#we spoke and chatted about when we should next hang out and draw together

[ejsuperstar]

You ever have a genuine human connection where you feel fully safe to be vulnerable, and that you're not dragging another person down with how you feel, just to wake up crying and realising it was just a dream.

I've been awake for like 10+ minutes and I still feel like crying

[luvbugs-blog]

one bed? - featuring the aot boys

today we have: jean, bertholdt, and reiner

in which: there's only one bed? lmao have fun! note that in reiner's part, you are a warrior that escaped back to marley with reiner after the shiganshina arc.

warnings: none. i have extreme paranoia when it comes to me writing smut, so you will not see some from me until i get better (i am literally touch-starved, so i feel like anything i write will be cringe)!

author's note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what to write next. i'm literally out of ideas. either in the comments, or in my messages. i will appreciate ANYTHING.

jean

"alright everyone," hange says, "go to your respective rooms. we'll meet back up in the morning and explore some more!" she turns to leave with onyankopon and levi who were staying in a nearby hotel as to not draw too much attention.

you look around for jean, sasha, and connie who were also staying in this hotel with you. as soon as you went to grab sasha to room with, connie swooped in, and the two were so excited that they were going to have a "sleepover". you heave a small sigh.

"don't sound too disappointed." jean says, giving you a small smile. "sad you're stuck with me tonight?"

"never." you say, bumping your shoulder with his. "it will just be much harder to keep an eye on those two." jean's smile slowly slides off his face.

"oh yeah." not much you can do about it now. you grab jean's hand and pull him to go find your room.

"this is actually so interesting, being in marley. i can't believe they have actual cars!" you say excitedly, smiling while looking out the window. you couldn't believe how advanced this place is.

"you sound like hange now! keep it down before your dumbass gets us caught." you give jean a little smack.

"oh shut up." the two of you finally reach the room, and as jean opens the door, he stops halfway into the room.

"hey! get out of my way, horse-face!" jean turns to look at you, his face a little red.

"i think they gave us the wrong room." confused, you look around jean to see there is only one bed in the entire room.

"oh." the thought of spending the night with your best friend in the same bed also made you a little pink. much to your relief, jean didn't see because he was too busy hurrying to use the bathroom. in reality, he was trying to calm himself down, but you didn't know that.

your stomach was swirling as jean finally came out of the bathroom, his face wet, like he had washed it. you had to look away. of course you were nervous. you've had a crush on the man for quite a while now. but you'd rather die than admit that.

an awkward, uncomfortable silence blanketed the room. until jean spoke up. "I honestly think we should just share it. it's pretty big. and we've grown up together. it won't be awkward."

that's a relief. "yeah. as long as your big horse feet won't kick me in the middle of the night."

"hey! my feet are normal shaped!" you giggle, the previous tension gone. "yeah yeah."

the two of you chat a little bit before calling it a night. you tuck yourself under the covers, turning your back to jean. "i hope you don't snore."

"guess you'll find out tonight." the two of you try sleeping, and for a few hours, it was successful. until the room got incredibly cold. you shuffle closer to jean, but it wasn't helping all that much. you turn around, facing jean, who looked fast asleep.

"hey." silence. "hey!" nothing. so you start poking his face, and he flinches. "what?" now you're embarrassed.

"nevermind."

"oh no. you didn’t wake me up for nothing." he pokes your face. "what do you want?"

"can you hold me?"

"what?!"

"i'm cold!"

"oh. alright then, come here."

"really?"

"yes, y/n. now hurry up." so you weasel your way into his arms, sinking into his chest. he is so warm.

and in the morning, when he wakes up before you, he'll let you sleep, with your leg around his waist and his arms around you. maybe he will finally work up the courage to ask you out.

bertholdt

you were shaken. of course you were, you were kidnapped. the last thing you remember is walking away with armin on the wall, and you could faintly hear hange talking to moblit about titans that could dig. but you wake up on a tree, in the forest which was surrounded by titans. you see ymir awake, scowling at two men up on higher trees. is that eren over there? you have to blink because it's so bright, but when it finally comes into focus, you realize it's reiner and bertholdt. oh yeah. the traitors. you start breathing heavily, thinking about how it's your lover up there. ymir tries to calm you down, her eyes wide, but it doesn't work. how could he do this to you. was everything fake? were your friends still alive. why were you here? you start feeling faint, and feel hot tears pooling at your eyes. you faintly hear the screeching of odm gear coming closer, and you hear bertholdt talking to ymir, but it's too late, and you pass out once again.

when you awaken a second time, it's night. you have to adjust your eyes to try to figure out where you are. but all you see are stars. you're on the wall. you feel a hand on your shoulder.

"y/n?" you turn your head without moving your body and see him. bertholdt, who's eyes are red and swollen. you reach your hand up to hold his face but then think better of it. you let your hand fall.

"i'm so sorry. y/n, i'm so sor-"

"bertholdt!" you recognize reiner's voice and lift your body up, with his hand on your back. you shove his hand away, ignoring the hurt look on his face. you see reiner and ymir coming your way. while bertholdt and reiner whisper to each other, ymir comes to check on you.

"are you alright?" you shrug. which earns a sad smirk from ymir. shortly after, bertholdt returns to kneeling next to you, but not saying anything. after a while, you find your voice.

you turn your head to bertholdt and ask, "how did i get here?" he flinches at your strained tone, but softly explains what happened while reiner and ymir set up sleeping bags they found in the district below. you also find out the truth about bertholdt's background. about him being from marley, his mission, why he decided to become a warrior. he explained about his sick father and the oppression he received just because he was eldian.

and suddenly, your heart was conflicted. there was life outside of the walls. but they weren't free. they had the same blood you did, and they were being tortured for it. but they killed so many innocent people from inside the walls. those people didn't know what they were dying for. they didn't deserve to die. you wanted to yell and scream at him, but you also wanted to comfort him. so you cried. you cried and cried and fell into him because you were weak, and despite hating him for all he had done, you loved him. and he held you as you cried, and eventually he started crying with you. so the two of you cried until there were no tears left. in the silence left behind, you whispered to him, "take me with you. take me home with you." too weak to argue, he agreed. he placed a soft kiss on your forehead and wiped away your tears.

"ok."

what felt like hours later, reiner came to drop off the sleeping bag.

"i'm sorry, but we could only find three." while bertholdt starting insisting you take it, you just stand up and take the sleeping back from reiner, giving the man a hug, which surprised him.

"thank you. one is enough. we can share." and so you did.

you held onto his long ass body and just held each other, oozing comfort the both of you needed.

reiner

while porco and pieck were mocking him from behind, you were at his side, giggling at his little pout. you intertwined your arm with his and put your head on his shoulder, causing the two goons to laugh and mock even more. but the two of you didn't care. you guys were considered pretty close before, but after returning from paradise, the two of you were inseparable. the two of you walked along the festival, reiner occasionally having to stop to pay for gabi and the others, but never separating from you.

"oh, reiner!" pieck says, "don't forget about the meeting we have tomorrow." the both of you sigh.

"we haven't forgotten pieck," he replies. you detach yourself from reiner when you see porco beckoning to you. while reiner and pieck chatted, you were able to talk a bit with porco. the two of you wandered for a bit before reiner came to pull you away, looking a bit jealous, which porco wouldn't let him live down.

the two of you follow the children around until they get too tired and full from all the festival food. while reiner is dragging gabi around, the two of you talk about the trek you will have to make for the meeting.

"we should rent a hotel room. that way we won't have to get up too early tomorrow to travel."

"good idea!" so after dropping off the children at their respective homes, the two of you hitch a ride to the hotel nearest to HQ where the meeting was taking place. when the two of you check in, you only ask for one room, but two separate beds.

however, when the two of you went to go to sleep, there was only one bed. although, it didn't bother you two that much, as the two of you often slept over together.

so when it was time for bed, the two of you crawled in together, immediately cuddling together. you lay your head on his chest and he holds you. this was how you often found comfort when the two of you first got back from the island, often crying about bertholdt, annie, and the comrades you considered friends. and the two of you haven't stopped this little routine, even years later.

but this time felt a little different. reiner was holding you more tightly than usual. but you couldn't bring yourself to ask why because you were too tired. as you were falling asleep, you hear him whisper, "I love you." not that you would know this, but he had been telling you this for a long time when you were sleeping. so it quite surprise to him when you opened your eyes and smiled.

"I love you too." you slowly press a kiss to his lips and he graciously returns it.

author's note (again): will there be a part two? idk yet. let me know if y'all want one in the comments section. (and i know you saw my author's note up top. *suspicious side eye* you better tell me what to write next)

[hobbitsnapes]

YOU GUYS ARE DATING

Corpse x MGK!sister reader

(Found this image on Pinterest so all credit goes to artist, if you know who it is please comment below so I can credit them)

A/N: this was requested by @heyitssab

Tree is tall of sex in this, but it’s more in a joking matter, plus corpse has stated he doesn’t mind as long as you are not a minor or send or tag him. I’m literally 2 years younger than him, and have no intentions of ever tagging him or sending him any of my work XD

Summary: how many idiots does it take to tell the brother and friend they’re dating? Apparently takes 2 very forgetful people, who kept their relationship secret without knowing it.

It had just been by chance, a small chance that he had been scrolling through his tags. liking and reposting art, when he saw a tag from someone he followed. He wrecked his brain for when he had followed her, coming up empty. She was cute, no denying the beauty she had as she laughed in the video. It was a clip from a stream that he didn’t know she had, as he couldn’t even remember her name, wearing his merch as it fit her snug. It fit her perfectly in fact, the large hood covering her face, hiding the flush to her face from her rather large chuckles that left her body. He couldn’t help but like the photo, and he couldn’t help but to press message either.

It was first only small likes to posts, an Occasional message, and a view on their livestreams, but that all changed when he spoke of the song he was working on with her older brother.

It all started that night, when both lay in their beds as they talked, laughed, and felt their hearts flutter each time they heard one another speak.

Her phone rang violently in her bag, nearly making her drop the to go bag all over the ground as she walked. “Hello?” She asked, as she held both bags with her hands as her shoulder gripped the phone as if it’d fall down a cliff. “Hey bug!” He exclaimed, making her chuckle as she heard the booming sound of his voice. She had always detested the nickname, as he gave it to her as kids due to her horrendous fear of the creatures. But, it brought more joy to her, as it reminded her of their youth. Having been adults for years, it was fun to hear such a childish name that’s stuck.

“Hey mopey.” She chuckled, as that was the name she gave him when he was in his emo phase that he never outgrew.

Both talked as she walked towards the elevator, mainly about how his day had gone as she silently listened.

She had always been this way, always the shyer of the two, the one to listen to others first before she said a word. He had teased her for it most of their childhood and teen life, but he had grown to love it, as he could let loose or rant to her about anything, and he knew she’d be there just to listen to him.

“So what’re you doing right now?” He asked, as she got into the elevator. “Just grabbed some dinner a few minutes before you called and nearly made me shit.” A smile painted on her face at his boisterous laughter.

“Are you at home?” He asked, as he heard the sound of the elevator beeping in the background. “No, I’m spending the night with my boyfriend.”

She had mentioned about a month prior that she was seeing someone, the joy it brought him to hear the excitement and joy in her tone as she gushed about their first date.

If this was 7 or 8 years prior, he would be bombarding her with questions about the man, who he was, where he lived, where he could meet him to find his intentions with his baby sister. But, in the last few years, he found himself feeling calmer whenever she’d mentioned her love life. He knew she was smart, and would never date a man who treated her poorly. The few breakups she had, they always ended amicably, her head still high as she told him. So, he never asked her any questions about the man, as he could tell from the few times she mentioned him, he could feel the love this man had for her, and Vice versa.

The strong barreling of her phone alerted them awake, both groaning out as she reached for her phone without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Hello?” She mumbled, voice slurred as the saliva was thick in her mouth, barely awake as she fought to listen in on who dares to wake them up.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, making her equally exhausted lover groan. She shifted off of him, laying on her back as he turned away from her, as to hopefully shut his eyes and fall back asleep. She was used to her brother's large voice, as it hardly phased her after growing up with him. “Colson, why are you calling me this ungodly hour?” “Oh come on, it’s not that early.” “Col its-“ She pulled her phone from her ear, eyes shutting violently as the bright light blinded her “5 o’clock in the morning. So again, I’m going to ask you, why did you call me at the asscrack of dawn?” “You don’t remember?” He asked, making her irritation grow. “No, that’s why I’m asking.” She says, as she rubbed her sleep crusted eyes. “You were coming up today to hang out with casie, remember?” Her hand stopped rubbing her face, as she felt her heart stop momentarily. “Wait, you mean today? I thought I was coming Friday?” “No, both of you settled on today, remember I told you that’s perfect because I have a day off?” She felt her heart pain as she heard the sadness in his tone, knowing he’s expecting her to bail. “Yeah sorry, I thought you meant Friday so I mixed it up, let me get ready and I’ll be out the door okay? Love you” she said, as she hung up the line.

Before she could even move, she felt his arm wrap around her body. A tired groan leaving his lips. “Nooo stayyyy.” He groaned, pulling her body to his. She smiled as she looked down at him, wrapping her arm on his chest and the other behind his neck. “I wish I could live, but I can’t.” Planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Stay in bed for a few more hours, please?” Her heart pulled at his tone, hearing just how tired he was. “I can’t, casies wanted me to come up for weeks now. And it takes a good 3 hours to get there. I wanna spend as much time as I can with them before it gets dark so I can get back safely.” He groaned at this, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah but it’s only 5, it wouldn’t be safe to drive since we went to bed like, 2 hours ago.” “Yeah, and whos fault was that mister?” She teased, “hmm, sorry but I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself after not seeing you for a few days.” He mused, pulling her body closer to his, planting his lips against hers. A small hum left her lips as he pulled her thigh over his, grabbing the flesh harshly as their lips cascaded together. “Mm, no no no, you’re not gonna convince me to stay here just to go another round.” She said, as she got off from his warm body, throwing his large hoodie over her bare body. “Oh come on babe, are you sure about that?” He said, making her turn around to him. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes took in his milky white complexion. His honey brown eyes looking back at her with a small smile etched onto his face. His hair a tousled mess that resembled a bird's nest, some pieces falling onto his face. “Honey, I’ve been wanting to see my family for weeks now, I see you almost everyday and practically live here. I’ll be back tomorrow so I can grab more clothes from my place okay?” She placed a kiss to his lips, both holding one another in their arms. “I don’t know why you don’t just say fuck that place and just move in.” He mumbled, making her chuckle and heart warm. “Don't you think it’s a little soon though? I mean we’ve only been together a few months love.” “Yeah, but you’ve practically lived here since we got together, you literally just go there to get more clothes that you end up leaving here.” She looked into his eyes as she thought about his words. “Hm, I’ll think about it today okay?” She mused, planting a kiss to his lips. A soft okay leaving him as she got up.

“And babe, remember if you live here, we can have all the sex we want and not have to worry about driving to get one another.” He exclaimed, laughing at the loud honey she screamed from the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but laugh out as she watched, as her niece tried her hardest to braid her fathers grown out hair. It was near impossible not to, as pieces would fall out, resulting in her pulling them harsher, nearly pulling his eyelids back due to the tension from his temples. “Okay okay you’re gonna fuckin scalp me.” He chuckled , as all three bursted out in large laughter.

“So how’s school going this year?” She asked her, as she delicately painted her nails. Both of the girls had found themselves on the floor in front of the nice coffee table, as colson sat and chatted with them. “It’s going really well.” “Oh yeah? Make any new friends?” She teased. “I mean, kinda.” She couldn’t help but hear the wavering in her tone, spotting the faint blush dusting her skin. “Ohh, so there’s a someone eh?” She teased to her, making the preteen hide her face as to conceal the flush. “His names Garrett, and we both take social studies together. He always sits next to me at lunch, and we’ll draw on my notebook.” She gushed, making her smile. “Soo, do you think he likes you?” “I mean, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” “Yeah well don’t worry about it to much cas, you’re not dating anyone for many more years. You’re still a kid.” Her das said, making the young girls face fall.

Y/N knew he was only saying this to protect her, as he said the same thing to her growing up. “Hey, don’t be bummed out about it. He is right, you both are only 12 and should focus on school. But don’t worry, he’ll come around. He was just like that with me up until my current boyfriend.” She whispered, making the young girl chuckle.

“Speaking of which, how are you guys doing?” He asked, as she hadn’t mentioned hun to her in a while. He didn’t think it’d hurt to ask. “Great actually, we’re thinking of moving in together actually.” “That’s great! I’m really happy that y’all met.” “Yeah, I am too.” She hummed, a flush dusting her cheeks.

Both men laughed as they chatted on the phone, talking about anything that would come to mind. What was once only a collaboration for a song, turned into an amazing friendship that caused both of them to call at late hours just to shoot the shit.

A yawn left his lips, as he listened to colson ramble on about another song he was making. “Woah, you tired man?” Colson asked, shocked to hear the sound. “Yeah sorry, was up most of the night last night.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Were you feeling alright?” He asked, worry laced in his tone. He knew all about his friends illnesses, even once being on the other end of the phone during a bad spell one day.” “Oh yeah yeah yeah, was just, up with the misses last night.” He chuckled, a flush blooming on his cheeks. “Ohhh yeah? And how was it?” This shocked him, nearly feeling his heart stop. Like, does he usually know about his sisters sex life? He didn’t think much of it, as he knew just how close both were. “It was absolutely fucking amazing. Like I thought we’d be done for the night, fully tapped out but after like 5 minutes she’d be right back on me for another round.” He chuckled, his flush even worse than before. “Ayyyeee good for you corpse, glad to hear that puss is bussin.” He laughed at this, throwing his head back. “Yeah, it’s bussin bussin.”

Both men talk as they read from their phones, eyes wide in absolute awe of the love they received from the song. They had just dropped it a few days prior, not expecting the cry of joy from both fan bases.

He didn’t even look up from it when she walked in, until she bent down to plant a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry I had completely forgot about the tea I made you an hour ago, but I put it back on the stove to heat it up so if it’s twisting funky just tell me okay?” Before he could even thank her, both their heads whipped towards the loudness from the other line. “Y/N? Is that you? What in the hell are you doing there with corpse!” He didn’t sound angry, more shocked than anything, both of them looking at the phone in confusion. ��I, I love here? Remember I told you like a month ago I was moving in with him?” “WHAT!” Both jumped at the loud scream. “Wait so you guys are dating!?” Both we’re even more perplexed, until it dawned on both of them. Their eyes wide as they turned their heads to one another slowly. “Wait you didn’t tell him?” “No? He’s one of your best friends so I thought you did!” “He’s your brother! So I thought you did!” Both whisper, until all three lay silent. That was until, the large cry of laughter that leaves the two, leaving colson even more confused. He wasn’t mad, not at all actually. More shocked and confused than anything. Until he started thinking, it does make sense, all the times they spoke about one another without him knowing, all the times they mentioned-“OH GOD!” He yelled, gagging violently, making them stop their laughing fit. “What's wrong? Why are you yelling?” She asks “like a month ago corpse was talking about how he was tired cause he was up all night having sex AND I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! OH GOD WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE LIMPING THAT DAY WITH CAS AND I!” Both laugh even harder, as they listen to his ever growing gags.

“So yeah,. That’s literally how we had no idea we were keeping the relationship secret from her brother.” He laughed, as he red the comments and listened to his friends' laughter. She sat beside him, head laying on his shoulder as he told the story. She couldn’t help but to look back up into his eyes, as he glanced down at her, planting a soft kiss to her lips. “Keep it pg guys.” Colson said from the other line, making them chuckle.

[fayeimara]

Suna Rintaro || Found You | First Meeting

SUMMARY. What happens when your elementary school daughter arrives home unexpectedly with a surprise in tow?

PAIRING. You x Suna Rintaro

GENRE. Can I even write anything but fluff for this man?

WARNINGS. Suggestive, sexual innuendos & references, kissing - let me know if I need to add anything else

Haikyuu! Anthology Series | It's Fate When Your Kids Are Friends

SUNA | First Meeting > Second Date > Third Time's The Charm > Four Is Our Family

You're on your way back to your study after grabbing a snack from the kitchen when the sound of a key in the lock of your front door halts your steady steps. There aren't many people with a key to your house that would be visiting you at this time.

Even more concerning, however, is the light soprano of your daughter's voice echoing from the foyer to reach your ears, prompting you to quickly turn and rush to meet her at the door.

"Ryoka! What are you doing here?" You skid around the corner, already calling out in concern, "How did you even get home by your-"

You cut yourself off as you meet not only one pair of eyes, the copy of yours that you expect, but a second solemn pair, both wide in small faces that peer up at you.

"Mommy!" Your daughter's look of surprise and chagrin melts into a sheepish smile as she throws herself forward into your already extended arms. "I missed you!"

You hold her small frame close for a moment before gently pushing her out with your hands on her shoulders. "I missed you too, sweetheart. But you need to tell me what you're doing here and, more importantly, how you got here."

"Well school ended early today and.." She hesitates, peering up with big eyes and a small pout, "we thought we'd just walk home together."

You resist the urge to close your eyes and place a hand to your head in exasperation, aware that even at the young age of 7 years old, she's incredibly sensitive to your reactions. Instead you look at the little boy standing patiently behind her and ask, "And who's this?"

"This is my friend, Kiyoshi!" She's a little subdued, likely aware that she'll be hearing more from you later, but perks back up as she pulls away and grabs his hand to draw him further in your shared home.

"Hello Kiyoshi. Do your parents know where you are?"

He's definitely more guileless than your own daughter, answering directly and honestly in a quiet tone, "My dad's at work and my nanny was supposed to pick me up when school ended."

Okay, so clearly neither parent nor temporary guardian are aware that this boy is no longer at the school. They'll be frantic. Just as you're about to ask several more questions, hopefully leading to a quick resolution, you get a call, screen indicating it's your daughter's school, so you have both kids move into the living room as you pick up.

You're not too happy to hear about the early release at this point, given the lack of heads up and you make sure to give the school a piece of your mind, letting them know you'd be by at another point to discuss this further, before hanging up. If you're this upset and you know your daughter is home safe, you can't imagine what Kiyoshi's father is feeling at this point."

Crouching down in front of your daughter's friend, you wait until you're eye level with a patient, unhurried expression on your face, "Kiyoshi, do you know your father or nanny's phone number?"

He answers with a small nod, reciting the digits so clearly from diligent practice that you have to smile as you type it in and then stand back up to make the call, "Ryoka, why don't you show him your toys while mommy makes a call? Only the ones here in the living room where I can see you, okay?"

Your daughter dutifully nods but you catch the smug smile of success she throws her friend, likely having planned this improvised playtime with him. You'll definitely be having a serious talk with her later about safety and responsible decisions but you move slightly away for now, keeping an eye on the kids while the phone rings out.

"Suna." A deep voice answers on the other end, a little clipped but mostly unreadable.

"Hi.. Suna-san- I assume I'm speaking with Kiyoshi's father?"

There's a pause and then the voice gets sharper, "If you're calling back from the school, I don't want to hear it right now. I'm leaving now to find my son, but you can expect to hear ba-"

"I'm not from the school. My daughter is friends with your son and he's safe at my house."

"He's- he's with you." There's finally emotion other than anger and annoyance, it's an odd sort of relief and slight confusion mixed with a new wariness, "And who exactly are you?"

"I'm L/n F/n, as I mentioned, your son and my daughter are friends. I was pretty surprised to see them both show up at my house just minutes ago and have a bone to pick with the school too. But I would have wanted to know that she was okay before anything else if the positions were reversed so I'm calling you now. You said you were leaving work? Your son is safe, Suna-san, and he will be while we wait for you here. I'll text you my address."

As you're speaking you've already pulled your phone away to quickly text your address to the number you're on the line with. You can still hear if he speaks though but there's another pause from him and then, "Got it, thank you. You said they just showed up? How did they get there?"

"I'm pretty sure they walked, but I was going to cover that after I spoke with you. How far are you?"

His tone is back to unreadable but you think it's calm rather than neutral. "It's about a 30 minute drive, I'll be there in 20."

"Please don't rush, Kiyoshi is safe here. If it's okay with you, I'll make them snacks while we wait. There's no really no need to drive recklessly." It'll be easy to put something small together for the kids from the dinner you'd prepped for earlier.

There's amusement colouring his voice, "Thanks for the concern, L/n-san. I'll be there in 25, then."

You chuckle at the small compromise and there's a moment of silence between you both until you think to ask, "If you haven't left yet, do you want to quickly say hi over facetime?"

"You want to videochat?" He sounds confused again and you laugh in response.

"I meant with your son. You know, to check in on him."

He pauses yet again and then the amusement is back, "It should be fine.. unless you're going to tell me you're holding him hostage or something."

"Yeah, sure, or something." You roll your eyes with your dry response. What do you even say to that coming from a complete stranger? "We'll see you soon, then."

"L/n-san." You lift the phone you were lowering back to your ear when you hear him call out to you, "Thank you again."

"No need."

"Not everyone would have reacted as quickly and efficiently. Or maybe even bothered."

You can't imagine what parent wouldn't have been compelled to react in a similar manner but you don't say anything, uncomfortable accepting thanks for such a seemingly human reaction.

He seems to either understand or realize you don't have a response and you hear him chuckle lightly, the sound tugging at your own lips in sheepish acceptance, then he finally replies, "I'll see you soon, then."

You end your call and turn to fully face the two kids again. They've already managed to create a messy pile of toys they've pulled out and then discarded from Ryoka's toy box. Almost as if they feel you watching, they both stop their odd conversation about monsters and cats, and turn to face you simultaneously.

You suppress your smile at their adorable wide-eyed expressions and ask, "Who's hungry?"

