#we have new fans trickling in constantly and honestly?

[miss-ingno]

Hey, hi, hello there! Just a quick little ask because I've been getting interested in Guardian thanks to your blog, but I haven't been able to find anywhere to watch it online. Would you care to enlighten me? If not, no problem! Have a nice day either way. ♥

Ahhhh, haha, your timing is incredible :')

Okay so until yesterday, the 4th anniversary of Guardian being first streamed, you could watch all 40 episodes on Youtube. However, yesterday YT set it to private -- something similar happened to the Chinese drama Nirvana in Fire before, we're hoping it's just contract negotiations.

It was also recently taken off Viki.com, the go-to site for watching Asian dramas (Korean, Thai, Chinese, most of them are there for international audiences to enjoy).

So! That's a bit of a bummer, but!

Because this fandom is incredible, we actually have an entire drive worth of high quality videos, including fantranslated subs. You can find them to download here. (Quick terms explanation: hardsubs means the text is burned onto the visuals, softsubs you use software to pop them up on top of the video -- meaning you can turn it off for clear visuals for giffing/editing purposes!)

Alternatively, Guardian is also still up on dramacool. I haven't personally used this site before, but I've heard from at least three fellow Guardian fans that they used it without issues.

.

I know it's more difficult to access right now, which is likely to put new potential fans off. That said, however, I wanna emphasize how amazing an experience Guardian is to watch, and how beauitful a fandom it is.

Is it a perfect drama? By no means. The story has a lot of wobbly parts, the background characters are often very much their stereotypes, the CGI is questionable unless it's dark energy, then it's pretty. The intro is a banger and you can tell they used up their whole budget just for that 😂

But the true selling point is the ship: they don't call it gay because of censorship, but the two main character Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan? Are so freakin' in love, and they're really not subtle about it. Especially Shen Wei's actor is star-struck wide-eyed *yearning* from the first meet-cute, and Zhao Yunlan is constantly fellating a lollipop with very unsubtle innuendo. The amount of times their gazes drops to each other's mouths! The dry swallowing after ambiguous lines! I don't wanna spoil anything, but sheesh. The mutual pining, mutual obsession, mutual stalking, mutual sacrificing--- it's beautiful.

The ship is really what holds the whole drama together.

Also, the novel it's based on? Very gay, and Zhao Yunlan is very much a slutty disaster bisexual. Like, the come-on lines coming out of his mouth made my ears burn, and I write a lot of smut! Kinky smut even! He's absolutely shameless, and drama!Zhao Yunlan toes that line a little more subtly.

Uhhh, fair warning though, you *will* need tissues for the last episode. And feel free to hmu for all the fix-it fic in the aftermath, there's a lot of it out there (and goddamn the sheer QUALITY of writing in this fandom is levels above most I've been in before) and it's a very, very necessary part of the Guardian Experience TM ^^"

[purrincess-chat]

I've had this discussion before with friends, but I wanted to delve into it more. In a meta mood today I guess, but I've been thinking while watching s4 (well, I've thought it for a while but it's glaringly obvious in s4), but ML has a huge pacing problem.

I know that s1 was more or less a pilot season. It introduced the concept and dynamics of the show, and they weren't exactly sure if it would get its feet off the ground yet, but seasons 2-4 so far have just had a lot of pacing issues.

And I'm going to preface this by saying that everyone who can't understand the difference between critical discussion and salt, feel free to leave. I don't care if you think the show is perfect the way it is. Go do that somewhere else. People can and should be able to look at the media they consume critically. It doesn't mean it's bad or that they hate it. They just fundamentally understand that it is flawed, and enjoy discussing the plot and its flaws on a deeper level. Refusing to see flaws where they exist isn't the positive power move you think it is.

Anyway, back to the pacing issues.

S2 and s3 had barely any plot. The plot we did get was trickled in. Crumbs. Now we got to s4 and Thomas has declared that every episode will have Chat Blanc levels of bombshells dropped as if that's a good thing. Don't get me wrong, s4 has been better than prior seasons, but I still leave every episode feeling like they rushed to cram in too much.

We all know how I feel about the love rivals, and setting aside personal feelings, the rivals from a writing standpoint were not necessary. At least not functioning as love rivals. Introduce Luka and Kagami, sure, but from a storytelling standpoint the purpose they served in s2 and 3 was just to be a cheap distraction. And they didn't have to be.

The big draw of this show is the love square and its subversion of the love triangle. Now people argue that it's realistic to explore other options before getting together, and while that might be true of real life, that isn't in line with the genre/style of this show. It wasn't a needed lesson, so to speak. They drew us in with the promise to subvert a specific trope in an interesting way, then immediately dragged out that very trope. And not even for any big reason. They just needed an excuse to keep the endgame ship split. And as we can see with how swiftly they dropped the rivals when they were no longer "necessary" as distractions, the writers were always using them as an excuse not to put the square together earlier. They knew the square's chemistry was too good and fans were going to be foaming at the mouth by s3 if they didn't do something. Then the second they have another excuse for the square not to get together, boom. Dropped the rivals.

You felt cheated because it was a cheap tactic, and honestly, it was so avoidable if they had just paced things better.

Honestly, I feel like Alya should have found out in s3. Granted, in order to do that they would have had to changed a lot. So this is what I personally (you are welcome to your opinions elsewhere if you disagree or enjoy canon the way it is) feel would have helped fix this pacing problem:

S1 was a bit unavoidable, and it works for what is is: a market tester.

S2 should have focused more extensively on the lore and Marinette's guardian training. We should have been introduced to Mayura earlier. They should have spent more time expanding Master Fu's story and the order's backstory. They could have created tension with the girls/Alya/Marinette's relationships by having her constantly sneaking around to either fight bad guys or train as a guardian which begins to harbor Alya's suspicion. They very well could have moved Master Fu passing his role onto Marinette to the s2 finale if they were more efficient with their time, leading into s3.

S3 could have had Alya finding out. Marinette becomes too overwhelmed with her new duties as guardian and being Ladybug just as she is in s4. S3 could have been her exploring her new role with her bff by her side for support while they begin to build up the Agreste plot more.

S4 then would have been free to expand the Agreste plot without having to crowd in so many other plotlines. Everything would have room to breathe. Marinette would have been busy enough in prior seasons to justify not dating anyone.

What the rivals effectively did was waste time that could have been utilized to develop the plot further in other areas. I get some people like them, but from an objective storytelling perspective, they were filler. When you write a story, like an honest to God professional story, everything has to serve a greater purpose for the plot and move it forward, and if you are experiencing pacing issues or a plot line isn't working, you have to make the executive decision to cut it or change it. I get that time constraints are a thing in TV. Executive meddling happens. Deadlines are tight, which doesn't always leave room for this kind of long game thinking. I also get that this is (I believe) the first time Thomas has been a head writer. Mistakes are bound to happen. It's how you learn and get better. I get that.

This post is more just me speculating what would have made things work better. For me. So backspace over your butthurt comments. Your precious canon is still untouched. I promise. This is just my opinion, shared on my own blog (and not even tagged). Go make your own meta post.

But that being said, I enjoy s4, but it still doesn't quite sit right with me because they are putting too many eggs in their basket now in an attempt to be epic and up the stakes, but in reality, it just leaves the show feeling really unbalanced. To me.

If you like ML the way it is, great. Go enjoy it, scamp. I wouldn't be here if I didn't glean some enjoyment from it too. I just like to think about things sometimes. And that's perfectly okay.

[boxofbadaddiction]

Just Like You Like It

Song Inspired

George Weasley x Reader

Warnings: Light Smut. A curse word.

George could tell y/n was stressed, he didn't have to be told. He could see it; he were the first to notice. The way she shut down. How much shorter she'd become with everyone. How the smallest of inconveniences could set her off.

Her hair was constantly a mess from the amount of times her fingers tugged, pulled and ran through it. She gave up wearing make-up to avoid the way it smudged as her hands frequently dug, clawed and rubbed at her face in frustration.

He wondered if she even noticed how cold their relationship had become. The spark between them which raged within their chests as an all comsuming flame; diminished to less than an ember. Still alight but too weak to any longer feel it's warmth.

Though they shared the same bed every night he'd never felt further apart. He missed her. Her new routine left him hanging at a distance.

She'd wake up, shower, get changed and leave. No words spoken. No smile on her face. No kiss good morning or kiss goodbye. The nights were no easier. She'd arrive home late, disappear to the study, then later crawl into bed beside him well past midnight. No conversation. No kiss goodnight.

He could barely remember the last time they'd touched let alone had a meal together. George had been patient hoping this were simply a rough patch, that things would fall back into place eventually. This morning however, was his breaking point.

As he woke to an empty bed, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom just like many mornings before, he reddied himself for work. As he pulled on a fresh suit for the day something caught his ears. A sound which, though muffled, were undeniably caused from distress. He stepped closer to the bathroom, leaning towards the door and listening intently. Sobs and strained breaths cursed the air. George felt his heart be ripped from his chest in that moment. He made to open the door but stopped himself, he weren't even sure how to comfort her anymore. Things were evidently far worse than he feared what if, by barging in on her in this time, he made matters worse unintentionally?

He restrained himself, giving her the space she most likely needed right now, though determined to fix things. It was time. No more waiting for things to sort themselves out.

He sat patiently on the edge of their bed for her to come out, preparing to have the difficult conversation.

Later she emerged, fully clothed for work with eyes still puffy. He stood, words forming on the tip of his tongue, but she wouldn't even look at him. Like he weren't there. Simply grabbing her keys and wallet from off the chest of draws, muttering a lame 'I'll be home late' and leaving as swiftly as she'd entered.

He was too slow. Too hesitant. His brows furrowed, staring after her with parted lips. Dread began to fill his heart, thickly being pumped throughout his bloodstream. How could he fix this?

That evening y/n slowly made her way home, like many before it were well past the time she ought to be arriving home. Her body felt too heavy for her legs to carry. Back aching as did her feet, with shoulders unbelievably tense from several large knots taken root in her muscles. Rubbing at them frustratedly as she walked her eyes shut tight in pain whilst brimming with tears. This was one of the worst times of her life, everything that could go wrong did and it seemed unlikely ever to resolve. With no sign of her ridiculous work load easing. The state of her currently crumpling relationship. Now even her body were turning against her.

She was hungry, not having ate properly in days. Tired, her sleep restless and tormenting. Her head ached continuously and she found herself on the brink of tears or an emotional outburst given any moment.

As her key turned in it's lock she pushed the door open preparing for yet another night spent in the study. Closing her eyes she inhaled sharply, the very thought causing a sickness to settle in her stomach. There was something different about tonight though.

As her lungs filled, she felt herself relax considerably. A content sigh slipping from her lips as she exhaled slowly. Opening her eyes, they travelled over the flat to find her favourite candles were scattered and alight, the flicker of their flames the only source of light within the space. As she stepped across the doors thresholds y/ns breath was stolen from her. Finding not only her favourite candles but countless bunches of her favourite flowers lining the tables and windowsill. Additional flower petals littered the floor, leading like a pathway to the fire escape.

As her head peaked from the window her ears were met with the soft melodic sounds of distance music. Climbing from the windowsill she ascended the staircase. Reaching the top and quietly stepping over the roofs lining y/n was blown away once again. More flowers decorated the space beautifully while a few small candles lit a table at the roofs centre. The music was clearer now, quiet but loud enough for her to recognise. Her favourite slow songs.

A bottle of wine and two glasses sat atop the small table in front of her, her fingers delicately traced the bottles label.

A warmth began to spread through her body from a presence behind her. Two strong hands gently moved over her waist, encapsulating her entirely in an embrace. Y/n gave herself to the hold, leaning back into his chest and relishing in the heat that fanned her skin from his hot breath and the soft trace of his nose against her neck until finally his lips came to connect with her nape. Her arms fell atop of his, where his fingers slowly moved against the fabric of her shirt. She sighed contently, the sound only just audible with the low hum of the music which played.

Her brows furrowed at the feeling of his lips and one arm leaving her body. The light pop of the wine bottles cork and the trickle of liquid filling two glasses, generously, which followed was enough to bring the smile back to her lips and finally she opened her eyes again to accept the beverage before her.

Though one hand still remained attached to her hip George moved to stand in front of her with a sly grin as he clinked their glasses together ceremoniously.

"You've been busy today" she smiled, sipping her wine. "You've been busy everyday." His face was stern at the thought, heart no less heavy as he watched her head fall at his words. The hand on her waist came to cup her chin, bringing her attention back to him. His thumb gently stroked her jaw as he spoke, "Did you think I hadn't noticed?". Tears fell from her eyes. His expression bore so sorrowfully into her soul she felt laid bare. "I'm sorry" "It's not your fault, sweetheart." A soft smile replaced the concern filled expression he wore moments ago, "I just wish you'd give yourself a break. Talk to me if something's the matter."

Her cheek pressed against his palm as he wiped away the stray tears, but more fell as she closed her eyes.

"Come here", George grabbed her glass, setting both drinks down on the table, and lead her away a few paces. He pulled her into his chest, one hand on her waist while the other held hers in a firm grasp. She looked at him confusedly, only causing him to smile cheekily back. That's when he began to lead her in a slow dance. Y/n chuckled at this, unable to help the eye roll and wide smile to stretch upon her face at how cheesey this all now seemed.

Gazing back into his eyes fondly they continued to sway in time with the gentle melody which filled the air. Y/ns cheek rested against Georges chest as his chin laid atop her head. Fresh tears lined her eyes now. Different from the ones before. Tears of love. Pure, unfiltered and all consuming.

They held close together like two shadows in the dark, illuminated solely by candle light. The spark in their chests burning like a flame, lighting the night for them in an entirely other way. Rekindling the love in their hearts that hadn't been felt in so long.

"I can't believe you did all this for me" y/n voiced honestly, unable to see how she was deserving of such a guesture.

"This is for me right? I didn't just spoil some intimate night with your mistress did I?" She joked looking up to him. "Funny." George rolled his eyes at this.

"Love, everything I do is for you." "You're really laying on all the charm tonight aren't you? Wine, candles, dancing..." Y/n quipped, loving every second. "Pouring it on strong and smooth. Just like you like it." He leant down, capturing her lips in a deep kiss.

Arms wrapped around his neck as others rested around her sides. The kiss was broken in pieces as y/n tried to speak but George was reluctant to let her, only a word coming through at a time, he understood her nonetheless, "Where's Fred tonight?" She'd asked. This question successfully putting an end to his neediness for their lips on one anothers. Leaning back with a raised brow, an expression which read 'really?'.

"You know, as inseparable as we are love, I was sort of hoping we could do this without him actually." He chuckled. Y/n rolled her eyes. "He's out. Out of the apartment and out of our way." His lips found hers again while she smiled.

George rested his forehead against hers, "We've got all night long, so tell me what you want." Y/n stood, breathing him in while she thought. A decision made as a smile spread over her features. She licked her lips in anticipation, unable to hide the eagerness in her eyes. Feeling playful, she spoke in a teasingly slow and sultry tone, "What I'd love, more than anything is a nice, long, and hot bath." Georges brow raised along with his signature mischeivous grin. She placed a tender kiss to his lips, which he reciprocated and deepened hungrily.

George nudged her towards the fire escape, signalling for her to head inside and placing a quick playful slap to her ass as she left and he grabbed the wine from the table. With a flick of his wand the candles all extinguished and the music faded to an end.

Steam encompassed the white tiled bathroom as hot water filled the bath tub. Y/n stood at its edge, in only her white singlet and underwear - other clothes already discarded, tying her hair into a messy bun before checking the water weren't too hot. She'd taken a couple candles from the living room and scattered loose flower petals across the waters surface.

George entered quietly, leaning against the door frame, balancing the wine glasses in one hand as the bottle hung low in his other.

His eyes traced her neck, light condensation glistening over her skin. His head tilted, examining the rest of her body with a sigh. She turned, feeling his eyes on her to which she playfully raised an eyebrow. He smiled, running his bottom lip through his teeth before placing the wine by the side of the tub. He held himself straight, towering before her while his eyes fixed directly to her features.

Slowly brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear then letting his fingers trace down her neck and travelling down slowly between her breasts coming to the end seam of her t-shirt. Both hands gripped the thin material to pull it over her head.

Y/n now reached to undo his tie and unbutton his shirt. Leaving his torso as bare as hers. Fingers toyed with with his belt as the two stared into each others eyes ridding the final items of clothing. Y/n stepped into the water pulling George with her.

A content moan unashamedly voiced as they sank beaneath the water, heat immediately help to soothe her aching body. George sat behind her, running hands delicately across her body. Cupping hand fulls of water to run over her shoulders. The sensation causing her head to fall back into his chest. He took advantage of her position, lightly kissing the crook of her neck as his hands massaged her back then shoulders. Tension melting away with every dedicated and tender movement of his thumbs against her muscles. When the last knot had eased from her shoulders he pulled her into his body completely, laying back so she were beside him cuddling as they had so many times on the sofa.

Though the water surrounding them began to cool, things between them only got hotter. Starting with innocent and loving kisses to her temple and light touches tracing one anothers body, soon both knew they needed more.

Y/n made to straddle him. The kiss starting tenderly, filled with love, but in no time George was sitting upright leaning into her body as they kissed passionately. Hungrily. Y/n grinding slightly against his lap, chest pushed flush against his eliciting a deep growl from her lover.

He wrapped a firm grip around her body, lifting them both from the water and stepping out of the bath. Y/ns hands placed to his cheeks, kissing him feverishly while he made the blind journey to their bed. Y/n chuckled as he dropped them onto the mattress eagerly, soaking the sheets in the process. Their bodies entangled in perfect rhythm. With George paying particular attention to her wants and needs, ones he hadn't met in so long. She was a mess beneath him with every loving and gentle caress of her skin. Every soft whisper in her ear. The way his lips connected with her neck. Exploring her as if it were the last time he'd get to do so. Touching her so delicately as if she were glass figurine. Breathtakingly beautiful, but fragile and likely to break. His pace slow but firm, eyes scrunched tight together while his breaths fell heavy through parted lips. Relishing in the heat that fans his skin as she breathes his name. Pure ecstacy igniting the flame in their hearts further, burning under one anothers touch. Her nails rake his shoulders as they peak together. Arms shaking as he struggles to hold his body from hers. Breathless and heavy above her, his lips capture hers again in a slow and tired kiss.

They lay beside each other in the after glow, comfortable silence encapsulating them. Until George is pulling her from the bed at the talk of dinner, lazily throwing on a singlet and boxers as she pulls on his jumper and a pair of knickers.

