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obeythedemons · 3 years ago

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Slumber Party [Obey Me! Barbatos/Lance, Diavolo & Lance]

Note: So uh...There are like no differences between me and Lance now. Oops.

Yes, I did run for coroner to show how utterly stupid it was.

Obey Me! Masterlist

“Lance!” The human turned around at someone yelling his name. His eyes flickered to the demon prince waving excitedly at him as he quickly approached him. “Just who I was wanting to see!”

“Is there something I can help you with, Diavolo?” Lance questioned as he adjusted his book bag on his shoulder.

“Yes!” Diavolo exclaimed with a wide smile. “I have a very important thing to research and you’re just the one I need to help me.”

Lance’s eyes lit up as a grin formed, small dimples showed at his cheeks at the mention of research. “Sure, what are we researching?”

Diavolo held his pointer finger out at Lance’s chest. “You!”

The grin faded. “Me? Why?”

“I want us to be friends, Lance,” Diavolo explained and crossed his arms over his chest. “You are one of the exchange students. I not only want to learn about humans more, but I want to know you as a person.”

Lance tried to swallow his nervousness down as he played with the strap of his bag. “Alright. When did you want to get to know each other better?”

“Right now! We’re having a slumber party! Those are popular in the human world, correct?”

Lance laughed at the excited shimmer in Diavolo’s eyes. Lance shrugged. “I guess? They’re more for kids, but sometimes adults have them.”

“Wonderful!” Diavolo clapped his hand on Lance’s shoulder and started to guide him towards the direction of the castle. “I had Barbatos prepare snacks and activities for us!”

“What kind of activities?” Lance glanced up at the demon prince towering over him nervously.

"I researched common activities. We’ll have a spa set up, a pillow fight, some video games, play two truths and a lie, and gossip about boys!”

Lance sputtered as he tried to cover the laugh at the last one. “Gossip about boys?”

Diavolo chuckled, the corners of his eyes turning up. “I thought it’d be fun! You’re friends with Asmodeus, I’m sure you’ve heard some interesting things.”

“You’re just wanting to get to know Lucifer better, right?”

“That is one of the reasons, yes. I’m afraid I can’t get too close to the brothers without resorting to these sorts of means.”

Lance’s amusement died a bit, he tried to hide the sadness that flashed across his face. “Well, I’m sure I can help you get closer to them. If not, we’ll at least be closer, right?”

Diavolo smiled warmly. “I would love that.”

The two fell into comfortable small talk, mainly about upcoming events Diavolo was wanting to host at RAD. When they approached the entrance to the castle, the doors opened to a smiling Barbatos. Lance stiffened as he felt heat course to his face.

“Welcome home, My Lord. Welcome to the castle, Lance,” Barbatos greeted and bowed slightly.

“Thank you, Barbatos,” Diavolo said with a light chuckle as he observed Lance’s darkened cheeks. “Is everything prepared?”

Barbatos straightened up. “Yes, the snacks and games are all prepared in the guest room you would like to use for the slumber party.” Barbatos pulled out a shirt from somewhere and held it up. “I have also taken the liberty of creating these as memorabilia for the first slumber party”

Lance snapped out of his daze and examined the shirt. Cartoon versions of both himself and Diavolo were on the black shirt. In bright red font was “Diavolo’s and Lance’s First Slumber Party!” Lance held in a sigh, realizing he would wear it whenever he knew he’d see Diavolo just to make the prince happy.

“They’re very cute,” Lance commented on them.

“Aren’t they?” Diavolo took the shirt and held it up. “And we get to be twinsies with them on, just like Beelzebub and Belphegor.”

"Maybe we’ll have telepathic powers, too,” Lance chuckled as he followed Diavolo in. “That way, we can gossip about boys whenever we want. Even right in front of Lucifer.”

A snort sounded near them. Lance glanced over and saw Barbatos covering his mouth while looking away from them. His shoulder shook slightly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Pardon me. If you two will please follow me, I will show you to where the slumber party is.”

The two trailed behind Barbatos. Diavolo bent down and whispered to Lance’s ear, “You made him laugh.”

Lance jumped and nearly slammed himself into the wall. He stared at Diavolo in bewilderment. “S-So?”

Diavolo just gave him a wry grin before he stepped into the room Barbatos had shown them. Lance looked around in slight awe. A large blanket fort was already constructed with small lights illuminating the room. Pillows covered the floor for ample sitting room, and probably for the pillow fight, Diavolo had in mind.

"Please let me know if there is anything that you require or when you are ready for the spa activities,” Barbatos sounded behind them before he quickly left.

Lance looked around before he placed his bag on a clear table, free from the many snacks that were around the room. He turned to Diavolo who was watching him carefully. He tilted his head, trying to decide if he should be amused by the prince or intimidated.

“So, what did you want to do first?” Lance asked.

“Two truths and a lie?” Diavolo suggested.

Lance blinked. “You’re serious about that one? I thought you don’t tell lies. I also thought you could detect lies immediately.”

Diavolo raised his hands in the air. “True, true! Then, how about, three truths, no lies? Would you like to go first?” He sat down on a pile of pillows and grabbed one to hold onto while he gave Lance his undivided attention.

“Oh, um,” Lance mumbled as he tried to wrack through every bit of his brain, to think of random tidbits of trivia. He sat down near Diavolo and pulled a nearby blanket over his body. “I…” Nothing was coming to mind. He ran his fingers over the fabric of the blanket. It was teal, similar to Barbatos’s strands of lighter hair. He huffed lightly, feeling slightly embarrassed. “My birthday’s a week after Barbatos’s. I’ve dislocated my jaw by yawning. And…” He glanced at Diavolo and racked his brain for another thought. “I ran for public office to show how stupid it was that I could actually run for that office.”

Diavolo blinked at the last one. “You did? What office?”

“Coroner,” Lance said with a light laugh. “Where I live, you only need a high school degree, be over 18, and not have a criminal record.”

Diavolo’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “You don’t need any medical experience?”

“Nope. It’s stupid.”

“That does sound,” Diavolo paused as he tried to find the correct words. “It sounds like it could be potentially problematic. Did you enjoy running for that office?”

Lance shrugged. “A bit. But then it got to the point where the party was trying to tokenize me for being queer and that got annoying real fast. You also see the underbelly of politics, even for a local office like that.”

Diavolo sighed and nodded his head. “Yes, it does get exhausting.” Diavolo shifted slightly and leaned in closer to Lance. “Moving along, I couldn’t help but notice you know when Barbatos’s birthday is.”

Lance tightened his grip on the blanket and drew his knees up to his chest. “So? I know when your birthday is, too.”

“My birthday is on a common holiday in the human world,” Diavolo dismissed quickly. “Barbatos’s birthday is on a random day. Knowing his birthday means you care for him.”

“I mean, I care about all of you,” Lance protested.

“When’s Lucifer’s birthday?”

Lance froze. “In…June?”

“What day, Lance?”

“I don’t know,” Lance grumbled.

Diavolo messed with his DDD for a moment. Merely seconds later, Barbatos arrived. Diavolo grinned mischievously at Lance before turning his direction to his butler. “Barbatos, do you know when Lance’s birthday is?”

“August 29th, My Lord,” Barbatos responded immediately.

“And when is Lucifer’s birthday?”

Barbatos paused for a moment. “I will have to check the calendar, but I believe it is June 6th.” He tilted his head slightly. “You know when Lucifer’s birthday is.”

“I do,” Diavolo said with amusement. “Thank you, Barbatos. I think we’re ready for the spa treatments. What did you have prepared?”

“Of course,” Barbatos nodded and quickly made his way to a table. “With Asmodeus’s help, I have prepared facemasks, nail polish, and makeup, should you be so inclined.” Barbatos paused as he went over what he had ready and turned towards Lance. “I ensured that there weren’t cherries or anything else that you’re allergic to in the products, Lance.”

“Oh, thank you,” Lance spoke softly. “I didn’t think you would remember that.”

Barbatos flashed a grin towards the human. “I also ensured that your favorite colors are available with the nail polishes. I hope you enjoy them.” Barbatos tore his gaze from Lance and towards Diavolo whose grin only seemed to widen. The butler stiffened to a straighter position; a light pink dusting settled on his cheeks. “Would you like assistance in applying any of these things?”

“No, that’s alright. I think it’s time to gossip with Lance. Thank you, Barbatos.”

Lance let out a huff of laughter. “I’m sure you know more about Lucifer than I do, Diavolo.”

Barbatos hesitated to leave, as his eyes flickered back and forth between the prince and Lance. Something that Diavolo watched with great amusement. Once the butler was gone, Diavolo turned back to the human. “I’m sure you know some things that I don’t. Lucifer is very private about things with me. Still, I must actually tell you my true intentions.”

“Your true intentions?”

“Yes, I didn’t bring you here to learn more about Lucifer, although that is most certainly a perk. I brought you here to see why Barbatos is so infatuated with you.”

Lance’s eyes bugged out. He choked on seemingly nothing, coughing to try and get his breath back. “What?!”

“It’s also clear that you’re just as infatuated with him,” Diavolo said with a slight smirk.

Lance let out an embarrassed hum as he hid his face in his knees. “Did Asmo tell you?” his voice came out muffled.

“No, it’s blatantly obvious.”

“Great,” he groaned out, causing a fit of laughter to leave Diavolo. Lance pouted at the prince with a small glare. “Enough teasing. You didn’t tell your three truths.”

“Oh, I didn’t,” Diavolo said as he blinked. “Much to Barbatos’s displeasure, I enjoy junk food, I hate pickles, and I started to play video games to be closer with Leviathan, but I actually do enjoy them now.”

“You really do want to be close with all of the brothers, huh?”

Diavolo looked at Lance like he was a child afraid of getting in trouble for asking for something. Slowly, the prince nodded. “Yes. I understand why Lucifer tries to keep me away from them, but I wouldn’t dream of hurting any of them.”

“I think Lucifer thought that Michael wouldn’t hurt any of his siblings,” Lance started softly. “But I think he’s starting to realize that it’s actually the case with you. He makes sure that Levi doesn’t have cooking duty when you’re going to play games together.”

“He does?” Diavolo asked with shock.

Lance nodded and uncurled from the tight ball he was in. “There was a night where it was Levi’s turn to cook, but he asked Lucifer if it would be alright to play games with you. He said he’d order everyone food, but Lucifer just said it was fine and took over cooking duties.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“It’s taking some time, but Lucifer is warming up to the idea of you being friends with his brothers.”

