#we have no idea whats in store for us in whatever new show we're getting okay

[arcanegifs]

cmon you guys stop it with the garen hate smh his lines with Kat in LOR are so fucking funny ksdjfksdjfksdjfks

If you really want more lesbiabs in League you can also watch/read Leona and Diana!!!!!!!

DOOMED YURI SAVE US ALL

[solo6677]

A Little Tired of Life

There is a popular song out right now that starts "Do you ever get tired of life" then it goes "you are not really happy but you don't want to die". Well that is my life. Who am I? I am Richard Johnson. I am a 48 year-old married man. I am 6 '2 with brown graying hair, brown eyes and an athletic build. 

I have been married to my wife Victoria for the last 20 years. Together we have raised an 18-year-old daughter. Her name is Amanda. I work in an office building downtown as an accountant. I have three good friends and a so-so friend (you know the type). 

Back to my life, my marriage doesn't feel like a marriage, I feel more like we're roommates. I enjoyed my life with my wife until our 1st was born 18 years ago. It's not that I don't love my daughter It's just that my wife hasn't been intimate with me. We haven't had any sex for 18 years and as a date night goes yeah you can forget that.

We don't even sleep in the same bedroom. When my wife and I first started to date I made a promise to her that I would not cheat on her. However, this is increasingly becoming more difficult as I have not had a life, sex, or any intimacy for many years. I am not sure how much more I can take.

Monday night I came home from work. I had a lousy day but I brought home with me 2 tickets to a new musical opening up downtown. I wanted to surprise my wife so I bought flowers and a good bottle of wine, her favorite, to tell her about the show. I thought since we haven't been out in a while this would be a fun time for both of us.

When I made it home, she was sitting on the couch watching one of her reality shows that I can't stand. I walked up to her and asked her to pause her show. She didn't even look up at me and said no. I looked down at her and told her I had a surprise for her, again she said no. At this I became enraged.

I threw the flowers on the floor and stormed off to my room. I called my friend Robert the so-so friend from before. I knew he was a fan of musicals so I asked him if he wouldn't want to go and he immediately said yes. I then told him we would talk about plans for later.

I then went back into the living room to my wife and told her that Robert and I were going to the show. She looked at me and said quite meanly, "Whatever" then she asked what night it was for? I told her it was going to be on Wednesday night. That was 2 nights from now.

She smiled and said she already had plans with Amanda. I asked her what they were doing and she just had a sly smile on her face and said “girl things”. I then went to open the wine for her and I. We made small talk and then after a few glasses we both went to bed.

On Wednesday I met Robert for drinks before the show and we talked about our lives. I told him about the way things are and how unhappy I was. Then that aforementioned song about being a little tired of life came on the jukebox. I then looked Robert in the eyes and told him that is me to a tee. I then told him I wish I could just disappear. Robert's eyes lit up. He had an idea. He then told me about Evie's Emporium.

That it was a shop in the mall. It has all kinds of transformative items. lt probably had what I needed to disappear. He then told me about AdoniX. He said with this I would transform into an alpha male and I could just disappear. I thought that may be my answer and I thanked him. I paid for his drinks even though Robert was rich. He didn't like to spend money and we went to the show.

After the show I arrived home to an empty house. I grabbed a beer, sat down and watched all the sports highlights for the night. I looked around at the empty house and thought to myself, could I really give this up? After a few more beers and I said fuck yeah. The next day after work I went to the mall to check out Evie's Emporium.

I was astounded by how many products were in this one store. They had clothes, accessories, makeup shoes, and even skin bodysuits. I walked around bewildered until a customer service rep came up to help me. Her name was Mara. She asked me what I needed and I told her that I was looking for AdoniX. She smiled and walked me over to the vials potion section.

As we went by the shoe department I could see another associate Bruna explaining how high heels could be a very transformative experience for a very attractive female customer. As we went to the potions section, I saw another associate Erica talking to another attractive female customer about how great the big black dildos feel. Then I continued to follow Mara some more. We then passed the manager's office and emblazoned with big gold letters was the name Q. Evie Hyde.

The Q made me curious so I asked . She laughed and said it meant Queen. I thought maybe it was a joke and went on with her to go find the AdoniX. When we arrived, Mara picked up the bottle. She told me that it was their last bottle and that it was permanent.

I told her that it didn't matter to me. Then I said that I planned on disappearing and not coming back. I asked her how much and she told me the price. It was a little more than I thought it would be but it was the last one so I purchased it and then left to go home.

When I got home, I took my purchase to my bedroom. I kept thinking where the best place to hide it would be. The fact that my wife and daughter never go into my bedroom I decided to hide it in my sock drawer. I then went to the living room to watch some TV. About an hour later my wife and daughter came home laughing.

I asked where they were as they had been out all night. My wife gave me the same answer she normally did: “girl stuff”. I tried to do some small talk with my wife and my daughter but just got frustrated and went to my bedroom to be by myself.

The next morning at breakfast I was informed that my wife and daughter were going to visit her mother for the weekend. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to use AdoniX and go on with my new life. As this was now Friday morning it gave me time to plan out my new life too. I went to get ready for work when I saw Amanda coming out of my room. I asked her what she was doing and she said she had to use my bathroom because hers was not working correctly.

I just nodded okay and then I heard Victoria getting off the phone. "Okay we will be packed soon and we'll leave in about an hour, see you soon love you." She then told me that it was her mother and their plans had changed and they were leaving within the hour. I was overjoyed by the news. This meant I could put my plan into motion a lot quicker. After they were packed, they got in their car. I said my goodbyes and they went to her mother's.

The minute the car was out of the driveway I got on the phone and I called off of work. I went and showered and dressed then I went to the bank. I closed up my account and took out a small loan, I'm going to be a new man so how would they find me to pay anyway. I went to my lawyer and changed my will leaving everything I had to Robert. Finally, I went home to take my AdoniX.

I got home and locked the door then ran into my bedroom. I pulled the vial from my sock drawer and read the instructions on the back. It said to take off all jewelry and clothes as the transformation could make your body bigger. So I followed suit. I took off all my clothes until I was fully nude.

Next it said that it may be disorientating at first so not to be standing. I made my way over to the bed and I sat down so that way I would not fall over. Finally, it said that this vial of AdoniX is permanent and cannot be reversed. After reading that final warning I smiled and drank down the whole vial.

The taste was similar to strawberries and cream. At first, I felt nothing and then my whole body felt like it was on fire. I was profusely sweating and my heart was beating out of my chest. I looked at the bottle again for warnings and side effects. That was when the label fell off to reveal not AdoniX but an Elixir instead!

I started to read over the Elixir and I found out it was permanent and I wasn't going to be an alpha male, I was going to be a female. No sooner had I read the back but I started to feel much pain. My body shrunk from my 6'2 frame to a 5'7 frame. My hands got really dainty and my fingernails started to grow. My legs and feet got smaller and more feminine. My body hair all over dissolved to leave me just the hair on my head. My brownish gray hair started to spill out down my head and changed to a dark brown. My hips widened and then the pain became so unbearable I passed out.

When I awoke it was already night time. I could see the Moonlight beaming through my window. I went to sit up when I noticed my body felt different. As I sat up, I saw big titties. I felt them and a chill went through my body. I got out of bed and walked over to my mirror and stood in shock. The vision before me was absolutely gorgeous.

The woman I saw had dark brown hair and had real deep brown eyes. I touched my hair to realize I was her. My tits were big and my pussy was bare. I reached two fingers down to feel myself. It felt really wet and I jumped on my bed to give myself my first female orgasm. I then took a steamy shower, not able to keep my hands off myself.

After the third or was it the fourth orgasm I went to my daughter's bedroom to look for some clothes. I was able to find a set of underwear a black bra and panties that fit me.In her closet I was then able to find a black dress that fit me but snug in my chest. I then went to my wife's room, looked in her closet and found a pair of black stiletto heels. I put on my new heels and went to start my new life.

I grabbed all I wanted from my house. I called an Uber, got in and left. My next stop would be at a hotel for the night before I found a more permanent place to live. Well in the Uber I started to feel horny and very playful. I made sure the driver kept his eyes on me as I flashed my tits and masturbated most loudly. He drove off the road a couple times.

When we reached the hotel, I asked him in a breathless voice how much I owed him for the ride? He was quite pale and told me it was on the house and he thanked me for being his best customer. I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. I gave him a kiss on the lips and told him I had to give him something. He blushed and told me that it was his pleasure and then he drove off.

I grabbed my suitcases off the ground and I went into the hotel. Inside I went to make a reservation and a very pretty young redhead was at the counter. I read her name tag and it said her name was Sarah. She was younger, probably in her early twenties. She had freckles on her face and very pretty eyes.

I asked her about a room and she unfortunately said they did not have any vacancies. I told her I had cash but she said unfortunately nothing is available. I went to turn away and then she called me back. She told me that I looked desperate and in need so I could have her room for the night. She asked me how much I could pay and I lied and told her $200. She accepted the $200 and handed me her room key and then blushed. I could see that she was interested in me.

So I asked if she was going to be spending the night with me in her room. She blushed again and said she has a couch she can sleep on. I then walked behind the counter to surprise her and kissed her full on the lips. I felt her nipples stiffen as I pulled her in for a quick hug. I also felt my pussy get wetter after she started to kiss me back. Smiling I asked her when she got off for the night and blushing she smiled back and said in about 15 minutes. I then made sure to tell her that I will see her in her room after her shift and I kissed her again. Walking away she asked my name and I said Rachel.

I took the elevator up to the fifth floor and I found the room. I opened the room to see a young woman's room as I figured Sarah had to be probably 21 or 22. I looked into a full length mirror in the room and got a better view of it myself. My body was the body of a late 20 something year-old year-old. My hair was dark brown and on my shoulders. My brown eyes were almost hypnotic. I went to undress when I heard the door open. It was Sarah.

She looked at me and walked over without a word and started to kiss me again. As we kissed my hand started to get bold and I touched Sarah's tits. They weren't as big as mine but they were enough. She started to moan and then she grabbed my dress and started to take it off me. I then grabbed her uniform and unbuttoned it to see her tits in a pretty flowered bra.

As I took her clothes off, I admired how firm her body was. I then threw her on the bed and finished undressing her. I laid her on her back and then started to suck on her toes. I then started working my way up her legs. When I got to her pussy, I noticed the way her hair was shaved. She had it in a heart shape. I started to kiss up her tummy and then each nipple.

I then started to kiss her lips again as I kissed her, I put two fingers in her soaking wet pussy. She started to squirm and moan then I went down on her and started to suck on her clit. She moaned even more as I then took my tongue and licked her to her first orgasm of the night. She then told me to lay down.

As I did she started to kiss me all over then she took her tongue and started to lick my pussy. I couldn't believe how good this felt. She then stuck her tongue inside of me and I exploded into my first real female orgasm. After we both orgasmed again Sarah pulled out a dildo from a drawer and fucked me with it all night.

After we were done Sarah smiled and told me that I was the first lesbian experience she ever had. Matter of fact I was the first female she was ever attracted to. I smiled and said she was my first lesbian experience also and by far better than I ever imagined. We laid in each other's arms until morning's first light.

In the morning she made breakfast for us and tried to return the $200 I gave her. I refused to take it back as she let me rent the room. She kissed me again and said that I could stay as long as I like. I thanked her and told her that I was going out to buy some clothes but I would take her up on her offer.

After that I got dressed and went back to the local mall. When I got there, I had all my credit cards and cash. I went from store to store and purchased everything I would need from clothes to underwear, to shoes, and even makeup. I was about to leave the mall when I again saw Evie's Emporium. I stopped in to look at the clothes and the accessories there.

I saw Mara this time she was helping a very handsome male customer. I also saw Erica helping an older woman with clothing this time. I was looking at collars when I was approached by another woman. She told me her name was Evie and that she was the owner of the Emporium. I asked what they did here at the store and she told me that she loves to bring out ones inner bitch and make dreams come true.

I then went and thanked her and told her what a life-changing experience this store has been. I then purchased a few more items including a couple collars, some more permanent elixirs and even something called SimpX. You never know when you might need something I thought. I then left the store and walked around for a little while.

I then went back to the hotel to wait for Sarah to get off of work. I had bought some groceries and decided to make her a wonderful dinner. As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I could see Sarah behind the counter helping someone with their reservation. I just smiled at her and went back to our room. When I got back to the room, I pulled some items out of my bag, put my clothes and shoes away and then took a long sensual bath touching myself the entire time thinking of Sarah.

After my bath I started to make dinner. I made pasta and pulled out some red wine that I bought. When Sarah finally came in, I watched her eyes bulge out. I was sitting on the couch in a brand-new pair of blue lingerie and sitting on the table next to me was our dinner. She started to head over to the bedroom when I stopped her. I told her to come on and eat first and then we can play. Sarah blushed and then sat down.

As we ate, we talked about each other's day. I told her how I went to the mall and made a bunch of purchases. I then told her that I was looking for a new place to live and maybe even a job. I asked her if she liked what she was doing. She looked at me and said she hated her job but this is the only job she knew. Then I told her I came up with an idea: what if she didn't have to work, what if neither of us had to work? She looked at me very inquisitive and said what do you mean? I then pulled out a bottle of Elixir.

This bottle will change your life like it did for me. I was a nobody going nowhere, then I took this bottle and I became a goddess. How would you like that to happen for you? Sarah smiled and asked me how so I handed her a bottle of elixir and I told her to drink it. Sarah, with no question asked, drank it down and then she began to change.

Her hair grew out and got darker almost like a blood red, her body grew out to make her almost the same age as I am. Her eyes became more vibrant and looked incredible. I then went back into my bag and grabbed a magic collar.

This collar said evil bestie on it. I asked her if she wanted to wear it if she wanted to be my evil bestie, Sarah grabbed it and threw it on her own neck and I knew we were meant to be. She also asked me to call her Delilah from now on. That night we took turns using the strap on i bought and fucked each other all night long. Right before we fell asleep I looked into Delilah's eyes and knew that she was the one that I truly loved.

The next day it was time to put my plan into action. Delilah and I left early from the hotel on her day off. We went to visit my friend Robert. Robert was a millionaire who lived in a giant mansion with many servants. When we got to his place I knocked on the door and his Butler answered. I told him I wanted to see Robert that I'm a friend of a friend and I gave him Richard's name. Robert immediately came to the door and let us in.

I pulled Robert into his living room and talked to him and told him that myself and Sarah wanted to show him the time of his life. So, Robert then let us into his bedroom where we all undressed and had three-way sex. While Robert was resting, I decided to put my plan into action. I took out a vial of SimpX and poured it down his throat.

The change was almost immediate; he had gone from a 6-foot man to a very feminized 5'2 sissy. His hair had grown longer, gone from a sandy brown to a very dark brown.

He was still naked from our sexual adventure so I could see his cock shrink till it's just a little cockle. When he woke up, I put a magic collar around his neck that said slave and locked his cockle in a cage. He immediately addressed me as mistress and asked what he could do to service me. I pulled out more of the magic collars and told him to call in his servants one at a time as they will soon be mine. Robert agreed and I proceeded to turn his Butler into a female slave. And then all the maids into my slaves also.

Almost a month later since we moved in with Robert. Delilah  and I have not been happier. We have sex every night in front of Robert while he has his cock caged. I keep thinking maybe to use the elixir on Robert but not yet. I happened to be resting outside by the pool when I saw a very familiar face show up next to me.

I saw my ex-wife Victoria and my daughter Amanda. They came to see Robert. It appears that my ex-wife and my daughter had used elixir from what the sissy Robert told us and were using their elixir bodies to fuck him for money behind my back.

