#well depends on the results of the experiment

[aonemanarmy]

The ex-Turk's retort was easily dismissed by Sephiroth. Perhaps guilt could be a form of suffering, but no amount of guilt could compare to the actual physical pain he'd been forced to endure. Any other option would've been welcome to the madman after that sort of agony and he'd even welcome the experimentation that Vincent went through as that had only lasted but a brief flicker of time compared to the torture perpetuated throughout his entire misbegotten existence.

If anything, the gunman's suffering was but a trial run for what would become Sephiroth's every waking moment. Still, Vincent couldn't understand or refused to do so and that frustrated Sephiroth, but he supposed it only meant that after all that happened that the ex-Turk remained human which was something that he had never been.

Oh, what Sephiroth wouldn't have given to have traded places with either of them, but they were too blind to see how fortunate they had been.

Sephiroth was about to bite out a scathing reply to the gunman's weak excuses, but surprisingly the diminutive woman beat him to it with a seemingly uncharacteristic shout. The exclamation was enough to catch both his and the lurking presence of Jenova's attention as he listened to the couple's exchange.

At least Lucrecia appeared to be capable of accepting her part in the whole twisted affair even if she still was fraught with denial in certain aspects. He would've applauded it had he not been so disgusted by how little the woman truly grasped, but that was about change.

Jenova knew full well what Sephiroth sought to do and had no intentions of stopping him. The surrogate 'son' that the creature had been given had been granted access to a vast swath of the alien's powers and as such could easily interact with those that shared Jenova's cells. Of course, the potency of said abilities depended on the concentration of said cells and Lucrecia had a substantial amount which would make the process all the more easy to carry out.

It was almost poetic that the scientist who had sought to use Jenova for her own ends was now set to experience being on the other side of her prized experiment. The irony would've been quite satisfying had Jenova cared to indulge in such things, but the creature's purpose in allowing things to proceed served more as a means for it to lie in wait for a potential opening in Sephiroth's defenses and seize control once more. In that way the whole practice could serve Jenova better than sheer brute force ever could, so the creature was content to patiently wait and prod things along as it saw fit.

This whole encounter also served as a convenient fail-safe, one which Jenova knew would push Vincent to the limits of his self-control and perhaps goad him into taking matters into his own hands. If the gunman were to snap and put a bullet in Sephiroth's head during the experience at best it would destroy the avatar – which was highly unlikely due to Jenova's near indestructible nature – but that would hardly put a stop to things. On the contrary, it would only accelerate the course of Sephiroth's hatred and mistrust, forcing him to be more reckless and an easier target with the added bonus of Vincent unwittingly 'killing' Lucrecia's child in front of her and the psychic and emotional backlash that would result upon the violent severance of the link.

It would prove to be a worthy punishment for both the ex-Turk and the scientist for interfering.

Sephiroth, being aware of none of this was totally consumed by his own madness and the prospect of taking out his pain and suffering on anyone remotely connected to it was too tempting an opportunity to pass up. After all, he may have used Vincent as a means to destroy the main source of his nightmarish existence, but that didn't excuse the others responsible and he wanted them to experience even a fragment of the hell they put him through.

“Shall we begin?”

Not waiting for a response, Sephiroth focused on tapping into the innate psychic link that was present in Jenova's cells; it was an ability that allowed the creature to not only manipulate its physical form but also to communicate with the severed parts of its body, but now it served a new purpose as the madman sought to attune Lucrecia's cells to his own. It was a process that took scarcely a moment, Sephiroth having become quite talented at using Jenova's abilities, and as such he was able to establish a link with Lucrecia's psyche with little real resistance.

'Come and see.' Sephiroth's wordless voice echoed through Lucrecia's thoughts, his own opening up to her and allowing the exchange to properly begin.

******

The first memory that the madman sought to show Lucrecia started with the sight of a boy scarcely five years of age locked alone in a tiny barren room that was little more than a glorified cell. Floors of cold tile and white, featureless walls were the child's only company with harsh fluorescent lights filling the enclosed space. It was better than the alternative, which the boy had learned early on as he contented himself with sitting huddled in the corner in a thin hospital gown, eyes warily watching the lone steel door that separated him from the outside world which he'd come to dread.

As he sat the boy idly poked at the bandaged spot on his hand where a peripheral IV line had been run and would be again soon enough. Recalling it the child felt an inexplicable fear which coupled with the cold and sterile environment made him tremble as he continued to stare at the door, but the most disconcerting thing was how dejected and hopeless he felt.

Wrapping his arms around his knees the boy wondered when it would all stop and if it ever would, but even then he doubted it.

Almost as if to prove the child's point the steel door opened and a masked lab assistant entered the room, looking down at the boy like one might look at an insect on a cork board. It was a familiar look, one that spoke of how the people around the boy viewed him as a thing and not a person, but it was a concept he'd yet to fully grasp and as such he couldn't understand why these people treated him this way.

“Come along, it's time for your treatment.” The assistant said coolly, and when the boy didn't immediately comply he reached and grabbed the child by the wrist and wrenched him up to his feet hard enough the boy felt a sharp pain tear through his shoulder and let out a cry. “Now.”

The boy bit at his lip, pinpricks of tears straining at the corners of his eyes as he was half led and half dragged out of the room and out into the equally sterile and featureless hallways of the world beyond. It was a trip that he'd embarked on several times before and one that he would make countless times more in the future and it would never get any easier.

As he was led down that seemingly endless hallway the boy felt that inexplicable sense of dread swiftly morphing into full-blown terror and began to pull at the restraining hand on his wrist. It was an action swiftly met by another sharp tug, one which caused the pain in the boy's limb to flare up again and made him whimper in pain, all that was summarily ignored as he was finally dragged into the room at the end of the hallway.

“You're late.” Hojo said dryly, looking up from the top of the clipboard he'd been writing on and fixing the lab assistant with a withering stare. It was the type of look the boy feared and that gave even grown adults pause and made them quickly rethink their decisions.

“I apologize professor, but the subject was resisting.” The lab assistant responded as he hoisted up the petrified child and placed him on the stainless steel table at the center of the operating room. “It won't happen again.”

“See that it doesn't.” Hojo seemingly dismissed the assistant after he'd strapped the boy's down to the table, the wide leather straps biting into the tender flesh of the child's still baby soft skin as he trembled uncontrollably beneath Hojo's gaze.

“Of course sir.”

The professor didn't bother to respond, instead signaling to a different set of assistants to begin setting up for the procedure. It was a process the child had seen more times than he could count, but that still terrified him, especially when he caught sight of the tray of surgical instruments being brought out and placed on the adjacent table.

In the midst of the old memory Sephiroth stood in the background, piercing emerald eyes staring out at Lucrecia as the lab assistants moved around him. His form was that of a specter – insubstantial and present only for the woman that he guided through his descent into hell, which he did in a manner so cold and detached it was almost as this memory wasn't truly his but belonged to another. In a way he supposed that was true, because these events had happened to another, someone that had died back in Nibelheim five years ago.

'Are you ready 'mother' to see the truth?'

In its terrible glory, the Meteor could be seen tearing through the skies, causing even the clouds to scatter and break from the oncoming power that was Meteor-- guided by none other than the hand of a man who had been denied kindness. He was simply giving what the world had given him. Pain.

Lucrecia understood this. As disconnected as Sephiroth was from her, Lucrecia's heart was still knit with his, feeling his pain, and seeking to understand him, even if just a little bit. As much as Vincent understood the reasoning for Sephiroth's actions, he knew it wasn't the answer. After all, he too had locked himself away, endeavoring to suffer the nightmares as penance for his sins. However, it had only lengthened the days of Sephiroth's suffering. All the while Vincent allowed his torments to endure, a helpless boy was continuing to writhe in his own agony, brought upon him by the Ex-Turk's complacency. Now, that boy had become a man, and was imparting that same pain onto others. Pain only lead to more pain... an endless cycle of suffering. The distraught mother had met the ground, her tears watering the parched earth beneath her. Sephiroth spoke like a madman, enamored with the idea that the planet needed death.... or rather, salvation. Violence and morbidity was his solution. Like father like son... Lucrecia wept bitterly as the realization finally came pouring through. How wrong she had been to even think there could be an ounce of hope to regain her son. But what else did she have to lose? She had lost everything, including the will to live. She had failed in every capacity the day she entered Shinra. But at least... Vincent survived. She could no longer be there for Sephiroth. Her very existence was perhaps a blight to him. And one day, the planet would consume her, too. However... "It would have been for her." Vincent retorted at Sephiroth's comments. How could Lucrecia possibly live a normal life with her crime hanging over her? "Enough!" Lucrecia called out, her voice trembling from the emotions. Even though every ounce of him wanted to persist, the gunslinger held his peace and turned his face from Sephiroth. Moments later, Lucrecia spoke once again, keeping her head lowered in grief. "...He has the right of it," she almost whispered. "No matter what I've gone through... no matter what he chooses to do afterwards... the pain I feel will never amount to what he's had to endure." She then slowly looked up, her eyes directly landing on Vincent's. "Even you..." A frown creased over Vincent's brow. "All the pain I've put you through, and what I've taken from you... from you both..." Her hand rested on her chest, trembling, but firm. "This pain... I can bear it. I must. So please, Vincent..." Vincent's frown deepened, weighing her words and eventually causing him to break his gaze from her. He understood her request. It would be impossible for him to keep... had he not loved her. 'Shall I show you true suffering...?'

The words sent a chill down Lucrecia's spine. Her hand gripped the cloth at her chest, her other hand curling against the dying earth. She couldn't fathom what Sephiroth could have meant. But she had worked on Jenova's body all the same. ...What had they done to her son all those years? When Vincent heard Sephiroth's morbid threat, a shot of horror tore through him, creating a phantom pain. He may not have felt the exact pain Sephiroth had endured, but he was well acquainted with every type of physical cellular pain known to science. Hojo had ensured that much, having used him to test the limit of pain endurance. Lucrecia may have understood the science behind such things. But for her to endure the same torture...? He wouldn't wish it upon Hojo himself, let alone someone he loved. If Sephiroth truly intended to torment Lucrecia, what was to stop Vincent from lashing out at Sephiroth? Perhaps that was precisely Jenova's plan... to force him to break his promise, and in return, end Lucrecia's life. ...But to see her in agony... again... he'd rather have Hojo tear through his flesh a thousand different ways than to watch Lucrecia suffer. His clawed hand slightly curled at his side.

Remember... your promise...

[dol-dogboy]

Nsfw ask meme this time!! Ft. Percy, Bowie, and Damon <3

After doing the sfw ask meme I knew I had to do this one too, so yeag :)

-> warning for typical DoL themes, I forgot what exactly though because this shit got so long I forgot what I wrote whoops!

1. What’s their position in bed? (top, bottom, vers, sub, dom, etc.)

Percy:

Dominant top!! They are a megalomaniac through and through, he needs to be the one in total control during sex at all times— if he ever does bottom then it’s in a ‘bottoming from the top’ sort of way…

… Unless they’re in heat. That’s the ONLY time they’ll ever sub for Anyone and even then he’s bitching about it the whole time

Bowie:

Submissive top leaning switch, likes bottoming and topping equally but. Well. People see his dick and are like I GOTTA have a piece of that

Damon:

Vers switch, leans dominant in most encounters though since he used to be wholly submissive all the time. Making up for lost time yknow??? True submission from him nowadays is very difficult to experience, unless he’s in a vulnerable mood with someone he trusts deeply

2. What turns them on/off?

Hooo boy lessee, turn ons subject to change my memory is shit sooo just consider this a blanket vibes list, might do a more in depth posts abt their kinks at a later date wink wink nudge nudge

Percy:

✅: Sadism (ofc), Knifeplay, Fearplay, Bloodplay, Dacryphilia, Humiliation (giving), Voyeurism, Predator/Prey, Stepping, Kicking, Biting, I’m just gonna start listing acts of violence by accident but well I mean it’s accurate—, Enjoys being worshipped

🚫: Pretty much take most of their turn ons except make it done to them that’s their turn offs, also feminization/misgendering/etc, that’s a one way street to getting him to despise you

Bowie:

✅: Humiliation (receiving), Praise, Degradation, Size difference, Groping, Orgasm denial, Voyeurism/Exhibitionism, Overstimulation, Cumplay, Breeding, Pregnancy (<- sooo embarrassed by this esp with partners that don’t want kids 😭)

🚫: Having his arms specifically pinned or tied up freaks him out, degradation/humiliation that veers into a genuinely mean territory

Damon:

✅: Humiliation (giving), Bondage, Dacryphilia, Intoxication (all kinds <3), Voyeurism/Exhibitionism, Biting/Marking, Collars, Petplay (to a point), Overstimulation, Size Difference, Marathon sex, Dumbification, Somnophilia, Tentacles, Corruption kink but it makes him feel guilty, Roleplay except he does Not take it seriously and he’s giggly the whole time, Gap moe <3

🚫: Hypnotism. Used to like it but shit happens and now it’s just an annoyance (could maybe be convinced to try it out again in the far future though), also something that doesn’t necessarily make him flaccid but does really take him out of sex is calling him stuff like ‘pet’, (dog related stuff is fine!) ‘doll’, ‘toy’, etc

Universal 🚫: Daddy/mommy stuff, any sort of -cestplay really, Piss/Scat/etc., Bestiality ig they probably never ponder the idea of that ever happening since I have it turned off, for a game about being raped none of them really like that very much 😔

3. How long does it take for them to climax?

Percy:

A While. Perks of having a low libido, since that just means he can hurt you longer <3

Cums stupidly fast during his heats and it humiliates him

Bowie:

It depends? Usually very fast though, if he’s trying his veryyyyy best to be a good boy and not cum without permission then he will try his damndest to only cum when he’s told to (with mixed results, he’s just so sensitive <\3)

Damon:

Another depends!! Sometimes he’ll draw things out to be a tease, but he also cums faster when he’s intoxicated, so it rly depends on the scene and setting tbh

4. Most sensitive part(s) of their body?

Percy:

… Their cunt, to their own chagrin. Being inside them brings out things during sex that Percy would Never show otherwise

Bowie:

His boobs and his dick (probably has something to do with the underground farms gel thing), can ABSOLUTELY cum solely from having his boobs played with

Damon:

Made his nipples hypersensitive when I started up his save bc hehe <3, messing with them is the easiest way to get him worked up he Will jump you if you tweak them a bunch

5. Easiest way to seduce them?

Percy:

Cry when he beats you. Like full blown bawling, he wants it to be as ugly and raw as possible— for more of a slowburn he just likes meekness in general

Bowie:

Emphasize your chest around him, whether that be by wearing a low cut top, going into positions where he sees as much of your chest as possible, etc. Doesn’t matter how little boob you have his eyes are going as wide as saucers

Damon:

Loves a fellow tease <3 being able to fall into a back and forth of flirting is just so fun to him, it certainly endears you to him pretty fast— also, for more hyper specific scenarios, someone who is usually more stern or serious either softening or perking up when they see him gets him throbbing INSTANTLY (gap moe fetish 😔)

6. How often do they masturbate?

Percy:

Maybe once a week? Two sometimes? Just ain’t a high priority for them

Bowie:

Well! Well. Well…. Every day. Multiple times a day. Especially if he hasn’t gotten milked in a while then he’ll spend like an hour just milking and cumming, He Hates It

Damon:

Not a lot, maybe once a week. Whenever he wants to inflict psychic damage on a partner/situationship. Sorry losers he’s actually out laying pipe and getting bitches

7. What’s their favorite position?

Percy:

Scissoring or any position similar to it, generally likes having either one or both of his partners legs over his shoulders so he can see how far they can be pushed down before they start saying that it hurts (gets a little disappointed if they’re very flexible)

Bowie:

Any position where he’s being ridden, and if he’s being penetrated then hm…. Whatever position requires the least amount of flexibility, I’d say push his face into the bed but then you wouldn’t be able to see his pretty tears :(

Damon:

How can he choose a favorite when they’re all so beautiful…. Supposes that he does have a special fondness for doggy style, either way <3

8. How did they lose their virginity?

Percy:

Forest. Black box for Landry. Two guys showed up. They’d really rather not think about it too hard

Bowie:

First punishment for not paying Bailey, some dogboys in an alleyway… there’s a reason he doesn’t like his arms pinned

Damon:

He forgor (said in a very serious tone)

9. Favorite place to have sex?

Percy:

Has a fondness for floor sex of any kind anywhere, though if he’s actually involved in sex (and not just like. Beating the shit out of you) then he wants it in private

Bowie:

If asked he would say in the bedroom, but that 6/6 exhibitionism stat says otherwise !!!

