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miko-magica · 2 years ago

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I just want your love.

♡ - Synopsis : In which teen Diluc falls inlove yet he isn't sure how to express his feelings, making it so that it comes off as if he dislikes you. // Takes place before Crepus' passing.

♡ - Note : Inspired by my 3 am thoughts !! (no joke it's literally three am lord help me)| This was originally supposed to be fluffy and cute like my other fics but I still don't have Diluc and I'm almost ar 60 so :(

"Hey! How'd your mission go? I heard you had to do it with Diluc" Kaeya said while putting an arm around your shoulder " Yes.. he was a bit rude. Maybe he just doesn't like me, I've heard he wasn't fond of new people.. but we've known eachother even as children." You say with a chuckle trying not to sound offensive towards Kaeya.

"Huh, Rude you say? I mean he's occasionally harsh here and there but rude? Care to give an example?" He said removing his arm around your neck while tilting his head and crossing his arms "Well, for starters.. he started saying quite rude things to me earlier such as; You're gross, You're insufferable or even swearing at me sometimes. I feel like I already have small to no chances of even being friends with him ever again, he's changed ever since I came back from Liyue. "

Kaeya let out a chuckle "Oh, Diluc. He just isn't good with these things but... Trust me he still likes you." He continued as he pats your shoulder then walks away "I'm pretty sure the last time he talked about you was him saying he wanted to be with you everyday, I don't think he hates you one bit .. you're both so dense." He whispered— barely audible, you couldn't hear him properly yet you managed to make out the words " hates and dense "

—

"You're so bad at making a move aren't you, Diluc." Kaeya asks with a sarcastic tone, Diluc turns his head towards his brother "...What do you mean?" He asks with a confused face even though he seems to know what Kaeya meant "Hm really? Your 'insufferable' knight? No?"

His face flushes,almost as if his face replicated his hair but his eyes were also filled with panic " Ah.. so what— They ARE insufferable—! I mean they almost got hurt and they still went for the kill how stupid! I.." he didn't finish his sentence and sighed heavily

"Already having fights? I thought we agreed in 'no fighting' when you became a knight." Crepus' voice scared the two boys who quickly faced their father. "Oh if it was a fight then I would've told you father—" Diluc starts " —But he's inlove" Kaeya cuts Diluc off with an energetic tone

With a quite shocked face, Crepus chuckles to himself "..Then you really shouldn't be saying those things if you're inlove with them. You might push them away Diluc." He sighs " No— I don't like them! Father..." Diluc retorts with his face heating up ever more slightly

"Young master Diluc? Your friend is here! They're looking for you. It seems quite important." Adelinde interrupts their conversation while Diluc nodded and excused himself

"Ah.." if it wasn't the person he was all flustered over, the person who he sees in the midst of the crowd— despite the commotion; your voice is the only thing he hears. " I brought you some of my cooking, I wanted to apologize for troubling you earlier in our mission. I know it was a foolish move, thank you for saving me, Diluc." You say with a gentle smile which he seemed to despise— but in his eyes you were more than beautiful, his brows furrowed even more trying to conceal his redness and embarrassment.

"..is something wrong? If you don't want it maybe Kaeya and Master Crepus would enjoy it? Apologies I wasn't really sure if this is still your favorite food, I remember you saying it was your favorite food a long time ago—" he takes the meal from your hands and opens his mouth to talk but no words escaped his mouth, he could barely utter a word Infront of you when your eyes shone perfectly with the sunset. With no further warning he nodded slightly and shut the door in your face.

He leaned on the door, the food against his chest with his face redder than his hair and his heart beating out of his chest. Adelinde was about to tell him how rude it was to shut the door in your face but Crepus and Kaeya stopped her, the three watched the redhead unable to muster up a word enough to thank you for your gift but he also felt bad for making you feel as if you were a burden and that an apology was in order, he opens the door quickly again only to see that you've wandered off.

A week passed and Diluc never really approached you, he avoided all contact with you. Sometimes you'd get a good look at him and feel like he doesn't really hate you, that he somehow has at the very least affection or liking for you, but that was nothing but delusion in your eyes, he avoided every single interaction. He acted as if he hated you, your guts, you as a person and no matter how much Kaeya reassures you that you're liked by Diluc in some way, he still makes you feel as if he's disgusted by the thought of you.

Your last mission with him came, Kaeya and Diluc became your partner for your mission. It was clearing out a camp of abyss mages. They've gathered up in one place and it has become a very huge inconvenience to people. You came to the scene and with ease, they were dealt with. Or was it? There was barely anything audible to you, you felt as if the man you have always adored saw you as a disgusting person— hell, he probably sees you as those type of people who throw themselves at him for his money and fame.

Going back to the headquarters, Kaeya had a lot to say, he tried to make you two talk. He tried to make Diluc muster up any bit of compliment just to keep your eyes bright like before. In truth, he wasn't the only one that noticed your eyes had gone dark. Everyone did, especially Diluc, he thought you hated being with him after how he's treated you these past few weeks. It was a never ending cycle, he makes a mistake, you try to make up for it, he doesn't tell you how he feels, you get distant, he wins you over and you go back to being yourself once more and then it repeats.

A day has passed since your mission, your things were packed, you visited the winery to bid goodbye to the man who treated you as his own child and the man who supported you with every small dumb decision you have ever made— and the most important man you have ever met, the man that changed your life, your view of love and affection.

Unfortunately, Diluc stood quiet during your goodbyes, he was behind Crepus and Kaeya who gave you a hug and bid Goodbye. He stood in the shadows unsure of what to do next, he stood unknowingly shedding a tear.

"Diluc, can we talk? Just us." You say as he nods and steps out of the winery with you, he stares at you with his ever so dead eyes.

"I have longed to tell you how I felt, how I always felt the need to impress you and how I—.. I want to tell you that you are the only reason I came back to Mondstat, the only reason I became a knight. Diluc I adore you, If I may—; love, even. Diluc I love you, I have for a very long time. All I ever wanted was to tell you yet you manage to somehow make me aware of your dislike of affection. I understand, I really do. It won't stop me from how I feel for you, but Diluc Ragvindr.. there is no point of me being here if it wasn't with you, if It wasn't by your side making you feel happy— if it wasn't with you, there is nothing in this world- in the whole of Teyvat that matters. So in other words, this is goodbye. Diluc, I hope you live a happy life and love someone you truly think is worthy and may they treat you how you deserve to be treated and may they love you as much as I do."

You waited for a brief moment for a response, you hoped.. atleast a bit, atleast a little bit that he would say he felt the same way yet he stood quiet. You chuckled to yourself as you felt your eyes welling up. "Goodbye, Diluc." You walk away with your things and your tears running down your face while Diluc stood in regret, his mouth could not conjure up anything, his body was frozen, his tongue was tied. His words were trapped in his throat and there was no way to get them out. He watched you walk away— you were too far, too far away from his reach. He felt his eyes water, and soon his tears were unstoppable, they felt like fire in his eyes. He wanted to chase after you, he wanted to move his body yet he was frozen in place, he was gone— you, were gone. And it was solely because of him, him not being able to express his love, his emotions.

To this day, he wishes that you would walk into his tavern, that you would come back and say you missed him. That you still loved him, but who was he to ask for that when he had long received your wedding invitation. Who was he to long for the love of someone he hurt and who was he to wish for you to ruin your perfect life with your partner now. He can only wish for you to live a happy life, much like what you wished for him though he knows deep down that no one could ever compare to you.

#diluc ragnvindr #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #diluc angst #master diluc #angst no comfort #no happy ending #diluc x reader #gn reader #diluc sad #married #unsaid feelings #crepus #genshin crepus #diluc and kaeya #genshin kaeya #kaeya #kaeya alberich #ragbros

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sunlightnmoonshine · 7 months ago

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It is unfortunate that the writers intention was to make the audience feel sympathy for eunseung but lop sided writing meant irritation was only ever directed at the character. The ending that eunseung got was clearly an attempt meant to tug at sympathy strings especially the zoning in on the necklace and the dialogue prior, of him not understanding why he was unloved, but the issue is -

1. there has been no valid attempt to show us why he should be loved in the first place, every attempt to get haein was by ruining her life first, we don't even have a clear reason as to why he liked her in the first place except for pure obsession (which just seems weird now given we have that flashback now and know that he despised the family and you mean to tell me that one dog scene was all it did???). The writer could have even gone the route of saying his need to be with haein was so that he could be closer to his mother or something, like even that would have made more sene than what we got, and so when he looked at haein in with that hurt after literally being a jackass the whole series with no reason why she should have ever liked him it's difficult to give a shit about his death although it's clear the writer was aiming for that.

2. his relationship with his mother has been so poorly executed, we should have got this messed up dynamic in earlier episodes so that we could see how little moh seul hee actually cared about him and how eunseung was broken by this, instead we got a few mediocre conversations that always ended with him willingly benefitting from her plans, plotting with her, ruining characters with her, and all in all just being all "you abandoned me" one scene and then "that's what we need to do to maintain our wealth" the next. We could have had such character exploration by delving into his hatred and abandonment issues had they linked it to the story instead of just shoving his meaningless obsession down our threats.

3. there is little added to his character at all, he doesn't care about anyone, you dont see him meaningfully interact with anyone, even his business prowess is a lukewarm tell don't show situation, when da hye felt bad for him I was like why? there has been nothing shown to the audience where you have reason to feel bad for him, if anything his end seemed too kind after everything the main characters had been put through and more importantly outside of haein he hasn't had a single moment of kindness. Frankly he didn't have a single meaningful moment.

A good villain does not in anyway need to be redeemable, but they do need to be enjoyable to watch and it seems like the writer tried to create a complicated villain but fell short by just giving him three main traits "I have mommy issues, I am obsessed with a woman who has shown no interest me, and I hate the man she loves because I am not him" that for the most part were poorly unpacked and then failed to invoke feeling from a perceptive audience.

With all this said, park sung hoon did a great job working with what little he had and deserves all the praise and well so long eunseung I'll miss yelling at you every week.

#queen of tears #kdrama

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scoobydoodean · 8 months ago

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in regards to the john abuse post- for sam there's a scene in season 8 where that crazy hunter says something to the effect of 'I KNOW john would've taken you boys out to the woodshed for this' (which is. slang for a specific thing) and sam immediately explodes on the guy and shoves him into the wall. sure he's stressed about dean in that scene but a friend of his dad's mentioning his dad hitting him was clearly what made him snap in the moment. it was clearly something sam was sensitive about. considering the age and demographics of the characters (and writers) I can't help but wonder if maybe the winchesters are the sort of people who think corporal punishment and physical abuse are somehow two different things. like, it makes more sense than not that an ex marine in the 80s and 90s with a drinking problem who's constantly scared about his kids getting killed while also putting them in dangerous situations would probably spank them. so I wonder if the reason sam and dean had such different reactions to max's abuse in season 1 was because as much as he hated what john did there werent like, broken bones or anything involved, and he could justify that its not like john was beating them for no reason, versus dean who had a lot more responsibility placed on him and clearly went out of his way to hide things from sam. it is interesting to me that as sam gets older he sort of forgives john with a 'he tried his best' mindset and seems to remember him more fondly, while dean eventually settles in a place of 'I love him but I can't forgive him for my childhood'. srry for rambling.

Context

That would be Martin in 8.09 "Citizen Fang".

Glad your dad wasn't around to hear that. He'd have a mind to take you both out the woodshed and show you what's what. Half inclined to do it myself.

I can't say I have the same interpretation of that scene or Sam's reaction. Like I said, I don't begrudge anyone building the physically abusive John interpretation, and I think this can easily fit into that list of suggestive moments. I don't necessarily understand Martin's phrasing in the same way. Maybe it's worth it to translate my view of Martin's wording here into a little plainer terms (as a certified U.S. southerner, I feel qualified to do this 🤭):

"Your father would be very disappointed in you if he heard that conversation between the three of us. It would upset him to the extent that he would wish he could punish you as if you were still children instead of grown men. It is as if you have forgotten the simplest lessons—the ones you learned about the world from your father as you grew to adulthood. If you're going to act like uneducated children, perhaps I should treat you as such and become your new father so that I can re-teach these childhood lessons."

We do hear from Dean at the end of 2.03 "Bloodlust", that John had a very dogmatic stance on monsters, and I think this phrasing from Martin makes sense in this context, whether he does or doesn't also mean to imply specific punishments he knew to be carried out when they were young. (I don't personally feel "taken out to the woodshed" has to be so literal, and my google searches seem to agree?) Martin already actually hit Dean--I don't know that he means he actually wants to go back to literally hit Dean some more, though I suppose that's possible.

To be mindful of the context here and exactly how Sam reacts... this is right after Martin knocks Dean unconscious for opposing them about hunting Benny. Sam was immediately on edge when Martin knocked Dean out. Sam went along with it in the aftermath because it got him closer to what he wanted (Benny dead) but he didn't like it. Martin's actions plainly illustrated that he's a loose canon. Sam, having brought Martin into the hunt, is now seeing shit hit the fan as a result of his choice to involve a hunter he knew to be unstable (with the added sting of Dean having called out Martin's instability earlier in the episode—a reflection on Dean being the better judge of character and his lack of trust in Sam's reasoning being warranted—a thing Sam is sensitive about). Martin is not even a little conflicted or uncertain about the completely unhinged thing he just did to Dean, and he's got a clear sense of seniority, believing HE is the leader, and not just Dean—but Sam also is a dumb little kid who should do as Martin says.

