#we will jump that hurdle when we get there i guess lmao

[daretobeking]

word wip game

rules: you will be given a word. share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

I was tagged by the wonderful awesome @froggishg who has withstood many bricks through their window (midnight messages of concepts) for me. My word is FORGOT

-

Forty-six in Normandy. Twenty-two in Holland. Fourteen in Bastogne. Five in Foy.

-

Of course, rocketing around on a motorcycle and crashing into – whatever the fuck he hit – and he still had barely a scratch on him in comparison.

-

Roe didn’t look back up at him when he responded, carefully tucking his rosary into his pocket. “Well you’re not dead yet, George.”

-

George watched him as he felt his own words slowly sink into his chest and clog his throat, like they were trying to drown him.

-

Oats laughed as he turned to shoo the pair out of the tent, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight. “Yeah, yeah. You’ll be in my shoes soon enough.”

-

The joke was almost automatic in the way it tumbled out of his mouth, like a bird out of a nest, like a man out of a plane.

(I know you've already seen the first one I don't have a lot of sentences starting with F so far :( )

@coolcattime @doc-roe-gave-me-rabies you two were the first people to come to mind, no pressure though <3

your word is PROTECT have fun besties :}

[actualbird]

wahhhh zak i just read ur poly hc / artem dickdown post and im screaming hollering crying about it. he. he is so. //chefskiss. but im also just lmaoing abt vyn and marius (the Most Contentious) being down to clown before everybody else bc its like. yeah obviously theyre close enough to be in a relationship w 3 other people so theyre In Like Or Whatever but the idea of these 2 specifically talking about feelings is. almost incomprehensible to me theres almost no way they can lay off each other without a 3rd party to mediate they must have like. a couple weeks of really good but incredibly repressed and funny but like RUDE sex before mc gets in there at which point theyre both like. //clears throat mlady would you like to sit on my face- NO NO, i INSIST that you sit on MY (neither of them has seen pussy in 84 years)

-🦝

irt nxx polycule monumental sexual frustration boogaloo, n/s//f///w text below

huwwo, raccoon!! im glad u enjoyed that post and yes, artem is very much. He is So.

kbjJKBSJBGKDGKSJ U R RIGHT THO LMAO.

i picked marius and vyn to whore it up immediately because like, their personalities fit for that, theyve been whoring it up since the beginning in gosh dang canon. so the moment the polycule is established, those two r fucking as soon as possible.

buuuut marius/vyn is probably the nxx pair ive thought about and written the LEAST. like, i understand these dudes when theyre platonic, but when theyre romantic it....gets a bit hazy in my mind. like yep yep, exactly, SO FUCKING CONTENTIOUS, THE TWO OF THEM. thanks to both of their whole "the world is cruel and i must protect myself from pain" shtick, theyre always either on the offensive or defensive. which makes for the hilarious bitchfights we see in canon but also a pretty sizeable hurdle to jump over, irt to a deeper relationship.

i guess them being romantic (and thus talking about feelings) would just have to follow along the vein of how ive written marius and vyn platonically. first, the bedrock of respect. then getting to know the other's flaws/dreams/hidden feelings. and also they find each other hot. and want to bang about it.

i love ur hc so much tho and IT MAKES SENSE. like even after the nxx polycule is established, marius and vyn, even tho they love each other dearly, still have the tendency to revert to the bitchery of days gone past. it's fun! it's nostalgic!

.......and sometimes it's sexy!!

THEY GET SO RUDE AT EACH UR RIGHT. it's not even like, a degradation kink (tho i do think both marius and vyn DO have that, but it's not whats happening here). theyre both just snappy assholes (affectionate) towards the other and it makes both of them happy to see the other person happy, even if it's at their own fucking expense kJBJSKG

mc, walking into this disaster: YOU TWO FUCK LIKE THIS??

KJBKJSDKGSDKGKDS NEITHER OF THEM HAVE SEEN PUSSY IN 84 YEARS!!! SCREAM!!!! mc can deffo use that to her advantage, methinks.

mc: boys, behave and stop being mean to each other for five minutes, or else neither of u are gonna get a chance to eat me out >:(

marius and vyn: //suddenly they are angels

[daggryet]

i am still over her begging for c!jack to just talk to c!tommy. actually now i am over here begging for people to just let c!tommy talk. like, we latch SO HARD onto the characters that let c!tommy talk about how he feels and so on. also, lmao, foolish' stream today w/ the lil bit of c!tommy lore and his feelings about c!wilbur makes me wanna shake c!phil. more mature my butt, how much more mature do you want this kid to be?

yeah, and i know that it can be a tough conversation to start, an uncomfortable conversation - but c!jack manifold is a character who has a lot of thoughts, and is so good at vocalising them, expressing how he feels, so if he’d just get over the last hurdle that’s stopping him from confronting c!tommy in a neutral way (may that hurdle be his pride, an expectation of c!tommy not caring, fear of c!tommy not caring) - i think they’d both be able to make peace, make their apologies, move on, be happier.

also mans literally trying to kill c!tommy, i think he should be able to handle one uncomfortable confrontation (though, i guess, it is easier dropping a nuke than actually looking someone in the eye and express just how much they’ve hurt you)

and yeah, it’s crazy how much you could learn about and from c!tommy, about the way he views the world and himself, and just in general about the server, if you let c!tommy speak - and actually listen. obviously he has his moments where he’s a bit immature, when he’s just having fun and living - like today when he spoke with c!foolish, he was talking about how much he’d grown but that a bit of pranking was fun - but when it matters, he’ll deliver some of the most profound lines and world views, if you just listen.

