#we haven’t interacted yet but i hope we do someday soon cause !!!

[aminiatureworld]

Return to Me

Characters: Albedo, Scaramouche, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,538

Warnings: Violence, Minor villain death

Premise: What is it like when the one you most adore becomes a stranger? And how’re you supposed to pick up the pieces?

In which the reader loses their memory.

Author’s Note: Just a note that this is not how actual amnesia works, and if you’re experiencing memory loss please contact your doctor.

That being said the amnesia is really good for angst and pining so how could I resist? It’s one of those guilty pleasure tropes I like to read and think of so I hope I did it justice.

Albedo

Albedo loved two things in this world, alchemy and you. They were what kept him centered, what kept him sharp and curious and full of life. So how could it be that one of those things should cause him such great unhappiness, and that said unhappiness should be the other’s suffering?

It had been a dangerous experiment, from the beginning Albedo was well aware of that. Testing whether or not elemental energy contained traces of elements via water could yield incredibly useful results about magic’s interaction with the ordinary world. But it could also backfire massively. Noxious gases, explosions, anything was possible.

But he’d thought he was prepared. After all you two had hiked all the way to the edges of Windrise specifically so no one would be around, and Albedo had even put up a barrier with the express intention of keeping anyone from getting hurt. It should’ve been fine, everything should’ve been fine, and yet when the Electro Slime condensate hit the water and the explosion knocked you both off your feet, slamming into the ground three meters from where you’d originated, he could only wonder how things had gone so wrong.

Picking himself up after a few agonizing seconds, every bone and muscle in his body stiff and aching from the sudden impact, Albedo crawled over to where you lay. To his horror you appeared to have hit a rock, and your head was bleeding slightly. Cupping your face in his hands the alchemist rasped out your name. The relief he felt when you opened your eyes was only momentary, replaced by shock and a sense of utter emptiness when you made out a groggy: “Who are you?”

Electro slime elements appear to contain no small amount of Chlorine, which, combined with only the hydrogen as a result of the electricity splitting the water molecules apart, caused an explosion. Although normally Albedo might’ve been thrilled by the discovery of an element only found mixed in the natural world, now he could only look upon that experiment with a raw sort of hatred that he hadn’t known he’d possessed. The ice around the alchemist’s heart had been burned away, and now all that remained was a burnt and shriveled up little thing, determined to make up for the lack of emotions by throwing its owner into the pits of despair.

Albedo spent all his time at first in the hospital and then in the apartment you two shared. You’d made an offhanded remark about how empty it looked, and Albedo had smiled awkwardly, not having the heart to tell you he could barely look at a piece of science equipment without a deep sense of loss. The doctors had said the effects should fade with time, but Albedo knew that there had been magic in the air, and a sick, twisted part of himself jeered that he was holding onto false hope.

It didn’t help that Albedo had been absolutely unprepared for the reality in which you couldn’t remember a thing about him, or your relationship. Never again would you rush up to him as you had before, excitement in your eyes and questions in your head. Memories of gathering crystal flies in the sunset and staying up all night, notes on old ruins swapped with sweet kisses and phrases that meant nothing at all, the beach where Albedo had sketched you for the first time and you had given him your first gift, all that was nothing to you, the stories of a stranger told by another.

“The first gift you gave me was a flower preserved in a solution of Cryo.” You said, words awkward and unsure in your mouth. Albedo knew that you weren’t really remembering it.

“That’s right,” he replied, voice light and calm, trying desperately to keep the despair from showing on his face. “It was a Cecilia. You said that it looked as if it was made of snow.”

“It sounds beautiful,” you replied, speaking more to yourself than to him, “I wish I could remember it.”

“You will someday, I’m sure of it.” He smiled, but the movement felt like too much effort to keep up and soon his face collapsed once more into an expression of melancholy. As if noticing this you smiled slightly in turn.

“Does it still exist?”

“Yes,” Albedo gazed out the window that faced you two. Beyond the buildings, only a few streets away lay his laboratory, locked away and gathering dust, “it does, but I cannot get it right now.”

“Oh,” you seemed at a loss for words, glancing down towards your hands, “that’s alright. I’d rather remember it on my own anyways.”

Albedo said nothing to this. Moving to place his hand on yours he paused. He was a stranger to you. This little act of comfort, all the little gestures he’d gotten so used to were now impossible. Dropping his hand to his side he moved to get you a glass of water, desperately trying to ignore the pain burning in his chest and in his heart.

_____

“Are these yours?”

Albedo placed the bag of groceries he’d just gotten on the floor. Moving over to where you were sitting, you were taking a break from adventuring until you remembered more, a decision made by the doctors for fear you’d forgotten how to control your vision. You had recently moved on from mostly sleeping to exploring your once familiar home, and now you sat curled on the couch; in your lap was a familiar book. Leaning over Albedo glanced at the page you were on.

“Yes, they’re mine. I like to sketch in my free time.”

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured, running your hand reverently over the slightly stained page, “I can see the different shades in the mountain, even if it’s only a pencil drawing.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Albedo smiled to himself, the memory of that day offering him some solace, “it was quite a difficult thing to draw.”

“It had an odd name.” You scrunched your nose slightly in concentration, an expression so cute Albedo could help but let out a huff of bittersweet laughter.

“Dragonspine. That’s the name of the mountain.” Turning to put the groceries away he paused when you spoke once more.

“No. That wasn’t it. It was something else. V-Vida something.” Albedo watched, incoherent thoughts and emotions clouding his mind as you retraced the circles you’d been making on the page beforehand. Suddenly your fingers stopped and you looked up. “Vindagnyr, yes that’s it! There’s a fortress up there, a, what did you tell me they were called, a domain. And that’s the name of it.” You closed your eyes once more. “Something happened there, something to do with you. I can’t remember it, if I was there or if you told me about it before, but something’s there. Something important.”

Albedo felt as if he must’ve been dreaming. The same sort of emptiness that had filled him at the beginning of this catastrophe was there, but this time there was something else, the bitter feeling of a hope that he couldn’t be sure of filling his lungs and his mouth. He turned back towards you, teetering forward as he tried to grasp the situation.

“Yes. That’s right. Vindagnyr. The name it had before it was essentially destroyed by Durin. I met the Traveler there, a week before I met you.” He sat down on the chair adjacent to where you were sitting, memories filling his mind. “It was also the first place we performed an experiment together.”

“I’d like to go there again then.” Your face was one of open triumph and excitement, and there was something in your eyes that Albedo thought he might never see again, a sort of recognition that he thought had been lost, “I know you haven’t been to your work once. I suppose it would make sense, considering what happened, but would you take me there?”

“Of course.” Albedo’s voice was sure and solid.

“Even though I might not remember more.”

“Even then.”

You reached your hand out to the alchemist, and after a second Albedo took it. He ran his thumb over the back of your hand slightly, and you made no move to withdraw, instead squeezing his palm slightly.

You had remembered something. It wasn’t everything of course, and there was no guarantee that there wouldn’t be heartbreak up ahead, wouldn’t be frustration and sorrow and moments when hope seemed very far away. But as long as moments like this existed, Albedo could hang on. The anger and despair that had burned inside him remained, but now something stronger resided there.

And that was hope.

 Scaramouche

“Do you see them?” You whispered, raising your head slightly above the rock you were hiding under. Scowling Scaramouche made a cutting gesture with his hand.

“Yes I see them. And get back down!”

Although his tone of voice was harsher than usual you smiled a smile of understanding as you lowered yourself once more out of sight. Scarmouche took a deep breath in response, trying to control the coiling tension that sat in his stomach. Today’s mission was an unenviable one, made only worse by your presence, for Scaramouche knew these were no ordinary enemies, and though you could take care of yourself just fine there was a nagging in his head that refused to be silenced.

Your targets sat encamped up ahead, completely nondescript in appearance, although that was hardly surprising of deserters of the Fatui, especially ones of such high caliber as them.

Scaramouche’s expression twisted into a scowl of concentration once more as he thought about the moment when you two had received your orders to get rid of those who knew of the dealings of the army of the Tsaritsa, and who were certainly willing to dispose of said secrets for the right price. Although they were no doubt traitors of the worst sort and worth less than dirt, there was still something unpleasant about fighting people who had once been comrades. You’d mused it was because of the bonds of mutual struggle and culture, but Scaramouche suspected for himself it was more the annoyance of fighting people who were at least somewhat trained.

Scaramouche gave the signal and you crept once more out from behind your hiding spot. Manifesting your polearm Scaramouche could already see the well worn metal steaming. This battle was going to be bloody.

At first everything had gone well enough, being hidden on a ledge about the camp you’d managed to do a great deal of damage, made easier by their surprise and ill planned position. However things quickly began to turn sour. The ex-Fatui might not’ve had the equipment of their army days, but they retained the ruthlessness that had once made them so efficient and now made them so dangerous.

There was an odd smell running through the valley, the smell of electricity and something burning. Scaramouche stood in front of a man who had certainly once been a vanguard and a woman who appeared to have been a Cryo mage. Sweat coated their faces but Scarmouche felt cold with the thrill of battle. Electricity crackled to life in his hands and already bits of electricity were dancing on the charred and dinky armor of his enemies. What were they thinking sending a Harbinger against a pathetic group such as this? It was laughable, really.

“Such a pity that members of such an elite force are going to die like dogs.” He drawled. The woman in front of him gritted her teeth, summoning a trail of icicles which Scaramouche easily leapt over. “Is that truly your worth?” He laughed, before the calm that always came with killing washed over him. “Your best is hardly worth my worst.” Gathering electricity, Scaramouche prepared for the final, searing strike.

The man in front of him smiled a sickening sort of smile, the kind that one made only when they knew that it was the end, and then it all went wrong.

The sound of your voice was muffled by the energy approaching Scaramouche from behind, as the outline of a transparent sort of figure clipped his vision. Quickly whirling around Scaramouche was unprepared for the third ex-Fatui member, an agent who had apparently learned his skills well, bearing down on him. Raising his hands, the Harbinger was suddenly thrown aside by an unknown force. Fire made contact with lightning and the ground exploded.

Fighting to retain consciousness Scaramouche was aware of the sickly smell of burning flesh. Blinking away the confusion he glanced at the carnage around him. The agent lay haphazardly, face half obscured by a mass of flesh that must’ve once made him up but now seemed out of place. Behind him the other agents had hardly feared better, and the charred visage of mangled flesh replace what had once been arms, legs, necks. It was an unsettling view, and though Scaramouche couldn’t say it was the worst thing he’d ever seen it still left a vile taste in his mouth. How quickly a fragile little human could come undone, made into that which was unrecognizable.

Finally he fixed his gaze towards you, relieved to find that there was no apparent wounds, although that perspective shifted slightly when viewing your hands, which were covered with welts. Your fire must’ve mixed with his electricity, causing an overload of energy, and you two lying in the eye of the storm. Scaramouche looked at his own hands, and realized they were similarly reddened. Ignoring the pain he shook your shoulder. “Get up.” He let out when you finally opened your eyes.

However it was apparent very quickly that something was wrong. You eyes held no recognition in them, instead they seemed as blank and transparent as a mirror. Looking at him you furrowed your brow slightly.

“Where…” your gaze drifted towards the scraps of humanity around you and then there was nothing but screaming and a wetness on Scaramouche’s cheeks that felt suspiciously like tears.

“You need to get back to work.” Signora’s voice betrayed no sense of pity. Scaramouche was glad for it, he wouldn’t’ve been able to forgive her if there had been.

“I doubt those imbeciles need me for something as simple as the daily regime. If they do it’s their fault, not mine. I owe them nothing.”

“You owe them your work, it’s your duty as a Harbinger,” Signora’s eyes narrowed, “or have you forgotten that in your folly.”

“I’ve forgotten nothing!” Scaramouche snapped, eyes boring into those across from him. “I am well aware of what my obligations are and what they aren’t. As I said there is nothing of importance fir me right now, and I don’t wish to waste away my time with trivial matters.”

“What would our dear Tsarina think of such words,” Signora let out a dramatic sigh. Raising the glass she was drinking from to your lips she paused, “you best be careful. I cannot shelter you from your folly forever. Either you learn how to deal with this… unfortunate incident and your work, or I shall have that person thrown out into the snow.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Scaramouche’s tone was like acid and he felt for the moment as if letting go of himself wasn’t such a crime, for now there was no one to chastise him about it anymore.

“I’m warning you. Don’t forget what happens to those who cannot fulfill their duty to the Tsarina,” Signora paused, a cruel smile gracing her face, “or have you forgotten who caused this in the first place.”

It was all Scaramouche could do not to set the tent ablaze.

“Get. Out.” He commanded. Signora sighed, shaking her head and downing her drink in one go before walking out and leaving Scaramouche with the feeling of falling apart.

_______

“Do you sing?”

Scaramouche lifted his head at the sound of your voice, surprised by the question. You hadn’t said much since the aftermath of the incident, and Scaramouche hadn’t forced you to. After all it was one of the things he’d first appreciated in regards to you, you’d never forced him to talk when he didn’t want to. Now he felt the need to afford you the same courtesy, knowing that intelligence still lay behind those eyes even if recognition had disappeared. Now he put down the document he was reading, smiling wryly and shaking his head.

“No. Why would you think that?”

“Because that’s what you’re called isn’t it? Your name, one of your names. The… the Balladeer?” You said it as if it was a question, and perhaps it was. Scaramouche couldn’t think however, couldn’t think over the rushing in his ears.

“Where did you hear that?”

“I don’t know. I just heard it. Or I remembered it. But that’s who you are, isn’t it?” You smiled, and for a moment Scaramouche could almost imagine life was as it was before. “Can you sing for me?”

“No.” This conversation had happened before.

“Fine,” you shook your head, “but one day I want you to sing for me, when I remember everything, then I want you to sing for me.”

“Fine.” Scaramouche managed to get out, afraid of the rising emotions he felt, afraid they might break through his voice.

“You’re missing work, aren’t you.” You continued on, gaze piercing through him. “I can tell, I can hear people whispering about it when I go out. I’m not supposed to be here, and you’re supposed to be working. If what you told me really is what happened, you should work.”

“Ridiculous,” Scaramouche scoffed, “I can manage my own affairs. Besides,” his voice grew softer, as if he didn’t want to reveal himself to you. You were too familiar, but still a stranger, and a part of him hid behind the walls he built up around everyone else, the walls only you could climb over. “Besides, who would look after you.”

“I can look after myself.” Your answer was as confident as it had always been. “I have to, since I trust what you’ve told me about myself, about this work, this world.”

“It was you not looking after yourself that lost you your memory!” He was shouting by now, he was shouting but he couldn’t stop because if he stopped shouting he’d be crying.

“Perhaps. But it’s not looking after me to end up like the people we fought. So go to your work. And maybe one day when you come back, I’ll remember.”

He couldn’t say no to you, eventually you won. It had been that way since the beginning, you tearing down his bluffing and his empty promises. Perhaps it was what he appreciated most about you.

Every moment Scaramouche was away from you felt like he was betraying a part of himself, a part he had hid for so long. But you were right, just like before, and just like before you’d won him over with your honesty, your refusal to back down, and your view of the Harbinger for what he truly was, someone who was deep down truly afraid. That part of you remained, somehow without memory and without certainty it remained.

And if that part of you remained, well maybe some day the rest would return.

 Xiao

“Xiao look!” You let out a cry of delight as you threw yourself off the tall stone mountain, glider unfurling in a vibrant waves of color as you began circling in the air. Xiao scowled from the tree in which he was perched, unwilling to humor you in your folly.

“You’re going to be injured.” Although he hadn’t meant for you to hear that you still laughed at the comment, shaking your head as you once more carved shapes into the sky.

“It’s a lovely day for gliding! The air is so fresh and the breeze is just enough to keep you upright!”

“It’s too windy.” Xiao’s voice was flat. This was foolish, what you were doing was foolish. He could feel the currents, feel their laughter, their excitement. They were surely up to no good.

But you weren’t paying attention to that, instead you were gliding about as if you were born to fly. It was a beautiful sight, Xiao had to admit. The beauty of those immersed in what they loved. And what Xiao loved was you.

“Come on Xiao!” You called out. “Come fly with me!”

“No.”

“Oh c’mon, I know you can do it!” Screwing your face into a pout when the adeptus once more shook his head you shrugged. “Your loss.”

Xiao knew you were disappointed, but he couldn’t help it. It seemed somehow out of place for him to join you in whatever you were doing. Besides, he needed to keep track of the currents, just in case.

You dove down for a moment, and Xiao felt his stomach clench, knowing full well what you were doing, but unable to keep the worry out of his mind. And yet then you were flying up, up, up, up and though Xiao wanted to scold you, wanted to tell you to come down once more, he was rapt, in awe. You were too beautiful, and it stole his breath away.

A gust of wind came blowing through the stone monoliths and as your wings buckled and you plummeted towards the ground Xiao found that he was truly unable to breathe at all.

Perhaps it was a blessing that you were unconscious. Then you didn’t have to feel the way Xiao held onto your shoulders as if he’d never let you go, the way he gasped for the air he was supposed to be in charge of, the way his eyes were devoid of everything but fear. You hadn’t fallen so far, he told himself, you hadn’t fallen so far it was fatal. You were breathing, you were going to be fine. But he found himself unable to believe those words. If you had said them he would’ve, but there you were, a crumpled mess and he barely able to process the world around him.

Crashing onto the Inn balcony, not caring about the odd looks thrown his way, Xiao made his way upstairs. You were going to be fine. You were.

If only he could believe himself.

“They’re out of danger now.” Verr Goldet’s voice was calm, unnaturally so, and Xiao only softened a little at the knowledge, sure something had gone wrong. “But…” the innkeeper continued, confirming all of the fears Xiao had been secretly nursing.

“But.”

“But there seems to be a problem with their memory. They were very confused at first, unable to remember things such as Liyue, their duty as adventurer, this place, things like that. At first we thought it would clear, but now it seems that isn’t so. Their memory might be affected for quite a while.”

“I want to see them.” Xiao brushed past Goldet, determined to help you if this was to be your fate. But Goldet’s next words stopped him in his tracks.

“Xiao, they can’t remember you.”

At first there was the feeling of falling. And then, as Xiao vanished, there was nothing.

______

At first Xiao was determined to stay away completely. It hurt too much, hurt to think about what had happened. At first he’d managed to survive on anger, anger at the world, at you not listening to him, at himself for letting it happen. But quickly the anger faded and what replaced it was a loneliness so vast he couldn’t believe that he had managed to survive in such a way before he met you.

Still he didn’t want to go, didn’t want to see you as you were now, unaware of him and perhaps destined to remain so. How cruel fate was. It took everything he knew from him and just when he began to live again it took that to. It took away your memory, your livelihood, and for what? To punish him? It seemed unfair, so unfair.

So he’d stayed away, afraid that something would happened again to you if he were to show himself again. But the knowledge of such emotions as love is something that doesn’t fade, and Xiao found himself unable to continue on as before, finding the pain too great. He had to see you. At least to say goodbye, he had to see you. It would be unfair not to do so.

The moon was full, casting a silvery light on the landscape. Xiao drifted over towards the roof of the Inn, thankful that he was invisible, so as to not have to experience the moment your eyes reached him but you didn’t.

Your silhouette appeared quickly enough in the darkness. You seemed somewhat preoccupied, and yet there was a purpose to your step, made all the more evident by the Qingxin grasped firmly in your hand, a brethren of the other flowers which lay scattered on the railing.

“I know you’re there.” At first Xiao jumped, thinking perhaps you’d somehow managed to sense him. However he calmed down once you continued, it appeared you weren’t truly talking to him.

“I know you’re there. And I wish you’d come back,” You continued, gazing out on the landscape around you. “I don’t remember your name you see. They told me your name of course, but I wish they hadn’t, I wanted to remember it myself. It must be why you left, of course you didn’t want to see me like this. If what they said was true…” you shook your head, “I know it was true. I know that it had to have been true, that I cared for you, that you cared for me. I know because I miss you.” Xiao felt his heart pound in his chest, so loud he could barely hear you.

“I miss you so much. Isn’t that odd? I don’t know you anymore and yet I miss you. It’s as if something is missing. I mean, of course something is missing but it’s more than just the memories themselves. It’s the feeling. Like going outside without a coat on. I miss you, even if I can’t miss you because I can’t remember you I do, I miss you dearly.”

You paused, placing the flower on the railing next to the rest.

“I hope you see the flowers before they fade,” you called out softly to the dark, “and I hope one day I can look at you again. I remember you had such lovely eyes. I’d like to see them again to be sure.”

For a moment Xiao didn’t move, frozen by all he’d heard. But the minute you turned to leave he was already there, bound by the feelings he had for you, by the knowledge that continuing as he had been would kill him, would only hurt you.

“Do you remember me?” It was a silly question to ask, but he had nothing else to say. You turned towards him and smiled softly. It was true, your eyes didn’t recognize him. But there was something in your gaze nonetheless.

“Xiao.” You whispered, and the yaksha knew that he’d never be able to leave again.

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

New Years

One-shot

Pairing: George x reader and Draco x reader

Prompt: You’re dating Draco but aren’t happy in the relationship. You’re spending New Years Eve at the burrow, and with your best friend George Weasley. George just so happens to be in love with you.

A/N: This is a change from my normal fandom writings. Hope you enjoy!

I watch as the Weasley’s fuss over each other’s new year resolutions. Every year they all come up with something they want to accomplish the next year. It is more of a muggle tradition but Mr. Weasley loves the idea, and the rest of them decided to go along with it. The twins become so passionate as they explain the plans for the joke shop that they finally have enough money to buy. Molly’s worried look lingers behind her eyes at the possibility of  their dream not panning out. She is one of the most loving and caring mother’s I have had the pleasure to meet.

My eyes focus on the fire and my thoughts wander to my boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. He was staying with some family nearby where I live to see me over the holidays. Though strangely, in the week he decided to stay I only got to see him twice. I planned both of them, and he didn’t bother to see if I wanted to meet on Christmas or Christmas Eve. He wanted to go back home for New Years. But he hates being home, it’s something I just can’t understand.

Most of my life I wanted to finally have a boyfriend. I always watched the couples in the halls of Hogwarts with a longing heart. Any muggle romance book and movie just continued to make me more picky of who I wanted. Least that is what my friends have always said. Somehow wanting a man who is also my best friend is asking too much. Where we want to spend a lot of time together, but can stand being without each other. I can’t stand clingy, but I do want some attention.

We talked a bit over the summer and went on a few dates. I really liked him, and I thought he really liked me. School starts and we can’t see each other as much, which makes sense. Now anytime we communicate or make plans it is because of me reaching out. I hardly feel like I have a boyfriend these days. Even with my little experience I know I need to talk to him about it, but as soon as the topic is brought up he states he likes the arrangement and then changes the subject. Leaving me with the unspoken words left on my lips. Maybe I am just asking too much?

He is walking me back to my front door after hanging out with some of his friends. We aren’t holding hands, which I think I should want. But this whole night I haven’t wanted to be touched. At some point we ended up at a restaurant and every once in a while Draco’s hand would rub against my upper back. The first time we hung out this week he didn’t touch me till our hugs goodbye. I wonder if the very little interactions has put me off from wanting his touch.

“What is just so great is that you don’t need my attention.” I try not to react. Instead I think about what he has said about his exes texting him until he would answer. “My mom agrees. You’re so independent it is really nice. Oh by the way I’m heading back home in the morning.”

“So you won’t be here for New Years?” I sneak a glance at him to see if he’ll realize. Draco’s face remains neutral, perhaps not realizing that boyfriends and girlfriends usually spend that holiday together.