If there are two things Sam Winchester hates, they are 1) His unilateral choices having disastrous outcomes that Dean predicted would happen and 2) being treated like a little kid... and Martin goes double or nothing with this line (and mentioning John also in the mix most certainly invokes, at the very least, the origin of Sam's follower/leader false dichotomy).

Sam's response to Martin is telling—a reminder that HE is the leader, and that Martin is under HIS command and better fall in line:

You listen to me. I brought you into this. I can bring you out just as easy. So the only thing you're gonna be inclined to do is shut up and follow my lead.

Basically, I think for me personally, this one can go in the suggestive evidence pile, but I don't find it any more convincing than the other things that have been mentioned. I'm not trying to tell anyone else how to think. I think your interpretation is reasonable. I think there's two reasonable conclusions here.

#8.09 #season 8 #martin #the flannel business #john #i dont deserve what he put on me #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone

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phantomoftheorpheum · 6 months ago

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PLL: OS (Summer School) 2x05 thoughts

*Spoilers for 2x01-2x05 of Summer School

I just finished watching 2x05 and I have SO many thoughts, I don't even know where to begin. I think I'm going to structure this episode analysis a little differently by focusing on each of the main girls in turn, then everything else after. So... let's get started.

Noa

It feels right to start with Noa, since this is her "test" episode and she has all kinds of screen time in this episode. There is so much going on with her... every time I think I get a handle on how they want us to feel, they do something that confuses me with her.

Shawn/Noa/Jen - Let's talk about the love triangle. The whole first half of the episode, I was thinking, "Okay, they don't want us to like Noa and Jen, or they wouldn't make Shawn so ridiculously, endlessly supportive and just keep shoving in our faces how much he does not deserve this (based on everything we know now)," but then when they had Noa "dump" Jen, it genuinely felt to me like we were supposed to feel sad for them in that moment, which like... Why would we? Why would we like them? And y'all brought this situation upon yourselves! I don't get it, man.

Noa is like, "Maybe it's just temporary and your problems will go away," (I am paraphrasing) and I'm like, WHAT PROBLEMS NOA?? We have seen literally 0 problems between you and Shawn this season, except for the fact that you're cheating on him! I am trying SO hard to give Noa any grace I can muster, but she just keeps going lower. All season we've just got Noa like-

The smidgen of grace that I can find for Noa this episode is that she is finally feeling guilty. As she should. It took her long enough. But also, she's still handling everything horribly. I think it would be easier to relate to her storyline this season if we'd seen more cracks in her relationship with Shawn earlier in the season. Like... he didn't go to Mouse's birthday? His mom sucks, but he knows that and he doesn't excuse it? Or even if they'd just spent time showing Noa and Shawn's different interests making them spend less and less time together and maybe even Noa getting bored of their relationship. But we didn't see any of this. It was like Jen showed up and Noa suddenly did a 180 on personality and relationships. It's weird.

Shawn - Again, I don't need to spend a lot of time here, because I've talked about this at length & we don't really have any new info about Shawn, but he continues to be ridiculously supportive of Noa (I mean, this relationship is absolutely doomed, right? There is no coming back from this when it all comes out.), and if he is legitimately innocent, he is getting royally screwed. That being said, the fact that they are making him so supportive of Noa and constantly willing to do anything for her and choosing her over everyone makes me incredibly suspicious of him. I know he was like this last season (mostly), but it's just so in our faces. It feels like they're either setting up for a big switch with him, or maybe they're going to kill him off. This is not a sustainable character, imo. He is also conveniently never around when the BR stuff is happening. He's been MIA for all 3 tests.

Jen - I was trying so hard to give Jen a chance. I got off on the wrong foot with her (personally) when I realized she was going to be the inciting factor for a love triangle (which I hate) and infidelity plot line, but every single episode I like her less. Have I written her off completely? No. She hasn't murdered anyone in cold blood (as far as we know) or SA'd anyone (as far as we know), so I'm not saying I could never like her, but boy do I not like her right now. It's not just the obvious stuff (seeming to take delight in messing with Noa behind Shawn's back, the lying, the stealing, the actively trying to break up a relationship, etc.), the thing that really struck me this episode was the moment when Noa is mad at Jen because she intentionally inserted herself in the conversation with Shawn (and basically taunted him, though he didn't know it) and Jen's all like "Are you seriously mad at me? I just wanted coffee." (again, paraphrasing) just like fully twisting the situation around and gaslighting Noa about what was happening there. I DO NOT fuck with this kind of manipulative trash behavior. And she does that a lot, deflect blame (like with the stolen money) and then act all hurt that you would think badly of her. It's fucking infuriating. I want to give her the tiniest smidgen of credit for paying Shawn back (though it seems like her motivation is, "if you don't owe him anything, then you can break up with him,"), but I'm not even sure if I should do that, because it wouldn't shock me (considering she implies she got the money in a shady way) if she's setting Shawn up to get in trouble with the cash. Like that's how much I don't trust her atm. I will talk about this more in the next point, but also how the HELL did she know how to find Noa at the end of the ep? What does she know? That being said, Jen being so unlikable and suspicious (which I think is on purpose) makes me feel like she's too obvious to be a twist antagonist. But maybe she's still a secondary antagonist. I'm not sure.

Noa's test - I'm now fully convinced that the "tests" aren't about testing them at all. I mean, yes, obviously "Rose" wasn't playing fair, attacking Faran after she passed, but I originally thought the "tests" might be some sort of "are you worthy of redemption?" games, but now I think the "tests" are only a tool. I believe they're being filmed. The girls are being forced to do these things for entertainment purposes (we'll get to that theory in a bit), and that's why the tests don't really have much of a point and seem only designed to inflict fear, pain, or exhaustion.

Noa's test made her feet bleed (bloody feet reminds me of the Five Holy Wounds). Originally, I thought all the religious imagery was a clue for us, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's more about intentionally creating this imagery itself (Again, I'll get into this theory later).

I don't know what's next for Noa, but it feels like she's still got a ways to go before she scrapes rock bottom, possibly.

Faran

Okay, I'm actually really excited to talk about Faran because I love her. I think I relate the most to Faran out of any of the girls, and her character has felt so consistent in her characterization and I love that.

So, as I've been predicting from the jump, her relationship with Henry is over. It took longer than I was expecting, but here we are.

Faran: "Honestly, I'm not sure how much longer Henry and I are for this world." Me: Have you been reading my PLL posts?

^^ from my 2x01-2x02 analysis post

^^ from my 2x03 analysis post

Anyway, I just think it's funny that Faran and I used the exact same wording about this situation.

Faran's resilience and strength has been a huge theme for her character, so I genuinely really loved the way she struggled with facing the fact that she's not as invincible as she had been feeling. I love seeing Faran vulnerable, because she's a character that doesn't necessarily show that as often, and she's so confident and powerful, which I admire so much about her, but she's still a person.

Even though the situation was weird, I like that Faran got some well deserved apologies.

Henry - It does feel weird to me that Henry's gotten "converted" so quickly. He didn't seem to have a strong religious background prior to joining the church (which he initially did for the acting role in redemption house), and he's been so obsessed with Faran, him not being able to walk away from the church is weird. I'll be discussing the church itself in a later section, but this episode has pushed me away a little bit from some of my theories, but it genuinely does feel like there's some weird... almost hypnosis-like stuff happening? I'm not really personally all that suspicious of Henry at the moment, it kind of feels like this storyline was a good way to connect Faran to the church plot & destroy her relationship at the same time, and I don't know that it needs to be any more than that? (with Henry specifically, I mean).

Greg - For a minute, I thought he'd been fully "converted" like Henry, which would ruin my Faran & Greg grudging team up theory, but I think that may still happen. Faran is definitely the one out of the girls with the most ties to the church/cult stuff, and obviously Greg does, too. He is annoying, but watching him constantly get shown up by Faran is honestly very enjoyable to me, so I'm not opposed.

Imogen

First of all, the fact that we've seen Imogen grab knives multiple times and nothing happens with that (except for in Tabby's film where she stabs Chet) feels very Chekhov's Gun of them. It makes me a bit nervous that Johnny is present for both of these scenes and is the one who de-escalates the situation. Is it foreshadowing that she's going to stab him in the finale?

Johnny - I know this is totally irrelevant to the character & I'm trying not to develop a blind spot for him, but ever since I finally realized Johnny is played by Antonio Cipriano, I kind of love him 😅. Have y'all heard this man sing? ANYWAY, I know that's not how I should be judging the character, and if he does anything suspicious, I'm still gonna point that out (spoiler alert- he said something that sent me into a spiral and I'll be addressing that in the upcoming theories section). But I want nice things for Imogen (I mean, after last season, I want her to have anything she wants romantically) and anyway I know I was very undecided about Johnny for the first half of the season, but now I really want him to be good. Also I love his voice. I mean, obviously the actor is a gorgeous singer, but I mean that I love his speaking voice. It's so soothing. But then that makes me nervous.

Rebecca - PLL loves a "let's connect these characters with a common letter" twist, so I think we are absolutely supposed to notice that Rebecca and Rose are both R names. We know basically nothing about her, but the fact that they're introducing a step-mother figure (soon to be) when motherhood is a central theme to Imogen's story is clearly not a mistake. I'm not sure where this storyline is going. Rebecca is inherently suspicious, but the fact that she hasn't been introduced until over halfway through the season makes her feel disconnected from everything we've seen so far. I'm reserving judgement on this point of this character for now.

Mental Health - It's not a surprise that Imogen has been struggling with her mental health throughout this season. Not only does it run in her family, but she also has been through so much trauma. It would be more surprising if she were fine. I don't know if her profile in Dr. Sullivan's office was supposed to make us suspicious of her (Imogen) in some way, but I am not. I do think we'll see her stab someone by the end of the season, though. But I expect it will be someone who deserves it.

Mouse

Mouse is in a kind odd position this episode. Her grandmother feels more important to the episode than she does.

Speaking of- the consistent presence of Mouse's grandmother makes it feel like her character is more important than I thought she would be. Does she have some sort of connection to Bloody Rose (or regular Rose Waters?) from her past? What's going on with this storyline? Why are they devoting time to it? I feel like I've missed something important. Any ideas?

Mouse herself feels quite background in this episode. We don't really see much of anything that moves her storyline forward. She sees the Bloody Rose Cult (more about that later) stuff, and she has a nightmare about Rose, but that's about it. Idk what else to say.

Ash - He's basically not in this episode. I'm not super suspicious of him, but I'm also not not suspicious. It still bothers me that he's been upgraded to a main cast member, but we haven't seen him that much this season (like he and Greg were the two that got bumped up and Greg has been around a lot more compared to season 1), which makes me wonder if he has a LOT of screen time near the end, which would likely be due to him being involved in things. But there's also just... pretty much nothing to back this up? What would his motive even be? The only suspicious stuff we've seen from him so far- being MIA during Mouse & Faran's tests (but we know where he was during Noa's), MIA for actually finding Rose Waters (that split up was very weird), Red Right Hand playing over one of his scenes, He was wearing a shirt in 2x05 that looked like it had roses on it, and also his actor's credit in the opening sequence is laid over the bloody rose in the locker (Greg's actor's credit is also over a bloody rose). But why would he do any of this? How would they connect it? So... yeah, that's where I am with him rn.

Tabby

Tabby's film festival plot line seems to be a lot more important than I originally thought it was. In fact, it is a major piece in my current working theory, and I feel like Tabby and film is a pretty central theme to this season of the show. Of course Tabby has always been a big horror film nerd, and of course the show has always made a lot of references. But I think they might be even more important this season.

Christian - I've generally been not so suspicious of Christian this season, but I'm becoming more and more so. I just feel like the whole plot line of him quite literally making a Bloody Rose mask (particularly when I think it's quite clear someone is dressing up like Rose. it's not actually Rose, and real Rose probably never looked anything like that anyway, so they got that mask somewhere and he is the most obvious source for the mask) should have come back around by now if he's 100% innocent. Instead, Tabby hasn't questioned this. That puts me on edge. He's also kind of suffering from the "too perfect so now you're automatically suspicious" characterization I've mentioned before. There is one particular reason that I've become more suspicious of Christian after this episode, but I'm going to cover that in the theories section.

Camp Millwood - When Tabby first mentioned this in the episode, I thought we might be getting the "secluded cabin/camp in the woods" plot line that I've been anticipating, but it's not exactly an abandoned or secluded location anymore. It does feel a lot like the Stab-a-thon in Scream 4, though. So that's interesting. I feel like there have been a lot of Wes Craven references this season (there is a character named Wes in this show).

Friday the 13th - There are a ton of film (specifically horror) references throughout the show, but there being such an emphasis on this series doesn't feel accidental. I've not seen the entire series, but I do know the famous twist of the first film (which I will not spoil here) and that feels like it could be related, considering the themes of this show. Scream references this twist, too, and I've seen a lot of Scream references in this season. But since I am not a Friday the 13th expert, I think it's possible the importance of bringing this franchise up may have gone over my head a bit.

