#we've hung out like 3 times i have to chill

[philgbtqochs]

how to refrain from becoming obsessed w a dude you met 3 days ago

[gotta-winwin]

going seventeen 2020 <> TTT #1

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

word count: 1.5k italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin a/n: one of my fave series in gose ever... ttt! lets all thank @massivecrusadephilosopher2 for requesting this wonderful gose ep <3

Cyana was glad she chose the car with all the chill people. She could only imagine how loud the other cars must be, filled with karaoke loving singers and members who couldn't stop talking. She loved them all to death - but it was way too early in the morning - and she couldn't be happier sitting next to Vernon as Minghao drove.

"I'm in such a good mood today." Minghao announced to everyone as they pulled out of their company driveway. "Although it is a bit burdensome, celebrating my birthday with everyone."

Cyana nudged Vernon. "Nonnie was so excited while packing. I've never seen him so ready to do something."

"It's been awhile since we've all hung out." Vernon reminded them. It was rare for all 14 of them to spend a night together.

She hummed, happy just thinking about the fun they were about to have. "It's my first staycation."

Wonwoo twisted around from the front seat to look at her. "Ever?" His voice was uncharacteristically loud with astonishment.

Cyana nodded, curling up in her seat. She tugged the blanket Joshua had gotten her so it draped over her lap. Getting comfortable, she looked up to see Wonwoo still looking at her. "You don't really film content like this as an actress." She shrugged. "I'm happy my first staycation is with Seventeen."

Vernon nodded, in the middle of putting headphones on. "It's definitely going to be a trip."

"Since we don't have to be on time..."

Cyana peaked an eye open upon hearing Wonwoo's voice. They had been driving silently for the past couple hours. She wordlessly apologized to the editors for giving them nothing to work with. She however, did not regret the nap her and Vernon had just taken.

"...why don't we go and enjoy the sea?"

Wonwoo always had such bright ideas, Cyana mused, sitting up and pushing Vernon gently off her.

"It's like we're on a personal trip." Minghao said, laughing at the thought.

"This only happens because it's us." Cyana added, her eyes warm. "I still can't believe they let us drive together - they know we're all no fun."

[ free-willed group ]

The scenery was beautiful as they walked along the seaside, autumn leaves blowing gently through the wind.

"I love fall." Cyana announced, to no one in particular. "I love fall so so so so so much."

Wonwoo couldn't help but smile at her words, watching as she admired the autumn colors around them, seemingly in her own world. Wordlessly, he held up his phone and snapped a picture.

The movement didn't escape Minghao's keen eyes however, as he raised a hand to tap Cyana on the shoulder. "Wonwoo-"

"Let's all take a picture!" Vernon jumped in, saving his hyungs ass.

Cyana blinked, quickly agreeing, confused why Wonwoo's face had turned so pink and why Vernon was suddenly so enthusiastic about pictures.

Shaking his head, Minghao shot Wonwoo a look.

Wonwoo could only subtlety shake his head and hope Cyana was still too enamoured by the scenery to notice.

Arriving at the airbnb, Cyana let out a loud gasp. "Look!" She grabbed Vernon's shoulder, shaking for his attention. "You can see Hoshi singing from all the way here."

Vernon followed her gaze, joining in on the laughter when he saw Hoshi, serenading the others in his tiger print t-shirt. "Wow." He mused, respecting the dedication. "He's actually insane."

"I want to join." Feeling rejuvenated after the calm and peaceful nap she just had, Cyana raced up the stairs and into the house.

"Cute." Vernon stated, as he watched the girl run away.

"What?" Wonwoo stood next to him, watching her as well.

[ admiring alien + painfully oblivious cat ]

The general vibe of the gathering was being kept up solely by Hoshi's passionate performance, as more people came and joined him in singing. Cyana sat on the couch, amused by the whole thing.

DK, Hoshi, Dino and Mingyu began singing some sad song, making her laugh over how much raw emotion was going into the performance.

"We're not onstage, guys." She reminded them, smiling so much her cheeks were starting to hurt. "Wa~ they really are natural performers."

Jun patted the spot next to him, urging her to come closer. "Hi."

She giggled. "Hello, Moonjunnie."

"I haven't seen you all week." He complained, throwing his head back against the couch. It was true, their schedules had somehow resulted in them never crossing paths. "I miss you."

"I'm right here, Junnie." Cyana smiled at his theatrics. "I missed you too. I haven't seen anyone this week, but somehow I've seen Mingyu every. single. day." She voiced out her complaints to Jun, who was listening, bemused.

He pointed at the boy in question, who was busy singing his heart out into the mic, a large arm around Dino's shoulders. "He's right here."

Cyana sighed. "It's like he's glue or something. We had identical schedules this week. I don't even know how that's possible. He's in Hip Hop and I'm in Vocal."

Jun patted her knee. "Ah. To have problems like you."

She kicked him playfully. "It is a real problem."

She regretted drinking so much so early. It was evident from the way Jeonghan was yelling about playing foot volleyball that the party had only began, and Cyana was already feeling way too tipsy.

Ignoring their calls to play, she ventured deeper down the hallway where their rooms were, coming across a figure lying on the ground.

Upon closer inspection, she realized it was Vernon.

"Nonnie?" She whispered, bending over and shaking his foot to wake him up. She was no longer surprised, having been used to his quirks for awhile now.

"Hm?" His voice was rough from the lack of use. "Nana?"

She hummed in confirmation. "The others are playing foot volleyball. You want to join?"

She knew his answer before he even replied.

"No."

Smiling, she slumped down next to him, leaning against the wall. "I don't either. I might black out from all the movement."

Vernon peaked open an eye to look at her from the ground. "Dizzy?" He asked, knowing she was part of the "low iron line."

Cyana only hummed in reply again.

Shouts and cheers echoed through the place, reaching both their ears as they stayed in silence, listening to the whoops and cries as the others played.

"This is nice." Cyana mumbled after awhile, smiling. It felt like her face was permanently frozen in one, with how much she had been smiling and laughing today.

Vernon nodded, his eyes still closed. "Told you."

Vernon had promised her any trip with Seventeen would be fun, reassuring her that spending a night with 13 boys was not as scary as it sounded when the 13 boys was them: made of goofiness but full of gentle care.

Cyana watched as Dino took shot after shot, living out his punishment after losing to Seungkwan in badminton.

"You reap what you sow." She told him, wagging a finger when he only pouted.

"Where did you even learn that?" Seungkwan asked her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "No way Joshua taught you that."

"I did." Jeonghan raised his hand, a silly grin overtaking his face. He was proud that Cyana had found a chance to use the new phrase - even more proud that it had been used to tease Dino. "My little prodigy." He cooed, hands reaching to grab her cheek.

Cyana swiftly dodged, having much experience with it by now.

"Wait." Seungkwan called after Dino, who had been trying to escape through the distraction. "You still have to call me 'Hyung who I respect and have a lot to learn from.'"

Dino cringed just thinking about it. "Can I not?"

"You reap what you sow, Dino-yah~" Cyana sang from behind him, giggling when he turned to look at her with betrayal in his eyes.

"You're really going to treat your own twin like that?" He asked, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "This is betrayal."

[ you reap what you sow kekekeke ]

Seungcheol's voice rang through the room as he sang, proving to everyone he wasn't just a rapper. Cyana lazily waved her hands in the air, following the beat. The alcohol in her system was increasing both her social levels and her lack of self-control.

"Wooo~" She cheered once Seungcheol was done. "Best leader!"

He beamed under her praise.

"My turn~" Jeonghan took the mic from Seungcheol, cueing up the last song Cyana thought he'd sing. A rap song.

"Oh my god." She raised her hands to her mouth in surprise. Falling into DK's side, she let out a squeak. "It's Yoonzino." Jeonghan's infamous alter ego only ever made an appearance whenever Cyana was in his room and Jeonghan rapped along to her Spotify playlists.

"That's right!" Jeonghan called into the mic. "Yoonzino in the house~"

"You're so lucky you see this every night." DK nudged Cyana.

She laughed. "Hannie oppa has a secret love for rapping."

Laughing even harder when she saw Minghao jumping from outside the window, she doubled over in a fit of giggles, her upper half falling into DK's lap.

He stared down at her affectionately, an equally big grin on his face. "You're giggly today."

"She's drunk." Wonwoo mused, fighting back a smile.

[ mysterious until filled with alcohol ]

a/n: woo first half of ttt 2020 done! it was sm fun rewatching and imagining what cyana would be doing. she's part of the low iron line cuz she's just like me fr. let me know if you guys would be open to a part 2!

[press-f1-to-grieve]

Liam telling stories about him and Yuki on the Red Flags Podcast

Source: Red Flags Podcast - WE INTERVIEWED F1'S LIAM LAWSON!!! (edited down and transcribed by @press-f1-to-grieve)

to @2bluetwo85: i read your tags from that yuki and liam post. thank you for letting me know this exists (and for reading my long tags). i hope i got the right podcast you were talking about.

---

full transcription underneath beware, it's long. and i'm not familiar with the podcast (my newbie is showing) so i'm not sure which voice belongs to who. please excuse me if i got them mixed up. i listened to the episode on a podcast app and only found out they have a youtube channel later, after i had already finished everything bar hit the "post" button. the visual would have helped greatly with knowing who's speaking but alas...

---

Matt: Ye so, I wanna talk about another teammate of yours, Yuki Tsunoda. So we've read that you and Yuki go back. He lived with your parents in New Zealand?

Brian: (laughs) No! He didn't live- He didn't live with- Liam: He came to- So this is a series called the "Toyota Racing Series" in New Zealand, used to be like, really really big, especially before Covid. And basically we were both competing in it as teammates, and so he came to New Zealand. And we've been teammates a year before that in F3 and Euro Formula, so I've spent a lot of time with him already. So when he came to New Zealand, he basically just hung out with us. A lot. Like, I basically just drive around with him. Matt: So like step-brothers a little bit? Liam: Honestly, ye. (laughs)

Matt: What was your favorite thing to do with him, growing up?

Liam: It was always away from the track. Cause away from the track, he's a really funny, genuine dude. So, obviously, it's harder. When you are competing, with Yuki, (...) competing for the same seat. So, it's like, at the track, it's real intense. And then, away from that, it's real cool.