He sits her at the dinner table while he reddied the meal he'd prepared earlier not expecting the nights events to unfold as they had but loving it either way.

Y/n sipped a fresh glass of wine contently, unable to wipe the love struck smile from her face. Staring into the deep burgundy which swirled within her glass, deep in thought over the man currently pattering about the kitchen. Reminiscing on the past events, ones from this evening to as far back as when they'd begun dating. Every thought completely occupied by him and him alone.

She was brought to the present by a plate being sat in front of her. Another of her favourites. George placed a gentle kiss to her cheek and whispered into her ear, lips pressing against her soft hair, before taking seat beside her. She bit her lip in attempt to contain the wide grin forming across her features at the words,

"Just like you like it."

[kiribaku-queen]

You’re Not the One

Pairing: Todoroki x reader, Bakugou x reader

Drama, Angst?, pregnant!AU, happy ending

Word count: 6.4K

A/N: I was supposed to upload this multiple Friday’s ago… But enjoy this quick but long oneshot I have made! Let me know what you think! Do you like having oneshots like this or the series better?

Summary: No one prepared you for motherhood. You didn’t even know the first step to being a parent. What’s even worse was that you were doing it all alone. Will you let a knight in shining armor save you from distress or will you let the father of your child come back in your life and have the perfect family you always wanted?

Bakugou arrived at your apartment all busted up. It was a rough day at work and all he wanted to do right now was lay in bed with you in his arms. He didn’t want to think about how he let a villain get away. Or how he had to defeat a group of people all on his own with no backup, causing all those cuts and bruises. Or how management came running and yelled at him for his attitude towards his fans. He didn’t need anymore chaos. He didn’t want anymore problems. But that’s not how life works does it?

“I’m pregnant.”

Of course you were. Bakugou took a deep breath in and violently let it out, running his fingers through his hair. No, he wasn’t happy. He was already overwhelmed with trying to become the best that he could be at his job. He didn’t need another inconvenience in his way.

You frowned upon seeing his reaction. That definitely wasn’t the reaction you were hoping for. You were expecting shock, for sure. But mad? Angry? Disappointed? Never in a million years.

“What’s with that reaction? Are you not happy?” you asked, shaking a bit. You already knew this wasn’t going to go well when you saw that he wasn’t scooping you up in his arms. He was pacing around the room now.

“I just can’t deal with this news right now.” He told you. You furrowed your brows in concern. Seeing how he was acting right now, you could tell it had to do something with work. Bakugou sat down on the edge of the bed and you joined him, gently holding onto his arm.

“Was it work again?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah. I’m already stressed out. I don’t need this pregnant news stressing me out even more!” he started to raise his voice. It wasn’t the first time you heard him raise his voice. You know he doesn’t mean to sometimes, but it always frightens you. He never put a hand on you when he was mad but when he gets like this, you just never know when he’s about to snap and finally do it. That’s how scary he could be sometimes.

“Well, I was hoping that me being pregnant would lessen your stress? Because it should be happy news?” It made sense to you. Having a baby with someone you loved should be the happiest news of your life. And after having a rough day at work, you would think that coming home to good news would be the highlight of the day. But it looks like you were wrong. Did you just make things worse for him?

“I don’t even know how to take care of a baby,” he huffed. You got up from the bed and comforted him from behind. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressed your chest up against his back, and laid your cheek on his back.

“You think I know either? We can both learn,” you tried to convince him. But it didn’t look like it was working. You started to become anxious and fidgety. This was not supposed to happen tonight. You pictured it so differently in your head and it was all going down the drain.

“No, I can’t take care of this baby,” he shook his head. That left a tight feeling in your chest.

“Cant? Or don’t want to?” you dared to ask.

“Don’t want to,” he replied softly.

“Katsuki!” you desperately called out his name. You heart was breaking. A lump was forming in your throat and tears were threatening to spill over.

“(y/n)!” he called out just as desperate. “I’m so overwhelmed right now! I’m loaded with paperwork. I’m constantly working over time. I don’t get days off. I don’t get breaks. I’m at the peak of my career right now. I can barely take care of you, how can I take of a child that requires more attention than you need on a daily basis?” That last one hurt. You stood there in awe at how he could say that so easily. You didn’t even know what to say. All of this was coming out of nowhere. You both stood still in silence. Bakugou was huffing and puffing by himself while you were trying to process everything he was saying and weighing out your options. If Bakugou didn’t want this baby, you had a few options ahead of you. But before you could think too much, your boyfriend said something that was beyond forgivable. “Get rid of it.”

“Bakugou Katsuki.” Your eyes snapped at him, sudden anger took over you. Out of all the things he could say, he just had to say the most hurtful thing. You could take the criticism. You could take all his anger, his confusion, and his fright. You could take his uncertainness right now because it was sudden news. Both of you never talked about having kids. It only makes sense that he was uncertain about his abilities about being a father. But this. This was going too far. It was unacceptable. No matter how much he didn’t like the idea of you being pregnant or how much he was unprepared to be a dad, he treaded across a forbidden place that was never meant to be crossed. “You take that back right now.”

“No. You either get rid of the baby or I’m leaving,” he gave you the ultimatum. But it was a no brainer.

“I’m keeping the baby,” you say confidently. You were more confident in your answer, more than ever. But that didn’t stop the crushing pain in your chest. The feeling was getting more intense the more you kept looking at him. Bakugou nods his head in acknowledgement. He picks up his work stuff and heads straight to the door. As soon as he opens the door, you scream out his name causing him to stop in his tracks.

“You walk out that door and I swear on my life, you will never see this child,” You threatened. You were shaking with anger, eyes glaring in his direction. Bakugou hesitates. He’s paused at the opened door. And for a split second, you could see a sliver of hope that he comes back to you. But you were wrong. He’s out that door, out of your apartment, and out of your life just like that.

 You were left utterly devasted and completely alone to raise the baby. Honestly, being pregnant was the easy part. What comes after that? Now that was a challenge. It was probably an understatement to say that raising your baby was a challenge. You were struggling. Raising a baby by yourself was hard. There were times when you didn’t know why your baby was crying in the middle of the night. Was he hungry? Did his diaper need to be changed? Did he just want to be held? But sometimes, you would do all that and he would still be crying, making you stay up all night and not get a wink of sleep. There are days were you can’t function properly because of the lack of sleep you would get.

And if that wasn’t enough, you were having a hard time financially keeping you stable. Diapers, formula, and other baby necessities were expensive. You were barely left with enough money to buy food or buy groceries. Maybe a few times a week, you wouldn’t get to eat anything because you didn’t have enough money. And you had to juggle between having a full time job and being a full time mom. You were constantly working around the clock. Everyday, you would be left physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. You can’t even spend time to yourself because you have to tend to your child.

You were rocking your child to sleep, watching as his eyes got heavier and heavier. A sad smile reached your lips but tears trickled down your cheeks.

“Mommy’s having a hard time,” you whispered to your son, sobbing. Yes, the pressure of being a mom got to you. It got to you so bad that you cried every night. God, you were so stressed out and miserable. But even though there were so many hardships that you faced, it was all worth it. It was worth going through all that just to see your son laugh and smile and grow. Despite all the frustrations you went through on a daily basis, you knew it was going to pay off in the end. You loved your son. He captured your heart as soon as he came out. Mommy was having a hard time but you wouldn’t change this for the world.

Just when life was about to get you down, things started to lighten up. You bit your lip and internally cheered when you found out that you had enough money for groceries. You actually had a lot of money left over to buy whatever you wanted. But you were starving. As soon as you got to the grocery store, you made up your mind to stock up on supplies in case you have one of those days again.

You put little Ryota in the seat of the cart and proceeded to go down all the aisles, getting everything you deemed necessary to store in your pantry. While you were at it, you might as well get ingredients to prep yourself a nice dinner for tonight. It’s been a while since you had an actual, homecooked meal.

“Alright, which one should I get baby?” you asked your son, Ryota. He wasn’t old enough to speak yet. Only babbling here and there. Yet, you were constantly talking to him like he could understand you. It was somewhat comforting. You held out two options for him to choose from. Ryota stuck out both his hands, gravitating to the one on the left. You smiled.

“Yeah, I thought so. Good choice, my love,” you squeezed both his cheeks and smothered him with kisses. You then put Ryota’s choice inside the cart and put the other option back. When you went to put that away, another hand was reaching in the same direction, making both of your hands bump into each other.

“Oh, I’m sorr – Shouto?” you began to apologize but once you looked up, you recognized that iconic hair and scar anywhere. He was tall. Taller than you remember. The middle of his hair was swooped backwards, showing his forehead. His build was as impressive as ever and he was carrying a basket of groceries.

“Ah, (y/n). It’s been a while,” he was just as shocked as you were. It’s been what, 7? 8 years? You haven’t seen each other since your school days.

“It has, hasn’t it? Have you been well?” you struck up a conversation. He gave you a soft smile and stuffed his free hand in his pocket. He hummed in response and looked over you shoulder to see your child.

“Looks like you’ve been doing well, too. What’s his name?” he asked, going up to your son and trying to make him laugh. It was working because Ryota seemed to look like he liked him.

“Ryota,” you responded, admiring the way Shouto was playing with your son. It was a weird feeling. You were the one always around your son. Sure, some people held him but it was rare for Ryota to be interacting with a male. It was weird, but a refreshing sight.

“He’s cute. Ah,” he stood up and faced you. “How’s Bakugou doing?” Ouch. He opened up a wound that you were trying to suppress for all these months.

“Oh, um… We’re not…” you tried to explain without it being too awkward, but it wasn’t working. Immediate regret showed on Shouto’s face. He looked back to Ryota and back at you, the realization sinking in. You guess you couldn’t blame him though. Ryota looked exactly like Bakugou. Dirty blonde hair and fiery, red eyes. A mini me of the man who broke your heart. But it’s okay, because now, a new man came into your life. Both of you also weren’t public about your breakup. It was messy anyway. Only a few people really know what happened.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay!” You interrupted him, waving your hands in front of you. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know. “Where you trying to get this?” you changed the subject, lifting up the box that you were putting away. Shouto glanced at the box in your hands and nodded. He took it from you and added it to his basket. Now you were both awkwardly standing there together, not knowing what to say. Ryota was huffing and puffing behind you, letting you know that it was time to go. You excused yourself and headed towards the check out aisle.

You bagged all your groceries and groaned in agony. You walked to the store and you really underestimated how much you bought. How were you going to carry all those groceries and carry Ryota. He can’t even walk yet. But you got to do what you got to do. You grabbed one bag and all of a sudden, it was pulled away from your grip. You looked up to see Shouto grabbing all your groceries.

“What are you doing? I can handle it,” you reassured him, but he wouldn’t budge. He continued to grab everything, and soon, all of your groceries were in both of his hands.

“You need to carry him. I can carry this for you,” he offered. Well, it wasn’t really an offer. You bit your lip because you did need help, but you also felt bad for making him carry your belongings. But Shouto was already at the exit, waiting for you to catch up to him. Not wanting to waste any more of his time, you picked up Ryota and chased after him.

Thank god your apartment wasn’t too far. Shouto graciously carried all those bags for you, setting them down on your kitchen floor. You rushed to put Ryota in his crib since he fell asleep on your shoulder on the walk home. When you set him down and made sure he was comfortable, you returned to your kitchen where Shouto was standing.

“Thank you so much, Shouto. I really appreciate it,” you thanked him, still feeling bad and guilty for allowing him to do such a task.

“It’s no problem. It looked like you were struggling,” he says, letting you know that he didn’t mind at all. “Well, I should get going. Call me if you need more help.” He says before making his way to the door. Before he exits your apartment, you were quick to stop him.

“Do you want to stay for dinner? As a thank you for bringing up my groceries?” you offered. He stood there for a minute, debating on whether or not to take the offer. But you gave him those pleading eyes because you had no else to thank him. After much facial persuading, he eventually took up on your offer and stayed for dinner.

Halfway through to making dinner, Ryota woke up crying. You were about to go comfort him when you saw Shouto already on the move. He cradled Ryota in his arms and rocked him back and forth until he calmed down. That shocked you. You weren’t expecting him to take action like that.

“Ah, I can take him” you tried to take Ryota away from him but Ryota was holding onto Shouto tightly. Huh? Your son didn’t know Shouto yet he was hanging onto him like his life depended on it. You playfully frowned and Shouto chuckled.

“I can take care of him while you cook,” he said. You were reluctant at first, but eventually agreed. There was no use fighting Shouto when he already has his mind set on something. So you continued cooking, checking up on the boys once in a while. Bu seeing Shouto play and laugh with your son made you smile. And when you say smile, you’re smiling hard. Like grinning from ear to ear. The sight was cute and heartwarming. You couldn’t thank him enough for looking after your son because you finally got a break to yourself. Even if you were cooking, you were put into a state of mind where it was just you. And you could focus on yourself and just enjoy the cooking process.

Having Shouto over for dinner and letting him look over your son was a great break for you. But it was time to get back into the groove again. You were about to go grocery shopping again for tonight’s dinner when a knock was heard on your door. Strange. You weren’t expecting company. You opened the door with curiosity and was surprised to see Todoroki Shouto waiting at your door.

“What are you doing here?” you questioned him with surprise. He lifted a bag filled with different kinds of ingredients.

“Let me make you dinner,” he says. “To thank you for cooking me dinner yesterday.” You smiled at his kindness, but you had to respectfully decline.

“But dinner yesterday was to thank you for carrying my groceries!” you explained but he wasn’t having it.

“And now I’m thanking you for thanking me,” he shakes the bag, waiting for you to let him in. God, you couldn’t say no to that face. And so you let him in. From then on, he was coming over every day. Cooking dinner started to become a routine, both of you alternating nights on who cooks when. Sometimes you would even cook together. With Shouto coming over, you were able to get more alone time and relaxation from taking care of the baby. But that also means you were spending more time with him. The more he came over, the more you bonded with him. Let’s not forget Ryota. It was an understatement to say that he liked Shouto. Every time he’s over, your son would cling to him every chance he got. And soon, Shouto was coming over for more than just dinner. You thought it was because he wanted to spend time with Ryota. Afterall, he was treating your son like he was his own. But you soon came to realize that that was only half the story.

 4 years later

Bakugou had the day off so he made his way to his nearest grocery store for some snacks. He hadn’t heard from you since that day. After he walked out, he needed a while to get back to his senses and calm down. But by the time he was ready to face you again, you had disappeared from his life. You blocked all types of communication from him and moved apartments. He didn’t think of you often. But whenever he saw a child with their mother, that’s when he started thinking of what ifs. And if you were doing okay. Did you have the baby? Or did you end up losing the baby? Was it a boy or girl? What was their name? Did they look like him? Many questions ran through his mind that he knew won’t get answered any time soon.

He grabbed a basket and went straight to the snack aisle. On the way there, he noticed a woman was having trouble getting something from the top shelf. He was thinking about ignoring her and keep on his merry way. But there was something about her back side that seemed familiar. And he couldn’t ignore his hero instincts to help those in need. He went over to her and grabbed the she was reaching for and handed it to her. But when he looked at who the woman was, his heart skipped a beat.

It was you.

Looking at him with wide eyes.

“(y/n)…” he muttered your name out of instinct. You quickly grabbed your item and stuffed it in your cart.

“Bakugou… thank you,” you muttered right back. God, he hasn’t seen you in so long. And you looked great as ever. Healthy. Happy. He looked around you. No baby.

“You’ve been good?” he asked. Shit, why was this so awkward. You nodded, giving him a small smile that was obviously very forced.

“Mhm, you?”

“Yeah.”

Silence.

The curiosity got the better of him. He just had to ask.

“What about the baby-”

“There is no baby,” you interrupted him very abruptly. Bakugou physically felt his heart crack. There… was no baby? Fuck, now he felt like the worst person in the world. He stared at you, completely and utterly devastated by the news. His eyes were wide with shock, his mouth hung low. He wanted to say something so bad, but the words just got caught in his throat. Bakugou just couldn’t believe that there was no baby. And after he said all those awful things to you. The end result was no baby?

“(y/n), I’m-” he wanted to apologize so badly, but was interrupted by the shouting of a young child.

“Mommy! Can I have this one?” the blonde child asked you, showing you the bag of chips he found. Both of you looked down at the child. Wait a minute. Blonde hair. Red eyes. It was like Bakugou was looking in a mirror. You, eyes wide with panic, looked down at your child then back at Bakugou. You grabbed the bag from your son and gave him a sweet smile.

“Sure, honey. Let’s go home now okay?” you told your son. You looked back up at Bakugou, giving him a curt bow and took your sons hand. Your son was looking up at Bakugou with big, curious eyes but eventually followed you out. Bakugou didn’t have time to react. All he could think about was, that was his son. He looked exactly like him. There was no way that wasn’t his son. And it was too late. You were gone. He was gone. He ruined everything. A single tear dropped down on his cheek as he realized what he missed out on.

 You took your son to the playground so he could get some exercise in. Sitting on one of the benches, hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, Shouto, you watched as your son played tag with a few of the other neighborhood boys. Since that day you ran into Bakugou, your mind was running wild. You straight up lied to his face about Ryota. But he didn’t say anything. Maybe he thought it was someone else? God, but he said ‘Mommy’ right in front of him. Maybe he thinks it’s not his? But they look exactly alike. You internally groan and leaned your head on Shouto’s shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?” he chuckled at you, petting your head lovingly.

“Just things,” you reply shortly. You didn’t want to bring up the topic of your ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be the father of your child. Shouto would get jealous and you didn’t want to cause anymore drama.

“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?” Gahh, he knew you too well. He squeezed your hand in his in reassurance. “Look, if he wanted to be in Ryota’s life, he would have tried to contact you by now. And even if did contact you and wants to be in his life, then, I would respect that.” You look up at your boyfriend with a pout and concern eyes.

“Are you sure?” you ask. He looks down at you and gave your cheeks a nice, hard pinch.

“Yes. Ryota deserves to have his biological father in his life,” he reasons. Okay, fair enough. But he didn’t even want to be in your son’s life in the first place. It was so simple for him to abandon you while you were pregnant. And after all the hardships you had to go through, now he wants to be a present father?

“He doesn’t have to know who his real father is,” you say, crossing your arms across your chest.

“(y/n),” Shouto says your name in a warning tone. But you put your defenses up.

“What? I don’t know if I even want him in Ryota’s life,” you confess. Shouto wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in close.

