#welcome to sunni’s weird shower thoughts trolls fandom

[bitchapalooza]

Trolls just straight up being hallucinogenic is my new favorite headcanon. Imagine post Trolls 1 someone starts the rumor that you don’t even need to eat trolls to feel the effects, you just gotta lick em and you’ll feel happy. Say a troll just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, he’s come to Bergen Town to deliver a package to Gristle and Bridget, and this teenager decides right then and there he was gonna stupidly prove this rumor right— he swoops the delivery troll up and licks him. And boy did this kid feel the high right off the bat. Not as strong as eating would do it though.

A few weeks later, a town meeting is called. Gristle just tiredly stands at the podium, head in his hands as he speaks to his people, “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but guys. Please don’t… don’t lick trolls, you guys. This is something I seriously shouldn’t be saying yet here I am! Saying it right now! We JUST signed a peace treaty with these guys four months ago— That delivery troll and his kids are all in quarantine lock down at our hospital because someone gave that troll the Bergen flu and it’s spread to his children. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE—”

“Ooookay! Awesome speech, Gristle! Hello, Bergen Town. It’s me, Queen Poppy. On behalf of Troll Village, I’d like to just say please don’t lick us, we don’t like that. It’s weird. Some would even say it’s worse than being eaten. If you wanna feel the effects of our psychedelic effects, just go in the woods and find a psychedelic mushroom, it’ll give you the same auditory and visual hallucinations. Pff, we trolls eat them like aaaalll the time, it’s a regular part of our diet and… *whispering* Oh. Wait don’t say that? Bergens can’t have those mushrooms because they’re very dangerous in its purest form? *talking louder* Okay, I’ve just been informed that you should NOT seek out those psychedelic mushrooms because they actually cause various digestive health issues and it’s very easy for you guys to overdose of shrooms. So don’t do that. And don’t lick us. It’s nasty and scary. Just… eat some candy, you weirdos.”