(in general, this server should just normalise having actual conversations and listen to each other before jumping to conclusions and to declaring war and whatnot, one can only dream)

[shinygoku]

Top 10 CSatM Episodes (1/2)

Ahhh, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons...! Probably only Second to Thunderbirds when it comes to the most popular and beloved Supermarination programme, with only Stingray able to compete for that coveted Silver Medal. But for me, it’s my Favourite!

I could go on and on about it, but for now I’ll go over my personal picks for a Top 10, which may give some insight into what about the way the series ticks makes it so enthralling.

Without further ado, let’s jump in! I’m not ordering them by preference, but rather the Episode order as I watched them on my DVDs (tediously the ep listings never seem to be consistent :T) Spoilers for all eps covered! ✂

Winged Assassin

Starting off my Favourites is the 2nd episode of the whole show, featuring a good condensed version of the events of Ep 1 if ya missed it and probably the best explanation on the workings of Retrometabolism that canon media is ever gonna grant us. The plot is fairly straightforward, but what elevates this is the aforementioned Exposition, which feels more organic than it did last episode, the interactions between Scarlet and Blue, and even the shocking twist at the ending, where the mission that had been going so well falls at the very last hurdle, in spite of Spectrum’s best efforts.

One of the most chilling visuals in the series is a surfaced shard of a downed passenger plane floating up from the sea, before the camera pans out to show the duplicated plane flying through the air, and another dark shot later on, of Scarlet’s limp hand with blood running down after he died in the effort to prevent the massive explosion that occurs regardless.

Winged Assassin sets a lot of standards of things to follow; traits like massive collateral damage just as part of the Mysteron’s grander scheme, the close partnership of Scarlet and Blue, Scarlet’s seldom used Sixth Sense and even the occasional downer ending, where the Mysterons manage to sneak a victory in and actually kill or destroy their stated target.

White as Snow

This episode shines a very interesting light on the dynamics between Col. White and Scarlet. It’s obviously one of a superior giving orders most of the time, but in a twist from the somewhat strict nature of Jeff Tracy over his sons who show respect to their father by not arguing back, with these two there’s actually the occassional spark of friction, that Scarlet will voice when he doesn’t like the commands and will only reluctantly go through the motions in the situation. I’m referring mostly to the first Mysteron attack, where a satellite is on a collision course with Cloudbase, but Scarlet unsubtly opposes the plan as there’s the possibility of innocent people on board who would get killed if Spectrum shot it down first. However, he’s overruled... and it turns out that it was indeed a trap, the people on board had been exploded hours ago and what was shot down was a Replicant copy. And that’s just the first half of the episode! But I find it interesting that again, back in Thunderbirds, the call to not remotely destroy something like that on the offchance it was populated would be the Correct course of action, but in this show pragmatism is needed, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Anyway, the episode has another Mysteron attack aboard a submarine, with plenty of tension... but yet, there’s something of a comedic bend to the episode, such as a furious White shouting at the currently dead Scarlet, much to the Naval crew’s confusion, and the scene at the end which I’ve taken the picture from. The weakest part of the episode is probably Blue in charge of Cloudbase, as he doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing and I feel they coulda done more with him. Oh well! At least we got the fantastic music insert, which is also titled White as Snow.

Operation Time

Probably ranking in my Top 3, Operation Time is pretty remarkably both one of the most tension filled... yet an extremely funny episode. I guess some of that’s just due to my own odd sense of humour, though some moments are clearly intentional. Both the operation scenes, the Mysteron’s pursuit of the Doctor, and finally Spectrum chasing the Mysteron!Doctor are all played very suspensefully, and I find myself holding my breath. But then the funny scenes, like everything with Magenta and how hilariously pissy and unsubtle the Fake!Doctor gets leave me in stitches! [pun unintended lol]

I dunno, maybe some of the amusement effect is enhanced by the strong contrast between the scenes. Also we get a very grisly death for the Fake!Doctor and this episode establishes weaknesses for the Mysterons that will come up in future instalments. There’s a lot this ep has to offer, even something of an insight into 60′s medicine (though the series is set in 2068). While an extremely minor point, both the scenes with operations have the pssssshh.....fsssssshhhh sound that I associate with ventilators even though they ain’t being used, what’s up with that? But it’s another thing to add to the Atmosphere so s’all good, man.

Odd that I can’t think of much else to put here, I love it so much but maybe it’s so solid in the couple of things it does that’s all there really is to say? I’m feeling frustrated at how I don’t seem to have written enough for it, but trust me when I say it’s excellent and that it’s absolutely a Must Watch if you’re giving the series a look. (Though again, I’m spoiling each ep covered so uhh... read at your own risk if you’re using this to judge it!)

The Heart of New York

An interesting tale that I’ve actually Heard more than I’ve watched, as the audio adaptation is a free sample on the official Gerry Anderson site! [At least at the time of writing lmao, it’s worth a look anyway. This message was not paid for.]

