#we've had this conversation several times it never fucking goes anywhere

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Mad at my professor again lmao

[je-suis-problematique]

You CANNOT tell me that the conversation Sengo had with Kar'niss about wanting to pursue a relationship with Halsin went well. NOTHING you'll tell me will convince me that it went smoothly, NOTHING. Because like we've already established before, Kar'niss has mashed potatoes for brains and his emotional regulation skills are worse than a toddler's. I wouldn't call him possessive but he grew to accept Sengo as the one, single reliable constant in his otherwise extremely chaotic life. If EVERYTHING ELSE went wrong Kar'niss could ALWAYS rely on Sengo to be there for him, with him, through EVERY step of the way, good and bad, thick and thin. Sengo is like a beacon of clarity and reassurance in a turbulent sea of confusion and blackness for Kar'niss. So Kar'niss suddenly learning – and UNDERSTANDING – that there is another man Sengo likes who might take Sengo away from him? Even if Sengo reassures Kar'niss that it's only an infatuation that he wants to carefully explore and that he'd never ever think of leaving Kar'niss behind for anyone, there IS a chance, no matter how slim, that Sengo WILL be whisked away from him by this other man Sengo now likes in the same way he likes Kar'niss. And Kar'niss CAN'T have that. He goes BATSHIT.

Because for Kar'niss, losing Sengo would mean more than just losing his best and only friend, his partner, his mate, or even his prey if Kar'niss is in A Mood. For Kar'niss, losing Sengo would mean losing that beacon of clarity and reassurance Kar'niss sees in him and being left alone in the dark. It would mean suddenly being in a freefall into everything Kar'niss can no longer understand or make sense of after he lost his mind. It would mean remaining alone in a hostile world where the only thing he knows how to do WELL is kill. And that's scary. Terrifying, actually, and the first time Kar'niss hears about Halsin he PANICS, and his panic turns into unbridled rage. He's not mad at Sengo, most of his rage is directed at Halsin for daring to threaten his sense of security by making Sengo want to leave him, but then his unstable little brain starts working overtime and suddenly he feels.... like he might be inadequate? That Sengo might want to leave him because he's simply not good enough for him? Is it the fact they can't properly mate like a real couple? Is it the fact that Kar'niss is inattentive and forgetful on the best of days and that it takes a lot of effort just to relay a simple sentence to him? Is Sengo tired of how damaged he is? Does Sengo want someone who isn't completely and utterly broken? And that's when the tears come, and Kar'niss promises he'll do better, he'll BE better, he's sorry he's like this, he'll learn how to be normal just please, please don't leave me. He begs and pleads and it absolutely TEARS Sengo's heart APART and now his main objective is to calm Kar'niss the fuck down before this already dreadful conversation can progress anywhere else.

Once Kar'niss is relatively calm again Sengo decides to put this particular topic on the back burner and let Kar'niss recover. In the meantime he goes and relays EVERYTHING that went down to Halsin and the two of them are kinda at a loss because they don't want to proceed behind Kar'niss' back but also there is virtually no way for them to help Kar'niss think about this shit rationally. So, they go to Mikhail, who literally specializes in treating insane people as the Faerûn version of a licensed psychotherapist (who is also permitted to medicate).

Mikhail is a bit busy with the whole uh illithid-parasite-shadow-curse-Ketheric-Thorm-Moonrise situation but he makes time to handle this bullshit, mostly because he was lowkey treating Kar'niss anyway and helping deprogram the Absolute from his brain (also I know the Halsin romance happens LATER in the game but in Sengo's canon it happened earlier because it just happened earlier, I don't make the rules). Mikhail has several LONG talks with both Halsin and Sengo about the subject where they discuss all the sticky feelings involved but also Kar'niss' condition, and what would be the best way to approach Kar'niss about this issue to make sure he feels like he has the right AND ability to refuse if he feels uncomfortable WITHOUT flying off the handle and getting angry. Mikhail also noted that they should try telling Kar'niss that Halsin is an ADDITION to Sengo's love life and not a replacement for Kar'niss. That Halsin and Kar'niss CAN learn to co-exist and work together. That Halsin isn't a THREAT, not to Kar'niss' relationship with Sengo and not to Kar'niss' sense of security in the world. And now, armed with all of Mikhail's therapy talk, Sengo and Halsin go on to try talking to Kar'niss AGAIN.

