#we live rent-fucking-free in people's heads so like. after 10+ years you get used to it. SAD! but you do.

[meirimerens]

how do you stay out of drama on tumblr? it seems like everyone drags everyone into things, especially in the pathologic fanbase

don't know what kind of trench warfare you're living in the patho fandom but to me it's like Shockingly calm compared to the other fandoms i've been in. "especially in the pathologic fanbase" i frankly have no idea what you mean. like this might be a warzone to you but apparently i've been unconsciously dodging the draft for 7 years and through 4 different fandoms. i also realize i might have built an immunity to it. i don't know How i do it it just how it is. few reasons(?) i can think of are

been online since 10yo so i seen worse

i'm nonconfrontational and hermite-like in general. i don't associate with many people. i stay out of the spaces i think i'll find people i dislike and i do not seek their company, even if they seek mine. there are planny awff people i'd like to explode with my mind like a trout but like. i keep scrollin. i don't keep them around in my mind to poison it.

fits within ^ but like i'm just some guy. i'm not a very big account. i have few friends and acquaintances. i don't like to mingle. i just write my shit and draw my stuff and do my thang and move on.

not even a fandom-exclusive thing this is an Online thing wholly but like i been online for over 10 years so i've very much internalized the fact that like. I am (and you are) going to read some braindead takes by maladjusted people on the Braindead Takes From Maladjusted People Websites. so i've worked on having the self-restraint, the self-discipline, and in general the common sense of, when seeing a braindead take, to sit down, take a deep breath, tell self "well this is dumb as shit lol" and scroll down. in 5 scrolls i'll see the second braindead take of the day. that's how it is. this is a skill that you HAVE to work on if you're over 20, especially if you're over 25/nearing 30, and ESPECIALLY if the op of the braindead post/tweet that's getting you all fucked up is a kid. it is a Non-action that to not interact. it's so easy. you have to work on that skill or you're gonna look goofy silly.

^ more on that: it's a non-action to not respond to baity anons. it's a non-action to not put yourself in discussions with unhinged people. like just leave it. keep scrollin. don't feed the trolls. you can fully and truly dislike someone and wish to explode them in your mind like a trout and still keep scrollin. it's not a big thing at the end of the day

i'm just some guy and frankly idk how some of you put yourself in dramas but i have no interest in finding out. i've almost exclusively have had people Being On Good Behaviors around me and a) i will return the favor b) if anyone tries anything the floor will give out from under them. peace and love

tldr as a general online thing and not even fandom remember than you're going to see braindead takes on the Braindead Takes websites and learn to keep on scrollin.

this is not an invitation to make me privy to drama or to try to pull me in some. i will pull the rifle from my dodge-draftin home's wall if i have to snipe you out.

[ysabelmystic]

Top 10 things you got away with as a kid?

Thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to soapbox about the stupid and borderline psychopathic shit I did as a child. I don't know that this'll be a "Top" ten, but it will be the first ten things that come to mind.

Number 1: Attempted Murder (in self defense)

Some of y'all already know this story because it is in fact one of the most surreal things that's ever happened to me and it lives rent free in my head.

I spent my sophomore year of high school in Florida. My neighborhood didn't have blocks. We had ponds, and the houses were built around these ponds. The ponds were also full of alligators. This is important.

Every day after school, my friend and I would stand and talk at the bus stop before walking home to one of our houses. Because we both had overprotective parents, this and going to the park was about the only real freedom we had. So when a black car with a random guy sitting in it started parking across from the bus stop followed us if we started walking, we didn't tell anyone. Instead, we would just wait and talk until the guy got bored and bailed. This continued for about a month until one day, I had to make a to-scale model of St Basil's Cathedral for a school project. That thing was fuckin' heavy, so we were so focused on getting to my friend's place that we forgot that we were being stalked.

About ten minutes after we got to my friend's place, we were getting settled in, eating snacks and setting up the xbox, when his dogs went fucking ballistic. We looked out the window to see a strange man at the door and the black car parked in the driveway. He saw us and then walked around to the garage where we'd let ourselves in but hadn't locked it. So we ran to the garage and locked the side door just in time before they guy grabbed the knob and started trying to get in. When he couldn't, he went to the car entry and started beating at the metal door.

This would be the point when most people would call the police. But again, we had very overprotective parents. If we called the cops and they caught the guy, we'd never be let out of their sight again. If we called the cops and the guy got away, we'd get told off for being overdramatic and wasting the cops' time, and we'd still lose roaming privileges. Instead, over the course of about thirty seconds, we hatched a plan.

My friend’s dad kept his hunting gear in the garage. I knew how to use a bow and arrow at the time, and my friend knew how to swing a hatchet. We decided against using guns since neither of us felt like we could safely use them. Most people were at work, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear any screaming that was to ensue. The plan was to go outside and confront the man. If worst came to worst, we would simply yeet his body into the lake and let the gators take care of him.

We went back out the front door with our weapons and began loudly threatening the man. Not in a normal, “get off my property or I’ll shoot” way. We went into Joker Mode. We were 15, full of rage, severely sleep deprived, high on adrenaline, and in need of therapy. Plus, we thought that this would be the most effective way to scare him off. Luckily, it worked. We saw him rounding the corner of the house and chased him to his car. He sped off, and we never saw him again.

Number 2: Public Nuisance #1

Same year, same state, same friend. It was summer and we were bored as all get-out- bored enough to let my brother and his friend hang out with us. There was a Walgreens across the street from the neighborhood but it was kinda off on some side street so we were technically allowed to ride our bikes there. For whatever reason, on that day’s trip, we decided that this would be the day that we finally drank a Monster. And what the heck, what if we drank two Monsters. And when we got to the park with our bounty of caffeinated beverages, we thought, yknow, wouldn’t it be funny to see who could drink them the fastest. What could go wrong?

What went wrong was that you now had a small pack of children endowed with the energy of The Gods. And what else do you do with this energy but use the woods to play the most chaotic game of tag while playing LMFAO songs and occasionally scaring the shit out of unsuspecting trail walkers. Like yeah this was obnoxious and cringe, but none of us had ever had caffeine before and we now had consumed upwards of 400mg of the stuff. There were no brain cells. Only tachycardia and 2015 YouTube culture. We had become menaces.

This inevitably ended with all of us throwing up, and as the caffeine wore off, we decided to bike home. We started down the main path out of the woods, but at the clearing was a pair of cop cars and two officers walking into the woods. So we had to quickly hide in the bushes and sneak off-trail to the other side of the park. Why do I think they were for us? They were talking about a group of teenagers causing a “disturbance”. But we made it home without getting caught and played Minecraft for the rest of the day. We never did anything like that again, and every day I thank God that TikTok wasn’t a Thing yet.

Number 3: Public Nuisance #2

There were two things my middle school me despised about the girls’ locker room. 1) Everyone was constantly showing off their expensive bras and comparing cup sizes, and it rubbed me the wrong way (the “why” would be discovered later). 2) The perfume. Everyone makes fun of middle school boys and their Axe Body Spray, but the girls at this rich kid school had everything from Bath & Bodyworks to beauty boutique shit. It was beyond overwhelming. I was also deep in my “not like other girls” era and was full of unspecified rage. So, to cope, I started catching grasshoppers during PE. I wouldn’t just release them in the locker rooms. I would look for unlocked lockers or clothes that people had left out in the open, and hide the grasshoppers in their belongings. Just to inflict maximum chaos.

The PE teachers made a big show of looking for the prankster, but I was never caught.

Number 4: Destruction of Property #1

My fifth grade teacher, on God, is one of the shittiest people on this planet. He radiated Ted Bundy vibes. He was a total cunt. We all hated this bitch, and I was pretty much at war with him (he stole my books and destroyed one of my notebooks). This is the most monetary destruction that I caused in one go.

He had a water fountain on his desk, right behind his computer. For whatever reason, he had his computer cord wrapped around the fountain, so it wasn’t laying on the floor. It was basically a tripwire. Feeling silly, I tripped the wire. Fountain hit the floor and shattered. Papers went everywhere. The computer fell. My teacher had to dive into the puddle of water to save his laptop, but it must’ve still been damaged since he had to replace it a week later. And of course, he couldn’t do anything. I was very apologetic about it. It was an accident. I’d tripped. Everyone had seen me trip. It wasn’t the first time I’d tripped on something before. And it was only a matter of time before someone tripped on that cord anyways.

Number 5: Destruction of Property #2

The second worst teacher I’ve ever had was my 8th grade science teacher. He was also a total cunt, not for stealing my shit and destroying my work, but for making jokes about me cutting myself and encouraging the class to bully me. Yay! Just like my fifth grade teacher, he was a cunt with poor organization skills. He had a habit of not grading anyone’s papers until the end of the quarter. He would put each assignment in a stack and set the stack in an empty place on his desk. If he ran out of room, that stack would go on another stack, and so on and so forth. Basically, he had lots and lots of loose stacks of paper on his desk. I don’t remember why he was holding me after class, but I do remember that I was very displeased to be there. Instead of staying in my seat, I decided to take his chair. Y’know. To assert dominance. I fell back into the office chair and started spinning in it. I guess I must’ve hit it at just the right angle because something in the inner stand broke, and it sank to the lowest level. My arm hit a paper stack, which hit another paper stack, which hit another paper stack, and soon, there were papers all over the floor.

Dude didn’t even say anything. He turned red. Not wanting to stick around for the impending explosion, I just left lmao.

Number 6: Trespassing and Evasion

This is probably the most dramatic, disproportionate thing on this list. My first high school and middle school were connected, so overall, the campus was the size of a small college. It would take you at least 20 minutes to walk from one end to the other.

I was about to transfer schools, and to do this, I needed to deliver a folder of paperwork to the front office. Of course, my ADHD ass waited until the last possible day to deliver it. And I thought, “yeah I’ll just deliver this to the office during lunch”. The easiest way to do that was to go through the center doors of the main building and walk to the opposite side of the hall. 5 minute trip. Easy peasy.

Unfortunately, for some reason, someone decided to turn the student teachers into a security team. I got to the doors and was greeted with a very angry woman who was very much against the idea of me walking ten feet across the indoor hallway to the opposite side. I tried to explain my issue, but she wasn’t having it.

I didn’t want to deliver it after school since it meant I probably wouldn’t get a seat on the bus (seriously, it was packed enough that some people would have to sit on the floor, and to exit on the first couple stops, you had to climb out the window). I couldn’t very well walk around the outside of the building for two reasons. 1) This school ran like Mean Girls. The end of the building was popular kids territory, and God help you if you weren’t a popular kid in that area. I wasn’t just unpopular. I was poor. I was a wanted man. I had literal death threats over my head. And even if I made it past them, there was still a 50/50 chance of being caught by a rent-a-cop for being in the parking lot.

Luckily for me (and my friend who was with me for moral support), one of the upstairs side doors had a broken lock or something. It had caution tape all around it to deter people, but caution tape is easily surpassed and removable. Once inside, we just had to make it down the stairs and out to the office courtyard. Someone must’ve heard us though, because one of the student teachers started calling out, asking who’s there and all that jazz. He ran toward the main staircase. Other teachers showed up. We literally had to hide behind the decorative pillars while this became a fucking manhunt. It was like a scene out of a Nickelodeon program. When their backs were turned, we were able to sneak down another staircase and directly into the office. I delivered my papers, and all was well except we now had to make it back in while about 15 paranoid adults on a power trip were walking up and down the halls. Thankfully, my geography teacher’s room was nearby and he was chill so he let us stay in his classroom until lunch was over.

Number 7: Slander

In 4th grade, I framed a classmate as a “nose-picker” by saving water bottle label glue in my desk for 6 months and putting all the dirty goo-balls in his desk on desk cleanout day. All it took was one, “Ew! Look at Roger’s boogers!” and the rest is history.

He bullied my friend though, so he deserved it.

Number 8: Assault and Battery

In 9th grade, one of my classmates was excessively handsy and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Teachers wouldn’t do anything about him, so I took matters into my own hands, or rather, his hands. When he wasn’t paying attention, I slammed a pencil into his hand. It didn’t go all the way through, but it was standing on its own after I let go.

The crazy thing is that my teacher literally saw it and told the kid that he, “had it coming”, which is just another reason that that school was absolutely insane.

Number 9: Illegal Distillation

I once made wine in my backpack on accident. Old grapes met old crackers, and I ignored this until the bag they were in burst. I have no idea how no one stopped me.

Number 10: Theft and Framing (my mom’s contribution)

This is pretty benign, but my mom still brings it up.

My grandparents had a timeshare in Hawaii, and every now and then, they would allow us to go in their stead. One of 8-year-old me’s favorite things about this hotel was the birds, especially the geese. Because of the time difference between Hawaii and California, my brother and I also consistently woke up at 4 in the morning, so we had about 2 to 3 hours of “feed the birds” time before my parents woke up. Usually, we would use the rice Krispies, but we ran out. And the geese were still hungry. The wouldn’t eat the lucky charms, so that left my mom’s Very Expensive You-Can-Only-Buy-This-In-Hawaii-7-Dollars-in-2007-Money hemp and seed cereal. And birds like seeds, and in all fairness, I had no idea it was expensive, so logically we would give the birds this cereal. A whole box of this cereal.

So my mom wakes up to see her cereal lining the balcony and an empty box in the recycling bin. She went into Murder Mother Rage Mode, and like any self-preserving older sibling, I blamed my brother. I guess I was “old enough to know better”, so it worked. She brought it up every year or so as something terrible my brother did until a few years ago when I confessed to my crimes.

[artemesianerdmom]

Me in 40 years telling my grandchildren about the Force of Nature Tour:

It’s been a month and I’m still thinking about this concert.

Read more for the memories that continue to live rent free in my head.

Saturday October 5, 2024

The Bluestone

Columbus, OH

I previously wrote another post about the most memeable moment of the evening.

And yes, my husband and I are still memeing on it.

Shortly after we paid for parking, as I was trying to pull up the tickets on my phone, my husband said that he was fairly certain he’d seen Josh Ramsay go by on one of those electric rental scooters like a lot of big cities have at the end of the alley.

“At least I think it was Josh. I think he’s got a Mohawk,” my husband said.

“Oh, no that would be Mike. Mike’s the Mohawk guy,” I clarified.

I was skeptical that he’d actually seen one of the band members for about 10 seconds, thinking that he’d probably just seen some fan who also happened to have a Mohawk. But then I watched a guy who looked suspiciously like Matt Webb ride by on another scooter before Ian Casselman, who I recognized when he looked directly at us, brought up the rear. We later had a confirmed Mike Ayley sighting by the tour bus when we walked from the lot to get in the line for entry, but I personally didn’t see Josh until they took the stage.

There had been no lack of enthusiasm for either of their openers, but following an extended break for the crew to rearrange the stage and the lead-in song of AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck,” the whole audience absolutely exploded at the first sounds of the rain in the opening of “A Normal Life.” I don’t recall the order in which they appeared, but Josh was the last as he approached the microphone, which lit up neon blue with a little MT visible at its base when he took to it to belt out “IIIIIIIDDDDLLLEEEE HANDS THAT LONG TO SPILLLLLL—“

My husband and I were lucky to get a good spot on the balcony after discovering once we got out of the merch line that the entire bottom floor was jam-packed. The balcony, too, was almost at capacity. There must have been at least a couple hundred people stuffed into the former sanctuary.

Josh marveled at how they managed to cram so many people into the venue, observing with a chuckle that we looked “cozy.”

“Cozy” was the mild way of putting it. At the next break he remarked that it was “hot as fuck” on stage and couldn’t imagine what it must have been like in the audience.

With that being said, it came as all that much more of a surprise when, during “Haven’t Had Enough,” Josh climbed down off the stage and wound his way through the crowd on the main floor.

Before proceeding to dedicate the band’s performance of “Cross My Heart/Celebrity Status” to all of the fans who’d been with them since Masterpiece Theatre, Josh asked for a show of hands for how many there were in the audience. We weren’t close to the stage, but I watched his face light up at the sight of all the people who raised their hands and cheered.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asked with an indignant huff. But then he laughed, “just kidding, I know it took us long enough to get here.”

At one point the rest of the band left the stage, leaving Josh there picking out tunes on his guitar. He admitted that they were trying to figure out what song to do next before he asked the audience, “do you want to sing with me?”

I didn’t go in expecting it to be live karaoke, but that’s kind of how I would describe my experience. I’m not complaining in any way, though; the energy in that room was absolutely electric the entire time, and singing the duet part of “Good to You” back to Josh was nothing short of magical.

There was a woman somewhere on the main level who yelled “I love you Josh Ramsay!” after that song. Not missing a beat, Josh looked up and said, with a laugh, “well thank you, voice in the darkness!”

As I memed in the beginning, hearing “Haven” performed live was genuinely the closest thing I’ve ever had to a religious experience. I can’t estimate how many times I’ve listened to the entire album, but I was almost in tears by the end. Part of it may have been that I knew the show would soon come to a close, but most of it, I think, was feeling all the emotions in the room. I could sense all the love that every person in the audience had for the band—my favorite band, who no one I’ve ever talked to knew about before I introduced them—and that made me so happy. Not just to be there, but also for the guys in MT and everyone else who made the show possible.

I left the Bluestone that night sweaty and winded from singing along with every song, but also with an unfaltering smile plastered across my face. I don’t know how I got to sleep after all that excitement, and a month later I’m still thinking about it.