“Well, think about it. And if Bakugou comes around, you can either accept or reject him. I will be there to support you every step of the way. And if he tries to make a scene, I’ll be there to stop him,” he promises you. That comforts you a lot to know that Shouto will be there for you no matter what. He was always like that. From the moment he entered in you and your son’s life.

“Okay, I love you,” you whispered, puckering out your lips. He laughs and kisses your duck lips.

“I love you, too.” And gives you a few more kisses. You look back at the playground to watch your son play. Panic starts to rise in you. You look to the left. Ryota wasn’t there. You look to the right. He wasn’t there either. You sit straight up and scan the playground one more time for your child, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Ryota?” you call out his name. Shouto also realizes that Ryota was missing. He’s already up on his feet, calling out your son’s name and searching the playground. Your lips began to quiver and your legs began to shake. This was not happening right now. Shouto frantically whipped his head around, trying to see if he could get a glimpse of Ryota running off. That’s when he saw him. As soon as he turned his head to the side, he saw Ryota heading into an alleyway. Immediately, Shouto was running full speed in that same direction. You saw Shouto running and ran after him. He was too fast for you to catch up, but you ran anyway

Bakugou was on patrol duty for the day. He hated these days because all he had to do was roam around the city streets to make sure everyone was kept safe. He would catch villains here and there, but patrol duty was so boring for him. Until today. He was walking down the sidewalk in his hero costume when a little boy suddenly came out of nowhere, almost making him fall on top of him.

“Oi, kid! Watch where you’re going!” Bakugou scolded the young one. The child looked up and Bakugou froze in his tracks. This had to be fate. His son… Your son just so happens to run into him. Today out of all days? The blonde boy is looking up at Bakugou in awe.

“Mister? Are you a hero?” he asks. Bakugou smirks and kneels down so that he’s at his level.

“I am. What’s your name kid?”

“Ryota!” Ryota says his name in full confidence, grinning from ear to ear. Ryota… so that’s his name. Bakugou could feel his heart warm up at the sight of the boy.

“Little Ryota, where are your parents?” he asked. He looked around but it looked like Ryota ran off by himself. Looks like it was his job to help find his parents. That means finding you. He was starting to get his hopes up. If he ran into you, then he could try to apologize and maybe, just maybe, start things over.

“Ryota!” a man shouted the boy’s name. Bakugou looked up and an old classmate of his was scooping up Ryota in his arms. “Don’t run off like that! You had us scared to death!” he scolded the boy, but was relieved that he wasn’t hurt.

“Sorry, daddy,” the boy apologized. Ha? Daddy? Bakugou looked at the man and scoffed. Both men looked at each other and the atmosphere got chillingly cold.

“Bakugou,” the man said his name as a greeting. Bakugou frowned.

“Half-and-Half bastard,” What a surprise. So you were dating Todoroki now? It was like a staring competition between you two. A deadly staring competition. Todoroki cleared his throat and adjusted Ryota on his hip.

“Thanks for stopping my son,” Todoroki thanked the pro-hero. But he said it in the most monotone voice ever. No emotion behind it whatsoever.

“Tch,” Bakugou just scoffed and looked away. Todoroki’s son? Nah, that wasn’t right. That was his son. Todoroki took that as a sign of ‘you’re welcome’, and walked away with Ryota in hand. Bakugou just stared off in their direction. Thank god he did because Ryota laid his head on Todoroki’s shoulder, but he was waving at him.

When Ryota was returned to you, you held him in your arms, falling to the ground in tears. You scolded him for running off without telling anyone and to never do it again. But refused to let him go because you were so afraid for his life. You couldn’t let anything happen to him.

All three of you returned to your apartment. After a year of dating, you and Ryota moved in with Shouto in his apartment. You felt bad because his apartment was so big, nice, and fancy but he insisted you both move in. So that Ryota can have a better space to grow up in. If it was for Ryota’s sake, you couldn’t pass up on the offer.

Shouto was putting Ryota to bed while you were finishing up cleaning the dishes. You finished up the last dish and dried your hands when a knock startled you. You looked at the clock. Why would someone be here at this hour? You weren’t expecting anyone. When you opened the door, you were shocked to see Bakugou standing there.

“Bakugou! What are you doing here? How did you know I lived here?” you questioned him, stunned.

“He’s mine, isn’t he?” Bakugou ignored your question with a question of his own. He was staring at the floor. You wanted to deny, deny, deny. But you were too ashamed to say anything. So he tried again. “Ryota.” He said, this time looking up at you. “Ryota is my child, isn’t he?” You bit your lip and nodded your head. You heard him sigh and he ran his fingers through his hair. “You lied to me.”

“What choice did I have?”

“You could have said the truth,” he argued.

“And then what!” you raised your voice, your emotions started to get the better of you. “So you could come running back to be in his life?” your voice cracked at the end from your throat tightening up because you refused to cry. And you tried your hardest not to get too loud, in fear that your boyfriend was going to overhear. But little did you know, Todoroki was leaning against the wall in the hallway, listening to everything.

Bakugou didn’t say a word. Because it was true. He wanted to be in his son’s life. He knows that he fucked up big time. But now, he wanted to right that wrong doing. But you shook your head.

“No. No, I’m sorry Bakugou. That’s not going to happen,” you denied him.

“That’s not fair,” he whispered, his heart breaking once again. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t know it was going to hurt his bad.

“Not fair?” you let out a soft laugh. Unbelievable. “You want to talk about not fair? You left me. Alone. While I was pregnant. And I had to raise that child all by myself,” you were sobbing now. You were remembering all those hardships that you had to face alone and it was all pouring out. “Do you even know how hard it was? How hard and exhausted I was every single day? And now you want to show up when he’s all grown now? That’s not fair.”

“I know. I know. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I messed up big time. But I want to make it right now. If you let me be in our son’s life, I’ll prove it to you that I can be a good dad. That you can trust me and-and,” Bakugou was so desperate. But you stopped him.

“You were my everything, Bakugou. I was so excited to start this small little family with you. But you destroyed all my hopes and dreams.” Bakugou bit his bottom lip to try to stop himself from crying, but was failing miserably. No matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. He violently wiped his teary eyes with the palm of his hand. You gave him a sad smile as you reminisced what you two had together. “I think it’s best if we… if you just forgot about us.” You suggested. Bakugou couldn’t accept that. At least not yet.

“Please, please just think about it?” he begged, his eyes telling all. When you looked at those eyes, you could tell how serious he wanted this.

“Fine,” you said after giving a bit of thought. “I’ll think about it. Go home, it’s late.” You told him. Agreeing with you, he nodded his head and went on his way. You gently closed the door and took a deep breath in. You weren’t expecting this. You guess you were, but not this soon. You turned around to go to you room, quickly wiping your tears away before Shouto could see. But when you looked up, Shouto was already there, arms wide open and eyes looking at you with concern.

“You okay?” he asked as you embraced him in a hug. He kissed the top of your head hugged you close.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, barely managing to say anything. But you weren’t. That night you couldn’t sleep. Your mind was racing with thoughts. This whole situation was bothering you and you couldn’t seem to think of anything else. There was only one way to relax your mind. Sneaking out of your shared bed with your boyfriend, you quickly put on your bathing suit and took a dip in the pool. Did you mention that his apartment came with an outdoor pool right next to the living room? It was convenient when you needed a place to clear your mind. You rested your arms on the edge of the pool, looking out into the city. You let the city lights and the noise of traffic distract you. So much that you didn’t even hear Shouto come up behind you. You squealed when you felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist. He laughed in your ear, slowly kissing the back of your head, making its way down to your neck and then you shoulder.

“Can’t sleep?” his deep, husky voice whispered in your ear.

“No. Did I wake you?” you softly asked back and he shook his head. He held you in silence, both of you looking at the city of lights. Now you were able to relax. His touch was comforting. It was as if his touch put a spell on you to make you relax.

“Hey,” Shouto started.

“Mhm?” you hummed in response. He took a pause.

“Let’s have a kid,” he proposed. You looked up at him and he was already looking down at you with the most loving eyes. It took you off guard, but it was somehow making your heart flutter.

“Us? Like you and me?” you asked, just to make sure you were hearing things right. He nodded his head and cocked his eyebrow.

“Why? Don’t like that idea?” he teased you. Your face flushed red and you waved your hands in front you, then rested on his chest.

“It’s not that! I was just thinking we would…” and you started to trail off. You’ve discussed this topic before but not too much. You were nervous what he was going to say. “…get married first?” You glanced up at your boyfriend and his expression remained unchanged. God, sometimes you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Finally, a smirk was plastered on his face.

“If you were just a little patient, maybe you wouldn’t have ruined the surprise,” he says which leaves you confused. You saw him take out a frozen block from his trunks. Confusion still prominent on your face, he unfreezes the block to reveal a beautiful velvet box. Shouto froze the box to keep it from getting wet when he was in the water. And when it was time, he would use his other side to unfreeze the box. He opens the box easily with one hand and a gorgeous diamond ring was sitting inside.

“Shouto,” you gasped, admiring the ring. He takes it out the box and slips it on your ring finger.

“Marry me?” he asks. You cup both of his cheeks to bring him into a smothering kiss.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” you kept repeating, every time giving him another kiss. You loop your legs around his waist and he traps you in between his body and the edge of the pool. Both of you spend the rest of the night making out and having a bit of fun in the bedroom.

 Bakugou shows up at your apartment the following week while you were eating breakfast. His eyes were puffy and he looked a mess. Your heart goes out to him and felt like you had tortured him enough. After talking to your fiancé about the whole situation, he convinced you to let him in and allow him to step up as the father to your child. But with conditions.

When you answered the door, Bakugou immediately saw the ring on your finger. He swore he didn’t see that before. If he was being honest with himself, seeing that ring on your finger broke his heart a little bit. Seeing you engaged to Todoroki, seeing you happy made him jealous that that wasn’t him. Because he should have been in his place. He should have been the one you were engaged to. He should have been the one you were happy with. He should have been there the entire time. And he wasn’t. For what? Because he was having difficult times in his work? At least he was relieved to hear the news that you were going to give him another chance at raising your son together. He was going to make up for what he missed out on. Todoroki joined you at the door and stuck his hand out for Bakugou to take.

“Welcome to the family.”

[kookiesjoonies]

rule breaker — jhs | part ten.

rule breaker | part ten: ramen & froyo.

a/n: this chapter is quite a few days late, but i literally had the worst case of writer’s block of my LIFE. i started this chapter, n then completely scrapped it. and i’m glad i did, bc the first draft was SHIT. LMAO. anyway, come talk to me abt hoseok n yn please. i want to hear your thoughts. especiallyyyy after this chapter! thank u all for reading! xo

main pairing: choreographer!hoseok x idol!reader

side ships: vmin, namkook

word count: 5.1k

warnings: fluff, angst, wet dream (dunno if that qualifies as a warning, but uhhh just in case lmaodskjd), masturbation, squirting

— SERIES SUMMARY

your career as an idol comes first, end of discussion. and to make sure that you stay on track, you implement two foolproof rules to abide by:

rule #1: no distractions. rule #2: no mixing business with pleasure.

and those rules seem simple enough to follow. that is, until you develop a crush on your new choreographer.

Dance practice was over and you felt like you’d just run a marathon. No, wait, scratch that. You felt like you’d run five marathons. Dancing with Hoseok was no joke. He always pushed you to work harder, to do better. And any time you were convinced you couldn’t perfect a move, he’d encourage you and offer you a thousand reasons as to why you could.

Both of you were drenched in sweat. Your grey crop top soaked and dark in certain areas, perhaps revealing a bit too much of what was underneath. Hoseok’s hair was sticky and wet against his forehead, and he’d pushed it back since practice ended.

You’d have been stupid to ignore just how attractive such a simple gesture made him look. Still, you tried your hardest to push such thoughts out of your mind. You shouldn’t be thinking of him in such a way. But you blamed it on the sensual dance routine that you’d just completed with him.

Jimin was just supposed to be late to practice, but he ended up having to skip it all together. Which meant that every single sexy move you were supposed to do with your best friend, you’d done with Hoseok instead.

At first, it was awkward. You didn’t know where to put your hands, and he was hesitant to put his on your body as well. Eventually though, the two of you relaxed into one another. The feeling of his fingertips on the bare skin of your hips was exhilarating, as well as the feeling of his length being pressed against your ass while you pushed back against him.

The way that he watched you in the mirror, the way way his pupils had clearly dilated, sent immediate relief washing over you. You weren’t the only one affected by the routine the two of you were performing. But at the end of the day, it was just that. A performance.

And that’s what you’d keep telling yourself, even if deep down, you didn’t believe it even for a second.  

“Well, I don’t know about you,” Hoseok began, lifting the bottom of his muscle tank top up to his face to wipe the beads of sweat trickling down, “but I worked up quite the appetite.”

Your eyes shot down to admire his perfectly sculpted abs that were practically begging for your touch, your tongue poking out to wet your lips at the delicious sight.

“Y/n?” Hoseok was speaking again, this time albeit a little louder, which snapped you out of your trance.

Embarrassed, your neck straightened up so that you could now look at the man towering above you face to face. And you willed your cheeks not to turn red, hoping and praying that he didn’t catch you checking him out.

“Huh?” That was all you could muster up, unsure of what he’d even said to begin with.

To your surprise, he offered you a chuckle in response.

“I said I was hungry. You want to go grab lunch?”

The two of you’d never hung out outside of the studio before, so you were a little taken aback by his suggestion.

He could sense your hesitation, and he stuttered as he tried to play it off nonchalantly.

“Or, uhm— we don’t—, we don’t have to. I just figured—“

You cut him off, a small smile creeping it’s way onto your face. He really was adorable when he rambled.

“Hobi, we can get lunch. I just wish I didn’t have to go out in public looking so gross.” You were half joking, half serious.

Your hair felt greasy, you weren’t wearing any makeup, and your athletic clothes were sweaty and sticky. So, you were definitely not fit to be seen in public at the moment.

“You don’t look gross.” Hoseok was quick to reassure you, matching your smile with a wide one of his own.

“No?” You asked, wanting him to compliment you one more time. Even though, you weren’t sure why you wanted him to do so so badly.

“Nope!” he shook his head, “you look like you’ve been working hard.”

You internally groaned. Not exactly the kind of compliment you were hoping for, but it would do, you supposed.

“In that case, did you have a place in mind for lunch? Or..?”

“There’s this place down the street that has the best cooked ramen!” you found it adorable, the way he was so enthusiastic even while talking about food, “Is that okay? I mean— do, uhm— do you like ramen?”

A tiny giggle left your mouth before you could stop it, and you offered him a quick nod of your head.

“I love ramen.”

“Great!” he grinned, “let’s go then!”

Turns out, Hoseok was right. This place did have the best ramen. You were sure you could slurp up at least ten bowls of it.

Your choreographer was sitting across from you at the small round table. The place was quaint, small, and yet surprisingly busy. Various K-Pop songs boomed through the speakers overhead, and the hustle and bustle of the restaurant workers never seemed to cease. The sound of the other diners mumbling bounced off of the walls, and the aroma of the foods being cooked in the kitchen were to die for.

“So,” Hoseok spoke up after practically inhaling a few bites of his ramen, “do you like the place?”

You didn’t hesitate in answering, “Yes! I can’t believe it’s been so close to the studio for so long and I never knew about it.”

“You’re welcome.” He winked at you, a playful gesture that for some reason, had your heart doing flips in your chest.

You gathered a small bunch of noodles with your chopsticks, bringing them up to shove the food into your mouth.

“Aren’t you nervous people will recognize you?” Hoseok questioned, taking a sip of the soda that was sitting beside of his bowl.

You shrugged, chewing and swallowing the bite you’d just taken before answering him.

“It’s just part of the gig, you know?”

“No,” he admitted, “I don’t know. How do you do it? How do you deal with people constantly invading your privacy?”

“It’s not easy,” you answered honestly, “but I’ve been doing it for almost six years now, so. I’d like to think I’ve gotten used to it.”

“You handle it well. The way you carry yourself, even with all of the pressure you’re under, it’s admirable. And the fact that you’re so— so kind, so down to earth, even with the millions of fans you have.. it’s amazing, really.”

His series of seemingly never ending compliments were successful in creating flutters in your stomach. You were sure your cheeks and the tips of your ears were tinted pink, and your spine tingled as you happily took in every single one of his words.

“Hobi,” you couldn’t hide the grin that was now plastered across your face, “you’re too sweet.”

This time, it was Hoseok’s turn to blush. You’d said something so simple, yet it had the apples of his cheeks tinged red. He’d hoped you hadn’t noticed. But you did, which only made you want to continue your compliments further. If it meant seeing him like that, all flustered and shy, you’d compliment him twenty four hours, seven days a week.

Even if, technically, you shouldn’t be trying to make him blush. But at that exact moment, you couldn’t be bothered to give a single fuck.

“I mean it,” you continued, swirling the few remaining noodles around in the bowl below you, “you’re so kind to me, always. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

He glanced away from you then, turning his attention to watch the waiters walk in and out of the kitchen. You didn’t miss the dark shade of red that had taken over his entire face. And yeah, you found it undeniably adorable.

Before you could say anything else to him, a familiar sounding song blared from the sound system above you. You couldn’t help but to laugh, shaking your head as you listened to the low beat of take me.

Hoseok faced you again, a smirk present as his ears perked up to listen.

“Hey, that sounds kind of familiar.”

“Never heard this song before in my life.”

You kept a straight face, for the most part. But Hoseok didn’t miss the glimmer of playfulness in your eyes.

“Ahh,” he decided to play along, finishing up the last few bites of his meal, “a shame you haven’t heard it. The artist who sings it, she’s truly something special. Insanely talented, an incredible dancer.”

“Maybe she’s just an ‘incredible dancer’ because she has such a good teacher.”

“Nope!” he was quick to shut you down, “she’s talented because she’s hardworking and she never settles for anything but the best.”

If you didn’t know better, you could’ve sworn he was flirting with you. And maybe he was. Or, maybe you just wanted him to be? But then, why did you want him to be? Your brain was scrambled, too many thoughts running a million miles a minute.

The sound of footsteps approaching your table pulled you out of your own head, and standing before you was a tall, lean yet muscular man with dark hair. He had a freckle just under his bottom lip, which you were quick to note was quite cute. You assumed he was a fan, but as soon as he addressed the man sitting in front of you as Hobi, you quickly realized he was here for him and not you.

