#weekly queer crisis

[bookbender]

Ah, yes. The age-old dilemma of fixating intensely on fictional queer relationships while being completely detatched from romance in the realm of reality to the point where all your knowledge is based on fanfiction tropes and you can no longer tell if you are even able to experience romantic attraction

So anyways, ZOSAN BRAINROT ZOSAN BRAINROT ZOSAN BRAINROT ZOSAN BRAINROT ZOS–

[steddieas-shegoes]

fairy porn crisis

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'bookstore au' wc: 964 rated m cw: dirty talk, implied sexual content tags: bookshop owner eddie, steve is having a sexuality crisis but subtly, flirting, getting together, modern au

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

"Thanks for covering for me, Wayne," Eddie said as he set his bag down behind the front desk, slightly out of breath from running from the bus. "Won't happen again."

"'S alright, son. Everything go okay with the counselor?" Wayne sipped from his mug, probably his fourth or fifth cup of coffee since he opened the shop that morning.

"Yep. Still on track to graduate in May."

Wayne's stipulation when he "sold" the bookshop to Eddie was that he still get his degree as backup. "Bookselling is a dangerous game and I won't have ya strugglin' if somethin' fails."

"Thatta boy," Wayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Been a slow morning. But your favorite customer is in the back."

Eddie felt his face heat up.

"He's not my favorite."

"Sure he isn't." Wayne rolled his eyes. "I'm off to get a beer with Dave. Call if you need me."

Eddie gave him a thumbs up as he checked over his emails, the one thing Wayne was terrible about doing when he was covering the store. There weren't many, never really were on Tuesdays.

He waited for Wayne to leave, the door chiming with his exit.

He jumped up and made his way around the counter, walking towards the back room hastily.

He found Steve sitting on the beanbag placed in the corner, book in his lap, face bright red.

Eddie squinted until he could see what book he was reading and nearly passed out.

His Ring was the first book in a series focused entirely on a group of queer mythical creatures. It was the only book of the series Eddie had read, and he'd only admit it under risk of death.

It wasn't that it wasn't good. It's just that it was basically porn.

And this one in particular focused on two male fairies, one who was gay and one who spent the entire first half of the book having a bisexuality crisis.

Steve was reading it with the prettiest blush on his face.

Steve, who up until this moment, passed as the straightest human being Eddie had ever met.

"Have you gotten to the part where Ereldi has to sit on Brelend's lap for an entire dinner?" Eddie asked.

Steve jumped and slammed the book closed, pushing it under his legs as if Eddie hadn't already called him out. "What are you talking about?"

"Stevie, I'm the last person to judge your reading habits. But I do have to ask why the sudden interest in queer fairy porn? You're usually reading sports memoirs and doing word searches."

In other words, 'are you interested in testing out your sexuality with me? I can pretend to be a mythical being if needed.'

"Just needed a change of scenery?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

Steve's blush deepened, and fuck, Eddie was about to be so unprofessional. Hopefully he wouldn't lose a customer over it, but it was a risk he had to take.

It's just that sometimes Eddie could swear Steve was watching him while he shelved books or swept the front room floors. And sometimes he caught him staring at him during his weekly storytime for kids where he gave out free books and cookies.

And Eddie always wanted to have Steve in his lap.

So.

"I." Steve refused to make eye contact, a sure sign that something was going on. "I just got curious. Heard someone talking about it and wanted to see if they were telling the truth."

"And were they?"

Steve didn't answer, so Eddie decided it was now or never.

"You know," he took a few steps closer to Steve. "I'm not usually one for those books. But there's something about the way they paint a very clear picture of how Ereldi rides Brelend in the forest that just draws me in." Another few steps. "Actually, Ereldi reminds me a bit of you."

Steve visibly gulped.

"But you wouldn't be interested in riding someone would you, Stevie? Prefer women to hop onto your lap and go for a ride?" Eddie's heart was racing.

And then it stopped completely when Steve gave the most unexpected answer he could have possibly given.

"I'd be interested in riding you."

Steve's wide eyes stared back at Eddie, daring him to make a joke, daring him to laugh.

Eddie wouldn't joke or laugh about this. He wasn't wasting this chance.

"Is the forest a requirement or could I go lock the front door and take you upstairs?"

Okay, so he couldn't not make a little joke.

"Forest sounds messy. Upstairs."

"Oh, I plan to make a mess of you regardless of location, sweetheart," Eddie leaned over Steve, foreheads touching, smirk growing as Steve's eyes closed. "Won't even have to get you hard, huh? The book did all the work for me."

Steve tilted his head back, lips puckering, searching for contact from Eddie's.

Eddie pulled away. "I close up in ten. You know the way upstairs?"

Steve's eyes blinked open as he nodded.

God, he was gonna be fun.

"You wanna be a good boy and wait for me up there?" Steve nodded and stood from the chair, wobbling slightly as he tried to gain his balance. "I want you naked in bed when I get up there, got it?"

"Um, I've never-" Steve started.

"Oh, sweetheart. I know. It's written all over you. I'm gonna take real good care of you, though. Better than anything you would read in that book."

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, sugar?"

"I really like you."

Eddie heard what he wasn't saying, knew without a doubt that he had to do this right or risk scaring him away from more than just the store.

"I really like you, too, Stevie." Eddie kissed his cheek. "You're in good hands."

"I know."

[detentiontrack]

Random sashannarcy headcanons because I’m obsessed with them and why not

They do NOT drift apart after amphibia. Anne and Sasha hang out frequently in high school and they have weekly zoom hang outs with Marcy (or more if one of them is having a rough time)

Amphibia only made the relationship between Sasha & her parents worse, so she spends a lot of time at Anne’s house.

All three of them get back into music. They play together and separately

Sasha doesn’t try out for cheerleading in high school and becomes less popular because she cares less about status

When Sasha cuts her hair, Anne is the one who cuts it for her and continues to trim it for her

They take turns visiting each other during school breaks

When they’re old enough, Sasha and Marcy get jobs to pay for plane tickets to visit each other (Anne continues working at thai go)

Marcy copes with her trauma through art. She draws pictures from amphibia and what she saw while her body was possessed by the core

Anne goes vegetarian because she can’t stand the smell of cooking/burning flesh after Marcy getting impaled by Andrias’s flaming sword

Sasha and Anne actually give creatures & caverns another chance, and they all play together!

Marcy frequently calls Sasha and Anne to infodump about her interests. They actually listen and ask questions and validate her this time.

Marcy has a phobia of being submerged in water, and even showers or rain are difficult on bad days. She didn’t remember being in the rejuvenation tank and didn’t know why she had this phobia until a couple years after amphibia when she suddenly remembered.

Sasha is the first to come out as queer after she realizes she’s bisexual during a therapy session about her past relationships. Marcy is the second to realize and comes out as a lesbian during high school. Anne always knew she liked girls, but didn’t accept it herself and come out to others until her senior year of high school.

Marcy graduated high school early and did her first year of college as an architecture major, but she was miserable and realized she wanted to pursue art instead towards the end of her freshman year.

Sasha started therapy immediately after amphibia, took an AP psych class in high school, and knew she wanted to go into psychology after that.

Anne didn’t plan for college at all during high school because she was busy having an existential crisis about literally becoming god after she dies, and she takes a gap year after high school. During that year, she gets really into studying frogs and realizes she wants to go into that field, and enrolls in community college close to home.

Them starting to date wasn’t really a huge thing. After amphibia, they were constantly talking and expressing their love to each other and taking every opportunity to cuddle and hold hands and all that. One summer, during a late night sleepover, they’re talking about their feelings and all come to the conclusion that they’re in love with each other. They have a moment of “do you guys want to be together? Yeah? I guess we’re in a relationship now” and then they move on to talking about creatures and caverns or whatever

Anne continues to do tennis in high school and community college, and that earns her a full athletic scholarship to the university of her choice where she continues to study herpetology.

Sasha continues going to therapy after she gets into a relationship with Anne & Marcy, and even brings them into a few sessions so she can make sure they don’t repeat the same mistakes.

After sashannarcy moves in together, they bring domino and adopt a kitten

During rainy days that trigger Marcy’s trauma, they cancel work or school and have a movie night with soft blankets and good snacks.

Anne can cook very well. Marcy can follow a simple recipe. Sasha is banned from cooking without supervision after the kitchen fire incident.

