#weird emotions tonight been crying over the dumbest things

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

I wish I had cat ears and a tail and I think it’s homophobic that I don’t

[scarofthewind]

The Lost Boys (1987) || Always

A/N: I gave up on my homework for the night because I had this idea in my head. Anyway, I am going to write some trash that no one will read or like for tonight and then worry about my future like always. Hope you enjoy.                                               _______________

What they are self-conscious about as vampires 

MARKO: Everyday that you were with Marko, only made you realize that he didn’t touch you like how normal couples did. He never had a hand on your knee or an arm around your shoulder. He barely even kissed you for longer than a second. For a while you thought that maybe he was just shy but that thought was tossed when you had tried to snuggle close to him during a movie and he moved away. You ended up making an excuse to leave the date early. You were hurt that he felt he couldn’t touch you or be normal around you and you wanted to know why. So, you cornered him. 

Being a vampire was useful to catch things before it happened, however, Marko did not expect you to grab him by the collar and drag him away from the others to give him the longest argument you two had ever been in. 

“It’s a very simple answer, Marko.”

“No it’s not!” He replied, rubbing his face with his hands. “It’s not even that big of a deal!” He shut his mouth seeing your reaction to his words. 

“Of course it’s a big deal. You don’t touch me at all Marko. It’s like I’ve got the plague or something. No holding hands, no kissing, no having you close to me. It’s distancing and I hate it.” Marko knew it would eventually get to you. He hated himself for it; but he hated making you uncomfortable even more. 

“I’m dead, (Y/N).” He answered, catching you off guard. 

You waited a moment before replying, “I am well aware of that, where is this going?” You crossed your arms over your chest and watched as he sat down across from you. 

“I don’t produce heat. I’m literally cold to the touch and the first time I touched your hand you pulled away.” Marko cleared his throat and you finally understand. “I thought I made you uncomfortable so I told myself that I wouldn’t touch you.” 

“But then you overthought it, didn’t you?” You asked, sitting down with him and reaching out to move some curls of hair from is forehead. 

He nodded, “I began to realize that I couldn’t be useful whenever it’s cold. Waking up next to you first thing in the morning would be miserable. No warmth. Just....cold.” His eyes stayed looking at the ground and you shook your head. 

“I love you, Marko. I always will and nothing with change that.” You watched as he smiled softly and you kissed him. “But you are the dumbest person I’ve ever met.” You grabbed his hands and placed them on your face, cupping your cheeks. Marko flinched at first, worried he might feel like ice against your warm skin, but eventually his fingers traces your cheekbones and other features; his thumb touching your bottom lip before he pulled you close. 

DWAYNE: You stomped around your house all day long waiting for a reasonable explanation as to why your lover hadn’t come to see you yet. You and Dwayne had dinner dates planned once every week and this wasn’t the first time he’d missed one. You stuffed the cold food you’d made into the trash, watching as a beam of light made its way to your driveway. Scoffing, you shook your head and closed the kitchen curtains, turning your back on the man who was getting off his motorcycle when you opened the front door. 

“I have an explanation-”

“Four hours, seventeen minutes and twenty-three seconds.” You checked your watch and then stared at him, arms crossed. “You have no reason to be late. Again.”

“I do and if you let me explain, then I will tell you.” He sighed, walking up to you.

“I’m tired of excuses Dwayne. If you don’t want to do these things anymore than we don’t have to.” You sighed, moving out of the doorway and into the house; Dwayne hot on your tail. 

“That’s not at all what I want.” He panicked, shutting the door behind him and following you through the house. “I was helping-”

“The boys? With some ‘stuff’.” You quoted him, watching his hands curl into fists in defeat. “Are you seeing someone else?” You asked, your chest aching at the thought. 

“God no! I would never do that to you!” He replied, moving closer to you and cupping your face in his hands. 

“Then why are you standing me up?” You stared up at him and watched as his face twisted in discomfort. You realized that it might be more serious than you had imagined. “I love you,” You said, lightly touching his hands. “Whatever is going on, you can tell me.”

Dwayne searched your face for a moment before nodding, “I can’t eat normal food, which you know. I am grateful for these nights where you let me feed off of you but,” the boy sighed, taking his hands away from your face and running a hand through his long hair. “It’s not enough.”

“Then take more.” You offered.

“Absolutely not. I can barely control myself as it is to pull away when I am slightly satisfied.” Dwayne moved to sit on the armrest of the sofa and you sat next to him on the cushion. Placing a hand on his arm you get him to look at you. “I’m worried that you won’t want me if you ever saw how I eat. I get ugly in the face and I become unstoppable when hungry enough. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

Shaking your head you move to kiss is cheek. “I have never been afraid of you and I will never be.” Dwayne smiles softly and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. “But maybe talk to me about it next time, don’t hold it in until we fight.” You pinched his cheek and he laughed, pressing is lips against yours. 

PAUL: The rain was drowning the flowers you had just planted outside the other day. You watched from your kitchen window as the rain came down so hard, you couldn’t see past your front gate. With a sigh, you finished the dishes and went to the living room, nearly screaming when Paul came around the corner with a smirk on his face. 

“Did I scare you?” He chuckled and you swatted at him. 

“You are completely soaked! Don’t stand on my rug I just vacuumed it!” You pushed him off to the bathroom to let him change. 

“I finally have time to see you and you don’t even give me a welcome home kiss? That’s harsh (Y/N).” He commented from the bathroom as you flopped down on your bed. You stared at the ceiling, a weird feeling drowning out his idle talk. 

“What’s wrong?” Paul asked, appearing above you, his eyes held a tint of worry. Reaching up, you pushed you hands through his hair to get it out of his face. 

“I should be asking you that. You aren’t feeling well right now are you?” You knew Paul was never one to express his emotions out in the open, but by the look deep in his eyes, he was about to crack. 

