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kae-karo · 6 years ago

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Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

youtube

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why?

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10)

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

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eudaimonic-writes · 6 years ago

Text

Whisper Your Love - Chapter 5

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005500/chapters/32703936

Chapter 4

Masterpost

Despite what many may think, fitting in didn't come easy to Eddie Kaspbrak. As a kid he was better at dance and gymnastics than he was at football and basketball, and that made him the target of many bullies and rumours. Even before he knew what the word meant, he was being called a 'homo' in the halls and had other boys running away from him as if he had something they could 'catch'. This, of course, wasn't helped at home with his mother's constant worrying and over-protectiveness; not a day went by where she wasn't shoving pills down his throat and making up some new disease that Eddie must have because he sneezed twice in a row.

The day Eddie realised the medications she had him on were all fake was both the best and worst day of his life, so to say; the worst because he realised that his whole childhood was wasted on sugar pills and missed field trips, birthday parties he couldn't attend because he was 'too sick' and clothes he never got to wear because they'd flare up his imaginary eczema. He remembered crying for hours on Chris' shoulder that day, ranting about all of the ways his mother had ruined his life, and then once he'd finally calmed down enough to take a breath, Chris had said something that completely changed his perspective.

"But at least now your future can be your own."

And oh, was it going to be alright.

As soon as Eddie entered freshman year, he was signing up to every extra-curricular activity he could squeeze into his timetable. Track, Chess, Birdwatching, World History, and Cheerleading.

He'd dropped out of track pretty quick, his short legs not much help in that department - not to mention the phantom asthma he was (at the time) still trying to get over - and, after a couple short months, Birdwatching had slowly gotten so mind-numbingly boring that not even Stan's presence could help it. Chess was a dud too, because he didn't like how the people in the club looked at him like he was an idiot just because he hadn't been playing since he was five - or something. The other two, though, the other two had been a success.

Firstly, World History is where Eddie Kaspbrak met Ben Hanscom, and he may have not stayed in that club for very long either, but their friendship easily transcended the realms of after-school meetings in the library with the other history dorks into lunches, group projects, movie trips, and eventually a full-blown friendship. It helped that Ben got on so well with his other friends, and with Ben being the new kid, it was easy to fit him into their group.

Secondly, Cheerleading.

Eddie didn't think he'd be good at it; all of the boy's he'd seen on the squad were tall and muscular enough to hold up all of the girls, they were at the bottom of the pyramid, all tense muscles and lean backs and Eddie? Eddie wasn't. Eddie was small, muscled but not overly so, and even shorter than most of the girls on the squad who all somehow resembled supermodels. Eddie was better suited for the fancy tricks than the heavy lifting and, luckily for him, the captain at the time had seen Eddie's try-out performance and known. She'd smiled at him when she posted the team list a week later and that had been that - Eddie learned that he didn't need to be like the other boys, because boys can be on top of the pyramid too.

His popularity had skyrocketed after that, and even more-so a year later when Chris made the football team, and they became Derry High's 'It' Couple.

He made new friends- the Gretas who act like they're sisters with their rivalries but hard-core protectiveness of each other. Darla, a sweet girl with wild natural curls that she braids during game season, twisting ribbons that match her uniform and beads for good luck into the strands before tying it all back with a gigantic scrunchie. There's Audra, their captain, who dyes her naturally red hair black and denies it, even though they've all known each other since kindergarten and everyone knows. He met Mike through Chris, who he knows used to be home schooled before transferring in middle-school.

You could say he's pretty lucky, to be where he is, all things considered - but luck has nothing to do with it. Eddie did it on his own, despite his mother's constant wailing and his own self-conscious setbacks, he did it all anyway.

And he's damn proud.

Well, sort of.

"Your boyfriend bet me I couldn't convince you to come to the rager on Saturday." Eddie slams his locker shut, fixing Stan with as much of a glare he can muster when he really just wants to roll his eyes.

"And you took that bet? Come on Stan, you know I hate parties and besides my-"

"Your mom won't like you staying out late, yes, but listen-" Eddie groans and begins walking, holding his Algebra book to his chest like a shield against whatever diatribe Stan is about to throw at him to convince him to go to the stupid party everyone has been talking about for the past week or so. "- you can say you're studying at mine and that you're staying over because you don't want to walk home late in the dark."

Eddie grunts noncommittally, and Stan sighs. "C'mon, Eddie, I really can't afford to give your boyfriend twenty bucks and if I can't convince you then-"

"Twenty bucks?" Eddie halts, pressing his arm into Stan's chest to stop him from walking too. He raises his eyebrow sceptically, taking in Stan's apprehensive face, and shakes his head. "Okay, no, what else?"

Stan goes red, "um, what do you mean?"

"Um..." Eddie mocks, "Stanley. Stan. I know you better than anybody else and I know for a fact that you don't care about parties, and that you definitely do not care about a dumb bet you made with my boyfriend."

"I do care." Stan mumbles, but Eddie waves him away.

"So what else is it?" He asks. "Why is it oh so important to you that I attend this party-?"

"Rager."

"-and why are you trying to hide it."

Stan crosses his arms, and Eddie smirks, leaning back against whoever's locker they've stopped by and making a come-on gesture with his free hand. Eddie knows what the answer's going to be already, Stan is an open book by design, abhorrent of secrets of any kind - no matter how bad they may be - and there's only one topic that can make Stan break that rule of his because, if there's one thing Stan hates more than lies, it's crushes. Eddie just likes to torture him. Their staring match continues for a few moments before Stan relents with a deliberately bored sounding sigh.

"I overheard Bev Marsh talking to Bill-" Eddie smirks, Stan ignores him, finishing his sentence in a breathless rush like it physically pains him to admit it. "And that new kid about it and they both said they'd be there."

"Aw." Eddie croons. "Stanley you're blushing!"

"Shut up." Stan grumbles. Eddie cackles delightedly.

"You know, I think I will go. If only to watch you stare at Denbrough from the farthest corner away from him for the entire night."

"You know, I actually don't want you to come anymore." Stan deadpans, scowling lightly.

"Too late." Eddie singsongs. The warning bell interrupts anything Stan might have said, and Eddie takes it as an opportunity to make his escape before Stan can eviscerate him with his glares.

The Rager, predictably, is exactly the opposite of anywhere Eddie would choose to be on a Friday night. He'd much rather be at home, coming up with routines while listening to his own - good, if he does say so himself - music, and not standing in a freezing cold clearing, wishing he'd worn a heavier jacket, and listening to a drunken Chris ramble on about some football move he's trying to perfect. Chris is well on his way to drunk, and Eddie lost Stan some time ago to the crowd, the little shit.

Ben had disappeared too, mumbling something about finding a bathroom (as if there even were any this far out at the Quarry), but Eddie had just rolled his eyes at the obvious lie and let him go.

Chris seems to have realised that Eddie isn't really listening, because he presses his thumb into the crook of Eddie's elbow to get his attention before nodding down to the empty cup Eddie had been holding since he finished his first drink when he first got there. "Do you want another one?" He asks, already veering off towards the drinks table.

Eddie's eyes widen, grabbing Chris by the back of his letterman jacket - that definitely needs to be washed since Eddie doubts he's let his mom touch it since he first put it on two weeks ago - and pulling him back and away from the overflowing 'bar'. "Nope." Eddie says, "No more, you're trashed, and I'm not dragging your ass home again. How about we go dance?"

Chris pouts, but Eddie pouts better, and he's soon getting his way, pulling Chris to the dance floor by the hand smugly. They're dancing to a song Eddie doesn't recognise when he spots Stan shuffling his way through the crowd. Their eyes meet and Eddie smirks as he trails his gaze pointedly to the corner he'd seen Denbrough standing in about a half-hour ago. Sure enough, the quiet boy is still there, staring down at his phone with a quizzical little tilt to his brow as the lanky looking boy next to him chugs at his cup. Stan's gaze follows his own and, when Eddie looks back, he's got an expression on his face that Eddie considers Stan's form of blushing - something between stony, scared, and like he just ate something exceptionally sour.

Eddie laughs to himself, just as Chris decides to pull him even closer. "What are you laughing at?" He asks, and Eddie chuckles as he stands on his tippy-toes to peer over Chris shoulder. Stan is looking anywhere except at him - his gaze mostly flicking from Bill's dark corner to the bonfire a few feet away where the stoners are sitting.

"Oh, nothing." Eddie sighs, "Just Stanley's insane crush on Denbrough..."

"He's still into that guy? Isn't he a little emo for Stan's tastes?"

Eddie rolls his eyes, "Bill's nice, Chris, just quiet."

Chris hums. "Yeah, I guess. I'm going for another drink." This time, Eddie doesn't bother trying to stop him, knowing it'll just end in an argument. Instead, he ambles over to Stan who scowls at him harder and harder with every step he takes until Eddie is right next to him and Stan is outright glaring.

"Don't. Say. Anything." Stan greets him with, and Eddie chuckles, raising his hands in surrender.

"Wasn't going to, just wondering how the bird watching is going?"

Eddie really is lucky Stan is a pacifist, or he's pretty sure he would've been toast by now. Eddie laughs at the half-pained, half-amused expression on Stan's face before glancing over to the drinks table where he'd left Chris. "Jesus... can't even go two fucking minutes." He mumbles. Stan's eyes follow his before he's raising his eyebrows.

"He's really drunk, huh?"

Eddie nods. "I should go and get him home before he punches that guy in the face."

Eddie has never been so cold in his life. The cold in his bones and soaking into his skin takes up the larger part of his thoughts until there's no room for any anger, fear or even hurt. He just feels cold.

He's vaguely aware of someone talking to him, sitting him down on the shore of the Quarry as warm hands grip onto his shoulders, but all he can do is stare and shake. He feels himself shaking, feels his teeth chattering, but his eyes continue to linger, unblinking, on the guy before him.

He's gorgeous.

Even in the darkness, with his hair plastered to his face from the freezing water, Eddie can still see how beautiful this boy in front of him is. He feels a weight land on his shoulders, and another voice joins the first but Eddie can't look away from the guy in front of him. This gorgeous being that saved his life - or is this the afterlife? And this man is the angel sent to greet him at the gates.

"-alright? Eddie?"

Eddie wants to nod but he can't, he's too cold, his body feels like it's frozen in place. All he can do is think.

I can hear you. I'm so cold. Thank you, thank you. Please don't leave me in the cold.

Eddie learns the boy's name is Richie Tozier. Richie wears crazy print sweaters under leather jackets and jeans that are ripped all to fuck. He wears muddy converse and has the dorkiest Ralphie Parker glasses when he forgets to wear his contacts. His hair, when it's not plastered to his face with freezing cold quarry water or tied up into a bun is long and curly and Eddie wants more than anything to run his hands through it, see if it feels as soft as it looks.

Eddie wants to do a lot of things.

But, mainly, Eddie wants to know who Richie Tozier is.

He knows he's from California, he knows he sits with Bev Marsh and Bill Denbrough at lunch and he knows the guy shares several classes with him, including study hall. He wants to know what kind of ice-cream Richie likes, what music he listens to when nobody is around, if he prefers beer or wine and whether or not his socks match (he's willing to bet they don't). He wants to know what he smells like when the overpowering smell of Quarry-water isn't clogging his nose, and he wants to hear his voice when his teeth aren't chattering and his ears aren't ringing.

