#well that was stupid of me. crayons are cute and fun. and my art is By Default cute and fun so i might as well embrace it

[risingsunresistance]

i think my art was simply made for crayons, i need to go find some real crayons and break out one of the 5 year old sketchbooks i have laying around

[iknowher]

⠀⠀⠀⠀🍬ㅤ۫ ⠀𝓣rick or 𝓣reat 𝓓ick ࣪ ᚐ ִ

art by @ baobei_bu on tmblr.

🎃ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤsum. ㅤbored before a halloween party, you summon a demon for fun. to your surprise, incubus!gojo appears, offering you a tempting choice: "trick or dick?" 👻ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤcw.ㅤsmut (18+), squirting, semen.. reader is described female, mentions about demonic rituals 😈ㅤ♰ ㅤ˙ㅤwc.ㅤ1,1k 𓉸 𓈒ㅤmy* note: the person who drew the art is so goated fr

you looked at the clock.. still a couple hours to go till the halloween party officially began. you decided the best way to endorse your time was to do a dare, of course! you went on google: how to summon demons… you figured out that it was probably fake, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. first step was to kill a stranger?? yeah no. you still had a couple of red crayons from kindergarten, and you drew a baphomet symbol. safe to say it didn’t even look remotely to what you were supposed to draw. now you just need 4 candles! good thing you hoarded bath&body candles like no tomorrow. wow, you were finally done— and the aroma spread through the whole house! time for the actual incantation… te invoco a profundus inferni… no response.. wait— is there seriously an earthquake? the whole vicinity shook around you, you were sure the earth was gonna collapse at how hard it was shaking. good thing it only lasted a few seconds. it was a strange occurrence, sure, but something else was in front of you. did it actually work?! but it was no ordinary demon now that’d be boring. you noticed a man in front of you with a sly smirk. he had white, frosty hair and blue eyes. not to mention the slutty outfit he had on. a latex bodysuit with a heart cut-out, there were no sleeves— so you could see the absolutely toned arms. his horns were a gradient of purple to black and the tip of his tail was heart-shaped. actually, you both were kind of matching— you had the same outfit, but with fake horns and tail of course. you guys were giving couple goals! anywho, his eyes dropped from your boobs heart cut-out back to your face. ‘’what? you decided to dress up as me for halloween?’’ he teased you, ‘’i’m quite endeared.’’ you furrow your eyebrows, you just found the costume at a walmart. ‘’no? i didn’t even know you existed.’’ you couldn’t help but admit he was certainly attractive, and the bulge in his probably-too-tight bodysuit was a bit too noticeable… ‘’well, human, since you summoned me and awakened me from my eternal slumber..’’ he thought for a moment, placing one finger on his chin. ‘’trick or dick?’’ you were confused, what type of question was that? normally it was trick or treat. however.. you couldn’t help but consider that he didn’t look like an ordinary demon, he had a purple and pink color scheme— instead of the normal black and red. ‘’what are you?’’ you asked blatantly. ‘’oh.. mortals nowadays… i’m an incubus.’’ what did he just say? in-cum-us? you clenched your thighs together, rubbing against your core. ‘’omg.. are you stupid or stupid. i’m a sex demon, silly.’’ he slowly stepped up to you, ‘’so, answer me.. trick or dick?’’ you gulped, looking around.. it wouldn’t hurt to do it once, and you’d have to wait for that party anyways.. so, ‘’dick.’’

now, somehow, you’re here on the couch with him on top of you. you were stripped of all your clothes, besides your horns, since he said that it was ‘’cute’’. surprisingly enough, for a sex demon, he took things gentle in the beginning. but it wasn’t long before you pleaded him to go faster. ‘’faster.. ‘s too slow.’’ he rolled his eyes, ‘’foolish.. okay.’’ he picked up the pace by quite a lot, his thick and long shaft reached every area, as if your pussy was practically molded for him. he couldn’t help but also pay attention to your tits, fondling them. you couldn’t keep in your moans, your neighbors probably heard.. whatever, you whimpered.. ‘’i’m close..’’ his smirk turned into a grin. as he started rubbing your clit, it didn’t take long till you cummed. cum x1. oh.. how did we get here? you were on your knees, begging him to let you suck him off. he agreed hesitantly, but that’s ‘cause he didn’t wanna moan more than you. your tongue licked the sides, and he already let out the most sluttiest mewl ever. you finally began sucking him off, his hand coming on top of your head to pull on your hair. sure, it did hurt, but you kinda liked it..! the tip of his cock kept hitting the back of your throat, and let’s just say your gag reflex is absolutely ass. soon enough, he let out a mewl, putting his hand on the back of your head to make you go faster. he cummed in your mouth.. he offered you a tissue to spit it on, thank god because you didn’t wanna swallow up his seed.

cum x2.. and now he was sitting between your thighs, your legs spread out and all. he wondered how many fingers you could take. he put his index finger in your hole, quickly clenching around it. your pussy reacting to him, i mean— he was much better than you masturbating to cringe hentai, you got shivers remembering. he pulled out his finger to replace with his tongue, and it felt extraordinary, you weren’t good at having intercourse at all, he already figured it out. he swirled his tongue around your sensitive nub, it sending electric currents throughout your whole body. you kept letting out groaning, till the point he had to tell you to quiet down ‘’a little bit’’. the moment he put two fingers in and hitting your g-spot.. you knew you were doomed. he was bringing you immense pleasure, till the point that you.. cummed.. well, it felt a lot different.. it felt wetter. the wetness came onto most of his face, and he was shocked, for a moment. ‘’did you.. squirt?’’ before you could apologize, he let out a chuckle.

cum x3...?

well, the story goes like this… when an incubus makes a girl cum 3 times.. he can collect your soul, in old demon fashion. you didn’t even have time to react, you sold your soul for some good ol’ sex, and now god knows what happened to you. a few hours after the halloween party began, your friends knocked on your door, i mean, you had planned to meet up with them. knock.. knock.. knock. but alas, no answer— your body was an empty husk now. all for a little dare!

TRICK OR TREAT DICK?

♡ㅤ˒ㅤ666ㅤwork by @ iknowher ,, do not plagiarize! ..ᵗʰⁱˢ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒˢᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˢᵘᵏᵘⁿᵃ

[entryno17]

Can you go more into detail on TS!Underswap? It has sooooo many little details that are soooo amazing! What's the best boss battle for you? Or music? For me it's the Ruined Knights battle as they react differently when you eat their food or "spare kill them" and Mettacrits music!

YESSSS I’D LOVE TO!! ts!underswap is so genuinely good aaaggh.

i’d like to start by pointing out my absolute favorite detail in the entire game:

THEY ACTUALLY ADDED THIS. THIS IS KIND OF THE OBSCURE NONSENSE THAT I UNABASHEDLY ADORE. i started choking on the water i was drinking when i saw it.

speaking of mettacrit, it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to get his name... it’s metacritic. that’s a PERFECT name now that i get it lmao. also his theme goes so hard. i like him

the ruined knights were probably my favorite minibosses—i actually had no idea about the sandwich thing omg? they’re just really cute characters and i’m obsessed with karapaes’s stupid little “aha~” voice clip (which is apparently sampled from james in the pokemon anime?? lol). also i feel the need to brag about beating asgore’s “final breaths” first try, because i did. and—because i’m a nerd—it was while i was freaking out over the fact that it was another art book concept in action, so i was caught incredibly off guard during it LOL

the greasers battle theme is probably my favorite, also the song that plays on the weird spep name screen?? speaking of which, that thing actually scared me lmao.

i was told to enter it without knowing what it would do, so i kinda jumped when i saw it LMAO. not because it’s that scary itself, but because the thing it’s referencing (the ”fun is infinite” thing from sonic cd) is like one of the only things from a video game that genuinely, continuously creeps me out really bad and i don’t even know why??? regardless it’s a reference i deeply appreciate pfft.

some more random details i enjoyed:

* the fact that burgerpants is now burgerpant. just one. * being able to steal aaxel’s lunch money * how expansive ruined home is, i was expecting it to be like a single screen LOL * butchy "looking to see if her girlfriend is watching” * papyrus being an inventor and making gadgets for sans’s superhero persona, that’s adorable. also the fact that his jacket was a gift from undyne, apparently from when he worked in the royal science division... i’m really excited to see what they do with papyrus * we don’t really know anything about alphys, but both entering her name (or ‘alphy’) on the character naming screen has her talking in a french accent, i noticed?? don’t know what that’s about. but it’s kinda great. * FLAVORED BATTLE SPRITES * loox’s one disturbingly smooth animation? * the journal is SUCH a cute feature, and the little crayon drawings.. aww * all the ways asgore is shown to contrast with toriel... it’s just written well. the most striking part to me was asgore jumping in front of your attack, if you choose to fight the first froggit encounter * like a billion other things that aren’t coming to mind right now

anyway if you’re reading this and you haven’t already, go play ts!underswap. NOW. or i’ll GET you.

[siren1song]

@acanvasofabillionsuns​

Finally Got It

Summary: Remus isn't good with sappy, romantic words but he's gonna do his damnedest to overcome that for Patton.

Warnings: None I’m aware of.

Pairing: Intruality

Word Count: 2,095

General Taglist: @emo-disaster​, @greenninjagal-blog​, @jungle321jungle​, @sleepy-sides​, @gattonero17​, @another-sandersidesblog​, @strawberryjellystuff​, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit​, @gr3ml1n-loser​, @main-chive​, @firey-alex​, @spooky-scary-virgil​, @yalltookmyurlideas​, @sanderssidesweirdo​, @stormypaint​, @just-a-little-bit-gay-oops​, @dying-is-a-hobby​, @the-angry-child​

Intruality Taglist: @jessibbb​

Notes: Really loving these songs + ship requests :D also i am definitely considering this an early birthday present to myself.

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper’s Crew!! | Ao3 Link!!

Remus, despite being a writer, wasn’t really the best with his words.

At least, not when it came to romance he wasn’t. Being a horror novelist did nothing in the sappy department and he tended to have more skill in sex than he did in being romantic.

And yet… Patton still loved him. He giggled at his porn jokes and powered through his horror hyperfixation with a smile and a reminder to eat and drink water while he researched. It was honestly amazing how well they could work together.

That isn’t to say they haven’t had their problems of course. When they first met, Patton was so unsettled by Remus that he outright avoided interactions with him.

It had hurt and there was a long trial of them getting closer and Remus would always remember the first time Patton laughed at one of his sexual jokes (it had been a pun, and Remus learned that puns were basically the way to his heart).

God he loved that man so much.

Enough to try and write a stupid sappy love letter  on their third anniversary because Patton was the sappiest romantic Remus had ever met, even worse than his own brother, and he wanted to make him get that bubbly smile he wore when he watched romcoms like they were the best cinematic invention to grace the screen.

Fucking hell, Patton really was too cute to handle sometimes.

But again, Remus was really bad with being romantic in the traditional sense. He didn’t like the smell of roses so he either avoided the flowers or gave Patton dead ones. Then there was the fact he was allergic to chocolate so he couldn’t even consider getting Patton that because then he’d have to go a whole day, possibly longer, without kissing his boyfriend and Remus may be strong but no man who had a similar strength in desire for affection like him could handle that.

Sometimes he just wanted Patton to smother him in kisses and make him break down into wheezy cackling that made his heart overflow with love and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

With a small groan, Remus let his head fall back against the wall, the document on his laptop only having six words on the screen because he just… wasn’t sure how to continue the stupid letter.

“Squid?” Patton called, peering over the counter cutting between the living room and the kitchen, an eyebrow lifted and his smile lopsided in his concern.

“Doing fine, Pat. Just having a hard time thinking.”

“Is this about the thing you asked Roman about the other day?”

Remus cleared his throat a little bit, stubbornly continuing to look at the ceiling so Patton couldn’t see how his face was starting to redden.

“Kinda, yeah,” he answered, tapping his fingers on the corners of his laptop where he wouldn’t risk pressing buttons.

Patton went quiet for a second, and the next thing Remus knew he was thwapped in the temple with a paper ball.

Confusion and amusement distracted Remus from his embarrassment, and he looked at Patton with his own raised eyebrow while he searched for the paper ball with one hand.

When he found it, he brought it to eye level and looked away from his boyfriend to see… a wad of paper terribly decorated like a pokeball.

“What?” he asked his confusion and amusement both increasing as he looked at his now grinning boyfriend.

“Anniversary is coming up. Figured I’d give you your first hint on what I’ll be doing,” was Patton’s answer, which he punctuated with a wink.

Oh God, Remus was so in love with this dork

“With your hint given though, I’m gonna go back to planning my class for the week. Teaching kindergarten is rough work and all that,” Patton joked, blowing a kiss Remus’ way before he hid himself back in his office.

As serious as the word “office” sounded, Patton really had it full of stim toys, children’s toys and bad art and crayons. Said it put him in the environment he needed to get stuff done.

Remus was pretty sure he also just liked playing with the toys, but he couldn’t really fault him for it. Patton was very good at having a childish imagination and Remus loved him for it.

Not the only reason why he loved him, but it was a pretty big one.

If he had to list every reason Remus chose Patton as a lifelong partner, he’d be here… a while.

Chose.

Looking back at the paper pokeball, Remus tilted his head in thought, his brother’s words from the week before coming back to him.

”Look if you want to be sappy just… pick something that reminds you of him and build a metaphor linking it to him and how much you love him. Usually what I do with Janus.”

Hmm… He could work with that.

With a glance back to the doc on his screen, he backed out of four of the six words, set the paper pokeball down on the coffee table where he could look at it between focus bursts of writing and remember just how much he loved his boyfriend, and then got to work.

“Okay Pat the Cat, please tell me you’re not leading me into a cave where I have to outsmart an axe murderer because writing about horror and surviving horror are two different things and dying on our anniversary is not something I want to do.”

Patton giggled, and Remus could tell he was rolling his eyes, even if it was playfully.

“I’m flattered that you think I could get someone to kill for me-”

“You can? I’m right here.”

“Hush you. No, we’re not even in a cave right now? What made you think cave?”

Remus paused, looking in his boyfriend’s general direction, his sight hindered by a blindfold.

“We’re doing a lot of climbing, babe.”

Patton let out an ugly snort, pulling at Remus’ hand to urge him into moving again.

“We’re not going to a cave housing an axe murderer, Remus. Actually, we’re almost there! You’re gonna have to keep close to me though, I don’t want you running into a tree.”

With a fond sigh, Remus let himself be pulled just a little bit closer to Patton and kept himself there without tripping over his boyfriend’s heels.

Not long and Patton gently guided Remus to a stop and pulled him in for a chaste kiss.

He pulled off the blindfold while their lips were locked, and by the time Remus was blinking his eyes open, he felt kind of dumb for only writing Patton a letter because now they were in a clearing big enough to have a picnic blanket on the ground and there were cardboard cutouts of pokemon hanging from the trees.

It was clear Patton put a lot of work into this, and a sappy love letter felt a little inadequate compared to this.

“Do you like it? I remembered you talking about your special interest in the series when you were little and I know sometimes you still like watching the show and you always get the newest games so I just… figured it would be cute to give you something like this after three years of being together.”

Remus didn’t say anything, going up to the Trubbish cutout and lifting it a bit to get a better look.

After a second he looked at another cutout that had a Grimer on it. And another with a Weezing.

“Squid?” Patton asked, a bit of concern in his tone that made Remus turn to face him again.

“Oh honey…” he whispered, coming closer to Remus with his hands outstretched until they were on Remus’ face, thumbs wiping away tears Remus hadn’t even realized he was crying.

With a sniffle and a weak laugh, Remus covered one of Patton’s hands with his own.

“I’m fine. I just… got overwhelmed with how much I love you. You remembered all of my favorite pokemon?”

Patton’s concerned frown turned into an adoring smile.

“Of course! Pokemon is a really easy franchise to get into. There’s so many pokemon with names that are puns! And you get really excited when you talk about it, how could I not remember that?”

Remus kind of wanted to marry this man. Which wasn’t really a thought he had before but it didn’t exactly catch him off guard either.

“All this kinda makes my gift pale in comparison. If we didn’t have a no expensive gifts rule I absolutely would have done better,” he said, thinking to some of the things Patton has gushed over to make teaching his kids so much easier and more fun.

Patton scrunched up his face in distaste, shaking his head.

“Nope! Whatever you did, I’m sure it’s just as good. No self deprecation on our anniversary, mister.”

Snorting, Remus pecked Patton’s nose.

“Alright, alright fine. I’m gonna take a guess though that that picnic basket is full of food and if so I would very much like to eat after giving you your gift.”

“Why yes it is! C’mon, let’s sit down.”

Remus pulled the envelope with his letter out of his back pocket and sat down with his boyfriend, handing it to him before opening the basket so he could ignore his nerves and look at what Patton had prepared for them.

Things were quiet. Not silent, couldn’t be with the sounds of the woods surrounding them and Remus messing with the food containers trying not to watch Patton while he read the letter.

His nerves got worse with each second Patton read and didn’t say anything.

And then finally—

“You wrote this?” Patton whispered, voice hoarse with barely held back tears that Remus could see brimming in his eyes when he looked up.

“Uh… well I mean… I know it’s not the best, pretty sure I couldn’t edit out all of the rambling if I tried, but uh. Yeah, I did.”

Patton looked away from the papers, creased from being in the envelope and fluttering a little in the slight breeze surrounding the two and making the pokemon cutouts dance in the trees.

He was beaming.

“Well, I guess having a lifelong love letter is a good reason as any to give you this,” he said, gently folding the papers and placing them under one of the containers Remus had pulled out before digging into the picnic basket and pulling out a large metal pokeball he hadn’t noticed when he was digging in there.

Remus took it when Patton held it out, giving his boyfriend a questioning look and receiving a “go on” gesture in response.

Guess he was opening it then?

Slowly, he lifted the red top of the pokeball and then nearly dropped it in his shock when he saw a silver band glint in the sunlight peeking through the trees.

“Patton, what is this?” he asked softly, not sure because he could never be sure unless he was told outright what was happening.

“A proposal,” Patton answered, wringing his hands together in a clear display of anxiety, “kind of. I had this whole speech planned but your really sweet letter made me speechless.”

Remus and Patton both snorted a little at the joke.

Taking a deep breath, Remus looked back down at the ring so he could actually gather what it looked like beyond the silver band.

It wasn’t much, the band thick and two tiny gems impressed into the metal surrounded by linked hearts. The gems were blue and green, both Patton’s and Remus’ favorite colors.

He carefully took the ring out of the pokeball, and then slid it on left his ring finger as he felt a grin take over his expression.

Patton then launched himself at Remus, taking him by surprise and making them both fall to the ground.

“Please tell me that’s a yes,” Patton whispered, his arms wrapped around Remus’ waist and his face buried in his neck.

Remus huffed, settling his right hand on the small of Patton’s back, grinning up at the sky broken up by leaves before he brought his left hand in his vision to admire the ring.

“It’s a hell fucking yeah.”

With a squeal, Patton clung tighter to Remus, and he prepared himself to just lay in the grass with his fiance for a while.

Not like he minded though. Not when they were surrounded by his favorite pokemon and able to brush his fingers through Patton’s hair.

Remus finally got one that chose him too.

[xviicprc]

You have a very cute style and yes I realize I'm sending this ask while your profile pic is your mastersona with blood on her but it's true! (also she's cute I'd like to know more about her if that's okay?)

 Hi hi. Sorry to answering so late!

So.... About My Mastersona.......

Cyra Kuromaki!

An extremly Average mage-  

She is the daughter of two Mages, her father used to be a teacher in the Mage Association, while her mother is the oldest among her siblings and the one who inherited her Family’s Crest.

