#we��d been discussing it for a long time so I’m happy he’s able to get it off the ground now. I hope people consider supporting!

[bluesidez]

hiii love 💗 may I request a nsfw and a sfw alphabet thingy for gymrat miguel. I just need more of that man 😫😫

[Gym Rat Miguel SFW + NSFW Alphabet]

lab tester: Anonymous Participant 🩻

pairing: GymRat!Miguel O’Hara x Chubby!Reader, PlusSize!Reader, fem!Reader

summary: Me answering questions and yapping about Gym Rat Miguel!

content warning: 18+ for the NSFW portion so MINORS DNI, most importantly THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS FOR THE ACTUAL STORY (nothing too crazy, but some of the questions are things that haven’t happened yet + they haven’t even been together a year yet in the current story so there’s still much to discuss), lots of fluff, possibly the incorrect use of a fidget spinner?? (it's cute I swear)

word count: 9.1k, halfway proofread (sigh...)

a/n: Hi hii!! 🩵 You don’t know how happy I was to receive this request!! Any chances to talk about my Miguels outside of their actual stories are golden. 🥺 I tried to keep the responses brief so about 2+ paragraphs per question but we all know how much I like to write and yap 😭 so there's bound to be some long paragraphs. I do hope you enjoy!!! (This also gave me a chance to flesh out his character even more, which I appreciate more than you know, so truly, thank you Anon!)

I just refer to GR!Miguel as Miguel here because…we all know who I’m talking about.

A = Affection How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a really giant heart so he’s extremely affectionate especially when it comes to his girlfriend. Usually, boys are taught to kind of control their emotions, but even with those teachings/societal rules hanging over his head, he was always a sweet and kind baby growing up. His abuela especially taught him to lead with kindness. 

ᰔ ᩚ He shows affection often through action. While he’s really familiar with all of the love languages, he’s quicker to do something for someone (acts of service) before he does anything else. His second most used love language has to be words of affirmation. Words and communication are a sensitive thing for him so communication is key even if he can be oblivious about it sometimes. 

B = Best friend What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is definitely the "dad friend," or really, the "parent friend" that’s always making sure you’re ok. He knows how to parallel park and owns at least two of the ugliest ties you’ve ever seen in your life (thank you, George). He’s also EXTREMELY huggable, even in his tall and lanky days, and gives really nice advice. If you’re struggling with something, he would lay everything out and help you problem-solve. Overall, he’s just very sweet. 

ᰔ ᩚ For Miguel, a friendship could start with you constantly talking to (bugging) him or being able to keep up with his nerdy hobbies. You want to hear him sort out quantum physics? He’s sold. On the other end, anyone who is nice to him and treats him like a human has a fair game of becoming his friend.

C = Cuddles Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

ᰔ ᩚ Does he? He craves it! He will literally stop what he’s doing to find you just to cuddle. It’s like a way to regain his energy if you're in his arms. At the same time, he’s very comfortable despite all that hard muscle. At home, he usually wears soft sweaters and joggers so he is indeed like a giant teddy bear. The older he gets, the more his body gains a nice balance between fat and muscle so it’s just really comfortable all around.

ᰔ ᩚ When he cuddles, he’ll usually shove his face in some plush part of you. He definitely loves laying on your chest which he lovingly calls his pillows or your stomach or your lap. He’s really clingy. If you’re out and about, he'll cuddle you from behind with his chin on your head or keep an arm wrapped around your hips. When you ask for a cuddle, he’ll gladly hold you on top of him and probably fall asleep. 

D = Domestic Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?

ᰔ ᩚ He wouldn’t mind settling down, but it depends more on how you feel rather than him. He’s heard many stories from his mother, Abuela, and tías about how hard childbirth is so he’s very wary of that pain being inflicted on you. His mother has told him multiple times about how giant he was when he was born so he’s scared that whatever baby he could give you might also be huge. After he learned of Tyler, Conchata told him that she wanted to cuss Tyler out, but all she had was George in the delivery room so he suffered her wrath not once, but twice. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has fantasized about you with his babies, but to his shame, it was more about the process of giving you his kids rather than having them run around. He has to admit, he would love to see chunky babies with a mix of you guys’ best qualities. One family reunion with you taking care of your baby cousins might put him in a spiral. He’s sure that you’ll be a great mama and he’s confident that he’ll be the best father. If that doesn’t work out, he’s aiming for tío of the year for the many nephews and nieces his brother is sure to have. 

ᰔ ᩚ In terms of domestic qualities, he’s spent so much time with his abuela that he knows more dishes than his mom. He’s also had times when his mom got sick of constantly cooking for him, so he’ll be up at the crack of dawn fixing his own meals. His cleaning could use a lot of work. He knows the basics, but his family always fusses at him to do more than that. In front of you? He becomes a new person. All of a sudden, he remembers the ways his mother fussed at him to clean the house.  

E = Ending If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

ᰔ ᩚ Even though emotionally he’s extremely mature, he’d probably be a wreck when it comes to breaking up with you. He loves very deeply and separating from you has a high chance of sending him to the ER. If he doesn’t pass out while breaking up, he’d definitely be extremely sick afterwards. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he had to break up with you, he’d do it face to face because anything else is an insult to you. It’ll be somewhere public enough that you’re free to walk away from, but private enough to where no one will be like “wtf is up with those two?” He'll write out what he wants to say a thousand times over and have his desk littered with notebook paper. In his ‘speech’ he’ll praise you heavily but say something along the lines of “even though you are my sun, I can’t continue to drain your light.” Just VERY dramatic and heartfelt. He’d probably be sick enough to puke after watching you go. 

[Good thing this will NEVER HAPPEN. Even I, the angst lover, can not take that torture.]

F = Fiance(e) How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is fully committed to you even without the ring. He is quite the planner, so as soon as he reaches the end of undergrad, he’s already planning out his proposal. Of course, he’s asked you how you feel about marriage and has peeked over your shoulder at your Pinterest boards so he has an idea of what you would like. However, he’s truly a romantic, so he’s pulling out all of the stops. 

ᰔ ᩚ He doesn’t feel the need to get married right away because you both have huge futures to explore, but damn it, he wants people to know that you’re taken, so maybe he’ll buy you a promise ring. He’s willing to wait until you both have stable jobs before making the huge step to marriage, but he fights the urge to propose to you constantly. He also spoils you like crazy and he wants to earn the money for your rings rather than asking his family for help.

G = Gentle How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is the definition of a Gentle Giant. Really, it’s something that first grew from his mom always fussing at him to be a big boy so as to not make Gabriel upset, but his Grandma has always been so kind to him because she felt that Conchata treated him differently than Gabriel. 

ᰔ ᩚ Physically, he’s always extra aware of his surroundings because now, not only is he tall, but he’s also wide. There’s a new strength to him that he learned to control after roughhousing with Gabriel got a little too rough, ending in a fractured wrist bone. Miguel was crying more than Gabriel on the way to the hospital. He ended up helping him in saxophone practice for weeks. For you, you’re like his personal weighted plushie. He’s not going to be too rough, just firm squeezes every now and then. 

ᰔ ᩚ Emotionally, he’s always careful of what he says to others. It takes A LOT for him to yell or blow a fuse. He knows how much words can hurt so he never wants what he says to be the reason that someone is hurt. He cries at the drop of a hat. He’s gotten better at not crying so easily, but he definitely can’t see people he cares about cry. That night that you sobbed in his arms, he cried a little with you then and a lot while you were in the shower. When you first got together, he feared that his tears might be the breaking point for you but every time he cries in front of you, you’re there to wipe them away. 

He’s definitely crying on your wedding day.

H = Hugs Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

ᰔ ᩚ He loves hugs, but he’s certain that his family is sick of his hugs. Just like how big dogs don’t realize how big they are when curling up somewhere, he is very similar when he goes to hug his closest family. His Abuela will often fuss about how he’s just a big baby and Gabriel sets a three-minute time limit, claiming that he’s going to transfer his body heat if he hugs past that. His dad is not really known for hugging and his mom gets irritated too fast. You are the only one who can stand his hugs that feel like they last a lifetime. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s hugs feel like really warm firm clouds. His waist is itty bitty so your arms can completely go around it but if you put your hands in other areas, he’s bound to start borderline purring. You’re a lot softer than him so he craves seeking you out for hugs. He likes to give them for any occasion: when you’re about to part, when you see each other for the first time in a while, when you finish a set, when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re out shopping and are indecisive about which color of a product you should buy, when you’re taking too long in the art store, when you’re fresh out the shower, etc. He’s just a cuddle bug read: clingy boyfriend.

I = I love you How fast do they say the L-word?

ᰔ ᩚ [According to the story] Miguel calls you his love over the phone during Thanksgiving break which is about four months after knowing you and about three months into dating. He calls you his darling by the time the New Year comes around, he also won over your mom a little after Valentine’s, and he admits to himself that he’s falling in love by the time the spring semester has ended.

ᰔ ᩚ He doesn’t say he loves you out loud until the dinner party after everyone pisses him off which is roughly seven months into dating. However, all of his actions from the handwritten cards to the handmade crafts to the thoughtful gifts to the sweet words have all been signs of his growing love for you. Quite frankly, he would have told you he loved you sooner if he didn’t want to freak you out and he tells you so the night his mother demeans you.

J = Jealousy How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?

ᰔ ᩚ You haven’t seen the extent of how jealous Miguel can get, truly, you just know of the couple of times he’s almost knocked people out or been completely rude to the people he’s thought were trying to lead you on when he was standing right there. He has shocked himself with how green he gets but it doesn’t stop him from feeling that way. When he gets jealous, he’ll find little ways to show others that you’re his such as PDA, lingering a bit too close to you, glaring directly at others whose eyes are planted on you for far too long, or getting really mean towards people who make advances.

ᰔ ᩚ Oddly enough, he’s never aware of the things that he does that attracts others because he’s so busy trying to be cordial that it may come off as flirty. It’s very hard for him to push people off him because that’s never really happened to him until he started bulking up and again, he doesn’t want to hurt people that haven’t hurt him.

K = Kisses What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s kisses are consuming and soft, warm and inviting. He gives you his full attention and pours his entire heart into it. The feeling of him against you only really leaves you wanting more, so you have to snap out of it and tell yourself to regain control. He could probably spend an entire day just in your face making out without ever going further, but he might need frequent trips to the bathroom to calm himself down. 

ᰔ ᩚ He likes to kiss you on your lips mostly but his other favorite places to kiss you are your stomach, your collarbones, and your thighs. He has to limit himself from leaving marks all over your skin because he’s keen to do it if you don’t stop him. He also likes to be kissed on the lips and he especially loves it when he doesn’t expect them. Surprise kisses have him on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. He really loves it when you won’t bother to reach up to him or lean him down and you settle on kissing him in the middle of his chest. It feels like your lips warm up his heartbeat. Lastly, he feels ignited when you leave kisses on his back, especially the back of his neck. To him, it’s like a promise for more or a way to ignite him. Start kissing his back and he’s not letting you leave him for at least 20 minutes. 

L = Little ones How are they around children?

ᰔ ᩚ Kids use him like a jungle gym. He is a fan favorite amongst his baby cousins who are always asking to be thrown in the air. He would think some babies would be afraid of him, but once they’re in his arms, they’re either really excited about how high off the ground they are or they’ll fall asleep instantly in his arms. 

ᰔ ᩚ He’ll often tire the babies and kiddos out and his family will find him in a pile with him as the pillow to little heads. 

ᰔ ᩚ Another key thing is that he won’t use baby voices with babies, but rather he’ll talk to them like normal human beings. It’s very useful when he has to break up fights between his baby cousins who often argue over who gets to play with him first.

M = Morning How are mornings spent with them?

ᰔ ᩚ Mornings with Miguel are more like Miguel going to do his workout while you sleep. You’re not really a morning person, so you’re a bit drowsy whenever he kisses you all over your face before he leaves. He always chuckles at your sleepy state and urges himself to not get distracted, but more often than not, he wants to stay with you. Some mornings, he’ll get right back in the bed with you after his shower and kiss you until you wake up. 

ᰔ ᩚ On the mornings that you do go with him to the gym, it’s mostly him talking with you humming along one-word answers until you’re actually fighting for your life in the gym. Afterwards, he always takes you to go get breakfast whether that’s a smoothie or him making you something. 

N = Night How are nights spent with them?

ᰔ ᩚ Nights with Miguel are very loving! If you let him, he’d do everything from shower with you to brushing teeth together to skincare to hair care and so on. Being that both introverts and creatives often work/operate better at night, sometimes you both are up at all times of night doing anything. You could be drawing on your iPad while he’s up playing games with your feet in his lap.  

ᰔ ᩚ Sometimes this is also when he lets his most intimate thoughts slip out. With his head on your chest and your nails scratching against his scalp, he’s in his most vulnerable state.

O = Open When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

ᰔ ᩚ Rather than revealing things about himself, all of his drama just happens to unfold for him. The way he brought up Tyler Stone, the super famous tech CEO, being his father just happened to be the time when you were doing something extremely serious. 

ᰔ ᩚ He can tell you things and open up about his past, but you never really grasp how serious it is until it appears before your eyes. His turmoil with Kron was 4+ years in the making and the first time you met Kron just so happened to be the time Miguel connected his fist to his face. His relationship with his mom is something that’s been an uphill battle and you haven’t really seen how bad it can get, but you’ve felt how cruel she could be. Tyler's yearning for a relationship with his youngest son is something you see happening in real-time. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is as open as he can be, but nothing ever really prepares you for the real deal.

P = Patience How easily angered are they?

ᰔ ᩚ It takes a lot to push Miguel’s buttons because he often lets things pile up and boil over. He’s not easily pushed to true anger until someone hurts the people he loves. One time, Gabriel kept coming home crying but he wouldn’t tell Miguel who was hurting him. Once Miguel found out, he ripped the kid a new one which led to Conchatta grounding him for a week. His Abuela was proud of him for standing up for his brother and Gabriel snuck him sweets when he thought their parents weren’t looking. 

ᰔ ᩚ He really wanted to say more to his mother that night she hurt you, but Kron took most of the brunt of that anger which helped him level out a more reasonable response to his mother. He doesn’t like seeing you hurt especially over things that he finds to be beautiful about you.

Q = Quizzes How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has been taking in details about you ever since he first saw you in his Biology class. It was almost as if he was studying you. He knows your favorites, he remembers your friends, he listens to you constantly, and stores things for later. He even begins to know the subtle habits that you have. 

ᰔ ᩚ The only things that tend to go over his head are when you mention really advanced art techniques. As much as he tries, it never really sticks. He also conveniently forgets how often he asks for cuddles.

R = Remember What is their favorite moment in your relationship?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a bank of lovely memories about you stored in his mind (and many more to come 😗). One of his favorite memories was when you went out of your way to make sure that those sorority girls got suspended. He often lets bad things happen to him until he can't control it, but you immediately caught the situation and nipped it in the bud right away. He’s never really had anyone do anything to that extent for him as fast as you did and even though he knew he wanted to pursue a relationship with you before, from that moment he knew that you were special.

ᰔ ᩚ Another memory is the last-minute birthday present that you got for him. It was so thoughtful and sweet and he’s constantly using it. The two of you were only at the sproutings of a relationship so to make such an impactful gift meant a lot.

S = Security How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?

ᰔ ᩚ He’s extremely protective. This means little things from making sure that he’s the one walking closer to the street and watching your drink while you’re dancing to big things like intervening when men don’t catch the hint to roughing up men that don’t respect your boundaries. He’s willing to use his brute strength in order to make sure no harm comes to you but he hopes it never has to get to that point. He’d rather use his strength to carry you in his arms. 

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel doesn’t really feel the need to be protected but when you go out of your way to protect him, he can’t help but think that it feels nice. Like, look at my girlfriend going out of her way to make sure that I’m alright, to make sure that I know that I deserve to be protected too. There’s really no other feeling like it to him.

T = Try How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel goes through so much effort for anything that involves you. He tends to go a little stir-crazy when planning. He marks up his calendar, sets appointments, makes calls, pulls certain strings: anything he can do to see a smile on your face. He remembers so many details about you just so he can pull together the perfect gift. With Tyler trying to get on his good side, he may or may not have asked him to help him out with things that are on the expensive side. 

ᰔ ᩚ However, there are things he does that does not involve so much money. Your cafe dates, your study dates in the library, your handmade gifts, and your nights riding around in his Range Rover getting late-night food. If you’re sick, he’ll bring you tea and make you soup. He’s there when you’re cramping, soft hoodie on and heating pad in hand. He waits for you after your art classes, ready to carry your portfolio across campus. He takes your glasses off when you fall asleep with them on and soaks your oil brushes when you’re in a rush. He cares about you deeply.

ᰔ ᩚ Your one-year anniversary is soon…what does Miguel have planned? 🤔

U = Ugly What would be some bad habits of theirs?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a nasty habit of overthinking. He often thinks too much for his own good, which is why exercising is so close to him as it forces him to focus on his form and his sets rather than the running hamster wheel of words in his mind. His overthinking could lead to imposter syndrome which in turn causes him to question whether or not he deserves the nice things he has, whether or not he deserves to be with you. With the big reveal of the man he’s known all of his life not actually being his dad, it really only dug a deeper hole into the habit he’s had ever since his mom’s different treatment of him versus Gabriel.

ᰔ ᩚ On the other end of the spectrum, he can be a bit of a perfectionist which can lead to stubbornness. Conchata has berated him all of his life, so at first, he felt the need to appeal to her good side as her son. The older he got, the more this turned into battles of proving her wrong. No, he wasn’t a bad influence on Gabriel. Yes, he could get all A’s and stay up playing video games. No, he wasn’t afraid to end up alone. Yes, he would try to go to some far-off college. 

ᰔ ᩚ His relationship with his mother is far from fixed, and there's no telling how these habits are to continue to affect his other relationships.

V = Vanity How concerned are they with their looks?

ᰔ ᩚ At first, Miguel would just own a few nice looks here and there. He’d only really care about the quality of his graphic tees, the softness of his sweaters, and trying to avoid high-water pants. Between his parents and his grandma, a lot of the clothes he got made him resemble a lanky old man. It wasn’t until he started to bulk up that his wardrobe took a change. His old tees could barely fit over his arms and the bigger ones got turned into crop tops to chill out in. His sweaters went to Gabriel who threw them in the deepest pits of his closet. 

ᰔ ᩚ Gabriel ended up styling him at one point which resulted in a lot of extra basketball shorts and god-awful t-shirt hoodies. If it weren’t for Dana and his older cousins telling him that he looked like an extra off of Jersey Shore, he would have never changed. He quietly asked Tyler for some kind of stylist which in turn helped him to find more clothes that fit his new body type. 

ᰔ ᩚ When you come around, you expand his style even more with your eye for detail and your insistence on having coordinating outfits. You know what looks good on him and with the way your eyes trail his body, he for sure knows what you think is hot.

W = Whole Would they feel incomplete without you?

ᰔ ᩚ Absolutely. 1000%. (More of this will play out a bit in Part 10…)

ᰔ ᩚ Obviously, in any Honeymoon stage of a relationship, the couple can feel extremely lonely without their other half. Miguel is an absolute yearner. He hates parting ways no matter how at ease he feels by himself. He never really thought of himself as someone who needs a partner, but now that he has you, he’s trying to juggle between knowing when to give you space and knowing when to impede your space. He feels a lot lighter when you’re around, a lot freer. Tackling college felt so foreign to him, but with you, he feels like he can conquer anything. 

ᰔ ᩚ If you were to ever leave this world before him, there would already be enough bits and pieces of you left to fill the half of his missing heart. The only thing is, he would miss your presence dearly and that radiant smile of yours. In his dreams would be the only place where he could feel whole again. X = Xtra A random headcanon for them.

I have three

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel loves PDA, but sometimes, you’re still a bit shy about it, so you found a compromise: a fidget ring. When he wants to love on you so bad that he can’t stand it, but you’re hyper-aware of the people around you, he’ll take your hand and just start spinning the ring. It’s your sign that he’s craving your touch. It doubles as a distraction when you’re in crowded spaces and his energy levels are low. You can tell when he’s ready to leave an event with the way he’s fidgeting with the ring. A slower tempo means he wants to exit a conversation, a faster tempo could mean he’s overwhelmed or nervous, and moving the entire ring around means he’s ready to go. It’s an effective system for communication between the two of you.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel loves, loves, LOVES girly pop music. It gives him so much energy during his workouts and what’s better is that they’re really catchy. He hasn’t gone out of his way to watch any of the music videos or learn the dances, but take him to a concert, and he’s bound to know the words. He also has a high chance of being put on the Jumbotron or being called up on stage which could lead to intense screams from others and an awkward dance from him. Gabriel has a stan account that he refuses to show his brother’s face on because he knows it’s bound to be his most popular post.

ᰔ ᩚ Even though he’s extremely book smart and intelligent, when it comes to you, the Himbo gene activates. One compliment from you, no matter how small it is, could have him grinning like a fool all day. Whatever it is you complimented him on will be brought to the forefront constantly. He’ll buy a horrid amount of cologne just because you said you liked the way he smelled that day. He’ll take pictures of himself at the same angle because you thought one photo of him was good enough to put as your phone background. He’ll get worked up with one touch in public from you, especially if you haven’t touched him all day that day. He might even do something that you mentioned off-handedly from a TikTok or a tweet like buy a t-shirt with your face on it or have the lights on his Range Rover doors reflect your name. Sometimes you have to tell him to cool it, but if you praise him for it, he’s going to keep doing it.

Y = Yuck What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?