This story is somewhat unique in that the Mysterons’ plan is pretty tame by their standards. They want to blow up... a Bank. Sure, it contributes to the long game they play, causing disruption and destruction, but compared to the casual massive collateral damage they inflict as part of a more focused murder attempt (again, see Winged Assassin and the passenger plane) this is small potatoes. But still, they end up feeling more moral in this episode than the actual ne’er do wells, a trio of would-be Robbers. These guys are pretty assholish, deliberately using the horrible cosmic war that’s already taken lives in the triple digits to hide behind while they take their pickings from a vault. Captain Black locking these morons in with the explosives feels like poetic justice, that they really did get what they wanted and are punished in kind.

Maybe this feeds the Mysteron’s point, that humans are aggressive, corrupt and selfish... though Colonel White challenges this view at the end of the episode, stating the robbers aren’t indicative of humanity as a whole. The whole shebang is a lot like The Twilight Zone, honestly. All we need is Rod Serling to open and close the episode...

Point 783

This episode is a bit harder to go into depth on, to be honest, it’s not one with a particular gimmic that makes it more memorable, but it’s a very solid ep all the same. There’s still a fair few layers that keep me thinking, like how it seems one of the Methane Trunk drivers had seemingly been Mysterionised offscreen to enable the Mysteron’s main pawns to me made. Then the first attempt to kill the Supreme Commander is thwarted by Scarlet’s (somewhat inconsistant) Mysteron Sense and perspex tubes that take their sweet time to descend and don’t even prioritise the actual target lol

Anyway, the meat of the episode is focused on the guest vehicle, the Unitron implacable unmanned Tank that can be controlled remotely by human operator or programmed to destroy something particular, and it will not stop or slow down no matter what’s thrown at it. Something something Proto-Drone Warfare commentary. The Mysterons’ last big attempt to assassinate today’s dude has one of their Mysterionised guys from earlier become the target, unknown to everyone else until he draws his gun inside the SPV (who even points out the 6th sense didn’t activate!). Scarlet gets shot 3 times but manages to eject himself and the Supreme Commander, which leads to the above scene, which offers a nice, human response.

Mr Supreme Commander later chews Blue out as it emerges instead of Scarlet going to a Hospital within 10 minutes, Spectrum insisted on waiting for one of their Helicopters to pick him up, which took 3 hours. Poor Blue has to try reassuring the army guys that Scarlet will be fine, truuuuust hiiiim. It makes me wonder if Spectrum is making things easier or harder overall by keeping his Retrometabolism under their hats, though I can understand they’d have reservations, but just trying to gloss over it with a ‘no no, it’s fine, he’ll get better.’ type answer doesn’t seem all that convincing. But I enjoy that it’s semi challenged here. And this episode summary ended up longer than expected cause all the Thinking I’ve done, haha!

=======

This has gotten a lot longer than expected and will be Two Parts! Find the second half here~

[dorkylittleweirdo]

stuff that happened at camp part 3

we had comp today so i woke up at 4 in the morning for this shit

i get there at 5:30 bc that’s wHEN WE WERE  S U P P O S E D  to get there but there was one other person there and my dad left me in the rain so i was standing there wet and cold for like half an hour til they unlocked the doors

all the other people felt really bad that they said 5:30 and not 6 and i’m sitting there like >:”/

i forgot my sweatshirt like a dumbass bc i thought it would warm up and it never did

it ended up being ok bc T didn’t wanna wear his so he just yeeted his sweatshirt at me so i got to wear that and i was like TvT

also my lips and fingernails turned blue for a hot minute bc i was so cold but i didn’t feel cold so that was A Time

finally got all the kids on the bus and i got a seat all to myself in the back where it was Warm so i just curled up on the seat in this huge ass sweatshirt hoodie boi and slept for the 2 hours drive lmao

people were like “JC wake up” so i’m like woke and they’re all “comp’s over, we’re back at our place” and i was like “great good thing we’re not” lmao

i placed in everything, 2 first place, one second, one third, so not bad i guess

got my own seat again on the way back and took another 2 hour nap

E threw some gloves at my face and started a War between everyone

got pat patted by a lot of the guards bc i’m The Smallest Assistant and also idc so they just squish my cheeks and pat my head on occasion so it’s great

a small child kept jumping over me like i was a hurdle and i was like “how do you still have Energy please teach me your ways”

[nightslain]

38. because it's seemingly the only thing we hadn't much talked about? lmfao and maybe 11 I guess too lklgkjm

the be honest meme. ��

38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

1. Graphics aren’t everything and are not a measure of quality or authorial competence when it comes to the person and their actual roleplaying. Graphics are simply a veneer to draw the eye that act most of all like the cover of a book–it therefore does not always accurately represent the quality of the story underneath. And that’s not to say all fancy themes are overcompensating or anything; of course we all want our blogs to be appealing to look at–myself included. But I feel it can be intimidating for newcomers to think they have to adhere to these practices, especially if they don’t know how to edit, don’t have the tools to edit or just don’t want to jump those extra hurdles in the first place. You certainly don’t have to! Your writing will speak for itself and draw in potential partners without the need for aesthetic embellishment. And if people do refuse to speak with you just because your theme or icons are plain, then that says more about them than you.

