#well i mean the merch is real but everything else is speculation to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

halfgclden · 4 years ago

Audio

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

#c: jade #c: jadejoel #a major occurance

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demonsforfriends · 5 years ago

Text

Just having a quiet moment to myself to sit and think about everything that's happened in the last week or so, and reflect on what's going on in my life right now.

It's been 3 weeks now since I've been in isolation and it's been a blessing in disguise. I didn't realise how much I needed time to just hermit and be at home and not mixing with the outside world. It's been over 3 weeks since I dissociated last, and that's something of a record for me. Even though we're having money worries, the same as everyone else, anxiety levels have dropped significantly.

Last week, we hit a bit of a bump. Well, a big bump actually. While anxiety has been a lot more manageable, there's been a lot of random depressive spells, and last week out of nowhere, I hit a wall, completely snapped, and made a really irrational, split second decision to end my life, and just went out on autopilot. For a moment, I was completely overwhelmed, felt like I was the source of all that's wrong with everything, felt like everyone's lives would be better without me in it and was just completely exhausted with the state of the world.

I struggle to do and understand a lot of things. Basic things, like working out how I feel, and talking about it, and dealing and acting on a single emotion. Feeding myself when I'm hungry. Showering when I need to. Understanding people's feelings and intentions. It's so difficult and confusing to the point of tears sometimes. But at the same time, I feel so so deeply, I just can't do anything about it a lot of the time, and not for lack of trying either. When I can actually pick up on it, I can feel deeper for others than I can myself. I've speculated in the past that I have autism, and never really thought anything of it, I just brushed it off and carried on. More recently, it's felt more and more like something I need to confront and deal with. Anyway, when I was off on my little suicide mission, I had a moment of clarity and I stopped. I turned my phone back on, and listened to the voicemail that my fiancée had left me and it absolutely broke my heart. She was so scared, and hurt, and confused and could barely speak for crying and it wrote me off. For a moment, I had a flash of confusion, which quickly turned to anger and self loathing. How could she love me? I'm so obsessed with perfection, but I am so imperfect, the exact opposite of the thing I've spent my entire life chasing, and trying to be. But as quickly as the anger came on, it dissolved. All I wanted to do was go home and make her feel better. I've always said that her happiness is my happiness, and I'll probably always stand by that. I went home, had a chat with the police, went with the ambulance crew to the hospital, spoke to the mental health teams, and went home to her. I felt so much remorse. We have regular mental health check ups with each other anyway, but that night we really talked a lot, about what I want, why I can't ever do anything for myself and the general day to day struggled that I have, and ups and downs that I have, and how to deal with my autism better. She also tried to work out how to love me better, which made me kinda sad, because there's no way she could do more for me than she already does, but she vowed to stick to it nonetheless. I've always believed her when she tells me she loves me, but somehow I believe her more now than ever.

I'm so glad I didn't go through with ending my life last week. I've experienced so many beautiful moments in this last 8 days alone. Things that would seem small and insignificant to some, but have been amazing and beautiful and really meaningful to me.

The first day after everything that happened, we spent the day at home together, mostly in bed. Just being in each others company. She held me and kept me calm for most of the day. Just the pure warmth and innocence of naked skin to skin contact was amazing. Jen sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the window, and as the sun was setting, I noticed the way the skin touched her skin and outlined her body, and it was truly an amazing thing to watch, so much so that I had to capture it. Her silhouette looked perfect against the dusk sky. I had a really profound feeling of being grateful to survive the previous afternoon, else I wouldn't have lived to see that moment.

Tuesday was a really, really amazing day, start to finish. One of the best days I've had in a long long time. Once Jen got back from work, we had a parcel arrive from Ithaca, actually genuinely one of my favourite bands. When the Covid-19 lockdown started, we bought a long sleeved t-shirt from them, because A. the shirt is sick as fuck and B. just to show some love and support. To our surprise, they sent us two shirts, the one that we ordered, as well as a bonus shirt from old merch stock, as well as a sticker and a handwritten note on the back of a photo of Djamila's dog, The Ham™.

