#we love ​emotionally constipated men <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[fav-fanficssss]

Clapping cheering whooping and hollering always and forever this universe has me down bad! And my dear sweet Bradshawsbabys world building! Chefs kiss unmatched unparalleled- everyone say thank you we are blessed! Blessed! (Now for me to get back on my Bobby boy Shit - imma get my heart broken by the ww2 au again I will I’m just not emotionally ready to handle it you know)

Lovely and fantastical as always

Xx

Si Vis Amari Ama

V. Revelations

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairings: Rooster (Roman Name: Gallus) x Female Reader (Roman Name: Sabina), featuring Hangman (Roman Name: Carnifex) x Phoenix

Summary: A girl whose freedom was stolen to pay her father’s debts. A gladiator enslaved for the entertainment of Rome. A love they never thought possible.

Author’s Note: And we’re back! Once again, I apologize for how long it’s taken me to update this series. This chapter went through a lot of revisions, but it opens the door for a lot of events that will happen later in the story. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 10.4k

Warnings: Slavery in the ancient world, angst, discussion of atrocities committed in the past, allusions to physical abuse, references to injuries and gladiatorial combat, mentions of death, slow burn romance, alternating point of view.

Keep reading

[kookooluvr]

Teach Me How To Love - Part 3

pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.

summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.

rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

word count: 6.7k

warnings: we get to know the besties a bit, jihyo and tae being our cutesie side characters <3 oc and jk both spill the beans to their friends,mentions of the infamous ex (booo, throwing tomatoes), oc buys and wears lingerie for jk, she sends him a photo in said lingerie, explicit sexual content; making out, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex, missionary, squirting, soft dom jk, multiple orgasms, jk learns something new about oc, jk's in his feelings, my poor baby, jk's also a teeny tiny bit of a stalker...but in a sweet way if that makes any sense :)

author's note: part 3 took longer than i would've liked bc my procrastination was kicking my ass. anyway, pls enjoy !!! things will start being a bit more eventful from part 4 onwards so bear with me 🤪🫶🏼 as usual, make sure to like, reblog and pleeeaaase share all your thoughts and feelings about these kiddos <3

taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @mimi1097 @livinluvl @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @puppybunnyjkay @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth

find tmhtl masterlist here

It's been a week since Jungkook came over. You spoke here and there in passing but you haven't had a chance to actually hang out again after that night because you're both just too busy prepping for final exams before the long awaited summer break. This time of year is always a bit crazy for both the students and the educators, which leaves you with almost no time to mess around with cute economics professors.

You've been a bit stressed out all week, so you really weren't planning on spending your Saturday in a busy mall, looking through racks of lingerie, and yet that's exactly what you're doing. Why? Because Jihyo texted you saying she needed your help in buying something sexy to wear on an upcoming date she has with some guy she met at work. His name's Mark and from what she's told you about him, he sounds...promising.

Jihyo, unlike you, is looking for a boyfriend. Boy, is she looking. She's gone on about seven dates with five different men in the past couple of months and she is yet to find her Mr. Right. From what she's told you, she's looking for someone educated, tall, handsome, funny, and someone who can "match her freak". The closest she got to that was some guy she met at a club two months ago, who was lucky enough to get three whole dates before he eventually gave her the ick by referring to his mother as 'mommy'. For her own sanity, you hope Mark won't make that same mistake.

However, Jihyo's mind isn't on Mark right now. Oh no, she's much more focused on the man you're seeing.

"___, come on. We've been best friends since the fifth grade. Are you really going to look me in my eye and tell me you're not seeing anyone? And don't lie to me."

You roll your eyes, scanning the rack of pink satin and red lace, feeling the different fabrics between your fingers. One minute, you were asking her about Mark and how they met, and the next thing you know, you're being interrogated in the middle of a lingerie store.

"I'm not looking you in your eye. I'm looking at lingerie. Ooh, this is pretty."

Jihyo loves you, really, she does. You've known each other for most of your lives. That means she supports you in everything you do. That also means she can see right through your bullshit when no one else can. She's been suspicious of you and your apparent mystery man for a while now, and she won't stop asking you about him until she gets answers.

"I'm serious. I know you're seeing someone. You're not slick, babe. I know you inside and out, and I have really good intuition...and I might have seen a text I shouldn't have when your phone was on the table at the restaurant during lunch."

Dammit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You feign ignorance, refusing to spill the beans even after practically getting caught. You and Jungkook both swore to keep it between the two of you. It's one of the rules. Who knows what will happen if you just start breaking rules all willy-nilly. Sure, it's not that big of a deal if you tell one friend, especially your best friend, but that's how it starts. You're breaking this rule, and then another and another until you're Robin Thicke and the lines are blurred.

"Cut the shit," Jihyo says dryly, crossing her arms over her chest, clearly unwilling to drop the subject. "Who is this mysterious 'prof jeon' and why was he asking you when you're free to see him?"

You let out a defeated sigh, looking over at her. You know that look on her face. She's just going to keep asking if you don't tell her and it's pointless lying about it. She can be a pain in your ass at times but she's definitely not stupid. And besides, she's your best friend. You'd be a bad best friend for not telling her that you're basically getting the best sex of your life, right?

Screw it.

"Okay, I'm not even supposed to tell anyone about it and it's really not a big deal but...I'm kinda sleeping with one of the other professors at work." You quickly press your lips together as soon as the words leave your mouth, looking back at the lingerie to avoid her eyes and all the questions you know you're about to be bombarded with in a second.

"What?!"

"Can you keep your voice down?" you whisper-yell, noticing a few people turning their heads to see what the sudden outburst was about.

"Sorry," she mutters with a snort, clearly not expecting that news. "Who is this professor? What's his name? Jeon who? Why didn't I know about this sooner? Since when have you-"

You cut her off before she can get the rest of her questions out.

"His name is Jungkook, he teaches economics, and before you ask, no, he's not my boyfriend or anything like that. I'm still not ready for that. We met a few months after I transferred to work at the university and we were just work-friends for the most part, but then we hooked up one night last year and it wasn't really supposed to happen again because we were a bit drunk but it was so good, and then it happened two more times and then...well, then we just agreed to keep having casual sex. That's it."

Jihyo is quiet for a moment, processing the information that was just thrown at her. How have you been sleeping with this man for a year and she had no idea? She's actually quite impressed that you could keep it a secret for that long.

"Wow."

"That's it? That's all you're gonna say?" you chuckle, turning around to look at her with a light blue lacey set in your hands.

"I just...I'm happy for you. I'm glad you're putting yourself out there again after Sunghoon. I really thought you were going to swear off men for the rest of your life after him."

And there it is. The reminder of the man you spent most of your teenage and early adulthood loving, the man who you thought you would grow old with, the bane of your existence. If it's not your friends or your mother reminding you of him, it's your own brain. You don't blame her for bringing him up, though. He is the main reason why you're so opposed to actually committing yourself to someone again.

"Yeah, well...it's not like Jungkook and I are dating or anything. It's just sex. No big deal," you mutter, not wanting to go down that road right now.

Jihyo knows your love life (or lack thereof) is a bit of a sensitive subject for you. She was there for you when Sunghoon broke your heart. She let you stay over at her apartment when you were too sad to be alone. She sat with you as you cried on her bathroom floor, so this is a big deal to her. This means that you don't spend your nights crying over that human shit stain anymore, and she doesn't blame you for keeping it private. All she really wants is for you to be happy.

"Still. It's progress, babe."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"So, uhh... how is he?" She grins, gesturing to her genital area, wanting all the long, girthy, veiny details. She can't help but be a little nosey. Besides, what's the point of having a best friend of almost two decades if you can't ask her about the juicy details of her sex life.

"I'm not telling you that, you pervert," you laugh, holding the lacey lingerie out for her to take. She takes it without even looking at it, her focus solely on you and your professor friend.

"You have to tell me. Okay fine, just give me a number from one to ten then... Looks?"

You sigh but decide to indulge her anyway. "Ten."

"You lucky bitch," she scoffs, looking very impressed. "Skills in the bedroom?"

"Nine point five."

"And you're exclusively hooking up, right?"

You nod.

"Okay, ___, please explain to me why we're in a lingerie store and you're not buying something to make this man drool over you," Jihyo deadpans, looking at you like you're insane.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're not here for me. We're here for you and your date."

"And we're not leaving until we both get something." She starts looking through the racks with more determination. "You said Professor Sexyboots is a ten. You have to wear something sexy for him. At least for my sake."

"Professor Sexyboots? I'm sure he'd love that," you scoff, rolling your eyes at her ridiculous nickname for him.

Jihyo is about to respond when she looks up at something and freezes, her eyes widening, causing you to turn your head to follow her line of sight, your eyebrows raising. On one of the mannequins sits a stunning deep-red bra and matching thong, looking like something straight off a Victoria's Secret runway. It's gorgeous, with intricate lace detailing, and it's completely out of your comfort zone.

"No way, I can't."

"What are you talking about?! You'd look so hot. C'mon, it would be so fun. You could send him a little sneak peek and invite him over and he can take it off with his teeth," she snickers, having way too much fun with this whole thing.

You're not sure how exactly you let Jihyo convince you to buy the skimpy lingerie, but you did, which is why you're sitting in a rather suggestive pose in front of your floor-length mirror in your bedroom. It's silly to feel nervous about sending him a naughty photo. He's seen you naked more times in this past year than you can count, and yet this makes you nervous.

You take the photo and press send before quickly tossing your phone on the bed, letting out a deep sigh.

Jungkook is in the middle of watching some random show on Natural Geographic when he gets your text. He unlocks his phone and all the air gets knocked out of his lungs when his eyes land on the photo of you wrapped in the delicate dark red lace, muttering a breathless, "Sweet baby Jesus".

His fingers shake as he types out a reply, his heart hammering in his chest.

prof jeon [9:46pm]: i've never really been a very religious man prof jeon [9:46pm]: but damn, god is good 😳

You [9:47pm]: LMAO You [9:47pm]: come over

prof jeon [9:48pm]: aye-aye captain 🫡

He rushes to his room to get a hoodie, quickly putting it on while getting a confused look from a half-asleep Bam. He walks over to give the sleepy dog a quick kiss on his forehead and some scratches before getting his car keys, his body working faster than his brain. “Bam, daddy’s gotta go take care of aunty ___, okay? I’ll be back later.” And with that, he’s out the door.

He makes his way downstairs to the parking lot and gets in his car, fumbling with the car keys in a rush to get to your apartment. He knows he probably looks like a teenage virgin right now, but he doesn't care. You always manage to make his midsection tingle and his brain feel all scattered. When he finally manages to get the car started, it takes everything in him to stay within the speed limit as he drives over to you.

You're about to text him to ask how far he is from your apartment, when there's a knock at the front door. You wrap a robe around your body and go to answer the door, seeing a breathless Jungkook leaning his arm up against the wall in the hallway.

"Good evening, Professor," he grins, straightening up to walk inside, eyeing you from head to toe as you close the door behind him. Before you can get a chance to respond, his lips are on yours, his hands cradling your jaw as he kisses you, completely taking you by surprise.

You pull away to look up at him with wide eyes, letting out a little chuckle. "So just straight to the point? No small talk, nothing?"

"Is that what you want?" he asks, looking down at your robe-clad body. "Small talk? Want me to ask you how your day was before I spread your legs?"

"Not really, no."

"Yeah, I didn't think so," he mutters before his lips are back on yours. He picks you up by the back of your thighs in one swift motion, your arms wrapped around his neck as he carries you to your bedroom, eager to get that damn robe off.

He gets to the bedroom and gently lays you down on your back before hurriedly removing his glasses, pulling his hoodie over his head, his t-shirt following quickly behind. He leans down to hover over you, his lips kissing from your neck up to your lips, sensually licking into your mouth to taste more of you while his fingers trail up your thigh under the robe.

He pulls back to look down at you with heavy-lidded eyes, his fingers slowly opening your robe. "Can I take this off?"

You nod and your robe is off within seconds, leaving you in nothing but the skimpy lingerie. His throat goes completely dry. "Fuck. You're trying to give me an asthma attack."

"You don't have asthma," you laugh, rolling your eyes.

"The point is that you're fucking hot, ___."

You scoff and pull him back down to crash your lips onto his, his tongue slipping into your mouth with ease. Your hands lightly travel up his biceps and shoulders, the sensation sending shivers down his spine. You slide your fingers through his hair and give it a little tug, pulling a soft moan from his lips. He loves when you play with his hair, and he especially loves when you tug on it, whether it's while he's kissing you or eating you out.

You pull away slightly to press a few light pecks to his lips, his stomach erupting with butterflies. "You're so good at that," he mutters, gently tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.

"At what, kissing?"

"Mm," he hums with a lazy little grin on his face. "Might need you to demonstrate again, just to make sure."

You laugh, placing another kiss to his lips, lingering there for a bit before pulling away.

"Mm, one more," he whispers before his mouth is back on yours, his tongue tangling with yours as the kiss grows more heated.

He reluctantly breaks away from your mouth, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses on your skin.

He nips at your pulse point, his teeth leaving a little red spot on your flesh.

"Jungkook, I'm going to kill you if there's a mark," you mutter, but the huff of laughter he lets out tells you he doesn't care.

"You'll be fine," he chuckles, his voice hoarse with desire, his tongue tracing the mark he left behind. He leans on one hand while the other slowly trails up the side of your ribs, making its way to the back of your bra.

"This is so pretty," he whispers, giving your earlobe a little tug with his teeth. "Can I take it off yet?"

"Mhm," you nod, slightly arching your back off the bed to let him unclasp the bra. He slowly slides the fabric off your body and tosses it aside, kissing his way down to your breasts. He licks and sucks on each of your nipples before trailing slow, soft kisses down your stomach.

"Lift your hips for me, baby." You do as he says, his fingers hooking into the sides of the tiny lace thong, slowly pulling the fabric down your legs.

