#weeknight wedding

[screenshotsonpinterest]

Percy takes Annabeth to see Hadestown on a weeknight date and thinks she’s going to spend the whole time complaining about the inaccuracies but she’s crying by the wedding song and almost break his fingers holding his hand because she knows in another life that’s them

[lokis-army-77]

OK, so I know I *could* write this, but my WIPs are ridiculous, and you wrote Demon Eddie so well that he lives rent free in my head.

I was thinking Incubis Eddie, where reader thinks shes just having very horny dreams with this thing, and then he visits her when he thinks she's asleep but she's not...

Feel free to add your own flavours, or ignore this horny thot entirely up to you babe x

Hunger

Incubus!Eddie Munson x fem reader

Word Count: 2k

A demon awaits you in your room when you arrive home from a night out.

Warning: 18 +. multiple orgasms, some licking (f reviving), fingering (vaginal and anal), CNC?, some hair pulling, blood.

And thank you to @lofaewrites for beta reading 💗

Masterlist

He had started showing up in the dark corners of your room only a month ago. It was after you had watched some horror movie with a friend and instead of being afraid like every normal person in the theater, you were turned on. 

In the dreams you had of him, you weren't scared either even when he came into the light and bared his two rows of needle-sharp teeth, even when his horns made him appear taller and the wings stretching from his bare back made him look broader. 

Each night he visited you was another wonderful exploration of your wants and desires. You couldn't get enough of him and when you woke only to find that the pleasure and the pain had all been a dream, you sulked to yourself as you missed the feel of those long, clawed fingers scratching at your skin.

You had come home way later than you usually would on a weeknight. Only coming through your front door at around three in the morning. A long-time friend of yours had gotten married and the reception had gone on longer than you would have liked. The bride and groom had left at around twelve but the party raged on without them. You called it quits when the ache in your feet could no longer be ignored and instead of conversation, all you could do was yawn. 

Trudging through your front door you kick your shoes off and throw your bag onto the table in the entryway. You’re exhausted and all you want is to go to bed.

As you walk through your house, everything seems normal, until you flip the lights on in your bedroom. You freeze when you see it. A dark mass by the head of your bed bent over and pulling at the clumped-up sheets. 

The creature whips around, its hair falling into its face as it growled. Its wings spread out to make itself look bigger and it bared its rows of sharp teeth.  You take a step back, fear gripping onto you. But then, as you look at the strange form, you are met with a familiar feeling. This wasn’t a strange creature, no it was what visited you in your dreams. 

Confusion fell over you then. He was just a dream. He wasn’t real so why were you seeing him in your room? You don’t remember falling asleep anywhere. Shaking your head, you pinch your arm, thinking it might wake you up like it does in the movies but all you feel is the sharp pain it brings to your forearm. 

Cautiously, you take a step forward, hands out, showing the creature you didn’t intend to do anything rash. ��Hello,” you speak softly. His eyes slit as he stares at you. “Uh.. what are you doing here?” You ask. He had never really talked to you in your dreams before but it didn't hurt to try. 

“You aren’t supposed to be awake.” He answers, voice deep. 

 You take a deep breath. "What do you mean?" you ask.

He stares at you for a moment before he speaks again. "You know what I mean."

When he steps toward you, you step back, only to run into the door. Where there should have been a sense of dread, there was only a spark. A tingling sensation coiling up inside of you the closer he came.  

He reaches out his hand, claw-like nails giving him a more sinister look, and brushes back the strands of your hair that had fallen out of the updo you had been wearing for the wedding. You shiver when you feel his nails tickle your skin.  

You can feel your heart beating faster as he shuffles closer to you, his larch body towering over yours. A gasp leaves you when he unexpectedly grabs you and hoists you over his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Your voice wavers as he walks you over to the bed and throws you down. Your body bounces at the force and once you settle, you try to back away from him. 

He huffs, frustrated. “You aren’t this much of a hassle when you’re sleeping.” He takes hold of your ankle and drags you back down the bed. You try to wriggle free, but he is too strong. He grabs the other ankle and pulls you towards him, trapping you between his body and the mattress. He presses his body against yours, his hands roaming over you. 

You can’t help the flood of arousal that washes over you as you struggle against him. He’s smirking like this is a game to him and it’s only making you more flustered. 

Leaning down, his lips press into yours and his tongue slips inside your mouth. It’s forked, just like in your dreams, but now, with what little he’s said, you wonder if they were really dreams at all. 

The kiss is fierce, full of strong emotions and wandering hands. He tugs on your dress and you can hear the fabric beginning to tear. You try to pull away and to stop him but he’s so much stronger than you. 

You feel the needle-sharp tips of his teeth nip you, drawing blood from your bottom lip. He laps it up, humming at the metallic taste. Your fingers drag lines over his back and sides as you fall deeper into the feral, primal instincts now controlling you. 

His hardened length can be felt pressing into your thigh as he ruts into you. His kisses are rough and desperate, and you can feel his heart racing against yours as he pulls you closer. He whispers in your ear, "Let me take what I need and I will let you sleep.” 

You’re nodding before you can stop yourself. The growing need for him is too much to resist now. 

The creature hums, satisfied at your submission. Soon, your dress is finally ripped off of you, along with your undergarments. You are left completely bare to him, nipples pebbling in the cool air of your room and thighs snapping shut at being so exposed. 

A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest and he’s quick to open your legs up. Long, deft fingers trail down your exposed skin, goosebumps coming up in their wake. He takes his time, coaxing you into a more relaxed state with gentle caresses and warm lips sucking marks into your skin.

“Ah.” A moan leaves you when you feel him bite at your collarbone. Tiny pinpricks that draw the smallest amount of blood. His tongue laved over the wound and he let out a groan. 

His hand finally reaches between your legs and you let out a cry of relief when his thumb rubs over your clit. His other hand moves up to cup your breast, his fingers teasing your nipple. His mouth moves over your neck and he whispers in your ear, “You are so sensitive.” His fingers slid through the wetness faster over your clit. 

Your hips move in tandem with his hand, bucking and writhing. He lets you take what you need.  His fingers move faster still as you begin to moan and gasp. His other hand moves down to your hip and grips as your body jerks with each wave of pleasure. “Fuck-” you breathe. You can feel the all-too-familiar sensation pushing you closer and closer to the edge. 

“That’s it. Give it to me.” He whispers into your ear as your back arches and your toes curl.  

Your breath hitches as your body tenses. Your voice breaks and you cry out in pleasure as you reach your peak. His grip tightens as you collapse onto the bed. 

The creature moans into your neck and he keeps rubbing his fingers into you, slowly moving them down from your clit to circle around your soaking-wet entrance. You whimper in his strong grip. 

“Please,” you gasp. He doesn’t stop, he pushes two of his fingers into you, pulling a wail from your lungs. You are clamping down around him, cunt practically sucking his fingers. 

There are squelching sounds coming from the fluid motion of his fingers roughly bounding into you. Your pleas and moans accompany the sounds and it’s like music to the creature's ears.   

He fingers you with abandon, pushing and pulling with force and speed. Your orgasm builds with each thrust of his fingers, your pleasure becoming more intense with each passing second. Your body goes rigid in his hold and as you cum for a second time. 

“No more,” you mumble, spent and exhausted. 

You hear him chuckle, “I’m not done with you, pet.” 

When his fingers leave your used cunt, a whine leaves you at the loss and you feel yourself clamping down around nothing. He is turning you onto your stomach before you know it. Your head is buried in the sheets and your body lies like a board. 

With closed eyes, you can only assume what he is doing behind you as you feel his body atop your own. Thick fingers push apart the fat of your ass to expose you. The tickle of his hair as he leans down to lick a thick stripe from your pussy to the tight ring of your ass makes you twitch, a small bit of exhausted laughter pushing through you. 

He pulls back and you can feel his thumb toying with your ass, circling and pushing in just slightly. He has moved to his legs are on either side of your closed thighs. You can feel the hardness of his cock resting along the seam of where your legs meet. He’s hot and leaking pre-cum. 

Wiggling your hips, you encourage him to keep going. He then guides his cock closer, pressing the tip through the sticky wetness and into your waiting pussy. 

You moan into the bed at the stretch, hands gripping the sheets. He’s so big that he makes you feel so full without being completely inside you. 

He keeps pushing into you, grunting and hissing at the feel of your cunt spasming around him. Once he is fully sheathed inside you he begins to piston his hips. In and out in and out. He’s fucking you at a brutal pace. Giving you pleasure but also taking what he wants from you. 

His thumb is still circling your ass but as he keeps going, he finally pushes past your tight rim. You cry out into the open air of your bedroom. His thumb is thick and stretches you open where you have never been stretched before. 

“Fuck, yes.” You mumble into the sheets below. 

He grins. “You like that pet? Like when I use this pretty ass?”

You nod, hair tangling under your face as you do. “Yes, yes, yes.” It's the only word you can get out of your mouth. 

Listening to your words he begins to thrust his thumb in and out of you at the same unwaveringly fast pace that his hips have set. 

You can’t help the guttural groan you let out. It’s all becoming too much. So many sensations are filling your body, some familiar and others new. The strings of your orgasm have been pulled taut and are slowly breaking one by one. Your fists clench and your legs spasm. The creature reaches to your head and pulls on your hair at the base of your neck. Your head is forced up and with a half cry half moan, you cum around him as he releases thick stream after thick stream into you. 

As he keeps himself buried within you, he leans down and bites at your ear before speaking. “I may have to visit you when you are awake again, pet. You take me so well.” 

He pulls out and moves away, fast and unexpectedly, leaving you to drop, spent, and used on the bed. You turn slowly to look for him but your eyes find him nowhere in your room. It was empty, he had vanished into thin air. 

Soon he will return, hunger no longer sated by the sexual energy that you have given him tonight.  

[johnwickb1tsch]

Vino Veritas - Epilogue

A Destination Wedding Frank x Fem!Reader Fic

Attending the wedding of your ex-fiancé gets slightly better when you meet someone having just as miserable a time as you... Warnings: Nothing too serious holy shit. Cursing. Broken engagement. Nihilism, existential bullshit, copious amounts of sarcasm. NSFW. Angst. Grump/sunshine trope. Loosely based on the movie but I'm not that smart. Or bitter. 😆 chapter map.

Epilogue: That Most Presumptuous Of All Things

“You look so handsome,” you tell Frank, smoothing his suit jacket, straightening the little cluster of white flowers in his lapel. He smiles down at you, that warmth shining in his dark eyes that you know is just for you. Even after all these years, it still gives you butterflies. 

His boutonniere matches the baby’s breath braided into your hair. 

All these years later, the two of you are finding yourselves at yet another destination wedding in wine country. 

This time, you’re not half so annoyed about the presumptuous inconvenience. 

This time, the guest list numbers two: him, and you. 

No one was more surprised than you, a few months ago, when in the middle of dinner on a normal weeknight he set a river rock down in front of your plate of chicken carbonara that simply read, “Marry me?” 

You’d never meant anything more, when immediately you’d answered through your laughter, “Yes.” 

The two of you decided very quickly to forgo the meaningless trappings and pageantry of the conventional wedding. Who did it concern, anyway, but just the two of you? 

In half an hour, you will go to the courthouse where a Justice of the Peace will say a few words over your union, and you’ll sign a piece of paper together declaring you man and wife. This last big gesture will be undeniably sweet, but you can’t help but think it won’t really change anything between the two of you. The cement of your bond set long ago, mixed with dedication, sweat, and tears poured into this precious thing between you. 

It hasn’t been all roses. No real relationship ever is. 

Your fights are probably the stuff of legend in his condo building. Your first big go round, after the inevitable shouting match, you’d left his apartment in a huff, needing to regroup (so as not to commit murder). When you came back you found him sitting in the dark with his head in his hands. He’d thought you’d left for good, and you promised him that night that you would always come back for him. 

It’s a promise you’ve kept. 

A bit more embarrassing, your make up sex is probably legend too. Mrs. Fontaine next door always gives you a certain sly little look with a twinkle in her eye, the night after.

For such an expensive building, they’d sure skimped on the thickness of the walls.

He’s tried to break up with you, twice. Once, after seeing you holding a friend’s baby, (and maybe because you somehow managed not to drop it?) he convinced himself (without asking you) that you really did want kids and were wasting your youth on him. The second time, because he insulted you. Or rather, your art. His usually impish teasing just went a bit too far, and it had been a doozy, you had to admit. No one can deliver a cuttingly true remark like Frank, and he did make you cry,  though he apologized almost immediately. Ironically, in the end, the whole thing upset him more than you, the you deserve better song and dance surfacing again that you’ve fought tooth and nail.

You did not respect his wishes either instance, refusing to take no for an answer, going after him with both barrels and a vengeance. You sent flowers to his work, bribed his dry cleaner to put love notes in his jacket pockets, and left sappy balloons tied to his car. You even threatened to finally ambush him with the boombox (you didn’t even own one, truth be told) which finally led to a sit down at your favorite sushi joint, and your inevitable victory. As it turned out–it was exactly the assurance he’d needed all along. 

Both times your love just came out the other side of the fire even stronger. 

Your joy is legend too, even if only in your own mind. Frank makes you laugh every day. He makes you feel desired, and loved, and mostly saves his razor-edged observations for the rest of the world outside, which the two of you watch go by with spectators’ amusement and dismay. Talking shit remains your number one pastime together. At some point, the little things each of you does that inevitably annoys the other becomes more of a running joke. Your love language includes flipping each other off regularly and playfully trading barbs. It’s hard for others to believe, but his devotion to you is thoughtful and complete. You do your best every day to return it in kind. Some days you fall short, and sometimes he does too, but on the whole you make eachother happy, and somehow five years have flown by. 

 “You look beautiful.” His approval fills your heart like a sunrise. You’re wearing a simple white lace dress that hits just above your knee. If you have to run from a mountain lion, you’re not going to trip over your skirts. Your shoes? Might be another matter. 

“Thanks.”

“I like the heels,” he says with a smirk, as though his thoughts are aligned with yours. They often are as of late, you’ve found. Your shoes are actually the same wedge platforms you wore to a different wedding you attended together, what feels like a lifetime ago. 

“I thought you hated these shoes?” you tease. 

“Oh no. It will be impossible for you to run from me, when you finally come to your senses,” he says with a little smile, touching a strand of hair by your ear lightly.  You shudder as it sends a thrill across your skin, and if you’re being honest, straight to your loins. Whose ridiculous suggestion was it, anyway, to forego intimacy before the wedding? 

Ok, so it was yours–and Frank has been delighting in torturing you over the past month. You just might expire over the time it will take to get to the courthouse, go for a leisurely drive through the vineyards, and sit through a nice dinner at one of the wineries overlooking the fields at sunset. Sex is yet another thing between you that has somehow only gotten better with time, and to say you are looking forward to your wedding night would be an understatement.

“This was all your idea,” you remind him. “Are you…rethinking it? If you are–” 

He snorts and pulls you against him, lifting you on tiptoe with an arm around your waist and kissing you so deeply you know you’ll have to re-apply your lipstick. 

Ah well. 

“Woman…” He rests his forehead against yours, and you smile, ridiculously content in this moment with him.

“Why do you want to get married, Frank?” You realize, perhaps hilariously, you never actually asked him, so delighted that you just rolled with it. You already practically live together, at his place and yours. You’re both financially independent. You’re not planning on starting a family. Your commitment to each other was already set in stone.  

“I felt like we needed a challenge. We’ve been entirely too happy,” he says with that smirk that makes you roll your eyes. 

