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alexplayssimsnstuff · 5 years ago

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Bella Goth Disappearance FINALLY Solved!

Back in the day, I had originally subscribed to the theory that Bella was abducted by aliens that were set on her by the Caliente’s who then murdered her when she returned, and so I went in the game to do a walkthrough as to how I came to that theory. That’s when I found that I WAS WAYYYY OFF, there is a whole ass rabbit-hole here, and like a total Alice, I fell in it.

And, after 16 years of wondering and imagining different scenarios, I finally found out the truth. Turns out, we were ALL wrong, and the truth has been staring at us in the face the whole time.

Just as a warning, this is VERY dark and bleak and depressing. Bella wasn’t dealt a good hand, guys. What happened to her was all sorts of MESSED up.

Just for clarity, I do base this off of events that happen in the official sims storyline, because while the game is ultimately up to us to live life as we like, go ahead and do whatever with your game, there IS a story being told here, but in a way that doesn’t conflict with our own free will. It’s ingenious, really. This goes with the main Sims games released for PC and Mac. However, the console versions do provide a lot of insight to further details and situations. Specifically the Sims 2 for PSP, and the Sims 3 for the Nintendo DS.

So, first off, it has been verified what happened to her: In 2014, Twitter held an AMA for the SimGurus just before the release of the Sims 4. Someone asked the following question, and SimGuru Sarah responded.

It was later confirmed that Bella Goth of Lunar Lakes IS the Bella Goth of Pleasantview. She does look like the rest of the ghosts there with pale skin and yellow hair and eyes, and with that in mind, you can see for yourself…

That’s her, alright.

Okay, if she died on Lunar Lakes, there are still questions that need answers:

1. Did she ever go home?

2. Does her family know what happened to her?

3. How did she die on Lunar Lakes?

Well, she died of old age, that can be found out easily enough, but I found the answers to the other two: Kinda and no.

So, just to recap, I’m gonna review Bella’s life as we know it canonically.

Bella was born to Simis and Jocasta Bachelor of Sunset Valley. She grew up the road from her childhood best friend, and later, husband, Mortimer Goth, with her older brother Michael. She always had a sense of the macabre and dark and was known as “the best dressed girl in town.” Even then she wore a red dress. A more child appropriate red dress, but a red dress. She just came from an average suburban family who had a fascination for the not average. She’s still a child, and not a Goth yet. She still goes by the surname Bachelor.

Twenty-five years later, she shows up in the Sims 1 with her childhood best friend and now husband, Mortimer Goth, and they have moved into their own home, and have a daughter, Cassandra. Her in-laws moved out of their home in Sunset Valley and moved into what would later become the Goth House of the Sims 2 in the beginnings of what would be known as Pleasantview. Unless you got her a job, she was a housewife, and she was known to be athletic, elegant, and friendly towards her neighbors. I remember her often being the first to come and say hello to any new Sims I’d move into the neighborhood. Her brother, Michael, is also in town, however, there is no acknowledgement of them being siblings. A family tree system didn’t really exist in the Sims 1, and I’m sure they didn’t even think to make them siblings back then, but the fact remains that they have no relationship at this point in time. The only reason why it’s known that Cornelia and Gunther Goth are Mortimer’s parents is because it straight up says so in the bio. That and their names are the same, but anyway.

So far, things are simple.

That’s because in the 25 years between the Sims 1 and 2, a series of events occurs that really makes things interesting.

Michael joins the science career track. One can assume the reason why he settled into domestic living years after Bella had done so was because he was at grad school. Because he was graduated from grad school, he gets a jumpstart in the career and climbs the latter a lot faster than Mortimer does.

1. Scientist Sims contribute an invention into the Sims world. Michael’s invention was cloning technology. He cloned himself, and a test subject: Skip Broke.

a. Even though he died before it happened, arrangements were made so Brandi could be the next test subject and the first female subject, and when you start Pleasantview for the first time, she is pregnant with her own clone. The baby is always born a boy.

b. Michael’s clones have a 100% rate of being male, genetic identicals to those they were cloned from (Brandi’s just being a boy rather than a girl) and so far, a 100% rate of dying at the same time as the original. They are genetically identical, but wear different clothes.

2. Michael and Bella don’t really have a relationship in their adult lives because Michael leaves Pleasantview early on while Cassandra is still a child and moves to the city.

3. Mortimer follows after Michael, and invents the age reversal serum. Bella is the first test subject, and, the day of her abduction, she takes the serum until she reverts back to being a brand-new adult. Probably to allow herself to fit in her red dress as strikingly as she does, I don’t think an elderly woman could pull that off.

4. Cassandra enters private school.

5. Around this time, Gunther Goth dies. Bella, Mortimer, and Cassandra move out of their home and in with Cornelia to be with her in her last stages of life.

6. Michael marries Dina Caliente. It is speculated that, because of the age gap, they only marry for Michael’s money. But it is worth noting that Michael was Dina’s first serious relationship and she didn’t begin to cheat on Michael with Don until years later just before Michael died.

7. Alexander is born.

8. Shortly after Alexander’s birth, Cornelia dies at the same time Michael does.

9. Dina inherits Michael’s estate and moves in with Nina. They then move to Pleasantview.

10. Don follows them and moves the next day.

11. Bella goes to introduce herself to her new neighbor, Don. They get along, and Don gets the wrong idea and puts the move on Bella. Bella rejects him. He then runs off to go be with Kaylynn and is not there when Bella is abducted by aliens.

12. Bella is never seen again, but shortly after her abduction, a UFO crashlands in Strangetown, and reports that Bella is in Strangetown start rolling in. But, spoiler alert, that’s not the real Bella.

Then, after Bella’s abduction and before you start Pleasantview for the first time, the following happens:

1. Mortimer and Dina hit it off rather fast, and marriage is definitely in the picture when the game first starts.

2. Cassandra, Mortimer, and Alexander all age up on the same day 2 days after Bella disappears.

3. Cassandra goes to Don’s house to find out what he knows about what happened to Bella (jack squat since he wasn’t there) and that’s where they meet for the first time. Don tries to seduce her, probably not knowing who she is, and Cassandra, as much as you gotta love the girl, is naïve as all hell and thinks she won the jackpot and falls for Don quickly.

4. Alexander goes to private school

5. Mortimer retires

6. Cassandra gets engaged the VERY day the game starts.

That is an important thing to note because people like to speculate that Don had something to do with Bella’s disappearance because he made the moves on her mother and they were engaged and he didn’t want to jeopardize that by Bella opening her yap. This is NOT the case because Cassandra was still a teenager when Bella vanished. Don may be a hoe, but he isn’t a pedo. Chris Hansen doesn’t need to be called for this one.

Another important thing to point out is that it’s not known if Dina and Nina knew Bella. At least, not well, since it can’t be established if Michael and Bella had a relationship at all. Despite the fact that they were friends when they were younger, Mortimer has no memories of Michael, and neither do Cassandra or Alexander. They never met their uncle.

ALSO, yes Dina and Nina do have alien ancestry. Their father was a result of an alien abduction pregnancy. But he was born human, so they’re not part alien. Which means they didn’t order ANY aliens to go and kidnap anybody. Why would they? They don’t know her. Not even normal alien sims do that, y’all are just racist.

It’s also worth noting that Mortimer is COMPLETELY fine with Bella being gone. He’s not heartbroken and he isn’t desperately trying to find her like the game tries to suggest. He’s strangely cool about it.

Why is Mortimer fine with Bella being gone?

Because they are no longer married and haven’t been since around the time Alexander was born.

And THAT, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, is the BIGGEST part that y’all need to just remember. If you can only take one thing away from this part, take away the fact that they’re divorced. It’s S U P E R important.

Now, it is possible to bring Bella back with the Tombstone of Life and Death. She’ll only stick around for a short while because she has a death token that activates when you save the lot, go into Pleasantview, and reload the Goth House. She’ll disappear. Interesting to note that if she’s in the middle of doing something, like talking with a sim or cooking food, she doesn’t disappear completely until she’s done. She does turn see-through and it kinda glitches out…it’s really creepy. Give it a try, you’ll see what I mean. But when she’s done, she’ll disappear, and you’ll get a notification saying she died somewhere else and her spirit has returned to where she was buried.

However, if she dies this way, you cannot resurrect her with the resurrect-o-nomitron. It doesn’t matter who tries it, where they are, or anything. Grim acts like he doesn’t know anything about Bella being dead and even if the Sim COULD resurrect a sim, Bella is not listed.

Since we know Bella is buried in Lunar Lakes, this means she died sometime between the week of her abduction and Cassandra’s wedding where the game starts.

However, while you have Bella in your household, you’ll find she’s brought back with no personality points. She has no memories besides what happened to her children after the first load of Pleasantview. So let’s say that between loading the game and bringing back Bella with the Tombstone, Cassandra gives birth to twin boys. Bella will come back with memories that Cassandra had twins, and she will even know who her grandchildren are. (I use this example because in my most recent Pleasantview playthrough, Cassandra had twin boys named Hendrick and Caspian with Don Lothario.)