Mr & Mrs Boonchuy try and fail to act surprised when Anne tells them she’s a lesbian, and then don’t even try to act surprised when she tells them she’s dating Sasha & Marcy (they’ve known she’s a lesbian and in love with them for literal years. They just didn’t want to force her to tell them when she wasn’t ready)

Anne & Sasha go to the public high school instead of St James High School so they’re not known as “the girls who went missing”

They all have to take summer school and catch up classes because they missed so much school

Sasha has chronic back and leg pain from her injury while fighting Darcy. She also has a huge scar from her shoulders to her lower back.

Marcy still has a huge scar on her chest from being stabbed, and she has chronic lung problems and chronic pain as well from her injuries.

Whenever Sasha is anxious, she does Anne’s hair because the repetitive motions are calming to her. It always works out because Anne’s hair is always a mess. Sasha even gets really into curly hair maintenance and learns how to properly care for and style Anne’s hair (as long as there’s no leaves or sticks in her hair, Anne doesn’t care about hair care and won’t do it herself)

Sasha tried to cover up her face scar with makeup for a long time, but finally gave up and accepted it as a part of her

Sasha frequently gets scared of accidentally being controlling or manipulative again, which ends up in her being too passive or adapting people pleasing tendencies.

Anne gets really connected with nature after amphibia and goes on hikes and gets into gardening

Sasha gives up on trying to control her body. Back in her cheerleading days she strived to stay slim and athletic, and in amphibia she wanted to stay strong and tough. But after amphibia, she only exercises when she genuinely wants to, eats anything she wants, and ends up gaining a bit of weight (she’s insecure about it at first, but works through it in therapy and with her girlfriends)

Marcy dyes her hair fun colors often. It’s her way of regaining a sense of control over her body after possession.

Marcy struggles heavily with disassociation, specifically depersonalization after being possessed

They all have nightmares about amphibia for years.

Anne & Sasha are the first people Marcy shows her art to, and if she’s stuck with art/writers block, she talks through it with them. They give her suggestions, but usually she figures it out after talking through it

Sasha cannot handle any type of spicy foods, Anne is constantly trying to build her spice tolerance (it never works and Anne always pulls Sasha’s portion out before adding in spicy ingredients when she cooks for them)

Anne has pet frogs at home and gives them a life of luxury. She spends more on items to care for her frogs than she does on herself.

Sasha gets a dog and accidentally trains it to be a service dog for her chronic pain and PTSD

Sasha & Anne force Marcy to take breaks when she overworks herself on her comics.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | February 26th-March 3rd 2024

8 days!!!!! Only 8 days left!!!! Until then enjoy these fics!!

Complete

doin' something unholy by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (PWP, TikTok, Getting Together | 7K | Explicit): Eddie makes a tiktok account so he can monitor Chris' activity on the app, and he stumbles across Buck’s profile. It’s a lot of silly trends, a couple with Chris (previously Eddie approved), but when he scrolls to the newest video it’s one of those transition thirst traps and oh yeah, Eddie’s been sucked in, hard.

it’s the tapping on the kitchen’s floor by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Friends to Fiances | 1K | General): Eddie takes a shortcut to 'engaged' thanks to some stress and little bit of pining.

This Is No Hallmark Movie by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Hurt Buck, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck's impromptu trip to the ICU has Eddie crash-landing into the realization that he's deeply, madly in love with his best friend.

You Are The One by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Eddie finds a drawing of Christopher's from school that sends his feelings careening off a cliff

cause you make life easy by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (PWP, First Time | 2K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck are in love, and it’s so, so easy.

got love-struck, went straight to my head by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Future Fic, Established Buddie, Amnesia | 17K | Teen): The morning of their wedding day, Buck wakes up with amnesia.

too many heartbeats for one ribcage by lamardeuse/ @lamardeuse (Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 8K | Mature): Eddie's not queer.

Baby, I'm Never Gonna Leave You by I_still_dont_understand_13 (BTHBingo: Distress Call, Post-S6 | 12K | Mature): "Um... You remember that bracelet I bought Taylor?" Buck asked. Unfortunately, Eddie did. That Christmas was memorable... for all the wrong reasons. "Yeah. Why?" "It's been set off," he said, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 I'm comin' back, don't let me go by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S6, Angst | 7K | General): Buck's post-lightning breakdown takes him on a drive through the country, fighting not to give into his dark thoughts - a phone call from Eddie might be all he needs to lead him back home.

We Were Never Meant To Be Someone's Secret by DeadlyChildArtemis / @aroeddiediaz (Madney Wedding, Secret Relationship | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie have been trying to keep their new relationship secret until after Maddie and Chimney's wedding, but strange events keep conspiring to expose them before they're ready. The final straw is when they discover their hotel room at the venue only has one bed...

he speaks the languages of love by glorious_spoon (PWP, Established Buddie, Phone Sex | 4K | Explicit): "Buck. It's been almost two weeks since I've been able to get my hands on you. I'm going out of my mind. Yeah, I want you to tell me how you thought about bending me over the weight bench when I critiqued your gym selfies, or whatever." Or: while Eddie is out of town, he and Buck revisit an old fantasy of Buck's.

you were never meant to carry it on your own by artificalsirens/ @fortheloveofbuddie (Established Buddie, Hurt Buck, Smut | 5K | Explicit): During sex, Buck has a bad chronic pain flare up but wants to continue. Eddie stops him and takes care of him.

🔥 when you know, you know by asteriasera/ @asteriasera (Post-S6, Friends To Fiances | 11K | General): “How did you know you and Karen were ready to get married?” Hen blinks, clearly taken aback by the question. “I didn’t know you and Natalia were so serious.” “We’re not,” he blurts out, face red. “I’m not– I don’t even have a ring, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I was just curious. I mean, you should know since you two got married like, twice, right?” “That’s true.” Hen hums, then huffs out a laugh just the right amount of soft for this sweet pre-dawn moment. “As cheesy as it sounds, I guess that when you know, you know.” OR: After eight months of dating, Natalia begins dropping hints for their future together and Buck begins to question if this is what he really wants. One day later, a proposal is made in a kitchen over tiramisu

i'm thinking we should cross the line by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Canon Divergent, Post-S2, Not Firefighter Buck | 12K | Teen): Following the ladder truck bombing, Buck can't return to firefighting, having to find new passions while maintaining his bonds with the 118. Enter Eddie Diaz, his replacement, and May's scheming takes hold. But that's fine; two can play that game.

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Season 2, Buck&Bobby | 12K | Teen): It’s not until the earthquake that Eddie figures it out. He’d be the same if Chris was there; probably a little more overbearing, but Chris is only seven, so he figures that’d be why. But it makes sense, how focused on Buck that Nash is right then, the similar frantic energy that Buck’s got focusing on the Captain. He’s a little surprised that the LAFD allow a father and son pair to work together OR: Eddie makes some assumptions when he joins the 118, he'd like the record to show he's not entirely wrong.

we can find shelter and peace by chromatophorica / @chromatophorica (Post-S2, 3K | Teen): Following Eddie's graduation from probie to firefighter, the gang talk about their graduations... Until they get to Buck.

like the peel clings to the pomegranate by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Post-S6E10: In A Flash, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Or, Buck recovers and doesn't quite realize what he means to others.

hey now, hey now by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Canon Divergent, Post-S5E10: Wrapped In Red | 10K | Teen): Or, after returning to the 118, Eddie becomes a full-time paramedic and Ravi becomes Buck's partner. Eddie absolutely doesn't feel anything about that, not at all.

happy at home by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Post-S5, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Or, the one where Eddie sees Buck with a small kitten, realizes he’s in love, and spontaneously combusts, but not necessarily in that order.

we made it (knew that we would be alright) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7 Spec, Buck&Maddie | <1K | General): Maddie asks Buck to walk her down the aisle.

this lovesick thing by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): or, buck is buck: best friend, klutz, star of eddie’s every lovesick daydream. which is to say, things are the same, except maybe what eddie’s willing to ask for

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 52/54 | 95K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

50. Happy Holidays to the Clown Car (Christmas | Teen) 51. Maybe We're All Sluts Here (PWP | Explicit)

My Worried Mind That You Quiet by giselleslash (Christopher POV, Getting Together | 3K | General): or, Buck and Eddie through Christopher's eyes.

send a flare up in the dark (and i'll come find you) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S6, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Buck and Natalia are hanging out at a bar, with Natalia watching in amusement as Buck pines. She gets distracted when Lucy shows up so Buck starts drunk texting Eddie and eventually Eddie comes to get Buck, but not before Buck accidentally confesses his feelings not realizing that Eddie is there. Did Buck just fuck up or do they both get everything they've ever wanted?