I started to talk to Victoria and asked her if she was married. She laughed and said no, my husband disappeared almost a month ago. Then she started to laugh. He was such an idiot, she said.  I asked her what she meant by that and she told me that she had Robert tell him about AdoniX. So she knew her husband would be interested in buying it since she hasn't been interested in him in years.

I laughed too, yeah what an idiot I said then what? She told me that she then had my daughter sneak into the bedroom and change the vials from AdoniX to a permanent Elixir. She could only imagine what her husband looks like now. We laughed about it a little bit more and then I asked her if she would like to see a new room in the house.

She said yes and she followed me. I introduced Amanda to Delilah then pulled her aside and told her my plan. I had Delilah show Amanda her bedroom. When Victoria and I reached my bedroom I pushed her down on the bed and knocked her out. When she awoke she asked me why I did what I did . I just looked her in the eyes and told her “Thank you, you stuck up bitch!”

“I love my new life now”, she then had a look of fear in her eyes that made my pussy very wet. I will never forget the look in her eyes when she realized it was me. I said” I love being an evil bitch. I get to fuck a woman I love and now I get my revenge on you. You worthless cunt.”

She tried to get up to hit me but then realized that I had tied her to the bed. I then went to my closet and got out the slave collar. I threw it around her neck. I kissed her once more on the lips and told her I want a divorce. I then had an evil smile and said welcome to slavery bitch. Meanwhile in Delilah‘s room she did the same thing to Amanda.

Less than a year later Delilah and I got married. I love the way that she treats my ex-wife and my daughter. She treats them like the worthless slaves they are. That was something about her that absolutely turned me on.

I gave them both my ex-wife and daughter permanent Elixir and used two more collars on both of them, the slut collar and also the bimbo collar. They both work at the local strip club making money to bring home to me.

Robert, I decided to turn him into Roberta. I gave him elixir but again used the slave and slut collar on him or her. She actually is now my personal maid. Also my three friends I alluded to earlier, are enjoying their new lives and couldn't be happier! I love my life now and just to think at one point in time I was a little tired of life.

Also my three friends I alluded to earlier, are enjoying their new lives and couldn't be happier! I love my life now and just to think at one point in time I was a little tired of life.

If it wasn't for Evie , Erica, Mara, all the other writers who bring out the best in transformations this wouldn't have been written.

Thank you all

[buddiebeginz]

I hear what you’re saying and I love and appreciate the positivity but I’m just tired at this point. It feels like Fox all over again where its roads leading to buddie until the end of the season when it’s suddenly *storylines drive off in a random unsatisfying direction for Buck and Eddie and their LI’s* as the network goes hahah you silly shippers. You’re insane for thinking that was happening. We have no idea what you’re talking about or why you would even think that was a possibility. (But please stick around as we gaslight you into thinking it’s happening again next season before we do this all over at the end. 😜)

I understand why you'd feel that way and trust me I've been around for all of it and been burnt by the show time and time again so I get how you feel but I do believe this time is different. I think we're closer now to Buddie than we have ever been before.

If Buddie wasn't happening I truly believe Tim would have handled Buck's coming out in a way different way. He's not stupid and he knows how much people ship Buddie. Yet he made Buck's bi awakening ep all about Eddie. He's also had Buck and Eddie more connected than ever this season. There's also been very little of B/T and T*mmy. That's not the way you get an audience to become invested in a new ship. If Tim was really all about T*mmy and B/T we would have had more development with them yet they've barely had any real meaningful conversations

I also think that there would have been so much less press about Buddie. We've had more talk about Buddie by major press sites (ones that never talked about them before) like Rolling stone and People mag than we've ever had before. Tim and ABC (and the actors) could have made the decision early on this season to answer the Buddie question a couple of times to be firm and make sure people knew it wasn't in the plans. Yet not only have they not shut Buddie down but they continue to talk about it time and time again and the response is always basically that they want to take their time and do the story right. Also remember that questions are preapproved by the network and the actors team. If they didn't want to talk about Buddie they wouldn't be like in previous seasons when most of the time they didn't.

I get being scared to get your hopes up and of being let down again I'm scared about that too. More than anything I just really want to see Buck and Eddie finally be together. Not even just because I ship them but because I know how momentous and important it will be when that happens. I'm also tired of waiting for 911 to finally bring them together but I think we just have to be patient for a little longer because Tim and the rest of them only have one chance to get this right. I know a lot of us have been waiting years but considering they just moved to ABC and Tim just came back in a way it's like we're starting over again. But that's been a good thing I think for the characters and the show and everything feels like it's on a good track for Buddie to happen way more than we were after seasons 5 and 6.

Another thing is that the closer a will they/won't they ship gets to finally coming together shows will usually up the drama so we think it's not going to happen so then when it does it's more emotionally rewarding. So whatever is in store for Buddie right now even if they have a falling out (like some of the spoilers hint to) and even if B/T make things official going into s8 that doesn't meant Buddie is off the table. S7 did the most to let us know that Buck and Eddie know each other and get each other and are there for each other more than anyone else is for them and that relationship will always shine through above any other.

Try not to let the drama in fandom and whatever happens in the finale get you down. We can and always will be able to ship Buddie and celebrate that relationship regardless of whether or not they're canon. Message anytime. ❤️

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Honestly the action that takes place in HoH is my favorite -Danny Words: 2,727 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

XXX: What Are Thooose?

"What are they?" The demigods stand together near the handrail and stare at the creatures wandering the streets of Venice. 

Jason squints. "The mortals think they're stray dogs."

"Or pets roaming around," Piper suggests. "My dad shot a film in Venice once. I remember him telling me there were dogs everywhere. Venetians love dogs."

"But what are they?" Frank repeats Hazel's question. "They look like... starving, shaggy cows with sheepdog hair."

"Maybe they're harmless," Leo muses. "They're ignoring the mortals."

"Harmless!" Hedge laughs. "Valdez, how many harmless monsters have we met? We should just aim the ballistae and see what happens!"

"Uh, no," Leo looks at Ara. "General?"

"We follow Hecate's instructions," she replies, eyeing the creatures with distrust. "Let's look for our given address, and hope they'll ignore us."

"I agree," Frank sighs, looking grumpy. "It's the only way we're going to track down the owner of that book."

Leo has the book under his arm but draws it out when Frank mentions it. The address the Kerkopes gave them is written in a Post-it. "La Casa Nera," the boy reads. "Calle Frezzeria."

"The Black House," Nico hums. "Calle Frezzeria is the street."

"That's what I said," Ara nods.

Nico raises a brow. "I thought you only knew how to catcall in Italian."

"Lily threw a dagger at me last time I did it and I figured it was time to learn for real."

"You speak Italian?" Frank blurts out, looking at them.

Nico glances at him with a scowl before continuing. "Frank and Ara are right. We have to find that address. The only way to do it is to walk the city. Venice is a maze. We'll have to risk the crowds and those... whatever they are."

"Did you just admit I'm right?" Ara smiles.

"Don't push it."

Thunder booms a little ahead and Jason scowls at the nearing storm. "Maybe I should stay on board. Lots of venti in that storm last night. If they decide to attack the ship again..."

"We had venti?" Ara asks in surprise. "I didn't hear it!"

"We noticed," Nico replies. "You snored the whole night, I wonder how Leo managed to—"

"You talk in your sleep," she interrupts him before he tells Hedge she slept in Leo's room. "I have recordings."

"What—"

Coach interrupts them. "Well, I'm out, too. If you softhearted cupcakes are going to stroll through Venice without even whacking those furry animals on the head, forget it. I don't like boring expeditions."

"It's okay, Coach." Leo smirks. "We still have to repair the foremast. Then I need your help in the engine room. I've got an idea for a new installation."

"Well..." Piper looks around. "Whoever goes should be good with animals. I, uh... I'll admit I'm not great with cows."

"Those aren't cows," Ara retorts. 

"I still pass."

"I'll go," Frank says.

Leo pats his shoulder and hands him the book. "Awesome. If you pass a hardware store, could you get me some two-by-fours and a gallon of tar?"

"Leo," Hazel scolds him, "it's not a shopping trip."

"I'll go with Frank," Nico declares.

"Uh..." Frank hesitates. "You're good with animals?"

The boy smirks. "Actually, most animals hate me. They can sense death. But there's something about this city... Lots of death. Restless spirits. If I go, I may be able to keep them at bay. Besides, as you noticed, I speak Italian."

Leo hesitates. "Lots of death, huh? Personally, I'm trying to avoid lots of death, but you guys have fun!"

"I'll go too," Ara places a hand on Frank's shoulder and senses his anxiety. "I'm good with animals. Hellhounds and Nemean lions love me."

"What about the repairs?" Leo asks, suddenly not as amused as before. "The new installation? I wanted to teach you how to do it!"

"I'll be back soon," she assures him. "If you wait for me, you can still show me."

Ara wants to keep an eye on Nico. She can't afford to lose him, Lily would kill her. She knows how to look after him now, so that's what she'll do.

"I'll go too," Hazel says right after. "So I can stop you two from killing each other."

Nico and Ara share a look. They can't act offended, that could easily happen if they're left unsupervised. 

"All right, then," Nico turns around. "Let's go find the owner of that book." 

At some point during their walk, Nico speaks to her quietly. "Lily would've loved coming here."

"Don't remind me," Ara makes a face.

"You're too quiet about her," he points out. "You guys fought? I know Lily was against you leaving..."

"The argument was because of you, actually."

"What?"

Hazel stumbles on a cobblestone and Frank catches her, but the movement makes the cow-dogs around look up and growl. Their gazes make Ara feel sick, and she has to avert hers. 

"What are they?" It's her turn to ask with concern.

"Nice cows," Frank steps forward to protect the group. "Guys, I'm thinking we should back out of here slowly."

"I'm such a klutz," Hazel winces. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," Nico points at the ground. "Look at your feet."

Ara and Nico move back in unison, and the roots try to follow their feet as they go. The plants are smelly, and the cow-dogs seem to like them a little too much, because the more they move, the more they pay attention to them.

"These roots seem to like demigods," Frank scowls.

Hazel reaches for her sword. "And the cow creatures like the roots."

"Don't touch it," Ara warns her. "They won't be nice if we tamper with their food."

"Don't meet their eyes either," Frank adds. "I'll distract them. You back up slowly toward that black house."

Ara frowns. "You're not staying here alone."

The plants speed up and reach their feet quickly, the creatures tense and growl. "Okay, change of plans," Frank says thinly. "Run!"

Nico and Hazel hurry to the Black House while Ara turns Almighty into a spear. Frank stands next to her screaming, seemingly trying to turn into some animal.

"No!" Frank screams at two creatures that leave the group to chase after their friends. "Me! I'm the rhino!"

"What?" Ara asks, striking one of the creatures.

"Nothing," Frank moves closer to her as the creatures encircle them. "I just... need to concentrate."

"If these were all Nemean lions, I'd have this in the bag," Ara sulks, and it gives Frank an idea.

"A lion," he says, looking up at the balcony of a nearby house.

He turns into a massive feline. Ara climbs on top of him and changes her spear to a bow and arrows, summoning Artemis's blessing. Frank jumps over the herd of monsters and as they go, Ara shoots at all the furry targets she spots in the area.

They get rid of most, but one jumps too close to Frank's face and releases a cloud of greenish fog. Ara holds her breath and moves away, but Frank is in killing mode, he roars and slashes through the creature and realizes his mistake too late.

"Frank! Frank!" Nico's screaming. 

Frank turns back into a human and Ara slips off his back. His face is reddish and he can't stop coughing. Ara searches in her Octopi bag and pulls out the piece of fabric she'd used while fighting the Kerkopes to cover her mouth and nose, then places Frank's arm around her shoulder.

"Hold your breath!" She tells him, lifting her bow.

"Ara c'mon!" Nico urges her, he's killed the cows that had tried to chase after him and Hazel.

Ara grabs three arrows and shoots to get rid of the remaining cow-dogs. When they get to the archway, she realizes Hazel is unconscious.

"She got a blast of green gas right in the face," Nico explains. "I—I wasn't fast enough."

"It's okay," Ara eases him, though she's also concerned.

"We need to get her back to the ship," Frank says hoarsely.

More cow monsters approach, and Nico shakes his head. "We'll never make it on foot. Frank, turn into a giant eagle. Don't worry about us. Get her back to the Argo II!"

"Sounds like a good plan," Ara agrees. "Maybe Hedge will know what to do."

"Your friends can't help you," says a voice behind them. "They don't know the cure."

There, in the Black House's entrance, is a man dressed in all denim. A god.

"Who are—"

"Can you cure her?" Frank interrupts her.

"Of course," the god grins. "But you'd better hurry inside. I think you've angered every katobleps in Venice." 

When they get Hazel on top of a table, Ara touches Frank's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he brushes off the question as well as her hand.

Ara's decided that she likes Frank because he's loyal and protective of the people he loves no matter what. He is Clarisse's brother through and through, a mellower version of her, which is nice, but just like her in all the good ways.

"What were those cow things?" Frank asks the god. "What did they do to her?"

"Katoblepones. Singular: katobleps. In English, it means down-looker. Called that because—"

"They're always looking down!" Nico hits his forehead. "Right. I remember reading about them."

Frank makes a face. "Now you remember?"

Nico looks slightly embarrassed as he explains. "I, uh... used to play this stupid card game when I was younger. Mythomagic. The katobleps was one of the monster cards."

"I played Mythomagic," Frank replies casually. "I never saw that card."

"It was in the Africanus Extreme expansion deck."

"Oh."

"Used to?" Ara raises a brow. "You still play with Lily when you visit us!"

"Shut up."

The god steps forward. "Are you done, ah, geeking out, as they say?"

"Right, sorry," Nico clears his throat. "Anyway, katoblepones have poison breath and a poison gaze. I thought they only lived in Africa."

"That's their native land," the man sighs. "They were accidentally imported to Venice hundreds of years ago. You've heard of Saint Mark?"

"Saints? They're not part of Greek mythology," Frank scowls.

"No, but Saint Mark is the patron saint of this city. He died in Egypt, oh, a long time ago. When the Venetians became powerful... well, the relics of saints were a big tourist attraction back in the Middle Ages. The Venetians decided to steal Saint Mark's remains and bring them to their big church of San Marco. They smuggled out his body in a barrel of pickled pig parts."

"That's... disgusting."

"That's religion," Ara corrects him.

"Yes," the god smiles. "The point is, you can't do something like that and not have consequences. The Venetians unintentionally smuggled something else out of Egypt—the katoblepones. They came here aboard that ship and have been breeding like rats ever since. They love the magical poison roots that grow here—swampy, foul-smelling plants that creep up from the canals. It makes their breath even more poisonous! Usually the monsters ignore mortals, but demigods... especially demigods who get in their way—"

"Got it," Frank interrupts him impatiently. "Can you cure her?"

"Possibly."

"Possibly?" Frank's eyes darken, and Ara sees the Ares in him. He reaches out and places his hand under Hazel's nose. "Nico, please tell me she's doing that death-trance thing, like you did in the bronze jar."

"I don't know if Hazel can do that," Nico winces. "Her dad is technically Pluto, not Hades, so—"

"Hades!" The unknown guy stumbles back. "So that's what I smell. Children of the Underworld? If I'd known that, I would never have let you in!"

"Hazel's a good person," Frank stands up straight. "You promised you would help her!"

"I did not promise."

"She's my sister," Nico seizes his sword. "I don't know who you are, but if you can cure her, you have to, or so help me by the River Styx—"

"Oh, blah, blah, blah!" The man turns Nico into a corn plant. "There! Children of Hades can't order me around! You should talk less and listen more. Now at least you have ears."