“That makes me very glad to hear.”

Lance stood up and made his way over to the nail polish. “How about you paint your nails red? Match Lucifer’s nails?”

Diavolo’s eyes sparkled. “And be twinsies with Lucifer!”

“We’d have to be careful with us telepathically gossiping about boys, if that happens.”

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recurring-polynya · 5 years ago

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Congratulations on the 500 followers and your anniversary!! 💞 your stuff never fails to make me (and at least 500 others) smile! And with that in mind, if you’re still accepting prompts, how about an Academy Days study session/sleepover? I’m thinking Izuru Momo Renji Rukia but you can add others if you want!

Thank youuuuuuu! Grumpy Teen Rukia is soooo fun to write! This one also goes out to everyone out that who is currently slogging their way through finals.

By the way, if anyone out there is enjoying these Adorkable Academy Hijinks, may I shamelessly plug @diademchiofthetripod‘s Life is Like a Boat? Or if you have some emotional capacity for Sad Renji there’s always Hold On, Hold On, AKA the only good thing I’ve ever written.

📚 🍪 📚 🍵 📚

“There!” Hinamori announced, sitting back to admire her own work. “Adorable!” She paused. “You can go take a look in the mirror, if you want.”

Rukia reached up to tentatively tug at one of the ponytails Hinamori had arranged her hair into. “I’ll take your word for it. I thought we were going to study.”

Hinamori sighed, clearly disappointed over something. “I suppose so. I feel like I’ve been studying all day. Possibly my entire life.”

Rukia pulled her Kidou Theory book onto her lap as thought that would protect her from future experimental hairstyles. It was supremely weird that Renji’s perfect friend had invited her to have a “study sleepover.” It was the weekend before finals, and all the girls were doing it, piling into one another’s rooms and eating snacks and painting each other’s nails while they quizzed each other on long lists of historically dead captains and the seven principal hakuda throws and going to sleep wherever they happened to fall over. As it happened, Rukia’s snotty roommate had been dropping sharper and stronger hints all week that Rukia might want to find someplace else to sleep, so she could have her own friends over. That’s the only reason Rukia had said yes to this.

Well, maybe not the only reason. Hinamori was smart. Super smart. Rukia knew she was smart too, but not exactly in a ‘“get A’s in all your classes" way. More like in a “trick someone out of all their money and be halfway across town before they realized" sort of way. That way was not proving to be very welcome here at Shin’ou. And if she didn’t manage to scrape through these finals, Rukia was going to find herself not very welcome here at Shin’ou.

“You want to go over kidou?” Momo asked, digging through a pile of binders, each neatly labeled with colored paper on the spines. “Do you need help?” She sounded surprised. “Abarai-kun says you’re very good at kidou.”

Renji had said what? Renji never shut up about how good Momo was at kidou. She’s a genius, Rukia, she can do a couple of level 30’s with no chant, she even managed to explain it to me, howsabout that for smarts? And Izuru knows all the chants, every one, Ru, he’s got all these funny tricks for remembering ‘em, listen to this one. Rukia was somewhat dumbfounded that Renji even remembered she existed when he was with his brilliant friends.

“I’m good at doing them,” she mumbled. “The theory stuff is hard.”

“Oh, sure,” Hinamori agreed. “I could stand to brush up on that, myself. Do you want a cookie?”

“Cookie?” Rukia echoed.

“Mmm-hmm! I got a package from my grandmother just yesterday!” She pulled a tin off a shelf and wrestled the lid off. “She said my little brother helped make them, but I’m sure they still taste fine. My granny is an amazing baker.”

Rukia stared at the cookies, frozen. Rukia had stolen food and water and money and clothes from every kind of scumbag and lowlife imaginable, and never felt a speck of regret about it. It seemed absolutely unthinkable to accept a fresh cookie, baked by an actual grandma, freely offered by a girl who was kinder and more gracious than Rukia could ever hope to be.

There was an insistent rapping from the window.

“Fiddlesticks!” Hinamori exclaimed. “It’s like they know!” She scrambled to her feet and ran to unlatch the window.

Rukia watched the scene curiously. Sure, Renji snuck into her room, well, not all the time, but enough. But it seemed very strange that Hinamori, who apparently didn’t even know any curses, would also entertain forbidden visitors.

Kira Izuru tumbled into the room, followed closely by Renji, who was carrying a double load of books. “Oh, cookies!” he exclaimed before his feet had even hit the floor. “Are those Granny cookies?”

“They are,” Hinamori sniffed, “and you aren’t touching them until Rukia-san picks hers.”

Renji nudged Rukia with his foot. “Well, hurry up, slowpoke, climbing’s hungry work.”

Kira rummaged around in his kosode and pulled out a packet wrapped in beautiful mulberry paper. “I brought tea.”

“Oh, Kira-kun, this is the expen-- good kind!”

“My aunt sent it, she said to share,” Kira replied modestly.

“I’ll fetch some hot water! Who wants some?”

“Is it extra fancy?” Renji demanded. “You know Rukia and I only drink the stuff they serve the Soul King.”

“You’re so embarrassing,” Rukia muttered, selecting a cookie that looked a little brown around the edges.

“What’re we studying?” Renji asked, peering over her shoulder while grabbing no less than three cookies from the tin. “Kidou? Good thing, ‘cuz I am definitely gonna fail that, the way things are going.”

“Rukia-san and I will get you straightened out!” Hinamori promised. “I’ll be right back! Kira-kun, can you measure out the tea for me?”

Renji regarded Rukia out of the corner of his eye as he crammed his mouth full of cookie. “You having fun yet?”

“Hinamori-san is very kind,” Rukia replied flatly, through gritted teeth.

Renji gave one of her ponytails a little tug. “This is very cute. You and Momo look like twinsies.”

“Shut your fucking trap, Abarai, or I’ll tell her you said you wanted yours done up the same way.”

“For these cookies,” Renji declared, “I’ll let her put it in a French fucking braid.”

#500 follower drabble weekend #rukia kuchiki #momo hinamori #izuru kira #renji abarai #academy days #momo is trying so hard #rukia is immune to overtures of friendship #bless these awkward dorks #i love them #i only got one more in the queue #so don't hold back on requests if you got 'em #we're not gonna talk about how many words this one was

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lilietsblog · 6 years ago

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GHOST TRICK: THE BIG FINALE

so I finished the game yesterday all on my lonesome without internet

why yes I am perfectly fine and not emotionally compromised in the slightest

enjoy my screaming

IT'S GHOST TRICKING TIME which is to say it's ghost tricking time without internet so I'm doing this in wordpad tumblr really needs an 'import rtf' function >_>

SO from what I remember, when last we left off I was about to try to figure out how the fuck a knitted cap and a helmet are going to help me stop a bullet LET'S DIVE RIGHT BACK INTO THIS FOLKS

I still love how Sissel just ignores the dog's little 'WHATS A HOSTAGE O NO' instead of digging into explaining it

oh thank god the game DOES remember ive read this text before

...oh, I forgot how I did this the last time O WELL

all right, so I remember swiveling the lamp and dropping the hard hat, then when the knitted cap is over here I can swap it with the book and get it on the hook but how did I get the knitted cap over here

aha, he looked away for a moment, the helmet part is done what the fuck do i do now

AHA okay, so now i very quickly cart the ladder back and forth, I think I remember this

fuck, he noticed me, okay don't swivel the lamp while he's watching, swivel it while he's still looking away

I gotta note the 'I don't know why you're wearing my face' part HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

fuck, nope, I can't swivel the lamp back at that moment because he notices it clattering and turns right around FUCK OKAY LET'S TRY TO DO IT WITH THE LAMP THERE

ugh, if only I could do shit during the cutscene while he rolls away >_>

OK I SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE TRUST IN MISSILE HE IS GREAT AND A VERY GOOD DOG AND CAN AIM FOR SPLIT SECOND TIMING OF A BULLET BEING IN THE AIR OKAY

haha, and the knitted hat still hit Cabanela with enough velocity to knock him over I love this and I particularly love his dramatic leg up in the air he doesn't evne know what's happening he just aims to be the most dramatic possible at all times and it's really helping us out <3

'i love knitted hats... so warm, and most of all, so SOFT' <3 <3 <3

god Missile is so good this is pain IS THE DAWN DEADLINE A LIE MAYBE DID RAY JUST SAY THAT TO GET SISSEL'S BUTT MOVING I DON'T KNOW

oh yeah Cabanela's still got broken bones all over I kind of forgot about that

oh ok, looks less like broken and more like just really fucking bruised, becuase in that movement he's put pressure on all limb bones and nothing bent out of shape, so that's good

lmao and Cabanela's just like 'BUT IF I WAS KILLED IN THAT EXPLOSION THE SITUATION WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER' I I don't think it would necessarily work out that way, considering how much difficulty our protagonist was having saving just the professor :x

oh hey we've got our next source of information! should be quite a wellspring if Sissel remembers everything he should ask

yeeep Cabanela you FUCKED UP

oh, the gun :x

HON IM PRETTY SURE THE FIRST PART IS MORE IMPORTANT THE PART WHERE YOU TRIED TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM CORNERED RATS BITE THIS IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY YOUR FAULT, ALL OF IT

aha, those cases, okay

and Cabanela was doing the thing because of Jowd that makes sense -_- kind of

yep, that one little snag kind of puts a question mark on the whole thing alright, that almost makes sense? kind of? makes Cabanela kind of a selfish butt doing this for his own obsession rather than for personally Jowd but makes sense

ok, the bringing him to justice minister to buy time thing actually does make a lot of sense it wasn't A LOT of time that he bought but it was just enough and that's what counts

oh hey, this guy used to have the job that the blue fake stole? (and yeah sounds like blue guys are just foreigners -_- bc they couldnt find spies that didnt stand out visually or anything)

hum not a scratch, huh regenerating dead body, okay

oh come ON Sissel don't be surprised now that part was obvious from the moment he said the corpse disappeared the meteorite's radiation, okay, quite interesting :D

"it was like a meteorite had struck me on the head" so, has that been a cause of death today yet, because if it hasn't, this looks like foreshadowing -_-

hum, so the gun would have been loaded because he controlled Kamila, which she then wouldn't have a clear memory of makes sense

HI LYNNE JUST IN TIME

arrest her to keep her safe, that actually makes perfect sense IF ONLY IT HAD WORKED LMAO no wonder pigeon guy roasted him for that in the deleted timeline XD

