#well because that's where my playthrough happened to stall for other reasons but when i finally picked it back up i tried doing electrode

[doodlejoltik]

why is the electrode battle so hard for no reason btw

[rei voice] well he was right

[hooves-of-hyrule]

Hey, Zelda - ...Another You?

“Hey, Zelda” is a documentation of my personal Tears of the Kingdom playthrough, told through the eyes of Link in a series of monologues.

In the brief intermission between Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, Link and Zelda spent a lot of time together - and by that I mean, they lived together. They shared a house, shared meals, even shared a bed (though if you asked them, they would’ve told you it was for comfort and safety, and yes, they’d really believe what they were saying). Link, however, also shared stories. Old habits die hard, and after Zelda disappears, he talks as if she's there listening to him just to keep some semblance of normalcy in his life.

Note that these are incredibly self-indulgent and I fully expect no one but myself to actually care about any of these lmao.

~~~~~~~~

Hey, Zelda? You’d come and find me as soon as you were able, wouldn’t you? I mean, I would do the same for you, you know. If I’m being honest, that was my reason for checking Lookout Landing first, then coming here to the house, and then going to all the skyview towers in the first place. If you were going to be anywhere, I would’ve thought it would be there, or here, or if I got up high enough in each region maybe I’d catch a glimpse of you. Even going back to Thundra Plateau to check on the herd, I thought maybe you’d go there to find me. But you weren’t in any of those places, and you aren’t here, so wherever you are, I have to believe you’re gone because you can’t come back for some reason, and not just that you’re… running away. If you’re out there and you are running away from everything that’s happening, I can’t blame you. It’s just that… maybe it’s selfish, but I’d hope that you’d ask me if I wanted to run away with you too. Because I do. Not that I’d tell anyone else that, but if I was given the choice, I wouldn’t be here saving the world. …You’re not actually here, so I can say this, but… I lost everything again. Not just the sword, you already know that’s gone. But my strength, my stamina, my capacity to handle just about anything… I’m back to where I started seven years ago. Back to being knocked out by a single pebble thrown by a blue bokoblin. I don’t think I can do it again. I don’t think I can go through all of the training and literally back breaking work just to be the hero I’m supposed to be again. I’m still so tired from the Calamity, Zelda. You kept telling me that the soul of the hero I once was still lives inside me but… does it? And if it does, then why am I back to being no stronger than a common Hylian? Is this why no one remembers me? Even the people from the village act like they’ve never seen me before… Maybe I never will be the hero of Hyrule again.

…Sorry, that was a lot. I found the gold horse. She was at the snowfield stable, exactly where the other stable owner said she would be. Or at least, she was at the stable. She wasn’t when I got there. One of the stablehands had grown very fond of her and was apparently personally looking over her care, so I imagine she was being taken care of well, but apparently she also kept escaping her stall and trying to run away. On the topic of being forgettable, I swear people must already be forgetting what you look like. She said that apparently she saw someone who looked like you trying to take the horse, and that the mare freaked out and bolted away as fast as she could. That couldn’t have been you, then. Between the two of us I know you were always her favorite, so I’d think she’d be running toward you rather than so far away from you. Which means it couldn’t have been you. And that means you must still be out there looking for a way to get back, and that means you couldn’t be out there looking for me yet, which means that you’re not not looking for me, which means my entire rant was for nothing. …great. Again, one of the few times I’m glad that you’re not actually here. Anyways, I got a hold of the mare for you. The stablehand seemed shocked that she seemed so fond of me. I wasn’t about to argue - it’s not like we frequent this stable anyways so I guess I can forgive her for not knowing that I was the one helping you train the horse. She’s officially registered with me now, though. I named her after your favorite historical figure - Tetra. I hope you like that name. 

Oh, and remember that tack set I had that we both hated? …backing up for a moment - So the stable took away all my tack sets. Apparently now people are only allowed to have special tack for their horses if they have a certain amount of pony points. Again, not going to argue with them, but come on. Those tack sets were already mine. Why would they take them away just because I was gone for maybe a month and then force me into this “pony point” system just so I can get it all back?! Apparently they got rid of the ancient set I had because “the teleportation system was just too dangerous for horses.” Which is so incredibly ridiculous. If anything the teleportation system was a lifesaver in case they got stuck somewhere. …but oh well. Thankfully I got all the rest of my tack back because it’s harder to keep me away from all the stables in Hyrule than it is to find me at one of them at any given time. Anyways, back to the tack we hated. The “extravagant” tack? Turns out Tetra looks even better in that saddle than the royal gear you originally had her in. You’ll have to see when you get back but I think you’ll really like it too.

~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Yay the tiniest bit of "angst." We'll call that angst I guess.

I wasn't sure what to name the golden horse, but when I was thinking of what Zelda would name a horse, I thought she'd probably name it something from Hyrule's history. I imagine she must be very fond of stories about Tetra, even though Tetra is technically just another version of her. And also for some reason the name just kinda... fit.

For real though I have a hatred of the extravagant set but for some reason the saddle looks so nice on her.

