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stellarrmoon · 4 years

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Black Sand and Copy Cat

Pairing: kakashi x reader

Genre: smut; 1/???

Warnings: get some water.

Status: unedited

Background: you're a sand shinobi sent to the leaf village in order to learn some new skills. Except, you dont look like everyone else; and that catches the attention of the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake.

I settled into my room nicely, being escorted by a Jonin ninja to my quarters and left to my own space. It was only 4 in the afternoon and I was feeling ready for dinner. I didn't know how I could go into the village without raising as much curiosity as much as I did in front of Lady Tsunade.

I was clearly different from the people here and some wouldn't take kindly to me purely because I was clearly foreign. But I had a solution to limit the uproar. I had only come with a backpack filled with one day's change of clothes, weapons and bandages to wrap around my face.

Lady Tsunade assured me that I wouldn't have to worry about anything during my stay and I trusted her word, seeing as how she and her ninja accepted me quite quickly. I heard a knock on my door and opened it to reveal the Jonin who brought me to my room.

"A few of us would like to invite you to dinner tonight. Since you don't know anyone, we thought it was the best way to get you to meet a few people in the village so that you're not completely lonely."

I could tell that he was still curious about my origins by the way he looked at my hair but I didn't think much of it. "Thank you, I'll be there."

"That's great!" He beamed, "I'll send one of my friends to come escort you."

I spent about an hour in my room carving the few weapons I had brought with me. About 3 knives had already been sharpened and there were only 2 left, counting the one in my hand. I was in my own peace until I was interrupted by a knock.

That must be my escort.

I shouted that "I'm coming!", and wrapped bandages around my neck and the lower half of my face so only my eyes and forehead were shown. When I opened the door, I was met with the same white haired man who startled me earlier. "Oh, it's you."

He was reading a book as he leaned against the wall across my door, not caring that I wasn't pleased to see him. "Yes, it is me. I take it you're ready to go, Ms Amabel."

I narrowed my eyes, "How do you know my full name?"

"I asked around." He said as he flipped a page in his book, "Let's go, or else they'll finish all the meat."

I closed my door and followed the man - "Kakashi" - outside of the building and onto the street. This time, he didn't bother making conversation

"So what is the reason that you are so closed off that you can't even entertain a tiny conversation with me?"

Or so I thought.

You resisted the urge to scoff, his attitude was too nonchalant for your liking. He asked like it wasn't weird for him to be so curious about a visiting resident. "Come on, Ms Amabel, don't leave my poor soul hanging."

"I can hear your smirk inside your stupid mask."

"Ooh, a fiesty one, aren't you?"

"Are we there yet?!"

He closed his book and put it into one of his vest pockets, "Patience, bunny."

"Excuse me?!"

"Kakashi!" A loud voice called before I could continue, and it was coming from the entrance of the shop we were standing in front of. The voice belonged to a man donned in a green jumpsuit and vest with a shining bowl cut and bushy brows. "You're late to the dinner which makes me the winner of the race!" He exclaimed quite excitedly.

I heard Kakashi sigh beside me, causing my lip to quirk as I thought of him being irritated by something as pretentious as this guy in front of us. Suddenly, the intense man turned to you and came incredibly close to inspect me. I was weirded out already as he invaded my personal space but when he wiped his thumb on my forehead, I screamed. He responded by screaming as well and jumped back.

"Kakashi! What is this?"

He asked as if I wasn't clearly a person. Kakashi cleared his throat, "She's the representative of the Sand village we were told about last week, Guy."

"B-b-b-but... she's..."

"I'm what?" I asked softly, looking the now fearful man in the eye, daring him to say what was in his mind.

Aside from that startling question, I had a fairly good dinner. The jonin I met were all kind, even the super weird guy with his big brows. It gave me a slight sense of home and how all my comrades would find ways to make our table the loudest whenever we ate out.

Kakashi took me back to my place and by the end of the night, my thoughts about him had changed. At first, I was just skeptical about the sneaky guy and a tad irritated by his joking demeanor, but something about him seemed so genuine that I decided to give the guy a chance. I couldn't say he was attractive, purely because I couldn't see his face at all but something about his aura intrigued me about him. Why was he a mystery?

Scolding myself for thinking about him, I shook my head and gathered my things to get ready for the day. Since it was winter, the mornings were still dark but I estimated it was around 5 o'clock. I mentally thanked myself that I had braided my hair last night because who knew what state it would be in after my sleep.

I wrapped a towel around my body and grabbed my toiletries to go to the communal bathrooms. Of course, I had to use shoes inside because I didn't know what could infect me. Unfortunately, I didn't know which way to go and I stood, confused, at the at the top of a staircase at the end of the corridor.

"Wanna know where the bathroom is?"

"Shit!" I jumped at the voice right beside my ear, turning around to face a muscular, bare chest that belonged to none other than Kakashi. I looked up to his masked face and scowled. "Stop sneaking up on me."

"Where's the fun in that, Bunny?"

"Bunny? Why do you call me Bunny?"

He chuckled as if it was obvious. I couldn't stop myself from looking at his exposed torso and internally gasping at how well-built he was. "I call you that because you're so jumpy..." he leaned down beside my ear again. This time, I sensed him take off his mask so his lips brushed against my ear as he said, "...Bunny."

I couldn't move, even when he pulled away and walked past me.

"Bunny?" I quickly turned. "Aren't you coming to wash up?"

I almost cursed at his tilted head, "Fine."

As hard as I sounded on the outside, I was actually losing my mind at what just happened. He was so close to me and with only a towel around his waist. I couldn't deny that his body was amazing, and it had been a while since I last felt the touch of a man. Who knew what this guy could do with his hands, and a small part of me wanted to find out.

Two flights of stairs later and "We're here. The bathrooms aren't separated into male and female so everyone can see everyone. But lucky for you, it's just the two of us up this early."

Lucky? What's lucky about being naked around a guy I met a day ago?

It's a hot guy you met a day ago, my subconscious said.

Kakashi entered the bathroom swiftly, choosing a showerhead right in the middle and getting to his business. I took the showerhead opposite his because it was the best way to hide my body from him; if I chose one to the sides, he could easily have peeped over. I set the water to piping hot, turning around to let it hit my back just the right way and solicit a dragged out moan from me.

"That's an interesting sound."

I opened my eyes to see Kakashi facing me and his hair was drenched, falling over the one side of his face that wasn't exposed. "Eek! You pervert!"

I hurriedly overed my body with my arms and hands, turning back around and trying not to freak out. "I'm not the one who chose the shower closest to me."

It wasn't long until I felt his presence right behind me and something poking my lower back. Holy shit. "Nice ass, Bunny."

Without another word, I heard Kakashi leave the bathroom and I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. "What the hell just happened, Ama?"

It had been a weak since I had arrived at the Leaf village and I was still thinking about that moment I had with Kakashi in the bathroom. 1st of all, I didn't even know he was living in the same lodge as me, and 2nd, the man pretended as if nothing happened. He wasn't escorting me to places anymore due to how he had his own group of young ninjas to train and look after, which made me sad a little but I figured that the less we spent time together, the better.

I attended training every single day, spending a total of 12 hours learning techniques and the basics. I had a kind mentor named Anko and she was patient with me. She praised the fact that my body was in good enough shape to handle the training and questioned me about why my chakra was so strong for someone who wasn't a shinobi at my age of 19. I didn't know anything except for the fact that the woman who found me as a baby, was a witch who gave me power to survive in Japan.