“Here’s that movie you wanted to borrow.” The younger boy handed a disk over to his friend, and you watched the exchange curiously.

“Ahhh! Thank you, Jungkookie! I’ve been wanting to see this for ages!” Hoseok quickly stuffed the film into his bag at his feet.

“Hmm,” you observed, tapping your manicured nails on the top of the table, “Jungkook, I presume?”

He seemed shock at the mention of his name. Or rather, at the sound of familiarity laced in your tone.

“Uhm, yeah..?” he cocked an eyebrow, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

Your attention turned to Hoseok, and you pointed a finger at Jungkook.

“Is he the one who thinks I’m a diva?”

Hoseok had a mouthful of soda, and damn near did a spit take at your obvious call out.

“You told her?!” Jungkook slapped his hyung’s shoulder, and you watched as Hoseok soothed the abused spot with his hand.

“It just slipped!” The older male was quick to defend himself, and you couldn’t help but to laugh at the whole ordeal.

“Guys,” you said, “it’s fine! Jungkook, I’m sorry that you think I’m a diva. I’d like to think I’m not, but your own opinions can’t be helped.”

“She is not a diva, I promise. She’s anything but.”

You couldn’t help but to smile wide at the sound of Hoseok defending your name.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Ahhh, I shouldn’t be so quick to judge, or to assume. I don’t even know you. I apologize.”

He bowed in front of you, and you waved him off.

“I promise, it’s fine,” you assured him, “I accept your apology. Any friend of Hoseok’s is a friend of mine.”

He sighed, relieved.

“In that case, could you get Jimin’s autograph for me? I’m like, his biggest fan.”

Hoseok groaned before bringing the palm of his hand up and dragging it down his face. You just laughed, nodding your head once in response.

“I’ll see what I can do. You should come by the studio with Hobi sometime, you’ll probably run into Jimin there.”

“Really?!” He lit up like a kid in a candy store, and it seemed as though his older friend had had enough.

“Okay!” Hoseok said, shooing Jungkook away from the table, “You’ve fulfilled your purpose of dropping off the movie. Thank you!”

“Awww, but hyung!” Jungkook pouted, “I was hoping I could join the two of you, and you know, tell her a secret of yours since you told her one of mine.”

You perked up in your seat, gaze shifting to Hoseok as you eyed him curiously.

“What secret?” You asked, hearing Jungkook snicker to your side.

“Ignore him.” Hoseok groaned.

“Alright, alright. I’ll leave,” Jungkook held his hands up in front of him in defeat, “but you should tell her, is all I’m saying.”

“Tell me what?” You asked, intrigued and confused all at the same time.

Hoseok shook his head.

“Nothing, he’s just an idiot,” he insisted, laughing the entire situation off, “we should uhm— grab froyo after this, if you’re not busy, I mean.”

“Ugh, the key to my heart.”

He smiled at your immediate acceptance, flagging your waiter down and digging in his pocket for his wallet.

You did the same, unzipping your purse to retrieve your credit card.

“No, no, Y/n. I got it! My treat.”

“Hoseok, I can’t let you—“

Before you could argue further, the waiter was walking away with Hoseok’s money. He was unbelievable.

He paid for froyo, too. Despite your arguing.

The two of you were walking along the river, enjoying your cups of frozen treats. It was spring, nearly summer, so the weather was just right. The sun was shining beautifully on the water beside you, not a cloud to be found in the sky. It truly was a beautiful day.

“It doesn’t shock me that your favorite color is yellow.” You started, dipping your spoon into your birthday cake flavored yogurt.

“Why not?” Hoseok retorted, bringing a spoonful of his own dessert up and to his lips.

“Because it’s a bright, happy color. And you are a bright, happy person.”

He flashed you that big, toothy grin that you’d grown to adore so much.

“Alright then, what’s your favorite color?”

“Red.” You answered without hesitation.

He shook his head, quiet laughter exuding from his throat.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he insisted, “red just matches your personality perfectly.”

You cocked a brow, licking a bite of froyo from the spoon.

“How do you figure?”

“You’re full of fire, full of passion. A force to be reckoned with, you go head first into everything that you do and you don’t stop until you’ve achieved your goal.”

“You got all of that from the color red?”

“Mhm.” He just nodded at you, his smile never once faltering. Your damn heart was doing the flipping thing again and you feared it would leap right out of your chest if he looked at you like that for a second longer.

“Okay,” you said, dipping your spoon into the bowl, “you have to try this. It’s so good.”

You lifted the plastic utensil up to his mouth, and he only hesitated for a moment for allowing the sensation of birthday cake flavor to flood his taste buds. His eyes lit up, and his tone was enthusiastic.

“Mmm! That is good! I’m not usually a giant fan of cake flavored things, but I’d eat that.”

You fake gasped, bringing your free hand over your chest.

“How dare you! Birthday cake is the best flavor!”

“Pffft, no way!” he was quick to shut you down, gulping down another bite of his own treat, “brownie batter is. Here, you try.”

He was bringing his spoon up to your lips in an instant, and you poked your tongue out to give it a test lick. Usually, chocolate flavored ice cream wasn’t your favorite. But this was incredible.

“Aww, man! I like yours better!” You pouted, and Hoseok’s heart sank at the sight.

He knew you were being playful, but still, he couldn’t help himself.

“Here,” he held out his bowl to you, “we can trade.”

You shook your head, refusing the gesture, “I can’t take your food!”

“Yes you can! Please, for me. I want you to enjoy this.” His voice was kind, sincere. How could you say no to that?

“Only if you’re sure.” You said, hesitantly switching your bowl out for his.

“I’m sure.” He smiled at you again, and you felt like you’d been grounded down to the earth once and for all.

You didn’t make it home until the sun was about to set. Having too much fun with Hobi, you decided you could afford to stay out for a bit. He really was wonderful company, he seemed to make even the simplest of things fun. You’d hoped you’d get to hang out with him like that again in the future, the near future, to be exact. It was different than when the two of you were in the studio.

There, you were working. But today, you were out having lunch and enjoying spending casual time together. It felt like it went on forever, yet not nearly as long as you hoped it would last all at the same time.

However, you were happy to finally be in the comfort of your own home. Practice had kicked your ass today, and you were exhausted, grimy, and in desperate need of a shower and a nap.

Taehyung wasn’t home either, so you were home alone and excited by that fact. Very rarely did you ever have time to yourself and yourself alone. Except, you weren’t alone. And you didn’t know that until you walked into your master bedroom and saw Jimin sprawled out on your bed.

He nearly gave you a damn heart attack, had you shrieking like a banshee and clutching your chest.

“Jimin! What the fuck?!”

“It’s your fault for giving me a key.” He was flipping through a magazine, unfazed as ever.

“You could’ve texted me and told me you were coming over!” You scolded, and he just grinned.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“I hate you sometimes.”

“Liar.”

You walked further into your room as you rolled your eyes, picking up a pillow and tossing it forcefully at his head.

“Hey!” He whined.

“Why did you show up here unannounced?” You questioned, lying down beside of him on your king sized bed.

“Wanted to see how practice went.” He turned the page, and you peered over his shoulder to see what he was reading. Of course it was a fashion magazine.

“Fine.” You answered simply, and your best friend was shutting the catalog instantly.  

“Damn, one syllable is all I get? Must’ve been better than I thought.” His smile was mischievous, and you had half a mind to smack it right off of his face.

“We danced. I learned the routine, and you did not. Which means you’ll have to work extra hard trying to catch up tomorrow.”

He rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what you were trying to do.

“Dude, shut up. You know I could learn it in my sleep, and you also know the ‘routine’ isn’t what I’m asking about.”

“Jimin,” you groaned, “don’t start.”

“Was it hot? Did you get off on grinding on Hoseok?” He wiggled his brows, and you flicked his nose with your thumb and middle finger.

“Ow!” He cried out, bringing a hand up to rub over the sore spot you’d just created.

“Don’t ask stupid shit like that.”

“Come on, Y/n. It’s me. You can talk to me about this shit.” He tried to convince you, and somewhere inside of you, you wanted to.

Because yeah, maybe you did get aroused from Hoseok’s hands on your ass. And maybe you did get a little wet when you were grinding against his thigh.

But who wouldn’t have? He was a fairly attractive man, after all. It didn’t mean anything. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

“I’m going to take a shower.” You quickly changed the subject, swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

Jimin couldn’t help but to roll his eyes.

“You’re so fucking stubborn.”

“I know. Are you spending the night?”

You heard him sigh, a sad sigh that made your heart clench.

“I would, but... I don’t want to make Tae uncomfortable.”

“I get it. But you’re welcome to stay, you know that. This house is plenty big enough, and we always hang out in my room anyways.”

“Yeah, I know. But I’ve already pissed him off, or whatever. I’m sure me staying here would just add to that.”

You frowned, wishing that you could do something, or say anything to ease his obvious hurt.

“I love you, Chim.”

“Love you.”

Normally, you’d stay up until at least midnight. Tonight, however, you were exceptionally exhausted and were lying in bed by nine.

Your satin sheets felt extra comfortable underneath you, and your eyelids were heavy. Friends played on the big, wall mounted television in front of you, and the sound of your air conditioner running was lulling you right to sleep. Before you knew it, you were slipping into a state of blissful unconsciousness.

You weren’t sure how you’d ended up in Hoseok’s apartment. And you definitely weren’t sure how you’d ended up nearly naked underneath him on his couch. You were squirming below his touch, his blunt fingernails lightly scraping down your stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

His hips were rutting into yours, Hoseok’s hardened length rubbing along your soaked, clothed core. You were a moaning mess, slews of curses and praises spilled out of your mouth, letting him know that you were fucking loving everything that he was giving you.

“Hoseok, please don’t stop.” Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper as you clutched onto his back in an attempt to keep yourself grounded. You felt like you were floating, like you were in a completely different time and place.

“God, I’ve waited so long for this,” he was growling lowly into your ear, his fingers descending south and flicking the thin strap of your thong against your hip, “waited so long for you.”

You yelped at the feeling of the string stinging your skin, your shriek turning into a whiny moan as you felt his hand begin to slip into your panties. You couldn’t wait for him to finally be where you needed him most. You didn’t care if his fingers were inside of you, his tongue, or his cock. You just needed some part of him filling you up. You needed it in the same way that you needed oxygen to survive, and you feared that you would die if he didn’t touch you right here, right now.

His head was hovering above yours now, and you were sure he was about to lean in for a kiss. Which had your pussy clenching around nothing. It had just occurred to you that you’d never kissed him, and all you wanted was to taste him. You were sure he’d taste delicious, sickeningly sweet.

Instead of his lips pressing against yours, though, they parted. And he began repeating your first name over and over again like a mantra, gradually getting louder and louder as the seconds ticked by.

One final yell of your name had your eyelids shooting open, the sound of Hoseok’s voice being replaced by the low tone of your brother’s. You blinked once, and then two more times for good measure. It took you a whole minute to realize that you were at home. In your bedroom, not in your choreographer’s apartment.

“Tae?” your voice was groggy, “what time is it?”

“Past ten. I could hear you from down the hall, it sounded like you were in pain so I came to check on you,” he said, cocking his head to the side as he stared down at you, “must’ve been one hell of a nightmare.”

Embarrassment immediately came over you, and you were thankful for the dark lighting of the room because you were sure your face was similar to the color of a tomato.

“Yeah— uh, just a... bad dream. I’m good.”

“If you’re sure.” His voice was laced with genuine concern, and you almost laughed. Such a protective older brother.

“I’m good, Tae. Swear.”

He nodded, mumbling a goodnight to you before turning to leave your bedroom.

You called out to him before he could shut the door.

“Hey, wait a second!”

“Yeah?” He was confused again, and you worried your lower lip before you spoke.

You weren’t usually one to meddle in his personal life, but this time, you felt like you had to. Or, that you at least had to try.

“You need to talk to Jimin. He thinks he made you upset, or mad. At the very least, you should tell him you aren’t angry with him.”

“Noted.”

That was all he said before he was shutting your door, and you couldn’t stop the dramatic roll of your eyes. Typical Taehyung.

You pushed your hair back and out of your face, grimacing as you felt the beads of sweat pooling on your forehead. In your half asleep state, you’d almost forgotten what you’d been dreaming about. You let out a groan as the images flashed through your memory.

Not only were you dreaming about Hoseok, but it was a wet dream. Surely, you hadn’t actually gotten aroused by it.

You bit down on your bottom lip before sliding your hand underneath your duvet, pressing your fingers against your underwear to test for any dampness. You gasped as you were greeted with soaked panties, hissing through your teeth as your fingertips barely grazed over your clit.

Before you really knew what you were doing, your hips were bucking up and into your hand. You pushed the cotton fabric to the side, letting your middle finger drag along your slick folds. You sighed at the feeling, your head tilting back as your eyes screwed shut. It was almost unbelievable how drenched you were just from a fucking dream. And a dream about your fucking choreographer, to beat it all.

You moaned at the images of Hoseok during practice earlier flooded your mind. He was so hot, and so sweaty. The way his fingers curled around your thighs had you wondering what it would feel like if he was the one touching you right now instead of yourself.

Maybe it was wrong, but you didn’t care. You kept yourself focused on Hoseok as you used your middle finger to circle around your throbbing bundle of nerves, whines and praises of his name slipping out of your mouth.

You dipped a finger down to tease your slit, imagining the entire time that it was him. You slipped a single digit into your heat and keened at the sensation. Hoseok’s fingers were much longer than yours, and you were sure he could have you cumming with them in no time.

Still, you decided to work with what you had and began to fuck into yourself until you were knuckle deep. You added a second finger and moaned at the stretch, your thighs beginning to shake already.

“Fuck, Hoseok!”

You picked up the pace of your fingers, curling once you found that spot that drove you absolutely mad. Using your free hand, you allowed your index and middle fingers to vigorously rub at your clit.

It was too much, too soon. Your walls contracted around your fingers, and your legs convulsed. Your thighs were trying to squeeze together and you were arching off the bed as you felt your lower stomach knot up, fire spreading from head to toe and making your toes curl.

Your orgasm hit so hard that you were practically screaming, Hoseok’s name being the only word left in your vocabulary. This was harder than any orgasm you’d had in a long time, and you could feel your juices squirting out and all over your hand and wrist. You squealed at the feeling, using your fingers to fuck yourself through your high.

Your breathing was erratic, and stars were circling above your head. You groaned as you pulled your hands away from your cunt, wincing at the emptiness.

An arm rested over your eyes as you attempted to stop panting. Slowly, you felt like you were back on earth again and the black dots you were seeing went away.

There was no fucking way that just happened. You did not get off while thinking of Hoseok.

You were furious. And you wished that you were mad at yourself, but the only reason you were angry was because you’d had to get yourself off. You wished it would’ve been him doing it instead.

Against your better judgement, you grabbed your phone off of your nightstand. It was eleven now, and although Hoseok was sure to be asleep, you needed to hear his voice. For what reason? You weren’t sure. Either way, you were scrolling through your contacts to find his name, pressing the call button with a bit too much enthusiasm.

When he answered the phone, his voice was raspy, deeper than usual. You were right, he’d been asleep.

“Hello?”

“Uhm, hi.” You said, voice shy and almost inaudible.

“Y/n? What time is it? Is everything okay?” He sounded worried.

“I’m okay! Uhh, it’s past eleven. I’m sorry for waking you, I didn’t mean to.” 

Yes you did.

He was beginning to sound a bit more awake now, and you heard him yawn on the other line.

“It’s alright, I just wasn’t expecting you to call. Or, call this late.”

“Yeah..”

It was silent for a few seconds, neither of you knowing quite what to say. You couldn’t exactly tell him that you’d just made yourself squirt to the thought of him. And he wasn’t about to tell you that he was glad you called.

“What are you doing up?”

“Uhm—“ you stumbled, trying to come up with any excuse other than the truth, “I couldn’t sleep.”

You heard him chuckle, and it was as if all of your worries and nervousness evaporated at the sound of his laughter.

“Not that I’m not flattered, but.. why did you call me because you couldn’t sleep?”

You groaned internally. Why did he have to ask such questions?

“I just... I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you, is all, I guess.”

“Okay.” He seemed satisfied with your answer, and you sighed in relief.

“Hobi?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you FaceTime me until I fall asleep?”

As badly as you longed to see him in person, you figured that this would do for now.

“Absolutely.”

He was calling you instantly, and you smiled as soon as you laid eyes on him. His hair was disheveled from sleeping, and his cheeks were a bit puffy. Suddenly, the other side of your bed felt a bit too empty. And you wondered what it would feel like if he were laying beside of you.

↼ masterlist ⇀

a/n: if you’d like to be added to the tag list, just send me an ask, message, or reply to this post! let me know what you think of the series, i love hearing your feedback. enjoy! xo

tag list: @ppersonna @neouihobi @vanteatj1n @55west81st @jjiminah @cesthoney @vaehyungsworld @ggukiyo @devotedlywriting @consensual-trashtalk @w1tchcraftt @threedecadesofawkward @chocobetterknot @americano-sprite @yoongisabby @hobi-love @justpeachyjoon @excuseme-youpretty @sunkissed725 @amoreguk @koostime @cobbiebaexqueen @imluckybitches @taefect94 @parkmaeri​ @bts-7-forever​ @gukniverse​ @untainted-memories​

a/n: tumblr won’t let me tag certain people for whatever reason. so if you’ve asked to be tagged and don’t see your name, that’s why! i apologize. :/

[kutemouse]

Never Really Over

Disclaimers: I made and edited the above gif myself. That’s why I’ve used the tag #btsgif. Feel free to use, just please give me credit for the edit! I used some of the lines from Katy Perry’s lyrics to inspire and write this, but they belong to Katy.

So this imagine was inspired by the Katy Perry song “Never Really Over,” which, when I heard it for the first time, reminded me of the way my bias works. Yes, I am a Taehyung bias, but every two weeks or so, one of the other members of BTS wrecks me, and I mean WRECKS me to the point where I think, “This is it. This is when I change my bias.” But then Taehyung does something or posts a picture, and I instantly zip right back to him. I’ve been this way since I started stanning BTS, idk why, low-key, I think I’m secretly an OT7 fan.

Age Recommendation: 16+

Warnings: Sweeeeaaaaars (like always), ANGST with a happy ending, Taehyung being a sweetie-pie, no smut, might make a part two with smut idk, honestly, I hope this makes you laugh more than anything.