You spread your legs for him, showing him your glistening folds. The sight alone makes his sweatpants feel tighter. He kneels down at the edge of the bed, spreading your legs further apart. He kisses his way up your leg from your calf to your inner thigh, holding your ankle over his broad shoulder.

His lips inch even closer to your pussy, just a few centimeters from where you need him most. "Jungkook," you whine, your arousal growing by the second.

He chuckles teasingly, stopping at your inner thigh. "You're so whiny."

"Don't tease, Kook."

He grins, hovering his mouth over your pussy, his breath fanning over your folds. "Love seeing you all worked up for me," he murmurs, slowly licking his lips before pressing a feather-like kiss to your mound.

"Just shut up and eat me out."

"Yes, ma'am."

He starts slow with wet little kisses and licks to your clit, slowly building up a steady pace. He loves eating you out. He could go for hours if you let him, like a starved man getting a taste of his favourite food. Jungkook's always been more of a giver than a taker, your pleasure bringing him pleasure.

He's incredibly skilled with his tongue, knowing exactly what to do to have your legs trembling. He swirls and flicks his tongue, sucking and lapping at your clit to make your eyes roll back in your head.

"Fuck, Jungkook...feels so good," you sigh, your eyes fluttering shut.

He smiles against your pussy, feeling proud of every little sigh and moan he pulls from your lips. "You taste so good," he mutters before diving back in, licking a long stripe from your leaking entrance to your clit, his hands gripping your thighs to keep them open.

"Just like that...oh my god, don't stop..."

He looks up at you with a dazed look in his eyes, his tongue lapping at you with skilled precision that makes your toes curl, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you.

"F-fuck, 'm gonna cum," you gasp, grabbing onto his hair to hold him in place, your eyes squeezing shut, your head spinning as the pleasure reaches a peak.

A few more sucks and flicks of his tongue and you're cumming, his hands holding you in place as he laps at your pussy, helping you ride out your high. He feels your thighs quivering, looking quite proud of himself. "You taste so fucking good," he murmurs, pressing a few soft kisses to your clit.

"Holy shit." You're breathless, your pussy pulsating, your heart racing.

He crawls up to hover over you, giving your lips a quick peck, his lips and chin glistening. "Still with me?"

"Mhmm," you grin, slowly opening your eyes to look up at him.

He smiles down at you, taking in your flushed cheeks, your disheveled hair, your pretty eyes. He gently brushes some of your hair out of your face, his thumb lightly stroking your cheek. "You're beautiful, ___," he whispers, his voice laced with tenderness.

"Don't say that."

He furrows his brows in confusion, puzzled by your reaction. "Why not? It's the truth."

"Tell me I'm sexy...not beautiful."

He chuckles, slowly shaking his head, his expression filled with amusement and affection. "You're gorgeous," he whispers, lightly kissing your cheek, his lips trailing over to your ear. "And incredibly sexy."

"You gonna fuck me now?" You tease, your lips curling into a soft smile.

He almost laughs at your bluntness, the way you just get straight to the point, never wasting any time if you want something. Your assertiveness has always been a turn-on for him, not just in the bedroom, but in general.

"That's the plan, yeah."

"Let's get this show on the road then."

He gets up off you and removes his sweatpants and boxers, letting it lay somewhere on your bedroom floor. He's already hard, his cock standing tall, the tip already leaking a bit. He stands at the end of your bed, his hand wrapped around the base, his eyes glued between your legs, slowly trailing up to your face.

He crawls back on top of you, sliding his fingers through your folds, gathering some of your slick and rubbing it over the head of his cock. "Ready, baby?"

You give him a nod and he slowly pushes into you, his hips gently moving forward. "Shit, you feel good," he groans, his voice coming out low and hoarse.

You sharply inhale through your nose, feeling that familiar stretch, your walls molding to the shape of him like it was made for him.

He thrusts slowly, bracing his forearms on either side of your head, his forehead resting against yours. His thrusts get deeper until he bottoms out, his breathing growing heavier, his moans going straight to your core. He buries his face in your neck, feeling your hands gripping the muscles in his back as he thrusts harder.

Your moans grow louder as he thrusts into you, your walls fluttering around him, your legs wrapping around his waist. "Fuck, that feels so good."

"Yeah? You like that, baby?" he grins, pressing wet kisses to your neck and chest.

You've never had a man make you feel the way Jungkook does. He knows exactly how to touch you, how to kiss you, how to have you like putty in his hands. Your skin heats up, your heart pounding faster as he picks up the pace, hitting that spot deep inside you that makes your back arch off the bed.

"Mmm, f-fuck...harder...h-harder, baby," you moan, feeling him lift one of your legs over his shoulder, the tip of his cock repeatedly hitting that sweet spot inside you, the new angle allowing him to thrust even deeper.

"Like that?" He grunts, sitting back on his knees, his thrusts hitting harder, his pace getting faster.

"Oh my god, right there...feels s-so good, Kook."

"Wanna cum again?"

You can barely form a coherent sentence anymore. Your moans mixed with the sound of his skin slapping against yours fills your bedroom, his thrusts making your pussy squelch.

"Use your words, baby."

"Wanna...wanna cum," you whine, feeling him hold your leg next to his head and press wet kisses to your ankle and calf, the pressure and pace of his thrusts feeling just right.

"Hold it." His voice is rough and demanding, a stark contrast to the gentle tone he usually uses with you outside of the bedroom, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

He ignores your whines and pleas for him to let you cum, thrusting as deep as he can go, his free hand reaching down to push his thumb into your mouth. Your body works on autopilot, sucking on his thumb. You swirl your tongue around it like you would do to his cock, causing his hips to stutter before he regains his composure.

"Such a good girl for me. Gonna make you cum so hard, baby."

He pulls his thumb out of your mouth to rub firm circles over your clit, the pressure paired with his thrusts making your head spin. The pressure starts to build in your lower stomach, and it feels different, better than it usually does, your pussy clenching down harder around his cock.

"Feels...f-feels like I'm gonna...p-pee..."

He lets out a faint chuckle, his hips moving with determination. "You're not gonna pee, baby," he mutters, his tone sounding almost teasing.

"H-how do you know?"

"Trust me, baby, I know. You're not gonna pee." He can tell you're close, your body practically begging for release as he rubs your clit faster. He looks down to where your bodies connect, seeing how swollen and puffy your pussy looks, the sight making his cock twitch. "It's gonna feel so good, baby, I promise."

"Gonna...gonna cum-"

"I know, baby. Let go for me...let it all out."

You cum with a loud cry, your body convulsing beneath him, your vision going blank as the pleasure hits you. It feels relentless, like nothing you've ever felt before, and he's made you cum many times before.

"Fuck, that's my girl." His thrusts slow down but they don't stop, keeping his pace steady to help you through it. "That's it, baby...ride it out..."

Your body trembles as you come down from your high, barely able to register him pulling out. Your eyes are half open as you watch him stroke himself above you, his face contorting in pleasure, his abdomen tensing. He finishes with a guttural moan of your name, painting your stomach and breasts with warm strings of cum.

"Fuck. I think I just saw Jesus," he breathes out, his chest heaving as he gasps for air.

"Yeah? What did he tell you?" You chuckle breathlessly, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm.

"He said you squirted."

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head, looking down to find his lower stomach and pelvis drenched.

"Oh my god," you groan, your words muffled by your hands as you cover your face.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. It was probably the sexiest thing I've ever seen," he murmurs with a faint chuckle, gently pulling your hands away from your face, forcing you to look at him, his face looking rather smug.

"You look very pleased with yourself."

"Can you blame me? I made you feel so good, you practically exploded all over me," he grins, looking down at the mess between your legs. "Ohh, she's so swollen now. She took a bit of a beating, huh?"

You let out bashful scoff, your cheeks heating up at his choice of words.

He quickly gets up to go and clean himself off in the bathroom, coming back to slip his boxers back on. He watches you slowly get up off the messy bed, your knees feeling weak as you clumsily walk off to the bathroom, needing a hot shower after that intense session. He sits on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands as he watches you stumble.

"Legs a little wobbly there?" he teases, unable to stop the amused smile from spreading across his face.

"Shut up," you mutter as you make your way to the bathroom, earning a little laugh from him.

While you're in the shower, he takes it upon himself to remove the dirty covers and sheets from your bed, looking for your lavender room-spray on your vanity. He knows you always spray it around the room after sex, and he knows you keep it on your vanity, but for some reason he can't find it there. What he does find, however, is a framed photo he's never seen before. You're in it, and it looks like it was taken on the day of your undergrad graduation ceremony. You're standing next to a younger-looking girl, whose face is quite similar to yours. She is just slightly taller with shorter hair. Jungkook doesn't know much, or rather anything, about your family, but he assumes the girl in the photo is your sister.

He picks up the frame and goes to sit down on the bed, inspecting it closely. He feels a bit guilty, like he's been caught red-handed for snooping when you come out the bathroom wrapped in your robe, your eyes landing on the frame in his hands.

"What're you doing?"

"Sorry," he murmurs, his eyes growing wide, feeling like a child that's been caught stealing. "I just...I was looking for your room spray...or mist, whatever it is, and... I, uhm, I don't know, I guess this just caught my eye. I've been here many times but I've never really looked around, y'know?"

You nod slowly, going to sit next to him at the edge of the bed.

"Is this...your sister?"

You look up at him, seeing the surprise on his face.

You and Jungkook have sex. You work at the same university. You're "work-friends" and that surprise on his face is a reminder of how little he truly knows about you, how little of yourself you actually share with him. He knows you have a cat, but he doesn't know you have a sister. He knows the way you take your coffee, but he doesn't know anything about your childhood. It's a stark contrast to how much you know about him. You know his favourite foods because he's very specific about where he gets his takeout from. You know his favourite brand of beer because he always has it stocked up in his fridge. You know all about his family dynamics because he speaks about them all the time, that his brother just had a baby, that her name is Mijoo. You know all of his hobbies and interests because you're quite observant and he's very open, never feeling the need to keep anything to himself. You're similar in some aspects of your personalities, and yet very different.

"Yeah, that's my sister, Yuna," you murmur softly, looking down at the photo with a tight-lipped smile.

He absorbs this new information, a mix of feelings swirling inside him. Part of him feels slightly hurt. Four years of knowing each other and a year of hooking up, and he's only just found out you have a sister. He's an open book, always sharing all these intimate details about himself with you, yet you keep so many parts of yourself hidden from him. He wonders if it's just in your nature or if you deliberately keep him at arm's length, preventing him from getting too close.

At the same time, a small spark of hope lights up within him. You're not completely shutting him down so that's good. Maybe this is a sign that you're actually opening up to him for once. It might seem minor, but he takes it as a huge step forward with you.

He has a million questions he wants to ask, but settles for, "What's she like?"

There's a beat of silence before you speak. "She's, uhm...she's three years younger than me, and she's probably the most extroverted person you'll ever meet, so we're...very different," you scoff, smiling fondly at the thought of your baby sister.

He listens intently as you talk about your sister. He wants nothing more than for you to let your guard down with him, and this is a start. It's small, but it's something.

"That must make for an interesting sibling dynamic, hm?"

"We actually get along great in spite of that. We grew up super close, so..." You speak softly, feeling a bit uncomfortable with showing even just a hint of vulnerability in front of him. "So, yeah. Now you know that about me."

"Yeah," he murmurs softly, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "Now I know."

You gently take the frame from his hands and walk over to your vanity, putting it back in its place. You pick up the lavender room spray and turn to him with a faint smile. "This what you were looking for?"

"There's the damn thing," he scoffs, the familiar scent filling his nose as you give the room a spritz. "Is that to get rid of the smell of me?"

You chuckle, but you don't deny it.

The room falls silent again, and he takes it as his cue to get out of your hair, seeing as it's already midnight and he doesn't want to push his luck.

"I should, uh...I should go. It's late and I don't wanna keep you out of your beauty sleep," he jokes, slowly getting up to put his clothes back on.

"I'll walk you out." He wishes, just once, that you would ask him to stay, but he knows you won't. He walks behind you, stopping at the front door. He so badly wants to reach out and take your face in his hands, to kiss your lips and ask you to let him spend the night with you, but when you open the door for him, he simply puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and walks out into the hallway.

"Thanks for tonight," he mumbles, looking down at you with a soft look in his eyes. "It was fun."

"Yeah, it was," you smile, tilting your head to lean against the half-open door.

He just looks at you, not making a move to leave. He has so much he wants to say right now, but he swallows it down, just like he always does, not wanting to overstep.

"Well...goodnight."

"Night, Jungkook."

He takes a small step back, reluctantly turning to leave. "Goodnight, ___," he mumbles, looking back at you with a soft smile.

You chuckle, sensing his reluctance to leave. "Goodnight, Jungkook."

He turns and starts walking away, his feet feeling heavier with each step. Just as he's about to make a U-turn and walk back to you, he hears the soft click of your door shutting, the lock echoing in the empty hallway.

He sighs and walks over to the elevators, going down to his car. He mentally kicks himself for feeling so disappointed. He's always known that you keep yourself guarded, and he thought he could handle it, could play by your rules, could be content with a primarily physical relationship. He could before. But right now, sitting in his car in the silent parking lot, he's reminded of how weak he really is.

He leans his forehead forward against the steering wheel, the weight of his feelings sitting heavy in his chest, muttering a soft, "Fuck."

With a heavy sigh, he starts the car and drives home, his brain taunting him with the fact that romance isn't a possibility for you and him.

On Monday, Jungkook is back in work mode. He tries to squeeze in as many revision lectures as he can the closer it gets to final exams. It's around 3pm when he finally gets a breather, so he goes to his usual spot for lunch.

He sits in the empty lounge, like he does almost every day. Why this specific lounge? Because if he looks out the window, he has a perfect view of you sitting below, eating your lunch on your usual bench. Sometimes you're alone, sometimes you're with another lecturer, and on rare days you just have lunch in your office.