After the snacks are quickly devoured, the kids try to convince you to play hide-and-seek and, thinking nothing of it since Suna-san should be arriving soon to pick Kiyoshi up, you tell them you'll all play later and convince them to build a Lego structure instead. Happy to have them work on an activity that keeps them occupied in one place for the remainder of their time together, the time passes by quickly as you help them put together their incredibly creative vision.

When the bell finally sounds through your house, precisely 23 minutes after your call, you find yourself opening the door and looking up to a much taller, and much younger man than you'd expected. He actually seems to be about your age, in his mid-twenties, which is surprising because you'd thought you were one of the youngest parents at your daughter's school.

There's a quick look of surprise that likely mirrors yours on Suna-san's face before it's replaced smoothly with a polite expression. You pull away from his startling, keen eyes to step back and gesture for him to enter your foyer as you welcome him, equally politely, "Please, come inside, Suna-san. They're in the living room."

He hesitates only a moment before stepping into your home, stopping again to toe off his shoes before following you deeper, into the living room. The sounds of the kids chatting reaches you both well before you enter and you notice him watching his son with a small smile on his face before he catches you looking. His only response is the quirk of an eyebrow as if daring you to say something.

You only smile and call out, "Ryoka, it's time to say goodbye to Kiyoshi. His father's here to take him home."

The two kids look up, smiles fading as their eyes tear up. It's safe to say neither you nor Suna expect what comes next, as both children break out in tears.

Suna exchanges a surprised look with you, then crouches down with his arms stretched out, voice soothing as he calls to his son, "Kiyo, come here. Daddy missed you. Didn't you miss me too?"

You're surprised at the sweet, gentle tone from the intimidating man, even more so by the pure affection he easily displays for his son. He's nothing at all like his first impression on the phone, the cold, clipped tone nowhere to be found. You relax a little, not having noticed the uncomfortable tension that had slowly crept in by the thought of inviting an unknown man into your home, even if for the most innocent of reasons.

It doesn't work to relax his son, however, who only breaks out into unbelievably loud wails, particularly unexpected from the quiet boy you'd gotten used to over the past half hour. Ryoka's cries rise with Kiyoshi's and their chubby arms encircle each other as if to send home the point that you'd have to literally pry them apart.

You're pulled from your thoughts when Suna looks up at you a little helplessly, also seeming to be thrown for a loop, "It looks like Kiyo has grown very attached to your daughter. I'm sorry, I can just pick him up and go but..."

He trails off and you find even more respect rising for the man, he's clearly trying not to just completely run his son's life on a schedule or in a way that works only for him.

"But you don't want to break his heart when he's having so much fun?" You finish his sentence with a grin that prompts a self deprecating smile from him.

"Yeah, great parenting, huh?"

"It's really different parent to parent and, trust me, no one's an expert." You pause as you consider an idea, his peridot eyes steady on yours as if he can see you might have a solution to present. Impressive perception, and patience too.

You have a positive vibe and good feeling, so you don't ponder it too long before offering, "Why don't we let the kids play a little longer? They still have an abundance of energy and excitement from the improvised change in their daily schedule but once they've tired themselves out, I'm sure it'll be easier to separate them."

It's Suna's turn to pause, still holding your gaze with a carefully neutral one himself as he contemplates your offer. "I don't want Kiyo and I to be an inconvenience..."

"Not at all, it's just me and Ryoka as it is and dinner's already prepped so we'll just play some games with them and wait them out."

It's just as you say the word dinner that you hear a low, hungry rumble and there's another moment of silence but this time, you only see the tips of Suna's ears, which tint red as he hangs his head for a few seconds.

Biting your lip to hold back your laugh, you add, "You and Kiyo are more then welcome to join us for dinner first. I only gave them light snacks before and if there's one other thing than playtime that makes children more at ease, it's food. As I mentioned, it's already prepared and there's more than enough for four."

He keeps his head bent for another second before finally raising it and with the motion, he stands back up to his full height so you're tilting your head back to look up at him again. His smile is both sheepishly thankful and appreciative when he accepts, "If it's really not too much trouble, we would love to. Thank you."

The children cheer, tears still drying on their faces, but it seems like they've actually been eavesdropping through their shared tantrum and have grasped that playtime is extended. What an eventful day for them.

Suna offers his help but everything's pretty much ready so you put him to work setting the table and helping the kids wash their hands. He's equally gentle and no different with Ryoka, chuckling and treating her like royalty when she insists she's a princess from her most recent favourite movie. He's got them talking about the structure they're building and the two almost seem to finish each other's thoughts, eliciting a grin from both you and Suna when you share another look.

When you're seated at the table, across from Suna with Ryoka at your side and Kiyoshi across her, you notice how relaxed and comfortable the atmosphere is, enjoying it for the space of several heartbeats before realizing you forgot to offer the man a drink.

"Suna-san, would you like a beer? Or something else to drink?"

"I'm good, thanks, I can't really drink right now." He must see the inquisitive look slide on and quickly wipe off your face because he laughs and elaborates, "I play volleyball, professionally, so I have to be strict with my diet even if it's off season."

Your mouth drops in surprise, his stature and build making perfect sense now. Of course, how fitting. Your tone is heavy with respect when you reply, "That's incredible! I was a setter in high school so I know the discipline that comes with going pro, I could never have thought to pursue it professionally. You must be really dedicated."

So it would seem the light blush doesn't just kiss his ears when he's flustered or embarrassed, you can see the flush dust across his cheeks, however faint. It's pretty adorable, not a word you thought you'd use to describe this towering man but here you are, eyes sparkling and a soft smile teasing your lips.

He pauses before placing the meat platter back down in the center, eyes definitely not shy as he studies your expression with a small smile of his own gracing his lips. "Ah..thanks. And you can drop the honorifics by the way."

You already have in your head so you're glad he brought it up because you would have hated to slip up accidentally. "You as well then."

There's a moment of silence in which you think to ask, "How about any alternatives? I've got wine but also various other options if you want to take a look through the fridge."

"A glass of wine should be good, actually. Thank you."

"Mommy, can I have some too?" Ryoka looks up at you with pleading puppy dog eyes which has Kiyoshi attempting to match the look aimed at his dad with a low, "Me too?"

You both laugh and Suna tries to explain that wine isn't good for growing kids but you shake your head at him, prompting him to arch an expectant eyebrow while he waits for you to handle the denial.

"Ryoka, Kiyo, the wine mommies and daddies drink would just make you feel sick and bad. But I have something better for little princes and princesses that even adults like your dad and I aren't allowed to drink. Would you both like to have that instead?

Thank god they're not at an age to question every word out of your mouth just yet because they cheer for this 'special drink' so you move back over to the kitchen to pour it out, along with Suna who offers to help but by the playful look in his eyes, he's just curious to see what you'll pull together.

You direct him to the glasses and bottle opener as you take two plastic, stemmed glasses that mimic wine glasses in different colours and pour out cranberry juice in each. You hear Suna's chuckle and turn to find him already holding an open bottle in one hand and two glasses caught between his fingers by their stems in the other.

Wow, he looks really good in your kitchen, doesn't he? It's your turn to blush and he doesn't miss a thing, eyes tracking the heat as it flushes your face before his gaze drops to your lips, his own tilting from a grin to a teasing smirk.

Your only defense is to roll your eyes and turn to head back to the table, where the kids are now picking through the items they like versus the ones they don't and trading their unwanted portions off onto each other's plates. Okay, and that's even more adorable. It's only been weeks since they started classes and likely met, how have they become so close so fast?

"Cute, huh?" You startle at the low whisper in your ear, a small puff of air caressing the shell of your ear, when you realize Suna stopped right behind you to observe the same scene. His body heat seems to seek you out once you're fully aware of him, instilling you with the crazy urge to just lean back into his broad chest as he continues to whisper to you softly. Or just wrap his arms around you and hold you tight.

Wait, what- You stop yourself from looking back to meet his gaze, because you'd definitely expose your thoughts then but you have a feeling he's very aware of exactly what he's doing and not opposed to the reaction you just had. Either way, you just met this man today, right?

Ugh. You move forward instead, placing a cup in front of each kid, both reaching for it instantly. Ryoka tastes hers right away but Kiyo examines it first before tentatively attempting a tiny sip. And it works!

Each of their faces twists slightly at the tangy taste of the cranberry juice but seem to have picked up enough to know that 'wine' isn't exactly a sweet drink so both exchange a look before smoothing their faces out into haughty imitations of bored satisfaction. Haha. Little con artists.

You and Suna are grinning at each other too, as you each reclaim your seats and he pours out the wine for you both. The conversation flows easily once you're all settled and digging in, kids chiming in with random questions or requests for help with certain foods, but then zoning out constantly as they talk about their plans for the structure and something about cats again, as if it's just the two of them at the table.

Suna asks about your time playing volleyball and you ask him about his, noticing he has the same passion for the sport as you but definitely also an impressive dedication. He talks about his mindset in high school compared to now and you talk about your chosen vocation.

You both even have a chance to pull the full story about the events from earlier in the day, kids explaining that there was an unplanned early release, you and Suna putting two and two together to realize that the school did mess up big time. You both put it aside to deal with later and when he asks what you've covered with the kids already, you mention you didn't think it was appropriate to give Ryoka a lecture in front of Kiyoshi, keeping in mind that Suna might want to handle the discussion differently with his son.

He seems taken aback in a good way, throwing a very appreciative look your way and states that you're an incredibly considerate person and an amazing mom, prompting a full blush to work it's way back onto your face as your daughter throws her little arms as far around you as she can, agreeing very vocally with the amazing mom part.

You have to send her a teasing but firm look, adding that you're definitely saving a lecture on safety and responsibility for later since they shouldn't have left school grounds without an adult they know and trust. When Suna sees Kiyo's small look up at him, it's as if all he needs is a look to convey the same sentiment to his son but he places a hand on his head to ruffle his hair in a soft gesture.

It's near the end of dinner that conversation about each child's other parent arises. Your answer with a nonchalant shrug is to easily state, "Like I said before, it's just me and Ryoka."

Suna borrows a page from your book with a cheeky smile, right down to imitating your casual shrug and stating, "Likewise, just me and Kiyo."

There's nowhere to look but the steady gaze of his piercing eyes. Actually there are many other places but you're drawn in by a seemingly mutual pull.

"Mommy!" You're daughter's call has your eyes finally glancing away to meet hers instead, "You promised we could play hide-and-seek later!"

"Oh," You blink in shock at the long memory of children, "I did say that. But.."

"Please?" It's Kiyo's small voice that makes you pause and look towards Suna with wide eyes.

Oh, he's trouble because he's looking back at you and rounding out the group as the third pair of sparkling, mischievous eyes as he too asks with a teasing lilt, "Please?"

You have to laugh and agree, but only to a few rounds and only after the dishes have been cleaned. So Suna helps the kids wash their hands again before joining you at the sink, waving away your objections about being a guest and insisting he return the favour of an incredible meal.

Between the two of you, you make quick work of the dishes and it's time to deliver on your promise. You start of as 'it', counting down loudly by the front door while the kids rush off with Suna to find hiding spots around the house. You make sure to find Suna first and he trails after you as you hunt down the darling little treasures, finding Kiyoshi last. He really is good at hiding and staying quiet.

Suna's next and then Kiyoshi, then finally Ryoka is caught first and it's her turn to find the three of you. You follow the middle blocker's lead in allowing Kiyoshi to settle on a hiding spot and when he gestures to a closet in one of the guest rooms you quickly tuck yourself into the empty space.

But it seems the little boy has either run out of ideas of places to hide, or he's feeling rushed by Ryoka's faster countdown because he pushes his dad in with you and, frantically looking around after studying the lack of remaining space between the two adults, closes the door instead and you hear his little feet patter off.

Leaving you and Suna almost pressed together in the small, dark space. The silence between the two of you is heavy with restrained tension, the flirty comments and teasing glances throughout the evening hitting you full force as you realize the unintentionally intimate position you're in.

There's a thin beam of light streaking in from the crack between the doors that falls across Suna's face, making his already ethereal eyes appear even more unearthly, like glowing gems in the shadows that mask the rest of his face. They're trained right back on you as if he can see clearly in the dark, his intent gaze probing your own.

"I'd have suggested buying me dinner first..." His voice rings clear with mischievous amusement, quiet enough to reach your ears through the heavy gloom, "but I guess you already did."

You bite your lip to stop your smile, trying to shake off your overwhelming awareness of the man a breath away from you, "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Suna's chuckle is low, sending curious shivers resounding through you and his husky response succeeds in spiking your temperature, "If you want it to be. Or we could just save that part for later."

"Later, then." Why is it that your voice sounds so seductively throaty?! Is that really you?

In the inky darkness, all your other senses are on high alert so you almost jump when you feel his fingers brush at yours, trying to calm your racing pulse to no avail, as they tangle with yours oh so briefly. Then he's sliding them lightly up, brushing past your sensitive wrists, skating over your arms and shoulders and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake before one slides under the fall of your hair, to curve around the nape of your neck.

While the fingers there tangle into your hair, gentle pressure drawing you forward and up on your toes, the other hand only caresses the side of your neck before finally settling softly to cup your cheek. Is this really happening? With a quiet but charming man who was all but a stranger to you until today?

Any further questions slip from your mind and you only have a second to register the smallest shift of his head before his lips are softly pressing down on yours. Instead of butterflies or tingles, you feel as if the very floor beneath your feet tilts, disorienting you further in the inky darkness. But it doesn't matter much when his arms slide around you to gather you close, eliminating the already laughable amount of space between you.

Suna finally deepens the kiss when you give in to the urge to press yourself closer, a new ferocity seeming to overtake you both as you each devour the other. You have no idea where he ends and you begin, only focused on the sensational moment, as you chase each other's lips in the darkness.

It could have been seconds or minutes, or longer still, but you've lost track as you match his intensity. The desire only deepens when he elicits a deep groan, drawn out by your delicate bite on his lower lip and reverberating through you like am electric current. His grip in your hair tightens and you feel almost delirious, caught in this ardent spell.

You two finally separate for air, short gasps from you both gradually slowing until it's silent again. There's a new tension but also an undeniable relief in the air between you. You feel compelled to say something so you hastily drop the first thought that pops into your head.

"Talk about seven minutes in heaven."

He laughs, louder this time, as if he's forgotten why you're both hiding there in the closet in the first place. To be honest, so did you for a couple minutes there. And you suppose it probably only has been that long, an assumption he corroborates with his response. "Can I get the full seven, then?"

But before you can respond, the closet doors are yanked open with a dramatic move that can only be your daughter, her voice happily calling out her delightful victory, "Found you!"

You send a wry look Suna's way as your eyes slowly adjust to the light, "I'm sure your laugh just now gave our spot away."

He places a hand to his chest, acting wounded with a sad look thrown at Ryoka who only nods excitably in response. Kiyoshi is standing behind her with a smile on his face, proud that it took longer than usual and he makes it a point to state, "I gave them that spot. It was my idea."

They start to walk away with her congratulating him at being a hide and seek master, her acknowledgment prompting a change in their focus to discussing classic versus strategic spots at school. You're thankful for the moment to completely regain your composure and you make sure to settle your expression into something nonchalant when you look back over at Suna.

Yeah, you're probably not fooling him if that teasing smirk is any indication of his keen awareness.

"Suna, that-"

"Rintaro."

"What?"

"That's my name. Rintaro."

"Oh I- That wouldn't be very appropriate." You realize the irony too late as the rebuttal slips automatically from your slips.

His eyebrow raises in a sardonic salute, both of you aware that you're each well past the point of being worried about that now.

"Call me Rin, then, or any variation. But don't kiss me like that and then call me Suna." He sounds torn somewhere between teasing and serious but you understand the sentiment.

Licking your suddenly dry lips, conscious of the speedy pace your.. relationship with this man has been moving, you don't give yourself a chance to hesitate before you respond, "Then call me Y/n."

That slow, answering smile is everything you didn't know you wanted. You're not going to question this unexpected attraction. It's mutual, it's consuming, and it's something you don't think you can walk away from at this point. You're both adults as it is and, it seems, both in silent agreement to let this unfold as it may.

"Daddy," Kiyo pokes his head back into the room, "You're it this time! Hurry up."

Suna walks ahead to pick his son up and swing him in the air, asking, "Weren't you caught first, kiddo?"

"Yeah, but I'm tagging you in because I don't want to be it this round." He aims wide, earnest eyes at his dad. Suna chuckles, likely at the whimsical but simple reasoning, but unsurprisingly complies.

"Okay, but this is the last round, then. And you all better find some really great spots to hide." With a brief pause just before he walks out of the room, he looks back over his shoulder to you, gaze holding yours steady with a confident smirk, "I'm really good at getting what I'm after."

You're left alone to digest that pointed declaration, holding your hand to your warm cheeks for a quick moment before dropping them and following the others out.

As promised, you all play one more round in which you're found first, probably by design, if the challenging smirk Suna throws your way is any indication. Then Ryoka and Kiyoshi are found in equally short order, the latter claiming the title of ultimate winner - at least for today's game, as Ryoka makes a point to stubbornly state.

The kids are still really energetic, remnants from the excitement of the game, so you settle them down to continue their Lego project with the hopes it'll help them wind down quickly. For additional guarantee, you also set a children's movie to play in the background, hoping it'll catch their attention and hold it long enough to help finally relax them.

Suna joins you on the couch, handing you another glass of wine while he settles in just beside you so that his side is as close to pressed up against yours that he thinks he can get away with. Not that you're complaining, no, but it is very distracting when his thigh shifts against yours or his arm moves to settle on the couch behind you.

It's distracting every time he makes a comment in between the silent moments, teasing remarks that steal your attention for long stretches after he's done speaking. It's distracting when you think you're both engaged in pretending to watch the movie, only for his breath to brush your ear whenever he leans in to speak.

It's distracting when he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear before letting his next playful words slip from his tempting lips. And it's distracting when you look over to make a comment of your own and find him already studying you.

You wonder what he sees, but it's undeniable that his interest in you seems to only get stronger rather than wane. You feel the same, undoubtedly drawn and inconceivably connected to this man you've known for hours. It feels more like you've known him for years.

Finally winding down near the end of the movie, Ryoka and Kiyoshi move to the couch, one on each lap and holding hands between them as they start to slump down with heavy, sleepy eyes.

"I'm sad to say, I think it's time for Kiyo and I to head out." Suna's caught it too, the kids are well past the capability of throwing a tantrum again. But even more so, they're both happily sated with their time today, left with great memories of a fun, impromptu play date.

It's time for them to leave, and you and Ryoka see them off to the door.

As he helps Kiyoshi with his shoes, Suna thanks you once again, sincerely and without motive, "Thank you so much for everything today, Y/n."

"Me too, but as I said before, don't thank me for any of it."

"Hm. Well, it wasn't really a great situation to start, but I'm glad with the way it turned out. Meeting you is something I can't regret." His smile is flirtatious but sweet, and you do get butterflies now, finding yourself at a momentary loss for words.

You're thankfully both distracted once the kids move to give each other hugs and when you and Suna comment on their closeness, Ryoka simply states, "Yeah, of course. He's my brother now, right Kiyo?"

"Mhm. We both said we wanted a brother or sister-"

"So now we have each other!"

That's so completely adorable. You glance back over to Suna, who's already looking at you with amusement. Children can be so heartbreakingly precious.

Of course, Suna just has to comment, trademark smirk right back on his face, "Brother and sister, huh? Sounds good to me. What do you think, mom?"

Did he really? Just.. wow. You're definitely red all over, that was so highly suggestive on so many levels. You're okay with the fast pace that swept you off your feet today, but really- acting like co-parents... buy a girl dinner first. Damn.

"I think it's great you two have such a strong bond. You'll keep watching out for each other, yes?"

They enthusiastically nod their agreement and you send a challenging look Suna's way to see if there are any more awkward comments he wants to drop on you before the night is over. He takes pity with a small smile though, sending you a playful wink before turning to open the door with Kiyo's hand slipping in his.

They both wish you and Ryoka a good night as her own hand finds yours and two of you watch them walk over to, and settle in, Suna's car before you finally close and lock the door. Looking down at your daughter with a gentle smile, you say, "We'll save the talk about your choices from earlier today for tomorrow. But I hope you had a good day, munchkin."

"Yes, yes! Thank you so much, mommy!" She wraps her arms around your legs as you place a soft hand on her head, "I love you!"

"I love you too, baby. Let's get you to bed. Why don't you go pick out your pajamas for the night while mommy quickly finishes up here?"

She nods before running off to her room while you go over to the living room to turn off the TV and lights. When you're placing your wine glass in the sink, thinking of the moment Suna had brought it to the couch for you as if he somehow knew what you might want, you hear a text come in from your phone.

A/N: Okay so this is the final draft of a scenario that's been taking some space in my head every night when I'm trying to get some sleep. It was initially planned as a set of short scenarios for my Fayevourites (you can find the link to the anthology series up above, the other character concepts are explained there) but when I started writing Suna's story, it stretched much longer than anticipated. He has a habit of doing that to me but regardless, all it means is I've had to change some ideas and break the rest up into more manageable chapters. That said, there are three more chapters I plan to release. I'm hoping to start working on the other characters for this series first to keep it even, but I'll basically go where my writing takes me (: I hope you all enjoyed reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

© 2021 fayeimara. All rights reserved. Please do not repost, modify, or claim as yours.

[mieohmy]

𝖳𝗐𝗈 𝖯𝖾𝖺𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖯𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 | 𝖧𝗎𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗎𝗇

PAIRING: best friend! huang renjun x reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, humor, best-friends-to-lovers, childhood-friends-to-lovers, university! au, best friends! au, matchmaking! au, coming of age au

WC: 4.9k

NOTES: none ?/

SUMMARY: in which the universe gives you five quite obvious signs that you should be dating your best friend, but who said it was going to be that easy?

      ⇒ part of the five days a week special. 

#ONE. you met as little kids by fate. 

(or so that’s what you liked to say.)

It was always a pleasant memory to reflect back on when you met your best friend of more than 10 years, huang renjun. You were two peas in a pod, there was never one without the other. Even now, many, many years later where you’re simply two best friends attending college together, barely getting by each day, you never fail to tell the tale to others with a sparkle in your eyes, a fond look on your face.

Back then, little five-year-old you didn’t have to worry about your studies, your bills, your life. Things were a lot simpler. 

The only thing you had to worry about was the other kids at the playground. Your mother was chatting away with the other moms, only checking up on your existence every once in a while when she occasionally remembered. 

Then (and to this day, you still remember what happened so vividly) lee haechan -that little son of a gun- made some stupid remark about your hair, and what else would a five-year-old do but cry?

And when none of the other kids did anything, only laughing and giggling with a cocky little haechan in the middle of them, you cried even harder, getting up and running away from this horrible place. 

You weren’t really sure where your tiny legs took you, but you continued your escape, tears blurring your vision. 

When you finally came to your senses, finally stopped crying, and only left with the sniffles, is when you properly looked at your surroundings.

It was suddenly much darker outside, the sun already disappearing and stars preparing for their entrance. And you found yourself in a dark alley, tall, looming walls trapping you on either side. 

It was empty and deserted, and you felt the solidarity closing in around you. 

Unsure what to do, you kept going on, walking down the dark and dangerous alleyway, scared and afraid. 

You called for your mom and dad. 

Once. Twice. 

Nothing. 

The tears started back up. A sudden noise- until now, you’re still not sure what it was, maybe a rat?- startled you, and then the fear really began to set in again. 

You sat down in the middle of the alleyway, shaking and scrunching your face up in despair. 

Then a crunch sounded from behind you, and you spun around frantically, eyes glittering with unshed tears. 

It’s not what you expected. 

You didn’t expect another kid to be looking back at you. And a completely unfamiliar one at that too. 

He stared down at you, an unreadable expression on his face. The boy looked around the same age as you, give or take. 

But how did he also get here?

You finally spoke up, voice small. “H-how did you find me?”

He sighed, shrugging and kicking the ground with his foot. “I’m not sure. I just moved to this city so I wandered around. and then I forgot where I was and ended up here.” 

You wiped away your tears. “So you’re lost too?”

He simply nods. 

“I-I don’t know how I ended up here. I was just at the playground.....” New tears formed at the corner of your eyes as a pout began to settle on your lips.

The boy huffed. “Crying isn’t going to do anything.”

There’s a silence. Which was followed by increasing sniffles. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Please don’t cry.” He grimaced, looking around. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll find us a way out of here.” 

“How?” You wailed. 

“Well... I actually don’t know....”

You cried out for your mom again, sitting on the cold, hard ground. 

The boy panicked, scratching his head. “Here, uhh, what’s your name?”

You managed to say your name between sucks of breath. 

“Here, y/n.” His voice was smooth and soft, comforting. He squatted down next to you, hand holding out an unfamiliarly shaped object. 

“What is that?”

“Candy. From my old home. And it’s really yummy.” 

“But,” he continued, “you can only have it if you promise to stop crying and come with me.”

You immediately sat up straight, wiping away the wetness again for the nth time. “I promise.”

He smiled and unwrapped it for you, placing it in your palm. You quickly placed it in your mouth, enjoying the tangy taste flooding your senses. You giggled, looking back up at the boy. 

He got up from his knees, holding a hand out and beaming at you. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“But.....” you trailed off, instead opting to just take his tiny hand. 

You never forgot the gleaming look in his eyes as he pulled you along, warm hand wrapped around yours. You never forgot the blanket of safety and security you felt, just by being at his side.  

And when your parents found you two soon after with the police, scared and worried to death, you realized you never asked his name before they took you away to the safety of your home. 

But there was no need. 

Four days later at school, your teacher introduced a new student to your class. 

