#weird time to be posting this but hope it serves as a slight reprieve from the insanity of the last 12ish hours lol

[dandp]

Final Incophearent Update

This post includes all previously promised info, including pictures, the PDF of the cards, and the reaction from Dan and Phil! (under a cut bc there's a lot)

Dan and Phil's reaction:

The deck was successfully gifted to them by @mothmanbussy420! Here's the clip and transcript of them receiving it (with a very promising initial reaction from Dan 👀):

Mint: This is a Dan and Phil-themed set of Incohearent cards —

Dan: Oh fuck yeah.

Phil: Wow!

Mint: — that a bunch of - like 50 people online submitted to.

Dan: Oh great, that's a Youtube video right there.

Phil: That's incredible (?)

Getting a Deck For Yourself:

This Google Drive includes a spreadsheet of all the info on the cards, as well as a PDF file that can be printed at home and all the additional files/instructions needed if you want to get a deck professionally printed. Hope you enjoy!

Pictures of the Deck:

Massive shoutout to @mothmanbussy420 who took the pictures and put together the Google Drive; they are the real MVP of this post. I also wanted to shout out one more time my other fellow project mods @fletthewreck @steveandscraggy and everyone else who submitted to the deck; it's been so fun to work on this and see everything come together and I hope everyone's as happy with the final product as I am!

[backtothestart02]

If Only She Knew - 2/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Finally, it is here!

Commissioned by @andromidagalaxie. I hope you all enjoy!

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing.

(Read chapter 1 here.)

...

Synopsis: HS!AU - Barry, Joe and Iris go camping the year Barry hits puberty.

...

Chapter 2 -

Barry had never been as still in all his life as he was right now, with Iris’ head on his shoulder and the back of her hand against his knee, and him hardly daring to breathe if she moved either any further.

The fact was, it was happening again. He was getting a boner.

He’d been getting them the last few weeks – not just around Iris, around other girls too, and at super inconvenient times, but especially when Iris was present. He’d taken to wearing extra-long t-shirts and baggy pants until Iris took note and questioned his fashion. Then she’d tried to take him shopping, and he absolutely put his foot down to that. He’d never be able to hide it then.

How Joe hadn’t caught on to his increasing anxiety over this new dilemma never ceased to exasperate him. How could he not know?

Or maybe he did know, and he just wasn’t saying anything.

Nah, Joe wouldn’t be that cruel, Barry thought confidently.

But his inward grin started to fade as his self-assurance wavered, and he grew wary of Joe’s true intentions.

“Hey, you two ready to get something to eat?” Joe asked, loud enough to rouse Iris from her sleep, but not too loud that she would complain about it.

“Mm, yes,” she said, nuzzling into Barry’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around his beside her. “Pancakes, please.”

Joe shifted his gaze to Barry’s extremely pale one in the rearview mirror.

“What about you, Bear?”

“I’m good,” he said, appetite gone, though his stomach would probably say otherwise.

“You like pancakes too, remember?” Iris mumbled against his shirt.

“Oh. That’s…you’re right, Iris. I do like pancakes.”

“Blueberry ones,” she reminded him.

“Mhmm, blueberry ones,” he said, more to get her to stop talking than because he remembered.

Meanwhile, Joe was still eyeing him suspiciously in the mirror.

“So… Mama Bear’s Diner?”

“Yessss,” Iris slurred.

“Sounds good,” Barry forced.

Joe stared a few moments more and then focused back on the road.

“We should be there in roughly twenty minutes.”

…

Mama Bear’s Breakfast Diner served only breakfast all day, every day. But it was tradition to stop there on the way to and from the campsite every year, no matter what time of day it was. No one refused. Barry would die for their pancakes, Joe would do just about anything for their scrambled eggs, and Iris was a glutton for the French toast and muffins.

From the outside, the diner looked like a normal house, but on the inside, it was a log cabin of the coziest sort. There were always tulips planted and a slightly moving white rocking chair on the white-painted porch by entrance. Which was kind of creepy now that Barry thought about it. He wondered if he should tell Iris about that observation. He turned to see her a few steps behind him, swinging her arms in an effort to let momentum catch up with him. Joe was behind her, apparently oblivious to all things. Barry wished he wasn’t.

“Hold up, Barry! You’re going too fast!”

Since she was out of breath, Barry slowed down a hair and, as expected, Iris was then not only able to match his pace but also loop her arm through his the way she had in the car.

She was so darn affectionate. And he loved that about her. But he hated this puberty thing, because now every little thing she did – a look, a touch – if it was directed at him, the normally dormant length of flesh in his underwear came to life. Somehow, Iris hadn’t noticed that fact yet, but it was only a matter of time until she did. Every moment he was preparing himself for the utter humiliation.

Three steps up to the peeling white-painted porch and they were inside.

It was the perfect temperature, as it tended to be, with air conditioning circling and spreading through the restaurant, even as the real fireplace warmed the far side of the restaurant. A small area was bare of table and chairs for the live music that came on Friday nights, and every single member had a red-and-white checkered shirt on that reminded Barry of a picnic tablecloth.