Matt: How're you able to maintain a friendship when it's just like, you know, blood sport out there for these few seats?

Liam: At points, over the year, (stammers) you know, it's not a friendship. And then he- Like, obviously, his journey was pushed a lot earlier than mine. He went to F1 quite early so, then I was- I wasn't really in competition with him anymore so- Matt: Right. Does that help your friendship? Liam: Then we are like, pretty chill again. And then we are put in competition again.

---

Brian: I think in one of the earlier seasons of Drive to Survive, you were in his room, and his room was like, all messy, and he was annoyed that they put it in.

Matt: Did you catch him on a bad day or is that just is? Brian: Is his room just a mess always? Liam: That's literally- I don't know now. Oh actually, I went to his house recently and it was a lot better. Both Hosts: (relieved) Okay! Liam: He has improved. (stammers) I remember, well, it wasn't really- (vocally winces) It was fierce because you shouldn't live like that anyway. BUT!- Both Hosts: (crying laughing emojis in audio form) Liam: But I remember, he had just moved into this apartment at the start of, I think it was the start of that year, and I- Oh no, it was the year before! But same thing, Covid, here, basically. I went to New Zealand because I was about to be locked out of the country. There was no racing. And Yuki stayed, in Milton Keynes for months. Just on (his own), he didn't go back to Japan. Like he just stayed in this apartment. Brian: Like Cast Away Liam: But I had to move into this brand new apartment and it was sick! And I went to New Zealand and I came back 3 months later. Matt: He has got a beard. Liam: And I walked into this place and it was just like DUUDE. It was bad, like it was real bad. Brian: (hums of understanding) Like takeouts and- (all three make noises of agreement) Liam: It was just food everywhere. Like, the laundry basket was just like, overflowing. Matt: Yuki was basically all of us during Covid. Brian: (enthusiastic YE's)

---

Matt: So, what are you most competitive with Yuki off the track? Like what do you guys like to-

Liam: Awe, dude, everything. Both Hosts: Ye? Liam: No, like, everything. We're like- At the moment, we've been playing table tennis. Just little disc. Matt: Oh you'll just make- Liam: M-make one! Ye, just make it. (...) not a proper one. Matt: Who is up? Liam: He plays a lot more, to be fair, but- Matt: So he crushes you. Liam: (cute babbles) No no- Both Hosts: (laugh) Liam: So, we played in Japan. I think I had him in Japan. And then we played last week and he beat me. Matt: You don't keep a serious tally? Are you better on certain surfaces? Like if it's a dinner table, you got him. Liam: On a smaller table, I have him. But on a slightly bigger table- Like depends on what table we get during race weekend.

---

Liam: But one thing with Yuki that was real funny that we did back when we were in New Zealand.

Liam: I don't know how this is a thing but you can rent a boat, at like 15 or 16 years old. And just take it out, to Lake Taupo. And so me and Yuki were like- I was probably 17 or 18 and he was like 19 or 20, and we just rented this boat, and got like, you know, biscuit, or tube? What do you call them? (...) And we just took it out and basically- It started off like real fun. Like we were just towing each other around. But then it just got like, who could throw the other person off like, the biggest. We just like, tried to kill each other on this little tube, in the middle of this lake. Matt: Just the two of you? Liam: Just the two of us. Just out there in the middle of a lake. Brian: Just the two of you tried to kill each other. Matt: It's like a fucking thriller. Liam: Honestly! I've got videos of like, him and me, like, in the air. Like, meters in the air. Matt: Who won or lost that game? Brian: "We both lost that game." Liam: Actually, I lost pretty hard on that one, to be fair. Matt: He threw you- Liam: I went off like, big time, ye. Brian: It seems like, that's the common experience of tubing, is that. It's like, it's fun and then you're like, am I gonna die? (...)

Matt: So Yuki was a master at flinging you?

Liam: Well, he would like- Sometimes I feel like it's on accident. He would like, get a lot of slack and it will just build up real fast- Both Hosts: Sure, he said it was on accident.

---

Liam: We're drivers. Everything turns into a competition.

Liam: We had a rental car, again in New Zealand with Yuki, that we like, basically would like, make a little track and just set time trials off the side of the road. Matt: Like with a Camry or something? Liam: No, Yuki had this little Mitsubishi ASX. I don't know if you know what it is, it's like a boxed car. And we, with like a couple of drivers, basically made like, a little track, and, basically goes until somebody- until Yuki crashed it. (...) The funniest thing, it wasn't even in the- He had finished his lap. It was afterward, he tried to be cool and do like a flick spin, and just totally sent it into a bank. We had to go to a store to get one of those plungers to try and plunge out the dent in the front of the- Because we had to get the car back. Brian: Right, of course. Matt: Renters insurance, man. If I see you or Yuki walk into an enterprise or something, I'll just like, go somewhere else.

[cheezeybread]

Back to our regularly scheduled Alice-asking with Anon McGee.

After playing the game for a few hours and getting through some stuff, I have some thoughts. None in particular for any sort of request [although, at the time of writing this specific part, I am unsure of if I'll tack one onto the beginning of this ask [I did not]. I am also unsure of if it will be related at all], but they're still interesting and maybe can be used for this stuff going forward [for as long as I keep requesting such self indulgent things].

1. Teeth are a currency. Not a whole lot to do with that one, but it is incredibly strange to me even still.

2. Many of the enemies are made visibly of this black, ink-like ooze. Not all of them, but a good majority of them. I feel this means overblots may cause additional layers of stress because of the implications it might cause [something to do with the fact that this inky substance was what corrupted Alice's wonderland, it sounds like it COULD be taken as a physical representation of that same kind of corruption, and the overblotter going literally insane. Could be good oneshot fuel?]

3. Alice is actually SUPER chill in the environment of the wonderland aside from when it's actively trying to kill her [although the reaction does not necessarily have to apply to the reader character we've been using as a stressball for these scenarios, I think it's pretty interesting and likely means that the initial reaction to the students of Heartslaybyul would be void should I have known prior to this that wonderland was actually pretty alright and fine for the most part]

4. Another minor detail that doesn't really mean a lot, but in the Hatter's domain, there's flamingos all over the place. While I was exploring, I saw several just sort of Around. In cages, hung up on walls, some- upon entry- were on those like.. Spitroasters or whatever they are. Many were on wheels being forced to run to give power to some machinery. They all looked pretty... Not alive, though. Also, they were strangely dodo shaped, but that's neither here nor there.

That's all I have for the moment regarding that! Feel free to take it and run however you want, I can't think of any specific request I can give relating to any of these except for the overblot one

Dang, this game sounds absolutely vicious, I love it XD

I need to take your mind and put it in a little glass jar filled with water to observe it (meant in a positive way). Maybe shake it around some to see what kinda scenarios pop out.

But the best I can come up with are some *. * ·imagines*. * · to keep your brain occupied for now

Imagine an MC who- in every single fight they get dragged into (which is an awful lot in the game lmao)- stays behind for a moment to collect some of the teeth punched out by spells and fists. The broken ones that are cracked aren't worth much, they say to their friends who ask what they're doing, but the whole teeth can buy you a lot of good things. Much to the horror of the Twisted Wonderland students, it's eventually realized that MC thinks that teeth are a currency here. They don't know why, but can only speculate that it's from the same issues from before... Riddle eventually ends up begging (or as close to begging as he can get-) for Azul to tell you about Twisted Wonderland's currency. Horrified yet intrigued by your grotesque idea of money, Azul teaches you about merfolk economics, as well as the thaumarks people use on land...of course, he's going to try and get you to explain the whole "teeth currency" thing to him, and what makes one tooth worth more than others.

The inky enemies would actually make for a KILLER oneshot, I might have to write something along the lines of it one day... Maybe Twisted Wonderland (or at least, the part that held the Queen of Hearts in it) and Alice's Wonderland are two sides of the same coin...? While they're both in different dimensions (maybe even parallel to one another!), they're both similar. The main difference was that Alice's Wonderland is isolated from the rest of the world, while "Twisted Wonderland" had different cultures and societies to expand with? The isolation caused some in Alice's Wonderland to "Overblot" (or, at least, some form of it) and become enemy bosses. So maybe Overblots are slightly different in each world, but they're still present!

Imagine an MC who (after having a few breakdowns at first regarding Heartslabyul) eventually calms down...to the point where everyone gets extremely worried about them. Riddle accidentally says "Off with your head!" to an unruly student within their earshot, but MC is so chill that they look...almost zoned out, their eyes glazed over. Like they're in a completely different world. As the overblots go on throughout their stay in Twisted Wonderland, MC's calm demeanor only gets worse. They don't seem to react hardly at all to- well, anything. It's like they've just accepted where they are and the danger they're in.

Mmm short and squat dodo-like flamingos. I like to think that our poor MC, after first seeing the flamingos in Heartslabyul, didn't actually see them, but saw their not-quite-alive bodies wandering around, some being roasted over a fire, others lurking ominously behind bushes, some in cages. All some form of injured or deadish. It would most definitely take a while until MC could see the creatures as they truly were (that is, alive and well, and most definitely not so creepy), but until then, they take it in stride. No one even knows how MC sees the flamingos until they offhandedly mention it one day, and Cater's just like "....no?? Why would we be roasting flamingos???"

