#well maybe nandor can turn him now

[hungry-hobbits]

guillermo's morals are so fucked up like yes i will kill hundreds of vampires for my friends, yes i'll lure hundreds of humans to their deaths at the hands of vampires, yes i'll then dismember those bodies after watching my master and his friends feast on them, yes i will watch this happen in real time for 13yrs after idolizing the lifestyle since childhood - no i will not kill one single human after finally achieving my dream of becoming a vampire because the smell of his shampoo made me cry after realizing he was a person and not a bag of blood for my newly awakened desires

[ughsecondblogsdontwork]

I don't watch a whole lot of television, so maybe I'm missing some perspective, but I've never seen a TV show where the Main Character was a fat gay man (or person in general, I'm not crazy enough to think they'd ever try to pull this with a fat lesbian for instance) where neither his sexuality or fatness were 1. An overt problem in the narrative or 2. The butt of routine or mean-spirited jokes. What We Do In the Shadows was awesome in so many ways, but it was also awesome because I got to see a gay and fat person do all kinds of shit as a main character without being constantly questioned or degraded for being fat! I really, really love Guillermo. He's a vampire slayer! An action hero! He looks cool, cute and sexy all at once in his action scenes- I love watching him grow as a character and stand up for himself, I love his jokes, he's really such a great character! So this final season sucked, right. Like this final season was total shit ass, I'm sorry. I'm so disappointed. I feel so let down. There are a million reasons why it sucked, but right now I just feel sad because of how everything turns out for Guillermo and the queer and fat representation in the show. First of all, it really threw me for a loop when the show opened with crazy fat jokes about Colin Robinson. That obviously did not land for me at all and why would it land for wwdits viewers? We are following a show where we are emotionally invested in a fat MC and we don't have a *problem* with fatness- so why would I think it's funny that Colin Robinson "got fat"??? Make it make sense lmao.

And I don't know why the fuck Nandor and Guillermo's entire relationship was abandoned. Did every single writer jump ship and get replaced by someone who's never seen the show or??? Well, it feels like a punch in the gut for a few reasons:

This show is supposedly "queer". Every known vampire is queer and Guillermo is gay. But the only consistent relationship is Nadja and Lazslo, which isn't a problem obviously we love them, but would it kill the show for there to be...? More visibly queer relationships? It's a show that insists its gay over and over again in word but not action. I don't care if Nandor and Lazslo like to fuck each other silly offscreen, and Nadja is also supposedly queer in some way, off screen- everything is conveniently off screen. Nandor and Guillermo did not *need* to get together, but the lack of explicit acknowledgement is weird. It just is.

Also, it would just be nice! Like am I crazy? Is it too much to ask for? To see a fat MC be in love and in a relationship not in spite of their appearance but just bc the other person likes them? I feel like every show with gay couples as main characters is a romance based show that is mostly About them getting together. Wwdits is so much fun because it's about so many things! But why couldn't this be *one* of those things? Can you think of a single show in the world right now where a fat queer main character is in a relationship and their looks or their sexuality are not the key point of conversation about the relationship? I can't! This was the perfect opportunity! Nandor and Guillermo fell into a well established relationship trope that had nothing to do with appearance or sexuality, and people who like that trope were naturally drawn to it. Why did they just spit on the whole thing? It makes no fucking sense.

Any response like "well sometimes unrequited love is a good plot" "X needed to grow and Y relationship was bad" "It's better this way because of XYZ" "It would have been toxic" this is a silly tv show about murderous vampires. Guillermo is also a murderer. There is just no possible way that a relationship between Guillermo and Nandor would have ruined the show lmao. It would have been fun! Remember when TV comedies were about being fun! I sure do! Apparently asking for a fun gay relationship between the queer main characters of the "queer TV show" is just too much to ask- better luck next time! Honestly, I feel so bitter lol. Bitter and sad. A show this fun and a cast this good deserved a waaaaay better ending all around. This post isn't even touching all the other weird shit and quite a lot of objectively bad shit that was wrong with the season

Before anyone gets all weird about my use of the word fat if you're not familiar with that, I am fat and I think fat is a neutral word and am trying to normalize the usage of it instead of substituting it with shit like "plus size". Fat is not an insult in the context of my words lol

[ineffably-human]

Okay, so: the hypnosis!

Nandor's actually the one who wasn't great at it in the past, yes, whatever. I'm fine with those kind of details being all over the place, personally. Even though it's weird.

What's intriguing me more is that this is clearly a runner. We've heard it mentioned two episodes in a row that they're starting to overly rely on hypnosis as a means of dealing with their slip-ups, specifically when they accidentally reveal themselves as vampires. There's the question of it impacting the minds of the humans around them, in the long-term.

Combine that with:

Sean (their biggest link to the normal human world, whose brain is already fucked up from hypnosis) appearing more frequently.

The vampires going out into the world more in all four of the episodes critics have had access to - and more after that, if the episode titles and summaries so far are any indication.

Nandor does a verbal faux pas on a newscast, we have seen clips with all of them on the newscast as newscasters, is this for a mass hypnosis? (The second one after Nandor's at the basketball game, that was a lot of extras for a simple gag!) A mass coverup?

Colin is going to be running for public office, what's less secretive than that?

They're going to a Pride Parade, what's a better way to juxtapose secrecy than that?

Increased emphasis on the documentary crew. Does the neighborhood notice they've had a film crew around them for fiveish years now? What do they think it's for? Who's supposed to see this documentary anyway?

Guillermo still has another episode with his family coming up, the family that were hypnotized into forgetting major things that are still a part of his personal truth, things that would be a huge risk to the vampires if they came to light...

Between Guillermo's personal secrets and this increased emphasis on the vampires out in the world, not to mention the whole thing with Derek as a metaphor for infidelity, I think secrets and lies are the theme this season. The way change/transformation was a theme in season 4, and power and protection were the themes of season 3.