You immediately sat up straight in your chair once you got a good look at who it was. 

It was him. The voice, speech, -everything was the same. 

“My name is Huang Renjun.”

You echoed his name in your head, wishing to store it safely in the depths of your heart. And when the teacher gestured for him to join the rest of your class, you eagerly got up-the first one might you add-walking over and holding out your hand with a toothy smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Huang Renjeon!”

“It’s renjun!” he immediately snapped. 

Your face fell. 

Renjun sighed, taking your still extended hand. 

“Nice to meet you too, I guess....”

And from then on, you would’ve never guessed how much he would mean to you in the years to come. 

#TWO. you guys somehow have the same interests and hobbies. 

Coincidence, perhaps? Or a sign?

You both found out pretty early on that you shared a lot of common interests- drawing, singing, whatever you did, Renjun did too. Well, maybe all interests and hobbies except for one of your newly developed ones.

Renjun has no clue when it started, perhaps it was right after school started back up again? Or maybe after thanksgiving break?

Either way, your new hobby was getting on his nerves. 

If your best friend suddenly started setting you up with random girls, wouldn’t you be a tad annoyed too? 

Yes, sometime in the first half of school-Renjun couldn’t help but shudder- you started playing matchmaker. 

“Instead of bothering me, you should get a girlfriend or a boyfriend,” you insisted. And he declined. 

Renjun couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on. You had never done anything quite like this before, it was utterly confusing.

When he asked, you simply stated something along the lines of-

“In all my years of knowing you, I’ve never seen you have a crush or been romantically interested in anyone.” (He rolled his eyes at that.) “It’s like a fun quest... I’m on a mission to find you a compatible partner!” (He double rolled his eyes at that.) 

And today was no different. 

Renjun pushes the door out from your shared art class, holding it open for you.

He checks the time with his other free hand. “Do you wanna go to the coffee shop down the street? I know your test isn’t for another two days.”

You grimace, walking along the sidewalk next to him. “I don’t know, I still feel like I don’t understand anything at all....”

Renjun squeezes your hand, which you didn’t even realize had grabbed yours. “Come on, y/n. You need to take a break. I can help you cram tomorrow.”

You scrunch your face in disbelief. “Really?”

Renjun blinks twice, a sure sign that you quickly picked up on when you were younger that he was, to be frank, straight-up lying in your face. 

“Of course.”

You scoff, head tilting to the side for a couple of seconds before focusing on him again with a smirk on your face, a lightbulb going off in your brain. Renjun silently gulps. 

“I’ll go with you if you go out on a date with my new friend.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, he groans, stomping his foot and running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Again with the dating? You’ve set me up on at least seven- and none of them have worked out!”

“Yeah, and because of who?” you mutter under your breath. 

“What?” 

Your head snaps up, and you quickly shoot a smile to appease him. 

“Nothing, I promise you’ll like her. Even though we just met, she’s super nice- she’s into the whole alien conspiracy too!”

Renjun’s eyes bore into yours, unmoving. He tries his best not to break- no matter how hard it may seem. 

“Please?” You pout, bringing your face closer and closer to his. 

He fakes a disgusted look, although the reddening of his ears says otherwise. Letting out a sound of protest, he skillfully avoids your intense gaze. “Alright, alright! Geez, if it makes you happy then I’ll do it.....”

You laugh in success, a bright, clear sound that rings through renjun’s body, before taking his hand and dragging him along down the street. 

✢

“He can just come home and stay with us!” Your mother’s voice filters through the phone from the other end, insistent and no-nonsense tone making you sigh and your voice come out hesitantly.

“But mom.....” you bite your lip, spinning in your chair in circles, a perfect representation of how you currently felt.

Her indignant voice cuts back in. “What’s wrong with renjun living with us for the break? He’s practically family!!”

There’s a pause.

“Why? Did you two fight? Or do you not like him anymore?”

You sit up rigid in your chair. “What?! No- it’s nothing like that...” 

“Well, then tell him he’s free to come and stay at our house.” 

You grumble in defeat, saying a half-hearted goodbye before hanging up the phone. 

Don’t take this the wrong way, you would love for Renjun to live with you and your parents for spring break- especially after he revealed he couldn’t go back home to his parent's place that was like at least a 4-hour drive- but that meant seeing him every day. 

And seeing him every day meant you basically had every chance to tell him- something you’ve been hiding from your best friend for months now. 

It definitely wasn’t easy keeping a secret from renjun- your best friend who knows almost everything about you, but you would say it was a pretty big and important decision.

Not to mention the fact that it would completely alter your whole relationship with him. 

✢

“Renjun!!!!” Your mom practically squeals, engulfing him in a tight hug. You watch from the side, unamused.  

“What about your own child?”

She rolls her eyes, ushering the both of you into the brightly lit house. 

Renjun drags his suitcase past the threshold, taking in the view of the familiar house that he hasn’t seen in so long, or that hasn’t changed one bit either. 

“You can stay in y/n’s room, right?”

You jolt upward, two heads turning to your mother with wide eyes and dropped opened mouths. “What?”

Your mother crosses her arms. “What? I thought you two slept in the same room all the time?”

“When we were younger....” Renjun mumbles. 

“You guys have been best friends for so long and you suddenly can’t share a room?”

You pinch your nose bridge, puffing out a breath of frustration. “Alright, alright, Renjun can stay in my room.”

You lead the way up to your bedroom, pushing open the door slowly. You’re not sure what to expect- nothing’s really changed after all. Renjun smiles at the sudden wave of memories washing over him, all your old photos and things kept in your room still in the exact places.

“It’s the same.”

You nod, laughing softly. “Yeah, you think I underwent a dramatic transformation or something? Not under your watch.”

You walk over to a middle school photo of you two, the cringey phase still not set in yet, laughing and giggling at the youthful versions of you. 

You make a quick joke at your awkward hairstyle back then, turning to catch renjun’s reaction. 

He stares at you with a soft smile and a hidden, deeper meaning shining through his eyes, and it catches you off guard. 

When he finally notices the sudden change in the air, snapping out his daze, your mother’s voice cuts through the silence, a commanding shout calling the both of you down for dinner. 

You decide to clear your throat, stiffly gesturing for him towards the door so you two can go down to eat. You don’t mention it, and neither does Renjun.

After dinner, which was just formalities and boring catch-up, you decided to head up back to your room to get ready for bed. 

You collapse on your bed with a sigh, feeling content with a full belly after stuffing your face with home-cooked meals as Renjun stands awkwardly to the side. 

“If you want... I can sleep on the ground. Your mom gave me blankets and pillows so- uh, yeah.”

Your eyes fly open, staring at the ceiling conflictedly. 

“I guess so.”

There’s a painful silence as you get ready for bed. 

Renjun sets up a temporary makeshift mattress on the ground, muttering a quiet goodnight as you flick off the light switch. 

Then it’s dark. And you can’t sleep. 

It’s been perhaps 10 minutes since you turned the lights off? And there’s not a single inch of sleep in your body. 

Your body keeps tossing and turning, mind wandering off to unimportant (read: very important) things. Like your best friend sleeping on the cold, hard ground. 

And suddenly you can’t take it anymore. You let out a loud huff, sitting up in bed in a ruckus. 

You stare at the dark figure on the floor, now alarmed, and turned around at the sound of your outburst, staring back up at you in the dark with a curious look. 

You roll your eyes, scooting over to make room in the spacious bed for one person -and just barely enough for two. 

“You thought I was really gonna let you sleep on the ground?”

“Huh?”

You don’t say anything, just patting the space next to you. 

“Get over here.”

He waits for a second before hesitantly and slowly getting up, like frightened prey in front of their predator. 

You open the covers, welcoming Renjun in with a more content sigh, already feeling warmer and suddenly sleepy. It's a tight squeeze for the both of you, but it just feels right. 

On the other hand, Renjun wills his body to relax. He marvels at how you seem so calm and nonchalant sharing your bed with him. 

To renjun, sharing a bed was a memento of your trust. It was you at your most vulnerable, and still, you were comfortable with letting him in- even if you used to do it all the time when you were younger. 

“Goodnight, renjun.”

He swallows. “Goodnight.”

And when he confirms that you’re asleep, the only sign of movement was through the slow rise and fall of your body, renjun finally whispers the one, two, three words before joining you in dreamland - the truth inside him, the truth that’s practically killing him. 

✢

Your mom places a plate full of tangerines on the table for you and Renjun, the bright, appetizing fruits gleaming in front of you. 

You stare at the plate, not moving, even when Renjun picks up one for himself and starts peeling. 

Your mom frowns. “Why aren’t you eating one, y/n?”

You shrug, placing an elbow on the table for your chin to rest on. But before you can say anything, a hand appears in front of your face. 

You blink, a neatly peeled tangerine suddenly comes into focus, held out in front of you. 

Your head whips to the side. Renjun rolls his eyes, nudging the tangerine closer towards you. 

“Just take it. I know you’re too lazy to peel your own anyways.”

You suddenly feel warm under the gaze of your mom, taking the fruit from him with a small thanks. 

“You guys are so cute.”

You raise an eyebrow. 

Renjun and you share a look, turning back towards your mom. It wasn’t strange for her to say something like that- she always made those kinds of comments about you two, but the way your mom said it this time seemed.... different. like it held much more meaning to it. 

“What do you mean?”

She suddenly laughs, shaking her head with a content sigh. 

“Nothing. It’s just a shame you have to leave us so soon. You’re really gonna miss them, aren’t you renjun?”

He stops chewing immediately. 

“What?”

Your chair moves out from under you with an abrupt, harsh screech as you stand up with wide and panicked eyes, chest heaving. 

Renjun gets up as well, boring holes into you with an intense and confused stare. “What is your mom talking about, y/n?”

You’re not sure what to do, your heart thundering and blood rushing in your ears as you glance, conflicted, between your mom and Renjun. 

You catch her raising a hand to her mouth, shocked but still bewildered. “You didn’t tell him?”

Renjun’s eyes never left you once. “Tell me what, y/n?”

You wish you could’ve said that you sat back down calmly and explained everything to Renjun- everything you’ve been hiding from him. 

Instead, you can only cringe as your legs move on their own accord and take you blasting out from your house in an escape.

In other words, running away from your feelings. 

Until somehow, you find yourself at the local library, bursting through the doors without a single regard for the closing time and signs decorating the doors. 

All you needed was to escape. 

But renjun would never let you do that. 

You hear his footsteps echoing yours, attempting to keep up with your furious pace. 

“Y/n-stop running from me!”

You don’t say anything, ignoring his words and pushing past the countless bookshelves. 

Until you reach a dead-end, the books staring back at you almost tauntingly. 

“Y/n.” His voice echoes from behind you. 

“Please look at me.”

You clench your fists, attempting to breathe in and out steadily, but your voice still comes out small and strained. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Please... for me?”

You curse your best friend- you could never resist him. 

Slowly and reluctantly, you turn around to face Renjun. 

He states at you, so concerned and almost hurt, it makes your heart clench. “Y/n...”

You close your eyes, inhaling and exhaling once more. “You’re right. I should explain. But first, I think we should go to a more appropriate place...” you mumble. 

Keeping his mouth shut, Renjun tersely nods and attempts to open the door. (Note: attempts)

#THREE. you somehow get locked in a library together. alone.

Renjun groans, falling back on the ground with a thud. His previous attempts to get the door open failed- obviously. 

How could you be such an idiot to forget that the library closed at 6pm? Which was around the same time you- in a flurry of emotions- ran past the doors with Renjun hot on your trails. 

And that was probably how the automatic doors locked right as the clock struck 12, meaning your fate was completely sealed in. 

You slump to the ground, hopeless with no phone or any way to contact help since you ran away in such a rush.  

Your voice comes out dead, monotone. “Give up renjun. No one is going to find us until the library opens back up in the morning...”

He gives one last shove, one last fruitless attempt before making his way over and collapsing on the ground next to you. 

A tense silence falls over the room. 

Renjun waits patiently. He tries, gives it at least a couple of minutes before he can’t take it anymore, and calls your name out again. 

You bite your lip, knowing this was inevitable. 

Taking a deep breath, you start quietly, already knowing exactly what he wanted, and so rightfully deserved.

An explanation. 

“Basically... I applied and got into a program overseas that I really wanted. Which means in the summer, I’ll be leaving for at least a year.”

“Or maybe even longer if it goes well,” you lamely add. 

He waits for a beat. 

“That’s all. I would’ve told you earlier, but I didn’t know how long I would stay and... I didn’t know how to bring it up to you.” You whisper guiltily, fiddling with your hands and knees brought up to your chest, head bowed. 

Renjun feels numb.

Is this normal? 

Is it normal to feel this way? 

Because the only thought running through his head is- how will he even be able to live without you? Without seeing your cute face at least once a day- or making random jokes to make you burst laughing or that only the two of you understand? 

Your smiling and cheerful face brightening up his day? Your jokes and quirky banter that always keeps him on his toes? You, who’s always been by his side since you were little kids playing tag on the playground? 

He can’t help but wonder, barely finding the words. 

“....then what was all the setting me up with random people all about? Why do that when you’re about to leave me behind without even saying a single word?”

You inhale, voice small. 

“I wanted to find you someone else like a partner so that you wouldn’t be lonely without me-“

“I wanted to find you someone who could keep you company so you wouldn’t be thinking about me too much. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” you say, voice cracking. 

What you truly and honestly meant was- 

I don’t want to see you move on from me and forget me while I’m thousands of miles away. So instead, I went ahead and tried to find a good person to take care of you, one that I believe is best for you. 

Or in other words, I didn’t want to get my heart broken by huang renjun, so I went ahead and did it on my own. 

Your eyes blink back unshed tears, not understanding why it hurts so much to think about your best friend with someone else, why you don’t want to give him up so easily.

Them living the life that you never knew you wanted with renjun. 

I want you to find someone who cares for you and needs you the way I wish I could-

who loves you the way I wish I could. 

“That’s why I tried to pair you up with a good person- someone who wants you as much as you want them.”

You exhale shakily, trying to avoid eye contact or catch renjun’s reaction. 

“But what if they’re never going to be who I want?”

You hesitate, confused and wondering if you misheard him. 

“W-what?” 

He finally gets the chance, and the sudden confidence to say what he's always wanted to say. What he's been too much of a coward to admit before. 

“I love you.” 

“And anyone else you try to match me up will never be enough because I only want you,” he continues. 

You can barely speak up. “Huh?”

He doesn’t respond, only coming closer with his eyes full of unspoken emotions, forcing you to stare back with your glimmering ones. You swallow, confused at what he’s doing but weirdly entranced, simply watching as he brings a hand to tilt your chin up. 

Renjun asks silently with his eyes, a question to confirm that you’re comfortable - that this is okay and what you want. 

You nod, barely a perceptible one but it’s enough for him. 

#FOUR. he kisses you.

Your eyes widen, body stiffening. And then Renjun quickly pulls back, worried at your lack of a reaction. 

You don’t give him a chance to say anything though, as you pull him back in by the shirt, properly expressing your emotions this time through your lips. 

And he gets it, reciprocating with every part of his body. 

It feels so right. 

This must be it. 

You like your best friend. No, you’re in love with your best friend, even if you knew it before or not.

✢

Eventually, you were able to talk it out and come to an understanding. (as well as escape by calling out for help and getting an unsuspecting passerby to dial for help.)

The next months spent with him were the best days of your life. It was spent exploring new feelings, new experiences that were different from before, living your life to the fullest with your loved ones, and counting down the days until you had to leave. 

You talked about long distance. And the difficulties that came with it. 

But in the end, there’s an unspoken understanding between you two. 

Until the day finally comes. The day of your flight across the world. The day you leave it all behind. 

Your parents already shed their tears the day and night before- including today. You give them one last hug, enjoying the safety of their embrace one last time, before pulling away to face your best friend. 

Your best friend, your boyfriend, your lover, the one person in the world that means everything to you. Your renjun. 

You smile, tears brimming your eyes as he engulfs you in his warmth. 

“I promise I won’t ever forget you.”

“I hope not,” he jokingly whispers back and you hit him softly. 

Just slightly pulling back, noses barely touching, he stares at you with adoration evident in his eyes.  

“I promise I’ll always love you. One day.”

You echo his words. 

“But you know,” you start teasingly, “I could just mess it up and then come back quickly-“

He squeezes you. “If you did that then I would personally go over to where you were and break up with you,” he threatens.

Rolling your red eyes, you add, “ don’t start getting over me and dating others too soon.” He shakes his head playfully, eyes brimming with tears that were just waiting to overflow. 

“I love you, huang renjun.”

“I love you and always will, y/n y/l/n.” He whispers back.

One last hug, one last kiss before you’re released. 

And with that, you’re in the car on the way to the airport, taking off with his heart. 

This is it. You’re going away. 

Away from your loved ones, and away from your home. 

 #FIVE. you find your way back.

You originally planned to keep this a secret, but overexcitement led you to spill the beans to your parents. 

But you desperately pleaded with them to keep it a secret from everyone else (meaning- your best friend) 

The overseas program was wonderful- a great experience that you never regretted accepting, and you learned a lot. 

You learned a lot about what you missed back home, and what you really needed.

It was a good choice. Maybe even the right choice- as it made you discover your true self and priorities.  

Still, it was horribly difficult to communicate with others because of the time difference, work, and busy schedules, all of which you already expected. But you finished strong, and now you were finally able to return after 2 years. 

The excitement courses through you, you can barely make it out of the car and back to your house. 

As much as you want to see renjun, your mother makes you visit your close friends and neighbors to inform them of your return. 

And at the same time, you feel anxiousness and nervousness brewing in your stomach. All the worst doubts and possibilities ring through your head-

What if he doesn’t want to see you?

What if he moved on?

What if he isn’t..... your best friend anymore?

Nonetheless, you head out, and after a few stops, you can’t help but drive to your former college, hoping for a chance to see renjun. 

You had no idea what his schedule was like- if he still even attended this college, but there was something in you that desperately hoped he was indeed here. 

Brushing past unfamiliar people, most probably underclassmen that you had no interest in, you walk around the old campus, all the places still the same to you. 

You smile when your eyes fall upon the building where your shared art class with renjun was, the best memories spent together coming back. But what you didn’t expect was to catch onto a pair of very familiar and recognizable eyes. 

Ones that locked immediately onto yours. 

You can’t resist breaking out into a wide smile from cheek to cheek, hand raising up in a greeting. 

Renjun can’t help but break into an elated grin, stopping in his tracks. 

Even when he was more than 10 feet away- with what seemed like a hundred other students passing in between, it felt like there was nothing in between you anymore, nothing blocking your path to each other. Sure it’s been two years, but it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed. 

He lifts his arm, grip tightening on his bag as he returns a wave with his other hand. 

And it truly hits him. You’re here, you’re back, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. 

You found your way back home.

a/n- aaa here’s the first installment to the 200 special! thank you to anyone waiting for being patient <3

taglist: @skrtbabe @bluejaem​ 

send an ask/dm to be added to the taglist !

[raelly-writing]

Friendly Concern - Y’shtola&Thancred

Y’shtola having a chat with Thancred about his relationship with WoL while the Crystarium is celebrating the defeat of the Lightwardens.

I dunno, I love the Scions familial relationships. This have been sitting in my WIP folder for a while, but I needed a distraction from wallowing in the misery of a cold, so tried to finish it up.

---

“Behave, Thancred – I would be most cross with you were you to make her feel uncomfortable with any unwelcome advances.”

“Y’shtola! My dear, sweet Y’shtola; you wound me. As if I would do such a thing! Besides, were I to overstep, judging by that axe your new friend swings around, it would seem that she is quite capable of throwing me head first into the harbour with nary a trouble if she so felt like it.”

-----

“With the way you are looking at her, half the Crystarium will catch on to the two of you by night’s end.”

To his credit, Thancred did not startle when Y’shtola spoke up just before approaching the table he had taken to momentarily occupy.

Though some of the finer details of his form were lost to her aetheric vision, she saw him turn his head to give her an incredulous look at her as she gathered her skirts around her and settled down in the empty chair next to him. “I have not the slightest idea what you’re speaking of.”

“Feigned ignorance suits you ill,” she rebuked him.

Thancred raised an eyebrow. “I’m merely keeping an eye on Ryne and the twins.”

Y’shtola snorted. On her way over she had caught sight of the young Oracle’s bright form, flanked by the familiar shapes of the twins, in the opposite direction of where he had been looking. “Yet your gaze and steps trail after someone else, looking for all the world like a lost puppy.”

“Hey now, Shtola-”

“You’re even drinking water,” she observed, the lack of alcoholic scent directly from his vicinity a dead give-away.

Thancred shrugged. “Thought I’d change things up for once.”

“I’m certain Urianger’s needling has naught to do with your decision.”

There was a sour look on his face as he gave her a sidelong glance, then his eyes softened slightly and the corner of his lips curled with a teasing smile. “Won’t Runar miss you, master Matoya?”

Clicking her tongue, she tapped his arm. “That’s enough cheek from you, thank you.”

Snorting, he shook his head. “You’re the one who came over here and began interrogating me.”

“Not interrogating,” she replied as she crossed one leg over the other and rested her elbows on it while letting her eyes sweep over the throngs of people celebrating the night’s permanent return. The familiar bright blue hue of Viana’s aether, no longer obscured and overwhelmed by the searing Light, was easy enough to spot, shining brightly amidst all the other shapes - perhaps a bit brighter than what Y’shtola could remember from the Source. “Merely thought I’d take this opportunity to voice some friendly concerns in regards to our dear friend.”

She could all but sense Thancred grow tense and still next to her. His voice was even and neutral as he replied, “Here to voice your disapproval, are you?”

“Not unless you give me a reason to.” She glanced at him, but he kept his eyes trained ahead.  It wasn’t the same flighty young man she had known for most of her life that sat next to her, the one who had always had sweet words at the tip of his tongue, ready to woo whatever pretty person that caught his attention, be it for information or to seek a companion for the night. One who’d played games and hidden behind his extravagant cover persona. He had changed, the pain of losses and hardships stripping away some of the facades he had put up over the years.

Always pretending not to care, when he truly cared too much.

“Really now? Not going to lecture me about responsibilities? That there’s grander things to be concerned about? That it is not my place to be with her?”

A bitter note crept into his voice towards the end, a small but perceptible crack in his calm facade.

Y’shtola’s eyes followed the bright blue shape that was Viana as she moved amidst the people flocking to her. The celebrated hero, the mantle of an age old legend draped around her shoulders by those around her. If Y’shtola knew her, she was most likely yearning to slip away and catch a moment of peace, away from all those tugging at her for a brief moment of her attention.

How far away that day they had first met there in La Noscea felt, fending off a rampaging gobbue together. By the time she’d realized that this upstart adventurer she kept encountering possessed the Echo, it’d been simple pragmatism that’d prompted her to keep an eye on her - as per her mission as a Scion to find others possessing that gift. Far had it been from her mind then, that she’d found a dear and trusted friend that day. How small it’d all seemed then… just another adventurer, one with the combat skills to deal with the primals without fear of being tempered.

Yet Viana had never wavered from whatever tasks they set before her, even as they grew and grew in scope.

Always the figurehead, shouldering the hopes and burdens of those around her, barely willing to take a moment to rest.

Clearing her throat, Y’shtola glanced at Thancred.  ���Knowing her, and you, I wager you have already had a discussion about your responsibilities as Scions.”

There was a brief pause before Thancred shifted in his seat, the belts and buckles hanging off his coat and waist clinking with the movement. “We have, yes.”

“Good. And I trust you’re both responsible adults who won’t let your work slip.”

“Seven Hells Shtola, we’re not some Studium students shirking our homework in favour of a dalliance in a dark corner of the library.”

The indignant tone of his voice made her laugh softly, her tail curling with amusement. “Well, I’d hate to give you both extra homework as punishment.”

Thancred huffed out a laugh of his own. “I dread to imagine what extra homework would constitute from you.”

“Mhm, master Matoya could get quite creative.”

When he did not respond, she looked back at him properly. He was staring straight ahead, not meeting her gaze and his expression carefully schooled into something neutral. When he finally spoke, his tone was even and measured, “You truly won’t object to this?”

Y’shtola rested her chin in her hand, regarding him for a moment. He didn’t move, just waited for her to speak, like a condemned man waiting for his final judgment. “Perhaps I once would have,” she responded quietly. Once, when duty was far more important, and her work came before any personal attachments. But what was life, if one did not cherish the people around you and the fleeting joys there were to be had?

“I just have one thing to say about it,” she continued, “and then I will gladly return to pretending to be oblivious to what’s going on between the two of you.”

“Well, let’s hear it then.”

Standing up, she put her hands on her hips and fixed him with a serious look. “Don’t hurt her.”

For all the years that she had known him, and knew how well he could conceal his expression when he wanted to, there was nothing in the serious look on his face that made her doubt his utter sincerity when he spoke, “I have no plans to. For however long she desires to have me at her side, I will be there.”

A small smile quirked the corner of Y’shtola’s mouth as her tail curled in a subtle display of satisfaction. It was not that she had doubted him - though they’d all been distressed and worried after the events atop mt. Gulg, there’d been something more intimate and personal to his restrained anger and concern that day - but she felt finally more at ease after hearing him declare his intentions out loud. “I will hold you to that.”

The grave look on his face softened into a self deprecating smile. “You, and many others, I wager.”

“And don’t forget it,” she snorted. A bright form in her peripheral caught her attention, and she looked up to see Viana approach them.

“This is looking rather tense,” she observed, the light-hearted tone of her voice marred by a hint of worry. “You two alright?”

“Yes,” Y’shtola replied. “We were merely having a bit of a heart to heart, and are all good now.”

“Aye, as Y’shtola says,” Thancred added with a small nod. “Managed to slip away from your admirers?”