Word Count: 2,187

Summary: It had been two years since you broke up with Taehyung, and you were finally at the point where he stopped randomly popping into your head. But that didn’t stop him from randomly popping up on your social media, wrecking you into oblivion, and making you do stupid things.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Oh no. Not again. I’m not falling into this rabbit hole again, not today, not ever. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again, that I’d draw the line and never think of you again, and I did. Or so I thought.

I tentatively scrolled down my feed back to the video of you singing your heart out to a sea of adoring fans, feeling a twinge in my chest as your voice reverberated throughout the stadium. How I missed that deep rumble, the one that drew me out of sleep each morning with a chuckle and a kiss.

Shaking my head, I attempted to push all thoughts of you out of my head. I didn’t miss you. I didn’t miss anything about you, no-siree, I was over you. Ugh, who was I kidding? I couldn’t even go on the internet without seeing you. I was losing it.

“Fuck this,” I thought, standing up from the bench and heading towards my favorite cafe. The bell over the door tinkled, bringing a memory to the forefront of my mind.

We sat in the booth in the far corner so we could have as much privacy as the cafe would allow. “It’s happening, jagiya,” he murmured, taking my hand. “I’m going on tour. I won’t be back for nearly a year.”

“I know,” I muttered in reply, looking down at my lap. I couldn’t be angry, hell, I couldn’t even be sad. We both knew this was coming. Ever since BTS’s popularity shot through the roof, he’s been getting more and more busy, constantly at practice, song-writing, or travelling.

“Hey, we can make this work,” he said, his voice soothing over the pain I was beginning to feel. “I’ll always come back to you, jagi.”

He reached over and grasped my cup, taking a sip from it before squinching his eyes up cutely. I laughed and playfully grabbed for it back. “Hey, that’s mine!”

“I don’t even know how you can drink this,” he said, still grimacing. “Coffee is so bitter.”

“It’s an acquired taste,” I said, giggling.

“Miss?”

A voice brought me back to reality, and I blinked a couple times before looking at the barista. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

She gave me an amused smile. “I asked what you’d like to order.”

“Oh, uh… Hmmm, an iced Americano for today, thanks.”

“You got it. I’ll have it ready in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

I paid then sat down in a booth to wait, fiddling with my phone. My finger touched the fingerprint pad, powering on my screen to show that video once more. Cursing, I closed the app and jammed the thing back into my pocket.

“Miss? Your Americano is ready.”

I stood and took the cup from the girl, walking quickly back outside and sitting down on the bench again. I just couldn’t escape you. It’s like no matter what I did, you were there. You were always there… and not just because your face covered the internet the way clouds covered the earth. You were always in the back of my mind.

I felt my self-control slowly trickling away as I drew my phone out of my pocket, clicked it on, and opened a new message, typing in your name as the recipient. I never deleted your number, scared of breaking the last possible tie I had to you.

Ugh, no, stop. It’s done. It’s been done for two years now. I left my phone in my lap, trying and failing to concentrate on drinking my coffee instead. We parted amicably, with both of us acknowledging that our relationship was over due to you not being able to be the boyfriend I needed. Still, for weeks after we separated, I couldn’t help jumping every time someone knocked at my door, thinking it was you, or stopping guys on the street who even slightly resembled you. That had all faded away, though, so why were my nerves on fire once more?

Our relationship was terrible, or at least it was towards the end. You were constantly gone, and didn’t have time to call or video-chat me. You had to send me text messages on the down-low, scared your company would find out about us and force us apart, or that delulu fangirls would find out about me and come after me. We only spent time together twice in the last six months of our relationship, and I was beginning to get sick of explaining to my friends and interested guys why I was unavailable to date. The second time I saw you, you came over to my apartment wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a baseball cap.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically as he shed his disguise. “I had to circle the block a couple times… make sure I wasn’t followed.”

I threw my hands up. “This is insane!”

“What is?”

“This! This relationship! Taehyung, I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t normal!”

His mouth dropped open at my proclamation. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and turning away.

Taehyung grasped my arms with his large, soft hands. “Please,” he said, his voice cracking. “Let’s just talk about this.”

And talk we did. For hours. And we both came to the same conclusion: That our relationship was no longer working and in order for us to both be happy, we needed to let each other go. I reached up and touched my lips, remember the way you kissed me for the last time. Hard and deep, with both large hands on either side of my face, you kissed me until my heart broke cleanly in two.

Yet, even after all the pain I went through, I was surprised to find myself missing you even weeks after our break-up. Yeah, we were a mess, but it was the best mess I’d ever been in. By the time I figured out that life with you in it, as seldom as that actually was, was still better than life without you entirely, it was too late. You had moved on, and were becoming one of the biggest names in k-pop, no, in the world, ever. I had moved on, too… or so I thought.

Sure, I dated other guys. I even had a relationship that lasted a good six months… but none of it ever felt right. I broke up with the guy after he hinted he wanted to move in together, realizing it would never feel right no matter how much I tried to force it.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked it open, staring at your name at the top of the text. What would happen if I just sent a simple, “Hey?” I let myself indulge in my imagination, thinking about the way you’d ecstatically respond, instantly sparking a conversation and lighting up my deadened heart. After a few days of texting, you’d ask to video chat, and I’d see the face that cracked my heart and soul into pieces, but this time, you were intent on mending all that. You’d come over just like old times, and we’d spend night after night together, intertwined so close we practically become one… But then you’ll leave. Again. Work will call, or your manager, or one of the other members, and you’ll leave spouting useless apologies and empty promises. Then I’ll have to get over you again.

Draw the line, I told myself. Draw it. No more. Yet even as I was thinking it, the side of me that missed you put a toe over that line, inching towards completely diving headfirst into the shit show I knew we’d forever be.

I opened the social media app again and watched that video of you singing for the third time. “Fuck it,” I thought, switching back to my messaging app and typing out a message.

Me: Hey. Just caught myself thinking about you and wondered how you’ve been. I miss you.

I stared at it for a good thirty seconds, my thumb hovering over the send button the entire time. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed down, slowly opening them to see the circle going ‘round and ‘round, trying to send.

Wait, no. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t trip up after two whole years. I frantically tapped on the message, trying to delete it, but then the dreaded check mark appeared. Sent.

“Fuck!” I cried out, startling the closest passerby.

“Sorry,” I muttered, looking down at my lap, my cheeks flooding with warmth. How the hell had you trickled back in? I drew that line, I did, I did, but now I’d tripped up. I sipped from my coffee cup, keeping my eyes on my phone screen the entire time. Nothing. You were probably busy. Hell, you’d probably changed your number for all I knew.

With that thought comforting me, I threw my cup into the nearest recycling bin and began the five-minute trek back to my apartment. I spent the rest of the day distracting myself with studying, my fingers hovering over my phone every now and then, tempted to check it. At around the same time the sun was going down, my phone finally beeped and I snatched it up.

Damn. It was just my classmate asking a question about the essay we were assigned. I rolled my eyes and chucked my phone somewhere on the floor before flopping backwards on my bed. It was over. Has been for quite some time. I didn’t know why I expected anything more.

My phone beeped again, and I sat up so fast I made myself dizzy. It beeped again, and I yeeted myself off the bed and frantically began searching through the ocean of clothes that littered my floor. Shit, where did that damn thing go? I hadn’t chucked it that far, had I?

I dug through the random piles of my belongings, making even more of a mess as I hunted my phone down. It started ringing, and I whirled around at the sound, seeing my screen shine through a random tank top. I stumbled towards it, hands outstretched, and grabbed at it, the phone slipping through my hands like soap and falling back to the floor.

“FUCK!” I yelled out just before a knock at my door made me whip my head around.

Leaving the damn phone, I stumbled out of my bedroom and towards my front door, taking a second to run a hand through my curls in an attempt to smooth them down, before I whipped open the door.

My mouth dropped open in a gasp, eyes widening as I took you in, one hand still holding the phone to your ear, the other shoved sheepishly in your jean pocket. “Hi,” was all you said. Mouth still open like a gaping fish, I wordlessly stepped aside to let you in.

Closing the door behind you, I finally managed to get some words out. “How… Wait, why…?”

You chuckled, the buttery-smooth deep bass of your voice causing tingles to break out all over my body. “I got your text, Y/n.”

“Wait, was that… that was you calling?” I asked, my voice coming out strained. “Sorry I didn’t pick up, I was-”

“It’s fine,” you said, waving my apology off. “I know you’re probably busy… and honestly, I don’t know why I’m here other than the fact that I…”

You trailed off, and I swallowed, anticipating the dreaded words. You were here because you needed to remind me that we were done. That there was nothing between us anymore. That you had a girlfriend.

“That I… Well, that I miss you too.”

For the second time that evening, my mouth dropped open. “You what?” I squeaked.

You chuckled once more, but this time, you had a trace of uneasiness in your chocolate-brown eyes. “I miss you, you dork.”

I didn’t bother trying to speak anymore, I just acted. I rushed towards you, grabbing both of your cheeks, and kissed you with everything I had. You grunted in surprise before grabbing me by the waist, steadying both of our stances, and moving your lips around mine, fully kissing me back. The second we separated, you drew me back in, even going so far as to swipe a mischievous tongue over my bottom lip, causing me to groan in pleasure.

We finally pulled apart, panting a little, your eyes bright, a wide smile on your face. “It’s been two whole years, though,” I said.

“Yeah, and the entire time, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” you murmured, peppering light kisses along my cheek. “I won’t let you get away this time.”

I sighed and curled up against your chest, once again falling hard for the way my head seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of your neck, and the way your hands seemed to meld with my love handles. It was like we were made for each other.

Well then. I thought we were done, but I guess it’s never really over, is it?

[drink-n-watch]

Genre: Slice of life, action, comedy, education

Episodes: 13

Studio: David Production

The human body is a marvel of bioengineering. Every second a universe’s worth of microorganisms and cells work in harmony to keep the whole thing going. Billions of processes take place for every single little thing, from breathing in to growing out hair. Heck just trying to keep the place free of all the parasites, viruses and bacteria that would like to claim it for their own, takes a highly specialized army. Human beings have been around for thousands of years and we’ve spent most of that time gazing intently at our belly buttons. Yet, we’re only just beginning to unravel the mysteries of our own bodies. One thing’s for sure, there’s never a dull day in the immune system.

I have been looking forward to this one for a long time. Even before it aired, I was intrigued by the premise and excited by the team behind the project. I’m usually atrocious at predicting what will be a good series and as such I was doubly delighted to see such generally positive reviews trickle in during its run time. Now I finally had the chance to see what all the hoopla was about.

Ok…maybe hoopla is a bit of an oversell. Bloggers I like, liked this show. To me, that’s a big deal.

I’m going to try not to make all the picture platelets…no promises

I was a little wary about a series that concentrates on everything that can go wrong with your health. In theory “diseases, the animation” doesn’t sound that pleasant. Yet if I could describe my emotional takeaway from Cells at Work in a word, it would be “comforting”.

Part of that can be ascribed to the production choices. The character designs are deeply familiar looking. In fact I noted continuously that bacteria and virus invaders looked exactly like Dragon Ball villains. Presenting such a generally unique idea behind an instantly recognizable facade goes a long way towards making the show easily accessible for long time anime fans.

There’s a straightforwardness to all the elements. Couples are crisp, not overly bright, mostly primary and used to distinguish characters with narrative explanation. Sound design is clean and music cues direct. The voice actors (who are all pleasant) even use classic anime voicing tropes such as exaggerated gaspings and raspy undersells in ridiculous situations.

you see it too, right?

You do occasionally get a slight impression of discount. Things lack depth. Light and shadowing is minimal and you get no sense of wider space from the images. Environmental sounds are minimal and sound design s generally a little *thin*. Not that any of this took away from my enjoyment, in fact, it may have added to it. The animation on a budget feel has its own charms. To me this series wouldn’t have worked as well as a sleek and polished gem or a super stylish standout. Cells at work isn’t the glamourous supermodel, it’s the girl next door.

This simple earnest aspect is one of the things that endeared this series to me. It manages to remain utterly uncomplicated. From a narrative perspective it’s completely episodic in nature, adopting a monster of the week formula from start to finish. The monsters in this case being invading pathogens, injuries and the like. It got to the point where I started to seriously wonder whether the person they were in was ever healthy at all? Honestly poor kid catches every single thing out there.

Although there’s a pretty wide cast, the story follows red blood cell and white blood cell (characters are named by function, more on that later) which remain pretty much entirely undeveloped. Once again, Cells at Work eschews such extravagance as intricate characterisation instead opting for basic archetypes with a few exaggerated quirks which are constantly repeated.  But this also fits perfectly. Said quirks are either amusing or charming enough to remain entertaining and the characters easily coast on the strength of charisma.

adorable

In fact, every single fault I could find for Cells at Work doesn’t really matter in the long run. Because it’s a kid’s show. And a darn good one at that. I know there’s a stigma attached to the expression but there shouldn’t be. Entertainment meant for children Needs to be exceptionally paced and dynamic to appeal to shorter attention spans. The lightly educational context (which was surprisingly accurate but the way) works best in episodic form allowing facts to get repeated for better retention by the audience, while giving enough freedom to tailor every episode to the lesson at hand. A complicated overarching storyline would have muddled the message.

The same can be said for particularly layered characters. They needed to be fairly simple in order to convey a clear message while remaining entertaining. And in this, Cells at Work success better than most series I’ve seen. In fact, one of the partners where I work has two young children who love anime and this is the only show I’ve ever actively recommended to them. With one caveat…

This series is violent. And not cartoon violence either. Bloody visceral no holds barred violence. It’s even acknowledged and commented on in universe. The white blood cells mercilessly murder any invaders with glee and pride in their work and the act is animated in all its gory detail. I guess in a way it’s a pretty fair portrayal of what actually happens. However, if you are not a fan of open violence (or would rather not subject kids to it for some reason….) this one is not for you.

white blood cells uncharacteristically clean

It says something that I found the weird clash of children’s edutainment and Scorsese violence hilarious every single time…

Cells at Work is a bloody violent series about all the things that can and probably will kill you from the inside. It’s very comforting. You should watch it with kids this holiday season.

Random thought – was I the only one who thought Helper T Cell really looked like Kazuma from Noragami?

Favorite character: Platelets (I have a heart people)

What this anime taught me: White blood cells can pass through blood vessel walls 

Sip happens, it’s o.k. to wine.

Suggested drink: Elderberry Vodka Immune Cocktail

Every time we see Red senpai – take a sip

Every time anyone talks about “this world” – take a sip

if it’s white blood cell – take another

Every time white blood cells act like maniacs – cower

Every time Helper T Cell eats cookies – get a snack

Every time anyone gets covered in blood – take a sip

Every time Red gets lost – take a breath

Every time a new type of cell gets introduced – pay attention

Every time the mention of histamine makes you itchy – take a sip

Every time Red does not need to be saved by white – finish your drink

Every time we see platelets – YAY!

  Cells at Work -How Far Educational TV Has Come (12 days) Genre: Slice of life, action, comedy, education Episodes: 13 Studio: David Production The human body is a marvel of bioengineering.

[perksofbeingsidnee]

Perks of Being Sidnee Episode 2:

I have decided to put all of my problems here because I know that no one I know personally will see this unless I let them read it. 

This will be a series of the perks of being me, Sidnee.

Now on with episode 2...

So this episode I’ll talk about another toxic person in my life. Let’s call her Spice. I met Spice when I was in seventh grade. We were okayish friends but didn’t really start to hang out until last year.

Something you should know about me is that I’m an AP kid. All of my friends are mostly in AP and I travel around with the same people all day. My sophomore year I had a hard time and decided to give myself a break during my junior year and take only one AP class. 

Because of my dumbass decision, I didn’t have lunch with my group of friends. The science I took last year was a CP course and I was only really friends with one person in the class. Spice. We were closish and had lunch together. We would chill in the school’s library during the lunch period. Over the course of the first semester and the fact that we were already friends, we became closer and started to hang out more outside of school. 

One weekend we decided to paint rocks, cause that was a thing at some point in time. Somehow I ended up spending the night. Her mom wasn’t home for most of the night which left her place for us to do whatever. 

Spice is really into photography, more specifically modeling. I enjoy doing people’s makeup and my own. I was already planning to do her and her sister’s, we’ll call her Mega, makeup, so she decided she wanted to get pictures of it. I thought it was fun and went along with the idea. We all put on cute outfits that matched our aesthetics and she used their camera to get photos. 

By the end of the night, we had a lot of different photos. I’ve never really like being in front of the camera or liked photos of myself, but I did like some of the ones we had gotten. I was looking to get a new profile pic for Instagram so I thought I would use one that we had gotten. Spice then came up with the idea of sharing an Instagram profile to post all of our photos and future photos. 

Again I went along with it for two reasons. One: the pictures we had gotten weren’t actual garbage. Two: it would be a place for me to post my makeup looks. In my head, at the time, it sounded like a great idea. 

We made the profile and posted the photos we got of each of us. If they posted something, I would post a makeup look. We had a few followers and I thought everything was fine.

But shit happened.

Before I go into any more detail about what has happened between Spice and me, I want to go over a few things. I have now realized that Spice is a very toxic person who I don’t necessarily want to be friends with. I wish her all the best in life, but we were never meant to be close friends. There were a lot of red flags that I should have noticed. They now scream at me ‘SIDNEE YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS’. 

Let’s go through them shall we:

1. The fact that she was never interested in what I was into

If you do not know me personally, you should know that I am a huge fangirl. I’m not afraid to admit it. I love music and a shit ton of bands (5sos is my fav no shame). In the past three years, I’ve been to three music festivals and seven concerts and I’m going to see Waterparks in literally a week, just to give you a glimpse of how much I spend on bands/music. I’m constantly finding new artist and a lot of the time I’ll show my friends if I think they will like them. Of course, since I thought we were close, I would try and show Spice new music. 

Spice was a huge K-pop fan, still is. I don’t understand it. Personally, I can’t enjoy it. Sure, it has a good beat and is easy to dance to (btw I’m a dancer), but I like listening/analyzing lyrics and your girl doesn’t know Korean. 

Whenever I would go to Spice’s house, we would watch youtube on her TV cause she can do that. I would always suggest music to listen to or videos to watch. She would let me show her like one or two, but she never liked it or cared to pay attention. Eventually, she would just play what she would want to watch or listen to (which was mostly K-pop) and not let me watch anything I would want to.

