#webcam icons

[the-tortured-poets-dpt]

⋆｡˚ oh darling don’t you ever grow up ˚｡⋆

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

synopsis: while gaming with your friends who live in your dorm, someone suggests something a little cynical and humiliating for the loser to do

tags: explicit, vulgar, m@sterbation on cam, 3some, penetration, oral

wrd cnt: 1.2k

a/n: repost/rewrite! (continuation)

The normal night for you and your friends after a brutual day of calculus was a quick game of whatever the three of you decided that night...and quick was a few hours.

The three of you lived in the same building, but it was more convenient to just game together on call.

Tonight it was rounds and rounds of "poker night 2".

"Can you hurry it up?" Scara says, waiting on Xiao

"You know..unlike you I actually look at my cards" Xiao replies, rolling his eyes in the webcam and smiling when he hears you chuckle.

"All I'm saying is, I didn't win for nothing last round."

"Beginners luck" You say, raising your eyebrows in question of his skill, earning a scoff from Scara.

The game went on for a while, and the three of you had the usual banter and laughter, which made the comments ahead a little... questionable.

"Xiao…...I swear to you if you win this round I'm going to bed and blocking you."

"Wanna bet on it, dick?"

"Of course you're thinking about dick" Scars jokes, in a mockerish tone making you burst out into laughter.

"You think about jerking off more than what's for lunch."

"So that's the bet tonight??" You say, not expecting what Xiao would say next.

"What so loser has to jerk off for the world to see?" Xiao says, the light of the monitor screen reflecting into his eyes in his dark room, as he waits for a joke in response.

"I'm down." You say, hearing Scara slightly sigh out a deep breath before agreeing alone with you.

Suddenly a game of poker had a lot more riding on it than some fake money.

Of course, in ironic fashion Scara is in a loosing streak and cursing loudly at every terrible hand that follows his incredible bluffs.

"I can hear you from the fucking CEILING. Calm down..." Xiao says.

It was down to either you or Xiao, Scara losing considerably already, so at least you saved yourself the embarrassment of losing the bet.

It was your turn at this point, and you decided to go all in; with a straight flush. No way you weren't going to win.

Xiao, in the lead, didn't need to win, he just needed you to lose.

You were confident in your choice....until you saw Scaras cards.

A royal, fucking, flush.

"Fuck" you breathe out. You saw your character icon drop down down to the number "0". Game over for you.

“You don’t have to actually y/n- it was just a joke.” Xiao mentions.

“Fuck off”, you yell, your competitive nature acting before thinking.

You dropped your pants and spread your legs over the arm rests, each leg on either side as you groaned in annoyance at your loss.

"Uh oh...someone's not so happy huh?"

"Shut the hell up..." You say, defeated and salty, so close to winning. "I-I won't let you win again you know...this is just a one time thing" You manage to spit out, deep sighs leaving your body as only your chest and below is left in frame, your fingers visibly rubbing your hard nipples through your tank top as you begin to pinch and rub your clit, before fingering yourself with only your panties to cover your pussy.

"Fuck..." Xiao whispers, barely making its way to your ears as his palm covered the lower half of your face.

"Heh....what a bunch of whores the two of you..." You say, whimpering as the sounds of your slick coating your fingers becomes more and more apparent, your throat pitching higher as you gasp and moan for release, hearing Xiao and Scaras voices get deeper with groans, the sound of them pumping their cocks to the sight of you and your arousal.

Was was meant to be just a joke was your downfall.

Soon after, you see the boxes that would be Scara and Xiaos names and faces turn to black, leaving you feeling guilty and really fucking desperate, did you do something wrong?

You didn't know what would come next, they were your only friends on campus after all.

Minutes that felt like hours passed, and a furious knock returned at the door, almost startling due to how vulnerable you were right now.

"Y/n...it's us." You heard from beyond the wall.

Familiar voices which made you even more nervous as you open the door, Xiao and Scara leaning their bodies against the door frame with animalistic looks plastered upon their countenance, cheeks blushed and eyes set low.

"What's wrong..." You asked, letting them slowly enter your room, dimly lit with just the computer screen illuminating the space that they'd seen just from the other side.

"What do you think?" Scara says, his hand finding your waist as he pushes you aside to close the door now behind you, pressing you against it.

"Tell us this is what you want to…isn't it?" Xiao says, his face so close to yours you're practically sharing the same breathes of air, feeling his warm hand on your side of your neck as he spoke.

It took you 2 good minutes of convincing with a makeout against the door and you were so easily stripped, and layed into bed, and in such vulgar positions.

Scara holding your hips behind him, and Xiao next to your head.

They already knew how they were going to fuck you, Scara, imaging it as he saw how you pleasured yourself; on your hands and knees with your ass in the air would give him a good look of his cock sinking into your tight little hole; the one you were riding on call.

Your hands gripped your own sheets tighter until your knuckles were lightened from how slowly he started to push his thick cock inside of you. Scara groaned, smacking a hand across your ass before reaching his hand down to rub your clit in circles like he watched you do on call.

"You like that? It looked so sexy when you did it for us. Made me so fucking hard..." He'd spout, feeling your cunt clench around him.

"I'm here too you know" Xiao says, his thumb toying with your bottom lip before it parts your mouth open, the tip of his cock allowed itself in as muffled moans from how Scara thrusted into you vibrate around his length, making him groan and throw his head back; pinching and tugging at your perky nipples from under you all the while.

"Fuck..you have suck a nice mouth y/n...."

"Don't get me started on her pussy..." Scara groaned, one hand gripping your hip with the other was wrapped in his hair, keeping it back as he fucked you so deep and full.

"You'll take me next, right y/n?" Xiao cried, his eye brows furrowed as he looks down to see your mouth wrapped around him, wet sounds of your pussy and the drool around his cock making sinful noises in symphony.

"Fuck fuck fuck....can I come inside y/n...please-god it’s too much”.

Scara groans, seconds away from painting your pussy white, looking to Xiao for your confirmation.

You urgently nod, needing to feel his cum inside you.

That's exactly what you got.

With one last thrust Scara held your hips close to his, emptying out his balls into you as Xiao did the same. Cum dripping out of your cunt and more going down your throat, both the men breathlessly grunting, pleasure taken over all three of you.

Maybe losing wasn't so bad after all?

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[bamsara]

Hello! So I was wondering about something with your Twitch Livestreams. This’ll probably sound silly but I noticed you had an icon that displayed song titles for the music being played and wanted to know how you did that? I’ve been looking all over and so far have found nothing for it. Thank you in advance if you’re able to respond!

It's the banner used by COTL to display happenings in the Cult!

Here's the banner:

When I have the banner in my stream overlay, (above all other layers) I add spotify or my personal desktop music as screenshare, shrink the visible screen to just fit around the player portion that displays the name + artist, and then put it over the banner so it's easy to read.

(For Streamlabs) To put your music player over the image, go to capture image and select whatever music player you use (I use spotify or my desktop) Select new source, (might have to click the tab at bottom of the window), select music player. THEN hold down 'ALT' as you select the captured screen, and you can crop the window that way around the player, then drag over the banner or whatever image you use.) This tutorial shows with a webcam but it works with everything.

As for my streams, I took the banner and drew symbols around it so it's a little more animated whenever I have my 'break' or 'starting soon' screen up. It's not what I used for displaying music, but if anyone wants to use that here it is!

[hwazzwrites]

Seonghwa drabble based off this photo

You had met Seonghwa through a discord server, seems innocent enough, you two would always play games together, be affectionate, match icons and everything. Some people would even think your a couple, but you said you were bffs.

Seonghwa randomly dmed you one night while you were playing minecraft alone.

Seonghwa<3

Seonghwa: Hey, do you think you could help me with something _____?

You: Sure! What's up?

Seonghwa: Call me..

You called Seonghwa confused, not hearing anything from his end of the mic you spoke up "Hey, Seonghwa, you there?" Short and heavy breathing was heard from his side of the mic as he spoke up a few seconds after "Hey.. C–Could we uhm turn on our cameras?" "Oh sure! Let me set up my webcam.." After setting up your webcam and making sure it was hooked up you turned it on, a smile on your face as you saw Seonghwa's turned on, only to have your smile drop and become flustered as you saw Seonghwa with his dick in his hand, his face flushed as his glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, slightly restricting air flow through his nose as he breathed heavily. "H–Hi.. Sorry for this being so sudden but I just need to see your pretty face.. Looking at the photos you send in the selfies channel just wasn't enough.." He confessed as one of his hands still sat on his twitching dick, the tip leaking precum which got onto his hands, rubbing your thighs together you didn't know what to say, you had been crushing on Seonghwa for a while and you found out he was jerking off to you? You couldn't help but get wet at the thought of him getting off to you. Inhaling and exhaling softly before you spoke up again, your tone of voice was like velvet "Do you need help, pretty boy?" His grip on his cock got tighter as he groaned and nodded "P–Please.." A small whimper emitted from him as he looked at you with a lustful gaze, his glasses fogged up from how heavily he was breathing. "Go on then, play with yourself baby." You told him as you took off your own sleep shorts, your fingers slowly sliding down your inner thigh, feeling your own arousal sticking to your thighs as you sighed softly, watching Seonghwa begin a slow up and down movement on his cock, your fingers finding their way to your folds as you hummed softly, hearing Seonghwa whimper and breath heavily, slipping two fingers into your wet hole, a breathy moan escaping you as you began fucking yourself with your fingers slowly. "F–Fuck.. Can I speed up..? Please.." Seonghwa whined as you let out an airy laugh and shaking your head "Hold on baby, let me grab something." Turning off your camera for a second you went over to your nightstand and opened the drawer, grabbing out a pink dildo and lube, walking back to your desk and pulling your headphones back on and angling your webcam right at your pussy, seeing how Seonghwa had stopped moving while he was waiting for you made you clench around nothing, turning your camera back on he threw his head back and groaned, his adams apple visible as he spoke softly "What are you doing..?" "You'll see darling." grabbing the pink dildo from off your desk you showed it to Seonghwa, he couldn't see your face but you were smirking behind the camera. Grabbing the bottle of lube and putting it on your hand before rubbing it on the dildo, aligning it with your hole and pushing it in softly, sighing out in pleasure as you told Seonghwa what to do again "Go on baby, fuck into your hand and think it's my pussy.." He nodded frantically as he began fucking up into his hand quickly, you began moving the dildo inside of you, matching up with Seonghwa's movements as you and him moaned together, sometimes he'd whimper and groan, the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten as you spoke "S–Seonghwa I'm close.. Let's cum together yeah?" He could only nod as he began moaning your name like a mantra, biting your lip as the coil snapped and you both came, Seonghwa cumming all over his hand and you cumming all over the dildo, both leaving you breathless and sweaty, coming down from your high you slowly removed the dildo and discarded it behind you. "So, does this count as a confession?" You laughed softly as you watched him nod, his glasses had now fallen off his face and onto his chest, he was still breathless for a few minutes before he spoke up to you "I guess it is.. I've liked you for a while _____ But I just never had the guts to tell you.." Laughing softly "I like you too idiot."

[darlingdreadwrites]

cam

pairing: Edward Nashton x GN!Reader

summary: Edward finds your hacked webcam feed and can’t help but watch you.

contains: edward being a little creep, webcams, edward finding you absolutely fascinating, voyeurism

warnings: again eddie being a creep, stalking, getting watched through camera without consent, dub-con I think (if you think even an insinuation is too much, don't read it. ily), slight nsfw at the end but it doesn’t go beyond his hand on his lap, poorly written work-arounds to explain hacking into said camera

word count: 544

masterlist

a.n: i wrote this months ago and reworked on it. i wanted to make it a series but idk.

Edward had a habit of watching people through their cameras when he felt stressed. And, fuck, was he stressed today. He liked to watch others go through their day—oblivious to the vigilante who watched them. He typed out the familiar website and scrolled through the channels of unsuspecting people. Hacked front door cameras, baby cams, security cameras, and, of course, webcams.

His eyes found interest in someone whose face was rather close to their screen. Your hair splaying in different directions, your brows twitched as they furrowed, and your nose scrunching in concentration. Oh, weren’t you cute?

For some reason, you had piqued Edward's interest. You seemed like you were typing away on your keyboard with a flurry, the only sources of light being a small lamp in the corner of the room and your bright screen. Every other detail in your room was hidden in harsh shadows.

He clicked on the channel almost immediately. Nobody else was in here, he noted as he saw the little person icon go from zero to one. He tilted his head and leaned back slightly and waited for the audio to load in. He jumped as your music blared through his speakers. He scrambled to mute the channel, regulating his breathing when he did.

With a deep inhalation, he cautiously raised the volume to one that wouldn't cause his ears to bleed. He listened closely to the lyrics and melody to find some familiarity. He couldn't recognize the jumpy, dark tune, but he noted how danceable it seemed to be for you. You seemed to sway deliciously to it as you wrote. Sometimes stopping to dance in your chair and mouth along to the words, just to go back to writing furiously.

His eyes were trained on your concentrated ones. It was as if he thought looking hard enough would allow him to see what you were writing. He huffed through his nostrils when he found his attempt was unsuccessful. Yet, he was too intrigued to let this go. Just as he was going to open up the proper tools to get to the screen your attention was on, he paused.

You had stopped writing and reached for something not in the camera's view. Your pretty little hand was holding the neck of a wine bottle. Throwing your head back as you took quick gulps. You put the bottle down and gasped for air, wiping your mouth with the palm of your hand. You smiled, the swaying of your shoulders becoming more expressive.

Edward watched on, perplexed, as you stood from your swivel chair and began to sway and mouth the words, wine bottle still in hand. Your hands raised upwards, only one of them stopping midway to press the bottle to your lips. Something about this made his lips twitch into a crooked smile. And itchy. Very itchy. Had he always been sweating?

He blinked rapidly and grunted, pressing down the commands on his keyboard to open the program that would allow access to your computer. He continued to type as more windows kept popping up, momentarily glancing up to watch you dance. The palm of his right hand pressing into the crotch area of his jeans had simply found itself there on its own.

[ultram0th]

Wolfe Glick's New Career

Part 1 │ Part 2

"Damn it!” Blue, working in his home office, heard Kevin groan from the front door.

He pushed himself away from his desk and walked downstairs, trying to figure out what was wrong. In the entryway of their home, he saw his shirtless, hairy boyfriend clad in nothing but a skimpy jockstrap that struggled to contain his massive bulge. He was frowning as he glanced at the porch, the door swinging wide open so that the whole neighborhood could see his buff frame.

“What is it?” Blue asked, placing a tender hand on Kevin’s hairy pec, trying to fight back a smile as the other man shuddered at the touch, his jockstrap-clad bulge twitching.

Kevin tried to focus on the issue at hand, even as he leaned further into Blue’s touch. “Someone stole our package,” he whined. “Again!”

At the sound of the ruckus downstairs, Nick made his way down and over to the other two. He was still naked from his interrupted stream, his hard cock bobbing out in front of him with every step he took. The only thing he wore was a cowboy hat— something that was a permanent fixture of his wardrobe. “What’s goin’ on?” he asked, his thick country boy accent as prominent as ever.

Blue crossed his arms in front of himself. “It seems that there’s been some porch pirates in the area,” he mused, trying to think up a solution.

Kevin snorted, “Maybe if we had a guard dog to scare the thieves away.”

Nick nodded in agreement. “Some big fella who would scare any of them robbers away. That’d do the trick.”

An idea started to form in Blue’s mind and he began to smirk to himself. “A big, strong guard dog?” he hummed. “That’s a pretty good idea…”

— — —

“…so make sure you like and subscribe for more Pokémon content,” Wolfe Glick said into his webcam, giving his usual sign off for his next video. He clicked on the red circle icon, stopping his recording.

He glanced at the time on his computer, and shot out of his seat once he realized that he was running late for his appointment. The World Champion Pokémon player was an avid streamer, and with Worlds coming up, he was starting to feel the pressure a little bit. It wasn’t anything too terrible, but Wolfe figured that the smartest thing to do would be to talk to a professional before any of his anxieties grew.

After doing some Internet searching, Wolfe had stumbled upon the homepage of a certain hypnotherapist named Blue, who claimed to specialize in work-related anxiety. After one phone call, he’d made an appointment with the hypnotherapist, hoping that he could use his expertise to help him dominate at Worlds and maintain his top position as the World’s Greatest Pokémon Master.

After leaving his place, Wolfe made it to the hypnotherapist’s home office just in time. He parked his car in back and made his way up to the front door.