Damon:

That prayer room is his favorite room that has ever existed

10. Ever been caught having sex or masturbating?

Percy:

No, since technically beating people up isn’t sex

Bowie:

Yeah . Technically not masturbating but the amount of times he’s came in public Haunts Him

Damon:

Probably, not like he cares though lmaoooooooo

11. Are they loud or quiet?

Percy:

Quiet in terms of noises but they are a YAPPERRRRRR they cannot shut the fuck up about how much you suck when you have sex with them. During their heats though???? Has to make an active effort to not start whining and whimpering at the slightest touch

Bowie:

Crying, sobbing, whimpering, moaning like a porn star, whining, begging— I think you get the idea you Will have to manually shut him up yourself

Damon:

Another fuckin’ yapperrrr he refuses to shut up during sex, teasing and degrading and praising constantly, with certain partners he’s certainly trying to challenge them to shut him up. In terms of noises he’s actually pretty quiet, mostly just shaky breaths and groans, though he absolutely can be louder if you’re into that <3

12. Do they own any sex toys?

Percy:

Heavy are the hips that wear the strap. Also mostly has toys for sexual torture reasons, also an emergency dildo for himself cause sometimes fingers ain’t enough

Bowie:

Breast pumps for the milkers, sheepishly bought Alex a strap once, vibrator for when he’s gotta get those cream buns MADE!!!

Damon:

I can’t make an itemized list of sex toys when my brain is at half mast but yes he has a lot, primarily collars and ropes are his favorites, but he does have some hands on toys for enhancing sex— and since you can buy them at the sex shop in game I’ll include the fact that he Always has aphrodisiacs on him. Sometimes he just pops em for goofs

13. Do they prefer giving or receiving?

Percy:

Both? Giving in terms of pain and generally being in control, receiving in terms of you lapping at his cunt or licking his boots, as he rightfully deserves in his mind

Bowie:

Receiving lmao he can be a lil bit of a pillow princess at times, if you Tell Him to put in some more effort then he will though

Damon:

No preference <3

14. How often do they have sex?

Percy:

Depends on who they’re with really, Kylar is pretty needy but even then it’s only like… twice a week. Beating people up is a near daily thing however and that’s even better than sex so—

Bowie:

Also depends on who he’s with !! There was a while there where he and Alex were having daily creampies happen so truly he can go daily. Even multiple times a day. Please

Damon:

Every day as per the tf lifestyle, sometimes he can just legitimately forget and get seared with holy light at night though. And yet he never learns 😔

15. Their biggest sexual desire?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

To have someone completely at his mercy, bleeding and crying because of the pain HE inflicted. To be wholly in control of the situation, to have someone’s life held solely in his hands…. Yeah they’re pretty normal about that

Bowie:

He wants to get teased and denied so much he’s writhing and crying in overstimulation, particularly with his sexual partner sitting above him, only juuust barely brushing against his dick— biggest desire is getting his ass bullied basically!! But then being pampered even though he’s the one that just rearranged his partners guts

Damon:

That would be like choosing a favorite child for him… maybe it’s flustering and embarrassing someone who’s usually all big and strong? Orrr being hopped up on aphrodisiacs so every touch feels ten times more intense? Super long marathon sex until someone passes out? So many decisions…….. or maybe it’s that he wants to be intimately held and loved and finally be able to trust someone with his full submission but he’s shovin’ THAT one down into the deepest pits of his mind!!!

16. What’s the best term to describe your OC sexually?

Percy:

Vengeful Sadist, the game really hit the mark with that one

Bowie:

Crybaby sub

Damon:

Boytoy except he isn’t fully jiving with it

17. Their bra or dick size?

I do not know the sizes of bras or dicks at a glance but yknow. I’ll try my best !

Percy:

‘Budding’ itty bitty boobs. I’m talking those cute lil mosquito bite boobs (they would hate if you pinched their boobs but I personally am advocating for pinching their boobs pls). They got clitoromegaly so their clit is a lil smaller than the size of a thumb, I’d say 2 inches or so long??

Bowie:

Enormous boobs and dick, boobs are big enough to have serious heft when held, dicks big enough to make you go “oh their poor hole…” about whoever he’s fucking. It’s definitely bordering on a foot

Damon:

Flat chest, large dick, he takes dick enhancement pills because he thinks it’s funny. His dick is far more manageable than Bowie’s but still big ! Six inches maybe? Bigger? Idk

18. What do they think about when they masturbate?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

They don’t masturbate very often, but whenever they DO it’s usually after they just got worked up beating someone up… so usually he’s just thinking back on how absolutely helpless they looked, the blood dripping down their face, etc etc

Bowie:

A lot of things really, but the biggest one is just… imagining someone’s body, particularly their chest, just playing that visual over and over in his head makes him so insanely horny. He’s the most likely to jack it over porn mags out of the trio

Damon:

Surprisingly doesn’t jack off as much as you’d think, after all he can just go out and fuck someone whenever he wants to……. He does like stealing fuckbuddies/partners clothes and jacking off while wearing em though, for ultra pervert points, plus it always get a very.. fun reaction out of whoever he does it to when they find out <3

19. What’s their sexual orientation?

When told the definitions for certain orientations, the only one who would choose to label himself is Bowie, who is pan! Percy and Damon don’t really care about labels like that (tiring for the former, confusing for the latter), so they’re both unlabeled queers! They just do whatever they want always

20. What’s their favorite thing to do sex-wise?

Percy:

Stepping probably, he loves those damn boots y’all—

Bowie:

Creampie-ing honestly. Either way it just happens more with him in someone else, but him getting creampied would rewire his brain

Damon:

Loves oral, big oral fixation, something he finds hot either way but he does have a slight preference for being collared and performing oral on his partner, and the only way he’s allowed to get off is by humping at their leg <3

21. Weirdest place they’ve had sex?

Percy:

Kylar loves fucking them in alleys

Bowie:

Barn probably

Damon:

Tentacle plains, weird But he loves it

22. Their favorite place on the body to be kissed?

Percy:

Inner thighs (Not on his scars), something about the soft fondness in worshipping him makes him. Feel weird in a way he doesn’t like thinking about

Bowie:

Cheeks or forehead, it’s so sweet it makes him emotional

Damon:

Neck and lips! It’s romantic… makes him fall into the small fantasy that he’s capable of loving and being loved for a moment

23. Worst sex experience?

Percy:

See answer 8!

Bowie:

See answer 8 as well!

Damon:

Hm. Sex with Harper at the asylum. Both the best and the worst. The best in the moment, he felt so loved and appreciated… but after the fact he realizes that he was appreciated only for being an interesting subject. He wasn’t really anything to him. That makes him feel empty inside.

24. Have they ever orgasmed more than once in one go?

Percy:

During that time with the two guys in the forest yeah, but during regular sex he most certainly wouldn’t unless it was Very Long

Bowie:

He has the orgasm addict trait I think that’s answer enough. He’s never fully satisfied only cumming once during sex, he’s came ten times in one go for his chef job lmao

Damon:

Yeag <3 he loves overstimulation and marathon sex soooo much he loves going until either he or his partner have been fucked stupid

25. How often do they think about having sex?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

If you go by Percy’s definition of sex which includes stuff like ‘breaking someone’s nose by kicking them in the face’ then it would be quite a bit… but, like, traditional pants off sex? Ehh like twice a week, maybe three, they have a surprisingly low libido for someone living in doltown

Bowie:

… Like once or twice a day, maybe even more if he’s pent up, but he’s completely humiliated by it. He has to jerk off daily because he can’t stop thinking about it… its a Problem

Damon:

If you leave him to his own devices then he will inevitably start thinking about having sex. It’s both in his lustful nature and also just kinda required for his incubus lifestyle, just part of his stream of consciousness now it’s normal for him

26. Are they self-conscious about any part of their body?

Percy:

Teeth 100%, was drilled into their brain when they were younger that their teeth are ugly and it still takes him a lot of effort to not instinctually cover his mouth when smiling

Bowie:

Everything <3 there’s not a single thing about his body that he can’t find something to be insecure about

In particular though? Mentioned before but his heights a big one, also deeply insecure about his tits for a variety of reasons (leaking milk is humiliating, everyone keeps on thinking he’s a woman, everyone Always points them out, etc)

Damon:

No not really, all of his self consciousness is aimed at the inside— other than like, sometimes he gets a little frustrated with his height purely because he has a lower strength threshold so protecting people he cares about is a bit harder, but even then 99% of the time he likes his height

27. How long does sex normally last with them?

Percy:

Depends. They can have torture sessions that go on for hours if they’re feeling manic and/or furious enough for it

Bowie:

Whatever you want ! But like he can go for sooooo long if you’ll let him 🥺 pretty please? 🥺

Damon:

Note answer 24, this can literally last several hours if you can match his freak. Even if you or he passes out there’s always the permission there to Keep Going until BOTH of you are down

28. Are they serious during sex or do they like to laugh?

Percy:

Pretty serious, if they get into their own head and start babbling degrading shit then they start to get a bit more maniacally giddy over the whole thing

Bowie:

Depends on the mood being set, but usually he falls pretty squarely into the role of weepy submissive on his own, can get giggly if the sex is softer <3 it’s real cute

Damon:

The sillayyyyyyyyyy, unless he’s gotten firmly into the role of mean dom then he is a silly lil bastard he’s cracking jokes and making fun the whole time, sex is Supposed to be nice and fun and chill to him so damnit he’s gonna make it nice and fun and chill!!

29. Wild-card. Give us a fun fact!

Percy:

He’s got a thick bush and happy trail, and when they’re older they get a harrier chest and arms too, I love body hair <3

Bowie:

Closest thing to him domming is sometimes when he reallllly wants to please his partner he’ll just press their back to his chest and fingerfuck their brains out, all while probably groping at their chest with the other hand, it’s like the horny spirits overtake him and he’s just humping against their back babbling about how he’s doing a good job right? You feel good right? Pretty please tell him he’s good he’s so hard please—

Damon:

Gets weird possessive streaks where he can’t help but just maul his partners neck with bites, just gets the urge to mark ‘em up randomly when he’s usually pretty lax about ‘possession’ stuff

[tiredtriedfailures]

not in a christian way but genuinely thinking maybe not jerkin is good?

[wynnd1]

I kinda just want to put my interpretation out into the void because I don’t think anything here fully reflects it; it would be a cross between the selective mutism and normally verbal choices. Explanation below break bc it’ll be long.

So first for some background: selective mutism is not someone choosing to be mute at certain times. It’s a little bit of a misnomer. It’s more like situational mutism. It’s still not exactly how I interpret it but it’s a little closer to reflecting a particular aspect that impacts how and when she communicates.

I see two aspects that should be reflected in interpretations of Cass’s verbality: 1) language as a system of communicating ideas with sounds and 2) how that system is actually used in social situations. In other words: not only language as a thing that you learn, but also language as a thing you must learn when to use in social settings.

1) as far as understanding language goes, I see Cass as mostly having a good grasp. She can communicate in English, but her disability means sometimes she might struggle for the word she’s looking for or have to think longer about how to communicate something, and that sometimes she has “good” days and “bad” days. Sometimes she is feeling on top of it and is just comfortable talking, but some days she hits a word she can’t think of and it throws her off for a while. She’s a naturally confident person, but when you hit a hard limit to your abilities, it can shake that confidence in that ability for a while. And I think she experiences that. This is the “normally verbal but still has trouble with some facets of language” part.

2) social communication, however, I think is a huge driver of Cass’s verbality. What I mean by that is I think she struggles with understanding when to speak and when not to speak. I say this because of her reliance on body language for so long. I think she just struggles to recognize when most people need something to be said, because in her brain it’s been communicated sufficiently. An example of this is some of the early interactions with Cass and Steph, where Steph thinks Cass doesn’t like her or thinks she’s weak, whereas Cass definitely walked away from the situation thinking “I’m so good at social interaction”. But these situations, I feel that Cass errs on the side of, or naturally communicates less as opposed to more. Because she thinks she’s gotten her point across but it is in fact, ambiguious. And like I said, selective mutism isn’t the most accurate description of that, but I think of the options listed, that’s probably the closest reflection. It’s not so much that she’s physically prevented from being able to speak as much as it is she doesn’t consistently recognize that a speaking time is a speaking time. Idk if I’m communicating that well, and frankly that could just be projection.

But I also think these two come together to result in periods where she just ends up non-verbal. It’s not so much selective mutism, but it functionally is. So, I interpret her as having days where she hits a language stumble that hits her confidence and frustrates her, and she spends some time erring on the side of “this is not speaking time” more often than normal for her. I feel like language is one of the places that her confidence does sometimes take a hit. (Also the converse, where she absolutely flubs a social interaction but thinks she killed it and is hyper verbal for a lil bit, sometimes continually flubbing social interactions)

Again, maybe projection and I’m not sure I’m articulating this well. I just feel like her verbality doesn’t rely only on her internal dictionary (I guess is the way to put it) or only on her understanding of social cues related to verbalization, but heavily depends on how those two come into contact with one another.

[snailvibes]

Me when the rating stuff for double exposure is already showing there’s probably gonna be SO many opportunities for Max angst

[designernishiki]

I will maybe make a bigger post at some point about other characters’ dnd classes but. thought about it. kiryu would be a battlemaster fighter multiclassed into oath of vengeance paladin. end of statement

[explode-this]

Watched the Korean remake/reimagining of Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, Handsome Guys (2024) and thought “gee I wonder if anyone else has posted about it on tumblr dot com” and then

Of course one perfunctory search for “pretty girls,” just to look for the alternative, brings up plenty of thin white women. Of course.

(I’ll leave it up to you to see what happens when you search for the phrase “good girl” and then “good boy,” but speaking vaguely as a bi sapphic with what might be considered a predilection for praise, yes, i feel erased on multiple axes. AGAIN.)

[relto]

omg i actually managed to finish this mission without being detected

[hannieehaee]

NEED TO KNOW

18+ / mdi

summary: with jungkook's lifelong crush also came an aversion to dating anyone who wasn't you. but what would happen when the poor lovesick boy came crying into your arms after finally giving a chance to what turned to be a disastrous date?

content: virgin!jungkook, f2l!jungkook, loser!jk, sub!jk, college au, jk is insanely socially awkward and shy, kook is touch starved, afab reader, smut, dry humping, body worship, reader's lowkey possessive over jk (and vice versa tbh), oral (f and m receiving), handjob, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 10k

a/n: loser virgin koo but light on the loser and heavy on the virgin

masterlist | patreon

Jungkook often found himself feeling like his life was one of those very shitty romcoms.

Except he had never really felt like the heartthrob, or even like he was the one getting swept off his feet.

No, his experience was more closely aligned with the loser virgin who was tossed aside so the star-crossed lovers could find their way to each other. This was just how it had always been.

Jungkook had watched most of his friends find love with a person he could easily consider their soulmate. He was a romantic at heart, after all. These things were not difficult for him to spot.

He often wondered when his turn would come, except it just never did.

Being one for romance was seemingly not for the weak, as Jungkook found himself passing yet another year as a lovesick fool hoping to find that perfect someone to finally look his way.

Scratch that. Many people looked his way. Even as a self-proclaimed loser, Jungkook received plenty of attention from boys and girls alike. Looks were often thrown his way, but they were never the looks he wanted to receive.

Sure, he could easily reciprocate the appreciation he received for his looks. He could smile back, maybe even ask for their number and then see where it all led afterwards.

Except that Jungkook needed the romance. He needed to be swept off his feet (or maybe the reverse, it depended on his mood). Jungkook needed a soulmate.

It all just became eternally more complicated when Jungkook insisted on having that person be you.

That and the fact that Jungkook was slightly, how to put it, socially inept. He was shy, anxious, unable to read social cues, and basically just an overall mess. But the worst of all was his undying crush on you, this he knew.

It was a tale as old as time. Falling for your best friend, pining after them for years, hoping one day they'd turn around and realize you'd been here all along. And now on year nine of knowing you, it still hadn't happened. Jungkook remained a sad, lonely virgin awaiting for you to grant his romcom wish and make him into the love interest.

It didn't really help how painfully socially awkward Jungkook was. Truly, he was surprised you'd stuck by his side for this long despite that. There was no way Jungkook would ever want to risk ruining your current relationship in favor of something he knew would never work out. You did not like him back, these past nine years made him very well aware of that.

And so, as a result, his friends had the grand idea of setting him up.

Not once, not twice, but countless times.

However, Jungkook being Jungkook, never agreed to it. Not once had his friends been able to reel him out of his dorm long enough to entrap him into a date.