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad by bellabrady (Post-S6, Getting Together | 5K | Not Rated): Or: Eddie is annoyed with Buck for being so very kissable but his drunk self isn't the best at phrasing things.

what to do when evan buckley breaks into your house at 3:17 in the morning by oklahoma/ @sunshinediaz (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): After a night out drinking with Maddie, Buck (kind of) breaks in to Eddie’s house.

Orange Peels & Coffee by bibuckleyforever/ @bibuckleyforever (Post-S6, Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie finds out about the Orange Peel Theory and it leads to some important realizations.

some of it's just transcendental by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Accidental Kissing, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Buck smiles as Eddie leans in and presses a soft kiss to his lips, and Buck feels himself grinning further against his mouth and kissing back before Eddie pulls away, too soon and with that same soft smile on his lips. He eases the bags fully out of Buck’s arms and turns to head into the kitchen, and Buck watches him go with such a fond smile that he feels like he’s going to explode. And then he freezes and stares at Eddie’s retreating form, his heart constricting in his chest as his brain struggles to catch up with the events of the last twenty seconds. Because kissing? Is not something they have ever done before.

that green light, i want it by asteriasera / @asteriasera (Post-S6, One Night Stand, Getting Together | 11K | Mature): Buck and Eddie hook up after Maddie and Chim’s wedding, then spend an inordinate amount of time not talking about what it means until the universe decides to intervene.

WIP

i got a bad desire, i'm on fire by diazbegins/ @evanbegins (PWP, Pet Play | 1/2 | 8K | Explicit): Or: Eddie finds that he wants Buck to treat him like a kitty. Buck can make that work.

if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, Identity Porn | 6/11 | 22K | Teen): OR Buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has PTSD and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 120/? | 362K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 4/18 | 25K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 7/9 | 51K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

[buckgettingstruck]

ok a couple people asked so heres a quick breakdown:

- ever since hiatus started they’ve mainly had ryan doing pr starting with the season 7 breakdown with kat over at us weekly. i know some of this was for his movie but they talked about 911 during that stuff too so i count it lmfao

- since being back on set most of the bts involving the cast has been of ryan

- the mustache to ME is visual shorthand of an identity crisis coming along now that chris is gone and for the first time ever eddie doesnt have anyone to really take care of besides himself. so. what does he do now?

- mustache is also a known queer symbol

i don’t think the content of the pr and social media posts etc especially matter towards hinting at anything but to me its the fact they keep emphasizing ryan’s presence and also his beautiful mustache. so to me it seems like eddie is going to be heavily involved in the opening arc and well. what could they be doing other than getting him out

im guessing he could be out sometime in the first 4-5 episodes. @lover-of-mine pointed out that 8x04 would be his 100th episode so 👀

[chatter-crow]

More LGBTQ+ LU headcanons

-Time is agender, since they were raised by the kokiri, who in my mind don’t have many concepts of gender

-Flora is an asexual lesbian, and is down bad for all the gerudo ladies

-Continuing on Flora, they are some flavor of genderqueer.

-Lullaby is genderfluid!

-Vio definitely uses neopronouns, I can just see them using xe/xem

-Twilight realized they were non-binary because of the Twili (in my mind the twili don’t have stereotypical gender norms, and Midna taught Twilight about this)

-Legend and Ravio got married so Ravio could live in Hyrule, but they fell for each other after a while

-Malon is the number one ally, considering her spouse and all the chain is queer

-Sun is a trans girl!

-Hyrule is very confused by how romance works. (Shhh, let me project my aromantic-ness onto him)

-Tetra is trans masc and uses all pronouns, and he is the reason Wind had her gender crisis.

-Four is genderqueer, and the colors have weekly votes on what pronouns to use when combined

[scifrey]

NINE-TENTHS

Twenty-four is one year too young for a quarter-life crisis, but hey, Colin's always been an overachiever. He's got a degree in Sustainable Tourism, which his family says he's wasting as a barista, an annoying anxiety disorder, and no freaking idea what to do with his life.

The only thing going his way is the cute coffee shop regular, a homo draconis named Dav (who, in his humanshape, is a total hottie.) Still, it'd be easier if Dav didn't have a habit of accidentally setting things on fire when he's startled. Like the café kitchen.

When Dav breaks draconic taboo and volunteers as a replacement bean-roaster to apologize for the inferno meet-ugly, sparks really fly. Everything's finally happening for Colin, until he learns that hooking up with Dav means that under dragon law, Colin is absorbed into Dav's hoard.

Possession may be nine-tenths of the law, but becoming his boyfriend's property does not make this whole identity crisis thing easier. Especially now that Colin must navigate politics, paparazzi, and legal questions about his personhood. Colin's still angling for his Happily Ever After, but the growing scrutiny on his relationship with Dav threatens their budding romance.

And if he's not careful, Colin's fight for agency may just destroy symbiotic human/dragon relationships worldwide.

🐉☕❤️

A sassy, queer, alternate universe romance from Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2011 author J.M. Frey. Wrapped in discussions of autonomy and colonialism, Nine-Tenths meets in the middle between Red, White & Royal Blue and the Temeraire series.

🐉☕❤️

Part One

There's this thing in stories called the "inciting incident". 

And mine? It's a goddamn doozy.

It’s the part of the book, right at the start, where the lovers have their meet-cute, the farm boy leaves for the wider world, the Chosen One is attacked by her first evil monster, blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean. It's the place where everything opens up and you have no idea what you're in for—only that it'll be exciting.

I know all about Inciting Incidents because I was going to be a writer.

No, I thought I was going to be a writer. Historical romance, that’s my jam. Dukes, rakes, windblown-gowns, dropped handkerchiefs, cliffside confessions—I am a slut for that stuff. Forget real history (totally flunked ‘We’re-Feeding-You-Colonialist-Narratives-Disguised-As-Education’ 101). Give me made-up kingdoms and far-flung pirates. Give me the fantasy of a happily ever after that lasts beyond ‘the end’. Give coffee and stories, and I am a content boy.

But right before he got sick, in the summer between my first and second year of university, my Dad and I had a serious talk about writing. How much work it is. How long it takes to start paying off. Backup plans.

And then… after, I thought, well, he wasn’t wrong. If life was going to be pointlessly, stupidly, cruelly short, then I should spend my time trying to do something good, right? I switched majors. Science makes sense. Science is logical. Science creates vaccines and saves lives. Science can bring species back from the brink of extinction. Science doesn’t break your heart.

All of this is to say that I can—with complete and utter certainty—point to the exact moment when my life became a trash fire. It was my twenty-fourth birthday, and my big sister Gemma gave me the dumbest, but totally plot-inciting gift: a sunrise alarm clock.

The Incident starts like this, in Mum’s pokey poppies-and-roosters kitchen, with Gemma leaning on the back of my chair: 

"I have a perfectly good alarm clock." I hold up my phone, then let it slap back down onto the plastic tablecloth. "Goes ding when there's stuff."

My sister heaves the kind of sigh only eldest-born siblings make, indulgent and frustrated at the same time. I love making her make that noise. It's hilarious.

"It wakes you up gently," Gem says. "So you’re not cranky."

"I’m not cranky in the mornings."

Everyone laughs. I may have snapped at Stuart this morning when he shook my foot through my childhood bed sheets like an aggressive chihuahua. Okay. So I'm cranky in the mornings.

"I don't see how it's supposed to work." Stu grabs the clock. "How can you see the light if your eyes are closed?"

As the younger brother of twin siblings, I am used to having the toys I’m playing with pulled out of my hands. Instead of trying to snatch it back, I fiddle with the iridescent green bow that was on my present, then stick it to my ear. Mum smirks at my accessory, but otherwise her prim little 'all my babies are home to roost' face stays in place.

I'm the only one of us who went away to school, and stayed away. Gem came back to live with Mum straight after she finished her undergrad, so Mum wouldn't be alone in the house. Stuart never left the city, though he's got his own place now. But that's why I stayed away after I graduated last year. Mum and Gem don't need me, and if I came back, Stu would try to get me to join his crew.

I go weak in the knees for the kind of person jacked enough to pick me up and consensually throw me around. Standing on a roof next to a whole crew of pretty roughs trying to help them replace shingles? That's gonna lead to me swooning and dying of a broken neck. Stu doesn’t want that on his conscience.

Because she's a bossy know-it-all, Gem takes my present from Stu and opens it to show me how it works. She huffs. "You can see sunlight through your eyelids. It just works, okay?"