“Nope, though you’ll be fine.” Draco shrugs his shoulders like he is so sure that I wouldn’t care. I open my mouth to ask why he can’t stay but I’m cut off by him talking about something Blaise said earlier tonight.

Standing in front of my front door and wonder if he’ll try to kiss me, I wonder if I want him to kiss me goodbye. What kind of girl doesn’t know if she wants her boyfriend to kiss her? Her first boyfriend. I thought I’d be giddy.

“Have a good new year’s.” Draco wraps one arm around my waist in a sort of hug. He then heads down the stairs and into the night.

My thoughts are interrupted by a certain red head twin sitting on the arm of the chair I am occupying. George peers down at me with a worried expression. He has quickly become a close friend over the last few months. I’m good friends with Lee Jordan and have known George for a few years. Since dating Draco I’ve seen a bit less of them to make Draco feel more comfortable, but I still hang out with them quite a bit. Have helped devise a few pranks.

“Your mum took the news well I see.” I smile hoping he’ll see my mask and not my conflicted eyes.

George came to me a little while ago saying he has a crush on a girl, but she has a boyfriend. He has been talking to me more often, answering my owls faster than Draco who lives closer. The way he describes this girl, sometimes I think it may be me. Every time that thought crosses my mind I shake it away. There is no way I am the girl. He talks like he is in love, that this is the one and he wants to tell her soon. Do I want it to be me?

“Everything okay, love?” George whispers close to my ear and I instantly nod in response.

“Just thinking about some stuff.” I say, trying to be as vague as possible.

Our conversations about this girl, and just things in general, has me wanting to talk to George more than Draco. George tells me stuff he hasn’t told anyone, other than Fred, and I can barely get Draco to tell me anything about himself of substance. I know Draco’s life at home isn’t great and has put up some walls. But I’ve also known Draco my whole life, we haven’t always been close but I’ve tried to show him that I am here. He won’t let me in and I am getting exhausted of trying with no encouragement or attention from him.

“Where’s Draco?” George asks as he fixes a strand of hair behind my shoulder. A warmth spreads across my face and I have to stop myself from smiling. “Isn’t there a New Year kiss tradition?”

“He went back home.” I manage with little emotion.

“Hmmm,” George’s small smile fades. “Well aren’t we lucky then. We get you this year.”

Hermione turns up the radio and music radiates through the Burrow. In the corner of the living room, I catch Mr. Weasley putting out his hand asking for a dance with Mrs. Weasley. The biggest smile lights up her face as she happily accepts his offer. Their arms wrap around each other as they disappear to their own world. A small dull ache flies through my chest. I finally have a boyfriend but I still feel lonely on holidays.

Through the room I watch people pair up. Ron with Hermione, Ginny with a surprised Harry, Fred even invited Angelina. I think George noticed the coupling up because his posture stiffens slightly. He takes a deep breath before pushing off the chair arm. I find him standing in front of me with his own hand out toward me.

“Would you care for a dance, (Y/N)?” George smiles causing you to smile. People say laughs can be contagious, but his smile is more contagious than anything I’ve ever experienced.

I place my cold hand in his and join him a few feet from the chair. The faster song is finishing up and another song quickly takes its place. Awkwardly, I look at George to see if he still wants to do this. There is no hesitation in his movements, and before I know it his free arm is wrapped around my waist. He pulls me in a respectable distance but you can see some nerves peaking behind his eyes.

He sways me back and forth, nothing special. Every once in a while he will twirl me, remembering how much I liked that during the Yule ball a year back.

A memory of Draco seeps in your mind. Back a few months ago Draco tried slow dancing with you spontaneously. It felt strained, like it wasn’t something he would try to do. I gave him points for trying and remembering how I love to dance. It was a one-time occurrence. I’ve tried to randomly start dancing around him in the hopes he would join in and loosen up, but no such luck. I decided that it just isn’t going to be one of our things.

Even with the initial awkwardness, dancing with George feels natural. Like this is how things are supposed to be. He pulls me back in from a twirl and I rest my head on his chest. I feel a twitch of his muscles and pull away realizing that I am out of line. I am with someone else. It must have just been an impulse right? People normally rest their heads on their partner’s chest, dancing partner that is. That’s it.

“No, it’s okay.” George whispers.

Even with his assurance I restrain myself. I keep my eyes focus on everyone else in the room. I see the way that Ron’s eyes sparkle as he watches Hermione smile as he twirls her. Even Harry seems to be enjoying himself. I know he is technically with Cho but I know he will end up with Ginny. Though I may be biased cause I just adore Ginny.

“If only the timing was right.” I say to myself.

“What?” George’s voice has hint of alarm.

“I’m talking about your siblings, Ron and Ginny. Ron is totally into Hermione, and Ginny has had a thing for Harry since she was eleven. But I don’t think Ron and Hermione are there yet, maybe a year or two. Harry is with Cho, for now. I can see Harry getting his head screwed on straight someday and realizing what has been right in front of him.”

George’s thumb rubs circles against my waist, sending a shiver up my spine. I really need to get a handle on my feelings. I don’t want to hurt George if I’m using him as an emotional filler for my absent boyfriend. On the side of things, I need to figure out if I should still have my boyfriend.

I take a mental note to remind myself to write him in the morning about constituting a weekly date night. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. A nice walk with good conversation would suffice. I just want quality time. I need to see if it is possible that I still want to be with him.

What about George? I sneak a glance up at him. He looks perfectly content, slow dancing in silence. His gaze fixed on the snow falling outside the window. My mind wanders to the past letters of conversation we’ve shared. He wants a girl to sit on the porch with during a thunderstorm, one to help carry the kids to bed when they’ve passed out on the couch.

_______ flies through my open window with a letter hanging from her beak. Getting up from my bed I make my way over hoping it is finally from Draco. I told him that since he is going to be in town during his birthday next week that I could spend as much time with him as he wants. I sent that owl, among two short ones about a week ago.

Getting closer though I recognize the address written in George Weasley’s handwriting. I let a sad smile escape my lips as I ignore the annoyance toward Draco building up. Do other girls have to try so hard to get their boyfriend’s attention?

Sitting back on my bed I take a deep breath and open his letter. A giggle stirs in my throat as I take in his messy handwriting. Recalling a time I had to help a professor decipher an assignment of his. They wanted to fail him purely on the untidiness of his letters.

“My Dear Y/N

First off, I have to tell you that in the envelop is a Weasley family Christmas card. My mum wanted to make sure we sent you one.

To answer your last letter. I agree that some girls are expecting a prince charming. Though I think some blokes aren’t willing to treat their girl like a princess either. If I somehow end up with this girl I like I want to try and give her everything she deserves and more.

I want us to carry the kids up to bed after they’ve passed out on the couch. To give her a porch she can read her books on and we can watch storms. I know we could fight like the world is ending but make up just as fast. Randomly dance with her in the kitchen as we make dinner. Make sure we get a date night a few times a month, because you should always date each other.

I am sure (Y/N) that you will find your prince charming. And that you are someone’s princess.

Love, George”

Choking on my breath, I struggle to breathe for a moment. How could any girl say no to that? It sounds like he is about ready to marry this woman one day if given the chance to love her. I feel my heart race at the small possibility that this could be me. Closing my eyes I allow myself to imagine it, everything in his letter.

Little kids running around with shiny red hair, jumping on furniture before calming down to a sleep. Me and George watching from the doorway, trying to be as quiet as possible in hopes of not waking them up. The two of us scooping them up in our arms, carrying them up the stairs into their rooms.

I’m reading on the porch. Book in hand on an outdoor couch with a blanket draped across my legs. A drum of thunder sounds off in the distance as a light rain begins to fall from the sky. Shortly after, George pokes his head out the front door with his signature grin. He asks if he can join me, like every time even though the answer is always yes. George lifts my feet up as he takes a seat and drapes them over his lap. We sit there in silence for a few moments before I slide my body over on his. I tuck my head in the crook of his neck and his arms wrap around me. Occasionally whispering about something funny the boys did, or a legendary prank, about what we love most about each other.

Snapping back to reality I groan as I think of how terrible I am. I am Draco Malfoy’s girlfriend and I am fantasizing a life with George Weasley. There is no one worse than me.

The song ends and I take the opportunity to put some space between me and the ginger. Noise crackles from the radio about the countdown. He announces that we are less than sixty seconds away from midnight. The girls squeal in excitement and Hermione quickly explains to Ron and Hermione about the muggle tradition of kissing at midnight. Of course this was explained earlier but the boys weren’t listening, as usual.

Ron and Harry agree to kiss Hermione on the cheek, but I notice the slight pink hue added to Ron’s complexion. Yeah they are definitely endgame material. Fred and Angelina take a seat on the couch, leaning into each other with the biggest smiles. They will definitely be a pair kissing at midnight.

An overwhelming, but familiar, sadness floods my chest as I take in the fact that I am alone for the New Year countdown. I make my way to the front door to get some fresh air. If I miss the countdown maybe the loneliness won’t feel as strong. It’s not that I miss him. To miss someone means that I had the opportunity to have them in my life in a way that is almost impossible to replace. Closing my eyes I can pretend that I am anywhere else perhaps even in a different time.

“Can I join you?” George’s voice appears from behind. I open my eyes and look up at the stars before nodding my head.

He slowly occupies the space beside me. His warm hand lightly brushes against my own and I have an overwhelming urge to hold it. Before another thought, George does it for me. Fingers intertwine together and I allow my head to rest against his shoulder. Shortly I feel his head rest lightly against my own. He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head causing tears in my eyes to form. Why can’t I figure this out? One problem at a time (Y/N). Figure out how I feel about Draco first.

“FIVE!!”

Their voices filter through the windows causing me to jump from George’s hold. I take a deep breathe remembering where I am.

“FOUR!”

Their shouts get louder and George calling my name gets lost behind their chaos.

“THREE!”

George steps in front of me. His gentle gaze looks onto my paralyzed eyes.

“TWO!”

My eyes flicker to his lips and back to his eyes. I watch him do the same.

“ONE!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”

George’s hand cups my cheek. He leans down as I push up on my toes and circle my arms around his waist. Our lips meet in the middle in a soft and delicate kiss. Showing how scared we are to push our boundaries. Suddenly the cold air enveloping my body disappears and is replaced with this invigorating heat. Starting up in more core, spreading through my limbs and I know George feels it too.

His free hand strokes my hair as he pulls me in close. I reciprocate by pulling him in as well and I can feel the kiss become feverish. Our lips move together in a dance, perfectly mirroring the other’s. His lips are soft and warm, gentle. I can’t help but feel like we were made to fit with each other. That there is no one else we were made for.

Draco. His blonde hair, pale skin, and rare laugh filters through my senses. An overwhelming pressure fills my chest and I can’t breathe. I pull away from George and all the warmth escapes me. Chills run up and down my spine, one right after another with no recovery time. My breath won’t escape past my throat and I can’t manage to breathe in enough to make a difference. I look down at my hands and find them shaking along with my legs and suddenly I am on the snow covered ground.

“I think this is the one.” Draco tells me what Blaise said about us. I hear his voice to the left, but as I turn to look I see nothing but the darkness.

“My mom asked me if I could see you being the one I marry.” Draco’s voice is now to my right. Turning my head again I see nothing.

“This should end in marriage,” it’s Pansy’s voice now. “I’ve been wanting you two together for so long.” Coming from her that is a big complement.

All these people believe that me and Draco are it. The couple that ends up spending forever together. That makes each other happy, who gets married, makes a family, and eventually dies together. But all I feel is completely and utterly alone, even when with him. As far as I can tell he doesn’t feel the same. He likes our arrangement. All these people are counting on this, counting on me to make it work. Have I tried enough? Am I enough? I can’t disappoint them? But could I in turn disappoint George?

“(Y/N),” George’s gentle voice breaks through the noise in my head. I can feel his warm hand on my shoulder and I cling my hand to his. His touch grounding me to reality. “Stop thinking about what everyone wants. Forget about your friends, Draco, your family, and even me.”

His other hand rests under my chin and guides me to look up at him. To look into his beautiful shinning eyes. The eyes that can always look into my soul and never show judgement when others would. He nods his head, signaling for me to do what he says.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I see my friends before me, lined side-by-side. I watch as they progressively appear smaller and smaller, until they are so far away I can’t see them. I do the same with my family and Draco. Seeing George swallowed up by the darkness almost causes me to ache. But he is soon gone too and I am left alone to my mind.

“Think about what you want.” George’s voice sounds far away even though he is right in front of me. As if one of us is underwater and the world around is muffled. “Imagine what will make you happy. Picture what is worth being upset about. Think of what you are willing to fight for. Take your time, and when you’re ready open your eyes.”

I picture myself sitting by the fire with a book in my hand, snuggled up with a blanket. The radio playing in the distance as a waft of the delicious dinner being made in the kitchen. Sleepiness pulls at my eye lids as a pair of smooth lips grace my forehead. He hands me a cup of tea and I watch the steam roll off and into the surrounding air. I can’t see who the man is. His face is fuzzy, confirming that I am not quite sure who I want.

Now I am in the kitchen making dinner. The radio fills the room as two arms circle around my waist. He turns me around and pulls me close to his chest. We don’t speak, instead we enjoy one another’s presence as our bodies drift through the kitchen.

Next I am on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down my face. My throat is raw from our argument. Of shouting over each other as we cried through it. We’ve been fighting recently about his long hours, only wanting to hang out with the guys, and not helping much with the kids. I watch the tears fall down his face and I have an overwhelming urge to hug him. I want him to know how much I love him, how much I want him, that I need him. That I want him to love, want, and need me back. And I do. I head over to him and hug him. At first he is shocked and then hugs me back. We both say we are sorry for hurting the other and decide to work this out.

The only thing that is missing is his face.

I open my eyes and I finally feel the cool wind blow against my tear-stained cheeks. George is still in front of me. I have no idea how long we’ve been in this position but judging by my cold legs it has been a while. Color lights up George’s face as his body attempts to keep him warm, and I suppose mine appears the same.

“Don’t decide now. Think about it more. I want you to be happy, (Y/N). If you choose him, or to be single then I’ll back off. I’ll be your friend if you still want me to. If you choose me though, I will do everything I can to make you happy.” He wipes away fresh tears from my cheeks and places an innocent kiss on my forehead. “We should probably go inside. I don’t want you getting sick from the cold.”

He offers me one of his hands and I gladly take it. As he opens the door the warmth from the fire hits me in the face and I know things will be okay. I will send an owl to Draco in the morning about needing more. I’ll see if he is willing to establish a date night, and see how I feel about him after a few of them. Because of the others I can’t give up without believing I tried. I know if I decide to break up with him that I’ll want to be single for a little while. Straighten out my mind better, make sure I can be what George deserves. And I’ll let him know that, and that he doesn’t have to wait around for me. Even though I’ll secretly will want him to.

What would you decide to do?

[shozaii]

Oh FRICK I loved reading your todoroki x reader fanfic. Can i request another one where everyone ships them cuz the reader is the only person who todoroki really smiles around. The others collect evidence that they like each other to set them up (e.g one of them saw that the reader is his phone’s wallpaper). But no one knows they’re already dating until they see them cuddling at a sleepover or smth. Tysmm

(a/n): ahh thank you so much anon! i’m so sorry this took me a while to publish but i’m so glad you enjoyed the previous one. i hope you enjoy this too!

requests are still open! feel free to send them in hehe

masterlist.

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surprise..?

a todoroki shoto x reader imagine

“alright, dear friends. i have gathered you in one of the most secretive places i could ever find! we are talking about serious business right now and i don’t want any interruptions from you,” kaminari begun, successfully stealing iida’s glasses from his dorm room to look ‘professional.’

“and you have chosen your damn bedroom for this,” bakugou rolled his eyes. “what the heck do you want from us?!” to which he got shushed immediately from the bakusquad members.

“silence! we shall begin. as you all know, we have noticed the strange behaviors of both todoroki and y/l/n.”

“HOW IS THAT STRANGE?”

“bro, he noticed it too,” kirishima mumbled, placing a hand over his mouth. “man, i knew you had it in you!”

“though,it’s obvious. how he smiles when she’s around, when she’s mentioned in a conversation. during the sports festival, he couldn’t stop looking at her.she passes by. and how he gets sad and stares at the classroom door when she doesn’t make it on time...,” midoriya mumbled.

“we do ask y/n about it, and they seem to be completely fine with it. like it’s a normal thing to happen!” uraraka pitched in.

she wasn’t wrong. the smiles you exchanged with each other are very wholesome. shoto doesn’t really smile around anyone - you knew that too. he seemed to really involve himself in his friends’ activities compared to the incidents before the sports festival, but with you, it was different.

it was different and it was adorable. you did see how your friends gush over the two of you. but you didn’t say much. they would know someday, right?

“exactly! which is why, our friend mina, has proof that something might have clicked between them for the past four months,” kaminari signaled her to stand up, as she cleared her throat. “his phone’s wallpaper is a picture of y/n,” she squealed after, followed by a bunch of screaming from the other girls.

“settle down! kaminari, what is the purpose of this meeting then?” iida chopped the air.

“hear me out, hear me out. we’re going to have more proof over the next few days. and then, only then, the sleepover coming this weekend would prove it all.”

“sleepover? but how?”

he rubbed his hands together in excitement. “it’s going to have to go like this.”

^^^

as predicted, the interactions they have witnessed proved kaminari’s theory even further. the little look you give him when he’s focused, the slight brush of your hands against his, the bump he gives on your shoulder, and you earned a smirk.

and as time flew by pretty quickly, the sleepover finally made its way. the whole class haven’t made it just yet,,, but you waited. kaminari was there with you, anyway. you were chatting away with him, while a movie was playing on the television.

soon enough, you and him saw shoto making his way to the now dimly-lit common room; a place frequently used for sleepovers. he waved at the yellow-haired boy, but you could see his face light up when he saw you all snuggled in the sleeping bag.

“hey hey todoroki! glad you could make it!” kaminari pointed finger guns at him, grinning.

“hello. where are the others? have we arrived a little too early?” shoto asked, looking at you.

“i’ll go find them, don’t worry! was just waiting for someone to accompany y/n...,” he cleared his throat. “didn’t want her to be alone.”

“aw, kami! you should’ve told me! i could’ve even come along with-,”

“nah, come on! um....help yourself with some snacks! be back in a jiffy!,” he dashed off, leaving you and shoto in the dark.

shoto breathed out a huge sigh as he sat next to you. “hello, love. you’re here pretty early.”

“hello, sho! yeah.... i was told to come earlier than the arranged time, so here i am. i guess the others need more time. he seemed pretty happy about it.” 

you giggled as he wrapped his arms around you. “i love your sleeping bag,” he said. you turned to look at his dual-colored eyes. 

“ooooo, we’re being cuddly today, aren’t we?” you sneaked a kiss from his cheek. “seems alright to me.”

“i missed this,” he said nonchalantly. “you and me, all snuggled up. though, we’ve never done this in front of anyone just yet.”

“oh yeah. well, might as well know about it someday!” you buried yourself further into his embrace, your eyelids slowly shutting themselves.his eyes were focused on the movie, while his hands caressed your cheeks. it was so calming.

and then, the both of you heard someone fall with a loud thud, causing you to jolt out of his arms. shoto looked around, worried of any major inconveniences happening in the dorms.

“kirishima!” you heard someone else whisper-shout.

“ow... i’m sorry! somebody tripped me..... oh, hey guys! uh, great night?”

“kiri!” you rushed over to him - to notice the group of missing students from the sleepover, hiding themselves in a dark corner. they all froze like deer in the headlights.

“wha- where were you guys? we-,”

it clicked in your brain. from the exact reason why kaminari invited you and shoto earlier than the rest, the reason why your friends didn’t make it on time; it all made sense. you blushed, now realizing what they saw before kirishima decided to ‘trip and fall.’

“alright, you idiots happy now?” bakugou grumbled.

the rest of the night was spent with half a celebration - the glory and the failure(they got caught) but what was your life without your wacky friends from UA? 

and isn’t it lovely, with shoto openly giving you the best cuddles throughout the whole sleepover? so yes - you were happy all in all.

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(a/n):here you go anon! it is really short but i hope it was worth a read!

[passionate-hedgehog]

Impasse pt 2

Impasse is a 3-part series revolving around Reader entering society in Regency-Era London. Completely inspired by me binging the entirety of Bridgerton in less than 24 hours, Impasse will end with either Duke Damien Haas x Reader, or Courtney Miller x Reader.

Pt 2.

Pairings: Eventual Damien Haas x Reader, Eventual Courtney Miller x Reader

Warnings: None

Word: 2187

A/N: I know that my masterlist links arent working. If you try to use it, and things dont go where you want them to take you...well...I warned you. I’m turning this into a 4 part fic. There’s no way I can comfortably fit what I want into 3 separate sections. Part 3 will be out when this hits 15 notes! Thank you to everyone that liked and interacted with the first part. And thank you to the fans of my toher works. I love all of you omg. Enjoy ♥

Chapter Summary: The social Season has officially begun. Deals are being made amongst friends and old flames are fanning. Will there be any sparks igniting as well?

“What do you suspect he wants to talk about?” After the morning activities with Lord Haas in the drawing-room, Y/n and her handmaid found themselves busy with average daily activities.  

Caroline’s expression was nonplussed as she stared at the back of Y/n’s head. The women were preparing Y/n for bed. The latter was in her chair as the housemaid brushed through her hair.

“Why must you give me that look every time I open my mouth?”

“Why must such ridiculous things come out of your mouth every time you open it?”

They discovered Shayne in his favorite study, books littering the desk he occupied. Y/n would always ask him when he planned on attending university but the young man tended to reply with something akin to “that’s not for me”. The young woman didn’t understand. She knew how smart her twin was, how clever he could be given the situation. Mayhaps one day he’d see the things he could accomplish.

“To what do I owe this visit?” The fair-haired man asked as his sister sat at the opposite side of his desk. A rather thick tome set open before him while his right hand held a fountain pen to sheets of parchment.

Y/n perched her arms along the length of the armrests and sat comfortably. “I thought I might see what you’re up to. But I find that you’re doing nothing different than normal. When are you going to talk to Father about university?”

Shayne restraint from rolling his eyes visible as he went back to his books, and scratching at the parchment. “When are you going to talk to me about Courtney?”

“What? That has nothing to do with...Shayne. My favorite twin, you could be doing so many more things if you were off to study. Collegiately.”

This caused the young man to sigh. “Y/n-,”

“I’m being serious here, Shayne. You’re in here, every day, reading and writing. It’s almost a different book a week. Sometimes, your nose is in a book about far-off adventures in distant lands and sometimes it’s about the history and tragedies of the lands around us. Look that book right there.” She motioned to the collection of parchment before Shayne. “I gather that one is not Shakespeare. What is it? The history of France?”  

Shayne lowered his head back to the pages before putting his pen back on the parchment, not meeting his sister’s eyes. “Spain, as a matter of fact.”

Y/n held a blank countenance. 

“I’m trying my hand at the Spanish language. Does that quell your curiosity?”

Y/n smirked. “You’re just proving my point.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” The young man laid his fountain pen on the parchment and clasped his hands together before leaning forward. “I’ll talk to Father about university if you read and respond to Courtney’s letter..”

The young woman grumbled and stood up from her chair. “Suddenly, I have a desire for some poetry. Caroline, I’ll be in the library. I’ll call for you if I need you.”

The handmaid nodded from where she stood by the fireplace, her hands clasped in front of her as Y/n walked to the door. “Of course.”