Jungkook simply saw no point in it. Blind dates were the complete antithesis of Jungkook's beliefs about romance. He needed a connection before even considering entering a romantic relationship. The thought of going on a date with someone he'd never met before unnerved him to no end.

Plus, he was convinced no one would ever actually like him past his looks. There had been far too many instances of him being on the receiving end of insults to his personality or not-so-subtle stink eyes thrown his way. To have that happen to him whilst on a blind date was just a huge no.

Jungkook found himself stuck in an endless limbo. A loveless, endless limbo as he pined after the one person he could never have.

"You're going. No isn't an option here," deadpanned Namjoon, hitting Jungkook lightly to the back of his head with a rolled up magazine — almost as if he were a puppy receiving a scolding.

Well, that's pretty much how Jungkook had been feeling these days.

For the past week or so, Jungkook had been down in the dumps (even more than usual), making his unrequited crush everyone else's problem through his constant sighs and unsolvable complaints. You truly were the only person in Jungkook's life who didn't fall victim to his lovesickness — for obvious reasons.

There was a very reasonable cause for Jungkook's souring mood, though.

You were seeing someone.

Maybe.

At least that's the impression Jimin had given Jungkook when he mentioned some guy you'd been texting lately.

Jungkook had no further evidence, but the mere thought was enough for his heart to begin cracking.

He always knew this was a one sided love, but the confirmation was entirely too hurtful for Jungkook to take. Apart from that, the thought of you not telling him also added to the hurt.

This only caused Jungkook's lovesickness to worsen, making him become a leech at his other friends' sides as he allowed himself to rot. Maybe it sounded dramatic, but Jungkook felt the situation was drastic enough to justify his reaction.

It was unfortunate that Jungkook's friends cared so much for him. Had they simply allowed him to rot in his own self-inflicted misery, he wouldn't have found himself at the receiving end of Kim Namjoon's wrath as he scolded at him to go on the date he'd set up for him with his lab partner.

To be fair, his friends had offered him many options. They'd tried to get Jungkook out of his shell and wingman him in order to find a girl for himself. They'd attempted to get him to confess to you. Hell, they even putting Jungkook on dating apps where he had full control of who, when, and how he met a partner. But Jungkook rejected every option.

This was not good enough for Kim Namjoon.

After having dealt with a heartsick Jungkook for far too long, he gave him an ultimatum. Either he confessed to you, or he'd have to at least attempt a date with a nice girl of Joon's choosing.

So, it seemed like Jungkook was going on a date.

"Sora's going to hate me. I make a terrible date. Last time I went on a date, I panicked when my date tried to kiss me and closed the door on her face. I'm pretty sure I slammed it her nose," Jungkook whined as he rubbed at the back of his head.

"Jungkook, believe it or not, girls do like you. Sora asked me to set you guys up. C'mon, just try it out. This could be that romcom romance you're always talking about."

"Doubt it," he murmured sadly, "But fine. I guess I have nothing to lose."

Namjoon clapped his hands gladly, proceeding to pat Jungkook's back in encouragement, "Good! It'll go great, Jungkook, don't worry."

"I- I don't even know what to wear or what to say, I-" Jungkook found himself begin to panic, "What if-"

"Jungkook," Joon interrupted, "You're overthinking this. Sora's a nice girl. She's been asking me about you since you stopped by my bio class that one time. She's probably excited about this, there's nothing for you to worry about," he reassured.

Still, Jungkook remained overly anxious about it. Also, how was he supposed to explain this to you? He didn't want you to think that he, that he was interested in pursuing other girls. It was a dumb thought to have, but he couldn't help it. What if the feelings were somehow, by some act of god, reciprocated and Jungkook was ruining it by going on a date with someone else? It wasn't like he could possibly hide this from you. You were best friends, for god's sakes!

But one more look to Joon's annoyed expression told Jungkook that he could under no circumstance call this off.

And so he was going on a date.

When the day of the date arrived, Jungkook was even more nervous than he had imagined.

He had no one to ask for advice, no one to confide in so that his nerves didn't go overboard and drove him to insanity.

Okay, he could've easily asked one of his closest friends like maybe Jimin? Or perhaps Taehyung? Maybe even Mingyu. They were all very successful with dating, whether that be casually or long-term. Jungkook was really the only outlier in his friend group to fail miserably at the dating aspect of life.

And every other social aspect, really.

Unfortunately, there was only one person that could provide Jungkook with the comfort and reassurance he needed right now. And that was you.

You, however, were the one person Jungkook could simply never tell about this.

Regardless of the endless times he'd convinced himself that you did not care for him in any way other than platonic, the fear of somehow disappointing you by going on a date with someone else completely prevented him from even considering telling you. It was stupid and delusional, but, well, so was Jungkook.

The very (extremely) small thought that maybe you liked him back continued to bug him even as he got dressed for his date. He'd subconsciously dressed in an outfit he knew you liked on him and had even done his hair the way that usually had you running your fingers through it. In his head, there was a battle between pleasing you despite your absence from this date, and feeling immense guilt over it.

Somehow, Jungkook managed to push those thoughts aside, choosing to try and calm himself down as he waited for the time to arrive.

He attempted to implant happy thoughts into his mind. The possibility of this date going well was one among them. What if Sora was a perfect match for him? What if this was what he should've done years ago instead of closing himself off to relationships due to his hopeless crush? Who knows, maybe he'd fall in love and become a former virgin within a few months.

But then life decided to catch him off guard again with a sudden knock on his door.

He knew in his heart who it could be, but he senselessly hoped it was anyone but you, knowing he'd panic with your sudden presence.

Walking over to check the peephole, he was met with a sight he usually enjoyed seeing — you, smiling in the direction of the peephole, knowing he was watching on the other side of the door.

Hesitating a bit, he opened the door, attempting to decrease the acceleration of his heart. Was there any way he could lie to you about his plans and get you out of here within less than ten minutes? According to his phone, it was 6:32, which meant he needed to get his ass out of his apartment in the next fifteen minutes if he wanted to make it on time for the reservation Sora had made for 7.

This might've been the downside to telling you you could come over unannounced at any time. Usually, Jungkook was either at home or with you, so this arrangement had not caused any issues until now.

Upon opening the door, he was immediately caught in a simple, yet sweet hug — you were a huge hugger, a blessing and a curse to poor, touch-starved Jungkook.

You entered the apartment as soon as you pulled away, making your way inside as if you owned the place (which, you kinda did, considering how often you were here). It took you a few seconds to register Jungkook's dressed-up appearance and inevitably comment on it, interrupting your usual greeting to him.

"Oh? You're all dressed up. I love that shirt on you," you fixed at his collar as you said so, "Do you have plans today? You look really handsome."

Well, Jungkook's unofficial goal of impressing you had been accomplished. Too bad you weren't the girl he was going on a date with tonight.

After your question, you'd moved further into Kook's apartment, making your way to his couch with ease only a true best friend would have. You even grabbed at the chips Kook had left on the coffee table earlier, disregarding your surroundings due to the level of comfort you felt at his place.

"Oh, uh, I ... Joon actually set me up on a date tonight," he decided to go with the truth. Jungkook knew that he'd feel better with your encouragement at the end of the day. Maybe that was what he needed in order to calm his nerves. That, and some sort of official confirmation that he had no chance with you. Perhaps that'd be enough to get him to snap out of his delusions.

He felt bad about it as soon as your face dropped. Or maybe he imagined it. It went back to normal immediately after.

"Oh," you paused, "That's- wow. Congrats, Kook. Who's the lucky girl?", you asked as if it meant nothing. As if him going on a date wasn't a life changing event.

Which maybe it wasn't for you. Kook knew you didn't like him like that, but the stupid hope prevailed for some reason. He was driving himself insane with the idiocy behind the thought, but his hopeful nature couldn't help itself.

"Uh, you know, just some girl from Joon's class. Her name's Sora. We're, uh, going to some fancy restaurant tonight."

"Oh, fuck, did I interrupt you? Sorry, Kook. You should've told me," another flash of something made its way to your expression, but it left as fast as it came as you stood from your seat and walked back to him.

"You, uh, you look amazing, Kook. She's going to fall in love with you for sure," you smiled sweetly at him, fixing his collar again in a manner that had him screaming internally.

He didn't want anyone but you falling in love with him, but it's not like he could actually express that to you without putting your friendship at risk. So, he gave you a tight lipped smile and accepted your compliment with a scrunch of his nose.

"Is it time for you to leave? I'll leave you alone. Wouldn't want to interrupt you in case the date goes well," you went to joke, chuckling lightheartedly as you usually did, but Jungkook swore there was something off in your tone. Call it wishful thinking.

"You don't have to leave," he mumbled.

"It's okay, Kookie. Good luck with your date," you went to pick up your bag that you'd put down when you came in before approaching him by the door once more, "Here. For good luck," and a soft kiss was pressed against his cheek.

He stood there dumbly after that. Maybe he mumbled a thank you or a see you later, he wasn't too sure. He was far too distracted by your proximity and touch and then suddenly he was alone again.

Kisses on the cheek weren't exactly a tendency for you. They practically never happened. At least not with Jungkook's aversion to intimate touch. Hugs were usually as far as you two went due to his shy demeanor in that area. Perhaps you were somehow asserting your place in his life? But it was most likely not from a place of possessiveness as Jungkook's dumb mind wished for it to be. You were just genuinely the sweetest girl he'd ever met, and so you kissed him with the best of intentions. Jungkook would just have to keep it in the back of his mind for his date.

... Which was starting quite soon, he realized as he finally rushed to leave.

With one last resigned sigh, he looked at himself in the mirror and finally made his way out, hoping tonight would be the first step to getting over his rom-com wish of being with you.

Jungkook's nerves did not diminish on the drive to the restaurant, much less as he walked in and was led to his reservation. It was a bit of a shock to him to find Sora already sitting there, but perhaps it was a sign that she actually liked him. Sometimes it was difficult for Jungkook to believe anyone could possibly be into him romantically. He knew people found him attractive and had been prepositioned many times in his life, but no one had ever actually shown interest any further than that. Maybe it was how socially awkward he was, or perhaps how insistent he was on chasing after you in particular.

He shook these thoughts out of his mind for the time being, opting to arrive over to his date as quick as possible.

"Hi," he said dumbly as he took a seat across from her.

"Hi, Jungkook," she smiled back.

She did not seem as nervous as Jungkook did. She seemed quite calm actually, which only made Jungkook more anxious. That and the way she'd checked him out as he sat, but he'd put that thought into the back burner for now.

"Uh, sorry if I kept you waiting," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands.

"Don't worry about it. I'd have waited longer if necessary," then she leaned over the table, as close as she could through the distance and whispered, "I've been waiting for a chance with you for a while."

Okay, that was forward. Was that good?

"Oh, uh, well, I, uh, I hope I don't disappoint you, then," he felt himself blush.

She gave him a smile that made him feel as if she was in on some joke he was unaware of, "You won't. Trust me," and that was that.

The waiter came soon after and wrote down their orders, offering them some breadsticks and beverages as they waited. It was pretty calm during that time. Maybe even too calm.

The conversation didn't exactly flow naturally between the two. It was a little static here and there, forcing Jungkook to think of ice breakers for first dates that he'd seen on some Buzzfeed article he'd read back in high school, back when he was first introduced to the idea of dating.

Sora was nice and extremely pretty, but Jungkook did not feel that spark he'd always hoped for. He should've known the moment he walked in. There were no bells playing nor did he feel dizzy at the sight of her. Jungkook knew these were unrealistic measures to find the love of his life, but they had been present when he met you and still remained prevalent in his current feelings for you. With Sora, however? It was as if he was awkwardly making conversation to his science partner after having finished a project — it was just filling the silence.

But Sora looked happy. She continued to smile at him, giggle harder than Jungkook would expect (his humor wasn't really at its peak performance tonight), and would even reach over to grace at his arm every so often. When the food came, she made eyes at him as she ate. It was a pretty sight, but her intentions confused Jungkook. Was she flirting with him?

He felt out of his league in this situation. Like there was some context he didn't have.

And then the other shoe dropped.

Sora began playing footsie with him under the table, interrupting him as he responded to some benign question she'd asked about his major. She hummed in response, tilting her head to the side and biting her lip flirtatiously at him. It unnerved Jungkook, causing him to stutter endlessly at the contact. God, he was so unaccustomed to touch; any kind of touch, really. Sure, you and him hugged from time to time, but he avoided any further touch, knowing he'd make an embarrassment out of himself if you ever did anything similar to what Sora was doing.

You'd never questioned his proclivity against intimate touch. You just respected it, keeping touch to a minimum and letting him take the reins any time you hugged or lounged on the same couch — there was the very rare cuddling, but it never went further than shoulders pressed up against each other.

It's not as if Jungkook was a germophobe or anything of that genre. He was quite fine with pats on the back, handshakes, hell, even tackling when playing sports, but it was the more intimate touches he stayed away from. He just felt entirely out of place, knowing he'd embarrass himself somehow. Thankfully, he'd never been in such a situation until now.

Jungkook didn't want to judge Sora too harshly by how forward she was being. It was nice to be wanted, especially by someone as appealing as Sora. It wasn't her fault that he was a little socially inept when it came to relationships. No, that was entirely on him.

He'd seen countless romance movies and had even watched as all his friends interacted with their significant others. Jungkook knew what was expected in a relationship, yet he just wasn't feeling it with Sora. Any time you touched him, he found himself wanting more but holding back due to how much more he wanted. In this instance, he just felt nervous as to what type of touch would come next from the girl sitting across from him.

Then came the question.

"Wanna get out of here?", she smiled after dessert, the same flirtatious grin on her glossy lips.

Jungkook physically gulped at the implication, but somehow found himself responding.

"O-okay."

Was that enthusiastic enough?

Jungkook had been a gentleman. He'd walked Sora home, held her hand, and pulled her close to him as they swung their hands back and forth. It was nice. Sora was a really nice girl when she wasn't fucking Jungkook with her eyes — was that what she'd been doing? He wasn't exactly sure.

But his question was answered pretty quickly.

Kook had insisted on walking her all the way up to her apartment. She lived off campus and it was after dark, it just seemed like the proper thing to do. Even if the date hadn't been exactly what he'd hoped (through no real fault of Sora's), he wanted to remain polite to her.

Turning to him as they stepped foot in front of her door, Sora's hand went to rub at his arm, thumb feeling at the skin of his bicep in a sensual(?) way. Her eyes deemed slightly hooded and her grin was still present.

She took two steps forward, taking his lack of movement as indication he was okay with her coming closer. Which he was, but he was still anxious about it. Would she kiss him? Should he kiss her?

Her arms wrapped at the back of his neck, the hold causing him to lean down slightly. His balance left him at the sudden proximity, making him naturally wrap his arms around her waist. He kept the touch as feather-light as possible, not wanting to cross any boundary.

That's when she kissed him.

And it wasn't just any kiss. It wasn't like the two or three kisses Jungkook had shared with other girls in the past — no mere peck or short-lived kiss. Sora was very forward with her kiss, making Jungkook yelp in surprise as he tried to follow.

He kept at it only for a few moments before attempting to pull away with shy mutters and excuses, 'wait,' 'shit, i-' and 'maybe we shouldn't' were a few of them, with the last one finally making her fully pull away.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm just not sure I want to ...", he grimaced at himself, feeling like an idiot.

Sora was a pretty girl, clearly into him and seemingly willing to put up with his weird personality. Jungkook was simply being an idiot, thinking that he could go on a date and suddenly be over his years-long crush and-

"What? What do you mean?" she interrupted his thoughts, looking rather peeved off.

"I, uh, I mean that, uh, maybe we should wait? I don't wanna rush things and-"

Just as he pulled out the first excuse he could think of, — What, Jungkook? Were you really thinking of going out with her again or would you just ghost her? — she interrupted him again.

She looked at him with clear annoyance overtaking her features, arms on her hips as she moved her weight from one foot to another. Anyone who saw her could clearly see some sort of frustration in her demeanor.

"Jungkook, what did you think this was?", her tone was incredulous, "What was the point of all this?"

"W-what do you mean?"

She scoffed.

Okay, she didn't look as happy to be there anymore.

"We to some shitty restaurant late at night, I invite you back to my place, we kiss. What did you think I was expecting from all this?" she continued.

Jungkook was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he was too mortified to actually respond.

It was sex, right? Sora had seen this as a hookup rather than a date.

God damn you, Namjoon.

"I- it's not-"

"I thought you were interested. Hell, Joon said you kept asking him about me. That you were into me," she groaned, "I should've known. Everyone knows you're a prude. I've seen you shut down other girls, I just thought maybe I'd be an exception," she continued, confusing Jungkook further.

