#we love you namjoon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

always-is-always · 1 year

Text

bts enlistment...

This post grew from feeling compelled to comment, and offer support to one of my peeps, here. I was typing away under the post, and it turned into a thing, as I let the words flow.

So... like @irishhorse-blog , this is my opinion, and mine to bear. It’s not up for any debate. This is not coming from any place of judgement at all.

When people are forced to enlist in a military, it is life-altering in ways that cannot be predicted, on every level. Everything changes. Freedom is taken away, and a person is forced to comply with a way of living, behaving, thinking, and Being that is completely different from life outside of that military. Pick any country in the world, and it is the same in their military.

When a person is forced to enlist, their basic Human Right to make choices for themself is taken away. A way of life is imposed, that requires that person to alter their most innate Self and to become what they are taught they must become. (I’ll stop here, with this particular part of this post, as it is a VERY deep subject that isn’t pleasant.) My bestie is a Veteran of two recent wars. She would agree with my words above, as well as with the post that I’ve referenced from @irishhorse-blog. She went in by choice, and that is a whole different type of experience. She was a bad-ass paratrooper, and jumped out of more airplanes than one can imagine. She’s seen first hand what war is, and what it does to Human Beings. It left her with a host of physical challenges, ptsd, and other things that we can never understand as civilians, yet she doesn’t regret the choice.

I have friends in Israel, where both men and women have to serve in their military for two years. It is just a part of their lives in their country, just as it is in Korea. Yet, it is very different when the people don’t have a choice to serve.

Two years is a long time. Even at the shortest duration of 18 months, it is a long time to put one’s “regular” life on hold.... To be separated from family, friends, lovers... And, it being forced, and not by choice.

There’s an energy that comes with enlistment that is one of enforcing compliance upon a human being. It’s like a huge thumb pressing down upon a person’s Crown chakra (if you get the visual). That’s what I am seeing in Hobi and Jin’s energy fields now. You can see it on their faces. It is subtle, yet there all the same.

The other thing that just literally dropped into my mind as I type is this very profound thought: These young men are going to enlist in the military where they will be taught to strictly follow orders, AND where they will be taught how to use firearms, and how to kill another human being. Yeah. Let that sink in...

Humans aren’t born with the ability or desire to kill one another. It is learned behaviour for most, and in more rare situations it is learned (taken on) for pure survival. It goes against the very Nature of a Human Being to have to take the life of another, on purpose. That in itself creates deep trauma, within the person who pulls the trigger...

Humans have been at war for thousands of years. At this point on Earth’s Timeline, it has become a business, with a whole industry built around it. There are people who have made more money than all of us put together, in one war. It is the real reason why countries never really quite stop, and never quite establish peace. It’s big business, unfortunately.

There are so many levels and aspects to this subject. I dare not attempt to go much further with this as I’m not a wordsmith, and it would become a very very long post. I’ll begin to bring this to a close.

Again, as I’ve been writing this and thinking about these things, it has become much clearer that Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook will be changed at the core level, during their enlistment. The version of them that we are familiar with and love will cease to be. The men who return on the other side may seem to be the same, outwardly..... yet the truth is that they will be navigating from a new place, within their psyches, and in their understanding of the world. I pray that their Souls remain intact. The most we can hope for is that they choose to rejoin and begin to make music together again. They will probably need the healing that music can bring to them, as they re-adjust to life after the military.

As ARMY, the best things that we can do for them is to hold Space for them, and to send them Love throughout their enlistment. It will be hard to wait for them, yet it is the Promise that we have made. We will be there for them, on the other side. With open Hearts and open arms. 💜

#bangtan forever #bangtan enlistment #yoongi is next #bts and army forever #apobangpo #seokjin #hoseok #yoongi #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #we will wait for you #send them love

44 notes · View notes

byuljoonie · 2 years

Text

please give me a remedy. (m) knj. my.

Somehow there are a million people around us and you’re all I can see.

pairing: namjoon x reader x yoongi

genre: smut, angst, fluff, yearning?

pt: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

word count: 3k+

warnings: thickening plot. give it a chance bcs she’s being polished. slight aggression. slow build up for yearning yoongi. namjoon is a dork in love. slight angst. him or me? friends to lovers. no smut yet.

summary: 2 of your 7 best friends have a secret…

note: sorry about my love for lowercase letters.😅I started this story in 2020 while I was a senior in high school…great plot but the writing?? definite no. older me with more experience as a published author is here to take control. still deeply in love with joon after 9 years so let me yearn in peace. Please feel free to leave feedback, I love constructive criticism and listening to your opinions! word count will increase drastically by chapter 2! have a listen to the playlist in my bio while you read the story! enjoy!