ᰔ ᩚ In general, Miguel doesn’t like when people aren’t direct. He’s not a mind reader so he prefers when people say exactly how they feel rather than beat around the bush. People have done that far too much with him so he gets irritated when he’s put in a situation where the other party is not being upfront with him. He also hates when people are bullies for no reason. He’s not here to figure out why someone is taking out their insecurities on others but he will put them in their place. 

ᰔ ᩚ He also severely hates when people interrupt his sets. If you see he’s using the machine and he’s in the zone, why are you bothering him? He likes to think that he gives off the energy of a determined Gym Bro but in reality, he just looks really hot racking up those weights. Either way, don’t fuck up his set.

ᰔ ᩚ In a partner, he wouldn’t want someone that disrespects his family. He knows it’s a little dysfunctional, but his partner has to be truly dedicated to him before they even think about complaining about his family. He also tends to like his partners on the thicker side. He’s for all bodies, but he prefers when his partner has something he can feel so he honestly wouldn’t like it if his partner was too much smaller than him. 

Z = Zzz What is a sleep habits of theirs?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel always needs to hold onto something when he sleeps. Whether that be the pillow, the comforter, or you, he needs something in his arms. It can make for a very hot bed so whenever you guys are going to sleep together or taking a nap, you make sure to have a fan right by the bed. More often than not, he’s sleeping without a shirt on.

ᰔ ᩚ One other habit is how he gets when he’s really sleepy. He gets a bit whiny and grabby with tears threatening to fall with how much he’s yawning. He’ll say things that he won’t remember the next day like how pretty you are or how much he loves you. He might talk in his sleep a bit before he’s completely out of it which makes for hilarious videos. Like this, his snores are a little louder and his face pressed against the pillow is super cute. 

ᰔ ᩚ In the morning time, when he doesn’t have a workout planned, he might have a little drool from how hard he slept. If you wake up before him, he’ll squint at the light and mumble about what time it is. 

[THE MAJORITY OF THIS SECTION CONTAINS THE TRUE SPOILERS]

A = Aftercare what they’re like after sex

ᰔ ᩚ During sex, he gets in a specific mindset similar to the one he has in the gym, so it might take him a minute or so to snap out of it. He’ll be so wrapped up in the pleasure of the moment that he’ll forget that he needs to stop and make sure that you’re ok. Once he’s back focused, he’ll wipe your body clean and massage the muscles he’s sure to have stretched out. After that, he’s in dire need of cuddles and kisses.

B = Body part their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s

ᰔ ᩚ Other than his face, which he agrees is pretty hot, his favorite body part of his own might be his arms. He worked hard for them! He’s always shocked looking back at old pictures of himself, seeing how he’s nearly triple the size, and wondering who that guy is. He also thinks that the Stone side has blessed him greatly with his dick. He’s always been well-endowed. When you came into his life, he found a new great appreciation for his own thighs, although he’s still battling with the thought of you wanting to be choked in them.

ᰔ ᩚ For you, what part of you doesn’t he like? He couldn’t really choose if his life depended on it because there’s so much to love. However, there’s no better feeling than the weight of your ass and thighs against his lap. If you could use him as a chair constantly, he’ll never complain. It’s the perfect position for him to feel you up and plant his face right in your cleavage. If your back is to him while you’re on his lap, then his hands are immediately on your stomach. You used to hate it at first because he would just squeeze at it or tickle you constantly, but he really loves to place his hands on the warmest parts of you, and right under your stomach happens to be one of those zones. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he said he liked his forehead being pressed up against your stomach while he ate you out, you wouldn’t get mad, right?

C = Cum anything to do with cum, basically

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel hasn’t really talked about it with you but, he especially loves it when he marks you. You always look so pretty with him painted across his skin, and he has so much to give. When his dick is down your throat and you try your best to swallow all of him, he feels feverish when it spills out down your face. He can’t help but think about how gorgeous you look. When he’s fucking your thighs and it spills onto your skin he just wants to rub it in.

ᰔ ᩚ When he’s inside of you and it just won’t stop dripping out of you, it riles him up even more. You’re his and his alone.

D = Dirty secret pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

ᰔ ᩚ He does have a few! One of which is fantasizing about you riding him on the bench press bench while the other side of the gym is occupied. It’s so unlike him, and when the thought first passed his mind, he was so ashamed he couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes for a day, nor use the bench press without getting lightheaded. Just the thought of you leaning over him blocking out the bright lights of the gym, sweat dripping onto him,  and watching your ass hit his skin in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors was enough to get him to plan out how to build out his gym in his future home. 

ᰔ ᩚ Another is the amount of times he’s gotten off to the thought of you before you were officially together. He told you about the wet dreams, but he didn’t tell you how bad it was. He’s not sure if he’s ever produced that much cum in his life. It’s a wonder he was able to hold steady conversations with you with how head-over-heels he was. He fantasized about the sounds you would make and tried to remember how your body felt against his from the little touches you gave him. He tried to hone it down because, god, that’s creepy, but you were so radiant that you never really escaped his mind.

E = Experience how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is what I deem as a “virgin slut.” He’s very inexperienced when it comes to love, relationships, and sex, but he knows too much by proxy.  Again, he’s the parent friend that’s always giving advice, so for the most part, he knows what and what not to do. He’s heard about the things that his friends have done and he’s wondered what experiencing it would be like with you.

ᰔ ᩚ Would you like this position? Would you want to try this with him? Does he want to know what this would feel like? While he feels a little embarrassed to be so inexperienced, he’s happy that you’re excited to share these new experiences with him.

ᰔ ᩚ In terms of sex and foreplay, he’s learning as he goes, going with what feels good and what you react well to. He’s constantly researching, remembering, and trying out new techniques. You’re his first, and if he has any say in it, his last, so he feels that there is plenty of time to get to a more experienced level.

F = Favorite position this goes without saying

ᰔ ᩚ Any position where your breasts are in his face is a position he’s happy in. There’s nothing like watching them bounce while you ride him within an inch of his life. He wants to look at them, he wants to put his mouth on them, he wants to suck them, he wants to bite them: just put them in his face.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel also really adores any position he can hold you in. He notices how excited your body gets when he’s balancing you in his arms while pounding away. You get so wet that he’s mesmerized. The tight feeling of both you around him and your shaking hands gripping his shoulders keeps him going. He really just wants to see every ounce of your body move with him.

ᰔ ᩚ Did he tell you that he wanted you to sit on his face today or did he forget to set his reminder? 

G = Goofy are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is very serious in the moment because nothing is funny about your pleasure. All the laughing and giggling will happen before he’s sinking into you. He’s very serious about watching your face and your body for anything new and familiar. Did you think something was funny before? Well, he’s making sure that you’re not laughing by the time he’s finished.

ᰔ ᩚ Rather than being goofy, he will ask you something out of left field in the middle of the moment if he feels that you two have something to work out.

H = Hair how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is not the hairiest but he also doesn’t not have hair. His friend waxed him for practice one time and he’s certain that he’ll never let her do that shit again. He keeps his face clean because he feels like growing out his facial hair makes him look scruffy, although you’d argue that he looks pretty cute. 

ᰔ ᩚ His happy trail does lead like a nice present to his gift that keeps giving. He will let you trim him from time to time and help him wax when the sun is getting too hot. 

I = Intimacy how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect

ᰔ ᩚ He is very intimate during the moment, especially during your first few times together. He’s always reassuring you and holding you close. His eyes never really leave your face when you’re pleasuring yourself or reaching your peak. He loves to talk into your skin and your ears. 

ᰔ ᩚ If he’s not grabbing onto you, he’s holding your hands and rocking into you. He’s kissing your wrists and your cheeks, wiping any tears away. Where you might not be able to speak, he’s asking yes or no questions, wiping your hair out of your face, and telling you to let go. 

J = Jack off masturbation headcanon

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s sessions usually take a lot, but since gaining a roommate, he can’t go all out like he usually does. He cums a lot so he usually has to put a towel down or waits until he gets into the shower to fully let go. He prefers to use both hands whether that means lifting his hips off the bed while he jerks or holding his dick in one hand while playing with his nipple in another. 

ᰔ ᩚ His sessions after you both get together were even messier, especially with you giving him new material. Voice recordings, polaroids, phone calls: all of it is being used for him to get off when you’re not near. 

ᰔ ᩚ Once, you called him in the middle of one and he was winded as ever. You recognized those breaths the instant he talked and brought him to the hilt with your voice alone. He fell a little more in love with you that day but panicked when you wanted to switch to FaceTime. 

ᰔ ᩚ His chest was….a mess, but you giggled at how cute he was anyway. 

K = Kink one or more of their kinks

ᰔ ᩚ Praise kink: Miguel loves to hear that he’s doing well. Please tell him that he’s doing well, he craves it. There’s definitely a reason that he needs to hear you urge him on, but your voice always sounds so good when you’re in his ear. Tell him how good he made you feel, tell him you’re proud of him, and maybe call him a good boyfriend and he’ll start trembling. 

ᰔ ᩚ Hair pulling: This is one that he didn’t know he had until you accidentally yanked his head too hard while trying to stop him from tickling your stomach with his breath. He kind of froze when the groan came out of him, leaving you staring at each other for about three minutes. Once he realized what happened, his face went beat red and he wouldn’t look you in the eyes for the rest of the night. You promised him it was ok, and tested out a little hair-pulling a few weeks later which he thoroughly enjoyed. He especially loves it when you pull his hair while he’s in between your legs. He cums almost instantly. 

ᰔ ᩚ Semi-public sex: There’s something about fooling around in “private” public areas that turns him on. On the balconies of hotel rooms, in private yacht pools, in dressing rooms, in his car: he just can’t wait until he’s in the bedroom, he needs you now. Are you both louder than you should be? Yep. Does he care? Not really. 

L = Location favorite places to do the do

ᰔ ᩚ Again, he loves semi-public sex, but he also really loves even more intimate places like on vacation in your hotel room or on your dorm bed when Jess isn’t in there. (Although you’ve told him many times that having sex in that open room could be rude. As a compromise, he brings you to his dorm and fucks you there instead. Peter can live.) He really wants to make love to you in his childhood bedroom (the room is full of him but he wants your scent in his sheets), but he knows his mom is far too nosy for that to even happen. He’s not even sure if he could make out with you without her coming in there to check on you two. 

M = Motivation what turns them on, gets them going

ᰔ ᩚ Honestly, you could probably just stand there and Miguel would conjure up a way to be turned on. Seriously though, it’s little things like seeing your midriff or hearing you call him baby in a different tone, especially if you’re doing something sexual, that gets him going. If you do something like extensive PDA (rubbing up against him, kissing him long enough to use tongue, dancing on him), wear clothes that show off your body, or when you stare at him while he’s doing his work.

ᰔ ᩚ If you’re wearing a dress that he can see your fupa through? Hard. When you’re doing jumping jacks next to him in the gym during his sets? Turned on. When you wear his clothes? Rock solid. When you take the initiative? Puddy. When you let others know that he’s yours? You might not make it to your destination without him touching you in some way.

N = No something they wouldn’t do, turn offs

ᰔ ᩚ He’s not into degradation AT ALL. He’s way too much of a gentle lover/boyfriend to ever put you on a lower level than him whether it’s supposed to be enjoyable or not. 

ᰔ ᩚ He is also not into pain specifically when it comes to giving it. He doesn’t want to hurt you. He might do a light smack every now and then but he can’t bring himself to inflict pain, especially if it bruises. The closest you might get to that is if he gets too carried away when pounding into you, and once it’s all over, he’ll feel like a dickhead. It takes him a while to realize that you don’t mind it when his skin is slapping against yours hard enough to sting later.

ᰔ ᩚ One last slight turn off is choking. He’s never going to be comfortable enough to wrap his hands around your neck. You’re determined to let his thighs squeeze you at least once, but if he hurts you by accident, he might do something incredibly drastic. 

O = Oral preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel O’Hara is a munch. Miguel Munch O’Hara. He could stay down there for hours. Being that the first time he ate you out he actually had you screaming, he would say that he’s pretty good at it. But! There’s always room for improvement. For example, he wants you to sit on him and he wants to heat you out while you’re sitting on his shoulders. He’s slowly, but surely, inching his way there.

ᰔ ᩚ He likes giving more than receiving mostly because he can’t look down at you giving him head without losing his mind. At least if he’s eating you out, he can keep going if he cums. If he cums while you’re swallowing him, he needs at least a minute or two to reset. Not to mention, the sounds your throat makes when you’re sucking him in makes him conflicted. You promise you like it, and he loves the feeling, but he’s still wary of fucking into your mouth and hurting you.

P = Pace are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel’s pace is deep, slow, and sensual because he has to pace himself. If he’s wrapped up in you, he’s bound to forget about his own pleasure in place of making sure you’re feeling good, but once you get to sinking him in and squeezing so tight, he wants to hold that out as long as possible.

Q = Quickie their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ They seem nice. If only he could commit to them. Quickies often turn from 10 minutes to 20 minutes to way too long in a compromising position. Also, there’s way too much to clean up for what he does with you to be considered a quickie.

R = Risk are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

ᰔ ᩚ With you? He’s willing to try most things, although they’re mainly vanilla. Risks for him might lead to late night trips to CVS for a pregnancy test so it’s best that he researches and plans things out thoroughly. Right now, the most he might be eager to do is change up the positions and try not to touch you.

S = Stamina how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has a lot of stamina! He’s not in the gym for shits and giggles. Still, to him, he has a lot of work to do in terms of going all night. Right now, he can last for about 2-3 rounds without breaking a sweat. If he focuses on you, he can extend that number to about 4 rounds. His refractory period is also pretty stellar if he must say so himself.

ᰔ ᩚ Now, whether or not you can keep up with him is to be determined. 

T = Toys do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel has been too scared to own a toy living in his mother’s home, so he’s never bought one. (How Gabriel got away with buying the most obscure things, he’ll never know) The only thing he has is the bottle of lube that he frequents and his extra sets of towels to cover his bed.

ᰔ ᩚ On you, he’s happy to try out whatever you’ve got. He was really fascinated with the mechanics of your rose toy, but he’s also determined to make you have the same reaction with just his mouth alone. What kind of boyfriend is he if he can’t make you forget about your tiny pieces of plastic?

ᰔ ᩚ He’s also interested in trying out different types of lube, but he’s got to research which ones are really worth it.

U = Unfair how much they like to tease

ᰔ ᩚ Open the dictionary, flip to the T section, slide down the pages until you find the word “tease,”  and you’ll see Miguel’s government name on the third definition of the word. He likes to claim that you’re a tease when really, he’s just a horny himbo. He knows what he’s doing when he sends you sweaty gym pictures. He knows what he’s doing when he dresses up all nice for you. He knows what he’s doing he’s all in your face in public, feening for a reaction out of you. He messes with you on purpose. 

ᰔ ᩚ Let this behavior make it to the bedroom and he’s either going to regret it once you take over OR he’s going to continue it until you’re coming apart in his arms. Teasing you always leads to great, great sex.

V = Volume how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is loud as fuck. He has to cover his mouth when he’s alone in his room thinking about you. When he’s inside of you, if he’s not moaning into your mouth, he’s breathing heavy right in your ear or groaning loudly right into your shoulders. He’ll often be louder than you. If you’re moaning with him, he encourages you and sings right along with you. 

ᰔ ᩚ If you’re focusing on his pleasure, he’s hyper-aware of the sounds he makes so he tries to muffle them which leads to whimpers and whines. You love it when he gets this way.

W = Wild card a random headcanon for the character

ᰔ ᩚ Hip thrusts are a great exercise for the lower half of your body and should never be missed on leg day. They pinpoint the glutes, the abs, the hips, the hamstrings, the back, and the quads. With a steady added weight, anyone who is doing this exercise possibly is sure to grow those muscles greatly over time.

ᰔ ᩚ Miguel is never missing a chance to do hip thrusts because he is determined to fuck you this way. He can only imagine the shock on your face as he holds you up and pumps into you with a steady rhythm. 

ᰔ ᩚ He’s never missing leg day.

X = X-ray let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

ᰔ ᩚ He’s definitely a shower which is why his tiny little exercise shorts can get buck-eyed looks sometimes. The first time you saw him, you felt yourself panic a bit. But the weight in your mouth? Indescribable. 

ᰔ ᩚ To you, he’s the prettiest you’ve ever seen. If you had to guess, he’s probably 8- 9 inches, but it doesn’t really matter when you’re watching him leak like a faucet. He curves so nicely and definitely feel the effect of it when he lands. Watching it twitch to life has given you more inspiration than you care to admit.

Y = Yearning how high is their sex drive?

ᰔ ᩚ It’s too high for his own good. He can switch like a light and be ready to go down in you within minutes. It’s that foggy himbo mindset and the fact that you’re his first girlfriend. There have been many times where he’s gotten distracted by just thinking about you and the things he wants to do. He riles himself up when researching techniques, so of course he’s ready to be in you at any time.

Z = Zzz how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

ᰔ ᩚ Once you’ve both settled down, he’s out like a log. Let’s be real, not only has he probably worked himself up, but you definitely knocked him out with how good you gave it to him. He uses all the stamina during sex and when it’s over, the energy just fizzles out. It’s funny because you would think you were supposed to be the one that’s barely holding on, but there he is, mumbling into your skin.

ᰔ ᩚ This is definitely the time to get really soft responses out of him: satisfied, pussy-whipped, and dozing off.

This was really fun! As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! 🩵

If you want to be on the taglist for future Gym Rat Miguel updates, sign up here! Make sure to have your age in the bio or somewhere on your blog! (Part 10 is in the works!)

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[bekkathyst]

I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna mean it in all sincerity from a longtime follower: I'm really glad you're so open with how things have been since you moved to Austria. On one hand, I do feel like I'm not only supporting a business I have for ages and feel good about that and I'm also supporting folks I care about online into being able to have a good life. And on the other I'm glad, because if you didn't mention the bad stuff I would probably 100% believe you guys moved into the middle of Europe and immediately escaped all the evils of capitalism and integrated into a gorgeous place with lots of history and folklore and ability to forage (!!!!!!!) and I would be so jealous I would possibly die. So either way I'm happy to keep buying your crystals, and also while I am very jealous but I probably won't die of it. Please give your daughter a hug from me, and your husband a high five. :D

Ah 😭 this is really sweet and I’m going to try not to ramble too long but I feel like this is a good thing to discuss, especially right now.

The first couple months of moving here were an insane contrast of like the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and the most stressed out knowing that one wrong move meant we’d have to give it all up and move somewhere else or lose the ability to be together. The immigration process I’ve had to go through to be with my husband anywhere is difficult but it was harder here than what we dealt with in the US only because this is the place we REALLY wanted to be and it was terrifying thinking the chance to be here could just be ripped away. But of course at the same time I was seeing family I hadn’t seen in a decade or longer, I was getting to really connect with my ancestors, be immersed in the culture, forage in the way I’d been longing to do for my entire life, and all the rest. I feel like because of this I just blinked and now somehow it’s been two years.

The nature here is my favorite, and I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything. But Austria is far from perfect. There’s racism, xenophobia, the bureaucracy has made me question my sanity, some of the social culture really sucks, my business is deeply struggling and I wonder if we can make it due to how high fees and other taxes are, and I will ALWAYS have criticisms for any government I live under lol. Living somewhere very different from where I spent most of my life is really isolating and I feel lonely a lot. And I’m sure however I feel, it’s even harder for Antonio.

But like I said in my post, in the end, this is worth it for us. It’s so hard BUT we get to watch our daughter grow up somewhere where she can have healthcare and a good education and swim in lakes and hike mountains and make so many friends!! Omg she has so many friends. 🥹 and I now have healthcare too for the first time in my life which is really just in time for me to get diagnosed with a bunch of chronic illnesses that I’d never be able to get any help for in the US. And now my husband also has the chance for the first time in his life to pretty much travel anywhere he wants to which is amazing for him.

It must be quite obvious that these are all feelings I’ve been holding in for some time lol. But I can’t believe what lovely human beings follow me on here and support us especially after so long! It’s been almost 12 years since I started all of this and somehow I’m still doing it. Wow. Incredible.

I love you 😭❤️

And here’s evidence of the passed on high five 😆

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Oh the fluff alphabet for Euronymous was really good, now I’m curious about one for Faust

Thanks for the request dear anon, glad you liked the fluff - Alphabet and I hope you like this one. Have fun reading :)

Fluff Alphabet - Faust

warning : It' getting fluffy under the cut

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A = Adoration (How do they worship you?)

°Since you came into his life, he seems to have found another pleasure besides mayhem, the black circle, violence, murder and other crimes. He lets you feel this at all times and tells you so at all times. You have become indispensable to him and he is happy to have you.

══════════════════════

B = Best friends (What would they be like as best friends? How would the friendship start?)

°He would be the one hundred percent reliable and loyal friend who may be a little short on words but who gives the best advice and tips and cares about you.

°You would have met at a Mayhem concert on the way to the bar to grab a beer when you collided and got talking.

══════════════════════

C = Cuddling (do they like to cuddle?, how do they cuddle?)

°Yes he loves to cuddle Faust is the biggest cuddler in the black circle even if it doesn't look like it. Just pulling you close and putting his arms around you is the best. But he also loves to get hugs from you whether short or long everything is great.

°He loves long cuddles, pulling you onto his lap and just holding you against him. It gives him a sense of security that you will never leave him despite what ever happens.

°,,A little longer for eternity"

══════════════════════

D = Domestic (how would they settle down? How are they cooking and cleaning?)

°He would live with his mother in the beginning and then either come to you or you to him depending on the situation. But as soon as you both have a job, you will get a flat together.

°He is not very good at cleaning up and leaves most things where he found them. But he is the best cook you can get. He can conjure up five-star menus for you that is truly fantastic (and he makes sure that the black circle doesn't starve).