Bella will have NO relationship at all whatsoever with Mortimer. You can see before you bring her back on the Goth family tree that they are not married at that point, and Mortimer and Bella start their relationship over as acquaintances. If you let them progress their relationship naturally with no cheats, they actually fight a lot and do not get along at all.

Now, any townie and NPC created before Nightlife will have their turn-on and turn-offs randomized. But it seems to constantly make it so that Bella is never attracted to Mortimer and Mortimer is RARELY attracted to Bella. This is a consistent thing. Interesting to take into consideration.

It’s clear to me, at least, that there were some problems boiling up for some time before Bella vanished.

--they get divorced at around the same time Alexander is born

--they do not get along at all

--Mortimer is completely fine after Bella’s disappearance and isn’t the frantic husband he’s marketed to be at this point in time.

--Mortimer gets into a relationship with Dina Caliente extremely soon after Bella vanishes.

--If Bella does come back and Mortimer is still alive, they naturally do not get along at all.

Which is weird, right? They were always shown to be this desperately in love couple who couldn’t live without eachother. I remember them having a good relationship in the Sims 1.

Also worth noting, Bella is a romance aspiration sim. In the Sims 2, they tend to hoe around a lot. There are a few other adult sims in Pleasantview who are also romance aspiration sims.

1. Don Lothario (the epitome of the romance aspiration)

2. Nina Caliente

3. Daniel Pleasant

4. Skip Broke was also a romance aspiration sim when he was alive.

What is interesting is that while for the most part, romance aspiration sims like to hoe around, there is one exception to this rule so far: Nina Caliente. Nina Caliente’s only romantically involved with Don Lothario. Unless you have another sim start putting the moves on her, then it’s a whole other story. If it were a thing back then, Nina would have been a soulmate romance aspiration while the others would have been serial romantic aspirations.

Bella COULD have been the same way, but that wouldn’t make any sense with the myriad of problems with her relationship with Mortimer.

So, in conclusion, Bella had an affair. Mortimer found out about it, which caused them to, at the least, separate for a while. Then, Bella became pregnant with Alexander, which would have brought up an important question—who is Alexander’s father? Once Alexander was born, and as he got a little older, it becomes clear that he resembles Cornelia, therefore verifying that Mortimer is indeed his father. This would have caused them to try their relationship again, and Bella would have turned down Don in good faith to Mortimer.

Who did Bella have an affair with?

Don wasn’t in town yet, and they hadn’t met. Neither did she meet the Caliente’s yet. Which leaves two possible contenders for Bella’s secret lover: Daniel Pleasant and Skip Broke.

On one hand, Daniel was Bella’s neighbor. She knew the Pleasants, and was friends with Mary-Sue. Daniel had an affair with Kaylynn going on, so he definitely could have some action on the side with Bella, too. My only reservation on that would be that I couldn’t imagine her doing that to her best friend. But then again, she did have an affair on her husband, so who’s to say what her morals are.

Then, there’s Skip Broke. This one makes the most sense to me, personally. While she wasn’t close with Michael, that doesn’t mean she completely avoided him altogether. She would have heard about Michael’s cloning experiments and could have met Skip that way, or she came to say hello and that was how they met. There is a theory going around that Brandi found out Skip was cheating on her, and that’s why she killed him and took his insurance money.

Maybe I’ll do another thing on that because the Skip Broke incident happens to be another rabbit hole altogether.

So, we know that Bella had an affair with Mortimer and things weren’t going so well between them at the time of her disappearance. We know that the Calientes and Don are completely innocent, at least as far as her disappearance goes. (And Nina is innocent altogether, she just loves Don and is completely oblivious to the fact that he’s doing her sister and two other women. She is ALSO a victim here, you guys. Give some love to Nina Caliente, she needs it.)

She dies sometime in the week between her abduction and the first time the Goth household is booted up from old age on Lunar Lakes despite the fact that she was a brand new adult again thanks to Mortimer’s reverse age serum.

Then a UFO crashlands in Strangetown and shortly thereafter reports of Bella Goth being in Strangetown start swarming around.

And yes, this Bella is a clone—there are subtle facial similarities, she is not in the family tree at all for the Goth house, but other than that, she’s structured exactly like the Real Bella goes as far as her outfit, her personality, and her aspiration.

(The Wiki says it’s her despite the fact that it’s been verified she’s not, and it also has MANY discrepencies, saying she’s related to the Curious Family and they appear on her family tree, which is incorrect because Strangetown Bella’s family tree is COMPLETELY EMPTY.)

So, clearly, when Bella was abducted, something went wrong. But what?

Well, why would the aliens even abduct her in the first place?

They tend to go after sims who are wealthy, high-skilled, good-looking, popular, anything like that. Bella was ALL of those things. She was the epitome of the perfect sim to the aliens. They practically worshipped her and their queen took her name and appearance. (This is referenced several times, specifically in the Sims 3.)

So, if something were to go wrong, why would the aliens worship her unless she had been being watched for some time before her abduction?

And what went wrong that caused her to lose her memories, her skills, her personality, her youth, everything?

Aliens also do not abduct children, the elderly, and pregnant sims because their experimentation could go drastically wrong.

She wasn’t a child, and reversed her age so she wouldn’t be an elder for quite some time—

So the only thing that’s left is that she was pregnant when she was abducted and that was why things went wrong.

She wouldn’t have known this, and neither would the aliens—it’s possible that the baby was conceived that day, which helped Bella in the case where Don was hitting on her—she wouldn’t go cheating on Mortimer if she were trying to rekindle their relationship and they had made it to woo-hoo that day.

Also worth noting is that there IS another Goth on Lunar Lakes who happens to look exactly like Bella.

Anyone recognize her?

This is Mathilde Goth.

She is the long-lost third child of Mortimer and Bella Goth.

No, they don’t appear on eachother’s family tree, but they wouldn’t if Bella died shortly after giving birth to her and Mathilde was put in the orphanage.

Mathilde looks almost identical to Bella with the exception of her blue eyes. She also has a preference for blue where Bella preferred red.

Mathilde has no idea where her mother came from and the fact that she has a family on Earth who is just as oblivious to her existence as she is to theirs.

What happens to Cassandra and Alexander after they find out about Bella’s death?

Remember how I said scientist sims end up inventing something?

Cassandra’s invention is time travel. She makes a time machine and the first use is to send Don to the future after her, Dina, Nina, and Kaylynn find out that he was playing all of them. She then goes on to live her life. We don’t know how that looks yet, but she never finds out what happened to her mother and that she has a younger sister.

Alexander is greatly affected by his mother’s death. He has no memories of her being abducted by aliens. Normally toddlers remember things like that so it’s odd that he doesn’t when the rest of his family does. What he does remember is her disappearing, Mortimer being okay with it and getting together with Dina really fast after she vanished, and then finding out that his mother was dead.

Alexander is a child prodigee. He’s a smart kid. So, he would go with any other conclusion someone would go with that limited information: he believed Mortimer killed her.

Well, Cassandra still has her time machine after she uses it to get rid of Don. And as we all know, Alexander’s name shows up in the Sims 3 a few times despite the fact that he doesn’t exist yet. And, according to the Goth family tree, it’s not a family name of an ancestor of his, he is the only Alexander Goth.

Once again, we’re going to reference a console game. This time is the Sims 3 for the Nintendo DS. Alexander actually makes an appearance, and this time, he’s not alone: he’s married to a woman named Cecelia. The family bio says that their gloominess is BECAUSE of Mortimer. Alexander dyed his hair orange. Probably he was trying to bleach it and didn’t know what toner was. He doesn’t have that great of a relationship with Cecelia, as a matter of fact, she has a better relationship with Don Alto than she does her own husband.

Back in the realm of the PC games, Alexander wrote two books when he went back in time to the continuity of the Sims 3:

Baron Graff Van Gold, which comes with Supernatural,

And then there’s the one that appears in the base game.

Murder in Pleasantview.

To string it altogether, Alexander remembers her being gone, then learning she died. He suspects Mortimer was the one to do it but he never actually talks to his father about it. He doesn’t know anything about the abduction, if anything thinking it a ridiculous rumor. He grows up, gets married, and decides at some point in time to go back in time to try and prevent his mother’s death. So he and his wife go into the time machine and try to go back to when it happened, but instead get sent back wayyyy too far to when his parents are still children. What happens to the time machine? It breaks. He’s stuck in a period of time where Time travel wasn’t a thing and no one really knows how to help him and he sure as hell doesn’t know himself. Effectively, he’s stuck there.

