#we play them like twice a year ALL I want is for Marcus and nick to start whaling on each other

[swayistheway]

devastated that we’re gonna be deprived of fliggy on fliggy violence today

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 3 - CBJ - Brand

Columbus was the team I wanted to win it all this past Spring. I was also sure they’d lose to one of the better teams in the cap era in the Lightning but hey, this league is whacky. I think it’s part of the charm of the NHL. That postseason performance changed the Blue Jackets brand from the charming Ohio team that never won a series to the club that knocked off Tampa in four games. It was historic and unbelievable… and then most of the players who made that happen scattered to the wins. It was the nature of how that team was constructed salary cap-wise, but it was also the end. It was the end of that new brand of Columbus Hockey, over before it even really had a chance to begin. In the aftermath of the second half collapse and the Phil Housley firing we were left wondering what the brand of Sabres hockey would be going forward. When Ralph Krueger came in he talked about “instinctual hockey” that didn’t require the self-defeating levels of thinking that seemed to paralyze the club in past years. Through two games we’ve seen just how fun that brand is, conveniently just in time for the 50th Anniversary season. That’s all well and good while the team is winning but what is the Buffalo Sabres brand of Hockey actually now with Krueger at the helm? I never played the game so I don’t want to underestimate what culture and instinct and all that stuff might have to do with it but let’s talk programmatically here: What is Sabres Hockey? What are the systems and strategy here, no matter how much freedom that form may actually give the players to be creative? I’m sure we’ll come up with a better name for it but for now I’m going to call it high-pressure hockey. The forecheck makes the opposition uncomfortable. The tight passing has made most zone entries and exits a bit smoother and the word we heard echoed over and over at Training Camp: Together, is something you can actually see unfolding watching the game. I can see the social media campaigns: “Together We Hockey!” LOL! That’s some kind of beer can motto. For now let’s call it High-Pressure Hockey. This brand was put to the test in a big way for the first time in Columbus.

The first period was the roughest we’ve seen so far from this Sabres team. The untrained eye probably still sees that same brand we talked about. But underneath you can see a frustrated Jackets team imposing their will and bad analytics. The visitors trailed in both 5 on 5 shot share and 5 on 5 scoring chances. Even though the Sabres had a slight edge in expected goals you could see Columbus was playing with some anger. The statistical battle never broke back in Buffalo’s direction, but the game did. First things first, the relentless push the Blue Jackets leveled finally broke through in the last two minutes of the first. They gave us a taste of our own medicine and ran a play real fast bouncing the puck from one side to the other to behind the net where Seth Jones forwarded the puck along to Oliver Bjorkstrand who shot tight angle right behind Linus Ullmark. In the immediate aftermath Henri Jokiharju got called for tripping and CBJ was off to their first powerplay. Cam Atkinson made the low-shooting visitors pay from another assist that originated behind Ullmark’s net. If you know me you might think that’s a gentle defense of Ullmark’s goaltending. I don’t feel the need to defend him on a night he faced 44 shots. That’s a simple stat: shots ended 44-18 for Columbus. Gross. They didn’t play their brand in the first period and Kyle Okposo said as much in the intermission. Luckily the second period looked a little bit closer to the cereal we’ve quickly come to like here in Buffalo.

The response in the second was a new thing to see. @BillTCB from the Charging Buffalo put it best: the Sabres forecheck mentality was dogs on raw meat in the second period. They were fishing pucks off of skaters and pestering really hard. Is this our new brand: High Pressure hockey? Colin Miller might be one of the reasons for this new brand. He is one of those fancy new-age offensive defenseman and yet he has the puck awareness to actually play defense as well. High pressure hockey worked for for Marcus Johansson who found himself on the receiving end of a lightning-fast Miller assist on the powerplay. Johansson dove to get his stick on it and it was the perfect tap. Goal Sabres, 2-1 just 1:32 into the second period. To say the home team tried to tamp down now would be an understatement. Perhaps they felt another comeback coming and intercepted passes left and right. They got a juicy powerplay off of a Rasmus Dahlin interference against Alex Wennberg and pelted Ullmark. Again, in spite of the eventual loss I don’t think anyone should be casting blame on Ullmark tonight. On this midgame powerplay he stops an Atkinson shot from a position of falling back on his ass. The Buffalo Sabres would’ve been blown out without Linus tonight and maybe that hurts the mentality in the room endangering the brand we’re trying to speak into existence. The Sabres kept chasing this game and somehow, from the chasing stance they evened it up. CBJ defenseman Ryan Murray recovered a puck in his defensive zone and began skating toward the neutral zone when Jeff Skinner appears like a wild animal and poke checks him, strips the puck and turns around, one-on-one with Columbus goaltender Joonas Korpisalo. He dekes a little and scores. It was a kind of strip and score I’ve never seen in years of watching professional hockey. Strip and score is a dirty combination of words, ha, it felt like a dirty good play. And so the Sabres climbed back to a 2-2 tie through forty minutes.

The third period was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt so far this season. Penalty five minutes in against Rasmus Dahlin and CBJ is back on the powerplay. There was a mad scramble in front of the Sabres net that unfolded and on the replay you can see Henri Jokiharju punch panicked at a puck in the air in front of his face. That touch puts the puck right at Nick Foligno feet and he sinks it. 3-2 Jackets 6:46 into the final frame. The next equalizer seemed elusive as all get out. I think that was in large part because the Sabres shot so little this whole game but particularly in the third period. Scoring effects didn’t seem to act on them and we find ourselves in the last three minutes seeing stoppages for faceoff calls. Frustration was mounting and this just wasn’t the way I wanted the first L to come. Fortunately that faceoff call I mentioned was against noted Blue Jacket Boone Jenner. Now, in addition to an empty net, the Sabres are on the powerplay up 6-4 in manpower. Rasmus Dahlin and Victor Olofsson were passing the puck in this situation until Olofsson decided to shoot. It went straight to the net and I let out a visceral yes that started my wife really bad. Goal, Sabres. It’s hockey season again, honey. 3-3 and we’re going to OT. Now: funny thing… haha… after getting outshot and out-chanced to hell in regulation the Sabres dominated possession in the two or so minutes of overtime. Somehow, after maybe 20 seconds of possession the whole extra frame, the Jackets won the game off an Alexandre Texier goal. This first loss of the Buffalo Sabres season was 4-3 home team. That second comeback to get to the overtime and clinch a point was what made the difference for me. A 3-2 loss would’ve not been a good first loss for me but a 4-3 loss in overtime did it for me. I’ll take that and I think we’ve had a lot of fun these first three games, so I think we all take it really.

Here’s an impressive observation: In postgame Ralph Krueger admitted some fault. He said he regretted putting Eichel out too early in OT after the Captain had just had a long shift to end regulation. In any conversation of team brand the coaching is going to come into play. Krueger admitting any kind of fault publicly is a signal to his players. Jack had to feel more than a little shite seeing that overtime loss after two comebacks. Ralph knew it and took a little bit of that weight off his shoulders. A competitive guy like Eichel will always take losses hard but that kind of move from Krueger is what gets players to buy in and play the way a coach wants them to play. I’ve been watching this club for ten years now, to whatever extent Krueger and get these guys to play his system he’ll be more successful than every coach since Lindy Ruff. The Sabres have just not been good enough for all those ten years I’ve watched, and these kinds of little victories of morale and message might be strategic to finally forming a winning brand of Sabres hockey. Or maybe I’m just making a lot out of a little in the aftermath of a whole-team loss today. I don’t know, on to Montreal at home on Wednesday!

I think if I got anything out of this game it’s that the New Sabres are going to fight back hard. For years now it was a pretty solid bet that a 2-0 deficit could be fatal for this club. Tonight it wasn’t. They came back twice and very nearly escaped with the victory. Like, comment and share this blog around. It’s a fan blog which means, win or lose, we talk the fan perspective here. What is the fan perspective? It’s getting really psyched about Ralph Krueger going to bat for Eichel in postgame like I just did for one. It’s also fun crap like biggest game against. Biggest game against will debut on Wednesday against the Habs and you’ll see it for every divisional game. I’ll recount what I think is the biggest game in Sabres history against the opponent of the night and you will respond by grilling my ass in the comments with what YOU think is the biggest game against that opponent in Sabres history. We’ll see if anyone gives a hoot at all about it Wednesday night I guess! Until then crossed fingers for more shots! There certainly weren’t enough tonight! Nonetheless, Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. I saw someone tweet what a fun playoff adversary these guys would be. I don’t know, their club culture is so lovable that I’d be hard pressed to hate these guys.

[junker-town]

4 bold predictions for the second half of the NFL season

Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Which surprising team will make the playoffs? Which team will miss them?

The Patriots will make it to the AFC title game. A quarterback will win the regular season MVP award.

These are not bold predictions. They are the -500 lines that dot the top of betting sheets. No one looking to make a “fun” wager is betting on a tried-and-true tradition or a good team remaining good. The fun bets are the 20-to-1 Hail Marys that carry a 1-4 team to the postseason or make a sixth-round pick a rookie of the year.

You know, something like the Chargers rallying to the playoffs despite half a season of self-inflicted wounds. Or Raheem Mostert catching fire and becoming the league’s rushing leader. Or the Dolphins winning multiple games.

Previously, we broke down all the preseason predictions we were most wrong about — NFL MVP Baker Mayfield, Patriots Pro Bowler Michael Bennett, the Eagles and/or Cowboys ruling the NFC, etc. But with that cathartic exercise behind us, it’s time to make some new prognostications we’ll soon disown as 2020 looms.

The Bills will win their first playoff game since 1995

Buffalo has a clear path to the postseason after a 5-2 start, but there are plenty of questions Sean McDermott’s team has to answer before it’s taken seriously as a contender. None of the Bills’ five wins have come over teams with winning records. If you remove the 4-4 Titans from that list — who were one game shy of benching Marcus Mariota for his offensive struggles — Buffalo’s slate of vanquished foes have a combined record of 3-27.

There’s also the matter of the man behind center. Josh Allen has been better in 2019 than he was as a rookie, raising his passer rating from a putrid 67.9 to a merely bad 80.4. He’s had two games where he’s accounted for multiple touchdowns and zero turnovers ... and that came against the Giants and Dolphins, who are currently in the midst of complex AAF cosplay.

In his three games against non-losing teams, he’s thrown for four touchdowns, four interceptions, and four fumbles. While his completion rate is up from 52.8 to 60.1, his catchable pass rate has actually decreased this season, even as his average throw depth has dropped by two full yards.