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Unbreakable Speckled Band (Part 1)

Last Time: With a little help from Susato, the lady in pink, we discovered that Miss Brett poisoned Dr Wilson with Curare, a fast acting poison that’s only effective when introduced into the blood stream. In a last ditch attempt to avoid justice, Miss Brett destroyed the evidence right in front of the court, but fortunately my man Hosonaga was on hand with new evidence he’d taken from the crime scene, meaning that all we had to do was catch the thief of a rare golden coin, and tie Miss Brett up with her own words! At last I (Ryunosuke) was acquitted!

...only to find out in the lobby that Miss Brett has managed to privilege her way out of any consequences and was gone like smoke in the wind. (Also Kazuma used his sword in a way I found very hot, and I think I’ve accidentally doomed him to death or moral corruption.)

I’m 90% sure The Speckled Band is a Sherlock Holmes case, and I’m 49% sure it’s one of the ones I’ve read. I’m guessing this is where we’ll meet The Great Himbo Detective Herlock Sholmes then!

Well I guess that answers that then.

(And yes, I have read this one)

HERLOCK!

And he’s voiced by Professor Layton maybe???

Ooh, this seems like a Study in Scarlet, are we doing a Study in Scarlet guys?

Herlock has a magic gun!?!

Also I’m not digging this Japanese scripture and talk of it being penned by ‘the victim himself’. Kazuma what did I tell you about leaving my sight?

Wait... I could have sworn I just saw Hosonaga dressed as a sailor...

Oh balls, am I about to be accused of murder again?

Honestly I can’t take you anywhere Ryunosuke

Well Ryunosuke, you remember how you went to a lovely restaurant and got arrested for a murder you didn’t commit?

Well, it’s just like that but substitute restaurant for ship.

Also I’m not liking how little I’ve seen of Kazuma...

Ryunosuke we really need to have a talk about you just saying what people want to hear.

ITS FUCKING KAZUMA ISN’T IT?!

:(

Nononononononono

I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming, Ace Attorney law dictated it was coming as soon as it set Kazuma up as both my mentor and best friend.

But even so, I thought they were just empty threats! I didn’t think they’d actually follow through! Or that we might at least enjoy Herlock Sholmes ad his magic gun together first.

I realise I’m stalling here, but maybe if I just don’t click I’ll not have to see his body.

Sailor Man, I understand that you’re very upset, we all are, but I need you to understand that I’m grieving here.

The man I love took one look at the morally compromised shits I’m normally into and decided he’d rather die than join them! And yes I know I’m still stalling and not taking this as seriously as I should because I still don’t believe it!

See, me and Ryunosuke are on the same page!

I didn’t Susato, but the problem is that you and I have only just met and I’m not very convincing!

:(

Kazuma you legend! I refuse to believe you are dead until I see your corpse.

Now Ryunosuke’s all: I can’t believe they tossed your case around that much. I thought I was going to die.

And Kazuma’s telling me he’s just amazed I fitted inside his trunk in the first place.

Kazuma you can’t be gone! Who else will condescendingly tell me to go to France and ask rather than translate a French label for me?

Now Kazuma’s telling me (Ryunosuke) that I’m going to have to live in his cabin for the next 50 days.

Also we’ve got to keep this from Susato because we’re breaking the law and Kazuma doesn’t want us to take her down with us.

Lol, every day I get shoved into the wardrobe by an uncaring Kazuma!

Oh, that’s what the message said!

God knows what the steward thought Kazuma was keeping in his wardrobe though

:(

See Ryunosuke, this is why we think before we speak.

I don’t envy the real killer when Susato gets hold of them.

From what I can find out it’s a locked room mystery, and the cause of death is still undetermined, so I’m guessing something like poison then rather than an obvious thing, like being stabbed with his big sword.

On one hand, I really hope it wasn’t something like Curare, because I don’t want Kazuma to have gone out like that, but on the other hand poison would explain why the killer didn’t need to be in the room when he died and why Kazuma didn’t strike them down with said big sword.

Ok, so Kazuma, legend that he was, got up every day at the crack of dawn to do sword training. And Susato, who I’m begging to suspect is incredibly hardcore, go up before him so she could go and wait for him outside.

Now that’s interesting.

The two of them seem like they were pretty close, so there’s a good chance it’s just that she’s so familiar with Kazuma’s habits that she can tell the second something’s off, or it could be that there’s some other reason we need to work out.

If that’s correct that means Kazuma was killed in the small hours of the morning.

You know up ‘til now I’ve been assuming Ryunosuke was knocked out or something, and that’s why he was unconscious in the wardrobe, but now I’m starting to think he might have just been sleeping in there.

:((

Wait why’d Kazuma write in Russian?

Like I’d buy that he might know it, but I don’t buy that’s it’s what he’d write in in his finger moments.

Well that proves my innocence then, all we need to do is get some witnesses to verify the ‘go to France and ask’ moment from the last case

Oh ok, I didn’t manage to screenshot it, but it seems that I (Ryunosuke) didn’t put myself in the wardrobe. That’s very odd.