Afterwards, we got dressed and headed out to go get some food shopping, and decided to talk through the park on the way home, and came across a beautiful bed of daffodils, so of course, I had to take pictures. The one above is my favourite, of course. Jen has the most beautiful smile, especially now that I know that she's happy for real.

After we'd been home, put the shopping away and showered, we headed out again. This time, to go hunt down a good spot to try and take some good photos of the "Pink Moon". We went for a nice long walk through the woods first though. It was so quiet, all we could hear were birds singing, the water running in the stream and the ground beneath our feet.

Once we found a good spot on high ground, we sat on top of two big rocks in front of some trees, one tree in particular was a a blossom tree, and we watched the sun go down, and just sat there quietly, looking at all of the colours meld and mix in the sky.

After the sun had set, we found the best spot we could find to set up the tripod and Jen sat by for a good half an hour to 45 minutes while I tried to get the best shot I could of the moon. I am honestly so so proud of this photo, I personally think it's one of the best photos I've ever taken.

I was starting to feel as though Jen was getting bored of sitting around, while I was indulging myself, as I know I often get carried away and absorbed when I'm doing something creative, and starting to feel like I should wrap things up, but instead, she took a big interest in what I was doing, and took the time and effort to get involved in what I was doing. She came and sat with me, and asked me questions about how my camera worked, and gave it a try for herself. I remember watching her try, and adjust, and try again and I remember feeling so much love, and feeling so proud of her. No one has ever gone out of their way to involve themselves in something that I love doing the way she did, and that memory, and that picture will stick with me forever.

This is just a bonus picture of Jen, because I thought she looked really beautiful under the glow of the streetlights and the moon. 😍

The day after/yesterday, after Jen came home from work, we spend another afternoon in bed together, to have some alone time. While the sex was amazing, as it usually is, that isn't the moment that sticks out for me, it's this one, in the photo. This might be grim, or kinda gross or just too much information for some, but I don't care. Now, ever since we have been together, both of us have become more comfortable body hair, periods, and pretty much everything that our bodies do naturally and we both find it beautiful. Something I've noticed, as well, is that people don't generally tend to talk much about grooming, especially when it comes to helping your partner groom and helping your partner with self care. Well, recently, we both decided to shave together, which is something both of us had to do before to please others, even though I never really liked it. However, this time is was different. Anyway, I have quite sensitive skin, and naturally, I get a lot of ingrown hairs, this time around have had a lot and it's been very uncomfortable and at times quite painful. When we were lay in bed together, I was in a bit of discomfort with it, and without batting an eyelid, Jen picks up the tweezers, heads back down there and starts removing and relieving all of the ingrown hairs. This really sticks out to me as a really beautiful moment. She was so gentle, and I was so comfortable that I felt no pain at all. I've never met anybody who treats my body with such care and respect before as she does, and she protects and looks after it better than I do. I remember being filled with love, and I felt like it was such an intimate moment, but a gentle, innocent kind of intimacy and it was beautiful. Another moment that will stay with me for a long, long time.

Later on in the evening, we went out for another walk, this time to go and meet Jen's mother and collect some food that she had got for us. On the way there, we came across a beautiful cherry blossom tree. Cherry blossoms are both of our favourite flowers, we absolutely adore them, so I wanted to photograph them, but I'm not a tall person and the tree was very high, so I couldn't reach to get a good close up photo of the flowers. Within seconds, she gave me a piggy back and hoisted me up high so I could get close enough to take this photo. We must've looked crazy to onlookers, but it was like we were the only two people in the world.

If I had gone through with ending my life last week, I would've missed out on all of these precious moments. As I said, they may seem small or insignificant to some, but to me, they hold so much weight and meaning. All of that would've been gone, within a split second of being overwhelmed.

Jennifer Stephanie Riddell, I wouldn't be here without you. I love you, so so much, more than words will ever be able to say. I can't wait to become your wife, so that everyday for the rest of our lives, we can carry on making beautiful memories out of the little things. Every day, you give me a reason to feel love and feel grateful for being alive. I hope you realise how special you are to me, and how meaningful it is to spend my life with you, however big or small the moment is.