Dr. Sullivan

I think I need to give this character her own section, since we learned a lot this episode.

I'm really not sure how much we're supposed to trust her. As I've said before, I don't think her being "good" in the original show necessarily means she'll turn out good in this one. I do think Dr. Sullivan's past & the fact that she has multiple quotes throughout the season that feel like they're implying she may have lost a child needs to reappear. I'm just not entirely convinced it's directly tied to our BR plot, or... that it means she's involved in an antagonistic way.

Okay, maybe this an unpopular opinion, but like... If you're telling your therapist shit, she's gonna write it down. I know that Dr. Sullivan was illegally recording the sessions, and that's obviously major malpractice (and seems like a weird risk to take, just to write a book) that could get her license taken away, so I'm not saying it doesn't matter. But I also felt like the girls were a lot more freaked out by it than I (a viewer) was. Like... your therapist is going to keep records of you. They are going to write down things you tell them. How the hell would they keep track of all their patient's issues if they didn't? This is a more extreme version of that, and if a therapist IRL was doing that (secretly recording you), it would be upsetting. I just think in the scheme of issues in the show, this one felt like they had a huge reaction, when there are other big issues they just brush off like it's nothing.

Now, whether or not Dr. Sullivan is being honest about what she was doing is an entirely different matter. I can't help but wonder if she's doing some investigating (illegally) because she thinks the events of what happened in Millwood (and possibly what's happening now) are tied to the loss of her loved one (possibly a child) and she's trying to solve it & she recorded the girls because she wanted transcripts to be able to review everything in detail. If she's trying to figure out what happened to her child, that would be a motive big enough to be worth risking your career, and could keep her from being a "bad" character, while still being shady. She wasn't surprised at being pushed down the stairs (if that even happened) and she said in this episode that she volunteered to work with the girls. So anyway, I think she may be investigating.

I do have another theory about the recordings (we'll get there).

Other Notes

Rose has a German Shepherd?? Listen, I'm probably not supposed to think too hard about this, but this (again) feels like an unnecessarily elaborate set up.

Kairos being brought up by name again still interests me- if you haven't read my earlier posts about this, I've pretty extensively discussed why this is interesting in my 2x04 analysis. You can find that tagged 'pll' on my blog.

Bloody Rose Cult - the online version of the cult kind of confuses me. I'm not sure how that's going to tie in, like it feels like it has to be there for a reason, but it also felt like a complication to the plot that we maybe didn't need. So what gives?

Theories

I'll just get the big one out of the way first-

Wes. I mentioned last week that just because Wes hasn't had a huge presence this season, I haven't forgotten that he is sketchy AF. I also theorized that the SpookySpaghetti BR films might be his (and might even be the rejected festival films he made). I also mentioned during my church (specifically Mrs. Beasley) theory that the biggest snag in that theory is the technological side of Rose, her online presence, the use of the term "final girls," etc. None of that really fits with Mrs. Beasley, even if she is working with kids from the youth group. So here's what makes the most sense to me at this moment. Wes is making a movie. He saw the events of the Millwood Massacre, realized he had five "final girls" right in front of him, is bitter about his plot with Tabby from last season, and is desperate to "make it" in the industry. The tests are weirdly convoluted and nonsensical because they matter only insomuch as the footage they capture for his film. Whether or not they pass doesn't matter to Rose, as long as they don't ALL die because there needs to be someone left for the finale. If they fail, gory death footage. If they pass, tense chase scene. If Wes is behind this, I think the church (cult) are the villains of his film. We see a BR cult in the most recent film on SpookySpaghetti, and they are doing exactly what we later see Kelly, Henry, and the church doing. I think it may be that all the religious imagery, the kills all being "sinners," the supposed "tests," is all designed to lead back to the cult (based off of Kelly's church) in the film. This is why "Rose" killed the teens in the cabin, and Sandy, no tests, but devised convoluted traps for the girls to escape. Those other characters aren't final girls; they don't need to make it to the finale. I suspect the "finale" is planned for Redemption House. Sooooo, that's the new big theory.

If someone is making a movie, this also ups my suspicions of Christian. Wes is the obvious choice (I mean, he's named Wes, he's a walking horror reference), but he's also already an annoyance at best, so it's easy to suspect him. Christian has as much horror movie knowledge and could also be working on something like this. The fact that he's NOT been a suspect basically at all (Tabby thought he was weird for like 5 minutes) definitely is a red flag for me. I also think this is a multi-person operation (at least two, possibly more).

I also think, even if the "Wes is making a movie" theory is correct, we have to have someone who has more personal knowledge (or access to it) of the girls involved as well. How does Rose know their secrets? As far as we know, only Jen & Noa know about their relationship, but Rose knew. Obviously the love interests are all in a good position to get info, but none of them have complete access to all the girls, so they could be pooling their info, or they could be stealing/checking phones, etc. OR it could be someone like Dr. Sullivan. She knows A LOT of the girl's secrets, and she might even know about Jen & Noa's original relationship if she has access to juvie records. Who knows? I haven't forgotten that all their numbers leaked and there aren't many characters who should have been able to do that. It's also possible (if she and Wes or she and Christian were working together) that she was recording the girls for dialogue/audio for the script of the film.

My big question about this is.... How would Wes (or Christian, if he's involved) think he could get away with this? If he makes his movie out of real footage, people will know. Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he just wants the recognition, no matter the cost.

The Church - I'm not completely not suspicious of the church anymore, like I still like a lot of the analysis I did on it, but I think my current theory fits a little better at the edges. Still, I've got my eye on them.

Jen showing up to pick Noa up is weird. Since Noa was walking around in the woods for a while, it seems unlikely she would have been able to follow her very well. But I feel this could also be easily explained by Jen being tipped off in some way. It's weird, but I'm not ready to make a strong judgement on it yet.

Okay, okay, okay. This is me taking a ridiculous shot in the dark based on the tiniest shred of evidence (and honestly kinda hope I'm wrong), but I had this wild thought when Johnny mentioned his dad is an asshole. We know basically nothing about Johnny, but they give us this little tidbit. This show loves twin twists. This show loves its alliterative names (Karen & Kelly). And there's someone else who also mentioned their dad is an asshole. Could Johnny & Jen be twins? We get the impression that Jen is an only child because she mentions she and her mom were abandoned by her dad (however honest that is), but she never said she didn't have siblings. We've never seen Johnny and Jen interact (they were both at the skate party, but not interacting), and they're both possibly not from Millwood (Jen mentions she had to come to Millwood for summer school, implying she's usually enrolled elsewhere, and Johnny asked that girl on a date to Rosewood, meaning he may also not be a Millwood native). Once I thought it, I had to write it down. It seems like a stretch, but I would never forgive myself for thinking this and not saying it if it turned out to be true.

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clothyume · 7 months ago

Text

A Premature Burial Episode 10

A Premature Burial

Episode 10

Season: Winter

Characters: Mika, Shu

(Several hours later. Itsuki Villa storage room)

Raphaello: “Welcome”

“No. I should say ‘welcome home’ to you, Shu-kun”

“For a long time you used this room as a secret base when you were a child”

Shu: Forget the pleasantries. Let’s get to the main question

That strangely clear tone of voice is unpleasant, and it makes me angry because it reminds me of the person I hate the most in the world… I certainly don’t want to listen to your long story

Mika: Ngah~. I was wonderin’ who that reminded me of. It’s kinda similar to how student council pres— I mean, Tenshouin-san talks

Raphaello: “Things like tone of voice are just for show, really. Perhaps you’re just a person with a troublesome nature that doesn’t feel at ease unless you complain about other people’s behaviour”

Shu: It’s just like you to always try to contradict what other people say

You cannot speak without denying the other person first, but your personality is surprisingly good

Raphaello: “Fufu, don’t look so sour, I’m not your enemy“

“To be honest, father’s— your grandfather’s legacy doesn’t matter to me at all”

“However, before my father becomes very busy, I’d like for him to recognise and admit that I’m his son, even if it is just once”

Shu: …If that is truly the case, I want to sympathise with you. In the current situation, you have no proof that you really are my grandfather’s illegitimate child, I can’t agree with that so easily

Right now, you look like a swindler that has approached my grandfather for his inheritance

Raphaello: "I really am hated, aren't I. Well, I am the illegitimate child of your loved and respected grandfather after all, even if that's difficult for you to grasp"

"If I want you to call me your uncle, I suppose I'll have to break the pipe"*

*I literally have no idea what he means lol

“No. I called you here especially for that reason”

“Kagehira-kun, that book with the uselessly luxurious decoration is over there, isn’t it?”

Mika: Ngah? Please don’t change the conversation so suddenly, I still ain’t sure what kinda attitude to have with Raphaello-san!

Raphaello: “I’ll ask you to just treat me normally”

Mika: ‘Kay… Umm, is this the book ya mean?

I’m curious about it too. Fer some reason it’s sealed up with a heavy lock, but what is this?

Shu: Is that some kind of magic book? My grandfather had a love for the occult after all

Mika: Ma-Magic book? I thought it might be some kinda diary or somethin'?

Wait, didn't Oshisan use this place as a secret base when he was a kiddo? Ya don't recall seein' it?

Shu: No, I've not seen that book before. My grandfather regularly purchases new things and re-organizes his collection, so the appearance changes often

However, that is a strangely old-fashioned book, and it doesn’t seem to be something that was officially published. This may not be the right way to say it nowadays but, it's probably something like a fanfiction

Hmm… A book with no title, sealed under lock and key, and Shakespear's "Taming of the Shrew"?

This sealed book also has the feel of one of Shakespeare's works, doesn't it?

No, it's strange isn't it. "The Taming of The Shrew" shouldn't be a long novel at all, that being said, this book is rather thick

The body is— Well, more than anything, it's handwritten and the style is academic

Although the writing style is based in Kanji*, which is derived from China, in the old days this writing style is what was associated with this country

*Here he’s referencing an old writing style in which Japanese literature was written in entirely kanji, with no hiragana or katakana.

The colloquial style of writing that we are all so familiar with is still relatively new

Mika: Ngah~… It’s just like me ta not be able to read this kinda stuff. I learned about Classical Japanese in class, so maybe since it’s in kanji I can slo~wly grasp the meanin’ of it

After all, I had Chinese food earlier

Shu: What kind of reasoning is that?

Hmph… But it is strange. I tried reading it briefly but, the content is miles from Shakespeare’s “Taming of The Shrew”

It seems to be a travel diary of a lone man in a foreign country, in that sense, it’s similar to Mori Ogai’s “The Dancing Girl”

Raphaello: “The ‘funeral contest’ has a deadline. The time we can use is limited, so I’ll share the story, quickly”

“The main character of that “Taming of The Shrew’ who not named throughout the whole text, is actually your grandfather”

Shu: What…?

Raphaello: “This is probably a diary, what I’m saying is that Kagehira-kun’s intuition was correct”

“This book that is made to look like a novel is what remains of Shu’s grandfather's— My father’s mementos”

“It surely is his diary, no, perhaps it would be truer to call it my story”

Shu: What is something like that doing here? No, if that’s so, then the books with the same binding and seal are of the same calibre?

Raphaello: “I’m afraid each and every one of them is probably one of your grandfather’s diaries”

“It’s unclear why they’re sealed or why the diary is here. I couldn’t possibly know that”

“However, I had only seen it through this doll, and then it hit me. That diary is the same one that my mother had used”

Shu: Your mother being my grandfather’s adulterous lover

Raphaello: “From your perspective, I suppose. But, for me she is the mother that I love the most in the world”

“Anyway. On the subject of the diaries with the same binding, there’s a high probability they were written around the same time”

“And, in the diary of the mother I know, there were entries of her younger days, and how she and your grandfather met”

A confession of infidelity, something that could be used as evidence”

Shu: ………

#raison d'etre #ensemble stars #enstars #shu itsuki #mika kagehira #english translation

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chemicalbrew · 2 years ago

Note

choose violence ask game 6 bc we both know where this is headed (cough all of them cough)

YEAH YEAH YEAH YIPPEE [immediately turns reblogs off]

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? [interpreting as romantic ship]

so. let's start with what we both know

Katana ZERO

As I said in DMs earlier, I think the only worthwhile KZ ship is Zero x the receptionist (preferably one-sided, but I think someone really smart could make it mutual. I certainly wouldn't be mad if it was confirmed mutual in canon, but I seriously doubt it - one-sided is way funnier, anyway.). I also kind of sort of in theory respect the hustle of people trying to write V and Snow (rarepairs... been there), but I think I could never see it that way; what we have in game of them is barely good enough for anything, which is what makes it hilarious. That said, the most annoying shit here is, as we know...

150 150 150 150 150 !!!!!!