[silv3reyedstranger]

20 Questions

thank you @appropriatelystupid for tagging me! i just finished my french exam this morning so doing this is an awesome way to spend my afternoon🥳

How many works do you have on AO3?

i was not aware that i had seven written and posted?? that's wild :0

2. What's you total AO3 count?

31,822 words?? also a massive surprise since i don't write or post nearly as often as i'd like...but hey, i'll take the win!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

okay, so obviously supercorp lives rent free in my head, but i'm also deeply entrenched in the cissamione and bellamione fandoms. i've got a fuck ton of wips for them, but i haven't put much out yet. however, recently, rojarias (reignjas) has been taking up ALL my brain space—i'm dying to write a lawyer au.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

erm. well, since i only have seven, i'll give you the top two? 1st: i'm home when i'm with you...2nd: this color looks better on you than me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to be really into and really good about responding to comments because i really appreciate every single one (and i still do) but it took a lot out of me and made me a little anxious, so i don't do it anymore. that being said, i still love and cherish every single comment that's ever been left!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm really not the biggest fan of angsty endings, so i don't write them very much. i'd much prefer piling on the angst throughout and giving them a happy ending. there's too much sadness and grief in the world already, i feel like everyone should get a happy ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oo, okay, i'm not sure about happiest since they feel pretty even, but if i really had to pick maybe oh how love stings?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't currently, which i think is in part because of how lovely most people in the fandoms i'm in now are, but years ago i wrote a dramione fic and people had a lot (which wasn't necessarily hate, but it was still unnecessary) to say about that.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i've tried on occasion, but let's just say i'm still working out the kinks (pun intended)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i don't and i don't think i will anytime in the near future because i feel like a lot of planning will have to go into that and i don't have the brain space right now. but secondly, i don't feel an immediate urge to merge any two worlds currently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

luckily, no, not that i'm aware of—hopefully it stays that way!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had someone ask in my comments before, but as mentioned above i don't really answer comments and i'm still not sure if i'm entirely comfortable with translations even if it allows a larger audience access to the fic.

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i was working on one with @glitterslytherin a few years back, but we never quite got much of it finished haha

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

it's gotta be supercorp, but currently, rojarias and cissamione have me in a chokehold (i suppose i'm on my supercorp detox atm? maybe i'll be able to churn out fics after this little break)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i think this applies to all my WIPs to be honest. obviously i want to finish them all, but motivation is a bitch and she tends to come and go as she pleases XD

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'd like to think i do a pretty good job with dialogue. i used to be better at descriptions, but i think the balance has tilted the last couple of years.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

being able to just write and not edit on the way (another reason i rarely finish things) also planning is very much not my forte💀

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

while i am bilingual and almost trilingual, i do tend to stick with english since i feel like it's jarring to have a bit of a different language suddenly pop up and then the reader has to read the translation. and two, i'm not even grammatically accurate in english all the time, so forget about another language!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh, this is so mortifying...i believe it was percy jackson, but following closely behind was harry potter.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

i don't think i love any of the fics i have out at the moment—like, don't get me wrong, i'm super proud of them—but there's not one finished one that parades in my head all the time. the rojarias lawyer au and a supercorp orchestra au are constantly being thought about though?

tagging a couple of mutuals if ya'll wanna take part!

@theredcapeofk @yanana94 @belladonnainbloom @coffeeshib @naralanis @an-organism

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[finleyfray]

Damnation

TW: dying, language

Finley sighs as she crashes down on her bed. It was late in the afternoon and she had a half hour break before she needed to go to work. She is tired after the whole day of classes. Lately she was so busy she didn’t even see her girlfriends for two weeks. Fin was living alone, so she had to work hard to be able to pay for her rent and food. Besides this, she was also in her last year at university. 

Those two activities took all of her time and while she tried so hard to make it work, she knew Alex and Maggie were very irritated with her lack of time to meet them and do something together. She promised them she’s gonna have a day off soon, but this was a month ago, and Finley really couldn’t afford a day off. Her rent price went higher last month and now she has to work extra hours to be able to pay for it.

Finley hides her head in her hands. She really misses her girlfriends. It’s only been 10 months that they’re dating, and they haven't even told each other “I love you" yet, but Fin realised that a while back. She loves them and she really wants to spend the rest of her life with them. 

Her phone rings and Finley picks it up. 

“Hey" Fin smiles as she hears Alex’s voice. “Can we come over for a second? We want to tell you something.” She frowns at Alex’s cold voice.

“Hi babe. I would love to but I have to go to work in half an hour.”

“That’s nothing new. Okay, we tried to talk with you, to maybe try and find another way. But I'm done with constant excuses. I’m putting you on speaker."

“What’s wrong?” Finley’s heart beats fast as she tries to suppress anxiety inside her. This doesn’t sound like the Alex she knows. 

“We talked a lot.” She hears Maggie's voice. “And we are really tired. You never have time for us, and it looks like there’s only me and Alex. So we might as well just be like that.”

“What do you mean?” Fin asks with a trembling voice. 

“We are breaking up with you.” 

“What?” She gasps. 

“Yeah. Sorry. We can’t go on like that. You never have time.”

“No, wait, don’t do that, I’ll make time, just give me one more chance, please...” Finley panickes. This can't be happening. After everything, they just decide she wasn't worth it… The woman feels anger inside her. Mixed with pain and sadness, but mostly anger. She hangs up and throws her phone against the wall. Her phone crashes and lands on the floor. Screw that. 

The black-haired woman stands up and goes to the elevator. She still needs to pay for her bills even when she was just dumped. She pushes the button to go down, but she never arrives at work. 

***

Finley opens her eyes and looks around her. She was in a dark room with chains around her wrists and ankles. Last thing she remembers was going into the elevator and then she felt a sharp pain in her head and she was out cold.

The blue-eyed woman has no idea why she was kidnapped. She wasn't any special, she was just working in a restaurant and in the shop and she went to the school. Work… she didn't arrive. Pretty sure they'll just fire her. 

She hears footsteps and tries to locate the people that were approaching. Even in this weird situation, Finley wasn't scared. Safe to say, she didn't even care.

"Good to see you awake. My goons might've hit your head a bit too much." She watches as the older woman enters the room, together with two men. 

"And who are you exactly? And why am I even here?" Fin looks at her confused.

"Lillian Luthor, and you're here to give me kryptonite." The woman spoke and Finley laughed. 

"Give you what? I don't even know what that is, I'm just a student, can't give you anything." 

"You can't, but your girlfriend can. See, I watched you for a while, and looks like you're the one I had to get to make Agent Danvers give me kryptonite from DEO. So now I'll call them, tell them we can exchange, they bring me kryptonite, you walk free." The woman circled her with a phone in her hand.

"Which girlfriend, what do you mean DEO? Also I hate to break it to you but that won't work. They broke up with me, I don't mean anything to them and I'm pretty sure they won't trade anything for me." The black-haired woman huffs and Lillian smiles. She taps on her phone and Finley screams with pain as electricity rushes through her.

***

Alex sighs as she looks at Maggie. She tries her best to not give away her sadness. Her girlfriend looks at her and gently cups her cheek. 

"Talk to me." 

"We shouldn't have. I don't want to lose her. This was a stupid idea. We got so mad when she said she doesn't have time… We shouldn't break up with her. We have to try and fix it." The redhead looks at the floor, her eyes wet and Maggie sighs. 

"You're right. Come on, she should be home already. We try once more, but Alex, if it doesn't work… I'm tired of having a girlfriend I don't actually have." 

"I know Maggs, but… I love her… Yea, it was hard the last few months… And we didn't even go that far in this relationship. But can you remember the time before it went to shit? Her smile that lights up the whole room? The way she checks on you after she knows you had a rough day at NCPD? The way she always knows what to say to make us laugh and feel better? The way she looks at us like we're the most important people in her life? How she says she's proud of us for doing all we can to protect this city. Even though she doesn't know I work for the DEO but thinks I work for the FBI. Maggie, I'm not ready to give her up and I know you aren't either."

"You're right." The raven-haired woman whispers and gently wipes away her girlfriend's tears at the same time blinking her eyes to get rid of her own tears. "We have to figure it out. We can't lose her. While we were a couple, don't get me wrong, I love you, but there was always something missing. And when we met Finley… It felt whole again. We stopped arguing that much. She's like a glue that holds us together. We have a lot to work on but I really think we have to try." 

"Let's get our girl back." 

They both rushed to Finley's apartament and knocked. 

"Finley, please open the door, we want to talk." Alex knocks on the door but she's met with silence. They wait a bit and knock a few more times but there's no response. 

"Use the spare key?" Maggie proposes and the redhead nods, taking out the key Fin gave them a while ago in case something happens. The agent opens the door and calls out. They go to the small room and look around.

"Finley's not here." Alex sighs and watches as Maggie goes to the wall and picks up a broken phone. "I think she was angry. Maybe she's still at work?"

They check the work but the manager tells them Finley never arrived to work. After hearing that, they begin to panic. It was not like her to miss her work. Alex takes them to the DEO and they ask Winn to look for any monitors around her living and work place. It doesn't help that Finley lives in one of the worst places in the whole city, they don't have any monitoring system. Alex calls her sister and Kara arrives in a minute. They're about to send her to patrol when Winn yells.

"We have an incoming transmission. Agent Danvers, you want me to put it through?"

"Yes. Put it through and track it immediately."

"...up with me, I don't mean anything to them and I'm pretty sure they won't trade anything for me." Alex gasps as she hears Finley's voice. Maggie goes to her and she clenches her fist.

"Luthor." She growls. She watches as Lillian pushes a button on her phone and their girlfriend screams in pain. "Let her go!"

"Looks like the transmission is one sided. They can't hear us. We can only see them." 

 --

Finley gasps as she finally breathes. Every muscle in her body hurts. 

"Fucking hell! I told you they won't give you anything, you stupid bitch!" 

"Oh my dear, of course they will." Fin tried to look at the woman but another rush of pain went through her. "They will give me the Kryptonite once they realise they can't track us." 

"Just fucking shoot me already! I told you, they don't care, just get it over with." 

"I can shoot her ma'am." She heard one of the men saying enthusiastically. 

"Stand down Barnes, this is not the plan." Lillian said and Fin smiled, she forced herself to look up at the man.

"Yea, stand down. Good dog. Bet you don't even know how to fucking shoot, don't ya Barnes? Woof woof." Finley laughs trying to make the man angry. He doesn't look too smart, if he loses control, he'll shoot her. "Good obedient fucking dog." 

"Barnes no!" Lillian tries to stop him but it's too late, he fires 3 times and Finley stops moving.

--

"Fucking hell! I told you they won't give you anything, you stupid bitch!" 

Alex curses and looks at the screen. 

"What the hell is she doing!? She should stay quiet, not enrage Lillian more!?" Her girlfriend screams.

"Oh my dear, of course they will." The redhead winces as she hears their girlfriends screams. "They will give me the Kryptonite once they realise they can't track us." 

The agent looks at Winn but he sadly shakes his head. 

"I have nothing yet." He gets back to typing on his computer. 

"Just fucking shoot me already! I told you, they don't care, just get it over with." 

"No, no, Finley, no! Please, no, we do care, don't provoke them." Maggie sobs as she grabs the desk tightly.

"I can shoot her ma'am." 

"Stand down Barnes, this is not the plan." 

They look at the screen and Alex sees Finley reise her head. 

"No! Don't do it, Fin!" She feels it. She feels it with everything that her girlfriend is about to do something stupid.

"Yea, stand down. Good dog. Bet you don't even know how to fucking shoot, don't ya Barnes? Woof woof. Good obedient fucking dog." 

"Barnes no!" 

They hear Lillian scream and then 3 gunshots. They all hold their breath and look as Finley stops breathing. 

"You stupid fool!" It's all they hear and transmission stops. Alex feels herself falling to the ground and Maggie tries to hold her.

"Finley!" The redhead sobs as her girlfriend hugs her tightly, sobs escaping both of them. She can't believe it. It's all their fault. They made her believe they don't care and she felt like she didn't have anything to fight for. It was their fault.

Two days later they held a small funeral for their girlfriend. They couldn't find the body so the casket remained empty. Lena apologizes to them a hundred times. They know it's not her fault, but they still can't believe what happened. It was their fault and the only reason Finley is dead is because of their stupid idea. 

***

Finley gasps as she shoots up to the sitting position. She looks around, she's still in the same room, but there's no one here anymore. This dying was really exhausting. The black-haired woman thought that after dying so many times, she'll be used to it. She doesn't even know where she is. At least Lillian was "kind" enough to let her free from chains. 

Fin looks at her watch to see the date. Four days passed since the day their girlfriends broke up with her. She sighs and finds her way out. Looking at her shirt stained with blood she doesn't have any other option than to ask someone where she is. 

After 4 hours of travelling, Finley finds herself by the door of her apartment. The door isn't locked, but she remembers locking it. She opens the door and in two seconds she's pinned by the door by Kara. Who knew the little blonde had this much power.

"Who are you!?" She growls and Fin sees her girlfriends, ex-girlfriends coming behind her. Their faces pale as if they've seen a ghost. 

"Let me go, what the hell! You can't attack me inside my own house like that!" 

"This isn't your house, this is Fin's house. And she died. So who are you and why are you looking like her!?" She hears Alex growling. "Let's take this impostor to the DEO for interrogation."

Before she had any chance to say anything, Kara flew her to some kind of underground base and tossed her inside a cell. 

"For fucks sake, I am Finley! Let me go, Kara!" 

One thing was Kara, that she could fly and had so much power. Another thing was them locking her up in a cell. She looks at the blonde seeing tears in the corner of her eyes and she turns around and flies out of the room. 

Few minutes later her two ex-girlfriends and Supergirl enter the room. 

"Of course, you're Supergirl. It makes more sense now. And you're what?" She looks at Alex in the same outfit she wears normally to her work. 

"Agent Danvers, Department of Extranormal Operations and this is Detective Sawyer, NCPD."

"Well obviously, I know who you are, I am not stupid. We used to date, remember? Like you broke up with me 4 days ago. I might have trouble with my memory, but I am not an idiot!" 

"Who are you!?" Maggie asks, she looks as if she was on the edge.

"I am Finley. Like you can see it. Like obviously, I'm Fin!" 

"You died!"

"How do you know I died? You weren't there?"

"We saw you dying! You were shot three times!" Alex yelled.

"Yes, see, I know." Fin points at her shirt.

"Then who are you? You're a white Martian?"

"Uhhh, what? No, I am Finley! I am immortal, I can't die!"

"We saw you dying…." 

"Sure, I die but then I wake up after my wounds heal and I'm alive again!" Finley screams irritated.

"This is bullshit! Supergirl, did you get J'onn on the phone?" The redhead asks Kara.

"Yea, he's already flying here. He'll be here any minute and then we'll know who's hiding inside Finley's body." The blonde looks at her sister. "Let's get out of here." They go out and Finley sighs. Nothing else she can do then to wait for that J'onn guy.

--

After J'onn, who Fin found out is director of DEO, read her mind and confirmed that she indeed is herself, she was let out of the cell. Two pairs of arms circled her.

"We thought you were dead…" Alex sobbed. 

Fin closes her eyes and mutters.

"I didn't know that. I thought you didn't care anymore."

"Of course we care!" Maggie huffes while wiping away her tears. "We went to your house to apologise and talk it out but you weren't there… We asked Winn to look for any street footage but there was nothing. And then Lillian transmission… We watched you die!" The raven-haired woman sobs. "We're so sorry Finnie… We got mad at you, but we shouldn't break up… And then we watched you die… We can't lose you."

Finely looks at them while wiping away her own tears. She closes her eyes. 

We're they honest? She sees them now, crying, apologising. But once everything goes back to normal… Will they still stay, or will they run away yet again.

"I understand you're sorry. I am too. I wasn't avoiding you, I was so busy, trying to maintain work and uni. But will you still stay while I will be busy yet again?"

"Finley… you're dead… officially… We pronounced you dead. You can't go back to your old life."

"What!?" Finley screams as she steps back and looks at them. "Why!?"

"Well, you died! How were we supposed to know you're not really dead?" Alex looks at her as if she told her the time.

"I died 75 times and never once did I lose my identity! What do I do now!?" 

"Seventy-five times!?" Her girlfriends look at her in shock.

"Yea, my dad used to kill me for fun. It doesn’t matter now! Who am I now. What do I do now?" 

"We can get you a new identity." The director enters the room.

"I would have to search for work again! Go through 2 years of university again! I don't have the energy to do it again." Fin sobs and looks at the ground.

"I can offer you a job here at the DEO. Your abilities would be very useful and you would train with agent Danvers. If you want, of course." The man nods. "I'll let you think and talk about it. Let me know what you decide."

Finley thought about it. It wasn't a bad offer. Sure, she wasn't ever planning on working for a secret government agency, but is really someone planning that?

She looks at her girlfriends… Ex girlfriends…? Girlfriends? But they look at her too, waiting for her decision.

"Well…"

[sapnxps]

(WTL) Chapter One: Greg the Neighbor- Georgenotfound x Reader

If I knew that when I moved to London, I'd have two weird neighbors, I'd laugh in your face. Now I'm friends with an old cat lady. Now I'm enemies with my cute neighbor that's definitely not single, who also screams too much.

Even though he's a dick, why can't I stop thinking about him?

My parents told me I’d regret moving to London from the state before I left because I’d miss them and the US too much.

They were half right.