That’s not ideal, but there’s reason to believe a still-growing Bills team can overcome this weakness and roll on to the Divisional Round come January. Buffalo’s defense has been a monster, even if the Eagles gashed it for a season-high 31 points (in Orchard Park, no less!). Even so, the team still ranks third in the league when it comes to yards allowed per play at 4.8, behind only undefeated San Francisco and New England. Teams that rank in the top five in that metric and make it to the postseason have gone 11-9 in the playoffs over the past four years. Blake Bortles and Brock Osweiler each won playoff games behind swarming defenses.

Allen, for all his struggles, has the wheels to make the Bills dangerous enough to topple a flawed opponent — like the Ravens, Texans, or Colts, any of which they might face in a wild card matchup. He’s also flanked by a potent running game behind ageless Frank Gore and rookie Devin Singletary. They could carry the offense to just enough points, and that’d allow the Buffalo defense to push this junked-down racecar over the finish line and into the playoffs’ second weekend. — Christian D’Andrea

The Rams will miss the playoffs

Call it a hunch if you must, but I’m not seeing the Rams winning most of their remaining games. Jared Goff has been shaky at times. They play in the hardest division in the NFL this season. They’ve already dropped decisive NFC West games to the Seahawks and 49ers, and still have to play each rival again, along with the Cardinals twice.

If the playoffs started today, the Seahawks and Rams would be in, and the Rams would be out. The Rams made some big trades this season, including acquiring cornerback Jalen Ramsey — a sign that, at the very least, they’re concerned and trying to fight off third place in the division.

It’s certainly possible that the 49ers, Seahawks, and Rams all make it, but it’ll be a tough road to the postseason for Los Angeles. The Cowboys, Ravens, and Bears also remain on the schedule.

Provided Seattle and Los Angeles are battling for one spot, it comes down to strength vs. strength, at least in my mind. At that point, the conversation isn’t Russell Wilson vs. Goff, but rather Wilson vs. the Los Angeles defense.

And I’m just not ready to bet against Wilson, while Goff has shown enough uneven play for me to believe it’s certainly possible they lose games against the Bears, Ravens, Cowboys, and rematches against San Francisco and Seattle. They’re 5-3, but I could easily see a 3-5 finish to their season. And 8-8 won’t get them into the playoffs. — James Brady

The Browns will make the playoffs

We all had so much hope heading into the season that this Browns team was different. This Browns team had a real quarterback. This Browns team had a scary defense. This Browns team had Odell freakin’ Beckham. This Browns team was an actual contender.

Halfway through the season, this Browns team is 2-5 — and they look like the same old Browns. Baker Mayfield is throwing picks at a rate matched only by Jameis Winston, except Winston has more than twice as many touchdowns as Mayfield. Mayfield’s QB rating ranks 31st in the league, only higher than Cavity Sam himself, Sam Darnold.

The defense is surrendering more points than it did last year and it’s not forcing many turnovers, ranking in the bottom third of the NFL in both categories. Beckham currently has a career-low 69.7 receiving yards per game and just one measly touchdown.

The Browns are averaging more penalties per game than any other team, and their first-time head coach has absolutely no idea what he’s doing:

So false start in 4th & 11, with punt unit, Freddie pulls them puts offense out for 4th & 16. Baker sacked. Nathan Zegura just reported, #Browns deliberately false started so the offense could return to the field because Kitchens didn't want to burn final timeout. Clown show.

— Daryl Ruiter (@RuiterWrongFAN) October 27, 2019

And I don’t care. I don’t care about Mayfield getting pissy with a reporter who constantly trolls him. I don’t care that Beckham has been a disappointment so far in Cleveland. I don’t care that the Browns can’t get out of their own way and lack any discipline whatsoever.

Other than maybe the blowout loss to the 49ers, this Cleveland team still looks competitive each game. Nick Chubb has been terrific (minus the occasional fumble), leading all rushers with 105.4 running yards per game. Myles Garrett has lived up to his high expectations this season, totaling 10 sacks through seven games. The defensive line as a whole has been getting pressure on the quarterback without having to blitz much, and the secondary is starting to getting healthy again with the return of Denzel Ward and Greedy Williams.

They’ve also played one of the toughest first-half schedules, including games against the last two unbeaten teams. The second half of the season is another story: They have the NFL’s second-easiest schedule.

All the Browns need right now is that confidence boost that comes after a victory. Then it becomes easier to string togethers wins. Mayfield in particular thrives off of that energy, and I think if he and Beckham can just get a rhythm going, they’ll both find that extra gear in the last nine weeks.

Luckily, every game remaining is winnable for the Browns — their two biggest hurdles are against the Bills (who have a lower DVOA than the Browns) and the Ravens (who already lost to the Browns, in Baltimore). They have three matchups against the two teams with zero wins between them.

The Browns don’t even have to win every game to get to the playoffs. If they can go 7-2 the rest of the way, that just might be good enough in the AFC. — Sarah Hardy

The Bengals will steal the No. 1 pick from the Dolphins

Miami is trying its hardest to be the worst team in the NFL — or at least, the front office is. The roster has been gutted with key players like Laremy Tunsil, Minkah Fitzpatrick, and Kenny Stills all traded away for draft picks. The only player who represented the Dolphins in the Pro Bowl last year was cornerback Xavien Howard, and now he’s injured reserve.

And yet, in spite of the effort to tank, the Dolphins have been close to winning games. They led at halftime in each of the last two weeks, but couldn’t hold those leads to beat the Bills or Steelers. Prior to that, Miami was a two-point conversion away from beating Washington.

The Dolphins are 0-7, but a win still looks conceivable for them. It looks more likely than the 0-8 Bengals finding a victory in the back half of their schedule.

Cincinnati is going the wrong direction and just became the second team in the Super Bowl era to allow at least 460 yards in four consecutive games. The only other team do that? The 2018 Bengals.

Now the Bengals are apparently embracing their downward spiral and benching nine-year starter Andy Dalton. Fourth-round rookie Ryan Finley is taking the reins in Cincinnati where he’ll be blessed with the NFL’s worst rushing attack that averages 3.2 yards per carry and a defense that can’t stop anyone. Good luck!

If neither the Dolphins nor the Bengals can win beforehand, the owner of the No. 1 pick in the 2020 NFL Draft will almost certainly be decided on Dec. 22. The Bengals will travel to Miami in the pillow fight of the season. My guess, though, is that the Dolphins will win before that Week 16 tank collision and then hammer the nail in the coffin by pushing the Bengals one step closer to an 0-16 season — and having dibs on the first quarterback in the draft. — Adam Stites

[romancevsreality-blog]

bachelor in paradise, season five, episode one: do not trust anyone with a permanent smile on their face

I can’t believe we’re back here again.

By “back here”, I mean literally sitting in my bed, drinking an enormous iced coffee, and wondering where we all went wrong in life. And by “back here”, I mean Fuck Island: The Battle For Social Humiliation. Hi, I’m Amanda, the lead blogger and the laziest person on the face of the earth, back again, two weeks late, recapping the fifth season of Bachelor in Paradise, the actual worst show on television.

Up until last year, I firmly fell into the opposite camp - I thought Bachelor in Paradise deserved a god damn Peabody Award for The Audacity Of Being On Television. But after the Corinne and Demario crash-and-burn-and-pay-them-to-keep-quiet1 of 2017, the show kind of left a gross taste in my mouth. And following the Defense Against Criticism of Racist and Sexist Behavior, or the most recent season of The Bachelorette, I’m losing hope in humanity. It wasn’t fun to talk about anymore, it just made me angry.

I still hate these people, but now I want to slam my keyboard again and remind them what the fuck is up. So welcome back to Fuck Island, Y'all!

The episode opens with reminding us of Jade And Tanner, The Golden Couple Who Got Engaged Two Years Ago In Paradise And Married On TV Early Last Year and Then Had A Baby, Remember Them? as well as the new Paradise SuperCouple, Evan And Carly, The Golden Couple Who Got Engaged Last Year In Paradise And Married On TV Last Year and Then Had A Baby Too, Remember Them? They’re determined to make us forget Marcus and Lacy, too, because their marriage was a sham and apparently Lacy straight up ghosted Marcus, but also, that story is still hilarious.

Oh, Marcus. Marcus should come back on Paradise and get his Nick Viall edit.

So let’s go over the opening credits, shall we?

They’re still using the poor cover of “Almost Paradise” because someone on this series refuses to buy the real version -this show has a budget of $100. We get shots of the guys in the water, people on speedboats, people making out, all the girls running in their bathing suits… and first up is Jordan, laying on his side like a washed-up beach whale struggling to breathe. Kendall is looking at what is her best option for a romantic partner, the skull of a bull. I don’t know who Angela is. Eric dances like he’s your favorite cousin at your great aunt’s 88th birthday party. Chris is not even worth acknowledging because he’s awful and I wish the wave that washed over him drowned him. They put Tia in a red, white, and blue bathing suit because she thinks she’s America’s sweetheart. These people could write a book on subtlety. Krystal throws... glitter? Kevin leans into that “sexy firefighter” thing, an occupation I have never found to be sexually appealing. Can someone in the comments explain why there are “sexy firefighters” and not like, “sexy restaurant managers”? Bibiana has a new haircut and drops a mic because we love unexplained jokes that only make sense later on in the episode when we see the source. MY BOYFRIEND WILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid holds up some melons and I love her bathing suit so I will refrain from calling her Astird for now. Grocery Store Joe can straight up get it. Nysha looks like my friend Rae’s sister and clearly is too good for this show. David’s clearly recovered from his Bachelorette season injury but he just looks untrustworthy. Annaliese, who no one remembers, is freaking out about a bird? KENNY who we don’t deserve does an amazing backflip and Chelsea holds a glass. Nick, who I am strangely attracted to, particularly in that track suit because he reminds me of Jeremy Renner is a weird melted down kind of way, shows us what’s under that track suit and damn. DAAAAAMN, Waxy Jeremy Renner. And then finally, Venmo John counts his pesos and god, I love him.

Oh, and my Ex-Boyfriend Wills and Mortal Enemy, Chris Harrison are in Sayulita, too. Mexico, I am so sorry.

Chris Harrison pretends like he’s setting up the island area where these contestants are going to be hanging out. Chris Harrison doesn’t know how to hold a rake, let alone operate one, and why is he raking sand?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! I am most uncomfortable with seeing Chris Harrison barefoot. That feels far too intimate from a man I despise. Anyway, they’re going to remind us of who these people are.

First up is Kendall, the Not Like the Other Girls Girl from Arby’s season. Kendall is different! She likes dead stuff and the most annoying instrument[^2] and loves posing on the beach in a bikini. Next is Kenny, who’s still hurting from his breakup with Rachel. We get to see McKenzie, his 11-year-old daughter, and I’m FULL OF EMOTIONS. Kevin Is Canadian and immediately reveals that Ashley I cheated on him with Jared. I love that. Throw that shade, Canadian Kevin. Krystal is also back, and she wants the world to know that she’s a good cook, including able to frost an angel food cake. Chris is back and he’s totally trying to Josh Murray himself and redeem his image from Becca’s season. Oh, Chris. You’re on the wrong show for that. He calls himself The Goose, and I already know that’s the “do the damn thing” of this season.