She looked after me while she stayed in the Sand Village and it was only recently that she left on her "next quest", she put it. I was sad that the woman who moulded me into who I am today had to leave but I understood her reasons.

It was only midday and Anko had taken me to the forest to do target practice with my knives and shuriken. We had been going at it for a while until a ninja disturbed us, whispering to Anko about something I was obviously not supposed to hear. "Ama. I have to leave."

"What? But I haven't finished my training for today."

She sighed and started walking backwards as the other ninja ran, "I know, I'm sorry. But they've sent someone here to help you for the rest of the day!" Her voice drifted as she got farther away.

I huffed and rolled my eyes, a bit bummed that she wouldn't be here later to spar with me.

"Aww, don't pout, Bunny."

I looked up to see Kakashi hanging from a tree. "What the hell is up with you and sneaking up on me? Do you enjoy seeing me lose my breath?"

"Of course I do!" He jumped down to stand right in front of me, "I wanna try another way of making you do that, though."

My jaw dropped as soon as he said the suggestive words, "How can you be so relaxed about saying words like that?"

"I have nothing to lose, Bunny." He started going to different trees and marking them with Xes as he spoke to me.

"What about your job?"

"Why would I lose my job for giving you an extra warm welcome?" He looked at me. "It's not like you don't enjoy it."

"...Liar." I hesitated.

"Is that why your nipples were so hard in the bathroom last week?"

He had me speechless, I didn't know what to do in front of this guy. He was too good at being himself.

"Anyways, let's carry on with your training, yeah?"

"You're Anko's substitute?" I resisted the urge to laugh but I ended up letting out a chuckle at the thought of this guy teaching me. "You have to be kidding me. You can't be as good as Anko."

"No, Bunny, I'm better. Have you not heard of my reputation?" With each word he spoke, he took a step closer to me, "I'm one of the Leaf Villages best ninja. See this eye right here," He lifted his headband to reveal his left eye which was a bloody red colour and decorated by a long scar running vertically down the skin over underneath, "this eye lets me figure out my prey's moves before they can even make them. They call me the copy-ninja because I always catch my prey, and Bunny..."

He did something I wasn't expecting and placed his cold hand on my exposed midriff. "Kakashi."

"You are my most enticing prey."

I only saw pale skin for a second when Kakashi pulled his mask down, before he crashed his lips into mine and started kissing me like he was starved. My body reacted on its own as I melted into his body and let his arms support me while I let him suck on my tongue. This kiss was unlike any I had ever had; it was full of hunger and want and passion, most of it coming from him but it was a moment where I couldn't deny my strong attraction to him.

One of his hands travelled to my thigh, which he hiked up and wrapped my leg around his waist. The other quickly followed and he leaned me against a nearby tree to make things easier. Soon, his lips moved from my lips to my jaw to my neck and it wasn't until they reached the top of my cleavage that I had to stop him.

"Kakashi, wait."

He stopped. He leaned his forehead on my chest and I could feel his grip on my thighs loosening. In the next minute, Kakashi had put his mask back on and let me stand on me feet, leaving space between us for me to talk.

"I don't want to do this here."

"I can see that. Let's get to your training, shall we?"

I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried. For the past 3 days, I couldn't get the image of that kiss I had with Kakashi in the forest and I was yearning for more. Fed up, with the cycle, I grabbed the nightgown I had bought a few days ago and wore it before stepping out. I knew there was a rooftop so I headed up the stairs and stepped onto the gravel before I noticed, at the rail, none other than...

"Kakashi." I breathed out.

His figure turned and as he did so, the moonlight shone on his body, making the muscles look better than ever. "Ms Amabel."

I chuckled as I walked towards him, "What, no 'Bunny' today?"

He smiled and that's when I noticed that he had his mask off. I couldn't see much because of the dark but I could tell that he was beautiful. He had a long, pointed nose that was slightly upturned and his lips were soft but plump, exactly as how I felt them against mine. He had a mole next to his bottom lip that made him look even more charming. This man was a dream. "You like it when I call you Bunny?"

Suddenly, I got shy and looked down, playing with my thumbs. "Well... yeah."

He grabbed a hold of my waist and pulled me flush against his body. Even though he was wearing long pants, I could feel his hard-on against me. "If I call you Bunny, what do you call me?"

This man seemed hellbent on fucking me. The way he spoke and the way he held me - the way he looked at me. It's like I was... his prey.

"Well?"

I looked into his differently coloured eyes and found myself getting lost in them. "Kakashi..."

He laughed boisterously, "Really? You're gonna stick with Kakashi?"

"No... I was thinking maybe, Daddy?"

He let out a groan and his grip was tighter on me, "Don't joke with me, Bunny."

"I'm not." Now I looked at him more intently. I needed us to get into a room now. "Let's go." I whispered into his chest.

Before I could say another word, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Kakashi!" I giggled while he snickered. He basically jumped down the stairs until we reached his room and he slammed the door shut with his foot.

I was thrown onto the bed, resting back on my forearms to admire his physique. Moonlight peaked though the window and highlighted his body. "You're staring quite a lot, aren't you?"

"Got a problem with it?"

"Not if you'll let me return the favor." He grabbed a chair and made himself comfortable, manspreading right in from me.

Usually, I was a person who liked to keep to myself but when it came to pleasing a partner - especially one who made me as aroused as Kakashi - I had no boundaries. I figured I'd tease him a little bit before I got to showing him what he wanted to see.

"Come on, Bunny, don't make me beg." His voice was soothing as he watched me let down the straps of my nightgown one by one. He followed my hands as they played with the hem and started lifting it up. The closer I got to exposing myself, the more Kakashi leaned forward, but I pulled it back down at the last moment, giggling at Kakashi's shocked face.

I knew it! "You're a perv, Mr Hatake. But that kinda makes me excited."

Finally, I pulled the dress over my head and threw it on the floor. I felt my boobs bounce as I let Kakashi drink in the sight of me. "It's gonna be hard for me to keep my hands to myself if I watch you."

"Then touch me, Daddy."

Kakashi swiftly glided to kiss me, holding my hands to the bed by my wrists as he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I was already a bit wet from feeling his dick earlier but he was making me wetter. He wasted no time getting to kiss every inch of my body, from my neck to my boobs, my tummy and legs. He paid special attention to my boobs and thighs, saying they were "fucking amazing" which only led me to yearn for him more.

The way his hands were all over my skin made me burn up and his voice as he praised my body made me all the needier. "Kakashi..."

"Yes, baby..."

His hand travelled to my mound which caused me to gasp as he cupped it.

"I'm gonna make this mine, Bunny."

A slim finger slid up my slit, collecting the sticky wetness that had already collected there. I watched as he started to play with my pussy. Kneeling in front of my open legs, Kakashi circled and pressed against my clit in such a way that had me squirming. He was taking his time with me but all I wanted was to feel him deep inside my heat.

I was only letting out soft, sweet moans; back arched and head thrown back when he started to tease the area around my opening. "Please..." I sounded like a whore.

He pushed the fingers I fantasized about in the past into me, making me tense in pleasure. In and out, he started to maneuver them, making me writhe from his touch and play with my own boobs.

"Ah... yes, Kakashi, just like that." I mewled as I felt his fingers curling inside me; they kept hitting a spot that made me go crazy, and my sounds seemed to encourage him.

