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thoraeth · 11 months ago

Text

Words: 1800

TW: some violence, language, abusive family, morally grey characters, angst, physical self-consciousness.

Synopsis: Business is a war, war is a business; the Cross Guild knows it very well. When a partner requires a marriage of state, someone has to take a bullet for the team and that someone is Buggy.

Chapter 1 - You Do

CH2 > | Read on Ao3

They all laugh.

A violent, sour burst of laughter runs through the crowded chapel as the groom makes his entrance.

Everyone turn back to get a glimpse of that spectacle: under the bright stained-glass windows, he’s crawling on the floor, rolling over the red velvet carpet.

Two men are walking behind him. One is wearing a wide brimmed black hat, a huge sword on his back. The other, smoking a chunky cigar with a lazy grin, keeps kicking the groom forward.

The trio stops at the altar, leaving the soon-to-be husband on his knees. The poor thing is now a tangle of hair and ripped clothes, wailing in pain. And yet he does nothing to fight back or escape the ruthless amusement around him, he just lowers his head and grows quiet.

A noblewoman comes towards them. She's slender, tall, extremely elegant. She reaches for the smoking man with her hand, expecting a courteous hand-kissing in vain.

“It’s lovely to see you back in Fugu Island.”

“Cut the small talk, Lady Read. Hand over the contract.”

The woman replies with a stiff smile. ‘The manners of this rat suit his hideous scarred face’ she thought ‘Better settle the matter quickly and send these pirates back at sea’.

“In due time. Is this him?” she pointed to the man on the floor

“You asked for the boss.”

“Indeed. And yet, know that I see it…” she giggled “Married to a clown!”

Laughter again. In the front row, guests stand up smirking and whispering to each other. The ones in the middle hold an agitated woman: she's rapidly breathing in her white dress, face hidden under a thick veil. Lady Meara Read grabs her arm and pushes her on the floor, next to her designated husband.

“Crocodile, Mihawk.” Meara says “May we proceed?”

“Let’s make this quick.”

“As you wish, milady.”

“Very well then. High Priest, when you’re ready.”

As an old man in religious attire mutters incomprehensible words, the wedding ceremony starts.

It could have been a normal event, except for one detail: the couple is completely ignored. No vows, no touching, no “I do”. Both the spouses keep their eyes fixed on the ground, absent minded while their companions force gold wedding bands on their fingers. Half an hour later, those fatal words:

“Buggy the Clown, Ava Read, I pronounce you man and wife.”

The veiled woman feels numb and weak, finding it difficult to think straight. It’s her actual wedding and it’s all so sad. Not that she’d ever hope for a fairytale, but this is just bitter. An old dress, those dirty herbs in her hands… and a man who doesn’t even want to be there.

Ava tilts her head to take a look at her assigned companion.

He coughs every now and then and his clown face is swollen, covered in scratches and cuts. She stares at the long blue hair that covers his shoulders and forehead, noticing knots and dirt he probably got from the aisle floor.

The pirate must have felt observed, because he turns his head towards the bride: two stunning blue eyes meet Ava but the sheer rage pervading the man’s face makes her drop her gaze immediately. ‘What if he’s as violent as the other two…’ she thinks, her stomach clenching.

Suddenly Meara and the Cross Guild men are upon them.

“Up, lovebirds, time for business.” the scarred man grunts.

He and his fellow drag Buggy and Ava away, while Lady Meara addresses the rest of the room in a stilted tone: “Nobles of Fugu, our family really appreciated your presence here today. Please enjoy the feast that is waiting for you at Read Manor.”

The guests slowly walk away, leaving the chapel empty, deadly silent. No one’s in sight and negotiations kick off.

“Now that this charade is done, how long till you speak to Celestial dragons?”

“It will take some time, Crocodile. I’ll urge them, but they notoriously take their time to answer lower relatives.”

“They better change their mind quickly.”

“Manners.”

“Excuse him, Lady Read.” the swordsman interrupts “But indeed, we must hurry. We can’t protect Fugu if we are not allowed to move our men legally.”

“What?! You won't do anything until Cross Guild is given clearance again? Pirates could attack anytime!”

“Our hands are tied” said Crocodile, leaning against the altar “you insisted on doing things the noble way.”

“We respected your terms, milady, but there are consequences to any decision.” added Mihawk.

“Right, so you did it all for nothing. Congrats, m-i-l-a-d-y.”

Buggy’s high-pitched voice comes from the altar's steps. He’s sitting hunched over, his cheeks squished against his knuckles.

“Shut your fucking mouth or I'll hook you.”

“You what?” the clown screams “I did what you two told me, I played the fool and behaved. What do you want now?”

“Buggy, please calm down.” Mihawk says gently.

“I'm calm. Very calm. But maybe I should act like my fake wife and pretend I don't exist.”

Ava stands right in front of him and she feels her heart sinking. Ears ringing from the nerves and the sickness, she forces herself to say something but words don’t come out. Meara steps forward, her voice cold and stiff. “You should be thankful to have a noble wife, jester.”

“You all forced me, I needed none of this. You could have just paid normal Berry as a normal person.”

“We are aristocracy, this is the way we seal a deal.”

“Who cares, it's stupid!”

“And yet you’re here because our ancestors married into people who can now save your venture.”

“To hell with you all! I’m out of here.”

Buggy sprints on his feet, but he feels awkwardly weak and dizzy. He tries to detach. Nothing happens.

“Really guys?” he yells, furious. “You’ve put seastone on me?”

Crocodile and Mihawk exchange confused looks. As far as they know, there is no seastone nearby, although Crocodile is now wishing he had brought some to keep that idiot at bay.

Buggy waves and pinches his captain coat, looking carefully around his arms and legs, swearing under his breath.

Mihawk approaches him tensely and grabs one of his wrists.

“Lady Meara, this is not part of our agreement.” His golden eyes pierce the noblewoman as he speaks.

“I couldn’t risk any unpleasant surprise.”

The swordsman shows Buggy his ringed finger. With an angry grimace, the blue haired jester takes his wedding band off and toss it at the two women. “We’re done here.” he says, stomping faster and faster towards the chapel’s doors.

“Wai-”

Meara gasps as Crocodile appears behind her and puts his sharp hook to her throat.

“High rank, low blows.”

“I…I swear…I didn't mean to harm any of you”

The hook presses harder.

“I would have just offered Buggy to rest here for a couple of days…”

Mihawk sits on the altar, planting his black sword in the marble pavement.

“You tried to kidnap a Yonko.” He states solemnly.

“N-no, I just…”

“Having the big dog here would discourage many crews, no doubt.” grins Crocodile. “Unfortunately, that has a very different price.”

“W-would Buggy consider it, if we pay?”

“Oh, no doubt. But save your berry, if you want my advice.”

Mihawk has had enough. He slowly walks towards the exit, leaving a crack in the ground behind him. His fellow joins him right away, pushing away Meara and leaving her shaky.

“You won’t have it your way this time, Read!” laughed Crocodile, relighting his cigar.

The two pirates get out in the open and are welcomed by the intense light of the setting sun.

At the vast harbor in front of the church, there’s an air of peace. Ships and fishing vessels move slowly in a gentle wind, few men still around mending nets. The sea sparkles in warm colors.

While going down the marble staircase, Mihawk freezes.

“You ok, ‘hawk?”

“Mh” he sighed “just a second, I think I heard something.”

“Fuck it. Fuck it all. I’m not going back with those assholes.”

Buggy is tinkering with a bundle of ropes, balancing in the middle of a swinging sailboat.

They said the wedding was fake, a trick to get those bloody nobles to pay fast.

“Seemed true to me.” he thinks “Can I undo it? There must be a way to reverse it...”

“Here you are! I’ve been looking all over the harbor for you.”

Buggy looks up, moving away his messy hair: It’s Mihawk.

The man’s smiling, standing on the dock. There's someone with him, but the clown couldn't care less.

“Get lost. I need some time away from you idiots.”

“I see. But I'm afraid you can't just go your way.”

“Says who?”

“Those six zeros still missing from Cross Guild’s coffers.”

Buggy bites his lips. They hold that fucking ‘you owe us’ thing against him every time. He can't even breathe without permission anymore.

“Anyway, I understand today was tough for you.” Hawkeyes says “So I persuaded Crocodile to let you enjoy a short honeymoon.”

“A what? Oh no, is it that girl there?”

“Buggy.”

“Did you hit your head or something? That was fake! Leave me alone!”

“Buggy, listen.”

“She’s better off here anyway!”

“They hit her.” Mihawk said, raising his voice “I found Meara raging on her. A pitiful sight. She must have given her something too, she barely stands.”

“And… what should I do about it?”

“I know a woman. On an isle, about one and a half days of sailing. Take the girl there.”

“You’re coming too?”

“No. Eat, drink, rest, do whatever you need until she’s ok. A week should be enough, I think.”

“Just so we're clear: then I have to take her in Karai Bari or…” the clown asked.

“You would never put your wife in danger, do you, Buggy? It's safer to have her stay with my friend. Permanently.”

The jester's eyes light up with hope.

“Fine! If you so insist, I'll prove my generosity once again. Ava, get a move on.”

The veiled woman is hesitant at first. “At least he remembers my name” she thinks.

Looking up at Hawkeye, Ava prays his doing is in good faith. She leaves the swordsman side and staggers to the boat, her legs too shaky and unstable.

“Take that stuff off your face, you'll see better.” Buggy croaks.

No answer. The woman gets in slower than an old granny, followed by the angry glare of the blue haired pirate.

“Oh, and don’t go off book. I can find you anywhere.”

“Fuck you ‘hawk.”

“Godspeed, lovebirds!”

Buggy takes something out of the water and the boat begins to move.

The distance between them and the stone dock increases rapidly, as the wind blows into their veils. The jester contemplates the horizon ahead while Ava sits in the back of the ship, none of them saying a word.

She stares at the view they're leaving behind, breathless. The sky has turned an intense blue with thick dark clouds and Fugu Island gets smaller and smaller in the silence of the night. The feeling of wind whistling in her ears, those cold droplets on her skin, explodes in Ava’s chest.