I understand that it was her house and all, but I was a guest. It would have been polite of her to let me watch a few of my videos as well. I also understand that my videos aren’t always going to be enjoyable to others. I don’t have a problem with that. You aren’t going to offend me if you think 5 seconds of summer is complete trash. You are completely entitled to your own opinion. It just bothers me now that she never really cared to watch or pay attention to what I wanted to show her. I put up with all her suggestions. 

2. She ditched my Christmas party to go to someone else’s party

I have always been the planner of my group of friends. I plan all of our events/outings. For these last two years, I’ve done Christmas parties. The first party I ever hosted was my birthday party (which Spice went to) with all of my friends. I thought it went pretty well. I invited a lot of my friends from my different friend groups and everyone meshed well. 

Later that year, when Christmas rolled around, I decided to throw a Christmas party with those same friends. I had so many fun things planned and everyone was supposed to bring something for the potluck. During lunch, Spice and I talked about the party and what she was going to bring. I guess Spice and Mega’s friend, let’s call her Sausage, was having her birthday party that same day, however, Spice didn’t sound like she was invited and was still planning to attend my party.

The day before my party, Spice cancels on me. Keep in mind I have her signed up to bring food for the potluck. Her excuse was that her mom told her she couldn’t go anymore and she was grounded. Mega and Spice’s mom is a bit strict and the excuse seemed legitimate. 

I figured out how to fix the situation with the food and thought I had everything under control. I felt bad that Spice could no longer come.

It’s the day of the party. Everything goes fantastic. The activities I had planned ran smoothly and I had a great time with my friends. We’re all taking stupid Snapchats of the party and posting them to our stories. By the end of the night, after everyone leaves, I go on my Snapchat to see what they had posted. 

Then I land on Spice’s story.

Guess where she was.

At Sausage’s party. I was pissed. I wasn’t jealous that she had ditched my party for Sausage’s. No, I was angry that she had lied to me about why she wasn’t going to mine. Sure, I wasn’t thrilled that she wasn’t at mine because she said she was going to go to it, but she could have been straight up with me about it. 

The Monday after that weekend I confronted her about it and she said that Mega couldn’t go unless she went which I thought was absolute bullshit. Except I put it behind me and moved on. No need to dwell on it, I guess.

3. Desperately tries to fit in

Spice is a for sure wannabe. No doubts. She tries so hard to be popular and look trendy. Honestly, I don’t care enough about her now to keep up to date on what she is trying to do now, but last year she was going to try out for cheer. I told her thousands of times that she shouldn’t and wasn’t going to make the team for multiple reasons. Of course, she ignored me, and like expected she didn’t make the team.

Those are the biggest red flags I can remember before shit happened.

So onto our falling out.

There was another girl in my science class that I am now friends. We started to hang out more and I invited her to sit with Spice and me at lunch. Spice and this girl, we’ll call her Trickle, were friends before Spice dropped out of the class at the semester. I thought Trickle joining us wouldn’t be a problem.

Every day we would sit in the same place during lunch. From first to third quarter it was the same table. But all of a sudden during the fourth quarter, Spice and Mega started to move locations almost every week. I would have to search for them. And there was sometimes not enough seats for Trickle to join us. 

Slowly but surely I stopped sitting with them because I wasn’t going to leave Trickle by herself. It seemed like they were trying to ditch us on purpose and it sort of ticked me off because it was out of the blue. 

Remember our shared Instagram page. Yeah, out of nowhere she deleted all of my photos, changed the username, and started to post her own makeup looks on there. She didn’t give me a heads up on any of it. I would occasionally go on there to see how my posts were doing and if I had gotten any new comments. One day I went to find it and everything was different.

When I would post something on there, I would instantly delete it from my camera roll in order to save storage. Everything that I had ever done/posted was gone. To say that I was angry would be an understatement. I only had one makeup look saved. One out of like the ten or so I had posted on that account. 

It pissed me off more was that she was posting her own makeup looks on there. Let me tell you a few things about Spice’s makeup. It isn’t good. And it isn’t like she has shit products. I literally gave her an extra set of brushes for free that my stepmom had given me. She just had an extra set lying around and asked if Spice wanted them after I sent her a picture of the eyeshadow look I did on Spice. And she has like three Morphe pallets and Tarte shape-tape concealer and a lot of products you can find at Ulta and Sephora. I get my products from fucking Target and occasionally Ulta. Makeup is expensive and I’m broke. 

She acts like she is this talented guru when she isn’t.

Just, it pisses me off that I ever spent time dealing with her. 

Anyways, that is it for Spice. There is probably a lot more I could go into more detail about, but I’m lazy and don’t want to so... yeah.

xx

Sidnee

[book-o-scams]

How did you come up with Bro Show? How long have your been drawing/animating for? What is your favorite piece that you have drawn?

SORRY ABOUT THIS LONG ANSWER, I guess asking me three questions at once is a good way to get 6 paragraphs from me, haha.

Before BPS came out, the release date kept getting pushed back due to the production difficulties, and this made me very anxious about whether or not the show would be able to end properly.  ‘Take This Ed and Shove It’ had been a depressing series finale to the show’s original depressing final season, while ‘A Fistful of Ed’ closed out the final episodes with an interesting arc that made me worried the movie would undo the good news.  Most stressful of all was that Bro would be added to the cast, and since I had already deduced that he was violent with baby Eddy, I was worried they would disprove my understanding of the character, and that would surely ruin the whole movie for me. I caught wind of which fans had already managed to get spoilers out of AKA, and got Bro’s design and personality spoiled for myself months ahead of time, and was relieved that my predictions were coming true.  With that monkey off my back, I began realizing how perfect Bro’s position is for being key to the kids’ backstories!  Bro represents the previous generation of Peach Creek kids, and the toxicity he injected into the neighborhood is important because it trickled down through the people outside the Eds’ perspective, until it led to the hyper-aggressive children of the present-day cul-de-sac.

With how little information there was beyond the basic timeline of who seems to have already met Bro before BPS, my first Bro-centric origin story ideas were focused on Ed and Sarah, Nazz, and Jonny.  Then, getting dressed one morning near the end of high school, suddenly a bunch of thoughts clicked into place and formed the headcanon that would become the Bro Show pilot.  Most of it was just from thinking a LOT about ‘A Town Called Ed’, I realized that it can’t JUST be Bro, there’s also got to be some toxic influence from the Eddy family in general, as well as the Kanker family, so I started thinking about it as a show about the families that made Eddy and Lee.  I had also been trying to think of another unseen character as important to any of the characters as Bro and realized Mama Kanker plays a similar role to the Kankers as Bro does to the Eds.  And then Edd’s line about Eddy being a pedigree seeped in and I realized what an amazingly horrible twist it would be for Bro to be one of the Kankers’ fathers and then I couldn’t ignore the similarity between Bro and Lee’s chins.  It’s a lot more risqué than my usual ideas, but I ultimately couldn’t let that idea pass because the Kankers’ fathers are also the only parents with first names, and while I don’t necessarily think his name is Butch, Bubba or Rod, I would still get a hoot out of having a secret hint to his real name like that.

Once the movie came out, I used the new info to hone a better sense of the timeline of the characters’ lives, but my Bro Show ideas mostly focused on what Bro’s old crew would be like and how his relationships could be MORE corrupt than Eddy’s, leading to the creation of my only real OCs, Bone and Dickie (Dickie doesn’t appear in the pilot, he would have been the Edd of the group only in that they leave him out as much as possible because he butts heads with Bro more than Bone does).   I continued to bounce around some ideas for the other characters meeting Bro, scraping ideas out of my college courses (like the Kevin origin story was going to be based on ‘The Bicycle Thief’ which I saw in a film class), but most of the ideas for origin story episodes didn’t come into fruition until I was chatting daily with a friend in 2010 who also was obsessed with Bro and enjoyed the foundation my headcanons had laid out.  Together we came up with a lot of episode ideas that will never see the light of day!

At some point, I came up with enough designs to post concept art of the idea on deviantART (see below) without the intention of really making it.  But I got a lot of messages from fans who really loved the idea, so with a bunch of encouragement, I dove into it and worked on it on-and-off for two years.  It got a lot of negative feedback and it’s honestly a pretty tainted memory for me now… In retrospect, I agree with a lot of the negative criticism, it’s a very different cartoon than I would normally make, but I’m still proud of the show concept even if the pilot wasn’t perfect. I just really wanted to make fun of people who are as manipulative and self-centered as Bro, but its main Youtube fanbase seems to be people who actually are like him, so… my bad, haha.  I get rude messages CONSTANTLY from Bro Show fans, insulting me for not giving them more episodes and for daring to animate anything other EEnE and for posting on websites other than Youtube, which are a lot of strict expectations to place on me, a total stranger.  Oh well, at least my followers here seemed to get it.  C’est la vie!

https://animated.deviantart.com/art/Eddy-s-Family-145866561

I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember!  It started with doodles of my old schnauzer Charlie and I remember making a concentrated effort to memorize Daffy Duck’s beak shape. I started drawing the Eds around when I got CN for my 10th birthday (about 2 years into the show’s run) and my parents would see and actually be impressed how close I’d get to the style.  I remember it used to switch off whether I was worse at Edd or Eddy but I found Ed comparatively easy—now it’s the opposite and I struggle to draw Ed but can more or less draw Edd and Eddy blindfolded, lmao.  My early Eddys looked like Dexter from Dexter’s Lab.  When I was 11, I found out my toy digital camcorder could do stop motion, so I dabbled in Claymation for a while and started familiarizing myself with the concept of timing motion to a framerate. I got Flash as a gift when I was 12 and have used that same horrendously outdated version of the program ever since!  At this point I’ve been animating approximately 14 years, I think.

I am very proud of my EEnE art over the past few years, I think my younger self would be quite pleased!  My favorite thing I ever did for the fandom is the Superbad parody I never finished or released, hahaha, but I think my EEnE animated music videos will always be very nostalgic for me too.  My favorite animation I’ve done, truthfully, would probably be one of my Steven Universe animations, that’s the point where I really started feeling confident that I know how to animate even though I have little professional experience.  I hope someday I make it out there to the industry, I want to flood the world with cartoons as well-animated as EEnE!

[v-le]

Thank You, Hoya.

As I type this, I am admittedly an ugly mess. I woke up from a nap this evening & I saw an article that came out a few minutes beforehand about Hoya’s contract renewal, saying that he did not go through with it. Groggily, I clicked on it, not thinking much.

I sat wide awake as I read the sentence once, twice, over and over and my mind couldn’t even properly process it. Leaving?? Actually leaving???

Let me back up, as in, a few months before all this unfolded. Infinite was supposed to come back in May, as announced in their third fan-meeting and everything.  Sunggyu was having health issues and the comeback naturally got pushed back. Their 7th Anniversary eventually came around, but I kinda felt like it was a quiet celebration. There were a few SNS posts, but no annual live broadcast, apparently due to issues with gathering all the members in one place. (When they said this, I thought to myself, ‘This is their SEVENTH anniversary, but they can’t even get together just for that???’ *sad but also equally confused face*). Their contracts came to an end, but there was no official word of their next steps for quite a while. In the middle, we got a little announcement that discussions were still going on and that they were all headed in a positive direction. Weeks trickled past. It was rumored that all re-signed except for one member, supposedly L, but that was just a false report. Three excruciating months later, it is revealed that everyone but Hoya renewed their contract with Woollim Ent. And then the next day, they announced his departure from the company, and the group completely.

I honestly did not see it coming. Throughout these three anxiety-filled months, I kept preparing myself for the worst, which was presumably an official disbandment. But never in the slightest could I imagine a falling apart. A break up?? The loss of a piece that makes them whole? Not hiatus, not disbandment, not separate ways, but the genuine departure of a member. An entire member. I just……….. of all groups to ever pull this off (and we all know that plenty of 2nd gen. groups have been through this, GG, Teen Top, Beast, 2NE1, Apink, Girls’ Day, etc.) INFINITE was one to follow this….. “trend”. This wretched trail of pain that way too many groups have crossed several times.

Before I go into how I feel overall, I just want to make it clear that of course, I will still support Infinite as 6 members, and Hoya in his personal endeavors unconditionally, no matter what. I’ve literally been following them for over 6 frking years now, how could I just abandon any of them like that? No, lol, I’m in way too deep, y’all. So yes, I will never ever ever everrrrrrrrrr bash or disrespect their decisions in any way. I will, of course, wholeheartedly accept this with open arms because that is what true fans do. And if anything, considering that this is what we’ve come to after THREE entire months, doesn’t that just further prove to us how hard this probably was for the members, and staff, and just everyone else collectively? Clearly, a lot of thought went into this. This wasn’t impulsive. This is for the better, and I will fully respect that.

HOWEVER, I am, after all, a fking diehard Inspirit and these boys have literally defined my years as I’ve matured into an adult. They’ve been with me through thick and thin, and as I like to say, my “part-time lifeline”. Even though I almost basically despise current kpop (I will say this several times, but 2nd gen. kpop is dead & gone and that’s something I will mourn for a while), Infinite has always been there. They are my Day 1′s, and as time went on, even when I got extremely busy w/ junior & senior year of high school, I still tried my best to keep up with them, support them, and just honestly, thank them. For being there. Because even as all these years passed before my eyes, they were still here, ALL 7 of them, still occasionally coming back with music for fans, still being Infinite. Just being Infinite. And I was (and still am) so eternally thankful for that. I watched groups lose members, go on hiatuses, or completely fall apart left and right, but Infinite promised us time and time again that they would be there no matter what. I can’t say this enough, but seriously, from the bottom of my heart, when I had time to just reflect on the years, I was just so so so so overwhelmingly thankful for them. 

And so 1 member leaving was just……. it broke me to pieces. I was utterly, completely devastated. Because it was simply a reality I never saw coming. One I never wanted to believe in. I wanted to keep believing that they would continue on as seven for as long their hearts could desire, just as they’ve been doing for all these years. That they’d surpass Shinhwa, and be the longest-lasting boy group to exist, unchanged since debut. That they are family, brothers for life, that they would never separate in such a way. Not to say that they aren’t family anymore. But that their bond of trust would transcend any notions of breaking apart.

But really. It’s okay. Nothing lasts forever, and I know that very well. All good things must come to an end. And that is what I’ve had the most trouble dealing with ever since I read that sentence. This is the end of an era for the boys. This marks a new journey where nothing will be the same as it was before, for better or for worse, who knows yet. But we all have to say goodbye to the Infinite that existed before today. And that’s what’s really hard for me. That’s what has got me looking like an ugly sobbing mess for a good 8 hours today LOL. Because it’s really hard for me to say farewell so suddenly. But the storm will pass, with time.

And with that, I want to once again, thank Infinite, thank Hoya, thank the world for letting these boys shine brightly for the past 7 years, and to hopefully continue to shine even brighter for years to come. Thank you so much Hoya, for being such a pillar (—holy fck hold up, I never thought I’d be typing these words and now im a mess again, great) within Infinite.

Thank you for being the iconic dancing machine within Infinite.

Thank you for not only rapping impressively, but singing stunningly as well.

Thank you for venturing into the acting scene & pulling off amazing characters like in Reply 1997, Mask, My Lovely Girl, Radiant Office, and more.

Thank you for being a complete bora-dori.

Thank you for constantly expressing your passion for hip hop (remember when he talked about when he was younger, he even wished he was black??? AHAHAH good times :’)), whether it was through Infinite H, self-composed raps/songs, or your personal Youtube channel.

Thank you for gifting us with your iconic bitch face. (This might honeslty be the biggest thing I miss LOL jk jk ily hoya adjakfjlkf i cant rn)

Thank you for being a dork/dick half the time and always roasting the members without shame.

Thank you for yes, ddabong to u too times 5805925 LOL

Thank you for developing from that awk, Busan boy into a resilient Seoul man HAHAHHA proud of u tho

Thank you for your brows because we all know they were ur focal point ;)

Thank you for also unleashing ur inner hoaegi sometimes

Thank you for sincerely being one of the most passionate members ever. I think I can safely say that no one put more energy and fervor into a performance than you did.

and just…

Thank you for being a part of Infinite for these past 7 years. At this very moment, I cannot imagine an Infinite without you. I will miss everything you have given us, and more than anything, thank you for working so hard.