══════════════════════

E = Ending (how would they break up with their partner if they had to?)

°He would do it shortly after his murder or shortly before. He's just worried about dragging you into the consequences. He doesn't want the police to suspect you. But he'd be the type to either use a lie or just leave you without a word. Just gone. It would hurt him, but in his eyes, it's better than explaining, because then he'd just start being.

°,,That's it, it's over... get out of here by tomorrow"

══════════════════════

F = Fiance(e) (how do they feel about consent? How soon would they want to get married?

°Marriage yes and no I think he'd be the type to hear that and just decide, ,,Yeah, if you get married we'll get married too, won't we honey?". It would have been discussed faster than usual.

°,,How does a honeymoon in Transylvania sound?"

══════════════════════

G = Gentle (how gentle are they mentally and physically?)

°Even when he has his violent fantasies he is mentally rather calm. He knows when to say something and when not to. He knows how to deal with you and how not to. But he loves to be gentle. To take care of you, to kiss you and to love you.

°,,You just always bring me down from high"

°Physically he is gentle, judging from the murder and the force he used. As already mentioned, he loves to cuddle, to grab your hand and kiss it or just to feel you on top of him.

°,,Cuddle, hold, kiss...please just one more time "

══════════════════════

H = Hugs (do they like hugs? How are their hugs?)

°He loves hugs no matter if longer or shorter. Whether you hug him or he hugs you. Just being able to hug you at any time is perfect (plus the other guys will let go of you and he can show them that you are his).

°,,Come here for another hug"

°He loves to practically run you over with his size and weight and hug you to the ground of course if the ground is not too hard. It's fun and often ends in a few kisses.

══════════════════════

I = I love you (how soon would they say it?)

°Since you got together or when you first met, it would have slipped out almost immediately. But after that he always whispers it to you and especially when you are alone together he loves it. It's his way of expressing his feelings for you.

══════════════════════

J = Jealousy (how quickly are they jealous? What do they do when they are jealous?)

°He doesn't get jealous very quickly. He knows that you love him and he loves you with all his heart. He trusts you and knows you won't cheat or betray him.

°He would be the quiet jealous type. He would cast the deadliest glances at the unknown/enemy. If this doesn't help (it always does) he takes out his knife and plays with it a bit and that almost always helps. If need be, he can always pull the stranger into a street and kill the man.

══════════════════════

K = Kisses (how are their kisses? where do they love to kiss you?)

°His kisses are gentle and almost restrained, especially in public. He is just a bit shy when you are in public. At home, his kisses are more intimate.

°On your lips he loves to kiss you, otherwise he loves to kiss your hands and thighs, maybe on the way to a little foreplay in the bedroom.

°,,You are just so beautiful".

══════════════════════

L = Little ones (how are they with kids?)

°Faust system crashed. He has absolutely no idea how to deal with children. He gets restless, nervous and completely quiet and hides behind his hair before retreating, hoping to be overlooked.

°,,Take it away...I don't want it"

══════════════════════

M = Morning (How do they spend their mornings?)

°He usually wakes up before you to prepare delicious breakfast and if you haven't woken up by then, to put it to bed with you or gently wake you up and take you to the kitchen so you can eat together.

°,,There are scrambled eggs with bacon"

══════════════════════

N = Night (how are nights spent with them?)

°Believe it or not he likes to listen to a radio play to fall asleep. Some brutal psycho thriller or true crime case that he somehow recorded himself. But he usually falls asleep halfway through. Cute.

══════════════════════

O = Open (how fast would they open)

°It takes him a long, long, long time to open up completely and reveal his innermost self. Little by little he tells the things when he feels ready. Which is why even after months things come to light.

°,,My love... I have to tell you something"

══════════════════════

P = Patience (how quickly are they annoyed?)

°It takes a lot for Faust to get annoyed and his patience to wear thin. This is most strained when there are children around, too little alcohol, the police or he simply hasn't slept enough and you both argue about something small. But even when he gets annoyed he quickly drops it and tries to solve it.

°,,Damn it, please give me a break"

══════════════════════

Q = Quizzes (how much would they know or remember about you?)

°He remembers a lot, especially what he has picked up from conversations, whether he has talked to you or heard from his friends. But he remembers every little detail and he is a little proud of it.

══════════════════════

R = Remember (what is your favourite moment in your relationship?)

°After he killed the man in the park it wasn't his parents house he went to confess or anything. No, it was your house he went to and told you about it, even though he expected you to be afraid of rejecting him. But even though at first you were afraid, you assured him that everything would be all right. Before you helped him to wipe the blood off him and somehow help him to calm down.

══════════════════════

S = Safety (how protective are they? How would they protect you?)

°He is quite protective but only when he or you feel you are under attack depending on the situation. Which is why he quickly stands in front of you and covers you with his gestalt.

°Unlike Euronymous, Faust doesn't need friends to help him. He has a knife and a joy to kill again he definitely doesn't need a small army he can do it himself and more than well. But even without a knife he is good in a fight.

°,,Don't worry, one strike and they're gone"

══════════════════════

T = Try (how much would they invest in dates anniversaries, gifts etc?)

°He would invest quite a lot in ideas for a date, for example. But it would end up in a bit of a mess because he has too many ideas he wants to implement. Before he has to resort to his emergency plan.

°His best gift to you, in his opinion, is a knife. Whether it's a hunting knife, a kitchen knife or a pocket knife, you name it.

°,,Emergency plan to visit the zoo...if you want of course"

══════════════════════

U = Ugly (what would be a bad habit of them?)

°That he either shuts himself off from you completely, for example in stressful situations. Or he takes refuge in alcohol, movies and homicidal thoughts when he just doesn't know what to do to solve a problem. Not to mention that he has killed someone and that is more than just a bad thing.

══════════════════════

V = Vanity (how much do they care about their appearance?)

°As for his clothes, he'll just take something from his wardrobe. Whether it fits or not, everything is black and that goes with everything. The only thing he is precise about and almost oversensitive about is his hair. He has a whole grooming routine for his hair in the bathroom. Not only is he proud of its length, but the softness and shine is his pride and joy.

══════════════════════

W = Whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

°Yes, because you give him the security of having someone who loves him by his side. He is not the greatest talker and is grateful for his friends but you. You are just something that gives him something more than friendship. Love.

°,,I...I need you to please stay with me forever"

══════════════════════

X = Xtra (a random headcanon for them)

°When he is extremely nervous and you are alone together, he starts to stutter a little. Because he wants to say a lot and then he's too nervous, so he's grateful that you just wait until he's sure.

══════════════════════

Y = Yuck (what is something he would not like about his partner?)

°I think he wouldn't like it if his partner didn't have an opinion. Not only when it comes to deciding things. Even if he talks about his plan to kill someone or try to kill someone and his partner just doesn't have an opinion, it would bother him and he wouldn't feel listened to.

══════════════════════

Z = Zzz (what is a sleeping habit of them?)

°He's always holding on to you somehow. Whether it's your arm, your hip, your leg or your hand. He just needs to feel secure that you are with him and he loves it when he wakes up that you are with him.

══════════════════════

[safetycar-restart]

I’m back with little!asks!

I’m aware that this topic may make people uncomfortable so I’ll give a little preview: this ask talks about simulated breastfeeding and general baby-age little!care. So, please stop now if that will make you uncomfortable.

As we know, little!Arthur regresses very little, and therefore relies on his mama to care for him. So, imagine for Christmas or perhaps even the anniversary of their little/caregiver relationship. His mama gifts him a breastfeeding simulator, explaining that now, he can curl up on his mama’s lap and just latch onto her to his hearts content. Just imagine rocking him back and forth, rubbing his back while he relaxes against his mama.

Equally, you know those long pieces of material that allow babies to hang from their parents against their chest. What if there was one designed for littles. I think that whenever a little was overwhelmed or sick, or just wants to rest, their mama would put them in that just sing to them. This whole idea is so cute to me. Little Arthur or Charles just pressed up against their mama’s chest as happy as can be able to calm down against their heartbeat and sleep if necessary 🥺

-🎞️

Aw yes the return of the little!au!! For anyone new, the little au is different from just discussing little drivers because in the AU, everyone in the world is either a little or a caregiver, in the same way that the d/s au is different from just discussing sub!drivers.

Firstly, I think things like breastfeeding simulators (which I had to google by the way) would probably be quite commonplace in this AU? Because it’s not uncommon to have littles who regress very young and who would enjoy and benefit from their caregiver using one of them.

Because of how young Arthur regresses, it would definitely be something you had been considering buying. And when your anniversary came up, it just made sense?

Arthur is a little confused when you show him it, but when you explain he’s instantly smiling and blushing because he knows that when he regresses he would LOVE it.

The next day he regresses and you get to try it out for the first time with him. Honestly the biggest hassle is just getting it on because you can’t hold him at the same time which makes poor little Arthur very unhappy. He’s too little to understand his mama is getting something ready so that he can snuggle even nicer than before, all he knows is he can see his mama doing something with her top and she won’t come over and give him snuggles!!!

Luckily you figure it out pretty quickly and you can join a Arthur in bed. The moment you’re with him he instantly forgets all about how he was upset before because his mama is here!!

You have to explain to him again that he can latch on now and suckle, because the poor little thing doesn’t quite understand. Yes you explained this to Arthur earlier, but that was when he was in his adult headspace and little Arthur can’t remember that!!

In the end you just gently take his head and direct him to the nipple and he wears his lips around it all on his own. He suckles a little, like it’s a dummy and that’s when the milk comes and oh! Oh he likes it!! He squirms so happily in your lap, humming a little cause it feels so nice!!

He falls asleep like that of course, all nicely cuddled up.

And I love the idea of having those wrap things for adult littles as well. Obviously they’re too heavy to physically carry, but there’s so much added security and safety from just laying or sitting with their caregiver and being all wrapped up like that.

I think that’s something that little!charles in particular just loves? He definitely naps the best like that, feeling so nice and safe.

I’m actually unsure if little!arthur would like it, mostly because I think he wriggles around a lot? He’s a very squirmy little boy!! And so being wrapped so close like that can stop him from being able to and make him feel a little claustrophobic. Unlike Charles who just instantly falls asleep.

[jujumin-translates]

Event | Act 3.5 Event - NEW ERA GARDEN | Chapter 3

*Contains spoilers for Act 12 - eternal moment*

Kasumi: The Shinsengumi!?

Yuzo: …Another famous theme again, huh?

Hiro: Come to think of it, we talked about that back then too.

Zen: Every troupe wanted to do it because it was going to be Hakkaku-san’s Shinsengumi. It never got settled in the end, did it?

Syu: Don’t tell me there’s actually a script that Hakkaku-san left behind, is there?

Yukio: There isn’t. That’s why I’ve decided to write the script this time.

Kasumi: You will, Yukio-san?

Syu: Have you ever even written a script before?

Reni: He used to write a lot back in high school. He writes fast when he gets inspired. I had a chance to look at it and it’s almost finished.

Yukio: I had a general idea of what I wanted to do for the Shinsengumi story since I talked about it with Hakkaku-san back then.

Yukio: We discussed a lot of things about the casting back then too.

Yuzo: I see…

Syu: I can’t help but wonder if maybe you so readily accepted the story because Yukio’s the one writing it, Reiji.

Reni: It’s only because of my position as a board member.

Zen: Well, whatever the reason is, we’ve got a script, so there’s no need to worry.

Hiro: And it’s about a Shinsengumi envisioned by Yukio and Hakkaku-san. Can’t wait.

Kasumi: But it’s such a famous topic, so there’s still a lot of pressure…

Yuzo: It’s just part of the job. Gotta be ready to take on anything.

Yukio: I didn’t get to direct “Traces of a Dream” directly, so I’m really happy to be able to talk about rehearsals and such with everyone again.

Hiro: It’s your return to Japanese theater, Yukio, there’s no way it can be boring.

Yuzo: Damn right. We need to kick this thing off with bang.

Kasumi: Let’s do this with everything we’ve got!

Zen: Well, it’s not like we can let you down.

Reni: Exactly. The reputation of the new Fleur Award is also at stake.

Yukio: Let’s do our best!

Yukio: By the way, I wrote the script with the casting I discussed with Hakkaku-san in mind. With that, the roles are--.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Yuzo: …

*Page turns*

Troupe Member A: That’s the script for your upcoming play, right, Yuzo-san?

Troupe Member B: It’s not with MANKAI Company, right?

Yuzo: You’re right. It’s just for this collaboration, like a one-off.

Yuzo: I’m gonna be away a lot during this performance, hope you can forgive me.

Troupe Member A: It’s not a problem at all. You can leave everything to us.

Troupe Member B: I’m looking forward to your play, Yuzo-san.

Troupe Member C: What kind of things are you going to do in it?

Troupe Member D: What’s your role, Yuzo-san?

Yuzo: This is confidential, so don’t go leakin’ it, got it?

Yuzo: I’m Nagakura Shinpachi. Apparently, Hakkaku-san decided on this role for me way back when.

Troupe Member C: So it’s the Shinsengumi!? Uwhoa, that’s so cool.

Troupe Member D: I guess he thought that you’d be a good Nagakura for the Shinsengumi since you’re good at sword fighting.

Troupe Member B: That’s Gamushin, right? (1)

Troupe Member A: Yeah…

Yuzo: Don’t just go sayin’ things without thinking!

Yuzo: …There’s a damn good reason I was trusted with Nagakura Shinpachi.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Yuzo: …Tch, so it’s just the two of us. Those other guys really are bad at socializing, huh?

Yukio: Haha, everyone tried to make room in their busy schedules to come here. Nothing we can do about it.

Yukio: How about us two with too much time on our hands get along. Here, cheers.

Yuzo: Maybe you’ve got too much time on your hands…

Yukio: It’s been a long time since we’ve had a drink alone like this, Yuzo. When even was the last time?

Yuzo: Even back in our MANKAI days, we usually had someone else with us, it wasn’t often that we were alone together…

Yukio: You’re right. Or it’d start off with just the two of us, and then one or two more would end up joining.

Yukio: That reminds me, we talked about the Shinsengumi story at a drinking party one time and had a great time.

Yuzo: I remember that, we were arguin’ about who was gonna do what and then you Shinsengumi maniacs started talkin’.

Yukio: Yeah. Everyone had their favorites.

Yuzo: Gonna have to put some work into my sword fightin’ now that I’ve been casted as Shinpachi.

Yukio: You’ve never done anything related to the Shinsengumi before?

Yuzo: Nah, I have.

Yuzo: But for that, I practiced sword fightin’ to the death against the guy who played Shinpachi, never thought the roles would be reversed.

Yukio: It wasn’t just because of your sword fighting skills that he entrusted Shinpachi to you, Yuzo.

Yukio: Nagakura Shinpachi is the one who lived the longest out of all of the major Shinsengumi leaders, you know.

Yukio: In his later years, he left behind records that told the truth about the Shinsengumi, and it’s said that those became a catalyst for the reevaluation of the Shinsengumi.

Yukio: That bit somehow seemed to overlap with you, Yuzo.

Yukio: From the beginning of the first-gen group, to the beginning of the newborn group, and all the way up until now, even after leaving the theater company, you’ve always watched over MANKAI.

Yukio: So I thought it’d be perfect for you, Yuzo.

Yuzo: …This you askin’ me to continue watchin’ over everyone, the newborn group included?

Yukio: Fufu, take good care of my daughter, okay?

Yuzo: God, you ask that like it’s nothin’.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Yuzo: (…He didn’t even have to ask me, it just came naturally.)

Yuzo: (It’s for two generations of parents and children. I’ll continue to see it through. For the sake of their futures.)

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

• • •

T/N:

(1) Gamushin is a nickname for Nagakura Shinpachi. I found some things saying that the nickname came from “がむしゃら (gamushara)” meaning “reckless” or “daredevil,” however many of those were linked to series based on the Shinsengumi, so take that bit with a grain of salt.

[blametheeditor]

Matter Of Opinion

Prompt Roulette By Title

Character A: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Character A and Character B, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Character C: Our turn, Character D! One, two, three- vanilla!

Character D, deadpan: I've never had cake.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of treating others as lesser than. Mentions of calling others 'pests'. Mentions of not having access to food. Mentions of getting sick from food.

Eggs deserved some time in the spotlight

_____________________________________

Eggs looks between Fritz and Caleb, a look of horror on his face. 

“I don’t know which one is worse. The favorite flavor being vanilla, or never having eaten cake before.” 

The redhead suddenly ducks his head as he shuffles in place, Fritz seeming more nervous rather than self-conscious, the excitement they rarely see vanishing within seconds. “Well, we don’t...cake isn’t exactly, accessible...” 

It takes a moment for the sentence to register. For Eggs to remember Caleb and Fritz are only a few inches tall in height. Not normal human children like the hordes of gremlins that come into the restaurants daily, but ‘borrowers’ that took a long time in order to trust those who can and have swept them into a hand. And only a select few at that.

He’ll admit, he forgets how different their lives are. Sure, they live at Freddy Fazbear’s, but they can’t exactly book a birthday party. Can’t sneak into the kitchen like Eggs does to steal a slice of pizza or cake. Sometimes he steals a whole pizza and cake. No one’s been able to stop him yet! 

The borrower’s life, though? They get caught by the wrong person, and cake will never be on the table. 

“I’m in the mood for cake,” James suddenly announces. “Want to help us make one?” 

The two react in almost polar opposites. Caleb immediately perks up at finally being allowed to try cake honestly they’re monsters never having offered it before. But Fritz shrinks into himself even more. 

“What kind of cake?” the younger borrower asks, strangling the absolutely miniscule plush bear they have never seen him without. Even though the toy should be washed considering the amount of dust Caleb and Fritz tend to accumulate from their travels. “Fredbear says we might not like peanut butter.” 

Oh fuck they really are monsters, Eggs is telling Scott the man is doing a shitty job as a father!

“Chocolate’s hard to go wrong with. And Jeremy will be happy to help us eat the rest.” 

Finally Fritz makes a long sigh. As if they’re boring the teenager. “You, you’re allowed to make a chocolate cake?” 

Eggs shares a look with James, the doctor raising his eyebrows to say he had been expecting that to be the reason the kid was hesitant. Which is unfair! One of them is a child psychiatrist and apparently that includes borrower children and the other isn't. The other is a geneous mechanic. 

Genious. Genus? Genius. 

Then again, that has been a running theme when it comes to Fritz and Caleb. Less so for the nine year old boy now that they’ve all known each other for about two months, but the older borrower didn’t warm up as quickly. Allows asks for permission before doing things other than borrowing, and that had been quite the discussion. Maybe they need to get Scott to hold another meeting. 

Eggs taps his chin before giving a wry smile, forcing his hands not to make large movements. “Let’s think about it this way. Jeremy wouldn’t tattle cause it’s chocolate cake. If Scott finds us, he won’t even be mad, just disappointed. Mike doesn’t give a shit. And Harrison can’t bitch cause it’s not his restaurant.” 

“I thought we agreed to leave the cursing to Mike,” James stage whispers. 

“Just don’t tell Scott,” the blond replies. 

That has Caleb giggling as Fritz visibly relaxes. “Okay. W-We'd like to help make a cake.” 

Eggs offers a hand palm up for the two. Can’t help a smile when neither hesitate to climb on, though he did forget they’re spider monkeys. Caleb’s darting up his arm almost immediately, almost missing grabbing the edge of the short sleeve to his uniform when Fritz swoops in for a rescue, scooping his brother up and finishing the climb. 

The blond has to stop a shiver from the odd feeling of his shoulder being walked on, looking at James to confirm both of them are safely there. He can’t exactly turn his head to check on them or else that might cause a big problem. 

The doctor gives a smirk. “Have you finally accepted you’re a glorified jungle gym?” 

“Hey I’m the greatest jungle gym you will ever meet, thank you!” 

He hears the worry in Fritz’s voice as he carefully follows James into the kitchen. “Do you mind we-?” 

“Shh, I’m proving I’m a badass tree. And another thing!” 

That earns him two quiet laughs from his shoulder while James shoos him away. “We’ll argue who’s the better tree later. Make yourself useful and find the cake mix.” 

Eggs makes his hand talk in time with the doctor’s words, but he also begins his search for the box required to make a certain cake that apparently neither of their resident borrowers have had the chance to eat. He’s actually a little curious how Fritz managed to get his hands on a piece of vanilla cake. 

With how careful the teenager is, he doesn’t think it was a proper crumb. It would’ve been from the floor. That hadn’t been cleaned in days. Hours after it was made and being exposed to the air that would’ve hardened it so it can’t even be considered cake anymore. 

Damn, he’s surprised the vanilla flavor could actually be tasted. 

“How do you make a cake?” Caleb pipes up. 

“See there’s something called chemical reactions.” 

“We are not teaching them chemistry,” James calls from the fridge. “You have to start with the scientific method.” 

Eggs sighs loudly as he snatches the cake mix out of the pantry, gently slamming the door closed. “Sorry Caleb, Dr. Stiller says we’re not allowed to have any fun.” 

“I think it’s safe to assume they don’t know what atoms are. Therefore are unfamiliar with molecules and bonding. I.e., educate them so they completely understand what a chemical reaction is.” 

Eggs will admit, he’s a bit jealous James can spout all that off at the same time he’s measuring out how much water they’ll need, the eggs and jar of icing waiting patiently next to a bowl. But ten bucks the doctor’s just showing off. “Nerd.” 

“To answer your question how you expected it,” James smirks, looking over Eggs’ shoulder which is rude, his eyes are- oh shit. Right. Caleb and Fritz are sitting there. “Eggs has cake mix that we add eggs and water with to make the batter. The icing is already made, so we just put it on the cake once it’s been baked.” 