“I could…really live.” She whispers.

It is a happiness so great it almost breaks her.

#one piece fanfiction #buggy fanfiction #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #one piece buggy #cross guild #sir crocodile #crocodile one piece #dracule mihawk #hawkeye mihawk #one piece mihawk #buggy x oc #grand line challengers

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thana-topsy · 1 year ago

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SNIPPET SOMEDAY

Tagged by @dirty-bosmer @mareenavee @archangelsunited and @throughtrialbyfire -- Thanks so much you guys! My focus has been a little scattered, so it's been tough to keep up with tumblr. Mostly due to my terminal case of ENTHIR BRAINROT.

So I'll share a snippet from the new new Enthir one-off I just started, since the one of him and Urag is very close to finishing up.

I tag @kookaburra1701 @argisthebulwark @viss-and-pinegar @greyborn2 @caliblorn @skyrim-forever and @paraparadigm

---

“Karliah?”

It was like seeing a ghost. She looked thinner than he remembered, half-hidden in the shadows beneath the dark cowl of her cloak, face gaunt, eyes unmistakable.

“It’s been a while, Enthir,” she said softly.

Any response was lodged half-formed in his throat. Rumor raged against reason, his hands tightening into fists to keep them steady. Was it really you who killed him? The question lingered on the tip of his tongue. But if the answer was even remotely close to ‘yes’, Enthir knew only one of them would be walking away alive. And the odds were in Karliah’s favor.

The strange Nord looked between them wearing a stupid expression. “This guy?” he said, gesturing with his thumb.

“Yes,” Karliah confirmed whatever question was really being asked.

Enthir took a moment to give the Nord more than a sweeping once-over, and a memory clicked into place. He let out an unkind bark of a laugh. “Oh, I remember you. You left quite the knuckle imprint on my jaw.”

“And I’ll do it again if you try any funny business,” the Nord spat.

“Might I remind you that you joined the Thieves Guild, you oaf. If you were looking for honest work, I might suggest the Companions.”

“Little rat.”

“Please,” Karliah cut in, stepping between them. “Bjoryn, he’s a friend.”

Enthir’s lip twisted at the comment. “Friend?” He gave Karliah a skeptical look. “I wouldn’t be so quick to claim that.”

“Enthir, you have to know it’s not true.” She lowered her hood, her large amethyst eyes cutting through the gloom of the Frozen Hearth's basement. “I loved him. As much as y–”

“Then who did it?” Enthir hissed, heat gathering in his face and fists.

“Mercer. I witnessed it. Which is why he tried to get rid of me.”

Enthir tongued along the row of his upper teeth, brow drawn tight. Yes, Mercer would make a whole hell of a lot more sense than Karliah. But he couldn’t be sure. “He succeeded, I’d say.”

“We’re here because he tried to do the same to Bjoryn,” she explained. “We’re going to put a stop to his tyranny. Restore the guild to its rightful glory. Regain the favor of Nocturnal.”

Enthir’s eyes slid to the Nord. He was tall, broad-shouldered, his unkempt brown hair pulled back into a haphazard braid. Darker complexion than most Nords, though his eyes still held that ghostly, Draugr quality—blue like ice, his sclera a shock of white in his features. He wondered if they were fucking.

“So, you survived, then?” Enthir asked. The question was acidic. What makes you so special?

“Barely,” Bjoryn ceded with a wince, running a hand along a jagged scar beneath his stubbled jaw—a hastily healed wound, thick with scarring.

Was that how Mercer had offed Gallus? Slit his throat like livestock set for slaughter? Left him to bleed out on the cold floor of an ancient tomb? The thought settled like a rock in his stomach, leaving him feeling helpless and sick.

“Why do you need me?” Enthir pressed, eyes unfocused.

“Because we need help translating this.” Karliah pulled a journal from the satchel hanging from her shoulder and handed it to Enthir.

He brushed his hand over the cover reverently, already knowing what it was. “You finally found it…” he murmured, more to himself than anything. He’d wondered after the journal himself. Gallus was rarely seen without it. Shadows of memory flitted through his mind, like dapples of sunlight shifting through a thick canopy—Gallus hunched over Enthir’s desk, scribbling away, half undressed, half asleep, his hair sticking up at an odd angle from the way he buried his head beneath Enthir’s pillows.

“Is it really so important?” Enthir asked from the bed, arching into a stretch.

“If I don’t write it down, it’ll leave my mind forever…”

“Well get back over here when you’re done.”

It felt wrong to pry into its contents. Gallus was a private man—something Enthir respected. And something they had in common. The pressure of Karliah and Bjoryn’s presence got the better of him, and he flipped the journal open. Then paused, squinting down at the page. A warm fondness unfurled behind his breastbone.

“Hah! Figures…”

“Can you make sense of it?” Bjoryn asked.

“Nope.” Enthir snapped the journal closed, offering a thin, unkind smile. “Looks like he was using the ancient Falmer alphabet as his cipher, the clever bastard.”

“Do you know where we might find a key?” Karliah ased. “He and you had a shared interest in the Falmer, so I thought…” She trailed off, waiting for Enthir to respond.

“You thought wrong.” He handed her the journal. “Though I could send you in the same direction I sent him all those years ago: Markarth.”

“Markarth?” Bjoryn repeated, wrinkling his nose. “Why?”

“To consult the Altmer court wizard, Calcelmo. Be warned, though. He’s a fiercely guarded researcher, but he had whatever resources Gallus needed to write like that.” He nodded towards the journal in Karliah’s hands.

“Will you help us translate it?” Karliah pressed. “If we get the proper materials to decode it?” She paused as Enthir let the silent stretch between them. “You knew him well, Enthir. Better than me, in some ways.”

It was a nice play. Enthir fixed her with a calculated stare, then shrugged with casual indifference. “I could be persuaded.” He crossed his arms and shifted to prop himself up against the wall. “If you’re heading to Markarth anyway, there is something I’ve been trying to get my hands on.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” Bjoryn spat. “Come on, Karliah.” He placed a firm (but noticeably gentle) hand on her shoulder. “We can manage on our own.”

“What is it?” Karliah asked, refusing to move, eyes locked with Enthir.

Enthir smiled conspiratorially. “Please, step into my office.”

#topsy writes #enthir #enthir/gallus #karliah #thieves guild #skyrim fanfiction #snippet someday #Enthis is my new babygirl and everyone's gonna have to deal with this for a while

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enihk-writes · 1 year ago

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[thunder bots in a clear sky]

[01] - an error in our messaging system has been detected. please remain patient on standby as management fixes this unexpected issue. we seek your understanding and appreciate your continued usage of our services.

⇠ prev ║ index ║ next ⇢

content warning: the reader is revealed to be a child soldier. the superior is an icky guy

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

YEAR 3XX7, 48TH DAY OF WINTER

this recording has been approved by the federation of mindful nourishment. it is to be used by approved personnel for the stated reasons of: educational and occupational purposes. should it be found that you are in possession of an unauthorised copy of this recording, you are to answer to the intergalactic alliance party's piracy elimination department. failure to do so will result in confiscation and damages to your financial properties.

a drone and feminine robotic voice of the speaker bounced off the walls of the room. the low, blueish light of the television screen flickering was the only illumination the room received, especially with all the windows and openings blacked out with flattened cardboard boxes and thick curtains. this author sincerely hopes that you will never have to step into this room, it's not the best place to be on a weekend. don't even come here because you're curious either. it's...

ugh.

it was hard to even describe the smell inside this room, let alone the goo and gunk and grime that pooled all over the floor. flies and maggots were eating out of the garbage bags thrown to a side of the room, there might be a dead rat buried under that tower of trash — which explains all of the ants and cockroaches scurrying around that area. there were books tied and stacked together on top of unopened boxes collecting dust and abandoned cobwebs. it really says a lot when even spiders refuse to live in this environment. the books weren't in that great of a condition either, with tattered edges and lizard droppings all over, was it a good thing that these were all publications of the unscrupulous kind? perhaps. at least the owner doesn't come home often, if the federation of mindful nourishment ever caught wind of this, let's say he won't be having a good time in questioning.

the following events depicted in this recording are deemed to be authentic. further information about this case can be found on the public archives of the intergalactic alliance party's justice department under the case file numbers Y32XX-SUM27-TO-Y3XX7-WIN48- [REDACTED] -XXXDPT.H#F4T5

THIS COURT HEARING IS FOR:

DEFENDANT

ALIAS: LEI - 雷

REAL NAME : [REDACTED]

FORMER CAPTAIN FOR THE INTERGALATIC ALLIANCE PARTY'S (I.G.A.P) SECURITY DEPARTMENT DIVISION FOUR. DEFECTED TEN YEARS AFTER THE SECOND MAGELLANIC CLOUDS WAR OF 30XX. REASONS UNKNOWN.

CURRENTLY AN OFFICER GONE ROGUE. NO RECOGNISED AFFILIATIONS TO ANY KNOWN REBELLION, TERRORISTS OR OPPOSITION MILITA GROUP. HAS PAST DEALINGS WITH THE ST.SKR GUILD, DETAILS UNKNOWN.

there was a loud booming voice that resounded throughout the courtroom shaped like the stands of an ancient colosseum, silencing the chatter. he reads off from the papers he was holding up, as the recording camera shakily zooms into the central person of this court hearing.

her hair was a mess, edges choppily cut off with no thought, perhaps to shame who they believed to be a vain and promiscuous woman. clearly, her captors hadn't done their due diligence to research about her. because if anything, she was looking as though she really enjoyed her chic new look. and amongst the loud boos and curses thrown at her way, she held her head high. a shameless gesture, some might say, and it looked that way if you were looking at her through the lens of this recording camera.

people have asked those who had been at the court hearing that day to describe to them the aura of the infamous and elusive criminal. most just shook their heads in a trance, there was never a straight answer. some would think of her as a beauty unbefitting of her heinous reputation. some thought that she wasn't all that. everyone did agree that she was someone you couldn't take your eyes off, a performer, an entertainer. she was someone who revelled in the limelight.