2. Things won’t always just fall into your lap, around here. If your blog is not gaining the reception you hoped for, it’s up to you to either make changes to your writing, attitude, blog or character–sometimes even a few of these things all at once. It’s up to you to reach out to others and make an effort to establish contact, make friends and cast a wider net by following more people or trying to circulate some promotional material. It’s very frustrating to feel ‘ignored’ in the community, but taking the passive aggressive approach of making a colourful array of guilt-trippy posts on the dash about it is not going to do you any favours. You just have to knuckle down and maybe put in a little additional effort. 

3. This is a hobby, not a job, and try not to get swept up in the mindset that you have to crank out a ton of content every single day or else you’re just going to be made redundant by the community. Sounds obvious on paper, but I know a lot of people who do get tangled up in that kind of stressful mentality, which kills all love for the hobby more often than not. Good partners will wait as long as required for an answer–don’t pay mind or even humour the kinds of people that nag, pester or try to use guilt as a means to force you into replying. Curate your partners with some scrutiny and don’t be afraid to put your foot down with people that make your experience miserable.

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

I wish I’d just known to nut up and not take as much shit as I used to back in the old days, as well as being more discerning about who I was roleplaying with or following. I used to have a lot of followers back in the day on my original blog, and with a lot of followers sometimes come a lot of issues if you don’t curate your experience there a little more carefully. I’d follow just about anyone and I often got bit in the ass for it when some of these people started acting up; the worst really being people that would just hound me for attention or get very pushy and demanding with me and my muse–with me being too wimpy to just give them the boot and trying to ignore the problem out of existing instead. Which obviously never worked. I’m a lot more wary about who I follow these days and I am a lot quicker to cut loose when I start seeing behaviour I don’t like. My experience is much more peaceful as a result!

I also wish I knew that the impulse to make 1000 muses would most definitely be a recurring issue and that I would have to be prepared to practise some restraint. Once it occurred to me I could make more than one blog, I fell down a very slippery slope of just making way too many blogs just on a total whim. It’s only been the past year or two that I’ve actually calmed down with this lmao and I want to issue a formal apology to all my poor friends who must have eye-rolled into the shadow realm every time I announced another product of my unstoppable lust for muses. I had even been teetering on doing that yet again with thoughts of picking up either Trevor or Richter after my explosion onto the Castlevania scene, but that has most definitely been put to rest after I gave it some actual rational thought. I’m getting too old and slow to keep up.

TL;DR don’t make blogs on a whim, kids, or you might end up with more than you know what to actually do with and more than you even want to maintain in the first place.

[risingsoleil]

Hello, have no clue if you accept messages but I wanted to ask your advice on how to start writing stories. How do you get over the hurdle and not get embarrassed about your work. I think about writing and cringe at myself. What if i never get better does it matter? If my writing is stagnant would anyone notice or care? How do I jump into writing? What if I accidently make the characters really OOC. i need help or tips please

Hi anon! I think I do accept messages, so if you have more questions about writing, feel free to DM me anytime! This is a great first ask and I have to break this down into several components (so it will be quite long haha)

I've been writing fanfics since I was like 11-ish and I'm about to turn 25 this upcoming weekend. When I started, there wasn't much to be embarrassed about, I just knew I enjoyed writing fanfics and didn't think about how it would be received or critiqued. Looking back, omg it's so freaking embarrassing LMAO I deleted a lot of my fanfics from when I was a kid bc of my writing style, the OOC-ness of characters, the pacing of the story, etc. When i say it was bad, it was bad lol like it's so cringe. I totally understand the embarrassment, but I think if you really want to write, you shouldn't hold yourself back. If it brings you joy, there should be no reason to stop yourself from creating it.

On to a bit more technical stuff, I've been a writing tutor since high school (and I was a writing mentor for most of my undergrad years). You can tell why I'm so passionate about this first ask lol Here are some writing tips that have helped me or I think are extremely useful to writers (academic or fanfics). But take what resonates bc what worked for some may not work for others <3

Freewriting - For all my chapters, I freewrite with a pen and notebook and just write what comes to mind without thinking. It sounds really intimidating bc "omg writing without thinking? how???" It really works wonders because this allows the characters to make decisions and gives really interesting twists to how the story plays out. I always say in my notes "I never expected this!" bc as I'm freewriting, I either had another idea in my head or the idea came about randomly while freewriting. For example, (idk if you're in the Coco or TLOK fandom) one of the character slapped another character and I NEVER thought that would happen. I was freewriting and I couldn't get rid of the image of that character slapping another woman. This is a great method for creativity when you're stuck or just want the ideas to flow easily.

Writing "Machine" - this one sounds odd but it's less technical than you think. It's essentially figuring out what your writing process is. Do you like to sit on your bed and write? Does the temperature need to be hot or cold? Do you drink tea or coffee to encourage writing? Do you write better at home or in a library or cafe? Figuring out what your ideal environment is for writing will help a great deal in inspiring you or if you need motivation.

Beta-readers - Much like how we get peer reviews for academic essays, beta readers are the same thing for fanfics! :) if you're worried about publishing your fics, having a beta reader is a huge help! They give you feedback on what's amazing or could be improved, if the character is OOC, maybe the pacing of the story is too fast or too slow. They are the external perspective that point out areas you miss as the writer. A beta reader might also be helpful in brainstorming! So if you're stuck on an idea and freewriting isn't really helping, then a beta reader can help you with new ideas :)

Practice and progress - I guess we do have a cliche part lol The more you write, the better you'll get. It's like using your muslces, the more you engage, the stronger you become. Writing is a process in itself and as a writer.