The 'lies' part of things can also involve self-delusion, that's how Nadja's piece can fold into it. Nandor and Guillermo's feelings about each other work there, too. (I think they know Guillermo has a little crush on Nandor, but neither of them realize just how much and maybe don't even believe it's still ongoing.)

And I think this is a great time to bring it up, because this season is about Guillermo maybe becoming a vampire at last - and I think the secrecy is part of what draws Guillermo to being a vampire. It's like a contradiction that's a feature, not a bug. He's spent a long time hiding major facets of who he is to everyone around him, and being a vampire means living openly, freely, while simultaneously being part of a secret species.

Hell, he's the one who gives us the thesis statement at the end of the season's first episode:

"Being a vampire is no different than being a human. We're all just doing what it takes to survive. We go on about our day. Blend in. Act like everyone else. But the truth is, we're all just hiding in plain sight."

I think the vampires are going to get into a situation that hypnosis can't get them out of, maybe something involving the documentary crew and the footage they've collected as well. Something that fully threatens to expose them, impact their safety, with no way of turning back.

Maybe it's something where only Guillermo, as the bridge between human and vampire he's always been, can save them. After all, what is he right now, if not stuck in-between?

[hannibalvampires]

What We Do In The Shadows Finale Thoughts

I’ve seen a lot of different opinions on the finale and I thought why not post my own since I seem to agree with different things from those who disliked it and those who liked it.

So first off I was not disappointed by the finale, but the reason is because I already accepted that the show I loved in the first 3 seasons had taken a different direction.

I was disappointed when the show took a turn in season 4 and 5 and dropped or stopped focusing on a lot of my favourite arcs: Guillermo standing up for himself and becoming more confident, Nandor and Guillermo’s evolving relationship (which was clearly heading in a romantic direction), Laszlo and Colin’s friendship, etc.

I did not expect the finale to wrap up all these character arcs because I’ve seen for the past few seasons that they did not care about those arcs anymore. Instead they seemed to focus almost exclusively on the comedy aspect of the show and decided that the character building and development did not matter anymore.

There were occasional episodes where they would focus more on character development and relationships but the next episode would often act like they never happened and the characters learned nothing.

It was frustrating for a bit but I accepted it. The show was still funny and I enjoyed it a lot of the time. It felt like watching a different show that I enjoyed but not nearly as much as the show in the first 3 seasons.

The episode before the finale was one of those occasional episodes where they focused on character development and relationships. I loved it. However, having seen the pattern of the show the past few seasons I knew that it did not have much bearing on the finale.

I went into the finale with low expectations, partially because of the pattern I’d been seeing in the show the past few seasons, and also because I have experienced many awful finales of shows in the past. I was 99% sure that Nandermo was not going to happen. I didn’t think that Colin would learn the truth about Laszlo raising him. The characters would probably continue seeing Guillermo as below them and Guillermo would keep taking it.

The finale made me feel a bit better about how I’d been feeling actually. They addressed a lot of the issues I had with the last few seasons of the show like the characters never growing or changing, showing that it was deliberate. I personally didn’t like their decision to do that but at least I knew I wasn’t crazy. There were also funny moments and I liked that they put focus on Guillermo and his feelings.

They addressed more about Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship than I thought they would to be honest. I loved the Nandermo ‘ending’ in the third version, and their last scene together was definitely hinting at things, however I could see how someone could see that as baiting. And maybe it was, I don’t know.

I’m used to being queerbaited by ships where either neither of the characters were queer or only one of them was but they were killed or something, so baiting between two queer characters is confusing. Is calling it shipbaiting more accurate? I know there were no long-term same-sex romantic relationships on the show despite all the characters being queer other than Guillermo and Freddie (which did not last long and ended in a horrible joke), but does that make it queer baiting or just not great representation?

Overall I can honestly understand the people who loved the finale and the people who hated it. I think it all comes down to expectations and preferences, as well as how invested in the show people were.

I’m thinking of doing a rewatch of the show now and taking notes to better gather my thoughts and opinions. Who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind on some things.

Anyway that’s just my personal thoughts and opinions. Please be kind to each other.

[deadthingposting]

Man imagine you are nandor

Weather or not you have romantic feelings for your familiar is besides the point but you truly like the guy and cares about him a lot, familiars are supposed to be those disposable little things that you shouldn't give a shit about, but you care about your familiar , so much so you actually planned to turn him despite considering vampirism a curse

Then you fuck up

Like A real fuck up

You did fucked up before but this time something seem to have actually been broken

And at first everything seems to be alright but then he started drifting away, avoiding you, worse he starts hanging out with Laszlo for the only thing you are insecure about things involving intelligence.

You tried to get his attention but it didn't work at all

And then Nadja gets into as well, and you are not that stupid for fucks sake, they are hiding something from you, your only two friends and your familiar/bodyguard/best man/friend (lover maybe?) Are hiding something from you .

And when you discover its worse than anything you could've thought, he betrayed you, got turned behind your back by some nobody but not only that all your fears were confirmed once he had the fucking bite he distanced himself from you he threw you away like an old toy, worse your two roommates now without the disgust for his existence as a familiar choose him over you because now they see the brilliant creature he is, he has Laszlo's intelligence he has Nadjas thirst for power he can be a better friend to them more well matched

And it didn't matter even why they choose him

And you are more than ever a fur little speck of dust in a lonely uncaring universe