ON THE FIRST ACCUSATION TOWARDS THE DEFENDANT,

IN THE YEAR 3X77, YOU BROKE INTO THE LABS OF THE BRAUN'S SCHOOL OF SCIENCE TO WRECK HAVOC ON THEIR OVER MILLINEA-LONG HUMAN CONSCIOUS RESEARCH. CAUSING THEM AND THE GALACTIC SOCIETIES AS A WHOLE TO LOSE VALUABLE KNOWLEDGE THAT COULD PROPEL THE STATE OF HUMANITY FORWARD.

PRISONER [REDACTED] HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

the woman stares up ahead blankly. she chuckles, leaning back with her eyes closed, pondering or perhaps trying to recall the supposed incident. from the flickering grainy footage displayed on the dim screen, one could see the schemes forming in her eyes. though she dropped that, and instead replied, rather nonchalantly.

sure. i did it.

gasps were heard from the spectators. if you were living in this time, the burning of the labs belonging to the braun's school of science could be on par with what our world would know of as the burning of alexandria. you can probably piece together that this was a rather serious offence...

no wonder the I.G.A.P's justice department wanted this woman caught. if this was her headliner crime, one can only speculate what the others would be.

IN THE YEAR 3X81, YOU SHUT DOWN THE FIREWALLS OF THE I.G.A.P SERVERS CAUSING A MASSIVE DATA BREACH WHICH NOT ONLY CAUSED SIGNIFICANT FINANCIAL LOSS FOR THE PARTY BUT ALSO CAUSED HIGHLY SENSITIVE INFORMATION TO BE LEAKED TO UNAUTHORISED PERSONNEL, REVIVING THE DARK MARKET STRIP AND CAUSING THE NEAR COLLASPE OF THE FEDERATION OF MINDFUL NOURISHMENT — ALL TO ACCUIRE THE FULL VOLUMES OF SOME OUT-OF-PUBLICATION B-RATE NOVEL?

PRISONER [REDACTED] HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

a pause.

alright, but you have to admit that you would do it too if you were me. god, i swear i almost went crazy when i couldn't find the full series anywhere!

the attendees of the courtroom looked at each other nervously. was this the humour of a criminal? as expected, normal hardworking folk like them could never hope to understand the absurdity of wanting something you can't have when everything you've ever needed in life can be provided in a snap of a finger. they thought she was just greedy and a good-for-nothing that flew too close to the sun, and was now throwing a temper tantrum all because she can't have what she wants.

she never hoped they would understand her actions. nobody had to understand her reasons, so long as she didn't lose sight of her goal. this trial meant nothing in her grand scheme of things.

the loud booming voice kept reading off the list until he reached the last offence recorded. he looks over to see the woman sitting slumped back on the chair, looking bored of the trial. he looks over the words on the paper again.

he wonders quietly how she would react.

he clears his throat.

ON THE LAST ACCUSATION TOWARDS THE DEFENDANT,

DURING THE SECOND MAGELLANIC CLOUDS WAR OF 30XX, YOUR FELLOW CAPTAINS OF DIVISIONS THREE, FIVE, SEVEN AND NINE DIED FROM A COWARDLY, INTERNAL ATTACK PLOTTED AND CARRIED OUT BY YOU. THEIR BODIES RECOVERED IN WORSE SHAPE THEN THEY HAD LEFT BASE IN, ALL WHILE YOU HAD FEIGNED IGNORANCE TO THIS INCIDENT, EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO PLEDGE YOUR LOYALTY TO THE I.G.A.P AND PROMISING TO FIND THE PERPETRATOR AND THEN FALSELY ACCUSING YOUR SUPERIOR OF THE MISDEED IN AN ATTEMPT TO COVER UP YOUR TRACKS.

PRISONER [REDACTED] HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

there was a low crackle that revved up in frequency before—

BOOM!

the sheer pressure of the crash caused the recording camera to shake violently, everyone flinched at the loud noise. a few brave ones peered to look at what was happening below. when the dust settled, everyone could see that the stand the announcer with the loud resounding voice was standing behind had been blown to smithereens, the wood all broken and splintered. the only indication of what might have happened was the smoking pile of ash at the point of impact.

everyone on the court shuddered.

they've forgotten, amongst all the ridiculous seemingly harmless nature of the crimes, that she was once the shining star of the I.G.A.P's security department. the prodigy who could wield the untameable element of lighting like it was nothing at the young age of fifteen, going on to achieve feats in battle no one ever could at her age, becoming the captain of her own special unit. in the short span of ten years, she reached her peak in the department.

and then, the war happened.

it was probably then that she began to fall from grace. the icarus that flew too close to the sun, the stray thunderbolt that you see before a hurricane, warning you of the disaster to come. she fell and she fell, deeper and deeper into the seedy underbelly of the illicit cosmic societies. she joined hands with former enemies and her current foes were those whom she rubbed shoulders with once upon a time.

right now, she stood in court, dirty and unkempt. a far cry from her glory days. how pitiful. the session should end now before she loses control and harms the innocent civilians.

prisoner [redacted] how do you plead?

the look of pure, liquid hatred dripping from her gaze at the new somewhat unfamiliar voice made everyone hold onto their beating heart rising in their throats. that voice. oh, that sickening voice. she would know that god-awful ear-grating, stomach-turning, nauseating voice anywhere in the universe, through the fabric of time in any life she was put into.

her eyes meet those of the superior she had so-called falsely accused all those years ago. he sits perched on his little throne up in the stands, ever so poised and elegant. his posture was impeccable even after all this time. how frustrating.

the superior only smiles, eyes crinkling up gently at her childish display. oh, she was as adorable as he remembered. he finds it sad that he couldn't tame this feral kitten he had picked up years ago. no matter though. there was always another chance in the near future. for now, he had to punish the wrong-doer.

the images flashing on the television screen stills. a sigh was heard as the metal legs of a stool scrapped on the floor, the figure residing in the corner of the room watching the video silently so far stood up stretching. with a few good slaps on the television hood, the record stirs and the camera soon pans over to show the image of the girl's superior.

a clean-looking fellow.

the figure scoffs, still not used to seeing his own face in the reflection of the screen. she's always hated that he looked flawless. and if that was one way to get her attention, he sure as hell was going to take that chance with both hands.

oh, his poor little girl, if only he had a higher standing in the I.G.A.P, he would have cleared all her charges and brought her back to the security department as captain of division four. he would have silenced any noise of her former defection, her supposed betrayal against her former allies. oh, they wouldn't understand your burning passion for justice. he did, he always did.

so he'll stay behind and work hard for her. as she goes off for her execution, he will stay behind and work hard so that when she finally comes back to him as the fresh face recruit with no memory of her sins, he would be ready to welcome her back with open arms.

he chuckles at his dreams, taking a sip out of the can he was swirling in his hands. the carbonated drink was sour, bland, flat and warm all at once. but he didn't care. his eyes were trained on one thing.

the television screen.

and it plays the recording of her court hearing.

again,

and again,

and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again,

and again,

until the screen finally blacked out from short-circuiting.

#enihkwrites #thunder bolts in a clear sky #tbcs #return of the blossoming blade x reader #return of the mount hua sect x reader #chung myung x reader

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heyyallitsbethfanfic · 7 months ago

Text

White Wedding

Aincrad had it’s fair share of gorgeous days, but today was a perfect day for relaxing and taking a break. The sun fell in the all right spots, gentle clouds making for lovely shade, and the gentlest breeze kept everything at a perfect temperature.

Kirito decided that they would take Asuna, Yui and Strea out today. They hadn’t been on a family trip with Asuna and Yui in a long time, and hadn’t at all since making the discovery that Strea was Yui’s long lost sister, and their newly adopted daughter. “Today would be a good day to make memories with them all.” Kirito tapped on the door of the room Asuna and Yui were staying in, inviting them out and telling them about their idea.

“Oh Kirito that sounds wonderful! And Strea will be so happy to get to spend time with all of us!” Asuna perked up, thinking about a lovely picnic date with Kirito, now alongside her two lovely children.

“I get to play with big sis Strea? And mommy and daddy? That sounds perfect!” Yui was practically buzzing with excitement, and Kirito scooped her up in their arms and led her to their shoulders to carry her in a piggyback.

“Now all we need to do is get Strea too.”

…

Before long, the group made it’s way down to the base of the inn where Agil had set up his new bar. The rest of the party seemed to have been gathered to have breakfast together already.

“Yo everyone, it’s a nice day so we should take it easy. I’m gonna be taking Asuna and the girls for a day down at the lake, so you guys have fun when I’m gone.”

“Ah it’s never any fun when you’re gone Kii-bou, who else are me and Liz spost ta tease?” Argo joked at Kirito, but he was busy trying to stifle a laugh that ‘The Rat’ was currently nibbling on cheese for breakfast.

“I hope you all have fun!” Silica warmly smiled at the party.

“Yeah this weather is pleasant, it is definitely a perfect day for it.” Sinon didn’t tease Kirito surprisingly, just being genuine.

“Yeah, I hope it’ll stay this nice all day. This one here still hasn’t had a day out with us all yet.” Kirito tussled Strea’s hair, with her letting out a pleased purr as a response.

The girls shifted in their seats slightly, and Sinon spoke up for them “Um, Kirito- is that really appropriate?”

“Huh?”

“Like, it’s one thing with Yui, but Strea is like. Barely younger than you and Asuna, are you sure you should be petting her like that?”

Kirito tilted his head confused at the question. “I… I don’t see why it wouldn’t be okay. Back in the real world Leafa and I would mess with eachother’s hair like that all the time.” He strolled over to his little sister and tussled her hair, eliciting a bright blush on Leafa.

“J-jeez big bro. It’s been years since you’ve done that…”

“Eh, gotta make up for lost time now that you’re here with us. Anyways, we’re headin’ out, laters.”

…

The party of four excused themselves as the rest of the guild sang them a chorus of goodbyes, and as soon as they were out of earshot, all eyes were on Leafa.

“So… Leafa… Wanna explain what you and Kirito just said?” Philia rested her head on one hand and pointed her fork accusingly at Leafa.

“Yeah, we knew Kirito was protective of you but…” Liz shifted her eyes away, feeling awkward.

