#we’ve been chatting on hinge and he might be a wet blanket who is to say but also he might be hot

[ephemeral-winter]

what if I started dating a clergy member from a synagogue that is not my synagogue but is really nearby and where a camp friend’s dad is senior rabbi. would that be awful and hysterical or not

[not-exactly-teamiplier]

Home (Ethan x Reader)

10 months.

You've shared this apartment with Ethan for 10 months- that's almost a year that you guys have spent cooking meals, playing games, cuddling on the couch together, all in this one place that you both can call home. And now, you were alone.

You had cried over and over about that Wednesday when you went in that coffee shop and saw him, laughing and smiling that special, sweet smile of his- at another woman. No one else was coming or leaving at that moment, so you were able to just awkwardly stand in the doorway, watching as they chatted each other up. You immediately thought to yourself that maybe you were seeing it wrong, maybe they're old friends catching up, or some stranger approached him and he's talking to them just to be nice. Until she leaned over the table and kissed him. And you watched as he didn't pull away, instead opting to pull her closer. In the couple of seconds where neither of them moved, you had dashed outside of the shop, ready to run home. But you tripped because your shoe fell off, and gashed your forearm. Right as you were getting up, he was outside the shop calling your name. He must have noticed you fall from the window. Luckily you were faster than him, and so you made it up the 2 flights of stairs to your home, got the keys in the lock and slammed the door behind you, not thinking of the neighbors for once. You took a few deep breaths from your run and tried to calm yourself down because you felt like crying, but you were suddenly angry. Without thinking, you stomped to your shared room and grabbed a duffel bag, yanking dresser drawers out and shoving clothes inside. You heard the door unlock and you rushed to zip up the bag. "(Name), wait! Please!" He appeared in the doorway and saw what was in your hands. "No...no no no, what are you doing?!" You ignored him, too angry to even shove him as you passed through the doorway. He left the front door open and his keys were in the lock, probably because he rushed to get to you. Perfect. You walk straight outside and stop at the railing, turning around. He was only a foot away from you. "Please, don't go, just let me explain!" You clenched your empty hand tight, your other hand aching to hit him with the bag. "Explain what?! How you kissed another woman while knowing you had a girlfriend, even pulled her closer to you as if she were- as if- as if she were me!" He looked so ashamed, you almost wanted to laugh. "Look, I know what I did was wrong," he cried, "but I was just shocked when she kissed me, and she looked and reminded me so much of you and-" "WHAT?!" You exploded while slamming down the bag, causing him to jump a bit. "So I'm not special, is that it?!" In half a second, you were in his face. "So you kissed her back because she was like me, but better?!" "NO! That's not what I meant!" He grabbed the bag from the ground and stepped away from you, hoping you weren't going to snatch it and walk out of his life. "Please, we've been together for over 3 years, you can't just pack your bags and leave!" You crossed your arms, feeling how hot they were due to your anger. "That bag's for you!" His face dropped. "Wh- What?" He opened up the bag and pawed through its contents- all the clothes in there were his. "No, no, you can't be serious, I-" He looked up and saw you standing inside at the front door. He shook at the deep frown on your face, the eyebrows furrowed in rage, eyes dark and heavy. You pulled his keys from the lock, and forcefully shut the door. Immediately, he ran up to it, pounding on the wood. "(Name)! (Name), open up, please, I'm sorry! It was a mistake! I'm sorry!" He was surprised when the door did open- he almost smiled in relief, but didn't have the time to. It was only open so you could shove a couple more things into his arms before slamming it right in his face. His green eyes were wide open, unlike his heart, which felt as though it was closing in on itself, folding in half over and over until it seemingly disappeared. Slowly, almost like something was controlling him, Ethan backed away from the door. He felt low, extremely low and dejected. Pulling the bag over one shoulder, draping the blanket over his other, and clutching the ukulele to his chest, he dragged himself down the apartment steps, pulling out his phone to call Tyler and ask if he could pick him up. And that was 3 weeks ago- 3 weeks that have gone by without him calling, texting, or attempting to contact you at all. You wanted to be mad at him for that, but apparently you used up all your anger the day you threw him out, so now all you could do was cry for the first week. The second week was when the anger came back and you ended up with one of the lamps broken, a chair with a leg missing, and a kitchen cabinet that was now hanging from its bottom hinge. By the end of the third week, you were just...empty. Your co-workers