[^2] I will fight anyone on the ukelele being an annoying instrument. I get it, it’s cultural, but it’s unfortunately been appropriated by a certain sect of people and I’m annoyed by THAT mostly. Why can’t they just play the banjo? Or the trombone?

Speaking of birds, David the Chicken who doesn’t like avocados is back with his long-ass eyebrows. He lives at home in Boca Raton with his mom, because David is a catch. Unfortunately, he can’t marry his mom, but he’s coming to paradise to come after Jordan. Jordan’s got a full arsenal of looks to wear and roasting of Chicken David to do in Paradise. Annaliese is remembered for her bumper car trauma and fear of dogs and pretty much everything. She’s afraid of redheads, sand, sombreros, birds, large bodies of water, so... an island in Mexico is perfect for her. My Queen Bibiana is there for her third Bachelor series in six months and she’s just ready for all bikinis and hoping her ass slaughters al the men. Me too, Bibi. I love you. My Boyfriend Wills also shows us his sartorial choices of the season, and he’s ready to loosen up. Have his eyes always been that green? God. He’s like Smoky Robinson.

Ugh, Tia. Tia gets the longest of the opening montages because they want to torture us all. The only thing I like about Tia is that fact that TIa is thirsty as hell and not afraid to show her disappointment. Openly sad about Becca as The Bachelorette. Coming in twice to piss on Colton’s leg on The Bachelorette. Saying “I’m only here for Colton.” Tia is obvious about what it is she wants and we hate her for it. Because she’s thirsty.

Alright, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, welcome to Fuck Island, where the people are heading in. The first in is Tia, who is like MY JOURNEY MY JOURNEY MY JOURNEY!!!! This is her chance to pretend she’s The Bachelorette. She’s the first person to arrive and her new fake boobs are on display. She’s like, “the person who comes down the stairs could be my partner,” and the next person is Eric, who looks like a mascot. Kendall arrives “open to love” because Kendall isn’t like the other girls.

Next down is Jordan, clearly long enough for the three of them to get drinks. Jordan’s happy to be in a place as beautiful as he is. Tia makes mention of Jordan’s villain edit on his season and Jordan’s like, “sometimes it’s best to know someone before judging them.” Bibi comes down and makes a joke to Chris Harrison about the bumpy road to Paradise and how much her uterus hurts. It’s not a great joke. Is it a joke? Yes. Bibiana arrives as a flamboyant ball of fire and I love her. Jordan and Bibi have something, but Bibi is waiting for the real sign of a good guy. It's never coming, Bibi. Men are trash.

God, Grocery Store Joe, my mumble-mouthed handsome Chicago man, arrives ready to fall in love and doesn’t want to get home straight away again. That’s his main goal. Next is in My Boyfriend Wills, who immediately comes face to face with My Ex-Boyfriend Wells, who managed to maintain his job as bartender despite not knowing how to bartend. How White Man of him. No wonder we broke up. Chelsea comes in, looking pretty much just like Krystal, and all the guys jump on her. Chelsea is a hot mom. Kendall and GroStoJoe talk about picnics, and Joe’s like, “I’m not a picnic kind of person,” while Kendall is like “I like to have picnics in graveyards.” Kendall asks if Joe has ever seen a dead person, and it’s all... yeah. Stop it, Kendall.

Chris, my worst nightmare, shows up in some salmon pink shorts and I’m gagging. All the contestants are waiting to see who’s arriving next, and they all hope it’s not Krystal. Particularly Tia and Bibiana, who both say she’s a bad person. Krystal arrives and the dramatic music starts. Welcome to paradise, Y'all. Krystal talks about the stress of The Bachelor on her, but she can recognize that Chris shares part of her name. Tia is literally like “I’m happy she’s here, but I want to kill her.” Krystal has some bass in her voice and is speaking like a normal person, not with that weird lilt to her she was pulling off all Arby’s season. Kendall’s worried someone’s going to be interested in both her and Krystal and so of course, Joe goes after Krystal first.

Canadian Kevin, Waxy Jeremy Renner, and Venmo John all arrive. Of course, Kendall is about John because “I’m a sucker for nerds.” Kendall really isn’t like the other girls. Nysha, one of the girls from Arby’s season who we barely knew arrives, and so does Angela, whoever the hell Angela is. Who is Angela? Angela is gorgeous but man, I have no idea who she is. Our Favorite Dad Kenny arrives and McKenzie refuses to let him come back if he doesn’t have someone. I love this show. Kenny is talking to Nysha, but Astird walks in and I already know I’m going to get her and Angela confused.

Tia keeps looking over everyone’s shoulders in hopes that Colton is coming down the stairs. She thinks she’s being slick about it, but everyone notices and it’s hilarious. Annaliese comes down in her Romwe romper and Jordan immediately tells her he’s interested, attracted, and he’s known for being arrogant form his season. David arrives and Jordan immediately freezes up. Someone calls out “Jordan, David’s here!” and they’re expecting drama to go down between them. It doesn’t, Jordan and David have a handshake and David walks away. It’s just awkward. Tia’s bummed that David’s the last entry and Colton, in fact, will not be arriving that day. Everyone’s like “MOVE ON TIA” and Tia’s conflicted on what she wants out of Colton, it seems.

Chris Harrison comes in and tells them the rules - there are more women than men this week, and the guys aren’t safe this week. They need to pair up ASAP or else they won’t get the chance to be the next Jade And Tanner, The Golden Couple Who Got Engaged Two Years Ago In Paradise And Married On TV Early Last Year and Then Had A Baby, Remember Them? or Evan And Carly, The Golden Couple Who Got Engaged Last Year In Paradise And Married On TV Last Year and Then Had A Baby Too, Remember Them?

The girls are ecstatic that they have control, except Tia. Tia’s mad she’s going to have to talk to someone other than Colton, even though she’s safe that week. God, I hate her. Joe and Tia sit down and Joe’s getting his flirt on and getting his camera time. He’s making up for lost time, apparently. Colton immediately comes up and you can tell Joe barely remembers Colton. But Tia talks about how she had a “relationship” with Colton before his time on Becca’s season of La Bachelorette and they haven’t spoken since. Joe would want to give his date card to Tia, but he can tell Tia’s not over Colton.

Colton, Colton, Colton.

Tia, the only person who didn’t want a date card, gets a date card. The producers want to torture her. She actually yells “NO!!!” when her name is on the card, and I agree with Bibiana - she needs to be open to her options and she’s super upset at the idea. She literally said “I came here o find something serious and lasting with Colton,” a guy she went on two dates with once a few months ago. This is such alarming behavior. Everyone’s upset by Tia but they’re all pretending it’s okay.

Tia really confirms her trash taste by choosing Chris for her date card.

Joe’s like, “I’m disappointed,” but everyone is like “dude, bullet dodged.” Krystal is thrilled Joe wasn’t picked by Joe until Joe takes Kendall aside for some private time. Kendall and Joe are cute and talk about storms and they like each other and make out on one of the day beds. Kendall’s mom warned her about making out on one of the day beds, and here we are day one!!!!! Krystal, meanwhile, is just baffled by the entire idea of Joe and Kendall. Joe isn’t the guy for her, it’s confirmed.

So it’s nighttime, and we have a few connections already made - Joe and Kendall, Annaliese and Venmo John, and David thinks Angela is in his league2. But that’s it - a few people have been left behind and ignored, and we see a great awkward conversation between Nysha and Jordan. In the wake of Joe and Kendall hooking up, Krystal’s interested in Kevin, who isn’t nearly as hot everyone wants us to think. He looks like a rough draft of a person. They both talk about how hot the other is and they make out on another of the day beds. Gross3.

Chelsea, one of the most beautiful women this franchise has ever had, is on the couch with Wax Jeremy Renner, and he’s way into her. He doesn’t care that she’s a mom, he’s super into that and thinks he’d make a great role model. He’s super attracted to Chelsea, too and continues to be like “man, I would make out with you if you wanted to,” but she starts feeling sick. Chelsea is my queen. The other contestants talk about Tia and Chris’s date and how it’s unfair because Tia has unfinished business with a guy who’s not even there. Astird is correct in saying Tia probably should have given her date card away rather than go out with someone she was only interested in until someone else comes in.

As if Tia would ever give up the chance to be on camera.

Tia and Chris sit down to dinner that they’re not really going to eat, and Chris is shocked he’s even out with Tia. Tia brings up Colton first, and basically says “I’m here because I want to be here with you.” Chris is thrilled and is in Paradise to hang out with people he wouldn’t necessarily hang around. They both want to leave Paradise with a real relationship. They continue to cut back to the villa, where My Boyfriend Wills and Astird both think that Chris and Tia will have a fun date, even if it is a platonic one. But it doesn’t matter, because they both make out while fireworks go off!

Tia’s like “Colton Who?” Which is such a mature response and a clear indicator of where her mind is?

The next morning, Tia and Chris are all lovey-dovey and kissing, and everyone’s excited for them, which is why Colton’s arriving now. Production needs to take a class in subtlety because they even add the “thunder crashing” and “ominous clouds” videos, even though it’s gorgeous when Chris Harrison talks to Colton, who you know not to trust because he is permanently smiling. Colton tells Chris Harrison he’s not there just for Tia, but his world is open. He has a date card (barf). Colton arrives and immediately Chris is set off course and Tia is smiling like the Cheshire fucking cat. She can’t even pretend not to be over the moon. She fully expects Colton’s date card to go to her an- Colton takes Kendall aside first. Everyone’s like “him not grabbing Tia is a signal.” Kendall tells Tia and gets the deets, and everyone thinks it’s awkward to not grab Tia first. Chris, meanwhile, is spiraling, and he’s terrified Tia is going to go out with Colton.

I mean, Tia’s going to go out with Colton. That was written in First Corinthians. Poor Angela, though. I mean that in the “it hurts now but you dodged a bullet” way.

Chelsea, Nysha, and Angela are all hoping that this date will at least come out with some solid “yes-or-no” on the Tia and Colton situation. Jordan says this is Chris’s Vietnam. It’s a weak metaphor. Astrid and Wax Jeremy Renner HATE Colton. Wax Jeremy Renner calls Colton a “fame chaser”, and Astird thinks that Colton just likes having Tia on the back burner in case something else doesn’t turn out. Fuck Colton.

