#we get to see Joel’s moments of softness for the people he loves | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cavillscurls · 1 year ago

Text

Sugar & Spice | Joel Miller x Reader

This is a follow up to Soft & Sweet. It can be read as a standalone, but it is highly encouraged to be read as a sequel!

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You lose your virginity to Joel Miller.

Warnings/tags: MDNI. Foul language. Alcohol consumption. Drunken behavior. Arguing. Implied age gap (no numbers specified). Insecure Joel. Soft Joel. Loss of virginity. Reader is not clueless, just inexperienced. Praise. Dirty talk. Pet names. Joel guides reader through it. Oral (f receiving). Fingering. Unprotected p in v. Mentions of pain during sex. After care. Unbearable fluff. No mentions of body type or race, except slight implication reader is shorter than Joel. Platonic Ellie x Reader.

Word count: 9.8k (i’m sorry??)

soft!joel collection masterlist.

a/n: i am so thrilled to be sharing this with y’all! i’ve been working so diligently on it, and i’m really proud of the final product. special thanks for my bea @cupofjoel for reading so many parts of this and listening to me ramble on and on about ideas. tbh, we have also decided game joel suits this story a lot better, but if you’re imagining hbo joel, he canonically has long hair for this. see pic above. ty all for all the support on part 1!

You went on your date.

Two weeks after sharing your first kiss with Joel Miller, and you had yet to cross paths with him again. The excuse was air tight: Maria was only weeks away from labor which meant neither she nor Tommy were on the patrol routes. Times shifted, and for the next month, you and Joel would be on separate schedules. You knew it wasn’t permanent, that he would have no choice but to face you in a few weeks. But something about the way he averted from your gaze within Jackson’s wall, the quick pick up to his feet whenever you would accidentally cross paths in the town square, had your stomach in a knot.

Joel was avoiding you.

At first, the realization devastated you. You spent days cooped up in your room when you had no other necessary duties, ashamed of the tears you let stain your pillowcase. Your chest lingered with an unfamiliar ache that had once been ignited by his lips, but was now a throbbing reminder of a moment shared and lost. You pitied yourself, and it was sickening.

Then, you were angry. How dare he? Who did he think he was? Even if it was just any old run of the mill kiss, you didn’t think his respect for you would reduce that drastically. To not even acknowledge your presence? It was like a knife to the back. And after dwelling with that demon for some time, you came to realize you had two options: to face him or pretend it never happened.

The former was out of the question.

Therefore, you reduced yourself to compliance. Life couldn’t stop over a momentary lapse of judgment, and while reluctant, you decided to accept the invitation of drinks at the Tipsy Bison. Noah was nice enough; tall, slender, and dazzling hazel eyes that lit up when he smiled. You had met him at the market one afternoon, recognizing one another through a few mutual acquaintances. There were only a handful of people around your age group in Jackson, and everyone knew everyone, for the most part. It was something of a worst nightmare. But assimilating was survival, so that following Friday night, you found yourself sitting across from him in a booth towards the back of the bar, a heavy pour of vodka and seltzer water filling your glass.

Thank goodness for alcohol was what you spent most of the evening thinking. Noah was the kind man who loved to talk, mostly about himself. And while you were content on listening to get yourself through the evening, you couldn’t help but feel bored. Anxiety filled your stomach then; was this how Joel felt when you talked his ear off on patrols?

Fuck. Why were you still thinking about him? This excursion had been a means of forgetting about him and the disappointment of his attitude towards you. But the thought of him only seemed to increase when you realized the company of the man before you was even more disheartening than Joel’s blatant rejection of you.

You felt nothing for Noah. Not anywhere near the way you felt for Joel, seeming to burn from the inside out at the mere thought of him.

When your date came to its natural conclusion, Noah offered to walk you home to which you quickly declined, using the excuse of needing to use the restroom and not wanting to keep him waiting so late. Truthfully, you did not want to be alone with him. The expectant connotation the idea held rubbed you the wrong way. Not like it did with Joel. You would welcome a secluded space again with him.

As soon as you were able to convince Noah you would be fine and bid your farewells with the exchange of an awkward hug and forced smiles, you ran into the bar's bathroom, immediately seeking the sink to splash cold water over your burning cheeks. This was ridiculous, and if you couldn’t get yourself together soon, you were sure you would lose it. You stared at yourself in the mirror, scowling. Something had to give.

Marching back out into the crowded room, you made certain Noah had left before seating yourself up at the bar and ordering another drink. Drinking alone; bleak, but effective. And by your third vodka soda, you were feeling much better. Invigorated, even. To the point where you strode right out of the bar, a bit of an uneven waver to your step, and down the main strip of town. Impulsive and intoxicated, you decided you had every right to protect your sanity, your wellbeing, your heart.

You were going to give Joel Miller a piece of your mind.

Joel didn't know how badly he wanted you until he had you.

A moment so brief, and yet, it was ingrained into the depths of his very soul. How was he supposed to have said no to you? He knew how; he was a grown ass man, and should have had more self control. He should have been more adamant in his denial of your request. Should have ended the conversation before it even started. But the moment you flashed him those somber doe eyes, he knew he was far too weak to listen to any sort of rationale. Thus, the feel of your silken soft lips buzzed on him for days to come. He had the curves of your body mapped out on his hands, even though they only touched you for a short while. And your scent. It hung around him like a cloud, a drug he got addicted to off of one hit.

He needed to clear his head. Therefore, when Ellie asked if she could spend the night at Dina’s, Joel happily obliged. A quiet home to himself. There was nothing Joel Miller enjoyed more.

He settled himself on the couch, keeping only the glow of a lamp on as a source of light, a glass of whiskey he had traded for in hand. He swore he would only drink it on special occasions, but the week's torment proved it necessary. Closing his eyes and leaning back against the cushions, Joel was prepared to will himself to sleep if that meant he could have a moment of reprieve, but as soon as he was beginning to find his peace, a harsh knock pounding against the front door sent him startling to attention. When it came for the second time, he jumped to his feet, pacing towards the door with visible annoyance to his wrinkled brow.

“You’re gon’ wake up the whole damn neighborhood if you keep knockin’ so—”

He halted his surly rant when the door swung fully open, and Joel was shocked to see you standing on his front porch with a bitter look in your eyes. He breathed your name almost questioningly, as if he couldn’t believe it was actually you standing there. A figment of his imagination haunting him for how often he had thought about you over the week, entertaining the idea, for a split second, that you may not be real.

But then, your hands were on his chest, shoving at him until he stumbled back from the doorway, and you were stomping into the house, uninvited.

“The hell are you doin’?!” he barked at you. Joel had never witnessed such a blatant display of indignation from you, at least never directed towards him. To barge over here, unannounced, and show such clear disrespect—

“Why are you avoiding me?!” you screeched, and his agitated expression instantly fell.

Oh.

He saw it then, the bloodshot look in your eyes, the sweat to your brow. He could smell it, the alcohol mixed with your natural aroma he had convinced himself he could still sense around him the entire week. But now, it was here. At his doorstep. Drowning him, consuming him.

Joel sighed heavily. “Jesus, you’re fuckin’ wasted.” Clearly, that was the wrong answer, because as soon as he said it, you were lurching after him again. But before your palms could make contact with his chest, Joel grabbed at your wrists, stopping them mid air.

Okay, so you were an angry drunk. Great.

“Cut it out,” he seethed, taking a step forward to tower over you. You were looking up at him fiercely, and he hated how much he loved the heated look in your eyes. He would never admit it to you, but Joel rather enjoyed your attitude. It was endearing. Cute. Whenever you went on your seemingly endless rants during your patrols together, he often found it hard to conceal the smirk that would creep onto his lips at your relentless slaughter of whoever had pissed you off lately. The tremble to your bottom lip that he noticed now, however? That he was enjoying a lot less.

He kept your wrists in the confines of his hands when he spoke. “M’not…not avoidin’ you.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie. He wasn’t necessarily doing it on purpose, and the shift in patrol schedules made it an easy out. But Joel knew it wouldn’t be that simple. You were far too smart, and he respected you far too much to lie to you

“Bullshit,” you slurred, hands balling into tiny fists against his chest. “You–you don’t even look at me. You walk away from me when you see me in town. And–and you won’t, won’t talk to me.” Your words were a sputtered mess, coming out through trembling lips that fueled tear rimmed eyes, leaving Joel to frown deeply at the sight. Oh, sad drunk was worse. So, so much worse.

It was true, he hadn’t spoken to you once since he kissed you that day in the safehouse. The question of why was one he couldn’t seem to answer; maybe he was worried he overstepped, regardless of how adamantly you asked him to. Or even more frightening, he was afraid that you regretted it. That you may never look at him the same way again, the only partner he could even remotely imagine tolerating was now going to be taken away from him over his foolish, selfish indulgence.

“You–you kissed me, and–and now y-you don’t want me anymore.”

Joel’s brows furrowed instantly, and he couldn’t help himself in the way he dropped your wrists from his grip, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. He studied your tear filled eyes with an intense focus, a pain coursing through his gut at the way you looked up at him, sniffling back the growing tears. Joel had seen you cry before, but never at dealing of his own hand. It ate him alive with guilt.

“Hey,” he said sternly, but calmly. That was why you were upset? So troubled over it that you got yourself drunk before coming to his doorstep to confront him? It was supposed to be easy for you to tell him things, tell him everything, but he had made you feel otherwise. More guilt. “That just ain’t true,” he whispered, catching one of the tears that cascaded down your right cheek with the pad of his thumb.

Joel had never spent this much time so close to you. Save for the moment in the safe house and this one, he didn't think he had ever touched you. He never had any reason to. He was unprepared for how strong the urge to keep touching you was, wallowing in the hope that he never had to let go.

“Yes, it is,” you argued shakily, your once intense tone losing its strength as you gave way to your emotions. God, he felt like a dick. Joel knew how your brain worked; you probably spent the better half of the week meticulously worrying over what you could have done wrong, when in reality, it was his own compulsions Joel was concerned about.

“Darlin,’” he breathed, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. “You’re…not thinkin’ right, it's late, why don’t we talk about this in the mornin’?” He really didn’t want to argue with you, and if he was going to, he at least wanted to hear your thoughts in a clear state of mind. Contrary to what you may believe in the moment, Joel did give a shit about what you had to say.

“You’re just gonna avoid me again,” you muttered, the pout to your bottom lip only increasing the sharp pain of guilt in his gut.

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No,” Joel stressed, squeezing your cheeks tenderly between his hands until your lips pursed. Your tears had subsided, but the gloss over your eyes was still present. He so badly wanted to ask what he could do to soothe away your sorrow, but his attention was quickly deterred when you slumped forward with a deep huff, languidly wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face in his chest.

Initially, Joel froze. This was…new. Despite the large step of kissing you, Joel had never embraced you. The feeling was odd, foreign. He hadn’t hugged anyone other than Ellie or his brother since, well, since the world went to shit. His hands tingled in mid air, body gone ridgid at your sudden closeness. But eventually, he willed himself to relax, trying not to overthink the moment and gradually wrapping his arms firmly around you, one at your waist, the other at your shoulders, pressing you gently into his chest. The alleviation of all his tension was instantaneous.

“Why don’t I walk you home?” he whispered, letting his fingers paint gentle circles against your scalp. He loved how soft your hair was.

You shook your head, still nuzzled into his chest. “Don’t wanna go home,” you muttered, and Joel felt his stomach tighten in what he could only decipher as anxiety. That pesky little pest, always gnawing at him from the inside out.

He could tell by the heaviness to your body and the weight in your voice the alcohol was catching up to you, fatigue nearby. He contemplated the predicament for a good long while, using the time to relish in the warm and comfortable affection of your shared embrace.

“Alright,” he replied, his voice nearly as low as yours muffled in his shirt. Joel knew it wasn’t the best idea to let you stay, but he was also quickly discovering just how difficult it was for him to deny you. You were both playing a dangerous game.

Wordlessly, Joel led you up the stairs with one hand at the small of your back, and the other at your bicep for stability. Your steps were heavy, and he noted the way you would lift your hand every few moments to rub at your tired eyes. He couldn’t help but find it painfully adorable.

There was no harm in you sleeping here, right? He would lead you to his bed, help you get settled, and dutifully take the couch. There, he could spend the rest of the night reeling over his questionable judgment.

Guiding you up the stairs, Joel made sure to flicker the big light off before maneuvering you into his bedroom. He got you safely seated at the edge of the mattress before you finally gave way to your weak muscles, snorting under his breath at the way you unabashedly splayed back against the mattress, groaning and squeezing your eyes shut. He knew that feeling all too well.

“Want somethin’ else to sleep in?” he asked, observing the undoubtedly uncomfortable jeans and white button up you’d spent your evening in. But you were already shifting on the bed, curling into a fetal position with your head nuzzled into the pillow he usually slept on. You reached for the covers, pulling them absentmindedly around your body, mumbling a nuh uh.

Joel sighed. Well, he wasn’t going to get anywhere else with you tonight, that was certain. So instead of dragging out your consciousness any longer, he carefully approached the side of the mattress, adjusting the sheets so they laid nicely over your huddled body, gingerly swiping a strand of hair that had slid over your eyes back away from your face. He stared at you for a moment then. Even in the darkness, he could make out your soft features; long eyelashes tickling your cheeks, lips slightly parted with gentle puffs of air. He didn’t indulge himself in watching you sleep for too long, but he was a bit alarmed at just how long he could have stood there, content in observing such a mundane activity. Of course, it was only because it was you partaking in it. No one else could make dreams look as peaceful.

He steadied his hands on the mattress, leaning down to press a ghost of a kiss to your temple. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered, leaving the door cracked just the slightest when he left the room. In case you needed him. In case you wanted him. Even if, like it had been so many times before, it was just to have someone to talk to.

Joel didn’t know how much he missed the sound of your voice until he heard it again.

Sharp, searing pain is what you were awoken to. Mostly behind the eyes, radiating through your skull and throbbing in a way that had you struggling to open them. But just as you were able to get a good squint, the sheer shock of your environment outweighed the pain. You shot up with a gasp, frantically looking around and grasping at the unfamiliar bed sheets until it hit you. You were not in some stranger's bed.

This was Joel’s room.

The scent of it alone could’ve told you so, but as you blinked away the lingering fatigue, the night came back to you in pieces. Your less than thrilling date with Noah. Your decision to drown those sorrows with some hefty drinks, which was quickly followed by the even more foolish decision to stomp your way over to Joel Miller's house and tell him off for kissing you then ignoring you for two weeks.

Oh fuck.

You cradled your head in your hands. What did you say? Even worse, what did you do? You were a notoriously emotional drunk, and while you couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact words you chose to give Joel, you knew they couldn’t be good.

Immediately, you began looking around for an escape plan. You could use the window; it was the second story, but these old houses weren’t built too tall and Joel’s yard was covered in grass. Maybe he was still asleep? The front door seemed like a much less likely option. But just as you began contemplating the escape, your eyes quickly fell to the bedside table where a glass of water and a worn bottle of ibuprofen sat. Below each item was a scrap of paper that read drink me and take me, respectively.

You felt that warmth rush into your chest again. Leaning over, you picked up the slips of paper, running your fingers over the scribbled penmanship. There was something incredibly intimate about him leaving you a handwritten note, and you couldn’t help but savor the feeling. Maybe this was proof alone that you didn’t embarrass yourself too bad last night.

You reached over for the water and pills then, popping two into your mouth and chugging back the cool liquid when you heard the creak of the bedroom door. You froze, eyes wide over the rim of the glass as you watched it crack open, Joel’s head peeking through seconds later.

His own brows shot to his forehead. “Oh,” he said quietly, pushing the door open the rest of the way to stand still in the doorframe. “You’re awake.”

You quickly swallowed the rest of the water, setting the glass back on the table, and attempting to smooth back some of the hair in your face. You probably looked like a mess. Meanwhile, the morning suited Joel. You had never seen him so lax; charcoal sweatpants hanging deliciously on his hips, coupled with a black t-shirt that hugged his body a little too well. His usually tame curls were messy, and your fingers ached with the instinct to touch them. This was certainly a sight you could get used to.

“Yeah,” you breathed, opting to fiddle with your nails below the sheets instead. “Thank you, um…thank you for taking care of me.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, giving you a few gentle nods. “‘Course,” was all he said, and you felt like you could scream. You couldn’t read him, couldn’t decipher the thoughts behind those intense eyes. The anticipation of his mood was almost too much to handle, and before you knew it, the incessant anxiety was taking over.

“Joel,” you whispered after a long moment, watching the way his brows quirked at the sound of his name. And then, just like they had done so many times before, the flood gates opened. “Joel, I’m — I’m so sorry. I don’t, I don’t know what came over me. I went on that stupid date, and it was just, just awful, and I was mad at you, and didn’t know how to handle it–”

He held up a hand to cease your prattling, and you did, shutting your mouth and opting to chew on the inside of your lip instead while you anxiously awaited his voice.

When he dropped his hand, he sighed a heavy sigh, slowly making his way across the room to the bedside. Wordlessly, you shifted over, giving him the space to sit down at the edge of the mattress, turning over his shoulder to face you. The sudden proximity had you tensing. “If anyone should be apologizin’, it’s me.” It wasn’t what you were expecting him to say, but you didn’t interrupt. Something in the way his countenance faltered told you this kind of conversation wasn’t all that easy for Joel.

You felt the air leave your lungs when he looked up at you through hooded eyes, the utter remorse in them palpable, honest. “You trusted me with somethin’ personal, somethin’ special, and I — I broke that trust.” Your heart ached in your chest, and you felt guilty for ever assuming he was incapable of owning up to his mistakes. “And m’sorry,” he concluded. All you could do was stare at him, trying to process his earnest apology. Even though it filled you to the brim with adoration, it still didn’t answer why he had avoided you in the first place.

“Do you regret it?” you finally whispered, barely audible. You were afraid of the answer. “Do you…do you regret kissing me?”

The knot returned to his brows. “What? No.” His hand was on your thigh over the blankets then, and you felt your entire body ignite in response. He gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “No, not at all.”

Taking a brave leap, you carefully placed your own hand atop of his, savoring the familiar roughness. “Then why haven’t you talked to me?” The way your eyes bore into one another, you weren’t sure if you had ever looked at Joel this long. At least not while he was looking back. You thought you would be afraid of the intensity, but quite the contrary. Your bodies had shifted closer to one another on the mattress, like magnets.

He released another heavy sigh, dropping his eyes to your touching hands. His fingers twitched the slightest bit, and you used the opportunity to slip yours between them, curling them over the top of his hand. You gave him a squeeze back. It’s okay, you wanted to tell him. You can tell me. You can talk to me. But you were patient, knowing Joel was the kind of man who needed to come to you in his own time.

“‘Cause I– I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did,” he admitted quietly, so quietly you almost missed it. He still didn’t look at you. “And when I felt the way I did about it…I panicked. Didn’t know what the right thing to do was, didn’t know what you were thinkin’ about it all...” His words trailed, and you considered them for a long moment.

Didn’t know what you were thinkin’ about it all.

What were you thinking? So many things, too many to count. But right there, sitting in Joel’s bed with his hand on you, his body and breath so close, all you thought about was the good. How good you felt when he kissed you. The bad and ugly melted away with your sadness, your anger.

“I think…” you started after a beat, your voice almost as soft as his. “I think that I haven’t stopped thinking about it for a single moment since it happened.”

His eyes were on you again, but this time, there was questioning to them, as if he was searching for any sign that your words were less than sincere. You didn’t give him a second of doubt. Instead, you dragged his hand across your lap and settled it on your hip. He watched you intently, compliant to your ministrations. You used the opportunity to scoot forward again, his hip touching up against your thigh.

“Yeah?” he asked, quietly.

“Yeah,” you breathed.

Then, Joel Miller stole your second kiss, and it was just as magical as the first.

The hand that wasn’t on your hip came to cradle the back of your neck, teasing his lips against yours with a delicate brush before giving you the feeling you craved most over the past two weeks. It bursted inside of you like a goddamn bomb, coating your belly in warmth.

You leaned into him, gripping his arms, then his shoulders, holding yourself steady. His kiss was slow, and deep. Savoring every second of your lips. This time around, when his tongue taunted your bottom lip, you parted them. He tasted like coffee and something sweet, and you quickly found it was one of the most delectable tastes to ever touch your tongue.

You were starting to feel hot. Still confined in the clothes you wore the night before, you became acutely aware of the situation. Alone together. In Joel’s bed. With his hands and lips on you. You wanted to feel him everywhere all at once.

“Joel,” you sang during a brief break of air, nails digging into his shirt. He continued to steal quaint kisses, only humming in response. You snuck one of your hands up into his hair, mimicking his hold on you. “I need you…I need you to touch me.”

This seemed to get his attention. He stilled, pulling back only enough for his nose to bump yours. Dark, brown, beautiful eyes blown wide to study you.

“Darlin’,” he whispered, giving your hip a tender squeeze. “We shouldn’t, I mean, I—you’re—”

You knew what he was insinuating. You didn’t have to say it out loud for Joel to assume.

You’re a virgin.

“I don’t care,” you rushed out despite the bubbling anxiety in the pit of your stomach. It had to happen eventually, why not now? Why not with Joel?

You saw him bite at his bottom lip, his gaze ravenous even in the midst of his hesitancy. “I just…I wanna make sure you know what you’re askin’ for.”

“Tell me,” you whispered against his lips breathlessly, tugging at his curls to keep him close. “Tell me you feel nothing for me, and I’ll stop. I’ll stop pushing it.”

Joel groaned, the kind that suggested the frustrating restraint of desire. “You know I can’t do that, sweetheart.” You knew. God, you knew, but that didn’t stop the rush of heat from darting to your core when he admitted it.

“Then please,” you begged, slinking your arms fully around his shoulders to pull yourself up. You hovered over him, lips barely dancing atop of his. “Please touch me, Joel.”

There were a few more beats of reservation until he simply couldn’t help himself any longer. He stood from the bed, bringing you to your knees with him at the edge of the mattress. Your hands never left him, engulfing yourself fully around his neck, his own steady at your waist, holding onto it for dear life. Then, he was kissing you again with an increased intensity that knocked the wind out of you.

Everything suddenly became overwhelming, the heightened awareness of your body and the way he maneuvered it foreign and exciting. You were unable to mask the whimper that escaped you when his lips abandoned yours for your jaw, your neck, finding a deliciously sensitive spot at the base of your throat and sucking on it gingerly. Your head lulled back in a daze, and you felt his hands slip under the hem of your button up, tickling at the skin of your sides.

“You’re so goddamn soft,” he muttered into the crook of your neck, his hands traveling further forward until they were toying with the buttons on your shirt. “Can I take this off, darlin’?”

You nodded frantically, unable to quite find your voice. You scooted back a bit, giving him space to manipulate his fingers down the front of your shirt, carefully popping each button. When the fabric fell open, Joel seethed a shit under his breath. You weren’t wearing a bra, the cool air peaking your nipples. You felt the heat rising on your skin at the way his eyes took in every inch of you, careful fingers pushing back the collar until the shirt slipped off your shoulders.

No man had ever seen you naked. Well, not purposefully. With the group you traveled with before you ended up in Jackson, it was inevitable to reveal yourself a time or two, changing or bathing in such close quarters. You thought you would be bashful, maybe even uncomfortable. But with the way Joel was looking at you, eyes full of nothing but careful adoration, you felt exhilarated.

“Lay back, babygirl,” Joel instructed softly, the new pet name making your heart flutter in your chest. You obeyed his wish, carefully shuffling yourself until you could lay your head back onto his pillows, watchful eyes following him as he sauntered over to the end of the mattress.

He moved with such diligence, a man of many years who seemed to have perfected just living in the beautiful state he inhabited. You watched him with the same intensity as he rid himself of his own shirt, revealing his sturdy chest and plush belly. Your mouth watered with anticipation when the mattress dipped, Joel crawling up the empty space to settle himself between your legs.

Bare chest to chest, your skin was on fire. You looked up at him wide eyed, suddenly in a suspension of disbelief. This was happening. Really happening. The fantasies you had worked so diligently to shove deep down inside you manifesting before your eyes; you would have been content to never see them flourish, as having Joel Miller by your side in any shape or form was a reward, but this? This was so much better.

He leaned down, pressing the softest kiss to your parted lips. “You okay?” His forearms rested on either side of your head, and when you nodded, he brought a single hand down to toy with the strands of hair at your temple. “If we’re gonna go any further, I need you to talk to me, darlin’. Think you can do that?”

You nodded again, and he gave you a knowing look, a small smirk quirking up on his lips. “Sorry,” you squeaked. “Yes…yes, I-I can do that.”

Talking. Talking was good. Nerves were inevitable, and hearing Joel’s voice would soothe you through it. Dampen the fears, the inexperience, the insecurities.

“And if you want me to stop,” he continued, his lips returning to your fiery skin, trailing barely there kisses down the expanse of your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut, hands grasping at his bare sides. “You tell me right away.” His kisses littered your throat, your collarbone, all the way to your breasts where they ghosted over your nipples, aching for attention. “Understand?” His lips wrapped around one of them then, and you arched off the mattress with a gasp.

“Y-yes,” you mewled. Maybe talking was going to be much more difficult than you expected. “I-I understand, Joel.”

“Good girl,” he praised softly, and good god if it didn’t shoot straight to your core, which you were now vividly aware was pressed up against the growing outline in his sweatpants.

He continued his descent, gracing your skin with his feathery kisses and stopping just short of the waistband of your jeans. The discomfort from sleeping in them was quickly replaced by the discomfort below them. You were dripping.

“Do you touch yourself, pretty girl?” Joel whispered against the skin below your belly button, bringing a hand down to slowly undo the buttons on your jeans. “When you’re all alone, do you make yourself feel good?”

You had your arms splayed to either side of you, unsure of where to touch, to grab, fingers balled into fists. His question alone drew another whimper from you, and you heard the zipper on your pants go down.

“Yes,” you answered honestly. You had done your fair share of exploration over the years, always in private, and always just enough to get you over the edge so many seemed to talk so highly about. But you never felt this hot with your own hands.

Joel hummed in approval. “Good. That’s good. Lift up—” he said, giving your thighs a light tap. You lifted your hips from the mattress, allowing him room to shuffle the fabric off your legs. You assisted him towards the end, fluttering your feet until you could kick the jeans to the floor. Within seconds, he was back between your thighs, this time straddling his shoulders as he settled further down the mattress. His face was inches away from your cunt, now only protected by the thin cotton barrier.

“And when you touch yourself,” he continued, fingers tracing the softest shapes on the outside of your thighs, over your hips. You could feel his hot breath through your panties, and it made you squirm. “How many fingers do you use?”

The subject matter was crude at its core, but something about the words coming off Joel’s lips made them sound completely earnest. Like he wanted to know, needed to know. You weren’t sure how much longer you could last without his attention where you needed it most.

“Two. Sometimes, maybe three, but I like—” Your chest heated with embarrassment. You had spoken so openly about so many things with Joel over your months as partners, but never anything like this.

His brows perked up in interest from between your legs, continuing the teasing caresses of your thighs. “What, darlin’?” He placed a kiss on the inside of your left thigh, and you could’ve sworn you saw stars. “What do you like? You can tell me.”

Your breath was no longer your own, heaving uncontrollably. Sweat rolling on your temples. He certainly knew how to work you up.

You bit your bottom lip. “I like…I like to rub my clit,” you whispered, wincing at the way the vulgar words sounded coming out of your mouth. But Joel practically growled below you, eyes closing momentarily.

He leaned forward, breathing in your core and running his nose along the patch of dampness. That was when your hands abandoned the sheets, instinctively coming up to grab at his curls. “Oh, baby,” he hummed, hands leaving your thighs to curl his fingers into the waistband of your panties. “Yeah, I can do that. Promise to take real good care of you.”

And you believed him, which had you wasting little time in lifting your hips again, allowing him to strip you of your last piece of clothing. He took a moment to rake his eyes over you before leaning back down, your glistening center clenching around nothing as the cold air tickled the flesh.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, guiding the crux of your knees over either shoulder.