I can see a vent up there, so maybe someone gassed us and then got in while we were asleep and set up the crime scene.

Kazuma said I should come, next question

Ryunosuke, with some of the words that come out of your mouth I don’t think you should be throwing stones.

Love?

Apparently not.

This is going to be something ominous isn’t it...

I’m starting to feel like Kazuma knew he’d never see England.

Kazuma how many toes did you tread on?

Oh fucking hell!

You can’t die and be heading down a dark moral path, that’s not fair!

Yeah, I want to know that too.

Ah

So my poison/drugging theory seems to be holding up. Apparently Kazuma bought me something to eat, I climbed into the hiding wardrobe, and then it’s lights out from there.

Given that I didn’t wake up when Kazuma was killed I’m going to say that also back that theory up. Even if it was silent I feel like Ryunosuke would have woken up if someone was going round the cabin knocking ink bottles over and killing Kazuma.

No, don’t blame yourself Ryunosuke!

It’s my fault really, if I was going to  find Kazuma hot I should have made sure I could manifest inside my switch and protect him!

Ah, of course! Isn’t her dad a professor of pathology? And she seems like the sort of person who picks things up pretty quickly!

In other words, if this is a poisoning, she could be the perfect person to be partnered up with.

:(((

Susato is fully prepared to kick our ass if we try and leave, and as the woman who got up before Kazuma, I think we should listen to her.

:(((((

I say we team up as an investigative duo and catch this bastard!

Yeah!

SHE FUCKED US UP!!!

Susato didn’t come here to play! Especially when we might have killed Kazuma!

(Editors note: this isn’t a bad screenshot, Susato genuinely made Ryunosuke’s vision go blurry)

I know we need to investigate, but my god this woman’s got a fist to match her convictions.

You know when I first met Susato I was a bit afraid she was going to be the inverse of Maya to the point of being meek and shy.

Now I see what a fool I was.

Susato might be prepared to politely follow the rules, but woe betide you if you break them.

She’s even named it!

Again I know this is bad for us but GO SUSATO!

(God damn it you can’t all be my favourite characters)

Her own special martial arts form Ryunosuke!

And just like that she regathers her composure and carries on as if nothing had happened!

I like how she’s still just standing over me.

Ok Ryunosuke let’s go!

(Seriously though we don’t want her as an enemy)

Ah of course, Kazuma stuck the seal on the wardrobe, and the fact Herlock Sholmes (the himbo detective) had to pull it off means I didn’t leave!

No one respects poor Ryunosuke...

So it seems that Susato doesn’t believe we’re innocent just yet, but as we’ve presented the possibility of doubt before her she will let us investigate this room.

Given the buck wild nature of the last trial she was involved in, I honestly can’t blame her for not ruling this possibility out. After all if this was something a witness in a trial had said I’d be thinking the same thing.

Susato’s going to be watching us to make sure we don’t disturb the crime scene, which again is fair.

I’ve got to say, I’m really digging Susato’s cautiously suspicious and sensible nature. It feels like a good counterbalance to Ryunosuke’s beautiful but naïve outlook on life.

I bet if Susato had stowed away onboard a ship you wouldn’t catch her immediately confessing as soon as a sailor started to press her.

Who am I kidding, Susato would never have got into this situation in the first place.

*sob*

Ok so far we’ve got:

A) Half a pink kimono fastener on the floor next to a brick red mark

B) One disturbed table, with the remains of our roast chicken dinner on the floor

C) The terrible knowledge that Kazuma spent his last night on earth hungry because he didn’t like chicken

D) Kazuma’s precious katana, that he loved dearly and that he’d apparently managed to persuade the government to let him bring to the UK.

Oh yeah, drive the knife in why don’t you game!

Why do I feel like Ryunosuke’s about to get roasted?

There we go.

(It’s what Kazuma would have wanted)

DON’T JUST GO WITH IT RYUNOSUKE!

Back to investigating, we’ve got a ransacked shelf, and Kazuma’s London diary.

Just, you know, to rip my heart out...

It looks like the final entry’s incomplete, which means Kazuma was probably writing it when the incident happened. Unfortunately Susato is violently insistent that we respect the Kazuma’s private thoughts after his death, so we can’t read it.

We’ve got the inky Russian(?) on the floor which none of us can either recognize, nor read (including me)

(Sorry to any Russians reading this by the way, I can only assume you’re screaming that this isn’t Russian, but I’m just going by what the Great Himbo Detective said in the cut scene.)

Ok, so the sailor who’s been guarding us got very flustered when we asked if everything was normal last night, meaning that either he’s been skiving off, or everything was in fact not normal last night.

Oh sweet, it seems that Ryunosuke and Susato both read detective novels, and while we’ve shot down the possibility of using the needle and thread trick to unbolt the door from the outside (side note: I must remember to try that later), I feel like both they, and the player who immediately started trying to rattle off facts about Curare, have had a bonding moment.

