#we’re seeing each other again for new years so we’ll probably start then and i’m so excited

[xetlynn]

Until Dawn- By Your Side: Chapter One, Blackwood Pines

(Josh Washington X reader)

[Prologue] [One] [Two]

Ever since that day I’ve rarely looked Jessica in the eyes. I’ll talk to her like normal, she’ll come into my room to bother me but I never initiate anything anymore. I was pretty disgusted by her actions. Same with everyone else’s. I’ve gotten extremely close with Sam because of everything too. Her, Chris and I check in with Josh a lot.

Mainly me, they just text me asking for updates since they don’t see him as often as I do. My parents have even been getting annoyed with my “behavior.” How I’m never home, barely doing my homework and treating Jessica poorly. I’m not meaning to. I really want to look at my sister and not see a bad friend, but looking back on my pictures with Beth and Hannah it’s difficult. Knowing Hannah was devastated from what they did to her, it being a stupid prank or not.

And when Josh told me his plan to have everyone come up for this winter I was skeptical on if it would be a good idea. “Are you sure, we haven’t gone up unless it was for a search party, my love.” I run my fingers through his hair, he smiles softly up at me. He was laying his head on my chest, his arms wrapped around my torso.

“My sisters would want to have fun up there. Like we always have.” He kisses my collarbone. “Are you sure there’s no other reason?” I question him, his nose twitches and I knew I already caught him in his lies. “What other reason would there be?” He decides to ask a question in return. I stare down at him with a straight face, he lifts himself off of me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His brows furrow and I crack a smile, grabbing his arm. “I know you better than that, my love.” I pull him down to kiss him on his lips. “What are you scheming?” Kissing him again. “I can’t believe you caught me that quick.” He entraps me in between his arms, his body laying flat on mine. I hear him take a deep breath, I knew he was wondering if he should tell me or not. Knowing him since we were children I’ve gotten to observe every little thing about him. Something he’s done with me too.

“I just maybe want to get it out of them, that they’re guilty for it.” He finally whispers out, I stay silent for a moment. I can hear his heart beat start to quicken and before he panics I speak up. “How can I help?”

I sat on the bus with Sam, she gave me one of her earbuds as we listened to what’s on her device. It’s the radio talking about the Washington twins. I notice her stare out the window. My body stiffens slightly, it’s never easy hearing updates about the twins and it be nothing new. Nothing good. Then she clicks a button switching to a video of my boyfriend. Of Josh. I smile at the sight of his face.

“Well hello friends and fans… alright let’s do that again.” He goes back up to the camera, not really zooming it in, beginning to talk once again with the same intro. “Alright. Well hello friends and fans! It’s beyond awesome to have you guys all back this year. First off, I gotta say I am super excited to welcome all my pals back to the annual Blackwood winter getaway!” He does a little cheer. “So, um… let me just let you know, let’s take a moment to address the elephant in the room for a second…” His mood switches. “I know you’re all probably worried about me and I know it’s gonna be tough on all of us going back after what happened last year, but I just want you all to know, it means… it means so much to me that we’re doing this. And I know it would mean so much to Hannah and Beth that we’re all still here together, y’know thinking of them. I really want to spend some quality time with each and every one of you and share moments we’ll never forget. For the sake of my sisters, you know?” He gives his speech, I lean into Sam further and further as I listen to him. I feel her laugh at me a little bit but I can’t help it. “Okay… so! Let’s party like we’re fucking porn stars, okay?! And make this one trip we’ll never forget, alright? Yes!” He pumps his fists up in the air. I scrunch my nose because of his wording but Sam and I both snicker at it quietly.

When the bus finally stops at Blackwood Pines, Sam and I get out together and begin to walk forward while looking around. We were told to meet here by Chris like we have many times before. “Weird, looks like we’re before him.” I smile, twirling around. She opens the gate for both of us. “Surprising. I feel like we’re the last usually.” She huffs, I hum in agreement. We then hear a noise behind us. “Hello?” Sam calls out. “Someone there?” I ask out, furrowing my eyebrows. Squinting, checking if I could possibly see anything.

After not getting anything in response we continue on. I keep checking behind us though. Thinking maybe someone was there, playing a prank on us.

Once we get to the gate there’s a note taped onto it. “Gate’s busted, climb over. -Chris.” I read out. “So he is here and didn’t meet up like we agreed.” I cross my arms, irritated. “I wonder why.” Sam whispers. We try to open the gate still but nothing budges. I sigh and head over to the rocky wall of the fence. Sam right behind me.

“I’ll boost you.” I tell her, jokingly. The wall had too many things sticking out for a boost to actually work. I squat down a tiny bit as she begins to climb. Staying there for her as support. She does a jump and I make a face but successfully she gets on top of the wall. “Alright, your turn.” She says, taking a second to breathe.

I groan but do the same thing she did. Lifting myself up, very slowly as I don’t think I have the same amount of upper body strength as her. We jump down together. I trip a little bit and she helps me so I don’t fall. Both of us chuckling. Making our way to the area we need to get to.

We pass by the sign about Indigenous people and butterfly prophesies. “Oh, cool!” Sam grins. She skims over it but we continue forward. Finally getting to where we used to meet Josh and the twins… along with Chris.

Speaking of, “Is that Chris’s bag?” I point over to the bench. Sam moves a little closer to me. “Chris?” She calls out, we go closer to the bag. “Your bags here, but where are you?” I roll my eyes.

“Are you here? You’re not in the bag are you?!” Sam asks. I hear buzzing. “His phone.” I mutter, taking it out of the pocket. “Ah ha!” Sam grins, “look who it is.” I smirk. Ashley’s name popping up on the screen.

“Hey noseys.” A voice calls from behind us and we both jump. “Chris.” Sam sighs out. “You scared us.” We both say clinging onto each other. “I’m sorry, but are either of you my secretary?” He points a finger in our faces.

Sam takes the phone from my hand and lifts it up. “It was buzzing.” She defends our choice we made to snoop through his belonging.

“Cool. Well, thanks for letting me know. I can take it from here.” He takes it from her. He checks the message and we stand there awkwardly.

“Oh! So, I found something kinda amazing.” He goes over to his bag. “What?” Sam asks and I just lean against her, tiredly. Still intrigued nonetheless.

“I’m not gonna tell you guys, you gotta see for yourselves. Come on, it’s this way.” He leads the way, I get off of Sam and we begin to walk once again. “Where?”

“Right around here. Gonna blow your minds.” He dramatically says. “Mhm, sure.” I take a breath. “Just see before you give me attitude, [Name].” He tells me.

We get around the building and we see a Wanted poster but it doesn’t show the face of the person, It was ripped off. Only the name showed. “Victor Milgram.” I read out.

“Nice. You think we’ll get a visit from America’s most wanted?” Chris asks and I nudge him for being insensitive. “Looks like someone thought so.” Sam speaks. “oh come on. This place is abandoned most of the year.” He then starts his trail once more. “Nobody comes up here.” I think about how I came here quite a few times with Josh and his parents in the search parties for the twins. Knowing that his statement unfortunately is not true.

Him saying “Ta Dah.” Gets me out of those thoughts for a moment. “Pretty rad right?”

“Yeeeeaaaah.” Sam sarcastically says. I didn’t say anything, I just gave our friend a bored expression. “Come on! Look at these beauties.”

“Beauties is not the word that comes to mind. Why is this even here?” She questions it. “Yeah, I’m not into it.” I agree with her.

“What do you mean?” He looks back to the shooting range. “What the hell is a shooting range doing at the base of a ski lodge?”

“Dude. Have you ever met Josh’s dad? [Name], you out of everyone should know why this is here.” He points to me and I frown, knowing I have to agree with this idiot who thought a gun range would blow our minds.

“Josh’s dad thinks he’s like Grizzly Adam’s or something, for sure.” I whisper to Sam. “Wanna try?” Chris offers the shot gun to both of us. I shake my head. “You go ‘head, Grizzly.” Sam jokes with him after what I just whispered to her. Both of us laughing quietly. “Alright, here goes.” He lifts up the gun, getting it ready. He shoots the first target. He then doesn’t miss a single one and I give him a small applause.

“Wow. Nice shootin’, Tex.” Sam gives him a smile. I do a small cheer for him. “Alright. I’m bad.” Chris starts dancing causing us two to give him dirty expressions. “I’m a badass!”

“I’m gonna go ahead and guess it was a wild case of beginner’s luck.” Sam teases him after his stupid dance. “Nah, I don’t think so girl.” He wags his finger before lifting the gun back up. Shooting another target and getting it. “Well, anybody and their brother could shoot a bottle that big, that close.” She chuckles.

A squirrel shows up and my eyes widen slightly hoping Chris doesn’t go for it. “Don’t do it, Chris.” I mumble but I know he heard me when I saw his gun move to a different area. “Nice shot.”

“Your ass just got saaaacked!”

“Ugh.” I grimace, walking away from them to go back to the front of the building. “You two, our rides coming.” I say, not paying attention to what they’re doing as I head forward. I hear Sam urge Chris to come on. Him whining slightly afterward. I get to the door, trying to open it but it’s locked. I hear Chris say “a year goes fast.” And immediately choose not to ask what they were talking about.

“Hey, the doors locked.” I push on it again, to show them. “Yeaaah, Josh wanted us to keep it locked. Keep people out.” Chris informs me and then I drop my shoulders remembering that conversation we had. “He said that? What people?” Sam furrows her brows.

“He said they found people sleeping in the station one time.” I tell her, vividly seeing the conversation I had with him in my head before packing for this trip. “Creepy.”

Chris shows his key and I get out of the way for him to unlock it. He gets it open and lets us in before him.

“Ah, real gentleman.” Sam goes in, me right behind her. Sam goes to the railing and looks around as I follow Chris. “I thought the car was closer.” She complains. “Guess we gotta wait.” My boyfriend’s best friend responds.

“What a crazy place to set up house. No matter how rich you are.” He stares at a Blackwood Pines poster. “They’re not so rich.” Sam disagrees. “The only bought a mountain.” She sarcastically adds in. I watch Chris walk around the room. Both of our eyes landing on a screen. It looks like cameras surrounding the Washington Cabin. I see a thing of a bedroom and then it clip back to the front of the house. I frown, confused on what we’re looking at.

The cable car sounding closer, we both join Sam back outside. “You coming?” Sam asks Chris as I get in before her. We sit beside one another. “I was gonna catch some z’s but I guess.” He makes a horrible joke. Chris sits on the other side of me.

“Here we go.” I announce as the car moves. “Right, adventure begins.” Chris smiles.

Long awaited chapter :0

Masterlist

Josh M.L.

Taglist: If you want to be added lmk!

@my1fx

[purplepickles]

“Under The Covers”

Pairings: Central cee x black fem reader

Genre: fluff

Authors Note: it’s my first time writing on tumblr so bare with me I also haven’t haven’t written anything in like years I used to a Wattpad author in like 2017-2019😭 so imagine what I used to be writing. It’s not my best peice of work but it’s progress kinda messy icl in terms of storyline but it’s something anyways I hope everyone enjoys it 💗

You had just signed a contract with vogue for a new segment they were trying out for they’re YouTube channel called “Under the Covers”. It was in a podcast style in a bedroom setting hence the name and basically talking about the latest fashion trends tips or anything black girl related.

You were so grateful for this opportunity never in your life would you have imagine a little black girl from London was able to sign a massive deal with vogue. The topic of todays video was maintenance. How you maintain standards for yourself if that means relationship, mental or physical health. So instead of it being in their studio you wanted your video being a bit more homely so why not in your home. The producers had set everything up in your room making sure everything was ready for filming but this video was going to have a little extra twist. You were going to have your very first guest and they how they managed to maintain their life and overall humbleness with the fame he had gained over the years.

You kept your relationship on the down low on the respect of each other careers and not wanting to surround your relationship over it. You were actually calm with that but he wasn’t liking seeing people he fucked with in your dms with heart eyes.

Little did Yn know he was going to announce it in their video together.

“Okay I’m going to count down from 5 and we’ll start filming” said the producer

5

4

3

2

1

“Hi Vogue it’s me Yn/ln and welcome to our new segment called Under the covers where uncover beauty secrets fashion and every black girl related. But today’s video things are little different we’re in my actual bedroom and I have a special guest with us he’s one of my favourites rappers right now a current world wide sensation Central Cee”

“I didn’t know I was your favourite artist”

“Yes you did you’re also my most listened to artist on Spotify we’ve defo talked about this”

“Mhmmm”

You rolled your eyes and continued with the video

“Anyways let’s get straight into todays topic: maintenance. How to do maintain eye yourself to keep your life somewhat stable”

“I guess keeping my mum,my brothers, my fans and my girl happy innit. If they’re happy I’m happy” said central cee never straying away from eye contact from the love of his life

“And what you say is the hardest one to keep happy and why” Yn was very curious about this who knew where this could go

“My girl defo she’s says I’m annoying I think she hates me”

The way your head slowly snapped

“Did you not say at Amelia Dinner Date you like girls you hate you”

“Yh I did I turns me on but she’s just something Yk I’m just infatuated by her but maybe I’m a bit delusional when it comes to her yk idk if that’s a good thing or bad thing. Kinda new to this love thing and not messing up yk I don’t wanna get it wrong again I really like her”

That was probably the most beautiful thing he’s said in a while she didn’t know he felt like this she sometimes she can be a bit rude and her sarcasm can be taken the wrong way but she thought he knew between the lines that she didn’t hate him she lived more than anything.

“I think you should talk to her about your feeling more Yk. Don’t be shy on opening up more Yk. When you feel ready ask her what she thinks it’s possibly lacking” she smiled at him with reassurance hoping that he could through her eyes that’s it okay and she was listening

“Yh your right imma tell her right now!”

Yn chocked on her drink. He could not be serious. She should’ve known this boy was up to something

“As in right now!? I’m sure she’s busy” you said trying to get to him to change his mind

“Nah she’s not im calling her rn”

For someone who didn’t like interviews this but sure had a lot to say

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Your phone was on the other side of the room Ringing none stop.

Everyone was looking at you. You knew the producers were loving this but you were not this was too much.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

“Yn are you gonna pick up you phone”

you usually loved his smile but this was just devious.

“Do I have to” you were just dreading this

Everyone shouted yes. You rolled out bed and a grabbed the phone

“Hi baby”

“Hi cench, now can we get back to the video please”

“Yes Cench we can. You wanna cuddle too?”

//

The video was going well there was laughter within the whole room. You asked him the question that you were assigned to ask him everything was going great. You loved being under your lovers arms. Maybe letting people in wasn’t so bad.

“Thank you vogue for this absolutely-

A knock on the door you both looked at door and someone opened to little boy running in crying and jumping to Oakley’s arm. How many surprises could one video take you said to yourself in your head.

“What’s up little man” Oakley now went into full father mode his whole rapper persona was switched and all he cared about was understanding why his little boy was upset

“Had a bad dream” said the little one

“How about we say goodbye to vogue and make some hot chocolate” you said while trying to tickle him

“Right I think me and vogue has had enough surprises don’t forget to like subscribe and hit that notification and stay tuned for next weeks video about Motherhood and Careers with a icon mother and billionaire. Bye guys”

[rispwr]

Still with you - JK - MDNI - PART TWO

pairings : ex!jk x ex!reader

genre : fluff, angst

context : after breaking up with your boyfriend for 14 years for cheating on you, choosing to still stay with him in his apartment wasn't quite the best idea. especially after seperating.

warnings/contents : smut, mentions of pregnancy, cheating, rape, unprotected sex, alcoholism, degrading, and this jungkook should be a warning.

songs : house of balloons, swim, into it, goodluck, babe, so high, bloodline

this fic only has maybe 2 or 3 chapters

I wake up to the sound of my alarm, the shrill beeping cutting through the silence of the room.

 I’m on the couch again, my back aching from another restless night. The familiar weight of tension settles over me as I remember where I am, Jungkook’s apartment. I groan, rubbing my eyes, wishing I could wake up somewhere else, anywhere else.

Today’s a workday, and for that, I’m grateful.

 Work is my escape, the one place where I can forget about everything that’s gone wrong in my life. I sit up, running a hand through my hair, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. My mind is already racing with the tasks I need to tackle at the studio, the new song I’ve been working on, the production tweaks that need to be made.

I stand, stretching, and glance at the closed bedroom door. He’s still in there, probably asleep. Good. The less I have to see him this morning, the better. I grab my clothes and head to the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible.

As I get ready, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, trying to push away the anxiety that’s been gnawing at me since I woke up. I need to focus on work today, not on the fact that I’m still here, stuck in this apartment with him. The makeup I apply is like a shield, something to hide behind. I can’t afford to look vulnerable, not today.

When I step out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready to go, I hear movement from the kitchen. My heart sinks. Of course, he’s awake now. I should have left earlier. I quickly grab my bag, hoping to slip out without any interaction.

But as I near the door, Jungkook’s voice stops me. “You’re leaving already?”

I freeze, my hand on the doorknob. “Yeah. I have to get to the studio,” I say, not turning around.