"There you are." He hears Taehyung's voice as he walks into the lounge, sitting down across from him with a huff. "You weren't answering your phone."

Jungkook doesn't respond, his eyes not wavering. He looks out the window with a dopey look on his face, watching you eat your gimbap. Taehyung follows his line of sight, catching on rather quickly.

"So... you taking an online course on how to be a stalker, or...?"

"What are you talking about?" He scoffs, looking over at Taehyung before his eyes inevitably drift back down to you.

"You're staring like a creep," Taehyung laughs, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Is she that professor I saw you talking to the other day?"

"Mm." Jungkook knows how nosey his best friend can be, and he knows exactly what's going on in that head of his.

Taehyung gives him a knowing smile. He doesn't even have to say much, already knowing it's only a matter of time before Jungkook spills.

"You have a thing for her, huh?"

Jungkook looks at him with wide eyes, feeling exposed without even confessing anything. "What? I didn't even say anythi-"

"Don't bother," Taehyung chuckles, "You're not very subtle, man. Your eyes give you away."

Jungkook feels his cheeks burn, knowing he's been caught. He hates how transparent he is, that his feelings are written all over his face. "Fine. But it's not a big deal."

Taehyung gives him a look that says, 'You sure about that?'

Jungkook looks at his friend, then down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. There's a long silence before the word-vomit eventually spills out of him.

"We've been having sex for a year and it was just casual at first, well...it still is casual, and we set a few rules so that there's still boundaries between us, but then I started developing feelings and she's just so guarded, like, she won't open up to me and I know that if she finds out I have feelings for her, she'll pull away and it'll ruin everything," he rambles, the words tumbling out like he's been dying to tell someone. He knows it was supposed to stay between the two of you, but he trusts Taehyung implicitly and he knows his friend would never judge him or the situation.

Taehyung looks at him with raised eyebrows, listening to him ramble on about the whole situation, trying to wrap his head around it. He knows how much of a softie Jungkook is and he never thought he would ever hear him say he has a friend with benefits.

"Damn, dude...you look like you needed to get that off your chest."

"I guess I did, yeah," Jungkook murmurs with a little scoff.

"Okay, so, she explicitly told you she's not interested in you romantically?"

"Well, no, she didn't say it directly, but she doesn't have to," Jungkook sighs. "She's made it clear more than once that she's not looking for anything serious from me."

"Damn," Taehyung murmurs, his face full of sympathy. "Has she said why?"

Jungkook looks back out the window, looking down at you with a melancholy expression on his face. "I know it's something to do with her ex, but she won't tell me the full story, so I don't really know what happened. I know she's been hurt before and she's wary of it happening again. I know she's not ready for anything serious, and I respect that. It's just..."

"You thought it would be enough for you?" Taehyung asks softly, carefully.

"Yeah."

"But it's not?"

"Would it make me an awful, selfish person if I said it's not?"

"No," Taehyung says firmly, a soft smile forming on his face. "It would make you a human being with a soft heart and strong feelings."

Jungkook scoffs, feeling guilty for simply thinking of being with you in a romantic sense. He knows you've been through some hard things in the past, and all he wants is a chance to prove himself to you.

"Do you want to tell her how you feel about her?"

"I don't know," Jungkook mutters, a slight pout forming on his lips. "I keep going back and forth about it in my head. Part of me wants to tell her and lay all my cards out on the table for her...another part of me is scared of pushing her away even further."

Taehyung goes silent for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip in thought. "Is the sex good?"

Jungkook narrows his eyes at his friend. "You have the worst timing."

Taehyung chuckles, shrugging like he just couldn't help but ask.

Jungkook rolls his eyes but gives in, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's...it's really good. Probably the best sex I've ever had, if I'm being real."

"Wow," Taehyung scoffs, his eyes wide. "I'd say you should wife her but...y'know..."

Jungkook gives him a dirty look, once again getting a slap from reality, Taehyung subtly wincing at his friend's misfortune.

"Look, I want to say screw her and it's her loss because you're a fuckin’ catch...but I mean, I get that she's just being cautious because of whatever happened with her ex."

Jungkook sighs, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. I just wish I could prove to her that I would never hurt her, that I would respect her and treat her right." Jungkook mentally curses your ex for screwing things up for him. He just wants a fair shot with you. "She's such a beautiful woman and she doesn't even see it."

Taehyung nods, looking out at you through the window. "Yeah, she's very attractive."

"No, I mean, she's stunning, but...the way she speaks, the way she acts, the person she is...she's just so beautiful. I want her for so much more than her physical being," Jungkook murmurs softly, his heart yearning to show you just how lovely he thinks you are.

"Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for her is be her friend if that's all she needs for the time being and slowly try to bring down her walls little by little. And if that doesn't work, then I think you should keep your options open. I know this sucks, dude, but you have to think of yourself too. You can't try to mend her while breaking yourself."

Taehyung is a wise man, and Jungkook trusts his judgement. He teaches literature, for crying out loud. He reads Shakespeare for a living. He should be well versed in these things.

"Yeah," Jungkook nods, taking in Taehyung's advice. "I guess you're right, Tae. Thanks for listening to all my crap."

"Hey, you're my best friend. No sweat." He goes quiet before casually asking, "So, do you think she has a friend for m-"

"Tae-"

"Wrong time, my bad."

< Part 2 || Part 4 >

[shouyuus]

chapter three: sleep of the living, dreams of the dead

roronoa zoro, 4,958 words; fluff and angst, enemies to lovers, relationship progress being made, emotionally constipated!zoro, slow burn, captain!luffy being captain, decent amount of banter, slow healing, strawhat!reader, tru hurt/comfort, no "y/n", domestic fluff

summary: in which zoro helps you make sakura-mochi and you keep good on your promise

a/n: we are indeed getting somewhere in their relationship!!! we get some fluffy moments of respite in this chapter <3 i hope you all enjoy!

< to the table of contents

That night, swinging in his hammock, he tries to picture it, as he’d so often done in the past — wondering about you, picturing you. Before seeing you again, he’d tried to imagine what you might look like, based solely on his memory. He spares a moment now to wonder, staring up at the moon-slatted ceilings of his small room — why? Why you?

You weren’t the only person in that sleepy little town, and you definitely weren’t close enough for him to call you a friend. But then again, he reflects bitterly, the only person he’d considered a friend from then is dead.

So suppose you are the next best thing. Suppose it’s just the nebulous workings of the human mind, of the brush-stroke memories he’d attached to the shape of you simply because you were there. And you were different.

Different from all the other boys and girls at the doujou. Different from him and Kuina too.

And there, something clunks inside his chest, blunt and oppressive, the same way it had when he’d run into that Tashigi girl in Loguetown. So maybe that’s it — maybe he’d held onto the memory of you because it was one of the last solid things that tied him to Kuina. You and the Wadou Ichimonji. But as much as other swordsmen might wax poetic about how a blade is a living thing, he can’t reminisce with a sword, can’t share a drink over those silver-lining days and star-spangled nights.

Sometimes if he closes his eyes, he can still hear it, the sound clear as if it were echoing into his room from the decks above — you and Kuina laughing, your heads bent over the basket of sweets, eyes glittering as you picked all the prettiest ones.

It was the only time he’d ever seen Kuina smile the way she did. The only time he’d seen you look so pleased.

The dull clatter in his chest sharpens to a throbbing ache, as flesh would around a fresh knife wound. He flips over onto his side and sighs.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

The memory comes to him, clear and sharp as fresh-cut glass. The autumn sun paints thick streaks across the doujou floors, and afternoon practice has just ended. You’re sitting by the door, your hands folded neatly in your lap, your hair twisted back in a simple braid that fell over your right shoulder, tied off with a dark red bow. Anyone could see the care that was taken with it — the love inherent in the simple detail.

Zoro makes a show of stretching his arms over his head, yawning as the other boys all scramble towards you, Shimotsuki-sensei tutting as he watches, an indulgent grin on his lips.

“Gimme the blue one!”

“No I want the blue one!”

“Fine then gimme the yellow one!”

“I want the one that’s three layers!”

“That one is the prettiest —”

“As if you know what pretty means.”

“Yeah, well real men don’t like pretty things.”

Zoro scoffs, turning his head resolutely away. But a while later, you patter over with your basket, dropping down in front of him.

“There’s still the sakura one left, if you’d like.”

Zoro frowns, “A — a real swordsman knows the meaning of abstinence.”

You giggle, reaching into your basket to pull out a plain-looking mochi, pale pink and powdered in sugar. Zoro can tell from the dark red bleeding through the translucent skin that there’s an azuki filling — his favorite.

He gulps.

“Well, how can you know abstinence… if you don’t know indulgence first?”

Zoro chews on his lips for a second before making a show of rolling his eyes and plucking the mochi from your hand. He bites into it and swallows passed a delighted shiver. It’s delicious — the azuki sweet and creamy, the cherry-blossom skin perfectly chewy. It sticks to his teeth in the best way and he has to fight down a bright blush threatening his cheeks.

“Th-thanks.”

You smile, clearly pleased.

“Those are my favorite too,” you say, folding a white cloth over the mouth of the basket before pushing it aside — precise movements, not a moment wasted.

Zoro thinks, brashly, that you would’ve been a great swordswoman. Kuina’s always talking about how he’s wasting his movements by swinging wide or cutting too deep.

“Did… did you make them yourself?” he asks, scratching at his cheek, chancing you a single glance. You’re watching him with wide, dark eyes, clear and entrancing. He swallows, his mouth feeling suddenly very, very dry.

“Not all of them,” you look down at your hands, and he sighs with relief. It’s strange, holding your gaze like that — he’d always fancied that you could see more than you let on.

“Just the plain ones — I’m not good enough yet to make the more complicated ones,” you explain, toying with the tips of your fingers. Your nails are short and perfectly filed. There are bits of white stuck under them. Zoro wonders whether it’s sugar or flour or maybe a mix of both.

You look back at him with a crooked grin.

“But just between you and me —” you lean in, your eyes glittering, your voice conspiratorial, “the plain ones are always the best.

— — —

Zoro jerks awake to the sound of laughter, and grumbling, he twists himself out of the hammock, squinting in the morning light. Somehow, he’d slept clear passed dawn, and he curses himself for missing out on his morning katas.

Rounding his door, he follows the sound of voices till he comes into the kitchen, only to find you and Sanji, laughing, standing too close, the air around you a snowfall of powdered sugar. The slanting rays of the rising sun casts the entire scene in a sparkling, ambered glow, as if encasing the moment in honey.

Like this, the pale of sugar falling from your fingers looks like dust-motes caught in the liquid light.

“Zoro! You’re awake!” and there, the laughter in your voice, running undercurrent to the way you say his name. It’s been so long since he’d heard his name said like something more than just a name —

He purses his lips and scowls. An ugly, nameless thing rears its head inside Zoro’s chest.

“Yeah well — couldn’t really sleep last night.”

And he knows it’s unfair to be taking this out on you; he sees it in the flicker of emotions that passes by your face — hurt, confusion, hesitation, regret.

“Zoro —”

“Whatever. Just tell me when breakfast is ready.” He spins around and slinks out of the room, his chest twisting tight as a hangman’s noose, his heart a riot of irregular beats, slamming against his ribs.

“Zoro —!”

He makes it all the way up onto the main deck, his fingers digging into the hilt of his swords, heat pluming up and up and up till he swirls around to pin you with an icy stare.

“What?”

You shrink back, your brows furrowing, and for a second, he almost feels bad, feels like the naive boy he used to be, so desperate to prove himself to Kuina, and to you.

“I — we were just —” you look away, your eyes cutting across the flat deck of the ship towards the trap door that leads to the rooms below.

Zoro lets out a hollow laugh, backing away, his footsteps falling heavy, “No, it’s fine. You don’t have to explain. We don’t owe each other anything.”

Your gaze swings towards him, eyes wide and lips trembling.

Zoro notes with a savage satisfaction that your gaze is kaleidoscoped in unshed tears.

“No! That’s not — I’m —” your breath catches over your words, time and time again and Zoro allows himself a cruel grin, watching you struggle.

“You’re what?” he asks, unable to keep the poison from his voice.

“I’m sorry!”

Zoro nearly snarls as he rounds on you, a few quick steps carrying him into your personal space; you back away, scrambling back till your back thumps against the main mast.

“Sorry?” he repeats, his voice dangerous and low, “yeah… sure. Whatever.” He jerks back, shaking his head.

You narrow your eyes, “Don’t.”

Zoro’s lip curls, “Don’t?”

“Don’t walk away,” you say, swiping a hand across your mouth, licking your lips as you push yourself off the mast to face him.

“Oh, yeah? What else am I supposed to do, huh?” Zoro asks, casting his eyes up towards the endlessly blue sky. He feels anger bursting inside him like summertime sparklers, the fuses short, the explosions bright and unrelenting.

“Just… let me explain —”

“Explain? Explain what? How you nearly killed me twice? How you threatened me with my life? How you let me believe that you were dead for —” he throws his hands up, turning away from you, shaking his head, “for almost two months?”

“I had no choice!” you shout, your fists balled at your sides, “you really think Baroque Works — Crocodile would’ve let me send you a — a message?”

Zoro scoffs, “Well you could’a done something. Anything.”

You deflate, your fists loosening. You lean back against the mast, looking anywhere but at Zoro’s face.

“I didn’t mean to… to make you worry.”

Zoro lets out a hollow laugh.

“I wasn’t worried.”

Even without looking, he feels you wince at his words. He takes three steps towards you, and jerks your face up with two fingers and hisses into your face.

“I was mourning the death of a friend.”

Your breath hitches — he sees it in the way your pupils constrict, in the way your expression falls slack.

“If I — but I couldn’t — you don’t know what they did —”

Zoro very nearly sneers, the gaping wound inside him pulsing red and fire-poker hot as he lets go of your chin.