Tia and Colton talk about their first date from six months ago, where they basically spent a weekend together. Like, two dates. That’s it. Tia’s hoping they can recreate that weekend in Paradise, but this is an extra AF reaction for TWO dates. Chelsea also hates Colton, because he can’t figure it out - is he there to date Tia and fuck the “I’m open to everyone here” idea, or is be big enough of a dick to date other girls in front of Tia? Either way, he looks like a dick. Colton brings up what Tia did to make Becca send Colton home, and Colton is still pissed. Like, he’s trying to pretend like he’s not, but he’s still super mad because apparently he was in love with Becca and Tia got in the way of that.3 Tia is sorry if he feels like he missed out, but she didn’t want to miss out on her opportunity to get a chance to be with him. Colton doesn’t know what’s there or what could be there with Tia, but he mostly just wants to be on television. Tia wants to know if he feels like there’s something possible between them because she can’t get him out of her head. Colton gives the most nothingburger answer, like “I don’t know, I want to be fair to everyone, I’m not closing the door on this, I’m here to figure out my stuff and be on tv and hopefully become The Bachelor.” Tia doesn’t take this as “Okay, let’s both play the field” like Colton probably intended it to, she just thinks that’ll make him try harder. They go out on a speedboat and then they have a make-out session.

Tia talks on and on about her feelings for Colton, and we never once hear from him. I know that’s on purpose. What Colton is doing is dangerous, and really shouldn’t happen. Just tell someone you’re not interested. That’s it. Back at the villa, Jordan, Chris, and Wax Jeremy Renner are plotting to confront Colton. They all know he’s there to be on television and he isn’t interested in Tia. Kendall and Joe can’t be bothered and don’t understand why they’re bothered, either. The guys are white knighting Tia and they’re hoping they’re going to get to confront him. The two of them have a scarlet letter on them, and they both need to come to terms with it because they’re killing the vibe in paradise.

To be continued...

Next Time: The greatest summer in Bachelor History! Everyone is making out with everyone! Krystal is in love! Hot people on the beach! YUUUKIIIIIIIIIIII1!! Ugh, Leo vs. Joe? Clearly, I’m on one side over the other. Jenna ignites the feud between Jordan and David. Ugh, gross, that gross guy Kamil. Oh my god, Shushanna is back?! Shushanna “Shut up 5s, a 10 is speaking” Russian girl has been accused of being a witch, so I already am on her team. Colton tears. Eye roll. Tia tears. I don’t care. Ben Higgins yells about being unlovable, and gross, Arby is there. ROBB(IE???) WHY???? All of the Bachelor and Paradise alums we don’t care about! Tears!

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Okay, this is the best collective group of Paradise alums we’ve had since the first one. Fight me. It’s a bunch of nothing contestants plus a few notable ones.

I love Bibiana and I love Chelsea and I love Astrid. They all else can go in the garbage.

I don’t know if I can handle six weeks of Colton talk and sociopath smiles.

... I really hate those braids on My Boyfriend Wills. Sorry, Wills.

I’m already adorning my tin foil hat here, but Y'all can’t tell me Corinne and Demario didn’t accept a hefty settlement in exchange for The Powers That Be to do whatever they want. ↩︎

David really is a permanent wingman and that is not a compliment. ↩︎

Or, really, Tia was brought in by production to give Becca an excuse to eliminate Colton before Fantasy Suites so she wouldn’t get screamed at by America for eliminating the virgin in the Fanty Sweets. Tinfoil hats abound over here. ↩︎ ↩︎

[chiburkie]

Here it is the 3rd day of a new year, 2017. 2 pages of this first chapter of this new year, have been completed. In my time zone......have a little over 8 hours before the day is complete here where I am.

Was going back over past posts and came across this one....which I did in July of last year...and well, felt like I should add to it......since there were a few more things that I noticed or someone shared with me.

I have seen people asking who still believes RK are still together or something like that. And well, since 2013, I have gathered things that I have noticed........that I believe, that yes, they are still together......and I respect anyone who thinks differently. 

So...here is what is a list of what I have noticed....somewhere along the way I may have missed something, I don’t stay on twitter & such all day.....I have a life and it does get rather busy or full of things that need my attention more then hanging out on the internet.

2013  

This starts when she leaves her road trip & heads back to LA when James G. passed & she wore Rob’s sweatshirt home.There is that pic of her in the airport.  Red Truck pic with the ping pong table. Then there was that party at Rob’s old house…..for Nick J. There is a pic of Sia & she is right behind her with her back to the camera. They were spotted in Echo Park & a convenience store during the launch of Rob’s Dior campaign. And when their friends had that dessert party with the stuff thrown down the center….Rob was there….his cracked phone was sitting right out on the table…..K leaves for Paris FW wearing that  new ring…..Rob is with K’s friends at a Beyonce concert….then gets a van with them when leav  Comes back….he is filming MTTS she is filming COSM He is on set with her….as we got those weird pics……he is sitting in the back of the SUV when they leave.and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she had visited him on the set of MTTS             When CXR is done….there is a few days……heads out to film COSM…….she has ROB’s guitar case with her…��Suize, Jack, Nettie, Nettie’s bf, Micheala….even Marcus’ gf…..joined her on & off the set…..ate lunch or dinner with her…..

Rob was at that wedding with Kristen/Suzie/Jack in London during COSM filming Then we get pics of her visiting a pumpkin patch….they have a pumpkin cutting contest of sorts and one of them carves a baby on theirs. Leaving in separate trucks from the Summit neighborhood.  She filmed Anesthesia in Nov at Columbia University……Then we see her at that Dallas Chanel show with Dakota.They spend Christmas in London….NYE in NY….Rob is spotted with Dakota……

2014                                                                                                                     CXR goes to Sundance FF……we later find out that Rob was there with her.Pic of R with those 2 guys……that they said K took.  K eats at the same place R took his British friends…..wearing the Irie t-shirt      Rob is filming Life in Canada…….She goes to NY to film SA……we got that video that was pulled……told others would be fined if they showed it…….Rob was there with her in that video.     Sometime in April/May we get a pic of RK on the set of SA heading towards a cab               K Says Brewery Hotel is her fave (even after she’s been to Paris)                     We get a random sort vine video that has been shortened……with her holding her hand up & talking about kissing at work v home saying"Me & Rob.“  

A fan asked Ruth on Ruth’s IG, May of 2014 if RK were ok and together and Ruth favored it, in response. Peter greeting Rob happy Father’s Day  2 girls spotted them in Pali house. She films AU She goes to the Met Gala with Riley. after-party wears an old holey shirt of Rob’s.Both go to Cannes She goes to PFF week again….gets back….4th of July with R at AG’s party Aug/Sept heads to Japan to film Equals……yes Rob visits a few times     Kristen, while is Asia, filing Equals, wore socks with Heineken on them, one of R’s favorite beers.                                                                                                 K Wears his watch during an after party & on the way home……There was some kind of screening with Drake……director from Equals….some pic showed up…they are both there sitting next to each other.  (don’t know where the pic is….but it is out there somewhere.  Nov they are BOTH at that awards show….and disappear after she gives JM her award…..two people saw THEM together backstage…..Rob does a virtual autograph for someone on twitter that has an avi of K but LOVES RK!!!!           At some Thanksgiving thing……as we get a pic of R…..then Suzie with the same chap   They spend time in London, NY, Hawaii………. courtesy of the numb nuts….we get a video of R in a store with his mum & one of his sisters….in the CHlIDREN’s section of said store.

2015  

K does a interview on the Today Show…….stays at the same place as Tom & Sienna Alannah did a shout out in January, on Twitter for an art show Nettie was to have in Los Angeles that started on the weekend of the 17th.Kristen was away in NYC, promoting SA, at the time of Alannah’s tweet, but came home, and on Jan. 19th pics came out of her,with Nettie, Alicia, etc. on the beach in Malibu…Wears R’s blue & black shirt at Riley’s bachlorette weekend thing  Wears R’s jungle sweatshirt with No Problem cap  She wear’s R’s tie in a video thing for the Oscar Rob on the beach with Cole…the day K has a photo shoot on the same beach. He has a Dior photo shoot & we get that one pic where she is in the background.     There is a memorial & K wears his Dior pants to it. K has worn that black & red plaid shirt at least 2 times…..                     Guy Pearce’s podcast where he says  "They’re still mates.”                                 Sam Smith Concert where R’s cousin was with her during it.                             Marcus is hanging with Gina & she makes a video for IG of him playing the piano & you here Rob laughing in the background.                                           Coachella #his&hers   She happens to wear a snapcap…with COAL on it…..not from the movie…..but still…. She does a podcast interview….tells the interviewer about days on the set….“were long, full, pregnant.                             “Talks about filming the sex scene in BD2…..says "me & Rob”……wanting it to be good. Nettie was visiting the 2nd weekend of Coachella….was with them there.

She did an interview with Harper’s Bazaar (where the Chanel photo shoot took place in Feb the same day we get Rob & Cole on that same beach) She talks about being comfortable with staying home………………..which goes along with something Rob said in a video interview about what he does because of be well known in public…..he says, “We” say in a lot.

K mentions the dogs a lot….all THREE of them…..which is shared with Rob.

There is a pic that comes out in June, but it was taken back in Nov of 2014…has Rob, Sam, and K in it.

A fan took a pic of R & of K..posted them at different times…but they were there the same day…..as K took the one of R & the fan….her face is in R’s sunglasses.

While filming CS in NY, she wears R’s shoes two times.

There is a person who has painted a pic of K like two times…on one of them, Rob’s name is on the canvas with K’s pic.

While K was at PFW, R had his pic taken by like 4 different fans…..to show he too was in Paris at the very same time.

R’s guitar case once again made a trip with K….at least 2 times.

2016

K has worn R’s clothes at different times so far this year. Jeans, shirts, jackets, and his shoes.

R was photographed by Karl from Chanel for a Dior ad not once but twice.

K wore a different R sweatshirt.

4th of July….there are a few pics & videos….and on one R can be heard giggling in the back ground.

In July, K wore a blue ballcap that is R’s.

She wore Welcome to the Jungle sweatshirt the night of R’s LCOZ premiere at the NYFF.

R was at CJ’s bday party.

Both ended up with very dark hair!!! 

And then there is this little nugget.....

Have been called many names or brain-washed by HKN.....uh, no. Like I said, you have the right to agree to disagree with me. And, I will not debate or argue with anyone about this in dms or out on twitter. I am firm in where I stand. It really doesn’t matter what you think of me, I am strong in what I believe and where I stand. That is because I tend to............ 

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Smith’s crisp, Root buried

WHAT a wonderful time of year for crap weather? 

Footy has three weeks left with a lot still on the line and the Ashes is entrenched in prime time for the next four weeks.

Work from home, charge your phone only so you can use Menulog and just remember to rotate your couch cushions after each test match – no-one wants a sofa with permanent bum indentations, it’s unsightly.