So, he writes A Murder in Pleasantview to tell the story of what he thinks happens to his mother. He doesn’t know it’s really all for nothing, but at the same time, it is because of what ends up happening as a result. A result he probably didn’t even know would happen.

See, A Murder in Pleasantview is a best-seller. It blows up the world of 50 years before his time. Every bookshelf has a copy of this book, standard-load. Sims would have read this, and would be influenced accordingly. They would have made better decisions, not wanting this tragic thing to happen to them.

And yes, it does literally take the world by storm. Better decisions in the past truly make for a better future.

This is where the Sims 4 comes in. It is a different continuity, but it is different because they are aware of what Alexander believes to have happened to Bella. This would be why their personalities are so completely different, why the age gap between Cassandra and Alexander aren’t so extreme, why the Goths are so much more reclusive.

Alexander did something that inadvertently changed the future, eliminating himself and his circumstances entirely. He vanished suddenly, probably in a series of events identical to Back to the Future, where he is then allowed to live his life as a child with his mother in the picture, having no idea what he believed happened to her, nor knowing the truth. He erases his little sister altogether, but he can’t be blamed for that since he didn’t know she even existed.

What happened to his wife? Did she get erased like Alexander did?

No, actually she died. She tried repairing the time machine, failed, and was electrocuted to death as a result. She died young and is buried in the Goth mansion’s graveyard, confusing future generations because no one knows where she comes from because she has the surname Goth but they can’t find her on their family tree.

Lolita Goth was the wife of Alexander Goth.

Yes, it says she’s single, which means one of two things happened:

Either she tried repairing the time machine one last time after Alexander vanished and died,

Like Alexander’s marriage to Cecelia, they didn’t have the best relationship and they ended up getting a divorce, then, possibly with Alexander still around, did the same and died.

She clearly wanted to go back home to her time and wasn’t happy with Alexander for being stuck there.

And it makes sense that she would have been electrocuted with the time machine because there are no other objects in the Goth Mansion that would result in her electrocution.

Which would ALSO explain why the Goths of the Sims 3 can’t figure out who she is. You can’t list a descendent and their wife on your family tree if they don’t exist yet, can you?

Tragedy is just par for the course in the Goth Family, it matches their dark and dreary macabre air. But Bella’s story is just really extra sad. Imagine trying to repair your failed marriage, going to meet a new neighbor only for him to put the moves on you without invitation, then get abducted by aliens where their experiments go wrong, causing you to lose your memories, your personality, your youth, and then you find out that it went wrong because you’re pregnant, which you didn’t know about that either, and your kidnappers take a tissue sample from you, and then drop you on a strange planet far from home where you have no way to communicate to them that you’re there, but you don’t remember anyone but your children anyway, leaving you to have a baby you didn’t even know existed when you were abducted and live just long enough to name her?

The truth has been staring at us in the face since 2014, but we all missed it. Me included for the longest time. It’s been 16 years since Bella went missing, and we all had theories and ideas, but THIS is the truth, and it’s really. Messed up. Yeah, I found out what happened to Bella, but do I like it? No, not at all. Bella deserved better, and so do her children. Mathilde especially. She grew up in an orphanage never knowing she had a family who would have loved her so very much, only to become a mailcarrier on her home planet. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a mailcarrier, don’t get me wrong.

Dina Caliente is innocent, but seriously? Bye.

Nina Caliente is innocent, and really deserves better.

Don Lothario is innocent, but yet he sucks.

Mortimer Goth used to be my favorite out of the Goth family, yes, even over Bella. But after learning everything about him I have mixed feelings about the guy. I don’t blame him for not trusting Bella, and I don’t blame him for wanting to move on, but jeez, at least show a little genuine emotion, Morty, she was your childhood best friend, and, if nothing else, the mother of your children.

There was no plot to get rid of her and swipe the Goth fortune.

It was just poor timing on the alien’s end, and bad luck altogether.

So, yeah.

That’s what happened to Bella Goth.

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grailfinders · 4 years ago

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Fate and Phantasms #144: Quetzalcoatl

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the Ruler of the West, Lord of the Day and the Winds, and the White Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl! She’s a Battle Master Fighter to get her lucha techniques, an Ascendant Dragon Monk to throw in muy caliente jumps and drops, and a Circle of the Land Druid for some extra bonuses and her faithful companion.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here, yes!

Next up: I’ll sleep when I’m dead!

Race and Background

As a divine demiservant, you certainly fit the mold of an Aasimar, but given the fact that you’re half bacteria, you’re probably closer to a Scourge Aasimar. This gives you +1 Strength and +2 Charisma, as well as Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, Healing Hands to help your loyal followers, and the Light cantrip.

Raising your own personal army out of anyone brave (or stupid) enough to face you makes you the Goddess Alliance Legionnaire. This gives you proficiency with Athletics and Intimidation, as well as an expanded spell list we’ll get into when it comes up.

Ability Scores

If you’re planning on flipping Ivan the Terrible on his back, mammoth and all, you’ve got to invest in Strength. Lucha’s also just as much about how you hit people as it is about how hard you hit them, so make Dexterity number 2. After that is Wisdom, yes! You are a great judge of character! (Character is found by fighting people, right?) Your Constitution isn’t particularly amazing, but you typically got your opponents in a crater somewhere before they can hit you. Sadly we couldn’t make your Charisma as high as I’d like, but your racial bonus helps a bit. Finally, dump Intelligence. Like a lot of these builds, it’s just the least bad ability to dump. Sorry Quetz.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Starting in the fighter class gets you proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two fighter skills. Acrobatics will make your mid-air maneuvers more amazing, and Animal Handling will help you control your pets. And Jaguar Warrior.

You also get the Unarmed Fighting Style, giving your unarmed strikes a serious power boost. Now they deal 1d6 damage, or 1d8 if both your hands are available.

You can also take a little siesta once per short rest thanks to Second Wind, healing yourself as a bonus action.

2. Monk 1: Bouncing over to monk real quick for a second, just here to pick up Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC of 10 + your dexterity modifier + your wisdom modifier as long as you’re not wearing armor. You also can’t wear a shield which is unfortunate, but trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Your Martial Arts also lets you use your dexterity when attacking with a monk weapon or your fists. You can also make an unarmed attack as a bonus action after attacking with your main action, and all your monk attacks can do at least a d4 of damage. That last one doesn’t really apply, given the circumstances, but it’ll get bigger over time. Again not to a point that matters, but it tries, dammit.

3. Fighter 2: Back in fighter for a bit to grab an Action Surge, letting you slap an extra action onto your turn once per short rest. Now you can make your enemies tap out in round one! You also gain a Necrotic Shroud, transforming yourself for 1 minute. When you transform, creatures nearby have to make a charisma save (dc 8+proficiency+charisma mod) or be frightened of you for a round. Plenty of people would say this should charm them instead. They aren’t wrong, but we work with what we’ve got.

Also, once per your turn you can add extra necrotic damage to an attack, equal to your level. You can pull out your scary face once per long rest.

4. Fighter 3: As a Battle Master, you become a Student of War, giving you proficiency with one artisan’s tool. Statues are big in Babylon, or at least those are most of the things that survive, so I’d look into that.

You also learn Combat Superiority, giving you three maneuvers that you can use with superiority dice, four d8s that recharge on short rests. This gives you a Commanding Presence, adding the die to an intimidation, performance, or persuasion check so you can become a star in the ring. You also gain a Pushing Attack to launch rudos out of the ring, and a Tripping Attack to land them on their culo before going in for a pin. The latter two also add the die to their damage roll.

5. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Grappler feat, giving you advantage on attacks against grappled creatures and the ability to pin them with another grapple check, restraining both them and you. Not super useful, but it is very flavorful.

6. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack each attack action. It’s not that flashy, but it is useful.

7. Fighter 6: Your last fighter level is another ASI, bumping up your Dexterity for a higher AC and the ability to use dexterity or strength for equally powerful hits.

8. Monk 2: Second level monks get Ki, which will be very useful later, but right now lets you attack twice, dash/disengage, or dodge as a bonus action. You get a number of ki per short rest equal to your monk level.

Your Unarmored Movement also lets you move just a bit faster. It’s handy now, indispensable later. Trust us.

Finally, you can spend a bit of time with your Dedicated Weapon to make any non-two-handed weapon a monk weapon. I’d say a macuahuitl is a bit too big to count as a short-sword.

9. Monk 3: As a ninth level character you can finally take your monk subclass, the Ascendant Dragon. This lets you change the damage type of your unarmed attacks to fire damage (and others, but c’mon), you can read, write, and speak Draconic, and you can re-roll a failed intimidation or persuasion check, turning it into a success once per long rest.

The Breath of the Dragon also lets you replace an attack action attack with fire (or other energy type) breath, dealing two martial arts dice worth of damage to creatures that fail a dexterity save within a 20′ cone or 30′ line if they fail a dexterity save (dc 8+wisdom mod+proficiency). You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus for free, or by spending 1 ki point.