We are our own worst critic - I understand the worry about your work not being quality enough or not improving, but I think we're also our own worst critics. Sometimes when I upload my chapters, I'm thinking "omg maybe the pacing was too fast or my characters were OOC ahhhhH!!!!" But then the feedback is positive and maybe they don't notice it? Sometimes they do, but they see it in a positive light. I think we're really hard on ourselves, and you'll prob experience it. Even if you aren't quite sure of the work, your audience won't know that.

Do it bc you love it - Any of your writings should be because you love the idea or story. Your motive shouldn't be aimed at getting only comments on your work--you have to enjoy the process of bringing this story or work to life and the idea of it. Otherwise, your writing and the story will suffer at some point bc you'll be focused on the outcome rather than the journey. If you love what you're doing, you'll attract the right audience who enjoy your work and will give feedback.

I feel like I have more to say and I probably do haha but those are the main things I can think of at the top of my head. This was a great first ask, thank you so much for allowing me to talk about something I'm passionate about <3 If you want more tips or advice, you can DM me. If that's not working just lmk in an ask haha

I hope this is somewhat helpful for you! I believe in you and I'll end with this quote that I live by.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[aro-gant-aro-blog]

much of the struggles aspec people face are directly caused by the lack of information surrounding these identities. and i don’t just mean the hurdles we have to jump — sometimes multiple times — to discover how this label applies to us. this post is specifically about the public response to the aspec identity.

atm the messages we're sending out boil down to 'educate yourself', 'listen to us' and 'change your dialogue'. there's been the discontent and push back against the well meant but flimsy: 'you're valid uwu'. the vetoing of phrases like 'just friends' and 'more than friends' that both minimise and place platonic love low in the amatonormative hierarchy. within our own community those on the aro-spec have been asking the ace-spec to uhhh kindly not throw us under the bus. like that's it! that's all the aspec community is asking for the most part! consider what you're saying and what that may reinforce. the whole 'support us and care about us' is hopefully a given.

and yet i keep getting caught on the thought: 'why would they?' what's in it for the queer community at large to pay attention to aspec people? why would people who are often in a desperate search of romantic love, who have been rejected and shunned for their desires — romantic, sexual, idyllic etc. — why would they have any interest in the lack of that? at the heart of the community what we want most is acceptance and safety for all, on a personal level however much of the queer community are attempting to normalise their love and sexual expression. you get what i'm saying i'm sure: the majority of the queer community, as an immediate goal, are attempting to widen the scope of that amatonormative ideal while the aspec community are attempting to dismantle that reigning amatonormative regime society lives and dies by. for those who don't know what it means to be aspec, who don't know about the amatonormative pressures society enforces upon everyone, our goal can seem irrelevant.

so much of the aspec identity must read as irrelevant to people obsessed (this word is almost too strong but as an aroace person this feels accurate) with romantic and sexual partnership. aspec interests lie beyond that. and that is where i see the more immediate issue. what i mentioned before takes some knowledge of the aspec agenda (you've heard of the gay agenda and found that disconcerting, just fucking wait to see what we aspec have in store lmao). again on the personal level i struggle to see what aspec people have to offer other queer people — i wouldn't even kno where to begin with the people considered ""the norm"" — and tbh i wonder if that this is the aphobia in me. nevertheless the way we orientate our lives, create content and enjoy ourselves will be wildly different depending on our identities. aspec priorities and desires lie in areas such as friendship, self-love or living the dream—whatever that may be. all of which are important to people who aren't aspec of course. however i want you to consider ao3: it is a niche area of self-expression often made by us queer people. and yes i am aware of sample sizing and its relation to the often volatile tumblr but lets not pretend that devalues this topic's importance. what i want you to consider is the stories you have read that incorporate friendship, self-love and living that best life. how often is the MC and story without romantic love and often the added bonus(!!!) of sex?

i say beyond romantic love and what do you think of? we are so used to romantic love being at the top of the social hierarchy that it can be a struggle to grasp something more. how do you alloros like that description? something being described as more than one of things you value most in the world? if i sound like i'm enjoying this its bc i am lmao.

that is what this ultimately comes down to for me: romantic love with sexual proclivities is the highest form of currency in society. aspec people lack currency by that standard. thus the stories we have to tell — both our dear aspec representation and our own day-in day-out lives — lack value.

tl:dr i guess what i'm saying is that the entire queer community is starved for relatable content and love. it makes sense that people search for the love they want and ignore everything else in favour of that. it's just important to remember that beyond a personal level we are within a community, it is important to remember that 'to ally' means to care, to support, and to love.

EDIT: when i said 'queer' that was meant to be inclusive of the LGBTQI+ community but at that time i was bitter about the word queer being taken from me so, yeah, i'm bitter a lot lol

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Italia episode 7 reaction

Edoardo: looking good just by comparison.

Clip 1 - A sandwich and a spoon

This is not a substantial comment but Silvia’s sandwich made me hungry.

So Silvia made out with the famous Rocco Martucci? That was the guy eyeballing her? I guess since we got a visual, he can’t be Italian Julian Dahl.