[sparklywatercolors]

alright, this might be a doozy so hear me out.So my partner is staying with my family and I until March.My friends know this and pretty much all of them are friends with him. They all get along pretty well. My best friend adores him. Like she gets excited when he asks her to hang out with us.Anyways.So usually I just hang out with my 3 girlies. All of them start of them with A so I can't use initials so I'll use emojis.🐯 Is my best friend (the one mentioned previously)🦔 Is our other friend she's really chill and basically just always busy cooking and dealing with her many chaotic students And finally there's 🐱 this one is very intense and the one I'm having a bit of an issue with.So the first time my partner and I had everyone together we were all getting ramen together. It was going well until 🐱 coerced 🐯 into trying a heavy edible at my house and it made 🐯 get sick and have a panic attack. 🦔 And my partner were comforting 🐯 in the living room while I was keeping 🐱 away from her cause she was stoned as fuck and was pissed that 🐯 wanted to watch some very chaotic dork she likes watching for her calm down. 🐯 Is okay by the way. She still feels guilty but we've been assuring her it's not her fault.And then the second time we all hang out 🐯 can't make it bc stuff but tells us to have a good time. It was going well until we were all hanging out in the food court, splitting a pretzel cup and then 🐱 basically tells us she was stealing while we were all together and 🦔 called her out on it. Look none of us don't give a shit abt it but don't drag us into that. And it got brushed aside because 🐱 had to rant about her 4-Chan friend group. Who she doesn't like but she cries when they hang out?? 😭 I accidentally butt dialed one of my friends during this and it ended up causing SO MUCH DRAMA 🗿. Because that's when 🐱 demanded we go home despite saying we can all go out to dinner after the 4 chan rant. And on the drive home, me and partner were scared to even speak to each other on the ride home with 🐱. And a few weeks later, 🐱 calls me up. Her family member had suddenly passed. Which is horrifying. I'm so sorry oh my god. And my partner overheard and he said his condolences. And 🐱 got mad and hung up and then didn't speak to me for a week. When she did, she told me that I should know no response is a response and that I was wrong for letting my partner offer condolences and that it was immature for him to butt in, and this is why she isn't friends with 21 year olds. (Note: she's 28, my partner is 22, 🐯 and I are 25 and 🦔 is 26). Which is hypocritical of her because she's friends with our mutual friend who is 21. Not the point. And then she takes my partner and I out to sushi. And she was ranting about her job. She works with disabled or mentally ill kids as a teacher's aid. And her one kid has a lot of issues. 🐱 Was venting about her and called her a c*nt because she was self harming and her schizophrenia was acting up. We were appalled. How can you call a 13 year old little girl that? Especially a little girl with issues like that. My partner was disgusted for the little girl and also the fact that his little sister is also 13. Luckily 🐱 got removed from working with that little girl but that's still horrible. :( Last weekend 🐱 called and we caught up and she told me she wishes she never ranted to my partner about her work cause he didn't seem like he was listening? He was listening he was just angry?? Which I was too. I was boiling internally. I work with middle schoolers when I tutor, those kids have enough on their plates how can you call them that wtf.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 65

Oh dear gods Sam what the sweet fuck are you doing? I mean ... "Matt has actual DRAGON HAIR!" Um ... what? Wait ... six foot THREE? I don't remember you being THAT tall, Samuel ... Oh, a Scottish accent? Here we go. Beat that, Sam. Liam: "You want direction? This is it. Give me fucking Scottish." Sam proceeds yo THOROUGHLY butcher his delivery in the worst way. Nice ...

The Third Seal has been opened ... O.O

Chetney Pock'O'Pea dice? Watch Travis' face INSTANTLY light up ...

Wow, way to send Marisha into total hysterical laughing collapse, Travis ... XD

Okay ... back to business as usual at the table. How long will THIS last, I wonder?

Orym: "You look different, Letters." No shit, right? That is gonna make any serious stuff REALLY HARD to get into the frame of mind for ...

Ah yes. The threesome ...

Wow, Laudna is getting REALLY worked up over this ... yeah, Bor'Dor has REALLY fucked her up. I don't blame her at all.

Oh yeah, it's true, Imogen was FRANTIC the whole time, Laudna.

YES!!! Ashton's onto something there. Unwind! Definitely! Just CHILL OUT!!!

Wow, Chetney is actually offering himself up ad a sexual release mechanism ... okay then ...

Laudna: "We have the Harness." Ashton: "Was that part of the sex thing?"

Chetney really is so hung up on the Angel fight, it's a little hilarious ...

Next moves, then? What's the plan?

What ARE Laudna's hands doing?

Wait, go to Zephrah? Right now? I mean Orym has a point, they need to check in on Keyleth ...

Imogen essentially calling Orym an object from Zephrah ... Ashton: "She's objectifying you."

The goat ... that exploded ... yeah ... poor Gerry ...

FCG: "Hey! I feel guilty! That's like a human emotion!"

A Plane Shifting key to the Feywild? Hmmmm ...

Eidolons! Yes! And the Map? Hmmmmm ... yes, pooling information, cool, they can do that now! Yeah ... and the Harness ...

Laura: "What does that mean?" Matt: "I don't know, we're all having a mild stroke right now."

FCG: "We've seen you ask nicely, and it's not nice." Ashton: "Well, we had shit to do."

Imogen: "Where are you going?" Laudna: "Wherever YOU'RE going." Awwww ... and then Laudna bursts into tears because she loves the corset so much. :3

Milo! Hey!

Oh yeah, Milo's magic ... yup, it's on the fritz a bit like with everybody else. And he's all kinds of WURED right now ... Ashton: "Were your meds arcane? I can't remember."

What's in the note? Seriously? Don't tease us, mate! Day and a half? What even IS THIS?!!! Whoa ... his HAMMER?!!! That's a big deal ...

That's true, Ashton in a good mood is just unnerving ...

Ashton: "I don't wanna be worthless right now. This is not a time to be worthless."

Telling Ashton about FRIDA ... and his reaction is ADORABLE. Wow, he is really just SO HAPPY for his friend finally getting what he needs ...

IS Ashton actually the smartest person in the group? I mean it could well be true, but still ...

Imogen and Laudna now? Oh, here we go ...

Oh for the gods' sake, Samuel ... that bloody flask ... XD

Back to Zhudanna's place! A genuine homecoming ...

Awwwww ... I love this old girl so much ... yes! Hugs! "I'm fragile!" :3

Wow, she's PAINTING now? Oh, that's so cool ... and she's GOOD too, clearly.

They're gonna go do her shopping, that's so sweet! Yeah ... cauliflower, potatoes, lemons ... TWO loaves of bread? AND lavender oil?

Making up ... awwww ...

Imogen: "Can I kiss you?" WHAT?!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?!!! IS IT HAPPENING?!!! IT'S HAPPENING?!!! IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING!!!

Laudna: "I don't think you realise how much of an anchor you are for me, and when you weren't there, I was adrift."

ANOTHER kiss! Aaaaaaaah!

Yeah, Dead Girl needs healing BIG TIME for the Bor'Dor aftermath, and Imogen is exactly what she needs. Help her, Imogen!

Imogen: "He attacked you, first of all, so FUCK HIM." YES. "Power's very tempting. I won't judge you either way."

Awwwww ... gods they're both so adorable and I am SO HAPPY they're finally there ...

Oh shit ... who the fuck ... oh shit, tell me it's not ... LUDINUS, YOU FUCKER!!!

Yeah, this is totally giving me Masters of the Universe movie vibes from the Skeletor projections ... shit, and this crap is starting to SINK IN with some people? Fuck ...

Oh boy, dress shopping for Laudna, yay ... so cool ... and this is getting SO ADORABLE now ... Regency romance era? Awwwwwww ... that's so cute ... I'm sorry, blacks can CLASH?!!! How's that work? Victorian Spooky too? :3 Yes. Nice ...

Weave Piercer Gloves? Sweet ... Nice! Yes, Laudna can totally make that work ...

The Pate house! As a BACKPACK?!!! Awesome ... I love that so much ... yeah, Laudna's new look sounds FANTASTIC ...

On to Chetney, Fearne snd Orym ...

Ajit Daahl, hello ... yup, looks like things are different HERE too ... hmmmm ...

Here we go, Orym fills him in, then. Yup ...

Oh yeah, hello there, mister Platinum Dragon ... XD I love a good name drop ...

Crap, more magical prison escapes? Nuts ...

Ah, what does HE think is happening? Lovely ...

Eidolons? Oh yeah ... he doesn't know them? Fearne is ACTUALLY making an insight check? Whoa, WHISPERS?!!! Really?

Oh, he can point them to somebody to get a read on the old magic stuff? Hmmm ... oh, who's THIS?

Daramom? Okay ... wow, this dude is OLD ...

21? As if Orym COULD roll bad on a Perception check ...

The Harness has stumped him. Of course ... and now he's gone back to his soup ... XD

Chetney: "Anything else, Fearne?" Fearne: "No. I thought I was onto something, but turns out I ... wasn't."

Chetney's magnetism grows ... DAY BY DAY ... "Hey baby, this face is a curse."

Little kid: "Why is she so furry?" Fearne: "I don't know, why are you so hairless?"

They're being followed? Hmmm ... what ... the smell of MEAT PIES?!!! What?

Oh, so it's NOT actually a good smell? Okay, now I'm suspicious ...

And now it's making him HUNGRY?!!! A wisdom check? Oh shit ... and now he's GONE!!! Crap ... chase him!

A short cloaked man? With a pouch? Oh boy ... IT'S A TRAP!!! FUCK!!!

A net? Crap ... a SILVER NET?!!! SHIT ... Matt: "And that's where we're gonna go to break!" WHAT?!!! NOW?!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

And we're back ... to riotous laughter ... yup ...

An elderly dwarven gentleman? Hmmm ...

Wow, Fearne just BLIGHTS him on the spot! Of course she does ... 31 points of damage? Ouch!

Dwarf: "It's just business." Fearne: "Fuck. Off. This IS my business." Matt: "Roll for initiative." Yeah, that's about right ...

Chetney's up first ... Blood Curse of Bloated Agony? Oooooooh ... and a strength check? 19? Okay ... WHAT?!!! That's NOT enough?

Orym slides under Fearne's legs and then comes in for a seriously sweet leg sweep ... oh nice! And a second one with his sword ... Nice again! Badass, wee man!

A "problematic cursed beast"? What the hell?

Even with the Bloated Agony this guy STILL gets a hit in? Whoa ... and now he's trying to drag Chet off ...

A silver warhammer? SERIOUSLY?!!!

A last kiss? Persuasion or deception? 26? Impressive indeed, Fearne! Stone Skin? Hmmm ... oh yeah, definitely, against the silver? Smart!

Mister! Yeah! Do something, monkey man!

Aha! Turmoil! But he's still all tangled up in the net ... Shatter? Okay ...

Orym flips onto his feet again and CUTS THE NET!!! And Chetney ... yeah ... 9 damage, but it's worth it. Not free yet, but getting there ...

Indomitable ... and EVEN THEN Orym fails his Wisdom save ... fuck, and now he's CHARMED!!! Crap!

Scorching Ray! Burn his arse, Fearne! Third level ... six D6 of fire damage ... 23? Oof ... and then Mister uses Fiery Teleportation to jump in and attack? Sweet!

Tuyen? Who?