“Come on.”

“And if something happens to me, I don’t want my mother or Keith to be able to pull my plug.”

You poke him in the ribs for this. For some reason, he’s convinced himself this morbid scenario is inevitable. “I already have your medical POA.”

He squirms away with a grunt of amusement before grabbing you up again, his gaze softening for you once more. “Because, I love you, more than anything or anyone.” 

You believe him too. The thing about Frank, is that he does not make this shit up. He says what he’s thinking, at the moment he thinks it–and you think your heart really might explode. “Likewise,” you assure him with a smile, tilting your head to receive another gentle kiss that curls your painted toes. “Are you ready to go?”

He nods, and maybe you are feeling some pre-wedding jitters now. Because you still think this man is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever laid eyes on, and sometimes it is still a little hard to believe that he’s all yours. 

You grab your purse, he grabs the keys, and together you walk out the door towards the next big step of your life, together. 

The End, which is really just to say, another beginning…  

Thank you everyone who’s come on this wacky journey with me and supported this fic! @treedaddymcpuffpuff @scarlettspectra @sweetwolfcupcake @lilspookymeh @kurai-hono-blog @nightmare-bean  @discoscoob @thewhumpcaretaker and SO many others, (I didn’t want to make you feel weird by tagging you if we’ve never actually talked but I SEE YOU! 😘) your comments and likes and reblogs gave me life and helped me actually finish! FULL credit to @nightmare-bean for the rock proposal idea, I love it so much! 🤣

[panda-writes-kpop]

the dreadful need in the devotee ~ lee gahyeon

a/n: sorry for all my international folks, I know I'm late (curse you comp sci homework for taking hours to complete) but happy Gahyeon day!! here's your daily dose of existensial dread and sadness in case you haven't felt that way recently :] (all jokes, but apparently I was in my feels when I wrote this)

tw: fluff to sadness, main character death, car accident, some religious elements, we almost got a happy ending folks

acknowledgements: inspired by hozier's talk and the pjo series on Disney plus!

word count: 2.8k

summary: a recollection of the five times you couldn't look at Gahyeon and the one time you did, but it's staged during a modern retelling of one of my favorite greek myths of all time (5+1 trope my beloved <3)

♡ Masterlist ♡

As the burning taste of alcohol travels down your throat, you think about why you’re here on a Wednesday night.

Here wasn’t home, the place you most often were found. Home was your paradise, your inspiration for your work - but you had been in a rut lately. Nothing seemed to spark your creativity, not even a hot drink and a warm bath would do.

So you wandered down the street, hoping to find something that would make you and your work feel alive again. Instead, the couples you passed on the street only chose to dig at a wound that you had covered with the patchwork of self-isolation.

Since tonight was an utter failure, much like most nights this month, you turned to the one thing that made everything a little better - booze. A drink sounded nice, especially as the last couple you passed discussed their wedding and future together.

You slid into the first bar that you found that was not too far from your apartment. Five blocks was a new record for you, considering that every store you needed was only two or three blocks from your apartment. Maybe you’d print out a certificate so you’d have some marker of success to hang on your wall.

World’s Most Introverted Person Travels Two Blocks Farther Than Usual!

You need another hobby besides drinking and bad jokes.

You’d turn to art, but blank pages and screens peek out at you from every corner of your apartment. That wasn’t an option, and you had already used all your daily wanderlust to find a bar, so drinking would have to do.

It wasn’t like the bar was busy or anything - weeknight traffic was slow, especially on Wednesday. You were sitting at the bar, making occasional idle chatter with the bartender and another patron who seemed to be in a worse state of despair than you.

You were fine in your bubble, and it wasn’t like anything would pop it any time soon-

Then you see her.

Your eyes landed on a group of girls sitting in a corner, but the girl that draws your attention is everything you had imagined and so much more. With bright pink hair, it was impossible to see anything but here.

She was a beautiful white lily among the tall grass, a sweet melody floated over syncopated beats. She was the sun, and you were a comet that was about to crash into her orbit. She was everything, and you were nothing.

…And she was looking right at you.

Fuuuuuck.

You immediately look away when she bounces up to you - she’s probably going to talk to that other person, right?

You couldn’t look her in the eyes, even when she, in all of her beautiful glory, was right in front of you. 

“Do you want to join us for drinks?” Her eyes are inviting as she holds her hand out to you.

You try to find a reason to say no, but she sparks something within you. Something warm and kind, buried under the safety blanket that you wrapped your heart in.

She wasn’t your inspiration, not yet, at least. A muse, perhaps?

Whatever divine intervention brought you together was well needed.

Even though you couldn’t look her in the eyes until you were both drunk enough to forget everything but each other.

~

Gahyeon, her name was. 

Even though the headache fucking sucked (but was so worth it, considering the extra phone number in your contacts), things started to look up for you. You could actually produce art, which meant that you could pay your landlord on time.

Your apartment was a mess while you were in a funk - a proper decluttering was in order. If you weren’t inspired to do art, you definitely weren’t inspired to do household chores. You shudder as your mother’s voice reprimands you about keeping your place tidy.

Perhaps sending proof of life would get her voice out of your head. Yet again, she’d probably call you and then want to visit, which would make things worse.

Suddenly, doing the dishes instead of mentally stalling doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Tedious doesn’t begin to cover your feelings towards the stacks upon stacks on dishes, which hadn’t grown mold or attracted flies, thank god. You decide to set your phone aside (you’d checked it three times since you decided to do the dishes, maybe you need to get a safe to throw it into) before filling the sink with water.

As you add soap to the water, your phone chimes. You shut off the water, as flooding your apartment would be worse than cold water, you reason.

You were sober enough to put Gahyeon’s name in your phone, but your capitalization skills were a bit… questionable.

gAhyEOn: hey u up?

    some friends and I went drinking last night, and I need a pick-me-up.

    you wanna go for coffee?

Coffee? As in a coffee date? As in you’ll be face-to-face with Gahyeon alone, after you probably made a fool of yourself a few nights ago? 

Well, you don’t remember much about that night, do you?

God damn you, vodka, you taste good in too many mixed drinks.

You quickly respond with a ‘Sure! What time?’ after contemplating what to say for an uncomfortable amount of time.

gAhyEOn: Does thirty minutes work for you?

    I’ll send you the address, see if you can make it there in time.

Your phone buzzes, and afterwards, you plug the address into Google Maps - it’s only a block farther than the bar you met Gahyeon in. If you quickly scrubbed a few dishes and put proper clothes on (the Pokemon pajamas were cute but not ideal for a “first date”), you could make it there in thirty minutes if you run-walked.

You send her a confirmation text, telling her that the time and place will work. You manage to finish a quarter of the dishes (you’ll totally finish the rest of the dishes instead of continuing your latest masterpiece) before throwing on a comfortable outfit that’s perfect for a first date. You grab your wallet and phone before heading out of your apartment. 

The walk to the cafe takes a lot less time than you had considered, but that was probably because you were going through a hundred and one different ways that you could make a fool of yourself.

Although you nearly ran headfirst into a pole when you saw Gahyeon waving at you in the distance, you had made it to the café.

Even if you were a bit too embarrassed to look her in the eyes, a bit sweaty from run-walking here, especially after she told you off for being late.

“You’re five minutes late. I thought I told you thirty minutes, not thirty-five-”

“In my defense,” You raise your hands in the air, “I’m worse at directions when I’m sober.”

“If you buy me coffee, I may forgive you.”

“Let’s test that theory, huh?” You open the door for her as she gracefully smiles.

You let out a nervous sigh before closing the door behind you. You’ve got this, right?

Maybe the gods would push some luck in your favor.

~

Gahyeon didn’t think you were a total loser, so that was a plus.

She even agreed to a proper first date, and then a second, next a third, and you’d somehow convinced her to become your girlfriend… which meant that she would be moving in with you since you’d been dating for a year and a half.

Time flies.

“Can you help me with these boxes, babe?”

After shoving more of your supplies (holy fuck how much shit did you own) into a spare closet, you join Gahyeon at the door to receive the box that she had in her hands.

“I got it,” You say before immediately swearing after the box rests in your arms, “what did you put in here, a bowling ball?”

“Three, actually,” Gahyeon offers a sweet smile as you shake your head, “it’s just the first box of my clothes. You can set it in the bedroom, if you would.”

“The things I do for you.” You scoff before shifting the weight in the box (seriously, what was in here?).

You take a few steps forward as Gahyeon wanders around your apartment. She peeks into the room you just left before letting out a gasp.

“You didn’t move your work so I could have more space, did you?”

You pause, not turning to meet her eye, as she accusingly charges toward you.

“Yah, babe, I told you to leave that stuff there! You know how much I love seeing your work.”

You hightail it to the bedroom before she tackles you into a warm hug. You both dissolve into giggles, heavy boxes and caring anger set aside, as you enjoy her presence.

“I love you.” She whispers before kissing your lips.

You wonder what god of love was paid off in order to match you and Gahyeon, but you didn’t care. Everything worked, you two worked, and your work spoke for itself.

That’s all you ever needed.

~ 

A wedding ring was the other thing you needed.

You had fiddled with the ring for ages, wondering when would be the right time to propose. 

Gahyeon deserved the best, after all.

So you just asked her one day, when the moment was right.

And she said yes before bursting out into tears. You were quick to comfort her, of course, but you felt like you had ascended to another plane of reality.

Finally, everything made sense.

Your creative energy was at a high, so you were producing plenty of work. You were ahead on rent, enough so that you could save up for a house and a wedding, eventually.

Gahyeon stood in the kitchen, admiring the ring on her left hand, as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

“The ring’s pretty.” She says absentmindedly as you squeeze your arms, which makes her laugh. “What’s up?”

“I got bored. Something told me to go out here and check up on you.” You give a small shrug before kissing her cheek. “What are you up to?”

“I’m going to head to the store by my old place to pick up a few things. Do you want anything?”

For some reason, your stomach sinks. But why, you wonder? She made this trip often, what was so awful about it now?

“Are you sure you don’t want to go down the street, to the convenience store?” You try to convince her as she shakes her head and manages to escape your grasp.

“I’ll be fine, babe,” She turns to give you a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing the car keys on the table, “are you worried about me?”

“Maybe.” You give a noncommittal answer before checking the clock. “Be home for dinner!”

“I will, I promise.” She walks away and grabs the doorknob before turning back to you. “Hey!”

“Hey what?”

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Gahyeon winks at you as you look away in embarrassment. 

It’s crazy that she still has this effect on you, years later.

She laughs before shutting the door as you stare at the front door to your apartment like a lovesick golden retriever waiting for their human to return.

You couldn’t wait for her to return back into your arms, so you could make dinner and spend the rest of your night together.

~

Four hours.

It had been four hours since Gahyeon left.

Should you be worried?

She would’ve texted, called, told you if she would’ve been late. Gahyeon expected the same of you, even though you weren’t the most prompt person at times. 

You should stop pacing before you have to add carpet replacement to your laundry list of things to buy. The sun had gone down, but that meant that traffic must’ve been heavy, right?

You need to take a walk before you worry yourself into an early grave.

You grab a light jacket before exiting your apartment. Taking a walk around the block has always helped clear your mind, but your heart pangs with a new hurt as Gahyeon always liked to go on walks with you.

She was fine, she had to be fine.

You round the corner, only to want to immediately retreat back into your home.

A car accident.

The worst part?

Gahyeon’s car was among the wreckage.

Police officers pushed the surrounding crowd back, and you scream when you see an EMT pick a bloody ring out from among the wreckage.

Not just any ring.

Her ring.

You can’t look anymore.

~

You hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks.

You hadn’t created anything since the day she died.

Three weeks.

Twenty-one days.

Five-hundred and four hours.

Thirty-thousand, two-hundred forty minutes.

You can’t breathe, can’t think.

You need to open a window.

The light casts a gentle glow over your apartment.

It’s a wreck. You’re a wreck. 

How fitting.

Your phone rings. It’s probably your mother, asking why you didn’t come to Sunday dinner for the third time in a row.

You can’t tell her about Gahyeon, you could barely face her parents and tell them what happened. You were choked up then, and you hadn’t felt much better since.

Your heart had been ripped from your chest.

You pick up your phone anyway.

“Do you want to see her again?” A deep male voice echoes from your phone speaker as you sigh.

“You have the wrong number. Have a good day.” You say with no emotion as the voice quickly replies.

“It’s Gahyeon. I have Gahyeon.”

“Who are you? Where is she?”

“Go to the bar where you first met. I’ll meet you there and take you to her.” 

“Hold on, how do I know you’re not-”

You pause as you hear the other line beep repeatedly. 

He hung up on me. What a dick.

~

“What do you want?” You gruffly ask as you slide into a booth opposite a man dressed in an all-black suit.

He fixes his silver locks for a moment before looking you up and down.

“You want the girl back?”

“Gahyeon,” You correct, “and I want her here as much as her family does.”

“Would you do anything for her?”

“Yes.” You answer immediately as the man smiles.

“Good, good.” He snaps his fingers as the scenery around you changes. 

You’re forced on your feet as the booth disappears behind you.

“What the fuck-” You look at the walls, which expand in every direction and then disappear behind walls of fire and stone.

The man walks forward as a set of stairs appears before him.

“Who are you?” You ask as the ground underneath you begins to shift.

“Death, not the devil.” He answers after sitting down on a throne made of fire and magma. “I have a proposition for you, since your love for Gahyeon has moved my wife. I’m feeling rather…. generous, shall we say?”

“What’s the catch?”

“You have to take the long way out, with you leading and her behind. You can’t look back to see if she’s there, you have to trust yourself and trust her. Understood?”

“I-” You pause while weighing your options.

Could you lead her out of Hell? A dangerous adventure, sure, but it would be worth it to bring her home.

“I accept.”

Death snaps his finger before a door to your left appears.

“Walk through that door and begin your journey.” 

You place your hand on the door before looking back at him.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me until you get to the other side.”

~

You didn’t expect walking through hell to be a cake walk, but you were absolutely exhausted. 

Who knows if death himself didn’t trick you in the first place? 

You couldn’t look to see if Gahyeon was behind you, and you couldn’t hear her speaking as well.

You just had to trust yourself and trust her.

You trusted Gahyeon, of course you did, but did you trust yourself enough that you wouldn’t have been fooled?

Everyone in hell is looking at you as you climb up towards the exit.

You can do this. You should do this.

Is she really behind me?

You should keep going. You have to keep going.

Your footsteps begin to slow as your breath becomes ragged. You were tired, but you were almost there.

You see the light, see everything that you would have again.

You reach out to embrace the light, you’re almost there.

Is she there?

Gahyeon gasps as your eyes connect with hers.

“You… were there.”

“I always was.” She softly answers before backing up towards the darkness.

“I made a mistake.” You try to reach out and grab her, but she’s fading away from you.

“I know.”

“I love you.” A tear falls from your eye as she disappears into nothingness.

“I know.”

Just like that, she was gone, and you were alone.

[atinylittlepain]

Summer Lovin

joel miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

she thought he was all hers. she was wrong. but revenge is always sweet, and a little melted.

warnings | 18+ smut, serious angst, Joel is a cheater in this one and gets what he deserves (within reason)

a/n | i don't have an explanation for this one, it just sorta happened, sorry about it.

...............................

Her hands are shaking all over the steering wheel, enough to force her into pulling off the highway before the tears can fracture her vision anymore. And all she can do is laugh, a bitter thing in her throat, because she’s turned into a complete cliche now. Idling on the shoulder of the road while the texas sun splits and sinks in the sky, crying like a fool over a man she shouldn’t have given the time of day to.