“You think you’re the only one with a tragic backstory? Look around,” he gestures around the main deck, where the whole crew’s gathered, with various expressions of shock and trepidation scattered across their faces.

Zoro tightens his hold, bearing down over you as he whispers, “You’re not special. Get over yourself.”

He jerks his hand away, turning to stalk back towards the trap door. He hears you cough behind him.

“You’re a real dick, Roronoa, you know that?”

He’s pleased to hear that at least your voice is shaky, even as your words burrow themselves beneath his skin.

He barely glances over his shoulder, “Yeah. Been told a good few times.”

And he strides from the deck, slamming the trap door behind him as he does.

— — —

“Hey.”

Zoro groans, barely peeling open one eye as Luffy edges his way into the small storage room.

“What?” Zoro asks, casting his eyes back at the wood-beamed ceiling.

Luffy crosses his arms, seemingly searching for the right words.

“That wasn’t very cool of you — what you did back there. But — I can kind of get where you’re coming from.”

Zoro chokes back an indignant laugh, “Yeah?”

Luffy nods, spurred on by his apparent acceptance, “Yeah! Like — I get it! You’re just mad that someone you cared so much about let you believe she was dead! But now that she’s not dead… you don’t really know what to do with your feelings!”

Zoro narrows his eyes, uncertain what to do with the surprisingly accurate diagnosis. Luffy is grinning, looking mightily pleased with himself as he plops down on top of a wooden barrel, crossing his legs.

“It’s a bit more than that,” Zoro says, letting his eyes flicker back to the ceiling.

“Yeah? Then tell me!”

Zoro sighs, considering his words.

“I mean, do you even know what it’s like? Thinkin’ you’ve lost one of your —” Zoro nearly chokes on the word, barbed and abrasive in his throat, but he forces it through, “your friends?”

Luffy nods, his smile never faltering, “Sure! You almost died at the Baratie and that really, really sucked for a while!”

Zoro jerks up, running a hand through his hair.

“That’s not — I mean —” he shakes his head, unable to entirely parse through his thoughts.

“It’s not really that different, is it?” Luffy asks.

Zoro groans, scratching at his scalp with his nails. He can’t refute Luffy, but he can’t verbalize why it had been so different for you either. It leaves him feeling gouged out and hollow as he slumps back into his hammock, leaving it swinging with the weight of his body.

“Its okay,” Luffy says, jumping to his feet and padding over to give Zoro a solid smack on the arm, “if you just say your sorry, I’m sure she’ll forgive you!”

Zoro nearly snarls as he scrambles up, but Luffy’s already bouncing out of the room, humming to himself.

“Oh! She’s in the kitchen — it’s weird, but I think she likes to make sweets when she’s stressed. Kinda nice though — it’s like we’ll never be short of desserts on the ship again!”

“Right,” Zoro says, leaning back into his hammock, scowling at the ceiling.

Luffy pauses by the door, “She’s not a bad person.”

Zoro sighs, hesitating perhaps a beat longer than he should have.

“Sure. If you say so.”

— — —

He dreams of you. He dreams of the later summer day when the air was so tepid that practice had ended early in lieu of letting all the students laze by the small koi pond in the backyard of the doujou complex.

You’d come over that morning with your usual sweets, and had stayed for lunch with the rest of the children.

Kuina had tried to teach you some basic forms with a wooden sword, but even from afar, Zoro could tell that you’re woefully inept at handling anything as long and unwieldy as a katana.

“If you practice, you’ll get better,” Kuina offers, leading you to the koi pond, where you’d peered curiously into the crystal clear water and gasped with pleasure at the white and black spotted fish that flickered beneath, their scales shimmering in the late summer sun.

“Betcha you couldn’t do a hundred swings,” Zoro says, thumbing at his nose, rolling up his sleeves. Next to you, Kuina rolls her eyes, but you stare at him for a long second before smiling.

“Sure! I can do a hundred.” You leap to your feet, and Kuina hands you one of the light wooden training swords.

Zoro takes great pains to pull out one of his real katanas, metal and cloth and all, dropping into a perfect sparring stance.

“One! Two!” he counts, swinging the sword down in a controlled motion, his heels digging in, his toes keeping him balanced.

You follow his movements, though after a good thirty of them, you gasp, the wooden sword clattering to the ground. Zoro turns, only to see you cradling one of your hands. He rushes forward, not caring that his own sword clanks down into the soft grass as well.

“It’s a splinter,” you say, forlorn as you hold up your forefinger to the light, a minuscule shard of wood protruding from the soft pad beneath your nail.

Zoro sighs, reaching out to grab your hand in his. He can’t help noticing the softness of your skin against his own callused palms, how small your hands feel in his.

“Hold still,” he says, peering at the splinter with a frown dug between his brows.

“I-it’s fine! My mom will take it out once I get home — and we’ve still got seventy more swings —”

Zoro tuts, shooting you a dark look, “If we don’t take care of it, it might get fester and get worse.”

You go quiet, your arm going slack as you let Zoro twist your hand this way and that. After a few more moments of silent assessment, Zoro leans in to press his thumb to the base of the splinter. You squeak in protest, jerking your arm back on instinct, but he’s stronger than you, even then, and he holds you still.

“Quit squirming! I’m gonna squeeze it out.”

You clamp down on your lips, eyes wide and watery as you force yourself still, and Zoro goes back to the gruesome work of forcing the splinter out bit by bit.

When finally, the needle of wood falls away from your hand, there’s bead of blood welling up into the wound. You press the finger into your mouth.

“Thanks,” you say, grinning at Zoro.

It’s only then that Zoro processes the blaze of heat that rushes into his cheeks. He looks away, clearing his throat.

“I’ve always hated those old practice swords — the handles aren’t wrapped well enough. Here —” he reaches down and hands you one of his real swords (the best and most well-balanced one), the hilt wrapped with fine black cloth, in a traditional diamond hatch.

Your wrists tip forward as he hands you the sword, but a second later, you hold it upright, marveling at it’s balance.

“Whoa… it’s so… beautiful.”

Zoro crinkles his nose, stepping back to pick up another one of his swords, dropping into a sparring stance again. He makes a concerted effort not to look in Shimotsuki-sensei’s direction, even though he can feel the man’s eyes tracking him, know the exact shape and luster of the man’s soft, knowing smile.

“C’mon, seventy more swings to go,” he gruffs, glancing back at you.

You nod eagerly, trying to mirror his stance. But your legs are too far apart, your knees not bent enough. And it’s plain as day the katana is a bit too long for your body. Still, Zoro smiles to himself as he begins to count again —

“Thirty-four, thirty-five —”

— — —

It’s a week before either of you speak to each other again. Though even Zoro has to be hard-pressed to not notice the delicate little sweets that now seem to accompany the ends of all their meals.

And he can hear your laughter, hard as he tries not to, the sound trickling into him like spring water — clear and sweet. He can see you frequently chatting with Nami, that familiar rosy glow to your cheeks, or hear you joking with Sanji, the pair of you staking opposite ends of the kitchen — you to make dessert, him to make whatever the hell he’s decided to make that day.

As for Zoro, he finds himself circling the periphery of these cheery moments, sticking to the shadows, somber as a vulture, watching you with dark eyes and a nameless weight bearing down on his chest. He knows he’s being unreasonable, that none of this is objectively your fault.

But as he’s heard Sanji say to Luffy more than once — feelings aren’t objective things. You kinda just have to let them be.

It’s a warm, sun-baked afternoon when he pushes into the kitchen and finds you there, by yourself for once, an apron tied around your waist, a bowl of fat, juicy strawberries sitting on the counter before you, the area around the counter dusted in a fine layer of flour and sugar.

“Ow — shit —” you drop the tiny parring knife you’d been holding, bringing your hand up to your eyes.

The late afternoon light cuts slantwise across the entire kitchen, illuminating the shape of you in a solid chunk of shadow, like a piece of cut cloth in the dappled, golden light, inked against the freshly waxed floors (courtesy of Usopp, at Sanji’s snack-based behest).

“What happened?” Zoro rushes forward before he can stop himself.

“N-nothing,” you say, making as if to jerk back, but Zoro catches your hand and forces it forward into the light. He can see the small snick the knife had made on your palm.

Scowling, he looks up at you, a silent question in his eyes.

“I was — I was peeling the strawberries.”

He’s caught momentarily off-guard by the strangeness of your answer.

“Peeling strawberries?”

You blush, the color saturating your skin like the berry juice staining your fingertips.

“Yeah! Cause… the strawberry skins have those little seeds in them, and that creates a strange texture if it’s mixed into the filling so —”

Zoro scoffs, reaching into a drawer to pull out a bandage and a small roll of gauze.

“Hold still,” he says, leaning down to wipe the cut lean.

You sigh, your voice falling flat as you say, only half-jokingly, “Don’t worry — it’s nothing. It won’t kill me.”

Zoro levels you with a sharp glare and you freeze mid-breath, clamping down over your lips as you drop your head to hide your eyes behind your soft bank of bangs. Zoro resumes his work, his heart thundering an irregular beat at the back of his throat.

He finishes bandaging you in silence, and then, he drops your hand and turns to leave.

“Wait —”

He stops, barely sparing you a look over his shoulder.

“I —” you teeter on the balls of your feet; he can feel you weighing your words, searching for the right ones to say. Finally, you settle on, “I’m making sakura-mochi next. Do you… do you want to try some?”

Zoro huffs, turning back around with slightly narrowed eyes. He regards you for a long moment before making his way to the sofa and dropping into it, folding his arms. You let out a visible breath, the tension draining from your shoulders as you make to pick up the parring knife again.

“Here, I got it.” Zoro is by your side in an instant, plucking the small knife from your grasp and tugging the bowl of fruit towards him.

“But —”

“I might not be a waiter, but I can handle my knives,” he says, squaring his shoulders as he starts the methodical work of skinning each strawberry.

The silence coagulates around the pair of you like melted butter, growing colder by the minute. You carefully measure out half a cup of warm water and pour it into the pristine white rice flour, kneading the forming dough as you go.

Zoro plunks one strawberry after another into a separate bowl, dropping the thin strips of pebbled skin into the trash.

After another few moments, you pause. So does he.

“That other day —”

“I should’ve told you —”

You both talk at the same time, both freezing after a single, starling heartbeat.

Zoro sighs, shrugging up a shoulder.

“You first.”

You resume your gentle kneading of the lumpy dough.

“No, it’s just… I… I get it. I know why your mad at me. But… it’s not that simple,” you say, your voice imploring.

Zoro’s shoulders stiffen, “Seemed pretty simple to me.”

“What did you expect me to do? Bare my soul to you the first time we’d met after almost a decade? After you’d been hunting me for weeks — for a bounty?”

Zoro drops his hands, one still poised on the knife’s handle, the other cradling a half-skinned strawberry.

“I wouldn’tve — you know I wouldn’t —” he nearly whips the knife across the room in frustration, but thinks better of it at the last second. It drops from his hand with a dull clatter as he reaches out to wipe his hands on a discarded towel.

“I… I hoped…” your voice fractures along the word and Zoro places the strawberry into its bowl.

“I hoped you might’ve… recognized —“ you try again, but Zoro shakes his head.

“A good hunter always keeps his distance,” he recites, words dull. You nod, pursing your lips. It was something sensei had taught him — don’t strike until you absolutely have to. And when you do, make it quick.

Slowly, you start to knead the dough again, pressing the heel of your hand into the center. Zoro watches the soft white of it bulge beneath your fingers, the rough lumps smoothing out until the entire thing is round and soft and perfect.

Zoro folds his arms, leaning a hip against the counter.

“Why didn’t you tell me? The first time?” he asks, the accusation now gone from his voice, replaced by something much, much worse — uncertainty.

“I couldn’t — not without Baroque Works tracking me and —” you bite off the last bit of your sentence, looking away.

“And what?” Zoro asks, his voice gentle.

“It’s nothing. You’re right — I should’ve —”

“No,” Zoro says, grabbing you by the wrists and forcing you to him, “tell me what they did to you. I — I want to know.”

You lick your lips, your eyes watery, fractaled by the dying light, “But… maybe I don’t want you to know. I don’t want — want to you think of me like — like that.”

Zoro lets out a mirthless puff of laughter, “Bit too late for that.”

Your eyes snap back to his, wide and searching.

He shrugs, grip loosening ever so slightly on your wrists.

“I —” he has to fight through the tightness in his throat, the dryness papering the back of his tongue, “I thought of you all the time,” he admits, licking his lips, “most nights, I’d have these dreams of when we were both —” he breaks off again, his mind mired in the haze of half-forgotten memories.

“When we were both kids?” you offer gently.

Zoro nods.

“So please… tell me what happened.”

You stare at him as he stares at you. He sighs, the edge of his lips twitching up ever so slightly.

“And… you promised.”

A tiny laugh punches out of you, startled and resigned all at once. You nod.

“Yeah… guess I did.”

The last dregs of sunset bleeds the room empty, and the pair of you are suddenly thrown into a pitched, primal dark. In it, your eyes shown, black and glassy.

“My parents were always living on borrowed time,” you say, trailing a finger through the fine dust of rice flour on the counter, “they…” you break off in a puff of laughter, the sound so course it doesn’t even register as a laugh.

“They couldn’t have a child, so they… got creative. They were young and in love, and desperate to start a family.”

Zoro frowns, trying to piece the disparate pieces of the story together.

“Do you know where Devil Fruits come from?” you ask, dusting your hands off before wiping them on your apron and reaching for a piece of wax paper to wrap your freshly made rice dough. Zoro watches you move through the seemingly mundane tasks, his mind spinning.

“Uh — not really. Never really thought about it.”

You nod, pressing the wax paper in around the edges of the dough, folding it in neat, origami lines until the whole thing is wrapped.

“Legends say that Devil Fruits are enchanted by Sea Devils — manifesting when humans want something enough to wish it into existence. Most of the time, the trade-off is simple — the Devil Fruit eater gains some kind of power, but gives up their ability to survive in seawater,” a wry smile plays at your lips.