“I noticed it a few weeks ago.” You answered his question as to how you managed to guess that something was wrong. He thought he did a good job covering it up. “You can tell me, Paul. Being in touch with your emotions isn’t-”

“Stop.” His voice wavered as he moved away from you. “I should just head back.” You watched as his fingers twitched and his hands shook. This was hard for him. But it was also hard for you. You missed his normal attitude, his touches and kisses. He was growing weary of something and you had a pretty good idea of what it was. Sitting up, you dangled your feet off the edge of the bed and found yourself looking out the window. 

“I’m sorry you think you have to do this by yourself.” Paul looked at you from the doorway of the bedroom. All it took was seeing tears falling from your eyes and he broke. “Am I wasting my time with you?” You asked, watching as he closed his mouth, jaw clenching tightly. “Were all my friends right in saying that you will never love me as much as I love you?” 

“(Y/N)-”

“If you can’t tell me what’s going on then why bother? You clearly don’t feel comfortable enough with me that you will talk to me.” 

“That’s not true!” He argued, stepping closer to you.

“Then tell me what it is!” You yelled back. 

“I’m scared of losing you!” Paul snapped, his chest heaving and his voice cracking. He was too close to crying for his own comfort. 

“What do you mean?” You asked calmly. 

“Whenever I think of the future, I know I will always be this way.” He motioned to his body meaning he wouldn’t change physically. “I won’t age, but I will have to watch you grow old without me. Watching you die will kill me.”

You hugged him. 

“You can’t think about the future and let it bother you. Think of what we are now.” You looked up at him and cupped his face. “I can’t lie and say that I have never thought of it either, but I am with you now and to me that’s all that matters.” 

“I’m sorry.” Paul rested his forehead against yours and pulled you against him. “I never wanted to turn you so bad in my life when I thought about what could happen. I want to be with you forever.”

You smiled, “Who knows, maybe I will let you in the near future.” Paul smiled back and pressed his lips to yours. 

“Your friends really say that about me?” He asked and you laughed, nodding. “You know I love you right?” He replied.

“I do.” You nodded again, watching as a familiar smirk crossed his lips. 

“I think this calls for feel-better sex.” He earned a smack on the head for that. 

DAVID: “What’s wrong?” Your fingers grace over your lover’s chest, before reaching up and playing the ends of his hair. David looks down at you and raises an eyebrow, his fingers rubbing small circles on your back. 

“Why do you ask?” You moved to lay on him, keeping the bed sheet that entangled around the both of you, covering your bodies. You placed your hands on his chest and rest your head on them. 

“You have that far away look in your eyes. You only get that when you’re deep in thought.” David hummed in response, his smile fading away. “Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” You responded with a smirk.

David chuckled and cupped your face in his hands, pulling you close and kissing you. “Do you know how much I love the sun.” You raised an eyebrow and he continued, “Before I turned, I was always outside, during the day more than at night. But then when I became a vampire, that was taken away. If I so much as watched the sun rise I’d burn to dust.”

You watched him quietly, gently stroking his cheek. “I miss that. Walking along the beach and letting the warmth tan my pale ass.” You laughed a bit and he smiled. 

“It got worse when I met you; that craving for being outside during the day.” You felt everything he was saying. It did bother you that you couldn’t actually go out and do things with him during the day. 

“I want to spoil you more, but I can’t if all the time we get is at night. I want to be with you in the day, walking along the boardwalk and going out.” David sat up a bit, pulling you up with him and pulling you close. 

“I want to see the sunlight on your skin.” David pressed his forehead against yours. “I don’t want you to think that you can find someone better because I can’t be with you during the day.”

Shaking your head, you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m not going to leave you over something that ridiculous. I mean sure, I would love all of that, but I am fine watching the sun rise from here with you.” The cave had the most excellent view.

David smiled and pressed his lips against yours. “I love you. I’m going to find a way to walk you along the beach during the day, I promise.”

“I love you too.” You giggled, kissing him again, “I’m fine with things the way they are. But I look forward to that day.” David groaned and pushed you down, laying on top of you. “Even though you're dead, you are super heavy!” You laugh and he chuckles from above you. 

[darkkitsuneprincess]

I Love You, Dummy - Part 1 [Yukimura x MC (Mai)]

First: 220 FOLLOWERS!!! OMG!!! YOU GUYS ROCK SO HARD!!! 

Second, somebody mentioned one day last week that there’s not enough Yuki content and I happen to agree. Since the rest of these fools still aren’t talking to me, I went back to this silliness. Yukimura is such an idiot and I adore him. Part 2 will be along shortly, will be full of more fluff, and may or may not be NSFW.

Title: I Love You, Dummy Pairing: Yukimura x MC (Mai) Rating: F (for Fluff) Warnings: Idiots in love. The dumbest angst ever angsted. Tooth-rotting sweetness. Description: Something is up with Yukimura. He’s been avoiding Mai for days. Kenshin spoils the surprise and romantic shenanigans ensue. People Who Need Tagging:  @choi-jiyu @nad-zeta -- hit me up if you want me to add you.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Whatever it was, it had been bothering him for days. From the minute we arrived at Kasugayama, it was like a switch had flipped and my adoringly-sweet-yet-m oderately-awkward boyfriend became a totally different person. I wondered if I’d inadvertently said or done something to upset him on the trip in, but I couldn’t think of a thing. And since we arrived, I’d barely even seen him.

He hadn’t mentioned it. Hadn’t said anything at all, as a matter of fact. It wasn’t like Yukimura to not speak at all. He always had something to say, even if it was just snark. But the fact that he’d not only not talked to me, but gone out of his way to avoid me told me something was definitely up…

…which was exactly why I was standing in the garden with Shingen, waiting for him to answer my question.