I’m sitting on a box messily labeled ‘kitchen’ in the hallway of my new apartment complex. I huff, wiping the sticky sweat from my forehead. The moving bill is almost 4 thousand dollars. If I knew moving would be this expensive, I wouldn’t have moved out from my parent’s house until I was 40. Sure, I moved a lot of my belongings across the Atlantic ocean, but 4 thousand dollars? Who do I look like, Jeff Bezos?

Today has been hectic, to say the least. Three of my boxes somehow drifted away to Spain. Don’t ask me how that happened, I don’t even know. I’ve been unpacking by myself all day. A box of my kitchenware got shattered upon arrival. I should’ve listened to my Mom on that one, she told me to just buy plates and glasses here instead of shipping them here. Big mistake I’m never making again. Finally, the biggest chunk of my problems: My apartment is full of boxes and I don’t feel like unpacking. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been sleeping on an air mattress for two days, maybe not, but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. If one more thing goes wrong, I think I might lose it.

Begrudgingly, I lift myself up from the box I was sitting on. It’s a bit dented now, but the way it felt on my ass, it’s just pots and pans. I open the door, pulling this box into my apartment. I weakly push it into the kitchen. It collides with one of the boxes filled with shattered plates. The sound of the broken glass sliding across the box sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I need to make a note to properly dispose of that. Turning my head to look around my new home, I feel my brain's short circuit. All these boxes unpacked, I’ve barely made a dent. This is going to take for-fucking-ever. Moving is modern-day torture. Oh, that’s funny. Remember to tweet that later.

The next three hours of my life are taken up by filling up my kitchen cabinets and drawers with cutlery and various kitchen utensils. The counter was now less bare, housing my toaster and breadbox. My Tupperware containers sat in a special place in the far-right cabinet by the sink. It looked like this home was lived in, as long as you didn’t glance anywhere else besides the kitchen.

I soon after tackled the bathroom, which was the less intimidating room compared to the living room and bedroom. I got the shower curtain hung up, which made it look nice. The rug found its way to the floor, protecting my feet from the cold, cream tile. The shelves were now stocked with a few fluffy peach towels and soaps. Underneath the sink had cleaning supplies as well as spare toilet paper. Living alone meant having nobody to give you another roll if you finish the other one. Kinda sucks. I had a boyfriend during high school, and two years into college. I dreamed of living with him, we planned it all out. I’d finish college, we’d move to a city and rent out the tiniest apartment we could find. We’d live it out until eventually we made ends meet and the rest would be. Dreams cut short though, he cheated. It’s part of why I left in the first place. Needed a change of scenery, new people.

That’s where I am now. New people. Stuck on that part. Haven’t gotten a chance to meet any, which is oh so tragic. I can’t decide if I want to introduce myself to the neighbors or let them come to me? I’m stuck pondering on the thought until I hear a knock at the door. I wonder if my lost boxes have mysteriously arrived.

Opening the door, I’m greeted with an older woman, holding out a small cake into my space.

“Hi dear, I’m your neighbor to the right. Heard all the commotion, saw all the boxes. I had to see for myself the fresh meat in the complex,” She paused before lightly tapping my arm with her free hand. “Just teasing! It’s great to have another lady on this level. The young man to your left, handsome fella, never comes out much though. Hopefully, we can have a girl posse or something,” Her posh accent made her much different than me. Is it wrong to already feel isolated?

I grin at her, moving out of the way to invite her in. “Nice to meet you, feel free to come in. I apologize for all the boxes scattered around, moving has been proven to not be quite my talent,”

The woman smiles brightly at me, shock plastered on her face. “You’re American!”

“That I am,” I chuckle. She hands me the cake, which I gladly accept. My diet has consisted of soggy hash browns from the complex lobby. She makes her way to what is settled in the living room, politely setting herself on my suede blue couch across from the large wall in the room. I place the cake on my counter by the stove, making a mental note to grab a slice once the woman leaves.

The shock never leaves her aged face, “Oh goodness! How amazing. I have a foreigner as my neighbor. You’ll find London quite lovely. I know how it feels to be isolated and removed from what you’re used to, but I promise you’ll fit right in,” She says as I settle myself on the loveseat a bit away from the couch.

“Where are you from?” I ask. She obviously isn’t American.

She smiles, “Just a bit east of Surrey. South of London. Beautiful area, grew up on a small cottage,” The woman was glowing as she spoke of her hometown. She was obviously proud of where she grew up. Compared to my southern Arizona town, this place seemed like heaven. A cottage? Sign me up.

“Sounds lovely,” I speak truthfully.

“Welp,” The woman slaps her laps, a way of signaling it’s time to end the conversation. Despite only speaking for a small amount of time, she seems like someone I can come to if I ever have questions about London or the terminology that I hear around the city. I’ll need to remember that she’s the neighbor to the right. As she began to see herself out, I remembered the other neighbor she mentioned. The young man to the left. I believe she used the term ‘handsome fella’ to describe him. Once she was out in the hall, I felt the need to find out more information.

“Oh!” I shout, hanging myself out into the hallway. She pauses her steps, turning back to me. “By the way, who’s my other neighbor? The guy you were telling me about. Does he have a name?” I ask.

“Greg,” She nods, resuming her short walk back to her apartment.

Greg. Ugly name.

I completely forgot about the conversation by dinner time. As I was munching down on my cake, delicious by the way, I heard loud yelling from my right side. I wouldn’t even call it yelling, more like high-pitched screaming. Who was my neighbor over there again? Greg? Greg. He was causing a ruckus and a mere heart attack at that. He was screaming so loud I nearly jumped out of my skin the first time I heard it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s facing a very, very gruesome murder right now. Well, I guess I don’t know any better. I’m just wishing for the very best.

Another hour passes. The yelling never stops. It’s only 8, but my body is as awake as ever. I still have yet to get used to the new time zone. At times it was difficult, but I’m using it to my advantage now. I have some extra time to unpack and get my actual bed ready. My bed frame was put together professionally during lunch, so that was one thing checked off my list. The mattress I ordered was delivered yesterday. Now it was just the matter of putting the sheets on and preparing my duvet.

Fitted sheets fucking suck to put on a bed. I was currently struggling to put it on my nice mattress. It was edging close to 10 pm. The sky was dark, and I was stuck in some odd mixture of a starfish and the downward dog position. If this moment was a picture, it could be used for blackmail. The closer I got to finally getting the top right corner on my bed, the more stretched out I became. I was like one of those sticky hands you’d get in those toy dispensers at the grocery store. I was just about to get it, when another loud shriek could be heard. In shock, I slammed my head on the bed frame and lost grip of all four corners of the sheet.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I mumbled underneath my breath.

Whatever. He probably has a greater reason to be screaming like this, right? Justified shouting, whatever you want to call it. My bedroom is closer to his apartment than the kitchen was. Is it nosey to try to figure out what he’s saying? I don’t want to be that type of neighbor. I’ll continue minding my business because I don’t want to find out some weird shit about Greg that I don’t want to know.

The screaming never stopped.

In fact, if anything, it got louder. And louder. And louder. Is it okay to call the cops here?

It’s midnight now. The next fucking day. And Greg is still screaming at the top of his lungs as if everyone else isn’t asleep. If I saw some normal citizen just trying to get some rest, I’d be fed up. Well, I’m still fed up. I’m also running on a messed-up sleep schedule, so it’s not like I was trying to sleep anyways. My bed is made now, and comfy as hell. I built a shelf to house some of my small decorations, with the entertainment of my noisy neighbor’s yells to accompany me. For some odd reason, it made me feel less lonely.

At about 2, I began to reject the company. I felt irritation grow in my chest as I heard the same high-pitched shrieks that I heard at 8. The annoyance that bubbled in me overtook my politeness. Before I knew it, I was up and in the hallway banging on his door. I didn’t have the time to care about my Daffy Duck pajamas sticking to my legs due to the heatwave hitting England right now. Before I even realize it, my fist is slamming on his door. I never knew I had the power to knock that hard, but my anger and blossoming resentment overpowered me. I continued banging until the door pulled away from its frame. Now I’m face to face with Greg.

Boy was he handsome.

I was met with a man, about 5 foot 9. His dark brown hair was disheveled. Strands of hair laid across his forehead messily. If he wasn’t screaming, I would’ve thought he was sleeping. He was wearing a fluorescent green hoodie with an odd smile plastered on the front. It was a bit large for his skinny frame, that’s unimportant though. His grey sweatpants were twisted on his legs. What the fuck was he doing? His face was delicately shaped. This jawline looks sharp yet fragile like it was constructed of the most fragile rose crystal I’d ever seen. His brown eyes reminded me of caramel, thick and way too easy to get lost in.

“Hi, uh Greg-” I start. I’m just realizing now how close I am to him. The scent of his spearmint gum floods my nostrils. It’s a bit powerful, crinkling my nose at the smell. It wasn’t gross, just very shocking.

“George,” He spat. That’s fucking embarrassing. I’m meeting him for the first time and I got his name wrong. I’m not taken aback for long though, because his attitude oozing from his simple correction was enough to disgust me. I’ve done nothing wrong to him, except maybe get his name wrong. Was my moving too much of a nuisance to him? Poor little British thing, he can deal with it.

I cringe, “Oh, um, sorry.”

He leans into the door frame, sweatshirt adjusting to the movement. Forget a tiny bit large, he was swimming in this thing. “Yeah, no problem. Can I help you or are you selling girl scout cookies at,” George checks his watch. “2 in the morning. If you are, I’m not interested, sorry ‘bout that,” His outfit makes me feel a lot less aware of mine. Despite his face being rather attractive, the outfit makes him look like he just rolled out of bed.

“Oh, yeah. I was wondering if you could lower the volume a bit, please. Or just stop screaming entirely, if possible. I don’t know if you have some weird shouting fetish, but I certainly don’t,” I chuckle. George, however, doesn’t chuckle. Actually, he looks rather unamused. If a human was an art museum, it would be George. Curling into a ball and falling into an endless void doesn’t sound too awful right now. I think I’ll add that to my itinerary. I’ll do it in my bed so I’m at least comfortable while I’m drowning in my own self-pity.

He grimaces, “Yeah. Sure.”

He’s blunt. Got it.

The second I turn my back to the door, it slams. Wow. What a cunt. Shaking the interaction off, I begin to feel the wear and tear of the day beginning to hit me. Moving all those boxes made my muscles ache. The solution to all my problems today seems to be going to bed. Not that I’m not okay with that, just funny. The day before I left for London, you’d think I was shocked by lightning. The electricity that was running through my veins was no match for any ADHD medicine the FDA had ever approved. Now, my body is beginning to fall victim to the earlier time zone. Not that it was a big deal, it was going to happen eventually. These next few days would just entail a difficult sleeping schedule. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.

I quickly find my way back to my own bedroom. The yelling was quieter, but I could still hear George through the thin walls. He was murmuring to someone softly. This apartment complex was all 1 bedroom apartments. He didn’t live alone. How lovely! I made a fool of myself to him, and he was most definitely telling his partner right now. Talk about dignity, am I right?

I scrolled through my phone for an hour, before the screaming returned to its original volume. Would it be overdramatic to say I felt my face go red with anger? I don’t think so. I think I handled the situation as politely as I could. Hell, I even cracked a joke so he could know I wasn’t that upset over the situation! If I knew he was going to resume his disruptive noises, I wouldn’t have been so nice or absolutely hilarious. Nobody that douchey gets my amazing humor. He didn’t even laugh! I hear another shout followed by a slam to a desk. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Welp. Welcome to London!

[kendallroydefender]

Late nights at Hawkins High Part 2 (Billy Hargrove x reader)

Part 1

You went to stand in the line to get your degree in the sun on the field where you and Billy shared your first kiss a few months ago. It felt like an eternity ago. You waited until they called your last name, walked onto the stage shaking hands with the headmaster and he handed you the piece of paper that meant you were free. After the ceremony you walked up to the mullet haired boy that was your boyfriend. You and Billy had been going strong for the last months. "Hey there.“ you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, his went around your waist as he gave you a sweet kiss "Hey princess. Congrats.“ he whispered against your lips as you parted slightly "Congrats to you too.“ you smiled at him. You took his hand into yours and walked to where your parents where standing. "Look at you two! Congratulations!“ your mother said and gave both of you a big hug, your father did the same afterwards. Your parents liked Billy alot even before you became a couple and they were even happier as you told them that you were in a relationship. You talked to them a bit until his father, his stepmom and Max came over to where you were standing. "Congratulations!“ Susan said as they approached you. "Who would’ve thought Billy was getting a degree!“ his father laughed, it seemed like he wanted it to sound like a joke but you knew his intentions behind it so you took your boyfriends hand again and gave it a squeeze. Your parents talked for a bit with his parents and Neil threw quite a view mean "jokes“ toward Billy.

After a few more minutes you excused yourself and walked a bit away from the group. "I fucking hate him.“ you muttered once you were sure they couldn’t hear you anymore. "Me too, but it’s only one more night.“ he said and you began to smile widely. Tomorrow you would leave Hawkins and you couldn’t be happier to start this new chapter of your life. "Y/n, Billy!“ Someone called and you saw your other best friend Robin come towards you. "Oh my god hey!“ you two hugged each other "Can you believe it? We actually did it!“ you said "I know right?!“ she went to give Billy a hug afterwards. When you and Billy had first got close she wasn’t a fan of him at all. She actually despised him but they eventually got on fine with each other and once she saw how happy he made you she didn’t hated him that much anymore. She was actually happy after you told her that you were together now since she knew how much you liked him and she just wanted her best friend to be happy. One particular Friday night when Robin was staying at your house Billy tapped on your window almost giving her a heart attack thinking the monster from the movie you had just watched was coming. That night he let Robin in on his secret after you swore to him that he could trust her that she wouldn’t tell anyone. After that she understood why he was acting the way he used to in school better.

You and your two friends talked a bit until someone screamed "HARGROVE!“ you saw Billy cringe slightly "Hey Tommy“ Billy said to the boy that approached you all now. "What’s up? You gonna come to my party tonight right?“ he asked and Billy shrugged looking at you gave a small nod. "Yeah guess so.“ He said and Tommy clapped his back "That’s my man!“. They continue talking and you turn towards Robin "You’re coming too right?“ she makes a disapproving sound "It’s my last night and I want to spend it with my best friend please!“ you whine and a smile breaks out on her face "Okay okay!“ you hug her thightly once more.

Afterwards you and Billy went to your parents house to have dinner with them. They originally wanted to invite the Hargrove/Mayfield household too but you asked them not to. Without much explaining you had told your family that Billy had a difficult relationship with his father and that Neil was not a nice person. Billy was happy when he sat down at your table now. He always felt welcomed in your parents home and he was so thankful that they’d accepted him into their lives. You all ate and talked freely. You were also extremely happy seeing your parents and your boyfriend get along so nicely. After the dinner your parents handed you both a envelope. "We have a little present for the two of you. Go on open it!“ your mother said and you opened it, in it were two checks with 500 dollars each. Your family was far from rich so thousand dollars was a lot of money for you. "I- I can’t take this.“ Billy said shaking his head. "Billy. We love you, you are a part of this family now and we thought you two would need a little something for California.“ you father said. Billy looked at it for another moment while he blinked, he looked at your father "Thank you! A lot. Thank you.“ your mother gave the blonde another hug and you thanked them after that. You were so happy to have a loving family and you were sad to leave them. But you would had left Hawkins even if you hadn’t met Billy. You wanted to leave this town since you were 12.

"I can’t believe you are leaving me here!“ Robin pouted but you knew there were no hard feelings. You two sat on a bench in the garden of Tommys House, everyone else was inside drinking and dancing. After a bit Billy came through the door "Here you are.“ you shuffled closer to Robin so he could sit next to you. "Oh I forgot to tell you! I went to get my work uniform today and guess who’s my co worker?“ she asked you pulled your eyebrows up "Who?“ she took a sip from the red cup before saying "Steve fucking Harrington!“ you chuckled "Don’t laugh! It’s a nightmare!“ now you actually let out a laugh "Geez Robin maybe he’s nice...“ she rolled her eyes at you "He’s a dingus!“ "I agree!“ Billy said and you shot him a glance "You shouldn’t be so quick to judge him. Remember I wasn’t so happy either when I was paired up with this one.“ you nodded your head towards Billy "Hey!“ he chuckled holding a hand over his heart. "You know i love you know. But you were mean back then.“ you explained yourself "Yeah I was a dick...“

"Look people can change maybe you and Steve will become friends.“ Robin made a disgusted face "Okay stop before im going to puke.“ you leaned your head onto Billy’s shoulder as the topic of the conversation changed.

As you were about to leave you remembered to ask something "Oh Robin you’re coming over tomorrow right?“

"Of course what time?“ you thought about it "Billy comes over at 12 so maybe 10?“ she nodded and you all got into your parents car wich you drove since you didn’t owned one yourself and neither did Robin and the camaro was already packed with your suitcases and stuff you wanted to take with you to your knew home. You drove Robin home and then made your way to Billy’s house. "You really don’t want to stay over at mine?“ you asked as you looked at the House in front of you. "Nah my dad would actually kill me if I would do that.“ he leaned over to give you a kiss "Also after tonight I can share a bed with you every night.“ you hummed as you leaned in again. The sweet little kiss turned into a small make out session. Kissing Billy still made you nervous but a good kind of nervous, the butterflies were still there everytime. "I love you Billy.“ you said and he gave you a peck again "I love you too.“ he opened the door "See you tomorrow.“ he said. Once he reached the door he winked at you and then he was gone.