“You’re always in such a rush,” he says, his tone casual, but there’s an edge to it that I can’t ignore.

I sigh, closing my eyes for a brief moment. “I have a lot to do.”

“Right. Because work is all you care about now.” His voice is cold, and it hits me like a punch to the gut.

I turn around, glaring at him. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, leaning against the counter, his eyes dark. “Just that you’ve been burying yourself in work ever since...”

I know what he’s about to say, and I can’t bear to hear it. “Don’t,” I snap, cutting him off. “Just don’t.”

His eyes flash with anger, and for a moment, we’re locked in a silent battle of wills. But I don’t have the energy for this fight. Not today. I turn and walk out the door, slamming it behind me.

at work

“Hold the elevator!”

I quickly hit the button to keep the doors open, and a moment later, Yoongi slips inside, slightly out of breath. He grins at me, and for the first time today, I feel my mood lift a little.

“Thanks,” he says, leaning against the wall of the elevator. “Didn’t think I’d make it.”

“No problem,” I reply, smiling back at him. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

He nods, still catching his breath. “Yeah, just started producing for some of the artists here. It’s been a wild ride so far.”

“That’s great,” I say, genuinely happy for him. I’ve been running into Yoongi at the coffee shop for a while now, and there’s something about him that makes everything feel a little less heavy. “I’m a producer and singer here too. Guess we’ll be seeing each other around a lot more.”

“Looks like it,” he replies, his smile widening. “Maybe we could work on something together sometime.”

I can’t help but laugh. “You say that like I wouldn’t be honored.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “The honor’s mine. Seriously.”

There’s a comfortable silence as the elevator continues its ascent, and I feel a sense of relief that I haven’t felt in a while. Being around Yoongi is easy. There’s no pressure, no expectations. Just two people who happen to get along.

Before the doors open to my floor, Yoongi pulls out his phone. “Hey, do you mind if we exchange numbers? In case you need anything...work-related, of course.”

“Of course,” I reply, feeling a warmth spread through me as we swap numbers. The doors slide open, and I step out, turning back to give him a small wave. “See you around, Yoongi.”

“See you, Y/N,” he replies, and I can feel his eyes on me as I walk down the hallway. For the first time today, I feel a genuine smile tugging at my lips.

-------------

Yoongi’s arm is around my shoulders as we approach my apartment building.

 The evening air is cool, a welcome relief after a stressful day. We reach the door, and I fumble with my keys, feeling a tight knot of anxiety in my stomach.

As we step inside, I’m met with an unexpected and unsettling scene. 

Jungkook is sprawled on the couch, clearly drunk, his clothes disheveled. The room is a chaotic mess, reflecting his mental state.

Yoongi looks at me with a quick, sympathetic glance but doesn’t enter the apartment. “I’ll text you once I’m home,” he says quietly, giving me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks, Yoongi,” I manage to reply, though my mind is already racing with dread about the confrontation that’s about to unfold.

Yoongi watches me walk towards the door before turning and heading back to his car. 

I take a deep breath and step into the apartment, trying to steel myself for the encounter.

Jungkook’s eyes shift towards me, narrowing with a mix of anger and contempt. “Look who decided to come back,” he slurs, his voice dripping with disdain. “You and your new friend.”

I try to keep my voice steady. “Jungkook, can we not do this right now?”

He stands up with a lurch, stumbling towards me. His face is flushed, and his breath smells of alcohol. 

“Oh, so now you want to play nice? After everything you’ve put me through?”

I wince at his words but hold my ground. “I didn’t come here to fight. I just needed to get rest after work.”

Jungkook’s gaze hardens, and he stumbles closer, his voice rising with every word. “You think you can waltz back in here like nothing happened? You were too busy with your career to even notice what was going on with us. And then, when we lost the baby, you act like it’s all my fault?”

The accusation is a knife to my heart, but I try to stay composed. “That’s not fair. You contributed to the stress, too. It wasn’t just me.”

Jungkook’s eyes are icy, filled with cruelty. “Fair? Do you know how it felt to be ignored? To have the person I was supposed to rely on pushing me away? You didn’t care about me or our baby. It was always about your career, your stress. You failed us.”

My tears start to fall uncontrollably.

 “I was trying my best to handle everything. I needed your support, but you were too busy finding someone else.”i sob

Jungkook’s anger intensifies, and he stumbles forward, grabbing my arms roughly. “You think you can just come back and fix things? You destroyed everything, and now you have to face the consequences.”

Before I can react, Jungkook pulls me towards him, his lips crashing onto mine in a forceful, unwanted kiss. The suddenness of it shocks me, and I struggle to push him away, my tears mixing with the bitterness of the moment.

“Stop it!” I manage to cry out, pushing against his chest with all my strength. “This isn’t what I want.”

Jungkook’s grip tightens, his eyes wild with a mix of rage and desperation. “You don’t get to walk away from this. You’ve hurt me, and now you’ll face it.”

I wrench myself free, stumbling back. My heart is racing, and the pain is overwhelming. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.”

I pull out my phone, feeling the tears fall freely. Yoongi’s message is waiting for me: “I’m home. Let me know if you need anything.”

I respond quickly, “Thank you.” The message is a small comfort amidst the storm of emotions.

jungkook threw the phone away, my eyes watching the phone being thrown away to the couch. 

he then tries to unbutton my blouse "jungkook- s-stop" i whimpered, trying to pull away from him but it wasn't working. he didn't stop kissing me.

 i was trapped.

 "you're still mine y/n" jungkook’s grip tightens, his eyes wild with a mix of rage and desperation, his voice is deeper than usual.

i just cried. letting him do what he wants to me knowing i can't do anything about it. he's too strong for me. 

all i need is to get away from him and get out of this apartment as soon as possible.

jungkook was drunk as hell.

 pounding into me harshly "you think you can get away from me?" he grunts 

"this cunt is mine only" i moaned as i sob at the same time. i didn't want this. 

"jungkook! please.. stop" i let out a whimper, still my palm on his chest, trying hard to push him away. 

finally i felt jungkooks release into me. i felt dirty.

i felt dirty having him all over me.

he pulls out and forgets about me, and goes to the shower, leaving me as it is. 

like im some sort of object. 

i sit down looking down at my bruised cunt, sobbing.

[squinch-depraved]

schlatt x single mom!reader part 1 (aside from my post about how you met)

(this will be going up on my ao3 once it's ready, i'll probably edit it and format it differently and stuff so don't be surprised if it's a lil different but tumblr gets the first version)

(if anyone has an idea for a title for this series lmk pls eek)

even though daphne’s alarm clock went off at the same time every morning with the same exact song like, well… clockwork, it still infuriated you to no end. having to wake up to “crazy frog” every damn day since you made the mistake of showing it to her almost a year ago now was bad, but what was worse was how for the past few weeks, you would stub your toe or shin or whatever it may be on one of the dozens of packed up boxes strewn about the cramped studio apartment you shared with your daughter on your way to turning off the godforsaken hello kitty alarm clock. if it weren’t so special to the both of you, you would have chucked it out of one of the two tiny windows you had ages ago.

“up, daphydil. we gotta be at the cafe in 20, opening’s in 2 hours. now, c’mon girlie,” you gently coaxed her out of bed. she was small for a five-year-old, golden brown ringlets messily framing her face and hanging in front of her forever wild eyes. a soft smile played at your lips as you stroked her hair. “there’s my beautiful girl. alright, can you be ready in 10 minutes? i bet you can’t. i bet you can’t so much that if you are ready to go in 10 minutes, shoes and everything, i’ll let you ride on my back all the way to the store. does that sound good?” daphne grinned mischievously and nodded.

“can i have a muffin for breakfast at the store?” she asked.

must be a good day, you thought. she’s talking.

“of course, bear. i’ll make the blueberry ones like you like for both of us, how ‘bout that?”

“okay. stop taking up my 10 minutes, please.”

you laughed and rose off her bed. “that’s fair. the clock starts now, daph, gogogo!” you set a timer on your phone and chuckled to yourself again as she raced to her pile of boxes to pick out an outfit. she had the most eccentric taste for a kindergartener. well, she would be in kindergarten. you had yet to find a school that worked for her— sure, she had only tried preschools, but the amount of other kids there combined with the lack of your presence sent her into a shutdown for almost a week each time. so you decided to homeschool her. school didn’t start for another week, so you still had time to get things sorted. but it was going to be extremely challenging, running the cafe, teaching her, getting moved into the new apartment, and all the other stuff you had to attend to.

for a split second as you walked back over to your own pile of clothes, the man from yesterday flashed through your mind. you couldn’t stop yourself from going over his features while you changed into working clothes; something about him made you want to give him a chance. and so, before you knew it, you were responding to his “thanks again” text he had sent once you parted ways.

you: schlatt. if you’re free, meet us at this address for breakfast. would love to talk. if not, we’re there all day. thanks.

with that, you sent him the location of the store and chucked your phone onto the bed, hissing in regret and running a hand through your hair. the embarrassment was short lived, though, as almost immediately your phone dinged with a response.

jesus, eager much?

but being the hypocrite that you are, you dove for the phone, just as excited as he was.

schlatt: hey!! yeah, sure, i can be there in maybe an hour. see you then!

taking deep breaths, you slid your phone into your back pocket and strapped on your work boots, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder.

“i’m ready.”

“fuck!! oh, jesus, daph, i’m sorry,” you panted. “you scared the shit out of me, girl, you walk too quiet. alright, let me grab a few last things and we’ll go.” she nodded, smiling, and stepped out of your way. after you had locked the door behind you both, she raised her arms as if asking to be picked up and made a grabbing motion. with a dramatic sigh and a roll of your eyes, you squatted down and helped daphne climb on top of your back. once she was settled, you began the trek down the street to the cafe.

you wished more than anything you could see the world through daphne’s eyes. to her, pigeons were fascinating creatures that she could spew off facts about for hours. she was so full of knowledge and so willing to share it; it was how she showed her love. to her, a piece of trash on the ground could be turned into an accessory for a hat, or a decoration, or whatever it may be. she was endlessly creative and resourceful (where she got that from, you had no idea). to her, her mother was a hero. and, god, how you envied her ability to see you that way.

“we’re here!” you announced as you turned the key in the lock and stepped into the dark building. flicking on the lights, you leaned down and let daphne hop off your shoulders. “smells like coffee.”

“i hate the smell of coffee,” daphne mumbled.

“me too, bear. now, c’mon, we gotta get going!! we’re opening soon!”

she began her routine of sweeping the dining area first, and then the kitchen, and then the bathrooms while you turned on all the machines and let a few employees in the back entrance to help start everything up. opening always goes quicker than closing, so it wasn’t long before you opened the doors and let the regulars in.

but among them was schlatt. somehow you had forgotten he was coming, and daphne lit up when she saw him walk in.

“funny man!” she yelled, dropping the tongs she was holding and sprinting around to meet his fistbump from her station at the muffin display.

“daph!! now i gotta wash those again,” you grumbled. “hey, schlatt.” you sheepishly finished wiping down the counter and scanned the store for any customers. luckily, it was saturday, so there were only a few people already seated and enjoying their food; you had some time to talk before the next rush came in.

“child labor, y/n?? really?” he joked, eyeing the menu above you.

“it’s not child labor if you went through labor to have the child,” daphne spoke, repeating a phrase you had said in passing once to a friend.

“oh my god!! daphy, please, can you go make sure the mug shelf is all straight?”

she nodded, glancing at schlatt one last time before she left. he was trying to hold in his laughter, but let out a sputtering chuckle once she walked away.

you closed your eyes and took a breath before speaking. “i’m so sorry. i swear i said that once. like, genuinely one time and she says that whenever someone comments on her working. she’s too smart for her own good, i don’t know what to do with her.”

“you know, you do an awful lot of apologizing when there’s nothing really to be sorry for. she’s hilarious, from what i’ve seen. why do you always try to defend her?”

your face went hot and you stammered a few times. “buy me a drink first, damn, dude…” with a huff, you went back to scrubbing the spotless counter.

“i- fuck. i’m sorry. that’s too much. let me start over, please?” he leaned in a bit, resting his elbow on the surface between you. when you gave him a short nod, he sighed a bit with relief and nodded his head towards a blueberry muffin. “can i get one of those?”

you couldn’t help but grin at his choice of pastry as you packaged it. “anything to drink?”

“what’s your coffee order?”

“three cans of diet coke. i don’t drink that shit,” you tried to jest but it sounded bitter.

he blinked a few times and nodded. “good, me neither. i was willing to, though, let that be known.”

with a laugh, you replied, “noted. here, take a seat and i’ll bring you a lemonade? daph’s idea, she thought it would be refreshing to keep in stock for the heathens like us who don’t drink bean juice.”

“sounds good. i’ll be over here,” he called as he walked towards a table hidden away in the corner. you couldn’t stop smiling to yourself as you poured two lemonades, thanking the stars above you remembered to actually make some this morning. usually nobody ordered any until the afternoon.

setting the two glasses on the table as you slid into the seat across from him, you shot one final glance at your assistant manager, who was running the counter while you took a few minutes to talk with schlatt. luckily, she was too busy with a customer asking for a refill to make a face at you and your new potential suitor.

“holy shit, that’s fancy lemonade. is that mint on top?”

“yeah, daph says it ‘enhances the flavor profile,’ or some shit. she likes food network a lot.”

he eyed the green sprig and took a cautious sip, eyebrows raising once he made a decision on the flavor. “she’s really smart, man. i never woulda thought of this. how old is she?”

“five. she has autism; she’s always been crazy genius. i don’t know how to keep up with her, she’s already smarter than me,” you chuckled quietly. “she’s so creative, too. i can’t find a school good enough to teach her things, she has a hard time being away from me and it’s just a whole thing. speak of the devil, actually.” daphne was skipping across the dining area and sat down in the seat next to you. “hey, bear!”

“i’m not a devil, mama.”

“it’s an expression, baby. remember? like, ‘easy as pie?’”

“oh yeah. because we tried to make pie and it went really bad.”

you sighed, smiling, and rested your head in your hands. “yes, bear. ‘speak of the devil’ just means, ‘here comes the person we were just talking about!’”

daphne pulled out a notebook from her apron pouch and took a pen from your shirt pocket to write down her new phrase.

“what’s that?” schlatt asked her. “you’re five and you know how to write??” you opened your mouth to tell him, but daphne beat you to it.

“i like to write things down so i can talk better.”

“i think you talk just fine, personally.”

both of you flicked your eyes up to squint at him, curling your mouths in the same look of confusion and intrigue.

“oh my god, you two look identical making that face, that’s hilarious,” he mumbled through a mouthful of muffin. at the same time, daphne and you side-eyed each other and started laughing.

“mama says i talk just fine too, but nobody else ever did. now two people think i talk good. maybe you could be my dad,” she wondered aloud. you choked on your lemonade and slammed it back onto the table, spilling some onto the old, damaged wood.

“okay, daph. can you go get me some paper towels from the back to clean this up and then go see if anyone needs help putting sprinkles on the donuts?”

“i already looked, the donuts are done. but the syrups need refilling.”

“okay, go do that, bear.”

“mhm.”

she skipped away, oblivious to what she had just started, and returned a moment later with a roll of towels to clean up. it was silent until she left for the second time.

“you’re gonna trust a five-year-old to refill syrup bottles?”

“she’s actually steadier than i am. she came up with, like, a whole system, it’s really cool. and she’s not by herself, we have a highschooler that’s working with us for the summer, she helps her.”

thank god that’s the first thing he brought up.

“mm. listen, i understand how kids are, we don’t have to talk about what she just…”

“yeah. thanks. she’s, um… she just kinda says what’s on her mind; i can’t stop her.”

“i get it. so, uh,” he rotated his now half-empty glass a few times as he went over what to say in his mind. “why does your nametag say ‘owner?’”

with a glance down at your badge, you slunk down in your chair. “this is my parents’ store. they always wanted me to take over, and i kind of didn’t have a choice after mom fell down the stairs over there. they used to live above the cafe, now they’re in a home and i have to run this dump. at least i get to move out of my studio and into this place, though. if i can ever find the time to actually get my stuff from one place to another.” you sounded more and more dejected as you went on, unable to meet his gaze.

“i can help you move,” schlatt offered smoothly. you smiled, but shook your head.

“nah, man, we have a lot of stuff. it’d be too much to ask of you.”

“shut the fuck up, it’s fine. look, how about we make a trade? i’ll help you move if you let me take you out on a date.”

you blinked a few times in confusion as your face heated up. “m-maybe, dude. i dunno. look, we’re in a rush now, i’ve gotta get behind the counter and try to help my employees get this under control. i’ll come back in a bit.” you gestured to the line that was almost out the door and rose from your seat.

“lemme help!”

his words stopped you in your tracks. “what??”