[russian-spider]

i can't stop thinking about the Implications of nandor's reasons to not turn guillermo. his behaviour has been contradictory from the start, but we blamed it on him being 1) repressed 2) dumb and 3) selfish. he was looking for someone to turn and spend eternity with and there there was guillermo wanting nothing more. didn't he see it? did he not know guillermo loves him? must be that, right? but i think he always knew, i think back in s2 when guillermo told him about celeste and nandor was grimacing waiting for what he had to say, he thought guillermo was going to confess his love and make things weird. then in s4 he expected guillermo to be jealous and, more importantly, he was disappointed when guillermo wasn't. does he not know he is also in love with guillermo? because he is in love. thanks to marwa we know he wants to hug and kiss guillermo, but he denies himself. why?? they want the same thing and nandor knows what guillermo wants and if he also knows what he himself wants, what's stopping him? why would he be aloof, why would he try to keep his distance, to not admit to guillermo things that he now admits to the cameras (like wanting to impress him), why would he be vulnerable with people he trusts and knows way less than guillermo? why? well, now we know the answer. because he knows him better than anyone, and he knows it won't end well. someone like gail he can try to persuade, but not guillermo. guillermo would say yes and then regret it. it speaks volumes that the closer nandor got to hug guillermo was after offering to turn him in his homeland when he said there will plenty of time for that kind of thing, when he thought guillermo was ready to be a vampire, when he thought maybe things had changed and guillermo really wanted it. he was saying not now, i can't trust it yet, but soon, maybe, if everything goes well. it didn't.

[ladykatibeth]

Why Guillermo Turning Back Human Was An Awful Writing Choice, A Meta

So here’s the thing, for a “what you want isn’t what you need” plot to make sense and improve a story, it has to do one of two things

1. Convincingly establish that the want and the need are mutually exclusive or

2. That the need is more beneficial to certain goals (especially emotional fulfillment ones) than the want.

It also has to establish that the need hasn’t already been met somewhere else, and that the reasoning behind discarding the want makes sense.

What does/has Guillermo wanted? His main 13 year goal, vampirism. He worked unpaid for years, got people killed, dealt with disrespect and completely fucked up his sleeping schedule to achieve this.

There’s a few things I think of that Guillermo could reasonably be said to need based on the show so far:

1. A community/family outside of his biological one

2. Respect from the Vampires, especially Nandor

3. To explore/get in touch with himself/his roots

4. Stay in touch with bio family

5. Gain confidence

6. Deal with his repression

7. Experience human things he may have been missing out on due to his chosen profession

8. Expanded social network

9. Maybe resolve his Nandor feelings?

Unfortunately none of these meet the requirements, they have all already been achieved or aren’t mutually exclusive.

Guillermo has in his own words two families, he has achieved this, as far back as season three he’s using his position in the family to get political favors but still a little excluded….(Note: The vampires assume Guillermo will be around, it’s The Guide who makes him go to the closet, and that lasts like…an episode?)

By 4 he’s included in the 5 person co-parenting of Colin Robinson, gets his own space in the home improvement show, is Nandor’s literal best man, helps Nandor negotiate wishes, is employed in finance at the nightclub….

(Note: Guillermo taking on a care taking role still is not something that’s exclusive with being in a family, in his own words he takes care of people he considers family just as a matter of who he is)

So….not unfulfilled. Also knocks off 2, in S4 he’s included in everything, he’s fairly respected he’s fairly confident (more on this later) even if one made the argument that he needs to have this achieved /as himself/ first…he has. As his regular human self. It wouldn’t be less as a vampire. It fulfills neither 1 or 2 or 3 for this plot.

Okay so…3 and 5 go together. Guillermo needs to connect with himself as a badass slayer, gotten some power not necessitated by being . a vampire, and gain some confidence, be more willing to stick up for him—

……..

*Looks at all of S2 and S3* hmmmm

So Guillermo up until now has killed hundreds of vampires, extremely well, become super badass, beat Nandor in 2 fights, figured out how to balance his inherited vampire murder instincts and his love of vampires….well…seems like a success. He’s a badass vampire slayer. He’s connected with his background.

He feels comfortable making fun of and criticizing the vampires (the perfect FUCKING wedding, so she’s your number 2…., his “is that necessary” about Nandor and Laszlos tmi details, bickers with Nadja about her need for a golden toilet…) he’s got confidence. He can stick up for himself. So 3 and 5…..not relevant.

Get respect from Nandor.

Nandor calls him a badass slayer multiple times. He calls him a warrior, let’s Guillermo bicker at him, respects his advice (see Nandor and Guillermo negotiating with the Djinn) makes him his best man, calls Guillermo his closest companion…..as a familiar…

Sure there’s Freddie…but honestly I don’t think Nandor wouldn’t also do that to a vampire. Nandor is in general…a huge bitch (Queen bitch ha)

Which brings me to 6 and 9

Since we’ve already seen Guillermo be respected by Nandor as a human and we know Nandor dates human women regularly there’s no issue with him being in a relationship with Guillermo when he’s a vampire. It wouldn’t imply it’s necessary for him to be a vampire to date, because of the background info we know. Him resolving his feelings is species neutral.

Same with dealing with his repression, he doesn’t need to be a human or vampire to do that.

So maybe it’s the human things he missed out on which as far as I can think might be…sunlight? And going on dates…

He goes on dates with his boyfriend Freddie during the day, very normal and human…he enjoys it! That must be it!

His long distance English boyfriend. Who he doesn’t need to commit much to. Then when he’s upset with Nandor for the whole two Freddie’s thing…it’s about Nandor and Guillermo. Not Freddie and Guillermo.

Guillermo’s upset, but not enough to hold a long term grudge. He seems to mostly care about experiencing mundanity….as a concept not a practice

He quickly goes back to the uze, aside from food and the sun (which he’s already sacrificing somewhat (food quality and day time) but still experiencing while he’s been working. Anything else can be done at night. As a vampire.

His family…Well Guillermo’s mother calmly let Nandor look at his baby photos, a vampire she has no personal connection to, and was quickly waved off from talking to Guillermo. Nothing implies this will be the line. Guillermo keeps himself from killing his vampiric loved ones on the regular.

So 4 and 7 cleared.

Expanded social network….the witches, Derek, Jenna, also if Laszlo from the 18th century can make human friends there’s no reason a vampire Guillermo has to stop.