NGL, Kar'niss nearly beheads Halsin when he sees him but Sengo manages to calm him down enough to at least let Halsin talk and explain himself. The second talk goes.... better than the first one. They say everything that Mikhail told them to say and they speak slowly and carefully using simple wording. Sengo had to admit it was the first time in a while he saw Kar'niss so FOCUSED and ALERT, but it worked in their favor because Kar'niss understood what they ACTUALLY meant this time. It takes Kar'niss a few moments to spit out a proper reply but he basically says that he would like to think about it. That's already so much more progress than him breaking down completely at the mere mention of Halsin.

[thirstofgames]

kitty and the jailbird

#️⃣2️⃣

-IT'S A MATCH-

A blank chat popped open and Damien stared at it for a second. He had honestly not expected it. The girl actually swiped him right. He looked at the clock impatiently; he did not have much time left in the library. There was a loud shout from the hallway, his muscles tensing, ready to hide the phone and bolt at any second.

He regretted that last question right as he pushed send. It sounded so bitter in his head now. It was a dating app after all and she was a good looking young woman.

you there?

...

hello?

busy flirting with your other matches, huh?

And there it was all about to end, the hot topic of his whereabouts. And the swift and cruel rejection that followed. It had already happened one too many times! Could he go through his again? Was it worth it? His palms were sweaty, but he never felt so cold. If the ground could just open up and swallow him whole before she finished asking... 

No, sorry

Just a little surprised we matched

you can unmatch if you want

Well, what I want is to talk with you 😊

Your profile caught my eye

what part?

Your profile pic at first.

Most guys can't pull off the broken, deep and scowling thing

But... looks good on you.

you don't look so bad yourself-

but then I read your description...

and I have to know something

shoot 🙄

It was a simple Yes/No question, but it took Kate way to long to answer. She bit her lip, thinking hard on the possibilities. It was such an unfair question though. She was not going to leave, but was not going to pursue anything with him until she knew what he was in for and how long he was going to be locked up. She'd wasted enough years waiting up on others... 

I'm just a little confused 🤔

Are you really in jail?

you gonna leave if I say yes?

It really depends...

A bittersweet smile spread on his lips. What was he expecting from a girl like her? She probably had a nice job, a supporting family and tons of friends and... an actual future. Why would she even consider wasting her time with him? The little time he had left... Better to just pull off the band aid!

She felt to bad! She hadn't meant to disregard his feelings, but wasn't it fair to let her know what she was getting into? She didn't even know what he was expecting from the conversation they were having... She was curious, but she didn’t want to lead him on.

okay, let's just say...

the orange pants and barbed wire are real

OMG

I have so mane questions 😱

here we go...

What did you do?

Wait, where do you even hide your phone?

STOP!

enough with the interrogation, alright?

I'm just curious...

sure, but i'm more than just a prisoner

a little respect goes a long way

Kate’s heart sank. He was hot, but the prison was a serious issue... She supposed people were not lining up to get to know him. He seemed pretty well rounded and mannered, but he was very defensive about his crime. Did that mean it was something really bad? But he was on a dating app... so maybe he was getting out soon? 

You're right!

I'm so sorry 😓

Let's change the subject

Why don't you tell me what you're looking for

hmmm

What?

i'm thinking...

nobody's really asked me that before

Seriously?

most people stop talking to me when they find out i'm locked up

i don't really blame them. i'm rough around the edges.

She didn't say anything for a while and Damien started wondering if he should just close the damn phone and leave. He should also probably take a break from Lovelink after this... it clearly wasn't doing him any good. Dark thoughts swarmed his mind and he had to close his eyes and head his head back against the bookshelf to get rid of the harrowing feeling. Like he was falling in an endless pit...  

The screen showed him typing and deleting several responses. Kate pursed her lips, impatient. Had she said anything wrong? She’d never spoken to someone who’d been locked up, she was still unsure what could trigger painful memories, or just remind him that he was... not free. But he said he just wanted to chat and his profile mentioned 'deep conversations'... 

Okay, I'm not running away, for now

but...