“let me help,” he repeated, “it’s clear you need it, you’ve got three guys besides you and one of them is a toddler.”

he had a point. flustered, you waved for him to follow you. “just put on an apron and wash your hands.”

the rush of patrons took about an hour to deal with; they just kept coming. schlatt handled everything with grace, upselling people on pastries when they only ordered a coffee and making casual conversation with the usual customers that came in to ask about you and your family.

he was so much better at dealing with chaos than you thought he would be. for some reason, you were expecting him to dip out as soon as he could. it was hard to picture him wanting to hang around after learning about you and how complicated you were. but for some unknown reason, he stayed. you watched him with a soft smile on your face as he undid his apron and hung it back up before stepping around to the other side of the counter.

“wasn’t so bad,” he teased, flicking his head towards the lemonade dispensers. “gimme another one of those.” you pushed the hand that was extending a credit card towards you away and turned around to grab a to-go cup.

“you kickin’ me out?” he asked, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

“i can’t work right with you here. need to think. so, i guess, just… show up here at 8 tonight wearing something nice and ready to take me somewhere. you’re gonna help me move my stuff this weekend.” unable to look him in the eyes as your face burned, you handed him the drink and quickly crossed your arms when he took it.

“i am, huh?” he was grinning as he took the straw between his teeth.

“yes.” you swept some crumbs away with your foot and glanced at him for a split second.

“alright, y/n. you like steak?”

“i guess. haven’t had it in years, it’s too expensive…” you mumbled.

“perfect. i’ll see you at 8, toots. bye, daphne!” he waved to the girl who was sitting at the table with an elderly woman sketching something in her notebook.

“bye, funny man!” she called back, not looking up from her drawing. the woman across from her looked shocked at her words.

“bye, schlatt!” you waited until he was down the street before jumping up and down a few times and pumping your fists in the air.

“got a date?” the woman watching daphne asked across the nearly empty store.

“uhm. yeah, actually, i do, mrs. reid,” you stuttered.

“need me to watch daphne for you?”

“yeah, that would be super helpful, actually.” you brought her a new cup of tea and traded it for her old one. “on the house.”

“she’s been talking a lot more.”

running one hand through your hair, you sighed and sat down next to daphne. “yeah, we’ve been working on it a lot. something about schlatt makes her open up. anything to say, bear?”

she just stuck her tongue out in concentration and continued drawing pigeons.

“that’s okay, daphy. you don’t ever have to talk if you don’t want to.” with a gentle pet of her head, you stood up and walked back behind the counter to help a customer that had just come in. you were unable to stop yourself from running over the events of the morning in your head, focusing on how schlatt would smile at you and how he seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say.

you just have to be careful, you kept telling yourself. don’t get your hopes up.

it was too late. you couldn’t help it; your hopes were high. he made you feel… normal again. it had been almost six years since you felt that way. now you were just praying it would last, even if for only a night.

[bloatedandalone04]

The End of Love

➪the one where you break up but still love each other. (requested-ish)

Warnings: angst, fluff, break ups, swearing, gaslighting

Inspired by the song 'The End of Love' by Florence + The Machine

Word Count: 3.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

The buildings intimated you in the best way. 

You look up and have to squint, even though you were wearing sunglasses. The sun was high and had no clouds whatsoever to hide behind, making the heat shine down on you. 

It didn’t bother you, though. 

How could you be bothered when you had the perfect guy next to you? The same guy who had been next to you since junior year of high school, as well as the guy who promised you that university wouldn’t change anything between the two of you. Oh, how you wished that were true. You wished you knew how bad things would end. Maybe if you did, you could’ve saved yourself from the heartbreak.

But that was later.

Right now, you were in awe. 

“I knew it was going to be big, but I never imagined New York being this massive,” you say, barely able to catch your breath. “How will we find the time to explore everything before school starts?” 

“We have all summer,” Ethan says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder. The two of you continue to walk down one of the many streets that made up the big city, your eyes looking everywhere in hopes to take everything in all at once. “And even when school starts back up again, we’ll still find time to explore together. We’re going to be fine.”

“You promise?” You ask and tilt your head up to look at him.

Ethan laughed and nodded, leaning down to kiss you quickly. “I promise,”

-

You were three seconds away from pulling your hair out. 

You knew education after high school would be hard but you weren’t aware that it would be this fucking brutal. You were tired and stressed and annoyed and about this close to throwing your textbooks at Sam and Tara as they once again got into another argument. 

Gripping your pen tighter, your mind goes back to Sam’s apologetic smile and her kind words of, “I’m sorry we were so loud earlier. We’ll be more quiet next time, Tara just frustrates me sometimes,” and then fast forward to an hour later when they began bickering again. 

You tried to focus your attention on your school work, but your mind was somewhere else completely. You look over at your phone and debate whether or not to pick it up and send Ethan another text. He probably wouldn’t answer it, anyway, as the last three you’ve sent him had been left on delivered. 

Six whole hours had gone by since you sent the first one, another three since the second and just one since the last. He had to be busy, right? Maybe he was trying to get some work done, too, and turned his phone off or something. 

Still, it would’ve been nice to receive just one text saying that he couldn’t talk right now and that he’d call you later. 

Instead of unlocking your phone when you reach for it, you toss it even further away from you on the bed in hopes the distance would make it so you didn’t feel the need to constantly keep checking it. 

You would just keep disappointing yourself if you were to open your messages and see the same stupid words. 

Delivered an hour ago. Three hours ago. Six hours ago. 

Seriously, what the fuck was he doing that was so important he couldn’t find the time to send a quick text? 

God, when did you turn into this kind of girlfriend? The one who drives herself crazy when she doesn’t receive a text back in a reasonable amount of time? Ethan never gave you a reason not to trust him, so why were you getting so annoyed at his lack of responses? 

You take a deep breath before going back to the notes you took in class today. Though, as soon as you began reading, your phone went off and you grabbed it within seconds. 

Eth <3: hey, sorry for not answering :/ i’ve been stuck in lectures all day and left my phone at the apartment. i just got home now

It was embarrassing how quickly you began typing a response. 

No worries, glad you’re alive

Eth <3: haha

Your brows furrowed at his unusual short response and your thumbs started moving again without a second thought. 

What are you doing now? Want to come save me from The Bickersons? The sisters aren’t getting along at all today

After hitting send, you set your phone back down and go back to reading over your notes, relieved at the fact that you were able to get into contact with your boyfriend.

During the middle of your mini study session, your phone went off again and you were surprised to see that it had been a full forty five minutes since you sent the last text.

Eth <3: sorry, babe, i can’t tonight. i’m going to that frat party with chad 

Eth <3: maybe we can hang out tomorrow?

Disappointment settled in your chest as you read over the two messages again, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Hang out? It seemed weird for your boyfriend to suggest hanging out when he usually always just showed up or sent you a text that let you know he was on the way. There was never any planning, just doing. 

You shake off the weird feeling that bubbled in your chest and answer his text.

That’s okay, I just miss you :) Tomorrow works for me

Eth <3: miss you too <3

You held back a scoff and tossed your phone to the end of your bed. Ethan’s short replies were unusual and made a sinking feeling form in your heart at the very real change that is currently happening in your relationship. 

-

The next day came, and once again you found yourself unable to reach Ethan.

Hey, when did you want to hang out?

You cringed when you sent that text as you never referred to spending time with him as ‘hanging out’.

Half an hour went by before you sent a second text, and another hour before a third. 

Did you want to check out that breakfast place we were talking about?

Are you even awake yet?

You assumed he wasn’t when another hour passed with radio silence on his end. Believing that was better than the alternative; he was ignoring you.

It was hard to believe that a whole twelve hours went by before your phone went off. 

Eth <3: i’m so sorry, i forgot we had plans. i’ve been studying all day for that test on friday so i wasn’t near my phone 

Plans? That’s news to you. 

As far as you knew, Ethan asked you to hang out then completely ghosted you. 

It was then when you found yourself slipping away and not bothering to reach out first anymore. It was a sad realisation that you two would go days without speaking or seeing each other and the only time he would talk to you was when you started a conversation or asked to spend a day with him. 

The effort he was putting in was non-existent and you quickly found yourself putting in less and less effort as well. 

You didn’t know what happened, but you knew when it happened. 

You two were so happy during the summer, but now that school had started again it was as if you were dating a ghost. Though, really thinking about it,  you were sure a ghost would respond to you more than Ethan does at this point.

-

An entire month went by with very little contact between you and Ethan, and to say you were losing hope in the relationship would be the biggest understatement of the century. 

A total of fifteen texts were shared and you had only seen each other nine times. What kind of relationship were you in? It wasn’t normal at all and it wasn’t like either of you to be so distant with each other. You couldn’t help it, though. Ethan had failed to stay on top of replying to texts and it hurt you more than you cared to admit. 

Though, the lack of communication was not just his fault. You had stopped texting him daily and instead only sent him a message every few days, some of which went unanswered completely. Instead of going over to his place or having him come over to yours, you only really saw him in between classes or at a party, and even that was rare. 

Like the other night, both you and Ethan were invited to a frat party without either of you realising it. When you bumped into him and saw your boyfriend for the first time in five days, you were brought back to the good times you used to have with him. It was easy to forget how bad things had gotten.

You ended up staying with him for the rest of the night and the two of you acted like you were in a normal relationship still and ignored the very obvious tension that hung in the air. 

It was nice to pretend for a night.

A day went by and you were back to not communicating once again. And the cycle continued. 

You considered it a miracle when you both found the time to spend a day with each other, though you two were both far from how you used to be. Ethan moved around your apartment with the hesitation of a stranger, and you couldn’t think of one thing to say to him that would start a conversation. 

Now here you were. You were sitting on the couch with Ethan right next to you, yet you felt so far away. There was an overwhelming sinking feeling in your chest and you knew what was coming. It was inevitable at this point, you both felt it. 

It wasn’t working out.

School got in the way.

We’re going in different directions.

We’re just too busy.

It didn’t make you feel any better.

But then again…who actually felt good about ending a relationship where you used to be so happy, one where you two were so good together?

The silence was overwhelming and both of you were too scared to be the first one to talk as you knew that when one of you did…it would be over.  A nearly three year relationship just over. It hurt to think about, let alone allow it to happen. 

With a shaky breath, you look over at him to find him already looking at you. You give him a sad smile and he returns it, refraining from reaching over and taking your hand in his. Instead, he bit back his hesitation and mumbled, “This isn’t working out, is it?”

You look away quickly, biting down on your lower lip as you slowly shake your head. “It’s not,” 

There it was. The end.

Ethan sighed as he played with the sleeves of his henley. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep that promise,” he said quietly. 

Your mind went back to the summertime and his promising words of ‘Even when school starts back up again….we’re going to be fine’. 

But you weren’t fine. 

His apology had your eyes watering and your lip quivering. Turning your head away from him so he wouldn’t see your face, you let a few tears fall. It was too much. You had thought you’d prepared yourself for this. Your relationship this past month was more like a friendship, and you were sure that things would be so different when you were over for good. The only reason you even saw him this month was because you both felt guilty about not putting in enough effort and just decided to push aside the tension and act like everything was fine. 

Would you ever see him again after this?

The thought had another sharp stab pierce your heart.

You shrug your shoulders in response, quickly wiping your eyes with the palm of your hand. “It just got too hard to keep up with. Life got in the way,” you hated the words you were saying as you refused to meet his eyes. “We tried, didn’t we?��

You weren’t sure why you were asking him that as you knew you both put in a poor effort to keep the relationship going. But Ethan knew this too, yet he didn’t want to say the truth, either. “We did,” he completed the lie with a simple nod of his head, something you missed as you still didn’t look over at him. 

The silence returned and you shifted uncomfortably. Never did you ever think you’d be uncomfortable while in the presence of Ethan. Things really have changed. 

In hopes to keep him in your life just a little bit longer, you ask him another question and try to ignore the way your voice cracked, “We were good together, right?”

Ethan’s reply came instantly. “Of course we were,” and it wasn’t a lie. 

Sure, the end of your relationship was hard, but the beginning was amazing, the middle was when you had some of the best days of your life, and the decision to end it was mutual. Not many couples can say that their breakup was mutual. 

You nod at his words, taking a chance and reaching over to grab his hand. Ethan let you as he knew this would be one of the last times he would be able to touch you. 

A teary exchange of smiles later had him getting up and leaving your apartment and finally you were able to bury your head in the pillows to muffle your sobs, the harsh reality of what just happened hitting you hard.

-

Two weeks passed and you weren’t over the breakup. You feared it would take many months for your heart to heal even a little bit, but you were okay with that. The ache you felt when you woke up was bearable as it meant your love was real and it happened. 

Sure, it was over, but it happened. And that was enough to keep you going. 

You skipped a lecture today to stay home and catch up on some reading. Well, you were supposed to be reading but here you were, laying on the couch and scrolling through your phone with the book open on your chest. 

That Summer in New York <3

You don’t know how many times you’ve read that caption of your last post with Ethan on your Instagram. The various photos did nothing to soothe the ache in your heart, but they did bring you the smallest bit of comfort.

The post was from the same day Ethan promised you’d be fine when school started, and the memory of that day was what kept you going. It was a good day, one filled with laughs, love and exploring the big city with your boyfriend. It was hard to think of that day being one of the last good ones you had with him.

Fuck, you missed him. Just like how you felt during the last stretch of your relationship, you felt worse now that it was truly over. 

The amount of times you had to stop yourself from texting him were countless, though the high twenties would be your guess. You hadn’t seen him since the breakup, with the exception of his past self in the photos on your page, and all you wanted to do was check if he was okay. Was he sad like you? Happy? Fine?

Like yours, his Instagram was still full of posts of the two of you as it seemed like he, too, couldn’t bring himself to delete them. It brought you the smallest amount of joy to know that the wound was still fresh to him like it was to you. 

Your mind went back to before you two were even dating and you realised that you started out as friends. That got you thinking; if you were friends before your relationship, who says you can’t be friends after it?

And with that, you open your texts and type out a message before you could stop yourself. 

Hey! I was thinking about you today and wanted to know if you were wanting to get together sometime? As friends :) I miss you and don’t want to not have you in my life

Before you could tell yourself that you sounded too desperate, your thumb hit send and you were left with the same message that used to haunt you.

Delivered one minute ago. 

It was only ten minutes later when your phone went off and you sat up quickly, setting the book down and grabbing your phone from off the coffee table. 

Ethan: you read my mind

Ethan: i miss you, too

The smile that formed on your lips was the biggest you’ve had in months and you quickly typed back a reply, not caring  at how needy it made you look. 

Great, we’ll set something up for the end of the week? 

A reply never came as quick as his. 

Ethan: definitely, can’t wait

You were now in a much better mood as you stood up from the couch and peaked your head in Tara’s room. She was on her bed, playing on her phone when she looked over and immediately sat up. “Hey, Y/n,” she said, the smile on your face making one form on hers. She hadn’t seen you look this happy in a while, so she wasn’t about to decline when you asked her if she wanted to go get brunch together. 

Tara was beyond excited to see your true, happy self slowly coming back. She knew how hard the breakup hit you and to see you begin to put yourself back together had a permanent smile on her face. 

Fall was just around the corner and the air was chilly, but that was the last thing on your mind as Tara guided you towards the new restaurant that had recently opened. She went there with Chad and couldn’t stop talking about how good the food was.

You listened with a smile on your face but within seconds your legs stop moving and your smile drops. 

Tara, who continued rambling about the food, stopped walking when she realised you were no longer next to her. She backtracks and stands next to you, placing a comforting hand on your arm. “What? What is it?”

You were looking off in the distance, unable to answer her as you felt tears spring to your eyes. Tara furrowed her brows at that and tried to see what you were looking at, and when she did, her hold on you tightened. 

On the opposite side of the street was Ethan.

You knew the first time you saw him after the breakup would hurt, but you assumed it would be because of a completely different reason than the one you felt now. 

You assumed it would hurt because you hadn’t seen him in weeks and you missed him, not because he was currently locking lips with a girl. 

“Y/n,” Tara said quietly, her hand moving down to properly hold yours. Tara had a feeling that the reason you were so happy was because of Ethan and a possible reconciliation, so seeing this had her mind going blank and her jaw locking. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off the scene and you watch as Ethan’s hands grip the girl’s waist and she leans further into the kiss. Her hands caress the sides of his face as she moves closer to him and that was when you decided you’d seen enough. 

Tara tugged you away and you let her. The two of you turn your back to your ex as she guides you back in the direction of your apartment, missing the way Ethan pulled away just in time to see you walk around the corner.

[spider-gem]

Alright so there’s been something that’s been driving me CRAZY in Hazbin Hotel, and I haven’t seen a lot of people address it, so I’m going to. What is it? THIS:

I know it’s obvious to some, but I don’t think that enough people grasp the likelihood that Alastor and Vox used to be FRIENDS. Like, close enough friends that Alastor let Vox take a PICTURE with him. We’re talking about the same radio demon that never lets anyone take a clear photo/video of him.