AND they trashed the net! Nice!

The shopkeeper from the Prism Emporium? Really? So this is like some SUPER PETTY shit?

And now Chetney's invisible. Perfect. Shimmying into cover ...

He just Misty Steps away? Crap ...

Oh well, at least that's over with. But what the fuck was that even about? Oh yeah, the threat ... that's right, he did ... yeah, Chetney's not entirely blameless in this ...

So, on to the Duskmaven's temple in the Smoulder Spire, then ...

Well they're not locked up, at least. That's probably a good sign. In theory ...

Fancy looking priest, definitely ... quite friendly underneath that hood, too. Hmmm ...

"The skein is tangled, and the threads are knotted.," Hmmmm ...

Oh yeah, clearly they're having as much trouble keeping in touch with their god too. Hmmm ... but they do still FEEL her, so ... yeah ...

Drink the waters? Okay ...

It's very cold ... but refreshing. In a chilly way ... hmmm ...

Invisible Chetney slurping Holy water really loudly ... OH MY GODS ... XD

Sam: "Did someone summon a root?"

So ... they all gad some kind of weird subtle spiritual experience, then?

A DEEP RED SKY?!!! Crap ... Oh! Of course! It's some crazy vision ... okay ...

A period of MOURNING?!!! For who? One of the gods? Who?

Orym blessing his shield with the waters ... yeah, smart ...

Heading out again ... back to the others, then ...

Back at the Spire By Fire ...

Laudna's parading her new outfit and I don't blame her at all. It's adorable.

Pate: "Hey Imogen! I saw what you did!" Snitch!

FCG baked Laudna some goodies! Oooooh!

Laudna: "Wait, the meat pie ambushed you?"

So this means that Vax is still technically THERE, he's just trapped. Okay ... so then there's hope ...

Yes. Get to Keyleth, get her advice. Smart move.

Snd now FCG's trying to convert the others to his Changebringer faith ...

Chetney's still being alive is a miracle now, apparently ... XD

Oh hello, moody Ashton is back with a vengeance, it seems. "I'm here to save US." Yup, that's about right. "I'm not gonna pick a god. They can pick ME."

Laudna: "Why do I have to have faith in the gods? Can't I just have faith in all of you?" YES!!! EXACTLY!!!

Yeah, this really isn't going to be solved anytime soon ...

Laudna: "it sounds like the harness ... was harnessing ... fuck, I lost thd thread!"

Fearne and FCG BOTH planning on Scrying on Ludinus and Lillianna ...

Cool, so Fearne is like TOTALLY channeling through nature to find that big scary bastard now ... and finds NOTHING. Crap. No joy, then ... yeah, he's totally blocking any attempts, then ...

Meanwhile FCG attempting Imogen's mum, instead ... oh, okay, is it WORKING? Cool ... oh, the dream, the dust storm dream again! Okay ... yes! That's her! And somebody else ... oh shit! It's Ludinus! There he is! They're together! Where are they?

Holy fuck are they ... THEY ARE!!! THEY'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON!!! THEY'RE ON RUIDUS!!!

I love it. FCG's mind is blown because he's just received irrefutable proof that Exandria IS ROUND!!! XD

Yup, sometime they're gonna go to the moon. It's like a foregone conclusion now ... I can't wait ...

So rest, then to Zephrah, right?

Not enough charge ... crap ... okay, waiting an extra day, then. Never mind ...

Ashton's hammer has been UPGRADED?!!! Sweet ... so they've used the cavern crystals to turn it into a chaos weapon? Awesome ...

Orym tries to send a message to Caleb ... D100? Bollocks ...

Imogen Sending to Ira ... okay ... D100 again? Balls ... same again ...

FCG tries to Scry on him ... he's out there, but can't see him ... okay then...

Fearne tries instead ... oh wait ... oh, it's WORKING?!!! Wow ... trudging through a dust storm? A RED dust storm? Holy fuck ... so does that mean IRA'S on Ruidus too? Oh, there's someone else there too? Who is it?

Whoa ... so what ... was that a Reilora?

Okay. Sleep. Then Zephrah!

Right, charge the staff, then ... and ... here we go ... whoosh! All right ... mountains, trees ... a precipice? Yes, that's it ... yeah, they're there, definitely ...

The tree! Yay! And THIS is where Matt chooses to close the episode ... Nice. Perfect place for it ...

[thekimspoblog]

A Sweet Love Story that is Older than the Sea

When I was 16, I started correspondence with this boy from South Carolina named Josh. I liked him and all, but at the time I was too hung up on my celebrity crush. But he supported me through some really tough times, and after I got out of the eating disorder clinic, I realized I loved him.

After a year or so, we started meeting in person. We lost our virginity together, and we even went to Disney World. To tell the truth, he was my first kiss as well. PS, NEVER go camping at Disney World! Josh was basically the only thing about that trip that didn't suck nards.

But then he started disappearing. I was still having a lot of mental health problems, and he'd go weeks without texting me back. One time, he was missing for so long, I made a go fund me page just to get information. Eventually he did reply: Family had been sick, he had been working double shifts at the gas station; honestly, I think he might have an undiagnosed narcolepsy problem too. Is that a good enough excuse? At the time I certainly didn't think so; I couldn't stand living in suspense like this, so we broke up.

It was mostly amicable, and we'd sporadically email eachother still, but I had mostly cut him loose because I just couldn't help him with his problems. That and little things; I didn't respect his taste in movies.

Six years pass.

I move from PA to CA.

One night last autumn, I'm just sitting in my room, chilling as I do. And I swear to you, my exact thought at the time was "Gee, Jimmy and Kim's romance is so sweeping and old school. How they reconnect after so many years, come crashing back together. I wish I had that. I've had a couple other boyfriends, but nobody as sweet as Josh..." My phone rings...

Normally I wouldn't even pick up an unfamiliar number, but I'm literally staring at the wall, so even if it's a scammer, why not indulge. I mean there's only one person I know from South Carolina, and what are the odds?

I pick up: "Hello? This is Annie" *Dial Tone*

Couple minutes later I get a text. He was just going through his old phone contacts and testing which ones still worked before deleting them. I tell him OMG I was literally just thinking about him! This is spooky! We confess we still love eachother: we've both had other relationships by now and he's thinking maybe we got it right the first time.

Now I won't lie, I can be shallow. I wanted a picture to make sure he was as handsome as I remembered, and I perked up when he mentioned he had a stable career as a plumber now. Don't get me wrong, marrying for love is great, but I need a MAN. My mom's not going to live forever and I don't want to be alone. Just anyone I can stomach trading sex for bodyguard protection. And Josh is one of the few I've met who meets my incredibly high standard of "not scum". We agree that if we're still together once I graduate in 2-3 years, we'll get married. Maybe even have children. I give him homework, three TV shows: "Better Call Saul", "Westworld" and "YOU". Keys to my heart. He doesn't just oblige me, he devours them. Finishes the assignment in a matter of months! Even takes notes and sends them to me, capturing his shock at the plot twists in real time. *dreamy sigh*

He promised things would be different this time. "I'm terrified of losing you" were his exact words. But even at the time, I knew he might up and vanish again. A relationship like this on both sides of the country wouldn't even have been possible 100 years ago. I figured 1. I'm older now, less dependent on boys to make me feel seen. 2. No matter how this pans out, it will be a great source of inspiration for my writing. And what's life without a little heartbreak?

Well a couple months ago, it happened! Just stopped replying! And I must stress WE DID NOT HAVE A FIGHT. The last thing I said to him was playfully sexting him fanfiction ideas like we had been for weeks. If I had to guess, he either lost his phone, is seriously injured, is absolutely slammed at work, or some combination of the three. I've tried emailing him, I called his dad, I even mailed a letter to his house. Short of filing a missing person report, I just have to have faith. La cucaracha, indeed!

I am worried, but I'm not ripping myself to shreds over it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I wanted inspiration for my writing; well this is all very gothic. When he returns, I'm going to tell him he needs to move closer to California if he wants to be exclusive. I don't value monogamy, but he does. And I was willing to make that sacrifice for him if I knew I could get what I needed from him. But until then I guess it's back to the hookup apps. If I can find anyone as willing to play my games as he was; most aren't.

Is he my soul mate? I don't know. I've kind of been in diet Patrick Bateman mode for a while, and while I think EVERYONE is phony with how they play house all the time, I kind of want that for myself; the trappings of success. I don't really believe in soul mates and maybe I don't even know what love is. But I know he's a good man, and he could use one more person being sweet to him.

[notawhorefr]

the time when my friend finally believed in the paranormal

so, I've never been a hardcore believer. but since I was young I could just feel things around me. like for example, the air at certain places would be heavier than others or a particular spot in a corner would just feel off to me.

this led me to be incredibly curious about the existence of spirits(not ghosts or something like energies which are left behind when someone dies). I started to be a geek about it when I was like 14 and then as I grew older the curiosity was satisfied. I wasn't quite satiated with my own experiences because no one except one of my closest friends believed in it. they believed me but not in the things I believed in.

when I was 16 we were having a sleepover with my friends, there were three of us, it was a chill night, and we were talking about life on the terrace and everything we've ever wanted(it was deep). and after that, we decided to hit the bed at around 3 am. As we were getting down the elevators seemed to have stopped working and my friend whose house we were at joked "Oohh ghosties around" and that popped a fun idea in our teenage minds

"what if we did in fact call on something to look for answers"

it was teenage curiosity. we made a circle and sat down. we continued to call out but nothing happened. We were too exhausted so we went to bed after one of my other friends just laughed at the stupidity of spiritualism. She was a skeptic.

A few years later,

we were at my friend's bday. it was the same group- the three of us. we were having a chill time. we were probably out of our mind drunk. and we had to head home soon as it was like 3 hours till midnight. we just kinda laid on the bed to sober up. and there was this huge bang on the window.

ok so guys, we were drunk and we weren't thinking straight. so maybe we misheard. we got up and opened the window. it was on the first floor. so that might give you the idea that 'oh yea anyone could climb up this shit and play a prank'.

but I kid you not, the apartment was by a national river (a huge fucking water body that connected states and neighboring countries) and there's no way a human can possibly climb that as the river was right below us.

but we just said 'Man too drunk maybe misheard it' and went home.

my friend decided to stay over (the one who was a skeptic). so I got back home and at around 2am in the morning they FaceTimed me. and as I received the call the same fucking knock kinda just came from my window. it was loud and clear and I was sober now. they all heard it through the call.

and my friend freaked the fuck out and hung up.

we talked about this the next time we hung out. and it seems like she is a believer now.