I sat back on the leather couch in the practice room absorbed in the way he looks while dancing. His black hair sticks sparsely to his forehead and his brow is furrowed in concentration. He hits each move perfectly, feeling the music as the song approaches its climax. How could he possibly be this sexy right now? The thought sent my mind into a frenzy of unrealistic fantasies. I would never want to ruin our bond but I can’t help but wonder how his soft hands would feel against my sensitive skin. Namjoon is definitely just my best friend, nothing more…sadly.

We met during my junior year of university and bonded over our love for books and art. Philosophy being my major and his minor, we ended up in the same required logic course to graduate. Our first interaction involved a forgetful Namjoon leaving all of his writing utensils at home, sheepishly tapping my sweater-covered shoulder to borrow a pen.

I'm suddenly pulled out of my reverie when I hear Hoseok loudly complain about being hungry. I was so caught up in my mind that I didn’t notice the song finished. He falls back into a nearby chair with sweat dripping from his forehead, glistening in the yellow-tinted light.

"I'll go grab some food just tell me what you want boys," I said quickly standing up and pulling on Namjoons black hoodie.

"How about I go with you?" Yoongi suggested calmly.

"NO, I mean no I'll go with her since I'm the leader you guys just take a break," Namjoon nervously reassured everyone. I heard Jin and Jimin snicker at his quickness to accompany me. Yoongi shifted unfazed by the younger members’ interception. We’re almost inseparable at times but my smile widens as my heart still flutters for the skilled rapper. Feeling the same as I did when I first met him. I gave Yoongi a small smile but he turned away. I frowned confused by his sudden mood change before we could finish talking.

"Y/N I want chicken," Taehyung said, pulling on the sleeve of my- I mean Namjoons hoodie.

The other boys agreed so Joon and I set off to the nearest open restaurant, hoping to stumble upon a hole in the wall. We walked in comfortable silence the street lights illuminating his honey skin, casting a glow around us. I always felt so safe when I’m with him. I feel safe with all of the members of course, but there’s a special soft spot for Joonie. I guess you could say my slight infatuation has developed into a crush, but nothing more can happen between us. The more being a secret drunken kiss from this past new year celebration.

Thinking about the members causes Yoongi’s face to flash through my mind. He seemed kinda hurt earlier and I should have said something. I don’t want them to think I only care about Namjoon. I love and appreciate all of them, especially Yoongi and Hoseok. Yoongi was the last to warm up to me, but the first to spoil me. His kindness and gummy smile always melt my heart. I turned to Namjoon hoping to spark conversation and ignore my persistent thoughts.

"Namjoon what are you thinking about?" I asked catching him staring off into space.

“Nothing you have to worry about Y/N,” he said dimples making a special appearance as he smiled at me.

I felt a chill run down my spine and the wind blew my hair into my face. I noticed a line of people waiting outside of a restaurant; the bright, neon yellow sign lit up the block with the words "열두시 치킨 집" (12am chicken house).

"Let's go here Joon it's fairly close to the company," I suggested.

"Sure I don't mind pet,” he stated turning away from me, missing his words.

"What?" I questioned with burning cheeks.

"I said yes Y/N let's go before the line gets too long." He stuttered at his slip-up.

I felt my face getting warmer at the pet name. I've never been called that before, I think I like the way it rolls off his tongue. His voice was rough from rapping all night and his eyes glimmered in the moonlight. I felt like a buzzing ball of energy and hormones. I might as well exhibit how many butterflies frequently inhabit my tummy. I was once again snapped out of my redundant fantasy world when Namjoon appeared beside me with 2 bags of food and a soda.

"Come on Y/N it's getting colder and the boys are probably starving,” he said.

"That was fast, did you skip the whole line, Monie?” I asked while trying to keep up with his usual fast stride.

"Maybe,” he said flatly.

I was now laughing at his seriousness all of a sudden. I can’t handle how these men switch moods like they do wardrobe changes. It was so cold at this point I couldn't feel my hands. I shivered and rubbed my hands together, teeth audibly clattering. When we finally made it back to the building I called Taehyung to buzz us back in.

“FINALLY," Hoseok screamed at the top of his lungs startlingly.

