#we get compared to jake english for it

[marie-swriting]

Just Live - Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

Summary : You always feel like you have to work harder to be recognised as your own person, instead of just Natasha's sibling.

Warnings : Trace!sibling reader, reader is one year younger, use of they/them pronouns, set during the movie with some canon deviant elements, angst, mention of plane crash, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2k

French version

Request : made by anonymous, here's the link to the request. To whoever requested it, I hope you'll like what I wrote and again, sorry for taking so long to write it 🫶🏻

You’re with Payback, Fanboy, and your sister Natasha when you’re arriving in the Hard Deck so you can find the other pilots you’re going to work with for a new mission. You almost have no information about it, you just know you’ve all been called back to TopGun.

The second you step foot in the bar, you hear Hangman's arrogant voice near the pool table where he’s with his friend and fellow pilot Coyote. As if he felt you coming, Jake looks up towards you and catches Javy’s attention.

“What do we have here? If it ain’t Phoenix! And here I thought we were special, Coyote.” he exclaims with a cocky smile. “Turns out the invite went to anyone. Oh, there’s even Phoenix Number Two,” Jake adds, seeing you, “So, you’ve finally reached your sister’s level?”

At the mention of the nickname ‘Phoenix Number Two’ - which is, obviously, not your callsign -, you can’t help but be annoyed. Hangman always knows how to get under your skin. You’re about to reply when Natasha beats you to it. 

“Fellas, this here’s Bagman.”

“Hangman.” the concerned person corrects.

“Whatever. You’re looking at the only naval aviator on active duty with a confirmed air-to-air kill.”

“Stop!” 

“Mind you,” you start, looking him up and down, “the other guy was in a museum piece from the Korean War.”

“Cold War.” Coyote rectifies.

“Different wars, same century.” Payback specifies.

“Not this one.” Fanboy adds.

“Who are your friends ?” Javy asks.

You decide to not participate in the conversation any longer and go to ask for a beer. The assignment hasn’t started yet and you’re already sick of it. Sure, for once, you didn’t get more than one comment comparing you and your sister but it’s still a sore subject.

You’re only a year younger than Natasha and yet, those twelve months are enough for the entire world to use your big sister as a comparison. Even before getting in the Navy, you received a lot of remarks explaining how you should be more like Natasha; and this happened only when people were noticing what you were doing. In general, when you were a kid, your achievements were whisked away.

By choosing to be a naval aviator, you thought you’d finally detached yourself from Natasha as you’d be doing a job that is out of the ordinary. At that time, your sister was already in the army, she just didn’t know what she wanted to be in particular. A year before you officially became a pilot, Phoenix proudly announced that she wanted to be one, too. Your parents were immediately proud of her; they didn’t show as much joy when you had told them - as for you, you were irritated. Being a pilot was your dream, it was supposed to be the thing that differenciate you from Natasha, it was supposed to help you show who you truly are and now, it’s just one more thing that you share with your sister.

Your callsign, Griffin, is also another common point with Natasha. People from your year racked their brains to find another mythological creature so you could have a link with your sister. They meant well, you know it, but the fact is that even in the Academy without your sister, you lived in her shadow, in spite of yourself. With years, it drew you and Phoenix apart. You still get along and you’d do anything for her, though you can’t help but be bitter. You know it’s ridiculous, you’re mad at yourself for being this resentful towards her; after all, it’s not her fault, Natasha has always made sure people would see you for who you are, though it doesn’t change the way you feel. With time, you’ve learned to be discreet about this pain that is eating you from the inside. However, from time to time, like tonight, the pain and the anger that comes with it find a way to the surface. So, during the evening, you stay on your own, your beer in hand, conversing with people just enough so they remember you’re here but not enough to be the main topic. 

The mission you’ve been assigned to is the most dangerous one you’ve ever had. You all agree to say it’s almost impossible to complete it. Even Hangman is not cocky enough to pretend he’s confident about it. You’ve always given yourself fully for your work, however this time, you work twice as hard. It’s not only about your own survival but also for the other ones, including your sister. You might train every single day, it still doesn’t seem enough. In training,  no one has succeeded to complete this mission, except Rooster if we forget the fact he arrived at the target too late. Besides Bradley, you’re the one who did best before ‘colliding’ in the mountain just when you were about to hit the spot where the uranium would be. You could have succeeded if you hadn’t been distracted by Natasha and Bob’s plane behind you.

“Why are you dead?” Maverick questions, tensed.

“I didn’t communicate correctly and I didn’t notice they needed help.” you reply with a neutral tone.