Y/n turned one last glance to her twin before exiting the room and found Caroline in the chair Y/n’s ownself just left. The handmaid was smiling at Shayne as he talked. The rosy tint to Caroline’s cheeks as the man laughed sparked Y/n’s curiosity yet still managed to make her smile. It was cute if she had to be honest. The handmaid had the tendency, lately, to be quieter than usual. While yes, Caroline was well-mannered and modest, it was different when Shayne was around. Had it just been the two women, Caroline could be witty. Y/n enjoyed that in the handmaid. It was refreshing and reminded her of a long-lost friend.

“For Heaven’s sake, Courtney. You’re not even here but you’re still here.” The young woman fiddled with a woven bracelet made from brightly colored twine.

“Y/n?” A voice called from next to her as her hand was on the doorknob to the library.

“Oh, Lord Haas! I did not realize you were here.” Y/n peered behind her companion and to her own left and right, in case she missed any other person.

“It’s just me. And please, call me Damien. We’ve known each other since we were young, back when we had all of our friends amongst us.” The duke gave a gentle pleading look. 

“I was a tad cheeky back then. I wasn’t going to call you by any title.”

Damien cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “You’re still a tad cheeky to this day. Am I wrong?”

Y/n’s matched his smirk before opening the door to the library and making her way inside. A witty remark was caught in her throat when her eyes caught someone standing next to the nearest shelving of books.

“Court-Courtney?” Her hand slipped off of the knob of the door. “What are you doing here?”

The light-haired woman bit her lip. “I wanted to visit. You never responded to any of my letters. I thought...I thought maybe something had happened.”

“You...I can’t...Excuse me.” The young woman turned around in haste and scurried away. She found herself in the empty kitchen trying to breathe through what just happened.

Good going. You’re such a coward.

“I’m such a coward.”

“No, you’re not.” Damien had followed her into the cooking area. He led her to a chair and guided her to sit. “Some refreshment might make it better?”

Y/n watched her old friend as he went about collecting items. She noticed how at ease he seemed going through her icebox and cupboards. How expertly he sliced up fruit. She couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in his livery, as well, but there was enough going on inside of her head. Damien approached the table with a modest platter and placed it in the center of the table before he sat himself in a chair across from her.

“I figure that some soft cheese might do some good as well as figs and berries. I hope they comfort you the way they do me.” He had gestured towards the food.

Y/n gave a thankful nod before reaching for a bite. “Thank you, Damien. This means very much to me.”

The man grabbed fig and brie, biting into them. “If you need to talk, I’m all ears. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. But I’m here.”

Y/n fidgeted with a slice of fig fruit. She mentally weighed her options before speaking again. “I haven’t seen Courtney in over a year. We got into an argument...about the things she wanted to do and where she wanted to be in life. I regret it. I regret it every day. I let our relationship ...decay...because I didn’t approve of what she wanted to do.”

“She wanted to work with horses, right? And entertain? That’s where she’s been this whole time?” Damien bit into some brie.

“I was treating her like she was someone like me. Someone that already had their life plans laid out for them. She was able to choose what she wanted in life.”

The young man studied Y/n’s face. “Y/n, were you...jealous that she had such an opportunity to live a dream that you tried burning bridges with her? She was your best friend. That had to be a hard decision to make.”

“It’s about more than that. I’m happy she was able to live how she wanted to...thrilled that she got to work with her passions. But..I wasn’t there with her. She wasn’t with me. It didn’t matter what she was doing...I just wanted it to be with..with me. 

“I had this asinine vision that society would be in a different place by now. That two close friends could...be closer. And that I wouldn’t have to feel like I was left alone for the rest of my life. I see so many friendships for what they could be. The feelings that I’ve had over someone that will never be attainable I see in others. All of the time. Especially while I promenade! And it makes me sad for those yearning and it reminds me of what I can never have.”

There was a moment of silence before Y/n’s eyes widened in the realization of what she had just let out. “Oh my. I-You didn’t hear any of what I just said. Promise me!”

Damien laid a soft hand on Y/n’s arm. “I promise. I had no idea that you had harbored such...persuasions. Not that it’s anything you need to feel sorry about. You can’t help it. Your reactions, for sure, but...not for what you feel.”

“You, Lord Haas, will make someone a fine husband someday. Maybe even sometime soon? It is our season, finally, after all.” Y/n tried to hide her watery eyes behind a coy smirk. “Someone is bound to catch your eye.”

Damien breathed out before responding. “Someone already has, if I’m being honest. But maybe I’m far-reaching more than I originally thought.”

His words seemed to spark a sense of excitement through Y/n. She sat up straight and gripped the edges of the table.

“Who is she? Will you point her out to me while we promenade? No. I have an even better idea; can you introduce her to me at one of the balls?” Y/n was nearly on the edge of her seat. “Damien! This is exciting!”

“It’s not quite that intriguing, I promise you. Especially since nothing can come of it.” The man picked at the fruit on the platter. “But I digress. It seems that you’ve got your own sorting out to do. What are you going to do about callers if Courtney plans on joining in on the festivities this season? She may not come from one of the families but she has enough friends.”

“Then I hope she enjoys herself. For all I know, everything I felt could have been my very own thoughts and not hers. If she’s here to find a match, then let her. If she’s here to have fun, then by all means...I hope she has it. I just hope I can keep my heart to myself this time. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

“Y/n,” The man licked his lips before continuing. “Might I suggest trying to find out what exactly it is that your heart wants before you do anything else with it?”

The young woman topped her fig slice with some brie. “I’m going to pretend that you did not just offer such advice. Who would even think about courting a woman trying to figure out whether or not she wants her story to end with another woman? You slay me, Lord Haas.”

“I’m being entirely serious. Y/n, you could…” Damien seemed to pause before paying very close attention to fiddling with a berry. “We could stop your callers from coming around and maybe I could use a distraction. We could work together.”

“What? Like...you and I? Together together?”

The german-born duke hesitated before taking one of Y/n’s hands into both of his. “We could go to promenade as a match. And then to the balls, And the parties. No one would be the wiser. You could use this time to figure out what it is you truly want. And then who.”

The young woman looked down at their hands, hers fitting inside his the way she suspects other women her age dream of, yet, she wasn’t sure what it did to her. What he offered could very much help her, but what if Courtney got the wrong idea? What if everyone got the wrong idea?

“But what if it went right?”

“Hmm?” Damien asked in confusion.

“Nevermind.” Y/n shook the thoughts from her head. “Damien, I think...you may be on to something. You’re right. I...I don’t know how to be a...a wife to anyone. Let alone a man. And I won’t know until I figure myself out a little bit more. And then if this girl is running through your mind and you firmly believe that you can never court her…”

“Trust in me with this. I always thought she was someone I could never hope to marry, far too good for me in so many ways. But...maybe this will help me to see who else is out there. Maybe I’ll find my perfect match. And if we come out as a couple, it’ll provide good reason for the other men to leave you alone.”

“Too bad they just don’t leave me alone as is.”

“I believe Olivia said the same thing after she met Sam.”

“Heavens, that was a riot.” Y/n lifted her pinky to solidify the agreement with her friend. “Lord Damien Haas, I believe we might have ourselves a deal.”

[joliepixie]

I’ve been reading almost everyday since April 16th thanks to the stay at home order. Not that I’m complaining but I feeling like it’s time to return to work if only for my activity level! its become a struggle to remove myself enough to go for a walk or run. Anyways onto the books.

Left to right:

1) I ordered this book when I was in the middle of the Throne of Glass series as a nice book to break up the series (can’t read series books back to back I get bored that way) but also to fulfill the Sarah J. Maas craving I was having without having to invest in a series. I don’t know was expecting with this book but for me it made me realize I’m not that into superhero books... don’t get me wrong it was a good book and I think I gave it 3 stars?? It just didn’t resonate with me. I didn’t much enjoy the characters and I had a hard time believing catwoman was this super badass didn’t lose one fight to anyone type of character that had assassin training. I preferred the early chapters when she was just a kid trying to make a living by fighting I think following that would have been a bit more interesting. Ok Just checked rated it 4 stars... This is why I do these “reviews” cause sometimes I don’t know how I feel about a book till I sit down and start blabbing about it. So yes a 3 star book for me.

2) Ok I have a serious addiction apparently. After reading the Throne of Glass books I wasn’t done with Sarah J. Maas’ writing style yet so with me having a week of uninterrupted home time left and having a serious book hangover I decided to re-read the ACOTAR series again.. probably just the first two because I like the build up to Rhys and Feyra’s relationship. Needless to say other then having to spend the majority of this book with Tamlin I love this book or more specifically the under the mountain trails. Going into the book for the first time last year I wasn’t expecting the trails and being a huge fan of competitions, trails, etc. I was enthralled. Love this book and love the second book even more. Oh and I promise I will be branching out from Sarah J. Maas soon considering I’ve had all her books read and just waiting for breath and sky now.

3) Another re-read/slowly trying to read every book on my bookshelf after a reading slump of 3 years. As I’ve been saying to my friends. I’m weeding out the weak deciding what to keep and what to give away. Anyways, absolutely love this book. Say what you will about Nicholas Sparks but he knows how to tug at the heart strings. When I first read this book I was in highschool and getting through those last 100 pages is tough is a terribly sad type of way. I remember I had to give my dad a hug when he got home after sobbing on the couch for hours. This book broke and I went in knowing this and I spent my entire night crying, let my dad know I loved him, and woke up with sore and puffy eyes so bad that I couldn’t read at all the next day. Regardless of how much I love this book I’m keeping it for the sake of the memories I have with it and as a reminder to let my parents know I love them unconditionally and never stay mad.

4) If you remember I picked this book up on one of my thrifting trips with my friend. Funny story I accidentally bought two copies thinking they were different stories. I have a obsession with Paris (even though I haven’t gone.. just waiting for covid to end so I can get out there) which was the main reason for this purchase and I’m glad I got it. I read this immediately after Kingdom of Ash because I needed something quick and what better then a book of short stories some involving Paris? I loved the majority of the stories in this book and will definitely be re reading a few someday. I tried reading this author other book me Before You when I was really young but being so young I don’t think I appreciated it as much as I should have. After picking up this book and being reacquainted with this authors writing style I think I’ll be trying some of her other books and probably dusting off my old copy of Me Before You.

5) I’ve been having an tough time with thrillers recently where I’ve read a lot that just didn’t sit well with me. This one reminded me why I like thrillers so much. I found this one fast paced and didn’t have to sit through chapter after chapter of the characters drinking while she took her medication. Sometimes I find with thrillers we are always given these characters that are so dependent on there vices which are used against them to make them seem crazy rather then something actually happening which drags on and sometimes used as a crutch in writing do you get what I’m saying? Even though this book did have a bit of this happening it wasn’t used nearly as much as other books and like I said very fast pace. It was neat how there wasn’t a grand reveal but the main character just worked it out on her own. I was happy with the ending as well and thought it ended the book well. All and all I liked this book a lot.

6) Was hoping I could write about book 6, 7, and 8 altogether like last time but I have very different feelings about each book so here we go. I love this book probably just as much as Heir of Fire and Queen of Shadows. I really loved getting to see all the characters interact like Manon joining up with the crew. The skull bay fight with Lysandra was definitely one of my all time favourite scenes and having Dorian slowly master his powers was fun to read as well. My favourite part of this book was definitely Lorcan and Elide parts. Elide was a character that I could give or take when I first met her but she’s slowly become my favourite character and I loved everyone of her chapters as well as the slow building romance with Lorcan. And if you know me you know I have a great hatred for Chaol so this book got a added bonus for not having a single chapter from his perspective!

7) This was a struggle. I looked up if I could just skip this book but unfortunately it had major plot points you couldn’t miss. I was dreading this book. I read a lot of reviews about how people hated Chaol but still really found this book likeable so I went in hoping that would be my experience too. It wasn’t. I actually ended up buying the audiobook because I really couldn’t picture myself sitting and reading this book... it’s not that I hated it I just don’t like chaol and besides Yrene and Borte didn’t really care for any of the characters in this book. I’m glad I listened to it because I definitely needed this story to continue and I really did try not to hate Chaol so much but I just can’t stand him.

8) Ok. The final Throne of Glass book. I gave it 4 stars. The middle three books are my favourite and I will re read over and over this one I don’t see myself going back to it. I have it four starts because I’ve followed these characters through a eight book series and a month of my time. I’ve fallen in love with these characters and there stories, I will always love these character, and of course Elide and Lorcan! Now here’s why I didn’t like this book as much nor think I’ll read it again (other then Lorcan and Elide story.) throughout this book I felt like Rowan became a background character like I’m all for a strong female lead and her doing shit her own way but Rowan was suppose to be her equal and I just felt like he did nothing. Like the final fight he spent the majority of it chasing Aelin? I get it she didn’t have her full powers but she was handling her own couldn’t you do the same? It just didn’t sit right with me that this character that was introduced to us in Heir of Fire that trained Aelin and is her equal was just kind of brushed aside and became this clingy male that spent the majority of the book following Aelin around not doing anything other the pleading her not to leave him. Like what happened to the badass Rowan that I grew to love...? Also was really angered me Aelin losing her powers? What’s up with that?! It just felt so cheap to me.. after again reading about how strong she is and then forging the lock which did nothing by the way what was the point of that anyways, and then she just loses all her power only having a ember left??? I hate when authors do this.. I also felt the scene with Erawan, Maeve, and Aelin was just dull. I was still upset that Aelin wouldn’t get to use her powers against them and in the end it was more of a match of words then a battle just felt a little cheap to me. I was just disappointing , Aelin a character we have come to love and watch grow and get stronger hardly hold her own against Maeve... This book has a all around different feel to it compared to the other books and maybe it’s because it was the final battle and and the final book to the series I was a bit disappointed with it but I did enjoy it and felt a huge accomplishment when I finished the series. Reading that finally few chapters really put me into a hangover knowing it was over and like Aelin felt when everyone was heading home I felt that too. It’s goodbye for now.

[robotic-traveling-circus]

Story Fragment - Promise

It was inevitable. There was no reason for the body to continue thus it shut itself down. The emotions that used to vibrate and dance within Bellamy’s being slipped out of existence.

And it broke their hearts.

Fredrick sat before them, his paws hovering over the open cavity of Bellamy’s chest. “Bunny Bell.” He whispered, voice dipping low in a sorrowful tone. This was wrong. It was horrifically wrong.

When the day came that they were distorted and locked in, Bellamy was their optimistic companion. Even when the magnets were torn from their face, they were still able to express themselves happily. He remembers the way Bellamy spoke of new beginnings, that the humans needed a break from the circus but they wouldn’t be forgotten.

That was four years ago. Four years of being unable to help their partner as he drifted away.

It began the day Bellamy did not react to Redd’s pestering like he used to.

“You’re hair is so dumb. It’s like you got a tail on your head. You’re a butt head!” Bellamy declared on several occasions.

“At least me ‘ead isn’t bald!” Redd would snap back with a snarl.

“Better bold than being a butt head.” The teasing would continue and insults would turn from childish to creative.

But the last insult Redd ever threw to Bellamy was, “‘Ey seat face! Why are you walkin’ so prem and prahper? Are you a stoeck oep poodle?”

It took a moment for the words to register, probably analyzing Redd’s accent. “Is the way I walk troublesome? If so, how would you suggest I modify my walk?” The words lacked Bellamy’s childish nature. There was no comeback or further insults.

“..why are you talkin like dat? Ded you 'it yooehr 'ead ahr sahmethin?” Redd took a step closer to examine his partner. They did not appear visually different since they had gotten locked in.

There was another processing period before Bellamy said, “If you have no suggestions for my improvement, I will ask my superiors for readjustment.”

It was the default language. The sentences and phrases they were given through programming rather than personality.

“Bellamy, are you feelin ahkay? I can stahp if you're naht feelin well.” The playful act was dropped. Instead, the rabbit’s actions created concern that fell on massively deaf ears.

“My apologies. I will go and rest.” It was simple and dull. Nothing any of the three were used to.

Yet, after a short period of rest, Bellamy was his usual self. He acted as though he had no memory of the interaction; perhaps that was true.

Another moment that was considered odd was during a game of Clown Mash. They would get a piece of paper and draw a body part before passing it along to the next person. Anyone who played with Bellamy received pretty horrific looking characters. They were not gorey but they definitely fell into the realm of body horror.

However, today’s character looked obscenely normal. There wasn't a clutter of additional limbs or eyes far too large for one’s head. There weren't obnoxious neon colors or glitter. They were normal and legitimate.

Even Sprinkles took offense to the dull creation. “What’s this? Is yawl messin’ with me?” She crossed her wings and gave Bellamy the look.

Yet, they hardly reacted under her gaze. “I am playing according to the rules. Have I misunderstood?”

“The rules?” She squawked, “ Yawl nevur play by the rules! Whut the heck is yawl on ‘bout?” Her feathers stood tall, and the gaze only worsened.

Yet again, Bellamy was unbothered. “Are the rules of the game to break the rules? I am afraid I do not understand your predicament, miss.”

Miss. When they called her miss, the trio suddenly had to deal with a puffed up chicken clucking words that were obviously against programming. At least, they were originally.

The next time there was a notable issue was when Bellamy sat Fredrick down to talk. The other two had been in rest mode, allowing them a momentary privacy.

“Fredrick! Did you miss me? I know you miss our little chats.” Bellamy grins as much as they could without a face. “But I’ll be frank, my head has been screaming. I feel like I’m vanishing. It’s terrible!”

Despite the serious nature of the conversation, it eased Fredrick to interact with a Bellamy that sounded like himself. “Would this happen to have anything to do with how you have been acting?”

Any cheerful energy from the bunny was dropped. “Freddy. I don’t think Imma last.” He raised his single hand to hold one of his partner’s paws. “I haven’t felt this way in like, forever. Everything feels frazzled, and I know you’re afraid. You are all afraid.”

It caused the bear to frown, “We have noticed several changes in your behavior, but you always bounce back. It is concerning; do you remember what happened?”

His ears drooped, further than they already were. “Yeah. I rather forget! But boo hoo me, I can’t make the memories go away and now I feel like scrap.” They shook their head, refocusing themself. “Right. Get to the point, Bellamy!”

Fredrick watched his partner fumble with themself, and gently squeezed his paw. He hoped to provide reassurance. “It is okay, Bell. You can take your time when talking to me.”

He received silence for a while, having watched Bellamy pull themselves together. “It’s like whatever makes me, me, is vanishing. I’m getting tired and my head is screaming. I have to fight with myself! Can’t always say the words I want to. Can’t do the fun stuff that I want to do. It is like...like being torn apart.” They paused momentarily, head casted away from Fredrick. “But I know you are afraid. You won’t want me to go. You believed in my hope, my lies! And now I got yall livin’ a fantasy!”

Emotionally, the bunny broke down, allowing himself to be pulled into a hug and wither against his partner. “I-I’m sorry Freddy. It was unacceptable for me to drag you into my false hopes. I just wanted to be funny - to be cheerful - to be someone y’all could look to when ya needed a lift.” Their body shuddered, “but Imma fool. I steal faces and now I cannot even steal my own! All my functions are becoming pointless.”

There was a long pause, and the bear was about to speak when he heard Bellamy mumble, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry… I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” His voice repeated like a broken record.

“There is nothing to apologize for, Bell.” Fredrick says softly, pressing his nuzzle to the top of his bunny’s head. “You have been through a lot, possibly more than the rest of us. You deserve moments of vulnerability.

“Additionally, your hope is not false. If you believe in it, then I do too. I think, if my parents were here, they would promote and encourage your hope. It is a wonderful quality to have.” He carefully adjusts their position before having Bellamy lift his head. “You are not pointless, Bellamy. We love you. I love you. Your worth is not limited to your ability to perform tasks, we love you for who you are and who you have grown to be. And, in the event that you lose yourself, I assure you that we will still love you.”

“H-how can you love someone without any emotion?”

“Do you believe that is what it is coming to?” Bellamy nods in response to Fredrick’s question. “Then I believe it is an error. We may have emotions, but we have programming that can get damaged or corrupt. I will look into it. We will find a solution.”

“Even if I’m lost by them?”

“Especially if you are lost by then. We save our memories, I am positive there will always be a way to get you back. And, if we cannot, I am happy to start anew with you. We can create new memories.” He says, wanting to chase away any thoughts of despair.

“You..would go through the effort..of trying again?”

“Of course I would. I already told you. I, we, love you.” He rubs a thumb along what remains of Bell’s face. “We will do everything we possibly can. I promise.”

Bellamy offers a look of disbelief, and it was astonishing how expressive a faceless animatronics could be. But, Fredrick had to chase away the dark. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but -“

“No buts. Do you trust me, Bellamy?”

The bunny nods slightly, “Yeahh, I trust you. But a promise? How can ya promise something like that?”

“Because I have a good feeling. It may or may not take awhile, but I have a feeling this is fixable. Now, I will ask again. Do you, my silly Bunny Bell, trust me to figure this out?”

The other huffs a laugh in response, “Yeah. I trust ya, my cuddle teddy.”

“Perfect. And please, if you need to talk to us, any of us, do not be afraid. We are here for you.”

Another nod and Bellamy fixes themself to be in a comfortable cuddling position, using the bear’s chest as a pillow. “Can we rest now?”

“Of course. Hope you feel recharged in no time.” He cuddles Bell closer to him, wanting to protect him however he could. He wasn't a confrontational fellow, nor an outgoing one, but darn was he going to find a solution someday.

Someday.

That someday brought him to the present. His paws had just left his partner’s chest cavity. He was attempting to repair his silly bunny but it was not enough to restore them. Thus, Bellamy’s body shut down.

Without emotion there was no drive. And, without a drive, there was no purpose. The magnets that allowed Bellamy to wear his face or swap with others were torn out. There was no face to attempt to put back on because..the humans took it away. They did this on purpose, didn’t they? They broke Bellamy with no intention of fixing him.

They broke them. It made the situation worse because Bellamy believed the humans would come back for them.

Soon Fredrick broke down, a dreadful sorrow overtaking his voice. “Bunny Bell, B-bunny Bell, please. You cannot - we need you here. With us. Please turn back on.” Although he could not express tears the way a human does, he was certainly grieving the loss of his partner.

The bear’s paws finally moved from the open cavity to pull the functionless animatronic close to him. “I-I am sorry, Bunny-Bell. I - I will find a way to turn you back on, I promise. I swear, I promise.” He did not know what to do, but he’ll do anything.

Redd knelt down beside them, wrapping his arms around Fredrick. They were partners, the three of them. And it took the fox every ounce of his energy to not break down along with Fredrick.

It hurt. They weren’t supposed to feel pain but it hurt so bad. He had to helplessly watch one of his partners attempt to safe the other to no avail and it fucking hurt. “Fred, I - what do we do?” His ears were low, practically pressed into his body. “Can we really toehrn 'im back ahn?”

He felt torn. He didn’t want Fredrick to gain false hopes, but he didn’t want to dismiss this either.

“We - we have to get out of here… There has to..there has to be a way to repair him. Redd, he could have stayed with us for so much longer.” Fredrick clutches the bunny’s body harder. “I did..I did not try hard enough -they should have been functional, like us, and I - I promised.” He kept stuttering, his body struggling to adjust to their current happenings.

“Dahn't say shoeht stupid shet, mate. We all know you tried. You spahke to oehs abooeht it whenever you 'ad a new idea. You were doin yooehr best.” Redd offers, gently nudging against Fredrick and wrapping his tail around him. “I know you prahmised 'im boeht can we really fex 'im?”

“I want to think so. It’s..an issue with his face being gone, right? If - if we can get him a new face then maybe.” He pauses, “maybe we can at least get him functioning again.”