Ara laughs in delight, and then she stops. "Wait, I'm supposed to be looking after him," she looks at the god. "Turn him back!"

"No."

Frank steps back in alarm. "You're a god."

"Triptolemus." The man smiles. "My friends call me Trip, so don't call me that. And if you're another child of Hades—"

"Mars! Child of Mars!"

"Well... not much better. But perhaps you deserve to be something better than a corn plant. Sorghum? Sorghum is very nice."

"You don't wanna do that," Ara steps in. "Listen, mighty god of..." the girl looks around the room. "Farming. I'm Ara Jackson, my friends call me Birdy so you can't, and I'm the current daughter of Olympus. We found something that belongs to you."

Frank pulls out the old book from his backpack. "This is yours, right?"

"My almanac!" Triptolemus snatches the book out of the boy's grip and reads through its pages. "Oh, this is fabulous! Where did you find it?"

"Um, Bologna. There were these..." Ara gestures at him to shut up and Frank quickly redirects his speech. "Terrible monsters. We risked our lives, but Ara knew this was important to you. So could you maybe, you know, turn Nico back to normal and heal Hazel?"

"Hmm? Oh, heal them?" Triptolemus laughs. "I'm grateful for the book, of course. I can definitely let you go free, son of Mars. And I can't touch the daughter of Olympus, but I have a long-standing problem with Hades. After all, I owe my godly powers to Demeter!"

"You're holding onto a grudge that isn't even yours?" Ara scowls. "So what if he married Persephone? Even Demeter lives with him now!"

"It's a matter of principles," he shrugs. "When Demeter went searching for her daughter, scouring the whole earth, not many people would help her. Hecate lit her way at night with her torches. And I... well, when Demeter came to my part of Greece, I gave her a place to stay. I comforted her, gave her a meal, and offered my assistance. I didn't know she was a goddess at the time, but my good deed paid off. Later, Demeter rewarded me by making me a god of farming!"

"Wow," Frank states plainly. "Farming. Congratulations."

"I know! Pretty awesome, right? Anyway, Demeter never got along with Hades. So naturally, you know, I have to side with my patron goddess. Children of Hades—forget it! In fact, one of them—this Scythian king named Lynkos? When I tried to teach his countrymen about farming, he killed my right python!"

"Your... right python?"

The god shows them his broken chariot. "You see? No good! Ever since I lost my right python, I haven't been able to spread the word about farming—at least not in person. Now I have to resort to giving online courses."

"What?"

"Triptolemus Farming University!" He says, turning his computer to show them. "In just six weeks, you can get your bachelor's degree in the exciting and vibrant career of the future—farming!"

"If we fix your stupid chariot will you heal Hazel and turn Nico back into a real boy?" Ara asks.

Trip blinks and pauses. "Fix... my chariot?"

"Fool-proof deal. We help you, so you help our friends and Demeter can't get mad at you."

"You could even give us whatever aid you can to defeat Gaea's forces," Frank suggests quickly.

Triptolemus snorts. "What makes you think I can aid you with that?"

"Hecate told us so," Frank explains. "She sent us here. She—she decided Hazel is one of her favorites."

"Hecate?"

The god's reaction tells them all they need. Ara and Frank share a brief look before the boy continues. "The goddess guided us to your almanac in Bologna. She wanted us to return it to you, because... well, she must've known you had some knowledge that would help us get through the House of Hades in Epirus."

"Yes... I see. I know why Hecate sent you to me," the god eyes them reluctantly. "Very well, go find a way to fix my chariot. If you succeed, I will do all you ask. If not—"

"I know. Our friends die."

"Yes! And you'll make a lovely patch of sorghum!"

As they exit the Black House, Ara turns to Frank. "I have no idea of how to fix his chariot."

"What!" He looks over his shoulder and then talks under his breath. "Why did you say you'd fix it, then?!"

"Because I was spacing out and I wanted him to shut up!" Ara replies defensively. "And he wasn't going to help us out of the kindness of his heart."

"Hazel is running out of time—"

"So you better start brainstorming with me."

"I have a brainstorm in my head already," he slips to the floor, holding his head like it's hurting.

Ara crouches in front of him, placing a hand on his knee to feel his emotions. He's stressed, but most of all, he's furious. "Frank, what's wrong?"

"It's my dad," he locks eyes with her. "He wants me to kill all of you."

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh

[sadghoststudios]

STATE OF PLAY 12/23: a little news and updates roundup!

Howdy all! Squeaking in just before the new year, I thought now's as good a time as ever for a little roundup of anything you might have missed, and what we're currently working on! Aiming to do these quarterly from now on 🫡✨

If you wanna keep up with posts like this from us without relying on social media, you can also sub to our newsletter! Promise not to annoy you. Good emails only.

Recap and news under the cut!

2023 Roundup

DemiDato

We had two releases this year, but DemiDato was the big one! For those that don't know, this game spent a long 5+ years in and out of development hell, so it was a big relief to finally put everyone's hard work out into the world back in March.

We were also lucky enough to feature DD in the Queer Games & Queer Halloween bundles this year, so even if you haven't had a chance to grab the game outright, check your itch library - you might already own it!

As for the future of our monsters, a 1.1 update is still on the cards! The bulk of it is already complete - there's some script tidying and quality of life improvements already in the WIP build, as well as a fancy schmancy CG Gallery (which you can see a little preview of in the devlog I wrote). 

1.1 development has admittedly stalled a little, as I really want to implement some animated video transitions plus an animated intro and trailer into its final build, but it's been hard to find the time to teach myself a whole new skillset while also being in preproduction for our new title (more on that in a bit!). In my head for all the years of development, the game has always had a really cheesy reality show intro with horribl(y good) graphics, just like the real life shows that inspired it. So even if the feature didn't make it to 1.0, I still really want it to happen eventually. (Plus, when we do eventually rerelease on Steam, a trailer is very important for the store page! That means it counts as futureproofing, right...?)

If you want to hear some more about what the release was like, my dear friend Kaiju of Digital Diversity interviewed me right after the game came out! You can read the interview on Digital Diversity over here.

GrandNya

Our second game of the year was a short little nugget written for 2023's Josei Jam, and devved almost solo by timepatches (hi! that's me!)

It'd been a long time since I managed to get anything off the ground in a jam setting, and I still find it a little intimidating (it's really difficult for me to get new ideas & iterate on them fast enough to meet the start deadline and recruit others), so solo dev it was! My art is hardly intricate but it gets the story across, and I'm proud of the VN as a whole - whatever you think of 'wholesome games' as a movement, it's hard to deny that we all need a cosy space now and then, and that’s the kind of story I like to tell most. And it's not like GrandNya is all sunshine, either, which you'll know if you got to the end!

I also managed to apply to Hand-Eye Society's Super FESTival with GrandNya, and was somehow accepted, which I'm still pinching myself about! What a stellar lineup of games to share a page with.

Fest aside, it was a pretty quiet release all things considered, so don't worry if you missed it! Your grandmas are still there on our itch page anytime, to give you a lil’ pocket of safe queer story to live in whenever you need it.

Intoxicated

Now for something completely different!! Despite some prior medical commitments around the jam date (which then got moved, typical), I was VERY stoked to be able to hop on the team for Kristi HusbandoGoddess' Yuri Jam game, Intoxicated!

It was an absolute blast. Turtles were drawn in the group chat for reasons I can no longer remember. It singlehandedly made me decide that I want to do more jam work on others' teams, because I forgot how fun it can be working toward a common goal in a more relaxed environment! 

And the game turned out incredible. Check it out if you support women's wrongs! ♡

Plans for 2024

[Codename BAT 🦇] (the big otome/amare game)

Oh yeah. It's big.

I won't spill too much just yet, but just know that I've had this idea as a vague plot bunny in the back of my mind for years. Then, as my dear friend Charlie and I were on VC beta testing a late DemiDato build, it came up and they were so excited about the idea that I couldn't help but start seriously thinking about how to make it.

Well. That was in March. After I took a break and worked on GrandNya, I've been working ever since on building out the world (it's set in the same universe as the rest of our library, but deals a bit more with the actual ramifications of it all, so I had to set some things in stone I haven't before). More recently I've been building out the most coherent, easy-to-follow outline I can (not my strong point, and bless my beta readers for their support while I complain about it). 

Very soon I should be able to start writing! Terrifying! I can't wait. Once I'm a fair way into the script writing you'll get to hear about exactly what I'm cooking, and I think... you'll like where we're going.

[Other Redacted Thing]

Not my project so I won't spoil exactly what it is, but I get to do some UI work for an upcoming jam project and I am SO excited! I get to work with some very familiar faces again! You'll know what it is as soon as I'm allowed to tell you 👀

What I will say is that it shares a coincidental similarity with my long project...

That's it!! ✨

Thank you for reading all my waffle (being long winded is my special talent), and for sticking with us through the inevitable periods of radio silence! We're still just little fish in a very big pond, but every time someone plays something I made and feels some type of way, I remember what the point of all this is. 

It makes me very happy to be able to share stories with y'all. Here's to more in 2024!

♡ Madi Wander (@timepatches)

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

You need to be very careful Newbae

We know where you are in New Zealand, and we know where you are remember as it was us last time as you hide from us.

If I was you I would disappear and never come back as we tried before remember we have your details.

You have been so stupid to give your details to a group on LSA as they have given us the information from last time.

You think you are smart! Stop with the consipracy theories and playing the victim as you are next!

Hello anon

Thank you for yet another death threat

I won't be going anywhere but back to the police station, thanks

I'll be sharing the doxxing threats that got sent to Maddy about Sallyp2, Belle and Disneylover from the conversation between us back when her blog name was allgoodthingschrisevans right before I lost access to my old Tumblr account and she started going off on me, and then the messages to Maddy's account stopped coming once I kicked Publish out of my private group, screenshots included.

I'll also be sharing the altered screenshot of my old Instagram account that Publish sent to me via DM claiming she talked to TheLonesomeQueen about it and proceeded to tell me that the best day of my life will be when I realise the Teacher wasn't hacked, whatever that meant, weird thing to say given she was in the Teachers secret thread group and was one of the ones who tried very hard to convince me that she had done it to herself to get attention

The people on LSA that had my details are as follows:

Brighamsbabe (only my address) Garbagexo, Sallyp2, possibly Publish?

One other I will not mention as I do not believe they are involved

The scammer CandyLove in the discord chat knows too

Oh and "Edwin" if that's what his name is, the weird thing is he knew about Sally's selfie somehow? And yet he also knows it's PR? I wonder what else he knows, he told me if I felt threatened to go to my authorities, like I said to the hackers, anything happens to me it validates my claims, and you have NO IDEA of the paper and digital trail I have stored, and with who, or where

Oh and apparently Chris' team know who I am since someone in the discord chat actually knew Megan, is that you Gully?

Or is it the UTA guy Jer we're dealing with here?

Keep in mind I'm recording this publicly in case something does actually happen to me

Keep going and I'm talking to journalists because in case you hadn't noticed, I'm done with your shit

And yes I have the screenshots of that IG conversation with Edwin too, just as I do the one with Sallyp2

How about in the morning I send out a link to the discord chat Sallyp2 and Garbagexo were both in and everyone can read for themselves

The last time I hid was because of Garbagexo sending me my name prior to the scammers discord chat ever starting or before I ever went into it, so that little detail is duly noted

It's not like anyone is sticking up for me is it?

Hey @staff

Can you look into these messages please?

I need to post them as evidence to show the authorities but if you could look into where they are coming from I'd appreciate it as this is the second one from the same people in the space of a week

Thanks

💜🪽🌟

[anandasamsara]

Need to let shit out and as i can't afford therapy anymore, here's the place

I have no idea what to do anymore. Been playing with the idea of an onlyfans or selling feet pics, but i don't have the persistence for even that. Can't pick up any commission work bc i can't draw. Can't keep the print shop bc i can't afford materials. Im considering just selling all machinery to pay the bills.

Dad's only got 500brl from his payment this month, bc he borrowed money from the bank and it's eating up his whole salary. No, i have no idea where the supposed money he's borrowed went into. No idea where he spent enough money to cut his salary in fucking half, paying 144 installments of 1500brl.

We have to pay 1350brl for the apartment, about 250 for all phones, 180 for the internet, and thankfully this month only 56 for electricity but it might have been wrong and we might still get another bill with the right amount.

Outside of that, we need to eat, and i need to pay for my new phone that i only got bc the old one was about to explode, plus our credit card is blocked bc we don't have 5k to pay it right now. The credit card was being used exclusively to buy food.

I lost my job with the psychiatrist to her new computer, mom thankfully still has her first husband's pension, and dad gave us 500. So we have, collectively, about 2k if i give up my savings, and then next month we're back to about 1300brl, which doesn't even pay the apartment.

Dad has a job, a public job, from where he can't be legally fired. But he's on medical leave, so he can't work extra hours to earn more. I do understand the pressure and how tired he is after almost 30 years, but he's the only one who has a job. When I started working for the psychiatrist, he dumped all of the bills on me, but i was only making 300 per week and now I don't have this anymore. He's on medical leave bc he hates the school he teaches at, and got the leave with his psychiatrist. But if he needs to go back to work, he can't change schools bc no school will take a teacher on medical leave, so he doesn't want to go back. As i said, i do understand all of his psychological issues, but why do I have to ignore mine, which are also physical, to take whatever job, but he can't go back to the job he already has?? Isn't fucking survival first? We can't afford FOOD!

I have a medical leave check for myself to see if i can get into health security benefits in a couple weeks, but what if i can't? What if they look at me and say tough luck, deal with it? I haven't had an interview lined up yet, i went physically to places to give them my resume, but im either way under or too over qualified for literally every position i tried. Jobs that just require high school level won't hire me bc im graduated at university level, and places that require uni level also want me to have at least a mastery, or 5 years experience, or both.

I don't actually want to become a cam girl or whatever, I can't do the jobs i have the means to keep bc the means are gone, im too depressed to draw anything, I can't afford higher education and i have no drive right now,

I spent the last month in such a spiral of depression, bc i can't show that im depressed or my mom's depression will get worse. My best friends sent me money and im so embarrassed about it bc i shouldn't need this kind of help at all, and it was only enough to keep up for a month in the end. I can't bring myself to take any kind of whatever job, like at a store or supermarket or cleaning bc i won't survive the pain. I can feel my health declining, im in pain all the time, my bad foot has been acting up everyday and my ok foot is also annoying me.

I can't see much of any solution for anything. I became a burden, to my parents and to myself. To everyone. If i wasn't here, maybe it would be different. Easier. Cheaper.

[thesinglesjukebox]

TATE MCRAE - "IT'S OK I'M OK"

No, really, we're fine. We're FINE.

