#we love dancing-mylife-away very much

[appalachianapologies]

From when I was cat sitting for my friend back in December :) her name is Melody 🥰

oh she do a beeeg stretch 🥺

[crosbytoews]

9 books i want to read in 2022, tagged by @fleurylankinen 

i tag @dancing-mylife-away and any other followers who read! 

almost all of these are 2022 releases. more info under the cut!

Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng

i really hope this isn’t the final cover lol. i absolutely loved her other books (everything i never told you and little fires everywhere) and i’ve been waiting on a new release from her for a while. this one sounds dystopian so it’s different from her previous releases and i am soooo excited

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

this is a YA contemporary about a high school senior releasing she’s bisexual. it comes out in a couple weeks and the early reviews are really positive! i have it on hold at the library so i will keep you guys updated on my thoughts. 

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles  

my first read of the year was another book by this author (the lincoln highway) that i ended up really loving, so i just picked up the paperback of this. it’s about a man on house arrest witnessing the russian revolution from his window. i lvoe historical fiction so i think this will be a great read!

Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson 

i’m planning on starting this one today or tomorrow! it’s about two siblings who work together to learn more about their mother after her death. i’ve heard nothing but great things! 

All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir

this author is known for her YA fantasy series, but this is her first contemporary. it’s about a pakistani family who immigrate to california to run a motel. i love a good hard hitting YA contemporary and i think this will deliver. 

Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake

this author wrote Girl Made of Stars which is probably the best YA book i’ve ever read. this one sounds a lot different- it’s an adult f/f romcom. it has a very hallmark movie plot (wedding photographer goes back to her hometown and finds love) but it could be about literally anything idc i trust this author and we need more f/f romcoms in this world!!!

Upgrade by Blake Crouch

i really enjoyed Dark Matter and Recursion even though both made my head hurt. i am hoping this will be yet another sci-fi thriller that makes my head hurt. it’s about a man getting infected with a virus that changes his genetic structure. knowing blake crouch it will have a lot of crazy plot twists. 

I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

This is the YA debut from one of my favorite authors. i’m gonna be honest i don’t fully understand the synopsis but it seems like it’s about a girl who kisses the prom queen and then the prom queen goes missing and she has to work together with the other people who kissed the prom queen to find her? casey mcquiston can do no wrong and i trust them with my life. 

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

last but not least my most anticipated release of 2022! i loved beach read and people we meet on vacation so so much and this one sounds like it will be wonderful too. it’s enemies to lovers about literary agents. i love that it’s about publishing and emily henry can do no wrong. it comes out on the same day as i kissed shara wheeler and i plan on inhaling both those books. 

[newjerseyburbie]

Mylife@40 By the age of 40 I’d set up a very nice life for myself.  And then as they say “you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans….” 

At 40, I got married (to a man my age, no kids, college educated - no settling). We had beautiful, traditional church wedding and hall reception with over 100 of our closest friends and family. 

At 40 I moved out of my single girl waterfront condo in jersey city to live in the quiet suburbs of New Jersey with my hubs. 

At 41. I had my son (no IVF, no help) i became a mother of of a lil dragon we call Marky (aka Pops cuz he’s just cool like a popsicle + he reminds me so much of my dad). 

 In my 40s I evolved, and my life changed…. 

Rewind to 1 year earlier, my life looked completely different: I had a host of New York SHINKy friends like me (Single, High Income, No Kids) like me and we travelled the world, dined at the hottest NYC restaurants on the daily, had a career with lots of perks, swag bags and hot parties/events.   Life was good - who knew that at 40 it would get even better…. 

Fast forward 1 year later to marriage, motherhood and burbie life, I was faced with so much - a time of so much growth and resistance: 

ATWORK: 
“Maybe you should consider a job with more flexibility…..”
"Why did you come back here?” 

MYSO-CALLEDFRIENDS:  
Why wouldn’t you get a nanny?“ 
"Why don’t you let HIM watch the baby so you can go out or do a girlfriends trip?” 
“I don’t need to hear this - Im all caught up on facebook”. 

SO WHAT DID I DO? I hibernated…. i stayed away from the negative energy for a while. I spent time with my baby and made sure he KNOWS who mommy is… I went to work each day, over-performed and kept my socializing down to a minimum. 

 Of course, the SHINKys came for me!!  
“Why don’t you spend time out anymore?”
“Damn, he got you LOCKED up like a slave?” 

The response was obvious to me…but not to them: Why would I want to spend time with people who just want ME to listen to THEM and never the other way around??? People who don’t respect and support the new me? And why did these friends of mine act like my life was corny, boring and uninteresting when they KNOW they would trade places with me in a heartbeat!!

The truth - I loved every minute of my new life! I had people that depended on me - when I drive into the garage of my lovely home and open that front door at night my guys holler out “Mommys Home!!!” I had play dates, swim lessons, mother son dances and sleepy time book reading. 

WHY at 40 would I pay someone else to raise my child while I spend hours doing the same thing I’ve done for years??? I wanted to be a part of his life in a major way - not part time. This new role was Better than any black tie event or industry party - it was REAL LIFE, MY LIFE ON THE B- LIST (Burbie list that is). 

So here are some FAQs of encouragement for my SHINKys that Ive learned from my experience: 

AM I TOO OLD FOR A TRADITIONAL WEDDING? HELLNO! New century new rules. if you have a vision of your wedding, what it should be and you have the money to pay for it, then do it. Make sure you and your fiancé are aligned tho… the wedding should never be a bigger deal than your relationship. 

SHOULD I WEAR WHITE IF I'M GETTING MARRIED AT AGE 40+? HELLYES! In the words of my mom-in-law “wear your sh-t!!” As a matter of fact in your 40s you have the money for a better dress, and your taste is evolved + what’s the wedding without the show? 