Ok, I think that’s this half of the room done, let’s go and check out that vent I saw earlier.

So the vent connects to the room next door. That means if the grate could be moved we have a way in and out of our crime scene!

HERLOCK SHOLMES!!!

I mean, he’s quite hard to miss Ryunosuke

(I think Ryunosuke might have an Apollo complex short)

Understatement of the century

Her and me both Ryunosuke, it’s The Great Himbo Detective!!!

WE’RE TALKING TO HIM!

AND HE’S BLANKING US!!!

Herlock Sholmes I understand that you’re in a critical point of your investigation, but you need to understand that Ryunosuke, Susato and I are sad and need to see your magic gun.

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!

IT’S LIKE HE HEARD ME!!!

OH GREAT HIMBO DETECTIVE CHEER ME WITH YOUR WITH YOUR ECCENTRIC ACTS THAT ARE RELATABLE TO MY AUTISTIC ASS!!!

OMFG HE’S SO INCREDIBLY WRONG!!!

I hope this is the way all of his deductions go from now on.

Also I’m sorry Russia and the Russian language, I should not have believed what the man, who on reflection was sold to me as the great himbo detective, said.

Susato’s buying it!

Susato look into my eyes and tell me Ryunosuke could ever make it as a soldier.

No, please do!

And the bullet flies a mile wide!

I’m still upset about Kazuma, but I’m somehow also having the time of my life

SUSATO YOU KNOW I’M FROM JAPAN!!!

SHE TOOK ME OUT!!!

AND MY GOD AM I HERE FOR IT!!!

Ryunosuke’s finally snapped!

What I find amazing is that the Sherlock Holmes Herlock Sholmes stories clearly exist, basically unchanged in this world. So either Dr Watson Wilson was either lying through his teeth to spare his friend’s feelings, or he is the stopped clock is right twice a day person who Herlock actually hit the nail on the head for, and therefore he believed everything that was said.

‘On rout to foreign climates’ that’s how ships work Herlock!

Exactly!

I’ll say one thing for Herlock though, you can’t beat him down!

How am I both Ryunosuke and Susato in this scene?

Yeah Naruhodo-san! I thought you read detective stories!

Quick Susato! Get him to sign a copy!

Um... has no one told him yet...

I’m also curious about the fact that he still believes Dr Wilson’s in London. Either there are two Dr Wilson’s, or something weird is going on here.

Look at his hat Ryunosuke, it contains all the information you need

He got his own name wrong!

Hosonaga, I don’t know if you can hear from wherever you are on this ship dressed as a sailor, but there is a fight and you are rapidly losing!

(Also to be fair to Herlock, as someone who’s been playing a lot of Hitman recently, looking inside the wardrobe already means he’s doing a lot better than literally every character in that game.)

Ok so it was Russian then and I no longer have to apologies!

Do you think Herlock has ever been to Russia?

Ok Mr ‘is this cow a cat?’

:(((((((

HERLOCK THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME!!!

Ok everyone, we’re also on the lookout for a missing Russian Ballerina along with Kazuma’s killer. I don’t know how, but I wouldn’t have been told about her if she wasn’t relevant

I can’t believe we’ve finally found the vindictive part of Ryunosuke’s beautiful personality!

We’re finally reading Kazuma’s diary!

Oh fuck, Kazuma was bitten by an adder

Wait, if that was the case why didn’t he dispatch it with his big sword? We’ve seen him do precision work before, so that can’t be it.

Either way, I think we really need to talk to the person in the room next to mine.

Also: Herlock Sholmes gets seasick!

Did she just break my cuffs?

My mistake she’s just showing some tough love to get me to buck up!

Let’s go team!

HOSONAGA!!!

“What are you doing here?��� “I think that should be my line” This feels like that meme of the two Spidermen pointing at each other

I wouldn’t be so sure Susato. Hosonaga seems a lot like me, a bunch of disabilities held together by sheer force of will.

He still has a job!

(Or his superiors are just trying to send him as far away from Japan as they can)

HELL YEAH HOSONAGA, LETS PUNCH THE RULES UNTIL THEY SQUEAK!

(Also your superiors are definitely trying to ship you out)

Oh...

That would explain Kazuma’s whole vibe.

Although something about this feels wrong. No disrespect to Hosonaga, but as determined as he is he doesn’t exactly have the physical prowess you’d associate with stopping an assassination. I know I haven’t exactly seen him at work yet, but something about this feels like he was set up to fail.

Now the thing is, that while he can cut it as a waiter, Hosonaga isn’t exactly built to fit in among sailors. It’s not going to take a genius therefore, to work out who Kazuma’s guard is, especially if he’s been around Kazuma from dawn till dusk. That’s probably why his killer had to kill him in his cabin, and it’s also why they probably drugged his food (which means they didn’t know him enough to know he didn’t like chicken)

:(((((((((((((

On the plus side though, it looks as though Hosonaga believes in my innocence.