So, if they were so close, what made them fall apart? Again, stating the obvious, but it probably (most definitely) had to do with Vox’s need to stay with the times vs. Alastor loyalty to his chosen media from the past. Here’s how I think their relationship developed and fell apart, which I’m hoping we’ll get to see in the show:

Alastor died in the 1930’s and Vox died about twenty years later, sometime in the 1950’s. We know that Alastor rose to power at an alarming rate, according to Mimzy. So when Vox died and went to hell, it’s likely that Alastor already had a strong reputation. Being new in hell, a good way to rise to power is to ally oneself with those already in power, right? Maybe Vox even idolized Alastor, seeing that both are some type of media demons. Maybe Alastor saw potential in him. So it’s very likely that Vox allied himself with Alastor, even forming some type of bond, and began to rise as a fellow overlord.

I think it’s also important to point out that Vox didn’t start out as a modern flatscreen tv in hell. He died in the 1950’s, remember? And we’ve seen in an old photo with Valentino (which I will come back to), he seems to regularly update himself to whatever modern advancement there is. So his head probably looked like one of these:

Now, Alastor likely still had his radio-is-superior mindset, but was still willing to ally himself with the new media demon. They’re both really similar, after all. We’ve seen the parallels. They probably bonded over their ambition and use of media to manipulate others. While they likely jokingly jabbed at each other on whether tv or radio is better, it was never anything to serious. That is, until Vox started to change himself. That’s where that photo with Valentino comes in.

This let’s us know that Vox consistently made updates to himself whenever there was an advancement in television. These changes didn’t sit well with Alastor, which is where the riff began. While Vox was determined to change with the times, Alastor was committed to his past. And as Vox changed, he likely wanted his closest friend in hell to change with him.

Now, in Stayed Gone, Alastor says that Vox asked him to “join his team”. This team, the Vee’s, couldn’t have started until Valentino was introduced to hell after his death in the 1970’s. And Velvette died much later, approximately around the early 2000’s to 2010’s. So, I see this playing out as Vox befriending Valentino, who showed some potential, shortly after his death. And there’s no way in hell (hehe get it) that Alastor liked Vox’s new ally. Vox and Valentino keep updating to stay with the times while Alastor stays the same.

After forming some sort of team with Val, which will expand and lead to the powers that the Vee’s now have, Vox wants Alastor to join them as well. After all, Alastor is his oldest ally and friend in hell, so of course he wants him by his side. However, there is a condition. If Alastor is to join this team, he would have to make changes to himself as well. If this team is going to stay fresh to the eyes of hell, an old timey radio demon on the team wouldn’t be a good look. So when Vox asks Alastor to do this, our favorite radio demon is undoubtedly pissed.

He’s looked the other way while Vox has made updates to himself. He hated it, which occasionally stirred up an argument, but nothing past that. But now? Vox has the nerve to tell him to do the same? And not only that, but to also join a TEAM? We know how prideful the radio demon is, he has an ego that puts the entire Pride Ring to shame. To be asked to join a TEAM is an insult to him and his power. He doesn’t need anyone (bullshit, but okay). And for Vox to just ask him to not only join this team, but also change for it? It’s almost like a betrayal, and he feels like his friend is attempting to use him. So, as we know, he turns down the offer. And that pisses Vox off.

Vox also feels betrayed and hurt. He thought they had each other’s back. They TRUSTED each other. How could Alastor turn him down so quickly, without a second thought? If they worked together, they could become the most powerful force in hell! There are sinners left and right that would kill for this offer! Had that trust been a lie? Was Vox just misguided in thinking that they were actually friends? So, to Vox, this decline is a massive “FUCK YOU” and a slap to the face. They get into an argument that leads to a huge, ugly fight between two petty media overlords who would rather hurt each other even more than talk about their feelings.

This is where the rivalry is born. Years pass and the rift between them grows. Vox and his team gains more power, especially after Velvette joins him and Val. The Vee’s now terrorize and control large portions of hell, having almost if not equal impact as that radio demon that broadcasts sinner’s screams. Through the years, Alastor and Vox have more back and forth battles, whether in banter between their broadcasts or in combat in real life.

The rivalry becomes an obsession for Vox. He wants Alastor to see him and his power, and see that he was wrong to turn him down. Deep down, he wants Alastor to change his mind. Val and Velvette don’t understand why the radio demon has such a hold on their partner, but support Vox’s desire to take him down. After all, the radio demon does currently hold more power than them. The more overlord’s they take down or control, the more power they gain.

We all know that prior to the seven years Alastor went missing, he and Vox had some sort of huge fights. And, according to Val, Alastor “almost beat” Vox. We don’t know what this fight entailed, but the word “almost” is interesting. This implies that either Vox barely beat Alastor or there was some sort of stalemate. I like to think the later, because it suggests that they are equals in a way, which is something that the would rather die than admit. Nevertheless, they are equals in power and in pride, which makes their parallels more impactful. These two idiots are trying to prove who is better, but they can’t. Because, in many ways, they are the same.

To wrap up this analysis, which ended up longer than I thought it would, I would like to go full circle and return to that ripped photo of Alastor and Vox. The photo that got torn in half by Vox in a that I like to imagine went down like that one scene from Mean Girl’s. You know which one. Not only did Vox tear it up in a fit of rage, but he KEPT IT. After all these years, he held onto that photo. The photo that is a reminder of a friendship now torn apart. A reminder that the radio demon once trusted him enough to let a photo be taken of him by his side. A reminder of what he lost.

Anyway, these two pathetic and petty losers are driving me insane, so it’s nice to finally get this out of my head and onto a post. I can’t wait to see more of them in season two and get more context behind their rivalry. I’ve got a good feeling that most of what I theorize will be proven true.

[hannahssimblr]

“I do. You always look pretty. Every time I see you, I think that.”

With this, she bursts into a flood of fresh tears. “Oh God, you’re so nice.”

“Look, I know this isn’t helpful, probably, but if things were different, if I wasn’t leaving, then maybe… maybe things would have turned out another way. I know you don’t think much of yourself, but I think you’re a great person. You’re really sweet and sensitive and talented and you make me laugh, and from my point of view anyway, you light up every room you walk into. Whoever the next person is that gets to be with you is lucky.”

“But it won’t be you.” Her mouth is so down-turned at the edges that she looks almost cartoony. Those looks are one thing I will miss most about her. If I were lucky enough to know her for longer, I think I’d fill a hundred sketchbooks just drawing the expressive shapes of her face.

I simply shake my head, and my arms are outstretched and ready to catch her as she falls into them for another round of sobs. There’s nothing I can do. I learned this a long time ago. Sometimes all you can do is hold someone until they’re ready to be let go again. I’ve spent whole nights holding Ivy like this, and I’ll spend hours with Evie if it’s what she needs.

Into her hair, I murmur an admission I have never made to another person. “Leaving is going to be so horrible. Sometimes I can’t think too much about it. Like, I know I won’t be that far away, but it’s going to change everything. I have amazing friends here that will be so hard to leave behind. And my family, obviously. I have a sister who’s nine. Ivy. She’s in that stage where she’s obsessed with me. She wants to do everything I do… Jesus, it’s going to be rough. I’ve never lived away from home before. I don’t really know how to be a functioning adult who, like, pays electricity bills.”

“It will be hard at first, but then eventually it will be really good,” she sniffles. “You’ll meet all these cool new people and you’ll forget all about everyone here.”

“Is that your way of telling yourself that I’ll forget about you, too?”

“You will.” 

“I won’t. We’ll still be friends. I’m not great at keeping up with people, and I don’t use Facebook that much…”

“So you’re saying we’ll be friends, like, on a symbolic level, but we’ll never actually talk to each other ever again.”

I laugh. “Shut up and let me finish before you start getting cross with me. I’ll email you. Old school, like.”

“Hm. That will be nice, like sending letters.”

“Exactly.”

She squeezes me, and I squeeze her back, gazing down at her face, red nose and smudged makeup, and I still think she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in real life. “How are you doing?”

“Very badly.”

“Well, one day, you won’t care about me at all. And maybe when you go to college, in like a few months, a year, or after that, you’ll look back on this and think ‘oh, ew, I can’t believe that when I was seventeen, I liked that lanky guy with the weird accent. That was so embarrassing.’ And you’ll wonder why you ever cried over this at all.”

Her face becomes fierce, like she wants to be serious, but it’s hard not to smile when she sticks her lip out like that. If I was being stupider, I might like to push my thumb into that crease between her eyebrows. “You don’t have a weird accent.” She insists. “Well, okay, you do, but I like it. And there’s nobody on earth that’d be embarrassed to have ever liked you.” 

“Okay, Evie.” I chuckle. “Lets see how you feel in a year.”

“A year?”

“Yeah, one year from now, I’ll email you, like I will every single week, mind, and you’ll roll your eyes and think, ‘oh God, him again?’ I’d be willing to bet on it.”

“You underestimate my feelings.”

She overestimates them, more likely, because we’re young and stupid and that’s just what we do, but it’s fine. She’ll learn, like I did with Michelle and all the girls that came before her, that the things that feel raw and real in the moment, the people you swear you’ll spend your life loving and wanting and missing, you forget them in the end.  

We lapse into silence as the grasshoppers chirp in the long grass. The cleaner comes by to pick some of the rubbish nearby and makes small talk with me about various happenings at the festival. Ignoring Evie, firmly locked in my arms with her damp cheek against my chest.

When he finishes, and the rubbish is gone, and the music in the distance goes silent, it is just us and the insects and the blanket of dew, and the smell of lingering summer in the air. Evie shivers, and I draw back to look into her sad little face.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“I think you are.”

She smiles, and her teeth chatter. “If I say so, then you’ll make me go back to the tent.”

“We have to go back eventually, don’t we?” I take the opportunity to stretch out one of my legs, which is cramping. “What time is it?”

“Don’t care.”

“It’s got to be… I don’t know. You can see the sun rising a bit.”

“If we leave, then it’s over,” she whispers.

I murmur, “It’s over, anyway.”

Green eyes skim my face in one last pursuit of a truth they won’t find. And then she sighs with resignation. “You’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m going away.”

“It’s just sad.”

“Of course. For me too.” And I’m not sure there’s much left to say. “Come on. Let’s just end this day.”

She doesn’t protest. Climbing to our feet, we make our way back towards the campsite, hand in hand. Though she’s not my girlfriend and never will be, it feels good to pretend while I can.

It’s lights out in our circle, embers smouldering in a campfire that we missed, and someone’s, Joe’s, Kasper’s, snores float from their tent. Evie’s is wet with morning dew as I unzip it for her with the same chivalry as any man opening a door for a lady. She shuffles inside, and the moonlight shows up the goosebumps on her arms and legs. Claire is not inside, her shoes stacked neatly outside Shane’s tent instead.

Evie grabs my wrist before I zip her inside. “Do you want to come and stay with me?” She whispers. “We won’t do anything. I just think it’d be nicer than being alone.”

We will do something. I’ve been a teenage boy for long enough to know the score, and tempting as it is to have one final, movie-magic experience with her to round off the summer, I know it is different for her than it is for me.

I shake my head. “Not a good idea, Evie. Sorry. Goodnight.”

The last thing I see is the dismay on her face before I zip her inside the tent, and head for my own.

There is Jen, cocooned in her sleeping bag. She stirs as I fumble with my clothes.

“You’re back,” her voice cracks with sleep. I ignore her, as the anger I felt for her in the woods resurfaces with a vengeance. My heart thuds with the memory.

“What time is it?” she says, and again, I say nothing. I struggle into bed and turn my back to her.

“Jude?”

“Talk to me in the morning.” I whisper sharply, and I shut my eyes, willing away the heaviness of the day, and all the things I know are still to come. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[herejusttosufferalong]

I know quite a few people think Nic and Jake are only friends but I’m not quite sure about that and here’s why: 

First of all, I know a lot of people are saying that a few people commented under his last post that he was a “twink” but to me all these comments were said in a teasing way, and the term twink is normally used as a denotative descriptive term. He could look gay but not be one, or he could be bisexual. I know he played a queer character before but then again a bunch of actors do even when they’re straight. I don’t want to assume his sexual orientation anyway just because he has many gay friends and likes lana del rey lol, plus we’re just speculating so here’s why I think him and Nic might be more than just friends. 

I’m pretty sure they’ve only met in March this year at the Renegade Nell premiere. We know that Nic was on a 6 month press tour so seeing each other was probably difficult to do. However, they did have some time to hang out in April before she had to go to Australia, and Nic started posting quite a few interesting songs in her stories starting April. I have no idea which songs Jake was sharing during that time, however I do know that on May 18 he shared The Louvre and Nic shared Birds of a Feather. Then on June 2 she shared The Louvre. (We’ll come back to that later).

Nic wears a bucket hat with the words “Popup Bagels”. I know that it’s her hat because she follows the IG page and also owns a different hat with the same words. I know for a fact that on May 14, Jake already had his profile picture with the same bucket hat. I couldn’t tell you when he changed his pfp exactly, but I have a strong feeling that Nic bought this hat when she was in New York at the end of April when they left Australia, and I think Jake was with her in New York. It looks like he could be in a hotel room in his pfp. And it is her hat, not his. 

We first see Nic wearing this hat at the airport coming back from Brasil, May 22. Then funny enough, there were rumors going around that Nic and Luke were in Spain towards the end of May. We know Nic’s stylist was. But guess who else was in Spain? Jake. And guess who is wearing her bucket hat in Spain? Jake, on May 30. You can see that in his stories. 

And who is wearing that bucket hat again, a few days later? Nic, at the airport going to Toronto, on June 2. Why would you share a hat with someone that much? I have no clue if Nic was in Spain but they saw each other quite a lot during the two week break they had before she left for Toronto, that’s for sure. 

Like I said earlier, on June 2, Nic was the one to share the song The Louvre. This song literally means “It’s about new love. How complicated it can be & how infuriating & how perfect it is as well.” All right… 

June 10, if everyone remembers, the interview where Nic fixes Luke’s hair dropped and everyone freaked out. Nic and Luke saw what everyone was saying, and Jake probably did too. That’s when Jake shared the song Pavement Tune by The Frames. On the very same day, Nic shared Redemption/Your Face by The Frames. Yeah, you can like the same music and bands as your friends, but the timing? The lyrics?? It felt like an apology to me. A message. 

Obviously two days later was the premiere and we know Jake was there because he was posting in his stories just like all of their commun friends. Then a few days later, Nic shared a story made by Camilla where you can see someone wearing her famous shirt “Kiss me, I’m Irish and vaccinated”. Jake was the one wearing it and you can hear his voice in the video. Okay, you can let someone borrow your hat I guess… but why are you wearing her shirt?? 

June 25, when Jake posted stories at the park and you can see Nic’s purse. That’s when people knew they were hanging out just the two of them. 

June 30, Nic posted a story with a green flag with "women with perfect breasts" and wished a Happy pride to everyone. Jake didn’t post anything but I have a feeling they were all celebrating together with his/their friends because a few of his friends were sharing stories with similar flags/sky backgrounds. 

July 1, that’s when Jake posted a story at the theatre going to see People, Places & Things. Obviously you can’t see Nic anywhere, but now we know that they were together because someone saw them and shared to DM that they were “getting close”. Listen, getting close could mean anything, but that person called it a date night and didn’t say “she was just hanging out with a man who looked gay” lmao. I would never “get close” with a guy friend nor a gay friend. But that’s just me. 

July 6, Jake posted a story inside her house. Once again, they looked to be hanging out alone at her place this time. Has she ever hung out with a guy friend this much alone before? Beside JVN. 

And finally, the last big sighting we got on July 12. Them at the pub. And I knew way before seeing that photo of them that they were together just because of Jake’s stories. Seems to me that if he’s hanging out with his friends, he doesn’t mind showing them or tagging them. But when he’s with her, you don’t see her. He did accidentally showed her purse once but I don’t think he realized that people would recognize it.  

One last thing: the polaroid. Nic has definitely changed it and I don’t think it’s a photo of her and Luke anymore. And who else loves to take pictures as much as her? Jake. He even had his camera with him at the park. Is it crazy to think they took a photo at one point when they were hanging out and that’s the one she has right now? Maybe. But the way she was holding her phone at the event made it seem like she was trying to hide it like she knew people would try to look at it. She didn’t mind showing her phone at the Taylor Swift concert though. 

Even since Nic and Jake were seen together, they have been reall quiet, especially Nic. I know she must be working right now, but I know I’m not the only one who felt a certain shift, like her social media presence is no longer the same and she no longer shares a lot with the fans. 

Anyway, I don’t know them and we can all have different opinions and I know a lot of people think Jake is too young for her etc but this is my opinion. All I know is they’ve gotten reallll close for two people who have only met this year. 

even if they had met prior to this year I do agree they have hung out quite a bit recently since we had no knowledge of him in her orbit prior to March

i am still not convinced they are anything more than friends whether he is gay, bi or straight

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by DOUGLAS GREENWOOD (@douglasgrnwd)

here are some friends photos from that trip to Spain and he is def giving a vibe in them

Also scroll this man's grid and see if you find anything interesting

Overall I will say you have given a compelling argument but I'm not sold

Anyone else have any thoughts?

