#we're making a film with a guy who looks like a shitty version of a shitty version of the joker

[jonny-versace]

The thing is, I'm not against reviving The Crow, but like.... There's only one Eric Draven, there's only one Shelly. There's only one moment in time where you get Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Rage against the Machine, Pantera, Stone Temple Pilots etc on one soundtrack. Like it's a film that is solidly of when it was made. I fully support more Crow films, but the new one being a reboot of a film that's literally perfect is so stupid and setting it up to fail

[theoneiroveil]

Did you wake up on October 1st, 2016 to a very strange channel in your subscription box on Youtube?

Well if not, here is a little bit that channel.

Soursalt is a series that began in 2016 with roughly 600 people waking up subscribed to it without knowing. That's a very real thing that happened, which is a great selling point of the story.

Over the next few days these weirdly edited potato-quality home videos get uploaded and nobody has any idea what's going on. Some descriptions keep changing, some are pieces of conversations, etc. People are immediately hooked because what the fuck is going on? Then Madman Re starts getting mentioned, is it a place, a God, Freddy Krueger, who knows. More cryptic and weird dream videos get uploaded and then suddenly there's a break. This is the end of the prologue of the story.

Suddenly, we started getting rapid fire uploads a few months later of these two idiots making a really shitty ghost hunter parody knock off sketch. This is basically meant to be like a needle in the haystack for viewers. There are moments in these videos that are completely filler and just dumb comedy or filler -- b u t there are teases that something is up sprinkled within these videos. You'll have one of them mention the path looks different (implying they scouted it out before hand), or they'll hear or see something the camera just straight up doesn't see of pick up. This continues on until it's obviously getting dark, but we don't see their journey home. Instead, a few days later, we're treated to another sketch. This time shit gets fucky.

The two do the Ghost Guy routine on a haunted road by the woods, but as the move past the housed area towards the side of the park, their patience with each other starts running thin, they start hearing strange things, and feeling off. After taking a break off the road in a nearby Gazebo, they find a mysterious grave site and a stuffed monkey. Here, we learn out of character that they were filming at locations posted on a strange forum ; the same one implied to have launched the Soursalt spread.

After getting covered in some shit, blood and rot the characters introduce the audience to the Madman of Re as Aidan "Ghost Guy" Calloway touches the Window of a spooky run down bus and a ghastly hand touches his back -- all separated thematically by … a Window.

And this is where Soursalt takes you, into the Window; a terrifying physical nightmare space that seperates the viewer from their body and traps them in their own mind, a mind that can be easily manipulated by the Madman of Re.

BUT WAIT

This is only the end's beginning.

Timeskip -- Seven Years Later:

The story returns with Eulacram on the eve of the Spread's seven year anniversary following Aidan as he struggles to live with the trauma of his past and present following the events he experienced in Soursalt. It's at this point where the shattering of Aidan's mind takes literal form and we're presented with various versions of him through a system that he calls the Crucible Channel.

Meanwhile, another entity has pursued the same goal as Madman Re and sought out those that were victims of various Spreads to put together what it calls the Eulacram Tribute, a tournament of survival that allows those touched by the Oneiroveil (the dream realm the Window is in) to compete for an evolution of their flesh. Aidan and the other Spread victims are unknowingly pulled into a shared dream where it seems reality is once again being manipulated as their lives are being toyed with. However, Aidan's access to the Crucible Channel may be prove useful in saving him and the other victims from this new nightmare.

Eulacram is designed both as an Epilogue to Soursalt and its own series. While Soursalt is to be seen as a more found-footage style story, Eulacram utilizes the idea posed by the prologue that the entity can create videos with dreams, to showcase a cinematic-like view of events within the story. Some episodes can transition between hand-held, cinematic handheld, and cinematic third person, to allow for a unique approach on telling the story.

New viewers of the series can pick up with Act 1 or Act 2 Eulacram (on 10/1/23) without having fully watched Soursalt or Eulacram's prologue ; which will allow for an easier transition into the new content while everything you need to know will be given to you through the story. Viewers of the past content, and even those part of the first 600 subscribers will get the full experience though, as they will have seen the journey of some of these characters from the beginning, understanding the trauma that led them to becoming who they are today.