“So what? We can't ahpen de door. Dey are lahcked frahm de ooehtside. Sprinkles is naht 'elp, 'er beak is brahken. We can't fet throoehgh de wendows. What’s de plan?" Redd decides it was worth it to encourage Fredrick’s hope. If he promised Bellamy there was a solution to this, then Redd inherently made the same promise.

“I may have an idea.” Fredrick tries to compose himself, but would not let go of Bellamy. “You remember those outside voices?”

“The teenagers?” Sprinkles was quick to inquire.

“Yeah. They come by sometimes. I think they draw on the train? Regardless, maybe we can trick them into opening the door?” He offers the idea, lifting his head.

Redd could sense he was searching for some sort of confirmation. “Sooehnds trecky. Boeht I believe we can do it.”

Sprinkles seemed more reluctant on their success, but she caves. “Yeah, way can do it. Fahwar Bellamy.”

The combination of their support earns them a weak smile from their leader. “Do you hear that, Bunny Bell? We will get you out of here and fix you. We will not be afraid of the outside. I promised I would find a solution, and we will.”

“We love you, Bellamy.” Said both the bear and the fox at the same time.

[he-is-mine-i-am-his-blog]

Wild geese 7/18

Fandom: Painter of the Night

Pairing: Baek Nakyum/Yoon Seungho

Ratings: M

Word count: ~1900 words

Story summary: When Nakyum enters an arranged marriage with Lord Seungho, he does expect to find himself in a situation where he does, fighting for his life. ***An arranged marriage AU, set in the Joseon period like the canon.

Warnings: This story contains graphic depictions of violence. These scenes are not terribly gory, excessive, pointless, and violence is not glorified in anyway. I will not give warnings with specific chapters as not to spoil the plot.

Read below or on AO3.

***

When Seungho’s personal servant is set to go out to run some errands at the town a few days later, Nakyum asks to join him.

He hasn’t ventured much outside the walls at the Yoon residence. Now, he is filled with such nervous, restless energy – from the events of the past days, from the vague threat looming over him – that he feels as if he is suffocating from it.

In the past days, Deokjae has unexpectedly made himself more present to assist him, but he doesn’t hide his disdain for Nakyum, for the very thought of him having to serve a commoner – even when he no longer is one. It makes Nakyum’s life at the residence only more distressing.

Nakyum does not wish to stay, hiding inside his room all day. It clearly isn’t a safe haven even if his suspicions are not correct. He wants to go just to get out of this place for a moment.

When he asks Mr Kim, the older man hesitates at first, but then, he nods.

The first step outside the gated entrance comes with a subtle wave of relief washing over him. Though, his tangled thoughts do not fully leave him until they get to the busy main street of the town.

They stop several times along the way to see what the different merchants have to offer. It is often Nakyum who stops. The older man is too kind to indulge him with these small freedoms during their outing, especially when it only causes further delay for him.

When Nakyum once again stalls outside the small shop selling a variety of books and illustrations, Mr Kim suggests that he stay there while he quickly goes to another shop just a bit down the street. Nakyum looks at him for a moment, uncertain, until he inclines his head in a wordless agreement.

As the older man walks off, Nakyum returns to look at the books that are settled in a shelf just outside the shop, under the shelter of the wide awning.

He is examining a book of illustrated fairy tales when he hears someone approach him.

“What a chance encounter, meeting you here.”

Nakyum lowers the book, and he looks behind him to find two men standing at a polite distance. He recognizes them as being Seungho’s friends. He had briefly talked to them at the wedding celebrations. One of them has a lively face, Min was his name, as Nakyum recalls. The other more familiar yet was Jihwa. He is the man who Nakyum had seen arguing with Seungho at the Yoon residence days ago.

When Nakyum doesn’t say anything, the man speaks again, “Ah, I’m not sure if you remember. I’m Min, and this is my friend Jihwa. We met briefly at the wedding.”

Nakyum puts the book away before turning to bow at them.

“I hope you have been well since we last saw you,” Jihwa says with a kind smile on his face.

“As well as I can be.”

It is not a lie, even if it is not the truth either. He does not wish to express his current miseries to men he barely knows.

Min nods along, ”Married life is clearly treating you well.”

His eyes flick down Nakyum’s frame. He pastes a cordial smile on his lips, as he lifts his eyes to meet Nakyum’s again.

Nakyum inclines his head, not knowing what to say, feeling slightly awkward under the attention.

“It’s a shame we haven’t really got the chance to make further acquaintances yet,” Jihwa says politely after a moment of silence, smoothing over the awkwardness, “We should take our horses and meet for a ride in the forest someday.”

Nakyum tenses at the words. The loss is still too fresh in his mind, time has yet to fully heal the wounds.

Min turns to his friend, nudging him at his shoulder.

“Have you not heard”, Min admonishes him, with a twitch of lips, before he continues, “Ah, yes, you were not at the hunt. See, Nakyum got into the most horrible accident with his horse during. Had to end the poor creatures suffering then and there.”

Nakyum swallows. He blinks away the tears that are threatening to well up in his eyes from just hearing Min’s recount of the events. The words are not unkind though, neither is the look that Jihwa gives him when he turns back to him.

“My deepest apologies, for I did not know.”

Nakyum lowers his eyes, as he cannot look. He doesn’t wish to see the concern, the pity in his eyes. He is quiet when he replies, “It’s okay.”

“I’m glad to see that you are well enough though,” Jihwa says, “Perhaps we ca-“

His words are cut short though, when someone calls for Nakyum.

Nakyum lifts his eyes to look back. It is Seungho’s servant, who walks up to them in hurried strides.

The older man looks at the two young lords for a moment, before he turns his attention to Nakyum once again, “We should return to the house – if you are ready, Lord Yoon.”

It is the first time that Nakyum has been called as such. It is his title, but only through his relationship with Seungho. It is not his name though, not officially, but Mr Kim had called him by it anyway. Likely to associate him with his husband in a more perspicuous manner.

Nakyum nods silently.

He must’ve already taken far too much of the servant’s time, so he does not wish to delay him further. He turns back to Min and Jihwa to say his goodbyes to them.

After cordial bows, Min smiles and says to him, “We shall hope to see you soon again.”

“As do I,” Nakyum replies in kind.

They part ways, and both parties go in different directions. Nakyum follows after the servant, as they make their way back towards the residence.

It isn’t until they near the entrance that the older man turns towards Nakyum. They have remained silent much of the way, but he speaks now.

His eyes are serious and sure on Nakyum’s, as he says, “You’d do well to keep your distance from the young lords.”

  ***

  Nakyum is walking alone in the garden of the Yoon residence. It’s colder than it has been since the seasons changed, and the ground is blanketed by fresh snow from the previous day. He has bundled himself in his thickest winter jacket, and he has put on his bonnet and mittens too to ward off the chill.

He felt too restless staying in his room, having been indoors the entire morning and the day before too.

He does not wish to go to the town unaccompanied, nor could he ask for Seungho’s personal servant to escort him whenever he wants to go. He would not ask his own servant either.

He has not seen Deokjae all morning, and he barely saw him the previous evening, but he doesn’t mind. After receiving far too much of his attention and time in the preceding days, it’s a welcome change. He does not wish to be in the man’s company any more than he must, as it only ever comes with the obvious scorn.

And so, Nakyum finds himself alone outside on this grey, dull day.

He looks around the empty garden. It looks so different from how it did on the day he saw it for the first time. He was so different then too. It’s hard to believe that it hasn’t even been two months since that day.

Slowly, he steps onto the platform that is still there, only now covered by a layer of untouched snow. He walks up to where he stood then, and he stops to stand right there again.

Nakyum has not talked with his husband since their argument and the following exchange at the courtyard, nor has he seen more than a few glimpses of the man. He wonders if Seungho is purposefully keeping away, if he is carefully avoiding him because Nakyum asked him to do so.

The thought – bothers him – more than he expected. He isn’t sure if he truly meant his hasty words, or he isn’t sure that he means them anymore at least.

A lifetime would be a long time to spend trying to avoid someone who lives in the same house, who interacts with the same people.

Nakyum isn’t sure at all if he wants that, but he doesn’t know how to have anything else with Seungho either, nor what that else would even be.

He looks up at the sky that is nothing more than a canvas of solid grey. The sun is hiding behind the thick veil of clouds. He already misses its warmth, its brightness, although the winter has barely begun.

He carefully steps down from the platform, and he begins trailing the pathways of the garden again.

There have been no more attempts to harm him since the day of the hunt. There have been no hints of such attempts either.

It would be easy to dismiss his concerns as being only figments of his imagination running wild, the oddities as being nothing more than coincidences. He can’t rid himself of this eerie feeling inside, as if it’s foreboding of something bad yet to come.

The lingering dread is only made more pronounced by this sense that someone is watching him, observing him – secretly. He felt the eyes on him during his exchange with Seungho after their argument. He has felt them half a dozen times since.

Nakyum wakes up from his thoughts with a startle, when he notices that he has trailed down to a pathway that he has not taken before. It’s a narrow passage running alongside the walled edge of the residence. It is most likely only used by the servants, as it passes the two smaller structures that are used for storage.

When he walks further down the path, he soon arrives at a small clearing in front of a side entrance. Since even the servants use the main entrance at the front, this must be used rarely. The distinct lack of footprints in the snow corroborates the notion.

He shakes his head at himself for having wandered there thoughtlessly. He is about to turn back, when he notices something towards the edge of the clearing. There is a piece of woolen clothing lying in a crumpled pile on the ground. It is then that he notices something far more chilling.

Nakyum takes a step forward, his heart thumping hard in his chest. He takes another step and another, forcing himself to move. He walks slowly, carefully to what he found. He stops only a few steps away.

He looks at his findings then.

Right there next to the woolen garment, there is a red smudge, bright and stark, mixed into the pure white snow that has been trampled upon. Blood, Nakyum thinks to himself. It cannot be anything else.

Nakyum stands there staring at the scene before him.

While the family kept some animals, they would never be killed or butchered here at the residence. It would be considered impure, ill-fated to do so.

He can look nowhere else, as he is shaking, trembling at this discovery, at the very realization of what this must mean.

The woolen garment that sits next to the blood-stained snow – he recognizes it.

It looks just like the scarf that his servant Deokjae often wears, the servant who Nakyum has not seen since the previous day.

[asphalt-cocktail]

Kinkmas Prompt #3: Pegging

A/N: Well, I never thought I would ever write the words John Lennon and pegging in the same sentence, but here I am. Also it’s been a while since I’ve written a pegging fic, like since my Loki fic so I hope you enjoy it! This was requested via AO3.  If you would like to request a prompt and character yourself please reference my Kinkmas masterpost.

Pairing: John Lennon x F!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Pegging, anal play, butt stuff, Soft Dom reader, Sub!John, orgasm denial, edging, handjob, Hamburg era Beatles so it’s Teddy Boy!John, mentions of prostitution and brothels. 

Kinkmas 2019 Masterlist

General Masterlist

Asks

If you are considered a minor do NOT interact with this post. This is fictitious content and I own nothing.

Working in Hamburg’s red-light district wasn’t an ideal situation, but neither was living in an economically dry post-war Hamburg. A girl had to make ends meet so you, like many other women, turned towards an industry that was always booming: prostitution.

You worked at a brothel that was surrounded by several bars, so you’d make easy money in exchange for late nights of work. Your customers would come and go, but you always had one that was consistent. Every Tuesday a young man, close to your age, would come in with his hair greased back, his nose sharp, and his eyes squinting in a desperate attempt to focus. It took three appointments, but you soon learned his name, John, he was performing at a few bars around your place of work with a small group of boys from Liverpool and hoped to make it big someday.

You looked at the clock on the wall, it was nearly one am which meant John would be coming by sometime soon. He was a special client and had… special… interests. You didn’t mind, there was something so gratifying about getting someone else off that made your need to get off fulfilled by hearing John’s hoarse and whiney moans fill the dingey room until the early hours of the morning.

He walked in, paid the man that sat at the front desk and waited in his seat for you to be brought down. You greeted him with a familiar kiss to the cheek and grabbed his hand, his palms were sweaty like always and he chattered about his most recent endeavor with the bands he played with. Today he donned a new leather jacket, you ran your fingers cross the cool material “Is this new?” You asked as soon as you entered your designated bedroom, a small coy smile playing on your lips.

John grinned confidently, “Yeah, we just got new jackets today, do you like it?” He asked, pulling his shoulders back and straightening his posture.

You nodded your head “It ties the look together,” You said keeping your hand flatly pressed against chest. Your hand reached up and slowly unzipped it. The sound of the zipper filled the silent and tension filled room, “I’d hate for it to get messy tonight.” You teased. John swallowed thickly and looked down at you as your arms slid the jacket down his shoulders, exposing his black tee shirt, “You, gonna be a good boy for me Johnny?” You asked tossing the jacket off onto a chair in the side of the room.

John vigorously nodded his head, his greased back hair falling lightly in his face, “Yes, Ma’am.” He answered obediently.

You smiled and cupped his cheek, patting it lightly, “That’s what I like to hear, now go on and get ready for me.” You said pulling away so you could get the supplies you would need for the night.

As you dug through your supply trunk you could hear John frantically shuffling around and undressing. You knew as soon as you would turn around, he would be laying down on the bed only clad in his briefs, he was always such a good boy for you. Once you found what you would need, you placed it on the table near the bed before you knelt at John’s side. You ran your hand down his chest, your thumbs lightly ghosting over his nipples, causing him to shudder beneath your touch. He was always so responsive, and you loved it.

You glanced up at John, who was intently watching you as your hand traveled further and further down towards his briefs which were beginning to tent up, “Do you want me to touch you, Johnny?” You asked, running your fingertips along the worn elastic. He nodded his head, not speaking, “Use your words, dear.” Your voice was firm and commanding.

John swallowed thickly “Yes, please ma’am.” He answered.

You smiled, pulling them down and exposing his member, you grasped it and firmly pumped your hand up his length. John gasped and bucked his hips into your hands, you stilled your motions and gave him a chastising glance “Come on, John, naughty boys don’t get to come.”

He let out a soft whine and clenched the thread barren sheets, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He muttered as you continued your motions. You could feel him growing painfully hard in your hand and the tip of his cock began to leak precum and become red with arousal. John hissed through clenched teeth and the muscles in his thighs flexed, “Can I come, please?” He asked through a hoarse voice.

He was always so needy, you tutted “Not yet, we haven’t even gotten to the fun stuff.” You reminded him. John continued to let out whiney sighs and moans as you slowly squeezed and stroked his full length. Your free hand began to lightly rub his thigh, inching closer and closer to his tight little ass. He whimpered feeling your fingers ghosting over him before you pulled away and adjusted his legs, spreading them and putting his knees up.

“Open up.” You commanded and slipped your fingers between John’s needy lips where he sucked on them, making lewd noises and rubbing his tongue along your finger pads. You pulled your fingers from his mouth with a soft ‘pop’ and he let out a sigh of disappointment.

After you reached for a bottle of lube, spreading the liquid on your fingers and rubbing them between his cheeks. John let out a loud wanton moan when he felt your fingers brush against his hole, you paused your motions, “What do you want?” You asked, urging him to beg for you.

He did, he always begged for you, “Fingers, please.” His voice sounded desperate and small.

Your mouth hung ajar as you inserted one finger into John’s ass, he gasped and arched his back at the feeling of fullness and preened against your touch, you soon added another one to help prep him for tonight’s activities. You pumped your fingers in and out, curling them and rubbing against his walls while John desperately tried to stay still like you had previously instructed him to. Your free hand continued to pump his painfully hard cock with long languid motions, he was a mess beneath you.

His greased hair had become sweaty and fallen out of its perfectly combed style and his cheeks were dusted pink. You loved seeing John like this. Every time you would see him outside the brothel, he had a swarm of ladies around him or was picking a fight and exuded masculine energy. But here he was your good boy and followed all your instructions, rarely ever a brat or talking back. He was aching for a strong woman to control him and you gave it to him.

You pulled your fingers out of him and spread his cheeks, John let out a needy whine, “You ready for me, hun?” You cooed, leaning over him and lightly cupping his face.

John leaned into your touch, his eyes shut blissfully “Yes, please.” He begged.

You pulled away from him to ready yourself, “Be a good boy and sit still for me.” You said giving him a warning look. You reached over and grabbed your double strap on, letting out a soft moan as you inserted your portion inside of you and then rubbed lube on the exposed portion. You tightened the straps around your hips and thighs and squired more lube on your hand, just to make sure John would be comfortable.

You hovered over him and smoothed his sweaty hair away from his forehead and brushed it back, “You’re my good boy, yeah?” You asked rubbing the plastic cock between his cheeks. John found himself lost in the anticipation, his eye closed and his breathing rough, “Come on, Johnny, I need you to talk to me.” You said lightly tapping the side of his face.

John opened his eyes to look at you, his pupils were blown with pleasure and they looked as though it took all his will power to focus on your face, “Yeah,” He said breathlessly, “Your good boy.” He swallowed thickly, glancing down to where your legs were pressed against the backs of his thighs.

You followed his line of sight and lightly pressed the plastic cock against his well prepped hole. John’s mouth opened and he inhaled sharply feeling you stretch him before you teasingly pulled back, “Please,” John whined, his nose scrunching in frustration

“Please what?” You teased.

“Fuck me, please.” John said softly, his brows furrowed.

You slowly inserted the plastic cock into him, you moaned feeling the pressure against the insert inside you as it pushed deeper inside your wet cunt and gave John a moment to adjust, softly kissing his cheeks “You’re so good,” You cooed “My good boy, John.” You said as you placed light kisses all over his face.

John moaned and spread his legs further apart allowing you to sink in a little bit more. His cock twitched against his stomach as he desperately held back his need to release and tried to steady his breathing. Once it was caught, he let out one last shaky breath “M-move,” He choked out, “Please,”

You sat up and lightly moved your hips causing a moan to slip from both of your mouths before you pulled out and slammed your hips against his setting a steady rhythm. Soft moans spilled from John’s lips and filled the room. You continued to pump his cock in tandem with your thrust, you felt his thighs tense around you, “Don’t,” You warned, “You’re not allowed to come yet.” You said pulling your hand away from him and resting it on his soft tummy.

John whined, his face was red, and his body was sweaty “Please, please.” He begged.

You slapped your hips against his and moaned as the dildo inside you scraped your walls, filling you up and hitting all the right spots “No,” You snapped, “You know what happens when you’re greedy.” You warned, “I’ll leave you tied to that chair with a vibrator in your ass and leave you.”

He knew you would hold true to your word and you would fuck him until his legs turned into jelly, then leave him, his arms and legs strapped to a chair with a vibrator in his tight little hole; bare, sticky, and with tears running down his face. You’d done it before, and as tantalizing as the idea was it, he liked it when you weren’t cross with him.

You began to pick up your pace, rutting into him and loosing yourself, feeling the dildo inside you thrusting in and curling perfectly, rubbing against your g spot. Your mouth hung open and breathy moans fell from your lips “You take me so well, baby.” You cooed, whipping some of the tears that had begun to form in the corner of John’s eyes away from his face, “God,” You groaned and cupped his face “You’re bloody gorgeous like this, you’re such a mess.” You laid yourself atop him and buried your face in his sweaty shoulder, inhaling his natural musky scent.

John’s hands wrapped around you and held you close to his chest as the two of you began to lose yourselves in pleasure. The plastic cock inside John repeatedly rubbed against his prostate and his legs shook from holding off his orgasm, “Please, please,” He gasped and ran his fingers through your hair, “Please, let me come, I want it so bad.” His words slurred together, and his voice cracked from the strain.

Your walls clenched around the dildo inside you and you shuttered against him as you came “Come on, John, come for me baby.” You said leaning back and pumping his cock in tandem with your thrusts.

John grunted and his face scrunched up as he closed his eyes, his mouth opened and he let out a shuttering gasp while you continued to milk his cock, painting his stomach with thick ropes of his seed. His hips bucked against your hand as you continued to jerk him off even after he came, “Stop, stop, stop,” He begged, the pleasure soon becoming painful and too overwhelming for him.

You pulled your hand away and sat for a moment to catch your breath before you pulled out of him, “Stay here, I’ve got to clean up my messy boy.” You said wiping the sweat that had condensed on your forehead off with the back of your hand.

As you crawled off the bed, your legs wobbled for a moment before you took the chance to take the strap on off, your legs becoming slick with your arousal and set it on the floor. You grabbed a rag and briefly walked over to the attached bathroom to dampen it with warm water. When you returned you found John laying in the same position, his eyes hanging heavy from exhaustion.

You tapped his knees and he responded by spreading them for you. You began to run the cloth over his legs, cleaning him up from the copious amounts of lube you had used previously and then moved to his stomach and wiped the cum off. You tossed the rag to the side and flopped on the bed, typically John was quite chatty afterwards, but this time he was fairly quiet. You turned and faced him on your side and ran your fingers lightly along his chest, “Are you feeling okay, John?” You asked in concern.

John cracked one of his eyes open and peered down at you, “Hm?” He hummed, “Oh yeah, ‘m perfect.” He sounded wonderfully content but shut his eyes after he responded.

You pursed your lips and couldn’t help but bring your hand up to brush his stray and messy hair from his face, “You’re thinking though,” You smiled, “That can be a bit dangerous.” You joked and moved closer to John’s side.

His face broke into a grin and he snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him, your sweaty bodies sticking together. He began to trail soft kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, and finally to your ear where he stopped “I want to feel that cunt come around my cock next time.” He whispered huskily into your ear.

A shiver crept up your spine and you swallowed thickly, “I-I would be open to changing things up.” You tried to sound confident, but your voice failed you.

John pulled back and gave you a cheeky grin, as if he hadn’t been whispering filthy things into your ear moments earlier, “Also,” He added, “Tomorrow, I want you to come see us play.”

You typically tried to keep your interactions with our clients limited to the walls of the brothel, for safety purposes. But you could make one exception.

[magioftheseas]

Stirring

For @i-demand-a-hug

Summary: In a post-canon AU where Akechi was temporarily an amnesiac after almost dying, Akira visits him at his work. Things are a little nostalgic for reasons.

Rating: T (?)

Warning: None really except for references to the plot. I guess. Akechi’s a little bitchy but I mean...

Notes: This might seem out of the blue because I’ve never really posted about p5. I haven’t fully played the game. I haven’t fully watched the anime. But I am interested in it because of a friendly friend who I’m writing this for because sOME WEIRDO was harassing them over their valid ship tastes. I may not know much, but I do know shuake is legit, so like, here’s a fic. Also, I’m using Akira Kurusu instead of Ren Amamiya because the former sounds nicer. It’s got that edge.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

It’s a bad idea to keep coming here.

It’s not the first time he’s thought that. It won’t be the last either. It’s also neither the first nor the last time he found himself in front of the same cafe, staring through the window where a certain waiter was washing tables. When that waiter glanced in his direction, he offered an achingly friendly wave.

And there was the slightest twitch at his lips.

Akira tries not to react, tries to keep his own usual grin as the other walks towards him and opens the door.

“Welcome, again,” is said oh so cheerfully. Perfect waiter behavior, and it never gets less amusing on this person. With their chestnut-brown hair tied back and that auburn gaze now striking. “I’m starting to think you’re obsessed.”

“Am I that obvious?” He fakes sheepishness, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’m actually still gathering up the courage to ask you out.”

Another twitch to those features. And maybe, just maybe, Akira’s heart leaps a little.

“Ha-ha.” The waiter shakes his head. “Well, you haven’t tipped into harassment yet, I suppose. Unless you actually plan on loitering.”

“I’m good with actually paying for something,” he said.

