#we'll see how that goes another day

[mcnecklong]

My favorite responses so far to me getting a moped:

- if I put a ramp down on a truck will you drive up it like you're in an action movie?

- they scoot!

- fast furious but all the cars are replaced by Fable on their moped

[zephyrartz-owo]

Mental Health Tip! Don't skip meals lest you be fighting demons

[becauseplot]

Penciled Lines

(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)

Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.

Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.

And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.

Missa can hardly breathe.

Oh no.

He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.

Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.

“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.

Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.

Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line. 

So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.

Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under. 

Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.

~*~

A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.

Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

[gingermintpepper]

Mother Love - Demeter and Persephone in poetry

Alright, so, let's finally talk about Mother Love.

I've spent the past couple of weeks compiling most of the poems from my physical copy of Mother Love into a publicly accessible google doc because there is a quite frankly embarrassing lack of archiving of this particular anthology of Dove's work and I am genuinely and greatly saddened that it is not a work more commonly brought up when discussing Demeter/Hades/Persephone retellings and reinterpretations for modern audiences.

In order to speak about what Mother Love is, I first need to address what it is not. It's not a coming of age story which portrays Persephone as a caged bird under a too-smothering Demeter. It's not a love story where Hades is some valiant hero who rescues an innocent maiden and through his love empowers her to be her truest self. It does not demonise Demeter, who has forever lost her daughter, it does not demonise Hades, who took that daughter away.

Instead, Mother Love is, perhaps, the truest interpretation of the themes of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter that I've seen, down to the structure of the anthology mimicking the hymn's narrative structure. It is the story of a mother who loses her daughter, of the grief that ensues as she worries for her, of her being pitied and given empty words instead of help finding her, of her trying to soothe herself by filling the void with new children that are not her own. It is the story of a daughter who loses her way, who went seeking flowers and was unwittingly caught in the machinations of those in higher positions of power than her, of the kingdom she is promised and refuses, of the changes she goes through in this new, strange world without her consent and how those changes will define her the rest of her life. It is the story of a lonely king overrun with ennui who wants companionship but never asks, of he who tries in vain to tempt with wealth and land and must ultimately yield to the love of a mother. Not even the lord of the dread Underworld can escape that all-consuming mother's love and this was a theme found all over greek mythology and their literature, and it is also the theme that has been unfortunately and miserably lost as we've told and retold the tale of Hades and Persephone time and time again.

Please, please read this work, and if you enjoy it, do consider picking up an actual copy of the anthology. There is so much to be gained from speaking of the Demeter/Hades/Persephone myth as one of nuance and devoid of the unnecessary moralisations and accusations that we habitually foist onto cultural figures and heroes in an attempt to validate our opinions and interpretations to our peers. In my compilation, I did leave out three poems: Breakfast of Champions, Blue Days, Nature's Itinerary, mainly because I did not think they were relevant -- but I'm always open to requests for those poems to be added to the doc if anybody gets curious. Below I've also attached a few of my favourite short poems from this anthology so people can get an idea for the content that is included in the doc.

@gotstabbedbyapen who requested a way to read these poems but could not find them, I sincerely hope you enjoy them <3

[wolves-in-the-world]

I'll be real with you all, I glanced back over the screenshots I took while rewatching the jailhouse job recently and a) I have no spoons for organising this shit and b) kind of want to rewatch again now.

it was a delightful ep for both Eliot Being Mean & earring sightings, though.

[loumauve]

still got an occasional gross cough and a bunch of anxiety over being back at work with a certain horribly exhausting person but prolonging the stress will prob make it worse so I might as well go back to work tomorrow.

I stress cleaned everything in my flat today except the piles of washed clothes and unwashed dishes so things are back to normal once more, and then I sorted out all the stuff for upcoming project + exam prep and packed my bag for tomorrow and laid out clothes so I'm as ready as I can be.

gonna be exhausted tho bc it's already 11 pm and I gotta be up by 4:30 am at the latest if I wanna be at work at my usual time. I don't have to be there at 6:30, I could go there at 9 or 10 even but then I would have to stay late and deal with people right away, which is a strong hell nah for me

[skitskatdacat63]

Lmfao my mom was getting on me abt not having enough to do this upcoming semester so I decided ah okay I'll add another class. And that's perfectly fine. But the one I picked results in the majority of my schedule being generally unaffected and still lax, but my Thursday being absolutely fucked.