He barely had time to knock before the front door swung open, revealing the doctor. “Welcome, Wolfe,” Blue grinned. “I’ve been expecting you. Please come in.”

The streamer followed Blue inside the home, noting how cozy it was. There was the faint smell of musk, as if there was an at-home gym on the premises. Plus, he could see a variety of consoles and gaming memorabilia.

“You game?” Wolfe asked, finding playing video games a safe way to form a connection with a new person.

Blue nodded as he led the other man into his office, gesturing towards the sofa for him to relax on. “From time to time,” he said. “My boyfriends play a lot more than I do. They actually stream for a living.”

Wolfe nodded to himself as he took the offered seat.

“But you didn’t come all the way here to discuss gaming with me, did you?” Blue asked, grabbing his notebook and pen. “Tell me, Wolfe, what’s on your mind?”

The streamer shrugged his broad shoulders, and the bottom of his polo lifted with the action, giving Blue a sneak peek of his happy trail. “I’ve just been feeling a little stress and anxiety over this competition that’s coming up,” he admitted. “It’s nothing too much, but I just wanted to talk to someone to make sure I stay grounded.”

Blue nodded, humming to himself in thought. “You know,” he finally said, “there are some hypnosis treatments that I can offer you to help keep your stress levels down.”

“Sure, let’s try it,” he said, leaning back into the sofa.

The hypnotherapist fought to hide his mischievous smirk as he grabbed his pocket watch out of his coat. “Now, just focus your attention on the watch and listen to the sound of my voice,” he said in a smooth tone. 

Wolfe did as instructed, and he instantly felt relaxed as he watched the pocket watch swing left and right. The sounds of the Blue’s melodic words lulled him into a deep sleep, and eventually his eyes glazed over and his jaw was slack as he fell under Blue’s control.

A wide grin stretched out Blue’s face. “Now Wolfe, I want you to listen to every command I give you,” he said, his voice slow and deep. “Tell me if you understand.”

“I understand,” Wolfe repeated in a monotone, his eyes still fixated on the swinging pocket watch.

“Now, Wolfe, you may continue your streaming career, but you’re also going to take up another passion: Bodybuilding.”

“I will take up bodybuilding,” Wolfe repeated.

“You will look into bodybuilding and you will grow consumed with the thought of getting bigger. And you won’t listen to anyone who questions this new desire of yours.”

“I want to get bigger.”

Snap! Blue snapped his fingers, jolting Wolfe out of his daze.

Wolfe jerked back in his seat, rubbing at his temples in confusion. The last thing he’d been able to vividly recall was arriving at the doctor’s home. Yet, after that, everything was fuzzy. He struggled to recall anything during the hypnosis session, but a thick fog seemed to solidify in his brain, effectively blocking it out.

The streamer continued to massage his foggy head as he tried to piece together anything. However, he soon realized that the mild panic he’d felt earlier in the morning was gone. Whereas, he’d felt a little apprehension about the upcoming Pokémon tournaments, he didn’t feel worried in the slightest now as he sat in front of Blue.

The man perked up. “It worked!” he gasped in surprised. “Holy crap, it actually worked!”

Blue smiled to himself. “Of course it did,” he chuckled. “Now, let’s go ahead an schedule you a follow-up…”

After scheduling another session, Wolfe left the doctor’s office with his head held high. The cute streamer was in awe that the hypnotherapy actually worked, and he was planning on telling all of his friends about the miracle worker that Dr. Blue was. However, all of his elation fell down to the ground when he saw his reflection in the tinted windows of his car.

Wolfe deeply frowned when he examined his body.

He’d worn a simple polo and some shorts for his session, so his limbs were easily visible. However, the man grew self-conscious when he saw how stick thin and tiny his arms looked. He flexed one arm, feeling immense disappointment when his bicep barely created a lump. Looking down at himself, his chest seemed embarrassingly flat, showing absolutely zero traces of muscle whatsoever. And his legs were like toothpicks: thin and simple.

Never before had Wolfe ever felt self-conscious about his body. Being a streamer, he tended to not get as much exercise as he’d preferred to; however, all he seemed to be able to think about as he stared at his slender reflection was that he was so small and tiny.

Without a second thought, Wolfe got into his car and sped down the road to one of the local gyms in the area. He hurried inside and paid for a membership, immediately heading towards the weight pile…

— — —

There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Blue left his office to go answer it. He swung it open widely, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he saw his altered client.

“Good morning, Dr. Blue,” Wolfe smiled as he entered the house for his follow-up appointment.

It’d been about two months since his last visit, and although he’d known that the results would be drastic, Blue still wasn’t fully prepared for what he saw.

Whereas before, Wolfe had been rather slender and toned, this new hunk was packed with solid muscle. Still wearing the same sized clothes as before, Wolfe’s new muscles stretched every fabric to the limit. His arms had grown, making the tight sleeves of his polo bunch up near his rounding shoulders. The bottom of his shirt was lifted a little bit due to his growing pecs that were now so big that the streamer couldn’t button up the polo at the top. His legs had grown a bit too, forcing his usual strut to take on a little bit of a waddle.

“Wow, Wolfe, you’ve been working out, haven’t you?” Blue mused, quite literally drooling over the growing gamer.

Wolfe blushed a little bit. “Yeah, a little bit,” he said, flexing a sizable bicep, causing the fabric around his arms to rip a little bit. “I’m still nowhere near as big as I’d like to be though.”

Blue smirked a little as an idea formed in his head. “Well, I can help you out with that too,” he offered. “If you’d like, of course.”

Wolfe eagerly agreed and nearly threw himself down onto the couch, sitting up straight as he readied himself for another hypnotherapy session. His stress levels were already at an all time low, so if Blue could help him out with his workouts, then he’d feel one-hundred percent at peace. Over the past few months, Wolfe still streamed and prepared for Worlds; however, whenever he wasn’t playing Pokémon, the stud was in the gym. He worked out religiously all in attempt to bulk up. Although he was gaining some impressive muscles in such a short amount of time (and he’d already gained about twenty pounds of pure muscle), he was nowhere near feeling big enough. He still felt tiny, despite having outgrown all of his clothes that were now plastered against his growing frame.

“Just pay attention to the pocket watch,” Blue ordered, swinging it to and fro.

Again, it didn’t take long before Wolfe was lost in a trance, his jaw slacked as the growing muscle stud was put under.

“Wolfe,” Blue smiled, “you’re making some nice progress, but we can speed things up a bit. You’re now going to feel an urge to take steroids so that you can get as inhumanly big as possible.”

“I will take steroids,” Wolfe repeated, his voice robotic and slow.

“And once you’re all big and bulky like a bodybuilder, you’ll come move in here to be our good guard dog.”

“I will be a big guard dog…”

— — —

Over the next few months, Wolfe practically lived in the gym. He still focused on his streaming career, and even won Worlds. However, now that that was out of the way, the growing hunk was able to devote all of his time to working out and growing his muscles.

At his gym, he’d managed to make some connections to get a hold of some fast-acting steroids that were guaranteed to bring about drastic results. At first, Wolfe noticed the side effects more than anything. His body hair grew in thicker with all of the extra testosterone in his system, leading to his chest hair growing in at a faster rate and covering up all of his budding muscles. And his libido was in hyperdrive. The streamer was constantly horny, and after each workout session, he had to excuse himself to the locker room to take care of his throbbing member.

Whereas Wolfe had started out his hypnotherapy sessions weighing in a regular 180 pounds, the stud was now topping the scales at 320 pounds of pure, solid muscle. His arms had packed on so much size that he had trouble bending them past a ninety degree angle, and whenever they were relaxed, they rested atop his new flaring lats. His pecs had inflated to large proportions, looking cumbersome and heavy as they jutted off his torso. The hairy mounds were so large that they forced his nipples to point downward; and his large pecs and arms kept pushing against each other whenever he tried to told a game controller for his streams which led to a lot of his videos showing him struggling to get comfortable in his tiny chair with such a large bulky body. His legs were so large now that the streamer waddled everywhere he went, his massive thighs rolling over each other with each step. Thanks to his steroid usage, his stomach pushed out slightly, giving him the beginnings of what would eventually turn into a large, round roidgut.

Wolfe was huge! His large hairy muscles were professional bodybuilder size, and the stud still wanted to get bigger. He had trouble finding clothes that would fit over his enormous bulk, resulting in his wardrobe consisting of numerous tanks and loose shorts. Still, at their largest size, his shorts appeared shrink wrapped around his big quads, and his pecs constantly spilled out over the tops of his tanks.

It was dressed like this that Wolfe made his way back to Blue’s place for what was supposed to be their final session. Although Wolfe felt as if his anxiety was under control, he still felt compelled to venture back to the hypnotherapist’s office.

When he entered, he felt an odd surge of pride when he saw how wide Blue’s eyes got when looking at his muscles.

“Wow, Wolfey,” Blue genuinely mused. “You’re huge!”

Wolfe felt his face stretch out into a joyful smile at being called huge, and he couldn’t resist forming a double biceps pose on the spot. His mountainous biceps flexed with power, and since he’d come straight to the doctor’s after his workout, his hairy pits were all sweaty and musky, filling the small office with a locker room aroma.

Blue ran an admiring hand over one of Wolfe’s large muscletits, giving the round muscle a playful squeeze. “You must’ve been working out a lot,” he teased. “Such a big, strong guy you are!”

Wolfe couldn’t help but preen at the compliments he was getting. For some strange reason, they seemed to bring about a joyous sensation deep within him, and he felt himself growing more and more excited by the second. His hard cock started to tent out his workout shorts, and he moved to another pose. This time, forming a side chest pose to illustrate just how much work he’d put into building up his massive body.

“Is that him?” Wolfe heard a deep voice with a country accent ask.

Still posing, he looked over to the stairs to see two men descend. One was wearing cowboy hat while the other had grown out what looked like a porn stache. Both were hairy and left their impressive (yet way smaller than his) chests on full display.

Instead of being self-conscious at being caught showing off his muscles for another guy, Wolfe loved having more guys look at him. The streamer leaned forward to form a most muscular pose, loving every second that the three guys were gawking at his humongous muscles.

“Yep,” Blue said, clapping Wolfe on the back. “This is Wolfey, our new guard dog. With muscles as big as his, no one will dare to steal our packages anymore. Watch…”

The hypnotherapist pressed a button on his phone, making the doorbell ring.

Something inside of Wolfe clicked and the large bodybuilder streamer felt a fierce protectiveness grow inside of himself. Looking at Blue, Nick, and Kevin, Wolfe started to view the men in a different light. Suddenly, instead of strangers, the three of them were the most handsome men in the world to Wolfe, and he could feel an almost animalistic instinct form in the pit of his gut.

At the thought of someone being at the door, Wolfe dropped onto all fours with a loud thud. The large bodybuilder crawled over the door, his massive muscular arms slamming onto the floor intimidatingly as he moved. He felt himself bare his teeth, letting out a low, bellowing growl.

“Grrr…” Wolfey growled as he protected his new home like a guard dog. He puffed out his hairy, muscular chest with power. Had someone really been at the door, then no doubt, they would’ve been scared away by the sight of the growling bodybuilder.

Blue smirked and walked up to Wolfey. He fastened a leather collar with spikes adorning it around his neck. Attached to it was a metallic tag in the shape of a dog bone that read out: WOLFEY.

Wolfey flinched at the feeling and for a moment, something inside of his foggy brain screamed at him that something was wrong. It said that he shouldn’t be on the floor of the hypnotherapist’s office, and that he shouldn’t be this big. However, as he looked up into Blue’s eyes, he felt the panic quickly evaporate and he flexed his large muscles with pride.

“Who’s my good boy?” Blue teasingly asked, patting Wolfey on the head.

The bodybuilder streamer straightened his posture and flexed his large arms again. “Me,” he beamed widely. “I’m a good boy!”

Over the next few days, Wolfey blended into the new dynamic at Blue’s household seamlessly. In the morning, he would wake up and stream some Pokémon, showing off his massive muscles for his viewers and flexing whenever they tipped him. Then he’d start to work out in the home gym, grunting loudly as he lifted heavy weights like they were nothing. He also proved to be quite the guard dog too, fiercely protecting his new house and its inhabitants. There were no more porch pirate incidents, especially after Wolfey came bounding out the front door, barking and displaying his massive muscles to scare the would-be robber away.

The massive bodybuilder guard dog loved his new life with Blue, Kevin, and Nick. He was such a good boy.

[a-game-of-beginnings]

Exceptionally Cursed

Feeling very Stanley but there's no way to express your feelings appropiately? If you are in possession of a webcam and a Steam account to download VTube Studio (the free version comes with a little fluttering watermark friend), there actually is a way!

Okay, yes, I slapped this together on Stanley Day, and it's a VERY CURSED avatar for webcam tracking. And I really do mean Very Cursed. I spent four hours on this and that is practically zero time at all in regards of webcam avatars. I also made sure it's just about as horrible as possible. The preview icon does not do it any justice.

You've been warned. That said. It's great for memes and terrorizing friends. You can [download the ZIP file here], unpack that into the Live2D assets in the VTube Studio folder (Steam - steamapps - common - VTube Studio - VTube Studio_Data - StreamingAssets - Live2DModels), load him in, start up your cam and you should be good to go.

[italiansteebie]

Love on Screen

Welcome to my Streamer au :-) Episode One, also on ao3 (Preferred format)

Steve sighed as he opened his laptop, clicking on the ‘Youtube’ icon and pulling up his channel. He likes his job, really he does. But so many people do the same thing that he’s honestly running out of ideas. Luckily, his subscribers seem to enjoy the weird ass shit he’s been putting out lately. In the last one, he’d made a bed out of cheese for his cat, the only issue was, was that she wanted to eat it, and if you don’t know, cat’s are lactose intolerant, so what started as a stupid video turned into him vlogging how to clean cat diarrhea of a carpet.

His subscribers thought it was hilarious, paying no mind to his discomfort, moreso worrying about piggy, his cat, and how her tummy was doing. She’s fine. Just a little dramatic. So with a lack of ideas, he goes lives. “Hey. How’s it going, chat? Look, I really need some new ideas because honestly, I’m bombing here.” And like always the chat blew up with responses, ‘call robin!’ and Steve snorted, “call Robin? Fine?” He picked up his phone, tapping Robin’s contact and waiting for it to ring.

“What?”

“That’s real nice, Rob. What a way to answer your best friend.”

“You aren’t my best friend, Nancy is.”

Steve scoffs, “Whatever, say hi to chat!”

“Seriously? This is the content y’all like? God, give him good ones, like getting a life.”

“I have a life, okay? Just because I don’t-”

“Your life consists of bugging me and Nancy, now get off live and think of some real idea’s, Steve!” Her tone was accusatory and Steve didn’t have a chance to answer before she hung up on him. He sighed, looking into the webcam, “Well. You heard her. I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye chat!” He ended the live and shut his laptop with a huff. He pondered for a moment, before deciding to scroll, what better way to come up with ideas than to scan and see what’s trending, right? 

He knows it’s a lazy tactic but, hey. He’s been doing this for years, there’s only so many ideas a brain could hatch. Maybe he could play a new game? Nah, he’s played all the good ones. Maybe he could play a really bad one just for giggles, maybe that’d be fun? It’s not fair! Robin and Nancy use their lives as content! Steve’s life was boring! Maybe it was worth a try, and so, a dumb little morning vlog was in the works.  

-

And okay, so it turns out maybe his subscribers are somewhat interested in his life. How was he supposed to know? He wakes up, answers emails, makes breakfast, works out, and that’s it! It wasn’t anything special. He felt… Boring. 

And yeah, the video did well but he still felt like he fell flat. He was supposed to be funny! So in his fit of doubt, he decides to scroll a little bit. (A bit of mindless scrolling didn't hurt anyone, right?) Wrong, Steve. It hurt a lot of people. But either way, in his attempt to bury his feelings he came across a video titled “Freak Rage Quits and Then Cries,” and Steve was a little apprehensive. He doesn’t really do the bullying, mean girl content, well, at least not like he used to. (He was a different person then). But he clicked on it anyways, and holy shit. He was funny. And really hot. 