Like all monks, you can also Deflect Missiles as a reaction, possibly sending them back if you reduce the damage to zero.

10. Monk 4: Use this next ASI to bump up Dexterity again, bringing up your attack power and AC. You also learn how to Slow Fall as a reaction, preventing an amount of falling damage equal to five times your monk level. Trust me, this is good.

11. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get Stunning Strikes, letting you spend ki points to force constitution saves on your opponents, stunning them for a round if they fail. You get nothing else. Certainly not any “extra attacks”, where did you even get a silly idea like that?

12. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-Empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magical for overcoming damage. You also get the big selling point of the dragon monk, Wings Unfurled. When you use Step of the Wind to dash or disengage as a bonus action, you also get wings until the end of the turn, giving you a flying speed equal to your walking speed. This means you can now grapple someone with your action and pull them forty feet into the air for one hell of a piledriver.

You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus, or by spending an extra ki point when using step of the wind.

13. Druid 1: We’ve had enough of beating the crap out of people, let’s make you a proper rider! First level druids learn Druidic. It’s a language. You also know how to cast and prepare Spells based on your Wisdom modifier. I’ll be honest, it’s not good.

You can cast Resistance and Gust as your cantrips, and you also get first level spells. Thanks to being a legionnaire, you also learn Fire Bolt and Sacred Flame for some muy caliente casting, and Guiding Bolt and Heroism so you can properly lead an army. This is also usually where I’d explain the kinds of spells you might want to prepare, but we’re literally only here for one third level spell, so let’s get cracking.

14. Druid 2: Joining the Circle of the Land gets you the Guidance cantrip so you can do everything just a bit better. Your Natural Recovery also lets you regain spell slots of combined level equal to half your druid level as a short rest once per long rest.

You also get Wild Shape, which isn’t in-character, and Wild Companion, which you can use a combined total of two times between short rests. The latter lets you cast Find Familiar without spending any money. The creature also only lasts a number of hours equal to half your druid level.

15. Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells, including your circle spells Spier Climb and Spike Growth. Neither of those are particularly in-character, but you also get the more military-minded spells Aid and Scorching Ray from your background.

16. Druid 4: Fourth level druids get a Wild Shape Improvement if you’re into that sort of thing, an ASI to bump up your Wisdom so your spells are stronger, and the Produce Flame cantrip, because you couldn’t do that plenty already.

17. Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, including your freebies: Lightning Bolt, Meld into Stone, Beacon of Hope, and Blinding Smite. This is also the level you can finally prepare what we came here for in the first place, Conjure Animals. This spell takes an action to summon a beast of CR 2 or lower, which hey, look at the stats for a Quetzalcoatlus, it fits the bill exactly.

18. Monk 7: Okay, we got the silliness out of our system. Getting back to monk, you get Evasion, turning your failed dexterity saves into successes and your successes into ignoring the fireball entirely. Your Stillness of Mind also lets you spend an action to end one effect charming or frightening you. You are the one doing the frightening around here.

19. Monk 8: Use your last ASI to become Tough, getting an extra 38 HP now, and two more the next time you level up.

20. Monk 9: Your ultimate level gives you an Unarmored Movement Improvement, letting you run up walls and over water, as long as you don’t end your turn there.

Pros:

Flight is always a great addition to any build, even a limited amount like in here. Having an effective 90 feet of flight gives you great mobility, and it gives you a decent piledriver to boot! Grapple something with your action, fly up using your bonus action, and drop them for a guaranteed 4d6 damage!

Spells like Spike Growth, your own pins, and your maneuvers mean you can control enemy movement as well. Fly/push enemies off cliffs, box them in with spikes, or pin them to the ground so they can’t cast any spells.

Taking so many classes gives you great flexibility, with healing and fighting spells from druid, as well as combat skills from monk and fighter.

Cons:

Your flight only lasts one turn, and if you use all your movement getting someone up into the air that means you’ll probably take as much damage as they do when you fall. Obviously being a monk helps, but then you’re eating all your reactions just to pile drive people into the ground. Totally worth it, but something you’ll have to work around.

Since we have to focus so much on your strength and dexterity, your wisdom lags a bit, making your spells and AC a bit weaker than I’d like.

We spent five levels in Druid for just one spell. Unless you really want that quetzalcoatlus, I’d suggest just putting that into fighter and/or monk for consistency.

#Fate Grand Order #FGO #Quetzalcoatl #D&D 5e #Fate and Phantasms #Monk #Fighter #Druid

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whimsicalsimmies · 4 years ago

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I quickly rushed to the hospital and checked in. I was very nervous, not gonna lie, the doctor looks quite inexperienced and that crazy machine was spilling glue everywhere 🤦🏻‍♀️

Dylan arrived shortly, scared and desperate, partly because he had a reality check and partly because he didn’t want to miss the birth of our baby, he was working that night and didn’t expect me going into labor so fast, he felt a bit guilty because he wasn’t home with me but I understood, I wasn’t working but somebody had to, we had bills to pay.

And here she is! Say hello to Ivy Cornucopia, she looks so peaceful and sweet, and look at her tiny little hands 🥺.

Ivy was very noisy and she was keeping us up all night but well we knew this was part of the process, and thank god the lifespan is normal so she’ll age up quickly.

One day our neighbors, the Calientes, visited us to welcome us to the neighborhood and they were so nice to bring fruitcake, yayy 🙂🔫.

A woman named Dina was very excited to meet Ivy, apparently she lost her baby when she was younger, and then had another one with a famous writer from another town, but she barely gets to see him, hmm. I told her she could come visit whenever she wanted, she seemed like a nice lady.

And of course, Bella came to visit, she was waiting for me to call her so that she could come as soon as possible.

Bella: Honey you should be resting, this little girl must be keeping you guys up all night.

Harper: Tell me about it Bella, but we’re happy, that’s all that matters

Bella: Ugh I can’t wait to meet her, is her room upstairs?

Harper: Wait Bella, I just need to ask you something...

Bella: Of course darling, is everything alright?

Harper: Well I may sound intrusive, but, did Mortimer ever had an... extramarital relationship??

Bella: You mean an affair?

Harper: Well yeah.

Bella: Well I’ve never talked about this with anyone...

Harper: Bella, it’s me, you can trust me and you know I’ll never judge you.

Bella: Well there was this time when Mortimer and I were going through a rough path, he was very very famous, he sold his first bestseller back in the day, and he was just so immersed in his work, I felt lonely and forgotten, so we got into a very bad fight and I left home, I didn’t know if we were over or if I will ever return home, but 3 months passed and I missed him so I came back to Willow Creek, but when I did I saw her, hot red hair, beautiful tanned skin, but that wasn’t what shocked me, she was pregnant, and he was holding her belly with such tenderness.

Harper: Oh Bella...

Bella: I didn’t know what to do, I cried and cried looking at them and felt guilty for leading my marriage to that. But I was strong enough to face it, we talked, and I gave him an ultimatum, for him to never see her again, her or me, and he chose me. But it wasn’t as easy as that, he said he didn’t want his child to grow up without him, so we ended up raising Alex together. Harper I’ve loved this kid like my own.

Harper: Bella how often does this woman see her kid?

Bella: Occasionally, not frequently, I told Mortimer that she could only visit when I was away from home so. I’m just scares Harper, I’m scared he’ll leave me for her

Harper: He won’t sweetie, he chose you, and I bet he regrets making you feel this way, it was just a slip, and now you guys are a happy family, but this isn’t this woman’s fault. I’m just saying you must rethink this decision, because I bet you wouldn’t want to be separated from Cassandra

Bella: Yeah, I guess you’re right darling, I feel better now that I talked about this with you, thanks for listening.

Harper: It’s nothing, thank you for telling me.

PREVIOUS // NEXT

BEGIN FROM

#the cornucopias #cornucopia legacy #sims blog #simblr #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 #maxis match #sims 4 story #sims 4 legacy

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authortango · 4 years ago

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“One day, the sun rose in the west and set in the east.” - Prompt #39

This is my first Reedsy Short Story! I’m going to try posting these here semi-regularly until I run out of short stories to post and I have to write new ones. I hope you enjoy them! I would love to hear what others think of my writing in this format!

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Paranormal

Word Count: 2,993 words

6:00 am, Lookout Mountain, Golden, Colorado.

One dark, dewy Colorado morning, a group of campers emerged early from their tents for their anticipated sunrise hike, organized by their group leader, Cathy. Cathy inhaled the cool morning air with tingling satisfaction. To her, there was nothing better than this. The wet morning air was way better than the first cup of coffee.

As her yawning crew of eight got itself all together, she smiled cheerily and quietly said to them all,

“Good morning! I hope you all slept well last night. We’re going to hike to this cliff right here,” She pointed, everyone's eyes following to a cliff on the east face of the mountain. “And then we are going to watch the sunrise before we get to breakfast. Everyone ready?”