The boys gathered around the table which had been placed in the middle of the coffee-colored floor while Joon and I had been gone. I absentmindedly bit into the chicken, dropping crumbs on my new hoodie.

“Y/N seems like hyung's hoodie is looking very comfortable on you,” Jimin said smirking with grease-covered lips. I noticed how he glanced at Jin and Jk, weird but I kept that to myself.

“Matter of fact it's mine now and there's nothing Joonie can do about it," I smirked at Namjoon who seems to be ready to attack.

I was about to stop him when he grabbed my arms and pulled me into him. I was staring into his eyes embarrassingly hard when all of a sudden he-

“AHHHH NAMJOON STOP STOP,” I screamed laughing furiously as his hands tickled my stomach and sides.

“Address me properly Y/N and I'll stop," Namjoon said laughing with the rest of the members.

I didn't want to give in to his sick game but I was almost out of breath. The boys laughed loudly in the background, still enjoying their food.

“FINE FINE NAMJOON SSI NOW STOP,” I screamed giving up on my stubbornness.

"Good girl,” he cooed as he stopped his almost unwanted assault.

I quickly gathered myself off of the floor missing the close contact already, but not forgetting to give the boys the finger in the process. My ears get warmer as Namjoons words echo through my mind.

｡ₓ ू ₒ☆ * ✲୧( ○ ╹ ╹ ○ )୨✲ * ☆ ₒ ु ₓ｡

I start cleaning up the empty chicken boxes. Wiping off the table and pushing it back into a random corner. As I announced my departure Yoongi walked up to me quickly. Almost as if I would disappear in a split second if he didn't grab my arm. I felt goosebumps rise on my skin, but he must have felt them too because he swiftly released my arm. Rubbing the back of his neck slowly.

“Hey can you stop by my studio tomorrow to help me with something, I need a bit of inspiration?" Yoongi questioned.

“Hmmm, sure I'll be here at around 10 if that's okay," I said smiling softly. I gave him a hug and walked out the door before he can even respond. Was I being avoidant because of earlier or am I just tired? I choose to blame it on the array of confusing events and emotions that took place tonight.

“HEY! Y/N let me walk you home!" Namjoon grunted busting through the door.

I nodded and let him catch up to me; pushing my skirt down a little. Fuck. I should have talked to Yoongi, I blew him off just to let Namjoon swoop in and walk me home in light of my circumstances. Maybe I’m thinking too deeply about the situation but hopefully, things will be hashed out during our session later. My apartment wasn't very far from the big hit building so I already saw the convenience store that was placed next door to my place. The wind started blowing harder so we picked up the pace until we reached the door of my place.

"Maybe you should um text the boys to go home so they won't wait on you. Since it's really cold. Do you um want something to drink?" I stuttered out meekly.

“Sure Y/N." He said lowly.

I shivered at the tone of his voice. The way my own name crested my ears like a harmonious symphony, this man can seduce the devil. I walked to the fridge pulling out 2 beers. Trying to calm myself before I walked back. My palms started to sweat and I can hear my heartbeat increase with each step back.

“Here Monie," I said passing him his beer and sitting on the loveseat across from him. I popped mines open staring at the ceiling as I drank.

"Slow down babe you're gonna choke,” he playfully interjected with a grin.

"Make me," I said articulately throwing my pillow at him.

“Why are you sitting so far, there's a better seat right here." He said patting his lap.

My heart started racing again as I nearly choked on my beer. Did I hear him right?

"Ha... Namjoon quit joking around," I said producing a strained laugh.

"Who says I'm joking Y/N hm?" He questioned with his eyebrow quirked. I’m at his mercy and he knows it.

I squirmed in my seat for a second thinking of what made him so bold all of a sudden. I know I talk a big game but I’m already under his spell. He got up and walked towards me for what felt like a millisecond with those long, muscular legs. I was about to say something when a knock on the door interrupted me.

"Uh I-I'll get it," I said jumping up but not failing to nearly trip over my own feet. Very classy I thought to myself.

I open the door in surprise when I come face to face with 6 sleepy Bangtan members. They all shivered in the crisp air, their noses turning red.

"OH MY GOD GET IN HERE I THOUGHT YOU ALL WENT HOME!" I yelled while dragging them into my apartment. I locked the door and stared at them with a look of suspicion laced on my face. Taehyung looks very guilty as he shields himself behind a shorter Hoseok.