#personal

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welllpthisishappening · 7 years ago

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Happy Valetine's Day. Hope Justin got you chocolate and a ginormous stuffed bear with an NYR logo on it. ANYWAY, because I'm a dick, any idea what Blue Line!Emma and Killian are doing for International Commercialism and Chocolate Day?

Oh babe you ask the best questions. And I got like…a shit ton of roses. That’s definitely the most romantic description of that, right? But honestly they’re insanely gorgeous and our apartment smells fantastic and, uh…here’s this.

So imagine the timeline in The PyeongChang Triple times up a bit more with real pool-play games because that’s what’s happening in the real world now and Emma and Killian weren’t talking on Valentine’s Day in Blue Line.

Under the cut because of who I am as a person.

They made signs.

Or, rather, they made one sign because Ruby somehow found posterboard somewhere in the entire country of South Korea and Emma, finally, didn’t feel like she was the actual, physical representation of death on two legs.

So they made a sign – sitting cross-legged in the media room of the hockey arena with Roland and Henry shouting instructions and trying to grab markers out of her hand and Ruby had resolutely refused to let any one else draw the letters.

“They have to be evenly spaced,” she said, for what might have been the eight-hundredth time and they were all taking this far too seriously. Henry rolled his eyes, making some kind of teenage noise he should probably have patented at that point, but Ruby didn’t waver.

She widened her eyes and started tracing out the block letters she’d sketched out earlier – SKATE FAST ROOK emblazoned in perfectly spaced letters.

“It needs to be blue,” Roland shouted and that wasn’t the first time he’d informed them of that particular point either.

Emma laughed, tugging him back against her side when he threatened to actually step on the posterboard and she could only imagine what kind of fit both Ruby and Henry would pitch if there were sneaker marks on their well-crafted letters.

“It can’t be blue, Rol, those are not the national colors of Lithuania,” Emma said. “We’ve got to stick to our red and white color scheme here.” She eyed the sign speculatively, twisting her mouth and wondering if she was willing to take her life into her hands. Ah, what the hell. “And,” she added. “Were we planning on coloring all those letters with markers because then we’re going to get marker streaks and the internet will make fun of our sign.”

“The internet can shut up,” Ruby mumbled, not taking her eyes off the sign.

“And,” Henry added. “Rubes bought crayons too because she was also concerned about marker streaks.”

Emma nodded, humming softly under her breath. “Of course she did. You’re just prepared for everything aren’t you?”

Ruby didn’t answer, just arched a vaguely judgmental eyebrow and Emma was almost excited to sit in the stands and watch a pool play game that didn’t really mean much because it also meant that they would be sitting down and she didn’t have to actively SnapChat anything.

Will would probably Instagram it. She was fairly positive he’d stolen Phillip’s phone at some point anyway.

And, well, technically it was Valentine’s Day.

The red color scheme made double sense.

“Alright, Rol,” Ruby said, twisting to glance at the eight-year-old in question who, it seemed, was determined to set some kind of record for wearing the same Team USA jersey over consecutive days. “Come here and you can help me color in some of these names.”

He practically leapt at her, grabbing the crayon out of her hand and attacking the posterboard with an artistic enthusiasm that was almost impressive. Emma briefly considered taking pictures and sending them to Killian, but they were still at practice and she had no idea where her phone was and –

“Hey,” he muttered, resting his hand on her shoulder and she hadn’t even heard the door open.

She nearly had a heart attack. She was not entirely convinced she wasn’t having a heart attack. She didn’t know the symptoms of a heart attack.

“Jesus fuck,” Emma hissed, groaning when Ruby clicked her tongue in reproach. “Sorry Rol, sorry Henry. Do not mention that to Regina.”

Henry flashed her a knowing smile, Roland far too preoccupied with the task at hand to care about curse words or medical emergencies and Emma twisted to glare at Killian, hair still damp from his post-practice shower and wearing a questionable amount of Team USA merch.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “You guys aren’t supposed to be off the ice for another twenty minutes. There was a schedule.”