In theory, she should have been an excelent Mage, but her parents Magical Affinities were literal opposites, so they "nullified" eachother, leaving Cyra someone with tons of Mana, but no way to use it. Like having a powerful battery with no device to use it on-

So, Cyra was seen as "the weakest link of the chain" to both sides of her family. Which in the Fate World its the biggest dishonor™ to Mages, ever.

So she has no formal training in Magic, and only knows things in “theory”- her parents didn’t find it necesary to train someone who couldn’t even shoot the most basic of spells.

And, she joined Chaldea one day, merely by the benefits it would bring.

After all, it IS another prestigious Magical institution, and to Cyra, "It still counted". And it would lessen the sting of being someone who never could archieve anything in the Mage World. 

Of course the Grand Order happened.

"Guess I have to save humanity. This sucks, I am part of humanity".

Someone who always follows every command given to her in the beggining, but to not be held responsible when things go wrong, even if the order is wrong. “They can’t blame me if I do as they said, that’s on them” she would say if you called her out on this. You should thank her parents for that.

It took some time for her to be able to act without any commands.

She doesn’t get along with Mash or Olga at the beggining. 

In regards to Mash, she found her too clingy and “spoke too much“. But she mellows out with her the more she understood why Mash is the way she is, to the point where they became really good friends.

Olga on the other hand- she hated her guts. Cyra always had to bite her tongue around her, while internaly screaming. She even called Olga "bitch" when she said Cyra would be fired after they returned from Fuyuki, and promply recieved a slap to the face.

She didn’t take it back though.

------------------

Cyra always speaks her mind, with no sort of filter- which leads to her to clash a lot with many Servants at the beggining.

However, she does apologize later. If you show her why she was wrong, she’ll take your words at heart. And she wants to be a better person, being confined in a Antartic base with Heroes from the Past and the rest of the destroyed wasn’t what she expected to mature, but hey! If it works, it works!

While the Grand Order consumes most of her time, whenever she catches a break you can find her drawing in many places inside Chaldea (and even inside Singularities). She mostly draws the Heroic Spirits, the many places they explore, and even some members of the staff. If you were to look at her drawings, you could easily guess the order in which Servants appeared in Chaldea.

Interactions with other Servants would be:

The First Servant to answer her summons is Martha, who ends up treating Cyra like a little sister. They get along extremly well. Martha likes that Cyra doesn’t hide how she feels or if she doesn’t like something, while Cyra admires Martha for her strength and for being able to tame Tarasque while still having what people wouldn’t consider “the proper attitude of a saint” (Which both of them agree is stupid).

Her interactions with the children Servants start out very awkard. She doesn’t know how to handle them, and says “She is a horrible influence!” for them. So she avoided them at first. The first real interaction they had was when Nursery and Jack aproached her while drawing. “I want to try it out too!”. Later that day, she got them crayons and other art supplies for them to have fun. She still remembers how fun it was to be a kid and draw, and Cyra carefuly saves the drawings they made for her.

At the start of the Grand Order, the more boisterous Servants, like Drake or Cu made her nervous and jumpy. Explotions? No problem! Voices louder than average? “That is never a good sign”. Luckily, she gets over that anxiety she feels and learns to have fun with them.

If she is talking to herself, murmuring, or anything of the sort, there is a great chance someone else is there too.

Is good friends with Karna. Cyra is always happy to see him, and you ber they’ll perfom the Special Handshake. They are both “the quiet friend”, and if you find them together, they are definitively vibin in silence. And both “failed at communication” many times, so that’s another thing in common they have.

Cyra keeps a distance from most of the “King” Servants, the only concrete exception being Artoria, because she was one of the very First Servants Cyra summoned and has known her the longest. That, and, Artoria doesn’t have “the same attitude as them”.

-----------

WELL wasn’t that long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hhh im still working on her story and such- I’m more of an artist than a writer, so its easier for me to tell stories and such on drawings than in text format haha.

Thank you for asking about Cyra!!!!! Im also happy you find my art cute and wanted to know more about my self indulgent oc hahahahhaa

[birbleafs]

[fic] Strange Creatures

Series: Artemis Fowl Rating: G Genre: Friendship & Humour, Post-series Character(s): Beckett Fowl, Myles Fowl, Mulch Diggums, Juliet Butler, Holly Short and Artemis Fowl II Summary: Mulch Diggums finds himself abruptly enlisted by the Fowl twins, Myles and Beckett, to create the best Eldest Brother’s Day gift for Artemis, much to Holly and Juliet’s amusement. A/N: Here’s my full piece for the Artemis Fowl Fanzine: A Fowl Mood! It was really fun to be part of this project - many thanks to the mods & fellow contributors for all their hard work. Thanks also to my bro Digi for being a wonderful beta ♥  There are still some leftover merch for sale if anyone’s interested. This fic is set a few years after The Last Guardian, without taking into account the events in The Fowl Twins (as I’d finished writing it last July). Fic can also be read on AO3. _______

“What strange creatures brothers are!” -Jane Austen- ~.*.~ Mulch Diggums was once again on the run and back to his old habits of skulking among dastardly rich Mud Men, pilfering trinkets and valuables from their homes. And once again, word of his not-quite-earnest—or legal, for that matter—endeavours soon reached the LEP’s ears. In fact, his current whereabouts had turned up as a flashing blip on Foaly’s screens when the centaur had been running one of his routine surveillance sweeps of the surface. That, however, is another story altogether, one that Foaly would happily indulge in if you let him. But Captain Holly Short is a busy elf—short on time and even shorter with patience. So alas, Foaly’s tale would have to be shelved. For now, at least.

So it was that Mulch found himself abruptly cornered by an LEP Retrieval squad in his own home—well, he was house-sitting at the moment, but hey, same difference—just as he was settling into a nice, warm mud bath. That’s the thing about the LEP. Always with the atrociously bad timing, never an ounce of tact. So much for being role models, upstanding fairies of the People. The last thing Mulch saw and heard was a deafening blast as the bathroom door burst wide open, and the zipping sound of a fabric-like netting whirling tight around him. There was a flurry of movement as he struggled in the velvet darkness enclosing him, before he found himself promptly hauled back to Haven City and into the dimly-lit interior of a drab holding room, sitting once again before Captain Short. “Holly! Mon chéri… Compadre!” Mulch cooed, tuning his natural dwarfish charm up a notch. “How’s my favourite elfin lady today?” “Cut the chatter, Mulch. I’m sure you know exactly why you’ve been detained.” Truthfully, Holly didn’t have any hard evidence for Mulch’s arrest this time—not yet, at least. But Mulch had hardly ever been innocent, even when he wasn’t actively committing a crime, so it wasn’t too difficult for her to pretend the LEP knew of his most recent of illegal endeavours (which they didn’t). Besides, she’d lost a stupid bet during a party several weekends ago, and—well. You reap what you sow. Holly made a mental note to never take another sip of a certain centaur’s home concoction of sim-alcohol, recreational study or not. Anyway, back to the plot: She had lost a bet and now she had to pull this dumb prank on Mulch in return for a favour for a certain Mud Boy’s family. Holly could almost hear said Mud Boy’s tired sigh of disapproval upon hearing of his friends’ latest shenanigans. Still, she’d also promised Artemis she would visit the twins soon and she figured this was a nifty way to kill two birds with one stone. Technically, it would be two Fowls and a dwarf. Holly chuckled at her own joke, certain that Artemis wouldn’t have appreciated that quip at all, figurative murder or not. Before Mulch had a chance to explain his innocence this time, Holly began listing down the years he’d have to serve, the cell block they had carefully picked out for him this time, the terribly cold draft they had made sure would pass into said cell every night. And just as Mulch was about to get suspicious, Holly shifted gears and offered a compromise instead. Even though he was still confused and rightfully wary of the sudden turn of events, Mulch tentatively accepted Holly’s deal. And soon, he found himself whisked away on a shuttle topside, piloted by the Captain herself. “So where are we headed?” Mulch asked once he’d settled comfortably into his seat. “Now that it’s just you and me, Captain… I’m allowed to be privy to the details of said ‘deal’, right?” Holly was tempted to reveal the truth then, but she figured it’d be funnier if she let the dwarf discover it for himself. Mulch was a crafty one, after all—it wouldn’t take him too long to realise what was really going on. She only gave him a knowing smirk and murmured ominously, “All things in good time, Mulch.” * From the E1 shuttle port at Tara, it was a quick jaunt to the Fowl Manor. Holly could already hear the voices of the twins drifting over the wind as they made their way past the last cluster of Artemis’ fairy roses and to where the twins and their nanny Juliet Butler were seated by the fountain in the courtyard. Seven-year-old Beckett Fowl was the first to glance their way; Holly could’ve sworn the child had canine-like senses, what with the way he had whirled around at their near-silent approach. He was the very picture of innocence as he bounced up to them, his radiant curls and bright-eyed stare reminiscent of an eager golden retriever puppy. “Holly’s here! And S’Mulch Dinggus!” Beckett squealed happily as he launched himself at her. Holly embraced him warmly, before waving a greeting to Juliet who stood patiently behind the boy. The dwarf tutted, unimpressed at the butchering of his name. “We’ve been through this the last time, little Mudskipper. It’s Mulch Diggums.” “That’s what I said,” Beckett giggled, turning back to look at Juliet. “S’Mulch Dinggus. Funny he can’t remember his own name.” Before Mulch could get a protest in edgewise, he was interrupted by a small, polite cough. He turned and saw a bespectacled, raven-haired Mud Child appearing by Beckett’s side. Myles Fowl had the same piercing blue eyes as his free-spirited twin, but unlike his twin, he was the seemingly more precocious and finicky of the two. He looked every bit the likeness of his eldest brother, Mulch noted humorously—from the meticulously pressed suit and tie to the neatly-combed dark hair. Heck, the kid had even perfected the infamous Fowl glare to an art form, crystalline and frigid as an Arctic winter. “You’re finally here as summoned, Mister Mulch,” Myles greeted solemnly. He ignored the wet, icky sounds of Beckett blowing raspberries beside him. “Took you long enough.” “Summoned?” Mulch frowned, before a thought struck him. He grinned toothily at Holly. “So that’s what this is about, eh, Captain Short? ‘Detained’, my hairy as—” “Language, Mulch,” Holly said, stepping on the dwarf’s toes all while matching his grin with a serene, innocent smile of her own. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry I had a Retrieval squad jump you back there in the house. But it’s not like you were likely to be agreeable and come quietly if you knew the Fowl twins had extended an invitation and personally requested for your…er, assistance.” “Is not invitatitions,” Beckett chirped as he chewed on a piece of purple beeswax crayon. “Arty said summons would do in the tongue of magicks, so we summons S’Mulch!” He gave a sagely nod, his mouth stained and flecked with purple now. Mulch gave Holly a look of disappointment. “Frankly, I’m hurt you think I’d even pass up the chance to humiliate my favourite Mud Boy, and what’s more, by teaming up with his own cute brethren. Okay then, little Fowl nuggets. What dwarfish advice would you need this time?” “First of all, we’re not nuggets,” Myles said coldly, just as Beckett clucked like a gleeful hen and made flapping motions with his arms. “I assure you that we are still one-hundred percent Homo sapiens, even if Beck has gotten very good at animal mimicry of late.” “I see this one’s got a great sense of humour,” Mulch observed drily. “Definitely Artemis’ brother.” “A-hem. As I was saying...” Myles scowled at the interruption, and Mulch held up a placating hand in apology. “Secondly, Beck and I, we thought it through for many weeks—Well, I did anyway. However, we weren’t able to make any significant progress in the lab even with Professor Primate’s expertise—” “Not quite sure where you’re going with this riveting story, kiddo,” Mulch muttered. “But I’m still listening, if that helps.” “—and after several failed attempts, we have conceded that we need help from someone with the right skills. Skills we do not yet possess.” Myles paused, his young face pinched with doubt. But his hesitation was fleeting, and he met both Mulch and Holly’s curious expressions with a determined gaze once more. “We want to throw Arty the best surprise Eldest Brother’s Day when he gets back,” the boy said. “So, would you please honour us, Mister Mulch, and teach us how best to make—” “Flatulence!” Beckett crowed as if on cue, punching a fist victoriously into the air. “Please, brother. Not this again.” Myles groaned. “You boys want me to teach you how to let a mighty rip?” Mulch asked, incredulous. “No, that’s not it!” Myles cried, exasperated. “Beck has gotten it all muddled! He means the fettling process used in pottery, not the crude effusion of intestinal gas!” He tugged frantically at Beckett’s sleeve, trying to stop his twin from belting out his favourite self-composed tune called A Song of Gas and Fire, to no avail. For two whole minutes, the group was forced to listen to Beckett’s high-pitched singing of “Pbbthh, pbbthh, rattle-boom! Gas and fire, gas and fire! Heave-ho, the window’s blown!” “Thanks, little Mudskipper, for that, uh, delightful performance,” said Mulch, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes once Beckett had finished his song. “I gotta say, you sure are a natural. But there’s still something I don’t really get. Why would you need my help for the surprise? Like don’t get me wrong, kiddos, I like you two enough. But what’s wrong with Holly or Juliet here, or even Butler himself? If anything, they’re better suited at picking out the mushy gifts...” He trailed off, thinking hard. “Well, I trust the Big Man’s taste for the sentimental, at least.” “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Mulch,” Juliet deadpanned, with only the slightest roll of her eyes. “It’s true Butler had some good suggestions for gifts, but this is a Fowl twins initiative, so we figured we’d let the kids decide on their own. Besides, Beck had other ideas.” “My ideas the best ideas!” Beckett chanted, beaming brightly. “We decided that we want to make Arty a sculpture for Eldest Brother’s Day.” Myles supplied, glancing at Mulch once again. “We know that Mister Mulch is highly attuned to the necessities of good clay work by virtue of his biological make-up— “S’Mulch is good with muds and gas! I wanna learn how to blast clay backwards too!” “—therefore, you are best suited to teach us how to sculpt and—” “And flatulence!” Mulch tried his best, he really did, but he couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer. He didn’t know which was funnier: the thought of the twins gifting Artemis Fowl, ex-criminal virtuoso and menace of the People, a squishy caricature blob of his miniature being or Beckett performing a pompous and fartastical symphony of A Song of Gas and Fire for his dear eldest brother. Either way, he was rightfully tickled and the twins were in luck. Unbeknownst to many, Mulch had spent some time dabbling in pottery and sculpting with clay when he’d lived amongst the celebrity Mud Men; he had chalked it up as weird hobby of sorts.  “You Mud twins are hilarious,” he said, once his laughter had subsided and he’d managed to straighten himself up again. “All right, I’m sold on this crazy venture. I’ll help with the sculpting of a masterpiece for ol’ Arty-boy.” From the corner of his eye, he caught a glance of Juliet’s smug expression. Her lips were curved into a wide Cheshire grin as she tapped Holly’s shoulder expectantly. The elf only groaned, before she reached into her back pocket to fish out a single gold coin and slipped it into Juliet’s fingers. Mulch frowned at the exchange, throwing them his best hurt-puppy look. “Running a betting pool on me and for only a single gold coin? I’m affronted, ladies.” “You only wish your crooked mug is worth half a penny,” Holly shrugged. “I’m being generous because Juliet’s a friend.” “Aww, I knew you were a big old softie inside!” Juliet sighed happily, reaching forward to teasingly pinch the side of Mulch’s face. “Now that that’s settled, someone can finally knead clay with the kids and get some work done before Artemis gets home from his conference this weekend.” She quickly stepped away, disappearing into the nearby garage for several minutes before she returned carrying a craft box packed with an assortment of smaller items inside. “These rascals had me running to art stores all over Dublin the past two weeks looking for all kinds of overpriced play-dohs, and yet hardly asked if I could help them to sculpt!” She grumbled, not quite unkindly, as she shook the items out from the box, laying them out on a patch of grass before them. Holly looked over at Juliet in surprise. “I didn’t know you were into sculpting.” She thought of all the hours the young woman had spent whooping over her favourite wrestling matches on TV as a teen. “Never pegged you as the artistic type.” Juliet snorted. “Pfft, me? Nah, I don’t sculpt. That’s more a pretentious Artemis thing.” “Why would you expect the twins to ask you to teach them, then?” “Well, I’d like to be asked first, at least! I took the time to buy all these fancy play-dohs for them, didn’t I?” Mulch leaned forward in interest, looking over the packets of “play-dohs”. He spotted several labelled as Creative Paperclay—at least Juliet managed to get some of the good stuff. He grinned toothily as he rolled up his sleeves, feeling a spark of excitement at getting to work with clay again. “Okay then, kiddos. Let’s get cracking and moulding.” * “What’s this Eldest Brother’s Day thing you Mud Men celebrate like anyway?” Mulch asked. They’d made their way from the courtyard into the Manor basement where Artemis had set up a work space for Myles’ messier experiments and tinkering projects. The group stood now before the large experiment bench. Juliet covered the top with a large plastic mat, and turning the craft box over, shook packets of Creative Paperclay and several plastic and wooden crafting tools out on the bench. At Mulch’s question, she turned and gave him a strange look, brows furrowed. Then she let out a short laugh when she realised he was actually being serious. “Silly fairy,” she snickered, glancing over the top of Myles and Beckett’s heads before she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper: “There’s no such thing as Eldest Brother’s Day. It’s just something the twins came up with but I’m not going to ruin it for them and tell them it isn’t actually a thing. I’m not a monster, you know.” “We know it, Juliet,” Beckett said suddenly, blinking up at her with those large blue eyes filled with mischief and daring. “But Artemis’ a simple-toon—” Myles giggled at his twin’s use of their brother’s old nickname, even as he fought to keep his expression stoic. “—and simple-toons need Eldest Brother’s Day. So we celebrate.” Beckett finished with a nod, as though he’d just gifted both his human and fairy nannies with his brand of enlightenment. “Riiiight,” Mulch said, shaking his head. He figured some things were best left unasked and unexplained, especially when dealing with incorrigibly irreverent Fowl children. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for that impromptu alliteration (it was the playwright blooming within him, he was sure of it) and turned back to the project at hand. The twins had already decided early-on the sort of sculpture they had wanted to create. After ruminating over it weeks before, Myles had settled on recreating a 5-inch figure of Jayjay the silky sifaka, the fluffy white lemur whose whimsical escapades were often included in the bedtime stories Artemis read them. Beckett, on the other hand, had chosen to fashion an honorary tribute to Artemis’ late Syrian hamster, Lady Maeve, poised upright on her hind feet in an impassioned stance, gnawing away at a two-headed wyrm. Once the twins had sketched out their preferred designs on paper, Juliet pinned the sketches up on the cork board on the wall for easy reference. Then they got to work. Mulch placed two cups of water on the bench, and proceeded to show the twins how to gauge the amount they needed for their sculptures and how to knead the clay to warm it up and make it more malleable. “It’s a bit like baking extravagant pastries,” he said as he cut a block of clay into various-sized pieces. “You roll the individual shapes out like this and then stick them together to form a whole creature. Like an animal jigsaw puzzle, so to speak.” “They aren’t edible or taste any good though, not like pastries,” Holly added quickly when she noticed Beckett staring a little too longingly at the piece he’d been kneading. She tapped his fingers away just as the boy lifted the clay to his mouth for a quick nibble. “No tasting?” Beckett asked mournfully. “No tasting.” The elf shook her head. “But I do have some special treacle and espresso power bars from Haven City. It’s much better than consuming bland clay. I’ll let you have a bite later when we finish sculpting Lady Maeve, okay?” It seemed like a good bargain, so Beckett closed his mouth and chewed at his lower lip instead, rolling his clay pieces under his palms with renewed fervour. They continued shaping their pieces. Mulch showed the twins how to score the ends of the individual pieces they’d made for the limbs with a plastic knife. Then they connected the scored ends of the limbs to the body, blending the seams and smoothing it down carefully with their fingers and dabs of water. They continued in a similar fashion for the heads, noses, ears, and tails. Once the twins were satisfied with their sculptures, Mulch carefully placed the pieces on a cool, clean shelf to gradually dry and set over the next 24-hours. When they returned later to check on their work, the twins found the dried sculptures were now off-white and grainy to touch, quite unlike the squishy beige blobs they had been pinching and moulding with their hands the day before. “And now for a good splash of colour to make your pieces really pop,” Mulch said, dumping several tubes of acrylic paints and brushes on the bench with much more flair than necessary. He had a paint brush stuck behind one of his hairy ears—it helped him feel attuned with the art connoisseur in him. “Jayjay has a mostly pure-white coat,” Myles mused as he picked out a few choice colours, “but I think a gold accent to his fur tips, ears and tails would bring out his features more.” “Gold, huh?” Mulch looked over the boy’s chosen colour scheme with approval. “Good aesthetic you got there, Mudling.” “A very Fowl aesthetic for sure.” Holly couldn’t help the quip, her eyes twinkling with mirth. Artemis would certainly appreciate the touch. “Lady Maeve wants to be purple like rain,” Beckett declared solemnly, having been uncharacteristically silent for five whole minutes. “Purple? But Beck, Lady Maeve was a golden long-haired Syrian.” Myles tilted his head towards his twin. “If you paint her fur purple, Arty might not recognize her.” Beckett’s attention, however, seemed to be two steps ahead of the conversation. He’d already dipped his brush with paint and was dabbing streaks of purple all over the hamster’s body. “The Lady requests a cloak of purple rain, so purple she shall be.” The adults could barely stifle their chuckles while Myles groaned once again in defeat. He decided it was probably for the best and turned his attention back to painting his lemur. It was nearly noon when the twins added the last dabs of paint, after which Mulch proceeded to spray a coat of clear acrylic varnish over the sculptures to preserve and seal the colours. Then, he stepped several paces back from the bench to marvel at the fruits of their labour. “We have finished at last.” Myles’ voice was soft, awe pooling in his eyes. Hesitantly, he turned to Juliet and Holly, and then glanced back at the dwarf, searching for reassurance. “What do you think, Mister Mulch? Will Artemis like it?” Mulch rubbed at his beard thoughtfully. Both sculptures looked very much like what you would expect of two seven-year-olds’ valiant attempts at artisanal clay work. “Hmm.” He clicked his tongue lightly as he paced around the work bench, reaching into his inner art critic for the right words. “Now, Myles: Despite the crooked tail, you did a fairly good job at carving the fur textures on your lemur. Plus, adding gold accents to the white fur is very innovative and makes Jayjay glow nicely under the light. A very regal and classic touch overall.” Mulch came to a dignified pause before the second sculpture, rubbing his palms together as if in deep thought. “As for Beckett’s recreation of Lady Maeve: It seems far more… robust than the original, almost challenging anatomy and even physics itself. But the bright mixes of purple and gold contrasts nicely with the green and gore of the flailing wyrm, adding a surprising dynamism to the entire piece. All in all, two very good attempts, my young apprentices.” Holly and Juliet were already sighing halfway through Mulch’s needlessly opulent commentary, but even they agreed with the dwarf’s final assessment, much to the relief and delight of Myles and Beckett Fowl. * When Artemis Fowl the Second arrived home from his two-week long conference on Wildlife and Biodiversity Conservation, he was surprised to be greeted only by an unusually silent living room, devoid of the typical sounds of playful bellowing and childish laughter. Leaving Butler to unload his luggage from the Bentley, Artemis wondered briefly at the absence of his two brothers and Juliet, their sitter, before he noticed a strange sort of rumbling noise and vibration coming from somewhere below him. Curious, he headed for the basement, moving cautiously towards the noise. It was there that he found the twins asleep and cuddled around a familiar rotund shape sprawled upon an old velvet sofa. The fairy had his head thrown back against the cushion and was snoring rather noisily. “Ah,” Artemis said, eloquent as ever. He steepled his fingers together, taking a moment to process the scene before him. “Arty…? Oh, you’re finally back.” Holly’s soft voice broke him out of his reverie. He turned to see his old friend curled up on a second sofa, blinking the sleep from her eyes. “Welcome home,” she yawned a greeting. “Juliet’s in the kitchen fixing up some snacks, I think.” “Hello, Holly. It’s good to be back among familiar faces again. It seems that I’ve missed quite a party while I was away…” Artemis trailed off when he caught sight of the strange creatures placed on Myles’ experiment bench. “They’re supposed to be a surprise for you when you returned. For Eldest Brother’s Day.” Holly explained when Artemis raised a delicate eyebrow. He lifted up one of the sculptures for a closer inspection, his forehead creased in confusion at what looked to be a purple rodent gnawing on a plump string of green linguine—Beckett’s. “Eldest Brother’s Day?” Artemis echoed. He reached for the second sculpture—Myles’ lemur—before walking over to take a seat beside Holly on the sofa. Holly stretched her arms as she sat upright. “It’s kind of a long story.” “I expect so. Do enlighten me, if you will.” “Well, let’s see...” Holly began, brushing the side of her cheek with a finger. “Once upon a time, there were a pair of twins who, Frond only knows why, admired and looked up to their chaotically unhinged older brother greatly.” Artemis gave her a slightly wounded look, pressing a hand to his chest in a show of mock offense. “I’m appalled, Holly. You of all people know I prefer calculating to chaotic. There is a method to my madness, after all.” “Ever the theatrical misunderstood genius, aren’t you?” Holly rolled her eyes, even if she couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips. She nudged his shoulder playfully with her own, a show of affection. “Myles and Beckett adore you immensely—you know that, right?” Artemis beamed, warmed by Holly’s laughter and the comfort of being close to friends and family once more. He watched his sleeping brothers, curled closely towards each other much like two peas in a pod, before he turned his gaze back to the sculptures in his hands. “I know,” he said softly, still marvelling at the twins’ recreations of Jayjay and Lady Maeve. And for the barest of moments, in the quiet that stretch comfortably between them, Artemis Fowl knew that this may only be the start of the first (of many) Eldest Brother’s Day he would experience, but it was already a very good day nonetheless. And he was content. —End—