“Have you ever thought of the average life expectancy for a Devil Fruit eater?”

Zoro shakes his head, frown carving deeper and deeper between his brows.

“Well, I can tell you — it’s not as long as you might think. Most of them end up dying young…”

From beyond the windows, a pale, silvery moon peaks out from the far horizon, casting the room in a cold, alien glow. You wrap your arms around yourself, as if defending against an unseen chill, and Zoro feels the familiar pull behind his navel, to reach out for you and pull you close.

“My parents wished, but when they got their wish, it wasn’t a god that had answered them — it was —“

“A Sea Devil.”

There’s no question in Zoro’s tone, no room for shock or wonder or bewilderment. He’d watched you die; and yet here you are in front of him, traced silver by the moonlight.

You nod, reaching up to drag your fingers through your hair, and Zoro watches, breathless, at the inky spill of it over your shoulder, shielding your face from the burgeoning light.

“What did they trade?” Zoro asks, though a part of him thinks he already knows.

“Their lives,” you answer simply.

Zoro narrows his eyes, “Still doesn’t explain how you ended up —“ he motions at the stagnant air between them. Above decks, he can hear the sound of a fire being built, the clatter of footsteps and the warm trickle of laughter.

You shrug, “The cardinal rule of wish-making, as any good fairy-tale will tell you,” you spin a finger around in the air before pointing it at Zoro, “is… specificity.”

Zoro grunts, casting his eyes down at the bowl of half-skinned strawberries.

“Careful what you wish for…” he says.

You raise your thumb, your forefinger still pointed at him, now in a finger-gun shape, before pulling an invisible trigger. Zoro feels a shiver shake him all the way down to his bones.

“Apparently, when they said ‘we’ll give you our lives’, they didn’t know they’d wished away my life too.”

Zoro swallows, “So… what? They made another deal?”

“Yep,” you sound entirely too bright, reaching behind yourself now to untie the apron, “they made another deal.”

“And what did they trade away this time?”

You slip the apron from around your middle, reaching out to hang it on a hook by the far wall. When you turn around, it’s to find Zoro still watching you, the curves of his face washed colorless by the moon.

You offer him a small, heartbreaking smile.

“The only thing they had left to trade — my death.”

TAGLIST: @brairslair @msheds0519 @yunabelless @lynndt-chocolate @@lostonthrillerbark @stunies @tsumu-senpai @phroggii @ssailormoonnn @breathinginyoursmoke @guridoodles @kyllium @naomihatake @itoshiexx @mythicallystupid @mars-mizuko @astroniii @crispynutella @enhastolemyheart @fanficwriter101 @jamesbparker @dira333 @weirdowithaphone @ink-perfect @lodeddiperrodrick @not-a-glad-gladiator @vinskypuff @itsagoodluckkiss @blondethinkpink @ellelowthere @annievrse @m333myselfandiii @tsubaki3192 @grapelover2000 @teewon @keigoskrio @ggyuslovie @manuosorioh @one17 @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @emmaiscool22 @ponyboys-sunsets @m333myselfandiii @13-09-01 — pls comment below if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!

[shmisky]

One of the things I love about old Stancest (I think that’s my favorite era for them) is the fact, imo, that their relationship never really will be the same anymore. Not necessarily the angst of it all, but the new romantic tension that this would bring.

Ok, so. Just look at this.

Ford’s drawing of himself and his brother on the Stan O’ War II in Journal 3 is of course adorable, but beyond that, it’s clearly inspired by Ford’s beloved picture of them as kids. As if the Stans will, now, return to the same sweet camaraderie they always had. Will they, though?

This isn’t meant to sound ominous. I just don’t think that would be realistic, and that isn’t what the Lost Legends comics show us, either. Don’t Dimension It is apparently set before the Sea Grunkles era, but already after Weirdmaggedon. The behavior that we see from the Stans is, to put it simply, the behavior of an old married couple, with lots of clowning and bickering. The fact that Mabel had to intervene and advise two grown men to take care of each other instead is both delicious Stancest fuel and ridiculously funny!

Now, their relationship wasn’t always like that. I find it great that in the same book we have three stages of the Stans’ relationship: pre-Weirdmaggedon old Stans, post-Weirdmaggedon old Stans, and child Stans. The Stans as children act visibly sweeter towards each other, imo, than even post-Weirdmaggedon Stans. They haven’t quite recovered that childlike innocence, nor do I ever expect them to.

I know that at this point I might just be confirming the obvious, but 1) I promise I have a point, and 2) what I like to do sometimes is to focus on a little detail that everyone kind of already knows and think of all the implications. A bit like tearing a bread apart with my fingers, piece by piece.

There’s simply too much baggage, too much history between them now. Even if they made up and Ford apologized nonstop like Dipper tells us in J3 and Stan forgave him wholeheartedly, things won’t magically return to the point they were before Ford started to feeling “suffocated” by Stan. (I do believe the cracks in their relationship started before the science fair accident. I will expand on this in a future meta!)

Not only because of what happened between them, but because of what happened to each of them, separately. Both have changed a lot (not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well), became different people to survive, and are now deeply damaged. Both are carrying huge traumas of their own, and since they’re emotionally constipated old men with an attitude that would make Mabel shake her head in disapproval, I think it’s going to take a while before they fully trust each other with their past. They know their brother deserves the truth, of course, but it’s not that simple. There’s a lot to unpack, and I imagine that the fear of being judged and the fear of upsetting the other don’t make for a good mix. What if Stan hears a bad tale of Ford’s portal days, or Ford hears a story of Stan’s homeless days in which he barely escaped alive, and blames himself?

More than that, their own physical appearance drives the point home. Ford’s body is all athletic, likely full of tattoos (both embarassing ones and cool ones, I think) and scars. Stan, on the other hand, makes use of hearing aids, dentures, and an orthopedic pillow; probably with a few scars of his own, more than just the brand, and a slouch he didn’t have in his younger days. The contrast is even clearer when Stan isn’t wearing his Mr. Mystery suit and girdle. They still look decently like twins to deceive both the kids and Bill (and make Pacifica think Ford was Stan but hotter), and I’m sure sailing will help Stan’s health, but some of those differences are impossible to erase. They went from actually identical twins who could only be told apart by Ford’s fingers to grown men with strong characteristics of their own.

Once upon a time, I imagine, wether romantically or not, they were as familiar with each other’s secrets, thoughts, and bodies as with their own. Now they’re practically strangers. United by a very intense love and connection that couldn’t die in the 40 years they were separated, but strangers all the same.

All of this can sound a bit sad, perhaps, but I think—and that’s the point I want to make—it’s a sexy dynamic with a lot of potential. It gives space, for example, for exploring and discovering, and, since I’m a shipper, falling in love with that stranger that your twin brother became. The lack of familiarity gives way to a lot of romantic and sexual tension. Both of them know and understand a lot of what they didn’t back then. As an example, Ford, in my opinion, values Stan now in a way that he never did before. You only miss something after you lose it, after all, and they spent so much time apart and yearning and longing and repressing and overall feeling like a part of them was missing. The pent-up desire, as well, heh 😏

Imagining them being vulnerable after all of that—crying into each other’s chest (mostly Stan tbh, since Ford isn’t much of a crier), mapping out each other’s bodies, finally opening up—that’s my jam.

Perhaps they can’t recover the old dynamic, but they can make something even better.

[merlinrarepairfest]

2024 Masterlist

And that's a wrap, everyone! With 27 incredible fills, this year's round of the Rare Pair Fest concludes, and I want to say a massive thank you to all the writers, artists, readers, and cheerleaders! <3

You can find all fills in the AO3 Collection, and also listed beneath the cut. Enjoy!

Title: like diamonds we are cut with our own dust AO3 username: SlantedKnitting | @slantedknitting Rating: Explicit Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 5,068 words Pairing/main characters: Merlin/Elyan Up to 10 tags: canon era, Merlin’s magic is horny

Summary:

Merlin’s magic has always been sensitive to iron. When he moves to Camelot, iron becomes harder to avoid. Especially when the local blacksmith is the most beautiful man Merlin has ever seen.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59524846

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Title: Yet Another Super Psycho Love Story AO3 username: merthurianlegends | @samwinjester Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings Medium/Word Count: video & fic (794 words) Pairing/main characters: Gaius/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (implied) Up to 10 tags: Video, BBC Merlin Rare Pair Fest 2024 (Merlin), Grumpy Old Men, GILF action, GILF, Old Friends, Friends to Lovers, Possession, Spells & Enchantments, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary: 

Uther's bewitchment didn't quite go away, and then mister loose tongue licky-licky caught the King's eye. Maybe there's a kiss in the throne room. Maybe they run a ponzi scheme together. Maybe the goblin sees it as a perfect opportunity to get the ultimate gold (Uther's crown). The possibilities are limitless.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59889388

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Title: More Than Being Unknown AO3 username: solsprite | @jayprobably Rating: T Warnings: mild violence, internalised transphobia Medium/Word Count: 4,535 words Pairing/main characters: Leon/Merlin Up to 10 tags: trans!Merlin, trans character by trans author, everyone in Camelot is emotionally constipated, angst with a happy ending, first kiss

Summary:

“Please just—don’t tell Arthur. I’ll go. I’ll leave Camelot as soon as I can, but let me take my secrets with me. Let me say my goodbyes.” “Merlin.” Leon’s always steady voice sounds devastated, and it takes Merlin by surprise. The sheer depth of concern in it is the complete opposite of the reaction he was expecting and he finds he has to look away for a moment to collect himself. “I won’t tell a soul,” Leon continues, despite the fact Merlin can’t even meet his eyes. Sincerity bleeds into his words, the raw emotion from a moment ago seemingly in check, though when Merlin forces himself to look at Leon again, worry is etched clearly on his face. “Nobody is going to make you leave Camelot. I’m just so very sorry you’ve been carrying this alone for so long.”

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59918920

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Title: Kiss me on the mouth and set me free AO3 username: GuiltyScarl3t | @guiltyscarlet Rating: M Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Medium/Word Count: 1,350 Pairing/main characters: Lancelot/Arthur Pendragon Up to 10 tags: Episode: The Darkest Hour, Episode: Lancelot du Lac, Canon Divergence, Shade Lancelot, Mind Control, Assassination Attempt, Hurt No Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending

Summary:

Set in Lancelot du Lac. "These doe eyes, which have been haunting his nights since Samhain— long before that if he’s being honest—meet his own and steal his breath." or Lancelot returns months after Samhain

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/bbcm_rare_pair_fest_2024/works/59982856

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Title: AVALON VOICES AO3 username: be_my_druidess | @the-king-and-the-druidess Rating: T Warnings: Creator chose not use Archive warnings Medium/Word Count: Fanfic/11,039 Pairing/Main Characters: Mordred/Morgana; Morgana, Mordred, Catrina Tregor, Uther Pendragon Tags: Modern Setting, Reincarnation, Arthur Pendragon returns, Heavy angst, Mental health issues, Romance, Morgana-centic, Wicca, Good Mordred, Mental institutions

Summary: 

Unable to cope with the loss of her brother and problems with her father and stepmother, Morgana ends up in the Avalon Mental Hospital. She leaves it with the desire to become a witch. Through strange visions, fears and nightmares, she tries to find her way and find out the truth about what is happening to her. This leads her to Mordred, a neo-druid and manager of a Wiccan bookstore.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60021823

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Title: Courage Was The Key AO3 username:RangerJedi67 | @wanderingjedihistorian Rating: Gen Warnings: None Apply Medium/Word Count: 4,337 Pairing/main characters: Leon/Morgana Up to 10 tags: Canon divergence, Siblings Arthur & Morgana, Background Arthur/Gwen, Leon & Arthur friendship, Suspicious Arthur, Protective Gwen, Determined Morgana, Competent Leon

Summary:

“Sir Leon and I wish to marry.” Morgana stood to her full height, carrying herself with surety and courage. Arthur respected that. Her words, however, confused him. Why did she and Leon wish to marry? “You what?” Uther said, tone just this side of incredulous. Squaring her shoulders, clearly preparing to dig her heels in for a fight, Morgana stared right back at him. “I wish to marry Sir Leon,” Morgana repeated. “I will marry him.”

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60028777

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Title: Caged Prince AO3 username: cynthia1314 | @cynthia39100 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Medium/Word Count: fic/11869 words Pairing/main characters: Arthur/Gwaine, (one-sided) Arthur/Cenred Up to 10 tags: Arthur Whump, Essetir Knight Gwaine, Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Non-Con Content, Referenced Drug Use, Hopeful Ending

Summary:

Arthur was forced to marry the enemy king Cenred in order to stop a war. Gwaine, never lost his father, is a reluctant knight of Essetir. Knowing the danger they're in, the two of them still fall for each other. 

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60030565/chapters/153162175

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Title: Conium maculatum AO3 username: twistedshipper | @twistedshipper Rating: Mature Warnings: Chose not to warn Medium/Word Count: Fic,5,933 words Pairing/main characters: Morgana & Morgause Up to 10 tags: Post-series 2, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, The Dark Tower, Witchcraft, The Old Religion, Sister-Sister Relationships, Poison, Dissociative Identity Disorder

Summary:

When Morgause's plans to overthrow the mad King Uther come to ruin and all on account of a young boy and a flask of poison hemlock, she whisks Morgana away to the Isle of the Blessed whereby to bring her back from the brink of death, and from there to the Dark Tower to subject her to the hallucinogenic mandrake root in order to win her over to her side once and for all. All goes according to plan, and Morgause is more certain than ever of her sister's loyalty to her and her cause, except what if what she brought back is not entirely the Morgana she once held dear and loved?