Viana’s expression softened as she laughed. There was something unguarded in the way the two of them looked at each other while speaking, giving Y’shtola the distinct sense that there was a wordless conversation going on between them.

Well, she’d made her point. Saying farewell for now, she left them in peace, feeling more relaxed and at ease with the conversation behind her. She was happy for them. They both deserved someone they could lean on and confide in.

A sudden, fleeting thought that she should visit Y’mithra once she got back to the Source, crossed her mind.

Runar and the rest of the Night's Blessed eagerly called out for her to join them once more, drawing her back to them like a moth to a flame. Ah, the night was yet young.

[marmosa]

evenings with you.

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: none!

A/N: harry potter won’t be the only thing i write about, but for now it might be since a few of my friends are really rekindling my love for the universe (not jkr tho, fuck that bitch).  

***

The common room buzzed with people running about, chatting among themselves and waiting impatiently for their slower friends so they could make their way down to the stand for this week’s Quidditch match. The fireplace crackled nearby, a sharp undercurrent beneath all the busy conversation. 

“You know [y/n],” Evie spoke up, leaning her head back over the armrest of the couch, “red eyeliner really suits you, you should wear it more often.” 

“Thank you darling, I’m not so sure it’ll become a regular part of my attire, but it sure does make spirit wear even more fun to wear,” [y/n] chuckled, glancing at her reflection in the tiny handheld mirror she kept with her at almost all times. 

“Whatever you say. I personally think that that Weasley boy you fancy is going to love it, he does seem like the type to enjoy bold colors,” Evie hummed pretending to ignore the daggers being shot at her form [y/n]’s eyes. 

“Would you quiet down! What if he hears you? We’re all Gryffindor’s you absolute fool,” [y/n] hissed, reaching forward and imitating a strangling motion. 

“I’ll start quieting down once you two go on a proper date, it’s so boring that you’re still taking this long to have finally made a first move,” Evie drawled, pushing herself into a sitting position, “besides-,” she paused and small smirk drawing onto her features, “speak of the red-headed devil.” 

[y/n]’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she quickly composed herself, panicking on not only what she planned to say but why he’d decided to approach them in the first place. 

“Hey Evie,” Fred chimed cheerily, turning to [y/n] with a more reserved gentleness, “hey [y/n]. You two heading down the pitch yet? The game starts soon and we’re gonna need as much support as we can get.” 

“You boys don’t need the flattery, your ego’s already too big from the last two games you absolutely crushed,” Evie scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully at Fred’s request. 

“Hey, you never know how things can turn out. One wrong move and our winning streak could fall apart!” Fred feigned offence at her remark, placing his hand over his chest. 

“If you really need a good luck charm, I heard [y/n]’s kisses are one of the most lucky charms there is,” Evie teased, sticking her tongue out at her now hot-faced friend. 

“I’m not kissing anybody, especially not a quidditch player, it’ll go straight to their head,” [y/n] muttered, tipping her head up in pride to prove her point, “besides, Fred here does just fine without any sort of charm.” 

“Now don’t be that way [y/n], that’s just rude. You know I’ll take any luck I can get though, if the offer still stands,” Fred teased, plopping down on the sofa next to her and tapping his cheek suggestively. 

“Watch it,” [y/n] grit, elbowing him in the side.

“Hey! Careful with the merchandise! I have a match to win,” Fred frowned, holding his hands up to protect himself from any other preemptive attacks. 

“Whatever,” [y/n] muttered, rolling her eyes, “If you so desperately need a good luck charm, here.” She reached behind her and un-clipped her necklace, dangling the golden pendent with the heart charm at the end in front of him. 

“Are you sure,” Fred whispered, eyeing the chain cautiously, “I wouldn’t want to break it.” 

“It’s not fragile, besides, you can repair it with a quick spell can’t you?” She grinned, letting the chain sink into his palm. 

He pressed his lips together to hide his smile, making quick work of putting on the necklace and tucking the pendent under his collar, grinning widely at an amused [y/n], “I have a good feeling about this match.”

“You say that about every match,” [y/n] teased. 

“I mean it this time,” Fred beamed, looking up as Oliver called his name from the portraits entrance, “Well, I must take my leave. Send me your luck from the stands ladies, I bid you adieu,” He nodded before jogging off, scooping his helmet off a nearby table as he ducked out of the common room. 

Before [y/n] could get lost in her thought, Evie squealed loudly and nearly pounced on her, squeezing her arm, “You two were so flirting! That has got to be the cutest thing I have ever seen, I can’t believe you two haven’t made out already!” 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” [y/n] bit back a smile, leaning her head onto her friends shoulder as she allowed herself to bask in the warmth of their small interaction, “Anyways, we have a match to go watch, up and at it now, yeah?” 

“Hot chocolate and gossip afterwards?” Evie asked, shimmying excitedly. 

“Wouldn’t want to do anything else,” [y/n] grinned.

***

“YOU COULD’VE HIT THAT, FOCUS WEASLEY, FOCUS!” [y/n] screamed from the stands, her cries probably getting drowned out among the other student’s commotion. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have teased him so much, it might’ve rubbed off,” Evie sighed, nudging [y/n] slightly, trying to gain her attention. 

“Probably,” [y/n] muttered, furrowing her brows as she eyes the scoreboard, the players, and the commentators, “should’ve given him that kiss,” [y/n] continued, more to herself than anyone else. 

The game continued on, both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff holding their own as the time ticked by to the end. As soon as it had started it had finished, Gryffindor scoring the victory by less than 15 extra points, relief flooding over the students packing into the stands. 

“I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!” [y/n] called out from the stands, as the students jeered and began making their way out of the stands and back into the castle.

Fred caught her eye as he soared around on his broom, beaming wider than she could’ve hoped for, waving at her frantically and nearly falling off his broom in the process. She laughed to herself, muttering a few insults under her breath as Evie dragged her along, insistent on getting their favored spot in the commons before anyone else could. 

The Gryffindor victory did nothing short of energize the entire house, the common room nearly shaking with joy and pride, drinks and snacks alike being shared like the last supper they’d ever have. 

Evie cheered with everyone else, still bounding on the same adrenaline high everyone else was. She plopped back down on the couch, wrapping an arm around [y/n]‘s shoulder, “Have you seen Weasley yet?” she questioned as quiet as she could against the deafening noise of the common room. 

“Nope, not yet, he’s probably off doing something stupid with the boys,” [y/n] shrugged, a little bummed she didn’t get to see him, but still overjoyed with the outcome of the match nonetheless. 

The night passed by in a blur. A few hours packed full of speeches, songs, jokes, stories, and food, everyone eventually falling upon the inevitable crash of exhaustion. Nearly everyone but a few stragglers had retired to their rooms for the night, the common room surprisingly clean for how much chaos had already ensued. 

“I’m heading to bed, you coming?” Evie offered, pushing herself off the couch and onto her feet, sore from the hours of insistent standing. 

“I think I’m going to hang around for a bit, you head up. I’ll make sure I’m as quiet as mouse when I return, won’t wake a soul,” [y/n] promised, waving goodbye to her friend as she snuggled into the couch, the crackling of the fireplace becoming the background to her nightly pondering session. 

She remained engulfed in thought as she recalled the events of today, he face running hot as she remembered Fred’s witty remarks along with the thought that he was indeed wearing her necklace. Her mind reeled enough that she didn’t notice the mop of red hair rapidly approaching her as silent as could be. 

“[y/n]!” Fred whisper-yelled, startling her out of her reverie.

“Shit-! Fred? Don’t scare me like that you moron,” She hissed, shooting her leg out to kick at his defenseless legs. 

He hopped backwards and situated himself on the couch as soon as she’d stopped kicking, “Still got some fight in you huh, the party didn’t wear you out?” 

“Of course it did, I’m just,” She shrugged, unsure of what to answer, “congrats on the win today. You did a,” she paused, pondering her words, “average job. Could’ve been better.” 

Fred’s mouth dropped open as he absorbed her words, shocked and amused that she’d jab at him like that, “You are just being a little spitfire today, aren’t you?” 

“And what’s it to you, Weasley,” She hummed, turning her body to face him, knees still hugged tightly to her chest. 

“I’m starting to think you hate me,” He mumbled, pouting and leaning his head onto the back of the couch. 

“Close but not quite. You can be charming,” She smiled, “sometimes.”  

“You know what,” he sighed, “I’ll take it. Perhaps me keeping your necklace in tact will earn me a few points?” 

He pulled the charm out from under the collar of his hoodie, holding it out like a medal of honor. [y/n] leaned forward and held the pendant in her palm, examining the gold heart for any dents or scratches. Fred held his breath, batting his eyes a few times at how close she was, the smell of cinnamon and sugar heavy coming faintly from her. 

“It seems you did keep it in tact, I’m impressed,” She grinned, letting the pendant swing back onto his chest, tapping it reassuringly with her fingertips. 

“I-uh, thanks,” He stumbled over his words, still recuperating from her closeness, “Do you- do you want it back?” 

“Hm? Oh no, you can keep it. I have a feeling you could use some luck on your side,” She hummed, leaning her chin into the divot between her two knees, looking up at him with inviting eyes. 

“I’ll cherish it until my dying day,” He proclaimed proudly, squaring his shoulder for a moment to enlarge his frame. 

“I have no doubt in my mind that you will,” she giggled, her heart being overtaken by a fuzzy feeling, head lolling to the side. 

Fred glanced down at her sleepy face, her eyes blinking in a slow manner and her body moving sluggishly, “I think you’re ready for bed.” 

“Says who? I’m not even tired,” [y/n] yawned, defeating her entire point. 

“Here, I’ll cut you a deal. I’ll give you my hoodie, just like you gave me your necklace, if you go to sleep right now,” Fred offered, heart hammering in his chest as he realized just how direct he was probably being with such a request. 

Her eyes widened slightly before sinking back down, a lazy smile pulling its way onto her lips, “It’s a deal.” 

Fred grinned widely, yanking his hoodie off by the back of the collar, stretching his arms up and over his head to get it off. 

[y/n] couldn’t help but catch the quick glimpse of his toned abdomen that wormed its way into the open as he forced off his hoodie. She quickly composed herself, trying to not let him see how her eyes were nearly ready to pop out of their sockets. 

“Here, I hope my cologne isn’t too overbearing,” He handed her the hoodie, the locket now on display in the center of divot in his neck. 

She took it graciously and inhaled his scent out of curiosity, her brain going fuzzy at the lovely smell of ceder-wood, evergreen, and mint that filled her nose, “It’s actually really nice, keep buying whatever cologne this is.” 

“Why thank you, that’s actually very kind of you,” Fred smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Of course,” She smiled, “well, a deal’s a deal. Off to bed I go.” 

“Yeah, Of course.”

The two of them stood up, [y/n] pulling on the hoodie and basking in the glow that was Fred. He looked down at her as she fiddled with the sleeves, turning side to side to get a feel for it, the gesture itself making Fred’s face burn red. 

“I think I look ready to take on the world, what’s your take?” She chuckled, being slightly taken aback when she looked back up to see Fred covering the bottom half of his face with his hand, the tips of his ears burning red. 

“It, yeah, it looks great. Grey suits you, you should wear it more often,” he nodded, still refusing to make eye contact with her. 

“Thanks,” [y/n] nodded, suddenly embarrassed to have even agreed to take it in the first place, “Well, goodnight Fred.” 

“Goodnight [y/n],” he passed her a tight-lipped smile as she shuffled off to her dormitory, he mind suddenly clouded with doubt. 

“She’s gonna be the death of me,” Fred muttered to himself, watching her disappear around the bend, cursing under his breath and heading off to his own dormitory. 

***

“HE GAVE YOU HIS HOODIE!” Evie shouted, shaking [y/n] awake as their other two roommates chuckled to themselves, running around as they got ready for breakfast. 

“That he did,” [y/n] replied in a groggy voice, stretching out her limbs as Evie paced back and forth next to her bed, going on about “a date not being far behind” or something of the sort. 

“Woah, woah, woah, slow your roll there chief,” [y/n] sat up and rubbed at her sunken eyes, “It doesn’t mean anything.” 

Evie stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at [y/n] with complete disbelief, “You’re kidding right? That’s the most idiotic thing that has ever come out of your mouth, and you’ve said some pretty dumb shit.” 

“It’s not idiotic! He looked at me weird when I put it on and he probably regret it anyways, it’s not that big of a deal, I’ll just return it to him when we go to breakfast,” [y/n] muttered, sitting up and beginning to work on her morning routine. 

“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that,” Evie scoffed, returning to whatever she had been doing before she decided to corner [y/n]. 

“Mhm,” [y/n] replied. 

The Great Hall was already bustling with students when the two girls arrived, both of them eyeing where they’d be sitting. They settled on a spot between two second years and a few people from the upper years, plopping down in the seats. 

[y/n] couldn’t help by feel nauseous as she cradled the sweatshirt in her lap, glancing up and down the table for the boy that was most likely obliviously responsible for making her regret every advance she’d ever made on him. 

Evie looked over at her poor friend, reaching over and rubbing her back softly to try and sooth the obvious nervous knot that had tied itself in her stomach, “It’s okay. Things will work out just fine.” 

Evie had her downfalls as a friend, insisting that [y/n] be bolder and more direct with the way she carried herself day to day, but when it came down to it she loved her friends dearly and would put them above anything else. 

“Thanks,” [y/n] muttered, poking the french toast around on her plate. 

The two finished their food quickly, [y/n] not taking much time at all as she had chosen not to eat very much anyway. As they made their way out to go spend some free time before their first class of the day, the same mop of fiery red hair made its appearance. 

“Hey [y/n], Evie, how’re you on this fine morning,” Fred smiled, stopping in his tracks as his brother George and their pal Seamus continued on their way to secure spots at the table.

“Just fine thank you Fred,” Evie smiled softly, “I was actually heading to the library to study before my potions exam, so I’ll leave you and [y/n] to it,” she gave [y/n]’s shoulder one last reassuring squeeze before heading off. 

“Good morning [y/n],” Fred chirped, a nervous edge to his voice as he stared down at [y/n]. 

“Good morning Fred,” [y/n] smiled halfheartedly, rocking back and forth on her heels as she worked up the courage to confirm her supposed rejection. 

“What’cha got there,” Fred quipped, pointing to the object clutched in [y/n]’s hands behind her back, “you’re not hiding things from me now, are ya?” 

“Not at all,” [y/n] chuckled sadly, “It’s, uhm, it’s actually your hoodie,” she held it out in front of her, refusing to make direct eye contact with Fred. 

Fred’s face fell, not even trying to hide his disappointment at this sudden turn of events, “Oh,” he reached forward and took it from her. 

“I figured you’d probably want it back, and I didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, cause y’know were not, like dating, or anything. And you probably wanted it back anyway, it was stupid of me to take it in the first place,” She started to ramble, heart wrenching at the absolutely broken expression Fred was giving her right then, her mind screaming abort as she wished she could have just taken everything back right then and there. 

“I get it,” Fred muttered, his words clipped short, “Thanks for the hoodie back.” 

Without another word Fred turned on his heel and walked into the Great Hall, leaving behind a cracked [y/n] and blanket of regret. [y/n] started choking up, swiveling around and sprinting to her dormitory, her robes billowing behind her. 

What had she done?

***

The next week had passed by painfully slow. Each day felt like a stab to the gut, the blade being turned deeper and deeper into the wound. [y/n] was miserable, no matter what he friends tries, she was a lost cause, sucked into her own regret. Evie did everything in her power to get [y/n] to warm up again, but she knew it was no particular use. 

Fred had chosen to give [y/n] the silent treatment, even going as far as to avoid her in the halls, common room, quidditch field, you name it. That week had absolutely broken the two of them. [y/n]  had never been so upset over a guy before, that it was exhausting for her to even focus on anything else but the sour taste in her mouth. Fred wasn’t taking it well either, his brother having to practically drag him out of bed for quidditch practice.

This week had a rapidly approaching quidditch match, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw, and the prospects were not looking too well on Gryffindor’s side. Students had taken to relaxing a bit as they slowed down school work to let the quidditch players prep and the other students rest. 

Evie had to go to breakfast herself the morning before the quidditch math as [y/n] had opted to sleep in as she had two free periods that morning. [y/n] wanted to curl up and cry more than anything, the locket she’d lent Fred swinging beneath her shut eyelids almost taunting her. She knew prospects were looking grim for their victory, Oliver Wood would have a breakdown nearly every other day leading up to the match, and she could only wonder how Fred was taking the teams fruitless practices. 

Fred, on the other hand, spent that morning curled up in the common rooms, toying with the locket as he stared out the windows towards the field he’d be playing on later that day. He felt sick to his stomach, his good luck charm feeling less than lucky that day. More than anything, he wondered what he’d done to get her to be so repulsed by his advance, his eyes watering at the notion that she’d done nothing more than respond to him in a friendly manner that he’d just selfishly misinterpreted. 

The quidditch match had finally arrived, the team stalking out of the common room as the other students sat in lackluster enthusiasm, a few of the upper years demanding they show at least a little spirit to hype the team. It was a wasted effort, but the stand still vibrated with anticipation nonetheless. 

The match came and went and it was painful to watch to say the least. Gryffindor did so poorly it was as if you were watching a completely different team. Students left the stands that afternoon, solemn and sad, totally bummed at the outcome. 

[y/n] got caught in the current and ended up at the back of the pack as they filed out of the stands, her hands tucked in her pockets to keep them warm from the cool breeze. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck and felt a pang in her chest as she recalled just how cozy she’d felt in Fred’s hoodie. Cursing under her breath, she descended the steps, lost in her own mind, completely overlooking the quidditch team that appeared behind her. 

She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up to see a mop of red hair, but quickly calmed down when she realized it was the other twin, “Hey George,” She muttered sympathetically. 

“Hey [y/n],” He smiled weakly, obviously torn down by the loss. 

“Sorry for the loss. We’re proud of you guys either way,” She reassured him, reaching over and squeezing him in a side hug. 

He leaned into her and smiled softly, “Thank you. I appreciate the consolation. But, uh, I think Fred needs it more,” he nodded his head backwards towards the back of the group, Fred hanging his head low with his brows furrowed painfully close.

[y/n] was taken aback, but swallowed her pride nonetheless and nodded understandingly, excusing herself as she carefully pushed through the crowd, until she ended up at the back.

“Hey,” she whispered, clutching her hands in front of her. 

Fred looked up, his face wet with tears, quickly wiping them off with the back of his hand as he realized who he was talking to, “[y/n]? I thought you already went in?” 

“Nope, got caught up in the surge,” she chuckled. 

“Oh,” he muttered. 

“Yeah,” she chewed on her bottom lip, concluding on her choice of words, “can we talk?” 

Fred wanted nothing more than to say no and run away, his heart wrenching at the inevitable conversation they were going to have where she turned him down gently in that smooth voice she always used when she wanted to be empathetic, but he knew it was unavoidable, “Sure.”

The two broke off from the crowd and settled in a small study room, a hall or two away from the boys changing room where he’d deposited his broom and helmet. They sat on one of the couches that was pushed against the wall, [y/n] with her knees facing Fred who’d rigidly sat facing forward. 

“I’m sorry about the-,”  [y/n] began, only to be cut off. 

“I know you’re here to reject me and I’m sorry I if I ever made you uncomfortable with my advances, it was never my intention to make you feel bad, so you don’t have to say anything or pity me because it’s fine, I should have know from the beginning, and quite frankly-,” Fred began to ramble, all his feelings tumbling out at once, his filter failing him. 

“Woah, woah, woah! Slow down darling, that wasn’t even where I was going to start,” she backtracked, reaching forward and taking his hand in hers, “I was going to say sorry for the game. I was going to build up to that, but, what do you mean I’m here to reject you?” 

Fred finally looked up from his lap and over at her, his face starting to flame a bright red, “oh, I’m sorry.” His eyes started to well up and he exhaled deeply, trying to blink the tears back, but ultimately failing. 

“Oh, come here darling,” she cooed, pulling him to her as he cried into her shoulder, his arms wrapping around her and holding her tightly to his chest. 

They sat like that for a while, Fred dumping all his bottled up emotions into [y/n]’s shoulder while she rubbed gentle circles into his back. Her hand traced up and rubbed at the nape of his neck, fluffing up the curls that lay there. When it seemed like he’d finally gained some composure, she pulled back, sliding her hands up to cup his cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry I ignored you for so long,” He whispered, grasping her wrists ever so softly as she thumbed away the lingering tears on his cheek. 

“And I’m sorry I did too,” She muttered, frowning slightly, “I never thought your advances were uncomfortable. I relished them, actually,” she chuckled awkwardly, biting back her own tears now, “I returned the hoodie and said those shitty things because I didn’t know what to do when you looked at me like that. I thought “there was no way he likes me that much” and I convinced myself I was right.” 

She dropped her hands and started rubbing furiously at her eyes, the pent up emotions finally shoving their way out. Fred pulled her close once more, pressing her head into his chest as she cried into his shirt, his hand caressing her hair reassuringly. 

“I ignored you because I didn’t know what to do with myself,” Fred confessed as she calmed down, “I liked you so much that the thought of you not wanting anything more hurt more than anything. I couldn’t fathom how stupid I’d been, because I didn’t want to. And when you said those things it was like the final nail in the coffin, I realized I had to come to terms with your rejection.” 

“You like me?” [y/n] muttered, looking up at him, somehow in awe. 

“Have I not made that clear enough yet?” Fred chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head, “we’re hopeless. Absolutely and completely hopeless.”

She broke into laughter as he grabbed her and pulled her down onto the couch with him, a shrill giggle leaving her lips as she fell along with him, pressed to his chest.

“Evie was right, I am an idiot,” [y/n] sighed, pushing herself up so she was eye level with Fred. 

“The most idiotic, idiot I know,” Fred concurred, giggling when she gave him an offended look, “Okay maybe not the most idiotic.” 

“You’re impossible,” she huffed, glancing away from him. 

“And you’re infuriating,” Fred muttered, grabbing her chin gently and turning her to face him. 

She watched in silence as he thumbed over her lips, still wet from the tears that had fallen down her face moments ago. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“I though you’d never ask,” she breathed a sigh of relief, leaning down and connecting their lips. 

It was salty and slow, both of them moving in tandem to bandage one another’s bruised hearts. She caressed the sides of his face lovingly, curling her fingers in his mess of fiery red hair while he pressed her as close as he could, flattening his hands against the curve of her back.

They pulled apart for a moment, both smiling softly, reeling in the moment.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that,” Fred confessed, breathing a sigh of satisfaction. 

“Guess that makes two of us,” [y/n] grinned. 

“Can I kiss you again?” Fred quipped, excitement getting the best of him. 

“You don’t even have to ask,” [y/n] replied, pressing her lips to his once more. 

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby. 

Day 7: Screw This.

Warnings: Bad Language words

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N:  Day 7 of the threeway collab between myself @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and @jennmurawski13​…and Ransom is getting no better11

Series Masterlist.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Yes.”

“Ok, let me rephrase that…”you shifted your weight a little “Are you sure you can do this?”

Ransom let out an annoyed snort through his nose and turned his eyes to look up at you. “Doll, how hard can it be?”

You really didn’t want to answer that question, as to anyone else with half a logical brain, following simple instructions on how to piece together a crib wouldn’t be so hard at all. But to Ransom, the mere fact that there were instructions to follow was kinda making you a little uneasy, as he had a problem with doing anything he was told to do at the best of times. Ransom’s brow furrowed as he clocked the look on your face and he rolled his eyes.

“You have so little faith in me.”

“Can you blame me?” you spluttered “You turned all the washing pink a few weeks back, then you almost poisoned everyone, not to mention the incident with the tire jack!”

“This is different.” He said confidently as he began to remove the outer packaging of the crib.

“Is it?”

“Yes, Y/N!” he groaned with an air of exasperation “Look, I know you have zero faith in me whatsoever, but what else is new?”

“Ran…” you started to protest, and he shrugged you away very matter-of-factly.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he deftly changed the subject and you sighed recognising your dismissal. In all fairness he was right, you were due to meet your friend for lunch in half an hour so…

“Okay, I’m going.” You padded into the room, over to where he was now knelt on the floor surrounded by various tools and pieces of the crib, and dropped a kiss to his forehead “I’ll see you later. Love you.”

Ransom turned his head towards you, his lips brushing yours softly, the annoyance he had displayed seconds ago completely forgotten. “Love you too. Both of you.”

With a smile you headed out of the room and bustled about grabbing your coat, scarf and purse. You stepped outside your home and as you made your way down the gravel drive to your new car, Ransom having finally put his foot down and purchased the Mercedes he’d been eying up for you, you glanced back up at the window of the room that was to be your baby boy’s nursery and pulled out your phone.

“Hey Daddy, it’s me. I was wondering if you would do me a favour…”

*****

Ransom would never have thought in a million years that he’d be doing this. Putting together a crib for his unborn son in the nursery that the pair of you had almost completed. Kids had most certainly not been on the agenda. Mind you, neither had marriage. But Y/N…well, she’d not only done the unthinkable and tamed him away from his play-boy days, she’d completely and utterly hooked him. And he wasn’t ever going to let her get away. So he’d bought a ring, they’d bought a house together…and then one drunken night and forgotten pill later wham, he’d knocked her up.

As such here he was, in one of the spare rooms that was no longer spare as it now belonged to his unborn child. The colour was picked, paint was purchased…but he drew the line at decorating. That was something that happily you had both agreed was to be done by a professional. In an hour he’d managed to get three sides of the crib together. And they were even and matched the photograph perfectly. But this fourth side…the side that was supposed to go up and down along a set of runners was not playing ball.