“No wonda you always look so annoyed when A-chan’s around. You and Kii-bou were up ta some funky business in the real world huh? I betcha you did plenty-a lewd things to his body while he was unconscious huh?”

“J-JESUS ARGO- Don’t accuse me of stuff like that- It’s not like that at all”

“But it is strange. Kirito does seem to be very affectionate with you.” Sinon’s face was a mask of uninterested seriousness, but inside her mind wandered to dirty places, and a dark game she played with two characters who looked suspiciously like Kirito and Leafa.

“I’m his sister. Of course we’re affectionate. We’ve spent years together alone since mom and dad were always busy.”

“Leafa, honey, you’re digging yourself a grave here.” Liz cringed.

Silica shot up and clasped her hands over her mouth, struck by realization. “Kirito once comforted me by playing with my hair, and just a bit before that, he said I reminded him of you Leafa.”

“Jeez, girl musta sprung up a few cup sizes while he was away if you reminded him of her” Philia taunted Silica who pouted, hiding her chest.

“His best memories of me are probably from when we were younger. We haven’t always been the most well off family, so up until we were around 12 and 13, he and I shared a room. Around the time we got our own spaces, we kinda drifted apart from eachother.”

“Aw now I feel bad for teasing.” Philia patted Leafa on the shoulder apologetically.

“I don’t- I bet ya shared a bed too didn’t ya?” Liz was beaming a smirk.

Leafa’s silence was deafening.

“Oh. Oh my god.” Sinon pinched the bridge of her nose, exasperated.

“I… I was so used to it that for a long time after I still slept in Kirito’s bed… And any time I had a nightmare…” Leafa clutched the Moon Pendant around her neck, thinking of her recent quest to reunite the Sun and Moon Lovers with Kirito.

“Oh my god she’s in love with her brother-” Philia’s eyes went wide.

“Would it help if I said he was adopted?…”

“Given Kirito’s track record, it makes sense. That’s like what, 7 girls that’ve fallen for him? Why would she be immune?” Liz slumped into her chair.

“Even more competition…” Silica rested her head on the table pouting.

“Hmm. It’s a little weird, but it’s also sweet. You loved him so much you willingly dove into a death game to see him.” Sinon’s kind voice reassured Leafa.

Argo facepalmed.

“Dammit dammit dammit- you’ve screwed us all.”

The group of girls looked at Argo in confused.

“Dontcha all get it? This gal’s been flirtin with Kii-bou since they were born. And we know he was a loner- He doesn’t think that we’re flirtin- he just thinks all gals act like that because of Leafa-”

“Oh-” Liz and Philia blurted out.

“Leafa…” Silica looked up at Leafa with tears at the edges of her eyes.

“We’re doomed.” Sinon rested her head in her hands.“Ehehehe- whoopsie…” Leafa could only look down in shame, with a crimson blush across her face.

#sao #sword art online #sao fic #sao fanfic #sword art online fic

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peanutbutterandfailure · 2 years ago

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ChildeXGN!Reader-"Watching You"

youtube

CW: implications of assault (not Childe)

Working as a “server” at the Yanshang Teahouse might not have been your first career choice, but at the moment you really could not afford to be picky.

After arriving in Liyue Harbor you barely had enough money to pay for a room at the Baiju Guesthouse for a week. You needed mora, and fast. Your first three days in the city were spent trying to find any place that would hire you, but you had no luck at all. You were running out of options, and if you couldn’t come up with mora by the end of the week, the Baiju Guesthouse would be forced to kick you out. You couldn’t go back to wandering aimlessly through Teyvat, begging and stealing just to survive. You came to Liyue to turn your life around. You wanted to try and make something of yourself. Your last-ditch effort was going to be pleading with the Adventurers Guild. You weren’t much of an adventurer, but perhaps they would let you join and would pay you to do simple commissions and errands. You were trudging your way there when you heard someone call out.

Hey! Hey you!” You looked to the side to see the hostess of the Yanshang Teahouse staring right at you. “Yeah you, come over here. And don’t make me ask twice.”

You’re startled by the rudeness of the woman, but you comply.

“Word around the city is that there’s a traveler that’s begging everyone for a job. I take it that’s you?”

“Y-yes ma’am…” You reply. You’re not sure what to think about her attitude and why she’s questioning you.

The woman places a finger against her chin as she studies you. “Hmmm… You’re cute enough. With a bit of makeup and the right outfit, I don’t think customers would mind seeing you around. We need a new server, but we can’t just take any old rat off the street. We have a certain decorum to uphold. If you’re unaware, our teahouse is incredibly exclusive. Only the most elite are allowed to enter, and the events held inside are quite secretive. Only those who can pay our entrance fees are allowed to know what happens behind our closed doors.”

What kind of teahouse is this? You think to yourself as your eyes shift between the hostess and the two security guards at the door. But a job. An actual job! You might be able to keep your room in the Guesthouse after all!

The woman continues. “If we were to hire you, everything you see or hear while on your shift is strictly confidential. You can’t write home to your mommy about your new job. You can’t make idle small talk with anyone about your career. As far as I’m concerned, you can’t even mention what you do to the koi in the Yujing pond. But how can I be sure that we can trust you?”

“I swear you can trust me! I won’t breathe a word to anyone, I swear! Please, ma’am, please! I need a job more than anything right now! I’ll sign a contract, I’ll do anything!” By now you’re leaning on the counter, begging.

“Alright, alright, calm down! Jeez. Come back tomorrow afternoon to meet the boss. If he likes you, he’ll get everything squared away for you to get started.”

So you did, and you’ve been coming back every day for the past two months, excluding days off. All in all, you enjoyed your job. Sure, your outfit was more revealing than you preferred. And yeah, the clientele could be rowdy at times. But it paid well, and you never felt unsafe at your job.

Especially after he started showing up.

The first time he walked through the door, you didn’t understand why everyone stopped and stared. Was it because he was a member of the Fatui? You didn’t think it would be that surprising for one of them to be in the teahouse since the Northland Bank sat in the heart of the city. Maybe it was because he was attractive? That was certainly why you were still staring at the handsome redhead as his ice blue eyes surveyed the room. A blush painted your cheeks as his eyes fell on you and a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. You ducked your head, embarrassed that he caught you staring. You tried to keep yourself busy with work, but you couldn’t help but seek him out in the crowds. Oftentimes once you found him, his eyes were already on you.

Over the next few weeks, his visits to the teahouse became more and more frequent. He started requesting you specifically to be his server, so it quickly became known among the staff to let you know when he arrived. He would also drag you off to a secluded table so the two of you could talk. It was during these talks that you found out that he went by Tartaglia and that he was number eleven of the Harbingers. You learned that he was charismatic and loved adventure and sparring. You also learned more about the parts of the world you’d never been to, specifically Snezhnaya, a region so mysterious to you. You were very glad that your boss didn’t seem to mind Tartaglia keeping you all to himself. In fact, anytime he was around, your boss seemed to make himself scarce.

Recently, Tartaglia has even taken to walking you home. By now, he had your work schedule memorized, so even when he was not a patron you could expect to find him outside waiting for you near the end of your shift. Tonight, however, was not one of those nights. "Awe, no Loverboy?" Your friend and fellow server teased playfully. You felt your face flush. You knew everyone in the teahouse assumed you did more than serve tea to Tartaglia, but your and his relationship did not extend past flirty banter and the ever so slight brushes of your hands against each others arms or legs.

"Don't call him that," you tell her, giggling. "You know we're not together."

"Oh come ON!" She groans. "Everyone can tell you have it bad for him. And if he didn't feel the same way, he wouldn't be coming to see you almost every day." She shakes her head and crosses her arms. "He might just be waiting for you to make the next move. What you need to do, next time you see him, is walk up to him and rest your fingers on that little bit of exposed stomach he's always teasing us with. Slowly start sliding your hand up under his shirt. See how far he'll let you go with that. Who knows, he might even let you start sliding your hand down-"

"Ok, ok, I get it!" You cut her off, blushing furiously now. She cackles at your reaction before saying goodnight and heading towards her home. You're making your way across the bridge that separates Chihu Rock and Feiyun Slope when you see two large men standing at the other end. Your steps slow as you notice that they're looking right at you. You move off to one side of the bridge, but to your dismay they mirror your movements. You pray to whichever Archon will hear you that you're just overreacting and the men will let you pass.

"Excuse me," you say softly as you try to push past them. For a fleeting second you think you really were overreacting, but then you feel a hand grab your upper arm and spin you so your facing the way you just came. The two men loom before you, the taller of the two still gripping your arm.

"What's the hurry sweet thing?" The shorter one purrs in a slimy voice. "You're one of those servers from the Yanshang Teahouse, right?"

"I would love it if you'd serve me." Tall says, gripping your arm even tighter.

Trying to keep your voice level, you say "Well the next time you gentlemen visit the Yanshang Teahouse, I would be more than happy to serve you both tea."

"That's not what we mean and you know it. We've heard all the rumors about what you 'tea servers' actually do there. I'm not paying their ridiculous entrance fee to see you, and since your scrawny bodyguard isn't here, you can just go ahead and serve me right now." Short says as he steps closer to you.

Panicking, you start pulling against Tall's hand. "No, you don't understand, I really do just serve tea!" Your cries fall on deaf ears as you kick and claw and try to break free as the two men restrain you.

Suddenly, you were pulled backwards away from the two men. You stumble, and unable to right yourself, you fall to the ground. You're shaking and there's a rushing in your ears as you sit in shock, looking at the bloody scrape on you hands. What happened? Where did the men go? You turn back towards the bridge and it takes your brain a minute to process what you're seeing.

Short is laying in a bloody heap on the ground, cradling a broken arm against his chest. Standing with his back towards you, Childe (because in this moment, he was truly the Eleventh Harbinger, and not the Tartaglia you knew) was currently beating Tall to a pulp. He's yelling something you can't hear over the rushing in your ears as he throws the second man to the ground beside the first. With a powerful flourish, he summons his two hydro blades and stalks towards the men. Now you know why everyone stared that first day he came to the teahouse. He's going to kill them you think. You can't let him do that. Attackers or not, Harbinger or not, you would not allow Childe to take someones life because of you.