"while he was at it" <3 <3 <3

awwww pigeon guy was friends with him too <3

hee right on top of his striped jumpsuit honestly he looked less escaped-from-prison-ish in the paint-splattered robe thing XD

a present, huh?

awww see Sissel you don't feel lonely and that's what counts

ALRIGHT THEN :D LET'S FUCKING GO :D AND, UH, DO SOMETHING, I GUESS I love how out of proportion Sissel's powers are rewind time, talk to dead people... and move small objects a little

so, uh, Sissel, are you sure there's answers for YOU over there or did you just get into habit of telling this to yourself to feel better

okay well how the fuck did Jowd infiltrate a fucking SUBMARINE like, I just want to know the physics of how this happened?

omfg the bullet had a radio transmitter well, I have a newfound respect for Cabanela, I gotta admit like I already respected him but I just figured he shot the guy out of a desperate 'can't do anything else might as well try this' urge to do SOMETHING but nope he had a plan (which would have worked even with him dead)

wow, and he actually gave the thing to Jowd beforehand n i c e

wow, okay, that's stealthy

aha, and he can totally leave his body and wander around freely I think that was already confirmed but it's nice to know for even surer

wow, okay, what the fuck re: that thing reaching up from below that definitely looked like... something else for a moment there 0.0

aand okay the meteorite is possible to extract from his body I wonder if evil!Sissel actually knew that... or if that actually did anything to him :D

okay, what the FUCK and how many more people are dead now

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MISSILE IS HERE TOOOOOOOO

the phone is ringing, how convenient :D

ooohkay this is tricky

so, why the fuck were there baseball and basketball balls hanging in nets under the ceiling on a submarine ... ... you know what I don't want to know

wait, Kamila can't hear him? oh, right, over the phone ghosts communicate by close range telepathy

aaand this makes the FIFTH time Lynne's dead tonight! or is it sixth? did i lose track somewhere?

AWWWW THIS SCENE IS LIKE AN OVERDOSE OF CUTE

'i wonder what happened THIS TIME' yep lmao

no actually 'i dont remember what happened after that' sounds like evil!Sissel to me, personally

but do you know what this wheel does Sissel are you sure turning it is a good idea

"I just sort of blacked out, the next thing I knew, I was dead" <3 <3 <3

"now it's all making even less sense than before" AND THAT'S SAYING *SOMETHING*

but actually okay yea this does kind of sound like an explosion that killed Lynne and knocked Kamila out

aaand nope I was absolutely correct )=

can this guy only puppet one body at a time? couldn't he have just possessed Lynne and had her slit her own throat or shoot herself or hang herself or something? that sounds a lot more productive than having a little girl fight her I mean, even if he only can puppet one body at a time, puppetting Lynne would have been a lot more productive overall, is there a reason he can't?...

or does he just love to do things in the most convoluted and roundabout manner typical to villains everywhere -_-

"nobody ever calls the dead" ARGUABLE a number of phone calls has been made this night specifically for the purpose of putting our!Sissel on the line

aand okay :D looks like the blue assholes saved Lynne just in time, sort of ...for a certain definition of 'saved'

so anyway this guy said something like 'you cannot possibly comprehend my suffering' so it would be funny if he was just a random dumbass that a bad thing hapened to one (1) time, which granted also killed him, but all the misery since then has been of his own making and he's put every single person involved in the events through worse just over the course of tonight, and simply has no sense of scale, perspective or proportion I think that would be great if the story went there XD EDITOR'S NOTE IN RETROSPECT: the story didn't go there and that was not fucking okay (it's dead women in the fridge again!)

and Sissel can't understand revenge as a concept SOUL TWINSIES WITH ME OR WHAT

lmao Lynne is starting to get touchy about how many times she's needed rescue lately XD

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY CAN'T I REACH FOR ANYTHING YET also, interesting to note that in the 4 minutes ago past, neither Lynne nor Kamila have a core looks like Sissel's interaction with this realm is limited after all, and not only by phones there's v interesting existential fuckery going on here, of the exact sort I ABSOLUTELY LOVE

oh THERE we go 'nobody ever calls the dead' ARGUABLE again and I love Lynne's signature instant-snap-into-hands-over-head animation + pose Good Reflexes

ALRIGHT, FIDDLING WITH RANDOM SHIT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT MIGHT DO TIME ...and that sure worked fast

hum, a random mechanic, alright

oh hon that's a, um, what's the opposite of exaggeration I know this word in Russian >_> over...littlification? that 'restless ghosts onboard' THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT THAT

lmao that was one odd fate change

alright, found the temsik fragment capsule, I see yay unexpectedly strong wastebucket lids (seriously, that's a whole freaking basketball, there's a reason the nets worked like that lmao)

alright, just watching the cutscene for now, that's fair this guy sure looks like he's going to abandon his entire crew and blow up the sub or something

"farewell, sir" WELL THAT DID NOT SOUND QUITE RIGHT

alright, and we're left in the capsule rather than the fragment which apparently did not have a core of its own for some reason

OMFG THERE'S A LITTLE RAT IN THE TORPEDO ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE INVOLVING A SMALL RODENT AGAIN BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND BUT ALSO THIS IS NOT HOW TORPEDOS WORK BUT ALSO HI RAT!!!

yeah exactly thanks Sissel! how the FUCK did it get here also I love that the characters DO pay attention to the wellbeing of innocent rats in this game <3

well, you COULD just try to get it to blow up earlier, in the water you'd be stuck but you'd be heroes, or something well, Lynne would go back to her body, Sissel would be stuck :D oh, and the rat would die, that's the bad news

YEAH LET'S SAVE THE RATTIE FIRST if this time the rat is going to be in the way rather than helping, well, I REALLY DO RESPECT THAT LET'S SAVE THE RAT

alright, after some trial and error I DID manage to get both weights in the same position (mostly by luck) and throw off the rat NOW TO SAFETY

alright, this looks promising OKAY IT ALSO LOOKS LIKE KAMILA AND LYNNE MIGHT BE SAFE FROM EVIL!SISSEL NOW THAT'S GOOD NEWS

yusss caring about rats ftw <3

that's what missiles do, huh they're unstoppable i dont know who it is i hear there but Missile is great yes

well, whatever this is, our!Sissel just turned it on maybe it's pumps to remove water!... not that they'll do much against an unplugged breach but

aha, okay, won't move for long

this movement through a machine's gears feels like the purest expression of the game's premise since the junkyard tricks at the very beginning <3

the way Kamila's speech kinda fades in from white? that worries me

...eeeyup

god but I love this game's animation. this little one of Lynne hoisting Kamila up on her back? it feels, like, PERFECTLY balanced with their weights and Lynne's strength and everything <3 <3 <3

oh my god Lynne why couldn't you just... be able to swim not that it would help much with Kamila unconscious but

oh my god Lynne is literally right here why do I still have trouble moving around freely???

oh, found it!

wow, she's climbing one-handed while carrying Kamila, that's some serious upper body strength <3

W E L P

YEP THAT'S SOME SERIOUS STRENGTH THAT SHE DIDNT JUST FUCKING FALL NOR DROP KAMILA

yeeep okay WOW

ARE YOU BOTH GOING TO DIE NOW OR WHAT okay, no, just fall, and not even in the water that's good news

LYNNE THIS IS NOT A POSE YOU WANT TO BE IN RIGHT NOW unless you're actually holding yourself against that shit in the background with your left hand and I just can't see it I guess

...nope, she was holding her chin LYNNE NO

MISSILE HURRAY

okay, the fan thing makes sense

now to swap around a bunch of broken pipes so they don't get in lynne's way, got it

FOR FUCK'S SAKE I REALLY DON'T SEE A WINNING COMBO HERE

aand I fucking lost but at least I got Sissel in position -_-

alright, now with one pipe turned off it actually works out easily it just... took me really long to realize I'd need Sissel for this one -_-

Lynne honey but have you considered: you have no fucking clue what's behind that door although presumably submarine has only been breached in one place and it's this room?

holy shit with the hook Sissel managed to hoist the combined weight of Lynne and Kamila now THAT's a nifty trick

SISSEL FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHE CAN'T MUSTER LEVERAGE FOR THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS TO HOLD HERSELF AND KAMILA UP AND SHE'S TIRED SHE CAN ASK FOR HELP EXCLUSIVELY IN SWAHILI SWEARS AND IT'D STILL BE A WAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH

aww, someone's saving us!!!

someone who commented on unstoppable missiles earlier, perhaps?

right, the truth... that's still relevant. while on a sinking submarine. yep

haha sinking submaries i have just been playing oxenfree haha

oh wow that's an improvised mechanism made out of garbage sticking in a close range telekinetic field nifty shit

oh oh okay that explains absolutely nothing evil!Sissel is not evil now, or what?

lmao this is getting more confusing, but like... in a very satisfying way <3

evil!Sissel still seems to have SOME amount of powers, at least, though possibly not the manipulating humans ones? but this amount of telekinesis is still incredible

so okay our Sissel's name possibly IS Sissel, but this dude's isn't I'm more confused than ever before I doubt there are three of them, so...

ahh, Lynne making Kamila more comfortable <3 <3 <3 and again, animation is fucking excellent. just, the timing of everything? it's better than 90% of all 3D animation I've ever seen in games

power and time, okay, got it so the dawn deadline IS real, just not for him wait, possibly not for Sissel and Missile, either?

I see he still fell in his signature ridiculous pose it's less funny now, overall

ah, okay, so the time effect is different too it seems to have been the same for Sissel and Missile though? is this a personality powers deal?