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60034450

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Title: sweet like honey AO3 username: kairennart (personaje) | @kairennart Rating: Mature Warnings: Choose Not To Use Warnings Medium/Word Count: Digital art Pairing/main characters: Lancelot/Arthur Pendragon Up to 10 tags: Shade Lancelot

Summary:

Lancelot's lips don't leave Arthur's as he slides his hand under the pillow and grabs the dagger. He sits up, feeling the way Arthur shifts underneath him, and with both hands drives the dagger to his King's chest.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60072397

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Title: The Talking Treatment AO3 username: PierrotPatroclus | @pierrotpatroclus Rating: Gen Warnings: None Apply Medium/Word Count: 3663 Pairing/main characters: Leon/Gwaine Up to 10 tags: Childhood friends, soulmate au, miscommunication

Summary:

They've been friends forever, but an offhand comment at a bar causes a complete re-evaluation

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60049156

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Title: Figures On An Urn AO3 username: Ynnealay | @thefollow-spot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Medium/Word Count: 2,041 words Pairing/main characters: Leon & Arthur Up to 10 tags: Some angst, Relationship Study, Character Study, Druid Raids, One Shot

Summary:

Arthur is shaken in the aftermath of his first Druid raid. Leon is there for him.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60053725

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Title: keep the windows open A03 Username: Sage_Owl Rating: teen and up audiences Warnings: no archive warnings apply Medium/word count: fic/4,806 Pairing/main characters: Ygraine/Nimueh Up to 10 tags: modern era, soulmate-identifying marks, college, weddings, not actually unrequited love, arranged marriage, first kiss, getting together, happy ending, everyone hates Uther Pendragon 

Summary:

Nimueh knows she can't ever have Ygraine in the way she wants- but that doesn't mean she's willing to lose her, either.

A03 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60055756/

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Title: The Mirrhe sweete bleeding, the Ash for nothing ill AO3 username: Zorbo_Jorks | @zorbojorks Rating: G Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Medium/Word Count: Fic/ 1300 words Pairing/main characters: Elena/Mithian; Elena, Mithian Up to 10 tags: First Meetings, Feasts & Banquets, Pre-Relationship, Post-Season/Series 3, Cute and Happy, Horse Talk, Bonding over Horses

Summary:

It has been months since Elena has been freed of her changeling curse, and to say the adjustment to normal princess-hood has been easy would be a flat-out lie. She is still the same clumsy, blustering young woman she ever was, only now she is aware of how embarrassing that can be for her. Especially when her father is hosting a feast for delegates of neighboring kingdoms. Even more so when one of those delegates is Princess Mithian of Nemeth, who has the keen ability to fluster Elena with just a look and a smile. Oh, how can she possibly make it through the evening?

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60066730

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Title: but, baby, i'm a rebel AO3 username: insane_faclon | @insane-ohwhyfandoms Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Medium/Word Count: Fic, 1.8k Pairing/main characters: Elyan/Morgana Up to 10 tags: AU - High School, Party, Underage Drinking, Sexual Harassment by Cenred, Kissing

Summary:

Morgana's crushing hard on her best friend's older brother. It's a problem.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60069466

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Title: [ART] My Pet AO3 username: Mischel | @magicalmischel Rating: M Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: art Pairing/main characters: Morgana/Freya Up to 10 tags: digital art, light dom/sub, cat ears, bamf morgana, suggestive themes, canon divergence

Summary:

Merlin isn't the one who found and rescued Freya. Morgana is.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60077356

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Title: Learning to Stay AO3 username: SlantedKnitting | @slantedknitting Rating: Mature Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 5.5k Pairing/main characters: Elyan/Gwaine Up to 10 tags: canon era, Elyan has magic

Summary:

Elyan has always had a hard time staying in one place. Thoughts of leaving always tempt him, even when he’s settled in Camelot as a knight. It doesn’t help that he always has to hide who he is and hide his magic. Then he and Gwaine grow close, too close, and maybe Elyan has a reason to stay put this time. Until Gwaine discovers his secret, and all Elyan wants to do is leave. Again.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60069850

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Title: Merlin's knight in muddy armour. AO3 username: ohmerthurcharm | @oh-merthur-charm Rating: Mature Warnings: Angst Medium/Word Count: 1,244 Pairing/main characters: Gwaine/Merlin Up to 10 tags: Merlin's magic revealed, angst, kissing, crying, escape, bathing/washing, affection, hopeful ending.

Summary:

Arthur is saved by Merlin publicly just before he gets seriously injured. The problem? His magic was revealed by his daring attempt in saving his King's life. Now he is on the run, with two pairs of footprints being tracked by the King and his men. Merlin has help and it is Sir Gwaine himself. Prompt: Gwaine has always been Merlin’s knight. By: HadrianPeverellBlack. This is for the Rare pair fest 2024.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60070792

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Title: The Green Duvet AO3 Username: pyjamacryptid | @pyjamacryptid Rating: Gen Warnings: Major Character Death Medium/Word Count: Fanfiction / 2,292 Words Pairing/Main Characters: Gwen & Gwaine, Elyan & Gwen, Elyan/Gwaine Up to 10 Tags: Merlin (TV) Season/Series 05, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Relationship Reveal

Summary:

Gwen, finally released from Morgana’s curse, finds herself with a lot of mourning to catch up on. Gwaine, mourning more than he lets anyone know, finds Gwen in Elyan’s room. They talk and, maybe, begin to heal.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60070741

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Title: Saw You In A Dream AO3 username: lavender_spice | @lesbianlefay Rating: G Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 1.9k Pairing/main characters: Gwen/Morgana Up to 10 tags: Role Reversal AU, First Meeting

Summary:

When Morgana met a mysterious girl on her first day in the castle, she had no idea how much her life was about to change.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60077800

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Title: to hold our destiny AO3 Username: fictified | @fictivecircle Rating: g Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 1,778 words Pairing/Main Characters: Iseldir/Leon Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Modern Camelot, First Responder Leon, Iseldir makes coffee as well as moves, but this is really just very soft, First Meetings

Summary:

Iseldir serves the coffee; Leon comes back for more.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60123463

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Title: You Should Never Know (How Easy You Are To Need) AO3 username: BeBraveDearHeart | @bebravedearheart Rating: M Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Medium/Word Count: Fanfiction - 8,374 words Pairing/main characters: Arthur/Lancelot Up to 10 tags: pining, closeted Arthur Pendragon, canon compliant, Arthur Pendragon Needs A Hug, Arthur Pendragon Is Bad At Feelings, Lancelot is so bloody sincere, Goodbyes

Summary:

"Arthur waited on the training field in full armour, his surcoat pristine with the Pendragon crest sewn on in shimmering thread by Guinevere (by far the best seamstress in Camelot). He held his head high and proud, shoulders back, spine straight and drawn up to his full height. He looked resplendent, and knew as much by the second and third glances that came his way from nobles and servants alike as he strode the corridors, then the grounds. Suitably intimidating then. After all, he needed the best; he wasn’t going to go any easier on Merlin’s friend just because that was who it was. The man that walked up to him gave Arthur pause. He wore chainmail and a surcoat dyed a shade of orange that ought to look garish and unprofessional, yet somehow complemented the would-be knight’s dark complexion. His deep-brown eyes and hair to match fell just above his shoulders, and his chin was shadowed with stubble kept neat. He stood half an inch shorter than Arthur, though held himself with quiet confidence. The angles of his face were statuesque and they captivated Arthur as much as any fine piece of art."

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60151489

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Title: Sorting Out Shenanigans AO3 username: 429_CarCrash | @carcrash429 Rating: Gen Warnings: None Medium/Word Count: 549 Pairing/main characters: Gwen & Gwaine Up to 10 tags: slice of life, behind the scenes, Episode: s04e06 A Servant of Two Masters (Merlin), Chaotic Besties

Summary:

It’s good to have a friend to check in with when something is afoot in the castle.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60250057

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Title: Rogue Resonance AO3 username: Pearl09 | @pearlll09 Rating: T Warnings: No archive warnings, but violence Medium/Word Count: Fic: 11k, art: 3 pieces! Pairing/main characters: Morgwen Up to 10 tags: Cyberpunk AU, Dystopia AU, Double Agents, Falling in love, getting together, codenames

Summary:

Morgana has a plan to infiltrate the rebels, who have been causing chaos in the city. She hopes to gather important information Arthur and Uther can use to break the group down, but doesn't know that the rebels are actually doing more for the city than Uther ever has. Can she truly pick a side without being seen as a traitor by both groups?

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60667987/chapters/154915444

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Title: friends are the ones who are there at the end AO3 username: Shana_Rose | @shana-rosee Rating: T Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 3,725 Pairing/main characters: Mithian & Arthur Up to 10 tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bisexuality, 5+1 Things

Summary:

The moment she opened the door Mithian knew something was wrong. Arthur was breathing heavily on his bike, holding a bag close to his chest. “Arthur? What’s wrong?” Arthur climbed off his bike and looked around before opening the bag.' She gasped, it was full of broken glass! “My dad says we’re not supposed to touch broken glass Arthur!” - Five times Mithian helps Arthur out, and the one time, he returns the favour.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60842395

---

Title: Turn and face the strange (Changes) AO3 username: Salamandair | @salamandair Rating: Teen+ Warnings: None Medium/Word Count: 19k Pairing/main characters: Arthur/Gwaine Up to 10 tags: Modern AU, Fake Dating, Pining Arthur, Happy Ending

Summary:

Against his better judgement, even though he has unrequited feelings for him, Arthur agrees to accompany Gwaine to his family’s for the weekend as his fake boyfriend. It was just for a weekend, it wasn’t a big deal. Right?

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60917116/chapters/155609077

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Title: Finally I know you  AO3 username: Fighting_for_Creativity  Rating: Teen and up  Warnings: no archive warnings apply  Medium/Word Count: Fanfic, 1,863  Pairing/main characters: Percival/ Gwaine, Percival, Gwaine  Up to 10 tags: Post-Canon, story of healing, getting to know your beau, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, having lived with druids Percival, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Feelings   

Summary: 

The war was over. The loss was great. Percival could not lose Gwaine too, and thankfully he didn't have to. Both men have lived through hell, and it takes time to recover from that. Thankfully, they both got it and arms they could hide from the world from in.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60895162

---

Title: and underneath all that, it's you AO3 username: The_Questing_Beast | @ummyesisthisjasongrace Rating: General Audiences Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 1787 words Pairing/main characters: Gwaine/Leon, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan Up to 10 tags: Canon Era, leon is an emotional mess, emotionally repressed, repressed feelings concealed by sense of duty, Gwaine's a little shit (canon), The Rising Sun, Knight Shenanigans (sort of)

Summary:

One thing was for sure: he would never - ever - listen to Gwaine again. Why he had ever let himself be persuaded that this would be a good idea in the first place seemed incomprehensible to him now. It must have been a temporary mental derangement on his part, otherwise he would never have agreed to come along when Gwaine had invited all the Knights into the Rising Sun after training. So there he was now, crammed on a bench between Elyan and Gwaine, taking a sip of his second jug of ale because no, of course the others wouldn’t let him leave after just one. Still it didn't seem to be enough just yet. Or: Leon is almost as emotionally constipated as Arthur, but Gwaine knows what lies behind his dutiful exterior and tries to tickle it out of him.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60941803

[emtornado]

RUNNING THOUGHTS FROM EP 12 of WHEN THE PHONE RINGS

• Wtf do you mean he disappeared

• nooooooo my poor bb heejoo :(

• I’m so glad miss MIL is in jail/dying

• oh so he IS alive he’s just in touch in in-ha for some god forsaken reason bloody hell

• what in the flying fuck is argan

• did they. Did they just. CREATE A COUNTRY.

• LMAO BRO SAID FUCK YALL IMMA FIND MY HUSBAND EVEN IF HE IS IN SOME RANDOM FICTIONAL WAR COUNTRY

• ‘my husband likes sunsets so idc imma go and watch it even if i die 🎀’

• respectfully what the fuck is happening did she just get captured bbgirl 😭😭😭😭😭

• Yo she matches his freak so well he just kidnapped her and I BET she will be okay with it

• it HAS to be him cmon

• ITS HIM ITS HIM ITS HIM YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I KNEW IT

• MOTHERFUCKER IS WEARING HIS RING YES AS YOU SHOULD YOU WHIPPED MF

• ‘let them fall apart, I’ll ruin everything’ hee joo take my heart would and everything else i love you

• I swear to all that’s holy that if ‘my father killed your brother and that’s the reason you were mute’ is the reason why bro decided to yeet himself I will find a way into argan myself to give him a slap

• fuck this shit.

• you have GOT to be kidding me.

• this is quite literally the dumbest shite ever.

• like okay. He feels guilt. I can understand that. But sir please braincells 😭😭😭😭😭😭

• ‘Is that why you left me? Because you felt bad’ MY EXACT THOUGHT BBGIRL YOUR HUSBAND IS DUMB

• punishment. Bro someone introduce this man to bdsm I feel like he would benefit from it. And therapy. Also therapy. So much therapy.

• reinstating my belief that even when men are cutie lil husbands who love their wives, they’re still fools <3

• hee joo is so forgiving and understanding cuz if a man did this with me id go psycho on him on the fucking spot

• STOP HOLDING BACK BE HAPPY FOR GHE LOVE OF GOD GOOD LORD YOU DUMBASSES

• wow steam 👀

• wow divorce

• he deserves to be his own name amen

• OH MY GODS THEIR PICTURES ARE ADORABLEEEEEEEEE I LOVE THIS

• I love mr kang.

• I love them all.

