#we've only been talking like 30 seconds just a hi and a hello

[bbibbirose]

story time !

[jarofstyles]

Illicit

Hello my loves! Welcome to the first part of our next mini series we've been working on behind the scenes. The next 2 parts are available immediately on Patreon now, but will be updated here in the next few weeks!

Patreon

Warnings- cheating ( WITH y/n), Asshole Harry, I hate everyone but her, old money/wealth, toxic relationship dynamic, harry is mean and will be mean but not to Y/N lmao, smut

WC- 2.4k

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Harry had just finished cleaning himself of cum as his phone rang. 

It was his girlfriend. ‘Girlfriend’, really, because this wasn’t a real relationship. Not in his mind, anyways. 

“What?” His voice was a sharp whip, already annoyed that the post orgasm bliss had been interrupted by Katherine. Y/N was sitting next to him, her leg thrown over his thigh as fingers traced over his chest, absentminded circles pausing when she heard his attitude already. Her brow raised as he lifted the phone to show the name on the screen, making her nod, lips turning down. That irritated him further. 

“When are you coming to get me?” A voice that pierced his ears made him close his eyes, a dull throb beginning to coast down his head. “Daddy said you’re coming to the event and you were going to pick me up!” 

She was huffing like a child, not wanting to wait. Realistically, he would leave in 30 minutes. Y/N would stay curled up in his bed and wait for him to come home before he took her away to one of his family cabin’s with the rest of their friend group- the ones who knew of him and Y/N. He would spend the entire night trying to think of an excuse to get back to her early, and hoping Katherine wouldn’t throw a fit about not being able to come on this ‘business trip’.  

“You live with your father. Could you have not shared a ride?” His tone was icy, something Y/N had never been the recipient of. Thank god, really. As sexy as it was to hear him talk like that to other people, it would definitely make her cry. The man was intense, even he knew that, but not everyone seemed to catch on. 

“Hazza! Come on.” She whined. “He already left and stopped by the office. I’m getting ready now but we have to be early for the photos!” As if that was going to help her cause. It was like the girl had a handbook on how to say the wrong things. 

Harry didn’t do those stupid step and repeats. While Katherine loved being the center of attention, it wasn’t something Harry desired. In actuality, he detested it. He hated paparazzi and had broken 2 cameras from having them in his face without a second glance. No aggression, the picture of calm with pure ice on his face as he did so. If they valued their possessions, they shouldn’t be shoving them in people’s way. That’s what he thought, at least. 

“I’ll be there in an hour. I’m not doing those photos. I don’t care what you do. Now stop calling me when I'm in the middle of things. You know if I don’t answer once, wait for further instruction.” He paused. “And stop calling me that childish nickname. I don’t find it cute or endearing, it’s embarrassing. Goodbye.”

There was a sharp squeak as he hung up the phone and threw it to the ground, rolling Y/N around onto her back and sliding his still sticky cock back inside of her yet again. His annoyance was clear on his face, but it quickly melted away as her arms wrapped around him and her lips covered his face with soft coos, legs pulling him in deeper. Maybe she was a bit sore, maybe his last load was still dripping out of her messy hole, but she knew exactly how the man needed to express himself. 

“I know.” Her silky voice wrapped around his tension and broke it down, slow thrusts inside of her quelling the bubbling irritation in his stomach and turning it into arousal. Y/N could read his stone cold features, knew what his eye twitch meant, the simple movement of a brow or the tiniest down or upturn of lip. This magnificent woman seemed to have him all figured out, and he felt like shit for having to leave and be seen with another woman. “I know, baby. Only a few more months.” Fingers stroked his hair back, guiding his lips to her own.

 He kissed her back, eyes squeezing shut as he allowed himself to lose the anger that had developed by focusing on her. The heat of her cunt wrapped up tight around him, snug. Fitting him perfectly, just as it always had. Y/N was the one he had wanted to take to these things, but he had to wait. For once, his patience wasn’t being practiced. 

The best thing in his life had to be hidden from most people, all because he had taken a stupid deal. He had to go out with the girl who thought she was going to be the next Mrs.Styles, while all he wanted to do was stay nestled in his luxury sheets with Y/N’s soft, supple body to worship. 

It was all his fault, though. 

He had always been ambitious. Ruthless, some may say, but he knew that to a degree he could be cruel to get what he wanted. That was how had been raised. His father had put that right into his head, doing anything for success, power, money… that’s how he ended up in this situation. 

In order to secure the deal of a lifetime, he had agreed to date the man’s daughter. Maybe that sounded cruel, but he knew the intentions from the get go. The man was using his conventionally pretty, high society daughter to try and sweeten the deal- but he knew the true motivation. An attempt to get him into the family and continue having control of the company through his daughter’s supposed relationship with him. If only he had been smarter, if he had done more research. He would know he was sending a sacrificial lamb right into Harry’s awaiting lion jaws. 

See, she had been no stranger to him. Katherine had been after him for quite a while. They were acquainted to a certain degree, running in similar circles and society dinners. The crush, more so the obsession she had with Harry had been no secret to anyone. She claimed to have been in love with him, but Harry knew what it truly was. A lust for money. An infatuation with the power he could secure her. She loved what Harry could represent for her, not only to secure place in the society she had been thrown into as she grew up- but to elevate it. She knew the score, knew what Harry’s ring could mean. 

Katherine knew nothing of his true personality, his likes, his dislikes, his jokes. All of those things were reserved for the tiniest selection of people that she only knew of in passing. His real friends barely touched that superficial, vapid, bitter world. Katherine’s family was new money, looking to secure their place in society. Harry’s wealth went in decades, and it would most likely stay that way. Her vying for his attention didn’t shock him in the slightest. 

The condition of dating Katherine for at least a year had been one he had wanted to scoff at, one he had wanted to tell Mr. Eugene Brant that it would be obvious what it was, but he was smart enough to bite his tongue and agree. Playing stupid was a superpower, letting him think he got one over on Harry and vastly overestimating his daughter’s appeal. One year of being toted around with her overly big smile and his signature scowl on his face hadn’t been an issue. It was something he would merely go through the motions of until the exact year was up and she would be out of his life. 

At least, it hadn’t been until he met Y/N. 

The first woman who had ever captured his heart and soul. Softened the edges of his razor sharp glare.

She hadn’t wanted to give him the time of day once she realized he had been flirting whilst not single. She hadn’t known the deceptive relationship and it hadn’t been her fault, but that didn’t mean Harry was going to leave well enough alone. Even after she had dumped her  Shirley temple on his brand new pure cotton button up. 

If anything, it made him want her more. 

One thing about Harry? He was going to get what he wanted. He would bet anything on it. He was patient, stubborn, and fixated. Checking guest lists to see if she’d be in attendance to parties, see if she was going to hang out with his friend group, he was on the prowl to get her to talk again. 

She had blocked his number already- he didn’t really have a chance to explain. He understood why, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up. 

When he finally did have the shot to tell her the relationship was a hoax, she was still doubtful. Dubious looks sent his way as he had pulled them into a private room of the club they were at- one his father owned, funnily enough- his hand holding hers as he sat beside her to plead his case. He was strong and defiant, insisting that it was a means to an end and there was no clause saying he couldn’t date other people- but he would like to get to know her on a real level. 

Against her better judgment, Y/N had fallen for the soft green eyes, the soft looking lips with the sharp cupid's bow and his even sharper tongue. Giving him one date was all he needed to get her on board. 

Fidelity wasn’t a term in the contract he had signed. Stupid, stupid mistake on Brant’s part. A new money, no lawyer to look over, a hasty mistake that would most definitely come to bite him in the ass. Harry hadn’t honored fidelity in the slightest even before he met Y/N. Sex was an outlet for him, as was the gym, things that were pleasurable and stress relieving. He’d only slept with Katherine a handful of times, tapering that off when he saw it made her get more and more attached. She had obviously known Harry had a reputation and while the sex had been alright, there hadn’t been much to his benefit besides the fact that she swallowed his load. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard to find willing participants. 

Sex with Y/N had completely rocked his world. He thinks, in part, it was because they had a real connection. She made him wait, she made him work his way up to that if he wanted- and made him stop sex with anyone else. As if he had any interest in anyone else. Y/N had taken up the majority of his brain that wasn’t filled with revenue and contracts and contacts and emails. She was his escape. 

The first time they had sex, Harry had fallen for her. There was no question in his mind. Despite being positive that he wouldn’t ever marry for love, Y/N had him questioning that. She had flipped his entire world view upside down, made him weak in the knees. 

Y/N wasn’t in the public eye. Her family had some elite ties, but she was friends with a lot of the quietly wealthy people who didn’t feel the need to showcase it to everyone who looked with tacky labels and monograms. She’d gotten into one of the best schools, gotten her degree and continued her friendship with her roommates and best friends- who just happened to be the girlfriends of some of his best mates. The real ones. There were only a few single members of the groups, and Y/N had been the new blood that had people wondering. Harry had been interested immediately. 

It was about 4 months into their relationship and everything still felt fantastic. Y/N knew more about Harry than anyone else ever could. She was the one with the key to the future, even if she didn’t know the exact depths his feelings went to. 

“I don’t want to go.” His lips parted from hers. “I want to stay here… want to stay buried inside of you, want to feed you your chocolate and lick it from your tongue.” Inhaling his words, she moaned as his hips rolled and he found his home back at her most sensitive spot. He had spent hours finding it, claiming it, and he knew it was his. “Spent all week working… I just want my sweet Angel.”

Noses brushed against one another, Y/N’s bleary eyes opening up to look at his own. Hazy, dark green, hooded. She gently dragged her nails over his shoulder blades, arching up into him and pressed a bit harder on the skin to make him moan in surprise. “You have me, Harry.” She whispered. “You have me now. Leave with my traces on your cock… then come back and take more. We leave tomorrow… and you can hold me how you like. Kiss me. Our friends don’t care. They’ll keep our secret.” Even if it was forbidden, their tight knit group knew exactly what the relationship between Harry and Katherine really was- and none really liked her. They knew Y/N made him happy, softened him up, they’d all been rooting for this. Their safe space. The only ones who knew. 

“She won’t ever have me.” He reassured. “I’m yours. I want your marks on me.” Breathing harder, his thrusts getting a bit more deep. “Make me bleed. C’mon, my sweet girl. Paid for those nails… give me what I want.” Her cunt quivered around his prick, making him smile. She pretended not to like that sort of thing, but she got them done specifically for this. To quench his thirst for pain, for marks. They loved it. “She’ll never have me like this. I’m yours.” He whimpered, the freak of the bed and their noises filling the room. “M’yours, baby. My sweet Angel… stay in my bed and wait for me. I’ll give you everything. Just wait for me.” 

She would. She would wait for him, to be his fully, as long as it took.

[southerntigress]

Hello 👋 I was wondering if could write a story about the reader and her best friend try out to be the new nasty habits they both get the part Nikki is hot for both of them

The other band members tell Nikki don't mix business with pleasure

But he doesn't listen to them

One night before a concert on the current tour Nikki snakes both of girls in his dressing room they give him a bj together and he fucks them

Trying not to get caught or heard by the other guys he puts bandanas over their mouth so they don't moan out loud

Maybe add a breeding kink

I'm sorry all that just popped in my head

And I suck writing at fanfiction

Mixing business with pleasure

Hey sorry it took so long but here u go and also I don't do breeding kinks sorry but I hope u like it anyways

Me and my best friend Lauren had the day off we was lazing around the house waiting to go to an audition to be Motley Crue's nasty habits. We had been dancers all of lives that's actually how we met and became friends she was in my dance class when I was like 5 and she was 6.

Now we are 25 and 26 it's crazy how time flies when u are having fun. She's my roomie, my bestie and most of all my sister I love her to pieces.

I was lost in thoughts when she suddenly bursts through my door

"Get up and get dressed or we are going to be late" she says excitedly

I roll my eyes "we have 4 hours before we have to be there and it's only a 30 min drive from here chill out we got plenty of time" I say with a giggle

She raises her eye brow at me " Carrie Ann do you not know who you are talking to"

I nod "yes I do we have plenty of time"

"Bitch it'll take 3 hours to prepare and get dressed, get up" she said pulling my arm

I laugh and pull my arm away " that's cause u are super high maintenance. It'll take me 1 hour to get ready" I say

She groans " ugh I can't stand your ass" she says throwing a pillow at me

I catch it and laugh "love you too" I say as she walks out of the room

Fast forward 4 hours we finally get there and Lauren is dragging me through the sea of people. We finally arrive at the room the auditions are being held at it's empty which is weird I thought it would be packed

I looked at Lauren " it's kinda weird being the only ones here you think we are at the right place?"

She shrugs

A lady walks up to us "may I help you ladies"

"We are here to audition for motely crue" I say

She looks us up and down "ah yes right this way"

She leads us down another hall way and we enter the room " you girls are the last ones so good luck, go on the guys are waiting" she says and walks out

We go further in and there they are Nikki, Vince, Tommy in all of their glory looking all fine and hot.

Nikki is the first to noticed us and smiles " wow look at you ladies yall are the hottest chicks we've seen all day" he smirks

"Keep it in your pants Sixx" Vince says

Nikki flips him off

Lauren and I just giggle

"Alright ladies we're going to go through one song and this will definitely show us if you got what it takes so show us what you got" Tommy says

We get in position as 10 seconds to love starts to play I start to move my hips very seductively and bite my lip as I walk a little closer to the table and bend over shaking my ass Nikki slaps my ass hard.

Lauren crawls across the floor to me comes up on her knees as I get down on mine

Our hands are roaming each other bodies as we grind on each other and right before the song ends we kiss.

We get back up and stand infront of them waiting on their reaction

"Holy shit" says Vince

"Fuck dude" Tommy says

Nikki is staring intently at us with a devilish smirk "that was fucking hot and hands down the best audition we've seen" he says

"Give us a minute" Vince says and we go into the hall

A few minutes later Nikki and Tommy comes out

"Congrats you both are the new nasty habits" Tommy says hugging us

Nikki walks up to us and hugs us "I can't wait to be on tour with you" he says looking at both of us

The tour has started and it's been going amazing the guys and even the fans have made us feel like part of the family. Nikki has been extra handsy and flirting lately despite the others telling not to mix business with pleasure he invited us to his dressing room tonight before the show.

As soon as we walked in he locked the door and slammed his lips on mine we heavily made out as his pressed his body against mine.

He pulled away and brought Lauren in and pressed her against the door next me as he attacked her lips as well.