You were fully exposed to this man, for the first time ever to the eyes of another, and yet, you had never felt more exhilarated. You wondered if that was simply because it was Joel. No one else in this fucked up world could make you feel so comfortable as to bare your heart, soul, and body to them.

“Joel, please,” you begged again, this time, giving a bold tug to his hair. “Please.” You needed something, anything he would provide you.

He didn’t keep you in anticipation much longer. He wetted his lips before his head dipped between your legs, warm tongue licking a slow strip across your outer lips, all the way up to your clit that stood taut, moving the tip of his tongue in calculated flicks.

“Oh, fuck!” you shrieked, eyes screwing shut and hips bucking up off the mattress. Joel was quick to combat this, sturdy hands gripping you by the hips and bringing you back down to earth while he paid mindful attention to your swollen clit, just like you asked him to.

But it was much different having someone’s mouth on you. Joel’s mouth. The familiar coil in your belly built much quicker while he suckled on the sensitive bud. “Joel,” you moaned, to which he hummed in response, sending the most delectable vibrations through you. “More. Your fingers, please.”

He never took his lips off of you when you felt the pads of his fingers prod at your hole, already leaking with desire. You anticipated his fingers to be much larger than yours, but when he sunk his two digits in, the stretch was satisfying. The way he worked up your arousal aiding in how easy it was to slowly pump them in and out, curling up ever so slightly to find the spongy spot inside of you.

You couldn’t quite process it; the attentiveness, how effortless it was for him to listen to your needs. Word of mouth had given you a low standard of expectation for your first experience, but something told you Joel would exceed every string of disappointment.

He began to quicken his pace, the flex of his forearm curving his fingers up into that sweet spot with precision, leaving your toes to clench and your thighs to squeeze around his head. You were singing his name like a prayer, the only word you could find as your abdomen tightened, a subtle tremor cursing through your legs. You craned your neck up from the pillows, compelling yourself to find the image of him nestled between your thighs. And fuck, was it glorious. His hooded eyes were already on you, pupils blown wide, breathing frantically through his nose while his lips continued their ambush on you. You quickly brushed the stray curls from his forehead, wanting to have a clear view of his eyes when your jaw fell slack, the euphoric high starting at your core and bursting out over the rest of you. At first, you couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. But Joel kept working his tongue over your clit and his fingers inside of you through your orgasm so adamantly that your head flung back, thighs clamped around his head, and a lewd moan echoed off your lips. Thank god no one else was home, as you were pretty sure the neighbors could hear how good Joel Miller was making you feel.

“Fuck, fuck, oh fuck.” You were a sputtering mess while he teetered you towards overstimulation, but soon enough, his sucking turned to gentle kisses, and his fingers slowed their assault. When he dragged them out of you, you could hear the sound of your slick. And when you finally had the energy to peer down at him, you could see his patchy beard covered in it, too. But Joel was as much a taker as a giver it seemed, for when he pulled his face away from between your thighs, you watched him bring the glistening digits up to his lips and suck them clean.

He grinned down at you when he popped them out of his mouth. “So damn sweet, darlin’.” This had you giggling, a mixture of inevitable embarrassment and bliss. You brought your hands up tiredly to cover your heated cheeks, but Joel was having none of it. He dragged them down, replacing them with peppered kisses to your nose, your forehead, your cheeks, until he landed on your lips, joining in on the soft laughter between each peck.

It was cathartic. Sharing in such joy after a moment of such intensity. You had always thought sex needed to be this serious, meticulous act. That didn’t seem to be the case with Joel; he was the same him, you were the same you. And that was enough.

Hovering above you again, you wrapped your still shaky legs around his hips. His hands were back at your hairline, now doused in sweat, carefully pushing back the pieces that stuck to your skin.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

You nodded. “Yes.” You snaked a hand in between the two of you, mimicking his soft caresses to the saturated patches of hair on his jaw. “More than okay.”

You were fucking incredible. On cloud nine, in fact. Every worry of the day, week, month seemingly lost to the euphoria that was Joel’s hands on you.

“We can stop at any time if it’s gettin’ too much,” he reminded you, and you knew the terse look in his eye came from nowhere else but concern.

Your brows pulled over your eyes, pouting up at him. “I don’t wanna stop,” you muttered, tracing your finger over his jawline. “Do you want to stop?”

“No, fuck. No, sweetheart, ‘course I don’t wanna stop,” he reassured you. “I just want you to know that even if we don’t go all the way…that doesn't make this a failure.”

You could’ve cried right then and there. This man. This stoic, brooding man who you had spent so much time avoiding your feelings for might have been the sweetest, gentlest man you had ever encountered underneath all of that heavy armor he insisted on carrying. You wanted to help him with the weight, take as much of it as you could muster onto your shoulders, and free him of his worries and pain.

You took a deep breath, swallowing back the lump in your throat and bringing both hands up to cradle his cheeks. He looked you in the eye, focused. “I want to feel this with you,” you spoke softly, never faltering from his deep gaze. “I trust you, Joel. With everything I have.”

Taking a leap of faith, you trailed your hands from his cheeks all the way down his torso until your fingers fiddled with the tie on his sweatpants. You gave it a tug, letting the stings fall open. He watched you, and when he felt the still of your hands, took it upon himself to slowly peel back, shuffling to the edge of the mattress to rid himself of his pants.

When they hit the floor, your lips parted in a sharp inhale. Joel Miller carried every trait of a man who was well endowed, but to see the sacred part of him up close was an entirely different experience than imagining it. Thick and already leaking with precum, you were enamored by the dark vein that ran along the underside of his cock, standing proud and eager against his lower stomach. You tried not to let your eyes linger on it too long when he crawled back up to you, settling between your legs. You felt another rush of arousal when his warm cock laid up against your core.

“I’m a little nervous,” you whispered, scared that if you admitted it too loud, he would change his mind.

That couldn’t be further from the truth; you knew so when he graced you with that subtle, doting smile. The kind that just reached his eyes enough for you to see the little crinkles at the edges.

“I know, baby, but I promise I’ve got ya. It’s just you and me, okay?” You nodded slowly, suddenly overcome with unexpected emotion again. Your eyes glistened, the tenderness of his voice healing something deep inside you. “If we’re bein’ honest, I’m a little nervous too.” His grin only increased upon your reaction, looking up at him as if that was the most ridiculous thing in the world. “S’been a long time for me.”

Oh. You suppose you never thought about it that way. You gave way to the moment, leaning up to press a quaint kiss to his lips. “You and me,” you echoed his words and his smile.

He returned the gentle kiss. “Hold on to me,” he instructed, and you brought your arms back around his neck, keeping him close. He reached between your bodies, and you felt the tip of his cock run across your awaiting folds. You dug your teeth into your bottom lip, tensing in anticipation. “Relax, baby. S’gonna feel a lot better if you try to relax.”

You heeded his warning, taking in a deep inhale through your nose and out through your mouth. “Go slow, please,” you whimpered. His forehead touched yours when he nodded.

“I will,” he promised, nudging the tip of him against your hole, still slick with arousal. And you were grateful for it when he notched himself inside of you, eliciting a gasp from the both of you.

You knew it was just the tip of him, but that didn’t stop your eyes from rolling back. Warm and firm, nestling perfectly inside of you. You welcomed the intrusion, continuing to focus on your breathing. “A little more,” you urged him, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of neck. Joel was panting right along with you, and despite the growing lust, kept his promise of taking it slow. He guided himself an inch further, then another, another, until you were digging your nails into his scalp, a whine coming through gritted teeth.

The stretch stung, but his pace kept it bearable. You did your best to stay perfectly still, worrying if you moved too much any way, the pain would worsen. Tears began to prickle at your waterline, a combination of discomfort and every overwhelming emotion coursing through you.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he praised, lips tickling the shell of your ear. “You’re doin’ so good for me. So, so good.”

His genuine words made you want to do better, sending little flutters through your stomach. It was astonishing the way his words alone could inflict such a response from you.

After a moment, you were able to relax into the intrusion. Eyes still shut, you nudged your nose up against his. “Just…just do the rest all at once,” you squeaked. The sooner, the better. Dragging it out would only elongate the process of getting it over with, and you couldn’t wait any longer to cross the threshold. He was still for a moment, and then, placing a steadying hand on one of your hips, Joel sheathed himself fully inside of you, filling you to the brim.

Your lips fell open in a wail, the tears that lingered at your eyes falling over your cheeks. Joel’s delicate lips were on your neck, leaving kisses and whispering words of encouragement.

“M’gonna stay just like this for a minute,” he said after a moment, your walls involuntarily fluttering around him, getting use to the sheer size of him. With every passing moment, you willed yourself to unwind, focusing on the sound of Joel’s breathing.

You took your time, only opening your eyes when you really felt ready. You found Joel had lifted his head from your neck, already looking at you with tender concern. “It’s okay,” you panted, nodding slowly, sniffling back the tears. “I’m…it’s not so bad.” It was only then that you realized how full you felt, full of Joel. He was reaching a depth of you otherwise untouched, the thought alone having you clench around him.

He grunted, and you noted the twitch of restraint in his focused brow. “You can move,” you said, bringing a shaky hand up to push the sweat-clad curls off his forehead.

He looked at you hesitantly. “Are you sure—”

“Joel,” you hummed, carefully tilting your hips up, inviting him in. Another shared gasp. “Please.”

The thrusts began as gentle rocks of his hips, never pulling too far in or out, just enough to explore the feeling of him moving inside of you. The pain was no longer the instigator of your tears — it was the intensity of Joel’s eyes, looking down at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

Then, he was grinding into you in languid strokes, the sound of slick skin singing in the air. Gradually, you got used to the fullness, anticipating it every time he would pull out of you before advancing forward. Soft grunts fell from Joel’s lips when he’d hit the deep spot inside of you, something about the sounds he made sending shivers down your spine.

But the real pleasure came when he reached a hand between your conjoined bodies, finding your neglected clit, and circling the two of his fingers around it.

The moan that fell from your lips was obscene. Oh. Oh, this was new. Suddenly, the pain was a dampened after thought; the feeling of fullness mixed with the sensation of his fingers rubbing at your sensitive bud sent your body alight. You didn’t even notice how vocal you had become, wanton whines and increased panting, until you felt Joel’s lips at your ear again.

“Yeah?” he muttered, his voice dropping an octave. “That feelin’ good baby?”

So good. Oh, it was so fucking good. You wanted to tell him, scream it at the top of your lungs, but your voice was caught in your throat, too overwhelmed by the newfound ecstasy. Your ankles had mindlessly latched around his back, too hellbent on keeping him deep inside of you to let go.

When the circling of his fingers picked up, so did his thrusts. The weight of his heavy balls slapped against you, nestling up into the same spot his fingers found earlier, leaving you to arch off the mattress.

“Fuck, darlin’,” he growled, teeth grazing your carotid. “You feel so fuckin’ good around me.”

You were a whimpering mess, legs starting to tremble again around him. “More, Joel,” you breathed, not even quite sure what more of you were asking for. “P-please, I need more.”

He seemed to understand, because before you knew it, he was rutting into you quicker, deeper. The curve of his cock worked into you, somehow finding the right spot inside of you every single time. Your body moved on its own violation, hips grinding upwards to meet him in the middle of every thrust. The litany of your moans and his grunts sung through the air like sweet music, and you thought you may have never experienced life before the way you did in that moment; body and mind completely consumed by another, this feeling forever Joel’s to give you for the first time.

You were burning from the inside out, unable to keep up with the way your body gave way to the pure euphoria coursing through you, until the pressure in your belly was too much to bear. Your toes curled, legs trembled so hard that they fell limp around him, a fire traveling through you from your point of connection.

“Oh god. Oh fuck, oh fuck — uungh — Joel—!”

He held you through the entirety of your second release, stronger than any you had ever experienced. You clenched around him feverishly, coating his swelling cock in your honey. Your head thrown back, you felt the tickle of his hair against your neck as he buried his face into the crook, the sputter of his hips growing sloppy as you milked him towards the edge. You weren’t even down from the high when his hand abandoned your clit, quickly pulling himself out of you and giving himself a few steady pumps. You opened your eyes just in time to see the way his lips fell apart and his face contorted in beautiful bliss before he was spilling himself onto your stomach.

You had low expectations for your first time, always had. The idea of finishing not even a pressure you bothered to burden yourself with. It would be easier to pretend it was something magical, extraordinary. A fluke, even. But the truth was…it was just Joel.

You and me.

His words continued to ring true. And when you both settled your breathing, finding each other again in the exchange of wide, wondrous eyes, you slowly fell back into the soft fit of laughter. Pure contentment. A happiness long abandoned to a world that robbed you of any glimpse of achieving it.

When he kissed you then, soft and sweet, you knew he felt it too.

The rest of the morning was spent in a domestic stupor. You spent a good chunk of time basking in each other's arms, curled up against Joel’s chest, tracing the shape of every scar you could find. You didn’t press him for their backstories, instead, choosing to admire the character and history they gave him.

When you both finally found the strength to get up, he suggested a shower. At first, he was content to let you go alone, offering to take one after. But the glint in your eye and the pout at your lip told him you had other plans, and soon enough, you were both crammed into the small space. It didn’t bother you, giving you ample excuse to have your arms around him and feel his hands on you.

He washed your hair, the soothing circles of his fingers nearly aiding you back to sleep right then and there. Of course, he was stubborn in letting you return the favor, so you settled for a gentle massage to his shoulders while he worked his fingers through his curls.

He offered you some of his clothes, considering yours reeked of alcohol and sweat from the night prior. One of his flannels and clean pair of sweatpants, which you rolled up to avoid tripping over.

He graciously invited you downstairs, offering to whip up some breakfast and get a pot of coffee started. There was something undeniably sexy about Joel in such a casual setting. You had never spent this much time in his house, normally only stopping by for a brief moment to pick up something you had left behind on patrol or drop off a menial item Ellie asked to borrow.

The air was different now. Something palpable shifting, and it was equal parts frightening and exhilarating. You felt like you were glowing.

You had so many questions. So many doubts. Hopes. Afraid that if you pushed them too soon, you would risk the chance of losing an opportunity for something altogether. So you kept your mouth shut, opting to sit atop the counter next to the stovetop while Joel cooked, savoring the scent of brewing coffee and freshly washed hair.

When the pot dinged, Joel reached in the cupboards for two mugs, and just as he poured yours, handing it to you, the front door slammed open then shut. You both froze.

“I’m home!” Ellie’s voice shrieked, followed by the sound of her shuffling about and approaching footsteps.

“Shit,” Joel muttered quietly under his breath, bracing a hand against the counter. You turned your head towards the kitchen entryway just as she approached it, the guiltiest look on both of your faces.

The thud of her backpack hit the wooden floor, and as soon as she looked up, her eyes began to process the sight before her. She fluttered her gaze between the two of you, damp haired, disheveled clothes, tired eyes. Not even a beat later, a brazen grin spread across her cheeks.

“Well, well, well,” she tsked slowly, folding her arms across her chest. You bit at the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing, maybe crying? Both. You could see Joel going rigid in your peripheral, knuckles white against his own coffee mug.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who had a slumber party.”

You literally snorted out a laugh, immediately bringing your hand up to smack over your mouth and nose at the sound.

“Ellie!” Joel barked, but the teenager remained unfazed. She flashed you her knowing smirk before her eyes were back on Joel in torment.

“What?!” she feigned innocence. “I’m just sayin’, it’s about fucking time you two stopped dancing around each other. It was painful to watch, seriously.”

“Oh my god.” When you looked over to Joel, his face was bright red, jaw set tense while he glared at the girl in plain irritation. You couldn’t help but find it utterly adorable and quite amusing. “Would’ya just…just go to your damn room or somethin’?”

Ellie simply continued her coy stare while she leaned down to pick up her pack, slinging it over her shoulder. She turned to you then, putting on her best polite facade and bidding you a proper good morning, to which you returned, both quite giggly. Just before she slipped out of the room, she stopped short, peeking her head back in.

“Oh, hey,” she chirped towards you. “They’re showing a new tape in the barn later. And this one —” she gave Joel an aggressive point, “has patrol duty. You wanna come with me instead?”

You had experienced your fair share of activities with Ellie. You were friends. The age difference could not diminish the joy the girl brought to you and so many others in Jackson; she was a firecracker, reminding you a bit of yourself at that age. A breath of fresh air to the community after months of stiffs who had nothing better to do than gossip or stir up trouble.

And yet, the nonchalance of her invitation — as if it was the clearest thing in the world to her in that moment, that embarrassing, unexpected moment — made your heart swell.

You smiled back at her, nodding. “I’d love to.” You would love to spend time with Ellie. Joel’s Ellie. Undoubtedly the most important thing in the world to him, and she wanted to share her evening with you.

As she puttered out of the room, you waited until you heard her door shut upstairs before your eyes were back on Joel. His own were an array of annoyance and embarrassment, to which you returned with a reassuring smile.

He went on to mutter something about that kid being the death of him, and you let him. Let him grump away as he continued the breakfast preparations, otherwise casual over the intrusion. He wasn’t ashamed that she saw you, caught you both like this. The realization of it all consumed you rather rapidly. As you watched him tend to you in his kitchen, his home, you felt a bit of that worry dissipate into more hope.

And for the first time since Joel Miller came into your life, you could truly imagine what it would be like to be his.

my kofi!! if you’re interested in supporting my work :)

I am no longer doing tag lists! please follow @cavillscurlsupdates and turn on notifications to be notified when I update!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us #tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #ellie williams

5K notes · View notes

pedrospatch · 7 months ago

Text

a safe haven l ten

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: After a long night, Joel and Ellie take you home.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF AN INJURY SUSTAINED FROM AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PREGNANCY, CONVERSATIONS SURROUNDING PREGNANCY LOSS . PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. Ellie and reader are very close to each other, Joel deals with feelings of guilt, Joel and Maria make nice, Joel gives reader a bath and washes her hair, food consumption (i am just gonna apologize to my lactose intolerant folks right now, trust me i must pretend with you), both reader and Joel have some big feelings, reader mentions her deceased father, angst, soft and domestic Joel, fluff.

word count: 5k

a/n: i have not updated this series since october. :l i feel a a mixed bag of emotions updating after all this time, but most of all, i am grateful to know there are a couple of people out there who are still invested in this story. to anyone who has been waiting: truly, it means the world that you have shown me patience, support, and kindness. believe me, i am going to be seeing this story to the end, and it is all thanks to those who continue to show this lil story of mine a whole lotta love. special shoutout to the loveliest human @mrsmando who made me this beautiful mooodboard every single time i got stuck during this chapter, i looked at it and it gave me the boost of inspiration i needed. thank you mimi <33 this chapter is fairly tame, the next chapter is already in the works, and there are a couple of time jumps coming. overall, we are down to the last handful of chapters. let’s finish this story and give these two the ending they deserve, shall we?

“What the hell is taking Tommy so fucking long?” Ellie whines. She’s sprawled out on the couch with her head in your lap, and her arm draped over her eyes. Her feet are hanging, dangling over the edge of the couch at an odd angle after you’d warned her not to get muck from her sneakers on the linen fabric. Despite Joel insisting over and over that she head on back to the house, she had stubbornly refused, not wanting to leave your side. “It’s been over two hours! He’s taking fucking forever, man. What’s the fucking hold up?”

Joel bites back a sigh, masking his own impatience. Or at least, he tries. He’s grown just as restless as the kid, if not more. Much like Ellie, he’s desperate. He’s itching to take you home already, almost too anxious to watch you take that first step over his threshold, and into your new life with him and with Ellie. He aches, aches, to get you settled into the place where you would be spending the remainder of your days with one another, where you would be safe, and loved in the way you deserved to be loved—the place where he would cherish and adore you until his final breath.

“Don’t know,” he answers, his voice sounding rougher, more gruff than usual. Reaching up, he scrubs his hand down the side of his face, adding tiredly, “He might be a while longer, kiddo. It could be another hour, could be more. Like I already told you, s’probably best if you just go on and head back to the house without us, alright?”

“No. I’m not walking out that fucking door unless she’s with me.” She pauses and pulls her arm away from her face for a moment, just long enough to throw a teeny glare his way. “Unless you’re both with me. The three of us go home together, or it’s no fucking deal. Got it?”

He shakes his head in utter exasperation.

“Ellie, we’ll be right here down the fuckin’ road—”

Her hand shoots out and she flips him off.

Just when he’s about to chastise her, he stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. It’s pointless.

Kid’s too goddamn hard headed for her own good, and Joel knows he’s just wasting his breath with her.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” you reassure them both, weaving your fingers through her hair to scratch at her scalp in an effort to soothe her. “Right, Joel?”

He meets your exhausted, worn down gaze from where he’s standing across the room, and his heart lurches in his chest. As the guilt begins creeping in, he’s forced to look away. He can’t imagine the living hell you had been through over the last twenty four hours alone. And the worst part about it was the realization that last night, while he was fast asleep in bed just a couple of houses up the road, that fucking bastard had his belt wrapped around your throat.

Joel feels sick to his fucking stomach all over again.

Horrifying, vividly real images of you helplessly trapped underneath Luke scratching and clawing at the leather around your neck with trembling fingers, struggling to breathe oxygen into your burning lungs as he tugged it tighter and tighter through the buckle flash in his mind, a gruesome nightmare turned into reality.

Exactly how far had Luke taken it?

Until you had grown too weak to keep fighting?

Until you almost lost complete consciousness?

Until he noticed the life threatening to leave your eyes?

Is that when he had finally stopped pulling on the belt?

Joel shudders, a bitter taste climbing up his throat as it sinks in. He could have lost you—and his unborn child.

This shouldn’t have happened.

He shouldn’t have let you walk away that night.

This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t let you walk away from him that night.

“Joel,” you say his name, quiet and weary.

His head snaps back in your direction and he glances at you, almost missing the subtle shake of your head. It is a silent warning telling him not to go there, though you know by the tight clench of his jaw it’s too late for that.

Joel makes the futile attempt to hide it, but he sees it written all over your face—you know what he’s thinking because you know him like the back of your own hand, and you just know he’s placing all of the blame for what happened to you on his own shoulders.

But can you honestly fault him for that?

How can you expect him not to feel like he is somehow responsible for this? Just how the hell is he supposed to make himself believe he hadn’t failed you?

Joel promised—he had fucking promised you—that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. He had sworn to keep you safe, made a vow to protect you from Luke, but here you are, your soft, delicate flesh marred with the painful evidence of yet another one of his failures.

And it was all because he had let you walk away on that fucking night.

He should have done something.

Even if it meant running the risk of you never speaking to him again—even if you never forgave him, spent the rest of your life angry and hating him for going against your wishes. He should have something.

“Joel—”

“Be right back,” he mutters, lightly shaking his head.

Shoving away from the doorframe he’s leaning against, Joel pivots on the heel of his boot and starts down the hallway. He walks into the kitchen where he finds Maria standing at the counter, tapping her fingers against the smooth, laminated oakwood as she waits for the coffee she’d offered him a few minutes ago to finish brewing. She’d offered to whip up a quick supper, but food was the last thing on everyone’s mind.

“Tommy’s been gone for a couple hours now. Girls are startin’ to get real tired of just sittin’ around waitin’ for him to come back,” he tells her, exhaling the sigh he’d held back in the living room. “What do you think could be keepin’ him so long?”

With her back still to him, Maria reminds him, “Well, he did mention he was going to round up the council and get them together for an emergency meeting.” She lets out a sigh that matches his own—it’s been a long night for her, too. When the last drop of dark roast drips into the glass pot, she carefully takes the pot by the plastic handle and pours the steaming coffee into a speckled, white and blue ceramic mug. “Do you take it with milk and sugar?”

“No thanks, that’s alright,” he declines as politely as he can.

“I also have cinnamon if you’d like?”

“Plain black’s just fine.” He gives her a nod of gratitude when she hands it to him. “Thank you. And I don’t just mean the coffee, but for, uh—for bandagin’ up my hand for me, too.” He clocks the brief look of surprise on her face and almost laughs. He doesn’t blame her for being taken aback, because truth be told, so is he. Since he’d met Maria, he had known she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. There was something of a mutual understanding between them, a silent agreement they had made to keep each other at arm’s length, to only interact when it was absolutely necessary.

Never did he think he would be standing in her kitchen, thanking her for patching up his hand, and for making him a cup of coffee out of the kindness of her heart.

His brother wouldn’t believe it.

“Don’t mention it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back against the counter. “How’s it feel, by the way?”

“S’fine,” he replies, shrugging. “Nothin’ I can’t handle.”

There’s a momentary silence. A taste of tension lingers over their heads, and he knows at one point or another, he’s going to have to address the affair, the very reason everything had unfolded in such a terrible manner.

Guess now’s as good a time as fuckin’ any, he thinks to himself with an inward sigh.

Joel lightly clears his throat. “Listen, since we’ve got a minute alone, just the two of us, I was wonderin’ if, uh—if we could talk ‘bout somethin’? If that’s alright?”

“Of course.” Maria gives him the floor.

“I know that she—” Pausing, he shuffles from the heel of one boot to the other, his ears burning hot. He had known it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have, but he underestimated just how uncomfortable it would be, regardless of what she already knew. “I know she told you and Tommy all ‘bout us, and ‘bout our relationship. See, the thing is, the first time I saw her—”

Again, Joel stops, the burning sensation now radiating, spreading from his ears to his face and down his neck, flushing his skin a deep, deep shade of pink. Unable to meet his sister in law’s gaze, he glances down into his mug, as if he will somehow find the right words to say somewhere in the depths of his coffee.

“It was never my intention, y’know,” he finally says after a minute. “Goin’ after a married woman. I swear, I never meant to fall for her. I just fuckin’ did. I think I might’ve fallen for her long before I even met her,” he confesses. He feels himself darken to a shade of maroon under her curious stare. “And somehow, for reasons I ain’t all too sure I’ll ever understand, she fell for me too.”

Maria raises an eyebrow at him. “Look, I’m not judging you, Joel,” she assures him, shaking her head. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not judging her, either.”

He looks up at her, blurting out, “You’re not?”

She moves her hands to cradle her swollen middle. “Do I wish you two had handled everything differently?” she answers her own query with a nod of her head. “Oh, I’m sure we all do. But I’ve known her for a long time now. I know the kind of woman she is. And I’m starting to see the kind of man you are.”

“And what kinda man is that, Maria?”

He waits without the slightest clue as to what she could possibly say.

“Since you came back to Jackson, I’ve chosen to keep my distance from you—but make no mistake, I’ve been watching you like a hawk since day one. Waiting for any signs of trouble. Waiting for you to fuck up. Waiting for you to give me a good reason to throw your ass out of this community because I didn’t trust you. Not after all the things I was told about you.”

He snorts. “You goin’ somewhere with this?”

“You are not who I thought you were,” Maria admits, smiling wryly. “I’ve gotten to see a different side of you. You pull your weight around here by doing your job and doing it well. You stay out of trouble—for the most part. And more importantly, I have seen the way that you’ve stepped up to be a father figure to Ellie. It takes a good man to do that, Joel.”

“Think that’s the nicest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever said to me,” he muses, setting his mug down on the counter. “I stepped up because I love her. I love them both. Those two, they’re the best parts of me. They’re the reasons I keep goin’ and now I’ve got another reason on the way.”

Maria smiles, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.

Catching her hesitance, Joel asks, “What? What is it?”

“What comes next is not going to be easy,” she warns him, lowering her voice. Even with the living room a fair distance from the kitchen, she doesn’t want to run the risk of you overhearing her. “For as hard as we’re going to try to contain the fire, it will spread, and everyone in this town will find out about everything—including the affair. People are going to talk, and believe me, they’re going to have a whole lot to say about it, Joel.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at her.

“Think I can handle some fuckin’ gossip, Maria.”

“I know you can. But I’m not sure if she can,” Maria tells him, quietly. “It worries me. She’s been through a lot in just one night alone. I don’t want her stressing anymore than she already has. She is in a very delicate stage of her pregnancy right now, Joel. If she’s not careful, she could have a miscarriage. She had one about two years ago when her father became sick—” Observing his lack of a reaction, she realizes, “You knew that already.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. He knows where she’s going with this. “I did. She told me ‘bout it.”

“It makes her chances of having another one higher—”

Joel doesn’t even allow himself to think of it happening to you again. “I get it,” he interjects, trying not to sound too curt. “I’ll make sure she takes it real easy, alright?”