Fuck, had Joon tried setting him up with Sora? Jungkook knew his heart must've been in the right place, but he had probably misread Sora. They were clearly not compatible.

Jungkook kind of felt like he was going to cry. He felt so embarrassed by the situation. And there was no way he could clarify the white lie Joon had told her. It'd just exasperate her more.

"Do you have nothing to say? Should I just go into my apartment now?"

Jungkook looked at his shoes in remorse, feeling as if he'd actually done something wrong.

Kissing her had been a mistake. He should've stayed as he was, waiting for the perfect girl to come around. Should've trusted his gut despite Joon's insistence.

"I'm sorry. I, I didn't mean to lead you on."

She scoffed again, "Yeah, clearly. You should just go. And tell Joon to never set me up again," and with that, she'd entered her apartment, slamming the door on Jungkook in the process.

Jungkook stood there for a minute or two as he contemplated what had just happened.

Part of him was glad it had stopped where it did, while another part felt like an idiot for not going through with it. Granted, he had not expected such a big reaction to his rejection, but he could've used this opportunity to lose his virginity, maybe force himself to move on from you.

But Jungkook knew that would've been an even more disastrous experience. He didn't want to sleep with anyone just to get it over with. He wanted love. He wanted you.

With his tail between his legs, Jungkook went back home, disappointed at his first attempt at putting himself out there. He also made a mental note to spit in Joon's soup or something.

The way back home had been a mess of emotions.

Jungkook went from embarrassed, to angry, to confused, and ended up settling on mortified. That, and pathetic. That feeling seemed to always be present in Jungkook's mind, but tonight he felt a little more pathetic than usual.

I mean, he had had, by all means, what could be considered a perfect date. He had a girl who clearly wanted to take things further, yet he panicked like an idiot and caused her to blow up at him. At that moment Jungkook couldn't really find it in him to blame Sora for her reaction. He should've realized from Sora's advancements that she'd want more from him and shouldn't've fed into it throughout the night.

He wondered what you'd think of it all.

Would you have found Sora's reaction reasonable? Would you have comforted him after such a mortifying night.

Well, it turned out Jungkook would find out sooner than expected.

Despite your denial to his offer of staying over at his place while he was gone, he still found you sitting on his couch as soon as he entered the threshold of his apartment - you did have a key, after all.

You got up as soon as you saw him come in, clearly having been expecting him. Your demeanor did not seem as casual and laid back as it had a few hours ago. On the contrary, you looked troubled.

But Jungkook was sure he looked equally as troubled, if not more. He felt shock at seeing you there despite having left earlier, but it soon left him due to bigger matters taking over his mind at the moment.

"Kook," you started, putting your weight on your knees as you knelt on the couch.

"Uhm, hi. What- what are you doing here?"

He was hesitant in making his way to his own couch. Your presence was unnerving him for some reason (well, at least a different reason than usual). He could feel something different in the air. Your demeanor wasn't your usual.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, looking down to your lap.

"I don't- I'm not really sure."

That was unlike you.

"I thought you didn't want to stay in case I, uh, I brought Sora back home."

He didn't mean it in an accusatory manner, but perhaps his disheartened demeanor made it sound as such.

"Sorry, I can leave. I- I'll leave," you went to get up, but were swiftly stopped by Jungkook when he walked over to you, closing the distance.

"Don't- Please don't go. I could use the company," he offered you a loop-sided smile, hoping it didn't give away how shitty he was feeling.

You looked up at him now with the closer proximity between you. Jungkook knew you could probably see the glassiness in his eyes due to tonight's events. He hadn't cried on his way home, per say, but he had been pretty damn close to. And you, being you, would probably be able to clock it immediately.

"Are you okay?", you finally asked.

"It was just ... a very shitty day," he chuckled despite himself.

The two of you took a seat on the couch, the tension somehow still loud.

"What happened?"

"Oh, you know. I was kind of dumb to think a girl could possibly like me like that. Joon meant well, but ... it's just not for me, I guess."

He wanted to diminish it. To keep it vague so he wouldn't have to open that can of worms. The can of worms that were his deep-seethed insecurities and his never ending crush.

Turning your body to face him, your eyebrows furrowed in worry, bottom lip sticking out a bit in a subtle pout.

"Jungkook," your voice was serious, "Tell me what happened."

"You first," he rebutted, "Tell me why you're here."

He surprised himself a bit. Usually he had no problem letting you comfort him when he was down in the dumps. But something about your demeanor needed to be addressed first. That small seed of hope in the back of his mind was twinkling at it. Could it be? Had you stayed because-

"I didn't want you to bring her back home," you said after a few moments of silence, voice almost a whisper.

Your eyes were forcefully shut and a breath left you. It was as if it had been a huge weight on your shoulders. Though you didn't seem more relaxed at letting it out. If anything, you appeared even more pent up.

And Jungkook? His body was reacting to such a statement. The implications behind it had his heart racing and his hands clamming up. It'd be a punishment beyond belief if it didn't mean what he thought he meant.

But still, he asked.

"Why?"

"Please don't make me say it."

"I need you to. Please."

Sora was completely out of his mind despite the conversation orbiting around her. All he was thinking about was the pained tone in your voice when you'd said you didn't want her back here with Jungkook.

He felt sickly at the strange satisfaction that brought. Your pain was the last thing Jungkook could ever want, but this was the kind of pain Jungkook could remedy. Only one word from you — or rather, three — and he'd take it all away. He just needed a bit more from you to not risk it all. He needed you to take the risk, however selfish that might've been.

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, but never garnered the courage to actually say something. It was rare for you to not speak your mind around Jungkook, and that knowledge only made his heart race more. Wanting to encourage you, he scoot over a bit closer, placing his hand atop your own that was lying on your lap.

A soft smile was his reward for such an action. That and the brushing of your fingers before fully grasping his hand in yours. He loved holding your hand, even if he rarely allowed himself to do so.

"Why didn't you want me to bring her back home?", he asked again.

You sighed, nodding to yourself in what seemed to be self assurance before turning your eyes to his and finally speaking.

"Because I like you. And it would've killed me if you lost your virginity to someone else," you said in one quick breath. Your confidence pretty much left you after that. "I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I- I can't help it. I like you so much it hurts. I was never going to tell you, but I had no idea how much it'd actually affect me if you ever got a girlfriend," you continued, hand squeezing his own every so often, "I thought I'd be ready to see you find someone else and take that as a sign to move on but, fuck, I felt like shit walking out of here this afternoon knowing you were going to see another girl."

By the time you'd finished your confession, your eyes were glassy. They weren't really facing Jungkook's anymore, but he could still tell. His eyes were glassy too.

His heart had stopped within first sentence. He wasn't sure how he was currently sitting up, somehow not having passed out at the initial confession. He also found himself completely mute, unable to react to what was a life changing moment for him.

"Kook?", you called his attention, hand letting go of his own and retracting into yourself, "I kinda need you to say something here," you let out an awkward chuckle, eyes wide and worried in contrast.

"I- I, fuck," he stammered, "I almost slept with Sora tonight," was what he had not planned to say whatsoever, but still somehow found leaving his lips.

"Oh."

Yes. 'Oh.'

"Wait, I didn't mean-"

But you stood up, still refusing to look at him.

"I should go. I'm sorry if I got in the way of your plans."

You tried to push past him, but he towered over you, stubborn in letting you leave but still too panicked to return your sentiment.

He felt like a complete and utter piece of shit.

"Wait, please don't go," he pleaded, hand bracketing around your wrist.

"I think I embarrassed myself enough, Jungkook."

"You didn't! Please, I don't know why I said that. It wasn't true, I- I couldn't go through with it. That's what I meant to say," that seemed to get you to stop fighting him, but your sniffled and glassy eyes remained.

"It's fine, Jungkook. You don't have to try and spare my feelings. I knew it wasn't mutual, I didn't mean anything by it, I-"

That was seemingly what broke the camel's back.

"It is mutual! I'm in love with you!", he interrupted, surprising himself even more than you.

Quiet fell for a few moments, breaths as heavy as the tension of the room.

"What?"

"That's why I could never go on dates. Why I always said no when the guys set me up. Why I shut you off any time you got a boyfriend ... Why I stopped things with Sora before they could go too far."

His admission got you to finally look at him. The look in your eyes was indescribable to Jungkook. He'd never seen it before. There was shock mixed with something else. Perhaps hope? That's more or less what he felt at the moment.

"Are you lying to me?", you asked in a sudden shift of demeanor, now a serious edge to your tone.

"What? N-no! I- I love you. I've been in love with you for years. You can ask any of the guys. It's embarrassing and time-consuming, but it's always been there. I swear it's-"

That's as far as Jungkook got. He'd never be able to recall what other embarrassing detail about his crush he was about to share, but he found himself unable to care as soon as he realized what the source of his interruption was.

This kiss was incomparable — despite having shared a heavy kiss with someone else less than an hour prior.

No, this kiss was full of emotions Jungkook would need a thesaurus to describe. He was completely out of his league (but, really, when was he not?), lips attempting to follow your hungry ones but losing the battle.

The discrepancy in experience between the two of you was entirely too visible in the kiss, but Jungkook wasn't complaining. He was getting the better end of the stick and you didn't seem to find any issue, so he just counted his blessings and continued to kiss you to his heart's desire.

Your tongue sucked at his own, making his eyes roll back. His hands, which were usually shy in touching you, were greedy in grabbing at and squeezing any part of you available to him. The usual shyness was replaced with sheer need.

Usually, he would've been embarrassed by the needy whimpers he kept leaving against your lips, but he was too into it to stop. You'd reward every whimper with a slight pull of his hair, so he saw it as a good sign and allow himself to let loose.

When he was almost out of air, you pulled away, though Jungkook's lips attempted to follow, not wanting a single second of separation from you. He was able to steal two pecks and one lick of lips before you pressed your arms against his chest to stop him.

"I'm in love with you too," you were breathless as you said it, "I just thought it was safer to tell you I liked you to, you know, preserve some of my dignity in case it wasn't mutual," you chuckled.

Jungkook's mind was somewhere in Kansas at the moment, not really paying full attention to your words. Knowing you loved him back was life-changing, but the monkey-brained part of him was itching for more of your touch at the moment.

"Where'd your mind go?", you giggled when you took note of his dazed look.

Your hands went to pull him closer once more, which he accepted immediately by locking his arms around your waist.

"What? I, uh, nothing," he mumbled, eyes not meeting your own.

God, how had he gotten horny over a simple kiss?

You caught on quickly, grinning up at him as you attempted to fish at his eyes, following his head any time he tried to turn away from your view but failing. It was comedic in contrast to how tense things had just been.

"What's wrong, Kookie?", you sing-sang, "Something on your mind?"

He gave you what he was sure was a pathetic, pleading look, "Please don't be mean to me. My brain's barely catching up to what's happening," he whined.

"I get to be mean for you. You almost slept with another girl tonight," you huffed jokingly.

With a wince, he groaned, to which you just giggled, causing him to drop his head into your shoulder.

"That's not fair."

"I think it's pretty fair. Here I was, pining over you and you're out there about to give it away to some random girl," you continued.

His response came in the form of nuzzling into your neck, encouraged by your arms pulling him closer.

"Stop," he whined, "It was so shitty. I hated it."

You pulled him away from the comfort of the crook of your neck (much to his dismay) to look at him once more. Luckily for him, your arms were still on his shoulders, allowing him to retain close proximity to you — he was unsure how he'd ever accept any distance between you from now on.

There was some worry in your eyes. Or at least that's what the furrow in your brows and the slight pout made him think.

"What happened?"

"Oh, uh, it was nothing. She just ... I guess Joon's not that good at matchmaking," he explained, not really finding it worth it to go back to that moment. Not when he had something so much better now, and weirdly enough as a result of his shitty night.

You offered him another pout, reaching up to give him a sweet kiss as an acceptance of him not wanting to give too many details.

"Mmm, wait, not yet," he mumbled when you went to pull away, this time successful in keeping your lips locked.

Despite your giggle in response, you continued kissing him, soon going back to the pace you'd had during your earlier kiss. It soon turned heavy and wet, making Jungkook's mind daze once more.

Jungkook was on a mission, refusing to let the kiss end. Putting his all into the kiss, he allowed you to take his mind away, making him all but literally melt at your touch. Matching sighs left you, the sound mixing with the squelch of your tongues licking and sucking at each other.

Eventually, Jungkook turned around — lips still connected — and let himself be pushed to sit back on the couch, with you straddling his lap as a result. The newfound warmth of your body atop his own made him dizzy with desire. It was a feeling he'd never experienced before, and it was quickly growing addictive.

A high whine was left against your lips when your hands moved onto his hair, pulling at it softly at first and increasing the intensity based on his sounds. He melted under you, knowing he'd be willing to let you do whatever you wanted to him without even having to ask.

Hands explored your body, feeling an innate need to map out every inch and pull you as close to him as possible, almost to the point of molding with one another.

Your lips explored his neck for a bit, occasionally nibbling and licking at the skin. The contrast between the warmth of your breath and the coolness of your tongue had him sighing out in pleasure.

Who would've thought having his neck kissed could feel so orgasmic?

He wasn't sure whether he was happy or frustrated when your lips found his own again. As petulant as it sounded, he wanted your touch everywhere, all at once. His skin was burning, as were his loins — and no contact further than some kissing had been done.

"Mm, Kook-" you failed at interrupting the kiss, trapped into another and another, "Shit, Kook," you tried again, but easily fell back into it, letting Jungkook lick into your mouth, "Wait, baby."

Baby?

Okay, that stopped him.

"What's wrong?", Jungkook was sure he looked completely gone. His eyes were still glued to your lips and his chest heaved with his heavy breath.

"Are you sure you want to keep going with this? I don't want to push you," you asked, breath equally erratic.

He could've laughed at the question.

There was no doubt in his mind that he needed to keep going. His body was already about to explode, and you were asking him if he wanted to stop? He felt let out a silent whine at the mere suggestion of stopping.

He kissed you again, hands gripping your hips and instinctively pulling you closer.

You took this as a hint to crumble his sanity even further by beginning to grind on him, slow yet intensely. It had him hiccuping in pleasure against your lips, sighing out and allowing you access to his open mouth.

"Please- oh, fuck, please," he pleaded for nothing in particular.

"Is this okay?," you asked uselessly.

Jungkook nodded, letting his head fall back to the back of the couch as his hips pathetically humped up along with yours. There was no direct contact, but the mere stimulation had Jungkook's eyes seeing white. It was reminiscent of all those nights he'd grow too frustrated with himself and begin humping at his pillow with you in mind. He'd always been too embarrassed to acknowledge such a deprived act, but at least he could now confirm there were no grounds for comparison.

"It's so good, fuck. Want- want more."

By then, you were humping at each other like deprived animals, gasping and crying out at the contact.

Jungkook was unsure when you'd thrown off your shirt, far too distracted by the feeling of you on top of him, but his ability to think completely left him at that moment. Your hands let go of him, instead grabbing at your breasts and playing with yourself right in front of him.

It was like a wet dream come to life, mocking him by showing him how weak and pathetic he was.

The sight had him let out an embarrassing whimper. His face reflected how pained he felt at the view, so needy and painfully horny for you.

"Y-you're so ... Fuck, please, I need- can I ... ?"

He wasn't sure what sentence he was trying to make, but the ability to feel shame had exited his mind a good while ago. To be frank, Jungkook wasn't even sure what reality he was in at the moment. The only thought occupying his mind was your body testing his resolve in a way that he knew would ruin him.

You nodded, biting your lip to prevent a smile of satisfaction as Jungkook let his head fall in between your breasts, lips immediately mapping out the are through kisses and needy flicks of the tongue. He grew immediately obsessed with the feeling of your skin under his touch. It was soft, supple, just perfect to the touch. The scent of your perfume was even stronger now, and Jungkook knew then that the smell alone could probably condition him into a boner from now on.

His hips became frantic then, almost pushing you off him with their intensity. But you took it, silently leading him with your own movements as you held onto him for support.

He was beginning to lose himself, knowing an orgasm was approaching. The fleeting thought of your own orgasm made its way into his mind, but it was quickly gone when you started to breathe out encouragements for him to cum, claiming you were right there with him, that you needed him to ruin his pants for you.

When it finally took him, his eyes crossed, head thrown back as he babbled nonsense in absolute bliss. His brain was barely able to register when a few moments later, your own orgasm hit you just as hard. His hips never gave up, still softly swaying with yours as his high went down. He could've sworn he lost consciousness for a few second, as he finally became conscious with himself again when you were kissing at his neck again.