He pulled back from her and looked from me to her to me again and said "Fuck I need both of you right now but we got to be quiet so the other don't hear ok"

We nod

he starts to undress us then himself he smirks at our reaction to him naked he may be older but fuck me does he still look hot as hell

He looks at me "like what you see sweetheart" he smirks

"Fuck yeah I do" I say

"Good cause you both are going to give me a blow job and then I'm going to fuck both of these pretty little pussies" he says

I drop to my knees after he said waisting no time in taking him in my mouth I move my head up and down his length he grabs my hair and holds me in place as he starts to thrust his hips forward I continue to suck him off for a few more minutes til he pulls me off of him and tells Lauren it's her turn she takes him in her mouth and deep throats him he groans and reaches his other hand down and starts to finger me I throw my head back and moan.

He suddenly pushes us off of him and pulls out 2 bandanas "time to fuck those pretty pussies but I gotta keep you from moaning loud so we don't get caught" he says as he ties them around both of our mouths

He fucks both of us til we can't move or make any more nosies we cum and so does he. We lay on the couch catching our breaths.

Maybe mixing business with pleasure isn't so bad after all

[bwobgames]

Previous First

His name is Eugene Coli

He's walking in the corridor of the second floor, there's a pretty clock there

He thinks of turning off the lights again

But he doesn't want to over use it too quickly

It's a good and efficient method, but he's planning to use one of the bombs this time.

He really liked the light show they make

He hears the loud laugh of his sister on the floor beneath him

She must be in the bar, then

What a shame

He thinks a bit about her

She was the one to ask his parents to let him out of jail

She's nice, really

A nice little sister

If only she didn't decide to choose some girl over family

That's okay

Maybe he'll visit her after this

She's the type who doesn't stay mad at people, always apologizing first

She needs to apologize.

She needs to feel sorry.

He will make her feel sorry.

"What are you doing"

Now that's a voice he wants to hear

He has been feeling little steps behind him for a while now

Seems like a little duckling wants to follow him. It's cute

"Hello, you"

He's been waiting for her

Just to talk, for now

It depends how it goes

"Answer me. What are you hiding about this place"

But something is not quite right

What is that little noise he's hearing...?

Ah, of course

"What am I hiding? Not much, really

The ones who are hiding are our audience by the stairs!"

"Huh?"

Of course, those two would be here

That guy just can't help but meddle in other people's business, can't he?

So silly, doesn't he know curiosity killed the cat?

Stubborn bastards, both of them

"Come out, boys! There's no need to hide!"

"Ah, well then. This is embarrassing. Would a coming out joke be appropriate?"

"Uh, No thanks! Here its fine!"

"Nonsense! You won't get to hear anything from over there!"

"This is not the first walk of shame I've done, but this one will definitely haunt me for 30 to 40 years"

They shamefully walk forward

Isn't this nice

He has all the people he needed right in front of him!

Oh, he can have a bit of fun with it this time around

But what could this pair be scheming now?

So troublesome, these two

"Wha- were you spying on us?!"

"Uh, hello"

"No, shut up, what are you doing"

"Now, that's not very ladylike of you, Nereida"

"Shut the fuck up it's Nadia. What are you planning, all of you"

"Me? I don't have anything planned, really. I'm just going with the flow"

And it's really relaxing! He has never felt this relaxed in his life. Ever.

"But I do also wonder what these two gentlemen are doing here, care to explain?"

"Ah, yes!"

"Stay calm"

"Sorry to interrupt your uh, family reunion, Mr. Coli

It's nothing big, just a small question and we can leave

You see, I thought this must be some type of huge family reunion, so uh, I wanted to ask...

Why was I invited?

Um, me and my friend here, plus another friend, are wondering this

Are we related? Or something? I'm sorry it's just... we've never met so... uh... yeah"

"Sorry for interrupting"

"Aw, you call me Mr. Coli? That's so sweet

Don't worry, you came at a great time, actually! I can quickly answer both of these questions!

You see

This house has a time loop! Have you heard of those? And it activates every time someone dies!

And I will kill all of you

Hope this answers your questions!

Now you can stop acting"

[nerevarswritingstuff]

First of all, hi, how are you? Second; I've been wanting to start writing fanfics or something like that, and the way you write is quite beautiful as well as your stories. Could you give me some advice and how is your process for writing and planning fanfics?

Hello there! I'm doing well and hope you are too <3

Thank you so much ;;v;; I'm glad you enjoy my writing!

HMMMM //strokes chin I have a few methods I usually use when it comes to planning fanfics or even stories in general... let me see if I can get a little list together

JUST A NOTE! This is how I usually do it, and while it's worked out for me, it might not work out for you or anyone else. It's all about finding what works best for you!

MUCH IS WRITTEN UNDER THE CUT (I got carried away........) SO BE READY

Planning

Now, when it comes to planning, what I usually do is figure out the end first. I don't really know how to explain it, but once I know how I want a story to end, I can figure out how the beginning and middle work out much easier.

This certainly doesn't work for everyone, because sometimes it's the ending that's the hardest to figure out, and other times it's the beginning or even the middle. That's just my personal thing.

A piece of advice I can give, if planning the ending doesn't work out, is to figure out what significant point you want to reach in the story. It can be 3 chapters in or 30 chapters in. What is the arc you want to reach and how do you plan to reach it?

After planning the ending, I go almost immediately into the characters. The most important thing I personally believe when making characters is a mixture of the personality and background. Background always comes first, because that's what helps make the personality--as our personalities are highly influenced by the life we've led.

A thing I've learned to use is the MBTI scale to help get a feel for how a character would act in certain situations and how their head works in general everyday life. (Again, this is a method that won't always work for everyone, it just works easiest for me!)

We'll use our characters from the TIaF fic, specifically Wukong, Macaque, Mei, MK and Nibby aka Reader as the examples!

Wukong: While most of his story hasn't changed too much, his personality has changed a lot. He's a monkey who almost always put his people and his friends before himself. He still holds himself in high regard, of course! He is the Handsome Monkey King, after all! However, he is also fiercely loyal to those he is close to, and he had to learn the hard way to not make it so obvious he cares. On top of this, he has also been (mostly wrongfully) blamed for most of the things that went wrong after the rebellion against the Heavenly Realm, to the point he actively believes that whatever bad thing that happened is his fault. And finally, he never makes it obvious what his true feelings are, especially the negative ones. In his experience, only a select few could handle his negative emotions, and they're long gone. Now, he has no one, and anyone he tried to talk to about it would shy away or be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of emotions he has that aren't just the usual "positive, impulsive Monkey King." Wukong's MBTI used to be ENTP, but now he leans more towards ENFP. He's very conscious of the emotions of others, but not his own. He's grown so used to not speaking about his emotions that he has difficulty acknowledging them. This makes Wukong a very complex and extremely complicated character who has more layers than an onion. Kind, caring, observant, impulsive. These are the words that best describe him.

Macaque: Macaque was a tough one to figure out, mainly because writing characters like him were something I always had some difficulty with. While Wukong believes everything is his own fault, Macaque believes that he is a villain, while Wukong and everyone else is a hero. Macaque's purpose is to hurt and kill, not heal and save. His black and white mentality was what made him think he'll never be anything more than a monster. He's also someone who's just as impulsive and controlled by his emotions. Sure, he was the thinker between Wukong and himself, but he's not completely detached to his emotions. When he gets desperate, he can't think properly, making him rush into doing things or making decisions. And much like Wukong, Macaque used to be open with his emotions (not as open as Wukong, mind), but time and trauma caused him to internalize a lot. His support group was practically nonexistent after The Disaster™ happened. It didn't help that during this time he was stewing in his thoughts, unable to properly get them out. He's certainly a complicated guy to figure out. He cares, but he doesn't like showing he does. He only gives a piece of help but never too much unless it's either worth his while or he's convinced to do so, because he believes "heroes" are the only ones who do that. And he's not a hero. If I were to lump him into the MBTI, he would be... either INFJ or INFP.

MK: MK was the biggest change from his canon personality. He is your precious little ENFJ who wants to help everyone and anyone, no matter who or what they are. He's so overly conscious of everyone's feelings, but he doesn't fully know the steps to take. He's also an overachiever, afraid to disappoint his fiends, his family. He wants so much for so little in return, selfless to a fault if it means that no one has to fight anymore. Granted, he will fight if he has to. He still wants to be a hero, after all! Just like Monkey King! But his view of Wukong's life was very much through rose tinted glasses and the only way for him to truly understand what kind of life he's going to lead would have to be learned through the hard way. Even if he's smarter than he lets others think, and is wise for his young age, he is still just a boy who's only 18 years old. So his views of the world will seem much more innocent and naive than that of Wukong, Macaque, or Reader's for example.

Mei: Mei was also someone who had a big re-write for her stuff. Mei is your undeveloped ENFP who can be conscious of other people's feelings, but it's unintentionally self-centered where she worries about the perspective of others towards herself. It's not in a negative sense, mind, but it is why she often misunderstands things. With this, she's also lived a life very different from the rest of the cast. She's a caged bird who was never able to see past the walls made for her, and never bothered to look past them either until most recently. She's rebellious and loud, but also quick to shrink at any sign of negativity towards her. She's confident but also unsure. She wants to be there for her friends, but doesn't know how. Mei holds the same innocence as MK does when it comes to the world, but it's in a more sense of "bad guys need to get beaten up, and we (the heroes!) are meant to beat them up!" Rather than trying to find an alternative route. She is very much a "shoot first ask questions later" type of gal, not often thinking deeper than surface level, and needs to work on that.

Reader "Nibby": Now, with the reader insert, I always make a small list of things for them starting out, and go from there. With Nibby, for example, the first thing I wanted to put down was "what happened to them before they arrived in China?" The trauma they experienced in America before moving in with their uncle has left them reflexively putting people at arm's length. It's also left them paranoid of their own powers acting up at the worst times. They're essentially a feral cat who was shown so much abuse they almost forgot what kindness looks like. They're just as conscious of other people's feelings, but scarcely their own. They learned to be an observer of others to make sure they can find danger and plan appropriately. They learned to not trust certain people with their feelings because they can't handle the baggage they carry--aside from their own uncle. Hence why they're hesitant to talk about themselves, or let the spotlight be on them. Despite this, they do have a gentle side they show to the younger cast (ofc being Mei and MK), even if it's a bit rough at times. They're fiercely loyal and are quite literally a ride or die kind of friend. When you achieve friendship with them, it'll be hard to get rid of them. I would say they are an INTJ but their EF (extroverted feeling) is pretty strong, allowing them to better get a read on people's feelings.

With that, we can go into the next section! Which iiiiis planning the Reader's placement in the story!

Starting off, one thing I learned through both writing fanfiction and being a DM for D&D, is how to make the Reader feel like they're part of the world and not just some random nobody who gets dropped into a world and is just reacting to everything instead of actively making a difference.

When I'm writing a fanfiction, I have a list of questions I usually ask myself:

How do I want to incorporate Reader into the world?

How can I make Reader feel like they're part of the world?

What significant changes to canon would they make so it doesn't fell like they're "just there" while the canon scenario happens?

How would Reader act during certain events?

How would Reader treat certain characters and vice versa? What is their relationship starting out and would it grow from there?

It's definitely very apparent in TIaF that Nibby (our Reader-Insert) makes active changes to canon. The prime example being when Wukong makes his first appearance, as well as Macaque's own entrance! The order of the things that happened are different, and some are nixed while others are completely re-written.

This all comes back to the personality given to our Reader-Insert. Nibby, especially when they've committed to something, is not someone to just sit back and watch the fireworks go off. They're either the one helping light the firework, or moving them to a safer location to avoid forest fires.

One thing I've noticed in a lot of fanfictions (not just in LMK, but in plenty of other fandoms) is that people have a tendency to just copy+paste canon with the Reader slapped in there as another person reacting to it all. It just feels like we're watching the show all over again, but with an added side-character that has little to no voice to make a change.

It's my own personal opinion, but if you're going to put in a Reader-Insert, it's important to think about what significant changes will be made with said insert being brought into the picture so it doesn't feel like you're just sitting on a Disney ride watching the same characters act the same way over and over again.

Once this is all established, we can finally go into the next step: Planning chapters!

This will be a short section, because I will tell you right now.... I almost never stick to what I write down when planning chapters. However, I'll still provide an example screenshot for what I've written for the first bit!

One thing that's helped me get a nice feel for the flow of the chapters is something I actually learned from my wonderful sibling Cuddlefishie, and that's writing the planning layout like this:

Arc - Whatever significant event that happens - Plot 1: Establishing the setting for event about to happen significant to the arc - Plot 2: The buildup to the event - Plot 3: Event happening, aftermath of event and downtime - Plot 4: Buildup to the next arc

It doesn't have to be in that order, each plot section can just be something significant happening within the arc before we move onto the next plot section.

Example (Note please don't try to read the text I had to make it smaller to fit everything into the screenshot and also blacked out the last bit bc SPOILERS):

If you're caught up with my fic, you can already see that I have not fully followed my own planning for this aside from like chapters 1-10 X"D

I don't know how to explain it and it's not meant to toot my own horn, but I very easily remember what I want to put within each chapter without having to write it down. That does not mean this works for everyone, I highly encourage writing it down so it's easier for you to remember what you want to put into the fic.

But also don't feel bad if you can't fit everything you wanna fit! The chapter "Broken Pieces" is one I wasn't even able to put in at the time I wanted, but that doesn't mean it's not going to happen! It'll just be at a later date.

The final point I put into this very long section is this: Get a beta-reader/someone you trust who can help you write the fic.

Yeah, yeah, the whole "no beta we die like X" is funny and all. But it's so helpful to have someone to bounce your ideas with and to help you plan. I am blessed with my wonderful sibling Cuddles to help me with plot points, and even writing specific character thoughts because they are able to think of stuff that didn't even cross my mind.

It's because of the second opinion that I'm able to get my writing smoothed out to make it look so pristine and flowy and real. Cuddles bounces ideas with me and I bounce ideas with them, and we agree certain plot points aren't needed while others can wait, and some can be revealed within the next chapter.

It also helps to have someone who can look at your stuff who has an understanding of how specific things work, how certain characters work (Cuddles has helped me so hard with how Macaque and Uncle Zan's head works you have no idea), and a better description/rewording for specific scenes. It's literally because of Cuddles that I was able to see how often I write certain phrases X"D

So GET YOURSELF A BETA-READER!!!