“...you’re going into a cake?” Fritz asks, sounding so genuinely confused and worried Eggs can’t help but laugh. Not even James can help himself. “You just said Eggs!” 

The blond carefully grabs the two off his shoulder as he attempts to stifle his laughter, gently nudges Fritz’s shoulder at his embarrassed look, Caleb seeming just as confused. “Sorry, sorry. We’re not laughing at you, it was just funny. You two really do live in the walls, don’t you?” 

“We said we did,” the redhead defends, pulling his brother into a protective hug, and Eggs feels like an asshole. 

“We’re sorry for laughing,” James murmurs. 

“It was a dick move,” the blond agrees. He sets his hand down on the counter, Caleb leading Fritz off for the two to stand close together. It’s impossible to miss the blush on the older’s face despite his two inch stature. “Teasing went too far, we’ll be model gentlemen.” 

“That’ll last for ten minutes.” 

“Bet it’ll last twenty.” 

Fritz still doesn’t look up from his shoes, and Caleb refuses to give a smile, standing in solidarity with his brother. Now he really feels like an asshole. 

Eggs kneels down in order to be eye level with them. Snags an egg and sets it a respectful distance away so they don’t have to worry about it rolling them over. 

“This wonderful object is an egg. I’m named after a dish that requires multiple eggs called Eggs Benedict.” 

Finally green eyes look up to meet his gaze. “You’re, named after food?” 

“The greatest food of all time in my opinion,” he winks. 

Fritz shuffles in place. “So, that’s why they’re yelling your name all the time?” 

“Gets confusing, right?” Eggs shrugs. “The life of having the best name ever. But it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” 

There’s the smile he was looking for. Still embarrassed from never connecting the dots, but they should’ve expected Fritz specifically to be unfamiliar with something like that. They haven’t exactly asked where the redhead’s lived before the restaurant. And they haven’t asked the two what they’ve eaten before, case in point the fact they’re currently making a cake. 

“And I know we’re assholes, but don’t hesitate to ask about anything else. James’ll know the answer.” 

“What am I, an encyclopedia?” 

“Ha! I don’t even know what that is!” 

“Eggs will have to ask me questions as well,” the doctor grumbles. He snatches the egg from Eggs ha and cracks it against the counter before putting the yolk in the bowl, tossing the shell into the trashcan before repeating the process with the second one. “Remember, when you’re dealing with eggs, always wash your hands when you’re finished.” 

Caleb looks up at Eggs happy to let James do all of the work. “Both kinds of eggs?” 

“Especially when dealing with that one.” 

“Hey!” 

“I’ll take it back if you add the water, mix, and stir.” 

That earns angry grumbles as Eggs opens the box, cutting the bag for the mix open in order to dump it into the bowl. Pours the water on top before mixing it all together. He glances down at the two borrowers to make sure he’s not spilling anything over them, grinning at the wide eyes watching the batter slowly come together. Reminds him of when each Eggling saw the magic of cooking and baking. 

He doesn’t notice James snagging the cake pan until he hears the sound of oil being sprayed, looking over to see the doctor standing at the opposite end of the kitchen. 

“What was that for?” Caleb asks. 

“That’s to keep the batter from sticking to the pan as it bakes.” Eggs shoos James away from the pan once it’s set down, pouring in the chocolate goodness in so the question can be focused on. “I sprayed it over there so you didn’t breathe it in.” 

“And how do you know to do that?” Fritz tags in. 

James brings the box of mix closer to them as he kneels down. Which excuse him Eggs needed to read the temperature for the oven. “We’re following this recipe. It told us how many eggs and how much water we needed. Tells us which pan to use, to spray it in baking oil, and this pan needs 425 degrees.” 

Eggs’ dramatic waving toward the oven pauses at the emphasized words, quick to put in the proper information so it starts preheating. Which they should’ve done first but hey! It’s an experience! And they are far from being master's at baking a cake. Or any baking in general. Might as well add cooking to that, too. 

With that done, he tiptoes over to the bowl. Grabs the spoon with the intent to eat the batter when he meets Caleb’s eyes watching with interest. 

He pivots so the spoon is offered to the little boy. “Want a taste?” 

Instead of trying it, Caleb looks up at James giving the batter a distrustful look. “Can we?” 

“...I’m trying to do mental calculations.” 

Eggs stares. “For...” 

“The effect salmonella could have on them,” the doctor says ominously. “Specially how likely it is based on their size to ours, and considering there’s two eggs-” 

“James, you’re scaring the kids,” Eggs whispers, sending a pointed look down at Fritz who seems three seconds away from snatching Caleb from the spoon. “It’s just a tiny sample! Literally!” 

“And I don’t have any good information on their health, how certain diseases can effect them, or-” 

“We d-don't get sick,” Fritz announces. “From food I mean.” 

Caleb nods his head in agreement. “We’ve eaten pizza humans got sick from, but we didn’t! Fredbear agrees, too!” 

Eggs watches as James has to fight with himself from either asking even more questions and possibly seeing if they can do a full exam, or to go against everything he’s learned from medical school and give the go ahead. Maybe it’s both. 

“One dip of your finger,” the doctor finally relents. 

Neither of them argue, following his request to the letter. Both of their eyes light up at the taste, meaning Eggs then takes the spoon back in order to lick the entire thing, earning a very disapproving look. 

“I hope you get salmonella.” 

“My name is Eggs. I’m part egg. It’d be impossible for me to get it.” 

“Oh really?” James begins. “Part egg, huh? Maybe we should put you into the next cake we make.” 

“You wish,” Eggs grins. “I would make the greatest cake ever.” 

A loud beeping announces the oven’s finally ready, the blond wiggling his fingers at James to put the cake in and set the timer. Leaving him with Fritz and Caleb watching him with worried looks. 

“Is there batter on my face?” 

“You’d, want to be part of a cake?” Fritz says almost too quietly to be heard. 

Well fuck. He keeps forgetting how terrifying that can sound due to them being able to end up in someone’s pizza or soda without any trouble. Which none of the guards would ever do if the two didn’t want that to happen. Excluding freak accidents, but they’ve all been working hard to be extra careful. 

“No one will ever go into a cake even if we could,” he smiles. Doesn’t admit that kind of sounds fun. And who else could say they’ve done something like that! Not to mention it’d be comedy gold! “James and I are just teasing.” 

Note to self, talk to Scott about what topics they should avoid. 

In their defense, this has been the first time Caleb and Fritz have been out for more than just a few minutes. They pop in every now and then, but only when the restaurant is closed with every other person on staff home. Get a little too antsy when they’re out in the open for two long. Have stuck to a fairly strict ‘curfew’ for Friday nights when everyone is here. 

They’ll figure it out! Slowly but surely. Seriously, Scott’s slacking on his dad duties, he’s supposed to make sure all of his children get along together! 

James appears after being gone way too long for just putting the cake in the oven. And to Eggs’ horror, he sees the bowl of left over batter missing. He wasn’t done eating from that! “The cake will be done in about 10 minutes. Do you three want to go find Jeremy and let him know?” 

“Were we not going to tell Scott?” 

Eggs almost jumps at Scott’s voice. One that sounds a little upset. Turning around, he confirm it’s a very disappointed look being aimed toward them. But, it’s not angry. Soooo, that’s a win! 

Now how to get out of this alive... 

“Surprise! Happy Birthday!” 

Scott’s frown turns into a glare shit. “Good guess. Now you’ve got 364 more to go.”

“We were making a cake for Fritz and Caleb,” James quickly explains, gesturing to said frozen borrowers. “It was our idea, not there's.” 

“I would assume so,” Scott continues to glare. “They can’t exactly grab the ingredients and put it into the oven without help.” 

“Th-They were being nice!” Fritz calls across the vast expanse that is the kitchen. “They said you, you w-wouldn't be upset.” 

“They wanted me to try cake for the first time!” Caleb adds. 

Just as Eggs thought would happen, Scott melts. Because he’s just like David, pretending to not care about anything or anyone, but is actually a complete and utter softy. 

“You’re welcome for doing your job as a father,” Eggs sneers. 

And just like that, he fucked himself royally. “Eggs, either start running, or I’m getting Vince.” 

Oh shit. “Bring it, Fossil!” 

Scott bristles before taking a deep breath. “After the cake is done. And please dear God tell me you made sure Caleb and Fritz were safe the entire time.” 

“Entire time,” James butts in, putting a hand over Eggs mouth so he can’t say anything else that will incriminate them. Which doesn’t look suspicious in the slightest. 

It only earns them an eye roll as Scott walks closer to investigate the crime scene, a smile appearing as the two borrowers give hellos. “Have you been keeping them in line?” 

Caleb rapidly nods his head. “We also learned Eggs is a food and they’re used in recipes!”

That’s when Scott seems to finally realize what ‘never having cake before’ actually means. That the two are missing out on more than just deserts. Fritz had been adamant on day one that they wanted to continue borrowing and getting their own food, but with this revelation gently coaxing out an agreement that sometimes they can help out might be needed. Cake is one thing, but they’re both just kids. They’d all like to make sure their resident borrowers are taken care of for as long as they live at Freddy Fazbear’s. 

He’s pretty sure James has a nerdy reason to add on the ‘why’s’. 

“I’ll grab Jeremy so you don’t skip out on any other lessons, deal?” 

“Deal!” they chirp. Caleb ecstatic the cake is almost finished. Fritz relieved they aren’t in trouble. 

Eggs offers his hands as he nods toward the oven. “Want to go see what it looks like?” 

Both of them immediately perk up and dart into his palms. Right as Caleb moves to pull the same stunt from before and climb up his arm, Fritz manages to catch his brother with a battle cry, laughing as a squeal emits. “Oh no you don’t!” 

No time is wasted walking to the baking cake at that, quick to hold up his hands as Caleb manages to worm out of Fritz’s grasp in order to keep the little boy from making a break for his shoulder. Not that he minds! He just can’t see the awed expressions from the favored perch! 

Honestly, it’s adorable how both of them are absolutely entranced by the rising cake. Not wanting to look away even with the sound of Jeremy running into the kitchen. 

“It’s ch-ch-chocolate, right?” 

Eggs raises his eyebrows when Fritz doesn’t jump at the stuttering guard’s voice, only turning to wave in greeting. “Of course, Jer. We’re not monsters.” 

Jeremy gives him a look he thinks is supposed to be a glare after returning Fritz’s wave. “Y-You’d make a vanilla one j-j-j-just to spite me.” 

“...alright that does sound like me.” 

“Where’s the b-batter?” 

“Eggs ate it all,” James says, the blond sputtering as Jeremy immediately turns on him. 

“You jerk!” 

“I did not it was James who put it in the sink!” 

“I can’t trust e-e-e-either of you!” 

“Enough!” Scott suddenly yells, sending all of them glares. “Caleb and Fritz don’t deserve all of you shouting around them. If you’re going to fight, do it in the dining room. And no instigating, James.” 

Right. He forgot about tiny ears. Ones currently having equally tiny hands covering them as they stare up at the giants surrounding them on all sides. But slightly good news? There’s no fear, just apprehension! 

That’s when the timer goes off, everyone but James backing away so the doctor can grab the cake out of the oven. “Uh, sorry about that.” 

“It’s okay,” Fritz offers as he drops his hands, Caleb following suit. “At least you’re not as loud as Mr. Harrison.” 

Wise words. Caleb agrees, nodding sagely. 

Before they can continue bashing on David, James opens the can of frosting, earning everyone’s attention. That’s when he shakes his head. “You can eat it when it’s on the cake. Everyone already had batter with a side of salmonella.” 

Jeremy squawks. “I d-didn't!” 

“You gave the kids uncooked batter?” Scott demands. 

“Oh well look at the time,” Eggs begins, setting his hands on the counter to let Fritz and Caleb off before backing away slowly from the ticking timebomb. “I should go...” 

“A great way to out yourself. Because a doctor would’ve advised against it.” 

“Fredbear said they’d be fine,” the blond counteracts. 

That shuts Scott up. Because the man wouldn’t be a heartless bastard and tell Caleb Fredbear isn’t real. Eggs is definitely getting his ass kicked later but for now he’s safe. Maybe. 50/50 chance Vincent’s going to be summoned. 

James clears his throat. “Who’s helping with the icing?” 

“M-Me,” Jeremy quickly volunteers. Before he grabs a knife, he sets his own hand in front of the borrowers, both of them immediately climbing all the way up to his shoulder. This time Caleb has no trouble with the long sleeve providing plenty of handholds to grab onto. Once they’re both tucked close to his neck, the stuttering guard starts on icing the cake. 

Eggs quickly darts to James’ side as Scott walks closer, hiding behind the doctor as a glare is shot toward him. But he’s not chased, so he’s been allowed to survive for another day. Or maybe just thirty more minutes. 

He will say, Jeremy’s pretty good on coating a still warm cake, none of it coming off onto the knife. He’s also talented in the ways of not throwing borrowers off of his shoulder as he works. 10 out of 10, would choose Jeremy’s shoulder if he was borrower size. 

“N-N-Now how many slices d-do we need?” 

“Think Mike wants some?” James asks. 

“Give him a small one,” Scott says as he grabs a few paper plates with the word 'Celebrate!’ decorating it. Quite fitting considering this is an occasion to celebrate. “And make David’s as big as yours, Jeremy.” 

They end up with seven slices all together. James covers what’s left of the cake as Eggs is laden with four plates, Jeremy oh so courteous to hold the door out of the kitchen open for him and Scott. Sadly he does not slam it on James’ face. 

David gives a questioning look as a large slice is slid in front of him where he sits at a table. “This is what you all disappeared for?” 

“You don’t want cake?” Eggs smirks, reaching out to take it away. The business man doesn’t hesitate to move it out of the blond’s grasp with a glare daring he tries to complete the threat. 

Scott sets the two plates he brought onto the table, nodding toward the hallway Jeremy’s leading Mike out of. “Fritz and Caleb never had chocolate cake before.” 

David goes still. If Eggs didn’t know any better, he’d say there’s concern in the hazel eyes that once looked at the borrowers with nothing but loathing. He doesn’t say anything as everyone finds a seat, but he doesn’t start eating his share until Fritz and Caleb are gifted with a full slice that’s taller and longer than they are. 

Eggs can’t help watching them each take a bite. Grinning as Caleb looks up with pure amazement on his face. “Humans get to eat this all the time?” 

Right. They live at a children’s party center. “Not all the time. Usually for birthdays and holidays.” 

Fritz looks like he wants to ask something but catches himself. “Thank you for sharing one with us.” 

David suddenly leans forward, his hands clasped together like he’s in the middle of making a business deal. “I heard you never had chocolate cake before.” 

Caleb nods, unaffected by the scrutiny, but his brother hunches down into himself. “It’s Cay’s first time eating cake at all.” 

Scott sends David a suspicious look, unsure where this will be taken. He’s only given a glance as the redhead’s focused on. “Are there other things you have yet to try?” 

Now Eggs is confused on where this is going. He thought David was going to try and be a dick, using this as a way to prove the two are ‘pests’ of some sort. His tone isn’t hostile, but it’s not gentle either. It kind of feels like an interrogation. 

“I, uh, c-can't really give a list,” Fritz replies. Having the all too familiar look of wanting to bolt. A hand on the bag he carries everywhere. “You’ve all shared pizza with us, and we’ve had that before. We’ve had fries and lettuce. But...I-I don’t really keep great track.” 

“Are there certain foods you don’t know about?” 

“Yes,” the teenager admits, his face growing red all over again. 

Eggs’ announcement of David being a grade-a douche bag is stopped when the business man turns to Scott. “Didn’t you say you’d be watching over them?” 

“Want to clarify, David?” is growled back. 

“I mean the kids aren’t exactly being cared for like you agreed to do for them,” the business man sighs. And holy shit he does care about Fritz and Caleb. “If I remember correctly, they entrusted you to keep them safe and healthy. I’m no doctor, but I think it’s safe to say they’re not getting the nutrients they need.” 

Scott stares at David for a moment. And while it’s definitely said with an air of arrogance, there’s actual concern lying underneath. Which is something he’d never thought he’d see from their resident douche bag of all people. What did he say! Secretly a giant softy!

“They also said they wanted to continue borrowing.” 

“I didn’t say they had to stop,” David counters with an eye roll. “I thought you are William's right-hand man. You’ve seen plenty of contracts. Get the pests warm food every now and then. You’re not giving handouts, you’re keeping them healthy and treating them with things they couldn’t have before. They have you as a benefactor, and yet I bet letting them eat cake for the first time wasn’t your idea.” 

Eggs makes a quite ‘oooooo’ sound as Scott doesn’t seem to have a comeback. The best part though is the fact David’s not even smug. This shit’s better than his soap operas! 

Even Fritz doesn’t have anything to say. He half expected the older borrower to protest and argue about needing to do things themselves, repeating the speech they’re all familiar with. But David’s a business man through and through, and damn did he find the loopholes. 

Then again, the agreement had been made by a desperate teenager, but credit’s due where credit’s due. 

“Fritz?” 

The two borrowers look at each other. Then they look at David who only waits patiently for a reply, not a hint of a degrading smirk on his face. 

“I don’t...disagree.” 

“Wonderful. Which means you need to step it up, Scott. Try and aim for them giving James permission to take their vitals or whatever the hell doctor’s do.” 

AAAAAnd he ruined it, even Caleb looking a bit scared at what’s being implied. 

“That’s a discussion for another time,” Scott soothes. “We’ll never force either of you to do anything you don’t want. But I’ll get Eggs and James to help out with letting you try new things.” 

Fritz looks at the slice beside him that guaranteed will be given to Jeremy to finish before smiling. “Okay.” 

“Fredbear says David wants to ‘accidentally’ drop frosting on us,” Caleb prophesizes. 

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT!” 

“DAVID!"

[awkwardgtace]

I Wonder how Melody would react if Kyrie or anyone for that matter asked if they were to have children or how the future would be between them. Like would she joke about it, have no idea, be upset or some other . You could just answer it or make a short story someone Asks, completely up to you! (Didn’t mean for this to be sexual in any way, just Wondering how Melody will handle the future with Kyrie in different au’s)

Dear anon this has rambled in my head since i read it. I was like oh I could answer... or write a few things. I wound up writing something which is more or less Melody's reaction to kids being brought up by someone.

Read more cause it's a couple little stories i put together :D

Melody's Asked About Kids (Mer, Guardian, and Knight au)

Mer AU:

“You’ve talked about that man you’re seeing a lot lately,” Melody’s mom said in their latest call. She still wouldn’t come to visit. That was better, Kyrie would give the woman a heart attack. “When do we get to meet him? What are you two planning? Any wedding bells or grandkids?”

“Mom!” Melody shouted, a rare time her cheeks turned red. “Kyrie… doesn’t think like that.” The right words were failing her. It wasn’t like she didn’t like the idea of a wedding and maybe even kids, but that didn’t seem possible. He was over fifty times her size. That wasn’t going to work out.

“You always used to talk about how you wanted kids. Did that change?” She could hear the disappointment in her mother’s voice. That made it a bit easier to talk about.

“If he doesn’t then it’s fine. I’ve been less interested since the whole cursed family line thing anyway.”

“I had you and things went fine! I know you like to blame us, but your father and I-”

“Mom enough! I’m not blaming you, but I don’t want a kid to go through what I did.” She didn’t mention Caprice’s life either. It wasn’t like they’d even attempted to tell them about his tail. It wouldn’t end in a happy family discussion. She didn’t need a kid secretly able to cast magic once they touch the water. 

“Right because your childhood was so bad.”

“Let’s just drop it mom. For now Kyrie and I aren’t talking about kids and I’m not bringing it up.”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Melody sighed as she sat on the hill staring out over the horizon. Kyrie’s tail breached the water.  She’d never brought it up to him. It wasn���t like she could have a wedding with all her friends. Merfolk had to be a secret. It wasn’t likely he thought about those things either. Slowly the massive head of blue hair came closer. She still couldn’t name the shade.

“Melody!” he chirped as he came close. His nose crashed into her chest, making her laugh. She loved this feeling now, even when her fear of his size came back. The rumble from him came quickly, a purr that didn’t feel like a purr. “Missed you.”

“It’s been half a day,” she laughed. It didn’t take long for her to wrap her arms as best she could around his nose. He chirped more as he knocked her off her feet. “I missed you too.”

“Love you.” Kyrie chirped loud enough her bones vibrated. She laughed again.

“I love you too.” Weddings and kids didn’t matter. She was happy, happier than she had been in a long time. Although someday he’d have to meet her family, that was something she could put off for a long time.

Knight AU:

“You two are cute together,” the woman said. 

Melody had removed her armor before entering the town. They needed supplies and had to keep a low profile. No one could know they were knights. Kyrie didn’t mind the act, he liked the illusion she put on his armor. That when he leaned against her it looked like just two normal humans together.

“Thank you, I love her a lot,” Kyrie grinned. She buried her head in his arms.

“How long have you two been married?” Melody squeaked. She could feel the beam on Kyrie’s face.

“We aren’t-”

“A few months.” He cut her off. It made more sense to lie like that, but she couldn’t. It had probably been a good idea. Knights weren’t liked around here, but still it made her cheeks red.

“Any kids on the way yet?”

“No!” she yelled. Both Kyrie and the woman stared at her. The arms she’d liked wrapped around her pulled away. The woman’s face morphed to a pitying look as she looked up at Kyrie.

“Don’t worry, I had nerves too. She’ll come around fast.”

The woman’s face changed. Melody looked up, Kyrie was glaring at her. All too quickly the woman left and she was alone with the giant she loved. For the first time when they weren’t in danger he grabbed her hand and dragged her away. Quick steps that made it hard to keep up. She wound up stumbling as he pulled her from the town back into the woods they’d come from.