But he had been so sweet, hadn’t he? A bit hopeless when they met, standing in the frozen food aisle, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and cradling a cellphone to his ear with the other. She had made an offhanded comment that he seemed to be negotiating a hostage crisis when he hung up, a sheepish smile slanting across his face and a surprisingly earnest explanation that his twelve-year-old daughter had just gotten her first period and he had been screamed out the door for provisions.

“Don’t tell her I told you that though. Pretty sure she’d burst my eardrums for letting that slip.”

“Your secret’s safe with me. But could you use some help maybe?”

“I look that pitiful, huh?”

“Maybe just a little.” 

She was gone from the start, helping him pick out Ben and Jerry's and tampax pearls while he rambled about his daughter. Her smile spreading in sync with the flush creeping up his neck, typing her number into his phone while he leaned against the side of his truck, a nervous palm rubbing the back of his neck. He called her that night, cute and eager, wanting to thank her for the help, and to ask her out. And of course she said yes. Afterall, she had checked for a wedding ring. She thought she had been so clever for that. 

Three months, spring sliding into summer and something she thought was love slipping big and bright between her ribs. She got to know his daughter during weeknight dinners on their back porch, inside jokes zinging right over his head. And while Sarah was at her mom’s every weekend, Joel would invite her over and they’d spend the hours tangled up in his bed, bodies sticky and slick with sweat blown cool by the box fan in his window, talking in circles around each other, promises stamped into skin. 

“Don’t worry about it, darlin. We’re as good as divorced. She’s just dragging her feet signing the papers, that’s all. Haven’t lived together since Sarah was real little. I’m all yours.”

“It’s okay, Joel, I understand. It must be so hard, though, having to do all of this on your own, in a way.”

She scoffs at the sting of that memory, the way his palm had been trailing up and down her spine, the sigh he had let out at her words. She had interpreted it as a soulful weariness that only made her love him a little more. But there were warning signs too.

“Hey, darlin, I’m really sorry but I have to cancel tonight.” She was already pulling into his neighborhood when he called, new dress, the perfume he liked so much, a tray of brownies in the passenger seat, sprinkled with powdered sugar, how she knew Sarah liked them.

“Oh, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I think Sarah picked up a stomach bug at camp today is all.”

“Oh no, can I get you guys anything from the store? Soup? Ginger ale?” 

“That’s real sweet of you, darlin, but I don’t want you to catch anything. Can we take a raincheck though?” What a good father, what a good man. 

“Of course, Joel. Tell Sarah I hope she starts feeling better soon.” He had already hung up, quick and clipped. And when she drove past his house only a moment later, she could have sworn she saw Sarah in their backyard swinging on that old playset of hers. It had been easy enough to write off as a trick of the light and her eyes tired after a day of work. Though she couldn’t figure out whose car had been parked in his driveway, not his and not his brother’s. But he made good on his raincheck that Friday, showing up at her apartment in that button-down she liked so much and a bouquet in his hand, not letting her get a word in before he was pulling her into a hard kiss that made her forget to even ask if Sarah was feeling better. He was always good at that, pulling her apart, just a little overwhelming in the wander of his hands, his mouth, laying her down right on the floor of her tiny living room after kicking her front door shut.

“Missed you so bad. Been thinking about you all week. Thinking about this pussy. How sweet she gets for me. Just for me, huh?” Already mouthing at her clit through the cotton of her panties, his words thrumming up her spine, making her hips jolt in the heavy hold of his palms. 

“Yes, Joel, it’s all for you, fuck, you’re so good.” So, so, so good, stripping her down and settling back between her thighs, tongue dragging through her cunt, a hum in his throat as he held the insistent heat of his mouth against her core, pulling pleasure from her like he owned it. The ropes of muscle in his forearm jumping, holding her down by her pelvis, not letting up until she was shaking with it, his scruff scraping against the inside of her thigh, a small mercy in the kiss he pressed there. 

“Are we seriously about to fuck on the floor?”

“What’s wrong with the floor?”

“Joel.” Total theatrics with the roll of his eyes, a petulant huff as he got up, dragging her along with him. a fumbling tangle into her bedroom, making her laugh with his feigned meanness in throwing them down onto the sheets, wide eyes and breathless beats.

“That better, darlin?” No answer, too busy tugging him out of his clothes, his cock solid and warm against her thigh. Always a stretch, pleasure mingling and mixing up with pain with the press of his hips against hers. Always careful, considerate, pressing kisses to her sternum while she opened up around him, whispering into her skin.

“Feel so good for me, darlin. Like you were made just for me.” She felt like it too, like she’d never had anything like this before. The obscene slap of slicked skin, swallowing each other’s gasps as he pushed and pulled them through a hard rhythm. Her ankles hooked around his hips, open, wanting, receiving everything he gave her, the both of them sinking their teeth into each other’s pleasure, furling up close and unraveling all at once with each other’s names held in their throats. She had told him she loved him that night, in the after of it all, her chest pressed to his back, limbs tangled up. But he didn’t respond, already asleep.

Her cell phone ringing startles her out of the past, but when she sees who it is she tosses it back into the passenger seat. And her mind settles into something like disbelief, replaying the day. How differently it began compared to how it ended. 

She woke up that morning with anticipation thick in her stomach for what the day ahead would bring. She thought it was a big step, the step, inviting her to a family cookout. Playing house with the Millers. Sarah and her in the kitchen most of the morning, crockpots bubbling and watermelons split while he and his brother putzed around in the backyard with the grill, some frivolous joke about men regressing to the stone age lobbed out easy and effortless. And then people started coming, coworkers and friends and all the rest and Joel wouldn’t look at her and she wore her new sundress so he would but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t and she worried over the potato salad and the kebabs like maybe she could make right whatever she had clearly made wrong. Something about a man’s heart in his stomach, right? 

Everyone else eating and she couldn’t find him in the crowd, Tommy telling her he ran out to get ice cream from the HEB for dessert just as she slipped in the front door. She nearly laughed because why was she here? Who invites their ex-wife to a family cookout? 

And then, and then, and then.

“You must be the babysitter Joel mentioned. I admit I thought Sarah was a little too old for that but she absolutely loves you so thank you for helping out.”

And then, and then, and then.

“Hi, Tommy! It’s good to see you.”

And then, and then, and then.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you? We’ve decided to make another go of it after some time off. We haven’t told Sarah yet, but I think it will be good for all of us.”

And then.

“-- a family again. It’s right, don’t you think?”

And then.

“Sorry, what did you say your name was? I hope Joel is paying you well, and if he’s not, you come to me, okay? There’s gonna be some changes around here, but I’d love for you to stay on for our Sarah.” 

And then.

Out the door, white noise in her ears so loud she only barely thought to grab her keys and shuffle into her flip flops. Out the door and into her car and driving to the same HEB she met him in three months ago being a good father and a good man and a little hopeless and–

She pulled in right as he was walking out of the store, a placid expression on his face, not a care in the world. 

“Darlin? What–”

“Do not call me that.”

“What, what is it? Baby, please don’t cry.” A sick feeling in her stomach at the pull toward him, that tiny want for him to comfort her, to make it all better, quickly seared and singed into more anger.

“Were you gonna tell me, Joel? Or were you just gonna see how long you could keep this little game going, huh? Is that it? You think you’re so smart? Not gonna get caught fucking the babysitter?” Instant recognition sliding down his face, the quick slip of it made her laugh as his eyes darted around the parking lot.

“Let’s talk like adults, okay? There’s no need to make a scene.”

“Oh, fuck you. That’s what you're worried about though, right? That someone’s gonna see. Worried someone’s gonna go tell your wife what you’ve been up to all summer, huh?” His jaw slack, an answer in his silence. She shook her head, anger simmering beneath the hurt.

“Did you care about me at all?”

“Of course I did, I do. Darlin, please, I just got confused, let me–”

“Don’t do that.”

“Please, I’ll–”

“No, Joel. We are done, do you understand me? I care about Sarah too much to let any of this go on any longer. You know what? I just hope that your wife has a good enough head to figure it out for herself. I hope she leaves you, I really do.” Hurt crumpled across his face and she wanted more of it, wanted to dig her thumb into it and twist.

“I– loved– you– you– fucking– lying– lowlife– bastard.” She’s not sure how it happened, though it would be the topic of conversation at the neighborhood women’s book club for weeks to come. Some young thing tearing into Joel Miller, smacking him six ways to Sunday with her flip flop in the grocery store parking lot. Cornering him against the side of his pickup truck, big strong man curled up with his hands over his head as she rained down perfect hellfire on him. He had dropped his grocery bag, two gallon containers of ice cream sweating out in the summer sun, her bare foot stepping sticky into a puddle of vanilla. 

“Don’t you ever do anything like this to anyone ever again, Joel Miller.” The grand finale, that ice cream of his melted enough that it was too easy to pick up a carton, pop off the lid, and dump the dribbling liquid over the top of his head before primly shoving her flip flop back on and getting in her car. 

She finds herself laughing through a throat heavy with snot, the image of him in her mind, blinking hard through a thick stream of slurried ice cream, shoulders up to his ears, pure shock in his shudder. 

“Worth it.” One thing that goes right today, she leans over to rummage through her glove compartment, sighing when she finds the nearly empty carton of cigarettes, lighter tucked into the crumpled box. She quit two months ago, secondhand smoke around Sarah and all that. But how easy it is now to roll down her window and take a crackling drag that she blows out into the fading afternoon, smoke whipped away by the endless whir of cars passing by. Peace in the inhale and exhale, promptly disrupted by her phone ringing again. Cigarette dangling between her lips, she scoffs between her teeth. Ten missed calls. She doesn’t even listen to the voicemails, simply chucks the thing out her window along with her cigarette butt and shifts her car back into drive.

She’ll be okay.

[kinardsevan]

so I'm a little obsessed with this song right now:

and I was having a hell of a time considering I struggle to write anything related to breaking up our bb's. BUT.

Hear me out. SalTommy/BuckAli. Sometime post s2. Buck and Tommy meet in a bar. Tommy has just finished his flight training and is in the process of transferring to Harbor. He and Sal have had this thing going on for a few years now, but Sal has always had his whole thing of "if the right girl comes along, I'm out". And for a while he's been with this girl, noncommittal (or so he told Tommy), but he's asked her to marry him and he's in line to get promoted to captain, and even though Tommy had this idea that they would find a way to make it work, it's definitely not happening now. His new coworkers are telling him to just get back out there (they know whoever Tommy was dating burned him but he never told them who it was).

Evan is in between surgeries, still not able to start rehabbing to go back to work. Initially, he was still staying in contact with Eddie and all, but since he can't be at work and hearing about it just depresses him, he's mostly only hanging out with Maddie (and occasionally Chimney by relation).

Long story short, Tommy's had a blow-off fight with Sal after Sal tells him that he's proposed to his girlfriend, and Ali has told Evan for good that she wants out. They both end up at a mostly empty bar on a random weeknight drinking alcohol to drown their sorrows. Tommy sorta knows who Evan is because of the news, but that's it. They start talking, start recognizing something in one another and always being the ones who get left behind.

Drunk sex happens at the loft. Tommy gets up to leave because he's used to that with Sal, but Evan does something to twinge his leg, and Tommy can't leave him that way. And somehow the guy who always has to leave and the one who's used to being left behind end up in this situation where Tommy stays. And they write it off as casual sex even though they actually like hanging out. They won't call it a relationship because they're both scared of losing each other. But Tommy shows up for Evan's last surgery, starts making him hang out with his friends more, gets called out by Chimney for the two clearly being in a relationship even though they won't call it that. Dance dangerously close to calling it love.

Tommy gets an invite to Sal's wedding around the time Evan gets his recert. The embolism happens, and Tommy's pissed first because Sal sent him the invite, but then that Evan was so reckless with his own life that he'd put his job before his life (this is where we get I love you, I'm not leaving). Tommy backs his decision to fight against Bobby's decision to keep him from returning to active duty.

And then...idk. Maybe he still sues the city. Maybe Tommy talks him into transferring to Harbor. Somewhere in there, Sal turns up to try and make up with Tommy, apologize for the way he ended things, but he runs into Evan instead, who really isn't cool with how he hurt Tommy. Ali gets the same treatment when she hears through the grapevine that Evan can't go back to active duty.

...that's all I got.

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to discuss the latest episode of 9-1-1. This reaction is for the season 7, sixth episode “There Goes the Groom” which originally aired May 2, 2024. The episode was written by Tim Minear and Nicole Barraza Kiem and directed by John J. Gray. Just a word of warning, this reaction will contain spoilers. You have been warned …

“He’s Tubbs, I’m Tubbs and this isn’t my puke, I don’t think.” – Eddie Diaz to Maddie Buckley

We start things off at a gorgeous venue where Maddie and Chimney’s wedding is to take place. We see Bobby and Athena looking restless and John and Anne Lee sitting with Jee-Yun. We then see Maddie freaking out because the boys (Chimney, Buck, and Eddie) are 30 minutes late. Phillip Buckley (played by Gregory Harrison) tries calling Buck’s phone but keeps getting his voicemail. Hen rushes in to tell Maddie that Buck’s car has arrived. When Maddie asks if Chimney is in his tux, Hen tells her she didn’t get a good look. Buck and Eddie arrive looking like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Eddie’s covered in someone else’s puke (gross!!!) and inexplicably missing his shirt. This season is all about giving us what we need and what we need is Ryan Guzman shirtless. Maddie asks them about Chimney. Buck tells her that it’s complicated. 

Cue title card.

We get a flashback to the bachelor party Buck organized for Chimney. It should be pointed out that Chimney doesn’t want a bachelor party, something he’s intimated to Buck numerous times. I must say, the venue Buck chose to host the festivities was really cool-looking. There were all these neon signs on the walls and twinkly lights galore. It reminded me of a space where you’d play laser tag. Buck and Eddie are dressed in matching pastel Miami Vice-esque suits and Buck is being very fussy about everything. Tommy (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.) arrives dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans and Buck nags him about not sticking to the 80’s theme. I’m gonna assume that Tommy is in his late-30’s and therefore Buck should be lucky he even came in the first place because the thought of leaving my house on a weeknight to go to a bachelor party does not sound the least bit appealing. Eddie offers Tommy a drink and he tells him he’s on standby which for all you kiddies out there who don’t know how jobs work, standby means that you’re technically not scheduled for the shift, but you have to be ready in case you get called in to work.  

“You put that back, right now.” – Evan “Buck” Buckley to Ravi Panikkar

Tommy does give us a hint about Chimney’s nickname when he reminds Eddie that he knew Chimney before he was Chimney. I love the whole mythos surrounding the name and I hope by the end of the series we finally get an explanation. I also like how sassy Tommy is in this scene. Hen, Karen, and Ravi arrive but our guest of honor is missing. While Buck calls Chimney’s cell, everyone else looks bored out of their mind. Buck asks Hen to call Chimney since he’s more likely to answer her call, but she declines. She reminds Buck that Chimney told him he didn’t want a bachelor party, but Buck tells her he didn’t. We then get a small scene where Chimney doesn’t mince words when he tells Buck he does not want a bachelor party. It should be noted that Eddie is present for the exchange and yet he is the one to suggest to Buck that they dress as Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice. Now, this is my one pet peeve about Eddie. He always indulges Buck and then kind of absolves himself of responsibility when things go awry. 