“He was so excited to come back to Kasugayama for the festival,” I added after explaining my dilemma to Yukimura’s surrogate father. “But since we got here, he’s been so…weird. I mean, he’s always an awkward idiot, but this goes way beyond that.”

“If there were a problem, surely Yuki would come to you first,” Shingen told me after several long, agonizing moments of pretending to ponder my question. I could see the lie in his eyes. Shingen knew something. I mean, he was only feudal Japan’s greatest master of information…second maybe to Mitsuhide…so I knew he knew what was going on. And he knew that I knew that he knew. I could see that too. I hadn’t spent the last year with these knuckleheads without learning how to read them the same way they did me.

“Okay,” I responded with a curt nod. “If you don’t want to tell me, fine.”

I turned and left, ignoring Shingen’s calls for me to come back. He might not be willing to help me, but I knew there was one person in Kasugayama who would.

***

“I would, but you know the saying—bros before—”

“I would not finish that statement if I were you, Sasuke. He may be your bro, but I am certainly not the other.” My moderately awesome ninja friend swallowed with an audible gulp and took two steps back from me. I didn’t blame him; if I looked anything like I felt, then I looked like I wanted to wring his neck. “This routine is starting to get old, you know. Yukimura hasn’t said a word to me in three days. He’s avoiding me since we got here. He didn’t come to bed last night until…well, I don’t know when, and he was gone again when I woke up. Shingen is being his usual, obnoxious self, and even you aren’t willing to tell me what’s going on even though despite your weak facial muscles, you have a terrible poker face!” I threw my hands up in the air and groaned. “If I wanted to be left in the dark with everyone I know plotting against me, I’d have just stayed in Azuchi!”

“Mai…”

“NO.” I held up a hand. “You’re not going to betray Yukimura’s confidence and I don’t want to hear anymore excuses. You tell that idiot that when he’s ready to apologize for being such a moron, he can come find me. I might still be here.”

My voice cracked on the last word right alongside my heart and for the second time that day, I stormed away from one of my friends, though this time I did it so nobody would see me cry.

***

If I’d thought for one second someone might find me hiding behind a sakura tree in the most remote, well-hidden corner of the garden, I wouldn’t have gone there to have my little pity party. And if I had thought someone would find me, I certainly wouldn’t have expected it to be who it was.

“This is why I find women so tiresome,” Kenshin said, scaring a shriek out of me. I’d been so absorbed in my own silliness and the absurd plot to steal a horse and ride back to Azuchi to be with the other half of my Sengoku family that I hadn’t even heard him approach. I wiped my face on my sleeve and looked up to find a hard scowl marring the ethereal beauty of his face. Those mismatched eyes, though… they were full of concern.

“Sorry to bother you, Kenshin,” I said through my sniffles. “I’ll just go.” I started to rise but he placed a cold hand on top of my head.

“Stay,” he said, his touch softening as he stroked my hair with almost brotherly affection. “You are clearly upset about something and came here to hide.”

“I did.”

He surprised me by sitting down beside me. I’d grown used to his weird mood swings even if I’d not grown entirely used to the man himself. Even in repose, Kenshin was still the most intimidating thing I’d ever seen. Disarmingly beautiful…but decidedly lethal. I knew full well he could take my head from my shoulders if the spirit moved him to and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I’d already be dead before I could even think to react.

“I assume the cause of your distress is your lover,” he said, raising one thin eyebrow at me. I nodded and hid my face in my sleeves so she couldn’t see just how much of a mess I was. “I am not surprised. Since the two of you arrived, he has been quite…obnoxious. More so than usual.”

“He’s avoiding me,” I said, my voice crackling like dry tinder from the torrents of tears. “We argue all the time. It’s kind of our thing. But even when we were supposed to be enemies, he never went out of his way to hide from me.”

“That boy is a fool,” Kenshin answered. His tone was harsher than usual and when I glanced up at him, I may as well have been staring down a pair of knives for all the sharpness in his gaze. “You would think, having been in Shingen’s service nearly his whole life, he’d have at least learned something about women.”

I snorted. “That’s pretty funny coming from you, you know.”

“I know a great deal about women,” Kenshin replied defensively, his lips pressed into a thin line to hide the smile teasing them. “I am no monk, Mai. However, I choose not to waste my time with frivolities.”

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“Because you were crying. Women should never cry.”

That time I did laugh. “Then if you know so much about us, tell me…why are women so emotional?”

“That, little one, is one of life’s great mysteries.” He smirked then turned his gaze away from me, looking out over the garden. He heaved a sigh, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “If you must know, Yukimura wishes to marry you,” Kenshin said, and my heart stuttered to a shocked halt.

Say what now?

“But…”

“You didn’t know?” he asked, though he knew full well I didn’t know. “I would apologize for ruining that surprise, but I am not sorry in the slightest. I am weary of you moping about my castle and his frantic idiocy.”

“How did you find out?” I asked, hoping to wrap my mind around this. His initial statement rang through my mind again and again, but it seemed no more real than a daydream.

“I am actually surprised you didn’t know before now. That fool has interrogated every person in his path for three days seeking guidance in the matter. He sent letters weeks ago informing both Nobunaga and myself of his plan to ask for your hand during the festival. As it seems I inherited care of you in that alliance,” his nose wrinkled as he thought of the Alliance between Echigo and Azuchi and the resulting custody arrangement between himself and Nobunaga, “it was up to me to provide the blessing for this upcoming union.”

“So you’re saying Yukimura wrote to you and Nobunaga and asked permission?”

“Yes. Now that you have arrived, he and Sasuke have cobbled together some elaborate nonsense for the occasion that involves Shingen escorting you to the festival. I find this whole affair a waste of my ninja’s time.”

I laughed at that. “I do too. I don’t need anything elaborate. I thought Yukimura knew that.”

Kenshin shook his head. “The boy is daft. If I understand correctly, Sasuke has commissioned fireworks from the artisans in Oshu.”