"You look so beautiful right now, Amabel. My hand's covered in your juices and they're glistening in the moonlight right now, baby. That's how wet I made you, you know that?"

Kakashi himself was breathless as he watched my body shine with sweat while I kept myself from screaming at his touch. With the pace getting faster, so did the frequency of my moans. "Ah...ah! Oh my God, Kakashi, please make me cum."

Those words triggered him to grant me my wish as his mouth latched onto my clit and he got to licking and sucking. I felt it coming soon and struggled to keep my hips on the bed, Kakashi's hand on my lower belly the only thing keeping me steady. He moaned, the vibration causing me to still as I felt my stomach twist into the tightest knot.

"Kakashi, I'm cumming!!!"

I cried through my orgasm as I rode his fingers and face. I opened my eyes through it and he was watching my pussy convulse and pulse as kept pumping his fingers. "That's it, Bunny. Cum for me more."

He had a sadistic smile as he watched me lose control, finally deciding it was time for him to feel you around his length. Kakashi pulled out his fingers, before suddenly slamming his hard dick into my tightness. I silently screamed, rolling my eyes to the back of my head as he tried to burrow deeper inside me.

"Fuck, baby, it won't fit."

He took a deep breath before starting to roll his hips. They moved in waves, a continuous rhythm that had his penis entering and pulling out of my pussy in regular intervals, the squishing of my wetness very prominent in every thrust. "Ka-ka-shi..."

I purred into his ear while he buried his head in my neck, biting and kissing at my skin while one hand fondling a breast. "You feel so good, Bunny. Fuck, it's so tight."

"Mmmm Daddy, please go faster." I pulled his hair one last time before he lifted himself off my upper body and started thrusting at a greater speed. The sound of our skin slapping along with our moans and groans and cries made the room as erotic as ever.

"I'm gonna make you cum so hard, Bunny. Just look Daddy in the eye and make sure you let me know just how good I'm making your pussy feel."

Right when he placed my legs over his shoulders, I did what he said and good God, did his Sharingan eye not make me cum. "Daddyyyyyy!!! Ughhhhhhh!!!"

I screamed his name while the eye glowed and tears flowed down my face since he kept going and pounding me relentlessly as I orgasmed. I felt another one coming when he kept hitting my g-spot and tightened around his thick shaft, my walls keeping him locked in his position. I could feel him throb inside me. "You're so amazing, baby. Daddy's not even close to being done with you."

He pulled out, making me see just how big he was. He had to be at least 10 inches, with a good girth as well. I couldn't admire his appendage long enough because he flipped me over with ease and like before, rammed into my already sensitive heat. My juices were already coating my thighs and the area above his dick, I wondered how long he could go.

"Kakashi!" The man held my arms behind my back with one hand and grabbed my throat with the other. As soon as he pulled my body up, he didn't stop fucking up into me. We kissed as I felt another one coming, the lack of control I had over myself turning me on to the maximum. I felt the blood to my head stop circulating and felt my eyes closing.

"You wanna pass out taking my dick, Bunny? Hm, you wanna go to sleep knowing I own your pussy like this?" His voice was gruff, as if a monster had taken over him.

"Yes Daddy, please. Make me yours now. I'll do anything to feel it again, just use my body how you want!"

His grip on my neck tightened and again, I looked at his red eye. As if he saw what was coming next, Kakashi widened his eyes and gave one last thrust into me and we both came. His eye glowed brightly as he coated my walls with his seed and held my body as I shook from my most intense orgasm.

Surprisingly, he still felt hard inside me so he gave one last thrust that triggered something in me causing my body to let go of so much liquid it wet most of the sheets. It went on for a few moments as my strangled moan came out while my pussy spasmed again. "Fuuuuuck Kakashi!"

He kissed me deeply for a few seconds before delicately, guiding my body off his dick. I felt our combined cum spill out of me but I didn't have the energy to worry about it. Instead, I turned to look at Kakashi who had the biggest smile on his face as he looked at me.

"Where are we gonna sleep?" I inquired.

#hatake #kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #copy ninja #kakashi smut #lemon #naruto #naruto shippuden #shinobi #sand shinobi #leaf village #tsunade

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timeslostart · 4 years

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March 19th 2021

THERAPEUTIC KNITTING - STRESSED NO MORE

It really is a thing...

Being a single mom can be hard at the best of times let alone in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. Moving back to my hometown (city actually), finding a full-time job after being a stay at home mom for two years, trying to start my own business and dealing with the daily trials and tribulations of having a now four year old little boy is not easy. (read my Halloween post :p )

The one thing that has been helping me get through this very trying time is that I have wonderfully creative and supportive people in my life that constantly push me to continue to be creative myself. I draw a lot of inspiration for my designs from the people I know and the situations that arise in my life. No situation or experience is too tough to get through.

I always try to see the glass half full even though lately it's been getting harder and harder to do so in my personal life and my professional life.

I have been working on this mountain blanket design since last July for a Christmas present (that was the goal anyway as it is March 2021 now) and I've had to start over six times already. I try not to look at this as a failure as I've learned so much trying to attempt this pattern that I created; new stitches and new techniques in order to get the result I desire but it still has been a very long, difficult process. Because of this I thought it might be interesting in this post to talk about how I create my patterns and how many times I do start over in order to get it just right. This is my personal version of knit therapy. Sometimes in order to create you must first destroy! Ripping out my knitting after getting frustrated with it can be truly satisfying at times.

STEP 1 Idea

Now an idea for a new design can literally come from anything or anywhere for that matter. My friend's favourite colour or a conversation I have with my child; even a picture or image I see online or in my travels. For my mountain blanket it all started with a conversation that I had with my coworker. He talked about growing up in Banff, Alberta and how he would go snowboarding in the mountains and bam it hit me, I'd design a pop art inspired piece. That's all it was in the beginning, just two words... mountains and pop art. (well I guess three words but you get the idea)

STEP 2 Design

Designing is always fun for me, I get to let my imagination run wild. For patterns that involve any kind of pictures as part of the design element, like my mountain blanket, I use my Microsoft Excel program and create a chart.

Once that is underway I decide on a size for my pattern and adjust my chart accordingly. This can take a few hours or even a few days to get just right. My blanket was designed specifically to fit a twin bed so it was quite a big undertaking to begin with and having to start it over six times... I'm surprised I haven't ripped all my hair out yet.

STEP 3 Making

Now it's one thing to have an idea and another to have a design but if you can't take your vision and turn it into reality it's back to square one. I have spent the past 8 months trying to make this blanket work. It has a beautiful seed stitch pattern followed by the mountain design and I just can't get my tension on the mountains right. My stitches are either too tight or too loose or my yarn drags too much on the underside of the blanket. It's been such a frustrating project, I've actually shed a few tears over it. That's where Step 4 comes in.

STEP 4 Adapting

Like I said earlier this blanket was meant to be a Christmas present. I should clarify, it was for Christmas 2020. So three weeks before Christmas I had finally had it with my blanket. Enough was enough. I was still only half done and had to rip out the mountain section yet again. Nothing seemed to be going right and it looked like I wasn't going to have a gift to give at our Christmas gathering when I decided that my best course of action was to get back to basics and go back to my roots.

In one of my earlier posts I mentioned that I was a cross-stitcher before I was a knitter. That skill certainly came in handy here. A knitting chart and a cross-stitching chart are very similar so it was quite easy to convert my mountain pattern over to a smaller needle and thread.