None of these things are mutually exclusive with being a vampire, he’s already achieved all the emotional fulfillment things as a human familiar…the needs are met.

Okay so…..

What does it make sense for Guillermo to want? To really think about as a human?

Family? Check for bio and vamp. New career options? He can do that as a vampire and I don’t see the show going in that direction. Nandor? He can do that as a vampire. Respect? Gained. Power? Gained. Confidence? Gained.

What can Guillermo being a human still add to the narrative…

Oh we can see human Guillermo with newfound respect and confidence being part of the family!

Wait we’ve already seen that, in season 4! Multiple times! That’s just a repeat of 4!

Guillermo as a full vampire?

What does this add?

Well….

How does he handle his new powers? We get to see Nandor guiding Guillermo through his new experiences (cute). How does he handle his family? Does he hide it? Is he comically bad at it? Do they get a new familiar? How does he handle that? Is he more lenient? Does he think they need to earn it like he did?

How does Nandor adjust to vampire Guillermo? How does Guillermo adjust to not the sunlight and food restrictions? Oooh we’d get to see him learn how to hunt….What about technically being a member of the same species now, but one that’s still very very young in comparison?

It adds a lot. Questions and concepts. You want a narrative that adds interest. That’s why this route was the worst to take.

It didn’t leave new room to facilitate character growth that wasn’t already there in season 3 and 4. The reasoning for hesitation doesn’t make sense based on Guillermo’s character. He spent 13 years doing murder and murder adjacent things.

(And seriously if I was one of Guillermo’s victims I’d hate him so much more if I found out he was 100% fine with feeding me to his friends but it wasn’t even to become a vampire,I died for, I guess, nothing)

It’s the same concept as previously, it actively stifles concept exploration….its not about Guillermo having to get what he wants, its just bad for the story! It’s a poor use of this trope.

It doesn’t make it more interesting. There’s so much humor possibilities for human Guillermo too. It wasn’t a necessary reset.

It wasn’t even necessary to show nandermo as possible, Nandor has always loved Guillermo in the show, he put in the time to make him glitter art! In S1 E1! Plus this ships is at its best when it’s a little mutually toxic! Mutually! Key word!

It’s just…….it adds nothing. The worst thing a writer can do.

[wolfnight2012]

So, how are we feeling about the theory that Nandor has been floating around the idea of turning Guillermo (or maybe even had a set date??) this season & thats part of why Laszlo & Nadja have reacted so strongly to Guillermo's (half) turning?

I didn't give Laszlo's whole "I'll convince Nandor to bite you" beyond it being a desperate (and delusional) plan from a panicked Laszlo trying to spare Nandor a terrible pain

BUT

In 5x06 Nadja claims Guillermo could have "been turned by a legend"

And she sounds really upset about that as well. Not just Guillermo's betrayal/how hurt Nandor will be, but that Guillermo wasted his turning. Which wouldn't make sense, unless she knew Nandor had started floating the idea seriously?

It would also mean Laszlo's plan to make Guillermo human again so Nandor can bite him a solid one. I 100% doubt Laszlo could convince Nandor to bite Guillermo if 5 years of Guillermo begging (and at points crying) for Nandor to turn him didn't sway him.

However, if Nandor had been considering it off-screen, AND both Laszlo & Nadja were aware of this, then these reactions/plans make more sense.

I can only imagine we'd be given thee most painful reveal, like, Nandor happily telling Guillermo he'll be making him a vampire now & Guillermo just immediately blurting out "I asked Derek to bite me" </3

[therelentless]

[DRUNKEN] After a few too many drinks, the sender leans on the receiver and slurs, "You know I've always loved you, right?" (but like also canon when Guillermo is hopped up on vet drugs)

Accidental Declaration of Love starters ;; @himbohotel

It had been a long night, especially for Guillermo. One second he had been a vampire, the next he was back to being a human. He was unable to understand how that might feel, it was a feeling that would remain forever unknown to him. He could only imagine that what he had just gone through hadn't been easy, and therefore, he could not blame him for going out of his way to drink more than he probably thought was able to handle.

He was left alone to manage the situation at hand by himself after everyone else came to the conclusion that this was his problem and his responsibility, but honestly? he would have done it even if he hadn't been told to do so (after all, who knew for how much longer Guillermo was going to stick around).

He sat him on his bed, not without first eyeing the remains of the footlocker that he had gotten him for the day he believed to be his birthday. In an attempt to have him feel more comfortable, he got on one knee to remove Guillermo's shoes, but stopped when the other got closer to him and uttered those words. 'You know I've always loved you, right?' -- He froze, as a series of emotions ran through him. It was a mix of disbelief, happiness, but mostly heartache.

How ironic. Now that Guillermo didn't want to be a vampire, now that he didn't want the gift of immortal life, these words meant more than what they could have meant just a couple of nights ago. Before he would have believed that such confession had only been made to make sure that he would turn him into the vampire Guillermo thought he wanted to be, but now? what could he gain with it? nothing, and yet, he knew it would be better for him as well as for Guillermo to not give these words the importance that they deserved. No, better said, he could not let him know how such words had impacted him and will continue to do so for the upcoming years. It was better to not pay mind to them and move on. He had already kept him here for thirteen years, stealing and taking from him whatever opportunities of having a life outside of the walls of this residence he could have had. He could have continued to do so, because the truth was that, well, in his own strange and selfish way, he loved him too.

"Del be del râh dâre."

Unfortunately, there was nothing for him in this house now, and nothing for Nandor himself in the future.

There was a long silence, that was broken with a sigh. "You do now, but hopefully soon enough you won't." His eyes never met his as he put his hands on his shoulders and slowly pushed him away from him. "But... maybe in another place, another life, two, three, four hundred years down the road, when somehow we meet again, I don't know... we can make it work." How stupid his own words sounded as if this was even a possibility, but he could hope, couldn't he? even if it wasn't possible, even if it was meant to never happen, he could hope and dream. What else did he have left to do if not that?