didn't want you handling customers/clients, and so most of work was spent organizing/cleaning stuff. It was like you were a ghost, wandering about with no purpose, no plan, nothing. You couldn't feel your heart- you didn't know if anything was there anymore. The apartment was slightly a mess- your work clothes were thrown onto one end of the couch, along with your work shoes. You were too empty to change into new pajamas, so you've been wearing the same ones for weeks. Good thing you didn't go anywhere or leave the place, because then they would start to smell. Not that you cared if they did, anyway. You were shuffling about in the kitchen, blanket draped over your shoulders as you made yourself some water, ready to bundle up again. You didn't have work tomorrow, so you had planned to fall asleep on the couch, watching TV and eating junk food. You sat down, putting the cup on the table, and reached for the remote, ready to unpause your show and see how Shawn Spencer and Gus were gonna get out of this tricky situation. The doorbell rang. Awesome, the pizza's here, you thought with fake enthusiasm. You were hungry, though, so you fixed your hair a little and dropped the blanket, grabbing your cash and stepping to the door. You opened up to find a sad blue boy waiting for you. His green eyes were rimmed with red, as if he had cried before coming here (he did, he was almost too scared to face you for fear of receiving all of his belongings at the door). His blue hair looked less bright, much like his face was. "Oh." You spoke. He carefully met your eyes. "Hey." You suddenly craved to have that blanket wrapped around you again, but if you went to get it, he might take it as an invitation to come inside. "You're...not the pizza guy." A frown showed up, though he tried to hide it. "Oh, you were expecting...well, if I could have a pizza your time, I have something I need to do." "You're gonna make it easier for me and pack up the rest of your things?" Ethan panicked a little at your biting words. "N-No, please, I-" "Then leave." You tried shutting the door, but his foot wedged itself in the doorway. He wouldn't budge even as you tried shoving his foot back with your own. "Nestor, I swear..." No response. You closed your eyes in frustration, wishing you had something to help send away the growing headache you were forming, when music filled your ears. You glanced up to see him strumming on his ukulele. He bit his lip, contemplating whether to look at you the whole time or look away, but in the end he just closed his eyes and let the words softly pour out. "This is the first day of my life- Swear I was born right in the doorway. I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed; They're spreading blankets on the beach..." You were instantly sent back to over 3 years ago, when you guys first met: the Fourth of July Party, on the beach. You and your group had saved up for a year to drive around California, visiting several different cities/places before going to the giant beach party. It was raining earlier before on the drive, and your friends were worried the city would cancel if the fireworks got wet. But the rain ceased hours before the event, and once you hopped in the passenger seat ready to party, you were happy to see your friends so excited to get together and have fun. Teamiplier showed up a bit after it sort-of-officially started, with their blankets and umbrellas. They got out of the car- Tyler stretching after driving the whole time, Amy and Kathryn taking a quick picture together, Mark tugging at his shirt from the heat, and Ethan soaking up the sun. He saw that everyone was picking their places for the fireworks show later, and so he grabbed the blankets from the trunk, ready to spend time with his closest friends. "Yours is the first face that I saw- I swear I was blind before I met you. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been, But I know where I want to go." As they scouted the beach for the perfect spot to set up camp, he was distracted by some laughter. It was coming from a group of girls- specifically one who, for some reason, stood out from the bunch. He watched as you laughed and playfully punched one of your friends on the arm, and he felt his face get red, not because of your bathing suit, not because of how it made your legs look (great), but because of your wide, close-eyed smile. It was like he suddenly forgot where he was. He felt lost, and all he knew was that he wanted to go and talk to you. "And so I thought I'd let you know, That these things take forever- I especially am slow..." It had been so long since you heard his voice, singing and in general- you made sure not to browse social media while the weeks went on, because he would probably appear, causing you to either bust your phone or bust into tears. You knew that this was kind of hard for him to do, because he was nervous whenever he sang in front of people, and you didn't want to give him credit for that, because you weren't going to show him that you worried. You didn't want to forgive him, but...he...you... He opened his eyes and, noticing you were frozen by his words and his actions, turned slightly red, staring into your eyes.