[bengiyo]

Last Twilight Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last week, August tried to make up with Day after standing him up on their date. Aon also showed up that day and mentioned that he is participating in a race with his new girlfriend. Day and August started practicing together, making Mhok a bit jealous. August organized a surprise party for Day with the rest of the badminton folks and kissed Day. Unfortunately, August only sees Day as a friend and walked off. Mhok confronted August and then took Day to a rooftop where he then kissed Day as well.

Oh hell yeah! I am so glad we’re not skipping over the kiss aftermath. Mhok is his caregiver, so this is going to immediately change things.

I love Porjai. Got her all worked up just to tell her what she already knew. These two are my favorite exes of the year.

“I didn’t say it.” Well he’s technically not lying.

This show is excellent. August is leaving, so we’ll deal with his mess and then eject him in the first part!

Despite being mad at August last episode, I’m really glad these two get closure. Friend break ups are worse than romantic ones.

They used “delulu” as a translation! Who is on the sub team for this show?? I want to send them flowers!

“That’s so fast.” I love Gee.

“About last night…” Don’t get me started, y’all.

Alright. That rejection in the car hurt my feelings.

Ope. I’m back. Day told on himself and Mhok is back in the game.

Mhok fixed the headband. I love you and your unsubtle metaphors, Aof.

Okay, I love Mhok blaming the shoes August picked for them not being able to sync.

I’m glad Sea is actually an athlete, so he doesn’t have to fake a cramp.

Night definitely notices how comfortable these two have gotten with each other.

This bed scene was probably super easy for them. Sea is always falling asleep easily on set.

OMG they’re stayin gat Mhok’s place before the event.

Porjai said, “Really, in front of my sardine salad?”

Namtam is actually so good. I like the way she uses her eyes.

Mhok planted jasmine at his house!!

She’s naming the baby Mee because Mhok has been practicing reading the book! I’m going to explode.

This show is doing a great job of making me miss Rung.

We have hit on a rare trope I love: Two people who are working out their feelings for each other are sharing a bed and hearing others go at it through the walls.

I’m glad we’re seeing more of Night. Mark is so good at communicating without saying much.

Oh, Day, don’t read too much into that conversation. Mhok’s friend is just looking out for him.

Shoot your shot, Porjai!

I am with Mhok. That’s enough games. Let’s make it clear.

Aof, please continue to be unsubtle. I love you.

Porjai and Night begins! Look at me rooting for hets in BL again.

I’m gonna lose it. Mhok is acting out Aon’s proposal for Day.

I see we were having too much fun. Let’s crank up the angst.

Look at them trying to assuage us with this PPL.

Beach trip next week! This was a lovely episode. It’s so smooth.

[aristocratic-otter]

Welp, I wasn't going to post today...but then I realized that the final chapter of Heart in the Well will go up before Sunday, and that'll render the excerpt I carefully picked out obsolete by then. So I scrambled to pick bits from my other stories just so I could post this one excerpt. Go me!

The good news about Heart being done? I've got a new WIP plotted out that I'm super excited about, but I wouldn't let myself write anything until one of my WIPs finished. So next week or the week after, you should see the first words from that fic, a very very angsty Watford era canon divergence.

In the mean time, thank you to : @monbons, @messofthejess, @rimeswithpurple, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @best--dress,

@nausikaaa, @youarenevertooold, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @artsyunderstudy, @j-nipper-95, and

@facewithoutheart for the tags over the last two weeks. I'm having so much fun reading and watching your stories and art. This is such an incredibly talented fandom, it's endlessly inspiring. Plus, I get to meet some of you soon when I see Rainbow in August!

Here's my teasers for this week:

Here’s one from each of my official WIPs

From Saving Simon Snow: 

I shake my head now, thinking about it. I’ll just have to keep close to Simon, or at least, as close as he’ll allow me. At least my vampire anatomy gives me an advantage there; I can listen to what’s happening with Simon from three rooms away (I won’t, unless it’s a matter of his safety. It’s a gross invasion of his privacy otherwise) (fortunately, I had to learn to tune out the chatter of my peers by my 2nd year at Watford, or I would have gone mad). 

From the Heart in the Well

He looks back at me and then frowns. “Well, come on then,” he says, impatiently. 

“Come on, what?” I say, exasperated. The water’s up to my breastbone now, and I’m starting to feel a little panicky, so my voice comes out higher pitched than I’d like. 

Now, he rolls his eyes. “I need your tie,” he says as if it were obvious. It was not obvious. “Take it off, please.” At that, I shiver a little. I never thought there’d be a day where Simon Snow would be telling me to take off my clothes.

From Snow Fox: Penny, learning you can’t go home again (especially if you’ve signed on with the Snow Fox)

I step onto the road and walk briskly towards the house I grew up in. I can tell when I’ve been noticed. Several heads swivel my direction, and the murmur of conversation in the camp ceases. I keep on as if I haven’t noticed however. As I draw closer, I nod distractedly at some of the boys nearer to my path. They don't nod back. They’re watching me with narrowed eyes and I shudder internally. What do they see when they look at me?

From TikTok Dancer: Quite a bit racier than what I usually post, but still Tumblr legal, I think

Years from now, if I, for some odd reason, try to explain how my first time having sex felt, I won’t be able to. There’s no describing it.  I’m planning to get a degree in words, for fuck’s sake, but right now, all language has left me, sailed back to England probably. I’m left with caveman grunts and desperate whines. Every particle of sensation in my body has gathered between my legs, and every atom of will I have left is devoted to an attempt to meld my body with his. I’ve almost succeeded–we’re nearly one creature now, moving in frantic, panting unison. 

From Stars, Flowers, and Children,

I know he’s been looking for me. I know he’s probably forgiven my great sin. He shouldn’t. Forgiveness requires that the person who receives it is contrite, is sorry for what they’ve done. 

I’m not sorry. I’d do it again today, if the circumstances were the same. 

Even being estranged from the only person in this world that I care about is still better than the permanent separation that would result if we were rescued. 

I believe that we’ll be friends again someday. Some day when the pain in my chest and stomach have dulled. And that day is worth waiting for.

From Cupid’s Shield:

I’m left gaping at where he just stood. It’s suddenly clear to me how much of his vampire abilities Baz has been hiding, because I was looking right at him. 

I never saw him move. 

All I know is suddenly he’s above me, and my arms are above my head and prisoned to the bed by his hands clamped around my wrists. I’m so stunned that I don’t even struggle. 

His knees are on either side of my hips, and he’s staring down at me like I’m his next meal. 

From my COBB project:

I know I should be worrying over tomorrow, and what my team will face out there. And I will be worrying over that—tomorrow. Tonight, I’m far more worried about the hours ahead. Hours of, once again, sharing a room with the only man I’ve ever loved. A man who’s never looked at me as anything other than a posh prick. 

That’s my fault, of course. It could have been different, all those years ago, when we first met at Watford Uni. I was excited, back then, to meet my roommate. Excited, and nervous. I freely admit I’ve had a privileged upbringing, and this would be the first time I’d ever shared a room. 

My childhood was mostly lonely, so I didn’t mind the idea. I’d thought it’d be nice to always have someone nearby to talk to. 

Of course, everyone knows how that turned out.

As others have said recently, please let me know if you no longer want to be tagged and I'll take you off of my tag list. Unless I hear otherwise, I assume you're like me, and like to hear from people even if you're not feeling like sharing yourself.

Tags and cheers to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,

@frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @melodysmash,

@moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee,

@tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix,

@shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @angelsfalling16,

@noblecorgi, @hushed-chorus, @whatevertheweather, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @mooncello,

@wellbelesbian, @ic3-que3n, @shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  @cutestkilla,

@theearlgreymage, @alexalexinii, @prettygoododds, @blackberrysummerblog, @bookish-bogwitch,

@Iamamythologicalcreature, @emeryhall, @larkral, @ileadacharmedlife, @thewholelemon 

[a-big-apple]

ok locked tomb fam, we’re getting closer to october and the original release date for Alecto, and i’ve been seeing an uptick in anxious/aggravated fans in the tags wondering when we’ll get any new info. waiting is very hard, i feel it too, so i wanted to share some things i have gleaned about publishing through a masters degree and a decade of bookselling!

the book is not coming out in october. the marketing would have started months ago if it was—and there’s no way that the final book in a series as on the radar as TLT would have less marketing than the previous books did. the galley isn’t out there yet either, as far as i’ve seen. i think a fall or winter release is extremely unlikely at this point.

book publishing, for the most part, is not willy nilly. marketing has to thread the needle between starting too early (risking losing the attention of the casually interested) and starting too late to build a good buzz. release dates have to take into account what other books are coming out at the same time—not just what Tor is putting out, but likely what their parent company, macmillan, is putting out. i know this is capitalism at work, but this is the system we live in: they don’t want similar or similarly big books in the same company or imprint competing with each other, it can hurt sales all around. 

Tamsyn said in an interview back in december ‘22 that Alecto was written, but editing had not begun yet. editing takes a lot of time, and marketing steps are frequently linked up—announcing a release date hinges on how close the book is to being ready, especially since the original release date is no longer applicable, and getting books ready for print takes a lot of time and a lot of steps!

the biggest times of year for book releases, especially highly anticipated books, are Oct/Nov before holiday shopping starts, and Mar/Apr/May. obviously that’s not true for every book, but this is a big book for Tor, and big books get better spots in the release calendar. if i had to make an educated guess, i would wager Alecto will probably come out in spring ‘24, and we won’t start to see announcements or marketing until after the official release of the Nona paperback on Sept 12. again, this is sales driven: news about Alecto could muddy the waters for the Nona paperback and impede sales, especially since there’s new content in there. i think it’s likely we’ll hear something a little later in the fall.

i’m not as plugged into publishing as i used to be, so i am fully prepared to be wrong about any of this—it’s just assumptions based on what i’ve experienced of the book industry.

either way though, a point i want to make is that nobody at Tor is witholding information from us maliciously. there are a million moving parts in making and marketing a book (and i’m sorry, but huge Hollywood movie releases that are topically resonant but not actually related do not have any effect on publishing schedules). most of those moving parts are human beings: Tamsyn, trying to tie up the series under enormous pressure, still during a pandemic; her editor, who has other books to edit at the same time, and surely wants to do this work justice; Moira Quirk, hopefully, bringing her genius to recording the audiobook; copy editors, designers, marketing people, all of whom are people, many of whom are overworked and underpaid in an industry that is largely not unionized. 

they’re not trying to fuck with us. i understand where these impulses come from, but getting angry, begging, pestering, none of that is going to change the plain fact that you can’t market a book until you have an almost-ready book, and Alecto is one that Tor will want to put the best tactics and timing behind. be patient a little longer. fuck corporations and capitalism, but have empathy for the individuals who will put Alecto in our hands from within a very flawed system. Tor has a long and successful history in speculative fiction publishing, they know what they’re doing.

[mayson-jarz-artz101]

Umbrella Academy Rewrite

Episode one: The World We Knew (Over and Over)

April 5th, 2019

The Hargreeves family have just arrived in the brand new timeline. They argue on where to go, with Viktor saying they should try to stay together. The siblings eventually all go their separate ways and the camera fades to black with text appearing on screen saying February 17th, 2028…9 years later.

The camera pans over the city and then shows the siblings living their daily lives with “The World We Knew (Over and Over)” by Frank Sinatra playing.

Luther has a closeup shot when a pencil floats past his face. As the camera pulls away and turns around, he is shown to be floating upside down and wearing a blue suit with a NASA symbol.

A closeup shot of a police badge moving back and forth. The camera zooms out to show Diego running in a police uniform. He then catches up to a criminal and he tackles him to the ground. He places his hands behind his back and handcuffs him. Diego forces the criminal up and puts him into the back of a police car.

Allison is shown on a red carpet, flashing lights everywhere. She then turns and faces the camera, holding a bottle of laundry detergent. She puts on a fake smile and starts talking, doing an ad read.

Klaus walks out of a room and the camera focuses on a plaque that says “Dr. Ryans, psychologist.” It cuts back to Klaus putting on a new pair of blue surgical gloves and a new face mask. He then walks down the street and into another building where the camera leaves him to focus on a sign saying “Alcoholics Anonymous.”

Five is sitting in a car, fixing up his suit and tossing a folder into the glove box. The folder is shown to say “CIA: Confidential” written on the front. He picks up a picture of his husband and three kids. He smiles and puts the picture into his coat pocket. He gets out of the car.

Ben is wearing an orange jumpsuit and sitting down at a table with other inmates, playing cards.

Viktor is playing the violin in a bar called “White Violin.” The song fades out into a violin cover and then stops.Viktor sets the violin down and thanks the patrons for coming tonight. Viktor gets down from the stage and goes over to the bar where his wife, Bella, serves him a small glass of whiskey.

———————————————————————————

Bella: Good job tonight, babe. Everyone’s so happy..

———————————————————————————

She smiles as Viktor chuckles

———————————————————————————

Viktor: Yeah..it feels good seeing everyone smile..thanks for..encouraging me to play again. I kind of missed it..

Bella: Well, of course..you needed something to take your mind off everything else for a bit.

Viktor: “Everything else?”

Bella: Yeah..I see you staring at the picture of you and your family when we went to Five’s wedding. I know you miss them..

Viktor: Yeah..I guess I do. We just don’t see each other as often as we should..we all live in different places and we’re always so busy. But…as long as they’re happy. I think we deserve it after everything..

———————————————————————————

A phone on the bar started to ring. Viktor gets up and heads over to the phone. He answers.

———————————————————————————

Viktor: Hello?

Luther: Hey, Vik! I was wondering if you were gonna head down here for Grace’s birthday party…I know you’re all the way in Canada but…It’s been awhile since the family got together. It..It would be nice if you came.

Viktor: Oh..I-I don’t know if I can, Luther. I mean, I’ve got the bar, we’re still cleaning up after Valentine’s Day..I don’t think I’ll be able—

———————————————————————————

The phone gets ripped away from Viktor.

———————————————————————————

Bella: We would love to come, Luther. Send us the details and we’ll be there. See you soon, big guy. Bella hangs up the phone.

Viktor: Bella!

Bella: What? It’s been 9 years, Vik. Your family wants to see you…and I’m sure Grace wouldn’t complain about seeing her Uncle Vik, hm?

Viktor: I-I guess not. I mean, I don’t think she remembers me. Diego probably doesn’t talk about me a lot.

Bella: Quit being cynical and go start packing. I’ll close for the night.

———————————————————————————

Viktor sighs

———————————————————————————

Viktor:…Alright. I’ll trust you on this, Bella.

———————————————————————————

We cut to the outside of an arcade when a white minivan pulls up. Lila gets out of the car and opens the trunk. Another car pulls up behind her and starts honking. Lila freezes in place. She marches over to the car and knocks on the window. As the woman rolls the window down, Lila leans in and looks her directly in the eyes.

———————————————————————————

Lila: If you touch that horn one more time, I’ll disconnect your brain stem.

———————————————————————————

Lila then reaches into her pocket and pulls out a party hat. She puts it on the lady’s head and says with a strained smile “It’s my daughter's birthday. Have fun.”

———————————————————————————

She goes back to her car and pulls out some grocery bags and a cooler. Her eldest daughter, Grace, gets out of the car with her younger twin sisters and an older Stanley, who is on his phone. They all run into the arcade. Lila struggles to close the trunk but manages to do so. She walks inside and sets the groceries on a table. At that moment, Diego walks in, still in uniform. He walks up to Lila and goes to hug her.

———————————————————————————

Lila: Woah, Daddy Pig, Why’re you still in uniform? I thought you said you were going to be in “civie” clothes.

Diego: Sorry, a 10-31 came up..Dude kept running but I caught him. I had to drop him off at the station..I didn’t have time to change over. But hey, I look cooler in the uniform.

Lila: Yeah, well, your fly is down, cool guy.

———————————————————————————

Diego looks down only to see it is in fact, not down.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Hey—

Lila: Made you look.

———————————————————————————

Lila chuckles

———————————————————————————

Diego: Oh, whatever, you.

———————————————————————————

He chuckles and shakes his head.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Say, did you get the piñata? No party is complete without one.

Lila: Yes, I got the damn piñata..it’s over there, I haven’t hung it yet..

———————————————————————————

Diego looks over. That isn’t the piñata from the store he had asked earlier.

———————————————————————————

Diego:…Is that the one from the east side store? I told you the ones on the west side are better…that one is basically impossible to destroy.

Lila: well…the east side store was closer. It’s fine, it’ll still get the job done.

———————————————————————————

Lila walks off.

At that moment, Luther walks in with his wife, Mallie, and their five kids. Luther walks up to Diego and they bro hug.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Hey, bro! Good to see you again, glad you could make it.

Luther: Oh, yeah! We were really excited to come here. Y’know, Dimitri loves hanging out with Grace so..we wouldn’t pass up the opportunity.

Diego: I can’t remember all of your kids, man. You need to lay off Mallie. I turn around for a second and suddenly there’s two more kids.

———————————————————————————

Luther smiles happily.

———————————————————————————

Luther: Well..What can I say? We’re happy. Maybe we should have two more…bring up the next Umbrella Academy.

Diego: Oh, god…an Umbrella Academy full of Luther’s. I think I had a nightmare about that once.