Back in the not-so-distant future, people start to leave. Buck begs Hen and Karen to stay but they tell him they have to get home to Denny and Mara. Ravi is the next to leave followed by Tommy who gets a text to report to work. Buck is so disappointed to see him go, and I love how he tells Tommy to be safe before he leaves. Eddie is the only one left and when a group of young women wander into their party space, they decide to salvage the rest of the night by turning up with a bunch of strangers. Now, prior to the episode airing, Tim Minear announced that a previously advertised scene involving Buck and Eddie singing karaoke was cut due to the episode being too long. This led to more than a few irate fans, mostly Buddie shippers, sending a barrage of tweets and comments to the series co-creator voicing their frustration with the decision to remove the scene. Some even accused the writers of queer baiting which is really dumb when you consider that one of the characters is actually queer so what baiting is even involved. I get being upset because your favorite pairing on the show is not being featured as prominently as you would like but I find it absurd that someone would then go to Beyonce’s internet to harass the writers and the cast about said decision. I find it disgusting and I wish a certain ship would realize that certain writers would take them more seriously if they weren’t acting like a bunch of coked up baboons. But I digress.

Buck and Eddie wake up the next morning in a completely trashed hotel room. The place is wrecked. Seriously, who is going to pay for all the damages? I’m honestly surprised by both of their behavior. Especially Eddie’s. He’s usually the more level-headed of the two but it’s odd to see him exhibiting such frat boy behavior. Perhaps he needed to blow of some steam. Anywho, they go to check on Chimney but only find his tux. Oh dear!

Buck and Eddie wake up the morning in a completely trashed hotel room. Seriously, who is going to have to pay for all the damages? I’m extremely surprised by Eddie’s behavior. 

“I am 9-1-1.” – Maddie Buckley to Margaret Buckley

Back in the present, Maddie tries calling Chimney herself. When he doesn’t pick up, Hen asks if she has him on Find My Friend, a feature that will send current or last location to anyone you choose to share it with. She sees that Chimney is on Century Park East but wonders why he’s there.

We next see a guy named Jeff (played by Khorri Ellis) knocking on the driver’s side window of Chimney’s vehicle. Chimney is inside looking a little worse for wear. He’s sweaty and bleary-eyed. He looks like he has the flu. He also seems out of it. Chimney rolls down the window and Jeff asks him if he’s okay. He tells Jeff that he feels like he should be somewhere. Jeff asks him his name and Chimney says his name is Howard. Chimney says he needs to leave but Jeff, rightfully, tells him he is no condition to be driving. He offers to drive Chimney where he needs to go and when Chimney steps outside the vehicle, Jeff gets in, chucks Chimney’s cell out the window, and drives off leaving Chimney stranded. 

FOUR DAYS AGO

“I promise to never put her in a position where she feels she needs to stab me to death.” – Howard “Chimney” Han to John and Anne Lee

We see Chimney with John and Anne Lee (played by Kelvin Han Yee and Freda Foh Shen) practicing Jesa, a Korean ceremony in which one pays tribute to a loved one on the anniversary of their death. I love any time we get to see Chimney with the Lees because while he has been able to make amends with his father, John and Anne Lee are his real parents and Kevin Lee, their son, is his brother. Chimney and the Lees have dinner together and Anne asks Chimney if he is excited about the wedding. When Chimney goes to respond, his hand starts shaking and he drops his food. John jokingly asks if he’s nervous, but Chimney assures him that he doesn’t have the jitters. He is, however, feeling jittery and tells them he has a headache he can’t seem to shake. Anne offers him aspirin, but Chimney tells her that he will be fine after he says, “I do”. 

John asks him about what happened to him and Maddie’s plan to have a simple ceremony at their home. Chimney tells him that the plan has changed. Phillip and Maddie Buckley are flying out for the wedding and have offered to foot the bill for the venue since they were not at Maddie’s first wedding. Anne says they waited to attend the right wedding. Chimney makes a dark joke about Maddie having to kill her first husband Doug and the Lees laugh. Chimney says he looking forward to having a traditional wedding; however, there is one tradition he is not looking forward to and that’s having a bachelor party. 

Back in the present, Chimney sees his phone lying in the middle of a busy road. We see him walk into traffic to retrieve it and he almost gets hit by a bus. The driver opens the door and Chimney boards the bus. When she pulls off, the wheels of the bus crush Chimney’s phone. 

We head over to the wedding venue where everyone except for Chimney is gathered. It was so fun seeing all of the main and secondary cast in the same scene together in their formal wear. Athena gets a call from Officer Williams (played by Chris Wu) who has located Chimney’s phone but neither Chimney nor his car is with it. Athena asks him to put out a BOLO for Chimney and his car. Maddie asks Officer Williams if there are any traffic cameras nearby and he says there are a few. 

Maddie, Hen, and Josh go to the dispatch center. Maddie says she will check the Century Park East traffic cam footage to see if she can find Chimney and Josh will check the call logs to see if there have been any calls from that vicinity in the last 12 hours.  Sue sees them and asks if this is a runaway bride situation. Hen tells her they are looking for a runaway groom. 

Back on the bus, Chimney is clearly not in his right mind because he is hallucinating Doug Kendall (played by Brian Hallisay). Doug sits next to him, and Chimney asks if he knows him. Doug says that Chimney may forget everything else, but he could never forget him. Doug is wearing a Santa hat and has a gift he says is from the both of them to Maddie. He opens the bag and pulls out of knife which he uses to stab Chimney in the side. Even though I knew that Doug wasn’t real, that didn’t make this scene any less troubling to watch. Doug twists the blade and disappears leaving a confused Chimney alone on the bus. 

“Maybe I got too caught up in the dream wedding. I was so excited about marrying him.” – Maddie Buckley to Hen Wilson

Meanwhile, reviews the camera footage and sees Chimney walking into traffic. She sees him almost get hit by a bus and then board said bus. Josh says the bus is a metro bus and asks if there’s any way they can see the bus ID number. Maddie writes down the number and gives it to Sue who tells her she will call the MTA. We then see Chimney get dropped off in an unfamiliar part of town. We switch back to dispatch where Maddie and Hen are reviewing the footage from inside the bus. I love seeing these two work together because out of all of our characters, these two love Chimney the most. Maddie notices that Chimney’s talking to himself, and Hen thinks he may be hallucinating. Maddie wonders if this is some sort of delayed reaction to his brain injury from back in season one or if he’s having some sort of breakdown. Hen reminds Maddie that when Chimney gets stressed, he deflects. Maddie wonders if Chimney marrying her is the thing that’s stressing him out, but Hen quickly lets her know that marrying her is the one thing he wasn’t stressed about. She tells Maddie that the only thing she’s sure of at the moment is that Chimney can’t wait to marry her. 

Josh returns and tells them that he talked to the bus driver who says that Chimney seemed a little out of it but otherwise normal. The bus driver also said that Chimney kept talking about being late for work. Hen points out that the bus Chimney was on wouldn’t go anywhere near the firehouse and wonders where he could have been dropped off at. Speaking of Chimney, we see him standing out in front of a building. He talks to a man named Carl (played by Exie Booker) and asks him about Skinny Bob’s K-Town Karaoke. For those of you who recall the episode “Chimney Begins” that is the name of the bar where Chimney used to work prior to joining the 118. Carl tells Chimney the bar burned down which we saw in the very same episode. Chimney has flashes of the night the bar burned down but he can’t quite piece together the memory. The make matters worse, he starts to see Doug again only this time his future wife’s dead husband is covered in blood. Chimney freaks out and runs away.

“”We’re gonna find him, Maddie.” – Athena Grant to Maddie Buckley

Athena checks in with Maddie and Hen and tells them she talked to Carl who says that Chimney looked agitated and feverish. Carl also told Athena that Chimney thought that the bakery where Carl works was a karaoke bar. Athena tells them that she has some officers searching the area and she and Bobby plan to stick around just in case Chimney comes back. She assures Maddie that they will find Chimney. Josh reminds them that Chimney’s bachelor party was at a bachelor party; however, Maddie points out that the bachelor party was the night before. Sue asks if it is possible Chimney doesn’t know what day it is. Hen chimes in and says she’s not sure if he even knows what year it is. She pulls up an article from 2005 on her phone which shows that Chimney saved a lot of people by getting them out of the karaoke bar when it caught on fire. Maddie wonders if he’s forgotten 20 years of his life and Hen says he might not be the only one.

TWO WEEKS AGO

“You don’t have to worry about this. It’s all taken care of.” – Evan Buckley to Maddie Buckley

We get another flashback scene, this one involving the 118 responding to an emergency where Thom DeSalvo (played by Brandon Bales) is trapped inside an air duct. Buck broaches the topic of Chimney’s bachelor party and the latter volunteers himself to go into the air duct while the rest go inside the room directly beneath where Thom is trapped. Chimney locates Thom and checks his vitals. Thom tells him that his heart is racing, and he has chest pains. He then sneezes directly into Chimney’s face. Chimney tells Thom to relax but he says he cannot relax because he just saw his fiancée having sex with another man. I kind of felt bad for Thom because he is truly heartbroken although if I were his friend, I wouldn’t have advised that he go spy on them. Meanwhile, Bobby, Hen, Eddie, and Buck are able to knock out a portion of the ceiling and lower Thom down. As he is loaded into an ambulance, Hen talks to the woman Thom said was his fiancée and discovers that she is, in fact, not his fiancée. She says that Thom is her ex-husband and that they’ve been divorced for 17 months. 

Back in the present, Buck brings Maddie a change of clothes and Eddie brings food. Buck notices that Hen is on the phone, and he asks Maddie who she is speaking with. Maddie tells him that Hen is checking on the patient Thom from their emergency two weeks ago.  Eddie is surprised the guy is still in the hospital since he wasn’t even hurt. Maddie tells them that Hen thinks that Chimney is exhibiting the same behaviors as Thom. Hen announces that Thom had viral encephalitis that he picked up while in Central America. Buck points out that Chimney was in close quarters with Thom. Eddie suggests they all get checked to see if they have it. Hen points out that Chimney was the only one who had direct exposure to Thom. Josh asks her what the prognosis is and Hen says that if Chimney were in a hospital it would be good but every minute that passes without treatment, the swelling in his brain gets worse. If Chimney does not get medical attention ASAP, he is going to suffer permanent brain damage and most likely die. Maddie asks her about Thom Desalvo’s status and Hen tells her that he died earlier that morning.

“He may not remember who he is but he is who he is.” – Athena Grant to Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley, and Eddie Diaz

We see Chimney wandering the streets of Koreatown in a state of delirium. He nearly gets hit by a car and the driver, who is either under the influence or experiencing a medical emergency, plows into a farmers’ market, hurting a lot of people in the process. The paramedic switch is flipped in Chimney, and he springs into action. He tells a woman to call 9-1-1 and tends to the driver who is having a seizure. It’s amazing that Chimney is able to stay focused to help everyone, even while in the midst of his own medical emergency. This scene reminds me of when Mateo on Lone Star jumped into action during the dust storm back in season two.

Athena, Bobby, Buck, and Eddie arrive on the scene of the accident and Bobby reports that a man fitting Chimney’s description was on the scene triaging the area. Eddie thinks this means that Chimney knows who he is but Bobby quickly adds that Chimney told one of the witnesses he works at a karaoke bar. Athena sees this as a good sign regardless because Chimney is tapping into something that is so natural to him which is helping others. Bobby says that Chimney was last seen 30 minutes ago so he suggests that they canvass the area to look for him. Athena says she will get the police involved in the search as well. 

Buck strikes off on his own to look for Chimney and he does end up at the spot where Chimney is at; unfortunately, Chimney is passed out, so he does not hear Buck calling for him. Chimney receives another visit from Doug who tries to convince him that Maddie left him. Chimney remembers the video Maddie left him before she left for Boston. Doug tells Chimney he is sick in the head and that he screwed around with a married woman. Chimney then sees himself lying on the ground after he got stabbed by Doug back in season two. Doug tells him to stop fighting and to go to sleep. Chimney eventually passes out and sees a white light.

“Howie, you got to get up, man.” – Kevin Lee to Howard “Chimney” Han

Now this is the part where I started to tear up in the episode. A man dressed in turnout gear steps out of the light and Chimney sees that it’s Kevin Lee (played by James Chen). It is in this moment I realized that we never saw Chimney grieve his fallen brother. Chimney starts to cry upon seeing Kevin. Kevin tells him to get up and Chimney says he is so tired and that his head is hurting. He wants to rest but Kevin says he cannot. He tells Chimney he is sick and needs medical attention. Chimney touches Kevin’s face and tells him he misses him and that he’s glad he’s okay. Kevin tells Chimney that he will be okay, but he needs to get up. He drags Chimney to his feet and tells him that Doug was never there. Chimney says that Kevin is there, and Kevin says that Chimney invited him. Kevin tells him all he needs to do is get home. 

“We always find our way back to each other somehow.” – Maddie Buckley to Howard “Chimney” Han

Chimney ends up at the Lees house asking for Kevin Lee. Anne tells him that Kevin is dead. Chimney starts crying again and finally collapses onto the floor. He wakes up in the hospital where Maddie is at his bedside. She asks him if he knows where he is at and he shakes his head. She asks him if he knows who he is and he apologizes for missing their wedding. Maddie starts crying and now I’m crying, too. Maddie is happy he remembers. Jee-Yun runs into the room with Phillip Buckley close on her heels. Chimney tells Maddie he was trying to get back to her and Jee-Yun the whole time. Chimney asks Maddie if she will marry him, and she says she will the minute they get out of the hospital. He asks her when that will be, and she says the doctors say it will be three weeks. Chimney tells her he doesn’t want to wait that long. He doesn’t want to wait another minute.

We next see Maddie back in her wedding dress. I must say, the viewers give Phillip and Margaret Buckley a hard time based on their previous relationships with Maddie and Buck, but I have to say it was so nice seeing the Buckley family together and on the same page. Back in Chimney’s room, John and Anne Lee are helping him into get into his tuxedo jacket. John tells Chimney that Kevin is smiling right now, and Chimney agrees. Okay, cue more tears. While Jennifer Love Hewitt sings a cover of “Islands in the Stream” which is the song Maddie and Chimney sang karaoke to, we see Maddie being walked down the hospital corridor by Phillip while flower girl Jee-Yun walks ahead of them. Phillip leads Maddie into Chimney’s room and Bobby officiates their wedding which feels so appropriate. They exchange vows and rings and finally kiss in front of their family and friends. I loved the moment when Bobby is talking about the significance of the rings, and he looks over at Athena. It’s just a reminder of how perfect the couples on this show are.

“Thanks, Tommy. It looks like you were … busy.” – Howard “Chimney” Han to Tommy Kinard

Buck gets a text and leaves the room while everyone is applauding Chimney and Maddie’s union. He makes it to the emergency room just in time to see Tommy walk through the sliding doors. Tommy is covered in soot and ash and immediately apologizes for being late. He tells Buck that the fire he just fought was a beast. Buck calls him a beast and kisses him. Now this kiss was an upgrade from the kiss two episodes ago which is already a great kiss. It was a great first kiss. With this kiss, the passion was turned all the way up to an 11. Seriously, these two have such amazing chemistry and I love how things are gradually escalating. I do love that Buck is the one who initiates the kiss because it shows that he is all in on their romance. 