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #264

I did tell y’all WoW would devour my life again when I got my laptop back lmao. But I’m still alive!!

When you wake up to pee at night, do you turn on the light? You mean like, in the bathroom? Uh, yeah? When was the last time you got a fresh box of crayons? Damn dude, I don't have a clue. What color is your favorite towel? I don't have a favorite. They're all just random colors. Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? Actually no, not since Mom got a new phone. I really need to learn it. Do you wear hoodies? Yeah, one Pikachu one. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: We were arguing and she tried to kick me out of the car once. Obviously I didn't listen. It was one of our worst arguments. How many different homes have you live in?We're in our fourth house now. WELL there's another if you count the apartment, but I didn't officially live there, I was just... always there even though it was against policy lmao. Then when we were technically homeless I "lived" with my former best friend, but again, that was not an official thing. Did your mom go to college? She is, though cancer has thrown a wrench in the plan... She's on her final semester of a bachelor's degree in social work. With cancer now plus this wild quarantine, we don't really know what's going on. Where is the best place you know to take a dog for a walk? We have a park maybe like 15 minutes from here that's pretty decent. Nice fountain, fishing docks, plenty of ducks. Are there any crazy sandwich combinations you like to eat? It's not "crazy," as I know it's actually tasty to some people: having lunch meat, cheese, mustard, and potato chips. I haven't had that in yeeeaaars. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Uh. I'm not sure. We usually have fruit, beans, and soup in there, but I'm not sure which there's more of. Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? No. Do you prefer rugs or bare floors? Rugs. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't really drink from any. Your bad habit that you love the most: Heh, drinking soda... Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: I have before, yes. Had a guinea pig named Harry Potter lol, rats named Tezzeret and Rhoka, and... that may be it. I am not positive, had a lotta pets... Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? Oh my god, I was about to say no, but wait. When I first started RP at around 9, I had the impression you were supposed to always be in-character. Me, at the time my account being just "mozart2" (I don't count her as my first RP character though, she turned into Ruby and was drastically changed) on the Animal Planet forum, wanted to be the "dominant female," and one of the girls whose name was like Angelkiss or something was "mean" to me and so I reciprocated until I GOT FUCKING BANNED ON THIS ACCOUNT I'M WRITING THIS AND IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME I HATE YOUNG ME SO MUCH. What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? Idk. Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Not necessarily. Yellow doesn't mean dirty + everyone is supposed to have some coloration, and I can't say shit anyway 'cuz mine are kinda yellow from poor self-care in the past anyway. I just care that they're clean. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Girt is a damn giant lmao. I only reach his chest. Shortest, I'm unsure. Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? Well besides the famous ones, no. HA, fun fact that cracked me the fuck up though, someone in the government in NC that is running for... something, there are sometimes like three signs in a row along the road that say "RUN FORREST, RUN" and I fuckin died the first time I saw it. Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? I don't believe in angels or demons, so. Ghosts, yes. Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? Dancing, for sure. I'm more educated on the form and techniques, plus it's way more entertaining. What was the mascot at your elementary school? A bulldog. It was super cute, and in art class, the art students all worked together to make colorful, clay models that were in the principal's office. Everyone loved them. Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? Yes and yes. Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? I'll probably never know 'cuz my ass is afraid of them lmao. I get dizzy too easily and I'm terrified of the potential of getting sick. Do you think home-made cards are better than store-bought ones? They're more thoughtful imo. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? The Notebook. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? By their volition, probably a Facebook friend. How did you decide upon your favorite colors? I didn't know you could pick your favorite color. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? Wow no. I mean unless they look obviously dangerous, like if they had blood on them or something like that. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? If you say anything but pink, you're wrong. Do you prefer schedules and plans, or spontaneity? Schedules. Sponteneity, usually, stresses me out. How do you let someone know that you like him/her? I mean idk. Act like it or say it. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I'm more myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? Hell no. I'd want them to like me for who I actually am. Would you rather buy presents for others, or receive them? BUY, so long as I'm happy with what I bought and know it'll make them happy. How did you meet your current best friend? YouTube. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? I haven't finished it, but I'm writing a poem about the strength of cancer patients following Mom getting her hair shaved off. Are you a mostly blunt person? No, because I'm too afraid of starting an argument. Do you have any talents that come naturally? I guess writing since I've been applauded for it since I was very little. Do you go out often? Even before quarantine, not at all. I go out so little that my eyes seriously hurt when I step outside; I always have to squint or entirely close my eyes for a few seconds. What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? There was one year Jason got me a really pretty heart box of chocolates plus the game Heavy Rain and a pink rose. May still have a picture of it on my old phone... Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? No. It's hard to be "overly nice" in my opinion. Would you prefer internet or television? Internet. What is something you lose often? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I never do. How old is your oldest sibling? 30-something. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Yes. Who's the last person you said I love you to? Mom or Sara. What's your stance on spooning? What a question. It's comforting, but I usually can't actually fall asleep like that because I get too hot. Have you ever been "popular?" Nah, not really. Well, I was pretty well-known in the meerkat YouTube community as an editor, but not like, Yelozo level. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Well, I was a Christian when my sister's friend's grandpa made me like, SUPER uncomfortable by talking to me all the way home from school (he had to drive us this day) about the Bible and stuff because it was his "job" as a religious man and I kinda had to take this little Bible from him just to be nice. Even when I was a Christian I wasn't VERY religious and really really felt like he was hardcore shoving his beliefs down my throat. Are you thin? Ha ha no. Do you like big earrings? Heavy/big earrings ruined my ears, so no. The holes are too stretched now and is why I'm putting very small gauges in so it doesn't look as stupid when I put an earring in and it just barely hangs on because my ear lobe literally looks like it could tear. Animated character that was your gay awakening? HA, there's been a few that looking back, I definitely thought were more than pretty, even as a kid, like Sheego from Kim Possible. But #1? Holy mother of fuck, Bayonetta. That is one fuckin HOT MAMA. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Hmm. It really does depend on what I feel like semi-watching. Maybe like, a let's play where I'm not THAT interested in the game, but I still do listen and glance over. Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I've never been to a bar, but when I go out to eat and I feel like getting a drink, it's usually a margarita. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? UGGGGHHHHH my tall leather boots with all these buckles and stuff. They're hot. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? Nothing that's really "surprising." Just three ordinary minimum wage jobs. What’s directly across from you? My snake's terrarium. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? No. ;-; I wish. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I've only ever had cream cheese. NO WAIT, I tried jam once and it was fucking repulsive. One bite and I was like "fuck no." I think it was strawberry jam though, which I hate. I'm not sure what else I'd try as idk what would taste good. Fruity or herbal teas? Neither. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? None. It's funny, as a kid when I thought I was "too old," I tried to hide the fact I still adored Pokemon, but for years now I've just been like "lol fuck yeah man Pokemon." What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Being an emo/goth/metalhead thing was NEVER a phase, Mom. Goddamn do I wish I could afford a gothic wardrobe laksjdfawde. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? There's no telling. I rarely check my closet for "special" clothes, but rather my dresser. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? The couch. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I'm all of them, plus sometimes song lyrics I find relevant lmao leave me alone. Name a classic Vine: YO that one of the dude looking for his berries with a WILD outfit, expression, and voice and then scares adventurers away from his tree made me fuckin cry for about 1,000 repeats. I miss Vine, man, good shit. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? We don't really "stock up" on any particular food. We do, however, tend to get a large box of frozen rats for Venus, if you can count that, but obviously that's not from the grocery store lol. How do you top your ice cream? Chocolate syrup mmmMMMMMMMMMMM Do you like Jello? Yeah. Do you have a fear, even only a slight fear of insects? I do. Do you have a favorite poem you like and can recall? If so, what is it? I don't have a favorite, no. Have you ever resided in a home that was haunted: *shrugs* I do think paranormal things happened in my last house, but idk about calling it haunted. Do you ever play any MMORPGS: Just WoW. What’s the closest river to you? Tar River. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? I don't think so. What bird is the cutest? Oh, I don't know. Something small and pudgy lol. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit is so cool. Have you ever held a real sword? No. What do you think about most? PTSD is v fun. My brain naturally drifts to relating topics when I don't know what to think about, which is most of the time. Certainly don't try to, but it just. Happens. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hell man, idk. I do have a weakness for Kellin Quin though; he's the first to come to mind. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Lion King. What are you currently listening to? "Saturnalia" by Marilyn Manson. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. The last person to be under covers with you? Sara. What's the compliment you get the most? Uhhh I think it's "I like your tattoo" (referring to my Mark one). BITCH just wait til it gets tidied up for four hours. Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? If they have good reason to, yes. I can't deeply dislike someone I don't know/have personally seen be a piece of shit, but I can sure not be fond of them until they prove unworthy of that judgment. Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Never gambled and don't plan to. Do you eat/drink at your computer? Yes, oops. How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) Actually, I tend to under-eat at most special occasions because odds are I'm not going to like the food. This isn't always the case, but yeah. Do you think it's important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I think it's very important to enjoy it. If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Probably the longest consecutive hours of not leaving the computer laksdfjawe I hate myself. Do/Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? From the very beginning, I hated school. It's why I was a goddamn monster to get up in the morning, even in high school. I only enjoyed (to a degree, anyway) my most recent college because it was a way to get out of the house and work towards my future. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Boy, do I. Most recently, after being put on a medication for my nightmares/terrors (which works!), I have intense muscle spasms in my legs, oddly only when I'm falling asleep. Apparently it's a very rare side effect of it, but I'm willing to tolerate it in place of having nightly terrors. Then there's my PTSD and just general poor self-image that can both send me down a total spiral. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Not legitimately. Like I've wondered what it would be like, but I've never truly wanted to be a guy. I'm just content with being what comes with being genetically female. Do you think you'd make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? Hell to the fuck no. Have you had an argument with anyone recently? If so, do you still have issues with that person? Not recently, no. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? Tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. Hell man, I don't have a clue. Have you ever worn colored mascara? If not, would you ever think about trying it? And if you have, what is/was your favorite color to wear? No, but I guess, if I had a reason to? What do you remember about your first day of secondary school? Were you more nervous or excited about it? I very faintly remember I had no desire to be there. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like Bebo or Myspace? Yeah, I had Myspace. Has anyone ever asked you out, and you turned them down? If so, did you feel guilty about it? Why do you think you said no? Yes, and not *really*, as I'm very strict with myself about whom I date. It's just awkward. And I just didn't like one guy romantically in elementary, my best male childhood friend was black (mind you I haven't been racist in the least since I was a tiny kid, I was just raised like that), and I knew Juan had a bad rep. Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? Ugh. Let's not. I feel obligated only with family. Has someone of the opposite sex ever sang to you? If so, how did you respond to it? LET'S. FUCKIN. NOT. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? Terrified.

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID 

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P  I S  G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E  T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

[specialmindz]

“huh?”

“Hey Snas, how you spell yo’ name? Is with an S or a Z?”

“what are you talking about?”

“Is S-N-A-S or S-N-A-Z? It sound like da’ latter, but I’s a baby, so I don’t spell good.”

“what exactly are you putting my name on?” asked Sans, eyeing the piece of paper in his brother’s hand.

“Is a flyer.”

“what’s on the flyer?”

“Letters.”

“bro-”

“Letters and a picture of you that I taked. Lookin’ fine in dat lab coat big Buther...”

“seriously pap, what are you putting my name on?”

“Is a job wanted flyer! I knows you doesn’t like working for Daddy for no monies, so I’m gonna get you a new one!”

Sans took the paper from his brother and began to read it out loud. “big-ass baby looking for work. cute butt, cute head, cute everything. has experience in being daddy’s slave-bro you’re not posting this.”

“Why not?!”

“many reasons.”

“You like being Daddy’s slave?”

“no, but if we’re starting with the obvious, this picture is inappropriate.”

“It’s yo’ butt!”

“i can see that-”

“I took the picture so they knows I’s not lying. There be a picture of your head and your feets underneath like a flippybook-”

“what is it with you and butts lately papyrus? you keep bringing them up and it’s weird!”

“Pooburty.”

“babies don’t go through puberty.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...”

“...I needs a doctor big Buther...”

Sans ignored him and continued to read the book he was holding, crumbling the paper Papyrus had made into a ball and shoving it into his coat pocket. He had hoped the act would make his brother get the message and go away, but the baby didn’t seem to care that his hard work had been destroyed. Instead, Papyrus merely pulled out another sheet and began to scribble on it with a pen.

“Okay, how’s dis? Big-ass baby looking for work, lossa experience being Daddy’s slave. No butt stuff.”

“papyrus, no. i appreciate what you’re trying to do, but no. it sucks that i don’t get paid, but i enjoy my job, so it’s fine.”

“*Tch* Lazybones! Work not supposed to be fun!” Grumbling, the infant angrily scribbled out what he wrote and started again. “Kay’...big-ass baby looking for fun. Lossa experience being Daddy’s slave, but still needs to be punished. He’s been real bad-”

“what?”

“He’s use to abuse and likes to abuse others-”

“i’m abusive? i’m abusive because i don’t want another job?”

“He be very obee-di-ant and likes to act like animals when he play. He go ‘WOOF WOOF! ARRROOOOO!”

“gimme that freaking paper.”

“Dis be Snas’s number, call if you gots any kestions or weequests.”

“don’t put down my number.”

“No number...? Kay’, I go change it to yo’ email.”