"Tartaglia, no!" You cry out as you rush forward. Even though you know it's foolish, you throw yourself against his arm, pulling him around to face you. He blinks at you a few times, confused. It seems that he completely lost himself in the fight and forgot all about you. "Please, don't do this."

His brow furrows at your plea. "They were going to hurt you!" He growls, pointing one of his blades at the men who lay bloody and helpless in front of the two of you. "They were going to do worse than hurt you! That's unforgivable!"

"You're right, but they didn't. You stopped them. You saved me. What you've done is more than enough retaliation, so please just let them go!" You're begging him now, tears welling in your eyes. You're terrified, and not just because of what almost happened, but also because of him. The man standing in front of you was not the same smiling, laughing young man you've come to know. This man is a stranger, and you're not sure if you like him.

Childe stares into your eyes for several moments before sending away his blades with a sigh. He turns his steely gaze to the two men and growls "Leave" at them. His eyes don't leave the men until they've stumbled out of sight, leaving behind only bloodstains. When he turns back to you, his eyes are soft. Gently, he reaches up and wipes a tear from your cheek. "You're scared of me."

It's not a question, he can see the fear in your eyes.

"Please just take me home." You whimper. And he does.

Tartaglia hasn't come to see you in several weeks. You can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing. Even though you're terrified of what he can do, you still find yourself attracted to him. And you miss seeing him so much. You're explaining your conundrum to your friend one day when the two of you were relaxing after your shift.

"Honestly," she says as she sits down her teacup. "I'd call you crazy if you weren't still attracted to him. While I'm sure it was terrifying seeing him like that, look at it this way. One of the Harbingers cares about you so much that he went into a blind rage and almost killed two men because they wronged you. It wasn't because they were doing something wrong. It was because they were threatening you specifically. That's pretty hot. Scary, but hot."

You're just getting ready to reply when one of the other servers comes to get you. "Loverboy is hanging around outside. Want us to send him away?"

"It's a sign!" Your friend exclaims as you shake your head.

"No, I need to talk to him. Thank you."

You step out of the teahouse and immediately wrap your arms around your waist. A cool breeze is blowing through the harbor, making you shiver. Tartaglia seems completely unbothered by the cold air as he leans against the lamp by the bridge. He stands up straight when he sees you, a small smile on his lips.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" You ask him. He nods, and hesitatingly holds a gloved hand out to you. You hesitate for only a second before taking it and letting him lead you into the night.

You were not expecting him to lead you to where he was staying while in Liyue. You stand nervously in his kitchen while he makes you a warm drink. "I didn't mean to scare you." He says. He's facing away from you, still fooling with your drink as he continues. "I just… I just got so mad. When I heard you pleading with them, I lost control. And when I saw them touching you, groping you… I couldn't help it, all I could see was red. I don't want anyone else to touch you. I want to be the only one who touches you." He's gripping the counter now, your drink forgotten, his arms trembling. "I can't stand the way those gamblers and boozehounds leer at you at the teahouse. That's why I come visit you so much. I don't want them getting any ideas. And Tsaritsa help anyone who hurts you." You feel your heart squeeze at the sincerity and anguish in his voice. It's been a long time since anyones actually cared about you, and no one has ever cared about you as much as he seems to.

"Tartaglia," your voice comes out in barely a whisper, but it sounds so loud in the quiet room. He turns to face you, his shirt shifting from the movement. Remembering your friends "advice", you walk over to him and lightly run your fingers across his exposed skin. He shivers and grabs your hand, guiding it further up under his shirt. You look up at him through your lashes as you lay your hand flat against his abs.

With a groan, he grabs you by the back of the neck and pulls you to him, claiming your mouth hungrily. Your one hand is still pressed against his stomach, pinned between your bodies, but your free one is able to explore other parts of his him. His soft hair, his smooth jaw, his broad shoulders, his strong back. Such a powerful and deadly body that you're pinned against.

He pulls back from the kiss, panting heavily. "You don't think I'm a bad guy?" He asks as he looks down at you, his eyes clouded with lust.

"I do. But you're my bad guy." You reply, pressing your lips back against his. You're tired of waiting. You're ready to be with Tartaglia, ready to surrender yourself to him. As if he can sense the shift in you, he walks you back until your pressed against the table. He swiftly picks you up and sits you on it, stepping between your legs. Automatically, you wrap them around his waist, pulling him closer to you. His gloved hand tangles in your hair and he tugs your head back so he can kiss down your neck.

He pulls away slightly and presses his mouth close to your ear. "Bedroom. Now." His voice is a low growl that makes you shiver. You slide down from the table and he leads you to his room, pulling the door closed behind you. He's sits on the edge of his bed, slowly pulling his gloves off, as he says "I want to see you, dusha moya. I want to see all of you."

Your hands are shaking at first, but the more clothes you lose, the more confident you become. You sway your body as you strip, and he enjoys the show you're putting on for him. He's leaning forward on the bed, his elbow resting on his knee. Even though his hand is over his mouth, it doesn't hide the sly, sexy smile he's giving you. When your last piece of clothing hits the floor, he holds his hand out to you. "Come here, dusha moya."

"What does that mean?" You ask as you stand naked in front of him, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He waits until his chest is bare to answer you.

He pulls you down on top of him as he lays back on the bed. "It means my soul," he tells you as his hands begin to explore your body.

Your eyes are misty as you smile down at the incredibly passionate man beneath you. "I love you, Tartaglia." You tell him.

"My real name is Ajax. I want you to call me that. And I love you too." He tells you as he pulls your mouth back down to his.

And Ajax spent the night proving to you just how much you mean to him.

#Youtube #genshin impact #genshin pov #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia x reader #childe x gender neutral reader #childe angst #childe fluff #childe pov #tartaglia

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forcedfamiliarization · 3 months ago

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So, apparently in other cities, the word gnome refers to people who're almost dwarf sized? No wonder everyone gets so mad when I catch gnomes here in Thaum, they probably think I'm some kind of serial killer!

Our gnomes are like rats in the shape of tiny people. The feral ones don't really say much, but a few of the ones in the city learned to parrot curse words because that's usually what they hear after they bite someone's toes, or stab them in the arse with a crochet needle.

City ferals like to find little corners and crawlspaces in houses and steal food and stuff from the kitchens, which usually isn't a problem if there's just one, but you can't count on your eyes to know that for sure! They're shockingly good at illusions, so you should leave some flour on your pantry floor to count how many footprints there are. If there's more than one, don't wait! Go to your nearest guild or tavern hunt board immediately!

Gnome catching is actually a really lucrative job for adventurers who're just starting out, because one pair of feral gnomes can swell up to several hundred in a year, and it's not like they're going to stop anytime soon! You also might consider investing in a cat to sniff them out. We're great at seeing through illusions, and might be cheaper in the long term than schlepping downtown to put out quest after quest!

According to Simon, gnomes aren't a problem out in the hill country because they have so many natural predators, like cait sidhe and grimalkins who catch them by the dozens, which probably explains my urges! Come to think of it, those are both feline races from the Hulderwald, so maybe gnomes really were rats that the fae changed to look like little beardy men?

Up north where the skalds and noita come from, they had another solution to gnomes eating their crops and getting into the chicken coops: Domestication! Domesticated gnome breeds like nisse, tomte, and tonttu basically work like tiny little guard dogs to keep the feral gnomes away from gardens, shops, and homes, and there's usually a few gnome buggeries in every city for a good selection!

The main differentiation between domestic and feral gnome breeds is that Domesticated gnomes wear little red hats and tunics instead of letting their twig and bollocks flop about. There's usually a name sewn into the inside brim of their caps, too, kinda like the collars familiars wear!

They're also much smarter. Not only can they understand short sentences, they know that their porridge and safe sleeping place are dependent on playing nice and patrolling the estate with their little forks like tiny personal guards against their barbarous cousins, so they stay on their BEST behavior.

You might have to replace them here and there, though. Since they roam about, it's not uncommon for them to get carried away by birds, or eaten by, say, cat familiars who're too entranced by the prospect of such a well fed little morsel to notice they're not spouting curse words with their dicks out like a lush after the taverns close.

My point in explaining all this is so you understand that I'm doing very important work when I go gnome hunting, so please stop calling the city guards when I show my trophies on the Orblr! Every time they come by the dorms we have to bribe them to go away, and it's getting really expensive!

Are a couple of deliciously plump pets really worth getting eaten out of house and home by a bunch of tiny naked men who want to steal your toenails before going back to fucking in your walls like it's the back room of a bathhouse? I think not!

All I ask, from the bottom of my heart, is for a bit of compassion and wizardry solidarity! I need you to understand that my gnome crimes are honest mistakes, and it's okay to let your house gnomes outside once in a while!

Preferably the plump ones. Maybe with a bit of wine first so they're extra slow.

You know, as a sign of trust...

#wizardposting #wizard shit #wizardblr #wizards #wizardblogging #gnomes #wizard familiar #wizardcore #oc lore #lore dump #worldbuilding

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transgaypiratesanta · 1 year ago

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so I’ve seen some posts of quotes from the oxventure, and OH BOY. I have full-on NOTES about the oxventure and every piece of canon and fan theories I can get my grubby little paws on, AND I HAVE A LOT OF QUOTES. SO…. HAVE FUN WITH THESE!

DND

“Spicy… like a rat.”

“You asked the whales name?” “I’m just thoughtful like that.”

“Always check your bonfires for hedgehogs.”

“Needless to say Cthulhu is pleased and lunch is ruined”

“Oh no the cube! Not the cube!”

“He looks like dob but somehow evil and sexy”

“Nooooo… my mojo…”

“Oh you totally give the baby a dagger!” “That’s parenting 101”

“I flinch greasily.”

“Guys be real are we murder hobo’s?”

“I just wanna say I’m really proud of the amount of murder we’ve done.”

“Have you heard of the guild of the national trust?”

“Oo man I can’t wait to get redemption let’s kill everyone.”

“Do you have pamphlets?” “Let’s bore them to death!”

“Decisive action: throw that cat.”

“I have a moral objection but I’m going to let it happen because this seems cool.”