[4.69]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: She's on a world-conquering run as our least essential pop star -- the sounds here are big and confident, but everything else seems actively anti-hook; her delivery swallows up all her best lines, the frantic intonation on the hook less indicating a louche coolness and more sounding like she realized midway through she was slightly offbeat. At its best, this sounds like a demo for some more charismatic figure -- a remix could give this a purpose! [4]

Will Adams: Tate assures you she's fine, but the beat says otherwise. The gigantic drums recall the of crowded-ness of "Tipsy," the pecking synths recall the laser-focus of "Me & U." "It's ok, I'm ok" is, well, okay as mid-aughts throwback; it could've been better with some intelligible vocals. [5]

Alfred Soto: How you respond to this Ariana Grande-fied example of post-therapy pop will depend on your taste for Tate McRae's barely there squeak. She shows more panache in the video, where she moves like a practiced TikTok influencer. [6]

Harlan Talib Ockey: “It’s ok I’m ok” suffers from “Look What You Made Me Do” syndrome, where a strong, dramatic pre-chorus collapses into a repetitive chorus with far less energy. The lyrics do have an interesting premise, with McRae warning another woman about her useless ex, but the entire second verse could’ve used a line editor. Actually, the pre-chorus is the strongest part lyrically, too. And vocally, since McRae sounds like she’s struggling to keep up with some of the vocal runs in the verses. And production-wise, with its lightly menacing synth pads. In short, keep the pre-chorus, maybe rework everything else.  [4]

Taylor Alatorre: The title, with its double-talk defensiveness, reads less like a confident strut and more like a shaky reply to the new girlfriend's debatably sincere attempts at consolation ("sorry I took your man…?"), which puts a damper on whatever karmic power play is meant to be felt here. And if McRae doesn't want me reading that much into it, she should consider singing in a way that makes looking up her lyrics sheet feel less like uncovering the Rosetta Stone.  [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: This is beyond cursive singing -- it's like the paper's been soaked through and the cursive ink is running to the point that it's indecipherable. Every time someone tries to push the Tate McRae second-coming-of-Britney narrative that's been forced in waves over the past two-ish years, it's the closest we get to living in a real-life version of HBO's The Idol. Remember The Idol? I kinda miss The Idol.  [2]

Katherine St. Asaph: Extremely 2000 Max Martin in sound -- those synth stomps are vintage "It's Gonna Be Me" -- but not in structure; Cheiron-era Max would never have allowed the final chorus to dissolve into ether. I'd love to hear the song where she realizes she isn't ok and snaps. [7]

Jel Bugle: It’s very Britney! I don’t think Tate is going to trouble the upper echelons of pop with this one. It’s a pleasant enough bop, but somehow the title of the song describes everything perfectly (was this intentional?). I wanted to like this more, but there is nothing that hooky here. [6]

Dave Moore: Louie from the Pop Pantheon podcast went viral the other day pointing out that this sounds less like Britney Spears and more like Ashley Tisdale, but a seasoned mid-aughts C-list teenpop connoisseur could tell you this song would have gone to Vanessa Hudgens. And the shoe fits -- "basically what we're going to do is dance" is Tate McRae's whole thing! [5]

Aaron Bergstrom: Faithful "Me & U" homage over store-brand "Grindin'" drums, a perfectly fine idea for a pop song that doesn't seem to have moved beyond the idea phase. [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Is Ilya secretly on pgLang? Is this pgLang trying to make a play for the pop charts? Cuz it's well produced, slick too, but the main voice is so thin and childlike it doesn't register. pgLang could've just released the Bri Steves and Baby Keem song instead. [2]

Ian Mathers: Pre-COVID, for years, I used to do a lot of music trivia at bars. My team was pretty good! I've got a trophy from when we won the summer-long tournament run by the hardest one we went to. There's a fair amount of "name that tune from a snippet" type questions in those. This feels like one I would have a tremendously scoring any points on, even for artist. [5]

Mark Sinker: Don't care was made to care.  [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[dadddybangtan]

Metanoia | ch. four

cw: mentions of mvrder

word count: 1.4k

a.n. fluff

Back Table of Contents Next

The drive is long and he plays music of his taste. Old, cringey K-pop bullshit. Again, he radiates the energy of a party clown, not a druglord's vice. We race passed a sign that reads "Busan City Limits." The view is gorgeous, the prettiest landscape I've ever seen. Spacious, lively, youthful. Over run by drugs, of course, but in the fun, experimental way. Not the highly addicted, near death way like where I'm from, Gangbuk.

"Okay, Jimin, now that we're here we have to begin the first phase of your job."

I take a deep breath through the nose, still looking at the view. Such green trees and vibrant flowers. The sky is even clearer here.

"You were smart not to pack anything more than a backpack. We'll have to get you a new wardrobe anyway."

It's not that I was smart, it's that I simply have nothing to pack. But I'll take the compliment. Anything that can make me seem more competent can benefit me. The idea of a new wardrobe equally terrifies and intrigues me.

"And a haircut, jeez." He adds.

"Why?"

"We're gonna be undercover, staying in Daegu for a while. My plan is to get you as close to the target as possible. Close enough to kill," He explains, "And in order to do that. You have to look, well, like someone he'd keep close."

"Richer."

"Exactly."

I scoff. This is just like my risky job back home. Except the date doesn't get to wake up the next morning to all their shit gone. He doesn't get to wake up at all.

We pull up in front of a huge mall. He parks on the curb and I follow him to the entrance. Inside, I look up and around at the grandness of this place. It's spacious, yet boisterous. There's money pumping through this place and it shows. From the marble floor my worn out shoes slip on to the clean cream walls that store front pop off of.

"Stop looking like a tourist." Jin barks.

I fix my eyes forward and continue to follow him.

"You'll need a decent amount of casual wear and formal wear, mostly formal. Most of your mingling will be done at extravagant parties," He cuts a left into a mens suit emporium, "Five should be a good amount, yeah?"

"Uh," My eyes latch onto a particular suit, a dark blue velvet statement piece. It's breathtaking, "Yeah, whatever you say."

Jin comes to stand next to me and goggle at the suit as well.

"I don't expect you to know how tacky that really is."

I curl my lips at the dig. I don't let it get to me, he's supposed to make sure I don't look like an idiot. Perhaps, when the job is done, I'll buy it for myself.

"Then again," He adds, stepping closer and rubbing the back of his hand on the velvety material, "Its eye catching. Which will help you lure him."

He wriggled his two fingers in the air to call the tailor over.

"Add this one to the tab please. Size..." He trailed off, looking down at me, "Small."

"Will all the suits be small today, Mr. Kim?"

He nodded and started blindly picking the rest of the ensembles. Mostly black, some navy, but the one I'm most excited to wear is that velvet one. I'm sure if Tae saw me in that he'd swoon.

"Have them sent to my residence promptly." Jin said as he set his black card on the table and the man swiped it. The receipt ticked out of the machine and when Jin took it to sign, the total alarmed me. I've never seen a receipt with that many commas.

Jin starts to leave the store and I follow.

"Don't forget to give daddy some sugar." The tailor remarked with a low chuckle.

My skin boiled with anger. He thinks i'm some sugar baby. I've never been and I never will be some accessory for a rich man.

"Excuse me," I say, turning around and interrogating the young man, "What the fuck did you say to me?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing." He snickered again.

Jin grabbed my arm and pulled me with him. I gave the man one last clawing glare before I turned around completely.

"Don't take shit like that personally."

"But I'm not a fucking sugar baby."

He stops us in the middle of the mall. He looks straight into my eyes with a calm intensity. His eyes serious and my mouth parted.

"I know that. You know that too. Don't you?"

I nod under his gaze.

"Then why does it matter if some suit seller knows it?"

"It- Well it doesn't."

"That's right. Do you know his name."

I shake my head.

"Right. And do you care to know his name?"

I shake my head again.

"Good. He doesn't even know your name. He knows that mine was engraved in a black card and I was paying for you," He said with a grin, "He's just jealous. So don't let it get to you, okay?"

I don't say anything else. We browse some more stores and I pick out the casual clothes he was talking about. I end up walking out with six shopping bags, Jin holding a bag of shoes. We gather in the car again and he takes me to a hair salon nearby.

"Let me do the talking." Jin insists as he opens the door to the salon.

"Seokjinnie," A woman says as soon as we walk in, "And guest? How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you, Jessi. This is Jimin by the way."

"I'm assuming the cut is for Jimin here? You got yours done last week and you still look fresh."

"Yep, just make it neat. Clean up the edges and sharpen up the undercut." Jin orders.

Jessi hums, leading me into a chair. She puts a smock around me and rests her manicured hands on my shoulders. Despite her dolled up appearance, from the pouty lips, bright pink nails and flawless makeup, she seems very welcoming. Like someone everyone comes to for advice.

"I think we should lighten your hair. What do you think," She asks, playing with the long strands that fall over my face, "I mean black is nice but your skin tone is begging for a platinum blond."

I gasp. I've never bleached my hair before. I've never even considered going blond.

"God, Jessi, no. Just the cut will do."

"Jin, I don't know who this boy is. I don't know why he's here. I don't know anything. All I know is what will look good," She says, turning around and pulling out a bottle of bleach, "And I know that you trust me."

Jin rolls his eyes and takes a seat on the waiting chairs.

"Do what you will." He settles.

After about three hours of coloring and cutting  the reveal awaits me. Jessi is dramatically slow with it, edging me with anticipation.

"Honey, I swear it to you, you never looked better. You're a lady killer, Jimmy." She says.

She twists the chair to the vanity and I finally see myself. Yet I don't look like myself at all.

"Oh my god." I mutter.

My jaw line somehow looks more prominent. I knew I was decently attractive before, but now I feel sexy. Unbelievably sexy.

"You look good, kid," Seokjin comes up and puts his hand on my shoulder, "Now let's get going."

Jessi takes off the smock and meets Seokjin at the counter.

"I'm not used to you bringing in project boys." She says, typing up the receipt.

"He's not a project boy, he's my partner."

"In crime? Lord knows you're too difficult to love someone in your jurisdiction."

That statement interests me, yet I can't pin down what it means exactly. Jin takes out his card and hands it to her comfortably.

"Watch it, Jessi." He says darkly in a way that scares me more than her.

"Alright alright, I won't pry," She says, swiping the card and giving it back to Jin, "It was fun working with you, Jimin."

"Thank you." I said bashfully. Though I'm sure she doesn't mean to, she comes off more flirty than I can handle. I don't hate it. I think I just get shy because it conflicts with my sexuality.

Getting back into Jin's car, I can't stop myself from pulling down the sun shade and flipping the mirror. I'm not obsessing over myself, I just can't believe I look so good.

"Alright, we're going back to my place to get ready for the dinner. Think business casual. Heavy on the casual."

"Got it." I say, taking in one last look of myself before closing the mirror. I bite back a smirk and lean back into the seat.

[underturnedapplecart]

My Grandfather, Terry, was one of the pastors of the church! His church had fun music, and he hugged and kissed everyone that approached him. Without discrimination. Grandpa's church was awesome. Words projected on the screen, and people danced and harmonized and it was FUN. They had a live rock band every week! No one left Parkway church in a "down mood." Grandpa was personable, and positive, and warm. His favorite song was titled, "When we all get to heaven." He had this idea: Jesus said, throw out all the rules, we ALL go to heaven. Come to church, and Pastor Terry will tell you why you deserve a spot in heaven. No rules, no requirements. There's a spot for you. That was Jesus's thing: There's a spot for you in heaven, so stop worrying about it. Celebrate that heaven is there, so you can live life freely! Jesus said it: EVERYONE belongs in heaven now. End of story! Really, the rest is just fluff. It's fluff!

Naturally, preaching radical acceptance, brotherhood, and love for all was challenging to an audience. He (Pastor Terry) was voted out of his church by the ownership, but the congregation revolted and insisted he stay. He finished out a few more years, but I moved away and I don't know how the story ends. He passed away in the past few years, only slightly grumpier than he started. I returned to the church recently…the pastor never met Pastor Terry, but knew his name and seemed to appreciate my visit.

Thanks to him, I carry unwavering acceptance of everyone. We all have a spot in heaven. Do you want it? Just like…be nice. Jesus took care of the details, you just have to be nice. Use whatever explanation you need, just be nice to each other. That's all my grandfather wanted, to hug and kiss everyone and tell them they have a spot in Heaven. Whatever you call your afterlife, your heaven - there's a spot for you. It's reserved. Have a hug and a forehead kiss, and go be the heavenly being you are. :)

I still live this way. When a cocaine-panicked colleague showed up at my door on New Year's Eve, Pastor Ryan took over, gave her hugs and told her that she still has a spot in heaven. Even on cocaine. Even when their husband kicks them out. Even when their kids are scared. We're going to be better people, and we have a space in heaven, so it always gets better. Nothing you do keeps you from heaven.

It doesn't matter what we think of our opponents or our friends. We have to stand next to them in heaven anyway. Let's be nice to each other, and do the best we can.

Just like BeFOUUUUUUUUUR

As a baby, I was born on an Air Force base where my dad was deployed. Shortly afterward, he was sent to Diyabakir, Turkey for one year to do "SatCom." This deployment labelled him a "Combat Veteran." He didn't seem to understand that "Overseas deployment" makes you a combat veteran, despite his lack of weaponery and survival training. He had stories about Turkey:

Getting Turkish cigarettes from the convenience store. He would imitate his Turkish convenience-store clerk friend.

Playing the recorder, alone, for several hours in a computer room. And maybe others that I can't remember. He had a copper plaque to indicate his deployment in Turkey.

Mom lived with her parents in Florida for that year while my dad was deployed in Turkey. I know nothing of this time; I just know those mementos were in Florida for many years. I didn't look at them much.

When he returned from Turkey, My Dad and Mom moved (Dad was deployed to) Sunnyvale, California. I lived there as my parents divorced; I have only scattered memories of that time. My childhood friend, using Prodigy Dial-Up and BBSes, or playing in the community spaces. I saw Nightmare on Elm Street at the babysitter's. I also tried strap on rollerskates.

I couldn't have been more than four when my Dad moved from California to Florida with me. My Dad had full custody, and there were countless mementos to "Merry Christmas - Ryan - 1989" Silly the elf, a treasured stuffy with a loose nose, had something like that written in magic marker on his apron. There were photos of me in my Halloween costume, too, as a Dragon. I don't really remember the transition - in my mind, from my inception, I lived with my Dad's parents, sharing a room with my Dad. My mom's parents lived next door, and I saw them every Sunday for church and lunch.

My Mom lived in San Jose, CA all my life. I only saw her for six weeks every summer, probably a sort of mandated visitation. I flew from Florida to California every year. I was very comfortable in airports from a very young age, which might explain my ease in traveling now.

Guys I just asked for space and privacy and GOT IT, Holy shnap!

Anyway…can't celebrate that long. But. I think I might sit hungry for a little longer, to enjoy that hard-earned privacy.

I married two women friends of mine in the same way: They wanted a pastor to conduct a service that loved and cherished these people and this bond. Why didn't the government want them married? I don't know. They're still important, valuable people, and they have a spot in heaven.

[olderthannetfic]

I like algorithms. There I said it. I don't have enough friends for me to get anything new if not my algorithm. 90% of my music? Spotify harvested my date just right and showed me cool stuff. The anime I watch? My free websites saw that I liked crying. Half of my taste is because the robot overlords saw that I liked something and gave me more. I wouldn't want an algorithm on AO3, simply because it defeats AO3s core use to me. It's an archive not a social media and I use it as such.

I'm young so I know nothing else. I wasn't there when the internet was in its infancy and you found stuff through word of mouth. The thought of being a lonely, friendless person like me and trying to find new shit is unfathomable. What friends are going to recommend stuff to me if I don't have any??? The idea that I like algorithms because I'm a corporate shill and not because I think they could be amazing tools if used right is crazy.

--

To answer your actual question, many people weren't relying on friends. They were relying on reccers.

By that I mean bloggers who blogged about their movie/music/fic/whatever recommendations. Or that one clerk at the [whatever] store who knew all about everything.

When we talk about recs and ye olden times, we're not talking about friends casually dropping a rec in your group chat. We're not talking about friends at all.