“Then hurry up and come inside.” It was almost snapped at him, but the waiter was back to gentle smiles and a friendly demeanor as Akira followed his lead. He picked up a menu, leading Akira to his usual table, offering that same vapid smile as before. “The usual, I presume?”

“Yeah,” Akira replied, almost absently. “The usual. But maybe something sweet to go with it? Or maybe something spicy. What do you think? Pancakes or curry?”

The waiter froze momentarily, face tightening for a moment. Akira noticed this, and they both reached the threshold of how much they were willing to overlook. If not for the setting, things between them would have erupted on the spot.

Instead, the waiter inhaled sharply, fingers going briefly to his nametag. The name printed on there was just another obvious lie.

“Curry,” was said through gritted teeth. “I think curry suits you best.”

Akechi spun on his heel and stomped away before Akira could say anything else. And he’s really not surprised. He’s nervous as hell, but not surprised. It’s not like brimming tension was unfamiliar when it came to one Akechi Goro.

How nostalgic. He really hasn’t changed from back then at all. Still all fake smiles and broiling with fury. That’s my Akechi alright.

Akira does straighten up, hoping that Akechi doesn’t take this moment to flee the scene. But when he squirms to try and see into the kitchen, there’s not much to look at. Just a bland set piece. Clean, but boring.

When Akechi stepped back out, he avoided his stare. He just went straight to making coffee as if on autopilot, although Akira could definitely criticize his technique. Too much of a shaky hand. Too hasty with the pouring. Not nearly enough creative flair. Clumsy in how he still seemed intimidated by syrup. Endearing in how he was now considerably flustered in handing him the cup.

“I don’t know why you even come here,” he remarked with a huff. “It’s clear I’m still an amateur.”

When I first came here, he was pretty earnest. It was unsettling. Adorable, but unsettling.

“I’m pissed you lied to me, by the way,” Akechi said. “Remember? When I first asked how it was? And you said it was great? Spineless coward.”

Akira shrugged, sipping at his coffee. His face pinched a little at the bitterness of it. Akechi’s messed up the flavor before, and his taste buds are still too refined to overlook it. Still, he offers Akechi an easy grin.

“It’s great. Delicious. I love it.”

“I hate you.”

He can’t help but laugh, especially at how Akechi’s cheeks were steaming red. When Akechi sat in the chair across from him, it was with enough force to cause the table to rattle. The coffee spilled a little onto his lap. It definitely burned through his pants. And Akira kept smiling at him stupidly.

“Your service skills are slipping,” he pointed out. “At this rate, you’re going to get fired.”

“This place is going out of business,” Akechi retorted. “As you no doubt noticed, it doesn’t exactly compare to LeBlanc.”

“I mean, few places do.” Akira shrugged again. “But, I mean, that’s still a shame to hear. I’ll miss ordering from you.”

Akechi’s eyes rolled irritably.

“I’m sure. You definitely weren’t coming here for the food.”

“It wasn’t bad. Do give the owner my regards.”

“I’ll be sure.” Akechi waved his hand. “Considering you were one of the very few regulars, it’ll be appreciated. Although you were also just one of many shallow idiots who only stopped by because you saw a pretty face.”

“You are pretty,” Akira hummed, almost admiringly. Akechi scowled at him.

“Well, great news. I have other jobs you can harass me at. I’ll have to get another to replace this one soon. Bills have to be paid, after all.” Akechi sighed. “And the living expenses just keep building. Just last week, my bathtub broke. Quite the fall from grace, wouldn’t you say?”

“Cheers to adulthood,” Akira chirped, lifting his cup. “You should see my student debt. So many zeroes it could make an old man cry.”

Even now, he got a little weepy remembering. And of course, Akechi giggled at the idea of him in pain. Adorably, at that.

He wanted it to last. He desperately wanted that more than he wanted a lot of things. Of course, Akechi’s smile drops as easily as it comes.

“So,” Akira can only say. “How much do you remember now?”

“Enough.” With a rather cold expression, Akechi pinched at his fringe. “It’s gross, remembering. Like wiggling your way into a second skin. It’s also not fun waking up from the nightmares. The worst part is that there are still things missing. I don’t know what they are and I dread finding out, but I can tell they’re there. Like...there’s some old bastard I’m supposed to hate with every fiber of my being, right? Even more than I hate you.”

“Yeah.” Akira nodded. “There was.” 

“Oh yeah, you and your little posse were in the business of mind control, right?” Akechi asks almost saccharinely. “I remember snippets of that. But I feel like it’s still far beyond my current understanding.”

“I mean, it's complicated,” Akira mutters into his coffee helplessly. “It’d take a while to explain, but it’s impossible these days. For what it’s worth.”

“Mmhm.” Akechi’s gaze was lidded. “Whatever those means were, I did terrible things through them, too.”

Akechi didn’t wear gloves anymore. It’s not the first time this has struck Akira as odd. But he does cast a glance at the other’s fingernails, noting how he had a tendency to pick at them. When he takes and squeezes Akechi’s hand, his first thought is marveling at how cold the skin is.

Akechi’s expression is a complicated one. His eyebrows are knitted, his face pinched like he’s anxious. Akira’s thumb running over his knuckles only causes his brow to furrow more and get his face that much closer to distorting. It’s nothing like in dreams or romantic fantasies, to be sure, but that Akechi has yet to stab his hand with a fork is progress.

“You still haven’t told me where else you work so that I can check up on you,” Akira said. “Will you keep your hair tied up?”

“Yes, but because of the wind not because of you.”

“Ooh, outdoor labor.” Akira crooned. “Will I get to see you lift?”

“I direct traffic, dumbass.”

“Oh, that’s actually terrifying. Too much power.”

Akechi snorted before slipping his hand out of Akira’s grip. Akira lets him, although his eyebrow waggles.

“One sec. The food should be ready.”

Akechi does wipe his hands off before going on his way. Perhaps out of spite. Perhaps out of habit. Maybe he actually was self-conscious about it. If he brought it up, he’d just get shut down so he was stuck pondering. There were many things he could only wonder about these days.

Like what he was doing right now, exactly? What was he hoping to accomplish? With Akechi mostly revived and his memories mostly restored, what was supposed to happen between them next?

“Our relationship is purely about equal terms.”

There was no reason to fight anymore. There was also no reason to see each other. And yet, the idea of just letting Akechi go and turning his back like none of it ever really mattered as if their interactions had only ever been out of necessity...and maybe some of them were. Maybe there were utilitarian exchanges between billiards and coffee.

If he really believed that, he wouldn’t have approached Akechi again in the first place. The sentiment of closure only held so much weight when it came to the messy relationships between messy human beings.

“If we had only met a few years earlier.”

Someday, it’ll be a few years later.

“Eat up,” Akechi announced, setting the plate before him. “Also, hurry. You’re the last customer for today and closing hours are coming up.” Akechi checks his watch. Akira notices that it’s pretty cheap. That the face is cracked. “I have another shift after this.”

“Can I come?”

“Only if you can keep up with a bike.”

“I definitely can.”

Akechi gives him a look but the corner of his lips twist the slightest bit upward. With a faded smile, Akechi taps his broken watch. Akira takes his first bite.

The curry was pretty unremarkable as always, but there was still that bit of spice he liked. There was nostalgia to this moment that helped sweeten the deal. It was overall pleasant, even if it, of course, wasn’t going to last. Still.

“It’s quite the run,” Akechi was muttering into his palm, looking away with a light pink dusting his cheeks. “There’s room on the bike. Just this once.”

He had a good feeling about the future.

[mermaidsdrowninginthesea]

Where our Paths met

A naruto love story

A NarutoxOC story because I got inspired to finally, actually write a fanfic of my own and publish it, by a wonderful writer;@bonemarroww. It is going to be here and wattpad, and also Ao3, and in the future, there will be links to Ao3 to read all the chapters that are currently out.

Summary: Akina Seto. A terribly ordinary girl who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. A girl who just wanted have a family to call her own, friends to hang out with. A girl who didn't want to be so ordinary anymore. When she moved to the Village Hidden in the Leaves, she knew that this would be her chance to shine. This would be the place she would meet new people and become someone she was proud of. And maybe she gets help along the way by a hyperactive boy who wants to be recognized for his efforts, and become Hokage someday.

Chapter 1: The first step

The day was clear, with few clouds in the sky. The wind was subtle but not unwanted, moving stray leaves from the trees to the ground, causing them to crunch under Akina's foot as she walked the path laid before her.

    She had been walking for days now, trying to find her way through the geography of the land. Though she had a map, it didn't really help that she didn't understand it at all. But, she knew she was going the right way, the wind was telling her so, in its whispers, telling her to keep going on this path and in a days time she will be in front of the gates of the Hidden Leaf village, her new home. A new beginning, a new start. The thought made Akina smile to herself. She really needed the change of scenery, and even more a change of lifestyle.

  In her old home, there wasn't much, just a small town, a part of the village Hidden in the Mist. The town didn't really have a name, nothing worth mentioning. It wasn't even on any maps, that is how insignificant it was. It's even more irrelevant now since it's been burned and raided and looted a couple months ago. This was the reason why Akina left, and decided to find solace at the Hidden Leaf Village, to make a new life for herself. It definitely helps that she doesn't know who her parents are, and the people of the village were strangely wary of Akina.

   She remembered a vivid memory of the village elders telling her to never interact with anybody, to stay and hide, especially when the new moon comes. She never knew what they meant, and to this day she was still confused on the new moon bit, it always confused her. She did get oddly weak on new moons, but nothing bad would happen. And since nothing bad ever happens, she never really thought of it seriously. But then again, the new moon was out when the village was burned and raided, and Akina couldn't really remember what happened...It's like there was a barrier set on her mind to make her not remember, and it hurt to try.

   Her brows furrowing in frustration, Akina walked on, trying to figure out what happened, but just ending up with a headache. She sighs and relaxing her muscles. The tension of trying to remember becoming too much for her mind. "I probably shouldn't push myself so hard..." Akina muttered to herself, setting her backpack down to grab a drink of water from her canister. With a few swigs down, and a refreshed mindset, she put her backpack back on and started to walk faster down the path, a renewed vigor, wanting to get to the village earlier than in a day.

    Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi stood in front of the Fourth Hokage. Naruto yawned, Sasuke looking bored, and Sakura glancing from the room to Sasuke to seem inconspicuous, but failing. Kakashi shook his head, then gave his attention to Lord Fourth. "Seeing as you called us here, I'm sure you have a mission for my team and I?" Kakashi asked. Lord Fourth cleared his throat and nodded.   He fumbled for a few seconds to find the right file. When he did find it, he gestured for Kakashi to take it, which he did.

  "This is a simple C rank mission, you four are to meet up and escort a girl around a year or two older than Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. She is coming from a very small town in the village Hidden in the Mist. Unfortunately, the town was burned down and raided recently, and the only survivor was her." the Fourth explained. Kakashi nodded as he read along the explanation.

   "Understood, we will get ready immediately. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, you guys get your things ready and meet me in front of the Konoha gates within two hours." Kakashi commanded the three genin.

   "Why are we leaving so early?!?" Naruto sputtered, "we barely got back from the Land of Waves a week ago! And I haven't even been to Ichiraku's since we've been back!"

"You know, for someone who wants to become Hokage someday, you sure do complain a lot." Kakashi sighed in exasperation.

  "Yeah Naruto, stop complaining so much. Can't you be a little quieter, like some people." Sakura chided in, referring to Sasuke who wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"Sakura! Why are you taking his side?! You just side you were tired to, ya know!"

   "Yes, but I know when to be responsible and suck it up, unlike you, you idiot!" Sakura jabbed. She huffed and looked in the opposite direction of Naruto to indicate she was done arguing. Naruto slumped his shoulders in defeat and sighed. Kakashi chuckled softly and rubbed the back of his head, bowing politely to the Fourth.

"Sorry about them, they never learn." Kakashi said. The Fourth waved a dismissive hand.

   "No matter, just make sure to get her here safely. And Kakashi, I need to have a word with you privately." the Fourth said, indicating for the genin to leave his office. When they were signaled to leave, all three bowed and turned to leave, quietly closing the door behind them.

    "What did you want to discuss with me?" Kakashi asked curiously. The Fourth Hokage folded his hands underneath his head and settled his chin on top of them and looked at Kakashi with a serious gaze.

    "I know I said this was a C rank mission, but there is more to it than I originally thought. You see, the one requested this mission was the Mizukage herself." Lord Fourth said. This made Kakashi intrigued. "She wouldn't give me a lot of detail as to why she requested us to escort young Akina to our village, but what she did say was that this girl is extremely special for reasons that we don't know, that the Mizukage wouldn't disclose just yet. But if I am assuming correctly, this girl is the last member of a very long and very powerful bloodline, and the Mizukage wants her to be protected at all costs, so we must do our jobs as shinobi of the Leaf to make sure she is not harmed." the Fourth said. Kakashi nodded sharply.

   "If I may ask, what clan could she be from?" Kakashi asked. Lord Fourth hesitated for a few moments, debating on if he should tell Kakashi or not. He looked to his advisers, making eye contact with them. In the end, they all agreed to tell him.

"She might be the last living member of the Seto clan."

  Kakashi gasped, his visible eye practically bulging out of his head. "The Seto clan? I thought they were exterminated more than fifteen years ago."

  The Seto clan. Once revered as gods of the natural elements long ago. It was said that they evolved so much in there ninjutsu that they didn't need to make hand signs, and their taijutsu was on par with the Leaf's own Hyuga clan. And in some branches of the bloodline, their genjutsu was just as terrifying as the Uchiha's genjutsu. They were a force to be reckoned with, and many people were scared of them, as much as they admired them. But with power comes the people who wanted them dead. The clan was soon executed by their own village, in fear they would do something to the people. It was a tragedy many tried to forget.

   "Yes well, rumors were spreading around the land that a woman escaped, and apparently she was pregnant with who you are assigned to meet today. Though she probably doesn't know anything of her heritage and blood, and I want to keep it that way. Don't say anything, not even the your team." the Fourth warned. Kakashi nodded sharply. "Good, you may leave now." the Fourth said, dismissing Kakashi. He bowed lowly and quickly, then in a puff of smoke he was gone. The Fourth Hokage sighed and rubbed eyes, hoping to any god that would listen that they would all be safe on this journey.

    When the two hour time limit came to an end, Kakashi jumped to the front gates of Konoha, and saw his teammates already there, packed and ready to go. He landed next to Naruto and waved in greeting. "I see that you are all ready to go." He said, smiling through his mask.

 "You're five minutes late Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed, her hands on her hips.

 "Oh, was I? I didn't notice."

 "Yeah, well we did!" Naruto said, siding with Sakura. She nodded her head in agreement. Kakashi chuckled, not really knowing what to say. Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighs.

 "Do you ever shut up, you dolt?" Sasuke said pointedly to Naruto. Naruto glared right back and cracked his knuckles.

 "What'd you say?!?" Naruto yelled out, winding up his arm to hit Sasuke square in the face, but Kakashi caught his hand before he could.

  "Now now, teammates shouldn't fight each other. Besides we need to get going." Kakashi said. He let go of Naruto's fist and pushed him along so they could finally begin their search for Akina Seto.

  In the first thirty minutes of the journey, it was pretty quiet, with the occasional muttered insult from Naruto towards Sasuke, to which Sasuke ignored. But when thirty minutes became six hours, things started to get a little tense.

  "Sensei! Where are we even going?!" Sakura cried out, tired of all the walking they were doing.

  "Well, we are following the path that leads into Konoha, to see if we run into her while we walk down the same path." Kakashi explained.

 "I understand that, but we've been walking for six hours straight and I haven't seen another living soul at all!" Sakura complained. Kakashi rolled his eyes and sighed. He really didn't want to walk either, but what else were they supposed to do.

  As Kakashi was about to answer, a scream was heard throughout the forest, startling all four the shinobi. "What was that?" Sasuke muttered to himself, carefully taking a kunai out of his pouch.

   "I don't know, but it could be the girl we're looking for!" Naruto yelled out and dashed off the direction of the scream.

  "Wait Naruto, you can't ju-- oh nevermind. Sasuke, Sakura let's go!"

  As Naruto ran through the trees, he came to a sudden halt to see a girl with snow white hair hanging upside down from a tree with a rope. She was also surrounded by three ninja. Their kunai were out, and they were laughing maliciously. Before Naruto had a chance to consider going down there to help the girl, there was hand holding him in place. He looked over to see it was Kakashi, with Sasuke and Sakura following quietly behind. Naruto whispered to Kakashi, "Who are they?"

 "Rogue ninja it seems." Kakashi responded back quietly. "Okay, on my command, we'll all go in and surprise them. Knock them out and then get to the girl." Kakashi whispered. Naruto nodded, along with Sasuke and Sakura. He nodded and gestured for them to move out.

 Naruto quickly jumped out with a kunai in hand, and promptly kicked one of the ninja in the face causing his head to move in an unnatural way, and instantly knocking him out. Kakashi made quick hits to the second ninja, stabbing all his vitals points and also instantly knocking him out. Sakura and Sasuke made quick work of the last rogue, them both hitting him in the face on either side, at the same time, knocking him out too. "Well, that was fast." Naruto laughed out.

 "Yeah, for rogue ninja, they weren't that strong. They didn't even sense us." Sasuke said, putting his kunai back in his pouch.

  "You guys have a point. They were pretty compared to most ninja that go rogue. I wonder..." Kakashi concurred, trailing off into his own thoughts. The genin seemed to do the same, perplexed as to how they won so easily like that.

 "Uhm, not to interrupt your brainstorming, but do you think you could help me get down from here?" Akina said from her position upside down. Naruto heard her first and gasped loudly.

  "Oh right! Sorry about that!" Naruto threw his kunai at the rope, successfully cutting it, causing Akina to fall. Naruto made sure to catch her, then slowly drop her to the ground. Akina patted her clothes down for any dust and rubbed her hair down, making it less of a mess than it was when she was upside down. Naruto looked at her more closely. She was really pale, her eyes a deep blue, but yet red at the same time. Her eyelashes and eyebrows were also white. Everything about her screamed fragility. She seemed like the personification of snow. Yet, Naruto got the feeling she was strong, very strong. Maybe it was the way she held herself, or the gaze in her eyes when she met Naruto's.

 She smiled and bowed, then bowed to the other three. "Thank you all for helping me, I was quite in a bind there." Akina said politely. Naruto chuckled and put his hand behind his head in a casual pose.

  "Aww, no problem, what are ninja for!" Naruto said confidently.

 "Yes, Naruto is quite right here. But, are you by any chance Akina Seto?" Kakashi asked. Akina blinked up at him and nodded suspiciously. Kakashi's eye crinkled, signaling his smile from under the mask, and held out his hand to her. "Oh good. My name is Kakashi," she shook his hand," and this is my team, Sasuke," Akina shook Sasuke's hand,"Sakura," she then shook Sakura's hand, "and Naruto here, who cut you down from the tree." Kakashi finished as Akina shook Naruto's hand.

  "That's right, Naruto Uzumaki! Amazing ninja and future Hokage!" Naruto said loudly, a big grin on his face. Akina couldn't help but smile back at him.

  "Well, it's nice to meet all of you. My name is Akina Seto, wandering traveler, trying to find her way to Konoha." she said to them.

 "Yes, we were actually asked to meet you and escort you the rest of the way to Konoha." Kakashi said to her. "Now that we have found you, let us lead the way to your new home."

  "Thank you very much." Akina said gratefully. She looked around and quickly found her backpack behind a tree. Putting it on, she looked to the group and smiled, indicating she was ready to leave when they were.

  They set out again, going back Konoha this time. As they walked, Akina felt eyes on her and looked to her left to see Naruto stealing glances at her every once in awhile. She seem confused, was there something on her face? No, she didn't think so. Maybe something else...But, oh well. She smiled when she met eye contact with him. Naruto blushed a little in embarrassment at being caught. To distract himself, he started to talk with Sakura. Akina watched them interact, interested in how this blonde boy acted. He was pretty rambunctious for how small he was. She smiled to herself. She hoped when she got to Konoha, everybody acted like this. Loud and open. This would be her first step to a bigger, better life.

Author’s notes: I hope it wasn’t too bad, I really really tried on this. Also for my oc, you can totally replace her with yourself lol.

EDIT: A LOVELY PERSON TOLD ME HOW TO DO AO3 SO IT WILL BE ON AO3 TOO.

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Matthew Chaffee

Happy Friday, friends. Though the weeks are running together and what day it is means almost nothing anymore, we’re so happy it’s finally the weekend. The last few weeks have been some of the busiest for us (feeling grateful for that) and we’re looking forward to relaxing just a bit this weekend. Do you have any fun plans?

This week’s Feature Friday is Matthew, who shares what it was like growing up in a conservative environment, the response he got from his senior high school class when he came out in front of them by reading an essay (!), and his advice for those struggling to come out. We enjoyed getting to know Matthew and we think you will, too. See what we mean below…

What is your favorite place you’ve ever traveled to and why? Unfortunately, my answer to this question isn’t very exciting. Growing up, my family never had a lot of extra money to spend on traveling, so most of our vacations consisted of road trips around the Midwest. Don’t get me wrong, I got to see some fascinating places and make great memories with my family, but I haven’t been anywhere particularly exotic. I have been to New York City twice, both times for a music department tour in high school, and I’d have to say that it’s probably my favorite place I’ve traveled to. It was so much bigger and so much more cosmopolitan than anything I had ever seen or was used to, so it was quite overwhelming. The sheer vibrancy of it all – the lights, the smells, the languages – was intoxicating. Attending a performance of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway would probably have to go on my list of top ten life experiences thus far. It’s definitely not somewhere I could live for any length of time, but for somewhere to visit, it was phenomenal. 

Where did you grow up? What was your environment like? I’ve spent the entirety of my life living in West Michigan, which, as you may or may not know, is pretty traditional and conservative. More specifically, I’m from Grandville, which is a city of about 16,000 located in the Greater Grand Rapids area. Dutch heritage and Reformed (Protestant) Christian values play a big role in shaping the culture of the circles I grew up in. I attended a Christian Reformed Church, and I was educated in a private Christian school where my graduating class consisted of approximately seventy students. My family consists of myself, my mother, my father, and my brother, who is five years younger than me. I am very close with my parents, and I’d say my relationship with my brother is typical of siblings with our age gap. Family and faith have always been central parts of my life, and I don’t foresee that changing. 

How did your environment growing up shape who you are as a person? Growing up in a pretty conservative area definitely had an impact on my younger years. I remember in elementary school, like many children, I would parrot my parents’ political views when “discussing” politics with my peers. However, with the growing revelation about my sexuality that came with puberty, my views slowly began to change. Another catalyst for my shifting views occurred in middle school, when a good friend of mine was deported to Guatemala due to an error in her parents’ paperwork. The injustice of it all really impacted me and opened my eyes to a world that before had been largely hidden. High school gave me my first opportunity to connect with international students. As I have always been interested in learning about different cultures, I quickly befriended them and even helped start my high school’s International Club, which provided opportunities for American and international students to interact and attend various cultural events. Finally, my Aunt Dawn and Uncle Tim have played a major role in exposing me to issues concerning social justice. Although both of them grew up in West Michigan – just like my parents – their life circumstances have provided them with opportunities not experienced by most of my other family members. Because of this, they have always stood out to me as being somehow “different”, more engaged and more vibrant and passionate than most people I know. As I grew older and began paying more attention to the things my Aunt and Uncle would talk about, I began to realize the value behind the causes they were advocating. When taken together, my friends, my family, my sexuality, and my desire to continuously learn and expand my horizons have shaped me into who I am today. 