For the first time since Eddie found Cheerleading, Eddie feels like he's found something worth-while again.

He just needs to be sure.

They're talking in the Butterfly Garden, sitting under the waterfall on Eddie's favourite carved bench about their likes and dislikes. Eddie feels a little sad when Richie brushes off saving his life like he doesn't deserve the recognition, like it was nothing, because it wasn't nothing- not to Eddie - and while it may have been something 'anyone would have done', it was something Richie did. And that's important.

So they talk, and as they talk Eddie finds himself staring once again at Richie's face - the way his wide mouth curves around every word like each one deserves their own smile, the way he laughs easily when anything is even the remotest bit funny, and the way he watches Eddie right back. He does all of this, and all Eddie can think about are the butterflies and that stupid quote from that one movie - that when a butterfly flaps its wings in New Mexico, it has the power to cause a hurricane in China. Eddie figures Richie is sort of like that - he's Eddie's butterfly.

Eddie has always been careful, always been pressed by his mother and the town to present the perfect image, always felt like it was his job to change the way people like him are viewed - or were viewed, before Adrian happened - in a town like Derry. He's always been sure to follow the rules, pander to the expectations of everyone around him so they have no reason to hate, to go back to the way things were. With Richie, he feels that weight lifting.

He feels like Richie might be something special, like, because they've met, something somewhere in the world is shifting to accommodate the force of what's to come of it.

Because Richie flapped his wings, and now there's a hurricane tearing through Eddie's carefully constructed world.

When Richie leaves the day after Eddie first slept in his bed, his mother immediately begins a tirade of abuse against him - that he's made Eddie sick, that he's not the right sort (as if Eddie himself would be considered the right sort if he didn't put every ounce of his being into pretending to be something he's not). Eddie only half listens to her shouting, ignoring the way her nails dig into the tender flesh of his shoulder, right where the collar of Richie's shirt has fallen down to expose his collarbones. She starts crying when he doesn't respond to her taunts, and this is where Eddie's insides really start to twist.

Thirteen year old Eddie would've done anything his mother asked to stop the fat tears from rolling down her face, collecting in the lines around her mouth and her double chins. He would've fallen all over himself to make her happy but eighteen year old Eddie doesn't particularly care about that, he just wants her to stop.

It's not that he wants his mom to be sad, quite the opposite, he's just learned over the years that making Sonia Kaspbrak happy equates to making himself miserable.

"Mom..." He tries soothing her, listening to the sound of Richie's car driving away. A part of him wishes Richie would've stayed, another wishes he'd taken him with him, and the last part of him wishes he'd never come in the first place and seen what Eddie's life is really like. Sonia turns away from him, her wails getting louder and louder as she brings her chubby hands up to cover her eyes. Eddie breathes for a second, tamping down the urge to just scream back at her and see how she likes it. She'd probably have him sectioned if he did that. "Mom please stop crying, I'm not sick, I'm perfectly fine."

Sonia's sobs cut off suddenly and she whirls around, Eddie stumbling a little with the force of her suddenly angry gaze. Oh, here we go. "This is that boy's fault isn't it?!" She growls. "He's the one turning you into this... this delinquent!"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Okay, first, he's called Richie, and second, he's literally only been here like two months so he couldn't have possi-"

"Oh!" She cries, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead, raising her eyes to the heavens. Eddie grimaces, the sour taste in his mouth that had been there since she started ranting at dinner making it hard to swallow. "What has he done to you?! My baby, lying, staying out all night, disobeying your mother!"

"Mom, really, I-"

"He's corrupted you! What else has he done, Eddie? Has he touched you?! Have you let him touch you?!" Sonia hisses, and Eddie feels every argument die. He feels sick all of a sudden - he can handle it when his mother is spewing bullshit, when she's ranting out of her ass and Eddie can ignore her. When she's right, though? When she's right, or even just close to being right, it's hard to block out that little voice from his childhood that tells him he should listen to her, do what mommy says and be a good boy. When she's right, he feels himself wilting.

He begins to sweat, and Sonia Kaspbrak notices. Eddie doesn't see the slap coming, the sound of her hand hitting his cheek ringing in his ears as he begins to cry silently. Sonia's hand flies to her mouth, and for a moment Eddie think's the distraught in her eyes is because of what she's done, but then she's grabbing at him, and opening her mouth and Eddie feels himself sinking. His mother just hit him.

"What has he done? How far have you let him corrupt you?" She demands, shaking him. "Are you still pure, Eddie?"

Eddie chokes on his words, still too numb from being hit to really feel the embarrassment of what she's asking him. "Y-yes!" He stutters. "Mamma, please!"

Sonia releases him, sighing in relief as she brings her palms together in front of her lips. Eddie crosses his arms in front of his chest protectively, his tears cool on his stinging cheek. When Sonia looks at him again, she looks calmer, less likely to snap, but Eddie can tell she's still worked up. Her hair is wild, a single curler clinging to a lock at the back of her head and her eyes are bright and red-rimmed. Eddie feels like he probably looks no better at this point.

"I never want to see him again, Edward, do you hear me?" She seethes. "Christopher is a good boy, a Godly boy, and I will not have a son of mine gallivanting off being a... a faggot and a slut!" Eddie flinches at that, and suddenly he's fifteen again, standing in a rainy graveyard and listening to his mother gossiping quietly with one of her church friends.

He deserved it if you ask me... a faggot and a slut... this is God's punishment.

"Don't say that, mamma." He whispers, hating how small his voice sounds. He can feel tears blocking his throat at the harsh memories, can feel panic forming in his chest. "Please don't say that."

Sonia coos at him, wrapping her arms around him and crushing him to her chest. She's shorter than him, but Eddie feels about two feet tall in the wake of her venomous words. "Sweetie, I'm just saying what everyone else would say! You don't want to end up like that other boy, do you Eddie-bear?"

Adrian. His name was Adrian.

Why can't anyone else seem to remember that?

"I just want what's best for you... and that ruffian is the wrong sort for my little Eddie-bear." She pulls him tighter, and Eddie can't find the words to object. "Just look what he's made you do! He's turned you into an adulterer." Eddie feels himself sob, but he can barely hear himself over his mother's words ringing in his head. He wants to disagree, tell her she's wrong - but she isn't. He is a cheater, and a liar, and it's wrong. "Hush, baby, it isn't your fault. God sends us temptations every day, and now you know to avoid him."

Eddie's tears continue to fall as his mother begins to pray.

When Eddie finally makes it upstairs, he immediately goes to the bathroom to throw up. The sounds of his mother's prayers ringing in his head to the backdrop of Richie's smiling face.

He feels dizzy thinking about it, like the hurricane has finally reached him and is wreaking havoc in his mind - his vision swirling as he flies out of control. He's losing control, his world is in shambles.

And he's going to do absolutely nothing to stop it.

It's too late, mother, it's already done.

Stan is probably Eddie's best friend. He's not his oldest friend - not like Chris is - and he'd never tell Chris that he isn't his best, but Eddie truly feels like Stan understands him better than anyone else in the world.

Stan understands what it's like to have to mould yourself into this idea of 'Derry perfectness' in order to fit in; as one of the only Jewish families in Derry, and the only Jewish kid in their school, Stan has always striven for the same image that Eddie has; clean, nice, and penitent. Chris, on the other hand, is the son of the most respected man in Derry - the priest - and, because of this, his sins are forgiven with little fanfare. It's not fair and, over the last few years, Eddie has built up more than enough resentment over it. Resentment over how easy it is for Chris to just be while people like Eddie and Stan have to walk on eggshells.

That's why Eddie prefers Stan, because Chris never got it when Eddie mentioned it - never even tried to - but Stan and he didn't even need to talk to communicate with one another. Stan gets it all on his own.

Some would argue it's a little strange, the son of the Rabbi and the son of the Priest in the same social circle - and they'd be right. Stan and Chris definitely would not be friends if it wasn't for Eddie. Stan hates Chris more than he hates liars because something Stan hates more than liars and crushes combined are hypocrites.

And it's all a little hypocritical, the way Derry treats and alienates the people who don't fit the mould. The subtle way they marginalise people, with smiles and false pity. Chris doesn't fit the mould, being anything but straight is not part of Derry's mould - unless, of course, you're not visibly queer. Chris can press himself into the mould because, for all intents and purposes, he's a straight man in Derry resident's eyes. It's like their eyes just glaze straight over Eddie when they pass the couple in the street.

Chris is big, muscled, his cuticles are overgrown and he's not afraid to break a bone. He doesn't wear enough layers in the winter, and he spreads his legs wide when he sits down on the bus. He's a man, no doubt about it. Derry can see it and it's like they see Eddie's feminine physique, short stature, and soft small hands clasped in Chris' and think hey, close enough. They gladly overlook the only gay part about Chris if it means they get to keep their fancy ideas of the perfect Priest's son. It was the same with Don.

And Chris is perfectly fine with letting them think that.

But then their eyes do find Eddie and they see a boy who looks like a girl, wears girls' colours and uses girls' shampoo, and they see wrong. They aren't willing to overlook the fact that it was Eddie who fixed Chris' car when it broke down last summer, and it's Eddie who got a score of 100 on his theology essay in ninth grade because he knows the bible inside and out. They aren't willing to overlook Stan's manliness, or his good morals.

The simple fact of the matter is, Eddie isn't the right sort of gay, and Stan isn't the right sort of religious man.

So it's not really a surprise when Stan is the first to notice Eddie acting out. He sees the mould for what it is, so he sees it also when Eddie's shape shifts further away from it, rather than trying to squeeze in, like he used to do. He sees it, and he doesn't like it.

He first brought it up on Thursday, the day Eddie went to the bar to watch Richie sing - and not because Chris asked him to go like he pretended. He'd glared at Eddie until Eddie had told him the truth, and Eddie felt it when Stan called him a hypocrite. Eddie had realised in that moment that, in trying to break away from the restrictive role he'd been playing, he'd unintentionally become everything his best friend hated most in the world. He'd given in to his crush, he'd lied to do it, and he'd become a hypocrite.

He felt it in the look Stan gave him when Richie came through the door to the bathrooms, he'd felt it when he'd gone back over to Richie's house that night - lying again - to beg for Richie's forgiveness. He'd felt it at school on Monday, and again later that night when he'd gone home once more with Richie.

He'd rested his head on Richie's chest as the other boy had slept, his body shifting underneath Eddie's with every deep breath. His hand resting heavily on Eddie's lower back where he'd been rubbing circles until the pull of slumber had dragged him in, and Eddie felt it when he turned his head, pressed a kiss to Richie's bare chest, and closed his eyes, following him down.

He felt it the next day too, after school, lying on Chris' bed with papers strewn around him. They'd been doing homework for a few hours now, and Eddie had had to scribble out the word a few times as his brain had wondered while his pen kept writing. Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite.

He sighs and puts his pen down, picking up his phone instead. Chris shuffles at the desk, half-turned away from Eddie, and Eddie reasons he's far enough away that he couldn't read his phone even if he tried.

He pulls up his messages with Stan, greeted by a slew of blue text bubbles from Saturday through Monday left opened but unanswered.