I love that Missile is perfectly comfortable with weird shit because as a dog, that's about the amount of understanding he has of his everyday surroundings, too <3

oh, hum so the moment this guy actually 'died' is the moment that blue guy took out the fragment?

wipe out everybody, huh

okay, so the shooting is as we knew, kind of

the first shot missed the mark, huh? quite curious, quite curious stray bullets are known to be deadly :D

alright, so that's a conversation that mostly confirmed what we already knew we have a new ally though, sort of

aand Lynne's empathy saves the day -_- like I said earlier, this guy's feelings aren't like... unique or anything, he just sucks at theory of mind

Kamila!!! so hey kiddo this guy in front of you is the guy who killed your mom

anyway, I'm still pretty sure Sissel hadn't yet introduced himself to you when you started calling him "Sissy" so there's that lead

and Kamila makes herself comfortable <3 I love this Little Lady so much <3

AWWWW THE RADIO THING <3 <3 <3

'and what about a torpedo' WHAT ABOUT A TORPEDO LYNNE THIS SOUNDS EXTREMELY UNSAFE

KAMILA ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE TOUGH AS FUCK

OMG IT'S A GRAPE SERVING MACHINE I LOVE THE LUXURIOUS FUCK THIS WAS MADE FOR

alright, torpedo room, that works

swap the switches to get them unstuck!!!

so I'm going to guess everyone there died, too, and Sissel's going to have to prevent that, too that makes perfect sense

that 'understand exactly how he feels' thing our!Sissel and evil!Sissel are really fucking different in this particular respect :D

awww and the girls convince the doggo <3 <3 <3

so, does Kamila know about the dawn deadline for all ghosts, or

oh thank god I didn't need to control that hop this game really has a policy of not having a permaloss option <3

Yomiel, huh so that's his name

alright, and 'Sissel' is an alias ...I'm just going to keep using it for the protag, just to make things slightly less confusing

ah, so this guy had access to national secrets, and that's how he did the singer thing

and he was proven innocent offscreen <3 <3 <3 stylish

stylish animation, nice

didn't help anybody? did you ever try? because our!Sissel sure figured that shit out quickly

welp, the blue guys are assholes but then, they were also kind of dealing with an asshole I can imagine why they didn't think he was reliable to deal with :x

awww, I like the leaflet guy so much <3 <3 <3

I love how Jowd's like 'well, I'm dead, are you happy now' and Sissel's like 'so anyway about that' FUCK death not tonight, not when Sissel's here <3 <3 <3

alright, and this guy's a robot that still doesn't quite he's pretty human-like >_> I am not a fan of the blue guy in charge is all I'm saying also lmao I nicknamed this one 'iron man dracula' i didn't mean it that way but

ah, remote-controlled, alright that 'farewell' was odd then

'your country's use of technology is just plain off' I LOVE THIS

could there have been two pieces of meteorite in this guy's body? okay, nope still!

OH WOW FOUR MINUTES BEFORE HIS DEATH THAT'S THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT THIS BODY BELONGED TO THE WRONG 'WHOM' THIS IS SOMEWHAT MORE AMBITIOUS THAN PLANNED BUT

...okay, no, his 'death' would actually be before the control room was launched, not all those years ago STILL THIS IS THE -EXACT- THING

alright anyway this is plenty of buildup WHO THE FUCK IS OUR PROTAGONIST it's funny how so far absolutely 0 of what we've seen has pointed to that I have plenty of odd thoughts in my mind ofc 'that guy from another point of time' being the prime one as a homestuck, the possibility of there being multiple ghosts of the same person doesn't faze me in the slightest in fact it seems like an intuitive conclusion BUT THEIR PERSONALITY SURE IS DIFFERENT

anyway, :D :D :D

Final Chapter

...aha! so it counted ten years ago after all! dang :D

aha, I see that mascot thing I see baby Lynne!!!

I note how for someone threatening to shoot the kid, Yomiel's gun sure is pointing in the wrong direction AND he's holding out the kid to the side, not between himself and Jowd SOMEONE sucks at hostage taking lmao

a kitty, huh

and then a meteorite, okay

I note the lamp

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Yomiel is thinking 'so maybe I'll die in another way and all this will have not happened, that's a better outcome anyway' isn't he god his faces are Sissel faces and look this game knows EXACTLY what it's doing with its visuals exactly one facial exression of Yomiel's has not matched Sissel's I doubt it's because of lazy artists

alright, so a good plan would be swapping the mascot and the lamp

but seriously, WOW Yomiel sucks at taking hostages this game's animation is always stellar and brilliant, there's NO fucking coincidence there he was absolutely not willing in any way to put baby Lynne in actual danger, even if he pretended he did and it worked on Jowd

anyway how the fuck do we get to the lamp

'we can talk about all this later' ARGUABLE TBH the entire, like, THING is going to change oh man is everyone going to go back to their bodies 10 years ago with their new memories because that's fucking hardcore was Kamila even BORN yet

augh I DONT KNOW I CANT REACH I THINK I CANT REACH ANYTHING WHAT DO I DO MISSILE IS IN THE SWEET POTATO ON THE FOUNTAIN SISSEL IS IN THE NOZZLE BUT NOT THE CENTRAL ONE AND CANT REACH THE CENTRAL ONE WHAT DO I DO

okay sounds like I missed my chance let's try that again

ghhhh okay I think I have figured this sequence out even though I have to rewind again 1) rock the basket 2) jump into nozzle to launch the potato 3) Sissel jumps into the potato and then from the potato to the central nozzle 4) Missile jumps into the potato 5) launch the potato x2

okay, Mino fell into the fountain, not that I know how this can help because AGAIN, Missile can't reach Mino from the lantern :x and Sissel can't do absolutely fucking anything

annd the finale is a cutscene alas

alright, let's try that again...

hum we didn't get a FATE CHANGE registered after dropping Mino might this mean we have to do something right in the process?

AW YEAH THAT DEFINITELY JUST HAPPENED LMAO

are we going to kill everyone by dropping Mino on them instead XD

trick time, huh Sissel still can't reach anywhere Missile can swap two identical lanterns, not that this does anything he can talk to Sissel, for what THAT's worth

aha, the lantern dropped, Missile can move around now, that's good

Sissel still can't do shit though

well, that's the detective's LEG, not... anything else or anything

oh man, yeah... YOUNG JOWD IS A DUMBASS man, even Yomiel isn't aiming at him anymore, he's like 'hey dude are you okay' so the theory that Sissel is alternate!Yomiel is really gaining steam in my head not that it wasn't the primary one all along but

AW FUCK YEAH MISSILE THE BULLET CATCHING BADASS DOGGO!!!

anyway sweet potato?

BOO YAH um or not

OR YES ACTUALLY THAT WORKS

OH MY FUCKING GOD YEP THE LAMPPOST FUCKING MINO

awwwwww and finally the trauma of remembering your death is brought up!!!! Sissel cares <3 <3 <3 (and Yomiel doesn't at the moment NOT THAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT IN CONTEXT) (then again I'd understand it if Sissel didn't either but he's the purest being in existence so)

awwww Yomiel is finally going to contribute!!!

omfg lmao "Make it spray as if your life depended on it!" "Uh, I'm dead though" Yomiel is winning ALL the sensitivity awards tonight <3 <3 <3

I I think that Yomiel hasn't done anything yet oh, okay, we're still winning time

holy FUCK Yomiel that was definitely a thing you just did

dear Young Jowd, Yomiel is the one who saved her. Not gods

awwww and he gave baby Lynne a detective's badge <3 <3 <3 he's so good with children <3

so, can Yomiel be alive please :x ALRIGHT, HE IS THAT WORKS

THE KITTY DID THE METEORITE KILL THE KITTY

wait wait wait is is Sissel the kitty is that why he has no idea how guns work or anything else like that that that is truly fucking incredible f y'all's i AND I GUESS IT FITS WITH HIM AND MISSILE JUST GOING AROUND SAVING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE A BADASS DUO AND IT FITS WITH HIM GETTING KILLED BY LYNNE'S FIRST SHOT ON ACCIDENT I HONESTLY CONSIDERED A RAT OPTION FOR LIKE A SPLIT SECOND THERE

OMG OMG OMG OMG YE S AND HIS NAME REALLY IS SISSEL

god jesus fucking christ this this fucking game i just im howling this this definitely is a thing that just happened it owned me so hard im so fucking owned right now

yep hes the cat he's Yomiel's cat

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww there's a good reason he had identity confusion in all this they WERE confusable as one being for a while

'her' huh?

oh man wow THIS particular part of the story sucks

so Sissel was a girl's name all along? okay

but also, FUCK no wonder he went bonkers specifically about being unable to die

'his powers couldnt help anybody' more like they couldn't help ONE SPECIFIC PERSON

so that bag is a kitty carrier huh and Lynne's miss accidentally killed the kitty

LMAO THE PART WHERE WE ALL THOUGHT LYNNE HAD KILLED THE PROTAG WASN'T WRONG

I DAMN FUCKING REMEMBER THAT CAT JUST FOR YALLS I I ABSOLUTELY REMEMBERED THERE WAS A CAT THERE I JUST NEVER LINKED IT TO ANYTHING I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A VERY PRETTY RANDOM STRAY

anyway Yomiel that's what you get for playing with guns they're deadly weapons and result in death you're fucking welcome

so anyway who the fuck is Ray

but anyway kitty Sissel saved everyone...

okay but hold on hold on hold on I didn't quite get the implications about the fiancee the first time around WHAT THE FUCK CAPCOM i was just recently thinking how fucked up it was that I remembered the last name of Polly Jenkins, just because of how much her brief story shook me

and uh I think is that also the implication here because that's not fucking okay

anyway so did Yomiel die as the result of that or nay bc that looked fucking deadly if not instantaneously so

god but this ffucking game

this fucking... game

oh Missile I'm pretty sure YOU are going to see HIM alright lmao wasn't Jowd taking him home

but also damn the original events of these ten years, as remembered by - a dog and a cat - Detective Jowd and Kamila (but not Alma, who never was brought back to life directly) - Lynne - Cabanela - the medical examiner - the minister of justice AND NO-ONE ELSE ...wait, no ALSO THE GUY FROM THE FUCKING PARK ...yep that's a thing we're doing

so another important thing is that the rock star kid is going to be okay and the curry guy, too nothing bad happened to them in this timeline, right?