“Exactly so, stop playing solo and learn to pay attention to your wingmen. Besides that, you had good technique. Phoenix, as for you, you know how to communicate but you have to be a bit more careful when you fly.”

Reluctantly, you accept Maverick’s critic. He’s not wrong, communication has never been your strong suit. You’re a very lonely person and though sometimes, this might be a strength, when you’re a naval aviator, it is not. You have to do better, you have to do like Natasha. It is not easy for you to admit it but you can’t deny Maverick is correct so you take it upon yourself to learn from his critics so you can be a better pilot, hoping you’ll be able to make it if you’re chosen for the assignment. 

Once the day of the mission has come, anxiety is at its climax while you’re getting ready to fly. Maverick is the team leader and you’re his wingman, Rooster is with Payback and finally Phoenix is with Bob. You do not feel at ease at the thought of your sister flying with you; you are scared something might happen to her. You try not to think of the worst case scenario and instead focus on what you have to do. If you want to keep your squad safe, you have to stay focused on your mission, not on your fear of losing Natasha.

In the air, you all do everything perfectly, completing the two miracles necessary for this mission. Now, enemy missiles are coming from everywhere and you do everything to avoid them. The flares you used to avoid them fly left and right while you keep each other updated on every new threat. There is no end, every time a missile is destroyed, four new ones seem to appear in the sky.

Adrenaline is running through your veins while black smokes surround all of you. In spite of yourself, you look in Natasha’s direction in case she might need help. Though, a missile going right to Bradley and Payback’s plane catches your attention and you fly in their direction to help them, except your plane gets hit in the process and you can’t do anything but fall down as Natasha screams in fear in your ears. 

The second you come back to yourself, you find yourself laying on the snowy ground. Thanks to your third unplanned miracle, you’re not hurt or your adrenaline is still high enough so you can’t feel the pain in your body. You barely avoid an enemy aircraft coming your way thanks to Maverick’s intervention who came to your rescue while crashing his own plane. Together, you find a plane for two before leaving enemy territory and going home.

After a landing more or less wonky, people present on the carrier cheer for you and Maverick as they know you’re safe and sound. You just have time to catch your breath before someone grabs you from behind and makes you walk to a room. Once the door is closed, you find Natasha in front of you and she hugs you, sighing in relief before taking a step back and looking at you with a severe expression. 

“What got into you? It was reckless to pull a stunt like that!”

“Reckless? I saved Rooster and Payback’s life.” you retort, outraged she’s mad.

“And you could have lost yours in the process.”

“I didn’t. I knew what I was doing.”

“No, you didn’t. You were ready to sacrifice yourself and for what? To prove something? To prove you’re a damn good pilot?” Natasha asks, knowing you too well. “Breaking new, you already are! That’s why you were chosen for this mission.”

“This has nothing to do with that.”

“Really?” Natasha questions rhetorically. “Y/N, I don’t know what you need to realise you’ve got nothing to prove.”

“Easy for you to say.” you reply, avoiding her gaze for a second.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone has always seen your talents. I have always had to fight to have a bit of recognition. No matter what I do, I’m only Natasha’s little sibling or ‘Phoenix Number Two’, I’m never just me. So, yeah, maybe I came to Rooster and Payback’s rescue to show I’m strong but what do you want me to say? Years of being invisible mess with your head.” you defend yourself, tearing up.

“That doesn’t mean you should sacrifice yourself at any given occasion. There are other ways to show your talent as a naval aviator. How would you think we’d react if you were to die after acting like you did? Sure, maybe people would recognize your achievements but we would be devastated, I would be devastated.” Natasha exclaims, her voice breaking. “And now you must think I’m insensitive because I’m making this situation about me and maybe I am, but if that’s what it takes for you to understand how dangerous and stupid what you did was then so be it.”

“I’m just tired of working harder just to not be seen.”

“Y/N, it’s not the case anymore.” she affirms, taking a step forward. “We’re not kids anymore. If people didn’t see you, you wouldn’t have been called back to TopGun and you wouldn’t have been Maverick’s wingman and yet, you were. It’s probably easier said than done, however you have to realise the child version of you who was never taken seriously has grown up and showed they had guts. I’m not saying people will stop comparing us but they don’t see you as an extension of me anymore, they see the real you now.”

“You’re probably right.” you end up saying, wiping a single tear on your cheek. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You better not do that ever again or this time, I’d be faster than Maverick and find you so I could kick your ass.”