To: Stanley<3

are you still mad at me?

He doesn't expect an answer, so he places his phone down back on the bed and picks up his pen once more, crossing out whatever he'd written last and re-writing it. A few moments later, he's surprised by the little ding that signals an incoming text. Over on the desk, Chris jumps, his eyes flicking to Eddie before migrating back down to whatever he's working on.

"Who's texting you?"

Eddie checks his phone and, sure enough, "Stanley."

"Oh." Chris hums.

From: Stanley<3

Yes.

Eddie frowns, a little downtrodden, but before he can begin begging for Stan's forgiveness, he receives another text.

From: Stanley<3

But I understand.

Eddie feels a little thrill go through him, quickly typing out a response.

To: Stanley<3

you do???

From: Stanley<3

I guess. Do you like him?

To: Stanley<3

yea

There's a pause, and Eddie bites his lip. He's underselling it a little bit, he really likes Richie, but he knows Stan wouldn't appreciate a monologue so he keeps it to himself. He can hear Chris shifting over by the desk, papers rustling. His phone pings again.

From: Stanley<3

Okay, then you need to break it off with Chris.

Eddie frowns, resisting the urge to groan.

To: Stanley<3

i knowwww

From Stanley<3

I mean it, Eddie. Chris is an ass but he

doesn't deserve this any more than you did.

Eddie bites his lip, trying to figure out how to word a response to that that doesn't sound whiny or like it's filled with excuses - Stan hates excuses - but before he can, Chris lets out a loud yawn from over by the desk and slams his book closed, swivelling in his chair to face Eddie. "Babe, I'm so bored, let's take a break."

Eddie locks his phone, picking up his pen and scribbling a few more nonsensical words onto his page, trying to look busy. "If we take a break now, you know you won't finish later."

Chris groans again, pulling himself off his chair and falling face first onto the bed next to Eddie. He lands on a book Eddie wasn't really using, but he feels annoyed anyway as Chris carelessly pulls it out from under him and flings it onto the floor. "Oh, c'mon, it's not like you're really working, you've been texting with Stan for the past ten minutes." He smirks, shuffling over and wrapping an arm around Eddie's waist, pulling him in. "I know something better we could both be doing."

Not this again. Eddie feels sick all of a sudden but hides it with a strained laugh as he removes Chris' arm from his waist. "No, Chris."

Chris pouts, Eddie hears his phone go off again but doesn't even try to check it. Chris raises his eyebrows, taking this almost as an invitation, and suddenly Eddie feels a hand tracing up the back of his thigh. Eddie shivers as the hand reaches his ass, and Chris grins in triumph before bringing their mouths together in a heated kiss. He places his other hand on Eddie's hip, rolling him over before moving to straddle one of Eddie's legs, his knee firmly pressed up against Eddie's groin.

The sick feeling doesn't go away as Eddie allows Chris to kiss him, and it gets stronger when Eddie realises that he doesn't feel this way when he's kissing Richie. He feels a little dizzy at the realisation, so dizzy that he doesn't notice when Chris starts grinding softly against his leg, his half-hard erection pressing insistently into Eddie's hip and his kiss becoming sloppier as he moans into it. Eddie barely feels it, too lost in his own head and the realisation that it no longer feels like he's cheating on Chris.

It feels like he's cheating on Richie.

Eddie snaps out of his thoughts when one of Chris hands shifts Eddie's legs until he's between them, and then Eddie feels something similar to what he felt when he fell into the Quarry. Cold, confused, and most importantly, like Richie is all he can see.

"Stop." He mumbles, turning his head away from Chris. Chris just begins kissing bruises down his neck so Eddie repeats himself, a little louder, his words punctuated by a small shove. Chris gets the message, pulling back with a groan that's more of a frustrated sigh and falling down into the bed beside Eddie.

"Eddie, come on, we've been dating for years, when are we gonna do it, huh?"

Eddie huffs, sitting up onto his knees so no part of his body is touching his boyfriend's. Chris looks perplexed at this, clearly frustrated with Eddie's behaviour. Yeah? Well me too buddy. "Is that all you want? Sex?"

Chris' mouth falls open in clear offense, his eyebrows furrowed. "Obviously fucking not or I wouldn't still be here would I?"

"You're only here because I fucking let you stay." Eddie counters. He feels a surge of hurt at his own words, the harsh reminder of that time.

Chris, however, apparently feels no remorse. "Oh, not this shit again - it's ancient history Eddie!" Eddie growls, throwing himself off the bed and collecting his things, shoving them into his backpack. Chris huffs. "Babe." Eddie ignores him, casting about to find his shoes and trying hard not to let any frustrated tears slip down his cheeks. He hears movement behind him and figures Chris must've stood up too. "Babe, come on!"

"No!" Eddie whirls around, shoving Chris hard in the chest. He barely moves and Eddie just feels all the more angry for it. "Do not tell me to get over this, Chris."

"It's been three years! Everyone else is over it - it's just you, holding this over my head for no fucking reason."

"'No fucking reason'?" Eddie seethes. Shoving the one converse he's found onto his foot without bothering to do up the laces, he huffs out a single bitter laugh. "You cheated on me, Chris!"

The truth is, Eddie is over that part. He doesn't particularly care anymore because, over time, he began to care less and less about Chris and with that, his ability to care about the rest of their issues disappeared. He's not sad, he didn't lie to Richie. He doesn't want a rebound or revenge, he's just so angry because Adrian was his friend. Adrian was the one who told him it was okay to feel the way he felt, he was the one who held him while he cried after telling his mother he was gay. He was the one who told him that being gay doesn't make you a sinner or a bad person.

He was the first person to know when Chris and Eddie went on their first date, and second, and third, and when Chris kissed him for the first time. The only person up until a year ago, when Eddie found out that Adrian had gone straight from holding Eddie - as he cried over his mother's harsh words - to his boyfriend's house, where he'd found his boyfriend's little brother, his friend's boyfriend, alone, and betrayed them all.

And Eddie didn't even have time to hate Adrian for it - because he never found out until two years after Adrian died. He never figured out how he was supposed to feel. He was caught somewhere between grief, anger, and fear. He loved Adrian because that's all he'd ever known. He hated Chris but stayed with him, because Chris was once his best friend, and he naively believed that he could get over the betrayal the same way he got over it for Adrian.

He did get over it, the hate, but he also got over the love, the trust, everything except the betrayal because what he failed, or refused, to understand is that he never got over it for Adrian, he just pushed it aside because hating him made him feel guilty; so, instead of hating everyone else, he hated himself for still loving everyone who has ever betrayed him.

Chris tries one last time to pacify Eddie, grabbing onto Eddie's hip as Eddie nearly stumbles trying to put on his second shoe. Eddie pulls away from the touch like he'd been burned. "Eddie, relax, he's dead now anyway."

Eddie freezes, the nausea in the pit of his stomach returning tenfold, replacing all of his anger from the past few minutes. Relax. How could he? He's dead now anyway. Eddie looks at Chris and he sees a stranger, he doesn't see the boy who sobbed into his hands as he confessed, spurred on by a family meal gone wrong just before his brother left Derry for the last time. He doesn't see the boy who had held Eddie whenever Eddie had cried, speaking words of comfort and wisdom. He sees a man, standing in his once best-friend's now boyfriend's clothes, saying things that send chills down Eddie's spine.

He sees someone who is careless with his words, who will hurt you and then say he didn't mean it. Eddie knows it’s true, Chris never means it, but he does it anyway.

It's cruel, the way people speak about Adrian now. As if all he is is the dead homosexual of Derry, Maine. He was more than that; he was kind and he was funny, he was also cruel, and deceitful. Death was no light subject, especially not Adrian's death, and especially not to Eddie, and Chris had just completely disregarded that. Trampled all over Adrian's impact like it was nothing - like Adrian dying didn't change literally everything about Derry. Like his actions with Adrian before his death didn't change literally everything about their relationship.

What's worse is that it feels not only like he's disregarding Adrian, but he's disregarding the broken trust Eddie still harbours between them. Like Eddie's trust means nothing to him, because Eddie is just a secondary role in the hierarchy of this sham they call a relationship.

It leaves Eddie feeling weak.

"You're right." Eddie mutters, his hands clinging to the straps of his backpack, fingertips turning white from how hard his fists are clenching around the fabric. "He's dead. You fucked him, and then he died - maybe I don't wanna follow in his footsteps."

While Eddie is walking home, his untied laces dragging along the rainy sidewalk, he checks his phone and see's one last text from Stan.

From: Stanley<3

You don't need him anymore.

Chapter 6 coming soon

Masterpost

#reddie #reddie fic #reddie fanfic #wyl #whisper your love #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier

27 notes · View notes

stressedsnake · 2 years ago

Text

GIGGLING AND CAKLING LIKE A DAMN IDIOT RNNN

FAMILY FLUFF, MY BELOVED

Now,an homage to my favourite lines

Shiro glares at her, arms crossed and bottom lip jutted out petulantly, because he’s 25 going on 3, apparently. “I am not. I am completely justified in it — ghosts are real. They are.”

Isn't he like technically actually three??? Also I can just imagine him doing this. Just pure. No<3. We stan.

Keith slinks quietly into the room, sprawling half on top of Lance and turning his eyes to the arguing knuckleheads at the front of the room, because he has gotten way too comfortable in their time in space and thinks crushing Lance is funny.

THEM<33333

“Spend a lot of time looking at my gigantic butt, do you?” Keith says blithely, and Lance flushes even though he knows Keith is teasing.

WHEN I TELL YOU I HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO SQUEAL FOR A SECOND

Pidge glares at Shiro one last time because she is a youngest child and therefore incapable of letting other people have the last word (Lance knows, he does the same)

Listen. Petulant teenager pidge is something that can be so personal. Like yes she is a genius, yes she's the youngest sibling, yes that makes her iconic.

before turning exasperatedly to her fellow arm of Voltron. (Shiro rolls his eyes at her like the drama queen he is. Lance loves this shit. He didn’t know what a dork Shiro was until he met him, and it is the greatest thing he has discovered, including Voltron. Sorry, Alfor.)

YES.

“Whatever, stupid-head.”

Lance my darling dumbass, why must you do this to me.

Pidge hisses. Like, actually. As if she is a particularly angry kitten, or perhaps one of those little chihuahuas with rage issues.

once again, YES.

To say Pidge is incensed is an understatement. Lance grins, flipping over on the couch to hang upside down because he thinks it will bring the most comedy to the situation when he is invariably asked for input.

Ah yes. The most bisexual move to ever bisexual.

Vaguely, Lance hears Shiro’s muttered ‘oh my God’ and Coran’s blatant laughter, but all he can really hear is the blood rushing through his ears because holy shit.

I love when the team clowns on him sm

Jesus fucking shitdicks, this will be how Lance dies.

Bro this is my new favourite insult bro.

And enjoy himself he does. When he notices that Shiro has his crazy-eyes again, Slav-style, he decides to hand him a couch pillow. Shiro, so caught up in his surety that he is Obviously Correct, barely even registers where the pillow comes from and immediately lobs it at Hunk’s face.

SHIRO. YOU ARE RHE OLDEST HERE. SHIRO NO.