Lifting a hand off her belly, she reaches out and takes a hold of his forearm, gripping it tightly.

“Promise me something, Joel. Promise me that you’ll look after her,” Maria pleads him, gently. “Please. After everything she’s been through—I need you to promise me that she’s going to be in good hands with you.”

He nods. Without thinking, he places his hand over hers in an unexpected token of affection and reassurance. “You have my word, Maria. I’ll take good care of her.”

She gives his arm a grateful squeeze, then glances over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting pretty late. We don’t know how much longer Tommy’s going to be with the council. Why don’t we just go ahead and call it a night?” she suggests. “We can all get together first thing in the morning at your place to talk about it.”

“Yeah, good idea,” he agrees. “She really needs to rest.”

Maria gives his arm another squeeze.

“Go on then, Joel. Take your girls home.”

“Finally!” Ellie exclaims with a dramatic flail of her arms as she shoves through the front door.

“Alright, kiddo. Get your behind upstairs and into the shower,” Joel instructs her, flipping on the lights in the foyer. “Y’smell like fuckin’ horse shit.”

She lifts the collar of her shirt to her nose, takes a whiff, and makes a face. “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there,” she mutters. She toes off her dirty sneakers and leaves them beside the door before dashing up the staircase, taking two steps at a time.

He shouts after her, “And don’t use up all the hot—”

“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know the rules, dude!”

Moments later, you both hear the shower going.

“Little shit,” he grumbles.

You exhale an amused huff through your nose.

Joel withdraws his arm from around your shoulders and reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “C’mon, darlin’.” He guides you up the stairs and down the hallway into his bedroom where he switches on the light before proceeding to lead you over to his dresser. “I’ve got a bunch of shirts in this top drawer here,” he says. Dropping your hand, he pulls it open for you and gestures to it with a jut of his chin as he takes a step backwards, moving out of the way. “Go ahead and pick one to sleep in tonight. Want you to be comfortable, so help yourself to whichever one you want, sweet girl.”

Nodding, you begin to rummage through the drawer, unaware of the moment he slips away. You reach for a t-shirt, but then a plaid green flannel catches your eye. You pluck it from the drawer, running your fingers over the soft, warm fabric. “Is it alright if I wear—?” You turn around, stopping mid sentence when you realize he’s no longer standing behind you. Puzzled, you follow the sound of running water into the bathroom where you find him kneeling beside the tub. “Joel? What are you doing?”

“Runnin’ you a bath.”

You notice the bloodied bandage beside him on the tile floor. “Joel, are you serious?” you scold him. “Maria just patched your hand up for you.”

“S’okay, peach. I can rewrap it when we’re done.” Joel sticks his injured hand under the faucet to check the temperature, the cold water soothing his cuts. Once it turns warm, then hot, he pulls out his hand, waiting for the tub to fill halfway before shutting the faucet off and rising to his feet. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms, then beckons for you with both of his hands. “Let’s get you washed up.”

You remain standing by the door. “Joel, you don’t have to do this for me.”

“I know.”

“I’m capable of washing myself—”

“Yeah, I know that too,” he says, chuckling. “S’only fair, darlin’. Don’t you think?”

That’s when it hits you—how this moment is mirroring that night you had cleaned Joel up after you and Ellie had brought him home from the clinic with an injured shoulder. He allowed you to take care of him, and now, he was looking to do the same for you. And all you had to do was let him.

“But your hand—”

“Will be just fine,” Joel persists, stubbornly. “It’s nothin’ but a few cuts and scrapes. C’mon—or else I’m gonna march right over there and get you myself, peach.”

Knowing Joel, you certainly wouldn’t put it past him to throw you over his should and carry you to the bathtub.

“Fine,” you relent with a small sigh of defeat.

Setting his shirt down on the sink, you slowly walk over towards him and whirl around, letting him help you out of your knitted cardigan. You finish undressing yourself, inhaling a deep breath as you muster up the courage to turn back around and face him—when you finally do, it feels like a punch to the gut to see the heartbreak in his dark brown eyes, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip. You don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror to know it looks about a hundred times worse when you’re not wearing clothes.

Keeping your arms down at your sides, you fight every urge to cover yourself up. You’ve never felt so fucking vulnerable.

Clearing his throat, Joel holds out his hand. “C’mere.”

You accept it, and he helps you into the tub.

“How’s the water? S’not too hot, is it?”

You shake your head and he leans forward, kissing your temple so sweetly, your eyes flutter closed.

He washes your hair first, then takes a clean washcloth, lathering it up with a bar of milk and honey soap—the same soap he would smell on your skin all those nights. Admittedly, Joel preferred castile soap, but switched it when he found himself missing you during those weeks you were apart from him, when he needed the comfort of your scent. He is gentle with you, so gentle, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter into pieces in his hands.

As he lightly drags the washcloth up your back and around your neck, you stiffen, prompting him to freeze too. “Fuck. Baby, did I hurt you?” he asks, and you hear the slight panic in his tone.

“No,” you say quickly, desperately trying to swallow the lump rising in your throat. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It’s just—” Every overwhelming emotion slams into you all at once, and you can’t seem to figure out which one to feel first. Humiliation? Fear? Relief?

The water sloshes around you as you pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around your knees, giving yourself permission to feel them all. Bowing your head, you begin to sob quietly, hoping that Ellie, who is just down the hallway, won’t hear you crying again.

Joel says nothing. Washcloth still clutched in his hand, he leans forward over the edge of the tub and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, or at least, as close as the barrier between the two of you will allow him.

“Joel,” you choke, trying to push him off. “Stop it. Your clothes, they’re getting all wet.”

“Hush. Don’t fuckin’ care ‘bout my clothes,” he croaks, and for a second, you swear he’s about to cry too. But he doesn’t. He holds himself strong. Tugging you closer against his chest, he buries his nose into your soaking wet hair, whispering his reassurance. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe, my sweet girl. I’ve got you, alright?”

He pulls back slightly, dipping his hand into the water, placing it on your lower belly.

You look down, your eyes glazing over his bruised and battered knuckles. Proof that Joel Miller really would do anything for you.

“I know you do,” you say, softly. “I know you’ve got me, Joel.”

A while later, you’re dried, dressed, and composed. You follow Joel out of the bathroom and back into his room, where he has you take a seat on the bed. Noticing you had missed a button on his flannel shirt, he does it for you. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and says, “Give me a minute while I change.”

He peels off his wet clothes, being careful so as not to further agitate his sore, injured hand. After changing into a pair of gray sweatpants and an old, faded black t-shirt, he turns around only to find you’re sitting in bed underneath the covers.

“Sorry,” you apologize with a nervous chuckle as you rest your back against the headboard. “It just looked so warm and cozy—and it smells like you. I couldn’t resist making myself comfortable.”

Joel pads over to the side of the bed. He leans over, planting one hand on either side of you as he dips his head and brushes his lips against yours. “Ain’t got no reason to apologize, baby,” he assures you in a gentle murmur. “This is your bed now too, peach. This is your room. This is your home. Alright?”

Home.

You’re home.

He touches the tip of his nose to yours, and then draws himself back up to full height. “There’s somethin’ that I’ve gotta take care of downstairs, peach. I won’t be too long,” he promises.

It’s almost midnight. Joel goes about the kitchen and he prepares you the quickest meal that he can think of. He plates the sandwich he’d thrown together and pours a glass of cow’s milk—he’s always sure to keep a pint of it in the refrigerator to make the kid her oatmeal in the mornings.

He heads back upstairs, only to find that while he had been gone, Ellie had joined you, making herself a little too comfortable on his side of the bed. He stands there at the door, watching the two of you.

“Hey, so is it true babies can hear stuff while they’re in there?” Ellie questions you, curiously.

“Mhm,” you reply with a nod. “They can hear music, for example. Voices—”

“Voices?” She smushes her face into your stomach and he hears a muffled, “Hey, dude!”

You giggle. “Ellie, I think it’s still a little too early.”

“When do you think it’ll be able to hear me?”

“I’m not too sure. In a few months, maybe?”

Ellie lifts her head, humming. “You know, I bet there’s baby books in the library,” she tells you as she sits up. “I’ll have Dina help me look for one tommor—oh shit.” She stares at you with wide eyes. “Dina! How are you going to tell her and Talia about Luke?”

Joel grimaces. He hadn’t thought of that, either.

“I—I’m not too sure.”

“You have to fucking tell them. Dina has to know about him. She has to know what a piece of shit he is, and so does Talia.”

Sensing your discomfort, Joel steps into the bedroom and intervenes before she can say another word. “Ellie, get to bed. S’late.”

“But—”

“Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns her, sternly.

She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She climbs off the bed and on her way out, she eyes the plate in his hand. “That chicken?”

“Turkey. And it ain’t for you, it’s for her. So scram, kid.”

“Couldn’t have made me one while you were at it, old man?”

“Ellie, if you don’t get outta here right now—”

“Alright!” Ellie holds her hands up. “I’m leaving. Jesus.”

She disappears, closing the door behind her.

“Pain in my ass,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head as he walks over and carefully perches himself beside you. He hands you the plate. “Here, darlin’.”

“Joel, I appreciate this, but I’m really not very hungry.”

“Maybe not, but y’gotta eat,” he insists. “Baby needs it.”

Thankfully, you accept it without further protest.

“I’ll have Ellie get your things tomorrow,” Joel states as you’re eating. “Maria can go along with her since she knows the house. They’ll get your clothes and whatever else you might need outta there.”

“My father’s belongings.” You accidentally talk through a mouthful of turkey and bread. Swallowing, you tell him, “I have some boxes of his stuff in the basement. But they’re way too heavy for either of them to carry.”

“I’ll take care of that for you.” He reaches up, wiping a breadcrumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “I can ask Tommy to give me a hand. Don’t you worry, peach. We won’t leave your dad’s things behind, I swear it.”

Relieved, you shoot him a grateful look, then polish off the last few bites of your sandwich.

“Here,” he says, offering you the glass of milk. “Figured it’s good for you, and good for the baby. Y’know, since it’s got calcium and…stuff.” He shrugs sheepishly, no clue as to what he’s talking about. “Vitamins, right?”

Nodding, you grab the glass and take a reluctant sip.

“You hate milk,” Joel realizes, raising an eyebrow.

“I do,” you admit with a laugh. “But you’re right. It’s good for both me and the baby, so cheers.” And with that, you somehow force the entire glass down.

He sets the dishes aside on the nightstand, figuring he can take them downstairs first thing in the morning.

Without bothering to rebandage his hand like he’d told you he would, Joel turns off the lights and climbs into bed with you. “All those nights wishin’ I could bring you home,” he muses as you curl into his side. “Wantin’ nothin’ more than to hold you in my arms in this bed. In our bed.” His arm slips around your shoulders, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Almost doesn’t feel real, darlin’.”

Tilting your head, you nuzzle your nose into the scruff of his beard, prompting him to laugh again. Then, he remembers his conversation with Maria, and his smile fades from his face, his lips pursing together.

You catch the sudden shift in his demeanor.

“Joel? What’s the matter?”

“M’fine, baby. It’s just—” He hesitates. “From this point forward, I need you to let me handle things.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you gettin’ all stressed out, alright? I don’t want to run the risk of you—” He’s unsure of how to say it.

“Of me losing the baby,” you finish for him, quietly.

Joel winces, knowing he was wandering into sensitive territory. “Yeah. I—I really don’t want that to happen.” He pauses. “Maria mentioned to me you’re in a delicate stage. When do you reckon you’ll stop—how long until you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it?”

“After twelve weeks, my risk isn’t as high. If I make it to the second trimester in six weeks, then my chances of having another miscarriage are lower.”

Though you speak calmly, he clocks your anxiousness.

You’re worried, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking worried out of his mind too.

Being a father at his age wasn’t ideal, but he wanted this child. It was part of him, and more importantly, it was a part of you.

Joel squeezes your shoulders. “I only ask ‘cause I was thinkin’ that, y’know, once we get to that point, maybe I can go ahead and start buildin’ the baby’s crib.”

“You’re going to build the crib?”

He nods. “And the highchair too. I can even make you a diaper changin’ table if y’want one.”

“Joel.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Our worlds were just turned completely upside down. You just found out that I’m pregnant, and you’re already thinking about building furniture? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?”

“Hey, those things take a whole ‘lotta time,” he says in defense of himself. “Besides, winter’s right around the corner and I don’t wanna be out in the garage freezin’ my fuckin’ ass off. If I can get a head start now, I can have them all done in the spring by the time the baby comes.”

You fall silent.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m really scared of losing it,” you confess. “When I first took that pregnancy test, I wanted nothing more for it to be negative. Now, I’m terrified I won’t make it past my first trimester again. I really don’t want to lose it. I want this baby, Joel.”

He turns his head, meeting your eyes in the silver light shining through the lace curtains over his window. “S’why you’ve gotta let me handle things, darlin’. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“C’mere, my sweet girl.” Joel presses his lips to yours, murmuring against them, “I love you.”

His declaration comes with natural ease.

And so does yours.

“I love you too, Joel.”

#fic: a safe haven #fic: ash #tw dv #tw domestic violence #tw pregnancy #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #the last of us fanfiction

769 notes · View notes

jobean12-blog · 5 months ago

Text

The Last Time We Say Goodbye

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word Count: 1,604

Summary: It's only recently that you and Joel have been more that just friends so when he has to go out on a search with Tommy it leaves you with nothing but time to think...

Author's Note: I missed him and wanted something desperate but soft! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you sweet Daisy!

Warnings: some light angst at Joel being away, tension, soft sweetness, soft smut, oral (f rec), p in v, a curse or two

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

The time away had only made things more complicated.

You felt frustrated. You were spending far too much time thinking of him. Missing him. Worrying about him.

Your time together was always on your mind, and you had dreams of him almost nightly, none of them satisfying enough.

There was no way he could ever give you a precise time for his return. You couldn’t even be sure that he would return. But somehow, on that cool summer evening, while you’re sitting on the porch, mindlessly swaying back and forth on the rocking chair he built, you hear a commotion by the gates and you know the group is back.

You can only hope he’s with them.

Standing, you take a deep breath and try to calm the butterflies in your stomach. The sound of pounding hooves has your fingers twisting and you stand on your tippy toes to get a better look at the riders.

You don’t see him and you’re breathing quickens. Starting to pace back and forth you will your mind to stop racing and your heartbeat to calm. Without thinking, you stop mid step and turn toward the oncoming group, searching through the familiar faces for the one you want.

Your breath catches in your throat when a head of familiar, gray-streaked brown hair appears. There he is, looking better than you’d ever seen him. How…after two weeks on the road does someone come back looing better?

His hair is a tousled mess of curls as usual, no doubt from his large hands running through it regularly. His long legs hang over either side of the horse, muscles flexed and straining against his tight jeans. In the warmer weather, his shirt is unbuttoned at the neck and his sleeves rolled up over his forearms.

He looks tired and his beard is more unkempt than usual, but that’s not what has your body thrumming. His eyes have been searching the area, but the moment they meet yours, his lips lift into a smile and before you can stop it, you feel your own grow, wide and relieved.

With ease, he slides from the horse and takes a few long strides to meet you out in the middle of the road. His features grow tense while you both wait for the other to speak.

“Hi,” you say quietly, trying to ease some of the apprehension between you.

“Hiya darlin’,” he answers.

“Are you ok?” you ask, letting your eyes roam down his body in search of injuries.

He pauses for a moment before answering.

“I am now.”

There are people bustling around you, loved ones searching for each other and cries of greeting ringing out, but the only thing you can focus on is the growing tension and every inch of space that separates you.

Someone rushes by and bumps into you, pushing you toward him. His hand instinctively lands on your waist to steady you and you look up to find him staring.

Your skin heats at the familiar look of hunger in his eyes. You mutter “thank you,” and look away.

“You must be thirsty? Hungry?”

He nods and makes a gesture toward his horse. You watch as he walks over and starts to lift his belongings from the saddle, distracted as the muscles of his back tighten his shirt.

Tommy yells something and he answers, breaking you out of your daze.

“How ‘bout that drink?” he asks when he’s standing close once again.

You move around your small kitchen in silence, trying to busy yourself with making him a small meal. All you want to do is reach over and touch him, to tell him that you need him to touch you.

All your thoughts make it impossible for you to concentrate on the task, your time apart having done nothing to lessen his hold over you. If anything, it’s stronger.

With a sigh you reach for a plate, too distracted to react as it slips free from your hand and crashes to the ground.

He rushes up behind you, taking your hand in his and checking it for any cuts. His calloused fingertips search your skin, and you feel every sensation. His scent fills the space you occupy, and he surrounds you completely.

“Are you okay, darlin’?”

You turn to face him, your lips parting at the intensity in his gaze.

“It’s just been a long day,” you say, searching for any excuse.

“Hmm,” he muses, continuing to study you.

His gaze flickers to your mouth and you need him to kiss you. As if drawn in, you lean closer as he leans in to meet you.

Suddenly, a knock sounds at the door and Tommy comes in, his smile fading when he realizes his obvious interruption.

“Sorry big brother,” he mutters. “But you forgot this.”

He holds out Joel’s knife before looking at you with an apologetic smile. Joel takes it and then carefully slides it into the back pocket of his jeans.

Tommy disappears out the door as quickly as he had come in.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly and when you look back at Joel you have no time to react as he grips your face between his hands and pulls you into his chest.

When your lips meet, you make a strangled sound of surrender, immediately combing your fingers through his hair.

He holds you steady, pulling away to press a kiss to one corner of your mouth, then the other before he lingers in the middle.

You press your curves into him and he bumps into the counter, then the kitchen table as you shift and finally meet the wall as he pins you against something solid.

You can smell, taste and feel him but none of it is enough.

He grabs your ass, your thighs, slides his hands along your waist and up over your breasts, seeming to need to touch every part of you simultaneously. Your hands roam his body frantically, yanking on his shirt until the buttons pop off and it falls from his shoulder to the floor.

His fingers trace the hem of your dress, and you moan, bringing your hand to rest on his, guiding his movements.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmurs in a voice rough with need. “Tell me the things you want me to do to you.”

“Everything,” you whisper against his mouth.

He groans your name and slips his hands under your dress.

“I need to see all of you,” he says, teasing your mouth.

In one swift movement he has the dress up and over your head and stops dead at the sight of what’s been hiding beneath.

He takes a step back, leaving you pressed against the wall.

Your matching satin and lace set has him licking his lips and he pushes a restraining hand through his hair.

“Fuck, you’re stunning,” he says, moving closer again and running his fingertips along the swell of your breasts.

A visible shiver runs across your skin and his hand travels upward, tracing the outline of your collarbone, along your neck and finally to your jaw.

He drags your mouth to his and you fumble clumsily with his pants. His hands wander down the curve of your spine, back up again along your sides to your breasts, and feel every inch of your skin.

The kiss never breaks as you stumble back toward the couch and pull at his remaining clothes.

He stops just when your calves hit the cushions, slowly tracing your ribs with his knuckles before sliding to the clasp of your bra to release it.

Pulling you closer, he groans into your mouth as your soft breasts graze his chest and your fingers slide lower, circling his cock and lightly squeezing.

He spins and sits down, resting his hands on your waist and holding you still in front of him. Reaching down he slips his thumbs under the fabric at your hips and delicately drags it down your legs.

With soft kisses to your stomach, he moves downward, continuing to taste until you coat his tongue and erase everything else.

“I’m fuckin’ losin’ my mind darlin’,” he whispers against your ear as he drags you into his lap. “I need to be inside you.”

Your hips rock over him, his cock sliding against your wetness as your sighs and moans fill the room.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” you whimper. “Please Joel. I can’t wait any longer.”

He brings his eyes to yours, his lips hovering just an inch away as he holds your gaze and guides himself deep inside you.

“Oh my god,” you moan.

“Say it again,” he demands, breathless.

“Please Joel.”

He starts to thrust into you more steadily and you brace your hands on his shoulders, easily meeting each movement.

“I can’t get enough of this,” he whispers against your lips. “I want you like this every day.”

His name leaves your lips like a prayer and his grip tightens.

“Come on darlin’. Let me see you come all over me. It’s all I’ve thought about.”

Your thighs tighten around his waist, and you squeeze his cock, your breath hitching before you muffle your cries against his neck. He follows right behind, hips stuttering and breathing ragged.

He slumps back against the couch and cradles you to his chest, his arms secured around you.

He moves his face close to yours, noses brushing and lips delicate.

“Stay with me,” you whisper.

His lips trace your jaw and stop just below your ear. He places a soft kiss to the spot before whispering, “I’m not goin' anywhere.”

@lizette50 @hiddles-rose @blackwidownat2814 @kmc1989

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #tlou #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut

426 notes · View notes

mads-weasley · 2 years ago

Text

Everything

Joel Miller x Wife!Reader

Masterlist

A/N: I absolutely LOVE the Last of Us and had to write something for Joel! I do not own any of the rights to these characters except (y/n). Enjoy!

Summary: After a rough day, (y/n) shares a soft moment with her husband.

Warnings: mentions of road rage attack? total fluff central

September 25th, 2003: 24 Hours Before Outbreak

The bright Texan sun was shining down on (Y/n) Miller as she was on her way to the grocery store with Sarah in the passenger seat. With the windows down, they blasted their favorite new hit song, Red Dirt Road by Brooks & Dunn.

"Oh, I've come to know, there's life at both ends," the (y/h/c) woman sang, pretending to hold a mic to her lips.

Sarah stuck her hand out the window, her curls flying in the wind as she finished the lyric. "Of that red dirt road."

The pair were pulled from their jam session when the car in front of them slammed on brakes, causing (y/n) to do so as well, shooting an arm out in front of Sarah.

"You okay?" She asked breathlessly, holding back a curse at the driver. "And that's why you're not gonna tailgate people when you start driving, right?"

The teen rolled her eyes with a smile and put her hand over her heart. "Scout's honor."

Playfully scoffing, (y/n) looked around the car, only to see nothing in the way. Beeping the horn quickly, she groaned. "Seriously. What's the hold up here?"

Her question was answered when the driver quickly got out of the car and angrily stalked toward the pair. (Y/n) checked around her, looking for a way to get away quickly.

"Sarah," she whispered. "Roll up your window, now."

When the man was halfway to their car when he stopped and turned around. Her heart began to beat again.

She looked at Sarah with a shaky smile. "Okay, maybe he's over it."

The young girl's eyes widened as she frantically pointed in front of them. "(Y/n)!"

Snapping her eyes forward, she cursed at the sight of the man with a baseball bat.

"Hold on," (y/n) yelled, jerking into oncoming traffic to get away. Once they passed the man, she got back in their lane, hearts pounding. Had just a simple beep set the man off?

"What just happened?" Sarah asked, still gripping the handle above her car door.

Shaking away her fear, (y/n) reached over and took her hand gently

"I don't know, but we're okay. How about we just go home. I all of a sudden don't feel like going to the store."

A silent nod was all the response she needed to head back home. After the girls' scary ordeal, she just wanted to be in the safe presence of her husband.

At the familiar rumble of a truck engine, (y/n)'s heart jumped. She and Sarah were on the couch watching 10 Things I Hate About You when Joel opened the door.

"Girls?" He called, taking off his filthy work boots.

Sarah perked up, and yelled back, "In the living room!"

A few seconds later, he walked into the room with a tired smile, plopping down in the small space between them.

"And how are my girls doing today?" he asked, pulling them closer to him.

Sarah's eyes widened. "(Y/n) and I were on th-"

Not wanting to worry Joel, (y/n) shook her head quickly from behind him. The girl's brows furrowed slightly but caught on.

"-the way home and guess what song came on?" She asked.

"Hmm," he hummed, scrunching his face overdramatically. "Was it Red Dirt Road?"

"How did you know that!?" (Y/n) laughed, slapping his arm playfully.

"I don't know. Probably because it was the one you were humming when I first got over here, honey."

The trio broke into a fit of giggles that ended when Joel got up.

"Don't move. I'll be back in a minute."

As soon as Joel was out of the room, Sarah turned to (y/n). "Why can't we tell dad about earlier?"

"You know how worked up he gets, Sar," she sighed. "I just don't want to worry him."

"Okay. I won't tell him, but I think you should."

"I'll tell him la-"

She was cut off by Joel's voice calling from the hallway. "Who's ready for some supper?"

After they ate supper, Sarah went off to finish homework while (y/n) cleaned up. As she was reaching for dishes to put the leftovers in, a pair of hands snaked around her waist, pulling her back into a warm embrace.

"I missed you today," Joel murmured, his face buried in her neck.

"I missed you too, babe..."

A few seconds passed and she knew she needed to tell him what happened. Turning around in his arms, (y/n) placed her hands on his chest.

"So, something happened today. I don't want you to stress out or worry, bu-"

"Well, now I'm definitely gonna," he interrupted.

"Sar' and I were on the way to the grocery store when the guy in front of us stopped out of nowhere. I couldn't go around him because there was traffic, so I hit the horn. And then he got out of the car."

(Y/n) could feel his body tense up, and she was reminded why she wanted to spare him the details of the encounter.

"We thought he was going to get back into his car, but he pulled out a baseball bat, Joel. I didn't even think, I just got us out of there as soon as I could. Sarah was my number one priority and," she faltered, her throat closing up. "-and I was so scared."

He pulled her into his chest fully, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, (y/n/n). You should have called me."

Joel was shaking with anger, but contained it, knowing it would only make his wife more upset. "I know. I just didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me? Sweetheart, I am your husband, and you can tell me anything, no matter what."

(Y/n) sighed, pulling back with tears in her eyes. "I love you so much."

A single tear trickled down her face, and Joel wiped it away with his thumb as he cupped her cheek softly. "I love you, too. You and Sarah are everything to me."

Feeling his rough hands caress her face so gently, she placed hers over them. "Sarah's getting too big. I can't believe it's been almost two years since we tied the knot."

"Don't remind me," he whispered, rolling his eyes. "The sass gets worse every day."

His expression suddenly became serious. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. Heck, I've never been this happy. You complete our family, (y/n)."

"I've never been this happy either."

She leaned in and rested her forehead against his before connecting their lips. Joel's hands on her waist pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. At the sound of feet padding down the hallway, he pulled away with a groan.

"Don't stop on account of me," Sarah chimed with a smirk, grabbing a yogurt from the fridge." She started to turn back towards her room but stopped and pulled the couple into a tight hug.

"I am happier, dad. I love you both."

The man laughed, patting his daughter's hair affectionately. "We love you, too. Now, how long have you been listening, baby girl?"

Sarah held up her pointer finger, smiling sheepishly. "I'm gonna have to plead the fifth."

Pulling away, she glanced at the clock on the stove as she walked away. "You enjoy your last few hours as a 35-year-old, you old geezer."

Joel glanced at his wife with an amused smile. "Can you believe her?"

"I mean you are pretty old, Mr. Miller," (y/n) teased, shrugging her shoulders.

Before she could move, he threw her over his shoulder, running toward their room.

"Old, huh?"

The woman squealed, smacking playfully against his back. "Joel! Put me down!"

"No can do, Mrs. Miller."

1K notes · View notes

sageluvsjoel · 2 months ago

Text

A Birthday to Remember

(Part Three to "A Different Kind of Miracle")

jackson!joel miller x reader x autistic! daughter

Requested HERE

masterlist

summary: You and Joel celebrate your daughter’s birthday in Jackson and have to navigate it together.

wc: 1.3k

likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

i do not authorize plagiarism or copying of my work!

It was the first birthday she could really understand. Your daughter was now three, and this birthday felt like a turning point. She was growing fast, becoming more aware of the world around her—and her place in it. So you and Joel had decided to throw her a small party, just a gathering of close friends and neighbors in Jackson. Nothing too big. Nothing too overwhelming. At least, that was the plan.

The sun hung low over the town, casting a golden light across the square as people trickled into your yard. It was a perfect day for a birthday—warm but not too hot, the breeze carrying the faint scent of the flowers that lined the fences. You’d set up a long table with snacks and decorations, a simple cake in the center with her name written in soft, delicate icing.