Buck and Tommy head back to Chimney’s room aka the wedding and Tommy immediately apologizes for missing the wedding. He congratulates Chimney and Maddie and Chimney thanks him. There’s this amazing moment when Chimney puts two and two together and realizes that Buck and Tommy are together. He is immediately accepting as I knew he would be and Hen whispers to Karen that it’s about damn time and of course Hen already knew because Hen is very perceptive. We get other reactions as well. Eddie looks both proud and happy for his best friend and Margaret gives her husband Phillip a look that says, does that mean what I think it means and Phillip looks content. As I mentioned before, the Buckleys get a bad rep by the fans but I am choosing to see this as a good sign of things to come. 

We end the episode with Maddie and Chimney. She asks him how he is feeling, and he tells her he is feeling right at home. She jokes and asks if that’s because every significant moment of their lives happens in a hospital. He tells her that he feels at home because they are together. He looks around the room and says it’s not the most romantic place for their honeymoon. Maddie says there’s worst and at the same time they say upside down cruise ships. Ha! Maddie looks at her ring and says she can’t believe they are married. She says it’s the wedding of her dreams and Chimney says it’s a day he’ll never forget. Chimney asks Maddie if Buck and Tommy were a thing before his amnesia and she says yes. He says that means his memory is back. In the last moment of the episode. Chimney asks Maddie about the meaning behind his name and then it fades to black. I guess we will have to wait to find out how Chimney got his infamous nickname.

So, that’s our episode and what an amazing episode it was. Looking back at the promo for “There Goes the Groom”, Tim Minear and Company really had me convinced that we were getting an homage to The Hangover. I was not expecting this episode to be as heartbreaking and heartwarming as it was. Shout out to Kenneth Choi who deserves his flowers. He not only delivered some of the most powerful moments of the episode, looking back, Kenneth has been constantly delivering since season one. The scene where he talks to Kevin shattered my heart into pieces only to superglue it back. Chimney is usually the comic relief of the show and it’s often been said that comedians are some of the most unhappy people on the planet. Who knew he was holding onto so much grief. In many ways this episode reminds me of last season’s “In Another Life” where Buck learns just how valuable he is to those around him. Chimney has a similar journey in this episode and thankfully he’s walking away from this horrific ordeal knowing just how loved he is by his family, his friends, and most importantly his wife. 

The Madney wedding wasn’t what I was expecting but it was better than anything I could’ve ever imagined. One thing I think the writers did well with this wedding that I wished they did with TK and Carlos’ wedding over on Lone Star is the joy aspect. Everyone in that hospital room was filled with love and happiness despite everything that had transpired. I love how once a season we get these moments where the cast is all together, celebrating, and it’s the rare occasion we get to see the actors come through their characters. This is a cast that loves each other and it’s so apparent. It’s one of the many reasons I love this show. But, I digress. Maddie and Chimney’s wedding was absolutely beautiful and had we not gone through all the drama and tragedy, we would’ve missed out on Bobby being the officiant. It makes total sense that our fearless leader would be the one to marry Chimney and Maddie. I look forward to what happens next for Chimney and Maddie. These two have endured so much trauma and heartache and I pray the writers leave them alone for awhile. 

Lastly, I have to talk about the moment that has set both Twitter and Tumblr ablaze albeit for different reasons. Many have doubted and still doubt the legitimacy of Buck and Tommy’s burgeoning relationship, but I think this episode made it abundantly clear these two are here to stay at least for the rest of this season. I don’t know what plans Tim Minear has for these two characters but I love the slow burn of it all. Sometimes I’ll be sitting, doing nothing, and it’ll dawn on me that Evan “Buck” Buckley is bisexual, and he is dating a kind, patient, and extremely hot firefighter named Tommy Kinard. And maybe it’s my imagination but this is the happiest Buck has ever looked. The smile he gives after he comes back to Chimney’s room with Tommy is something I will rewatch this episode over and over again just to see again. Oliver and Lou’s chemistry is off the charts and that shouldn’t suggest that there’s anything wrong with Oliver and Ryan’s chemistry. I think Oliver has chemistry with everyone he appears on screen with. And, as the mostly one-sided war rages on between Buddie shippers and BuckTommy/Tevan/Kinley shippers, I think at the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that Buck is bisexual, he is (mostly) out, and he is happy. We have seen this man endure emotional and physical turmoil since episode one. I’m happy that he gets to be happy and that’s what matters. I cannot wait to see what happens next. Until next time …

[5sos-fic-fest]

2024 5sos Fic Fest Masterlist

We had a total of 14 fics posted for this round of the fest, spanning a variety of pairings, lengths, and genres! There’s a collection on AO3 that can be found here, and tumblr posts are linked in this masterlist!  If you read, try to show the author some love by leaving kudos, comments, and reblogging their post!

We Could Be Anything by @kittenclifford (E, 14k, muke)

It’s become a habit now, a routine, almost normal for Luke to find himself outside of his dorm room, on the wrong side of the door, in the middle of the night on a weeknight. It was the third time this week (and it was only Wednesday) that Luke had been sexiled from his own dorm room by his roommate Calum. But he had to admit, Luke didn't mind being exiled nearly as much as he let on, because it meant that he got to spend time on the floor above. With Michael. Or: college AU where Luke's sexile from his dorm room leads him to Michael's room instead; from the floor to the bed, from friends to lovers

heart is gonna flatline || l.h. by @takemealivelh (M, 7k, luke x oc)

tour puts luke and lucy’s feelings to the test. addiction to sex, alcohol and weed for when things get hard. SMUT.

the cat's plan by @kaleidoscopeminds (T, 11k, cake)

Calum would like it to go on the record that Luke never wanted to keep the cat in the first place. Luke would argue that’s not entirely true. Not that it matters anyway, because when Calum shows up in their flat after work, hoodie soaked through, a pitiful mewing coming from his pocket and a beseeching look in his eyes, there was no way Luke would have had it in him to say no.

on purpose by @burstingsunrise (T, 20k, cake)

The desire to kiss Luke is overwhelming. Calum knows he looks ridiculous right now, but Luke’s right there, face inches away, smiling fondly at Calum’s stupid face caught between his careful palms. His eyes are different too. He’s not looking at Calum like he wants to fuck him. He’s looking at Calum like he wants to gently cradle Calum in his giant hands like a baby chick. Somehow, that’s even worse.

there's something that you should know by @cxmp-writes (T, 4k, malum)

Every summer, skater boys Calum and Michael travel to a sleepaway camp like no other — Camp Woodward — to hone their skills, meet new friends, and take their talents to the next level. But it's what they're not expecting that will change their lives forever.

Under the Moonlight by @ashtons-lemon-tree (T, 682, mashton)

Ashton reveals his feelings for Michael at a party celebrating their album release

the story needs some mending (and a better happy ending) by @clumsyclifford (T, 5k, mashton)

“‘Let's see a witch,’” Ashton says. “‘It’ll be fine, Ashton. What could go wrong?’” “I didn't say witch, I said psychic! How was I meant to know she was both?” “From the sign!” Ashton says, gesturing emphatically at an A-board whose advertised PSYCHIC/WITCH SERVICES couldn't be more clearly outlined. Michael tries to grumble but only manages a rumbly croak. “Look, you're fine. I'm the one who’s a bloody frog.” “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” Ashton sing-songs.

caught beneath the landslide by @starvinginbelair (E, 4k, lashton)

“You wanted to hear the playlist,” Ashton says, voice low and gravelly.  He shoves the plastic CD case back onto the shelf, the one that once housed this damned CD that’s spinning music around them right now, that Luke should’ve never asked about in the first place.  “This is the playlist.” “I don’t want your number no,” the CD croons, clearly unaware of whatever the hell it is that’s going on right now.  “I don’t wanna give you mine and nooooooooo.” “I didn’t think you’d put No Scrubs on it,” Luke counters, sticking his thumb in his mouth to bite at the edges of his nails.

may the best man win by @lovesosweeet (T, 20k, calum x oc)

competing for the best toast at their best friends' wedding, calum and tanner go from being pretend rivals to... something like friends. maybe a little more? may the best man win.

the skies falling down (end of the world) by @sup3rbloom (T, 4k, lashton)

Luke is severely hurt, and Ashton is desperate to find something to heal his best friend. He's on the brink of giving up when he meets Michael and Calum, who happen to be from a community that has medical supplies.

Fell In Love With a Boy at the Rock Show by @bandtra5h (M, 4k, malum)

Michael came to Calum with a request, a huge best friend favor: “Calum I need you to drive me Vegas!” Or Michael impulsively buys tickets to an emo festival in Las Vegas to meet up with a girl he's been talking to on Discord, but has no idea how he's gonna get there. Luckily, Calum has a car...

running from something (running back to you) by @the-technorats (M, 23k, lashton)

Luke should have died a long time ago. He’s had every chance to, and somehow he just keeps evading it. Being in the Hunger Games, though, seems like it should be the final nail in his excruciatingly, meticulously constructed coffin. Or, the one where Luke is the District Four male tribute for the Hunger Games and he loses everything. Everything, that is, except for Ashton.

Always In Spring by @chamaleonsoul (M, 17k, cake)

Luke and Calum’s friendship has gone through many highs and lows, and it’s so full of parallels and full-circle moments that it’s almost like the universe is set to make sure they grow, love and stay together.

vampire?! (should have known it was strange you only come out at night) by @igarbagecannoteven (T, 2k, muke)

“What I’m trying to say is, it’s awesome that your family has this whole ‘goth mad scientist finally got paid for all the Frankensteins they’ve made’ type vibe going on, but if you plan on bringing someone home to meet the parents, you should give them a heads up. It was a little hard to appreciate the coolness when I was trying to figure out if I was going to end up as Cult Victim Number Two.” “What made you decide that’s not going to happen?” Luke asked. Michael thought about Calum’s texts and shrugged. “Honestly? Still not a hundred percent sure it’s not. But if you’re doing the sacrificing, I don’t know if I’d mind.”

Thank you to all of the participants!

[foster-the-world]

Baby boy loves to play the animal guessing game in the car. Everyone asks the person who picked an animal questions about the animal until you guess what it is. Baby boy cannot contain his excitement and always immediately tells us what animal. I'll say is it big or small? He'll answer small. Then scream out the answer and say "I won, I won. You didn't guess"

When guessing our animals its always very specific animals he learned about from Wild Kratts or Creature cases. No, I was not thinking of the Hawk billed turtle, the American flying squirrel or the snowshoe hare. It cracks us up everytime.

I'm thinking we don't love Bee's teachers this year. Just a few things I've heard that I've been unimpressed with. It was bound to happen one year or another. Trying not to worry about it. She's not the type to care much. She's in school to hang with her friends. She does not give two shits about impressing any teacher. Lord help us if Rebel ever doesn't like her teachers. That child can hold a grudge. Bee's a tough/smart girls. She can handle one year without the perfect teacher's we've become accustom to.

I signed up for the Met's playoff game with my husband. It was pricey but thought it would be a fun date night. He told me afterwards he also got my in-laws tickets. Obviously, I didn't say anything to him but no way I would have paid so much money (and the cost of a sitter) to hang out with my in-laws. My MIL loves the Met's. I'm quite happy we are treating them to a game but I would have stayed home with the kids. Spending time with them is fine but its never my idea of an exciting/relaxing time. Also, didn't realize the game is at 8pm. Its going to be cold. My MIL cannot handle cold. I think she is going to be miserable. It does annoy me that no one will acknowledge what she can't do/enjoy anymore. The whole family is in denial about her dementia/memory loss. Part of the reason I love baseball games is the nachos. They won't say anything verbally but they will def judge my unhealthy, expensive food choice. They are bringing home made sandwiches. Anyway, it makes me kind of jerk but that's why I'm writing it here instead of saying it to my husband. He happily spends time with my parents without complaints - who have their own issues. So I'll do the same.

It doesn't help that we are hosting their parent and their parents friends on Wednesday night. Apparently these people really want to see the kids. We've met them various times. Very nice people but the husband is socially unaware of when to stop talking. No one else will get a word in edgewise. At my own wedding dress rehearsal party he would not stop telling me some unimportant story - even when he knew the entire party was waiting for me come over for official speeches. I don't like doing things on weeknights but at least it gives us an out. On a weekend these people are the type to never leave. We told them the kids are in bed by 7:30pm. They will stay longer but at least I can sneak off to put the kids in bed. Anyway, two nights of obligations makes me very tired to even think about.

[sirianasims]

After that night, things slowly changed. Katherine would get up at dawn and go for a run before work. She got fitter and more confident, stopped seeking me out for reassurance.

We also welcomed Cooper into the family. His owner had come to the clinic, asking if I knew anyone who could take him in, and I’d immediately called Katherine to ask if we could keep him. She said yes, surprisingly. She was never a dog person.

Getting Cooper definitely helped me. After our night of rage, Katherine had been avoiding me. And while it was kind of a relief that she no longer tried to touch or even talk to me, it also made me even lonelier than before.

Katherine would be out jogging when I woke up, and I would run with Cooper late at night.

This way, she’d already be sleeping when I came back so I could have a drink and be alone with my thoughts before going to bed.

The clinic was going well. We were consistently making money, and I even considered getting rid of Lloyd and getting a nurse instead. His work wasn’t quite up to my high standards.

The seasons passed uneventfully. Katherine and I actually got along much better now that we no longer tried to make the relationship work. We made polite smalltalk, mostly about Freya or various household chores, and we rarely argued.

While Katherine and I grew further apart over the months, I became much closer to my daughter. It had started slowly, like when she was about eight months old, and I realised that her eyes had turned out green, exactly like my own. Shortly after Jamie and Athena’s wedding, she’d taken her first real steps and I was so proud I felt like my heart would burst.

The first time she called me “dada”, I cried.

The older she got, the more she looked and acted like me.

She was developing a nose that I recognised as mine – and my father’s. I would even see my mother in her features. She loved animals, especially Cooper, and could constantly be found hugging and petting him. It reminded me of the old pictures of Maggie and me on my parents’ walls.

In everything but our relationship, Katherine seemed to thrive. Her administrative talent and obvious intelligence had gotten her promoted to senior manager in no time, and she’d become interested in stocks and trading. She seemed mostly content.

On an average weeknight, we almost looked like a real, normal family. Things were fine. Not perfect, but I figured I could live like this.

I even made an effort to drink less. For Freya’s sake.

On family-oriented holidays like Harvestfest, however, the distance between us was especially noticeable. I hadn’t realised how much effort Katherine had been putting into our relationship until she simply stopped trying.

Freya was not a fan of awkward silences, though, and made sure the focus was on her whenever Katherine and I got too caught up in our own thoughts.

It was hard not to smile when she stirred up trouble only to then play innocent. Even Katherine would laugh at her antics.

It was impossible not to adore Freya, and I could barely remember why I had struggled so much in the first year or so.

What had been wrong with me? She was my daughter, she felt like a part of me.

Katherine and Kailani had become like sisters. I’d come home to find them chatting on the couch at least twice a week. We had tried having dinner with them a few times, but Colten and Kailani’s well-functioning relationship made me and Katherine look so much worse.

So instead Kailani came to our house, and sometimes she’d bring her own toddler, but Colten was usually home from work early to take care of both of their boys so she could come alone.

I always made a lot of noise coming in if I knew Kailani was there. I didn’t want to accidentally overhear Katherine complaining about me. I’m sure she did, based on how often she looked a bit guilty when I walked in.

But I was also glad that she had a friend to talk to. And whenever Kailani was here, it meant that Freya and I got to have dinner by ourselves.

In her eyes, at least, dada could do nothing wrong.

