#we were like 12 and our mom was like. yeah im not taking u to bab anymore LMAO

[echidnana]

getting back into bab has made us so happy. the little guys.

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : womp womp my final uni project is making me crazy and it’s hurting my wallet fr. Anyways, this update took way too long again, are we surprised? No, we are not. Lol Enjoy

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Mastelist

< Previous | Part 12 | Next >

Incoming call from xxxx xxx xxx

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hello?”

“You made a mistake choosing him”

“Wow, whose phone is this now, Lando?”

“He cant make you happy. The team will not allow it”

“Yeah whatever”

“Y/N I-“

“don’t care”

end call

call dropped

Y/N.

liked by oscarpiastri, y/bf charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, and others

Y/N. That boy is mine

tagged @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri Hi girlfriend🧡

Y/N. Hi boyfriend 🧡

charles_leclerc WE GET IT U LOVE HIM, why do I need to see him this way 😀

Y/N. get used to a cunty Osc.

charles_leclerc NO he’s an innocent baby, ur corrupting him!!

oscarpiastri wtf. alex pls collect charles

danielricciardo why is it spicy 🥹

oscarpiastri not my fault I’m hot, deal with it

Y/N. Preach.

logansargeant I MADE THIS HAPPEN

Y/N. I’ll give credit when it’s due… ok thanks logan hunter sargeant

oscarpiastri Thanks, now leave us alone pls

logansargeant WOW this is the thanks i get????

user1 Oscar made it into the feed!! Lets go

user2 Y/N and Oscar are now OFFICIAL official

user3 Y/N took the hard launch way to hard

user4 the amount of pda and tension in this post alone makes me want to cry. OK IM SINGLE thanks for pointing that out

user5 SLIDE 1 HELLO???!!

user6 ik!! im shooketh

user7 Osc is so in love with Y/N and it shows 🥹

user8 Osc is obsessed. Ugh I’m so single that it hurtssss

user9 Lol as he should, that is THE Y/N L/N

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N. , logansargeant, charles_leclerc, markwebber, and others

oscarpiastri against all odds, that girl is mine

tagged @Y/N.

Y/N. Sorry ladies, dibbs! I claim this man🤭

oscarpiastri proudly urs, Luv

nicolepiastri U better not hide Y/N from us, Oscar!

Y/N. Hi Mrs. P 🥺

nicolepiastri hello sweetie! Can’t wait to meet you in person.

oscarpiastri You’ll meet her mom, don’t worry

charles_leclerc So sweet. The two of you are insufferable

oscarpiastri Wow ok. I’m telling grandma u said that.

Y/N. Get off the gram then old man!

user1 OK but why is Osc so hot all of a sudden

oscarpiastri its the girlfriend effect

user1 HI OSC!!

user2 its the Y/N influence~ boi got hotter instantly 🥵

user3 Osc posting Y/N all over his socials!! Flaunt your queen, King.

user4 Brother made sure everyone knew that Y/N is off limits

user5 This is how you treat ur significant other, you dont hide them and treat them like trash. Pls do take notes … Lando im looking at you.

user6 Oscar is spoiling Y/N~ i’m so here for it 😭🫶

user7 Y/N is finally getting the love she needs. Both of them are making efforts for each other, not just Y/N

user8 I’m still obsessed with what Osc did after his win. when will it be my turn huhhh?

user9 I will never let myself forget. My standards are thru the roof!

Notification: you were tagged by mclaren on a post

mclaren

liked by user1 and others

mclaren Welcome back to our side of the paddock @Y/N. We missed seeing you in papaya!

Y/N. Just to support my man @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri 🧡🧡🧡

danielricciardo @Y/N what an honor to be a guest at McLaren 😀 liked by author

Y/N. I know! I’m so happy to be back there 😀 liked by author

mclaren @Y/N MTC comeback soon? 🤔

Y/N. I would be stupid not to come back 🙂‍↕️😀

user1 Lmao who let admin post this? Y/N is clearly there just for Oscar.

user2 Y/N wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole, let alone go back 😭

user3 Mclaren ur embarrassing urself here honey.

user4 the obvious pr stunt, when in fact they hate Y/N for Lando’s stupidity

user5 Danny Ric and Y/N on the comments filled with sarcasm, chandler bing would be proud 🤡

user6 not mclaren actually liking the comments 🤡😭

user7 @user6 I like to think that mclaren knew it was sarcasm but they were forced to like it anyway

user8 I like user7’s version so much I’m gagging HAHAHA

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*You renamed the group to Timstams and Ranch

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[verthu]

15 OC Questions - tag game

thank u @castawavy​​​ kiss 

1) are you named after anyone?

jay: “no”

neo: “no, but it was inspired by Thomas A. Anderson iykyk”

aurelio: “also no, but then it was inspired by a real character from john wick so yes???”

santino: “same as above”

leon: “no”

2) when was the last time you cried?

jay: “i never cry”

neo: “like last month when i lost my wallet haha”

aurelio: “when i watched an anime idr like last week?”

santino: “dont remember lol”

leon: “i also never cry :)”

3) do you have kids?

all 5: “no.”

4) do you use sarcasm?

jay: “sometimes yeah”

neo: “YES”

aurelio: “rarely, almost never”

santino: “ye”

leon: “yuh”

5) whats the first thing you notice about people?

jay: “their clothes”

neo: “yeah clothes, but also if they have like interesting hairstyle or color”

aurelio: “their mannerism”

santino: “uhhhhhhh”

leon: “piercings and tattoos”

6) what’s your eye colour?

jay: “dark brown almost black

neo: “same as jay”

aurelio: “dark brown yeah”

santino: “also dark brown”

leon: “brown but a bit lighter than those 4”

7) scary movies or happy endings?

jay: “scary”

neo: “either one is fine i dont really care”

aurelio: “i mean happy endings are nice but its not something i have strong opinions about”

santino: “dont really watch movies but i guess i like scary?”

leon: “happy endings are nice yeah, dont really care tho”

8) any special talents?

jay: “takes less than 10 min to get ready”

neo: “i mean...i play video games”

aurelio: “i can finish any book in one sitting :)”

santino: “none. i skate tho aha”

leon: “im funny”

9) where were you born?

jay: “california, southern :)”

neo: “my mom said i was found in a dumpster aha jk she said i was born in tokyo, but we moved to california when i was 2”

aurelio: “orgeon, but also moved to california”

santino: “new york baby”

leon: “southern california”

10) what are your hobbies?

jay: “shopping :) i like spending money that i do not have”

neo: “games, watching stuffs, skating”

aurelio: “painting, reading, old man stuffs aha....”

santino: “skating, i make music when i feel like it too”

leon: “video games, sleeping”

11) have you any pets?

jay: “a cat named noir. and my sister is taking care of our family dog actually”

neo: “2 dogs but they are living w my parents rn”

aurelio: “1 big doggy :)”

santino: “a snake...”

leon: “none :(”

12) what sports do you play / have you played?

jay: “i dont play sports”

neo: “is skating a sport????”

aurelio: “no”

santino: “is skating a sport????”

leon: “i skate sometimes, used to play soccer in high school tho”

13) how tall are you?

jay: “6ft??”

neo: “5′8 i think”

aurelio: “5′9ft”

santino: “i think 6ft”

leon: “5ft10 or something”

14) favourite subject in school?

jay: “none”

neo: “believe it or not i actually enjoyed english”

aurelio: “me too, i had english with Neo”

santino: “none”

leon: “uhhh”

15) dream job?

jay: “i do not dream of working. but i like whatever im doing now”

neo: “like a fashion designer or something”

aurelio: “something about art would be nice”

santino: “as long as i make money and not burned out”

leon: “movie director i guess lol”

[tyonfs]

okay my updates r gonna have to be split in like chronological order bc this is just too much for one ANYWAYS. let’s start with new york.

so as we know i used to live in new york and i have a couple childhood friends who live there. my one friend who’s a girl we were inseparable and at first i was scared to meet her when we went but oh boy do i DESPISE HER. she’s such a pick me and she likes to act so fucking different. her humor is like 2020 AND SHE DRESSES LIKE IT TOO.

one thing about me is i’m a family girl and for some reason my mom was like oh let’s take to the cemetery with us to see your grandparents and i’m like??? anyways when we went and we were there praying i noticed she kept looking around and trying not to laugh and my mom sent me and her to the car she literally was like why r u so serious they’ve been dead 12 years like wow! just wow!

enough of that girl i’m already getting mad.

let’s talk about the one who’s a boy… oh boy. his name is arsal and oh my god when i saw him in new jersey it’s like i swept off my feet back to when we were kids. when i first got to his house he didn’t say much besides hi and how are you and when our parents forced to go on that walk oh my god. alice i swear i can count to you everytime he looked down at me as i talked and everytime our hands brushed and flinched away. we caught up with school and our lives.

then he said what i was so scared of hearing. he talked about the time we were kids and he had the fattest crush on me and the way he looked at me was like i was the only girl in the entire world. after said incident as i left his house his instagram popped up on my thing and i followed him. HE FOLLOWED RIGHR BACK.

after this we saw each other in the city when our families planned to get together. we went on a ferry ride and i got seasick but so did he and everyone was doting on him but he was like “but she’s sick too!” and while we walked he deliberately stopped WAITED FOR ME then started walking with me and matching my steps. and when we were gonna go on the double decker buses he wanted to sit next to me but i was sitting with that horrible terrible friend and he was like oh no biggie and sat across from us and i could feel his eyes burning into my head all the time like the view was gorgeous and he was looking only at me.

and you’ll never guess it. right as i land back in texas all this energy just stops. from 100 - 0. the little times we talked in dms was just so dry and terrible and it doesn’t make sense to me so honestly i’ve just stopped trying. i haven’t texted him in over a month so i’d say that’s going okay.

and briefly let’s talk about cam bc ohhhhhhhh man. basically he transferred schools bc he got capped at ut and so he moved to austin which doesn’t bother me bc after new york i was like i rlly don’t wanna commit to him but we talk from time to time and recently we talked on ft and oh my god it was bad. i was complaining abt classes and stuff as one does and he literally says “yeah.. ur so beautiful i wanna kiss u rn” DAWGGGGG 😭😭😭😭😭 i hate guys like that so bad like that was just my breaking point and i haven’t talked to him since.

but in the next update i’ll talk about school and stuff bc ohbmy god so much is going on.

i know some of ur followers r probs like who is this insane chick with an insane life liek trust me i hate it too. - 🎀

seated for the lore ☕️

oh no i am not liking this girl already :// who says that about someone's grandparents at a GRAVEYARD?? 😭 that's so messed up, im so sorry she said that love :(

OHHH THATS A CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS WAITING TO HAPPEN 🤭🤭 and he admitted he liked you as a kid so??? feel like that entails that he would be interested in something happening in the future 🤭 but why is the friend cockblocking im so 🫥

BUT NOOOO WHAT :( he didn't reciprocate the energy after you moved back ?? that's .. if he's still ghosting i feel like i wouldn't want to waste any more energy on him 😪 some guys are soo..... also cam??? ew why does he sound so shallow there 😭 listen to a girl when she wants to rant !!! but as you should 🤝

HAHAHA dw im sure they're nodding along with the responses 🫂

[mangomochi-yn]

[pretty setters tie your hair]

all of haikyuu’s pretty setters x reader

g. v self indulgent fluff wc. 9-12 bullets/ea

contains. sugawara k., kageyama t., atsumu m., oikawa t., semi e., akaashi k., shirabu k., kenma k.

sugawara

starting with this sweetheart ✨

will use pink or baby blue elastics!!

yknow that one mom that does rad hairstyles but you can literally see the child’s scalp?

yeah thats him

he’ll do like a two half ponies that meet into one big pony

but then you feel like your hairs gonna rip off 💀 (yeah this for sure won’t come off throughout the day)

you don’t have the heart to tell him cause he looks so satisfied and happy with tho so 😔

but bear with it and he’ll give you a sweet smile and kiss to your (now very clean) forehead!!

all in all 8/10 and a hug where you nuzzle his neck (hard enough to loosen some strands hopefully) 😁

kageyama

😬 awkward baby!

very very hesitant when you ask and is for sure like nah no thank u

but a few pouts and puppy eyes and he’ll give 😉

and boy suprise suprise!!

he’s actually decent

pretty good actually 👌

(maybe cause he has a big sis that he might’ve seen tie her hair a few times)

so he would’ve been perfect even but alas... the boy’s awkwardness degrades it a bit

this boy he literally avoids touching your neck for some reason

and ur like wat

so 7/10 dont forget to give him thank you kisses 😘

atsumu

ugh love this man but bitch right of the bat 2/10 and maybe a punch to the face 👊

this boi is the devil i tell ya

“eh? ya can’t even tie yer own hair? lol what a scrub”

“fuc u tsumu it’s supposed to be cute” 😠

so. many. loose. ends.

and you don’t even get how cause hes so harsh??

he accidentally tugs your ear and laughs as he “apologizes”

clowns you so much too sayin your hair strands look fat 😪 (like not thick but fat)

literally you look like a clown in the end

and you didn’t even know you could look that sloppy

oikawa

then we have pretty boi... 🙃

could’ve been a solid 7.5 but bitch

does the u g l i e s t hairstyles

(you should’ve known when he agreed so easily and excitedly)

like boy you really do your own hair so nice but no justice for me?? where is the love..

says he’s “experimenting” 🤦‍♀️

and uses 15 different colored elastics and makes you look like a sprinkler (little did you know he was going for an alien look)

like his ties were actually nice and neat but cause of the ugly hairstyle they end up messy and youre just agshdhshshd

laughs manically the whole time 😑

6/10 and a harsh pinch to the waist (boi even had the auDaciTy to complain when u re-tie it)

semi

this babe 💔

he’s... not very good

but does his best!!

gets a bit frustrated too cause like when a strand falls and he goes to pick it up another that was already in his hand falls and hes like 😠 ??? (that one pout he makes)

(so maybe dont ask him again cause poor thing)

(he ties with his fingers wide open like he tryna toss your head or sumn)

compliments a lot tho so you’re like 🥺 ily

“your hair’s really soft babe” “your shampoo smells good too” ughh big phat uwu busted 💕

takes his time choosing the cutest accessory to make up for how its.. not looking too nice

so 6/10 and his fave tuna rolls cause baby deserves it!!

akaashi

ah. here he is

the perfect one™

basically suga but so much more gentle

no hesitation when you ask him too (mama im in love 🥰)

styles aren’t too intricate unlike suga so theres that

theyre v simple but like he still makes them so nice

and the way he softly threads his fingers as he brushes your hair to untangle them before starting?? 😭

idek what else to say man is perfect just 💍

smiles softly when you turn around to face him

so yes 10/10 and my whole heart forever thanks 🙏

shirabu

ma big brains boy 💜

tough part is to get him to do it

he’ll literally sneer and youre like 🙂 bitch

so bug him some more and he’ll give (or if you pretend to ask someone else lol)

then youre ready for the tugs and pain but actually you’re met with... pure gentleness?

👁👄👁 “r u starting already?”

“uhm yeah duh”

soft touches here and there and you literally melt

(sometimes u think he’s being a lazy tease but nah he just doesn’t wanna hurt u)

sadly though this makes it a bit sloppy but like the experience by itself was just👌

try to ask him to redo it and he’ll just roll his eyes

so 8/10 do not ever try to redo it yourself cause if you do he will never do it again after

kenma

ashdhfjskkl lastly our bby boi!! 🥰

lemme tell u 9/10!!!

baby boi has long hair himself so he will be good!

has perfected the messy but cute and effortless look

(cause that is literally him— effortlessly cute)

only tough part is finding an opportunity to ask him

like he won’t say no but whenever hes gaming (aka 24/7) hes just so 🥺 how do you interrupt that

so ya gotta wait till hes walking back from the bathroom or something!!

and he’ll be like oh okay sure

very nimble and soft movements

though it ends too quick cause boy knows what hes doin already 😔

overall, anytime you get him to do it is a blessing in itself. a literal slice of heaven. so never take it off

a/n. all these boys are all the dream boys just saying and i would gladly sell my soul to have hair my tied by any one of them thanks

[kawaragi]

hiiiiiii! can i ask what kind of pellets you feed your rabbits? and do you use timothy hay for them? and can i ask for some tips on how to take care of them? i have a rabbit too but it's my first time taking care of one, so i still kinda don't know what to do yet heheheh. it's fine if you don't want to answer though heheheheheh

hi! i’ll answer this ofc hehe im not an expert by any means but these r just precautions me and my sister take from videos about rabbits and even asking my friends for advice ^^ so sorry for the small text!

1) rn we use smallworld’s brand for pellets - it works perfectly fine and my rabbits really like them so it works the best for us !! oxbow is a good brand too and probably recommended by a lot of rabbit owners

2) we use timothy hay yes ! if ur rabbit is really young and small, use alfalfa. and please remember to always always ALWAYS keep your hay stocked and accessible to ur rabbit. this is an important part of their diet and if they dont get to eat hay for a long while, they’ll go into this stage called GI Stasis. its very very deadly for rabbits bc it affects their intestines and since rabbits dont have the ability to throw up or fart it out, their intestines is a good place to check if your bunny is okay.