“Son of a bitch…” he cursed after what felt like the one hundredth attempt at getting the little wheels to line up “You’re gonna fucking work you fucking piece of…”

“Ransom?”

He paused as the familiar voice drifted up the large stairs and he gave an exasperated sigh. Of course she’d called her dad to check in on him.

“In the nursery.” He called back, a little gruffly. Ransom would never admit this, but the fact that his father-in-law actually cared enough to make the 30 minute drive over to check on him was kind of nice. His own father would have simply sniggered and put the phone down.

But then, Richard Drysdale was an asshole. Y/N’s father was not. And he most certainly was not going to allow his boy to become one either. Well, not a complete one anyway…he had to have some attitude after all, he was a Drysdale.

“Hey Son.” Ransom looked up as Y/N’s dad walked into the room. “Y/N called me before, said you were fixing up the furniture. I thought you might need a hand.”

“She really doesn’t trust me does she?” Ransom snorted and her dad laughed.

“If it’s any consolation, her mother is exactly the same.” He soothed as Ransom straightened up “And I don’t think it’s a case of not trusting you. When me and her brother put the crib together for his kid, it was a pain in the ass to get right.”

Ransom inhaled sharply, his hands falling to his hips “Done ok so far.” He replied a little sullenly.

“Yeah, I can see.” His father-in-law nodded “I just thought I’d check. If you don’t need me, then I can go.” He held his hands up, palms facing Ransom in a conciliatory manner “I got stuff to do so.”

Ransom watched him turn to leave and followed him out of the room with his eyes. He looked at the final piece of the crib before he gave a soft groan and quickly strode after his wife’s father.

“Actually…” he spoke, watching as he paused at the top of the stairs “I can’t get the last piece to line up right.”

He stopped short of actually asking for help, but he didn’t need to. Y/Father’s/Name turned and smiled, patting him gently on the shoulder as he strode back towards the nursery. He stooped to examine the sides and then stood up, pointing.

“This screw,” he said, and Ransom looked at it,“just needs tightening. The head is jutting out a little too far. Once it’s flush to the side then the runners should line up.”

Ransom blinked and then sighed, his head hanging dejectedly “Seriously? That’s it.”

“Hey!” His father-in-law chuckled, “easy thing to miss. Come on, get it screwed in and I’ll help you lift it. Then I think we can safely say a beer is in order.” He then checked his watch “Huh, might even catch the Red-Sox if we’re lucky.”

At that Ransom perked up a little. Another thing he would never admit was that he enjoyed the way her father would simply do stuff like that with him, things his own dad had never wanted to do. Sit, drink beer, watch a game…talk.

Fuck, he was going soft.

He picked up the screw driver and knelt down, angling it slightly so he could reach and lined the head up. He gave three sharp screws to the right but on the fourth the screwdriver slipped and he felt a sharp pain in his left hand.

“Fuck!” he yelled, drawing back instantly as he glanced down and saw the blood oozing from his palm tracing a path down his wrist.

“Here, let me see…” Y/Father’s/Name stepped forward quickly, reaching for Ransom’s arm. He frowned and then looked at Ransom who had gone pale. “Looks pretty deep.”

Ransom swallowed, taking a deep breath as his head began to spin. Fuck, he hated blood.

“Ransom? Son? You okay?”

“I err, I don’t feel…” he took another deep breath and then with a thud he hit the floor.

*****

Don’t Panic.

If there was ever a phrase do make you do just that, it was those simple two words. Which your dad had uttered when he had called you to tell you there had been an accident and he was on his way to the ER with Ransom. You and your friend abandoned the basket full of baby items you’d indulgently been about to purchase after a cheeky trip to the baby boutique one down from the restaurant you’d eaten in, and you’d rushed out of the store, making your way straight to the hospital. By the time you had located Ransom’s room, your dad was stood outside chatting to a nurse.

“What happened?” you demanded and your dad turned to look at you.

“His hand slipped when he was screwing a part of the crib together.” Your dad offered an explanation. “Gave me a scare though, completely out of it he was for a good 2 minutes or so.”

With a soft sigh, you rolled your eyes and pushed the door open. Ransom looked up at you from where he was sat on the bed, his hand heavily bandaged, face pale.

“Hey!” you said, making your way to his side. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, “Just stabbed myself.”

“My dad said. What did you do that for?” you frowned.

“It wasn’t like I did it on purpose, sweetheart.” He drawled, narrowing his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. Just waiting for someone to take me down to X-Ray to make sure I’ve not damaged anything major”

You arched an eyebrow, a grin playing across your face. “Big enough of a deal to make you pass out from the pain.”

“It was nothing to do with the pain.” He mumbled sullenly. “You know I don’t like blood.”

You chuckled as you sat on the bed next to him, your hand gently pressing against his forehead. He felt a little clammy. “Yeah, you’re gonna be no use what-so-ever when I have the baby.”

“I don’t intend on being at that end.” He looked up at you, shrugging.

“No? You wanna be up there holding my hand, telling me how amazing I am?” you asked, your hand gently running up his neck.

“Maybe.” he replied, his head laying on your shoulder, seeking out comfort like the huge baby he was, his nose nuzzling into your neck.

“Gee thanks.” You replied with a scoff

“I just don’t wanna see you squeeze a baby out of your….you know.” he waved his non bandaged hand, as he moved his head to look at you, a cheeky smirk flickering across his face “I imagine it would be like watching my favourite bar burn down. Knowing that it’s completely wrecked and going to take a while before I can head back in for a drink.”

You blinked as his words registered and then slapped him harshly round the back of the head, causing him to yelp.

“Maybe instead of a fucking x-ray they can scan you for a brain.”  You glared at him. “Not that they’d find one.”

[wiypt-writes]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby. Day 7: Screw This.

 Warnings: Bad Language words

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N:  Day 7 of the threeway collab between myself @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and @jennmurawski13 …and Ransom is getting no better11

Series Masterlist. 

 “Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Yes.”

“Ok, let me rephrase that…”you shifted your weight a little “Are you sure you can do this?”

Ransom let out an annoyed snort through his nose and turned his eyes to look up at you. “Doll, how hard can it be?”

You really didn’t want to answer that question, as to anyone else with half a logical brain, following simple instructions on how to piece together a crib wouldn’t be so hard at all. But to Ransom, the mere fact that there were instructions to follow was kinda making you a little uneasy, as he had a problem with doing anything he was told to do at the best of times. Ransom’s brow furrowed as he clocked the look on your face and he rolled his eyes.

“You have so little faith in me.”

“Can you blame me?” you spluttered “You turned all the washing pink a few weeks back, then you almost poisoned everyone, not to mention the incident with the tire jack!”

“This is different.” He said confidently as he began to remove the outer packaging of the crib.

“Is it?”

“Yes, Y/N!” he groaned with an air of exasperation “Look, I know you have zero faith in me whatsoever, but what else is new?”

“Ran…” you started to protest, and he shrugged you away very matter-of-factly.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he deftly changed the subject and you sighed recognising your dismissal. In all fairness he was right, you were due to meet your friend for lunch in half an hour so…

“Okay, I’m going.” You padded into the room, over to where he was now knelt on the floor surrounded by various tools and pieces of the crib, and dropped a kiss to his forehead “I’ll see you later. Love you.” Ransom turned his head towards you, his lips brushing yours softly, the annoyance he had displayed seconds ago completely forgotten. “Love you too. Both of you.”

With a smile you headed out of the room and bustled about grabbing your coat, scarf and purse. You stepped outside your home and as you made your way down the gravel drive to your new car, Ransom having finally put his foot down and purchased the Mercedes he’d been eying of for you, you glanced back up at the window of the room that was to be your baby boy’s nursery and pulled out your phone.

“Hey Daddy, it’s me. I was wondering if you would do me a favour…”

***** Ransom would never have thought in a million years that he’d be doing this. Putting together a crib for his unborn son in the nursery that the pair of you had almost completed. Kids had most certainly not been on the agenda. Mind you, neither had marriage. But Y/N…well, she’d not only done the unthinkable and tamed him away from his play-boy days, she’d completely and utterly hooked him. And he wasn’t ever going to let her3 get away. So he’d bought a ring, they’d bought a house together…and then one drunken night and forgotten pill later wham, he’d knocked her up.

As such here he was, in one of the spare rooms that was no longer spare as it now belonged to his unborn child. The colour was picked, paint was purchased…but he drew the line at decorating. That was something that happily you had both agreed was to be done by a professional. In an hour he’d managed to get three sides of the crib together. And they were even and matched the photograph perfectly. But this fourth side…the side that was supposed to go up and down along a set of runners was not playing ball.

“Son of a bitch…” he cursed after what felt like the one hundredth attempt at getting the little wheels to line up “You’re gonna fucking work you fucking piece of…”

“Ransom?”

He paused as the familiar voice drifted up the large stairs and he gave an exasperated sigh. Of course she’d called her dad to check in on him.

“In the nursery.” He called back, a little gruffly. Ransom would never admit this, but the fact that his father-in-law actually cared enough to make the 30 minute drive over to check on him was kind of nice. His own father would have simply sniggered and put the phone down.

But then, Richard Drysdale was an asshole. Y/N’s father was not. And he most certainly was not going to allow his boy to become one either. Well, not a complete one anyway…he had to have some attitude after all, he was a Drysdale.

“Hey Son.” Ransom looked up as Y/N’s dad walked into the room. “Y/N called me before, said you were fixing up the furniture. I thought you might need a hand.”

“She really doesn’t trust me does she?” Ransom snorted and her dad laughed.

“If it’s any consolation, her mother is exactly the same.” He soothed as Ransom straightened up “And I don’t think it’s a case of not trusting you. When me and her brother put the crib together for his kid, it was a pain in the ass to get right.”

Ransom inhaled sharply, his hands falling to his hips “Done ok so far.” He replied a little sullenly.

“Yeah, I can see.” His father-in-law nodded “I just thought I’d check. If you don’t need me, then I can go.” He held his hands up, palms facing Ransom in a conciliatory manner “I got stuff to do so.”

Ransom watched him turn to leave and followed him out of the room with his eyes. He looked at the final piece of the crib before he gave a soft groan and quickly strode after his wife’s father.

“Actually…” he spoke, watching as he paused at the top of the stairs “I can’t get the last piece to line up right.”

He stopped short of actually asking for help, but he didn’t need to. Y/Father’s/Name turned and smiled, patting him gently on the shoulder as he strode back towards the nursery. He stooped to examine the sides and then stood up, pointing.

“This screw,” he said, and Ransom looked at it,“just needs tightening. The head is jutting out a little too far. Once it’s flush to the side then the runners should line up.”

Ransom blinked and then sighed, his head hanging dejectedly “Seriously? That’s it.”

“Hey!” His father-in-law chuckled, “easy thing to miss. Come on, get it screwed in and I’ll help you lift it. Then I think we can safely say a beer is in order.” He then checked his watch “Huh, might even catch the Red-Sox if we’re lucky.”

At that Ransom perked up a little. Another thing he would never admit was that he enjoyed the way her father would simply do stuff like that with him, things his own dad had never wanted to do. Sit, drink beer, watch a game…talk.

Fuck, he was going soft.

He picked up the screw driver and knelt down, angling it slightly so he could reach and lined the head up. He gave three sharp screws to the right but on the fourth the screwdriver slipped and he felt a sharp pain in his left hand.

“Fuck!” he yelled, drawing back instantly as he glanced down and saw the blood oozing from his palm tracing a path down his wrist.

“Here, let me see…” Y/Father’s/Name stepped forward quickly, reaching for Ransom’s arm. He frowned and then looked at Ransom who had gone pale. “Looks pretty deep.”

Ransom swallowed, taking a deep breath as his head began to spin. Fuck, he hated blood.

“Ransom? Son? You okay?”

“I err, I don’t feel…” he took another deep breath and then with a thud he hit the floor.

*****

Don’t Panic.

If there was ever a phrase do make you do just that, it was those simple two words. Which your dad had uttered when he had called you to tell you there had been an accident and he was on his way to the ER with Ransom. You and your friend abandoned the basket full of baby items you’d indulgently been about to purchase after a cheeky trip to the baby boutique one down from the restaurant you’d eaten in, and you’d rushed out of the store, making your way straight to the hospital. By the time you had located Ransom’s room, your dad was stood outside chatting to a nurse.

“What happened?” you demanded and your dad turned to look at you.

“His hand slipped when he was screwing a part of the crib together.” Your dad offered an explanation. “Gave me a scare though, completely out of it he was for a good 2 minutes or so.”

With a soft sigh, you rolled your eyes and pushed the door open. Ransom looked up at you from where he was sat on the bed, his hand heavily bandaged, face pale.

“Hey!” you said, making your way to his side. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, “Just stabbed myself.”

“My dad said. What did you do that for?” you frowned.

“It wasn’t like I did it on purpose, sweetheart.” He drawled, narrowing his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. Just waiting for someone to take me down to X-Ray to make sure I’ve not damaged anything major”

You arched an eyebrow, a grin playing across your face. “Big enough of a deal to make you pass out from the pain.”

“It was nothing to do with the pain.” He mumbled sullenly. “You know I don’t like blood.”

You chuckled as you sat on the bed next to him, your hand gently pressing against his forehead. He felt a little clammy. “Yeah, you’re gonna be no use what-so-ever when I have the baby.”

“I don’t intend on being at that end.” He looked up at you, shrugging.

“No? You wanna be up there holding my hand, telling me how amazing I am?” you asked, your hand gently running up his neck.

“Maybe.” he replied, his head laying on your shoulder, seeking out comfort like the huge baby he was, his nose nuzzling into your neck.

“Gee thanks.” You replied with a scoff

“I just don’t wanna see you squeeze a baby out of your….you know.” he waved his non bandaged hand, as he moved his head to look at you, a cheeky smirk flickering across his face “I imagine it would be like watching my favourite bar burn down. Knowing that it’s completely wrecked and going to take a while before I can head back in for a drink.”

You blinked as his words registered and then slapped him harshly round the back of the head, causing him to yelp.

“Maybe instead of a fucking x-ray they can scan you for a brain.”  You glared at him. “Not that they’d find one.”

[arcturusreads]

Christmas Whiskey Part Two - Merhayes

@merxmac asked for a part two to this fanfic so I hope this doesn't disappoint. Also, if y'all have prompts please send them my way, my dissertation is killing me and I'd love a distraction

Cormac wasn’t surprised when he got home on Christmas Eve to find his boys still awake playing video games and Irene in the kitchen prepping the turkey. He’d managed to draw the boys’ attention from their game long enough to propose the idea of dropping in on Meredith and her family during their walk.

He wasn’t at all surprised at Irene’s eagerness to the suggestion. His sister-in-law had been wanting to meet Meredith since her own visit to the hospital. Once she’d found out that the General Surgeon was out of her coma and back on her feet, she’d kept asking Cormac when they could meet. So far, he had managed to put her off by saying that Meredith was still recovering and that everyone’s schedules at the hospital were still crazy as they came out of the peak of the pandemic. What Cormac had been surprised at was how easily the boys agreed to it, Austin even saying that he was looking forward to it.

***

Christmas morning had passed. By the times the boys had woken up, it was more like afternoon. They’d opened presents, lit a candle for Abigail and the boys messed around with their presents, which included a new set of goalposts in the garden that were a bit studier than the ones that Cormac had put-up when they had first moved there, and a drone. Cormac and Irene spent most of their time in the kitchen sorting out Christmas dinner. Afterwards, they’d all sprawled out around the living room, half comatose, wondering why they decided that a second helping was a good idea.

It was 5pm by the time the four of them had managed to haul themselves out of their seats and change out of their pyjamas. As he shrugged on his jacket, Cormac couldn’t help but feel slightly jittery at the thought of seeing Meredith today. He had texted her that morning to wish her a merry Christmas and ask if they should bring anything over to hers. She’d said that there was no need, they had enough food to last them until the end of January but said she was looking forward to seeing him.

“Mac, you ready?” Irene nudged him with her elbow. “What are you smiling about?” She teased.

Cormac hadn’t even realised that he had been smiling in the first place and quickly replaced his expression with a more neutral one.

“Probably thinking about Dr Grey again,” Liam joined in on the teasing as Austin made kissy faces behind his brother.

“You know it’s not too late for me to take those drones back.” Cormac threw an arm over each of his sons’ shoulders and began walking towards the door.

***

There was a large park that happened to be smack in the middle of the route between Cormac Meredith’s houses. After taking a long walk around it and having a kick about with the football the boys had bought with them. They began to make their way to Meredith’s.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t have brought anything with us?” Irene asked him for the 20th time as Meredith’s home came into view.

“We’re bringing Da, I’m sure that will be more than enough.”

Cormac groaned, a red flush crawling up his neck. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face his family. “Can I trust you all to behave when we go in there?” He was praying that they wouldn’t make any comments in front of Meredith, or he would be mortified.

“I’ll have you know that me and my nephews are the best-behaved people you know.” The smirk on their three faces told him otherwise and he shook his head and he began walking again.

“Heathens, the lot of you. Don’t know why I put up with it.”

He was responded to with snickers and rolled his eyes. As the Hayes family walked up to Meredith’s door, Cormac cursed at the butterflies in his stomach. Damnit, he was a grown man with two teenagers. He should be past this stage of feeling nervous about seeing a woman. It wasn’t like this was a date. She’d invited him over as a friend, their kids were going to be there.

Cormac continued trying to convince himself of this as he knocked the door. It didn’t work though because the moment Meredith opened the door to his family an entire zoo erupted in his stomach. She wasn’t dressed up to the nines, in matching white loungewear and hair half pulled up but it was the flush on her cheeks that caused a wave of feeling to wash over Cormac. The grin on her face, the glint in her eyes and the ease of her shoulders. She was radiant.

“Hey, sorry it took a while to get to the door. We’re used to people just walking in and out. Come in!” She ushered, Cormac, his boys and Irene into her home.

Before Cormac was able to say anything, Irene stepped forward with a grin on her face. “Meredith, I have to say it’s nice to finally meet the woman behind the name. I’m Irene, Mac’s sister-in-law.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Irene. Sorry we couldn’t meet sooner.”

Irene waved off the apology, “I hear you were a bit tied up, so no worries. Thank you so much for inviting us to your home.”

“I have an open-door policy at this house, you guys are always free to drop in if you need anything. Most people do. Austin, Liam, feel free to hang your coats up. You guys have a good Christmas?””

Mer turned to the boys who were slightly surprised that she had managed to identify them both correctly. They’d only met two or three times and they hadn’t even expected the surgeon to have paid much attention to them.

The boys nodded and launched into how their Christmas had gone so far. Cormac couldn’t believe with how much ease and comfort the boys spoke to Meredith. Sometimes he found it hard to get two words out of them when he got home from work.

Meredith began to herd the four of them into the living room where everyone else was lounging around. Cormac realised he hadn’t actually said anything to Meredith since he had gotten there, he reached out and gently grabbed her arm, pulling her back towards him.

“Hey?” Meredith looked at him, slightly confused.

Cormac quickly let go of her arm, “Uh, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Just wanted to say Merry Christmas.”

“The same thing you text me this morning?” Meredith teased, arching a brow. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hayes” She grinned at him, seeing him slightly bashful was a new thing. Cormac was usually a lot surer of himself.

“Come on, let’s head in.”

Meredith found that there was no need to make any introductions to the kids. Austin and Liam and sat on the floor with them, which was covered with blankets and cushions. Liam had started to chat with Zola and Bailey whilst Austin was taking a keen interest as Ellis showed him what she had gotten for Christmas.

As Cormac said hello to the other surgeons in the room, Meredith headed into the kitchen and began to heat the milk to make the hot chocolate. Whilst she was never going to be the next MasterChef, hot chocolate was one thing that she could manage.

Stirring the pan of milk, Meredith looked out onto the living room. Seeing the way both Cormac and Irene had settled into conversation with everyone else. Seeing both her and Cormac’s kids getting along so easily. A feeling passed over her that she had not felt in a very long time. Not since Derek had been alive.

She’d always felt at home here, a sense of belonging but now there was a feeling of completion within her. There was nothing missing, her heart didn’t feel as though it was yearning for anything. It was like something had just clicked into place.

“Can I help you out?”

Meredith had even seen Irene approach her, “You’re our guest! Go and relax.”

“You wouldn’t let us bring anything, the least I can do is help you with the hot chocolate. Where can I find the mugs?”

Knowing that Irene wasn’t going to take no for an answer, Meredith directed her towards mugs. “They’re in the cupboard to the left of the sink.”

“You know, I haven’t seen Mac like this since before my sister died,” Irene placed all the mugs on the counter next to the stove and began to spoon the cocoa powder in there. “When he first moved back to the states, I was excited to have him and the boys here but he wasn’t himself. Not that I was expecting him to be after everything he’s been through.”

Irene sighed, placed the spoon on the counter and turned to face Meredith. “Ever since he told me that you were awake again and leaving the hospital, there’s more light in his eyes. He’s more playful, like he was before. His tread isn’t so heavy anymore.”

“I, uh,” Meredith wasn’t quite sure what to say. She knew that things had changed between her and Cormac, but she didn’t think that any of the changes that Irene had mentioned were down to her. “I mean, work has gotten a lot more manageable lately with the Covid numbers going down so that’s probably helping.”

Chuckling, Irene began to stir the hot chocolate and Meredith poured milk into the mugs. “We both know that isn’t true. My brother-in-law has started to fall hard for you, Meredith. I just don’t want to see him hurt if you don’t feel the same way but from the way you’ve been looking at him, I’m going to guess that you do.”

With that she picked up two mugs and walked into the living room with them. Meredith stood, mouth agape as she watched Irene walk away. Her own sisters had only danced around the topic about Cormac and her, teasing her and making the odd comment when they were seen together. They definitely had not been as forthright as Irene had just been with her.

“Momma! Hot cocoa time!” Ellis’ voiced pulled Meredith out of her thoughts as she took as many mugs as she could carry into the living room.

Eventually there were only two mugs left and as Meredith made her last trip from the kitchen, there was only one person, other than herself left without a mug.

“Hot chocolate?” Meredith offered the mug to Cormac who took it gratefully, their finger brushing against each other.

“Thanks, Grey.”

Looking around for a place to sit, Meredith found that the only place left was next to Cormac on the two-seater.

“Do you mind?” She asked, motioning to the seat next to him with her head.

“That you sit on your sofa in your house?” The glint in his eye made simultaneously made Meredith’s stomach flip and made her want to punch him

“I don’t know why I bothered asking…” Meredith muttered under her breath, but Cormac managed to hear and laughed.

From the other side of the room, Irene kept an eye on them the entire night. Now 100% sure that Meredith Grey did feel the same way about Cormac and come hell or high water, she was going to make sure that they both did something about it.

[eyeofthedrgn]

A Heavy Battle Symphony - Chapter 4

New chapter! This chapter is slightly fluffy, still angsty, but much less than previous chapters.

Catch up here: Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

TW: language, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (only alluded to briefly in future chapters), just a lot of trauma, angst, smut - lots of lovely gay smut

Word count: 1685

Chapter 4 - Forgotten

A little piece of paper with a picture drawn

Floats on down the street 'til the wind is gone

And the memory now is like the picture was then

When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again

It was Monday, and he was healed enough that Maeve let him go to school. After a normal morning routine, Lorcan made sure he wore a hoodie that would do a decent job covering his neck. Hood up, hands in his hoodie pocket, head down, he headed to school.

He missed a lot of schoolwork. It was going to be a late night. Luckily, most of the teachers gave him until the end of the week to turn it in.

When P.E. came around, he went straight to the gym rather than the locker room. He found his teacher and handed him his doctor's note. Mr. Brullo sent Lorcan to the library to study. Lorcan was happy about that. He was able to catch up on some of his homework.

Lorcan's handwriting, luckily, wasn't hindered by his cast. Perrington at least broke his right arm, his non-dominant arm. That he was thankful for, if he could be thankful for anything that happened to him.

He was getting a headache from his pre-calc homework. Lorcan rubbed his face with his hand and sighed.

"Lorcan?"

Lorcan grunted and slowly turned to see Elide, who looked relieved to see him. That was interesting. "Oh, uh, hi."

"Aren't you supposed to be in gym?" Lorcan lifted his casted arm. Elide's eyes widened and her lips parted. "Oh." She swallowed. Fuck, here comes the pity. "How-" she closed her mouth. "How'd that happen? We thought you were sick." Why were they concerned?

He told the same story Maeve told the doctor. Something about getting in a fight and falling down stairs, and "you should see the other guy". She didn't seem to believe him, neither did the doctor.

"Can I sit with you?" Lorcan shrugged. She sat down and then proceeded to talk to him about what he missed in creative writing. He didn't realize her voice was so soothing.

"Has anyone signed your cast yet?" She was eyeing the black cast. "I have a silver Sharpie!" She pulled it out of her bag and held it up with a smile.

Lorcan huffed a small laugh. Not being able to say no to that smile, knowing he was going to get in trouble, well, what could really do to him anyway? So, Lorcan carefully pushed up his hoodie sleeve. She smiled brightly at him. He propped his head up on his hand, eyes closed and listened to her hum as she put ink to the black cast.

++++

It was hard to keep from asking Lorcan questions. Elide saw the handprint bruise on his neck, the exhaustion lining his body, and of course, the full arm cast. She thought about how his injuries were formed. Obviously, someone put their hands on him, but who?

She didn't know who he lived with besides his aunt. It was doubtful that a woman had done this sort of damage, but one never knows for sure.

As she put pen to plaster, she kept looking up at his face between strokes of ink. He had drifted off to sleep. His face was slack, a slight snore every time he breathed out. Lorcan looked so innocent like that and dare she say, gorgeous.