Jk jk I love when shiro just. Y'know shiros

“Oh, but Lance! I want to hear about Keith’s luscious hair! Or his dazzling smile! Or —“ she batts her eyelashes — “his sexy, sexy voice —”

Stan allura for clear skin.

“But she falsely accused me of being on Keith’s team for gay reasons! Who says I’m even on Keith’s team?”

Literally everyone with eyes Lance.

How rude. Have they no faith in him? Lance is the youngest sibling of five. He is excellent at getting into shit he’s not supposed to be in. It’s, like, his superpower.

SEE THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUR FICS, THEY CAPTURE THE VERY ESSENCE OF LANCE SOOO WELL

Lance carefully makes his way back to the ground — sticking his tongue out at Coran when he manages without dying, who raises and eyebrow and flicks Lance on the nose in retaliation — holding the bag triumphantly. He immediately starts rummaging around for a pan, some butter, and some salt.

Coran<3

“There is no way. You’re fucking with me right now.”

Shiro glares at her, arms crossed and bottom lip jutted out petulantly, because he’s 25 going on 3, apparently. “I am not. I am completely justified in it — ghosts are real. They are.”

Pidge throws her hands up, quickly scrambling on top of the couch cushions so she can look Shiro in the eye. She looks ready to kill. So does Shiro.

Lance is delighted.

”You are a man of science, Shirogane! You are a decorated astronaut! You have written papers —”

“Pidge fucking Holt our number one enemy is a zombie —”

“In what fucking way does a zombie prove the existence of ghosts —”

“In what way does it not —”

“What are they arguing about?” he whispers.

Lance scowls, trying to push Keith off of him, but unfortunately Lance’s arms are kind of noodle-y and Keith is a stubborn jerk. (Lance can’t see him, due to the smothering, but he just knows Keith is smirking, like the butthead jerk he is.)

“I can’t tell you because your gigantic butt suffocating me,” Lance gripes.

“Spend a lot of time looking at my gigantic butt, do you?” Keith says blithely, and Lance flushes even though he knows Keith is teasing.

“Whatever, stupid-head.”

“Oh, ouch, McClain. Stupid-head? My inner four-year-old is smarting.”

“…I’m not telling you now. You don’t deserve to know.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find out —”

“Someone back me up! Keith!”

Keith startles at Pidge’s snap, which gives Lance just enough leeway to squirm out from under Keith and also kick him for good measure. Keith winces, because Lance is pointy, but otherwise continues to look handsomely smug, which is very annoying.

“Uh, what?”

Pidge glares at Shiro one last time because she is a youngest child and therefore incapable of letting other people have the last word (Lance knows, he does the same) before turning exasperatedly to her fellow arm of Voltron. (Shiro rolls his eyes at her like the drama queen he is. Lance loves this shit. He didn’t know what a dork Shiro was until he met him, and it is the greatest thing he has discovered, including Voltron. Sorry, Alfor.)

“Tell Shiro that he’s a dumbass and ghosts are not real in any way, shape, or form, because he won’t listen to me!”

Keith blinks. Then his eyes narrow, smile going sharp and cocky — his game face. Lance looks away quickly so he doesn’t explode.

Stupid sexy motherfucker. With his stupid sexy hair and face and smile and — whatever. He’s hot, is the point, and Lance hates it.

“As much as I love disagreeing with Shiro —”

“HEY —”

“— I’m on his side this time, dude. Ghosts are real as shit. I’ve heard ‘em.”

“So you’re both blatant ignorers of science, then!”

“Um, no way, pint-sized Dana Scully. The evidence is everywhere.”

Pidge hisses. Like, actually. As if she is a particularly angry kitten, or perhaps one of those little chihuahuas with rage issues.

God, Lance’s life is so good.

“Call me pint-sized again, Kogane, and I’ll deliver a pint-sized kick so far up your ass you’ll —”

Lance tunes them out for the time being, letting them continue to vaguely insult each other and not actually go anywhere in their argument. He instead busies himself with finding tiny little washers under the couch (left there from the time Pidge, extremely sleep deprived at one in the morning, mistook the common room for her workshop while carrying a box of loose parts and tripped over the couch, spilling parts everywhere) and throwing them at Hunk. The man ignores the first couple dozen hits — and they are hits, because Lance doesn’t miss — but after washer #46, he visibly snaps, setting his tools down in a very carful way that tells Lance that Hunk wants to kill him a little.

“Lance, I’m fucking busy.”

“Oooooh, are they any good?”

It takes a moment for Lance’s horrible joke to sink in. Hunk closes his eyes and sighs deeply, but the corner of his mouth is twitching and Lance smirks to himself.

Hehe. Point to Lance.

“What is so important that you must interrupt my very important —” he puts heavy emphasis on the words and stares at Lance pointedly, but Lance has lots of practice pretending to not understand things to piss people off, so it does nothing — “work by repeatedly assaulting me with I-don’t-know-what?”

“Washers that Pidge dropped,” Lance supplies, and then points at the three stooges. “They’re arguing about ghosts. Team Ghosts Aren’t Real is losing. Thought you might want to weigh in.”

Hunk looks incredulous. Lance doesn’t even pretend to hide his grin. “How is the correct team losing?”

Lance shrugs. “Dunno. Guess Pidge needs your arguing expertise and your patented look of disdain. You should join her.”

Look, Lance has never claimed to be subtle.

“Damn right,” Hunk says, determined, and Lance grins.

He loves having his own personal sitcom.

“Now what are you fools arguing about?”

The speed at which everyone’s head whips toward Hunk is comical. What is also comical is all three dorks make an identical face of relief, each one individually thinking that, of course, good ol’ Hunk is on their side.

God, this is literally getting better by the second.

“Hunk,” Shiro says, weariness leaving his face by the second.

Oh, Lance cannot wait to see it come back full force.

“Pidge seems to fully believe that ghosts aren’t real, even though that’s a ridiculous stance to take given our current circumstances.”

Hunk scoffs. All the blood is starting to rush to Lance’s head to the point where it’s hard to pay full attention, now, so he scrambles back upright and leans as close as he can. He will not miss even a second of this.

“Of course ghosts aren’t real.”

Silence. A pin could drop on the rug-covered floors and sound like a nuke going off.

They erupt at once.

“Hunk, how could you?” Shiro sounds heartbroken. He looks it, too, deep black eyes all big and sad like a hurt puppy’s.

“Hunk, you fucking traitor.” Keith is all hot and glare-y, but his stance is loose, playful.

God, Lance is so attracted to that man. It’s fucking ridiculous.

“That’s my man!” Pidge’s yell is louder than anyone’s, and she holds her hand up for a high-five. Hunk slaps it without looking, and the sound cracks through the room.

“Unrehearsed,” they say in unison, like the dorky nerds they are. There’s a second of unbelievably tense (and still a little betrayed, if Shiro’s expression is any indication — Keith has been absentmindedly patting him on the shoulder for the past few minutes) silence before everyone speaks at once.

“We fly magical robot lions —”

“Magic does not equate ghosts —”

“Yes it fucking does —”

“That’s so fucking stupid, just because one thing exists doesn’t mean another thing exists. If humans evolved the ability to breathe underwater it would not give them the sudden ability to fly —”

“In what way is that argument even remotely the same —”

“In every way, what are you even —”

Their argument is getting circular, so Lance starts to get bored. And snacky. Hm. He’s pretty sure Hunk is hiding that Beruvian wild rice grain in the top-most counter in the kitchen (the one only he can reach), and that shit pops deliciously, almost as good as movie theatre popcorn. And Lance is good at climbing shit, and also at stealing from Hunk.

He quietly makes his way out of the common room, taking his time as he walks to the kitchen. He won’t be missing any vital parts of the argument, he can feel it. He can afford to stroll. Mm, and think of all the salt and butter he’s going to put on the popped rice. Hell, maybe he’ll grab that weird spicy Altean soda that only he and Allura like, too.

Seriously. Murderous alien Nazis and crushing homesickness aside, Lance is living the goddamned life.

Allura and Coran are both in the kitchen when Lance walks in, and greet him brightly. Lance grins back and waves, but continues making a beeline for the counter farthest to the left and hefting himself up.

“What are you up to, dear?” Coran asks, sounding amused. Lance turns to wink at him.

“Shenanigans,” he says evasively.

Allura hums. “And would those shenanigans involve the destruction of my castle?” she asks, as Lance starts opening cupboard doors to use them as footholds.

“See, that’s the best part about being a stick, ‘Lura. I’m basically as heavy as a sad little puff of wind in the middle of the Arizona desert.”

“Neither of us have any frame of reference for that,” Allura points out.

Lance waves a dismissive hand. “Eh. I’m not going to break stuff, is the point.” He steps gingerly on the door of a particularly small cabinet, and pretends he doesn’t notice Coran blatantly standing under him with a hand out to spot him because he thinks Lance will fall and die.

How rude. Have they no faith in him? Lance is the youngest sibling of five. He is excellent at getting into shit he’s not supposed to be in. It’s, like, his superpower.

“Aha!” He finally sees it — a rough pink bag, pulled taut with the sweet sweet elixir of snacky promises. Hunk has made a valiant effort to hide it behind a couple pots.

He should know better, really. Lance has been stealing his shit since they were toddlers.

“What’s the occasion?” Allura asks, poking at the bag.

“Drama in the common room.”

“Ooooh.” Allura perks up immediately, heaving herself up to sit on the counter to watch Lance as he works. Coran heads over to the fridge to grab himself a water and the two of them their fancy sodas, which he gives to them with a teasing grimace and a paternal hair ruffle (something they both pretend to hate but secretly feel all smushy about).

“What kind of drama?”

“They’re arguing about whether or not ghosts are real.”

“…Ghosts?” Coran says the word carefully, like he does when something doesn’t translate. Allura looks confused, too. Lance hurriedly wracks his brain for an Altean equivalent. He can’t think of one, so he goes with a description.

“Spiorad beoite,” he says after a moment of thinking. Animated spirit.

He’s proven correct when, at the same time, Coran lights up and Allura goes scowly. “Taibhse,” they both say, in exact opposite tones.

The first rice grain pops.

Lance grins.

“I think you guys should come back to the common room with me,” he says, after his rice is popped and seasoned and Allura and Coran have started a small argument of their own.

They do decide to come with him.

The three of them make their way down the hallways, Coran needling Lance for information the whole time.

“Who is arguing what?” he asks.

“Pidge and Shiro started it — team ghost and anti-ghost respectively. Hunk is on Pidge’s side, and Keith,” Lance, admittedly, smiles when he says the name, “is shockingly teaming up with Shiro.”

Lance sees the smirk spread over Allura’s face and realises a second too late what she’s going to say, and as such is not fast enough to run away before she slings an arm around his shoulder and holds him captive with her superstrength.

“I bet I can guess which team you’re on, Loverboy,” she teases. Lance glares at her, but it does very little because unfortunately his face is very red.

“Get off of me, you —” Lance tries very hard to think of an appropriate name to call her. Preferably something scathing and witty. “—jerky jerk face.”

God, he wishes the universe would smite him where he is standing. Why can he only think of good plans and insults when he is in mortal peril? What a fucking design flaw. Lance should take it up with a manager.

Allura bursts out laughing and gives him a noogie, because she is horrible and spends way too much time with Shiro and Shiro is a horrible, horrible influence.