Stu helps himself to another piece of my birthday cake, licking the icing off his fingers and the serving knife. Mum slaps the hand holding the knife, and Stu flushes up and sets it down. He descends on his third piece like a wolf, but at least now he's watching his manners.

"There's an instruction manual," I point out as Gem tosses the booklet on the table.

"The day you read the instructions," Mum says, "is the day I'll know for sure the fairies really swapped you."

It's an old joke, being the Changeling child. I'm the only one of them with dark hair. The rest of my family are blond as heck.

Mum’s grinning into that little curl in the side of her mouth that holds secrets. Dad always called it Mum's 'Peter Pan Kiss’. He'd wrap his arms around her waist and kiss that corner, and Mum would swat at him for ruining her lipstick.

Thinking about Dad reminds me he's dead.

I hate the swoop-and-stab sensation in my chest that comes with remembering. Especially when there's a moment you want to share, and you turn your head to his chair and start composing the sentence in your head: "Hey, Mum's doing that—" and then you stop.

You stop composing. Stop turning. Stop thinking about sharing. Stop breathing.

Because that chair is empty.

Dad's dead.

And you'll never get the chance to point out the Peter Pan kiss again. Or watch Mum swat him. Or listen to him tease us for falling for Mum's Old World fairy stories. Or hear his stupid har-har-har donkey laugh, thick with his French accent.

It's my birthday. 

He's not here. 

I'll have another birthday, next year, and he won't be there for that one either.

I try to control my breathing, but Mum hears it hitching. I'm already staring at Dad's terrible empty chair, so it's not like I can hide what I'm thinking about. Mum curls her fingers over my knuckles.

"I wish he was here too, mo leanbh," she says softly. 

Stu and Gem go quiet.

"Sucks," I cough out, deciding to give no one the pleasure of watching me actually cry. I'll save it for later, when I'm back in my own apartment. Not because of any kind of 'real men don't' toxic masculinity bullshit, but because I hate the fuss. They take the shit my therapist tells them about being my support network too much to heart.

"More tea, Mummers?" I ask instead.

"Time for something stronger, don't you think?"

Next Part | Read on Wattpad

Trailer Music: "A Thousand Years" by The Piano Guys Cover Art: @seancefemme

[argyrocratie]

Solidarity among the Displaced

How Russian Anarchists in Exile Supported Armenian Refugee Squatters

(2023-09-19)

Throughout the world, mass displacement is accelerating as climate catastrophe, economic crisis, and war drive millions into exile, both within their own countries and across borders. These mass migrations are exacerbating gentrification, driving up housing costs just as real estate speculation is rendering more and more people homeless. How can displaced people continue to take political action in their new homes, establishing solidarity across ethnic lines in unfamiliar settings? In Armenia, Russian anarchists living in exile set one example, supporting Armenian refugees who had squatted the abandoned Ministry of Defense.

(...)

In the last decade, Yerevan saw several waves of protests. Do you see people building historical knowledge and experience from one struggle to the next?

With regards to the movement of the 2010s in Yerevan, there really was a street movement in which Armenian anarchists participated. There were protests against the increase in electricity prices, an anarchist bloc participated in a demonstration on human rights day, there was an action against the gentrification of Yerevan, and an action of anarcho-feminists. But unfortunately, all of the people from that generation have either left politics, joined political parties, or gone abroad to Russia or Europe.

Today, the anarchists in Armenia are mostly emigrants from the Russian Federation. In fact, I only know two Armenian anarchists: N—, a punk musician (who became an anarchist in the early 2020s), and S—, an anarcho-feminist who lectures in our space and occasionally publishes in left-wing and anarchist magazines (who also became anarchist around that time). Neither them, alas, was connected to the movements and affinity groups of the 2010s.

There is also an anarchist from Israel: Y—, a Jewish woman who gave birth in the Crimea, repatriated to Israel, lived there for 18 years in kibbutzim and participated in the anarchist movement there (including contact with “Anarchists Against the Wall”), married an Armenian and moved to Yerevan, and decided to establish a café here with anarchist and feminist themes. The café became a gathering place for the local Jewish community (for example, at Shabbat celebrations every Saturday), as well as for the creative intelligentsia, who held public readings there.

All this continued until Russia invaded Ukraine, after which the Russian authorities began to persecute their citizens even more, and hundreds of thousands of anti-war Russians (including anarchists) fled the country.

As a result, Armenia, which was mono-ethnic for almost all the years of its independence, is now more diverse.

The door of the Mama-jan café. The second sticker says “No war” in Russian.

That is how our small circle was formed, which now represents the entire anarchist movement in Armenia.

There are many different people among us. One is actively involved in veganism and even founded his own vegan cooperative (which I also joined). Others, like one friend who is a Christian anarchist, collect humanitarian aid for the victims of the war. There is a queer anarchist group that continues to engage in street activism.

How did you go about supporting the squatters?

As soon as we learned that they had been forcibly evicted, we decided to go and help them. We went to them several times and, despite some initial distrust, my friends managed to find a common language with them.

As a result, at the next weekly meeting, we discussed how to go about supporting them. One of the sympathizers of anarchist ideas, a visitor to our circle, arranged to supply firewood for using potbelly stoves to heat their tents. Also, as an anti-war activist with certain connections, I managed to invite a journalist friend there. During a subsequent visit, they met us very hospitably. We helped to unload the firewood and they fed us and taught us to play backgammon.

We made a report about the situation for emigrant Russian-language media, which later played a very important role. We also established contact with the charitable organization “Ethos,” which was founded by relocators in Yerevan and is engaged in helping both Ukrainian and Armenian refugees.

Thanks to the fact that news coverage appeared about the eviction and was reposted on our initiative via various publishing houses (for example, in “Doxa,” which actively covered the persecution of anarchists and anti-war protesters), we were able to initiate a collection for food, medicine, and fuel in Ethos. In the end, we collected 60,000 drams more than planned! [The equivalent of approximately $157, still a significant amount of money for some refugees in Armenia.]

Also, the squatters began to actively invite us to their protests: they held these every Thursday and every Monday near the government building and the State Expenditure Committee. My friends and I held a poster reading “State, why did you take away people’s housing” with anarchist symbols.

The squatters were very pleased with our support, and even invited us to barbecues—which was especially ironic in the case of our vegan friend.

What do anarchists have to offer to struggles for housing?

Anarchism, in principle, throughout its history, has been very interested in the housing issue. It is not for nothing that during the Paris Commune, one of the revolutionary decisions of the council was to settle homeless Parisians in the apartments of bourgeois emigrants who had fled to Versailles, and to establish a ban on evicting tenants for non-payment of rent. Housing insecurity is a significant aspect of modern society, a challenge to which anarchists must respond.

The example of this eviction is particularly striking. It shines a light on all the absurdity and immorality of a civilization based on private property.

_

The house was not built by its owner. It was erected, decorated, and furnished by innumerable workers—in the timber yard, the brick field, and the workshop, toiling for dear life at a minimum wage… Who, then, can appropriate to himself the tiniest plot of ground, or the meanest building, without committing a flagrant injustice? Who, then, has the right to sell to any bidder the smallest portion of the common heritage? On that point, as we have said, the workers are agreed. The idea of free dwellings showed its existence very plainly during the siege of Paris, when the cry was for an abatement pure and simple of the terms demanded by the landlords. It appeared again during the Commune of 1871, when the Paris workmen expected the Communal Council to decide boldly on the abolition of rent. And when the New Revolution comes, it will be the first question with which the poor will concern themselves. Whether in time of revolution or in time of peace, the worker must be housed somehow or other; he must have some sort of roof over his head. But, however tumble-down and squalid your dwelling may be, there is always a landlord who can evict you… Refusing uniforms and badges–those outward signs of authority and servitude–and remaining people among the people, the earnest revolutionists will work side by side with the masses, that the abolition of rent, the expropriation of houses, may become an accomplished fact. They will prepare the ground and encourage ideas to grow in this direction; and when the fruit of their labours is ripe, the people will proceed to expropriate the houses without giving heed to the theories which will certainly be thrust in their way–theories about paying compensation to landlords, and finding first the necessary funds. On the day that the expropriation of houses takes place, on that day, the exploited workers will have realized that the new times have come, that Labour will no longer have to bear the yoke of the rich and powerful, that Equality has been openly proclaimed, that this Revolution is a real fact, and not a theatrical make-believe, like so many others preceding it. -Peter Kropotkin, The Conquest of Bread

[probablyasocialecologist]

Publications like Die Freundin (The Girlfriend); Frauenliebe (Women Love, which later became Garçonne); and Das 3. Geschlecht (The Third Sex, which included writers who might identify as transgender today), found dedicated audiences who read their takes on culture and nightlife as well as the social and political issues of the day. The relaxed censorship rules under the Weimar Republic enabled gay women writers to establish themselves professionally while also giving them an opportunity to legitimize an identity that only a few years later would be under threat.