ALRIGHT HI RAY WHAT/WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

(right now my bet's on 'a rat')

oh, Sissel also killed two people tonight, that happened

lmao and in this version of evens Missile died in the presence of Temsik

omfg and Ray is alternate!Missile this is fucking amazing <3

lmao his ghost aged and lost its powers?

also the dawn deadline was a lie he just wanted to get Sissel's butt moving I FUCKING KNEW IT

I love how Sissel's just "I DID WHAT" even though he's been doing that all evening this time around too

yup doggie's a fucking liar the only real time limit is the lifetime they would have had if they were alive huh damn

but seriously I called that before I started this section of the liveblog even if I think I never actually made that post 'what are the odds Ray is a fucking liar' I don't think I ever wrote that I kept getting distracted but yep I fucking called this

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART GOD I AM ;U; THIS DOGGO

anyway one participant of the events who definitely wasn't born yet 10 years ago is indeed Missile 0.0 how's that... gonna work...

but I do love that just... the justice minister, of all people, is also going to be in possession of those 10 years

OH MY FUCKING GOD LYNNE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK I KNOW THERE'S NO GUN BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KAMILA WHAT THE FUCK DON'T FUCKING DO THAT THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

aawwwwwww IT WORKED THIS TIME AROUND

'nice to meet you' OH BOY OH BOY I GET HOW IT WORKS NOW I THINK ...uh, I'm not sure how Lynne knew to flee from the junkyard then, but either way it looks like they're only getting back their memories at the PRESENT and that's why Kamila didn't fUCKING KNOW AND REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH DOING THAT JUST NOW

LMAO SOMETHING'S GOING TO EXPLODE TONIGHT

oh, nevermind, it's not that yet :D but it really does sound like it's going to :D right... about... dawn? :D

aww Jowd actually carries toy badges with him everywhere <3 <3 <3 'child handling tools'

still a kitten, huh yeah, that whole Temsik thing :D

aww, and here's her, all alive and everything

SO BIG MEMORYSPLOSION PLEASE

(at dawn) (it's fucking coming that's my headcanon and you can't beat it) (a bunch of people are going to become really fucking traumatized tonight)

hey!!! Missile!!! Cabanela brought him, huh

so, what's up with Yomiel, anyway

COME ON SISSEL MAKE NICE WITH MISSILE HE CAN'T CLIMB UP THERE

that guy's imitating Cabanela lmao

Memry <3 <3 <3

very best customer, huh

AWWW ITS THIS GUY HI GUY YOU'RE OKAY NOW WITHOUT YOMIEL TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU'RE JUST FINE

hah, and these two

.............................................yup. they died

'the indescretions of a minister perhaps?' I LOVE THIS FUCKING LADY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

ah, these two what deal is it this time

the little rock sinter guy!!! yeah!!!!

hi medical examiner guy <3 guess you're not doing medicine after all huh

HI LEAFLET PARK GUY YOU ARE STILL CUTE

HI BAILEY

oh man oh man Yomiel :D hey are talking about Yomiel :D

SHOW ME HIS FIANCEE YOU COWARDS

lmao he's the painter this time even the robe sits the same

SO SHOW ME

OH YEAH OH YEAH HE REMEMBERS THATS THE PICTURE OF THE FUCKING CAT AND NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT

YUP YUP THIS IS IT lmao that crane i sure do remember it well it murdered two people tonight <3 <3 <3 kitty <3 <3 <3

aw yeah! in that picture with Missile!!!

#douche mcpointyglasses #is she dead #(for quite a while there the answer was 'basically yes')#cute shoes #dance dance inspector #the mysterious him #alba dracula #iron man dracula #sexy lamp #ddoggo!!!#those are all the character tags i remember #liliet plays ghost trick #this has been A FUCKING TRIP #i love this game

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forestwater87 · 7 years ago

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“JASPER DIES AT THE END” (S2E5) MASTERPOST: THE WRITERS ARE BRILLIANT (AND DAVID IS CUTE, TO NO ONE’S SURPRISE)

Hey guys, you know what everyone wants to talk about with this exciting episode that teases major character death and angst?

A book about a monster made of frozen meat!

No? Just me? Well fuck it, I’ll save the John Dies at the End talk for the end of this post, but someone is going to listen to me freak out about it, okay?! Because it is goddamn brilliant!

First though: Baby Davids.

SO MANY BABY DAVIDS.

This is actually not a Baby David. It might be hard to tell, considering he’s an adorable baby, but this is actually a grown fucking man.

Which makes the fact that he’s driving a car pretty reassuring, I guess.

Although he must stop making that tiny little pout mouth, because I might actually dehydrate myself from crying so many tears.

It’s so cute. It’s too cute.

David, I’m really gonna need you to keep your eyes on the road more than 30% of the time.

Good boy.

Also, is his steering wheel at dick height? That . . . seems wrong, somehow. Where is it?

(Also HopefullyPessimistic pointed out that he’s not wearing a seatbelt. To be fair, I don’t think this car has seatbelts, at least not in the front, but that’s not very safe!)

DAVID

LOOK AT THE FUCKING ROAD

Thank you.

GODDAMN IT YOU’RE A BAD DRIVER!

Anyway, they’re all going to the hospital because the kids glued Space Kid to cardboard, I think? And apparently this isn’t something that can be cured by, like, putting him in water until the glue and cardboard dissolve.

To be fair, I wouldn’t trust whatever chemicals are put into the glue Campbell buys (and let’s be real, probably makes). It might be a good idea to seek immediate medical attention.

Why are the kids there?

Shh, don’t ask questions. Just look at how cute Max and Nikki are.

See, isn’t that better?

Anyway, Nikki gets David talking about his time as a Camp Campbell camper just like they are now! (Seriously, how many fucking times has David used those exact words?)

David is overjoyed!

(And adorable.)

(And still not looking in even the general direction of the road!)

Max is . . . less so.

Nikki’s face!

David please, you’re gonna kill someone!!

At this point Max gets so upset he apparently starts tripping balls. Or . . . maybe they all do? Maybe this is the result of glue fumes?

I can’t imagine it’d make David’s driving any worse, at least.

And now . . . flashback time! Which means . . . CUTENESS AHOY!!!!

Oh.

This . . . is not what I was hoping for.

If Campbell could just try not to look like he’s eye-fucking the audience I’d really appreciate it. He’s like his very own Workplace Sexual Harassment video.

Baby Jasper is precious. I realize that there is no non-baby Jasper so calling him “baby” is a bit unnecessary, but . . . look at him. He’s such a baby!

The way Campbell defers to QM is oddly sweet. I wanna know more about their relationship.

I’m gonna need someone to explain to me how that moth is alive after being presumably squished between the pages of the book. Also how the Quartermaster is reading without looking at the words.

There is no good way for me to animate QM’s mustache, but trust me, it moves when he talks and it looks kinda like an octopus swimming and I find it unreasonably endearing.

UH OH GUYS

WE GOT TROUBLE

HIS NAME IS DAVEY

AND HE’S THE TOUGHEST OH MY GOD I CAN’T HE’S JUST SO FUCKING CUTE SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOKIT HIS LITTLE FACE AND HIS NEAT LITTLE HAIR POOF OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD

Ahem. Anyway.

Glad to see that David never outgrew his “pushing people out of the way, often literally to the ground” phase. He’s apparently been doing that since . . . 9? 10?

Okay, is it just like a rule that female counselors have to have hair that does that? This two-tone thing is ridiculously confusing, though at least this one doesn’t look like a hat.

. . . Wh-where did you get that can from, David? Where on your tiny body did you fit it?

Gasp!

No, honestly, that does upset me. Don’t litter; it’s disrespectful and disgusting and grown-up David would be very disappointed.

Davey would like you to know that he thinks nature is stupid. At least, that’s what I think he’s saying; it’s hard to concentrate because he sounds like Mickey Mouse with a sore throat.

Also he keeps making faces that are so cute I almost drown out the dialogue by screaming.

I know I call David a kitten too much, but look at me and tell me you don’t see an angry kitten. Actually, don’t tell me, just unfollow me, because we clearly will never agree on anything important.

Boyfriends? Boyfriends.

BOY. FRIENDS.

You might think breaking out “square” and “dang” are cheesy even for David, but this was probably like 2002 or so? It’s a little-known fact, but obscenities actually weren’t invented until 2004, most people believe with the success of Lil Jon. So this was actually appalling for the time period.

Davey gets to go on some magical probably-vaguely-racist nature quest with Jasper and Campbell! And boy, is he thrilled!

There are going to be a million comparisons to young Davey and Max by everyone who watches this episode, which makes totally sense because they’re so similar and it explains so much about David’s attitude toward him and his refusal to never give up and all that.

It sounds like there’s a “but” at the end of that, but there isn’t. It’s just going to happen a lot. And that’s a pure and good thing.

I need adult David to roll his eyes even, like, a tenth as much as Baby David does. It’s so fucking cute it hurts.

Jasper is a good good boy.

You know, I have a crimelord/FAHC AU where the Quartermaster is Campbell’s right-hand man.

I’m starting to think that maybe it’s actually the other way around.

(Also David’s being totally unimpressed and Jasper’s general confused faces are so good.)

Cam, never make that expression again. Please. For the children.

David actually says “SIGH.” Even as a “bad boy” he’s the biggest fucking dork.

So they’re off! Exploring! They don’t get very far, but Davey’s face goes on a motherfucking journey all its own. Join me, won’t you?

The noise I made at this face was inhuman. I sounded like someone had stepped on my throat really hard.

That was an adventure of a lifetime, and I hope you all enjoyed taking it with me!

I literally wrote “Max” instead of “David.” I’m just not used to see that little face so angry.

This is the “check out the balls on new kid” moment for Davey, when he seems actually kinda impressed that Jasper’s telling Campbell they’re lost. Sure, Jasp isn’t a new kid, but his “this oughta be interesting” expression is great.

“We are FUCKING lost!”

No, he didn’t say that. How great would it have been, though?

Actually, @hopefullypessimistic84 has my new favorite theory, and I’m just gonna paste it here because it’s genius:

since David was the one telling the story to the trio...we don't know for sure Davey said "Darn"

The boy could've been saying some no-no words

I’ve adopted this as canon. Jasper had to learn how to swear somewhere, right?

I have no comments. David is just like 75% eyes and it’s very important to me.

David: torn between resentment and admiration for Jasper (and probably Campbell). And crossing his arms like a little dweeb.

I feel like we need to have a a conversation about how Jasper looks exactly like Griffin McElroy. (To me, anyway. I might be the only one who sees it.) Which came first, the design or the voice?

David is perfect and Campbell gives no fucks.

Some cute Jaspers, mostly for HopefullyPessimistic but let’s be real, we all need some cute Jasper in our lives.

Have I mentioned that Davey is cute? Seriously, there’s like nothing else to this post. He sounds like Mickey Mouse and looks like a ball of sunshine had a baby with a kitten.

JESUS CHRIST, CAMPBELL

Can we talk about how David knew Campbell was going to kill him? Because he’s the one telling this story, after all.

Sad David is my favorite thing. Sad Baby David is even better oh my god.

“I know I’m a bad kid —”

“I’m rotten to the core!”