“Oh, but Lance! I want to hear about Keith’s luscious hair! Or his dazzling smile! Or —“ she batts her eyelashes — “his sexy, sexy voice —”

Since Lance has about as much physical power over Allura as a butterfly does a mountain, he decides his best course of action is to screech at the top of his lungs and go limp. It works like a charm.

Lance decides to celebrate his newfound freedom by crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out at Allura, which in hindsight was possibly a poor plan.

“Oh, it’s on, you little runt —”

This time Lance’s screech is one of fear. The last time he’d seen that expression on someone — one of bruised honour — was the time he’d been caught using Veronica’s very expensive custom lip gloss in a ‘potion’. He’d barely escaped with his life.

Lance barely dodges Allura’s sharp jab to the ribs, and is ready to start sprinting away from her and her pointy fingers before a calloused hand grips the back of his hoodie and lifts him limply in the air.

“Children,” Coran says drily, holding them away from each other (and also somehow holding on to the popped rice and drinks?) and up in the air like particularly naughty kittens. “Save the bloodshed for common room. Don’t waste it here.”

“But she falsely accused me of being on Keith’s team for gay reasons! Who says I’m even on Keith’s team?”

“Because it’s true, you whipped loser —”

Coran shakes them both, and they shut up. “Are you going to behave for the two minutes it will take us to meet the others?” he asks. His eyes twinkle mischievously.

“Yes, Coran,” they chorus, and are finally freed.

They make it the rest of the way to the common room without incident, except for the four (4) occasions wherein Allura looked suspiciously like she wanted to Say Something, because she is horrible and has no respect for Lance’s already tattered dignity.

“All of you are ridiculous! The existence of the Blue Lion on Earth does not imply the reanimation of the human spirit!”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Allura agrees as she strolls elegantly in the room. She nods at Pidge. “That would be ridiculous.”

Hunk looks close to tears in relief. “Finally, someone with sense!” he cries.

“Now, now, lad,” Coran says, shaking his head. “While indeed, our wonderful Blue Lion does not prove the existence of ghosts, it is not for your reasoning — ghosts simply outdate Blue. There are hundreds of other proofs of the spirits of the universe.”

Keith holds out a fist for Coran to bump, looking smug. Coran shakes it — because Lance may, admittedly, amuse himself by wrongly teaching Coran Earth culture —but Keith looks unbothered. “Take that, Hunk. We have a wise Altean advisor on our side, which means we basically win by default.”

“We have a fucking princess!”

Lance grins as he tosses some popped rice into his mouth. Now that Allura has turned her evil older sister teasing and arguments on someone that isn’t Lance, he can enjoy himself again.

There’s silence. A shocked, incredulous silence. Then Keith’s face lights up with unbridled glee — and holy shit, he has the most beautiful smile of anyone Lance has ever met and ever will meet — and he grabs his own pillow and smacks Pidge with it. The room ascends into wonderful, wonderful chaos.

Lance hurriedly sets his bowl and soda somewhere else and busies himself with handing ammo out to any empty hand — Coran in particular is going absolutely ham — shouting encouragement whenever someone lands a hit (regardless of the side), and —admittedly — simping a little over Keith’s rippling muscles.

(Look, he’s wearing that black sleeveless hoodie, okay? The one that fits his chest real well and shows off his biceps. And, well.

Lance has eyes.)

“Ugh,” Hunk finally mumbles, half-smushed under a pile of pillowed-out paladins and co. “Who won?”

Shiro and Pidge — who started it all — answer at the same time.

“We did.”

There’s a loud, in-unison groan from the pile.

Lance giggles. “Dorks,” he says.

At the sound of his voice, Keith shoots up so quickly that Shiro is thrown off him with a yelp.

“Lance!” He shouts it. Lance startles, staring back with wide eyes — dark brown meeting dusky purple. “Lance, you’re the answer!”

Alright, look. Look.

Lance is a human guy, okay? He’s just a guy. He’s challenge any other being in the giant fucking universe to look the love in their life in the eyes as they called them the answer and not, like, collapse. Lance is surprised his heart is still beating, Christ above.

“I am?” he squeaks.

“Of course you are!” Keith says it so earnestly. As if it’s obvious.

Lance’s heart honest-to-God skips a fucking beat.

“Our vote’s divided, shatz.” The closest Earth language to the Galran Keith’s speaking is German, and Lance’s German is rusty at best, so he has no clue what Keith’s saying. The word could be different, anyway. Lance tries desperately to convince himself it doesn’t matter.

“You could solve everything!” Keith continues.

Oh, dear God. Is he doing this on purpose? Lance is gonna fuckin’ die.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Pidge says from her position on top of Allura. “Tie-breaker, to say it in a less gay way.”

Allura snorts.

“Shut up, Pidge,” Lance and Keith snap at the same time. They look at each other, and then away quickly.

Keith’s face is as red as Lance’s.

Jesus fucking shitdicks, this will be how Lance dies.

“C’mon, Lance,” Hunk complains. “I want to be off this pile. Choose! Are ghosts real or not?”

Keith is looking at him so hopefully. It’s so cute. Pidge rolls her eyes, like she already knows what the answer is going to be.

And, well. Lance hates proving Pidge right, but he’s doomed! He’s doomed, when Keith is looking at him like that.

“Ghosts are very definitely real,” he rushes out.

Keith smiles so hard his eyes crinkle shut. Lance’s very favourite Keith expression. “I knew I could count on you, liebe.”

Vaguely, Lance hears Shiro’s muttered ‘oh my God’ and Coran’s blatant laughter, but all he can really hear is the blood rushing through his ears because holy shit.

“This proves nothing,” Hunk whines as everyone lethargically makes their way off the floor and to the popped rice. “Lance would be on our side if he wasn’t so disgustingly in love with —”

“OKAY THANK YOU HUNK,” Lance says loudly, and his entire horrible team snickers at him.

Except for Keith. Keith is looking at him almost… shyly.

“I have to be somewhere that’s not here,” Lance announces transparently because he’s a little too frazzled for excuses.

“Loser,” Pidge heckles, because she’s particularly horrible.

“Goodbye,” Lance says again. As he’s about to finally walk out the door, there’s a soft call of his name that stops him in his tracks. Lance swallows roughly.

“Yeah, Keith?”

Keith looks hesitant again, for a second. Then his eyes narrow, and his smile gets sharp and cocky.

His game face.

“I’m glad you’ve got my back, Sharpshooter,” he says. And then he winks.

Lance can’t even help himself. He practically flees out of the room. He doesn’t allow himself to stop until he’s collapsed in his bed face-first, and has a good, lengthy scream into his pillow.

Once he’s calmed down and his heart no longer feels like it’s been injected with pure cocaine, he sits up, props up three of his favourite stuffed animals, and looks at them intently.

“I think Keith was flirting with me,” he tells them seriously. Mr. Shark says nothing, but Lance can feel a giddy smile spread over his face anyway. “I think — I think he likes me.” He can no sooner stop the giggle bubbling up his throat than fly to the moon.

“I think Keith Kogane likes me!” He holds a pillow to his chest and flops back onto his quilt. He sighs to himself, kicking his legs out a bit. Yeah, he suffered quite a bit of teasing from the whole ordeal, but — but. He thinks he was right, earlier.

He really is living the life.

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hobslobster-remade · 7 years ago

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⚝⛄❄Happy Holidays!❄⛄⚝

The holidays have arrived! This year, I’ve decided to do a small appreciation post just to celebrate everything good that happened this year, and to share my love with everyone who I met on this (sometimes slightly problematic..) site! As the holidays are a time of sharing love with the ones you care for, here’s a little something I’d like everyone to know before I get to specific people:

Regardless of who you are and what you do, know that you are loved and will always be loved as long as I’m here. 2017 wasn’t the greatest of years, a lot of tragedies struck and left us feeling lost and alone so it’s especially important to keep our heads up and move into 2018 with a strong resolve, smiles on our faces. Let’s fly into 2018, hoping for success and happiness. Whoever you are, where ever you are, I wish you the best of years filled with joy, love and warmth. Times will be trying, not everything will go according to plan, but know that if we stick together and support one another we’ll get through it! Here’s to 2018, the year of love over hate, triumph over defeat, together over alone.

💝💝💝

I’d like to thank some people especially for a wonderful year, so here it is 💝:

1. @tae-strawberry

Rahmah, my darling, my soulmate, my baby, my part time fake girlfriend, I love you. You were the first same age friend I made on here and I don’t think you understand how much that means to me. Every time you sent me a fake Hobi snap, the space reserved for you in my heart got just a little bit bigger. We have so much in common and we never had a dull conversation, I really missed not having you around these past few months. I cherish you so much and you’ve always been so kind to me, calling my hands “golden” and just generally taking care of me when I refused to do so myself. Thank you for being such a great friend (who I honestly couldn’t love more even if I tried), you’ve reassured me through the worst, written a fic for me (which was amazing by the way, but that’s to be expected), called me a meme and talked late into the night with me despite our time difference. I hope we can still be close friends in 2018 and that you receive all the love in the world. Stay healthy, stay hydrated and please don’t take on too much stress! I loved you when I first met you, I love you now, and I will love you in the future too if you let me. 💝

2. @taylorinthezone

Taytortot my love, you’re a little brat but I love you anyways. We’ve known each other for what.. 3.. almost 4.. years now? That’s a LONG time Taylor Scheydt, I’m not good at keeping friends around so it says a lot that you’re still here. We’ve been through a lot together, you were the first to call me out on not being straight (much appreciated by the way) when I was still in denial. We met through some pointless conversation about Naruto on *cue the gasps* Google+ and ever since we’ve been friends. I watched you go through your Town of Salem phase, and get together with Adam (and then I watched you two break up..) and grow up to turn into this wonderful person. I’m so glad we’re still friends even though we don’t talk that much anymore, although when we do find the time to converse it always feels like we never stopped talking. I’m pretty sure our American vs. Canadian feud will never end, and that you’ll never stop greeting me by insulting me straight up but you know what? That’s what makes our friendship so special, thanks for always being by my side. I really, really, love you (and River you beautiful dog). Thanks for being a dork. 💝

3. @religion-agustd

Hoo boy, strap yourself in Becky this is going to be a long ride. Mariana, my beautiful Brazilian soulmate, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told you that I love you, but I’m not going to stop because no matter how many times I tell you, it won’t be enough. I made a stupid joke, you followed me, I followed you, and in 2 days we were best friends. It’s crazy how fast we became accustomed to one another. You were the first person who ever gave me real advice on loving myself and who I’m turning out to be, your constant reassurances are a reason I don’t break down everyday (seriously how did I survive before you came along???). You spoke to me as if I was someone who mattered, despite my age, you respected my opinions and weren’t hesitant to share your own. I think I’ll forever love you for that, for telling me that I’m a valid human being with completely relevant thoughts and opinions of my own. Our relationship is one that I cherish a lot, it’s just so supportive and bright and constantly cheery! I love being able to reassure you because you’ve helped me so much that it feels like I’m useful, I love listening to you rant about nothing and being stupid with you. You stay up late for me (although, it’s summer there so you’d probably be staying up late anyways), honestly, I’m just in love with you and your beautiful personality. Not only have you been the best friend I could ask for but you share my love for Yoonseok and aren’t afraid to share it with the world (hence, our blog). I’m in awe of your outgoing, bubbly personality (even if you say that you’re not usually this charged with energy) and your ability to approach bigger blogs (because I’m honestly terrified of doing that). I need to keep this short so I’m going to wrap this up soon, even though I could probably go on for days. Thank you for being the supportive, kind person you are. You’ve endured a lot and I’m immensely glad that you got through everything using sheer strength and willpower. You’re an inspiration to me, and I know you joke about me being a younger version of you but that’s exactly what I aim to be. I aspire to be someone like you Mari, thank you for giving out love so selflessly. Let’s walk into 2018 together, hoping for better days filled only with happiness. You deserve it, boo. 💝