 1.       We’ll get to the Ashes soon enough, but let’s cover off the air conveyance. And how the Swans were dudded. Well maybe not super much as they’re not making the finals any which way, but maybe Richmond or Brisbane, perhaps Collingwood or Essendon, by the massive missed free kick on Sam Reid in the dying seconds. The Giants lose that and their stranglehold on a double chance goes. Only one mistake, lets not crucify the umpire, but gee for ramifications it’s a doozy.

2.       Brisbane, looked like the Scraggers were some go for a while there last Sunday twilight, but once again those Lions chalked up another win and how bout their flag credentials they say? Yeah still not for me. They have the Gold Coast this week, wow, another game against a bottom ten team, and in Queensland. This team is in form, no doubt, but the validity of that form does not befit the record they have. It might be enough to win them some finals, sure, but this is not a premiership team.

3.       The Lions have had no injures, and have a league-high ten players who have played every game so far. Consistency at the selection table compared with teams like Richmond and Collingwood who have had periods without such luxuries, has been worth a win or two in itself for Brisbane, no question.

4.       Yeah, so Geelong. The record since the bye, for the position on the ladder they were in going into their week off, has to be amongst the worst in the comp relatively speaking. So when is a slump actually reflective of where you’re at? No-one would give them a show in a final against Richmond, so would need to somehow avoid them with GMHBA finals against interstate fodder and hope for a good run. For a team on top, 14-5 and 130%. Remarkable.

5.       Gold Coast, my Lord, this is supposed to be a team ten years past putting out teams not up to standard. At least back then it was ok, they were on the L plates, you knew they’d be super rubbish but it was all part of finding their feet. Now they’re just a middle-aged moron on the roads and you can’t give them an out for their shit driving, to maintain the metaphor. Remember, they lose their last three games, this season will equal their bad years of 2011 and 2012.

6.       Looks like we might be set for one South Australian team to finish eighth but without room for both. The Power’s upset over the Dons last Saturday probably gives them the advantage to take the final spot looking three weeks ahead, and at their cross-town rival’s expense. And if that’s the case, given the lopsided Showdown a few weeks ago, that eventuality probably seems about right.

7.       We haven’t had a draw yet, usually we’re good for one or two, other than 2016 we have always had a least one since 2014…. I didn’t say that all these thoughts had to be interesting, but at least this one is accurate.

8.       Blake Caracella to Essendon, that’s one or both of two things. Firstly, Caracella is a genius, his first year with Richmond was 2017, and look what happened to that coaching box, went from sackable to winning flags. So great bit of IP for the Bombers braintrust there. But also, could it be a little bit of what St Kilda did with Ratten last summer. If, and it’s a big “if”, you’re looking at reviewing your senior coach, why not get a talented assistant in early so such a replacement might already be under your roof. Almost like a succession plan, but unofficially.

9.       Adam Treloar was gutsy on Tuesday, just plain gutsy. Didn’t need to talk about his battles, and on such a public forum. But whilst it may have been therapeutic for him, the good it could do for so many other young men to accept, nor no longer dismiss, their struggles as human and to find ways to manage their wellbeing, was fantastic. Having a great year this year, and that’s not just on the field where he is looming large for the Copeland Trophy, but seemingly away from the field as well. Important stuff, won’t back down on that anytime soon. Keep talking.

10.   Some kudos to pot belly Jay Z Clark, who penned a very good angle on the Rising Star for 2019. Sam Walsh looks a runaway winner now, even myself a self-confessed Connor Rozee admirer acknowledges the Blue’s midfielder has it. But Clark points out that the Hawks’ James Worpel is only narrowly ineligible for this year’s award, and had he had played one fewer game in 2018 he’d be right in the frame for the gong this year. And it’s a good yarn, Worpel is having such an under the radar year, we know about Mitchell and O’Meara, but the kid from Bannockburn is a serious 200-plus games midfielder in the making.

11.   The Joe Daniher/Tom Harley thing stank a bit. It’s all come out now that its fine and nothing to see here, but yeah even so, it just stinks a bit. I know we’re all allowed to have mates and more often than not its nothing more than what it is, but sometimes when it looks a bit off it probably is. He isn’t leaving Essendon, but he ain’t as happy at Tullamarine as he could be, is my guess.

12.   Only one game, his first since Round 15, which was his first since Round 11, but 29 touches and five tackles for Bryce Gibbs on Saturday. He’ll be 31 at the start of next season, and who knows whether the Crows think they can get close again soon enough whilst the ex-Blue has something to offer, but clearly there’s still some value in him yet. This year has been strange but the game certainly hasn’t gone past him. Could be cheap if indeed Gibbs looks for a third club too, good value.

13.   Righto, some cricket. Steve Smith, well bugger me. 12 months out. We all saw that press conference at Sydney airport, that was a human being utterly broken. Not just an emotional guy but a sensitive sportsman, often had sleepless nights as captain such was the toll cricket had on him mentally. But to come out and hit 140 twice in the same match, first up, like seriously what the hell? Best since Bradman chatter can continue in the pub and that’s fine, but that was one of the most impressive batting displays you’ll ever be likely to see.

14.   So they’re coming for Cam Bancroft. I don’t buy it yet. Dave Warner did just as little, and sure, has the career to back up quite a few more chances, but unless you’re adamant Marcus Harris does any different you’re backing in the decision to go with Bancroft. Further, don’t forget the last red-ball hit out before the first test he looked a cut above anyone else, and that it is properly trying facing English quicks, in England, with a brand spanking new Duke. Not easy. He has another two tests for mine to get past 50, and I’m sure in four innings he can manage that.

15.   So the bowlers. Cummins is our best quick, he always plays, take him out of the dilemma. With a deck a little green, Pattinson was a great choice, and whilst he didn’t take a ton of wickets, he was only ever going to be a threat in the first innings and he did that. Siddle too, really impressive, I think he goes again at Lord’s. So Starc might get a look for Pattinson in the second test, but then third or fourth test, if we saw Hazlewood, it wouldn’t shock. Don’t think of the guys missing out as being dumped or dropped, think of our bowling options like your spice rack at home, and each test is like a different cuisine, requiring different flavour combinations.

16.   As for England, yep that top order stinks. And no matter how good a Bairstow or Stokes might be, any quality middle-order batsman will feel the pinch when they’re walking out at 3/30. And Rory Burns, nah, that’s the flukiest ton you’ll ever see. He isn’t quality. So unless someone pops outta County Cricket between now and breakfast, that’s a problem that will only continue to plague them throughout the series.

17.   And bowling, Jimmy Anderson wont play at least a couple more, for mine he is a ‘maybe, just maybe’ if its say 2-2 heading into the Oval. Otherwise nup. So in essence, get past Stuart Broad and that’s about it. Sure, Joffra Archer will play and look scary, but so is facing Shaun Tait, and look at how that Test career went. Great with the white pill, but in five-day cricket, let’s see.

18.   So Ben Simmons. The initial drawcard piece for the Australia-Team USA blockbuster. But to be honest he never was going to play. Its why the NHL doesn’t send players to the Winter Olympics, its why we don’t have State of Origin anymore in AFL and why it wouldn’t shock me to see proper NBA stars start forgoing Dream Team duties at Summer Olympics. But then he gets a squillion tax-payer dollars to promote Victoria whilst he is here, back home in the off-season. Can’t play basketball but can take a cheque for being here besides. Not great Ben, I do kinda get it, but its not great.

19.   As for Aussies to get behind, how did Nick Kyrgios get a mention so low down? Seriously, the tennis and personality he brought to the Washington Open was magnificent. Clearly a loose cannon, but when he is good, be it his on court form or his professionalism alongside it, he is very, very good. If your dog at home was the world’s best companion, but occasionally barked way too much and played up, would you keep it and work on those bad habits, or put it up for adoption? Kyrgios may never fulfill perfection, but I tell you what, there’s only five or so better chances for the US Open later this month. Don’t. Be. Surprised.

20.   And Fraser Anning has this month filed for bankruptcy. Nothing else to add, but worth a mention.

[thornburgrealty]

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Sorting the Playoff Pile: Here is how the Jags can beat Pats in AFC Championship

Let’s play a sport. I will identify 4 issues and also you inform me which one does not belong. Tom Brady, Nick Foles, Blake Bortles and Case Keenum. Wait, sorry, I did that fallacious. There are three issues that do not belong, as a result of Brady is the one man who ought to be on this group of 4, the G.O.A.T. amid an inventory of men you would not wish to belief in a Tremendous Bowl or a playoff sport. Brady has the identical variety of Tremendous Bowl rings (5) as the opposite three guys on this listing have playoff begins … mixed. 

Having stated all that, it should not be shocking if somebody apart from Brady is hoisting the Lombardi Trophy when all is claimed and completed. The items round these guys are excellent and, as we realized throughout the Divisional Spherical, possibly it is OK to belief Foles, Bortles and Keenum in spite of everything. 

Extra on Keenum and Foles under (together with extra awards from the weekend that was within the NFL), however for now let’s discuss Bortles. As a result of he was GOOD. Blake Bortles was good in a playoff setting. Per week after wanting misplaced within the wind at dwelling towards the Payments, Bortles became Bane and, for the second time this season, (metaphorically) blew up Heinz Discipline. The Jaguars adopted the script completely, letting Bortles throw early. It constructed his confidence and when Jacksonville wanted him in massive spots, he stepped up and transformed some enormous third downs. 

Bortles bought assist, for positive. Leonard Fournette regarded like early-season Fournette for the primary half of this sport, till an ankle harm slowed him. T.J. Yeldon made some enormous performs, particularly within the passing sport. Nathaniel Hackett ran circles across the Steelers defensive coaches. Younger defensive gamers for Jacksonville did what they’ve did all season and made performs: Myles Jack’s interception on the sideline was wideout-level and the strip sack from Yannick Ngakoue that led to a Telvin Smith scoop-and-score helped to increase the Jaguars lead early when the Steelers have been urgent to make a comeback.

The Jags are a brash younger group of proficient gamers and so they consider they’ll win the Tremendous Bowl. Simply ask budding famous person Jalen Ramsey, who let a crowd gathered at Everbank Discipline (after the workforce got here again from Pittsburgh!) know simply how they really feel.

There’s zero chill with this workforce and it is pretty. So, um, can they win the Tremendous Bowl? Certain! Why not? Effectively the reply was truly earlier, within the type of Brady. The Jaguars subsequent problem is available in Foxborough, the place they are going to be 9-point underdogs towards the mighty Patriots. 

Lots of people snicker on the thought of Brady enjoying Marcus Mariota, Bortles and both Keenum or Foles to win a Tremendous Bowl, irritated on the biggest dynasty in trendy NFL historical past getting a stroll within the park towards some questionable quarterbacks. The Jags did the Pats a favor by upsetting the Steelers, as a result of the Pats will steamroll the Jags. 