What’s one interesting fact about you? Besides English, I’m speak conversational Spanish and basic French and Korean. I also can play piano and trumpet, and I love to sing (though I don’t know if I’m any good or not, since I’m too shy to sing in front of anyone). 

What is one thing you love about yourself? Learning to love myself hasn’t been easy; it’s a process, and definitely something I’m still working on. But one thing I’ve always been proud of is my imagination. I’m a dreamer, and my mind is a wild place. I keep a running note on my phone of all the random, crazy things I think up so that maybe someday I can make them happen. 

What brings you the most joy in life? Oh boy. There are so many things I could talk about here. I love being outdoors. In particular, I love to bike. Bike trails are plentiful where I live, and Grand Rapids has begun to install bike lanes, so getting around and finding new places to ride is a cinch. My favorite ride is from Grand Rapids out to Lake Michigan, which I do a few times every summer with my best friend. Other outdoor activities I enjoy are hiking and hammocking. I firmly believe that everyone should own a good hammock. In addition to outdoor activities, I love to cook and bake. My specialties are ice cream and gourmet mac & cheese. Someday I hope to write a mac & cheese cookbook and title it “MAC: The Complete Guy to Everyone’s Childhood Favorite” (M-A-C are my initials). I also make a mean hummus. I love to learn. I’ve spent countless hours on Wikipedia reading about the most arbitrary topics. Whether it’s German political parties or the Japanese folklore, I’ve probably read about it. Nothing is off limits. As a result, my mind is a veritable treasure trove of random and mostly useless facts. Finally, I find joy in spending quality time with friends and family. Whether it’s playing ultimate frisbee, exploring a new city, dumpster diving at Krispy Kreme (a tradition at my college), or having late-night campfire talks, I’m down for just about anything as long as I’m with the right people. 

How old were you when you came out? What was your experience like? My coming out experience was a rather long process. Pretty much as soon as I began to have romantic feelings toward people, I realized that I had them for both guys and girls. This was around fourth or fifth grade, and I told myself that it was normal, that I wasn’t actually attracted to guys, but that I just knew that some guys were really good-looking. Once I reached middle school, I started to come to terms with the fact that maybe I was attracted to guys. But I continued to tell myself that I was more attracted to girls. I did the whole “percentage” thing, where I was like, “okay, I’m eighty percent straight, twenty percent gay.” I first came out as bisexual to my friend Carly. Freshman year of high school I told a few more friends that I was bi, and it went over pretty well. Sophomore year I briefly dated a girl, then junior year I began dating another girl. That lasted for about a year until we broke up early spring of my senior year. The breakup gave me a lot to think about, but even while dating her I realized that something never really felt right; I could never really imagine myself with her – or with any girl for that matter – for the long term. After much soul searching, I finally accepted that I was gay. One of the last big projects senior year was the “Where I Stand” paper. This was an essay written by every senior for English class, and it was basically an opportunity to say whatever you wanted and to be really open and vulnerable and reflect on your life leading up to that point. I decided to incorporate my coming out into my paper. It wasn’t the central focus, rather more of a side note. Thankfully, my English teacher, Mrs. Hoeve (now Dr. Hoeve) was extremely supportive throughout the process. On the day when everyone shared their papers, I concluded mine to thunderous applause, which was especially remarkable considering the fact that most of my classmates came from the same conservative, Reformed Christian background as I did. On the whole, I couldn’t have asked for a better coming-out experience at school. 

How did your friends and family take it? Did you face any backlash? How did/do you deal with that? I waited to come out to my parents until after my graduation and open house in order to not burden them with the news. Finally, after the celebrations had ended, I let them read my paper. The fifteen minutes or so that I waited in my room while they read it downstairs were the most agonizing of my life, because I knew how earth-shattering the revelation would be to them. When they finally came up to my room, their expressions were pretty much what I’d expected – reassuring, yet somehow disheartening at the same time. They assured me that they still loved me, that they were proud of me, and that they were glad I had told them. Since that time, we have only discussed my sexuality on a few occasions. When I first told them that I was dating a guy, it was almost like coming out all over again; I think that revelation finally made my sexuality real to them. In the intervening time, I have seen my mom making definite strides in becoming more open-minded not just toward me but in general, which is great. My dad, though he accepts and loves me, is very set in his ways – though, to be fair, I have had fewer conversations with him regarding my sexuality. My dad’s parents disowned me when I came out to them, though that hasn’t had much of an impact on me due to the fact that I was never very close to them. My mom’s parents, on the other hand, have always been incredible grandparents to me, so coming out to them, especially knowing their stance on other issues, was pretty nerve- wracking. Incredibly, the news didn’t seem to affect them at all, and their treatment of me since that time hasn’t differed in the least; they are still the loving, generous grandparents I’ve always known, and for that I’m extremely thankful. My friends have all been very accepting as well, though this was to be expected considering I have always associated with my more relaxed, open-minded peers. 

What did you learn about yourself in the coming out process? One of the most meaningful lessons I’ve learned about myself in the coming-out process is truly understanding what I value and stand for. I was raised as a Christian, and my faith is still very important to me. If anything, it’s actually become stronger as I’ve navigated the ups and downs of my journey with my sexuality. I’ve talked with numerous gay men who, at one point or another, renounced religion for various reasons, but often those reasons involved the church’s negative treatment or exclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals. To me, this is heartbreaking. As someone who identifies both as gay and as a Christian, seeing the false dichotomy that has been constructed around these two identities is challenging and frustrating, because I personally don’t believe that such exclusivity has any place in either institution. At its core, Christianity is about love. Sure, there are endless theological arguments to be made, but I don’t believe that these are necessary in order for a Christian to be accepting of another’s sexuality. Indeed, many of my friends are Christians; these are the same friends who accept my sexuality and wholeheartedly support me. Furthermore, the professors at the private Christian university I attend vehemently assert that Christianity and social justice go hand- in-hand, and that this includes advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights. Seeing this kind of support coming from within circles that are often viewed as hostile toward the LGBTQ+ community has been so incredibly encouraging. Not only has this served to reinforce my identity as both a gay man and a Christian, but it has also provided me with confidence when speaking about these issues. 

What would you tell today’s LGBTQ youth who are struggling to come out in fear they won’t be accepted by family, friends, society? You just might be surprised. People you’d never expect to support you will rally around you and love you. It’s also possible that people who truly care about you, but who may not be supportive right now, will have a change of heart when they find out. Sometimes it takes time. Case in point: my own parents, who are still processing and learning about what it means to have a gay son. Know, too, that family can mean more than one thing. Friends are the family you choose, so seek out and surround yourself with people who will love and accept you for who you are, especially if your actual family doesn’t. As cliché as it sounds, it does get better. Sometimes you just have to put in the effort to make it better for yourself and accept the challenges along the way. 

What is a difficult or challenging obstacle you have overcame in your life, or hope to overcome? By far the most difficult obstacle I’ve had to overcome in my life has been my struggle with mental illness, namely anxiety and depression. I was extremely anxious as a young child, to the point where I would induce vomiting before any sort of performance or sporting event so that it wouldn’t happen while on stage or on the field. Looking back, I think my anxiety was to blame for a lot of missed opportunities. For example, I don’t view myself as a particularly athletic person. But is this actually true? Or did I just never really try for fear of failure? Anxiety also manifests itself in my relationships. Elementary school friendships were rocky at best, and college presented its own challenges with meeting people and putting myself out there. More recently, depression has been a major struggle in my life. As I mentioned, I struggled initially to make friends at college (though this has since changed), and as I result, I became very depressed. I saw all the people around me getting settled into their friend groups while I felt alone. There was a point where my loneliness led me to seriously contemplate suicide, and I believe that perhaps the only thing that stopped me was when a friend checked in on me and gave me a hug. Since that time, I’ve been working on slowly but surely moving my center of identity to within myself, rather than placing it in other people and their judgements of me. I am focusing on pursuing my hobbies and interests, taking time to care for myself, and accepting my emotions as valid while simultaneously analyzing them through an objective lens. By doing this, I have become less worried about maintaining relationships and instead have been able to be present and actually enjoy them while also feeling more comfortable in the times when I’m alone. 

Who is your biggest inspiration and why? My biggest inspiration is my mom’s sister Dawn. She is one of the wisest, most thoughtful, and most gracious people I know. I actually came out to her before I told my parents; due to her close relationship with my mom, I knew she would have some good suggestions for how to break the news to them, and that she would be able to help my mom process the news after the fact. To give an idea of the type of person Dawn is, here’s a little anecdote: When I worked as a Resident Assistant in college, I had a resident come out to me. I was thrilled and honored to have him entrust me with such a significant part of his identity, and I really valued the opportunity to walk alongside him in his journey. I mentioned to him the role Dawn had played in my own coming-out process, and he asked if she might be willing to offer some advice to his mom. I reached out to Dawn, and she willingly agreed. I came to find out later from this resident that his mother and my aunt had talked for over an hour on the phone. I don’t know very many people who would go so far out of their way to help and support a complete stranger. 

Where do you see yourself in five years? Oh boy. Honestly, I try not to plan too far ahead, because that can be dangerous for an overthinking dreamer like me. But if I had to say, five years from now I actually hope to be doing exactly what you guys (PJ & Thomas) are doing. I joke that my dream is to have my own HGTV show, and while the odds of that happening are slim to none, I’d be happy to flip houses and develop property even without a TV show. I also hope to meet the man of my dreams, get married, and start a family, though this might take a little longer than five years down the road to happen. My greatest fear is actually never finding love. I know it seems a little ridiculous for a twenty-one-year-old to be worrying about that sort of thing, but it’s hard when you have friends who have been in serious relationships for years or who are getting engaged. I have to keep reminding myself that people find love at different times and in different places, and that I shouldn’t compare my own journey with others’.

Any last words you want to leave people with? Feel free to share! Feel free to message me! I always love getting to meet new people and hear their stories.

Thank you so much, Matthew! You can follow him on Instagram here. Hope you have a great weekend, friends!! xx

P&T

[santoteez]

A Manhattan Tale - Seonghwa (6)

Parts: 6 of ?

Masterlist HERE

Genre: Chef!Seonghwa, FormerDrugdealer!Seonghwa, FormerKingpin!Hongjoong, Bad boy/ Good Girl kinda??

Warnings: Love interest is a Black Female, Alcohol use, sexual intercourse, swearing, smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap your hard drive with antivirus always kids), squirting, slight degradation, Daddy kink, a little praise kink, cum eating (sorry), mentions of betrayal, Angst

Requested: yes

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU. All family members are FICTIONAL.

Seonghwa and Zelie managed to make it to Applebee’s with no problem. Seonghwa was surprised how easy it felt talking to Zelie. He hadn’t felt this free talking to anyone else, not even Hongjoong. Whether it was at the restaurant or his local corner store, he always felt the need to be uptight; to keep his guard up. Zelie reminded him what it was like to feel youthful. To act his age.

“What are you thinking of getting?” Zelie asked as they waited for a table.

“We haven’t even gotten our menus yet.” Seonghwa laughed.

“So? It’s Applebee’s. Everyone knows the menu.” She shrugged.

“Valid point. I have been wanting to try the Quesadilla Burger. They have that Blue Long Island Iced Tea, too. I might get that.”

“You’re drinking at 2 in the afternoon?”

“Alcohol starts with AL. You know what else starts with AL? Always. As in, it’s ALWAYS time for alcohol.”

Zelie shook her head. “You’re really something else.”

The hostess reappeared, grabbing some menus. “Sorry for the wait! The table was a little dirty and we’re a little busy during lunchtime, so I just wiped it down myself. You can follow me.”

“You really didn’t have to do all that. We would’ve waited.” Zelie said.

“Well, not to sound creepy but I recognized both of you almost immediately. You’re the head chef of The Majestic Dragon downtown, right?” She asked Seonghwa.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s me.” He smiled.

“I admire you so much! I’ve been picking up shifts here to pay my way through culinary school, but I hope to work in a restaurant like yours someday. The way you worked your way up from the bottom to one of the city’s highest-ranked gives me hope for myself.” She beamed at the pair.

“Wow, thank you. I don’t think I’ve had anyone look up to me like that, but I really appreciate it. But of course, I’d be nowhere without everyone I work with. Chefs like Zelie are key to making sure my head doesn’t fall off. Everyone from the chefs to the dishwashers to the hostesses are essential to a restaurant. If I can give you any advice, it’s that.”

The girl nodded. “I’ll take that with me. Well, here’s your table, feel free to sit where you like. Here are the menus, and we have some new dishes so have a look at those as well and your server will be right over. Enjoy your meal!” She said, returning to her post at the front of the restaurant.

“I like her, she’s nice.”  Zelie smiled.

Seonghwa nodded. “It feels great that I can inspire someone like that. Do you know what you want?”

Zelie glanced at the menu. “I’m thinking of getting a burger, too.”

“Should we get two of my order then?”

“I don’t know if I wanna drink this early, though. Last time I drank, you found me wandering around the city and I got shot at.”

“Sounds to me like you need a good alcohol-related memory to override the last one. Where’s our server?”

Zelie laughed. “Such a bad influence.”

“Hello! My name is Timothy and I’ll be your server-”

Seonghwa’s face dropped. He knew that voice anywhere. He looked up from the table to meet Nunu’s pale stare.

“Timothy Claremont. It’s been a while.” Seonghwa responded coldly.

Timothy’s hands shook as he opened his notepad. “It has. What can I get you?”

“I’ll have the Quesadilla Burger and the Blue Long Island Iced Tea. She’ll have the same thing.”

“What are your sides?”

“I’ll have fries. Zelie? How about you?”

Zelie snapped out of the trance this tense interaction had her in. “I’ll have mashed potatoes.”

Timothy nodded. “I’ll bring that right out to you, okay?” He smiled at Zelie before practically running away.

“Is he part of the story you told me earlier? Looks like he seen a ghost.”

Seonghwa nodded. “He’s one of those details I spared you. We can talk about it later if you wanna know. Damn, we should’ve gotten appetizers, these boneless wings look gooood.” He brought the menu up to his face.

“We can order them when he brings our drinks.”

Seonghwa did just that, much to Timothy’s despair, who wanted to keep his interactions with the table to a minimum. The pair ate and drank; their alcohol level rising steadily.

“I want another drink.” Seonghwa said, scanning the room for Timothy.

“We should just go. We’re both already way too gone to drive.”

“You’re right. Plus, there’s alcohol at home. TIMOTHY! Check please! And make those desserts to go!”

Seonghwa paid as Zelie bagged up the desserts.

Timothy resurfaced with his debit card. “You don’t scare me anymore, you know.”

Seonghwa looked up. “The way that notepad was shaking earlier says otherwise.” He said, slurring his words a bit.

“Enjoy your restaurant while it lasts. One Eye’s gonna deal with you, your friend HJ, and the Missus over there. Next time the bullet won’t just graze her.”

Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed as he felt himself sobering up. “That’s a pretty incriminating statement. Sounds like a threat.”

Timothy stood up straight went Seonghwa closed the space between them. “It’s more of a promise. You think just because it’s been three years you’d gotten away with it? You have no idea what’s coming.”

“Actually, thanks to you, I now know it’s One-Eye who has it in for us. Soon I’ll find out why, and when I do, I’ll make sure you and your brother never target us again. We chose to leave you alone last time. This time, we won’t be so courteous. I may be out of the game, but I still know how to use a fucking gun. So, go ahead. Try me.” He pulled away, smiling. “Thanks for lunch, man. It was nice seeing you.” He said, backing away, leaving Timothy with a sour look on his face. He walked to the hostess stand, Zelie close behind him.

“Hey, you never told us your name.” He told the hostess, trying to mask the apparent anger in his voice.

“Oh! It’s Zina.” The girl smiled.

Seonghwa fished into his wallet, pulling out a business card. “You said you want to work in a restaurant like mine someday. Why wait?”

“Seriously?” She beamed.

Seonghwa shrugged. “I can always use an intern. Email me and we can arrange a meeting. Show me what you’re made of.”

She nodded frantically. “Thank you Chef Park! You won’t regret it!”

Seonghwa grabbed Zelie’s hand, leading her out of the establishment.

“That conversation with the waiter couldn’t have been good, judging by your face.” She said.

“I just found out who’s behind all this.” He said, calling Hongjoong. “HJ. Zelie and I are at the Applebee’s on Parkchester. I can’t drive. Can you and Santana get here? Alright. We’ll wait here.”

Hongjoong arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes later with Santana. Hongjoong got out of the car to drive Seonghwa’s. Santana had volunteered but Hongjoong refused to have her drive by herself.

Santana drove and conversed with Zelie the entire time, with Hongjoong driving closely behind. She double parks outside of Seonghwa’s building, getting out of the driver’s side to say bye to Zelie and let Hongjoong take over.

“I’m so glad there’s another girl now. For years, it was just me and all the boys. Then Soojin came, but she doesn’t really count. I have someone to talk to!” Santana said, hugging Zelie tightly.

“Well, I guess that settles it. You gotta marry her now, or Santana will kill you. And like I said before, if she gets mad, I’m letting her.” Hongjoong told Seonghwa.

“Very funny.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

“On a serious note. I know you like her. She likes you back. Lock her down. You’ve been a bachelor long enough.” Hongjoong dapped him up before walking back to the car.

“I saw Nunu at Applebee’s-” Seonghwa said, stopping when Hongjoong raised his hand.

“Whatever you have to tell me, it can wait. Enjoy the night with your lady.” He winked, causing Seonghwa to laugh.

“You too, man.” Seonghwa said.

“I’ll try.” Hongjoong opened his car door, and Santana’s boisterous voice came through. “What do you mean ‘can we stop for Mcflurries?’ You just had ice cream this morning!” Hongjoong sighed when she screamed again. “Okay, okay. I’ll get you the damn Mcflurries. Yes, I’ll get you apple pies too. Just stop screaming.” He got into the car, driving away.

Seonghwa and Zelie made it into the apartment, Zelie sitting on the couch.

“You should really get a better couch, you know.”

He sighed. “What’s wrong with my couch? I’ve had it for years. It goes where I go.”

“I can tell. It screams college guy. Not to mention it looks like something straight out of a porno.”

“It takes a true porn watcher to know that,” Seonghwa said, taking a bottle of Mango Ciroc.  

“I guess you caught me.” Zelie shrugged. “Do you seriously need that much alcohol? You live alone.” She peered at the cabinet full of various liquors.

“I’m not alone right now.” He said, sitting beside her and handing her a glass.

“So your bright idea is to get me drunk?” She asked, taking a sip.

“A little liquid courage will go a long way for both of us, don’t you think?” Seonghwa said.

“Well, what are you hoping will happen?” Zelie asked.

“If I told you my wish, it wouldn’t come true. I’ll tell you this, though. From the moment you handed me your application, you never left my mind. Whether I was here, with HJ, or at the damn supermarket, I thought of you constantly. The way you laugh when you think something’s funny, the way you scrunch your nose up when you’re draining noodles, the way you look off to the side, daydreaming and looking distant.”

“Aww.” Zelie blushed.

“The curve of that ass when you bend over to pick something up.”

“Why you gotta ruin it?” Zelie deadpanned.

Seonghwa laughed. “I never dared to tell you before because I’ve been alone for so long. I haven’t had someone since Breana’s crazy ass and I got complacent.”

“So you mean you haven’t…?” Zelie asked.

Seonghwa shook his head. “Not since Breana, no. I haven’t even had a booty call.”

“How do you manage?”

“There’s dozens of toys around here. If you run into any, I’m sorry.” He laughed.

“So, if you never told me before, why now?”

“I’ve gotten to know you. I realized you’re not like the other girls that have flirted with me before. You care about me as a person, not just some hot guy. When you asked me if I was okay, I realized it. I was cold and distant. I told you my story, what I’ve done. And you’re still here. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Zelie leaned in, kissing him suddenly. “I’ll always be here, if you let me.”

Seonghwa nodded. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Zelie laughed. “You sound so childlike.”

“I haven’t had to do this in years, okay? I’m a little rusty. Just tell me yes or no before I die of embarrassment.”

Zelie rolled her eyes. “So dramatic. Yes, Seonghwa. I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Good. Because now I can do this.” Seonghwa yanked her up by her thighs, walking her to the bed.

“I dropped the glass you ass! There’s shards everywhere!”

“Fuck the glass. It’s not important. I’ve imagined having you here so many times, and it’s finally happening. Nothing’s gonna stop me right now.”

“Let’s see if you can handle me.” Zelie smirked.

“Don’t underestimate me, baby. I’ve been out of commission for a GRIP.” Seonghwa kissed her passionately, laying her down on the bed. He groaned at the softness of her plump lips, indulging in the taste of her. Zelie’s hands found way under his shirt, running her hands up and down his broad back. There were some rough patches she was positive were scars, but the heat of the moment forbade her to ask. She tugged at the material, lifting it.

Seonghwa broke the kiss, pulling his shirt up and off his torso, tossing it to the floor. He grabbed the hem of Zelie’s shirt, discarding of that as well. He kissed across her jaw, down her neck, making a beeline for her breast. He expertly unclasped her bra, exposing her chocolate-colored nubs. He took one in his mouth, twisting the other with the pads of his fingers.

Zelie’s hands tangled into his hair. “Fuck, Seonghwa.” She arched her back at his tantalizing assault. He took his time giving the other nipple the same treatment. He kissed down her stomach, pausing at the hem of her pants. He unbuttoned them, pulling them down in a hastily manner, his arousal getting the most of him. He pulled her panties down, tossing those too. He marveled at the smoothness of her calves, caressing them as he lowered her head to kiss her thighs.

Zelie writhed under his touch. “Are you gonna tease me all night or what?”

Seonghwa smirked. “I’ve waited a long time for this. Excuse me for wanting it to last.”

“You don’t have to. You can get it whenever you want. It’s yours, remember?”

Seonghwa hummed in pleasure. “You have no idea how good it feels to hear that.” He blew on her pussy lightly, causing the girl to shudder. “I’m feeling really hungry, are you gonna feed me, Chef Carter?” He asked, centimeters away from the area she needed him most.

Zelie nodded, pushing his head further. “Fuck, yes.”

Seonghwa shook his head. “That’s not how you ask, baby. What’s my name?”

Zelie huffed, rolling her eyes.

Seonghwa backed away slightly. “If following instructions is too hard for you, we can always just stop.”

“Please,” Zelie panted, delirious with lust. “Please let me feed you, Daddy.”

Seonghwa smiled. “Good girl.” He said, his tongue licking languidly at her core. Zelie’s back arched, her head hitting the pillow as Seonghwa sucked tantalizingly on her clit. Seonghwa wrapped his right arm across her waist; his left arm forcing her legs apart. He quickly became addicted to her. Her taste, sweet as fresh, dark berries, and her scent, as heavenly as the feast of your dreams.

Zelie’s legs began to twitch sporadically, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. “Fuck, Daddy, just like that. I’m so close.”

“Yeah?” Seonghwa asked, sending vibrations straight up her core. “Come for Daddy, then.” He said, his lips trapping her clit in a tight lock.

Zelie’s back arched at an almost impossible angle, her chest heaving up and down as she screamed Seonghwa’s name.

She yelped as she felt a sting on her ass.

“What did you call me?” Seonghwa asked, his voice husky and his eyes low.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to!”

“Turn around and bend over. Put your wrists together.” He ordered, reaching over into the nightstand, grabbing a red, silk tie. He wrapped it around her wrists tightly, forbidding any movement.

“Daddy, please! Don’t tie me up.” Zelie whined. “I won’t call you the wrong name again.”

“Quiet. You’re being a brat. Brats get punished.” He said, rummaging through the drawer. “Fuck. I don’t have a rubber.”