Top Gun Maverick Masterlist

You lightly chuckle before taking your sister in your arms again. Slowly, you feel the adrenaline leaving your body as you integrate the words you’ve exchanged with Natasha. She’s right, you have to realise things aren’t like they used to. Maybe one day you’ll finally be able to do it. Maybe you’ll finally let go of this idea you have to fight to be seen for you and you only, maybe one day, you’ll finally be able to just live.

[azaharinflames]

The thing that frustrates me the most with BOBs is that they claim that B*ddie is a slow burn relationship panning multiple seasons when it’s so obvious that it’s not. We have so many other slow burns to compare them to and they don’t match up

1. Castle and Beckett

2. Bones and Booth

3. Shawn and Juliet (from Psych: also I would believe Shawn and Lassiter were a thing before B*ddie)

4. Amy and Jake (B99)

But most importantly they are nothing when compared to Rizzoli and Isles.

They were the ultimate best friends that never happened but should have happened and would have happened if the higher ups weren’t cowards. The chemistry, the undertones, everything was there.

I was recently was rewatching it and if B*ddie had even 10% of what they had I would be shipping them. But the fact is they don’t.

Yeah, I bought into the slow-burn thing at first when shipping Buddie, but then I would rewatch the series, and try to find any slow-burn signs, and just... didn't find any. And, now, it genuinely baffles me whenever they say Buddie is the greatest slow-burn ever written. Because... huh?

I haven't seen most of the shows you mentioned, but Castle? That was my shit in high school. One of the reasons I went from a very basic and academic English to speaking it fluently is because I would watch the episodes in English on Youtube, as they took forever to premiere in my country. Their last season was... yeah, but I loved that show. And their slow-burn?

Yeah. That is a slow-burn.

Castle and Beckett are immediately attracted to each other. You have a slow-burn burning slowly since the first episode. You have them constantly get jealous over each other, constantly saving each other, and acting like the furthest thing from romantic. You have the people around them constantly either teasing them about their feelings or urging them to do something about it. I don't know how someone can see that (or any of the shows you mentioned), and then see 911, and decide Buddie is, somehow, somewhere close to their level, or even superior.

Like. At this point, I do wonder if this is the first series they've ever seen. And I say that as someone who is horrible at starting shows lmao.

[avatar-of-procrastination]

Celebrating Valentines with the moon boys

A.N: HELLO PEEPS I HAVE BEEN RESURRECTED what better way to celebrate my return than by a small hc about my baby moonboys and how theyd reach to celebrating valentines?!

enjoy this as i write it at 2 am, well past valentine but who cares eheheehhe

(English isnt my first language. Please pardon any grammatical/spelling mistakes. Gifs not mine)

[ pls ignore all spelling mistakes and capitalization issues i'll fix it later i promise 😭😭😭 ]

Steven

while he may very well be the definition of a nervous wreck, he'd definitely be the type of person to remember your favourite flowers and chocolates and buy the largest possible set of both. top it off with a personal letter in which he confesses just how good you make him feel. steven would be the person to make you feel loved for yourself, never having to put on a facade for him, because he loves you more than you could ever love yourself. he's shocked when you cry at the words and you guys end up cuddling the rest of the night, with one arm around you and the other gently stroking your hair, whispering 'i love you' until you fall asleep.

once he's sure youre asleep, he'd snuggle into you, holing you tightly and recount every moment he's been grateful to have you for

Marc

as we all know marc is a true baby at heart. he'd be the kind of person to not make valentines a big deal but the moment he sees you pouting he'd turn the world upside down. not even khonshu would be able to calm him down. once you tell him that in fact you do want him to pamper you on valentines, hed go to pull all the stops. make it the best valentines youve ever had.. first up is a lovely breakfast in bed, with pancakes and strawberries and chocolate syrup overloaded. then he'd take you out for a picnic in the flower fields where you make a bouquet for him and he almost starts crying at the gesture (because why in the world would someone with a right mind ever do something so sweet for a mercenary?). the next stop was a romantic movie date that was being re-played in the theaters, followed by stargazing at night.

you were full of love and adoration for your man and the efforts he took to keep a smile on your face.

"all the stars in the sky couldnt compare to the love i hold for you, marc"

hed start crying, because he's new to being loved. its a foreign feeling but one he cherishes the most. he'd thank all the gods above for bringing you into his life

Jake

we all know he's a little shit. the more you'd hint him to treat you on valentines, the more dumb he'd act. ("valentines??? whats that???") to a point where youd start pouting and sticking your tongue out at him. cut to valentines and you thought he'd surprise you and all of the acting dumb was just to irk you. but when he actually has nothing planned it pisses you off. youd be sulky and bratty and purposefully get on his nerves too (*cough* no bra in the house *cough*)

turns out there was a surprise for you. one of the most hottest and filthiest nights you couldve ever imagined. rest assured there was no way youd be able to go out in public because a) your legs wouldnt move and b) with the amount of hickeys you had someone would thing youre being abused 😭😭

[priceofs]

Teacher’s pet

So, I got inspired. I’m going to play out something that I’d really like to happen to me. By the way, English isn’t my first language, though I enjoy writing anyway. This will be a series, and this is part one, almost obviously enough. It’s about you, a male!reader x an older!male teacher. He’s a bit of a goof, be warned. You’re kind of laid-back, apathetic, even.