In him, there was a new sensation of that loneliness that he had been feeling for the last 700 years taking a new shape. It felt heavier, making him feel in a way more empty, it was the feeling of what it could have been if things had worked out for them. -- Finally, his eyes looked at him. He wanted to touch him, hug him, and put his hand on his cheek to have him look at him. Yes, he even thought of kissing him, but just like he had fought these urges before, he did so this night again, limiting his actions to only removing his glasses to put them on top of the small fridge.

He stood up straight and hid his hands behind his back before taking a step back. "Now sleep. You're going to feel like shit tomorrow."

[thebennsofdallas]

Nandor the Relentless, for the win!

I have a confession to make. I’m a Nandor-is-really-smart-he’s-just-grown-lazy-over-700-years truther. He couldn’t have become Supreme Viceroy, ruling over an empire, by being a big dummy. Now, yes, there is much evidence over the centuries to disprove this — the many, many, many undeserving men who became powerful without a brain in their head — but Nandor the Relentless is not one of those (imho). 

Nandor has been a vampire for centuries. And life as a vampire is a shiftless, isolating, chaotic existence. They don’t have to try hard to do anything. They can move things, light stuff on fire, hypnotize people to do their will with a wave of their hand. And, in addition, Nandor has struggled with his mental health, too, the one thing that he has no control over. So, he has become complacent, unmotivated, depressed, lonely.

But this year, there’s been a decided change in Nandor. He is OKAY. He recovered his commander mode, like during the pep talk he gave the house when he thought their lives were in danger. He’s laughed more than we’ve seen. Where last year, he was jealous of Laszlo’s closeness with Sean, now, he’s at ease calling the two of them best friends. 

And with the return of Nandor’s spirit and wisdom, his competency and his keen understanding, he faced the catastrophes in these last two episodes with renewed focus.

1) He’s been saying it for years, and Guillermo strongly disagreed, but Nandor knew that Guillermo wasn’t ready to be a vampire; as Nandor said, he knows Guillermo better than anyone. We believed that Nandor was just being a selfish dick about turning him. We believe Nandor has abandonment issues and maybe there is an element of that. But Nandor was telling the truth. Nandor said when the time was right, he would do it. And HE knew that the time wasn’t right.

2) When Patton Oswald (!) puts a bug in his ear about repairing his relationship with Guillermo rather than destroy it, Nandor does something truly deceitful and diabolical. And smart. He uses Guillermo’s dear mamá as bait to lure him in for their final confrontation. Nandor may pretend to know nothing of the things Guillermo does outside of the vampire house but he knows how much Guillermo loves his mamá. The superior little smirk on Nandor’s face when he’s on the phone with Guillermo and knows that he has Guillermo right where he wants him is smoking hot.

3) And when Guillermo arrives, the (sexual) tension goes through the roof. Nandor, again, with the smirky face while sitting on the sofa with Silvia, looking at photos of young Guillermo. He’s got the upper hand and he knows it. He’s the victor. He has a plan in motion and, of course, he knows Guillermo better than anyone. He knows that Guillermo won’t kill him.

4) Nandor has the answer to Guillermo’s slow, sluggish transformation. Laszlo, the man of science, didn’t have it after days of experimentation but Nandor did. He knows, at once, even in the midst of learning of Guillermo’s turning, he knows the Van Helsing blood is the problem. And later, when Guillermo comes home, he knows that he needs to taste human blood to complete the transformation and he has some ready to go. Another win for the very smart Supreme Viceroy.

5) And finally, when his fears about Guillermo’s readiness are confirmed, he is immediately proactive. On his own, Nandor conjures an elaborate ritual (with robes and banners!) to, in a way, allow Guillermo to save face. Nandor not only forgives Guillermo his transgression but helps him return to his former self. He reassures him afterwards, letting his hand rest on Guillermo’s shoulder for a long moment. He’s not afraid of Guillermo’s nearness anymore. Nandor is not afraid of anything anymore.

The low point of Nandor’s life — the Wellness cult disaster and the attempt at super slumber — is well behind him now. He’s regained a large measure of confidence in himself. He accepts the limitations of his eternal life and in doing so, he is able to look forward without the weight of that dark dread on his broad shoulders. His future is filled with those people that he can now view as his family — Nadja, Laszlo and even Colin Robinson. And his relationship with his good friend, Guillermo, his closest companion of almost 14 years, is brimming with promise. 

[karofsky]

I've been thinking about the very real possibility of Laszlo finding a cure a lot lately, and just generally how much I'd love to see the gang as humans-- not necessarily permanently or endgame, but just... for a little bit.

Like, they've all been in such ruts, probably much, much longer than we've known them, but certainly more now that they've all grown so close to Guillermo. And with Guillermo, and his purpose being to bring a sense of humanity back to everyone, it really would do them all well to experience life again, just to put their current (good!) lives into a better perspective.

Nandor grew up in war, Nadja grew up in poverty, and Laszlo grew up literally never smiling. They deserve to experience real humanity again now that they're allowed to have peace and love in their lives. Laszlo experiencing sunlight for the first time was moving enough, so just imagine how much older vamps like Nadja and especially Nandor would bask in it. They could all eat food they've never dreamed of, go places they've never been without worrying, meet people they never would have met. For the first time in hundreds of years they don't have to shut their brain off and take a life to feed. And doing it all together, as a fucked up little polycule family, for the first time ever.

And like, being human sucks, and they can lean into that a lot! Even Guillermo just being there means he's basically got a bunch of toddlers on leashes making sure they don't run into traffic. But those issues can just be... so funny. Just simple goofy Human Things that shouldn't be funny but are funny because we've never SEEN these characters in these situations. Who doesn't want to see theme at a theme park, or starting a bar fight because they're all assholes, or someone learning they have food allergies, or just simply the running gag of Laszlo hopping in place while trying to BAT! and forgetting that he just can't do that.