Joel stood off to the side, watching as you helped her with some colorful balloons, her small hands grasping at the strings with delight. You caught his eye and smiled, your heart swelling with warmth. It wasn’t just the party or the weather—it was seeing her so happy, so alive. Joel had been more anxious than usual today, though he’d been trying not to show it. Birthdays, especially after everything that had happened in his life, were both a blessing and a source of quiet fear. He was grateful for every day she grew older, but the thought of her growing up in a world like this gnawed at him.

As more people arrived, the little yard began to fill with soft chatter and laughter. Tommy showed up first, bringing along Maria, who had a gift in hand wrapped in bright, mismatched paper. Ellie was close behind, holding a small stuffed animal she’d been saving for this occasion. She gave a mock sigh as she handed it over to your daughter, who beamed up at her with wide eyes. “Happy birthday, kiddo. You better like that, took me forever to find it.”

Joel chuckled at that, ruffling Ellie’s hair. “She’ll love it, don’t you worry.”

Ellie grinned, but her eyes shifted to Joel’s daughter, watching her with a mix of amusement and affection. The bond between them had been slow to grow, but it was solid now, the way big sisters and little sisters naturally were. Even though Ellie was rough around the edges, there was a softness she reserved just for her.

The party started off small, just as you’d hoped—your daughter flitting around the yard, alternating between her new toys and the few kids who came by with their parents. She stayed close to you and Joel, her face lighting up every time someone handed her a gift or said, “Happy Birthday.” You could see she was happy, in her own quiet way. But the closer it got to the cake, the more she started to cling to you, her small fingers wrapping around your arm.

“She alright?” Joel asked softly, watching as she tugged at your shirt, wanting to be held.

“She’s fine, I think,” you said, though you could feel the tension creeping in. Her behavior was subtle, but you knew the signs—she was starting to get overwhelmed.

Ellie nudged Joel’s side. “It’s cake time, right? We gonna sing or what?”

Joel’s face twitched, torn between the moment and the anxiety that had been brewing in his chest all day. He glanced at you, and you gave him a nod, signaling that everything was okay, for now.

“Alright, let’s do it,” he said, forcing a smile.

The cake was placed in front of her on the table, the small crowd gathering around to sing. You watched her carefully, her wide eyes scanning the room, her fingers tapping on the edge of the table in that way she always did when she was anxious. The moment the first note of “Happy Birthday” was sung, you felt her body stiffen next to you.

“Happy birthday to you…”

The noise, the attention, the sudden burst of voices all around her—it was too much. Her eyes darted around the group, her breathing quickening, and before the song was halfway through, she let out a small, high-pitched whine, her hands flying up to cover her ears.

“Happy birthday, dear—”

Suddenly, she let out a loud sob, and the song came to an awkward, stumbling halt.

Your heart clenched as she buried her face in your chest, her small body trembling, the meltdown hitting hard and fast. Joel’s eyes went wide with panic, his hands hovering helplessly for a second before he rushed over.

“Hey, hey, baby girl,” Joel said softly, kneeling down beside you. “It’s okay, it’s okay. We’re right here.”

The crowd backed away, giving her space, but their concerned murmurs filled the air, making the atmosphere feel heavy and stifling. You held her tightly, whispering soothing words as you rocked her gently.

“I’ve got you,” you murmured. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s just too much, I know. I know.”

Joel shot a glance at Ellie, who was standing nearby, her face a mix of worry and confusion. “Ellie, can you—”

“On it,” Ellie muttered, already stepping in to quietly usher people away from the table, shooing them with her hands. “Alright, folks, party’s over here. Move along, nothing to see.”

Tommy and Maria helped her clear the area, and soon the space was quiet again, the voices fading into the distance as people moved to the other side of the yard, giving your family privacy.

Joel reached out, rubbing small circles on your daughter’s back as she continued to cry, her little fists clenched tightly in your shirt. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice tight with guilt. “I didn’t think—”

“It’s not your fault,” you said softly, shaking your head. “We both thought it’d be okay. Sometimes… it just happens.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes filled with that same helplessness you’d seen too many times before. “I hate seein’ her like this.”

“I know,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But we’ll get through it. We always do.”

It took time—long, slow minutes of calming her down, of rocking her back and forth, of speaking to her in soft tones. Her crying eventually slowed to sniffles, her body relaxing in your arms as she curled up against you, utterly drained. She wasn’t fully back yet—she was still lost in her own world, overwhelmed by everything—but the worst of the storm had passed.

Joel reached out, brushing a lock of hair away from her damp cheeks. “You’re okay, baby girl,” he whispered. “You’re safe.”

Ellie came back over, a small, sheepish grin on her face as she crouched down next to you. “Think I scared everyone off,” she said, her voice quieter than usual. “You guys okay?”

Joel nodded, though his expression was still tight, his shoulders tense. “Yeah… I think so.”

“She didn’t like the singing,” Ellie said with a small shrug. “Can’t say I blame her. That was a lot of voices.”

You let out a quiet laugh, even though your heart was still heavy with the aftermath of the meltdown. “Yeah, it was.”

Ellie glanced at your daughter, who was now resting her head against your chest, her eyes half-closed. “You want me to grab her some cake? No singing this time, promise.”

Joel let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Thanks, Ellie. But maybe later.”

Ellie gave a mock salute and wandered off, leaving the three of you in the quiet of the yard. You and Joel exchanged a look—one filled with all the unspoken words you didn’t need to say. This wasn’t easy. It never would be. But you had each other. And as much as the world had thrown at you, you’d learned how to weather the storms together.

“I think next year, maybe we keep it small,” you suggested, rubbing gentle circles on your daughter’s back.

Joel nodded slowly, his hand still resting on her shoulder. “Yeah… small sounds good.”

But for now, all that mattered was that she was here, safe in your arms. The rest of the world could wait.

to be added to my tag list click here and comment or comment below

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller fic #ellie williams #pedrohub #pedro pascal #tess servopoulos

57 notes · View notes

hellowoolf · 11 months ago

Text

on strawberries and masonry: chapter i

series summary: you atone for your sins, now, in a jackson garden, learning to care for soft things and yourself. joel miller is a lethal sort of similar, and misery loves company

you live in jackson and meet joel and you’re both damaged little babies and fall in love (but i’m drawing this shit out🫶🫶)

warnings: angst, ANGST👈🏻👈🏻, reader has a violent past but we don’t get graphic about it yet, knives (at present we only use her for gardening), age gap (reader late 20s/early 30s, joel 50s), mention of masturbation (if i left out any, let me know!)

word count: 3.1k

authors note: i would consider myself a mildly experienced writer but this is my first ever fic! kindness is appreciated but so is constructive criticism. i really hope you enjoy🍓

by the way, a big ol thank you to @macfrog @netherfeildren @5oh5 @swiftispunk @bageldaddy (and others), whose fantastic writing gave me the courage to put this story to paper🫶

series masterlist | masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you don’t remember much about the little fruits, from the time that came before. you were only a child then, 8 when it all crumbled to pieces, and those small sweetnesses aren’t things you’re taught to notice when you’re that young. lemons and airplane engines and the neighbor’s dog; these you remember, what with all the ruckus they made, but berries and peaches were far too soft of creations to make an impression. you suppose to anyone who could see your life in full, it would seem ironic in a tragic sort of way that they were all you cared for now.

you like to ponder these things—torture, really—on your way to the garden in the morning. there’s something about the honesty of jackson air, the clarity of it at daybreak, that make such musings, painful as they are, the only bearable passtime. keeping your hands close to your sides inside your jacket, you let your fingertips brush against the knife stored there. maria had offered you gardening tools, things more fit for the work you did now, but you’d refused; this knife was your father’s once (if you were remembering correctly) and you wouldn’t let it rust over on your nightstand. you like to make use of things, things and people if you’re honest, and trimming plants and flowers and little fruits are no less noble uses for it than what you did before jackson.

the crunch of your boots beneath you whispers up as you trudge along. your house isn’t far from the garden, but ages, it feels, from everything else. you’d gone to the tipsy bison, once, within the first few weeks of moving in, convinced you were young and entitled to normalcy after what they’d collected you from on the outside. the scotch burned your throat in a cliche kind of way, and you suppose you enjoyed that part, but the walk alone in the dark on your way home was enough to keep you from the establishment since. you moved back and forth from your garden, the dining hall, and occasionally tommy’s house when you couldn’t bear the loneliness; these pathways you’d carved out for yourself here are few and stubborn, but you love them because they’re yours. the other young men and women your age in town, most of whom have lived the better part of their lives within these walls, don’t think of you enough to find you as strange as you perhaps are, but their not thinking is a comfort to you. the crunch crunch crunch of your boots on the gravel mumbles in agreement.

“speak of the devil.”

tommy is leaning against the glass of the greenhouse wall with noah when he calls it out to you, grounding you in place. you’d made it all the way to the garden in the time it took for that ugly contemplation, but the both of them are smiling with that back and forth glance only boyishness forgives, and now the morning is real. it’s cold enough that numbness has clawed its way up the bridge of your nose, the frost keeping last night’s snow frozen to the ground. it’s these moments, the arrivals to your garden at dawn, when the day comes to you. you like the both of them, noah and tommy. they make you feel like somebody’s sister. you turn up the ends of your mouth. “all bad things i hope.”

“awful, really,” noah chuckles, tugging on the arm of your jacket to pull you inside with tommy behind you, the both of them still smiling in conspiracy.

you begin to slip your arms out of your coat, laying it carefully against a wall, the wet warmth of the greenhouse rushing you immediately. you’d been heating the inside for a few weeks now, trying to maintain a healthy summer crop output despite the freezing soil, and a few of the sturdier vegetables had steadily been peeking their way up. you plucked a full radish from the dirt last week and nearly wept over it. you look back up at tommy and noah, standing shoulder to shoulder now in the aisle between the planter boxes to block your path forward, humming still with whatever tommy-and-noah-elation they’ve concocted. you tilt your head a little and smile.

“are you gonna make me guess? or can you just tell me?”

they confer with a nod and a jostle side to side, tommy turning back to you. “there’s a strawberry.”

your tongue unsticks from the roof of your mouth as something golden and beautiful unfolds inside of you. “there isn’t,” you counter. noah turns himself sideways so you can walk through the aisle to the end of the left planter box and you rush there (you’re rarely frantic, nowadays, but you allow this sort of thing for your little fruits).

maria had placed you here in the garden as a safeguard. she thought you dangerous (and you were, at least back when you met her), so she put you to work where your hands could do good and be far from people. it helped, you guessed, that the greenhouse is made of glass; she could keep an eye on you this way. and oh, how you’d resisted it, the softness of a gardener’s job. in the end, though, the black and grime of life left as residue on your palms felt like forgiveness, and you’d taken quickly to thinking yourself a botanist.

by the time you arrive at the end of the left planter box, on your knees like a worshiper at a pew, you’re eye level with the little poetry of red and green parting the soil you’d scooped by hand last month. tommy and noah, you feel, are behind you as your shadow casts itself over the soil, and you almost have to pull the thing out just to bear this feeling. there’s a strawberry. and you actually say it out loud, softer than anything but wild, still, and staring at the child of plant and earth you’d nursed to color. noah and tommy drop to your sides, and you notice then that the three of you are crying, and you laugh and laugh over the little thing like madness and sweetness and pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the euphoria of your strawberry lasts you well into the late afternoon. tommy and noah had left you to bask in the glory of it to continue with construction on a little post office right off the main road, and you worked the morning with your thumbs in the dirt, slicing browning leaves off the budding plants with as much gentleness as you could muster. you look down at your knife, cradled close in the cup of your palm, to finger out the soil packed through the engraving along the handle. a last name meant nothing anymore, what with your loneliness and the end of the world, but still the slopes of it peer up at you; you watched your father make the engraving, you think, though the actual memory of it is lost to time.

by the time you reach the beets at the end of the right planter box, a commotion has stirred outside. men’s voices ring and rumble from the main road, and the bass of it hums under your knees on the ground. a great bark of tommy reaches you clearly, even tucked away as your greenhouse is, and curiosity consumes you enough to resign from your garden for the day. these days you are quiet, and reserved, sometimes frightening because you like how it feels, but still curious, always curious, and so you curl yourself back into your jacket to join whatever audience has congregated by the front gates.

he is beautiful in a holy sort of way, whoever he is. you come upon tommy wrapped up in a great big stranger, a horse and a young girl behind him, and the slopes of his nose bend the waning sunlight off into a ribbon of a beam. jesus, when was the last time you’d looked at someone this way? tommy pulls back from him, glassy eyed and awestruck, looking around at those who’d crowded the scene almost incredulously, but you stare still at his stranger, who is so broad and so timid and so clearly unused to his own timidness that you can’t pull your eyes away. he meets your gaze for a moment, as he sweeps his own across the crowd, and looks at you with about as much detachment as he does the rest of this spectatorship. but oh god, he is so divinely pretty, and so you can forgive his lack of immediate fascination with you.

tommy begins walking his stranger and his stranger’s small companion through the throng, introducing and shaking hands, and as you watch them slowly shuffle towards you, you are struck with the thought that this is tommy’s brother. as he shifts his face along the axis of his shoulders, taking in the town, you see more and more of tommy in the motion of his stranger’s face. you’re sure of it now, as tommy calls your name and shepherds the man in front of you.

“my brother here’as decided to make a grand entrance!” tommy says, slapping a mittened hand across his back. you shake his stranger’s hand and give him your name, hoping your little smile doesn’t give away how awful it felt for him to look this way.

“joel,” he musters (and it really does seem like it takes a mustering), and gives your hand a firm shake before stuffing them back in his pockets. he is disinterested, surely, but afraid, too. it almost hurts you how clear his prevailing apprehension is, and you nearly make to apologize for forcing him to introduce himself. his eyes squint in the golden light cast over jackson.

“i work in the greenhouse, a few blocks from here on the edge of the settlement,” you explain, eyes drifting between joel and his little shadow, who both joel and tommy have yet to introduce. she looks a little feral, and this endears you immediately to her. “welcome in,” you offer, and you do your best to direct this message to her from around joel’s shoulder. her eyes are so big for a thing so ferocious (and you are certain she is) and they widen further at your acknowledgment of her.

“we won’t be here for long,” joel grumbles out and you straighten back up. he says it like you’ve offended him, and you bristle a little. tommy’s beautiful stranger is very guarded, you decide. regardless, the width of him, from left to right, blocks the mountain range behind him, and the patchy scruff along his jaw makes you die a little death.

“alright, well,” you start to back away then, feeling increasingly overwhelmed by his face and his broadness and this little girl who looks and moves like you used to, “you know where to find me,” and you nod a little to tommy before turning and walking away. you lasted all but five seconds in front of him, relishing in how little you were in his shadow cast upon you and loving whatever creature the girl he brought with him was, but all the same he looked too tired and cautious and vicious that it suffocated you. he wouldn’t be here for long, apparently; you’ll likely never see him again. as you step towards your little house, you figure it was worth the meeting, if for nothing else than a face to keep you company in the dark when you’re a woman and alone, and a real image to pair with the descriptions tommy gave of a brother who loved him once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for a while, it seemed you really wouldn’t see joel again. you watched, through your greenhouse walls, the great expanse of him ride out with the girl, and you were left with the comfort of knowing how gorgeous you found him and that you would never have to speak with him again. you warded off your own psychoanalysis of your relief at his faraway-ness in the face of your immediate physical attraction to him, and sunk your fingers again in the soil.

but then he had returned. what with how consoled you felt at his leaving, he almost had to; fate was funny this way. but you figure, still, you needn’t disturb yourself with him. you imagined he’d keep to himself with how unspeaking he was when you first met him, and other than crossing his path every once in a while, leaving tommy’s house or marching himself along somewhere or other, you were right.

you think of him at night, though. in the morning you wake up with the shame and hilarity of it, of this lusting over a man you neither know nor want to know, but past midnight in your bed you let your fingers slip over yourself thinking of how small he’d made you feel. the wanting of him strikes you somewhere between your shoulder blades, and you blame it entirely on how long it had been since you shared your bed with anyone. strictly physical, strictly physical. you’d learned again to care for yourself these years in jackson, and you’d wrought kinship from tommy and noah without realizing it, but in all you attend mostly to flora, and in this you are protected. yes, joel keeps to himself as you surmised he would, but you avoid him, too; to want him in this way, all hands and hips and somewhere within you, is harmless, you determine, so long as he stays tommy’s stranger. he could never be anything or anyone to you.

it’s six weeks or so of joel’s continued disinterest in you, and your insistent avoidance of him (barring the way you touched yourself at night to his face), before a knock at your door past sunset brings you out of bed. people rarely appear at your doorstep, though you imagine it’s noah dropping off seeds found on patrol, or tommy with a similar sort of package, or even ellie, joel’s little creature, who’d spoken all but five words to you about your garden, but all the same materialized rather often there to see the colors of your little fruits. but when maria blinks back at you when you open the door, any semblance of a greeting dies in the back of your throat.

“can i come in?” maria asks, although she’s already leaning her shoulder towards the gap between your body and the doorway. you step aside to let her through. it occurs to you that maria has never visited you in your home before, not in your five years in jackson, and when she turns back to you, back pressed against your kitchen counter, it’s clear she’s just had the same thought. the way she crosses her arms over her chest, the authority of it and the terror, too, beckons you toward her from your place at the threshold.

“is everything okay?” you sigh out as you prop your hip against the adjacent table top. she is inspecting you, but smiles.

“yeah, yeah.” one of you sniffs. you shift your weight. “i came to see what you thought of joel.”

you almost laugh then, really laugh. “i don’t think anything of joel.”

she rolls this answer around behind her teeth. “mhm,” and then this time with finality, “mhm”.

you inspect her, now. “you don’t want him here.” it isn’t a question.

maria hums. “tommy wants him here.”

“that isn’t what i said.”

she purses her lips a moment. “yeah, i know.”

and you’re making the moment torturous for her, you’re certain, because you know why she’s come to you, why she’s standing in your kitchen like the elected leader she is, while something awful, something almost like alarm, leaks from the back of her neck onto your floorboards. you’d come to jackson a wild thing and she’d tamed you, and now you lived as a dirt woman who sunk her dagger into earth and green and life more permanent than humanity. she is proud of this, you think. and joel came as much of the same, with red hands that opened dripping, and maria needs him watched now the same way she watched you through your garden’s glass. you sigh again.

“what do you want me to do, maria? anything i’d say to tommy would be infinitely more effective from you.”

maria nods. “i don’t want you to say anything to tommy. i can live with joel in jackson. but he’s insisting on patrol, and i don’t know who else to put with him.”

your jaw seizes, and the heat of anger spreads itself along your neck and around your ears. you remember when you’d pleaded so kindly, crouching to make yourself smaller, hands collapsed together, begging to be useful, to be put outside, to protect jackson like it was yours. maria was as honest with you then as she is now, and she’d cited your instability (the reality of which is neither here nor there) to keep you off the rounds. you’d told tommy maria envisioned your actions before jackson as far more unforgivable than they were, though you knew that was a lie before you opened your mouth to say it. “patrol?”

she looks so solemnly at you you think you might die right there between your kitchen and the staircase. “yeah. i want you to be his patrol partner. i’m not looking to send him out there with a gun strapped to his back with one of the other gu-”

“and why does it have to be me?” and you’re really angry, now. for your unyielding quiet in this jackson existence you’d sewn together and the little strawberry you’d grown from nothing, still, still, you were at most and at least a violence. “why can’t you assign someone else?”

maria has this answer constructed already, it seems, for how fast she releases it, “because you’ll kill him.”

“noah would, if he had to. and leila. i can think of at least fi-”

“i’m not saying you would kill him. i’m saying you could.”

and suddenly you were again a wasp or spider, poisonous and unthinking, and the weight of the killing you did before jackson, which you had halfway successfully ignored to piece yourself into something good, perched its chin on the crown of your head. your father’s knife, laying up next to your bed after what was now years of tending to vegetables and stalks and leaves, howled with laughter, and it carried down the stairs to you like wind in summer, leadened and screaming and satisfied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hope you enjoyed this first part! like i said in my authors note, this is my first time writing a piece like this and certainly my first time posting it, so kindness is much appreciated, as is constructive criticism. part 2 coming (hopefully) soon🍓

update: chapter ii!!

#joel miller fic #joel miller #tlou #the last of us #fem!reader #teehee #jackson!joel #on strawberries and masonry

324 notes · View notes

adelliet · 2 years ago

Text

Joel Miller x F!reader

Relax for me

Summary: You work at Jackson as a helper not only for kids but for everyone, but no one is kind of there for you. Every men in here aren't just your type, unless someone appeared here and show you how to treat a woman right.

Warnings: 15+, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (piv), dominant, dirty talk a bit, nicknames, one mention of Y/N, beeast playing, soft Joel, apocalypse period

A/N: Hi! I am so sorry for mistakes, if there are any, but english isn't my first language. Enjoy, sending love!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You are washing dishes right now, trying to get off every dirt you could see by your sharp eyes. You already had a half of dishes done, half still waiting for you. It was boring, you have to admit it, but at least you have a window right infront of you, so you could see every act or move that someone do outside. It would be nice, but the town is very quiet, as usual, and nothing is really happening.

You sigh tiredly, as you look back at your hands, washing the already clean and nice white ceramic plate. You put it to the dripper right next to you, and as you reached for another plate to wash, you heard horses and people chattering loudly outside. Your attention was immediately drawn to these sounds and you peered out of the window curiously, pupils dilated and eyes as big as buttons.

Your washing motions suddenly slowed as you saw several men on horses, and behind them were two people you hadn't seen before in the city. They looked like travelers, as if they got lost here. On one horse was a little girl, around 15 years old you would say, while on the other was an older big man who immediately caught your eyes, but also your whole body. When you saw him, goosebumps ran up your spine and your legs and arms began to shake. You had to put the plates down and stop washing or you would have broken something because of how much you were shaking at the sight of the handsome man.

This time you stopped watching the other people and surroundings and just focused on the handsome old man who looked surprised when he focused on someone from the big group of people, that were standing curiously around them. He quickly dismounted from his horse, as Tommy approached him. You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, as you saw Tommy and the man hugging each other. It seemed like they were pretty good friends and hadn't seen each other for a long time. You figured that was exactly how it was and got a little mad at Tommy, when he didn't tell you about the man. But your rage only lasted for a moment, when you then saw how Tommy was leading the girl and your dream man straight to you, to your house, where you were just washing the dishes.

You started panicking a little, your shaking started raising and you couldn't evem hold something in your hands, because if you do, you would let it fall immediately. You have no idea what to do, the only thing that was on your mind right now was looking a little good infront of the unknown man. That's why you look at the window, so you could see yourself in it a little, and started to style your hair. But there wasn't really much you could do about it, because after a while you heard the wooden door creak and the cold winter wind enveloped the whole house, including you. You were a little knocked up by the coldness, but you weren't shaking so much as you were with the nervousness and excitement of seeing this man face to face in a moment.

“So you can be here now, and then we can figure out where you will be living next” you heard Tommy saying this to the new people, and the steps, that you could definitely say they contained two big men and one tiny girl. You turn around to be ready and put your hands behind you, making your boobs pop out a little. You set a big cute smile on your face and wait, till everyone will see you and you will see them too.

They finally appeared around the corner. Of course there was Tommy and the little girl, but it was the man who looked even more attractive up close that caught your attention. His mustache and beard, which were slightly gray with age, and his soft hair, which curled slightly and was gray-silver in color. He was wearing a brown coat with a checkered dark green shirt underneath that you longed to wear. You'd bet everything he must look amazing under all those clothes.

You stared at him like he was a beautiful painting, like a living version of the mona lisa. You couldn't take your eyes off him, your body just wouldn't let you, and the man felt the same way. As soon as he saw you, he didn't take his eyes off you just like you couldn't take yours. He even stopped paying attention to anything Tommy said or what the little girl said, his focus was only on you. You could catch a glimpse of his beautiful brown eyes, which reminded you of warmth and sunshine, as if you were lying on the beach and the rays of the sun were tanning your whole body in pimps.

Tommy started realising, that there is something between you two, because the way and the lenght you were staring at each other, wasn't definitely normal. That's why he started to act more, to get both of your attention. He clear his throat pretty loudly and started talking intensely and distinctly. “Okay lovebirds, I think it's time to introduce yourselfs” he tap few times with his palm on the man's back pretty hard, till he was finally focused only on Tommy.

“This is my brother, Joel, and there is…uh…” he wanted to talk about the little girl, tha were standing beside Joel like some oath, but he didn't know who exactly she was, so she introduced herself. “Ellie, Joel's cargo” she joked making you chuckle slightly. When Joel saw and heard your sweet soft laugh, his heart melted and his facial muscles automatically formed into a loving smile. Tommy started being more and more suspicious about Joel, because he never saw him smile like that, not even at a woman.

“Hi” you said really quietly, they hardly even hear you and you wave shyly, at Joel and Ellie, your face turn red as Joel's smile got bigger after your cute move. He just nodded as a greeting back and he still didn't take his eyes off yours, his smile still held on his face as if it was stuck. Even Ellie looked surprised at Joel's reaction too, it wasn't really common behavior from him. She put on a mischievous smile as she kept glancing at you and at Joel, in circles and alternately. Tommy was in a similar situation, but at least he managed to get Joel's attention for a moment.

“And this is our helper, Y/N” Tommy made your job easier and introduced you. You didn't hear much of what Joel responded to your name, but you could read from his lips that he repeated your name silently to himself with with loving eyes and his smile still didn't drop until you broke eye contact with him, and looked at Tommy, who made it clear to you that from now, you are taking care of both of them. “She will show you around and show you your nee rooms. Be nice to her" he added to Joel's ear and pat him on Joel's back, which made him balance a little, but he coped it well.

When Tommy left, you do as he told and take control of them. “Follow me” you said with a gorgeus smile on your face, looking at Ellie but when you look at Joel again, your face started being so warm that you needed to look away. You get infront of them, so that they could see where are you going. You led them to the second floor, up the stairs where there were several doors. You walked over to the two of them, that were at the end of the hall, and waited for them to come up to you so, they could hear and see you. “So these two rooms are free, exactly for you. It's up to you how you split them up now" you said and pointed your hand at the doors next to you, so they could see a demonstration. Ellie immediately rushed to the door that was closer to you. You therefore stepped away from it to give her a better passage inside.

When she entered into the room, "Holy fuck!" was heard, which caused a slight joy and laughter in you. Joel chuckled too, but still apologized for Ellie. "I'm sorry, Ellie doesn't know her manners-" "It's okay, I understand her” you snapped at Joel but not in a rude way. “Joel, you need to fucking see it-!” “ELLIE!” Joel raised his voice a little, trying to point out to her not to speak obscenely at last, but she was so impressed with her new room that she did not even notice this little thing.

“Well come in and see by yourself” You nodded your head towards the door that was only inches away from the one Ellie had just appropriated. Joel turned towards the bright cherry red door, opened it slowly and safely, and stepped smoothly inside. Normally you would have left him to meditate in his room by himself, but clearly, this was not a normal situation, at least for you. Joel left the door open, thus indicating that he expects you to follow him there.

You didn't cross the line, that split the hallway and the room, but you get closer to the door to look at Joel, how he walk around the room and ran two fingers over the furniture, making you felt a little pulsw down your panties, as you watch his big fingers. Of course your mind started working immediately, and you imagined and creat a milion, maybe bilion scenarios of Joel, putting these fingers into you, making you come without seconds. You needed to stop these thoughts, otherwise you would literally leaked the wettnes through your shorts. “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

When you ask him this question, you could see his slight, devilish smile appeared on his face and he took a deep breath as he tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. Oh god he's seriously torturing you! You kept yourself from making any sound of excitement. If you had a dick, it would already be up long time ago, but instead you have a complete fire in your panties. You needed to cross your legs to keep the fire only in this area, and also so that Joel wouldn't know anything. After he take a deep breath, he turned his head to you, still smirking at you. “Even though i like it, call me Joel” he said, now his body was directly facing you too.