Four weeks later I had my design completed as a cross-stitch just in time for our Christmas gathering. (sometimes having a Covid-19 quarantine around the holidays resulting in festivity postponement works in your favour) A good lesson here was not only do you need to know how to adapt but you need to know when to adapt. As an artist and as a person I need to know my limits and when certain skills or certain things are just out of my reach. It doesn't mean that I'm going to give up, it just means that I need more time to acquire what I need in order to succeed. At the end of the day I'm still new to knitting, I've been doing it for less than a decade and I still have so much left to learn. I just need a little bit more time before I can attempt the kind of intricate patterns that I would like to do. Until then it's good to take a break from knitting every once and a while and make sure my embroidery skills stay sharp.

Pop Art Mountain Mash-Up 2.0

Not too shabby!

If you would like to purchase any wooden embroidery hoops or embroidery thread please check us out at

www.timeslostart.com

A smaller cross-stitched version of this mountain pattern will be available for purchase in the summer months.

Gabrielle Vansteelandt

Times Lost Art

#knitblr #knitpatterns #knitters of tumblr #knittingpatterns #tutorial #cross stitch #cross-stitch #timeslostart #popart #pop art #handmade

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chantalsblogen · 4 years

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January 18, 2021

How am I doing now?

I am at day 109 after gastric bypass (GBP) surgery and things are getting better by the day. It's going pretty well actually. I feel quite fit, move more and more smoothly through life and have the idea that I feel better about myself than a year ago. At least until now, because of the new period of hard lockdown, a few things have changed of course.

Food and drinks

I can still have everything, I like everything as much as before, even black coffee. So nothing really changed in that. I also dare to try more often,to test myself. Not the quantity, but more the type of food or the way we prepare it. And with me being a real foodlover, that’s a good thing. I just eat about 1/3 of a regularplate with food.

Sports

I also started exercising in mid-November: twice a week in the gym (including strength training and fitness building under the supervision of a physiotherapist) and once a week in the water (swimming or Aqua body & mind). Having my warming up by cycling to the gym, on the way back on Wednesday I get myself a espresso macchiato at Flinn’s café bar, buy some groceries at the market and go back home to work. But I haven't canceled anything once, so I've been on the right track.

Work

I started working again early November and since mid-November I have been working my full hours (36). In the beginning I only worked at home, so I could save energy by not driving drive to 's-Hertogenbosch from Vianen. From December until now I work an average of two days a week at home and two days at the hospital. I try to find a good balance in that, because on the days in the office I am still very tired when I get home. All the energy that I have goes into work and that’s not right.

Relaxation

Since I noticed that my energy level is not yet back to 100%, I try to relax at home in as many ways as possible. My new hobby LEGO is one of them. After the Elf Clubhouse and the Volkswagen bus, I recently put together the Gingerbreadhouse. But we also go out together on the weekend. All corona proof, of course. We recently drove the New Dutch Waterline route in a puzzle tour. I also started reading more (book 6 of "The Seven Sisters") and I have made a 1000-piece puzzle (also from Lego). All I still need is sleeping better and then I am completely zen again.

Fifty before 50 list

And in spite of everything, I try to work on my "Fifty before 50" list. Although we can’t undertake all by far, I did quite a bit already. For example, we have already eaten fish at the sea, enjoyed the high tea of the Jan de Groot (from the Bossche Bollen), I have already bought some pieces of the Blue Fold tableware, I have selected and stored my Lego bricks, bought a bicycle bags and nice short boots, I started Italian lessons again, I started exercising more, I regularly put flowers inside, I work at least 1 day a week at home and I keep my administration up better.

All together I look back on the past three months with a satisfied feeling. I have now crossed my -20 kg limit, so the weight loss is also steadily continuing. Up to more kgs, because that's what it's all about of course. The loss especially noticeable in my clothes. You can imagine wil that I can't wait to go shopping again.

That’t is for now. Ciao! X

#gastric bypass #new life #weightloss #my story

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 years

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Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..

If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)

7. ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...

#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu #mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask #from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol #replies #okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my #response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg #( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort #i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol

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bowieemeddow · 5 years

Text

TRINITY. (Queen Fanfiction)

Part 1 // Runaway.

Summary: Margaret McCullugh comes to the realisation that her life is a total mess. After an argument she realises she’s had enough; she grabs her bags and runs away.

Note:Hi guys this is the first chapter of my new fanfiction. I’m not the best writer and this is my first time so please go easy on me; there will be grammar and spelling mistakes throughout this chapter. Feedback will be greatly appreciated 🙂

Warnings; Swearing, sexual assault, bad writing, slight Scottish slang (I’m from Scotland and I write the way I talk sorry 😉✌🏻)

Enjoy.

Thursday // May 1970

"I've never wanted to punch him in the face more in my life than at this point of time." I thought to myself as I glared at him across the dining table. Even from what felt like a mile away; I could still see that smug look on his Greg's face.

"Margret! Are you even listening to me?" I tore my focus from my bastard of a step father to my bastard of a mother. "You'll be meeting Thomas next thursday remember. To talk about arrangements."

Ah Thomas Russel. Son to a millionaire family; him being a successful doctor in the making at 22 and is apparently a distant relative of some foreign royal family (to be fair I wasn't listening to the shit leaving my mothers mouth)

The cherry on top of it all; I've never actually met the boy and I'm his fiancé.

"Poor Thomas." Gina; my younger sister mumbled under her breath while eating her dinner.

"Mind your own business you little shit!" I spat kicking her harshly under the table. Believe me I know this makes me look bad but I promise you I'm not a bad sister; I was actually excited when I found out I had another sibling on the way. I loved her even when she was a newborn. It was when she started talking; she turned into a sneaky little bully and mummy's favourite.

"That's enough don't you dare kick your sister again!" She snapped at me.

I cringed at my mothers comment; more because of the way she said it. Trying to act as posh as possible; trying to mask the natural Glaswegian accent she's had her whole life; the same thick apparently "rough" accent I also have yet Gina never developed it as bad as me, my dad had the rough accent and I was a daddy’s girl... before he left us.

"Why do I have to marry him. I didn't him pick him, hell I haven't even met him! Marrying me off to becoming nothing but a trophy wife? Fully dependable on my husband with a big empty house full of loads of children. Nothing to do except cooking and cleaning-"

"Can we please change the topic?! I don't feel like sending you upstairs again." My mum sighed

"Oh mother!" Gina exclaimed making me jump; her bloody voice goes right through me.

"This dinner is absolutely amazing!" I chuckled to myself quietly, Gina is so far up mums arse it's embarrassing.

"Thank you darling I made it myself."

Yeah right did she make this shit, she doesn't even know how to use the stove, it was the cook that made it. All of it is vegan since "meat is the reason why your acne is so bad and you've starting to lose that figure Margaret, you simply don't take proper care of yourself."

“Oh god I forgot! I was meant to take you bra shopping today.” Mum informed Gina

“But she’s only 13 mum. I never got my first bra till I was 15?” I argued, Gina got everything she wanted without having to even lift a finger.

“You should go with them Margaret. You wear too small a bra better go up a size sweets." He smirked away as he took a drink of his wine that's likely more expensive than everything I own.

At that point I was so pissed off I grabbed the closest thing to me which was a potato from my plate funnily enough and threw it at his head. If I wasn’t so pissed off I think would’ve found it difficult to keep a straight face.