And I loved spending time alone with my biggest fan.

beginning / previous / next

[guess-my-next-obsession]

I’m trying to get into more series and I was wondering if you had any recommendations for any series on Joel or any Pedro characters in general? (Tryna save some for my birthday)

hi, babe!! i don’t read as much as i should and i mostly read frankie, but i have a few recs that i adore and have gone back to multiple times (warning: these fics are all explicit so if you’re not 18+ pls don’t interact) 🤍:

learning to live by @wheresarizona (Javier Peña)

weeknights by @frannyzooey (Frankie Morales)

because of you by @kteague (Frankie)

a future together by @kteague (Joel Miller)

paradisum by @juletheghoul (Marcus Pike)

the wedding party by @goodwithcheese (Frankie)

santa fe by @goodwithcheese (Frankie)

i’m sure there’s a few i’m missing but these are the ones that came to mind first!! happy reading and happy early birthday anon!! 🫶🏼

[sammyam12345678]

Breakup Pasta: Sammy's Version Part One

Good morning, afternoon, or evening to anyone reading my post! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blog.

This evening, I made dinner for my family, and tried a new recipe: Breakup Taco Pasta(TLC)!

First, what is Breakup Taco Pasta(TLC)? First and foremost, it is "a tasty meal" that had "the opposite effect of 'Marry Me Chicken'", according to TLC. It is not Big Ed's original creation, but it is a popular weeknight dinner, as it is easy to make, tasty, filling, and relatively inexpensive. Many chefs, food bloggers, and home cooks have created and written recipes for their versions of it, as has Big Ed.

Next, why did TLC call it "Breakup Taco Pasta"(TLC)? According to Food Network, "In episode six[of 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?] (“The Itsy Bitsy Liar”), Ed reveals that at a dinner with his family, Liz and her daughter Ryleigh, Liz “blew up” because Ed had made Ryleigh’s taco pasta “too spicy.” Days after the fight, Ed tells his sister that he has decided to cancel the wedding, but has not yet told Liz, days before their would-be ceremony. Liz learns of this news from a text message from their officiant, saying “how sorry he was that the wedding was called off.”(Wong).

Third, why was it so spicy? To start off, the formula for Taco Pasta: Big Ed's Version is 1.5 pounds of ground beef, seasoned with taco seasoning, 1 onion, 1 bell pepper of any color, 3 Roma tomatoes, 1 clove of minced garlic, a pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, 1 packet of spicy ranch seasoning, 2 cartons of beef broth, an unspecified amount of cheese, and an unspecified amount of any pasta(though there are rumors that Big Ed used Top Ramen noodles). (TLC)

Lastly, how do you make it? According to TLC, you first heat up a large skillet, then add the beef, vegetables, and seasonings, and cook until browned. Once you have browned the beef and vegetables, add the beef broth, pasta, and cheese, and let everything simmer, stirring regularly, until the pasta is fully cooked. Once everything is fully cooked, serve.(TLC)

Would you try Taco Pasta: Big Ed's Version? Please let me know in your reply or reblog of my post.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post, and have a good day or night.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Birdsong: Allies or Enemies

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone Summary: Kaz and Nina work out who they are to each other outside of the rest of their partners. Warnings: Pre-negotiated BDSM, sex, chronic pain, insecurities in polyamory, and bars Word Count: 8,498 Ship(s): Nina Zenik/Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck/Matthias Helvar/Inej Ghafa

Archive link!

A/N: We're at the second to last installation of this that I have written already! I hope that you guys have been enjoying this and the little rarepairs that I've scattered throughout. I'm almost sad to know that it's going to be leaving soon, but it'll be out there for everyone to see forever. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone &lt;3

The Crow Club was busy for a weeknight.

Kaz had become very familiar with the patterns of people. There were always outliers and people that broke the mold, but he had been running a club long enough to know very well how they acted. Sometimes it would be so deserted that he wondered why he even bothered to pay for a staff to come if they weren’t going to have anyone to serve. He usually closed early on those nights so that he could spend time with his partners for an extra hour or two. On Fridays and weekends, the place would sometimes get so packed that he would be forced to uphold the fire code and limit the maximum amount of people inside. On those nights, he hid upstairs and checked on what was happening with the security cameras linked to his computer.

It was a Tuesday and relatively busy, but that was likely because some sports game or another had just gotten out. Birthdays, breakups, weddings, and sports were the biggest drivers in his business. He had held several of his own partner’s birthday parties at his bar, though usually only after Jesper begged and pleaded until Kaz finally relented. He wasn’t sure that he ever would, but if he did happen to get married then he had already informed everyone in his polycule that not a single part of his wedding was going to take place at his bar.

Kaz was having a good day when it came to his pain, so he was mostly using his cane as a ‘just in case’ measure instead of relying on it heavily. He was able to pace around the main floor space to make sure that everything was okay without the stiffness that he was used to. He had some paperwork that he needed to be doing, but he was waiting for a certain person to come through the doors before he retreated back to the upstairs office.

About thirty or forty people were sitting in various booths and around tables while laughing with each other and consuming copious amounts of alcohol. He internally cringed as he thought about how extensive his orders were going to have to be later that week. On the outside, he made sure that his face was just as passive and unresponsive as always. Everything about him was always calculated, until he was within the closed doors and closed blinds of his partners’ home. Even then, when he chose what to wear there were always a million thoughts running around in the back of his head. He had told Matthias that once and the other man had commented that it sounded like it was exhausting.

It was, but he had made sure to thoroughly deliberate on what he was going to wear for his meetup today. He had chosen a crisp red button up and then put his favorite gray vest over the top, the one that was decorated with flowery black lace in the front. His pants were the slinky black high-waisted slacks that Inej had helped him pick out and buy the week before. He had styled his hair back with just a little bit of gel, so it was already beginning to break free so that it was hanging down in his face. His gloves were on securely over his hands, but he was already planning on taking them off and discarding them when he got the chance to be alone with his guest.

He turned towards the door as it opened and shut, then felt the weight resting on his shoulders alleviate some. “Nina,” he greeted curtly.

“Kaz,” she replied, her face splitting into that teasing grin that she always wore. She looked so pretty with it on, which was one of the reasons that he had continued to pry at her despite Inej pouting whenever he did it.

As soon as he noticed the smirk, his eyes were directed to the rest of her voluptuous body. She had just come from a show so she was wearing rather dramatic makeup, but it still complimented her face in the most beautiful way. She had dark, blood red lipstick on over her pouty lips that brought out the umber color of her blush and bronzer on her cheeks. She had black eyeliner on the underside of her eyes and matching red eyeshadow on the tops. Her hair was locked around her head in an intricate system of braids that her band’s stylist, Genya, must have spent at least an hour on. Nina was wearing a satiny red dress that clung to her breasts and stomach in a way that made Kaz’s hands twitch to touch her. It was held onto her shoulders with two thin strands of string, faux sleeves on her arms in the form of red bows. It came to the middle of her thighs and brought attention to the beautiful black fishnets and red pumps that she was wearing.

“Would you accompany me back to my office, darling?” he asked, holding his hand out to her.

She glanced towards the guitar case where she kept her phone when she was doing the gigs with her band, obviously thinking about what their texts had said that morning when it came to touch. He had rated himself at an eight, which was as high as he had ever gotten with her. He enjoyed sex with specific partners in his polycule that he knew he could trust, but he had raised it that high specifically just to worship her in the way that she deserved.

She placed her hand on top of his gloved one and then giggled as he shifted them around so that she was holding onto his bicep as they walked through the club. A few of the patrons turned and looked at them as they walked through the relatively quiet space, but Kaz couldn’t care less at the moment. He had never really cared how he was perceived as long as others understood that he was not someone to be trifled with, and nothing that he was currently doing with his gorgeous girlfriend would dissuade them of that fact.

He opened the door for her and she walked through. She placed her guitar down on the chair opposite from the one that she plopped herself down in. She held a kind of revenant grace and elegance about her that made Kaz dream of what she had to have been in past lives. He could only see her bathed in the most expensive brocades and silks that her noble family could purchase. She would have turned every head that she came across no matter where she was, he was certain of that.

Kaz closed the door behind them and locked it so that anyone who wanted to speak with him would have to knock to get through. He didn’t want either of them to be interrupted while he was carrying out his plan. “How was your day, darling?” he asked as he sat down on the couch across from her.

“Tiring,” she replied, tilting her head to the side so that her face was cushioned in the palm of her hand. “I had to let Genya play with my hair for hours before she finally let me go. And we weren’t even live streaming this one because David forgot the charger,” she pouted.

A part of him filled with pride at having guessed correctly. He liked being up to date on his partners and what their lives were like, it made him feel more secure in his place in the polycule, like he had earned something. He rested his cane against the end table next to the couch and asked, “Why is that such a bad thing?”

“I got all prettied up for nothing,” she replied with yet another sigh. She rolled her head back onto the chair for a moment before she returned back to her previous position, giggling at her own antics.

“I wouldn’t say you got prettied up for nothing,” he replied as he let his eyes obviously rake over her form. He could see her squirming in the same way that she did when Matthias said dirty things to her in Danish when he thought the others wouldn’t notice. Nina always gave him away since she was so easily riled.

“Oh?” she asked, that curl returning to her painted lips.

Kaz pushed himself into a standing position and walked over to her, leaving his cane where it was against the end table. He wanted to be able to cage her in how he knew she liked, and the cane would hinder him from doing so. While it drove Wylan absolutely insane to have the object pressed against him in a vast array of inappropriate ways, Nina didn’t care much for it. 

He paused when their legs knocked together. He put his hands on either side of the chair and leaned down over the top of her, his nose just barely brushing against her own. She took in a shaky breath as her bright green eyes flickered down to his mouth and then locked with his own. Just that action alone was enough to make him feel like he was drowning and she was his only hope of being saved. “You’re trying to tell me that you didn’t wear something like this just to rile me up when you knew that we had a date tonight?” he trailed one of his still-gloved hands over the fishnets on her thigh until he was edging closer and closer to the hem of the dress. “Darling, I may be a fool in love but you could never lie to me like that.”

She let out a hot breath as she leaned forward a miniscule amount so that he could feel the hairs raising on the back of his neck. She was just within his reach and yet still so far away. He wanted nothing more than to jam his tongue down her throat and take her to a faraway place where she never had to think about anything other than how good he was making her feel. But that wasn’t what he had planned that date out to be.

A week ago, almost to the hour, he had asked her, shamefully over text, if she would be okay with something like this. He had wanted to have enough time to plan properly and to let her kind of forget what was going to happen so that she would be surprised. He hadn’t talked to her about very specific things in the scene he wanted to have like his partners usually did with him. He knew that Nina preferred more sporadic lovemaking as long as verbal consent was given before every action, which they had struggled with when it came to sex in the beginning of their relationship. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been able to find a middle ground that worked for both of them, but he could always see that she looked more strung out and relaxed when she played with their other partners than with him. He had done a lot of work to try and make it so that he could hit all of her needs on this night, to try and show her just how much he loved her.

They had a long conversation about the kinds of things that she was feeling up to that week. She had told him her highest fantasies that she was feeling up for and Kaz had sorted through everything to find the middle ground of what he was willing to do. He hadn’t told her what items from the list he had already selected, which was keeping up the mystique of the scene for her.

“I would never call you a fool. If anything you’re a fox in love,” she purred as her hand moved around to the back of his head. She ran her nimble fingers through his long locks and then surged forward so that their lips were finally pressed together.

He let out a growl in the back of his throat as he reached out and grasped the back of her neck. He used the edge of his gloved middle finger to play with the baby hairs right below her skull. She mewled into the touch as she felt his body slowly moving closer to hers, so that they were basically pressed together.

Nina gasped into his mouth as her body bucked up so that they were flush together for a moment before she fell back down into the chair below her. Her eyes were hooded with arousal and her lips were slightly swollen from the kiss. Despite nearly being ravished already, her lipstick was still perfectly where she had applied it before coming to his office. 

“I do like it when you get all dressed up for me,” Kaz murmured as he slowly began to move his hand around the side of her head so that he was brushing against her cheek instead. The tip of his thumb touched her lip and she gasped, opening her mouth so that he could press on it even more. 

“I’d do it a million times over,” she promised, breathlessly.

“I know you would, you’re wonderful like that,” Kaz murmured as he pressed another kiss to her full lips. She mewled into the touch, her skin reaching for any kind of contact that she could get from him. He was able to recognize the desperation in her immediately, so he snaked his arms around her hips to tug her just a bit closer to him. He wished that he had the ability that Jesper and Matthias possessed so that he could haul her up and set her down where he wanted her in his office. It was so enthralling to watch his other two boyfriends scoop Nina up like she weighed nothing and cart her around the house while doing various dirty things to her. Kaz would never be able to do that due to his poorly knee.

Nina threaded her fingers through his hair as she lifted her hips up to allow his arms to thread behind her so that they were flush together again. Their faces were mere centimeters away from each other, breathing in the scent of the other without actually touching. It was intoxicating, the best thing that Kaz had ever experienced, when he was so close and yet so far. His body would begin to long for the touch of another person to deeply that he could feel it slithering down into his bones and making a home within his very soul.

“What are you going to do to me?” Nina asked, batting her pretty eyelashes at him.

He adored her with his entire being, he realized as they continued to wrap around each other like a pair of snakes using each other as prey. She was so uniquely full of light and love. She had touched a part of his being that none of his other partners had been able to reach, brought out a part of him he didn’t know that he could be. Nina was beautiful, inside and out.

“I think you’d prefer it if it was a surprise,” he replied. He pressed a kiss to her rouge covered cheek and then grasped the bottom of her earlobe in between his teeth for just a second. She gasped as she tossed her head back so a couple of her long brown curls escaped the updo that they had been contained in.

He knelt on the edge of the chair so that he didn’t get a flare up of pain during the middle of their scene, giving the nerve sheaths a break. He brushed his hand over her curls until he found the pin that Genya had used to secure the entire mess of braids. He knew that Nina didn’t have any other work that she had to do that night and they’d be going home to reunite with the rest of their polycule as soon as they had finished. So, Kaz tugged on the pin and released the braids from where they had been.

Nina pulled back from him slightly so that they could look at each other. Her eyes were still slightly lidded and she was biting at her kiss-swollen lips while watching every ripple of his body. “I thought you said that I looked pretty,” she pouted a little.

“I do, but I want to make sure that you look debauched by the time I’m done with you,” he replied huskily. He leaned in and captured her lips in another blazing kiss, trying to make her legs weak and her head spin.

She replied by letting out a pleased hum and a giggle. She placed her arms back where they belonged, one of them strung around his shoulders and pulling at his shirt while the other messed up his hair. Her dress was riding up slightly due to the way that she had to move her legs so that he would fit between them, exposing more of the black fishnets pressed to her creamy white skin.

When they broke apart so that they could catch their breaths, Kaz smirked as he could see the bottom part of her tattoo peaking out from underneath the skirt. She had only gotten it a couple of months ago but it looked like it had been there forever. It was another crow to join the aviary that they were building within their polycule. Matthias had one on his upper arm, Inej down her back, Jesper on his abdomen, Wylan on his shoulder, Kaz over his heart, and now Nina on her thigh. 

It made him feel like she was truly dedicated to them, willing to join in on even the weirder rituals that their group had decided made them interconnected.

“Kaz,” she mewled as she arched her body into his touch. He had one hand cupping the back of her head so that he could keep her tilted upwards towards him while the other began to slowly trail down her body. He brushed his fingers over the patches of skin that were visible through the holes in the fishnets, pressing the seams of the glove into her soft flesh. “Please,” she whimpered.