Come on Hosonaga, remember when you bought Miss Brett to us!

Hell yeah Hosonaga!

Hosonaga heard my call! He heard that he was losing his place as my second favourite character and came back swinging!!!

Determination Ryunosuke!

Also probably hacking up a lot of blood, that does wonders to unnerve people in my experience

Now, I should present Kazuma’s diary here... but...

Yes, everything is as it should be...

He’s digging it!

Oh no he took it as an insult!

Sorry Ryunosuke, that’s the crime scene thief’s now

Ok let’s do this properly then

Yeah boy!

LETS DO THIS TEAM!!!

Ryunosuke, do you remember nothing about this man?

Hosonaga didn’t come here to play!

Ok, we’re moving on out (except not right now because I’ve still got a couple of things to look at before we go)

I think Ryunosuke might be a bad influence on Susato...

Also I feel like I’ve pegged Susato wrong regarding the rules. Susato’s just very good at keeping up the appearance of following them.

Come to think of it, the fact she’s a judicial assistant, despite women apparently not being allowed in the Japanese court other than to testify should have clued me in.

Susato Mikotoba: Breaking the rules in front of you, but in a way you don’t notice

(Also the bell pull’s not working, but I think we all expected that)

Susato I’ve been living in a cupboard!

Don’t pity me!

Ok, so I’m not quite sure when Ryunosuke and I started thinking as one, but we’ve all agreed it’s happening now

Ryunosuke do not get caught in the mousetrap!

Susato can see right through me (Ryunosuke)

Umm...

This is the Phoenix Maya dynamic inverted, and I am living for it.

Susato: Now this is an emergency button, it’s very important you do NOT press it!

Ryunosuke: *lunges for the trigger*

It feels amazing being the wayward partner!

Our rout into cabin 2’s blocked by approximately 1 ton of sailor, so for now Susato and I will have to dick around avenge Kazuma out here in the corridor.

It seems that last night’s log is mostly blank, so I’m guessing I was right about the sailor on duty skiving off.

Hmm, so the person in the next cabin’s probably quite important then. Given what just happened with Miss Brett that’s not a good sign.

And it seems like I’m not allowed to visit whoever it is without an invitation... which might prove tricky given as how there in there and I’m out here

Ah good, a Western Gentleman, that’s just what we need!

Hmmmmm

These guys left their post for a while didn’t they?

Either that or there’s something (or someone) they’re keeping off the records.

This might be a bit of a wide shot, but that mousetrap makes me wonder if the crew has some sort of secret pet squirrelled away somewhere. It doesn’t entirely add up what with them putting traps down, but with everyone in Ace Attorney having something to hide it’s all I can think of now.

Bif Strogenov’s left to report to the captain, nows our window to violate some privacy!

HERLOCK SHOLMES!!!

Shot down!

Herlock that thing’s tiny, I don’t think anyone’s in there!

It moved!

Guess I’m eating my words!

Herlock???

Ok, we’re not allowed to look inside the case, or indeed anything, but fortunately we have HERLOCK SHOLMES THE GREAT HIMBO DETECTIVE!!!

Deduce away Herlock!

Herlock... are you about to tell this man that he’s also the Russian Assasin? Are you going to do this round the whole ship until you get it right?

Wait this is working!?!

Herlock Sholmes is Susato’s one blind spot and Ryunosuke’s one point of clarity

CHOOCHOO!!!

THIS IS AMAZING!

He’s not entirely right though...

(Editors note: I completely managed to miss capturing 90% of the ? icons)

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

HERLOCK LOOK AT THIS MAN’S NOSE, LOOK AT MY FACE! NOW LOOK AT THE MAN IN THE PORTRAIT!

However, the newspaper in his pocket and the little ! icon seems to suggest there’s some connection there.

(Editors note: I also managed to miss every ! icon)

And there is a crime being committed, but it’s not to do with the case.

Yeah, it probably just contains one of those pets we’re not supposed to have.

So... a baby?

So do a lot of people Susato

Ok, so The Great Himbo Detective is actually really good at making observations, it’s just how he applies them that’s shit.

I wonder if this is what Dr Wilson did for their partnership, but he just cut out the bits where he said things like: Herlock these people have completely different faces, maybe there’s a different reason they’ve got the paper?

Ryunosuke normally: The fact Hosonaga’s working in this restaurant clearly means he’s struggling financially!

Ryunosuke around Herlock: You can’t just say the first guess that pops into your head!

HERLOCK BUSTED US OUT!!!

(Ok he’s also the reason we were in handcuffs, but still)

Olay!

What! Noooooo!

‘Course Correction: Hold it Mr Sholmes!’ What a title!

Important news just in: Ryunosuke can’t grow a beard

A part of me says that he was about to use the sheers to cut up that paper, but there are obviously other copies around the ship, so unless he’s planning a sheers rampage that can’t be right.

