#we shall see if ppl want it
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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By the way I think everyone should check out my Obey Me Fandragons on Flight Rising (<- link) I have all 15 characters and they took me like. 2 years.
#I put more effort into this image than I. Probably should have.#But they've been done for a while but i want ppl to see them#Please clicky on them....#flight rising#flight rising fandragon#fr fandragon#fan dragon#fandragons#obey me#obey me shall we date#obm#obmswd#SATAN IS NAMED CATAN BC FR WILL NOT ALLOW THE NAME SATAN !!#And to any non-flight rising players seeing this - Raphael/Thirteen/Mephistopheles are all breeds that cannot wear apparel#That is why theyre naked
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-debby ryans at you- how are you feeling about that thunderbolts* trailer, snookums. your old blog is trying to crawl from its grave.
you are an unhinged rat for sending me this ask i hope you know <3 you already knew that but i'm telling you anyway bc you're a rat bc now i have to explain myself-
this is from @eebuckley my partner <3 i've alluded to it in the tags of this blog but i used to be a semi-popular MCU blogger from like 2018 to 2020. (semi-popular for the ship i wrote, anyway) and since like, probably Infinity War/Endgame i have been slowly more and more disillusioned by the MCU ranging from only passively being interested in projects to outright despising them if i saw them. which sort of sucks, given how much i loved the MCU at it's height. i was like. aggressively into it. like a "i had asthma attacks watching trailers bc i got so excited" level of into it. maybe cringey in hindsight, honestly but yk. whatever brings you joy, ig.
and anyway- my partner witnessed my very real and normal reaction to the Thunderbolts* trailer and now i'm *mad* bc i'm actually excited about it. it made me feel about the MCU a way i haven't felt in years, especially after a lot of announcements that rlly pissed me off.
cannot believe it looks like we might actually get a comics-accurate Yelena and a comics-accurate Bucky. i'm such a sucker for Bucky Barnes, he's one of the only Marvel characters i actually read Marve comics for and i'm forever bitter how badly he got screwed over. if that movie is good i'm going to end up writing fanfiction. probably crossover fanfiction bc over my dead body will i write just plain MCU fanfic. and i'm a Jason Todd/Bucky shipper anyway so i could make it work, i think-
anyway TLDR is i'm excited and i'm mad about it and how dare yo expose me for being an MCU fan on THIS blog. you coulda send this ask to my MCU blog that still exists and i have occasionally used. but instead you *exposed* my ass on my refined DC blog as a filthy Marvel fan. i will be divorcing you again. ty gn ily
#necrotic nuisance#necrotic answerings#necrotic apocrypha#<- tag for this partner#i do have two partners btw#if you see my nonsense with divine-dominion/romeliesinruins#that is partner 2#if you see ee-buckley#that is partner 1#(in order of dating them not ranking them i love them equally they are both my rats.)#anyway if anyone rlly wants to know my old marvel blog you can just ask i don't rlly care atp#i cared when i made this blog to hide it#now i sort of don't. i think it's funnier if i expose it#and i don't *mind* talking about my mcu opinions here per se if ppl ask#but i do try to keep this blog on topic as being dc/batcest#but i've got soem marvel/dc crossover ships i enjoy.#if you're curious the marvel characters i care about in order are#miguel o'hara. bucky barnes. silver sable. nightcrawler.#and i want to get into black widow i just haven't yet#used to read a lot of iron man but i don't as much. still have some trades#and i hold the fraction hawkeye run *very* dear to me as a Deaf kid who didn't have anything else#but as much as i hate the mcu and agree with metas that i feel nothing for the mcu that i used to#damnit if i'm not rlly excited for thunderbolts. which. damnit.#i'm back in the fucking building again#low effort shitpost#idk if i'll manage to answer other asks or if i'll sleep#we shall see
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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My new plan of action is to be more unapologetically me at work while still being work me because I am fucking tired of everything and my lack of fucks has apparently hit a new level so instead of fretting about that I am just accepting the damage periods of unemployment does to my personality (work personality? Ability to maintain said personality?) And going with it. If it works great. If it doesn't then they gotta fire me it is whatever I am not even pretending like I care to make a cookie cutter impression.