“Kyrie what are you-” Melody tried. 

The sharp look in his eyes stopped her. She… she must have upset him. Screaming no to the idea they had kids. That they were going to. It was just too much she hadn’t thought about it at all. They’d never talked about it. He let go as they reached their camp. She hugged herself. Of course she’d messed up again. They hadn’t even talked about her secrets yet.

“Kyrie I…” she tried. There was nothing she could think of to say really.

“That woman in the village was nosy,” he laughed. She could hear the strain in his voice. Not something she wanted to hear. It was too familiar, he was trying not to be hurt. “I said we were married thinking that would stop her from saying more. I wasn’t expecting to ask about kids. That was too far-”

“Stop.” She grabbed his wrist and made him look at her. His eyes were shining. “I… was embarrassed. It’s not like we talked about any of that. I mean how could we? I’m half fae you’re a giant… it’s not like we have options.”

“Melody…” She was pulled into his arms. Almost without thinking she reached up with both hands and unlocked his armor. The arms holding her moved. The armor fell, the crash almost reassuring. As his arms grew she could hear more of his heart beat. Racing and calming all at once. “It’s ok, we don’t have to. You can just say-”

“No! I… I’ve thought about it. Having kids I mean.” She forced herself to look up at him. One of his hands bigger than her head cupped her face. “Just, it’s unheard of. Giants don’t usually walk around as humans and half fae don’t usually stay around others. I… I was scared to ask about…”

“If you want to have kids someday, we’ll find a way.” Kyrie lifted her up. She squeaked as he tightened his hold on her just before he fell to the ground. She started laughing as his hands moved to hold her head against his heart. It made her smile. She’d almost forgotten his words.

“I just want to be with you. Everything else can come later.” The massive hand started to pet her. It made her laugh, he liked the feeling of her hair. The day he learned her secret was getting closer. She wasn’t ready to lose him.

They sat in silence after that. Kids were a topic for later. When they knew everything about each other, when secrets were gone. Next time someone asked she’d try not to panic. A voice in the back of her mind liked the idea, but it made her shiver. Kids may not even be an option, a safe option, in the future. That was something to worry about later.

Guardian au:

“So how have things been since you moved out here?” they asked. Melody was out with her closest friend. They’d gone out for bubble tea. Their favorite and easy enough to send a bigger one back to the house. She couldn’t pick one up to surprise Kyrie when she got back on her own anymore.

“Good, Kyrie knows about my thing with heights now,” she smiled. “We’re working on that. He can’t take the medicine, it’s painful.  He’s his full height most of the time.”

“Does that mean you two aren’t thinking about kids anymore?” Melody choked on the tea she was drinking, thankful she’d missed any bubbles. 

“Where did that come from!?” 

“I mean you were talking about kids before weren’t you? You were the one telling me about it.” 

“Well we… we haven’t really talked about it.” Melody looked down at her tea, avoiding her friend’s face. Of course they had before he grew. She wanted to raise kids, maybe not her own. It would be harder now, Kyrie wouldn’t be able to help a lot. 

“Oh my god your face is red!” Their shout made her slide down in her chair.

“Shut up!” She focused on her tea for a bit. “You’re the one here on vacation, we're not talking about that right now!”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Melody sighed as she walked into the house. Empty on her side, she could still picture the times he’d jump up to grab her things from her. When she could walk in with something she’d seen hidden behind her for him. It made her sad in a way, the things they couldn’t do anymore. Of course the loud thump from nearby knocked her from those thoughts.

Looking over, Kyrie’s eye was staring at her. Her face softened as her bag fell to the ground and she approached him. She could see the moment he realized she was walking forward. The joy in that sparkling blue iris. A different shade from the one she knew before he grew. From the one that made her talk to him in the first place.

“You have blue eyes,” she smiled. The eye widened before his laughter boomed around her. It was the same response she got when they met. When the words slipped from her back then too.

“My hair is closer to blue now too,” his booming voice made her heart pound. She kept walking until she could see more than just his eye. He wasn’t even that close to the smaller house. When she was at the entrance to his half she saw the mostly blue hair lazily tied back. She wanted to play with his hair again. “How was bubble tea?”

“It was fun, they asked me how you and I are doing.” Melody walked up and put a hand on Kyrie’s nose. The kids didn’t matter, the future didn’t matter. Once they were truly comfortable together again they’d talk. If they wanted kids they would figure it out. “I told them we’re figuring it out.”

“Just how we’re doing?” She could hear it in his voice. A bit of anger slipped into her heart.

“You told them to ask me about kids, didn't you!?” The nod knocked her back, but she glared at him. “Why didn’t you ask me yourself!”

“In case you were scared to tell me…” His voice was quiet. “I mean, we talked before this and you were worried about everything else. I didn’t want to scare you…”

“Kyrie, you aren’t going to scare me.” Her anger died just as quickly as it boiled up. “I told them to shut up, but for you.” She paused and kissed his nose. He shuddered and made her laugh. “We’ll figure it out when we want to decide. For now, we need to figure us out. Kids can be later. We have time.”

“If you want them I can take the medicine to help. I can learn to handle it. We talked before all of this. I still want to-”

“Kyrie, it’s not out of the question. We’ll just worry about it later. Maybe once I can sit in your hand when you walk around.”

“Are you sure? I mean I know you wanted-”

“I want a life with you, whatever that means. There will be options that work with both of us when we’re both ready, ok?”

Melody squeaked as fingers pinched her sides. She hadn’t even noticed his hand coming near her. He lifted her quickly, the racing of her heart a mixture of fear and joy. The fear disappeared as she was dropped onto his massive chest. Beneath her his heart pounded. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. His voice a deep rumble she felt more than heard.

“I’m positive,” she shouted. It was always hard to be sure he heard her. The subtle laugh gave her more than enough of an answer. “I love you Kyrie.”

The hand that hovered nearby froze. She didn’t look at the face she knew would be facing her. He was looking at her, she didn’t often say she loved him first. She was pressed firmly against his heart as fingers wrapped around her. She didn’t mind this, it was getting easier. She knew he’d keep her on solid ground.

“I love you too,” he said. He made sure to speak louder than usual, it left her in awe. They’d work things out eventually. For now it was best they focused on their own lives.

[dappledpaintbrush]

Good day, I hope that you are well;

Do you ever happen to ponder what the writers' room must have been like for Super Paper Mario? "Yeah, you know our main Wahoo go-lucky happy Mario protagonist? Yeah, well, let's make a game where he isn't relevant at all, make it touch relatively dark themes and we make my intricate and deep teenage Original Characters the real main characters with an extremely intricate plot that you wouldn't expect any game of the brand we are known for to have"

The game is so...Jarringly out of place, it's...Fascinating-

Nintendo has a few of these very large art books (Eg. Zelda and Mario Odyssey) where they go over all of the development work, conceptual stages, writer material in excruciating detail- It would be amazing if there were one of those for this particular game-

It's a shame that there isn't a lot of beta material released for this title other than some early Nastasia sprites, early animations (eg. The Dimentio Walking one and the Super Dimentio unused mouth animations) and Flip Folk character designs (And of course the early cat build) I can imagine a lot of work was put into the game's writing- I find the geometric designs to be extremely fascinating for multiple reasons too, symbolically and visually, but that's a discussion for another day. Are there other beta materials I seem to be missing?

My apologies for the long "ask"

Have a nice day.

Hello!! I hope all is well too :]

Oh my god I think about this SO MUCH. Like. One, how did they come to the conclusion this story is what they’re gonna go with, and two, how did it get approved? I’ve heard SPM be described as a “bad fanfiction,” and honestly, take “bad” out and I agree. This game strays so drastically from the norm that it does feel like a fanfiction (in the best way possible). I wonder how much DIDN��T get approved that is now lost to time.

I’ve been on many hunts for any beta content, but all I can find that is reliable is stuff from The Cutting Room Floor. It honestly upsets me. I feel like this game deserves an art book regardless of whether or not I personally wanted one. The design of SPM is incredibly creative and one of the first of its kind. The character and level designs themselves (because they really are unique), the constant references to technology in an era where it was becoming increasingly more apart of every day life, and the thought process behind implementing 3D into a 2D space are all things I want to know the details behind SO badly. Of course art is important in every video game, but in the Paper Mario series, the game almost revolves entirely around the art and design choices, and SPM is no exception. I would also go even more crazy for a book or even any information at all about the writing process, but I’m not sure how much of that has survived. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of it has to come from the writers’ own recollections. Hell, who even knows if any concept art is around anymore either, unless they kept it in a filing cabinet somewhere (or, if it’s all digital, they actually kept up with the files).

The cat build is very interesting to me because we have NO idea what it was for. Was it for another game? If so, what is it doing in SPM’s files? Is it for SPM? The “3D world builds” that were also found imply SPM was originally not going to be a side scroller and instead, you’d be able to roam around like you do in any other Paper Mario game. Unless those world builds were for the cats only- which again, were they for SPM or something else?? WHAT WERE THEY DOING THERE?? EXPLODES!!!!! AND YES!!! THE SYMBOLISM FOR THE GEOMETRIC SHAPE DESIGNS IVE HEARD ABOUT THAT SOMEWHERE. GOD ITS SO GOOD . CHEWS ON MY ARMS.

And to answer your question, there’s definitely more beta material out there, but none come to mind at this moment :O

And don’t apologize!! I love longer asks! I enjoy discussing this game with people a LOT

Have a good day to you to!! :D

[darnedchild]

I’m dumping my emotional guts here, please ignore if you just follow me for funny memes and fandom shit

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been mostly absent and disengaged for a bit.  Truth is, I’m emotionally drained and barely keeping my head up enough to care about anything going on outside of my home and immediate family.  And I have been for so long I’ve stopped counting.

Just for the highlights over the last few months -

My son has been having issues in one of his classes at school.  It was like pulling teeth to get his teachers to communicate with us about what they were seeing on their end; but eventually we had enough information to push to get the Demon Spawn evaluated and he was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.  I’m not going to go into the details but I will say that the “F” this specific teacher had been threatening him with all semester was suddenly an “A” when we were able to put in an official request for a 504.  My husband, myself, my sister who teaches the same grade in a different district, and my therapist (all 100% biased, obviously) agree that it feels like we’ve been gaslit. 

His teachers noted in the evaluation forms that my son is demonstrably depressed, anxious, feels isolated, and thinks no one likes him at school.  That was the first time I’d heard ANY of that.  I knew my son was anxious and sensitive, but there is a HUGE step from what we see at home and what they wrote on his evaluation forms.  His teachers are our eyes and ears during the school day, they see my son when he’s not dealing with his emotionally damaged mother who is trying her best not to show her son how anxious and scared she is while he does the exact same because we both want the other to just be happy.  They recognized and identified all this devastating stuff about my child and didn’t tell us.  I have been informed that there are “reasons” the teachers might not have feel comfortable approaching us directly but I’m pretty sure this is exactly the kind of thing a school counselor is for.

I was a depressed, anxious, isolated child.  I very clearly remember what it was like.  And I damn sure do not want my kid to go through that.  If something tragic had happened and they knew he was on the edge of crisis and they didn’t tell us... I don’t even want to think about it.

One of my best friends died last year.  Her birthday was in February.  I did not handle the lead up to that well.  And in just a week or so it’s going to be the first anniversary of her passing.  I am definitely not dealing well with that.  I got a little note from the family, written by her mother, two weeks ago.  It’s been almost a year since she died and the family is still using the old address labels that include my friend’s name along side her husband’s (different last names), her mom crossed out her daughter’s name.  Maybe, maybe toss those labels out and get new ones so that people don’t break into tears the second they see their dead best friend’s name scratched out with a fucking black pen?

And the final highlight of this shit parade is that my 15 year old baby kitten Bellatrix was just diagnosed with stage IV kidney disease.  We took her to the vet because she’d lost some more weight (down to just over six pounds) and it was yearly shot time anyway, so why not draw some blood and see what’s going on?  She’s dying, that’s what’s going on.  Fun phone call - the vet, my husband, and me on speaker phone.  All three of us audibly sniffling away tears while we discussed palliative care options and best case scenarios and how much time do we have left with her?  The answer is not enough.  Never enough.  She turns 16 this year.  Would turn 16, but the vet insists we understand that the likelihood of her reaching her birthday is extremely low. 

I rescued her neurotic, balding butt when she was 11 months old.  My son has never known life without Bella.  She let him pull her hair with his chubby, sticky fingers and give her slobbery open-mouthed toddler kisses and use her has a pillow when he didn’t feel well, with only her usual “See what I put up with” side-eye in complaint.  If I’m sick, she’s at my side.  If I’m upset or anxious, she somehow knows.  She’s sleeps at the head of my bed (sometimes with her fur pressed against my face) and snores like a sputtering chainsaw. 

We haven’t told my son yet.  He had a big thing last weekend and we didn’t want him to forever associate that memory with finding out.  Our plan is to tell him this weekend so we can make sure he has a day or two to deal with his feelings before he has to go back to school.  I feel guilty about keeping it from him, though. 

And I’ve spent the last week wondering if this cuddle will be the last, so... yeah.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Icarus( did I spell that right? ) my beloved does you have any yandere c! Technoblade and philza with a shy reader stories? 👀

Feel free to take as long as you like I'm in no rush hopefully you don't mind me requesting alot if it's a problem then I will stop requesting as much as I do

Agian I love your writing have a lovely day or evening my beloved(platonic!!)

:D

Darling Mooshroom, I adore you so much (platonically). You have my full permission to fill my inbox with any and all requests that come to mind. I love the ideas you give me and you're the only one who has requested more than once (other than anons but I can't tell with them.)

Also. Philza Philza Philza I FINALLY GET TO WRITE FOR THIS MANS WOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry ignore me. Unfortunately, this story will be shorter than my normal ones because I used up the majority of my brainpower on other stories and I feel bad for keeping you waiting <3 (plat)

(Techno is not part of sleepy bois in this story. Instead, Techno and Philza are ancient gods and set more in like Ancient Egyptian times?? Really low key Yandere in this story)

TW: Yandere, mentions of a creep, getting robbed

Mortal of Gold (Yandere!C!Techno x GN!Shy!Reader x Yandere!C!Philza)

Was it your appearance? Or your shy personality? Perhaps it was the various amounts of golden chains and jewels sprinkled strategically all over your person...

Crows and Piglins were naturally attracted to gold, so that's how Techno justified himself, but Philza wasn't stupid, he's been through this many times before. He knew what being in love was.

But they had never felt so... Strongly towards a mortal before.

The God of Blood and War continued trying to deny his feelings for you, but he always found himself watching you shuffle around the Ancient DreamSMP, curled in on yourself as you walked to and from shrines for the gods that you had made.

Philza, the God of Survival and Crows, leaned over a bowl of ink and water and stared into the swirling designs, watching as it shifted into a picture. He saw a lovely figure kneeling at the base of a statue, placing a bowl of fresh bread and cakes, before lighting some incense and standing up, their head dipped in silent prayer.

The winged god chuckled softly and adjusted his large hat before cupping his hands together in a bowl shape. Slowly, with very minor concentration, a golden chain appeared with an emerald heart shape dangling off of it. With a small but sharp whistle, a black crow swooped in through the window and perched itself on his arm, "Yes Dadza?" It chirped telepathically, tilting its head curiously.

"Hello, my child. I would like you to place this on the young mortal's doorstep. I trust you will be able to find it?" He smiled softly and held out the piece of jewellery to the feathered creature who picked it up in its beak.

"Sure, Dadza!" The bird gave a squawk before hopping over to the bowl of ink and water to study the appearance of the mortal. "Oh! It's (Y/n) again! Didn't Technoblade recently cause a man to meet his end because he was rude to them?"

The man sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand, "Yes, Techno is brash like that... I should speak to him about that after... Now, be on your way. I would like them to receive the gift before they start putting their faith in other gods." With another telepathic chirp, the bird quickly took flight and headed out the window. Once his beloved crow, Chat, was gone, he leaned over the bowl again.

The mortal was now praying to Technoblade's shrine, after giving an offering of beer and herbs with the incense now re-lit. Phil decided to disperse the image with a wave of his hand, beginning to make his way to his old friend, the God of War and Blood.

With a flurry of black feathers, Philza landed on the balcony Techno had designed specifically for him and closed his wings neatly behind him, "Techno?" He called, walking through the red curtains into the room of the God. When his emerald-coloured eyes landed on the tall man, he discovered that he was hunched over a large bronze dish like he had been moments ago.

"Yeah, I'm here." The pink-haired male sighed, adjusting his glasses before pushing his long hair out of his face as he looked up from the bowl. "What do you need, Phil?"

"I'm here to discuss (Y/n). That mortal we are both smitten with?" He watched as the god's cheeks visibly turned pink despite his tough demeanour, causing Philza to chuckle into his hand, "Relax. It's obvious. And I know how you had one of your followers beheaded that poor fisherman."

"Millionaires. Not followers." Techno retorted with a scoff as he stepped away from the bowl filled with likely water and ink. "In my defence he deserved it. He should've known better and held his tongue when being in the presents of one of my worshipers."

Phil wasn't able to hold back his sigh, "Millionaires? Good grief Techno, you're just making up words at this point. Besides, that's not the main reason I flew out here," The Survival God's eyes suddenly darkened, catching Techno off guard but nonetheless made him happy, "I heard... That (Y/n) has been getting threats from the village of L'Manberg."

Techno frowned at the thought of anything happening to their favourite mortal. The images that appeared in his mind caused the voices in his head to roar in anger, demanding for human blood to be spilt across his shrines.

"Yeah. I suggest we put a stop to it. But, I do want to meet our little mortal..." Philza smirked a bit, raising his hand in an attempt to stop Techno from seeing how violent his thoughts were becoming towards the humans.

-

You couldn't help but smile as you saw the new jewellery that had been placed at your doorstep, scooping it up into your hands and taking a moment to put the necklace and solid gold armband on. You were quite aware that the vast amounts of jewellery covering your body made you a target for thieves, but you trusted in your gods to keep you safe.

On your eighteenth birthday, your village had dressed you up and offered you to the gods in exchange for safety and a good harvest, chaining you in the middle of the dessert on a stone platform. You would have perished from starvation had a black crow not have carried a basket filled with the ripest and fresh fruits you had ever had. That's when you knew that Philza was watching over you.

Technoblade had started watching over you not long after that. On a trip into the village for yeast to make bread to offer Philza, a creep had cornered you in an alleyway. He began making disgusting remarks towards you, but a man with glowing gold eyes and red sclera came up and pummeled him into the ground before completely vanishing. It had been a high priest of Technoblade's Syndicate temple who told you that it was the God of Blood and War who saved you.

"Look," Techno whispered under his breath as he saw you standing in your doorway with a soft smile. Philza peaked around the corner as well, watching you attach the jewellery to your (s/t) skin with a smile of his own, "I take it the necklace is from you?" The tusked male asked as he pulled the hood on his cheap commoner clothing up to cover his noticeable pink hair.

Phil did the same, trying to hide his inhumane blue eyes from view, while also trying to shoo away Chat who was relentlessly teasing the two of them, "Sh! Chat, it's not like- No. Shut. WHat?! I'm not being a creep!" He hissed to the blackbird, trying to bat it away with his free hand, while Techno was snickering to himself, "Wait, no! This is my bread, (Y/n) made it for me! Get your own!"

After watching his old friend get bullied by Chat for a few minutes, he turned back to watch you walk back out of your home, holding the cup of beer you had placed at his shrine earlier today. Your offerings were always his favourite... He would burn this entire village down if they tried to chain you into the desert again... Actually.. That was a good idea...

The two gods silently followed behind you, watching you nervously try your best to avoid social conversation, but they noticed how the other mortals seemed to look down upon you for wearing so much golden jewellery.

"H-he-hello..." You murmured out meekly as you approached the man selling fruits and different herbs. Leaning forward, you carefully inspected the cranberries and cinnamon specifically, knowing that they were Philza's and Technoblade's favourite offerings.

You heard footsteps walking behind you, but because the market was busier than normal today, you decided to brush it off. Until you felt someone gently grab the golden jewellery dangling from your ears, giving it a light pull, "Solid gold, ey? Aren't you a poor little peasant?" A voice male voice cooed softly in your ear, causing you to spin around quickly, backing up until you hit the table that all the fruit and herbs were placed on.

Dream. The high priest of DreamXD's temple. The God of Control and Manipulation. This man truly believed he was the walking incarnate of the god himself, and even named himself after the god! Truly a maniac...

"Dream..." You murmured softly, your body trembling and flinching away from his touch, "I-I'm not giving them to you for you to offer up to your twisted god... I worship Technoblade and Philza... No one else."

The masked man growled in annoyance before he snapped his fingers and two men in masks grabbed onto your shoulders before beginning to tear the golden jewellery off of your body. Snapping the golden chains off from around your neck and wrists, pulling the earrings out of your ears and the golden bands from around your biceps. The entire time you yelped and begged for them to leave the gifts you had received from your gods alone, everyone else around you putting their heads down and averting their eyes, pretending not to see you.

A flurry of black feathers clouded your vision and you heard three hard thuds before a loud barking voice echoed through your ears.

"How DARE you!"

"Techno! Help me burn this damned village to the ground!"

[thingsthatbleedfic]

First, I wanna say that I absolutely love this fic. Chapter one and I'm already done for, hook line and sinker. The relationship between Alex and Danny that we've seen so far is both intriguing and endearing. I love how Alex just kind of coaches Danny through how to blend in, in a public space. It's just plain charming.