And make sure they're not afraid to tell you what feels off and what looks good. Finding a good beta-reader/idea bouncer is important, as you need to make sure you can trust them with providing constructive criticism and offering suggestions for ideas or even offering ideas of their own. They're helping you make your fic a reality, after all!

Now comes the moment we've all been waiting for...

Writing the Fanfic

One important thing I urge to do is to try not to fit so many plot points into one chapter. It can cause information overload and confuse your readers and leave them scrambling to hold all the information given to them--especially if you're gonna end up writing like 10k words or more per chapter!

Don't be afraid to cut the chapter early if you need to. There is no shame in moving what you originally wanted in chapter 5 to be in chapter 6 or even chapter 10 instead because it would make it flow better.

For example: As you can see in the example screenshot, I originally planned the Oracle Cards to awaken for Nibby much earlier. But after reviewing it, Cuddles and I agreed it didn't make too much sense for them to awaken for Nibby right now, and would be better if it was done later at a more significant point.

Hell, there was a whole ass conversation I originally wanted to put into chapter 12 or 13 that I chose to save for later because it didn't make sense to put in there at the moment!

Now for the next point, this is more of a personal gripe I've always had in literally any fanfic I have ever read no matter the fandom, and it's changing the point of views.

Point of views are important to establish when in writing. Who's eyes are we looking through in this scene or this chapter or this entire fic? When we're in that person's point of view, we know what they're thinking, how they're feeling, everything.

My advise to you is this: Do not abuse the point of views.

Constantly changing it every paragraph can and will get disorienting for readers and in all honesty, it just does not flow well at all. This is a common thing I've seen in a lot of fics in my time: the POV constantly being changed so we know what everyone is thinking at the exact moment. My opinion?

Don't do it.

Stick to one POV for a little while, guys. Just do it. It's okay if we don't know what the coffee maker is thinking at the exact moment, they probably are just thinking about how much they wanna go take a nap and feed their pet bird or something.

I say again: Pick a POV and stick with it for a little while. Don't change it every paragraph or every other paragraph. If you want to change it, at least make it clear that a POV change is happening.

For example: I use these "————" to indicate a change in POV is happening in the middle of a chapter. If it's at the start of a chapter, I make sure people know almost instantly who's POV we're entering and sticking with for a little while.

It is okay if the readers don't immediately know what the other characters are thinking. The mystery of what's going through someone's head is half the fun!

Nibby in TIaF is good at reading others, but not great at it. They can't instantly surmise what someone is thinking or feeling just from a glance. They're not a mind reader. The same goes for everyone else in the fic. Literally the only one who knows how people work is Zan and that's because he's a damn therapist, and even then he never jumps to conclusions until he has concrete evidence to back his theories.

Keep the mystery, kids. It's half the fun of watching your readers wonder what other characters are thinking.

Now I'm not saying changing POV is bad. It's perfectly fine! However, much like chocolate, too much of it isn't good. It gets disorienting, confusing, and (in my opinion) frustrating because we can't stick with just one person for a couple of paragraphs.

It also becomes harder to relate to the character, to feel for that character, or even just further hate the character when the POV is constantly getting changed left and right. Don't be afraid to stick with one person for a while, but don't be afraid to change it up if you want to!

It's a tough thing to balance. Trust me, it took me years to get to where I am as a writer and I still have a lot to learn. It'll get frustrating, but you just gotta have patience and the willing to want to learn and change to grow as a writer!

That's about all I can think of right now... SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG-WINDED GOSH IOVJEOIRVJER

If you end up having more questions or would like me to specify on anything, feel free to let me know! And I hope these points were helpful to you!! <3 <3 <3

[mlobsters]

supernatural s4e18 the monster at the end of this book (teleplay julie siege, story julie siege, nancy weiner)

ack, it's samantha! in a 30 second cameo.

the x-files s2e17 end game - megan leitch as samantha mulder

aforementioned keegan connor tracy who was on the show before that i know from the magicians.

i have an aversion to their ~quirky~ music because usually it's a type of humor that makes me grind my teeth but once we got past the whole talking about dirty incest fans and the thing with the book publisher, it's been surprisingly ok. glad they mostly transitioned to digs aimed at the show itself. but every time that music starts playing, i brace for the worst. i also just don't love the composed music for the show, i think it does it a disservice. i probably have complained about that before.

like okay dean needs to get chuck to participate in the archangel spooking lilith plan and it's all been very serious up until this point, but then the music goes to the cheesy rousing inspirational business which makes it feel very much like it's a joke. and it does go a little funny, but i think the music was too much. bleh. anyway.

i feel like i've seen him in a bunch of things but scrolling through i'll say evil is probably the only thing i've seen him in recent memory. should have gotten a cap from the previous episode with the bright lighting.

evil s1e5 october 31 - kurt fuller as dr kurt boggs

the tone on this episode was all over the place! my friend is eagerly, patiently, waiting for me to have an opinion on castiel and i'm eagerly awaiting having one. i feel like there was a bit more something happening with him and dean in this episode, giving him the tip about chuck. otherwise he just hasn't been around enough for me to have any thoughts, and he's pretty dry when he is. dry like his lips! get the dude a manual on how to care for your human suit. with some lip balm.

also, the winchester gospel. the guffaw i made, okay spn writers. i liked chuck, and didn't expect to. maybe it was another case of them making the writer(s) sympathetic. but i'm glad they didn't try to ham it up too much. i get that the concept of introducing the books would be hard to do in any serious manner, but i could have gone without the fannish specific bits personally.

also ALSO using the previous episode to kind of quickly temper the truly horrific over the top terrible events in the Torture Episode and then this one kind of easing more into the main arc and being serious but not too serious, well. was zachariah doing his little demo to dean that he'll always be a hunter deep down all we needed to address with that episode? other than sam bitching dean isn't himself and is too weak since he got back from hell.

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out."

i mean as far as i can tell, nothing really changed with dean. does starting the apocalypse-guilt cancel out embracing/enjoying torture again that you're also probably extra guilty about too?

there's not enough time in the day to deal with it anyhow and we've got plot to plow through. the apocalypse isn't gonna start itself!

i was trying to talk it through with someone and my feeling was like. earlier seasons, the traumas were smaller. sam and dean talked a lot. more than most shows do. it feel like things maybe didn't get resolved per se, but there was something going on there. they were looking at it, at least. and some things did get wholly dropped (like the mystery spot aftermath hello, bitter) but more often than not, it felt like they dealt with things. but the traumas get bigger and coming so fast, you can't keep up, there's not enough time. everything is always escalating. and i think it's exacerbated by the plot that sam and dean aren't really on the same page anymore. and maybe cas is supposed to fill that spot with dean, but it's a hard sell for me when we don't really know cas and at this point he has no personality to speak of.

i'm just feeling pretty grumpy about everything at the moment.

[barnesbabee]

collab || J.Y

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ 2 - ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴍ.ʟɪꜱᴛ

Summary: Two famous porn stars have a fun collab together.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x gn!reader

Words: Just enough

⚠ although there is no mention of gender, the reader wears makeup and lingerie, so if you are uncomfortable with that, don't read  ⚠

As Yunho dried his hair with a small towel, he heard the familiar ding sound from his social media. He had just finished uploading the edited version of his live stream, so it wasn't unusual for him to be contacted by a bunch of people right after, however, he didn't expect to see you.

You weren't well known in the porn scenario, as you were fairly new and the competition was vast, but your 'Around The World' series had become a huge success and a major hit for its originality.

Yunho was quite a fan of the series, so when he saw your message, his fingers were crossed.

Y/N: Hello! My name is Y/N, I'm not sure if you know my work, but I am a porn star that is currently doing a series called 'Around The World' where I... well, fuck people all around the world. My next stop is South Korea and I have seen your work before and I think our style is very similar and I would love to do a collab with you! Feel free to check out my work on my page, I hope to hear from you soon! xoxo

The tall man squealed like a high schooler getting a text from his crush, he's always wanted a collab and now he was about to get one in one of the biggest series of the moment!

Yunhxxx: Hello Y/N! I am aware of your series and I am a fan! I would love to do the collab with you! I'll send you my number so we can talk about the details more comfortably :)

Part of your anxiousness died down at his response. Most porn stars were very polite and kind in front of the camera, and in business discussion, all for that quick buck, but you'd find, with your series, that a lot of them were just assholes with a huge ego. You had a good feeling about Yunho, but you didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed.

The arrangements didn't take long, as you were both excited for the collab to happen, making it very easy to communicate. Yunho was kind enough to offer his own home for you to sleep in, arguing that 'whoever fucks me gets to sleep in my house for free'.

Yunho spent the weekend preparing everything for your arrival on Monday morning: he cleaned his whole house, stocked his fridge and cabinets with all sorts of food, and sanitized every toy of his. By the time he received your 'I'm on my way!' text, his house was the cleanest it had ever been.

The man showered, put on his best cologne, and applied some dark eyeshadow under his eyes. As he stood in front of the closet in his briefs only, he wondered what he should go for. A sophisticated look? A sexy look? An outlaw-looking look? He wanted something to get you immediately attracted to him. Yunho wanted to make you feel good, not to make you act as if you felt good.

Ultimately he chose a black button-up and black suit pants. He decorated his long fingers (that he had come to learn was something many people liked about him) and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

Yunho was aware of his innocent appearance. He had had his cheeks squeezed one too many times, so he caught on quickly. However, the man loved to play with his looks. He loved to make people wonder what kind of person he was, with a cute face, yet an intimidating look.

Before he knew it, his doorbell rang. Yunho took one last look in the mirror, just to make sure everything was in its place and walked towards the door. The first hello wasn't awkward at all, as you'd already had a few zoom calls to discuss what would happen in your collab, just to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

Once you stepped in with your suitcase, you couldn't help but notice how neat, modern, and well decorated his house was. The walls were white with big windows, and the furniture was a mix of grey, light blue, and white. Yunho lead you to the guest room where you'd be staying, and it was a lot nicer than you expected. The bed was high and large, the duvet was grey with a bunch of fluffy white and red pillows decorating it. In front of the bed was a modern black vanity with lightbulbs around the squared mirror, and against the wall in front of the door was a black, sliding door wardrobe, with a large, orange, and red abstract painting of a couple. His house looked simple yet classy, with just the right amount of colour and decoration. You took a look at him, his dark look contrasting the house.

"You already got prepared?"

Yunho looked a little puzzled for a second, but then understood. "Oh! Oh no, you've just arrived, you must be tired! This is just... how I dress?" He said, feeling a little embarrassed.

You took a good look at his outfit.

"You always dress like that? Wow..."

Yunho's cheeks became a little red at the comment, and he stumbled over his words as he thanked you. He was used to receiving compliments when he had his clothes off, but with clothes on? Not so much... Before closing the door, Yunho told you to feel at home, and that when you were ready you could start setting everything up in the room he used to shoot.

The man had never felt that nervous, so when he finally closed the door, he immediately headed to his living room, and found the whiskey bottle he kept for emergencies. He poured a generous glass and sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as he waited for you.

You were pretty much used to the routine, and since you had a stopover in a neighboring country and spent the night there, the trip hadn't been too tiring. You sat on the very convenient vanity and re-did your makeup. You liked to match your look to your type of content, so you went for a dark look: dark purple lipstick, a heavy, black smokey eye, and loads of mascara. You made sure to apply a lot, so it would run down your face and give the viewers the fucked out look they loved to see.

The lingerie matched your makeup: black lace lingerie with some bling here and there, and a garter belt to accessorize. You grabbed your robe from your suitcase and exited the room.

"Yunho?" You called, peeking your head from behind the wall.

"Hm?"

His eyes widened when he looked up. You were completely different from the person he had met.

"I am ready if you are!"

He nodded and stood up, downing the rest of his 2nd whiskey cup in one go. Yunho took you upstairs and opened the door to his 'studio'.

In the center of the room was a carpet, and a big, empty space behind it.

"I usually move the bed or the couch over there, depending on what I want to do that day. I found that it was easier to move the furniture than the whole set up." He explained, pointing at the empty space.

Against the wall, opposite of you, there was a bed, much like the one on your bedroom, and a nice, black leather couch. Beside you there was a closet, where Yunho kept all his toys, accessories, and streaming outfits. Other than that it was just the usual setup: a desk with a computer, professional lights, and a camera.

Yunho walked over to the couch and moved it with ease to the empty space.

"So we've already decided?" You asked.

The man smirked as if simply entering the room turned him into a completely different person.

"I already have everything planned out for you dear, it would be rude to have my guests work."

You blushed slightly, and sat on the couch, waiting for the green light.

You watched as he opened the closet, displaying his wide collection. He picked a bunch of stuff that he set on top of a towel on the floor.

"Alright, that's about it."

You cocked your head to the side, in confusion.

"You're not getting dressed?"

Yunho reached for the choker he had brought and softly placed it around your neck, tying it just tight enough. He hooked his finger on the big metal ring on the front and tugged on it. You followed his silent command and knelt on the ground, in front of the couch.

"I'm already dressed, for the concept we're gonna try."

You were getting curious and excited. You stayed still as he started up the live stream. Yunho turned on the lights, set up the camera, and pressed 'Start Live Video'. The screen counted down from five, until the live started.

Yunho sat on the couch behind you, and placed his large hand on your head.

The man smirked as soon as the comments started raining.

There was a mixture of fuck yeah's and happy cheers as they recognized Yunho, and became excited for what was to come. The live was obviously happening on your account, although you would always split the tips with the person you worked with.

"Hello," Yunho started, and you let him take the lead "welcome to the 24th edition of Around The World, I am today's guest, and we have such a great show for you today, don't we?"

Yunho tugged on your hair, making you wince. You looked at the camera and nodded.

The 30 dollar donation ding sounded, announcing that someone had made a request.

'Make her sit on your thigh'

You let Yunho take the lead once more, hooking his finger on your choker's hoop and pulling you up, to sit on his thigh. You hummed as you rolled your hips, causing friction between your core and his thigh. Your hand ran along his torso, feeling the fabric of his shirt.

"He has too many clothes, don't you think?" You asked the camera, in a flirty tone.

There was a rain of comments agreeing with you, and you immediately got to work, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. His dick print was already very visible in his pants, and you could now understand why he wanted to wear that look.

You removed his shirt, slowly and teasingly, as the viewers praised Yunho's toned body.

The male hooked his finger on your underwear and snapped it against your skin. Your little whimper at the sudden pain made him smirk.

Yunho ran his hands along your body, making you shiver from the cold metal of his rings.