“Okay Joel, is there anything?” You voice was kind of shaky as you said his name. It felt so strange but good, maybe too good. “No, I don't think so princess” your legs started shaking as he teasing you with the nickname he just called you. Even that your pussy was literally dying for Joel's cock, and you whole body, including your voice, was fully shaking, you trying to kept your decency. “A-alright. Good night then” you ran away quickly, closing his doors and smile at him, one last time, as the smallest inch that still left, before you close the door fully, hit and you could make the last eye contact for today.

You quickly get to your room, closing your door right behind you, and sat on the floor, relaxing your back and head on the white door, that you just closed. “Oh my gosh” you whimpered in the air, trying to process what just happened. How can a human, make you feel like this? That you cannot talk, walk, or do anything. That he could say anything, and you would do it right away. You were surprised by your reactions at Joel's words, but you weren't really surprised either. When you recapitulated the whole thing in your head, you would always react the same way over and over again, that's just the way it is.

As you finally, aftwr a while, went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed, you couldn't stop thinking about Joel, his shirt, his bushy hair that you'd love to run your fingers through and scratch his head, his incredibly amazing puppy eyes, the which you could look at for hours and never stop being entertained, and best of all, his hands. He wasn't very muscular, like some bodybuilder, but he was muscular to you. His hands look big from a distance, what must they look like up close? How it must look on your cheeks, your hips...oh god.