But I can't really make up my mind

If I don't know anything about you

So...

alright

honestly I'm just looking to talk to someone from the outside

it can get pretty boring in here, just waiting around the clock

Let's be friends then 😊

I'll be your window to the outside world

If that's alright with you...?

Damien sighed on the other end. Beggars can’t be choosers. It was a step in the right direction though. Maybe he was not going to find the love of his life at the very fucking end of said life. He was not living in some fairytale! He was still going to die, alone and forgotten.

But maybe... just a little less alone at the very end of his road. One friend meant more than none and maybe, just maybe... he could tell her his side of the story. Eventually. She seemed patient and understanding enough. Let at least one person out there know he did not murder his own father. 

sure

that's more than most

Of course a pretty thing like her got a lot on attention... She was only chatting up with him because the others were offline- 

but it must have been pretty bad to be such a long sentence

you still can't tell me what the crime was?

look, i've been making my own rules my whole life

you better ask what crimes I DIDN'T do

wow...

i'm no bragging or anything, just letting you know where I'm at

anyways, I'm more interested in what you're all about

what are you doing on an app like this?

Honestly...

I was about to uninstall it right before we matched 😅

Oh

you already found the one?

or no luck at all?

Well, I went on a few nice dates...

i see

Suddenly his experience on the app seemed less awful. Maybe it was not the right place. Or perhaps it was just the place for a misfit like him, here with all the weirdoes and con artists. 

And then they ditched me for their exes

Just my luck 😂

Oh and I swear to god if I see one more vampire 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

vampires?

Yeees

You wouldn't believe some of the things I saw...

OMG, one dude was actually dresses up as a centaur

I...

don't even want to ask

There's also the 'prince' scam going around

Dudes claiming to be the heirs of some  

Made up countries and asking you for money

It wasn't quite a rejection, but it still hurt a little. She already mentioned twice she was only interested in him as friends. She didn't need to spell it out every few minutes! But she was the only one... 

Met some nice people too ☺️

Actually became good friends with some

Which is nice since I just moved here

were did you come from?

Pallay 💜

you're a long way from home

I know 😢

I suppose it was getting kinda lonely

My friends and family come visit when they can

But that's not a lot...

what brought you here?

Got a really good job opportunity

But I didn't quite realize how far away I'd be

So yeah, to answer your question from before...

I'm kinda just chatting with new people

Made more friends than anything else lol

Hope that's aright with you 🤗

A smile crept on his lips. An actual, genuine smile. How long had it been since he had any reason to? God, it felt good to talk to someone! Someone who didn't know him, who didn't shout 'walking corpse' after him, didn't judge him. He almost felt like his old self. Almost. 

i'm cool with that

Great!

Looking forward to getting to know you, Damien 😄

so let's get to it

tell me about yourself

hobbies, favorite food, anything

my hobbies are always changing 🤔

I start something new every month or so

Oh, and I started volunteering at a vet lately

🐱🐶💕

With a friend I made on this app

it suits you

Hmmmmm how would you know?

We've only just met

just a hunch

I could secretly be evil 😈

you couldn't hurt a fly

besides, I've seen evil and believe me

you're not it

I'm guessing you're not going to elaborate on that

Are you?

see, you know me so well already

Smartass 😝

 At lest until she finds out.

And I love food 🤤

Who doesn't? lol

But picking a favorite is like... impossible

I do have one hell of a sweet tooth  🍫🍬🍦

I'm soooo jealous

I miss making my own meals

That's right! You probably just have a cafeteria.

I'm so sorry 😓

it's cool

i'm glad we have something in common

Is there any food you miss?

Wait... was there even steak in that picture? Kate felt her ears burning, the fluffy pajamas studently itching at her skin.

just makin my own in general, being in charge in the kitchen

Damien scrolled quickly through his phone, the memories leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He nearly didn’t send the photo. It felt like so long ago, a different time...a different person. But it felt so good to remember! To be reminded of the more happier moments when he had all his life ahead of him! And showing her a piece of his past may make her curious enough to stick around for a while longer.

He hit Send.

-Tap to download photo-

Oh

Looks... delicious

you like steak? 