The group nodded collectively, some more enthusiastically than others, and soon they were on their way. They became more alert as they climbed the side of Lookout Mountain, wide-eyed as they experienced the gentle sounds of nature’s morning song. As they arrived with Cathy on her chosen cliff, she checked her watch and was satisfied to find that they had made it on time, and that the sun would rise in the next five minutes. Turning to her group, she whispered,

“Get comfortable! Sunrise starts in five minutes!” As everyone huddled together to keep warm until the sun arrived, Cathy found a nice spot a little aways from them and eagerly set her eyes on the horizon. She felt these moments to be meditative, and while her companions might prefer to sit together, she felt there was something special about feeling the chilly air turn warm in the rosy glow of Earth’s star.

Five minutes passed. The area around them seemed to grow lighter, but the sun was not yet visible. Cathy looked up in the sky, a little confused. Could it be too cloudy to spot a sunrise? No, she had checked the weather in the area, and there definitely weren’t any clouds above them. Maybe the sunrise was later than the forecast had anticipated.

Fifteen minutes passed. Cathy felt the air around her start to get warm, and she was grateful for it. But she was a little unsatisfied. She still couldn’t see the sun on the horizon in front of her. Then, she heard a gasp from one of the women behind her.

“Look!” Turning around, she was shocked to see the sun right behind them, continuing to rise into the sky. She took out her phone and rechecked the compass. The cliff they were on was facing east, which meant, somehow, the sun was rising from the west.

9:00 am, Palo Alto, California

Enrique, two states away from Cathy and her hiking crew, did not wake up early enough to see the sunrise. In fact, he barely woke up early enough to be on time for his job. He spent the fifteen minutes he had in his morning trying to find clean clothes in his messy apartment, brushing his teeth, and stuffing a plain untoasted bagel into his mouth before longboarding his way to work.

At work, his busy morning got busier, as everyone stopped by the barrio coffee shop on their daily commute to work, and it was tough to catch a break when orders needed to be filled. When the workflow finally trickled into a lull, he spent some time chatting with his coworker, Isla.

Enrique really liked Isla. Mornings with her were more bearable than others, which was why he tried his best to schedule his shifts with her. She was pretty, her bow-and-arrow lips stretching from ear to ear as she excitedly told him about the newest thing she’d learned that day, her large, kitschy earrings flashing like her beautiful brown eyes. Today her earrings were turquoise painted with orange dots. Enrique loved the wrestler mask earrings she would wear during WWE season, or some of the pretty hand-beaded ones she bought at craft stalls. For special occasions, she would wear a pair of cherry earrings, and when Enrique thought about asking her out he would think about those earrings and blush. They were truly his favorite pair, and he often wondered if one day she would wear them for him.

Today, Isla’s face flushed with excitement as she told Enrique her news.

“Did you hear? The sun rose in the west today! They’ve never seen anything like it!”

“What? No way. The sun’s been doing it’s thing in the east for millennia! It can’t just change it’s habits like that.” Enrique laughed.

“You would think, but NASA even confirmed it on the news! They had satellite footage and everything. They predict it’s only for today, but who knows? The way the world works may change because of this! And it’s only the first day! Isn’t that so special?” Isla exclaimed, beaming at him. Enrique beamed back at her, shrugging.

“Y’know I guess it is very special. Does that mean it’s setting in the east today instead of rising in it?” He asked. Isla nodded.

“That’s what the weathermen are saying. Hey, a bunch of us are getting together after work to go to the Foothills and watch the sunset. You could join us! It’s gonna be a great big party to celebrate the world possibly changing and all that. You wanna come?” Enrique’s heart beat faster. Pretty Isla was asking him if he wanted to watch the sunset. With her! If the world was changing and Isla was the one asking him out, then today must be really special.

“Absolutely! I get off my shift at five, but I’ll be there! When does the sun set?”

“I think they predicted it to set around 7:30, so we’re gonna be at the park around 7. Don’t be too late!” Isla said before returning to the kitchen.

“I won’t!” Enrique called after her, hoping she didn’t see his ears burning with delight.

3:30 pm, a small adobe house in Palo Alto, California

Being one of the pastry cooks for the coffee shop meant that since Isla got to work early, she also got off of work early. Today, she was off early enough to fret about her party with Enrique that night. In her small childhood bedroom, Isla rummaged through her closet, barely glancing at the outfits as she muttered worriedly to herself.

“What was I thinking? What if he doesn’t like my friends? We don’t really know each other outside of work. What if we get there, and it’s all awkward, and we have nothing to talk about?”

Her mom, walking past with a laundry basket and, noticing her daughter frantically throwing clothes, stopped, and said,

“Mija, you need me to do some laundry? I’ve got the basket right here.” Isla groaned in frustration.

“No, no laundry. I just can’t figure out what to wear.”

“To what?”

“I’m going out with a group of friends to watch the sunset. Remember, it sets en el este today? And I invited Enrique, and I can’t figure out what to wear!”

“Oh chica, you have some nice dresses you could wear! Or you could rummage through my closet if you wanted something más caliente.” her mother said, giving her a little wink.

“Ayy mamí noooooo!” Isla wailed, flopping on her bed and burying her face in her pillow with embarrassment. Hearing her cry, Isla’s father appeared in the doorway, surveying the mess of outfits.

“What’s all this?”

“Isla’s invited su enamorado to her fiesta tonight, and she can’t figure out what to wear.”

“Aaaaah. Is this about that Enrique? Kind of a pretty boy, isn’t he?” He asked.

“Very pretty.” Isla’s mom nodded. Isla made another sound of disgust and frustration at her mother. Her father returned his attention to her and smiled.

“Mijita, su enamorado is going to love whatever you wear. Wear what you feel comfortable in, and don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Also red is a good color for meeting boys. It’s very lucky, and distracting. Especially on the night of your special sunset!” Isla’s mom added. Isla groaned again, and both parents finally left her alone.

When the coast was clear, Isla lifted her head and stared vacantly at the mess around her room. Maybe her mom was right about the color red, but she didn’t want to wear too much. Then, she spied her yellow dress tossed next to a pair of red flats, and knew immediately what she wanted to do.

She only hoped her date would be as interesting as her look.

5:30 pm, Bodega Square in Palo Alto, California.

Enrique had just exited a flower shop in a shopping center that Palo Alto called ‘Bodega Square’, with a bouquet of sunflowers, and was now strolling down the street. As he walked past the shops and corner-stalls, he window-shopped for something else Isla might like. Something that showed her that he cared about her, and would like to take their friendship further.

As he was about to leave, he happened upon a very small shop, run by an ancient looking man. The shop stand was no higher than Enrique’s knee, and he couldn’t help but notice the flash of the gold jewelry, all made with the same enchanting orange stone. Immediately, Enrique knew he had to get something for Isla.

“Excuse me,” he asked the man, squatting so as not to talk down to him. “What kind of stone is this?”

“Ah! This is called a sunstone! It is a very lucky gem, especially on days like these!” The man cried with enthusiasm, waving his arms to draw attention to the jewelry. His accent was unfamiliar to Enrique, but it all made for a very engaging conversation.

“Is there a piece you would recommend? I’m thinking about getting something for a girl I’m seeing tonight.” Enrique asked

“Ooooooh for a girl! Well you could do a necklace, but honestly, every girl gets a necklace, and eventually it becomes just another trinket. Here is something truly special.” The man said, turning around in his small shop for the item. He then showed Enrique a ring, fashioned to look like a small sun, with a beautifully cut sunstone set in the middle.

“This one is a very special piece, and especially in this, the day of our beautiful sun’s awakening!” Enrique looked thoughtfully at the ring. It was charming to be sure.

“Are you sure this will show her how I feel?” He asked.

“Absolutely! As clear as the sun speaks!” Enrique wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but as the man was so enthusiastic, and it was pretty, so he bought the ring. Once purchased, he strung it on the surfers necklace he wore to match his shark-print Hawaiian shirt. Bidding the man goodbye, he hopped aboard his longboard to make up for lost time, rolling through the busy streets of Palo Alto with ease.

The sun’s orange glow bathed the city in light as he rode along, and suddenly, he started to hear a whispering. The voice was far off, but it sounded like someone was trying to speak with him. He stopped his board for a moment, and listened, but there was not a sound around him. At least, not of talking. There were sounds of traffic, both cars and people walking, but not a voice like the one he had heard. Slowly, he began to board again, wondering if he had imagined it.

When he emerged from the busy street and turned towards the Foothills park, he heard the voice again, this time a little louder. The sun was in its full glory, the golden hour settling on the town before sunset. Enrique could hear a woman speaking, just enough that he could make out her words, but not enough to make sense of them. Instinctively, he reached for the shark tooth necklace to help him think.