"Fuck. I wasn't planning on that happening," you giggled between soft pecks to the already tattered skin.

"Is this real?", he mused after a few moments of silence. His hands even went to squeeze at your hips, making sure you were truly there.

Unfortunately for him, that's when you left his lap, making him whine as he sat up to close your distance.

"That's not even the best of it, pretty boy," were your last words before turning towards his room, smiling at him to follow you.

Jungkook, being Jungkook, did not think twice before getting up and following you without further instruction, even tripping in the process.

~

Within just a few minutes of being in his room, you were down to your panties and him to his boxers. As mandated by nature, you were sitting on him again, holding him down by pinning his arms above his head as you made out with him as nasty as you'd done in his living room.

Jungkook had no complaints. If you wanted him tied up and to your mercy, he'd go as far as to beg for the opportunity. His mind was not his own anymore, and neither was his body. As far as he was concerned, he belonged to you — a totally reasonable thought to have.

To be fair, it was quite hard for him to think while the girl of his dreams was lying on top of him with her tongue in his mouth. Not that he was complaining, not at all.

Surprisingly to Jungkook, his hands took free rein of your body. They went from your hair to your back to your ass to your waist and back to your hair. A whole tour of your body was had before Jungkook decided to take a leap and sneak one of his hands between your bodies and take a route south.

Jungkook was inexperienced. That was an unfortunate fact of his life. But despite popular belief, Jungkook was not an idiot. He liked to believe that he was more knowledgeable than the average guy ... maybe. He had tried to overcompensate early during college by taking a female sexuality course and diving into the depths of reddit in order to understand the things he hadn't been able to experience first hand.

That being said, you still had to silently nudge his hand a little higher in the midst of making out, leading him to your clit before gasping into his mouth at the sensation.

His bruised ego got re-inflated quickly after, with your following reactions to his corrected movements going straight to his dick. Your hips canted against his fingers, following their movements in a desperate attempt at increasing the stimulation. Jungkook's head felt heavy at the constant sighs you'd release against his lips.

"Does ... does it feel good?", he still felt the need to ask.

You hummed into his lips in response, tightening around his fingers at the sound of his voice.

Fuck, did you like his voice?

This was something he'd need to save for future use.

Before he could continue to speak, you regrettably removed his fingers from inside you, earning a whine and a furrowed eyebrow from him.

"As much as I want you to finger me, I'd rather defile you," you said with all seriousness, giggling when Jungkook's reaction didn't go further than wide eyes.

"It's okay, baby. I'll make it good for you, I promise," your hand laid on his cheek, caressing it in a gentle manner, creating a huge contrast with your soaked panties sitting right on top of his stained boxers. That was just something he had to ignore in order to not burst spontaneously.

"That's not really what I'm worried about," he avoided eye contact, though his hands remained on you.

"Then what's wrong, Kookie?"

"What if ... what if it's not good for you. I, uh, I know you've done it with a few guys before — N-not judging or anything! Just, I- I don't want to disappoint you or, uhm, embarrass myself," he mumbled some parts lower than others, a little embarrassed by his insecurities on top of it all.

"Koo," you pouted at him, tilting his chin towards you — something that otherwise would've had him reeling — "I've already had way more fun with you than with anyone else. You know why?", you gave him that comforting smile he loved, "Because I like you, and I know you like me just as much. And I know you'll do everything in your power to make this good for me cause you're just ... you're such a good guy. This is just about making each other feel good. Okay? No need to worry about making me feel good, I promise I already am," you punctuated your statement with a kiss to his nose, giggling when he scrunched it.

"Yeah, I, uh, yeah, okay."

He suddenly found himself blushing, having undermined your proximity, or, you know, the fact that you were naked and on top of him, coaxing him into sex that he very much wanted to have with you.

Before you could say anything else, a fiery part of him took over, pulling you into him for a steamy kiss, wanting to express all his word-vomit through actions rather than stumbled words. There was no better way for him to show you how he felt about you, how good he wanted to make you feel. His words would often fail him, so he opted to show you through his actions.

Mid kiss, you got up from his lap, though Jungkook did not allow for the kiss to end, opting to lean upwards and sit up so he could keep himself connected to you. It was awkward, having you lean down as you blindly removed your panties, but it felt necessary to Jungkook. Within seconds you were already back on his lap, clawing at his own boxers to try and remove them while still sitting. It was awkward and difficult, but the job was eventually done, leaving the two of you nude as Jungkook attempted not to hump into you like a needy animal.

"I- I want- God, I want to fuck you so bad," he mumbled in a daze.

"Fuck, you have no idea, Kookie."

You sounded equally as wrecked, already one orgasm in and completely drenched above him. It made Jungkook feel powerful and wanted. He'd never felt desired like this before. It was making him lose his mind. Every passing second without being inside you made him more and more antsy.

Then you finally lifted yourself up, this time prying Jungkook's hands away from your hips so you could lean towards his end table where he knew you'd find condoms.

That shocked Jungkook, making him look at you with wide eyes.

"How-

"I know the guys have been trying to get you laid for ages. Jimin told me he got you some condoms," you chuckled at his shock as you nonchalantly ripped the packet open with your mouth, — fuck, why was that so hot? — taking your position on his crotch once more in order to insert it.

He whimpered at the sight, too turned on to feel embarrassed over it as he ushered for you to hurry up. More tiny sounds of desperation continued to leave him as you actually slipped on the condom and lifted yourself up. The buildup drove him insane with desire. Every second felt elongated, but when the moment to finally lower yourself on him came, Jungkook swore he left this dimension.

He'd read about what it was like. Hell, he'd watched endless porn depicting what were meant to represent virgins (but he was aware were just actors), hoping to understand what the feeling of finally being enveloped by an actual pussy would feel like. But it was safe to say none of it came close to reality.

He was unsure of what he must've looked like to you at that moment, but he truly felt himself completely ruined. His mouth was agape while his eyes closed shut, eyebrows lifting so high up they were likely at his hairline. Fingers dug into your skin, careless of any bruises they could leave behind (he made a mental note of asking if he could kiss them better later, but it was buried under every other feeling at the moment). His toes curled and his body hair rose in goosebumps. Every other part of himself went unaccounted for, as pleasure took over his ability to process anything else.

It was the safest feeling possible. He knew it was an odd way to describe it, but he truly felt like he was made to be inside you. Like he was fitting a part of the puzzle he'd been looking for forever.

On top of that was the immense pleasure, of course. The incoherent pleas and whimpers leaving his lips were a testament of it.

He begged and pleaded and cried and whined and made every embarrassing sound known to man as you started to move. You'd given him a few moments to get used to it, asking if you could move (you only received a gasp and a pathetic nod as a response) before you began a pace so torturously good that it had Jungkook reconsidering his religion.

"S'so good ... fuck. Oh, god, fuck, it's so- ah! shit, f-fuck me," he babbled, literally drooling at the feeling.

He was so yours in this moment, it was ridiculous. Jungkook had always claimed himself as yours (and had even subconsciously saved himself for you), but this feeling simply solidified it. There was no reality in which he wasn't made for you. Made to receive and give all the pleasure from and to you.

At first, his brain could not even process the view above him, and he was glad for it. Because as soon as he could, he was a gone man.

You mirrored his reaction to a certain extent, gasping and furrowing your brows any time his dick would hit a specific part of you that gave you that extra hit of pleasure. Your back was arched and your pelvis glued to his own. The view was something Jungkook could never forget.

"Feel so good, Kookie, fuck ... How could you be worried when it's so fucking good ..." you sighed.

You rambled praise for him, aiding tenfold to the indescribable feeling of being with you in such a bare form. Jungkook was sure his orgasm was pathetically close, but he could not bring himself to even think of it. Not when his undoing was so unimaginably euphoric.

He had no way of warning you, instead writhing and gasping under you. It was an out of body experience, taking him to a place so high he wasn't sure he would ever come back down.

And then everything went dark.

He wasn't sure how long he was unconscious for, but by the time the convulsions ended and his heart rate went back down, you were already lying down next to him. Cuddled up next to him, your fingers ran up and down his chest in a softness he'd never experienced, accompanied by the occasional peck left against his skin.

"Love you," he mumbled when his words finally found him.

"You scared me!," you sat up a bit to face him better, "Are you back with me now? Did my pussy break you?"

You were joking, but Jungkook was almost entirely sure that was what had happened.

"How long was I out for?", he turned to face you, arm wrapping around you to pull you closer.

"Just a few minutes. Was that too intense?"

"Hah, no, just ... yeah. I've never felt something like that before."

"Well, now you get to feel it any time you want," you grinned at him with a peck to his lips.

"Hmm, yeah," he mumbled happily before a thought snapped him out of his post-coital daze, "Wait, fuck, did you cum?"

"Yeah. I was almost there, Kookie, don't worry. Just had to work myself a bit more after you passed out. No biggie," you reassured him.

Before he could protest, you shushed him with your hand hovering over his mouth.

"Don't whine about it. I literally came in my pants because of you. Consider that a win."

And that was that.

Jungkook decided to let it go and instead cuddle you to sleep, completely disregarding the rollercoaster this night had been. Nothing else really seemed to matter while he held you in his arms anyways. Especially due to the warmth of your bare skin against his own, just like he'd always wanted.

to read short 1.8k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!

content: jk and reader being annoying and in their honeymoon phase, smut, afab reader, grinding, kissing, oral (m receiving), overstimulation, etc.

wc: 451 (teaser); 1842 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"God, man, I heard about Sora. I'm so sorry," Joon began, "I didn't think she'd be so mean to you. She hounded me in the hallway just an hour ago about lying to her and setting her up with a loser — sorry, her words."

This caused you to groan in annoyance, cuddling further into Jungkook at the mention of the faceless girl you'd never met but had grown to hate.

Jungkook had let you in on all the details on what had happened upon further insistence from you. It was safe to say that he had to talk you down from jumping her in the hallway (he knew you'd never actually do such a thing, but the thought counted regardless).

"Ew, don't bring her up. Jungkook's never looked in another woman's direction ever. Right, Kookie?"

It was a little inside joke between you. After having defiled him, you'd developed some healthy possessiveness over him. He was over the moon about it, always playing into it.

Joon simply chuckled, rolling his eyes at both the joke and the sight of the two of you practically cuddled up on a bench in the middle of the quad. No sense or shame for being that annoying couple, nor any care for your other friends sitting across from you, already put off by you.

"It's true," Jungkook nodded, "And that shitty date ended up working in my favor in the end, so if anything, I should be thanking you," he added.

"Finally getting you to shut up about Y/N is payment enough," he walked over to the bench you'd been sitting at, with Taehyung and Jimin sitting to the other side of it.The two had quickly learned to disregard the two of you and your lovesickness for each other, "Now get off each other. No one needs to see you sitting on Jungkook's lap at 11:30 in the morning."

"We already tried. They literally kicked me off that side of the bench so she could lay on him," grumbled Jimin before giving his attention back to Taehyung.

You got up then, nose scrunching at Kook's whine at the sudden disconnect between you, "It's fine. We were just leaving anyway," you held out your hand for him to get up.

"Let me know when the honeymoon phase is over," jested Joon as he took the seat you'd emptied.

Already on your way to leave, you turned back with a smile, "You're just jealous that me and my boyfriend are in love!", Jungkook giggled at your loudness.

"Where are we going?", he asked as he followed you mindlessly.

"To get some privacy, baby. They don't tolerate real lovers here," you joked in a mockingly serious tone.

...

find the continuation on patreon!

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[astrogossipp]

venus notes. 🩰

Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.

(comment down your venus sign & posts which you guys would like to see from my side in the future)

masterlist🪷

🩰 aries venus

Venus in Aries? Super passionate! Aries is all about passion and action, while Venus is love, beauty, and relationships. So, if you've got this combo, you're all in for fiery romance. You're into your partner big time, always wanting to keep things exciting and new. You might even be the one who starts things off. Quick to fall for someone, you dig that rush of feelings, especially if your crush gets all possessive. Yep, you can get obsessed too, thinking they're "the one". But sometimes, you pick the wrong ones, drawn to the drama. You dive in headfirst, but your passion fades fast if the fire ain't burning. You thrive on arguments or a partner who's a bit aggressive – it's just your style. Love's a thrill for you, so you act on impulse, not always taking it seriously. You're into the chase, but deep down, you want someone who's all in. You're attracted to ambitious, independent types, but in the relationship, you like to be the boss. Bold? Oh yeah! You'll straight-up tell your crush you're into them. Sure, you care about others, but yourself? That's priority. Sometimes, it causes issues in relationships, 'cause you fear losing your freedom. You'll find any excuse to be with your crush, even if it means dragging out a dry convo. Depending on how much you're into them, you might show your wild side early or play it cool. And when you're crushing, hygiene's on point, and you're dressing to impress. You won't admit your feelings outright, but you'll drop hints like crazy.

🩰 taurus venus

Venus in Taurus is renowned for instilling a profound sense of security, stability, and comfort. Individuals with this placement often take pleasure in savoring life's finer aspects, finding delight in material possessions and indulgences. Their relational and moral approach is frequently characterized as traditional or "old-fashioned". They tend to prioritize commitment and steadfastness in romantic connections, upholding conventional values in matters of love. Despite potentially limited romantic experience, those with Venus in Taurus display considerable wisdom in relationships. They exhibit a preference for actions over verbal expressions of affection, recognizing the unreliability of words at times. Their demonstrations of love are earnest and heartfelt, reflecting their belief in the significance of genuine affection. While they may refrain from overtly pursuing individuals they admire, they possess a magnetic allure that draws others toward them. Often possessing physical attractiveness themselves, they appreciate similar qualities in their partners, valuing aesthetics in relationships. Patience is a virtue for those with Venus in Taurus, as they are willing to await the arrival of a dependable, well-established partner. However, this patience can sometimes lead them to remain in unsatisfactory relationships or jobs due to concerns about financial security or other forms of stability. Despite their investment in relationships, individuals with this placement may harbor apprehensions about potential emotional hurt, which can result in them setting boundaries in love. Their cautious approach may deter them from readily reciprocating romantic advances, yet they remain dedicated once committed. They are drawn to ambitious individuals with financial stability, reflecting their own values and aspirations. While they maintain a private stance on their romantic interests, they are discerning in their choice of confidants. Fear of rejection and a desire to maintain a flawless image may occasionally hinder their pursuit of love, yet they persist in their quest for perfection in matters of the heart.

🩰 gemini venus

If your Venus is in Gemini, you're into folks who know how to talk the talk. You're all about people who are smooth talkers, good in social situations, and just plain smart. But sometimes, you get too caught up in what people say and forget to pay attention to what they do, which can cause some mix-ups. You're into exploring different kinds of beauty, art, and love styles, and you can find love in lots of places, not just with a partner. In fact, having a significant other isn't always at the top of your mind. You can be hot and cold in love, one day you're all about someone, the next they're not even on your radar. Commitment? It's not that you can't do it, but you're kinda wary of getting too deep. You like to keep things cool and smooth when you're into someone, remembering all those little details. You're after someone you can connect with on a brainy level, not just an emotional one. So yeah, you might seem a bit distant at times. But hey, you're charming as heck, so people are drawn to you. You're the friendly type, always ready to start a chat and get to know someone better. And when you're crushing, you want to be the one who makes them laugh, so watch out if someone else steals their attention! Before you get all chatty and flirty, though, you keep your feelings under wraps. Seriously, no one can tell you're into someone until you're ready to spill the beans. Gemini Venus adds a playful, fun vibe to your romantic life, and you're all about finding someone who can match your energy and keep things exciting. But deep down, you want more than just fun – you're looking for someone you can really connect with on a deeper level.

🩰 cancer venus

People with Venus in Cancer are super loving. When they fall for someone, they fall hard and fast. When they like someone, they're not subtle about it. They'll either come off as rude or super friendly, no in-between. But with their crush, they'll turn on the charm, trying to be adorable and impress them. They'll pay attention to every little detail and practice what to say in their head. They need lots of reassurance and security in relationships, or they'll feel unloved. But when they feel safe and loved, they're amazing partners. They remember every little thing about you, seriously, everything! Their love is powerful and nurturing. They'll do anything for the ones they care about, even if it means sacrificing for them. They crave deep connections and bonds with others, but they struggle to express their feelings because they're not used to being heard. They're sentimental beings, often getting lost in thoughts about past relationships. They're great at taking care of others, almost like a natural instinct. They have this motherly vibe that attracts people, especially kids. Sometimes they can get a bit too obsessed with the people they like, which can be intense. They're drawn to serious, protective types who make them feel safe. But if they're not into them back, it's like heartbreak city, and they'll go to extremes to win them over. If they settle down, they want stability and security. They're picky about who they fall for, but when they do, they're all in. They'll smother you with affection, wanting you to see how much they care. It's tough for them to spill their feelings, but if their crush is as stubborn as they are, they'll drop some major hints or just come clean. Patience and intuition are key when dealing with them!