“🎵it’s getting hot in here. And they will all explode🎵”

“I lick the book and I am pleased”

“I know a lot of my plans revolve around watching dob sleep”

“Shut your filthy mouth Corazon”

“Let’s have a spooky sleepover.”

“Nature is beautiful.” “It sure was”

“+4! +2! +2! NUMBERS!”

“It’s not on fire or anything!” “Not yet, give me time!”

“We’re gonna have a sleepover in this crypt!”

“It couldn’t have been me-meant? If it wasn’t already… broked. That’s what I’ve always said”

“🎵maaaagic hand! Come out of my real hand!🎵”

“Wear whatever you want! Your bones, probably.”

“Their prudence hat”

“Is it orphans? You gotta tell us if it is.” “Ah. It’s orphans boss.”

“Skeletons… AHHHHHH”

“I love these loophole skeletons!”

“I would like to attempt to cast mend on the orphans”

“We just want less orphan juice”

“I’m imagining you making a snowman out of orphan paste”

“Oooo Skeletons be dexterous”

“We’re all team skeleton just some of us have flesh on top”

“I never liked you Kevin”

“Guys I’m not not in trouble”

“And then I turn the internal heat dial to cremation”

“BETTER OUT THAN IN DOES NOT APPLY TO ORGANS”

“MY ORGANS!”

“Do you want a vomit hug?”

“I’m putting my foot down on the husks.” “But then they’d just burst!”

“Is it bad that bear me wants to eat the husks? No I won’t I’ll be good”

“And I’m trying desperately to remain eye contact with HER, and not look at you guys swimming around in sandwiches”

“It’s in runes or something what is that?” “That’s a seven.”

“The consequences! They’re here again!”

“Meowwww” “I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!”

“Awh. And I’ve got his BOOTS!”

“Dob what did I tell you about necromancy?”

“Let’s put capitalism in the lake!”

“We can always claim it’s the fireworks show!” “NOT IF WE’RE DEAD!”

“Dogs are bound in skin!”

“MERILWEN THERES A BEAR! GO TURN INTO A BEAR OR FIGHT IT… or marry it… or something”

“Have we tried to befriend the footprints?” “Talk to the footprints!”

“Two very impulsive boi’s”

“Grease man from the ocean”

“Respectfully yeet him off the mountain.” “A somber yeet”

“If I was in something for 2 years”

“I saw the holes on the front and thought ‘that must be all the holes’ but then I looked on the back and there was ANOTHER HOLE THERE!”

“What are you dreaming about?” “Salmon.”

“Oh no they’ll take over the world with inexpensive furniture!”

“Break his spirit.” “And his back 😈”

“3 dimensional chess is just chess!”

“AUGH. OH YES. BISQUE 😩”

“What’s in this drawer? Dob? Oh no that’s a paperclip.”

“Person in charge of the Prudence mech”

“🎵yees I’m the best at thunderwave turns out!🎵”

“My shin!” “My Shin!” “… our Shin.”

“DID YOU JUST SUGGEST MERILWEN COMMIT AUTOCANNIBALISIM IN BEAR FORM?”

“I’m just a chicken walking around with a flameblade”

“🎵Eleanor rigbee, lived in a hive because she was a bee. Whooedy whee!🎵”

“The pirate. Didn’t. Say that.”

“This is the energy in the room we’re all going to regret later” “says that of the orphanage.” “I regretted it later!”

“Though he could discover spoons at any point”

“Phase one: walk to crime. Phase two: do crime”

“I’ll just do it and be a legend”

“In a way we’re already married in a very deep and legal way.” “For tax purposes.”

“Why is there so much tentacle milk here?”

“You just hear anarchy noises from out the window”

“We’re running out of time before he murders us accidentally with an idiom” “with beans”

“I’m buying ecstasy from an owl?”

“The sounds of muffled pirate violence”

“She might just destroy the world, which is where we keep all our stuff!”

“I faint.” “Okay dob’s having a short rest” “OH YEAH!”

“Thick orange hot water”

“She’s got the cutest little forces of darkness 🥰”

“As the Druid, no.” “As the dm, INSPIRATION!”

“I cast shatter on the only planet we have”

“I cast fracking”

“WE. ARE. COASTAL!”

“The eldrich being Flannery”

“We’re fracking landlords”

“Now we leave you and see if you go buduhduhduhduh”

“Cattle go missing, we never find out what happens to all the Harris’s” “season over.”

“It’s practically a victimless crime, unless there’s a victim, in which case hopefully it’s a hard to trace crime”

“I grease Merilwen to give her the best chance”

“WHY AM I DYING?”

“Because you told me to piss off!” “So you did THIS?” “yeah” “I HAVE MINUTES TO LIVE!”

“How’s the shat?”

“I cast mending on our friendship 🥺”

“How does a jackle… lift a bunch of cars?” “I don’t know.” “You jack ‘em all.” *weird laughter*

“Yes. No more pain where you’re going friend. No, you’re not very nice actually.”

“Well, solved the Richard problem!” “But what about the Dob problem”

“It’s very demeaning, so okay.”

“Well no Millie or ori that is obviously not okay. Little idiot.”

“Oh I HATE nature”

“Who wants in on my corpse sled idea?”

“Dob.” *quiet laughter* “oh no.”

“I give them an appraising look as if sizing up their corpses”

“I am literally everyone else in the world which means I am the best at sighing crying sad goodbying to my plot, the npc’s, the sanctity of lore…”

“These patrons aren’t gonna lick themselves!”

“Ohhhh it’s a sex thing.”

“Rule 3 no kink shaming.” “Damn right.”

“He drifts out the door… to go find something to kiss.”

“WAIT! I’ve had a thought! I want to kiss the dragon man.”

“Well. You’ve effed this right up Dob.”

“Well, if you’re dreaming about that, it’s probably out to get you.” “Every time you sleep, it gets a little bit closer.”

“It is always agonising Johnny!”

“Let me use my bonus action to slip in my own grease”

“All things must drink. I say wisely, and inaccurately”

“You take 4 points of… becoming soup damage”

“It occurs to all of you, and pardon my infernal, this is a shit idea.”

“Why do i have find steed if it’s not a rodeo?”

“I cough up some hemp and rope.” “Oh perfectly horrifying! Sure, yeah.”

“We never elected a leader!” “How could you talk to your leader like that?”

“I like turning into a cat all the time, the problem is I can’t do it.”

“that horny crew member sticks his head out to watch”

“So it’s slightly uncomfortable… and you outlive all your lovers… sounds like a good thing!”

“I wish to arrest Cthulhu now start screaming”

BLADES IN THE DARK

“Sir we’re in an antique shop.”

“What a great excuse to do some crime, though!”

“Nothing bad has ever happened to me in my entire life, I don’t think it’s going to start now!”

“Is it meant to be on fire? Because it’s on fire.”

“ITS A MASTERCLASS! It’s not a masterclass…”

“Classic squiffy, what a lad.”

“Hey! I need you to do me a favour! Well I say a favour, I’m compelling you.”

“We do a literal hitman, as in you run up, and hit the man.”

“He’ll live, but not well.”

“Spinning tops in places you don’t want them”

“I want a ghost who’s obsessed with me!”

“Everyone’s going out the front door! I’m just gonna set the house on fire!”

“Here’s what happens Barnaby, you glorious liability.”

“Have you heard about this thing called a union?” “… Let’s montage the rest of this conversation”

“Roll me for ‘Dave? Dave!’”

“Barbaby and workers rights are on the opposite end on the political spectrum”

“It’s not apoplectic with rage, it’s apoplectic with being right.”

“Fresh fish!” “Lovely crimes!”

“It’s going terribly here in the present! Maybe it went better in the past!” “Let’s retreat to the safety of the past.”

“I didn’t want to taste the sweat of the poor in the air!”

“So you want to be a nice, clean, sanitised butcher?”

“It’s like riding a bike” “a violent bike” “it’s like punching a bike”

“I came here to study ghosts, not become one!” “Imagine how much study you could do if you became one!” “I can’t hold pens!”

“The gilded idiot”

“Hands in the middle. Aaaaand dead Barnaby!”

“I’m choking a guy out… with my thighs”

“I smile. In a way that conveys limitless rage”

“I do not want to be traumatised because of archiving!”

“Won’t someone think of the molluscs?”

“Lilly and Zilly on a wedding adventure”

“Generally I judge things, but sometimes I choke them unconscious”

“The tiny urchins really wanted us to do it”

“No one tell him he has NO SOUL”

“Who is this anthropomorphic mouse?” (It was a child)

“Sorry I tried to fix it with fish”

“I’m going to start a clock that the wonderful mechanical man is working on without any of you”

“Are these children going to be okay?” “We’re they okay to begin with?”

“Stop making out with that brick!” “I’m not- do you know what making out is, Edvard?”

“I let my hatred of stairs get the better of me”

“I’m furious at my forearm.”

“It’s a piece of trash! Looks like something Edvard would make!”

“Mechanical man parts”

“Moving on briefly from infanticide, good job, I just asked you for your name”

“A healing cloak is quite hard to fill so I thought stuff that, I’ve acquired 2 giant goats”

DEADLANDS

“How old are you?” “Old enough. Are you old enough to make good decisions?”

“No more digging graves for neat, I’m gonna be putting people in graves for money!”

“I had a mule once.”

“That’s adulthood. Being angry all the time, but pushing it down until it’s the right time.”

“Have you ever met someone in your life who doesn’t like jerky?”

“I REMEMBER IT BEING A SIN”

“Let’s hope they’re extremely religious”

“Yeah well Andy’s lying, Andy wants us to fail.”

“I like to drink milk after I shoot two men in the throat”

“Very well then, Mr… not free”

“As you pass by the door, it does clip on the brim of your hat and it falls over your eyes and you can’t see anything.”

“Okay, okay.” *silence* “AAAAAAAH”

“I look at the other one, which seems like his spirit it hasn’t been broken yet 😡”

“I’m saying it nicely but in my head im like: I will kill you later.”

“Not trying to be rude, why do you smell so bad? I’m not trying very hard”

“Contracted late-stage tuberculosis. Got better.”