Hello!

Wait a second... with that reaction to the paper... is there a Russian Ballerina in there?

WE DID THE HERLOCK SHOLMES COOL SPIN AND CLICK!!!

Also look at Ryunosuke’s little cocky smirk!

He’s really getting into this!

And I couldn’t be more proud!

We’re tag teaming it!

Herlock I swear to god if you tell me she’s that assassin

WHAT DID I JUST SAY!

(Editors note: Got that one!)

I sure am Susato!

Keep telling yourself that Ryunosuke, we can all see the truth

Ah, so the nose was fake too

That makes a lot more sense now!

Well she did disappear with a priceless tiara

He said, rubbing his hand in glee

This is definitely the start of a beautiful friendship!

Damn straight I do!

Bingo

For some reason I pictured it as being pink though, I don’t know why

Anyway so, while Nikolina does need money it seems that she didn’t steal the tiara. Apparently it was given to her as a present.

Also Nikolina is only 15, and has run away by herself for reasons currently unknown. I’m starting to get the feeling that the crew (or at least the two we’ve met) might have been looking out for her.

Oh yeah, the moving travel case!

Given the rules regarding pets, I wonder if that’s what’s in there? It would explain the attitude of the sailors we met.

Is it the Russian Revolutionary Herlock? You have to tell us if it is...

He’s learning!

Yep, she’s looking at the pet rule sign, now show me the pet!

Whoooooooo!

Yeah, I’m pretty sure the guys on the door were covering for her (and probably her pet too)

Hmm, so Nikolina’s running from someone, so she decided to disguise herself to be safe and has been a jumble of nerve ever since.

Can I see...

Bless you Nikolina, but you’re not the best at keeping secrets. I’m pretty sure the crew have collectively decided to just look the other way and let the traumatised 15 year old have her pet.

HE CUFFED ME AGIAN!!!

I wonder if Nikolina’s beloved pet’s a snake?

Can I just...

:(

Fine...

No, everyone must see my badge!

HA!

:(

:D

Ok now let’s go back to actually playing the game!

So, because she’s a jumble of nerves, Nikolina hasn’t been noticing much about what’s been happening around her. However I think she’d have probably noticed signs of danger, like loud noises, so I’m a little curious as to why she didn’t pick up on the sound of the tableware being sent to the floor.

From what I can gather about her ‘never dancing again’ whatever happened probably has something to do with the ballet.

Either that or she’s worried about being linked with her old life if she goes back on the scene under another name.

That’s a good point actually, while people are funny and I can get her wanting a memento of her life, that’s an incredibly distinctive memento to have.

It must have some sort of emotional significance, I think she said it was given to her by an Earl, so maybe her father?

Hmm, that’s a pretty distinctive thing to try and pawn Nikolina.

Yikes! So the Novavich Ballet’s got really unethical working conditions. (Which probably shouldn’t be too much of a shock given the time period.) Now I understand why Nikolina’s so keen to never put herself in that situation again.

Yeah, I thought that was the case.

Huh?

Oh yeah... that is odd

Ah, so that’s why everyone was so on edge!

Right...

(I feel like this would carry more weight if we hadn’t just been flashing our badge at anyone who looks our way)

Now onto the most important question:

HERLOCK NO!

Susato is me (but personally I’m hoping for a kitten)

Ok Genius, what sort of animal is it?

I’ll eat your funky hat if that’s true Herlock

Important information 2: Never trust Herlock with a pet

Please let it be that we were Kazuma’s pet

Wait no, I’m an idiot. I’m obviously supposed to ask about the speckled band

Wow she changed quick!

She’s leaving to talk to the captain, is this our chance to meet her friend!?!

Booooo, we’ve been chucked out!!!

[skeletonmob]

The Pirate’s Fate - Severely Undercooked

The Pirate's Fate is a visual novel written by T.F. Wright and illustrated by Volkenfox. It's not very good. Well, I guess that gives the wrong impression. It's not completely horrible and it's not the worst visual novel I've ever played, it's just . . . a hot mess. Visual novels are primarily story based, usually with player choices leading to branching narratives and the occasional minigame thrown in. As such, writing is extremely crucial for a visual novel, and the story of The Pirate's Fate is severely undercooked.

I bought it on a whim about a year ago, intrigued by the premise. I played it a handful of times then, and a handful of times more recently to refresh my memory. The premise is, in a world of anthropormophic animals, a spice merchant by the name of Mila is rescued by the Dread Pirates, consisting of Darious, Leeko, Morgana, and later Tam-Tam, after her ship sinks. The group then rope her into their quest to find a series of enchanted coins, which have the ability to transform a person into whatever they wish.