3) consider getting them spayed / neutered ! i know that pet owners are 50/50 on the spaying / neutering topic, but i’d say it’s quite beneficial. rabbits are territorial and have a dominant-submissive relationship with other rabbits. when unspayed/unneutered rabbits become mature, they will mark the place that is unrecognizable to them as their territory. whether it’s chinning, pooping, even spraying pee everywhere to put their scent on said places. it’s super troublesome and they’ll also try and reproduce if they’re unspayed/neutered because their hormones are going absolutely crazy. if your rabbit is a female rabbit, PLEASE go get her spayed. female rabbits who are not spayed are prone to uterine tumours.

i think thats everything regarding health so let’s talk about bunnyproofing your home!

4) my rabbits are free roamed during the day and we put them back in their cages when we go to sleep and we let them back out the next day. my rabbits are neutered so we don’t really have to worry about their past behaviors of spraying pee everywhere. we blocked out every little space that my rabbits could get into bc theyre very curious little things and could possibly get themselves in danger.

5) keep your cords and cables OUT OF SIGHT!!!! rabbits are so so SOOOO notorious for destroying anything and everything that gets in their way and unfortunately almost every household has a fuckton of cords and cables and theyre all bound to be cut by rabbits. getting cable covers is a good idea but we never got one, my dad just replaces them BDSNBS

6) cardboard r good toys for rabbits and they can chew on them! just watch them and make sure they dont chew too much otherwise it’s possible for them to get intestinal blockages (which i thought song had but… he was jusg constipated and gassy…) sticks are also good!! my mom takes apple sticks from my grandma’s garden and dries them up before giving them to my rabbits :)

7) i live in a carpeted apartment and having rabbits is like … homicide for the carpet :/ if u live in the same type of apartment as me pls make sure ur rabbit doesnt rip up the carpet as often 😭

8) RABBITS CAN BE TRAINED TO USE LITTERBOXES!!!!!! we didnt really have to train my rabbits, they just started using the litterboxes on their own and u can do this by putting their poops in the box with some hay and bc of the scent, it’ll make them think that that is their territory :3 it’ll save u so much trouble and less poop to clean up. other places will advice u to get like chips for the pee to soak in but we just use a regular like pee pad for dogs bc its easy to change out

9) block out any small spaces that they could potentially get into. that includes spaces under the bed, under the couch, behind the tv where there are cords and cables, dressers - i don’t have this problem with song bc hes bigger in size and he knows he cant fit, but i have this problem with sang! hes much much smaller and he fits in small spaces and crawls in them easier and its just a pain to get him out so keep this in mind if ur rabbit is a menace and smaller in size ^

i think thats everything for bunnyproofing? so here r some other like things fhat we do for my rabbits

10) rabbits are just like cats and dogs, they settle for anything in terms of toys - i gave sang a small box and he plays with it and chews on it. its important to give them something to chew on if theyre not chewing hay bc rabbits’ teeth grow out suuuuper fast and u have to keep them chewing on something bc if u dont, and their teeth grow out, it could cause some growth problems!

11) u dont have to worry about bathing them. like at all. rabbits clean themselves way often than normal, they dont smell either! the only times that should be okay to bathe them is if they r really fucking dirty for example soaked in their own pee. do not AND I MEAN DO NOT regularly bathe them bc it sends them into a shock and could even cause death. we’ve had to do this to song and sang before they were neutered bc theyd be really dirty and soaked in pee and it’s just… gross to see them like that. (if u really really have to bathe them, use baby shampoo! its easier for their skin and their fur)

12) fun fact: rabbits LOVE bananas. they absolutely go fucking crazy over it - just dont give them too much fruits like strawberries and apples in one day bc they could get diabetes 😭 we let our rabbits eat as much as they want bc they stop when they dont want to eat anymore of the banana anyway. unless its song. song doesnt stop eating.

13) rabbits are actually very smart! u can put them in a routine with their meals like if u get them used to eatinf at around 11 am or earlier, they know the time of when they’ll be eating. for me tho song runs over to his bowl when he hears the rattling of the pellets in the scooper we have.

14) rabbits shed yes!! u can use a comb to get the shedding off but do not use a wired one. they have sensitive skin like fr fr sensitive skin and wired combs could cause abrasions on their skin which is never a good thing!!!

15) rabbits are, by nature, prey animals. they are naturally good at hiding their pain and sickness so its very very easy to miss them. u can easily tell if a rabbit isnt feeling well is if they are keeping to themselves, their ears are cold, they lose appetite, they dont move as much - something that’s not common to their usual behavior. so always keep an eye out for them!

i think thats everything i could think of ???? theyre high maintenance yeah just like any other animal but they are quite easy to take care of ! theyre also really really funny animals its adorable and i could fr watch them do their own thing every day.

they can be a lil bitch but tbh its so worth it, they are such cute critters. I JUST AGH I HOPE THIS HELPED U CAN ALWAYS SEND ME AN ASK ABT SOMETHINF AND I’LL GLADLY ANSWER IT FOR U!!!

[taejeonie]

dream vs dream

— i can’t find a gif of mark in dream vs dream :(( so take this screenshot :>>

“ncity-“

“hihihi”

“gotta go get em”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

i present to u

markhee(HEE, i saw that reply and i loved it)

bffs forever mwah <3

i swear mark keeps laughing around taehyuck best friend goals

“mic test,,ncity...gotta go get em :)))”

video cuts to taehee moving her chair closer to mark

“hey, what are you doing?”

“i’m moving closer to you. what does it look like?”

“there you go again”

“iS it mY fAuLt fOr wAnTinG tO bE cLosE tO mY bEsT bUdDy?”

and mark just deadass stares at her but there’s this loving look in his eyes yes mark she’s still ur best friend and u love her bc that’s what bffs are <3

“ahh i knew you would be like this”

“how much do you wanna bet we’re gonna ask the same thing?”

“like,,,for real? cause-“

“are you scared, mark?”

“if that’s the case, i’m not betting. i have a feeling we’re gonna ask at least two questions that are the same”

taehee @ the camera: “if we get one of the questions wrong, we’re gonna eat it.”

“wh- HAHAHAHAHA”

“so that we can remember the answer after this.”

“HAHAHHAHAHAHA”

“but then we throw it away if we get it right”

“let’s fold the paper like this :p” MARK IS SO CUTE PLS

“but then eat it if we get right...you have to swallow okay?”

“oKAAYYY DREAM VS DREAM START!”

they play rps

taehee threw scissors and mark threw rock

mark, shaking his head: “you always throw scissors it’s so predictable”

“one day, i’ll throw u off. we’ll see -.-“

“okay, what year did we meet each other?”

...

...

...

“DONT PRETEND U DONT KNOW THIS IS EASY!!!”

“2012. we arrived at the same day, right?”

“right.”

“mark and i were really shy back then so we became each other’s first friends in the company”

“we were,,,13? 13, right?”

“i was 12, u were thirteen. our friendship was going strong,,,until haechan came along so mark started hanging out with him more >:((“

“you and haechan fought a lot back then!!!”

in nana’s voice: “but you chose to hangout with me and you left me all alone (-｡-; “

and mark’s in faux disbelief

taehee and her antics tsk

“okay next question....give me one thing i appreciate about mark lee and why?”

mark’s fLUSTERED TM

everyone loves u dont be shy markus

“one? just one?”

“yeah-“

“that’s so hard there’s so many”

“WOW AND YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT”

“NO NOT LIKE THAT HAHA”

“just answer the question”

“is it...i’m cute?”

“then what’s the reason for that?”

“do you like me?”

“oh no...how’d you find out :OO”

“JUST TELL ME IF IM RIGHT OR WRONG”

“no,,i’ll give u another chance. it’s something that you say”

“my habits? ‘약간’?”

“that’s cute,,but no.”

...

mark snaps his fingers and goes, “AH!”

“when i call you ‘joanie’ becauseeee.....”

“because?”

“it reminds you of your mom?”

“i was going for family but mom works too ;))”

and mark laughs in delight

“yo that was EASY”

taehee playfully rolls her eyes, “your turn”

“what is mark’s sleeping habit?”

taehee’s eyes widen for a split second before answering

“kissing your roommate”

“crawling on the floor”

“what?”

“sleep talking in korean and english”

“that’s right”

“konglish” - taehee, 2k18

“i witnessed it personally and when i do get the chance, i will record it and post it on sns”

“...please don’t”

“you’re right i might get fired”

they both laugh,,you can also hear renjun’s laughter off-screen

“okay next, you’ll know the answer to this if you’re really interested in me”

“i feel uneasy”

“what is my favorite song as of now,,,,”

“uhh ‘better now’?”

“no”

“‘i like it’”

“nooo”

“‘better now’”

“HEY YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS :(((“

“WHAT IS IT”

taehee puffs out her cheeks before giving him a clue

“it’s a song by one of your favorite artists”

mark blanks out for a moment and he’s like

uhhhhhhh

and taehee sighs disappointingly bc so far she’s got two of mark’s questions right

i mean her questions aren’t that hard pfffft

“AH! ‘new light’ by john mayer”

“DING DING DING”

“i told you to listen to it, right?,” mark says proudly

she nodded cutely before singing the lyrics

“oh i want a take two,”

“i want to breakthrough,”

and mark joins her and it becomes the perfect recipe for a louder duo

mark + taehee = loud

“I WANNA KNOW THE REAL THING ABOUT YOU”

and now they’re calm again, “so i can see you in a new light~”

taehee: “applause!!”

cLAP CLAP CLAP

“in how many cities did mark live in?”

“torontonewyorkvancouverseoul”

taehee main rapper we stan

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO FAST AHHAHAHAHAHAH”

“f o u r,” she spelled in english

“mARK LOOK FOUR HAS FOUR LETTERS”

“rEaLLy???”

simultaneously: f o u r.

and they’re both shocked like the five year olds they are so they high five each other

#dreamiesatheart

“what is taehee’s most recent sleeping habit?”

“told you it would be the same”

“yeah but mine has a ‘most recent’ on it? see,” she gestures to the paper in her hand

“you raise your arm when you’re asleep”

taehee’s like >:(( as she puts mark’s hand down when he demonstrates

“there’s another one”

“ahh sleeping on the floor”

“yeapp :DD”

“why do you get on the floor tho?”

“honestly i don’t even wanna know”

“okay in what restaurant did we eat together”

“like...just the two of us?”

“yeah”

“do i have to name all of them”

“name the most memorable one.”

“ah 삼겹살!!!”

“that’s correct but there’s another-“

“김치찌개!!”

“wow you got all of them right”

“paper doesn’t exactly suit my appetite...but maybe it does for you”

mark laughs at this

“wait, see? i’m getting goosebumps right now. what was the first menu mark and taehee ate together?”

“just the two of us? isn’t it 김치찌개 also?”

“yes,” and the girl goes in for a high five

“woah we really wrote the same thing ...”

“we should’ve discussed this earlier”

“okay last question!!! are you ready?”

“yES IM READY,” she shouts causing mark to let out a giggle

“name the film that we watched together in the movie theater”

“train to busan. i loved that movie.”

“that’s right!!”

and they make their 93488293rd high five in the video

best friend tingz

mark laughs, “no one knew about this.”

“yeah we had to sneak out,” taehee says before making that

oops i did it again face

taehee and her escapades the managers have trouble monitoring her sometimes

but she’s a good girl for the most part lmao she still needs to pay rent

“i didn’t want to watch the movie-“

“but i forced him to”

“i thought you didn’t like scary movies?”

“scary movies are fine as long as i’m with....”

everyone expects her to say ‘the members’ but it’s taehee ffs

“...you ;)))”

“oKAAAAAAAAY”

“okay my turn,,,”

“WOAH YOU ACTUALLY GOT ALL OF THE QUESTIONS CORRECT”

taehee suddenly throws the paper behind her shoulder and catches mark off by surprise

“mark,,,,,”

then there’s this look in her eyes which made mark laugh nervously, “whaaat are you gonna do?”

“are you tired?”

“is that the question?”

taehee nods, “ask me why,,”

“....why?”

“because you keep running through my mind all day ;)))”

*finger guns*

chenle and jeno laugh behind the cam while mark attempts to keep a straight face while shaking his head at you

“that was good right?,” taehee’s still laughing as she nudges mark with her knee

“oh really?,” mark says

“then you must be exhausted”

taehee: ( O.O )

“WOAHHHH”

“MARK-HYUNG!!!”

“DID HE REALLY JUST DO THAT”

taehee’s in shock bc??? mark lee??? flirting back???

“wah that was good...”

and mark’s just laughing at her expression

“wah .... i didn’t ....”

video cuts to taehee looking sullen while mark :))

“okay, the score is 5:4-“

“WHAT NO-“

“i’m hurt,,,clearly mark isn’t interested in me”

*proceeds to fake cry*

“hey, that’s no fair. the last question wasn’t even about you-“

*fake cries harder*

when taehee “calmed down” she looks at the camera

she’s still wiping her non-existent tears

acting queen give her an oscar

“from now on, i will try to be less interested in mark”

she turns to mark and makes this cutting/slicing gesture with her hand

and mouths “friendship. over. -.-“

“she gave the wrong questions. that’s why-“

“wHAT CAN GET MORE PERFECT THAN THESE”

bleep

“this was dream vs dream which ended in my victory. thank you for watching!!!”

they give each other a bro hug

and when taehee pulls away she looks down and pointed at mark’s shoes

“tie your shoes properly!!”

“but they don’t-“

“i don’t want you falling for anyone else ;)))”

mark shoves her causing taehee to go out of frame

“HAHAHHAHAHA- HEY!”

“tHAT WAS BAD I DONT EVEN HAVE SHOE LACES”

“IT WAS GOOD THOUGH!!”

“try to come up with a new one, i heard you use that on yuta-hyung already.”

“whatever-“

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 11-15

 LETS GO ROUND 3

episode 11: the other brothers elric part 1

yeet this thing edward

ok who r these so called other brothers

“METAL FATHER”

this girl’s uncle is sus. he’s now known as uncle lemons.

THE STONE???? WHOS MAKING A STONE 

oh shit they got kicked to the curb

“THE REAL ELRIC BROTHERS???????” WHOSE ASS

i bet “alphonse” is the taller one

never mind

this twink is annoying

on your knees???????????????????????

ed plz

oh twink doesnt need a circle but doubtful he’s opened a portal of truth

he’s got philosopher’s juice instead i suppose!!

wheres mugear or whoever

oh found him

LUST <3

girly looks hot 

anyways

oh its uncle lemons

these townspeople are annoying as shit

wow what a parallel tragic backstory

operation mole hole

what is the cough sub plot

i have questions

hmm there we go thx fletcher

ugh the twink is back 

and now he’s an attempted murderer

OH FUCKKKKKKKK

great going twink your brother is gonna die

his villain origin story 

uhhh what? part 2 i guess

episode 12: the other brothers elric part 2

fletcher is a homie

ed’s window dive was so dramatic

i literally cannot tell you what the twink’s name is

he is just twink

mugear is suspicious 

he’s not even an alchemist??? bro

who is nash tringham

is he important other than in this specific episode arc

nash tringham and uncle lemons definitely got naughty back in the day

to be fair what is uncle lemons’ name? i do not know

like i cant be expected to remember every one bit character’s name? especially when i have all this other fma knowledge floating around in my head

MARCOH!!!!!!!

why is ed sitting in the tree like that

ed: “google earth...always taking pics”

what is this stone making process with pregnant ladies who thought of this

lets all throw mugear in a septic tank

sussssssss

edward is so unimpressed by this mans

HAHA yes edward my son

“it’s been a good while since i killed anyone. i kinda miss it.” EDWARD YOU KILL ME LMAOOO

uh oh he’s got a red water gun or somethin

so fletcher is the plant alchemist i see

twink’s name is RUSSELL????? how did i miss that

wooooooof sucks to suck mugear

thats A LOT of red water

fletcher’s alchemy is so weird

from the redwood forest to the gulf stream waterssss

what in tarnation is this boy doing

i guess we have another prodigy on our hands okayyyy

why do i feel like we’ll see the tringhams again

uncle lemons strikes again with LEMONS

whats in the letter????

from russell??? why r u so embarrassed edward

thats mighty homosexual of you good sir

episode 13: fullmetal vs flame

so this one is called fullmetal vs flame which makes me think theyre animating that bonus chapter??!!!??!!! yes!!!!!

colonel sarcasm?? nice ed

i too enjoy mocking roy toy

al found a cat

he definitely did

yup

um who’s yelling

probably mustang that dumpster fire of a man

BREDA!!!!!!!!!

black hayate!!!!!!! baby!!!!!!!