Even their stupid ship name cracks me up. Like, I understand, you can't have a good portmanteau or anything when your ship has numbers, but half the ship is literally Zero (hehe another reason Zerocep[tionist] wins), however... the way you read it is not even conducive to a shipping read. One fifty? One hundred and fifty? Even the number doesn't want them together <3

There was a post somewhere in my KZ tag that actually puts my feelings better than I myself can, but I'll try anyway. Due to the way this game's plot\timeline is framed, all their past interaction is basically implied. They don't really get to exchange any words, no matter how awkward (compare this to the receptionist having the tiniest of character arcs, but still an arc, between the hotel and bunker stages) - Fifteen just shows up, confirms he's the real Dragon, kills the shit out of V, and leaves, and that right there is the closest we get to an interaction (surely you won't say Zero walking in on a conversation later counts?).

How the fuck can you wrangle a ship out of that?

'But muh implications' that's all they are, implications. Not a very fertile ground to build upon. And even then, what they imply is far more like camaraderie than anything, which, while a solid and even necessary (in real life, at least) foundation for a relationship, doesn't MEAN it has to be romantic!! Give me traumatized war buddies that aren't making out with each other, pleeeeeeease...

'But you're reblogging art with them together' YEAH BECAUSE THEY LOOK HANDSOME TOGETHER AND THEIR DESIGNS ARE PERFECTLY COMPLEMENTARY. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON. I'M LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH HOW WELL THEY MATCH IN THIS ASPECT. This is why they should just be fighting together and nothing else <3

Xenoblade (gonna try and be a bit more rapid-fire about the rest of this post, unless the wrathful mood strikes me again)

Shulk and Fiora do not make sense romantically at all to me. They're family, ffs. Same for Shulk and Reyn, if not doubly same. But the fans keep insisting otherwise and often. (Libra, if you're reading this, this doesn't apply to you or other friends of mine that like Shiora. You're the only ones I trust with these two, I just want no part of it myself)

Shulk and Alvis are amazing, but need to be viewed through a lens more complex than typical shipping to be fully appreciated (something I'm still somewhat guilty of and recovering from. Jesus, wider XB1 fandom can be the worst sometimes).

Shulk and Melia as a ship by itself does not offend me, but the fans that weep about how Melia never had any good shit happen to her, and say Shulk not returning her feelings makes it worse... can die in a fire :)

I don't understand how people can take Reyn and Sharla seriously together tbh... but I guess it's more acceptable than the stuff above?

Rex and Nia (on their own, without Aegis in picture) never needed to be anything more than friends. The way Nia gets over being ''''friendzoned''' (hate that word) canonically is better than anything fans have come up with regarding this matter.

Lora and Jin have barely been interpreted by anyone in the wider fandom correctly (that I know of - key word 'barely'). Just stop at this point <3

...I won't be talking about XB3 ships because I heavily dislike XB3 and haven't read anything shippy for it, not even for NoahMio.

PS. Morag and Zeke should get more attention (personally I'm still guilty of somewhat ignoring this as a ship, but if I ever replay\rewatch, I'll be sure to analyze their interactions more, especially bc they're fun no matter how you look)

misc.

I have seen people interpret Ares and Dela (Brandish series) as a romantic ship, and I'd like to see just how much their brain has rotted.

Olivier and Mueller (Trails in the Sky) are very fun as a ship! I'd just like to see people view their relationship through a more neutral lens sometimes. However, the fact that Estelle x Kevin fics exist is the real mind-bender here. HOW? It's called being playful and keeping up a front!! (Also, Estelle x Anelace is slept on the same way as Zerocep and Moragzeke <333)

Frog x Magus and Lucca x Magus (Chrono Trigger) make equally little sense, and yet seem to be popular. Ew. Not even mentioning my personal beef with Frog x Lucca. Don't.

Midna x Link and Malon x Link (Zelda series) were actually my first NOTPs, largely because of annoying fans. I see now I was in the wrong and am largely 'thog dont caaare' about it, but still, important.

Ace Attorney series... tbh its fandom is weird about ships as a whole, but I'm guilty of falling into the Blackmadhi trap, so I can't speak. Almost everything other than Blackmadhi, though, is a tough sell largely bc of fandom.

Any ship involving Stocke from Radiant Historia has to be included in here. I am by and large respectful of most popular stuff with him (especially Stocke x Rosch and the Stocke x Sonja x Rosch OT3), I just think it's more fun to have him not into any of it. Very similar situation to Zero KZ, honestly.

#zero.txt #yippeeee

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blissyx · 1 year ago

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"I guess I always have to just give in. Then it'll all be ok."

Does that make me happy? No. That's not what I want to hear. i want you to TRY and understand me. I want you to SHOW ME that you understood why I was angry and what the issue was. I don't want to be some dictator! I'm not looking to be one!!!

He never tries to understand my emotional needs and just call it my meltdowns and me going crazy moments. I don't even know why I'm still with him during times like this. He does NOTHING for me. NOTHING.

Why am I such a weakling? Why can't I just grow some balls and tell everyone the wedding's off, everything's off, and I'm not settling till I find someone far better (which I feel is unlikely). Why can't living be easier? Why do I have to live with so much anxiety and crippling depressing thoughts that beat myself up anytime it can?!?!?! I HATE MYSELF. I know people will just say "then change who you are. Nobody's stopping you." If only it was that easy. "Oh, but it is. All you need to do is..." Oh, get off your high horse and shut your goddamn freaking mouth. Live my life with my brain THEN tell me again!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

Why couldn't I have gotten someone who is more emotionally smart/mature........ Or at least someone who bothers to learn about it..................

I got angry. I knew i needed space. I knew. I knew. I knew. I knew. I have anger issues. I have triggers. I needed space. But. He. Refused. To. Give. Me. Space!!! He blocked the door. He insisted that I continue the conversation that he had painstakingly continued earlier for my sake and that it was unfair me to stop the conversation now just because I got upset! I got upset because my mind IMMEDIATELY interpreted his discomfort with friendly banter about his religion as him being not open. He even said that he didnt want to have this conversation/banter again. That pissed me off because being open was one of the main qualities why I had chosen to be together with him. I thought he could take friendly banter and challenge ideas/norms/things around us together. I felt like I was cheated. That was how I interpreted it. I became upset. I immediately dropped the sudject and said, we don't even have to continue it now. What's the point? What's the fun? I wanted to go around and do my household chores BUT HE DIDN'T LET ME OUT. He even said me being upset with him being uncomfortable was forcing him to continue a conversation he was uncomfortable with?!?!?!?!

WHY. THE. FUCK. AM. I. IN. THE. WRONG. After all that had happened and he finally calmed down enough to realise he should have given me space when I asked for it, and I had asked for it NICELY, properly, for the first few times, then he has the cheek to conclude with the phrasing, "I guess I always have to just give in. Then it'll all be ok."

I can give him the benefit of doubt and think he doesn't mean what he said that literally but IT STILL SUCKS. That feeling like I'm just a dictator and he's a follower now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

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missdbrill · 2 years ago

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23.04.23

Ok so the below was a total fail. He ended up coming over at 10pm and as usual by then I'd told myself the narrative that he simply doesn't care enough. However per below I sucked it up and tried to get on enjoying my time with him. However strike 2 was him not initiating and intimacy. Strike 3 was having sex and he was completely silent. Of course the absolute ball of despair I had been pushing down deep inside me all week just exploded. And I cried. Again. Fml. I hate getting like that in front of him. He said all the right things as usual but it didn't seem sincere or at that point I was just overanalysing everything. Went to sleep and woke up with an absolute iron fist clenching my heart. He was lieing right next to me and yet felt a million miles away. I needed more reassurance. I didn't get it as he was asleep. At that point I tried to reason with my crazy mind and said let's see how he is with me when he wakes up. And he felt good, he hugged me and kissed me. It felt normal even after the night before. I started to regain my confidence in us.

Then when Blake was at his party and we were at home alone I had the conversation I needed to have. He looked frustrated at times but I trusted that if it was meant to be he needed to hear me out and it wouldn't push him away. And we had a proper chat finally. I want to write it all down for my future POV. I want to remind myself this is who is he and how he operates.

So with regards to not missing me as much he said he always has no much distracting him from missing me. Which I do get and I understand in a way. He said he'd explained the job situation and I get that. But I also explained I wanted to feel wanted, I wanted to feel loved (he told me I am loved ❤️) and that I wanted this relationship to be it for me. I asked if we are still working towards the same future goals as we had always said and he said of course, nothing's changed. And those 2 words brought me so much peace. Nothing has changed for him about us. This is just learning how he processes things, how he deals with life and who he is as a person. I had also earlier asked him if he had thought about breaking up with me and he said No so strongly that it felt good and it felt genuine. I believe in him I really do. As much as he hasbso many quirks as a person he is very authentic. And that means so much to me. All day he has been quiet, we had sex again and it was quiet. But this time I didn't take it personally. I took it as that's where his mind is right now and that's how he's feeling. I get the sense this weekend that he wasn't in a relationship mood and I get that. The fact he still showed up for me is what matteers.

For some reason he fascinates me as a person. He is so deep and intense and yet also quite hard work to understand and manage. But weirdly I like that. I like getting to know what manes him tick and jow his mind works. The fluctuations in his moods. When he is in the mood to be in love it's so amazing and I could not feel more loved and cherished. I adore how he strokes my head and my face. I'm learning to notice the little things, the touches of affection even when he is being quiet. The way he strokes my arm or holds my hand. When he is not in the mood to be in love he is quiet and broody and you can literally see a thousand thoughts going through his brain. I do understand him though and I relate to him so much. I think it will be hard work at times but for reasons that are worth it not ones that aren't. I really adore him. It really is loving the imperfectly perfect and that's how it should be.

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ideas-on-paper · 7 months ago

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I could imagine Garrus/Samara would be quite interesting. Garrus loathes strictly adhering to protocol, so I can see why Samara's attitude would rub him the wrong way. Meanwhile, Garrus isn't exactly the most innocent person in the galaxy himself (as we know from the Shadow Broker files), so if Samara's code has any rules about punishing vigilantism, her oath to Shepard would literally be the only thing stopping her from killing Garrus.

Well, Thane did try to cut contact with Kolyat for his sake once - didn't work out too well. But it would certainly continue the tradition of Jacob being (sort of unnecessarily) bitchy towards Thane. Thane wanting Jacob to reconcile with Ronald is something I could picture, but then again, his line during the neutral ending of Jacob's loyalty mission seems very apathetic by comparison. (Btw, I realized that Thane's line "They'll kill you. Eventually." actually directly mirrors another line he says during his own loyalty mission to Kolyat, about hunting down the murderers of his wife: "I hurt them. Eventually killed them.")

I feel kind of sorry for Jacob, tbh - the guy gets a lot of hate (a great deal of which is due to him ditching Shepard in ME3 if you romanced him, though I'd argue that's the ME3 writers' fault, if anything), but I never particularly disliked him. I always felt like he was just a "normal guy", so to speak, and there's really nothing wrong with that, but I agree that more of a clear direction for his character development would've been nice.

Jacob's loyalty mission being a former N7 mission is definitely something I could imagine - it certainly feels a lot like one of those ME2 N7 missions. (Btw, I totally would've approved of more cool N7 missions in ME2; I would've loved it if they put more effort into them.) I couldn't really pinpoint why, but for some reason, Jacob's loyalty mission always felt weird to me. Maybe it's because of the underlying sexism; maybe it's because for some reason, I had difficulty grasping just what exactly happened, so I went out with a feeling of "What the hell did I just see?" Or maybe it's because, like you said, Jacob doesn't really go through a major development or challenge like the other characters - he essentially comes out the same way as he went in, which makes the whole mission feel kinda pointless.

Oh, thank you! The thing is, in the meantime, I've been experimenting with the Legendary Explorer a bit, so listened to the lines that way. xD Also, since I wanted to make absolutely sure I hadn't missed anything, I checked out every single line from Legion I hadn't seen so far - tbh, the line from the neutral ending made me doubt myself so badly that I thought my entire reading of Legion's character was wrong (which was very upsetting for me).

Overall, however, what I found actually seems to confirm a lot of my earlier interpretations. For example, I had the theory that the Geth asked the question "Does this unit have a soul?" because they wanted to know what they're worth to the Quarians - they were asking them for their opinion, since they realized they were treating them differently. And if you take the Renegade route during the conversation about the Geth and Quarians' history, Legion actually responds with "We do not hate them. We want to share experiences as equals."

There - there you have it, spelled out point-blank: The Geth really only wanted to be equal to their creators.

In general, it was a very fascinating experience - at the moment, I'm even considering if I should do an extra post about Legion's Renegade responses, since there's a lot of cool stuff among those that many people probably have never seen. I even took the time to take a look at the lines of the Geth VI in ME3, which are also quite interesting - by comparison, the tone significantly differs from Legion's.

That, however, still doesn't solve the problem at hand. After thoroughly scouring the lines of both Legion and the Geth VI, I can confirm that there's nothing - nothing - from either ME2 or ME3 that's in any way similar to the line during the neutral ending. I feel like the more I look at it, the more confusing it gets. For starters, I still can't fathom what Legion gets out of the reactions - it's true that the Geth want to study organic life, but after reading Legion's dialogues very carefully again, I think it's more about understanding the reasoning behind the actions of organics (which is what I assumed to begin with).