Luther: Shut up. Anyway…Look who I got out on a day pass.

———————————————————————————

The camera panned over to Ben leaning against the wall, as far from the party as he could.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Dude…you brought that asshole to my kids birthday party? He’s a criminal! He’s…He’s not even our Ben. He’s like the..shitty knock off Ben.

Luther: Hey, Hey..Dad—

Diego: Luther. Don’t.

Luther:…A certain man adopted all of us. Even if it's a different timeline…He’s our brother, in a way. He deserves a chance. Plus…it’s not like he killed someone. He got arrested for doing what you used to do.

Diego: What I did was different. I actually trained. I was an actual hero. Not some diva thinking I was.

Luther: Diego, come on. Let him. Lila was a crazy spy..yet here she is.

———————————————————————————

Diego sighs and rubs his eyes.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Fine. But he stays away from my kids. And the alcohol. It’s my booze. I paid for it with my legal money.

———————————————————————————

Diego walks away. Luther heads over to Ben and hands him a canned soda.

———————————————————————————

Luther: Hey, Buddy. Having fun?

Ben:…Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.

Luther: Sorry…you kinda get used to it after doing it for so long. But, seriously…you having fun?

Ben: Prison is more fun than this.

Luther: Well..tomorrow, you get to go back.

Ben: Either way, you’ll still find a way to bother me.

Luther: Of course, I’m your brother..it’s what we do.

Ben: You’re not my brother. My brothers are dead. The only one here is Jackson and it’s not even him.

Luther: well..yeah. I get it…you’re not our Ben either…but you’re still our brother.

———————————————————————————

Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes.

———————————————————————————

Ben: Whatever…

———————————————————————————

Ben walks away and the camera cuts over to Five walking in with his family.

———————————————————————————

Five: I’ll try to stay as long as I can, Jack…I just got a lead in my case.

Jackson: I know, but your niece doesn’t see you that often and I’m sure she’d be happy to. Also…these are your siblings.

Five: I know, I know.

———————————————————————————

Five kisses his cheek and walks over to Diego. He leans over a railing.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Five, good you could make it…hey, did your boss get my resume?

Five: Uh…I wouldn’t know. I’m not his file keeper.

Diego: I’m telling you, he’s not gonna regret it. I’ve been awesome as a cop.

Five: Yup…so I’ve heard. Y’know how the others have been?

Diego: Well…I’ve seen Allison on tv. Seems like she isn’t doing too bad. Klaus…Jesus, that guys rough. He was an alcoholic druggie…an alcoholic druggie cult leader…a sober idiot…now he’s a massive germaphobe.

Five: A germaphobe?

Diego: Yeah, big time. He lives in Allison’s basement…I don’t know how Beatriz handles it. He’s got a kid now, too.

Five: I’m sure that kid will be just as sane.

———————————————————————————

The camera cuts to Klaus walking in, pushing a stroller. Next to him are Beatriz and Claire. Klaus stops and looks around. He takes out a box of gloves and masks and replaces the ones he’s wearing.

———————————————————————————

Klaus: Hang on, Claire-bear, let uncle Klaus get situated…arcades are known to be the filthiest places on earth..next to dive bars and movie theaters.

Claire: I..don’t know where you get your info from, Uncle Klaus. It’s gonna be alright…I’m…sure your brother knows how weird you are. So he’s prepared.

Klaus: yeah, I suppose so…here, don’t forget your hand sanitizer..and your mask. And gloves! And remember, stay and arms length—

Claire: —away from everyone, I got it..don’t worry.

———————————————————————————

Claire walks away and goes over to Grace and gives her a hug. Klaus panics a little bit but Beatriz pats his back and tells him it’s okay.

Theon walks in with Emme, the Swedes and Fei. The Swedes set some gifts onto a table and Emme walks off, going over to Stanley.

Viktor walks in with Bella. Viktor gives Diego a hug and they start chatting away about life.

A montage starts playing of everyone having a good time at the party.

Stanley and Emme put mentos into peoples sodas, running off and laughing.

Lila goes outside to get something from the car. She notices Allison and heads over, noticing her smoking. She takes it from her and takes a smoke, smiling. They talk a bit before going inside.

Luther helps the kids hit the piñata.

Ben is still standing against the wall, but Five joins him and they have a small talk.

Klaus is happily talking with Lila and Theon’s family, with Theon sitting next to them, clearly embarrassed.

Diego brings out the cake but Luther accidentally bumps into him, causing him to drop the cake. Diego looks up at Luther and stares at him. As Grace lets out a scream of “MY CAKE!”, Lila appears, holding another cake.

———————————————————————————

Lila:…What? This family is a disaster, I planned for this.

———————————————————————————

Diego laughs and he takes the cake from her, setting it on a table. He puts candles on it and Grace blows it out. He helps Grace cut into cake to give everyone slices.

As the night goes on, the party slowly comes to an end, with everyone saying their goodbyes and giving hugs.

Five goes over to Jackson.

———————————————————————————

Five: Hey…sorry, but I can’t head home after this. Something came up with the case…

Jackson: Alright…just be careful, Five. I don’t want you to die in your god awful disguise.

Five: What’s wrong with my disguise?

Jackson:…the fake mustache. The name. “Jerome”…come on, anything is better than that.

Five: I’ll run it by you next time, then. I’ll see you later tonight, okay?

———————————————————————————

Five kisses him and walks out to his car. He gets in and he puts on his disguise. He drives to a building and walks in, looking around.

A woman walks up to him and grabs his shoulder.

———————————————————————————

Lila: Hey, big boy.

Five: Li—

———————————————————————————

He noticed her name tag, “Nancy.”

———————————————————————————

Five:…What are you doing here?

Lila: I’m interested in what they have to say. Aren’t you?

Five: Whatever. Just…stay out of the way.

———————————————————————————

Five leans in and whispers.

———————————————————————————

Five: I don’t need you compromising my mission.

———————————————————————————

Lila leans in too, whispering.

———————————————————————————

Lila: Nor do I.

———————————————————————————

She smirks and takes him over to some seats. They sit down and the lights dim. A projection appears on a screen, showing a picture of an open upside down umbrella being held by a sparrow.

Five looks at the screen, slightly confused. How do they know about the sparrows? The umbrellas?

As he ponders, a man and woman walk onto a small stage and stands in front of a podium.

———————————————————————————

Woman: Welcome to our weekly meeting…it’s so good to see all of you here. We’ve got some old faces…and we have some new ones. For the new friends, my name is Jean…and my husband is Gene Thibadaeu. We study various possible timelines. Now, please, give a round of applause to our newest members, Nancy and Jerome.

———————————————————————————

Applause fills the room and then dies down.

———————————————————————————

Jean: Lovely to meet you both..

———————————————————————————

She gives a warm smile. Lila leans over to Five and whispers.

———————————————————————————

Lila: She seems like a sweet old lady.

Five: So did the handler.

Lila: Touchè…

———————————————————————————

Gene clicks a button on a remote, changing the slide.

———————————————————————————

Jean: As many of you know…we have been collecting relics for a very long time. Relics of other timelines. Most people don’t believe us…they think we’re crazy. But as you see here…Carriages with umbrellas and birds. Little figures wearing similar uniforms and masks, one of which has tentacles coming out of his chest. Two masks, a blue bear and a pink dog.

———————————————————————————

Five whispers to himself

———————————————————————————

Five: Hazel and Cha-Cha…

———————————————————————————

Gene presses the button again.

———————————————————————————

Jean: There have been no records of any of these existing. Anywhere. But today…me and my husband bought a new piece. Some of you may know the movie “Love on Loan.” A romantic comedy, nothing special..but the one we bought stars a different actress. A woman named “Allison Hargreeves.”

Gene: You heard her right. The very same Hargreeves who owns half of this city. We checked all official records…this man has no known children or family, nor does his wife. And this Allison woman doesn’t exist either. So…who is she? Why was she replaced?

Jean: Good question, Gene. We believe…she was from another timeline. One that was destroyed in “the cleanse.”

———————————————————————————

Gasps are heard around the room. Five and Lila look at each other. Five whispers to Lila.

———————————————————————————

Five: what’s “the cleanse”?

Lila: hell if I know, I just got here.

———————————————————————————

Jean coughs and looks at Five and Lila.

———————————————————————————

Jean: Very chatty, Nancy and Jerome. Perhaps you’d like to share?

———————————————————————————

Five stands up.

———————————————————————————

Five: Yes, actually. I’d like to know what this “cleanse” is. I’ve never heard of it.

Jean: why…it’s the very cornerstone of our little group here. We believe that at some point, every timeline that exists…is destroyed. And each timeline will collapse until we are left with the perfect one.

Five: And what is the perfect timeline?

Gene: Not this one, if that’s what you’re getting at. You and I won’t be around to see it…but our other versions will be. They are. They’re living their lives right now, not a care in the world.

Five: How do you know?

Gene: We’ve seen it, boy. Visions…we can’t deny it. And the cleanse is coming…and it’s coming soon.

Five: I..see.

———————————————————————————

Five slowly sits down again. Jean and Gene continue their presentation. As time passes by, the presentation ends and everyone begins to leave the room. Lila and Five look at each other and get up to leave. Gene steps in front of them.

———————————————————————————

Gene: Good to have you two here. So..inquisitive. That’s good around here. Questions give you answers and answers give you satisfaction. I hope we’ll be seeing you at the next meeting…

Five: You will. Don’t worry.

———————————————————————————

Five walks past with Lila and goes to his car. He sighs and gets in. Lila gets into the passenger seat. Five looks over.

———————————————————————————

Five: What are you doing?

Lila: Hitching a ride. I walked here, y’know. Ooh, let’s go to a cafe, I’m starved. There’s a good one just up the road.

Five: No. I need to go home, Jackson’s probably worried…

Lila: It’ll be fine. Just go!

———————————————————————————

Five sighs and says “Fine.” He drives to the cafe and they go inside, order food and sit down.

———————————————————————————

Five: so..wanna say why you’re really here?

———————————————————————————

Lila has her mouth full.

———————————————————————————

Lila:…because I’m hungry?

Five: No! Why you were at the meeting. You’re…a mom.

Lila:…and you’re a dad? What’s the difference?

Five: Just answer the damn question.

Lila: I was bored, alright? Can’t just “be a mom”…I was something before…at the commission. It’s hard now…I’ve got to do everything for my family…I’ve got no time to myself.

Five: So…you're using it as an escape. I see…well…you should stop. This mission is bigger than you. I’ve got the resources…this is my actual job. You’re playing pretend. You should go back home before this all falls apart..

Lila: Says you. You’ve got your kids and Jackson..

Five: I know. Sometimes I regret taking the job…but it ensures he lives the life he wanted. And that’s all that matters.

Lila: I guess. Well, I’m done…perhaps I’ll see you next week, hm?

———————————————————————————

She smirks and gets up. Five watches as she leaves. The camera pans out to reveal Diego parked in front of the cafe, watching Lila. He narrows his eyes, angry. At Lila. At Five.

Five gets up and walks out to his car. He noticed a little note on his windshield with the number 5 on it. He takes it and opens it. Written on the note are two numbers. What could it mean?

End of episode one

[sarahwroteathing]

Drabble Request:

Sam, Cantankerous, Icicles

“I’m dying,” Sam announced loudly as he slammed the car door behind him. You frowned but couldn’t afford more than a quick glance as you hit the gas, taking to the icy streets at the highest speed you could manage. 

“Hospital dying or first aid kit dying?” Checking the mirrors told you nothing about any possible pursuit, but you hoped that the heavy snowfall would make you just as hard to follow. 

“I’m soaked to the skin; the muscles in my legs are all cramping from hiding out behind that damn warehouse for four hours; I’m so fucking freezing I think there’s an icicle hanging off my nose, and it was all for nothing.” 

“No one showed?” you asked as Sam cranked the heat up in the crappy little car until the vents started whistling. 

“No.”

You grimaced, taking a sharp turn that nearly slid you onto the sidewalk. The intel had been good. Promising. A real meeting of the creepy minds, people every last branch and shadowy division of law enforcement had been dying to get their hands on for years. You checked the mirrors again. 

“Have you heard from Bucky?”

“Not since we got there.”

You quickly plotted a new route in your head, one that would let you circle back to where Bucky’s borrowed car would hopefully not still be parked. 

“I’m just going to drive by and check,” you told Sam, reaching out to stabilize him with one arm as you took an even more aggressive turn. 

“I’m sure he’s fine. That asshole is probably back at the safehouse hoarding all the blankets and using all the firewood.”

You smiled a bit at the low, grumpy mumble but did your best to hide it. Sam hated being cold. He would have all the attitude of a napless toddler until he found a way to warm up again. 

“Then I’ll make him chop more. Promise. We’re coming up on the alley. Can you check for me?”

You flew by the mouth of the alley, barely slowing, but it was enough for Sam to see clear to the other side, unobstructed.

“He’s gone.” 

“Excellent. Hold on.”

Sam was unfazed by your reckless driving, bracing a hand against the door with a sullen but unpanicked expression. You’d never crashed before, and there was no reason to think today would be any different. This was one of the skills that brought you to the ragtag little team in the first place. 

Once you were safely away from the mission site and driving required much less of your focus, you turned some of your attention to Sam, still shivering and frowning in the passenger seat. 

“Glove box.”

Sam glanced at you for a second before reaching to open the compartment. A spare hat and pair of gloves were tucked inside with three hand warming packets. Without a second’s hesitation, Sam tossed his saturated gloves and hat into the back seat and donned the new ones, tucking an activated warming packet into each palm and shoving the third one down his sweater. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, still frowning a little but not quite so severely. 

“I’ve got you,” you said simply, reaching one hand off the wheel to poke at his, admittedly very cold, nose. “And see? No icicles.”

Sam didn’t answer, but the face he made was so close to a smile that you didn’t let up quite yet.

“I’m not above bribing you into a better mood, you know.” 

“Mission failure doesn’t bother you?”

“We’re all alive, and we all did our jobs perfectly. Whatever went wrong wasn’t on us. So no, it doesn’t bother me. We’ll get another opportunity.”

“Yeah…” 

“But before that happens, we get to go relax. In a home we don’t pay any bills for. With three fireplaces. And an extra box of blankets I smuggled into the trunk.”

Sam perked up a little, finally looking at you.

“And I gave Bucky very specific instructions on where to pick up food on his way back, so there should be lovely, warm takeout waiting for us.”

Some of the tension eased out of Sam’s shoulders, and his head lolled back against the seat.

“Keep talking.”

“You can change out of your wet clothes and into something cozy and soft. And you can take a warm shower before bed. And then fall asleep while I cuddle you with such single-minded focus that you’ll mistake me for a weighted blanket. Or I can be your big spoon. Whatever you want.”

“You’re not messing with me, are you?” Sam checked.

“I would never joke about cuddling. I take it very seriously.”

Sam snorted, winning a triumphant laugh from you. 

“So, do you think you can stay alive for a few more minutes?” you asked, reaching out blindly until he grabbed your hand.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

[keii-starz]

The Waves of the Eternal Sea

PROLOGUE: "A REFUGE"

author's note: so sorry to the people who wanted to read Tourmaline's story, and never got to!!! Instead, I gift you the prologue of a new story of mine to make up for it! It's set in fukuoka, japan! (have this while you wait)

divider by: @/saradika

Slowly losing my breath, I could barely feel like I had the strength and energy to run anymore. I wanted to run away so badly. I so desperately want to just abandon everything and just run away from this situation. School, poverty…barely being able to feed myself…having to put up with everything my mother says to me and every time she has a whole childish tantrum, sometimes for a reason I’m not even sure of. I’m just a kid! What is a twelve-year old like me supposed to do in this wretched situation?!

Though…at this very moment, as I stop to catch a breath and calm down, I realize I’m at the beach I’ve always loved visiting as a kid. A tear trickles down my face, as I recall all the happy memories I’ve had at this place. Somehow, just looking at the sea seems to calm me down instantly. Slowly, I sat down on the cool sand and wiped my tears, quietly enjoying the view of the sea.

Just moments later, I hear steps quickly rushing behind me, steps which sound like that of a small child. Then, that very child bumped into me. 

“--Ah! Oh…I’m so sorry! I didn’t think anyone would be here at this time of the night..”

It was a boy..he looked of a similar age as me…or maybe as tall as the other kids at school would look. I could tell he must have been running away from something, too. Or maybe running from someone. He had a pretty appearance, but his eyes were red, and you could see how wet his face must have been from tears. It was obvious he was crying. It was a sad sight to see.

Looking up at the boy, I calmly said, “It’s fine. It’s not like I own this place anyway. I don’t mind. You’re here for the sea, right? If you want, you can just sit next to me and enjoy the view.”

At least, from my perspective, I seemed calm. The boy probably thought so, too. Without a word, he sat down next to me and started to stare at the sea longingly. It was a strange look on his face, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I had the exact same expression on my face, too. Maybe it was a few hours or so that had passed by, but it had been a long time since we started, and that was when the boy started a bit of conversation before he left.