FUERY!!!!! he’s so small

breda is a mess omg

havoc is a mess too

kitty! “he called to me” precious al

these boys are a trainwreck 

oh sad kitty flashback

mustang is such a freak 

yeaH i wondER if mustang knows marcoh hmmmmmm HMMM

“names not familiar” yeah sure baby all yall ishval war criminals know each other

ARMSTRONG!!! hey!!!

ummm wtf fuhrer bradley 

UM WHO IS THE LADY UM

hughes is a mESS

ed’s gremlin face gives me life

roy with hayate...im scared

take that dog away from him

yayayay bonus chapter fight scene!

shut up miniskirt man 

oh no take the mic away from hughes

“you just want a promotion!!!” “give back my girlfriend!!!” im dying

i too would love to put a fist in mustang’s face

“too slow” damn idk that was kinda hot

but no im still gonna kill him

he’s so stupid

this is so chaotic

oooh cut the glove yessss

ope never mind

oh great he’s getting flashbacks... well shit happens when you commit war crimes

“ehhh???”

oh hmm theyre saying ishBal in this one instead of ishVal

ill probably still write ishval im more used to that

oh no black hayate she’s gonna pop a cap ive seen this clip before

she did it

“strict mommy” oh um ok

poor kitty cat

scar IS heather

episode 14: destruction’s right hand

back in liore with some more amestrian war crimes on the docket for today

ayyy envy our favorite morally corrupt they/them

gluttony’s snack time

new op lets gooooo

im not vibing as much but hey its kinda poppin

oh hey armstrong what up baby

to be fair ed did meet marcoh with armstrong in manga canon so

hahaha no thats not the fullmetal alchemist...thats alphonse!!!

marcoh’s voice sounds different hold on 

yep different VA

dr marcoh’s alchemical oobleck 

oh hey basque grand u sexy mustachioed bootlicker you shouldnt be here

what the FUCK he’s a weapon of mass destruction

i wish so hard netflix let you screenshot so i could add pics for added value!!!

if philosophers stones fall under grand’s jurisdiction then he is VERY SUS

he aint it

ope hey scar 

this is an odd amalgamation of plot points

oops boy bye

ive always enjoyed scar’s CLEARLY adidas brand track pants

ummmm why did scar’s brother have BROWN hair

i- ok

i miss j michael tatum

ooooooh armstrong baby i was wondering where you were!

rose!!!! tell him!!! fuck u hakuro!!!!

trying to help?? dont make me laugh you’re a general in the amestrian military

episode 15: the ishbal massacre

kinda early for the ishval talk imo?? wonder what we’ll learn

armstrong is literally the buff rasputin trope on tiktok rn

“accidentally” shot an ishvalan child. hmm yeah no

envy just sneezed

HEY KIMBLEE YOU LITTLE SHIT

kimblee looks like christmas came early

they gave roy a stone??????? sounds noncanonical but ok

basque grand is literally wildin out fuck that guy

yuriy and sara’s skeletal remains just sneezed in the ground

wait a damn minute

wait a fucking minute

did roy

shoot

yuriy and sara

ROY SHOT WINRY’S PARENTS

and now hes gonna shoot himself

IM 

im taking a lap around my apartment OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLLL

IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS 

FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE

im texting my sister about it right now and just SCREAMING

OH NO NO NO MARCOH DO NOT TELL ED WHO KILLED THE ROCKBELLS

oh good he ran away

i literally CANNOT handle them finding out about this

ahaha roy shoots the gun in the air again

roy take that glove off its raining

riza’s leg sweep was way less funny this time

WAIT IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT ROY WAS AT THE HOUSE AND SPOKE TO WINRY AND PINAKO

i mean hes no idiot he knew

what did marcoh just do to scar im confused

nothing will ever make sense to me again after what ive just witnessed

feral al lets gooo

so this episode’s events were pretty similar. other than marcoh.

AND THE FUCKING ROY MUSTANG ISSUE...,........... 

OH NOOOOOO 

MOMS VOICE???

MOMS VOICE????

episode 15 said hey bitch lets watch your world come CRASHING The FUCK DOWN

[wizardnuke]

tagged by @natasharxmanov thank u I love this

1. Which avenger would you recruit to help you plan your birthday?

NOT tony he'd get overexcited. uh I'd say clint or natasha because clint knows how to have fun without like setting off fireworks and paying beyonce to show up or something and natasha just has good planning skills

2. Which avenger would you switch suits with for a day?

tony please GOD I wanna wear the iron man armor SO BAD guys

3. Which avenger would you want to train with?

steve! I bet he's a really good teacher

4. Oh No, you need help! Which avenger would you call if you’re in trouble

it highkey depends on the type of trouble, if I was like locked out of my house I'd call natasha because she'd pick the lock, but if I got like arrested I'd probably call tony bc bail money yknow

5. Uh oh, you got arrested, which avenger were you with?

yeah speaking of getting arrested. 100% steve. we got arrested for some sort of aggressive protesting shit. destroying hostile architecture. punching a politician. barfights. steve call me anytime let's go

6. The Avengers are playing basketball, which avenger would you pick first to be on your team?

natasha bc while she doesn't have the height she has the ability to climb tall people very very quickly and also she's like really fast

7. You’re trying to make your ex jealous, which avenger do you pretend to date?

hm. hmm. much 2 think about. we're polyam so like. hm. very hard to make her jealous. but in the end I'd say natasha bc she's kinda like natasha in terms of personality and she'd notice so nat's like my ex 2.0 and she'd realize I got a fuckin UPGRADE jk we're on good terms, she's great, danae if you're out t

8. You’re out for a good time, and need a wing man/woman, which avenger do you pick for the job?

clint is absolutely a fantastic wingman

9. You woke up with a hangover, which avenger were you drunk with?

I challenged thor to a drinking contest in a fit of disillusioned self confidence and pride and got horribly drunk after one shot. im 94 pounds

10. You’re going on a road trip, which avenger do you ride with?

tony! he's the funniest avenger (it's one of his superpowers) and I feel like a lot of the avengers would plan the trip pretty strictly, but he wouldn't

11. No way! You slept with one of the avengers. Which avenger did you wake up next to?

this took some thinking but in the end I have decided that I had a threesome with steve and natasha. thanks for coming to my ted talk

12. Your favorite band is having a concert, which avenger goes with you?

STEVE so I can sit on his shoulders I'm v small

13. You’re going shopping, and need second opinions, which avenger do you trust to help you pick out outfits?

tony 100% the man may be a fucking disaster but he knows fashion

14. Your parents want to meet one of your new friends, which avenger do you take to meet your parents?

steve, but only if it's before our arrest. if it's after said arrest and my mom knows he's willing to do crimes with me then I'd pick sam, no he's not one of the og6, I don't Care, he's the best at social interaction

15. You get injured on a mission, which avenger would you trust to be in charge of your care?

bruce is the classic choice and after all this is a 2012 avengers blog Only so it'd prob be him, also he's like the calmest of all of them and really nice and I will readily admit I'm kinda grumpy when I don't feel good so yeah

16. Your room is a mess, which avenger do you pick to be your butler, and clean your room?

bdjdnfknfkfn uh I would feel so bad doing that I don't even wanna think about it but I bet bruce is the tidiest out of all of them so it'd be him. sorry bruce I wouldn't make u do that

17. You wanna play a prank on the team, but need help. Which avenger do you pick to help you prank the rest of the team?

CLINT he's. so chaotic. this is a 2012 era and matt fraction clint stan blog. OR tony because he's very very creative and would come up with something fuckin wild

18. Time to buy Christmas presents, which avenger is the easiest for you to buy for?

thor! I'd buy him something thats like humanity exclusive. moon shoes. a snuggie. or oh my god a fushigi he would lose his MIND do they even make those anymore

19. You’re going on a mission but only one other person can go. Which member of the team do you choose to go with you?

steve. he's durable. intimidating. somewhat capable of stealth. brilliant strategist. hot as fuck

tagging @antifaironman @daredeviil @oluka @in-a-cave-with @lovelyirony and anyone else that wants to do it!

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Twelve

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn.

Word Count: 7.1k 

A/N: Friends...this was ALOT. I didn’t edit it too much cause I was so excited to get it out to you so, please forgive any typos. I hope you like it!

Warnings for this Chapter: language, smut, mentions of anxiety/ insecurity, DID I MENTION THERE WAS SMUT OH MY GOD IM ON FIRE

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 12: Pain and Pillow Talk

“Did you talk to him?”

Yoongi shifts on the lawn chair, gnawing on his bottom lip. He looks nervous.

“Uh…yeah I did. I hope that’s ok, I know it wasn’t really my place, I just…”

Your brows furrow as you place a hand on his thigh, the arm rests from your chairs touching one another.

“Whatever you guys talked about, must have worked. I walked by the bedroom after I went pee and, I heard noises that I could have lived the rest of my life without hearing.” You laugh and, Yoongi’s posture softens, chuckling along with you. His hand moves to rest on top of yours, nimble fingers curling under your own.

Yoongi cat eyes flit to yours, a nervous smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, “Jungkook and I, share the same…uh situation.”

“Do you have a crush on Jimin too? Cause seriously, if you do, I won’t be mad, just know that half of this city has a crush on him so, the competition might be a little rough.”

You smirk, eyes holding his, biting your lip in an attempt to reign in your laughter. Yoongi snorts, relaxing further as he shakes his head.

“No, I’m a little preoccupied with another crush I’ve been dealing with, thank you very much,” He answers quickly, eyes narrowed and accusing as they point directly at you. His answer makes you want to kiss him. Although, most things he does make you want to kiss him. “But uh…Jungkook and I both like…everyone, regardless of, gender or…anything like that…”

You throw your teasing smile out of the window, eyes softening as you squeeze his hand gently. It touched you that Yoongi felt comfortable enough with you to discuss his sexuality and, you wanted to ensure that you handled the information with respect.

“I’m really happy you decided to share this with me, it means a lot. Thank you.” You lean over to kiss his cheek and, the soft skin quickly heats up at the brush of your lips.

Yoongi looks slightly confused, his eyes narrowing again as he regards you carefully.

“What?” You giggle under his gaze, your fingers interlacing with his, shaking his hand lightly.

“You don’t think it’s like…weird or anything?”

“Weird? Of course not. First of all, your sexuality is 100% valid, 100% of the time and, there is nothing to be weirded out by. Second of all, my two childhood best friends are currently having sex upstairs so; my ability to be shocked is kind of lost to me right now.”

Yoongi smiles then, a chuckle breaking past his lips as he nods, “That’s fair. Well…thank you, for being cool about it. I’ve usually had to do more explaining in the past or, sometimes, people aren’t as uh…cool about it.”

There is some pain in his eyes as he finishes his sentence but, you refrain from pointing it out, choosing instead to squeeze his hand again.

“You can talk to me about it as much as you want but, only if you want to. I’m always here either way…” You assure him and, Yoongi leans in suddenly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You smile into it, leaning against him before he pulls away, his eyes containing a renewed softness.  

“Thank you…seriously.”

You’re still sort of smiling as he pulls away, nodding your head in acknowledgement, “You’re welcome.”

He smirks, looking at you for a moment before his hand comes up to scratch behind his neck. He directs his gaze towards the rest of the party that had yet to settle down.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket and, you move quickly to retrieve it from your pocket, hoping to receive some sort of update from your friends.

BROS FOR LYFE (JIMIN): Kookie and I are gonna stay at my place tonight, is that ok with you guys?

A smirk is on your lips as you see the text come through.

Guess the time they had in the bedroom wasn’t enough.

BROS FOR LYFE: It’s ok as long as you guys aren’t driving.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): We’ll get an Uber, Mom, don’t worry.

BROS FOR LYFE: then, you’re good. Have fun ;)

BROS FOR LYFE: wait, where’s Tae? Aren’t you guys supposed to be driving back in the morning?

BROS FOR LYFE (JIMIN): We saw him on the way out of the room; he was heading into another room with some girl.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): They were making out, it was really gross.

Shaking your head, you respond, your brows rising

BROS FOR LYFE: I’ll call an Uber too

BROS FOR LYFE (JIMIN): Noooo Y/N just come with us, it’s ok, we can have them stop at your place first, or you can stay at mine

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): Or you can stay at yours…

You giggle at that, knowing damn well that staying under Jimin’s roof would be a bad idea.

BROS FOR LYFE: It’s ok guys, I’m still hanging out with Yoongi and, I don’t know when he’s planning on leaving. Also, I can take a hint Kook, I’ll find my own way tonight but, like, you two have fun. Just try and remember that Jimin’s neighbor is a sweet old woman named Helen who would probably have a heart attack if she heard what I heard earlier.

BROS FOR LYFE (Jungkook): lmao get rekt Helen

BROS FOR LYFE (JIMIN): Helen is a freak Y/N, she’s hit on me ever since I moved in.

“Everything ok?” Yoongi’s looking at you curiously, smirking as he notices you giggling to yourself.

You bring your attention to his; still laughing lightly as you nod to your phone, “My friends are abandoning me…”

“Wait why?” Yoongi chuckles, eyes darting to the upstairs bedroom momentarily. “Did they not…finish up yet?”

“Apparently not. Tae was our DD but, he’s upstairs too…doing god knows what.”

Yoongi shakes his head, smirking in disbelief before he brings his gaze back to yours, a slight hint of nervousness appearing in his chocolate eyes. “I can take you home, or you can…stay at mine, we live really close. It’s up to you…”

A smile finds your lips, giddiness swirling in your chest as you cock your head, trying to play it cool.

“Do you want me to stay the night Yoongi?” Your tone shifts lower to tease him, your knee nudging against his causing him to roll his eyes. Pink cheeks always give him away though and, you bite your lip, enjoying the affect you have on one another.

Pursing his lips, he smirks, trying to contain a much bigger smile. He’s still trying to play it cool too, even after everything that’s happened between the two of you.

“You can, if you want to.” He insists, almost defiantly, nudging your knee back.

“Do you have to wait till your friends leave?”

He shakes his head, eyes wandering over the rest of the backyard, which was still displaying dozens of party goers, “No, Namjoon and Hoseok drove separate, we followed each other here, cause I couldn’t remember where this place was…”

“Alright, you ready to go then? Or did you want to stay and hang out for a bit?”

Yoongi stomach does somersaults as he looks toward the door eagerly, his head shaking, “No, I’m ready….are you, staying with me? Or am I taking you home?”

You smile, starting to stand up, brushing your hands on your jeans before turning towards him, offering a hand to him, “I’ll stay with you,”

Yoongi’s stomach could have joined the Olympics at this point but, ever the cool guy, he tried his best to refrain from literally jumping for joy.

He smiles  ( :] ) taking your hand, interlacing your fingers with his as he lets you lead him out of the party.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You came on a good night,” Yoongi explains, as he’s unlocking his front door, smirking slightly as he turns back to you, the door cracking open. “Normally, this place is a disaster but, Hoseok had a girl over the other night and, actually decided to clean up for once.”

You giggle, nodding in understanding as Yoongi leads the two of you inside, “Is he the messy one?”

Yoongi snorts, nodding, “Yes, in more ways than one…”

You snicker, stepping through the threshold, your eyes scanning your surroundings. The house was pretty nice. The walls were painted white and littered with various photos full of the three men who lived in the house and, what you assumed was their families. As the two of you walk passed the front hall, you enter the living room which displayed a giant flat screen and, a black U-shaped couch that essentially took up most of the room. To your left, Yoongi pointed out the kitchen, complete with modern appliances and barstools at the front of the island. You wondered how they ended up in such a nice house but, you decided it wasn’t really your place to ask but, it was certainly an upgrade from your tiny apartment.

“My room is over here but, you’re uh…welcome to sleep out here too if you feel more comfortable, it’s up to you.”

Yoongi sounded nervous, far more nervous than you’ve heard from him in a while. You turn towards him, smiling softly, taking his hand in yours, “As comfortable as the couch looks, I think I’d rather sleep in your room, with you, if that’s ok…”

He relaxes slightly but, only slightly, his furrowed brow smoothing out as he returns your smile, his fingers lacing with yours once again.

“It’s right down the hall here,” Yoongi gestures to a hallway that extends from the living room, still holding your hand as he leads the way. He’s eager as all hell but, to you, he seems relatively relaxed.

The thing is, Yoongi had never had anyone he liked in his room before. This was mainly due to the fact that the last real crush he had was in high school and, Yoongi was far too terrified to talk to him. So, as far as romance goes, Yoongi is like brand new in this department, he doesn’t know what he’s doing and, he’s really afraid he’s going to mess things up. The last person who slept in his bed was Hoseok and, even then, Yoongi never really developed feelings. For the longest time, Yoongi assumed he would end up alone. He was fine with that. Then, you came along and, quite frankly fucked him all the way up, both figuratively and literally (lmao). He’s really trying to take things slow but, it’s difficult when you keep doing and saying all the right things. Yoongi feels comfortable messing around and, pretending like everything is SUPER CHILL but, deep down, he’s desperately trying to suppress the fact that he’s falling for you. Hard.

He opens the door to his bedroom, ushering you inside, hoping to god that you can’t hear how fast his heart his beating. You smile as soon as he turns the light on, revealing the room to you. The first thing you notice is the smell, clean laundry, you weren’t sure if his detergent was just potent or if he had an air freshener somewhere but, either way, his room smelled amazing. He steps in behind you closing his door softly, biting his lip as he watches you scan the room. Yoongi’s room is tidy, everything in it’s place. Black shelving adorns his walls, holding various photos and, sports memorabilia, his bed is covered in a fluffy black duvet that looked ridiculously inviting at the moment. A desk sits in the corner of the room, holding a big monitor and several synth pads and speakers. In front of the desk sits a computer chair that has a jersey hanging on the back, Agust D stitched into the material.

You turn back to Yoongi smiling, feeling his nervous energy, “Do you make music in here too?”