My jaw fell slack. “Sasuke went to Masamune for fireworks? What on earth are they planning?”

Kenshin shrugged one shoulder as if he’d grown bored with the conversation. “How many people know?”

Kenshin chuckled. “It appears you are the only person in all of Japan that didn’t. I suspect you will have quite the audience this evening.”

Excitement replaced my shock. I’d never known Kenshin to lie. But one thing still didn’t make sense to me. Here I’d begun to think I’d done something to upset Yukimura, and that wasn’t the case at all. I’d wracked my brain for the memory of even the tiniest transgression, but there was nothing. And now this bombshell…

“But—but why is he avoiding me?”

Kenshin fixed me with a hard, impatient stare. “You already know the answer to that question. You, yourself have said more than once today that he is an idiot.”

“Because he is.”

“I agree.” Kenshin rose in a fluid, graceful motion, then took my hands and pulled me to my feet. I felt like a tromping elephant beside a gazelle as I rose. Even after I stood, Kenshin held onto my hands. “He intends to ask at the festival tonight.” Kenshin reached up an smoothed a lock of my hair back into place. “I suggest you pull yourself together and go get ready. I shall send the maids to assist you.”

Kenshin gave me one last, lingering look before turning away and leaving me alone in the garden with a head full of bubbles.

Yukimura wants to marry me…

***

Every bit of anxiety was washed away as I turned and ran back to our shared room. Our first “date” had been at a festival. My insides still fluttered when I remembered our first kiss under the fireworks. My heart skipped a beat at the memory of the fire in his eyes when he looked down at me, the way the bright colors in the sky reflected in his gaze. I remembered the feel of his hands on my waist and how I’d clung so desperately to him, not wanting to leave his side. I remembered the sweetness and innocence in that moment, before the world saw fit to try and tear us apart.

Yet we’d survived, we’d come through it all together. And now, a year after my return to this time and the man I’d fallen desperately in love with, we were on the cusp of this grand, new adventure. He was, in his own ridiculous way, trying to make this night special for me. And I…I wanted to do my part.

In all the excitement, I’d forgotten that I had something for him until that moment. Since I was now in on his secret and I knew he wasn’t going to come back before tonight, I dug through my bag until I found the two wrapped packages at the bottom. I set one off to the side and went to the desk with the other, prepared to write a letter to Yukimura when the door slid open and he appeared.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. His clothes were rumpled and his hair windblown, as if he’d just spent the last fifteen minutes either sparring with or running from Kenshin. Either was possible, except that I’d been with Kenshin until about five minutes ago. Whatever the reason for his huffing breath and disheveled state, it must have had something to do with his “surprise”.

“Oh, um…I’ll come back,” he stammered, breathless, and started to close the door.

“Yukimura, wait!” I shouted, rising with the package still clutched to my chest. He hesitated, panic flashing across his face, and I could see him consider just closing the door and running again. Now that I knew what was going on, his awkwardness was adorable. “I, um, have something for you. For tonight.”

Fear. Blind, bald fear flashed across his face. “Why?”

I closed the distance between us, noting how he stiffened as I neared. When I reached out and took his hand, he froze, the urge to bolt even more evident in his posture. Though when I tugged his hand, pulling him inside, he came willingly.

“Do I have to have a reason to give you a gift?”

“No, but…”

“But what?” I pushed. Yukimura began to sweat, tiny beads of perspiration appearing at his hairline. “You give me gifts all the time.”

“That’s different,” he replied, turning his hand to lace his fingers through mine.

“How so? It’s only fair that I do things for you once in awhile.” Before he could escape, I closed the distance between us and laid my head on his chest. Despite the weird gurgling noise he made in his chest, Yukimura’s arms went around me. My heartbeat jumped into high gear as I inhaled the scents of incense and woodsmoke lingering on his clothes. He was definitely up to something. “I made something for you,” I said against his chest. “Since our first official date was at a festival a lot like this one, I wanted to give you something to make it extra special.”

“Mai…”

Yukimura hooked a finger under my chin and tipped my head back to kiss me. His cheeks, ears, and nose glowed with embarrassment, which only made him more adorable. Though when his tongue swept between my parted lips to tangle with mine, all thoughts of sweetness evaporated. His arms tightened around my waist and the package I was holding thumped to the floor so that I could wrap my arms around his neck. He poured all of his love and affection into that kiss. His hands roamed over my sides and back, pulling me impossibly closer while I threaded my hands through his messy hair. It would take nothing at all to drag him across the room to our futon, but we both had plans now. Both had roles to play in tonight’s little drama.

When we parted, we did so breathless and clinging to each other for support. “Gods…I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I pressed my cheek to his chest and listened to his hammering heart.

“You said you had something for me?” he asked, his usual cheeky tone returning as his breathing slowed.

We sank to the floor together and I placed the package in his hands, watching with a mixture of excitement and nervousness as he unwrapped the bundle to reveal the haori I’d made for him.

“Mai…you…you made this?” he asked, his eyes going wide as he unfolded the garment and laid it out for inspection. His fingers traced over the black coin-crests embroidered into the shoulders of the deep, red garment—the Sanada family crest—and over the fine gold threads woven through the decorations along the neck.  “This is amazing…”

“I’m glad you like it. I thought you might want to wear it to the festival tonight.”

“You bet!” he chirped, then as if remembering the festival, his nervous energy returned. His shoulders tensed and the anxiety returned to his eyes. “But, uh, I have some stuff to—er—do before then. I’ll, um, be back in a little bit.” Yukimura leaned in like would kiss me again then thought better of it, placed a quick peck on my forehead, and all but ran from the room, nearly bowling over the two maids Kenshin sent to help me get ready.

“Silly boy,” I muttered, shaking my head as I rose from the floor and ushered the maids inside.