Zelie shook her head. “You don’t need it. I’m on the pill. I want to feel you, Daddy. Please let me feel you.” She mewled.

“Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s gonna fill you up so well.” He said, his hard cock pressing gently at her entrance, marveling at the sight of her arousal from her previous orgasm dripped down her legs.

“Fuck, Daddy. You’re so big.” Zelie exclaimed as Seonghwa bottomed out deep inside her.

“So wet and so tight for me, baby. You feel so good.” He said, earning a moan from Zelie. “Does my baby like that? Do you like being told how tight and wet you feel?” He said, thrusting slowly.

Zelie nodded. “I want to know I’m making you feel good, Daddy.”

Her words fueled him to quicken his pace, his hips now slapping against her, creating a lewd rhythm that echoed throughout the room. “You know how many times I’ve dreamt of this? Having you bent over for me, screaming and whimpering for me. You prance around the kitchen like you fucking own the place. Always so in control, and I’ve wanted nothing more than to have you right there on the counter and fucking wreck you. What would all the other chefs think if they knew Zelie Carter, typically so in control, was in my bed being my little bitch?”

Zelie moaned in response, her legs trembling. She reached out for the pillow, biting it to stifle her moans.

Seonghwa ripped it out of reach. “Uh uh, baby. I wanna hear every little sound you make. I want everyone to hear how good I’m fucking you. Fuck, you’re clenching around me so well.” He growled, pounding into her at a rapid pace.

“Is it everything you dreamed of, Daddy?”  Zelie asked in a sultry tone.

“It’s even better, baby. So much better.”

“Fuck, Daddy, I’m gonna cum. Keep fucking me right there. Just like that! Yes!” She shouted, her entire body ablaze.

“Cum for me, baby. Cum for Daddy. I want to see you wrecked.”

Zelie’s body shook with pleasure as the feeling in her stomach took over. Her orgasm rushed from deep within to Seonghwa’s cock and onto the bed.

“Fuck, Daddy, that’s never happened before. Oh my God.” Zelie said, coming down from her high. She whined from overstimulation when Seonghwa’s thrusts failed to cease.

Seonghwa let out a guttural groan. “Just a little bit more, baby. I’m gonna cum.”

“I want you to cum in my mouth, Daddy. I want it deep down my throat.”

“Yeah? Come here then, hurry up.” He said, pulling out and jerking himself.

Zelie knelt in front of him, her mouth ajar.

“Open up, baby. Here it comes.” His eyes shut tight as ropes of thick white cum fell into Zelie’s mouth.

Seonghwa sat onto the bed with a loud thud. “Fuck.” He chuckled when Zelie opened her mouth again, all traces of cum now gone. “You’re so fucking dirty.” He said, kissing her.

“You love it, though.” She said. “Next time though, I wanna suck you off.”

“Don’t get me started again. You don’t look like you’ll handle another round.” Seonghwa warned, making Zelie laugh.

He got up lazily, grabbing the broom and the dustpan and sweeping away the glass. “It should be safe to walk now. The bathroom is the door on the left if you want to shower. You can use my towel.” He said.

Zelie nodded, getting up and headed to the bathroom.

Seonghwa sat down on the couch, hearing a squeal from the bathroom.

“Seonghwa, you motherfucker! There’s a fleshlight in the fucking shower caddy!”

Seonghwa laughed. “I told you already. They’re everywhere!” He said, laughing harder when the sex toy is hurled his way.

His wish had come true after all.

Stephie here! I got a little carried away with the smut lmfao i really dont know man. BUT next chapter is FOR SURE going to be regarding the threats. i pinky promise.

[newwavestarchild]

So I’d like to preface this by saying that I haven’t read The Royal Romance book 3 yet so like while I’m aware other things must be going on during the time that this is set I don’t actually know what specifically.

To say Liam was surprised by the sudden invitation to Valtoria he had received that morning would be an understatement. After turning down his proposal at the Statue of Liberty Ariella had been rather distant. Part of the strain on their relationship was his fault as well, and not just because of his duties as king. Being around Ariella was unspeakably hard, and Liam was sure that Ariella was aware of that fact and was keeping her distance in an attempt to let him mend his broken heart in peace. He had to believe that. The only other reason he could come up with was that he had well and truly ruined things by proposing and he didn’t think he could handle his life without Ariella in it at all. So he waited, tried to move on and heal, and now, finally, Ariella had reached out. From the moment Bastien had brought him the envelope Liam had been overwhelmed by the anxiety of what this could mean. Ariella wanted to see him as soon as possible. He couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste, it might be his last chance ever to see her on good terms. So he cleared his schedule as best he could and sent out a response saying he would arrive in the early evening.

When he finally arrived at Valtoria and was led to Ariella he was surprised to find that she was the only other person in the room since Lady Hana had moved in not long ago. Ariella smiled weakly at him as he entered. He wasn’t sure if the smile was because a part of her was genuinely happy to see him or if it was just out of pity. As though Ariella could read his mind she told him that she thought it’d be best if they were to have this conversation alone. That way hopefully it wouldn’t get derailed. Liam felt as though an angry swarm of bees had taken up residence in his stomach as he took his seat across from Ariella in what appeared to have been converted into a sitting room.

“These chairs are lovely. Did you pick them out?” Liam asked, trying desperately to force the awkwardness of the situation away with small talk.

“Hana did actually. It took us quite a while to find any that we found suitable. She insisted we find some that were both stylish and comfortable, that way when Drake visits he won’t be able to complain about them.” Ariella said, a fond smile appearing on her face at the mention of Lady Hana.

“I’m certain he’ll enjoy these quite well. Drake has always been a fan of chairs you seem to sink into.” Liam replied.

“So I’ve noticed. He almost got you a recliner as a gift when you were engaged to Madeleine.” Ariella said with a chuckle.

“That does sound like something he would do.” Liam replies with a chuckle of his own.

It was nice talking to Ariella like that. He’d almost forgotten how at ease he felt around her, how normal. Unfortunately it seemed as though his luck had run out as Ariella cleared her throat before speaking the words he’d been dreading all day, “So, about why I invited you here-“

 Normally Liam wouldn’t interrupt, he knew it was terribly rude, but his nerves got the better of him and so he blurted out, “La - Duchess Ariella, I am terribly sorry for any discomfort my actions have caused you. Had I known that you were in love with Lady Hana I assure you I never would have proposed. I would never want to stand in the way of your happiness like that. The two of you are among my closest friends and I treasure you both dearly, but if you would prefer to keep our interactions to a minimum from now on I understand. I only hope that someday we can attempt to rebuild our friendship.”

 “Liam what are you talking about?” Ariella asked, her brows scrunched together in a way that Liam couldn’t help but find adorable.

 “Haven’t you invited me here to ask me to keep my distance? I know you haven’t exactly been keen to see me lately so I just thought...” Liam replied, looking down to where he was twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

 “Oh Liam, no. I haven’t called you here to end our friendship, and I sincerely apologize if my keeping my distance these past few weeks has made you think that’s something I wanted. The truth is I’ve been...well I’ve been trying to think of how to go about this whole conversation. I thought I finally had it, but now that you’re actually here in front of me I don’t think I did, or that I ever will.” Ariella replied looking up to the ceiling and taking a deep breath.

 “If not to break off our friendship then why did you invite me here?” Liam asked.

 “I called you here to thank you.” Ariella replied.

 “Thank me?” Liam asked.

 “Yes. I realized after the events of homecoming that I never really did get a chance to thank you properly.” Ariella said.

 “Ariella, you don’t have to thank me for making you a duchess. My doing so was what was best for Cordonia. You belong here Ariella, you make everyone around you better. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Court as lively as it’s been since your arrival.” Liam said.

 “I wasn’t talking about making me a duchess, though I am of course grateful for that too. I just meant... Liam do you even realize how much you’ve changed my life? Before we met I spent most of my time in this quiet sort of awareness that there was something else I could be doing, something else I should be doing. Then you showed up and gave me this glimpse of wholeness that I’ve only ever experienced a few times before. Usually in flashes when visiting my friends back home. I won’t lie and say I knew right away that this was what I wanted to do with my life the moment we met, but when Maxwell found me the next day I knew whatever change was about to come would be for the better and I was right. Liam if you hadn’t looked twice at me that night none of this would ever have happened. I would never have seen Cordonia, I never would’ve met Hana, I certainly would never have become a duchess. Liam you’ve done so much for me and I wish so much that I could give you back even half as much. You deserve all of the love that the world has to give Liam, and believe me when I say I wish I could be the one to give it to you.” Ariella said, tears brimming in her eyes by the end.

 “Oh Ariella, I never meant for you to think I did those things for you because I wanted something in return. Did I want you to love me back? Of course, but I could never hold it against you that you don’t.” Liam said, walking over to kneel before Ariella and taking her hands in his own.

 “Logically I know that, but god Liam I felt like a monster turning you down. The sweetest man I’ve ever met proposed to me and I said no. I almost didn’t, you know. I looked at you and thought to myself how could I hurt you like this? But then I realized saying yes would’ve hurt you more. You would always be able to tell that something was off, that my eyes wouldn’t reflect the same look of love back to you. And on top of that saying yes to you would’ve destroyed Hana too. I couldn’t do that to either of you. It’s funny in a way. Loving you took time, but knowing that I had to break your heart hardly took any at all.” Ariella said, tears now falling freely.

 “What do you mean loving me took time?” Liam asked.

 “I mean I don’t think love at first sight is really a thing. I knew I was drawn to you from the night we met, but I didn’t really love you until I got to know you better throughout the social season. Love is something that takes time, you have to know someone before you can know how to love them.” Ariella replied.

 “I suppose that’s fair. I do hope I didn’t take too long to love. I know we didn’t get to see each other very often due to my responsibilities.” Liam said.

 “Not at all. You might not have been the fastest, but it was certainly easy once we were finally able to find moments to speak.” Ariella said with a grin.

 “Oh? Then who was the fastest? If you don’t mind my asking.” Liam questioned with a grin of his own.

 “That would be none other than Maxwell Beaumont himself. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that he was the sort of man I would jump off a cliff with. Honestly I’m sort of convinced he’s my soulmate, platonically of course. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much in common with anyone as I do with him. After Maxwell came Hana. The moment we met it was like lightning struck me and the need to make her happy and keep her safe was seared into my very being. It wouldn’t develop into love right away, but god Liam, if Maxwell is my platonic soulmate than Hana is my romantic one no question. It’s funny too because it’s nothing like I thought it’d be. I thought someday I’d meet this person who would love me and understand me completely without having to try, and while I know Hana loves me I also know there is a lot about me that she doesn’t understand. That’s one of the things that makes her so wonderful to me though, nobody else I have met in my life has ever wanted to know everything about me as much as she does. She sees all these things in me that she doesn’t understand and instead of loving me in spite of them she pursues them relentlessly and it’s so nice. It’s so good to feel that wanted; to know that someone who already knows so much and is so wonderful looks at me and considers me worth learning about. After Hana came you. Every time we spoke you continued to be the same kind, sweet, and caring man you seemed to be when we met. How could I not love someone who would treat me as their equal when by all means they had no reason to? You amazed me at every turn and I will be eternally grateful for the fact I have been fortunate enough to get to know you. Last of all came Drake. Really it wasn’t until the night with Tariq that I began to see Drake as he really was. When he came in and he stopped Tariq I realized two things: one Drake really did care about me and two Drake was a genuinely good man. There are plenty of men out there who would’ve realized what was going on and done nothing, but Drake stepped up and did whatever he had to to keep me safe. A point he further emphasized at homecoming when he took that bullet for me. At first I thought Drake was an asshole, and I still do, but now I know there’s more to him than that. As jaded as he is about the world Drake still opens himself up to it, in his own way. He loves fiercely and when he’s not busy moping he’s actually quite fun to be around. Drake Walker is a good man, and I love him with all of my heart for how good of a friend he has been to me even if I did antagonize him as much as he did me in the beginning.”  Ariella replied, a wistful smile on her face.

 “That’s beautiful Ariella, and since I didn’t say it before you’re welcome for all of the changes I’ve inadvertently brought into your life. However, if we’re thanking each other for good changes then I believe I owe you a few thank yous of my own.” Liam said.

 “You’re welcome too. Looks like we’re stuck with each other since we keep making each other’s lives better.” Ariella said with a laugh.

 “I suppose you’re right.” Liam said with a laugh of his own.

[madrut16]

Day 2: With You in Mind

A/N: I decided to do a little experiment in second person POV so, hopefully, you liked it. It was really fun to write, especially the interactions between the different characters. 

Rating: PG

Book/Pairing: Hero (Grayson x MC)

Summary: On the two year anniversary of Whitney’s disappearance, Grayson unveils the proposal he’s created to fight the re-emergence of villains enhanced by prism energy.

Two years. 730 days. That’s how long you’d been gone. Blasted into the atmosphere without a trace to be found. And yet to him, it still felt like yesterday. 

He traced invisible circles on the wooden conference table, his mind drowning in thoughts of you. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t slip into this forlorn tide of remembrance. All of the moments you shared together first as friends and then slowly over time as more than that. He recalled vividly the day his feelings for you snuck up on him and left him breathless. Even the most insignificant conversations he had thought nothing of at the time meant everything to him now. 

The door opened, breaking him from his melancholic stream of consciousness.

“Mr. Prescott.”

He looked up, registering the young woman he was required to hire to replace you. Marjorie insisted even though she begrudgingly missed you almost as much as he did. As everyone did. You really managed to make the entire city of Northbridge become endeared to you. 

“Yes Alice?” he responded, clearing his throat of the emotion that covered it.

Her inquisitive stare took in his depressed demeanor. Since last year she had gotten used to the fact that when addressing Grayson, different energy when he was like this.

She blinked and feigned a light cough when he noticed her lingering, mildly concerned gaze. “Sorry, um, I just wanted to let you know that your guests, the superheroes are here in the lobby when you’re ready.”

Your friends. 

All changed by the prism energy his father exploited. Somehow, in the chaos and emptiness, since you vanished, he had befriended them too. They all shared a similar heartbreaking loss among other things. 

Finally, a smile appeared on his still angelic face, albeit a ghost of the ones you had come to miss. “Great, have them come up. Thank you.”

She quickly exited the room leaving him in silence once more. He stayed seated for a moment, remembering when it was you that did this for him. Anyone could be an efficient assistant if they were organized and diligent. Yet somehow, you did it better than anyone. You were the person who believed in him the most. You shared the same lofty ideals his father always shot down without much thought. 

A momentary scowl between his eyebrows formed. 

How dare he take you from him, the one person who was able to give him everything Silas wouldn’t. Just as soon as his anger appeared, however, it was gone. His father was to blame for many things, but this detail of that day two years ago wasn’t completely on him. It was just as much of your decision. That’s what they told him in the aftermath anyway. 

That was the thing that linked the both of you impossibly together. The lengths you would go to put others before you. To help the ones who needed it the most. You were going to change the world someday—together, the dynamic duo you had been since childhood.

But then you had to go and do the most sacrificial thing of all. And now, you were nothing but a memory and phantoms of false hope that one day you would come back soon. That you weren't gone forever. 

Because you couldn't be. Not when he hadn't gotten the chance to say the most important thing of all. 

With the heaviest of sighs, he stood up and finished the last preparations for the meeting. The idea he was going to unveil. Now, it was time for him to do something about his grief. He would not let your legacy die in vain, regardless if you ever came back or not.

Several minutes later, the boisterous voices of his guests echoed as they filed inside.

“Hey Blondie,” Eva told him, her playful smirk on full display. She breezed past him and collapsed into a plush swivel chair. She was just as bubbly and mischevious as when you last saw her. 

He regarded her with a courteous smile as she was given a chastising stare by Kenji who filed in after her. 

“What?” she gasped, feigning a look of innocence. “Someone has to cheer you up.”

“Eva,” he told her, his usually lighthearted voice having a little edge. “Not today.”

She sighed, a frown revealing the feelings she wanted to disguise. “You don’t have to remind me. I miss Whitney too y’ know.”

His boyish grin that used to annoy you to know end faltered. “Believe me, we all do.”

He plopped into another chair, the confident air sucked out of him.

You had this effect on them. Even though they had all tried to put their sorrow in a box that they could recognize but ignore, it still managed to leak out, mentally handicapping them.

As Grayson sat at the head of the table, the door slammed open abruptly.

“Sup.”

Caleb’s prescience filled the room with an uncomfortable air. While Grayson had come to befriend him, the rest of your friends hadn’t. The memories of when he was fighting against you still overwhelming the moments when he joined your side.

“What’s he doing here?” Kenji demanded, a heated flush coating his cheeks in a shade similar to his signature jacket.

“Glad to see you too,” Caleb remarked, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

They continued to regard each other with hostility. Grayson’s eyes drifted between them, a look forming that you had known well as annoyance bordering on full irritation. He always hated conflict and that had only worsened after you disappeared.

He stood up abruptly as they argued, clearing his throat. “If you would quit fighting, I will tell you why you’re here. All of you,” he scolded, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep from losing his temper completely. 

A hushed silence fell, their attention squarely on him. His displeased expression relaxed into a neutral one just like that.

“Thank you. Caleb is here for the same reason that you two are,” he explained, walking over the computer monitor. “I’m sure you are all aware of the spike in crime Northbridge has experienced over the past year.”

Caleb shook his head in contempt. “Ridiculous. And thanks to your mom Kenji, we can’t even do a thing about it anymore!”

“Hey! I don’t like it either," the DA's son exclaimed, bolting out of his chair once more. "But I can’t talk her out of it no matter how much I try, so shut it murder hands.” 

Eva tried to get him to sit back down without success.

“For the last time, I’m on the straight and narrow! I haven’t done any of that since…,” he stopped, swallowing heavily. “…since Whitney and I escaped Silas.”

This managed to stop the trail of words coming out of Kenji, something you had only been able to do before.

Grayson nodded, a shared look of understanding between the CEO and reformed street-rat. He was the one that gave Caleb his bartending job at the theatre and paid for the apartment he rented as well. It was another project that you had left uncompleted that he was determined to finish. The pinnacle example of his desire to reform Northbridge’s inner city.

“Caleb’s right. I wouldn’t be helping him if I didn’t think he deserved it,” he commented, his clipped words a plea to end the hostilities. “Now, I’ve also been talking to Meiko Katsaros about this.”

“What? Gray, you didn’t say anything about that,” her son Kenji remarked, his eyebrows shooting off his forehead.

“I know. I didn’t want to mention anything until I could get her on board with my idea of mine,”  Then, a smile, a real smile formed, one that surprised everyone else in the room. “Luckily, as of last week, I have her tentative but full support. Which means I can finally reveal my plan to you since I want you to be a part of it.”

Deliberately vague, the pent up energy radiated out of him. It was one of the things you loved about him most, how excited he got over a new project of his. 

“Us?” Eva asked, twirling a pen between her fingers. 

Grayson turned on the projector and slowly his presentation came into focus behind him. “I want to create an agency for you so that you can be superheroes out in the open.”

His words sink into each of your friends. 

“You serious Gray?” Caleb was the first to respond. 

He seemed to echo the sentiment of his companions. 

A curious smile formed on Eva’s tanned features. “How’d you get Meiko to agree with that?”

“Well, the reason for the ban’s reinstatement was because of the incident two years ago,” Grayson explained. “She doesn’t want a repeat since the prism energy is still out there. But, Dax came to me about six or seven months ago with information that more criminals and villains are emerging who have been exposed to it. I even hear that the energy is nationwide and not just in Northbridge like we’ve thought for so long. There is a need for an organized fight against it that normal police simply can't do.”

The developments stunned his guests. It seems that history might be repeating itself, and the energy was still there from the explosion all those nights ago at the gala. Maybe even permanently. 

Kenji’s eyebrows were raised in alarm, much like the other two vigilantes at the table. “So that’s where we would come in?”

“Precisely,” Grayson affirmed, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement. He was really in his element now. 

He only wished that you were here with him. 

“You see, she does recognize the value in what you do. She just wants it to be controlled which I hope to do. I regret that even if I knew about you and...and Whitney at the time that I would not have been able to help you with my father. So, I want to be able to partner with you now in what ways I can, hence this initiative I want to create.”

He could see them starting to warm up to his idea. 

“What would this entail exactly?” Caleb wondered, his lips momentarily tilting upwards before flattening into his usual expression. “Just cause I’m walking the line now doesn’t mean I want to cozy up to it.”

Grayson continued to click through the Powerpoint as he spoke. “Well, the details are for us to figure out together but, this is the basic outline I’ve thought up. I contribute capital and technology to allow for smooth operations and you, well do what you do best: protect the city. And if it goes well, maybe even the country also.”

“So like Criminal Minds?” Eva perked up. “Because that would be the life.”

“It’s a possibility, yes.”

“Well, you’re making it hard to pass up then. Just think, we could be doing what we love for a living,” she said, a world of possibilities in her eyes. 

A new light could be seen in Kenji as well. “Not just that. We could really help people...save lives.”

It seemed Caleb was the holdout. But, it was typical of him. He was the biggest cynic you knew. “Wait, you would be our boss? And you’re running this?”

Grayson’s smile barely wavered. “Yes, my time would be split due to my responsibilities here. But, I think you misunderstood. I’m not asking you to work for me, Caleb. I’m asking you three to work with me. We would be in charge together. And...and Whitney.” He swallowed an unexpected hit of sadness at the thought of you. “When she comes back of course.”

“You really think she’s alive somewhere? That she’ll be back?” Kenji asked him in surprise. 

But, the look in his eyes said a little different. Somewhere deep down that hope was in all of them. 

Looking at them, Grayson’s eyes shone with fresh tears. “I have to. If things were reversed, I know she wouldn’t give up. So I’m not going to either. In fact, she’s part of my inspiration for this whole program. It’s something we would do together if she were here. With all of us.”

A weighty silence hung over them. Finally, they all eyed Caleb expectantly. Kenji’s was almost a glare it was so intense. 

After a minute, he let out a sigh, unable to hide the inner layer within his hard outer shell. “You know I’ve been wanting to do something meaningful. I’m in.”

A smile returned on Grayson’s face, one more radiant than you’d ever seen. He was finally coming out of his father’s shadow, having no more regrets about the past. Today, this anniversary was all about the future and you would’ve been proud if you were there with them. 

“Let’s change the world then.”

[oneyanderegirl]

The Disease of Unrequited Love Chapter 6

This is for Sasuhina Renaissance Week 2018! Not sure how long this story is going to be, so hope you all enjoy the ride like I will be. I haven’t written in a while, so apologies for any mistakes. I’ll probably end up rewriting this someday because I didn’t like how I wrote in some parts, but for now please enjoy the story~

A/N: So sorry this chapter took so long! Due to slight laziness, writer’s block, and life getting in the way, I ended up taking forever to write this chapter. To all the readers taking their time to read this story, thanks for being patient with me. 

To Sasuke’s surprise, they had managed to make it just in time to ring the bell. Despite the crowd of people gathered around, the ringing of the bell brought a sense of peace amongst the chaos. Once everyone was able to ring the bell, they moved on to writing their wishes on the wooden tablets that were being handed out.

He could hear the group excitedly talk amongst one another about the wishes that they had written. Unsurprisingly, many of them were expected. Naruto had loudly wished for a lot of good ramen, which earned a punch from their pink haired teammate. On the other hand, Sakura and Ino both had wished to find love during the new year, although they both already had someone in mind. Lee had wished to remain as youthful as he was at the moment, so that he would be able to train more. Shikamaru had wished to keep his workload light and easy. TenTen had wished to collect more weapons and gain a mastery over them. Shino had wished to discover a new insect species during his missions.