Sweetie, you're like if a Chihuahua got bitten by a radioactive young Haley Joel Osment and transformed into the cutest thing on the planet.

You’re no Max.

Can we just have a conversation about how Davey looks when he says “and even if I’m not as good as he is”?

Baby

BABY

How deep does this inferiority complex go?! When did it start?! WHO KEEPS TELLING YOU YOU’RE NOT AS GOOD AS OTHER BLONDE-HAIRED BLUE-EYED TWINKS I’LL FUCKING PUNCH THEM DAVID YOU’RE SO PERFECT AND LOVABLE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SHHH DON’T BE SAD

Seriously, though, this is goddamn heartbreaking. He’ll later say that saving Jasper was reaching his “full potential” — and I mean, yeah saving someone’s life is pretty fucking impressive, but at ~10 years old he shouldn’t consider being the sidekick to someone else’s story his main accomplishment.

Baby. Don’t do this to me. I can’t handle these feelings.

BRAVEHEART!

There are times where I just have pictures and no commentary, and I ask myself if I should just not include those pictures, because I don’t have anything interesting to say about them. And then I look at this motherfucker’s face and think no, this deserves to be stared at.

Stare at it, guys.

I should point out how cute all the kids look, but I’m pretty sure the only thing that exists for me right now is DAVID’S FACE WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN LOOKING AT MY BOYYYYYYY

(Also good job letting those eyebrows grow in, babe. It wasn’t a great look.)

This is the closest David will get to rolling his eyes as an adult, and we need to appreciate it.

NIKKI WHERE IS YOUR SEATBELT

THIS DRIVE IS SO UNSAFE

I AM SO STRESSED

These images are good and pure.

Wait wait wait wait WAIT

TWINSIES! (Or . . . same-person-sies. Whatever, he kept this expression into adulthood and I am here for it.)

As David’s mouth gets smaller, so do the colored parts of his eyes. You know what I’m going to say about this.

Is this post too long? Yes. Is it going to stop me? Nope!

DON’T FUCK WITH DAVEY. HE’LL FUCK YOU UP.

God this post is getting stupid

Look at him prance! That’s the intimidating prancing of someone who is gonna fuck you up

Jasper has been underrepresented here, which is a shame because he’s a lovely child and wait where’s the second half of that bear?

I mean, it’s standing on its hind legs, right? But . . . where’s the rest of it?

@ciphernetics pointed out that if Jasper had lived, he would’ve had these big scars across his chest and David would kiss them and now I want to cry so fucking thanks for that, Netics. Let’s all be sad together.

Does anyone else get a weird “Scuttle looking at human objects” vibe from this? Just me?

Just me, then.

Don’t point that there, Campbell! That’s how lawsuits start!

David is not fucking around.

NOT. FUCKING. AROUND.

(Honestly, I’m slightly amazed that he got out of this forest alive. By the way, if I’m lost in the wilderness, please just use technology to save me. I don’t give a single fuck.)

David is the O.O face. He just is.

“I’ve seen bears do some pretty crazy things before.”

What . . . what kind of impossible things, Cam?

Why are you making that face, Cam?

Was it . . . was it sex things?

Look at little detective Davey! He’s my Scooby son and he can’t do anything without looking like a total dork and I love him more than life itself.

Here we have Heartbreak OH SHIT: A Triptych

(shoutout to Lemony Snicket for teaching me what a triptych is, btw. I swear I’ve learned more from those books than actual school.)

LOOK AT DAVID’S FUCKING SWEET MOVES!

Okay, someone explain to me how he could avoid getting stabbed/clawed/stomped on by three bears two bears and a maniac, yet cannot avoid damage from a single solitary bus? What happened to your moves, Davey?

Oh my sweet Jesus LOOK AT THIS FACE GUYS

Also I might just be a monster, but my response to these events would absolutely be “HOLY SHIT THAT’S THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!” not “hey you didn’t have to murder the bears.”

I mean, you kids realize that bears . . . run? Trust me, you weren’t getting far without some good ol’-fashioned bear murderin’.

Fuck, I can’t believe I just complimented Campbell. Ew. Ew. Ew, this feels wrong and weird and gross, like when you fall asleep without brushing your teeth. Ugh, let’s move on.

Well, they seem to have recovered. (Good. Appreciate the awesome.)

I’d also like a story about how the 3 of them carried those bears down a mountain, but I guess that’s for another flashback.

He absolutely thinks he’s gonna get in trouble here and my heart cannot handle it. Honey, please. Tell me who hurt you.

Thaaaaat’s unsettling.

I mean, it’s not, it’s adorable, but eyes shouldn’t do that. Makes me wonder if Campbell slipped him something up on that mountain.

Wouldn’t put it past him, is all I’m saying.

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS!

LOOK HOW MUCH JOY HE’S GETTING OUT OF FEELING WORTHWHILE FOR ONCE IN HIS SHORT LIFE wait a second.

That’s awful.

Does David seriously love Camp Campbell because it’s the first time he’s actually felt like he accomplished something? Is this episode actually really fucking depressing and not in the way we all assumed it would be?

Shhhh don’t think about it! Look at how cute he is instead!

Awww I just wanna snuggle him. And give Jasper immediate medical attention.

(Seriously, Campbell, the fuck.)

Here we have a grizzled old man stealing a small child’s nipple. I know it’s too high let me have this goddamn joke okay

I’d call David an asshole for not caring about Jasper’s sadness, but considering how much this episode made me feel like crying in a corner already, I think it’d be pretty mean to shit on this poor kid’s happiness by pointing out what a jerk he is.

Besides, we don’t know Jasper. He was kinda a dick in the beginning of this episode too — though to be fair this was all told by David, so I have to wonder how much of that was his obvious hatecrush.

“Ha, look at me! I’m so great! Don’t you . . . don’t you think I’m great, Jasper? Jasper, are you seeing this? How great I am?”

H A T E

C R U S H

Cute cute cute cute cute

Also um the fuck

David

This is why people on Tumblr call you gay

It’s this

All of it

All of the this

Going off to hit on/brag at his depressed totally-not-crush. Guys I ship this so hard.

Okay but

what am I supposed to SAY here?!

He’s beautiful!

He makes me want to cry!

I made a legitimate squeaking noise at the cuteness of these pictures!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, DAVID?!

WHY ARE YOU SUCH SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS?!

Fuck this fuck. Ruined my stellar commentary. (Ha, yeah okay.)

And now for the part I actually wrote first because I’m too excited, and nobody else will care about!

John Dies at the End is a novel by David Wong (who also serves as the narrator; think Lemony Snicket, if he was a drug-addicted depressed nihilist asshole who . . . okay, just think Lemony Snicket). It’s also a movie; I haven’t seen it, I keep meaning to, I’ve heard mostly-good things. The book is a masterpiece and I love it so goddamn much.

So what does it have to do with Rooster Teeth?

Well, the title’s an obvious nod, which Miles has just straight-up said. But also the titular John is an upbeat, recklessly gung-ho guy always eager to jump into anything, which usually leads him into getting into trouble — and dragging Dave, the reluctant, cynical asshole who wants nothing to do with these adventures, into shit with him. Now who does that sound a bit like?

It’s something of a stretch, but I don’t think it’s too far off: Jasper is John, the energetic do-gooder with a serious ego — hell, they even have the same place in the title — and David is Dave Wong, the reluctant hero who despite not wanting anything but to be left alone, ends up doing the right thing because he just can’t fucking not when shit gets real and no one else is willing to step up.

And then, obviously the major reference is in the fact that John does not die at the end of John Dies at the End. I’m honestly upset that I didn’t see the end of this episode coming, because the title basically tells you, if you picked up on the reference, that Jasper will absolutely live.

Which he does.

Also the sense of humor is a great combination of deeply poignant and so immature you can’t believe actual adults sat down and wrote it. So, obvious parallels.

THESE WRITERS. THEY ARE SO FUCKING GOOD.

(This is what being an English major does to you, kids. It’s not good for your social life. You will overanalyze everything. Obviously I highly recommend it.)

#campcamp #campcamp season 2 #john dies at the end #cc jasper #cc david #cc campbell #cc qm #cc quartermaster #david wong #campcamp masterpost #to be fair david didn't die and get replaced by a hell-dimension version of himself with an identical personality and memories #(that we know of)#so it's not a 1:1 comparison #also there was no meat monster #which is a shame because that part scared the shit out of me #my stuff #no proofreading #not this time

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rndyounghowze · 5 years ago

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Triple Threat Workshop Launches Brilliant TYA Tour with Junie B. Jones in a City Near You, NJ

By Ricky and Dana Young-Howze

Triple Threat Workshop got all up in my and Dana's "top secret personal beeswax" with the first showing of Junie B. Jones the Musical which will soon be touring to a venue near you! This hot musical by Marcy Heisler and Zina Goldrich is based on four of Barbara Park's wonderful books and will be going on tour all summer! The show directed by Caitlin Geisser was a laugh riot from beginning to end!

Now Junie B. Jones is a very funny kid and on the first day of first grade I'll tell you what she did. Her once bestie Lucille no longer wants to pal around and her other friend on the bus has let her down. New kid Herb seems like a decent guy when her other friends have left her high and dry. But in Mr. Scary's room Junie B. wants to run for the door when she might need glasses because she can't see the board! But at the kickball tourney she'll wow and amaze as they tell us the story of her hectic school days!

I think that St. Peter's Lutheran Church was the perfect proving ground for Caitlin Geisser's direction. This is a play that will be done in multi-purpose rooms and gymnasiums, not a stage with fancy lights and sound. Knowing that your play kills for an audience sitting on steel folding chairs is way better than knowing that the singing reaches the balcony that won't be there. I believe that this show could adapt to anything you throw at it. And when you hear that they perfected this show in only five rehearsals it just makes your head spin!

Junie B Jones (played by Gabriella Prato) really showed off her chops and her high energy that we've seen her use in other productions but somehow was able to dig down and pull out even more. Dana found it amazing that she could do her kid-like voice in perfect pitch. No one else was doing a character voice quite as hard as she was.

Herb (Played by Jake Ewan) was the perfect foil to Prato's energy. When you have such a loud and crazy energy in your scene partner you need that kind of soft and quiet energy to balance it out.

If you think its very hard to be the adults in a room full of kids you should know that Mom (Rachel Maselek) and Dad (played by Dylan Glick) don't know what you're talking about! These two really hold their own and wow us by not only playing Junie B Jones's parents but a teacher, a bus driver, and a superstar lunch lady. They really hold nothing back!