Friday// May 1970

While sitting in period 7 English I thought back to last night.

After successfully hitting Greg's big head with a potato for his inappropriate comment about his step daughter's breasts; Mum took his side and got sent upstairs without eating anything for the rest of the night; not like I wanted to eat any of that shit anyway.

"God he's so cute!" The girl next to me squealed to her friends who were both in front of her; their chairs turned from their tables to form a circle that I was sadly apart of. I wasn friends with the three girls; Tracey, Yasmine and Gemma were the popular girls, the best housewives in the making.

I looked down at the newspaper which Tracey had in her hands, it was crumpled up due to her "fan girl" moment taking over her senses.

"The Gregory Special." The newspaper was called;

Only rich wankers read it.

"Thomas Russel is ready to settle down but who's the lucky girl?"

It said with a picture of the boy himself below it . Wasn't his best picture; he was probably flirting with some random girl in while the photo was being taken.

"So who is the bitch huh?" Gemma spat as Tracey read away at the newspaper trying to figure it out.

"YOU! Mrs Reynolds wants to see you in her office.” My English teacher shouted pointing at me it made the three girls jump back to their original spots as if they were actually listening to the lesson.

Shit what have I done now; I usually lose track at this point.

While putting my things in my bag I looked over at the three girls to see them scanning back through the newspaper frantically to find out who the "lucky woman" was.

I accidentally let out a chuckle of sympathy which caught their attention.

“I’m sorry, is there something you want to say?” Jemma snapped.

"Yeah I do actually since you three can't read for shit. Page 24." I sassed back and waited a moment.

"Margaret McCullugh? Who the bloody hell is that?!" I rolled my eyes at the stupidness.

"Margaret McCullugh. Now." My teacher shouted across the classroom which I nodded to standing up and grabbing my bag and coat with a grin on my face.

The three girls had their mouths wide open once they put two and two together; it was me.

"Bye girls." I whispered chuckling while leaving the classroom.

...

"Please tell me you are joking Miss McCullugh?" Mrs Reynolds pleaded with me

"What's wrong with what I want to do once I leave here?" I argued back.

"Your mother is a politician; she could bloody well be the prime minister in a several years time. How is she gonna get there with her child wanting to do.... textile design?" She gagged at the though of me becoming something that wasn't a doctor or lawyer.

"Why does it fucking matter anyway I can't even do what I want. My mums already set up my whole life." I argued back slouching in my seat with my arms crossed over my chest.

Fuck being ladylike.

"Ah your talking about your engagement with Thomas Russel. Your mother wants you to just be okay, she's worked hard for where she is right now and it was a risky thing she done to get there. She doesn't want you taking any risks when you go onto be a politician or a lawyer-"

"Or a textile design artist." I corrected for her not giving in to her manipulation.

"Margaret I know you okay. Through these past 6 years that you've been in this school you've been very strong willed and feministic attitude to social issues and topics."

"Damn right-"

"But I'm sorry to burst your bubble but this is a patriarchal society we are living in. Woman will not change society. Ever."

I was beyond pissed at this moment of time. I shot up off my seat and slammed down both my hands on her desk in order to shut her up.

"Fucking watch me then!”

...

Saturday // May // 1970

"Hey chickadee." Tana smiled as she came into one of the private rooms of the pub, she lifted my feet and plopped herself next to me in the booth then put my feet back down to they were resting on her lap.

"Hi." I said stretching slightly as I shut my notebook over immediately and set it down on the table.

Tana was probably one of my only friends at this point of time; the moment she turned 19 she was allowed to decorate her parents bar; to which she called me up and asked to borrow my creative mind for help. Before it was just an old looking bar where young ones likes to hang out; now it was a modern neon, rock music bar.

"Glam Rock" it was called and it was placed in a more poverty ridden area of Glasgow. If my mum found out I was here I'd get murdered.

Every Saturday night people from everywhere would come here and celebrate a new "generation" as they called it.

"This new rock generation is gonna grow everywhere. Where men dress like women and women dress like men. Completely and utterly flamboyant!" I remember Tana saying to me when I first came across this bar; it was a Saturday morning and she was getting ready for a party. I was here because I was trying to find the record shop since they sell limited editions for half off.

"We just need someone to spread Glam Rock to every corner of the world."

"HELLO EARTH TO MARGARET!" She shouted snapping her fingers in front of me.

"Huh?" I said snapping back to reality.

"I said were you writing something?" She said pointing to my notebook, I didn't answer yet again because I was too busy admiring what she was wearing.

"For fuck sake! Have you took something?" She laughed trying to get my attention again.

"Sorry, sorry just had a long day. Thinking about what kind of punishment I'll get this time once I make my way home." I chuckled

"Anyways what did you say again?"

"Writing songs... oh and you've also got your camera."

"When am I not writing songs or taking photos Tana?" I said sitting up to grab my vodka and lemonade and down it.

"That's very true. So, let's see what photos you took." She said as she pulled off her slip on heels so she could fold them in a basket.

I put down the two photos I took on the table.

"Have you got a pen." I asked her as she admired the photos.

"Umm.. yeah I think somewhere in they drawers." She said turning her head to the left to show me where it was.

"This bar does look fucking amazing, you have to admit it."

"It's because I decorated it Tana. I hate to toot my own horn here but I'm fucking brilliant at decorating." I laughed as I took one of the photos and wrote the location and date behind it; then done the same with the other.

"You're good at everything you do it does my head in." Tana complained with a groan as she ran her fingers through her black long curly hair.

"I'm not."

"You are. You can paint, you create these amazing clothes, you can play the piano like no one else. You're an amazing singer..." my smile dropped as I grabbed both the photos from Tana's grip and stuck them in my bra for safekeeping before sticking the the pen back in the drawer; the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop, or more like you could here me slamming the drawer shut.

"Maggie-"

"I'm not a singer." I said interrupting her.

"Correction, your mum says your not a singer. But frankly love, you're the best singer I've ever heard. You should join a band."

"That'll never happen."

....

Sunday // May 1970

Walking up the driveway of my massive house barefoot with my heels in my hand, my make up and hair a mess I knew I was in for it.

I accidentally fell asleep at Tana's last night and now it's 8am in the morning.

I walked in the house and shut the door behind me.

"MARGARET BEATRIX MCCULLUGH!" I heard my mum screech as the sound of her heels became louder and louder.

"God don't say my middle name." I cringed with my face scrunched up; a massive migraine was starting to take its toll on me.

"Where were you?" She shrieked once again; I'm starting to see stars with how bad my freaking headache is. It's way to bright in this house.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep at Tana's I should've called you it's my mistake I won't let it happen again."

One thing to know about me; when I'm in the wrong I apologise.

One thing to know about my mum; she throws my apology right back in my face and calls me immature.

"TANAS!" She started to trail behind me as I clumsily made my way up the stairs to my bedroom door. Once I reached the door I got an overwhelming feeling that I was about to vomit so I stopped for a moment to calm myself down.

I leaned my forehead against the cool marble that the whole house was made from to cool myself down.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU! NO GOING TO ROCK GLAM, NO DRINKING, NO KISSING RANDOM GIRLS OR BOYS."

She caught a glimpse at my notebook; purple velvet and green floral exterior. She knew exactly what it was and snatched it from my hand.