🩰 leo venus

People with Venus in Leo are a tough nut to crack when it comes to commitment. They're all about knowing your value and what you bring to the table. If they don't see you giving them the love experience they crave, they're outta there. But watch out, they can fall for love bombs real quick. When someone showers them with attention, they eat it up, even if there are warning signs. They're elegant and charming, craving to be worshipped and adored. They want a partner who shows them off and takes pride in being with them. Winning them over? It's like a game, and they love the power trip. But in friendships, they're super generous and lovely. Sometimes they can come off as cocky, especially when they're trying to impress someone they fancy. But hey, they're great at planning epic dates and spoiling their partners. They're all about themselves too, soaking up compliments like a sponge. They might flirt with people they're not into just for kicks, which can lead to misunderstandings. But when they're truly in love, they're fiercely loyal and generous to a fault. They need someone with as much energy and zest for life as them to feel fulfilled. They're pretty decisive when it comes to their crushes. You'll know where you stand with them, no guessing games. Plus, they've got that magnetic charm that draws people in like moths to a flame. But here's the kicker: they can struggle with commitment issues. They're always chasing the next thrill, and if you don't measure up, they'll drop you like a hot potato. They'd rather start as friends or really get to know someone before diving in. And if they can't brag about you, it's game over. When they like someone, they're not shy about showing it. They'll playfully tease their crush to gauge their interest, and they've got a knack for remembering the little things. They might even go all out and buy them something special just because they mentioned wanting it.

🩰 virgo venus

People with Venus in Virgo can be real overthinkers when it comes to relationships. They nitpick and find flaws where there might not even be any. They're after partners who are genuinely interested in them, who notice the little things about them that they might miss. Remembering tiny details about them? That's a big win. They're all about providing for their significant other, creating stability and order in their relationships. They're not in a rush to fall in love 'cause they're pretty cool flying solo. But don't get it twisted, they're not against relationships, they just need to see the value in it. They're like detectives when it comes to the people they like, studying them inside and out to understand their feelings. They're not the most romantic folks, but they're all about giving you the kind of love that suits you best. They're pretty savvy when it comes to love, relationships, and money. They've got high standards and are picky about who they like. They want to feel special and seen by their partner. They might attract a lot of attention, but catching the eye of someone they're into? That's a whole different story. They've got a playful side, enjoying simple and elegant things. If they're not starting off as friends with their crush, it's probably not gonna go anywhere. They're all about testing loyalty before diving into anything serious. They'll get shy around their crush but will jump at any chance to help them out, just to show they care. They might seem a bit confusing, giving mixed signals, but they're just playing it cool. They won't chase after their crush forever, though. These folks know their worth. Physical touch is their love language, so don't be surprised if they're always trying to playfully wrestle with you or lend a hand. They'll take any chance they get to chat with their crush, even if it means asking to partner up for a project. If their crush can meet their needs as a friend, they'll quickly start imagining a romantic future together. But remember, with these folks, slow and steady wins the race.

🩰 libra venus

Alright, let's dive in! Libra Venus folks are like straight out of a romance novel, smooth talkers and super dreamy. They're total eye candy, but sometimes they hold back 'cause they're scared of looking too soft. Even though they might play it cool, they're secretly love gurus. Seriously, they've got this knack for loving people just right, like they've got a playbook or something. They're suckers for romantic flicks and dream of being treated like royalty. They just want to know their partner's head over heels for them. And they're not stingy with affection either, they'll spoil you rotten. But here's the thing: they're hopeless romantics. They love to flirt, but when they find someone who really lights their fire, they're all in. Love's their main motivation, and they're all about keeping things fair and making sure everyone feels seen. But sometimes, they need a little extra validation themselves to feel secure, which can make them clingy. They've got killer style, and even if they don't, they can rock any look. They're all about making others happy, sometimes to a fault. They dig people who can flirt back, have killer fashion sense, and are down for whatever. Libra Venus folks aren't about taking it slow. They're all about diving headfirst into the action. When they're into someone, they're not shy about it. They'll crack jokes about being together and go all out to win their crush over. They're big daydreamers, always picturing their crush in different scenarios. And they're not afraid to shoot their shot, even if it means embarrassing themselves a bit. If they're not sure about their feelings, they'll keep it under wraps until they figure it out. They're all about cheesy pick-up lines and making their crush smile. They'll do whatever it takes to win them over, even if it means biting their lip and winking. And if their crush shows interest back, get ready for some serious blushing!

🩰 scorpio venus

Alright, let's break it down. People with Scorpio Venus might have a thing for the wrong crowd because they're not feeling too confident. They can latch onto someone real quick and get super intense about it, but they're not easy catches themselves. It takes them a hot minute to decide if they're in it for the long haul, but once they commit, they're in it for life. They've got this mysterious, captivating vibe that draws folks in like magnets. They're all about passion in relationships and they want someone who's all in. Plus, they've got this knack for attracting romantic attention without even trying. But watch out, they can get a bit possessive 'cause once they're into someone, they're all in. They want to be needed by their partner, and they're not big on sharing. They might be into people who are open-minded and don't judge, 'cause they're not big on sharing their feelings. Or they might dig someone who's just as mysterious and seductive as they are. They need friends they can trust, and they're drawn to darker colors like black. They're not big on PDA, but they've definitely got some serious sex appeal. These folks ride a rollercoaster of emotions when they've got a crush. One minute, they're head over heels, the next, they're kicking themselves for catching feelings again. They won't make the first move unless they're sure their crush is into them too. If they do start talking to their crush, they'll try to play it cool at first, but once things are official, they're all about that energy and excitement. They're suckers for old-school romance and passion.

🩰 sagittarius venus

Okay, let's break it down. These folks are total jokesters and love cracking people up, but they can also be a bit wishy-washy when it comes to their feelings for someone. They might dig folks who are a bit obsessed with them, but they also get a kick out of charming people who play hard to get. They're on the lookout for that one special someone who really catches their eye. And let's be real, they can be a bit full of themselves, especially when it comes to love. But hey, it's all part of their charm, right? When they're in love, they're all about having a good time and going on adventures. They might be down for commitment, but they're cautious about who they commit to. They need a partner who's just as fun-loving as they are, otherwise, they'll get bored real quick. They crave that thrill of love and might act on impulse when they're feeling it. They hate feeling tied down and want to keep their freedom because, at the end of the day, they belong to themselves. They're not big on emotions or emotional people, but they do want that passionate love, even if they're not ready to commit to it fully. They're drawn to independent, fun-loving folks who have a bit of influence or power. Their feelings come and go like the wind, and they can be sensitive to rejection sometimes. They'd rather chill with their friends than deal with lovers 'cause friends give them more freedom. They'll show you they care by making a big deal out of the things they think are important. They might even be open to exploring different kinds of relationships, like open ones. And yeah, men with Sagittarius Venus tend to have a thing for women from other countries.

🩰 capricorn venus

Alright, let's simplify this. So, folks with a Capricorn Venus aren't big on showing their feelings openly. They're more about investing in the relationship for the long haul. They like to feel needed and show love in practical ways, like providing security and stability.They're super loyal but can get jittery if things don't feel stable. They're not great at expressing their need for care and nurturing, but they crave it deep down.When they find someone they're serious about, they're all in. They can come off as a bit blunt sometimes, but that's just their style. They're into classy, professional vibes, and they've got a secret, wild side, especially in the bedroom.They can be a tad controlling and protective when they're into someone. They're not the type to shout their crush from the rooftops, though. They keep it on the down-low or share it with close pals.Rejection hits them hard, and they might get cold and distant. They attract a lot of friends who crush on them, but they're all about impressing their main squeeze. They'll drop everything to be there for their crush, even if it means ditching their own plans.They're not shy and will chat up a storm. Body language is big for them, and they're social butterflies who also enjoy their alone time.Spirituality is a big deal for them, and they can seem a bit distant sometimes. They're not into clingy or flighty types; they dig someone strong and independent. Their soft side only comes out when they feel totally safe and secure.

🩰 aquarius venus

These folks are pretty one-of-a-kind when it comes to love. They're into quirky and unique people, so if you're not a bit "weird," they might not be into you romantically. They're also super straightforward—they'll tell you exactly how they feel. Sometimes, they're a bit hesitant about love, but deep down, they really want it. They're more logical than emotional, which helps them see the truth in relationships. They're attracted to folks who like them for who they are, inside and out. They enjoy being with friends more than lovers and might even fall for their pals sometimes. They really value their individuality and freedom to be themselves. They can be a bit attention-seeking, but once they find the right person, they're good. They rock platform boots and oversized shirts like nobody's business! They're huge daydreamers and love learning everything about their crushes. Starting as friends is cool with them, but it's not a must. They're the type to get super excited over a simple "Good morning" text from their crush. Just remember, their crushes come and go, so be your unique self to catch their eye. They're not into superficial stuff when it comes to attraction, especially if there are no issues in their chart.

🩰 pisces venus

These folks have this whole picture in their head of what their ideal partner should be like—how they act, everything. But if reality doesn't match their fantasy, they can lose interest real quick. They're big on romance, sensitive, stable, and love creativity. They want someone who can handle a relationship but also has a bit of chaos in them. When they love, they really go all in, even to the point of sacrificing themselves. But sometimes they end up giving their love to the wrong people. They're used to attracting the wrong types because they don't realize they deserve better. They're into spiritual stuff like crystals and incense, and when they're in love, they can act all childish. Logic goes out the window when they're in love—they miss red flags because they're too focused on their ideal traits. They're also super generous, even if they can't afford it. They're great listeners and really empathize with their loved ones' problems. They might crush on someone just because they're good-looking or fit their fantasy. But when reality hits, they can turn cold real fast. They're always on the lookout for that one perfect soulmate. Pisces Venus folks are the ultimate hopeless romantics. They're always dreaming about their perfect love story, which sometimes leads them to ignore warning signs. They're all about putting others before themselves and seeking that deep spiritual connection with their partner. Being sensitive souls, they can really understand what's going on beneath the surface in a relationship.

this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.

pics by @i04rei

[aeth-eris]

★ what are you known for? - midheaven ★

★ aries midheaven ★ to gain recognition, individuals with aries in the 10th house must put in hard work, taking initiative and being unafraid to stand alone when necessary. their success often comes from their willingness to take risks and be the first to act, whether in starting a business, leading a project, or entering competitive fields like sports, military, or entrepreneurship. they build their reputation by consistently showing their courage and determination, often taking on leadership roles early and demonstrating their ability to manage high-pressure situations. they may face challenges such as impatience or aggressive competition, so they must learn to temper their impulsive tendencies with strategic planning and patience, ensuring that their bold moves lead to sustainable success.

★ taurus midheaven ★ to become known in their field, taurus midheaven individuals rely on their perseverance and methodical approach, often building their careers slowly over time through consistent and steady work. they focus on developing expertise in practical fields like finance, real estate, agriculture, or luxury goods, where they can see tangible results from their efforts. they often gain recognition by proving their reliability and by being the person others can depend on for stability and sound judgment. these individuals often start from the ground up, gradually establishing a solid reputation through hands-on experience, meticulous planning, and a commitment to quality. however, they need to be open to occasional change and innovation, as their preference for stability may sometimes limit their opportunities for growth.

★ gemini midheaven ★ individuals with gemini in the 10th house become known for their versatility and communication skills, but this requires building a network and proving their adaptability across various roles. they often have to work their way up by seizing opportunities in fields like journalism, marketing, education, or technology, where they can showcase their intellectual agility. to establish themselves, they engage in continuous learning, often acquiring multiple skills and taking on diverse projects or positions to build a well-rounded portfolio. they gain recognition by demonstrating their ability to think on their feet and effectively connect with others, but they must work on maintaining consistency and focus, as their tendency to shift interests can hinder long-term achievements unless they find a way to integrate their varied passions.

★ cancer midheaven ★ those with cancer in the 10th house gain recognition by building deep, supportive relationships and demonstrating their commitment to caring for others, whether in healthcare, hospitality, social work, or family-run businesses. they put in years of dedicated service, often starting in entry-level or hands-on positions to build empathy and expertise from the ground up. they work to create a nurturing, emotionally supportive environment in their professional sphere, becoming trusted figures who are known for their compassion and ability to connect deeply with clients or colleagues. the challenge for them is to maintain professional boundaries and ensure that their work doesn’t become overly personal, as they risk burnout if they become too emotionally invested without managing their energy effectively.

★ leo midheaven ★ for leo in the 10th house individuals, gaining recognition involves harnessing their natural charisma and creativity, often through careers that put them in the public eye, such as entertainment, politics, or leadership. they typically start by showcasing their talents, whether through performances, public speaking, or creative projects, and invest time in building a strong, noticeable public presence. they must work hard to build their brand, often taking bold risks and embracing opportunities for visibility. over time, they earn their status by consistently delivering high-quality work and inspiring others with their confidence and passion. however, they must be careful to balance their need for recognition with genuine contribution, ensuring that their pursuit of the spotlight is accompanied by hard work and substance rather than just the desire for fame.

★ virgo midheaven ★ virgo in the 10th house individuals gain recognition through precision, efficiency, and a meticulous approach to their career. they often begin in roles that allow them to develop specialized skills, such as healthcare, research, or administration, where attention to detail and problem-solving are critical. they build their reputation by consistently delivering accurate, high-quality results and improving systems or processes within their workplace. their path to success involves continuous learning, self-improvement, and taking on increasingly complex tasks that demonstrate their reliability and expertise. however, to rise to higher levels, they must overcome their tendency toward perfectionism and learn to delegate and trust others, avoiding burnout and overwork by finding a balance between their standards and practical realities.

★ libra midheaven ★ individuals with libra on the midheaven become known for their diplomacy, social skills, and ability to create harmony in professional settings. they often work in fields like law, public relations, design, or diplomacy, where they can showcase their talents in negotiation, aesthetics, and partnership building. to rise to prominence, they must put in the effort to develop relationships and build networks, positioning themselves as valuable connectors and mediators. they work to refine their image and approach, cultivating a professional reputation based on grace and fairness. however, to gain greater recognition, they must overcome indecisiveness and learn to make firm decisions, as their tendency to seek balance and please others can sometimes prevent them from taking decisive action when needed.

★ scorpio midheaven ★ scorpio in the 10th house individuals gain recognition through their intensity, resilience, and ability to transform challenging situations into opportunities for growth. they often begin their careers in investigative fields, psychology, finance, or crisis management, where they can delve deep into complex issues and emerge as experts. they put in the effort by embracing difficult, high-stakes roles that test their strategic thinking and emotional strength, building a reputation as powerful and capable of handling adversity. to achieve success, they must master their own tendencies toward secrecy and control, learning to collaborate and trust others while maintaining their authority. their career growth often comes from their ability to face and transform professional crises, turning obstacles into stepping stones for advancement.

★ sagittarius midheaven ★ sagittarius midheaven individuals gain recognition through their openness, optimism, and thirst for exploration. they often pursue careers related to travel, education, international relations, or publishing, starting out by seeking experiences that broaden their perspectives and expand their skills. they put in the work by immersing themselves in diverse cultures, learning new languages, or gaining knowledge that they later share through teaching or writing. to build their reputation, they must demonstrate their ability to adapt and thrive in different environments, often positioning themselves as experts on global or philosophical topics. however, to achieve long-term success, they must learn to focus their energy and commit to a specific path, as their restless nature may lead to frequent changes or an inability to settle into a stable career.

★ capricorn midheaven ★ capricorn in the 10th house individuals achieve recognition through hard work, discipline, and a strategic approach to career advancement. they often begin their professional lives by taking on structured, entry-level roles in fields like business, law, or government, where they can gradually climb the corporate ladder. they dedicate themselves to long-term planning, setting clear goals, and steadily building their reputation as reliable and competent professionals. their success comes from their willingness to take on responsibility and prove their leadership abilities, often working long hours and taking calculated risks to achieve their objectives. however, they must learn to balance their ambition with personal life, as their intense focus on career achievement may lead to burnout or neglect of other important areas of life.

