#we have bagels

[willgrahamscock]

at least we have bagels and yaoi

[melodiousoblivionao3]

2 goofs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

I'm allowed to make this joke, but I love that Jewish death rituals are like:

"Pfeh, for what should I spend $12,000 on a big fekakte box they see only for five minutes before they cover it with dirt?"

"Don't waste my good suit what might fit my nephew Lev if the bum should ever even try to get a real job!"

"Embalming? Don't mind me, I'll rot in the dark."

[bagels-gate]

OKAY SO, the silliest most unserious thing—me and my younger sister (she's 15) were making post Halloween fun cupcakes bc on Halloween we were too busy and tired—and as a joke we started making an Astarion cupcake... and ended up making the Whole Gang plus my Tav, my partner's Tav, which they've made out of the mini cupcakes bc we ran out (who are also together— Sylvas and Skaia, ladies and gents)

SO, BEHOLD BALDUR GAY 3 GANG:

Skaia and Sylvas for reference:

Enjoy ✨

[slightlytoastedbagel]

the untapped potential of exploring the craziness of Miya Girls

[blossoms-phan]

im so soft for amazingphil hiatus era videos where dan is silently filming him behind the camera but you can tell it’s him bc of the movements and the way phil keeps looking up into his eyes when laughing at something it’s especially noticeable in the tour of my plants video

[slyandthefamilybook]

I really need non-Jews to get it together. Is "Mizrahi" a fake term and we're just Arab Jews? Or are we culture stealers who came from Europe? For my sanity, I really wish they'd finally decide.

The timeline is thus: There were two cadres of Jews. One was invented in Palestine in 18 BCE when Mary was born, the other was invented at the same time in Ancient Germany. After the Palestinian Jews killed Jesus, they all died. Then 1,915 years later, the German Jews moved to Jordan, stole all their recipes for shawarma, and then invaded Palestine (with the help of Winston Churchill himself)

[lighthouseas]

as a resident bagel lover and therefore bagel expert, here is how the party eats their bagels. i'm right.

mike: toasted plain bagel with plain cream cheese. he likes what he likes even if it's basic. probably doesn't eat bagels that often but when he does he savors them.

lucas: toasted everything bagel with plain cream cheese. can be persuaded to have chive and onion cream cheese instead on occasion. max wipes the seeds off of his face because they get EVERYWHERE (i eat everything bagels a lot. i promise this is true)

dustin: okay so he's very very meticulous about spreading cream cheese. but the kicker is. he does not actually eat cream cheese on his bagels. he prefers them toasted with butter, which gets him some Looks but it's what he likes and he's happy with it. however, whenever the party (mainly max) is having issues spreading cream cheese, he is always happy to help and proportions the cream cheese EXACTLY RIGHT every time (he's so me)

max: bagel sandwiches all the way!!! egg and cheese on a bagel. sausage egg and cheese on a bagel. tomatoes and veggies and cream cheese on a bagel etc etc. do not make that girl eat open face bagels she WILL kill you

will: LOX EVERYTHING BAGELS (he's so me) with everything on them are his absolute favorite, but since he doesn't always have everything to make them in the house, he's fine w a toasted everything bagel with plain cream cheese and lox :) or just cream cheese. will is the Resident Bagel Enthusiast i think because he is just like me fr

el: untoasted bagels all the way for her (or VERY lightly toasted. but that's pushing it) with strawberry cream cheese. plain or sesame do just fine for this, but she also does like to indulge in the occasional cinnamon raisin bagel + strawberry cream cheese. she is the Resident Strawberry Cream Cheese Enthusiast. she loves it a lot

[codecicle]

you

I FUCKING LOVE BAGEL AND CREAM CHEESE. I EAT MULTIPLE A DAY IF I CAN. I CONVINCE MYSELF TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNINGS JUST FOR A BAGEL AND CREAM CHEESE. RIPPING OFF A BIG SHIRT THAT SAYS "I ❤️ BAGELS" TO SHOW OFF THE SHIRT UNDERNEATH IT THAT READS: "I ❤️ CREAM CHEESE"

[days-until-wwwy-24]

122 Days Until WWWY 24

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[vetmordrid]

When Timmy wins his first Oscar, be it in a few months or in a couple of years, us Timmy fans should throw him a big party in New York City to celebrate with him 🥳

[thebigqueer]

literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)

[steveyockey]

we have an evil neighbor at the bagel shop who fights with and threatens to call the cops on customers who unknowingly park on his property and he did this on friday and GOT RAN OVER in front of the store and now whenever we try to tell anyone about this it’s like “hey you know that guy who has the place next to bagel?” and every time they’re like “oh the asshole who told me I was gonna get towed for parking in his spot for a whole 3 minutes?” and every time there’s a moment of sheer derangement where we get to say “well, he got RAN OVER” like it feels biblical or like something that happened to a side character in the last thirty pages of a faulkner novel when in fact it happened in real life about fifty feet in front of me

[keykidpilipili]

You know what would be freaking hilarious?

KHML news and preregistration opening on US election day.

[slightlytoastedbagel]

Being totally honest the fact they chose Rui to be the character to have the awkward angle in the art for the new designs is the funniest thing they could have done. Arguably the most popular character and the fandom can't even fucking draw half of him yet.