[supreme-sep]

Crystal Harris Pretends To Cry While Explaining Hef Breakup

Tracie Egan Morrissey

6/17/11 11:20amFiled to: WATCH 31.1K 114

Crystal Harris continued her Runaway Bride press tour last night on Entertainment Tonight; it was her first television interview since announcing earlier this week that she would not marry Hugh Hefner as planned on Saturday. While she did try to cry during her interview, Crystal was mostly all smiles as she explained her reasons for calling off the wedding, one of them being the 60-year age difference — you know, that same 60-year age difference that everyone from awards show hosts to blogs to pundits mocked since the couple's December engagement (Crystal pretended to be offended by that mockery during her last interview with Entertainment Tonight). She says that her rumored affair with Dr. Phil's son Jordan McGraw had nothing to do with the breakup and that the two are just friends who have been working on her music career.

And in case you were wondering, Jordan had nothing to do with the dance single Crystal released earlier this week. Reply114 replies

All replies The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material. Show pending

Burpy Boo Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:49am She's 25, right? So, perhaps I am naive, but why does it seem like she's had some sort of plastic surgery? Her face just doesn't really move when she speaks... or, maybe it's just that she's not particularly emotionally moved by the end of her engagement - so many possibilities! Reply

BlondeGoddess Burpy Boo 6/17/11 12:10pm Botox. Reply

thenumbler Burpy Boo 6/17/11 12:48pm It's like her lips are too huge for her to be able to talk correctly. Kind of sounds like when someone tries to cry and talk. Reply

This is an Awesome Pen Name Burpy Boo 6/17/11 12:54pm A lot of cosmetic surgeons are pushing to have Botox done *before* you get wrinkles so it can prevent wrinkles.

I know because my mother has suggested I do it to my brow-furrow area. Because I tend to furrow my brow. My husband has begged me not to because he said it's the best way to know when I'm really angry. Reply

bitchfacemcsasspants This is an Awesome Pen Name 6/17/11 1:18pm My mom told me this the other day after returning from a Botox session, and I almost laughed. Preventative Botox? Seriously? Dumbest thing I have heard lately. As if injecting bacteria into your face isn't already a dumb enough idea. Reply Show more replies in this thread

missWhaTha Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:32am There's something...off...about her face. I understand that's par for the course when it comes to Playmates/Hef's ladyfriends in general, but she's only how old?! She looks like the next Real Housewife of Orange County. Reply

cefdonnelly missWhaTha 6/17/11 11:42am I thought the same thing..she is 25 yet looks 40. I blame plastic surgery and unhealthy lifestyle. Also I really don't understand what's special about her. Reply

padme cefdonnelly 6/17/11 11:47am She's 25? Here I thought Hef was being more reasonable marrying an older woman. I thought she was in her late 30s at least. Remind me not to get plastic surgery on my face ever. Reply

BoxMeowBox missWhaTha 6/17/11 11:48am Her upper lip appears frozen when she speaks. Maybe she and Hef were experimenting with cryonics together. Reply

Myxomatosis missWhaTha 6/17/11 11:52am Well (and I mean this with the least amount of body snark possible when talking about someone's appearance), it's pretty clear she had her lips done, and the top one especially stretches across her face really tightly when she talks, and it looks super unnatural Reply Show more replies in this thread

lost_grrl Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 9:27pm It seems pretty clear that she planned this since the beginning...she broke it off like the day after that month's magazine went to print or something like that and there are rumors that she had planned all along to leave him at the alter in order to get publicity since the wedding was going to be filmed for a special TV show. She was said to be shopping around for a $500,000 deal for the first "Runaway Bride" interview. Does she really think that the general public is going to believe that she suddenly woke up 5 days before the wedding and realized that Hef was the Crypt Keeper or that there were other women at the Playboy Mansion? I don't know how the whole thing works...if he is really having sex with multiple women or not (I got the impression from something I saw with that Kendra girl that he does not sleep with all of his "girlfriends"...which begs the question why he would call them girlfriends otherwise) but it should have come as no surprise to her that the man she was about to marry was older than her grandfather or that there were other women willing to take her place. Sorry Crystal...I don't buy it for a second.

It makes you almost feel sorry for Hef...almost. Reply

Dumbbutnotblonde lost_grrl 6/18/11 6:03am @lost_grrl: Not to mention it was also the day her single was released.... Reply

welllahdeedah Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:49am The only other woman in Hef's life at this point is probably an at-home nurse, who attends to his daily shots of virgin blood and changes him every so often.

If Crystal was so jealous of the sponge-baths, she should have offered to take a PSW course. Reply

Apricot Poodle Riding Eeyore Across a Rainbow Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 2:13pm I think the interviewer's concern!face is pretty spectacular. Reply

jesbelle Apricot Poodle Riding Eeyore Across a Rainbow 6/17/11 2:41pm Watching this without the sound was really the only way to go. It's like performance art or something. "Smarmy douchebags mime emotions at one another"

Am I the only one who's uncomfortable by the camera constantly zooming in on whomever is speaking? I really don't want to get closer to either of these fools, thanks. Reply

Leahthekid jesbelle 6/17/11 10:32pm i got the feeling he hit on her afterwards. i felt like he was trying to look professional and concerned, but the whole time was thinking, she's a whore-i have an entitlement to tap that Reply

kookla Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 6:07pm If I were Jordan McGraw, I wouldn't want to be associated with that single either. And I'm not talking about the song. Reply

BabyJane Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 3:14pm I hate the fake cry. You know you're not crying. I know you're not crying. So let's just knock it off, shall we. Reply

Jessica Zimmerman Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:37am I use a Mac and all of a sudden over the last few weeks I can't view any of these videos. I use firefox and tried safari, anyone know what to do? Reply

GravityBringsUsDown Jessica Zimmerman 6/17/11 11:46am I use Chrome and I can see all of them on my Mac! Reply

tourist19 Jessica Zimmerman 6/17/11 11:47am I use chrome on my mac, but sometimes have that issue here. If the video doesn't load at all, but the rest of the page does usually a reload will make it appear. If the video does load, but doesn't play I generally hit play, then move the dot on the viewing bar back and forth until it kicks in. Sounds weird, but it works. Reply

Jessica Zimmerman GravityBringsUsDown 6/17/11 11:47am Good to know thanks :) I may have to get that! Reply

Slomo788 Jessica Zimmerman 6/17/11 11:48am Google Chrome. Your Mac's Flash plugin might need updating too. Reply Show more replies in this thread

SittingDuck139 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:51am Lol, I hate to admit it, but here's a guy who can't help but enjoy how transparently this gal used and then dumped Hef.