He could practically smell the arousal coming off of her in waves. It made his mouth water to think about her soaking through whatever lacy panties she was wearing.

“Please what, my beautiful love?” he asked, his voice extra husky in her ear as he tried to keep a low level. They were alone, above the bar and several doors away from anyone that would be able to hear them, but there was an appeal in saying things like it was supposed to be a secret between just the two of them. 

“I need you,” Nina murmured in reply. She moved so that their eyes met and he took a moment to admire the desperation that was already clinging to her features.

Kaz remembered the first time that he had seen her in this state of arousal. He hadn’t been able to touch her back then, but the rest of his partners had voted that they were okay watching her. She and Matthias had already spent quite a few sessions with each other, unable to keep their hands to themselves when the dam finally began to crack. So they had spread Nina out on the bed, voluptuous curves hidden only by pretty lace undergarments and the thin blanket from the end of the bed. Inej had taken her apart with deliberate yet light movements, trailing over the vast expanse of pale skin and over tattoos without touching anything big and important. Matthias and Jesper had taken turns with her after that, always pulling away just before she had the chance to unravel on them. She had been sobbing and begging, quaking in their hold, by the time that they had finally let her topple over the edge. Matthias had her in his arms when she did, so Jesper had crawled over to Wylan so that he could ravish the lover that had gotten barely any attention.

Of course Kaz had participated and witnessed her being pulled apart like that many times before, but all of them had paled in comparison to the first time he was finally allowed to witness her beauty like that.

He breathed close to her ear, trying to withstand the urge growing in his chest to ravish her then and there. They had agreed that they would drag it out a little bit, try to work each other up so much that they basically exploded when they finally reached their climaxes. Kaz was going to do his best to give Nina everything she wanted, and the woman underneath him was more dedicated to orgasm denial than any other partner Kaz had ever been with.

“Tell me exactly how you need me,” he purred into her ear. He pulled away from her so that he could look into her eyes, boring into her very soul. They had played around with their dynamics before, usually with her pulling him into pieces and then putting him back together with the tender methodicalness that she played her instruments with. Tonight, Kaz was in charge and the dark flush over her freckled cheeks showed that she was more than a little aware of that.

She mewled underneath him, squirming again. Her eyes were transfixed on his for just a moment before she dragged her gaze down to where he was pulling his gloves off of his hands. It shouldn’t have been as erotic as it was, but Kaz almost never took his gloves off while he was in public. He was comfortable doing so with his partners, even if it was a day where he absolutely could not be touched. The fact that he was stripping them off after teasing her as much as he had meant that he was exposing himself to her in his own way.

“I want you to fuck me,” she whimpered. She reached one of her own hands up behind her so that she was grasping the headrest of the comfortable chair she was perched on. The other hand was still grasping out towards him while having the faux position on the armrest. “I want you to pin me up against the wall and fuck me until I can barely walk. I want you to call our partners so that they know how much you’ve destroyed me, so that they have to come pick us up after the bar closes because you can’t take your cock out of me. I want to be so destroyed that we meld together, please, please, Kaz.”

It was so hard to keep the modicum of self control that he had scrounged up inside of him when she spoke like that. He reached down and cupped her cheek in his hand before he pushed down on her lip. “Such dirty words from such a dirty mouth. How do you feel about getting me off at least once before I give in to all of those demands of yours, love?”

She moaned, her eyes rolling back into her head at just the thought of it. She wasn’t always sex-positive, she had her own days when she sometimes didn’t want to be touched, but on days like today she was nothing but a cockslut. Kaz almost wished that the rest of their partners were also there to help fill all of her empty holes until she was just as ruined as she had begged him to be.

Her nimble fingers reached out towards the waistband of his pants just as the phone on his desk went off. The only people that had access to that number were his business partners, who would have been calling at the latest around five in the morning, and his romantic partners. If he was getting a call at that number then it had to be something important, otherwise the rest of their polycule would have called him or Nina on their cellphones.

“You’re going to have to give me a moment, my love,” Kaz said. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips in a way that was sensual enough that it would keep her warm for him until he came back but not enough that it would work her up even further.

She whined desperately as he stepped away from her, but she didn’t even reach out to grab at him. She knew that whatever he was doing had to be important and she was behaving herself so that he would do exactly what she asked when the time finally came.

Kaz picked up the phone from the cradle and then answered it. He pressed the device to his ear as he asked, “Yes?”

“So angry,” came Jesper’s teasing lilt from the other side.

“You interrupted me while I was trying to seduce our very lovely girlfriend, of course I’m angry,” Kaz almost spit. As much as he tried to act tough and scary around his partners, there was never any real venom in his words when addressing them. He had turned so that he was speaking into the phone, connected to the cradle by a cord, while staring at Nina to make sure that she was still worked up and wasn’t getting bored.

“Oh, were you planning on doing that tonight?” Jesper gasped, as though he had somehow forgotten that fact.

Kaz closed his eyes and brought his fingers up to pinch the space between his brows. His nails bit little crescent marks into the skin enough to calm the anger that was brewing in him. He would never really snap at his partners, he had long since moved through that part of his life after he made Inej cry for the first time. That fact didn’t stop the brewing anger in his gut as his cock ached. “Jes, how could you have missed it when I literally put ‘K and N date night’ on the group calendar in the kitchen?”

“I never look at that unless I think I may have a date soon!” Jesper said defensively. 

Affection flared inside of him, overtaking the anger. After his body was jerked out of the ever present fight or flight mode, that had been the primary reason that he hadn’t been snappish with his partners like he was at the beginning of their relationship. All of the quirks that irritated him made him love them more because it reminded him of interactions that they had with each other that he had been blessed enough to observe.

Kaz let out a little sigh and then asked, “What did you call me for, Jesper?”

“Well I was going to talk dirty to you to convince you to come home and help Inej rail me, but I think that you have something else going on,” he replied awkwardly. Kaz could almost see the way that his cheeks were burning from the tone alone, which made a small smile bite at the edges of his lips.

“I am. I would appreciate it if you reminded our other partners that they’re not to bother me either, at least not for a while,” he tried to put as much dominance into his tone as he could without making it sound like he was trying too hard. Jesper was fairly decent at dominating, though nowhere near as fun as Wylan, but he was always putty in Kaz’s hand with the right tone and commands.

“Right away, boss,” he replied. He gave a clipped, “I love you,” before he ended the call.

Kaz set the phone back down in the cradle and then turned back to the woman that he had splayed out on the other side of his office. “Now, my beautiful girl, where were we?”

“I think that you had just promised to make me come undone,” she smirked at the little pun that she had inserted.

He rolled his eyes but crossed the space towards her anyway. He placed his ungloved hands down on either side of the chair so that she was caged in again, slumped down so that she was looking up into his dark eyes through the haze of arousal that he had left her in. “I supposed that I did promise you something similar to that, didn’t I?” he asked, his voice low and gravely in her ear. He watched as the vibrations traveled through her to the base of her spine, where she shuddered.

He tilted her head up with one finger, bringing it away from where he had been keeping her in place. The few inch space between them closed as he brought their lips together in a sensual kiss. They met together time and time again, their lips dancing in a beautiful display of intimacy before it turned to a swirling of tongues and clashing of teeth when things began to heat up. 

Kaz wound his hands around her waist so that he was holding onto her with both of his palms cupping her ass. He grasped there hard enough to make her squeak and break the kiss apart so that she could moan properly. He had been content to be breathing in the noises that she tried to make, but hearing them was fueling the firepit in his belly that made him way to obey every request that she had made to him.

He placed a kiss on her cheek and then another on her jaw before he nipped at her earlobe. He caught the skin in between his lips and then rolled it between his teeth before he released it. She had placed her head almost flat against the chair so that she could expose as much of herself to him as possible. She was writhing underneath him and he had barely done anything.

The trail of kisses continued, open mouthed marks on her skin from the bottom of her jaw all the way to her high collarbone. He grasped the skin in his teeth hard enough that it was already blooming red when he finally released it. He made sure to kiss over the marks like he was sealing them with love to show her just how special she was. He moved his hands from the plush expanse of her ass to rest on her hips so that he could keep her still as he worked.

Once he reached her collarbone, he took some of the skin into his mouth and began to suck so that it would leave a dark welt. She had agreed to let him mark her body up as much as he wanted as long as she could hide it without having to wear a turtleneck or put on excessive amounts of makeup. Kaz was going to take advantage of that generosity, fascinated with the idea of her walking around with a physical reminder of what he had done to her for days to come.

“Kaz, Kaz please,” she whimpered as she began to writhe underneath him. 

“I’m getting to it, beautiful,” he replied gruffly against her skin when he was forced to release the mouthful that he had taken. He would never get over what Nina looked like when she was begging for him, especially when he was working so hard to bring her to pieces. He rewarded her by dragging his now bare hand down the silky material of her dress until he reached the hem, the tips of his fingers brushing over the holes in her fishnets.

She gasped when she finally felt his fingers touch her, the hairs on her arms and legs raising as arousal dumped through her body. “If I didn’t know better I would have thought that you had cum from just me touching you,” he teased her as he began to give her another hickey directly next to where the first one was.

“I would never cum without you telling me to,” she whimpered. “I want to cum so badly, but I want you to be in control of it, please, I want it so badly.”

“You’re going to get it,” Kaz promised. He set back to working on marking up the upper half of her chest until he was content with it. One of his hands was holding her hip to control how much she was able to grind down on the chair below her. The other was exploring the space just underneath the hem of her dress, toying with her to keep her in the moment.

It was only when he had basically given her a necklace of dark bruises that he decided he was ready to continue. He slipped his hand properly underneath her dress as he began to explore what kind of panties she had worn. She would have likely put something very nice on so that she could surprise him and seduce him into going faster.

He was right, of course. His bare fingers brushed over coarse lace and silky smooth fabric. She was wearing her set of the pair that she had bought for herself and Kaz for Jesper’s last birthday. He was very familiar with what they looked like since he had his own, so much so that he could visualize what they looked like underneath her clothing. The bra had a thick underwire and structured shape to keep her voluptuous breasts as far up and together as possible without being a push up bra, with lace just barely tickling the edge of the swell. It was tight to her skin, enough so that they didn’t need to have thick straps like some of the other sets she had for actually going underneath clothing. The dark red would mark her skin and bring out the marks he had already left on her perfectly.

The panties were another story entirely. They were the same dark color of red with lace around the waistband and thighs, clinging to her skin. The primary place for the silk was over her rich folds, which allowed the rest of her skin to be seen through the patterns of flowers and hearts that the lace made. They’d show off her ass by barely covering it and promising something enticing with the color allowing her wetness to be seen fully before they were even removed.

“You’re a naughty girl, you know that?” he asked. He had been aware of what her plan would no doubt be, but he was still struggling against the urge to just give in and hand her everything she wanted on a silver platter. She had said that she wanted a little push back from him, so that was what he was going to give her.

“You like?” she asked, though she was still heaving for breath like she had just run a marathon. Matthias described kissing Kaz to be a very similar experience, not that Kaz himself would know about either.

“Of course I like,” he replied snarkily as he caught her lips in another kiss. He brushed his hand up further so that the silky material of the dress was pushed up and bunched around the very upper parts of her hips. It revealed even more of the fishnet, so that he could see they were actually clipped on instead of covering her entirely.

He groaned as he reached down and unclipped one with nimble, intelligent fingers. He brushed his fingers down into the stocking and pushed it away so that it was pooling around her knee and more of her skin was revealed to him. He then grasped her leg like it was going to suddenly jump away from him if he didn’t hold her down. He dug his fingers into the spongy flesh so that Nina let out a loud moan, breaking their kiss so that the sound could resonate properly in her throat.

“You asked me to destroy you and baby, I promise that I will,” he whispered as he nipped at her ear again. He let his hand travel further up her leg after moving the other one down so that he was holding the fishnets, toying the tips of his fingers in the rough material.

“You’d better,” she whimpered. “I didn’t put this much effort into this outfit to not be rewarded.”

He liked it when she got snarky when they were in bed. Her mouth would begin to run like this and then he would bury himself inside of her, fingers and cock in her cunt and mouth until the only word on her mind was his name. He could tell that Nina liked it as well, which is why she pushed and pulled at him until he was finally at that snapping point. 

The edges of his fingers had just begun to brush against the edge of her panties when there was a sharp knock at the door. Immediately the haze of lust that had been hanging in the air around them snapped. Kaz pulled back and looked down at Nina, trying to convince himself that he could ignore it and go back to what he was doing. The edge of her dress was bunched up around her waist and he could see the growing dark spot on the panties without even getting everything out of the way. She was quite the sight, her legs splayed open to find him in between and one of her stockings shoved down around the knee.

He didn’t get the chance to continue like he wanted to because the knock came again. “What?” he snapped, which made Nina giggle behind her hand. He didn’t want her to be giggling during this scene, he wanted to hear more of her loud moans and squirming motions as he ripped her apart and then put her back together. He had planned something and was getting a little tired of being interrupted already. Maybe he should have picked a day when the bar was closed, even if that meant that she wouldn’t have come to him as pretty as she had post-show.

“There’s something downstairs that needs your attention, boss,” the man replied from the other side of the door. Kaz was able to recognize it as one of the bouncers that he had hired for the busier nights to toss out patrons that got a little too riled up. They were supposed to be able to handle their own, which is why they had gotten picked from his pile of applicants, but every so often the business owner did have to get involved in something. This particular bouncer was notorious for bringing him down for nothing, which had ruined quite a few date nights by leaving Kaz in a bad mood.

He wanted so desperately for this evening with Nina to go well that he was willing to risk the issue behind mishandled as long as he got to have his partner the way he wanted her. “I doubt it. Handle it!” Kaz replied.

He turned back to Nina and began to kiss up and down her neck, pressing longer kisses to the bruise that he had left in the joint her neck and shoulder. She giggled and buried one of her hands in his hair before she let out a pleased moan. She was beginning to melt at his ministrations again, which meant that he had made the right call in what was actually going to set the mood for them.

“Is this part of the scene?” she asked, the callouses on the tips of her fingers toying with the sensitive skin on the back of his neck.

“Us getting interrupted every forty seconds? Do you really think that I’m that bad of a lover?” he retorted, raising a brow at her. She didn’t giggle or laugh the way that he was expecting her to, nor did she snap back at him with a witty snipe of her own. 

He tried to keep the scene going by kissing her neck again, but the knock at the door interrupted him again. “Boss, I’m pretty sure that this is something that you’re going to have to deal with.”

Kaz sighed, resting his forehead against Nina’s shoulder for a moment. He gave her a sweet kiss on the lips and then began to right himself so that he could go out in public. His once hard cock had wilted significantly with all his worries about whether or not his girlfriend was actually enjoying herself and being interrupted, so he only had to shift things slightly so he didn’t look aroused. He re-tucked his shirt in his pants and adjusted his vest before he shoved his gloves back on his hands and got his cane. “I’ll be back in a moment, my dear,” he said.

“I’ll be waiting,” she replied with a small smile.

---

After nearly half an hour of dealing with a problem that he really did have to be the one to solve, he was finally allowed to escape back up the stairs to where his girlfriend was waiting for him. He was feeling frazzled, but still very much looking forward to getting to spend a lovely, romantic night while fucking his girlfriend into oblivion. He had promised that he was going to ruin her and while his body was in more pain than it had been before, he was going to follow through on it.