Sans paused. “’go?’ what do you mean ‘go?’ where are you go-ING?”

“Undernet.”

“the undernet?”

“Yep!”

“you put my cell number on the undernet?”

“I putted the job thingy and yo’ cell number. Now I gots to copy dis stuff and then post da’ flyers so ERYBODY knows about you. ”

“...”

“Also I didn’t know how to spell Snas, so I put Sans kay’?”

Sans’ sockets went dark.

RING RING!

“LOOK SNAS! An employer...”

RING RING RING!”

“Isn’t you gonna answer your phone big Buther? They might has a fun job for you...”

RING RING RING!

Looking at his pocket warily, the comedian reached inside and took out his phone, looking at the number.

“*sigh*”

It’s just Dad.

“hello? hey dad, sup?”

“You know what’s ‘sup’ child...”

“nooo, can’t say that i do actually. you realize i’m in the next room right? you can just come talk to me.”

“Well yes, I suppose I COULD do that, but there’s a slight problem.”

“you’re busy?”

“I’M DETAINED!”

Sans pulled the receiver away from his head. “what?”

“SOMEONE FOUND YOUR POST ON THE UNDERNET AND NOW I’M BEING QUESTIONED BY THE ROYAL GUARD!”

“wh-heh heh ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“IT’S NOT FUNNY SANS, THEY THINK I’M SELLING MY CHILDREN! WHY WOULD YOU PUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON THE WEB?”

“did you actually read the post or...?”

“OF COURSE NO-it was your brother wasn’t it?”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“Put that little shit on the phone.”

“alrighty,” turning around, Sans held out his cell phone to his little brother who grabbed it with both hands.

“Hellwoe? What you want?”

“TAKE THAT POST DOWN RIGHT NOW PAPYRUS!”

“Nyeh? Papyrus? I’s not Papyrus, dis be da’ pizza shop...”

“PAPYRUS!”

“We gots da’ cheesy pizza, da’ peppy-roni pizza, and we gots pizza with widdle fishies on them. They look like dis,” Papyrus widened his eyes and opened his mouth, imitating a dead anchovy.

“heh heh heh...”

“You want dat pizza? Is good...”

“I WANT YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT POST!”

“What post?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT POST!”

“No I doesn’t. Look sir, if you doesn’t want a pizza, don’t call here kay’? Cause’ dis be the pizza pace.”

BEEP!

Papyrus hung up.

“I think he bought it big Buther...”

“...why?”

BE-CUN!

“PAPYRUS GET THAT GODDAMN POST OFF THE UNDERNET!!!” screamed Gaster from the intercom.

“uh. oh! heh heh heh!”

“Uh oh Snas!”

“what are you gonna do bro?”

“There’s only one thing to do,” said the baby bones reaching into his toy chest. “I gots to run away.” He pulled out a little plastic Mickey Mouse purse he had found at the Dump and began stuffing it with crayons.

“you’re gonna run away...?”

“Yep, but don’t worry Snas, though fate tears us apart dis day, I’s certain we shall meet again!”

“heh heh ha ha ha! where you gonna go bro? you gonna go live with flowey?”

He’s been gone an awful long time...maybe he’s really NOT coming back...

“No, baby already tried that,” said Papyrus thinking back to last week.

“NO. No no no no, you get the HELL out of here-”

“Hellwoe Dirt-butt! I’s come to visit you! Nyeh heh heh!”

“Did you not hear me? GT...FO.”

“Why you staring at da’ ground Dirt-butt? Didja lose something?”

“YEAH I LOST PEACE AND QUIET! WHAT PART OF ‘LEAVE’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Continuing to ignore the plant, Papyrus crawled around and patted the ground with a smile.

“What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’s doing?”

“Not leaving.”

“I’s looking for the quiet...”

“...”

“I know it be around here somewhere, don’t chu worry. The Gweat Papyrus gonna find it real good-”

“I know you’re not stupid Papyrus,” said Flowey frowning. “You may have everyone ELSE fooled, but I KNOW better-”

“SHHH! You’ll scare away da’ quiet Dirt-butt!”

“Knock it off.”

“What the quiet look like? Is it small? Like, really REALLY small?”

“Yeah it’s small, SMALL LIKE YOUR BR-” the plant stopped short. ”You know what? Forget it,” he said, smiling slyly. “Forget looking for the quiet. We’ll make our OWN quiet, how’s that sound?”

The infant’s eyes immediately lit up. “Ooooh! We doing da’ arts and crafts?”

He loved arts and crafts, but Flowey NEVER joined in with him and Sans. He instead preferred to watch from the air vent whilst occasionally shouting down insults centered around their creations.

Not that it bothered Papyrus per say.

Flowey was obviously just upset that he couldn’t use the glue without getting his petals and/or roots stuck together, which would’ve been sad if he didn’t handle it in such a pathetic manner like all his other problems.

“No, we’re gonna play a game. The QUIET game...”

“Ki-et game...?” Papyrus looked disappointed.

“Yep, the quiet game; it’s where we sit still and make no noise whatsoever. Whoever talks first loses, okay?”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...We’s playing right now?”

“Yeah, isn’t this fun?”

“Yep! I really like sitting around in a field doing nothing like an asshole!”

“YOU CAN LEAVE!”

“No really; doing nothing is a baby’s favorite thing to do, cause’ we doesn’t know how to be pro-duc-tive members of so-ci-et-y...” said Papyrus before lazily rolling onto his back and sticking his foot in his mouth.

“...”

“Also I can’t leave until I beats you in round two, then I’ll be da’ game master!”

Flowey snorted. “You didn’t beat me in round one, so how do you suppose you’re going to do that?” he asked, placing his leaves where his hips would be.

“Easily,” replied the infant. “And I did too beat you. You’s just a sore loser, like always.”

“I AM NOT!”

“Perhaps you should get on baby’s level Dirt-butt?”

“I DIDN’T LOSE! All i did was tell you that the game started and that doesn’t count!”

“Git good scrub flower, nyeh heh heh!”

“Whatever. Even if I DID lose, YOU’RE being a sore winner!” said Flowey turning away.

This made Papyrus sit up and scratch his skull in confusion. “...Dat don’t make sense dough. How can baby be sore if baby won? You’s making stuff up-”

“NO I’M NOT!”

“You wants an apo-lo-gy?”

“YES!!”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...”

“...Well?”

“I’m sorry you suck.”

“GET OUT OF MY FIELD!!”

“...And dat’s what happened.”

“what?”

“What?”

RING RING!

“...You want some pizza Snas?”

“go take down that post,” said Sans turning off his phone.

“If I takes it down will you pay wit me?”

“uhh...” he looked at his book and then back at Papyrus. He was in the middle of it, nowhere near the end, but he doubted he’d get much studying done if Gaster managed to convince the guards to step aside.

Dad and Pap will be at each other’s throats all day if the guards leave, and dogs don’t have the greatest attention span to begin with...

“uhhh, yeah sure, i suppose i could spend some time with ya’ if you want...depends on what we’re playing though.”

I’m not playing Hide and Seek with this cheater again, THAT’S for sure. Last time he used the security cameras to find me, the little brat.

“We pay House!”

“heh heh heh, house huh? and lemme guess, you wanna be the baby right?”

Papyrus ignored him and crawled back to his toy box shifting loudly through the multitude of broken toys.

“whatcha’ looking for baby bro?”

“Nyeh heh heh!” the infant laughed happily as he raised a fairly large stick in the air triumphantly, his brother watching him in confusion.

Why does he have a stick in his toy box?

CLACK CLACK CLACK!

Hobbling around on the stick, Papyrus grabbed a clipboard with one tiny hand and looked at it disapprovingly. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. Dis be all wrong. Don’t chu know anything besides food? You went to doctor school didn’t you? Sometimes I thinks you’s just here to clean out da’ vending machines...”

“wh-what?”

“Where da’ patient at? You didn’t eat them did you? You know we need those things for monies-”

“what the hell is your problem?”

“Well I gots a whale in my staff room, so PETA’s bound to give me a call sooner or later, other than that though it’s just my leg...oh, and the fact that you suck at yo’ job.”

“your...leg hurts...?”

What?

“The patient OB-VI-OUS-LY gots da’ heatstroke, so we needs to put them in the feezer or they no get better. I doesn’t know why you thought it be a good idea to put em’ in a hospital bed.”

“put em’ in the freezer huh? heh, iii don’t think that’s a good idea lil’ bro.”

“I stopped paying you to think when I re-ah-lized you’s bad at it. Now you follow orders. INTO DA’ FEEZER!” exclaimed the baby pointing to the ceiling dramatically. He then dropped the clipboard and plopped down on the floor, waiting for his older brother to respond.

“okayyy...?”

Papyrus stared right through him and waited silently; a smile plastered on his face. Apparently he had no intention of giving Sans any more instruction, despite never mentioning where, or more importantly, who the patient was supposed to be.

Am I supposed to go find one of his dolls or something?

Knowing his brother, that probably wasn’t the case, but Sans went to the toy box anyway in hopes that the baby Horror would be as happy with a non-living patient as he would a live one.

He was immediately stopped in his tracks.

“Where you going Dr. Snas? We gots to save the patient or they’s gonna die! Leave the toys alone, those be for sick babies...”

“where do i go then pap? where’s the sick guy?”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked around. “*GASP!* SNAS!”

“what?”

“THE PATIENT’S ASCAPED!”

“they escaped huh? and why would anyone wanna escape a hospital? that’s where people get healthy bro!”

“They must be hippies Snas!”

“really pap?”

“Quick! We gots to catch em’ before they go online and convince peoples to use natural home re-me-dies and herbs instead of medicines!”

“herbs ARE medicine.”

“...”

“...what?”

“You’s fired.”

“i’m fired...?”

“You’s fired. I can’t and won’t have druggies working under my stupervision. No wonder you’s bad at yo’ job!”

“i’m not a hippie, and that’s very offensive.”

“I doesn’t wanna hear your excuses. Have your desk cweened out by dis afternoon,” said Papyrus. He crawled away, exiting the lab door that led to Waterfall, and leaving his older sibling alone. He was sad that he couldn’t have Sans be his employee anymore, but at least Undyne had gotten home from daycare by now; he could play House with her. She wasn’t very smart, but at least she wasn’t a drug user...

His brother could be REALLY disappointing sometimes.

“psh, whatever,” muttered Sans picking up his book. “i didn’t wanna play with you any-”

Wait a minute.

“PAPYRUS TAKE DOWN THAT POST!!”

“NYEH!”

PUMP!

Papyrus kicked the glass door to the lab with his foot and continued on angrily.

Go munch a tree, hippie baby.

The artist contacted me before making the image, so I know who they are this time. The artist’s name is Rammorn, also known as Passing_Note on AO3.

[takemedancingmaine]

25

My alarm goes off and I feel as if I’m waking up from death. I don’t know why I feel so tired. Which causes very different alarms to go off in my own head, but I push them aside just like I push aside my comforter and force myself out of bed.

I've got a date tonight.

With that thought, butterflies escape and I quickly move about, picking out a suitable outfit.

It doesn't take long. I'm quite low maintenance. Just a pair of dark wash skinnies, and a sparkly black blouse. I set the outfit out on the bed and it's when I turn that I see it.

I see a note sitting on top of my desk. When I get close enough, I see that it’s a printout from an article called 24 Diagrams to Help You Have Better Sex.

I want to strangle my flatmate. I crumble the pages and throw them in the bin by my desk. When I head toward my door to get into the bathroom to shower I see another note taped to it: it’s another article. The Best Songs to Have Sex To. I pull down the article and crumple it up before placing it in the bin as well.

I open my door and Piper is nowhere to be seen. Meaning she’s in her room hiding because she knows I’ll kill her. As I very well should.

Stepping into the bathroom it only gets worse. Taped to the mirror is an article I don’t even feel comfortable reading the title to. And when I open the shower curtain to turn the water on there’s another. Just the headline for it makes me blush violently and I take both articles and run them under the water before throwing the wet filth into the bin beside the toilet.

I bang against the wall connecting the bathroom and Piper’s room.

“When I get out I’m going to murder you,” I yell. “Best get your affairs in order now, before it’s too late!” The laughter I hear in response to my threat only reinforces the urge to maim.

I roll my shoulders back and step under the stream of water, steam already filling the small room around me, not relaxing my mind, but relaxing my body, at least.

I try to push the nerves from my head as I comb my hair and braid it into two French braids--once they dry a bit I'll pull them out. Then I set about doing my makeup. Nothing extravagant, but I do put a little extra effort in, meaning my eyebrows are actually even for once and my eyeshadow doesn't look like a child used a crayon and scribbled it over my eyelids.

Wrapped in my fluffy robe I head to my room, but before I get there I catch Piper filling the kettle in the kitchen. She freezes at the sight of me and I glare.

“Have you written your will, yet?” I ask.

Unapologetically, she laughs. “I thought they were funny! And helpful! Did you even read them? I chose only the best, most informative articles for my best mate.”

I close my eyes and take a breath before looking back over at her.

“You’re an actual menace,” I groan. “And you're just weird.”

“I am weird, I will grant you that,” she nods and takes out a second mug for me to have some tea. “However, menace seems a little harsh.”

I just glare.

Piper holds up her hands in surrender before smiling. “I mean, who else would you trust to tell you truthfully that your makeup is on point tonight and that the outfit you picked out is hella cute for a date such as this?”

I don't say anything. I continue to glare. Of course, she would sneak into my room to check the outfit. That's just my best friend for you.

“I love you but sometimes I just really want to punch you so hard in the face,” I fight the urge to grind my teeth and instead just settle for clenching my jaw.

“I’m just having a spot of fun,” she smiles. “Yes, you’ve been on dates and yeah, I know you pulled quite a bit in uni, but this is different. I just want to milk it for all it’s worth,” she shrugs. “You’re so nervous and excited and it’s making me so happy. I do stupid things when you’re happy. I like to keep you happy.”

“This doesn’t keep me happy,” I hate that my frosty exterior is slipping.

“It will later on,” she winks and my anger returns a bit. I turn to my room. “I’m kidding, we’ll laugh about this years from now. Hopefully sooner than that.”

“You’re a twat,” I call.

“I'll have a brew ready for you when you're done,” she calls sweetly. I just flick her off and slam my door behind myself.

I glance at my phone to check the time. It's six fifteen now. It takes twenty minutes to get to his flat. Giving myself five minutes extra just in case, I realize I've got twenty minutes before I have to be out the door. My stomach feels like it's going to revolt. I can do this. I think.

I slip my jeans on and pull my top over my head before I put on my dainty, silver bee necklace and put on some perfume. And then I remember I hadn't thought about shoes. I begin to dig through my closet with worry. Chelsea boots? Maybe. Converse? No. Heels? Oh, no.

The worry over such a small detail is beginning to creep in and hold me in a vice grip, despite my willing it not to. Just when I feel myself sinking into a panic, the worry settling into my stomach as if it was invited to a party, I spot my loafers sticking out from the back of my closet. They're perfect. And my tense muscles only slightly relax as I slide them on.

I stick my phone in my back pocket and head to the kitchen where Piper is sitting on the countertop, a brew in her hand and a brew beside her, waiting for me.

I'm still cross with her, but the brew calms me the second the mug is in my hand, and the familiar taste grounds me. I can do this, I tell myself.

“You look fucking great,” Piper tells me as I down half my brew in two gulps.

I look down at myself and nod. “Thanks.” My voice is quiet, and not even I believe it.

“M’serious,” she nudges me a bit. “You're beautiful, love.”

I nod again and chug a bit more tea. Looking up I notice the time. “I've gotta go,” I manage to squeak out. I place the mug down and move toward the door where I pull my coat on and button it up.

“Check the food for drugs,” Piper calls out as I grab my wallet and keys from the peg they're on. “Make good choices!” She shouts as I close the door behind myself.

I want to kill her, but she's the best friend I've got. And I would miss her. Plus, I don’t think I’m cut out for jail. Let’s face it,  I’d inevitably get caught. I’m clever, but not that clever. I’ve watched those Netflix shows about making a murderer and I’m not even close to cut out for that lifestyle.

The tube ride goes by quickly, but the whole way I have to force myself to take deep breaths and repeat a little mindfulness mantra I’d learned in therapy years ago. I never used it in practice, but my nerves are clutching at straws, so here I am, pulling out techniques I learned what seems like a lifetime ago.

“Air above me, earth below me, fire within me, water surround me,” I whisper over and over to myself the on the carriage, and even while I ride the escalators. It feels stupid that I’m relying on a phrase. I’ve never done it before, but oddly, despite my embarrassment, it’s helping in some small way.

When I step back onto the street only two blocks away from Jack’s flat I pull my slightly damp hair from the braids and run my fingers through the tresses so that they're wavy but not kinky.

It's when I'm one block away that my breath feels harder to come by and in my head, I repeat the mantra.

It's when I'm two buildings down that I feel like I've developed an ulcer. The mantra has ceased helping.

It's in his front step that I begin to argue with myself. I stand there for what has to be five minutes just debating the pros and cons of ringing his buzzer before I remember the feeling of his arm around me just their morning, the feeling is his lips against my cheek, the inexplicable draw I feel toward him.

I ring the buzzer.

“‘lo?”

“It's me,” I cringe. “It's Wren,” I amend.

“I'm on the third floor. Come right up,” he tells me and then the buzz goes off telling me the front door is unlocked. I push past the nerves and step inside the little entryway.

It's not confidence I'm feeling a surge of. Rather, it's just this feeling that this is right because it's what I want that courses through me and pushes me up the flights of stairs.

When I step up off the last stair and make my way toward his door though, my feet falter for just a brief second.

I feel like nauseous. I feel like I'm hot and sweaty and cold at the same time. I feel like I'm breathing too heavily and like I can't get any oxygen. I feel like I'm going to pass out.

I reach forward and knock on his front door anyway.

26

In the few seconds between when I knock and when the door opens, revealing Jack on the other side I actually am worried I’ll pass out. Then I see that smirk of his and think I might pass out for entirely different reasons.

His dimples are flashing, but what I notice first is that he’s done his hair up. It looks perfectly fluffy and disarrayed and I’m tempted to run my fingers through it. I don’t, but I’m tempted. My chest feels heavy as I recognize in my brain that he’s put an effort in for me.

I quickly take in the rest of him. He looks quite fit. He’s in his black jeans--how many pairs of black jeans does this man own?--and a striped jumper, the sleeves of which are pushed up to his elbows. It looks really good, the jumper. An image flashes in my mind of me picking that jumper up off the floor one morning, popping it over myself, and making tea for both of us. I fight a blush, but not because I’m nervous.

He gestures for me to step inside and I start unbuttoning my coat as I step past him into the flat. Books are scattered everywhere, which is no surprise. What is though, is how light the space is, how open and inviting it is. What continues my surprise is how tastefully decorated it is. The throw pillows on the couch are patterned, mismatching the throw blanket that’s strewn across the back of the chair, but working together. The light carpet on top of the dark hardwood flooring is patterned with diamonds.

What ties the whole space together is the art on the walls. There are a few smaller paintings framed throughout the room, one is an antique looking world map, another looks like an album cover of Bruce Springsteen’s that’s been framed, but those aren’t what draws my eye the most. There’s a giant framed scene that takes up the majority of the wall space behind the couch.

I step closer, my shins almost hitting the couch as I lean in to look at the detail. It’s incredible.

“Is this-”

“Scotland,” he nods from beside me, where he’d stepped up to without my noticing until now.

“It’s beautiful,” my eyes drag across each inch of the painting.

“I’ll tell my mum you think so,” he smiles. My head whips to face him so quickly I’m almost worried I smacked him with my hair, but his amused look tells me not to fret. He’s enjoying this.