For reference, on every other day I'd spend like less than four hours in class/commuting(anywhere from zero hours to almost four), but Thursday, its almost 9 hours combined 😭 which is like fine with me, but I think ill despise thursdays after this, AND MY BIRTHDAY IS ON A THURSDAY :(

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 3

"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against

[running-in-the-dark]

the tiny bit of consistency that I had in my sleep schedule has disappeared entirely. I sleep when I sleep. I never know what day it is. I've lost all sense of time. when does a new day start? no idea. it's 3 pm and it feels like it's the middle of the night.

[sysig]

Things they don't tell you about playing 1-4 according to the actual dates:

I have been playing Ace Attorney for four hours and I'm still not done with the 26th despite it being well into the early hours of the 27th already

[hlvrai-stuck-together]

((OOC))

Sorry I keep updating at like. midnight. I honestly dont have an excuse besides i go to work and i get home and i'm tired fghsdajk

Gonna take me a little while to get into the swing of this. I've never done an askblog like this before (though I have hosted... technically 3 in the past? (EDIT: no, 4 actually.) But never like this, and none of them went anywhere), so trying to get into the swing of it has been weird.

Glad people seem to be enjoying it, though! I had no idea it'd take off like this, aha. Hopefully I can get a bit more consistent and stop uploading at 2 AM, lol.

That said, I don't know what my schedule's gonna be (if I even start one). So if there's a couple days where I don't upload, it's not because I abandoned the AU or anything, it's probably just because I'm busy IRL.

Feel free to keep sending in asks even if I'm not online! I've already got a lot of really good ones sitting there that I'm gonna hold onto for a bit (for. reasons).

This has been really fun so far, and I hope everyone's having fun, too! Just bear with me while I figure this out. I'm hoping to get out a ref of [ERROR] soon, and also stop calling him that soon, but getting into character is proving to be a challenge when you do it on and off like this. But that's never stopped me before and it won't now. Like I said, this has been fun so far!

That said, if anyone has any suggestions on a meta level, I'm all ears. I realize now that I've run into this basically blind, so even though I did a couple week's worth of preparation in advance for this blog, I'm also still floundering a bit. Learning more every day, though! And I'm hoping I can pick up the pace soon as well. After Day 1's rapidfire replies, going at a more leisurely pace feels really slow, and I both wanna fix that but also don't know how because, like I said, I keep uploading at midnight gfdshjk

TL;DR I'm working on it dw lol

-Mod Dimonds

[tenebriism]

Me: ayo wtf is this random chunky charge from Amazon? Me, remembering I pre-ordered FFXVI FOREVER ago, and it's literally about to be in my hands: Oh.

[apieceofsushi]

ladies and gentlemen the annual post you never asked for

summoning plans!! (2024 addition because man I have a mild addiction and as a f2p I cannot afford to be broke over banners I do not actually care about that much and-)

feel free to use this as well, I have found that it is rather helpful!

here's the initial layout (subject to change per the usual)

My ramblings under the cut :) :

Cutting down from last year's eleven banners to five?! insane. this is due to a) really thinking about what cards are actually the most appealing in my mind and b) time constraints. I really only play prsk for half an hour a day (at most, sometimes I may go a few days without due to having a life (a shock)), so I realized this year that the time required to successfully acquire the cards I wanted was nonexistent. so we're being reasonable! I think I had to cut out little bravers, the valentines event, both of the Kohane focus events, the toya dragon event, the Kanade Zamza (so excited for song btw) event, light up the fire, holy shit this is a lot, the latest akito event, and the third-anniversary event?? I mean, that last one should have the dream pick, so obviously, I'll try to pull a little, but we'll see how the savings are.

A reminder that doing these is kind of just a way for me to personally organize my thoughts and that anyone is welcome to try this!! visually this just helps me a lot.

Okay, now some more reasoning (again half for my own benefit) to pull on each banner:

In the Corner of a Resonant Town (ALL OF THESE CARDS ARE SO PRETTY WTF)

Shiho: I technically have a limited of her among a couple of other four stars, but the theme of this whole set shot an arrow through my heart the moment I saw it. It's just??? I have no words

An: similar reasoning as Shiho, I have her fest card and two other normal ones, bUt HeY oNlY tHe LiM cAmE wItH a CoStUmE-

Ena: did I just say that I was skipping her fest because I gained a lim of her this year? yes. do I still want this one and will fight to acquire it? yes.

Miku: I actually have a couple of Miku four stars already, but I feel like seeing her on a rate up nowadays is becoming...rarer? probably due to the need to put other virtual singers on banners to balance out how many she had at the beginning of the game, but there's no doubt the frequency at which she's on banners is significantly less (unless she's the focus or smth). not to mention that because she has six versions of herself, it's even rarer for one that you might like a lot to be on a banner?? so far this is one of three Leo/need Miku four stars, and the only one that's limited, so you know damn well that if it's this pretty I'm going for it.