★ aquarius midheaven ★ individuals with aquarius in the 10th house gain recognition through innovation, independence, and a focus on social change. they often begin in unconventional fields such as technology, science, activism, or social reform, where they can use their forward-thinking ideas to make an impact. they work to build their reputation by pushing boundaries, questioning established norms, and embracing new technologies or methods. to become known, they must network with like-minded individuals and become active in communities or movements that align with their values. however, to achieve greater success, they need to learn how to balance their need for freedom with the demands of professional environments, ensuring that their innovative ideas are effectively communicated and accepted within their field.

★ pisces midheaven ★ pisces midheaven individuals gain recognition through their creativity, empathy, and spiritual insight. they often pursue careers in the arts, healing professions, social work, or spiritual practices, where they can channel their sensitivity and imagination into their work. they must work hard to develop their talents, often starting with personal projects, artistic expressions, or voluntary service that allows them to gain experience and build their portfolio. they become known for their compassionate approach and the emotional depth they bring to their roles, often earning a reputation as intuitive and inspiring professionals. however, they may struggle with the practical aspects of professional life, requiring them to establish structure and boundaries to ensure that their idealistic pursuits are sustainable and not draining their energy or resources.

[filurig]

CONSIDERABLE LINDWURM REVAMP ... id always intended for them to be like some extant member of a very early ophidian family but they just looked like grass snake but feathers and four limbs for some reason. So now we have been made more silly. more info i couldnt fit into the sheet...

the mentioned integrated lindwurms in troll and tomte societies have now existed in them for a while - and the ones that have a longer history, actually have a slight genetic difference over solitary lindwurms, which affects them in that they have more gregarious tendencies. troll/tomte integrated lindwurms often have very different cultures than independent lindwurms, however, even they also have a more "casual" attitude towards their young, often having them be cared for by troll "serpenthandlers"

culture is sort of carried over in independent lindwurm populations through occasional interaction and the "bachelor groups". bachelor groups are actually often led by an "elder", or an elder couple of lindwurms who no longer breed. interactions are often still sparse, but elder lindwurms tend to be more open to interaction and often provide guidance and experience to them when prompted.

their spiritual beliefs often base themselves on the idea of the "mother serpent", whose eyes are always watching - the sun and the moon. it is believed that she flies across the sky during the cycle, slowly "spinning", with each full revolution being a whole day/night cycle. the sun and moon are the right/left eyes. so basically whether its day or night depends on which side of her body is facing the earth. im kind of generalising their religion here because while there are local variations this is the "base" they usually build on. tomte/troll acclimated lindwurm cultures usually integrate some of their religious figures as well, but the Mother Serpent remains the highest deity for them even then. the journey of the mother serpent also informs many lindwurms' view of raising young. kind of still figuring this out lol but essentially they believe that any personal "guiding" influence on a growing young lindwurm is going to make them veer off the "proper" path and mess up their development, most likely resulting in the young lindwurms never "evolving" from their more basal, serpentine state. again, the young lindwurms look a lot more like true snakes, scales and all (i did doodle this but it looks sketchbook crap so might doodle it some other time properly and make it its own post lol). this is why while troll/tomte acclimated lindwurms don't care about "raising" their young, they also are very particular in how trolls/tomtar raise them for them - in that they want no personal intervention and socialisation, basically just let them be little noodles in some enclosure. they do think its important for their young to encounter dangers and also take down live prey, so those are also requirements. like setting off a fox in their enclosures and only feeding live prey that the baby gets to hunt. if the baby gets hurt then that is what the forces that led the Mother Serpent to evolve wills (or somethang)

courtship among lindwurms often involve funny displays from the males with their eyes and moving their head around to show off their crest - not 100% sure how they go about it but it def looks silley as hale!!

while they dgaf about the babies generally, they are fiercely protective of their eggs.

very large as adults (basically as "tall" as an average human when "standing" like the gray one in the picture) but start out very, very small, about as big as a grass snake.

high mortality rate when young, they have relatively large clutches because of it. when the eggs hatch the couple just kinda fricks off a bit waiting for the young to leave

[moonchild033]

Saturn Aspects and it's Related Karma-Part 1 🩷

(These observations are for sidereal, whole sign system based charts and all of these are subject to change with other factors in the chart, don't conclude anything from a single placement, take it lightly!🩵)

Find Part 2 here!❤️‍🔥

Kindly go through the intro post before reading this, you can find it here! ✨

Saturn in 1H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on 3H, you could've been less courageous or lacked motivation to do any work in past life, which could've resulted in others around you taking care of you. In case of good karma accumulation in the same aspect, you could've been very courageous and helpful to others. 🧡🧡

Future Karma - Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 10H, as you lacked motivation in past life and didn't contribute to provide for those around you or those who depended on you, you're destined to work hard and be a provider in this lifetime. Good pastlife karma can give you a good career life and public image.💚💚

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - As Saturn's 7th aspect falls on 7H, be mindful not to hurt or disrespect your partner, taking care of your spouse well can prove to increase luck.🩷🩷

Saturn in 2H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on the 4H, you could've been very attached to family in past life and had all comforts, could be maternal or generational wealth but could've been hesitant to help with your money or share your comforts with others in need (like friends or other well known ppl) apart from ur little family. ❤️❤️

Future Karma- Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 11H, due to being hesitant to help your circle in past life with your money, you could face financial issues in this lifetime during early stages of career and when you gradually earn more, you may be required to help your friends and those in your circle financially.🩵🩵

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - Saturn's 7th aspect falls on 8H, keep in mind not to indulge in any affairs that could put your long term relationship or marriage in troubled waters and to not get jealous of other ppl's growth or lifestyle. Also, be careful about gambling and sharemarket kinda stuff wherever unexpected gains/losses are involved. 💜💜

Saturn in 3H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on 5H, your pastlife could've revolved around children. 5H is purva punya sthana, saturn placement here or aspects can mean it is very karmic, either positive or negative, you just have to do a lot of work in this lifetime related to the theme. In case of bad karma, you could've been involved in many leisurely past times and ignored children. If it's good karma, you could've restrained yourself from enjoying life like happy experiences and love affairs and ended up dedicating your life for taking care of children alone.🧡🧡

Future Karma- Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 12H, if bad karma, you could face many losses in life, failures in love affairs and could live far away from your loved ones without the warmth of family and children which can cause you to indulge towards spirituality. If it's good karma, you could enjoy the pleasure of love affairs, especially bed pleasures , can enjoy the foreign settlement and spend a lot there leisurely.💚💚

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - Saturn's 7th aspect falls on 9H, Be mindful not to disrespect Guru, like University Professors too, whoever teaches you higher education or provides you with wisdom and not to mock your religious practices.❤️❤️

Saturn in 4H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on 6H, in case of good karma, you could've worked so hard in past life, might be physical hardwork or something that toiled you so much but handled daily work in a good manner, winning over enemies. In case of bad karma, you could've had conflicts with many people.💜💜

Future Karma- Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 1H, for good karma, this can work as a boon, think of it like the present lifetime is a gift for all the difficulties you went through in the past, can be a chance to work and focus on yourself. For bad karma, this can feel unlucky, as lagna is the person, it can feel like you don't feel confident in your own skin or whatever you do might face hurdles.🩷🩷

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - Saturn's 7th aspect falls on 10H, Take care not to disrespect those in authority, your father and don't do anything that can damage your reputation in the eyes of society. 🩵🩵

Saturn in 5H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on 7H, if good karma, you could've taken proper care of your spouse and treated them like your whole world and was honest in business partnerships. If there is bad karma, you could've mistreated your partner and did injustice to partnerships.💚💚

Future Karma- Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 2H, 2H is also family life and primary source of income, hence in case of good karma accumulation, you can be blessed with a beautiful family and a stable income, if it's opposite karma, your family life can be dissatisfactory and struggle with financial issues.❤️❤️

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - Saturn's 7th aspect falls on 11H, remember not to exploit genuine friendships/connections/elder sibling and not to be greedy with profits, lyk learn to be contented.💜💜

Saturn in 6H ❤️

Past Life Karma- Saturn's 3rd aspect falls on 8H, you could've indulged in affairs or treacherous deeds, even wrong use of occult like black magic which could've hurt ppl's lives in case of bad karma. In case of good karma, could've been involved in spiritual teachings or research which helped other people.🩷🩷

Future Karma- Saturn's 10th aspect falls on 3H, if good karma is acquired, you can have the willpower to withstand anything and face all life situations boldly, you can even get many chances to enjoy an adventurous life. If there is bad karma, you might feel like you're pushing yourself so hard everyday to work, feel demotivated or depressed easily.🧡🧡

What you should be careful about in this lifetime - Keep in mind not to indulge in any type of addictions or leisurely spending. Don't ignore your mental health.🩵🩵

(I just wanted to write something today and made the part 1 somehow 🥹✨)

Let's Learn and Grow Together! 🩷

With Love-Yashi ❤️‍🔥

Masterlist 💖

[canine-economy]

Daisuke’s Death and the Invisible Abuse of “Privileged” Children

tw: extensive discussions of child emotional abuse

Another mouthwashing text analysis before I post any polished art? Shocker. But I really really appreciate the reception on my Swansea post, especially as a new account! This Daisuke-centric analysis is gonna be a quick one (< this was a lie. long read ahead!) but he is a character who resonates deeply personally with me as a victim of childhood abuse that resembled some of his experiences. I do plan on doing a larger analysis of his character, but the abridged version necessary for this piece goes as follows:

Daisuke’s treatment in the narrative—both his implied home life and Jimmy’s taking advantage of him to go into the vent—is another one of this game’s excellent portrayals of normalized (and thus invisibilized) abuse. Children are often cited as one of the most vulnerable classes of people, if not the most vulnerable (I acknowledge that Daisuke is not a child, but Mouthwashing implies that this narrative of his inadequacy has persisted throughout his upbringing and, to this day, he is dictated tasks and lacks independence, treated like a dependent. His youth is also an undisputed feature of his character and, most importantly, the cast treats him like a kid). Children’s dependency on adults and our willingness as a society to accept that the adults in their lives provide the most objective perspective on these young people renders them particularly prone to abuse easily swept under the rug or “justified” by wardens who possess the power to dictate the narrative. Jimmy’s engagement with Daisuke is an extension of the latter’s vulnerability. The co-pilot’s assertion that “he’ll be fine (…) mommy and daddy have him covered” at the birthday party represents a deference to Daisuke’s parents as adequate caretakers who will ensure his longevity and comfort on the basis of their wealth. And we know that Daisuke’s parents think the same—the Q&As reveal that they believe they are doing the best to secure their son a good future. However, the same Q&As indicate that they don’t actually engage with or understand Daisuke’s interests and that their approach to parenting him is entirely understood through their personal beliefs, not those of their son. And Daisuke clearly carries that quite close to his heart. He seems to struggle with identity and acceptance, seeking validation in the form of praise. Daisuke is defined through what he can do for others and not what he independently brings to the table, because that has never mattered where he grew up. The consequences of his parents’ failure to meet his emotional needs ultimately conditioned Daisuke to be perfectly available to be taken advantage of in a corporate setting defined by capitalist attitudes and hierarchies.

While it’s not concrete to say that Daisuke grew up in an emotionally abusive household, it is most important that we cannot dismiss the possibility and that his behavior as the outcome of some obvious degree of neglect is well-aligned with this theory. Moreover, the young man who comes out of that household is easily targeted by Jimmy’s abusive tendencies as a direct result of what he internalizes growing up. Daisuke is apparently financially well-off (contextually we can’t be sure if Daisuke’s family is upper class, middle class, or somewhere in between), and with that comes privilege. Even the way he packs—multiple personalized outfits, entertainment devices, etc—reveal that he’s used to certain comforts and hasn’t yet acclimated to the harsh expectations of companies like the Pony Express. But, especially where young people are concerned, it is all too easy to allow this privilege to act as a curtain between abuse and the outside world. We can acknowledge the privilege that he undoubtedly enjoys and also recognize that it benefits his parents much more than it benefits him as a young person.

Emotional abuse is complex and extremely damaging and Daisuke *does* show symptoms of at least being constantly verbally accosted and emotionally neglected by his parents to the point of permanently warping his sense of self. It also generated his overreliance on authority figures to tell him how to keep himself safe in their world. His mother apparently insulted him to his face (“such a slacker, she said”, and being reprimanded for being too talkative [from the Daisuke teaser]), and a lot of his negative self talk (“total screw-up”, “fuck up”, etc) is reminiscent of how people define themselves by parroting what they are called after internalizing consistent externally-imposed definitions of their identity. While these are not surefire indicators of abuse and I am not willing to diagnose a situation as abusive purely predicated on these factors, the behaviors Daisuke exhibits as a result share many commonalities with those of victims of childhood abuse. In fact, just about every time Daisuke speaks about himself in Mouthwashing, he mentions his failures and his work. It’s not lost on me that the teaser for the whole character is him pondering his mother and how she might not recognize him if he isn’t noisy and obnoxious. He personally puts a lot of stock in their assessment of him as lazy and annoying, but nevertheless tries to accomplish learning through the internship. Furthermore, Daisuke takes on a lot of his mother’s pain, hoping she doesn’t blame herself for the negative things that happen to him (even though in the same scene he reveals that she’s the reason he’s on the stranded Tulpar at all), indicating that he has taken responsibility for the feelings of people in his life even when those people are not his to care for and even bear responsibility for his pain.

Now in young adulthood, Daisuke rarely seems to have any sense of self beyond his parents and his work aside from one-off quips about baseball and babes. It suggests that he has always had to prioritize his parents’ desires growing up to avoid being treated unfairly and even cruelly, stunting his self-discovery. In abusive situations, your understanding of safety and your pursuit thereof are radically impacted and we see this manifest in Daisuke’s continuing willingness to accept those in command as the pinnacle of safety over what one might consider logical, personal acts of self-preservation. He equates safety with obedience, and I contend that that equivalence suggests a lot about how his parents reprimanded deviance from their plans. And not to be that guy, but it is kind of outright cruel to dump your utterly inexperienced teenager-to-early-20-something on a 1 year, no contact, unsafe space voyage in a failing industry knowing that he doesn’t have the necessary skillset yet. That’s what his parents do when they aren’t satisfied with his progress, and it’s intense and disproportionate and alarming! Especially for the dependent! They toss him into the deep end of the corporate machine and insist he learns to swim in such an oppressive, stifling atmosphere. It’s no surprise that he drowns, especially when he himself can’t recognize this as an unrealistic expectation and tackles it with everything he’s got because his parents are theoretically always right about what he needs. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that normalized emotional abuse from the home and how it maps onto a victim’s adult life is a topic Mouthwashing would endeavor to touch on, because visibilizing invisible abuses of power in heteropatriarchal capitalist schemes is arguably the central undertaking of the game.

I don’t think Daisuke has evil parents or anything, rather that what we accept as “good parenting” and “good mentorship” is often negligent with regard to emotional needs and can easily become a source of heavy trauma for the children and mentees if that emotional aspect is stretched too thin in the pursuit of success. Not all abuse is intentional, and the dev Q&As imply that Daisuke’s parents thought they were sincerely investing in his future. They cared, just not in the best way for his wellbeing. Because capitalism emphasizes the individualistic pursuit of success above all else, it’s no wonder that a parent would think that the best thing they can give their kid is an avenue to prosper financially. But in doing so, Daisuke’s parents deny him the opportunity to define himself, to experience agency, and to build up confidence. Effectively, they create a young man so vulnerable to abuse by higher-ups (a manifestation of abuse that is often intentional at the systemic level) that he decides to climb into that vent at Jimmy’s discretion under the pretense that he will make somebody proud. Because that’s how Daisuke has been raised to understand himself and his place—the presumed screw-up boy as a default, making you proud by doing the right thing, who has learned to pursue that achievement to avoid the condescension and disproportionate backlash (e.g. the internship itself) that comes with failure. Everything circles back to his parents’ expectations that he makes for a good worker. When the cocktail knocks Swansea out, Daisuke makes an offhand comment about getting a bad reference—even in the most dire of circumstances, he can’t stop thinking about their capitalistic expectations for his “good” future.

I find that Daisuke really is such a good subtle portrayal of how parents with resources can get away with emotionally stunting their children because we perceive their ability to put a roof over their heads, food on their plate, etc as adequate parenting and even a privilege for the child when it should be the bare minimum. Jimmy certainly buys into it, and even some of the fandom parrots that, really and truly believing Daisuke is some good-for-nothing kid who doesn’t try hard when all we see is him working, including climbing into the vents to try and help despite not being assigned the work (foam scene, not his death). I find this reception shows how inclined we are to accept those narratives of the privileged child’s inadequacy before we address the parent for not fulfilling a child’s emotional needs, which are just as important if not more than the material.