He liked it, though. He liked this place. And Iris, of course, was right. He was practically salivating already at the thought of consuming a couple stacks of their blueberry pancakes with whipped cream.

“I love it here.” Iris sighed dreamily, looking about the place as if she’d never seen it before. “We’ll have to come home on Friday night, so we can stop here along the way and listen to the live music.” She spun around to Joe. “Please, Dad? Please, please, please?”

She pulled out her batting eyelashes and pouty lips, and Barry knew Joe wouldn’t be able to resist. Who could say no to Iris when she knew exactly how to make you putty in her hands?

To Joe’s credit, he gave a valiant effort.

“But what about the fireworks on Saturday night, honey? You love those.”

“Can’t we do both?”

Joe chuckled nervously.

“This diner is much closer to home than it is to the campsite. You’d hate all the driving.”

Her eyes lit up as an idea came to her. “Barry could drive!”

And that was when Barry knew he was in hell.

Joe’s gaze shifted to his, making matters worse.

“All you’d have to do was be in the car, Dad. You can even sleep!”

Alarmed, Barry’s eyes widened, and he stared at her.

“I’ve only had my permit a week, Iris!”

She frowned and turned to look at him. Apparently, Joe was getting a kick out of it.

“If Barry’s okay with it, I’m okay with it.”

Barry’s mouth fell open.

“Please, Barry, pleeeease.” She intertwined her fingers in a folded hands stance as she pleaded, accompanying it with those beautiful batting eyelashes and perfect pouting lips. She got closer and closer the longer he stayed silent.

“Iris…”

“Please, Barry, I’ll do anything you want.”

That made him blush.

“Within reason, of course.”

He cleared his throat. “Of course.”

“Of course?” Her eyes lit up happily. “Of course!” She jumped into his arms.

“Wait, Iris, no-”

“Daddy, he said of course!” She turned and hugged her dad too.

“Iris, I didn’t mean-”

“That’s great, sweetheart,” Joe said, grinning.

Iris was still jumping up and down when the host appeared.

“What’s the occasion?” the woman asked.

“Barry’s bringing us back for the live music on Friday!”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, that’s wonderful.” She looked around to see where Barry was and saw Joe pointing in his direction, while Barry himself looked not very pleased at his current predicament.

She quietly laughed to herself.

“We have a great country band coming this Friday,” the host added. “They’ll have you dancing in no time.”

“Dancing,” Iris said, mesmerized as she and the two guys who’d come with her followed the host to their seats.

Barry was frowning in a confused manner because he couldn’t remember Iris ever liking country music.

Joe was frowning because he hated it.

…

At approximately 4 p.m. that afternoon, the West/Allen family made it to the Lake Muna campground.

The lake could be seen only from Iris and Joe’s side of the car, so Barry was given a brief reprieve from her snuggles. Still, he did miss her warmth, and he did want to see the lake through all the trees surrounding them on the dirt road.

“Oh, Daddy, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Iris swooned.

“Mhmm,” Joe agreed. “Should make for some good fishing too.”

Iris rolled her eyes, then looked behind her.

“Barry, what do you think abou-” She frowned. “What are you doing all the way over there? Don’t you want to see the lake better?”

“Uh…” His mouth went dry. “My… My seatbelt won’t reach.” He blushed fiercely.

“You’re so weird, Barry,” she said and climbed over to him to unbuckle his belt. “C’mon.”

He looked to Joe once to see if he’d interject but got nothing from that sector, despite him being a cop who should care about things like seatbelts being taken off when the car was still in motion.

So, he crawled across the seat with Iris and looked out the window. He kneeled on the floor so his lap couldn’t be presented to Iris where she sat on the seat, but once he’d calmed himself down enough to assure there wouldn’t be any unfortunate incidents due to him moving across the seat, he was glad that he did.

The view was breathtaking.

“See? Aren’t you glad you broke that silly law?” She giggled, ignoring her Dad’s slight glare in the rearview mirror.

Barry ignored it too, for his own sanity, and only nodded.

“It’s beautiful.”

Iris sighed contently and leaned her face against the side of the window.

“This is going to be the best year ever.”

He smiled, then turned to look at her, lost in the view of the lake. Barry was lost in her and completely oblivious to if Joe was catching the moment or not.

“I’ll be right back,” Joe said, coming to a stop in the parking lot, so he could go in and confirm their reservation.

He took one step outside of the car and cursed.

Barry and Iris’ moment was broken, and they turned to see what was wrong.

“We may have a bit of a problem, kids.” Joe pressed his fingers to his creased brow.

“What is it, Dad?” Iris asked, Barry following her out of the car.

They didn’t know how, but one of the tents had gotten caught and torn. It would be no good to any of them, even if they wanted to duct tape the tears back together. Joe knew full well the tents for purchase were three times the price they were back home. Troubled, he contemplated a solution.

“Well, I guess there’s only one solution here,” Joe said.

The two turned to look at him.

“What’s that?” Iris asked.

Barry was afraid to breathe.

“You two will have to share a tent. You can have mine. I’ll take the smaller one.”

Barry paled, horrified.

Iris, as per usual, was thrilled.

...

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.