[wheelcr]

hiii how are you? can you talk more about finn in ur actress dr? like what does he do in his free time or what you usually do together? I'm sooo in love with him♡

-🧚

hii nonie! i'm doing good! a lil sleepy ngl but i'm fine. also!! i can totally understand why you're in love w bambi jdhdjd i am too </3

generally, i know finn listens to music a lot. everytime i go on discord his spotify status is always displaying some country or rock song from the 80's, even when we're together he always just has to have his earphones in or he goes like batshit and starts getting really anxious hshdn

he also likes to play basketball and skate! yes, he's tried to do both at the same time on several occasions. he once facetimed me to show off him and his roommate at a basketball court, tried to shoot a hoop from behind him and just completely embarrassed himself in front of me, i was screen recording and obv i posted it to twitter ( with his consent ofc )

i know that he's a huge music geek. he's always on his guitar, always mixing stuff on his little interface thingy which is too intimidating and complicated for me to even try and understand. most of the time when he leaves his laptop on when we hang out i just see like a music editor or like google docs w notes and lyrics open, sometimes it concerns me bc hello?? do you even sleep???

lesser known fact about finn, he loves window - shopping. whether it be online or like in malls in the city, i know from his mom that he's always looking at stuff but never buys anything

and when he's not doing any of those things he's either reading some vintage comic book or some teen romance / coming of age novel, writing movie plots and dumping his ideas in his little notebook, or playing whatever videogame is popular at the time

most of the time when we hang out it's with the rest of his friends, which, as you know, consists of a bunch of loud mf vloggers and content creators so we're just listening to them banter and do goofy stuff with their dry ass humor, often having the camera shoved in our face once or twice so they can get extra views

though during the times when it's me knocking at his apartment door at 12 in the morning, or like us hanging out on facetime or on discord, we actually just sit in silence, a super comfy silence

when we have the energy to go out and actually make plans with each other, it's mostly going to watch a movie in cinemas or just on his couch, or to the mall to try and beat every kid's ass at the arcade and bag ourselves a few new plushies, which he always ends up giving to me even though he won them fair n square

whenever we go to the mall we always always have to stop for frozen yogurt, it's literally a requirement for whenever we go out. we cannot go home unless we get frozen yogurt

i always end up with like a keepsake when i hang out with him. especially if i'm visiting him after months and months of being busy with our own projects, i always go home with like a new headband or a new plushie or a new keychain

finn's love languages are definitely touch and gift - giving. him randomly handing me something, even if it's like a cheap box of chocolate from the convenience store, it's like his own little way of going 'i missed you' and it makes me smile so fucking much it hurts

anyways— other than that we're normally just dancing like idiots in our room to taylor swift or some old music, or yelling each other's ear off trying to get mvp in call of duty, or filming stupid shorts that will either never get released to the public, or are posted on my personal tiktok account that only dedicated fans will find ksjsks

[lowkeyerror]

All I Want Is You

Cheryl Blossom x Reader

Word Count: 1601

Warning: Fluffy as can be

Masterlist

Being Cheryl Blossom's girl meant that you were absolutely spoiled. The redhead often showed love through gift giving. You tried to tell her that she didn't have to get you anything and that being with her was enough, but that only made her get you more things.

She had given you enough presents during January through November to celebrate Christmas three times over. However, the most wonderful time of the year only spurred her on.

" Cheryl, it's not even Christmas yet," you spoke, admiring the brand-new Nikon camera in your hands.

" You don't like it. I was going to get the Cannon but-"

You pecked her lips," I love it and I love you, but you spoil me."

Her arms looped around your waist," What's wrong with that? I think you deserve so much more than this."

You felt yourself blushing," I just don't want you to think I'm only with you because you buy me nice things."

" Nothing is further from the truth. Just let me spoil you, my love. I'm doing this out of my own volition," she placed a kiss on your cheek.

" How can I repay you?" You spun around so that you faced the redhead.

" I have a couple of ideas," she pulled you into a kiss.

Her lips move delicately against yours while her palms dig into your waist. She's always careful when she first initiates a kiss. It's almost like she's forgotten that you've done it a million times. She gives you leeway to stop the kiss if you'd like. You don't, instead you wrap your legs around her waist. Her reaction time is perfect as she grips the back of your thighs.

You tug on her bottom lip with your teeth, causing her to groan, breaking the kiss. Her breath is shallow when her eyes meet yours.

" If we keep going, we won't do any of the cute Christmas activities I planned for us"

You kissed her nose before removing yourself from her arms," We'll continue this later"

" Whatever you want, princess"

You blushed at the name and followed Cheryl into the kitchen. The two of you had baked together many times, and that's what you assumed Cheryl had planned for you two. However, that wasn't the case this time.

" We're making gingerbread houses," she pulled out three store bought kits along with some other supplies.

" Why three?"

" Well, I figured we each make one and build the last one together," she said as if it was self-explanatory.

You smiled at her," So you want to build a home with me?"

Her eyes were shining as looked at you," You're the only one I'd ever build a home with. Gingerbread or other"

You gave her a quick kiss before starting on your house. There was no trash talk between the two of you because you already knew Cheryl's would be a masterpiece while yours would look like a child made it.

Before you could really even begin decorating, frustration was building inside you. The walls of your house kept falling down.

" Baby, help me," Cheryl was already decorating her structurally sound home when you asked for her assistance.

Cheryl chuckled at the mess of icing around your house. She stood behind you with her hands taking yours. She guided your hands to fit the pieces perfectly.

" I think the problem was that you were using the back as the side. This should pretty well," Cheryl bit her lip as she let go of your hands to observe the house.

" My hero," you swooned at your girlfriend.

She shook her head with a grin on her lips, before returning to her own house. You, admittedly, weren't working that hard on your gingerbread house. You had placed a few gumdrops, candy canes, marshmallows, and called it finished.

Cheryl was working diligently on her home. You watched as she delicately piped intricate icing designs all around her house. Her tongue poked out of her mouth as she zoned in on certain spots. You honestly loved watching her work. Her attention to detail was one of your favorite things about her.

" Are you going to just watch me, or were you planning on finishing yours?"

You pretend to be taken aback by her words," What ever do you mean? My house has been completed for quite some time now"

Cheryl glances over at your creation and then at you," Are you sure it's done?"

" Yes, if I'm being completely honest, I'm not really interested in my own. I really just want to build one with you," that caused Cheryl to stop decorating her own beautiful gingerbread house.

" Well if that's the case then I think mine is pretty done too"

" Are you sure? I don't mind watching you finish."

" I know you don't mind, my love, but I think you're right. I'd rather start on ours"

Cheryl put the foundation of the third house together and started piping the designs. You focused on the candy placement. Cheryl left little dots of icing everywhere she thought you should put a decoration, and you obliged.

When it was done, you both had large smiles on your face," It's perfect"

" Wait, it's missing one thing," you opened the fridge and took out a jar of cherries.

You plucked one out of the jar and placed it on the roof," Now it's perfect"

" I think this is the best gingerbread house I've ever made," Cheryl stated, beaming down at you.

" You're only saying that because I helped," you argued.

Cheryl shrugged," What can I say, you make me better"

" Stop being so cute, or I'm going to have no choice but to kiss you right now."

" Oh no, a kiss from the woman I love. I could never survive such a cruel fate," Cheryl closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

You laughed at her theatrics but nonetheless placed a kiss on her lips," What's next on the agenda, Cherry?"

" Snow angels, cookies, then cuddles"

After disclosing her plan. The two of you set out to complete it. The first stop was Cheryl's large backyard that was covered in a substantial amount of snow.

" So, should we just jump in or-" you didn't get to finish your statement before Cheryl tried to push you into the snow. You grabbed her wrist on the way down and both of you ended up in the snow.

She was in a fit of giggles as she rolled off of you. You were also bashful as you laid back flat in the snow.

" You're so lucky I love you," it was breathy when it left your lips.

" What do you mean, my love? I was just helping you get into the snow angel position," she says coyly as she starts making angels in the snow.

You rolled your eyes, but still grabbed onto one of Cheryl's hands so that your angels would be connected. It was freezing outside, and you could already feel yourself sniffling. None of that mattered though, as long as you were with Cheryl there would be a warmth traveling through you.

After being outside for less than 20 minutes, you two called it quits. When you went back inside, you put the cookies in the oven and went upstairs to shower.

For the environment's sake, you showered together. Though it was hard to keep your hands to yourself, you managed after a few playful looks from the redhead.

When the shower was done, you changed into matching Christmas pajamas and went to check on the cookies. You had arrived just in time, and they were perfect when you pulled them out of the oven.

With the thought of a warm blanket tempting you, the cookies ended up piled high on a singular plate. You took them up to Cheryl's room and found a home on her dresser while you two cuddled up and watched Christmas movies.

" Baby, I have one more gift for you"

You looked at her incredulously," Cheryl, if it requires moving out of the bed it can wait until tomorrow"

Cheryl placed a kiss on your forehead," Just keep your eyes closed until I say so."

You reluctantly closed your eyes and as soon as you did you felt the bed shift. There was a lot of shuffling and rustling that made you want to peek, but you preserved.

" Okay open your eyes"

When you did, your jaw immediately went slack. Your eyes felt like they were going to pop out of your head. Your heart beat intensified as you looked at Cheryl's appearance.

She was wearing a scantily clad Christmas lingerie set. It barely sufficed as coverage for anything. Your eyes were drawn to the lace bottoms that had mistletoe right above… well, you know where.

" What do you think?"

" I think this is the best gift you've ever given me."

A blush coated Cheryl's cheeks," We've done things like this before"

You shook your head and got out of the bed. You let her hands start roaming her waist. They climbed all the way up her sides before resting on her face," The only thing I've ever needed you to give me was you. I love you"

She kissed you before you could turn it into another speech," I love you too, and I think it's time for you to unwrap your gift"

At that moment there were only two thoughts swirling around your head. The first being that you loved Cheryl more than you had loved anyone else in the world. The second was that Christmas was your new favorite time of the year.

[chucksfavouriteprophet]

The Girl Can Bite Too, You Know - Part 1

Dean Winchester x (Female) Reader

Summary: While trying to keep your business afloat, you get caught in the crossfire of a Winchester hunt and have no choice but to get involved. Much to Dean's enjoyment, you're a feisty one with no intention of letting the monsters get the better of you. Thus starts a whole new opportunity for adventure.

A/N: I'm intending on making this a series, but I've no idea how long it's gonna be just yet. We're just rolling with whatever comes along.

Warnings: Show themed violence and thats about it for this part

Word count: 2,005

The bar should’ve been empty by now - closing time was over an hour ago and it was only a Tuesday night. But the group of road workers had arrived late, and clearly they’d had a tough day and needed a drink. Their faces were pink and leathery from the raging Texas sun and the collars of their hi-vis uniform caked in sweat. It had been a slow evening, so you’d taken the executive decision to send the other bar workers home on time and stay to clean up on your own. Besides, it wasn’t like you had anything better to do.

By the time you’d cleaned each table twice, washed and polished all the glasses, and re-wrote the specials on the board, it was gone 3am. The boys didn’t look like they planned on going anywhere.

“A’rite folks, times up. I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to ask you to finish up and move along now.” You gave them a wink from across the bar, hoping not to dampen their moods. The last thing you needed was three rowdy lads messing up your pride and joy. They grunted, one raising his glass towards you in recognition. But 15 minutes later, they were still there, glasses empty now. Swearing under your breath, you walked towards them, cleaning a glass with the apron tied around your waist just in case.

“C’mon guys, I’ve let you stay on later than I ought. Now make a move, please, yeah?” They grunted again, not looking up at you. Great. “Hey, you heard me. Times up. Don’t make me ask again.” You were smiling through gritted teeth now.

“Alright bitch, we heard you the first time.” The one closest to you, with his back against your front, muttered. Nope. You weren’t having that.

“What did you just say?” The anger was clear in your voice now. “Don’t you use language like that to me, in my bar. Now clear out, the lot of you.” You shook your head, staring down at them furiously. The boys chuckled, and the chunkiest of the three stood up slowly to face you.

“Last time I checked, this was a free county ma’am. So me and my fellas are gonna stay here until we’re done. Now, run along and fix us some more beer won’t you, doll?”

Your nostrils flared as you burned holes in his eyes. Seriously, did he think you would be intimated? As if you hadn’t dealt with a thousand misogynistic men like this before?

“Last time. You three. Take your dirty mouths and get out my bar.”

You were met once again by an ugly laugh and he drew closer to you, his peanut breath wafting. By now, his two mates had stepped up behind him. The chunky guy stepped forward, forcing you to stumble back into the bar. Shit.

“Sir, step away from me now.” You hissed but he didn’t budge. His hand came up to wrap around your waist as you took advantage of the moment, swinging the glass you had tucked under your apron round the back of his head. It shattered instantaneously as it met with his thick skull, shocking him into a flinch. Without hesitation, you lent back against the bar, swinging your legs over the top of your head to roll back behind the protection of the barrier. Landing in a crouch, you grabbed the bat you stored under the till just as you were ripped off your feet by the shorter of the three guys. He shoved you up against the back of the bar, sending bottles crashing down onto your head.

"Big mistake, pretty girl," he grinned, flinging a fist straight into your face. Keeping you pinned up, you grimaced through the pain, squeezing your eyes shut to hold the dizziness as you swung the bat blindly but pleased to feel the connection with a solid forearm. These guys clearly fancied themselves tough, but they had zero awareness for what was going on around them. Despite being outnumbered and out-weighted, it was easy for you to gain the upper hand, springing from his grasp as he cried out in pain and sprinting to the other end of the bar towards the giant frame taking prime position opposite the main door. You knocked it aside, using it to hurl towards the third man now making his way towards you, managing to buy you just enough time to access the safe hidden behind it.

"FREEZE, NOW!" You spun round to face them, panting as you pointed the gun straight at them. The one closest to you, the youngest, skidded to a halt and glanced back at his buddies. The one behind the bar held his broken arm close to his chest, while the chunky one was still trying to shake the glass off his head. Watching them now, you knew a firearm was out of their league. They had never expected you to fight back, and they didn't have the skills to push you further. They were just trying their luck, attempting to assert their manliness. At the sight of the gun, the older guys nodded at the younger, who turned back to you with the look of disappointment having been motioned to stand down by his elders.

"We'll be back, sweetheart. Don't miss us too much," he winked, sending shivers down your spine. More shivers of embarrassment than fear, though. Poor lad had probably never even kissed a girl. And probably never would, unless he worked on that wink.

They shifted out the bar, making a point to slam the door after them. You sighed, making sure to put the safety back on the shotgun and place it neatly back in the safe, checking over the portrait before hanging it back up. "Cheers for always having my back, Dad," you sighed up at him as you dusted a few pieces of dust off the canvas.

-

It was late, or rather early, but neither Sam or Dean were tired. Adrenaline was pumping - now they'd figured what the werewolves looked like, they were raring to go put them down. The Impala swung into the dusty gravel car park outside the bar, pulling up sharply under the neon sign.

"Y/N's Bar, huh? Well, let's see if she's in eh, Sammy?" Dean grinned as his brother as he climbed out, narrowly avoiding Sam's rolling eyes.

"Dean, it's gone 3am. This place is closed for sure. Look, we're the only car here." But Dean just shook his head.

"Nope, there's a light on in there. Someone's up for sure." They tucked their guns into their waistbands as Dean pushed the door open, knocking the little bell above making it chime. Sam was right - the place was empty, except for the girl sat up on the bar, ice pack held to her head, a bottle of Jack in front of her.

"Seriously? That gun is still loaded dumbasses. Now clear off before I have to use it!" She yelled, head down still. The Winchesters exchanged a confused glance at one another.

"Woah there sweetheart, think we may have skipped the introductions," Dean crept forward slightly with his arms up and the girl looked up quickly at the sound of his voice. For a second she looked scared, before her face relaxed significantly into annoyance.