The next morning you had breakfast with your parents and packed a few things you needed like your shampoo and toothpaste, everything else was already in the Camaro. You had been able to downgrade your need of rooms once you were actually a couple since you wouldn’t need two separate bedrooms anymore. The flat you had ended up renting wasn’t that big but you loved it when you visited it a few weeks ago also it wasn’t far from the beach. Billy had already found a job there, one of his old friends had known someone who looked for a lifeguard this summer and being a California native he easily got the job. You would look for one in the coming weeks even though Billy was always telling you to apply for college in California but you wanted to start college with him next year.

Robin came over to your house and you talked until Billy came over. You said your goodbyes to your parents first crying but they assured you that you did the right thing and that the two would be back to thanksgiving anyway. Robin hugged you tight and you had to swear to her to call every week at least once and meet up with her when you were in town. You also told her that she should come visit you at the end of summer. While you talked to her your parents hugged Billy goodbye and once you parted Robin looked at the mulled haired boy "Come here you Dingus!“ they hugged and you heard her say "Take good care of her!“ he chuckled "I will.“ she smiled too "Yeah I know.“ you got into the car’s passenger seat, still crying and you all waved as you left. "Are you sure you want to do this... with me?“ Billy asked almost whispering. "Of course I want to B!“ he didn’t looked at you "Billy I love you and I want to start this new part of my life with you! I’m sure in this decision! I want this.“ he smiled now "I want this too. Fuck You don’t know how happy I am that I’m able to leave and on top of that I have you.“ you intertwined your fingers with his and he gave your hand a kiss.

The drive was exhausting, you took turns driving so the other could sleep but finally you did it. The moment you stood in the living room of your new home you knew this long drive was worth it. You squealed as you hugged Billy close giving him a few fast kisses. You were able to get a small flat that was already furnished. Sure it wasn’t anything fancy but you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. This was perfect. After you brought your stuff inside you decided to take a walk on the beach and get some takeaway.

Billy watched the smile on your face wich made him smile as well. You walked hand in hand, the water beside you and you just looked stunning to him. He could actually cry because of how happy he was. "I can’t believe this.“ Billy said and you looked up at him "I know it’s perfect here.“ he stopped walking causing you to also halt. "I love you y/n. You don’t know how much and I’d never thought that would be possible but here I am.“ you smiled up at the boy with the blonde mullet and your heart hammered in your chest. "I love you too Billy Hargrove.“ he smiled a genuine smile, the one he gave only you before he slipped his hand in yours and kissed the back of it briefly as you started to walk along the shore again.

[holidaywishes]

I Can’t Always Be Perfect

  Summary: Having a sibling with a mental disability isn’t easy and can often be taxing, especially when things start to pile up at home and at work. So when things fall apart when (Y/N) tries their best to make things as close to perfect as they can, she has a bit of a breakdown.

  Warning: angst, mild language, trigger warning for mention of anxiety and emotionally abusive parents

  Author’s Note: So, I’m going through something right now. I don’t really know why I chose Willy for this, to be honest, but I felt like he might be a good one to make you feel better after you’ve had a rough time with things. He seems like the type to be able to make you laugh when you need it. This was a fic that came about because of things that have been building up for a while now and I’m lucky enough to have a few close people in my life that I can talk about these things with but sometimes, you just don’t want to burden anyone with your shit, so I wanted to put some of my personal drama and angst into a short little fic. I also want everyone and anyone to know that if there is anything they need to talk about regarding mental illness, anxiety, stressful home situations, anything, I’m here to be an ear and a metaphorical shoulder to lean on. Always. Also, I tried to keep this non-gendered so I used they so it would feel more inclusive. I’ll try to do this more in the future or use (Y/P/P) for Your Preferred Preference as I know that, even though it’s a small thing, it’s important. I love you all and I hope you enjoy this thing I wrote. Stay golden <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  You considered yourself a good person. Not perfect, not even exceptional, just good. You took care of things at home when your parents were at work, you cleaned up after your brother when he made a mess out of the entire house. You tried to do the right thing and tried to give back when you could, especially to causes that hit close to home, but that didn’t mean you were exempt from sometimes missing the mark and sometimes it meant taking a lot more than you had the capacity to take.

  “(Y/N)!” your mom yelled from the kitchen and you ran to see what was wrong, “What is this?!” she asked, pointing to the mess on your carpet from your brother spilling his cereal on the carpet earlier in the day

  “Carter must have.. I forgot to clean it up, I’m sorry” you whimpered

  “I’m sick and tired of coming home to a dirty house!” she shouted

  “I’m sorry” you repeated

  “We’re at work all day, me and your father, the least you could do is make sure these things are done”

  “This is just one time..” you said before squeezing your eyes shut, knowing that the words probably wouldn’t sit right with your mom

  “ONE TIME IS ENOUGH!” she yelled, “You’re not working and you’re staying here, RENT FREE, so what the hell do you have going on that you can’t clean up a mess when it’s made?!”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” you tried, speaking softly to not upset your mom anymore than she already was, “I just meant that the house is usually clean and tidy and supper is usually made when everyone gets here. Today was... a mistake and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say”

  “DO BETTER!” she continued, snapping at you as you quickly tried to clean up the mess under her feet, “and stop being such a god damn brat!”

  “HEY!” your dad shouted as he walked in the door, “what the fuck is going on?! I can hear you all from down the street!”

  “I didn’t clean up after Carter today”

  “And she’s been home all day, just moping around because she can’t find a job I’m sure”

  “She lost her job because of the pandemic, Susan,” your dad argued, “it’s different for us. We’re both on the front lines. We can’t lose our jobs”

  “I know!” she snapped, “and she should know how lucky she is that we’re letting her stay here without paying for anything”

  “Stop it” your dad said, trying to get your mom to calm down but it didn’t work

  “Don’t you start with me” she urged

  “Can I just vacuum this? And then I’ll make supper, okay?” you tried, wanting to get away from everything

  “Fine,” your mom yelled before stepping out of the room, “but that’s not the point! This should’ve been done before we got home!”

  “She’s trying to do it now!” your dad yelled back, “let her do it!”

  “YOU KNOW WHAT?!” your mom countered, grabbing the vacuum and pushing you aside, “I’LL DO IT MYSELF!”

  “SUSAN!” your dad yelled

  “MOM! STOP!” you shouted but she didn’t listen, tuning everyone out with the buzzing of the vacuum. You looked at your dad who only shrugged and you were forced to scoff at the reaction, walking away to your room because there was nothing more you could do, only to find your brother sitting on the couch listening to everything; you rolled your eyes at his complete lack of accountability and scoffed before shaking your head and walking to your room. Your hands were shaking and your body was buzzing, you didn’t know what to do. This had been a long time coming. The fighting, the arguing, the yelling. Everyone was stressed out and stretched thin and you were doing your best to keep yourself together so no one around you would feel like they had to take care of you on top of everything else but when a text came in, you couldn’t help but start to feel the stress build up in your chest

  “Hey!” William’s text read

  “Hey” you sent back, trying to be as casual as possible

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah.. My mom’s just a little stressed out. Can I text you later?”

  “Of course but are you sure you’re alright? I can come over, help out?”

  “No!” you sent back quickly, noticing the ellipses pop up and you knew you had to back track, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to come over, I just need to sort somethings out and then I’ll text you, we’ll talk. Just... later okay?”

  “Okay.” You sighed as you pushed your phone to the side, dropping your head in your hands to rub your temples; it wasn’t long before your mom barged into your room

  “Why?” was the way she chose to start. No apology, no greeting, just straight into the same argument you had before, “why didn’t you clean it up as soon as you saw it?”

  “I thought he would do it himself” you admitted

  “You saw that he tried, you couldn’t have finished?”

  “He vacuums his mess all the time,” you argued, “I thought that he’d say something or realize... I don’t know, I guess I didn’t think”

  “You know his brain doesn’t work like ours” she said, glaring at you as she stood in the doorway

  “I know,” you sighed, “I just had some errands to run this afternoon and when I saw that he spilled something, I thought that he was embarrassed to tell me and he needed a minute before he could clean it up. So I did the dishes and left the room, forgetting about the mess. Then you came home and found it”

  “That’s not an excuse”

  “I’m not trying to make up an excuse, mom!” you yelled, just once, before you settled down and composed yourself, “I’m just trying to explain what happened.”

  “You know that your brother is different and that you need to do more to help him but you’re so concerned with yourself that you can’t manage to clean up one tiny mess!”

  “Concerned with my--” you scoffed, “I do take care of this place when you’re gone. There have been so many other messes that I’ve been forced to clean up that you have no idea about -- including the many times he’s missed the toilet and peed around the toilet -- so one day, one mess not being cleaned up, does not mean that I’m so concerned with myself. This isn’t a gigantic mess that he can’t clean up, he vacuums all the time so excuse me for thinking that he would have the ability to clean up some dry cereal on the carpet!”

  “He’s your brother!” she countered, “and he’s got mental delays so you have to be able to take care of him”

  “AND WHAT HAPPENS TO ME?!” you finally snapped, “I do my best to take care of him and you and dad and make sure no one is stressed out more than they already are but I’m not a caretaker. I’m not the older sibling. He’s 10 years older than me, Mom, and sometimes I need to be able to walk away and do things that don’t require me to act like his mother!” The tears began to fall down your heated cheeks and you looked at your moms face which only seemed to shift slightly at your words, “I’m sorry that I didn’t spend every second of my day today cleaning every inch of the house to make it look that no one lives here. I’m sorry that I took a little bit of time for myself. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

  “You just have to do better” she said quietly and you shook your head, trying to hold back your tears

  “I can’t always be perfect. I can’t always do everything. I missed something today and I’m sorry that it screwed up your day. But I shouldn’t be expected to do everything!” You finally got up, grabbing your phone, and pushed passed your mom so you could escape everything

  “Don’t you dare walk away right now” she growled and you pulled your arm from her grasp, making your way to the door before finally meeting your dads stare

  “Don’t leave, (Y/N),” he pleaded, “talk to us. Talk to me.” Part of you wanted to say something, to make him feel better, but you didn’t want him to see you cry anymore than you already were, so you ignored his attempt to make you stay; grabbing your keys and jumping in the car.

xx

Willy’s P.O.V

  “Can we meet somewhere?” (Y/N) finally texted you after nearly two hours and you were quick to suggest the rink. When you got there, you found (Y/N) huddled up, head against their knees as they waited for you

  “(Y/N)?” you whispered, seeing the tears on their face when they raised their head

  “Hi...” they replied

  “What’s wrong?” you asked, rushing to their side

  “I’m just feeling like I can’t do anything right today. Like, I’m supposed to never make mistakes and I failed today”

  “Everyone makes mistakes...”

  “You don’t...” they scoffed

  “Have you kept up with my career at all?” you teased

  “Sure but,” (Y/N) faltered, “I don’t know, Willy, I just hate having this pressure on me to be perfect. Feeling like I have to be a parent to my older sibling. I know that he’s gone through a lot and that his life is hard and that it will always be harder than mine. I know that and I try, I try so hard to make his life easier and my parents lives easier. But I have given up so many opportunities to make that possible. I deferred University for two years because my parents needed me to stay home. I didn’t apply to NYU because it was too far away. I didn’t take that amazing job at Massey Hall because the hours were too flexible. I gave up my personal life, my romantic life because it was too hard to make time for my brother with all of it. I sacrificed both my High School Graduation and my University Graduation so he could feel included. I got offered an internship in London that I had to pass on because it was too far away and my family needed me here. I love him, he’s my brother and I would die before I let anything happen to him but I just get exhausted sometimes, always having to worry about him and take care of him and make things easy for everyone but me. Then, I feel bad for getting exhausted and I overcompensate and exhaust myself even further.”

  “You’re burnt out”

  “Yeah,” they sighed, “I don’t wanna be. But I can’t ask for help or get my parents to understand why, if I don’t have a job, I am so burnt out”

  “Want me to tell ‘em?” you joked

  “No.” You noticed their eyes begin to tear and you tried to be there for them as best you could, letting them rest their head on your shoulder, rubbing their hand softly, “I just... I don’t know what to do anymore. Some days everything is fine and then other days, the smallest thing sets my mom off and I feel like she hates me and that she doesn’t think I do anything or that I haven’t given up anything. Like I should always be doing more...”

  “I want to make you feel better,” you finally said, “tell me what I can do.” You waited in silence for a minute so (Y/N) could get their composure

  “This.” (Y/N) said softly, “Just be here, with me. All this stuff, it’s my problem and I have to learn how to solve it. But you being here with me right now, letting me lean on you, helps.”

  “So I have strong shoulders?” you joked and they laughed, “Is this me being your superhero?”

  “Can you not?” they said, smacking your arm before looking up at you with a smile

  “I’ll always be here to save the day” you smiled

  “Yeah, you will won’t you?” they smiled back and you kissed their forehead, staying still in the cold ice rink until both of you were ready to leave.

[michipeachiii]

Y’all want another fucking venting post? Cause this is a fucking venting post. 

SO gets a text from his mom at 5am today, talking bout how she wants to sit down with the both of us to talk. 

Whatever so SO calls her whenever we get up. She doesn’t know I can hear the conversation. Anyways points that were made

SO’s mom claims that I lack initiative and that I don’t try hard enough

She claims that SO is enabling me (I genuinely don’t know what the fuck she’s hinting at. This was said in reference to SO and I sharing chores lmao)

That my lack of doing chores at their house is the reason why my back hurts (again wtf. I shouldn’t be responsible for doing chores at their house when two grown men live there too. Also maybe you shouldn’t be forcing me to do things that hurt my back.)

Saying that all I do is tell SO to do things, like I’m forcing him to do chores. (Not true. And if I do ask him for help it’s because it’s a difficult task for me because of my back or because it’s something that goes by easier with two people. This isn’t me forcing him to do things or ordering him around, or making him do things for me. SO and I share chores and unlike his parents, he actually understands and cares about my physical limitations)

That I don’t do enough chores at their house (Again wtf, I am not your fucking maid.)

That I need to earn my place. (I don’t need to prove shit to anyone especially when you keep moving the goalposts whenever it suits you and your needs.)

Insinuated once again that I am a freeloader. Complaining that we live rent free (the house was paid off over 10 years ago), claiming that they pay all of our utilities (they don’t), complaining that I don’t have a traditional job

“I love her but she needs to change...” and then mentions things I need to change about myself like... not displaying more than one emotion at a time. Seriously. Because heaven forbid that humans are actually multifaceted and complex beings. 

“She likes to talk out both ends of her mouth. She can’t be sad one minute and then mad because (her boyfriend) is getting yelled at the next.” (Again wtf is this even supposed to mean)

Some points I’d like to fucking make for my fucking self. 

People cannot continue to put my health, both mental and physical, in their fucking mouth, and then completely disrespect and stomp all over it the next. You’re either concerned about my wellbeing or convinced that I’m using it as a excuse to not get things done for you (which I can’t even being to explain how egotistical of a fucking take that is). And if you’re so fucking concerned about my wellbeing, how about you don’t take the time to fucking attack me while I’m in the middle of my body having a fucking allergic reaction due to the fucking stress you’re putting me through because you fucking caused it?!!

Also, you can’t fucking say that the money isn’t an issue when you keep bringing up money. You cannot continue the things you claim you did in good faith and as a favor over my head and then say, “it’s not about the money but...” And if it was such a big fucking problem to begin with, you should have said something fucking 2 years ago and not fucking now. You don’t tell me to not worry about it and focus on my business and my health, and then start acting like I’ve been financially irresponsible and accuse me of being a fucking freeloader after 2 years of pretending that things are fine. 

Also how dare you fucking say that I don’t do enough around the house for you? First of all, not my job. Second of all, very much feels like I’m being expected to fully take over the role of SO’s mom while she’s sick and like I’m being expected to fill this role of “provider” for everyone... Like. No. I do things I’m not even asked to do, I do things I’m asked to do, I ask if there’s anything to do, and both his parents make it seem like everything is fine. So to turn around and then claim that I’m not doing enough??? Baffling. Again, what else am I being expected to do, wipe the dad’s ass for him? 

When I tell you that I want to fucking SCREAM... 🙃

[elvearryn]

This is where I stop being civil, you have been warned.

Ah yes, dragons, one of the three things keeping me alive right now.

I've been.. obsessed with dragons ever since I was a little kid. It started when I first watched How To Train Your Dragon.

I just find it fascinating; dragons, big beasts with wings and fury, capable of consciousness and morals.

That they could fly; their tails being such a crucial part of the process, and I don't think any other media focuses on the fact that tails are just as important as wings.

I no longer obsess over HTTYD, though it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Next came 4th grade.

Here, I was mostly out of the dragon-phase. Sure, they're cool, but like, I don't spend any brainpower on it.

I saw The Dark Secret (a book, the fourth one in the Wings Of Fire series. At this point, I've basically spelled my name out in big bold letters but let's ignore that yeah :D)

I think, "Hmm, that looks interesting."

AND THEN IT TAKES OVER MY LIFE.

The only word I can use is.. devoured. It devoured me. That series lives rent-free in my head.

My family was not great with me being a dragon-nerd all the time, though they never stopped me, so thanks :)

I talked about it every second, everywhere with anyone who was willing to listen. Eventually it hits you that no, people would not like to listen to a 10-year-old blabber about mythological creatures.

A year later, after mostly keeping to myself about the topic. I find my lord, my saviour, let's call them... Sia.