호원아 고생했어 사랑해 ❤

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/carrie-genzel-talks-supernatural-jensen-ackles-jared-padalecki-pranks/

Carrie Genzel talks 'Supernatural' and Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki pranks

Carrie Genzel is one of those lovely actresses that thought being in Supernatural was so nice she did it twice – she was in Bugs, one of the earlier episodes in Season 1, and in Just My Imagination, one of my personal favorite episodes, in Season 11. Many fans will remember Carrie’s character, Linda Berman, being the one with “Sparkle on her face!” Definitely one of the more iconic moments in Supernatural, for sure. Since Supernatural, Carrie has appeared in Max 2, They’re Watching and Season’s Greetings. Carrie is also the author of State of Slay, a blog about “the state of living in self-love as your authentic self.” Carrie explains further about her blog and her journey to writing it below. Carrie currently has a fun comedy called The Layover coming out on Direct TV on August 3 and in theatres in September 1. It stars Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario, and was directed by William H. Macy. In addition, fans can see Carrie at Modesto’s Classic Comic Con, Sept. 29 to Oct. 1 at the Hard Rock Hotel in Lake Tahoe, California. Since this turned into quite a great and lengthy interview, we've split it into 2 parts. You were in two episodes of Supernatural; there was a 10-year difference between the two because you were in Bugs in 2005 and Just My Imagination in 2015. Did you notice any difference on set between the 10 years? Well, you know what was interesting was what was the same. Typically, on shows like Supernatural, especially, you know, Supernatural has a really long season, and they put in some long days; there’s a lot of special effects and a lot of different things that make days longer. I can see that being on that schedule day in and day out can wear on a person some times. What was really interesting going back 10 years later was that a lot of the core group of crew was still there, which was amazing to see and really goes to show you what kind of family that they’ve all assembled on that show, that so many of those people are still there after all of these years. Other than that it was great to see the boys, and we laughed a lot, because I remember when we shot Bugs the first season, I think it may have just started to air; it was really new, and it was really dark compared to what else was on TV back then; I think there was Buffy, but Buffy had a lot more humor; Supernatural in the first season was really dark. Even in the way they shot it, it was really dark. I remember talking to the guys, and they were like, we don’t know if this is going to fly, we’re hoping, but it’s really different from what’s on; everyone seemed unsure about the longevity of the show. Cut to – and it’s still going -- ten years later, me walking on set and going, you guys are still here! What was cool, was to catch up, because now, they’re married, they have kids … so a lot had changed, and it was really fun to hear about their kids and life doing the show, but also having a family outside of the show and juggling all of that which they seem to do quite well. It was fun to catch up and see them again so many years later and just great to see that the show is still rolling along and still feels like a family. A lot of that has to do with the boys. They really put that energy and that tone into work every day and they love being there, and they really love each other; and you feel that when you’re there; that really sets the tone for everybody there. Everybody’s there to work, everybody’s there to have a good time, and everyone really appreciates the job they have and the fandom that keeps everything going and humming. Everything that is done on set is really in honor and in tribute to that fandom. It’s a really nice environment to work in. You’re definitely not the only person I’ve talked to that have noticed the crew being very much the same as the first season to later on in years. I honestly think one of the main reasons is how gentleman-like Jared and Jensen are. That literally trickles down to everyone else in cast and crew; everyone has just stayed together. I think that’s a lot of the reason why Supernatural has done so well is because the actual core group is still there; it still has the same feeling. I think that’s really, really cool. You were talking about the Supernatural family; how has that affected you? It’s been incredible! I was invited to The Family Don’t End With Blood, the book launch in Los Angeles on May 10 by Lynn and it was wonderful because it was the first time I actually got to stand up and say thank you in a public forum. Just after Just My Imagination aired, I was bombarded with love on social media, and it was overwhelming, and I tried my best to get back to every single person and I just couldn’t. It just was impossible for me to do that so I did a video to say thank you. I had no idea what was going to happen because when Bugs aired, there really wasn’t social media. Over the years I’ve gotten fan mail, or people had reached out to me and said they liked the episode, or how did you do that … it was nothing compared to what happened when Just My Imagination aired. I was looking forward to the episode because it’s a great episode, I was looking forward to seeing all of it, not just the stuff I did because I was really thrilled for the whole episode and excited for Rich; it was his first time directing. All of a sudden my phone went berserk. The episode aired, I’m crying, because it always makes me cry at the end; and all of a sudden my phone’s like ding-ding … all of this stuff starts happening on my phone and I’m like what’s going on? All of these people start reaching out to me and then there was ripple effect because dependent on the time zone and the country – it wasn’t just that one day – oh, now it’s on in Brazil. It was funny how it came in waves depending on where it was airing in the world and the time zone. It was really incredible. I just felt this wave of love, and it was really great to hear everyone’s comments and really embrace that episode … it still happens, almost every day. It’s been a while since that aired. It’s really nice as an actor when people connect to the material. We’re all storytellers, and we hope that the stories that we’re telling and the characters that we’re playing resonate with people. When it does in such a big way, it’s really fantastic, and it’s really rewarding – it feels like we’re doing something right. Especially for Supernatural … you want to honor that story, the characters, and you hope that you’re adding something special. It’s been interesting because both of the episodes that I’ve done have kind of been stand-alone episodes in a way, they haven’t contributed to the overall story, so you kind of go it’s one of those fun episodes where you get to go a little out there. The #SPNfamily really, really, every day just warms my heart. You all are incredible and – you are – you can do anything. I’ve seen the power of what you can do when you all band together. The Entertainment Weekly cover comes to mind, where you guys kicked ass. You guys won for getting your show on Entertainment Weekly over Game of Thrones, Outlander, like big, huge shows that haven’t been on long that maybe have a little more heat because they’re newer, or shinier, or what have you. You guys were like, hell no! We are getting our show on the cover, and our boys on the cover, and they did that wonderful story. I went, this is it, this is what they can do. There’s so much good that you all do – which again, really goes to show you the good in the cast and the message that they promote about themselves and about helping others. That definitely trickles down through the fandom and through the #SPNfamily, which I find really, really inspiring. I think that’s really incredible; I don’t really know if there’s a show that really has that. I think it’s such a unique, it’s so unique to Supernatural and it’s really incredible. That’s one of the reasons why I personally love Supernatural so much is that the cast, whether it be the main cast, to the guest stars, like yourself; everyone is so giving of themselves and of their time. I mean you’ve got yourself, who is constantly replying to pretty much every single Tweet that you get … I try, it’s hard. It’s really, really hard. Especially with the #darkhunters … I get up some mornings and I’m like holy moly, how long have you guys been up? You and I are both on Pacific Time, and most of my girlfriends, my #darkhunters friends, are in Eastern Time – I get up and I’m like, okay, I need to catch up! There’ll be like 45 messages, what’s happening?!? I just recently saw that David had 99+ messages or notifications. But yeah, it does get overwhelming some times. I can’t respond to all of this, I have to go to an audition! I try to hit the highlights and at least check in, like, I’m here! It’s incredible … and it’s rapid fire, too! It’s like holy moly, it’s just flying through my screen … Some times I just like to sit back and watch it happen. So what was your favorite part about being on Supernatural? Oh my gosh, so many things! You know, I was just really thrilled to go back. I was itching to go back because so many people I know had done it multiple times … I’m like, I haven’t been on since season 1, and I died … can I come back too? A year or so ago, around the time that I shot that, I had been in a few times for roles for the show, and I was like I’ve got to go back to do something, and it just wasn’t happening. When I went in for this, I was like, I don’t know if Rich really likes me … he must be a good poker player, because I couldn’t really tell, wasn’t really sure … so I went home, and then a few days later I got the call. I didn’t know about the manicorn blood; they had taken that out of the audition materials. They do that – either they’ll make up a scene, or they’ll take stuff out so that you don’t know everything. God forbid those get out somewhere, so they don’t want it to get released … It wasn’t until I read the actual script that I was like, oh my God, this is going to be insane! This is going to be crazy. There were so many things that were great about doing that that I was looking forward too. Working with Rich, who is a phenomenal actor. His history with the show, just made it even better because I knew that no matter what was going to go down on set, he had our backs. He knows the show, he knows the guys, he wants this to be as great as it can be and we were starting with an incredible script. I’m like, this is great. It was so fun to see the boys again and to catch up. Try not to laugh while they were wearing their Mr. Rogers sweaters. Because come on … I was like, come on. Those were amazing. And they were so uncomfortable in them. It was even better in person. Rich really let us play and have fun. Even in the scene when they first come to my house – we got to play around a little bit with the whole manicorn moment. Because, you know, a manicorn … We kind of played around with different reactions, different things – we really had fun. It was great. The scene -- Nate Torrence, first off, is so hilarious. It was next to impossible not to look at him in the scenes, because Linda can’t see him, or hear him; so it was ridiculous – he’s in the suspenders, in the pants that are too small, that were in danger of breaking at any given moment … they really were. He’s like, I don’t know if these are going to hold again today. But that was the joke – they were supposed to look small … and God bless him for rocking those. I’m a fan of Nate’s work as well and knew his work from other things. It was such a joy to go to work and try to pull this off without laughing. I was going to ask you how hard it was to keep a straight face. It was ridiculously hard. Before we actually shot the moment where I put the blood on my face, Rich pulled me aside, and he all of a sudden got really, really serious. He’s like Carrie, I really need you to be professional here, and I need you not to laugh. You can’t laugh during this moment because if we put the blood on, and you start laughing, we’re going to be behind like an hour. It’s going to take an hour to take the blood off of you, reapply your makeup; I’m like I get it, I will not laugh. I promise on my soul; I will not laugh. He’s like, they’re not going to make it easy on you, I know them. I know them, and they’re going to be silly, and goofy … I’m like, I know, I know, I promise you – I promise you, I will not laugh. It’s not anything you can practice; because once it’s on, it’s on … I didn’t really know what was going to happen when I put it on my face. They set it up so that when I sit down, and Sparkle’s next to me and I’m sitting on that bench, they had kind of rigged that cushion with pools of sparkly blood so that when I put my hands down, and I’m talking to them, I’m really just loading up my hands with blood. I’ve worked a lot with fake blood before, and it’s sticky, and it’s sweet, you kind of know what’s going to happen; but because it had the chunky glitter in it, I’m like, I don’t really know what’s going to happen. So I was just like, here goes! Rich was really specific about how he wanted me to like put it on my face. So it was a lot to remember – my brain was firing like a million miles an hour, right, picturing that scene. I’m like, I’ve got to do this, I’ve got to sit down, I’ve got to touch my face like this, I gotta get up … there were all these things happening … So we do it and it’s on, and we’re in the scene, I can see their faces, and Jensen in particular, makes me laugh every single time I watch that scene, he was the funniest. It was just his reaction. I get up, and I stand up, at the end of the scene, and it’s on my face … and a piece of glitter goes right into my eye. It literally feels like a dagger in my eye. All I can think of is I promised Rich I wouldn’t laugh or wreck the scene. I have to somehow get through the end of the scene. All I could think of was not letting my eye water and not messing up the scene … I just concentrated so hard on what was happening, and not looking at Nate. I would just stand there and go Jared, Jensen, Jared, Jensen, Jared, Jensen, and look back and forth so I wouldn’t stop in the middle at Nate. I would just go, Jared, Jensen, Jared, Jensen, Jared, Jensen in my head … and just say my lines. Just doing that repetitive until Rich said cut and then I’m like MAKEUP!! My EYE! As soon as he said cut, the boys just burst out laughing and Nate just burst out laughing … saying, you look INSANE! I’m like, I don’t even want to see what I look like because I don’t want to have that image in my head, because we still have to shoot … I just want to pretend that everything is normal … now I don’t have glitter in my eye so it’s all good. I stepped off set, while they were moving the cameras around, just to kind of get some air … it can get hot with the lights and stuff. Rich had frozen the image of my face on all the monitors … I came around the corner, and there was just monitors with my glittering face on it. I’m like, well, I guess that’s what I look like … They really didn’t make it easy. They were goofing around; they were making the silliest faces, they really had a good time with it. The boys are notorious for pranks on guest stars. They boys like to have fun, and they like to goof around … It’s not a regular scene where God forbid you laugh, they go cut, and you go again. Once it was on, it was on. We didn’t have to worry about it. It was just that first moment about getting it on properly, and he was happy with the application of the manicorn blood … then it just stayed on for the remainder of shooting. It was hard. Actually, it was actually kind of itchy and gross. It actually stained my face so that was lovely; and my hands, which was really lovely. For months and months afterward, I would find random glitter on me … I just kept sparkling for months. And months. And months. And months. I would think, now it’s gone. But then I would find a random sparkle … It was just everywhere. And it stained my feet! Well, my one foot, because I had to step in it, and I had on leather-soled shoes … I didn’t even realize, but it soaked into the shoe, and when we wrapped, it was really late, and it’s dark … so I just wanted to get home. I threw off my shoes and put my socks and sneakers on, and went home, and I crashed. The next day, I wake up, and I’m like, why is my sock stuck to my foot? I peel it off and it’s all full of blood and glitter. It was really the gift that kept on giving. If you were back on Supernatural, would you be a hunter, a demon or an angel? Well, I think of the three – I would love to be a hunter … I’ve auditioned to be a demon on the show, before I got Linda, which was super fun … because you just get to go balls out. I actually kind of hyperventilated … I got a little too into it. But I gotta go with hunter. Because, come on. Let me go kill some shit! I think maybe somebody messes with Linda’s daughter, she’s like, enough of this crap and goes hunting. Her and all of her jewelry. Linda wore a lot of jewelry. She must’ve been a jewelry salesman … maybe she had some sort of business on the side … I don’t know how I could’ve put more jewelry on then I had. How did you get into acting? I had always been drawn to acting. As a young girl, we used to go to the Saturday matinees; our dad used to take us. I was also just so in awe of whatever that was, when the curtain opened … that magical world that opened up. I remember even as a very young girl thinking, I don’t know what that is, but I want to be a part of it. It really was a form of escape for me. I always had these magical places in my head … even as a kid, would act out skits and do things. As I got older, it became kind of a place … it really was a place of escapism for me. I was really uncomfortable with who I was and I didn’t like myself so to be able to play another person and to act, I’m like, that’s great because if you don’t like that person, it’s okay, because it’s not me. It kind of became a way of life … I realized at some point that it could be a career. That I could actually have a career doing that. I thought, that’s really awesome, because I do that every day anyway. So, let’s do this. That was kind of my motivation to start. Thankfully that’s not still my motivation. It really was just a way to get out of myself, and out of my own head. For a chance to be somebody else. That’s kind of how it all started. What advice do you have for people who want to get into acting? Go to college. Get another career. No. I’ve had the opportunity to teach, and I always get asked that one of course. I’ve taught kids in high school. I always say to them: If it’s not your passion, if it’s not something you feel like part of you will die if you don’t do it … don’t do it. You still can, but in a different way. Go get an education, go get a degree, go find that other thing; you can still do community theatre, you can still do things on the side, but to do it as a career, and to go after it, the way you have to go after it today … is tough. You have to make a lot of sacrifices. I always say to people when they ask me; it’s a little bit of a selfish, not even a little bit, it’s a selfish business in that I’ve missed birthdays, holidays, funerals, weddings, major events in people’s lives that I love and care about. Because I’m travelling, I’m on the road; I’m on location … I’m at work. It’s tough that way. I think if you are a storyteller by nature, and you need to tell a story, then find your outlet. Find your way. And it may not be acting, because I know some incredibly talented people who thought it was acting and are now directing, or now writing … or doing something creative in a different way in the entertainment industry. If acting is your passion, I’m a big fan of making your own opportunity. It’s really hard to break through the pack. When you’re young, it’s easier, people give you a chance, and they don’t expect you to have a huge resume. There are some opportunities that are afforded to you there. It’s very competitive … and I think now there are so many outlets where you can showcase who you are and what you can do. And you can do that virtually for free. You don’t have to have a lot of really expensive equipment to make it happen, as long as the picture is clear, they can hear you, you’re good to go. I know every studio, every network, major agency, are always scouring the Internet for new talent. If you live in a small community where you’re not in a major market, like Los Angeles or New York or Chicago, make your own opportunity. Get your friends together, make your own content, or do it yourself … and make your own opportunities. Always do your research. If you’re contacted by an agent, or if you’re wanting to talk to an agent, Google them. Find out what people are saying about them, because there are a lot of scammers out there. You should never pay anyone to represent you as an agent or a manager. That’s not how it works. They get paid when you get paid. So that’s always a good rule of thumb. Always do your research. As an actor, I always say, you have to be your own detective. When you’re crafting your character, and even so, just in business. It’s just too easy now to look on your phone and research somebody and find out if they’re legitimate or not. Do your homework.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[arriyire]

Learn to Fly - A Fairy Tail Fic Ch. 6

Summary: The world is split into two realms - the mortal and the spirit. In this world, demons attack humans and the winged protect them. When Levy gets shoved headfirst into the spirit realm, she will have to adjust her whole way of living and learn to deal with a moody dragon winged Gajeel. AU vaguely based on the manga plot.

Rated: T

Chapter 6

Levy hadn’t slept at all; she constantly tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable or to stop her brain churning. How she loathed these nights where all she could do was get to know the inner workings of her brain on a way too personal level. She checked her clock for the millionth time in the last half hour and decided she might as well get herself ready for the day. Manoeuvring her way through her book-maze she found her bathroom and promptly locked herself in – at least one advantage of getting ready early is she got to have a long relaxing bath.

Day was just about to break when Gajeel woke up, feeling stiff as he stood from his slouched sleeping position. He worked the kinks out of his shoulders and spine before doing the same with his wings; folding them back from his body and out to the sides before allowing them to fold in naturally.

Nearby Panther Lilly had woken with him and was also doing some stretches in both of his forms. He pulled his arms and twisted from side to side; the only noise between the two of them was the clicking and popping of joints. Still without a word they simultaneously took off from the roof to the open sky, further exercising their stiff muscles. Once they had climbed to a good height above the flat block Lilly spoke, deciding it was time to get some answers about his partner’s behaviour. “I get you can’t go into details, but I’m certain more happened when I left last night.” The statement was held between the two men, between anyone else the silence might be uncomfortable, but Lilly knew this was the most effective way to talk to the iron dragon slayer.

Gajeel just grunted in response, earning a mildly irritated sigh from Lilly. He waited patiently for the man to reply, watching as Gajeel scanned the area quite intensely. Once he was convinced he could not see/hear/smell anyone nearby he responded properly. “They came like I said; I persuaded them to fuck off for now but…” His voice trailed off as he tried to think of a way to explain the events that followed.

Lilly kept quiet; there was no use in pushing the dragon slayer into talking, he was made of metal after all and could be cold and stubborn like it. Gajeel waited a few more moments before finishing his sentence. “Basically we have some time, but let’s just say there is some shit comin’ our way.”

Lilly considered the man in front of him for a while, Gajeel was avoiding eye contact which was odd for a man who normally charged head first into anything. Something had him on edge, and you don’t push a man on the edge. Dropping the topic for now Lilly continued the conversation “Well in any case, it’ll be a few days before we can head back. Master wants us to stay put.” Lilly explained how he had managed to get in contact with Freed to begin a rune trap across the city. But such a large task required time; they would need to defend the targets until it was complete.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Gajeel understood, but hated it none the less. Now they had to trail some shrimp around and protect her from something she couldn’t even see all while trying to prevent Sol from figuring out what really was going on, lucky him. As if on cue they saw the unmistakable mop of blue exited the building dressed in bright orange and begin walking down the street.

“At least she’s easy to spot” Lilly grinned, trying to lift the man’s dull spirits.

“What is she, half a rainbow or somethin’?” Gajeel just looked confused by the clash of colours, never before had he seen someone so bright. And he had been around Natsu who was practically on fire all the time!

“Says Mr ‘dark and stormy.’” Lilly was wearing a true shit eating grin now, as he motioned up and down Gajeel’s scowling form.

Gajeel considered his own outfit for a while. So what? He only had black hair, black shoes, black top and cloak, a black cat… OK. Gajeel saw his point. Least his pants were a light colour though!

“C’mon before the demons take her dumbass from under our noses” Gajeel dove down ignoring a cackling Lilly who was way too amused for his liking.

Levy turned down her work’s street and checked behind her one more time; she really couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was following her. But just like every morning when she left home, the streets were quiet and no-one was in sight par a few shop owners setting up for trading. She decided her brain must still be buzzing from all the caffeine she’d had, clearing the doubt from her mind she walked into a grand building and up to the fourth floor.

“Good morning Levy!” Levy was greeted by a rather portly fellow, who happened to be Levy’s boss Mr Kodo. Levy offered a wide grin in reply as she unloaded her bag at her desk, Mr Kodo was now lent against a nearby wall with a cup of coffee in hand. “You’re here early. Late night reading session?” He winked knowingly, causing Levy to look increasingly embarrassed.