#i taught my boss's boss how to sneak alcohol into venues at the end of the day (she asked. usually i would be like oh idk about all that.#nah fuck it whatever i got you) but i also balanced it with explaining how working for promoters works because her teenager daughter has#some overlapping interests and i was like ohhh well let me tell you what she should look into when she turns 18 but some of them she might#need to wait till 21#so maybe itll be okay despite the hiccup with me learning how their pto police kinda fucking sucks and i acted like it could be a deal#breaker. but said maybe not i would have to wait and see.#which is true. i didnt fake it i went full “idk if i really need this job but lets see if i *want* this job instead* ya know yall seem like#great ppl doing great work 😌D#did send them into a panic accidentally at the end of the night like “thank you all for your help today and everything” and homegirl was#like leaning back in her chair like o#*like 🤨 oh shit? but no i meant just with training in general#should not have worded it like that because it did sound like i was about to be like “but this isnt the right fit for me so I wont be back#nooooo. whoops. lmao.#i realize this is from the accumulation of my personal flaws and my general abrasiveness but#they shouldnt let me start at new orgs this many times. they should because i sadly need money and a career but really.#i like to think my skill hard work and extremely decent attendance makes it balance out#but i do think i am like hi im here to ruffle your feathers because i do not have the attitude you are expecting as an employer in#(redacted) but it is gonna be like. just enough it might l#*piss some ppl off but not enough for others. but some of you will adore me. you probably shouldnt#but you will. in fact you may cry if i leave as historical proof shows.#and oh i will leave. eventually. because i fucking love leaving#but if you cant figure that out from my resume and took me at my word (fair tho) then that is on you#hopefully though this is okay and i can stay put 2-3 years and promote or transfer. their pto sucks less after 3 years anyways because#that policy becomes less of an issue#but idk. we shall see. they also have blackout months for time off. which like. i am also not keen on.#but like they do also offer overtime those same months so ehhhh#i like extra money but kinda also hate working weekends. so idk.#like is that a benefit? i dont know that that offsets it.#im picky because shittier employers in shittier jobs had better time off benefits so. like cmon now.#-pers
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taking british literature 1 this semester because american lit 1 was full
#community college experience of there being one time slot for every fucking class beyond the basic ones.#professor is very mixed reviews but im good at reading and writing essays abt that stuff so yay#i have three one hour classes back to back on tues and thurs though then i work. but just one calss on monday wed#plus a no set meeting time online psych one which other ppl said was the same as psych one#so hopefully itll be easy (i got a c in psych cause i didnt want to do the interview essay)#i want to if i can fit in one more mon wed morning but we shall see. not much fits and all the online classes are full my b#anyways if this class makes me read austen im going to bitch abt it
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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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augh i have so many Thoughts about the stream today but i do Not have the words nor complete thought for it
#mine.txt#like. this is the culmination of everything that has happened in the season so far#ik i complained about the more inane events but honestly i didnt particularly mind them since it meant i wouldnt feel fomo from having to v#also if they werent there then none of this conflict would feel As impactful i dont think#like. if the PlayersTM didnt spend Months being the only ppl who actually log on regularly#then their complaints would just seem whiney rather than impactful#which would make the abyss arc have less impact to it#if the PlayersTM didnt spend Months tormenting the phantoms i dont think their rivalry wouldve ended up this way#esp zam and minutes rivalry in particular since minute is one of the more active members#and zam basically had no choice but to go to him whenever he wanted to go bother someone#if they didnt have Months of basically not having any in-server events to talk about#the PlayersTM probably wouldnt have talked so much about the meta and their psychological analysis of motives and stuff#anyways super excited for the upcoming batman+joker arc#will zam break minute making him succumb to the void#or will minute form a strong foundation in his heart and mind to prevent him from falling#we shall see :>
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I always say I’m honest about writing fanfiction in my real life but I definitely levelled up by admitting to that in a job interview today 💀
#IN AN INTERVIEW FOR A BANKING JOB SNSHSBSBZHA#IN MY DEFENSE THEY ASKED ABOUT MY HOBIES#and then once I said writing they wanted to know what I write and I panicked#but after they asked what my favourite thing about sharing it is#so I said the human interactions/ability to connect with people#which 1. is actually true and I love it when I don’t have to lie or bullshit in interviews#and 2. they said they were a very people oriented company so I feel like that was actually a very good spin#they did manage to actually make the conversation feel very natural and I laughed a few times and honestly got to be myself#which was so nice I would not hate interviews if they were all like this#anyways it makes me feel better about working there if I do get the job and if I don’t it means they just didn’t vibe with me as a person#which means I don’t need them anyways 😤#(except lol I need the money I gotta stop dipping into savings)#but yeah I actually feel really good about it! they said they were interviewing s few more ppl though so we shall see