"Sorry, thought you were someone else. Look guys, I'm closed, can't you see that? I ain't serving anyone tonight." She slid off the bar, running a hand through her Y/H/C locks and popping the lid back on the Jack.

"We-we just have some questions, if that's alright?" Sam reached into his pocket and flipped open the leather bound FBI wallet belonging to one 'Agent Slovak' while Dean followed suit, flashing that of 'Agent Kiedis'.

"Fine," she dismissed them, not evening bothering to take a closer look at the badges. Waving an arm, she gestured for the brothers to sit while she walked round the bar, grabbing a few glasses. "I hope it's not against the job to have a drink. I've had a hell of a night, so you can't say no." They nodded, accepting gracefully.

"Yeah, you alright there?" Dean nodded towards her busted lip and the black eye that was already starting to show. She snorted, throwing the ice pack down in favour of a shot of whisky.

"Usual business. Nothing I can't take care of myself." She lent forward on the bar and Dean couldn't help but glance down at her tanned breasts pushed in by the black lace that peaked out of her grey tank top. Sam cleared his throat, nudging his brother out of his trance and Dean grumbled.

"So you're Y/N?" The younger Winchester questioned. She nodded.

"Yeah, this is my place. I'm not a total narcissist though, I didn't name the joint after myself. It was my old man's first, I just took it over when he died." She took another shot, wincing slightly as the liquor burned the cut on her lip.

"That him?" Dean pointed at the huge oil painting hanging on the wall behind them. It took up most the shelf in it's outlandish gold frame and was hard to miss. Y/N grinned, pushing two shots towards the boys in an act of encouragement which Dean gratefully accepted, Sam following with only mild hesitation this time.

"Yeah, I painted it when I was in high school, part of a stupid project about heroes or something. It was supposed to be a bit of a joke, but he loved it, put it on display for everyone who came in to see. I was humiliated at the time, but now it's a nice reminder of why I keep this place running when things get tough."

"It's nice," Sam shrugged. "You've got talent." Y/N laughed back at him.

"Nah, it's nothing proper. This joint is my baby now. Although I kinda wanna get her closed and head to bed, so if you guys have any actual FBI questions, now might be a good time to start shooting them." She grinned up and Sam nodded sheepishly while Dean cleared his throat.

"Well, my partner and I are looking for a group of guys. A family, mixed ages. We don't know how many, probably five or six of them. Tradesmen or road workers, something like that. We're wondering if they've come in at all. Would have been wearing uniform, probably workman clothes, hard hats, that kinda thing." Dean straightened his tie and concentrated on keeping his eyes up as he spoke to Y/N. That was easier said than done as she turned round and bent down to restock a shelf, her low waisted jeans dropping down a bit and her tank riding up.

"Why, what they done? Re-laid a road wrong or something? Painted the lines wonky?" She tilted her head teasingly.

"Something...something a bit more serious." Sam croaked out, giving Dean a side eye. "If you could help us that would be gratefully appreciated, then we'll be out of your hair."

She sighed, slouching against the bar. "Well I haven't seen a whole family, but I've seen three of them. Young guys, kids really. I shouldn't have served them but I guessed they'd had a long day and, well, this is Texas. Didn't we all drink before we were legal?"

The brothers nodded, Dean perhaps more so than Sam.

"Anyway, it was late, past close and I asked them to leave. They got rowdy, I don't know, maybe they were bored, didn't wanna go back home to their folks. We had a little scrap I suppose, hence the busted face. But like I said, nothing I can't handle."

Dean glanced at Sam and met his worried gaze, both vividly aware of how lucky Y/N had been to get away with just a scratch. "When did they leave?" Sam questioned.

Y/N shrugged. "Just before you got here, maybe ten minutes or so? That's who I assumed you were when you came in. I supposed they'd be back."

| Part 2 |

[randomshyperson]

Palm Springs - Leigh Shaw

All Works Masterlist

Summary: In Palm Springs, Leigh meets you. The season one finale re-imagined.

Warnings: (+18), smut, cursing, dom!reader, bottom!leigh, explicit language, explicit consent, brief mentions of harassment, fluff, brief rivalry dynamics, hopeful ending.

Words: 5.378K

Notes: My love, @abimess, this is my apologies for you. I kept mistaken "Wanda" instead of "Leigh" at some points in the writing, but it all worked out in the end. I hope you all enjoy the read, this is my first time writing for this character.

//-//

You threw the signed divorce papers against the passenger seat, ignoring the thick tears that welled up in your eyes.

Raising your hand, you turned up the radio and kept driving. Your cell phone started ringing the next moment, but you ignored it. It was probably Bucky or Steve calling to find out where you were after your little outburst at the company fundraiser.

Honestly, it wasn't your fault. You were handling it all very well, but Carol decided it would be a good idea to give you the divorce papers while you were surrounded by your closest friends, and that was the trigger. But now you were driving to Palm Springs, finally taking the damn vacation your ex-wife had put you through so much hell to get, but now, the seat next to you was empty.

It took a few hours to get there, since the complex is in New York, but you didn't care, having spent most of the way trying to understand how you managed to lose a woman like Carol Danvers.

No bags, you ignored the curious look one of the hotel staff gave you as soon as you pulled into the parking lot, smiling slightly as you took off your sunglasses and asked for directions to the front desk.

You frowned slightly as you were almost run over.

"Watch where you're going!" You shouted angrily at the driver, and the woman returned you the same angry look. Great, you've barely arrived and you almost died. This weekend was promising.

Stepping back, you waited for the woman to drive, not failing to give her a wry smile as she passed you. After this, you walked to the reception desk, and the area was quite full, which was normal for a weekend.

"Reservation in the name Danvers." You said to the receptionist after the greetings. He smiled as he checked the information.

"Valentine's suite, I see." He commented cheerfully. "Shall I prepare a second key for your partner?"

"It's just going to be me, buddy." You grumble, ignoring the uneasy feeling in your stomach. The man smiles awkwardly, but doesn't apologize.

After checking in, you go up to the third floor.

The room makes you sigh with disgust, the flowers and chocolates give you a headache. It takes ten minutes to find a chambermaid and ask her to remove all the decorations.

While your room is being cleaned, you decide to buy something to wear, since you didn't bring anything to spend the weekend at the hotel.

"Good morning." You mumble the greeting as you enter the gift store, your gaze wandering around.

"How can I help you, dear?" The saleswoman asks politely, smiling at you.

"I need something to wear for the two days I'm staying. It was a last-minute trip." You tell her, and the saleswoman looks surprised, but doesn't comment.

The woman eventually showed you the summer shirt section, and you sighed softly as you looked through the options. She walked away to attend to another customer, and you left your attention to the clothes.

A moment later, you picked out a few pieces and turned to talk to the saleswoman, only to run into the woman who had almost run you over earlier looking at the book section.

"You again." You let it slip not so low, attracting the woman's attention. She frowns for a second, and then she recognizes you. But before she can say anything, the saleswoman is speaking.

"Oh, you two know each other already?" She asks excitedly. "It's amazing how we can find friends here in Palm Springs isn't it?"

"We're not friends." You both inform at the same moment, and you squeeze your eyes shut slightly. The woman straightens her posture, pressing the book lightly against her chest as you switch the shirts on your arm. The saleswoman's curious expression prompts you to speak.

"Actually, she almost killed me." You say. "It was going to be quite a headline for this hotel. I'd be careful about the people you guys host around here."

The saleswoman looks at you with confusion, while the other woman lets out a dry laugh.

"You're the one who walked across in the middle of the street!" she defends herself. "It's not my fault if you weren't taught how to cross the street in school."

"Oh, so it's the victim's fault now?" You retort and the woman looks at you incredulously. A third customer enters the store and stares curiously at the argument, but the saleswoman is quick to gesture between you, smiling wryly.

"Oh come on, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding" The saleswoman remarks and you sustain the annoyed look the other woman is casting at you. "There's no need for an argument."

"Of course not." The woman says forcing a smile, but her posture remains aggressive. "We are both civilized adults."

You bite your tongue to avoid another provocation, looking away from the green irises in front of you.

"Of course you are." The saleswoman says smiling, and then her gaze catches the shirts hanging from your forearm and she lets out a light exclamation. "Come on, I can finalize your purchase if that's all, dear."

You turn toward the cashier next, and it is only after you have paid for the clothes and are leaving that you see the other woman again on your way back, but she does not look away from the books to you. You couldn't care less.

//-//

In your room, you can't resist the urge to look at your phone.

Bucky has called five times. And Steve even sent you an email. You sigh weakly, feeling guilty as you catch a glimpse of Tony and Natasha's message notifications.

Your friends didn't care that you started crying in the middle of the meeting you were at because your ex-wife decided to bring a sensitive topic like the end of your five-year marriage to the table, but you were hating yourself for it.

At this point, you didn't even know what you had been crying about anymore. You and Carol had always had a difficult relationship, and since you got married, you began to wonder why you had done it in the first place.

You loved her so much when you first met her, and then everything gradually broke down. The lack of compatibility, the jealousy and possessiveness, and the lack of time. Carol was a soldier in the army, and you were a Shield special agent, and your jobs took up a lot of your schedules. But you knew that this was just another empty excuse. After all, your best friend, Natasha, was also an agent, as was her wife, and they made everything work properly.

Maybe things were meant to happen that way. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

After taking a shower, you grumble lightly as you realize that you forgot to buy a bathing suit. And well, everything special about Palm Springs was the magnificent pools.

You figured the shorts and top you had would have to fit.

The pools were considerably more crowded than the rest of the hotel, and this was probably due to the current temperature.

You decided to buy a drink before sunbathing, realizing that most of the chairs were occupied.

The bartender was a pretty girl and smiled mischievously at you when her gaze fell on your collarbone exposed by the cut of your shirt, but you just gave her a half-hearted smile. Being newly divorced wasn't exactly the best scenario for flirting.

"What can I get you?" The woman asked as she rested her hands on the counter in front of her. You bit your lip thoughtfully, running your eyes down one of the menus left on the wood.

"Honestly, I don't know anything here." You say. "But I would like something sweet."

It takes a few minutes for her to prepare a drink for you, and you thank her as you accept.

As you sip a drink that tastes like strawberries and condensed milk, you look around the surroundings.

You frown slightly as you recognize the woman from the store, watching her sit in one of the chairs that has just been emptied in front of the bar. She doesn't notice you, but you notice her exposed legs, mentally scolding yourself for doing so.

As you take another sip of your drink, your tongue getting used to the sugary sweetness, a man approaches the stranger in front of you. From this proximity, you can hear the conversation, or rather the small harassment that he was doing.

Rolling your eyes at the stranger's clearly offensive attempt to approach the other woman, you force yourself to get up and walk over to them.

Well, Nat always said that you were a person with a natural talent for theater and you wish she were here now to see the little scene you caused.

Pretending to trip over the sunshade support, you made a sudden movement and knocked your entire drink against the man's collarbone, who let out an exclamation of anger and surprise as he stood up.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You asked in a falsely guilty tone, forcing an expression of shock. Before he could say anything, you were already grabbing one of the towels left on the little tables beside the chairs and throwing it harder than necessary against the man's face. "Here, honey, clean yourself up."

The man blinked in surprise, and glared angrily at you for a second before muttering "whatever" and turning to leave. When he was already a safe distance away, you turned your face to look at the seated woman.

"Sorry about your book." You speak as you notice that the spilled drink has dripped a little on the pages. "But if you ask me, the ending sucks."

"Thanks, I guess." The woman mumbles not keeping her gaze on you. "I didn't need you to help me, by the way." She adds and you roll your eyes, realizing that the chair next to her got empty after your little commotion. When you sit down, she raises her gaze to you in disbelief.

"Who said I was helping you?" You retort. "I love throwing expensive drinks at strangers."

Your joke elicits a nasal chuckle from the woman, who softens her posture.

"If you want to lose money, I suggest donating rather than wasting it." She teases back and you bite back a smile, shaking your head slightly. When she opens the book again and leans her back against the chair, clearly deciding to ignore your presence, you copy the position, but stand with your arms folded across your chest and close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun against your skin.

You are tired from the trip, and eventually fall asleep. When you open your eyes again, the woman is no longer there.

//-//

Since you have napped until the afternoon, there is no chance you will sleep early. You try to distract yourself with television, but most of the programs are pay-per-view and you have probably already exceeded all the limits that a Shield salary can afford, so you decide to spend some time on the activities included in your weekend bundle.

After putting on a shirt to join the lobby, you take the elevator down and step out into the outdoor area, not surprised to find the place as busy as before. The difference is perhaps the lack of children because of the time of day.

You walk toward the bar and roll your eyes slightly when you notice the same man as before being loud and boisterous along with a small group partying near the place. But you ignore them as you sit down on the first stool you find.

"Well, if it isn't my knight in white armor." A female voice comments wryly beside you, surprising you mildly. You look at the woman with a raised eyebrow, but she is looking straight ahead.

"So you expect me to call you a princess? We don't even know each other." You retort in the same tone, and watch the woman bite back a smile, rolling her eyes slightly.

You stand in silence while you order a drink, this time smiling in the same way that the bartender smiles at you. While you wait, you can' t help but look over to the side.

"You know, I think I might need to get your name." You begin in a tone of false seriousness, not knowing why you want to pull conversation with the stranger, but doing it anyway. "Since I need to know who to sue for attempted hit-and-run."

The woman laughs lightly, and as she sets her drinking glass back down on the counter, she turns her body toward you, without getting up.

"The smart thing then wouldn't be to say my name, don't you think?" She retorts with amusement in her voice. "That way I avoid a lawsuit."

You smile in a corner, shaking your head slightly. You lean your arm on the counter, and it takes a moment for her to speak again.

"I'm Leigh."

"No last name so I can't find your ID, right?" You tease and she smiles, licking her lips for a moment. "Well, I won't tell you mine either then." You comment before telling her only your first name, and she laughs lightly. "May I at least know your profession? Or, I don't know, where you're from? I need that information to track you down."

You joke, and Leigh makes a thoughtful expression for a moment.

"I'm from everywhere actually." She says mysteriously. "Because I'm an international jewel thief."

You smile at the mixed tone of seriousness and playfulness in her speech, respecting her right not to want to tell you the truth, and acknowledging the identity she chooses to assume.

"Oh, really?" You ask joining in the joke. "And let me guess, your disguise happens to be as a fashion stylist, right? And you have a red motorcycle and deadly poison hidden in your lipstick?"

Leigh holds back her laughter, nodding.

"I can't confirm any of that information, actually." She says. "After all, a little incident happened and I wasn't able to finish the story."

You laugh at the teasing, taking a sip of your drink. Before the moment of silence lasts any longer, you ask if you can approach. When Leigh consents, you take the seat next to her.

"And what do you do?" she asks as soon as you sit down. You clear your throat lightly.

"I'm a secret agent, actually." You tell her and from the woman's expression, she still believes you are joking. You do not correct yourself however. "Lasers and villains, the whole story."

Leigh smiles, murmuring in understanding.

"And what is a secret agent doing in Palm Springs?" She asks next and you assume a dramatically thoughtful expression.

"I got a hint actually." You reply. "A jewel thief, fugitive from the government. I'm trying to gather information to effect her arrest."

Leigh fakes an expression of horror making you laugh.

"If I see anything suspicious, I'll give you a heads up." She jokes and you smile, enjoying the whole thing. Before you can add anything else, the small group next to the bar let out loud laughter and they attract your and Leigh's attention.

You frown slightly when you witness the guy from earlier whistling at one of the hotel staff, the people with him finding his little scene of harassment funny.