Like I said before, I think this line is based on the dialogue about Geth's experiment with the rumor about the star formation, where Shepard can inquire "you're poking us for reactions". However, that's Shepard's perception of their actions - Legion explains that they want to model organic behavior to better understand the judgments of their creators during the Morning War. This focus on the judgments - not the actions themselves - is also present in another line during Legion's loyalty mission. If you go Renegade in the conversation about the Geth hubs, Legion will remark "Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong – if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted." (which, honestly, is one of my favorite lines I discovered during my research), explaining that they found the casual self-deceptions of organics useful for analyzing their thought processes.

Essentially, the Geth want to figure out how organics are wired, to facilitate interaction with them. However, in the scenario with Taylor, Legion seems to have a pretty good idea of their motivations - which is sort of curious, actually, since Geth usually struggle with relating to organic emotions (though maybe they identified this through micro expressions or something). Since cause and effect are known (the survivor on the beach literally says "they won't stop until the leader is dead"), I don't really see what use it would have for them to watch the guys beating Taylor to death. It might kind of make sense if they wanted to observe this as an example of a "worst case scenario" what happens when organics get aggressive, but if that was the case, why wouldn't they just say so? Legion never minces words at any point before or after, so why would they do it now? Also, if anger was what they wanted to observe, they would've had plenty of other opportunities to do so (we have Grunt and Jack onboard the Normandy, who get angry pretty regularly). What makes this one so interesting? And, most confusingly, why the pause?

Also, what really strikes me upon closer inspection is how Legion completely disregards Taylor. All the other characters at least seem to respond to Taylor's words in some kind of way, but Legion's reaction just feels like they're talking to themselves. It's very unlike Legion's reactions in similar situations: When Legion is confronted with phrases that are factually inaccurate, they tend to take them literally, as seen in the situation with Detective Anaya (in this video, at 5:49) and when boarding the Quarian ship during Tali's trial (in this video, at 0:21). During my own research, I also found a really funny bit of dialogue between Grunt and Legion: If you pick the Renegade option in the discussion about rewriting vs destroying the Heretics, Legion will agree that not applying organic morality to synthetics is logical (since no two species are the same, and doing so would be racist), to which Grunt reacts by saying "So it's not okay to punch a human, but it's okay to punch you?" and Legion responds with "We would not be damaged. Your first might be."

This line gave me a hearty laugh, but it also illustrates how Legion will usually give an earnest, straightforward response, even to rhetorical questions. This makes their vague answer to Taylor's statement seem all the more outlandish. By all means, you'd expect Legion's response to be something along the lines of violence commonly being reciprocated with violence among organics, in addition to a (very high) probability value for Taylor's death. The cycle of violence is a well-known principle, and you could probably cite countless examples from history (we do know the Geth studied the history of organic conflict). Besides, not only would this fit in well with the overall concept of Legion's character (the Geth's history of conflict with the Quarian's), it would also be a really subtle way to tell Taylor "you're responsible for this yourself".

However, that's... not what Legion actually says. As it is, the line that's most similar to Legion's in tone is Zaeed's, which is... strange, to say the least. (I gotta say, my favorite response is probably Mordin's; I actually picked the neutral ending myself during Jacob's loyalty mission, and Mordin just perfectly summarizes my own standpoint.)

In fact, I've arrived at the point where I'm beginning to doubt that Chris l'Etoile even wrote the line. I knew he left the team prior to Mass Effect 3, but after doing some research, I found out that he left BioWare while Mass Effect 2 was still in development, in 2008 (source). So, between that point and ME2's release in early 2010, anything could've happened.

Moreover, it seems like making Taylor first officer instead of the Captain was a late decision: Because the Codex entry for Aeia mentions that Taylor was the Captain of the Hugo Gernsback - which is a straight contradiction to what we learn in Jacob's loyalty mission - people assumed this was a change made later during development. The dialogue during the final confrontation with Taylor clearly mentions him moving up in position multiple times, so it could only have been written after they decided on the change. If this, hypothetically, happened at a point when Chris l'Etoile had already left, someone else would've been required to add the lines for Thane and Legion (Jay Turner, the writer of Kasumi and Zaeed, stated in an interview that the characters' writers had to approve of all lines the characters had, including squadmate comments during missions). This might have worked out for Thane, since he usually complies with Shepard even if he disagrees with their morality (this is apparent in a remark from Thane during his loyalty mission if you shoot the hostage; also, as I mentioned above, the wording is pretty much copied from another line of his, so it wouldn't have been too hard to do), but for Legion, the result was... well, this.

I admit, I have nothing to decisively prove this. However, upon closer inspection, I found some other, very obscure "inconsistencies" in Legion's late-game dialogue: There are three situations - once during Samara's recruitment mission and twice on the Collector Ship - where Legion talks in colloquial English, with shortened verb forms. As I mentioned in my other post, Legion usually never does this, and the only time they do it in Mass Effect 3, it's very purposefully used right before Legion's death to signify their sentience.

Regarding the line during Samara's recruitment mission, I honestly think that might have been a slip-up; every single character, including Legion, says the line "We'd better find Samara, before the detective goes after her" - with the exception of Jack, who says "we should find Samara". Since I find it a little baffling that Jack, of all people, has the most formal response and her line happens to be just one row beneath Legion's in the dialogue file, I'm wondering if they mixed up the two somehow. (Then again, the "'d" in Legion's line is barely audible; it might as well not be there, and they just copied the subtitles.)

As for the other instances on the Collector Ship though, you can hear it very clearly (in this video, at 0:25 and 0:48). I actually had heard the lines before, but somehow, I never noticed this; however, it's a little weird, since Legion's dialogue seems a lot more "rudimentary" compared to the other characters (I used some videos from the channel you linked for reference: 1, 2, 3). For example, when the companions remark on the design of the ship at the beginning, Legion will say "Unusual design. Chaotic." Most of the other characters say something similar, but it's followed up by a remark that the entire construction looks like an insect hive, which Legion does not have. In general, Legion is lacking a lot of these "follow-up" responses; when they examine the Collector's body (realizing the Collectors formerly were the Protheans), Legion doesn't have any comment at all.

The reason for this could be that they only had half of Legion's dialogue recorded before they made the decision that Legion wouldn't be available for this mission, but what's kinda curious is that when they examine the body pile (when Legion suddenly uses colloquial English), there is actually one character who doesn't have a "reaction line": Mordin. However, Mordin does have the "response line" about it being test subjects, which is almost identical to Legion's. This almost made me wonder if both Legion and Mordin weren't originally supposed to have a "reaction line" (since they're "smart" characters and immediately know what's going on). However, while scouring through the dialogue files, I stumbled upon a different situation when they find human-looking bodies where it's reversed, with Mordin having both the "reaction" and "response" line, but Legion only having the response ("The probability is high that these are some of the missing colonists.") I have to say though, I haven't seen this in any video, so I'm wondering whether this scene even exists in-game. (Maybe the body pile scene was the replacement for it?)

I guess Legion's lines on the Collector ship might just be leftover placeholder dialogue that they didn't clean up (still curious that they would bother to go through all the editing, with the Geth sounds and everything). However, the line about being "deserving" life or death (which I always thought was a bit underrated) does seem quite profound, and Thane has dialogue for the whole mission, so I don't think Chris l'Etoile had left at that point. I was wondering if the instances where Legion uses colloquial English might be remnants of the original concept of them gradually developing individuality during the course of ME2. This is what I surmised when I analyzed the lines of D.C. Douglas's test take, and if you sent Legion into the shaft during the assault on the Collector Base, they use "I" at one point. Legion also does this in one line near the end of their loyalty mission (when you inquire about the turrets in the server room), though this one was most likely supposed to be cut. (The subtitles say "we" but Legion uses "I" in the spoken dialogue; the sound file for the line where they use "we" actually exists, but it's not played correctly in-game.) Perhaps, as they gained individuality, Legion was supposed to talk in colloquial English more and more, and Patrick Weekes later picked up on this idea. However, it would still be a little weird as there are no other lines that suggest this, cut or in-game.

I actually rummaged through Thane's lines as well while playing around with the Legendary Explorer, and in his romance conversation with Shepard, he claims to have been dead for ten years:

Shepard: "I spent two years dead. Every moment seems irreplaceable now." Thane: "I spent ten years dead. I understand the feeling."

So, if I did my maths correctly, that means Thane was 22 when he met Irikah?

Oh, the alien races having cultural diversity among themselves would've been so cool! I think Wrex even has a grumpy response during one of the elevator convos in ME1 where he says "So humans have a diverse range of cultures, but Krogan are all the same?" It would've been so awesome if BioWare built on that.

Kasumi also has one of the most bitchy comments during Legion's loyalty mission (at 0:59 in this video), calling the Geth "fancy security mechs".

Though I guess technically, there aren't really any "pro-synthetic" characters in Mass Effect; interestingly though, according to the Codex entry about artificial intelligences, there are "advocacy groups" who argue that AIs should have the same rights as organics. The thing is, we never see or hear anything from these groups in the trilogy, so they basically only exist on paper.

If they actually wanted to introduce a pro-synthetic character, Kasumi would've been the opportunity to do so. The reason why robotics is such a big industry in Japan is because Japanese people have next to no reserves about it - in Western society, there's always this underlying apprehension, this fear that "the machines" will turn on humans one day. However, in Japan, that's simply not there, which is why so many of robots are used for social functions. So, if there's one country that's ever going to be tolerant of sentient machines, it's Japan.

But despite Kasumi being Japanese, she is a far cry from that - and that's why she feels so wasted to me. I suppose you could call me nitpicky for this (I'm a known stickler for details anyway), and admit that while an opinion may be predominant in a certain country/society, that doesn't mean every person has to share it. I still like Kasumi the way she is - it's just that whenever I look at her, I think about how she could've been so much more.

I don't intend to fundamentally change her character; she can still be playful and charming, and I actually could see her being one of the most open-minded, laid-back crew members. She could even act as a kind of mediator between Legion and Tali (because Tali would probably be way more open to talking to a human than a Geth, at least at the beginning). Also, if Kasumi was amenable to the concept of synthetic life, that would also make it feel less hypocritical if you keep Keiji's graybox (because he only continues to exist "digitally", if you want to view it that way).

Mass Effect 2 replay, recruiting Thane:

-There is quite a bit of autodialogue throughout this mission.

-As others have said, Seryna raises questions. Why did Nassana let her former head of security leave?

She kills shift workers that leave – at least, allegedly – but the former head of security can just walk out?

As we see with Thane and Shepard, that’s a big security risk.

-Why does Seryna want Nassana dead so badly?

She helps Thane. She helps Shepard on the chance that helping Shepard find Thane will end with Nassana dead. Nothing asked for in return.

This is a lot to do because you don’t like your former boss. Even if your boss is having people killed to protect her secrets. It seems personal – did Nassana kill some Seryna cared about?

-Seryna says she and Shepard will leave after shift workers clear out Tower Two.

However, there’s a salarian in the area fussing that’s he’s lost his family’s data because Nassana forced them out ASAP. He’ll get it once he’s allowed back in.

So it seems the towers have already been cleared out. If the salarian had been kicked out from an earlier shift, I presume he could have gone in when the next shift was permitted in.

-Seryna doesn’t ask if Shepard’s plan is to stop Thane or not until you’re in the car with them.

Considering she wants Thane to kill Seryna, she must be very confident Thane can take Shepard out if Shepard’s plan is to stop him.

-Letting the first salarian worker die is just cold, especially if you say his coworkers are on their own. There’s no reason to not help him.

-All the shift workers are salarian. Illium’s an asari dominated world, so they’re a minority on it. There’s probably some parallel to the real world in that and Nassana’s treatment of them.

-Kasumi about Thane helping the first group of salarians you find: That’s sweet. An assassin with a heart of gold.

Considering Kasumi is a thief with a heart of gold…

-Nassana’s essentially enslaved the salarians: They have to work to the end of their contract on threat of death. They don’t get overtime, and she’s quite willing to kill them when she wants them to leave.

This is probably legal on Illium.

-Huh. No one commented on me letting the mercenary who was up against the window go. Garrus always comments on that.

-Speaking of, the glass in these towers breaks way too easily. Nassana’s cheaping out on materials.

-If you go neutral on the salarian worker that points a gun at you, Kasumi calls him a “jumpy little lizard”.

Charming. Kasumi, you’re supposed to be better than that.

-If you choose any other option, Telon ends up passed out on the floor. It’s funny watching him swoon if you go paragon/renegade after skipping the renegade interrupt.

-The salarian workers do a lot for this mission. Without them, it would just be one long corridor of shooting. They also characterize Thane as a man who protects innocents before ever meeting him.

-I died so. Many. Times. On the windy bridge. Those drones that shoot missiles are awful, and what do you mean I can’t get a lock???

-The sun in the background when you finally meet Thane and Nassana adds a lot of drama to the cutscene.

-Jacob’s bitchiness to Thane is very odd. He never indicates an issue with mercenaries or assassins before or after this scene.

-As others have noted, Jacob’s claim he’s loyal to more than a paycheck is hypocritical. He left the Alliance because it had too much red tape, and he insists that he’s skeptical of Cerberus and will leave if it gives him reason to.

So that’s not loyalty to either employer. The closest he can say is that he’s loyal to his beliefs, but if so then the same could be said for Thane.