Sia's quiet, shy, and it took a while for me to get to know them, but we were pretty good friends after a while.

AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENS.

"Hey, what's your favourite book series?"

"Oh, WIngs of Fire."

"wAIT WHAT I LOVE THAT TOO"

"Really?! There's a game I really like too, it's called-"

"Dragon Mania Legends??"

"YES???"

And I had finally found someone to talk to, someone who would listen (and understand!!!) what I was talking about not only one, but two of my favourite things.

Life couldn't be better. :D

..uNTIL THEY HAD TO MOVE TO ANOTHER FUCKING CONTINENT BECAUSE VISAS- *starts sobbing*

I never really left the dragon phase after that. WoF isn't the best, I will admit, but it's my comfort series so <3

After 5th grade, I got into other branches. Fanfic, fanart, YouTube channels. I started too, it took a while, but now I can draw and write about dragons all I want :D (I sound like a 5 year old please-)

Cut to me now, hyperfixated on this wonderfully flawed world. It̀s been 5 years since I'd first seen a dragon, and it's a huge part of who I am today. It's changed my life, probably for the worse - *cut to my grades dropping by 10% after 4th*- but DO I GIVE A FUCK. N O.

No one asked but I have, like, every single mutual on here as a tiny dragon headshot, will they ever see the light of day, probably not, but oh well.

So, uhm, that's how I became possibly the biggest dragon fan to ever exist.

(People really need to remember that just because something has dragons, doesn't mean I think it's aMaZiNg *cough* Raya And The Last Dragon *cough*)

This was less about dragons and more about,,,, me, I'm sorry for putting you through this, and thank you for listening to me.

*hugs you*

My little sister is a huge Dragon nerd, she never stops talking about the new dragons she's hatched on Dragon Mania, and my Lord I've spent so much money buying her the WoF books, she blabbers about the different types and the humans (scavengers?) All the time too, she has shirts and books and toys and she's going into 6th grade next year, and recently she's gotten into Roblox with her best friend and even then it's all dragons

No need to thank me, I'm always happy to listen *hugs you back*

[writing-frenzy]

Airplane gets Ghosted~

Brain: :D

Me: Oh no, what did you do.

Brain: Let’s make another Airplane Harem~

Me. 🥺 why are you like this?!

Note: Inspired by A Crowd of Evil Spirits Lines Up to Confess to Me; pretty funny horror unlimited flow story, with some good scares that leave ya at the edge of your seat. (I really love the Protagonist, so good and pure and I headcannon as Aro-Ace~) So anyways, for those who don’t know, in the novel, the Protagonist Gu Wuji is a genuinely good person, an aspiring actor on hard times who suddenly gets pulled into this horror survival game. Here is the thing; while for others this is a truly cursed and terrible thing, for the protag this is just a regular day, just with some people who need some help; he will help Ghosts just as much as he would help a human.

Ghost: *being Scary*

Gu Wuji: Oh no, let me help you? *smiles*

Ghost: *either a blushing mess, happy to be helped, or can feel how strong this human is and is the one scared instead*

So yeah, here this man goes, bewitching everyone he meets, especially terrifying Ghosts who want him to die so they can stay together forever 🙃 Lucky he is so charming, and that with every Instance cleared, he can get points to get items and information/hints from the store.

And then I though about Airplane being in this position and I just grinned.

So, to preface this, I’m going to go on how I think Airplane has been raised in this AU.

Basically, since our favorite writer was young, Airplane was pretty much raised by ghosts. With two increasingly furious and arguing parents who couldn’t care less about him, they don’t notice at all how weird their kid is, not wanting to be reminded of old memories. So thus start’s Airplane’s growing up more comfortable with the headless car-crash victim who helps him know when his bullies are around then actual living people who only seem to try and tear each other apart more then most dead ever want to. Not to say he hasn’t met some mean dead too, but all they seem to care about is just scaring him off so they can be alone. Which, fair.

Just... Airplane is still Airplane, but for him, normal is dealing with the Ghostly Neighbor who will at least hear him out most of the time, especially since most Living people are assholes.

(Also, Airplane will have some of the strength that Gu Wuji is known for, but he mostly just has a really good head for intelligence, logistics, plots, and strategy... Let’s just say Airplane has seen and been through some shit in his younger years.) 

I am also being a gremlin and making Shen Jiu and Yue Qi be the friends Airplane makes in middle school, Shen Jiu being superstitious as fuck and Yue Qi going along with it, even as he because more WTF the longer they are friends with Airplane and fully realize ‘Shit, ghost are fucking real, nope, nope, nope.’ It is a beautiful, disaster of a trio and their friendship is eternal... (even if Shen Jiu will never forgive/hold over Yue Qi for leaving him with the ghost in the fucking burned down Mansion, even if Airplane fixed it; apparently it had something to do with their previous incarnations?)

So yeah, these guys are released out into the world, where Airplane writes really good, if bloody dramas, asking his Ghost Friends if he can use some of their stories and them either not caring or excited as they give him the go ahead. (The Police have some questions...)

Sure, he writes some bad porn on the side, but with some of his Ghost friends able to beta read for him, Airplane is able to stay a float nice and easy, if still anxious every time he has to pay the rent because human interaction is so hard when you’re dealing with the living. (Don’t have to worry about meeting someone’s eyes if they’re gouged out after all)

And then we get to the Instances :) (Now, besides the first one that does happen First, these others could happen with one or two between them.)

First Instance(Novice): The Traitor’s Secret~

The fresh new Players, with some older ones here, is part of a Merchant Caravan that they just have to ensure gets from point A to point B, and just live. Simple mission as this is a Novice Instance for innocents pulled in. And it would have even remained a simple one, only having to deal with the wondering dead that are manageable, as they have plenty of supplies to ration and work with, if one of the Older Players wasn’t here with ulterior motives.

See, this ‘Senior’ managed to buy information that there is a great item that can be obtained; the thing is, one must betray their comrades in order to get it, with the first betrayal making the difficulty rise from the Novice to Intermediate immediately, as this as awakened a terrible Boss.

It probably would have gone smoothly (maybe....) but here is the thing.

As it turns out, ‘Senior’ didn’t buy enough information; after The First Betrayal, the Boss Ghost will sneakily become a part of the Party, acting much like a helpful NPC when really he is a trap; if the Betrayer betrays him, it is game over.

But the game is different this time; No one expects Airplane, who has the ability and instincts of a cockroach who was completely willing to hug a Ghost’s (well, NPC’s) thighs

Cue Shang Qinghua who is very confused, because after he sneakily becomes part of the group, this human has decided to cling to him of all people, the Creepy/Grumpy NPC, and not his fellow group members... 

Airplane grows on SQH like a fugus, makes amazingly funny commentary, and even tells some interesting stories. On Airplane’s part, Shang Qinghua feels not only like the strongest guy here, but also the most reliably competent...

 Not to mention he feels comfortable to be around, which is weird since Airplane doesn’t usually feel to comfortable with the living~ (ha ha ha, maybe because he’s a NPC? Though he still freezes with those guys too...) 

As it is, because ‘Senior’ needs to betray everyone, he tries to get Airplane, who, again, is still a very, very morally ambiguous guy, sees this guy trying to kill him, and simply pushes them instead into a throng of the undead.

Airplane: Ah, sorry for the terrible sight Senior brother, but he was trying to kill us? Are you alright? Do you want a massage?

Shang Qinghua is incredulous, but becomes more charmed as time passes.

(Remembers, how his martial brothers, people who he had lived and worked beside all his life, so easily sold him out, trying to kill him only for him to suffer a fate worse then death. It was only so much time was passed, after having to spy and betray those who betrayed him before he finally had the release of death; but even then, his resentment was too strong, even the blood sealed onto his jade hairpin filled with resentment.)

It is this item he gives to Airplane, blushing as he does as he says if the other ever needs help, to just use the pin and it won’t lead him wrong.

When Airplane leaves the instance, he gets a system notice about the points he got, increased because of the Instance’s sudden level increase, as well as information on the item he received from Shang Qinghua 

Shang Qinghua’ Hairpin: A Hairpin with deadly secrets, belong to A Spy with a vast network of information, be able to uncover hidden secrets with ease and learn anything you wish of with loyal shades at your command,

 Level One: Summon two shades to gather information. (Each level up gets you another shade to do your bidding)

(He only has the information from level one, but once he levels it up, this is what else it can do)

Level 3: Your shades can now help you escape dicey situations

Level 5: Able to uncover the deadly poison hidden in the hollow of it, this deadly substance can poison Living and Dead both

Level: 7: Able to use the Hairpin like a deadly knife, the resentment enriching the wood to be harder and sharper then ever before.

(Past Level Seven, must full on stab someone in a vital place to discover this ability: Able to release one ensured fatal attack from the Hairpin; after that, it will continue to drop to a fifty-fity chance and before renewing each Instance.)

Level 10: be able to summon Shang Qinghua, the deadly competent Spy to your side to aid you; note, he will only help as much as he likes you and you are only truly safe from him for an Hour before he gets free range to do whatever he wants.

So yeah. this is Airplane’s first instance~ It was so terrifying, having to be around so many people and freaky monsters, but he thinks he made a friend? He hopes?

(He certainly gets one heck of an admirer.)(¬‿¬)

Second Instance(Novice): The Healer’s Broken Heart

So, next Instance, Airplane finds himself in an ancient, fantasy hospital with a group half novices and novices who at least survived two or three games after this. The challenge this time is two pair up into teams of two or threes and try and treat as many ‘patients’ in the hospital as one can. First, they have to collect all the medicine they need, prepare the Nursing rooms, and then, of course, treat at least five patients each, or face death for failing. 

See, the patients are sorta, kinda, Undead they need to treat as if they were living, so they Have to do things like bandaging sliced throats, sew back on sliced limbs, and drain puss and other gross gory things to give nightmares. Not to mention that they have to follow regular rules like in most hospitals, so no running in the hall, no loud sounds, things like that when their are Ghosts everywhere. (As long as someone doesn’t break the rules, the Ghosts won’t notice you.)

 As Airplane is a nervous wreck around people, and with this being a bad day for his anxiety, no one but one guy is willing to partner up with him, this gentle, sweet guy called Mu Fan, who’s amazing chill affects Airplane’s own chill and helps him feel a little better about the situation.

Ha~ Mu Fan is so nice and even knows so much about all the medicines and what to do here! He’s even helpful and nice when Airplane was about to have an anxiety attack, following what Airplane warned him about not touching him, but if he could, maybe hum if he could?

Of course Airplane can’t just let the other carry him the entire way! Mu Fan is just too nice and really helped him back there, so he wants to pay back at least a little. So, being this disaster that he is, instead of thanking Mu Fan and asking him if their is anyways to pay him back, Airplane uses his Hairpin instead to see if he could help the other out.

He gets an... interesting reaction...

Apparently, Mu Fan is actually Mu Qingfang, a Boss Ghost (tho Airplane only knows the other is a ghost) of this area, who can be activated in some ways; examples, if the Players try and hurt the Patients, if Players try and kill each other in cold blood, or try and steal Medicine. Mu Qingfang’s most sincere wish is to free his patients from this cycle of pain, hopefully be free from it for good.

This is the information that Airplane gets, what Mu Qingfang has been trying to discover for years with no luck.

Airplane: QAQ Mu Qingfang is truly too good, too pure for this world, wanting to help the other ghost past on and be out of pain.

On Mu Qingfang’s part, he saw this poor, distressed man and the doctor instincts in him went on fire as he did his best to help the other with their heart demons. But he was really, extremely impressed by them with how they treated his patients, taking care of their wounds like it was nothing, joking with the decapitated head as he sewed it back on, getting a breathless laugh from the woman as she cried happy tears from it. The doctor went really gooey though with how Airplane spellbound his audience of twins who needed to be separated after their parent had sown them together, the two young (very creepy as fuck) children begging for more, distracting from the pain of having to reattach their arms in the right places one more.

(Tries not to cry when this disaster of a Man says he has to do something first before he leaves after he finishes the five patients, only to bring a true gift back as he does. Mu Qingfang has nearly given up on his poor patients ever being free from this constant cycle of pain, their Bandit Killers, for such a small, evil group, never brought to justice only for Airplane to catch them all, bringing them to the hospital so that all their grievances can be aired out and payed back once and for all. It took a bit, and Airplane accidently raised the Level of the Instance himself this time doing it, but he got all the baddies round up and incapacitated as he did.)

Mu Qingfang is ever so grateful, even as Airplane offers to help the man finish up here before he leaves, the last doctor’s visit these ghost will ever need to have. He blesses Airplane with a powerful healing ability, along with a Doctor’s kit that is full of useful supplies, refilling ever day if needed.)

So, Airplane is back in his space, cleaning his hands and body because that was still gross (but not the worse thing he has dealt with) with new points and some good prizes once more, even if he isn’t sure why the level went up all of a sudden? The Bandits honestly weren’t that hard to trick and sabotage?

Mu Qingfang’s Medical Bag

Basically, like the Hairpin, full of goodies that can do more and more OP things the higher the Level it goes (and yes, has a secret poison function as well; Now Shang Qinghua can refill the Hairpin if he ever need to :D And yes, Mu Qingfang can be summoned with an Item in the bag once he gets to Level Ten..

Same with the Healing ability, it just gets more OP the higher the level, tho it doesn’t have a summoning ability, but will let you heal others as much as you want at Level Ten

So thus, this is Airplane’s second Ghost ‘Friend’~ (〃￣︶￣)人(￣︶￣〃)

Instance Three (Intermediate): Guards of The Icy Village

So, Airplane is confident in himself, seeing as he’s managed Instances that go from Novice to Intermediate all the time, thinks ‘why not try an Intermediate, since my Novice experience will probably turn out like that anyways? (the fact that all the choices he has left are either Intermediate or Hard does not matter!) 

Looking through his choices, he see a Limited Event One, with a Special Link to it; not knowing what this means but being effected by the Limited deal, he picks it.

(What this means is that there will be an Event in this Instance that will literally only be open this one time and can not be done ever again; Special Link Means that this Event will and can effect in even Higher Level Instances in the Future, depending on how Many +’s are in the title of it.)

This Event has a Max Number of +’s :)

So, he picks his choice and finds himself in this beautiful Icy wonderland with a group of other people. Everyone has to be set into teams here, guarding the snow village from evil spirits and monsters that would prey on it for five days and five nights. And because I want to, Airplane has been teamed up with Gongyi Xiao, Qin Wanrong, Qin Wanyue, and Qiu Haitang. As long as they protect their part of the Village, they will be able to pass the Instance and everything will be swell

(Is this me indulging in having some badass girls, and letting these characters not only get some damn scene time, but be able to be happy and live? Yes, yes it is, because let me explore these guys in this traumatic AU where they have to do all they can to live, and still be able to trust to have each other’s backs dang it) 

So, the Huan Hua High Schooler group have already been through two instances at this point, Airplane has been through a lot, and Qiu Haitang has had one game that turned from easy to hard in a minute that she survived with luck and her wits (and gave her a crap ton of points and a need for survival classes she took asap before her next game). Airplane, because he doesn’t trust the fact that they’ll be okay if other parts of the Village they’re in are invaded, sends his spirits and some nifty golems he got from the shop to help patrol everywhere. 

Because come on, if one place gets breached, of course the rest will be vulnerable! He’s played the Empire Building, Fortress Making games to prove it!

(Everyone nods, because this actually makes so much sense, how could they have ignored such an obvious trap! Intermediate Instances are no joke!)

Cue really scary as fuck ice monsters and evil spirits. Things are going good, Airplane and co are making it through, with Airplane discovering and making obsolete yet another trap unknowingly because he’s making sure everything is rationed(and using some points to actually buy some fooof) and checking in with villagers all over; because they are literally in charge of protecting and managing all these people, and with everything around here with the blizzard and seize, they have to make sure there is enough food and supplies for everyone. 

(That this prevents making evil spirits and monster from rising with the Village is a big thing actually, because some of them are made from the dead.)

So then, the forth day comes; it starts out nice, no more harsh snows, people are coming out of their houses now, Airplane is nearly tearing his hair out from stress and too many people, but he can make do. (has had to make do with worse really)

And then he hears some of the Villagers are about to riot, planning to go at something with stones and pitchforks. Panicking, thinking these NPCs that he has to protect are trying to go outside their weight class, Airplane gets the others in his team and other teams who are useful to hopefully get the weak peasant class NPC out of danger as he goes about handling the problem himself, only to stop and start at the literal child bleeding in from of him.

For a moment, Airplane blanks... (Sure, he knows, from experience, that Children Ghosts are in fact some of the most, if not the most deadly ghost out there... And yet... for all the pranks and cruelty they played, they were always the ones who understood Airplane’s loneliness the most, being the most truthful and blunt and just honest with him...)

So, when Airplane sees this light blue demon child with horns and nasty claws, tear stains on his still baby fat cheeks even as they scowl and bare fangs, fear and anger in their eyes as they tremble before him, Airplane does not kill the child or run them out of the village.

It takes some coaxing, and it’s mostly hunger on the child’s part that wins in the end, but with the last of Airplane’s Jerky being torn through, he is able to treat the kid with his kit in his tent, even get them some cold soup to eat before they sleep.

Airplane has enough time to possibly panic over the fact ‘Wait, if there is a child there must be a parent’ before said Child’s Father appears in the Village the next morning, KO’ing two teams before almost killing his own before Airplane shakily presents them their well treated and contented child... 

who doesn’t let go, until their parent raises an eyebrow, makes an amused huff, and easily grabs their child, even if it leaves Airplane with some nasty scratches and one less lucky charm necklace.