I am not so positive. Jacksonville has the our bodies and the expertise to win, even when strolling into New England is nearly probably the most tough activity within the NFL. However I’m right here to inform you the Jaguars can beat the Patriots. It is doable. 

Initially, there’s precedent. Underneath Invoice Belichick and with Tom Brady, the Pats have misplaced three dwelling playoff video games in 17 years. (I stated there was precedent, I did not say it was simple.) They’ve fallen to the Jets as soon as and the Ravens twice. 

Staff

Def. DVOA Rank

Factors/Sport Allowed (Rank)

Yards/Sport Allowed (Rank)

2008 Ravens

2nd

16.Three (third)

300.5 (third)

2009 Jets 1st 19.Zero (sixth)  291.5 (third)

2012 Ravens

19th

21.5 (12th)

350.9 (15th)

2017 Jaguars

1st

16.eight (2nd)

286.1 (2nd)

Throw out the second Ravens workforce that went in there and beat the Pats. That was Joe Flacco turning into Joe Montana for a postseason. However have a look at the opposite two groups. They have been high 5 in yards per sport allowed and high 5 in factors per sport allowed, identical to the Jaguars. They have been both first or second in Soccer Outsiders DVOA metric, identical to the Jaguars. 

Pete Prisco urged it on the Decide Six Podcast (new episode already up from the Divisional Spherical video games!) however the play right here for the Jaguars is to place Ramsey on Rob Gronkowski, take away Brady’s finest weapon with out having to make use of a security, slide Calais Campbell inside and rush 4 on Brady. Win towards that offensive line, get Brady uncomfortable and lay wooden on the crossing routes and you’ve got a method for taking the Pats down. We have seen the Seahawks and Falcons do it within the Tremendous Bowl too, they simply did not seal the deal. These video games are 60 minutes.

Offensively, the Jaguars have to attempt to gradual Brady down early, throw on early downs with Bortles and hope Leonard Fournette is wholesome. Feed him the ball, expose the Pats protection and execute within the purple zone. It sounds simple and doubting this workforce’s capability could be an easier means out, however additionally they simply did precisely that in Pittsburgh. Robust place to play towards a seasoned opponent and so they took care of enterprise. 

Do NOT underestimate the Tom Coughlin benefit right here both. Doug Marrone deserves extra recognition for potential Coach of the Yr (anybody who gave his rent a foul grade deserves an F, I will personal it) and he is bought the Jaguars enjoying like a extra mature workforce. He eats bologna, he isn’t the world’s flashiest man, however he is a great soccer coach. Coughlin takes it to a different stage, although, as a result of he is the man who has crushed Belichick not as soon as, however twice within the Tremendous Bowl. That issues. He is not sitting in a recliner telling individuals what to do and when to do it. He is a part of this workforce, an extension of the teaching workers inside the entrance workplace. And he has expertise taking the Patriots down.

New England is a greater workforce. They need to be favored. They’re enjoying of their seventh consecutive AFC Championship Sport. However the Jaguars can beat them. Do not be shocked in the event that they do. 

Thoughts-blowing End of the Week

There was a lot to unpack from the Vikings win over the Saints. So, so, a lot. The precise play itself was unimaginable, in fact — unheralded Case Keenum throwing deep to underrated Stefon Diggs with 10 seconds and no timeouts left, all however assured to be the final play of the sport for the Vikings. The Saints have been arrange on protection to attempt to drive the Vikings into the center of the sector and hold them from getting out of bounds on the sidelines to arrange a Kai Forbath subject objective. 

Lord is aware of the superb individuals of Minnesota already handled sufficient kicker drama of their lives, now they have been going to need to undergo a SECOND pearl-clutching kick to attempt to win the sport? Forbath buried a kick earlier within the sport to present the Vikings a two-point lead with 1:34 left within the sport. It was an excessive amount of time for the Saints, as a result of they’ve Drew Brees, who naturally stormed down the sector to arrange a Wil Lutz subject objective that gave them a one-point lead with 29 second left, an epic comeback of their very own. The Vikings have been most likely toast. After which they weren’t — Diggs caught the move, poor rookie security Marcus Williams missed the sort out, and Diggs was off to the races for the primary walk-off, fourth quarter landing catch in NFL playoff historical past. 

It was mind-blowing to see on TV. Think about catching it from the sideline. 

Oh, whilst you’re right here, make certain and take heed to Paul Allen of KFAN’s name on the Vikings radio community. It doesn’t disappoint both.

Wait another. Take heed to the play set to the Titanic music too. 

The web is a magical place, associates.

Saints-Vikings was presupposed to be the premiere sport of the weekend and it did NOT disappoint. When it was 17-Zero Vikings at halftime, it regarded like we may be catching a Sunday afternoon snoozer, however after the ups-and-downs of the Jaguars-Steelers sport, there was much more ready for an encore. Keenum’s move wasn’t inconceivable, as a result of it occurred. 

However it was shut — the Vikings had lower than a three-percent probability of profitable when he uncorked the throw in Diggs’ course. The win-probability chart reads like a cardiogram. 

I am fairly liable to hyperbole and I am not afraid of indulging in some recency bias, however that was one of many biggest endings to an NFL soccer sport I’ve ever seen. Not that there have not been different nice playoff video games lately — the freaking Tremendous Bowl went to extra time final 12 months — however the stakes and improbability of all of it, the workforce in query, all of it amplified the state of affairs. The Vikings are a dominant protection powered by a passionate fanbase enjoying in a obscenely loud dwelling stadium hoping to host a house workforce within the Tremendous Bowl. The offense has been turbo charged by the unlikeliest of heroes, this 12 months, with Case Keenum stepping in for an injured Sam Bradford (who stepped in for an injured Teddy Bridgewater) and main the Vikings far sufficient that he is now finishing the NFL’s model of the Circle of Life.

Eagles traded N. Foles to Rams for S. Bradford. Foles misplaced his job in St. Louis, C. Keenum takes over. Eagles draft C. Wentz and commerce Bradford to Minn. Vikings signal Keenum, who replaces injured Bradford. Foles returns to Philly, replaces injured Wentz. Now, Foles vs. Keenum.

— Zach Berman (@ZBerm) January 15, 2018

“Seven Heaven,” the Vikings identify for the play they referred to as on that ultimate snap — the painful playing kneel of an additional level apart — was a byproduct of Keenum, a sport supervisor with an additional gear, and Diggs, an important route runner with underrated athleticism, and the Saints uncommon choice to play a questionable defensive alignment towards the Vikings on that ultimate play, understanding a sort out inbounds and it is over. Watch the place Subsequent Gen Stats tracked the Saints defenders on this play. The top zone isn’t your buddy, New Orleans.

Shoutout to Adam Thielen for ending the route as the remainder of his teammates are sprinting after Diggs and shedding their minds. Questioning Sean Payton for his choice making late within the sport, or possibly even Dennis Allen, is a viable factor to do, though possibly this was simply a kind of moments that makes soccer the brand new nationwide pastime. The unpredictability and improbability of the whole play took a stadium stuffed with diehard Vikings followers, none of who’ve seen the Vikings win a Tremendous Bowl (Minnesota has NFL Championships, however hasn’t gained because the merger), from hopelessness to sheer pleasure within the blink of an eyes. 

Conversely, Saints followers had the whole lot ripped out of their palms and smashed on the bottom in entrance of them earlier than even realizing it occurred. (NBC executives hoping for a Brees-Brady Tremendous Bowl most likely really feel the identical means.) They’re so shattered there are guys on the market filming themselves throwing 65-inch flat screens out of their home.

Including insult to harm was the NFL’s requirement the Vikings kick the additional level after the landing, which meant not solely did a nation full of people that wagered on the Saints +5.5 (or Vikings -5.5) have to carry their breath and wait to see what would occur (the Vikings took a knee, giving Saints bettors the win), however the Saints needed to be dragged again out on the sector from the locker room and stand there shellshocked as Keenum took a knee. 

Payton and Brees are execs and dealt with it as such. They have been there, within the good moments and unhealthy. However it positive did really feel just like the Saints have been surging, discovering their offense on the proper time and about to actually get sizzling and make a run deeper into the playoffs. After which, sooner than you’ll be able to say “SKOL,” it was over and the Saints have been headed dwelling. 

Underdog Halloween Costume of the Week

Nobody ever gave the Eagles an opportunity to win towards the Falcons — they have been underdogs from the get go and so they knew it. Lane Johnson talked about it throughout the week, saying when Carson Wentz went down the world began treating them just like the Cleveland Browns. Possibly that is a stretch, however there was undoubtedly a pervading sentiment that the Falcons would roll into Philly and deal with enterprise just like how they dealt with issues towards the Rams within the Wild-Card spherical. 

Do not suppose for a second this wasn’t on the minds of the Eagles gamers both. Tight finish Zach Ertz put the so-called specialists on blast for selecting towards Philly.

“I used to be watching ESPN as we speak and all 5 analyists, specialists they name themselves, picked the #Falcons to win. I am glad they don’t seem to be in control of my funds by any means, choosing shares right here and there. If they’ll name us underdogs once more subsequent week I am superb with it” – Zach Ertz

— James Palmer (@JamesPalmerTV) January 14, 2018

The Eagles took this complete underdog factor to coronary heart, particularly the large guys on the strains. Johnson, who was significantly vocal, actually let the world know he was a dwell canine, showing on the sector after the sport in a canine masks.

If you wish to buy the masks, effectively, you are out of luck. Because it seems the masks already bought out on Amazon — however in the event you’re dying to assist your native underdog in Philadelphia this weekend, cruise over to Breaking T and get the t-shirt model they created. 

through BreakingT.com

Enjoying up the canine angle is enjoyable — and the Eagles will get an opportunity to do it once more this week, as they’re Three.5-point underdogs to the Vikings at dwelling within the NFC Championship Sport — however let’s not fake this is not a great Eagles workforce.

Philly wasn’t 10 guys standing round watching Wentz sprinkle magic quarterback mud on everybody else. It is a workforce constructed within the trenches, with a roster method designed for January and February. The line of defense runs six deep and pressured Matt Ryan in massive spots. The offensive line has some horses on it; when push got here to point out the Eagles ran the ball down the Falcons throat, bullying a sooner and extra explosive protection with Jay Ajayi and LeGarrette Blount toting the rock. They shut Atlanta out within the second half en path to a 15-10 win and so they knew precisely what the Falcons tried to do late. 