Then at the end of the day, hey, surprise, they all want to be vampires! Because being a vampire is cool when you're not like, horribly depressed or don't see the joys of life or don't know what you want to do with your time. They literally all could just use a good metaphorical Lay On The Floor to embrace it all.

Also it's like... maybe one or two of them DO end up do having mixed feelings. Imagine what would happen if only one half of Ladja decided they wanted to stay a human? Or if they wanted to enough for them to try to have a child they didn't know they wanted? Or maybe The Guide gets wrapped into this and she's like, I fell in love with this human, I didn't get to have a life in the past, I don't even REMEMBER my life in the past, I think maybe this would be way more fun. Or in the same vein, Colin now KNOWS he is stuck in this vicious cycle, and maybe he doesn't want to keep at it? He doesn't like not remembering, and he certainly doesn't like having to put others through it all, and he maybe there's something that means he can't just be a Normal Vampire so he just ends up having to decide if he wants to go back to that.

And then like... the Nandor of it all. Arguably the most tragic of them, given his past and his present and now his future. While it's undeniable that Guillermo's arc SHOULD end with him turning (and turning the right way for the right reasons), right now it's like... that's it for Nandor. Nandor did so much in that finale, including killing another vampire, JUST to be able to offer what he can never have to the one person in hundreds of years that he really has ever connected with on this level. And now that person has an official time limit, and he has to deal with that, and it's just... he deserves to get what he wants as much as everyone else, and what he's wanted for the entire show is someone who understands and accepts and loves him. And while there's a very real and relatable feeling of him having to accept that "everything good ends"... why not let him decide he would rather it end together. Nandor giving up immortality just to live out a full real life with Guillermo is the most romantic shit they could do. Full Iris by Goo Goo Dolls moment. They'd be equals, and neither of them would carry the guilt of living the other's dreams in front of them, and they'd no longer be living with that danger that's hung over them.

And again, like... they should all end up vampires. That's fucking rad and they are just so special and are people who WANT to do (an albeit untraditional) good and enjoy life to the fullest. But damn, if a dynamic and perspective change for them all wouldn't open up a whole realm of possibilities for both the show's comedy and their deeper character growth.

[indigayghost]

Ok im not even try to make this coherent I'm not on the state of mind to write beautiful things but i do need to talk about this because I feel like my body is exploding

Just..... Just..........everythinf that happened........

We've been with these vampires for five years, we know who they are, we know what they love, we've seen them in their lowest and in their highest

The talk when they're in the cages, yes they were trying to appease the Guide but they weren't lying in the slightest

Yeah they are beings full of love and yet they make themselves look tough and uncaring and this season reaaaaally talked about it

We see the vampires caring for each other more than ever this season, we see them fighting for each other, saving each other, giving up their life for each other

We see Laszlo giving everything he has trying to fix Guillermo, we see him failing and failing again and ultimately giving up but "I'm not giving up on you"

We see Nadja fighting blood and nail to save Guillermo! He's theirs! Nobody can take him away!

We see them helping Guillermo out, we see them teaching him how to be a vampire

And when the baron wants to kill him, we see them begging please let him go

We see Nandor saying I know you better than anyone and we brush it off and then

And then we see that he is right. He knows Guillermo better than anyone. He's been knowing him since the beginning. Guillermo is a kind soul. He's a warrior. He would kill and die for me, but he won't kill for himself.

We see Guillermo struggling with this for quite some time. I mean, I'm in the killer Guillermo gang, but textually every single time he killed he did it for someone else.

He loves so so much and he would do anything for the people he loves, but he won't take someone's life for his on benefit, that's to much for him.

And Nandor knew that. Nandor knows him. Nandor said it to him two seasons ago and we thought well he was talking about himself and he is! But he's talking about Guillermo too.

Because Guillermo is too kind, he was always too kind, and vampirism is a curse

We see Guillermo saying I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you and we see Nandor hurting

We see him talking to Patton Oswald and he says

Killing a friend would be the worst thing in the world and he means it

And he doesn't kill Guillermo, and he would never kill him

We see the vampires one by one visiting Guillermo, the same vampires who said well if one of us die we just paint them off of our lives

We see Laszlo legitimately sad, he feels so bad, he feels guilty, he feels like he didn't do enough and auuuuurgh that's so abrrrrrrrbrrbebbrbrbrb and he says I know you since you were a little familiar

And the thing the thing is

Nandor and Laszlo are being two sides of this thing

In one side we have Laszlo who completely loves to be a vampire. He was turned by the woman he loves, he didn't lose anything, eternal life is a joy for him, he was alone before, and now he isn't

And then we have Nandor, who lost everything. And sometimes is easy to forget and say Nandor is just a big dumb boy, but he is so so old and he is so so wise. Eternal life took everything from Nandor, he lost his family, his people, he lost his language, and for almost a millenia he wandered alone and we see this, we see this desperately lonely vampire try again and again to get someone, anyone, to be with him forever and we thought ough he's so dumb that person is right there!