“I’m painfully aware of the schedule, Swan,” Killian said, crouching next to her and that couldn’t have been good for his knees. “But the ‘Hawks guy let us go early, which is…I don’t know if I’ve been let out of practice early since Liam and I played at the Piers.”

“You think that’s a commentary on you or…”

He rolled his eyes, something that almost resembled a smirk settling on his face and she hadn’t noticed the small, cardboard box in his hand. Goddamn potato dumplings. “Figured you hadn’t eaten,” Killian said and the smirk was a smile and Emma’s stomach was in her throat.

“You’re a soothsayer, Cap,” Ruby mumbled.

Emma sighed, taking the box and the plastic fork and they needed to figure out some kind of recipe for whatever those things were actually called. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “And ignore her.”

“That was the plan.”

Ruby stuck her tongue out.

“You want to help us with the color scheme, Hook?” Roland asked, jumping towards Killian and his hand slipped on the posterboard. Emma wasn’t sure who sighed louder – Ruby or Henry.

Killian didn’t flinch, catching Roland as much as it was possible to catch a flying kid and Emma ignored whatever feeling she was feeling. Something close to joy. Maybe.

“Of course, mate,” he said. “Your dad’s on his way here too. What do we have to do?”

Roland doled out instructions and Henry corrected those instructions and they had to use several different shades of red so everyone could get a crayon at the same time, but it might have been the most painfully adorable thing Emma had ever done and her entire soul did something stupid when Robin did show up, sitting down next to them and grabbing his own shade of red.

And she was right, Will had stolen Phillip’s phone – using it to upload a questionable number of photos all night, including a detailed study of the sign and its power to spark Team Lithuania to a 3-1 victory over Germany in pool play.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Swan,” Killian muttered, hours later, voice barely audible over the final buzzer and Roland shouting and Henry cheering.

#cs ff #blue line one shots #wellllllll that spiraled #distant-rose #laura rambles #blue line rambles

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adiseaselikeyouspreads · 8 years ago

Text

It’s 1:45 in the morning when the midnight premiere of Bloodbath University 3 lets out, the credits rolling and playing the final, cheesy score. Teenagers out way past curfew shuffle out of the theater and past the merch stands where shirts displaying the killer’s mugshot are on display. Rare stuff. Most killers only get facial composite merchandise.

Jason wraps his arm around Sidney and strolls past the stand without looking, laughing a little bit.

“For a movie that claims to be based on a true story, there was a lot of impossible physics going on in there,” he states, sounding pretty unimpressed.

“Well, everyone knows Greg McGowan only killed six people. The last two movies have only been speculation,” Sidney answers back, brushing her hair over her ear and scooting up against him in the cold. She doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about it, though.

“Speculation that McGowan would become superhuman if he didn’t get caught?” He asks, and Sidney laughs and shoves him a little. “These guys should stop speculating and get back to real horror.”

“This is real horror,” Sidney argues, as they walk through the parking lot together, squinting into the dark for their car. “As real as it gets, anyways.”

“But it’s not genuine horror! It’s just cheesy shock horror. No producers even care about it, they just know it’ll make money.”

“It’s just scary knowing that these things can really happen, dude.”

“What’s so scary about a real person? You can stop a real person.” Jason fishes his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the car. “If I didn’t have to have you home by 2:30, I’d invite you to come watch It Follows. That’s some real scary horror.”

“You’re such a dweeb, Jason,” Sidney teases as she pulls open the car door.

“I’m not a dweeb, I’ve just got good taste.” They both climb into the car and buckle their seatbelts.

When he turns the key, the radio comes to life with the familiar buzzy message of some forgettable radio DJ saying ‘the bodies of two Massachusetts high schoolers were found in the Merrimack River. Police suspect it is the work of the newest celebrity killer…’

Jason turns the radio off.

Just as he glances over his shoulder to reverse, he catches a glint of something.

And that something is pointed at his head in a split second. His heart skips a beat.

“Ah, I-” He starts to say something, but what would he even say? One hand jumps to the door’s handle.