Tips and donations rained down with many requests, and so you went back on the floor and laid your head on Yunho's thigh, your face mere inches away from his hard-on. You perked your ass up and traced the shape of his cock with your finger.

"What do you think? Should we reward them?" Yunho asked, petting your head as he stared into the camera.

As expected, everyone gave you the green light to continue, so you slowly opened his fly, to find he had no underwear on. You freed him from his pants, gripping his length in your hand. You kept eye contact with the male, and although you were a professional, you were always nervous when you had to take dicks on the bigger side.

You spat on his tip, and played with his cock for a second, before slowly inserting it in your mouth. Yunho groaned and threw his head back, taking in the warmth of your mouth. His hand was tangled in your hear, gripping it and tugging on it from time to time.

"Shit, you're doing so good..."

Yunho was very vocal, to your (and the viewer's) pleasure.

The 50$ notification ding sounded, and a message played right after.

'bby I wanna see you jump on his cock'

Yunho smirked and gripped your hair, in a firm, yet not painful way. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, cleaning the remaining saliva.

"Hmm, you know what, so do I."

You stripped from your underwear, in a sensual way for the viewers (and Yunho) to enjoy.

Yunho slapped his thigh, and you climbed onto his lap, slowly but surely sinking down on his length. You gripped onto his shoulders for stability and groaned as every inch of his cock disappeared inside of you.

His hands gripped your ass, spreading your cheeks in a beautiful way for the camera to see. The male helped you, as you rode him, not only by holding your hips and guiding you, but also by snapping his hips up against yours. Filthy slapping sounds along with the mixture of your moans echoed in the room, and the donations were reaching their peak.

"F-fuck baby you're s-so good, you're doing so well."

You gripped his shoulders harder, as his praises drew you closer and closer to your edge.

"They're c-close! Should we l-let them cum?"

It was impressive how professional Yunho was. How he looked so immersed in you, so tired and fucked out, with his fringe sticking to his forehead and eyes burning into your soul, yet he didn't forget to interact with the viewers.

There were many people leaning towards yes, begging to hear the way you sounded as you came, and so he worked hard until you screamed his name and tightened around his cock. He let you rest and recompose for a second, but the way you clenched around him made it impossible for him to hold it in any longer.

"Shit, get on the ground."

You gladly complied, and got on your knees for him, immediately sticking out your tongue, as you could predict what would come after.

Yunho jerked himself off to your fucked out face, and soon a string of curses came out of his mouth, as he spilled all over your face. He smirked and wiped some of his cum off of your face with his thumb.

"Say ah, pretty baby."

You smiled and opened your mouth. He inserted his finger in your mouth and you happily licked it clean.

Yunho cupped your face with his hand, and smiled.

"You behaved so well, I might have to reward you again."

His head tilted to the side, pointing to the couch, and you followed. You sat down on the couch, and Yunho knelt in front of you. His arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you forward, so your hole would be of easy access to him.

The man teased you, as his tongue danced around your hole, not quite getting where you wanted him. You rolled your hips up, earning a slap to your inner thigh.

He looked up at you, with a hint of darkness in his eyes.

"Behave."

It didn't take long for you to get what you wanted, as he started tongue fucking you, with the help of his fingers. You gripped his hair, and your back arched as your high approached once more.

You came quickly, with his tongue still inside you, and he held your trembling legs and body, to keep you stable.

He didn't move for a second, giving you time to breathe and rest. After you had recomposed yourself, he helped you up, and the two of you shared a heated kiss, Yunho's hands never leaving your ass, that he definitely had a fixation with.

You finished the stream by thanking the viewers and donors and shut everything off. Once everything was done, you sighed and plopped onto the couch.

"Do you not want to shower?" Yunho questioned, as he saw the mess in your face and body.

You chuckled.

"Yes I do, very much, but I'm so fucked out..."

Yunho very kindly scooped you up.

"Well, I wouldn't want my guest to work too hard, I'll help you out."

[aetheternity]

Hard pass 2 (Levi x Reader)

I'm a little concerned about how little time I took on the ending for the last part so I'm gonna put a little more time into this one. Hope you guys enjoy. :)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

Levi was transfixed to say the least. He'd spent the past hour that he'd been back in his dorm room staring into a freshly made cup of black tea. The small jingling of keys in the door shaking him from his daze.

"Hello, Hello Leviathan." Mike greeted, tossing his bag to the side haphazardly.

Any other time Levi would've rolled his eyes but he just let out an agitated huff.

"Uh oh.. I know that look." Mike announced plopping down onto his unmade bed. "Who's the lucky girl?" He asked his smirk bright.

Levi's hair whipped against his cheek as he turned to Mike. "What are you on about? Who told you?" Probably Hange. Damn four eyes could never keep her mouth shut.

"No one had to." Mike laughed "You've just told me basically everything I need to know. Your distracted gaze when I came in the room, having very little reaction to me calling you Leviathan, your tea cup is still full and my side of the room is still messy." He seemed a little too pleased about that last bit.

"I know you went out tonight." He continued

"And what about it?"

"Who is she?!" Mike stood coming closer to sit on the edge of Levi's desk.

Levi rolled his eyes setting his cup down.

"Come on, I'm curious about some mysterious girl that has Levi Ackerman wrapped around her finger."

"Just shut up already." Levi replied turning his gaze to the window with a small pout.

"Fine, fine I'll shut up." Mike stood heading back towards his side of the room. An idea suddenly popped into his mind and he turned on his heel. "But.. I think I'll give Hange a call. You know.. cause I haven't talked to her in a bit-"

"When did you become so annoying?" Levi grumbled

"You're more aggressive tonight I like it. Is it because of her?"

As much as Levi wanted to fight it, Mike was one of those people that always got information about literally anything if he genuinely wanted it. Even if he didn't find out from Hange or Levi he was definitely going to find out from even the weirdest sources.

"Hange's friend.. she's not ugly I guess.." Levi could feel his face growing warm and he pulled his feet up onto his desk chair to hide it.

Mike laughed obnoxiously, "It's like watching a little kid finding out what a crush is." He chuckled "Super cute. So when are you going to ask her out?"

"Never."

Mike crossed the room again, seating himself on his bed. "You can't be serious! This is the first time I've ever seen you interested in girls and you're just gonna let her get away?"

"Stay out of my business, Michelangelo."

Mike just huffed reaching into his pocket to pry his phone out of his pocket. The room quickly grew quiet as Levi turned to his laptop though he was quickly distracted again by Mike's little chuckles. He turned his head in Mike's direction quickly catching the other male's gaze.

"By the way, Hange agrees with me." He said pointing to his phone.

Levi groaned, tugging at his hair. "Eat shit."

~ ~ ~ ~

Levi stared down at his watch with a soft tch.

It was 4pm and Hange was late again. He turned to Erwin who's face was currently pressed into a book. Thumb sliding along the sentences as he read.

"Where the hell is she?" He grumbled, shaking his mouse back and forth as the screen began to dim.

"She said she had to do something after class so she'd be a little late." Erwin replied, without looking up from his book.

"That's her excuse every time." Levi replied with a roll of his eyes.

Erwin just shrugged. Hange was always late. Sometimes she just showed up 30 minutes late with no real explanation and sometimes she showed up an hour late saying she had, had something to do after class. But every time the three of them got together to study she was late.

"Yo! Levi!" Hange greeted as she walked into the library ignoring the chorus of shushing that followed her.

Levi's scowl deepened, "Were you stuck on the toilet waiting for someone to fuck off?" He asked

"I have a great surprise follow me." She clapped in delight.

Erwin looked to Levi and then in the direction Hange had left in. He slowly pushed his chair out looking at Levi's irritated scowl.

"Are you coming."

"Whatever it is, is definitely stupid knowing Hange." Levi retorted, packing his belongings up in an orderly fashion.

The two of them quickly left before Hange could come back to ruin the peace again. They pushed through the library doors and standing against the wall with a somewhat bashful expression was Y/N with Hange who smiled brightly as if she wasn't currently disturbing Levi's peace.

"Oh hello Y/N." Erwin greeted, he looked over at Levi before asking. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh well Hange invited-"

"Ah ha ha! Y/N has homework to do so I figured she could come study with us. Though today me and Erwin have a thing." She quickly grabbed Erwin's arm yanking him over to her.

"But I was-" Erwin tried but was instantly silenced by Hange's hand over his mouth.

"You and Levi can study. Levi's great with everything! Right Levi? Ok me and Erwin will go now, by you two!"

"Hange!" Levi tried, his face already flushed with heat over the whole situation. Hange was surprisingly fast though, managing to drag Erwin away so quick they were a couple of dots within seconds.

Levi and Y/N stood in silence for a couple seconds before Y/N let out a deep exhale. "I feel as though we've been set up." She says, toying with the zippers on her back.

Levi can only manage a grunt in reply. Not daring to look into her eyes. "Well I mean.." she starts turning to Levi. "I actually do.. have to study so.. I wouldn't mind if you don't." She shrugged

"Mm.." Levi pulled open the library door for Y/N and lead her over the seats that him and Erwin had been sitting in only moments before.

He made a mental note as he opened his laptop again to keep the door locked next time Hange said she was coming over. Around 10 minutes went by of complete silence and Levi was incredibly happy for it.

Not because he was focusing, no his attention had been completely taken away from any possible work he could've gotten done here. There was no way he was actually going to be able to do anything when your scent was trapped in his nose and his eyes kept staring over his screen at your fingers.

Knuckles that Levi honestly wanted to kiss and fingernails completely devoid of dirt which Levi was instantly captivated by.

"Hey-"

He sat up straight, his own hands slightly curling around the aged wood of the table. Your book came sliding toward him and he looked down at it before looking back at you.

"I don't really get this? Could you help me a bit?"

Levi nodded before his brain could properly process what you'd asked. He almost thought he imagined the way your lip tucked itself under your teeth. And he felt dazed as your scent washed over him all at once as you slid into the seat next to him.

You pointed to your book and Levi tried to pay attention to your question but your notes threw him a bit. All the words were written in different colors and there were squiggly lines around definitions and texts. Small doodles between paragraphs as a way to properly space them and stars next to the most important words.

You scratched at your scalp and he took notice. "I paid attention when my professor was going over this I swear. But I don't really get it?? It can't be as difficult as I'm making it in my head." Your giggle of nervousness took Levi back a little.

The warm pit in his chest deepened and he sighed, trying to accurately assess the situation.

"Y-you made a small.. mathematical error." He explained, his fingers pointed to the equation as he tried to push away the ball in his throat. "You don't need these numbers."

Her smile hit Levi like a truck as it was instantly directed towards him. "Ah, you're so smart." Y/N said "What about this? I checked with the calculator but my answer was way off."

It was hard for Levi to ignore the way your shoulder rubbed up against his sending sparks all through his body like a tidal wave. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

"Oh sorry, am I too close?" You moved away and Levi gulped. He stared at your fingers, he didn't want you to move away.

He was surprised when he looked up and instantly made eye contact with you. "Stay." It probably didn't come out the way he'd wanted but he'd managed it and on some level he was proud of himself.

You smiled, "Sure."

After a while Levi felt himself loosen up a bit but the knot in his stomach was still very much there and alive. He found himself chuckling at your little jokes and he was mostly able to look you in the eyes. (As long as you didn't smile directly at him).

The first hour had been studying with small quips from your end that Levi found he enjoyed. Though around the third hour it turned into horror stories about present and past roommates.

Your laugh was so bright as you tapped your pen cap against the table. "And then Sasha just cracks the window open though it's definitely too late cause Connie had already created a war zone in our room." You were shaking so much from laughter that Levi was honestly a little worried you'd fall out of your chair.

He shook his head where he was resting it in his palm. "I still think Mike forgetting the do not disturb sign was worse." He shrugged

"Mm well maybe someday I'll have a story that bad. Considering Connie and Sasha have been playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse for two years now."

Levi shook his head. "You don't want to walk in on your roommate having sex. No one does.."

He felt his cheeks flush over again. Whether it was from the story or the way you'd playfully pushed his shoulder though he couldn't tell. He watched as you positioned yourself back in the seat next to him.

"Ok, ok. You told me about your roommates relationships. Now tell me about yours."

"What?"

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. "You know the in and out of Levi. I'm curious."

Levi's gaze fell to the table. "There's nothing to tell."

Y/N's voice immediately softened. "Sorry, didn't mean to try and pull it out of you."

Levi picked up his head closing his laptop. "I-I just.. never felt that way.." he tried

"Not everyone goes to college and high school and stuff for the parties, drugs and sex." You said, laying your elbows against the desk. "I commend you for having a goal and sticking with it."

Levi's heart stuttered at your words. "Did you come.. or well.. umm? What did you-"

He was interrupted by your hand on his shoulder again. "To answer your question." You leaned in closer your breath tickling Levi's earlobe. "Yes I did come specifically for the drugs."

Levi's eyes practically bulged out of his head. This time when you laughed you were met with shushing and stares. "Sorry." You whispered, popping a hand over your mouth. "I'm completely joking." You then said to Levi who's shoulders relaxed with the information.

Levi's signature deadpanned expression was starting to make an appearance now. "That's not funny."

"Hmm.. well I'm laughing so." Y/N laid her head on the table.

"Your humor is shit." He said

"Funny you say that." She laughed back a smirk was playing at Levi's lips. "Hey." Y/N broke the lingering silence.

"What?"

"Give me your number."

"Tch, nice way to ask."

Y/N pretended to be shocked. "Oh, would you prefer I beg?"

Levi already knew how red his entire face had become. No need to check a mirror. "H-hand me your p-phone."

Unsurprisingly even her phone wa as cute. And Levi honestly wanted to admire the case and how warm it felt after being in your pockets. Oh.. you'd touched it with your warm hands. Levi couldn't help but think about how warm your hands must feel. How the spaces between your fingers looked so perfect. Like they-

"Hey." A voice shook Y/N and Levi.

"Jean, what're you doing here?" Y/N asked as she stood moving closer to him.

"You've been gone all day. I had to ask Sasha where you were."

"No, you didn't because you didn't need to come here." Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, pulling her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie. Her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Who's this?" Jean asked gesturing to Levi with his head. Levi felt his chest flare a little.

"Ugh, it doesn't matter because it has nothing to do with you!" She quickly grabbed her bag stuffing her notebook inside. "I'll talk to you later Levi." She explained her face still completely unamused. And with that she was pushing Jean out the door following him right out.