You don't really need to levitate to believe (though that would be a pretty hardcore experience).

but what we learned was that you shouldn't really call out for things unless you want an answer.

[artpigeons]

Anyway I mostly wanna post this because whenever I've read about people with ADHD who mask, I've always thought it sounded like "Some people with ADHD can simply choose to not display symptoms", and I've always thought, like. Damn. Wish I could mask.

I think in part it's because not a lot of emphasis has been placed on whether it's intentional or not - so I've assumed it must be intentional, and that I simply didn't do it. Because surely I'd be aware of it if I did?

So in case someone feels the same way, here's my experience in case it's helpful to anyone lmao. It's long and pretty specific, so I'm putting it under a readmore.

The main thing that's made me think about this is a problem I've been having with a friend lately. She's not a super close friend, but we hang out relatively often and get along well - however, lately I've been pretty frustrated with her. It seems like every time we've hung out, I walk away and start thinking about 100 things she said/did that either annoyed me or straight-up offended me and stepped on my figurative toes.

I've been talking to a few of my closer friends (who don't know her) about this, because I'm not sure how to approach the issue - it's obviously not fair to myself that I feel walked all over, but it's definitely not fair to her either that I don't say something - after all, how can she be aware there's a problem if I just keep quiet and seethe to myself?

So I was talking to a close friend about this, who seemed confused when I explained that I never notice the issue until way after the fact. After all, she pointed out, I don't have this problem with her - if one of us has a problem with something the other has said, there's no issue just saying so right in the moment.

And I was honestly kinda taken aback, 'cause I didn't have an explanation for why that's the case. I have a few people with whom I notice these things immediately and have no trouble speaking up or asking for clarification, and then a whole host of other people where I just don't notice these things until the situation is over and I'm by myself.

And it got me thinking about something another friend (one of the ones I feel 'safe' around) said - that when I worry I'm being a bit of a doormat around people and that I have trouble standing up for myself, he almost has a hard time believing it, 'cause I'm never that way with him. In fact I'm kinda the opposite; around him, I'm loud and impulsive and often a bit bossy.

I've always chalked this stuff up to, you know. We all act different around different people. You don't act the same with your great-grandma that you would with your drinking-buddies and all that. And that I probably just unintentionally did that to a very big extent. And hey, maybe my mum was right when I was growing up, maybe I'm just two-faced and untrustworthy (thanks mum, very chill thing to say :3)

But like... this friend, the one I'm having the issue with, also considers me far more introverted and organised than I do. She knows me as "guy who is perpetually early and literally has three calendars" because that's what I am around her. She calls me a "pleaser" like it's an insult. Because that's what I am around her.

And people at my work know me as someone who is super diligent and conscientious.

And my family all think of me as very closed-off and cold and distant emotionally.

It's just not... actually remotely accurate to who I am? Like, the people I feel most at ease with, and who I never feel drained after being around, all know me as an impulsive chaotic goofy guy who barely knows what day it is but cares a lot about a lot of things.

I don't do any of it intentionally, is the thing. And it's not that evenly separated, either - I'm not particularly cold or closed off at work, for instance. But it's still draining for me, because I'm spending so much energy being Dilligent Polite Organised Guy. I still go home at the end of the day and wildly neglect anything that doesn't immediately recharge the ol dopamine, because I've spent all my energy for the day and there's none left for doing the dishes.

And I think that's what masking is????????

I think I mask so super hard that I basically become a whole other person, and that the cost of it is that I shut down my own emotions and boundaries to the point that I just don't feel them at all, and that it takes so much out of me that usually, when I've had any kind of Interaction, I can't do anything the rest of that day, except try to recharge.

I don't really give a shit about being 'authentic' or 'my true self' or whatever - I care that this might be contributing to my heinously low energy-levels.

Idk if it sounds totally banal and stupid, but I'm kinda having my mind blown about it a bit. Like... is half of who I am just an elaborate coping mechanism that's ruining life for the other half??? I'm 30! I've been diagnosed for over a decade! How did I never think about this?????

Local man has Symptoms Disorder, is surprised to experience Symptoms, I guess.

Holy shit Holy shit Holy shit I just realized that I mask so hard that I've never even been aware I did it

Jesus Christ I just thought my mum was right when she called me two-faced growing up, what the fuck

Gonna come back and ramble about this later when I'm not busy but fuck me

[popculture-etc]

2021 year in review: all on pop and entertainment (1 of 2)

My last post here was in December 2020. I did not mean to fall of the earth since. I have a post that just me going off on Joss Whedon here in the drafts somewhere. I never ended up posting that here this year when I meant to do so. Lol.

I'm an old school Buffy the Vampire Slayer (or BtVS and Charmed, etc) fan of the 90s, an older millennial born in the late 80s (1987, to be exact) and that post on sh*thead Whedon was something long due to be posted here because I've had it with everything he's done in the BtVS set, Angel to the Justice League set. I've also had it with his shitty storylines for female and black characters on his tv shows and films. I haven't seen him really handle asian characters but I bet he's as shitty at handling them as he does the female and black characters so...yeah...at least I don't have to go off on him on that one. He does seem to not be too into asian characters though and there's really a lack of asian representation on his works so it's pretty telling of how he treats people---asian, black, female, all.

But anyway, I didn't mean this post to be on a**hat Whedon. This post is a year in review of 2021 and by extension, some of 2020. I fangirl and flail on stuff on my twitter, @kg_0917, so I'll base this review of the year on that one.

So what are the highlights of 2021 for me...hmn...???

There's really not much highlights in real life because 2021, like 2020, was a year I spent mostly at home in as a homebody and due to the still ongoing Covid 19 pandemic. We've been on whatever kind of community quarantine since 2019-ish for how long exactly? Yeah, 2, almost 3 years now. It's all thanks to new variants of the novel corona virus, Delta and now, one thing we're looking closely at as Omicron. I feel like we will discover ALL the greek alphabet at this point should this go on.

So yes, since 2019, I hardly go out. I'm always at home. Right...since the company I previously worked in sent us all home and had us all work from home when the pandemic here in the Philippines worsened, heightened. I only ever went out for groceries, some errands, and the occasion hangout with my girls I miss so much now, still. (My bff and I just met up and hung out at the newly opened Tomas Saco branch of Chingkeetea too. It's a local tea place I've been obsessed about since it started here, back when I was in college me thinks, and boomed and continue to be strong 'til now.) I don't really order in a lot either because I'm mostly uncomfortable using food delivery services not attached to the cafes and restaurants I buy from so yeah. No Grab food delivery, Foodpanda and the likes for me.

2021...I don't know. For some, it's boring because we all stayed in but for others, like yours truly, we've found some things to preoccupy and amuse ourselves with while staying home. I know for some it's games---board games, video games and more---and bonding time with the family. For me and a good, really old friend since I was in LiveJournal (and yes, I'm still there now but I'm using the space for something else yet), it's music. We've both been into exploring the discographies of bands, groups and more of the past and present. She's a huge fan of punk rock or punk pop and 2020 and 2021, for me, made me discover that I'm really into mostly pop (indie, some mainstream, too, of course), tropical and chill deep house, and some rock'n'roll here and there. I'm also mostly into the American side of these things.

2020 and 2021 got me into:

1. The Beach Boys

(photo from google)

It's their Sounds of Summer that first got me. I'm notorious now for putting Kokomo on eternal repeat just because of how well made that song is. The beach vibe of that song is just...so strong I'm head-over-heels, very obsessed with it. After that, it's In My Room that basically sums up this series of lockdowns (community quarantine, in Philippines' case's terms) with my stuck in my room most of the time for me, and then Good Vibrations and I Can Hear Music because...well...I'm obviously a music nut.

Brian Wilson is THE songwriter for me. I am aware much of the songs he'd written and his band has put out were completed under the influence of, say, psychedelic drugs, hallucinogens and the likes but I still say and will keep repeating (I'll even bring this to my grave, yes) that Brian Wilson IS a music genius. The Beatles, John Lennon etc, WHO? I grew up on the Beatles but since I found the Beach Boys, I'm just...everything I am looking for is with them so why should I even bother with the Beatles, exactly? I don't even care if the Beach Boys aren't that big all over the world like the Beatles in their time. What I care about is how the Beach Boys' discography really fit me well. My music tastes and all. It's such a glove-fit like...well...fit and yes, I will never part with the Beach Boys' music.

I know of some the Beach Boys songs like Barbara Ann from Toy Story (that famous minions scene, yes) and Big Time Rush's cover and poolside performance of Dance, Dance, Dance in the summer, beach-set Big Time Rush TV movie so I'm definitely no stranger into the Beach Boys before immersing myself in their discography. I'm currently on the hunt for copies of their Sounds of Summer and Pet Sounds even if they're second hand so yes, how much I'm hooked onto them and their music...it's pretty serious. It's as serious as how I follow Big Time Rush's releases and OneRepublics' as closely as I can. Also...Tove Lo's stuff.

I'm also looking into owning some fan made merch or customized merch from the Beach Boys...tshirts mostly since I don't really have a lot of band and artists' shirts yet so yeah, I'll work on that. I did a post on this one on my fashion and lifestyle blog, fashionnutcase on blogspot/blogger and it's this one with the title: wholeheartedly not half-heartedly, on band/group tshirts.

2. The Monkeys

(photo from google, cheatsheet)

....but mostly Daydream Believer (my favorite from them) and I'm a Believer.

I'm still a bit weirded out that people only know of Daydream Believer because of Wanda or WandaVision on Disney+ when I've known of the Monkees who's originally sung and performed that way, waaayy back due to I'm a Believer (covered by Smashmouth, if I'm not mistaken) in Shrek and how Big Time Rush, both the band and the tv show, were modeled after them. The latter is circa 2010 knowledge for me so I'm old in terms of knowing of the Monkees, yes. But I definitely wasn't, then, old enough to even be a huge fan and try to see them live in the USA the couple of trips I had there, when some of them, members of the Monkees, still lived and played gigs all over the said country. But anyway, that's, I guess, a millennial vs gen z thing for you...us.