The horniness that Joel aroused in you, began to increase with every millisecond just thinking about him. Not only did he start doing mischief in your vagina, but also all over your body. You wanted so badly to pleasure yourself, to touch yourself and come over the man of your dreams, but your anxiety wouldn't handle it. After all, the man you'd be touching yourself over is only a few feet away, what if he heard you? Or worse, what if he caught you? You couldn't let this happen and you had to endure it through gritted teeth and finally go to sleep.

~~~

Few minutes past, to be specific half hour, and you were finally smooth and clean, ready to go to sleep. Everything was going smoothly until you decided not to go to sleep yet. After all, Ellie and Joel are your guests, you have to take care of them, it's your duty, your job. So you decided, in just a low-cut top and light shorts, to go check on both of them. When you lightly and quietly knocked on Ellie's door, nothing came, so you decided to walk in slowly. Ellie was already in bed sleeping under the covers, so you just turned off the lights and closed the door back, you didn't want to wake her up. Now comes the hard part, Joel.

You take a deep, deep breath before you knock on his door, quietly too, and wait for answer. He was clearly awake, because you heard him saying: “open”. You walk in then, steady and slowly, and your eyes immediately catch Joel laying in his bed with a knife in his hand. You got scared at first, but he calmed you down as he explained that he just cleaned the knife and examined it closely. “I-i just wanted to ask you if you need anything, before I go to sleep” you said, pointing your thumb behind you, to show that your room is in the hallway on the other side. Joel was only staring at you for a moment, without a single word. His eyes darkened all of the sudden and you could felt the cold, coming from his, now dark black eyes. “There is actually”

Your heartbeat started raising, as his hungry eyes travels up and down, checking your body and clothes you wore. You both knew, that you are fully naked behind them. You had no bra, no panties, no underwear at all. You never sleep with underwear on and this night was no different. You felt goosebumps running fast and intense from your legs to your shoulders as Joel slowly stood up. He looked like a bear, a hungry wild animal that is still gentle. “W-w-what is it?” You asked really quietly, your voice shaky and stressed, as he slowly moved closer and closer to you. You had mixed feelings of horror and fear, but excitement and anticipation at the same time. His smirk still hasn't fade out yet.

You getting ready to step behind you, as Joel was getting really closer, but he stopped at a pretty distance from you, so you don't even need to back up. He stood right infront of you, still checking you out without any feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness, not at all, he looks pretty confident. After a while, he finally look at your eyes, making the most intense and exciting eye contact in your whole life. “Can you show me how to make my bed? You know after the apocalypse I wasn't able to even see a normal bed in a few years” he said, slightly in his normal husky voice and scratched his neck as his head tilted back on the bed. You didn't know if you were more relieved or sad that he didn't say what you wanted, but either way you calmed down and got some of your confidence back.

“Yeah, sure” you said with a smile finally and calm face, and walked around Joel, feeling his eyes glued on you. When you get close enough to the bed, you started your 'teaching'. “So you just take this side, and you put it right here, nice and straight…” you said as you were folding his shriveled duvet. You were mostly focused on showing Joel how to make the bed, but you knew very well that he was right behind you, and apparently not looking at the bed at all. “And with that, you do just one more step, and you're done!” You straightened up and happily watched the perfectly placed comforter on the man's bed. You were proud of yourself because you had never done it so well. “Well and-” you turned your back to the bed only to bump into Joel's huge chest that was dangerously close to you.

Horrified, you looked up, only to see Joel with his sly smirk again. You really started to panic in this situation. You could smell his alcohol smell mixed with the smell of nature and weapons, you loved it. “Uh I- um” you trying to find the words but you just can't. This was the situation you were thinking before, that he made you just lise your words and balance too, which showed itself in a moment. Joel was slightly moving forward, so he forced you to back up, but since the bed that you touched with your feet was right behind you, you unexpectedly bumped into it, lost your balance and fell on it. The fall was accompanied by a slight squeal, thanks to the shock and surprise.

You were sitting on the bed, your arms leaning on the bed, and you watched Joel gracefully drop to his knees. You didn't stop looking at each others eyes, his eyes were so mesmerizing and he is all too aware of it. You widened your eyes as Joel's smile get bigger, when he slowly starts touching your legs with his big, big hands and arms. He was scrubbing some part of your legs with his thumb, making you sqeeze the sheet under you. Joel was trying to read from your eyes and see, if you like it or not, but it was really difficult. You looked scared but excited at the same time, and you actually were scared and excited.

“W-we can't” you whispered, thinking Joel won't even hear you but he clearly did, and answer immediately. “Why not?” His hands started slowly and steady spreading your legs apart, making his view on your very sensitive area from your whole body. You exhale deeply as he do that, trying not to scream. “Is it because of my brother?” he asked gently, teasing you as his hands goes further to your thighs, closer and closer to your entrance. You watched every move he made, and it felt so fucking good. The feeling of his massive hands on your thights, the warm that went through your whole body, it was an incredible feeling.

You shooke your head to no, and still watch him with a big pupils. “Then what is stopping us?” his voice was groany with hunger and lust, only for you. His hands were now only few, really few centimetres from where you were desperate for his fingers to have, and not only for the fingers. “I don't know” you were so innocent and quiet as a mouse. If only Joel knew all the things you imagined you would do with him, he would look at you completely differently, but since he doesn't, he saw you exactly like this, quiet and innocent, which attracted him immensely.

Before you even finish your sentence, he he attacked your lips drastically and desperately with his own, placing both hands on your cheeks so he could correct your face as he pleased. You imagined that Joel was a good kisser, but you couldn't have imagined this much in your wildest dreams. The way your lips met, the way your tongues touched, the way his hands hold your head tight, your heart was melting. Just like you, Joel loved the way your saliva mingled, the way you didn't even fight your tongue too much, showing your submissiveness. Of course he would have kissed you much longer, but this was not in his plan.

He pulled away from your lips, immediately made eye contact with you and slowly leaned down, right between your legs. You started to get a little stressed and nervous, so you stopped thinking about everything and just focused on Joel's touches, only on him. He smile as he saw your worried eyes and your shaking legs, it made him feel powerful. “Promise me, you will make that noises as much as your body will allow” he said, licking his index and middle finger and with puffy chocolate eyes he waited for your answer. You just nodded your head briskly and watched eagerly as his hands removed your shorts in one powerful movement, ending up at your ankles on the ground. Now you were directly exposed, your main sexual organ and Joel could proudly say he was the first man to see it.

He then waited no more seconds and gently put his index finger in your entrance, making you moan quietly and close your eyes. It wasn't painfull, of course it wasn't, but it was something different. The feeling that someone else is putting his hands inside you, even better when it was Joel, gosh your butterflies in your stomach started going wild. He then began to lightly curl his finger inside you, making you throw your head back and sigh softly but clearly. This was all just the beginning.

Unbeknownst to you, he subtly stuck his middle finger in as well, which made you sigh louder, but still formally. Your surprise made you feel even better and you enjoyed his big fingers in your small vagina. A few minutes and your legs started to open and close on their own, occasionally touching Joel's head by mistake, but he loved it. It was all beautiful but something was missing, which Joel added in a moment. He added his other hand to the situation, gently rubbing against your most sensitive part of your body, your clit, and this was just something. You were twitching all over, you couldn't not move, it wasn't possible. The way both his hands and fingers were interlocked, they created an even bigger fire down there.

He watched you like a statue. He recorded your every movement, even if it was just a tiny one, perhaps invisible to the naked eye. He trying to learn your body, your moves, everything about you. He try a magical things with his fingers inside you, and try to find out what position of them make you feel the best. It didn't take long for him to find the exact way to make you moan louder and more often.

You weren't yourself anymore You flinched as Joel teased your clit and made a complete ripple inside you with his fingers. All the worries and stress and problems were suddenly there when you felt that you were approaching the edge. It felt like a battle in your lower abdomen, excitement and the feeling of having to go to the bathroom rushed through your whole body, and you knew very well that you wouldn't last too long. His thick big fingers inside you made you stretch so much, that after that, you could fit in there anything.

“Oh fuck~” you sighed as you started feeling the climax taking total control over you. Joel were staring at you like a creep, smiling that you will come in a minute on his hands. “C'mon princess” Joel tries to cheer you up a little and it definitely helps, because every time you heard Joel's deep warm voice, you whole body started heating up in a unimaginable speed. You imagined in your life a lot, you have very good fantasy, but you wouldn't have imagined this even for God's sake. The excitement, the passion, the heat and the feeling of fullness was so beautiful that you thought for a moment that Jesus was fucking you with his hands.

“Oh my- Joel~”

There it comes. You feel it. The strange feeling to get it all out and fearing that it will be an awkward moment. The feeling that makes you quickly throw your head back, close your eyes tightly and dig your nails right into the covers beneath you, thightened your walls around Joel's fingers so that he knew too, that you gonna come in a second. Moaning Joel's name across the whole room, you finally realise your self on his hand.

You didn't really care if anyone heard you or not, the only thing you could focus on right now was your unforgettable orgasm causes only by Joel's fingers. After the nice tickling that spreads all over your body, including your lady part, you struggle to catch your breath, eyes still closed. Now all your senses came back and you started to blush in embarrassment. You quickly opened your eyes and lowered your head only to see a wickedly smiling Joel who was as happy as if he had just received a Christmas present, as far as possible your orgasm was a present for Joel, but definitely not the last one.

“Good girl sweetheart,” he said with a comforting smile on his face, not bealiving that he really exist how gorgeous this man is. “-but I am not done with you yet” the soft smile immediately transformed into a devilish grin. But before you could even widen your eyes in fear and raise your eyebrows, Joel stopped you and the surprised gasp turned into a comforting moan.

Joel now had his lips glued to your vagina, his tongue inside you again, it went smoothly as you were already wet all over from the previous orgasm. His large sculpted nose rubbed pleasantly against your rather sensitive clitoris, which you couldn't take anymore, and you had to make another physical contact with Joel. You grabbed his soft gray hair and very gently that he didn't even feel it whenever you flinched at his curling of his tongue inside you. Once again, all your senses went blank and all you could feel was his wet tongue, bulbous nose and velvety hair. You didn't even notice how loud you were as you sighed with delight at Joel's name and vulgarities over and over. At the same time, you didn't care that now you don't look like the decent and well-mannered girl you did when you met.

Joel wanted to talk to you, to make you feel safe and horny at the same time, but he really couldn't as his full face were on your labia, but he still groan into you, sending the vibration of his voice to your cervix. How much your body were overstimulated, you knew you wouldn't hold your realise in for too long. The heat that goes from Joel's mouth to your cheeks, made your face goes red but not only because of the hot air. The room was soon filled with nothing but your sighs and Joel's mumbling into your genitalia. Joel knew exactly what he was fucking doing.

The way his big palms going back and forth on your thighs, where he sometimes squeezed them gently, the way he sometimes pressed his nose on purpose against your clitoris, which caused a pained squeak to escape from your languid lips, and the most important part, how his most flexible muscle in his body made different shapes, moving from side to side, front to back and in and out of your hole. All these combinations together drove you crazy. His beard tickled you slightly and sometimes it stung, which made it worse...or better? Your strokes of Joel's hair started to get stronger and more intense as you felt that tight feeling again not only in your stomach but also in your vagina.

“Joel I am gonna-“

You said real quick, like you were in a rush and you actually were, because in a few seconds after you said that, your sweet liquid came out from you, right inside Joel's mouth, making him hum in in pleasure as he sipped all your juice. Your eyes wide opened, your chest moving up and down in a rapid speed, your mouth trying to get enough oxygen into your lungs so that not only your breathing but also your heartbeat finally calms down and returns to the normal position it was before you experienced all of this with Joel.

He let you rest for a while and gather strength. Meanwhile, he licked off all your liquid that was still left on his mustache and fingers, which he didn't have time to eat earlier. When you started seeing normaly again and everything wasn't blurry anymore, you looked at Joel again, with a relief and a relaxing light smile. To be honest, you didn't feel the least bit embarrassed, more like guilty that he had given you two orgasms in quick succession and you hadn't done anything for him. “Are you okay princess?” he asked with his deep but soft voice, raising both of his eyebrows so that he give you his cute chocolate puppy eyes. You couldn't really talk, so you just nodded with your heavily breath and the sweat were dropping from your forehead.

His face immediately formed into a grin of happiness, but after a moment you could see nothing but darkness, black and cold from his eyes again, which permeated the entire room at an abnormal speed. Goosebumps automatically appeared on all parts of your body and you shivered slightly as the chill went down there as well. You wanted to ask him, if he want something too, you would do anything. Even if he want to fuck in your ass, you would allow it, but before you could even breath in and say something, your lips were on Joel's, where you could still taste your sweet juice.

They were very aggressive and rough, he even bit your lips a few times, making you bleed from them slightly, but you loved it. He was tasting your saliva and wrestling your tongue. His body weighed you down so much that you had to lie on your back on the bed and this automatically wrapped your arms around Joel's neck while his were on your bare sides. “Your lips taste amazing” he growled as he attacked them again, his large warm palm traveling down your body. You felt his hand on your stomach, slowly riding up until he bumped into your light t-shirt, which was a very light challenge for Joel. He gently moved his hand under the t-shirt where he found your bare breasts and squeezed one of them tightly, causing you to moan into the kisses. You could feel his devilish smirk after you moan, so of course he put a bigger tension in holding your breast, which caused that you needed to break the kiss and breath the air.

“You like that, don't ya?” he asked, voice like a hungry wolf and fingers moving slightly around your nipple. Your eyes were still closed, you didn't even had that confidence to open them and look at Joel, how hungry he was for you. As he massaged your breast gently but hard at the same time, you heard the belt unfasten quickly and immediately after a sound of dropping some material on the floor, which you logically deduced that Joel had just removed his pants with only one hand, and really quickly without inhibitions. It turns you even more on feeling his cock's head on your thights, and you could say only from that, that it's huge as fuck.

“Are you ready sweetheart?” he asked gently, slowing his moving with his hand around your boob and focusing on your face, to see your answer. You open your eyes finally, little curious how his dick is looking, but his eyes trapped you from looking anywhere else, but only in his dark eyes with a lust. You nodded with agreement, but you were still little frightened about it, and of course Joel recognized it on you. That was the reason why he moved his palm to your cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb, making you feel a little more comfortable and safe. A tear were dropping from your eyes down your face, still from the last two orgasm you had earlier but not only because of them.

His puppy eyes tells you that it's gonna be okay, that you don't need to worry about it. Joel didn't even need to say anything to make you trust him, so when you relaxed your eyes and whole body, Joel immediately took advantage and slowly entered you with his penis. Even though you thought it would be painless, it certainly wasn't. Joel wasn't even halfway through and you were already squealing in pain, more and more tears welling up in your eyes and you had to bite your lips with your teeth so hard they started to bleed. Your back arched and your walls closed, not allowing Joel to continue any further. He groans as you stopped him before he was even halfway there. “C'mon babygirl, relax for me” he said, started rubbing your cheek by his thumb again, but this time all you could focus on was that feeling of fullness and you couldn't even imagine that anything else could fit in there.

“Princess look at me” your eyes still closed, but your body sligtly relax as you used to the lenght, or at least temporary length for now. “Look at me” Joel repeat himself, with more roughness and aggression in his voice that it automatically forced you to open your eyes and look at his chubby face. You were still bitting your lips, as you try to eased the pain. “Can you relax for me?” deep, comforting and the ear-pleasing voice intoxicated you so much that without you doing anything, your body practically relaxed on its own, making more room for Joel to continue and push him all the way into you. He didn't hesitate for a second and slowly pushed it in, even though you were more relaxed than before, it still hurt. He stretched you so hard that you thought you might burst, it looks like his lenght was infinite.

“Good girl, good girl-“ his voice cracked as he was getting closer to put all his lenght into you, and as your walls started getting slowly tightened around his cock. You felt that you won't take any more, that this is your maximum but apparently, it wasn't. Few inches left and Joel lose his patience about taking it slowly, so when he was really close to the root, he pushed it aggressively into you so much, that the sound of the slap could be heard along with your loud sigh, full of pleasure but relief at the same time. “Wasn't that hard, was it?” he whispered with a little pain, as he tries so much to hold back his natural instinct to thrust into you hardly.

You shake your head for answer, your vision gray and blurry, all sounds muffled and all you felt and sensed was Joel and his cock inside you. “Focus on my voice alright?” his voice was sweet but harsh and rough at the same time, but above all it was soothing. He has exactly the kind of voice that would make you fall asleep within minutes. You nodded again, not using your words or speaking and you started getting ready for the pushing. But you couldn't prepare enough for that, it's impossible.

Joel slowly, smoothly and lightly started thrusting into you, which was uncomfortable at first and you had to hold on so you wouldn't kick Joel away with your legs, but after a while of thrusting it just got better and better. It started to become more smooth as you slowly but surely started to fill again with your endless juice. Your pained moans slowly began to turn into full pleasure and your legs opened, feeling you want more. Joel quickly picked up on all these signs and understood that he should start adding speed, which he did. The sound of his pelvis slapping against your ass, the breaths he made and the wet sounds, god it was amazing!

It didn't take long for him to find that sweet spot deep inside, that made you even wilder, than when he licked or fingered you. As he was speeding up his speed as well as the force of his thrusts, his sighs gets louder and more devastated, but they weren't as loud as yours. “That's right baby, just like that” pulling him out of you, and then all the way in again, makes you jumped a little and digging your nails into the back of his neck, which was already so scratched. He thrust it into you faster and faster. And again and again and again. “F-fuck” he groans as his orgasm started being too close, so was yours. You started curling your toes and thick closing your eyes, as you felt that you are going to come soon too.

It really didn't take too long, and after a few fast and hard thrust of Joel, your walls thightened, wanting to pull his dick away and the cold and fresh feeling of realise swallowed you whole as you sighed Joel's name one last time as loudly and cuttingly as you could. Joel didn't last long as his cock was wrapped around your walls anyway, and moments after you reached your orgasm, you heard Joel's attractive and loud growl like a bear, as he threw his head back and filled you all over with his cum.

You both stayed like that for a while, breathing like you had just run a marathon and sweating just as much. But after a while, Joel needed more rest, so he gently pulled his massive cock out of you, which was again an incredibly pleasant feeling, and collapses right next to you. You both had your eyes closed, all you could hear was your hot breaths. You were so tired, exhausted and out of energy that there was no way you were going back to your room and Joel totally respected and understood that. He himself was abnormally tired.

“Great job princess” he complimented you after a while when he finally had enough oxygen in him to speak. You couldn't help but smile at his praise. Right after he said that you felt the sensation of a large hand underneath you, pulling you closer to the hot sweaty male body. You purred pleasantly and rested your head on his toned chest, listening to his heartbeat. After a while, when your bodies weren't so overheated with adrenaline, Joel covered you both with the blanket you had laid so nicely.

“Hope we gonna see each other more often” he said, finally in his normal relaxing voice. You smiled even more when he said that. “I swear on my life we will” making both of you giggled a bit, Joel gives you a sweet little kiss into your hair for goodnight. You move a bit to make yourself comfortable and it didn't took you long enough to fall asleep.

And there you are, sleeping in big man's arms, making your dream come true, after a wild night you never forget, because it was your best night you ever had, and the best part is, that this isn't definitely your last night like that.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #smut #joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel x y/n #joel x you #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #pedro x reader #pedrohub #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you

487 notes · View notes

elliespuns · 4 months ago

Note

hello!! first of all, i don't intend to say this as a way to create a fuss or anything like that, i just see your blog as a space where we can debate a lot of tlou related topics and i want to know your opinion about it :-) anyways, while i did enjoy the hbo series, i also think it was very flawed in translating both joel and ellie's personalities - but i want to focus on joel's atm.

i don't think joel is "insensitive" on the game, but i do believe the fact that he tried so hard to hide his feelings and barely ever showed his soft side is a SUPER important characteristic of his.

i don't mind the way pedro played joel but at the same time i just cannot see both of them as the same man. and i don't talk only about the scenes where joel was visibly anxious or cried, but also the torture scene. i think it is one of the most iconic scenes on the game (also, I'm the one who asked you to take pics of it a couple weeks ago LOL) specially cause it shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much.

i think pedro was more than capable to play a joel that is both too much of a father figure for his own good AND a tough son of a b*tch that can and will kill people with his bare hands to protect whatever is important to him.

from my point of view, crying during the "i saved her" scene is really out of character for game joel. when the guy just confesses he killed a bunch of people, "doomed" the whole world just to keep his little girl safe and then lied straight to her face, but his expression shows no hint of sadness whatsoever, that, for me, is the peak of his character.

"if somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i'd do it all over again". of course he's hurt that ellie doesn't trust him anymore, and of course he wasn't exactly happy to kill those fireflies, but he did what he thought was right and he'd rather have ellie hate him for another thousand years to come than know he just left such a sweet girl to die in the hands of a crumbling group, in the name of a cause he never really cared about. he knows his actions will have consequences but he doesn't cry cause he is willing to die for it (and he really did).

sorry for rambling but i really want to read other people's opinion about it!!

First of all, I love how perfectly you've just described game Joel. This is exactly how I feel about our man, and even if I tried, I could never put it into words like this. Hands down, bro, this is so well said.

Both Ellie and Joel were portrayed differently in the show (it's not the worst thing; I know that people who don't follow the game fell in love with these versions of them, and for them it's as magical as it was for us when playing), but I guess, for the game lovers, it's harder to see past this fact simply because getting to love a character and having to learn everything there is about them, growing up with them only to find out the creators (people who gave them this exceptional and amazing character) didn't care enough to stick to what they came up with is kind of a bummer. I mean, you can choose to ignore it on the screen, but yet it's something so 'palpable' you have to watch with a little *sigh* in your mind.

"It shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much."

I agree. Game Joel has this death stare that makes people fear from miles away while show Joel doesn't. I think Pedro could pull it out without a blink of an eye—if only they'd given him this Joel to play.

People say that making show Joel more "sensitive" was to make him more realistic because in the game, the characters are portrayed as having to deal with the impossible (like killing 10 clickers and a bloater without any damage, etc.), while in the show, he's a real man, so real attributes and emotions are needed. I get that; that makes perfect sense. But I still also agree with folks who say that keeping Joel's "detached" and "thin-skinned" characteristics wouldn't hurt anyone because what's unrealistic about that?

Game Joel and show Joel are completely different characters in my head. I love them both. I can switch them in my head and tune into both Joels, but I still prefer the game when it comes to the story and the character Joel is.

It's funny because when I watch show Joel, I can't help but see a puppy version of game Joel, tbh. Pedro is literally able to play anything, so his version of "sensitive" Joel serves me just right when I tune into the show. But knowing Pedro would kill the "callous" and "unaffected" version of Joel, and it bugs me so much we'll never get to see it.

Btw, I'm working on your request, more photos of Joel torturing David's men are coming!

#the last of us #tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #the last of us game #the last of us hbo #troy baker #pedro pascal #elliespuns answers

43 notes · View notes

youryurigoddess · 10 months ago

Text

The stuff dreams are made of, or the interesting case of Anthony J. Crowley

We’ve talked a bit about Crowley’s trauma and his way of reclaiming the narrative in the past, but it’s time for some deep dive into the story he’s trying to tell. A story that meanders through the fabric of time and space, slightly changing with the human fashion trends, but slowly and surely bringing the demon closer to a certain angel like the red thread of fate.

1793

Some stories start in a garden, some even Before the Beginning, but this one starts with an Arrangement. Or, to be precise, a little bit after that.

See, most of the iterations of Crowley we saw throughout the history until then didn’t delve too deep into human cultural tropes. If anything, they were the inspirations behind more or less prominent biblical figures, maybe some nameless villains matching his demonic provenance and role assigned to him by his employers.

But in the hustle and bustle of the revolutionary Paris, Crowley emerges as a prototype of the Scarlet Pimpernel — a chivalrous Englishman who rescues aristocrats before they are sent to the guillotine. Stan Lee famously called him “the first character who could be called a superhero”.

Sir Percy Blakeney, the main character of the novel and the West End play under the same title, leads a double life. Appearing as nothing more than a wealthy fop, in reality he’s a formidable swordsman, a quick-thinking master of disguise and an escape artist. Even his own wife, Marguerite, has no idea.

Unfortunately Marguerite is being blackmailed with her brother’s life to find and expose the wanted Pimpernel. She regrets betraying her husband the moment she's forced to do it and spends the rest of the plot working to save him. She does, they make up, and return together to England.

In Aziraphale and Crowley’s case there was just a short stop for crêpes. But what seems to be an inspiration of a specific scene might as well come up later in the wider perspective of the show, so keep in mind those fragments of the musical’s libretto:

We all are caught in the middle

of one long treacherous riddle.

Can I trust you?

Should you trust me too?...

We shamble on through this hell

taking on more secrets to sell

'til there comes a day

when we sell our souls away.

We seek him here, we seek him there,

Those Frenchies seek him everywhere!

Is he in heaven? Is he in hell?

Where is that damn elusive Pimpernel!

1941

The London Blitz is when we see a full-fledged iteration of the superhero Crowley performing dashing and heroic deeds under the literal cover of darkness and air bomb smoke. In a bespoke double-breasted suit and a fedora — still free from the unfortunate modern connotations from the internet culture — he’s clearly channeling Humphrey Bogart as a private investigator Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon (1941) now.

It all starts with a woman and a simple plan gone wrong: Spade’s partner is shot dead, just like the man he was supposed to be tailing upon the request of a mysterious Miss Wonderly. And when a very soft-looking, sweet-scented man named Joel Cairo appears in his office willing to pay a hefty price for a "black figure of a bird", Spade starts not only a new job, but also his own quest for truth.

On the surface, The Maltese Falcon ends happily: the killer gets caught, and the hero winds up with the Falcon. But Spade's victory is completely hollow. The Falcon itself, originally meant as a symbol of loyalty, transforms into a symbol of a corrupting, futile, and self-destructive greed that makes people betray their own loyalties.

The treasure is just a worthless forgery and he’s fallen in love with the criminal — one of the first femmes fatales on screen. Despite his feelings for her and a kiss, Spade gives her up and submits the statuette as evidence, describing it as "the stuff that dreams are made of".

Remember the eagle lectern? The eagle was believed to be flying highest in the sky and therefore closest to heaven, symbolizing the carrying of the word of God to the four corners of the world. Aziraphale in the 1941 church scene is the closest to Heaven we’ve seen him on Earth. Just look at him: dressed in a smart, well-fitted coat with peaked lapels, symbolizing his Heavenly allegiance, and doing good this time not as a work assignment, but of his own accord. Being the closest to Heaven means the furthest and most unattainable for a demon like Crowley.

The Maltese Falcon is a metaphor for unattainability — things out of reach to desire and fight for, although never truly possess. It’s “the stuff that dreams are made of”. But Crowley secured the original — made of gold and encrusted with jewels, but hiding its real value under black enamel — eerily reminiscent of the demon himself and the unending kindness behind his inappropriately tight black clothing.

Quoting Michael Ralph — the production mastermind behind Good Omens — from the S01E04 “Saturday Morning Funtime” DVD commentary, “We wanted to tip our hat to the Maltese Falcon as being a precious object that no-one thought really exists but it does”. So we can safely assume that Crowley can and will achieve his dream in the future.

1967

Do you know what else happens in 1941 in Scotland? Ian Fleming, a British naval intelligence agent, meets with the famous occultist Aleister Crowley and asks him to lead the interrogation of newly imprisoned Rudolf Hess — a leading member of the Nazi Party in Nazi Germany appointed Deputy Führer — given the two men’s shared enthusiasm for the occult.

This meeting has a significant impact on Fleming’s work as a writer; Aleister Crowley becomes the inspiration for his first villain Le Chiffre and creates a blueprint for most of the James Bond’s franchise ever since 1953, the publication date of the novel Casino Royale.

Meanwhile our Anthony J. Crowley believes in himself not being the villain he’s usually and sometimes forcefully painted as, but a superhero in disguise. The character of James Bond in particular inspires him so much that he buys petrol to get the limited You Only Live Twice (1967) window decals for his Bentley, dons his own tactical turtleneck, and sets off to organize a heist like no other. Sean Connery style.

Like a typical superhero, Crowley’s once again both saved and betrayed by his love interest. Aziraphale leaves him with a thermos of Holy Water, a faint smile, and a hope that they’ll soon match their speeds to meet halfway at the Ritz. The cancelled heist is not an ending, but a promise of a new beginning. And the fact that UK decriminalizes homosexual acts in the very same year is more than telling in this regard.

2019

An exceptional situation calls for exceptional solutions, and what’s more important than the impending Apocalypse? Demon Crowley does his best to put the arsenal of his 20th century film inspirations to good use.

"Ask yourself, do you feel lucky?" Crowley drawls, clearly imitating (although slightly misquoting) the titular Dirty Harry (1971). He’s hoping to be menacing and making the point of being the one on the right side of the law and history.

Some situations require more than quoting action heroes is not everything though. He knows what to do:

A jeep was heading purposefully towards the gate, and it looked as though it was crowded with people who were about to shout questions and fire guns and not worry about which order they did this in.

[Crowley] brightened up. This was more what you might call his area of competence.

He took his hands out of his pockets and he raised them like Bruce Lee and then he smiled like Lee Van Cleef.

'Ah,' he said, 'here comes transport.'

When in doubt, Crowley acts. He transforms into a combination of a stoic martial arts phenomenon and a sardonic, menacing character. His smile alone — even on Aziraphale’s angelic face, as seen in one of the final cut scenes — seems to be enough to ward off evil spirits, angels, and humans alike.

But we all know that even as breathtaking performances as those can’t protect anyone from the cogs of the Heavenly machine and its plans.

2023

No wonder that Crowley’s tactical turtleneck comes back in style after mere four years of retirement with a self-introduction “Former Demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?”. Something has changed during this time; he’s more mature now, not playing pretend by hiding behind the usual veneer of sarcasm and movie quotes anymore. Finally comfortable with the fact that this is his own story and there’s no need to become anyone else than himself.

The bookshop fire and the Heavenly trial still seem to haunt the demon in a way that makes him realize what all humans know: that every hero is his own biggest enemy. His ultimate dream might effortlessly change into his greatest nightmare any moment now, and the only thing he can do about it is hover in a two-minute distance from the epicenter of his feelings. But Crowley has no time to work on it when a new mission appears, to protect his angel from Gabriel and the combined powers of Heaven and Hell. Even if this — rather ostentatiously — is the last thing he wants to think about at the moment.

Crowley tries to plan ahead, while his story slowly warps into a different genre due to Aziraphale’s interruptions. He eventually changes back into his usual Henley shirt after agreeing to swap places and guarding the bookshop while the angel is off to Edinburgh, collecting more clues. Did he finish his personal quest off-screen? Did he just give up on it in the whirlwind of matchmaking shenanigans? Remains to be seen.

In the S2 finale our master of disguise in yet another turtleneck proves that he can successfully infiltrate even the universe’s back office. We don’t know where he drives off in the end, but one thing is certain — he’s got a plan. And a world (and his dream) to save, like a superhero he is.

#a turtleneck kind of day #crowley is a superhero #and a master spy #with a plan #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #go2 meta #ineffable husbands #crowley #turtleneck crowley #yuri is doing her thing

128 notes · View notes

papipedroo · 1 year ago

Text

Sunlight and Lemons

Sunlight and Lemons (Joel Miller x reader 🍋)

Rated: Fluff | Age Gap (Joel is 40 & reader is 23)

Summary: Your father’s Bill and Frank welcome two new guests and one catches your eyes.

The three of you were eating breakfast.

Bill’s famous bacon, eggs, and buttered toast… With extra bacon?

You could tell something was up with the way Frank was bouncing excitedly as he spoke and the way Bill’s lips curled even deeper into a frown.

“Something is going on and I would like to know what it is.” You finally said, eyeing the two men.

Frank cut is conversation about the ripe tomatoes quickly as he began to fidget with his silverwear.

“You set up it up so you tell her.” Bill motioned to Frank with an unamused tone.

“Well sweetie… I decided we’re going to make some friends so I invited guests over this afternoon for a celebratory garden party.” Frank’s eyes lit up the more he talked about what he has planned for today.

“We’re having… Guests?” You muttered confusingly.

They never invite guests. It was practically the number one rule in every given apocalypse… A rule the Bill broke twice and Frank once, but still. It was a real. Don’t let people in and you remain safe.

You looked between the two, not sure who to settle your gaze on until you finally settled on Frank. The one who easily spilt everything.

“Who exactly? Are they dangerous.” You asked.

“Oh no.” Frank waved off your worries immediately.

“That we know of.” Bill muttered.

Frank gave him a look before smiling at you, “The woman I have been speaking with is very kind and she’s bringing a friend of hers, a man.”

You nodded slowly still unsure of the whole ordeal, “I see.”

“We’ll be doing trades with them often.” Frank continued, “So after breakfast, get dressed and I will love some help preparing the table outside while Bill will be preparing lunch a little later.”

Bill’s eyebrows raised as he took a bite of bacon, “I am?”

“You are.” Frank assured.

And that was that.

The three of you were having a garden party with complete strangers. Should be fun…

What was Frank thinking? That was the only thought you had as you got ready.

You couldn’t even be upset with him at that moment. He was the one who found you hobbling to the fence after your terrifying escape from raiders… He was the one who yelled at you to stop… He was the one who opened the gate… Who patched me up… Bill was the one who gave you clothes… And made you food… Gave me what little medicine they had…

You remember that day clearly. You were 17 then and now 7 years later, here you were adopted by two of the most kindest people you knew. You couldn’t have asked for anything more in this world, apocalyptic or not.

You decided to slip on your best dress, a white summer dress with yellow daises embroidered on it. Frank and you had picked it out at the boutique the day after they told you that you could officially stay with them.

You also slid on your favorite worn out yellow sneakers. Even after a few years they were still good. Before you left your room, you hid a small knife that Bill gave you, under your dress. You knew that you couldn’t be too trusting as Bill would say. You left your room after that and headed downstairs to find the front door wide open and Frank dragging out a table.

“Frank!” You called out to him with a laugh, “You were supposed to wait for me.” You said as you quickly rushed outside to help him.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous.” He scratched the back of his head, “It’s been a while since we’ve had guests.”

You gave him a soft smile at seeing him so nervous, “It’s okay Frank, just make sure you let me help you.”

Bill was already in the kitchen cooking lunch by the time the both of you headed back inside.

“It smells wonderful Bill!” Frank leaned over to give him a quick peck on the lips before washing his hands.

Bill had a blush that only Frank could bring out as he muttered, “It’s nothing.”

“More than nothing, I’m starving.” You said reaching over to sneak a bite when suddenly Frank’s light tap on your hand had you pulling back.

“Don’t even think about it sweetie.” He scolded lightly before grabbing the lemonade pitcher out from the bottom cabinet, “They should be here soon. Can you be a dear and fetch me some lemons so we can make some lemonade for our guests?”

You nodded your head, “Sure.” You proceeded to grab a small basket on the counter, “But I expect to be having a feast when I get back.” You gave your stomach two pats to make your point clear.

This had both men chuckling. Bill shook his head while Frank shushed you out the door.

“Of course. Of course. Now go get some lemons.” Frank laughed.

You walked out towards the back where the garden was. It a short distance, but you took my time finding the lemon tree so to nerves.

What if they were mean? Or violent? Or they lied and now a group of raiders were going to show up and kill us?

Plenty of unwanted thoughts filtered through your mind, but one raised above all the others. Just please don’t let my dad’s get hurt.

You had finally made it to the tree when Frank pulled out the driveway.

They must be here. You thought before turning your focus back to the tree. There were only three lemons that you were able to reach, standing on your tippy toes.

“That’s not going to be enough.” You muttered to myself.

Most of them were higher up just begging to be ripped off of the branch. You huffed as you set the basket down and looked around for the small wooden bucket.

“Where did Frank… Ah there it is.” You smiled triumphantly.

It was tipped over on the ground, hidden behind the tree and blending in with the soil. You bent down to grab it and placed it face down on the ground. You were feeling proud of yourself as you stood up on top the bucket to reach a few more lemons.