He nods, shifting in his stance slightly as he moves toward you, his eyes flitting to his desk, “Sometimes yeah, I can’t always afford studio time but, I have everything I need right here. It’s just better to work at the studio; they have all the equipment I prefer working with…”

You shuffle over to his desk, careful not to touch anything cause like, this is his passion and, if you broke something you would be mortified.  Fondness is practically screaming in your chest as you notice a few characters on Yoongi’s desk: some from cartoon shows, some from basketball teams.

“Did you make the beat that you rapped to?”

He nods again, moving to sit sort of awkwardly on the corner of his bed.

“Yeah it was a beat I had for a long time but, I kept toying with it until I finally got something I liked…”

Turning away from Yoongi’s desk, you move to set your purse on one of his nightstands.

“I really hope you keep at it, you’re so talented it’s insane. I’m surprised you haven’t put your stuff out there…”

He blushes, shying away from your compliment as he picks at the skin around his fingertips.

“Stop,” He chuckles, looking over at you, “…it’s just a stupid beat I made.”

Your eyes widen incredulously, “Yoongi…nothing about your music is stupid like, honestly you were so good. You’re definitely in the right field…you had me swooning over you and shit, it was embarrassing.” You giggle and, Yoongi’s brows raise, a smirk on his lips as he cocks his head.

“You were just checking me out the whole time? How do you know the music was even good then?” He teases, his heart swelling 2000 times bigger at your praise.

You chuck a pillow at him, giggling, “First of all, I check you out all the time so, that wouldn’t have affected my judgement, second of all, if you released a mixtape, I would be the first person to buy it and, that’s not just because I like you, it’s because, your song was that good.”

Yoongi chuckles, looking away from you for a moment, his eyes shifting around, trying to figure out his response, he sighs and then looks back you, a renewed sense of softness in his gaze,

“Thank you, that’s uh…that’s really kind of you to say.”

“You’re welcome…Agust D…” You break the slightest bit of tension, a smile on your face as you move to the button of your jeans, undoing them before starting to shimmy out of them. Yoongi snorts at your comment but, honestly, your praise renewed something in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Maybe he would release his mixtape….

“I hate wearing jeans…” You mutter, brow furrowed as you struggle to tug them down your legs.

Yoongi feels another sensation stirring in his pants as he sees the lace of your underwear. Images of the last time the two of you were together playing on a loop in his head as he he looks away from you again, frustrated at how easily you could fluster him.

You managed to get your jeans off before slipping your bra out of your Team Jungkook t-shirt. The clothes were folded and set on the floor before you turn your attention back to Yoongi.

“Are you ok?” You prod gently, confused at why he was avoiding your gaze.

He sighs, nodding as he turns back to you, averting his gaze from your underwear, “I’m good I…I uh normally sleep in just my boxers, if that’s cool with you...”

“Yeah, of course…” You trail off, not convinced by his answer.

He’s nervous. You could feel it in the air of his bedroom, his tension radiating off of his body.

“Let me…uh,” He starts, trying to speak over the lump in his throat as he stands, pulling his jacket off before his finger pinch the neck of his t-shirt and pull it over his head. You’ve obviously seen Yoongi without his shirt on before but, there was something about it that really got you. He had a bit of a tummy and, you honestly had to resist the urge to pinch it. You busy yourself with pulling his duvet back, stealing a glance or too towards him in the process. He pulls down his jeans, bending down momentarily to collect his clothes off of the floor to throw them into his laundry basket.

“The remote is on the nightstand if you want to turn the TV on, I have Netflix…” He murmurs, padding over to his dresser to take his jewelry off.

Why is that attractive? Why are you still staring at him?

Turn the damn TV on…

“Should we finish the dragon documentary? That should put us right to sleep…” You joke, your thumb pressing on the power button of the remote.

Yoongi chuckles, turning towards you momentarily, “No.”

You laugh in return, his smile lingering on his mouth as he turns back around to finish what he’s doing.

“Your loss, dragons are the #1 sleeptime aid in the world…”

“Shut up.” He chuckles again, finally feeling himself relax as he turns back towards you.

Yoongi is going to die.

That’s it, that’s the final straw.

When he spots you, cozied up, underneath HIS duvet, on HIS bed, in HIS room, he literally feels his heart being assaulted in his chest. Your eyes are narrowed in concentration as you browse Netflix, not noticing Yoongi’s minor breakdown in the corner of the room. Subconsciously, you use your free hand to push back the duvet, inviting Yoongi to the spot next to you. He sighs, heart choking in his chest as he makes his way over to the bed, he pauses near the light switch, hesitating slightly, looking over at you.

“Is it ok if I turn the lights off? Or do you need them on?”

Yoongi sleeps in absolute darkness and, knows very well that, if he has to leave the lights on, he will probably have some serious trouble falling and staying asleep. However, he knew of one of your greatest fears and, he would rather deal with a sleepless night, than deal with you feeling afraid.

“Oh yeah, go ahead, I don’t sleep with the lights on, I just have some source of light, like my laptop or my TV or something….” You smile mid-sentence, your gaze moving to his, “Thank you though…”

Yoongi nods, returning your smile before flicking off the lights and, approaching the bed. There’s a stirring in your chest as he slides in beside you, heat radiating off of his body as he does. Yoongi feels his anxiety rising once again, unsure of how to deal with all of the feelings inside of him. He wants to hold you, of course he does but, he’s not sure how you feel about him. The two of you were having sex quite a bit, sex that was so good that it left an impression on him.

He knows you like him but, how much? What if you were just having fun?

What if you didn’t feel the same? What if he was just a good time to you? Were you like that? What if-oh…

You move towards him during his internal crisis, your body, soft and sweet smelling, tucks into his. He feels goosebumps form on his arms as your hair touches his bare chest, the annoying organ under his sternum asserting itself once again.

The increase in Yoongi’s heartrate didn’t go unnoticed. You felt it against your cheek as you snuggled into him, a soft smile on your lips. It was hard for you to understand why you affected Yoongi this way; he always seemed so calm and collected. You knew differently however, you knew he was always feeling more than he let on.

“Comfy?” You murmur to him, as your hand rubs gently against his ribs, attempting to reign in his nerves.

Yoongi is annoyed with himself, he doesn’t understand why he reacts so wildly to your touch.

“I…no…I’m sorry, I’m not…” He stutters, cursing himself for making this otherwise sweet moment, incredibly awkward.

Your heart sinks slightly and, you pull away from him, sitting cross legged in the center of the bed, eyes widened in surprise.

“Shit…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed you wanted…I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable…” You amend, feeling your cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

Yoongi joins you in sitting up, his face twisted in discomfort, he reaches for you then, placing his hand on yours as he shakes his head.

“No…no, it’s not you, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just…fuck, I’m sorry…” He wipes a hand over his face and, his cheeks are on fire at this point. “You did nothing wrong, it’s my fault…I’m the one being awkward.”

You accept his hand, your head tilting curiously but, you stay silent, knowing he had more to say.

“I’m not normally like this…I,” He sighs, his free handing wiping over his face, “Everytime I’m around you, I feel like…this feeling about you and, I don’t know how to convey it or…ask for…I don’t know what do…shit, I’m sorry I can just take you home if you want, I understand if you don’t want to stay…”

Your brow furrows then, confusion evident on your features, “Yoongi, I don’t want to leave…just talk to me yeah? What’s going on?”

A breath comes out of his nose then, his chest flushing to match his cheeks, he’s fully embarrassed, he doesn’t even know what the fuck he is trying to say, let alone, how to say it.

“I’m not used to wanting to…do stuff… I guess, I’m sorry…I know its… “He cringes at his confession, regretting every single moment that has recently passed, wishing desperately that he was more casual, like Hoseok, or articulate, like Namjoon. But he wasn’t. He was Yoongi and, Yoongi had spent many years denying his own feelings thus, denying his own desires.

You smile then, everything becoming apparent, a relieved giggle passing your lips. The sound brings Yoongi’s gaze back to yours, his heart stalling momentarily.

“I would hope you still wanted to have sex with me, we’ve only been at it for the past week…” You attempt to joke with him, trying to lighten his mood and lessen his embarrassment.

“You don’t understand though, it’s every time we’re alone, my mind, sometimes, just goes straight to sex and, it feels wrong sometimes...like it’s inappropriate and, when you leave or, when I leave, all I can think about is you and…what we do together and, I’m turned on all the time, I feel like I’m in highs school again...it’s really distracting and, I feel like I’m being…gross” He agonizes, trying to understand why you’re so relaxed. 

“Yoongi,” You’re giggling again, scooting closer to him, “there’s nothing gross about wanting someone…I feel the same way about you.” 

His expression relaxes slightly, his eyes shifting around, “You do?” 

“Yes,” You scoot closer then, your knees touching his as your thumb soothes over his knuckles. 

“…I mean, every time we’ve done anything, it’s been because I came onto you so…” 

Yoongi’s face turns up then, his body relaxing further as he nods, “I guess you’re right about that but, it’s only because, I don’t know how to…ask for it? Or come onto you? Fuck…I sound ridiculous…” 

“Ok that’s it…” You mutter, pushing his hands to the side before nudging him back against his headboard and settling into his lap, your panties against his boxers. He gulps, biting his lip as you do, a smirk sort of playing on his mouth. “You are not ridiculous, or gross, or weird, or anything like that…I like you…” 

You kiss his lips then, so soft and sweet, “I want you…I think about you…” You place a kiss on his mouth between each dose of reassurance, your fingers lacing with his. “You don’t have to feel ashamed…” 

Yoongi’s breath is picking up slightly, his lips responding against yours, “I don’t want to feel ashamed…I just have so much going on inside my head sometimes…I don’t know what to do with it.” 

You nod, understanding very well what that’s like. Moving from his lips, you sit back on his lap, admiring the way he looks illuminated by the light of the TV. 

“With me…” You smile at him, your expression softening as the two of you regard one another, he can’t help but return your smile as he feels his anxiety slowly leaving him. “I want you to feel like you can talk to me ok? I know it isn’t easy and, shit gets complicated but, I really want to make you comfortable, this is all new to me too, I’m not expecting anything from you, I just like being with you...” 

Your words melt the remainder of Yoongi’s frigid fear, his heart singing in his chest as he pulls you closer against him, “I like being with you too...” 

Settling against the warmth of Yoongi’s bare skin, you wrap your hands behind his neck, leaning in to nudge your nose against his, “Cool, so we’re on the same page...” 

“I guess...” He mutters stubbornly but, his nervous energy is clearly diminishing as he leans into your lips, a renewed sense of playfulness in his eyes. 

“Kiss me you fool...” The dramatic flair in your voice would normally warrant an eye roll from Yoongi but, this time, he just shakes his head, a low chuckle rumbling between the two of you as he presses his lips against yours.  

He takes his time, kissing you slowly, his hands still on your hips, squeezing gently as he does. This time, kissing him felt different, you could feel how relaxed he was under your touch, his breath leaving his nose gently as you slide your hands up in his hair. Your nails scratch gently at his scalp whilst Yoongi slowly introduces his tongue to the kiss. You accept him graciously, letting yours play against his. The kiss is dirty, filthy even but, neither of you are rushed to further things along.  

Yoongi’s hands explore the skin over your hips, his fingertips admiring the softness, rubbing against your hips. You nudge his nose, nibbling on his bottom lip for a moment before, reconnecting once again. Yoongi’s hardening against you, his boxers stretching over him as he presses himself against your panties. You smirk into his lips knowingly but, say nothing, choosing instead to begin kissing into Yoongi’s neck.  

Nuzzling against his neck, you place a few whispery kisses against his skin, taking time to find the spot that makes him shiver the most. His breath hitches slightly as your lips reach the apex of his neck, near the beginning of his collar bone.  

“I...” He stutters out the syllable, an inquiry heavy on his tongue, his dick plumping further in his boxers. “Can you...bite me?”  

His voice is low, shaky but, certain, the rasp in his tone going straight to your clit. You nod, dragging your teeth gently against his neck, causing another shiver to run through him, his heart picking up in his chest.  

Testing the waters, you bite down on him gently, your lips suctioning against his skin. You feel his hips rise up slightly at your motions, his head lulling back against his headboard, providing you better access.  

“Harder...” He doesn’t ask this time, his dick fully erect against your panties, mouth agape.  

You smirk to yourself before giving him what he wants and, sinking your teeth into his skin. Not hard enough to draw blood but, pretty damn close. You suckle his sensitive skin into your mouth, laving against it with your tongue, knowing full well that your motions will leave a mark.  

“shit...wait...I…oh fuck...” Yoongi’s breathy voice, desperate and wanton, claws its way out of his chest, his hips stuttering beneath you, his hands clutching yours. His boxers were sticky against the inner parts of your thighs, the sensation causing you to pull back, alarmed. Yoongi lets out another breath, his head thrown back in pleasure, his cheeks dusty pink with embarrassment.

You bite your lip, watching him in disbelief, wrapping your brain around the fact that he had just cum from you biting his neck.

“Shit,  shit…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…” His breathless, his chocolate eyes widened in shock as he comes down from a pretty powerful orgasm. Yoongi is mortified and, quite sure that if you didn’t want to leave before, you would definitely want to leave now.

“Shhh…” You whisper, moving in towards his mouth, capturing his lips. Shaky breath escapes his nose as he cautiously kisses you back, his whole body feeling rather sensitive.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…I don’t know what happened, I just felt your teeth and…” He’s stuttering at this point, his words swallowed against your kisses until you finally break away from him, giggling as you do. Your eyes hold all the fondness in the world as you bring your hands up to hold his cheeks.

“Why are you apologizing for cumming?”

“I…I don’t know, you didn’t finish or, we didn’t fu…” He trails off, narrowing his eyes at you, “See? You’re laughing at me, oh my god, I’m so fucking lame, please just leave me here to wither away and die…”

Your giggles grow in volume then as you try to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks that are now squish between your palms, “I’m not laughing at you... listen to me…”

Yoongi is full on pouting between your hands, his own hands bracing themselves against your hips, feeling slightly uncomfortable in his now, sticky boxers.

“You aren’t lame…” You assure him, a smile lingering on your lips, “you’re fucking hot and all we need to do is get you hard again but, we can’t do that if you wither away and die can we?”

Yoongi snorts his eyes shifting from side to side before finding yours again. He can feel himself plumping up at the mention of you getting him hard and, although he’s thoroughly embarrassed, he doesn’t doubt your ability to do so.

“No, we can’t…” He agrees, cat eyes peering deep into yours as he lets out another breath.

“I don’t want to hear you criticizing yourself anymore, understand?” The tone you use is firmer than normal and, Yoongi perks up at the sound of it, nodding eagerly in response. You smirk, your suspicions slowly being confirmed one by one. “Say it aloud…”

“I..I understand…” He breaths, eyes completely locked onto yours

“Good boy…” You whisper against his lips before pressing a gentle kiss to them

Yoongi feels his heart skip a beat at the nickname, his dick continuing to swell in his boxers.

He’s never recovered from an orgasm so fast but, the way you’re talking to him, the way you’re ordering him around, it’s doing something to him.

A smirk finds its way onto your lips, “You like that don’t you?”

He nods again, rendered speechless, he’s captivated, his embarrassment diminishing once again.

“Do you want to be my good boy Yoongi?” Still smirking, you take his lip between your teeth, the movement causing him to let out another, sharper breath, his body turning to puddy beneath you.

“Yes…” His voice is muffled by your teeth, his nipples hardening at the sound of your voice. It was still you but, something had shifted, you sounded so powerful, so sure, and so fucking sexy.

“I’ve had my suspicions about you…” You release his lip, hands releasing his face and moving to his hands that we’re now clutching on your hips. Lacing your hands with his, you bring them above his head, pinning them against his head board, pressing his skin into the wooden bars. Yoongi feels a whimper at the back of his throat, his neck stretching to watch the movement of your hands, gritting his teeth lightly.

“The night I dyed your hair, you whimpered when I tugged on it, when we fucked in your car, you gave yourself to me so willingly, the other night, you came so hard when I scratched you…” You’re listing out the bits of evidence and, Yoongi’s eyes close, overwhelmed by you, shaky breath escaping his nose. When he opens them, they’re black with desire, wide with submission, his gaze goes straight to your pussy. “…and now, you came just from me biting your neck…”

“I like pain…” He blurts out, his voice trembling but assured, dark eyes still staring into yours. There’s no shame in his explanation, his inhibition slowly shredding with each passing moment. “I know you do…” A giggle passes your lips as you press his wrists harder into the wooden bars.

“It makes me really hard…when I jack off, I dig my nails into my thigh, sometimes I choke myself too…bet you didn’t fucking know that did you?”

His challenging you, he knows it. He wants to rile you up, he wants to let go for once…

He wants to get fucked up.

For the moment, you’re speechless, not expecting Yoongi to be so forward. He was usually quiet, subdued, even shy when the two of you went at it. You had never seen the wild look currently in his eyes, you want more of it.

“ Doesn’t surprise me…” You counter glancing behind you, toward his closet, trying to figure out your next move. “ Do you have a tie or something?”

Yoongi smirks, knowing full well what you were thinking, “Are you planning on tying me up Y/N?”

The sound of your name sounds sinful on his plushy mouth and before you can answer, Yoongi speaks up again,

“The only way I’m letting you tie me up is if you use those panties you’re wearing, which I’m pretty sure are soaking wet by now…”

His request throws you for a moment and, your mouth falls agape momentarily, a detail that doesn’t go unnoticed by him and, this time his smirk grows, his head cocking to the side, eyes still taunting yours.