Levi's fingers dug into his palm. Who was that? It couldn't have been her boyfriend right? No, no that didn't make sense.

He started to pack up himself when he noticed your pretty phone sat next to his ordinary black one.

~ ~ ~ ~

Levi practically slammed into his dorm room scaring Mike who had his music blasting. Levi set his bag down on his chair, placing his phone on the desk.

"Hey man." Mike greeted as Levi quickly unpacked his other stuff. "I heard Hange forced you to go on a study date."

"I'm going to murder her." Levi turned, practically slamming his notebook into the desk. So hard that he could've sworn Mike jumped.

"Yeah what else is new?" He laughed trying to clear the air. "But did you at least get in close?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "She's.. there's this guy.."

Mike grew quiet for a few seconds. "You think she's with him?"

Levi normally wouldn't indulge Mike like this but his chest felt so tight that he was pretty sure he was going to burst. "She didn't seem happy to see him. She was like rolling her eyes when he came."

"Maybe he's just some guy then?"

"What if he isn't?"

"By the way you're describing it they'll break up soon anyway." Mike said "But that's great my plan worked."

Levi narrowed his eyes, "The library thing was you?"

Mike shrugged, "Hey, It could've been worse! Hange wanted to lock you guys in a supply closet for the night."

"Sleep with one eye open." Levi huffed, placing your phone down on his desk.

Mike immediately noticed, sitting up and placing his own phone to the side. "Don't tell me you murdered her and stole her phone for having a boyfriend that wasn't you." He chuckled

"Tch, she accidentally left it."

"How are you gonna return it?"

"I'll ask Hange for her dorm number tomorrow and I'll hand it over then."

"Ooo, well I would tell you not to go looking through her phone while you have it. But you're not like me so.." Mike shrugged, laying down with both hands holding his phone above his head.

Levi looked at Mike and then at your phone sitting on his desk. He silently looked away, putting away the rest of his stuff with a huff.

[mcwriting]

Lost in Rome

hello, friends! Ever since "La Vita Dolce," I've wanted to write something else involving Italy and at least one Italian phrase, and so this lil story was born! Hope you all enjoy!

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1488

Warnings: mentions of drinking, vv slight language

★

You had been walking around Rome for what felt like an eternity.

(It had only been like 30 minutes)

You knew the bar was right near Piazza Navona, but you'd only been to that part of the city one other time, having been staying south on the other side of the river in Trastevere.

You felt embarrassed knowing you were dragging your friends around the city without much of a guide, but you were too stubborn to admit that you were actually lost.

"Maybe we should've gone to Bar San Calisto again. It was cheap and close but noooo. I just had to look up a 'best bars in Rome' list" you thought as you continued to trudge on.

Not only were you lost, but you also didn't have the ability to look up where you were going, since you'd decided to go cheap and not buy an international plan or a vpn, choosing to only using wifi so you'd "stay in the moment."

That moment seemed stupid now that every marble wall and cobblestone street started to meld together in your brain as it continued to darken.

A trip to Rome was something you'd been wanting to do for years, so when your university offered up the chance to go study abroad for 4 weeks, you immediately began scrounging up the funds to go, even scoring a scholarship based on the fact that you'd taken Italian classes in school.

You'd only been there a week but thankfully had bonded with your roommate before even going, having struck up a conversation at the informational meeting the semester before. Since then, you had also bonded with those in the room next door, them sticking to you as their translator.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore, stopping.

"Okay, look, guys. I'm really sorry but I literally have no idea where we are," you admitted, feeling guilty. Everyone else smiled.

"That's okay! This place is beautiful! I'm sure we'll find it eventually," your roommate, Olivia, said.

"Yeah. Didn't you say it was at Piazza Navona?" Aaron, one of your neighbors, asked. You nodded. "Well as long as we can find that, then we're basically there!"

After some wandering, your group found itself in the square in front of the Pantheon, which was a step in the right direction, but you were determined to actually find the right place.

There was a hotel right there, so you quickly stepped in to ask the desk worker to point you towards the Piazza, who explained that it was only a couple streets East of where you were.

Relieved, you and your friends quickly walked that way, breathing out a collective sigh when you walked into the giant open square, looking around at the familiar structures from the second day of class when you'd toured the area.

"Sooo... where's this bar?" Aaron's roommate Joseph asked.

You all circled the square from the inside and out a couple times, not seeing any signs with the name "Bar del Fico Roma" anywhere.

Dread started to wash over you as you realized the website must not have meant the bar was actually on the square, but was somewhere nearby. You felt stupid for not screenshotting the website page or, you know, actually looking it up first.

"Fine, that's it! I'm marching up to the next person I see and asking where this darn place is. We've made it this far!" you said, exasperated.

The first thing that caught your eye was a group of people who looked close to your age, talking in a small group. They were pretty well dressed, typical of a young Italian, so you immediately started over towards them, expecting them to be the most helpful in giving directions.

"Wait, y/n!" Olivia protested, but you ignored her, walking between a shorter boy and taller girl.

You couldn't help but sigh out the words as you started speaking, placing a light hand on the boy's arm.

“Scusa, potresti dirme dov’è la-" "Excuse me, could you tell me where the-"

"Sorry! I don't speak Italian!" the boy answered in a British accent, turning to face you with hands in surrender.

You both seemed taken aback when your eyes met.

Tom Holland?

"Um, oh what was the word for sorry in Italian again?" the actor in front of you asked, looking to one of his many Spider-man costars around you. Before one could answer, you blurted out one for him.

"It's 'mi dispiace' or 'perdonami,' depending on how you want to say it," you started, realizing how stupid you probably sounded to be teaching a world famous actor Italian words after accidentally infiltrating his conversation.

However, Tom was more shocked by your American accent. Your eyes still widened as you realized what was actually going on.

"Oh my gosh, what am I saying, um. I- I'm so sorry. We're just trying to find this bar and got lost and-"

"Which bar?" he asked in return. You furrowed your brows and looked at him funny, wondering why he would care. He seemed to take notice. "It's just that, we're also headed to a bar and can't seem to find it, either."

You chuckled at the situation, baffled.

"Well, um, it's called 'Bar del Fico Roma.'"

Tom's eyes widened.

"Hey, that's where we're headed!" Jacob Batalon cut in, making you look at him and the rest of the actors in surprise. You could see your own friends shock from your peripheral.

"No way! Really?" Joseph said for you. The group nodded.

"I just got it pulled up on maps," Zendaya said, holding up her phone. Realization suddenly hit that she of all people was the one who you had been standing next to this whole time.

You and your friends all gasped incredulously, amazed at your luck after spending all that time lost.

"If you want, we can show you the way," Tom offered.

"What? No, no we couldn't impose like that," you began, knowing your friends were probably internally screaming at you.

"Oh come on," Tom responded. "We're all going to the same place anyways, not like we won't see you there. It's barely a five minute's walk."

"Seriously, y/n. Do you really want to go around asking more locals for help when we've got it right here?" Olivia asked, raising a good point.

"Alright, fine," you started, rolling your eyes. You turned back to Tom. "You know what they say, 'when in Rome.' Seriously, thank you. All of you. You're definitely saving our asses."

He chuckled as Zendaya began leading the way. Though the sun had set, lights throughout the roads and emanating from various shops lit the way.

Without meaning to, you fell into step with Tom, easily matching his gait as you crossed through the bustling piazza.

"So what brings you to Italy?" He asked. "You don't quite sound like a local."

"We're studying abroad through our university. Unfortunately for me, these goons keep following me 'cause I speak the language," you joked, causing Olivia to slap the back of her hand to your shoulder.

"Ah, I see. I was definitely confused when you went from Italian to American in an instant. Y/n, was it?"

"Yes! Yeah, that's me. And you're obviously Tom Holland."

"You better remember that later, he tends to forget his own name after a few drinks," Zendaya called back to you, causing the group to laugh.

"Hey! That was one time!" Tom defended himself. "Not my fault I was going through a breakup!"

He turned back to you.

"Don't listen to them. I'm quite fun to drink with. You should see for yourself."

"Is that some sort of offer..?" you questioned playfully, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"If everyone's alright with it, I figured you all would join us at the lounge. I'm more than happy to pay for a round or two," he winked.

The group was approaching the bar, and any anxiety you'd had about finding it finally quelled when you could see people outside laughing and drinking as they enjoyed the summer night.

"Hmm... I don't know..." you sing-songed, looking up at the sky.

"Dude are you crazy?" Aaron exclaimed, causing the others to argue in agreement with him.

"Okay, okay. Of course we would be happy to join you for a drink. Thank you."

Both groups cheered in approval.

"The only thing I ask in return is a little lesson in Italian and, if all goes well, a pretty lady's number at the end of the night," he said smoothly, giving you a look.

The others looked between you with wide eyes, surprised at his open flirting. You couldn't help but smile and blush before replying.

"I think that's something I can manage. Now come on, your first lesson will be in ordering drinks," you said, grabbing his hand to lead him in what was about to be the best night of his life.

And yours.

★

A/N: Okay fun fact I thought up this concept immediately after publishing La Vita Dolce and just... never wrote it? The entire work was actually written around the one Italian phrase I used haha.

Anyways... Hope you all enjoyed as per usual and feel free to hmu anytime about anything :)

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭����

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[kurooskorner]

surprise!! — [♡] ‧₊˚✩彡.

warnings: some cursing I think? the dead, and that's all !

To say the Black Cat B & B was bustling with people, would be an understatement. In one swift night the building had gained over 30 new guests, though they weren't exactly new. Every year, on Halloween day some higher entity granted the spirits that loomed in the Black Cat halls to become human once more, and every year since the very first opening of the B & B it grew more and more packed.

The tradition to throw a party for the residents that quite literally gave them a name was started long ago by Y/N's grandmother, she was a sweet woman, and she wanted to give back, asking the spirits at the time what she should do, they simply asked if she'd make it a night to remember.

So, Y/N and her fellow Black Cat members found themselves on the morning of October 31st, standing in front of multiple familiar faces, voices, and overall presences.

"Hello everyone, I know I do this every year but, it's great to have you all back, it's been an amazing year with all of you, we've had our ups and downs," she broke off, glancing towards the smirking twins, "but overall it's been amazing. I hope today is up to par and you enjoy it till your hearts can't anymore!" The speech had finished and with one swift nodd of contentment, the spirits howled a chorus of thank you's.

A knock on Iwaizumi's door startled him, while he was expecting someone he didn't think it'd be so early, perhaps she got the wrong time, he thought, but he was far from being right, for a pair of brightly colored haired twins stood await at his door frame. "Hey, we need to have a serious," the first twin paused and walked through the frame, shoulder bumping his, while the second twin continued. "Talk with you, hope you don't mind," replied the other, already in the room and sitting aloof Iwaizumi's bed. "Who the hell are you two? Did shittykawa put you up to this? I told him I didn't want any pranks this Halloween — would you get off my bed? Don't touch that!" He rambled out different strings of sentences but the twins paid no mind to them at all, continuing to invade the boy's privacy as they'd once done when they were invisible. "You have to treat our Y/N right, she's kinda crazy, and sometimes she doesn't think, although she'd like you to think she does, she's impulsive and needs lots of reassurance so be sure to give her that, " said the twin on the left. "And make sure you don't forget the little things, be a good boyfriend to her, we're trusting you with our girl," said the other. Both taking steps towards him, each patting his shoulder, seemingly in approval, they spoke once more in perfect unison, "Treat her right, or we'll end you," and with ghostly smiles they left the room, pure content on their faces.

In another room, Makki and Matsu sat fanning themselves, long hours of trying on their Halloween costumes had made their body temperatures high and they'd decided on a break, until a small, soft, knock interrupted them. "Oi get the door Makki," poked Matsu from the foot of his bed. The pink haired boy gave him a puzzled look from the other side of the room, "You're literally like ten steps away from it, YOU do it," he jabbed back, finger pointing accusingly at the space between Matsu and the door. The knocking came once again, Matsu lifted himself off his bed and walked towards the door, he wasn't sure what to expect but when he opened the door and in walked Kami, he screamed.

Satori and Kiyoomi had to share ingredients, Omi got first usage of course and Satori waited for him to finish, it was a dynamic that the two had gotten used to over time and all in all it worked really well...until you mixed in one mischief woman named Kanako. Normally she sits back and just watches Omi cook, but today is the one day shes allowed to actually help, feel, and offer herself as his true assistant. Kiyoomi quite frankly does not like it but it's better then hearing her whining 24/7 and upsetting her as he's done so many times (all accidents he swears). So, Kanako gets to help him however, yes she is always with him in the kitchens, she isn't exactly the best cook, but she's trying her best!

As night approaches and it's time for the real festivities to begin, the guest have gotten a few hours to socialize and meet the once a year guest, the twins are on their best behavior for Y/N and so is Hoshi, many of the spirits such as Blu or Izumi, are no where to be found, they're allowed to wander around so maybe just maybe they can be spotted later but as for right now, Y/N is worried about one thing and one thing only.

masterlist | prev.

taglist: @vanilla-beanzz @atomicpie1115 @momo-has-a-gun @toobsessedsstuff @peachacolada @virgoamajiki @ptv-hades @myeggodied @satorisupremacy @confusedturtle @akaashikeijisthighs @elianetsantana @mint-mai @haikyuufairy @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @heyyourecute @v0dkadaddy @abswrites @sakusasbleachbottle @crybabbicus @karasunobbys @kuroosleftkneecap @talkaboutaliens @uhmdaddychill @ditu-m9 @sbaepsae @prettysetterboiss @bbyouamazin @tvnaka @lovinnoya @iidanotlida @winunk @jeffsbarbershop @mirdy47707 @peteunderoos @jvhoons @paytra @insomniish @faewraithsworld @rirk-ke @heavenini @sugasloverr @sugawaaras @ceeswrites-main @jaectizen @ariasnight @tchalameme @nerdynstoned @franklyrobin @8zmingi

taglist is closed!

angie's love note: yeah I truly do not feel like this is my best smau-wise but writing wise I'm super proud of it !! anyways tomorrow y/n and iwa's journey ends! yes I'm crying about it

fun facts:

- the Halloween party was a success !

- iwaizumi and y/n danced almost all night, they shared a sweet kiss under the moonlight (much to the twins dismay)

- each twin danced with y/n and they shot smug looks at iwaizumi the entire time

- makki, matsu, and kami all got along surprisingly well and they even got him his own teletubby costume (originally for oikawa but he refused it)

- all the spirits had an amazing night and they loved every bit of it, in the end they all thanked y/n and the boys :)

[livelovelaug-h]

Falling for the popular nerd part 2

Eric x reader

A/n; sorry for so many delays ive been having some tonsil pain or glands that I wasn't expecting and ugh it's weird. :((

@thefeetlesfan ♥️hope y'all like this.