(The Future Mobei-Jun, still Mo Bolin, nearly cries, but stubbornly bites his lip as he does, glaring at anything and everyone around him, especially his parent and the warm person he has to leave here. He wants to keep them! They saved him when their was no gain for it, and even used much needed supplies to treat him, which Mo Bolin knows are important and guarded fiercely! They told interesting stories and had good food! He doesn’t want to leave them.)

Mo Bolin’s Father is very amused, and gives Shang Qinghua an ice power(shield) and a Teleporting Token.

So, when Shang Qinghua gets back from this instance, he gets some friend requests, a bunch of points for the best possible ending ever achieved in a game, and info about his new things.

he’ll only be able to make Shields and Barriers with his new Ice Ability, with the strength and number he can make increasing with each level.

With the Token, it allows him to teleport a limited range and places he either sees or has been. It can’t be leveled, but apparently, if he fulfills some sort of condition, it can be upgraded.

So, those are ideas I have for some of the Instances. Things not mentioned:

Time with the Instances is weird; Time still always moves forward, but it can easily skip around... So the next time Airplane accidently gets into a high Nightmare Grade Instance, He might see a fully grown Mo Bolin, now Mobei-Jun~ 

Another example of Time being weird with the Instances; Airplane obviously met Shang Qinghua first, but Shang Qinghua had been Betrayed and sold out to Mobei-Jun, the same Mobei-Jun that Airplane saved as a child :D

(Yes, Airplane will summon Shang Qinghua in an Instance with Mobei-Jun, and it will be gloriously awkward, even as Shang Qinghua is smug, because he can still see Airplane anytime the other wishes to summon him)

(This will probably lead to Mobei-Jun upgrading Airplane’s Token, making it to where it’s range is even greater now, and can summon him if Airplane wishes it.)

I am still on the fence of making Shen Yuan either a Ghost and part of the Harem, or a player who is bros with Airplane.

There is an Instance in their Real Life, where Qiu Haitang, Shen Jiu, Yue Qi, along with Airplane go along one hell of a Blast from the Past as they find out terrible secrets, things get resolved, there is much crying to be had, and everyone agrees to never mention the Instance ever again or so help them Shen Jiu will make them forget.

(Shen Jiu likes having a sister. Qiu Haitang likes having a brother she actually likes.)

Liu Qingge is a disaster; is he a player, is he a Ghost, is he a monster? Who knows, Airplane doesn’t. (I’m going to say he is a fellow player~ he just likes messing with Airplane.)

And thus, here is this AU~ Hope you guys like it~ EDIT: Noticed this was weird to read, so I added spaces: hope this helps.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

I know we are all discussing the latest episode of Season 16, but I need to wrap up 11 for my own sanity (because there is a LOT to discuss in my Season 12 rewatch already), so without further ado - more rambling for you.

I’m not going to include 11x20: Don’t Call Me Shurley because I think I’d like to do an entire Chuck - arc - series.  Rob Benedict is a gift; that dad mug kills; and I love that the fan theories about Chuck spinning around this fandom for years turned out to be correct after all (WEIRD HOW THAT HAPPENS WITH CHARACTERS EH).  Moving on.

As you will recall, two recaps and many many many crackhead other posts from my corner of super hell ago, I ended the 11x18 recap with this image of Amara realizing...”something” after Dean said Cas’s name (just before she took Casifer with her), Dean/Amara unbreakable connection be damned. Speaking of unbreakable connection this post is partially the AMARA DISSERTATION.  Buckle up.

FF to 11x21: All in the Family; the boys are shooting the shit with Chuck and in the meantime, Amara is torturing Casifer.  Important to note that just recently the actual Cas was enlightened that Dean wants him to cast Lucifer out, so I presume he is a little more active at this point, and that strengthens the following hypothesis.  Look how Amara is looking at Casifer here:

And here, right before she touches him on the chest.

It’s the same look she gave Dean. She’s trying to decipher something; trying to figure something out. 

She appears to Dean in the VERY next scene, to show him how she is torturing Casifer.  But the real point is, of course, to show him how its affecting the physical form of Cas, reminding him its not just Lucifer who is suffering.  It works.  

DEAN 

Amara is – she's in my head. [Sam looks at him sharply] Hey, I didn't ask for it, okay? She just showed up. But she's showing me visions of – of Lucifer. By Lucifer, I mean Cas, and he looks like crap – like she's really doing a number on him.

***Note, yet again, despite the *connection* Amara/Dean supposedly share, all he can think about and talk about is Cas.

And Amara knows it.  That’s the realization she has in 11x18.  Dean loves Cas.  Then, in 11x21 she realizes Cas loves Dean.  So, she uses it to her own ends.  Smart girl.  

Enter Donatello (I love him), prophet of (not) the Lord.  He, Metatron, and Sam set out to rescue Casifer while Dean distracts Amara.  If we start with the presumption she now has the prior additional insight, the following snippets of dialogue hit a little different.

AMARA

This place, this world hasn't been especially easy for you. Why not at least consider my offer?

*********

DEAN

You're right. I am drawn to you. And it bothers the hell out of me, 'cause I can't control it.

AMARA

Then why fight it? What you're feeling is that I am the end of your struggle. 

***AHEM, this was not the FACE CUPPING I requested.

What keeps Dean from having it all?  What is his struggle?  It’s not the monsters or the hunting.  Dean’s repeatedly shown he loves this life; he doesn't want anything else (and the one time he did try it in Season 6, it was half-ass at best, and he left the minute Sam returned to go back to hunting).  Dean’s KEY struggle in the show is internal.  He represses his feelings, pushes his pain aside, resulting in a cycle of self-loathing and anger.  That cycle keeps him from having it all - accepting he can be loved, allowing himself to give his heart to someone else.  And at this point, Amara not only knows that someone else is Cas, she knows that Cas feels the same way.  Girl, welcome to super hell.  Take a damn seat by Sam.

11x22: We Happy Few

I’ll skim through this one so this post doesn’t completely make your eyes bleed due to the sheer length.  

The splicing with the scenes of everyone assembling different factions to form the new “line-up” needed to trap Amara is excellent. I’ve already done a short post on the brilliance of Dean heading to get Crowley and the ex-boyfriend mood of it all (Dean, of all people, telling Crowley to sober up gives me an ENTIRE head canon of the Crowley/demon!Dean unseen dynamic in Season 10).   And of COURSE Dean knows exactly what to say to convince Crowley to get on board. I also enjoy our future Sam-witch as the emissary to Rowena (”three’s a coven” would be a great tattoo, TBH).

BONUS:

I love her.

Big fight scene with Amara ensues, but this isn’t the finale so she cannot be beaten.  However, right before she mortally wounds Chuck, she does this:

[Yelling, LUCIFER charges her from behind again, but AMARA flings him hard against a support pillar across the room.]

AMARA

Goodbye, nephew.

[She banishes LUCIFER. CASTIEL slumps unconscious to the floor.]

DEAN: Cas! 

(He rushes AMARA, but she flings him away without effort.)

***She banishes Lucifer.  She could have just killed him.  Ended him entirely, and Cas along with him.  But she BANISHES LUCIFER.  Because of what she learned in the prior episode.  Because of the pain she saw in both of those idiots.

She does this for Dean.

Anyway, thank you Casifer FOR YOUR SERVICE.  I miss you already.

11x23: Alpha and Omega

There is nothing more precious than Dean sending his brother to check on GOD while he goes to check on his boyfriend:

DEAN: [Grunting]

Check on him.

SAM: [kneels next to Chuck]

Hey. Chuck?

[Dean kneels down next to Cas and puts a hand on his shoulder. Cas stirs and looks up at Dean]

CAS:

Dean.

DEAN:

Cas? Hey, is that you?

***All the heart eyes for the reunion!!

*********ALSO SHOULDERRRRRRRR

Chuck is dying, Rowena bonds with him.  Crowley is gold in this finale.  I MISS YOU MARK.  This line is NOT in the transcript/script I used, and it potentially being ad libbed makes it even better.

Dean decides to deal with the end of the world by drinking ONE beer, then deciding there is “not enough” beer and grabbing Cas for a beer (and....*feelings*) run.

DEAN:

You know what? This isn't gonna be enough. I better make a run.

[Sighs]

No reason to die sober, huh?

[to Sam]

You want to?

SAM: [frustrated] 

No!

*********************

DEAN:

Be right back.

SAM:

I'll stay here, find our Plan B.

DEAN:

Okay. Cas, come on.

Nothing makes me more pleased than the assumption that of COURSE Cas is coming with him.  I mean, he just got him back.  Also, Sam is frustrated because he is back in super hell, obvi ;)   

***Now we have the little “you’re our brother” bit in the Impala beer run dialogue, but to me it’s because Dean doesn’t know how else to express what he’s feeling.  Repression, people.  

The look of literal PAIN on Cas’s face at the “brother” line makes me cackle.  Misha Collins DESERVES AN EMMY; he is doing the Lord’s work with his Acting Choices here.

This little part before is what really gets me though, especially with all of the WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

[Dean and Cas are driving in the Impala]

DEAN:

How you doing? You good?

I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing.

CAS:

I was just... so stupid.

DEAN:

No, no, no. It wasn't stupid.

You were right. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun.

Me and Sam wouldn't have done that.

CAS:

Well, it didn't work.

DEAN:

No, but it was our best shot, and you stepped up.

CAS:

I was just trying to help.

DEAN:

Well, and you do help, Cas.

***ITS JUST SO LOVELY.  Dean asking Cas how he is doing (what Cas always asks Dean); telling Cas he wasn’t stupid (throwback to Cas telling Dean he was stupid “for the right reasons”); acknowledging that Cas does HELP.  That he is important and appreciated.  THIS IS SUCH GROWTH.  I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Speak his love language, King.

Anyway, then Dean turns into a human bomb because martyr!dean gonna martyr and be “daddy’s (Chuck filling that role here) blunt little weapon” and we get -

THE DESTIEL GOODBYE. Tell me they didn’t actually go canon for the FIRST time here.  I will fight you.

LOOK at Cas watching him in the background. 

These fucking desolate eyes. I’m crying.

THEY JUST GOT EACH OTHER BACK -  

(I recognize this .gif is meh quality but I love that he turns and walks to him and Cas just GRABS him in this crushing hug)

DEAN [accepts the hug good-naturedly but then looks sad]

Okay, okay.

***”good naturedly??? ok Jensen “Acting Choices” Ackles. That is not “good nature” that is BLISS.

AND THEN THIS -

SOBS IN ENOCHIAN.

***I literally had to remind myself that the reunion hug is coming; it’s just an episode away.  I’ll make y’all feel better too; here it is - A PERFECT PARALLEL. Curse this show.

MORE OF THIS “GOOD NATURED” HUGGING PLEASE.

Anyways, back to depressing subtext.  

DEAN:

Okay, look. I want a big funeral.

All right? I'm talking epic.

Okay? Open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band, and Gary Busey reading the eulogy.

*****This scene lives in my mind rent-free as PROOF 15x20 doesn’t exist.

I can’t skip over further growth in Dean’s goodbye to Sammy.

***He’s being serious. Seasons 1-3 Dean would never have admitted this.  I was a blubbering mess at this point.

So, Dean heads to Amara, and the rest of the gang heads to the bar.

CROWLEY:

Your round, Moose.

***I would love an entire bottle episode of Crowley, Sam, Rowena, and Chuck at that bar TBH.

And then, Dean saves the day.  BUT NOT by dying and sacrificing himself, letting himself be used as a weapon of mass destruction.  No, he fixes the DAMN WORLD by connecting to Amara emotionally, and bringing her and Chuck back together, because he understands that not to be alone is what she really needs; that her own struggle is the same as his - letting in love instead of raging against it and fighting her own need for companionship.   Because that’s where ELDEST SIBLING AMARA AND Dean Winchester CONNECT.  Amara isn’t in love with Dean.  She identifies with Dean.  She sees her own feelings in him, her own pain, and that’s why she exorcises Lucifer and saves Cas - FOR Dean.  Amara’s just a Dean girl, everyone.   And we know Dean girls protect Cas at all costs.

Yup.  Amara Dean Girl Darkness Heller.  

That’s it.  That’s the dissertation.

See you in Season 12, where I will attempt to figure out the reason behind the British Men of Letters, killing Hitler, the brain melt that is Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox, the comedy of errors that is Cas playing Dean hot and cold, and the Mary Winchester of it all. 

[infernwetrust]

Dive [Duncan Shepherd x Jim Mason]

Summary: Duncan joins Jim and Medina on their yearly visit to Palos Verdes, where things get a little heated.

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, mentions of drug use, emotional, a little bit o’ violence

WC: 2.3k

A/N: I rewatched Tribes of Palos Verdes today and I am not okay :’). Had to quote Jim at the end because it fit so well and I almost cried again. Desperately wanted Jim to have a happy ending. Part of my little Duncan x Jim series that can be found on my master list, here. Thank you for reading! -Juno

GIF by kaetastic

Music blasted through the RV that they had rented for their road trip. Duncan bobbed his head lightly to the music, hand tapping away at the steering wheel as he drove. In the passenger seat was Jim, hand placed on Duncan's thigh, thumb rubbing small circles with his thumb. Jim peaked his head around the headrest, checking on his sister and her boyfriend who were peacefully asleep, cuddled up together. They had both decided that they still wanted absolutely nothing to do with their parents, hence the renting of the RV. They didn't even know they were coming. Plus, with their love the beach and surfing, Duncan thought it would be good to just park the RV in one of those special RV Parks near the beach.

"So this is PV, huh?" Duncan asked, turning his head to look at Jim for a few moments as they passed the Welcome to Palos Verdes sign. His eyes quickly scanned his surroundings. They had made it just in time before the sun started setting. He knew how bad Jim would want to go the beach once they got there, so he made it a point to leave LA when they did.

"Mhmmm." Jim said, squeezing his thigh a little bit. "A place full of horrible memories." Jim sighed before removing his hand from Duncan's thigh, running it through his hair before looking out the window at the all too familiar place he once called home. It didn't even feel like home. This was the one time of year that he dreaded the most. Only once every year, before Duncan and Calvin came along, would Jim and Medina visit PV. Something about remembering their "roots" Medina would always bring up, but with all the pain, Jim could care less. There were beaches close to LA they could spend all day surfing at, but nonetheless, it didn't give some sense of warmth to visit the place that started it all.

"Which is why we're going to make a lot of good memories these next 2 weeks." Duncan said trying to bring him back up. He grabbed Jim's hand, giving his knuckles a kiss. "Right?"

"Right..." Jim mumbled.

"I know you hate doing this every year, ocean eyes and I'm glad that you brought me this year to be apart of it. I know you're hurting and this place is always going to hurt you, but I'm here with you now and I'm going to push all those bad memories away, okay?" Jim looked at Duncan for a moment, chewing down on his bottom lip before returning his attention to looking back outside of the window.

"It'll be just like our little meetups when we first met on one of my business trips, hmmm?" Duncan continued, raising his eyebrow. "Look at me, Jim." Duncan waited until he could feel Jim's eyes on him before he continued speaking.

"How so?" Jim questioned, a little agitated. "Don't try to compare this place to what we had before we started dating. Aside from the beach, this place is fucked up."

"Long walks and conversations on the beach." Duncan continued. "Little food dates at your favorite food shacks around here. I know you have some. All the alcohol we can drink. Tons and tons of wild and nasty beach sex. And if we get lucky, those two will be gone a little bit and I'll get to fuck you senseless in the back of this RV. And I know you think I don't understand Jim, about how you feel about this place, but I do. But I want you to show me, Jim."

"What is there to show you, Duncan, that you don't already know. I was addicted to drugs, is that what you're trying to see? Me on drugs again?"

"I knew you would take it there..." Duncan said underneath his breath.

"Say it with your chest, Dunc." Jim said sarcastically before snatching his hand away from Duncan, his jaw clenched.

"Why do you always get so defensive with me, babe? Of course I'm not trying to see you on drugs again, ocean eyes. What the fuck? Why would you even think of something like that? When I say show me, Jim, I meant show me the beach boy that's lived in Palos Verdes. The beach boy that loves to surf with his sister. The carefree beach boy who loves the feeling of the sand between his toes."

"I-,"

"The beach boy with nicest ass in or out of his wetsuit. The beach boy with the beautiful head of hair, a perfect set of lips, and beautiful eyes I get lost in. The beach boy who can't keep his hands off of me. The beach boy I fell in love with. Y'know? The one with the rocking personality?"

"I'm sorry..." Jim croaked out, regretting getting riled up towards his boyfriend.

"None of that. You have nothing to be sorry about. I just want you to relax this trip, okay? Can you do that for me? Or at least try to? Like I said, show me the Jim before the storm that made him even stronger than he was before."

"Yeah." Jim said, sitting a bit and wiping his face, nodding his head. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

***

When they had arrived at their parking location, everyone wasted no time getting things ready for the beach. Thankfully, Duncan had invested in a cooler with wheels or else the walk would of sucked for whoever was going to have to carry it. They all took the time to change into their wetsuits, taking a group selfie in the process. They had just found a good spot to set all their stuff down, when a familiar voice yelled out for Jim.

"Aye, Jimmy!" the voice yelled again.

"Fuck..." Jim sighed. "They would fucking be here."

"Just keep walking." Medina said, throwing her arm around her brothers shoulder.