“Ask me nicely then and, you might get what you want…” Your breathing is growing slightly uneven. Yes, you were very comfortable fucking Yoongi into next week but, this, the way he was talking, was new territory for you.

He wasn’t wrong though, your panties were soaked…

“Y/N?” His eyes go wide with innocence now but, his tone is still taunting, “Will you please tie me up with your panties?”

Biting your lip, you snap, releasing his wrists before moving off of his lap, slipping off of your panties and, straddling his waist yet again.

“Wrists up…” You order and, he obliges, still smirking and, as you hold your panties on your fingers you return his smirk, leaning down momentarily, brushing your lips against his, “By the time I’m finished with you, you’re gonna be so fucked out that you won’t remember anything but, the way my pussy feels around you…”

Yoongi gulps, his smirk faltering as he opens his mouth, leaning up against your lips but, you don’t respond, choosing instead to pull away. He sighs at the loss of contact, obsidian eyes shooting up to where his wrists are, watching intently as you use your panties to tie him to his headboard.

You sit back on him, admiring the way his body looks, stretched out and vulnerable to you, his cheeks and chest flushed, his nipples hardened, his stomach trembling as you run your nails over his hips.

“You said you liked pain right?” You whisper, eyes sultry as they hold his, your fingers moving delicately over his skin.

He nods, hips rising slightly against your touch, his dick painfully hard in his boxers, “Yes…”

“How does this feel then?” You dig your nails into his pale skin, scratching hard over his hips, leaving aggravated ruby marks with your movements.

Yoongi throws his head back, a gasp leaving his lips, his eyes shutting tightly as he nods again, “Good…do it again please…”

You want to admonish him for demanding you but, you don’t want to discourage his newly found confidence so, instead, you oblige. Dragging your nails over his ribs this time, you press harder, scratching him all the way down to the band of his boxers. Yoongi shivers, his face turning up in a mix of agony and pure pleasure, a smile appearing on his lips.

“Holy…fucking shit…” He chuckles, his vision going hazy as he tries to focus on you, the sensations in his body overwhelming him. His lips are wet, his dark gaze flitting between your hands and your face, “I’m so hard right now…”

“I can feel that, you’re twitching around underneath me…” You quip, fingertips brushing over his clothed length, the motion causing him to jump slightly.

“I don’t think I can wait anymore…I feel like I’m gonna cum again and, I want to last for you…” He sounds slightly panicky, his breath picking up as you start to grind against his dick, your bare pussy pressing into his boxers. “Please…please fuck me…”

You bite your lip, smiling down at him, rolling your hips against him once again, a low whimper breaking past his swollen lips as you do.

“Do you think you’ve earned that Yoongi? Do you think you’ve earned my pussy?” You whisper, grinding against him again and, you can only imagine how raw his wrists must be from how hard he’s been fighting against his ties.

He shakes his head vigorously, his expression growing smaller, staring up at you, adoration creeping into his gaze, “I could never do enough to earn your pussy jagi…”

The words hit you like a ton of bricks, your stomach dropping as you lean down to his lips, kissing him suddenly. He responds, his lips eager as he moans into your mouth, his arms burning from how much his straining but, he couldn’t give less of a fuck.

“That was a good answer…” You giggle and he returns the sentiment, chuckling into your mouth.

“I meant it…”

You tug his boxers down his legs, resisting the urge to take his swollen length into your mouth. His dick is pulsing with arousal, some of it still covered in his previous orgasm. Yoongi couldn’t recall a time where he had been so hard in his life, his brain filled with nothing but, you

“Don’t cum until I say…” You assert, stroking him in your palm before lining him up at your entrance, your pussy aching to be filled by him.

Through his whimpering, he nods, his hips raising against yours, completely desperate for you, “I’ll be good for you jagi, I swear…just please, I can’t wait any longer.”

So, you oblige, slowly sinking down onto him, taking every bit of him that you can, the feeling sending a sinking feeling into your stomach.

“Shit…” He gasps, sweat forming on his forehead, his gaze zeroing in on where the two of you are joined, the sight alone making him drool.

Your nipples harden under your t-shirt and, you take the opportunity to pull it off, exposing the rest of you to Yoongi’s hungry gaze. The sight of you fucks him up everytime, his gaze being pulled from your cunt to the rest of you, his eyes looking up at you in awe.

The pace on his dick quickens, causing both of you to be short of breath, his length curving up in just the right place, white hot pleasure wickedly coursing throughout your body.

“You’re so fucking pretty...” Yoongi’s shaky voice makes your clit throb, your hands coming down to brace against his injured hips as you start riding him faster.

He’s staring at your face now, not even glancing toward the rest of your body, his tone certain and unyielding, “You know that right? You know how pretty I think you are right?”

Yoongi will admit, he’s not thinking clearly, his logic is out to lunch, everything about you turning his brain to mush.

“You should look in a mirror sometime…” You quip, meeting his intense gaze. The resolve within you as breaking as it usually does and, you already feel yourself nearing the edge.

“I can’t believe it…I can’t believe I have someone so pretty…riding my dick so fucking good, I must have been a good boy huh? To get so lucky?” Yoongi is blabbering at this point, his eyes going in out of focus, the corners of them collecting moisture and, he feels like he’s gonna cry if he doesn’t cum soon. Then again, he feels like he’d cry regardless…

“You’re the best boy Yoongi…you deserve to feel this good all the time, I want to make you feel good all the time…will you let me? Can I keep fucking you this good?”

Hips are frantic now, your clit begging for attention, throbbing and buzzing between your legs and, you finally give in, the pads of your fingers rubbing against it, the motion causing you to tighten around Yoongi’s length.

His eyes bug out then, your words and the tightness of your cunt becoming too much, “Y/n please, please can I cum, please, I can’t…I…”

“Cum for me baby…” You whimper, your resolve breaking completely as you feel yourself tip over the edge, your head falling back on your shoulders as your pace picks up fully, the sound of skin smacking on skin echoing throughout the room.

“Thank you jagi...fuck thank you so much…”

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Roughly fifteen minutes later, the two of you are curled up under the duvet, your fingers gently applying cream to Yoongi’s shaky hands. His expression is one of pure bliss as he lets you tend to him, his heart melting as you press a kiss to each of his wrists.

“Thank you. “ You murmur, as you finish rubbing the cream into Yoongi’s raw skin, biting your lip as carefully tend to the more sensitive spots.

Yoongi watches you fondly, admiring the way you look, face flushed, glowing under the light of his TV. His brow furrows, voice still not 100%, “For what?”

“For tonight, for sharing more of yourself, I  really appreciate everything you told me…everything…” You smirk, catches his glance for a moment before giggling, returning to what you’re doing.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable before so, you should be thanking yourself…” He insists, returning your smirk before leaning in and, kissing you, his lips taking you off guard.

“I’m happy you feel so comfortable then…” You amend, giggling against his lips as he pecks you over and over, your hands coming up to hold his cheeks.

“Stay in the morning yeah? I want to make breakfast…” He insists, smiling softly as he pulls you closer to him.

“Can I have it in bed?”

He smirks, leaning towards your lips, mischief in his eyes, “I’ve made it pretty clear that you can have whatever you want in bed…”

You giggle again, kissing him, pushing his disheveled blonde hair to the side, “ I’m holding you to that…”

“Good.”

Good: the biggest understatement of all time.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x09 Commentary PART 1

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat : alright you all set?

Giulia: One moment. I gotta pee

Nat : ugh

Zee: Jesus Giuls

Nat : pee through your eyes

Zee: Soon

Giulia: K im set

Nat : alright

Nat : go

Giulia: Oooh are we getting jack again

Nat : Why do we have to watch it again

Zee: Because

Zee: Let’s go to purgatory

Nat : 12 hOuRs

Giulia: Hate this

Zee : Oh here we go

Nat : He could have put the thingy tighter around Sam

Nat : hElPiNG

Giulia: COME ON

Zee : Come the fuck on

Giulia: damn it

Zee : Good guy

Giulia: ASSHOLE

Zee : Yes Eileen

Nat : BeCauSE YoUR sUCh a GoOd GuY

Giulia: WEAK

Giulia: yuck

Giulia: STOP

Zee : No

Nat : Shut up

Zee : I do t wanna

Nat : my god

Nat : oh

Giulia: snort

Zee : The eyebrow is up there

Giulia: Definitely in trouble

Nat : Can he stop his face

Giulia: Also did u catch misha fumbling with the shellcase lol

Nat : I was distracted

Giulia: DON T TOUCH MY BOY

Nat : "It might get messy"

Nat : hah

Giulia: god knows everything

Giulia: U dick

Giulia: Bye dean

Nat : That happens when they can't swear

Zee : The music isn’t good

Nat : Because Dean would obviously say "dick" of course

Giulia: Chuck you fuck

Nat : you sick fuck

D: Whatever. We need to go.

C: To Purgatory.

D: Chuck has Sam. I'm not leaving him.

C: Chuck's not gonna kill him. That's not the ending.

Giulia: That’s not the ending

Nat : How do you know CAS

D: Wh... Then he'll torture him.

C: Dean, will you stop?

Giulia: Being so stupid

Zee : Tell him cas

Giulia: Snort, ok cas

C: If we attack Chuck now, we don't have anything that can hurt him. We get that Leviathan blossom, complete Michael's spell, build the Cage. That's our chance.

Giulia: Oh cas

Giulia: My bb

Giulia: Taking charge

Giulia: Delicious

Zee : He can’t do it

Giulia: AH he afraid

Nat : WEAK

S: But when it's time to get your hands dirty, you can't do it. You just like to watch.

Nat : W

Nat : E

Nat : A

Nat : K

Zee : Sam’s sass gives me life

Giulia: PATHETIC

Zee : Pathetic

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat : UGH NO

Giulia: WHAT AN ASSHOLE

Zee : No

Nat : CHUCK YOU SICK FUCK

Giulia: FUCK U

Nat : I said it for Dean

Giulia: WOW

Zee : Ouch

Nat : OW

Giulia: BABIES

Giulia: HOW ARE THEY SO CALM

Nat : That's some fucking kink he has going on there

Giulia: BENNY

Zee: I want Benny

Nat : Aw Benny

Giulia: WhAT

Nat : Fond memories

D: Okay. Let's split up. C: What?

D: You go that way. I'll go this way. We'll meet back at the Rift, alright? We'll cover more ground. We'll better our odds.

C: Yeah. We'll also improve our odds of getting lost or killed. Come on.

Giulia: Wow cas does not have time for dean today lol

Zee : Cass is telling dean what to do and he’s listening

Nat : CAS HAS NO FUCKING PATIENCE LEFT WHATSOEVER

Zee : Wow

Nat : I'm here for it

Giulia: LOOK AT THAT SICK ASSHOLE FUCK

Giulia: YES

Giulia: STOP

Nat : Fuck Ew Ow

Giulia: SAM SHUT UP

Nat : Sam's right

Giulia: oh wow they gave him that line

Zee : I wanna go 

Giulia: Because you are a sick fuck

 Nat : I'm actually not really watching

Giulia: Cute

Zee: Yuk

Nat : Aren't we glad that we don't have to endure commercial breaks

Giulia: LOL WHAT cass

Nat : That's a different corpse. lol

Zee: Hello

Nat : Who is that

Nat : Ah

Giulia: IT’S SUDDENLY VERY WARM HERE OK

Zee : As simple as that

Nat : lol

Giulia: snort

Nat : Embarrassing

Nat : lol

Zee : Fuck

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat : I can't meet them in May

Giulia: ALREADY HATE THIS

Nat : I can't take it

Giulia: same

Zee : Shut up both of you

Zee : Awe dean

Giulia: how is this monster so calm

Nat : Everybody has heard of Benny

Giulia: NO SHUT UP

Nat : NO

Nat : FUCK YOU

Nat : NOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: HE LIES

Giulia: I DON T TRUST HIM

Nat : I HOPE

Nat : I MEAN WOULD YOU TRUST A LEVIATHAN

Giulia: I DON T WANNA LISTEN TO GOD

Giulia: Oh no

Nat : Oh no

Zee: April 17

Giulia: Don t wanna see that

Nat : 17. april

Giulia: Lol florida man

Giulia: SNORT

Giulia: Me

Nat : Dean lol

Giulia: CASS BB

Zee: Resting my eyes

Nat : CAS

Giulia: JODY

Nat : Cas is still annoyed af

Zee : No

 Nat : NO

Giulia: SHUT

Giulia: UP

Zee : NO

Giulia: DON T

Zee: Claire

Nat : THERE IS NO WINNER

Nat : Apparently

Giulia: I SWEAR UGH NO

Nat : It never stops even if they would win

Giulia: AW

Zee: Cass is looking good

D: And he sacrificed himself to get Sam out of this place.

C: Well, this place will bring that out in you. Guilt. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day.

Giulia: CAS BABE SHUT UP

D: I know you're sorry, Cass. About Bel, about Mom.

Giulia: omg Cas is so done with everything. Love it.

C: I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you.

Giulia: SNORT

Giulia: AH

Giulia: AH AH

Zee : Bitterness

Giulia: YIKES

C: You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.

Giulia: * is ded on the floor*

Zee : You didn’t stop me

Nat : 6.01.2021

Nat : Uh

Giulia: Uuuuh

Giulia: Amazing

S: Now, if Cass was still here, he could've healed them.

D: Yeah, well, he's not.

Nat : Cas is not there

Giulia: Yuck

Zee : The monsters are winning

Giulia: Nice legs

Giulia: I was distracted

RANDOM LEV: Killing her alphas, swallowing her Leviathan.Bringing you to her should earn us a nice reward.

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : Fuck you

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Giulia: NO

Nat : BB

Giulia: oh no the flowers

Nat : What happened

Giulia: WHRE IS CASSS

Giulia: JDBDOALSBDISGCDKAL

Nat : 3.11.2021

Giulia: SAM IS SPIRILING

Nat : They are still hunting

Giulia: DEAN IS DEPRESSED

Nat : Sam is still hunting

Nat : restless

D: What I've been trying to say for months.

Zee: Stand down

Nat : He's tired alright

Giulia gets an email from the Hilton hotel about the room reservation she was waiting VeRy CalMLy

Giulia: NO HILTON HOTEL SHUT UP

Zee: My stomach hurts

Giulia: WHAT

Nat : WHAT

D: Ever since the Mark made Cass go crazy?

Giulia: WHAT

Giulia: WHATT

Nat : WHAT

Nat : WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

D: Bobby has a death wish, and you know it. And Jody... ever since what happened to Donna and the girls, she does, too.

Giulia: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GURL

Nat : DONNA?

D:And after Eileen... so do you.

Nat : EILEEN

Giulia: STOP THIS SHIT

Nat : EVERYONE IS GONE

Giulia: NO

Zee: I’m leaving

Giulia: I WANNA GET UP AND FUCK OFF

Nat : Who's actually Butch and who's Sundance?

Nat : Even if they win they lose

Nat : WHAT THE FUCK

Nat : I DON'T WANNA WATCH

Giulia: HATE THIIIIIIS

S: Dean, what happened to going out swinging?

D: We lost, brother. We lost. I'm done.

Nat : ALRIGHT GOODBYE GUYS

Giulia: IM LEAVING

G: I'm just the messenger, Sam.

Giulia: NO ONE BELIEVE YOU SICK FUCK

S: No, the Dean I know... the Dean who raised me...he'd never give up, no matter how bad things got.

Giulia: THE DEAN WHO RAISED ME

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: SOOOOB

Nat : What does that say about them that I wanna quit the espisode when I'm halfway in and I don't even care what comes after

Giulia: NO I STILL CARE ABOUT CASS

Giulia: AND IM AFRAID

Nat : I DON'T WANNA WATCH

Giulia: dean still looking for cas jn purgatory

Giulia: I DON T WANNA

Nat : Will Dean leave Cas behind?

Giulia: STOP

Zee: I’m crying

Nat : SHUT THE FUCK UP DEAN

Nat : I DON'T WANT THIS

Giulia: STOP MY HEART

Nat : FUCK YOU

Giulia: AAAAAAH

Nat : I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYES

Giulia: MY HEART

Giulia: SOB

Nat : THAT'S PROBABLY PEE

Zee: It’s called tears Nat

Giulia: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK

Giulia: NO

Giulia: STOP THAT FYCKI MY SHIT GSLAVDHAKDHEJWBE

Nat : I'M FUCKING SOBBING AND THAT'S NOT OK

Giulia: DEEEEAN

Zee: He’s broken

Nat : SHIT I WANNA HOLD HIM

Giulia: IT S TOO EARLY FOR THIS, IT’S 8:32 AM

Giulia: IM BROKEN

Nat : I don't know why I get so angry

Nat : AW BABY

Giulia: IM SO ANGRY

Nat : COME HERE

Giulia: STO l  Dnbdsno NO

Nat : I DEFINITELY CAN'T SEE THEM IN MAY

Giulia: BABE

Zee: SAY I LOVE YOU ALREADY

Nat : FUCK THIS SHIT

Giulia: FUCK

Nat : flips a fucking table

Giulia: FLIPS MY WHOLE HOUSE

Nat : OKay

END OF PART 1 because it was so fucking heavy and I don’t want your computer to blow up 

.

.