Oh yeah, the food 😳

Wish I could have a bite of that hahaha

So not so shy and innocent as she claimed. Good to know. Even if it didn’t lead anywhere, which he had to be realistic about - he was on death row after all - it was still fun. The most fun he’d had in a long while. It felt...nice.

HA!

i wish you could too 😏

The door of the library swung open hitting the opposite wall. The guard in charge could be heard arguing with someone. At least four voices. He had to move fast.

I'm really hungry now 😅

good

Kate stared at the screen, the little green light besides his profile picture going grey. She scrolled through the conversation as if to make sure she hadn’t just imagined it. She tapped the picture he’d sent, a small smile creeping on her lips. He looked so... normal. Well, more like smoking hot, but she expected some kind of dump, or some greasy repair shop, not Greek sculpture level abs. The boy should come with a warning! She was a sucker for bad boys, but had she gotten so bad that she was now considering a fucking convict? What if he was a murderer or something??

shit!

???

someone's coming

gotta hide my phone

talk soon

Be careful! 🙏🏻

Her ice cream, forgotten on the coffee table, had turned to soup.

What had she gotten herself into?

[yourmoonmomma]

Hey, I'm not asking for a reading, just for your opinion☺️ I'm not even sure if this is coherent and understandable bit I had to talk to someone who is more experienced in this😅 also I apologize in advance for this being half a novel omg.

So I ended a weird f+ 6 weeks ago. Major reason was that I had feelings and he didn't want a committed relationship. So far, so good. We were fooling around for 9 months, saw each other every week when we arranged a meeting and in between texted a little.

During these 9 months I never saw him in the city I live in or on the streets or anything.

Then we broke up and I was like "okay, you'll be fine. It just wasn't meant to be". Then 1.5 weeks later I had a first date again with a guy from Bumble. Way too early but oh well. On my way to the date I thought like "okay universe, if this thing with x is supposed to be, I guess I would see him around today".

During the date, which was nice but we didn't vibe, I completely forgot about x. And then we went for a walk up the nearest mountain/park and suddenly there was x. Him and his friends being the only ones there besides me and my date.

Weird but okay. I didn't think much of it, no contact, nothing. Expect a little heartache.

Then 5 days later I stumble into him again. Have a little freak out, because I was so shocked. Texted I didn't want to cut him off in a mean way, but I was in a hurry. I don't want bad blood, so I wanted to make sure, there's no misunderstanding. He thought I was initiating contact again, so we texted back and forth some small talk. Then I told the universe "look if this doesn't lead anywhere, don't make me see him please"

A week later I see him on the bus station AGAIN (I should mention that he lives close to me, so that was bound to happen, he's not a stalker but it still never happened in 9 fucking months). But I turned around before he saw me, because I was not ready for that and a potential conversation.

Then later on, I asked him if there's a reason we are smalltalking. He was confused, thought I would initiate contact and I thought he did, because I kept ending the conversation and he picked up again from a "ah cool". Several times. So the smalltalk was pointless, but it did have one good thing. I know that nothing would come out of texting again, even if we pick that up again after accidentally seeing each other. So I left him on read. I'm fine. Life goes on.

Uni starts again and I lie in bed before my first day in presence and think "okay universe, if it's not meant to be, then don't make me see him anymore. I'm fine without, please just let me move on". And next day, guess what. I'm seeing him on the busstation again. It's a huge place I live in and lots of people and students use that station. It's not like a small town😅.

So in conclusion, I'm pretty confused, because I keep asking or challenging the universe to stop and to give me a sign that it's over and done and good by not seeing him always the date after. And this is the 4th time that happened in 4 weeks. And never once did I see him on 9 months. Do you think these are just accidents or what could it mean?

I hope I can help then!! And don't worry about the length, I like to hear about what's going on in other people's lives 💕

It sounds like you're asking the universe to show you its over and done for good - despite it being fairly clear between you two that it IS over and done with. The Universe can sometimes appear to work in... funny ways. If someone has an important lesson to teach us (which I do think there's an important lesson here for you), the Universe wants to work with us to make sure we learn it. But sometimes, this means continuing to put that person right smack dab in front of us, to see if we've learned our worth, or whatever it may be. It could be coincidences, it could be a sign you two are meant to be, BUT I think it's probably more so the Universe challenging you back.