There's really not much I can say about the Monkees unlike how chatty I am with the Beach Boys. I have yet to really immerse myself into the former's discography because I still can't really get past Daydream Believer especially so yeah... I can only really just talk more of the Beach Boys and their music on this post than I can of the Monkees' music.

I am interested in the Monkees' TV show and that one controversial film they released that had some anti-vietnam war sentiments though. It was deemed controversial because at the time of its release, censorship on anything to do with being anti the vietnam-american war going on in the American media. Yet...from what I'd heard on youtube on a video about the Monkees, their tv show, their music, their film/s, it went right through media censorship and aired in cinemas at the time of its release with 0 problems compared to its contemporaries then. I forgot to take not of the film's title so I'm not going dwell on that much here. I just meant to share or say that I am interested in that film and I'd watch it and the Monkees' TV show should I find them just to compare them to with BTR's show, too.

3. Britney Spears

T(photo from google)

I'm currently contemplating on getting a tshirt of hers, too. Well, fanmade, mostly, because I think vintage ones are difficult to find now. They'd also be very expensive, of course.

I mentioned earlier and I'll say it again, I'm an older millennial born in the late 80s (1987) so I know the 90s decade pretty well because I lived it both as a pre-teen and middle to late teen. I know Britney and I have some of her tapes somewhere and yes, I love, LOVE her since Baby, One More Time. I think I just haven't followed her much since In the Zone (2003), I guess. I do know songs from her like My Prerogative, Womanizer, and yes, I even followed her film, Crossroads but I only ever owned cassette tapes of hers of until the 2001 release, Britney. Slave For You is just...ugh...queen and such a good song for me also, peak Britney! Yay!

Taylor Swift who? Kidding. I also like Taylor, I'm not much of a Swiftie however, since Fearless and especially Red (I know people went crazy for Taylor's Version of Red and that long MV of All Too Well that came out just recently) so yeah...I like Taylor. Not as much as I do Britney, however.

Yes, we ALL know Britney. Or, I guess the younger generation, gen z, do not know her all that much but we should ALL know Britney. She was amazing in her peak in the 90s and a better stage performer than Taylor, definitely, at the time and even until now. Britney is an all-rounder, Taylor isn't much of that. I dedicated some time just recently this year...I think around last month? November? to just watch some old Britney stuff and ugh. I fell in love with her all over again. I'm not even going to talk much about Christina Aguilera here and their rivalry because yeah...I'm not a huge Christina fan and I don't know...I just realized now that Britney and her impressive body of work is something you just can't get over so easily especially if you've grown up with her like I did and still do.

Anyway, yay, SHE'S FREEEEEE!!!! Yes! Go forth, Brit, my love, and do whatever you want now. Your money, the world, everything is yours now.

I actually also love her personality and herself as a whole from what I'd seen of her in some interviews and all that, yes, so I'm just as happy as her and other fans of hers like me that we can witness her be happy, content, free and just her precious, lovely, bubbly self now.

2021. You're grim mostly and bland and boring with most of us paranoid over our health and about contracting the virus and its variants but you gave us this. You had us bare witness to this, Britney being freed from her family's, her dad's conservatorship, and 2021, for that, YOU ARE EPIC! Definitely worlds better than 2020, the year before this, just because of this now.

Yeah, I'm definitely getting myself a replica concert shirt of hers or a fanmade one, one of these days, yes. I kind of can't wait to have that one. I've been scouting these bands and artists shirts on shopee, a local or Philippine national online shop site, and I've found some I like, definitely. I'll get those when I have enough from the part time work I do online these days. (Yes, a very, very random life update here is...yes, I've secured a part time job even if it doesn't pay much week in and week out. It does well to tide me over 'til next year. Until I've secured a much stable paying job that I've been after for a while now, hopefully by then. I resigned from my old company with a good friend and parted ways with them around last year-ish, 2020.)

This post is already long so I'll have to cut this year in review of 2021's in to two...or three at most since I'll also be talking of some tv shows, movies, and more here, too. This review of 2021 is definitely not just going to be all about music, yes.

[barnesbabee]

I leave tumblr for a while and i instantly think "wtf is trixie up to now" as in like what argument or cult have you started this time and im right. There is always something. You are so fun thanks for being on tumblr 🧡

Anywayss few days ago, i was asleep in my room during maghrib (4th daily prayer for muslims). Normally, we dont sleep or be outside during this time. So my dad called my name but i thought i was just hearing things and ignored it. After a while of no response from me, he comes inside my room to wake me up. Besides me is my laptop with my earphones plugged in .... and it was playing " (spicy) BF ASMR" 💀💀 idk if he saw that or not but imagine if he brought it up i would pass out ....

The asmr title is very spicy but the actual audio is just wholesome video game playing. Moral of the story is i am getting way to comfortable in my own home ... but then so tf what?? If i wanna be comfy sexually or not, imma be it! Im not hurting no one. Im just doing me things ....

I wish i had more fun stories to talk to you about but my life is pretty boring. 99.9999% times I am by myself bc I don't really have friends so rarely anything interesting happens. Which is fine but i must admit, it does get lonely sometimes and i find myself getting sad. Not always but there have been times. Maybe the problem is me? But what? I dont think im bad person. Havent hung out with a friend so long i dont think i have much of a personality anymore (likely i dont have one to begin with). Idk how to genuinely feel things besides when it comes to food or kpop bc ... yunho 🧡 and hj 🧡 and jongho 🧡 ppl like you just up to the most absolute shit arguments make my day. Even if i can disagree with you sometimes

Im the type of person who has really intense dreams and remembers a lot of them. But lately I havent been dreaming or if i did, i dont remember. It does worry me ... could something be wrong with me? Who knows.

My mom esp has started to be the "pls stop staying at home and go out with a bf" mom, i would if i had a bf.

Anyways .... i made apple pie. Really delicious i love apple pie. There is also a traditional dessert that is made from coconut & red sugar called koci. Many makers that sell, dont do it properly anymore. But my mom makes THE best kuih koci. I would LOVE to share the recipe to everyone but ..... im kinda selfish 👀

It's been pretty chill recently, I believe everyone who doesn't like me has me blocked cause it's chill out here

first of all, Im judging you for that video, second, where tf else are you supposed to be comfortable my guy

well a lot of people like to be alone, and idk if I would have many friends nowadays cause it's hard to keep up with everyone, but we've been friends for around 17 years now so it's those kinds of friendships that aren't going anywhere you know? So it's a great thing cause even though I have a lot going on I can always still go back to my friends, but it's fine to be alone. I like to be alone sometimes, but if you want to keep friends I suggest you make a little sacrifice from time to time to hang out with friends cause not everyone is ok with having friends they don't see for a long time. It's completely fine to not have many friends but if you feel lonely try to join tinder, there's many girls there who are just looking for friends, idk how else to make friends at my big age lmao when I came to uni I simply joined a group

I do dream a lot, but mostly nightmares which is annoying cause the other day I woke up 3 times in the middle of the night

and apple pie is MY thing. I AM the apple pie maker and I am gatekeeping it

[honyakuninakunaru]

Ways to Spend a Birthday // Mithra SSR Card Story

CHAPTER 1

(Hallway)

Mitile: "Everything's set!"

Lennox: "All thanks to the hard work you two put into it."

Rutile: "Let's go invite him then!"

Figaro: "Ahaha. Be careful, running can be dangerous."

Mithra: "..... I've finally found you."

Mitile: "Oh, Mister Mithra."

Rutile: "What might you be doing here?"

Mithra: "I've been looking for you all morning ever since you went missing. Going as far to leave without my permission... What's with the get-up?"

Rutile and Mitile: "Pardon...?"

Mithra: "Your clothes are dirty, your faces are full of scratches, and you look worn-out."

Mitile: "Ah, t-that's...Um..."

Rutile: "Oh, um, it's nothing. We took a tumble, is all."

Mithra: "Where and what were you doing? I sure hope it wasn't somewhere dangerous. Right?"

Lennox: "Don't grill them so much."

Figaro: "Right, right. They came back in one piece so you can let them off, no?"

Mithra: "Come again? To begin with, you guys are impotent, so of course, things would turn out this way. And you, Figaro, why did you bother accompanying them? Have you fallen so low that you've become unable to protect these two?"

Figaro: "Now, now, calm down."

Rutile: "There's no need to get this angry. We've brought you a special souvenir, you see."

Mithra: "..... A special souvenir?"

Mitile: "Over here. Come with us, please."

(Dining room)

Mithra: "..... What is this?"

Rutile: "It's an entire feast we prepared, all for you, as you can see!"

Mitile: "We had Mister Nero help us make it!"

Mithra: "..... Huh? Including this animal's corpse?"

Mitile: "I-it's not a corpse! It's a roasted deer."

Rutile: "It looks like quite the delicacy. You like meat, right, Mister Mithra? I do hope it suits your taste."

Figaro: "Rutile suggested that we make a grand gibier feast for your birthday."

Lennox: "The four of us went hunting this morning. Sorry if we made you worry."

Mitile: "Yes, please rest assured, the hunt was a great success! I was very startled when a very big snake appeared midway, though..."

Rutile: "Its scales were rainbow-coloured, and it seemed to be poisonous, but it was so shiny and lovely!"

Mithra: "Hold o—... Please tell me you didn't touch it!"

Rutile: "It was a little further from us, but I managed to sketch it. I drew it really well, so I'll show it to you later. We've all been in high spirits since this morning. And so, happy birthday, Mister Mithra. Please eat to your heart's content!"

Figaro and Lennox: "Happy birthday, Mithra."

Mitile: "I only helped because Nii-sama asked me to, but... Happy birthday, Mister Mithra."

Mithra: "..... Goodness gracious. Since you didn't die, I'll turn a blind eye this time. But just so you know, there won't be a next time. In the future, I'm definitely coming with you."

CHAPTER 2

(Lounge)

Mithra: "There you are, Owen, Bradley."

Bradley: "Yuck, Mithra."

Owen: "Yikes..."

Mithra: "I was just thinking we could have a tea party, and here we've got the people for it."

Owen: "What's this tea party crap?"

Mithra: "We simply chat over a cup of tea."

Bradley: "He didn't ask what a tea party is. Why do we hafta do something like that..."