"I guess a drink in the face isn't enough for some idiots." You comment and Leigh sighs mildly. She looks at you at the same moment you look at her.

"Maybe more drinks will be enough."

That's how you end up doing a little mischief that involves distracting the stranger with comments about his muscles while Leigh approaches and manages to get the man's card. When you walk away, after she hands the bartender the hotel ID after ordering a round for everyone at the bar on the stranger's behalf, you were laughing.

"I'm beginning to believe your thief story." You amused comment as soon as you and Leigh reach the trail out of the bar area. She just smiles at your words. You clear your throat next. "I guess I need to show off my secret agent skills then."

Leigh looks at you curiously, but you just smile as you nod in the direction of the gardens.

You walk for a few minutes in silence, and you remember everything you have observed since you arrived at the hotel, and are able to find the small opening in the fence that you saw some staff members pass through in the afternoon.

"Please, milady." You joke as you make room for Leigh to cross the path first, and she rolls her eyes with amusement before doing so.

You end up in some kind of unfinished private garden, but one that is still very pretty.

Perhaps it is an area under construction for some kind of party, as it has a stage set up in the center and some folded chairs scattered about.

Your attention falls immediately to the piano that has also been set up high on the dark stage.

"How did you find this place?" Leigh asks as she looks around, and you walk past her to get on the stage, eliciting a giggle.

"Field study, of course." You reply with false seriousness. " A secret agent never goes anywhere without studying the whole place first."

Leigh murmurs in agreement, deciding to follow you to the stage. You take a seat on the piano bench while she remains standing in front of the organ.

"Do you have any requests?" You ask looking down at your fingers as she studies your face.

"Old Mac Donald had a Farm." She replies and you choke on a laugh.

"And I thought your taste in music was as good as your fashion sense." You tease causing her to raise an eyebrow.

"Is that your way of complimenting what I'm wearing?" She retorts but you just bite back a smile, moving your fingers across the keys.

You decide to play a melody that she may not recognize, but is exactly what you feel you should play.

When the first notes of " Spring - Ludovico Einaudi" echo in the room, Leigh looks at you in surprise, but you just smile.

It takes a moment for her to surround the piano, and to sit down next to you. You continue to play, enjoying the sound and concentrating not to misplay the notes.

When you make a particularly fast movement on the piano, Leigh looks at you impressed, but you just push your shoulder lightly against hers, smiling. Neither of you regains the distance from before, and you continue to play.

When you finish, you are silent for a moment.

"Where did you learn to do that?" She asks in her low, impressed tone as you both look down at your hands on the keys. You sigh slightly, moving your fingers away and placing your hands in your lap.

"I used to play when I was a kid." You reply. "Before I was a secret agent, of course."

Leigh smiles, biting her lips lightly. You look away from the movement, to her hands quickly.

"Let me show you." You whisper as you reach out your hand to hers. When she accepts, you position her fingers on the keys, and then fit your hand on top of hers. "You start like this."

The sound is far from perfect, and Leigh laughs every time she misses a note, so you don't really care.

You stay like this for a few minutes, until you can get her to complete five notes without making a mistake.

"See? You' re almost a pianist already." You comment with a smile, looking at her face. She mimics your movement, and you feel your heart skip a beat from the closeness.

You feel the tension build in the room, but before you can think of doing anything, a male voice is breaking the spell.

"Sorry, but this area is for employees only." Informs the young man from the hotel, seeming slightly embarrassed to interrupt. You and Leigh quickly walk away, standing up and muttering an apology in unison to the guy, who waits until you leave by the trail he guides.

When you reach the entrance to the social area again, the employee closes the gate, waving slightly. You and Leigh exchange amused smiles.

"So... what do you want to do now?" You ask the next moment, wanting to prolong the evening.

"I want to swim." She declares and you frown slightly, then shrug. You nod in the direction of the pools and you exchange a glance before starting to walk.

//-//

At the edge of the pool, you sigh slightly.

You exchange a look with Leigh, standing next to you, and then you laugh softly as you both begin to undress.

You can't resist the urge to look at her, especially since she jumps in first and you catch a glimpse of her body covered only by a bikini. Ignoring your uncompensated heartbeat, you jump into the water next.

It's a good thing the water was cold, because you are feeling your face and body heat up at the way Leigh looks at you.

Trying to lighten the mood, you swim around her, casually meeting her gaze again as she mimics the movement.

You laugh lightly when you realize that you are swimming in circles around each other, and decide to stop. Leigh swims in front of you a moment later.

"Hello, superspy." She greets you almost in a whisper waving her arms to continue on the surface in front of you.

"Hello, international thief." You speak back in the same tone, your gazes locked on each other.

You wonder if she would like you to break the distance, as her gaze has lowered to your lips for a few seconds. But before you can surrender to this urge, she takes a step back.

"I'm cold."

And then she swims away, and you wonder if you have taken the whole thing the wrong way.

Following her a little way back, you look for towels.

//-//

"Which floor are you on?" You ask as you reach the elevators, each with a towel around your body. You watch Leigh tighten her arms against herself slightly.

"Second." She replies half-heartedly, and you nod.

"Let's go together then."

She gets into the elevator first, and after she presses the button, you stand next to her, your back against the wall.

The tension is back the moment the doors close, but after the pool, you find it best not to take any action, not wishing to make Leigh uncomfortable.

You reach her floor a moment later, and when she doesn't leave, you hold your breath.

You risk a corner-of-your-eye glance at her, but she continues to stare straight ahead, sighing slightly.

Trying not to look like a complete mess, you wait for your floor to arrive.

//-//

The way down the hallway is silent, and despite your nervousness, you don't fumble to open your room.

Leigh enters first, and strides into the room as you close the door.

She stops in the center, her gaze scanning around for a moment before returning to you. You hold your breath, and then she lets the set of clothes in her hands fall to the floor.

You bite back a smile, mimicking the movement. Taking a deep breath, you do the same with your towel, and ignore the heat in your cheeks as Leigh's gaze descends to your body covered only by your underwear.

She removes the towel at your waist next, and you stare at her exposed legs for a moment before moving slowly toward her.

You smile shyly as you stop in front of her, and it takes a second for you to slowly lift your fingers to touch her, tracing the outline of her arm and watching her skin shiver.

"Everything okay?" You ask softly raising your gaze from where your fingers were touching to her eyes. Leigh sighs, shaking her head in agreement. You give her a short smile, placing your hand on her cheek, and watching her lean into the touch slightly. "Use your words." You ask in a whisper, your other hand repeating the motion of your fingers from before, even more slowly.

"Y-yes." She confirms half breathlessly. "And you?"

"Yes." You say, your hand reaching for the strap of her bikini. "I'm going to kiss you now, Leigh."

She nods in understanding, sighing heavily. You didn't correctly calculate how attracted you were to her, because the moment your lips touched, you felt your head spin and it was hard not to push her against the bed immediately.

You both sigh against the kiss, and you slide your tongue into her mouth next, your hand on her face running down to her neck, deepening the kiss even more.

Leigh seems hesitant to touch you for the first second, but then she gasps against your tongue, and brings her hands to your shoulders, bringing one of them up to the back of your neck and scratching the skin, making you sigh.

With the hand that was on the bikini strap, you use your fingers to pull the strap down, and with the other hand you repeat the movement on the other side. When the bikini falls to the floor, your hands go down to her waist, and you pull her toward you.

Leigh gasps at the contact of your breasts bumping together, breaking the kiss with a wet sigh, and you take the opportunity to move your mouth down her collarbone, enjoying the sounds you manage to get out of her whenever you bite her sensitive skin softly.

You lean against her to lower your kisses to her breasts, and when your mouth finds the hardened nipple, she arches her back, closing her eyes as her fingers force your head forward against her breast.

"Oh." She moans as she feels you suck on her nipple, your other hand moving up to give her other breast due attention, your fingers playing with the tip. " Oh, fuck, that feels good."

You smile against her skin, feeling your core tighten with the sounds you are tearing out of her.

When your hand on her waist moves down to her ass, squeezing the flesh and pressing Leigh's hips against yours as your mouth continues on her breast, she moans loudly as she throws her head back, shuddering against you.

It's enough to make you lose control. You need to know how she tastes.

Gasping, you move your kisses down again, and Leigh holds her breath as you get down on your knees.

You kiss her thighs first, while your hands pull down the fabric of her panties.

When the fabric falls away completely, you swallow dry, your gaze glazed on the exposed intimacy of the woman in front of you, your mouth salivating to taste her.

"I-I'm gonna fall." She comments shyly, and you notice how her knees are already shaky. You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to stand up.

You take Leigh by the hand to your bed, and she stands there, making you smile. You move forward against her mouth again, and she sighs, almost losing her balance from the intensity.

"Lie down." You ask between one kiss and another, making her moan softly. "Spread your legs for me."

Leigh gasps against your lips as you slip your fingers through her folds for a moment, before pulling away until she obeys. You bite your lips as you watch her lie down.

Before you join her, you remove the rest of your clothes. Leigh's cheeks redden, but you give her no time to register this, climbing onto the bed with your knee between her legs and kissing her again.

As she begins to squirm beneath you for more friction, you move your kisses down her body.

She closes her eyes when your mouth is at the level of her belly, breathing hard.

When your tongue touches her pussy, you both moan loudly. You are amazed at how wet and hot she feels, the taste filling all your senses. And Leigh bites her lips to stop herself from moaning out in pleasure when your tongue begins to move against her clit, sucking and licking her devotedly and making her whimper.

"F-fuck." She moans breathlessly, her hips thrusting into your mouth. "Yeah...right there... don't stop..."

You lift your hands to her thighs, holding her open. Your own intimacy pulsing from the way Leigh is surrendered to you and the sounds she gives you.

Keeping the strokes of your tongue as deep as you can and being sure to press your clitoris in return, you feel her pussy tighten and Leigh's body begins to quiver in spasms.

"I-I'm... close... fuck..." she begins to whimper disconnected words, long moans escaping her throat. It takes only two more strokes for her to come on your tongue, her moan loud enough to be heard in the next room, but neither of you care.

You drink all of her cum, enjoying the taste and feeling on edge, without even having been touched yet.

Moving up your kisses again, you deposit slow kisses against Leigh's skin, waiting for her to recover from her own orgasm.

When you reach her mouth, she kisses you back with the same intensity.

You just know you're not going to sleep early tonight.

//-//

When you wake up, your bed is empty. You are surprised by this, really.

The night was very good. Much better than any one-night stand you have ever had.

After getting dressed by finding your articles of clothing, you walk to the front desk.

It takes a few minutes to find Leigh, and you frown when you realize from the bag in her hands, the documents, and the car key that she is leaving.

"Wow, you weren't even going to leave a note." You tease as you catch up with her. She is startled by your sudden presence, but forces a smile.

"Look, I'm sorry..." she starts but you shake your head.

"No need." You interrupt by putting your hands in your pockets and shrugging. "It was just one night after all."

"Yes." She reaffirms what you say, staring at you. You hold her gaze, and a long minute later she sighs. "No, it wasn't."

You swallow dryly, watching her. She seems conflicted about something, her expression going from worried to guilty in a few seconds, and then she takes a deep breath and shakes her head before looking at you again.

"I can't." She says, and you sigh lightly. "I just... can't."

"It's okay." You decide to say, ignoring the way your stomach is flipping with nervousness or your heart is racing. "We are civilized adults, aren't we?"

Leigh smiles, and you watch her eyes water for a moment before she quickly hides her emotion. You feel the same way.

" This is a goodbye." Leigh says next, and you look away to the floor, nodding in understanding.

"Goodbye, Leigh. It was nice meeting you." You say as you look at her again, forcing a smile even though your eyes are watering.

She smiles, approaching to kiss your cheek close enough to your lips to make you shiver. She doesn't pull away immediately, raising her mouth to the height of your ear, she whispers "I left a note." and before you can understand what has been said to you, she is gone.

It is only at the end of the day, many hours after she has left, and you are already inside your car that you rummage in your pants pocket looking for the car key that you find the note.

It is a piece torn from the page of the book "Unmoored in milan", the paper stained with drink. In the corner, in cursive letters it is written. "to my favorite secret agent. Leigh Shaw, Los Angeles."

You smiled at the words, and as you were driving back to New York, you wondered how long it would take Natasha to find out Leigh's phone number.

//-//

Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia

@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @HELLOALYCIA // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm

// @sxfwap // @table57

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 3

Chapter 1: The Flight of The Sparrows

Warning: Strong language, violence, mild sexual content

a/n: Hello old friends and readers, it's been a while huh? It's so nice to be back with a new chapter of TEC. I hope you all love what I have in store for season 3 and thank you so much for your support.

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

"I knew you’d show up eventually," I heard dad’s voice and my entire body froze.

"You’re alive," Luther blurted out.

"Why shouldn’t I be?" He replied.

"Yeah, you’re right… I’m just happy that we’re home and together again."

"Home? This isn’t your home."

"Dad?" I raised my brows. "You’re not making any sense, this is the Umbrella Academy."

"Wrong again," dad seemed beyond amused with our confusion. "This is the Sparrow Academy."

Behind us stood a group of people dressed in a twisted version of our uniform. Diego pulled out a knife just in case.

"Dad, who the hell are these assholes?" Ben came out of the shadows. It was him, but somehow completely different. 

"Shit…" We all muttered at the same time.

"Ben!" Klaus took a step forward, still holding my hand. 

"It's so good to see you like this! Flesh and bone, oh my God! I missed you so much," I cried.

"And who are the weirdos from the balcony?" Diego shouted and I had to shush him. 

"These are the Sparrows, my children," dad smiled proudly.

"Well hello... We are the Umbrella Academy, and we are also Reginald's children, nice to meet you," I offered my hand for someone to shake, but none of them were having it. "I feel like the timeline was fucked somehow, but nothing that can't be fixed with a hug and some cake."

"Oh, let me guess, after that we all hold hands and sing Kumbaya?" one of the Sparrows mocked. His appearance was... Well, it was different. His body was entirely deformed, but he didn't seem to mind at all. 

"Alphonso," I blurted out as the name came to my mind, almost like I stole it from his. "You were born in Brazil... Me too! That is so cool! I've never met anyone from my country before."

I didn't even notice that what I said was creepy until I saw all eyes, both Sparrows' and Umbrellas' on me. I couldn't help it, all that information was flowing into my brain like a waterfall, it was almost overwhelming.

"The Umbrella Academy," dad broke the silence. "A group of scheming perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of 1963 when I was away on business in Dallas. They claim to be my spawn."

"Accost you? Dad! We were trying to get help," Klaus argued, but he didn't take the offenses to heart, we all knew to never take the offenses to heart.

"We are your children, you are our dad, you raised us and we are definitely not perfidious! Five, did we fuck it up again?" I asked.

"I don't know, but it's concerning."

"Vicky's right, we're amateur-fidious at best!" Klaus jumped to my defense, which I had to admit was rather cute.

Taking a look at the diverse group in front of us, I somehow knew exactly who they were. It wasn't exactly the same feeling as reading minds, but almost like invading them. I had no idea how I was able to do that after barely controlling my mind-reading skills for the past... whatever time had passed since I first discovered it. Four years? One week? Who knows anymore.

Marcus, the Number One was tall and intimidating. Ben was nothing like the brother I knew back in the day. Fei was cold and ruthless. Alphonso was a jokester, but not in the same way as Klaus, more in a bullying way. Sloane, what a horrible name, was a people pleaser and a bad one at that. Jayme was pretty much still a child inside her brain, I've never heard such petty thoughts. And Christopher... well, Christopher was a cube. There's not much to say about that.