PART 2

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​  @destiel-honeypie​      @mariekoukie6661​      @dragontamerm​       @closetspngirl​    @rainflowermoon​     @mattiecat​       @bunnybaby121115​  @aliaitee2​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​     @4evamc​       @dammitsammy​     @legendary-destiel​   @winchesterprincessbride​    @destielhoneybee​​    @castiellover20   @ravenhg​ @evvvissticante​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @markofdean79​​

[exhoe-imagines]

*cue nervous laughter cuz i bias all of exo* may I pretty please ask for Minseok/Xiumin? I've been missing him a lot lately

omg you can request all of exo, dw!! i just wasn’t sure which group you wanted, since we write for a lot 😅 but i’ll give you some extra soft minseok content too hehe

-

minseok - bro,, the snow boi JUMPED OUT. he wants to be in the snow at every chance, just saying. snowboarding? sign him up. skiing? he’s already on the top of the hill. snow angels? he’s already made 12. however, if you decide to join him, he will put you in 30000 warm layers and scold you for being reckless, before kissing your cold nose :3 in all honesty, he LOVE LOVE LOVES cuddling with you by the fire after being outside… he won’t admit it tho.. sorry.

luhan - now,, i KNOW this is an old joke, however, luhan still uses the deer as his icon so im allowed to capitalize on this. he’s got a pair of reindeer ears he wears everywHERE and there is NOTHING you can do about it. they have little bells on them and sometimes you wake up at 3 am bc he’s shuffling around in bed and they’re jingling and you’re DETERMINED to make him sleep on the couch the next night :))

yifan - ok we all know that ONE friend who eats all the winter snacks they can get their hands on, right? well, that’s yifan. he’s got a cookie plate for himself and he snacks little treats all day every day. maybe he’s got some spiked eggnog, too. just prepare for him to be on a sugar high (and maybe a little tipsy) at all times. also, you WILL have to rub his little tummy after he downs a dozen cookies in a row. oops.

junmyeon - ok baby myeon is THE house decorater. i’m sorry. but please be ready to help out. “honey, can you pass me the hammer?” “junmyeon, do we really need lights above our bed?” “of course.” unlike zitao, he refuses to have silver/minimalist decorations, so prepare for your whole house to become a whole ass cabin. the middle-aged pinterest mom jumped out.

yixing - i feel like he’s the Winter Traveler. “it’s too cold!!” he complains, before dragging you on a pre-planned trip that he tries to make seem impulsive. like, yeah sure, you just HAPPENED to have a hotel in our name, in a warm country, with all accommodations already sorted out. sure. but honestly, you see what he’s got planned, and where you’re going – and you’re not complaining. who would be?

baekhyun - ok,,, baekhyun is the music boy. he’s got the holiday songs playing in SEPTEMBER. he’s got twelve different winter playlists. some are uplifting romances and the others are ballad breakup songs. he’s always dancing or he’s sobbing over this sad song, and when you try to skip it, he throws a tissue at you and screams to not touch his speaker. good luck.

jongdae - “i really think it’s time i get my life together.” new years resolution? screw that. jongdae is starting EARLY. he’s got a new skincare routine. he’s ONLY drinking water. he’s even sleeping earlier!! and then you wake up one night to go to the bathroom and he’s not in bed. you find him in the living room with a glass of wine, surrounded by 7 empty boxes of pocky. “oHPE- IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.”

chanyeol - GINGERBREAD HOUSE KING. ok.. listen.. he’s NOT good at them. AT ALL. the walls fall every second, and the ceiling is definitely caving in. there’s icing in his hair and on his nose, but he’s GRINNING and making tiny gingerbread cookies of both of you. “babe, look what i made!” “c-channie is that a deadpool cookie?!!?!”

kyungsoo - LET ME JUST S A Y. YOU WILL BE EATING GOOD. COOK!KYUNGSOO DID NO T COME TO PLAY. PREPARE FOR GOURMET DISHES ALL SEASON. HE’S TALKING TO HIMSELF LIKE HE’S ON FOOD NETWORK. HE’S GARNISIHING THE PLATES WITH SOME GREENS. also you do actually watch cooking shows, and he wont stfu. “yah, why are they using the ice cream machine with 7 MINUTES LEFT!?”

zitao - god ALMIGHTY if this boy spends a lot during the rest of the year – you better literally put his credit card in the FREEZER when winter/holidays roll around. “zitao is that a new gold and diamond watch?!” “babe it’s ok i got you one too!!” “that is NOT why i’m angry.” also he loves a good white christmas, so enjoy all the silver glittery decorations that will take ages to clean up :))

jongin - ok we all know about spring cleaning, but let jongin introduce you to a new concept – the winter clean. this basically means, he’s suddenly becomes sick of the entire house and decides it needs a revamp!! your eyes will melt out of your head when you see the bills coming in from the mall, and he just whines. “babe, my clothes were OLD. i needed a new Winter Look :).” “jongin you’ve done this TWICE in one WEEK.”

sehun - ok so we know he dresses up as santa for kids but honestly that’s his outfit for all of winter. he’s got santa pjs and a santa hat at the ready at all times. he’s got santa slippers for around the house. santa face masks. santa socks. literally everything. even vivi has a santa suit. if you’re his s/o, prepare to be matching him bc he’s gonna buy u a set of pjs too ;)

-

- admin ruby

🌙 SLEEPOVER SATURDAY🌙

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[its-3am-sadness]

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuckfuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

Monday February 11th,2013:

well..i hate myself. terribly. fucking. little. cunt. thats what i am. a fucking bitch. a pussy, more like a pair of balls.. pussy's are actually quite strong.. so im a pair of balls. GROSS!.. i like pussy better.. whatever. so anyway.. i hate how much of a bitch i am. im so mean to everyone. im not good enough for shawntay. i dont deserve jake and i feel like i treat both of them like shit.. i dont mean to. they're both my whole world..damn.. i couldnt live with out both of them.. i really couldnt.

Conversation on Saturday Night:

me: how isn't it? if you go then you wont have to worry about me.

Jake: ill worry more

me:no

Jake: yeah i will

Me:no

Jake: why cant i?

me: Because..you just cant. you shouldnt. its not worth it.Never. You should leave before you get hurt.

Jake: this isnt about right now anymore is it?

me: i guess not..

Jake: cause ive told you before im not leaving unless you stop loving me ima be here for you until you dont want me to and ima be with you till you break up with me, i love you and im gonna stay through thick and thin. you wont hurt me. You wont.

Baby i friken love you and i wanna be with you no matter what im yous i dont want anyone else but you and im gonna stay okay?

Me: i hurt everyone. i want to be with you. i am in love with you. but i am so hard and difficult. i push every single person away because i just tear people down. i dont want to do that. You are so amazing and that cant die.

how can i call that mine? that is a way to good for me kindda guy.. ive fallen in love with him. but he is way to good for me.

Tuesday February 12, 2013:

i almost cut last night.. i lost it and i started crying terribly. my mother is such a damn bitch. i cant handle her anymore.. she's having surgary on the 25th of this month.. but shes forcing me to appologise for being 'rude' to my brothers wife.. fuck that.. she told me i didnt appriciate anyone.. you dont tell someone who hates themself, who seriously cant stand to look at herself or hear herself, you DONT TELL THEM THAT THEYRE NOT FUCKING APPRICATIVE! what the hell.. so i have anger issues so i flipped out, not to her, just annonmusly over facebook & shes not even my friend on there so fuck her. seriously. and my mother is sticking up for HER, an not ME. bitch.. i have enough shit i dont need to deal with this, its from over a month ago.. i hate my mother.. she fucking came running downstairs screaming at me for taking something that i really didnt.. i didnt even know what she was talking about.. why... im always to blame. FUCK HER! god... she makes me want to kill myself. she thinks that i look up to her and that she's this perfect little angel and does everything for me.. but all she does is make me feel like shit.. i mean we have our moments that we get along an laugh an are friends. when we're friends we're totally fine, but than she turns in to over protective bitch mode.. i hate itt.. i dont wanna stay after school to get extra help.. and shes fucking making me. i hate it. i hate her. i want to get the fuck away. HELP ME! i need to be saved.

Wednesday February 13th, 2013:

theres not a lot of time to write here today...i only got about 3 minutes.. but damn.. i wanna die.. im not going to stopo myself tonight if i wanna cut. i gotta do it.. its to hard. my parents and my one brother are douches..they fucking dont know when to stop making me feel like shit.. i hate it. goddamn.. i cried so much last night.. i wish i were alone.. it'd be easier not to worry about hurting someone.. i hate myself. im absolutly disguesting. fat, ugly and just so gross.. i hate what ive become.. i cant stop myself. it's who i am now..

my razors fell out of my case this morning, it was scary i thought that someone was going to ask me what they were when i bent to pick them up.. i was so shakey.. i hate myself. ughhh. fuck. i hate everyone, my self the absolute most though.. good bye..

Thursday Febraury 14th, 2013:

well.. i stopped the 21 days last night.. 16.. 2 on my thigh, they're small. and the rest between my two arms. im such a fail..

Jake did the cutest thing ever.. he put a bunch of choclate kisses in my locker & taped it saying 'i <3 u' i keep blushing today.. i just told someone i like they're hat & he said he liked my face, i blush to much, i dont like him even, but it was kindda a compliment, soo.. *sigh* i hope shawntay doesnt get mad at me.. i told her i cut in our notebook, i havent told jake & im nott gunna unless he asks.. i cant tell him.. i HATE THAT THEY CARE!!!!!!!!! ugh... i just hurt eveyrone.. i make everyone want to kill themselves.......... FUCK.

ive been handing outt 'my little pony' valentines today.. only 4 gurls, and like 15 or more guys.. the girls are Shawntay, my friend Kenzie, Tabby & Heather. God.. all of them are so FUCKING gorgeous..ugh.. i seriously wish i could be even half as pretty as them.. Shawntay, everything about her is perfect, i wouldnt change a thing. Perfect long hair, flawless skin, perfect body.. McKenzie, she's in love, happy, so beautiful. Tabby, SO gorgeous, i find her easy to talk to and i think we could be pretty good friends. i love her hair.. i want it terribly. and Heather, her makeup, my lord is it always so damn perfect. no flaws to it, always perfect all the damn day long. She may be a bitch sometimes, but she's also hillarious as fuck. i could see me an her being better friends then we are, but not anything long-best friend. but damn.. i wish i were them..

Friday February 15th, 2013:

last night i broke down terribly and cried for hours.. i could stop. my douche fuck parents.. goddamn.. i wish i could just love them and call it good. but my mom comes down and bitches about facebook.. so now i have to delete it.. god. she controls every damn thing of my life.. she doesnt even know what tumblr is or instagram & she fucking wants me to delete them. HELL TO THE FUCK NO! dumbass. i hate her.. she ruins my life..

Tuesday February 19th, 2013:

okay..well this is reallly really stupid.. but on friday, i realized that with my ex boyfriend, he fucked her while we were together & i had sex with him countless times after.. so now i obviously did something wrong. it showed me how worthless i am & how much i seriously fuck people up..it's all my fault. i loved him wrong. i treated him like shit and look where that's gotten me.. im such a pathetic fucking fail of life. i hate myself.. im used and worthless. im the damn slut of the fucking family for fuck's sake!! my oldest brother just got married & the other just got engaged.. ugh..

ive been starving myself latley too.. it's kinda hard because i love eating, but ive been not eating lunch for about a week & i rarley eat at home soo..

[blue-hi]

i’ve been awake since 4:30 am and it’s 9:00 now so i need to get this out because it’s been months and i havent been able to spit the whole thing out and i need to SAY something so i think i’ll jst yell into the void so

thanks

ive had insomnia since at least mid october. cant really remember now when it started. i’d keep waking up in th emiddle of the night, always around 2 or 3 am and it would take ages to get back to sleep.

ive never been one for all nighters and i like getting a full night’s sleep and all of a sudden i wasn;t getting it and for no reason too. this scared me. it still scares me. i reached out to my mom for idk emotional support??? i didn’t want to be alone

“this happens to other people too” started out as a way to help but the way she said it sounded like she was dismissing me and what was happening. like it would all clear up soon so i had no reason to bother her

then the week before halloween almost all my classes assigned projects or had a test and they were all assigned at the same time at the end of the week and were all due at the same time on halloween. the saturday before halloween and after i got all the assignments i slept particularly awfully and i just broke down in th emiddle of the library. like all day and i couldn’t stop. that scared me even more bc if it happened once it can happen again

im terrified. that’s the core of the issue

that day my mom and aunt got me a plane ticket to fly home for the next weekend to see if being home would fix things. we even had a doctor’s appointment it didn’t fix anything. the doctor told me things i already knew but also decided i had generalized anxiety disorder and that was why i couldn;t sleep even though i wasn;t scared until after it started and i slept terribly that night again. i was hysterical. i still had no idea why i couldn’t sleep i shouldn’t have paced that loud in the hallway but yeah i wanted attention i felt alone. maybe it was selfish but i just wanted a hug and i knew then i was in for the long haul and i didn’t want to be afraid AND be alone but my mom just yelled at me (which she had the right to i was being not-great) and i felt i was burdening her. that’s when i realized she either can’t or won’t be there with me or both

i went to the counselor at my school and i just vented. not all of this but some of it and i had other problems at the time like my major and some classes but those had all worked themselves out by the end of november i also went to the health center and got a little bottle of this drug called hydroxyzine and that started helping a little bit. i was taking tylenol pm every night before that and apparently this was something stronger

then thanksgiving rolled around and i was still having some issues. one thing i remember most vividly is twin and i were going to drive to our dad’s house for the day. normally i drive but i handed the keys to twin because i hadn’t slept well and didn’t feel like driving. my mom noticed and asked why i didn’t want to drive and i SHOULD have lied and said that i wanted twin to practice but i told he truth and said i felt too tired to drive and she rolled her eyes at me later in the break one morning she asked me how i slept again and i said poorly and i was still half asleep but i swear she scoffed

then i knew i REALLY couldn;t expect her to help me. not even with the sleeping but just with support.

i went back to the school counselor (different person though) and! my mom still doesn’t know about that visit. she doesn;t know that counselor said that insomnia sometimes predates depression symptoms. should i tell her that? that’s also terrifying. i managed to get out of high school without really any mental illness issues so i;m a lucky one but that’s what i’m scared about going forward

i feel like it’s not as serious as it feels and that no i don’t have anxiety and no i don’t have depression (yet) and that i should just suck it up until i do but also i can have emotions because i;m a fucking person and ‘m allowed to tell people about them without feeling like a burden or a fake bc god forbid i have a single negative emotion in front of someone. i’ve always been a “good girl low maintenance child” and FUCK that

weirdly i started to sleep well during finals week and these past 2 weeks on break too but i think that’s because the hydroxyzine started to kick in. except oops now my supply is low and i have about a week or two left until i completely run out and the little bottle says NO REFILLS LEFT so i have to figure out how to get more for the semester last night i tried to go to bed without taking one to see if i’ve gotten any better. news flash nothing’s changed without it and now everything that had gone away in the last 3 weeks all the anxiety and hopelessness and tiredness and terror all came back last night and right now i feel like i;m back in the library again bc i can’t stop crying

what if i can’t get more before the semester starts?? if i’m like this during break what’ll happen when i have to stress again?

i came downstairs at 8 to do organic chemistry on khan academy because if i can’t sleep then i might as well do something productive. mom came down to get ready for work and she saw me and asked me if i was upset about not sleeping again

i was an idiot and said yeah - that’s what i hate too. i want to be honest about mental health with people and how i’m doing but to stop this i need to lie to her. now i’ll always be fine! and she never has to know if i;m in a bad way just as she likes it and i feel a w f u l about it. it makes be feel petty and petulant but i’m non confrontational. i want to tell her everything i;ve written here and just be so honest she has to listen to me instead of dismissing me every time but every time she asks i clam up and i failed again this morning she accused me of wanting to feel scared because “i hadn’t tried everything yet”. she and family members for christmas sent me some things that are supposed to help like a light developed by insomniacs or a winter light and i really do appreciate all of it, but they all came when the medicine was working so i didn’t NEED it. last night was different because i am a scientist and am my own guinea pig and i wanted to see what would happen if i didn’t take the drugs. i’ll use all of that tonight in Phase 2 of the Worst Experiment Ever but she wouldn’t LISTEN to me when i said that either.

now i’ll just say nothing. why should she know it’s only caused both of us stress. i wish she would take this (insomnia! depression!! mental health woo!) as seriously as she took my acne when i was 12. still now if i have a zit she feels entitled to touch my face. do you wanna know how you can help??? stay away from me and don’t wonder why i kind of want to tell her. she’s coming back home in a couple of hours bc it’s new year’s eve and i might still be in a state who knows but i’ll choke again and she’ll yell at me again and nothing will have changed

people have asked me how my semester went and “it’s been a shitty one,” i wanna say but normally i just say that i’m glad it’s over only for my parents to swoop in and say “it can’t have been all that bad i mean you did well with your grades in the end” like !! i pulled that B in physics out of my ass! just because i did ok academically because i’m lucky and good at school doesn’t mean my health was great! my dad can’t help me either because i’ll say that my mental health recently isn’t as good as it could be and he just goes “aww sweetie.” and that’s it. nothing else. thanks dad. i know you don’t know what to do with that information and i don’t fault you for that because emotions have never taken precedence in either household (except for all the curse words i learned from my mom when she’s inconvenienced)

all of this and i still don’t know why i can’t sleep normally

thanks for reading this fkn novel all of this has been on my chest for a LONG time and i haven’t had the chance to say any of it and if i get the chance i’m afraid i’ll forget something (i probably did here, too). i truly mean thank you. this has been cathartic to write, even though i still need to go to a counselor or something. i hope your new year (and decade!) is bright

[loveseungs]

better better

➳ pairing: kim seungmin x reader ➳ word count: 7.0k [ 7056 words ] ➳ warnings: bulletpoint scenario ➳ genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, band au ➳ a/n: two words, stan day6 ➳ summary:

in which your life is a sad music video revolving around the world’s most famous sad music video concept: unrequited love.