Mithra: "Earlier, the Western wizards asked me if us Northern wizards were going to hold one. According to what they said, you fall asleep faster after having fun at a tea party, so I thought I'd try it out."

Owen: "You're so easy to sway..."

Bradley: "Can ya even do one with three people?"

Mithra: "Just sit down already. Do you want to do it standing up?" 

Owen and Bradley: "Yeah, yeah." 

Mithra: "So, how have you been these days?"

Owen: "The absolute worst."

Mithra: "How come? Did something happen?" 

Bradley: "Just woke up."

Mithra: "When you say the worst, Bradley, weren't you hung upside down by the twins a while ago?" 

Owen: "I witnessed that too. It looked rather fun, I must say. How did you get yourself in that mess?"

Bradley: "Tch... They ordered me to go on some mission, but I just ignored em and skipped out. Apparently, that was enough to get to those damn geezers..."

Owen: "A similar thing happened to me recently. They were threatening me while also pleading me for help. They thought I'd listen to what they had to say if they turned into their adult form. It's absolutely sickening." 

Mithra: "If I don't obey them even after that and turn away, they'd have Oz bring me back."

Owen: "Same here."

Bradley: "One day it's all gonna be over..."

Mithra: ".....Talking about this is slowly making me angry."

Owen: "Hey, since the three of us have gathered today, how about we retaliate ourselves."

Bradley: "Count me in. But let's not overdo it, or Oz might show up. Let's do somethin that's gonna get those two real mad."

Mithra: "Then, shall we go to their residence? Rumour has it that they store powerful magic objects and charms there, and I want to take some of them while we're at it." 

Bradley: "Bastard... That's going a bit too far, dontcha think."

Owen: "It'll be a real pain later if they really do get angry."

Mithra: "It's going to be alright since it's my birthday and all. Isn't that what birthdays are for? A day when you can be selfish and say whatever you want. If it's for today, I can be forgiven anything, no?"

Owen and Bradley: "....."

Owen: "You're right. They seem to have a soft spot for birthday boys."

Owen: ("I should make a run for it as soon as we get found out.")

Bradley: "Fine by me. Let's give it a shot." 

Bradley: ("If somethin happens we can just let Mithra deal with it.")

Mithra: "Shall we get going then?"

Bradley: "They can't blame us if we get a lil rowdy, ya know how birthdays are."

Owen: "We're counting on you, birthday boy."

Mithra: "You ought to utmost thank me because if it hadn't been my birthday, we wouldn't be able to do this."

(Snow and White's room)

Snow and White: ".....M?"

Snow: "What is it with this sudden chill... I got this very loathsome feeling."

White: "Does this perhaps call for a punishment?"

CHAPTER 3

(Akira's room)

Akira: ("It's already this late, I should get going to Mithra's room...")

Looking at the clock, one could well say it's nighttime. On this very day, I was supposed to help Mithra, who was welcoming his birthday, fall asleep.

Akira: ("I just saw him receive sweets from the Central wizards, but I wonder if he's back in his room already...")

(Knock and door opening)

Mithra: "Good evening."

Akira: "M-Mithra...! What is it? I was about to head to your ro—..."

Mithra: "Do you know what this is?"

Akira: "Eh?"

Mithra boastfully showed off a very familiar-looking hat.

Akira: "...Is that Faust's hat?"

Mithra: "I received it as it's my birthday today. I've been fond of it for a while, actually."

Akira: ("He says he received it, but why do I feel like he stole it...")

Akira: "You should go and return it to him later since he probably got angry over it."

Mithra twirled the hat around his finger, showing no signs whether he was listening or not.

Mithra: "I don't know why, but for some reason, I'm feeling quite well today. I even feel like I could beat Oz and become the world's strongest wizard."

Akira: "A...ha."

Mithra: "Actually, Oz's mana would be the best present I could possibly receive. I'll go pay him a visit real quick."

I rushed to stop Mithra, who had began to make his way out the door with a light step, before he could leave.

Akira: "I-it's already late, so how about you leave that for next time? Instead, why don't you tell me how your day went?"

Mithra: "My day? Well, it was a rather busy one. In the morning, I was treated to the corpse of an animal. I also got angry with the Southern brothers who had left on their own, but the meat was good, so there's that. Later, Owen, Bradley, and I broke into the twins' residence. We did it because I can be forgiven all selfishness if it's just for today."

As he recalled the events that happened today, Mithra's voice was somewhat cheerful. He was like a happy child talking about the fun things he had done.

Mithra: "..... What so funny? You're quite the odd one."

Akira: "Ahaha, sorry, it's nothing."

Mithra: "A lot of things happened today, and I'm tired, so help me sleep, come on."

Is what Mithra said as he threw himself on the bed. I gently held his hand, enveloped in a pleasant feeling.

Akira: ("It seems to have been a birthday so fun, he didn't have time to spend by himself...")

Akira: "Good night, Mithra, and happy birthday."

Big thanks to @/_Zeotrope_ on Twitter for providing the raws for this story!

[violentviolette]

exactly! like, I dunno I much prefer "let's be friends and have some hang outs and chill and see if we vibe"

but so far all the people I've tried to do that with (and stated exactly like that too like I'm very up front) have immediately taken that as "let's immediately begin performing Dating and I am going to text u everyday and move right into mundane conversation/small talk about our days and begin placing lots of expectations about our communication and acting in certain ways" and its just like dude we've never even hung out once yet??? u can't possibly like me that much??? (that's not a self dig like its impossible to like someone deeply who u don't even know like they clearly just really liked the Idea of me)

like. I ghosted the girl I asked out because literally the next day after we made plans to get coffee and chill at the park she started spamming me with messages and talking about it specifically as a Date when thats not how I proposed it and started planning future dates and using very partner and dating language without me ever saying the same and like. it was just really overwhelming and weird and felt like we were dating before we'd even spent any time together like I know maybe 3 or 4 things about her and thats it.

and like I know I'm particularly uncomfortable with people being romantic towards me and having expectations of me but it still seems weird even from a normal perspective?

and I get that people are lonely and want partners but like. I do not develop affectionate feelings that fast but it makes it feel like I have to reject people before i even know them because I have to pump the brakes so hard so fast so I end up just ghosting which I know is rude and harsh but like. idk how else to handle when someone makes SO MANY assumptions about my feelings and our relation to each other before we've even hung out

[endydancer1]

We used to be strangers | Part 1

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and is heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression and thinking of suicide.

....................................

Y/N POV:

"Mrs. Lincoln, can you examine this patient, please? He came here about 20 minutes ago and I haven't found any other doctor who isn't at the operating theathre at the moment. Are you free now? " an older nurse asked me.

I just simply nodded. I looked at the boy standing in front of me. The boy wasn't older than 8. He was sobbing. His eyes were all red and about to start watering again any minute. He was holding his left arm rubbing it gently. Poor little boy. A reassuring smile appeared on my face. I crunched in front of him and looked at him.

"Hi. My name is Dr. Y/N. What's your name? "

"R-Ryan. " he said quietly with his lips trembling.

"So Ryan, is your mum with you?"

"Y-yea.. She.. She is at the toilet. "

"Okey, so come with me, I'll take a look at your injury and the nurse will send your mum to my ambulance as soon as she comes out the toilet,okey?"

He shyly nodded and followed me into my doctor's office.

" Ryan.. Sit down, please. Tell me, what has happened to you? "

" I-I.. We were playing hide and seek in the park.. And.. I tripped over a tree root and when I fell, I hurt my arm. " he sobbed again.

" Oh, I see. Can you show me your arm?" I asked him politely, because I saw how nervous and scared he was. He mumbled something like yes. I couldn't hear him properly. I examined his arm. It was only  a bit swollen with a large, dark bruise.

I told him to use ice pack on it. I also gave him a lollipop and with a small smile on my face I took him out to waiting room. Behind the door, Ryan's mum was waiting there for him to take him home. When they left, I went back to my office. I felt really tired. I had been up for like 32 hours. The night was really rough. Lots of injuries, cuts, blood was literally everywhere. I was sitting in my chair, eyes closed. I recall everything from previous night. A man in his late twenties with skull fructure, drunk girl with open leg fructure, some deep cuts, bloody injuries. Blood was everywhere. Even in my dreams. I had been doctor for just a few years and still the blood scared me. Not that I mind seeing blood, but it hunted me in my dreams, in my thoughts. I saw so many injuries in your life, after only 3 years as a doctor, I thought I had seen everything. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard someone screaming, I saw blood everywhere, cuts, bruises. It was so... Familiar, but still so.. Strange? Unknown? I don't know. One thing I know for sure is, that I hated to close my eyes. Especially, when I was home alone.

A knock on the door snapped me from my thoughts, from daydreaming (should I really call it daydreaming?). I opened my eyes slowly.

"Come in! "

The door slowly opened and a head with dark hair and brow eyes popped out. A warm smile appeared on his face.

"Hey, Dr. Y/N. Are you okey? "

It was Dr. Melendez. He was about 10 years older than me, Mexican, good-looking and in a good shape. I sighed and looked at him.

"No.. I am just tired. Thanks for asking." I smiled a little. He came to me and rubbed my shoulder.

"You should go home. Your shift is at the end. Go home, take a shower and rest. You've made a great job previous night. Now, you can go. You need to rest."

He was always kind to me. Yeah, he was bit mean in some ways, especially to residents, but if you knew him better, spent some time with him, you would know he is a good doctor and good person, in some ways.

I just simply nodded and stand up. I packed my things, still thinking about the blood and injuries. Melendez was still there, watching me. Sometimes, I felt like he actually...like me, maybe? Probably not. He was just casually... staring. I hung my scrub and put on denim jacket.

"Thanks, Dr. Melendez. See you soon. Bye." I smiled and waved him. I walked out of my office to waiting room. I said goodbye to nurses. I was slowly walking to the entrance, when I heard someone screaming code blue. I signed. Not again. I quickly ran out of the hospital. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people, but not right now. Fortunately, Melendez was there for them.