-If you go renegade with Thane and tell him you only hired him because he’s a good gun, he can bite back and reply that’s he’s working for you by choice and can leave at any time.

Nice. It’s always good to see someone push back against Shepard.

-You can tell Jacob to keep an eye on Thane.

This entire scene is so odd. I’m wondering if the original plan for Thane was different and it would have had him more ethically ambiguous?

Maybe you would have had Thane switch loyalties while he was on a mission by paying him more than his current employer. That would explain both Jacob’s and Shepard’s skepticism of his trustworthiness.

Just, something to explain this scene.

-If you go paragon, Thane says that he’s just a weapon. Weapons don’t kill, their wielders do.

I disagree. Thane chooses to be a weapon, ergo he has culpability for who he’s directed to kill.

“Just following orders” is not a get out of jail card.

Normandy

-Mordin’s loyalty mission is very abrupt. You only get one investigate option, and no real dialogue options.

Considering how talkative Mordin normally is, I suppose this curtness is a sign of his distress. No explanation for why Shepard’s not asking questions though.

-Samara says the code is 5000 sutras and covers every possible situation.

How long ago was this written? Because societies change over time. There are ethical questions that exist today that couldn’t have been imagined 500 years ago. What happens when one of those crop up?

Maybe this is one reason why asari society is so static – justicars decide what’s “correct” and kill everyone who disagrees with them. Makes it a bit difficult society to progress.

-And what happens when justicars disagree?

And I’m not accepting a cop out that the code causes all justicars to always come to the same conclusion. Look at how much blood has been spilled over human religious texts.

Are there factions of justicar that kill each other on sight? Did someone work out a truce so justicars with different interpretations politely avoid each other?

-Ah, time for another ME2 humanity is special moment. Humans are more individualist than any other species Samara has known.

Is this all humanity? Because as I recall, western society is normally considered more individualistic and eastern society is more collectivist. Did Bioware think that far?

-Thane had his eyes treated so he can see hanar bioluminescence. As a result he can’t see the difference between dark red and black.

That seems a tad dangerous for an assassin. Isn’t being able to tell colors apart critical for being able to blend in?

-When I choose investigate with Thane, there’s an option for other topics. However, this takes me back to the start menu. So what is is purpose? I can choose Return and other also go back to the Start menu.

-The drell situation with the hanar on Kahje is sad. It’s good they help each other, but it shouldn’t be a death sentence for the drell. Let them help hanar on other worlds that don’t make them sick.

-If you go neutral with Thane, he says he’s always considered himself dead to some degree.

Well, that’s fucked up. I’d like to have some words with the hanar that trained him.

-If you go paragon, he doubts your medical facilities and staff can do anything that the best hanar medical professionals have not been able to.

As others have pointed out: Buddy, the Normandy has Mordin fucking Solus on board. He cured a brand new multi species pathogen created by the Collectors working out of a back alley on Omega. Miracles are his specialty.

#mass effect #jacob taylor #thane krios #mass effect legion #kasumi goto #as you can see I'm also not the fastest to respond xD

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 4 years ago

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Newsflash: Dazai cares for Chuuya

Before reading any further, I will be talking about stormbringer, so spoilers ahead!! Translation credits go out to: @popopretty on tumblr, make sure to give this kind human some love and appreciation<3

Also if you want to read the first few chapters of stormbringer: @buraihatranslations is currently translating it, give them much love and appreciation as well, they deserve it!!

Honestly, I have been so obsessed with Soukoku lately and I think the reason behind this is because when it comes to Soukoku, their feelings for each other are not as easy to grasp as love or hate, it is much more profound than that. There is care, hurt, trust, resentment, companionship, bitterness, and consideration...And ironically enough, thats just the tip of the iceberg.

If we break down their individual feelings towards each other, it will be easier to understand their bond.

On Chuuya's end, his feelings are much more clear due to his expressive personality. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, he can try and hide what he feels towards Dazai but his true feelings tend to unravel easily.

He sometimes tries to mask his feelings towards Dazai by throwing insults, but his facial expressions are enough to contradict what he is saying.

Chuuya's feelings towards Dazai can be easier to comprehend. He obviously feels this certain betrayal due to the fact Dazai left the Port Mafia. Not to mention, he and Dazai have always had a rivalry relationship.

In the Soukoku wiki page, it is stated that Chuuya is aware of Dazai not experiencing a proper childhood, therefore allows him to act as childish as he can and lets him tease him relentlessly. I don't know how reliable this source is, but either way I think its worthy enough to add.

In the Dragon head conflict when Dazai was out of sight, Chuuya told Mori to forget about Dazai. That was until Hirotsu mentioned a microscope, Chuuya quickly realizes it was code language because he remembered a previous conversation where Dazai says he needs a microscope to be able to see Chuuya properly.

The moment he figured out it was a tracker, Chuuya did not hesitate to jump in and rescue Dazai. But here is the catch: No one but Chuuya knew about the microscope, if Chuuya really didn't care for Dazai he wouldn't have mentioned the microscope and kept all this under wraps, leaving Dazai in a mess.

Chuuya trusts Dazai with his life. He never hesitates to leave his life on Dazai's hands when it has to come to it. Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for years, for Chuuya to be able to trust Dazai that much is because Dazai also cares for him too, right?

The answer here is yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya. In a superficial level, it doesn't seem like Dazai truly cares, but I can assure you that he does care for him. Weather you like to think of his care in a platonic or romantic manner, the care Dazai has for Chuuya is undeniable and extremely significant for Dazai's character.

I think that stormbringer establishes this idea even further. There is one specific moment in this light novel that shows his genuine concern towards Chuuya's well being:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right, the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

This section in stormbringer is personally one of my favorites, this is a very rare moment between both of them, but especially for Dazai. Like I stated earlier Chuuya wears his emotions on his sleeves, therefore even if he tries to mask his care with insults, its still painfully noticable that he genuienly looks after Dazai. Chuuya also sometimes show a vulnerable side of himself to Dazai, especially after using corruption.

Dazai on the other hand is extremely unreadable. Its hard to understand his true intentions and if he really cares for people or only sees them as a pawn. In this moment though, Dazai was being painfully genuine. Dazai literally prioritized Chuuya over the mission. He was already thinking of coming up with an alternative plan just in case Chuuya refused, obviously the sucess rate of the alternative plan would be lesser than the actual plan Dazai had in mind, he choose Chuuya's wellbeing over a mission.

In this section, Dazai wasn't throwing jokes or witty remarks, he was being serious. Because Dazai knows how desperately Chuuya wants to be human. He knows how important being human is to Chuuya.

Dazai wasn't manipulating Chuuya by giving him the chance to decide, we can see that Dazai was literally showing a lot of hesitation when mentioning this to him, we also get to see what Dazai was thinking, and we can tell he wasn't thinking about manipulative his movements in any way. All of this wasn't coming out of manipulation, it was coming out of pure care.

After six steps, Dazai reached the stair. He stepped on the stair and started walking down. Three steps down the stair, he heard a *clang*, a cool sound of metal echoing behind him. It sounded like the metal was kicked by the sole of someones shoes. The moment Dazai realized what the sound was, Dazai turned around in surprise.

There was already no one at the top.

Dazai was dazed for a moment, then he loosened his lips and laughed.

"Trying to act cool, huh?" Dazai smiled, both annoyed and relieved. Then he turned on his radio and sent out his order. "Chuuya has sallied, everyone get ready for battle."

I personally love this part so much, relief washed over Dazai the moment he noticed that Chuuya was going to go through with the first plan, which proves my point that he wasn't manipulating him and how Dazai was under a lot of stress because he wasn't sure if the alternative plan would be as effective as his original one.

Yet he still was willing to go through the alternative plan if Chuuya refused, because Dazai values him and regards his wellbeing.

Dazai was being surprisingly gentle in this section, he was being honest. There was no ulterior motive behind his actions here, just a boy looking after his partner.

"So i'm going to send an order to my men to prepare for action... Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay." Chuuya turned to Dazai. "Why are you asking me such a thing?"

Dazai didn't answer right away.

That was an unusual expression. It's like he was trying to say something, but he had to arrange the words in his head to decide where he should start. An expression he rarely shows.

This was right before Dazai drops the bomb to Chuuya about the memory erasure command. He was even asking for Chuuya's opinion on sending his men to get ready, this was the first time Dazai ever showed actual concern without masking it with witty remarks. You can tell that Chuuya isn't used to this.

And when you think about it, when Dazai and Chuuya have missions together, Dazai always uses corruption as a last resort and he always allows Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not.

I personally belive that the main reason Chuuya trusts Dazai with using corruption is because The Sheep used to exploit his powers too much, but Dazai leaves the decision to use corruption up to Chuuya. Dazai understands the physical and mental toll corruption takes on Chuuya and therefore leaves the choice up to him.

Theres another section in stormbringer that I really enjoy, it doesn't necessairly show solicitude but I still think this should still be taken into consideration:

"You seem pretty confident that Chuuya is human, don't you?"

"I am," Dazai laughed with a sigh. "There is no way a man-made code could create such a personality that I detest so much."

Throughout the whole story, Dazai is more than determined that Chuuya is human. The main reason Dazai finds Chuuya so intresting is because of how frighteningly human Chuuya can be, because of the fact that he always wears his emotions on his sleeves, something Dazai rarely does himself. Thats personally a nice sentiment from Dazai's end, even when Chuuya struggles completely when it comes to believing in his own humanity, Dazai still can't help but see him as a human being.

Also I am aware that Dazai literally said he detests Chuuya here but he also sighed and laughed while stating this, showing us that he isn't being serious about hating him.

And its not only in stormbringer were he shows his concern towards Chuuya. In fact, in this following manga pannel Dazai is telling Chuuya that if he is willing to listen him, he will stage his own escape so that Chuuya doesn't get punnished.

Honestly, if Dazai didn't care enough for Chuuya, he wouldn't have mentioned this to him. Chuuya didn't care enough to realize that he literally unwillingly freed Dazai which would get the pm mad at him, so the fact that Dazai is literally helping him out is no doubt out of care for him. If Dazai didn't have any regard for Chuuya he would've not staged his escape or mentioned anything to Chuuya, eventually incriminating him.

There are many misconceptions when it comes to Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya, people think that he doesn't care for him due to the fact that he left the Port Mafia, leaving Chuuya behind. But heres the thing: Dazai's intentions had nothing to do with Chuuya. He left the organization for his own good, he left it to fullfill Oda's wish.

"If Dazai cared for Chuuya then why didn't he take Chuuya with him?" the reason is simple, he knows how much the PM means to Chuuya. In stormbringer it is shown that Chuuya feels as if his humanity is attached to the people he is loyal to, in this case its the port mafia. Verlaine wanted to get rid of the pm because he believed that the pm is what kept Chuuya's humanity, eventually making Chuuya believe that he is only human if he stays loyal to the pm. Dazai knows this. Thats exactly why he didn't take Chuuya with him or even explains to Chuuya why he left, he knows it would be selfish to basically rip Chuuya's sense of humanity apart.

I have a feeling that if Dazai told Chuuya about the real reason he left the Port Mafia, Chuuya will not only feel conflicted about being in the pm, but he would also have an inner conflict with himself as a human.

People also think Dazai may not really care for him because of the fact that after the fight against Lovecraft he actualy deserted him, maybe that part was truly just supposed to be seen as simple humor, but either way I want to talk about it. Chuuya's only request to Dazai was to take him back to base safe, so why did Dazai leave Chuuya behind?

I mean he has carried Chuuya back to saftey before with no problem, for example in stormbringer when Chuuya uses corruption for the first time Dazai carries him back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so that he could say goodbye to his passing friends.

The reson behind this is because Mori needs to know that unlike Dazai, Chuuya is absolutely loyal to him. Leaving Chuuya the way he did will make Mori believe that these two really are at each others throats and that Dazai is insignificant to Chuuya. Making it seem that for Chuuya, the mafia comes first before anything else.

Therefore Dazai established Chuuya's saftey within the mafia since not only does Mori want these two to be hostile with each other, he doesn't want Chuuya to eventually turn against him if he truly found out more about Dazai's true reason of departure. Then again, this isn't canon but it is a logical assumption.

Not to mention that although Dazai did leave him behind, he folded Chuuya's coat and hat before taking his leave. There is also an an extra chapter where Ozaki Kouyou was talking with Chuuya but when he left he forgot his coat, which made Kouyou came across the coat; where she noticed a badge sewed inside saying "Name: Hatrack", she smiled fondly thinking to herself that some things just never change, in this case, Dazai and Chuuya's bond.

Dazai literally took his time to sew this into his coat just to tease him, it was a simple gesture but it shows us how their dynamic will never change. No matter what these two go through, they will always share a bond that consists on teasing, trust and underlying care.

All of this actually makes that theory of Dazai planting a bomb under Chuuya's car for the sole reason that the PM doesn't find Chuuya as an acomplice who aided Dazai on his escape much more feasable.

For Dazai to just plant a bomb under Chuuya's car with no motive makes no sense because if Dazai's true intentions were to simply mess with Chuuya, he would've most likely made it clear at that time. Dazai always has an underlying motive behind his actions, and in this case it is very likely that he did that for Chuuya's sake.