“Your mum?” My eyes widen as they take him in.

He nods. “She likes to paint. It’s a hobby she picked up when she retired a few years ago.” He points toward the painting, nodding his head toward it as well, “That was done from a photograph I took while we were on a trip to Glen Coe.”

I glance back at the painting, “It’s stunning,” I tell him.

I can feel his eyes on me, my skin electric under his gaze when he responds. “It is.”

I shiver and face him again, his blue gaze still intent on me, his lips pulling up a bit into a smirk and I feel the air leave my lungs, my mouth going dry.

He takes a step back and ushers me toward his kitchen with a flourish of his arms that has me grinning.

Just like the rest of the flat, the kitchen is bright and overflowing with books--cookbooks this time. It's small, it's a little galley kitchen that's got a slanted roof. It's really cute though, with the fun tile flooring and the small framed poster that reads don't be afraid to take whisks. So he's a fan of puns, then. I'm entirely okay with that.

I’m hit with a wall of aroma: tomato sauce.

“Now, you said anything,” he flashes a look at me--is he nervous?--before he goes over and stirs the mixture on the stove top. “It’s nothing too special,” he says, “it’s just a fancy, spicy pasta sauce with noodles.”

I don’t know what makes me do it, but as I walk up beside him, I place my arm around his waist and lean into him a bit. I feel him stiffen before he relaxes again, his breath steady as he looks down at me, an amused look on his face.

“Sounds perfect,” I tell him, my blush creeping into my cheeks.

“It’s got to simmer for a little bit longer,” he tells me, wrapping his own arm around my shoulder, pulling me even closer to his side.

“What are we going to do until then?” I look up at him.

His eyes are glinting with mischief and I'm not sure whether I'm excited or worried.

“I've got an idea in mind,” He guides me back toward his living room and where he untangles himself from me and goes over to a shelf.

“Scrabble?” I ask with my eyes lighting up, the excitement lacing my tone.

“I have to warn you,” he sets the box down on the coffee table before taking a seat on the floor. I follow, sitting down adjacent to him on the plush carpet.

“Mmm?” I hum, looking up from watching him set the game out and meet his face.

“I'm quite good at this game.”

“That makes two of us,” I smirk as we start divvying up tiles.

“I cannae believe you just got 26 points for the word bum,” Jack shakes his head at me as he writes down my new score.

“You just got a triple word score of 48 for the word dazed,” I point out, slightly competitive at the moment.

I'm a bit flustered. I've never played someone who's put a tile down between three words and had it work. I've done it but never has someone I've played. Jack was not kidding when he said he was good.

He laughs. “Fair,” he nods and places down his next set of letters, tallying his score on the sheet.

“How are you so good at this?” I ask, trying not to let any of my frustration out. “Even Liam is trash at Scrabble. And he went to more schooling than I did.”

“The art of reading was not lost on me,” he gestures toward his books, his lips upturned into a smirk. I roll my eyes.

“You know you're only winning because you didn't want to count défendra,” I nudge his leg with my foot and he gives me a look, a hard look, but his eyes are bright and full of laughter.

“You can't switch languages in the middle of the game,” he tells me. “We either play in English or we play in French, but not both.”

“You're such a stickler,” I nudge him again and he narrows his eyes, placing his hand on my calf and holding me back from doing more taunting.

“Or you're just a cheater,” he squeezes my leg and makes another serious face, but I see his lips twitching from the smile he's trying to hold back.

I roll my eyes and set down a new word mumbling about how he's no fun. He squeezes my leg again for that one and I bite my lip at the electric shock that goes through me. My blush rises in my cheeks.

As Jack writes down my new score an alarm goes off in the kitchen. Quickly, he hops up to full height.

“I know what the board looks like,” he calls over his shoulder as he steps into the kitchen. “And don't even think about switching out any of your tiles, cheater!”

“I don't cheat,” my laughter spills out from my mouth as I stand to follow him.

“I beg to differ,” he gives me an amused look before checking on the pasta. It must be ready because he turns the burners off and pours the noodles into the strainer.

“Anything I can do to help?” I ask while watching him fuss about.

He shakes his head. “Not much left, really,” he says. “There’s wine and beer in the fridge, though. Take whatever you’d like to drink.”

I know it’s supposed to go well with pasta, but I’ve never in my life been a fan of wine, so I grab a bottle of Stella instead. When he sees my choice, Jack laughs and shakes his head. “Would you mind grabbing the pinot for me?” he asks.

I grab the bottle of wine and raise my eyebrows at him as I look back up. “What?” he asks and I just continue to stare, the amused expression on my face. “I’m cultured,” he defends himself. “I’m Scottish, but I’m not barbarian.”

I laugh at that, my face flushing red while I open the bottle and he hands me a wine glass and a bottle opener for my Stella.

“So you must think that I’m a barbarian then,” I sip my beer before moving to pour his glass of wine. The scent enough to make me scrunch my nose. My tone may have been a little short, but my face shows my barely held back laughter as he fills two bowls with food. He looks up with worry, but it slides off his face when his eyes meet mine.

“I mean, you kind of are,” he shrugs, his lips upturned as he nods toward the table. I follow him, placing down his glass after he puts our bowls down and suddenly I realize that I haven’t eaten much today. I had porridge after my run and I’d split a bag of popcorn with Liam earlier, but when I got home I’d just gone straight to my bed. Another alarm bell dings in the back of my consciousness and just like the ones before I ignore it.

“I hope you like it,” he’s nervous. I can see it in his shoulders as he leans forward over his own food, taking a bite.

It’s fantastic. When I tell him this I’m rewarded with his blush. For once, it’s not me my cheeks that are tinged red and the sight is perfect.

27

“Thanks for coming,” Liam is waiting for me at the front door. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to reach for the keypad when the door had opened for me and illuminated his distraught face under the front light.

“What happened?” I ask as he ushers me inside and begins to lead me up the stairs.

“He just started screaming after dinner and I thought I got him to calm down for a bit. I gave him his bath and he was alright until I tried to put him to bed,” Liam runs his hand through his hair and I see just how sunken in his eyes are in his face. My heartstrings are pulled tight at the sight.  

“What set him off?” I ask gently as we stop outside of Charlie’s bedroom where I can hear his sobbing.

“One guess,” Liam shakes his head and his voice breaks and I let my breath out in a whoosh at the sound. There’s so much I wish I could do for my brother and put his family back together is the top of the list.

Quickly, I pull him into me and wrap my arms around his shoulders, leaning my head against his chest as I try and use my strength to hold him together as much as I can.

“Right,” I nod and stepping away I wipe my own tears away before they can fall. “D’you want to come in or would you rather go get a warm shower and calm yourself down?”

“D’you mind?” he asks, hiding his face from me as he looks down at the floor.

D’you mind? He’d asked me that before when he called and asked if I could help him with Charlie who was having a full-blown strop and wouldn’t listen to him. I hadn’t hesitated then, and I’m not hesitating now.

“Go,” I nod toward his room and the moment the word slips past my lips he’s gone off toward his room, the door shutting behind him.

Taking a deep breath I close my eyes for a moment to regain myself and then push through to Charlie’s room. His night light beside his bed illuminating his tiny form as he unabashedly sobs into his pillow.

He’d asked for his mum a few times late at night, and of course, he cried when she was first gone, but this is something else. He’d never pitched a fit with Liam about it. He’d never cried like this.

I step up to his bed and kneel down on the floor. “Charlie,” I call him gently, not wanting to startle him. This is new territory for all three of us.

“I miss her,” he sobs not lifting his head up from the pillow. I reach up and try to take the pillow from him.

“Charlie,” I rub his back with my other hand. “Love, I need you to look at me okay?” He shakes his head and grips tighter to the pillow. “Charlie, you’re going to make yourself sick. Please look at me.”

His cries don’t stop, but his grip on the pillow slackens enough from me to pull it away and lift his chin up. He’s beginning to hiccup through his sobs and through my sadness the worry about his well-being slips into the front of my mind.

My nephew is my godchild. Liam doesn’t really care for religion, but the legality of appointing me as such was something he was all for. He trusts me with his son should something happen to him, and I think of that as I slip my arms around him and lift him up, with me as I stand.

“C’mon, love,” I hold him tightly to my chest as I carry us to the bathroom, flicking on the light with my elbow, the brightness blinding both of us momentarily.

“I just want mummy,” he cries as I settle him down on the countertop. He covers his face with his hands as I start the faucet until the water runs warm and then I run a washcloth under it. “Daddy doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand and I hate him.”

I studied literature and journalism and I know a lot of words. Still, I don’t know how to correctly describe just how cold my blood turns when I hear those words slip past Charlie’s lips. If only this little boy could understand just how much his dad cares for him, just how broken he is himself.

I think of Liam alone in his bedroom right now, sobbing into the stream coming from the shower head. Washing the pain of the evening away until it becomes the dull ache he’s managed to live with for six months now.

Instead of taking business meetings during lunch, or actually eating lunch, my brother picks his son up from school every day and manages to feed him and get him down for a nap before rushing off to work again. Charlie may not see the love in his eyes or understand it, but my big stupid brother would do anything for his little boy. Sometimes he loses his way, I’ll admit, but it’s not on purpose, and that counts for something.

“I miss her so much, Aunt Wren,” he grips my blouse and tries to pull me to him. “I miss my mummy. I just want her back.”

I manage my breath, forcing it in and out in steady succession,  and I squeeze the excess water from the washcloth before I tilt Charlie’s face up to mine.

“Charlie…” I coo as I begin to blot his face. “Charlie, love. I’m so sorry,” I tell him as I wipe his hair back and rinse his forehead. “Love, I need you to stop crying. Can you do that for me? Can you stop crying before you make yourself sick?”

He sputters but tries to hold his breath to stop his sobs. I let out a laugh, maybe a bit of a sob, at the sight. “Good lad,” I nod and he keeps trying to hold himself together. “That’s it,” I nod and rub his shoulder with my free hand as the other runs the washcloth under the faucet again.

“It’s not the same without her,” he tells me, his voice hoarse and his eyes red and puffy. He holds his breath again and I give him a teary-eyed smile for his attempts.

“I know it’s not, love,” I squeeze out the washcloth and pick Charlie up. “I know it’s not,” I whisper as I  carry him back to his bedroom. He clings to me, desperate, as I place him down gently under his covers and slip in beside him.

I blot his face again and bring his stuffed turtle closer to us and immediately he cradles the animal to his chest as he struggles to calm himself down, the hiccuping is slowing down though which is a good sign.

I place the washcloth on the night table and pull Charlie close to my side. It’s then that I realize I’m still wearing my coat.

“Want to tell me what happened?” I ask him gently.

“Daddy and I were doing the dishes after dinner and that song that mummy used to sing along to came on,” he sniffles again but I start rubbing his back in circles to keep him calm. The song was Linger by the Cranberries. April loved Delores’ voice and would try to imitate it whenever the song came on. She’d try to even when the song wasn’t on. It was played at Liam and April’s wedding. My chest tightens again at the thought.

“What happened then, Charlie?” I’m so afraid to set him off again. He’s responding to me, which is better than he’d done for Liam. From what I’d gathered on the phone, Charlie had stuck his fingers in his ears and screamed at Liam only stopping once Liam left him alone in his room.

“I asked daddy to change it because it hurt too much, but he said he liked it and he left it on and then I got really angry,” he says. There’s a long pause before he adds, “I said some mean things.”

I nod. “You did,” I tell him.

“I just got so angry,” he starts to work himself up again and then I remember.

“Charlie,” I reach into my pocket. “If you promise to apologize to your daddy for yelling at him, I can give you a chocolate biscuit.”

“What?” he asks.

I pull out the four biscuits, wrapped in a napkin, and show my nephew, whose eyes light up.

“I’m not allowed sweets in my bedroom,” Charlie says, but he’s reaching out for a biscuit anyway. “And I don’t want to apologize to daddy. He was wrong.” I pull my hand and the biscuits back away from him with a sigh.

“Are you going to listen to me properly now, bug?” I ask.

He nods, his forehead crinkled as he looks up at me.

“We all remember people in different ways after they leave us,” I implore. “Your daddy wanted to listen to the song because it reminded him of all the good that your mummy brought to you and to him.” Their faces at their wedding as they danced together to the song flashes in my mind. “He wanted to hold on to that feeling that she was there, and that’s his way,” I hand him half of a biscuit. “You may not be ready yet, to listen to the song, to remember her like he is, in his way. You have your own way, but you shouldn’t get mad at him. He’s sad too,” I whisper that last part.

“I don’t understand…” Charlie whispers back, his hand latching onto the biscuit, but he’s not yet eating it. Instead, his eyes are still focused on me.

“Your daddy is trying to hold onto your mummy by keeping things she loved close to him,” I continue in my whisper. “He still listens to the music she loved, and still uses the same shampoo she’d buy. He even still buys the very expensive milk because it was the brand your mummy liked best,” I ruffle his hair a bit. Liam used to grumble to me about how much money he could save if April wasn’t lactose intolerant. I haven’t said anything, but he still buys the lactose-free milk. Whether it’s habit or deliberate, he still does it.

“He may not talk about her, and he may try to hide it from you, but he still holds onto her. Still misses her just as much as you. It’s just different to how you miss her.”

“Is he really upset with me?” Charlie asks, his tone worried. He does love his daddy. He doesn’t hate him. My heart is stuck in a constant ache.

“Your daddy isn’t upset with you,” I shake my head. “He’s upset that you’re upset, and he’s worried you don’t like him, but he’s absolutely not upset with you.”

“I should go apologize,” Charlie makes to climb over me and I hold him back, thinking of Liam, who’s probably still broken down in the other room.

“I think daddy’s sleeping,” I lie. I know he’s not. I know he’s going to be lying in bed in agony. If he’s not still in the shower. I know because it’s how I deal with things. Liam may not have depression like me, but we deal with our sadness the same way. “How about,” I propose, “we just eat our biscuits now and we can apologize to your daddy in the morning when everyone’s all calmed down?”

He nods gently, shoving the half he has hold of into his mouth. “These are really yummy,” he says and I take the night off from chastising him for speaking with food in his mouth. “Did you and Piper make these?” He asks.

I shake my head and hand him the other biscuit and a half that he’s due before eating my own two. “A friend of mine did,” I say.

[taejinpurple-blog]

ARTISTIC BEAUTY OF LOVE- CHAPTER 8

Fluffy Romantic Story about two guys who became friends and blossomed into something more.

*Mature Scenes later on.*

Trigger Warning: Speaks about sexual abuse in later chapters.

I did my best with editing. Sorry in advance if there are any mistakes. But I really tried to make sure there were not many. Please enjoy

Previous Chapter: https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172522404705/artistic-beauty-of-love-chapter-7

Ken sat with Sandeul, Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jin, and Tae in the cafeteria. He looked at Jin and Tae who were sharing a plate of fries.

“You two seem closer, how was Thanksgiving?” he asked.

Tae smiled. “Jin Hyung took me to visit his family when I didn’t go home and I became Jin Hyung’s dongsaeng.” He smiled proudly as Jin shoved fries in his mouth trying to ignore his cheeks warming up.

“Hey Namjoon, Yoonki and I known you longer and you never called us your dongsaengs.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, you guys are my dongsaengs as well.”

Tae looked at him before looking down, he looked back at Jin when he put his hand on his shoulder.

“Taehyung is just my number one dongsaeng, that’s all.”

A big smile spread across Taehyung’s face as his cheeks warmed up.

“I’m surprised you didn’t bring Miyeon to your house for Thanksgiving.” Sandeul said eating some of their fries.

“Well for Christmas, I’m going to her parents’ house and Taehyung is going home this time right?” He peered down at the younger male, who smiled and nodded.

“Affirmative.”

Miyeon walked over to them while smiling.

“Good morning everyone.”

“Good morning.” The others greeted staring at her. Taehyung smiled at her.

“Morning Miyeon Noona, how was your Thanksgiving vacation?” He moved over so she could sit next to Jin.

“Oh Taehyung, you don’t have to move for me.”

“It’s not a problem.”

She looked at Jin and he kissed the back of her hand making the others let out an aw. He glared at them as they laughed. Miyeon’s cheeks turned a soft pink.

“We’ll leave you kids alone to spend some time together,” Ken said cleaning up his mess.

“Behave you two.” Sandeul winked. They walked away and Miyeon glanced at Taehyung who quickly stood up.

“Sorry, I don’t have an excuse for anywhere to go but I won’t disturb you guys.” He gathered his stuff.

“You don’t have to go if you have nowhere else to go,” Jin said sliding the plate of fries to him.

“Yeah Taehyung, you can stay.” Miyeon smiled.

“Thanks but I’m gonna find Kookie. I’ll see you guys later.” He took the plate of fries and walked out the cafeteria.

Jin turned to Miyeon as she ran her hand through her raven black hair. “How was your stay with your family?”

“It was nice to be home after so long. How about you?”

“My niece and nephew ran me down to the ground. I really don’t know how to handle them.” He showed her a picture and she gasped.

“They are so cute! See they held still perfectly!” She looked at him giving his phone back.

“That’s because of Taehyung. I don’t know how he did it but he got them to sit. They totally loved him, he played with them from sun up to sun down. He truly is a kid at heart.”

“Taehyung? He went with you to your family’s house?”

“Yeah, he didn’t go home for the break so I couldn’t leave him alone with no food so I just brought him with me.”

She gave a small smile and nodded. “I hope I get to meet your family soon.”

“Don’t worry you will.” He glanced around and saw no one was looking and he kissed her forehead.

 ~~~~*~~~~

 Tae saw Jungkook walking towards the art room and he ran towards him.

“Kookie!”

He turned around and smiled when he saw Tae. “Hey TaeTae!”

Tae threw his arm around his neck when he reached him.  

“How are you?” Jungkook asked.

“I’m good and you?”

They stood outside the art room and Jungkook sighed.

“I’m fine, just a bit homesick. Dorm life is ok but not always comfortable.”

“I wish you could live at my grandpa’s house with me and be my roommate.”

“I wish I could too but my dad is already giving me shit for liking men, he’d hit the roof if he knew I was living in a house full of older guys.” He looked down.

Tae rolled his eyes. “It’s stupid that people still have a problem with it.”

Jungkook shrugged. “What can we do about ignorance?”

“True.”

“I was thinking, you haven’t found a guy here that’s caught your attention? There’s a lot of good-looking guys here.”

“I’ve seen a lot of handsome guys, but I don’t date. I want to focus on my art.”

“Understandable, did you date in high school?”

Tae sighed pushing his glasses up.

“I did, at the end of tenth to the end of eleventh, but I broke up with him that summer into the twelfth grade.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

“No …he was really a sweet guy. He was fun, caring and loving …” he trailed off.

Jungkook tilted his head when a sad expression on Tae’s face. He decided to leave the subject alone, it was obviously something sensitive.

He smiled and smacked Tae’s back almost knocking his glasses off.

“Cheer up! You’re in college with an array of hotties to pick from.”

Tae laughed. “When the time is right.”

“Yes when the time is right, two hot guys are gonna come to us and ask us to marry them and we’ll have a double wedding.”

Tae laughed out. “Only if I get a purple tux with frills on them.”

“Oh god!”

They ignored the other students passing them by as they laughed out in hysteria.

~~~~*~~~~

 That weekend Tae sat outside drawing a blue jay he saw perched on a branch, but it suddenly flew away. He sighed clutching his sketchpad.

“Where did it go?” He ran in the direction it flew off. He looked around until the smell of food hit his nose.

He followed the scent and saw a carnival, he saw a cotton candy stand almost like a small child he ran over to it.

“Can I you help?” The vendor asked.

“Is this free?”