“Animal that’s been jerked”

“Tell me your life story”

“JERRY WHY”

“Horses can play, and you’re worried about if they can sit?”

“I’ve got a d8, but it’s now -2, because I’m DEAD”

*stabs someone in the eye* “oh sorry, I simply stopped paying attention!”

“Heck. Furthermore, dang.”

“One of the strangulation ones.” “Oh fun!”

“Is sharp rope a thing? WELL SHARPEN IT.”

“Sticky mc bang bang!”

“It was a terrible crime, I cut my lawn and i cut it too short. Anyway I’m to be hanged.”

“The cell is now swarming with ants.” “Yay!”

“Murder, for example, would be a no no!”

“He’s the same old Nate he’s just soft and cold”

#Holy hell there are a lot aren’t there?#Well.#dnd #dnd the oxventure #the oxventure #the oxventure presents blades in the dark #blades in the dark #Oxyeehaw #the oxyeehaw

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sarucane · 1 year ago

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Glorious Good Omens S2 Missable Details

I watched Good Omens S2 roughly 507 times the last few weeks (been a rough month, it kept me afloat and I'm eternally grateful), point being:

Tumblr Reader, please benefit from my wild-obsession and read on for good deep-cut bits to pay attention to on your next rewatch:

Episode 1

-Crowley has a very slightly different accent in the opening scene. It's a bit more "proper" and "angelic."

-Maggie's shop is called "The Small Back Room," and she tells Nina it started out as a corner of Aziraphale's bookshop...one of his back rooms.

-Crowley's newspaper says that voters named Tadfield the best village in England--and that the weather there remains perfect.

Episode 2

-There are crows visible and audible in the background riiiight after Crowley "smites" the goats.

-"Jim's" bendy-fan book is a Terry Pratchett's first Discworld novel "The Colour of Magic"

-Someone wrote the whole article! Apparently business at "The Resurrectionist" slowed down when "Everyday" got old, but now people are showing up just to witness the miracle.

-The fellow at the pub who Aziraphale miracles out of a chair has a newspaper that mentions Milton Keynes. Most of the article is out of focus, but Milton Keynes is a city that, in the book, both Crowley and Aziraphale took credit for.

-Job, when introduced, is leaning against a pile of steaming manure. I'm aware that I'm an idiot for not noticing this right away...

Episode 3

-Jim is using a mug that Aziraphale had in the first season. Either he or Aziraphale has added the label in the interim.

-Muriel doesn't say "cup of tea," she says "cuppatea," because she didn't properly hear what Aziraphale said.

-At some unshown point, Crowley takes over body-hauling duties for Elspeth

-Beezlebub hauls their chair horn-ed chair around to 2-3 rooms over the whole season--and is also, on reflection, clearly quite worried about Gabriel here and in episode 1.

-Aziraphale finds the surgeon's whiskey to be a step too far, smell-wise.

-Laudanum courtesy of Cut-me-own-throat-Dibbler. It's a miracle the thing had any effect on Crowley, it was probably mostly rat urine and even more questionably sourced water.

-When Crowley tells Elpeth to leave just before she exits stage left, he calls her "hen," which is what Wee Morag almost always called her.

Episode 4

-Mark Gatiss's (Nazi Male Sidekick) arm is falling off half the time because he's the one who was holding the books that Crowley demonically saved. The nazi's arm was sticking out of the rubble, holding the suitcase, to make it easy to retrieve the books. Hence it got tugged by both Crowley and the scavengers, and fell off by the end of the episode. Serves the book-thief right.

-The Nazi Zombies hang in the Dirty Donkey to spy on the fellas in the bookshop--the same pub Crowley and Aziraphale visit in E2, and the pub that the heaven elevator commanders in E4 and E5

-Aziraphale gets nervous and seems to jump to the end of his act when he asks the audience who has experience with firearms. He hasn't told Crowley that this will be the cue. So, quite reasonably, Crowley does not raise his hand when asked if he has experience with firearms.

-Listen to the credits all the way through to the end of the music here: the audio changes. I don't know music well enough to know what happened, but it's fun.

Episode 5

-The owner of "Marguerite's," the French restaurant, is in fact named Justine. When she goes into Aziraphale's shop for the ball/business meeting, her accent has changed completely.

-All the candles we see on the chandeliers, as well as the candles in the next episode, are battery-operated.

-Nina's the only one this season who gets to drop the f-bomb.

-Mrs. Sandwich and the whole sequence. Google Discworld+seamstress guild if you don't get it.

-The music shop owner took the Doctor Who manual with him when he fled the demons.

Episode 6

-When Crowley changes his clothes to look angelic, the only thing he's wearing that's ACTUALLY white are his hilariously dumbass white slippers.

-The box that Gabriel came with is now storing a bunch of books, pamphlets, and papers. Two of these are the lost Shakespeare plays mentioned in the original Good Omens novel: Golde Diggers of 1589 and The Comedie of Robin Hoode.

-Gabriel's first 2 memories appear after he goes down an orange-red tunnel. But after he and Beezlebub have their first "background" meeting, the tunnel becomes blue. The whole thing ends (after bookending, Crowley says "let there be light" in the first episode and Gabriel says it in this one) with Gabriel's eyes turning purple...blue+red.

-Background acting appreciation: 1) look at Gabriel when Beelzebub says Shax could be Grand Duke of Hell, 2) look at Aziraphale in the corner when Crowley talks to Shax about his apartment, he's nodding vaguely while staring dreamily and it's adorable, 3) also rewind and check out Martin Sheen in episode 2 when the angels come to the shop, he's in the background being terrified and it's amazing

-...I can't resist: based on episodes S01E06 and S02E06, one way or another this'll end with nightingale song

#good omens #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens season 2 #go2 #@neil gaiman #well that was fun

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kobblefort · 1 year ago

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Blackfaint: Rat World Forever

This is what happens when I click on the "PETITIONS" button, which no doubt is alerting me that the newly established farmers' guild wants a hall. I don't think your average player of the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress is ever going to see this. It's kind of cursed, but it's kind of magical. I can't dismiss it, which will drive me crazy since it does that little "shimmering" animation. I suppose I'll just have to assume that making the guild hall nice enough will make it stop. I don't know, I'm not in a hurry to please them. Now if there was a herbalists' guild, though? Those are the guys holding it down.

Another strange mood takes another rat straight to the clothier's shop that made Eeteek go berserk and start the fight that ended in their death. I suppose Vatekeek Learnedmaligns thinks it will be fine for him which in my opinion is the proper rat world attitude.

Also, things were going too well for a minute there, so here come 9 lesser rodent people. I was telling this to someone earlier but I think that rats are pretty cool in real life. Rats are like dogs stuck in rodent bodies basically. But mice are horrible little skittering creeps that will randomly run out from the walls just to die in the middle of your fucking floor like oh do you mind if I randomly die here, if I just roll over and die in the middle of your fucking floor, well I'm going to do it if that's alright, actually me and my 100 little cousins thought it would be cool to just scamper around as fast as possible at 3 AM and then randomly suddenly die, there's no way to get us out besides doing chemical warfare on yourself, blame yourself for living in a garage even though it wasn't your idea and you didn't want to do it. So basically mice fucking suck and the rodent men, naturally, are mice, compared to us, the superior rats. And we're really gonna need to figure out a way to make sure they end up dead on the floor. Which should be totally doab

This sucks man

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. The violence is fast and extreme and really fucking bad and we don't have nearly enough graves to start burying everyone. The only people who can really fight are the miners, and the mouse people brought actual steel spears this time: that's a huge advantage in range and damage. We're down to 13 rats. Considering I was thinking that we would actually get to 50 and then maybe that would let our rats elect a mayor of some sort which would maybe let me use the Nobles & Administrator screen and its myriad functions, this is a pretty fucking shitty result. I guess worrying about the surface first was the wrong move but honestly it was a blind 50/50 anyway. It might be worth it to just say fuck it and lock off the caverns for a while. There's no way with this few rats that we could easily set up any kind of bulwark, we still have 100-something food, I don't know I'm kinda just feeling pretty gutted over how fast things went to shit like from okay to terrible in an instant, I know I just did that "rat world forever" bit like 30 seconds ago in your time and 30 minutes ago in mine but yeah I'm not feeling it.

This fucking asshole pays me back for being nice and refusing to Cask of Amontillado his ass by flipping out and dragging our population down to 10 so far, maybe more. Even with a copper pick splitting his leg open he still crawls along trying to fight anyone who gets near. He struggles on and on until finally an herbalist Ch'tk Sinscaly who's tired of this shit walks over and strangles him to death.

Wow, I wonder why. Next fortress, workshops are DEFINITELY going to be set up for easy cask-of-amontillado'ing.

This asshole is here now. I don't know. The caverns are already sealed off, so who cares. I've never seen something break through sealed doors, but now I definitely am not going to unseal them. It kills the last few mice in a matter of seconds and then sets about lazing around right by the entrance to the cavern to make sure we never go back in there again.

Yeah come on in guys don't mind the other 10 notifications. Sure we can host some fucking elf poets and shit. Whatever. Is one of you naked? Lol, cool.

Oh yeah don't mind all the bloody fucking warm corpses starting to stink on the ground. Yeah this guy failed to Express Himself so he went around killing people. You get it. Right. Sorry we don't have time to watch you fucking dance or whatever we have to feed and water the grievously injured. But yeah stay as long as you like. Actually you know what though try not to eat too much. Just gonna say it we're not gonna have this food forever.

No Thicivi I don't think it is and you might not actually be a very adequate observer.

This shit happens downstairs which sucks. RIP our first forgotten beast I guess. Gotta watch out for those steel spears man. They're bullshit.

The bodies are just sitting on the floor because we're using the empty tombs for people whose remains we can't recover. I just had an idea, because I hate the caverns now and want all mouse people to suffer. What if we just drowned them. Right? Hear me out. It's a pretty common and kind of grim trap in the real world to drown mice by making them take bait in the middle of a bucket on a thing they fall off of into the bucket. Well what if we brought the bucket to them? And by which I mean dug a bunch more aquifer taps that led straight down into the cavern layer and just flooded it to hell? I think it could be funny. If we were always doomed to never make it here then why not do something fucked up like that.

