#we had a whole skit my first year of nerd camp

[sweaterkittensahoy]

They've been scare-mongering aspartame since I was in junior high and that was 30 years ago.

And I don't mean "The WHO and the FDA" when I say "they."

I mean fuckos who want you to think that "chemicals" cause cancer.

When I was a wee bitch, the study was fucking flawed because they fed lab mice a diet of 60% aspartame, and lemme tell you, 60% of your diet being ANY sweetener is probably gonna kill you.

The fact that it's taken 30 years from "aspartame can murder you" to "it may be, in certain circumstances, that aspartame could have a possible role in murdering you" tells me two things: 1) It definitely should be researched more so we can further understand it, and 2) your great-aunt didn't die of fucking Diet Coke. She died of cancer.