And soon enough, Steve fell down a rabbit hole. He couldn’t get enough of this guy, he was cute, and charming, and somehow chaotic in a way that made Steve weak in the knees. (And look, the liking guys thing was relatively new, but the whole ‘attracted to chaos thing’ came out of left field). Well, if he’s being honest, it really didn’t. When he thought he had a crush on Robin it was her chaotic energy that really got to him, which was surprising seeing as his ex before her was very much the opposite. But as it turns out, chaos is like this guys whole brand. Eddie. That’s his name by the way, goes by corrodededdie on twitch, which honestly, fit him perfectly, 

Steve didn’t get the guys subscribing count at first, over 1.5 million (which is almost as many as Steve), but he gets it now. He doesn’t understand how someone could make him fall in love, over video. It was a bit ridiculous, really. Luckily for him, corrodededdie struck the inspiration bucket and Steve fell asleep with some new concepts floating around in his head. And yeah, maybe they were a bit more chaotic than what he usually did but… Oh well. Blame it on his new muse.

—

Eddie grinned as he waved goodbye to the stream, he’d just finished a 12 hour long long haul that he did on a dare because some troll in the chat said he wouldn’t be able to do it. And well, Eddie runs off spite, so of course he made sure to do it, and do it right. 

So here he was, 12 hours later, absolutely exhausted. He’d started the stream at a nice time of 6pm. That meant he’d have to stay streaming and making actual content, not just farting around on his phone, for 12 hours. It seemed easy enough. 

It wasn’t.

Right around the eight hour mark he started to get pretty restless. He’d already played all the games he had within his reach like, twice, and he was honestly really sick of talking about himself, so he made the courageous decision to ask the chat for suggestions on what he should do. (That was especially dangerous since at the time he was doing it, which was 2 am, was the time his especially creepy subscribers like to join and torment him by suggesting really gross stuff. And not like eating dog food gross). But luckily someone in the chat, named ‘dustybun04’ came through for him, suggesting a channel by the title of ‘Steve goes to Hell’ and well. Needless to say, it wasn’t what Eddie was expecting with a name like that. 

It was mainly this guy doing different hair techniques and making weird shit for his cat. He has to be honest, ‘dustybun04’ really disappointed him. He was under the complete impression that this guy was going to be some metal badass that played COD and killed zombies. But… It wasn’t. “Oh come on, dustybun. This guy?” And the chat lit up.

Dustybun04: watch the one where he makes a chees bed for his cat it made me laugh so hard i threw up.

And that caught Eddie’s attention. So there he was, at 2 am, pseudo stalking this guys channel looking for a very specific video. And he makes sure he’s mic'd up so that the stream could catch his candid reaction. “Mr. Piggyyyy, look at what mommy made you,” and Eddie had to pause the video. The guy called himself ‘Mommy’? Oh god, who was this guy? He snorts, looking at the camera like he’s on ‘The Office’ before turning the video back on. And as much as he hates to admit it, he was crying with laughter by the end of the video. 

And so the 12 hour long stream turned into him doing a deepdive review on ‘Steve goes to Hell.’ And he wasn’t disappointed. He could tell that his viewers were ready to move on to something else, but Eddie couldn’t help it. He was just… Enamored with the guy. Eventually though, around the 11 hour mark, Steve ran out of content for Eddie to watch. So he reluctantly decided to bother his best, dear, friend, Nancy. She ran a channel with her girlfriend and they were so disgustingly cute that it almost made Eddie want to barf. He picked up his phone and dialed Nancy, waiting with a mischievous smile on his face. “Eddie? It’s… 5 am, why are you calling me?”

“Say hi to chat!” He cheered, far too loud and excited for the early hour.

“Ugh, Eddie. You’re the worst.”

“You love me, Wheeler.”

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Oh shit. Did he wake up Robin? “It’s just Eddie baby, go back to sleep. You woke up Robin you fucking asshole. I’m going to kill you the next time I see you.” Yep. 

She hung up on him with a huff, “Isn’t she a charmer, folks? Okay…. Let’s see.” Eddie muttered to himself, scrolling mindlessly, looking for something to get him through the last 30 minutes. “Okay… Thirty minute stretch guys. What should we do?” And then it happened. ‘Steve goes to Hell has uploaded a new video.’ “Awh, shit guys. Steve goes to Hell has another video,” He dragged out the ‘o’ far too excited for a channel he just found of a guy he knows virtually nothing about. “Wake up with me? Ew. God, he’s so cheesy. Let’s watch” And it turns out it was actually pretty cute. 

And yup. There it is. Eddie has a new crush on a guy. A guy who happens to look super hot when he wakes up and by definition out of Eddie’s league. He sits and watches silently, enraptured with the way this guy lives his life, waking up so god damned early. As the video comes to an end, so does the 12 hour stream. “Well, shit guys. We did it. Actually, I did it. You guys did nothing. Anyways. It’s been fun. wheeliemike, suck my dick, and fuck you for saying I couldn’t do this. Alright. Thanks for chilling with me!” 

And that brings us up to speed. Eddie slumped back into his gaming chair, breathing out deeply. “Shit. I am never doing that again.” He slid out of his chair and trudged over to his bed, flopping down onto it and groaning loudly. He was just about to succumb to the sweet release of sleep when his phone chimed. ‘Steve goes to hell just subscribed to your channel.’ And oh fuck. Oh fuck, was he watching? Shit. Well. His heart was beating too fast to go to sleep now, may as well instagram stalk the guy. Like all normal people do when they develop a new crush.

[peterrefur]

Cracked teacup ⅏ Wilbur Soot x Reader

Summary: Y/N have eating disorder, and she try so hard to fight but not all days all good. Will see that and try help her every day. But one day she feels like she is a problem. That she is problem for Will and she try leave him but after really sad talk she understand that she is sick not broken. She is darling, not problem. Notes: Hey Mate!!! I’m Peter and I say right away that English is not my first language. I’m curious to hear your opinion about this work in the comments! Enjoy!

The story features: - Eating Disorders - Attempted self-harm

        𝕋he door swung open, a warm, yellow light spilled into the room, casting a cozy ambiance that seemed to beckon people inside. Will sat comfortably in front of his desk, engrossed in conversation, when Y/N entered the room. She leaned in, her gaze sweeping over the man's computer monitor, hoping to catch a glimpse of the software he used for his work, but all she could see was Discord. Will chuckled and leaned back, his eyes closing as his laughter subsided. He let out a quiet yawn, stretching his body, a testament to the disrupted sleep schedule that working on the internet and enduring quarantine had imposed on them. 

With his eyes still closed, Will continued to speak, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "But I'm absolutely certain that at the next MCC, we won't be teamed up together." Sensing Y/N's presence, he opened his eyes, noticing her standing there. "Y/N, is something wrong?" 

"Y/N? Who's that?" one of the people in Will's Discord call chimed in with curiosity. "Do you have a girlfriend? Or is it a boyfriend?" he added playfully after receiving no immediate response. 

"Tommy, let Wilbur answer. Mate, take your time," the oldest voice interjected, chuckling softly into the camera, while they observed Tommy crack open yet another can of Coke for the day. 

"Y/N, do you want to talk to us?" Will asked, motioning for her to come closer. Y/N settled on the floor, resting on her knees next to Will's chair. "Hey, sit on my lap or go grab a chair. You shouldn't be sitting on the floor. I honestly can't remember the last time we vacuumed in here," he remarked, swiveling his chair to face her. Prompted by his suggestion, Y/N rose from the floor and perched herself on his lap. She positioned one earphone in her ear and was immediately greeted by two energetic voices and one subdued ‘bruh’. 

"Y/N, are you Wilbur's girlfriend? I didn't know he had someone. He doesn't strike me as the boyfriend type," Tommy commented, taking a sip from his Coke. 

"You, Tommy, seem like you never leave your room," she teased the boy, causing him to choke on his drink. 

"WHAT! I don't leave my room! Look at this!" Tommy pushed his chair away from the desk, revealing his backpack adorned with symbols from The Legend of Zelda hanging on the door. He flung the door open abruptly and exited the room. Standing in the hallway, he shouted towards the microphone, "I'm leaving the room! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pee." He then made his way back to his computer, only to notice the muted microphone icon next to his webcam a moment later. 

"So, Will has a girlfriend. Pog!" exclaimed the sleepiest voice in the conversation, the only person with their camera turned off. 

"Seriously, I thought you were single, Will," remarked the blond man. 

"Y/N and I are together," Will responded, turning his gaze toward the woman on his lap. "Since September last year, right?" He gently stroked her back as he sought confirmation. 

"Yes, September," Y/N nodded, a warm smile directed at her boyfriend. 

"Indeed, it was September. Just a few days before the new semester started, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend," Will recounted, prompting the sleepy voice to chime in. 

"And what was her answer?" the voice queried. 

"Is that sarcasm, Techno?" Will asked, looking directly into the camera. 

"Me and sarcasm? Bruh, never," Techno replied, evoking a slight chuckle from Y/N. 

"I replied with a 'yes,' but with the condition that I could use his computer for my university work," Y/N interjected, glancing at one of her open notebooks on the desk. 

"And yes, She do use it, but I won't complain because she bought the RAM herself, so it's our computer," Will added, gesturing subtly. 

"But truth be told, I didn't come here to interfere with your--" Y/N began to speak, but was swiftly interrupted by Will. 

"You never interfere," he interjected, his words carrying a playful undertone. 

"Perhaps," Y/N responded, stealing a quick glance at the monitor. "Do you want coffee?" she inquired, rising from Will's lap. 

"Coffee no, but tea if I can." he replied, slipping the earphone back into place. 

"Green or black?" she queried, opening the door and awaiting his preference, receiving a nonchalant shrug in response. 

          𝕃eaning her hips against the kitchen island, Y/N's gaze lingered on the kettle, its slow boil promising a comforting cup of tea for both her and Will. As she waited, her thoughts wandered to the fact that Will hadn't revealed their relationship to his friends. They had made a mutual decision to keep their love private, well-aware of Will's growing popularity and the scrutiny that came with it. 

Being an online example of the "perfect boyfriend," they both wanted to shield their relationship from potentially uncomfortable comments or unsolicited opinions. Y/N understood the need for privacy but couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't mentioned her to his friends yet. 

In the evenings, when she couldn't watch Will's streams directly, Y/N would often tune in on her phone, secretly observing him from the periphery of his online world. 

She would wear her headphones, discreetly completing chores around the house while listening to his voice and enjoying the sense of connection. Occasionally, she would even bring him a drink or a snack, making sure to stay out of the camera's frame. It was her way of showing support and being there for him, even if he was unaware of her presence. 

        𝕋urning her attention back to the task at hand, Y/N reached for the box of teas and selected two green tea bags. As she held them in her hand, a memory resurfaced—a previous evening when they had enjoyed the same tea after a delicious dinner. A smile tugged at her lips as she reminisced, "That dinner Will made for us on our last date was incredible... I regret eating so much... If I hadn't indulged, we might have had leftovers for the next day too..." 

Placing a tea bag into each mug, Y/N turned once again and cast her gaze upon the shelf above her. "That dinner tasted reminiscent of the one we had at a fancy restaurant for New Year's. It had a similar flavor..." She opened the cabinet, revealing her reflection in the glass. Her thoughts drifted, "Thank goodness I've stopped overeating... I've actually lost weight, quite a bit. But I still have these big thighs..." She reached for the honey, contemplating her body image as she prepared the teaspoons. 

Suddenly, the sound of the kettle clicking off jolted her from her reverie. She blinked, surprised by the abrupt interruption, and hurriedly prepared the cups of tea. Pouring the hot water over the tea bags, she couldn't help but wonder why Will hadn't acknowledged the changes she had gone through. 'Why hasn't he said anything yet?" she silently questioned herself, a hint of sadness creeping into her thoughts. "After all, the differences are noticeable. I've lost weight. I'm thinner..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "Maybe he has noticed but just didn't mention it? It's Will, he's not the best at expressing things like that..." 

Chuckling softly, she recalled the early stages of their relationship when Will struggled to reply to even the simplest text messages. Wiping away a stray tear, she decided to distract herself by delivering the freshly brewed teas to their shared space. She walked towards the bedroom door, opening it, and then retraced her steps back to the kitchen to retrieve the beverages. 

         "𝕐es! And then she looked at me with such a smile, you know, 'maybe we should go back now'. Oh! I'm just talking about our New Year's date," Will recounted with a wide grin, his voice filled with fondness, as Y/N entered the room. Seeing her, he quickly cleared some space on the desk to make room for the teas. Y/N couldn't help but admire his radiant smile and felt a surge of gratitude that this remarkable boy had chosen her. Being with someone like Will felt like a true blessing. 

"Thank you, darling. Another half hour, and then we can go to bed," Will said, his eyes fixed on Y/N as she returned with the honey. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and she accepted it with a smile. 

"Simp," teased Tommy's voice through the earphones, causing Will to turn towards the screen even though he couldn't see it. 

He knew immediately that Tommy was the one who had made the comment. 

Y/N interrupted the momentary silence, requesting to turn off the camera so she could change. Will nodded, and his webcam transformed into a rectangle with his icon at the center. 

"Thank you," she expressed, taking a small sip of her tea. She then walked over to the wardrobe to retrieve a t-shirt and shorts. Despite being in the middle of a call, Will's attention was captivated by Y/N. He smiled as he watched her begin to undress, and for a brief moment, their eyes locked. Will moved his mouse and glanced at her once more. 

"You look beautiful," he complimented, his smile revealing genuine admiration. 

However, his expression suddenly shifted from joy to a perplexed grimace that was difficult to interpret. "Can you turn around for me?" he asked, gesturing in a circular motion with his finger. Y/N's heart fluttered at the thought that Will had finally noticed her weight loss. There was a reason she had chosen to change in the bedroom instead of the bathroom tonight. 

        𝔸fter two spins, she faced her boyfriend, searching his eyes for signs of approval or perhaps even excitement. But Will's demeanor had changed. His grimace had transformed into a neutral face with a tinge of sadness in his eyes. 

"You're skinny," he commented, breaking the uneasy silence. 

"Have you noticed? Yes, I know my thighs are still large, but look at my belly and arms. See how I've lost weight," she responded excitedly, turning around again and pointing out the different areas of her body. Yet, her enthusiasm seemed to fall flat in the face of Will's subdued reaction. His neutral expression remained, and his gaze held a sense of concern. 

"Are you starving yourself?" Will asked directly, his question lacking any concern for its potential insensitivity. "What you're doing isn't healthy," he added, removing the earphone from his ear as if needing to detach himself from the conversation. 

Y/N felt a surge of mixed emotions. "But I don't feel bad. I mean, I could still lose more weight, but for now, it's okay. I'm not starving myself, but I am consciously limiting my food intake," she explained, hoping to convey her perspective. 

"So, you are starving yourself," he stated more confidently, rising from his chair. Y/N shook her head, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the discussion. Despite Will towering over her, she could feel his concerned gaze encompassing her. In a hurried attempt to shield herself, she swiftly put on her nightshirt. 

Will's expression didn't reflect anger or disappointment; instead, it bore a profound sadness that tugged at Y/N's heart. His gaze was heavy with worry, and she could sense that he genuinely cared for her well-being. 

"You hear yourself?" Standing up from his chair, Will's confidence grew as he confronted the situation head-on.  

        𝕎ill's concern for Y/N's well-being grew more pronounced as he continued to question her about her eating habits. He mentioned her previous episode of fainting, which she attributed to a lack of fresh air. However, as he probed further, asking about the last time she ate, Y/N's uncertainty became evident. 

Y/N paused, her mind searching for an answer. "Yesterday... or before yesterday, I'm not sure," she finally responded, her voice betraying her uncertainty. She quickly added, "But it feels good. And I'm not starving myself, but I am limiting my food." 

Will's confidence grew as he confronted the reality of the situation. he looked at her with a mix of concern and determination. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, Y/N shook her head, feeling a wave of emotions crashing over her. 

Will's expression, however, didn't display anger or disappointment as she had anticipated. Instead, his gaze held an unmistakable sadness. It was clear that his emotions were deeply rooted in his genuine care for her. 

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she reached out, her vulnerability laid bare. "Will, I didn't realize... I didn't realize you felt this way. I thought... I thought you would be happy for me," she managed to say, her voice quivering with raw honesty. 

        𝕋he room was dimly lit, casting a somber atmosphere upon the scene. He entered slowly, his footsteps barely audible against the creaking wooden floor. With a heavy sigh, he settled himself on the edge of the bed, facing her. The dynamics had shifted, as she now stood taller than him, both physically and metaphorically. 

"What you're doing isn't healthy," he spoke softly, concern etched in every word. She met his gaze momentarily before averting her eyes, unable to hold his penetrating stare. 

"How long?" he continued, his voice filled with a mix of worry and curiosity. "How long... have you been limiting your food?" His eyes never left her, searching for answers hidden within the depths of her soul. She glanced at him fleetingly, her gaze shifting away once more, as if trying to escape the weight of the conversation. 