“No.”

“Oh, sorry I have no money.”

The vendor nodded and went to the next person. He sighed and walked away.

Jin and Miyeon held hands while walking through the carnival.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to bring you here as a date but there was nothing else interesting happening.”

“That’s okay, I love carnivals. Even though this one seems a bit raggedy, the ones in Gangnam are the best.”

“Yeah, my parents went to the carnivals there every year. It would be funny if we’ve seen each other there before.”

“That’s true.” She giggled.

“I was still surprised to see them having a carnival this time of year but I heard it’s to raise money for some group home. Are your hands cold?” he asked looking down at her red gloves. She smiled shaking her head no.

“No. they’re fine. I just love holding hands with you.”

Seeing her cheeks turn red made his cheeks heat up and he cleared his throat.

“Same here.”

“Can we ride the Ferris Wheel?”

“Sure.”

They made their way to the Ferris Wheel line. Miyeon turned to Jin before tilting her head.

“Is that Taehyung?”

He whipped his head in the direction she was looking in. His eyes widened when he saw him getting yelled at by a vendor. He smacked his forehead when he saw he had no coat, hat or gloves on.

“This babo! What is he trying to do get sick? Taehyung!” He called out.

Tae turned around looking around, his eyes landed on Jin and he ran over to them.

“Hey Hyung, hey Noona …are you guys on a date?”

“Yeah. But more importantly, where’s your coat?!” He yelled making the younger male wince.

“I didn’t mean to come here. I was in the patio drawing a picture of a blue jay but then it flew away so I started to follow it and before I knew it I ended here.”

“Taehyung …”

“But Hyung, none of these food vendors are free!

“Of course, they’re not.” Tae’s stomach growled. “Doesn’t your mother send you a monthly allowance? What happened to it?”

“I needed wax crayons, oil paint, an easel and paint brushes.”

“You spent all your money on art supplies?!”

“No, I gave a homeless man ten dollars on my home from school yesterday.”

Miyeon’s eyes widened. Jin wasn’t surprised, to hear this, Tae was one of the most selfless people he had ever met.

“Here take my coat and go home and get some food. I made dinner last night so there should be leftovers. I put your name on the container, so the others didn’t eat it.” He took his coat off placing it on Tae’s shoulders who were smaller. He readjusted the coat that was heavy and bigger than his frame.

“What about you?”

“I’m wearing layers so I’ll be fine.”

“Thank you Hyung, you two enjoy the rest of your date.” He began walking away.

“Taehyung!” He turned around looking at Jin. “Home is that way.” He pointed the other way.

“Ah, I forgot.” He went to walk past Jin but he grabbed the back of his coat pulling Tae to him.

“Yah, I just realized, you don’t know how to get home? That’s why you didn’t go straight home by now.”

Tae’s face turned beet red and he bowed his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t feel bad Taehyung.” Miyeon patted his back.

“You should have GPS on your phone.”

“I never set it up.”

Jin slapped his forehead and sighed. “I’ll do it for you later. Just stay here.”

“But I don’t wanna third wheel on your date.”

“I rather you here with us then to be lost somewhere out there.” He rubbed Tae’s head as he nodded looking down.

Miyeon looked at them and smiled softly.

“Do you wanna ride on the Ferris Wheel with us?” she asked.

“Can I Noona? I love Ferris Wheels!”

“Of course.” She giggled.

 ~~~~*~~~~

 Jin walked Miyeon back to her dorm.

“Sorry, maybe next time we’ll have a complete date.”

She shook her head. “It’s totally fine. Just make sure you two get home safely. Is he heavy?” She looked at Tae who was on Jin’s back and had fallen asleep.

“No, he’s a lot lighter than he looks.”

Miyeon pecked his lips. “Call me later.”

“I will.” He began walking.

“Oh, Jin.” He looked at her. “I love you.”

His eyes widened for a moment and he cleared his throat smiling. “I love you too.”  He turned around and walked away.

She smiled and went into her dorm room. Her roommate looked at her.

“Hey Miyeo, how was your date?”

Miyeon took her coat off and sighed deeply.

“Not bad but not great.” She plopped on her bed.

“Lemme guess …Taehyung?”

“Yep. Do you know he ended up getting lost and found the carnival? Of course, Jin gets all worried about him and makes him stay with us. I think it’s nice that Jin is helping him, but do you know he took Taehyung to meet his family for Thanksgiving? He’s a nice guy but it’s so weird how he clings to Jin.”

“Do you think he’s gay and has feelings for Jin?”

“That’s disgusting! And obviously, Jin isn’t into men and if he was. He wouldn’t go for Taehyung, he’s gross. He looks like he rolled out of a trashcan sometimes.”

Her roommate laughed out as Miyeon pushed her hair behind her shoulder.

“And to top it off he gave a bum ten dollars! He’s an idiot I swear.”

“You have to get him out of the way. You and Jin come from wealthy families and you don’t need no scandal forming on your relationship just because some sick puppy has gay love for your boyfriend.”

“Exactly. I’ll come up with something.”

~~~~*~~~~

Jin laid Tae on his bed and placed his sketchpad on his nightstand. He turned to him and removed his glasses placing them on top of his sketchpad. Staring at his face, Jin brushed Tae’s bangs to the side exposing his face. He immediately pulled his hand back and left out the room. Once he closed his room door he looked down at his hand that tingled.

Next Chapter: https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172568285160/artistic-beauty-of-love-chapter-9

[the-kings-tail-fin]

Hi! Hope you’re doing well!! Mind if I ask ya to write a short fanfic on if Jackson were to have a son or daughter and what his intentions would be? What would he like his kid to be when he’s he gets older? Does he like the idea of being a father in the first place? Thank you very much!!

Hope YOU’RE doing well, anon! :) I’ve seen various conversations around the fandom discussing what he’d be like as a father, and they’re all quite good. I’ll see what I can do :) I’m gonna skip the infant stage and go straight to him dealing with a young child. I’m assuming the child came out of a one-night stand or a broken relationship, and he just now gets custody every so often.

“I’m so excited to finally get to meet her. I love children just so, so much!”

“Don’t make a scene, Gale. I don’t wanna draw attention.”

They were waiting in the far end of a rest stop parking lot on the side of I-40, waiting for the child’s mother to show up for the switch. Things had changed a lot over the past five years, and the kid had just been the beginning of it all. 

Jackson sighed. He felt responsible for his own mistakes and wanted to make up for them, but at the same time, he still held a little resentment towards his daughter’s mother. They were never together, just young and drunk and stupid. Somehow, something wonderful still came out of that.

“Here they come! Jackson, I see them!” Gale whispered excitedly.

He lifted his eyes and saw them enter the parking lot. Jackson was suddenly very antsy, at a loss for what to say. They’d been swapping custody of her for nearly three months now, why was he so nervous? Was it Gale looming over him? Normally she wasn’t there, maybe that was it. No, he knew himself better than that. 

“Alright, sweetie, here you go! Have fun at daddy’s house, okay?”

The sweetness of the woman’s tone almost made him angry, but he didn’t have any valid rationale as to why. He didn’t hate her. Deep down he knew he was just jealous that Maria was more attached to her mom than she was to him.

“Bye, mama.” she said, grabbing a bag full of things and heading up the ramp to Jackson’s trailer.

“Hey there, Maria.” Jackson moved back to make room for her and closed the ramp without ever making eye contact with the car waving goodbye outside.

“Hi, Daddy.” she said with a small smile. “I made you something!”

“Oh?” he didn’t have to act surprised.

She dug around in her bag and pulled out a slightly folded piece of paper with colored scribbles all over it, and gave it to him. He awkwardly took it and looked at it. He had no idea what it was.

“Do you like it?” she asked, wiggling in anticipation.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I sure do.” he sputtered, laying it down next to him.

“It’s you!” she went on to explain. “You won five trophies in one race!”

That’s not how it works. He thought, knowing better to tell her that to her face. But now he could see it, sort of. That black blob? That was him, he was pretty sure. Those gold and silver sticks? Trophies? This picture looked like a disillusioned Picasso a la crayons.

“It’s great, kid.” he complimented her again. “You’re good at art.”

“I want to be an artist when I grow up.”

“An artist?” 

“Yeah!”

He watched her take more coloring supplies out of her bag and spread them all over the floor of his trailer. Some pages already had marks on them, but she used them anyway. Humming a little tune, she went to work as Gale took them home.

Jackson watched her, but didn’t say anything for the longest time. She was content to just do her thing. He wished he could have a coherent conversation with her, but she was still just so young. He didn’t know how to reach children.

She had his angular fenders and her mother’s eyes. He never would have guessed the combination would make for such a cute kid. She was going to be a heartbreaker one day, he could see it.  Even now, he felt protective of her.

“Uh, why - why do you want to be an artist?” he asked hesitantly.

“’Cause it’s fun!” she exclaimed without ever looking up. “I can draw all day long.”

What did he expect? A thesis on how she thought her art could contribute to the world? He took a deep breath and searched for something else to say.

“So, uh, what do you want to do this week?”

“I dunno.” she shrugged, applying a heavy coat of yellow to the upper left corner of a sheet of paper. 

“We can do something. Together. Whatever you want.” he felt himself getting desperate. She trusted and tolerated him, sure, but did she really want to be around him? In his mind, the jury was still out on that. 

“I’ll think about it.”

Jackson sat quietly for the rest of the short trip home, watching her color away abstractedly. Defeated. By a five year old. Come on, Storm. You can do better. Can’t you?

“We’re home!” Gale said cheerily through the comm as she parked the trailer outside his house.

Maria hurriedly shoved all her things back into her carry bag and turned to face the ramp. As it lowered, she grew ever more excited at the sight of the mansion. It was like going on vacation every time she got to come visit.

“I’m gonna run to the store and get a couple things for dinner, okay? Is there anything you want?” Gale was unhitched and around to the back of the trailer before Maria had even got off the ramp.

“No, thanks.” she answered politely, gazing up at the big, excited black semi.

“You sure?” Jackson asked. “You can have whatever you want.”

“It’s okay, dad. Let’s go inside!” she made a beeline for the door, leaving Jackson momentarily alone with Gale.

“I don’t know about ‘whatever she wants’. Maybe, like, one or two things.” Gale said absentmindedly.

“You don’t have to go to the store for me, Gale. I’ll manage alright. I have the tastebuds of a little kid anyway. She’ll find something she likes.” Jackson’s voice fell a little. Gale could tell he wasn’t excited.

“Hmm.” she observed him for a moment. “Alright. But I’ll be back in the morning! I’m not passing up my chance to play with her.”

Jackson nodded, but said nothing. His daughter was already waiting at the door, staring at him expectantly.

“One more thing, Jackson.” Gale added as she turned to leave. “Don’t try too hard, okay?”

She left before he had a chance to ask her what that meant. He sighed and went to open his front door.

Maria rushed inside and immediately started giggling, driving around in circles, simply enjoying the open foyer. The back side of his house was nothing but windows that overlooked the desert city at the bottom of the mountain. It made the whole place seem so much bigger and freeing, like the whole world was theirs.

He smiled as he watched her drive over and gaze out the window.

“You like the view?”

“Mm-hm. I’m on top of the world!” she exclaimed, pressing her front bumper against the glass.

He chuckled and took a moment to enjoy it with her. He didn’t ever spend much time up here, but it was times like these that made him wish he could.

“Let’s go put your stuff up, and have some fun, alright?” he said, taking her bag from her and leading her to her room.

He’d paid an outrageous amount for a Californian designer to come in and put her room together. This little girl had it all - a canopy bed fit for royalty, a full sized playhouse, custom furniture, toys - you name it, he’d gotten it for her.

“I feel like a princess.” she giggled, remembering how much she loved it all.

“You should. You’re my princess.” he gave her a little tap on the side, sending her into another fit of laughter. 

After she’d calmed down from the excitement of reuniting with the house, Jackson took her back into the living room and turned on some music for background noise, purely out of habit.

“What do you want to do now?” he asked her, looking around. Usually this was where he’d play video games until the wee hours of the morning. She probably wasn’t into that at all. What else did he have to offer?

She thought about it and looked around, but couldn’t help but focus on the beat coming through the surround sound. There weren’t any words to the song, just bass drops and exciting riffs. She started to wiggle to the beat.

“Dance party!” she exclaimed, spinning around and jumping up and down to the rhythm of the song. “Come on, dad!”

“Uh.” he was not expecting that. 

She eagerly looked at him with wide eyes and an ever bigger grin. He glanced around. He didn’t dance for anyone but himself. Never in public, he always reminded himself.

But this wasn’t in public. It was just him and her, and she had apparently inherited his taste in music and impulse to move with it.

“You wanna learn how to dance? Alright, then.”

He turned the music up a little louder and started showing off. She absolutely loved it, screaming and laughing every time he pulled off a complicated move. She’d try to mimic him and completely butcher the movement, but he’d applaud her anyway. The next hour was just her jumping around and him learning to enjoy himself again. It was freeing for the both of them.

She decided when the dance party was over. She was winded and exhausted, but happy. Jackson turned the music back down and took her into the kitchen for a drink, feeling like he’d just been through a workout.

“That was so fun!” she said, taking a large sip of her drink.

“Yeah, it was!” he agreed. “You’re good. Really good.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be good as you!”

Those words shot straight to the center of his soul. They probably shouldn’t have, they were probably meaningless, but they told him that she did look up to him in some regard, even something as insignificant as dancing. It was a step in the right direction for him, and all he’d had to do was not overthink what he was doing. Maybe this was what Gale was getting at…

“Can we watch a movie?” she asked.

“Okay, which one?”

“Be right back!”

She zipped off towards her room while Jackson situated a bunch of pillows in front of his wall-sized television screen. He flipped it on and navigated to the right input while he waited. She came back holding a DVD case.

“This is one of my favorites.” she said, giving it to him.

“Finding Nemo, eh?” he’d heard of it, but never seen it himself. 

He didn’t have anything against family movies, but historically speaking he did have trouble staying awake during them. He’d try his hardest this time.

As the movie started, Maria snuggled up right next to him, intent on the screen in front of her. Jackson situated a few more pillows around them so it was like they were in a big pillow nest. Perfect and cozy and very sleepover-esque. Little girls liked that, right?

What the actual - Two minutes into the movie. Practically a mass murder scene. This is a family movie? What? Jackson was hooked, hesitant if this was actually fit for kids, but hooked. He’d be staying awake for this. It said it was rated G, right?

It got better, more innocent, anyway. Jackson found the movie’s sense of humor surprisingly not an annoyance. Maria’s giggles were a form of entertainment all of their own, and he spent as much time paying attention to her as he did the film. Her presence relaxed him, and for once in his life he felt not in a hurry to do anything but enjoy the moment.

The sun had set by the time the movie was over. Jackson found himself dealing with a strange new emotion. For the first time he actually felt like a father, like a responsible father. Was he getting old? Soft? He wasn’t sure. Maybe Disney had just pulled some sort of magic spell on him where he’d identified with a character too much.

Maria yawned and stretched as Jackson took the DVD out of the player and placed it back in the case. She took it from him and tried to blink the sleepiness away.

“Time for bed?” he asked quietly.

She nodded and yawned again. He accompanied her to her room and watched as she put her things away and crawled up into the bed. He tucked her in, making sure she had everything she needed.

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?” she asked, eyes half closed.

“Of course. You can ask me anything.”

“If I got kidnapped or went missing, you’d come look for me, right? Like Marlin did?” 

He was wholly unprepared for an inquiry of this magnitude. His voice caught in his throat before he ever opened his mouth. He reached out and stroked her side in a calming manner.

“Of course I would.” it sounded like a pubescent boy speaking instead of a grown man. “Across the oceans and everything.”

“Okay. I love you, daddy.”

“Love you, too, baby girl.”

He rushed out the door, feeling the waterworks forming in his eyes. He paced the distance from the front door to the kitchen and back many times, trying to keep from breaking down. Thinking on a whim that maybe fresh air would help, he went outside and out of habit approached his trailer.

The ramp was still down as he’d been too distracted to close it earlier. He went to go push the button, but froze as he saw a piece of paper still resting on the floor. He entered to look at the drawing she’d given him earlier. It was so clear now what she wanted to show him.

He picked it and pinned it to the wall where he could always see it. If this was how she saw him, then he had to make her proud.

Five trophies in one race? Alright. Let’s see what we can do.

[taeguboi]

BTS as a family

Request: ‘ bts as 1 big family? I know u get the stuff w/ jin as the mom all the time but I wanna c what u think their roles are’

Headcanon Masterlist

Thanks for requesting! Check out my other HCs in the link above!

Rap Monster / Namjoon

The Older Brother 

Joon

who thinks he can act like the father figure when dad is away, 

but really, it’s them who need to protect him

Somehow has more accidents than his dongsaengs

But he’s a really good tutor

So dad doesn’t have to always help with the kids’ homework

encourages Taehyung 

every time he thinks he’s found his dream occupation

even though it changes like 8473299 times a week

has a soft spot for the mysterious child that is Jeongguk

House is getting cramped

but they can share a room

Lets anyone share a bed with him if they’ve had a nightmare

cuddle monster

baby sits occasionally

plays peekaboo with the tots

and it’s all nice and fun

until he covers his eyes one minute

and then HOLY CRAP WHERE HAS THE CHILD GONE

has to fish Taehyung down from a shelf

and pull Jimin out of the fridge

then Jeongguk’s crying because he’s due a nappy change

and then holy fuck why do safety pins exist when they make your finger bleed?

thinks his brothers are some sort of curse on him for a solid year

because the accidents only happen when they’re around

but then catches dad burning his hand on the stove like

oh

probably shouldn’t have held those rituals to rid the curse

has to study at friend’s houses a lot though

so he’s not always at home

very independent as a result

because as much as he loves his brothers

they get so goddamn noisy

I guess that’s why they can come sleep in his room

because many study nights turn into sleep overs

probably only sleeps in his own bed about 3 days a week during high school years

the most trustworthy child

Jin /Seokjin

The single parent

with A LOT on his hands!

Don’t ask how he acquired so many children

He just did

“You’re adopted!”

when one of his kids just won’t shut the f*ck up!

But then goes soft when they cry

Even though it was their own stupid fault

“Goddammit, I suppose I should take you out shopping or something then”

Still puts notes in the kids packed lunches

he has to be both parents 

but somehow to the kids, it feels like he’s three or four parents 

because he puts in 150-200% effort in everyday

Gets distressed at every milestone

he doesn’t want them to grow up

Starts crying in the middle of the clothes store

because he was only here last week

for the same child

how tf did Tae go up 2 shoe sizes this week?

why do Jeongguk’s shirts keep tearing so easily?

when did Jimin’s voice break?!

no recollection of Namjoon being a child, help

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA on repeat

He does have a tendency to over do the whole protective thing

there’s going to be a lesson to be learned from this

but I’m just going to tell it to you now 

so you don’t have to go through all that upset and heart-break

but he gets some help along the way to let go a little

“Seokjin, why does Taehyung’s wallpaper now have a... rubbery theme to it?”

“Harry Potter is a bad influence and I will not have my baby having five thousand head injuries!”

“Jin, I know the kid can do some dumb things, but do you honestly think he’s going to try that many times?”

Makes the other parents jealous 

he doesn’t mean to though

he can’t help if he invites the kids’ friends round for tea, that his cooking happens to be better....

the other half of the parents of the kids at school however are single and all have a thing for him

Will buy everything his child needs for a project

perhaps a bit gullible at times

“a skateboard?”

“for science. gravity.”

“oh, okay”

Waves with a little hanky when the kids go on school trips

“have you got your bag?”

“have you got the lunch I packed you?”