All seemed to be going well until the last lemon you needed was just a little out of your reach. Instead of just moving the bucket though, you decided that you would just teeter on the edge and grab the last lemon that you needed… Until you did grab it, but ended up teetering on the edge.

“Whoa!” You cried out at the unsteady bucket.

You tried to balance yourself and almost succeeded until the bucket wobbled once again. At that you expected your fate and was ready to feel the hard ground beneath you when suddenly…

You didn’t fall… Not really. Gravity seemed to be on your side or at least two arms were as the held you.

You took a breath of relief looking up and expecting to see Bill.

“Thank-” Your gratitude was cut short as you stared wide eyed at a man you have never seen before.

Is he just my imagination or did a Prince really just sweep me off my feet…

“You’re welcome.” He stated gruffly as he gently set me on my feet.

“You…” Your voice trailed off as you stared up at him, his face calm as he waited for an answer.

My word was he some kind of handsome dressed in sunlight.

You cleared my throat and quickly straightened out your dress. You tried your best to calm your nerves and the growing blush on your cheeks, “You must be the guest Frank invited.”

“I must be.” He answered shortly.

I can see he has Bill’s wonderful conversation skills.

“Well.” You nodded as you shyly looked away, “Thank you…”

“Joel. Joel Miller.” He introduced himself.

“Thank you Joel for saving me.” You replied before introducing yourself as well.

“Beautiful name.” He complimented, a small smile appearing on his face as he watched your cheeks grow even redder.

“Thank… Thank you.” You couldn’t look away from his eyes.

It seemed as if his big brown eyes stared into your soul as his tan skin looked like honey against the sun.

He nodded his head, “Anytime darling.”

You picked up the basket of lemons, “These were for you anyways so I suppose you saved your drink as well.” You laughed lightly.

“Lemonade?” He implied as you began walking towards the house with him following in suit.

“Plum juice actually.” You stated seriously as you tried your best at a the poker face Bill has been trying to teach you.

However, the grimace on his face made you laugh, “I’m joking. It’s lemonade.” You said, easing his worry.

“Real funny sweetheart.” The curl of his lip didn’t make him seem cocky or bullheaded. He looked amused, a spark shining in his coffee eyes, “You need anymore help?” He asked as his gaze softened.

That look left you a blubbery mess, “Oh no. That was all thank you. I better go and find a glass-no a pitcher to put the lemons in. Of course not just lemons! But the lemonade you make from lemons? Yeah… Anyways! Yes! Um.. Yes.” You quickly took a few steps back before rushing inside.

You don’t think your flushed cheeks will ever return to normal again as you heard his honey silk chuckle at your reaction. You placed one of your hands over your chest to at least try and attempt to calm your racing heart.

Oh boy… Just what did I get myself into? But his eyes and how warm his hands were when he…

What was I doing? Right. Lemonade.

#pedro pascal #pedro is daddy #pedro x reader #zaddy pedro #pedrostories #joel miller x y/n #joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x you #dbf joel miller #older men <3 #joel x reader #joel the last of us #pedroispunk

172 notes · View notes

lionlena · 1 year ago

Text

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 2

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart… She runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58), strong language, swearing, past trauma, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v, dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking

Part 2

When you got home you were one big bundle of nerves. Your whole body was paralyzed with fear. You were in a cold sweat, you had difficulty catching your breath and you couldn't stop your tears. It was as if all the bad moments came back to you in an instant. Every loss, every pain, and fear. You managed to get into the shower and turned on the water, not caring that you were still wearing your clothes. You sat in the corner and cried.

Luckily, Teddy was with Claudia, so you don't had to worry about him.

(flashback)

Traveling through wilderness, forests and abandoned cities was the disaster you expected. After only 6 months, of the group of ten people who left Boston, only you and Claudia remained. The rest died, either killed by a clicker, or in a trap set by other people, or from disease.

You and your friend were barely holding on either, though the journey had hardened you. But you had one more reason to fight for survival.

At first, you didn't worry about the lack of your period. You put it down to stress, small portions of food, and effort. But then your stomach started more chubby. Added to this was nausea and frequent fatigue, and when, 5 months after leaving Boston, you felt a kick inside you, you were sure.

That bastard left you not only with a shattered heart but a little piece of himself nestled in your womb.

But the strangest thing was that you didn't hate your child. Yes, YOURS. Only yours. You never thought otherwise. Joel's baby? Fuck no.

Your body fought every day for this little one's life. It was your determination that somehow prevented you from having a miscarriage.

You promised yourself that if you made it to the birth, you would give your child the love of the whole world. You will never look at your little one as a "mistake". You knew all too well the pain of being rejected.

Unfortunately, after 6 months, you and Claudia reached the "wall". Winter was approaching, you were exhausted and suddenly found yourself in mortal danger.

You have entered the territory of a people who hated intruders.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you?" snapped the woman who seemed to be the leader of the group.

You got up from your knees, put your hand on your belly, and decided to bet everything on one card.

"We don't want to be a problem. We're just looking for shelter because…" Claudia looked at you worriedly. Only a month earlier you told her about the baby. "I'm pregnant."

The woman looked at you sternly. "And you decided to risk that child's life and go on a journey."

You swallowed and replied. "I got pregnant the day before I left Boston. I couldn't have known."

"And father?"

"He's an asshole who thought a night with me was a mistake."

The woman jumped off her horse, walked over to you, and put her hand on your shoulder. "We'll help you."

Since then, Maria has always had a soft spot for you.

Suddenly you shook yourself. You couldn't just sit in the shower and cry. You had to fight for your son. Like you fought for him when he was in your belly.

You changed into dry clothes, prepared a meal for Teddy, and left a message for Claudia.

"I need to talk to Maria urgently. Please stay with Teddy. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Joel rubbed his cheek and entered the house. You didn't hurt him, but he was angry with you. What was wrong with you? He remembered how you fawned over him in Boston. You brought him cookies, you smiled at him and you were always close. Of course, the way he treated you in the morning, after the night together wasn't something he was proud of. But he hoped you'd understand. He was drunk, you were willing.

He decided to just avoid you. Apparently, you were still a child who couldn't control his anger.

You found Maria in the cinema hall. You pulled her aside and asked to talk. She immediately noticed your puffy eyes.

"What happened?"

"Throw Joel out of here?"

"What?" She looked at you shocked. "You know, I'm not too fond of him, but Tommy says he's changed."

You grabbed her hand. "People like him don't change. He's an asshole... He's..."

"Y/N, understand me. As long as he doesn't do anything wrong, I can't kick him out."

You bit your lip and decided to grab your last chance. "Please, it's for Teddy's safety."

Maria raised her eyebrows. You were still in the cinema hall and some kids just started laughing.

"Let's go to my office."

You nodded your head and followed her. During your conversation, you didn't notice that Ellie was standing behind the pillar and she heard your whole conversation.

Ellie burst into the house shouting, "Joel!"

He came out of the kitchen and asked, "What happened?"

He could see that the girl was nervous, and that automatically alarmed him.

"That bitch, who lives next to us, wants to kick you out."

At first, he wanted to scold her for what she called you, but the second part of the sentence caught his attention too much.

"What are you talking about?"

Ellie repeated your entire conversation to him, and he grew angrier with every word. You crossed the line and he wasn't going to forgive you. And he had no idea who was Teddy you mentioned.

Finally, he put his hands on Ellie's shoulders and said, "Relax. After dinner, I'll go over to her and explain everything. If that doesn't help, I'll talk to Tommy. In Boston, she was in love with me and now she's getting revenge for me staying with Tess."

You came home with a heavy heart. You told Maria everything in detail. She stated that she hates Joel, but it's still his past, and she promised Tommy that she wouldn't punish Joel for his past sins.

You were devastated, but you understood her at the same time. When you got home you were greeted by Claudia. She looked at you worried. You didn't have to tell her anything. She spoke first.

"Teddy is already asleep."

You looked at her gratefully and wanted to cry. Sometimes you felt like you didn't deserve a friend like her.

"Thank you."

She nodded and grabbed her jacket. "Drink something strong and try to forget this dick lives next to you."

You sighed and fell onto the couch. "This will be difficult."

"At least try!" she screamed before closing the door behind her.

When a few minutes later you heard a knock, you were sure that Claudia forgot something. You opened the door without hesitation and paled at the sight of Joel's angry face.

"What the fuck are you thinking?!" Joel stepped inside and you stepped back. "I know you were talking to Maria! You must be acting like some little bitch who didn't get enough dick! You went to bed with me knowing I was in a relationship with Tess! What did you expect?! That I'd give you a plastic ring the next day and we will play family?!"

You were so shocked that instead of shoving him out and slamming the door shut, you just stood there and cringed. And suddenly a tiny voice behind you made Joel shut up, and you took a deep breath.

"Mommy?"

You quickly wiped your tears away before turning to him. Your son was standing in only pajamas. He was hugging a teddy bear to his chest. You could see that he was scared. That asshole's screams must have woken him up. You smiled at him and knelt in front of him, completely ignoring Joel's presence.

"Teddy, baby, what happened?"

The little boy sniffled and asked, "Why is this man shouting? Will he hurt you?"

You ran your hand through his brown curls and shook your head.

"This man... He's just talking too loud. I soon finish talking to him and I'll come over to hug you." Teddy didn't look convinced so you added, "And I'll bring you some warm milk with honey."

The toddler nodded and you kissed his cheek and waited for him to leave.

All the while, Joel stood silently, staring at the boy. He looked like a little copy of him, and for a second he wondered if he was his father, but dismissed it. He didn't know what happened to you when you left Boston. Anyone could be the boy's father.

You regained your confidence. You quickly got up and walked over to Joel, pushing him towards the exit.

"Listen to me, asshole," you hissed, but not loud enough, so Teddy can hear you again. "Yes, I talked to Maria because you're not a good person. For God's sake, Joel, you know it. You've done terrible things and you will continue to do them. Look at you. You come in here and yell at me. You call me a bitch and…" You took a deep breath and rubbed your temples. "You don't think you've done anything wrong to me? Hmm? So think about it, would you like someone to treat that young girl, who is under your care, in the same way as you treated me?"

"Don't bring Ellie into this," he growled.

"I won't if you stay away from me and my son."

"Okay," he muttered, and without further delay, he turned and walked away.

As you closed the door, you felt your legs shake, but you couldn't break down. Your son needed you.

As soon as he entered the house, Ellie immediately asked him: "Did you show that bitch where she belongs?"

"Don't call her that," he muttered.

The girl seemed clearly surprised. "Why?"

"Because I'm asking you to."

"As you wish," she replied and shrugged. "But what's next?"

He sighed heavily and held the bridge of his nose. "Just avoid her. She won't cause us any trouble if we don't cause her trouble."

"Okay," she moaned dramatically. "You softened, Joel."

He smiled and shook his head. "Possible."

Joel's problem was that avoiding you wasn't easy at all. By some coincidence, you two always left the house at the same time, even if you changed your hours. You passed each other in the stable and in the dining room. You always looked away and pursed your lips.

You hated it, but over time you just tried to accept it.

The most important thing was that you somehow managed to keep your sweet son away from that monster.

Joel was moody as he entered the stables. He was on patrol with Barbara again and... To put it mildly, he hated her. The woman was about forty years old, a tall, slim blonde with a mouth that wouldn't close. She was gossiping about everyone and worst of all, he noticed that she was trying to hit on him. Every chance she had, she touched his knee, shoulder, side... He always shuddered at it and wanted to growl at her to fuck off.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the running boy, who hit his legs and fell on his bum. Joel immediately noticed tears gathering in his big brown eyes.

"Shit" he muttered under his breath and nervously looked around searching for "mother bear". You weren't anywhere around, so he knelt down beside the boy and offered his hand. He stroked the child's head. "Sorry Teddy, I didn't notice you... You're faster than a horse."

The baby boy looked at him surprised and with his help got up. "Really?"

Joel smiled. He didn't want the boy to cry. He had to comfort him somehow. "Sure! Fast as lightning. You're a fast little pony."

The little boy chuckled, his curls falling over his forehead. "Mommy always says I'll lose my legs if I run that fast."

"Hmm, interesting," he said and began to gently brush sand off the boy's pants. "What else does your mom say?"

Teddy grabbed his shirt. "That I should not talk to you."

"Teddy!" The boy immediately turned to your voice. "I was looking for you."

Your heart started beating faster when you noticed who was kneeling next to your son. You reached out your hand towards the child, wanting to get him away from this asshole as soon as possible. Your son waved to Joel and ran over to you.

You wanted to scold your son, but... He was so sweet and innocent. You couldn't blame him for being curious and open-minded like any child.

Joel slowly stood up and breathed a sigh of relief. He was afraid you'd make a fuss, but apparently, the presence of a child had a calming effect on you.

But throughout the patrol, he couldn't get the image of Teddy out of his head. He didn't listen to Barbara's chatter at all and suddenly asked, "What do you know about Y/N who lives next to me?"

The woman was clearly surprised that after such a long silence, he spoke to her. She furrowed her brow and smiled wickedly. "I think she's too young for you."

Joel winced. He didn't want to play in this game, but he wanted information. "Are you implying I'm old?" he asked resentfully.

The woman was clearly flustered. "No, I don't. That's not what I meant... It's just... Y/N has a mean personality and tends to stay away from men."

"And yet she has a child."

Barbara nodded. "Yeah, but she was already pregnant when she got here. Apparently, the father is someone from Boston."

Joel pretended with all his might that the news was not like a bucket of cold water for him. As if casually he said. "What kind of guy goes on a travel with his pregnant partner?"

"He didn't seem to know about the pregnancy. Y/N said she got pregnant the day before she left Boston, and the kid's father was an asshole."

Joel gripped the reins tighter and swallowed. "Really?" croaked.

Luckily for him, Barbara was so engrossed in talking about you that she didn't notice his nervousness. "I'm sure on 100%. I was on patrol at the time that we found her and that friend of hers. But I don't know if she was telling the truth. Maria was also pissed at her for risking pregnancy, so maybe she said that to calm her down. But I'm telling you, leave her alone, the city is full of better women."

She winked at him, but he no longer looked at her or listened. He was lost in his thoughts and wanted to talk to you as soon as possible. He had to know the truth, and he didn't know whether he'd be relieved or sad if Teddy wasn't his child. And if it turns out that he has a son ... Another child to lose.

You had already put your son to bed when you heard a knock on the door. You felt nauseous when you saw Joel. You tried to control your nerves and hissed, "Are you here to scare my baby again?"

"Just tell me, did Teddy is my son?"

You frozen. You felt as if all the oxygen had escaped from your lungs and you were to suffocate. You stared at him and remained silent. You knew the longer it went on, the more you convinced him of paternity. You finally cleared your throat and managed to choke out, "No..." Joel felt a mixture of relief and sadness, but just as he was about to ask another question, you added. "You're not his father. You're just a sperm donor."

He looked at you sadly and tried to find some words: "I…"

You saw how sensitive he was at that moment and decided to hit even harder. "Do you remember, Joel, I was just a hole you filled with cum. No feelings. Let it be. You don't have any feelings for Teddy. He's my son, only mine. To you, he was just a mistake."

Joel never thought that the words he said to you back then would come back to him and hit him with such force. He didn't even know what to say and just waited to see what you would do next.

"Now, to quote you, fuck off before Teddy wakes up."

And then you just closed the door in his face anyway and smiled. You didn't even care if Joel stayed at your door all night like a homeless mongrel.

You've never felt so satisfied in your life.

Part 1

Part 3

Taglist: @ajeff855, @anislabonis-love, @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi, @i-workwithpens, @milla-frenchy, @quality-lust @liatome @sarahhxx03 @creedslove @jojo-munson @pascalislove @sofiparallel

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller and you #dom!joel miller #joel is asshole #hurt #sadness #angst #Ellie Williams #joel and ellie #the last of us #tlou fanfiction

392 notes · View notes

jobean12-blog · 11 months ago

Text

Helping Hands

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word Count: 704

Summary: Joel's working on fixing something that you'll love but as soon as you come to see what it is he gets distracted...in the best way.

Author's Note: This is just 700 words of pure indulgence because these small moments are everything for me and if I had Joel I wouldn't want his hands anywhere but on me all the time and I love when two people just can't get enough of each other and just the smallest touch is everything. Anyway hehe thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy!🥰

Warnings: Soft and sweet fluffy fluff

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

“What are you working on?”

Joel’s head whips up at the sound of your voice and he blinks, clearly pulled from concentration.

“What’s that darlin’?” he asks, his attention now completely focused on you.

His gaze wanders slowly down your body and he leans back in the chair, smoothing his large hands over his spread thighs.

With a gentle smile you walk to the table and lean your hip against the edge.

“I was wondering what you were up to.”

“Oh,” he says with a lopsided smile. “I found this old record player and I was going to try to get it to work again but it’s a mess.”

Your face brightens at the thought of hearing music.

“I know,” he says with understanding. “I’ll do my best.”

You lean in and kiss his scruffy cheek and with your lips still pressed to his skin he turns his head and finds your mouth, whispering softly, “wanna help?”

“Me?” you ask as you pull away slightly. “Are you sure? I have no idea how to use tools or anything.”

Laugh lines appear around his eyes and then he pats his big, thick thigh.

“Get over here.”

You drag your teeth over your bottom lip and move around him to climb onto his thigh. You can feel the rough material of his jeans on your skin and every flex of his muscle.

With a shaky inhale you scoot back and get comfortable.

He wraps his left arm around your waist and secures you against his chest.

“Ok hold this,” he instructs before pointing to the needle on the record player.

He then grabs the screw driver and begins unscrewing something with his right hand. When it pops off he sets it down and studies the machine.

“Hmm…” he muses. “We might need parts…good thing I have this old thing.”

He leans forward to grab the old radio on the table. The warmth and weight of his body is so welcoming that you let out a contented sigh and snuggle closer.

“Where did you get that?” you ask, turning your head to find him only a breath away, his dark brown eyes trained on your mouth.

The arm wrapped around your belly flexes and his large hand splays along your skin.

“Don’t you dare look at me like that,” you murmur. “I want this thing fixed.”

“Thought that’s what we were doin’ angel,” he smirks.

“If you keep this up it’ll never get fixed.”

“Keep what up?” he asks with feigned innocence even as his hand slowly slides along the curve of your body.

You melt against him as warmth spreads across your skin.

“Joel,” you breathe out.

“It’ll get fixed darlin’…but it’s hard to concentrate now.”

“Well that’s your fault,” you whisper. “You asked for help.”

His calloused fingertips ghost over your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and then find your neck, trailing along the delicate skin until he’s pressing them under your chin and tilting your face closer.

“Joel,” you hum with one last weak attempted warning as your eyelids flutter closed.

“Hm?” he grunts as he brushes his lips to yours.

“Thought you wanted help.”

He pulls back and traces his thumb over your lips.

“This is helping.”

His hand slides to the back of your neck and wraps around it before he tugs you down to his mouth.

Your own hand smooths up and over his chest and your fingers curl into his hair, giving it a sharp tug.

“Angel,” he growls.

He stands in one swift motion and takes you with him, gently letting you slide down his body until your feet hit the ground, his mouth still on yours.

With sure steps he walks you backward toward the wall and pins you there with his large frame.

You let out a moan of his name and reach your fingers under his shirt to feel his skin.

He rests his hands on either side of your face, sweeping his thumbs softly over your closed eyes.

“I promise,” he starts on a murmur before kissing the corner of your mouth. “I’ll get it fixed.”

His lips are just a breath away, his nose lightly brushing yours…” just need you first darlin.’ Please.”

@lorilane33 @hiddles-rose @littleseasiren @kmc1989 @blackwidownat2814

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us

539 notes · View notes

sinpathyforthedevilish · 1 year ago

Text

seeing you tonight... a bad idea right?

Word count: 675

Pairing: Joel Miller x (female) reader

Genre: Suggestive, fluff, mention of sexual content

Summary: Joel and you meet in a party. And everything loses control. Actor!au Joel x Model!au reader.

Inspired of course by Olivia Rodrigo's new album GUTS

You knew... you knew the moment you crossed his stare, you would be over. You knew he was addictive . You knew his touch was fire and his lips were your lust. But god, what would you do to have one more night with him, one more moment, one more kiss.

You tought all of this while you walked around the party with your high heels and your short dress. He was standing just across the room, wearing a jacket that accentuated his body and holding a drink. His hair was messy and he was smiling kind of flirty with a couple of people. That son of a bitch, who does he think he is?

You knew perfectly who he was behind all of this. He was a simple man who would get crazy if you come close to him. He would beg like a pathetic man for you to touch him, to kiss him, to fuck him. You knew the power of your lips, of your smile, you literally have him at your knees.

But what is more ironic, is that he also has you at his knees, well, he did have you on his knees before. You would also do anything for him, you are so crazy for him that you have become an insane woman who craves for his love all the time.

On the other side of the room, there he was, tracking every step you made. Even though he wasn't looking at you, he could feel your presence all over him. You were like a snake, sliding around his body and suffocating him with your beauty.

From the corner of his eye, he could see how you sensually moved your hips and how you hair flamed brightly. Oh, what he would do to pull your hair and warn you against your ear that if you don't behave well, he would fuck you right there in the middle of the room.

He knew you weren't a saint. You were actually a demon who played with him whenever you wanted. You are an angel disguised. And you are so fucking perfect he has never seen such a beautiful woman before.

You were tired of all this little game so you did what you had to do. You approached where he was and the other guests. You were such a little brat.

"Hey guys! mind if I join the chat?" You innocently smile, taking a drink from the waiter and drinking while staring at Joel.

His pupils were like a black hole, digging into your soul. God, you were screwed.

"Hi! We were just talking about how amazing Joel was! His role in this movie was sublime! what do you think?" The woman next to him asked you. Joel was surprisingly expecting your answer.

"I think he was absolutley wonderful. He flashed some hearts in the audience," You smirked at him.

He swore his heart would burst in flames. But the only reaction he could make was coughing and fixing his collar. "I'm sorry I- excuse me one moment-" He turned around and headed to the hallway, where the bathroom was.

You waited a couple of minutes later and joined him to the bathroom. However, you weren't able to open the door because one strong arm grabbed your elbow pulled you inside and against the wall.

"You goddamn brat," Joel whispered in your lips before cupping roughly your face and crashing violently his lips against yours. You moaned pathetically as you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Looking like a goddess with that short dress thinking I wouldn't notice?" He peppered kisses against your neck while holding you jaw.

"Mmm you liked it? I wore it just for you" You nuzzled against his skin.

"Fucking loved it, fucking love everything that you wear," he moaned against your cleavage, feeling how you pulled his soft hair.

You jumped in his arms, wrapping your legs around him. "Fuck Joel, just take me I can't anymore," You sighed in his cheek.

"I will mi amor, I will."

#pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #joel miller smut #I have no idea what is this #really #joel miller

179 notes · View notes

kkcauseway · 7 months ago

Text

It's happening!

Husband Joel Miller & Wife F!reader.

Summary: Joel has a dream that you're pregnant. You've been trying for a while, is this it? Warnings/content: soft Joel, slight touching on infertility- sensitive subject. Lotta fluff. High emotions. Positive pregnancy test. No outbreak, no use of Y/N. A/N: This really is just short and sweet.🫶🏻

Main masterlist I Pregnancy fics

“You ready f’this?” He questions nervously.

“Nope” you spit out popping the p, “are you?” You chuckle.

“In no way shape or form” he chuckles back “ugh why do these damn things take so long s’torture!"

It started with one, then two and now three dots blink back at you in a way you can only describe as literal torture. As you await the verdict.

“Longest three minutes ever huh? It’s probably gonna be negative again anyways” you sigh.

“S’not baby, this is happenin’ trust me v’got a feelin’.” He hates how deflated it makes you feel every time you turn the test over and see the one line or the word negative. Yet something about it all seems different this time.

“Ugh I hate this!” You moan flipping the test upside down before turning to hug into his chest.

He holds you tight as you listen in tune to his heartbeat, his soft breathing calms you quickly.

It’s the same every month, you’ve been trying for just over a year and each time you pray. The second your period is slightly late you gain hope, you’ve been testing religiously, but it’s always negative. So, when Joel woke up this morning saying he’d dreamt you were pregnant you took it as a sign to take one. You aren’t due on for another few days, so it seemed a waste, but something ignited within you. A small glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe it’s going to happen this time? The circumstances are different.

“We got this baby, no matter what happens” he keeps your body close to his. He’s your safe space, where you feel most at ease, your emotions get on top of you easily, but Joel is the best person to help you return to normality. He keeps you grounded. Keeps you sane.

“I know, and I’m so grateful for you.”

“I love you, more than you’ll ever know” he kisses the top of your head.

“I love you too” you mumble.

You embrace in silence for a moment before you decide to turn back and check. Joel has his arms firm around your waist, and you can feel his heartbeat coordinated with your own as you huff out a long breath shakily reaching out for the test.

Turning the test over, you let out a staggered breath. You both stare down at the small piece of plastic in front of you in awe. Reading the word over and over and over again.

Positive.

ITS POSITIVE!

“Holy fuck” Joel whispers.

“Pos- I- it’s positive! Joel… it’s really positive!”

“Oh. My. God!” He laughs wetly.

You throw the test into the sink and jump into his arms holding each other close as you bask in the excitement that it’s really actually FINALLY happening. Your head in his neck as you weep.

After a minute you pull away to look him in the eye “thank you” you move to kiss his lips. “Thank you so much” you kiss him again before looking into his eyes “OH MY GOD, we’re gonna have a baby!”

“Why are you thankin’ me baby? Was a very very fun joint effort.” He chuckles as he kisses your lips once more cupping your cheeks.

“Because you’re just so amazing and you’ve been so patient with me” he chuckles moving his hands to slot into your back jean pockets as you continue “some people fall pregnant right away it’s took us over a year. I was beginning to feel as though my body just couldn’t. That my body would just fail us again and again” your voice breaks.

“Baby” he leans his forehead against yours as you both take a deep breath “never, ever talk bad about yourself like that. Everythin’ happens for a reason and it’s happenin’ now… it’s meant to be now!”

“Gahhh we’re having a baby!” You can’t help the happy tears that begin streaming down your face.

“Yeah, baby we are!” You both chuckle before Joel pushes your body slightly away to place a large palm against your stomach. He strokes gently as you place a hand atop his.

“Our baby” he whispers.

#the last of us #joel miller #pregnancy #angst #so much family fluff #fluff #pregnancy test #positive #no outbreak!joel miller

46 notes · View notes

beardedjoel · 1 year ago

Text

closer | part fourteen

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3

chapter summary: a run-in at the local bar almost ends in disaster, but luckily joel knows just how to make it better afterwards. 10k words.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, posessive!joel, vibrator usage, unprotected piv, dirty dirtttty talk, praise kink, cockwarming for two (2) minutes exactly, orgasm denial, insecure idiots who help each other, consumption of alcohol (both reader and joel), reader is threatened (not by joel), reader’s outfit is described (black dress and sneakers).

You chew on the end of your pen, tapping your fingers on your desk impatiently before reaching back down to your keyboard and typing, releasing a little sigh.

“Somethin’ wrong?” Joel calls from the bathroom. He’s been working on retiling the shower in your bathroom at your parents’ request all morning, and you’re keeping him company while getting some work done.

“Just this… desk. It’s so small,” you gripe, hovering your hands over it in frustration at the amount of things you have laid out on it that simply don’t fit. Along with your laptop, you have notebooks, office supplies, your planner, and a few knick knacks spread onto the small surface. If you have your laptop out, everything else feels so cramped and it’s starting to grind on your frayed nerves. You’re getting increasingly more anxious about starting this job full time, hoping you can live up to whatever expectations they have of you to hire someone straight out of school for a relatively important job.

“I see that,” Joel says, smiling a little to himself at how cute you look when you’re mildly frustrated like this as he takes a few moments to watch you. “I’ll make ya a new one,” he says casually, as if he’s commenting on the weather. Your eyebrows fly together in confusion, and you swivel in your chair to look towards him in the bathroom.

“M-make me a desk? What?” you ask him, blinking a few times. There’s no way you heard him correctly.

“Yeah, darlin’.”

“A whole desk?”

“Yes, what aren’t we gettin’ here?” he asks, standing and leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom, looking at you. The sight makes your knees want to wobble, and you’re already sitting down. “I like woodworkin’. Pretty good at it too,” he tells you with a modest shrug.

You gape your mouth open a little, processing his offer. “No Joel, I don’t think I can let you do all that for me.”

“And why not?”

“That’s too much, okay?”

“C’mon, darlin’. For your new place when you get it,” he pleads, a hopeful look on his face.

You press your lips together, bite your lip quickly and find yourself lost in his dark eyes, looking at you with ease and expectation. “Fine,” you say, crossing your arms. You don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it feels like so much work to let him do for you, even if he does enjoy woodworking as a hobby.

“Oh, ‘fine’? You’re too much, girl.” Joel shakes his head and starts taking steps closer to you. “Ain’t gonna say ‘thank you Joel’, ‘you’re the best, Joel’?” he says as he stands above your chair, grasping the back of your head and leaning down, his lips hovering right above yours.

“Thank you, Joel,” you say quietly, and he smirks, his lips pressing onto yours for a long moment. “You’re the best, Joel,” you add on with a smile of your own.

“Good girl. You’ll love it,” he concludes about the desk, stepping back and heading over to the bathroom again, where you hear him start to work on pulling tiles off once more.

You turn back to your computer, sorting through some emails - from your new coworkers, department, bosses. There is an energetic buzz to all of them, everyone excited to finally be hitting the ground running with the company and opening up the office. One particular one catches your eye from the CEO of the company, inviting everybody to a mixer coming up in a few days for everyone to begin meeting in person and get to know each other. People will be slowly moving into the office as early as next week, you remember, so it’s probably a good idea to have everyone start to get on good terms with each other.

“There’s a mixer thing happening soon for my work, so people can meet,” you announce out loud to Joel, who gives an attentive hum in response.

“Sounds fun. You gonna go?” he asks as he works.

“Maybe…” you trail off, suddenly feeling nervous at the prospect. You stand up and walk over to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway and watching Joel work. “Seems like it could be a lot of people,” you say, nervously fiddling your hands.

“Well, you’re gonna be workin’ with those people, right? Gonna have to meet them sometime,” Joel says casually, not taking his eyes off the tile wall he’s working on.

“Very true,” you sigh, stepping a bit closer to him. “I just want to make a good impression.”

Joel shoots you an incredulous look. “I’d say it’s impossible for you to not make a good impression.”

“I don’t know about all of that,” you say with a chuckle.

“Worked on me,” Joel replies with a smug grin.

“I was a total mess when we met, and still am most of the time,” you say.

Joel shrugs again. “I liked it,” he says simply. “Don’t worry, darlin’, you’ll be just fine. People will like you, I promise,” he adds on more reassuringly. You give him a small, tight lipped smile, still feeling nervous, but appreciative of his words.

Watching him work has been a slippery slope for you. It’s enough to just feel his presence in the other room while he’s been doing work on your parents house, but to watch him is something else entirely. He’s wearing a plain white undershirt and light wash jeans, worn with age and construction sites. There’s always a bead of sweat glistening somewhere on him when he’s hard at work, and you get to see his muscles strain and pop as he angles himself in all different kinds of ways. It’s mesmerizing, and you can hardly stand to stay and watch him for very long before feeling a bit too worked up.

You close the gap between you two before placing your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffens before quickly melting into the touch as you start kneading lightly.

“Sweet girl…” he coos quietly, trying to continue prying tiles off of the wall despite the major distraction you’re imposing.

“You work too hard,” you tell him, deepening your massaging of his shoulders a bit. Joel groans in pleasure as your hands work his shoulders. He’s learned that the simplest touch from you can set him off completely, and then he can think of nothing other than getting you naked and moaning in one way or another.

“Baby…” he says, taking a breath. “Gotta get this work done.”

“It’s my bathroom, I don’t care,” you say alluringly in a half whisper, wrapping your arms around his chest.

“Your parents’ll think I’m a delinquent if I don’t make any progress on this,” he says jokingly, a little twinkle in his eye.

“Aren’t you one, though? Fucking their daughter in secret, making her come every chance you get?” You lean down and kiss his neck, and he groans out through gritted teeth.

“God, so fuckin’ needy, baby. Bet you’re already wet aren’t ya?” Joel breathes out, evidently already losing control.

“So wet… fucking soaked, and I need you,” you whimper near his ear, and you can see him warring with himself on what to do next as he shuts his eyes with a long exhale.

“Stop it, sweetheart,” he finally says sternly, his eyes flying back open. “Be a good girl and control yourself while I finish what I gotta do in here.”

You twist your lips to the side and pout lightly, giving him a final peck on the neck and pulling back. You understand where he’s coming from, but it doesn’t mean the rejection doesn’t sting a little. You really have a love/hate relationship with how god damned horny Joel makes you all the time.

He’d fucked you on his quick break up here yesterday, leaving you still panting in your bed before he headed back to work, so you thought today could have a similar outcome. You don’t want to be a distraction and upset him, though, so you slink out of the room and head back over to your pitifully small, cramped desk and try to focus on work. You hear Joel aggressively pulling tiles, a few frustrated sighs escaping him. Not even a few minutes later, his voice calls out.

“Go to your drawer and get yourself a toy,” he says simply, and you stiffen in your chair before standing up.

“Uh, okay…” you say hesitantly, rushing over to your nightstand and opening the drawer. You pick a vibrator with a large head, feeling like you need the extra power right now.

“Come over to the doorway,” Joel says as his next command, and you blindly follow. As you stand anxiously peering at him, he throws you a glance and then a small smirk as you hold your vibrator, awaiting his next words with spellbound eyes.

“Get yourself naked, darlin’, and lay down right there where I can see you.” His eyes motion to the ground right where the main room meets the bathroom, a perfect angle for him as he works next to the bathtub.

You gulp, anticipation overtaking you as you pull down your shorts and underwear clumsily before tearing your shirt over your head and getting down on the ground. You lay with your legs open, dripping pussy on full display to him. He sighs painfully as he sees it - swollen, throbbing, and ready for him. He wants nothing more than to rush over and bury his cock in it, but for some reason he’s feeling the shame today of needing to get this job done for your parents. Maybe it’s his way of making it up to them for secretly fucking their innocent little daughter and turning you into such a cock obsessed fiend. The thought alone sends another twitch into Joel’s pants, his jeans tightening.

“Okay, baby, let me see you come for me, I’m gonna keep workin’, but come as many times as you can with your little toy. I’ll be right here, listenin’ and watchin’ every bit.”

You lick your lips, and lay back, not completely satisfied with this arrangement but you’ll take what you can get. He can always make it up to you later, you think with a coy turn of your lips.

“Can you… uh,” you start, feeling a bit awkward and self conscious in the harsh lighting of the bathroom that’s spilling out onto your bare body.

“Yes, darlin’… what is it?”

“Maybe say some stuff to get me going?”

Joel chuckles heartily, and you hear the noise of another tile coming off.

“You tellin’ me you need help when your pussy looks so pretty like that already? Fuckin’ drippin’ for me,” he tuts and you feel a slight rush of desire at his words.

“It is, Joel. Just for you. What do you want to do to it?”

“My girl, gettin’ so much more bold with her dirty little mouth,” he says with a smile in his voice. “Wanna stuff you full of my cock, baby, fill you up and fuck you good. Make you scream my name.” Joel ends with a small, husky grunt, and you can tell this is paining him just as much as it is you.

You let out a small moan and turn on the vibrator, moving your hand down between your legs and pressing it against your aching clit. You spill out a sound of relief at the feeling of any stimulation on your pulsing cunt, and push your hips into it.

“Fuck,” you breathe out. Another pop of a tile catches your ears. And another. Somehow your distraction seems to be making Joel work faster.

“God, baby, so pretty right now. My naughty little thing, look how desperate you are for me,” he whimpers, and you hear another tile come off of the wall.

“Fuckin’ d-do anything for your cock,” you cry out, pressing the vibrator harder onto yourself and your legs shake a bit with the oncoming climax. You moan out, hips spasming and writhing as you come, your pussy clenching around nothing, desperately missing Joel’s thickness right now. You breathe heavily, laying back and giving yourself a moment.

“Keep goin,” Joel says casually, scraping at the wall again. You press the vibrator back in place, holding the head of it more lightly to your clit, small moans coming out of you as the pleasure ramps right back up. “You know what happens when you’re a good girl and do as I ask, right?”

“Mhm,” you nod through despondent whimpers. A second orgasm quickly follows the first, and through hooded eyes you can see Joel watching you, writhing on the floor and bucking your hips up into the vibrator as you moan. Your whole body goes limp, and you set your hand to the side of your body with the vibrator, taking a few deep breaths.

“Tell you what,” Joel says, somehow managing to work through all of this despite his cock aching and screaming at him. “If you can make yourself come once more, I’ll give ya what you want.”

You perk up a little despite the pleasure ridden haze you’re in right now. “I-I’ll try,” you push out, doubting it’s even possible right now.

“C’mon baby, by that time I’ll have finished this wall and deserve a break,” he says smugly, and you nod, clicking up the speed on vibrator and bringing it back down. You reach around it with your other hand, burying two fingers inside of yourself and pushing in as far as possible. It’s never the same as when Joel does it, but if you push yourself you can just reach your g-spot.

Yes, you think as the pleasure of finding that spot overwhelms you. You have the head of the vibrator resting just near enough to your clit to give yourself vibration without overwhelming the currently oversensitive nerves.

You moan out strangled cries as you press on your g-spot, and Joel looks on, mesmerized at what a whimpering, moaning mess you are with your hand buried deep inside of yourself.