But then! He isn't! Because he knows Guillermo better than anyone and he knows Guillermo will be unhappy and he knows he can't persue Guillermo because he loves guillermo and Guillermo loves him and Guillermo will do everything for the people he loves so maybe maybe if he asks Guillermo will turn into a vampire and he will be eternally unhappy and that's something Nandor won't be able to do because he cares too much about Guillermo, because he knows Guillermo better than anyone, and he will prefer to be alone forever than to hurt Guillermo like that

And he makes all those things, he prepared a whole cerimony for Guillermo, he did all of this knowing knowing that if he shut his mouth he could keep Guillermo forever, some time Guillermo would get used to it, but he can't see him unhappy, so he prepares everything knowing Guillermo would chose to be human and knowing he was signing up for loneliness and he does it anyway because he loves guillermo and he would do anything for Guillermo the same way Guillermo does for him and he is so kind the whole time, there is a understanding in Nandor's eyes there that we never saw, there's such a sad sad feeling of mourn there because he is killing what he ever wanted but he's doing it for Guillermo

And yeah there was a little bit of his jealous speaking there when he jumped for the stake to kill Derek, but there's also a really sweet gesture. Killing Derek will make Guillermo happy and even so Guillermo can't do it, because it was his choice, it was his fault, and he can't hurt Derek, and Nandor steps in and say I'll break the most sacred vampire rule for you, for your happiness, even if it means losing mine

And then laszlo helping Guillermo afterwards? I'm so so ready to see them next season

Also Nadja saying if I knew you wouldn't kill Guillermo I would've told you to do it already and get over it is such the statement! This is what they do! They care deeply about each other but they pretend they don't!

Anyway, I loved the finale, I think there's some really deep themes we can play with in fics. I understand how some may feel quite unhappy with it and honestly yeah I'm a bit too, I love to see unhinged Guillermo and I really wanted to see him accepting his fate as a munderer but well, I guess we can't really have everything

I'm really curious of how they'll handle this the next season, maybe we'll see Guillermo doing other things, searching for a new dream or whatever. Bwcause now he will really need to accept the real reason why he stayed with the vampires, he can't run away from it, we can't run away from it and the showrunners can't really run away from it too, this is a question I think will be the grand arc of the next season and well, until there we have plenty of time for thousands of angsty fanfics

[ineffably-human]

Hey there, vampire family, let's talk about sex. (Again. Because I think I've written some of the broad strokes here once before.)

I see a lot of people saying Nandermo is on its way because Nandor realizes how he feels now. And I am not trying to kill the party vibe, seriously I'm not. But I think he's still got a lot of dots to connect. Nandor knows 'Guillermo matters to me' and 'I am doing this thing to impress Guillermo' and 'I am mad Guillermo finds this other person more interesting', all of which says Guillermo is a very important friend who can make him do stupid shit - but certainly isn't someone he loves or would consider a romantic partner.

On the flip side, and this may be contributing to Guillermo's status as a vampire: I think Guillermo's sexuality is blossoming, but he's still holding back. Guillermo has always framed sex as something he doesn't want to talk about, because that's an inhibition he was raised with (and he was closeted to boot). He has heart-eyes aplenty for Nandor, he's been jealous of Nandor's relationships, but it's never clear he's yearning for anything more physical than a hug.

I still don't think he knows that's something he wants from the relationship. In fact, he wants to close his eyes and walk away from most sex he sees - even though he's been surrounded by the weirdest, kinkiest, most casual sex for well over a decade, as part of the very lifestyle he wants. (And Nadja's now confirmed, the vampires fuck each other all the time.)

That doesn't even change with Freddie, by the way, where they awkward-hug hello and walk arm in arm. Then we cut to him walking in on Freddie and Nandor snuggling naked in furs. He doesn't ever kiss Freddie, but Freddie's clone does. The contrast could not be more clear.

Guillermo's said that he doesn't feel any sexier, like he expects being a vampire to change that for him. But does that mean it would make him more desirable or more open to desire?

(And if Guillermo is some form of ace that's totally fine too, of course, it'd be so cool to have an ace vampire of all things. But I don't know if the show's going there. And it'd be weird if Guillermo's dream this whole time was actually some kind of forced self-conversion therapy.)

But he's making inroads. Last year he came out and had a boyfriend, however chaste that was. Whether Guillermo is a virgin or not, his bungled turning is treated like a horrible first sexual experience - we've all talked about that by now. And if you contrast that with Guillermo's Pride experience...

Even in the scene before the space thing, his conversation with Nandor hits different. Guillermo's vibe with Nandor is different than everyone else in the house, and his reaction to Nandor going to space feels downright flirty. And I am fascinated with how the show frames Nandor's descent: Guillermo reacting to Nandor crashing with 'oh my God' (and the vampiric reaction that gives him, a sudden puff of smoke, aka heat!). Nandor looming over Guillermo naked to gloat, before he ever approaches the crowd. For a moment, the joke isn't that Nandor's a bare-assed flaming disaster in front of everyone. It's something that's completely between the two of them.

And then they're walking side by side, a true duo again for the first time in a while, when they come across the rest of the household - and Guillermo immediately nopes out. Which, well, is understandable. There's a lot of reasons he doesn't want to touch that, literally.

But Nandor asks, "are you sure?" Because in his head he just got his friend back, and sex to Nandor is as casual as breathing.

Sex as a vampire is just something you do, and any deep emotion is secondary and special. I think it's a mental hurdle Guillermo has to navigate, either by some sort of supernatural change or (I suspect) just understanding what that means to him. And I think they're going to sleep together in a casual way - maybe as part of that sexy-gross episode Paul Simm has been teasing, which certainly sounds like a vampire orgy to me - before Nandor realizes he's feeling anything like love.

But it's going to feel different than anything else in the room. And that's going to uncork some things for both of them - very different things, but both coming to the same conclusion.

[megaawkwardhuman]

*slowly puts on tinfoil hat* 1000TH NEW PROMO AND OMFG YA BOY HAS SOME THOUGHTS ON IT

we're getting to the point where we're going to get A LOT of new promos which yay for new shit!

SOOOOO

I'M HALF RIGHT?

OK SO the promo clearly has multiple clips from the next season BUT focusing on the ones that at least I could put together at some point not just nandor know but I think they all know?

by the looks of it there's going to be an episode where laszlo reveals what he and guillermo have been testing cuz we see who I'm assuming is laslzo asking about things vampires can do

then later we see the rice scene and nadja commenting on guillermo attempting to fly

so I think it's safe to say the whole guillermo trying to get turned but it getting fucked up thing probably won't be a secret for TOO long (low key kinda glad)

my main question now is WHAT leads to them telling them?

cuz this is very obviously not the first episode so what the fuck happens that causes laszlo to call in back up?