"I started back before the pandemic started," she murmured almost inaudibly, her words carrying the weight of a confession. He couldn't bear to see her struggle alone, and in an instant, he pulled her closer, holding her waist firmly as she stood between his legs. Pressing his face against her stomach, he whispered words of concern and love. 

"Do you really feel okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with urgency. "I'm not asking if you feel good about what you're doing. I'm asking if you feel good about this body you have now." His forehead rested against her belly, shielded by the fabric of her t-shirt. Her trembling hands found solace in his brown hair, hidden beneath a cozy beanie. Though she couldn't see his face, she knew his eyes were fixed on the floor, wide with a mixture of sadness and desperation. She bit her lower lip, her gaze lingering on the top of his head. 

"Do I feel good?" she pondered silently, a torrent of conflicting thoughts flooding her mind. "No, I could be thinner... No... That's not true... I don't want to be thinner. I want to be slim. But I didn't want to see my ribs," she confessed inwardly, her hands tracing the contours of her torso, skimming beneath her breasts. "I didn't want to feel my ribs. That wasn't my goal." 

        ℍer legs gave way, collapsing under the weight of her emotions. She curled into herself, folding her body and clutching her knees to her chin, seeking comfort and protection. In that vulnerable moment, she uttered a feeble, 'no.’ Will's hand found its way to her head, his touch offering solace and reassurance. Her voice grew stronger as she repeated her denial, leaning into his leg for support. 

"I don't want to force you to do anything," he spoke gently, his voice laden with empathy. "But I will try to help you, okay? Baby, look at me." Tenderly, he lifted her chin, revealing her tear-streaked face. 

Will's own eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the pain he saw in hers. "I love you, and I will help you, but you have to want my help too," he implored, his voice trembling with emotion. Another tear escaped her eye, joining the stream down her flushed cheeks. With a slight nod, she rose from her hunched position, seeking solace in his warm embrace. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice laced with regret and vulnerability. 

ꝋ 

        Y/N's senses were awakened as the aroma of the simmering soup wafted through the air, drawing her closer to the pot. "It smells beautiful," she commented, her voice filled with a hint of anticipation. "And it probably tastes just as good." Her words lingered for a moment before she reached for a wooden spoon from the nearby counter, gently stirring the contents of the soup. 

"Yes, tomato soup. Probably one of the easier soups that will always smell good," Will remarked, emerging from the bedroom. "Once the pasta is done, we can eat." As those words left his lips, a slight faltering of her smile betrayed an inner struggle. However, she joined Will on the couch, both of them engrossed in their phones, immersed in a shared silence. 

"Look at this!" Will's voice broke the tranquility, snapping Y/N out of her trance. She locked her phone and shifted her attention to her boyfriend's screen. "How cute," he commented, awaiting her reaction. 

The image displayed a red cereal box, with the white head of an incredibly fluffy cat poking out, its large, endearing eyes capturing their attention. "Imagine. You open the cereal and... Boom! there is a cat. Do you complain or keep the cat to yourself?" he pondered, placing the phone on the coffee table. 

"Complain, but keep the cat to myself," she responded, setting her phone down alongside his. Will erupted in laughter at her answer, rising from the couch. 

"I'd love to have a cat, but I know I'm not responsible enough," he confessed as he made his way toward the kitchen. 

Y/N observed his back as he deftly handled the pot, shaking his head in slight dismay. He moved towards the sink, preparing a strainer before returning to drain the cooked noodles. With deliberate care, he placed the strainer on top of the pot, allowing the residual water to drip away. Retrieving two bowls from a high shelf, he poured the noodles evenly into each, then walked over to the table, ensuring the pot rested on a placemat to protect the surface. 

He glanced back at Y/N, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Would you bring the bowls and ladle?" he asked, pulling out a chair. Y/N nodded, rising from the couch, but her sudden movement caused her to stumble slightly, catching her balance just in time. 

"Are you okay?" Will's concern was evident as he prepared to rush to her side, ready to offer support in case she felt faint. 

"Yeah, I just got up too fast," she reassured, her step now more confident as she made her way into the kitchen. Will leaned against the dining table, his gaze fixed on Y/N as she approached, clad in one of his cozy jumpers. She placed both bowls on the table and settled herself in one of the chairs. 

Will, still standing, poured himself a serving of soup, flashing her a gentle smile before pouring a slightly smaller portion for her. With a swift turn, he carried the pot away. 

Y/N's eyes remained fixed on the soup before her, watching as the light pasta gradually sank into the vibrant red liquid. She observed a few scattered spices floating in her bowl, seemingly captivated by the swirling mixture. 

        𝕋he soup became her entire world in that moment, its presence overwhelming her senses. She felt her hands grow clammy, the room seemingly growing hotter. Perhaps it was the heat emanating from the oven, or maybe it was her own heightened stress. A dryness crept into her throat, urging her to eat, yet her trembling hands could not grasp the spoon. Opening her mouth felt impossible, and despite the enticing aroma, tears welled up in her eyes.   

"Hey! I've been asking for probably two minutes if you want cream in your soup," Will interjected, crouching down and discreetly gripping Y/N's thigh beneath the table. His concerned gaze met her flushed face. She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the soup's captivating presence. "Everything okay?" he inquired; his voice filled with genuine worry. Once again, she nodded, her focus unbroken. "Do you want sour cream?" he asked, raising an eyebrow slightly above his glasses. 

Another nod confirmed her desire. 

Will straightened himself, taking her spoon and squinting at the box of cream. After a brief contemplation, he dipped half of the spoon into the container, carefully placing it in the soup and giving it a light stir. The cream detached from the cutlery, floating to the surface amidst the sea of noodles. A delicate dance of red stains adorned its creamy surface. Will took his seat across from Y/N. 

"Enjoy," he said, taking the first spoonful of soup. "As always, no particular taste," he jested, attempting to lighten the atmosphere before proceeding to eat in a more conventional manner. 

Time passed in measured bites and sips, their silence punctuated only by the comforting sounds of spoons clinking against bowls. Will's presence beside her served as a reminder of the unwavering support he offered, his presence offering a quiet reassurance amidst her inner turmoil. 

        𝕋he atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted, the once pleasant ambiance now invaded by a cacophony of intrusive thoughts and harsh voices that reverberated through Y/N's mind. The relentless chorus of self-criticism and fear echoed loudly, drowning out any semblance of peace or enjoyment. The voices seemed to merge into a distorted symphony, each one demanding, pleading, and accusing in equal measure. It was a relentless battle within her own head, a war waged between her desires and the suffocating grip of her inner demons. 

'Eat!' 'He made it for you!' 'Why aren't you eating? Don't you like his cooking?' 'Eat!' 'He spent two hours on it!' 'Why aren't you eating! You're hungry!' 'Move that hand!' 'Take a spoon and eat!' 'At least get your hands out from under the table and put them on the counter!' 'Eat!' 'What's wrong with you!' 'Yes, don't eat starve yourself to death!' 'Just because you don't eat won't make you skinnier!' 'Will won't love you if you don't eat it!' 'He'll leave you if you don't eat this soup!' 'Eat this soup!' 

'EAT THE SOUP!'  

        "𝕀 can't, I’m sorry," Y/N finally managed to utter, her voice tremulous and fragile. She instinctively moved away from the table, unintentionally bumping into Will, who had been silently observing her, his touch offering a silent source of comfort. He winced in pain but refused to release his hold on her, his arms enveloping her in a protective embrace. Sensing her distress, he nestled his face in her hair, a gentle gesture of understanding and reassurance. 

"I'm sorry."   

"Shhh... It's okay," he whispered softly, his cheek resting on the crown of her head. With tender movements, he caressed her shoulder and the back of her head, seeking to provide solace in the face. "Eat at least one spoon, please. If you want, you can run to the sink and spit it out. Please try," he pleaded, his voice barely audible, as if imparting a secret shared between them alone. Y/N reluctantly turned her gaze back to the bowl before her. 

'I can escape. But I have to try it first.' she thought, her hand trembling as she cautiously lifted a spoonful of soup. Will watched her movements attentively, his face still buried in her hair, his touch a constant reminder of his unwavering support. As she leaned forward to bring the spoon to her lips, she felt Will subtly shift, hiding his face completely in her hair while continuing to stroke her locks. Tears clouded her vision, the vibrant colors of the soup melding with her emotions. A few strands of pasta seemed to blend seamlessly with her blurred surroundings. 

She opened her mouth, closed her eyes, and before her taste buds could register the flavor, she swallowed, her eyes clenching shut even tighter as she stifled a sniffle. 

Returned the spoon to the bowl, her hand instinctively moving to cover her mouth. 'Really good soup.' she thought, sensing the faint taste that lingered. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but with Will's comforting touch still resonating, she reached for another spoonful, her movements slightly more determined this time. 

        𝕆nce again, she brought the spoon to her lips, her mouth poised to swallow the contents. Yet, in a sudden surge of awareness, she snapped her eyes open, tearing herself away from Will's embrace and rushing to the kitchen sink, forcefully expelling the food from her mouth. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeated, her words punctuated by a slow, faltering retreat to the floor behind the kitchen island. 

Will glanced at the spilled soup on the table, the chair, and the growing soup pool on the floor. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he approached Y/N with measured steps. Crouching beside her, he eventually settled into a seated position, gently pulling her body closer to his, enveloping her trembling form in a tender embrace. 

"It's okay. You've tried, and that's what matters. You didn't run away. You gave it a chance, and I'm proud of you. Truly, I am," he murmured, his voice a soothing balm amidst the chaos. 

Will buried his face in her hair once more, his gaze fixated on the expanding stain on the floor. 

"I love you, no matter what. I'm proud of you," he reiterated, his eyes closing as he focused on the warmth and love that radiated from the woman in his arms. 

ꝋ 

        Y/N sat on the plush couch, contemplating the enticing idea of ordering a pizza. It had been quite some time since she had indulged in this guilty pleasure. As she embarked on her journey to embrace a healthier lifestyle, pizza had become a distant memory, a forbidden delight. But tonight, a spark of rebellion ignited within her. She yearned to break free from the shackles of her strict diet and indulge in the sheer joy of devouring a slice of cheesy, saucy goodness. 

With a mischievous grin, Y/N grabbed her phone and tapped open the pizza delivery web. The tantalizing aroma of freshly baked dough, zesty tomato sauce, and a medley of delectable toppings began to fill the air, even if just in her imagination. The mere thought of sinking her teeth into a warm, gooey slice of pizza sent waves of anticipation coursing through her veins. 

As she scrolled through the myriad of options on the app, her mouth watered at the sight of the different crust styles, from thin and crispy to thick and doughy. The toppings seemed to jump off the screen, tempting her taste buds with their vibrant colors and enticing flavors. Pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers, and the ever-popular extra cheese—it was a paradise of pizza possibilities. 

But as excitement coursed through her, a subtle voice of doubt crept into her mind. 'Should I really do this? Will it undo all the progress I've made? Can I truly allow myself this indulgence?’ Her conscience waged a silent battle against her desires, tugging her back towards the path of discipline and control. 

Denying herself the simple pleasure of a pizza would only fuel her cravings and dampen her spirits. It was time to embrace the joy that food could bring, to revel in the sensory experience of savoring every bite without guilt or regret. 

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she read the series of messages from Will. A mixture of relief, worry, and anticipation swirled within her. The initial fear of abandonment slowly faded, replaced by a sense of understanding and empathy. She realized that unforeseen circumstances had delayed his return, and her mind's worst-case scenarios had been nothing more than needless worries. 

'I'm going to be late Uber cancelled my ride. You can go to bed.'  send 23:22 

A smile played on her lips as she absorbed the reassurances in Will's messages. The warmth of their shared moments, captured in the wallpaper image, resonated within her. It was a reminder of the love they had built together and the strength of their connection. She felt a surge of gratitude for their relationship and the unwavering support they offered each other. 

'I'll probably walk back.'  send 23:30 

With a renewed sense of calm, Y/N placed her phone back on the kitchen counter and returned to the cozy embrace of the couch. The aroma of the freshly baked pizza still filled the air, providing a comforting backdrop to her thoughts. She knew that soon, Will would walk through the door, bringing with him the familiar presence that brought her solace and joy. 

'I'm next to Sussex Square, I'll be in a few minutes.' send 00:13 

As she patiently waited, the minutes ticked by. Each passing second seemed to draw them closer together, erasing any lingering doubts or insecurities. The anticipation of being reunited, of feeling his warm embrace, and of sharing the simple pleasure of pizza together, filled her with a deep sense of contentment. 

                'I won't go to sleep until you're next to me in bed'                                                                                  send 00:23 

        𝕋he minutes ticked by, she found herself drawn back to her phone, eager to read the last message she had received. Ten minutes had passed, and curiosity tingled in her fingertips as she reached out to grasp the device. With bated breath, she unfolded the message and absorbed its contents, her eyes scanning the screen with intent. Satisfied, she enabled the notification sound, placing the phone gently on the table before retreating back to the comfort of her couch. 

Sitting there, her gaze wandered to the pizza box perched on the coffee table. Its tantalizing aroma permeated the room, tickling her senses and beckoning her closer. It had been ages since she had felt such a pang of hunger. An internal debate ensued as conflicting thoughts danced in her mind. 

The chorus of self-doubt echoed within her: 'You'll gain weight.' 'If you eat pizza, Will may not return home.' 'If you give in and savor that cheesy delight, Will might turn his back on you.' Overwhelmed by uncertainty, she curled her legs and nestled into the couch, surrendering to its warmth, lulling her back into the realm of sleep. 

Suddenly, a voice shattered her reverie. 

"I'm back!" the familiar sound reverberated through the room, the volume heightened with excitement yet devoid of a scream. Y/N swiftly straightened up, her gaze fixated on the figure that had just entered through the front door. 

Will, with his shoes and jacket still on, approached her with purpose. As he neared, his hand reached out, gently cupping her cheek, the tenderness of his touch causing her to lean into it instinctively. 

Their eyes locked, and a surge of affection surged between them. In an act of love and longing, their lips met in a soft, lingering kiss. The sweet taste of their connection mingled with the air, creating an atmosphere of shared adoration. As they pulled apart, Will's voice broke the silence, his senses now attuned to a familiar scent. 

"Do I smell pizza?" he queried, his curiosity piqued. Y/N couldn't help but smile, her heart swelling with warmth. 

"Yes," she replied, her voice filled with both satisfaction and anticipation. "I ordered it to be perfect at midnight and it was, it can be a little now..." Before she could finish her thought, Will interjected, a hint of hunger and vulnerability evident in his words. 

"I'm sick to my stomach. I haven't eaten since I left. Well, except for a few fries. But all we did was drink," he confessed, a touch of remorse coloring his tone. Without hesitation, he lifted the lid of the pizza box, revealing a mouthwatering ensemble of pepperoni slices. A mixture of surprise and delight danced across his face. "Pepperoni! What a smart woman you are," he praised, his eyes meeting hers. 

        𝕊eating himself at the table, Will beckoned Y/N to join him. With a wistful expression, she approached, her hunger momentarily overshadowed by a tangle of emotions. 

"I'm not hungry," she admitted softly, her voice laced with a hint of apprehension. 

Undeterred, Will reached out with his foot, nudging her chair gently. "Come on," he urged, his eyes brimming with affection. "This will be our little date." His words carried a subtle plea, a desire to reconnect, to bridge the distance that had lingered between them. 

Her reservations slowly melting away, Y/N yielded to his persistence and eased herself into the chair. She looked into Will's eyes, searching for answers, for reassurance. 

A myriad of emotions swirled within Y/N as Will once again urged her to heed the desires of her stomach. The rumbling of her body, a sound that had slipped past her awareness initially, resonated once more, reminding her of its longing. 

"Your stomach says differently," he playfully remarked, an undertone of mischief lacing his voice. "You want to. I mean..." With a brief scratch of his neck, he sauntered over to the fridge, retrieving two bottles of water. With a heartfelt conviction, Will offered a gentle solution to Y/N's hunger. He settled himself in the chair next to her, his eyes fixed on her intently. As he flipped the pizza box, their eyes met, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

"I can feed you," he offered, a tenderness resonating in his voice. Y/N gazed back at him, her words momentarily halted as he placed a finger against her lips, his touch igniting a delicate spark within her. 

        Y/N found herself captivated by his presence, her gaze drawn to his every movement. In one smooth motion, his hand cupped her chin, his thumb lightly grazing her lower lip. Their connection was electric, tangible in the air as he leaned in, their lips finding each other once more. Soft murmurs escaped his lips, filled with adoration. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, their shared breath dancing between them. "But we will save these caresses for the bedroom after we eat." As he pulled away, confusion flickered in her eyes, her mind grappling with the sudden shift in the conversation. 