As soon as he touched the ring, he heard the woman’s voice loud and clear. It was as if he had put on noise cancelling headphones, and all he could hear was her.

“Microorganisms are fascinating. It’s funny to see all the things they do when their routine changes. I mean, it wasn’t so drastic a routine, was it?”

Immediately Enrique let go of the necklace, shocked and confused. The voice stopped, and he looked down at the ring resting on his chest momentarily, putting the pieces together as the sun glinted off of its likeness.

The man had said, ‘As clear as the sun speaks’.

Quickly, Enrique fiddled with the clasp on his necklace, slipped the ring off of the string and onto his little finger. The voice came back again, in the same comforting, warm tones of what Enrique assumed had to be the sun. He stood there for a moment, listening to what she had to say.

“Are they ever warm enough? I can never tell. It takes so much energy to send them warmth. It’s why half the year I can only warm one side at a time. Thankfully they figured out fire.

“It seems we have a new listener. It’s so enchanting to know someone else can hear me for a change. Hello microorganism! Can you hear me? How was your day? I’m glad you found a stone to tune in with. Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Enrique, startled, felt as though she was speaking to him directly. And he did have somewhere to be. Cautiously, he started to longboard again, listening to the sun’s idle chatter as he did.

“It’s amazing, these microorganisms cover a planet so small and yet their lives end up being so huge. They’re not huge to everyone, but it’s hard not to become invested when you’ve been looming about ninety-three million miles away from them for so many millennia. I wonder if they feel the same, and that's why they get so excited over a routine change. I should stop startling them so, but it’s so funny to see how they react. I wonder how fast the earth would spin once one of those satellite people got their hands on a sunstone gem.”

This is crazy! Enrique thought. I wonder if she can see me. How can she observe anything when we’re so small?

“Observance is nothing. It’s not hard when every other life form in space is either non-complex, non-existent, or inhabited by your brothers and sisters. When I observe microorganisms…how do I explain it? When microorganisms use that dish to look at something even smaller than them, the clear one? The one that sometimes sets things on fire? I use something like that, although much bigger. It’s nice to follow your followers. I’d been following the Mayans for centuries because it was so flattering that they noticed me. It’s a shame they died out.”

Enrique, fascinated but overstimulated, blocked the sun’s jabbering out of his mind. It was close to setting, and he had just reached the Foothills. He scanned them briefly, eager to find Isla and her group. He spotted a large group to his left, and, assuming it was them, headed in their direction. He was correct, and when he saw Isla almost stopped in his tracks. The sun crooned ,

“Ooooh, she is very lovely. I can see part of why this one likes her. I hope she likes the ring.”

Isla caught Enrique’s gaze and smiled bashfully. She wore a yellow sundress that flared out around her knees, and was patterned with little white flowers. She wore a golden headband with little metal rays like the sun, and her red flats matched the cherry earrings that made Enrique blush. If the sun wasn’t setting above them, Enrique would have sworn it felt like high noon without a cloud in the sky. She was stunning to him. She approached him excitedly and exclaimed,

“I’m so glad you made it! And look at those lovely flowers! You really shouldn’t have. Come on, come join the party! I’ll introduce you to my friends.” Enrique remembered himself and smiled enthusiastically back at her.

“That would be excellent! But first, I got you something else. Hold on.” Enrique pried the ring off his little finger and delicately handed it to her. But Isla did not take it. She blushed so hard, that for a moment he thought he had embarrassed her and that she did not like it.

“Oh Enrique, you didn’t have to get me anything.” She breathed, enchanted by the glint of sunbeams bouncing off the ring.

“Do you like it? I’m sorry if it’s too much. I thought because it was a special day, it might be fitting. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want it.” Enrique explained.

“No no, I love it! I- I just wasn’t expecting a gift, and I don’t have one for you.” Isla stammered. This was so awkward, just like she had feared! She was stumbling for words, flustered, but she did like the ring. Luckily, she didn’t have to think of anything to say..

“Isla, you want to know something special about the ring?”

“What’s that?” She asked. Enrique took a breath, trying to clear his head so the right words would come to him. At that moment, he thought of the old man, and smiled.

“It’s perfect for you, because you both shine as clear as the sun speaks.” Isla smiled, a feeling of relief settling in her chest. There was no awkwardness between them, just easiness. She allowed him to hold her hand, blushing at how gentle his touch was as he slid the sunstone ring on her finger. Then, her eyes widened with wonder as she heard the sun speak. Enrique beamed at her, relieved that they both shared this secret, this new bond between them. And as the sun set over them, Isla heard her say,

“Ah! Lovely. Perhaps I’ll do this again sometime. Goodnight Earth. Enjoy tomorrow.”

#my writing #reedsy short stories #short story #my short story #as clear as the sun speaks #writing #fantasy #romance #paranormal #fiction #short fiction #original fiction #writing prompts #prompts

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westershiresauce · 4 years ago

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Headcanon: Deus Ex Scuba Gear

Note: Spoilers for Bly Manor.

So, here is my Bly Manor/Supergirl crossover crackfic headcanon where Kara is Dani and her ex Mike gets killed by a truck when he walks into traffic after Kara comes out to him and breaks off their relationship.

“Mike, I think I’m gay,” the blonde whispers, too ashamed to speak any louder. The man next to her tenses slightly before a look of relief washes over him.

“Oh thank God,” he says, and smiles at a confused Kara.

“What? You’re okay with this?” Mike shrugs and shoots the woman his frustratingly disarming grin.

“I mean, am I glad I’m being dumped? No. Am I relieved that the reason is you aren’t into guys? Kind of.” Kara wrinkles her brows in confusion and he continues.

“I mean, I know I’m hot.” Mike grins again and winks at the blonde who purses her lips at his peacocking, “I thought maybe you were just frigid or something.”

“Mike!” Kara looks around to make sure no one is listening. Mike laughs and she shoots him a glare.

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to break my heart at the corner of a major intersection.”

He winks at her and she advances on the man, trying to shut him up. He skips away from her, ignoring the fact that he is now in the crosswalk of the intersection.

“Mike! Stop fooling around!” the blonde pleads but the man ignores her.

“Hey, were you checking out chicks while we were together?” He waggles his eyebrows and Kara balls her fists at her sides. She refuses to take the bait. The man just laughs at her silence. “Dude, you totally did. What’s your type?”

He goes quiet suddenly and his face lights up. Kara shakes her head. It is seldom a good thing when the man gets a light bulb moment.

“Hey Kara,” his face gets lecherous and Kara readies herself for some horrifying comment, “Would you let me watch?”

Kara’s face blooms red with embarrassment and anger. She steps closer to jab her finger against the man’s face and get her point across. However, Mike anticipates this and he takes another step back, grin still in place even as a truck barrels into his body. Kara stares in shock, midstep and with her finger still in the air as Mike is flung at least twenty feet down the street. The smell of burning rubber as the truck attempts to stop and the blaring sound of a horn being pressed much too late fill her senses.

Kara: “No, Mike, not gay as in happy. Good lord, dude!”

Kara is at the hospital when Mike is pronounced dead. Rhea never really liked her so she leaves for her apartment, still shaken but confused about how she feels about what happened. On the one hand she feels responsible for what happened, but on the other hand, she almost feels relieved. Until, that is, she goes to wash her hands in the bathroom and sees Mike standing behind her. She screams and when she turns around, he is gone. It isn’t until a few days later that she hears someone walking around her apartment that she realizes what happened. She grabs her trusty bat and walks out, expecting some coke addict rifling through her bookshelves but instead sees Mike, pawing at her bookcase. He grunts in frustration when his hand goes through a book but cheers when he manages to knock one onto the floor. Kara drops the bat in shock and Mike turns around, grins wide and puts a hand up in a peace sign, just like when he was alive.

Mike: “I’m still here, bro!”

Turns out Mike is tethered to Kara and it is a horrible, cruel curse. He is both the best and worst wingman and Kara is still not convinced he doesn’t try to peek when she is getting dressed or showering but he also helps her learn to be more confident. All his shameless arrogance makes him a great cheerleader, at least once they talk about some ground rules.

1. No creeping on Kara in the bathroom or when she is changing. Mike scoffs at this and mutters about being able to creep on hotter ladies.

2. No unsolicited advice or comments about women that Kara is not interested in pursuing a relationship with. This is added after a week of Mike making comments about women that had Kara blushing constantly, even at work.

3. No watching when Kara has a lady over. She wasn’t sure where Mike disappeared off to when she did manage to have a date come back to her place but he would always leave after shooting Kara another peace sign and telling her to “do the circle thing I showed you.”

It all hits the fan when Rhea gets wind of Kara dating women and she packs up and leaves. She does not want to deal with that fallout and she would rather get a fresh start somewhere else. Where is that where else? London, Bly Manor, American au pair, you know the rest.

Kara: “Yeah, I’m gonna take a one way and gtfo of here.”

Who are our players at Bly?