4. @taeboos

Sarah! Rara! My wonderful smol bean! We haven’t been able to get to know each other too well but you were the second person that I ever approached on this site and let me tell you, it felt good to be welcomed with open arms. We bonded over our mutual love for Naruto, The Mortal Instruments and occasionally, hating on Dylan from Maximum Ride. I love you and your personality, let’s stay friends in 2018 as well, okay? I hope you’re surrounded by love and security in the new year, happy holidays! 💝

5. @tae-la-tiger

JIKOOK. This one word basically sums up our friendship to be honest.. no.. but really you’re so cute! Your blog is g o a l s and your love for Jikook is the best because I finally have someone to rant to! I know you’ve been busy lately, so I hope you’re taking care of yourself and focusing on what you need to focus on. I’m still in awe that you’re so nice and sweet to me, I feel so unworthy TT. ALSO, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GOT NOTICED BY BTS ON TWITTER WHAT A QUEEN. Laura, you’re just an adorable little squish and I genuinely hope that you have an amazing year in 2018. I hope we can talk more and be better friends! 💝

6. @aesthetic-local-trash

Payton a.k.a the only one who will ever get my trashy jokes because she makes trashy jokes too. We only met a while back through Secret Santa but I’m already loving you! You’re so adorable and although we’re the same age, I have this overwhelming urge to protect you from the dangers of the universe. I know that you were affected quite badly by the tragic news that hit us 3 days ago, so I hope you’re taking care of yourself and being gentle with your recovery process. Everyone heals differently, so don’t feel too pressured to be back to normal immediately. I’m hoping to get to know you better in 2018 so that we can round up all the other ‘03 liners in this fandom and rope them into a gigantic group chat (because let’s admit, that would be awesome). I hope you’re taking things easy, school sucks and it’s even harder when your family doesn’t try to understand your troubles so just know that, as always, I’ll be here if you need to let off some steam. Please take care of yourself, 2018 will be the year of healing, let’s stay true to that okay? 💝

7. @biminnie

MY FELLOW MLB ENTHUSIAST!!! I can’t believe I found someone who actually liked Miraculous Ladybug, you’re an actual angel. Talking about the plot and characters with you was so fun because you know so much and I’ve always loved digging a little deeper into the stories so that you’re not just getting the surface. Thanks for being so insightful and sweet (not to mention beautiful wow??), have an amazing 2018!

8. @hosseokss

You love our sunshine and have given me permission to punch anyone who insults him ever again, what more can I ask for??? You’re an adorable human being who I’d love to get to know better (we hoseok stans have got to stick together, you know?). I know that these past days probably haven’t been the easiest for you, but please hang in there. We’ll get through this together, I’ll always be here if you need a little bit of sunshine. Thanks for sending me love and being my older sister. Here’s to 2018, a year of new friendship! 💝

9. @lcsees

Lovely Lorna, we barely even know each other but I’m including you here because you’re such a kind person. Not only do you share my love for Daughter, but you were kind enough to send me a message when you sensed I wasn’t doing quite right. On top of everything, you’re an amazing writer! Let’s continue down our road to friendship in 2018 as well! 💝

10. @thestorythatneverbegan

I made a stupid, informal request for a BTS outsiders AU and you’re now turning that into reality, thanks for being so sweet (and an incredible writer!). I think we can aim for friends in 2018, right? 💝

11. @jungkooksknee

I know we don’t talk but you’re actually one of my longest standing mutuals so I just want to thank you for being such a kind individual who chose to follow me (because let’s face it, I’m hard to put up with). Have a wonderful 2018 filled with joy! 💝

(I’m going to ignore the fact that this list ends on an odd number because it makes me unreasonably uncomfortable.)

Of course, I’m also sending all the love possible to my other mutuals:

@laytmblr @taehyungswonders @kattyandd @mint-chapstick @taexguk @mrs-maknae @j1nsgf @taehyung-smiile @kayphamm @lanawalker18 @jinslaughter @sopeshighnotes @po-tae-hoe @otsukaresope @the-devils @sopehope @crithmum @syeokjin @cuteseokjin @je0n @hoodiejungkook @yougotnojams99 @uncool365 @a-vminism-pro @moonmom @bewareoftaehyung @jiminmochi-chimchim @punkvee @seokjinlesbian @muricairishbritlover @the-julienne-ihnat @aunnie-ssi @just-bangtantrash @humcreates @hobieism @kamjong-kai @ofsugas @redheadhobi @piedparkjimin @nebusin @stay-unique-different @baeforjjj @s-s-sugaplum + all of my followers

That’s it folks! My appreciation post for 2017! I love you all and never forget that I’m here for you, it doesn’t matter if we don’t know each other. There’s a first for everything, right? And please, if I don’t talk to you first, it’s because I’m insufferably shy and don’t know how to put myself out there first, so message me first! I’ll try to be the least amount of awkward, I promise! I really do want to become better friends with all of you! 💝

❄⛄⚝ Happy Holidays~ ⚝⛄❄

#mutuals appreciation post #everyone appreciation post #happy holidays!!#posting this a bit earlier than planned since im going somewhere over the holidays

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cheollies · 7 years ago

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100 MORE Reasons to Love Choi Seungcheol

such a fanboy for kdramas and watched Goblin with Mingyu

reenacted one of the goblin scenes with Mingyu and got really embarrassed

when he gave BTS’s Taehyung a gigantic hug during MAMA 2017

His ‘biorhythm’ part

Whenever he says ‘S.coups’ in the Seventeen songs like in Crazy in Love

When he came out of nowhere in boomboom mv to sing that tiny part after Joshua and basically shook the whole fandom

When Seungcheol switched lunches with Wonwoo who’s allergic to seafood, and despite the lunch being spicy which he doesn’t like, he still ate it

when he reassured Hansol about going on SMTM4

wants four kids in the future, three boys and one girl

‘I’m in charge of 12 kids right now, you think I can’t handle four’

when he’s such a huge dork with filters #filterking

when Seungcheol does the thing where he falls into Jeonghan or Joshua’s arms after he does something highly embarrassing

WHEN SEUNGCHEOL WAS ONE OF THE MC’S FOR DREAM CONCERT AND EVERYONE SITTING DOWN TURNED THEIR HEADS AT HIM BECAUSE HE LOOKED SO GOOD

Excited Seungcheol reuniting with the rest of Seventeen at the Dream Concert

Seungcheol thought it would be funny for the members to choose one person to take the penalty and everyone chose him and his facial expression was just full of regret

those pictures of Seungcheol where he’s in japan, and he’s wearing a pink button up and jeans and it looks like he’s waiting for someone and it’s basically boyfriend looks because we all know he’s waiting for you

Seungcheol eats really cutely, it’s just really cute to see him with his cheeks stuffed with food

When Seungcheol said ‘baby’

When he spent 10 seconds trying to open a door only to realize the door next to it was the door to use

Seungcheol really can’t do amusement park rides

Did you see him on my friend’s hometown, he got dizzy after a carousel

His 17 project teaser

That part in the Mansae mv where the girl turns around and is faced with a smiling Seungcheol

Beagle King

When he was dancing along to Pristin’s WeeWoo

When he did the little hand dances with Ailee at Korean Cable TV

Predebut Seungcheol laughing and pointing at Chan after Chan loses the ball came, and even reenacts how Chan looked

said because he was the youngest at home, he did lots of aegyo to his parents

His basketball skills

he was street casted the day he was escaping playing soccer with his friend (lol same)

Prebut Seungcheol doing as the MC said and being cute but the MC calling it ‘dirty’ and Seungcheol laughing

Predebut Seungcheol forcing Wonwoo to accompany him in having to do whatever the MC tells them to do

Predebut Seungcheol torturing Seungkwan after Seungkwan accidentally kicked him in his privates

He’s ticklish

When he danced to Talk Dirty

When Seungcheol and Seokmin switched parts in Adore U and so Seungcheol was the one being lifted during the ‘you are my angel’ part

2013, in the month of October, Seungcheol announced he and Jihoon were getting married

When Seungcheol jumped into the ground because he thought the others would catch him

Seungcheol hurting the fandom by singing in Don’t Wanna Cry

He did the Oppaya song at a fanmeet and was really embarrassed at the end of it

the time he put two chips in his mouth to make it look like a duck mouth

When a little boy attended a fansign, Seungcheol couldn’t keep his eyes off of the boy and was just staring at him with heart eyes when he was with Seungkwan

He does this thing sometimes during concerts where when he’s dancing, he’ll puff out his cheeks and make it seem like his dancing is nonchalant when he’s doing body rolls or hip movements like BOY you know what you’re doing

Confirmed that he is, indeed the dad of Seventeen

When choosing between a bad girl or a good girl, Seungcheol chose bad girl because at least she’d be warmer to him than others

Everyone knows the gif of him falling after a stage firework went off in front of him

During concerts Seungcheol always bends down to the fans to be really close to their phone

When he wears turtleneck and basically looks all fluffy and soft

That time he got scared of a bug

When he wore the blue Taekwondo uniform during a fanmeet

Seungcheol going through the fansign line as if he was a fan and continuously saying he was a Woozi stan

Predebut Seungcheol who used his taekwondo skills and took Mingyu down

When Seungcheol took down BTS’s Jungkook

That one gif where Seungcheol’s hair is black and it’s parted, and he’s wearing a black button up with black pants with a black belt, and he’s dancing, and he’s basically rubbing his hand down his chest before he grabs his belt buckle

That time he put on a cop hat and had a fake gun and pointed it at the camera and basically shot all of the fan’s hearts

Seungcheol imitating one of Monsta X’s member’s parts while they all screamed ‘S.coups’ as he approached

For his birthday in 2015, posted a video of the boys basically bowing to him like he was the boss

For his birthday in 2017, posted a pic of the boys basically sitting beside him as his workers and him obviously the boss

Even though he doesn’t prefer chocolate, he still ate the chocolate cake that the boys got him

That time Seungcheol had Jihoon sit on his lap

Said he’d date himself if he was a girl

All of his covers with Jihoon. Good Morning, Guilty, You Look Good, Officially Missing You

His cover of Merry Go Round with Seungkwan

The multiple times Seungcheol played with the cameras on 17tv

When he introduced himself as ‘Cheol’

Credits himself with putting the members in a straight line when walking

Tried to say schedule but kept messing up and saying sketch

When Seungcheol was compared to a camel and then Seungcheol imitated the face of a camel