Having finished her artwork, she just watched him until the bell rang. She gently brushed a lock of hair off his forehead, delicately tucking it behind his ear. He didn't stir.

Elide wished there was something she could do to get him away from his more than shitty situation. Calling the police was probably out of the question, but that was really the only thing she could think of.

The bell rang.

---

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he felt his textbook being pulled from under his elbow. "Oh, shit. Sorry," Lorcan furrowed his brow as he started cleaning up his stuff.

"You looked tired, I didn't want to wake you, but it is lunch time." Elide smiled, "and you have to look at your cast!" She seemed so excited about it.

Expecting some nonsense, he was pleasantly surprised to find a nice line drawing from his elbow to his wrist. It was a row of detailed trees with her name under it. Lorcan looked at it with awe. He looked back at Elide, "You did that?" Obviously, she did that. Don't be stupid, Lorcan, he thought to himself.

She giggled. He thought her laugh was adorable. "Obviously." Lorcan's cheeks flushed while he finished packing up before they walked together to lunch in a comfortable silence.

---

He followed Elide through the lunch line, the lunch lady gave him an extra serving. He was probably looking a little gaunt these days having barely eaten for the past week. Lorcan started towards the empty table in the corner.

Apparently, Elide wasn't having any of that as she pulled him to the group table before he could go be alone. Everyone seemed excited to see him. His name was shouted amongst several other greetings. Lorcan felt a tug in his chest as he looked around at the friendly faces. Why were they always trying to be nice to him? And then his eyes fell on the silver haired boy, he instantly forgot what he was thinking. He stared at the green eyed beauty a fraction longer than he should have as he sat down.

Elide introduced everyone. Aelin, Lysandra, Manon, Dorian, Chaol, Fenrys, Connall, Rowan - the silver haired boy - and then Vaughn, who was the last one to join the table.

He was sitting between Elide and Fenrys. Lorcan kept his head down while he ate, feeling very out of place. Everyone was chatting around him, over him, leaning around him. It was a lot. He wished he was alone at the table in the corner.

Rowan spoke up, "Can I sign your cast?" Lorcan jerked his head up. The sleeve of Lorcan's hoodie was still pushed up, he had forgotten to pull it back down which was unusual, but under the current circumstances, it made sense.

Lorcan's heart sped and he suddenly felt warmth spread up his neck. It drove him crazy how much his body reacted of its own accord around Rowan. He wished it would stop.

There was no reason to deny him when the punishment was coming now anyway since Elide's Sharpie touched the cast in the library, so he just shrugged and moved his arm towards the center of the table, towards Rowan.

"Elide, can I borrow your Sharpie?" She handed it over with a nod and went back to animatedly talking to the other girls about something.

Lorcan was careful not to press into the edge of the table, as he adjusted his arm. "I don't think mine will be as pretty as Elide's. Sorry in advance." Lorcan just shrugged a shoulder. He watched Rowan do his little doodle.

Then Rowan grabbed Lorcan's hand to carefully twist his arm to get to a different part of the cast easier causing electricity to shoot through his skin. His breath hitched. The soft fingers lingering on his skin, he never wanted the other boy's hand to move. Lorcan's eyes darted to Rowan's face to see if he noticed anything weird. All he saw was intense concentration, the way his tongue stuck out just a tad and his brows stitched together. Suddenly he was too warm, chest tight, heart pounding. Hellas below.

"There!" Rowan smiled at his silly nonsensical line doodle signed with his name. "All done." That smile did weird things to his stomach and the absence of those warm fingers made all the heat he had just been feeling disappear. A shiver ran down his spine.

Rowan capped the Sharpie and went to hand it back to Elide when Fenrys grabbed it.

"Can I?"

"Yeah." He was screwed anyway.

By the end of lunch, his cast was covered in names and doodles by his... Friends? They couldn't be friends, could they?

As he walked to his next class, he started panicking. His chest tightening for a whole other reason than being in close proximity to a certain boy. A tightness that was only reminiscent of growing anxiety. He shouldn't have let anyone sign it. What was he thinking?

Fuck.

++++

"Lorcan," Rowan breathed as he saw the dark haired boy basically being dragged by Elide to their table. Everyone perked up at that and welcomed him back.

Rowan saw his pained expression. Then, he saw the cast and the light purples, greens, and yellows on his neck that Lorcan was obviously trying to hide with the hood of his hoodie. It looked like a handprint. A fucking handprint. His gut roiled at the thought.

But then Lorcan looked at him, and oh boy, those eyes were going to be the end of him. They were an amazing onyx, almost like pools of night. His cheeks heated and he hoped no one noticed.

He finally got the courage to ask to sign his cast. And when Lorcan leaned over to get his arm closer to Rowan, he noted the stiffness and slight discomfort that flitted over his face. There was so much damage to Lorcan's body that they couldn't see. It made him unbearably sad thinking about it.

For the rest of lunch, while everyone signed Lorcan's cast, Rowan just sat there silently, observing the beautiful dark haired boy. He'd catch his eye every now and then give him a small smile, which was never returned. His eyes just quickly flitted away. Lorcan, he learned was very hard to read.

Rowan wished they could hang out, just the two of them. He wanted to get to know him and help him. And know what those lips felt like, tasted like. How it would feel to thread his fingers through his long dark hair that was usually in a messy bun. Or just to hold his hand. Fuck, he had it bad.

____

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you would like to be tagged.

@thenerdandfandoms @starlightorstarfire

[nightshade-minho]

-Blue Book- (4)

Warnings:

Word Count: 2.6k

The next morning, Chan made sure to come to school early, since he wanted to talk to you. He found you leaning against your locker, and quickly made his way over to you.

"Hey~" 

You looked up, a wide smile growing on your face as you removed your earphones.

"Chan! You don't usually come to school this early..."

"Uh yeah, I know. I kinda wanted to talk to you without my friends breathing down my neck."

"Hm, makes sense."

Chan let out a sigh, leaning back against the lockers. "My friends are kind of possessive...I wanna spend more time with you, but then at the same time I don't want to ignore them and hurt their feelings."

You raised an eyebrow. "Oka-"

"Which is why I want to introduce you to them. We can hang out together..."

"Oh, um. Your friends..." You sighed uncomfortably, clutching your book harder. "...I don't think they like me very much..." 

That was an understatement. Minho's insults, Hyunjin's teasing remarks, Seungmin's glares whenever you answered a question right...it was clear that Chan's friends weren't fans of you.

"It's fine. They'll be fine once they meet you."

Chan came closer slowly, almost caging you against the locker as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling. "I like you a lot...so I'm sure they will, too." 

Leaning in a little closer, he mumbled in your ear. "And if they don't...well, they can suck it. All I know is, you're my girl now and I'm not letting you sit alone at lunch."

"W-wait..." you looked up, blushing. "I'm your...what?"

He chuckled, pulling away from you and winking as he walked away. 

"See you at lunch!" He called.

***

You stood there with your tray, nervously looking over at Chan's table. Just a few steps more...

Your heart was beating fast as you told yourself to suck it up. Inhaling deeply, you made your way to the table, trying to smile.

Chan looked up as he saw you approach, grinning as he raised his hand and waved. 

"Y/n! Come over here~" He patted the empty seat next to him.

You sat there, nervously avoiding eye contact with everyone at the table. A second later, you felt Chan wrap an arm around you, pulling you close.

Minho tilted his head in amusement at the gesture, exchanging glances with Seungmin.

"Guys, you know Y/n..." Chan introduced, looking around the table.

"Hm, how could we not? She's always yapping away in class." Seungmin said, leaning back in his chair. "Damn, the rest of us can't even get a word in." 

You knew this would happen. Why had you agreed to this?

"Look, I'm alright sitting at my old tab-"

"No." Chan turned to Seungmin, harshly glaring. "Shut up."

There was an awkward silence as Hyunjin rolled his eyes, going back to texting on his phone. 

"So...Y/n, why don't you tell us about yourself?" Felix asked slowly, trying to break the ice a little.

You pondered for a while, wondering what to say. "Um, well...I moved here with my mom. I like drawing..."

"Hmm, yeah. In that little book of yours, right?" Changbin mentioned.

"How- um, yeah...I mean-" You tripped over your words as Chan widened his eyes, shooting him a death glare. He was going to kill them.

"Um, do you have any hobbies?" Jeongin spoke up quickly, trying to divert your attention.

"This is kind of starting to feel like a job interview." You giggled, sitting up a little. "Well it's drawing and journalling, as I mentioned before. I also quite enjoy studying."

"Trust me. We know." Minho snapped, leaning back in his chair. "God, I'm bored. Who let this bitch sit here, anyway? Are you trying to turn us all into social pariahs, Chan?"

You couldn't sit there and just take it anymore. You stood up, chair screeching against the floor as you stormed across the cafeteria, leaving out the back door of the school. Leaning against the wall, you tried not to cry. 

They were just a few insults, right? It wasn't full on bullying, per se...but it still hurt. So much. 

Deep down, you were a little thankful. This had served as a wake-up call...you simply didn't belong in Chan's world.

***

Chan couldn't control his anger. As soon as you left, he groaned, glaring at Minho who was chuckling to himself.

"Honestly? I expected you to try and sabotage this, especially since it's your bet." He turned to Seungmin. "But you. I never expected it from you. You're supposed to be the mature one. Now how the fuck am I going to get her to trust me?" He snapped, running a hand through his hair.

"Maybe...maybe you should go check on her..." Felix suggested. 

"Yeah that's what I was going to do, anyway." Chan rolled his eyes, standing up and following you.

***

"Psst."

You looked up, wiping your teary eyes.

"Listen...don't take what they say to heart. It takes time for them to warm up to people."

"I don't- I just can't do this." You said softly. "I'm sorry."

"But...you can! I...I like you. Please don't leave me."

You frowned at the ground, not knowing what to say. "Look, Chan...I like you too. Maybe more than I should, but-"

"So stay! Please. If you like me, then it shouldn't matter what my friends think."

"I guess..."

"Please. I need you to come to that carnival with me. If you spend just a little more time with them, I promise they'll like you."

You sighed. You did want to go to the carnival...and you definitely didn't want to go alone. 

"Okay." You mumbled.

"Good girl." He said softly, tilting your chin up to face him. "I'll pick you up at 5. How's that sound?"

"Yeah, alright."

"We're gonna have so much fun, you and I."

***

You looked in the mirror, wondering if you looked good. You hadn't worn a dress in months, and were surprised that your old dress from 6th grade still fit you.

It was a cute dress, navy blue with tea-cup sleeves. Combined with your usual saddlebag, the outfit looked more put-together than anything you'd worn in years...you hoped Chan would like it.

Exiting your room, you went downstairs to try and find your mom, so you could ask her for some pocket money to use at the carnival. When you found her, she was passed out on the couch, a bottle of beer on her stomach, her hair sticking out in every direction. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. 

Honk honk.

You perked up when you heard Chan in his car, deciding to pull the blanket over your Mom further before leaving out the front door, carefully locking it.

As you walked towards the car, you felt your heart sink as you realized he wasn't alone. 

In the passenger seat was Minho, one of Chan's friends...probably the one who hated you the most out of all of them. You carefully ignored him as you smiled at Chan, who grinned right back.

"You look so pretty." He really did think so. It wasn't the dress, or the way you did your hair, though that was nice as well. It was the huge smile on your face, radiant with happiness as you got into the backseat, greeting him.

"Thank you! You look good too...like always."

Chan's cheeks turned a light shade of pink as he took in the compliment.

"I'm so excited...I've never been to a carnival before." You said, smiling.

It was almost contagious, your enthusiasm. Chan chuckled as he started the car, Minho glancing over and frowning at the way he was smiling softly to himself. Huh...

"Well, I can guarantee you'll have fun. There's so much stuff to do." 

The rest of the ride, you chatted with Chan as Minho looked out the window, grumbling to himself as he ignored everything around him.

"Fucking finally, we're almost there." Minho noted, snapping. "If I have to spend one more fucking second in this car with her, I'll combust."

You inhaled, the anger building up in you. Just who did this guy think he is?

"I have a name, you know."

"Like I give a fuck." Minho chuckled, pushing the door open before Chan could even park the car properly. 

Chan watched as Minho left, walking towards Jisung, Changbin and Hyunjin who were standing near the entrance.

Wait...there was a fourth person.

Chan gulped as he realized it was Miyoung. His Miyoung. His heart started beating impossibly faster as he looked away, turning to you.

"About Minho...I'm sorry. He can be a little cold..."

"A little?" You scoffed. "Right. Well, whatever. I don't care as much as I did before."

You opened the car door, getting out and dusting off your skirt as you tried to put a smile back on your face.

"Come on, I want to go get some cotton candy~"

Chan smiled, tucking his car keys in his pocket as he joined you. He watched as Minho reached the small group, going in for a hug with Miyoung. A wave of jealousy crashed through him, and he looked away, trying to focus on you.

"The last time I had cotton candy, I was like 5..."

He slowly decided to take your hand in his as you continued talking. When your brain finally registered the warmth of his hand holding yours, you looked up in slight shock, forgetting what you'd been talking about.

"Is this okay?" He asked, squeezing gently. You nodded after a second, cheeks burning as you looked down at your intertwined hands. 

***

Changbin watched as the two of you approached, his eyes noting your hands with a frown.

He nudged Jisung lightly. "Wow, Chan's really intent on making her think he likes her."

"Uh huh. The dude's got dedication, for sure." Jisung nodded, as his eyes travelled from the two of you to Minho who had noticed as well.

Frowning, Minho quickly took Miyoung's hand in his as well, not wanting to be one-upped. The girl blushed a little, staring ardently at the boy whose glare was aimed right at Chan.

"Am I the only one who finds this kind of funny?" Changbin asked, laughing as he observed.

"Nope. This whole thing was a joke from the beginning, anyway." Hyunjin shrugged, looking up from his phone. "Also Felix, Seung and Jeongin said they'll be here in a few minutes, guys. They told us to go ahead."

Chan greeted his friends, his eyes glancing at Miyoung from time to time. However, the girl paid absolutely no attention to him, her enamoured gaze focused on Minho, who was engaged in a conversation with Hyunjin.

He felt frustration bubble up in him. Why wasn't she interested in him? 

You cleared your throat, making Chan look at you. "I believe I was promised some cotton candy..."

Chan smiled. "Yes I did, baby. And you'll get it, but first, let me win you a plushie." He said, glancing at Minho and Miyoung who had already separated from the guys, heading towards a game booth.

"Oh...sure!" You nodded in excitement. He pulled you along, walking faster as he reached the booth, standing next to Minho.

"Ah, Chan. Wanna compete?"

"You always know I'm down for a good ol’ competition."

You stepped back, and so did Miyoung. Looking over at her, you decided to smile. She hesitated a bit before smiling back, sidling closer tentatively.

"Isn't it hot, them competing to impress us?" She giggled, clapping her hands in delight as Minho scored, making Chan grumble. "He's soo macho..." 

You sighed inwardly. "Yeah...I guess." You watched, bemused as Minho landed another goal, Chan letting out a string of curse words. 

"Oh...don't worry, your boyfriend is nice too! Chan, isn't it?"

"Mmhmm."

"He's cute. He just isn't my type, you know? But it's okay if you like jocks." She smiled giddily as Minho turned to wink at her, before he went back to trying to score. "I prefer the sexy, mysterious type."

You were trying really hard not to roll your eyes, now. Nothing about Minho was a mystery- he was just another high school bully with hidden insecurities which he hid behind smirks and winks. 

As Minho scored the third goal, Miyoung cheered happily and went towards him as he wrapped his hand around her waist, grinning at Chan. 

You patted his back, Chan's glare softening as he turned to look at you. 

"It's okay. You'll win next time." 

Chan felt humiliation rise in him as he nodded at your words, still staring at Miyoung, who decided to press a kiss to Minho's cheek. Chan boiled with anger, shrugging your hand off him.

"Darn right I will. Hey, Minho? You and me, but at the ring toss. I'm better at that game."

Minho looked up, rolling his eyes and smirking. "You're such a bitter loser. But sure, you're on."

***

An hour and a half later, Minho and Chan were nowhere near done. You sat on the chair with Miyoung, bored out of your mind as you watched them go for another round at the ring toss, again.

Fine, whatever. If Chan wasn't going to get you cotton candy, you'll just get it yourself. You smiled at Miyoung and asked her if she wanted some too, an offer which she politely refused. 

You walked to the confectionery booth, which was fairly close. However, just as you reached, you realized you didn’t actually have any money.

As you turned to leave, you came face to face with a boy, almost bumping into him.

He was one of Chan's friends. Felix, you think his name was. Your eyes widened as you apologized. 

"Sorry, I didn't see you there-"

"No, no it's okay!" He smiled at you, and you noted how warm and genuine it was. Hmm, maybe not all of Chan's friends are bad. 

"I was just going to get ice-cream for me and the guys. Did you want some too?" He asked slowly as he approached the booth, still looking at you. 

"Um yeah, but then I forgot to bring my money, so-"

"Oh, that's completely fine! It’s my treat.."

"But-" 

"No buts." Felix grinned. "What flavor do you want?"

You giggled as you moved closer to stand next to him, peeking at the flavors. "I'm partial to the cookie dough, but strawberry does hit the spot sometimes."

He chuckled as he fished out the money, handing it over to the booth runner. "One chocolate and a half strawberry, half cookie dough scoop, please."

You smiled as the person behind the counter handed Felix the cups of ice cream. 

"Here you go~" he gave you yours, smiling as you took a small bite. "How's the combination? Do you like it?"

"Oh, it's actually really good! Wanna try?" You asked, raising the spoon to his face. He chuckled, nodding. "Of course."

Meanwhile, Chan finally scored another goal, making him the winner of the last round. Miyoung cooed at Minho, her hands on his chest as she nuzzled into him. "It's okayyy~ You won the most games anyway."

Chan looked around, wondering if you'd seen the way he'd scored the last goal. For some reason, the way Miyoung was cuddling up to Minho at the moment wasn't bothering him all that much, as he noticed you were missing.

His eyes searched his surroundings, frowning as he couldn't see you anywhere. Just as he was about to ask Miyoung, his eyes finally caught sight of you.

You were standing there, feeding Felix with a spoonful of ice-cream. The latter chuckled as he spilled some, smiling as you used a tissue to wipe it off his chin.

An uncomfortable emotion rose up in him, so sudden and out of the blue that he nearly grunted. It was an emotion he'd felt a lot of times before...but never caused by you.

Chan's eyes darted from Minho and Miyoung to you and Felix, throat going dry. 

It was jealousy, mixed with confusion. He stood rooted to the spot, his heart thrumming loudly as he tried to make sense of his emotions. Why did he feel like this?

[hateswifi]

I Only Have Eyes for You

A quick Daminette blind!Mari Au with a twist at the end. I hope you enjoy! Go check out my other stories after you finish reading.

------------------------------------------

"I'm so sorry," Marinette said, brushing herself off as she stood up.

"Watch where you are going next time!" a  deep voice angrily exclaimed before she heard his footsteps rush off in front of her.

"Marinette! That was so rude why would you draw attention to yourself like that!" Alya exclaimed.

"Well I'm sorry that you all didn't want me to draw attention to my cane, none of you warned me!" Marinette said back. (Ok quick explanation, needed a reason why Marinette didn't have her cane out.)

"Whatever, pay more attention next time," Alya muttered.

"How would you like me to do that?" Marinette asked, leaning to one side.

"I had a friend who overcame her blindness, they did a transplant on her eyes," Lila spoke up, 'attempting' to break the tension.

"Ya because that sounds realistic," Marinette mummers to herself.

"Because it's not realistic," Chloe said, rejoining the group, she had gone to grab Marinette's cane from the bus.

"You've just never heard of it, the doctors probably never told your parents so you wouldn't get your hopes up. I mean you're not too rich," Lila pointed out.

"Girls calm down, it's time to begin our tour," Ms. Bustier said, walking back from the front desk.

"Hello, Francis DuPont, welcome to Wayne Enterprises. I'm your tour guide, Richard," The tour guide greets. *Insert Lila lying and normal field trip shenanigans here (if requested will write later) * "I hope to see you all at the celebratory gala at the end of the week, please enjoy your stay here in Gotham."

She was tired of her class, she convinced Chloe to take her to the nearest park so she could hear the sounds to hopefully inspire her in her next song. She has been practicing with the help of Uncle Jagged with writing, well someone writing down, songs and singing them. Uncle Jagged thinks she has potential.

Chloe had left Marinette for a couple of minutes to grab ice-cream, they both deserve it after putting up with Lila and her sheep. She hears footsteps approaching her that sounding similar to Chloe's when she wears shoes, not high heels like today, (she's not very used to Chloe's footstep when there not in heels, sue her). 

"Hey, Chloe what ice-cream did you end up getting?" She asked, facing the footsteps.

"Wait you're blind! Why didn't you have your cane earlier?" The voice, definitely not Chloe's, asked approaching her.

"Are you the guy from earlier, the one I ran into?" Marinette asks, avoiding his question.

"Ahh... Yes. Sorry about the 'watch where you're going' that was incredibly insensitive, even for me," he responded.

"Don't worry about," Marinette says, nonchalantly. "I'm Marinette."

"Hi, Marinette, my name is Damian," he responds. "So why are you alone in the park in the most crime-ridden city in America."

"Why? You trying to kidnap me?" Marinette answers with a giggle. "I'm waiting for my friend to get back."

"What have I told you about not talking to strangers, especially ones that look dark and angsty," Chloe says, walking up with two ice-creams in her hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Chloe. I forgot to ask, 'hey, Person, I've never met before, are you dark and angsty? If so by my dear friend Chloe's rules, I'm not allowed to speak with you' because I can totally trust someone's answer," Marinette says sarcastically.

"I'm the sarcastic one! You're supposed to be the sweet angel, who is sometimes terrifying," Chloe wines, placing Mari's cone in her hand.

"Whatever you say, Bee. Damian this is Chloe, Chloe this is Damian. Ya know the person I supposedly 'made a scene over'." Marinette said.

"Nice to meet you, Chloe, I should be off, I don't want to disturb you both anymore and my father will call me soon for a meeting," Damian says, standing. He turns to Marinette and says. "I hope to meet you again." Before he exited the park. 

"How... you can't even see how hot he is," Chloe complains, slouching beside Marinette. 

"Chloe, ya know looks don't matter to me because it's what's on the inside that counts," Marinette says a smile on her face, already knowing how Chloe would respond.

"Plus you're blind so you don't have to worry about how they look," Chloe snickers before checking her watch. "If you want time to walk around the store a bit before dinner, we should get ready to go."

"Cool, let's go then, I promised Mama something I need your eyes to help me," Marinette said, standing up. She tucked her cane away and let Chloe lead her to the shopping district.

The finished shopping, Marinette got her Mama some homemade tea from one of the small business, and a fun new apron. (I'm not funny, so I'm not going to attempt to come up with something clever.) They got back to the hotel with enough time to get ready for dinner. Marinette put on an outfit, with the help of Chloe, high waisted black ripped jeans, a white lace tank crop top, and a pink mid-thigh cardigan, paired together with a silver moon necklace. (idk, it be 1:30). The bus surprisingly didn't leave without her, which she was happy about. The dinner was phenomenal and she has hopes for a good rest of her night, that was until she went to the bathroom and found out her group left without her. She sighs, pulls out her flip phone (I'm like 98.9% sure blind people can't use smartphones.) and dials Chloe's number.

"I tried to get Bustier to wait for you, but little miss liar lied and said you were already on the bus," Chloe explained.

"It's fine... I need a walk anyways, see you later," Marinette said, hanging and putting her phone on silent and exits the restaurant. Not too long after she hears light footsteps touch the ground.

"Miss do you need help getting back to where you are staying? You know this is the most crime-ridden city in the world," A somewhat familiar voice comes from behind her.

"Seriously Damian we're back to Miss?" Marinette laughs.

"Robin, I told you to stay on the roof," another voice comes from landing beside them.

"Damian, you're friends with Richard? He was my tour guide earlier," Marinette adds.

"Umm yes, I'm Damian's brother," Dick said. "You can call me Dick though."

"Hi, Dick, my name is Marinette," She says, holding out her hand in his voice's direction, which he grabs and shakes. She scrunches her nose at the feeling of leather. "Why are you wearing gloves? It's not that cold out."

"Oh I'm a germaphobe," Dick answered quickly.

"Oh I'm sorry, I should be getting back to the hotel," Marinette said, turning her back ti were their voices where.

"Let me walk you ok? Where's your cane?" Damian asks.

"Well Chloe was here with me earlier, so I had put it away in her purse. The class left me behind though, so I was just going to walk home," 

"Wait you're blind? You didn't have a cane earlier as well," Dick asks.

"Oh, that is literally nothing. People think I use it to seek attention," Marinette said. "Damian, can you help me find my hotel?"

"Yea, sure, umm... what hotel are you staying at?" Damian asks. "You can hold on to my arm if it would help you."

"Ok, thank you, I'm staying at Wayne Hotel," Marinette said, grabbing the crook of his elbow.

"See you later, you guys. Call me when you're down, I'll let Brucie know what's happening," Dick said his voice trailing off as they walk off in opposite directions. They walk in silence and when they get to the hotel Marinette squeezes his hand.

"Thanks for walking me, Damian," Marinette said, smiling while looking in where she thinks his face is.

"Bye Marinette, don't be left alone again, people aren't always as nice as me," He snickers. "Good night."

"Night, Dami," Marinette says. as the door opens.

"Marinette! I'm so happy you're ok!" Chloe said, hugging Marinette. She then smacked her arm. "Don't hang up on me again!"

"I'm fine Chloe," Marinette said.

"Thank you so much, Robin! I didn't know how she was going to get back without her cane," Chloe exclaimed. "What have I told you about talking to strangers, even heroes."