Soursalt // Eulacram is unlike any other web series you have seen, or dreamed. It's dark, gritty, there's a talking lizard, it's sharp and brutal at times ; but comedic, light hearted and emotional at others. The characters feel real, their pain feels real. If you're looking for web series horror that breaks the mould, takes risks, and isn't afraid to pop out an eye or two… or three… or ---

Then on October 1st, 2023, you should wake up to a very strange channel in your subscription box on Youtube.

This is that channel.

[neon-green-reagent]

Ranked: Leprechaun

Yep. I watched every Leprechaun movie. And you know what? I'm extremely happy that I did. This series is an absolute blast. Maybe I can convince you of that. We'll see.

Leprechaun: Origins : The weird thing about this movie is that it isn't a bad film. It's just an extremely bad Leprechaun film. If you're unfamiliar, the Leprechaun is a mischievous, funny, quippy asshole. For whatever reason, they decided to make this version dead silent. So no more jokes. Also, it looks like a creature from The Descent. Just a gray goblin. That means we're now in creature feature territory, and I wouldn't really call this a slasher anymore. The movie is serviceable as a monster movie, but it doesn't do anything especially thrilling, and it kicks all the other movies right in the face by changing the main villain so drastically. Also, origins? Of who or what? The Leprechaun? It's set in modern day... I just don't...

Leprechaun Returns : Eeeeee, okay. This is the latest movie. They rerailed the derailment of Origins with jokes and quips and making it a direct sequel to the first film. And it's... pretty meh. You know how, when Jackie Earle Haley replaced Robert Englund as Freddy... It's not that it was a BAD performance so much as not the same? Feels off? Yeah, that. They're not recapturing the magic like they'd hoped. Not to mention the movie knows it's shitty, so it keeps winking at the camera, and I'm obstinately telling my screen, "no. No, I refuse to be in on the joke, shut up." The whole time. It had its moments, but they were few. This was mostly just me wishing Warwick Davis was back.

Leprechaun : The very first movie, yeah. We started with a fizzly little fart, truly. It's a movie that's shockingly boring. With a lot of battle of the sexes humor that had me screaming into my hands. Our heroes do a lot of nothing. And while Warwick Davis as the titular villain proves to be very memorable right out of the gate, they struggle to find things for him to do. Apparently this was a family movie that became an R-rated horror film via reshoots. There's a lot of him wandering around, finding a stranger, and doing something magically delicious to them. But those moments are a little too few and far between. Still, that pogo death tho.

Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood : Leprechaun in the Hood was a surprising success for the series. So they did it again. But worse? Not sure why you'd do that, but they did. Look out for a lot of special effects failures, uncomfortably close close-ups, and thin characters being stupid when the plot requires it. The kills are even hard to enjoy because of all the continuity errors within them. But if you're looking for a bad time while imbibing your drug of choice with friends? Here it is.

Leprechaun 2 : They were still pretty sure everyone wanted to see a constantly arguing couple fight the Leprechaun, and that's a shame, but at least he gets to do more here. The cast of characters is much more colorful than the first film, with a lot more silly gags and over the top acting. Basically, it takes a couple of movies before I decide a franchise isn't for me, and this is the point in my journey when I saw this had immense potential. That it was beginning to live up to with this extremely wacky and fun villain.

Leprechaun in the Hood : This film is incredibly well rounded. You care about the characters. I know, what a shock! In my comedy horror series? The deaths hold weight. Leprechaun being out of his element and still managing to rule to roost is very amusing. Ice-T knew what movie he was in. There is a major misstep with a trans character; I want to be clear and warn about that. But that is genuinely the only thing the movie gets wrong. It handles the plight of inner city guys just trying to make it better than you'd expect. While also being openly so bad, it's good.

Leprechaun 4: In Space : You read that right. Leppy-poo can join the ranks of Pinhead and Jason Voorhees. Also, he's treated like an alien? Instead of a magical creature from folklore? And it's Aliens but if it was stupid? And there's a morally bankrupt scientist who talks in a kind of wink-wink German accent. Who also becomes a parody of Brundlefly. Throughout the course of the movie, the Leprechaun has a lightsaber, gets blown up, returns to life by crawling out of a penis, flattens someone's face cartoonishly with a pan, becomes giant, explodes in the vacuum of space... I love this. Okay? I love this.