To wrap this up with a quick discussion of the symbolism of his death in the context of the emotional abuse of children (which is the reason I made this whole post but I can’t talk about this guy without going off): Daisuke getting so badly injured trying to do what’s right is a very physical manifestation of the suffering he was already going through. It is the pain of constantly people-pleasing and of holding it all in when he’s lashed out at. He gets injured at all in the pursuit of appeasing Jimmy and (theoretically) Swansea, both of whom he blindly trusts despite how they treat him because he has always been expected to just adhere to the adults with authority in his life. Being talked down to by them is not new and has never been a reason to question their judgement. Daisuke sees this as a product of his own inadequacy as implied by other people, and not of external cruelty. He was raised not to question the system for fear of repercussions.

Jimmy is perfectly situated to coerce him into a dangerous situation because Daisuke has never been taught to say no. The safest option for a scared child is to trust their mentors, and an adult Daisuke does just that. Even Swansea’s teachings of safety are dismantled by Jimmy’s tactical use of captainhood to break the camel’s back. Authority. Daisuke must always listen to authority. Jimmy knows the vent isn’t safe. Swansea tells him directly and he observes the foam incident (if from a distance). For as much as he acts like he cares about taking responsibility for Daisuke’s safety, his individualistic pursuit of “fixing” things manifests in Jimmy again taking advantage of a vulnerable person on the ship. Jimmy doesn’t reconcile Daisuke’s eagerness to help with lessons on safety like Swansea does, but rather uses it only when it benefits him. Daisuke is taught by his upbringing to accept this kind of treatment—for safety, defer to the leader in the room even if it hurts and you don’t want to do it (just like he didn’t want to be on the Tulpar in the first place).

Then, once the intern is out of the vent and mortally wounded, Jimmy applies the mouthwash (a product to be sold, hauled in the interest of the corporation) to “help” sanitize the wounds. But the sugar content negates medical utility and only worsens the pain. We can interpret this as the application of material privilege, “sweetness”, that wasn’t actually any help at all to solve the deep wounds left by emotional pains. Mouthwash rids you of the bad taste but doesn’t kill all the underlying germs. One could argue further that in this scene, the mouthwash is specifically representative of the Pony Express internship: a rare stepping stone in the corporate hustle gained through privilege and presented as a boon. Like the mouthwash, the internship is imposed on Daisuke to try and “help” him succeed and be better, but it only elevates the pain by irritating the wounds and ends in his agonizing demise. However, this fine-tuned comparison isn’t necessary to my point. I find the broad implications of the mouthwash as an antiseptic immensely representative of parents and caretakers who don’t seem abusive to the outside world but who are actually subversively hurting their children and ultimately conditioning them to be victimized by capitalist attitudes. Our deference to material comforts and corporate opportunities as indicators of wellness renders us blind to where caretakers fail to address the emotional needs of young people. At the end of the day, Daisuke is still killed by the values his parents have instilled in him. It’s always the “captain’s” (literal or figurative) orders that seal the deal and cut off any of his autonomous doubt or dictation (for example, his desire to listen to Swansea and not go in the vent). His parents’ symbolic and saccharine gestures mean very little in the scheme of creating a person who can survive the pressures of the “real world” when malicious actors (JIMMY.) and the capitalist enterprise as a whole bear down on the cracks of an emotionally taxing youth.

A/N: Maybe I’m thinking about all of this too hard, but the beauty of Mouthwashing is that I’m never quite sure that’s the case as this game feels so deliberate. Anyway, as somebody who has clinically diagnosed PTSD stemming from childhood, this has always been a really important analysis to posit and I finally found the time to put it into words. I feel like Daisuke as a symbol is often overlooked by the fandom. He’s enjoyed, yes, but not really broken down like the others are. That diminishing of his importance and his feelings about the situation also feels like a symptom of his age. But that’s neither here nor there—like I said, I believe I could do a much more in-depth analysis of Daisuke as a victim of subtle abuse but this will have to do for now. A lot of my major points have been made, anyway! Perhaps video format would be best for something longer-form. 🌺

[cherryredstars]

Ok so i have this fic idea where reader and mig are from different universes and reader is a scientist and one time mig and her get drunk and start talking about the multiverse and suddenly they are on the topic of what would happen if people from different universes had a baby together. (You see where i am going with this...) they end up drunkenly fucking and saying it's for "research" because they can't admit to themselves that they are in love. If this request is too complicated feel free to ignore. Thank you in advance cherry!! I hope u have a marvelous new year!! 💕

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Penetrative Sex, Mentions of Oral Sex, Mentions of Animal Testing (for science), Breeding Kink

A/N: Thank you, love! I hope you're well!!!

You know there is a process.

And you know this isn't it.

There are supposed to be hypotheses and written out procedures. Dependent and independent variables, a control group. Fucking hell, you should be experimenting on fucking mice. You should be limiting the margins of error, should be going with the most direct, straightforward pursuit for results.

And yet...

You don't stop Miguel when he pushes you back onto the couch. You don't pause or even really think when he's pushing your pants down your legs, placing kisses along the skin as he goes. You lift your hips to aid him when his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, shivering when his warm breath fans over your exposed sex. If this experiment was in any sense proper, you would get straight into it. Cut out all the unneeded steps. But you can't help but pull his head closer to your aching core, craving the way his warm tongue laps at you. If you weren't already drunk, you would be drunk on this feeling alone.

But god, nothing has even been more satisfying than doing the work. You know the data would be void in a real experiment. The trials bleeding into each other hardly make for adequate data, but the way you beg him for more is involuntary. It feels too good, to have him desperately thrusting into you. It makes your mind numb, and everything you know about your life's passion is erased. The only thing that fills your head is the words Miguel grunts into you ears, promises of fucking a baby into you. Vows to make you bloated with load after load of his cum. That all it'll take is one of his orgasms to make it happen.

You guess that is a hypothesis in itself: Miguel O'Hara can get you pregnant with just one orgasm.

Too bad he's too desperate to find out if that hypothesis is correct. Because he doesn't stop at one. No, he keeps going. One after the other with no breaks in-between. But you guess that's to be expected, he is a man of science himself. A passionate one at that.

He's almost crazed in the way he overstimulates himself. Sweat beading in his hairline as he grunts down at you, watching the way he creamy cock slides in and out of your abused pussy. You've lost count of how many times you've come alone, but you know based on the way your body shivers and jolts that it's far more than you've ever had before. It's almost painful now, the way your next orgasm rips through you and shatters your soul again. You let out strangled breaths as you fight through the aftershocks and the continued pleasure of Miguel's cock slamming against your cervix. You swear you black out before he finally stops, your eyes and mind groggy as he pulls your hips flush against his as he spills into you.

You can feel him trying to push deeper into you as he pants ruggedly, his cock twitching against your walls until he's milked dry. Even when he's done filling you, he stays connected. He collapses onto you, breathing in the linger smell of sweat and sex on your skin.

"Got to make sure it takes."

Well, does the process really matter if you get the desired result anyway?

Part 2 Part 3

[ddarker-dreams]

lock's otome game recs

i received some asks indicating an interest in a compilation of my favorite otome games, so i decided to go for it!! i've played about fourteen otome games, but of those fourteen, only these six left a lasting impression on me. there are still some that i intend to check out, so the rankings may update in the future. i'll give a very general overview of each game and how i'd score the categories that i find the most important in an otome game — the heroine, story, art, enjoyability, along with the characters i liked the most.

number 6 - piofiore fated memories.

heroine: 6/10 story: 6.5/10 characters: 7/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 8/10 favorite characters: dante (ishikawa kaito), nicola (kimura ryouhei) and yang (okamoto nobuhiko)

this game centers around the heroine, with the default name liliana adornato, who finds herself entangled in the politics of the region's three most prominent crime organizations. the game has an italian backdrop and iirc, takes place in the 1930s.

the overarching narrative, while it has its fair share of intrigue, isn't the game's strongest point. it's the interactions with the characters themselves that made the game feel worthwhile. each love interest has more to them than what meets the eye, so it's satisfying to watch the relationship between them and the heroine develop.

the heroine takes a passive role throughout much of the game, events sorta just happen to her. still, she has a kind disposition that makes her likable and doesn't make stupid decisions that has you wanting to fling your console across the room. her characterization changes slightly depending on the route. for instance, without getting into spoilers, she's more assertive throughout yang's route. the resulting dynamic made yang's route the most memorable, even if he's my third favorite character from the bunch.

what feels unique to this game is the effort put into the bad endings. in most visual novels, bad endings can feel like gimmicks. you make one or two wrong decisions and you're rewarded with a few paragraphs. the downward spiral of the characters in the bad endings are decently fleshed out and you can see how they arrived at this 'worst' version of themselves. they're suitably dark and it shouldn't come as a surprise that i enjoyed them because of that 😭

then there's the art. it's stunning, the details in each CG are mindboggling. the heroine gets to wear a variety of pretty outfits which is something i like to see. even in the story's weaker moments, a stunning CG would pop up that had me forgiving everything. i still glance through the gallery to this day.

number five - cupid parasite.

heroine: 9.5/10 story: 7/10 characters: 7/10 art: 9/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: ryuki keisaiin (junya enoki) & gill lovecraft (kimura ryouhei)

iconic. showstopping. a little bit camp.

cupid parasite stars one of my favorite heroines, lynette. she works as a bridal advisor whose ambition is to ensure everyone finds their soulmate. in actuality, she's the goddess cupid, who left her post in celestia to better understand humanity and create lasting pairs. she's a delight to play as.

this game's presentation and overall aesthetic is the most distinct from any otome game i've played. aside from the presentation, the story itself is unlike any of the others on this list. when it comes to romance, i typically prefer them to be dark and mature. this game opts for a more lighthearted approach. it vacillates between being a romcom and dipping into the absurdist genre. there were times i was literally left speechless (glances at gill's route)... but it makes for an entertaining experience. the game's plenty funny as well.

personally, i enjoyed the more grounded moments when the mythological elements remained in the background. because of this, the true ending doesn't do it for me as much as they do in other games. as with anything, this is a personal preference though. i liked all of the routes and found the game handles the development of each love interest well. we're introduced to these men at their most pathetic and get to help them become a little more well-adjusted. lowering the cringe meter, if you will. it makes their growth all the most satisfying as the narrative progresses.

number four - even if tempest.

heroine: 9/10 story: 8.5/10 characters: 8/10 art: 6/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: the heroine herself, tyril i lister (noriaki sugiyama), crius castlerock (makoto furukawa) and lucien neuschburn (kaito ishikawa)

right from the get-go, this game's premise had me hooked. it features the heroine, anastasia (<3!), who leads an incredibly tragic life. she's bestowed the ability to reverse time following each of her deaths and uses this to unravel a mess of mysteries the world's setting is tangled in.

this game is absolutely anastasia's story. without spoiling anything, i loved the approach they took with the time rewinding ability. how it's incorporated is unique to an otome game, which they take full advantage of to amplify the tragic romances. on that note, the romance itself occasionally takes a backseat to the narrative as a whole. personally, i didn't mind this in the moment, since i found the story so interesting. in retrospect, i do wish that we got more moments between the heroine and each love interest, especially in the true ending.

there are more gameplay elements here as well. you have to conduct investigations, gather evidence, and apply what you've learned during these trial segments. when i first read about this, i thought it'd be a gimmick, but i liked playing through them. it incentivizes you to pay extra close attention to the world.

while i liked the narrative as a whole, i do wish we got more worldbuilding. there are hints of political subterfuge and religious oligarchy that, while touched upon, could've been leaned into more to give the setting a distinct feeling.

number three - olympia soiree

heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 8/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: akaza (yoshitsugu matsuoka), himuka (shun horie), and yosuga (yuma uchida)

in olympia soirée, the eponymous heroine, olympia, lives in a society divided into castes based on colors. she is the last surviving member of a clan that can perform rituals to keep the sun aglow. this game is a lengthier title, i believe i clocked in around 25 ish hours (i don't use auto-play so that sheds some time). the story benefits from this, as olympia has rich worldbuilding and lore that's revealed throughout the route's progression.

we get to see the consequences of this caste system and olympia's growth as she becomes determined to realize a better future for the islands. this makes the heroine someone that you want to root for. personally, i'm a sucker for stories that center around a sheltered individual being forced to face the harsh realities of the world and maturing in their own way. this, paired with the struggles specific to this setting, make for a gripping backdrop for the character's routes. all the love interests have problems of their own that they need to address.

this is certainly a mature title, there's plenty of steamy scenes featuring gorgeous artwork. seriously... all the pretty CGs are absolute eye candy. i enjoyed the balance between the main narrative and the development of the romantic relationships, i don't remember ever feeling bored.

ironically enough, i think this is the darkest game from the bunch listed here, surpassing the game with actual horror elements. there's a whole litany of trigger warnings to be mindful of when going through the game's bad ends. they are, as the term suggests, Bad. not light or humorous in the slightest. the poor heroine goes through it. please be mindful of these more touchy subjects.

number two - 9 r.i.p

heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 9/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: minami (nobuhiko okamoto), hibiki (shunichi toki), kureha (toshiki masuda), and koyo (ryota suzuki)

i was looking forward to the english localization of this game before it was even announced ... i'd been wanting an otome game with this vibe for ages. and it didn't disappoint! there are four different overarching story sections, with two characters each having their routes fall under them. this makes it difficult to give a summary since each route has a vastly different feel. some routes lean heavy into supernatural horror (such as hibiki and kureha), whereas others are just... supernatural (like with yukimaro and koharu).

the basic premise is that the main character, misa, is a high school girl burdened with her career survey. she's uncertain what she wants for the future and is being pressured by his mother to pursue a career in medicine. in one way or another, depending on the story section, she comes into contact with the afterlife and those who inhabit it.

i loved this game, i couldn't put it down. the routes that leaned heavy into horror were my favorites, which shouldn't be a surprise lol. i do feel some love interests were given preferential treatment of others, i wanted more from sena's storyline in particular, since he's voiced by one of my favorite VAs (tetsuya kakihara, the voice of scaramouche) 😭... apparently this game is receiving a fandisc, so hopefully they'll remedy that in the future.

minami stole the show for me. from what i've gauged online, he's a divisive character, you either find him grating or love him (like i do). i'm biased but i do think he has the most interesting and well-written story out of the love interests, i've played through it three times already. i just adored the dynamic between him and the heroine. he's petulant, selfish, and a bit immature, yet he goes to extremes for her as he realizes his unhinged feelings.

hibiki is a close second. the most yandere-coded of the bunch, he's soft-spoken and polite, but that exterior hides a creepy personality. like all of the characters in this game, there's a tragic element to him. i was worried about the role the heroine would play in helping him 'overcome' this, but i think they handled it well. it doesn't feel like the heroine's fixing him so much as she's helping him have a different perspective on certain events.

yeah i'm not normal about this game, i cannot recommend it enough. it would've taken the top slot if some of the routes were a bit more polished. i didn't care for yukimaro's at all, for example. routes like minami's, hibiki's, and koyo's more than make up for it though.

number one - collar x malice

heroine: 10/10 story: 10/10 characters: 10/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: takeru sasazuka (daisuke namikawa), kei okazaki (yuki kaji), and aiji yanagi (masakazu morita)

the holy grail. the otome games that died for our sins. this isn't just a good otome game, it's an excellent story, with a very human cast, commentary on issues like the nature of crime, and you're left wanting to solve the various mysterious as much as the heroine does. speaking of the heroine, miss hoshino ichika is my all-time favorite heroine. she's clever, resolute, compassionate, and you can't help but fall in love with her a little yourself 😭😭

i'm not sure if this makes sense, but the world feels very... full? you get this sense that ichika exists outside just interacting with the love interests. she has her career, friends, and her younger brother that act as more than passing NPCs. the writers ensured all the characters with portraits are given some level of depth. i left caring about more characters than the heroine and love interests.

each route is dedicated to working through a certain case, which keeps the story intriguing as you progress. finally, all of the little hints that have been littered throughout coalesce into the 'true' route, where questions you've had since the first chapter are given satisfactory conclusions. at the same time, you're left wondering about a few things, such as the complete philosophy of the main antagonist.

ichika's relationship with each of the love interests develops alongside the case they're investigating, which almost always have connections or parallels to the LI's past. this helped ground them in reality and flesh them out into dynamic characters. you come to care deeply about them alongside ichika. the romance feels earned and doesn't come on too fast, which some otome games suffer from.

if you like otome games and haven't played collar x malice yet, i fully recommend it!!!!!!!! it's the strongest title from what i've played so far.