"Heroes?" Marinette mutters to herself. "I'm sorry Chloe. I didn't realize that I wouldn't be safe with one of Gotham's heroes."

"I'm messing, come on," Chloe says, grabbing Marinette's arm. "Night Robin."

"Ya night Robin," Marinette says confused. When Marinette gets to her and Chloe's room, she sits on the balcony with hopes of Da-- Robin dropping by. Not too long after she stood outside she heard someone land being her. "Chloe, I'm going to be writing, you can go to bed, I'll be in a bit later." She heard Chloe confirm. "So you're Damian and Robin."

"And you figured it with only meeting me three times, you figured out Grayson with only two times. You know you can't tell anyone," Robin said.

"Well I don't see the difference between you guys, I can only hear the similarities in your voices," Marinette explained. "I wouldn't tell anyone, I understand to have secrets."

"What do you mean?" Robin asks.

"Well for the past couple of years, there had been an akuma problem in Paris," Marinette said.

"What's an akuma and how were they a problem?"

"A villain named Hawkmoth terrorized the city by using their negative emotions against, a hero team named Ladybug and Chat Noir rose to meet the terrorist," Marinette sighed.

"How come no one had mentioned this?" Robin asks,  leaning on the railing beside her.

"Tourists weren't allowed to enter Paris as much and no international news was allowed to do reports. The mayor wanted to keep the whole thing under wraps and we didn't include the Justice League because we realized that people with extra training and sometimes powers would be too hard to take down," Marinette explained.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Robin asks, studying Marinette's face the moonlight highlighting her hair making it more blue than normal along with accenting her cheekbones. 

"My partner, Chat Noir, and I, well just me now," Marinette said, putting her head in hands. 

"You were Ladybug?" Robin asks in disbelief. "Not to sound rude, but how did you manage to do that with your condition."

"While being Ladybug, the magic let me see. They were the best times of my life besides the fact of Hawkmoth. But because of being Ladybug, I was able to see my parents' faces and see the beautiful world. All good things come to an end though, Master Fu took my earrings and Chat Noir's ring and ran away," Marinette accounted a tear slipping down her cheek. "Now I know what I'm missing out on, and there is almost nothing I wouldn't give to see again."

"Why are you telling me this?" Robin asks, looking out over the city.

"Because no one will believe you and I needed someone to talk to who would understand."

"What about Chat Noir?" 

"He's gone, his father killed him and there was nothing I could do," Marinette responding full-on tears streaming down her face now.

"Alfred told me the best way to comfort someone, who is distressed, is to hug them. Do you need a hug?" Robin said, standing up straight.

"Please, he promised he would have my back, but he left me here to deal with the aftermath of Hawkmoth and my class," Marinette said into his shoulder

"Does it have anything to do with your class leaving you behind?" Robin asks, rubbing small circles into her back.

"One girl turned them all against me Adrien tried to help me but her lies were just too convincing. They say I bully her and I lie about everything. They took my cane earlier because they didn't want me to draw attention to myself, that's why I ran into you earlier."

"I was rude earlier which was bad in my part especially since you fell," he said quietly.

"No it was my fault for running into you, I'm just happy we're both ok," Marinette smiled, breaking the hug. She leans against the railing again with Robin following not too long after.

"You said something about writing earlier, what was that about?" Robin asks.

"I write and sing songs," Marinette says.

"Any songs I would know?"

"I don't know, but I sing and write with my uncle Jagged a lot."

"Would you sing?" he whispers almost inaudibly.

"I haven't sung in front of many people, and Chloe is right you're still a stranger," Marinette says with a giggle.

"I bet you have a lovely voice," Robin says. "But you don't have to, I won't force you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."

"I will but give me a moment, I want you to be brutally honest because no matter how I love my family and friends they won't tell me if I'm bad," Marinette whispers. "I'm only going to sing the chorus I haven't figured out the rest." (not my song In My Head by the Bedroom. Highly recommend, underrated song.)

It consumes my mind

It consumes my soul

It wants my life it wants complete control

Somebody help me before it's bad

Somebody help me before I end up dead

I feel alone, all of the time

It's still quite, lurking inside

"I was right, the voice of an Angel," he says, breathlessly.

"Robin, time to go, have a good night Miss," Dick says, dropping onto the balcony.

"Night Damian, Dick," Marinette says, walking towards the door.

Now Dick and Damian stood on the rood of the hotel. "So you want to explain how she knows who both of our identities?" Dick asked his arms crossed across his chest.

"She recognizes our voices after her friend pointed out that I was Robin she put two and two together," Damian says uninterested.

"Besides knowing your name and that you are Robin, does she know that you are Damian Wayne," Dick asks. 

"No, I don't think she does," Damian answer. "Now that we're done gossiping, can we go back to the manor?"

"You gonna tell Brucie," Dick asks, standing.

"I mean it is kinda important," Damian shrugs before running in the direction of the manor.

At the end of the week at the gala, Marinette wore a floor-length off the shoulder red dress the skirt of the dress looks like a flower. She loved the feel of the smooth fabric, Chloe said that the color complimented her skin. She was sitting at a table with Chloe when she heard the almost familiar footstep of Damian. 

"Nice try Damian, I can tell you are there," Marinette smiled.

"Well, I wasn't trying to sneak up on you, because if I was trying you wouldn't have heard me," Damian says quietly."I was coming to see if you wanted to dance."

"That would be lovely, I'm not too good at dancing," Marinette says.

"I'll lead, I'll make sure that you are comfortable," Damian reassures.

"I trust you," Marinette says, letting herself be lead out to the middle of the floor. "So tell me more about you, all I know is that you have a night job. How old are you because you sound on the younger side to me."

"I'm about to turn twenty in the upcoming month," Damian says.

"I just turned eighteen. What do you want to do in the future?"

"I help run my father's company, I know you want to be a singer," Damian asks, spinning her.

"That's true. What company does your father run?"

"He owns and runs Wayne Enterprises."

"That means you're a Wayne? Is it your choice that you want to work at WE or is it being forced onto you?"

"It's my choice."

"Does it bring you happiness?"

"Yes," Damian says pressing his forehead to hers as the song ends.

"Then that's all that matters then," Marinette says,

"Oh my god! Dick wasn't lying!" A voice screams with fast-approaching footsteps following. Marinette turns to the voice's direction. "How'd you get someone so adorable?"

"Jason! I told you to-- he wasn't lying!?" another voice says, coming from the same direction.

"Marinette, meet my other two of my adopted brothers," Damian said. "The first one is Jason and the second one is Tim."

"We're numbers now? What happened to us being people?" Jason whines.

"You're bothering me," Damian said.

"Damian, be nice to your sibling, I bet they're lovely to have around," Marinette says, playfully smacking his arm.

"Well, then I would win that bet," Damian snickers.

"Well it's nice to meet someone that can stand being around Demon Spawn," Jason says.

"Are you guys dating? Dick said you guys were and that Damian calls you Angel," Tim asks.

"We're not dating," Damian says.

"He has not called me Angel, but he compared my singing voice to one," Marinette responds.

"I forgot to tell you that there was no way the Jagged was complimenting you to be nice. You have a heavenly voice," Damian says, kissing her hand.

"Jagged... like Jagged Stone, Jagged?" Tim asked, squeezing in between her and Damian.

"There are a lot of people with Jagged in the world, what makes you think I'm talking about Jagged Stone?" Marinette asks, speaking towards the spot where Tim had been standing.

"Well, is it him?" 

"Yes, it is him, but--" Marinette said now looking on Tim's direction. 

Tim screams. "Seriously! You're his prodigy?"

"More like his niece but prodigy works," Marinette explains.

"That's awesome, can I have an autograph?"

"I don't know when I'll see Uncle Jagged again, but--" Marinette starts.

"No from you, your voice is calming and helps me focus on my work," Tim says.

"Umm, sure!" 

"After she signs it, will you leave us alone?"

"Yes, we'll leave you two love birds alone," Jason said, grabbing Tim's arm.

"They seem nice," Marinette said. 

"They can be but they are a bit overbearing," Damian said, pulling her into another dance.

"It's nice to have people support you in their own unique ways," Marinette said. They dance in silence at one point Marinette almost falls Damian pull her close.

"You're adorable when you blush," Damian says, lifting her chin so he could get a good view of her face.

"That's not fair, I can't see if you're blushing," Marinette pouts. "Can I feel face?"

"Why?"

"You don't have to, but feeling is like seeing for me along with other blind people," Marinette said, quickly.

"Umm... do you want to go out to the garden so it's quieter?"

"Ummm ok," Marinette said, letting Damian take her to the garden. Damian leads her to the nearest bench. Marinette puts her hands in his. "I don't want to jab your face can you?" Before she finishes, he takes her hands and places them on his face. "Don't worry I recently washed my hands."  Damian chuckles. She runs her fingers over his jaw and cheekbone. "What color are your eyes?"

"Jade green, I also have black hair, and tan skin," Damian says.

"You're handsome... umm I mean you have strong facial features...?" Marinettes stutters.

"You're beautiful as well. Thank you, Angel," Damian says, kissing her forehead. “Will you come to dinner at the Manor tomorrow night?”

“That would be lovely, but I can’t be out too late, we are leaving the day after tomorrow,” Marinette said.

The next day leading up to dinner with the Waynes was uneventful besides some of Lila’s normal lies about Marinette and fabulous stories about her old famous friends that she ran into without anyone else around. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing Damian again. Sure she had been less willing to let herself be open ever since Lila and the loss of Adrien, who had stood with her. 

She got dressed in a white tank crop top with a pink floral pattern, a high waisted skater skirt, and paired with white converse. Chloe helped her, obviously, she said that Marinette looked appropriately dressed. 

“Thanks, Chloe, I’m going to head downstairs. Damian said he would be here at 5:30,” Marinette said, hugging her. 

“Well it’s 5:25 you should hurry,” Chloe said pushing her out the door. 

“Oh crap! Bye Chloe!” Marinette said, rushing down the hall to the elevator. As she ran out of the elevator she heard the lobby doors open. 

“Marinette, did you just run down here? Where’s your cane?” Damian asks, approaching the girl. 

“Hey aren’t you the boy that danced with Marinette yesterday?” Lila’s voice came from what Marinette remembers to be the sitting area. 

“If I am, why does it matter to you?” Damian growls. 

“Because she’s a bully,” Alya’s voice came from near where she heard Lila. 

“I don’t what you’re talking about, she’s sweet, kind, even after I was rude to her and incredibly strong,” Damian said, taking Marinette’s hand. 

“She forgets her cane on purpose for attention,” Lila states. 

“No, from what I was told, you complained that her cane was bringing her too much attention. The cane is what helps her see,” Damian says. “Come on, Angel, Alfred is waiting.”

“Thanks, Dami,” Marinette says. As they get into the back of the car Marinette says. “You know you didn’t have to do that, they stopped affecting me months ago.”

“Just because I didn’t have to doesn’t mean I didn’t want to,” Damian says, kissing her hand. 

“Thank you Dami,” Marinette said, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks. 

“You’re adorable,” Damian said. 

“Now Master Damian, I know I raised you better than that,” Alfred said from the front. 

“Pennyworth, this is Marinette, Marinette this is Alfred our butler and unofficial official grandfather,” Damian said. 

“It’s nice to meet you Monsieur!” Marinette says enthusiastically. 

“Miss Marinette, if I may be so bold, where is your cane?” Alfred asks. 

“Ummm I didn’t realize you knew, but I ran out of the hotel room without it,” Marinette said. 

“Hey, Mari I don’t think I ever got your number. May I have it so we can stay in touch once you leave?” Damian asks, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Oh yeah!” Marinette says, taking out her phone. “Sorry I can text because they haven’t exactly made a smartphone for blind people yet.”

“We can skype,” Damian offers, putting his number in her phone. Before she recites her to him and he names her contact Angel. 

“Of course!” Marinette says as they pull up to the Manor. 

“There are seven steps coming up, I’ll let you know when there are left by squeezing your hand,” Damian says quietly, respecting her wishes to not use her cane. As they get close to the top, as Damian promised, he squeezed her hand. Alfred opened the door to reveal the rest of the Wayne family. 

“This is Marinette,” Damian says. “Marinette this is my family”

“My father, Dick, Tim, Jason, and you already met Alfred,” Damian said, pausing for each of them to say hi in between each introduction. 

“Well dinner is ready if you would like to follow me to the dining room,” Alfred said. 

“Alfred made Shepherd's Pie,” Damian said, pulling Marinette’s seat out for her. 

“That’s lovely, thank you for having me by the way Mr. Wayne,” Marinette said, picking up her fork. 

“It’s my pleasure, please call me Bruce,” he said. 

Dinner went on fine until Jason realized something, Marinette never looked directly at anyone she always looked slightly to the side or a bit above whoever was speaking. 

“Marinette, are you blind?” Jason asks. 

“Jason! That’s very rude,” Dick says. 

“No it’s a valid question, I am in fact blind,” Marinette said.

“You’re very independent,” Bruce notes.

“Well I don't like being seen just for my disability or for being weak because of my blindness,” Marinette explains.

“Angel, no one would think that,” Damian said. “You’re incredible.”

“Thanks, Dami.”

“So Marinette you know our identities, do you plan to keep them?” Tim says.

“Of course,” Marinette answered.

“She used to be a hero,” Damian said. “Ladybug, the hero of Paris.”

“I saw a video of a battle, how were you able to defeat the akuma?” Dick asks.

“Well, I used to have a kwami, her name is Tikki, she gave me sight while I was transformed,” Marinette explained. “But sadly, Master Fu took back my earrings along with Chat’s ring and disappeared.”

“How do we know you're telling the truth?” Jason asked, receiving a smack from Damian. “Hey! It’s a valid question!”

“I’ve seen the footage, they look the same,” Dick says.

“From what I’ve heard, I have scars up and down my back from the countless akuma attacks,” Marinette explained. “And because I was supposed to become the next guardian and I was the holder of the ladybug miraculi, I have with the Miraculi mark.” She then bent her leg to show the mark on her ankle. 

“Ms. Marinette speaks the truth, I have the mark of the peacock miraculi,” Alfred said.

“Adri-- Chat Noir had the same mark.”

“Before he went missing you mean,” Dick cuts in.

“Not missing, Gabriel, his father, and Hawkmoth, killed him before he realized it was his son,” Marinette explained.

The conversation moved into a brighter topic after that. When it was time to leave Damian decided to drive her back to her hotel. He walked her to the lobby. 

“Be my girlfriend?” Damian asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I would love to!” Marinette said, hugging him. She went up on tip-toes and kissed his cheek. “Bye Damian, I’ll count the minutes till I see you again.”

“I’ll see you off to the airport tomorrow,” Damian said, kissing the crown of her head.

(Sorry for the skips, I just wanna get to the part that the whole story has been building to.) Their relationship didn’t falter with distance after Marinette graduated, she moved to the states to attend Gotham Academy. Uncle Jagged promised her parent to check up on her him being in America for recording and shows. Not too long after they graduated college Marinette became a hit as Nettie. Damian proposed to her on the date of her debut. They got married on their fifth anniversary of dating. A year later they had their first son Thomas Adrien Wayne-Dupain. 

On Thomas’ second birthday, Damian prepared a surprise.  “Not too much longer Angel, just a couple more steps.”

“Today on the show we have Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Wayne or as most of you know her as Nettie,” the hostess says. “What most of you all don’t know is that she is blind. Nettie, will you give a wave to the crowd?”

She waves and whispers to Damian. “I might murder you, why are we here?”

Damian just chuckles, kisses her head, and says “Don't worry it’s about to get better.”

“So not too long ago, I reached out to Damian Wayne, her husband, to bring her onto the show so we can we have her reaction for a first time using E-Sight.” At that Marinette hugs Damian, and whispers graciously.

“So today is our son’s second birthday and I know it’s not a gift him, but it will be the first time she sees us for the first time,” Damian says.

“So we have an E-Sight technician here today to help her with the glasses, which she’ll be able to keep,” the hostess says.

 “So I’m going to slide this on your head,” the technician says, placing it over her eyes. “Can you give a look around for me? Can you see?”

“Yes! Yes! I can see,” Marinette exclaims, turning to look at the two most important people in her life. “You guys! You’re both as beautiful as I imagine.” Marinette cries, tears streaming down her face. 

“Come on, Angel, don’t cry,” Damian says, wiping her tears away before pulling her into a hug.

“Thomas, honey, you’re so cute…. I can’t believe it! I can see you both!” Marinette says, taking Thomas. “Hi honey, Mama can see you!”

“Nettie, we brought the rest of your family here so you can see them as well,” the hostess says, welcoming her family to the stage.

“Guys! Mama! Papa! You guys!” Marinette says, letting herself be enveloped in a hug.

“We’re so happy for you, Pixie-Pop!” 

She couldn’t be happier, she was happy before but now she can see the beauty of the world once again. She loved her family more than words can explain and now she didn’t have to just picture them, she can see them for real.

[thesolitarystripe]

Writing Prompt # 8: A 96-year-old woman’s phone number is one digit away from that of the suicide hotline. She could have changed it long ago, but she does not mind.

Here's your TW: Talk of familial loss, mention of suicide.

I found this writing prompt on tumblr from writing-prompts-re and for whatever reason it spoke to me. I just thought, what an endearing prompt for a subject that could potentially be so dark. It is dark, it's sad, and what a rainbow a little old woman painted over it. At least, in my head. I've been slumping back into that habit of losing my motivation. I'm not sure why. I'm giving myself the grace to do what I can and not beat myself up over it. Finding this writing prompt sparked it up all over again for me. It made me really miss my grandma. While I don't think she ever had this problem, I know she would have been just as comforting as Myrtie. In a way, I think I wrote this for her. I love you Nonni! Thank you for always being a soft spot to land. Enjoy.

Another Friday evening, another Jeopardy re-run. Myrtle, or as all her friends used to call her—Myrtie sat within the comfort of her reddish, brown recliner that was much too big for her. Always a petite woman, she looked like a twelve-year-old with the way the cushions swallowed her thin limbs, but she also appeared immeasurably comfortable. Myrtie pulled up the purple knitted blanket over her knees, gently tugged up the arms of her robe over both wrists as her hands lifted, poised with knitting needles and she began to bring yet another blanket into existence. This was how Myrtie spent most of her evenings, swaddled in a plush terry cloth robe, a pair of thick socks pulled up to the calf, and her hair resting beneath a bonnet, wrapped in curlers. Beside her was a cup of decaffeinated tea and a plate of cookies. Myrtie’s hands, while weathered by 96 years of life, worked the needles flawlessly as if they were an extension of a machine designed exactly for the purpose of knitting large lounging blankets. Every so often, she would giggle over something Alex Trebek would say to the participants on the show but save from the singsong chuckle, the room was silent. Myrtie had lost her husband twenty years ago. After marrying at the age of eighteen, it had been a difficult transition into this life alone. A life without his stories, hugs and forgetfulness. Myrtie often smiled sadly, wishing now for a sock to be left out of place or for the trash to be forgotten on the side of the house on garbage day. All those little things that would always make her so furious with her spouse, they were the details she missed most. Myrtie survived much longer than most of her friends, save for one that had gone to live inside a facility. They never spoke much, Myrtie assumed that either her friend had limited access to her phone or was too busy hustling the other residents in Bingo to bother calling. Myrtie was grateful for her loving and supportive family, but they could do nothing during the lonely nights when they went home to their families. She could not blame them. So, when her phone rang every so often late at night, Myrtie would answer. When the calls first began, she thought it odd that telemarketers would call so late but she soon realized her mistake.

This night, when her landline phone rang, she picked up the corded antique beside her and spoke.

“Hello?” Her voice held that raspy quiver that all good grandmothers had.

“I think I’m done.” The voice was new to her.

“Done? Done with what sweetheart?” There was a pause, as if the other voice sensed something was off but the draw of Myrtie’s kind voice urged them on.

“With living. With the world. I’m done here.”

“Oh, surely there’s things to stick around for,” Myrtie said, fluffing out her half-knitted blanket as she tucked the phone against her shoulder and ear to better use both hands.

“I don’t have anyone.”

“You have yourself. Isn’t he worth living for?” Another beat of silence. “You sound like you’re being too hard on yourself, your importance in the world does not hang on teeter-tottering validation of other people, honey. To be loved by others is a wonderful thing but loving yourself is just as important. Why don’t you stick around for yourself?”

“I’m lonely! Why would I want to be alone?”

“That is a good question, baby. Loneliness is so hard.” Myrtie’s hands paused, her heart gave one of those familiar throbs as it related to the young soul on the other end of the phone. Loneliness was something she was well acquainted with. “Before you go, have you got time for a story?”

“Well…yeah, I guess…”

Myrtie straightened up in her recliner, stretched out her back, and sighed. “I was married at eighteen years old to the love of my life. Albert. Goodness was he handsome! Now, we spent the first few years of our marriage apart—he went off to serve our beloved country. I was so desperately lonely without him. It didn’t matter that I had friends who called me up every day, parents to have supper with at night, I even watched the neighbor’s kids next door for a little spending money, and as busy as they kept me, I could never shake that feeling. When he came back, oh, it was the best day of my life! We spent the next fifty-six years together, every day! We had five beautiful children, a handful of pets that came and went, we lived in two different states and bought over four different cars.” Myrtie sat there smiling, her knuckles buried in the thick knots of her craft. “I miss him every day, it’s been twenty years and I still roll over in bed and miss the sight of him lying there, snoring.” Myrtie laughed. “Oh Lord how he snored! It was like someone was chopping down logs all night. I hated him for it,” her laugh tapered off in that pensive way, as her heart remembered fondly the memory then internalized the pain of it. “I would give anything to hear it now.”

There was silence. Sixty seconds of silence.

“Someone’s going to miss you like that, honey.”

A soft sob rustled against the receiver of the phone.

“I don’t know who you all have in your life, but I know you have a mama and a daddy. Even if things aren’t good between you now, they’ll miss you like that. Even if you haven’t spoken in years, they’ll miss the way you laughed, the way you hugged, the way you smelled even when you were nothing but a stinky young thing! Sometimes loneliness clouds our vision of all the people we do have. It is so easy to want for something, to be lonely because what we have doesn’t live up to what we think we should have. A girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, best friend of forever, doting parents—we all have some sort of expectation. We are human and that is perfectly all right. I’ll tell you what though, there are no shoulds. Don’t let those insidious little shoulds run your life. I should this, I should that—toss that notion away, baby. There is just what is, what you want and what you don’t want. You got someone that loves you? Even one person that you’re not quite thinking of?”

“Yes…” a soft sniffle followed the confession.

“Good, all you really need is you baby but, I’m glad you have someone looking out for you. They’ll be missing you something fierce if you decide to be done. Even if they’re all you got, remember it’s about quality. Albert was my only friend for as long as I can remember. Sure, I met some ladies over the years and we gabbed and baked and knitted together but—the quality of those relationships were different. Don’t cheapen the idea of the one you have just because you think you need a lot! It’s better to have one person at your funeral to speak on what a wonderful person you were than be lying dead in a room full of people with nothing to say. What do you think about calling them right now and telling them what’s on your heart? You think that might help? If not, I’m happy to keep chatting with you, sweetheart. I ain’t got nothing to do but finish up this blanket I’m knitting. My kids already have ten of them in each of their houses so maybe I’ll just give this one to you. You like purple?”

There was a soft laugh that responded. “It’s a good color,” he said with a deep breath, one that sounded like it cleansed years of his life.

“Yeah, it is, baby. I’ll finish it for you and when you come to get it, I’ll make sure to have some cookies on for you. We’ll sit and chat and make sure you’re doing all right, hm?”

“That sounds nice,” he was chuckling again, the remnants of his tears still dripping off his face. “I think—I think I’m going to call my friend Greg.”

“All right, well tell Greg I said hello. He’s welcome to come with you now, sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.” Another silence followed. It was only broken by another slow breath. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Thanks for calling honey. You have my number now so don’t be leaving grandma Myrtie without saying goodbye! Promise me.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“Good. Go call Greg now, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I will, bye Myrtie.”

The phone clicked and Myrtie hung up her landline with a soft clack of its plastic body. Myrtie knew there would be no visitation from her new friend. It was what she offered to all of them, a place to escape their loneliness. A reminder that while life’s peaks and valleys were relentless, there was always something to look forward to. Even if it was just a warm plate of cookies and a handmade blanket. Myrtie knew her phone number was one digit away from the suicide hotline. She pieced that together after receiving a dozen calls from hurting hearts. At first, she thought to hang up but, something about the way the broken words of other human beings dipped into her soul—she knew she could not let them go. Myrtie had no idea if anything she ever said actually helped someone, if they stayed. What she did know is that it helped her. In her own loneliness, it was like a salve on her own heart to know that others shared the same feelings but soldiered on despite the pain. Myrtie had lived within the dark recesses of her own mind and found light only in those around her once she willed herself to be open to seeing the love she did have, even if it wasn’t Albert’s. Myrtie reached over and grabbed her teacup, put it to her lips, rocked in her recliner, and looked at the phone. She hoped it would always ring when it needed to.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Memento (1.1k, Dean/Cas, 15x15 ‘Gimme Shelter’ coda)

read on ao3

Why did Castiel have a photo of himself in a cowboy hat? Where did he get it? Who took it, and more importantly who gave it to him?

           Cas finds it, oddly enough, on Dean’s nightstand. Wedged between the pages of an old tome left abandoned, hidden. With only its edge poking out. He pinched the visible end, pulling carefully. Slowly. As if taking it won’t interfere with Dean’s research. Cas doubts, though. A layer of dust blankets most of the cover, and treatises on variations of hex bags doesn’t seem like a book Dean reads during his spare time. Besides these obvious clues, there’s also the powerful tug of curiosity calling him forward. Siren song too tempting for such a simple bookmark.