"Well, we missed you so much we wanted to have a sleepover with you and WE BROUGHT YOUR FAVORITE SNACKS!" Jungkook said lowly with Jimin chiming in to enthusiastically scream the rest.

"At this point, I'm accustomed to you guys showing up randomly, but a little warning would be nice next time," I said with a small smile, taking the snacks from Jimin.

"HOW COME NAMJOON HYUNG GETS TO STAY BEFORE WE DO!?" Taehyung yelled while running to jump on the couch.

"Because he walked me home and it was cold," I answered calmly. A breviloquent sigh slipped past my lips.

"I CALL DIBS ON WALKING Y/N HOME NEXT TIME!" Yoongi screamed chaotically.

"NO, I DO!" Seokjin said raising his voice.

The boys started arguing and I couldn't help but start laughing. I plopped down next to Namjoon almost sitting in his lap, seems like I missed my chance for that I thought. He must have noticed because he placed his hands on my hips to brace me onto the couch.

He stared into my eyes for what seemed like an eternity until Jimin brought us back to life with a piercing scream. My head snapped up only to see Taehyung picking Jimin up from the ground and shaking him.

"GUYS STOP IT BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING, I will be walking myself home in the future if you don't relax," I admitted angrily.

Taehyung dropped Jimin to the floor with a thud and hung his head low. I stood up and asked Namjoon to come with me to get Blankets and pillows for the boys. Everything continued normally as Jungkook turned on the gaming console to begin his everlasting reign on Overwatch.

I walked down the hall and felt Namjoon's eyes burning holes into my back. We walked up to the closet and I grabbed a hearty amount of comforters and dropped them in front of me. I tried to reach for the pillows on the top shelf, but as I was struggling a strong pair of arms reached over my head and easily pulled me down the mountain of fluff.

"You know I can't help but find you so cute shorty." He said while smirking at my obviously warm face.

"I'm not short, I'm average height!" I said pouting with my arms crossed. He gently laughed and told me to pick up the pillows and go. I could listen to that sound all day.

When we walked back into the living room Yoongi was already asleep on the couch, Taehyung was playing a game with Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jimin emerged in watching the 2 other boys, and Jin was in the kitchen searching for God knows what.

"Here you guys go, I'm gonna head up to my room and inhale the snacks you brought me then sleep," I said while smiling.

“We think you should stay awake with us y/n, " Jin added from the kitchen.

"Let's play truth or dare," Jimin said with a sinister smile etched on his face. Oh no.

｡ₓ ू ₒ☆ * ✲୧( ○ ╹╹ ○ )୨✲ * ☆ ₒ ु ₓ｡

"Okay, truth or dare it is gentlemen. Let the game commence." I said with a light hesitant chuckle.

I sat next to Namjoon by habit. I felt his muscles tense when I sat close, but he relaxed when he felt my hand graze his thigh. The heat radiating from him warmed my skin in a way no has ever made me feel.

A couple of questions went by and it was Jimin's turn to ask. "Y/N truth or dare?" I thought about it for a second. "Truth,” I said rubbing my hands together nervously. "Ugh boring," he groaned. His eyebrows dipped in deep thought. Then he snapped, "I got it. Would you ever date Namjoon Hyung?"

My heart began to palpitate and I could feel the mist growing under my arms. All eyes were on me anticipating the answer to my question. "No, I don't think so. I mean we have a great friendship that I refuse to ruin. I’m not even his type." I mustered out as calmly as I could. The room was silent and the air grew dense around all of us. Namjoon looked visibly upset at Jimin. I shifted uncomfortably, silently begging God to take me right then and there. Why would I say that!? He thinks I’m an idiot I know he does.

"Well, who's next?" Taehyung asked. "ME!" Jungkook said breaking the silence quickly.

The questions continued for another hour before I decided to head to bed. The boys happily did any foolish dare that came to mind. Moments like these really help you cherish your friendships with those around you. A shattering pain erupts from my heart as I think about Namjoon’s mood shift during the rest of the game.

I rubbed my soar eyes before turning over and checking the time. 3 AM beamed in white on my alarm clock. The breeze from my opened window caused a shiver to course through me. I could hear faint voices and cars going along the road. I’ve always loved the sound of common nightlife. I assumed the boys were spread out wildly on my couch and floor. Even though the awkwardness cleared up, I still wanted to punch Jimin in the arm. My thoughts soon traveled to Namjoon and the mixture of surprise and frustration in his eyes when he stared at Jimin intensely. I wanted to know what was going on in his mind and why he seemed so serious earlier. The tricks my mind torture me with started to drive me crazy; I really need to talk to him and finally see if he feels what I feel. This empty yearning feeling can only be filled by my person. He is my person.