[...]

There were some twenty-five to thirty queer publications in Berlin between 1919 and 1933, most of which published around eight pages of articles on a bi-weekly basis. Of these, at least six were specifically oriented toward lesbians. What made them unique is the space they made for queer women, who had traditionally been marginalized on account of both gender and sexuality, to grapple with their role in a rapidly changing society. (The concept of the “new,” albeit straight, woman in the Weimar Republic has been researched broadly, including by Rüdiger Graf in Central European History, who writes that it reflected a crisis of masculinity following defeat in the First World War as well fears over the country’s future when women were putting off getting married and having children.) In these interwar years in Germany, queer and transgender identity became more accepted, in large part thanks to the work of Magnus Hirschfeld, a Jewish doctor whose Institut für Sexualwissenschaft focused on issues of gender, sex, and sexuality. At the same time, women in Germany were making strides toward greater independence and equity; they gained the right to vote in 1918, and feminist organizations like Bund Deutscher Frauenvereine cultivated space for women in public spheres, encouraging their advancement in politics. As Sara Ann Sewell writes in the journal Central European History, the German Communist Party created the Red Women and Girls’ League in 1925 to attract more women and working-class people, particularly through organizing factory workers. More generally, German women were becoming increasingly empowered. Queer people—including women—rallied around the abolishment of contemporary sodomy laws. This struggle “created a wider climate of publication, activism, and social organization that was much more embracing of different types of queer and trans lives,” according to Katie Sutton, an associate professor of German and gender studies at the Australian National University.

[jbaileyfansite]

Fellow Travelers Article by Entertaintment Weekly (2023)

Time works differently on the set of Fellow Travelers. It's not what we typically think of as linear. It's as if the past, the present, and the future are all unfolding simultaneously. That sensation feels most apparent one particular Wednesday afternoon in Toronto in early November.

Magic Mike's Matt Bomer and Bridgerton's Jonathan Bailey, the two stars of Showtime's decades-spanning love story, prepare for a scene that plays out in 1950s Washington, D.C. The backdrop is the Lavender Scare, Senator Joseph McCarthy (Chris Bauer) and chief legal counsel Roy Cohn's (Will Brill) purge of homosexuals from government jobs. It's deep into the relationship of Hawkins Fuller (Bomer) and Tim Laughlin (Bailey), two closeted men on the Hill whose private lives are consumed with intoxicating sex and fluctuating power dynamics. Tim, marked by his signature full-rim glasses and a polka-dot short-sleeve button-up, is packing a suitcase in his practically doll-sized apartment, ready to leave town and never look back. Then Hawk, fedora in hand, knocks at the door and… 

"It smells like soup," Bailey remarks in between takes. Bomer can't seem to smell anything, but his costar insists the savory aroma is there. "Is that what's on my fingers?" Bailey wonders, slipping back into his British accent as he thrusts his hands underneath his scene partner's nose. Bomer doesn't flinch, but promptly takes a whiff — a sign of the immense comfort and intimacy the two actors have developed while making this period piece. As it happens, chicken noodle soup is the very meal Hawk and Tim share on their first date, which was shot in the same apartment set on which the actors now find themselves. Does the smell actually still linger days later or is it a sensory echo? "Déjà vu. Chicken noodle soup," Bailey remarks — and then the cameras roll for their fourth take.

While Fellow Travelers begins with Hawk and Tim falling for each other during a terrifying time for queer people in America, the limited series, told over eight episodes, tracks their waxing-and-waning relationship through pivotal moments of queer history, such as the Harvey Milk era of the '70s and the AIDS crisis of the '80s. "It becomes difficult not only for the actors, but the directors to keep track of everything," admits producer Robbie Rogers, who says the crew worked across three-to-four different stages on any given day in their Toronto studio. As we speak, another star, M3GAN's Allison Williams, dressed in a '50s-era tartan dress and pearl necklace, is running accent drills off in another set designed for a '70s-style San Francisco apartment. "Because we shoot out of order, and there were times in which we were shooting multiple decades back to back, they did rely on me to keep track of where they were in their lives," adds series creator and showrunner Ron Nyswaner, the Oscar-nominated scribe of Philadelphia.

A story like Fellow Travelers feels somewhat revolutionary, even now in 2023 when it can seem as though history is repeating itself. (Former President Donald Trump, whom Nyswaner refers to as "the antichrist," considered the late Roy Cohn as a mentor, and the two share similar rhetoric.) Inspired by Thomas Mallon's 2007 novel of the same name, the series offers an unflinching look at gay relationships at a time when they were forced into hiding. Yes, that includes some of the most erotic depictions of same-sex sex ever put to screen on a premium television network at a time when politicians are once again trying to tell LGBTQ Americans to keep their "lifestyles" behind closed doors. Says Nyswaner, "Our goal was to really tell the story from an LGBTQIA perspective of what happened in the '50s and then to take it past the '50s."

A love for the ages

Nyswaner deviated from Mallon's book quite a bit, incorporating the other decades to the piece, but he says the essence of Hawk and Tim came directly from the source material. "It haunted me for years," Nyswaner says of the novel. (The creator spoke with EW in August for an interview coordinated through his personal PR team in accordance with WGA strike guidelines.) The writer sat with the concept for years, only returning to it with the help of Rogers after his work on Ray Donovan and Homeland, so it's not surprising that Nyswaner thinks of Fellow Travelers as a hybrid of both those shows, part "fixer thriller" and part "political thriller."

Daniel Minahan, who directed a pivotal bottle episode of Ray Donovan, sees a similarity between Liev Schreiber's performance and Bomer's Hawk. "They're both fixers," he says. "Ray's someone who has his own moral code and is immoral. Hawk has his own moral code, but it's very specific to being a closeted gay man." Hawk, a war hero, exudes a classical man-about-town image as an always-suited, charming State Department official courting Lucy Smith (Williams), the daughter of a prominent U.S. senator. In his private life, he discreetly prowls for other gay men in dark-cornered cruising grounds to satiate his hunger for sexual dominance.

"I find sometimes that gay characters are made too clean," Nyswaner reflects. "They're made too noble. I'm just tired of that. Hawkins Fuller certainly is a very complicated, sometimes unlikeable antihero. I'd marry him in a second and then regret it probably in a few days, but there's something fascinating about watching someone who is in charge and you don't like him, but you kind of enjoy it. I think that helps us get away with a lot."

Bailey's Tim is more gentle and naive than Hawk, especially when the Irish Fordham University graduate and devout Catholic first arrives on the Hill. Rogers met Bailey on his past project when filmmaker Michael Grandage was scouting for the role of Patrick opposite Harry Styles in My Policeman, a part that ultimately went to David Dawson. "Things didn't work out for a number of reasons, but I remember being really interested in him as an actor," the producer says. There's an inherent delight in now seeing the Bridgerton heartthrob play someone a few shades geekier, complete with a fondness for milk that Tim will order at bars without shame. "Jonny's character in Bridgeton is a little bit like Hawkins Fuller. He's kind of ruthless and he's in charge," Nyswaner points out. "Jonny's version of Tim is so vulnerable. You just don't know if you want Tim to get away from [Hawk] or stay with him and change him."

The two stars got together over Zoom for a chemistry read. Bomer (already attached as an executive producer) called in from L.A., Bailey from London, and Nyswaner from Toronto. The showrunner remembers, "It was electric." The pair were reading Hawk and Tim's first proper meeting: flirting with each other on a park bench in the days after clocking eyes at a political soiree. "I got a text from one of the executives who said, 'Well, that's the first time I've cried in a chemistry read.'" 

There are two other core relationships explored in Fellow Travelers. One is Hawk and Lucy, both hiding parts of themselves from each other. The other is one Nyswaner developed just for the series, another gay couple entwined in the lives of Hawk and Tim: Marcus Hooks (Jelani Alladin), a Black journalist covering the Senate beat, and Frankie Hines (Noah J. Ricketts), a drag performer working at the Cozy Corner underground gay bar.

On the set in November, Alladin offers a tour of Marcus' San Francisco apartment in the '80s setting. The character's story is reflected in the props that adorn the space, from the Jean-Baptiste painting on the wall to the writerly awards spotted on the shelves. "He goes from this closeted man, not loving himself, to completely in love and embracing not only Black culture, but the fact that he's a homosexual man," the actor says.