Look at this face in the cistern. It's like an omen. I didn't make it on purpose but now it's here. Telling me "this is a place of great suffering." And you know what my reaction to that information is? Yeah I hope there's more.

So here it is. An absolute mess of exposed aquifer surface area, leading to little narrow high-pressure tunnels that terminate with one little spigot into the caverns.

And it's working. It's working fast. Yes, I used DFhack to speed it along - two injured miners were not about to hustle on it and I wanted to see it start happening already.

Maybe this was just a party that got out of hand. You know? Maybe this was just a shitty idea. Leaving the warband to settle down? Fuck that. Other people make fortresses. Ratfolk take them. This was never a fortress. This was just a big bucket to drown a bunch of stupid fucking mice in.

The ten of us left can head back to Malignreasons, wherever she's camped now, apologize for our stupid little excursion, take the flogging we're given and go back to doing what ratfolk are really supposed to do. None of our original seven have even survived, besides K'keek Vicescourge, after all - with their untimely deaths they left all the shame and humiliation for us. Rat world was pretty cool for a second there, it really was, but it's time for us to get back to our real lives. Real rat lives.

You can see there in the center, the rodent men scrambling for high ground as the water comes up to their knees. Their home ruined, some of them washed away to be drowned in their cages. Of course it's inhumane, but was the way they jammed us with spears and chopped us with axes humane? Besides, humane? News flash, we're fucking rats!!

Everyone starts filing out. Some head back toward the warband, some just head whereever their feet take them. Everyone but K'keek Vicescourge, who spends a bit more time here. Carving stone coffins that will never actually be filled. The guests just stand in the sad, empty dining hall, completely dumbfounded. And K'keek starts on one last project.

With a ghost at her back, in the worst mood of her life, but still compelled to carve it and place it. The first statue ever made at Blackfaint. And the last one. The only one.

She's ready to go now.

Rat world sucks.

Rat world forever.

#dwarf fortress #ratfort

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consequencesofargentdawn · 1 year ago

Note

You've been a thorn in my side for a long, long, long time now CoAD. A few screenshots of some things said in jest won't be enough to bring me down. Your blog has done nothing in the past few months apart from cause a few weak willed members to flee like the rats they are. Even though you've been trying to get into Shewp's head, he is far more resilient than a cretin like you gives him credit for.

The PCU is a -legion- and members are loyal. For every person that has left, more people have joined. CoAD will be too cowardly to post this, but know that the PCU is still growing stronger despite the claims made here. I want you to know that -I- like many others will very much be going down with the ship if you ever did happen to succeed (which you will not). You will never drive us from this server and we won't bow down by choice.

It will only be a matter of time before we find out who you and your editors. We know you have agents within the PCU as well, both old and new - they are being hunted within renewed effort and will be discovered and blacklisted for abetting you. You have had nothing more than a few 'minor' victories CoAD - the war is on going and there is only room for one of us in the future of Argent Dawn.

Hold on, let us get the 'how to deal with an internet tough guy' textbook.

Firstly, how is losing five guilds in four months doing for you? We found it rather funny that even after Grim Gest, Cleft of Shadow and Ardent Pursuit merged with their opposite faction counterpart ( We thought neutral RP was bad! ) These guilds have continued to lose numbers rather than gain them.

More on the PCU census soon actually, keep an eye open sports fans.

The PCU is anything but legion and loyal. Considering a majority of our contributions come from members or ex members disaffected with what is happening. A failed vanity project with its founder now actively trying to pull people off WoW. Guild leaders and officers repeatedly shown to engage in threats of violence and being sex pests. "THREE HUNDRED MEMBERS STRONG" is now barely down to about 30 active members at any major PCU event, the size of a normal guild.

Twenty five failed guilds, of which twenty have gone dead since Perroy fell off the radar last year. Your guild leaders are insulating themselves or outright abandoning ship. Vitsaus nervously stops advertising his guild as PCU in trade chat, all of your elf guilds have imploded spectacularly. Talirei(Azure Dawn), Lunarglade(Eternal Sisterhood) have ran off to make pseudo-PCU guilds with their loyal followers (The Sunspear and House Bemoux respectively). Even the nominal leader of the PCU, Gruggosh has made an insurance guild on the Alliance as the Sword of Triumph.

We fully expect the likes of you (either Coalburnt or a Grim Gang stooge writing this) to go down with the ship in emulation of your primary inspiration. Der Untergang of the PCU is already inescapable at this point and the whole server knows, we're just watching and waiting for the last rants of the PCU 'Endsieg' to whimper out.

So please, do continue showing yourselves to be the biggest clown convention Argent Dawn has ever known, please do continue to bully and harass your own members for non-compliance and ideological impurity. Please do continue to try and fail miserably at identifying 'big bad CoAD' and showing how much we live rent free in your heads. You only show the rest of us what kind of sick and demented people exist inside the PCU, so obsessed with image and control and unable to fathom people enjoying their hobby in a way they dislike.

#confessions of argent dawn #pcu #argent dawn eu #harassment #hypocrisy #bullying #coalburnt #morsteth #perroy #who is coad?

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videobobbo · 1 year ago

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just a good semi-private place to say some things

wow, tumblr. hilariously, every text post I had for a month-to-month period was me going “wow, I have one of these?” and just writing after, and even 10 years later, I guess I’m doing it again.

my life is weird right now.

I love it in some ways. the girl I last wrote about here is my wife now! she said yes to a proposal in Tokyo (casual flex alert) and we got married in 2020 (cursed year that was). I’m in school learning how to make games! I’ve learned some small amount of 3D modelling and texturing and feel progress.

mentally, though, I just feel beaten down.

I’ve been unemployed for 3 years now. lost my job near the start of COVID, rode out unemployment (I mean, come on, why not), and have been having sort of an identity crisis about work since then. learned I am on the autism spectrum, which makes a hell of a lot of sense, but then it also makes me feel weird in some ways, like if that statement I just made is ableist or perhaps callous in some ways. a lot of the time lately, I feel a sort of apathy that’s halfway between peak 2013 suicidal ideation me and downtrodden sad boy me, which I can best describe as the feeling of not wanting to live but also not wanting to die. haven’t thought about tasting a gun while standing on the bank of the Truckee River, but also just feel like life, good though it can be, is just a grey mass of nothingness.

proud of myself for making some big moves. mutinied out of my old WoW guild and brought the cool and chill people I knew wouldn’t disharmonize the people left behind into a new guild, which caused no small amount of strife and people being assholes openly to me, but it was a pretty easy demonstration of why I was right to make the move in the first place. I still let this one infiltrate my thoughts a lot, mainly because even some of the people I thought were cool were rude to me on the way out, and I never like feeling like people are mad at me, even if I am valid and correct in my critiques, did a lot to try and fix things before moving on, and then ultimately was publicly irritated with them in a veiled and non-identifiable way. it’s been like 8 months since I ran out, but I still feel a little anxiety and apprehension about that whole thing to the point that I seek validation for my decision in all sorts of ways, some healthy and some less-than.

guess the biggest issue of the last few years for me has been this feeling of regression in life. I’m almost 40, and the thought of that feels so crushing and heavy in a way I can’t meaningfully describe. my gym rat phase of 2016 burned out hard and I’ve regained all the weight I took off in that 8 months, and given I burned over 100 pounds, that feels real bad, man. life feels directionless, rudderless, with every day feeling like I am in control and able to move the ship how I please but then never feeling like I have that control at the same time, with the same bad decisions, regressions, and complacency taking root all the time. my life in peak 2013-2014 era me was chaos, absolute fucking chaos, but I felt like so much was happening and even after sifting through the absolute pile of shit my life was becoming then, there were genuine diamonds and all these great little moments tucked into it. I’m making moves but at the same time I just feel like nothing is going anywhere and I have this deep sinking pit of regret I keep falling into where some days I just don’t do anything but sleep until noon, wake up, play video games and play with our cats, hang out with my wife, and then go back to sleep - and that sounds great too, but I just feel...empty.

I know the real answer is a mix of me needing to do things for myself and me needing outside help. I still feel this stigma against therapy, against antidepressants and medicating through it, and even now that weed is legal here and I often just pop an edible and ride through the worst feelings, it’s not the right answer. I feel this need finally, for the first time in my life, to go to therapy, to talk to people outside of my circle about the darkness that I so often feel, to get the right medications and treatments for dealing with all the things in my brain that just go so wrong for me. and yet I’m also scared, because American health care sucks ass, and so what if the meds are too expensive? what if the treatment is unaffordable even with insurance? what if I’m actually not ready to be that open with a relative stranger about my feelings?

I want to start going back to the gym, and we have a membership, but we’ve been lousy about it. I want to get my diet dialed back in to that 2016 level, but man, that’s tough - I genuinely only pulled that off because I was single and absolutely just in the zone with my focus.

my relationship with my parents is in absolute shambles, but a big part of that is that I even maintain it at all. it became very obvious that my mother just does not care about me at all - she couldn’t bother to even ask how we were doing when we got COVID last year, was at our wedding but forgot the anniversary just the next year, and has made her disdain for me very clear - and the signs were always there, but I refused to listen to them. now I just humor her phonecalls until she leaves me alone and refuse to go to family events, but I should really just open up about it to her and cut her out, because every phone call from her makes me physically ill and hearing from her ruins my day, literally - our honeymoon/anniversary trip was ruined for me because she called while we were driving to ask if I was gonna be at a thing for my sister when we told them already we wouldn’t, why we wouldn’t, and she just didn’t remember any of it (and with no memory issues or diagnosed things there). it hurts and I hate it, but I still haven’t found the courage to be open about it to her - and maybe I won’t, dunno.

I guess the last time I felt this dark, this stuck and crushed by life, things got better pretty fast and I had a banner year in my life. I keep hoping that is a trend and that maybe it will happen just like that again, but I also know I need to put the kind of effort in I did back then to make those things happen and guide them along. maybe writing that publicly is a helping first step to get there, even if I also kind of hope no one ever reads or as much as sees this.

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