"This is our house, we grew up here," Luther said. 

"I think we would've noticed you," Sloane countered with the most disgusting zen yoga instructor tone I've ever heard.

"Hi, I'm Luther," he suddenly smiled and I punched his shoulder to bring him back. No way Spacey was making eyes at her. What? The world was truly upside-down.

"None of you belong here," Allison exclaimed.

"There are 42 rooms in the house, Alli, I think we can all fit," I scoffed.

"Awww she thinks we're the same, we can all be a big happy family!" Fei mocked. 

I couldn't pay attention to the rest of their smack talk because mom walked into the room carrying a plate of cookies, as she always used to do for us. I knew that everything was different and very much like the human Grace in Dallas, she wouldn't recognize me, but I still ran to her, wrapping my arms around her as tightly as I could. 

"I missed you so much, mamãe!"

"Mom..." Diego called, just as startled.

"Mom? She's a robot you perv," Jayme teased.

"No, she's not! Call my brother a perv again, see what happens!" I finally had enough of those rude assholes and snapped. "You tiny little childish-"

Before I could finish my insult, she proceeded to open her mouth just slightly to let out a viscous black liquid, it was shot straight at my face and Klaus winced as I tried to wipe it out, but it was quickly absorbed. 

"Is this poison? Poison can do nothing for me, sweetheart! I'm indestructible!" I started, but I noticed as the sentence progressed my voice was changing, just like the rest of the room around me. 

"Vicky! Come on, we're gonna be late!" Klaus called, but he looked completely different, he looked the same way he did when he was 20 years old. Upon turning to look in the mirror, I realized I also did. 

"Late for what?" I asked, running in his direction. 

"For our birthday party, silly," he chuckled. His wild curls were as messy as ever, his torso was completely exposed under his fishnet shirt and as for the bottom he wore a plaid mini-skirt and knee-high socks with platform shoes. 

"God, you look hot!"

"Not hotter than you, Liebling," he pulled me in for a sloppy kiss. 

"Ugh, can't you do this later?" Diego groaned, dragging us to the basement where the rest of our siblings were along with several other guests, including the young Sparrows. Even Five was there, I've never seen him in his 20s, but somehow I knew it was him. "We've been waiting for you."

"For what? You were waiting for us to play Ragatanga?" I elbowed Klaus.

"Don't you dare! Fucking hate that song."

"Dieguito, it's your song!" I insisted, starting to sing it just like I used to when we were younger to annoy him, Klaus had learned the lyrics especially to piss him off. "Olha lá quem vem virando a esquina, é Diego com toda alegria festejando. Com a lua em seus olhos, roupa de agua marinha, e seu jeito de malandro..."

"Oh, you jerks," he rolled his eyes fondly.

"I chose the next song in your honor," Allison announced. 

"Musa do Verão?" 

"You're close..."

"Guess you'll just have to find out," Ben laughed, pressing play.

Ela Só Pensa em Beijar started playing and I screamed, it had been decades since I last heard that song. I pulled Klaus to the middle of the dance floor, singing along and twerking (yeah, Brazilian funk requires twerking, there's nothing I can do about it) to the glorious sound of my teenage years.

Quem é a menina que dança e fascina (Who is this girl who dances and mesmerizes)

Que alucina querendo beijar (And drives herself crazy wanting to kiss someone)

Se ela dança eu danço, balancei no balanço (If she's dancing I'm dancing, I swayed to the beat)

Nesse doce encanto que me faz cantar (In this sweet spell that makes me sing)

Que é quando eu te vejo, desperta o desejo (When I see you, it awakens my desire)

Eu lembro do seu beijo e não paro de sonhar (I remember your kiss and can't stop dreaming

The bass echoed in my heart like a beating drum, it's been so long since I had felt that alive. Let's face it, there was no time like the 2000s and 2010s, I'm willing to bet no one in the world has been happy ever since, but none of that mattered. I was 20 again, all my brothers and sisters were there with me, Klausie was mine, and I finally had a birthday party.

"Ela só pensa em beijar... Beijar, beijar, beijar! E vem comigo dançar... Dançar, dançar, dançar," Klaus sang happily, urging me to grind against him. "Is it true, Vicky? Do you really only think about kissing me?"

"You know it is," I straightened, leaning against his already sweaty chest, burying my fingers in his hair. "You're the only guy I ever liked."

"That's interesting because you are the only girl I ever liked. I did like a few guys back in the day but-"

"Asshole!" I snorted, turning around to kiss him again.

"Do you know what sehnsucht means, my love?" 

"No, but I'd love for you to say it again..."

"Sehnsucht means a deep yearning, a wish so strong to have something you know it's meant to be yours. Missing someone so much and knowing that your desire won't bring you any closer to them. That's how I used to feel about you. But now you're mine, I don't have to yearn anymore, I love you."

"I love you too," I confessed as the next song started, my gaze lost on his body. "Sorry, your outfit is really distracting."

"Oh? Maybe you'd wanna do more than just kissing?" he whispered in my ear while his hand shamelessly slid down my back and towards my ass. "Du bist eine geile Sau."

"You're so dirty! Klaus, stop it! Not in front of them... Let's go upstairs." 

"Wow, and I thought knife boy was the pervert, you wanna fuck your own brother?" Jayme's voice brought me back from my daydream, and what a daydream it was, it seemed so real!

That's when I finally realized where I really was, still 33 and still facing the unpleasant Sparrows. Only I was leaning against Klaus, who didn't really understand what was going on, but wasn't complaining either.

"Not just brother, fiancé!" he held up my right hand to show off the ring.

"Ew, gross," Alphonso recoiled.

"You're one to talk..." I muttered under my breath. "And jokes on you, Jayme, I was having a great time just now. Do it again, can you do it again? Please? Just a little bit."

"How does she know all their names?" Vanya asked, hoping someone had the answer.

"Why does she wanna be spat on so bad?" Diego returned the question. "Is that a new kink?"

"You have thirty seconds to leave our house or we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way," Marcus threatened calmly.

"Victoria is right, we just fought a literal army, this doesn't need to get ugly. Let's just calm down and talk," Vanya suggested.

"Hey, Benerino?" Klaus called in a high-pitched tone. "You look so much better alive than you do dead, am I right? Except for this haircut."

"What did you just say?" I don't think I've ever seen Ben's face twist into that expression, it was quite scary to be honest, but Klaus didn't seem intimidated and only made his way closer to our dead brother's clone.

"Come on, stop with all the hostility, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Wow, nice scar, muy macho..."

"Shut your mouth!"

"You shut your mouth and just hug your brother!" 

Klaus tried to wrap his arms around him, but before he could, Sparrow Ben knocked him out, sending his skinny little body across the room. 

Okay, that was it, I had seen enough of those posers and I was not about to let them hurt my fiancé right before we got married.

"You son of a bitch!" I shoved Ben before throwing a punch. He was fast, but I wasn't aiming for his face, I moved my trajectory to hit his stomach instead, which I know it's his most sensitive area. "Anyone who touches Klaus or any of my siblings is getting their asses kicked!"

"Look, the Alabama Brady Bunch decided to show their claws..." Alphonso taunted.

"Hey!" Marcus tried to punch me in the face as retaliation, but it obviously only made his knuckles hurt. "Jesus..."

"Everything you have I can take and so much more," I smirked.

"Don't touch my sister!" Diego and Luther said nearly at the same time as if I needed protection, it was sweet.

That's how it started, the great battle of the Sparrows and the Umbrellas. I wish we had a cooler name, but anyway... Luther and Marcus got into a duel while Klaus swiftly escaped, Diego was challenging the flying cube, and Five was taking care of Ben. Fei and Jayme were going against Vanya and Allison and I was the only one without a fight partner.

"Hey, you! *Filhote de cruz credo, wanna fight?" I stopped in front of Alphonso.

"Nah, not really," he sighed, grabbing a small bag of popcorn from his pocket. 

When Marcus tried to punch her nothing happened, that would be a waste of time, his thought echoed in my head and I grinned.

"You know what? I respect that, have a nice day," I moved to the next contender, Sloane. "And you, puta? Come on, bring it on!"

"I don't wanna fight you!" Vanya screamed at Jayme, so I took the chance to finally blow off some steam.

"Good, get out of here, Vanny," I pushed my sister away and stepped in. "Come on, bitch! Spit on my face again, I double-dog dare you!"

"You liked that way too much, weirdo," Jayme finally accepted my offer and we started to fight. I managed to block her kicks and punches easily, using her own attacks as an opportunity to strike. "You really are indestructible, hah? You must make a good punching bag."

"Okay okay, now I'm curious," Alphonso stepped in. "Punch me in the face," he asked, standing in front of me. 

I didn't think twice and threw my left hook, putting my whole body into it. Nothing happened to him, but then again nothing happened to me either. We just stared at each other for a few seconds. 

"Você absorve o impacto, (You absorb the impact,)" I murmured. "Manda a força aplicada de volta pra mim. (Sending the applied force back to me.)"

"Sim, (Yes,)" he nodded. "E pelo jeito você também conseguiria fazer algo parecido se desistisse de ser patricinha e ganhasse mais massa. (And by the looks of it you could do something similar if you gave up on being so pretty and gained more mass.)"

"Huh... Você tá certo, valeu pela dica, (You're right, thank you for the tip,)" I offered my hand and he reluctantly shook it. I know I was supposed to be fighting him, but he actually made a good point. Maybe I should think about that. "Seu português é muito bom! (Your Portuguese is really good!)"

"Obrigado? (Thank you?)" 

"See? We're hugging, this is progress!" I heard Klaus' voice and immediately ran back to the living room. 

"Ben, let him down right now!" I demanded. "Or do you want me to punch you in the portal again?"

"Oooo I'm so scared... Fuck!" he winced as I grabbed one of his tentacles and bit into it as hard as I could. It felt like eating squid and I spit the chunk on the floor before trying to ease Klaus' fall once Ben let go. "That was fucking gross!"

"Anything for my man," I helped my fiancé up and ran to the secret passage behind the bookshelves. "Let's get out of here before they get you again. Are you okay?"

"I think so, might have broken a rib, but nothing serious," he tried to catch his breath desperately. 

To our surprise, once we made our escape, we ended up in a small office with a couch, TV, minifridge... And dad was sitting down watching some old show. I could barely recognize him in that state, he almost seemed like a normal old man his age.

"Which ones are you? Scruffy, fatty, sad girl? I don't recall..." he trailed off, opening a tin of biscuits. And let me tell you, I have never seen a tin like that filled with actual biscuits, it's always a sewing kit, but that is not important to the story.

"Am I sad girl?" I asked.

"I think that might be Vanya," Klaus pointed out. 

"Oh yes, the incestuous duo," dad chuckled to himself.

"Who are these absolute psychopaths and why are they in our house?" my fiancé finally asked.

"Simple, once your oafish tribe showed me what a poor job I did with my first selections, I adopted them instead of you," he explained. 

"Dad!"

"I'm not your father, not anymore! Biscuit?" he offered and Klaus immediately accepted, making me nervously pinch the bridge of my nose. My blood was boiling with anger, how could he say something like that to us?

"A poor job? A POOR JOB?" I screamed. "I survived all the trauma you put me through. Hours and hours under that hydraulic press, being shot at, stabbed, thrown off precipices! I'm here and I am a successful, intelligent, and resourceful businesswoman who is tough and never gives up. You call that a failure?"

"If you are still standing here, it probably was not that traumatic."

"I spent my entire life trying to be the best daughter you could ask for, I did everything you wanted me to, I gave my best years to you and I'm a failure? FUCK YOU! YOU CRUSTY OLD BASTARD, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL WITH A DEMON SHOVING A BASEBALL BAT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BECOME A HUMAN KEBAB! I'll leave this house yeah, because I want to protect my fiancé. If I didn't, I could withstand anything you other kids have to throw at me. I might get tired eventually, but they would get tired first and when they did, I'd shove one of my brother's knives into each of their hearts. That's how you made me, dad. Come on, Klaus, I don't wanna waste my time with this excuse for a human being."

"Wow," he murmured, following me outside. "That was so sexy."

Once we arrived at the park I finally had time to breathe and sit down, Klaus decided to rest on my lap and I could take a look at his cuts and bruises. "Damn it, now my wedding is ruined, my fiancé is broken, everyone looks like shit!"

"I'm so sorry, Liebling, I really wanted to do it today, but it looks like it might have to wait a little so everyone can look alive for the pictures," he frowned and my heart broke even more. 

A memory from his childhood suddenly flooded my brain, a time when he apologized for something that wasn't his fault either and I felt the exact same pain, but I couldn't quite place what exactly happened. 

Slowly the others joined, each looking more pitiful than the last and grumbling about how we fucked that one up. Luther was especially messed up, none of what he said even made sense.

"Oh, thank God you're alive!" Vanya was the last one to arrive. 

"Apparently so is Ben," Klaus mocked.

"Yeah, but he's a complete dickhead," Allison said.

"They're all dickheads," Diego agreed.

"Dickheads who can fight," Luther added.

"Okay, the next person to say dickhead is getting a punch to the throat!" Five threatened.

"DICKHEAD!" we all said almost in unison.

"Hey, did dad say anything about why he was calling them his kids?" Digo asked.

"He sure did," Klaus huffed a laugh. "You ready? Daddy was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely new group of children just so he didn't have to raise us."

"So he just didn't want us anymore?" Vanya shook her head.

"Did he ever?" Allison sneered.

"See? I told you we shouldn't have asked for help back in 63!" Luther scolded, but I was so done with everyone's shit for the day.

"Then why didn't you come up with a solution for the apocalypse yourself instead, monkey brain?" I teased.

"I think you're all missing the big picture here," Five still seemed as calm and collected as ever, it was almost annoying sometimes. "If dad didn't adopt us as kids, he changed the timeline, so who knows what else is different now?"

"Great, just great... Dad fucking butterfly effect us into homelessness!" I rubbed my eyes nervously.

"Don't worry, Vicky, you're very good at becoming friends with strangers in new places and getting them to give you jobs," Klaus joked.

"Guys, it's fine, we still have the Commission's briefcase, so worst case we just go back in time and fix it," Vanya suggested.

"Let's go back to the '60s and just stay there! I loved being prophetess of the Destiny's Children. Alli had her husband, Vanny had her girlfriend, Klausie and I were rich!" I whined, wishing I never left even though we were all wanted by the police.

"There are two problems with that idea," Five stood up and stretched. "First of all, time travel is complicated."

"Here we go," Klaus rolled his eyes, laying back on my lap.

"And secondly..."

"You don't have the briefcase," I groaned in frustration when I heard what he was thinking. "Because you left it at the mansion, because you're a fucking asshole! You guys think way too loud, we need to find somewhere to stay while we solve this shitshow. And yes Diego, they might come after us, but if you're scared just stay behind me like everyone else does!"

"Schnucki," Klaus whispered. "Is it that time of the month?"

"Yes! It's that time of the month! The time of the month when my fucking siblings and I are homeless orphans in the middle of the city, bleeding out while everyone stares at us, and those damn bastards are famous heroes whose faces are literally everywhere! I guess you can't really blame me for being irritable."  

"No, not at all, I just figured because... Isn't it usually that time of the month for you?" he whispered once again. 

"I don't know anymore, we time traveled four times! It's been three years? It's been 20 days? I barely know what my age is anymore let alone when my period is due. Now please tell me you know some weird hideout from your cult leader times where we can stay and nobody will bother us?"

"Hmmm... Actually, I might know just the place," Klaus smiled. "And it might double as a wedding venue if you like it."

*Filhote de Cruz Credo: Brazilian expression that means someone or something really really really ugly.