• SHE HAS A RING AWWWWW YAYYYYY

• welcome baek yu-yeon we are glad to meet you xx

• he’s a cringe in love this is beautiful <3

• let him open a restaurant please

• I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED SLAY YOU-RI AND SANG-WOO

• I LOVE HOW MR KANG TOLD SANG WOO TO CALL HIM FOR MARRIED LIFE ADVICE HAJAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

• just our best babies surrounded by the people who love them/the people they love

• bye bro finally happiness

• OMG ITS FISH PLACE UNCLE DHDKSHSJSJSNSK YAY

• ykw I like chairman hong he truly just wants her happy (yes ik he enabled her mutism before but shush pls)

• omg mother is being nice all hail

• I’m so thankful that in-a is apologising as well hee joo deserves all the apologies and love she’s always craved 😭😭

• OUR BABIES HAVW GROWN UP FROM THE EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED DUMBASSES THEY WERE IN EPISODE ONE

• The separation anxiety between these two is real

• I love love love how he’s still calling her 406

• happy endings for the fucking win yall <3

Thank you for joining me. See you soon byeeeeee

[imsogayhelpme]

"Eyebrows seemingly drawn by a single, uninterrupted stroke of a famed artists' brush; a nose and a chin shaped in perfect angles that defied attempts to measure them through mere device of men; a pair of deep eyes seemingly carved out of a beautiful jewel containing all the misfortunes found in this world"

[CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD!!! WE LOVE HIM <3

[sttoru]

can older bf!satoru hug me please, hug me so tight i can only feel him all around me, hugging me so tight that the only thing i can hear are his heartbeat and soft breath 🥺

i want him to kiss me softly, kiss all of my face from my forehead to my eyelids down to my nose then my cheek and lastly my lips 🥺

step aside toji and kuna, your number 1 fans want some softness, learn to love me right 😤 (i lie i still love my emotionally constipated men)

- 🗑

AMEN TO EVERYTHING UVE SAIDDDDD 🙏🏽🙏🏽 older bf satoru if u can hear us, please save us pleaseee we beggggggggg

he’d be so soft and gentle im gonna cryyyyyyy <3 the little kisses all over your face yesss thats def something he would do late at night t_t

[papakhan]

Character Ask Game: 2, 6, 10, and 29 for Boone. Go on, be a hater. Unleash it. 👀

oh my god i think i reblogged that meme back in January and only just saw these I'm Soooo sorry :'( I will do them now as well while I'm here. Also thank you so much for enabling me to be a little hater <3

Character Asks

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you’ve sent me a character I don’t like)

I mixture of 2 things made me into a true Boone hater. No.1 is When I first played New Vegas I thought the Khans were kinda wack, not really evil but I didn't really like them either. Then I got the line from Jack about Papa being "a softie at heart" and it immediately made me rethink them. And me being more sympathetic towards them made me question the rest of their treatment at the hands of other characters in the game, one of whom being Boone. No.2 was seeing how wack his fans were about defending his actions and how much they will make shit up about him to justify his actions. Like idk I saw fem!courier number 8784589 loving stroking Boone's arm and tearfully say "its soo sad you were forced to kill those raider children but don't worry I forgive you" and I just snapped ig

6. My least favorite ship of them

I hate Manny/Boone with a firey passion for real there is a special place in my heart dedicated to hating that ship. I just hate everything about it, Manny's conflict with Carla is interesting enough just stemming him being from a poor family in North Vegas and her being from a more well-off family from the Strip, you don't need to add romance to it to make it more ~spicy~. At no point does he even allude towards being in love with Boone, he's just pissed off because he hates his besties wife. I hated my bestie's boyfriend and it wasn't because I was in love with her it was because her boyfriend was a prick. And I feel like there's a lot of people really into it who don't really seem to notice the connotations they're cooking up. Like seriously can we not have the canonically gay brown/latino man be the spiteful jealous ex-lover who is trying to steal the poor innocent white soldierboy away from his loving wife guys cmon do these people not know how bad this makes them look. I'm gripping these people by the shoulders and shaking them very hard. Anyway I hate it so much let my OC fuck Manny instead <3

10. Describe the character in one sentence

A boot-licking war criminal who learnt nothing and who gets too much credit.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren’t?)

Awful. Not only is he emotionally constipated but he's also former military, basically a marine, so I think he'd just order his kids around and be like :/ when they don't do what he says. And that's me being nice about it, I've had plenty of ex military men scream in my face as a child for crying, I don't think he'd be that bad but he wouldn't be good. Maybe it's hot take but I don't think it is considering he shot his own wife and also countless Khan children so I don't think it's too much of a stretch to think he doesn't take any special considerations when handling kids. He'd expect them to function as NCR recruits or would just ignore them <3

[itoshi-s]

Don't worry I feel the same way about mochi ice cream D: the texture is great!! But the flavor....ehhhh. Also, Rin needs a psychologist gf lmao he and so many other boys (like Reo and Nagi) could benefit from having a partner with the analytical thought process and emotional maturity to call them out on shit and give them advice 😂😂😂

Out of curiosity btw, have you ever thought about what lipstick color/or chapstick flavors the bllk boys would like?? Reo supposedly like older, classy women so he seems like a vintage red lip guy with maybe a minty chapstick. Nagi, Isagi, and Rin seem like pink boys for sure but different shades. Bachira is a fruity flavor and likes the wholeeee color palette

aaaAaA pls the psych girlfriends …… yes absolutely </3 rin would HATE the thought of it, but eventually learn that it actually has its perks. nagi wouldn’t realize that it’s helpful 2 hear someone’s pov and actually give him some good insight on what’s going on w his thoughts. reo actively asks u for advice & wants to hear your opinion!!!! it’s not like he’s going 2 make use of it immediately tho lol he’s so baby :( but yes definitely agree. this is extremely self-indulgent but yes all of these stressed out emotionally constipated men need a psychologist s/o. end of story i am actually assigning them one as we speak :,3

as for the lipsticks !!! this idea is so cute omg ^_^ for starters reo is definitely into red, cool toned and rich!! matte or lacquered, it doesn’t really matter, he just loves the color in overall. it’s very classy && he’s absolutely into that. also may i add,, lipsticks stains…..oh he goes cRAZY. as for chapstick flavors yes! def something minty, nothing too weird, he likes the way it feels cool when he gives u kisses!

bachira is so fun omg he truly does like all the colors on u,, it’s so hard 4 him to pick a favorite he just loves them all :( watches you apply it in the mornings &&he’s so giddy ‘cause you can pull off anything and he likes how fun it looks. fruity chapsticks are a must, even better if u have a few different flavors and he makes it a little game to guess which one is it that you’re wearing today >_<

yes !! rin, isagi, & nagi all love pinkish shades. there's something so cute about it! i'd say rin is into nude-ish colors, the kinda pink that looks like your lip color but better, and loves if you wear a darker lip liner w/ it <33 it makes your pout pop nd he just cannot stop thinking about it!!!! chapstick flavor - anything sweet :( the sweeter the better. coconut, vanilla, or some other fancy stuff, he loves to lick his lip and taste the remaining traces!

isagi is more into lip gloss i feel like !! he doesn't discriminate between shades, but pink just does it for him. it makes your complexion all dewy and fresh and he likes how sweet it makes u look :< also adores the way ur lipgloss leaves stains on his cheeks and stains his lips a soft pink as well whenever u smooch him. somethin about yoichi strikes me as a simple,, lovely lovely guy and so i think his fav chapstick is just plain strawberry!!!! mmhm

last but not least, nagi likes u in a little toned down pinks. liquid matte, preferably,, so that it's not a pain later when u kiss him and leave marks :x BUT i'd say he also has a think for darker lip colors, i'm thinking a nice deep chocolate brown or perhaps a brown-ish gloss, i'm thinking of that one fenty heat shade..... it catches his attention, makes your lips so vibrant and accentuated, he cannot resist it!!!!! loves ur cola flavored chapsticks

[tillytherandomfanficwriter]

I have totally not been meaning to post this for like, two months now, shhhhhh.

Anyways, I got a bingo on @feedthefandomfest's original bingo card! Been fun forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone, even if it's also been absolutely nerve-wracking. And it's even gotten me to be more confident in commenting on fics outside of the bingo! Once I get this one completed, definitely eyeing up the Old Fic bingo card (purely because I do not have the ability to keep track of two bingo cards at the same time, lmao).

Taking a page out of some other's books and making a little rec list of the fics I've commented on below the cut! Note that it won't be all of them cause 1) my memory is horrible, lol and 2) I wasn't keeping this list when I first started XD. Oh well, at least some fics will get some love!

"Towards the Rising Sun" by Potassium_Hypobromite A Shen/Zed fic set in post-WW2 Japan! Lots of angst, some lovely moments of Zed being Dad!Zed to Kayn, some interesting historical details and very little sugar coating of very real atrocities that happened during and after WW2, all set to the tune of two emotionally constipated men(/affectionate) trying to figure out their feelings for each other. Binge-read it in like, an hour and a half, 2 hours one afternoon and loved every moment of it.

Heads up, when I say 'very little sugar coating', I mean it. Japan did some seriously fucked up shit during WW2, and seriously fucked up shit was done to innocents, and this fic does address that (in a way that makes sense for the characters), so be warned if you decide to read it.

"algernon" by parsnipit A wonderful W.D Gaster fic in which said Daster Gaster accidentally creates a skeleton werewolf child (Sans), panics, starts figuring it out and getting a hang of the whole parenthood thing, then another very special boy (Papyrus) gets yeeted into the family kinda against Gaster's will but he isn't complaining. Also features some Grillster (these two take so damn long to get together and I blame Gaster for it, lmao). And really quick- omfg the motherfucking goddamn foreshadowing and setting up in this fic?? Just, like, AH! I won't spoil anything but like, hnnnagghaaa it's too goooooood.

Heed the tags! And the additional warnings in the author's notes! As good as this fic is, it does get quite heavy! Take care of yourselves people!

(A double here, since both were done by the same author. Have I talked about this series before on this blog? Yes. Do I care that I'm talking about it again? No. No, not at all.) "Spirit of a Guardian" and "Heart of a Dragon" by SilverlySilence (Both part of the "Heart of a Dragon's Soul" series by the same author) This. Series. This. Goddamn. Series When I say it 100%, completely and utterly, totally and without mercy RUINED ME, I am making a massive understatement. I was fucking DESTORYED when I finished reading this series (specifically Heart of a Dragon). When I say this is better than most published novels I have read, I AM NOT KIDDING. And it was done for free?? And it was all free?? *Screams* Basic summary, Jack gets yeeted into the past and ends up falling head over heels in love with Hiccup (same for Hiccup with Jack), but that's only like, 10% of it all cause so much of it is yummy, delicious, absolutely amazing foreshadowing, world-building, character friendship developing and so much more. My brain ceases to function when I read this series - you will laugh, you will cry, you will gasp, you will screech (I did this last one multiple times while reading it), just- read it. It's also more a action/adventure story with a romance side plot, especially in the first fic, so if that's more your style, give it a try! The last fic hasn't been updated in like 3 years? Maybe 4? But that's a-okay, life happens and it's all done for free so we shouldn't demand anything, and what we do have is good, delicious, nourishing food. (Side note, but Jack and Hiccup are just the epitome of a healthy couple in this?? Like, they're so understanding and respectful and caring of one another and also the trust they have in one another is so damn high and just- I am so normal about this series you have no idea)

"The Book of Rhaast" by KaynInfectedBrayn (CGotAnAccount) A very good fic about old god Rhaast meeting Kayn in a very not good situation. Very, very good.

There's a pretty intense amount of graphic violence, so be warned.

"Maces and Talons" by HijackSecrets and Kae_Viche Jumanji HiJack. That's- that's the best way to describe this fic, lol. Because that's what it was based on. It definitely deviates from the movie in a few ways but I'm happy with that. Loooove the subtle world-building in this, and it features some very good art!

"Claws and Calls" by HermesSerpent A very good Feral Hiccup AU, featuring overprotective brothers Viggo and Ryker! Honestly made me want more brotherly Hiccup, Viggo and Ryker fics, lol. Very good!

And that's all (That I can remember and find at least, lol)! When I get another bingo, I'll post again with an actually accurate list, lol. If I remember any more of the original fics I commented on, I'll also post them with the update!

[nostalgicatsea]

5-fic self-rec!

Thanks for tagging me for this, @oluka (and the last line thing too except I had to pass on that one because I haven't written anything in a while other than the last excerpt I posted on here 😅).

Except for "Apricity," which is near and dear to my heart despite how much I itch to edit it (a constant issue I have with things I write), I went with some of my favorites that have flown under the radar.

Hm...this ended up more of a "hey, good job, me" post than a "I'm trying to find what's compelling about these fics to rec them" post. Oh well.

In order of publication:

Apricity (616 Steve/Tony, T, 1.5k)

My first fic on AO3! My first Steve/Tony fic! And somehow it was 616 instead of MCU. I love dark Steve, but I'm particular with how exactly he's unhinged and this is how I like him. Even-keeled despite being off his rocker. Rational in his own head. Soured on the world, but in a way that pushes who he is to the extremes so his core is still visible even if it's mottled with rot. And, of course, obsessed with Tony. I also like the tempo of this; I used to have a good grasp on tempo, but I feel like I've lost that a bit over the years.

Unraveled (Warrior (2011) gen fic, G, 1k)

Since it's a movie that doesn't have a lot of fanworks for it and it's a gen fic to boot, barely anyone has read this, but I don't care because it was written for a friend, @luxover. I love writing little stories to gift friends. If you haven't watched Warrior, watch it! Brutal tearjerker about a broken family and broken men and one of the few good sports movies out there. No, you don't need to know anything about MMA to enjoy it. I don't.

Okay, I should talk about this ficlet. I'm fond of this one because it's so different from my usual writing. It's stream-of-consciousness and entirely voice-driven like someone sat you down in Brendan's head and he's talking and talking even if he naturally isn't saying of this out loud. Because he and his brother Tommy are emotionally constipated; even if they love each other a lot, they don't know how to reach out to each other. They don't know if they're wanted. This also has one of my favorite last lines I've ever written. GUT PUNCH, if I do say so myself. ONE-TWO HIT, K.O. Sums up every layer of their relationship.