Lucille (played by Andrea Ellis) is absolutely best in her cheerleading scenes but she's also a top notch dancer! You really have to just watch her shine!

Camille and Chenille (played by Juliana Giordano and Amanda Ellis) really reminded me of girls I knew from school. I really liked how they leaned into playing such a crazy duo of divas and it's great to know that they're totally twinsies IRL. And then you find out that they actually helped choreograph a lot of the dances and I'm just wowed even further!

Grace (played by Mikayla Bailey) is making her Triple Threat debut with this tour and what a baptism by fire it is! I love her energy and her enthusiasm for Theatre for Youth. She really does have an infectious exuberance which I hope you'll catch when you get to see her perform!

Bobbie Jean Piper (played by Sophia Everingham) is our youngest performer but also has a really important role. She is the understudy for the lead which means she has to learn both her role AND Junie's. I hear tell that she's going to get a performance as Junie all her own but I feel that she shone last night just the same.

Shirley (played by Ali Maselek) had a voice that overpowered the clanging of her cymbals! Her performance made me laugh the hardest! Seriously I really think she comes at the performance so hard there's nothing left when she gets off the stage!

May (played by Lena Dougherty) is a great example of something you'll see me applaud all the time which is "stage presence"! If you don't have a lot of lines or you're not the "lead" it doesn't mean that you can't make sure we know you're there. Every actor should make sure they "print" indelibly in our brains so that we as audience members have something of them to take home with us. Many of our young performers did that last night but I feel like Miss Dougherty really did it best!

Emma Kelly is a young performer you're not going to miss not just because she's one of the tallest onstage but because as an ensemble she's in almost every dance number! And she's the swing which means she has to fill any role in case a young performer is ill. You just gotta see her strut her stuff!

Lennie (played by Calista Boxczyk) not only picks up a pair of pom poms and shows us her kick ball team spirit but she also looks dang cute in a bow. It's hard to be a dancer in the background and make us notice you in the cheap seats and she really is one of my favorites!

This show is full of so many cool musical numbers! And talk about the wonderful choreography! Come on how in the world can a silly song about a lunch box give me so much joy!?! And what right do these kids have to be so on point singing and dancing about a cafeteria lady!?! This show is full of moments like this where you're just giggling and grinning from ear to ear and you don't know why. And these kids go all out! It's one thing to dive into your role of Sandra Dee for Grease or your Seymour in Little Shop but these kids are so jubilant and close-knit that they're all one big ensemble starring onstage together! What a magnificent thing for a touring show!

TYA tours are a fun and important kind of Theatre. They are often the very first live play that a young child will see. I can vividly remember several shows that I saw in school gymnasiums and back lawns that really shaped everything I like about the theatre. I also believe it's the hardest kind of theatre to do and this is coming from a guy who's done it before many times. You have to be on your toes all summer long in many different environments. I really think that these kids with Geisser's direction will handle anything that comes their way.

If you want to book this tour for your summer program you should email Miss Geisser directly at [email protected]. They will come and put this show on for you and knock your socks off! A show like this is going to get booked up quickly so get hold of them now!

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queen-mabs-revenge · 8 years ago

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I agree with the critical post you reblogged but i dont get what you mean by their pasts are being obliterated? The virignal coding of emma?

This took a while, but I really wanted to think about it,and it’s still messy and vague, so be ye warned. To be honest, this reply got backspaced a load of differenttimes because you got me really considering the depths of why I feel this way.

My immediate answer was that what I see (in this whole 6B arcespecially) is Killian Jones, previously defined by his previous role of command,the things he holds sentimental and dear, his visual cues, and his familial ties havingall that tucked away or dismissed in favour of neutralising his threatening (in many ways) past and defining his happy ending as becoming Emma 2.0: Storybrooke deputy.

With Emma, it’s less striking, because it’s Killian that’s assimilatingto her world, but it’s there, too, but more subtly? Emma whose points of prideare her ability to find people and to read people having those thingsneutralised to allow for plot to move forward in a suitably dramatic fashion (see: not reading Killian at all and not looking for him when he was missing)?

That rankles me, but that’s not really an answer, I don’tthink. Why does that rankle me? Whydo I feel so bone-deep that these things that I see being swallowed by thenarration are something that the characters hold as dear as I do? Maybe they’reOK letting these things go as they evolve into their new lives happily everafter?

But that’s the thing. That’s the reason why. I just postedthis bit earlier because it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks: the reason why the “happyending” we’re getting for these characters feels strange and ill-fitting to me,is because I’m trying to define their happy endings by what I’ve actually seenthem happy about on the show, not just what makes them not sad/stressed/angry, and I’m not seeing those very, very, few things reflected at all in what we’re getting.

I think one of the problem this show has, is thatit doesn’t really do a great job of establishing sources of joy for its main characters.Supporting characters are often given a passion that exists as the key tosolving a dilemma: Merida has her archery, Ariel has her collections, and eventhough she’s more than a bit role, Belle has her books. Hell, Henry has hismusic, movies and writing, and Regina has her horses. We’ve seen these characters light up like Christmas trees when talking about these things. I can pictureAriel as a museum curator in a heartbeat because I know that tending a collection is something thatmakes her little merheart sing (free AU prompt! Omg come on that would beadorable!)

So what is it for Emma and Killian? When do we see themexcited and happy about things? When do they describe their pleasure?

Not fucking much, tbh.

(haha my long winded ass continues below the cut!)

For Killian, what immediately jumps to mind is him describingthe concept of what he does as a pirate to Milah in 5.14: sailing where onewill and answering to no crown – he gets all excited and scoots forward as hedescribes the foreign lands he’s been to – travelling and discovery and thefreedom to do so make him happy. His ship makes him happy – the face on himwhen walks into it after Ursula gets it back for him? I mean, come on. He takespride in his competence as a “hell of a captain”. He’s got like a friggin loveaffair going on with the ocean and “the full moon on the waves” and whateverelse.

Obviously Emma makes him happy, Henry makes him happy, beinga part of the family makes him happy – but outside of others, those are hiscanon-established kicks.

Emma is a bit more difficult for me. We’ve got her foodpreferences down pat. She takes fierce pride in her independence and ability tobuild herself up in any situation – “this is who I am”. We see her littlegleeful grin when asserting that “Emma Swan always gets her man” because she’sgood at searching, knowing what to look for, and bending the rules to do so. Her‘superpower’ give her confidence. We’ve gotten hints that she’s taken joy inartistic things before, but only those hints of her art portfolio Ingrid keptand we didn’t hear her actually react to it other than what was relevant to theproblem at hand. We know she likes to read Harry Potter and that it made herhappy growing up. Maybe she likes filming things?

And again, obviously she’s happy when she’s with her son,her parents, her friends and her boyfriend.

But that’s it. That’s what we have to go on? So I’m rankledthat it seems that the only things that are established asgiving Killian pleasure outside of people, are being dismissed as his past life, and not only not relevant to hishappy ending, but the shedding of those things being set up as the final stage of his redemption arc. But beyond that, thiswhole exercise has made me really contemplate why this happy ending plot feelsso empty for the both of them, IMO…

And it’s because, jeez, that’s all we have to go on to suss out what makes them happy? What’s their motivation beyond not dying this week and smiling at each other?

(When people ask for domestic moments, I really feel likethis is the crux of what they’re asking for – a scene of them at home watching Netflix might give an idea of something that Emma’s developed a little obsession for. A hint that maybe she’s picked up painting again because it’s something she genuinely enjoys as a person? A scene of them chilling on his ship might have her interrupting him duringsome kind of fucking hobby of his that literally doesn’t have to be explained,but by virtue of being there would have a rounding effect. Other shows do this. Fanfic does this. It’s not a far-out concept.)

We have so damned little about what gives these charactersjoy, because every second is jam packed with Another Fucking Baddie – and Ithink that they realised that as they were coming up to this possible end of aseries. When you harp on and on about A HAPPY ENDING for so long, but put sovery little into establishing what happiness is other than…not being separated?Not being attacked? Not being…dead? Destined to die? What the hell do you dofor your characters to give them their personalised happiness when they don’thave a damned hobby or interest (or when you dismiss that interest)?

And the answer is that you can’t. So you have to give them apre-fab, super co-dependent happy ending that has mass-market appeal. Hence Socially TraditionalMarriage Beats In A 10 Episode Arc! Complete With Parent-zillas! And StockWedding/Engagement Imagery! Very-Important-Bc We-Tell-You-It-Is Location!Someone Else’s Dress! Standard Suit in Super Edgy Velvet! And then riding offin to the sunset as job twinsies, forever and ever. Cute times. But again, ifeverything about what makes Killian happy is to be cut out of his life in orderto justify his redemption, what the hell else is there for him to do in townbut to be pushed into the hero mould to the final degree by making him join thesheriff’s office?

(To be completely honest, I’m skirting the virginal codingquestion because I need to think about it more, and because this is hella longalready, but I think there’s been more of a push in that direction to get Emma,established as non-traditional, to fit this traditional storyline. Same withKillian. But again, I haven’t really thought this one through so I’m notprepared to get super in depth on it.)

So yeah, conclusion? TL;DR? I think that this happy endingseems pastede on yey because

we don’t really know what makes these peopleindividually happy and so a stock happy ending is as good as it’s going to get

what little information we do have about what give them joy has beenaxed as them ‘shedding their old, stunted selves’.

#Anonymous #ouat spoilers #ouat critical #ouat meta #ouat negativity #ish #in the vaguest sense like i'm just being observational about the show so idk #cs critical #like idk if that's a tag ppl care about but i guess this is kind of that

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jenncognito · 8 years ago

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The Nine Spell Sisters You’ll Meet in the Cactus Garden of Insta

If you've found this blog lovely, deep down you already know you have a serious problem. It’s cool. As useless as reading this will be to save your wallet, you’ll find some peace in knowing we’re in this together. So let’s get on with the first step in solving acknowledging our shared problem by admitting that some or all of the following shit has been going on lately:

“We”* have been frantically Googling Spell and the Gypsy Collective, Joplin Jacket or worse Spell Xanadu eBay... or even more hopelessly tragic Spell Folktown. We've been waking from dreams of blue skies and going to bed fantasizing about Lotu...actually we don't go to bed - at least not lately. We’re not sleeping much are we? No. We’re up sweating; obsessing over the one that got away... or in all probability will, at the next drop - because our internet isn't fast enough; because 7 seconds is suddenly an eternity during check out; because XS sells out first. Every. Fucking. Time. What we have is full blown PTSD - Post Traumatic Spell Disorder, with more than a healthy side case of drop anxiety.