Summary : your date with Eric after you meet him and his group of friends. You let your nerdy side come out even though you are Rich and Jackie doesn't approve. Will you and Eric be able to date? Donna and Eric are broken up this is around kinda where she started dating Casey but I'm not really making it one specific episode or anything. Enjoy and hello Wisconsin!!!!!

It was finally the day of your "date with Eric." The only person you could really tell was your mom but then she was over protective, about being with a guy alone. You were beyond excited. You could really be yourself around him. I mean of course you were still nervous as hell and worried wheather you looked good or not.

The hub

3:30 pm 1977

You walked in seeing Eric at the counter.

"hey y/n I got us a table."

"oh thanks. What a gentleman." He walked you over holding out your seat for you.

"that is i... You look really nice by the way."

"thank you", you blushed. "So how was school?"

"oh you know same old same old. Homework yay." You laughed.

After a little while he asked if you wanted to go see the new movie coming out.

"yeah sure im down."

"great so what that'll be our second date??" He asked.

"oh these are dates???" You asked bewildered.

"uh- uh no I -."

"Eric I'm kidding, this was a great first date. Im having a great time."

"oh good. Yeah- yeah I knew that." You both laughed it "well what was your favorite movie from last year? Besides star wars of course."

"well Rocky, but freaky Friday was great."

"but not as great as Rocky man. Hey what did you think of The Omen??"

"oh that movie was amazing. So many deaths, it was crazy."

"I think it was about like what 7 or 8?"

"10 but who was counting right? Haha" You gave him a cute smile, both of you laughing it off again.

"wow, see you are just so awesome."

"Thank you! So are you."

"thanks. well hey it's getting late, can I drive you home??."

"Sure. I would love that." You got out your wallet to distribute to the date.

"oh no please I got this y/n."

~~~

You walked into Eric's basement seeing the whole gang.

"hey Eric ready to go?" You ask your date.

"uh where are you guys going??" Jackie asked.

"to the movies?"

"as like a date?" Michael asked.

"no." You said, looking at Eric with soft eyes. Both of you knew that each of your groups were gonna make a big deal.

"well it seems that way. "

" guys we were just going out to hang."

"well if it's not a date then why don't we all come." Your eyes widened.

"okay. Yeah.. fine." Eric said. Everyone got up walking to the door Eric whispered sorry in your ear.

~~~

The movie was hard to watch with them talking and getting out of the car.

"Eric you took her to the drive in because you were so gonna make out with her."

He closed his eyes for a quick second. "no I wasn't."

"yeah right."

"Kelso shut up." Hyde smacked him in the arm.

"OWW."

~~~~

Eric drove everyone home and you were the second drop off.

"well I had ... fun thanks for taking me Eric. Have a good night"

"no problem and yeah me too. Night y/n."

"oh she is totally into you." Hyde said. "thanks for taking me." Donna and Hyde mimicked you with a high pitched voice.

"yeah she was practically throwing herself at you."

"Michael!! No she wasn't she is popular she doesn't want to go out with a nerd. We've already been through this."

"well yeah but we've ALREADY been on a date so ha Jackie suck on that."

"ew, When?"

"Two weeks ago."

"oh we are so gonna have a talk about that y/n!"

"or maybe you should just let them date. Who cares, Jackie you can't choose who dates who. This isn't a soap. Especially with these nerds."

"well, no offense Eric but I didn't like the way you treated Donna so I'm just looking out for my friend."

~~~~~

You're putting out the trash when Jackie walked over to you.

"why didn't you tell me you were going on a date with Eric?!! And that you already went on one?"

"well to be fair you were exactly being nice to Eric when we were trying to talk."

"I'm never nice to him." You sighed.

"Jackie, you don't think Eric is a good match just because he isn't rich, but that doesn't matter to me. He's cool and funny."

"Are we talking about the same Eric?"

"Jackie!"

"look, I get you like him somehow, but I just don't want to see you get hurt the same way Donna did."

"I think that's one of the nicest things you've ever said that wasn't about yourself."

"don't push it."

"thank you Jackie. I really appreciate you looking out for me, I don't know if he'll hurt me and if he does then I guess it's better than not trying with him. So you approve now?"

"well I don't approve but I think he makes you happy. If he hurts you I'll get Hyde to beat him up."

Haahah you laughed and hugged Jackie.

'thanks Jackie."

~~~~

You were hanging out at Eric's basement with the gang laughing while playing a game.

"man this is great. Look at all the happy couples. Jackie and hyde, Michael and Brooke, Donna and Casey, Eric and y/n and for Fez? I get no one. It's not fair!"

"aw Fez don't worry you just haven't really met anyone outside your circle you need to go mingle."

"hmm I guess your right. I'm going to go to the hub then! Don't wait up for me losers."

"I like his spirit."

"we should all go on a triple double date!" Michael said.

"ummm-"

Hyde stopped you, "let him have this."

Eric: "I mean I'm down."

You looked at him and smiled "me too."

"yeah let's do it."

"hey y/n it's almost 8:00 want me to drive you home?"

"yes please thank you. Bye guys."

~~~

You guys were singing some songs on the way there laughing hysterically, after 7 mins Eric pulled up to your house.

"you know, not to be all sappy and everything but you really do make me happy and actually have fun. I'm hoping you just don't ruin it by being a serial killer."

"you never know I might have stuff hidden in my basement."

"nah just the money in your Candy land game."

"wait you know about that too??"

"noooo..." You shook your head making you both laugh.

"no but seriously, I really like you and I feel the same way." Eric said.

"well I'm glad we're on one the same page then." You smiled evilly leaning in, Eric doing the same. It was a great kiss. His lips were so soft and you had butterflies in your stomach. You pulled back after a minute.

You: "wow, you're a great kisser, but I think... I have to try it again and see."

"then I guess we have to do it again."

"I think Soo."

[salvatoreschool]

Every The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and Legacies Ship Ranked

53. Daroline (Damon Salvatore and Caroline Forbes)

Our first ship is our worst ship because we can't find literally anything nice to say about Daroline. Consent issues, mind-control, and death threats are not exactly the stuff of great romance, and Damon should thank his lucky stars Caroline forgave him for this abominable period when they were together.

52. Calaric (Caroline Forbes and Alaric Saltzman)

Ew. Gross. No. Kill it with fire. We've got no idea what The Vampire Diaries was trying to do with this ship, but we hated every second of it, and we're not ashamed to say it. We don't care that years had passed since Caroline was his student or that there were weirder ages gaps on the show, trying to ship a student-teacher relationship feels wrong no matter which way you slice it.

51. Klenevieve (Klaus Mikaelson and Genevieve)

Klenevieve was a blink and you'll miss it kind of ship on The Originals, but it still technically counts. Ultimately though, Klaus and Genevieve's connection was mostly physical, and there were far too many double-crosses and manipulations on both sides of this relationship to give it much credit.

50. Parkwood (Liv Park and Tyler Lockwood)

Liv and Tyler's love story kind of flew under the radar on The Vampire Diaries, but that's probably just because there were like 18 insane storylines happening at once in Season 6. This ship was actually pretty cute, and the only thing keeping it from a better ranking is the fact that Tyler, you know, killed her with his bare hands to activate his werewolf curse.

49. Malaric (Meredith Fell and Alaric Saltzman)

Talk about ships that flew under the radar. Alaric and Meredith Fell shared a brief tryst in Seasons 3 and 4 of The Vampire Diaries, but this relationship always felt like it was built to move the plot forward instead of the other way around. Kind of too snooze-worthy to deserve a good ranking.

48. Menny (Matt Donovan and Penny Ares)

We're not going to pretend like we cared even a little about Matt and Penny's romance on The Vampire Diaries. However, we're also not going to pretend like the scene where Matt hallucinates her ghost and begs her to take him with her after his car crash was anything other than devastating emotional torture that came out of nowhere and has stayed with us to this day.

47. Jolaric (Jo Parker and Alaric Saltzman)

Jo and Alaric really got the rough end of the stick as far as TVD ships go. They'd only just started to find their groove when Jo found out she was pregnant with twins, forcing them into a shotgun wedding that ended in tragedy. If these two had been given the time to start their family together the way they should have, we have no doubt they could have become one of the show's best duos ever. We'll have to settle for them creating one of the best duos ever -- Josie and Lizzie Saltzman!

46. Rizzie (Rafael Waithe and Lizzie Saltzman)

It's hard not to ship all of the Legacies kids with each other considering the great chemistry that cast has, but Rizzie is one we just never loved. Lizzie seems too intense for Rafael, and Raf doesn't exactly seem like the kind of guy that would give her the level of attention and devotion she requires. This ship was kind of a flop in Sesason 1, and we'd prefer it stay that way.

45. Debekah (Damon Salvatore and Rebekah Mikaelson)

Damon and Rebekah shared one night of tearing ballgowns and tuxes off each other, and then it was never really spoken of again. It's hard to properly rank a ship that basically came down to "that one time we had hate sex," but hookups like this were what The Vampire Diaries was built on.

44. Haylijah (Hayley Marshall and Elijah Mikaelson)

We really wanted to rank Haylijah higher on this list, but all the passion and angst in the world can't distract us from the cold hard truth: Hayley and Elijah had issues. Major issues. Not the least of which being that he killed her in the final season of the show. Whether you consider their love story to be one of the best or worst this shared universe ever created, at least you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that they gave it all they had.

43. Klaurora (Klaus Mikaelson and Aurora de Martel)

For as long as we've known Klaus, he was always teetering on the brink of insanity, which is kind of what we loved most about him. Aurora, on the other hand, has been batshit crazy her whole life and it's so not a good look on her. This weird, obsessive, "let's see who can out-crazy the other" romance was not to our taste at all.

42. KymG (Kym and MG)

We can't claim to be huge fans of the romance between Kim and MG on Legacies, though their names fit together so perfectly for a ship name that we almost demand they be endgame based only on that. Unfortunately, the show never really gave them the screen time they needed to get us invested in their love story before Kym decided she'd had enough superantural shenanigans and left Mystic Falls.

41. Elijah Mikaelson and Antoinette Sienna

On every TV show, there are ships that just make us shrug, and Elijah and Antoniette are definitely one of those. They don't even have a ship name, that's forgettable this tryst was. Even with memory loss, hidden pasts, and romantic pinao duets, this couple was kind of just meh.

40. Sizzie (Sebastian and Lizzie Saltzman)

Sebastian and Lizzie may have had potential, but in the end it turned out to be wasted. Their chemistry was off the charts, but like many teenagers swept up in romance, they never really took the time to connect or learn about each other. Maybe that's why they ended on such a sour note. Still, at least Sebastian went out a hero?

39. Jicki (Jeremy Gilbert and Vicki Donovan)

You know, we were really rooting for Jeremy and Vicki when The Vampire Diaries first started. They had that whole, rebels who are too cool for school, but not too cool for love thing going on. Ultimately though, we don't think Vicki would have ever calmed down enough for Jeremy, who was really only pretending to be a wild child to deal with his parents' deaths. This ship just wasn't to be.

38. Maroline (Matt Donovan and Caroline Forbes)

You know those Season 1 ships that you know are never going to make it, but every time you look back on them they make you nostalgic? That's what Maroline is for us. A cute relationship between two characters we love dearly that just never quite fit perfectly together. That being said, if there had been no vampires or life-or-death scenarios in Mystic Falls, Maroline absolutely would have been endgame material.

37. Stalerie (Stefan Salvatore and Valerie Tulle)

Stefan and Valerie had one of the weirdest love stories we've ever seen, but there was still a small part of us that was rooting for them. In a world not besieged by curses and vampire hunters and prison worlds, these two could have really been something! Sadly, Stefan has like five more appealing ships, which is probably why they never really made it that far.

36. Hafael (Hope Mikaelson and Rafael Waithe)

Legacies made a solid attempt to recreate another brotherly love triangle, but we weren't really feeling it with Rafael, Hope, and Landon. Raf and Hope have a great friendship going, but it's probably best left there considering how much more fans seem to prefer her relationship with Landon.

35. Marcille (Marcel Gerard and Camille O'Connell)

Remember when Marcel and Camille were a thing for a hot minute? Neither do we! Sorry to Marcille fans, but though these two had decent chemistry, they just never got a lot of attention as a couple, and so their love story kind of faded into obscurity.

34. Jasie (Jade and Josie Saltzman)

The Vampire Diaries universe sure does love its enemies to lovers ships, doesn't it? Josie and Jade started off on opposing sides in Kai's prison world, but after Jade turned her humanity back on, things started to change between them. At least the sex dreams they started having about each other did. Jade and Josie might be perfect for one another, seeing as they both understand having a dark side that's hard to deny.

33. Carenzo (Caroline Forbes and Enzo St. John)

While Caroline and Enzo never made it past the friendzone, we wouldn't have hated it if they'd had a thing. There was a lack of "epic love story" vibes between them, and when Enzo was at his worst, Caroline brought out the light-hearted, carefree side of him. Plus, all things considered, he really was her type - morally scrupulous Brit, who would burn the world down for the people he loves -- why does that sound familiar?

32. Mizzie (M.G. and Lizzie Saltzman)

Every day we go back and forth on whether MG and Lizzie are soulmates or whether they're the perfect best friend duo of all time. Could they possibly be both? Sure, Lizzie takes MG for granted sometimes, and MG can be a little thoughtless sometimes, but that doesn't mean these two aren't connected in a deep, meaningful way that most people can only dream of.

31. Noralise (Nora and Mary-Louise)

Though we only got them for one season, Nora and Mary-Louise had us from the moment they said hello. We do love a bad girl, and two bad girls together? We're toast! Our favorite thing about this ship is that while it was clear Nora and Mary-Louise didn't care about much in this world, they cared about each other, and that was more than enough for them.

30. Klayley (Klaus Mikaelson and Hayley Marshall)

When The Originals first premiered, we were sure Klaus and Hayley would eventually fall in love and live happily ever after with their precious loophole baby, but ultimately these two just weren't meant to be anything more than one really hot night. That being said, watching them as co-parents just proves that not all ships need to be romantic to work.