I was walking along the street, passing by the strangers. I stopped and looked around. There were many happy couples holding hands, kissing, hugging. Anxiety went through my body, I was shivering, my lips were trembling, tears started to falling down. I quickly ran to the end of the street stopping only near the high building. I didn't know who was living there. But I knew these walls, the brick on it, the roof so well. I spent most of the time there, trying to end MY time. I took a hard breathe and opened the front door. It was dark inside. Only a green neon light with the exit sigh was blinking a little. I pushed myself and started to walking up the stairs. When I was on the fourth floor, I pushed big brown door in the corner of the hall. The sigh on them said DO NOT ENTER, but it was always opened, so why should I kept myself away from the door? I had to hit the door hard with my arm at first, because it was a bit stucked. I opened the door and went inside. I closed quietly and sprinted up the staircase. The roof of the building appeared in front of me. The beautiful blue sky, shining sun, a gentle breeze. I inhaled it and walked over to the edge of the building. As always, I wanted to end it. End it all. In a second, everything would be away, I would be dead and no one would really care. The tips of fingers on my feet were hunging in the air. I looked down on the street. There are lots of people there. They are just... passing. Not paying any attention! They are chatting, laughing, not noticing someone is up there. Many things went through my mind. Everything what had happened in my life. I was flustrated, sad, angry. I hated myself. Deep inside me I wanted to had never been born. I was ready to jump.

Tom POV:

"Aaand.. Cut! Great job guys, I am proud of you. That was the last scene, so congrats to all of you. We've made it! You deserve a little vocation after these rough months. So go home, rest a bit. I'll see you next Saturday on the Wrap party. See you soon guys! " director said to us with a wide smile. All of us started clapping. Then we all went to our trailers to pack our stuff. It was strange feeling to go away after months of hard work,knowing I wouldn't meet anyone from the crew everyday. I felt kinda sad, but also relieved that I can spend some time with my friends and family having fun and chilling at home or in the nature. I needed this vacation.

I packed all my stuff, thinking about taking a nap at home and maybe going to pub later that night with Haz, Tuwaine and Harry. A knock on the door snapped me back to reality.

"Come in!" I shouted not turning around to whoever was behind the door.

"Hey Tom, I've just wanted to say goodbye, mate. I am leaving this evening. But I hope we will see each other in a few weeks. Come to US and we will party."

It was Zendaya. She laughed and hugged me saying goodbye. I will miss her the most from all of these people. She is like my sister.

" I'll miss you. Sure, I will be in the US as soon as possible. "I chuckled and hugged her back. When she was leaving she waved me and then went to the airport. I took my stuff and went outside. I wanted to walk a bit on the fresh air. I texted Harrison, that I was on my way home and then started walking among the streets. I was staring at my phone, scrolling the Instagram, not paying any attention to the surrounding world. Maybe it was a mistake, because I bumped into few people. I apologized and rather put my phone into the pocket of my jeans. It was really nice day. Sun was shining, birds were singing. I looked at the sky. I had to narrow my eyes, because the sun was shining really brightly. It thought that I saw someone standing on the edge of the building for a second. Well, I couldn't tell it was a person for sure. Maybe it was just a bird ... Or just a shadow.

[punkscowardschampions]

Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2  H2SO4 →  C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

[morbid-n-macabre]

Fayetteville, Georgia-

40 year old Chris Benoit was a famous WWE wrestler and family annihilator. The "Canadian Crippler", as he was known in the wrestling world, murdered his wife, Nancy, their 7 year old son, Daniel, then committed suicide during the 3 day weekend of June 22nd through the 25th of 2007.

On Friday Nancy lost her life. She was killed in a second story room; her limbs had been bound, a cord wrapped around her throat, and she was strangled. There were bruises on her stomach and back where Chris had presumably pressed his knee into her, and at some point she suffered a blow to the head. When she was deceased, Nancy was covered with a towel and a Bible was place near her body. Toxicology later proved that Vicodin and Xanax were in her system, but sources claim that these were her everyday medications.

It's believed that someone during Saturday night little Daniel was murdered in his bed. It's thought that Chris drugged his son with Xanax ahead of time, then suffocated him; many believe that Chris used his famous signature wrestling move, the Crippler Crossface, to end his child's life. As with his mother, a Bible was discovered in very close proximity to Daniel's corpse.

Throughout this weekend Chris had been in contact with his close friend and fellow wrestler, Chavo Guerrero. Chris had missed a show, which was very much out of character for him; Chris explained that both Nancy and Daniel both had a nasty case of food poisoning and he may need to take them to the hospital.

On Sunday, Chavo and a a few other wrestlers received text messages from Chris's phone. These messages named the Benoit family's full street address, stated that the garage door was open, and the dogs were chained up in the back yard.

Since I try to be as factually correct as humanly possible, I'm not real sure as to who initially discovered the bodies. Most sources state that the police were called to conduct a wellness check, but others say that the Benoit's neighbor, Holly Schrepfer, was sent to the home to check on the dogs thereby stumbling upon the crime scene. Chris had passed away from apparent suicide just after he sent those texts to his buddies. He'd gone into his workout room, stacked on 240 pounds, and rigged the weight machine to hang himself; the wrestler's neck had been broken. The home computer's search history showed that someone had recently researched "the quickest and easiest way to break a neck".

As for Chris's motive, some think that Chris murdered Daniel because he suffered from "Fragile X Syndrome", but doctors say that the boy did not have this condition. It's said that Daniel had needle track marks on his arms at the time of his death, that Chris had deemed Daniel small for his age so he was treating the 7 year old with growth hormone injections. It's also said that Daniel had been having a hard time in school, and was being held back a grade; it must be mentioned that the boy's teachers say this is absolutely not true. As for Nancy, it's rumored that there had been some recent problems in the Benoit marriage. The relationship had been a passionate one; at one time the couple had separated and Nancy had filed for divorce, but according to friends those troubled times had seemed to be behind them. Furthermore, the shape of Chris's brain definitely needs mentioning. The man had been a superb wrestler, willing to perform stunts in which few others would dare attempt. Due to this, Chris's brain had been severely damaged; he'd suffered multiple untreated concussions, a broken neck in '01, and the steroid abuse certainly hadn't helped his condition. During autopsy the athlete had ten times the level of testosterone in his system, and his brain was comparable to that of an 85 year old Alzheimer's patient. Matter of fact, had this tragedy not occurred, doctors say that Chris would've had maybe 10 months left to live.

Those close to the wrestler say that Chris had been acting increasingly strange before that tragic weekend. He'd been quoting scripture and seen with a rosary around his neck. The wrestler had not been a religious man, yet Bibles were found next to all 3 corpse; a note which read, "I'm preparing to leave this Earth" was discovered inside one Bible. He'd been having strange nightmares, and kept a diary in which he wrote to his recently deceased best friend, Eddie Guerrero. Chris had become paranoid, thought people were following him, he wouldn't even take his trash out to the curb for fear that someone would rifle through it. Chris wouldn't allow his son to play in the yard, he had began taking detours on his way home, and was adamant that Nancy not stay out late after dark. The man had been terrified that someone was watching him, planning something sinister against him.

For many, these are little signs that all was not well in Chris's mind; for others, it's proof that he truly had been in trouble. Maybe someone really had been following him, meant to do him harm. Some believe that Chris and his family were murdered, and yes it does sound preposterous, but there is some evidence which points towards it.

The most popular theory is that fellow wrestler Kevin Sullivan murdered the family, and he did have some pretty serious motive! Back in the day Kevin and Chris were very close friends who played adversaries in the ring; during this time, Kevin and Nancy had been married. You know how the wrestlers have their storylines? Well, the Chris/Kevin story eventually lead to Nancy, who played a character known simply as "Woman" in the wrestling industry, had been having an affair with Chris. Kevin, Nancy's then husband, was not only cool with this fantasy, but he helped to write the story! In order to make it more realistic, Nancy and Chris were seen hanging out alone, they were often purposely discovered out in public on romantic dates, etc. Well, eventually this pretend affair turned into the real deal; the pair fell in love. Nancy divorced Kevin and married Chris, understandably creating a rift between the three. Kevin always blamed his former friend for the disillusion of his marriage. So, knowing this, there are some things which do not sit right.

First, and this is chalked up to coincidence, but at 12:01 am on Sunday morning, before anyone was aware of the murders, Nancy's death was announced on a wiki page. This has been explained away as a silly fan prank, but it's still odd. More worrisome are the statements from Chavo, which have made many people question the whole thing. We've already discussed that he had been in contact with Chris throughout the weekend. He's stated that during an early weekend call with Chris, someone came to the door; Chavo listened to what he would later describe as a scuffle, then the call disconnected. A few hours later Chris contacted his good buddy to say that all was well, and he ended the conversation with "I love you Chavo". This unnerved Chavo; he said that Chris sounded tired, and he was concerned for his friend. Again, Chavo and Chris had been very close, they hung out all the time. One of Chris's final texts to Chavo read, "My physical address is 130 Green Meadow Lane, Fayetteville Georgia. 30215". Why would Chris send his best buddy his address when Chavo knew exactly where he lived? Though I can not confirm this, it is reported that some of these texts were sent after Chris was already dead. Another bothersome fact, there were empty beer cans found near Chris's corpse, but autopsy concluded that the wrestler had not been drinking. So, who drank all of that beer? And do you remember the neighbor lady, Holly Schrepfer? She claims to have seen another wrestler near the Benoit home during this weekend, a wrestler who had absolutely no reason to be there. If all of this weren't enough, these murders took place on the 10th anniversary of Kevin and Nancy's divorce!

Now I'm not giving my opinion on this case, just telling you what I found during my research. That said, one thing is for sure: it doesn't appear that police conducted a thorough investigation of the case. It was automatically deemed a family annihilator situation, and that was that; Nancy's family claims that the police had left behind suitcases of steroids; these definitely should've been seized during the a search of the home. If they missed illegal substances, what else didn't they pick up on?

http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/24-reasons-that-will-prove-that-chris-benoit-is-innocent.453787849/

Out of this entire case, one fact chilled me to the bone when researching this case. You'll find very little mention of it, but young Daniel had a large kitchen knife tucked under his pillow at the time of his death. Why would a 7 year old boy be sleeping with a knife? Was he afraid, and if he was, of who? What did that child know, what had he witnessed during this weekend of hell? Had he been aware of his mama's murder, was he aware that he was next?

*There's much, much more to this, I could be here writing for a few more days but I wanna go ahead and post this. If you'd like to jump down this vast rabbit hole with me, here's a link to get you started. You gotta check the facts with links like these, but this one will get you started. Let me know what you think!