This fic hasn't even been out long and I've already re-read it multiple times

Just one chapter and I'm already obsessed. Hook, line and sinker doesn't even cover it. It's an incredible way to start the fic, just everything you guys have done. I can't wait to read more. I love the found family trope and to see this trio with that tag.. I just love it. I'm at the edge of my seat and can't wait to see more of Yassen interacting with the two.

I was also wondering though, from what you've said it sounds like you guys have made a lot of progress with this fic before you posted the first chapter. Maybe even finished it. So, I was wondering, if that's really the case, are you planning on posting on a schedule?

Sorry if that's rude 😅 I'm not trying to be

Thank you so much from all three of us! We were so happy to get this ask you have no idea asdfghjk We’ve been excited about this project for SO long, and so being able to share it and have people already, just with chapter one, be as excited as we are is unbelievably rewarding. 

One of the most exciting aspects of this project is the difference in life experience and skills. Alex coming from an intelligence background means he has so many practical skills that Danny just,,,, does not have. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, given the found family tag, the story is so central to the three of them and how their relationship to each other develops all while dealing with these large and dangerous life circumstances.  

Also, you’re right! We’ve made a decent amount of progress on the fic! While we started talking about this fic idea in November last year, we were in planning and concept stages for about four months before we made the official document and began writing in February of this year. 

However, good news and bad news I guess, depending on how you look at this, we are nowhere near finished with it! (like good lord, this is going to be a long fic.) At this point we have roughly five chapters written (still in need of further editing and streamlining). This is getting us to the middle-ish of this “arc”. My rough estimate, going by how things are progressing is going to be about 80-100k words for the first arc alone. This will be the first arc of many, and also only the first fic in a planned four part series. Our main sources of inspo for this fic are Phantom Of Truth and Shadow of a Doubt ( Series by Haiju) Of Madness and Mammals (series by Briarwitched) and The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea (By pongnosis). These fics should give you an idea of how long this fic will run.

As for posting on a schedule! At this point we don’t have a set schedule, no. We love writing this fic and are very dedicated, but we all have a lot of general life responsibilities going on that may get in the way. (We also have some other fics we are working on simultaneously) But we’ve discussed a goal of a new chapter per month, chapters so far ranging in length from 9k-11k words. So! We hope the wait is worth it!

Thank you so much for this ask! Stay tuned for more :D 

[georgiadixon]

Harder, Buck

pairing: stucky x reader or something like that

genre/warnings: nsfw, angst, fwb, cursing, mutual pining, fluffy ending, lots of bucky love <3

a/n: i've been messing around with this one for about a year and i think it's about time it sees the light of day. enjoy!

Steve can hear your moans through the wall.

They’re deafening, never-ending, piercing right through his heart and straight to his cock. The ache in his chest will surely never vanish, no matter how often he tries to stop or how excruciatingly tight he grips himself just to relieve a fraction of the heat coursing through him.

Nights like these make him feel like the walls are taunting him, begging his resolve to crush. But no matter how tight he keeps his eyes closed, the truth is impossible to deny.

He is ridiculously, overwhelmingly, unbearably in love.

He wonders if the serum is a curse, if he was damned to a life of untouchable grief. There’s no reason he should be here, no reason he should be so close but ridiculously far from the man he has given his life to time and time again.

Steve wants to punch the wall with the aggression and pain he feels from never saying anything. And then he wants to kick down the door from how he doesn’t even know what or who he would have bothered to admit feelings for. He looks at you and wishes he would have just told the damn truth and he looks at Bucky and wonders if he’s ever thinking about him, too.

Too late. You were too late. Now they’re each other’s and they’ll never be yours.

He can’t help but listen to the intruding thoughts of regret, and he can’t help but feel like the feelings inside of him that randomly creep up just don’t belong to him.

Because as adamant as you are about your relationship being strictly physical, he sees the way Bucky looks at you.

It’s the way he looks at you, too.

He thinks he loves you and he knows it’s wrong because he knows he loves Bucky and he’d be damned before he messes up the first thing to make him genuinely happy in a long, long time.

It’s easy to bury during the day, when the sunlight hits his eyes as you’re laughing at something dumb he said and he can pretend that you’re just friends. That the sound of your laugh doesn’t light up his heart in every way, that you aren’t the most beautiful fucking thing he’s ever seen.

A swirl of emotions are running through him at an unforgivable pace and he swears he would do anything to feel something other than this.

Cheap. 

He finishes in his hand with a grunt and an unmistakable pain in his chest.

Because Steve knows you’re in love and he knows this is wrong.

He’s fucked.

-

Bucky can hear Steve’s grunts through the wall.

He’s unforgivingly pounding into you, nearing breaking the headboard from how hard he’s clutching it and rocking it in time with his thrusts.

Moments like these make him wonder if the serum is a curse.

Because when he closes his eyes, if he lets himself drift, he’s back in ‘44. He’s stuck in a lopsided tent on its last legs in the backwoods of Brooklyn because “Bucky, we have to make the most out of what we have.” And even though it wasn’t much, it was enough to feel his boy in the early hours of the morning and hold him close until sunlight, knowing there might not be a tomorrow. Knowing that every single second needs to last forever because Steve was already slipping through his fingers with every passing one.

He could look his love right in the eyes, sweet and soft and suddenly bigger than him but he was still Steve and he would always need to feel his boy under him. Hot skin and sweat and groans and “Harder, Buck.”

The scratches on his back are burning but the burn is delicious and he needs to be closer.

He needs to be closer, closer to the glowing skin under him that he’s felt time and time again and he’s pulled down by the neck but it’s not him.

It’s not him. Not anymore.

He’s snapped back to reality, seeming impossibly far away but manages to focus on you again. 

“What did you say?” He’s breathless, dazed, confused. His mind is clouded from not so distant memories on the other side of the wall and the feel of you squeezing the life out of him.

“I said,” You’re breathless as well, but totally consumed with how much Bucky there really is around you, inside of you right now. You wrap your hands around his neck and kiss him, spit dripping from where your lips collide and you feel like you could swallow him whole.

“Harder, Buck.”

He gives it to you. He gives you what you need, what you want and you’re ok with being selfish because he’s not all here, and this isn’t supposed to mean anything. Not really.

It’s dirty. It’s messy. And you know it’s wrong when the distance in his eyes never leaves and you can’t help but wonder just what is going on in his mind but damn, the Bucky that is here feels good.

-

You can hear them talking about you in the next room.

It makes you nervous, being able to tell that there were underlying (or resurfacing) feelings between the soldiers from the moment you met them.

It didn’t really have anything to do with you, as you were verbally adamant to Bucky on no strings attached. Baseless, simple, easy pleasure. And damn, did James Barnes know how to deliver.

But you can’t help but think a little too hard about the way they both stare at you when they think you don’t notice, or the way they stare at each other when they think it’s not obvious.

The truth is, you can keep lying to yourself, but there’s no mistake to the feelings you get deep in your chest when Bucky’s holding you, or the feelings you get when Steve’s looking at you like your laugh is lighting up his whole world.

Feelings that don’t belong to you.

“How’s everything with Y/N going?”

You can hear Steve question Bucky about you. It’s confusing, overwhelming. This entire situation is.

You had already assumed Steve knows just about everything involving your relationship with Bucky. They’re best friends. More. But it’s easy to overanalyze and wish to know just how much he was saying when you aren’t listening. How much a “friends with benefits” situation could really warrant discussion.

“It’s alright.” You know that tone. He’s brooding. Upset about something. Or everything, it feels like sometimes. Like something is always missing.

Like the world wouldn't be enough.

“Just alright?” Steve’s ‘captain’ voice is in full effect. He’s trying to get him to talk. It doesn’t seem like it will be successful, but if anyone could pump some life into Bucky it would be Steve. Your chest aches with that thought.

You could never be enough.

You hear Bucky sigh and shuffle around. “It’s good. It’s really good.”

“But?” Steve’s smirk can be heard clearly through his words.

“How’d you know there was a but?” Bucky jokes, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. You know him well enough to be able to.

“I know you better than anyone.”

You almost want it to hurt, to be jealous because if you’re being honest there’s not much in the world you want more than to have all of Bucky Barnes, to be the one who knows him, the one who he lets in. But you can’t, because as annoying as it is, Steve Rogers is always right.

-

Bucky’s head is spinning.

Steve knows him too well to avoid his question, but his nerves are taking over and he doesn’t know how he’s going to do this, how he’s going to tell Steve everything he’s wanted to since he’s been back and everything that was never gone in the first place.

He takes a deep breath, and he thinks about you. He thinks about how he feels when he’s with you, and he thinks about how even though he knows he loves you there’s something missing.

And then he rips the 80 year old band-aid off.

“I miss you.”

It’s quiet, soft, almost imperceptible, like he’s scared of what he’s saying.

Maybe because he is.

Steve’s response sounds exactly the same.

“I’m right here, Buck.”

He scoffs at that, shaking his head and if Steve wasn’t so damn detail-oriented he wouldn’t have seen his lip quiver in quiet anticipation.

Steve knows Bucky won’t speak next, so he gulps and tries to find the words, at least the next words from the countless speeches he’s practiced in his head for this moment.

“I love her.”

Bucky looks up and locks eyes with him, and for a second Steve thinks he’s in trouble.

But Bucky smiles. He looks out towards the city through the floor-to-ceiling mirrors and sort of nods to himself at how stupid they’re all being for tip-toeing around each other.

“I know.”

Steve’s eyebrows are furrowed as he leans back a bit, waiting for something else. It doesn’t come, so he relaxes and leans further towards the man sitting across from him and stares deep into his eyes, praying he really hears his next words.

“I love you.”

Bucky smiles again.

“I know.”

He isn’t sure if he’s waiting for the right moment or just likes seeing Steve speechless, but he’s sitting on something big and it’s been far too long of almost everything he’s ever wanted.

He’s loved Steve since he was a stupid teenager. He’s been in love with Steve since the first time he punched a guy for him and swore to himself he’d never let him go.

He woke up from years of torture, not just physical but mental and emotional having to be apart for so long and never being able to forget him.

You were an accident. He didn’t mean to fall. He went along with your whole “friends with benefits” idea because he just needed to be close to you. You were entrancing, lovely, intoxicating. He needed you. He needs you. It’s been racking his brain for so long of the growing feelings he has for you and the pure need he has for Steve but he’s learning to let go and say fuck it.

I want you both. I need you both.

“Do you think we could be happy? All of us?”

Steve smiles that smile Bucky knows and loves all too much like the answer is obvious, like it always has been. He loses himself in the thought for only a moment, but long enough to miss Bucky’s face fall with worry.

“What are you scared of?”

Steve speaks as if he can read his mind, because honestly, he probably can, and Bucky looks up at the question and decides they’ve both been through too much for anymore lying or beating around the bush. It’s now, or it’s never. Life is too uncertain to waste anymore time.

“Losing you. Again.”

Steve tilts his head at this, because he’s always felt like he’s the one who lost Bucky. Watching him fall from the train took something from him and putting him back under took even more but maybe that’s not what he meant.

Maybe it never was.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky laughs sadly at Steve’s words and wishes that was a promise that could be kept, that was more simple. None of this is simple. Nothing has been since the 40s.

“I’m not the same person I was in the 40s, Steve.”

“Neither am I.”

He knows this. He knows everything is different, but when he looks at Steve and he’s looking back at him the same way it’s like they never left Brooklyn.

And he finally gets to ask the question that’s been lingering in his head since Wakanda. 

“You think you could love me again?”

Without hesitation, Steve knows his answer. He’s known it since he left him to heal.

“Never stopped.”

-

You try to hurry away when you hear them coming, but they’re both way too clever to not have noticed you.

You stop and let them catch up to you, the butterflies leaving your stomach and making their way up into your throat.

Despite your nerves, you turn and lock eyes with Bucky. Even when the world’s spinning, you can never help but look at him like he hung the stars for you.

Bucky’s looking back at you the way he always does, like he has a million things running through his mind but he loves you too much to burden you with any of them. You just wish he knew he could never be a burden. That you loved him, all of him.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I know, Buck. I love you too.”

He smiles at your return to his confession, some of his nerves leaving knowing that you feel the same. But then he remembers the man next to him and they all come rushing back. He doesn’t want to lose you, not when he just got you. But he can’t deny his boy. Not anymore.

He glances over at Steve nervously and grabs his hand, preparing himself for what he’s about to say next.

“I love Steve, too.”

You smile at him, appreciating that he’s finally letting himself feel the things you’ve always known he has.

“I know, Buck. I love him too.”

Steve looks up at you at this, questioning what you really meant. You look back at him, smile, and give him the eyes you’ve wanted to ever since you met him. He’s hesitant at first, but as if a switch hits his brain, his face lights up at the recognition of your feelings for him. And with one look from your golden boy, all of your nerves wash away and you know this is right.

Bucky, who still hasn’t seemed to catch on, is struggling to find his words. He’s stressed, and you and Steve watch him run a hand through his hair in frustration. The same smile appears on both your faces watching your boy fumble over himself trying to explain the situation, trying to make everything right not even noticing it already is.

You step forward to push his hair back so you can see his face, and you take a moment to admire just how beautiful he really is. You kick yourself for wasting so much time not telling him that, but you make a silent promise to yourself that you won’t go another day without it. Without telling both of them how amazing they are, and how they both make you feel more loved than any person could ever deserve.

With your hand still on Bucky’s cheek, you lean in close and press the lightest kiss of your life onto his lips, making him smile shyly into it. And then you lean back, grabbing Steve’s face with your other hand and giving him the hardest, most passionate kiss of your life in the same breath.

Bucky wonders why he was ever nervous at all.

You look at the pure, unadulterated happiness on his face and you know you’ve never seen him like this. For half a moment you want to be jealous, you want to be upset that you couldn’t do this for him on your own. But it all disappears when you see them looking at each other and not being sorry for it anymore. It makes you realize that maybe it’s ok you couldn’t be enough on your own. Maybe it was always supposed to take Steve and you, together, to make him whole again.

Bucky kisses Steve, hard, right as he winks your way and grabs Steve’s hand to lead him back to your room which you can catch glimpses of all three of you living in, in peace.

He runs a hand through his hair and just looks so goddamn happy that you swear your heart isn’t capable of loving him anymore.

And then Steve looks back at you and he smiles his golden boy smile and you swear your heart could collapse at how much you know you love him.

Yeah. You’re fucked.

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Reassurance

masterlist

part one

Summary: Spencer feels insecure, and Reader puts his worries to rest. 

A/N: I got several requests to write a follow-up to Avoidance , and after writing almost the whole entire thing, only to scrap it all because it was literal trash, here we are! I initially planned to go a different route with this, but it didn’t flow right and I ended up changing the entire plot line somewhere along the way. I really like how this turned out, and I hope you guys enjoy it, too!

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom!Reader

Content warnings: cursing, Spencer being insecure, hand job, oral sex (male receiving), anal fingering, pegging, light degradation, Spencer experiencing sub-drop

Word Count: 6k

           Spencer’s lips drag against mine at a slow, deliberate pace as I sit perched on his lap, my hands tugging lightly at where his hair curls at the nape of his neck. One particularly harsh tug has Spencer gasping into my mouth and tightening his grip on my hips, pulling me down until I’m fully sat on his lap. The bulge tenting his slacks comes in full contact with my clothed core and I hum appreciatively against his lips.

           “Getting excited there, baby?”

           Spencer lets out a whine of protest when I pull away, leaning forward in an attempt to reunite our lips. I press my hand flat against his chest and push him back until he rests against the couch cushions.

           “I thought you wanted to watch a movie tonight?” I ask him, my lips curled up into a knowing smile. Spencer’s thumbs begin to rub soothing circles into my hips as he fixes me with a shy smile.

           “Maybe later,” he replies, sheepish. He looks breathtaking - bathed in the soft glow of the lamp light, shadows dancing across every perfectly chiseled inch of his face. Faint purple bruises dot the underside of his jaw line, remnants of the last time we had been afforded enough time to get tangled up under the bedsheets. I press my thumb to one of them, applying just enough pressure to cause Spencer’s breath to hitch. In another day or two, the purple and yellow discoloration would be gone, leaving no trace of our time together.

           I release my hold on his jaw and make a mental note to see to it that he has another set of pretty marks before the weekend is over.

           “Later?” I lift the hand that was splayed across his chest until I’m able to fiddle with the top button on his dress shirt. “You talk as if you have something else you’d like to do first. Care to share?”            Spencer squirms underneath my gaze, eyes flitting between my lips and where I’m pressed firmly against his erection. I watch him flounder to come up with a response before deciding to forgo words completely and rut himself against me, eyelids fluttering closed as he lets out a low whine.

           I click my tongue at him and raise up until my center hovers over him, torturously close but not quite close enough to touch.

           “What’s the matter, Doctor? It’s not like you to be at a loss for words,” I taunt as I pop open the last three buttons of his shirt. Now that the milky white skin of his chest is on full display, I waste no time in dragging my fingernails from his collarbone down to his navel, light and teasing. The action elicits a shiver from Spencer, who looks up at me with glossy eyes and blown pupils.

           “P-Please,” he stutters out.

           “Please, what?” I prod, cocking my head to the side. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

           Spencer’s tongue pokes out to run across his bottom lip.

           “I want you,” he breathes out, low and sultry. “Now. Don’t wanna wait.”

           I let out a pleased sigh as I lean forward to capture Spencer’s lips in a heated kiss. Spencer’s quick to reciprocate, eagerly licking into my mouth as soon as my lips brush against his.

           It’s not long until I feel the hands on my waist begin to tug me back down onto his lap, eliciting a giggle from me.

           “Such a needy little thing,” I murmur against his lips.

           Usually, a comment like this would be met by some sort of mumbled affirmation. But this time, as soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel Spencer’s whole body tense up beneath me.

           “Does… Does that bother you?”

           I pull away and give Spencer an inquisitive look.

           “Does what bother me?”

           Spencer averts his eyes, “That I’m so submissive.” He spits the word out like it burns his mouth – like it’s something to be ashamed of – and I can’t suppress my frown.

           “Why would that ever bother me?”

           Spencer gives a feeble shrug of his shoulders, still refusing to pull his gaze from where it rests on the floor.

           “I read an article in Psychology Today that discussed a survey in which 172 German adults completed a personality questionnaire and then measured their own preference for a dominant partner. Not only was the general consensus that both genders prefer dominant partners, the participants also agreed with statements like ‘a very nice partner is often boring’ and ‘I feel attracted to assertive partners.’ So, it’s only natural that you might get tired of me always being such a pushover and search for a more exciting partner than can keep you stimulated-”

           I clamp my hand down on Spencer’s mouth, effectively ending his self-deprecating rant and forcing him to look up from where his eyes were burning a hole into the floor. When I know he isn’t going to try and continue down that particularly awful train of thought, I remove my hand.

           “First of all, you are not a pushover. Insinuating that you are a pushover would also be insinuating that I’m taking advantage of you. Do you feel like I’m taking advantage of you?” Spencer’s eyes grow wide and he frantically shakes his head.

           “Absolutely not. I… I love what you do to me – with me. What we do together. I-I just want to be sure that you like it to. That you’re not just humoring me until someone who can actually give you what you want comes around.”

           I feel my mouth fall open from shock somewhere during the middle of his spiel. He can’t actually be so oblivious to the fact that I enjoy the hell out of our sex life, can he?

           Apparently, he can and he is, because Spencer takes my silence as affirmation.

           “I could try? To d-dom you, that is. I’ve been reading up on it and-”

           “Spencer, where on earth did this come from?”

           Spencer blinks hard, “I told you – I read it in Psychology Today.”

           I shake my head at him and slip off of his lap and onto the couch cushion beside him.

           “No, that’s not what I meant. What made you think that I’m not happy with our sex life?”

           “N-Nothing in particular,” Spencer stammers. “I just know that I’m not exactly the most masculine guy, and I want to make sure that you’re, you know… happy. With me.”

           And there it is.

           I reach for Spencer’s hand and link our fingers together.

           “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that comment Derek made this morning, would it?” Spencer doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes drop to his lap tells me everything I need to know. I tighten my grip on his hand. “You know he was just messing with you, right? As out of line as it was, he was just being… Derek.”

           “He wasn’t wrong, though. I am extremely docile – along with a litany of other very passive traits. I’m not strong or assertive or confident like Derek; I’m basically the complete opposite of the ideal male partner. All I’m good for is spouting out information that’s only sometimes useful. No wonder you don’t want to-” Spencer clamps his mouth shut and his cheeks burn red. “Forget it. C-Can we pretend this conversation never happened?”

           “No wonder I don’t want to what?” I prod, brows furrowed in confusion. But still, Spencer refuses to meet my eyes. “And as far as all the other stuff goes, it doesn’t matter if you’re assertive or strong. I prefer my sweet, gentle boy over guys like Derek Morgan, any day. My ideal male partner just so happens to be pretty boys with curly brown hair and massive IQs, not aggressive alpha males with overinflated egos.” I bring Spencer’s hand up to my lips and place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I’m being serious, Spence. There’s a lot to love about you.”

           Spencer’s next words are hushed, so quiet that I almost don’t hear him when he says, “Then why haven’t you told anyone about us yet?”

           In the two months since our first time together, neither of us had been brave enough to broach the subject of what exactly we were doing. With neither of us quite sure how to go about defining the relationship, we’d fallen into a sort of routine. Whenever it came time to pair off for the night and retreat to our hotel rooms, Spencer and I always made sure that we were paired together. Hotch never seemed to care – he was just happy that we weren’t walking on eggshells around each other anymore - and the others were kind enough to keep their suspicions to themselves. On the weekends, or really any time that we weren’t working a case, time off was spent in each other’s company, be it at Spencer’s place or mine. Days full of impromptu adventures to farmer’s markets and niche antique shops devolved into passionate nights spent learning every inch of each other’s skin until no stone was left unturned. It was the perfect arrangement.