"Who is he?" Duncan asked.

"Trouble." Calvin huffed, a previous Bay Boy himself.

"Hey!" the voice yelled again as it got closer, way too fast. And before Jim knew it, he was being shoved forward, out of Medina's grip. "So you leave PV after high school and then show up maybe every once in a while and don't even shoot your old boys a what's up? Shit what are we now? Like 28? 10 whole years man! Don't think we haven't seen you around when you come to visit, Jimmy."

With anger from already being in a bad mood and without thinking, Jim spun around, hand clenched in the tightest fist he could make and punched the breath out of him, the feeling of fresh blood splattering across his knuckles. And when he fell to the floor, Jim took that as opportunity to continue, punches flying.

"Jim!" Duncan yelled, running over to attempt to pull Jim off of the guy. Wrapping both his arms around Jim, he pulled him off in one swift motion, holding onto him as tightly as possible, so that he couldn't break free. Medina joined Duncan's efforts to calm her brother down, whose face was beyond red.

"You just couldn't stay away?" Calvin asked, stepping between the guy and everyone else so that he was at least out of Jim's line of vision.

"Once a Bay Boy, always a Bay Boy." the guy said, standing up and wiping the blood away from his mouth, spitting after. "And he needs to realize that."

"Jim doesn't owe you or the Bay Boys, anything. And neither do I before you say anything else."

"No the problem is you fuckers think you can just leave PV and keep coming back like you still own these waters and then have the nerve to not even check in with us. We let it slide the first couple of times because we really really really like, Jimmy. Until we realized he was avoiding us."

"But you can see why, though. Putting your hands on him and for what?"

"Not my fault Jim's always been a little soft." And behind their conversation, all you could hear was yelling between the 3. Jim finally broke out of Duncan's grip, turning around to shove him in his chest, hard.

"Now you understand, huh?!" Jim yelled. "This is exactly why I hate fucking coming back here! I knew this would fucking happen one year or another!" He looked at Medina too. "Outcast sister and druggie brother return to hell once again, huh?!" Jim shoved Duncan in his chest again, before storming off back towards the RV. Medina called out for him, wanting to follow, but Duncan stopped her. Jim was always so unpredictable when he was angry and if anyone was going to get hurt, it wasn't going to be her. As Jim approached the RV, he looked behind him, seeing that Duncan wasn't trailing too far behind.

"Where are the keys?" he asked as Duncan got closer to him.

"Jim..." Duncan began to say.

"The keys." Jim said again through a clenched jaw, sizing Duncan up. And again with anger and without thinking, he just started grabbing at Duncan, forgetting he was in his wetsuit.

"Stop. Jim. St- STOP." Duncan growled, grabbing Jim by his arms and slamming him up against the side of the RV. Luckily they were out of eyeshot for no one to see.

"Give me the fucking keys." Jim said. "Don't make me hurt you.

"You wanna hurt me, Jim?!" Duncan asked, raising his voice. "Huh?! Will it make you feel better?!"

"I'd probably feel better if I was laid out on the beach d-,"

"Finish that sentence. I dare you." Duncan stepped up to Jim once again, getting in his face. Jim looked up at Duncan who in this moment, towered him. His lip quivered and the tears began falling. "I get it, Jim."

"No. You don't. Stop saying you do because you never will. You've never had to deal with this place, Duncan. Open your fucking eyes for once."

"My eyes have been open, Jim. I haven't lived through this hell, but I've lived through my own hell. You wanna know the difference about my hell and yours? You got the chance to escape, Jim. I spent my entire life, until I met you, in DC Jim. I was lied to, Jim. I've been hurt by people I thought cared about me too, Jim. And I'm not saying that my life was ANY worse than yours, but DON'T tell me that I don't fucking get it."

"And I want to understand you more, Jim, but you keep shutting me the fuck out." Duncan continued, his voice cracking. "You can't keep running away every time, Jim. Whether it be in situations like this or when we argue. I made a promise to you that I would always be here, no matter what and I've been here, Jim."

"I know..." Jim said, shaking his head. "Don't you think I know? But what's the point of continuing to visit when there is nothing out here for us anymore? This place ruined me, Duncan. My random depressive episodes, my anger outbursts, days where I just want to be left alone? I wasn't like that before everything. My teenage years were robbed from me and I'll never get those moments back. It's so easy to run and that's exactly what Medina and I did when we just left and moved to LA. We ran. We told nobody. Our parents couldn't do anything because we waited until we were of age."

Duncan sighed, resting his forehead against Jim's. He could feel the heat radiating off of Jim's body due to anger, but also from the comfort of having Duncan so close to him. Even when they had their arguments back home in LA and Jim would start throwing things or shoving Duncan away, when Duncan did manage to get close, Jim melted. Amongst all his rage, Duncan always made him feel like he was floating.

"Why does it have to be all bad?" Duncan questioned, his eyes closed, nose pressed against Jim's. "Yes, you will never get those moments back, ever. You're right. But what's stopping you from creating those moments now? We're still young right? Like you tell me all the time. We can still do all those things, Jim. You, Medina, me, and Calvin. We can turn this ugly place into something beautiful."

"You always know what to say to me, huh?"

"I'm being serious. The past is always going to be the past and you can't do anything to change it. You can only embrace it and accept that it's apart of you. But what you can do, is not let it drive you back into the ground. You did drugs, Jim. You drank like crazy, Jim. So what? You don't now. And you're glowing. Fucking glowed so bright when I first saw you. I won't let you slip away, Jim. I love you so much."

"Jim..." Medina called out, poking her head around the side of the RV. "Sorry, I know you didn't want me to follow, but I- I-, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry, Jim. I'm sorry I keep dragging you here. I'm sorry. I was just trying-,"

Jim stepped away from Duncan, walking over to his sister to wrap her in a warm hug as she burst into tears, the both of them stumbling to their knees as they continued to hold each other. He wasn't mad at her. He wasn't mad at Duncan either.

"I think about what you said a lot." Jim began. "About sticking with your tribe? We're our own tribe. It's what you said. We don't need anyone else. Right?"

"Right." she croaked, barely above a whisper as she held him tighter.

"And we're going to turn this ugly place into something beautiful." Jim spoke again, turning around to look at Duncan, his own tears falling. "It's what you said. Right?"

"Right." Duncan answered, giving Jim a small smile.

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid @9layerdevilfoodcake  @xavierplympton @guiltyfiend @mikhalxngdon​ @theneverendinghunger​

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Meant To Be: Part 6

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drug use, smut

Word Count: 3,253

A/N: Y’all can thank @wings-of-a-raven for this one….

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright close…”

“Colson, I am not closing my fucking eyes with the baby in my arms.” You snapped before he could even finish as you headed toward the front door with a shake of your head.

“Do you have any fucking idea how much of a buzz kill you are sometimes, bitch?” He asked as he stopped at the door. “Alright, so I called some people… and I hope it all works for you ‘cause I didn’t know what the fuck half the shit was.”

“What did you do, Colson?” You sighed as you hiked Gage up on your hip a bit more and quickly caught his hand before he could pull on your hair while he babbled away.

“I fixed it.” He said with a shrug as he pushed the front door open and stepped inside. You instantly noticed the stair case, which now had plexiglass along the banisters, and a decorative baby gate at the top and the bottom that matched the black wrought iron, perfectly.

“Babe.”

“You wanted a medium.” He said with a shrug. “I mediumed.” Your head bobbed slowly as he turned you to lead you toward the living room, where some of the crew were hanging out along with a woman you hadn’t seen in almost two years.

“Sawyer!” You cried, making her whip around toward you, sending her half black, half red hair flying in an arch behind her.

“You’re here!” She screeched as she jumped to her feet and handed Slim the joint in her fingers, that you realized you hadn’t smelled the way you normally did when you stepped into the house. “Did he tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You asked as you gave her a one armed hug, but Kels quickly pulled you away.

“Not there yet.” He said as he pulled you a couple steps over toward the entertainment center. “Look, straps and shit so it don’t fucking fall, drawer locks that apparently keep JP at bay, too.”

“Hey!” Rook shouted from the couch as the rest of the group taunted him.

“We got these things.” Kels continued as he tapped a knee high box beside you with his toe. “Air purifiers or some shit. Dude said they were the quietest shit on the market so each room’s got one.” Your heart melted as he brought you around each room of the house, showing off every little thing he had had done to ensure that Gage was absolutely safe in the typically wild household. Every door handle and outlet had a cover, every drawer was latched closed. He even went as far as making sure there was a table that was about five feet tall and had a four inch plexiglass lip around the edge to ‘keep the drugs in one spot.’

“Colson.” You said as you looked over at him with a stunned expression as you tried to come up with the words.

“Not done.” He said as he spun you back toward the stairs. “So as you saw, Rook got moved.” He started as he held the gate open for you. “And let me tell you, fixing up his damn room cost me an arm and a fucking leg. But… Gage now has his own room.”

“Jesus.” You gasped as you walked in and looked around the ‘rockstar’ room that you were honestly a little jealous of. “How the fuck did you do all this?”

“Text messages and phone calls when you were napping.” He said as he shut the door and sent someone a text. Your brow furrowed and you looked over at him while setting Gage down to play as the floor beneath your feet started to vibrate the slightest bit. “Sound proof.” He said as he pointed up to a camera above the door, one in the far corner facing the crib and the door, and one on the crib facing the bed. 

“Baby monitors. So you can have fun and keep an eye on him at the same time. And Sawyer has agreed to be our nanny of sorts for the low, low price of rooming with Rook, some first class seats around the world, and some weed as payment. I’m working on fixing up the bus so you guys can come with me to fest and when we go on tour here in the states next year after we all go to Europe and…” His thought was cut off as you cupped his jaw in your hands and kissed him with tears in your eyes. He smiled against your lips and slid his arms around your waist as the tension he was carrying in his shoulders slipped away. 

“Thank you.” You whispered when you pulled away to rest your forehead against his. “Baby…”

“You two belong here.” He said softly as he carded his fingers through your hair. “Not in your own fucking place. Not out of my fucking arms. I won’t fucking lose you again, baby girl. I won’t make it…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered as you pulled back to search his eyes. “We’re a family. We’re here, together.”

“Fuck yes we are.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.” You sang loudly, changing the lyrics to ‘All The Small Things’ by Blink 182 the slightest bit since you were feeding your 10 month old a banana for dinner. “Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.” Gage squealed, took the cut up piece of banana out of your fingers and shoved it in his mouth, completely ignoring the last few pieces of shredded chicken and rigatoni on his high chair tray for your much more entertaining food of choice. “Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!” You screamed as you threw your hands up and danced in a circle in the rented RV, until your eyes landed on a cell phone and the person that was holding it in the doorway.

“So this is the fun I’m missing out on.” Colson teased. “Well fuck, baby. I wanna join!”

“Well here’s the ba-na-na-na.” You laughed as you handed your boyfriend the banana and the knife. “Small bites. I’m gunna finish getting ready…”

“Late night! Come home!” Kels said over you in a forced horse tone as he handed Gage the next bite while head banging to the music on your phone. With a giant smile, you headed back into the bedroom and pulled off his shirt to reveal your fest outfit that was thankfully banana and pasta sauce free thanks to your mock apron. Your head bobbed the slightest bit as you double checked your hair was still messily decent before grabbing your Doc Martens and heading back out toward the bathroom.

“The fuck is that?” Kels demanded as he almost instantly stopped dancing and stood up straight to look at you. “Oh no. Fuck no, you’re not wearing that!” You stopped dead in your tracks and cocked your eyebrow at him before slowly looking down at your outfit.

“You’re really gunna fucking say that to me.” You said simply as you looked back up at him, pointedly.

“Yea, cause you look like a stripper… is that my shirt?”

“Not any more.” You hissed as you stepped into the bathroom.

“Babe, you’re a fucking mother!” Colson shouted as he handed Gage a slice of banana and stormed over toward the bathroom where you were starting to do your makeup.

“And what, a mother can’t wear a cut off shirt and…”

“And fucking underwear!? You’re wearing fishnets and a fucking garter belt…”

“And what, you think you can tell me what to wear again all of a sudden, asshole?” You snapped as you turned and shoved him out of the bathroom and into the wall.

“Yea, when you dress like that!” You took a step back and popped your jaw in aggravation.

“OK.” You said with a nod as you tossed your makeup on the counter and grabbed the edge of his shirt, which you had cut up and tied to the point where it barely covered your breasts. “Here, I’ll just go like this.”

“The fuck you are!” He shouted even louder as he looked at the XX tape that you had strategically placed over your nipples before he saw the back of the high waisted bathing suit bottoms you had on that left little to the imagination. “WHAT THE FUCK, HOE?!”

“Come on, baby boy.” You cooed with a smile as you pulled the tray off the high chair and set it on the table since he was done eating anyways. “You and your slutty Mommy are going home because I am not putting up with this shit again.”

“No… fuck. OK, wait, hold on.” Colson said as he quickly ran around you and stood in front of the door. “OK, you win.”

“It’s not about fucking winning, Kels.” You sighed as you pulled some chicken out of Gage’s hair. “I’m my own fucking person and I make my own fucking decisions, right? Which means, that at my age, I can discern what is appropriate to wear to a fucking music festival, where I do not have my son with me, and where I’m going to be doing drugs for hours on end while someone else parents for the night. So yea, mama’s gunna be a fucking skank for the night. Mama’s gunna get fucking drunk in the skimpiest outfit she can because I fucking can. 

And if you don’t fucking like it, you can stay here with our son and give Sawyer the night off of nannying and editing books and shit to party with me. Or, you can shut the fuck up about what I’m fucking wearing, give your fucking son a bath, and come get fucked up with me. Appreciate the fact that your baby mama still fucking has it and appreciate the fact that you’re the one tapping this ass. Bath time, baby boy.” You leaned forward and kissed the slightly annoyed look off Colson's face and passed him Gage with a huge smirk. “Tell me what to fucking wear again, and there will be no discussion. I’ll just punch you in the fucking throat.”

“Bitch, I fucking dare you.” He growled as he stood where he was and looked at your only partially covered ass. “You do look hot as fuck, though.”

“I know!” You called out over your shoulder as you grabbed your shirt off the floor and stepped back into the bathroom to do your make up. “Bath, Colson. I wanna get fucked up with my pain in the ass, control freak baby daddy.”

——

The music in the dome was so loud, it was almost literally rattling your bones, but you welcomed it with open arms. Your heated skin was covered with a sheen of sweat as you danced, mesmerized by the strobing colorful lights that were flashing in a random pattern across the white tent and PVC pipes that created the structure. Colson’s fingers traced your side like a feather, creating electric tingles trail in their path, as you danced with Ashleigh with your ass on his hip. You knew, just by the way he subtly shifted away then toward you and 

by the way his fingers would grip your hip periodically as you danced, you were driving him crazy, but he was still acting like ‘Kels’ and not the ‘Colson’ you wanted.

“Colson.” You whined as you turned and pressed up against his bare chest between songs, distracting him from whatever it was that he was saying to the crowd about some movie you didn’t care about. “I need you to please, PLEASE bend me over fucking anything and make me forget my own name. Please Daddy…”

“Movie now.” He said a little quickly as he pushed you past him toward the stairs. “I’ll be out in tent city later on. Diaper duty and shit…”

“Colson!” You hissed from the bottom of the stairs because he was taking too long.

“Fuck you, I’m coming.” He barked as he passed the mic off to Mod without a second glance. You grabbed the edge of your shirt and playfully pulled it up in the darkness behind the tent, which made Colson growl at you as he stepped out behind the tent. “Just fuckin’ asking for trouble.”

“So worth it.” You yelped as he picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder like a rag doll, which simply turned you on even more. You whined and slid your hands down his back to grab his ass as he headed down the short row of RVs. He retaliated by slapping your ass and thigh as hard as he could a couple times, guaranteeing that you would not be able to dress so risqué the next day.

“Show everyone whose ass this is.” He growled as he yanked the door to your RV open, startling Sawyer who was sitting at the table, working.

“And that’s my cue.” She said quickly as she gathered all her things and leapt to her feet.

“Thanks Soy.” You said from your upside spot with a small smirk and wave. “Got him from here.” She nodded her head, tossed her work on the bed above the drivers seat where she and JP were ‘sleeping’ and glanced into the pack and play that was set up in front of the couch before hurrying out the door to go party for a while. You squealed as quietly as you could when you were tossed on the bed and smirked up at the love of your life.

“You’re in so much fucking trouble, bitch.” Colson growled as he put one knee on the bed and reached up to snap the strap holding your fishnets up against your inner thigh. “Fuck… you are one sexy mother fucker, babe.”

“Why are you talking?” You asked as you used the edge of the bed to kick off your boots. “Daddy, please…”

“Say it again.” He groaned as he quickly pulled his jeans and boxers off and tossed them to the side. 

“Daddy.” You cooed with a smile as you took off your shirt and tossed it to the side.

“Fuck, I missed that. No, fucking leave ‘em.” He said as he whacked your hands before you could pull off the tape on your nipples. “You’re in fucking trouble. Making me watch men stare at your ass all night long. And then you started fucking dancing.” You whined and squirmed on the blankets as he snapped the other side before quickly bending down to bite the red spot he had made. Your whine caught in your throat as he scraped his nails down the back of your thigh, knowing you loved the pain as much as he did.

“Colson please…”

“Fuck you.” He barked as he snapped the strap again. “Teasing me all night.”