They’re about to interact in one other rock combat (the over-under is 38 for the Vikings-Falcons sport). It is simple to get the underdog angle, as a result of the Vikings blanked Drew Brees for a full half. Nick Foles is an excellent backup quarterback however he isn’t Drew Brees. Not many quarterbacks are. Doug Pederson deserves a ton of credit score for his utilization of run-pass choice (RPO) performs throughout the Eagles win over Atlanta. Good luck utilizing these towards the skilled Vikings offense. 

Minnesota is a simple choose as a result of they’re extra full on each side of the ball. Counting out the Eagles after what we noticed towards Atlanta could be dumb. They’re embracing the canine mentality and so they’ve been given one other chip this week.  

Disastrous Purple Zone Playcalling of the Week

The Falcons have not been an important red-zone workforce this 12 months, so once they wanted a 4th-and-6 with the sport on the road, there have been most likely some involved soccer followers within the state of Georgia — many nonetheless reeling from Bama’s extra time win within the championship sport towards the Bulldogs — about what Steve Sarkisian may dial up. The priority was warranted, as a result of the Falcons ran a play that not solely lower the sector in half however a play that the Eagles noticed coming from a mile away.

Philly defenders, particularly safeties Malcolm Jenkins and Rodney McLeod, stated after the sport when the Falcons broke their huddle, they knew Atlanta was going to dash Matt Ryan out proper. That is how you bought the closely unbalanced numbers that titled the sector within the Eagles favor.

through NFL GamePass

Because the Falcons went to line up for the play, NBC announcer Cris Collinsworth identified that is the spot, on 4th-and-goal from the two-yard line, the place you dial up what’s mainly your “finest two-point conversion play.” The Falcons finest play concerned placing their fullback on the left aspect by himself and having him run a slant whereas reducing off half the sector and compacting the house for Julio Jones to work. You will not consider this, nevertheless it did not work. Falcons coach Dan Quinn largely defended the playcall, though he didn’t it is one thing you see as a defensive coordinator.

“As a former defensive coordinator, I acknowledge that could be a play individuals do make use of. We have been searching for that chance on that match up for that particular play,” Quinn stated after the sport. “That is what we thought was going to be the perfect play referred to as for that point. There was no stress from a time standpoint, we had our timeouts, so that is what we thought was the perfect play to go win the sport. We did not execute it and so they did, and that is the way in which the story is on that play.”

Principally the Falcons have been searching for man-to-man with Jones — and so they bought it — however he fell down earlier than and could not squeeze the ball to safe the landing. 

through NFL GamePass

Jones most likely wasn’t coming down in bounds anyway. And simply wanting on the 4th-down play ignores another points right here. 

After Tevin Coleman picked up sufficient yardage to make it 1st-and-goal, Sark determined to dial up a leap ball / fade to Julio. Superb, no matter, they bought man-on-man protection. Jones was lined and Ryan did not make an important throw.

through NFL GamePass

The second-down play goes to hang-out some individuals. The Falcons introduced of their third-string operating again Terron Ward and had Ryan run a shovel move to him that was, fairly mercifully, incomplete and never a fumble, as a result of the sport would have ended there and Atlanta would have burned to the bottom. 

through NFL GamePass

“What was … that?” Al Michaels requested on the NBC broadcast, with a stage of disgust that muffled any exclamation, talking for each single human being not named Steve Sarkisian. 

The following play was a great play! It was a slant to Julio — after Cris Collinsworth famous Jones was being singled within the purple zone once more — that just about picked up the landing and bought them close to the objective line. That is the play the Falcons ought to have run on first down, to present themselves some choices with goal-to-go in a short-yardage state of affairs. 

As a substitute they have been left with the fourth down that failed and so they have been despatched dwelling. Sark’s second season will go higher than his first, however the lasting picture of the Falcons season will not sit effectively with followers for the subsequent 9 months.

The Different Worst Fourth Down Name of the Week

Being an offensive coordinator is difficult work as a result of you need to modify on the fly, continuously altering your gameplan. It is a chess match, however Todd Haley regarded like he was enjoying checkers on fourth down, assuming you consider Ben Roethlisberger did not take a look at of the performs. 

With the Steelers already surprised by the Jags sizzling begin and trailing 14-Zero, Pittsburgh bought a 4th-and-1 and eschewed letting their quarterback whose nickname is BIG BEN sneak the ball a yard and as an alternative tried to get out on the perimeter towards the quickest protection within the NFL. 

Once more, it was a really low proportion of human beings who thought “Wow what an important toss sweep that was! It simply did not get executed.” That was a horrible play. Simply terrible. This isn’t one thing new for Todd Haley both! He did it within the 2011 NFL playoffs when he was head coach of the Chiefs and KC was internet hosting the Ravens (Charlie Weis was his offensive coordinator nevertheless it was reported he stripped the large man of playcalling within the second half) and making an attempt to actually get again within the sport.

It was was a foul name then, it was a foul name on Sunday and each instances it snuffed out the offense’s momentum.

Making all of this a lot worse? Roethlisberger’s historical past in these conditions.

Ben Roethlisberger on 4th-and-1 rush makes an attempt in his profession, together with playoffs:

19 makes an attempt 18 first downs

Highest success price (94.7 %) of any participant with over 10 makes an attempt since 2004 (together with playoffs)

Steelers on 4th-and-1 as we speak: Zero-for-2 (Bell run, Ben move)

— NFL Analysis (@NFLResearch) January 14, 2018

Whether or not it was Haley’s playcalling there or whether or not Ben was audibiling out of a play is irrelevant. The Steelers had an opportunity to stem the tide within the first half and to set themselves up for a game-tying landing later and determined to push the ball down the sector on 4th-and-short as an alternative of letting Ben sneak it. 

Haley is not the Steelers largest drawback — he is bought Roethlisberger enjoying a number of the finest soccer of his profession. There have been factors on this sport the place Ben was DIALED. The landing move to Antonio Brown on 4th-and-6, the dime to Le’Veon Bell on the wheel route in the long run zone and the fourth down throw to Martavis Bryant. However it saved feeling like nice athletes and expertise have been serving to the the Steelers overcome one thing that felt like an absence of preparation. 

The Jaguars got here into this sport because the extra motivated workforce, the extra ready workforce and so they whipped up on the Steelers for a lot of the day. It was a testomony to Pittsburgh’s skill-position guys they managed to remain within the sport.  

Yet one more grievance: the onside kick after reducing it to 42-35. WHY? The Jaguars have been going to run the ball 3 times, punt in the event that they did not get a primary down and belief their protection. Going for the onside allowed the Jags to get into subject objective vary, which might finally be the distinction within the sport. Social media is enjoyable for armchair guessing, nevertheless it was patently apparent the Steelers ought to have kicked away there and tried to get the ball again in respectable subject place. As a substitute, they went for a ho-hum landing move on the finish of the sport that lined the second-half unfold however ought to depart everybody unfulfilled in regards to the potential of this workforce.

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[junker-town]

The best and worst quarterbacks in the NFL, according to Jalen Ramsey

“I don’t care what nobody say. He’s trash. And it’s gonna show too.”

Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey has opinions, and as an NFL player his opinions are probably a lot better than yours or mine. So when he talks about, say, how trash a quarterback is, he’s speaking from a place of expertise that we just don’t have.

Ramsey sat down with GQ for an extensive interview that covered mostly how good other quarterbacks in the NFL are — and which ones are total trash. It’s going to make some people mad, maybe some bulletin board material too, but Ramsey doesn’t care when it comes to teams he’s not playing in 2018.

While Ramsey didn’t mention every passer in the NFL, we still get a pretty good idea of where they shake out. So, without further adieu ...

The definitive Jalen Ramsey quarterback rankings, based on his quotes.

1. Drew Brees (Saints)

“I’m a fan of Drew Brees. I think Drew Brees really good, even at this age. He still runs. Everything.”

2. Aaron Rodgers (Packers)

“Does not [suck].”

3. Tom Brady (Patriots)

“Doesn’t [suck].”

4. Deshaun Watson (Texans)

“Deshaun Watson, he’ll be the league MVP in a couple years. One hundred percent. There’s not even a debate about that.”

5. Carson Wentz (Eagles)

“Carson Wentz, for every year starting now until five to ten years, it’s gonna be them two [with Watson]. They’re that good.

6. Marcus Mariota (Titans)

“I think Marcus Mariota is a great quarterback for their team.”

7. Kirk Cousins (Vikings)

“I think he’s good. I think he’s a winner. He’s a hell of a competitor. Coming off the play action, he’s the best quarterback in the league. Play action passing, he’s a hell of a quarterback.”

8. Russell Wilson (Seahawks)

“I think Russell [Wilson] is good. I think he’s just a really good leader too.”

9. Nick Foles (Eagles)

“He won them a Super Bowl so he’s good enough to do that.”

10. Derek Carr (Raiders)

“Derek Carr, I think he’s good.”

11. Philip Rivers (Chargers)

“Philip Rivers, I think he’s pretty good.”

12. Matthew Stafford (Lions)

“Matthew Stafford, I think he’s straight. I don’t think he the best quarterback out there. But he do what he gotta do.”

13. Tyrod Taylor (Browns)

“I think Tyrod Taylor is actually a better quarterback than he gets credit for, because he does not make mistakes.”

14. Black Bortles (Jaguars)

“Blake do what he gotta do… I think in crunch time moments, like last year’s playoff game—not as a team, because we would have trusted him—but I think as an organization, we should have trusted him more to keep throwing it.”

15. Jared Goff (Rams)

“Jared Goff, he’s average to above average.”

16. Jimmy Garoppolo (49ers)

“Just cause when they beat us, his hype picked up. They were like, “He beat the number one defense.” It was all schemes. He didn’t beat us. It wasn’t like he diced us up. It was literally all schemes.”

17. Baker Mayfield (Browns)

“So if they want that type of quarterback—confident, get out the pocket, throw on the run, big plays, charisma—then yeah, I understand Baker going number one.”

18. Lamar Jackson (Ravens)

“I would’ve picked [Lamar Jackson] earlier than 32. I think he’s gonna do a good job. Especially with the [Baltimore Ravens’] offensive coordinator—he likes running quarterbacks, likes that read option.”

19. Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers)

“Big Ben [Roethlisberger], I think he’s decent at best… It’s not Big Ben, it’s [Antonio Brown]. Big Ben slings the ball a lot of the time. He just slings it, and his receivers go get it. He has a strong arm, but he ain’t all that. I played him twice last year, and he really disappointed me. He’ll be in the Hall of Fame and all that.”

20. Eli Manning (Giants)

“Eli [Manning]... It’s not really Eli. I think it’s Odell [Beckham, Jr.]. I won’t say Eli’s good, I’ll say Odell’s good. And their connection is good.”

21. Ryan Tannehill (Dolphins)

“I don’t know much about him. I haven’t heard the greatest of stuff about him but I don’t know him personally so I can’t tell you.”