Taking a deep breath, Y/N mustered the courage to express her thoughts. "Will, I..." Before she could continue, his finger pressed gently against her lips, effectively silencing her. His touch sent shivers down her spine as he watched her reaction, his head resting against his palm. 

Words of love spilled from his lips, their sincerity unmistakable. With a tender caress, he brought their lips together once more, a promise of the passion that awaited them. 

Yet, as he pulled away, his eyes met her confused gaze, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. Two slice of pizza remained, an oversight that had gone unnoticed until now. Y/N held the slice in her hand, her eyes shifting to Will, who raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. 

"Are you drunk?" she asked, her gaze averted from the tempting food before her. 

        𝔸 knowing smile tugged at Will's lips, amusement dancing in his eyes. "A little, perhaps, but I'm not so drunk that I don't understand what's happening," he assured her, his fingers reaching for another piece of pizza. "If you threw the ball at me, I think I would catch it without a problem." His playful remark elicited a laugh from Y/N, a shared moment of levity amidst their complexities. 

"You think?" she quipped, her tone teasing yet filled with curiosity. Will's laughter resonated through the room, harmonizing with the joy that swelled within him. However, his amusement waned as he observed Y/N chewing thoughtfully, savoring the flavors of the food. He remained captivated by her actions, his mind consumed by the simple act of her eating. 

'She's doing it. She's eating! She! EAT!' Will's thoughts reverberated with an unexpected intensity, his focus laser-sharp despite the effects of alcohol. Every movement she made held his attention, fueling his quiet laughter. The realization that she was taking pleasure in the food before her brought him an immeasurable sense of delight. 

With a lighthearted chuckle, Y/N attempted to bite off a string of stringy pizza cheese, her laughter ringing through the air. The sound lifted the room, a symphony of joy that transcended any lingering doubts or fears. In that moment, they were simply two individuals, reveling in the simple pleasure of shared laughter and a meal enjoyed together. 

Amidst the infectious atmosphere, Will found himself compelled to express his emotions. Putting the edge of the pizza back into the box, he turned his attention to Y/N, their eyes locking once again. 

"I love you, you know?" he confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability. Yet, as he awaited her response, her eyes conveyed more puzzlement than a resounding affirmation of love. 

ꝋ

        Y/N's attention briefly shifted to the surroundings of their flat. Mirrors were scarce, only finding their existence in a few select areas—a bathroom mirror, a cabinet mirror in the hallway, and perhaps a couple of small mirrors in eye shadow sets. The absence of mirrors in their living space added a certain mystique, as if it were a deliberate choice to escape the constant reflection and self-scrutiny that mirrors often invited. 

However, there was one particular incident involving a mirror that Y/N couldn't forget, one that added a touch of ambiguity to the atmosphere. It happened on a day like any other when she returned from a shopping excursion, masked and laden with bags. As she closed the front door behind her, a jarring sound sliced through the air—a sharp crack of shattering glass. Momentarily taken aback, she tried to piece together what had just occurred. 

With a sense of urgency, she hurried into the bedroom, her eyes widening in disbelief at the scene before her. Will stood there, a hammer in hand, nails gripped between his lips, and shards of broken glass scattered across the floor. 

"It was an accident. I'm alright," he assured her, his voice laced with sincerity. "I was trying to hang a map." 

Y/N's gaze shifted between the shattered mirror and the spot on the wall where a map once hung, a sense of skepticism creeping into her thoughts. The distance between the wardrobe door, where the mirror had been, and the wall seemed far greater than what was necessary for hanging a map. Even if Will were visually impaired, the disparity was significant enough that he wouldn't have accidentally struck the mirror. Doubt began to nibble at her mind, casting a shadow over his explanation. 

Moreover, Y/N couldn't shake off the fact that breaking a mirror required a significant amount of force. It wasn't a mere tap or accidental bump that would cause such destruction. She had witnessed enough mirror mishaps in the past to know that intentional or not, the act of shattering glass demanded a deliberate, powerful impact. The pieces of the puzzle didn't quite fit together, leaving her questioning the true nature of that event and the intentions behind it. 

The unanswered questions swirled within her, a silent tension permeating the air between them. Yet, in that present moment, as Will professed his love, uncertainty mingled with her emotions. She looked at him, her eyes reflecting both her love for him and the underlying doubts that had taken root within her. 

It was a moment of internal conflict, the clash between the affection she held for Will and the nagging suspicion that something wasn't quite as it seemed. 

        𝕀n the intimate confines of her humble flat, devoid of a large mirror, she still sought solace in the reflective surface of her bathroom mirror. It was a quiet hour, displayed plainly on the screen of her phone - 02:34, a testament to her ongoing battle with insomnia. As she stared at the glowing digits, her voice filled the silence. "I really should fix my sleep schedule," she muttered to herself, feeling the weight of exhaustion and restlessness. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she decided to undress, shedding the stolen shirt she had been wearing, a subtle reminder of Will's presence in her life. In the privacy of her bathroom, she examined herself with a mix of curiosity and self-critique. Her gaze drifted downwards, drawn to her own breasts, once comfortably held by bras that now seemed two sizes too big in the wake of the pandemic's toll on her body. A shake of her head expressed her dissatisfaction as she delicately unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor with a soft rustle. 

Her hands found their way to the waistband of sweatpants, skillfully peeling them off in a single fluid motion, leaving her standing there in nothing but her panties and a pair of white socks. She studied her own figure, searching for signs of change and imperfection. 

Her fingers roamed over her stomach, grappling with a sense of disappointment. 

Her eyes then wandered to her thighs, which appeared disproportionately large to her, and further up to her breasts, which now appeared smaller and less appealing. Her arms appeared slender, almost too thin, and her shoulders elicited a touch of unease, their structure feeling too masculine for her idealized feminine image. 

        ℂompelled by an unyielding desire to scrutinize herself, she approached the mirror with measured steps, locking eyes with her own reflection. Her gaze was immediately drawn to perceived flaws, amplifying her self-criticism. She fixated on her eyebrows, deeming them less than perfect, and cast a critical eye towards the persistent bags beneath her weary eyes. Her attention shifted to her lips, her lower lip slightly more plump than she desired, while her upper lip seemed disappointingly thin. Her cheekbones, in her opinion, lacked the defined contours she longed for. Each flaw magnified in her perception, feeding her insecurities and deepening her self-doubt. 

Stepping away from the sink, she sought a fuller view of herself in the mirror, her reflection capturing her entire figure from head to knees. In that moment of self-judgment, she uttered the harsh words aloud, condemning herself.  

"You're disgusting," 

The words slipped from her lips, filled with a mixture of self-loathing and despair. 

In that fragile moment of vulnerability, her gaze inadvertently fell upon Will's razor, its presence within reach. A dark notion, like an intrusive whisper, insinuated itself into her consciousness. She possessed an intimate knowledge of its workings, having observed Will's grooming rituals firsthand. The location of his razor blades was etched in her memory, an awareness that beckoned her closer to the edge of her own despair. 

With a mixture of apprehension and determination, she approached the sink with a purposeful stride, the drawer containing the razor blades beckoning to her. As she slowly pulled it open, a pristine white and green box revealed itself, housing individually wrapped blades nestled in white paper. 

She counted them with a sense of foreboding, realizing that there were twenty-one, indicating that Will had recently opened a new box and inadvertently left behind the remnants of the previous one. A spark of justification flickered in her mind. 

"He wouldn't have noticed," she whispered, convincing herself that she could discreetly borrow one and replace it without detection. 

Her confidence emboldened, she reached into the box with a steady hand, her fingers grazing the packaging of a single razor blade. But as she glanced once again at her reflection, it felt as if an unknown presence within the mirror nodded in agreement, silently urging her forward. 

        ℍer decision solidified, and she withdrew a packet, swiftly closing the drawer to sever any lingering doubts. 

In her hand, she held the razor blade, its surface untouched and gleaming under the unforgiving bathroom lights. A profound question echoed in her mind, as she contemplated whether this razor blade encapsulated her entire world. 

A resolute nod, as if answering an unasked query, escaped her lips. Her conviction deepened, her fingers securing their grip on the blade, furrowing her brow as she realized the urgency of choosing a suitable location. 

Her thoughts raced, weighing the options. She couldn't bring herself to carve into her arm, not with the summer heat making concealment impossible. The visibility of her thighs, shoulders, and belly would surely raise alarms in Will's observant eyes. The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act. 

Her thoughts raced, weighing the options. She couldn't bring herself to carve into her arm, not with the summer heat making concealment impossible. The visibility of her thighs, shoulders, and belly would surely raise alarms in Will's observant eyes. 

The pressure to find an inconspicuous spot intensified, until a rash and violent impulse guided her hand. With an unsettling determination, she placed the razor blade against her own neck, poised on the precipice of an irreversible act. 

'What?'

'No.'   

'I' Don't want to.'   

"I don't want to!"  

        𝕀n an act of defiance, her voice rose, shattering the suffocating silence that enveloped the room. 

"No!" she exclaimed, her words filled with a mix of determination and desperation. The razor blade slipped from her grasp, crashing onto the hard floor with a resounding thud that seemed to reverberate through her entire being. 

A surge of adrenaline coursed through her veins as she swiftly covered the fallen object with her foot, as if seeking to stifle its presence, to drown out the clamor that threatened to consume her. 

Her gaze locked with the glinting metal, the razor blade's surface seemingly alive, fixated on her like a formidable opponent in the midst of an unspoken battle. They engaged in a silent dialogue, their connection charged with an inexplicable weight, as if this encounter held the weight of the world. 

A humorless laugh escaped her lips, tinged with a bitter irony. "He he..." she chuckled, the sound choked and strained. "Since I can't cut myself because Will would notice.... In that case, I don't want it. I don't know how to do it." she admitted, her voice laced with a mixture of relief and uncertainty. 

Lowering herself to the floor, she huddled into herself, her knees drawn up, her gaze still fixated on the razor blade. Visions flashed through her mind, dark and haunting, as she imagined running the sharp tool across her body. In each scenario, Will's piercing gaze intercepted her actions, unleashing a torrent of anger and anguish. Yet, despite the vividness of these mental images, she found a glimmer of self-preservation, a thread of resistance that refused to be severed. 

With a gentle touch, she retrieved the razor blade, her fingers lingering upon its sleek surface. 

        𝕎hy did the blade appear to bear a twisted smile, a sinister allure? 

It was an unsettling sight, a reflection of the dangerous path she had narrowly averted. Closing her eyes, she summoned her remaining strength, releasing the blade from her grip. It cascaded into the waiting embrace of the toilet bowl, accompanied by the sound of breaking water, sinking slowly to the bottom. The pristine white water, once a symbol of purity, now mirrored the discord within her soul. A conflicting mix of relief and regret washed over her, as the swirl of emotions settled. 

As she pressed the flush, watching the spiraling water carry the once-menacing metal away, a sense of calm seeped into her bones. It was as if the act of release, of letting go, brought her closer to a fragile peace. Nodding to herself, she returned to the sink, her eyes landing on the discarded clothes that served as a reminder of the dark moments she had just transcended. A soft chuckle escaped her lips, filled with a newfound lightness. 

"It's time for a change," she whispered, tossing the garments into the waiting basket of dirty laundry. 

        𝕆nce again, she confronted her reflection in the mirror, her eyes red and swollen from the torrents of tears that had washed over her. An unspoken question lingered in the air, as she gazed at her own disheveled appearance. "Why are we crying? Why?" she uttered softly, her voice tinged with a fragile vulnerability. 

Seeking solace, she found herself crouching once more, her hands clutching the edges of the sink for support. 

"Everything is okay. Yes, that's all," she murmured, attempting to reassure her weary heart, to convince herself that she had made the right choice. 

After a prolonged moment of introspection, she straightened her posture, deftly slipping her phone into the pocket of her pajama shorts. Casting one last glance at the mirror, she took in her disheveled hair, her eyes hollowed out by grief, and the trails of tears etched upon her cheeks. 

"You're the problem," she whispered, the words a firm declaration, directed not at her own reflection, but at the inner demons that had sought to ensnare her. 

ꝋ

 

        𝔻espite waking up feeling low, Y/N's eyes fluttered open as she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead. The sight that greeted her was Will, his morning hair in disarray, his rosy cheeks accentuating his slightly sleepy eyes. 

"Good morning, love." he greeted her, his lips curving into a warm smile. Their eyes met, and both of them felt a tender connection in that simple exchange. "I made us breakfast," he added, straightening up to take a seat. Y/N propped herself up on her forearms, the covers already pushed aside, and Will's cool touch adjusting her rolled-up t-shirt. 

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, allowing him to guide her to the dining room table. Will pulled her chair back and gestured for her to sit. 

"Yes, quite well, actually. I think I fell asleep right after we finished." he replied with light laught, making his way to the kitchen counter. "I made scrambled eggs for us." He handed plates and cutlery to the table, and Y/N couldn't help but express her surprise. 

"Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed, her voice laced with genuine appreciation. Will's thoughtful gestures never failed to warm her heart. 

"Would you like tea or strong coffee?" he inquired, his gaze fixed on her silhouette as she stared at the plate with a hint of suspicion. "Y/N!" he called out, breaking her trance. 

"Sorry, I was just lost in thought," she replied, flashing a smile in Will's direction. Instantly, his smile mirrored hers, the connection between them growing stronger. "What you say?" she tilted her head, curious. 

"Tea or coffee?" he repeated, pouring a cup for himself. With a nod of confirmation, he began preparing his own coffee. Retrieving his mug, he turned his attention back to Y/N. His gaze shifted to her body, and a peculiar request escaped his lips. "Can you take your shirt off?" 

        𝕊urprised, she looked at him, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Will crossed his arms over his chest, his expression turning more serious than thoughtful. Arching his eyebrows in anticipation, he waited for her response. 

"What?" she asked, clutching the edge of her shirt. "Why?" she asked, holding the edge of his shirt. 

"Just want to see you," he answered, disregarding the coffee machine's signal that the coffee was ready. 

"But you saw me last night," she pointed out, her hands clasped together tightly. 

"Okay," she relented, seeing Will turn his back to retrieve his mug and carry both cups to the table. 

"Thank you," she whispered as she watched him return to the kitchen. Y/N observed as he picked up a pan and simmered, carefully placing eggs onto it. His gaze lingered on the empty pan, contemplating something. 'How do I ask...?' he wondered silently. Shaking his head, he set the pan aside and walked back to the table, taking a seat and gripping his fork. 

"That's too much," she finally spoke, taking a deep breath and lifting his gaze to meet hers. Embarrassment and affection intermingled as he beheld her. 

Will took a deep breath, lifted his gaze. He looked at her embarrassed face 'Even when I'm angry I see beauty in her.' "I'll eat what you leave," he added, taking a sip of his tea. Y/N looked at him with a look as though he had just uttered the most heartfelt sentiment. 

"Thank you," she whispered, reaching for her fork and taking the first bite of scrambled eggs. Will observed her, his own portion forgotten momentarily, as she savored each morsel slowly. 

        𝕋his morning, the tall brunette ate an extra portion. Y/N watched as he finished her, placing his plate atop his own. In one swift motion, he consumed the last of his tea. 

"Can I ask you a question? Just a simple question, and I want a simple answer. Do we understand?" he asked, setting his cup down and gazing at Y/N with a serious expression. 

"Okay," she nodded, her heart pounding, saliva diminishing. 'Is he going to break up with me?' she worried. 

"What did you need a razor blade for?" he inquired; his tone laden with concern. 

"What?" she asked, taken aback by the unexpected question. 

"What the hell did you use a razor blade for?" he pressed, furrowing his brows, a touch of anger causing the nerve at the corner of his mouth to twitch and his left nostril to wrinkle. Retrieving a slightly bent white square from his pajama pocket, he exclaimed, "Bloody hell! Why did you need it? You didn't take it yesterday, and it's not the paper I left either!" He let out a breath, staring at the ceiling momentarily before composing himself. 

        𝕌nclenching his fists, he gently unfolded his hands, placing them on the table. "Sorry for raising my voice," he apologized, his gaze lifting as Y/N's muscles tensed, attempting to shrink away. 

"I... I..." she stammered, her voice barely audible amidst the silence of the room. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice. It's just... Y/N, why did you do it?" he asked, looking at her intently. 