Our cook Owen Sharma is good old Jack Spheer because sometimes these things write themselves. And who is our beloved Hannah Grose? Why, Lucy Lane. Because she was too good and I always want to see more of her. Plus she can be a stern little spitfire with the kids and ghosties (The kids refer to her to as Major). She takes her fine self and daydreams about the moment that charming Jack came over to get the job as a cook, not dead, just as a useless hetero (is that a thing? It is now...) that can’t fathom for some reason that Jack is totally in love with her.

As for Rebecca Jessel and Peter Quint? Kelly Olsen (the only character with any brain cells half the time) and Andrea Rojas, our muy caliente Scotsman. Is that racist? No, but her horrendous accent might be a crime. This version has none of the controlling assholeroy of Peter and no secretly killing Rebecca. Just good old bad luck in a horror series. Andrea gets drunk and tries to dive into the lake to find the chest of loot she is convinced is down there so her and Kelly can run away to America.

Andrea: “This is a file on all the reasons you should run away from this haunted ass creepy mansion and come with me to America. Also, there is a map I drew of the lake with an X where the loot most definitely is.”

Kelly: “This is just a picture of you in lingerie and a sheet of paper you colored blue with a big red X in the middle.”

Kelly dies trying to save her when Andrea starts to get hypothermia and they both drown in the freezing lake. Because why bury your gays when you can drown them? Amiright? Who finds their bodies the next day? This leads to the following section: Next slide, please!

Who is standing in for Miles and Flora Wingrave? Why, Ruby and a tiny Nia, of course. Nia is a sweet baby angel and I want to meet her as a little sister, totally doted on by her big sister, Ruby. Nia sees Andrea and Kelly arguing like lesbians (so much hand waving and crying and angry whispering) on the far end of the lake while their blue popsicle bodies float around. Ruby and Lucy drag little Nia away from the scene.

Nia: “My giant scarf is perfectly splendid! Also, I am baby.”

Things get really spicy when Kara shows up, ghost!Mike and all. He complains about not being able to haunt the “hot chick from apartment 314” any more, but he perks up at the thought of “British broads.” Kara had hoped he was tethered to National City or something, but it appears he is linked to her. Mike is ecstatic when he finds out Bly is full of ghosts. He is always off somewhere exploring the mansion and only pops in to tell Kara snippets of Bly’s history and its many inhabitants.

Meanwhile, we get to the real star of this indulgent charade. Lena as the wonderfully fit Irish (let her have the accent!) gardener, Jaime. She is convinced Kara is a corn-fed straighty from America until Kara throws herself at her in the greenhouse because flowers turn on lesbians (see Imagine You and Me and Georgia O'Keeffe’s many works. This is sapphic lore, kids.) She opens up about Mike and Lena smooches her so she doesn’t have to listen to the hot blonde’s delusions.

Lena: “What do you mean it is too bright? What book? This is a watering can for my gardening activities. So is my fashionable, appropriately sized hat.”

Kara: *OMG she is so hot and cool, what do I do?* “Hey, do you guys do the circle thing in the UK?”

Meanwhile, things are getting interesting with Mike and the ghosts: Kelly and Andrea, newly minted Bly ghosts, explain that they are stuck on the grounds. Mike, who believes in having the freedom of “you do you,” vows to break the curse. He strikes a heroic pose that makes Andrea roll her eyes but Kelly agrees they need to find out more about the origins of the Bly Manor curse.

Flashback episode in a horrid b/w tone because I want to show this is old, okay. It’s not like we could figure it out by the clothes. Or the set dressing. Or the fact that the one of the characters died of “the lung.”

Anyway, we have our sisters, Viola and the other one. Their names don’t really matter because they are going to be the brunette one and the blonde one, played by the queen of period series: Katie McGrath.

Anger-y brunette Katie, getting her smacking hand ready.

And blonde, sad (but also evil? plot twist!) Katie, lusting after her brother in law.

And they fight over none other than Daddy Cullen, Maxwell Lorde, because look at that hair, look at all those buttons, look at that big hand! Who could resist?

The child is baby Lena being twirled by Anger-y Katie pre-“the lung” because let’s just have this turn into a black hole that destroys itself.

Baby Lena: “Swing me, mummy. Swing me with your good lungs!”

Anger-y Smack-You-Every-Time Katie: “I swung too close to the sky and now this is happening to me.”

So while Kara and Lena are christening all sorts of places at Bly (yes, even the master wing because, of course, the master wing), Mike, Andrea, and Kelly are incepting themselves into all sorts of memories and whatnot. Cue that montage!

404 ERROR. MONTAGE NOT FOUND.

Whoops, looks like we blew our budget on that black and white filter. Sorry about that.

Once the ghost trio realizes the chest in the lake doesn’t in fact hold some dragon’s hoard of gold, but the key to ending this madness, Mike pops in on Lena and Kara to bring them up to speed. Kara screams at him about the third rule while Lena tries to accept the fact that her girlfriend (yes, they are girlfriends by now, keep up) has a ghost for a best friend.

Kara makes Mike look away while her and Lena get dressed and after quite a bit of exposition, they decide to pull the chest up from the lake. Lucy and Jack have been off playing hide the croissant or whatever the straights do during their leisure time, but they quickly hop on the “break the Bly manor curse” train.

There is a fun B (C?) plot where Ruby and Nia steal Jack’s car and drive into town. No one in town cares because they are rich and all the adults at Bly are busy romancing each other and assume the girls are being odd rich kids playing somewhere in the manor.

The adults are planning how to get down to the chest without suffering Andrea and Kelly’s fate, when they find some scuba gear the kids bought on their last trip to town. It is wholly impractical but the adults shrug and accept the plot hole so they can hurry this along.

They draw straws and Kara has to dive down and tie some chains around the sunken chest. Lena jumps in front of limited edition Scuba Gear Kara to stop her but the American has to America so she dives into the freezing lake after a swoon inducing “I’ll be right back” kiss. Like, gifable on tumblr, twitter, and whatever new platform there is a hundred years from now.

Scuba Gear Kara: “Guys, I can’t see anything through this helmet. Guys?“

After a few tense moments where Anger-y Olden Time™ Katie tries to stop Kara, Mike, Andrea, and Kelly step in and use their ghost powers to keep her away from Kara. Jack uses his car to pull up the haunted chest and they pry it open with a crowbar and plenty of moxie. The screams of slap happy Katie of the past ring out around the heroes as the curse is broken. The ghosts cheer, everyone laughs nervously (they know the end is never the end in a horror story) and Kara shivers from the cold until she is next to the fire, dry and cuddled up with Lena.

As her final act of revenge, Anger-y Katie gives Kara the Lung(!) but thanks to the power of Science, our spunky American pulls through after properly completing the full course of treatment and antibiotics. This includes Lena taking sexy care of her girlfriend. *wink*

***** westershiresauce is not a medical professional and their thoughts regarding the health benefits/healing powers of a sexy nurse!Lena are not verified. Don’t take srsly. *****

Cut to, one more garden and I can retire, Lena, sitting next to an immaculate shrub, waiting for her wife Kara to bring out the tea and biscuits.

THE END!

Lena: “I swear to all that is holy, if that tea is shite, I am leaving her. It’s been like thirty years!”

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poetdreamerfool · 3 years ago

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2021 Freestyle series #21 - deadpresidente.extendo 📏‼💥🔥🚒

there no telling what mood I'm in fighting my diablos like a Nephilim they put the knife in back and left it in got nothing but tears for my next of kin but still my word play is decadent I got a mind about dead presidents the aroma of herb is like my reverb honied words catching fly honeys money stacked tall as bunk beds I got top you lunk head you cross me your boys will be in morning like abed with troy oui! mui caliente hone my craft like a sensei you a grasshopper, cricket, of course you know pinocchios with that long ass nose liar liar weed pants on fire I ain't liar I'm lion like Simba in wait for scar in search of the holy grail of hip hop that immaculate bar sirens, lights, car hole in one guess he aint up to par guess he ain't up to par spit hot shit like I got lava lips the lion found his heart welcome to the apocalypse ill be your host this calls for a toast to a night I won't remember with people I'll never forget don't pour one out yet I'm lifting this world off my back I'm on the last set bet we don't struggle we just lift shit in the lab cooking at 3 am tell Didi call Dr. Lipchitz cause my kids got me doing this shit ridiculous got balls like Invictus but this ain't my final space I'll eat the game up leave then come back like Mase I'd call the devil bitch to his face I ain't never learn my place or when to shut my mouth either this shit ain't black and white this ain't to beaver this is real life this is a real knife in the gun fight of life but still my clip go extendo when you hand me a mic

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mysterycheerio · 3 years ago

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Lights Up, on Washington Heights up in the break of day…

Peter closed his door, keys rattling in his hand. Across the street sat his little corner shop - the coffee shop he had worked in since he was small, and in front of it, the gang of graffiti artists painting the roller door in front of it.