“Stay still, four eyes,” the stranger hisses under his breath, Jersey accent prominent even through the harsh whisper. “One peep from either of you and this car’s getting a brain matter makeover.”

There’s a silent tension in the car for a minute. Jason considers the consequences of running. Throw the door open, duck. The man’s right there. Shit, he’s still buckled. He could shoot Sidney. Shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He exhales, shaky and slow, moving his hand back to the steering wheel.

“What do you want, man?” His voice sounds so much less steady than he wishes it was. “I’ve got- I mean, I don’t have much on me but I can give you my wallet, or-”

“I want you to drive.”

“I- Our parents are really expecting us back home, I really need to-”

He hits the butt of the gun against the back of one of the headrests and Sidney jumps, yelps. Jason realizes suddenly that she’s shaking, breaths coming out sobby.

“You really need to fucking drive,” the guy hisses, not missing a beat. Jason nods, mutters ‘okay, okay’ and backs out of the space, making a beeline towards the exit. The entire time, he tries to draw on what he knows about these people, tries to think of a way to distract the killer, or at least get Sidney out - and Sidney’s full on sobbing, now, hands covering her mouth to try and keep the noise inside.

Jason feels like he should be crying. There’s a lot to cry about. He’s never going to go to junior prom with Sid, now, for one, and he’ll never get to finish his short film, or apply to colleges and finally get away from his well-meaning parents’ watchful eyes. When he tries to force himself to emote, to react, to get angry, to tell this guy to fuck off and kill him or stop playing games, to sob and beg for his life, nothing happens.

“Turn left here,” the guy snaps. Jason obeys.

“Where are we going?” Sidney sniffles, muffled from hands still pressed over her mouth.

“You’ll find out, won’t you?” The guy sounds smug at that, jabs his gun against her cheek and chuckles under his breath when she jumps. “Fuckin’ A. You two are perfect.”

Jason and Sidney say nothing, which prompts the guy to wave his gun around as he continues. “I mean, honestly. Nerdy couple leaving a midnight showing of a bad horror movie? Wow. That’s just asking for someone to kill you. I bet you two didn’t even watch the movie, you were so busy feeling each other up, huh?” Jason cringes, and the guy laughs. “Obviously. Breaking all the rules. Taking you out of the gene pool is going to do us all a favor. Isn’t that right, kid? Hope your last makeout session was worth it. Turn right here.”

Jason doesn’t object. He glances in his mirror, but no one seems to be there - no cars, at least. The imposing figure of the murderer is taking up most of his vision, swimming behind his eyes when he blinks.

It’s him and Sidney alone against this guy.

They’re not going to make it.

“Is that what you’re going for?” Jason glances at the guy in the mirror, trying to remember his face, details, important for the police. As if they’d care. “You want to kill us to - to expunge us from society, to fix something? Or are you just another fame-hungry idiot who thinks two people is going to make him one of the big boys-”

The butt of the gun is slammed against his headrest with such ferocity that Jason’s head jerks forward, and he lets out a yelp. Sidney is crying again, little breathless sobs. The guy leans close to Jason’s ear, like they’re kids sharing secrets. He laughs again, soft, almost genuine sounding.

“You think you two are my first ones? God, begging for death and stupid, too. Kid, I’m going to fuck you up so bad the only way they’ll ever know it’s you is the teeth. Go through into the park, or I’ll shoot your whiny date.”

He shuts up and follows the order, driving into the national park, mouth turning dry as he does. His eyes flicker around, searching for any sign of hope, trying to come up with any plan of escape. Part of him wants to hit the gas as hard as he can. Would this guy really shoot the driver? Maybe. He could probably get a hold of the wheel. That’d endanger Sidney, too. He swallows hard.

“I love dragging you pathetic fucks out to these kinds of places. I can make you scream loud as I want and no one’s going to show up.” He does that low chuckle again, resting his hand on Sidney’s seat.