It's "that struggle of, where is my loyalty? I have to be a Black man first because that's what is needed and expected of me from my community," Nyswaner adds. "Jelani and I had conversations where he would read to me from his journal that he kept in the voice of Marcus. Sometimes I would say, 'Can I put that in the scene?' So, that was a really beautiful collaboration."

Marcus remains in stark contrast to his love, Frankie, who, according to Ricketts, is all about being authentic to oneself at all times. "What I love about Frankie is that sometimes he feels like putting on a jacket and being butch and going out into the world, and other times he feels like painting his nails and letting his hair out," Ricketts says.

And, the actor notes, "every drag queen has a drag mother." For him, that would be costume designer Joseph La Corte, who's been Emmy nominated for work on Fosse/Verdon, Boardwalk Empire, and The Sopranos. "Joseph was the one who taught me how to hide and tuck and get rid of everything that I needed to discreetly put away."

The politics of sex

The first glimpse the public saw of Fellow Travelers came unexpectedly in September 2022. It was another ripple in time: Bailey, sporting a '70s stache, flaunted his pronounced pectorals alongside Bomer on the shores of Lake Ontario, which doubled for the waves of Fire Island. Rogers says they had to shoot those scenes first by necessity as winter wasn't far off. Little did they know, paparazzi were hiding out nearby. Rogers was admittedly stressed at first when photos of the scene spread online. "My first reaction was, 'Is this gonna affect shooting going forward?' I had that experience with Harry Styles in England when we did My Policeman. So, maybe I was traumatized," he recalls, laughing. 

The leak ended up being the best thing for Fellow Travelers. People couldn't help but thirst over two shirtless Hollywood hunks in their prime, gleefully wrestling with each other in the water. A cheeky Nyswaner agrees, "It was not a bad thing that those images came out." Even now, however, the series is going to prove sexier than some might be prepared for. In one scene that occurs early on, Hawk is prepping for a party thrown by Senator McCarthy. Tim, letting his partner's hand linger over the hairs on his chest, wants to go but doesn't have an invite. "I'm your boy, right?" Bailey's Tim says, already working his seductive magic. "And your boy wants to go to the party." Regarding what happens next, let's just say, if Ben Shapiro doesn't go on a three-hour diatribe afterwards, it will be a shock.

Minahan speaks of this specific moment from the breakfast nook of his Gramercy apartment in New York City, where a plump peach sits on a dish among croissants and morning sweets — an appropriate image given the subject matter. "What sets these sex scenes apart is that they are moving the story forward," he explains. "The way they're moving the story forward is by the transference of power that happens between [the characters]."

There were many rules on the set of Fellow Travelers, particularly when it came to sex, which involved intimacy coordinators and lots of rehearsals. Nyswaner quotes the great queer poet Oscar Wilde, who said, "Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." That was one rule. "The other rule," Nyswaner continues, "was that we wouldn't do the same sexual act more than once, or the same combination." That proved to be harder than they all realized. "I remember when we were writing episode 8, my co-writers and I said, 'What haven't we done?'" 

Minahan, who directs the first episode, ended up setting that tone for the whole show. "What I was going for in those first two hours was this idea of Tim, who's not particularly sexually experienced, having this almost transcendent experience with Hawk which imprints on him," he says. "He becomes almost obsessive about his attachment, but whether Hawk's in love with the power that he has over him or actually has this love for him is part of the tension of the piece. His life and sexuality is so compartmentalized. It's like, this is when I do sex, this is when I'm at work, this is when I have my girlfriend."

This kind of material meant that Bomer and Bailey were going to be in each other's personal spaces for a significant part of filming. The pair have previously spoken about finding that trust and comfort with each other as scene partners, and Rogers could feel it. "They were gonna be there for each other the whole production and keep each other safe," he says. "It's actors finding that with each other and feeling safe on set, feeling safe with us. Whatever the cut we present to the studio and network, we have their best interest and the show's best interest in mind."

Ripples through time

Rogers knows viewers will pay a lot of attention to the sex on Fellow Travelers for obvious reasons, but he says it wasn't their goal to be "too salacious," noting, "It's quite an emotional and powerful show." 

All three of the producers who spoke with EW, including Minahan and Nyswaner, felt the weight of time, and more specifically history, while making the miniseries. Rogers, a former international soccer star, formed a deeply personal connection to the material, having come out as gay in 2013 when few professional athletes were doing so. "If your secret was revealed, your life could be ruined. I slightly felt that way in my past career," he recalls.

Minahan's connection, meanwhile, came from growing up gay through the '80s. "I think we put ourselves in things in ways we don't even know," Nyswaner remarks. "I came of age in the '60s and then as a young teenager in the '70s, moved to New York in 1978, came out, really enjoyed some of that celebration of being liberated in a limited way, and then, of course, the cold shower of the AIDS crisis."

Nyswaner lost friends and loved ones to the disease over the years, including his nephew, for whom he would write 1993's Philadelphia, starring Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington. He felt similarly compelled to include that time period in Fellow Travelers. "Since it's a part of my life, I just couldn't let that go," he says. But the drama feels richer for expanding well beyond the '50s setting of Mallon's novel. Nyswaner adds, "If you have a chance to tell a story like this, I wanted to tell as much of it as possible."

Perhaps he'll get the chance to tell even more. Both Nyswaner and Rogers confirm they are already talking about the possibility of turning the miniseries into an anthology series that would track different queer fellow travelers across history. The current Hollywood writer and actor strikes, however, are putting those early talks on hold.

"How about if I just say...? Yes, I think that there are many stories to be told, and Robbie and I have spoken in detail. Because of the strike, we haven't spoken to any of our studio executives about it. When the strike ends, that'll be a conversation that I hope to have immediately with them. Even maybe taking one or two of the characters from this season who weren't [featured] as prominently as Hawk and Tim."

That seems to be yet another rule of Fellow Travelers.

Source

[jess-le-mess]

i don't know what happened, but over the past couple of weeks i went from the worst pit of despair I've maybe felt in the past ten years or something to suddenly just waking up to all the little things that made me me that i discarded over the course of a decade-long shitty relationship (and a string of bad ones before that even).

Like, I have been in therapy for a year and a bit now and it could be a midlife crisis creeping up on me, but dammit something just snapped in me and I broke out my Docs, my fluorescent ass tights, I'm eating food again (and liking it---I've been scheduling a weekly Friday date with pie/ice cream and I feel like an alien that just learned what pleasure is)

Oh and as a bonus, I was chatting with a fellow Old about fat activism and the zines and they knew nothing about it so I had to share some stuff and now I'm down a rabbit hole re-reading some of these fat/queer zines like it's 2005

Life comes fast, huh

[variousqueerthings]

(information if you want it on tales of the city) tales of the city started as a weekly column in the chronical so the first "book" aka series of columns did lead up to the intentional initial reveal that miss madrigal was a transwoman (intent from the beginning). she remains a pretty prominent character along with mouse for a lot of the books (iirc it's been a while since ive read the whole series -- they were written in a "real time" way and would frequently incorporate real events or figures from sf history -- like for example the book series was started in the seventies before the aids crisis but eventually did end up incorporating it and stands as a really interesting and semi autobiographical representation of the gay community in sf during very specific periods of time!). it's a true tragedy to me that the san francisco of tales of the city has been completely lost, devoured by silcon valley & tech yuppies but i really enjoyed the books letting into that universe that all exists in that one apartment building!