"Hey!-"

"AND NO MAKING SONGS. NO SINGING SONGS I TOLD YOU NOT TO SING OR WRITE THEY DIRTY LYRICS."

I snatched the book from her and held it right to my chest. This book was my lyrics, my ideas, my thoughts, feeling. My whole life.

"ITS CALLED ROCK MUM! Get with the times, it's the Beatles that are popular now, not fucking hymns." I snapped as I walked into my room. Before I got the chance to shut the door over she was already invading my space.

"I don't give a shit what it's called. Stop it okay! That part of your life is over. It's time to grow up and face reality. You are engaged-"

"I'm not marrying him you can fuck right off." I looked at her through my full length mirror as she walked up to me. Her expensive heels clicking against my flooring as she walked closer to me.

"You're an ungrateful human being you know that. I found you a man; a millionaire who can take care of you for life you won't have to work a day in your life-"

"Yeah that's what I'll do, I'll go right ahead and marry a man I don't marry so that I'll birth all his kids and be his perfect dumb trophy wife for life. You worked hard to get where you are, why can't I work hard in something I wane you do. I don't need a man to do that." I said smothered in sarcasm making my mother roll her eyes.

"You and your bloody pride. Here's the real world Margaret; a woman's purpose main purpose in life is to get married and as the bible preached, have children. You'll never be anything different." She spat.

"You're going to the Russel's household on Thursday morning for you to plan the wedding with your fiancé with a big bloody smile on your face you hear me?"

I chuckled softly as I walked up so our faces our almost touching; her Chanel No.5 tickling my nose.

"I'd love to see you try." I spat in her face. I suddenly gasped as her hand connected with my cheek forcing my face to the side as my cheek started to warm up almost instantly.

"I hate you, you're not my daughter you know! I should've aborted you when I had the chance you know that! If it killed me oh well, as long AS YOU WHERE NEVER BORN." She screamed in my face, she turned to leave my room to meet Greg leaning against the door frame.

"Are you okay Darling?" Greg asked my mum; his voice all sweet and soft making my scoff and roll my eyes.

She ignored him and left in anger.

"Would you get the fuck out of my room?!" I asked, his head snapped from watching my mum as she made her way down the landing and down the stairs to me.

"Seems you need to be put in your place a bit huh?" He asked as he walked up to me, so close to my face I could feel his breath hit my skin.

"I don't see the bad thing about being a trophy wife Sweets? You'd be a damn good one anyway."He chuckled as he looked at me up and down licking his lips. His hands were resting on my arse ready to give it a spank. A sudden spur of anger and confidence caused me to push him back.

"Touch me again and I swear I'll rip your tongue out."

"You don't have the guts." He simply said before leaving the room.

He's right I didn't have the guts, I didn't have the guts to go to the police and ruins my mother's career that she worked so hard for when it got out to the media that her husband is a child molester.

So Ive kept my mouth shut for years.

I feel hot years fill my eyes, I take a long deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down while looking up at the ceiling to try and stop the crying; I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

That's when I found myself packing a suitcase, grabbing my passport, some money I had. A couple of outfits to keep me going two or three weeks.

I grabbed my notebook, my Polaroid camera and my box full of Polaroid's and squashed it all into one massive suitcase.

I had to leave the rest so I could move quickly.

___

An hour later my family left to go out for lunch without me. I sat at the window and watched them leave.

I watched them get smaller smaller until eventually I couldn't seem them at all.

I would never see them again.

I grabbed my suitcase, grabbed the keys to my mums car and fucked off out of there with the intention of never returning again.

_____

I just had to put Harry Styles in there somewhere.

Sorry not sorry 🤪😩

#ben hardy #joe mazzello imagine #queen blurb #queen headcannon #queen imagines #queen fanfiction #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor #brian may #john deacon #bohemian rhapsody #borhap fanfic

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onemanzerosquad · 5 years

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New York Blackbeard Diary Pt. 3

Day 11.......Woke up.....Started my day getting breakfast then headed to my neurologist office to get my form from my job in regards to my restrictions. After, went to the library to print out documents in regards to a situation that led to someone purchasing something from a PayPal. Pretty much someone hacked into my PayPal and purchase a monthly subscription to watch a show smh. As I was heading to work, I thought about all of my problems and have decided to take care of all the problems. Feels like time is not on my side in my opinion and I can no longer deal with the bullshit no longer. As take care of the problems head on, I have no problem dealing with consequence even if my body limitations is at risk cause. I'm alone in this and that's no one fault cause everyone has their own problem to fix.

On on to the side story......2012.......

The new year started and I was in a long distance relationship. Unfortunately, It didnt last long. Obviously, communication was the cause of the problems. From there I was talking to girls got into a relationship but that didnt even last too. Then I saw her. Now I'm not gonna write her government name. So I'm gonna name her HopelessRomantic. Unlike every women I've been with physically, I actually found her online. I didn't expect her to give me a chance but she did. At first, we were back and forth breaking up and making up. Then mid year, she broke up with thru a inbox smh. She was right tho, I wasn't doing anything with my life and she felt I had no ambition. It's crazy because before she broke up with me, I wanted to let her know that I finally got a job lol. During that time til September, I was dating and talking to other women but at the same time trying to get back with HopelessRomantic. Then at one point, HopelessRomantic was going through a tough time. So I took an opportunity to help her out. I was making sure she was okay. Then one day there was a BWA (beach) reunion show and since I told HopelessRomatic about my backyard wrestling career, I invited her to the show. That day was interested as I got to see some of the guys even my first love and by the night, I brought her home and "Netflix and chill" happened lol. It was our first time doing something after 9 months of us knowing eachother. From that moment on we were back together but this time she trusted me and gave me another chance of love again. On to other things,in that year I started wrestling officially in BWA (Bronx). I had a chance to wrestle in RCW but I decided not to go. I knew I wasn't going to be comfortable there and plus the only people I would mostly trust would be the DIW wrestlers that I meant in 2011. Everyone else ehhhhh (the white boys weren't really there lol). BWA (Bronx) hands down was the best time of my backyard wrestling career. Holy Convictions Tag Team with Genocide, 4 aces, matches with Loco, Dixon, Dom The Don, my epic match against Gencocide that open everyone's eyes, and the match of the event of SuperShowDown (their Wrestlenania), against Joker. I had a epic time in the BWA (Bronx). Now back to HopelessRomantic. Our relationship was great. Our families liked us together, I got to see her often, I was working, the sex was great lol, and she even motivated me to actually go to college. The original plan was to go study Criminal Justice. Then December hit and after the hurricane, I came from chilling with a friend and HopelessRomantic send me a message on Facebook breaking up with me. There wasn't a particular reason. She wrote like an essay but it had nothing to do with me. I can only assume she wasn't interested anymore. So the year was heading to its end. So I decided to live it up with Black, Red, Green, and Blue Label with some 40s. Regardless of the break up, I still had good year.

Day 12.......Woke up and started my day with a cup of coffee. Went to my job to pick my check check my app to see how much since I started last week and today was pay week and apparently I got no pay listed on this week. So I can only assume my next check will make up for last week or something. Money is always with no value hard to get by but hey whatever. So went on my morning and TD Bank to fax the people apart of my dispute case and unfortunately the bank printing machine doesn't work doesn't work. So another Negative Nancy in the poison air of New York City. After work, I saw my Autismo crew (J God, Weirdo, and Porn Plug). Chopped it up a little bit and by the way F**K WWE 2K!!!!!