“I’m gunna fucking kill you if you don’t…” You yelped as he quickly reached up and ripped off one of the strips of tape before covering your mouth with his hand.

“Bitch, I fucking dare you to try to act like the fucking boss here.” He said, as he fit his hips between your thighs. “We both know I’m the fucking boss between these thighs. Isn’t that right, bitch?” You nodded your head and squeaked again as he popped the straps once more before he pushed your bottoms to the side and pushed himself in. Your jaw dropped and you cringed when he scratched the back of your thighs harder while hiking your legs up on his hips.

“No foreplay at all here, huh?”

“You had plenty of fucking foreplay on the fucking dance floor.” He said as he leaned down and kissed you roughly. “And I don’t think you can not wake up Gage if I go down on you…”

“Fine just shut up and fuck me.” 

“Getting fucking bossy again.” He cooed with a devilish smirk as he spanked the side of your thigh and your ass. “Daddy’s not liking the…”

“He’s gunna be really fucking pissed if he doesn’t fucking fuck me.” You groaned as you tried to roll your hips against his, but with the way he was laying, you couldn’t move much at all.

“Oh, no…” He tisked with a shake of his hand as he dug his nails into your left thigh with one hand and placed his other on your throat. “Who’s the fucking boss?”

“No.” You said, daringly as you grabbed his wrist with both hands, begging him with your eyes alone to give you more than the torture he was giving out currently. “Please…”

“Who’s the fucking boss?” He growled lowly as he leaned forward so that his mouth was right beside your ear. His grip tightened around your throat and your whole body tensed. “Answer me.”

“Daddy…” You whispered as you moved your hand to cup his jaw so you could gently push his face above yours. “Daddy, please.”

“Tell me, baby.” He said as he searched your eyes, loosened his grip for a moment, and steadily started to pick up his pace. “Who’s your fucking Daddy.”

“You.” You gasped between gasps as you tangled your fingers in his sweat dampened hair. “Only you.”

“Damn fucking right.” He said with a giant smirk as he pulled your leg up on his hip more so he could pick up a bruising pace. You nodded your head and stretched so that you could capture his lips to conceal your moans. Colson molded you like putty, taking his time to add bursts of pain to your pleasure with the garter belt straps and the tape on your chest, just as you did every time you clawed at his shoulders and back, needing him closer and deeper.

“Baby please.” You begged when you hit the edge you needed to sail over.

“Stay there, baby girl. I’m almost there.” You nodded your head and slid your hand down his back to just above his perfect ass.

“Come with me.” You whispered as you dragged your nails across his tats, which made him him tighten his grip on your throat even more.

“Fuck yes…” He growled out as he found your clit with his thumb and threw you over the edge.  Your whole body tensed and your fingers and toes curled as he buried himself deep and came with you. He let his grip on your throat go and buried his face in your hair to muffle his swearing as you took a deep, shuddering breath and slid your arms around his back.

“Damn, baby.” You sighed as he pulled out of you but rolled you both on your sides. “Fucking love you.”

“Fucking love you.” He huffed with a smile as he tilted your chin to look at the handprint he almost purposely left on your throat. You can see the satisfied smirk playing behind his eyes as he brushed his thumb across the forming bruise as the lie formed on his lips. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” You giggled as you unsnapped your garter belt from your fishnets to take them off. “You stayin’ with me and the baby or are you going back out?”

“Probably gunna smoke a joint with you, and go out to tent city for a bit.” He sighed as he rolled onto his back to find his jeans.

“OK just help me move the play pen in here before you go so that Rook and Sawyer don’t wake up Gage.”

“Will do, baby.”

Part 7

[benaffleckofcrowdsurfing]

Lazerquest - part 5

Alex Turner x Reader

Chapter 5/?

Description: you are an impulsive bartender who recently moved to London after traveling across the United States and living on the road for a few years. You befriend Alex, a musician who recently got out of a long term relationship, and you show him the ways of your free-spirited lifestyle in an attempt to help him move on from his ex. However, you become more of a muse than a friend for Alex and all is revealed when he releases his band’s fourth studio album, “Suck it and See”.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: a bit of sexual harassment, nothing intense but it could definitely be uncomfortable

Tag list (msg me if you would like to be added):

@lolurnotmileskane @imagine-that-100 @babyhoneystvles

Updates whenever the heck I please (at least once a week) 

Author’s note: I’m sorry it’s been like a week I’ve been so uninspired but I feel a bit better now so woooooo hopefully I’ll be updating more.

**************

“Just go commando, Turner. It’s not my fault you don’t keep extra undergarments in your car.”

“Fuckin’ hell, and my trousers are sandy.”

“You’re being a massive pussy.”

“Well I’m sorry Ms. Spontaneous, I had no idea we would be swimming in our knickers and then going out to get pissed tonight. I would’ve brought a change of clothes.”

“Oh, shut up Alex. You know you enjoyed seeing me practically naked.”

“Never said I didn’t.”

You gave Alex a warning glare before turning into the bathroom of the seedy motel room the two of you had decided to rent for the night. After your little ocean underwear rendezvous, you both sat your soggy asses in the Porsche and drove back into a little village Alex knew about. On the way back you told him about the scheme you had been conjuring up for the rest of your night, and after you said the words “absolutely shitfaced”, he told you that he would find a hotel. 

Alex was thrilled to go to a bar and drink with you at first, but when he came to the realization that he would have to go in his street clothes, he became a bit more apprehensive. You, on the other hand, were thrilled that you had an excuse to wear your new dress. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled. As fit as you looked in the dress, the lack of bra underneath made it look a tad bit slutty and you were getting nervous about not having anything to wear underneath. Before returning from the small bathroom, you did your best to fix your makeup and then dried your hair with the basically ancient blow dryer that resided next to the faded vanity mirror above the sink.

“Alright, Al. I’ve got a job for you,” you announced after exiting the bathroom and going to sit next to Alex on the old queen bed that inhabited the hotel room. 

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Make sure I don’t flash the entire pub tonight.”

Alex shook his head in disappointment and chuckled. He was stood by the door in the same thing he had been wearing previously, putting on his shoes. “You know, you could just wear the clothes you had on this morning.”

“What’s the fun in that?” you frowned. He was right, shorts would be a much safer choice, especially considering the fact that your only objective tonight was to get faded. You just thought your new dress looked really good on you, and you’d have been lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want a little male attention. Not from Alex, of course, you had plans to get him a bit of a one night stand tonight. (it would be good for him, you thought. Help him take his mind off of Alexa some more.)

Alex rolled his eyes at you. “Are you ready? I want to get this show on the road.”

You stood up cheerfully and nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go get you fucked up.”

Alex looked you up and down as he opened the door of the room and put the key back in his pocket. “I have a feeling I won’t be the only one getting ‘fucked up’ tonight, Y/N.” 

****************

“Alright, Y/N. What kind of twisted drinking game have you got planned for us tonight.” 

You and Alex were sat at the bar of a rather small but busy pub. The music was loud, the people were rowdy, and the drinks were shit. It was perfect.

You gasped dramatically. “Wow, Alex. You really thought I had some premeditated plan to get you absolutely trashed? I’m hurt.” 

Alex narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows. “I may have only met you twenty-four hours ago, but I know you well enough to know that you aren’t just gonna let me off with a few margaritas.”

You smiled at him slyly. “Touché. I do have one or two things up my sleeve.”

“Evil genius, you are.”

You winked at him before ushering the bartender over. She was an attractive woman, and you had noticed her checking out Alex when the two of you had walked into the pub. 

“What can I get for you, Loves?” The woman asked. She had a thick Scottish accent and was making direct eye contact with Alex.

“I see you’re checking out my friend here,” you giggled. The bartender, who’s name tag read Helen, gave you a glare. “Listen, Helen. It’s not a bad thing, he’s quite the catch. You can have your shot with him all you want, I just have a few questions first.” 

Helen furrowed her brows in confusion. Alex gave you a wild look, one that said what the hell are you up to? 

“So what do you say, Helen? You up for it or are you just gonna stand there looking at me like I'm crazy?”

Helen shook her head a bit and cleared her throat. “Sure, Lady. But if they’re personal or weird I’m throwing you out.” 

You let out a breathy laugh. “Not to worry, it’s nothing too weird. I was just going to ask you to rate my friend out of 10.”

Alex nearly choked on his spit. “What?”

Helen laughed. “Well I’m not sure why it’s important, but he’s definitely a 9.”

You smiled smugly. Perfect. Fantastic choice, Helen. “Alright, now what would you rate me? Objectively of course, it doesn’t matter if I’m ‘your type’ if you know what I mean.”

Helen looked at you with narrow eyes for a long time, as if she was deep in thought. “You’re a fit young lass, but you’ve got small tits and that dress is about 2 inches too short. You look like an Austin Powers themed hooker.” Alex erupted into laughter and you punched him in the shoulder. Helen let out a long sigh before tapping on the bar. “I’d say you’re a 7.” 

As offended as you were that the busty bitch only thought you were a 7, her answer worked completely in favor of your plan. “Alright. I’ve got one more question for you, then we’ll let you get back to work.”

Helen nodded. “Go on, then.” 

You gave her a toothy grin. “What’s your favorite drink?”

You could hear Alex scoff from next to you. He knew exactly where this was going. 

“I love a good rum swizzle, but my favorite to make here are brambles.”

You chuckled and turned to Alex, who had his face in his palms and was swearing under his breath. “Alex, pick your poison.”

Alex gave you a death glare and reluctantly looked at Helen. “I guess I’ll have…. nine brambles.”

You giggled and clapped your hands victoriously. “And I’ll take seven rum swizzles, Helen. Thank you so much for your help.” 

The poor bartender gave you both confused looks before turning around to make your drinks. Alex looked like he wanted to slap you. “You’re absolutely mad. We’ll both be blacked out in like, half an hour. Are you trying to kill us?” 

You just winked at Alex and smiled at Helen when she gave the two of you your first drinks. “Keep ‘em coming, ma’am. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” 

Alex sighed and raised his glass to yours. “Cheers, psycho. If I die tonight it’s on your conscience.”

As the two of you took the first well….gulps...of your drinks, a familiar song began sounding through the club. Alex’s face immediately dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You gasped. You knew exactly what song was playing. “Isn’t this-?”

Alex cut you off. “It’s me. Yeah.”

You squealed in excitement and finished the rest of your first drink and gulped down your second before narrowing your eyes at the grumpy boy sat next to you. “You better finish your drink, Al. We’ve got some dancing to do.”

“Absolutely not. There’s no way I’m dancing to my own bloody song.” 

“Well then I’m going alone.” 

You blew a raspberry at Alex before skipping onto the dance floor. Alex shook his head at you and crossed his arms. Once near the center of the dance floor but still close enough that you could see Alex, you began to move your hips to the beat of the song. As it picked up, you threw your head back and your arms in the air. In just moments you were dancing and singing your heart out, the few drinks you had previously consumed definitely contributing to your looseness. You stared directly at Alex when the chorus came around. 

Oh the boy’s a slag, 

the best you’ve ever had,

the best you ever had is just a memory 

you pointed to Alex and waved him to join you. He reluctantly finished the rest of his drink, and before he could even stand up you had ran back to him and grabbed his hand to drag him back with you. Alex looked mortified, he absolutely could not believe he was in the middle of the dance floor with you, drunkenly dancing to his own music. You found it extremely fun, though, and just kept on spinning yourself with him and doing your best to make him dance. 

flicking through a little book of sex tips

You flipped your hair and dropped to the floor seductively.

remember when the boys were all electric

 you raised yourself back up and winked at Alex.

now when she’s told she’s gonna get it

I’m guessing she’d rather just forget it

You rolled your hips to the beat and swayed your head from side to side. 

As annoyed Alex was that you had dragged him into the crowd, he seemed thoroughly entertained by your dancing. A small part of you thought he might have been even more entertained knowing that you were enjoying yourself this much to his song. 

You continued to dance around Alex, the alcohol in your system making you a bit flirty. By the end of the song, Alex had actually began dancing and the two of you had quite a bit of fun.

“That was fantastic, Alex, but you’ve got 8 more drinks to go, and I’ve got 6 and a half. So we best get back to the bar.” You tisked. 

“Damn. I thought you might have forgotten about that.” Alex muttered as you both sat back in your seats. Helen immediately chuckled and placed your next drinks in front of you. 

After three more drinks were in the both of you, you decided to start your next little game. 

“Hey, Alex,” you murmured.

Alex gave you a goofy smile. He was definitely already drunk. “hmm?” 

“There’s a girl behind you checking you out.” 

“Which one?”

“The blonde with the tits.”

“She’s pretty fit, right?”

“You should go talk to her.”

“I don’t want to leave you here all alone, Y/N.”

“I was gonna go talk to the tall one over there.”

“He’s been looking at you all night.”

“I’m aware. He’s not being very sly.”

“It’s a bit creepy.”

“I don’t mind. So you’re gonna go talk to the girl or what?” 

“Should I?”

You gave Alex an evil little smirk and his eyes widened. “I know how to make it more interesting.”

“Oh boy. Let me finish another drink now to prepare myself.” Alex poured the rest of his drink down his throat and cracked his neck as if to say game on. “What have you got for me, Y/L/N?”

“Alright. I go talk to skyscraper over there, you go talk to sugar tits. If one of us can get a hook up, the other has to buy them breakfast tomorrow morning.” 

Alex chuckled. “May the sluttiest one win.”

You finished your drink and asked Helen for another (you were now on your sixth of the night and were quite drunk), before strutting over to your tall mystery admirer.

“I was hoping you’d come talk to me,” the man said as you approached him.

“I thought you might, I've been watching you watch me for quite a bit,” You took a sip of your drink and winked at him. 

“What can I say, I like what I see. I’m Alex.”

You choked on your drink. “I’m sorry, your name is what?”

“Alex. And you are?”

You bit your lip to keep from bursting out in laughter. Of course his name is Alex. After taking a moment to compose yourself, you spoke up. “Y/N.”

“Y/N, that’s a pretty name. You’re American, aren’t you?” New Alex slurred. At least he’s as drunk as I am, you thought.

“Born and raised in the states.” 

“You know I’ve never shagged an American girl before,” New Alex purred. He took a step closer to you, and you looked up at him innocently.

“Oh, really?” Your voice was quiet now, he was very close to you and his presence was a bit overwhelming. You could smell his cologne, his whiskey, and his cigarette smoke. 

When you glanced back at Your Alex, he was staring past the blonde and right at you.

“Willing to help me change that?” The man in front of you bent down to whisper in your ear. It gave you goosebumps, but not a good kind. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something wasn’t quite right. 

“Feeling bold, are we?” you stuttered, now feeling a little more uncomfortable as he continued to get closer to you. 

“Is that a problem?” You could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“I’m not sure.” 

“Should I make you sure?” Alex now had his body pressed against yours and your back pressed against the table behind you, there was no chance at escape. You looked over at Alex, who was still watching you, and gave him a look of distress. He quickly dismissed the blonde, handed dear old Helen some cash, and rushed over to you.

“Y/N, we gotta go. The taxi’s here.” He announced.

New Alex grunted. “Who the fuck is this guy?”

“Alex, this is Alex. Alex, Alex.” You muttered quickly, and squeezed out from between the table and the large man. “I’m sorry to cut our conversation so short, but we really have to get going. Hope you find another American girl to have sex with soon!”

Alex dragged you away from New Alex and the two of you practically ran out of the pub.

“Are you alright? Did he touch you? Did he say something? Do I need to go back in there and kick his arse? Please tell me you’re okay. I told you he was creepy, Y/N.” Alex rambled, and put both of his hands on your shoulders. 

You brushed him off and put your hand on his cheek in reassurance. “I’m alright, Alex. He was just being a bit pushy and I was uncomfortable. Thank you so much for helping me out of that situation.”

“Of course, Y/N. You’re far more important to me than a shag. That girl was uninteresting anyway. I’d much rather be with you.” 

You smiled at Alex and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a sweet boy. Come on, let’s go back to the room. That shitty mattress is calling my name.”

**********

Back at the hotel, both you and Alex decided that it was time to sleep. Your undergarments had all dried, so the two of you had something semi-normal to sleep in, and after getting ready for bed you turned to face Alex. He was already curled up on the left side of the bed.

“I had fun tonight, Al.”

“I did too, Y/N/N.”

You placed a platonic kiss on his forehead before slipping into the bed next to him and turning out the lights. You did your best to warm yourself up under the covers, but you were still freezing.

“Y/N, you’re shivering,” Alex yawned.

“I’ll be okay, just go to sleep,” you cooed and rubbed his bare back. He let out a long exhale at the gesture, which made you blush.

“Do you want my tee shirt? It won’t help much but it’s better than just that lacy number you have on.”

Alex’s words send shivers down your spine. The thought of being in a hotel room with Alex Turner, in the same bed as him, in his shirt, made you hot to the touch.

“Sure, Alex. Thank you.” You whispered. He sat up, reached over onto the floor to pick the shirt up, and smiled weakly when he handed it to you. You slipped it on over your head and giggled. Its smell was intoxicating, it’s as if you were wearing Alex Turner. “I feel much better.”

When you looked up at Alex, he had a stupid smirk on his face. His eyes were different than usual, more dark and intense. He was staring you up and down, but diverted his eyes when he caught you looking. “Oh- It’s no problem, I wasn’t going to wear it and I don’t want you shivering and keeping me up all night.”

“Right. Good night, Alex.” You yawned, and snuggled back into the bed.

“Good night, Y/N.”