👀

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh amazing, i was wondering because obviously it was explored very directly in the 2019 series, but i'm engaging with all of it out of order (but i will eventually read the books also!) and then i was a bit surprised that that seemed to be hinted at in the series itself. woe be me for doubting!

the way it's got biography + in the moment cultural exploration baked into it because of the way it was written sounds like such an important resource for queer and non-conforming histories (specifically in sanfran, but giving some wider contexts also) now that the area has been gentrified to such an extreme degree. one can only wish that this sort of first hand account existed for so many of our no-longer-existent spaces

i was wondering how the AIDS crisis would come into the story, since s1 seems very specifically set during the late 70s, in itself a time of transition from hippies and protest into that yuppie 80s, but the writing - which, first one was 1978? - wouldn't have known that at the time. thanks for that context!

it's something odd while watching it, because that's 1993 (i believe), they knew what would happen in that fifteen year interim (and the 2019 one knew everything that would come next), but it feels like actually seeing it in real-time, vs, say, a lot of modern stuff where there is a spectre hanging over all the stories around this time, if that makes sense. everything is a Metaphor of what's to come rather than an exploration of a time in and of itself

anyway anna and mouse and mona my darlings whomst i will defend forever (especially mona, my sweet), brian head empty not-quite-angelic-but-close-enough-sweet-angel, and mary ann... bbygrl that married man is not it (laura linney is such an icon)

thing i noted: in the 2019 series there was a scene where mouse brings his much younger black boyfriend to a fancy dinner party with other middle-aged and older gay men, and they defend the right to be offensive and dismissive towards trans people because they've "earned it" by having been oppressed themselves, and the younger boyfriend is put on the spot to defend people while being treated quite abominably by these men -- interesting that a similar thing happened to mouse back in the 70s. puts scenes into perspective in an interesting back-to-front-way

sometimes it's about getting into stories the wrong way around

[alltimefail-sims]

Wren Opara For @mangosimoothie's The Familiar

The Basics: -> Human; They/Them (Nonbinary) -> Traits: Perfectionist, Peaceful, Snob, Neat, Party Animal -> Blood Type: B Negative -> Gay AF -> Young Adult (irl probably like 23 y.o.)

Many details below the cut! ↓

Wren grew up in a painfully high profile family. Their mother is a beloved career politician in San Myshuno who dethroned her conservative competitor at the height of his career. She's been fighting for whatever it is Democrats want people to think they care about while shaking hands with elitist bureaucrats and not getting their own child's pronouns right for years now. Wren's father, on the other hand, is a retired engineer and respectable investor currently focused on funneling money into "forward thinking, clean energy advancements." He's an effortless public speaker who is known for wiring up crowds of eager college graduates, TED talk truthers, and other alpha male types all while speaking a maximum 10 words at home on a weekly basis - but it's fine, really!

Even if Wren's parents have never so much as held hands in their presence, they do seem to agree on a couple things like: (1) Wren could be doing more with their life, (2) Wren is "hellbent on hurting the family image," and (3) Wren should try to be more like their older brother and sister who are, in Wren's opinion, not-so-secretly competing to see who can be more fucking insufferable. So yeah, everything has always been fine. Wren is the black sheep, the youngest child with a fucking communications degree (the horror!), the queer child who is constantly held to a higher standard of what their relationships need to look like, who has a penchant for lavish, expensive parties and enough fair weather friends to fill a fucking yacht. They're fine, it's all very fine...

Except when it's not. Which is often, actually, now that they're really thinking about it. Ever heard of those child geniuses who get burnout before they're 40? Wren is going through their third (maybe fourth) midlife crisis before 25, so although that's not ideal, at least people can't call Wren an underachiever. After years of doing all the right things, keeping their head down, shaking all the right hands, and being under the heavy scrutiny of the public at large and still not being good enough, they've pretty much just hit a wall. Like, what's the point? So yeah, they party and they've been in a bit of a funk. The parties are fun, and Wren loves a good time (and a good distraction), but it's all so fucking fake and lonely. Wren's exhausted.

So here they are, trying something truly wild because why the fuck not. Anything is better than living in proximity to people who view you solely as a burden or a benefit, depending on the context. Does Wren live to serve and perform well under immense pressure? Wren would argue that everyone's ass has to spend their whole life serving someone or something anyway, so you might as well try and make it worthwhile. Wren is neat, organized, has refined tastes, an eye for luxury, and they are certainly not squeamish. They wouldn't describe themselves as responsible by any means, but they do get shit done when they set their mind to it, and they're loyal.

They've worked plenty of shitty jobs in the past. They've been a Starbucks barista in a fucking yuppie ass Target on Black Friday; they cleaned bathrooms and slung drinks while working at the sluttiest, dirtiest, raunchiest club in SanMy; they've worked on their own mother's godforsaken campaign with the most miserable Midwesterners known to man; they're pretty sure they can handle just about anything. After all, Wren knows enough about Atticus and Ryan to feel, with absolute certainty, that working for them would likely be worlds better than being a second class citizen in their own life. Some risks are just worth taking, and some lives are worth leaving behind.

Wren's read that one book - Twilight or some shit? It wasn't for them. They're doubtful it was like, super accurate anyway. So they might, admittedly, have a limited knowledge on what actual vampires are like, but they're extremely open minded after doing a quick web search: "What is a vampire familiar?" and reading some guy named Vlad's wiki page. Maybe the fire under their ass comes from a renewed sense of intrigue, maybe it's sparked by the potential to change their life into something truly and uniquely their own, maybe it's just their competitive nature, but Wren is eager to prove that they're a perfect fit even for the most picky, high-profile vampires.

Some fun facts: ❤ Wren's birthday is October 28th: they don't believe in astrology, but loves to jokingly call themselves a Scorpi-ho. ❤ Has 1.7 million followers on Social Bunny. ❤ Says they are 5'10 - is actually 5'8. Will look you in the eyes and deny this with their whole chest. All their shoes give a little lift for this reason lol. ❤ Not a crier or a super "expressive"/"vulnerable" person, but deals with emotional people really well and actually finds them refreshing. ❤ People have always underestimated Wren's intelligence, but they're dangerous as fuck to have in your corner. They will tank your public image or build it back up with the skill of someone twice their age. They are a numbers whiz and a spreadsheet master in disguise. They are booked and unbothered with quiet efficiency. They work in silence and make major moves in the shadows (unlike the rest of their family but I digress). ❤ Will literally vomit if anything "Pumpkin Spice" is brought within an inch of their mouth. Deadass. ❤ Changes their hair color on such a regular basis that it has become a trending topic on multiple occasions. Loves to play around with fashion in general. ❤ Their typical "type" would be someone big, beefy, and hairy. Thems the rules and Wren is not budging. (I'm not sure if Wren is applying for this position with romance on their mind, you can do with that what you will 👀) ❤ Loves the company of artist types and musicians the most, even though Wren wouldn't consider themselves to be the conventional "creative type." ❤ Will do the worst rendition of WAP you've ever heard at karaoke after a few rounds of shots. Also loves waxing poetic at art museums and pining for beautiful men from afar. ❤ All of their tattoos and piercings were impulse decisions. ❤ Lowkey a philanthropist?! Does not make a big deal about it, but gives copious amounts of their money to charity regularly and actually volunteers often. ❤ Denies watching trash reality tv but definitely does. Has two separate Spotify accounts - one for leisure and the other perfectly and meticulously curated to share when "Spotify Wrapped" season comes along. ❤ Once royally pissed off a certain celeb's stans by (jokingly) stating on a livestream that they've "Got as many clothes in their closet as [redacted] has exes." People demanded "Accountability." They posted a link to a SimsTube video response with the title "Let's Talk (Apology)." It was not an apology, but rather a clip of them going "Wooooow, you bitches really thought. Anyway, steam Traumazine."

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

was just scrolling thru one of those tag games and saw this!

Penny for ur thoughts? 0.0

OK SO!(tm)

I. first the data. in 1978, a gallup poll found that 11% of american adults believe in ghosts. today it's around 40%. that's an incredibly fast rise, so let's look closer. women are much more likely than men to believe in ghosts. democrats are more likely than republicans. less educated people and northwestern americans and almost every minority ethnic group (Latinos are an exception) are more likely to believe in ghosts. also non-christians. i stared at this set of demographics for a long time originally. modern, non-christian, female, liberal, poorer people tend overall to have beliefs i agree with. i don't believe in ghosts. no shade if you do. but does this data mean i should start? i'll fast-forward through my crisis for you. my conclusion is almost all of these correlations are actually just a result of one of them. the non-christians. non-christians tend to be female and liberal and non-white and more common today than the 70s. the same people who don't have a jesus to believe in have something else.

II. so the big question, what causes a belief in ghosts? we know gas leaks help. and there's a huge leap in the late nineteenth century. and christianity seems to anticorrelate. perhaps humans just need to believe in bullshit! maybe! maybe a belief in ghosts is a sublimation of spirituality in want of a religion. and maybe that's fine. maybe we need faith more than we need a god. i think this is why it's so hard to meet other queers who aren't into astrology. maybe one of the constant societal struggles is finding something to worship that won't cause harm. i'm still looking for mine.