           Or at least it would’ve been, if Spencer and I hadn’t managed to fall half way in love somewhere along the way. It was glaringly obvious early on that it was way more than just sexual chemistry that kept us both coming back for more, but owning up to that fact was a whole other issue that neither of us was ready to deal with.

           Until now, apparently.

           “I-I mean, we haven’t talked about what exactly this is, so I wasn’t quite sure how to go about that,” I stammer. “But now that you’ve brought it up…”

           Spencer finally looks up and his eyes are filled to the brim with equal parts fear and hope.

           “I-I really want there to be an us,” he whispers. “I kind of thought that much was obvious.”

           “And I thought the fact that I have absolutely zero complaints in the bedroom was obvious, but here we are,” I tease, and Spencer lets out an involuntary giggle when I poke at his side. “I want there to be an us, too. And for what it’s worth, I like you just the way you are, Spencer Reid - just so we’re clear.”

           “Really?” Spencer persists. From anyone else, it would seem like they were fishing for compliments, but from Spencer? I knew my sweet, darling boy just needed some reassurance.

           I lean forward and capture his lips in a long, languid kiss.

           “Really really,” I mumble when I pull away. “Have I done a thorough enough job drilling that into your head, or do you need some more convincing?”

           “More convincing,” Spencer replies as he ducks in for another kiss. “Lots and lots of convincing.”

           I smile against his lips, “That’s good to hear, because I sorta had a little something special planned for you.”

           “Something special?”

           I slide my hand from its place on his knee until my fingers glide across the tip of his clothed cock.

           “Remember that thing we talked about last week?”

           I can feel the way Spencer’s cock twitches under my hand and I have to bite back a smile.

           “Y-Yeah?”

           I give his bulge a light squeeze that has Spencer moaning low in his throat.

           “Only if you want to. There’s no pressure at all. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’d be perfectly fine if you just wanna watch that movie and cuddle a bit - you know that right?”

           “Yes, but I still want to,” Spencer chokes out. “Very, very much.” And then he’s bringing a hand up to cup my face before slotting our lips together again.

           The kiss is sloppy, seeing as we’re both much too excited to worry about being precise. Spencer spends time exploring my body with his free hand, starting at my hips and then dipping underneath my t-shirt. Spencer’s hand is just shy of skimming over my bra when I pull back and he lets out a frustrated whine when I pull his hands off of me.

           “I wanna ask you a few things before we do this, okay, baby?” Spencer flushes a deep crimson as he nods. “Have you ever experimented with any sort of anal play before?”

           “N-No, I haven’t. Is that okay?”

           Spencer Reid, you are going to be the death of me.

           “That’s perfectly fine, sweet boy,” I coo. “I’m just trying to get a feel for what’s going to be the most comfortable for you. We’ll start small and work our way up, okay?” Spencer nods, prompting me to tack on an, “Assuming that you want to, that is. This is all on your terms, and I need to make sure that you know that nothing’s going to happen that you don’t expressly consent to first.”

           Spencer’s lips pull up into a sweet smile.

           “I know, and I trust you,” he says. “And I consent to it. To all of it.”

           “You’re gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that,” I chuckle. “What exactly are you consenting to?”

           Spencer shifts in his seat, “Y-You know.”

           “Yes, but I want to hear you say it, baby.”

           Spencer gulps hard, “I-I want you to fuck me. Please.”

           I let out a satisfied hum and remove my hand from Spencer’s lap.

           “I want you to go to the bedroom and take off all your clothes. Then I want you to lie in the center of the bed and if I walk in and see you touching yourself, I’ll walk right back out and I won’t touch you for a month. Are we clear?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss.”

--

           I spend much longer than necessary in the living room, sitting on the couch and scrolling through my phone for nearly ten minutes before getting up and making my way to the bedroom. The anticipation is half of the fun, in my opinion, and I take great pleasure in imagining Spencer squirming against the sheets, desperate for me to walk through that door.

           I rid myself of my skirt and blouse as I make my way down the hallway, leaving me in only my panties and bralette. I can hear Spencer’s heavy breathing before I even reach the bedroom, and it makes my stomach flip excitedly as I push open the door.

           Spencer lays in the middle of the bed, hands grabbing at the sheets as he rolls his hips in vain. His cock stands painfully hard, leaking precum and bobbing up and down with every motion of his hips. Spencer doesn’t see or hear me when I come in – his eyes are closed tight and his bottom lip is nestled between his teeth, blissfully oblivious as he ruts up into nothing.

           “It seems like my poor, needy boy has worked himself up into quite a state.”

           The sound of my voice startles him and he immediately halts the movement of his hips. Spencer’s eyes watch on and I walk over to the night stand, taking my time as I remove a bottle of lube, my harness, and the newly purchased dildo bought especially for my sweet boy.

           Spencer’s eyes linger on the silicone member, wide and curious as I set the items on the bed and crawl in between his legs. He spreads his legs without being prompted, leaving him completely exposed to me, and the action makes my heart swell with pride. My good boy has learned so much in the past two months.

           “M’gonna suck that pretty cock of yours now, and I want you to keep your hips still. Can you do that for me, baby?”

           Spencer nods frantically, “Y-Yes, Miss. Please – I need your mouth. I’ll be still, I promise.”

           I let out a pleased hum as I take him into my hand, dragging my fist up and down, spreading precum across the entirety of his length.

           “I know you will, baby. You’re always so good for me. So eager to please.”

           I lean down and begin placing kisses to the sensitive skin of his thighs, all while continuing to work my hand against him. I nip lightly at the skin above his right hip and Spencer sucks in a ragged breath when I suck a pretty purple bruise in the very same spot. It contrasts starkly with his porcelain skin, and I enjoy the way it looks so much that I continue until a plethora of love bites litter his inner thighs. When I finally sit back and admire my work, Spencer’s writhing so pitifully against the mattress that I decide to put him out of his misery.

           Spencer devolves into a whimpering mess the moment I take his tip into my mouth, his head thrashing wildly against the mattress when I swirl my tongue around him. I take my time with him, not at all rushing my descent onto his cock, choosing instead to tease him with a slow, steady pace. If Spencer minded my slower than usual pace, he didn’t say so. He was too busy choking out an unrelenting string of the most wanton moans I’d ever heard as he watched himself disappear into my mouth.

           I decide now is as good a time as any to up the ante and I pull my mouth away from him.

           “W-Why did you stop?” Spencer stutters, chest heaving up and down.

           I raise an eyebrow at him, “Are you being ungrateful, Doctor? Because if you are, I could always just leave you here like this - cock hard and leaky with no way to get off other than your own hand. That wouldn’t be nearly as fun as having me fuck that pretty little ass of yours.”

           “No, please! I’m so sorry,” Spencer mewls. “I’ll be good, just please don’t leave!”

            I loosely grasp Spencer’s cock in my hand and run my thumb across his slit.

           “You sound so pretty when you beg, baby. I can’t wait to hear how pretty you are when you’re begging for me to fuck you harder.”

           Spencer’s eyes roll back into his head and his mouth hangs open, panting hard.

           “I want it so bad. Please, please, please, Miss.”

           I use my free hand to reach up and push two fingers into Spencer’s mouth, “Suck. I want them real nice and wet so that I can use them to get you ready for me.”

           Spencer moans around my fingers, laving his tongue around the them as he hollows his cheeks. When I retract my fingers from his mouth they’re practically dripping and I reward his effort by tightening my grip on his cock.

           “Good job, baby. Are you ready for me to finger that tight little hole of yours?” I ask him as I release his cock and grab the bottle of lube. I drizzle a healthy amount onto my fingers before dragging one across his puckered hole, eliciting a high-pitched cry from Spencer.

           “Yes!” Spencer gasps as he attempts to wiggle closer. “So ready for you, Miss. Use your f-fingers on me, please!”

           I start by slowly pressing one in, so as not to overwhelm him, and to my endless delight, it glides in almost effortlessly.

           “Already so ready for my fingers, Doctor. You sure you haven’t touched yourself here before?” I ask as I begin to work my finger in and out in slow thrusts.

           “N-Never. O-Only you,” Spencer stutters out between moans. “C-Can you add another, Miss?”

           I pull my finger out, only to add another and resume my efforts at a slightly faster pace. Spencer’s back arches up off the bed when my fingers brush against his prostate and he lets out a half startled, half delighted yelp.

           “Oh fuck!” Spencer moans as he grinds down onto my fingers. “Again, please, Miss!”

I comply, and with every press of my fingers against the fleshy bundle of tissue, Spencer’s body jolts from the sensation.

           “S’that feel good, baby? Do you like how my fingers feel?”

           “Oh, God, yes! F-Feels so good. Never felt like this b-before,” Spencer sobs. “I-I’m getting close, Miss.”

           “I didn’t say that you can cum, baby. I wanna save that for when I’ve got my cock buried inside you. How’s that sound?”

           “Y-Yes, Iwantitsobad,” Spencer slurs, his words running together as he draws nearer and near to the end. “Want you to fuck me, Miss! Please, I’ll do anything-”

           I take pity on him and withdraw my fingers, which makes Spencer keen in protest.

           “Calm down, greedy boy. Just gotta get ready so I can give you what you want.”

           I crawl off of the bed and step into the harness, fastening it in place and making sure that the dildo is secure before I crawl in between his legs. Spencer watches on with rapt fascination as I pour lube into my palm and work it over the silicone cock until every inch of it glistens.

           “What’s your color, baby?” I ask as rub the tip of the cock over his hole.

           Spencer’s breath catches in his throat and his whole-body tenses with anticipation.

           “So green, Miss. So fucking green,” Spencer whimpers.

           I raise a hand up to his hip and begin to rub soothing circles into the skin there.

           “Gonna need you to relax for me, sweetheart. Can you do that?”            Spencer bites his lip and nods his head. I watch as the tension begins to melt away, and when I see him relax back into the mattress, I bring up my hand to stroke his cock. I keep my touch light, barely applying pressure – I knew if I applied too much, Spencer wouldn’t be able to hold out longer than a few thrusts. He was already teetering on the edge as it was.

           Mine and Spencer’s eyes meet and he smiles up at me, dopey and drunk from pleasure, and it’s all the permission I need. I press into him slowly, and I’m left in awe as I watch Spencer Reid completely unravel beneath me.

           “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Spencer curses, head flying back and hitting the pillows. It never ceases to amaze me at how fucking responsive he is, and tonight is no exception. It’s like his body is a live wire, trembling beautifully as I press in further and further and further. I stop just shy of being fully sheathed inside him, trying to allow him a moment to adjust, but Spencer seems to have other plans.

           “Keep going, Miss, don’t stop, please! I want all of it, please give it to me! I can take it, please let me show you!”

           He looks up at me and those beautiful brown eyes are so wild, so positively feral that I can’t even entertain the idea of denying him any longer.

           Spencer looks positively ruined by the time I bottom out inside him. His hair sticks to the sheen of sweat that gathers on his forehead, and his lips look positively abused from the way he’s been biting down on them. His eyelids flutter closed every few seconds, and every time he blinks them back open, I’m able to see that his pupils are so blown that his eyes look almost black.

           I pull back until all that’s left inside him is the very tip of the cock, and just as he opens that bratty little mouth to beg for more, I give particularly harsh thrust of my hips until I’m fully sheathed inside him. Spencer lets out a surprised cry as I set an unforgiving pace, all the while still loosely jerking him off as I bury myself inside him again and again and again.

           “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Spencer chants loudly, face contorted beautifully in an expression of pure ecstasy. I spare a brief thought to Spencer’s poor neighbors and make mental note to invest in a ball gag.

           “S’that feel good, baby? You look so pretty taking my cock like the good boy you are. My pretty little cock slut. Such a shame nobody’s fucked you like this before,” I hum as I focus my attention on the head of his cock, thumbing lightly at where he leaks for me.

           “D-Don’t want anyone else, just wanna be good for y-you. Wanna m-make you proud,” Spencer whines, tripping over his words as he struggles to form a coherent sentence. The sentiment sends a jolt of heat down to my already soaking core, but I do my best to ignore the slickness running down my thighs for the time being. Right now, my only focus is the boy chanting my name, praying for a type of salvation that only I can give him.

           I smile down at him and my hand drifts lower to where I’m steadily thrusting in and out of him. Spencer’s body jolts as the pad of my thumb brushes against the sensitive skin of his hole.

           “Of course, I’m proud of you. Look at how well you’re taking me, baby. It’s like you were made to take my cock,” I praise him.

           My words, mixed with the way I’m working both Spencer’s cock and his tight little ass, seem to be getting the better of him, because Spencer doesn’t even try to formulate a response. He just continues to let out strangled moans that almost sound like sobs as his hands grasp at the sheets until his knuckles turn white.

           It doesn’t take long until I feel the muscles in Spencer’s stomach and thighs begin to tense, and when his cock twitches in my hand I can tell Spencer won’t last much longer.

           “Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” I ask him as I grind my hips against his, and Spencer’s reply comes in the form of an incoherent, garbled moan.

           “What’s the matter, baby? Have I fucked you so stupid that you can’t answer me anymore?” I taunt him. I use the leverage I have from the hand placed on his hip to propel myself deeper. “Is my poor dumb baby incapable of replying?”

           Spencer makes a feeble attempt at a reply, “P-Please let me – f-fuck – cum! Oh, God, m’socloseMiss. Harder, please!”

           I take a minute to bask in the way he’s completely fallen apart at my hands - relishing in the way his eyes are glossy and dark with lust, in the way that his chest is flushed a deep red, and in the way that precum beads at the tip of his cock, aching for a release. He looks beautiful like this, whining and squirming, hips grinding down in search of more, more, more. I’d never imagined in a million years that I’d be so lucky as to see the illustrious Spencer Reid fucked absolutely senseless, but here he was, waiting for my permission to throw himself off the edge and into the best kind of oblivion.

           “Cum for me, pretty boy,” I say in the softest voice imaginable. “Show me how good you are.”

           The tension that had been steadily building since the first press of my lips against his snaps in an instant, and copious amounts of cum spurt out from his cock, painting his chest in thick, white ropes. Spencer chants out muddled thank yous as I fuck him through his release, pushing in and out of him in shallow strokes as slowly comes back down from the high.

           When his breathing slows down to a normal rate, I pull out of him, quickly freeing myself from the harness and tossing it aside to be dealt with later. I crawl up until I’m at eye level and begin pressing soft, sweet kisses to Spencer’s face.

           “You did so well, Spence,” I murmur against his skin. “You’re amazing, baby. Thank you so much for trusting me to be with you like that.”

           Spencer lifts a shaky hand to my hair and pulls me down into a heated kiss. I indulge him and pour every ounce of passion I have into my efforts, hoping to express my gratitude with every swipe of my lips against his. And when I pull away, my pretty boy smiles up at me, sated and full of adoration, and it’s beautiful.

           “D’you think you can handle taking a shower with me?” I ask as I pull away, and Spencer gives a shy nod in response. He sits up in the bed and swings his legs until his feet hit the floor. I’m just about to stand when his hand comes down on my wrist to stop me.

           “What about you? You didn’t . . .”

           “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. Tonight was all about you.”

           I move off of the bed and help him to his feet, holding him steady when his legs begin to shake. “Might be a little sore for a while, but it should go away within a day or so.”

           I help him to the bathroom and turn on the shower, and when it’s warm enough I rid myself of my bra and panties and motion for him to join me. I urge Spencer to step under the spray first, but his arms snake around me and pull me with him.

           Spencer nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck and he lets out a deep sigh.

           “You okay, bubs?” I ask him as I tangle my arms around his torso and begin to rub soothing circles into his back.

           “I just feel a little… down? I-Is this a sub drop? I read a little bit about them, but I don’t k-know…” he trails off, sniffling pitifully against my neck. “I-I just know that I want to hold you. Is that o-okay?”

           My heart lurches painfully in my chest as his voice wavers, and I pull back just enough that I can look into his weary eyes.

           “Baby, that’s more than okay. Sub drops are a perfectly normal thing to experience, and I’ll be right here to hold you for as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

           Spencer’s eyes fill with tears and he makes no attempt to hold them back, choosing to let them fall freely and mix in with the water pouring from the shower head.

           “T-Tell me you want me,” Spencer begs, lip wobbling pitifully. “I-I just feel like I’m not good enough for you, and I know it’s all in my head, and I know how you feel about me, but I just think it would help if you just… s-said it. Please?”

           I feel my heart break for the man that stood before me. The implication his words carry - that this wonderful, kind-hearted, extraordinarily gifted man could ever think so little of himself – was enough to bring tears to my own eyes. I swallow down the lump that forms in my throat and, with all the sincerity I can possibly muster, I reply.

           “I want you, Spencer Reid. I don’t want anyone else – only you,” I tell him, never once breaking eye contact. “For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

           Spencer chokes out a weak laugh, “And if I want you forever?”

           I nudge his nose with my own, and the act feels almost more intimate than everything that preceded it.

           “Then forever, it is,” I murmur. I press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away and reaching for the shampoo. “Now, turn around, pretty boy. Let me pamper you.”

--

           “Y/N!” Penelope calls out, sauntering over to me in a flash of hot pink taffeta. I’m in the middle of throwing my satchel over my shoulder when she runs up to me, excited smile on her face. “Me, you, JJ, Elle, and a bottle of tequila. You in?”

           On a normal day, the answer would have been a resounding hell yes. But today? I let my eyes wander over to where Spencer lingers near the glass doors, trying to look like he isn’t listening in. Very subtle.

           “I’m gonna have to pass on this one, Penelope.”

           Penelope’s smile transforms into a pout.

           “This is the third weekend in a row you’ve ditched us!” she whines, stomping her kitten heeled foot like a petulant child. “Either you’re avoiding us or you’ve got some secret lover we don’t know about. And if that’s the case, then we have a whole other problem, because that’s the kind of thing I expect to be told about immediately.”

           The giddy smile that stretches across my face gives me away before I even have the chance to open my mouth, sending Penelope into an absolute frenzy.

           “Oh my God, I cannot believe this. We’ll talk about how angry I am about being kept in the dark later because right now, I need details,” Penelope gushes. “Who is he? Where did you two meet? Is he hot?” Penelope barely gets the words out before she’s shaking her head. “Wait, that’s a dumb question. Of course, he’s hot - just look at you. Do I know him? When do I get to meet him?”

           I can’t help but laugh at Penelope’s enthusiasm.

           “Slow down, Pen,” I chuckle. “I didn’t tell you about it because it’s still relatively new, and it wasn’t until this past weekend that we finally decided to put a label on it.”

           “A label? Does that mean this guy is your boyfriend? Oh my God, I thought this day would never come,” Penelope sighs dreamily. But the far-away look in her eye quickly fades and Penelope begins to grill me with renewed fervor. “Y/N, you have to tell me who it is. It’s like, practically a crime that I’m only just now hearing about this, so you owe me this much. And I’ll be needing his first and last name, along with a DOB so that I can run a full back ground check ASAP. Don’t even try to talk me out of it – we deal with enough freakiness during our day jobs, and I insist on making sure the freakiness ends there.”

           I can feel a flush spread over my cheeks and I fiddle with the strap of my bag.

           “I, uh, don’t think a background check is going to be necessary. You know this guy pretty well already.”

           If Penelope had been worked up before, she was practically vibrating with excitement now.

           “I know him? Oh my God, this is so huge. Is it Brendon from down in sex crimes? Or maybe James from counter-terrorism?” Penelope muses aloud, before her eyes go almost comically wide. “Holy hell, it’s Anderson, isn’t it?”

           “It definitely isn’t Anderson, or any of the others, for that matter,” I laugh. “Do you want a hint?”

           “What I really want is for you to just tell me, but if you insist on dragging this out then yes, I would very much like a hint!”

           I cut my eyes over to where Spencer stands, and it’s impossible to miss the giddy grin on his face. So much for trying to remain subtle, Doctor Reid.

           I fake like I’m looking around for anyone within earshot before motioning for Penelope to lean in. She’s quick to comply, and I do one last exaggerated sweep of the room.

           “Alright then, here’s your hint,” I whisper into her ear. “He’s got an IQ of 187, and he’s a pretty kickass magician.”

           I lean back and adjust the strap of my bag, sparing one last, parting glance at Penelope, whose jaw is practically on the floor.

           “See you on Monday, Pen.”

           “W-Wait, are you serious?” Penelope calls out after me. “Reid is your mystery man?! Y/N, get back here right now and explain yourself! Derek, did you hear that?!”

           By the time I reach Spencer, Penelope’s voice fades into background noise as I focus all my attention on the way he smiles down at me. I link my hand with his and I’m vaguely aware of an increase in volume coming from Penelope’s direction, but I ignore in favor of smiling back at him.

           “You ready to get out of here, boyfriend?”

           Spencer squeezes my hand in his and he nods.

           “Ready when you are, girlfriend.”

-

-

-

taglist: @90spumkin​​ @moon-light-jukebox​​ @jessalyn-jpeg​ @pinkdiamond1016​​ @itsametaphorbriansblog​​ @eldahae​​ @itsmytimetoodream​ @kasaikawa​ @shadyladyperfection​

[safetycar-restart]

Hello shels i would love to get your thoughts on previous d/s au on the subs who would take the least time to adjust to their new dom and be trusting immediately vs those who would take longer maybe half a season or more (not taking into account seb/lewis because i feel like it would be cheating given that they've been on the grid for a while and we've established some of seb's lore)

Okay I love this question SO much. So so much. I’m vibing with the d/s au and past d/s au so much so this is just amazing I love it. I’m gonna talk about a few drivers and then hopefully some lovely anons will be inspired to share some thoughts.