Don't get me wrong, I am aware that the bomb incident could've just been a comedic moment and I shouldn't look too much into it, but there is still a posibility, right?

These two hold so much trust and care for one another, yet they also hold a lot of bitterness and resentment. In the end the good aspects of their dynamic outweighs the bad.

Either you see these two in a platonic or romantic way, you can't tell me that their bond isn't significant.

Thank you so much for reading!! I wanted to talk about this for a while because I feel like people misinterpret Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya a lot so I hope this clears up things a bit<3

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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago

Text

bands | thirteen

[ series masterlist ]

summary: jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.

pairing: stripper!reader x idol!jjk

genre: (18+) strip club/nightlife au, post grad au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, slight degradation, trouble stirring behind the scenes if you squint, yeonjun and soobin (txt) make an appearance but also as reg 18 yr olds lol

tags: @brightcolorsoffendme @min-nicoleee @eggbutnotyolk @ra-mun-e @miinoongi @jimidol @ppeachyttae @thebeebi @bluesharksandfish @kooafraid @liriaus @thisartemisnevermisses @ggukkieland @preciouschimine @sunniejinnie @cypheruby @cyb3rbab3 @masterlists101 @awhnamjoon @redhedhoseok @wooya1224 @taeismydeath @jikookiekosmos @un2-verse @aynsx @wearenot7withu (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"BTS' Jeon Jungkook rumored to be dating stripper from nightclub!"

"Jungkook is no longer single, ladies!"

"Jeon Jungkook is dating a stripper? Why the hell is he doing that?"

"Who the hell does she think she is? I bet she's not even pretty."

"Jungkook fell for a stripper? Out of all people? Damn, and I thought he was better than that."

Jungkook has been tired, the rumors constantly being spread day in and day out. But, it still didn't mean he was gonna say shit to prove himself to people out there. He didn't need to give anybody answers. Hell, this was strictly between you and him and that's how he wants to keep it.

Fuck every single one of you who didn't wanna be behind him and support him. Don't even think about calling yourself a fan of his if that's your mindset.

He could truly care less. He was happy and he felt ten times better than he has in a really long time. It's unfortunate how people love to stay narrow minded. The only thing that bothered him was the fact that it was so unfair for you - how they stuck to that stripper image, rather than really getting to know you beneath the surface.

But it's not like anyone else deserved to know the real you, not after all this shit. And he was gonna keep it that way, and protect you.

"Hey, don't listen to any of that shit, okay?" Jungkook says as he meets you in your car in the BigHit building garage. "None of that matters to me."

"I know, but Kook." You look at him. "Your career, BigHit literally might not even want me here and-and—"

"Then I'll make sure they understand it's not an issue, because it's really fucking not." He says, getting irritated only at the thought of the company giving him issues over you. He watches as you slightly frown, causing him to sigh and soften his own facial expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get worked up like that. It's just annoying how people are narrow-minded. This has absolutely nothing to do with you." You give him a small smile. "Come on, I'll walk you." You silently nod and hop out of your car. You follow beside him, your stomach in knots having to meet with their performance director. This meant you'd also most likely run into the rest of Bangtan.

In which happens to turn true pretty quickly.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok says loudly down the hallway as he approaches the both of you. He does nothing besides smile, curiosity definitely filling his eyes.

"This is Y/N. Y/N, Hoseok hyung." He holds out his hand for you to shake, his head tilting ever so slightly because you know he's familiar with your face. He's just trying to remember from where. Or, he has recognized you, but he's trying his hardest not to say anything.

Cause they have seen all of you, especially in that fishnet bodysuit.

"Hi! Nice to meet you! You can call me Hobi for short. Are you meeting with someone?" You nod.

"Yeah." Is all you can reply with as you shyly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Nice, goodluck!"

"Is everyone else here?" Jungkook asks, making Hobi nod.

"Yeah, but they're still running through some stuff in the dance studio. I just ran off to take a break."

"Okay." Jungkook looks at you. "Follow me, he's in one of the private studio rooms." You both part ways from Hoseok, the need to clutch onto Jungkook's arm immensely strong right now. You hold yourself off though, because even with passing a few female staff members, you catch them looking at you oddly with the way you're walking side by side with Jungkook.

Nope. Don't even think about it, Y/N. It doesn't matter.

Jungkook knocks softly on a door, the middle of it being made up of entirely frosted glass so it's difficult to see inside. Their performance director opens the door swiftly and welcomes you in with a warm smile, stepping aside to let you in.

"I've got it from here, Jungkookie. Thank you." Jungkook nods but tries to peek through the door to get one last glimpse of your face before he shuts it fully. "How are you doing, Y/N?" He sits in front of you, leaning onto his knees with his hands fully clasped together.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good, tired." He chuckles. "Thanks for taking my call earlier and for meeting at such short notice on a weekend. I had a couple of things come up and didn't want to push things off until later." You smile.

"It's no problem."

"Jungkook tells me a lot about you."

"Does he now?" You chuckle and tilt your head to the side.

"Says you're a really good person. Super hardworking. Told me a little bit about your situation with your brother."

"Mmyeah, it's a little complicated."

"It's alright, no need to get into the details." He smiles before letting out a small sigh. "It's incredibly rare for me to hear Jungkook speak like that. In general. He's usually very closed off, doesn't like to let people in much. He really respects you, you know? Cares about you a whole lot." You slightly blush.

"I'm still getting used to it." He chuckled.

"Look, I know you've been worrying because of where you've been and all that, but I want to reassure you that none of it matters. I don't like to focus on all that. You're here as you, not her." He says, putting another pronoun to your stripper persona.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." He nods. There's a small pause before he begins to speak again.

"I could really use some help around here if you're still interested? The boys are becoming a lot for me to handle."

"Ah-uh, yeah! Of course I am." You found yourself stuttering at the sudden offer. Was this fucking real?! "But, you are aware of where me and Jungkook are at, right?" You ask, trying to be completely transparent and honest about their relationship. He nods and waves his hand out.

"As long as you keep it professional here, right?" You nod.

"Right."

"Come, let me show you around really quickly and have you formally meet the boys." You swallowed the lump in your throat. Fucking great. He definitely didn't know they've all seen your titties and pussy out during Yoongi's birthday, and now here you were - about to meet them again in this environment. Hobi was awkward enough even though he tried not to be.

Surprisingly, Jungkook wasn't waiting outside in the hallway like you thought he would be, but the tour commences and the PD is taking you around pretty quickly. You feel even more awkward and somewhat alone [even though you weren't] without Jungkook nearby, but you chug along and say your hello's to the people you're introduced to. He finally brings you into the dance studio, where there's loud ass music blasting, Jungkook, the boys and some backup dancers in front of the mirrors fooling around.

"Aye boys, come here real quick." You and Jimin lock eyes and your body suddenly gets tense. The room feels 10x hotter than it already is, especially when he slowly walks over and clenches his jaw. He is literally seeping with hate right now, maybe actually disgust, and he doesn't even try to hide it. Most of them for sure recognize you, but they seem to brush it off and give you a big wave/smile anyway.

"Last, that's Jimin - Jimin, Y/N." You give Jimin a fake smile, and the only thing his ass can reciprocate is the smallest, tight-lipped smile you have ever seen. You've never even seen your mom do that when she got mad or upset with you.

"Hi." Is all you can say.

"Sup." He looks at you before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Ooookay?" Namjoon furrows his brows as he watches Jimin walk away so rudely. "The hell was that about?"

"I knew that was Kookie's girlfriend! Maybe Jiminie remembers seeing her titties and shit too, needs to walk away before he gets his ass beat by him." Yoongi says lowly behind Namjoon.

"Yeah, like you're any better." Namjoon says, looking at Yoongi weirdly.

"I mean, we did see her practically naked." Jin says, chiming into the discussion.

"I touched her." Yoongi's mouth slightly hangs down. "I touched her."

"Go ahead, say it louder so Kookie can hear you." Jin nods sarcastically. "Go, say it!"

"No, stop." Yoongi's cheeks turn red while shaking his head and laughing. "He'll literally launch me out the window with one hand."

"Good."

"You asked for her to sit on your lap too, bro!"

"I was joking, and it's not like she did it anyway!"

"Whatever, I'm keeping my birthday deep in my memory storage."

"Clean slate for her so it should be for you too, my guy." Namjoon says as he has enough of their conversation.

You look at Jungkook who is silently standing there, looking like a big dork with a huge smile on his face and his thumbs up. You give him the tiniest nod before proceeding to follow the PD out.

"So?!" Jungkook dashes to meet you in their waiting room area, where an abnormally large picture of Jimin posing oddly hung up.

"He said he'll send me all the info and papers and stuff!" You respond excitedly as Kook hugs you and quickly swings you around.

"See, I knew it would work out!" He puts you down. "Are you gonna tell Kai?" You shook your head.

"Not today at least, it's his birthday and I don't wanna take away from that. It's his day." Jungkook smiles at you.

"Text me when you've picked him up? I should be home by then."

"Okay." You blush and back away, making Jungkook look at you with confusion. "I have to keep it professional here, duh."

"Ah I see." He chuckles. "That won't last very long."

"Jungkook." You whine.

"There's a lot of private rooms here and—"

"I'm not listening, sorry. I think Kai is suddenly calling me." You cover your ears as you begin to walk away, giving him one last smile before leaving him to the rest of rehearsals and whatever else they're doing. He laughs to himself as he waves you off, excited to get through the day so he can just spend time with you and Kai.

As the hours go on and it's about time for you to pick Kai up, you quickly stop by the store because you're a procrastinator and didn't buy Kai's birthday gift any earlier. You felt bad you weren't able to find the shoes he wanted, but you at least snagged the video game he had been talking about for a couple of days now. Before walking into the arcade, you made sure to write your birthday card and slip some more money into it before shoving it in your bag to give to him later.

"Your pretty sister is here." Yeonjun grabs Kai by the shoulder as he finishes up a game.

"Yeah, and you're too young for her."

"Age is nothing but a number. It's only like.. 6 years apart."

"Besides, she's taken, dude. Sorry." Kai snorts as he watches Yeonjun's smile fade. "You would have never had the chance."

"You're mean."

"I'm mean, or you just have really high, unrealistic expectations?" The rest of their friends laugh as they follow Kai over to you.

"Hey!" You smile at all his friends.

"Hiiiiii Y/N." They all say in unison, some waving in awe, while the others shyly dug their hands into their pockets. "Birthday boy, you all good to go? Got some good Loco Moco waiting for you."

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Happy birthday again, Kai! Get online later!" Soobin yells out.

"Yeah, yeah." He says, waving them off as he follows you out to your car.

"You guys run through the entire arcade?" Kai laughs.

"Pretty much." He sinks into his seat, legs damn near touching the glove compartment with how long he is. "I'm honestly so excited for Loco Moco. It's been years!"

"It has not been that long." You laughed.

"You're right, it's been months." Kai looks out the window. "Wait, you're passing the road to get to our go-to shop though?"

"Cause I found a better place."

"How is there a better place when that one was already supreme?!"

"Hey, trust me on this okay?" You laugh. Kai starts telling you about his day and how so many people he knew from school had been messaging him happy birthday. He truly looked his happiest today and it was all you could ask for. Though at the same time, your heart slightly sank at the fact that he'd be going off to uni soon and staying at the dorms. He was just growing up way too fast, and you wanted to spend as much time as you could with him now before he was too occupied being a college boy.

You slipped yourself past Jungkook's security, parking in the one guest spot they have in the garage that's closest to the elevator. Kai doesn't really question it and hops out anyway, his hands in his pockets as he follows you into the elevator and onto Jungkook's floor.

"You ready, kid?"

"Is this some like, Michelin Star Loco Moco restaurant?"

"Ah, I guess you could say that." You knocked on the door, hearing music playing in the background. Jungkook opens the door and Kai's eyes widen.

"Oh shit, that's Jungkook?" Kook laughs and steps aside to let you both in. "Sis why—what—how come you didn't tell me we were seeing your boyfriend? I look like a mess!" He says lowly.

"You don't!"

"Hey Kai! Happy Birthday!" Jungkook says smiling, making Kai actually blush. He's cheeks are tinted with a rosy color and he suddenly gets all shy.

"Thanks."

"Your brother's tall." Jungkook looks at him up and down.

"Looking at an 18 year old 6 footer."

"Must be nice."

"Go sit." Kai silently nods as he sits awkwardly on Kook's couch, while you go and check in on him in the kitchen.

"Is he always that shy?"

"No. Just with you, apparently. He's not even that shy around girls." You chuckle as he places a quick kiss on your head. "Need my help?" You still ask even though the plates are neatly prepared already.

"Not really." He smiles down at you. "You hungry though?"

"Starving, actually." Your eyes light up at the plates. "Ouuuuuu, yum."

"Honestly, I think this batch might be better than my first."

"Still honored to be your guinea pig." You carry a plate over to Jungkook's coffee table in the living room.

"Oh shit, that looks amazing." Kai says, slipping himself down from the couch to the floor so he could get a good whiff of the plate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook hands you the remote before walking into his room. "Pick something."

"Here, birthday boy. Help me choose."

"Let's watch Soul on Disney+." At this point, Jungkook comes out of his room with a wrapped present, his eyes locked on the TV.