On on to the side story......2013......

2013 new year.....still working on and off. Surprisely, me and HopelessRomantic kept in contact regardless of the breakup. One day I brought her over just to chill. She got cozy which didn't bother cause she was single as was I. From what I remember, we were talking and it led to her being emotional and she was crying. So held her tight then boom......we had sex......The next day we were talking and I kinda express to her I wanted to get back together but she didn't want that. I actually cried but accepted and got over it. Probably like a month later, she got into a relationship with someone else which sucked even more. Other than that I signed up for a program that dealt with Digital Media and did well in the program. I was still working but not as much. My birthday but on that day I was sick (for about a week). After I healed, I started this new job that my guy Dirty Sandchez aka Eyevrows from Getaway hook me up with. It was an maintenance job. Did the job and all. July 4th hit and partying up drinking doing my thing. I woke up and got a call from HopelessRomantic letting me know that her Aunt passed. All I had was tears cause her aunt meant a lot The last time I talk to her was Mother's Day so the pain was more. I was mad and I played Dante's Inferno with anger. From morning til night, I beat the game. The one thing I notice alot that day was I had double vision that whole day. I would think that would be gone by the morning but it wasn't. After hanging out with my boy. I started to fall easily and constantly told I looked crossed eyed. By August my left leg felt like I or sprained it. August I finally hit the switch and started college. I was studying Mental Health/Domestic Violence Counseling. First semester went well. All As and 1 B. I even had my own little crew.

SIDE NOTE: One person in that crew ending up being my girlfriend (2016)

During the first semester I was still dealing with my health problems. Things got worse. My hands were so numb that I couldn't write. My double vision was there everyday and I had a hard time walking on my left leg. After going to the emergency room doing MRIs and Catscans and testing my strength with a group of neurologists and constantly hearing that I'm so young (I was 22), I saw a neurologist and he told me that I have Multiple Sclerosis.......

Day 13........Woke up, got ready, and speed walked to the bus stop to get to work. Unfortunately, I got a little late due to the bipolarness of the bus coming on schedule. When. I got to work, I couldn't punch in due to the app I punch in on couldn't connect to the server. After work, I went to see a friend that I haven't seen in quite some time and that was pretty much my day.

On on to the side story......2014.......

2014 came. I finally got my finally treatment after waiting for months for insurance reasons smh. I had to take it every week. I continued college by taking free classes inthe winter semester which was apart of Fall semester. As a result passed both classes with an A. From there my GPA was 3.6. With my education background with a learning disability, D equalivent grades, being in special ed classes, and receiving services due to my learning disability, for a guy with a incurable health condition that pretty much messes with your body depending on the central nervous system state, it was remarkable for something like that to happen. Spring semester hit and once again did my thing in classes, went on dates, and followed the routine of being on grind. Then the summer semester hit and I was offered to take a short summer class and I took it of course since it was free. That morning of first day of the class, I wanted to do the impossible and walked from my home to school (Albemarle and East 19 to Manhattan Beach). It took about 3 hours. Got to class on time and kind sat around or whatever. Some other people got inthe class and informed the professor that they were in the other classroom. For some odd reason I was more aware of a woman saying that then the others. Crazy cause that same woman ended up being my girlfriend by the end of September. We ain't saying government names. So her name for this post is Hermione (she likes Harry Potter). She had tattoos, smart, and she was honest for what I feel most of the time. Eventually the relationship didn't last and ended the same way.......a message. Her reasons made sense I guess (went too fast). Honestly I don't believe time should be a determining factor for a relationship to happen. If you feeling this person then give it a shot but that's just my opinion. Also, in 2014, I officially ended my backyard wrestling career against my friend, my brother, and my on screenplay rival Rodney Banks. It was the perfect ending to the legend that was called Heavy D.

Day 14.......Woke up. Gather some clothes and did some laundry. Sat outside for a little bit and headed back to the shelter and took a power nap. Woke up about 3 and watch One Piece Episode 901. I'm already current with the manga. So I'm basically watching what I already read. That was pretty much my Sunday. Plus I need all the rest for the upcoming days of this week. I gotta say, I'm slowly getting myself together to the point that people inthe shelter are noticing me more as hardworking individual. I'm always on the move and that's being notice and respected by people in the shelter.

On on to the tragic side story......2015

2015 started off okay. Winter semester was a success. I saw Hermione. But I didnt really give her attention after the break up but after we talked, we became friends and that was it nothing more. Spring semester came and I did my thing again and lived the college life but got a job. So now I'm get on my grind and officially had no time for much. Summer was here and my mother was working getting her passport to go back to Jamaica and see her family after years. One time I came from work and as usual expected my mother to be home since she doesn't like to be out late. She nevered came home which was extremely alarming. Call the police and I was informed that she was in the hospital in the city. Got to the hospital and use the phone to locate and she was in the 3rd floor ICU. I didn't know what ICU meant at that time but I knew it was something bad. Got to the ICU and saw my mother........Hospital covered with a bandage on her head as if someone bash a metal bat on her head. Come to find out, she had a seizure and fell on head in the street very hard. I was in tears. All I can remember was that the last time I saw her she told me that she was heading out. My mind was wtf like this ain't real. Called everyone I can call and every got the news that my mother was inthe hospital. She eventually got transfer to a rehab center in Far Rockaway Queens. Things seem to be okay. Then I come home from a hard day at home and I get phone call from a friend informing me that something happened and my younger brother didn't sound okay on the phone. Went to the hospital my mother was sent to. Her eyes was closed. Next couple of days saw her as the machine was helping her breath not responding or reacting inthe room. The doctor spoke to me and younger brother and pretty much said there a very little chance they can help. By October 12th. My younger brother called me and informed me that our mother died........

Day 15......Woke up.....Had to skip gym again. I had to get my mail and sent some emails. After, I went straight to work. After work, I happen to see a face I haven't seen in quite some time and we actually introduce our names after knowing each other for years. It's kind of cool knowing someone and finally just engaging in a conversation (just regularly). Then mailed my my money order to this One Shot Deal that I owe money to unfortunately. While on my way back to the shelter, I started thinking.....now knowing that just about everyone knows that I have Multiple Sclerosis......Hawk's Eye will be on me and my refusals from any assistance will make things a little more tough and edgier. So at this point, I have to be smart on everything I do. But I'm sure I'll get through this someway.

On on to 2016.......

2016 was here. After a hard 2015, I was able to keep the home, still work, made sure my health was good and survived a hard semester. I made the impossible possible. On the other hand, things were different. I started living somewhat a independent free life. I went to school, work, and party on the weekends. I was even going to the strip clubs and bars just living it up with my people. Eventually, I had this feeling like I needed to be what I was and I felt it was time to look for love again and I found it. No government names revealed. So her name was SoReal lol. I knew her since I started college (2013). We kept in contact and eventually we got together in July. It was love again. I haven't felt this type of love since my first relationship. She was smart, hardworking, and very determined to finish college. I was in love. When she felt she needed me, I was ready to help. We went on multiple dates. We talked all the time and we expressed that we loved each other. Other than love, I GRADUATED FROM KINGSBORO WITH AN ASSOCIATES!!!!! By September, I was city bound at City College. By the fall semester thing weren't good between me and SoReal. She distanced herself from me and with that I got less focus on school. Our relationship was so back and forth. When December hit, I got a letter from the landlord informing me that I must pay 3500 dollars in two weeks or I get evicted. So rent is not really being paid by my roommate, I'm barely getting thru college, and my relationship is a mess. As a result, I was still in relationship surprisingly, I pass my classes (barely), and I had to ask for assistance from this service called the One Shot Deal (where your whole rent is paid off but you got to pay back the money that was covered. 2017......would finally bring me to the limit.....

