#we stay silly but the horrors persist

[suburbanbonfire]

evil little laugh

[ratherhavehopewithyou]

akatsuki no yona valentine's cards <3

[crebbyhermit]

jan 2024/oct 2021

vici redraw

[princess-aries]

today has been fucking exhausting and on top of it all heady hurty

[mytroubledart]

Genuinely I have kinda just stopped feeling things, I think.

Which is an amount of Scary, because even when my emotional regulation was at it's worst *cough cough* 16-22/23 *cough cough* I at least felt something; whether it was good, bad, or some kind of numb buzz.

It feels almost like I'm detached from my own living.

That I'm watching things play out from across some screen somewhere and it's got nothing to do with me, but that guy in the narrative sure has some stuff to deal with.

I haven't felt like me for, now that I think about it, about six years now which took a steeper dive somewhere around fourish years ago.

I used to be, like, the epitome of hope in my mindset/outlook on life

But it feels like my hope, my ambitions, my soul are all just dead and I can smell them rotting at my feet.

[geoblitzz]

Me adding ‘Slay LMAO’ at the end of a long complex thought where I unpack something about myself just to stay silly

[positivelyghastly]

Thinking a lot of thoughts. Feeling a lot of feelings. Here’s an apathetic Terzo I sketched to cope

[brinnanza]

that's exactly it!!! star trek has to be bad sometimes because some of it is truly the most beautiful, touching, inspiring television ever made and that simply isn't sustainable when your budget is five dollars and a beanie hat

i got into star trek as a bit and now unfortunately ive realized its one of the most beautiful shows ever. its about love and family and exploration and warmth and possibilities and a hopeful and wonderful future. and its also so so fucking stupid

[themarvelliteraryuniverse]

Shawn tacks on 'Mate' and 'Dude' because it's a similar speech pattern to Logan's 'Bub'.

His tag is S.H because like or not, he is the direct descendant of Sherlock Holmes.

Despite having a love hate relationship with Sherlock, he's still more inclined to use Holmes as his surname rather than Howlett, but he does use them interchangably.

He has 2 children, a daughter from a one night stand and a son from a previous marriage.

His daughter has tried to kill him

He doesn't like Daken. He's indifferent to Laura. The only sibling he likes so far is Raze.

[gingerbravecookie]

the horrors persist but we stay silly

[teatitty]

[Bumblebee voice] the horrors persist... sniffles... sobs.... but we stay silly✌️

[angryducktimemachine]

The horrors persist but we stay silly.

Maurice has quite quickly befriended @koscheyyy 's Neema and when travelling through very high grass, he got a little ride on Neema's back while in Beast Form :)

[ID: a digital drawing of Maurice and Neema, two OCs. Neema is a gnoll, currently taking the form of a large hyena walking on all fours with glowing white eyes. Maurice, a mousefolk is sitting on her back, looking up over the tall grass surrounding them. /End ID]

[ratherhavehopewithyou]

A variation of the above

Can’t wait to see Hak come out of his bloodied daze in the next chapter or two like “what I miss” only to find his girlfriend has one of the dragon gods in a sleeper hold and the others already KO’d behind her

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

hello! *Waves* I also grew up watching Top Gear! I still know nothing about cars, but it is still one of my favorite comfort shows. very difficult to watch given that I do not live in the UK, but we must persist in spite of the horrors

Brother! As hinted previously, I watched it religiously after school, and I think my stack of issues of the (mostly unrelated) Top Gear magazine makes even my other stack of issues pale in comparison. The show was buckets of fun, especially for a kid sometimes too little to realize how much of it was fake. (Upon understanding it, the idea of watching challenges with points scoring based on staged events made heaps less sense to me - I think Top Gear entertained the most when it executed silly ideas earnestly). And the trepidation with which I hunted down and devoured the magazines ridicules my current struggle to dear God read something. Growing up exposed to this constant stream of the most outlandish vehicles and stunts and fabrications did a lot for my creativity - I think it's where you'll find the roots of things like my Rice'n'Shine project. And I realize that those unfamiliar may read 'most outlandish vehicles and stunts and fabrications' as 'Ferraris, jumps, and clipshow-like segments pointing and laughing at tackily pimped cars', so, to exemplify just how far beyond that it got (and because I'm not getting a better excuse to bring this thing up anytime soon), here's a vehicle I've learned of from the show: the Bug Carver, or Vandenbrink Carver, or Carver One. The Carver.