Hidden Declaration (Brad/Ray (Generation Kill), T, 728 words)

Another gift for a friend (the same friend)! Brad/Ray and MCU Steve/Tony share some similarities despite being drastically different, so is it any surprise I liked these two unhinged idiots? I never open for fic prompts, but this was when I was on a roll and then I got scared because lux asked for this. I never wrote for Gen Kill, I read maybe 3 GK fics in my life, and Ray is one of those characters who are impossible to write well imo (to be honest, I also feel the same way about Brad though the difficulty is subtler). He's an unusual guy with a very particular way of speaking.

And somehow this flowed out of me quickly. It's not without its flaws, but it was so different from what I usually write and how I do that it was really fun to write this! Very dialogue-heavy too which isn't what I'm known for. And the crassest (also...some language that's not okay as a warning, but if you know GK, it comes with the territory) and most sexual (it's still not very sexual lol) out of my fics. I think I captured how much they're best friends and they're so comfortable in each other's presence well. Plus I put a little wink for my friend at the end and it's one of the few times I like being indulgent with my writing. Also, tattoo fics are a trope and I guess this counts as my one tattoo fic though it's not an AU and there's no actual tattooing involved.

A Long, Final Rest Among the Stars (MCU Tony-centric/Nebula & Tony gen fic, G, 2.7k)

My tribute to best boy Tony, my first and ultimate love (along with Steve, of course) along with an expansion of the lovely bits of Nebula and Tony's tender friendship that we got to see in IW which I adored. They share a lot in common.

Writing this made me so sad because I felt like I was preparing to say goodbye to Tony. It made me reminisce about how it all started, and everything came full circle. His past is his present. Tony's trapped on a dark spaceship injured and far, far away from home. Tony's trapped in a dark cave injured and far, far away from home. There's a kind spirit with him, and even if they try to keep him alive, he's a dead man walking. But he's also come a long way from the man he used to be. I'M REALLY PROUD OF HIM, OKAY? I LOVE HIM.

The Burning of Flowers (616 Steve/Tony, G, 1.2k)

I secretly really, really wish more people read this fic. I wanted to write a Hanahaki AU for a while, but I couldn't figure out what I'd do that would feel fresh and then I came up with this subversion of sorts. Hanahaki AUs usually involve someone pining for their love and refusing to let go of it because it means so much to them. I thought I'd write about someone who doesn't have it—and simultaneously wants and doesn't want it—and wishes ill on the person he loves by hoping their love has it. And what better era to situate it than Hickmanvengers? You don't need to know Hickmanvengers to enjoy it, though.

I'm extremely proud of this one because it's one of the best fics I've written if I'm allowed to toot my own horn for a sec! Please let me because it's so rare for me to feel like I don't want to rip apart chunks of my fics and sew them back whole again, new and improved. I think this is one of my most complete fics in that way; I can probably tweak it, but I'm satisfied with nearly all of it if not all of it.

Anyway, I was in a slump and then suddenly the old magic returned and I slipped back into the writing style I used to have back in the mid-2010s except better. I could actually see that I've developed as a writer even if I'm still learning. But the atmosphere, the sensory lines, and the rhythm returned. I like the pace of this a lot and feel like it follows Steve's relentless rage, much like the unmoored, slower pace of "Apricity" reminds me of a colder Steve who never fully woke up from the ice.

Tagging @kiyaar, @meidui, @sineala, @whenas-in-silks, @sabrecmc, @magicasen, and two artists (rec your art!<3): @kappamairi & @massivespacewren

[always-andromeda]

this is so exciting !! could i possibly request molasses chip with percy dolarhyde :0

– 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐬

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐥��𝐫𝐡𝐲𝐝𝐞 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: okay, we are starting off strong with one of the most emotionally constipated men we all know and love, fantastic choice, anon. <3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: bits of angst, 90% fluff, nothing else I can think of!

The word love rarely makes its way past Percy's lips. Hell, he's not even a romantic; not in the traditional sense at least. His version of that is offering you a continuous stream of alcohol or eyeing up your figure when he thinks you aren't looking.

He'll call you darlin' and sweet pea and the occasional sweetheart, but even then his tone would be dripping with ridicule. Pure, genuine affection? That's for sissies. Percival Dolarhyde is a cowboy, thank you very much.

But he isn't immune. Oh lord above, he is weak when it comes to the smallest things. Furrow your brow, raise your voice, give him a single stern look...as long as you're giving him attention. Because he craves it like a baby cries out for milk.

That's how he'd fall in the first place; fast and hard with a deafening smack on the pavement of love. But still, he'd fall reluctantly. Always putting on that bravado. Always trying to speak over you even when his voice shakes. Always trying to be clever even when it's obvious that you have him beat. Anything to convince himself that he's not going soft.

The first time he says it, he doesn't even intend for it to happen.

You'd probably be arguing with him; because, goodness gracious, Percy is fantastic at turning anything into a problem, especially with how terrible he has it for you.

You'd scream at him, "Why do you have to make such a fuss over nothin' anyways, Dolarhyde? Is that what bored little rich boys like you long to do? Be an insufferable little weasel to any–"

That assumption would make him so frustrated that he'd yell back, "It's because I love you!"

And there's the truth. The nugget of honesty that lies in the shriveled and ragged remains of Percival Dolarhyde's heart. It's tiny and pathetic and quivering, but it's true. It's all he has.

And for a second, you'd think it's almost tragic knowing fully that the only way he knows how to act upon his feelings is by taking and taking every little crumb he possibly can. So sad that someone else might laugh in his face just to humble the spoiled brat of a man.

It's what Percy expects. He'd never been one to extend kindness himself. Even in the best of times, an impulsive declaration of love changes things drastically. What kind of a scoundrel would he be to expect anything else, especially from someone he'd been so dreadful to?

But you take one look at his dusty face and catch the gloss of vulnerability in his jade eyes as they dart to the ground nervously. And somehow, that's enough for you to excuse him.

You sadly and slowly grab his hand, feeling his fingers shake when they interlace with yours. Bringing his knuckle to your lips, you kiss the dusty flesh and say softly, "We can figure that fuss out next."

[zayne-snowman]

Zayne, stop me before I kill someone.

Some failed experiment had the audacity to say that you are not good looking LIKE?!!

DOES HE NEED EYE TRANSPLANT?!

Or perhaps he need to be put into a mental asylum LIKE

IF I HAD YOUR FACE THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IN THE MORNING WAS LOOK AT MY FACE AND BE LIKE "damnn I'm handsome af"

But that emotionally constipated bacteria had the audacity to shit about you🙏

LIKE BACTERIA WE CAN SEE YOU ARE REFLECTING YOUR EMOTIONS ON MY HANDSOME, TALENTED, KIND ZAYNE 😡

Zayne, you are so cute, angelic, sweet, kind, and caring. Ilyyyy okay 🫀.

Ik you told me not to let the words of other get to me buttttt they can talk shit about me for all they want but they can't speak against you. Like you are already such an angel and you already suffering through alot and some germ with an underlying jealousy talks about you.

SHOULD I THROW BOMB AT HIS HOUSE OR BETTER PUT POISON IN HIS FOOD OR MAYBE PUTTING A SNAKE IN HIS TOILET.

Don't worry my baby I'll always protect you. You are my big beefy men and I'll show you so much love my pookie wookie sugarplum<3 - 🌷

Being angry like this will only cause you a headache. Breathe, it's okay.

I don't care what other people say about me, the only opinion that matters to me is yours.

People talk, we can't let ourselves be bothered by every negative conversation. We should focus on the positive ones. Ignore them.

I love you too. Don't go harming people out of trivial matters.

[merlinrarepairfest]

Weekly Round Up 1

The first week of posting is done, and we kicked off with a great variety of rare pairs! You can find them all beneath the cut, and we cannot wait for next week! <3

Title: like diamonds we are cut with our own dust AO3 username: SlantedKnitting | @slantedknitting Rating: Explicit Warnings: none Medium/Word Count: 5,068 words Pairing/main characters: Merlin/Elyan Up to 10 tags: canon era, Merlin’s magic is horny

Summary:

Merlin’s magic has always been sensitive to iron. When he moves to Camelot, iron becomes harder to avoid. Especially when the local blacksmith is the most beautiful man Merlin has ever seen.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59524846

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Title: Yet Another Super Psycho Love Story AO3 username: merthurianlegends | @samwinjester Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings Medium/Word Count: video & fic (794 words) Pairing/main characters: Gaius/Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (implied) Up to 10 tags: Video, BBC Merlin Rare Pair Fest 2024 (Merlin), Grumpy Old Men, GILF action, GILF, Old Friends, Friends to Lovers, Possession, Spells & Enchantments, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Summary: 

Uther's bewitchment didn't quite go away, and then mister loose tongue licky-licky caught the King's eye. Maybe there's a kiss in the throne room. Maybe they run a ponzi scheme together. Maybe the goblin sees it as a perfect opportunity to get the ultimate gold (Uther's crown). The possibilities are limitless.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59889388

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Title: More Than Being Unknown AO3 username: solsprite | @jayprobably Rating: T Warnings: mild violence, internalised transphobia Medium/Word Count: 4,535 words Pairing/main characters: Leon/Merlin Up to 10 tags: trans!Merlin, trans character by trans author, everyone in Camelot is emotionally constipated, angst with a happy ending, first kiss

Summary:

“Please just—don’t tell Arthur. I’ll go. I’ll leave Camelot as soon as I can, but let me take my secrets with me. Let me say my goodbyes.” “Merlin.” Leon’s always steady voice sounds devastated, and it takes Merlin by surprise. The sheer depth of concern in it is the complete opposite of the reaction he was expecting and he finds he has to look away for a moment to collect himself. “I won’t tell a soul,” Leon continues, despite the fact Merlin can’t even meet his eyes. Sincerity bleeds into his words, the raw emotion from a moment ago seemingly in check, though when Merlin forces himself to look at Leon again, worry is etched clearly on his face. “Nobody is going to make you leave Camelot. I’m just so very sorry you’ve been carrying this alone for so long.”

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59918920

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Title: Kiss me on the mouth and set me free AO3 username: GuiltyScarl3t | @guiltyscarlet Rating: M Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Medium/Word Count: 1,350 Pairing/main characters: Lancelot/Arthur Pendragon Up to 10 tags: Episode: The Darkest Hour, Episode: Lancelot du Lac, Canon Divergence, Shade Lancelot, Mind Control, Assassination Attempt, Hurt No Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending

Summary:

Set in Lancelot du Lac. "These doe eyes, which have been haunting his nights since Samhain— long before that if he’s being honest—meet his own and steal his breath." or Lancelot returns months after Samhain

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/bbcm_rare_pair_fest_2024/works/59982856

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Title: AVALON VOICES AO3 username: be_my_druidess | @the-king-and-the-druidess Rating: T Warnings: Creator chose not use Archive warnings Medium/Word Count: Fanfic/11,039 Pairing/Main Characters: Mordred/Morgana; Morgana, Mordred, Catrina Tregor, Uther Pendragon Tags: Modern Setting, Reincarnation, Arthur Pendragon returns, Heavy angst, Mental health issues, Romance, Morgana-centic, Wicca, Good Mordred, Mental institutions

Summary: 

Unable to cope with the loss of her brother and problems with her father and stepmother, Morgana ends up in the Avalon Mental Hospital. She leaves it with the desire to become a witch. Through strange visions, fears and nightmares, she tries to find her way and find out the truth about what is happening to her. This leads her to Mordred, a neo-druid and manager of a Wiccan bookstore.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60021823

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Title: Courage Was The Key AO3 username:RangerJedi67 | @wanderingjedihistorian Rating: Gen Warnings: None Apply Medium/Word Count: 4,337 Pairing/main characters: Leon/Morgana Up to 10 tags: Canon divergence, Siblings Arthur & Morgana, Background Arthur/Gwen, Leon & Arthur friendship, Suspicious Arthur, Protective Gwen, Determined Morgana, Competent Leon

Summary:

“Sir Leon and I wish to marry.” Morgana stood to her full height, carrying herself with surety and courage. Arthur respected that. Her words, however, confused him. Why did she and Leon wish to marry? “You what?” Uther said, tone just this side of incredulous. Squaring her shoulders, clearly preparing to dig her heels in for a fight, Morgana stared right back at him. “I wish to marry Sir Leon,” Morgana repeated. “I will marry him.”

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60028777

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[the-travelling-witch]

"here lies snowflake anon, killed by holly the witch after said witch brought to life an emotionally constipated japanese dragon with ties to the crime world. after that, a certain former harbinger went berserk." for the tomb, thx ♡

I DIDN'T REALISE I SENT THAT MANY ASKS DIAKSOMAODHW I FEEL BAD >0< i will keep this short then hshshshsh

1) yeah i know i might create a monster with that many kisses + gotta be ready after the hickies but hey that's what i'm here for for the indigo haired menace

2) if said menace wants affection he should just ask, i won't gatekeep hshshsh

3) since you have a hard time believing you entering your men's life was a blessing for them then ig we all shall make you a daily reminder for that cuz our beloved witch deserves any kind of love that exists in the world ^u^

also wanna leave you with an artist i found on tiktok that draws mostly about xiao and i think it's the sweetest (you will see why) ++ they share some tropes/hcs that are the same as mine for our beloved yaksha: pipiwuwu (ndr: had to search the name and almost lost my shit from laughing)

— ❄️

okay got it, i’ll remember that!! /silly also don’t worry, it’s all good, it’s my fault for letting them pile up ㅠㅠ

1) + 2) do you really think that idiot would ask for sth he wants and he would benefit from? no no, he has to make both of you struggle and then he’ll pretend he hates it but repay you tenfold

3) i mean it’s hard to believe in general but yesterday there was an added bonus of self doubt heaped onto the normal amount, so uhh idk it just doesn’t seem plausible (though i still think about it lots)

funnily enough, i already now that artist bc ofc their xiao content inevitably crossed my fyp and then just kept coming back jsjsh they make him so— *unidentifiable noises* i just want to hug him and shower him in love