Leprechaun 3 : The perfect Leprechaun movie. They figured out FINALLY that what we want is MORE LEPRECHAUN. More of him hamming it up. More mugging for the camera. Weirder, magical kills. Warwick Davis having the time of his life. MORE MORE MORE. And we got it. Set in Las Vegas, which is perfect considering all I just said. A city of excess for a film of excess. There are human villains, plucky heroes. A guy starts turning into a Leprechaun and eating too many potatoes. This scrumptiously dumb shit is what I live for with this series. This is the tiptop of cheesy horror comedy goodness.

So Leprechaun is one of my favorite slasher villains now. My respect for Warwick Davis for bringing him to such vibrant life is through the roof. Man's a genius. It was also stunning to watch someone with a disability do the majority of his own extremely physical stunts in these films. What a fucking king. I'd love to see him return to the series, and until he does, if more of these get made, I'll watch with... my expectations sadly lowered.

[oldfritz]

for the ship bingo: pruhun, fruk, and frederick the great/his own wife

ok first off, dear anon, thank you for including three ships i have Thoughts about. blowing you a little kiss. my thoughts are under the cut to be respectful of everyone else's time

PruHun

this is my crack, this is my heroin, it's the air i breathe. gun to my head, if you asked me to pick my one supreme OTP it's them. i don't even care about the historical grasping of straws you gotta do to "justify" it - though that is fun! - they're just...so compatible. i could wax poetic on gil + erzsi for hours on end, but i try to let my fanfics do the talking on them and, brothers, their ao3 tag alone proves how much i have to say on them. the worst part about my love of them though and going back so hard into my own fanfic-verse is that...well, i'm picky now. there's a specific version of pruhun i'm looking for and there's been one or two other authors on ao3 (in english!) i found who even came close but my favorite of which deactivated (cuneifire, whoever you were, i miss you </3). thankfully, there are quite a few fanartists here with the same vision but nothing compares to the written word. i'm trying to keep this reasonable since there's three other ships to talk about, but you get the idea. you ever need someone to fangirl over gil and erzsi, i'm your girl

FrUK

as i've said before, it took me a hot minute to get into them because i was such a USUK fan. but...i'm english, i am a casual enjoyer of english history. shipping them was bound to happen, though it did take me becoming closer to adulthood and engaging with more books, film, and tv with some fucked up psychological themes to 'get it.' i don't like when it's all cute and fluffy for them, i just can't buy into that. you're telling me that these two ancient entities and former superpowers who got into wars against each other on virtually every fucking continent are now, what? snuggling up together in front of the telly while francis reads and arthur knits? what's next, ivan and alfred making sweet tender love in the ISS? ('yes,' i hear you guys say, 'that's what exactly what we're saying you curmudgeon'). keep the frog and the limey's love affair toxic!!

Fritz and....Elisabeth Christine

kinda have to put my historian hat on for this, but i can't ship this. i know too much. you have to be either homophobic or incredibly ignorant on european monarchy in the 18c. to look at these two and think 'wow! such love and tenderness here!' he was repulsed by her before he even met her. upon seeing her for the first time after the seven year's war, he told her she'd gotten fat. one member of elisabeth christine's staff, who really admired fritz, resented how terribly he treated her! modern historians (myself included) are flummoxed at why even after his death she retained any loyalty to him. as i circled above, it's so bad and atrocious that it becomes almost comical. i wish FW1 had allowed fritz to marry his cousin, not for any 'rule britannia' reasons, but because i wish elisabeth christine had had a chance to marry someone who would've at least tolerated her and not torn her down in every conceivable way with his equally bitchy sister!! modern AU where she divorces him and she works as a translator without having to be chained to shitty men like frederick (and so he can just marry katte, fredersdorf, or some man. some poor man take one for the team. be a feminist)

[lunaneko14]

Tumblr "activism" in 2017

Tumblr activists: Omg I hope Ghost in the Shell fucking flops! Whitewashing piece of shit!(┛◉Д◉)┛

Japanese people in Japan: Actually it looks pretty good. The actress looks very much like the character and I'm excited to see it! （＾ω＾）

Tumblr activists: OMGSH what about Asian actors and actresses?????? You know the same demographic that doesn't do shit for other minorities even when they do have platforms yet want the same outrage and respect? THINK ABOUT THEM!!!!! What about X actress (even though she's Korean)? What about X actress (even though she's Chinese)? They could've hired them!(┛◉Д◉)┛

Tumblr Activists: I'm so excited for Moana! Another princess of color! Suck it Frozen!(╹◡╹)凸