“Yes dad, all 6 boxes of it”

Has some quirks that he won’t admit he has

or that the kids have picked up from him

“Why does Jeongguk make racing car sounds when he runs still?”

*shrugs*

“I have no idea”

*goes to put something on the shelf making a swanee whistle sound*

“Why does Taehyung still believe in unicorns?”

“Shut up! They’re totally real!”

Cliches

eat your crusts to get stronger

carrots to see in the dark

beauty sleep

the early bird gets the worm

*goddammit now the kids are waking up at 5am to take all the contents of the fridge*

err, too much chocolate milk makes you sad

“but it tastes so good Dad!”

“Goddammit children we should be endorsed for chocolate milk!!!”

Wants to hear all about your day

“Dad, I’m 27 now”

“I don’t care Namjoon. Tell me about your day.”

“Daaaad”

“and I made you hot chocolate and cookie, come snuggle on the couch with me”

Family photos at xmas with matching sweaters

From the

“Look at this piece of art that Jeonggukkie made for me today!”

*sticks it on the fridge but it’s made of pasta and lolly sticks so it keeps sliding down*

to the

“Oh my life my ChimChim has graduated uni!”

even the

“You just burped the alphabet? My son is so talented!”

“You made a rap about breakfast? Genius!”

Everything the kids do is amazing and a big achievement

Suga / Yoongi

Grandad by blood to one of the kids

Pop-pops to all the kids anyways

No one is quite sure which kid is his grandchild though

Tbh he's just here for some peace and quiet

(Chance would be a fine thing though...)

Owns that one chair in the living area

over the years, the general room design and furniture cahnges

but that chair stays

Just watches the kids do stupid shit

Guk’s about to put a crayon up his nose

and Tae is about to walk through a wall

but he ain’t gonna stop them

“Let the idiots learn from their own mistakes”

*crash!* *bang!* 

*crying*

“You raised morons.”

Makes less gestures 

but when he does, they’re huge

kinda like how some people pay for things weekly, and some monthly

One of the few grandparents that doesn’t constantly share their war stories

he just shares his own experiences when relevant

Though Taehyung is always asking for him to tell another story

“Tae, it’s 10pm”

“Just one more story pop-pops, please?”

He has more impact on the kids than he realizes

they adore him so much

and he wonders why the parents that helped create these kids don’t want to be around to raise them with Jin

but he wouldn’t have this family any other way

Gives the most heart-warming, tear-jerking toasts

everyone thought they were gonna cry at Jimin’s wedding because of the vows and love is beautiful and all the rest

but instead, everyone ends up being lame for the story of how pop-pops met his one true love

and the ending makes you emo for weeks

No one quite knows why he acts so indifferent

because he has such soft stories

Namjoon wonders for a while in his childhood

and then when he’s grown up

one day when he’s no longer living at home and drops in to say hello

Pop-pops is in his chair

watching the kids shooting each other with nerf guns

whites socks sliding on the kitchen lino

and sound effects

and then Namjoon sees it;

Pop-pops likes to just watch the kids progress day by day

watching them learn from their mistakes

watching them develop as people

that’s why he’d never step in when there was a recipe for disaster about to happen

He encourages Jin 

to make sure they grow up into well-rounded people

rather than put them in bubblewrap

and he couldn’t have done a better job.

J-Hope / Hoseok

That cool uncle

Uncle Hobi

That everyone adores, especially the youngest 

because he comes back with a gift every visit

Puts up with a lot of shit from the younger kids

because he can go home at the end of the day

Proudest uncle in the world

goes to all the kids events with Jin

although it’s a problem when he’s watching a match and two of the kids are on opposite teams like

“go on you reds! you can do i---”

“oh nice tackle blues! sock it to them!”

“I love both teams!”

all the other adults are confused

“Everyone’s a winner; go purple!!!”

Owns so much cool stuff

sometimes the kids sleep round at his

they’re fighting over the arcade machine

challenging each other to snooker or darts matches

arguing about the artwork on the wall

uncle hobi just smiles

Takes them out every weekend

so many fond memories

Spends all his money on the kids

there’s that one game Jeongguk’s not so good at at the arcade

but he’s addicted to it

so cool uncle hobi keeps giving him quarters

*2 days later”

“Look! Uncle Hobi! I finally won!”

“Well done, champ!”

Yeah, and it only cost him 200 dollars...

and guess who feeds Taehyung’s taste for Gucci?

or rather, guess who started it?

Jimin doesn’t ask for much

but uncle Hobi is always showering him with gift baskets when the others aren’t around

Namjoon sometimes joins them on their little outings

and he tells uncle Hobi all about the the new things he’s learned in school

and then Hobi find himself writing a cheque mid conversation

“Uh, Uncle Hobi, what are you doing?”

“Just take my money and go change the world!!”

It’s impossible to be prouder than Jin

but he’s pretty close

Jimin 

The middle brother

Chim

Who gets to order Tae and Guk around

as they get older, he’ll double dare them to some stupid shit

and they’ll do it

Younger brothers are just there for his amusement.

It’s the only reason they were born 

Like remember that one time it was snowing and he triple dared them to lick that frozen pole...?...

Takes more influence from pop-pops than he realizes

“It’s not my fault they were stupid enough to do it”

Doesn’t like it when Jungkook grows up

Yesterday, he was at Jimin’s shoulder level

but today, Jungkook is patting his head 

Probably because of all those times Jungkook took the last of the chocolate milk

“JEON JUNGKOOK!!!”

and

“Stop copying me Jeongguk; I did it first!”

but nawh, he does adore the youngest bro

back up older brother

you know that mem

the one where it’s like

*someone is sad*

and then

Jimin: [that picture of him peaking round the corner being a cute lil mochi]

He’s mostly like that for Tae

but when Joon leaves home

he’s there for Guk too in this way

He’s a good listener

which he gets from Dad Jin and brother Joon

bonds more with Tae as time goes by

mainly because the other brothers move out first

Falls for the best friend of the girl Taehyung is dating

oh look at that, it turns out she’s his soulmate

double dates with his bro

embarrassing childhood stories

but the girls just find it charming, really

so many family get together events because of these two brothers alone

21st birthday parties

they could have had a combined celebration

but why do that when you can have twice the fun?

Taehyung’s friends are Jimin’s friends

and vice versa

Jin watches them on movie night from the kitchen for a moment being proud

and then makes them extra popcorn

“Dad, we’ll get fat!”

“Good; I like my children to have chubby cheeks”

what other life events? oh yeah

engagement parties

weddings

emotional toasts 

about how they’ve gotten closer these recent years

followed by a baby story

“Tae, I can’t believe you told them that!”

“What? You showed everyone my baby pictures at my last birthday party!”

It’s kinda weird when Jimin and Taehyung fall out

because when they fall out

it’s not even a proper argument

like they don’t even know how to argue

“Dammit Jimin! Did you have to dress better than me tonight?!... Like seriously, where did you get that sweater?”

“Kim Taehyung! Did you steal that hair dye I bought?!... Oh wait never mind, that really suits you”

Secrets that make them even closer

they don’t always like to burden Dad

so they tell each other instead

Tae helps Jimin come out of his shell

and in return, Jimin helps Taehyung understand people better

Very capable of living independent lives

but feel empty without one another for too long

V / Taehyung

That child you cannot leave alone for 2 seconds

Bwi / TaeTae as a child, then

Tae as he gets older

“Okay, Tae Tae, I’m just going upstairs for something, so don’t touch anything”

“WTF KIM TAEHYUNG WHY AND HOW IS THE FRIDGE ON FIRE!?!”

Gets ice cream all over his face after one lick

Takes ‘the floor is lava’ game very seriously

creates the most laundry for Jin to do

because he’s always climbing and skidding 

and just being a boy really

Wants to pet everything, and

Wants a pet everything

“Dad! Can we get a dog?”

“How about a bunny?”

“How about a unicorn?”

“...Unicorns don’t exist Tae; they’re made up”

“Shut up! They’re totally real!”

(Like father, like son...)

Usually a carrier when there’s illness going round at school

“Look TaeTae, I know you don’t feel ill, but just be careful not to...”

*Tae sneezes really loudly without covering his face*

...

Lives for bedtime stories

loves fairytales

but comes to love underrated literature even more

so he really appreciates where those tales derived from

like old folklores and myths, etc

but also the more modern pieces that follow

and he knows all the pre-Brothers Grimm versions

but still somehow remains pure

santa is always real, no matter what you tell him

and the tooth fairy

and the easter bunny

Everyone knows Taehyung is a unique child

he just has a different perspective to most of the children

no one knows where it came from 

and not even Jin can credit himself for that

and he’s either going to grow up to be really smart

or a solitary eccentric

Has like a million teddy bears

they all get equal cuddles

one for each day of the week month year

Wants to try everything when he grows up

“Daddy, I want to be a surgeon!”

and it’s like a new occupation each day

“Lawyer!”

“Archaeologist!”

“Dentist!”

you never knew there were so many jobs in the world

“Shoplifter!”

“Shoplifter? What? Tae, you can’t steal things!”

Looking back, you wouldn’t believe that stupid shit came out of his mouth

he grows up so intelligent

and becomes a writer for children’s books

Defends any family member no matter what

even if there’s a chance they’re in the wrong

but that don’t matter because they’ve raised him so right

Jin cries when he leaves home because he’s raised

husband material

Ends up extending the family by 60%

adorable little puppies for children

and then adorable children as cute as puppies

and because he’s forever a child by spirit

he raises them to believe and be happy and have a little faith

It’s so hard to pick godparents

but he picks Jimin eventually

Fathers of a new generation of kids

Wow, they grow up so fast

Jungkook

Another child that needs constant supervision

‘Guk / Jeonggukie / Gukkie

Puts everything in his mouth

“No Jeonggukie! You can’t eat uncle Hobi!”

With baby Bwi he’s a 

LITTLE MONSTER

Not even sure he’s Jin’s kid

or just a friend Bwi brought into the house one day

No one realizes until he’s like 11 years old

that he’s one of Pop-pops’ grandkids

"How could you not tell us something like that Yoongs?”

“What? You never asked...

“...also, he’s a moron”

but pop-pop Yoongs doesn’t mean it

He just doesn’t want to give Jungkook special treatment

back to Guk

Gets way too hyper before his teens 

then one day Jin is the garage trying to fix the car and Jeongguk won’t leave him alone

and in a panic he sees some weights like

“Here have a go on these”

and that’s why Jeongguk grows up to be a 

muscle pig

becomes stronger than all his older siblings 

they actually get low key scared of him in adulthood

also becomes like really good at fixing stuff

so when Namjoon moves out

Guk follows not long after to share an apartment with him

and it saves a bit of money on repairs

so it’s kinda cute

because in childhood, Namjoon would fix Gukkie’s broken heart with his wisdom and wise advice

and in adulthood, Jeongguk fixes Namjoon’s broken furniture with his more practical skills

Won’t admit it but

copies Jimin

on purpose

but like I say, he won’t admit it

“Jeongguk!! I had muscles first!”

“Whaaat?” 

*crushes a walnut with his bare fist*

he just smiles

because he’s finally as strong as his great older bro

Gathers a lot of hobbies and interests

he has something he can share with each family member

If he wants to talk about something, all he has to do is

ask Jimin if he wants a video game night or

ask Dad to bake Gukkie Cookies with him or

-- sorry --

ask Tae to meet at the book store or

ask Joon for an anime marathon or

ask uncle Hobi to come bowling or

ask pop-pops if he’s interested in a spot of golf

fortunately, he doesn’t even have to say something’s up

everyone knows that’s his go to move if he needs advice

Some people would say that all the things he has are down to luck

but he knows he wouldn’t be where he is without his family

and that’s the lucky part

[queendophne]

Love at First Note

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Stony

For: Stony Bingo Round Two fill

Prompt: Secret Admirer

Summary: (PART 1/3) Tony got a note! Finally! Wait. What if it was Justin being mean to him? Tony no longer wanted to chance a look. Tony studied the badly folded paper in his hands studying it. "Why don’t you take a look, Anthony?" his teacher smiled warmly at him after bending down to be eye level with him. Tony looked at his teacher’s encouraging face before opening the folds of the paper with shaking hands.

Notes: the first two parts of this fill are Tony and Steve in Kindergarten. The eiplogue or last part is their wedding. There is a cute fluffy fic. I had fun writing this! Enjoy

Other Locations: on AO3

Tony was five. The smartest five-year-old in the world according to his mama and his mama was always right. Still, it was hard being too smart for his age. No one liked Tony much. The only friends he had could be counted on one hand, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy and Bruce. Though a lot of times he felt like he was forcing himself on them. He was not much fun. Not really. But he does buy them a lot of gifts. Hopefully, that will be enough to keep them around. They were the bestest and most fun group of people. Tony did not need anyone else! It just hurt that he was alone in his kindergarten class until after twelve when Tony, along with Bruce, heads to big kid school where he spends his time with his friends.

Though, lately, Tony has been bluer than normal. His teacher had started the anonymous compliment baggies this quarter and everyone got something except Tony. It had been two weeks and not a single compliment was paid. Tony had given many of his classmates compliments in hope of getting something but this activity seemed to cement how much his peers did not like him. At least Bruce in the next class over got some notes which made Tony happy. If he could he would give Bruce his own notes but the teacher specified only to compliment their classmates.

                                               (beware mobile users)

His friends tried to cheer Tony up. Pepper gave Tony her last cookie, Rhodey gave him his latest robot toy to borrow, Happy punched Tony lightly in the arm trying to show affection, and Bruce had given Tony a ‘secret compliment’ in person while in the car on their way to big kid school. He really did have the bestest friends but it was not enough. It should be and that made Tony angry at himself but like any kid, he just wants to fit in and be normal.

"Yo ‘ony," Justin came up behind Tony’s desk on Monday the third week into the quarter, "did you get any notes yet?" Justin snickered while his goonies joined in. Tony could feel his face flame up in shame and anger. It was not his fault no one wanted to talk to him. Right? His mama had told him so.

"Go ‘way ‘ustin!" Tony said in reply. He hated Justin more than anyone he knew, even more than his father which was saying something.

"Oh? ‘onna make me?" Justin teased leaning forward invading more of Tony’s space. Tony glared angrily up at Justin from his seat. Tony was not afraid of Justin, not one bit!

"No, but I will," a third voice joined the conversation. Tony turned to see Steve walk into Tony’s classroom looking determined and angry. Steve was a kid from Bruce’s class. He always seemed so cool and fun to hang around but Tony was too shy to talk to him longer than to say ‘hello’. Tony vaguely wondered why Steve was in his classroom instead of his own before focusing back on the situation.

"Steve! My fwiend-" "we aw not fwiends," Steve cuts in looking at Justin seriously stepping in-between Justin and Tony. Tony just silently watched the interaction not really knowing what to do. This was his chance to talk to Steve! He should say something! Anything! But he didn’t. Tony just sat there silent even as Justin and his goons walked away. Even as Steve turned to smile his brilliant smile at him. Even as Steve bid him goodbye.

Tony was silent. He was so stupid. So much for smartest five-year-old, his mama lied to him.

Tony came into class in the morning to see everyone checking their baggies for messages from the day before. Tony was tempted to ignore the daunting paper bag with his name on it but something told him that he should look. Maybe today was the day his luck would finally show up. He did not let his hopes up too much.

Tony’s bag was hanging a little over his head. He had to reach up on his tiptoes to push his hand in the baggie. At first, Tony did not feel anything but surprisingly he felt a small piece of paper hiding in the corner of the bag. Nervous and excited Tony pulled the paper out of the bag so quick that he had ripped his baggie pretty badly. He freaked a bit but it was quickly trumped by the happiness of getting a note.

Tony got a note! Finally! Wait. What if it was Justin being mean to him? Tony no longer wanted to chance a look. Tony studied the badly folded paper in his hands studying it. "Why don’t you take a look, Anthony?" his teacher smiled warmly at him after bending down to be eye level with him.

Tony looked at his teacher’s encouraging face before opening the folds of the paper with shaking hands. Tony read the small note. He read it again and again. It was written in crayon and badly spelled but it read,

‘I tink u r ausome!’

Tony blushed at the words not really believing that this note was meant for him. Maybe someone had mistaken his bag for someone else’s. His teacher looked pleased and Tony felt a little hope. Even if this was a mistake, this was his. A message. A compliment. No one could take that away from him.

In a hurry, Tony rushed to his bag and took out his pencil case and placed the paper inside after folding it again keeping its bad folds and all. It was perfect just the way it was.

Tony could not stop smiling for the rest of the day. He went up to Rhodey at the beginning of class to show him the folded paper. Tony did not unfold it. He wanted to keep it to himself. Rhodey just laughed at Tony’s antics and told him to sit his butt down on the chair next to him or Happy was going to take it.

When Tony got home, he rushed inside to show Jarvis and his mama that he got his first compliment! Jarvis took Tony to the kitchen, rummaged around a bit and pulled out a small rectangular box. Jarvis explained that this box has a secret power, it holds treasures forever and ever. He handed it to Tony to use as a safe keeper for his note with a warning to take good care of it. Tony knew enough that the box held no such power but it excited him all the same to have something valuable to hold and to cherish from a man he loved dearly.

The note was placed softly onto the metal bottom of the box. Tony wanted to handle it all with extreme care. This was his note. He will look at it forever and always.

The next day Tony came running into his classroom. He almost fell a few times on his way to it but he got there without a single scratch. Tony did not care but he was proud that he was able to keep his balance. But standing in front of the paper bag, that had been so kindly replaced, with his name on it, brought back the feeling of anxiety and fear. What if it was a one time fluke? What if it really was an accident? What if the kid only did it once out of pity?

A hundred thoughts ran through his mind as he stared down the bag. Maybe he could will the note into existence. With slow and unsure steps, Tony walked up to the bag, lifted his hand in, and pulled out two pieces of badly folded papers.  The first was another note that read,

‘Tony is SUPER smart. U gave me ur last biscuit. Thank you.’

The second paper was a drawing. It was a good art piece for a five-year-old to have drawn. Or at least Tony thought so. He figured that was all that mattered. The drawing was, of course, him standing in the center with two large brown eyes, dark curls on his head, with flimsy stick figure hands and feet popping out of a boxy t-shirt and shorts. The drawing made him laugh. Tony loved the drawing very, very much.

After that, Tony had come to expect something in the paper bag. There were times that he had not gotten anything but always seemed to recieve a few extra by the same hand a day later to make it up. His treasure box was starting to get full of these wonderous notes and drawings. Tony had seen a lot of the other kid’s notes and found that none of them were from his complimentor.

This made Tony curious. He, too, wanted to give back to them. He wanted to find the person to repay them in kind. He talked to Bruce about it but his friend had said that it was against the rules so he should not do it. Tony was born to break rules so he decidedly ignored Bruce’s advice. Pepper agreed with Bruce but Happy and Rhodey were more than glad to help Tony come up with a plan to find the admirer.

Tony just really wanted to know who it was and pay them back. Buy them a gift so that they would like him. He just really wanted to make this person his friend. He was going to succeed. Do it secretly so that neither the teachers or his classmates found out about it. The plan did not leave the confines of his four, soon to be five, friends.

Steve came to his class to see his best friend, Bucky, though Tony liked to just call him James because there was only one room for a nicknamed James in Tony’s mind and that was Rhodey. He sat next to him talking a bit and asking him over to play this weekend and Tony really wished he was in James’ spot. He liked Steve just as much as James did! What did Steve not see it? Tony just pouted staring at his desk.

No matter. Once Tony found his secret admirer Tony would no longer need Steve. Not like they were friends really so Tony was not going to lose anything…well Tony still wanted to be Steve’s friend but that was never going to happen! Plus, Tony was now busy trying to find his secret admirer.