“F-fuck,” he stammers out, barely able to contain himself. “Christ, baby,” he breathes. In that moment he decides to break his own rule and give you what you want before you complete what he’s asked of you. He can’t take another second of watching you leak all over your own hand instead of his cock.

He sets down his tools, quickly undoing his pants, freeing his throbbing length, and rushes over to you. His hands roughly grab the vibrator, tossing it to the side and he grabs your wrist, your fingers pulling out with the movement. You whimper, the sudden loss of pressure on your g-spot feels devastating, but it’s quickly replaced as Joel positions himself over you and buries his cock inside of you, pushing as deep as he can on the first thrust. You cry out, a loud, strangled noise as he fills you so unexpectedly.

“Oh, Joel, god,” you whine, “You feel so fucking…” you trail off. another moan passing your lips as he pushes into you again and your body adjusts to him.

“Finish the sentence, baby,” he says, thrusting into you again.

“Amazing. You feel perfect,” you manage to stammer out, completely lost in pleasure now.

“My cock fits so perfectly in there, doesn’t it, my perfect girl?” he coos, leaning his body over you to kiss your neck and move his mouth down over your chest.

“Mhm.” You manage to make an affirmative noise, your eyes fluttering closed as you enjoy the rhythmic thrusts of Joel’s cock inside of you as he toys with your nipple with his tongue. This is pure heaven, you’ve decided - you could be happy underneath this man forever. You don’t think it’s possible to belong to anyone else now that you have what he’s given you, and you show it to him now with your body, matching his thrusts with equal vigor, pushing your hips up into him with every one of his movements. Your arms snake around his neck, clinging on and drawing him close as he fucks you into oblivion. You’ve lost track of anything else as his cock angles just right to pick up where you left off on your g-spot, sending you further down the hole of ecstasy you’re falling deeper and deeper into.

“Yes,” you cry out with a whimper, feeling the sweet release of tension quickly approaching in your core. Joel’s arms tuck underneath your knees and bring your legs up higher, and you wrap them around his back, slamming yourself into his hips.

Joel quickly finds release along with you, both of your bodies tensing with the pulses of pleasure as you ride them out together. You moan his name while you feel him coming hard into you, only serving to heighten everything as you feel his warmth spilling into you. He’s buried as deep as he can, up to the hilt, and your cunt squeezes every bit out of him that it can as you continue to spasm around him.

Joel collapses slightly onto you, breathing heavily with his eyes shut. When he opens them and meets your gaze, he smiles before pulling out of you and starting to collect himself. You lay there, a completely undone, sloppy mess because of him, and his smile turns wry at the sight of you below him as he stands.

“Can’t resist ya even when I try,” he says with a small shake of his head.

“You did try,” you say pragmatically. “It’s the thought that counts.” That gets a laugh out of Joel as he runs a hand over his face.

“Christ, baby, what’m I gonna do with you?” he asks, eyes shining with a relaxed haze from his climax. You could answer Joel’s rhetorical questions many ways, but you keep your mouth shut. You stand up off the floor and clean yourself up, getting dressed and letting Joel get back to work.

You bring your laptop over to the entrance to the bathroom, propping it on your lap and sitting your back against the counter in there, just to feel close to him. You two don’t talk much for a while, a few comments here and there while the both of you get your separate work done. Something about it, though, feels perfectly comfortable and natural, and you realize that somehow along the way Joel has become your favorite person to be around.

You two haven’t talked at all about the intimate moment you had on July 4th, but it’s been lingering heavily in your mind for the last few days. You decided that even if your feelings for Joel only seem to keep developing, you just want to try to enjoy these moments with him, be present and not worry about if he feels the exact same way as you. It seemed like there were plenty of unspoken words between the two of you that night, and you feel confident that with time, they’ll manage to work their way out into the open. Patience, you remind yourself, as you glance up at the gorgeous man who by some miracle enjoys spending time with you just as much as you do with him.

A few nights later, It’s the evening of your work mixer, and you’ve debated not going a dozen times, yet here you are, standing in front of the small event center they are hosting it at. You decided to dress relatively casually, putting on a black cotton dress and white sneakers, as it seems like your new company is encouraging a more relaxed work environment.

You stand for a few extra moments, collecting yourself before heading inside. You really do want to meet people from work, but you also want to make a good impression on everyone there since you’ve only communicated via email up until now. Joel has been so supportive over these few days, making sure he tells you over and over just how lovable you are to all of these strangers you haven’t met yet. He offered to be “on call” in case you have some kind of melt down and want to leave early. He said he’d drop whatever he was doing and come pick you up if that was the case. You smile to yourself now as you think back on how intent and serious his eyes had been when he said that, and it gives you a little more courage to step inside the room and face everyone.

The room they’re hosting the mixer in is an open concept with little cocktail tables scattered around and a beautiful, modern bar with warm mood lighting. It feels comfortably cozy, despite the fact that the room has more of an industrial vibe with big columns on the ceiling and cement floors. You immediately head to the bar, scanning the room discreetly as you go, just getting a feel for the atmosphere. They have a wide selection of drinks, so you decide to get a cocktail, something fun and delicious to calm your nerves while you try to start conversations with people.

Everyone you see is wearing a name tag, which was admittedly a great idea to help calm your nerves - this way you’ll know who you’re talking to without any awkwardness. You fill one out for yourself at the bar and slap it on your chest. You spot a young woman, a bit older than you, gorgeous brown curls and olive skin and in a stylish blazer and jeans. You finally get close enough to read the woman’s name tag, spotting the name Rayna Peters, and you smile. She also works in the marketing department, you know, and you’ve spoken a few times through email to bounce ideas back and forth for running the team smoothly together.

“Er, hi,” you say tentatively, clutching onto your glass for dear life. Rayna takes a quick glance at your nametag and breaks out into a huge, warm grin.

“Oh my gosh!” she calls out your name, “So great to meet you.” She extends a hand and you shake it firmly, a smile tugging at your lips now, too.

“You too,” you manage to get out, feeling nervous. “Really cool to meet everyone, isn’t it?” you ask timidly.

“Yeah, this was an awesome idea,” she says, glancing around the room, the epitome of positivity and sunshine. You have a feeling you’ll really enjoy working with Rayna after seeing her personality in the flesh.

“Hey, didn’t you say you moved to Austin for this job in an email when we were introducing ourselves? How are you liking it so far?” she asks you.

“It’s, uh, good so far,” you say, pondering. “I haven’t gotten to do a lot yet, but I bet I’ll explore more when I actually work downtown.” Too busy fucking my incredibly sexy neighbor to really get out much.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve lived here for seven years now, I can tell you all the good spots to go,” she offers, and you��re happy it seems like you’ve made a fast friend, or at least an ally.

“Do you live close by?” you ask, fingers fiddling with your cocktail glass nervously.

“I’m about ten minutes from where our office is, so it worked out perfectly.”

“I still haven’t managed to find an apartment yet,” you tell her, and she cocks her head. “Been starting to look though, so that’s exciting.”

“That’s right, you said you were helping your parents? So you live pretty far out in the burbs,” Rochelle confirms, and you nod.

“Oh! My building has some vacancies, you should totally check it out. It’s a really nice place, and definitely affordable with our pay,” Rayna tells you, beaming at the prospect of you living in the same apartment building as her.

Her words leave you conflicted, debating if you’re really ready to move away from Joel now. You should have known the longer you waited, the worse it would be to not have him right next door to you.

“Yeah, I’ll have you email me the name and I’ll look into it. I guess I’ll want to find something sooner than later when we start working in the office, huh?”

She smiles and nods, then goes to answer when another woman and a man come up to you both. The woman looks to be in her thirties and the man appears closer to your age. They both smile as they introduce themselves despite the name tags - Heather and Cade. They’re part of the marketing team as well, and you instantly recognize their names from emails shot back and forth as well. This is getting a bit overwhelming, but it’s nice to put faces with the names you’ve been hearing.

You run to the restroom a bit later on, finally able to check your phone and see a text from Joel that he’d sent about twenty minutes ago.

Joel: How’s it going baby? Let me know if you need me to come rescue you

You: As much as I’d like that I think I’m making friends

Joel: Proud of you sweetheart. Told you everyone will adore you 😉

You: Talk later?

Joel: Come over if you’re up for it. Taking out the work crew for a few drinks but I’ll be home later on

You: Fun!! Be good 😇

Joel: That’s my line

You smile down at your phone and let out a tight breath, not releasing how much you needed to release a little tension. You step back out and rejoin the small group of coworkers you’d been chatting to, picking up where you all left off. They’re encouraging you to check out the apartment in Rayna's building, saying they all live relatively close by the office as well and it’s going to be a real lifesaver. You feel a small pit growing in your core, though, at the thought. Not even all about being away from Joel, you’ve just grown accustomed to this smaller, simpler lifestyle you’d been living since you moved back here, and you’re worried that downtown might be a larger upheaval than you’re ready for. But you know they’re right, it’ll be good for you to get out, be nearby work, and live on your own.

You meet so many more people from different departments tonight that your head feels like it’s spinning, but maybe that’s just the alcohol, you wonder to yourself. Everyone seems friendly, supportive, and encouraging of each other, and it makes you excited to be entering this new phase of your life, albeit a little sad to officially leave behind your college days and life in Chicago.

A few hours later, it’s getting late by corporate standards, and everyone is starting to trickle out of the event center and head home. You’re ready to call another Uber to take you home to see if Joel is back from his outing yet, but you see he’s texted you again recently.

Joel: Change in plans. come meet me out

You: With everyone from your work? You’re sure?

Joel: You’re too pretty to keep hidden away baby

You: Oooh someone’s tipsy

Joel: If you keep teasing me I’ll smack that pretty little ass in front of everyone here

You: Who says I’m even coming?

Joel: Funny girl, we both know what you’re going to do

You: Head home and go to sleep?

Joel: Think you’re so clever

Joel: Won’t be laughing with my cock shoved in that pretty mouth will you

You gasp slightly, smirking, then take a moment to recover with your smirk quickly fading into a lovesick smile before replying to him. He’s being extra bold through text tonight, he must be a few beers deep at this point.

You: So overdramatic 😉

Joel only responds with the address for the bar he’s at, and you sit and debate for a few moments despite knowing of course you’re meeting him there. This man has the most inexplicable hold on you, and despite your teasing in the texts, there was never really a question in your mind. You need to see him, to feel him, and if he’s asking, you’re not going to say no. So you end up catching an Uber to the location Joel sent you, feeling a nervous flutter at all the possibilities for this night. Is Joel really going to show you off in front of all these people? You honestly aren’t going to complain about getting to spend this time with him unless it was your parents finding out - that you’re not sure you’re ready for just yet.

You open the door to the bar and immediately you can see why they like coming here - it seems relatively low key and easy to unwind together after a long day of work. You think it’s great that Joel spends so much time making sure his employees feel valued by spending this extra time getting to know them, and it’s just another thing about him that makes your heart feel like it’s doing a little flip.

It’s dingy and dark here with cozy lighting and wood surfaces everywhere. You spot Joel sitting at the bar, his back turned to the entrance, and plenty of people who look like they could be his employees scattered around the bar and at nearby tables and booths. Everyone looks to be already having a good time, and you feel completely out of place interrupting them, especially knowing that Joel seems to not care about keeping you a secret tonight. You blow out a breath and clutch your purse a little tighter to your body as you make your way over. You stand behind Joel and face the bar, but he still hasn’t noticed you. You decide to mess with him a bit, and flag the bartender down before ordering a drink. Joel’s head snaps towards you so quickly that you’re concerned for his safety when he hears the sound of your voice.

“Baby,” he murmurs sloppily, and while you’ve never seen Joel completely drunk, a few beers usually loosens him up enough to act a little different than his normal self. You love watching how carefree and relaxed he seems when he’s like this, like the weight of his world is off his shoulders. He tries to hide it, but you can see how the pressure of running his business and keeping his life together affects him sometimes.

You offer up a shy smile, but Joel goes all in, wrapping his arms around you and spinning the barstool back towards the group he had been talking to, pulling you along with him. His smell envelops your senses and it feels so damn good after the long day you’ve had. You have to fight the urge to completely melt into him after only one second in his presence. He tugs your body so that you’re practically on his lap, your ass right in between his legs as he rests his chin on your shoulder and turns his attention back to his coworkers surrounding you. Unfortunately, the conversation they were having is grinding to a screeching halt when they see the way you’re pulled tightly to Joel’s body now. You feel your skin start to warm immediately and wriggle slightly in discomfort despite always loving the way any touch from Joel feels like heaven.

“Hi,” you squeak out after managing to clear your throat. The several men standing there gape for a few moments before offering up their own quiet hellos to you. You tell them your name and receive several awkward replies of their names in return, and you feel your face heat up even further. This has to be the first time they’ve seen Joel act like this with a woman because they’re all maintaining a look of skeptical concern, like they have no idea how to act right now.

“Nothin’ to act weird about, fellas,” Joel says casually, sipping the bottle of beer next to you two on the bar.

“S-sorry,” one of the men who introduced himself as Jeremy stammers. “Nice to meet you,” he says with a more relaxed tone. The others nod their agreement and you all try to fall into a more comfortable flow of conversation, but you can tell that seeing Joel with a woman your age has been startling for them, and they still have an air of walking on eggshells about the situation.

Joel barely seems to notice, keeping his attention half on the conversation as he nuzzles your neck and takes a deep breath in.

“Fuckin’ missed you, sweet little thing,” he says quietly right next to your ear, and it feels like a zap of lightning travels up your spine as you shiver slightly.

You tilt your head slightly towards his and smile timidly at him. “Missed you,” you say back just as quietly.

Another whisper from Joel in your ear makes your knees go slightly weak. “You want me to hold true to my word, right here in front of everyone?”

“J-joel, of course not.” You can feel your cheeks heating all over again. The last thing you want is for Joel to show everyone in this bar your bare ass, although you would be alright with him doing it in private right now with the way he’s already turning you on.

“Hmm, suppose I’ll spare you for right now,” he says, a growing grin coming onto his face and you tense a little at the implication of him doing those things to you later. “Could find another punishment for being such a little brat in those texts, though,” he says, voice low and amused . You feel your toes curl a little and you have to fight to not start grinding into his half hard cock right behind you.

“S-stop Joel,” you reply, your words contradicted by the little smirk on your face. You try to pay attention to the conversation happening right in front of you but it’s hard when Joel is being… well, Joel.

“Okay, baby, just for now,” he says sweetly, resuming his place with his chin on your shoulder, his large arms wrapped completely around your waist not giving you any room to budge. He’s clearly intent on showing this room just who you belong to, and you have absolutely no qualms about it - Joel’s protectiveness and possessiveness is one of the things that turns you on most, even if you worry that it’s not normal just how much you love it. You’d be lying if you said that just the idea of his staking this claim on you to show the whole bar you’re his didn’t have you getting wet already.

Fuck, what a god damned mess you are.

Joel must sense it, because one of his hands begins rubbing your thigh as if to make you feel even more crazy right now. You don’t know if he means to, but it reminds you of one of those first nights you went over to his house, when him touching your thigh had worked you up so much you’d almost wanted to yell. As his fingers brush over the material of your dress and you can feel the warmth of his hand seeping through to your skin, you realize not much has changed in that department. You’re half tempted now to yank him into the bathroom like he’d done to you at Cowgirls and let him have his way with you.

Once his coworkers loosen up a bit, they seem more relaxed and able to make conversation with you - they’re all good natured and funny as far as you can tell. When the topic of your relationship inevitably comes up, one of them even decides to crack a bold joke about the two of you, asking if Joel is your sugar daddy. Joel growls near your ear, but lets it slide with a lighthearted chuckle.

“He is,” you reply brusquely. “Joel makes the big bucks. Even bought me a car last week.” You wiggle your eyebrows in their direction to add effect to your words. Between the drinks you had at the work mixer and the beer you’ve almost finished, you feel pleasant and warm, laughing hard when all the guys surrounding you howl at your joke.

“Yeah, probably some used hunk of junk,” another one of Joel’s employees, Sean, retorts. Joel frowns and narrows his eyes at him, but when you turn your face to glance at him, his eyes have a mischievous sparkle in them as the others continue to chuckle at Joel’s expense.

“Enough teasing my girl, fellas,” Joel concludes, and they all try to quiet down through their laughter. It’s clear that Joel is close with these people, despite being their boss. They feel comfortable enough to poke fun at him like this, and you can appreciate his good attitude about all of it.

“For real, it’s nice to meet you. We didn’t know Joel was… seeing anyone,” Jeremy says. His words give you pause, not really sure if you and Joel are seeing each other. You guess that would be the simplest explanation of it, and from their perspective it sure looks like you and Joel are rather cozy with each other, maybe even in a relationship.

Joel squeezes you a little with the one arm around your waist, his other hand still on your thigh, rubbing rather distracting movements along it. Just as you let out a small, hopefully indiscernible sigh, you catch Chris, Joel’s employee who had worked on your parents’ bathroom, across the way, staring daggers at you two. Shit, you hadn’t even thought of him being here. You swallow uncomfortably and avert your gaze from his as quickly as possible, unsure if you should bring it up with Joel. When you dare to glance back, it seems that he’s torn his gaze away from you and Joel, but he seems to be stewing about it, silently drinking a beer across from another employee of Joel’s.

You forget about Chris’ stare for a while, getting to chat with a few more of Joel’s employees for the next few hours before the night starts to wind down for everyone. Once the awkwardness had fully subsided, everyone was more than kind to you, half of them desperate for any gossip you had on Joel, the other half just interested in trying to hustle you at darts.

When you’ve had enough socializing for the night, you excuse yourself to the bathroom before getting ready to head out, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you pass in his general vicinity. On the way out, however, he’s waiting impatiently in the hallway right outside the restroom, arms crossed with an indigent expression. He immediately corners you, an intimidating energy radiating off of his large form, causing you to promptly feel like shriveling up.

“You’re not serious, right?” he spits out, looking down on you.

“W-what?” you say, shrinking further onto yourself.

“That’s what was going on huh? Joel? What a fucking hypocrite,” Chris says, rolling his eyes aggressively.

“Chris, I think you n-need to relax,” you say, proud of yourself for trying to de-escalate the situation. Instead, he presses in on you a little more, his brows furrowed tightly.

“Tell me, was he already fucking you when I tried talking to you? That’s why you got all squirrely on me?” His hand reaches up and thumbs your chin, forcing you to tilt your head up as you try to avoid eye contact with him. You don’t like these rapid fire questions one bit, his light slur from drinking only adding to the anxiety rising up at the way he’s getting more frustrated.

“I - I - yes,” you squeak out, “It was b-before all of that, please… s-stop,” you try to explain, although you know that you owe him absolutely nothing. You don’t know what he wants to hear from you or what will get him off your back.

“What do you even want with someone like that? You got a thing for older guys or something? Just a slut for that older dick?” Chris asks with a scoff, looking down at you with an expression that reads as disgust. You scrunch your face up, feeling about half your size as tears creep into the backs of your eyes, desperate to fall. You know what he’s saying isn’t true, but your whole body burns with shame as if you’re doing something completely wrong by wanting Joel the way you do.

“S-stop, I don’t - I don’t have to answer that,” you say, straightening yourself up a bit, but he scoffs again.

“Whatever you want to tell yourself. Can’t believe you’d rather fuck some old, lonely loser,” Chris says, and you realize that this is the real him, the one that comes out when he’s drunk. You’re suddenly very thankful you’d had a good reason to not go out with him, anyways.

“Fuck you,” you spit out, deciding that talking about Joel like that is where you draw the line.

“Would you like that?” he says with a cocky smile now, pressing a bit closer. You feel trapped, willing anybody to walk down this hallway and see how uncomfortable Chris is making you and stop him. You start to squirm more aggressively, trying to slip out from the way you’re pressed against the wall now and squeeze your eyes shut, bracing for whatever might come next.

“Hey! What the hell is this?” you hear from afar, a familiar voice cutting through your rising panic.

You open your eyes and look over to see Tommy standing at the start of the hallway leading to the restrooms, hurriedly approaching where you two stand.

“T-tommy,” you say, wide eyed. This isn’t the first time Tommy has caught you in a compromising position, but luckily this time it’s clear this one is very unwanted.

“Alright, kid, let’s back the hell off before you regret it,” Tommy says, grabbing Chris by the shoulder and tugging him hard. You finally have some room to breathe as Chris’ body moves from yours, and your shoulders and chest sag in relief.

“Let’s go talk,” Tommy adds on, trying to give Chris a chance to calm down as he begins pulling him down the hallway. You stand for a few moments, catching your breath, and it hitches as Tommy shoots you a sympathetic look over his shoulder. As you go to follow them and head back over to Joel, he appears in front of Tommy and Chris, looking concerned.

“The hell is goin’ on?” Joel asks, and when he glances past the pair and sees you looking distraught with a heaving chest, tears brimming in your eyes, his fists ball up tightly at his sides. “Oh, I see,” he adds darkly, eyes flicking to Chris’ smug expression. Joel’s pleasant and cheerful mood has sobered up the quickest you’ve ever seen as they just stare at each other for a few seconds.

You sense that this could get messy very quickly, so you hastily make your way to them and try to step in. “It’s alright, Joel, everything is fine,” you say, although you honestly wouldn’t mind seeing Chris a bit shaken up by Joel. You make your way to Joel’s side and place a calming hand on his bicep.

“We were seeing each other before everything, okay? P-please just stop this,” you plead to Chris as your eyes scan all of their faces, feeling extremely caught in the middle of this testosterone fueled standoff.

“Ridiculous,” Chris murmurs, finally casting his eyes down in defeat.

“I’m s-sorry you’re disappointed, or whatever, but you didn’t need to f-fucking harass me, okay?” Your voice comes out shaky but you stand your ground, and can feel how tense Joel is next to you, ready to jump into action at any moment if needed.

“Listen, I know it was wrong of me to give you a talkin’ to when I was doin’ what I was doin’, but I promise it all happened before the job was offered to me, okay? S’complicated, kid,” Joel says, his voice controlled despite the adrenaline buzzing on his skin. You have hope for a moment that you’ve both gotten through to him, and this doesn’t have to end in some kind of disaster. Chris only scoffs a little and shakes his head for a few moments.

“Whatever, you’re a fucking pervert, man. Don’t deserve someone like that,” Chris mumbles, and before Joel can jump at Chris’ words, you try to step slightly in front of him.

“You should leave,” you say sternly to Chris, and Joel blinks hard and looks over at you. “Or I truly think you’re going to get your ass kicked,” you add on, and you can see Tommy trying to hide his growing smirk.

Chris’ eyes meet yours one last time, full of the kind of unfiltered emotions that alcohol can give you. Unfortunately, the ones shining through in his eyes are hateful and disgusted, and it’s starting to make you feel small all over again. Thankfully, he chooses not to speak again and he rushes to the door with heavy, outraged steps the entire way out.

Joel seems to slacken his body a little as he whirls to you, wrapping you up in his arms. You press your face to his warm chest, hearing his rapid heartbeat through the fabric of his soft shirt. You silently will it to slow down, hoping that the feeling of you sinking into him will help quiet the storm you know is brewing inside of him right now.

“Y'alright, sweetheart?” Joel asks softly, and you nod into his torso.

“Fine. I’m fine,” you answer quickly. You feel a bit shaken up, but mostly lingering anger and frustration courses through you as you answer Joel’s question.

“Want me to take ya home?” he asks, and you pull your head off of him, looking up to see his eyes soft and glistening under the dim lighting. You nod again, and he smiles sullenly at you.

“You can drive?” you ask, brows knitting in concern. Joel gives you a small nod. You suppose you had probably noticed him cut back on his intake a while back, but you'd been having your own fun, not particularly paying attention.

“Cut myself off over an hour ago, like I always do when we come here. I’ll get ya out of here safe, baby, go treat you right,” he replies, turning out of the embrace he has you in, putting an arm around your shoulder to guide you out of the bar.

The ride home is quiet, but Joel’s hand never leaves your leg, tracing along between your knee and upper thigh, with a few reassuring squeezes periodically. You can tell that Joel has a lot on his mind from the encounter with Chris, and you wish you could open up his thoughts and read them all right now. You’re still coming down from the rush of adrenaline from being pinned against the wall by Chris, can still feel the remnants of pure fear that only a man is able to instill in a vulnerable woman. You shiver slightly at the memory, brows drawn together, and Joel’s grip tightens before slipping his fingers under the hem of your dress slightly.

“S’okay, baby,” Joel says, quiet and reassuring. Another shiver passes over you as the rough, calloused pads of his finger brush on your bare skin again. What a fucking mixture of emotions you’re feeling right now, you think with a long sigh.

“Are we… wrong?” you ask quietly, and Joel breathes out loudly through his nose. The way Chris’ eyes had bored into you, begging you to be ashamed, to feel regret about you and Joel was sticking with you still. You want to refuse to be affected by it, but the fact that the first time you’d gone more public with things it had turned into an argument, and almost a physical altercation, made you feel uneasy.

“Honestly, sweetheart, I don’t know. Been askin’ myself that for a while,” he replies, and while it’s not the answer you wanted to hear, you’re appreciative of his continued honesty with you.

“It doesn’t feel wrong…” you say, keeping your eyes out the window as you start to pass by familiar streets on the way home.

“No, it doesn’t,” Joel says simply. “Don’t really care what anyone else thinks about us. S’why I wanted you to come out tonight. Sick of actin’ like I can’t be with who I wanna be with.”

Your eyebrows twitch in surprise and you look over at him now. You can hear the frustration in his voice - clearly these thoughts have been weighing on him recently.

“I - yeah, I feel the same way.”

“Doesn’t mean I ain’t insecure about it sometimes, though.”

“Insecure?” you echo, feeling taken aback. Joel never seemed to be the insecure type to you.

“‘Bout what people might think of what I’m doin’ to you. The way you’re givin’ all your time to someone older like me, someone who isn’t just startin’ out in the real world like you.”

You purse your lips, frustrated that this is coming up again for him, and you’re not sure how to convince him that he isn’t wasting your time. It seems like one minute he’s completely on board, ready to forget about what anyone else says about you two, and then the next he’s reminding himself that he’s no good for you.

“You already know that none of that matters to me,” you tell him, and he nods slightly, but you can sense his apprehension. “Just need you with me, and I’m perfectly capable of figuring out the rest of my life.”

Your words manage to crack through Joel’s melancholy attitude as he smiles slightly, glancing over at you with adoring eyes.

“And you know I don’t agree with any of the things that Chris said, right? About you not deserving me, or being a pervert. It’s total bullshit,” you add on, desperate to make sure Joel doesn’t latch onto any of those lies.

“I know, baby. Maybe thought about it at one point or another, especially ‘fore I got to know you. Felt like an old creep ogling a young girl,” he says, a little bit more light hearted.

“You’re not that old, Joel,” you say with a little chuckle. “And if that’s true, I was a creep too, so maybe we’re meant for each other.” Joel cracks another smile and laughs at your comparison.

“Sweet girl,” he murmurs with another stolen glance at you before turning his eyes back to the road. You want to cheer him up, to make him feel good, so you quickly concoct a plan you think he’ll like.

“Where’s my jealous Joel, hm? The one who will take me home and show me I’m his after a night like this…” you dare to say, and Joel’s eyes immediately change, glazing over as he lets out a rumbling chuckle.

“Oh, that’s what you’re lookin’ for tonight, is it?” he asks, turning the car into your neighborhood.

“Can’t hold me and touch my leg all night and expect me not to be,” you say, breathy and low now. Joel’s hand tightens possessively on your leg as he slides it up higher, pushing far past the hem of your dress now. Your legs instinctively part slightly as he reaches higher, and he lets out a small hum at the gesture.

“Bet you’re all wet, aren’t ya? Thinkin’ about me bein’ jealous? About me ready to fuck someone up just for disrespectin’ you?” Joel’s face is twisting into a smirk, ideas of what to do with you running through his head as he’s only a few houses down from his.

Your eyes flutter shut for a moment as you nod, breathing heavier now. “Let you do anything to me after all of that,” you say, and Joel’s hand tightens on the steering wheel while he speeds into his driveway, impatiently waiting for the garage door to open.

“Fuck it, get out and go in the house,” he demands as the garage is inching it’s way up. It feels like an eternity when his cock is already getting excruciatingly hard from your few sultry words and the feel of the plush, supple skin on your thigh. You slide out of the car silently and hear the slam of his car door behind him as you make your way to his front door. He barely even fumbles with the key despite his haste as he unlocks the front door, shoving you inside by gripping your ass and pushing you forward. His hand is on yours now, pulling you along into the kitchen, silent and clearly on a mission.

Next to the counter, he spins you and crashes you against it, forcing the front of your body half down onto the cool surface of the linoleum before pulling your dress up your ass and promptly ripping your underwear from your body. You cry out a complaint to protest the sudden destruction of your panties, but Joel pushes himself harder into your hips, silencing you.

“I’ll buy you new ones, quit your whining, girl,” he says roughly, the insecure, unsure voice you’d heard from him in the car completely gone now. You hear him fiddling with his belt and pants zipper behind you, clearly already very eager to get inside of you.

“I liked that pair,” you say with a frown.

“I said quit it. You ain’t gonna care once you’ve got this cock in you, are you?” he says as he reaches in between your legs, now having easy access to your dripping cunt. “Already fuckin’ soaked, filthy fuckin’ thing,” he comments, pulling his hand out, and your hips shudder backwards at the sudden loss of him before he could even begin to pleasure you.

“N-no fair,” you whimper, already losing yourself to him. Your heart thrums in your chest as he pushes onto you, the feel of his throbbing cock right on your ass making your mouth water and insides ache for him desperately.

“Said I could do anythin’, darlin’, so keep your pretty mouth shut and let me show you that you’re mine,” he says, but his gentle, loving strokes along your back and ass are contradictory to his harsh tone.

You stay quiet, but push your hips back slightly into him. Your silent invitation is all he needs to push into you, the thick length of him entering you quickly and not stopping until he’s completely buried in your cunt. You moan out in pain from the sudden stretch on your walls from him. Your face contorts slightly at the feeling of it as you’re pushed down onto the counter, your cheek now touching the smooth surface.

“Shh, c’mon baby, you can do it. Open up for me, take this cock nice and pretty for me,” Joel coos, settling himself deep inside of you and grinding his hips the tiniest bit. He brushes your hair off your neck, stroking gently to try and calm you. You let out a shaky breath but feel your body starting to relax into it, quickly finding that pleasure you’re so familiar with from him when you grind your hips forward and then back enough to give Joel some movement.

“Yeah, atta girl, good fucking girl,” he breathes out when he feels you loosen up enough for him to move comfortably as he starts thrusting his hips in and out of you. “My pretty little thing, gonna show you how to take this cock so good tonight, remember you’re all mine.” Joel’s words have an instant effect on you, and you can feel yourself clench around him as you moan.

Joel picks up the pace of his hips, pushing you into the counter with each thrust into you. You can hear the sloppy, wet noises with each movement he makes while you leak around him, already coating every bit of him as he grunts in pleasure.

“So fucking wet baby, all for me,” he groans. “Noisy little pussy all soaked for this cock.” Joel smirks in satisfaction as he watches you fall apart in front of him, your body leaned over the counter, a line of sweat already coating your hairline and forming along your neck. He grasps tightly onto each side of your hips, allowing him to hold you firmly as he thrusts completely into you, each movement pressing his cock as deep as he can, and you cry out when his angle starts to hit your favorite spot deep inside of you.

“P-please,” you cry out, whimpering and writhing underneath him as your back arches. It’s a sight to behold, Joel thinks to himself as he sees you losing yourself to the pleasure, eyes fluttering and mouth parted as your cunt clenches around him over and over, so close to release.

“Beg me some more, sweetheart,” he says airily, his breathing ramping up even more as he thrusts over and over onto that same spot.

“Joel, please, I need to - oh my god,” you moan, pressing your forehead down onto the counter

“What do you need, baby?” he asks, one of his hands snaking along your back and up to your neck.

“N-need to come, it’s feels so fucking good.” You’re melting by the second, already so close to finding your release, amazed at how quickly he’s able to bring it out of you sometimes.

Joel teasingly slows his movements, and you instantly make a loud noise of protest, hips bouncing as quickly as they can under his hold, trying to get back the speed he was at moments ago. Joel tuts and grips the back of your head, wrapping your hair around his hand.

“Mm-mm,” he scolds you, tugging slightly on the strands of hair he’s holding. “Don’t you dare try to make yourself come yet,” he says, feeling you continue to try and move your hips more quickly than he wants to allow.

You breathe out a shaky breath, legs trembling with anticipation and need while your cunt aches for him to move more quickly.

“Please, Joel, let me come, I’m being so good,” you say after another whimper, and Joel strokes your head lovingly, debating for a moment on his next move.

“Prove it. If you can keep these pretty hips still for two minutes and not come, I’ll give you what you want and more…” Joel offers, and you swallow hard, begging your body to still as he stops his thrusts completely. You breathe out, shaking, knowing how good he feels inside you but being unable to move is already torture. Joel lets out a little devilish chuckle as his hand reaches around you and his fingers drag along your pussy lips, and you bite hard on the inside of your cheek breaths coming out in quick, staccato bursts.

“N-not fair,” you push out through clenched teeth, curling your toes so tightly you feel like they could break.

“Never said it was gonna be fair. Just need you to be a good girl and do as I say, hm? Can you do that?”

You nod the tiniest bit, being careful not to jostle any part of your body unnecessarily. Joel’s enjoying this way too much, you think spitefully, but you can feel the rushes of wetness flowing out all over his cock seated inside of you when he continues toying with your pussy. You could deny liking this, but what would the point of that be? You’d only be lying to yourself.

“Baby, so fuckin’ swollen and wet, don’t it ache right now? Need me movin’ inside of you?” Joel teases, and you clench your teeth, trying to not whimper too loudly. His finger brushes over your clit and you let out an animalistic growl, squeezing your eyes shut. Joel rubs slow, deliberate circles near your clit, barely touching it but allowing the finger to brush it every so often, sending a shooting explosion of pleasure every time he does, little whimpers escaping your lips each time he does. But you’ll be damned if you move your hips at all and don’t get your reward at the end of all this, you think with solid determination.

“Love playin’ with you baby, my little play thing, aren’t you? Fuckin’ whimpering mess for me to make you come,” Joel says, his enjoyment of this clear as day in his teasing tone towards you. You make a strangled sound of agreement, completely unable to verbalize anything right now. You feel right on the edge, an orgasm threatening to tear through you as his fingers brush over the sensitive nerves over and over.

“P-please, I’m not gonna m-make it -” you cry out, trying to ignore the feeling of him touching you that your body typically craves at all other times.

“Time’s up,” Joel says with a quick squeeze of your ass, and you can barely breathe a sigh of relief before he begins moving his hips again, the sensation of being full of him hitting you all over again as he pumps in and out of you. A shaky moan passes your lips, your whole body starting to tremble from the entire ordeal Joel just put you through.

“Shh, good girl, you did so good. Love teasin’ you, baby,” Joel says, “So good at followin’ my orders,” he adds with a smirk in his voice that doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

He picks back up a steady pace of slamming his cock into you, starting to push even harder than before, your cunt fluttering around him as the pleasure overwhelms you again and you feel the sweet release building in your core, a small flame growing into a toe curling fire as he hits your g-spot again.

Joel’s hand suddenly reaches around your head, wrapping his large fingers around your throat. You gasp lightly in shock, feeling the minimal pressure he’s applying on your throat to start with as he tilts your head up off the counter slightly.

“F-fuck,” you manage to choke out, and Joel increases the pressure just slightly, testing the boundary.

“Like it when I handle you like this, hm, baby?” he asks and you let out a soft, moaning “mhm” in response to him. He squeezes a little harder, the perfect amount of pressure to feel everything you wanted from this as he asserts every ounce of dominance he can over you. You’re splayed out over the counter, your entire body at his mercy now as he grasps your throat and bucks his hips into you.

Another small squeeze of his thick fingers sends you over the edge, and you let out a stifled moan from your throat, Joel feeling the vibrations of it on his hand and groaning at the power he’s feeling over your pleasure. Your entire body rocks into Joel’s with the pure bliss running through it, surges of pleasure from your core radiating out and making you tense up.

“Fuckin’ squeezin’ my cock so good, baby,” Joel purrs, loosening his grip slightly on your throat so he can hear the noises he brings out of you completely unhindered.

“F-fuck, Joel,” you say, calling his name several more times as you writhe and continue to feel your climax pulsing through you. Finally, you come down slightly, just as Joel pumps into you several more times, finishing himself off inside of you, spilling his warmth as deep as he possibly can inside of you. He grunts out expletives and curses, quiet moans flowing from his lips as his hips stutter against you.

“God, darlin’, how’re you so fuckin’ perfect every time?” Joel breathes out, leaning his body onto yours as he recuperates for a moment.

“No that’s you,” you grumble, slurring your words slightly as you feel completely out of it from the intensity of this latest climax.

“You make me that way, couldn’t come like this for anyone else, swear,” Joel concludes, pulling his cock from your entrance and shaking his head in disbelief.

“Here, darlin’,” Joel says, scooping your body from its stiff position leaned over the counter and pulling you upright. He pinches your cheek lovingly and you blink softly up at him. “Let’s get you in the shower, hm?” he says, putting an arm around your waist and guiding you towards the stairs.

“Only if we can do that again in there,” you tease, and Joel laughs heartily, his chest rumbling your own body as he holds you close to him.

“Insatiable girl… we’ll see what we can do.”

taglist: @paleidiot @mumma-moonchild @soph55

#my need for joel miller grows every single day it's not even funny anymore #fic: closer #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

200 notes · View notes