If I didn’t know better from having seen where the storyline goes, I’d say Silvia does a fairly convincing job of acting like she doesn’t care about Edoardo. You know, except for the part where she’s already making travel plans to accompany them on their vacation.

Lmao, Silvia and Eleonora allowed this spoon sucking to go on when Martino was right there in their faces. I appreciated how awkward this scenario was and that like, none of them attempted to make small talk to distract from Fede’s innuendo.

Clip 2 - Skate park

That skate park looks fun. It kinda looks like a swimming pool that was converted into something else, based on the colors, but I’m assuming it was always a skate park. But on that note, the visuals and colors of Skam Italia are usually great. I’m not going to do an in-depth analysis at the moment but it seems like the majority of scenes are very warm with a lot of brown/orange/yellow, and sometimes they do a scene that sticks out to me because it’s so cool and blue. It’s all rather striking. And of all the remakes, this one is making the most of its setting (Skam Austin is doing some things with the city but I feel way more of a sense of place in Skam Italia than Druck or Skam France).

I like when the Isak character prods Eva a little to tell him what’s up, since I think it fits what Isak is about to do to her in a few scenes, and because I always wonder why Eva didn’t just tell Noora if she was feel guilty - it helps to have the prompt from Isak to get out her confession. That being said, Eva and Martino’s relationship has been established as close and comfortable on its own merits that I can certainly buy Eva opening up to him. They’ve put in the work to make them have a rapport.

Lmao, Martino making that hand motion about Fede and her spoon. Thanks for the S3 teaser!

Tiny thing but when Eva swallows out of anxiety, you can see Martino half out of frame swallow right after she does, like he’s got some conflict on his own. That might not even be a conscious choice but it’s a good acting detail nonetheless. I think I mentioned previously that these actors have known each other for years and it’s stuff like that, the mimicry and feeding off each other, which makes the chemistry more convincing.

Yeah, this is my favorite Eva-Isak friendship after the original by far, so it’s really going to sting when the reveal happens.

Clip 3 - The wall

I’m glad that Eleonora checked in whether Edoardo wrote back to Silvia before she snapped her back to reality. You know, just in case he did.

Also in this scene Silvia still seems stuck in Edoardoland and firmly convinced that he’s into her, whereas I remember Vilde seeming a little deflated and knowing that Noora would not approve of her talking about William when she entered the scene. She’s pretty good at putting up a confident front when she needs to.

I think Silvia’s hooking up with Rocco Martucci was a misguided attempt to make Edoardo jealous and get him back, which is too bad. I wish she was legit trying to have fun or move on. I know for plot reasons that’s not how it goes, but still.

Both Eleonora and Eva were very sweet to Silvia and not too harsh or judgmental.

I really love making it into a wall of conquests instead of the sweatshirts, and I appreciate that Silvia gets to save face a little bit since the sweatshirt is a public “I fucked Edoardo” marker but the wall gets to preserve her anonymity and (some of) her dignity while still communicating that the boys think of the girls as trophies. But I almost hate it, because now I need that scene where the girls paint over or draw or deface the wall in some way, and I don’t think I’ll get it. Give me that thing, Skam Italia! 

For a minute I thought Eva was going to pull out a marker or something and draw over the chart. 

Based off the wall, Rocco Martucci sure has been busy.

Clip 4 - Eva on the phone with “mom”

Federico roleplaying as Eva’s mom toward the end of that phone conversation … I’ve never been a huge fan of P-Chris or any version of this character but this is a detail I often forget and I have no idea why, it’s one of the best things he ever did.

Gio deserves all the roasting he can get about his weed use. It’s nice that he’s being honest about having weed on him, but like … she’s made it clear he behaves like an asshole when he’s high, and that this isn’t some vague ideological problem for her but something based on his past behavior. So some of the banter is cute and all but him offering her some pot, even in a joking way, annoys me more than it should with this dynamic in mind. Dammit, Gio.

Clip 5 - Eleonora goes in on Edoardo

Silvia opening with some random mundane topics was kind of cute - either a bit clueless and rambling, much like her many many texts to the girls, or you can also take away that she was building up to the big news and trying to psych herself up.

I’m glad Eva called Sana on the dignity comment since that always seemed like one of the least necessary Sana comments about Vilde, particularly in this context, and probably just egged her on to confront him.

Silvia didn’t need any convincing from the girls whereas Noora was encouraging Vilde in the other versions. Silvia is dead set on it.

I like how they built up to it with the catchy music that cuts out as Edoardo bursts Silvia’s confidence bubble.

Sooo … Edoardo is still a dick, but maybe less of a dick that William? Who knew?

He still does the fake forgetting Silvia’s name, and his comment about the wall is outright lying but not as personal of an attack. He does laugh more at her which is a dick move, especially in front of his crew. However, he doesn’t tell her she isn’t worth it.

“What were you doing behind the boys’ toilets?” I’m assuming he’s insinuating that she’s a slut? That’s horrible and Edoardo is a creep, but I also have less of a fuuuuuuck youuuuuuu feeling toward him. Because the whole thing about Vilde not being worth it/not being pretty enough plays directly into Vilde’s worst insecurities and body image. And we’ve seen that Silvia has the body image issues as evidenced by her picking at her sandwich. I’m not positive that Silvia has the same hangups about being labeled a slut? She has the hesitation to go upstairs with Eduardo and you could interpret that as fear of her reputation, but she’s also down to make out with Rocco Martucci and stresses that she wanted to.