“Oh, God,” Sidney sobs, wiping her face on her sleeve. The back of Jason’s eyes burn, but there’s still some sort of disconnect. He’s thinking of the scene in Bloodbath University 2 where the main character and her boyfriend are driving through the woods when they realise that Greg McGowan is in the backseat, and instead of sitting there pathetically thinking about how they can’t cry, they fight back, they hit him where it hurts. Jason knows he isn’t strong, but Sidney did some running - maybe she can -

“Stop here,” the killer snaps, gripping his shoulder, and Jason damn near jumps out of his skin, hitting the brakes quick enough to make Sidney lurch.

Middle of nowhere. No one else. He tries to think, can he reach his cell phone? Somehow communicate to Sidney to text someone? He can’t even make out any notable features that would let someone find them in time. They’re in such a small space. The killer would hear.

“Turn off the car and kill the lights.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Jason says, before his brain can stop him.

“You’re right. I don’t have to. I want to. That’s what makes it fun. Are you thick or somethin’?” His gun disappears into his waistband and hope taunts Jason for a second before he pulls out a knife.

Jason remembers the PSAs and school lessons given about strangers before everything became so fucked up, but only barely. What’s he supposed to do? Play along and not make them angry, take your chances to run, find help. Great deal of help any of that is.

The man scoots up between the two of them, one knee pressed into the center console, arm thrown over the back of Sidney’s seat. He smells like sweat and slaughterhouse.

Jason suddenly feels claustrophobic. He reaches down to try to unbuckle, but the killer has the knife pressed underneath his chin in an instant.

“Nope. Don’t do nothing unless I tell you to.”

“Or what, you’ll kill me?” Jason asks, defiant, voice wavering anyways. He regrets it when the stranger laughs, cold and cruel. Jason thinks he’s starting to remember this guy’s face from a recent news report. A killer confident enough to not wear a mask.

“You got a big mouth, kid,” he states, bringing the knife up to the corner of his lips. “Maybe I should cut your tongue out and watch you choke on your blood. How about that?”

Jason turns his head away, just slightly, watching this guy out of the corner of his eyes, now.

“What do you think, missy?” He asks, leaning over into Sidney’s space, and moving his hand to grab her by the hair, roughly. “You think he’d be as brave with a stump in his mouth?”

“Don’t touch her!” Jason snaps, anger taking over that growing fear for a second.

The amusement falls out of the killer’s expression and he presses his mouth into a thin line.

“Alright, you’re eager to get started, I see. Let’s get going, then. Who should I carve up first?” He points the knife at Jason. “Eenie…” Then to Sidney. “Meenie, mini, mie-” and he pulls Sidney up against him, knife to her throat. “You get to watch your girlfriend die.”

A few scraping and cracking noises come from outside.

The killer pauses, looking around while keeping his grip on Sidney.

“You two were at the movies alone, right?” He hisses. Jason doesn’t know whether it’s the smart thing to lie, here.

“Maybe someone followed us,” Jason mutters vaguely, and can’t stop himself from feeling a little hopeful.

The killer reaches over and unlocks Sidney’s door and undoes her belt buckle, before pushing her at the door, changing his grip to Jason.

“Go check it out.” He pats his hip with his knife-wielding hand, real quick. “Don’t even think about running.”

Then the cold metal is back against Jason’s neck and he watches Sidney stumble out of the car, shaking, clutching herself in the cold.

For a few minutes she walks around, careful, checking the area. Then she starts to approach again.

“There’s nothing?” The killer calls to her. She puts her arms up in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture, almost comically casual for the situation. “Then get the fuck back over here.”

She hesitates where she stands, and her eyes flicker to Jason’s. That spark of hope hits again and he mouths ‘go’ before wrapping one arm around the killer at an uncomfortable angle, trying his best to hold the guy while Sidney turns tail and runs. Even if he doesn’t make it out, it’s okay as long as Sidney does.

“Son of a bitch,” the man snaps at him, struggling for a few seconds before slamming his elbow directly into Jason’s face. Jason’s world goes fuzzy and off balance for a few seconds, long enough for the killer to pry himself out of Jason’s arms and go scrambling after Sidney.