When Seungcheol put on red lipstick and gave a big kiss to Mingyu

That time he was doing aegyo and he was shooting finger guns while clicking his tongue and then he got annoyed because he wasn’t getting any reactions from the boys

He dabs, like 500 times. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he dabs every five minutes. He’s almost as bad as Mingyu

He forgets the choreography a lot when on stage. Messed up on Very Nice so bad that he had to reenact it

Confused dad that took too long to try and straighten the camera and try to find the right angle while his kids desperately try to instruct him while in the back

The Star Show 360 where they parodied a bunch of scenes from movies and Seungcheol was basically a really hot bad boy

During 17tv speed Q&A, when Seungkwan asked, ‘who are you going to watch the fireworks with’ and Seungcheol looks straight into the camera and says ‘You’

When Seungcheol did Burning Karaoke with Seungkwan and Seokmin, and by the end of it, he’s just screaming

When Seungcheol does little pep talks while they are all doing the thing where they create a circle and grab each other’s thumbs

The time Seungcheol played with a little boy in the sand

When he arm wrestled a crew member but he got intimidated by all the crew’s padding so he jokingly asked if they could take it all off

He cut all the bait for the boys so they could fish

His cute little finger hearts that he’s shooting everywhere and every chance he gets

When he wears fake glasses and basically looks boyfriend aesthetics

When he wears sleeveless shirts and has all the Carats falling to their knees

Whenever he licks his lips is basically when every Carat is a Seungcheol stan

Check In aesthetics

Honestly who doesn’t love Choi Seungcheol in suspenders

Those times when he jumps on another member’s back and just has them carry them even though the member is probably suffering

WHEN SEUNGCHEOL DRESSED AS A VAMPIRE AND RUINED EVERYONE

The Seungcheol focus of him performing their cover of Super Junior’s U

WHEN SEUNGCHEOL BIT HIS LIP IN THE COVER OF U

Honestly any Seungcheol focus is bound to catch you

He literally lets the boys tease him so much

He cried during the Shining Diamond concert in Japan when the members brought out a cake for his birthday

When hip hop team covered vocal team’s ‘Don’t Listen in Secret’ and Seungcheol snatched everyone by going all out with his voice

SMA 2017 was Seungcheol’s era

Seungcheol cutely cringing whenever someone does aegyo

Instead of talking about his own rap style, he spent his answer complimenting and admiring Wonwoo’s style

When he sang in the all 13 member version of 20 and once again snatched everyone

Predebut Seungcheol being a backup dancer for After School and was such a cutie

‘Carats are not in a one sided love, you’re not in a one sided love, we’ll repay you until you feel it’

#bc honestly i can't get enough of this man #my love #seungcheol #scoups #seungcheol scenarios #svt #seventeen #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #choi seungcheol

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troubleblurose-blog · 7 years ago

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My Dumbass 5SOS Experiance // Part Uno

I know exactly what you’re thinking. I know, because well, I am one of you. The 5SOSFam that is; I made it sound like we’re our own separate alien race. But look at the people we stan... It makes a little too much sense, doesn’t it? Not even a paragraph in, and I’m already unraveling a conspiracy theory like Shane Dawson. You know him- “You look so fucking something, in my underwear while she wearing them! There’s my poop stain, on her butt.” Yeah, that funny motherfucker.

You’re probably thinking- ‘Oh, just another fan who really wants the same thing I do.’

I’m not gonna pretend, or lie to make my situation seem special. You’re fucking right, that is exactly who I am. We all have our bumps in the road, after all, we’re all human. Or aliens, I don’t really know anymore. It’s not only science that has gone too far at this point, I am now a contributing factor to the random things that make you question what the fuck this world is becoming.

I’m not about to level with you, or give you a sob story. It could seem that way, but every detail I write is a detail I wouldn’t ever erase. Every problem I’ve encountered, or dumb ass decision I’ve written is something that made me the well rounded person I am today. These are past events, though I am currently handling some of the debris of them. I’m still coping with illness, and things like that. When I write these events, just know, while they are awful I am used to them. That sounds bad, but I don’t know any different. They do hurt greatly at times, but that’s just building more character and strength in the end.

-Trigger/Graphic Event Warning-

Let’s start out simple and #relatable; I struggle(d) with:

Bi-Polar Depression (Mood swings between extremely jolly, and devastatingly upset.)

Anxiety (Having a hard time staying composed in times of little stress, or in many social situations.)

Insomnia (Getting little to no sleep/getting no well-rested sleep at night.)

Self-Harm (Hurting yourself in ways such as eating disorders, or various forms of mutilation.)

Suicide (Trying to end your own life.)

Those are the things this is somewhat covering, but by no means are they the point I’m trying to make. They aren’t what make up me, and they aren’t what make up this letter.

To understand the substance of the seemingly overused words on your screen, you need to know a bit about who I am first. Otherwise this could seem like every generic fanfiction. You know what I’m talking about. Eyes are always called orbs. Every meeting involves someone spilling something on someone else. Dicks are always refferred to as members. Calum is usually an asshole with a tragic life story. Mikey is usually a bad boy; who gets a soft spot for the main girl for some unknown reason. Ashton is either super sweet in his old dad way, or a complete arrogant prick. Luke, well he always bounces between popular and nerdy often. Have I made my point?

I’m gonna get relatable again when I say, there isn’t a lot I’m good at. When I am good at something, it has no use in my daily life. I can’t divide fractions, but I can hit every note in guitar hero. I can’t socially interact, but I can make bomb-ass Turkey Bacon Cojacks. I don’t know where all the states are, but I can rap Migrane. My skills are only useful to me, basically. My point being, I was practically useless in class. When I was staying home from school on the normal, from avoiding my problems and lack of motivation, I felt so useless. Like as useless as a newspaper is to a teenager.

We all have some activity that makes us feel important, though. To Donald Trump, it’s putting down anyone who isn’t a straight white male. To Bo Burnham, it’s making people laugh with his odd perspective and unique means of comedy. Me? It’s always been when I’m on stage. I love hearing my voice being amplified to bring together people from all walks of life. When I’m writing lyrics, I feel like every syllable can make a difference in someone’s life. There’s just something thrilling about worrying you’ll sing the wrong lyric, and doing so because you were worrying about it.

I’m not gonna say this was always my passion; when I was younger I made a very motivational speech about wanting to be a mermaid. “I WILL be a mermaid, and I WILL live under the sea.” If you think that’s odd, I know of a kid who wanted to be a trash compactor. After I discovered I couldn’t grow a tail, and I ended up not being a fan of swimming in a casino, I wanted to preform. That’s been my dream since I can remember. I’ve always been pretty witty, like I’d have to leave my wit behind before boarding a plane it’s so sharp. I learned I get more happiness when making others smile, than I do by making myself smile.

A stage is the one place I’m not useless, and being a musician is what I was born to do. I will look anyone in the eye and tell them I'm gonna be so famous one day, because that's exactly what I believe. I know I'm not where I want to be, so it's as simple as I'm gonna move. You need to remember that the only way you can fail is if you give up. It's pretty annoying how bad I am at that. I don't only try to achieve my goals, I try to over-achieve them. I live off my intuition, I'm definitely the ride-or-die type of person in EVERYTHING I do. Making a fool of myself? I'll record it so people can hold it against me for the rest of my life. Dissapointing my parents? Well I am going to Uni for music with no back up plan. Meet 5sos? Well... That's where this fiasco begins.

Welcome to the jungle my fellow fam.

Let’s go back to the first weekend of May 2017. Yes, I really did start this journey on a weekend in May. Yes, I really did it just so I can make that reference. Maybe I started a bit before that, but I committed to it on that first Saturday. At that time I had been in the fam for a couple of months, and I did go through the phase when I couldn’t tell Lucifer and Ashtonio apart. I however didn’t assume Calcium was Asian, I assumed he was Hispanic. I mean have you seen the ‘Hey Everybody!’ video? That was rhetorical, of course you have. He walked dogs, he was practically Ceasar911!

Well at this time I was still self-harming, I was still suicidal, and music is very influential to me. I tend to form bonds with songs because music tends to be my main comfort. Music has always been there when no one ever was. There's just such an intense bond for me, with listening and creating it. When I write I don't just think about lyrics, I can hear the chord progressions and melodies. Unfortunately I don't have enough experience with intstruments yet to share the finished product of my own music.

With 5SOS however, that connection was a lot different. I appreciate the artists always, though I never tend to feel anything more than that. I didn't feel that at all, I felt a boner. I'm kidding, I just really wanted to say that. Usually with musicians, since I am a fellow musican, I tend to idolize the ones who make music I enjoy. Yes, I know I'm stating the obvious. The thing is, after the whole initiation of binging keeks, interviews, funny moments, and the movie- I didn't once feel like they were above me in any way. Not even in a sexual dream enduced by falling asleep to Aerosmith. No, that wasn't too specific of a scenario.

They just made me feel understood in a way no one has. Not just because I'm so proud about being a gigantic dork. We were in the same boat, we had the same oar, we wanted to get to the same island that appearantly no one has heard of, we had the same belief that it exists, and the same thing about not being satisfyed with any of the millions of already existing islands. That was quite the metaphor, hehe. It's chalked down to similar situations, interests, humor, personalities, and impeccable music taste. It could also be that we are close in age, but then I'd be connected to millions of other people. That doesn't sound possible for me at the moment, but wait a couple years.

So I was chilling, laughing at Calcium crossing the border with his homie Mike, when I had the thought- What if I met them? In my mind, I thought there would be at least a year before they come to Illinois again, so I had time to save money. It became a goal for me, one I was quite sure would never happen. As we discussed, I'm an over achiever with all of my goals. So what did I do? Well it would be so easy to say I wrote each of them a letter. I can't do anything that simple, I'm far too creative for that simplicity.

From then to now, in almost a years time, so much happened from there. I met one of my closest friends who happens to be an Aussie; all because of a 5sos meme post, and her lack of ability to use Instagram properly. My family fell apart, and I'm not keen on going into detail. Let's just say I've gotten to consider the 5SOSFam as my only real family. I love you guys, you're a wonderful group of humans with a trail mix variety of nuts. Thank you for existing, and for reading this far.

Over the time I worked, I wrote and drafted maybe 500 different letters? As of late, I actually haven't gotten any letters finished. I made 4 bracelets, not a giant accomplishment. I'm 4/5 the way done with a poster I designed for Calcium. I made Lucas a fetus 5SOS wooden box, and a 5SOS money jar. I wrote Mikey a novel about him as a superhero, with a fan-art for it. That's kind of big actually cause I've never finished writing a longer story before. There's more things, but I don't want to get too technical with it.

I think I have to say the thing that I put most my effort in was a large journal for Ashton. That's because it's filled with art, tumblr posts, and lyrics. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to all of those things. At this point it has some holes because I've drafted the entire 100 or 200 pages over at least 8 different times. Nothing in it is original to the day I started, I made so many mistakes early 2017 for myself and that journal. I was working on the journal when I decided to attempt suicide for the second time.

It's completely crazy, but I've been through a lot with that journal. All of that started with the smallest idea. From the time I started to right now, I've changed so fucking much. I know how to handle my illness, I'm clean of self-harm, I lost a family and gained a new one, I failed at dying and learned how to live, I made an amazing friend, I got closer with my already existing amazing friend, I got a drum-kit, I somehow became a good lyricist, I found my music sound, my singing voice matured unbelievably, I got and lost pets, I got and lost relationships, I'm now in Uni, I'm more independent... I'm finally at the point where I can believe it does in fact get better.