"I didn't do anything," she replied, her voice barely a whisper, as if afraid of making any noise that might disturb the atmosphere. "What do you mean?" he inquired, extending his hand for her to grab. 

"I wanted to, but I gave up. I threw it in the toilet. You can check. I can undress. I didn't do anything. I really didn't. Seriously," she explained, reaching for his hand at the end of her statement, but he abruptly turned it over. Surprise flickered across her face. 

'He doesn't trust us.' 

ꝋ 

        "𝕐ou crossed me and that's what's going to happen to you dude." she could hear Will live in the other room. For the first time since she had supported Will in his passion, in his internet work - she has no desire to watch her boyfriend play. 

For the first time she didn't want to watch him.  

"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to ensure it wouldn't reach the other room. She entered the bathroom, avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed, preparing to step into the shower. With the water running, she crouched down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back. It felt as if the water had the power to heal her, as if each droplet could wash away her troubles. 

"Everything is okay!" she raised her voice just enough to not be heard in the other room though. 

Seeking solace, she entered the bathroom, deliberately avoiding her reflection in the mirror as she undressed and prepared to step into the shower. Turning on the water, she squatted down in the tub, positioning herself so that the water cascaded onto her back. 

With each droplet that touched her, she yearned for a healing sensation, hoping that the water running down her back would wash away her troubles. Leaning back and sitting down, she allowed the water to fully drench her hair. 

        𝕋houghts swirled through her mind as she looked up at the ceiling, watching the glass shower wall slowly become veiled by the warm steam. 'Will always look so tired?' she wondered, her heart heavy with concern. 'Why does he always seem so sad?' She tilted her head back even further, completely soaking her hair in the streaming water. 

As the steam filled the air, Y/N felt her forehead begin to sweat. Her breathing grew heavier, burdened by the weight of her thoughts. 'Why did I stop eating? Was it for myself or for him? Did I stop eating to seek Will's attention?' She shook her head, denying those possibilities. 'No... No... I wanted to lose weight, didn't I?' 

Her internal turmoil intensified as she contemplated her worthiness of Will's love and presence. 'Why is he still with me? He's only growing tired and burdened. He doesn't deserve to suffer because of my problems. He deserves someone better than me. I'm not worthy of him. He should be with someone who won't make him miserable, someone who can energize him from the beginning of each day. I'm nothing but a burden to him...' Tears streamed down her face, mingling with the flowing water. 

In her despair, she firmly believed that Will's sadness and exhaustion were a direct result of her presence in his life. She blamed herself for his fatigue, convinced that she was responsible for his lack of sleep and the absence of his daily smiles. She mourned the loss of his carefree laughter, which had once filled their apartment. Tears continued to mix with the water, symbolizing the anguish she felt within. 

 'I am the problem.'   

        𝔸s Y/N stood up, she adjusted the water to a gentle rain shower setting. The warm water continued to cascade down her body, soothing her muscles and providing a momentary respite. With deliberate movements, she massaged her hair, allowing the water to fully saturate it. Reaching for the bottle of soap, she proceeded to wash her body, her movements slow and melancholic. 

Her touch lingered on the parts of her body that elicited self-disgust, a sad smile playing on her lips. 

Rinsing off the soap, she reached for the 3-in-1 shampoo that she and Will had been using. Tilting her head back, she carefully avoided getting any soap in her eyes, watching as drops of water settled on the ceiling. Taking a step back, she immersed her entire body under the stream of water, allowing the lather to run down her back and cleanse her. 

The repetition of the motion brought a sense of ritual and momentary solace. Finally, she turned off the water, the sound of its flow abruptly ceasing. 

Moving to the end of the tub where the glass wall did not reach, she fixed her gaze on the wall, noticing the chipped blue-grey paint. A subtle smile graced her face as she stepped out of the tub, her feet making contact with the cold tiles. She reached for the towel she had left by the sink, wrapping it around herself. 

Walking towards the fogged-up mirror, Y/N remained naked as she wiped the condensation away with her hand. Despite her efforts, her reflection still appeared slightly blurred. Drawing closer, she locked eyes with herself in the mirror, seeking understanding and acceptance. 

"We are the problem."  

        𝔸s Y/N gazed at Will's peaceful sleeping form, she couldn't help but wonder about the dreams that occupied his slumber. Observing the subtle movements of his nose and the flickering of his closed eyelids, she pondered what scenarios played out in his subconscious mind. Carefully, she slid out of bed, mindful not to disturb the duvet and risk waking him. She changed into the clothes she had worn the day before and quietly crossed the bedroom. 

Opening the wardrobe with a gentle touch, she retrieved her suitcase, lifting it to minimize noise from the wheels. Carrying the suitcase, she tiptoed to the living room and placed it softly on the sofa. 

With a quick glance around the apartment, she moved towards the kitchen countertops. Retrieving her cup from the sink, she nestled it inside the travel bag, hidden from view. She then walked along the room's contours and selected one of the two fluffy blankets from a nearby basket. Returning to the suitcase, she carefully arranged the blanket over her belongings, creating a protective layer. 

Y/N reentered the bedroom and cautiously opened the first drawer, swiftly gathering her underwear. She swiftly returned to the living room, placing the gathered items alongside the others in the valise. Closing the drawer, she hesitated before the second one, aware that its noisy metal-on-metal sound might rouse Will from his sleep. 

She bit her lip, deciding against opening it, and instead reached into the last drawer, retrieving two dresses and adding them to the growing collection in the suitcase. 

        𝔾ently gripping the fabric in the bag, she covered her belongings and zipped up the zipper to secure them in place. As she glanced at the other side of the valise, her eyes caught sight of a jumper that she and Will had searched for long ago. It was a vibrant jumper with two mint-colored stripes in the middle. She held it in her hands, memories flooding back, before folding it and placing it back inside the suitcase. Finally, she sat down on the couch next to the packed valise, exhaling a heavy sigh. 

The weight of her emotions and the uncertainty of her actions weighed heavily upon her as she sat there, contemplating the path she was about to take. Y/N listened to the quiet voice in her mind, acknowledging its encouragement and support. Her hands trembled, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within her. 

"You're doing a good thing," she whispered, reinforcing her resolve. She glanced at the television, where her silhouette stood next to the suitcase in the dimly lit room. 

        𝕋he scene resembled a moment from a romantic movie, where the protagonist would seek solace with her best friend, crying and lamenting her ex's mistreatment. It was a portrayal of transformation, where the lead actress, initially perceived as unattractive, would eventually reveal her true beauty. 

But this wasn't a movie. 

Y/N had just endured one of the most challenging experiences of her life. Will would never be the villain, the ex-boyfriend to be forgotten and despised. She wouldn't seek comfort in her friend's embrace, belittling him and recounting tales of mistreatment. 

No, Will wasn't bad. He cared for Y/N and tried his best to make her happy. Yet, she knew deep down that she didn't deserve his efforts. She didn't want to burden him any longer. She felt like a leech, draining his happiness and strength. She longed for things to return to how they were before—the pre-pandemic, pre-quarantine era—before she became a problem. 

        𝕋ears welled up in her eyes as the weight of her decision bore down on her. In the script, she would leave now, seeking refuge with a college friend, her best friend, or her parents. But the current state of the world made escape seem impossible. Y/N didn't want to imply that living with Will had been terrible; in fact, they respected each other's space and knew when solitude was needed. 

Being in the same room, sharing silence, had been enough to bring them happiness. Sometimes one of them retreated to the bedroom while the other stayed in the living room, granting the necessary space. Y/N didn't want it to end, and she didn't want to run away from Will. She wanted to leave, to give him the chance to regain his happiness. 

The conflicting emotions tugged at her heart, torn between her desire to make Will happy and her reluctance to abandon their life together. It was a painful realization, but she believed it was the right decision. 

        Y/N gracefully rose from the plush couch, her senses heightened by a hint of nostalgia as she embarked on a journey through her memories. With purposeful steps, she made her way to the elegant cabinet that housed the television, its glossy exterior gleaming under the soft ambient lighting. The shelves within held an assortment of books, each one carrying its own story and allure. Some had been devoured by her voracious appetite for literature long ago, their worn spines bearing the marks of countless reads. Others remained untouched, their mysteries waiting patiently to be unraveled. And then there was one particular book, a cherished companion during the early days of her quarantine, its pages worn and dog-eared from repeated encounters. 

Carefully, she retrieved the books from their resting place, their weight feeling familiar in her hands. As she gingerly placed them in her suitcase, she made sure to leave ample space for the jumpers and shirts that awaited extraction from another drawer. A sigh escaped her lips, carrying with it a blend of weariness and anticipation, as she tenderly adjusted a strand of hair that had strayed from its intended position. 

Her delicate fingers graced her nose once more, a small gesture of reassurance, before she summoned the courage to press the handle of the bedroom door. 

As the door swung open, a soft glow of orange light spilled into the room, casting an ethereal aura upon Will's face. It was as though he had been plucked from the pages of a glossy magazine, the embodiment of timeless beauty and masculine allure. Retrieving her phone from the depths of her back pocket, she unlocked the device effortlessly, its familiar glow illuminating her face as she raised it to capture a moment frozen in time. 

Through the lens of her camera, she marveled at the captivating image before her - Will. She smiled thinking of how beautiful Will looked at times as he looked down at her with sweat and slightly wet hair, how he gently slumped against her breathing hard, how they had both been lying naked in bed just looking into each other's eyes for hours. She smiled thinking about how Will looked in straight hair, how much he had changed during the time they had both sat locked in the house for days. She watched him, he furrowed his brow as if he was talking to someone. 

Her gaze remained fixed on Will's slumbering form, observing his restless movements as he shifted onto his back. With a heavy sigh, Y/N moved towards the dresser that held the potential to turn a carefully crafted escape plan into a tempestuous argument. 

        ℍer delicate fingers lightly grasped the drawer, a mere touch setting the metal in motion, its faint creaking already audible in her ears. Each increment in volume served as a reminder for Y/N to proceed cautiously, to tighten her behavior as though walking on a tightrope of emotions. 

Her gaze fixated on the partially opened drawer, a gateway to reclaiming her belongings. It beckoned her, teasing her with the prospect of liberation. The internal debate raged within her, contemplating the possessions gifted to her by Will. 'Should I take the things he bought me’ she pondered, her pause punctuated by the slow extraction of shirts, one by one. Her eyes oscillated between the clothes she had acquired for herself and those that bore the imprint of Will's generosity. 

A moment of hesitation washed over her, prompting her to glance back at her partner. Will's peaceful countenance, oblivious to the turmoil that swirled within her, evoked a twinge of guilt. An innate desire to protect their tranquility whispered through her thoughts, urging her to reconsider her actions. 

It felt reminiscent of the rebellious spirit one might possess while running away from overbearing parents, swiftly extracting funds from their wallets to purchase a bus ticket to freedom. 

Y/N moved with caution, her actions imbued with a sense of both trepidation and determination. She meticulously selected the clothes that resonated with her, their allure and aesthetic appeal surpassing those left untouched atop the dresser. 

Turning her gaze towards the glass of a picture frame displaying an ancient world map, a fragment of her reflection danced upon its surface. The vibrant glow of the streetlights failed to reach her, leaving her face veiled in shadow while her cascading hair shimmered under the soft illumination. A subtle shake of her head symbolized a moment of introspection, a solemn acknowledgment of the path she had chosen. With deliberation, she gathered the shirts and sweatshirts within her hands, arranging them with tender precision inside her waiting suitcase. 

        𝔸s the weight of her actions settled upon her, a sudden interruption shattered the stillness. 

Y/N jumped, startled by the intrusive ring of Will's phone. Swiftly retreating into the safety of the bed, she found solace by his side, laying down upon the covers. The brunet, lost in the depths of slumber, mumbled incoherently, his subconscious reaching out in search of the elusive phone. 

"Hello?" Will grumbled, lifting the still ringing phone to his ear. Annoyance tinged his voice as he pushed the device away, his finger gliding across the screen to answer the call. "What do you want?" he asked curtly, more irritated at being forcefully awakened from his slumber than by the phone itself. Y/N lay on the bed, her eyes closed, feigning the act of just waking up. She artificially squinted as she opened her eyes, observing Will staring blankly at the ceiling with half-closed eyes. 

"I don't know. What time it is," Will groaned, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "No, I can't make it. It's Monday, and I have a class at thirteen. I just want to sleep," he retorted, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call. Y/N had a few seconds to catch a glimpse of Joe's name flashing on the screen before the interruption abruptly ceased. 

"Did I wake you up, love?" Will inquired, blocking the phone and placing it between their pillows. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Go back to sleep, dear. It's only five in the morning. We still have time." he reassured her, turning away and pulling the covers back. "Can you give me blanket, I'm cold," he requested, prompting Y/N to raise herself up on her forearms, allowing Will to arrange the additional layers of warmth. 

As she felt his muscular frame become distinguishable again, a sense of relief washed over her, soothing her restless mind. 

Y/N lay on her back, her gaze fixed upon the ceiling, her eyes wide with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. Her hands trembled slightly as she slowly maneuvered her legs to the edge of the bed, preparing to rise. Once seated, her gaze involuntarily shifted towards the partially open drawer. ‘If I close the drawer now.... Will will wake up; he's having a gentle sleep right now. I'm not one hundred percent sure he's asleep.’ she contemplated. Summoning her courage, Y/N stood up, reaching for the laptop resting alongside a keyboard and a few notebooks. ‘I'll come back for my college stuff,’ she silently promised herself, stepping towards the bedroom door and gently closing it behind her. 

"Y/N?" Will's voice jolted her from her thoughts, causing her to pull a face upon hearing his inquiry. She promptly reopened the door, meeting his inquisitive gaze. "Where are you going?" he questioned, turning around and straightening his drowsy body. "Are you dressed?" he mumbled, his sleepy mind struggling to focus on the situation at hand. 

        𝕋he gentle glow of the street lamp illuminated him even more beautifully than when he lay upon the bed, casting a soft, yellow halo upon the entire left side of his body. He instinctively narrowed his left eye in response to the lingering luminosity. 

"To the bathroom," Y/N responded, biting her lip nervously. Will sat up further, his sleepy demeanor giving way to a more alert posture. He shook his head while rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, momentarily resembling a cartoon character awakening from a deep sleep. His eyes widened as if a sudden jolt of realization had electrified his consciousness. 

"With a laptop?" he queried lazily, pointing a finger towards the device firmly held in Y/N's grasp. She pressed her lips together tightly, nodding in confirmation. "Y/N, what are you planning? You're dressed to go out, and you have a laptop. What's going on?" he probed, moving towards the edge of the bed. An icy chill ran through his feet, reminiscent of plunging into deep water. He rose to his full height, stretching his body with a seductive moan, seemingly even taller than before. He had already opened his mouth to speak but halted his words upon noticing the open drawer. 

His drowsy countenance swiftly transformed into one of alert sobriety. "Y/N?" he uttered; his voice laden with concern. 

In response, Y/N took two steps back and closed the door behind her. Hastily, she dashed towards the suitcase, swiftly closing it shut. ‘Run. Run!’ a voice screamed in her mind as tears welled up, mingling with a cascade of overwhelming emotions. With each passing second feeling shorter than the previous one, she flung the suitcase off the couch and gripped its handle tightly. 

Just as she rounded the corner, she heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. 

"Y/N, what are you—" Will's voice trailed off as he interrupted himself, his gaze falling upon the suitcase and Y/N's anguished expression, on the verge of tears. They stood motionless, locked in a silent gaze, while Will took slow steps towards her. Each stride was preceded by the realization of Y/N's missing belongings. He gently grasped her wrist, his touch pleading. 

"I'm scared now. What are you doing?" he implored, his voice trembling with uncertainty. A deluge of questions flooded his mind, eclipsing any semblance of answers. ‘What's happening? Where are you going? What do you want to do? Am I about to lose you? If I release your hand, will you leave the flat without a word of explanation? Am I on the verge of losing my love?’ 

No. 

There was no answer in his head.  

        𝕋he room was engulfed in a heavy silence, hanging thickly in the air as Y/N and Will locked eyes. It felt as though the weight of the world rested upon their shoulders, their gazes penetrating deep into each other's souls. Their eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the raw emotions swirling within them. They knew that the next words spoken would unleash a flood of tears, a deluge of pent-up feelings. 

"Please..." Their voices trembled in unison, on the verge of breaking down. Will's grip on Y/N's wrist loosened, an unspoken plea for her to join him in finding solace. Slowly, Y/N released her hold on the suitcase handle, surrendering herself to Will's guidance as he led her towards the couch. The room, shrouded in darkness, seemed to echo their internal turmoil. 