(For context: the past d/s au is a version of a d/s au where the drivers had a terrible team Dom before you)

MICK:

In this AU, Mick had an awful Dom at Haas. You’re the Mercedes dom and so when Mick signs as their reserve, he comes into your care.

It definitely takes a long time with Mick. Mostly because his spirit is just broken. He puts on a good smile for the cameras and acts like he’s fine, but his trust and hope is shattered. He no longer feels safe as a submissive, no longer enjoys entering subspace and being cared for by a Dom.

It breaks your heart to see him like that, because it’s so clear that he could be this sweet, bright sub and instead he’s so distrustful if everything.

The solution to this is actually George? George is also a sub, and so you let Mick watch your scenes with George. You let Mick see how you treat George, how you love him, how much he loves you, and then slowly Mick will start to open up.

It’s very slow progress but he’s truly the sweetest thing when he’s ready to be.

CHARLES:

Charles is a high needs submissive. Charles needs to enter subspace regularly or else he can’t function. His ideal dynamic would be nearly 24/7. His old team dom took advantage of that.

But the sad thing is, he opens up to you pretty much the moment he meets you. Charles can’t do things half heartedly. And he needs to submit. He physically needs to submit to be able to do his job.

He doesn’t necessarily trust you instantly, but he lets you in instantly. He submits to you immediately. He enters subspace for you immediately.

He’s so starved for genuine affection and praise that when you offer it, he throws himself at you with no regard for the risk he’s taking.

It’s only months later, once he’s recovered and settled with you, that he’s able to look back and realise how badly he was treated before.

MAX:

Max takes a long time. Max’s old Dom was someone his dad chose for him, someone who his dad was happy with. He was treated awfully, but he was convinced it was right for him.

When you show up, he promises himself that he will never fully submit with you. He obeys your orders, he never talks back. But he’s not trying to reach subspace with you. He’s trying to just get through the scene and leave.

You get close with him not through scenes, but through other interactions. You chat with him, get to know him, share things about your life with him. And he hates how much he gets along with you, how much he enjoys sharing a lunch table with you, how interested he is to hear about day.

The season is over half way through the first time he properly enters subspace with you. But it’s worth it, because he actually trusts you by then. And from then onwards you’re his Dom for life.

PIERRE:

We’ve never discussed this au with Pierre before, but maybe we can say that you’re the alpine dom? His Dom at alpha Tauri wasn’t good for him. I think that Dom maybe broke his trust? They told alpha Tauri and red bull things he told them in confidence, about his personal well-being and how he felt and what he wanted to do. He was completely betrayed.

And then he moved to alpine, finding not only a new Dom but a new Dom who had been with Esteban for years? Yeah he’s not optimistic. Esteban tries to tell him that you’re good, that he’ll like you. But Pierre doesn’t trust a word esteban says.

He’s convinced you’ll tell Esteban and alpine anything he says to you. Which isn’t true of course. You’ll take your subs’ secrets to the grave.

So for a long time the scenes are almost clinical? You meet up, you Dom him, you give him an hour of aftercare and then he leaves. He gets what he needs and he’s out. He never speaks beyond answering your questions, and even then he won’t answer anything not pertaining to the scene at hand.

So you decide to start sharing things with Pierre? It’s so important for subs to have a real bond with their doms and feel safe there. Esteban comes over to bitch about things all the time. He scenes with you then sits on the couch and tells you about his day. He loves having a safe space for his thoughts.

Pierre isn’t there yet, so you help him along. You tell Pierre things that you wouldn’t want anyone knowing about you, things that would be embarrassing if they were to get out.

You give Pierre the power, letting him have leverage over you so that he can realise that you trust him.

[storiesforallfandoms]

survivor ~ captain jack sparrow;pirates of the caribbean

word count: 2090

request?: yes!

“Hello, I have an idea for a story with Jack Sparrow so I thought I'd request, one where Jack rescues the reader from a sunken ship at the ocean, where she was apparently the only survivor. At first, she's very reserved and cautious around him, but as they get to know each other and she's more comfortable with him, Jack sees himself falling hard for her, he has quite a lot of trouble dealing with/confessing his feelings but in the end, they get together. Thanks :D”

description: in which he saves the only survivor of a sunken ship and helps her to open up to his crew

pairing: jack sparrow x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, ptsd, and survivor’s guilt

masterlist (one, two)

The sight of the broken ship was haunting to the usually chipper crew of the Black Pearl. They had heard the explosion before seeing the wreckage, but hoped they were wrong in thinking it was a shipwreck.

Jack watched from the wheel, trying to keep a straight face as his eyes searched the water for signs of bodies. If they could save at least one person, just one, he would call it a victory.

“Call if you see anything,” he announced to his crew. “Anything we could salvage.”

But the further they travelled into the wreckage, the more evident it became that they weren’t going to find anything - or anyone.

Jack sighed, an ache in his heart for his fellow pirates who had likely died in the shipwreck. His eyes lingered on the water a moment longer before he started to turn away from the wreckage.

“Jack!” Elizabeth exclaimed as the boat began to turn. “There’s a girl in the water!”

They pulled the floating body out of the water. Her skin was stone cold and was nearly translucent it was so pale. Jack knelt down next to her and lowered his ear to her mouth. He couldn’t hear her breathing, and her chest wasn’t moving to signify there was any life left in her body. He started pushing on her chest, breathing into her mouth and nose between the pressing against her chest.

“She’s gone Jack,” Will said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s take her somewhere to gibe her a proper burial.”

Jack sighed. He didn’t want to give up, but there seemed like no hope in his attempts. As he sat back on his knees, the girl suddenly spit up whatever water was in her lungs and started coughing as she tried to catch her breath.

“Get her something to warm her, and some dry clothes!” Jack told two of his crew members. He regarded the panicking girl with a gentle touch, pulling her attention to him. She was breathing heavily, her eyes darting between the crew members in fear before they rested on Jack. “You’re alright, you’re safe now. We’ll take care of you.”

~~~~~~

Their new passenger, unsurprisingly, kept to herself for a while after she was saved. They kept her above deck for the rest of the day in order to make sure she was okay, but once the night came, Jack insisted she have her own space so she didn’t feel smothered with everyone else’s presence.

The first night was hard. She woke up screaming from nightmares of the crash, waking everyone else on the ship with her. She refused to talk to anyone who came to comfort her, and even physically pushed them away. After that, she was left alone by everyone.

Except for Jack.

Jack would visit her regularly to bring her food, clothes, and other supplies. He would ask her how she was, ask about her past and the ship she had been travelling on. His attempts were null as she never responded, but he didn’t stop trying.

Eventually, he did get her to speak her first sentence, “My name is (Y/N).”

The more he went to her, the more (Y/N) began to open up to him. It was a slow start, and even when he could get her to start talking she didn’t discuss much about herself, but soon enough she would be excitedly waiting for Jack’s daily visit, and eventually she even started to go to him to see him.

On one day, (Y/N) was waiting in Jack’s cabin for him to return from an adventure he had gone on. She was starting to look much better than the day she had been saved from the wreckage, and even before that. Jack and his crew hadn’t seen what she was before, but if they had they definitely would’ve been happy with her progress, no matter how slow it was.

She jumped when the door to Jack’s cabin opened violently and the captain stumbled in. His clothes were torn and he was bloody on his arms and his face. He was obviously hurt, but the way he sauntered over to his desk could’ve fooled anyone.

“What happened?” (Y/N) asked, standing from Jack’s bed to approach him.

“We walked right into their trap,” Jack responded, opening his desk and pulling a bottle of rum from it. “We weren’t ready for it.”

“Is everyone else...” (Y/N) trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

“We didn’t lose anyone,” Jack finished, knowing where she was going. “Just some injuries. They’re all being taken care of.”

He collapsed onto his chair, groaning as pain coursed through him. (Y/N) approached him and took the bottle from his hand. She retrieved the bandages from the bottom drawer in his desk and started to treat the wound on his face. Through the winces of pain, he smiled up at her.

“You know your way through my desk pretty well,” he teased.

When she smiled back at him, it was as if the entire room brightened. “I’ve watched you enough times to know where your medical supplies are, and to know that you do not know how to properly clean and dress a wound.”

“I try not to waste the rum.”

(Y/N) gave him a playful look before pouring some more of the rum over his wound. He winced and sucked in a painful breath as she dabbed the blood with a cloth before applying a bandage to it. She reached for his tattered shirt to take it off, but she hesitated a moment. Jack looked up at her, seeing that she was trying to avoid looking at him, and took off his shirt for her.

She began to clean the wounds on his chest, which luckily weren’t deep. Jack watched her as she worked, noticing a bit of strain in her face. He had seen that look many times before, usually on other pirates that had seen too much in their lifetime. He had seen it on his own father and uncle’s faces before both of them left him to his own devices.

“You’ve done this before,” he noted, although he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

(Y/N) looked up at him, her eyes wide like they had been when she was first saved. Jack regretted speaking and was about to take back his words when (Y/N) spoke.

“I was the medic on the ship you saved me from,” she said. “Whenever the crew members were hurt, I would help them.”

It was the first time she had told anyone anything about her past, especially about the ship she used to be a part of. She could feel a lump growing in her throat as she remembered the men that she had once considered a family that she would never see again.

“How long were you travelling with them?” Jack asked.

She was absentmindedly wiping his chest now, the blood already cleaned from his wounds. “Since I was a young girl. I was the daughter of their former captain. When he got too old, he resigned to life on land, but I wanted to keep travelling. I was never very strong, nor fast, so actually being a pirate was out of the question. I was eventually taught how to care for their wounds and for their sick so I could stay on board as a medic.”

As she took the bandages to wrap up Jack’s wounds, flashes of the many men she had patched up flashed before her eyes. The familiar faces and familiar smiles that she still dreamed of every night, that eventually turned to nightmares.

She looked away from Jack as tears started falling down her eyes. Jack reached up to wipe a tear with his thumb, cradling her face gently.

“They didn’t deserve to die,” she said, shaking her head. “They were good men. They weren’t violent pirates, they didn’t rob or kill anyone innocent. They took from bad people, they helped those in need. They were the most selfless men I had ever met.”

“What happened the day of the shipwreck?”

(Y/N)’s face twisted with grief as she remembered that fateful day. It was something that would always be in her memory, no matter how hard she tried to forget it.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “We thought it was just us for miles. I was below deck when the first cannonball hit the boat. I came up to try and help the best I could, but the next one hit so close to us that we became dazed. The next one...”

She trailed off, wincing at the memory of the loud explosion. When it had hit the boat, she was thrown into the water. Her men were around her, struggling to get free from the remaining intact parts of the ship. There was another explosion and everything went black. (Y/N) was so sure she was dead. Part of her wished the explosion had killed her, too.

“Probably one of the bad people that was ticked off,” Jack said, his voice soft and gentle. His wounds were dressed, but he made no effort to move to put his shirt back on. “I’m sorry you had to experience that.”

“I still have dreams about them,” (Y/N) told him. “About my crew, and about that day. I sometimes with I were one of the ones who went down with them. I wish I could’ve saved someone else besides me, or that I had joined them.”

Jack stood so that he was at eye level with her. (Y/N) couldn’t look up at him, but he gently tilted her head back so that she was.

“I’m glad we were able to save you,” he told her. “Even if this is the first time I’ve come to learn something about you, having you on this ship has made everything so much brighter. Our little visits and small conversations have made me so happy. I understand that feeling of guilt when you lose part of your crew and you couldn’t do anything to save them, although I can’t imagine the level of pain you are going through right now. But I’m glad you’re here.”

His words made her truly happy for the first time in weeks.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. Jack brushed (Y/N)’s hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. He left a tingly feeling on the parts of her face that he touched. (Y/N) had never felt that before, and it made her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart flip with excitement.

Before they could stop themselves, Jack leaned in for a kiss and (Y/N) met him half way. He placed one of his hands on the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair as he kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Her body pressed against his in a way that almost made him fall backwards into the chair again.

Jack finally pulled away first, gazing down into her eyes again. “Was that too much?”

(Y/N) giggled. “No. I really enjoyed it actually.”

“Me too,” Jack admitted. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“I would have thought a self proclaimed ladies man like you would’ve just taken the opportunity to kiss me long ago.”

Jack chuckled at this. “I may be a ladies man, but I am still respectful. You were grieving, I wasn’t going to take advantage of that.”

(Y/N) smiled at him. She pulled out of his embrace and passed him a shirt that was completely intact. “I appreciate all you have done for me, Jack. If you will have me, I would love to stay on the ship and be your medic.”

Jack smiled at her as he slipped the shirt on. “I was planning on asking you to stay regardless of what role you would play. Although, if you would like, I could also offer you a second role while you stay here.”

“And what role would that be?”

Jack kissed her lips again. “I wonder.”

(Y/N) was beaming as she looked up at him. “I would love to stay here with you Jack. I want nothing more than to travel the world with you, or to even be wherever you are.”

“Then it is decided,” he said. “You will stay with me forever.”

(Y/N) nodded. “Forever.”

[agermanadventurer]

A start

Let’s start somewhere shall we?

The German language is generally considered quite hard because of it’s grammar - which is understandable. If you are a monoligual English speaker you have never encountered the different complexities that are going to show up. But have no fear-! All of these things have been learned before and can be learned by you if you aspire to. I am not going to make this blog a step-by-step blog to learn German - I simply don’t have neither the time nor the patience to do that. But I will guide you to some free sources to get started to be able to follow along with other things I’ll be talking about in the future, and these are both things I’ve come across in my studying and also things I wish I had found earlier.

BOOKS (pdfs)

german language course - Simply named German Language Course is a pdf book that is written by several collaborating authors in an effort to create a beginner’s guide to the German language. It’s constantly being improved but the newer version here is lacking a bit and the original release from 2006 linked above is a bit more put together but choose from your own accord.

basic german - Basic German, a text/work book for grammar! Really- there’s a lot of grammar in there but it’s quite easy to navigate and can be useful for anyone learning the language or the grammar. 

mein-deutschbuch.de - Mein Deutschbuch is technically a website but nevermind that. It offers lists of different grammar rules and gives you excercises to practice your grammar. The only downside is that everything is in german. It’s great for more advanced learners though.

pdfdrive.com/german-language-books - And here’s a link to many other free books that can be downloaded.  

YOUTUBE CHANNELS (for language learning)

Get Germanized - A youtube channel dedicated to teaching it’s viewers German and also about the German culture. There are full course German videos only focusing on exposing and teaching as well as shorter videos with cultural comparisons and entertainment. 

Easy German - Easy German publish videos for both advanced learners and beginners. They focus much on teaching spoken German but also talks about grammar,  and they offer new vocabulary. 

Learn German - A channel that uses a simple artstyle to explain different parts of the German language. The channel also sorts their videos after language level so even for someone in level C1 might find something useful in there.   

Learn German with Herr Antrim - Herr Antrim wants to teach you German for free. His videos brings up grammar, pronounciation, and tak about the German culture.

Besides these channels you also have plenty of videos repeating german phrases and vocabulary for when you sleep (can’t really recommend to sleep while you listen to them) and you can sit down and take a few notes from those too if you want to become familiar with the sounds and some of the phrases.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS (for entertainment and exposure)

Hi From Hamburg - Lila is an american who moved to Hamburg and is making videos talking about her experience with it and she makes a lot of videos for simple entertainment. Her channel is one of the few English ones I’m going to include in this list. 

Dinge Erklärt - Kurzgesagt -  Kurzgesagt is a channel with pretty animation explaining different concepts, ideas, and myths in our modern society today. They talk about philosophy, science, religious ideas, psychology, and more.

maiLab - MaiLab is a scientific channel in German. In their videos they talk about various topics within biology, chemistry, psychology, or of different concepts and myths in society today.

Related to maiLab are also channels like Quarks and MrWissen2go.

100SekundenPhysik - For those who are into physics, this one can be intresting for you. 100SekundenPhysik brings up and explains physics, but in German and in short comprehensible videos. 

Dagi Bee - For those not as interested in science, here’s an entertainment channel (and a few more after this). Dagi Bee is a channel created for entertainment, she features music videos, make up and hair turtorials, reaction videos, vlogs and more.

Marvyn Macnificent - Marvyn makes entertainment and vlog videos; challenges, make up tutorials and reviews, collaborations (and videos with friends), and also different types of discussions of other social media figures.

Alycia Marie - This channel is for any make up and cosplay fan. Alycia’s channel is made up of make up tutorials, make up reviews and comparisons, as well as cosplay displays. She also have a second channel for her music.

Other channels like Dagi Bee and Alycia Marie is for example Luisa Crashion and Jasmin Azizam

DoctorBenx - A look into the gaming part of youtube and we have DoctorBenx as a prominent figure on the list. His videos consist of him playin games such as Minecraft and Roblox but also GTA5 and simulator/indie games. He works closely with the youtuber AwesomeElina.

Vlesk - If anyone’s still into Among Us you’ll want to check out Vlesk who almost exclusively makes videos of said game at the moment. His channel is rather young still but the older videos are him playing TTT in Garry’s Mod. 

Zombey - For those more intrested in playthroughs, Zombey is more appropriate. His channel features many different games such as Demon’s Soul and Fall Guys. 

APPS

Duolingo - Duolingo is always mentioned when it comes to these things, but it’s a good app. It provides a simple, almost game-like, format that helps you practice different concepts in your target language.

Memrise - Can’t forget Memrise on this list. Memrise uses video clips of real life people using the language to get you to associate the phrases with the situation and to get you to immerse yourself with the language. 

Drops - Drops focuses on visual learning, getting your brain to associate the vocabulary you’re exposed to with the pictures and symbols on the screen. The app is great for learning new vocabulary and you can choose yourself which topic to start with.

Wordbit German - WordBit German is useful for vocabulary exposure. You download it and every time you open your phone a German word is shown on the screen and you can mark different word by familiarity.

HelloTalk - This app helps you to reach out to native speakers of your target language and you can also help others seeking to learn your language. You can send voice messages, make corrections and translate the messages directly. The app can be used for free, but there are many functions that are limited without paying. Other similar apps are also available (often with lower quality but they are free). 

PODCASTS (language learning)

Slow German - The journalist Annik Rubens talks about everyday topics and phenomenons in the german culture and society in short recordings. Perfect to practice your listening comprehension as a beginner and get used to the new parts of the phonology - and it’s available on Spotify. 

Easy German - They also have a podcast! They also talk about the german culture but also topics relevant to the rest of the world, though in a bit more natural speed and with a bit more relaxed manner. (Available on Spotify)

Radio D - Unfortunately not available on Spotify but it is easily found with just a google search (and by the attached link). The podcast is made for complete beginners, guiding you throughout different scenarios and settings and building up your understanding and basic knowledge of the language. Transscripts are also available for download.

Coffee Break German - A series of lessons where the listener, together with the English speaking host Mark, gets to learn German phrases and vocabulary from scratch with the help of Thomas. Each episode is between 20 to 30 minutes so get your pen and paper out to take effective notes. (Available on Spotify)

 You will come across many other podcasts, these are just a good place to start.

PODCASTS (for entertainment)

Eine Stunde History - With new episodes every Friday this podcast takes events throughout history and compare their relevance to today and the future. Perfect for those who have an interest in history. (Available on Spotify)

ZEIT WISSEN - Woher weißt Du dass? - The central theme being science, this podcast gives you a scientific perspective on a new question that is being explored every week. You want to know if humans can hybernate or what the consequenses of having sex with the neanderthals were? Not necessarily! But now you can! (Available on Spotify)

Verbrechen - This podcast features true crime, being led by Andreas Sentker and Sabine Rückert. Sabine is the one talking about the cases she’s been met with throughout her career in law enforcement. (Available on Spotify)

Biologie Passion Podcast - If you have a biology test coming up, if you want to repeat some long lost knowledge from school, or maybe you just have a passion for biology - then this is a good podcast for you. Christian Schweda is happy to teach (or reteach) you some biology. (Available on Spotify)

Eli’s Abitur Crashkurs - For those of you who are study freaks in general, you can visit Eli on Spotify! She has made a podcast on everything she has to study for during her Abitur. And the best thing is - they only come in 10-20 min episodes. But be aware for speedy speech. (Available on Spotify)

Die Copycats - Both on Youtube and on Spotify these guys talk about all sorts of nerdy things from video games to bad music and give their opinions on many other things. They’re quite small so go and give them a bit of love. (Available on Spotify)

#QueerAsBerlin - Not available on Spotify unfortunately. But as the title suggests is this podcast a commentary, interviews and a view on different aspects of social problems through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community in Berlin.  

Bin ich Süßsauer? - For my fellow asian LGBTQ+ people out there; this underrated podcast features an asian host in Germany, talking about different parts of LGBTQ (from what I understand the host themselves are trans and therefore the general theme) with different guests. Of course this can be enjoyed by anyone, just a small shout out for diversity. (Available on Spotify)

Schnapsidee - der Podcast über Liebe, Love & sexy sein - From the name alone you are most likely able to deduse the theme of this podcast. Anna and Paula talks about their love life, relationships, and sex! Their content is lighthearted and enjoyable to listen to. (Available on Spotify)

Dick und Doof - Without any real theme to their podcast, the two friends Sandra and Luca is having a great time, and we get to listen to their conversations about anything and everything. The both of them focus mostly on humour, sprinkled with an insight in their private lives. (Available on Spotify)

Alliteration am Arsch - Or AAA in foreshortening, features Bastian Bielendorfer and Reinhard Remfort who found themselves as friends after realizing the things they had in common and now we get to listen as the both of them discuss anything and everything through the lens of comedy. (Available on Spotify)