Full disclosure: I am, in fact, a Hef-hater. I know, bros before hos, hate the playa not the game, (but REALLY don't really hate the playa, either, cause then you're just a jealous friggin' loser, dude). The whole guy code, I get it, I'm familiar with it, I'm generally on board with it. I usually TRY to comply — sincerely, i do.

But in Hef's case, I've never been strong enough, I guess. I hate the guy. I know what you'll say — I'm just envious of that ridiculous lifestyle of his — and I won't argue the point — I'm sure that it's to some degree true. But frankly, more than the lifestyle itself, I think it's Hef's smug, self-satisfied, flaunting of that lifestyle that really grates... I mean, enjoy, brotha, you're old, decrepit, fading, you might as well enjoy what you can while you can. But can you have the good manners to just do it a little more quietly?

Anyway, I'm kinda cheering Crystal on this one, even though I know she doesn't particularly deserve it. Call me a hata, 'cuz a hata I am. Reply

bitchfacemcsasspants SittingDuck139 6/17/11 1:14pm I don't think you're as alone as you think you are in those sentiments. I know plenty of men who think he's a repulsive old bugger. My dad has two daughters, and his thoughts on the matter pretty much revolve around how he would mutilate Heffner in 10 different ways if he even ever looked at us. Hef's just gross, most people know it, and I doubt very many people genuinely support his lifestyle. I think he's more of a laughingstock at this point than anything else. Reply

Greenspanner-in-the-Works SittingDuck139 6/17/11 1:37pm Makes me wish duck season were here, kinda, sorta, almos'. Reply

Perhaps Not SittingDuck139 6/17/11 3:44pm Um, hallelujah. Reply

bitchfacemcsasspants Greenspanner-in-the-Works 6/17/11 4:10pm Best comment ever. Reply Show more replies in this thread

nyc-caribbean-ragazza Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:40am He has other women in his life? Oh please. The dude can barely walk. My grandfather passed away at 96. During his 90s he seemed a lot more with it than Hef. Reply

expertdabbler nyc-caribbean-ragazza 6/17/11 12:59pm

I'm pretty sure this Anna Berglund chick is the next in line. She's been posing on red carpets with just Hef and Crystal all year even though her issue came out in January. Reply

nyc-caribbean-ragazza expertdabbler 6/17/11 1:27pm Maybe she will have a show with Hef. The one with Crystal and twins didn't do so well. I wonder if Hef still makes his "girlfriends" keep a 10:00 p.m. curfew. Reply

real_recognize_real Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 7:47pm I'm sorry the lip injections, the botox, and plastic surgery... it's too much, and it's really distracting me. She's like my age!! What you need botox and a facelift for? Those lip injections are killing me softly. If you have thin lips, you have thin lips! The lip injections on the upper lip look like she has like a thick slim upper lip. not natural at all.

It's just funny because she got all the botox and what not to look younger, but that stuff really just makes you look SO much older!

oh, beauty standards in this country. When you try to achieve them, you wind up looking worse. Reply

black and tan real_recognize_real 6/18/11 2:14am it really does blow my mind that she is 24. its a combo of the plastic surgery and "the look". it is not flattering for young women. not fresh at all.

i know women in their twenties who have had botox and fillers. they look great; they DO NOT look like this. you would never know. it isn't just the needles, its the "look"/"image" and the lifestyle. very aging. :( Reply

nowmedusa Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:33am No regrets? Not even for that zig-zag part? Reply

gold_gato nowmedusa 6/17/11 1:21pm Hef likes his women in the 90s. Oh, wait! Reply

talithaghetto nowmedusa 6/17/11 7:18pm Just think how much worse her roots would look if her hair had a straight part. Reply

mannequin Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 12:26pm I actually thought she sounded really genuine when she talked about the dynamics of the mansion (jealousy, cattiness, revolving girls, etc). Obviously its ridiculous that this is even this big of a deal, just my 2 cents. Reply

Dr Pamela Isley mannequin 6/17/11 10:55pm I was set to see a gold digger and what i saw was a gold digger who had just enough of something in her that she couldn't go through with it. I also thought she was pretty genuine when she talked about how the mansion works and what she realized she couldn't do or live with. Reply

ApocalypseHow Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:34am Hef and I have the same birthday. I take it as proof that G-d has a sense of humor. Reply

spiraloflife ApocalypseHow 6/17/11 12:02pm We have the same birthday, then! Reply

Dirk Anger ApocalypseHow 6/17/11 2:01pm Different century, though Reply

slowtraincoming Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:53am Wait, when did she try to cry? Reply

BrightSpark slowtraincoming 6/17/11 11:57am Around 00:50 if I would have to guess!? Reply

Leahthekid slowtraincoming 6/17/11 10:34pm oh i geuss they cut that Reply

HopeAngel Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 1:57pm I cannot BELIEVE Hugh Hefner did not tell this innocent girl that not only is he 85 years old, but that he allows other women to venture in and out of the Playboy Mansion. Just to TRICK her into marrying him! The utter nerve! She's lucky she escaped that level of deceit while she still had her integrity intact. Reply