Jason sits up and wipes blood from his nose, disoriented, just in time to see the man’s knife disappear into Sidney’s side. Shit. Fuck, fuck.

Another quick glance around. The gun’s on the ground just outside the car. He dropped it. Jason fumbles with his seatbelt, mentally cursing himself, then clambers across the seats.

Sidney is on the ground, now, and he can vaguely hear her yelling at the killer to get off of her.

He grabs the gun and it’s unexpectedly heavy. He’s never even touched one of these before. His hands hesitate it as he tries to- where’s the safety?

Sidney screams.

Jason looks up. A large figure in black, with a stark, white bird mask is approaching from the brush. By the time the killer’s head jerks up to look, a machete is already sunk in. Jason can see the blood go flying. Bile rises in his throat.

“Sorry about that,” a harsh, mechanically distorted voice says from within the mask. They plant one foot on the now-dead killer’s shoulder and yank the blade out, then let his corpse slump onto Sidney.

“Sidney!” Jason calls, with new fear, getting to his feet and running over.

He lifts the gun and points it at the… birdface, arms shaking, in no way aiming steadily. “Step away from her or- or I’ll-”

They turn fully to look at him and, with no hesitance, step forward and take the gun from him, almost gently. “Don’t hold a gun if you don’t know how to shoot it.”

Jason and Sidney both stare, dumbfounded.

“You two need to be more careful,” they state, as they push the killer’s corpse over with their foot.

“I- we didn’t exactly ask to be targeted!” Jason states, disbelieving.

The cloaked figure stoops to dig around in their the corpse’s pockets.

“What are you doing?!”

They pull out the killer’s cellphone.

“Getting you two help. She’s injured. You’re in shock.”

“But you-” Recollection colors Jason’s face for a second. A series of news reports. “Oh my God. You’re- you’re the fucking Plague Doctor.”

They ignore him as they dial 911. Jason can hear the voice over the line, if only barely.

“911 Operator, what’s your emergency?”

“Got a fresh one for you.”

There’s a clatter and some frantic murmuring on the other side of the line. Jason kneels down to Sidney’s side, quietly comforting her, helping her put pressure on the wound.

“There’s an injured survivor out here, too. You’d better hurry. They’re at the west end of the national park.” They hang up before the operator can get another word out, and drop the phone back on the corpse.

Jason is busy brushing a now-bloody hand through Sidney’s hair, murmuring that they’re going to get help, when he notices the Plague Doctor starting to walk away.

“Wh- Where are you going?!” He calls. “You’re just going to leave us?”

They continue to walk.

“Will you- I- who are you?”

There’s a moment’s pause before they answer, “I’m the cure.”

Then they slip into the woods.

What a melodramatic fuck.

#chapter 1 #a disease like you spreads #adlys #gif /

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succulentsstars · 7 years ago