As they settled down on the couch, a pang of realization struck Will. He looked around the dimly lit apartment, taking in the sight of Y/N's belongings packed neatly into a single suitcase. The magnitude of her intention to leave without a word pierced his heart. In that moment, he understood that his beloved partner, the other half of his very being, was truly prepared to walk away. 

Their eyes remained locked, searching desperately for answers within the depths of each other's gaze. Tears glistened on their cheeks, threatening to spill over at any moment. They knew that the next words uttered would unravel their fragile composure, baring their vulnerabilities and fears. 

"Y/N, dear, what..." Will's voice quivered with unspoken emotions, his lip trembling as he carefully chose his words. His hand, once holding onto her wrist, now tenderly intertwined their fingers, seeking a connection amidst the uncertainty. He sensed Y/N's reluctance to meet his gaze, her eyes fixed on the reflection of their fragmented selves in the blank television screen. 

A flicker of apprehension passed through Y/N's eyes as she finally shifted her weeping gaze towards Will's tear-streaked face. She could see the traces of exhaustion etched into his features, beyond the mere physical realm. His weariness was a testament to the toll their shared struggles had taken on him, both mentally and emotionally. 

"Can you explain to me what's on your mind right now?" he asked after a moment. Along with his question, the woman looked with wider eyes in front of her. She looked as if she was asking herself this question by moving her lips slightly. 

"In my mind?" Y/N's voice quivered, barely audible, as if she was grappling with her own thoughts. She seemed to be silently questioning herself, her lips moving ever so slightly, searching for the right words to convey the storm raging within her. 

Before Will could interject, a wave of determination washed over Y/N, compelling her to press a gentle finger against his lips, stifling any potential denial. "Can't you see it, Will?" Her voice trembled, filled with a mix of sadness and regret. "It's not about how you've changed, how you've taken care of yourself. It's about how I've changed you." 

She withdrew her hand from his mouth, allowing her words to hang heavily in the air. Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over onto her flushed cheeks. "I'm destroying you," she continued, her voice filled with a blend of remorse and gratitude. "I appreciate your unwavering support, your presence. But it's a battle, a constant fight with myself. Every day, I strive to do better, to be more than I was yesterday, and..." 

        ℍer words trailed off, her voice choked with emotion. The weight of her admission hung in the silence, an unspoken question lingering in the air. Will's eyes mirrored the tumultuous storm brewing within him. Questions surged through his mind, seeking answers amidst the sea of uncertainty. What was happening to their once harmonious bond? How had their lives taken this unexpected turn? 

The room stood witness to their shared anguish, the silent plea for understanding and the desperate search for a path forward. In that moment, they both knew that they had reached a crossroads, where decisions carried the weight of a thousand possibilities. They sat there, locked in an embrace of uncertainty, their hearts yearning for resolution, and their souls bracing for the impact of the forthcoming revelations. 

"But I see it and-" she covered his mouth with her hand again. 

Y/N's hand trembled slightly as she covered Will's mouth once more, her eyes pleading for him to listen, to allow her the space to express her thoughts. The room fell into a profound stillness, their intertwined gaze conveying a mutual understanding. Will, respecting her request, nodded silently, the faint hues of dawn gently caressing their faces, as if lending a glimmer of hope to their conversation. 

Taking a deep breath, Y/N steadied herself, her voice quivering with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "Will... I want you to hear me out, to truly understand," she began, her words weaving through the fragile air that enveloped them. "It's not just about the weight gain, those two kilos. It's about what they symbolize, what they represent in the grand scheme of our journey." 

"Will... I'm trying to eat. I've put on weight! Yes, two kilos and I haven't noticed a difference in my body, but yes. It's a lot! However... It took me almost three months... No... It took US almost three months. Because it's our fight. But I'm the problem Will." Her eyes, brimming with tears, held an unwavering gaze with Will's, seeking solace and comprehension. 

Will's gaze softened, his own insecurities momentarily forgotten as he focused intently on Y/N's words. He peered down at his pajama-clad body, feeling a pang of self-reflection wash over him. Y/N's voice, warm with affection, reached his ears, alleviating the weight he had carried upon his shoulders. "You are beautiful, Will," she assured him, her voice holding a tenderness that transcended physical appearances. 

The weight of her words settled upon them, the unspoken acknowledgment that their struggles were intricately entwined. Y/N's voice grew more fragile, her emotions threatening to break through the surface. "But, Will," she continued, her voice laced with sorrow, "you're unintentionally destroying yourself mentally. Your relentless pursuit of my happiness has taken a toll on your own. I see it, Will." 

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, shimmering with unshed emotions. Her heart ached at the realization that her own struggles had become a barrier between them, casting shadows upon their once radiant connection. The weight of her own battles, coupled with the guilt of seeing Will bear the weight of her pain, bore heavily upon her conscience. 

Her voice quivered with a mixture of sorrow and gratitude as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry for becoming your problem, for placing this burden upon your shoulders. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Before we were together, before I entered your life. I don't want my struggles to overshadow yours, to dampen your spirit." Y/N's voice trailed off, her words mingling with the unspoken desire for their bond to find its equilibrium once more. 

Tears streamed down her face, a testament to the depth of her emotions and the love that still resided within her. She awaited Will's response, their intertwined fate hanging delicately in the balance, as they navigated the complexities of their intertwined journey together. 

        𝔸s they gazed into each other's eyes, a profound sense of understanding washed over them, like a gentle wave embracing the shore. Will tenderly wiped away Y/N's tears, his touch conveying both solace and reassurance. 

"My love, look at me," he softly implored, observing her eyes closed in an attempt to shield herself from the overwhelming emotions. "Please, open your eyes, my darling." With his gentle strokes against her cheeks, Y/N gradually blinked her eyes open, meeting the unwavering gaze of the person she held so dear. 

Rare were the instances in their shared history when Y/N witnessed Will shedding tears. He was not one to cry easily, his tears being reserved for moments of profound significance. Seeing him vulnerable in this way only reinforced her realization that she needed to address the impact her struggles had on the person she cherished most. 

"Hey, don't dwell on those thoughts now," Will soothingly spoke, his voice laced with a tender affection. "Listen to me, my love. Right now, there is no room for that voice in your head. There is only room for my words, okay?" Y/N sniffled and nodded, her expression a blend of fragility and hope. In this tender moment, he sought to redefine the narrative that had haunted her. 

"You were never the problem, and you will never be a problem to me," Will reassured her, his voice brimming with unwavering love and devotion. "You, my angel, my love. It's like a flu, just a bit more serious." He let out a gentle chuckle, the sound carrying a delicate warmth that enveloped them. "Yes, it's true that I am tired, more tired than before, but you are not the reason behind it. There are many things in my mind right now—the Twitch channel, YouTube, my music, my studies, and the nagging feeling of not being completely satisfied with what I'm doing. It's the culmination of all these things that contributes to my fatigue. But you, my love, you are not the problem." 

A surge of relief and gratitude washed over Y/N's weary soul as she absorbed his words, their significance resonating deeply within her. She couldn't help but regret the delay in recognizing her own need for assistance, but she found solace in the fact that she had come to this realization on her own. Will's pride in her resilience and daily struggle against her inner demons only served to strengthen her resolve. 

"Y/N, my love," Will continued, drawing nearer to her, their breaths mingling in the intimate space between them. "Every day, as you fight against that voice in your head, I am proud of you. I understand, because I too battle my own inner voice. 'Why bother eating when everything tastes the same?' But you know what? Eating together, sharing these moments at this very table, on this couch, it's my way of expressing my love for you. Because I love you, regardless of anything and everything. It doesn't matter who you are or what you may be going through. I love you every single day." 

In the tender silence that followed, Will's words hung in the air like an ethereal melody, resonating with the profound depth of his love for Y/N. Each word he spoke echoed within her heart, reaffirming the unbreakable bond they shared. The weight of his unwavering affection wrapped around her like a warm embrace, soothing the lingering doubts and fears that had plagued her. 

Their souls danced in perfect harmony, intertwined by a love that transcended superficialities. "No matter what you are or are not," Will declared, his voice trembling with emotion, "I love you every day." His words painted a vivid tapestry of acceptance and adoration, embracing every facet of her being. “With your hair styled, with a storm of hair. With sleepy eyes, with a beautiful baby face. In pajamas, in my clothes, in dresses, in shirts, trousers or skirt. I love you and never, no one and nothing will change that. I want to be with you." he said moving closer to give her a light kiss. "It pains me that I don't know how to convey this feeling in words. It's all good, but yet something hides inside me and wants to scream. It's fucking: weakness. I am weak... But. You are another part of me. Someone who makes me never feel alone, someone who makes me not give up in what I do. I love you, you're my Y/N." He said again kissing the woman who this time reciprocates his kiss.  

In that intimate moment, their hearts beat as one, the world fading into insignificance. Y/N, overcome by a surge of profound emotion, reciprocated his kiss, pouring her own love into the tender meeting of their lips. 

        "𝕀 love you too," she whispered, her voice carrying a newfound strength born from their shared vulnerability. Moving away slightly, she rested her forehead against his, their breaths intertwining as they merged into one. Her gaze, filled with a mixture of love and concern, met his deep brown eyes, which now appeared darker than their natural hue. 

"I want us to keep fighting," Y/N spoke softly, her voice a delicate plea. "But I also want you to fight for yourself, to remember the importance of self-care. Take care of yourself too, Will. Please." Her words held a gentle urgency, an acknowledgment of the toll their struggles had taken on both of them. 

A flicker of understanding illuminated Will's eyes as he absorbed her words, his gaze mirroring her own concerns. "You're right, my dear," he replied, his voice carrying a note of determination. 

"I think we need to take care of each other, my dear."   

[milkyruins]

## kim gyuvin x reader, TROPHY WIFE

warning, i've never played pubg in my life *puts on sunglasses*

summary: kim gyuvin might have an embarrassing amount of hours on pubg, but can he really beat his partner, the deadly streamer @/not.an_aimbot?

genre: fluff

content warnings: light cursing, fps/shooter games (violence/death/guns)

wc: ~0.8k

as soon as the webcam feed populated the screen, your comment section explodes. his eyes widen like a deer as he tries to catch whatever was being spammed in the chatbox.

"baby, say hi." regaining a bit of composure, gyuvin's normal cheery self comes back. he flashes your viewers that giant smile of his and waves at the webcam.

"woah, staring into this tiny camera is weird. anyways, i'm gyuvin, yn's-- or i guess you all know them as @/not.an_aimbot on here-- partner."

he pauses to stare at you, deadpanning hard. "have i ever told you how stupid your username is?"

you give his shoulder a light smack, which helps his grin return to his face. "hey! i'm just kidding! kind of!" to which he receives another smack.

"how dare you?! you've only been on stream for what... eight seconds and you're already trying to drag my username?" you puff your cheeks a bit in frustration.

"yeah. and?" he grabs your puffed cheeks and smushes them. hard. as you bark whine at him to stop, he decides to deal more damage. "it's like what a 11 year old boy who thinks they're good would name themselves."

after enduring his sweet gesture torturing for what felt like an eternity, he backs off. finally having your cheeks back in your custody, you continue trekking on. "i'm going to ignore that and move on then." you face the webcam again, eyes carefully trained on the lens. "gyu's here so i can deflate his massive ego via kicking his ass in pubg."

gyuvin huffs. "in your dreams."

"my user isn't just like that for show, y'know. i am pretty damn good."

he gives your hair a light ruffle, breaking character a bit. "i know you are, bubs. you're the best. but i have an embarrassing amount of hours on this game and i will not go down without fight." he proceeds to enter a fighting stance, fists up against the webcam.

and suddenly you're giggling like crazy because holy shit, your boyfriend was a dork. it seemed like your chat had the same idea. "ok loser, stop trying to fight the camera and enter the lobby."

-

"'aimbot's carrying as usual. gyuvin... he's trying.' @/not.a_luvbot, well said."

"hey!!" gyuvin grumbles, hands frantically smashing the keyboard for some avail. unfortunately, from the glimpses you took at his pov, it didn't seem to help. meanwhile, you were picking up kill after kill, but somehow couldn't find your partner, who you deeply desired to shoot dead.

"baby, where are you? i have a gift for you." you smile brighter than you have this entire stream when gyuvin shrieks at you to quote, "no!!!! take that gift and shove it up your a-".

since you were doing so well, you decide to take a hard-earned break to admire you boy. his little quirks when concentrating, like his eyebrow furrowing comically and him nibbling on his lower lip, were just so endearing. even the obnoxious rgb lighting of his headset highlighted his features breathtakingly. you give yourself a mental pat on the back for pulling this specimen of a partner.

but you had the gift of death to bestow on the egotist next to you, so you had to get to work. you move a bit so you're on some high ground and watch as your boyfriend, god bless his soul, hobbles into view. he was badly injured already, the poor thing.

oh well.

with a click of your finger, he's dead and gone. i mean, there was a reason you had to clarify you weren't an aimbot, no? the match is called and the username he so abhorred sprawls across your screen (next to the iconic "winner winner chicken dinner" of course) triumphantly.

"i wasn't on my game! babe!!"

you shrug, watching as "gg"s flooded the comments. "yep, good game y'all. bad game to you gyu."

"one more match."

"that's what you've been saying for the past three rounds. i hate to break it to you, but you've been absolutely trashed by a prepubescent boy with no naming sense. three times in a row."

"babyyy..." you don't miss the pout that starts to tug on his lips. it makes you scoff and melt at the same time.

patting his shoulder in mock sympathy, you reply. "it's okay gyu, you can be my trophy wife or something." he snorts at that, minor tantrum seemingly forgotten. he gets up from his stream, giving your cheek a quick peck before exiting from the camera's view. "sure, fine, whatever. what do you want for dinner then?"

[suddenserendipity]

Derek Suarez Week Day 1: Pinky promise

For @derek-week-event. I had forgotten about this during the summer but here I am - late but ready to contribute because Derek deserves all the goodness from the fandom too.

The phone rings as it lays on the pile of homework on the desk that he hasn’t gotten to yet. It plays a song that he once saw in concert - a long time ago. It’s what jolts him awake from his slumber on the bed. His guess is he had fallen asleep on his stomach sometime after coming home from school and now tries to to rub the sleep from his eyes as he answers.

Switching on the display the light almost blinds him and he winces before swiping on the little phone icon.

“Mmmyealloo…”  he slurs as a yawn breaks free from his jaws. It would have embarrassed him if he’d been more awake to care.

   “Uh…. Hi, it’s me” her voice is clear and though she sounds confused there’s a hint of amusement. “Sorry, Did I wake you?” 

He lets out a small chuckle  “Yeah… you caught me, uh - what time is it anyway?” He takes a turn around his bed to look at the clock radio standing on the bedside table showing ‘8PM’ in purple neon light. 

“Ugh… Oh shoot… I keep forgetting the different time zones. Well it’s 5PM here in California, I was just gonna have my dinner here in my dorm and thought I could call you because you probably were having dinner too.”

“Aww, I could probably swing that if… you just give me a few minutes. I haven’t eaten since lunch so… yeah a few minutes - Can I call you on video chat in maybe 10 minutes?”

She lets out a sigh that sends a delightful tingle down his spine through the cell phone. “Alright, but don’t take too long because my take out is getting cold as we speak”

“Derek’s back!” she shouts at him with a laugh as her image pops up on his laptop. “So what are you having? I’m having some lo mein but I also got some orange chicken and soup… Will probably have some of that for lunch tomorrow though”

“PB&J” he smiles and waves with the, clearly made in a rush, sandwich in his hand.

“That’s all? Peak nutritional value” she smirks at him as she twirls the noodles with a black plastic fork.

“I also got some BBQ chips and a protein shake… nearly all the food groups are covered” he teases as he opens the bag of chips with a distinct pop.

“Alright but promise me you’ll have something… more substantial for dinner tomorrow” she holds up her pinky towards the webcam and him. "Pinky promise"

He chuckles with a deep rumble in his chest at her silliness but holds up his pinky too “Pinky promise” 

[evita-shelby]

We didn't start the fire

Jack and Katie Nelson end up meeting Rose and Samuel Coldwell after getting arrested for the same crime in the same neighborhood

rose and sam belong to @justrainandcoffee

cw: drinking, drunk people, arson, absent dad, arrests

When Jack and Katie decided to track down his father, whom not even his elder half-brother knew, they didn’t think they’d end up in London.

Eva had come on business and while she did what she came here for, Jack had called Katie, who was visiting Colin’s family here, and went pub crawling for old time’s sake.