Despite this, there were some who had wishes that surprised everyone. Choji had wished to become a top chef, surprising everyone, save for Ino and Shikamaru. Sai had wished to find a certain plant that he had come across during his missions. When asked, he said it was because the plant produced a very beautiful color that could only be replicated using it. Kiba had wished to become brave enough to ask her out. This was the most surprising out of them all. Everyone had questioned him in attempts to find out who the girl was, but the man had refused to answer telling them all to stay out of his business. Although Sasuke had noticed the way he had blushed and avoided Ino’s gaze.

“ What are you planning on writing on it?”

Sasuke turned to Hinata in slight surprise. The others were by a food stall waiting for a table. He hadn’t realized they were the only ones left who still needed to write a wish. He kept his gaze on her, noticing some of the snow that clung to her long hair. He noticed her redden cheeks caused by the cold winter chill and the way her pale eyes were slightly dazed from tiredness and the wind. Yet despite the heavy snow and the cold wind that blew, she still smiled at him in a way that made the harsh weather look alluring. She reminded him of a snow fairy.

A very beautiful snow fairy.

“ I’m not sure yet.” he finally said.

“ I see.” she nodded.

“ What is your wish?” he asked.

He saw the way her eyes glanced at a table that the others were sitting in before turning back to look at the tablet in her hand. He knew who she was looking at. She let out a soft sigh before smiling at him again.

Taking one of the small brushes on the tablet, Hinata slowly wrote on the piece of wood, careful not to mess up any strokes. When she had finished, he could see the neat delicate writing on the wood.

“ I wish to become strong.” she softly whispered.

He looked into her eyes, unsure of what he was looking for. He could sense a pain brought by the hardship of war and the duty of being a Hyuga and shinobi. He could also sense a sadness within her that was from the heartache of unrequited feelings, a sadness that Sasuke was too familiar with.

“ You already are strong.” he said.

She let out a forced laugh.

“ Thank you for thinking so,” she sadly smiled.

Even after all these years, he could still see the lack of confidence within her. He could see by the way her eyes roamed towards the sky that she was thinking about something. It was most likely what she had just said earlier.

He knew how important being strong was for her. It was something that had been drilled into her throughout childhood. It was one of the few things that most people didn’t realized how serious she took it for.

It was also something that he admired and respected about her.

“ Hey, what’s taking you all so long!” a voice cried out.

Startled, they both turned to the table near the food stall. The voice belonged to Ino, who had been secretly watching them from afar along with the others. Seeing that they were waiting, Hinata quickly apologized before turning to Sasuke to tell him know that she would be waiting along with them.

Soon Sasuke was left alone. As Hinata walked away from him, he continued to watch her before looking at the tablet in his hand. He slowly took a brush and dipped it in the ink before taking a moment to pause and think about the wish he was going to write.

He already knew his wish, but hesitated to write it.

But as the snow continued to fall and the area became more crowded, Sasuke knew that he needed to hurry. So with a determined sigh, he quickly wrote on the piece of wood and hung it up along with the rest. Silently, he read over the wishes that the others had written until his eyes had reached hers.

I hope to become stronger and protect the ones I love.

It was a typical wish that he knew Hinata would make, yet the meaning behind it held so much more significance than one would assume. He knew because she had told him.  

And that was why when he saw her wish, all of his hesitations went away.

Sasuke knew that he had made the right wish.

---------- The wind had calmed significantly as midnight appeared closer. It seemed as if the whole village was there, all waiting for New Years to come. Blankets, carpets, tarps, and tents were all scattered among the area with families and friends of all sorts resting within them. Sasuke’s group was no different. They were all standing on the hilltop watching the stars in the sky.

“ Hey, do you think they’re going to show the fireworks this year?” Tenten excitedly asked.

“ Of course the are. They show it every year. I don’t know why you’re so excited.” grumbled an impatient Kiba.

Sasuke could see the death glare that she had given the boy.

“ This is all so troublesome.” sighed a bored Shikamaru.

He was leaning with his back against Choji, while his friend happily munched away at the food that everyone had brought. Along with Shino and Sai, the three of them were drinking tea together.

“ Patience my fellow comrades! Soon we will see the most glorious fireworks Konoha has ever put!” said Lee as he proudly stood on a random boulder he had found.

Soon Naruto joined in as well.

“ Hell yeah! This is gonna be the best News Year ever!”

Sasuke could hear the others sigh in annoyance. However, when he turned to look at Hinata, he could see her muffled giggles.

It gave him a twinge of jealousy.

When her eyes met his, she looked down in silent embarrassment. Having been caught staring at his best friend, he knew that her flushed cheeks and the way she bit her lips were in response and in acknowledgement that she knew that she had been caught. And although Sasuke could feel a slight pain in his heart knowing that those feelings weren’t meant for him, he couldn’t help but think that Hinata looked adorable at that very moment.

It was moments like these that Sasuke was grateful for the close relationship they had developed over time. The subtle, yet obvious expressions were an unfamiliar side of hers that very little people knew. Even amongst her friends, only those closest to her really knew how she was, but there were even fewer that understood her.  

It was moments like these that made Sasuke love her.

Yet, it was also moments like these that gave Sasuke pain.

He didn’t know how long they had all stood there for, but a sudden burst of yelling startled all of them.

“ N-Naruto-kun!” she shouted.

Her shy, yet determined expression told Sasuke all he needed to know. He knew what was going to happen.

She was going to confess to him.

“ Uh...what is it, Hinata?” Naruto asked in confusion.

His blonde haired friend's expression seemed to make her even more nervous. Sasuke could feel the hairs on his skin stand on its ends. His hands unconsciously closed into a fist as he continued to watch the scene before him.

“ I...I want to talk to you a-alone, if it's okay.” she said.

Naruto nodded in response and before he knew it, they had already walked off together to another area.

He could hear the others whispering amongst each other about the scene that had just unfolded beforehand. It seemed Tenten, Shino, and Kiba already knew what was going on, while the others were left with curiosity. Ino seemed to understand the gist of the situation, but didn't say anything.

Sakura, on the other hand, held a worried expression.

It seemed she knew what was about to happen. Yet, she too kept quiet and tried to steer her friends from prying further and instead focused on the celebration happening at the moment.

It seemed to work.

Soon, the scene was pushed out of their minds and everyone returned to normal. They continued to joke around and make conversation with one another. Everyone, though with mixed feelings, had managed to let go of Hinata and Naruto's interaction.

Everyone except him.

He knew that this was inevitable. It was bound to happen sooner or later. He had even encouraged her to do so.

Yet when he saw the two of them walking away together, he could feel something in his chest hurt. The familiar ache in his heart slowly spread to his limbs and throat, causing a disruption in his breathing. The cold chill of air seemed to freeze as soon as it entered his body. His hands had unconsciously tightened into a fist, whether out of frustration or jealousy, he didn't know.

He just knew he needed to go.

“ I’m leaving.” he said.

Everyone turned to him in surprise.

“ Why are you leaving? It's almost midnight.” Sakura asked.

Sasuke ignored her and turned his back away from everyone.

“ Sasuke?” Ino said in shock.

He felt a hand grab him. It was Kiba.

“ Your attitude really pisses me off. Acting like you’re fucking cool or something like we’re still twelve.”

Tenten tried to calm the man down, but Kiba was too angry to be stopped at the moment.

“ The only reason any of us are here with you is because of Naruto and Hinata. If they didn’t beg us everyday, we wouldn’t have even given you our time of day.”  

“ Kiba, stop it.”  

Kiba ignored his pink haired teammate and continued on. He could see slowly formed fists as the man continued to step closer into his space. Everyone could feel the tension in the air. It was almost palpable at this point.  

“ Yet here you are, Sasuke fucking Uchiha, still acting all high and mighty after putting everyone through hell all these years. Shouldn’t ya at least show some respect to us?”

Sasuke looked at everyone as he maintained an expressionless face before glaring back at Kiba.

He could feel the flames within his body ignite. The aches that pressured the muscles in his body felt painful. He knew the symptoms were starting to show. It took Sasuke everything he had to stop his body from visibly shaking.

“ I never asked any of you to do this. It was your own choice, not mine.”

He walked past Kiba, careful not to come into contact with the man. If he did, he knew he wouldn’t be able to control his body.

“ Hey, you bastard, come back here!”

Kiba tried to go after him, but was quickly stopped by Shikamaru. Despite the years that had gone by, they all knew one thing: if Sasuke wanted to do something, there was no stopping him. He could hear Sakura sigh in defeat before giving him a smile.

“ Sasuke, I’m not sure why you have to leave right now, but thanks for staying with us today. Happy New Years to you.” She said.

Sasuke continued to walk away from them.

If he had to be honest, he wouldn’t have mind spending the rest of his night with them. He knew they were planning on going to Naruto’s house later to party and although he meant what he had said to Kiba, that didn’t mean that he did not appreciate their gesture. He knew what his past actions had meant for his future; he had accepted the consequences that came with it.

That was why despite the hatred he felt for the village, he was appreciative of this gesture from them. It eased the distrust he felt towards Konoha and made him a bit relieved that there were still people, no matter how small, that were willing to trust him.

However, the pains in his body told a different story. He knew he would not be able to control the symptoms any longer if he stayed. He had to leave.

Still, he wanted to show them his appreciation.

He could feel the muscles in his body burn as he turned around one last time. He could see the others trying to calm Kiba by diffusing the tension through jokes and banter. It seemed to work as he could see the laughter on their faces. His throat burned and he could feel his hands shake, but with effort, Sasuke was able to go unnoticed. Despite the burning he felt as each breath left his mouth, Sasuke forced himself to control his body so that he could say what he wanted before finally leaving.

“ Happy New Year.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sasuke quickly sprinted out towards the path leading to his home.

He didn’t even noticed the shocked expressions on their faces.  

[badass-queen-of-puns]

Midnight Snack Part 2 (Kallura One Shot)

Summary: Allura is worried over her own feelings regarding a certain someone and is confronted by Keith’s mom, Krolia about it. 

Word Count: 3046

Warnings: Nothing but Lots of Feels and fluff to the max haha

Please read Part 1 if you haven’t. It’s in Keith POV first.

Allura’s POV. 

The day that Keith came back with his mom, it was a sight she could not believe herself. Actually, it was something she could believe because it’s been something that Keith has been searching for since joining the Blade of Marmora. Perhaps it was something she felt he could find the moment he joined Voltron entirely, before she knew it her eyes could see that he’s grown so much, literally. She could tell by the way he stood within her reach that he had matured much more than she thought possible. The time he left the team, she thought someday he would return. Someday. She knew he would come back to us. Us. Was it so much to hope a little? Wait. Hope for what?

Yet as she saw the relentless joy of everyone surrounding him, beaming with continuous words of surprise and glee for Keith’s mom. She gave a glance towards this Galra mother of his, her aura appeared intimidating but not at all unapproachable. She wanted to pay her respects and gratitude of returning Keith back to us. Back to her. She thought to herself. Me? Why me? What did I want to say to her really? Say to him?

The words she wanted to say, convey, were more than just mere words of gratitude or curiosity onto how their reunion took place. Of course, she was just as curious as everyone who was standing before him, yet she wasn’t the type to bother interfering into someone’s privacy without consent like the others, such as Lance or even Pidge. She preferred to keep to herself until she felt it was necessary to act upon it. Though deep down, her feelings of regret began to take over if she didn’t. No. This is not like the past. You can speak. Just do it. What are you afraid of?

Though before she could gather enough of herself to form a word, not even a sentence, a pair of deep purple eyes locked onto hers as if they were telling her to give some kind of greeting. Some kind of sign. A show of how happy she was. That he was back. He was here. Looking right at her.

But what was suppose to be words in response to their intertwined line of sight became nothing more than a small gesture as her face revealed one simple thing. A smile. That’s right. That’s all she needed to show to him. That’s all he needed to know.

Like any kind of movement or action towards a particular individual, Allura would soon realize what a simple smile could do. Not that she actually knew who was bothered by it.

It wouldn’t be till a few days after that, she realized what was bothering her most as it was during the time in between that she snuck glances at Keith and Krolia interacting until it hit her like a lion’s roar waking her up like a sounding alarm. Envy.

The time they spent together she knew was precious. She definitely knew that all too well. Time was precious. Sometimes she thought if only she had more time. More time to spend with her father before he casted her off into a comatose state of frozen imprisonment as their last fateful parting. Or spending more time to know more about her mother. Someone she wished she got the chance to know better before she departed from her life when she was but a young child. But now those were nothing but memories. Memories she was afraid might fade away soon enough like the home she once knew. Long gone but not forgotten. At least... she thought to herself. Not yet.

She shook her head, thinking to herself. Stop it Allura. You’re a princess. You’re someone not to be trifled with. A surviving Altean. A member of Voltron. Your personal feelings don’t need to mix with those who are important to you. You need to be happy. You need to be serious. You need to be…

As she didn’t want to continue thinking about such emotions that she felt underneath that uniform of hers, she sighed hoping it would release some part of the feeling that was taking hold of her. Pulling her arms toward her face, she gave herself a slap with both her hands as they lightly touched her cheeks. Feeling unsatisfied, she did it again. And again. And again. And again. Until, she stopped.

But not by her own accord. As she felt a large hand wrapped around her wrist, it wasn’t that tight that she would of had to maneuver her away out of it, but still locked on that she would still have to look at what was locking her in place. It felt strong. Strong like someone she knew. Though before she had the chance to turn around to see who it was, a voice spoke in return.

“And I thought princesses were suppose to avoid getting hurt. Not hurt themselves instead.” That voice.

Turning her head around, Allura’s eyes were caught face to face with the one person she didn’t thought she would have the chance of conversing with, let alone one be in a silly situation such as this. Stood before her was Keith’s mom, Krolia, postured in her Galra uniform as she always wore with a stance that did not show any sign of being broken down. Allura gulped at the sight that lingered between the both of them before she felt the looseness of her arm being let go from her grasp a moment later.

“My apologies, Princess. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just surprised at the actions you were showing earlier.” Krolia spoke as she situated her position in a more formal manner.

“Oh no, it’s my fault.” Waving her hands in front of her as if she was trying to wipe something away while looking at her, feeling a bit embarrassed as she did, Allura continues “I do not want you to misunderstand, I was just…” She felt herself waver on her words as though she needed to explain herself.

But instead as if she was pointing out something, she evades saying anything in truth. With a smile on her face, she replies back to her “I was just trying to wake myself up a bit! Yes! Giving a good slap is sometimes the way to go. At least that’s what Pidge tells me sometimes whenever she says she would be on the computer for days on end, but who knows when you might need something to wake yourself up from---”

“You know you aren’t that great at lying, Princess.” Krolia’s voice stopped her from making a more fool out of herself with her unequivocal babbling. Allura’s face became pale, thinking to herself, how did even she think she could fool someone like her. Someone like her. She’s definitely just like him. The image of him swept through her mind as she felt a tap on her shoulder. Slowly bringing her head up, she saw something she did not expect to see. Something that felt familiar. Warm. Nostalgic. It wasn’t bright to be shown, but enough for her to give the same right back. A smile.

“Now tell me. What’s on your mind, Princess?” Allura looks back at Krolia, who was still smiling. The kind of smile a mother would wear in front of her child. Closing her eyes for a mere second, she opens them right back with a smile on her face as well.

“Allura. You can call me, Allura.” She replies, her eyes shining more with each word as she said her own name to her.

“Alright, Allura. I’m all ears. Now what’s got you hurting? And I don’t mean your face.” Krolia points a finger at Allura’s cheeks, which appear slightly red after slapping them a bit too many times than she should of.

“Umm..” She rubs one of her cheeks, feeling a bit of heat from the small induced pain she caused herself earlier just moments before. “I was trying to take my mind off something.”

“Oh, is that so?” Even with a vague response, Krolia’s eyes didn’t turn away from her. They were looking straight at her just like his always did, no intent of looking away. She knew she couldn’t lie to this woman, no matter how hard she’d try, so she decided to do the one thing she knew could. Stay true and be honest. Vaguely honest.

Eyes unchanging, she replies, “Yes. I was just thinking about someone. Someone who I thought I should be glad for because they found something they haven’t found in a long time. And even though I’m glad about that person, I’m worried that I’m being greedy in wanting that same thing. Or at least what it felt like.” She felt herself drifting off as she lets those last bit of words come out of her. A sullen smile appeared on her face as opposed to before, unsure of what to say next. She held a hand to her chest, wondering. What is it that I want?

“You know there is nothing wrong with wanting something that someone else has.” The words of Krolia sounded closer than before as she became face to face with the woman whose appearance showed she had gone through a lot more than she could of imagined and yet still has the time to give such words of wisdom, she continued “Even if you know you can’t have it. Sometimes you just got to find the thing that is just like it and see how different it is from what you want and figure out if it is what you need.” What I need? 

“I see. Sometimes I tend to worry so much about myself that I shouldn’t even be worrying at all in the first place.” Allura gave herself a huffed laugh, trying to make it sound more believable to herself than the person standing in front of her.

“You look like a strong woman, Allura. Kind. Brave. And probably a bit stubborn like someone we both know. But someone once told me, sometimes you don’t need to look like you got to carry the whole universe on your shoulders. You just carry what you can. And others will help you carry the rest. That’s why you have a team, correct?” Krolia says, giving off a quaint smile to her as she felt Krolia’s hand reach the top of her head with a light pat. No words could provide her what she felt at that moment, only warmth. Wondering to herself, Is this what my mother was like as well? Was it this feeling? Was this what I was missing? Not pondering on more questions in her mind as Krolia lifted her hand away. The warmth gone but not forgotten.

Smiling back at her once more, Allura nodded, agreeingly. Yes! I’m not alone. Not anymore.

“But if you still find yourself filled with worries, I know just the thing to help you out.” Allura wonders to herself as she saw Krolia’s smile grow a bit wider. And what might that be?

Unbeknownst to her, Krolia was no fool either.

The widespread kitchen of the Castle of Lions was one place that appeared to be a less of a danger zone as compared to other areas of the castle, such as the training deck or the bridge. But for Allura, pilot of the Castle of Lions, it was the total opposite. It was a battle zone. Thinking to herself on the memory just a few hours before this happened.

Krolia spoke to her, revealing a piece of advice that Allura believed at the time could help her out in her somewhat worrisome state. At least, whatever was left of it that she was trying to get out.

“Try baking something.”

“Baking?” Allura questioned her on the sudden odd piece of advice she was being given. She couldn’t really imagine Krolia baking. The thought just made her giggle just a bit before hearing the rest of what she had to say.

“Yeah. I know it sounds far-fetched, especially for someone like me. But it always helps. Trust me.”

“I see.” She replies back, wondering to herself if it would actually work in keeping her mind off it. Off him. It doesn’t hurt to try, she thought to herself. Accepting the task as if it was a newfound challenge, she asks “So any ideas on what I should make? I’m not too up to skill on the ideals of cooking dishes. Especially of Earth.”

“How about cinnamon rolls?” Krolia’s eyes light up a bit as she suggests.

“Cinnamon rolls? What’s that? I don’t recall anyone telling me about those. Is it something like a milkshake?” Allura’s face changing into one of confusion instead, Krolia couldn’t help but give a slight laugh at her innocent expression. Allura surprised by the sudden laugh, couldn’t help but smile at what she saw. She should laugh a lot more. She thought.

Krolia continues, her eyes drifting off a bit in a different direction as she said her next words, “Yeah, Keith’s dad use to make them all the time. It was practically the only thing he was able to make while I was on Earth.” Allura’s eyes widen a bit in surprise as she heard her speak of Keith’s father for the first time.

“Was he not good at cooking?” Allura asks, thinking about a certain someone as she did.

“No he was. He just had this thing for cinnamon rolls. That’s all.” Noticing the look on her face become soft as she talked about him. She must miss him a lot, she thought to herself. They both must do.

“Well if I ever plan to take my mind off certain things I better make sure to make mine as good as his.” Taking Krolia’s hand in hers, she places a genuine smile on her face in return. Wondering if it was enough to give bit of relief to her as well after all she’s been through. Alone. But not anymore.

“It’s pretty easy. You’d be surprised how much cooking one can do back on Earth.” Krolia gives a wink to her.

They both began to laugh.

“I’ll tell you how and all you gotta do is try.” Krolia smiles.

“Seems simple enough.” Allura smiles back, wondering How hard could it be to make a cinnamon roll?

Simple enough, my altean butt! Who thought cooking was fun was sorely mistaken!

Allura threw herself in a fit of flour as she found herself cracking eggs in the worst way possible.

With a spatula.

She didn’t think she did anything wrong. She was following the ingredients as it was given to her by Krolia.

Crack Eggs She hit them with a spatula

Few Tablespoons of Sugar She put it all over the counter as measurement

Divide Butter In Half She uses her bayard to whip it to split it. Splitting the bowl carrying everything in as well

Couple Scoops of Flour Don’t even get me started on that one.

A Little Dash of Everything Else She had no tickin clue.  

Even with everything at her disposal, Allura couldn’t quite grasp the idea of making something that could roll. She knew that Altean delicacies were foreign to the paladins but they were able to adjust well to what was provided when they first came on board. Maybe she needed to ask for help with this one, though she contemplated whether to bother waking up Krolia. After all, it was almost midnight.

She even had her little mice friends helping her out as well and they were just as awake as she was, not wasting any time to scurry their feet near the baking area, or at least what was suppose to look like one. Thank you my friends! Yes, I can do this! She thought, bringing herself back to her senses as she decided to not give up just yet. Though just as her little mice friends were assisting in bringing another bowl to her, it became too heavy as one of them jumped into it and began rolling away sideways towards the kitchen doorway. Allura notices her little yet big friend and barely manages to catch the bowl before it went off the counter, but as she was swift to catch the bowl, her big mouse friend wasn’t in it anymore as she barely spins around to see her mouse friend in the air and----

POOF

Oh no! What a great way to go, Allura. Her thoughts clouding her mind as much as a huge puff of flour exploded over her as she finally saw her mouse friend safe as it apparently landed on a huge bag of flour. The reason for her more than white wardrobe that could easily match her hair color, making her look like a ghost. But it wasn’t even the look that got her looking more white and a bit red underneath, it was what she saw next as she saw a few of her mice friends, who were covered in just as much flour as she was, scurry off out towards the doorway. As she did, a figure appeared in her line of sight, dare to hope it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“Hey! What are you—?!” Hearing the familiar voice shout in her direction. Confirming her vision, it was him and it wasn’t just seeing him that made her surprised it was what she saw him doing.

Believe or not, Keith Kogane. Red Paladin of Voltron was aiming his sword to her.

Though before words could form from her lips in explanation, one thing happened that neither of them expected.

She sneezed.

Straight in his face.

A puff of white powdered over Keith’s face as Allura’s became less than white as it was before. Though not without the expression of absolute embarrassment coming from both parties as they stood frozen.

Without a doubt, flour was apparently their best friend at this moment. Because tonight, they were about to realize how much of it they would actually need to erase this already awkward tension between the two of them. His princess. Her paladin.

What were about to become of these two?

Only the mice who watched them both with squeaky nosiness hovering over their tiny bodies knew the answer to that.

Oh my gosh can’t believe i wrote this much, it’s crazy and it’s already 4:33am lol. and i’m not even tired at all. *knocks out in bed 3 seconds later* I was super excited writing this next part and im sorry if its kinda a lot, but needed to be done. So just suck it up and read! hahaha But really you guys I really hope you’d enjoyed it and let me know you’re thoughts as well! Only one part left! What will become of those two? hehehe Im excited if you’re excited to find out haha stay tuned!