29. Rope (Roman Sienna and Hope Mikaelson)

Roman and Hope's sweet, timid flirtation on The Originals was like a breath of fresh air after some of the intense, life-changing, epic love stories we'd been getting for five straight years. Rope -- whoever came up with that ship name was having too much fun that day -- would have ranked higher if the whole relationship wasn't just Roman's ploy to get close to Hope's family.

28. Stebekah (Stefan Salvatore and Rebekah Mikaelson)

The Vampire Diaries had the best flashbacks on TV, hands down, partially because when your characters have lived for centuries, you can really mix things up. One of said mix-ups was the revelation that Stefan and Rebekah had been an item back in the 1920s, and while their romance is probably best left in the age of prohibition, it was always one of our favorites.

27. Hizzie (Hope Mikaelson and Lizzie Saltzman)

Hope and Lizzie would definitely have that whole "enemies to lovers" thing going for them if they ever decided to take the plunge together. The bond we've seen these two develop over the course of Legacies has been so wonderful to watch, and while at the moment we prefer them as badass besties, we wouldn't hate to see them head towards romantic territory someday.

26. Janna (Jeremy Gilbert and Anna Zhu)

When The Vampire Diaries first paired Jeremy and Anna together, we thought our little vampire-loving hearts would give out. They were both so damaged and dark and alone in the world that they somehow fit perfectly together. Not even multiple deaths could keep them apart! Losing this one was hard, but at least ghost Anna came back to hang out occasionally.

25. Datherine (Damon Salvatore and Katherine Pierce)

Call us crazy, but even through all the craziness and manipulation, there seemed to be a spark of something between Damon and Katherine that was just undeniable. Maybe it was the fact that they both put up a dark and diabolical front to mask their real feelings about the way their lives turned out. This wasn't a ship for the ages, but it certainly was a pairing we'll remember forever.

24. Kennett (Kol Mikaelson and Bonnie Bennett)

You know a fandom is strong when it can build a ship of dreams out of like 2 episodes and 10 lines of dialogue, but that's about all Bonnie Bennett and Kol Mikaelson ever shared. And yet somehow, Kennett is always going to feel like the one that got away in terms of ships that totally should've happened but never did.

23. Klamille (Klaus Mikaelson and Camille O'Connell)

Despite their messy ending, Klaus and Camille's relationship showed us sides of each character that we otherwise would never have seen. Though it was missing some of the passion usually found in The Vampire Diaries and The Originals ships, it was still absolutely heartbreaking to watch Klaus lose a woman who meant so much to him when Cami died.

22. Jandon (Josie Saltzman and Landon Kirby)

This short-lived romance between Josie and Landon may not have been super popular with fans, but it was perfectly in character for both these self-sacrificing loners to find their way to one another. It may not have been a romance for the ages, but it was an age-appropriate and utterly endearing one, and that's good enough for us!

21. Kolvina (Kol Mikaelson and Davina Claire)

As one of the few ships that managed to make it out of The Originals series finale alive, we have to give Kol and Davina props. Their love story survived multiple deaths, body-swaps, and that pesky problem of Kol accidentally murdering Davina that one time. We want nothing more than peace and happiness for eternity for these two crazy kids.

20. Jalaric (Jenna Sommers and Alaric Saltzman)

While some believe Alaric's love life is cursed, those of us who watched the early years of The Vampire Diaries know better. Alaric will simply never find someone as perfect for him as Jenna Sommers, which means he's destined to fall in and out of subpar ships forever. Poor guy, it's rough when your soulmate dies so early on in the first of three sequential shows.

19. Klefan (Klaus Mikaelson and Stefan Salvatore)

This one's another ship was never technically canon, but as far as we're concerned that was a GRAVE mistake. Klaus and Stefan had chemistry coming out of their ears, and you're seriously trying to tell us that nothing happened between these two during their days of debauchery in the 1920s? Yeah right, you're not fooling us!

18. Jayley (Jackson Kenner and Hayley Marshall)

Jackson and Hayley may not have had the passion and the fire that some of the best TVD ships boasted, but they had something that very few other pairings had: A rock-solid friendship built on trust and understanding that grew organically into true love. Considering how crazy their world was, they both needed a relationship like this to keep them sane, which is maybe why we ended up loving it so much?

17. Kalijah (Katherine Pierce and Elijah Mikaelson)

Katherine and Elijah only shared maybe a handful of scenes together over the entire course of The Vampire Diaries, but they're somehow one of three ships we would have watched an entire spin-off about. Their love stood the test of time and somehow overcame hybrid-sized grudges, and that's about as romantic as it gets.

16. Rebel (Rebekah Mikaelson and Marcel Gerard)

Though we love Marcel and Rebekah (especially when we think about the day they both take the cure and grow old together), this couple had one major problem... One of them wasn't on the show all that often, which meant their romance faded to the background every time Rebekah left town -- which was a lot. We'll put this in the category of ships that were done dirty by logistical, behind-the-scenes stuff.

15. Bamon (Bonnie Bennett and Damon Salvatore)

The Bamon saga was one of the most topsy-turvey things to follow on The Vampire Diaries, but we loved every minute of it. From shipping them a little bit in Season 1 to hating everything about it in Season 3, to watching them grow into best buds in Season 6, Bonnie and Damon went on a journey unparalleled by any other ship in the TVDu. Do we kind of wish they'd given romance a try? Sure. Are we going to let that invalidate how awesome their story was? No way.

14. Gialijah (Gia and Elijah Mikaelson

We're probably going to get some hate for this, but if we had to pick between all of Elijah's ships, Gialijah would probably win out. Sure, they weren't star-crossed lovers or centuries-old flames, but if you're looking for a healthy dynamic (of which Elijah was sorely lacking) with great chemistry and some awesome scenes, Gialijah is the ship for you.

13. Handon (Hope Mikaelson and Landon Kirby)

Hope and Landon are kind of the Stelena of Legacies. Not a pairing that we think will be endgame (no matter how heartbroken that will leave us), but integral to the DNA of the series nonetheless. We're content to enjoy this sweet couple strive for their happy ending, and we'll even root for them most of the time as they grow up together and figure out this crazy supernatural world.

12. Jaiden (Josh Rosza and Aiden)

Oh, Josh and Aiden... the ship that was too pure for this world. Literally. Though both these characters bit the dust before all was said and done on The Originals, their love story was super sweet, and, hey, at least we got to see them reunite in the afterlife!

11. Beremy (Bonnie and Jeremy)

If any of you ever had a crush on your older brother or sister's friends, you'll understand our undying love for Beremy. There was something so cathartic about watching Bonnie realize that Jeremy had grown up to be a sweet, sexy, utterly dateable guy instead of Elena's annoying little brother. Even though the didn't end up together, they deserve a high ranking in this list of epic ships.

10. Posie (Penelope Park and Josie Saltzman)

Considering how few episodes of Legacies Penelope was in before she bounced, it's remarkable that so many people fell so deep in love with the Posie ship. We guess there's just something intoxicating about a bad girl who will do bad things for the girl she loves. If you come for Josie, Penelope will come for you!

9. Steferine (Stefan Salvatore and Katherine Pierce)

Is it weird that we always kind of thought Stefan and Katherine would end up together when all was said and done? Don't get us wrong, that relationship was toxic at best, but when they were on screen together, you just couldn't pull your eyes away from them. It was like watching a really sexy, complicated train wreck in action.

8. Forwood (Caroline Forbes and Tyler Lockwood)

Considering how often Caroline and Tyler were separated (by distance, evil hybrids, or opposing loyalties), it's pretty impressive that they were still one of the most memorable ships from The Vampire Diaries. It some mixed the sweetness of Maroline with the passion of Klaroline, creating a happy middle ground for fans to enjoy.

7. Freelin (Freya Mikaelson and Keelin Malraux)

Did we really understand the term OTP before Freelin existed? We doubt it. Freya and Keelin had their ups and downs on The Originals, to be sure, but through it all, there was never a doubt in our minds that these two strong, smart, sexy women were absolutely made for one another. Knowing they're living out their happily ever after in New Orleans with a cute little baby named Nik is the only thing that gets us through the day sometimes.

6. Steroline (Stefan Salvatore and Caroline Forbes)

Considering how many ships exist in this universe, it's shocking that Steroline is one of only a handful to make it down the aisle. Poor Stefan seemed doomed to be forever locked in a love triangle with his brother until Caroline Forbes entered his life. Not only did he no longer have to deal with love triangle BS, he got to marry his best friend, who he knew would support him through thick and thin. If only it hadn't taken them so long to figure out how awesome they could be together.

5. Benzo (Bonnie Bennett and Enzo St. John)

Sometimes it's hard to ship characters that are thrown together at the end of a series as opposed to the beginning, but that was not the case with Bonnie and Enzo. One minute they were two characters who'd never really interacted much, and the next they were epic loves who built a strong relationship built on trust, compassion, and a lot of laughter. Honestly, they fit so well together even we were surprised by it!

4. Stelena (Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert)

Of all the ships to ever grace our screens over the years, there was something truly special about Stefan and Elena. Maybe it's because we associate their love story with some of the best years The Vampire Diaries ever had, or maybe their connection really was just too epic for words. Whatever the case, Stelena was one for the history books, and we dare you to say different.

3. Hosie (Hope Mikaelson and Josie Saltman)

It might seem weird to put a ship that's not, technically speaking, canon (yet!) so high on our list, but we absolutely won't apologize for it. Putting aside the obvious fact that these girls are definitely, majorly, into each other, Hope and Josie have proven over and over again that they not only understand each other on a deep, intimate level, they also care enough about one another to go to the ends of the earth to keep each other safe and happy. That kind of devotion when paired with a healthy, supportive dynamic is a killer combination.

2. Klaroline (Klaus Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes)

Klaus and Caroline never really got the timing right, but maybe that's what makes this ship one of the best in the history of The Vampire Diaries universe. They were enemies, they were lovers, and they were kind of even friends for a minute there, and the fact that they never really got a chance to be together only makes this ship more EPIC. Plus, it's kind of impossible not to swoon when a guy declares he'll be your last love.

1. Delena (Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert)

Was there ever any doubt that this list would end here? Whether you loved Delena or not, there's no denying this couple was iconic, and a large part of The Vampire Diaries' success was built on their love story. Sure, we would have preferred for them to not have different versions of the same fight for four seasons in a row, but that doesn't mean we don't still get major chills whenever we rewatch their first kiss or their series finale happily ever after.

[zegraywolf]

Hi hello! I just saw that you'd like to do one of those question thingies, so if you want to, tell us three things you love about yourself, three hobbies/interests of yours and/or three random things that you just want to talk about (no pressure tho)

I hope you have a lovely day <3

Dude how have i no been following you already? Perfect timing by the way i was gonna go out and find some more fic writers and here you come with a fic rec post and fics yourself.

I shall thank you for reading my tags it seems I get to talk to people when im being all mopy for no reason this is like the second time I've just ranted without expecting anyone to respond and suddenly someone is responding to me :P

1: When i was in highschool I had a sandwich with undercooked bacon and was choking on a huge piece of bacon in a room with like 70 people all eating as well. I spent 30 seconds calmly getting up going to the trash can and pulling out a piece of practically raw bacon from my throat. I then proceeded to sit down chug my water because my throat hurt and get my cross country shoes on for the rest of the practice that day. My coach who was seated on the table to the left of me came over and told me I shouldn't go to practice and i asked why to which she said and i quote "well you obviously don't feel good you just vomited into the trash can." I then proceeded to inform her that i did not vomit I was choking and was perfectly fine to continue practice. The look of pure terror on her face still makes me cry laughing to this day. Needless to say i went to practice and only until 4 years later did my parents find out i almost died. (Thought and still think it was funny as hell I imidately realized the stupidity of the situation even which bacon killing me.)

2: My music taste varies wildly. So much so that I can give my head phones to one person and then 5 minutes later give them to another and one will think i listen to folk music and the other will think i listen to indy heavy metal. I've have multiple people argue over my music taste infront of me.

3: I am uncomfortably good at keeping my head in really bad situations or moments of high stress. A great example is the bacon debacle but also my dog was recently put down (old man at the age of 14 was going soon anyway and we wanted it to be painless and with everyone so he didn't have to be scared home alone incase something happened). While I was sobbing over it about 30 minutes before he was put down through out all of the crying i was thinking "I understand that this is an important emotional release but I'm tired of this i wanna spend some time with him before he goes not crying because i can't get my self incontrol for it." I had multiple thoughts like " you need to breath it will make it hurt less." "What about this hurts it's a long time coming and we've accpeted and gone through this multiple times at school." And my personal favourite "relax there is no need to be sobbing this much you can cry all you want but I need to pull this together for long enough to breath and work through the emotional problems i am having right now."

The various times I've heard creepy things in the woods and after my implus freeze imidately going "where was it, what color, what size, is it a threat, and am I close enough to get home/to safety." Clearly going through my head until i have no idea what the answer is and just say fuck it and leave to go home anyway.