SHOULD I TRY TO GET PREGNANT NATURALLY for a while before consulting a Dr? NO DON’T WASTE PRECIOUS TIME! If you want kids, go straight to you GYN then a fertility Dr. I got lucky with a honeymoon conception but most that I know in their 40s aren’t so lucky. WHAT IF I’M IN MY 30s AND NOT YET MET THAT PERSON? GET THOSE EGGS FROZEN AND STORED. This is the best advice you’ll get. The fact is that IVF doesn’t work effectively in your 40s!!! I leaned that when we tried to have a second baby. 

And what about friends? F-friends!  fact is, You’ll loose some friends, you’ll reconnect with others you lost touch with when they had kids, and you’ll make new ones with kids the same age as yours. you’ll be surprised how organically it will happen. People that don’t want to figure out how to be a part of your new life - don’t go out of your way to please them. Let the relationship dissolve or become what it should be - whatever that is….. 

Final BurbieBlurb: When life changes, Embrace the new - without fear - knowing that you’re not the only one going through change! THATS one benefit of being a 40yearold first time mom - the Wisdom of a Grandma and the uterus of a YoungGirl:).

[chumpmagump]

woah wild shana appears on tumblr sporadically  feelin real basic i dont have good intro soz  no one reads this shit anyway so why do i care? why am i putting a question mark? why am i still acting like i have an audience okay back to the basic pop music and basic thoughts mainly because i need some mainstream shit after being flooded by people who are ‘’ interesting’’ maybe too interesting, their brain is like the school of thought compacted into 10 minute conversations though. So everything is WOAH INTENSE 

im on my second cup of chai so i feel alright for typing shit that doesnt make sense  but seriously, you know those people who just seem very cultured and their brain has no filter, they can talk about stuff for 50 minutes and then realise theyve been talking a whole lot and go to ask you something but you’re just so fizzled out you can’t possibly think of something witty to say. idk man, my social game is off probably because my new job has got me aching for movies and just generally a good cuddle and 8 hours of sleep. 

why do people feel the need to talk constantly talk in metaphors, its like shakespreare shit. this is why god old bogan talk can be weirdly refreshing if youve been living around artsy farsty cities. nothing like a ‘’ i’m good aye, whats been hapening in your block’’ to reset. the guys im seeing are cool ( dont appreciate the not so honest honesty tho, will have to chat about that), the kind i wouldnt take to see my friends because my friends are just too chill for that like letstalkabouttheuniverserandomly. idk, theyre uni students who live a routined life not musicians or travel escapists  haha, no seriously its so nice to chill with people who kind of make my brain fizz at the beginning, it makes me realise how flat and dead i have been inside in previous relationships.

i dont have time for friends who (ironically are guys) think me seeing multiple people is disgusting or stupid because i sleep with them. Yeah you can say you wouldnt do it personally, or like it. But once you bring the argument into it that it’s gross to sleep around you are immediately associating sex with respect and to me that screams  i’m insecure and use sex as a weapon. Hell one of my friends said he didnt even want to hear about my meetings with new people. literally lost respect for me type thing.  so yeah, two friends out of the picture unless they wanna maybe realise what they said does have a direct correlation to their view of me. 

you cant just say to someone, i think its stupid to hook up with people and disgusting but then cover it with a lovely shade of pink in ‘’ but i dont see you as any less of a person’’. it doesnt make any sense and if anything i still lose respect for  you, for your slut shaming tactics.

I’m not meeting people with the intent to have sex all the time, and even if i was why should that bother someone to the point they lose respect for a person?  shoutout to cody, aprelle, julian and emma for understanding these wild concepts.

work is crazy, im finally learning my bartending shit, it’s interesting and i feel overworked and underpaid in this particular venue though. next year i think i’ll move on. 

some coworkers wow amazing how much a person can be an asshole and still live for others to tell the tale. 

bite my tongue and move the fuck on with a small ‘‘ fuckin bitch’‘ under the breathe. Imma have to get tactful in maybe making them feel a bit passively guilty about their actions otherwise i will just bust out some kendrick lyrics  no wonder people are dead assholes irl who work in hospo.  please dont kill my soil, kill it enough so i can scald and rebuild new flesh that can tolerate asshole level beta though. please, thanks anyway Vsauce , hotel hell and school of life youtube vids and chai have been heloing me restore battery life so maybe this week i can bust out of my shell and actually feel like an active participant rather than a silent observer. im done feeling like what i say doesnt matter, if it doesnt then why do i need you in mylife? thats on you,  not me  time to restore myself, learning baby steps all over again.  essentially thats how we die inside and thats how free spirits or people who dont conform to society look so appealing yet annoying, because we envy them. we wish we could have the guts to break out of the conformity that holds us, dance in street, sing loudly in a public bathroom yet we dont because we are forced to keep our children (inner child) tucked quietly away until home time.’ hence why bruno mars and chai is on my agenda tonight. 

we die when reach that age considered ‘’ young adult’’, yknow the age where the head school coordinator gathers all the kids in grade 8, with a speech of mumbo jumbo, ‘’have fun,... but you also have to know your shit, don’t be young and free, i mean be young and free but do your taxes’’’

its just science, we are socially learnt from young people that being a ‘’young adult’’ comes with the responsibility of not playing with toys, time to learn finance, but you can reserve play time for saturdays and evenings.. yet only selective playtime is appropriate for young adults.. which is still not play time is it? drugs, alcohol, sex , yknow the adullt playtime.  hell even your playtime isnt free and is run by some  invisible societal king. oo what would happen if someone farted in public? the king comes down from his throne and instills a worthy crime of .. nothing. that’s what i mean we are playing ourselves, we’re all fools.

so yes maybe i wont fart in public but ill be working on realising there is no king.