So while I want to make it clear, Edoardo is being an asshole, and being called a slut is hurtful and misogynistic … I actually will find this easier to forgive than William’s comments. I mean it mostly depends on how Edoardo reacts in future episodes, whether he regrets it or not, how it all plays out, but so far he doesn’t have as high of a hurdle in getting me to like him. Like how is Edoardo going to justify his comments the same way in S2 when Eleonora calls him on it? It’s not the same context. (And again: NOT excusing slut-shaming but I think there may be a difference in terms of how someone with poor self-image might perceive this comment, because “slut” is an insult dependent on behavior, vs. telling someone they aren’t pretty enough which is perceived as a more inherent, unchangeable characteristic. But again, William’s comment directly feeds into Vilde’s ED; how will Edoardo’s comment affect Silvia on a similar level? “Slut” doesn’t have much to do with an ED, at least not in an obvious way.)

Lmao, I feel kinda gross writing anything vaguely positive about Edoardo in this scene, since “not as much of a dick as he could have been” is not a ringing endorsement, but since this incident is a huge roadblock in me liking William in the original version, it’s worth talking about.  

This was also the best version of this roasting in the remakes. Eleonora has the attitude to back up her comments, and Edoardo has some personality in how he responds to her. 

Love that Eleonora got in her comment about his stupid hair as a last dig, but also, Edoardo has the best hair of any of the Williams, IMO.

Clip 6 - Fight

Gio opens his mouth so much for the kisses, damn. I’m not knocking him, I would rather see enthusiastic kisses than a bunch of pathetic pecks, but the dude is like Pac-Man.

Um that bit about the teacher siding with Alice over Federico and making him run laps is really funny, but you can see why it would alarm Eva, because she realizes she’s on the side of the bad guy in this situation. Would the teacher side with Alice against Eva, too?

The fight was brutal! All the girls jumped in to protect Eva. Sana went in with the dictionary, Silvia with the backpack. Eleonora is straight-up snarling by the end. Eva wasn’t even fighting after a certain point, just standing back as her girls defended her. The most heartwarming brawl of all time.

General Comments:

How does Skam Italia have the worst Jonas (outside of Marlon from Skam Austin) and the best William? How?

Listen, I am really not expecting to love Eleonora/Edoardo or Edoardo himself. It’s not a relationship type I’m fond of, he’s not a character archetype I enjoy. But if they can eliminate the worst of his behavior and modify certain actions ... then I can be fine with him and with the ship. I am being very, very hesitant to assume Skam Italia will make enough radical changes just because they did a few things that weren’t as bad; however, I am willing to give it a chance. 

It’s kind of funny because there was a rumor going around that they’ll jump to Martino’s story in S2 instead of Eleonora’s and lmao, not sure how legit that is but of course they would do it for the one remake where I hate the William the least. Not that I’m objecting to the gay storyline getting the spotlight sooner, though I do wonder how they will adapt certain plot elements without the buildup (Eskild’s S2 introduction, Isak’s background storyline of dating Sara and living in the basement).

Skam Italia seems by far the most popular and well-liked of the European remakes, which I can quite understand. Skam France is too much of a copy without much of an individual personality and Druck, though I’ve liked many of the scenes and characters, has a lot of hiccups in terms of production and updates, which is unfortunately turning people off and making the show less accessible. Not to repeat myself too much but: I have some big gripes about Skam Italia but it’s for the most part consistent, is nicely made with beautiful locations and nice cinematography, and has integrated the local culture well, putting its own spin on the material and not being a direct copy. None of the actors have really wowed me so far but there are some likable personalities in the bunch. My hope is that they will keep it up and either improve on the Eleonora/Edoardo relationship, or do a respectful job of Martino’s story, depending on what S2 is. (Even though I don’t want them to attempt Evak 2.0 at all ... but that’s a larger topic.)

I’m not Italian so if I misunderstood or missed something, feel free to correct me. 

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[thank-your-lucky-stars]

Okay here’s a post of THOUGHTS AND THEORIES because every time we get big Robron spoilers I feel like my mind is going to explode and it can literally keep me awake at night (last night was fun…NOT) SO I need to write my thoughts and feelings down to stop them going round in my head, so this is for my benefit as much as anyone else!!

FIRST UP: the spoiler about Aaron telling Finn he and Robert are getting married in Vegas. I mean ????!!!!!!! this is pretty wild, but I wonder if it’s a joke? When will we see them discuss this? Also when is this holiday to Vegas meant to be exactly? I wish Robert had’ve given us a date last night (or maybe he will tonight?) to help with my thoughts and theories fjgshkkkdseyh

SO my thought is that the Vegas trip might not be until March or something, but with all the drama coming up/Aaron getting into trouble with the police, he probably won’t be able to leave the country until it’s all sorted (which might take a while?) so they decide to get married before then (end of Feb?)

Because I don’t think there’s any way Emmerdale wouldn’t show a robron wedding, and that also goes against what we’ve heard about it so far too (for example, this latest interview with Danny he says they’re shooting it next week so that means it’ll be the end of Feb as we suspected shkkdvmdh) so I think we can assume a Vegas wedding is not going to happen?