“...How old are you? You’re smaller than me so you’re younger than me, right? Or you could be the same age as me, maybe. Sometimes people don’t look the age they are. Oh! Speaking of, what’s your name? I'm Shiro Aikawa!”

Shiro seems to be a pretty talkative boy..bright and positive, too. I do wonder what could have happened to him before coming here, but I’m sure it’s not my business to ask. I hesitated a bit before speaking, and looked up at the night sky for a bit, then looked back at him.

“M-my name is Emi..Shimizu, I’m…twelve.” Looks like my nerves are worked up again. Maybe I’m just not that used to speaking with other people yet. I was doing pretty good earlier.

Shiro’s eyes lit up. “Twelve! Woah! Hehe, we’re the same age! I actually just turned twelve today! Or yesterday? I’m not expecting a happy birthday or anything though, it’d probably have ended by now, after all. Plus, I think the sun is rising…”

“I-I see. Happy birthday. E-even though it’s over, I do hope you had a great one. I’m glad you got to see the sun rise, at least” I smiled at Shiro as I wished him a happy birthday.

He scratched his head a bit and chuckled. “Haha…well it wasn’t the best, but probably better than the other ones I’ve had so far. Still horrible, though. But seeing this pretty view and getting to talk to you made it better. I should probably get going now..It was nice to meet you.”

I nodded to him as I saw him slowly disappearing into the distance. I think…I may not be as alone, for now. I hope we’ll see each other again.

Eventually, we would get to see each other often, both upset with their lives, we ran to the sea. Sometimes, we would talk about our troubles, but not all the time. Other times, we would just leave each other alone and bask in each other and the sea’s company. The fish looked so peaceful swimming down there. Perhaps I could dare to even say there might be hope lingering by for the both of us in the future. All I knew, was that the sea…became our refuge.

@angelhairpastawithherbs @the-banana-0verlord @rayisalive @chocodaffodil @xxoomiii @red-viewe @officialdaydreamer00 @eynnwwyjth @cheezy-moon @crheativity

[crinkled-emotions]

Day 25: Secret Santa

Hi hi! This one, again, would have made... so much more sense... had I published on Dec 25th 😂

Ship: Hangster (I'm in such a Hangster mood rn please disregard)

The original prompt:

-

Maverick finished cutting and folding paper then tossed them into his helmet, opening the airstream door and calling out to the Daggers who were floating around the hangar. Hangman, Bob, Payback and Rooster were lying on Maverick’s couches in front of his TV, squabbling about a football game. Phoenix and Coyote were playing table tennis and Fanboy was on a running commentary, earning an eyeroll from the other two. Rooster glanced up from where he was sitting on the floor between Bob’s legs, an eyebrow raised.

“What’s up, Mav?”

“Come grab a piece of paper each; the name you draw is who you’re buying for this year’s Secret Santa.”

“Hangman if I draw your name know you’re not getting anything,” Phoenix said as she climbed over the back of the couch between Bob and Payback, the first one to grab a name from the hat... helmet.

“Please tell me that’s not the one you’re using at the moment,” Rooster complained to Maverick as he reached up to grab one himself.

“Okay, I won’t tell you that.”

“Phoenix if I get you, I’m getting you tickets to the next Longhorns game,” Hangman said as he accidentally tripped over Rooster who was back on the floor after grabbing his paper.

“Getting yourself tickets to the next Longhorns game,” Bob muttered. Hangman smirked.

“Why not, right?”

“Just when I thought you’d changed, Bagman,” Phoenix sighed as she flopped into a spot on the couch. Once everyone had their piece of paper Maverick shooed them off to go back to causing chaos in the rest of the hangar. With everyone else distracted, Rooster opened his paper for a second time and winced. He stood, touching Maverick’s arm in passing.

“Hey, I forgot; I have PT first thing tomorrow morning. I’m gonna head back now and get some sleep beforehand. It’s been great out here this week, thanks Mav.”

Maverick regarded him for a moment, then smiled at him.

“Back still giving you trouble?”

“It never got better after I ejected, but PT helps.”

“That’s good, kid. Keep up with it. Let me know when you get home, yeah?”

“Gotcha.”

Maverick gave him a quick hug and Rooster went over to the rest of the Daggers to let them know he was heading out, earning a groan from Phoenix and a look from Hangman. If anyone could tell he was bullshitting, it was probably those two.

“You good, man?” Coyote asked. He was also so very perceptive when it came to bullshit.

“Fine, it’s just- y’know, I don’t really want to miss PT if it’s the only thing that helps my back, especially because I can’t do my usual gym routine at the moment.”

“Ah, gotcha. Okay man, we’ll probably see you later, we’re all thinking of going out for dinner sometime next week if you’re down?”

“Only if you’re paying, Javy,” Rooster grinned. The two bumped shoulders in good jest then Phoenix gave him a hug.

“Call me if you want to talk about it,” she said subtly as she pulled away.

“Thanks, Tash.”

With that he waved goodbye to the others and got into the Bronco, starting the engine and letting it warm up whilst he connected his phone to the new Bluetooth system he’d managed to connect about a month ago. He took a deep breath, glancing toward the others who were still having fun in the hangar and wondered if they’d figured out what was going on.

-

“That was weird, right?”

Phoenix hummed when Hangman appeared at her side, lining up her next shot on the pool table.

“You and I both know he freezes like that for no reason sometimes. He’d say something if it was serious-“

“-Trace.”

Hangman sent her a look and Phoenix cleared her throat.

“You’re right, that’s wishful thinking. We both know he doesn’t have PT for another week so what made him run for the hills?”

“The threat of commitment?” Hangman suggested, earning a pool cue to the gut. She continued to be a good shot, apparently. The pair glanced up when the airstream door opened and Maverick quietly slipped inside. They exchanged a look, and Phoenix reached for her phone.

“I don’t think they had a fight, we would’ve heard it, but I’m just gonna make sure he’s okay,” she muttered as she typed out a text. Hangman hummed.

“I’ll go see if I can get it out of Mav. He doesn’t go quiet unless it’s to do with a Bradshaw.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Phoenix pleaded. She went back to her pool game and Hangman approached Coyote and Bob.

“Hey, did either of you see when Mav’s mood changed?”

“As far as I’m aware it didn’t-“

“-when we all checked who we had for Secret Santa.”

Coyote was quick to dismiss it but Bob’s wallflower personality had the gossip Hangman needed. He was quick to ruffle Bob’s perfectly styled hair, glancing over his shoulder.

“Hey Phoenix, I got it!”

-

Phoenix: did you fight with Mav? (sent: 1:32pm)

Rooster: no? (sent: 6:30pm)

Rooster: what would make you think that? (sent: 6:31pm)

Phoenix: you pretty much ran out of the hangar and you’re not a runner anymore (sent: 6:32pm)

Rooster: look (sent: 6:35pm)

Rooster: it’s nothing (sent: 6:35pm)

Phoenix: you drove the 4 hours back to San Diego for no reason (sent: 6:40pm)

Rooster: do we really have to do this? I have PT (sent: 6:45pm)

Phoenix: bullshit (sent: 6:46pm)

Phoenix: if it’s not a big deal you would have already dealt with it (sent: 6:47pm)

Rooster: seriously Tash it’s nothing (sent: 6:48pm)

Phoenix: fine (sent: 7pm)

Phoenix: but I’m here if you want to get it off your chest (sent: 7:01pm)

Rooster: I know (sent: 7:02pm)

Rooster: but thanks (sent: 7:03pm)

Phoenix: I got your back (sent: 7:04pm)

-

Hangman had let Maverick go for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, but after dinner and a couple beers he sidled over and flopped onto the couch beside him.

“So; you and Roos have a fight?”

“No...?”

“Just checkin’, he left like his tail was on fire.”

“He’s your boyfriend isn’t he?” Maverick replied, an eyebrow raised. Hangman cleared his throat.

“Don’t change the subject, sir. Something changed when we did the Secret Santa draw; is everything okay?”

“You don’t give up, do you?” Maverick sighed, “but fine, as long as you don’t tell him.”

He reached into his pocket, offering the piece of paper he’d drawn last. Hangman opened it and whistled.

“You got something in mind?”

“Maybe. It’s... I dunno, it’s probably stupid, but-“

“-it won’t be stupid, and you’re not gonna piss him off. He’s come a long way since the Dagger mission, Mav, don’t worry about that.”

Maverick hummed, but his gaze remained on his lap. Hangman gently bumped his shoulder.

“If it helps, I’ll go and check on him tomorrow. I was thinking of heading back anyway, leave isn’t super long this time and I have to do a couple things before they torture me on base.”

That earned a chuckle and Hangman took it as a win.

-

Rooster wasn’t entirely surprised to find Hangman in his kitchen when he came back from his morning run, making what looked like coffee and breakfast. They shared a gentle kiss against the counter, Hangman offering the cup of liquid gold he was drinking to his partner.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” He started. Rooster shook his head.

“I need a shower first.”

Hangman frowned but he slowly nodded.

“Okay; go shower and then we’re going to talk. No slipping out a window, yeah? We’re too old for that shit.”

Rooster snorted, pressing a kiss to his lips before heading upstairs. Hangman sighed.

Hangman: he’s being cagey (sent: 8:45am)

Phoenix: duh (sent: 8:46am)

When Rooster returned, freshly showered and ready for the day, he took the plate offered and the couple went to the dining table. Whilst they ate they made light conversation, planning out what they wanted to do over the next couple of days other than a date night and making out on Rooster’s couch. Their plates quickly became empty and Hangman took Rooster by the hand.

“Babe,” he started softly, “tell me what’s going on in your head.”

Despite popular belief, Hangman wasn’t a pet names guy, he leaned more toward nicknames and variations of callsigns; the way he said babe told Rooster he was serious. Rooster’s gaze fell to the dining table, spotting various stains on the tabletop.

“It’s dumb,” he muttered. Hangman squeezed his hand.

“Probably, but I want to hear it anyway.”

“I got Mav for the Secret Santa. I knew there was a chance, I just didn’t think it would happen. There’s six other names I could have drawn, y’know?”

“That makes sense. You worried about it not being good enough for him?”

“It’s our first Christmas after coming back together; I think I broke his heart last year when I told him you and me were going to Australia for Christmas so I wouldn’t be around. I just want it to mean something.”

Hangman’s brows furrowed.

“I didn’t know he’d offered to have you last Christmas, but it makes sense now. You were unhinged in Australia, honey.”

Rooster snorted. When Hangman stood to approach him he instinctively opened his arms to let him into his space.

“Look, there’s a couple things you need to remember; one, I love you. Two, Mav adores you. Three, you could give him a plain white mug and he’d still treasure it because it came from you, B. He doesn’t care about what he gets, just that you’re there.”

Rooster hummed.

“You know this is why I keep you around, right?”

“Oh; so it’s not the great sex?”

“That too.”

-

Christmas Day rolled around and the Daggers plus Penny and Amelia gathered at the hangar, sharing a meal and playing football on the tarmac. Amelia had quickly integrated herself into the group of adults around her; as much as Penny was a great mom Amelia found that she also liked talking to Phoenix, a great role model for younger girls like her. Penny and Maverick sat back to watch them hand in hand, exchanging a fond look when Bob tackled Payback and everyone cheered for him.

“He’s come a long way,” Penny said. Maverick hummed.

“It shows in the air, too. He’s always had confidence in the air but it’s only grown-“

“-oh, no, I was talking about Rooster.”

Maverick’s gaze tracked around the group, finding his godson with his boyfriend. Amelia approached them and Rooster smiled at her, leaving Hangman’s side to listen to what she had to say.

“I’d say he’s finally found peace,” Maverick agreed. Penny squeezed his hand.

“Have you?”

“Who knows.”

Amelia came running to the two adults, tugging at Maverick’s hand.

“C’mon, Rooster wants to do Secret Santa.”

“Oh, does he?” Penny teased, exchanging a look with her partner. Maverick hefted himself out of his seat.

“We better not keep him waiting. Go round up the others, Amelia.”

She took off to the others, yelling for them. Penny bumped Maverick’s shoulder.

“Do you want to tell me why you’ve been so cagey lately?”

“Me? Cagey? Just trying not to get myself sent to another foreign country, Penny,” he replied. She gave him the look, the same one he’d just seen Hangman give Rooster, and winced.

“I got Rooster for Secret Santa and I’m a little worried about what I got him.”

“You’re worried he’s going to throw another temper tantrum? I really don’t think he’s got it in him anymore, honey.”

“I know... I think. I don’t want to risk it.”

“Okay, well, Hangman’s here, Phoenix is here, I’m here. We’re not going to let him ruin Christmas if that what he feels he needs to do.”

Penny squeezed his hand and they went to join the others who had gathered around the Christmas tree toward the back of the hangar.

-

“Phoenix.”

“Thanks, Amelia.”

Phoenix took the wrapped present from the younger girl, watching her hand the rest of them around. Rooster’s came as a wrapped large box, whilst Maverick’s was flatter but more rectangular. The others tore into theirs but it took a minute for Rooster and Maverick to pull off the paper. Rooster was the first to pop open his box and he immediately tossed the box on to Hangman’s lap to give Maverick a hug.

“I didn’t know you kept it,” he muttered. Maverick breathed a sigh.

“I found it last week, thought you might want it back.”

“What is it?” Phoenix asked Hangman, who reached into the box and produced a tiny airplane toy. When Rooster returned to his side he took the toy back, keeping it close to him. Hangman frowned but chose not to question it at that moment, instead flipping open the envelope he’d been handed.

“Oh, would you look at that! Longhorns tickets. I wonder who did that?” He said in a way that told everyone exactly what had happened.

“How the fuck did you draw yourself?” Bob groaned at the same time the others laughed. Hangman smirked.

“I’m just that good, Baby on board. I’m so good, in fact, that Rooster-“

“-open yours, Mav, before I have to cover Amelia’s ears,” Phoenix pleaded. Maverick gently opened the box and his eyes softened.

“All these years I thought I’d lost it. Where did you find it?”

At first the team assumed he was talking to Penny, but Rooster was the one to speak up.

“A couple weeks ago, I was cleaning out the Bronco and I found it wedged in a really weird spot. Never noticed it before, thought you might want it back.

“Guys, being mysterious is fun when you’re not pushing sixty,” Amelia groaned. Penny gently swatted her arm whilst the others laughed. Maverick rolled his eyes, holding up what looked like a keyring that had seen better days.

“I bought this when Bradley was born. I don’t believe in luck but this thing went everywhere with me and it kept me safe. The one time I didn’t have it, well... we lost Goose that day and I searched for it every day after. I had no idea it was in that damn truck of his.”

The others went quiet, Hangman reaching subtly for Rooster’s hand between them. Finally, Rooster cleared his throat.

“You never told me that.”

“I know, kid.”

“Is that Tasmania?” Phoenix blurted, standing from her seat and gesturing vaguely toward the desert outside the hangar doors.

“What does that even- oh. Yeah, goddamn, that looks like it! C’mon guys.”

Hangman followed along, gesturing with a (not) subtle head tilt toward the hangar doors. Everyone but Maverick and Rooster made a swift exit, giving them a moment to themselves.

“I’m really glad you could be here this year, Bradley. I’m not upset about Australia, you do know that right?”

“It’s good to hear it,” Rooster confessed. Maverick hummed.

“Let’s start fresh in the new year, huh? Stop running and try talking?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They shared a look, then laughed.

“I can’t believe you still had it,” Rooster muttered.

“Always. Thought you might want it back, give it to your kids some day.”

-

“This is a real cockblock, Roos. I’m trying to get laid and you’re staring at that toy?”

“Shush, Jake.”

Rooster lifted the toy to the tent light, showing a crack in one of the wings. Hangman huffed, making himself comfortable against Rooster’s shoulder and sending him a look.

“Why are you so hooked on that toy?”

“My mom said it was the last thing I got from my dad. We went to see him and Mav at TOPGUN and it was only a couple days later that he...”

Rooster cleared his throat.

“You know the story.”

“Wow... what’s the crack in the wing from?”

“I cried for, like, three hours. I was playing with it in the park and some older kid took it, stepped on it, then called me a baby. I was six. It took Mav and mom about an hour to fix it, but when they went to give it back to me I was hiding under Mav’s leather jacket and sobbing. Apparently the crying stopped the second I had it back.”

Hangman laughed, reaching up to press a kiss to his lips.

“That’s adorable; I’ll be telling Phoenix that one later.”

Rooster hummed, finally tucking the toy into his backpack and using his body weight to flip them.

“Sorry, you said something about getting laid?”

“Tell me more,” Hangman grinned.

-

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 3878

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Mention & Insinuations of Sex, some angst, Cussing, Tattoo, Highly Sensitive Person (HPS) discovery for OC

----------------------------------------- Chapter 15

Over the next couple of days, things seemed to fall into some sort of routine for the five of them. Dean and Maria didn’t avoid each other, but they’d gotten verbally snarky with each other.

There was more than one occasion where someone would have to remind them to be civil to each other, which they did. When Dean’s phone rang on that third day near noon, he begrudgingly answered it.