“I got a new book, you know how it is.” She sheepishly replied, Mr Kodo just laughed in response before making his way back to his own office.

“Well I hope you’re not too tired, we got that book contract last night! The author made their decision to translate it into four addition languages. He gave us six months to get the job done. We’re going to need everyone on it!” He called just as he entered his office; Levy couldn’t help but perk up at such a job. She loved seeing an author’s new work; this one was a fantasy novel which piqued Levy’s interest, unfortunately it was riding on the back of the current supernatural trend stories were going through; she remained hopeful that with such a big translation job it wouldn’t be a writer looking for a cash-grab and be worthy addition to her growing collection. This was one of the big perks of the job; seeing new books and translating them to other languages so it could be shared across the world gave Levy a great sense of achievement.

As her fellow co-workers trickled in to the building, Levy set about reading her chapter of the book to translate. It was hard work, constant rewrites where she checked the grammar and spelling of each translated sentence making sure the meaning of the story was never lost. By the time it was midday she had put a decent dent in her first few pages. Fortunately Levy was given the beginning chapter of the book; the story had intrigued her and Levy had jotted down the book title deciding to see if she could find a full copy in town after work.

The day was now in full swing and the office was becoming quite stuffy; deciding to take advantage of the summer air Levy took a long break, walking to a small bakery down the road for her lunch. The fresh air did wonders for her sleep deprived body. Upon arriving at the bakery and nearly drooling on the floor at the sight of the fresh cakes on display; the bluenette picked out her food before walking back towards her building. The atmosphere made her feel so full of energy she was practically skipping down the street swinging her bag of treats; looking like little red riding hood off to visit her grandmother. Levy just couldn’t help herself, she was so entranced by the world around her, that she wasn’t paying attention to what was right in front of her.

It honestly happened so quickly, if you had blinked you’d have missed it; but to Levy it was like someone put her life in slow motion. She didn’t remember stepping out into the road or hearing a car nearby. She definitely saw it now though, and if the screeching brakes where anything to go by; she was about wish she’d noticed it much earlier. Caught like a deer in the headlights, she watched as the speeding car tried desperately to stop in time. She couldn’t get out of the way; her feet were rooted to the pavement refusing to move. Her mind screamed to run but her body just wouldn’t respond.

Levy had closed her eyes on instinct when she felt the impact, except it didn’t hit her front like she was expecting. It came from her back, like she had been grabbed and thrown back to the safety of the curb. The vomit inducing throb in the back of her head, suggested her head had taken a good bashing along the way. Levy tried to open her eyes to find her vision was blurred. She also heard voices but her ears were full of cotton wool and they sounded like disjointed mumbles, all she could do was blink wildly trying to get her wits about her.

“Miss? Miss?! Oh my God! Are you ok?” A clearly distressed woman was hovering over Levy trying to get any kind of response out of the small woman. A crowd had quickly formed, with people trying to find out what the commotion was. Levy finally was able focus enough to get a clear view of now the many faces surround her all of them expressing their concern for her health. Except there was only one face Levy couldn’t look away from.

The man was huge (probably appearing more so, seeing as she was on the floor) both in height and muscular bulk. In the shining sun he appeared to sparkle, until Levy noticed his face was coated in metal studs arranged symmetrically along his nose and eye-brows. None of that mattered though because Levy was captivated by two ruby red eyes, boring into her own with an expression of ‘what the fuck are you looking at?’. Levy wanted to give the man a piece of her mind, defend herself against such a judgmental glare. But once again she was dumbstruck when she noticed the enormous black wings sprouting from the man’s back. Her mind couldn’t process it, her face turned to one of panic and the crowd around her followed – looking for the source of the woman’s distress.

One person had called an ambulance and soon the sound of sirens filled the street, along with a dozen voices trying to calm an increasingly hysteric Levy. She started hyperventilating pointing and demanding why no-one was alarmed by the studded man with the freakin’ wings! Trying to convey to somebody; anybody, that this man was here. No-one even took notice though, when they turned to see what she was pointing at they looked through the man and back to her with a worried look. “She must have a concussion. Poor dear, she did take a nasty fall.” One voice concluded as they continued to try and relax Levy, fearing she may go into shock.

Levy just couldn’t grasp the situation; so many sights and sounds were engulfing her eyes and ears she felt like she couldn’t trust anything in the world around her. Still, she continued to look at the studded man looming above her; his face had now turned to one of mild shock as his studded brows were raised and his mouth slightly agape. It was the last sight of the man she saw before the paramedics were on her asking her a multitude of questions and trying to coax her into the ambulance and to hospital. Levy tried to explain about the winged man again, except when she turned to point at where he was, she saw nothing but an empty space. The paramedics were now severely concerned and all but dragged Levy off the ground and into the ambulance. Once secure, Levy’s mind was so overwhelmed by the impact and what she had seem that she quickly succumbed to sleep.

Full fic here - I own nothing except a vague plot, feel free to review/ask/be inspired and share with me anything you find :)

[gyrlversion]

Jonas Brothers Chasing Happiness: 11 Revelations From Their New Doc

During the opening minutes of Chasing Happiness — the Jonas Brothers documentary premiering on Amazon Prime on Tuesday (June 4) — Kevin waxes poetic about how the band needs to change. They need everyone to be comfortable, he says, and have open and honest dialogues and not look at the past through rose-colored glasses. Eventually, Nick interjects, telling his oldest brother, “I think you’re afraid to be confrontational with me.”

It feels like a private moment; like we’re not supposed to be listening to their conversation. That sense of voyeurism trickles on for the next 90 minutes, as the John Lloyd Taylor-directed doc chronicles the band’s improbably rapid rise to superstardom, their break-up, and eventually, their chart-topping 2019 comeback. We see Kevin, Joe, and Nick speaking candidly together and individually, and their words give some illuminating context to the band’s new album, arriving on Friday (the doc even features some snippets of unreleased songs!). Below, check out 11 of the biggest things we learned from Chasing Happiness.

They were shut out by their church

After Jonas Brothers got signed, the label had a vision of them as a punk-rock band. That obviously didn’t pan out, but the music the boys were making was still edgier than what people had expected — especially since their father was the pastor of a church. “I think there was some judgment on us for not being a Christian band,” Nick said. “Singing about girls started to become an issue.” Eventually, Kevin Sr. resigned after facing mounting pressure, and the family subsequently lost their home. Around the same time, the band was dropped from their label, but the boys kept writing songs and eventually scored a lucrative record deal with Disney.

Nick’s diabetes diagnosis was a “life-shifting moment”

While the band was grinding away with a grueling touring schedule, Nick started showing some scary health symptoms — he started getting moody and agitated, lost a bunch of weight, and could never quench his thirst. He eventually got diagnosed with diabetes, but the band ultimately decided not to tell the label because they were scared of being dropped. It was a “life-shifting moment for everybody,” Joe said, even recalling, “I passed out in the hospital room because I couldn’t see him hooked up to all these wires.”

Nick was head-over-heels for Miley Cyrus

“I think my brothers and I became closest when we found a common ground beyond music and family: girls,” Nick said. While Kevin confessed that he and Joe “were, like, wingman-ing each other constantly,” Nick only had eyes for one girl, after the band made a cameo on Hannah Montana. Kev recalled, “That changed girls for Nick forever. When he met Miley, I think that kid’s head exploded.” From them on, Nick adorably admitted, “I started writing about love. And I actually knew what it felt like.” Cue “Lovebug!”

They regret their Disney Channel show, Jonas

In a current-day scene where the brothers decide to play a drinking game that basically involves answering tough questions as honestly as they can, Nick said his biggest regret with the band was Season 2 of their Disney Channel sitcom. He admitted it was a “bad move” that “stunted their growth,” explaining, “We couldn’t evolve because of it.” Kevin added that the show was presented to them as a way to keep them relevant while they were touring, but it wasn’t on-brand with them or their music. The show, they lamented, presented them as younger and more “uncool” then they really were. (It did, however, give us “Pizza Girl,” and for that, we are eternally thankful.)

Joe felt like a failure after his fizzled attempt at solo stardom

During a hiatus in 2011 and 2012, Nick ventured off to Broadway and made music with his own side project, Nick Jonas & The Administration. Joe, meanwhile, attempted to make it on his own with a solo R&B/pop record that quickly flopped. “The music didn’t do as well as I had anticipated,” Joe said about it, adding that “it was my first failure” and it was “embarrassing” to feel like he couldn’t do anything without his brothers.

Kevin’s reality show became a big point of contention

While Nick and Joe were off pursuing solo careers, Kevin was “living [his] best life” as a newlywed. After marrying Danielle Deleasa, the couple documented their lives on an E! reality show called Married to Jonas, which ran for two seasons. His youngest brothers weren’t thrilled about the invasion of privacy, admitting they didn’t want anything to do with it because they didn’t want the show to dictate who they were in the public eye. “Our whole life was a closed-door meeting, and Kevin invited cameras into that meeting,” Joe explained. “We felt like he was going to air out a lot of our shit that we didn’t want people to know about.” Needless to say, tensions were building in the band, which ultimately leads us to…

The band’s split was devastating on all fronts

Jonas Brothers reunited in 2013, but it wasn’t the same; Joe flat-out admitted, “We were not happy,” while Nick confessed, “We hate each other, basically.” Nick admitted he had a panic attack the night before breaking the news to his brothers that he wanted to call it quits, and Kevin said Joe “shut down” and took the news the hardest. “I felt betrayed. I felt lied to. I felt angry. Numb,” Joe said of his reaction. “What hurt the most is that it came from Nick. Because he is my best friend and I thought that me Kevin and Nick were going to do this forever and it was us against the world, you know?”

Joe and Nick thought Kevin was holding them back

In one of the hardest moments to watch, the boys recalled how, after the band broke up, some radio stations threatened to never play JB’s music or any of their solo music if they didn’t show up for some promised radio gigs. Nick and Joe went, but Kevin was told that he didn’t need to go. He said it was the “hardest moment of [his] entire life” watching his younger bros play the band’s music without him there, and Joe candidly told him it was because he and Nick thought they were being held back.

“I think it was because we thought you were holding us back,” he confessed. “That’s the truth. I think there was moments that Nick and I wanted to do our own thing and we felt like your focus was not in it anymore and it wasn’t a priority for you. Starting a family was, and your guitar playing kind of fell in the backseat.” Joe continued by saying that he now realizes how “fucked up” that was, and apologized to Kev that he had to go through that.

“Please Be Mine” is still a certified jam

Confession: there are two times I cried while watching this documentary. The first was early on, with old footage of the brothers playing “Please Be Mine,” a love song they wrote in their basement that went on to become the closing track off 2006’s It’s About Time. The second time was towards the end of the doc, with current-day footage of them performing the song, sounding just as heavenly as ever. “Eight years, still a jam,” Nick noted after they finished it. Truer words have never been spoken.

They’re all family men now

And now, I present you with the cutest quotes from all three brothers about falling in love with their respective wives. Here’s Joe: “The impact of falling in love has made me want to be a better man, a better person, and ultimately, made me a better brother. Kevin: “We all spent time apart truly coming into our own. I focused on my family, on being the best husband and father that I could be.” And, finally, Nick: “The time apart was necessary. I was able to pursue different creative avenues and experiment with life in a way I never could before. And it led me to find something greater than I could ever imagine: love. And this love has changed my life forever.”

Frankie’s the biggest JB fan ever, thankyouverymuch

Stick around during the end credits for a glimpse of the Bonus Jonas! The youngest JoBro, 18-year-old Frankie, makes the cutest cameo, telling the camera, “I am their number one fan. I know every lyric of every song. I love their music so much.”

The post Jonas Brothers Chasing Happiness: 11 Revelations From Their New Doc appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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[fashiontrendin-blog]

How Far Would You Go For Baby-Soft Feet? One Man’s Harrowing Journey

http://fashion-trendin.com/how-far-would-you-go-for-baby-soft-feet-one-mans-harrowing-journey/

How Far Would You Go For Baby-Soft Feet? One Man’s Harrowing Journey

On June 6, 1944, Allied forces stormed the beaches of Normandy, sustaining heavy casualties from a deluge of rifle, machine gun and artillery fire as they advanced through barbed wire and landmines to deliver the backbreaking blow to the Nazi troops occupying western Europe. The civilian mind boggles at the courage required to run headlong into such peril. Seventy-four years later, on June 6, 2018, I applied a set of “Baby Foot” Exfoliation Foot Peel booties to my slightly callused feet.

If you haven’t heard of this product, it does for feet what fires do for forests: clears out the dry and dead things in a terrifying manner to allow for the growth of the fresh and new. And now they make it FOR MEN!

Here’s how you do it:

Remove any toenail polish.

Soak your feet in water to allow for maximum gel penetration.

Stick your feet into the gel filled booties, secure with provided tape, put socks on over the booties.

Sit somewhere for an hour. The gel contains a relatively gentle acid that penetrates the top layers of skin cells, beckoning the dead and the dying: “I am the reaper from beyond the veil. The bell is rung, it tolls for thee. Loosen your grip and come with me.”

Take the booties off and wash your feet gently with soap and water.

Soak your feet in water daily to activate the peeling process. Peeling begins within three to seven days and can continue for up to two weeks.

Don’t pick at your feet. No, I said don’t! Oh, come on. What is wrong with you? Have you ever resisted an impulse in your life? Can’t you at least just scrub them gently with a warm, wet washcloth?

When the purge has ended, enjoy your beautiful, nubile tootsies!

The (only) differences in the FOR MEN version are that the packaging is darker, which is tough and cool like Batman, and the purging gel stored in the plastic booties is vaguely mint-scented as opposed to vaguely lavender-scented. This is good because I have spent the entirety of my time on earth knowing that, as a man, it is my duty to grunt and punch my way through life and if I catch a whiff of lavender and like it, I will crumble.

You are about to see some “before” images of my feet. I don’t know about you, but I have never taken very good care of my feet. They take such good care of me, though! They carry me down gangways onto airplanes that take me on adventures; they instinctively reach out when I drop my phone to soften its journey to the ground; and sometimes, if I stare at them long enough, they start to look like hands. So versatile! But I barely even wash them. I just assume they’ll get the cleansing they need from the excess shampoo and soap that runs down my legs in the shower. I call this “trickle down washonomics” and folks, it ain’t working for my lower limbs. I’ve had a mild (occasionally moderate) case of athlete’s foot for five years that I’ve never effectively banished, because why would I attend to a small, fixable problem when I am busy not attending to larger, also fixable problems? My point is, I was excited when I found out about Baby Foot because sometimes we all need a fresh start.

It may not be pretty to constantly have a thick layer of dead skin in a constant state of flakery, but at least I always have something to do!

I hope the awkward positioning of my foot selfies is evidence enough that no, I definitely have not responded to the fetishists’ requests in my DMs.

You’ve heard of hot dogs or legs. Now get ready for…

…heel or raw chicken wing?

See what I mean about the hands thing?

In the interest of breaking down arbitrary performative gender barriers, my plan is to put a man’s foot peel on one foot and a lady’s on the other. You’re all invited to the 2019 awarding of my Nobel Prize.

This is my last commentary on this topic because frankly it isn’t interesting: the man boot has black lettering, the lady boot red.

My hypothesis: In the Baby Foot corporate office, someone pointed out that the primary users were women, so they released a FOR MEN version, which is exactly the same save for minor packaging distinctions. As I mentioned before, they’re vaguely scented, but the dominant aroma is that of rubbing alcohol. You only keep these on for an hour, and after you wash, your feet smell like soap. The product is unisex so grab whatever’s on the shelf for a person you know with gross feet.

The instructions advise you to put socks on over the booties. I was skeptical but complied, and could feel the reason why: it tightens the booty, forcing greater intimacy between foot and gel.

I was a big fan of Leandra’s pregnancy feet, and this reminded me of them. I now completely understand what it’s like to be pregnant with twins. I sat for an hour and watched YouTube, then took off the booties and washed my feet. Here’s the “after” shot:

Don’t they look so much prettier?

If you said yes, consider yourself BAMBOOZLED. There’s no real after to see yet. This is an illusion called “styling,” where I used lighting and backdrop techniques combined with a seductive pose to make the product (my feet) look more appealing. If you read the instructions I included earlier, Baby Foot takes five to seven days to start peeling and another week after that to finish.

Mine looked like this after four days:

Yum! Buttery, flaky crust!

This was the result of me sitting at my computer attending to my empire while absentmindedly rubbing my bare feet together for 5-10 minutes. Before embarking on your own Baby Foot journey, make sure you:

Have a cordless, easily accessible, fully-charged vacuum cleaner ready at all times.

Sleep with socks on.

Don’t wear sandals to Trader Joe’s — you will feel obligated to explain to everyone behind you in line that you’re doing this for Man Repeller, your feet aren’t normally like this, there’s no need to make retching noises hey where are you going ma’am you can’t just leave your cart there!

Still going strong a week later!

11 days later, no more peeling! And my toes finally fell off, as promised.

JK, they’re still here. These are my “after” pics. They don’t look as pristine as they could because I spent Father’s Day weekend playing badminton barefoot and tending to a late night bonfire while wearing Birkenstocks. I will not apologize for a weekend well spent with the people I love most on this earth, but I am sorry for the poorly timed foot abuse — please take me at my word that the blemishes you see are from splinter wounds, clingy sap, dirt and soot. But the peeling is done, the parts that were visibly flaking before I did Baby Foot are doing so no longer, and my feet feel smooth and velvety. I honestly can’t remember the last time they felt like this. I also feel motivated to henceforth take better care of them — like when I clean and organize the apartment and proclaim, “Now that it’s clean, I’m keeping it that way!” But I dream.

This is a fun product, but plan ahead. If you have some important event where your feet will be showing — like if you’re on an Olympic beach volleyball team or whatever — do this at least two weeks before your competition. The peeling is fun at first but becomes burdensome. It just accelerates a process your body is constantly doing already. If you have athlete’s foot or a fungus issue, which is common and please don’t feel badly about it, treat it first with antifungal cream. (Talk to your doctor and all that before you start doing anything I say, by the way.) For me, Baby Foot was a good way to get rid of the unflattering remnants after the cause had been handled.

You’ve reached the end of my review, which means you’ve looked at a bunch of pictures of my feet. Congratulations, weirdo! Now let’s talk about all of this in the comments!

Illustration by Madeline Montoya.