Kaz slowly made his way up the stairs, relying heavily on his cane and the railing that Inej had made Matthias install after the first time that Kaz had nearly fallen. He paused when he got to the door, already able to hear the melodic tones of Nina’s voice as she went over the same phrase in a song to get it right in her head. It was one of his favorite things to hear when he got home, next to all of his partners laughing over something while cuddled together on their massive front room couch. She was so beautiful when she sang, almost like a spirit of some kind had descended into her body and flowed out of her whenever she allowed herself to be who she really was.

He paused when he got to the doorway, holding onto the handle while watching her so that he could catch even a blink of that wondrous beauty. 

While he was gone, Nina had replaced her stocking and removed both of her shoes. Her long brown hair still pooled around her face and shoulders, haloing her like the angel that she was. She had her guitar in her lap and was still tuning it as she hummed a melody that he didn’t quite recognize.

“Miss me?” he asked after a solid two minutes of watching her and admiring just how lucky he was to have started dating her.

“Kaz, I have something I want to play for you,” Nina replied, her voice clipped and nervous. His own stomach flipped with nerves as he nodded and walked to the other chair. He turned his body so that he was looking properly towards her and waited for her to start.

Nina took a deep breath, her eyes staring down at the hand on the neck of the guitar as she began to play. Her voice joined in with the notes of the instrument, floating heavenly through the air. “The words I speak are wildfires and weeds. They spread like some awful damn disease. I swear I didn’t mean what I said, I swear I didn’t mean it. Now listen close, you owe me ears for dropping eaves. Forget it all, you caught me in a moment weak. Sometimes I just can’t help myself, sometimes I can’t help myself at all. Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me. Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad? And you would always crack and we’d both be laughing in the end. Now you’re not so quick to forget.  Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me, this will be the death of me. All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymore. This will be the death of me. What happens now? Do we have another go? Do we bow out and take our separate roads? I’ll admit I’ve had my doubts, but I want to be let in, not out, but I want to be let in, not out. Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me, this will be the death of me. All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymore. This will be the death of me. Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me.”

By the time that the song finally ended, Kaz felt anxiety sitting high in his throat. He knew that several of the lines were specifically things that he had done with her and that she had asked him to listen to it for a reason. What that reason might be was flying through his mind as he tried to figure out what it was and how he could remedy each one. The idea of any of his partners being upset or discontent with him was one that made him want to simply stop being. He had to make sure that they were all happy and content, he loved them and they deserved that much and more.

“Nina,” he whispered, his voice barely working as he tried to reach out to her.

Her head was bowed and tears were still streaking down her face. She sniffled slightly and then wiped at her cheeks to make the streams disappear. They had ruined her makeup a little bit, but he thought that she still looked lovely with the smeared eyeliner and clumpy mascara. Literally nothing that Nina did ever made her look less than divine.

Kaz left his cane so that it was leaning against the end table next to his chair and then got up. He carefully bent both of his legs and knelt down in front of her. He moved the guitar so that it was resting propped up in the other chair and then took her hands into his own. He was still wearing his gloves, but he couldn’t even think about that with the all consuming panic of possible having upset Nina. “Is that… Is that how you feel about me?”

“Part of it is,” she whispered. “That’s a song for the new album that our manager wants us to release, so part of it was written by Alina. I don’t think that you necessarily hate me like that song says but… I do wonder if you want to be with me or if you’re with me because I’m together with everyone else in your polycule.”

That was a punch to the gut. He struggled showing his emotions and tailoring his love to the languages and actions that his partners understood best. He had been trying to hard and apparently still missing the mark, to which he knew Jesper and Inej would just say that he had to ask more and do less.

“Nina,” he whispered. He brought his hand up to the side of her face so that he was cupping her cheek and then touched his forehead to hers. “I love you for you, not because you come with my partners. I’m sorry that what I’ve been doing hasn’t shown you how much I care for you, but I truly do.”

“I just feel like I’m in the way of what you really want, sometimes,” she whispered.

“What I want is you and the others,” Kaz replied. “The only thing that I want nowadays is you and the others. You’re everything to me.”

“You don’t hate me?” she asked, plastering a smile over her watery features. She leaned her head into his hand when he began to rub his gloved thumb over her cheek and kissed the tip of her nose.

“I could never hate you,” Kaz murmured. “You’re impossible to hate, not only because of how devastatingly beautiful you are, but because you’re funny and witty and probably the only person other than Inej that could properly put me in my place. I want you to be by my side because you fill that hole that I had in my heart, Nina.”

“That’s awful sweet coming from you, soul of darkness,” she teased, though he could see the flush beginning to creep up her neck. “I’m sorry for ruining date night.”

“I don’t think it’s ruined,” Kaz replied easily as he pressed a kiss to her lips. “I think that we should just put it on pause and go home. I’m sure that Jesper would like to shower you with love.”

She reached down to his hand and cupped it in hers for a moment. She then peeled the glove off of his skin and set it down next to her. “I think that I want to spend a night with just you, if that’s okay.”

He was surprised to hear that. Usually their date nights included a dinner where they out-sexied the other until one of them caved and they returned to a private residence so that they could fuck the brains out of the other. It was rare that she asked to have tender, sweet moments with just him. He supposed that if she had been having that much inner turmoil about the state of their relationship then it only made sense that she would need that form of aftercare.

“Of course it is,” he replied, trying to keep his voice calm and patient instead of lashing out like his first instinct was. He had come a long way and was trying to reassure her that he did love her, so snapping at her would have the opposite effect. “Come, let’s escape the bar and go back to my house so that I can shower you with the affection that you deserve. I’ll make you come undone by picking up a box of your favorite sweets on the way instead of fucking you on my desk like I had planned.”

“Mm, promise me that’s something we can do after another one of my shows and you’ll have basically married me, Brekker,” she replied. She was already sounding more like herself, which caused the knot of anxiety in Kaz’s chest to easily melt away. He threaded his fingers together with hers and then helped her up from the chair. They gathered their things and walked out of the bar much the same way that they had gone up the stairs, disappearing from the nosy eyes of the patrons to their own private island of healing and love, just the two of them.

[1d1195]

IF YOU WANT TO ONLY PLAY 1D AND THEIR SOLO WORKS AT YOUR WEDDING YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT IN THE WORLD i heard an orchestral version of “falling” once and wowwwwwww that thing was BEAUTIFUL ikkk it’s not really a love song 😭😭 BUT STILL i could totally see someone walking down the aisle to that. (potential orchestral songs: sign of the times, and infinity; also ‘black and white’ and ‘i want to write you a song’ were made to be played at a wedding) but seriously if i ever heard abt someone only playing one direction band and solo songs at their wedding i would think they’re the coolest person in the world

I LOVE HOW YOU POINTED OUT MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE SONGS OMG totally real abt going off the grid if that song was about you, i said that about “the smallest man who ever lived” by taylor swift because omggggg😶😶😶 when i first heard it i was SHOOK😭 i was watching tv the other day and this song started playing and it reminded me sm of you !! it’s called “Big Jet Plane (Acoustic)” by Angus & Julia Stone

GIRL I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST RELAXING & DETOXING SUMMER OF ALL TIME YOU DESERVE IT🫡🫡🫡 spending time with your friends sounds great !! even if it is dinner on weeknights (which sounds like a blast to me idk) IVE BEEN READING YOUR POSTS ABT YOUR BOYFRIEND GETTING INTO WRITINF AND ITS SOOO FUNNY TO ME HAHAHDAHABAH “i don’t think you like writing that much.” SIR ???? HAVE YOU READ PROTECTION !:!;?3??—?-?-? OR ANY OF YOUR WORKS FOR THAT MATTER BABDJSHAH and the whole dialogue thing 😭😭 girl how do you not bust out laughing ???😭😭

things have been quiet on my end too, after the wedding i’ve literally just been home at the time lol one of my closest friends broke her phone so i haven’t even been talking to anyone much butttt im hoping to hit the bookstore over the weekend so do you have any recs ? what are your favorites ?

hope you have a great weekend sam, love you !!!! <333

~🎶

In case my blog wasn't obvious I Want To Write You a Song is one of my FAVORITE songs of 1D I think I would cry like a baby if I heard it at a wedding. But I also think I can only reserve it for my marriage to Harry (it's a song for us). My funeral is also just everyone going to be sitting there and listening to 1D and solo albums. It's how I want to be honored. I think I would spontaneously catch on fire if I heard one of those songs at a wedding--Black and White especially.

Taylor is so real for that--good for her. I've been listening to Big Jet Plane for the last twenty minutes or so! It's really sweet. Very love at first sight of them 👀 I think I could do something with it! 💕

my bf hasn't a CLUE that I'm a "writer." It's really hard to keep a straight face sometimes. I have to tell him things like I took a creative writing class in high school (I didn't) when I want to suggest ANYTHING to help. But honestly, I think he's a really good writer on his own. Prone to overthinking it. I usually just reference some of my favorite books and such. I would kms if he read one of my stories tbh. This is like a diary for me. I don't want anyone I know in my personal life to know about it 😂

I like to do NOTHING on my weekends. But other people don't feel that way I guess. Idk hahaha I'm just a little different I guess heheheheI just hit the bookstore myself! For once I didn't buy anything--a miracle really. But I do have some suggestions. I made this post when someone asked about book recs before. I stand by this list COMPLETELY. But I can add a few more as well!

Normal People by Sally Rooney -- the actual way the book is written is a little confusing tbh (no quotation marks during dialogue) but it really holds up to the show as well. Not sure if you've seen it but I would highly recommend both.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow -- a little long at times but I overall enjoyed it! Cool premise and I thoroughly enjoyed the relationships between the sisters and such.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey -- one of the hardest books I've ever read, but actually really good. The movie was pretty accurate to it as well if I recall correctly. It was pretty sad though so don't read it if you're having a good time.

That's all I really got right now. I probably have more to recommend but I've been bringing books I finish that I don't plan on rereading my work and leaving them for other people to take to clear room on my bookshelf. I also give the ones I DO want back to my sister to read so we have something to talk about hehehehe

Hope you enjoy the bookstore! Let me know what you get!

xoxo

P.S. it's a guilty pleasure of mine but I read this book My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick the MC's name is Sam and she falls in love with the boy next door and there is a LOT of drama as well but the falling in love part is... 👌 it's a YA and came out in like 2012 and I'm putting it here in the P.S. because it's been years since I've read it, but I've never read a book where my name was the MC's name. But I think about it a lot. It's in a box under my bed along with other favorite novels of mine from my YA adventures that I can't part with. (Also, a quick Google Search says you can't buy it in Barnes and Noble--at least not near me) but I wanted to recommend it anyway.

[five-miles-over]

If you could pick any Mr. Hiddleston character (aside from Loki), to be real who would it be, and what would your dynamic with them be? Bonus if you want to include Loki how do you think your dynamic with him be? And what do you think would be the most unexpected part in your relationship with both Loki and the Mr. Hiddleston chatecter of your choice?

Thanks for the ask, @anukulee! I actually grinned from ear to ear IRL when I saw his in my inbox.

The character I might choose to be real? Most certainly either Robert Laing from High Rise or Bill Hazeldine from Suburban Shootout.

With Robert Laing, I think we would be like an old-fashioned married couple/work pals. We'd take care of each other. I'd gently remind him to have his meals on time, invite him to share lunch, keep him company and bring coffee when he works late/starts spending more time in his office. And in return, he would indirectly keep me (who is prone to chaos and having no routine) in check because he's very disciplined with himself. So, his discipline would motivate me to take care of myself (and my apartment) on a regular basis. Also, I have a bias towards Robert Laing because I work at a lab within a hospital IRL and Robert Laing is a physician (neurologist?)

With Bill...well, aside from teasing him whenever "Wedding Bell Blues" plays, honestly I'd play cool best friend and encourage him to vent, express his own opinions. I think we'd balance each other out, since I tend to get cynical sometimes and he's such a ray of sunshine. Also, we'd totally call each other's BS out from time to time.

Me: "I need another cup of coffee" *goes to make her 6th cup of the day*

Bill: "You said that right before you made that cup."

Me and Loki?

Where do I begin with this guy god???

Me, behind Loki's back: I'm his fan - I love his intelligence and his bravery and his ability to read people. I'd do anything for him. He totally deserves to be in charge of Asgard.

*Loki enters the room, having not heard a thing*

Me: I legitimately hate this guy sometimes. I wouldn't even leave him alone with a goddamn toaster, let alone my laptop.

Loki: Were you always born with a stick up your arse? By the way, I already guessed your password.

Me: How?

Loki: Because it's me.

He'd always be getting me to do the most craziest of things (like dying my hair at 3 AM, going out to drink pints of Guinness at 11 PM on a weeknight, and visiting a strip club with cops) and telling me I don't "live" enough.

But honestly, he'd be one of the best friends ever. He's the type of guy to say, "stop being sad and be awesome instead". We'd be each other's ride-or-die without even saying it.

Honestly the most unexpected thing in a relationship between myself, Dr.Robert Laing, and Loki...is honestly how amazed Loki would be by Dr.Laing's dance moves.

And with Bill and Loki, the most unexpected thing would be how Bill Hazeldine would be giving his version of Romeo and Juliet, and Loki starts asking all kinds of nonsensical questions, poking holes at the story's logic. By the end of it, Bill is completely horrified (Error 404: Innocence Not Found)

Thank you so, so much for this ask, @anukulee! I had so much fun answering it.

[baberoe-archive]

Do you think Babe would propose to Eugene or the other way around?

i wrote at least 200 words in response to this and them accidentally deleted all of it. anyway my answer would change depending on the situation but here are my two general opinions

canon-era (which is to say history of our flesh verse): babe would propose because he would be the one to think it possible. for as long as babe and gene are out to ralph and bill, they get jokes about being more married than either of the married couples. and i think one day (in the mid 60s ish but that’s neither here nor there) it would occur to babe that even if they could not get married in the eyes of the law, they could still get married in their own way. and he would propose to gene one ordinary weeknight during dinner and gene would be incredulous and he wouldn’t really believe it possible and then babe would convince him and then babe would start crying when gene starts crying. they’d have a small ceremony with friends and family they r out to, and also their gaggle of Gay Youth they’ve adopted but that’s also neither here nor there

modern au: gene would and i have multiple reasons for this.

he likes Knowing things

he does Not like surprises

babe likes to be wooed. babe also likes wooing, but he REALLY likes being wooed

he likes planning things. this is distinct from Knowing. with planning he can organize his life and arrange a nice date and look at local jewelers and artisans for rings and he likes that sense of accomplishment

in contrast to this, he really hates the thought of wedding planning. its too much and the thought of it makes him anxious. babe would never hold this against him and gene knows that but it makes gene feel better knowing he is going to flake on seating chart arrangements if he proposes.

somewhat related to that, gene has a bit of an inferiority complex with how he shows love. babe is very generous and obvious with displays of affection, and gene loves him very much, but he shows it differently. babe knows this also and would also never hold this against him, but what better way to profess your love than to say “Please Please Spend the Rest of Your Life With Me In A Legal Sense Please”

babe is so so so bad at planning things

i can also imagine a scenario in which gene starts dropping hints that he wants to propose and then one day he walks in on babe shoving jareds catalogs in the trash can, frantically calling ralph saying “CANCEL OPERATION GAY ASS PROPOSAL I REPEAT CANCEL GAY ASS PROPOSAL. HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE. WELL NOT EXACTLY BUT HE FUCKING IMPLIED IT RALPH.”