I'm assuming this isn't too late into the season and nothing BIG happens that causes them to spill

I mean they probably tell them at the end of an episode and them all collectively trying to test guillermo's vampyness (yes I know that's not a word) will take up an entire episode by the looks of it

so maybe either they hit a block, not that long after asking laszlo for help he tells the group, or guillermo feels that the rest should know about this so he gets laszlo to tell them cause maybe they're more likely to believe him

maybe we've (or at least I've) been reading the whole laszlo and guillermo spending more time together thing wrong and while he knows it's for a good reason nandor is jealous not just because laszlo is spending more time with guillermo but because he's learning how to be a vampire with someone else?

cause like even if it's just tests and there's a real chance he could be unturnable since he's been there for guillermo ever since day 1 he wants to be there for him when he finally figures out what's going on with him good or bad

maybe to him this is like teaching a kid how to ride a bike and he doesn't want to miss a second of it

buuuut due to how weird this all is he instead turned to laszlo instead of him and well nandor can't help but be jealous of laz taking not only guillermo's time but valuable moments nandor wants to have with guillermo that he possibly won't get now

BUT ALL OF THAT IS UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT LASZLO TELLS THEM WHY HE NEEDS A LIST OF THINGS VAMPIRES DO

it's also possible laz just asks them and doesn't tell them why or comes up with an excuse

my original theory of nandor just thinking they're testing myths could still stand

nandor could also just wanna spend more time with guillermo even if he has no idea what they're doing just cause he misses spending all his time with him and is still worried he's growing distant ever since the crate incident and freddie fuck fest

idk it's 4 am I should really be heading to bed 😅

SIDE NOTE SINCE I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO PUT IT INTO ITS OWN POST

I personally think this scene will be a moment where guillermo thinks about telling nandor about the whole derek thing but for one reason or another (something nandor says, not know how he'll react, feeling bad etc etc) he doesn't tell him and instead just wishes him a good night

like that's the face of a man who's about to say something but instead says something else to not hurt anyone (IDK COULD JUST BE ME)

[scarlettblack24]

So I finally watched wwdits season finale and I have to admit I’m confused…and angry about many things that are happening with this show. This is mostly me just getting these thoughts out of my head and trying to understand but feel free to comment if you’d like.

Why is Guillermo scared of Nandor coming to kill him? Did they not fight in hand to hand combat in the previous season? I thought he won but pretended to lose so Nandor didn’t look weak. Why would he be scared now?

Despite that has he not had the opportunity to destroy Nandor multiple times throughout the entire show? Did he not say to him “You live because I allow it.”? What did I miss? Where he the Guillermo that destroyed an entire theater of vampires?! Where did he go?!

Guillermo can very much fight Nandor and win and this was before we got some vampire powers! What is making him think he would lose in a fight with Nandor now?!

And I don’t care what anyone says! He went to Derek because he wanted to be a vampire and he went for it! I hate this shit of “well a familiar insults his master if he goes to someone else to be turned”. Fuck that.

In the wwdits film Jackie got Nick to turn her! Didn’t see Deacon kill her! Just talked shit about her like he always talked shit about her! It made no difference to her, she got to live her best vampire life!

Oh but Nandor had a feeling Guillermo would be too soft to be a vampire! So he continued to use him as his servant and treat him like shit for over 13 years as well as letting the other vampires in the house do the same? Hmm sounds abusive to me.

There’s no doubt Nandor cares about Guillermo, BUT he treats him like crap! Making someone your servant isn’t love. Yes, he gave him the opportunity to avoid a lifestyle he couldn’t handle but then he continues to allow him to be his servant! Ugh!!!

I will admit Guillermo’s relationships with the other vampires improved this season. Laszlo was there for him as well as Nadja but they’re still awful to him. Even The Guide realized what a kind person he was and pointed out to them how much they treat him like crap!

But I guess Guillermo cares for them! Sure, why not?! I guess if you treat someone awful but stick by them for many years that builds love and caring??? This is great lesson particularly for younger people. If they treat you crap BUT stay by your side they love you!

Nope. Don’t like that.

My biggest question is now that Guillermo doesn’t want to be a vampire anymore what is the motivation? What are we supposed to look forward to? Please don’t tell me Nandermo because I don’t want that anymore. I don’t feel good about it.

And what about the damn wishes?!?! Didn’t the Djinn give Nandor a smaller lamp with three wishes?! What happened to that?! Ugh!!!

I really think season six should be the last one. Unless by some miracle they come up with a great storyline that makes sense and doesn’t erase character development but if not let it be the end. I’d rather have something new in this universe.

But maybe I am missing something! I don’t know!

[zebrashavestripes]

The final chapter of The Moon, The Wolf, And The Languages Of Love is out! I had so much fun writing this fic, you have no idea. If you wanna read it from the start you can do so here!

Extract:

“Oh my god, you really are a vampire.”

“Youch! And yes, I am. Will you be quiet? I am wanting to be eating you now.”

“Um, okay, okay, but can you maybe not kill me if you’re gonna suck my blood?”

Nandor paused. “Technically I can suck your blood without killing you but I would prefer to kill you. I sort of have this reputation of being relentless, plus I cannot have you going around telling people vampires exist. But mostly the relentless thing.”

“Okay, well,” Guillermo waved his hands around, “If you turn me then you can get my blood and then I’d become a vampire and it would be fine for me to know.”

“Oh, well…” Nandor looked at him. “I do not really turn people I have just met. You know.”

“Oh.” Guillermo felt flushed, tingly. “Oh, you mean–”

“Yes, usually I get to know them first.”

Soft, but damning, “I’d like that.”