III. let's step back. life lesson in all of science and meaning-making: any time you notice a system has two factors heavily correlating, ask if causation could be going both ways or if there's a confounding factor (and sample size and if you trust the source etc.). it makes sense to say leaving the church makes you more susceptible to believing in ghosts, and it also makes sense to say believing in ghosts would make you doubt a tripartite afterlife. and i think it very much makes sense to say when a culture based in christianity goes through a major change for any reason, maybe people get shaken out of the dominant religion and start believing in something else in tandem. this change is what would be called a confounding factor in statistics, and a statistician would now look for what it exactly is. but i don't think there's a big single moral here, i think it's a lot of change happening for any reason change happens, then patterns existing only in the wake lines.

IV. let's step further back. let's look at that late nineteenth century part i mentioned. a lot was changing and industrializing, especially science's relationship with religion. a bunch of deliberate hoaxes led by women convinced the public ghosts were real and could be spoken with. this was by no means an american exclusive, but the late nineteenth century is when many americans had just suffered a war and for the first time had to learn to mourn a loved one without a body to bury, just a letter they were told to trust. this was a people primed for a haunting. another reason mediums gained so much credibility is because of misogyny itself: it was an informal religious movement without gates to keep, and it favored feminine intuition and mystique. and these lowly servants from the simpler sex were regularly seen channeling eloquent, confident speeches. what explanation could there be but possession?

and yet this misogyny meant the weekly life of an upstanding gentleman began to include going to a woman's house, shutting up, and listening to her explain the ways of the world. it was not even a secret that almost all such mediums were advocates for women's rights. one clairvoyant named Victoria Woodhull was the first woman to found a newspaper, became the first woman to address a congressional committee when petitioning for suffrage, she supported paid sex work, she was against abortion, she was against several other spiritualists, and she believed all sex should be consensual. and so the first wave distanced themselves from her for these extremely radical, not-entirely-progressive beliefs. but if you know her, it's probably because she, largely as a stunt, was the first woman to run for president of the united states. her background was as a carnival medium. one might say she could see the future.

on the opposite side of first wave feminism, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Sojourner Truth (the latter reluctantly) publicly embraced spiritualism. Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, in History of Woman Suffrage write “…the only religious sect in the world that has recognized the equality of the woman is the spiritualists.”

V. i don't know that ghosts aren't real. i do believe that a currently rising belief in ghosts speaks less to an afterlife than it does to a cultural, spiritual inflection point among us living. i don't know if i'd say faith is necessary. i think faith definitely makes a lot of living easier. but if i have a point, my point is everything you do believe comes from somewhere.

[pridepages]

eARC Review: Who We Are in Real Life

Photo Credit: Victoria Koops A HUGE thank you to Netgalley and House of Anansi Press for providing me an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  IRL, Darcy has just moved to the small prairie town of Unity Creek with her two moms. It feels like she left everything good behind in the city. She misses her tabletop gaming friends and her boyfriend ― and is horrified by the homophobia her family faces in their new home. Then she meets kind, quiet Art, who invites her to join his Dungeons & Dragons game. Art is mostly happy fading into the background at school and only really coming alive during his friends’ weekly D&D game ― until meeting Darcy pulls his life off-course in wonderful and alarming ways. Suddenly he has something worth fighting for. But what if that something puts him in conflict with his father, an influential and conservative figure in their town? Can Art stand up against his father’s efforts to prevent Darcy and her friends from starting a queer-straight alliance at school? Meanwhile, in game, Darcy’s and Art’s D&D characters join forces to fight corruption as they grow closer in the homebrew world of Durgeon’s Keep ― as fantasy and reality collide.

RELEASE DATE: 2/6/2024

See my full review under the cut!

Victoria Koops's new YA novel is a fresh take on the hellish experience of being a teenager who'd take sword and sorcery over the trials and trauma of school dances. It's part role-playing fantasy epic and part coming-of-age story.

The stronger half--fascinatingly, the more original half--is the real-world arc.

As someone who grew up in a world full of LGBT YA books that centered almost exclusively on white cis gay boys (sorry, Simon Spier), I find the complexity and nuance of the gay themes in Who We Are in Real Life refreshing. For once, this is not a coming-out arc. While those stories will always have a place in our culture, we need to see more. There is a whole generation growing up being shown not only that being gay is okay, but also that there are a whole lot of identities out there besides homosexual.

Darcy is the bisexual daughter of lesbian mothers. It's not a secret. Her family is out-and-proud, trying to keep their heads held high even as they are met with suspicion and hostility. Art quickly falls for Darcy. He loves his younger sister, who is also LGBTQIA+. As he gets drawn into the friend group forming around them, Art is forced to confront his limitations. Raised by a blatantly homophobic father, Art may not see himself as homophobic. But he is frequently checked throughout the book until he learns how to identify the implicit--or complicit--ways he contributes to homophobia. In a powerful scene, Art draws the battle lines and insists that his father take steps to support both his children, or else he may end up without either. It's a powerful model of allyship!

Unfortunately, the novel is most burdened by the parts that are supposed to be the most fun. The scenes that take place 'in-game' are distracting and throw off the pacing. I figured out far too late that the story of Art's character is supposed to parallel what's happening in his life--that he's using the game to work out the kind of person he wants to be outside the confines of imagination. (Pro tip: if it takes more than a scene or two to work that out, then the conceit isn't effective.)

Another struggle for this novel was hitting the right tone. There are some serious topics covered (including on-page scenes of domestic violence). But the style of the text, the 'voice,' reads closer to a middle-grade than young adult. As I was reading, sometimes I would think: 'This book could be a useful tool to show younger readers what queerness can look like.' Then I would remember the maturity of the scenes and hesitate. Like its teen protagonists, this novel suffers from an identity crisis!

Adult readers seeking queer fantasy representation should give this book a miss. There are other books--even YA and middle grade titles--that you will get more out of. Frankly, what pushed my rating up from a 3-3.5 stars was looking at this book from the perspective of its intended audience. As a story that could broaden horizons for younger readers, the book deserves to be recognized for its contributions and promoted for its potential to do good in real life.

[jgroffdaily]

Knock at the Cabin reviews - part 2

ABC News

Groff, so great as singer ("Spring Awakening," "Hamilton") and actor ("Mindhunter," "Looking"), is superb as Eric and speaks movingly to Shyamalan's theme about the necessity of faith in times of crisis.

New York Post

Groff and Aldridge make a believably agonized couple who struggle to protect their daughter and strategize how to survive. Groff is such an innocent, positive presence, and it’s funny how he keeps winding up in all these messed-up projects: “Mindhunter,” “The Matrix Resurrections” and now the poor guy’s tied up to a chair in PA.

Discussingfilm.net

In the end, this is really Jonathan Groff and Ben Aldridge’s show though. The leading duo endlessly captivates as their on-screen love is tested by destiny. Along with the charming newfound talent in Kristen Cui, they capture the realness of a found family who must make an unthinkable choice to survive. 

Empire

Groff and Aldridge’s rising panic is palpable, fuelling the suffocating tension, which mounts almost without respite over the course of 100 agonising minutes

Looper

It sure helps that he's got one of the better casts he's assembled in his later years, with Bautista so perfectly suited to the complex part of Leonard, and Groff so endearing as a weakened man coming to grips with the sacrifice he must make.

Entertainment Weekly

What's left is a handful of earnest, affecting performances — Bautista as the gentle giant, Groff as an essentially good man grappling with incomprehensible choices 

NextBestPicture

Aldridge and Groff are easy to root for, sharing a deeply lived-in bond within a relationship that clearly hasn’t always been easy.

The Queer Review

Jonathan Groff has an inherent sweetness to him which helps to sell his character’s shifting point of view. I bought him as this somewhat square daddy whose people pleasing tendencies give way to being open to perhaps the more unbelievable information hurled at them. Groff gets extra points for not spitting all over his co-stars, something he’s famous for doing on stage, during the obligatory singing in the car scene.

Inverse.com

But if there’s anyone to hold a candle to Bautista, it’s Jonathan Groff and Ben Aldridge as Eric and Andrew, whose stubborn resistance to the strangers’ awful demands is only superseded by their unflagging loyalty to each other and Wen. Unlike the four strangers, Eric and Andrew are given the benefit of a character arc, with flashbacks to their lives together interwoven throughout the movie. It helps the two feel like the most fleshed-out and intensely human of Shyamalan characters, an achievement aided by the fact that Groff and Aldridge seem to have sidestepped the “awkward dialogue” requirements of his films.

Creative Loafing Tampa Bay

The cast is impeccable, with Tampa resident Dave Bautista and Jonathan Groff in particular leading the charge.

Den of Geek

Jonathan Groff provides a softer, more malleable counterpart, and the two men share enough chemistry that watching them slowly get pulled in different directions becomes a little heartbreaking.