(using images off google because I forgot to take my own)

This is a really interesting premise for a story, and one that's very suited to the branching narrative of a visual novel. The problem, however, is that this is used less to flesh out a fictional world, or put our characters in intriguing scenarios, and more so used to show of the creator's barely disguised fetish. The story's too excited to turn Mila into hulking amazon warrior or give Tam-Tam tits the size of Mt. Everest, that many of it's more interesting ideas aren't given room to breath.

To give you a better idea, during the intro, you find a coin inside a griffon's cave. Afterwards the primary antagonist, Rourkie, holds you hostage and demands you hand over the coin. You have a set of three options to choose from, and from there the story branches out. I chose the second option, which I believe was to feign compliance and then attack. My playthrough then went as follows, Morgana died, we recruited Tam-Tam, visited Circe's island, visited a beauty temple, visited haunted house isle, had an audience with the queen, met someone named Steamchaser, visited a matchmakers shop, and finally the story ended in a mysterious library. I stopped early because I realized I was about to get an ending I saw before, so my total run time was about and hour and 37 minutes. Excluding the intro, all proceeding scenes last about 11 minutes, and with the amount of stuff that happens, that's not enough to flesh anything out.

In this route, Darious feels guilty about Morgana's death. Circe then manipulates that guilt and transforms him into a bear. That alone could carry an entire story, it's a strong if tropey character arc. But after he transforms, he has a heart to heart with Mila, and that's it. All of Darious' guilt vanishes in that one scene, and then he gets possesed by a ghost later on in order to keep the plot going. A similar thing happens on other story branches as well. In one of them, Tam-Tam is transformed from a female lizard into a male rabbit, and she's just kind of cool with it. She still identifies as female, and the conversation in the scene afterward posits her views on gender and identity, and that's it. The rest of her crewmates are totally okay with this development after this one conversation, and nobody reflects on their own gender identity beyond this.

In other branches, you find a coin that allows you to go back in time and change the past. When Darious gets possessed by the ghost, you have the option to go back in time to try and prevent this from happening. If you do, Darious ends up dying instead of Morgana, who's declared herself captain. There's a scene between Morgana and Mila discussing what happened, and that's it. Morgana isn't freaked out that her crewmates come from an alternate timeline. Nobody finds this weird. Nobody wonders what happened to the original crew she had, because she clearly wasn't sailing alone. Nobody posits about what they would've done if they were using the coin. It's just 'wow! time travel exists!' and the story moves on. Again, just like with Darious' potential character arc, this could carry the entire story. There's already a shitload of movies, books, and games based around time travel, but here it's just a plot device.

The world building also suffers from this as well. New settings and characters are introduced and then hastily thrown aside to continue the story. At the beauty temple, we get a lore dump about how the religion of the island is centered around beauty and physical appearances, but we never look beyond that. We never get to look at the surrounding town or talk to anyone else except the two characters that give us the lore dump.

In one route, Leeko gets transformed into the world greatest baker, and the rest of the gang concoct a plan to use him to gain access to the queen's coins. He'll be hired as the head baker, then after gaining her trust, then the gang will kidnap her and hold her for ransom. Aside from being a stupid plan (why couldn't you sneak in and steal the coins while the queen was distracted?), we don't see Leeko meeting the queen or gaining her trust, it just skips right over to her being held for ransom. There's also multiple times where character's say things along the lines of 'We've been searching for these coins for months'. Like, no, it's been five minutes, and skipping scenes like these only make that worse.

The other major gripe I have is that characters die for no reason. In one route, Mila, Tam-Tam, and Morgana have been captured by the queen and are going to be executed. While it's not shown, Leeko is meeting up with Steamchaser, and he agrees to use his magic to help Leeko out. A similar scenario happens on multiple routes, and no matter what, Tam-Tam is executed. Why, though? Like, in this moment, it would make sense for someone to die, but from a big picture perspective, was it really necessary? I can't think of a reason why she needed to die, other than dramatic stakes, and I don't think the story would suffer if she didn't. Also, Steamchaser uses his magic like a minute after Tam-Tam is carried off, could Morgana and Mila not have stalled for time?

Again, this isn't the worst I've seen. The main cast is great, the banter Morgana and Tam-Tam give are some of my favorites. The music is good and so is the voice acting. It's interesting to see the story branch out and wonder what ending you'll get. It's interesting to see what the characters transform into. But none of this excuses the fact that the story consistently fails to properly set anything up or follow through on it.

[by-any-other-games]

the outer worlds!

so the base game of the outer worlds is good, no doubt about that. fun characters, fun gameplay, lots of wackiness. the game doesnt take itself too seriously, so it theres all those marvel-esq quips that get tossed in. a good time

BUT

i'd been stalling on playing the new-ish DLC Murder on Eridanos, because after a while, the pattern of shoot people have a conversation gets a little bit boring. lucky for me, this DLC was not that at all. its a great addition to a game mainly about killing people and should have been part of the base game imo

so this here is the trailer, awesome visuals, its got a song, got stuff to make it exciting, its awesome. anyways, very light spoilers below.

it is such a great time to play this DLC for a few reasons

1. its new

2. its interesting

3. its very full of content

so #1, its not just new to the game, but the gameplay is new to the game.