Dumbbutnotblonde HopeAngel 6/18/11 6:06am @HopeAngel: This Reply

Samoonta Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/18/11 12:58am Ahhh, I see. Coco is likable (and she is) so her plastic surgery decisions are OK. But Crystal is unlikable (and she is) so we can all pile on and body snark on her own personal surgery choices. Cool, cool. Reply

black and tan Samoonta 6/18/11 2:11am LOL! yes.

also, how women are designated as "likeable" and "unlikeable", on this site and in the media in general, seems extremely arbitrary to me. and it is really mostly other women doing the judging/designating. Reply

Leahthekid Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 10:30pm How could she not have known about the latest playboy? seriously....besides the fact that she posed for it and was aware of the upcoming release (or possibility of one), why would she not check up on that? Reply

Dr Pamela Isley Leahthekid 6/17/11 10:52pm she didn't know it was going to be labeled "Runaway Bride," not that she was in it. Reply

person9911 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 1:30pm Is she obliged to cry or something? Am I missing something? Reply

Ignotus person9911 6/17/11 2:54pm It's an odd title but I'm assuming their talking about the lack of emotion coming from Crystal. *shrugs* Reply

Justine Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 3:57pm Do people just say "no regrets" because it sounds badass now, with no regard for context? Reply

Leahthekid Justine 6/17/11 10:31pm because it's become totally fetch to say that. Reply

Ignotus Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 3:02pm Eh. Ever since the beginning this whole marriage and shit always seemed like a set up. I mean, he has to have as many women in that mansion as he is old. And that thing with Holly wanting to get married and have kids with Hef was weird enough. Why get married? Am I missing something. Reply

Her? Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 12:00pm "There's definitely an age difference."

Understatement of the fucking century. This whole mansion thing reeks of Waco Texas to me. The whole family was planning the wedding? Not the only woman. Women in line to be on Hef's arm next.

It sounds like the deprogrammers got to her just in time. Reply

Science and Sex, Bitches Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 12:01pm I guess her Castle of Sin must be the next mansion, just waiting for Hef to kick the bucket. Reply

Papaya432 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:33am Wow... why did I click on that song? Didn't Heidi Montag already make a whole album like this? Reply

Hotpants-McGee Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 12:47pm OK, maybe the first chick that moved into the mansion could have been taken aback by the Playboy lifestyle, but after like 50 years, I think we all know what it's like there. Jealousy and cattiness will happen, sorry. Reply

helechoanarquista Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 5:37pm I don't even recognize her. Clearly she told them to go heavy on the Botox in preparation for her big media tour. Reply

kaylam89 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:47am Jesus that song is annoying. Reminds me of Kim Kardashian's failed attempt at making music. Reply

JoeThursday Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 1:57pm I hate how ET uses those little cartoon ribbons to cover her already-covered lady-bits. Reply

allcomingupmilhouse Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:59am Is it wrong that I kinda liked that song? It's fairly reminiscent of Britney. I'm a fan. Reply

bozofish11 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/18/11 4:52pm I bet Holly is doing her crazy dolphin laugh all over Vegas.

...Or just doing dolphins all over Vegas. Reply

ortcutt Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 7:04pm This is the most brilliant viral marketing campaign of all time. Can you believe how much free publicity Hefner has milked out of this fake romance? Reply

tinfoil-party Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/18/11 1:28pm CALCULATED, CLAIR ST. CLAIR. The word is calculated. Reply

This Lady is Brutal Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 8:46pm There is NO WAY this was ALL PLANNED IN ADVANCE! NO WAY! Reply

Perhaps Not Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 3:46pm All good points, but you know who I don't feel sorry for? Hugh Hefner. Reply

tlong1122 Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:33am She's pretty.

She's skeevy.

She's pretty skeevy. Reply

Proofer Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/18/11 3:03am She sounds overwhelmed. But if I looked that pretty, I'd be overwhelmed all the time. Reply

girl_ninja Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 11:30am Calucltive move? I'm sorry, I don't even know how to spell what she said. Reply

Kelfire Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 12:30pm whats up with the guttural gasping sound at 0:22 ? Reply

YouToldMe Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/18/11 7:35am She's as fake as her tits. Reply

ohmystars Tracie Egan Morrissey 6/17/11 2:03pm holy plastic surgery! Reply

[thoughtbroker]

A Week Without Antidepressants

I've been taking an antidepressant (what I believe to be)called Effexor Xr for nearly seven years, gradually upping the dosage whenever I'd experience anxiety or an unusual negative change in mood. My doctor from my hometown was happy to oblige me with over the phone prescription refills since moving to the city a couple years ago. We hadn't met in what seemed like forever, we would just exchange pleasantries over the phone every six months or so, just so I could have another refill or a higher dosage. He always seemed to be optimistic about me receiving a higher dosage, having a very strong opinion of the pills, he made it seem like they would fix whatever social problems I had.

To a degree, they did. They seemed to even out any kind of hiccups I had been experiencing in my everyday life, I had almost become complacent with life as I soon realized very little could phase me, unlike years prior, where a botched conversation with someone would send me into a crying fit. A week ago I had nearly run out of my pills, and leaving it to the last minute as I always did, I called the doctors office in my hometown to ask for more. To my surprise, my doctor had retired. Having not spoken for the better part of half a year, I had no idea something like this was in the works. The secretary was kind enough, but stated that there was no way the new doctor would prescribe me more pills without a personal visit, which was understandable but it meant a very inconvenient voyage to my hometown.  

Rather then make the effort, I decided to cut them out cold turkey. A good idea at the time, I felt like I had progressed to the emotional level of a "normal human being", and was able to sever the ties with Effexor now that I was in a comfortable position. Now, having been on the drug for so many years, I underestimated the toll not taking them would have on my body. Its now been 6 days since the last time I took my medication, and I feel like the world I going to end.