“Hey ‘ony,” Steve crossed the room to stand in front of the small brunette. Tony blinked up at him a few times before looking back at his stack of papers for math problems he had to finish for his big kid school math teacher.

“Hi,” Tony finally managed to squeak out, “you like 'tar ‘rek?” Stupid question Tony.

“‘tar ‘rek? Nope,” Steve tilted his head a little smiling shyly at him.

“Oh, uh, it’s about ou'erspace,” Tony clarified trying to dumb down the concept of Star Trek so that Steve could understand it.

“I like ou’erspace,” Steve giggled, “maybe you cou’ show it to me! Come over this wee'end! ‘ucky’s coming too.”

“Okay,” Tony finally replied after a long silence between them.

“Okay see you ‘a’er Tony,” Steve waved at him before leaving the classroom. Tony whispered a small goodbye in return but Steve was already too far to hear it.

Tony lingered a little longer watching Steve leave the classroom before pulling out his small notebook he had written his plan on. It was simple enough, Tony was going to hide under the teacher’s table after class and watch his bag from there. Surely his secret admirer will place it in before they leave.

So after class, Tony waited. And waited but no one came up to his bag. He sat there long after all his classmates have gone but it seemed that no one put anything in his bag. Maybe today was an off day. He will try again tomorrow. Tony quickly ran to his car so he was not late to match class at his big kid school. His teacher hated tardiness.

Tony tried again every day that week. He stayed after everyone else but somehow he seems to miss them. Tony was starting to get angry and sad. He just wanted to give them a gift and be their friend! Why were they making his life difficult!

“You know,” Rhodey supplied putting his sandwich down, “maybe try going earlier in the morning. They could come in early and put in your bag before anyone else comes in.”

“I hate ‘ornings!” Tony complained and pouted at the prospect of having to get up earlier than usual so he could get to class before everyone else.

“It is only until you find out who this secret admirer is,” Pepper supplied encouragingly. Tony turned his pout on her making Pepper giggle and pet his head.

“Maybe I shou’ ‘ive up,” Tony sighed defeated. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes at the idea of failing to find out who his secret admirer was.

“Tony Stark gives up on nothing!” Happy replied slamming his fist on the table in determination making Tony jump. He knew that Happy meant well but sometimes he did things a bit dramatically. Still, he inspired Tony to try catching his admirer in the morning.

This was such a bad idea. Tony was not a morning person at all.

Tony sat shocked in his spot behind the desk. He had found his secret admirer! But of all the people, Tony did not expect it to be him. Still, he did not mind the fact that James was putting the notes in his bag but he did care to the fact that James looked super annoyed doing so. Why would a person put a compliment in another’s bag while being grumpy about doing so?

Well, at least he knew who his secret admirer was. It was not Steve, obviously, but James was not a bad choice. He could work with that. So operation befriending James was ago!

“Hey ‘ony,” Steve had stepped up behind him making Tony jump, “what’ya doing?”

“Steve!” Tony greeted back looking around nervously.

“You coming tomowow?” Steve asked looking nervous as well.

Tony blinked. This was the perfect opportunity to make friends with James and Steve! This was perfect! “Yeah! I will come!” Tony responded enthusiastically.

“Great! See you,” Steve ran off again to see James before he leaves to his own classroom. Tony watched the two interact before turning to his bag and collect his notes.

This note read,

‘ Can’t wait for outer space! See u this weekend!

P.S ma helped me spell. Because you are smart

so you know how to read’

This confused Tony greatly. The only person Tony talked to about outer space to was Steve trying to tell him about Star Trek. Did Steve tell James about it too? Well no matter. This changes nothing. The plan to befriend James was underway!

Tony held the wrapped boxes in his hands nervously. He did not know what to get Steve or James as befriending gifts. They were hard but Tony settled on something small. For Steve, Tony got a full box of crayola crayons with every color. For James, Tony got him a complete set of toy cars. He knew James likes to play racer with his rundown cars that he keeps in his pockets. He hoped that they liked his gifts.

Tony barely made it to the door of Steve’s apartment before the door swung open for him to come in. Steve looked so happy to see Tony and it made Tony feel a nervous kind of joy flutter in his chest as he walked in. Steve led Tony to his room where James had already set up his shop of cars he was playing with.  

“What you got in your ‘ands ‘ony?” Steve asked tilting his head curiously. Tony jumped a bit before rushing to hand both Steve and James their gifts. Both boys looked confused but they opened the gifts anyways.

“They a’e ‘ifts,” Tony replies, “uh, fow both of you.”

“It’s not my birthday,” Steve looks confused but there is a little happiness there too. Tony fidgeted in his spot not really knowing how to respond to that.

“‘ink we aw too poow?” James asked throwing the new toy cars on the ground, “I don’t wike gifts.”

“‘ucky!” Steve glares at James. Tony just stared at the box James had thrown devastated. He had screwed this up. He had screwed this up so badly. He felt tears well up in his eyes but he refused to cry in front of them so he ran out of the room in desperation to find the bathroom.

“‘ony!” Tony heard Steve call for him but Tony ignored him in favour of finding the bathroom. He opened the first door he found and luckily enough it was the bathroom. Closing the door, Tony dropped to his knees and cried.  

All he wanted was to make friends. The only way he knew how to was to get them gifts. Was that not how friends do it? Justin did it all the time! Look at all the friends he has!

Tony cried harder.

After a few minutes, Tony heard a knock on the door. Tony tried to ignore it but he was not home and it was rude to ignore someone in their own home. Reluctantly, Tony moved away from the door and let the person in. When the door opened, Steve was standing at the opening next to James and a woman Tony assumed was Steve’s mama.

“Hi Tony,” Steve’s mama greets, “I hope you don’t take James the wrong way. He comes from a different place and took your gift in the wrong way. What do you have to say for yourself James?”

“Sowy,” James apologized while looking at the ground, “I didn’t mean to ma’e you cwy.”

“I-it’s okay,” Tony sniffed standing up from the floor. Steve came up to Tony and pulled him into a tight hug before pulling Tony to James’ side.

“Let’s be fwends?” James asks quietly shuffling nervously.

“Yeah! Fwends!” Tony smiled taking both Steve’s and James’ hand in his own and dragged them back to Steve’s room.

Tony made new friends! He was so happy!

By the end of the quarter, Tony, Steve and James became good friends but it was Tony and Steve who grew exceptionally close. They almost inseparable and Tony was not scared to call Steve one of his best friends. Steve came to Tony’s class to talk to both him and James a lot after that day. They talked about everything or Tony talked and Steve listened. Steve was good at that and he seemed to enjoy it.

On the last day of class, Tony walked up to James with a note of his own making and handed it to James personally. He had wanted to thank James for all the nice messages he had given him over the activity and today was the last day to do so. He also wanted to thank him for giving Tony the courage to start a friendship with him and Steve because of it.

James took the paper with a questioning look but did not say anything. Tony watched James unfold the paper and read it’s contents before looking at Tony and saying, “wrong pewson.”

“Wha’?” Tony looked at James confused.

“I am not yow secwet admiwew,” James replied.

“But I saw you,” Tony looked even more confused.

James laughed, “it was Stevie. That dummy has been twying to  talk to you all yeaw. He made me do it because we awe in the same class.”

Of course. Tony should have known after getting to know Steve this past few weeks. That kid was the biggest sap.

“Yeah, you have no nice bone in yow body,” Tony teased James receiving a light punch on the shoulder.

“Go make him a new one,” James pointed at the door, “it will make the dummy happy.”

Tony did not run so fast in his life. For the first time in his short life, Tony’s math was wrong. Steve really was Tony’s secret admirer.

“Hey Steve,” Tony greeted

Steve smiled brightly in return, “hey ‘ony!”

“This is for you,” Tony handed him a neatly folded paper.

[kaeles-blog1]

Top 30 Baby Books

•1. Anderson Halperin, Wendy. Love is…. Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 2001. Picture book. Designed for all ages.

The words from this book are adapted from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible. I love this book because it’s all about love and loving no matter what happens in your life. The words are few, and the pictures speak for themselves. Each page is illustrated with pencil and watercolor, with about 11 little pictures that tell a story about people loving on each page.  

•2. Buehner, Caralyn, and Mark Buehner, illustrator. I did it, I’m Sorry. Dial Books for Young Readers, 1998. Picture book. Ages 2 to 5.

This illustrated book with pictures made of oils and acrylics by husband of the author, Mark Buehner, is again, a really different book compared to the rest in the books on my list. The characters are animals like beavers, hoggs, flamingos, and polar bears that experience moral dilemmas such as “virtues of honesty, thoughtfulness, and trustworthiness.” Each page presents each animal’s dilemma and then three answers. The reader is encouraged to choose the right answer.

•3. Bunyan, John. Pilgrim Progress. Moody Press, 1964. Novel. Ages 12 to 16.

This novel tells adventurous story of a pilgrim named Christian who leaves his family to journey to the Celestial City. He faces a spiritual battlefield, alone to choose the right paths that will lead him in the right direction to the Celestial City. He struggles with physical and mind “obstacles” along the way. This is a classic novel that I strongly suggest for classroom use and discussion for young readers.

•4. Chambers, Aidan. The Present Takers. W.W. Norton & Company, 2005. Children’s novel. Ages 8 to 12.

This novel touches on the issue of how children can become abusive. This story is “based on the actual events in the life of a friend’s daughter who was being bullied at school.”  

•5. Crews, Nina. The Neighborhood Mother Goose. Greenwillow Books, 2004. Photography picture book. Ages 3 to age 6.

This book is a compilation of the popular and not as well known nursery rhymes, lullabies, and poetry for children. It is illustrated by full color photography, edited with Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator. The illustrations are of a city setting, designed to enhance each of the nursery rhymes.  

•6. Estes, Eleanor, and Louis Slobodkin, illustrator. The Hundred Dresses. Harcourt Children’s Books, 2004. Chapter book. Ages 6 to 10.

This story is about a Polish girl, Wanda, who claims to have a hundred dresses, all different styles and colors. Yet, she wears the same blue dress to school everyday. The other girls tease and ask her questions about her hundred dresses. Wanda doesn’t seem to be phased; she continues with her story of a hundred dresses and still only wears her faded blue dress. She wins a class drawing award after she has moved away, and the rest of her classmates learn a lot about Wanda. This is a great story for teaching a moral lesson.

•7.  Heap, Sue. Cowboy Baby. Candlewick Press, 1998. Picture book. Ages 2 to 4.

This book is another bright and colorful one, with illustrations done with acrylic and watercolor, by the author. This book is useful for helping children learn they need to go to bed. Sheriff Pa comes up with a plan to get Cowboy Baby and his pals to go to bed.  

•8. Hindley, Judy, and Brita Granstrom, illustrator. Eyes, Nose, Fingers, and Toes. Candlewick Press,1999. Picture Book. Ages 2 to 5.

Illustrated by Brita Granstrom, this bright and colorful book is all about toddlers learning all the different things they can do with their eyes, nose, fingers, and toes. I really like this book and think the large font and colorful pages, along with the readers interaction makes for a really fun time. This book was different than most because all the backgrounds to the illustrations look like kids drawings out of crayon or chalk and the kids are done with sharp edges and more detail.

•9. Hoban, Tana. Colors Everywhere. Greenwillow Books, 1995. Wordless picture book. Ages 3 to 6.  

The pictures in this book are photographs, which have also been displayed at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. The idea of this book is for children to see all the colors around us and see them in new ways. Hoban wants everyone who looks at this book to obtain "awareness and vision." The world will never be seen the same.

•10. Katz, Karen. Counting Kisses. Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 2002. Picture book. Infant to age 4. One of the Classic Board Books Series.

This “kiss and read” book is so fun for mommies, children, and the whole family! It is a countdown of kisses to help bring a peaceful goodnight to the baby. The mommy starts by kissing ten kisses on the baby’s toes, then sister, grandma and daddy each kiss something on baby, such as baby’s dimples, and chin, and the family cat even licks “three fuzzy kisses on sweet little ears.” This story is so cute and would be awesome to read to an infant with the whole family involved. What a great way to unite a family.

•11. Krumgold, Jospeh. Onion John. John Newberry Medal. Thomas Y. Crowell Company, 1959. Chapter book. Ages 9 to 12.

This story is about a boy named Andy, whose best friend is Onion John. Onion John eats onions like anyone would eat an apple. Their peers try to change Onion John and everyone close to him in his life. This book shows a boy growing up and dealing with conformity and the world.  

•12. Konisburg, E.L. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Newbery Medal Winner. Simon & Schuster 1970. Novel. Ages 9 to 12.

This fictional story of a brother and sister is a funny and fascinating story about family and growing up. Claudia feels unappreciated by her family and takes her brother and runs away from home, to live in a museum for about a week. Through it all she discovers what she is searching for and learns a big lesson.  

13. Konigsberg, E.L., The View from Saturday. John Newbery Medal. Atheneum Books,1996. Chapter book. Ages 8 to 12.

This is a cute story of four students who become good friends. Their teacher is a paraplegic who chooses them to represent their sixth grade class in the Academic Bowl competition.  

•14. Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird. Pulitzer Prize. Warner Books, Incorporated, 1988. Novel. Ages 10 to 14.

To Kill a Mockingbird is another classic novel, dealing with issues of The Great Depression, racism, and the pubescent coming of age life lessons. Scout and Atticus, brother and sister, learn about trust and trusting one’s own thoughts; they learn what they actually believe for themselves. This is an awesome book for teaching about theme and moral issues.  

•15. Lobel, Arnold. Mouse Tales. HarperCollins Publishing, 1978.  

Picture/Chapter Book. Ages 6 to 8. One of I Can Read Book Series: Level 2.

This book and series is intended to help children learn to read and enjoy reading in chapter book format, but wish pictures also and not an overwhelming chunk of words all at one time. These are great books for children who like animals and their adventures.

•16. Markes, Julia, and David Parkins, illustrator. Shhhhh! Everybody’s Sleeping. HarperCollins Publishers, 2005. Picture book. Ages 3 to 6.

This story is about a young child who is encouraged to sleep by the thought of everyone else sleeping. It shows different people sleeping, such as a teacher, a baker, a postman, a baker, the president, and a farmer. The pictures, illustrated by David Parkins are bright, big, and colorful; the text is large and looks captivating to a child.

•17. McGhee, Alison, and Peter H. Reynolds, illustrator. Someday. Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 2007. Picture book. Ages 4 to 8.

This inspiring book is about a mother’s love for her children and the hope to see them live their lives to the fullest potential. This mom wants to see her child’s dreams come true.

•18. Patron, Susan, and Matt Phelan illustrator. The Higher Power of Lucky. Newbery Medal. Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing. Novel. Ages 9 to 12.

Lucky is a girl with a lot of unanswered questions, searching for something in this world. She runs away from home, but is certain she will be captured and taken to an orphanage. Lucky wants “higher powers” to help her get through her situation. This is a fun and quirky story for children trying to figure out life.

•19. Rawls, Wilson. Where the Red Fern Grows. Great Stone Face Award. Bantam Doubleday Dell Books for Young Readers, 1961. Novel. Ages 10 to 14.

I loved this book when I was in grade school. It made me laugh, smile, and cry! It is about a boy growing up in the Ozarks, who obtains to redbone hounds. They become his best friends and best companions, as they go on adventurous, hunting and exploring the woods they lives in.

•20. Sachar, Louis, and Adam McCauley, illustrator. Sideways Stories from Wayside School. HarperCollins Publishing, 1985. Chapter book. Ages 9 to 12. One of a series.

This is a really fun chapter book, with each chapter telling a short story of “humorous episodes” in a Wayside School classroom. The teachers and the students are uniquely strange and there is always something bizarre going on.  

•21. Scieszka, Jon, and Lane Smith, illustrator. The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales. Caldecott Medal. Viking, 1992. Ages 5 to 11.

This was one of my absolute favorites as a child. It has all the classic fairytales every kid grows up reading, but rewritten in a humorous and somewhat twisted way. I think most ages can enjoy revisions of their favorite classic children’s stories, with pictures as silly as their rewrite.  

•22. Sebold, Alice. Lovely Bones. Little, Brown & Company, 2002. Third place fo the Discover Great New Writers Award. Novel. Ages 13 to 25.

This is a fictional story, purely for entertainment about a family who experiences a murder and the journey they take to regain peace and closure after such a devastating time in their lives. What makes this murder mystery a unique piece of its kind is that the girl who was killed is placed in heaven, where she can see her family going through all this pain and trying to figure out who killed herself, Susie Salmon.

•23. Sendak, Maurice. Where the Wild Things Are. Caldecott Medal. HarperCollins Publishing, 1963. Picture book. Ages 4 to 12.

This is a story which takes you into the imagination of a young boy’s mind. Commonly referred to as a “darker” themed book taking you into the emotions of a defiant night in one kid’s world. This pictures are symbolic and the message is deeper than the surface level images and words. Max doesn’t want to go to bed, so in his room becomes a wild forest with the “wild things.”

•24. Silverstein, Shel. Giving Tree. HarperCollins Publishing, 1986. Ages 4 to 8. Picture book.

A young boy is loved by a tree that gives and gives, and continues to give. He plays with this tree, swinging on her branches, and eating her fruit. As the boy keeps growing bigger and older, he begins to want more from the tree. The book is about teaching to not only receive but to give back. The message is deeper than you might think the first time you read it; a great story for teaching young children how to give.

• 25. Silverstein, Shel. Where the Sidewalk Ends. HarperCollins Publishing, 1974. Ages 9 to 12. Compilation of poety.

Known to be one of Shel Silverstein’s most popular books full of poems and illustrations, it is hilarious and funny for all ages really. He really knows how to make people laugh through his poems and related drawings. This book is unique and will capture any kid. Teachers have given it good reviews for using this book in a classroom to help brighten the mood.

•26. Slater, Dashka, and Hiroe Nakata, illustrator. Baby Shoes. Bloomsbury Children’s Books, 2006. Picture book. Ages 2 to 5.

This is a fun book, illustrated with water color by Hiroe Nakata, about a baby and his mommy. They go walking around the city doing different things, like shopping, playing with chalk, crossing the street, walking through the park with grass. Everywhere and everything he does gets a new color on his new white shoes and then they don’t look new anymore.

• 27. Stevenson, James. July. Greenwillow Books, 1990. Picture book. Ages 9 to 12.

The biographical children's story is about the author’s adventures during the summers him and his brother spent at their grandparent’s house near the beach. There are many pictures on every page, designed with watercolor.  

•28. Swift, Jonathan. Gulliver’s Travels. Dover Publications,1996. Novel. Ages 10 to 18. This is an adventurous and fanciful story of a man named Lemuel Gulliver who travels to strange lands and comes across abnormal people situations. Such things happen to him like meeting a land of six inch people, then a land of giants, and later a land of horselike creatures who rule over the humanlike creatures.

•29. Williams, Margery, and William Nicholson, illustrator. Velveteen Rabbit. Random House Children’s Books, 1958. Picture book. Ages 4 to 8.

A classic tale of a stuffed rabbit who gets tossed in the trash by his owner. The rabbit has wished to become real his whole stuffed animal life and finally his wish comes true.

•30. Yourgrau, Barry, and Neil Swabb, illustrator. Yet Another NASTYbook: MiniNasties, Vol. 3. HarperCollins Publishing, 2007. Ages 9 to 12. One of a series.

NASTYbook is a compliation of fun, very short stories. “This third in the NASTYbook series is the funniest, grossest, most wild and weird yet,” a note from the publisher. The characters in this book have things happen to them like swallowing a cell phone and eating up all the furniture.