           He frees it.

           It’s not a bookmark. It’s him.

           Tracing the edges of his profile, Cas studies the candid shot taken one, maybe two years ago. Hastily bought cowboy hat looking ridiculous paired with his everyday outfit of a suit and trench coat. Still, he kept it on. Brought this accessory home, baited into doing so, and hung it over a hook in his room. Worn only when requested.

           Not tonight. They’re watching a different movie. A murder mystery Dean found from the seventies, rented through Amazon. He promised Cas would like it. Swore there were no cowboys in this picture.

           But he hadn’t meant what Cas held in his hand, did he?

           Dean returns, Cas hearing the slight hiccup of breath he makes. Cas glances from his face, seeing how pale Dean’s become. Towel slung around his shoulders; wet hair plastered to his forehead. Sleepwear damp from him dressing while not fully dry. His lips flatten, dimples popping as lines around his eyes crinkle. “Hey.”

           “Hey,” Cas says, flicking the photo, “where’d you get this?”

           He shrugs, “Took it on my phone.”

           “When?”

           More shrugging. Dean shuffles forward, dumping his towel on a nearby pile. Waits until he’s on the other side of his bed, sitting across from Cas. Bodies turned towards each other. “Back in Tombstone,” Dean explains, “when we were filling Baby’s tank after chatting with the sheriff. You were watching that busker by the bus stop.”

           “He was really good,” Cas adds, remembering. A guitar melody echoing in his mind, haunting but beautiful. It reminded him of someone, and that’s why he stared in the busker’s direction. At least then there’d be less questions.

           Dean nods. “Anyway, I’d just paid the attendant and we could’ve left but… the sun was going down at the right time, and you looked…” His hand waves, parsing through the air for help. He gets none. “Figured I should take a picture,” he says, lamely, “I never seem to have enough of you, Cas.”

           Cas thinks about his reasoning. About how many pictures of Dean he has. On his phone, sure. In person, like what he holds? There’s barely any. Dean’s fondness for visible copies of memories warms his heart, and his thumb brushes his own cheek. “You took a great photo of me.”

           “Helps when I’ve got a good model.”

           “You had this printed, correct?” he asks, switching course. Driving off the highway before they could continue on dangerous terrain. “How?”

           “Took it to a pharmacy in town,” Dean tells him, “They got the tech, even though a lot of people don’t need it anymore. Probably the only guy who uses it, actually. The kid behind the counter knows me by name.” He chuckles, rubbing at his knee. “Were you thinking of getting some photos of your own printed?”

           “I think so, yes…” Cas smiles, “Hanging some pictures in my room might be nice, or I can always keep them in books.” An arched, pointed brow that draws further awkward laughter from Dean.

           “Yeah, I – you caught me,” he says. Dean swipes at his nose, head bowed, “I… I was going through my photos but – uh… time got away from me. Knew you’d be swinging by soon for our – our movie, hang… thing. I slid them in there to put away later, after my shower or after the – the movie.”

           “So, if I were to open this book… there’d be more pictures?” Dean won’t answer. That’s all Cas needs. He places the photo on top of its former resting place. “I think it’s about time we start that movie, don’t you?”

           “I’ll boot my laptop,” Dean says, standing. Obvious relief entwined with his tone. “You get cozy, Cas.”

           “As you wish.” The other man stills by his desk, shoulders tensing. Cas softly huffs under breath, discarding his outer layers. Princess Bride was months ago. He liked quoting it, still, whenever the occasion arose. By the time Cas slips his shoes off, Dean lay in bed. Propped by pillows, laptop on his lap. Cas climbs in next to him, legs pressed together. Socked foot against bare. “Dean?”

           “Yeah, Cas?” He worries his lip, distracted while setting up the movie. “What is it?”

           “Do you have a second copy of that picture of me?”

           Dean’s finger stills over the spacebar. His gaze darts over, peeking at Cas out the corner of his eye. “Didn’t know you were that self-absorbed Cas.”

           He elbows Dean, feigning a scowl that blossoms into a tiny grin when Dean fully faces him. Their noses inches apart, where he can feel each breath that leaves him. “It’s not that,” Cas says, “I… it’s a great picture that you took. To me, it wouldn’t be a reminder of the subject… but of the artist.”

           His skin radiates heat, temperature rising each second after Cas spoke. Dean glances at his lips, then meets Cas’s eyes again. “I don’t have to print another one out,” he says, voice a hoarse whisper, “you can keep that one.”

           “Really?”

           “Yeah,” Dean coughs, breaking their contest. Turning back towards the screen, “As you wish or… whatever.”

           Cas feels his body tip over the edge, bursting with an enormous light. Going full supernova. In the next blink, all that fire collapses in on itself and rests nicely in his stomach. A flickering candle that won’t ever fade.

           He scoots closer, throwing his leg across Dean’s. Their ankles crossed. “So,” Cas purrs, “this movie we’re watching? What’s it about?”

           “Like I told you Cas, it’s a murder mystery,” he grouses, “I’m not gonna spoil anything?”

           “Not even the setting? The characters? The name?”

           Dean relents, hissing out a few curses before revealing bits of the story. “It’s called the Last Sheila, and it…” His mind wanders, Dean’s voice lulling him safely into a comfortable state. A half-awareness. Being both in the moment and outside it. Cas looks at the scene as if he were a voyeur. Considers their positions, history, and everything else. Wonders how it would look captured through the lens of a camera.

           It’d make for an amazing photo. However, Cas is perfectly content letting the opportunity pass. Being present with Dean more important than that. They don’t have to pin every butterfly to the corkboard or trap every firefly in a glass jar. Life moves forward. Cas will have plenty of chances, enough he can fill a scrapbook.

           Right now, he and Dean are watching a movie.

           That’s all.

[ti-bae-rius]

Malec couple’s yoga one shot

“I can’t believe you agreed to this.”

“What? Yoga is a really great training activity. It keeps your muscles strong and toned and is great for flexibility and stamina.”

“Flexibility and stamina? I do like the sound of that.”

“Magnus!”

The two of them walked along the streets of New York, both in workout gear – though that phrase meant two wildly different things for each. Alec’s runes were glamoured and he wore his training gear – sans the heavy leather fabric shadowhunters donned for battle – which mainly consisted of a pair of loose jogging pants and a t-shirt that (like all Alec’s t-shirts) had seen better days. Magnus, however, had taken this as an opportunity to acquire some truly magnificent new clothes. A tank top reading ‘I’m heavily meditated’ and a pair of tight-fitting joggers, cuffed at the ankle and tailored to hang just right, completed Magnus’s outfit. Alec had to smile. No one else, in the history of workouts, had tailored yoga pants. But then no one else was quite like Magnus.

“We don’t need mats or anything, do we?” Alec asked, as they passed under the archway into Central Park. “The information seemed really vague. Do you think it’ll run over – my mom can only handle Max and Rafe for so long.”

“All this worrying doesn’t seem very zen of you,” Magnus chastised, taking Alec’s hand and swinging it like they did when they were making Max and Rafe ‘fly’ as they walked along the paths. Alec always thought this was somewhat of a big ask from Max, who actually could fly without the aid of Alec’s arms that were usually already somewhat tired from demon-hunting all day. Nevertheless, their squeals of joy made it all worthwhile.

A small throng of people were gathered, couples stretching together and chatting, in Central Park’s Sheep Meadow. Though still busy, it was somewhat less crowded and tourist-populated than the majority of the Park. Alec squinted to look who was there as the two of them walked closer and leaned up to whisper to Magnus, “There’s more gays than I thought there’d be.”

“Oh please, couples yoga is for three sets of people: bohemian lesbians who have squeezed this in between sensual pottery and live drawing where they only draw Cate Blanchett, straights whose marriages are on the rocks and are in desperate need of closeness not derived from brushing past one another on the way to write something on their family planner by the fridge, or gay couples – that’s us – whose marriage is just where it’s supposed to be.”

“And who want a brief moment of respite from their children – one of whom transforms into a bat when annoyed and one who loves annoying his brother?”

“I don’t think that’s quite as universal as you might expect,” Magnus pointed out and Alec laughed.

Thankfully, no one else seemed to have yoga mats. Despite Magnus’s assertions, most of the couples here looked calm and happy to be there. Alec relaxed a little and when a man and woman came over to introduce themselves as the instructors, he leaned casually against Magnus’s side, content to let his husband do the talking. He glanced round, watching the sunlight filter through the leaves of a nearby tree, mottling the grass below it with little pools of soft illumination. This was pretty nice, he thought, a feeling of serenity washing over him. Maybe Magnus was right, maybe Alec did just need to loosen up and relax, try and enjoy these new experiences. Maybe they’d become that couple, the couple that did yoga in the park and had brunch with their kids where they didn’t even drink mimosas or bloody marys because they didn’t need the pick-me-up of socially acceptable mid-morning alcohol. He’d always thought Izzy would be that person.

“Right,” the female instructor said in a voice that commanded the group. Though she’d raised her voice to gather them, she still sounded soft-spoken. “Let’s all find a space and let that space be our own bubble. Today, you and your partner are one being, two halves of one yogi. Together, let your hearts find a space. Be led by your shared heartbeat.”

Magnus and Alec exchanged a look and Magnus raised an eyebrow. Perhaps this was a little…much. Alec gave Magnus a miniscule frown and mouthed “that’s not very zen”. Magnus rolled his eyes but put a hand out and rested it on Alec’s chest, then put the other hand to his own.

“Our collective heartbeat is telling me that we should get out of here,” he said, with the same whimsical timbre to his voice that the instructor had. “It also says that the guac in the refrigerator needs eating tonight.”

Alec gave an inelegant snort and the instructors looked over at them. They didn’t look annoyed – Alec wasn’t sure people who were that at peace could be annoyed – but Alec schooled his expression into neutrality.

“I think just here is fine for our bubble,” he said and Magnus nodded, eyes glittering with amusement.

“I see we have some new energies in our space today,” the male instructor said, his speech with the same gentle lilt as his wife’s. “We welcome you into our family.” Magnus tried very hard not to think of how much this sounded like late-stage Crimson Hand rhetoric. “For our new friends, let me introduce us. This is my wife, Kelly, and I’m Gareth. Family, let’s emit some extra good vibes today to make our new souls feel welcomed and cherished.”

Alec firmly kept his eyes on the instructors instead of giving Magnus the weighted look he wanted to. Okay, this seemed a little full-on, but they’d just got here. They couldn’t judge it yet.

“What we’re going to do is start with a really easy pose that will help to solidify your connection to your partner and maintain your unity throughout our time together today,” breathed Kelly. “Let’s start with a stacked child’s pose. One half of your team transition now from mountain pose down to child’s pose, copying Gareth.”

Alec and Magnus exchanged looks and Alec shrugged, watching Gareth fold himself down onto the floor, facedown, as if having an existential crisis. Alec copied, and immediately felt the grass tickle his nose. From somewhere above him, Kelly continued talking.

“Now for our other halves, gently climb on your partner’s back and settle into the same pose. This is a really easy starting position and will keep us grounded and unified ready for our next step.”

Alec was about to say something when he felt Magnus’s weight settle atop him, pushing him further into the tickly grass. He breathed around the extra weight on his spine and Magnus bent to whisper in Alec’s ear.

“Wanna admit I was right to say we should’ve left?”

“No, this is very soothing,” Alec mumbled, and coughed on the grass that got in his mouth.

“Also, why is this child’s pose? Have Gareth and Kelly ever seen a child? If Max and Rafe were laid on the floor on their faces like this, I’d call an exorcist.”

“Shhh, I’m getting in touch with my inner peace,” Alec mumbled, and spluttered again on the grass in his mouth. “And also with this dirt.”

After a few minutes of relative calm, Gareth’s voice rung out, soft but commanding.

“Let’s all return to mountain pose now, stretching our arms up over our heads to transition to extended mountain.”

When Alec straightened up again, he glanced around, just to make sure he wasn’t being pranked. But no, a dozen other couples were all doing the same as them, lightly holding their hands above their heads, arms outstretched toward the sunny sky of New York. He settled back into it a little and tried to relax, wondering if relaxing was meant to take this much effort.

“Now we’re going to move into couple’s tree pose,” Gareth instructed. “Stand beside your partner and raise the arm closest to them into the air, touching their palm with yours. You can interlock your fingers here for extra emotional support, if you so desire. With your outside leg, rest the flat of your foot against your upper thigh, and bring your outside hands together to press flat against one another in the space between you.”

“Are you interlocking our fingers for emotional support?” Magnus whispered and Alec huffed a laugh.

“I’m doing it for structural support. I’m on some uneven grass and I feel like I’m about to fall over.”

“Consul Lightwood?”

Alec spun so fast that Magnus stumbled sideways, righting himself just in time and shooting Alec a furious look. In fact, the whole group were staring at them, looking as displeased as a group of people who had dedicated themselves to inner peace could look. Which, to be fair, wasn’t that displeased.

“Is there something disrupting your practise today?” Kelly asked, and Alec gave a nervous laugh.

“Just give me one second,” he said, staring off into the treeline where the call had come from.

“The forces outside your bubble are of no consequence during your practise,” Gareth told him, but Alec was already starting to walk over to the trees. Magnus gave a shrug to the instructors and an apologetic glance to the others in the group.

“He’s got a bad knee,” Magnus explained lamely and set off after Alec, jogging to catch up with him as he spoke to two younger shadowhunters. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen and were gaping up at Alec – and now Magnus too – with wide eyes.

“So how about I report back that you guys have been doing some great work on patrol, and you don’t tell anyone about…that,” Alec bartered. The two shadowhunters nodded and hurried off, casting looks over their shoulders as they went, heads bent together as they whispered. Alec looked at Magnus and burst out laughing. “Okay, you were right. We should’ve left before it started.”

“You mean you don’t want to get in touch with our shared heartbeat and become one soul in two bodies?” Magnus asked in mock-offence.

Alec gave him a sly side-eye and took his hand. “I didn’t say that. I’m sure we can work something out. We still have the apartment to ourselves for an hour or two before we have to get the kids.”

“What happened to ‘my mom can’t cope with them for too long’?” Magnus challenged, a devilish glint in his eye.

“She’ll be fine,” Alec assured him.

 “Why are we going to yoga night school?” Magnus asked as they reached the building indicated on Alec’s phone.

“Because it’s the only class I could find in the area when we had someone to watch the kids,” Alec explained. “Don’t worry, I made Simon promise to make them dinner.”

“Well hopefully this one is less traumatic.”

Alec groaned. “Don’t remind me. At least in a building we don’t risk random shadowhunters walking past.”

“Unless they’re in the class too!” Magnus pointed out chirpily and Alec shot him a glare as they went inside.

Much like the last class, people were milling about in couples. Alec gave the crowded hallway a quick scan but couldn’t see anyone they knew – thankfully. Alec relaxed a little. There were about the same number of couples here too, around twelve, and Alec couldn’t tell who the instructors were. Mostly people were talking in soft voices, sipping bottles of water, and leaning affectionately into conversations with their partner. Magnus glanced around.

“What kind of yoga is this?”

“I don’t know, tandem or something,” Alec said. “It was the only one available, but it looks good. The website said something about building trust and closeness or whatever.”

“Clearly imperative for us,” Magnus said dryly. “What with us being so distant and untrusting and all.”

Alec rolled his eyes but smiled.

Before he could respond, a door opened at the end of the hall and a woman emerged in a pair of leggings and a sports bra. She smiled at them and beckoned them all in. As Magnus and Alec passed her in the door, she turned and beamed at them.

“You must be our new sign-ups. I hope you enjoy the class and feel more in touch with yourselves and your bodies when you leave.”

No cult-like mentions of joining a family, or bubbles, or shared heartbeats. Alec heaved a sigh of relief and gave a glance toward Magnus, who was looking around the room. Everyone did seem quite touchy-feely, Magnus thought, but brushed it off. What else should he have expected from couple’s yoga – particularly couple’s yoga with a majority hetero clientele? He and Alec took a seat at the back of the studio, removing their shoes like the others had done and putting them behind their mat, and chatted between themselves until the woman who’d greeted them stepped to the front of the room with her own partner, a tall and well-built surfer-dude type.

“So as most of you know, I’m Carly and this is Dale, and we’ll be your guides tonight. As always, please feel free to take breaks as you need them, communication with your partner is encouraged, and remember to open a conversation after tonight’s class about what you learned about each other and yourself. These classes can really prompt strong feelings, and those should be embraced and discussed in a non-judgemental and loving way.”

“How intense is this class meant to be?” Magnus whispered to Alec, who shrugged, looking a little nervous. Was this for expert yoga-people? Yogists? Yogurts? What kind of relaxation came with a warning?

“While Carly lights the candles and I bring the lights down and close the blinds, feel free to come to rest in any pose that feels comfortable for you. Perhaps that’s child’s pose, a seated position, or maybe even corpse pose,” Dale said, and began readying the room.

“I’m starting to think we might all end up in corpse pose by the end of the night,” Alec hissed quietly, glancing round. “This looks like how most demonic rituals begin.”

“Maybe this is all a trap and Elyaas is just trying to get us to let him see Max again,” Magnus suggested and Alec laughed, looking round at the other couples to see how they were sat. Many were laid side by side, like bodies in mortuary shelves, but a handful of them were laid on their sides, pressed close together as if they were cuddled in bed. Alec raised his eyebrow sceptically and settled for sitting with his legs crossed before him, his back against Magnus who was in the same position.

“I’m getting in first to say we should leave now,” Alec whispered, eyes closed. “Just so if this is as bad as last time, I’ll get to be right.”

Alec felt Magnus’s shoulders move against his as he chuckled, then start a little as Dale spoke again.

“Okay, excellent. Let’s all slowly move to sit opposite our partner, ready to start the session with some synchronized breathing. You can do this in whatever way works for you. You could put a hand on your partner’s chest to feel their inhales and exhales. You could close your eyes and focus on the sound of their breath or maintain eye contact and build a direct channel of communication. You could hold hands. Or you can just meditate, keeping your inhalations and exhalations as one with your partner.”

Alec shuffled round to face Magnus and immediately had to close his eyes. Something about staring into the face of your significant other in a quiet and meditative room made you immediately want to burst out into loud and obnoxious laughter. Instead, he let Magnus’s hand find his in the dark of their closed eyes and tried to match their breaths. Despite himself, Alec relaxed, his shoulders drooping, jaw unclenching. Being a shadowhunter wasn’t a relaxing job, and it was sometimes hard to find time to de-stress. Maybe he’d judged this whole thing too quickly, put off by the last time. Actually, this was pretty nice.

After a while, Carly’s voice came softly through the haze of meditation, instructing them to gently come back to the present. Alec blinked open his eyes and met Magnus’s soft gaze, smiling. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.

“Okay, now we’re going to move to our first real position, yab-yum,” Carly said. “You can stay crossed-legged for this, though one of you will have to move a little. One partner will stay seated and the other will climb into their lap, hooking their legs around the other’s back, coming to rest in a lotus position. Dale and I will be transitioning into yab-yum so you can observe us if you get lost.”

Magnus beckoned Alec forward and put his arms around Alec’s waist as the shadowhunter settled onto his husband’s lap, feeling a little uncomfortable doing so in a crowded room. He glanced around to confirm this was right and found everyone else doing the same.

“Relax, we’re married,” Magnus grinned and Alec nodded, laughing to himself. Magnus was right. This was totally innocent; he was just being coy.

“Gently, you can start to rock forwards and backwards,” Dale instructed, resting his hands on Carly’s hips. “Just a slight movement is fine to start. You can time this to your breathing. Breathe in, rock forward. Breathe out, rock back.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow but shrugged, following as instructed. Alec wrinkled his nose. Was it just him or did this feel weirdly…intense? Even personal?

“Are you starting to get seasick?” Magnus teased and Alec shook his head.

“I’m just really confused. What is this meant to do?”

“Help us breathe together I guess. Though, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve been breathing for centuries and I’m pretty excellent at it. I’m currently on my high score of most breaths breathed. I bet I’ve been breathing way longer than all these assholes.”

Alec laughed and tried to relax into the exercise, but he couldn’t help feeling strangely fidgety, like something wasn’t right.

“For a more connective experience,” Dale said. “You can add extra elements, especially if you’re the partner sat on the floor. Try rocking your lower back as well and raising your hips towards your partner’s.”

Alec and Magnus exchanged confused looks, and Alec felt his eyes widen when a few nearby couples began breathing more shallowly, less controlled. Magnus covered his mouth to stifle a laugh at Alec’s scandalised expression.

“Did you know—” Magnus began and Alec shook his head vehemently.

“Is this…” He dropped his voice and mouthed, “sex yoga?”

Magnus gave a loud snort of laughter and Alec shushed him, but the laugh was contagious and the sound came out disjointed and breathless. Instead, Alec put a finger to his lips, and looked up at the ceiling, trying not to meet Magnus’s eyes and start their laughs again. It was going well until Carly gave a breathy sigh and continued.

“This pose represents the mother and father in the act of sexual union, and really appeals to both genders’ need for interpenetration.”

“Well this isn’t going to help us at all then,” Magnus muttered, rolling his eyes.

Alec lost his composure completely and gave a cry of amusement that was smothered too late by Magnus’s hand. Both of them were laughing now, bent forward towards one another with tears in their eyes. Alec could feel the disapproving stares of the other people in the class and tried hard to compose himself, but it was no use. From somewhere above them, someone cleared their throat and the two of them looked up to see Carly stood there, with a face like thunder. And who could blame her, Alec thought. Two total newbies had signed up for her class, been totally blind-sided by what it actually was, and had some kind of hysteric moment in the middle of their session. Before she could say anything, Alec climbed to his feet and pulled Magnus up after him by the hands, still grinning uncontrollably.

“I, ah, don’t think this is our class,” Alec muttered apologetically.

“Yeah, I’m sure it said Bridge club was next door,” Magnus added and Alec had to press his lips together so he didn’t laugh in the poor woman’s face. Alec swept down, grabbed his shoes in one hand and Magnus’s in the other, shoved a pair at his husband, and stumbled gracelessly from the room, weaving between yab-yumming couples, and shutting the door quickly behind them.

As soon as they were out of the building, the two of them exploded into laughter, the sound ringing out on the quiet New York streets. It was already dark, though not even gone seven, and Alec sank down onto a bench to lace up his sneakers, still shaking with amusement. Magnus was bent double, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Tantric, you idiot,” Magnus wheezed. “Tantric yoga, not tandem.”

“I don’t know what that means!” Alec protested, gesturing to the building. “Who does sex yoga at seven on a Thursday evening? It’s a school day tomorrow!”

Magnus cackled and threw his head back, reminding Alec of their very first date, the two of them howling with joy at the awful subway rappers. It was the first time Alec had remembered really letting go, really surrendering to the idea of being happy. There, walking the streets with Magnus back to the apartment that wasn’t yet his home too, Alec hadn’t thought about what anyone else would think, or if someone he knew would see him. All he could think about was those terrible performers, and the way Magnus’s laugh sounded like someone opening the door to the rest of his life, and the whisper of evening air like a great spirit whispering at him that he could finally relax.

 Walking home, hand in hand, Magnus nudged a hip against Alec’s playfully.

“So, it’s super important to start a conversation after tonight’s class about what you learned about each other and yourself,” Magnus said, imitating Dale’s rolling Californian drawl.

“I learned that I should read the description of things properly before I book them for $60 a person,” Alec said.

“$60?” Magnus demanded incredulously. “You paid $120 for us to sit in a dark room with a bunch of horny couples and sit on each other’s laps?”

Alec rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder and laughed into the fabric of his jacket. “I just wanted us to have a good night out away from the kids and spend some time together.”

“I like movies, you know? And dinner, and the theatre, and literally anything where a woman doesn’t say interpenetration to me in a room full of other people.”

“Come on,” Alec urged, grinning. “Let’s at least take something from it. What did you learn?”

“I learned…that you are very, very attractive when you laugh,” Magnus said, leaning down to kiss the top of Alec’s head, feeling his husband nestle further into his shoulder. “How about you?”

“I learned…” Alec laughed shyly and straightened up, squeezing Magnus’s hand. “I learned that sitting on someone’s lap while they laugh is a unique experience that is not entirely without it’s…appeal.”

Magnus glanced at him and quirked an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

Alec shrugged and Magnus spun Alec round by the hand.

“I’m sure that could be arranged,” Magnus said softly and watched devilishly as Alec went fantastically red. “Come on, let’s go. Luckily for you we have a ridiculous life so there’s plenty of things to laugh at to get you all hot and bothered.”

Alec swatted at him and shushed him, looking around the near-empty street.

“We can start with the fact that your husband still turns you into a fumbling mess.”

“You’ll always do that,” Alec reminded him, and shot Magnus a winning smile that sent Magnus into his own state of unravelling. “We could swing by Simon and Izzy’s and get the kids early.”

“Or…” Magnus said, with a familiar look in his eyes and Alec’s mouth quirked in a smile. “I don’t know why you look so smug; I was going to suggest we sat in silence and timed our breaths to each other,” Magnus said and ducked away, chuckling, as Alec went to grab for him.

When Alec inevitably caught him, he wrapped his arms around Magnus, pressing a kiss to his neck. “What is our life?” he sighed, and Magnus tilted his chin down so his lips met Alec’s.

“Perfect,” Magnus answered fondly. “That’s what.”

DISCLAIMER

This is a fun fic - don’t take it too seriously. No not all yoga is like this, not all tantric yoga is about sensuality or sexuality, but some of it is and that’s great too. Just...take it in the spirit it’s meant.