No, it's not a contender for largest engine ever, quite the opposite. A mere 660cc turbocharged engine from a Daihatsu kei car, in fact, was housed between the rear wheels it powered. Most interestingly, however, is the whole assembly had pretty much only two solid points of contact with the rest of the body, which itself had a single wheel upfront.

One may expect severe issues with flex, but no siree. This car does not jiggle jiggle.

It folds.

And quite significantly, I might add.

One could consider it a motorcycle for those unwilling to give up a car's interior, or, considering the engine and rear wheels stay put and the lean is artificially induced by electronically controlled hydraulics, a car that wiggles its passengers about for funsies. (Well, mainly stability. But I can't imagine funsies weren't a factor.)

Some, instead, consider it a fighter jet for the road, or, more simply, buckets of fun. The most surprising thing, however, is what some consider it today, because while the Carver project did end in bankruptcy in 2009, it has recently been resurrected with an electric powertrain and an immensely uglier front.

And I can assure you, millions of people (whether they noticed or not) saw a picture of it in a scammy banner ad next to the title "cheap electric cars for seniors". Which is such a hilariously baffling picture choice I can't even fathom how it happened. Surely not over someone involved actually knowing the thing, because I cannot think of a single worse use case for a Carver than someone you can't even trust with a normal car anymore.

Well, I can't, but don't worry, Carver could!

Yep. What better vehicle to deliver pizzas with than Tilty McTiltface. So if you've been in the Netherlands and your niets pizza met links rundvlees turned up as a niets pizza met overal rundvlees, well, we might have a theory in our hands.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

[b-blushes]

health/drs stuff

anyway the things i'm battling with feel stupidly uhh not philosophical but, like, interrogating the nature of things. while autistic. like - as a premise, if you go to the dr and there's an improvement to be made. surely if that possibility existed then there would be a pathway for you to get there - not every person in the world will be operating under this assumption. and some of those people will be the drs you are trying to seek help from - at some point you'll have to decide when you think you have to go around someone. the someone is a dr who you've asked to have responsibility of your care. and you'll have to decide that what, you know better? - drs are regular people too - drs are also meant to be the people with specialist knowledge and the best people to ask about a health thing - the clash of those two things means that the system will not work perfectly - you're literally just some guy - you also have access to the internet and some level of knowledge about ~health conditions~ and people who live with those conditions - you gotta figure out when the system is not working perfectly

- offending a dr can have lasting negative consequences on your care. I have experienced this. I didn’t do anything bad on purpose - and you're autistic. so navigating the whole thing of being ill and needing help which hinges on communication at a baseline is. a situation in which you are already doubting your abilities. - what if i'm doing a bad job at communicating and that's why i'm not getting care - what if no 'care' exists and your conditions are managed as best as they can be and that's why i'm not getting more care - what if there's rules like "you're not allowed to tell the patient 'welp! that's it! there's no science about how to help you any more!'" but you don't know about those rules so you're operating under the assumption that something somewhere in the system something is going wrong and you can get better care if you try hard enough. - how do you tell this. - the horrors. but we persist. i guess at the moment i'm trying the 'i can't believe that this is as good at it can be, i haven't spoken to every dr that i could imagine being helpful yet' and i'm trying to speak to them. but it's hard. especially when i'm scared that this is not even the path that is 'true' to the reality of the situation and maybe it's a secret drs communication thing and i'm just wasting people's time and money and also my life trying to make things better when i just need to do radical acceptance of the way things are. and somehow. we're trying to stay silly :P

hopefully at some point i'll be able to crunch all these thoughts and like. think about other stuff. like my life that is not 'being ill'. heehee

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

sorry if i’ve been shit at replying or posting on here and my salmon blog btw the uk adhd medication shortage has been fucking with me and has been for a few months i have bad adhd and i straight up can’t get my meds at all anywhere now also the world is kind of a shitshow?? im trying my best but christ ;—;

that said

we stay silly we stay sc3n3 the horrors persist but so do i