❝ because of you, i’m better, better, better baby.❞

- you always knew that it was jisung’s dream to be in a band - i mean, of course you knew,,, when you’re neighbors with a schoolmate for years, you kinda get close - funny story, you and jisung actually used to bicker all the time when you were little—you weren’t always on the same page - it started when he, your neighbor (who was also seven-years-old like you at that time) mocked your favorite t-shirt -“eW what ARE YOU WEARING!!!! WHO WEARS A CAREBEARS T-SHIRT AT OUR AGE!!!!” - U WERE READY 2 THROW HANDS - WHO WAS THIS SQUIRREL-LOOKING BOY WHO WAS MAKING FUN OF THE T-SHIRT THAT BROUGHT U LOTS OF COMFORT - ??? it wasn’t UR FAULT THAT CAREBEARS WAS THE SHOW YOUR PARENTS MADE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU WERE A TODDLER - IT GAVE U STRENGTH OK,,, - unable to come up with a coherent answer, tears began to fill ur eyes and u began to sniffle - “YOU’RE MEAN!” - from that moment on, you never got along with your neighbor - it was really to your surprise that you went to the same school - but whatever, right?? u decided to avoid him like the plague for YearsTM,,, and he did the same to u - idk u just,,, yall didn’t vibe with each other - anyhoozle, when you turned 12, you began to take interest in music - there was smth u just. really liked about it. and u wanted not just to be a listener but to actually make some of ur own - so, you did what every other 12-year-old would do when they found smth they were interested in - that’s right friends and family - u begged ur parents to allow u to take guitar lessons at a nearby music school !! :DDD - u thought guitar was a good place to start learning music, and plus, someone was offering lessons for really cheap so why not - and this made u real excited!!! Bc wow!! Ur finally!! Gonna learn how to make music :000 - it was all sunshine and rainbows until u walked into the practice room and there sat - han jisung - at that moment, u turned around and slammed the door bc Nope,, u were NOT dealing with that today - sike, u didn’t, bc if u did, ur mom would beat ur butt with a broom - u had to. Sit. And go through weekly lessons. With Jisung. - twas hard not to argue w him all the time :/// - “stop hogging the tuner, freak!!!” - “get your own tuner, dummy!” - but ur teacher had enough of that щ(`Д´щ;) - for ur first showcase, u were partnered up together for the performance - when you look back, you suppose that you owe it to your teacher and that performance for bringing you and jisung together because hooooo boy, after that, u and him were practically unseperable for the many years after - ok fine 👉👈 so u had to admit… jisung became one of ur closest friends… - if not… ur best friend… - he was ur go-to as u went through ur school years - and oh boy,,, y’all would talk about everything under the sun, really - new shows? Check - cool jams?? Check - how it was jisung’s dream to be part of a band one day? Check - so one day, when one of jisung’s senior friends held an audition for band members, it was only natural for him to drag you along - u weren’t as hyped as he was, but u sure were interested. - you both, of course, auditioned for guitar positions (yours being rhythmic and jisung’s focusing more on delicious riffs), but jisung also showcased rap and you showcased some vocals in addition to being able to play an instrument - U didn’t really think u’d get in but - results came out and sksksk u BOTH GOT IN - TWAS A SIGN - and that, ladies and gentlemen, - was the start of one of ur rollercoasteriest rides you’d ever experienced - in the band, there were six of you: - chan, the leader, who produced most of your songs and played the bass - woojin, the talented lyrcist with honey-like vocals - felix, the dorky drummer - you, the rhythmic guitarist - jisung, who was in charge of rap and also played the guitar - and lastly, seungmin, the pianist - That was how it all began, really, with the meshing of different instruments and voices coming together as one. - If anyone asked why you’d joined in the first place, you’d say that it was because your best friend egged you to audition with him for this band - But, deep down, you knew a slice of you wished for this too, to be able to be part of a group where you could freely express your love for music.

--

- OK SO THAT WAS HOW IT STARTED - BUT, AS FOR PRESENT TIME,,,, - you were in the practice room, looking forlornly out the window, earphones accompanying your tired frown - the sky was grey and you were having a momen— - “why do u look like a typical sad music video??” came a voice, snapping you out of your trance - you paused your music. “shut up, seungmin!! im listening to day6!! Look at me straight in the eye and tell me that ‘Goodbye Winter’ doesn’t want to make you think of your sad love life !!” - he rolled his eyes - EXCUSE HIM??? WHO WAS HE, THE LITERAL MYDAY PRESIDENT, TO JUDGE YOU??? - “yeah but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it!” - “says the guy who started crying on the bus listening to ‘I smile’!!!” p(●｀□´●)q - “OKAY, FINE !! let me listen” - “whatever, dork” - that led you to hand seungmin your right earphone before you started up the music again, wonpil’s honey vocals once again sounding out in your ears - he plopped down on the chair next to you and in that moment, - it was just you, seungmin, and the serene melody of day6 - … - it didN’T REALLY HELP HOW UR PROXIMITY WITH HIM WAS LIKE,, KINDA CLOSE - BECAUSE UR HEART WAS BEATING AND IT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF DAY6 - hell, why did u have to have this stuPID, PHAT CRUSH on kim seungMIN - CHIEF CALLED AND SAID THAT AINT IT - HHHHHHUUUURGHHH - just then, felix and jisung burst into the room, laughing about a topic you didn’t really care to find out. it wasn’t your concern - what you WERE concerned about, however, is that when they entered, seungmin threw off your earphone and flung himself to the keyboard like he was caught red-handed with something. - “o-OH HI FELIX! JISUNG! WHERE’S CHAN AND WOOJIN?” - “I DON’T KNOW!” - “STOP SCREAMING, FELIX!” - “HE STARTED IT!” the freckled boy pointed at seungmin, who was awkwardly fiddling with the keyboard’s buttons - hhhh wait what did that mean?? Did he not want to be seen close to u or something?????????? - HNGHHHGHG SAD HOURS o(��﹏╥)o(╥﹏╥)o - oh well - you got up and reached for your guitar, since you supposed your day6 session needed to come to a close with the start of practice - “Hi guys! Sorry we’re late. We picked up some chicken after class! Let’s eat!” Chan announced as he entered the room with Woojin, who only waved amiably in greeting. - Felix began to scream in excitement again, to which Seungmin sighed at - so there you have it, ladies and gentlemen - that’s it - that was pretty much your life now

- it was a sad music video featuring a big crush on someone you knew didn’t feel the same way you did. - oh well, right? it didn’t really matter. what was important was that you were both friends, bandmates, and made music together. - so as long as you would still be able to have that, you didn’t mind.

--

- Saturdays were the self-proclaimed ‘Jisung and [y/n] Day’ !!! - they were a tradition that started ever since yall began to get along bc !! - Saturdays were boring and who better to spend it with other than ur bff?? - what possibly could be MORE fun than beating jisung in mario kart, huh?? - “STOP PICKING WALUIGI!” - “I DON’T SEE WHAT’S WRONG WITH IT, T O A D” - so when jisung appeared at your front door with an extra guest on YOUR day, you couldn’t help but raise a brow - this was the first ever guest to barge in ‘Jisung and [y/n] Day’, and you would have appreciated some sort of heads-up from ur neighbor slash bestie……,,,, - “[y/n]!!! seungmin wanted to hang out today so I brought him along~ let’s go play some smash!!” jisung announced, dragging the other boy in as he kicked off his shoes - what the MCFRICK - U DIDN’T EVEN FIX UR HOUSE - HOLY CHICKEN NUGGETS,,,,, WHAT WAS SEUNGMIN GOING TO THINK OF YOU AND YOUR HOUSE - AAAA - screw YOU HAN JISUNG - “uh, I hope u don’t mind,,,, I didn’t know jisung practically had a second house…” seungmin smiled sheepishly, bowing in respect to u “also, i didn’t know you were neighbors.” - “nah, it’s okay. make yourself at home, but please fix your shoes as you take them off. Jisung always leaves his lying around here and it doesn’t look nice,” you sighed, fixing jisung’s nike slides - “please take care of me,” seungmin mumbled as he arranged his sneakers to be neatly aligned with your slippers - you let jisung show seungmin to the living room, where he started to fix up the console so you could all play - meanwhile, you prepared some unhealthy snacks consisting of chips and soda - “I swear, [y/n] always picks metaknight and it’s so annoying,” jisung rolls his eyes, taking a chip from the bowl you put out on the small coffee table in front of the tv. - “you’re just salty that I’m actually good at the game,” you fire back, hitting him. The three of you settle comfortably on the couch and pick out your characters. To your surprise, Seungmin picks Peach and all you can do is laugh. - “really?” you snicker, picking metaknight like usual. - “princess peach? wow, seungmin.” Jisung chooses Samus and joins you in poking fun at Seungmin’s choice. - the boy stays silent, only pulling out his glasses from his bag. In moments, the game starts. - It takes only mere seconds for Jisung to let out an ungodly scream as his character gets thrown off the map by a certain pink princess. - “SHUT UP SEUNGMIN! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?” - “I didn’t say anything,” Seungmin responds non-chalantly and begins to chase you. - The game session of Smash continues in this manner: Seungmin targets Jisung, Jisung screams, and you avenge the poor squirrel boy. Occasionally, Jisung fights back. There’s a lot of screaming, but you know from which single mouth it comes from. - When you get tired of playing, the three of you stop and take a break to jam. Jisung borrows your guitar while Seungmin plays on the living room piano. You sit on the cajon and cook up a steady beat for the others. - It’s no surprise to you when Seungmin picks a song from Day6 and starts belting out the chords on the piano. Of course Seungmin would pick a Day6 song to play, because that’s so Seungmin of him to do. But even if you’ve heard ‘When You Love Someone’ a million times, you’ll never get tired of it, most especially because it’s him who’s singing it.

--

- The first time you realize that okay, maybe you’re starting to have feelings for your band member, was during your first performance together as a band. - At first, you were opposed to it. When Chan burst into the practice room one day with a flyer for the school talent show in hand, you didn’t hesitate to express your disapproval towards it. Honestly, you weren’t even sure why you were so against it, because you knew that on any other day, you’d welcome the opportunity with open arms. - But of course, overridden by the majority decision, you had to do the performance anyway. - It was only during the performance day itself that you finally figured out the reason why you didn’t want to do it. - When you saw from behind the curtain all the empty seats that would later be filled, something inside you erupted. There were now going to be a million people watching you. Every note, every strum had to be precise— - two hours before the performance, your members had gone into a frenzy. - two hours and you were missing - you weren’t in the practice room, you weren’t in the backstage, you weren’t anywhere - jisung was FREAKING out because he knew you didn’t exactly love performing in front of people, so he told everyone to start finding you immediately!!!!!!!! - chan was also extremely worried bc hhhh you should have told him, the leader, about ur concerns - aghh chan felt bad for not realizing it - but despite everything, it wasn’t jisung or chan who found you having a nervous breakdown at the back of the canteen, it was seungmin - and when he found you crouched down, sobbing quietly, he didn’t go on a long and crazy rant about how he was really worried for you - he didn’t give you a long speech of encouragement - no, when he found you crouched down and sobbing, he simply crouched down too and wrapped his arms around you - no words, just a very tight hug - which is funny because like - a minute after seungmin hugged you (which by the way, he hadn’t let go), your hiccups died down and… - u stopped crying,,,, - omg seungmin a sweetheart - strangely enough, you…you really just stopped crying for the first time in like,, 30 minutes - and even when seungmin couldn’t feel you shaking and hear you sobbing, he continued to just hold you - in fact, you were the first to break away, when you started to apologize for disappearing so suddenly - you started rambling about how you were justreallynervousandyouwerejustsosososorrysomethingcameoveryouwhenyousawtheseatsofthetheatre - and when you were done, seungmin offered you a warm, genuine smile, gave you a quick hug again, then said, “it’s okay!!” - on your way back to the others, he told you, “hey. if you feel nervous onstage, just look at me, okay?” - when you came back, jisung STARTED GOING ON A LONG AND NERVOUS RUN ABOUT HOW HE WAS SOSOSOSOSOSOSO WORRIED and you BET that squirrel boy squeezed u like there was no tomorrow - the rest of the members gave u some words of encouragement, too!! - so in short,, u were able to perform :>>> u were able to get onstage !! - and like !! seungmin kept his promise :DD - when you felt a pang of nervousness mid-song, you whipped your head to look at seungmin, and he indeed give you a smile before he started singing his verse - it was then that it hit you. - you knew, by the suddent skip in your heart, that it hit you. - oh no. you liked him.

--

- so when seungmin starts singing ‘When You Love Someone’ while playing on your old, beat-up, living room piano, you’re immediately reminded of why you started liking him in the first place. - maybe it was the way he smiled at you that day, maybe it was the way he hugged you like you were the only thing in the world that mome— - RRRRING!!! RING!!!! - holy mcfrick u were having ur Thoughts! And u were having a jamming sesh!!! Who could THAT BE,,, SIGH??? ＼`•̀益•́´／ - Ring… leader bAnG cHaN is calling…! - o shoot it was chan - “hello?” you spoke into the phone, halting your music-making - “Hello?? [y/n]?? I have news. I’m setting us up to go on Battle of the Bands! Sign-ups just opened!” - “O SHOOT HELLO?? THAT’S GREAT!! Hasn’t that been our goal since we started! We finally get a shot at winning the trophy!!!!! I’ll go tell the others. Jisung and Seungmin are with me,” you grinned, beaming. - Jisung mouthed a “whos-that” and you mouthed “chan” back. - “Okay! Just wanted to let you know. See you on Monday!” - beep - “Well, what’d he say?” Jisung asked, on the edge of curiosity. - “Battle of the Bands! In! Our band! Chan signed us up!” you smiled, hopping up. - “WHAAAAT?! WAH, NO WAY!” Jisung screamed, and he rushed to you to give you a big bear hug. - Seungmin stood up as well. “Hey, that’s great! I’m proud of us!” - guess your ThoughtsTM were gonna have to wait until after the event. - “C’mon! Let’s practice something! And later, let’s order something nice to celebrate!” you suggested, sitting back down on your cajon.

--

- “oh frick!” you exclaimed, setting down the banana milk on your usual cafeteria table - jisung jumped in surprise, felix waved, and seungmin looked up from his triangle kimbap - “what’s up with you?” seungmin questioned, wiping his mouth - “i forgot to do our math homework! do you have a copy of the questions? guess I won’t eat lunch now,” you groaned, shoulders slumping. - jisung shook his head. “sorry, our class already submitted that.” - “holy heck dude, our class submitted that already?” felix gasped. - jisung narrowed his eyes. “uh?? Yeah, dude. Like, last week.” - “OH SHOOT I DIDN’T DO IT” - “felix—" - “sometimes I wonder how I’m friends with such an idiot,” seungmin sighed, handing you a bright, red notebook. “here. you should be glad you’re classmates with me. questions are on the page with the pink sticky. DON’T flip the page because the answers are there, and I’m not having you leech off my perfect grades.” - you let out a ‘tch’. “who says I can’t perfect math without your answers? Besides, I’m betting it’s not even perfect.” - “thank you seungmin for lending me your notes!” seungmin imitated in a high-pitch voice before taking another bite from his triangle kimbap. - “whatever. Thanks I guess,” you retorted, copying down the questions and answering them one by one. - it was times like these when you were grateful to have such a competent classmate, even if he was really hard to ask notes from. now that you thought about it, there was no other person seungmin would lend his notes to except you. - you tried your best not to make any sort of expression, but inside, you were leaping for joy. who knows? maybe the tyrant-in-academics kim seungmin had a soft spot for you ???? >:DDDDD - lucky for you, you were able to complete the homework before class started. Unfortunately, you needed to start walking back from the canteen to avoid being late, so you didn’t have a chance to grab a bite. - once jisung and felix left the both of you (they had PE next and went towards the gym), seungmin shoved a triangle kimbap in your hand. - “finish it before we go inside the building,” he mumbled, halting just in front of the doors. - OK WHY WAS HE BEING SO NICE - U WERE KIND OF CONFUSED - AND ANGRY BECAUSE - STOP!!!!! HE WAS MAKING U BLUSH N STUFF - NONONOONO - in attempts to hush ur red cheeks, u scarfed down that kimbap like it was nothing. U inh a l ed that thing - anyway, after that whole thing, you guys went back to your classroom and waited for your teacher to come. - you were really happy bc of that whole cute thing with seungmin, but your happiness didn’t last long as your eyes trailed off to see seungmin handing his red notebook to some other girl who’d asked for it - you buried your face into your arms. - of course. there it was. - there was that constant reminder that okay, you weren’t really special to seungmin. in that moment, when he lent you his notes and gave you something to eat, you were just a friend, a bandmate, who needed help that he could give. - he didn’t like you back like that, he just had a big heart. - it was probably the same when he hugged you that time before your first performance. he was just… being nice. - it was okay. you should have been grateful to have such a good friend who was always watching out for you. - you shouldn’t be selfish and want more than that.