Our Escape for Survival

So quick note: because this one is only a month after Resonant Town, idk how much I'll actually save for it. time-dependent ig

Mizuki: hot take the 3D outfit isn't that good but the art of it is AMAZING. I saw a comment somewhere saying "wow they look like k-pop idols" and as a fan of the genre my fate was sealed. while it is a mizuki banner, it's a limited one, so I feel like there's a bit more reason to summon. again, it's time dependent, so if I can't it's not the end of the world.

Mafuyu: MAFUYU. this card was my computer wallpaper for a period of time so it'd be a crime not to try for it. I'm trying to only get mafuyu lims/focuses as I have an abundance of her (as a mafuyu collector any mafuyu is accepted), and this one is really nice, and the hairstyle is refreshing imo.

Luka: partly out of desperation to get some of the newer virtual singer cards that release (many of the ones I have are quite dated at this point), but also this is so pretty hello?? easily one of my favorite Luka cards if not my favorite. k-drama set lessgo baby

Saying Goodbye to My Masked Self

Mafuyu: at this point I've come to accept that I automatically pull on Mafuyu focus banners, and that's been quite successful! the only mafuyu focus I still have not claimed is the intersecting melodies one (one day... one day...), so I can say that all normal rate-up banners have gone quite well. while I haven't been following the story very closely lately, I know that this event is very important for her arc, and as bittersweet as it is her trained card in this set is relieving.

Kanade: tbh her and ena are here because this is just a mafuyu focus that I will summon on, but hello they're actually pretty?? the cards in the Snow White set were mid outside of mafuyu (so basically just mizuki and rin), so I would happily pull more even if I already got Mafuyu. also. I currently only have one kanade card, and it doesn't have a costume, so I'd like to fix that.

Ena: same reasoning as Kanade (except I have a solid supply of ena cards and I just find this set pretty)

N25 World Link Event (oh boy)

Since all of these cards are fantastic (even if they're not limited (?)), I'll just come out and say that I love them all and I hope that they come home. Genuinely was at a loss for words when I first saw them and I'm very excited for the event when it comes to global.

Now, here I was thinking: man, with the Sanrio collab, I think that's a good amount of gacha for the year!

And then the new year banner came into existence. Not even kidding it has altered my plans so much, I won't go back and edit each thing as that's confusing but list them below:

Resonant Town will stay the same, I only need to do 200 pulls to spark for someone I want (as I have ten stickers, I'm assuming that's still how it works? I've never saved enough to spark lmao)

May skip Survival depending on how much I spend on the previous banner. It'll probably end up being leftovers from Resonant Town if I have any. But from here on out, it's hardcore saving time!!

Masked Persona will have to be a pull-until-Mafuyu-and-then-quit because as much as I could use a Kanade four-star, I'm hoping to get that from the World Link event. At this point, I make sure to summon on Mafuyu banners because I have all of her standard focuses, and I've been pretty lucky with not having to spend too much to get her each time (fingers crossed it stays the same).

World Link event will depend on what happens over the first ten months of the year (damn, they really had to put the best banners in the last two months of the year didn't they), but I hope to spend a bit on this one. Then again, there is the chance to get them on other N25 banners, so even if I couldn't get all of them I wouldn't be too worried.

Sanrio Collab (not pictured) is still a must!! If I have to limit the World Link event for this, then I shall! It presents the opportunity to pull for characters I don't usually want to (Saki, Airi, and Emu), so I'm looking forward to it!

New Year's Banner......all of these characters are stunning (and Mafuyu is a 3-star and an amazing one at that, literally better looking than some of the earlier four stars), so...I really don't have any words

Obviously, as the year goes on, I'll see how I feel about these sets, but I'm pretty happy that I managed I've managed to cut down on how much I want to summon (it's like a diet guys). Again, I put my thoughts down here not only because doing all of this rambling helps my thought process but also because I think it's helpful and encourages others to use it if they're unsure of what they want to pull on!! Happy New Year's, folks, I hope 2024 is a good one !!!

[allroseshave-their-pricks]

my valentine's plans? oh you know... the usual...

(going to the local Waffle House’s special “Love is Brewing” event on a double date with a girl who is mainly interested in me because Co-Star said she would have luck in Sex&Love on our first date, my best friend who I am a little bit married to, and his boyfriend who is trying to get a single med school to accept him)

(the girl and the boyfriend have the same name)

[justabunchofdragons]

also the feeling of winning a politically based argument with my dad is soooo fucking good