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#hello ppl no one asked but i just updated my '8 desert dics' and wanted to mention it here#id make it a tag game but i am too shy dhshdbdj#anyways concept is if you were stuck in a desert with only 8 songs (discs) what would they be#mine are 👂🤚 yes thats right folks#bad friend by rina sawayama!! :D <<<<33333#and then fool by cavetown - go the distance from hercules#saturday nights by khalid - friends by laundry day - kuch kuch hota hai from the bollywood movie#life goes on by tupuc and finally. ellie goes west by flook#so many more could have been put here but these are the ones that made it#we shall see if it ever cjanges again. i made this playlist 3 years ago#le text post
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(in bed) one more nonsense post. did i talk about this....for the produce au im still weighing between taking more stuff from the school april fools, cuz putting more ppl on the behind-the-scenes (like chloes fashion designer ways...rustica songwriting.....the list goes on) makes..sense...?? + i think makes things more varied too for me in interactions.....rather than having akira life the tru imas-p life of a billion units<3
#stardust speaking !#also cuz i think the whole mithra being scouted to be a model was ssuuuuch a good idea still#school april fools is SO silly but its so dear to my heart#I HAD MORE THOUGHTS for kait but when it approaches midnight my brain goes 💤#aughhhhh i wanted to write more things today but we shall see tmrw...if i get time earlier.......#. wait kaitlyn wouldnt this au work for minori interactions too............like canon theyre freelancing still but ?#im sure it could work out somehow........for meetings................#uuuu i wanna interact w tsukasa tooT_T i do Not think akira could handle wondershow they have way too much energy#emu is like a meow-less murr#when ure in ur tired twenties n meet the loudest teens on earth#NOT TO SAY THEY WOULDNT BE FOND OF THEEEMMM i think seeing ppl try rly hard for something they love and have fun#makes it very easy to go :] how nice. n i think that goes for akira too#especially since how mucj tje wizards loves music n dance.....#..........head in hands faust asking akira to sing twinkle twinkle little star or whayever hhAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH#im not alright but im done
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(There's no 77% on the prompt list so I'm just trowing out any number lol) 98% for Danarte and Char?
Omg why did they skip 77% specifically dndnfnfjnfg
98%. Would your character have a social media account? Do they? Why or why not? How often do they update their status? How many friends do they have?
They both have magicam as is the standard for hip and cool teens of twisted wonderland 😌 Char being a prince of…. Some place [gestures vaguely LOL] he probably has a lot more followers but also has to I guess be more careful about what he posts since he has so many eyes on him. Probably mostly just posts occasional photos of him and his friends, or fun events they host [he seems like the type to hold club fundraisers or something and then post a lot about them lol], maybe pretty pictures of food or flowers or the sky with some wistful captions lol. He might have a second private account that only trusted friends can follow where he can be a lil goofier and less polished or something!
Dañarte also has magicam. I had toyed with the idea of him trying to climb the ranks of magicam but ultimately I don’t think that plotlines really fit. I do think he would have less followers than Char though and would probably be really bitter about it LOL so maybe one of his minor goals isn’t to be magicam famous but just to get more followers than Char Specifically lol!! Probs still likes to look ✨fancy regal✨ in his pics. Posts a lot more selfies lol. I have a doodle somewhere of cater looking at one of his sparky selfies and being like 👀 there’s a shiny boy on my screen👀 jdnfnfng. I think he’d also have a second account but more like a finsta(???) where it’s anonymous and he just COMPLAINS and shit talks about everyone around him lol
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#extrasweetcoffee#asks#ocs#THANX for asking omg. it made me think a lil more about them#idc if ppl just wanna send random numbers lol that works too#🕺I wanted to doodle the boys with this answer 🕺#🧊but I’m laying on a🧊#chunk of ICE!!!!#maybe after my shower we shall see#oc: Char#oc: Dañarte#twst oc
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I just found out that my grandmother (and other family members, but finding that out hurt less) does not believe in climate change
Yesterday at dinner, my aunt was asking me about the different masters I was looking at (she's like one of the very few supportive ppl in my family, and one of the few who actually seems interested in my studies)
So I told her that I was looking at master programs regarding systems and control, and more precisely, at courses that were related to meteorology, climate, and environment. My aunt was asking me questions, it was a fun little conversation, and I got overexcited talking about weather patterns and the importance of research (I have been obsessed with weather since I was 6, and the first job I ever wanted to do was meteorologist)
And that point, my grandma turned to us and said something along the lines of "it's not real, you kids just invented it to annoy your elders"
This single sentence was like an arrow straight to the heart. Because she then went on about how ridiculous it was that climate would change, that we only had different cycles and that this was simply one of them.