I tiptoed to the living room ever so quietly. I was greeted with the interesting sight of the boys wrapped in giant fluffy, white blankets. All of them looked so peaceful as their snores bounced off the walls of the room. I looked for Namjoon and he rested peacefully on the couch. His arms crossed over his broad chest, his lips parted slightly. He looked so beautiful I didn't want to wake him. I stepped over Taehyungs foot to sneak around to the front of the couch. I whispered Namjoon’s name quietly and he let out a half-hearted grumble.

"Joonie wake up, we need to talk please," I whispered one more time before he slowly peeled his almond-shaped eyes open.

"Y/N...what's wrong? Did I do some-"

I placed my manicured finger over my lips in order to hush him. He got quiet and stared at me calmly.

"Come with me," I said grabbing his big hand.

Just the feeling of his fingers entwined with mines made me quiver a little. The blanket slipped from his body as he got up, revealing that he was wearing only short, grey joggers that didn't do much to disguise his bulge. His skin was glowing as he stared at me with dreamlike eyes and his muscles looked so intoxicating that I almost passed out right there. If anything, it made me pull him up the stairs and into my bedroom expeditiously. I closed the door and sat him on the bed. He was staring at me as I stood by the door like a madwoman.

"Y/N why'd you bring me in here? Is everything alright? If this is about earl-"

Before he could finish his sentence I crossed the small space between us and kissed him. I felt him hesitate before he relaxed into the feeling. I perched myself on his lap finally breathing in his scent. He deepened the kiss and started to caress my back.

He lightly grabbed the back of my neck and pulled us apart. "I thought you didn't like me as much as I like you...but I guess you have other plans hmm?" He asked me with a smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me please," I begged and pushed him so his back was resting on the bed. My knees were placed on either side of his hips, I grinned down at him and then continued my attack on his swollen lips. Not how I ideally imagined our first, non-intoxicated, kiss would be but still worth every second.

I smiled as the cool air graced my face. Legs sprawled out in an entangled mess. Soft shocks circulated through my body as Namjoon gently rubbed my thigh. The buzz of forgotten TV resonates in the back, but now only a mere thought. Cars pass by, honking at whatever they have going on. “A million,” he said. “A million?” I questioned confused at the aimless outburst. He sat up legs crossed pulling me closer away from the opposite side of my bed. “Let’s say there are a million people outside right now. In their own world doing whatever life has destined for them. They go to work, cook, and clean just like we do. Shit, some may even have servants and have never worked a day in their life, but they’re here right now. Just like we are. Somehow there are a million people around us and you’re all I can see y/n.”

｡ₓ ू ₒ☆ * ✲୧( ○ ╹╹ ○ )୨✲ * ☆ ₒ ु ₓ｡

12 pm, I slowly stirred in bed as the sun pierced through my window abruptly breaking my sleep. I felt around for the warm presence of a certain black-haired man but was met with an empty space. I heard a loud yell come from the kitchen and I knew the boys were awake and chatting away. I carefully threw my legs to the side of the bed to quietly get down. I crept to the kitchen entrance trying not to make a sound. I listened to them talk and make bets over if Joon and I fought. I covered my mouth trying not to laugh. Still, in a daze because of this morning's events, I didn't notice Namjoon sneak up behind me.

"Good morning beautiful." He smiled and his dimples appeared on his cheeks. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. He looked so handsome and disheveled in this natural morning state. I delicately covered his face in feather-like kisses before pulling him into another passionate kiss, which he gladly reciprocated. His hands rested on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his masculine shoulders. I felt him smile into the kiss; I giggled on his lips, the lips that said the most erotic things just a few hours before we made it to this point. Suddenly we heard a camera click and the boys screamed exposing the two of us, all giddy and shy in the hallway.

"I KNEW IT, YOU FUCKERS OWE ME 5 THOUSAND WON!" Jimin screamed and threw up a fist of victory in the air.

You all erupted in laughter but what you didn't notice was Yoongi grimacing in the corner.

#namjoon x y/n #rm #namjoon x reader #yoongi x y/n #namjoon x reader x yoongi #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #friends to lovers #bts suga #joonie #i love you but we can’t #bangtan ot7

37 notes · View notes