"Ooh, I keep seeing this everywhere! Niceeeee." Jungkook says, smiling with Kai nodding and already digging into his plate. "By the way, this is for you." You shoot him a look as he sits on the floor by you, watching as Kai unwraps the present. Kai's eyes light up as he sees a shoebox underneath the wrapping, quickly flipping the lid open to reveal those blue Air Jordans he wanted.

"Kook?!" You say lowly, making him smile at you and gently pinch your side.

"Holy shit!" He holds out a shoe, only for him to immediately shake his head and close the box again. "Jungkook, I can't take this." Kai says.

"No, it's your birthday."

"Yeah, but isn't this expensive? You've already done so much for me and my sister, I-I don't want to—"

"Kai, it's cool. If it's one thing you can do to repay me, it's to take my present." You literally want to cry at how sweet Jungkook is being with your brother. He had been good to you, no doubt, but this was one thing you didn't expect from him at all. Quite frankly, you had forgotten you mentioned the shoes to him. The fact that he actually remembered and kept his word.

"Okay." Kai says, gently setting the box down aside before looking at Jungkook with a small smile on his face. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. Like, even with the food and everything. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." You give him a soft smile before digging into your food while Soul was already off to a start. Kai and Jungkook devour their food together, with you following shortly behind as Jungkook brings over a small ice cream cake from his fridge for Kai to blow his candles on. After the boys had helped themselves to a good serving of the cake, they started getting hyper and pulled up Smash Bros on Kook's Nintendo Switch [as if Kai hadn't played enough games today]. It started to get intense; the boys jumping and yelling everywhere, bouncing off of the walls, with you getting pulled into the competition every now and then. Even though you knew you'd lost over and over again, you happily joined in anyway, seeing how excited your brother was - plus, it was always a bonus to hear Jungkook's loudly obnoxious, nerdy laugh.

"I WIN!"

"Hey, hey, hey. I let you win because it's your birthday." Jungkook said, making Kai laugh as he crashed to the floor.

"Sure." Kai huffed and puffed. "Crap, I'm tired. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight. We should start heading out, bubba." You patted Kai's chest gently.

"What? No, it's late. Why don't you two just stay here?" You suddenly remembered you've had Kai's shit in your trunk since you dropped him off at Yeonjun's this morning. You didn't have any change of clothes, but that could easily be fixed with Jungkook's closet.

"Only if the queen wants, she's driving."

"It's late, baby." Jungkook says to you softly. "No way I'm letting you two head out there."

"Okay." You give him a small smile before handing your keys. "Can you do me a favor?" He chuckles.

"What is it?"

"Kai's duffle bag is in my trunk." He nods and takes your keys.

"I got it. Kai, you can take the guest room or my office room." Jungkook says with his 3-bedroom apartment having ass. "I have my computer in my office room though, and a pull out bed. I don't know how comfy you'll be."

"It's cool, I'll just take your guest room. I always bring my laptop and switch whenever I sleep at my sister's." Kai says getting up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook says, toothlessly smiling at the both of you, completely endeared at how alike you two were - even down to the fact that you both said thank you for every little thing. If this was a result of Kai being close to you and having you as pretty much his mother figure, then Jungkook wouldn't know what to do with his feelings. He felt butterflies every time he thought about how cute and sweet you were, and he was always excited to be around you.

Jungkook does a quick jog to your car, grabbing Kai's Nike duffle from your trunk before jogging back to the elevator and back to his apartment. He walks in to see Kai helping you clean up the remaining dishes in the sink, tidying the rest of the things in his kitchen.

"Thank you." Jungkook says himself, a little unfamiliar with saying such a thing to be completely honest.

"You're welcome." You say softly, wiping your hands on his hand towel. "Off to bed, or are you gonna go online with your friends?"

"I'll see what they're up to, but I'm pretty beat. Today was fun." Kai smiles at the both of you. "I really appreciate it." You ruffle his hair a bit before gently pushing him towards his bedroom for the night.

"Bathroom's right over there, help yourself to anything you need."

"Don't stay up too late."

"Only if you aren't too loud." You gasp while Jungkook laughs out loud.

"Kai!"

"Hey, I'm just being honest. Please remember that I'm right in this room."

"Oh my god, go to bed." You shove him inside the room and shut his door. "Don't even say a word." You look at Jungkook shyly as you hurriedly brush past him to get into his room - even though Jungkook is literally right behind you with those long ass legs of his, making every stride so much easier for him to catch up to you.

"What's your outfit of choice tonight, pretty lady?" He shuts his door behind him as you start to make your way into his closet.

"Hm, I'll just wear this plain black--" You unfold it. "Balenciaga? Okay, I definitely can't just wear this to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Because this is like, name brand and everything."

"So?" He shrugs. "Just wear it, babygirl. It's not gonna make much of a difference, you're wearing it either way." You do a slight pout before you start to slip out of your clothes to get into his shirt. You make his way to his bathroom to take a little tinkle when you notice another toothbrush sitting next to his. A pink toothbrush, next to his blue one.

"Why do you have two toothbrushes?" You wash your hands as he comes in to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed.

"That's yours." Your eyes light up at his statement.

"Mine?"

"I figured since you'd be over more, it'd be easier for you." He furrows his brows lightly. "Unless.. you didn't want--" You press a kiss against his lips, his hands resting on your arms to keep you close.

"No, I did want that. Thank you."

"Of course, baby." He pecks your forehead.

"By the way, way to make me look like such a bad sister!" You say as you start getting your toothbrush ready.

"Why? The shoes?"

"The shoes, the Loco Moco, the games, the ice cream cake." You laughed. "I literally got him a video game and some money."

"I mean, he is turning 18. I wanted to help make it as memorable as possible."

"I appreciate you a lot. Really."

"I appreciate you too." Your eyes widen as you brush your teeth.

"Waaaaow, say thaht wun mohr tiyme." You say, pulling a Jungkook while brushing your teeth.

"Eye apprushiate yoh toh." You giggle. The both of you finish getting ready for bed before slipping into his warm sheets. Jungkook never goes to sleep early, however, he makes sure all the lights are off and that the show he's watching isn't too loud. You have no idea what's going on in his show, but you lay on his chest to watch for a little bit until you feel yourself getting a little more sleepy. He's holding you close, his hand brushing through your hair softly, causing tingles to ripple through your body.

"Kook."

"Yes, baby?"

"You make me happy." You say sleepily as you hung him tighter. He smiles down at you, your eyes now shut close as you slowly start to drift into a deep sleep. He presses a light kiss against your head, fingers still in your hair.

"You make me happy too, sweetheart."

568 notes · View notes

kdramabrainrotstation · 3 years ago

Note

on a related note, I’d love your HCs / AUs on how gaon will feel/react when he learns that yohan was the one who alerted soohyun to his ordeal in ep13, while he was bleeding out himself. when/how does he find out? what does he do? thank you!

i had to rewatch that scene because i'm so mad at myself that i personally didn't get hung up on that fact. yohan had literally been shot and not only did he get back up and walk up all those fuckin stairs but his thought process had nothing to do with his own injuries. it was all about how furious he was with sunah and what she did to k and then when he saw the video of the riots and gaon's involvement, his instant train of thought was 'i have to help him'

but since he couldn't, he called someone he knew would.

which makes me think really heavily about that bit itself. just...yohan's perception of soohyun. we all know the two don't get along because of their blatantly opposing views and gaon's involvement on either side. yohan thinks she meddles too much, and he also knows her suspicion of him contributes to gaon's suspicion of him. but he also knows that she is very, very important to gaon, and he's observed her during their many brief interactions closely enough to know gaon is extremely precious to her too.

i don't think it was a matter of not being prideful or looking past his disagreement with soohyun (i don't think he hates her--he just thinks she tries to get too involved), or anything of that nature. i think that yohan simply weighed out the options and knew right off the bat that there was no way his staggering, bleeding ass was going to stand a chance at getting to gaon--let alone saving him from getting a beating. he knew that no matter how mad soohyun was at gaon, she would go help him if she knew he was in danger.

i respect a lot that there was no change in character for either of them during that conversation. yohan kept it simple, soohyun didn't thank him--they both just did what they needed to do.

on that note, i feel like gaon wouldn't find out from yohan just saying it. yohan knows that soohyun is a touchy subject for gaon, even after gaon learns that yohan isn't responsible for her death. on top of that, yohan doesn't expect praise for it--it was just a necessary action to protect someone important to him. so chances are, gaon brings it up.

and i bet it's lightheartedly, too. i'm picturing a year or two post-canon, in any setting really. yohan and elijah could be just visiting from switzerland or gaon could be out there with them, or they could all be living together in the mansion once more. doesn't matter, really. anywho, gaon probably mentions it offhandedly without even thinking about it. maybe there's something going on in the slums again that has gaon bringing it up, and he just wonders aloud, "i was lucky soohyun knew where to find me...wait, how did she know where to find me?" because i doubt he believed her fully when she said she heard it on the police radio.

and when yohan doesn't answer, gaon has his answer. he probably doesn't know much about that day, considering all that had happened. in canon he learns that yohan got shot but there's so much going on that they're busy with that he doesn't really react to it. But it occurs to him then that the times line up about perfectly, and when soohyun came to rescue him, it was around the same time that yohan had been shot.

gaon has grown a lot by the end of the show. there are a lot of details he doesn't pick up on in the drama that at the end of it they all come together and make sense. he's very attuned to yohan though, throughout the entire course of the story, so it would shock him that he didn't make the connection earlier. and because we all know gaon is a very emotional person, he would immediately be picturing yohan bleeding from a gunshot wound, calling up soohyun.

how would he react? how would he feel? these are very good questions. i feel like seeing yohan alive during his moment of realization will be comforting to him, because obviously if yohan had died on that day, he'd have found out the truth much sooner. but at the same time, the guy had chosen to call up soohyun rather than an ambulance or someone else from his undercover team.

gaon probably pries the entire story from yohan there. about sunah and her partner in crime, and about how k died. about yohan climbing and then descending all those stairs and calling up soohyun halfway down them. about his threat to destroy sunah. about everything covering a subject the both of them didn't realize was very painful for them.

gaon is an empath. he's very quick to question how someone would feel in a given situation. when he's talking to the priest about yohan as a child, his instinct isn't to assume the worst based on that story--it's to wonder what the reason could be for such behavior. what could a younger yohan be thinking that would push him to do the things he did? when he saw the kids beating each other as a form of play, gaon didn't judge the children because he understood why they were doing it. court case after court case, he sat back and wondered how every person in that courtroom must feel.

so when yohan tells him all about what happened on that day (gaon will pry the details out we all know he will), gaon hones in on how yohan must have been feeling. and i don't think even for a second it would cross his mind that yohan and soohyun had been at odds at the time. that part wouldn't really matter to him because he knows it didn't matter to yohan at the time. what would stick to him would be the fact that not only had k just been killed, but yohan had been in the process of dying.

so yeah, he'd prod about it, a la "why didn't you call lawyer ko or an ambulance?" and yohan would tell him over the book he's not really paying attention to anymore that he hadn't wanted to put them in danger. and gaon would be a bit miffed. probably shove him a little like soohyun would have shoved him before her death. he'd remind yohan that he had been bleeding out at the time.

and then yohan would simply tell him he'd needed to get home to elijah, and gaon would get even madder, because he'd subjected his niece to the sight of him covered in blood. explaining that sunah had been there when he'd gotten home will do nothing to soften the blow either. gaon would be too hung up on how yohan could have died and left both him and elijah alone, to the point that yohan would likely have to shut him up in a different way.

as for that different way, maybe he just comically reaches over and covers gaon's mouth, or maybe he shoves food in it. hell, i wouldn't put it past a post-canon yohan to go to more physical means to do so either. how you interpret that last bit is up to you. regardless, gaon would be forced to acknowledge through any of those actions that yohan is very much alive, and he's not planning on reenacting the scene any time soon.

and gaon gets either food, physical contact, or a big ol' smooch out of it, so he'll cool down pretty quickly.

on a more serious note, however, i definitely think that gaon will be flattered/appreciative of yohan's decision, but he already knows by now just what kind of person yohan is, so once it percolates for a while, he'll realize it isn't all that surprising. he'd have done the same thing to help yohan had the shoe been on the other foot. in fact, he'd probably have been even more self-sacrificing.

i imagine during canon, this has the potential to get a lot more intense, and we are all familiar with how gaon and yohan arguing at one another in the study usually goes. wouldn't be mad if it, hrmm, escalated a little more lmao.

either way, gaon one billion percent adores yohan, so once it sinks in, he'll probably just have to add another percent or twelve to that adoration to make up for it. it's important to keep in mind that the two of them had been at odds during that time. yohan had been in the process of trying to accept a permanent severing of his relationship with gaon and gaon had been processing, well, everything. the fact that yohan still ached to protect him even in that particular moment says a lot.

tl;dr: they're in love your honor.

#the devil judge #tdj #kang yohan #kim gaon #gahan #you probably didn't ask for all of this nonnie #but i couldn't stop once i got started lmfao #i love love love talking gahan #i love love love talking yohan #god god god #my feels are multiplying all over again lmfao #it's over 9000

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