Which makes me wonder if the trip to Vegas will even happen at all?! Maybe it could be a honeymoon instead?!

Now for the Kasim stuff: I already made a post about how it seems as if Kasim could hold Aaron’s fate in his hands, which could potentially work in Aaron’s favour?? Maybe Robert or Finn or someone gets Kasim to back down, and things don’t turn out too bad after all?? But there will be a couple of weeks of suspense but then maybe it’ll all be resolved, so then Robron can get married at home but then go to Vegas on honeymoon (PLEASE EMMERDALE GODS)

And now for FEELINGS:

I get the Robert lying to Aaron about having a drink with Rebecca is annoying af, BUT I still kinda understand it? From Roberts POV Bex is literally his only friend lmao? And he obviously loves working for Home Farm and all that business stuff, but at the same time he doesn’t want Aaron to be upset over nothing so he tells a little porkie? I’m not saying it’s okay but I also understand why he did it. He is literally doing nothing wrong but he knows Aaron won’t see it that way so he lies (which then means he *is* doing something wrong, but he’s trying to protect Aaron so shkkdvmdh)

But I also get why Aaron is upset when he finds out??? I totally see this from both points of view, so there’s definitely no Rob vs Aaron from me. I GET IT.

Of course I wish Aaron had spoken about his issues sooner, but I also understand why he’s scared and doesn’t want to keep banging on about it.

But I’m glad it’s going to boil over. I wish it didn’t have the repercussions it might end up having, but it’s so desperately needed for the both of them. I’m also glad that Chas points out Aaron’s jealousy earlier in the week, I’m pleased someone else can see what is going on.

All in all I just feel desperately sorry for both boys??? Like I said in that post the other day, they’re both still learning and figuring things out, but this could be one of the last really valuable lessons they need to learn, and one of the last hurdles they need to jump in securing a solid relationship.

I’m still panicking about the wedding and I’m still conflicted about what I think will happen. A large part of me thinks they will get married, because as I’ve said before, this is too big a carrot to dangle in front of us/them just to snatch away, especially for a couple who are so loved and who have suffered so much. I remember back when Kat and Alfie finally got married in EE and it was such a huge relief.

But I also know that soaps can be cruel and they do love a damaged character, and they don’t come much more damaged than Aaron. But surely there is only so much pain and horror a soap can put a character through before realising that they need a break, and need some happiness; both the character himself and us as viewers.

And I’ve said this before that I think ED have a responsibility to show that a victim of sexual abuse can have a happy relationship, and someone who is bisexual can get married and be faithful and happy too.

ED have worked so hard with these characters so I think to destroy their relationship/wedding would be cruel to the viewers/characters but also a disservice to the great job they have done with them until now.

Whatever happens in a year or two is what it is, but I think they deserve at least a year of being stable and relatively happy (I know it won’t be all fun and games forever, and that’s fine, but some happy times are needed at least; look at David after his cancer s/l, things are gong right for him for now!)

I honestly just want them to be happy and married so much???? Even if it isn’t forever, just knowing that they’ve made it for now honestly means so much to me???

The fact there’s even a wedding on the table at all blows my mind, it’s more than I ever imagined could happen between them, and I feel like it’s the last dream on the list.

From the start of their story together, I always had hopes and goals for them - and most of them I never thought would happen. First up I wanted them to actually develop feelings for each other and fall in love - check. Then I wanted Robert to appear really genuine and sincere with regards to his feelings for Aaron - check.

After the affair fell apart, the next goal was for them to be in each other's orbits again. Then to be friends. Then for Robert to show/prove his love. Then for them to get back together.

We got all of this.

Then we had them moving in together, and there were issues we wanted addressed, like Robert's sexuality - things we got in SSW.

And we also happened to get an engagement which is just....sometimes I still can't believe it????

So all of this stuff on my robron wish list (the major stuff anyway) has been ticked off. Of course there are always little things we want and would love to see, but all the major stuff we have achieved (or at least I think we have)

So that leaves the wedding. That's the last thing on my list. Anything after that, for me, is a bonus. Maybe it's because I've always been desperate for a family of my own and I love the idea of marriage and that level of commitment that I want it so badly for them, seeing as I've invested so much of my heart and happiness in them (something else I have spoken about before). But I NEED it. Like I'm so desperate for it that the idea it might not happen is truly horrifying to me.

so yeah....this has taken a turn I didn't expect LOL, I've been writing this forever as I'm bored out of my brain at work and my thoughts are just flowing through my fingertips lmao, so I do apologise for the length of this but like I said four million years ago, at the start of this post, I really just needed to get it off my chest LOL

I guess what I want to say is....KEEP THE FAITH. Let's work together over the coming weeks to keep each other calm and positive. I've spoken openly before about how I have (unhealthily so) used Robron to get through shit, and I know I'm not the only one who has latched onto them in this way, so I know that what's coming up can be really stressful for people.

so I just want to say that I'm here if anyone wants to talk, and I'll do my best to be as positive as I can be! I feed off other people's positivity too so I do think we can all work together to keep the faith and make sure we actually enjoy the quality drama we have ahead of us!

and hopefully at the end of it we'll get a lovely wedding and a happy couple out of it! ❤️