no other section of the game has long drawn out sections where you search for clues, talk to people and try to cross reference their stories. especially in a game where its really easy to just take the easy route and just kill everything in your path.

so it was particularly fun to play a high speech / high smarts charecter who could get into all those details, but i'd be amazed to see what a stupid charecter playthrough looks like (fyi, outer worlds has stupid based speech checks, you have to be concussed or just stupid to use certain options) cause you could totally just run up and say i know who did it and leave. and i dont know what the game would say about that

#2, obsidian were the ones behind fallout new vegas, so they've got experience with the environmental story telling stuff. while a lot of the stuff you can find aren't like, clues, they still help you piece together this mystery. there were so many small details that i felt should have been clues, but just weren't. And it was okay! i still had just enough information to constantly be updating my theory, but not enough to get the bigger picture

and the story sets itself up so well with the universe that the outer worlds has already set up in the base game. corporate sabotage, intrigue, and companies putting profit over lives is bog standard in the outer worlds. so its absolutely no suprise when you find people with slugs sticking out of their neck, saying rizzo's made them feel happy

but its still not addressed, at least not initially, the crime is just the murder of a tv star, nothing to do with the neck slugs, but as you start to go through everything, more and more threads begin to pile up, the neck slugs, the timeline doesn't fit, the things being stolen at the same time the murder happened

#3 oh my god its such a long dlc

it took me 30 hours to play the base game, and the previous dlc, maybe a 20-10 split? it took 16 hours for me to get through eridanos

granted i did every single quest, but that feels like the only way to play it, if youre investigating, you need to have been everywhere. that motivation is far more present than the "save the colony" plot hook youre given in the base game, in fact, its better than just about any rpg plot hook ive seen. you want to solve the murder not because you care about the person, but because its rewarding to figure things out

also a 4th thing that i just really love: they gave you a thread board.

it actually changes with new info, and you can do the 'take a step back' thing to look at the big picture

and now heres a gif of some overkill

[sleepymarmot]

I’m stalling the DBH playthrough for several reasons, but perhaps the most important one of them at the moment is that I’ve been unable to decide if I should shoot the operator in the next chapter or not.

At first I didn’t even know it was an option. When I learned about it, I thought it’d be a good idea: different from what I’d done before, shows that Markus is willing to harm humans to protect his people, I don’t need to come up with an excuse why Connor would go to the kitchen instead of the roof.

But I sat there for a few days not ready to do that chapter. I looked at the major public opinion decrease that follows a “determined” speech with casualties, thought “Why does it bother me? I’m doing the revolution this time anyway, public opinion means nothing, let these hypocrites hate me all they want.” But eventually I realized it was all very simple. I don’t want to shoot an unarmed running civilian in the back. That’s it. My initial concept for this run, “violent” relatively to my ultra-pacifistic original one, was “good =/= nice”, and shooting people before it’s actually necessary would work against that narrative. Actually, now that I think of it, I made the job much harder for myself, because now I need to actually weigh whether violence is justified in each individual instance according to my own morals, instead of playing it safe by being as idealistic as possible (like I did with Markus originally) or roleplaying a character who’s messed up in a specific way (like I’m doing with Connor now). I think sparing the operator still gives me the opportunity to make a choice about prioritizing android lives. The roof scene might be even better for that. Because by shooting the operator, you’re preventing only a theoretical threat (the SWAT team will arrive before they get away, but Markus doesn’t know that for sure at the moment), but by rescuing Simon and then refusing to kill him you show that you put your men’s lives first even if there’s immediate danger in doing so. 

So I guess I’m not shooting the operator, then. But that leads me to the next question: what do I do with the cops at the end of Capitol Park? Initially I wanted to shoot them, too. Then I rewatched the scene... Well, first of all, the one cop that’s shown in a close-up crying and begging is a black guy... (Chris from Hank’s department whom we’ve met in previous chapters.) What’s with this game’s obsession with making the player character torment defenseless black men and showing their reaction in downright invasive shots? This is at least the third one by my count! This angle exists only on Doylist level, though, so let’s talk about what would factor into both mine and Markus’s decisions. These two cops are not innocent, but at the moment they’re as helpless as that operator. Send him back with a message or take him as a hostage, but cold-blooded execution seems both immoral and impractical. If we count the Stratford Tower broadcast as a declaration of war, wouldn’t executing these prisoners be a war crime? That’s not really what I was going for. On the other hand, the scene where you spare them is just insufferable. “No crime against an android shall go unpunished” is a much stronger line than a sheepishly delivered “An eye for an eye and the world goes blind”. There’s a third option, but it’s even worse: you refuse to make the decision and dump it not even on one of your co-leaders but on a hapless rando who happens to stand next to you. This just makes you a bad leader: you don’t have a strong message to send, you refuse responsibility and don’t even delegate it properly, and you cowardly try to keep your own hands clean. Which means that I either have to go with the weaker ending to the scene, or to intentionally have my character make a mistake instead of embodying an ideal. I guess I’ll think about it more, or play it by ear.