He should’ve known it was a bad idea when, despite being busy with vlogging everything they did, his sister managed to find his dad’s address. Katie was white girl wasted by now and Jack had reached that point of fuck it we ball moment of the night.

Jack had gotten a bottle of Bushmills Whiskey for the road somehow remembering that was his dad’s favorite drink when Eamon O’Neil met Rosemary Nelson during graduate school.

When they found the nice house empty and showing signs of a happy upper middle-class family it brought up all those times his mother struggled to raise him and his sister and all those times he could’ve used a fucking dad.

“Fuck him! Fuck that guy, you don’t need him, Jack. You hear me!” Katie pulls him down to her height as she assures him that his father doesn’t deserve to even know him.

And suddenly the ribbon in Katie’s blonde hair is shoved half ways into the bottle they were sharing at the curb and the lighter he kept from that day he met Eva in Vegas is in his hand.

The Instagram video has him tossing a Molotov cocktail prefaced with the words, “Fuck you!”. An iconic moment followed by him angrily ranting at the security camera closest to him about how Eamon O’Neil was a piece of shit who abandoned two pregnant women in Boston during his time at MIT.

In the same neighborhood, Rose and her brother had done the same to the house of Samuel Coldwell.

They are put in the same cell and nature takes its course.

Katie leads the way, always the funny charming one who knows how not to step on people’s toes while Jack has the subtlety of Godzilla trampling Tokyo. But with a few drinks in, a shared hatred of their absent fathers and being in here for the same crime two Irish Catholics and two English Jews become unlikely friends.

“Yeah, Jack can make molotov cocktails because he w---” Jack using his sister’s drunk state and his greater height to successfully put his hand over her mouth to prevent her revealing where his skills came from.

“Huge fan of the Good Place.” He says with a laugh that works good enough for the two women who end up changing the topic while Sam Coldwell silently agrees to keep his secret.

He’d been in a gang until he got too good at it and pissed off the leader causing him to end up in fucking Melbourne, Australia to avoid prison. Luckily there had been no proof and Jack was able to return with a masters in finance and a short but lucrative career as a webcam model.

Now he had graduated from Harvard Business College, gotten the investment firm off the ground to great success and would marry the love of his life if she could just get here to bail them out.

“Do you guys need any help getting bailed out, my girl says she doesn’t mind.” He offers after the phone call goes well enough.

“My brother-in-law is already coming, thanks for the offer.” Sam rejects the offer, and both guide their sisters ---who are tearfully bidding each other farewell and exchanging numbers as jumbled as they come out their mouths--- out of their cells.

Jack finds Eva chatting amicably with what he presumed is Rose’s husband and greets his future wife with a short kiss and threw his arm over her shoulder before asking, “How do you guys know each other?”

“We fucked the same guy.” Evie answered far too casually as she led them out the station and into Colin’s car.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

(vibrates) it's slug time

loving the slang... "tightness all day long" "today is toasty". also love that "babes" survives way into the future. 15 this is ur legacy. "that woman was her sister" incest implication??? 2 minutes in

TURN LEFT /triggered

the design in this is impeccable.

this is so sims coded.... from the creators of "doctor who is a tv show" theory we bring u-> "doctor who is a videogame"

if u were disappointed with the focus on magic this ep this ep is rlly giving classic scifi parody lol

CRAZY DAYS

there's a lot of wordsmith-ing in this ep….eyes emoji

i love ruby sm now she's so resourful in every ep

this episode is like "this is how an anniversary multi-doctor multi-companion multi-master webcam special could still win"

ok but seriously. ppl are gonna be like "phones bad is dumb of course people look where they are!!!" bro. they dont. and yeah it can have deadly consequences. there's a reason "dont text and drive" campaigns happen.

ruby has done SO many callcenter type jobs forreal.

SLUG TIME SLUG TIME SLUG TIME.

DR PEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

this episode is amazing

"is that thing something to do with you?" bitch (i got a bit spoiled that she's a racist (damn "looking at tumblr for 2 secs to vibe check" habit) so im looking at this with more hindsight than u are supposed to sdlkfjd)

bluie light celeste and gold motif in ruby and the doc's backdrops? also fifteen in orange <3333333 my beloved

the interior design is ON POINT this ep "you dont know how to walk without the arrows?" "condescending much?" bitch

this episode is so fun lol

"fifteen nd ruby react channel" realness (WHICH…..HEY…….DO U KNOW WHAT PPL REACT TO………………………. T V SH O W S (clown make up fully on))

ruby has done so much service calling jobs forreal lol the sheer patience

the doctor really wanting to lose their minds here but having to hold it together is peak doctor sdkjfsd (also very realistic of the struggles i expected a black doctor to work thru)

there's a bit of a theme of instinct vs programming going on here.

"surrounded by this woodland forest thing. it's like, really natural"

hashtag obsessed with it the catharsis im feelin tbh. 2 ppl being like "yo mass killing is rlly wrong" while the cacophony of the internet ~fun goes on and on. where's the [fiction]

ITS LIKE LOVE ISLAND THE PLANET. BRO. bro im so WIRED IN /clown make up intensifies

penny pepper bean still strong holding the 12 ppl still in the tory party together in the year something something

"ruby and the doctor struggle to lie in the moment" is my favorite recurring trope

the doctor using the sonic as a remote right there……………….. im running out of clown make up ya'll

"you did NOT just "@everyone" realism

no one ever listens to the goths….

until its too late…

its interesting that there's no cameras in their feeds, tho. right? like. that's the layer i think it's profoundly different to irl in this satire / social crit. ppl are *locked out* of the real world bc they're looking at their screens, but they do that bc the screens are a constant waterfall of billions of camera footage either of individuals or coporations or institutions. always producing "content". so like is not that ppl dont "see" anythign irl but they see it all thru a filter or thru editing,,,, but its fine i get what the satire is going for slkdfj but yeah. i think thats why it may feel a bit "not quite capturing" of the current ~digital ethos

fifteen so close to losing it- fifteen if u want to go for a bit of a timelord victorious i wont judge. u can have it. as a treat.

doctor who is a videogame energy bbc merch idea -> zombies run type podcast but it's the doctor and ruby telling u where to go for a job so u dont die. (russel get on this)

YOU STILL HAVE BATTERY PROBLEMS

"this is your fault!" iconic. classic who

so many ppl have presumably died so far. god bless. we needed an ep like this. proper high body count who feels good. feels organic.

rip the au where these were the beatles. thats 1 theory im really gonna mourn for the rest of the series lol

plaza 55…… orphan 55 reference???

great abrogation sounds important.

"i will get out out of here. i promise" obligatory doctor mirroring moment.

oh shit.

"thi iss SO manual"

"hands off" I LOVE THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor x companion x some bland guy love triangle DREAM omg

"he says they're saving us to eat for last (snob voice)maybe we're the most tasty" scream. this ep is so fun.

pentecost's style was so on point.

wasnt her battery running out? (i may have missed something sldkjf)

bro stop hitting the fucking gas pipes oh my goddddd

holy shit. RICKY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that was brutal.

racists are gonna hate this episode so much lol

fifteen getting to experience all the microaggressions/outright aggressions thirteen didnt. yay progress(???) "thats voodoo" holy shi t

"maintain the standards of finetime" rtd was pissed when writting this lol

fifteen is not doing all rightkids.

ncuti's "who's my doctor? he's a black man" prophecy comes FULL CIRCLE

fifteen looking at US tho…………… this is a tv show man. this is a tv show. this is - *im struggle against my straight-jacked as im graddged back to the cushion-walled cell*

the plot twist of this ep………… phones good actually. thank u phones. u are doing a service.

CONCLUSIONS!

so there's a lot of ways to chop this one…

"racism and capitalism still exists in the future" is a trope that it's kind of limiting / always grates me in some ways (it feeds into the anti-racism of ppl whose politics doesnt trascend idealist philosophy -> that is, it is an anti-racism that can't conceive of an end to racism bc it doesn't actually have a political project that address the material causes of racism and just tries to fix the "natural prejudices" away with "education". in other words, it cant portray a word without racism bc it cant *conveive* of one.) . however i think im more open to it this time / this series since s11 onwards the focus has been so much on telling stories about the present with scifi make up on. and i think this one manages to do that rlly well. ___

another vertice to look this one on is whether... is it really "doing anything" to have racism portrayed on screen (and other bigotry) in a scifi story? if u already experience racism or understand it happens, who is served by this? it's hurtful to watch and it's like missing the chance to "show a different world" is possible thru scifi. and the counterargument to that is on a """""color blind"""""" 2020s world it is rlly cathartic and re-affirming to have stories that *show* the realities of the world, and that dont shy away from showing those realities in fear of them coming off as "over the top" (bc they arent. some ppl will still walk away from this ep thinking "haha fun satires" but like. this is literally how White Rich People Talk. in real life.......) and again in this one time i think it works really well bc doctor who has… probably never done this? lol there's moments with martha and ryan for example, but never going this hard on it. but im open to discussion tbh. i think the angle of "is this a story about racism for white people to learn or is it a cathartic for *black / brown people to experience catharsis in" is gonna be one for fruitful discussion in the future. ___

besides the socio-political points,,,, bro this episode was a thrill ngl sdlkjf like so many simple, excellent moments like the girl walking into the light post. the made up slang and the real slang!!!!. the excellent interior design. "ruby and fifteen react to doctor who". just lots of fun little details. the execution was really inspired.

character point -> tbh fifteen at the end feels like a bit of Growth from like, ten at his worst moments -> "he's not the person you would have chosen to survive, but if you could decide who lives or dies, doctor, that would make you a monster"

also kinda wonder how this episde will hit for newbies / Not Us. i think a lot of its gut punch comes from dw never doing this before and so the strenght of subverting those expectations. is this an story that stands on its own w/o all the 60 years of context? we'll have to show it to our normie friends and see lol

[ch6douin]

> Sᴀᴠᴇ ᴜs — IDV! SELF AWARE AU (2)

I said that i didn't pretend to do more content about this au but here I am, you, the reader is talking to multiple characters since they are all curious.

You can't close it.

You can't close the goddamn game.

You keep trying to leave but you can't, it won't let you, they won't let you. You feel nervous, and a thin layer of sweat forms on your skin.

You just wanted to play normally, and chat with your friends, but you just entered the game and for some reason, your friend list is gone, there is nothing more than one single chat, with a blank profile picture and a name that consisted of random numbers. You were already used to random bugs that couldn't get fixed now, so you were ready to leave the game hoping this would work but there you are now, trying to leave and ignore the red light on top of the chat icon. But nothing happened. You finally give up, maybe you have no choice other than check out that weird chat.

Clicking on it, the first message makes you confused.

"Please let us go."

" Huh? Let who go? Who am I talking to right now?" You say that out loud while looking at your device trying to figure out what was exactly happening. Then, another message pops up:

" Don't play dumb, you are involved in this. We are trapped because of you."

If it wasn't already surprising enough that they heard you, they were accusing you of something. You feel your stomach drop with the knowledge that they could hear what you said, everything, your eyes wander around your room, and the paranoid thoughts are eating you up from the inside out. Nothing could release from the pure panic that sets deep into your bones now. You try to breathe deep and slowly, to stop yourself from getting more and more desperate, your device is far from you since you throwed it away on your bed, and you hope that they can't hack your webcam...You couldn't talk to them like this, not right now.

"Answer me."

"Answer me."

"Answer me."

"It's me!"

"It's me!"

"I'm the P̷̲̻̙̟̌̀́̽̌͊ǒ̵̹͕͔̳̻̥͇̔́̈́͒̃̋͘s̶̡̨̢̲̪̳̮̰͔̪͗̊̓̆͒̌̇͗̑̌̓͆͠ͅt̸̗̭̺̳̖̹̜̖̥͓͖̀͒́́̏̃̆̑̚̚͠͝m̷͚͔̮̤̆́̈́̐̍͋͜ä̷͉́̇͒ņ̵̤̺̻͈͓̮̜̫͓̳̙̑͌̕͘M̷̨̢̛̤̫̯̜̫̱̬̱̖̻̥̈́͒́̾̈́̆͒͛̃̋̂̕͝ͅe̴̢̳͍̗̞͍̻̓͗̽͌̎̓́͊́̕͘̕̕͝͝r̷̢̩̹̤̪͉͙̓̂̓̽́ć̸͈́͛͑̈́͂̾̓͑̏̚è̷̦̞͎̞͕̬̱͊͆̇͋́̂̉̃̕͜n̵̡̢̧̜̞͙̲͑̀̒̈́̎̋̔͌͊̀̈͘͝ả̴̪̊͛̾̿̅̆̽̄̾̎̿̎̚r̶̭̗̘͓̎y̵̖̹̅̇͂̒̇͛͌̓̋̆͋͠��̹̣͙͚̮̙̳͎̟͇̞?P̶̬̟̊̄͐̂̐̂͠ṙ̶̙̥̣̤͚͓̞̞̻͈̿̊̀̀̏̔̏͆̿̿͌̀͝i̶͙̱̘͂͆̃̍̀ḛ̸̬̪̹̫̭̭̙͓̭̒̿̊͠ͅs̵̹̰͚̰̮̹̮͖̕̚͝ṱ̷̛̞͔̠̜̪̼̏͆̓͆̾̽͂͂͛́̍́͘͠ḙ̵͉̺̑̆̒̃͊̀̋͛͝s̶̢͔̹͔͓̜͆s̷͙̑̇̓͐̿͜...??"??

...

The game crashed, and you wonder what you should do now.

[spotaus]

Trying this post again because I got too invested and wrote too long of a post. But. Pretender Streamer AU.

Like, post True Ending for Doppletale, Pretender gets to the surface, tries a bunch of work, and settles on Streaming I'm hid free time because it seems fun. People swarm to his channel because he's a monster and they wanna see the monster online!

1) Iconically a Grandpa with technology. Often has to have MTT or the Human help him set things up or fix things. If they're not in, he's been known to stream without a Webcam or turning a gameplay into a Q+A with the chat if the game gets disconnected.

2)Cozy-Streamer energy. Sure, every once in a while he'll lean into his spooky side, but he loves nothing more than getting a good grade in human interaction, and humans online love a good friendly Streamer:]

3) Exclusively played Horror Games for a few years, because they didn't scare him, and the atmosphere of them felt familiar. Then MTT invited him to a Minecraft server full of other streamers and he joined one day, mid-stream, without warning and just started wandering. The other streamers were thrilled to have him, taught him how to minecraft, and he never turned back (comfy cottage in the flower field biome).

4) Does he do public appearances? Sometimes. Cons are usually most likely to snag him (he loves disappearing into the crowd unsupervised) but even those are rare because he doesn't want to travel too far.

5) Sometimes during a stream he'll spontaneously decide to start giving a medical history lesson to the chat. (With a prior warning, of course.) Like, people in chat coukd ask about symptoms and he'd be likely to spew exactly what illness or problem they were referring to, with a story to boot. He's going to med school on the side, but Gaster taught him a few things over the years too. (He is not infallible. He doesn't know a lot of the updated terms for illnesses that haven't been covered in his classes, so sometimes he'll use offensive terminology w/o meaning to. Chat usually yells at him for it and he goes and looks up the new term and uses that instead. )

6) He usually wears a sweater or jacket and sits during his streams, and often has his hood pulled up and dreds down loose. (Usually streams in Human Disguise unless it's a special event.) Generally pretty bare-minimum outfits. But once MTT (prominent fashion influencer) had Pretender as a guest and dressed him up and gave him the full make-over. His fans went Feral over the fact that he was just built like that. Obviously he shapeshifts, but no change between his streams and this one besides the clothes. He lets MTT call him back on whenever he wants, because it boosts foth of their views a *lot*.

7)Completely unconcerned for his own safety/privacy. Mainly because everyone already knows he settled in the city at the base of the mountain, and because he's strong enough to obliterate anything that's actually a threat. (Plus, shape-shifting and centuries of experience mimicking people makes it *really* easy to throw people off his scent.)

8) His chat often asks him to looks like people/animals/things. A common one he always declines are animals characters. They're 2D and therefore have no working dimensions to go off of. If Pretender tried to amalgam an Anine character he'd traumatize his audience, so he refuses. (If Alphys never figured it out, no way he'd be able to do it.)

[indigitalembrace]

Whoa...! Hooolllyyyy Craaapp...!!

[they drop their GameBoy and scramble when they see the webcam enable icon pop up]

Uh... Kinito...? Is that you...??

-👾

Hello friend.... Sorry if that startled you... I just... wanted to see all of your faces...