22. Matt Ryan (Falcons)

“I think Matt Ryan’s overrated. You can’t tell me you win MVP two years ago, and then last year, you a complete bust, and you still got Julio Jones? There’s no way that should ever happen. I don’t care.”

23. Andrew Luck (Colts)

“Andrew Luck—I don’t really think he’s that good. Him and T.Y. [Hilton] had a connection in the past that made him stand out a little bit more, but I don’t think he’s good.”

24. Joe Flacco (Ravens)

“And just being honest about it, [Joe] Flacco sucks. I played him two years in a row. He sucks.”

25. Josh Allen (Bills)

“I think [Buffalo Bills draft pick Josh] Allen is trash. I don’t care what nobody say. He’s trash. And it’s gonna show too. That’s a stupid draft pick to me. We play them this year, and I’m excited as hell. I hope he’s their starting quarterback.”

Starting quarterbacks that Jalen Ramsey did not mention:

Sam Bradford, Andy Dalton, Case Keenum, Patrick Mahomes, Josh McCown, Cam Newton, Dak Prescott, Alex Smith, Jameis Winston.

[roxtrospective]

2016: It’s A Wrap!

Ugh, 2016 was a rough year. Little did we know how rough it would be with the passing of one too many of music’s greatest artists. We were barely into the second week of the new year when the mother of all gut punches felt around the world was delivered – David Bowie was dead at 69. It was and still is a loss that defies explanation. His loss felt more profound to me perhaps because it came on the heels of having just seen the Bowie Is exhibit last year. That exhibit was such a celebration of his genius and it certainly helped forge a much deeper connection to the man as an iconic artist for our generation. I’m so grateful that we have his music to remember him by. 

This year the plan was to enjoy more music more often. First up for 2016 was AC/DC (Yes, them!!). The band rolled into the United Center on February 17th on their Rock or Bust Tour. The boys from Oz have played together since 1973. With Angus on guitar and Brian on vocals – their sound is as legendary as are their legions of fans. Amid the sea of humanity in the audience this particular evening was the flickering of red devil horns (see Highway to Hell cover art). The guys took us through their music catalog spanning their entire career. They played like a well-oiled machine, never missing a beat. There wasn’t a number that the crowd didn’t know or love, especially when Angus did his guitar stomp all over the stage. Playing everything from Hells Bells to Thunderstruck and Black in Black to Shoot to Thrill, on this night in this town AC/DC were every bit the rock and roll monsters of this midway.

Fast forward to June, the month that would mark the start of my ultimate 2016 summer playlist. First up was yet another Aussie act, Tame Impala, on the 9th at UIC Pavilion. The psychedelic pop/rock band hails from Perth and true to form, the band’s performance was nothing short of electrifying. Granted, it may have been in part to a killer light show accompanying the music – in any case, their mix of sound and vision was the cocktail that had everyone up on our collectively feet and dancing the night away. It was a super energetic and fun set – quite the party atmosphere and there was no escaping it. You either succumbed to this celebration or…yeah, there was no other option, really.

A few days later, it was back to UIC Pavilion on June 11th, for The Cure. Yep, the alt-rock band that ushered in the eighties with their unique sound hit Chicago for two sold out shows. From the moment the band took the stage at UIC Pavilion and played their first note, it was like hearing them for the first time (I think The Love Cats may have been my introduction to them) in their heyday. With an extensive catalog of tunes to choose from, their set included many familiar hits and Smith’s voice sounded as fresh as ever. 

The following evening, on June 12th, it was off to the Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre for Florence and the Machine and opening band, Of Monsters and Men. I was equally excited to catch both acts. Both artists have a very distinctive sound – and was surprise that their sound translated so well via their live performances. The opener, Monsters, are from Iceland. There must be something in the water in that country, because that island has churned out a litany of fantastic artists in recent years. What a great sound – the blend of the band’s voices was beautiful and their music was infectious. The headliner was no slouch either -- Florence was every bit the ethereal creature we’ve come to expect. Her performance against the backdrop of a suburban outdoor theatre was surreal and she totally made every effort to connect with her audience. Florence left her band on stage at one point venturing out into the crowd and simply danced/sang her way through the aisles. She was completely committed to serving up one heavenly note after another – an incredible voice.  

And who doesn’t like a little humor served up with a side of music? Headed to the Jay Pritzker Pavilion (a truly beautiful venue) for the Flight of the Conchords on June 19th. Oh yes, a double dose of Kiwi goodness courtesy of Jemaine and Bret under the auspices of the exquisite Chicago skyline was a refreshing treat on a steamy summer night. The duo that is synonymous with high jink brought their storytelling shenanigans to the Windy City and boy did they deliver the goods. My favorite number of the set? It had to be You Don’t Have to be a Prostitute / Roxanne – all in good fun. 

 Okay, truth be told, the band up next on my calendar has been on my must-see bucket list since 1989. There’s never been a time that I did not love them madly – and I still do. The band holding that distinct honor is none other than Manchester darlings The Stone Roses. The band first split up in 1996 and first reformed in 2011 playing sporadic gigs here and there. Their only US appearance for 2016 was going to be at Madison Square Garden on June 30th and nothing was going to stop me from seeing them. So off to New York I flew to catch Manchester’s (and my) favorite sons. From the opening notes of I Want to be Adored through the closing ones on I Am the Resurrection, the evening’s set was full of goosebump moments for me. Props to Mani, John, Reni who were in exceptional form. They did not miss a beat – what a night!

July would turn out to be a month-long music extravaganza. First up on the calendar (July 10th) were Sting & Peter Gabriel at the Marcus Amphitheater. Both these artists are extremely successful songwriters in their own right with any number of hits to their credit. As promoted prior to the start of the Rock, Scissor, Paper Tour, what made this show so different was that the set alternated between artist/song with each artist supporting the other. And whether it was Sting backing Gabriel on Digging in the Dirt or Gabriel backing Sting on Invisible Sun, the entire evening’ was a memorable show by these legends – sounding better than ever with material that clearly stands the test of time.

Next up, the Alabama Shakes in support of their Sound & Color album. I caught them on July 19th at the Civic Opera House (the following night they played the Aragon Ballroom). No surprise that Britney A. Howard and her marvelous pipes absolutely SHOOK the O-house. Howard’s voice is distinct, like no other – powerful and passionate, it’s an absolutely beautiful instrument that completely captivates an audience. And wow – did this band ever deliver a musical performance to remember at the Opera House! Do not miss an opportunity to catch this band en vivo. 

When Coldplay was scheduled to play on the July 24th at Soldier Field Stadium – the venue choice didn’t exactly thrill me. The last time I attended a concert at Soldier Field was for U2’s PopMart Tour in 1997 – was not at all impressed with the acoustics or vantage point. Nonetheless – made my way to the stadium on an extremely stormy summer evening which was marked by a torrential downpour that blew in right before the opening act was scheduled take the stage. The storm was so menacing that the plug was pulled on the first set and all concertgoers were directed to find shelter in the stadium. Miraculously, the storm managed to clear and it was on with show. Our seats were decent – upper deck of the stadium – to the right of the stage. Chris Martin opened the show with A Head Full of Dreams. The band has a massive song library and they certainly played several of their hits through-out the evening. The band sounded terrific and they put on a great show – no small feat in that venue, but mission accomplished. 

Every year when Lollapolooza caravans into town, it’s not unusual for bands to play aftershows in and around the city. That was the case when The Arcs played the Park West on July 27th (only this aftershow happened before Lolla – go figure). The Arcs is a side-project by Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys. Auerbach and the band were touring in support of the Yours, Dreamily album. As for their show, these guys blew the doors off the place – their set was THAT crazy good. Hard to pick just one highlight, but if I had to single out any one stand-out aspect of the show it had to be the addition of the all-female mariachi band Mariachi Flor de Toloache to the line-up. Toloache did the backing vocals for some of the tracks on Dreamily. With their unique sound, these ladies made quite an impression with the audience to be sure – heard they rocked Lolla as well! 

In October, we caught Nick Waterhouse at the Bottom Lounge on the 4th. Love that venue for live music – intimate is the best way to describe it. As for Waterhouse, when it comes to rhythm and blues there is no doubt that he knows his stuff. On tour in support of his Never Twice album, this is definitely one of the coolest cats to get you groovin’ to the music. Katchi, featuring Leon Bridges, was my introduction to this talented musician. That song was love at first vibe (Now, It’s Time is actually my favorite song). The groovy vibe is a definitive facet of Waterhouse’s music – his set at the Bottom Lounge was an absolute blast. Waterhouse is a brilliant artist, if ever you have a chance to see him live – don’t miss it!

A few days later on October 6th, we headed up to Milwaukee’s Turner Hall Ballroom to see The Record Company (TRC). You can’t help but notice what an incredibly beautiful venue Turner Hall is – it’s also perfect for live music. These blues rockers may have originated in L.A., but their lead singer (Chris Vos) clearly has local fans based on the great reception the band received. As for the show, this band was meant to be heard live. TRC’s music sounds great on the radio, but the guys shine in front of an audience. Vos’s voice is phenomenal, powerful and the guys on back-up really crank out amazing sounds in support of the vocals. These guys were well worth the road trip from Chicago to see them at Turner Hall – to be sure, they’ll be playing larger venues in no time.  

The final act for an eventful year (see January 2016 and then, there’s November) was none other than the godmother of punk, Ms. Patti Smith on December 30th at the Riviera Theatre. Patti was another artist who had been on my must see list forever. It became an obsession after reading Just Kids. Her memoir was an especially vivid firsthand account of the punk movement in the 70s. As she chronicled her life in New York during a pivotal time in music history, the cast of characters who were a part of her life experience is mind-blowing. This particular concert happened to fall on her birthday and the show was a celebration of Horses, Smith’s debut studio album. The show was exceptional. Right place, right time – she was serving up a little extra attitude on this evening – like a much needed rallying cry. I’ll treasure her performance as the master class in artistry that it was. 

As if Patti Smith wasn’t THE perfect way to close out the year, on New Years Eve we said goodbye to 2016 with a performance by Houndmouth at Thalia Hall. Truthfully, the trio from Indiana were the perfect hosts for the final night of 2016. Houndmouth turned out to be a bit of a surprise for me because they’re categorized as an alternative country band and country music is usually a no-fly zone for me. But hey, these kids were alright. Clearly, there’s a new generation of artists who are rewriting industry rules – and I am totally cool with that. After all, bands like this are what the adventure of music discovery is all about. And on wrapping up 2016, it would appear that discovery reigned supreme this year – every single artist I caught in 2016 (with the exception of Peter Gabriel & Sting in July) was completely new to my see live list of music experiences. Mission accomplished – already eagerly anticipating the new sights, sounds and experiences that 2017 will bring.