Actual Hawaiians: Actually its pretty insulting that they just blended a ton of cultural references from our diverse cultures into a pretty bland princess story. And why are they obsessed with coconuts???? ಠ_ಠ

Tumblr Activists: *Listens to pirated version How Far I'll Go for the 200th time* ♬♫♪◖(●。●)◗♪♫♬

Tumblr Activists: I LOVE LA LA LAAAAND! It has a very diverse cast and a beautiful love story! (♥ω♥*)

Black People: Actually its pretty insulting how its yet another white savior movie about jazz music while a black man is portrayed as a sell out to Jazz music. Also why are black people only backdrops to this terrible sounding white guy? If you wanna support African Americans there's this movie called Moonlight..... ಠ_ಠ

Tumblr Activists: *Listens to pirated La La Land soundtrack for the 2000th time* ♬♫♪◖(●。●)◗♪♫♬

*Moonlight wins Oscar and gets attention*

OMGSH I love this movie! It has non stereotyped gay characters, and not only that gay BLACK characters!!! #Blacklivesmatter!!!! *continues to listen to La La Land while never actually going to see Moonlight*＼（＾０＾）ノ

Black People: ಠ_ಠ

Tumblr Activists: OMGSH FUCK PIXAR! They stole the idea for Book of Life for their shitty knockoff! Make this shit flop!!!!(┛◉Д◉)┛

Actual Mexicans: Actually the director and creator of Book of Life said on Twitter that the story isn't true and we're actually pretty excited to get 2 big budget movies about Dia de los Muertos, it helps spread awareness of our great culture. （✿＾－＾)

Tumblr Activists: FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!(┛◉Д◉)┛(┛◉Д◉)┛(┛◉Д◉)┛

Actual Mexicans: ಠ_ಠ

Tumblr Activists: OMGSH Disney is so brave and bold for adding an actual gay character in Beauty and the Beast! Such a touching tribute to Howard Ashman!

LGBTQ: Actually its pretty insulting that they'd announce a villainous fool as a gay character even though in the original he's a symbol of gay oppressors and they screwed up the meaning of the curse in this remake. Howard Ashman wrote all these songs while on his deathbed from AIDS........why is Emma Watson auto tuning them?????? Why couldn't they get one of the talented actresses/singers from Musical Theatre where Ashman got his start and inspiration for (and even got Jodi Benson and Paige O Hara from) Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast????? ಠ_ಠ

Tumblr Activists: Emma Watson is so perf for this role! Making Belle more feminist than that dumb mary sue original and not wearing a corset! #GIRLPOWER （✿＾－＾)

Actual Feminists: Emma Watson is a spoiled twat who takes topless photos for magazines while demonizing Beyonce (a woman of color) for taking charge of her sexuality while literally stealing Beyonce's feminist poster from a performance, *sources* ಠ╭╮ಠ

Tumblr Activists: *Listens to pirated Beauty and the Beast 2017 soundtrack* d(^_^)b

Actual Costume Designers: If Emma didn't want to wear a corset why would she accept a role based on 18th century France where corsets are the norm and ruin the authenticity of a film???? Actually the new dress is way less accurate than the 1991 version and is very unpleasant to the eyes. She stole the job of a female costume designer for this????? ლ(ﾟдﾟლ)

Tumblr Activists: Not that important ¬_¬

Actual Costume Designers: Actually we go to college for this sort of thing and we study for hours for every costume we design and make especially period pieces and this may have been this poor girl's first big gig and Emma Watson strolls in and creates this eye sore that she'll never have to take responsibility for because the costume designer's name is still on it....this could end her career!!!! ლ(ﾟдﾟლ)

Tumblr Activists: *Listens to "Belle" LOUDER* d(^_^)b

LGBTQ: Actually if you want to support a gay character.....there's one in Power Rangers that's a woman of color and her sexual identity is pretty blatant and not stereotyped. Her story arc revolves around being a lesbian in a very homophobic household.....it would be really neat for this to be a success so we can see more of her character in a sequel. （⋆＾－＾⋆）

Tumblr Activists: *Listens to Evermore LOUDER* d(^_^)b

Tumblr Activists: We're Helping!

Japanese/Polynesians/Hawaiians/Mexicans/LGBTQ/Feminists/Black People/Professionals: *Looks into camera Office style* ಠ_ಠ