Maybe I'm overreacting, but this is just the drip too much. Whenever I talk about my interests, I get shut down because "there are more important things in life than mathematics".
From the ages 6 to 12 I kept telling ppl I was going to be a meteorologist. My grandmother laughed at me every time, saying "it's cute to have dreams". Now I know she never believed that my interest were real.
Anyway, I'm off to another family meal, and I'll make sure to not mention climate, the weather, or mathematics.
#this is so annoying#like i just want ppl to actually listen about my interests#i wish my parents were there tho#cause they are always my cheerleaders#but theyre with friends (as we do every year) and they deserve the time off from family drama#normaly my aunt or uncle or cousin (again the few supportive ppl who will listen to me talk about maths and other stuff) would be there#but my cousin is leaving tomorrow at 7am to the south of france#so my aunt and her need to get ready#and my uncle needs to fix some plumbing issue#(and also he didnt want to do another meal after yesterday which i totally understand)#at least this afternoon were going to see some of my cousins and uncles/aunts#(i think some of the nice ones will be there too so ill have ppl to talk to)#or ill just stay in my corner and let the criticism come#tbh its usually not bad#or at least i dont take it badly#me and my parents have a bet going on on what criticism itll be#my mum said the short hair and the painted nails and the overall nb-ness#my dad said itll be my studies (and i think he might be right this time)#and i said it was going to be the fact that i dont have a boyfriend yet#we shall see who was correct#(i actually enjoy this weirdly enough because some of the nice ppl in my family also take is with humour so we end up laughing a lot)#but my grandmas remark still hurt a lot 😔
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#delete later#its always fascinating when i get distressed eniugh for my brain to switch off all wants and cares#like i know i care bc i am anxious. but 90% of my emotional capacity is currently non accessible and i am running on pure autopilot#its also nice to see that my autopilot has responded to the amount of work i put into it. it includes physio exercises and meals#and some self care. turns out hsving a crisis plan embedded into your brain is a good thing#sure im the most suicidal ive been in a long time but im also the most functional ive ever been and i have things to do#so everything else can wait until i have the enrgy to sort through it#ive been setting things up for more viewings and pestering ppl for things i need and taking care of ny piercing#as the stress has caused a lot of irritation and swelling so it needs extra care. i even showered today.#go me. its wild what some mental stability does. when it gives way im gonna have an interesting couple weeks but shit will be externally#more stable then so the usual things will help#it is making personal relationships more difficult though. the poor person ive been talking seriously to is flirting and i am#currently not able to access any form of romantic interest or care. previously i would have ghosted but im trying to be better#ny new friend is also getting less than i should be giving her. but i send her cute fox pictures abd that helps.#we shall see how it goes. im lying down a lot and that is helpful. my brain being like this requires a LOT of energy and i cant sleep#so its all a lot. but ill be fine#im very good at being fine with all of this. ahd much better about coming out the other side safely
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the horrible limbo of wanting to look up fandom content but only being two episodes into a show
#this is about t.ua#tbh? i like b.en and i like how hes just causing problems so far#the girl doesnt make mich sense to me lol. like. you said this guy raised you?? ik you want to get out of town but idk its a bit rash#esp for a guy you dont rly lile#anyway i imagine its possible b.en is trying to cling onto every bit of his old life that he can. or at least is trying to cope#with the loss of everything#its kinda brushed over but like his entire family is just dead. just straight up. and now hes stuck with these ppl#idk. im not very good at media analysis and im only 2 episodes in like i said#orbit reacts#tua spoilers#spoilers#do quote tags still work?#“tags have a couple spoilers so be careful”#we shall see
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Smth smth Jackie being more emotionally driven and Olivia being more logically driven smth smth
#rat rambles#oni posting#theres an essay to be wrote on this but it's like 2 am so I shall not be writing it#but yeah its funny to me that olivia was like hey you should stop overworking ppl because its driving them to make more needless mistakes#and is also just bad for their health in general and jackie responded with a strong argument of nuh uh#now this isn't to say either is strictly either as those concepts are deeply intwined and heavily influence eachother fundamentally#but its still interesting to me how like. overwhelming emotionally driven jackie is.#she has the classic strat of coming up with logical sounding excuses after the fact#but generally speaking she doesn't actually have super solid reasons to do 90% of the stuff she does even from her own morals that we see#she just does shit for the high of progress or to lash out at ppl for not doing what she wants#while olivia does ofc do stuff out of passion and for progress as well she is a lot more devoted to her internal rules for stuff#idk again its 2 am and Im tired but you get the idea maybe
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