--

- k so at this point it wasn’t even ur sad, fat crush on seungmin that was talking - u were genuinely worried as a friend as to why seungmin didn’t come to school the next morning - ok, so u texted him, but to no avail??? - WHERE WAS THE MAN???? - during lunch, you tried asking jisung and felix but they didn’t have a clue either - after school, you rushed to the practice room and asked chan and woojin if they knew anything about the missing guy - chan nodded. “oh, seungmin texted that he won’t make it today. he’s sick. Like, bed-ridden sick.” - u gasped - :00 oh no ((o(;△;)o)) - u asked if u could leave practice early so u could visit seungmin - and ofc chan said yeah bc umu he’s worried too,,, - it was all fun and games until u realized u didn’t know where seungmin lived so jisung offered to come with you to show you - WHAT WOULD U DO W/O UR BEST FRIEND - “u,, complete me,,,” - “ofc I complete u [y/n] wth if I didn’t then we wouldn’t be bffs” - “｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡ I lov u bro” - “ilu too fool” - anyway, the walk to seungmin’s was fun !! u knew u could always count on jisung to give u a good laugh - u even stopped by a store to go grab some chicken soup and medicine - when jisung led you to a certain tall building, you g a s p e d - WTH - IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE LUXURY APARTMENTS???? - “HE LIVES HERE??????” - “twas what I said when he first invited me over. come on” - u were shaking - there was TOO much u DIDN’T KNOW - SKSKKS U WERE SCARED - WHAT ELSE COULD HE BE HIDING - OMG WHAT IF SEUNGMIN WAS A RICH HEIR OR SMTH SHBFHBDHSDCHCW U FELT LIKE A SLOB - “RELAX THE HECK UP MAN!!” jisung rolled his eyes, watching u freak the frick out - ding dong - “com—cough—ing!” came a voice - “hi, how can i—oh? What are u two doing here???” a sick seungmin spoke, hair sticking up in a million different directions, face flushed, and lips dry. - “it’s—” jisung did a little dance, “NURSING TIME BABEY!!” - “omg stop im not a kid its ok I can take care of my—COUGH” - suddenly seungmin started having a bad coughing episode and u and jisung looked at each other like - ‘what is this idiot thinking’ - anyway u both dragged him back inside his apartment - jisung volunteered to go make the soup, and you decided to help seungmin get back into bed and give him medicine - after checking seungmin’s temperature (he was hot) - (NO NOT THAT HOT, I MEAN HIS TEMPERATURE OK) - you gave him his medicine and went to the kitchen to prepare a basin with ice water and a towel - u came back and wiped his face and neck with the cold towel, wet it again, then placed it on his forehead - just then, jisung finished making the soup and came back with a bowl of it and a jug of water - “here, seungmin. make sure you drink lots of water even when we leave, okay?” - the sick boy just nodded and grabbed a spoon to eat the soup - ok so yall underestimated his sickness bc he literally dropped the spoon and spilled some burning soup on himself - “OWIE WHAT THE HELL??” he screamed, dunking his hands in the ice water basin on the floor - “careful!” you insisted, “that’s it, let me help you with that!” - “I’m not a kid! I can feed myself!” - “yeah? tell that to me when you don’t burn urself, dummy” - you grabbed the spoon from him, got some soup, blew it a little so it wouldn’t be so hot, and gestured for him to open his mouth - “you’re like my mom.” - -9000 HP - u mentally clutched ur heart - #momzoned - “shut up and eat the soup.” - once he took a bite, he beamed - “I’m surprised it’s good! I didn’t know Jisung could cook!” - “whaT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, PUNK?” - you fed him like, half the bowl, helped him drink the entire glass of water, changed the towel on his head, and tucked him in again - “im going to the bathroom. Im still mad that u thought I couldn’t cook,” jisung announced, huffing and leaving the room - … - … - ok so it was u and ur sick crush - ambulance NOiseS - WEEE WOOO - “hey [y/n]?” - “mm?” - “can you play some day6? my phone’s on the desk and the password is w0npil, with the ‘o’ as a zero.” - “nerd” - “shut up I know ur password is dowoon” - “DO U WANT ME TO PLAY UR MUSIC OR NOT” - “play the moonrise album” - “fine.” - the first song of the album, ‘Better Better’, began and you went back to your spot beside seungmin’s bed - he turned around so he could face you, and in moments u could already feel your cheeks heating up with his gaze suddenly on u - HNNNNNNG HIS EYES WERE REALLY PRETTY EVEN IF THEY HAD EYEBAGS UNDER THEM - ://// - ://////////////////////////// - “[y/n]?” - “what?” - “I guess because you’re helping me now, you can say that because of you I’m getting better, better, better, baby~!!” - “seungmin u big dork” - “[y/nnnnnn],,,,” - “yes, what do you need now?” - “I’m getting sleepy.” - “then rest.” - “wait, I want something, can you come closer? I don’t want to yell.” - “what is it?” you asked, moving closer as instructed until-- - he pecked your lips. - WHAT - WAIT - WAIT W H A T - YOU WERE ERRORING - IM SCREAMING - ALSO, THE IDIOT PASSED OUT - WAIT - “WHAT?!” you heard a voice come, but it wasn’t yours - from the doorway, jisung was pointing at you, whose eyes were REALLY big - “WAIT, I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE THAT SAW THAT, RIGHT?” jisung exclaimed, to which you put a finger to your lips - “shut up!!! He passed out!!!” you whisper-yelled, hobbling over to your best friend - “wait, he kissed you?!” - “i-I don’t know! I think it was a feverish mistake! oh my stars, ‘sung, that was my first!” you panicked, burying your face into your hands - holy mcnuggets, kim seungmin had KISSED you - “o-okay, okay, calm down. Maybe you’re right, he did pass out.” jisung reassured you, patting your back - “wait, I think we should stop his day6 music,” you said, turning off the speaker so soon. - “okay. wait, what now?!” - “I don’t know! I’m in shock!” - “it’s okay,” jisung breathed, “I won’t tell anyone, I swear. Not even him.” - “we’re never bringing this up again, okay?” you told him, completely exasperated - jisung nodded frantically, equally as spooked as you were - and just to absolutely make sure, you made him go to seungmin and check if he was asleep - “yup. knocked out.” - “honestly im kinda glad u saw it for urself instead of waiting for me to tell u bc I don’t know how I would” you admitted, fumbling with your hands. - “id be mad if u didn’t tho” - “HOW COULD I NOT TELL U?? ID BE TOO PANICKED NOT TO!” - “let’s close the lights and go home, okay? it’s been a hell of a day.” - on the way home, jisung helped u cope with the sitch by talking about other things, like band - u were really grateful,,, - as much as possible, u didn’t even wanna THINK of seungmin - hell it was gonna be so awkward when he’d come back from school…

--

- seungmin was back 2 school babey!! - great : ))) - yeah maybe for the rest of the world but like - NOT U LMAO - the frick - the frick would u even say to him if u saw him huh?? - “hey we kissed”??? - “ur lips were really chapped bc of dehydration”???? - “I have a phat crush on u???” - n is for NO - u weren’t gonna say ANY of that - which is why - you guessed it - interactions with seungmin were kept at a minimum B) - ‘only interact if absolutely necessary’ - and u got jisung on it too - so u wouldn’t feel so lonely not sitting w felix and seungmin during lunch, jisung offered to hang with u from time to time during ur Stage of Awkward Avoiding - “dude its ok I totally get u idk how id approach him if I were u” - “riGHT?????” - but like - u couldn’t avoid him forever - chan changed practice times from every mwf to every d a y after school so u could prepare for battle of the bands - and oh heck was practice the most awkward thing in ur life - like ofc not while u were playing bc music is a medicine that fixes all - but like during the idle moments u weren’t playing, u didn’t even know how to act - “hi [y/n], did you see tha—” - “HUH what excuse ME I NEED TO PEE BADLY BRB” - ok talking to the others were ok ofc - u still goofed around w felix etc - but u just - u couldn’t talk to seungmin - u were really afraid he’d remember the thing - actually more than being afraid of remembering the k@#$, you were more afraid that he knew and didn’t mean it - BUT ANYWAY - woojin took notice of this Immediately bc he’s just great at noticing things like that - not in a creepy way, but woojin always watches - I’d go so far to say he knew more than chan, simply by observing life around him - everyone has their own way of watching out for each other - jisung’s a companion. felix says. seungmin does. chan listens. - woojin watches. - so after noticing your peculiar exclamations and jittery fingers (he sees you rubbing them together as if they’ll break if separated), woojin does what he does best - he finds out what the frick frack paddy whack is wrong - after practice, he slings an arm around your shoulder and says one magic word - “chicken” - and also another magic phrase - “I’m paying” - so whO ARE U TO REFUSE THIS FREE CHICKEN HUH - the rest of the band members are kinda confused like - ok we get that woojin’s having a random chicken craving but why wont u bring us why are u only bringing [y/n] - and to that he can only say - bc [y/n] is the only one who will finish one whole chicken if I order it - we stan some hungry fellows - anyhow - after arriving at woojin’s favorite chicken place (some place called hwang’s chicken or smth) and ordering, you finally break the beans - “uhh,, woojin, so why did you bring me out?” - a magician never reveals his secrets - “you seemed kinda troubled during practice, so I thought you could use a good meal. eat well, okay?” he smiled warmly at you, making u wanna cry - omg what have u done to deserve this Angel - “how’d you know?” - “well, your guitar was kind of out of tune and you didn’t tune it to perfection this time.” - “HOW DO YOU KNOW I ALWAYS TUNE MY GUITAR TO ABSOLUTE PERFECTION” - he sweats - “I-I JUST DO!!!” - ok so you had a feeling woojin already knew what was up so why not tell him right - “anyway, thanks for this, woojin!!” you told him, bowing. “i’m actually, yeah, kind of in… a predicament with seungmin.” - “oh?” he asked, sipping his water. HE WAS RIGHT BEAT THAT CHAN - “so you know how jisung and I visited him when he was sick, right?” - “I’m listening” - “well,,,,, truth be told, we took good care of him… we gave him medicine and all… but when jisung had to go to the bathroom, seungmin had a feverish episode and um… he uh,,, h-he, well… leaned in… and stole um, something from me.” you fumbled with your words. - woojin’s eyes widened at the choice of words. “ah,” he nodded, as if he was solving an intricate puzzle. “i see…” - “Anyway, I don’t know if he remembers it or not, but it would still make an awkward conversation topic. Man! I wish it never happened!” you sighed, taking a swig of cold water. - “Do you mean that?” Woojin raised his brow. - absentmindedly, you slammed a fist to the table. “NO! I mean, I don’t mean that! Of course I don’t! I mean—wait—NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT, I JUST, WELL—” - U JUST EXPOSED URSELF TO WOOJIN SOMEHOW ,, READER what did u dO - woojin just narrowed his eyes at you - “okay! fine! you caught me! I like seungmin, okay? and it’s really weird to be kissed by your crush who doesn’t even like you back!” - “how do you know he doesn’t?” - “well!” you began, “he doesn’t treat me specially or do anything he wouldn’t do for a friend. i reallllly don’t think he has feelings for me. one moment, I think that maybe, just maybe I’m special, but then he goes off and does the same nice thing for someone else and I think, well, that’s a bummer. Not that I don’t want him to be nice—” - “I understand, relax. You panic a lot for someone who hasn’t even seen the situation until the end,” he commented, watching the waiter put the chicken in front of you both. - “so what am I supposed to do then?” you sighed, taking your chopsticks and digging in. - “well, for starters, don’t do that weird thing where you excuse yourself to the bathroom every time he tries to speak to you. it’s too obvious, if avoiding him is your goal,” woojin started, and you knew that woojin wisdom hours were now open. “But honestly? I don’t think you should avoid him. I mean, why? I don’t see how it will benefit either of you. Look, if he brings it up, confront it. Otherwise, you don’t need to bring it up again.” - you shrugged. “I guess so.”

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- heeding woojin’s advice, you avoided him less - but that DIDN’T ERASE THE FACT THAT YOU STILL HAD A HARD TIME TALKING TO SEUNGMIN OK - you avoided him less, but still couldn’t talk to him like you used to - u cant just TALK to someone u KISSED - and seungmin had taken notice - he could not understand why you had that weird period of avoiding him, then began to talk less with him??? - “jisung, did I do something wrong?” - “MY GUITAR IS CALLING GOTTA YEET” - he could only frown. every time he tried to make some conversation with you, you’d seem pretty distant - and this WORRIED him ok - seungmin wasn’t the type of person to be okay if someone was uncomfortable with him, especially a good friend - weeks in, he just couldn’t take it anymore - The game plan was simple. Blackmail Jisung into bringing you to the practice room, then tell him not to allow you to leave. - “Felix, I need Jisung blackmail.” - “For what?” - “To save a friendship.” - “Easy, just threaten to leak his stan twitter to the entire school.” - “p e r f e c t” - and just like felix said, - it worked - jisung, under the immense pressure and stress of having his embarrassing stan account leaked to everyone, caved in and brought seungmin what he wanted after school - you were confused as to why jisung kept apologizing on your way to practice, but when he threw you into the room screaming sorry and locked you in, you understood why - “okay, [y/n]. let’s talk.” - “h-hi, seungmin.” - “why have you been avoiding me? or whatever. talking to me weirdly. can you stop it already? because I miss you.” - “please seungmin,” you sighed, “don’t do that.” - “Don’t do what?” he demanded. “I’ve literally had to start each conversation with you for the past how many weeks, and each conversation always ends on some awkward note! I don’t get it, so explain! I don’t see why you’re telling me not to ‘do that’ when I literally don’t know what ‘that’ is!” - “The thing where you say stuff like ‘I miss you’!” you yelled, clenching your fists. “Stop saying things like that to me if you don’t even like me!” - “What?!” - “You do so many confusing things, and I’ve had it!” Your eyes were starting to brim with tears. “You do stuff like tell me you miss me or hug me for a really long time or give me things you don’t just give to friends! You make me feel like I’m someone special to you when I’m not! You have the audacity to do things like k-kiss me and not even mean it!” - Seungmin’s eyes widened. “K-Kiss?” - “When Jisung and I came over, you kissed me and passed out! You can’t just do that to people, especially people who’re prone to developing these big, stupid feelings—” you explained, wiping away your stray tears. - “That wasn’t a dream?” - “What do you mean a ‘dream’? That was very much real, and I’m angry about it because I don’t want to be kissed unmeaningfully! E-Even if—even if it’s from someone I really like! Especially if it’s from the one I really like!” you told him, mustering your strength not to cry even more. Why even were you crying? It wasn’t so bad! - “I’m really sorry!” Seungmin exclaimed, extremely exasperated. He couldn’t believe his ears, the kiss wasn’t a feverish dream after all! “I thought I had dreamt that whole thing up! I swear, I didn’t know that I wasn’t dreaming. I’m really sorry, [y/n].” - “Whatever,” you muttered, “but now since my big secret’s out and you didn’t mean it anyways, can we just never talk about this again? Forget that I like you. I’ll get over you, I promise. L-Let’s just please continue to be good friends.” - “Who said I didn’t mean it?” Seungmin challenged, stepping forward. “What will you do if I said I did, I did mean it? With all my heart, I meant it?” - U WERE SHAKING - THIS WASN’T IN UR BOOK - U DIDN’T PLAN FAR ENOUGH AND EXPLORE THE THOUGHT - “Did you?” you shot back, fists still clenched. - u weren’t about to back down tho - “I did,” he confessed, “I meant all the other stuff too. And I could mean it again.” -  “So mean it again, then.” - Gently, Seungmin cupped your face and allowed his eyes to linger on your lips for just a little while. And, when that little while was over, he stopped hovering and leaned in. - In that moment, you suppose you could say he really did end up meaning it — just as much as you did, at least.  - And when it finally sunk in that he had kissed you once more, you thought: - Oh boy. Looks like this typical sad music video just got a whole different concept.

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Bonus: - “And I said—HOLY CRAP IM SO SORRY I WAS INTERRUPTING SOMETHING PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE AND I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE CURSE OF WALKING IN ON [Y/N]’S KISSES PLEASE JUST EWIJFWBFWEBFWHEBFUWEBF IM SO SORRY” jisung screamed, covering his eyes - “righty-o, now that you’ve confessed your undying love for each other, finally and I mean finally because your tension was making me want to punch myself in the face, let’s get to practice!” felix cheered, giving you wiggly eyebrows. - “wait, so jisung saw me kiss u that day?” seungmin questioned, shocked. - you shrugged. “better than not. How do you tell your best friend your crush kissed you feverishly? I don’t think you do.” - “I told you. You owe me 10,000 won.” Woojin smirked, folding his arms in front of Chan. - “Shut up, Woojin, it isn’t fair!” Chan cried, making you laugh. - and mayhaps you were so happy you wanted to jump higher, higher, higher baby