“Hello?” he groaned, annoyed at the last comment Maria had made.

“So, where I am supposed to meet someone? I’m in Lebanon,” the man on the other end said.

“Dad?” Dean asked, sitting up in his chair.

“Yeah son,” John told him, and Dean could tell that the man was smiling.

“Meet me at the diner in town,” Dean told him, smiling a little himself.

The other four looked at him, but he didn’t say anything, just grabbed his jacket and keys before he left, leaving them wondering what had been said. They had a vague idea as to the gist of the call, John had made it, finally. They’d still been looking for a way to kill Azazel, wanting to do more than just send the demon back to hell. If they just sent him back to hell, he could just come back to earth to possess a different person, starting his antics all over again. 

An hour later, Dean and John pulled into the garage. John was impressed and Dean was smiling, happily as the two made their way into the war room, then the library, “So, I hear you have some intel on yellow-eyes. Dean wouldn’t tell me anything till we were here,” John said as he stood at the end of the tables in the library.

“Nice to see you too Uncle John,” Maria chuckled.

John chuckled a little in return, a bit uneasy seeing Sam, and the girl next to him, remembering how the two had parted ways a few years back, “I’m just glad you’re okay. You went off radar for a while.”

She smirked, “I wasn’t the only one,” she replied a bit sassy.

“I had my reasons,” John replied.

“Yeah, so did I,” she retorted back.

Damn the girl had gotten mouthy, but he couldn’t help but smirk and chuckle a little, “Alright. So, what’s the news?” he asked.

“His name is Azazel, and he’s a night of hell, or a prince of hell, depending on the lore,” Sam explained.

“Oh, and we’re all getting tattoos,” Jess added.

John ignored the part about the tattoos, “Any luck on finding a way to kill him?” John asked, more serious than before.

“Not that we found yet,” Bobby told him.

“I might be able to help on that front then,” John said, smiling a little.

That got all their attention, “We’re all ears,” Bobby said, and they were all hopeful at this point.

“There’s a legend, or at least that was what I thought it was. A Colt. Back in eighteen thirty-five, when Haley’s comet was overhead, same night those men died at the Alamo, they say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter. A man like us, only on horseback. The story goes, he made thirteen bullets. This hunter, used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. They say this gun, can kill anything,” John explained.

“Kill anything like supernatural anything?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. I think I might have tracked it down, to a hunter who might have it,” John replied.

All of them were hopeful at this point, “Tattoos first, then we’ll work on getting it,” Maria said, feeling hopeful for the first time since she’d learned the demon’s name.

“I’m not getting a tattoo,” John chuckled.

“If I have to get one, so do you John,” Bobby grumbled.

Maria grabbed the book with the anti-possession sigil in it, showed it to John, and explained the importance of it. John was not happy but also knew that it was a good way to protect all of them. When Maria saw the comprehension cross John’s face, she smiled, triumphantly. 

“Alright kid, you win. When we doin' this?” John asked, still not keen on getting a tattoo.

“I’ll set it up for tomorrow, give you some time to settle in,” Maria replied, proudly as she moved into the war room to make the phone call.

Dean gave John the tour while Maria made the call, setting it up for when they opened, at nine the following day. Jess had already talked her into getting the tattoo in the same place that she was. Dean and Sam had opted for their chest, near their heart. Bobby on the other hand had decided on his back, over his shoulder, which John would also choose. Maria pulled out chicken for dinner, letting it defrost in the sink until it was time to cook, in a few hours. She felt more than hopeful now. They knew the demon’s name, and now, there might be a way to kill it. They’d also found a summoning spell in one of the books, plus, they had a dungeon to hold the demon in.

Maria was humming to herself as she moved around the kitchen, gathering what she would need for dinner when Dean stopped in his tracks in the doorway, Before she could look over at him though, John moved past him into the kitchen, looking around. That pulled Dean to his senses, putting on that cool guy facade again. John was thoroughly impressed with the bunker.

“To think, Will kept this a secret,” John said quietly, still in awe.

“He was a Men of Letters, or was until before I was born,” Maria said without turning from her task of putting spices on the counter for the chicken.

“Looks like I’ve got a lot to catch up on,” John chuckled.

“Well, I’m gonna get dinner started and can fill you in, if you want,” Maria suggested, “Unless of course, Dean already filled you in,” she said that last part with a smirk as she glanced over at him, letting him know she knew he was there.

He rolled his eyes before he went back into the library, annoyed. John sat down at the kitchen table, “So, what’s up between you two? Still rivals?” he asked, bemused. John knew how Dean felt about her, but it wasn’t his place to bring it up.

“He’s a jerk and yes, we’re still rivals,” she replied plainly, which made John chuckle.

Maria explained what her father had told her in the letter she’d found on her pillow that first day, leaving out the weird stuff about her, that she still hadn’t gotten around to facing. John was fairly impressed and decided it might be nice to have a place to call home again. The thought of being able to be rid of the demon who had killed his wife more than two decades ago had been his only goal since then, even if he had wanted more for his boys than this kind of life.

“I heard about what happened between you and Sam. There’s still time to patch things up,” she suggested as she put the chicken in the oven and turned to look at him.

“That kind of thing works both ways,” he told her.

“So, be the bigger person and understand he’s an adult,” she replied bluntly.

John chuckled a little at her bluntness, “After we take out yellow-eyes. How’s that sound?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “If it were me, I’d do it before. You never know how long you have, being a hunter. It’s not like those that have gone up against Azazel have survived,” she told him, making a point he couldn’t find an argument to.

He took a deep breath and sighed, looking at the table in front of him, “That was a low blow, but I’ll let you have that one, and… I’ll think about it. That’s the best you’re gonna get,” he said quietly.

Maria shook her head and got busy peeling potatoes, annoyed at how stubborn John was, which Dean had clearly gotten from him, although, in a way, so had Sam. John went to the garage and grabbed his bag before looking for a room to at least sleep in for the night. He was still debating staying there, especially with the unspoken conflict between him and Sam. Maria waited till she was working on the gravy before she hollered for Sam, who looked confused when he entered the kitchen.

“What’s up SIs?” he asked her.

She didn’t look over at him, not right away, “You and your dad, you two can patch things up,” she told him.

“Sis…” he said, not wanting to have this conversation.

“I’m serious Sam,” she stated as she turned around, “It might take being the bigger person for once, letting shit go. I know you don’t hate him and you’d be devastated if he died, so don’t lie to me,” she stated, narrowing her eyes a bit, then sighed, “We’re going up against Azazel. He killed both my parents, your mom, and who knows who else he is gonna try to kill to get to us. All I’m saying is that… you have an opportunity, to have a better relationship with your dad, just in case.”

He said nothing, just absorbed her words. She had a point and part of him hated that. Sam grabbed a beer out of the fridge before he went back into the library, lost in his thoughts. Her words had hit him fairly hard. Neither Jess nor Bobby pushed him. They could tell he needed time to think, even if they had no idea what was going through his head.

Dinner came and went and the six of them sat in the library, drinking and sharing stories again. Jess and Maria were looking forward to getting their tattoos in the morning. The guys though, not so much. The girls showered after dinner, shaving their nether regions so that the tattoo could only be barely visible above their jean line, leaving plenty to the imagination of how far down it would go. Maria was having second thoughts about where she had agreed to get the tattoo but knew there was no backing out of it now. 

In the morning, the girls dressed in loose-fitting sweats and went commando for the tattoo, none of the guys knew. Well, Sam knew about Jess’s, but not Maria’s. She was keeping that to herself. Maria found Jess in the kitchen, up just as early as she was, the coffee pot had just finished.

“This is gonna be so much fun,” Jess told her excitedly.

“I’m not sure I can go through with this,” she replied nervously as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Oh come on, don’t wimp out on me now.” Jess pouted.

Maria groaned a little as she sat down across from her, “It’s just… that’s a really sensitive area, that’s all.”

“Yeah, but if you ever end up with a guy, he’ll find it hot as hell. Trust me,” she winked with an insinuating tone.

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t have time for a guy.” Jess chuckled, “Maybe after this whole demon business is done, you might,” she said optimistically.

Again she groaned at the thought. She had spent her entire life being a hunter and wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stop doing it after Azazel was taken care of. She really didn’t know anything else. The guys joined the two of them almost an hour later, looking a little nervous, which made the girls chuckle.

-----------------------------------------

Dean almost burst through the door when he heard Maria let out a pained, quiet scream that sounded also like a groan. He’d already gotten his tattoo and it was tender, but he wasn’t letting on. The girls had been behind that closed door for almost a half hour now and the brothers were trying not to worry. Sam was smiling though, knowing where Jess was getting her tattoo and he couldn’t wait to go exploring to see it all. 

“Remind me to never let that girl talk me into something like this again,” John groaned, joining his sons in the lobby area of the tattoo parlor.

“What’s the matter Dad, don’t plan on getting any more tattoos?” Dean teased him with a smirk.

He ignored that as he joined their gaze on the closed door, “Those two still in there?” he asked.

“Yeah. Sounds like wherever they’re getting theirs, it’s tender,” Dean answered, trying not to sound concerned.

“They’ll be fine,” John chuckled.

Just as Bobby joined them, the door opened. Jess was laughing while Maria was glaring at her a bit, “I’m never letting you talk me into something like that again,” Maria told Jess, feeling the skin where her tattoo was burning a bit, which was normal.

“Just put that burn cream on it like the lady said and you’ll be fine, baby,” Jess teased her before she went over and had an intimate moment with Sam, not even caring that the others were there, “Can’t wait to show you later,” she whispered in his ear.

“Looking forward to it,” Sam smirked.

Dean just rolled his eyes but the adults chuckled. John realized how much his youngest son loved that woman and that was enough for him to decide to be the bigger person and put the past aside. 

“I’m so glad I didn’t drive here,” Maria groaned.

“Rethinking the whole tattoo thing?” Dean teased her as he smirked.

“Shut up,” she growled before she went outside.

The others just chuckled to themselves as Dean found her response amusing. There were only a couple options for driving back, Dean’s Impala or Bobby’s little beat-up car, neither of which were appealing to Maria at the moment. They joined her outside moments later, all of them but Dean went to Bobby’s beat-up car, leaving her to sit with Dean. She glared at Sam who just shrugged with a smirk before he got in Bobby’s car.

“Looks like you’re riding with me sweetheart,” Dean smirked.

Maria looked more than annoyed but got into the passenger seat and crossed her arms, doing her best not to slam the door of the Impala. The car hadn’t done anything wrong and she didn’t want to take her annoyance out on it.

“Don’t call me that,” she said somewhat coldly when he got in the driver’s seat.

Dean made a mental note of her reaction. He figured if he couldn’t talk to her normally, he’d at least find ways of annoying her. It wasn’t the attention he wanted but it was amusing nonetheless, “Alright Sweetheart,” he told her, that damned smirk plastered on his lips again.

Maria didn’t even look at him as she attempted to sit so that the sweats she was wearing didn’t rub against her tattoo. However, the moment he started driving, she felt every bump in the road and made plans not to leave her room when they got back until her tattoo healed. She couldn’t even understand how Jess wasn’t bothered or in pain, let alone had made plans to be intimate with Sam that same night. Give her demons, werewolves, vampires, even ghouls any day of the week, but a tattoo in a very sensitive area and she turned into a baby. She put on a hard outer shell though, not wanting to let Dean see that she was weak.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Dean told her with a smirk as he drove down the one-lane paved road.

She looked out the passenger window, arms still crossed over her chest, “No,” she replied, flatly, but annoyed.

That made Dean raise an eyebrow, more curious than ever about where she’d gotten hers, “What’s the matter, not up for a little show and tell?” 

“Drop it, Dean,” she told him in a low growl, which only made him chuckle.

The moment he parked, she was out of the car before he could even turn off the engine, grabbing two beers before she locked herself in her room. Maria carefully slipped out of her sweats and grabbed one of her oversized shirts out of her dresser, changing into it. However, the bottom portion of it brushed against the tattoo, causing her to push her ass backward before grabbing the shirt to hold it off of her.

“Never again,” she grumbled as she sat down on her bed, carefully. 

Maria put some of the burn cream on it that the tattoo artist had given her, which gave some much-needed relief. The tattoo artist also explained that Maria was more sensitive than most, so it would probably cause her more discomfort than her friend. She popped the beer and took a decent drink out of it when she heard a knock on her door.

“You okay in there?” Jess asked her, trying not to chuckle as Sam was behind her, kissing along her neck.

“I’ll be fine, but I’m never doing that again,” Maria grumbled.

“You gonna come out of there?” Sam asked her.

“No,” Maria replied flatly.

“Dean’s cooking tonight. He’s making burgers. So, at least come out long enough to eat,” Sam chuckled as Jess teased her fingers along his back.

“Would you two just go get a room already and let me be,” Maria groaned, leaning back on the headboard.

“Stop being a baby about this. The tattoo was your idea,” Sam told her, doing his best not to chuckle at her behavior.

“It may have been my idea but your girlfriend out there is nuts and I’ll never let her talk me into anything again,” she grumbled.

All that did was make the two laugh as they walked to their room, leaving Maria to lick her wounds. She could take a beating from a monster but that tattoo had hurt more than any wound she’d ever experienced before. At least the burn cream was helping a little. 

Dean couldn’t resist retrieving her himself. He really wanted to know where she’d gotten her tattoo. Once he was done cooking, he knocked on her door, “Dinner’s ready Sweetheart,” he told her with a smirk as he leaned against the wall next to her door.

“Go away Dean,” she groaned.

“Come on, it’s just a little tattoo,” he pushed.

She could hear the cockiness in his tone and it was annoying her, “Just leave me a plate outside my door,” she grumbled.

“If Jess can come out to eat, so can you,” he teased her, which pissed her off.

The moment she stood up, her shirt brushed against her tattoo, and she inhaled deeply as a pained groaned escaped her lips, “You’re an ass, you know that,” she snapped at him as she carefully slid her sweats back on.

“And you’re being a baby,” he quipped.

“Fuck you,” she muttered under her breath before she unlocked and opened her door. Seeing him there with that smug look and a smirk to match made her want to hit him.

“Awe, what’s the matter Sweetheart?” he asked, more to annoy her than anything.

She pushed him so that his back was against the wall as she forced herself to walk normally, not wanting to give him more ammunition to annoy her. He just laughed a little before he followed her, wondering why she had to look that good in sweats. The others were already sitting at the kitchen table. Maria barely kept the grimace off her face as she sat down, adjusting quickly so her sweats and thighs weren’t touching her tattoo, at all. Most of them caught it and chuckled silently, mostly because getting the tattoo was her idea.

“You alright there kid?” Bobby asked her, raising an eyebrow, sounding amused.

“I’m fine,” she answered, shortness in her tone, which made Dean smirk again.

“Leave her alone Dean,” John told him, noticing the smirk.

“What?” Dean asked innocently as he sat down on the other side of the table.

She glared at him, almost daring him to say something or look at her the wrong way. Due to the burn, she was ready to go off on him. John just gave Dean a look before they all served themselves. Jess found her discomfort hilarious, knowing it would only last a few days while it healed. Whether Maria wanted to admit it or not, Dean was a really good cook. She kept the annoyed look throughout dinner, not giving him the satisfaction of a compliment on the meal. There was some conversation but she stayed out of it, tuning it out due to the burning that had returned to her tattoo. It was quite the turn of events since when they were younger, he had been the one refusing the compliments on her cooking.

“You gonna help clean up?” Sam asked Maria, his face contorting a bit as he did his best to attempt to keep from smiling, let alone laughing. Jess had told him where Maria had gotten her tattoo.

Maria glared at him so badly that if looks could kill, he would have been dead ten times over. That was when Dean lost it laughing. Luckily Maria was done eating. With every ounce of stubbornness she had left, she got up and stomped off to her room, not even flinching at how badly her tattoo burned. It wasn’t until her door was locked behind her that she almost crumbled, carefully removing her sweats before sitting back on her bed as she had before, applying more of the burn cream. A sigh of relief left her lips as she leaned her head back on the headboard.

The way they had messed with her was just how their family was. It was all in fun. She was more annoyed at herself for being so sensitive down there than anything, something she wouldn’t have known without the tattoo experience. She also vowed to never again let Jess talk her into anything else like this, ever again. Maria glanced at the book on her night table. She hadn’t moved it since the night she had set it there and debated reading it. She had no plans of leaving her room anyway, not until her tattoo healed more first. 

“Not tonight,” she sighed quietly before climbing under covers.

That was when she realized that sleeping was going to be an even bigger issue for her. How was she supposed to even get comfortable and not let anything touch that spot? Then she remembered the little bit of gauze the tattoo artist had given her for the first night. She carefully climbed out of bed and pulled it out of her sweatpants pocket. Maria applied a little more of the ointment before applying the gauze bandage, sighing at the feeling of relief. Maria had been too distracted by the pain to remember everything that the tattoo artist had told her and hadn’t been in the mood to ask Jess. She wasn’t in the mood now either, but planned on asking her in the morning, or whenever she rolled out of bed.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 16

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