Text

Addressing the May Wedding being real

I've been thinking about this for a while and it makes a ton of sense actually! They also got a third place together around the same time. And Phil's parents and family was there as well as the majority of their YouTube friends bc playlist. The only thing though is Dans family, bc though Ik he isn't as close, I can't really see him having a wedding without at least his parents (unless somehow they got a sneaky flight... hmm) and another thing is- the Phandom is literally the FBI- so if they did get married, idek how they would keep it under wraps. (Another theory I had addressing that however is Singapore. No ditl, little activity other than posting pre-made videos and literally the most couple-y photos I've seen. Perhaps they did this to keep away from speculation?) Like they would literally have to keep EVERYONE there from taking/posting info or pictures (you may think that would only have to do the big names but ive even seen small accounts without practically any known relation to D+P called out. (There's one particular instance- I can't remember the exact context I found it in- but this one woman's Instagram had the exact blow up dinosaur they had standing in front of a tv that literally looked exactly like theirs, and the thing is, she had less than 1k followers from what I remember so idek how the Phandom found that)) and it's just depending on how many people they invite that would be HARD! Because it's so easy for someone to accidentally let slip something to someone who might not be able to trust with the info. Also- even D+P can't be trusted to keep it all to themselves. There are a few instances in liveshows where I bet you could think they were hinting about it- but you would think that if it happened they would've done it more. Weddings are a TON to plan bc many people consider them to be the biggest day of your life. And though Dan has often referred to Phil as "mr marriage-is-just-a-piece-of-paper" by the amount Phil has talked about raising a family in the future, I highly doubt that he is against marriage- just he and Dan have had disagreements in the past about it's true significance in the path of life (bc- he has a point. If you already are in a steady, sexual (if you want that), loving relationship with someone- marriage really is only a legal take on that.) And I just personally can't really see D+P having a very very small wedding and I have a hard time seeing them eloping. (That's why I struggle with the whole Japan theory from 2015. I mean- it makes a WHOLE bunch of sense! They were there for like two weeks and didn't post a whole lot when they were there (don't quote me on this part, though- I didn't join the Phandom till 2016) and another point I've heard is how much Japanese merch they've made. I mean- though they've said to have liked anime, they didn't really REALLY start talking about it till around 2014-2016 and they made merch after that ONE Japan trip. Looking at it from a distance- it doesn't make too much sense. Yes, they've talked about wanting to go and having a really great time, but they were only there for two weeks, and to our knowledge didn't do anything really noteworthy other than the ditl. And they've gone on MANY other trips together, why the big deal around Japan.... it almost as if...something important happened there... *x files theme plays* even today- they're still making merch about it!!! Ok sorry, I got a bit off topic- but so what I was saying before is that I have a hard time with that theory. So, even though Dan and Phil live alone and don't really get other people sometimes- they're not (really) hermits. They have many friends who they love and who love them back just as much as well as parents who have done a whole lot of support throughout their career- and they appreciate that! I just have a hard time seeing them getting married in a place they've never been before surrounded by strangers. Though it definitely could've happened, it just doesn't feel very... 'Dan and Phil' to me.) ok so back to main point- I just think that it wouldve been difficult for Dan and Phil to keep their own wedding completely under wraps. When I think of Dan and Phil getting married- I think of fireworks and dancing and happiness, not hiding away from the world (though they have done that in the past- we are living in a post-baking universe now and I don't think that Dan and Phil would ever want to hide that much from us- even though we can be real pains sometimes they love us all the same.) idk- it's not like I know them TRULY personally- they could want to hide. If they had told us about this hypothetical wedding in Florida- the Phandom would literally go insane. I bet it would only be a few days before their venue was found and spread across the internet and something they might've wanted to be personal and with just them suddenly is surrounded by thousands strangers- who may know and love them but are still strangers. It's just Dan and Phil had/are (possibly going to have a hard time having any sort of wedding considering their situation. Their story is definitely a unique one- and if the speculation about a relationship was true from 2009- on, it becomes so much more deep and complicated. If anyone would ever take me up on the offer- in many years I would really like to make some sort of doc/movie about them and their relationship (only with their permission, of course!) Dan and Phil are two extremely interesting people who have told a story laced with secrets, doubt, and lies. And though they have slipped up a few times (I doubt I need to elaborate there) they are still walking down that path. Whether or not they're in a relationship or perhaps once were- they still left a ton not filled in. And I will forever wait for the day for them to piece everything together. It may never come, though. It is their lives and their business and their decisions if they want to share the details of their personal relationship with the world. They might not have realised that weight when they were two teens flirting with each other through the internet- either thinking their conversations would go unnoticed or uncared for by anyone but each other. But they definitely realise it now. Dan and Phil are unlike any pair of people that I've ever heard of (of course there's people LIKE them out there, but not without all the fame and fans- which play a huge part in their relationship) Who's to say what they would be doing right now if they never gained the amount of fame that they had today. Maybe they would've moved apart in 2011, or maybe they would be married with kids. Who's to say where they'll be once the Phandom starts to die and they lose the media's attention? In my opinion- it may happen soon (it could already be happening) but it could also not happen for many years. But it will happen at some point. What will they do then? Will they have enough money to continue what they do or will they have to go into something else? Will they stay together? Will they come out and start a family? Only time will tell.

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