The first day without was pretty normal, having missed the odd dosage in the past, I was familiar with the dizziness that accompanied missed morning pills. It wasn't anything major, just feeling a little wonky at times that would throw off my balance and make me seem a little absent minded. The second day was slightly worse, as I felt nausea on a nearly hourly basis and the dizziness had intensified. Sleeping was terrifying. I felt exhausted waking up on day three, my mind had conjured nightmares that taxed my mind to the point where sleeping didn't even feel real. I'd wake up every two hours, having dreamed of absurd situations that invoked feelings of mass anxiety. Things like missing work, failing out of school, people yelling at me, etc. In the morning I felt like I was awake but couldn't move, a condition apparently called sleep paralysis. I felt like I was moaning while sluggishly dragging my body across my bed, but did so in a weird dream state. Its super confusing. The rest of day three meant more of the same, inability to sleep, and increased nausea and vertigo during the day. I constantly felt sluggish and absent minded. On day four I started feeling a tingling sensation apparently called "brain zaps", or Lhermitte's sign, as I recently learned. This made my body shiver and tingle on occasion as the vertigo made walking more of a challenge. Day five was where I began vomiting, as my general disposition became worse and I started just being angry and annoyed all the time. Day six (going into seven) is where I am right now, starting a new job at 7am and unable to sleep, my body and mind feel taxed despite not having done anything but remedial labor. Tonight I desperately looked at walk in clinics on the net, hoping to fill another prescription. This is by far the dumbest thing I've done in a while, but it hopefully makes a good PSA for anyone considering taking antidepressants or coming off of them. I’ve since de-enrolled with my hometown doctor, but I was told it would be a week or so before I may find a new one in the city.

[yang-squared]

i don’t really know how to write this one because it’s a hot mess tm, but i really need to put it down so i can see it later (in the morning probably) and get over it like i need to.

i guess i’ll start at the beginning. or maybe some background info? yeah, that’s probably the best. i know my bro can see this, so if you’re him, please don’t bring this up to me unless we’re alone. i just need to cry about it for now. because it’s three in the morning and i haven’t been this sad in a hot minute.

so i get bored a lot, and feel the urge to consistently have attention or at least feel wanted (refer to previous post) because otherwise i feel like i’m a failure or i start disassociating like i’m not even real because people just don’t care or maybe i should just disappear anyways because it wouldn’t matter (this is toxic, i realize now ok). anyways, i end up on apps like tinder. because it’s easy validation and i can skrt skrt away from people fairly quickly and without problem. also because it’s funny hearing their pickup lines.

usually i end up feeling disgusting after getting said apps, but it’s also fun to swipe on people because it’s either going to be great or terrible. also: amusing to see who’s all on these apps you know.

i ended up talking to this guy first, which is weird. but i only did so because i saw he was in an organization that i know several people in, but they’re in different states (he lives like four-ish hours, i think) and i kind of recognized him as one of their newer members. he was one of the ones i thought was cute when a friend of mine (who is in my organization where we know these guys from). so, like, kinda weird lmao. so i messaged him, double checking even though his name was kind of a blatant sign.

we ended up talking for a while on the app, kind of establishing how we ended up on each other’s profiles considering he’s kind of far. he was in town the weekend for the chapter at my university visiting. whatever. i remember this because he ended up asking me if i was there, which i was not. also because shortly after there was a tragedy and we had already been talking for a day or two. but that was on snap. we had ended up matching fairly early, but i didn’t say anything until later. but he was pretty bad at responding, to which he said, and then asked for my snap (which i’m always kind of hesitant about sharing because it has my last name in my user) and i was sold when he went “bet.” this was january 14th i think or somewhere around there.

we ended up snap chatting for a while, i guess, but i decided to delete snap because i was just getting really tired of it. so we switched to texting (jan 26th, these dates are just so i have a rough timeline for myself). we send a lot of memes to each other, even now, and it’s kind of funny. very nice. BUT whatever.

long story short for this part: we were both interested in each other (i guess??) and talked about it a lot and we hella face timed (which we haven’t really in a while and it makes me sad) but something happened the weekend we actually met (lolz) with another girl and now he’s interested in her (which is ok!! she’s super nice and very outgoing!! and i hope they’re happy!!) but i guess that’s where the “keep me up all night” part comes in.

we’re still friends, probably because i’d like to think it’s because we send each other memes and have a slightly similar sense of humor, and i’m ok with that. it feels a little more like things don’t have to be forced. we’re still best friends on snap (for two weeks lmfao) and text every now and then and send memes on instagram. then he found my stan twitter and now sends me stuff on there (this is true friendship, i guess he’s really in it for the long haul considering i say the Dumbest things on stan twt) and it’s fine i guess. but like. i worry about him.

yeah, he raves and does things involved with rave culture, which ok. fair to worry about. but i don’t know. lately, he’s only really talking to me at night (like late nights, when he has early classes) and while i don’t mind because i never sleep and he knows this, i want to make sure he’s ok. like tonight he even said he wasn’t feeling great bc of feelings and he has the terrible habit of sleeping it off and idk. i feel like i shouldn’t really care that much and like i’m overanalyzing, but i just want to make sure he’s ok.

i also don’t wanna piss the other girl off since she’s in one of my orgs and is also in an org my sorority has *tensions* with. like, she’s really nice. it’s just i don’t know if she even knows i talk to him and while it doesn’t mean anything, i don’t want her to assume something. i don’t know the extent they even talk and it’s none of my business to ask, but i hope he can go to her with some of his emotions too. because i can’t be the girl he only talks to at night because he can’t talk to her about it. i’m just gonna get hurt by it, because i end up investing so much of my own emotional health into people who are just taking advantage of the fact i care about their well-being. like i really hope it isn’t like that, but it’s just bothering me.