Not everything was meant to be......

Jikai........One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2017 The Fall Of A Headliner

Mad King Recharging Arc

#sheltersystem #shelter #newyorkminute #thepastisthepast #impeldown #muken

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bobshollyworld-blog · 6 years

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Weekly Roundup #4

Happy Monday, everyone! I told myself that I wouldn't hunt as hard this week as I did the week previously, and wouldn't you know it... I failed. 😫 I failed hard. I failed so hard. I didn't mean to get carried away, but I saw one thing that I liked and then another that I could use for project A, and then I couldn't get this without also getting that. You know how it goes. This week's haul was massive. Thirty-six, count 'em, THIRTY-FUCKING-SIX figures in what is the largest bounty so far. ost of them were in multipacks, but that just means I got more bang for my buck. I also got a few things that aren't figures this week as well. That's rare for me, I know, but when yer crafting a tiny plastic world of imagination, you need to, you know, actually craft that world. That's enough of the jibber-jabber; let's check out the haul for Weekly Roundup #4:

First up, we have a single loose figure. He's some sort of knight, judging from his armour, and I'm going to use him as a background piece. He's cool looking. No articulation other than his axe that goes up and down in his hands, but since he won't be the focus of any scenery, he's not hindered by his limitations. This is a Schleich figure, and is probably the only one I've ever owned.

What year is it? 2018? Then why do I keep buying twenty year old toys? Because they're my heart and soul, that's why. I actually already own a Black Cat, loose out of the package, which I bought eight or so years ago. She came in her packaging, so I have all her accessories and everything. I didn't buy these off of eBay for Black Cat. No, I bought this lot simply for the Jessica Drew Spider-Woman. I have this same figure, but the dark blue and white Julia Carpenter version. I don't know if I've mentioned it previously, but I'm not a fan of Spider-Man AT ALL, but I own more of his action figures than any other character. That collection includes his allies and villains, of which this is my second Jessica Drew figure, with the other being an older Marvel Legends figure. I'll likely resell the Black Cats just to free up space.

I'm not super pressed on these WWE zombies, but I told myself that I would buy all of the third wave so I can make an awesome Halloween diorama. I would've waited until closer to that holiday to scoop them up, because Five Below has a healthy stock of them, but as you can tell from the photo these were on clearance at Target. Sure, I only saved a wee bit over a dollar for each figure, but that's three plus dollars that can go towards something more important. I'm only missing one of the set of six and that's the 'Phenomenal One'. I'll own him soon enough and I'll get started on that diorama.

Here's that bit of random that I have to get every week. I saw these little toilets in Five Below one day when I was with my kids, but they were five bucks a piece, and the way my wallet is set up... Let's just say that they stayed where I saw them. Then I saw more at a different store, and they were cheaper, but I couldn't justify the price still. When I saw them in Target on clearance, I grabbed two. I don't know if that's enough. I bought them simply to set up some bathroom scenery. Their for 5"/6" figures, so my new favourite childeen won't get to experience them, but you can't have yer cake and eat it too. The Ready Player One figures were bought at FYE, for dumb cheap. For those not familiar with the slang, in this case "dumb cheap" translates to just over two bucks for them. I had been eyeing them in Target for a few weeks, because they're 1:18 scale and they're not what most people collect, but they were too much at Target, even after they hit clearance. I'm glad I saw them when and where I did. I scooped them right up.

I was trying to post these photos from least excited about to most excited about, and to a certain extent I've succeeded at that, but I'm actually very excited about this lot. They were all bought at Collectors Corner, as was most of the remaining items. I bought both the Mace and Lando as potential fodder for modifications to the Rage I bought a few weeks ago. Sadly, I couldn't get Lando's head off, and Mace's didn't fit onto Rage's body, so I still at the drawing board with Rage. They're cool figures. The Lando is probably my second or third favourite figure that I bought this week. He's damn cool. Lieutenant Yar was just a random purchase. I have some ideas for her, but we'll see.

So here's the thing: you can't collect 3.75" figures without at least getting a whiff of G.I. Joe. That brand is inarguably the one that made the 1:18 scale line what it is. With that being said, Joes are dumb expensive. Like, really bloody expensive. And they're hard to find in the wild. That's why lines like Lanard's The Corps, which has been riding the wave of Hasbro's Joes almost since the beginning, is an excellent fill-in. The two three-packs of figures weren't even twelve bucks. I'm not sure right now, but I don't even think they were ten bucks total. That's insane. Then there's the US Army figures. I didn't even care too much about them, but I wanted their accessories and setting. They'll blend in perfectly with the other soldiers.

We're getting down to the nitty gritty here. Fun fact: I've never typed the phrase 'nitty gritty' in my phone prior to the previous sentence, but auto correct knew that that was what I was going for after only typing in the first word. I digress. If you've been paying attention to the way I do the photos, I typically keep DC figures with their brand, and I do the same for Marvel. This week I've got a healthy amount of each, and I wasn't entirely sure which brand deserved to go on last. Ultimately, I went with Marvel because of volume. Simple as that. Now that that's out of the way, I would like to add that these DC offerings are fine figures. The Hawkman is fantastic. As the same with all the DC figures I've bought, I notice that they lack the same size and articulation as Marvel, but that doesn't stop them from being good toys. Hawkman looks cool in animated form. I honestly can't imagine him being in a more realistic sculpt. By the way, everything in this photo is from Collectors Corner. The last time I was there, there were three of the Green Lantern film two-packs, but this time there were only the two. I honestly only went back to pick up all three. The other characters were Kilowag and Ranakar. I'm disappointed that I missed out on him, but I'll get him eventually, along with some other Lantern Corps members.

Another thing Collectors Corner had an abundance of the first time I went was 3.75" Thor-related characters. Last time I picked up a bunch, but they also had multiple actually Thors that I didn't pick up because I didn't really like the look of Chris Hemsworth. They didn't have any this time, although I had decided to buy them if they had. While I was searching high and low for Kilowag, I came across most of what you see in this photo buried at the bottom of the bin they were in. The Spider-Men are meh, but the Lokis are amazing, and the Daredevil is the best figure I got this week. He actually was on a peg, so he was easier to find. The Spider-Man Homecoming two-pack was found at TJ Maxx, and what a find it was. There were three of them, and I was contemplating getting at least one more but decided against it. I haven't seen that film, but the suit Spidey is rocking is fucking sexy. Vulture is Vulture, and he's cool, too, but I was more impressed with the Spider-Man. It's crazy; although I don't care about Spider-Man, he's still managed to be the most numerous figure in my quickly growth 1:18 scale universe.

Well, there you have it folks. Another week, a other crazy, THRIFTY haul. I'm proud of myself, and I mean it this time when I say next week I'm going to take it easy on the figures. I'll be super busy with work so I won't have any time for figure hunting. 😉. Have a good week, y'all.

-Bob Hollywood, 6 August, 2018

#marvel #dc comics #3.75 inch action figures #5 inch action figures #weekly roundup #marvel universe #marvel infinite #star wars #90s action figures #schleich

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