[gunaerystargarygun]

Tumblr had a new update for the anon asks. Look what I can do now.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Yeah! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't believe it. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Barry why don't you use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. And a perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got some lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. It's special day, finally graduating. Never thought I'd make it. Yeah!, three days grade school, three days high school. Those were so awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Hey, Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hey, did you hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to his funeral? - No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everybody knows, you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead. Yeah! I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement right park into our regular day. I guess, that's why they say we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... ...9:15. And that concludes our graduction ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Are we going to pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it's going to be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? And you'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we

only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Barry, why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. Yeah, but, Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. check it out. - Hey, Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where those guys have just been. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. I think bees make too of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have some fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. One time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. And what were you doing during this? Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that if you want. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. You know, we're going hit a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! It's a puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. Have you decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you something about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Well no... Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait untill you see the sticks I have for you. I could say anything I want right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some fresh honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. To honey! Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - I can't believe we're starting work today! - Today's the day. come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! And one of them's yours! Congratulations. son! Step to the side please. Yeah! - What did you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Well, step up and make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. - Any

chance of getting on to the Krelman Sir? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelman opened up again. What happened? Well, wheneever, a bee died. That's an opening. See that? He's dead. dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. But that's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. You're cra If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Well, look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - You ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power, kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? copy that visual. Hold on. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this colour. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. chemical-y. careful, guys. It's a little grabby. Oh, my sweet lord of bees! Hey, candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! coming in at you like a missile! Help me! You know, I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can just start packing up, honey, because I believe you're about to eat it! What! No? Oh, you cannot be serious! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you

don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I've got to get home. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, can you close the window please? Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? It folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favourite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I walk out of a job interview, they're flabbergasted, they can't believe the things what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I gotta tell ya, I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Kill it! Kill it! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Well, why does his life have any less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of them But you know it's an allergic thing. Hey why don't you put that on your resume brochure. It's not funny m​​​y whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Yeah! sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You can put carob chips on there. - Good night. - Supposed to be less calories or something. - Bye. I've got to say something. She saved my life. I've got to say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. I know. You're talking! I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine, It's just.. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, you know, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. Well, yeah! I mean, this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! Yeah, I am a bee. And you know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I mean, I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. Anyway... And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. And I'm going to leave now. - Wait! wait, wait, How did you learn to do that? - What? That- that- that- that... The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... can I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. coffee? Well, uh, I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. unless you're making it anyway. ​​​​ It takes two minutes. Really! - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want a little rum cake? - I really shouldn't. - Have a little rum cake. - No, no, no, I can't. -

Come on! You know, I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms here. - Where? - Well... These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. Yeah! And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Huh-huh Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So anyway, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! You know the Turtle Pond! Yes! I'm right off of that! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. Really? Yeah! - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Well, why not? - I don't know. It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. Well, he's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. - And do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. Look, you did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there. You had your "experience." And now you're back you can pick out your job and everything can be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? - Not a wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - You know, I'm not attracted to spiders. I know to everyone else it's like the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. Oh no, no. no, no. That didn't happen. You didn't do that. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! No, no, no! You're dating a human florist! W-w-well, we're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, you're talking to humans beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - That was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - Do you know what a cinnabon is? - No. It's bread Come in here and cinnamon Be quiet! and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking

bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I've got to start thinking bee? Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It's been three days! I don't understand why you're not working? Well, I've got a lot of big life decisions I'm thinking about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry, come out from under here. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! You go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here, Barry. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to when you yell at him! - Then why are you yelling at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, Mom, I've got to go. - Where are you going? - Nowhere I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? Isn't that faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! What, you don't have anything like that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must just want to sting all those jerks. We really try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you really have to watch your temper. Oh yeah! very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. Well, he's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. Boy, you've really got that down to a science. - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. Why! You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes we. - How do you even get it? - Well, bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, and cooling, and stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you're going start talking! Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't know what you're talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you... bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me

where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! crazy person! Oh my, What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? Oh man, They will wipe anything that moves. Now, where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - What about you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - It's a wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. SPELLING MISTAKES BELOW But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Hey, what's up, bee boy? Hey, Blood. And it was just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! So I'm just assuming this honey truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - Well, we're all jammed in there. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every-every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You have got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? Then, we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Hey, check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. How did you two get here? Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done to us! and I intend to do something about it. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That's just a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. Barry, how did you get mixed up in this? Cause, he's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. Oh Barry. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Who's side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop them. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, Barry. what could one bee do? I'm going to sting them where it really hurts. In the face! In the eye! - That would

really hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it really matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson, is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Don't forget tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we're going have three former queens all right here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm just a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Well, where I'm from, you wouldn't think of suing humans We were thinking more like stickball or candy stores. How old are you? Well, I want you to know that they entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. Thank you Larry, You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... No I mean he looks like you and he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him... Next week on Bee Larry King... Old guy glasses, and there's quotes along the bottom from the guest you're watching even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, they're hairy and they're here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. Look, i-in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! But, it was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. Wha! - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again, hun? Listen, you better go because we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me anyway? Bees have good qualities. Si certo And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Yeah! those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, they just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake plastic things! There's nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Well, maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - You know, Barry this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. - I guess. Are you sure that you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! Sarah, it's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we're going to hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? I don't know but it's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't have to be at work during the day. Hey, you think these billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team.

Any of you boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you are representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. And as a bee honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us 'cause we're the little guys! And what I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only taking away everything we have but everything we are! I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, Pretty big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I Have to say, I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. Well, they're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. Yeah, you mean like this? Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. I have to say - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first may, I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I also see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome but with a churning inner turmoil that's always ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you Mr Liotta? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this little creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! Well, I just think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.

I'm telling you I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, you know, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Yeah! Oh, that was lucky. Well, there's stil a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. I find the ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? Hey, look I know how hard it is trying to find the rightjob. We certainly have that in common. Do we? Well, bees have 100 percent employment of course, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to go drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life any more valuable than mine? It's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. Yeah! How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, look at me! I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know what, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm so sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you going to be OK for the trial tomorrow? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Now that's good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the very best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've got weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry Mr Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. - How good? - What? Do you live together? Wait a minute this isn't about... Are you her little... ...bedbug? Hey, that’s not the kind of I've seen a bee documentary or two. Now from what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't even your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! And don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going

to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! - The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! - Please Mr Montgomery. I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? Please! I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn - against the bees yesterday when one of their - Thank you! legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria they got it from downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was that like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think that was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? No, Get up, Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. You get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. You know, Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly, and as a result, quite offen we don't make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! Yay! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! Vanessa, Do you know what this means? All the honey is going finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret

this. Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? All right. All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What are you demand as a settlement? First, we're going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed bad-breath stink machine. I believe We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting down honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on around here? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - No, they're just home. They don't know what to do. They're laying out, they're sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... And now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And who's fault do you think that is? You know, I'm going to guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I guess I didn't think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these others things. And it's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. Well, that's our whole SAT test right there. So you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? And I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How would we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down?

Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. and I wanted to help you with your flower shop. Intead. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless I have another idea, and it's greater than all my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, here what I'm thinking they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we got do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Alright Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. That's nice brooch by the way. Thank you. It was a gift. Then once we're inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? Yeah! I could be the princess, and ... yes I think you could be I've- the pea! Yes, I got it. - Sorry I'm late Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It's supposed to be under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm going to go talk to the marshall. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby will do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. And once we're at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - Did you and your insect pack your own float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? - Can you remove your stinger. Sir?. - That's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is going to work Vanessa. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. I'm afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we're going to be experience a couple of hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I've got get up there and talk to these guys. Be careful. Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable travel pool filter. Excuse me! Excuse me! captain, I am in a real situation here. - What'd you say, Hal? - I didn't say anything. Bee! No! no! Don't freak out! There's a chance my entire species... What are you doing? Stop! - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? I tried to talk to them but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait a minute, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from

JFK Airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... That's Barry! ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! Well, we have a electrical storm in the area and two individuals at the controls jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute Mr Ditchwater. There's a honey bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson's work and his no-account compadres. Haven't they done enough damage already. But isn't he your only hope right now? Come on, technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. The wings are too small their body are too big... Hey hold on a second, Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass doesn't make sense." - Get this on the air! - You got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. Mr Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you. Because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to doing what we do working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. You know what! This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait a minute, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! Well then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! You don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I don't think I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together Listen to me. You have got to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! You snap - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, you two what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop. What Blacktop? Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. But it's strong, and it's pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. - Cut the engines. - Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This is the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid of

it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius man Genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're going to survive as a species, this is our moment! So, what do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! Yay! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I got to do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? Ma'am I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? Who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Alright, hold it. hold it. hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision in the middle of a huge musical production number! All right. All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

I’m genuinely crying

[olivieblake]

Sorry I haven't detailed my Friendship breakup ask earlier, managing life is taking too much time these days!

It's a bit hard to summarise but I have been soulmate-type friends with this girl, K, for three and a half years and really good friend with this guy, R, for two and a half. We all work together and our triangle friendship worked well. K and R fooled around a few times after parties, K developed feelings, R didn't and thought it was a friends with benefits thing while K hoped it would become more but it never did. Big problem was the lack of communication between them, both thought the other knew what they wanted but we know that things don't work this way.

I've been there for all of it, particularly for K who had been hurt by the lack of emotional intelligence R indeed displayed along the way. But I also felt, and I think R knew it herself, that she had been getting her hopes up almost all along and was setting herself for heartbreak, but life needs to be lived and sometimes we make mistakes just so that we can learn from them and K and I talked a lot about that, as I was myself getting entangled with another colleague.

Fast forward to last November, where, after months of horrible things piling up 2020 style, R and I spent an evening together watching movies, eating pizzas, drinking English cider and talking about how fucking sad we all were and fuck 2020 and family members dying of cancer way too fast, both in his and my family, and work being hell because the government is doing shit for making schools safe and everything going wrong all the time. At some point during the night there was a moment when I felt that R was offering more than just sleeping together in the same bed and I had a moment of hesitation but decided to not give in to it and to the the confort it might bring us both, mainly because I was sure it would hurt K if she ever heard about it. So we just slept, read books in the morning while drinking tea and there was no awkwardness because we both knew that it came from the fact that we trust each other enough to ask for comfort and even if it would have been a possibly stupid way to get it, it might have made us feel better in the moment. (even though we both think we'd have burst into tears 30 seconds in and not done it in the end)

I wondered whether I should tell K or not and decided to do it because nothing had happened, really, and if I didn't tell her when we told each other most things, that's when it'd have become suspicious and dishonest. So I told her that there had been a weird moment between R and I, that nothing had happened in the end, not in the best way in retrospect because it felt too casual to her, confirmed that had it happened it would have been weird for her and thought that was that since the next few days went fine. But at the end of that week she sent me an audio, saying that if I had feelings for R, I had a lot of time to tell her, that she needed people she could trust and who respected her in her life and that we weren't friends anymore. And that was it. Since then, she has refused to have a conversation to clear things up and has avoided me several weeks but has kept talking to R as usual.

I should have told her in a different way and I understand why she felt hurt imagining that R and I had spent a night of passion together but I told her, and then explained more clearly, that nothing had actually happened, that I wasn't into R and he wasn't into me, we were just both very sad and a bit too drunk.

The thing is, he's not hers, they haven't been in a relationship, he's not her ex either. Even if we had slept together, it wouldn't have had anything to do with her; people don't belong to people. But what's really hard is that we've been really good friends for several years and she was so quick to assume I would be cruel to her on purpose and that her feelings didn't matter to me when we've been there for each other a lot. And that putting an end to our friendship via WhatsApp was apparently so easy to do. (I don't really think it was, but it sure feels like it.)

And I've been asking other friends' opinions to see how in the wrong I was really, since maybe I couldn't see the situation clearly enough from my position, and the general consensus is that since I didn't do anything with him and was honest with her right after the nothing happened, she's being a bit extreme when the only actual thing she could reasonably resent me for is the way I told her. We're adults, we should be able to at least talk about it but I've offered several times and she says she doesn't need to or want to. But we're in the same friend group, we're supposed to spend time all together at some point and us not talking has an effect on the whole group dynamics, not just on us, and my awful need to make sure everything is balanced for everyone is going crazy.

It's been a long few months and my already sad and stressed out brain is having a hard time dealing with it and I hate that we're in this situation for something as futile as boy problems. I think there are issues of jealousy and self-confidence that stem from something else and that she's projecting it all onto this but it still sucks a lot, especially since she's refusing to talk about anything, even if we're at least back to saying hello and she has stopped fleeing every room I am in.

Anyways, friendship breakups suck, they can be as stupid as romantic breakups, and 2021 has better be nicer too everyone than 2020! Sorry for the novel-lenghth ask/story, my life is a succession of ridiculous plot points.

I hope you and Baby and Mr. Blake are doing well in these weird, weird times and I've started your book and I have loved your last video, especially the part on jealousy/possesiveness which was really well-put, as usual! Oh and thank you so, so much for your book recs on my last ask, I've added them to my To read-list <3

Okay, Love you, bye!

I feel like my last ask was a little bit too detailed to give a general answer/launch a large topic so I'm guessing it's mainly about how to deal with a lack of closure when people end things without the possibility to talk and get/give explanations. And I guess it goes for romantic relationships as well as friendships.

Love your big sistering, love you !

WELL I actually did not get this ask until a few hours after I had filmed this week’s video so not to worry lol I wasn’t able to address this specifically. but I think that’s the thing about the generality of grief over losing a friend—we don’t necessarily have to know the specifics of your story to understand it’s something we probably all relate to. and in this case I most certainly relate! I think this is one of those things where your friend had some personal things to work on and it put you in a difficult position, wherein you made the most logical choice. that’s the problem: you are looking logically at what is for her an emotionally fraught situation about her self-worth and your loyalty, which is why the math on your end isn’t adding up. (for the record I am much more likely to be in your position than hers; she sounds like a water sign but WHO’S TO SAy)

anyway, I don’t think you’re in this position over boy problems. a boy appears to be the subject yes but in fact he is the object; the subject is your friend’s feelings about herself and your—forgive me, but your compulsion to force her to get over it. I may not be completely right about that, but it does appear to me that you could have said nothing about the “nothing” that happened but chose not to because, ultimately, part of you wanted her to know. I don’t think this is sinister of you; I have a lot of friends who really need to just get over it as a general rule and sometimes it does feel like shocking them into it with new information might do the trick. but I think most likely she feels or intuits that in some way, and I suspect the root of her anger isn’t really about him but the “betrayal” she feels from you: that in that moment, you weren’t thinking about her* despite the fact that you would probably have known she would hurt if you had been (I’m sure you did know this to be true, and in my opinion are rationalizing your part in it; which is fine because you’re the main character in your life and not hers, but it is what it is) and of course she’s thinking about her, so what seems like a lot of pain on her end that she has no healthy method of dealing with is straining your relationship. I hope she can bring herself to deal with it, but she has a lot of work to do on herself before she can reach the pinnacle of what’s really bothering her. until then, it’s easier to blame you.

* edited to add: I know you said that you decided not to move forward sexually because of her, but I think what actually hurts her is not the possibility of sex, but the intimacy you had with him in that moment, which even you know is something she craved; perhaps delusionally. you don’t have to acknowledge whether this is a reasonable thing to be upset by, but I think the entirety of the situation is probably hitting her much differently than it hits you.

anyway my answer was not about this situation specifically but about why friendship breakups hurt so much, and I don’t think knowing the situation changes my answer. I hope it does help, because I think there is some part of this that is always true: one person needs to do something on their own before the friendship can be repaired, and it may not have been a problem at all if not for an issue of very specific timing. but trust me, whether this specific thing had happened or not this would still be true about the two of you, and about the ways your personal dogmas differ, and perhaps it’s better to see if she can take this leap now. maybe she will grow from it; maybe she won’t. either way, this is the part-grief, part-guilt formula I’m talking about, where sometimes you have to admit the breaking point happened, whether it could have gone differently or not, and now it’s out of your control

but I hope it helps to talk about!