"...but I realize that I need you and I wondered if I could come home." Tears were threatening to fall from both of you, and you knew you had already lost after he sang that line but he continued. "Remember the time you drove all night Just to meet me in the morning? I thought it was strange, you said everything changed- You felt as if you just woke up..." You did remember- it was 2 years into the relationship you guys managed to maintain online that he begged you to drive up to see him. He was ecstatic, chatting away at how he had several days worth of things planned once you got there, after you two take a short nap, of course. It was hell being on the road for the amount of hours you were, but he felt as though nothing could take away the giant smile he had when you knocked on his door at 5 in the morning. "Oh my gosh, I just can't actually believe you're here! I-It's been forever since we've seen each other in person," Ethan stammered. He was nervous, that was apparent, and you felt the same, well you would have, if not for the long drive. "I was pretty excited too, and then my mood changed because it's 5 in the morning, half my ass is numb, and I feel like I just woke up instead of waking up hours ago," you deadpanned. His crooked smile disappeared for a moment, until you continued. "But Skype doesn't really do you justice, because that smile is the best thing I've seen in my life, starling." His face went red, and he put a hand to his neck while chuckling bashfully, mumbling about how you're one to talk, and how he should be the one using cute nicknames, and how if you're absolutely sure you want to be with this dork of a guy, he has waffles inside waiting for you. "And you said, 'This is the first day of my life, I'm glad I didn't die before I met you. But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you And I'd probably be happy.'" "What if I wasn't born yet?" 7 months later, and you both were on a blanket, the same one he used for the beach party. It was a little past midnight, and you guys were laying in opposite directions, staring at the stars. Your question startled him. "What do you mean?" You turned your head towards him, staring at his upside-down face, then decided to shift your entire body so you could hold him close. "Like, what if I didn't exist? What if I had been born later, instead of now? What if I died before I met you?" His thumb ran across your face, hushing your thoughts. "Hey, don't think like that. Let's just be happy that we're able to be together, OK?" You kissed his thumb, which made him blush. "Don't worry, I'm happy. Believe it or not, I'm so happy it hurts. I'm happy that you are a part of my life, I'm happy that I am able to spend whatever time I can with you..." You shifted your eyes to his own, loving the way the stars were flecked through them. "And even though I seem tired from driving to see you,  I'm happy every single time I knock on that door and see your face." He pulled you on top of his body, closing his eyes as he felt you against him, locked in a warm embrace. He could feel his heart racing in his chest as he pondered if he was ready. Then... "...I can change that." He sat up, causing you to sit up, too- you were now in his lap, arms around his shoulders. You had a small smile on your face. "Is that a rock in your pocket, or are you happy to see me, too?" He blushed. "Actually..." He proceeded to reach in his front pocket without moving you off him, pulling out a very thin and small box. "I actually wanted to do this the last time you visited, but I got cold feet." Curiously, you slide the top of the box off. Inside was a silver key. "(Full Name), will you move in with me?" He wore a bashful grin, hoping yet again that he wasn't being too forward. A full second passed before you threw your arms around him, smiling hard into his shoulder. "Yes! Yes, Ethan Nestor, I will move in with you!" His arms wrapped themselves around your waist, his head leaning on yours. "I love you." Your response was muffled, but he could tell you were saying I love you too. "Now you won't have to keep coming back to see me," he laughed. Now, his heart ached terribly at the thought of how you must have felt when he didn't come back 3 weeks ago, how alone you must have been... Alone, and unhappy... "So if you want to be with me, With these things there's no telling- we'll just have to wait and see... But I'd rather be working for a paycheck Than waiting to win the lottery." He wanted to love you, you and only you. There was no one else he wanted to wake up next to. He wanted to work hard for what he has, rather than wait for something good to come along. He knew he had messed up, and he wanted to reassure you that he was going to make it up to you- he was gonna work his ass off to win your trust back, whether you wanted him to or not. "Besides, maybe this time is different... I mean, I really think you like me." As the outro faded, his strumming slowed- one final cord, and his hand was still. You couldn't stop crying now, your hands curled into fists at your mouth at all the memories you two shared. Ethan shed a few tears before hurriedly wiping them away with his forearm. "I...I fucked up, I know.  Maybe I did what I did because I can't stop thinking about you, ever. If everyone on this Earth was like you, the world would be such a better place. But the world doesn't work like that, and despite what I just said, I'm actually glad that it doesn't. Because then, no one would be special, like you are to me. I am so...so...I want to say happy, but that word isn't good enough for you, but I'm so glad that you are you, that you are special, and that you chose me, of all people, to see just how special you are. You've brought me happiness I've only dreamed of, and I can't believe I get to call you mine, and-" "Shut up, just...just shut up," you whispered, pulling him in the doorway and smashing your lips onto his. His ukulele was forgotten as he dropped it to hold you closer. God, he missed you, he wanted to sleep next to you, and wake up by you, and cuddle with you, and feel every inch of your body against his. He backed you into the door while pushing his mouth harder against yours and slung one of your legs around his waist, humming in content. Right where it belonged. "Uh...pizza delivery for (Name)?" You broke apart quickly, him staring at the pizza guy in shock. "So, you actually ordered pizza..." The pizza guy was glancing quickly between you, Ethan, and the floor. "Yeah, if this was a set-up for a porno or something, I'm not really interested..." You both immediately turned red, Ethan backing up slightly while you were trying to stammer out a response. "N-No, nothing l-like that, I promise! We- We had actually gotten into a-a fight a couple of weeks ago, and...uh..." Pizza Guy nodded furiously. "Yeah, I-I get it..." You handed him the money, told him to keep the change, and picked up your boyfriend's items before shutting the door.