* Please note the use of the ‘Spell sister we’ here. Much like a ‘spousal we’ this in fact means you.

Sound about right?

Welcome friend. It's nice to have you. You’re safe here. At least until the end of May, when Lotus drops.

Ever wonder how this started? I do (and so does my husband, my wallet and all my abandoned hobbies.)

Since science is ignoring me won’t explain the root cause of my condition, I've been working on a few conspiracy theories to help explain how one innocent retail therapy sesh, consisting of a Route 66 dress, turned into a full blown brand dependency that has me mapping out intricate buying strategies a full 48 - 72 hours before every drop:

Conspiracy Theory 1: Spell infuses their hand drawn fabrics with Stevie Nick's breath which they have bottled into microscopic nanotubes that fit into the heads of sewing needles. After the Australian TGA denied approval on a Stevie Nicks Vape pen, wherein the user would actually inhale the muse’s vocal chord filtered CO2, Spell had a shitload of unregulated gypsy breath on their turquoise encrusted hands. As Spelly and Lizzy are committed to sustainability, they quickly found a way to repurpose this rare and precious resource. The result? Once you start wearing a Spell piece, Stevie’s magical gypsy breath whispers into your pores, delivering you an effortless high that obviously demands you chase it again and again... on the wings of an enormous owl, obviously. Why this is probably true: Look no further than yourself - yes or no, you increasingly find yourself totally down with multiple layers of lace you would have never considered wearing at this age (or since that rad 1990 Jr. Prom dress)? Yes or no, you have found yourself with both a Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac Spotify Channel on endless rotation? Yes or no, when someone mentions the word leather, you blurt the lyrics “take from me my laaaace?” (note: There is actually a Spell Sisters 70’s Festival Jamboree playlist on Spotify. You’re welcome from Lulu Mey, the goddess who created it.)

Conspiracy Theory 2: Spell runs a genius instagram account 782k followers strong and just when you think you can ‘totally survive without another piece from Festival ‘17 BAM - you see it styled on a muse that could easily be you. You could be in Thailand, in that backless Lolita, in front of that waterfall, with those lovely beachy waves in your hair and no shoes because you floated there (on the owl - duh.) In fact it probably IS you… because they plucked that image straight out of your unicorn mind, put a 72% Lark filter on it and fed the ‘travelling you’ right into that instagram channel. They did this as a courtesy ICYMI; you know, all the retargeting ads the other gentle signs reminding you that you actually do NEED this piece in your life and it’s no longer optional. Why this is probably true: because it is true. See: @spell_byronbay.

Pick your theory but the FOMO (Folktown Obsessed Must Own) is real. Obviously, they have put a serious Spell on us - sorry not sorry, pun was too obvious. Show me another brand tribe that feels compelled to share their instant bond on insta when they show up full twinsies at a party (Who wore it best? Both of us! Yay! Love you! Love you more! #twinsemoji) Show me another brand tribe that has women from ages 18 - 81 searching for a magical unicorn in the shape of a mumu. Show me another brand who has more authentically gorgeous UGC. See: #myspellcollection #spelldesigns #spellskirtswish #vintagespell #spellluxelace #spellfestivalstyle

While we share a familiar ache in our wallets and art museums for closets, we’re a globally diverse tribe to be sure. Still yet, with every Spell Sister you meet, you connect with a little piece of yourself, right? Just in case your affliction is fresh and you’re still trying to find your cactus rose footings... Here’s the short list of the nine Spell Sister’s you’ll meet fall in love with in the cactus garden we call Insta (ps, I’m @jennvonhagen )

1) The Unconditional Lover: She buys something from every drop, and even if she's secretly not 100% sure it works on her, she's committed to making it work and her tribe is there to help her rock it hard. Queue the extra large knotted hemline and for God’s sake woman - just belt it. Spell can do no wrong - not even a dress recall phases her - she kept that Blue Skies Maxi Wrap dress, and she wears a kimono made of bubble wrap over it - and somehow it actually works for her - because she belts it.

2) The Fresh Collector: She "just found this new brand OMG" Bae got woke somewhere right after Hotel Paradiso and she can't shut the fuck up about her OZ obsession - because she DISCOVERED it you guys. We don’t blame her for the misconception, we felt EXACTLY the same way. Her insta is full of ‘lowered gaze’ shots that have you wondering WTF she’s staring at. Educated guess - it’s 16 trash bags full of labels she’ll never wear again. Regardless, she looks amazing in that dress, so we don’t give a shit - we welcome her with open kimonos. Babushka was her first ‘fully aware drop’; her collection has a shit ton of it. We’re simultaneously proud and worried, because she has no idea what she’s gotten into.

3) The Hider: Everything is NWT. She hasn’t even worn what she's got, and the challenge of justifying the spend is getting exponential. With her towers of white boxes getting harder and harder to conceal, the Husband is now on to her. Busted a few times during a delivery, she now sends the white boxes to the neighbors house and swears:

“It’s from Target/ I’ve had this forever/I’m borrowing it/Yay Swapped!”

(Rejoice hiders: the boxes are being transitioned out. You’ll no longer have to hide them - now you can simply obsess over collecting the cute new calico bags.)

4) The Girl Next Door: Nobody knows what she does for a living, but apparently she lives at Spell. I mean right inside the fucking Byron store... 12 minutes after a drop goes live, she's #spellswishing in the latest sold-out-soon-to-be-Unicorn. We hate her. Just kidding we love her. Just kidding we want to be her. Just kidding, we’ll settle for a sleepover - in her bohemian yurt, which is probably located right outside Spell’s cactus garden.

5) The Historian: Her collection dates back farther than Gypsy Queen and she probably has that first Sugarhigh+Lovestoned tee they styled the early jewels with in a safety deposit box. She can recite the name of every collection and every piece in it. She can spot fakes too, because she knows exactly when the logo lock up changed thanks to Rachel Pony Gold (circa April/May 2012). She indulges in the bootstrapped sisterly romance of it all. Damn right she owns the book; it’s signed - obviously.

6) The Cheerleader: She likes EVERY photo with Spell in it, and she will tell you you look GORGEOUS every single time she sees you on Insta because she believes that you have a beautiful unicorn soul. “You in that Sunset Road + Festival ‘16 mashup = AMAZING!”

She imagines you in your private cactus garden teaching your children how to hand letter affirmation mantras and macrame their own diapers as you sip organic kombucha and braid your bestie’s hair. She loves you. So. Fucking. Much. Her pronouns are heart eye emoji and kiss emoji.

7) The Impulse Buyer: constantly swears to God and all that is will-powerful that she WILL. NOT. CAVE to the next drop. She is going to be practical for fuck’s sake. (Yah, Lotus has alot of yellows and olives.. I’m more of a “summer”) But then she buys the Joplin Jacket because Florida winters are “brutal”. She has a large return shipping bill, admits that this is merely an endless paypal exchange and knows the Customer Service Angels by name (Oh, hey Angela). She uses the RA form and chat feature to send them love notes and see how they’re holding up after each drop.

8) The Wing-Woman: you either are one, have one - or both. She’s as hardcore as you are and she doesn’t judge your illness. You both have issues. This is the person you spend hours strategizing with before every drop. You two have your own kind of math and it’s harder to follow than ‘conceptual math. But this secret Spell math is a thing of fucking beauty: no matter what the equation, you always get the answer you want:

”Ok, I returned my Blue Skies Wrap, so I have a credit, plus what I saved on the Babushka Midi equals the price of the Joplin …. I’m net zero!”

You size up the line, screen shotting Snapchat and teasing each other via text. You pro/con every piece based on some fictional, rational version of you that “doesn’t need another gown, but needs to go with 2 piece sets you know, for more daily use.” (Um, sure - whatever you need to tell yourself hun.) If you’re on vacay during the drop, she’s got your back - as in your paypal payback - unconditional support is just a click away. She’s also hunting unicorns for you on the side and blowing you up on text in the middle of the night with buyer’s guilt (note the lack of remorse. There is never remorse, just fleeting guilt and temporary indulgence shaming for going overboard with both the Stardust Cami AND the Jacket “I’m a living Goddamned disco ball, WTF have I done? But I lurrve them.Yay me!)

9) The Unicorn Hunter: She’s next level obsessed, willing to throw cash and half her current Spell stash at the "last ever of it's kind, ever." ‘Evil-bay’ is alternately her nemesis, and her reluctant savior. After multiple talks off the Buy It Now button and pleas to her practical side, she eventually caves for her Unicorn, pays an obscene price and then never takes it off. See: Anything Folktown or a Xanadu Maxi Dress on eBay/Poshmark/Depop/Facebook Swap & Sell insert streaming tears emoji + unicorn emoji

As different as we may be - there’s something beyond swirling around in art that pulls us together. Perhaps it’s the addictive cocktail of anticipation + adrenaline + winning. Even as we’re confident that Spelly, Lizzy and all the Angels are sorting through the surprise growing pains, deep down we know there’s a small part of us that will miss bonding/sweating/crying over the chaos. More likely though, it’s the authentic friendships formed while supporting each other. ( I just heard a story from two best friends who met via a hashtag. They live a world apart, but talk every day.)

While I can't offer a cure (because Lotus/May/God help us), we can still justify our spending take comfort in knowing we’re not alone. (Or maybe that just adds to our stress because at least 20K+ of us have the notifications turned on for an intense Facebook page where we channel our obsession into smarter ways to buy/sell or swap more pieces.) Either way - rejoice in the Spell Sisterhood - our love runs deep, our tribe is epic and your OOTD is eternally on point.

PS - does anyone have a Turquoise Folktown Skirt and Top set in XS? Seriously, I die.

Note: You can follow more of the saga on Insta @jennvonhagen After I wrote this blog, I stumbled upon a hilarious thread on the Facebook Spell Designs Buys Swap and Sell page where fellow sisters are sharing their legit addiction and proven survival techniques. I’m currently interviewing for a follow up to this post, where I’ll share stories from all nine types of sisters. If you identify with one or more of the above, comment with your number(s) and if you’d like to be a part of the next post, message me here, on Insta or email me at [email protected]

#spell and the gypsy collective #spell #brand #fashion #tribe

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