That seems crazy given I've gone through more in 2017-2018 than I did when I came out about my depression, but maybe that's because I know how to spin it. I know how to handle life. Now everytime I'm scared to do something, I do it. Cause that is how you live, that's how you write, that's how you learn. I wouldn't recognize myself. I've gone from broken, bullied, and suicidal to seeing the beauty in my missing pieces, realizing I deserve better, and actually getting out of bed.

I think it might be because of the journal...

Hear me out, hear me out. I'm not saying it made me who I am, there's a difference between knowing and believing. Just like the difference between reading and comprehending. The difference between seeing and feeling. When I started that I could only talk the talk. Hell, when I started I had a case of putting them on a pedestal. It was never intentional, at the time I didn't even think I was worth anything. Now I see them as equals in most ways, cause when I see them be how they are I feel like I belong somewhere. I mean, I've always strayed from the majority just because I'd rather be myself and be disliked than be liked for being someone I'm not. I never saw the appeal in fitting in other than having someone to sit with at lunch. I didn't need to belong, even though it would have been nice to feel at home somewhere.

That's what I got when I found the dorks. I don't have to play a part to feel like I belong around them. I can be me, and still feel like I fit in. Not conformity, but genuine compatibility. Before them I was made fun of for being weird. I was made fun of for having my own style, for the song references no one understood, for how much I giggle. I was made fun of for my a many ambitious, none of which being realistic. But I still do all of these things. I still sing louder than everyone else. I still air drum and head bang to songs like Careless Whisper because it's really funny in contrast. I still play games, randomly balance objects on my head, dance in public because I don't give a shit about what people think when I'm having fun. 5SOS just helped me realize that girl who I wished I wasn't for most of my life, is actually the only person I'd ever want to be. Unless I could be Will Smith as Deadpool, then I immediately trash my last statement.

This is gonna get a bit heavy for a moment, but during that last attempt, as I was losing life I was legit thinking about them. How messed up is that? My life was so shitty my dying thoughts were about four idiots from Sydney. But that's how it was, they were my coping skill. I couldn't hold onto life for me after that, so I held on for them. Not because they'd know the difference if I was gone, let's be real, they wouldn't. If they knew of me then maybe, but I was so low on life's food chain at that point. I held onto the idea of making this epic stuff, and handing it to them.

I'm not even done with the journal!

I had a history of putting too much of myself into things and then being let down and loosing that part of me. So I don't do it, but it became something I did without realizing it. I don't know what I thought would happen. Maybe they'd like who I was, and would want to have a conversation. Maybe I'd be thrown into the fanfic life and get to hang out. Like a beach bonfire filled with laughter, various awesome people, classic rock, teasing, and knowing me, lots of dick jokes accompanying many innuendos. Maybe I'd end up in LA, and get signed to a rock label. I know I'm saying it like it's simple, trust me, I know all too well the effort it takes.

I gained some real maturity, and became even more well rounded. Though I was always the mature one who made a few mistakes here and there. That's one of the reasons I didn't fit in, I was like a 30 year old when I was 13. I'm not gonna say it wouldn't be cool to end up being their home diggle, but now I'm living for me. I saved myself, and they influenced me to. They leant me a helping hand. It would be epic to chill, or to collab on a song. Hell, if I got an opportunity to get signed to Hi or Hey I'd take it in a heartbeat. A small part of it is because I think the dorks are cool in their own odd way, but mostly because the company itself is an awesome fit for me. It produces the same sound I'd like to make, and it sends the same message-

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comeandjointhebigboys · 5 years ago

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#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #we stan a gigantic dork #spencer reid #daddy gubler #hes a cinnamon roll #we stan a cutie #hes my spirit animal #hes so precious #hes adorable

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siodymph · 7 years ago

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Fiddauthor “Post-Weirdmaggedon”

Alrighty and here’s my last official prompt from Fiddauthor week! I’ve had so much fun with this week and even while it’s nearing its end I can’t wait to see everything made till the 4th and after too! We may be small but you’re all so talented and I love seeing everything you all draw and reading everything you write!

And just so you folks know I’m taking requests too until the 4th!

You can read this story under the cut or over on my AO3!

word count: 1429

It was the kids’s birthday. They were now officially teenagers. Even while Stanford had known them for only a short time he still found himself surprised as he watched them unwrap their presents from the whole town.

He remembered when he and Stan were their age. It was almost funny how polar opposite their birthday party seemed to go. Out all day in the summer sun, a gigantic party with friends and family. When Stanley and he had turned 13 a snowstorm had blown through town so the only person to come to their party was their grandmother. It honestly hadn’t been that bad. He and Stanley had stayed up watching the snow bury the street outside and writing their own pirate-explorer stories. But he was happy Mabel and Dipper got to celebrate with something a bit more special. Especially after the hell they all just went through.

Most of the festivities had died down now. Stanford was sitting outside on the back porch, Stan and the kids and all their friends were further out into the woods lighting up sparklers and glow sticks. And if Ford didn’t know better he would have sworn there were some extra lights trailing behind them. Fairies no doubt, innocuous cave fairies from the shades of chartreuse.

He saw someone coming back up towards the house. As they got closer, Ford recognized their bearded face clear as day.

“Fiddleford!” Stanford called out, waving.

Fiddleford seemed shocked at first, looking around wildly, but when he squinted and saw Stanford in front of the house he started waving back. Walking towards the shack a lot faster than before and bounding up the stairs.

“Well howdy Stanford!” Fiddleford said with a wide smile that seemed to brighten his whole face. And Stanford couldn’t help but smile back. Probably looked like a big dork.

Dammit! It’d been 30 years and neither of them had really changed much, had they?

There had been some changes, Stanford tried to reason with himself. A lot of changes for the better.

He skootched to the side and offered Fidds a spot on the sofa, which Fiddleford happily took plopping down next to him.

“Today’s been quite the day, huh?”

“You could say that.” Stanford said with a little laugh. “I’m happy the kids enjoyed themselves.”

“Yeah, they deserve something nice after all that unpleasantness.” Fiddleford agreed.

Stanford sighed. “You know I’m still shocked. Everything… It all ended up ok. Cause you know there were a few points then when-“

“But it all worked out.” Fiddleford said, skootching a little closer and setting his hand on Stanford’s arm, then sliding it down till they were holding hands. “It all worked out in the end, right?”

Fiddleford’s hand on his made him relax again. But he still couldn’t stop thinking about everything. “It did. But none of it would have been possible, without Stanley and you, and the kids.”

“They’re real sweet kids. You and Stan should be very proud… Kind to a fault, lord knows they’ve helped me this summer. And they’re awfully bright. Both of em’.”

“They are.” Stanford said wistfully. “You know what Mabel said to me the first time we met? Right after I came out of the portal?”

“What?” Fiddleford asked.

“That’s one finger more friendlily than normal.”

That made Fiddleford laugh. It was a quiet sort of laugh. And Stanford was suddenly hyper-aware of how close the two were sitting now. He almost moved back when he saw Stan and all the kids but thought better of it. Everything was fine. Things were different. And even if they weren’t he and Stan had each other’s backs. Stanford greeted them as they came in. And watched as they all piled into the kitchen for cocoa. Mabel ran in first with her two friends in tow and talking about the possibility of making purple hot chocolate with blue sparkles. And Dipper tagged a just a little bit behind with all his older friends and the Pacifica girl.

It was nice, knowing the two of them had so many friends. Even if you only ever needed just one it made Stanford feel better to know they had a stronger support then he or Stanley had at that age.

As he passed Stanley said nothing but gave him a wink and smirk. And Stanford for his part glowered at his brother as he closed the door.

Then it was just him and Fiddleford again. Siting in near-silence, appreciating one of the last summers in Gravity Falls this year.

All at once it really began to hit Stanford. Summer was over. He and Stan would be going on their expedition in a few months. But Dipper and Mabel…

“They head home tomorrow morning.” Ford said, his whole body seemed to rise and fall as he took a deep breath. God dammit it was really starting to set in now. He’d barely gotten to meet them and they’d be leaving so soon.

Fiddleford patted Stanford’s arm. “Oh, that’s a shame to see them leave so soon. So they’re gonna be in middle school or start high school?”

“Last year of middle school. They said they can come back here next summer.” When Stanford spoke again Fiddleford heard a wetness growing that wasn’t there before. “I… I’m really going to miss them still.”

Fiddleford turned to look at him directly he saw unshed tears pricking the man’s eyes. He squeezed his hand tighter. And he pulled him into a warm hug. “Come here, come on over here. I’m sure they’ll be fine Stanford.”

He felt Stanford wrap his arms around him after some slight hesitation. His voice was shaky. “I know, Fidds, I really do. Dipper and Mabel, they’re good kids. Smart kids. And they have each other. It’s just… I never thought I’d ever have a great niece and nephew.”

“Oh Stanford…” Fiddleford murmured, rubbing at his back a little.

“At least any family I’d ever meet in person… Even before the portal when I was living out here on my own. No one in my family was ever that close. And I’d become such a recluse. And then after I was gone, I sorta accepted that fact that- I really never expected this. Any of this!”

Fiddleford didn’t know what to say to that. He’d never dreamed of any of this happening either. And yet everything that had gone wrong had miraculously come back together again. Even If it had taken a few extra years, decades actually, things had been made right in the end. He was still trying to figure out exactly how he felt about it all. So in the meantime he just kept hugging Stanford, rubbing at his back lightly and humming.

And while Stanford never actually cried he never stopped hugging Fiddleford either. And after a while his breath stopped feeling so body-wracking. He kept forcing himself to take forced deep breaths until he was breathing steady and calm. But he never stopped holding onto Fiddleford.

It was a nice feeling, even as foreign as it felt to him. Being held onto like this. Wrapped up tight and surrounded by warmth. It made Fiddleford feel safe even when he knew nothing was wrong. He’d even forgotten how Stanford smelled. And breathing in that pine-needle, achingly-familiar scent nearly jogged his memory all on its own. Not specific moments yet. But it filled Fiddleford with a resolve. They’d done this before. They’d held each other like this many times in their past. And doing it again now almost felt like coming home.

Eventually he felt Stanford shift, arms loosening from around him.

“I’m sorry Fidds. It’s been a while since I was on earth but most hugs are awkward after 15 seconds are more, right?” He asked uncertainly.

But Fiddleford just shook his head and hugged him a little tighter. “Not a problem to me. ‘Sides, weren’t we always a lil’awkward? Course we can always stop if you like…”

“No, no. I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. This… this is nice.” Stanford said. Then those warm arms wrapped back around him and held him close. “Then again, I have been touch-starved for at least the last decade of my travels, so I still need to adjust to ordinary human-customs.”

Fiddleford laughed and snuggled closer to his chest. “Heh, me too Stanford. I might of never left these back-woods but you could say I fell out of society too. After making my own mistakes.”

“Ah. Maybe we can figure things out together then.” Stanford said.

“I’d love that.”

#fiddauthor week four #fiddauthor week #fiddauthor #post-weirdmaggedon #day 7

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