The customers were gathered around, watching the artist, mumbling to themselves in disagreement for the pseudo Banksy.

Frustration filled him, and he ran towards them, shouting, "Hey, HEY!"

They ran off.

I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away,

He entered the shop, asking the polite customers to bear with him a moment while he got everything ready, humming to himself as he did his chores.

Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, sing while I wipe down the awning-

He stepped outside, flipping the sign to 'open', and said in a good-natured tone, "Hey, y'all, good morning."

Piragüero, the man selling a sweet, shaved ice type dessert, called a 'piragua', rounded the corner, like he did every day, "Ice cold piragua! Parcha, China, Cherry, Strawberry, and just for today, I got mamey!"

"Yo, Piragüero! ¿Como estas?"

"¡Como siempre, Señor Parker!"

He smiled as the old ladies brought in their grandchildren, pulling them up to the desk. He greeted them the way he knew the ladies wanted.

"They call me Peter, and you prob'ly never heard my name - reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated," he said in a sing-song voice. The guardians began to shop, leaving the children at the front of the store listening to his story - how he's a first generation immigrant, who now sells coffee in his little corner shop.

He went into the back for the second, talking loud enough so that the kids could hear him. He opened the fridge and sniffed the milk, checking to see if it was still fresh, but all that met his nose was the scent of putrid dairy.

The door opened, and in stood Maria Carbonell, known to the community as Abuela Maria.

"Abuela, my fridge broke," he said, voice hinting at desperation as he tried to speak quietly so the kids wouldn't hear him, "I have café but no con leche!"

She smiled, "Try my mothers old recipe: one can of condensed milk."

They walked back out, winking at the kids, "Nice!"

"Ay, Paciencia Y Fe!"

He turned his attention to the kids, "That was Abuela, she's not really my Abuela but she practically raised me, this corner is her esquela," he said, the kids laughing as he turned on the spot.

"Excuse me," a middle aged man said politely, "Can you tell me how to get here?" He pointed at a picture of downtown.

"Ah, you're probably thinking, 'I'm up shits creek'. Have you ever been North of 96th Street?" He shook his head. Peter figured as much, "Well, you must take the A train, go even farther than Harlem, to Northern Manhattan. Get off at 181st and take the escalator. And you're there!"

"Thank you so much," he said, grateful, before holding his hand out to one of the kids and pulling him out of the shop, "Come on Michael."

"But dad, I want to listen to the man's stories!"

He smiled.

Soon the kids had to depart with their guardians, and he gave a friendly wave at their departure.

I'm getting tested, times are tough on this bodega, two months ago somebody bought Ortega's. Our neighbours started packing up, and picking up, and ever since the rent's went up-

"It's gotten mad expensive," a kid said, making small talk as Peter handed him his coffee.

"But we live with just enough," he said, smiling.

"Amen, brother."

Next up to bat, the Starks! They run the cab company, and struggle in the barrio, see - their son Harley is off at college, tuition is mad steep, so they can't sleep, everything they get is mad cheap.

"Good morning, Kid," Tony said, hand in hand with his wife, Pepper.

"Pan caliente café con leche!"

Tony nodded, "Put 20 dollars on today's lottery-"

"One ticket, that's it!"

"Hey, a man's got a dream."

Peter laughed at the couples banter, when Pepper addressed him, "Don't mind him, he's all excited cause Harley flew in at 3 am last night-"

Peter set down the drinks, "Don't look at me."

They took their drinks, and as a parting message, Tony said, "Underoos, come over for dinner, there's plenty to eat!"

Peter barely got five seconds before he heard the sound of distinct chatter, "So, then Yesenia walks in the room-"

"-Uh huh."

"She smells sex and cheap perfume, it smells like one of those trees that you hang from the rear-view!"

"No!"

"It's true! She screams 'who's in there with you, Julio!' Grabs a bat and kicks in the door, and she's in bed with Josè from the liquor store."

"No me diga," the younger of the two said.

"Wanda and Nat, going to the salon?"

Nat nodded, and the two chorused, "Thanks Pete!"

Monday is a busy day for him, to say the least.

The bell on the door dings for the umpteenth time that morning, but instead of a customer, it's a small, black boy, fourteen, who's rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Miles, you're late," he says, his tone annoyed, but Miles knows there isn't any real bite behind it.

"Chillax," he says, making his way to the back of the store, "You know you love me."

He rolls his eyes.

Me and my cousin running just another dime-a-dozen, Mom-and-Pop, stop-and-shop and oh my god, it's gotten two darn hot-

He turned on the AC. The weather man said this summer will be one of the hottest in history.

People come through for a few cold waters and a lottery ticket, just a part of the routine, everybodies got a job, everybodies got a dream. They gossip as I sip my coffee and smirk, the first stop as people hop to work.

That's his day really. An endless blur of one dollar, two dollars, one fifty, one sixty-nine, I got it, you want a box of condoms what kind?, that's two quarters, the New York Times, you need a bag for that? The tax is added.

Like he was saying to Miles when he first came into his life, "Once you get some practice at it, you do rapid mathematics automatically."

Miles then comes out of the back, preparing himself to work the counter so Peter could do the coffee's - Peter was the only one who knew the secret recipes that kept the customers coming- successfully snapping him out of his thoughts.

"How are they today?"

"Practically everybody's stressed, but they press through the mess."

Miles nodded.

"You ain't got no skills," a voice said, as they walked into the store.

"Ned!"

Ned smiled, leaning against the counter. Peter and him were best friends growing up, so naturally, Ned was a regular in the shop, despite working long hours for a boss that didn't respect him.

"Yo, let me get a-"

"Milky way?" Peter guessed.

"...Yeah. Let me also get a-"

"Daily news."

"And a-"

"Post."

"And a most importantly, my-"

"Boss' second coffee, one cream, five sugars."

Miles wrinkled his nose at Ned's boss's absurd amount of sugar, and Ned began to talk to Peter about his job while he waited.

"I don't get it! I'm the number one earner! He can't keep me on the damn back burner-"

"Yes he can."

"I'm making moves, and I'm making deals, but guess what?"

"What?"

"Ya still ain't got no skills!"

"Hardee-Har," he said, sarcastically, pouring the creamer in.

"Has Michelle shown up yet?" Ned asked Miles, who was smiling.

"Shut up!" Peter said hastily.

"Hey, dude, don't be upset. You should tell her how you feel. Buy the girl a meal,on the real, or you ain't got no skills."

The doorbell dinged. This is why Peter was so anxious to be talking about Michelle. She normally came in around this time. Right now, she was looking at the ground, phone to her ear.

"Mr. Johnson, I have that security deposit. I've been saving to make a down-payment, and pay rent… no, no, I won't let you down-".

Ned whispered to him, "Here's your chance, ask her out."

"-I'll see you later, we can look at that lease," she said, before hanging up.

"Do something, make your move, don't freeze!"

"Hey," he said, buzzing with nerves.

"You owe me a bottle of cold champagne," she said, her voice soft and soothing. Despite this, her words made a heavy feeling form in his gut. It was something they'd thought about years ago, but only if-

"Are you moving?"

She shrugged, "Just a little credit check and I'm on that downtown train."

He tried to shake off the sad feeling, "Well, your coffee's on the house."

"Okay," she said with a smile, before turning to leave.

"Peter, ask her out."

"No way," Miles said.

But Michelle turned around, "I'll see you later… so…"

And with that, she left.

"Oh, smooth operator, oh damn, there she goes," Ned teased, before taking a look at Peter’s still kinda sad face, "Hey, dude. Take five, get some fresh air, a walk outside. You look exhausted, lost…"

"I kinda feel that way," he joked, but was it a joke?

Ned looked at him with sympathy, "Hey, the whole neighbourhood is struggling, and times are tight, and you're stuck to this corner like a streetlight…"

Ned looked at his watch, and rushed out of the shop, saying he was gonna be late and bidding adieu to the two guys, but Peter could say it back, his friends words bouncing around in his head.

Yeah, I'm a streetlight, choking on the heat. The world spins around while I'm frozen to my seat. The people that I know all keep on rolling down the street, and everyday is different so I'm switching up the beat.

Cause my parents came with nothing, they got a little more, and sure, we're poor, but yo, at least we got the store. It's all about the legacy they left with me, it's destiny, and-

One day, I'll be on the beach with Miles writing checks to me.

That's what he wants to do. His parents died, along with his aunt and uncle, leaving him in the care of Abuela. He longs to go to a beach, and reconnect with his roots. A better life, one where he isn't stuck serving coffee's.

It gets more expensive every day, in their little corner of the world.

Turn up the stage lights, we're taking a flight to a couple of days of what it's like-

In Washington Heights.

#peter and tony #peter parker fics #tony stark #no powers au #in the heights #coffee shop au

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