—

George, a name you’d always remember. Goddamn him and the way he’d changed your life without intending to.

You had to choose between Art or Science. You fit both categories, often diving into the world of doodles and research, but the latter club possessed a quite dull teacher—and you didn’t feel too engaged with her, honestly. You hadn’t met your actual Art teacher until today.

A crazy-looking man with medium-length, brown hair tied into a ponytail with slight grey strands hanging off the attempt at formality in his head, which, you’ve heard wasn’t his forte. He wore a black and red flannel shirt, dark blue glasses with thick frames and smudged lenses—you could see the brown of his eyes twinkle with mischief under them. Well, not exactly, but that was the vibe he gave off. He had a bald spot on his scruffy beard, and he walked a bit irregularly, but you couldn’t assume he had a limp—it was more of a state of mind, if you will, from him, not you, or so you’d like to hope. He carried a cup of hot black coffee that smelled good enough for a school drink; bittersweet. You didn’t like this guy. You had already labeled him from that one school event—he wore those dorky shirts with anime or Marvel references, and, in your opinion, he was trying too hard to be funny.

Then, he dropped his things on his desk, clapping his hands once, smiling to show his irregular teeth. You could almost compare this man to Charles Manson—and that said a lot. A lot about you, too. Anyway.

“Hello, people, people, hello,” he announced with that goofy flair, “time for the annual presentation, ‘cause we’re not doing this again, eh?” He chuckled. Suddenly, he turned serious, but you could tell it was more like a mocking action, not to anyone in particular. “You!” He pointed at one of your classmates, which, by the way, you didn’t hold a relationship with. “Name, age, interests, now!” He held his hands up, looking down at her, expectant. Some chuckled, some stared, a bit bewildered. They probably had some expectations about getting a hippie who was too kind for their own good, too fragile to be a teacher at times like these, you thought. Instead, you all got this clown.

“Uh, Isabel, eighteen, dancing?” She replied.

“What kind of old-ass name is that?” One of those stereotypical machos blurted out, looking at his buddies for approval. George smirked, placing an apparent friendly hand on the guy’s shoulder. “Tell me, what’s your name?”

“Jake”, he answered. “Oh my God! Jake! Are some sort of supreme human being?” George asked, his eyes widening as he placed his previous free hand onto Jake’s other shoulder. The guy just chuckled nervously, caught a bit off guard. Oops, Jake’s control was falling apart. ‘What’s this alpha male gonna do now, huh?’ You thought to yourself, smirking a bit as the teacher started cracking your initial opinion of him. George abruptly turned around. You sensed he wasn’t all that bad, since he wasn’t in the mood to humiliate anyone. You kind of forgot about the whole presentation thing, but suddenly, he was pointing at you.

“Name, age, interests. Same thing. Go!” He enthusiastically stared, shifting the class’ attention to you. ‘Ah, great’, you articulated internally. You presented yourself. Your birthday was in a month, but you weren’t sure it was worth telling. “I’m seventeen”, you continued.

“Oh, a bit younger than your peers, huh?” George said innocently, despite what your initial interpretations made you think.

“Apparently so. I mean, time’s relative, right? Einstein said that. We trust that guy, no? Uh—” Realizing you were rambling like you usually did, you stopped yourself before contributing to humiliate your own image any further, or whatever was left of it in this fucked up hell of an educational system. Not like you knew much about politics, but it sure didn’t seem fair.

Snapping you back to reality, George’s voice rang through the echoing classroom. “Well, a science guy, huh? Me too. Science is in everything, right? Even sweeping! It’s the way you grab the broom, the way you mentally organize the space to remove all visible dirt or unwelcome objects from the floor— Anyway, back to the presentations.” He said enthusiastically, turning around to another student. You realized that you were smiling by the slight stretches and twitches the muscles of your face made. With that description, it sounds like you’re exaggerating it a bit, but it was a genuine grin, something that was rare in anyone, especially you.

[rubbership]

i dont know. if you know who im talking about.... die i guess i dontknow

i still cant believe my old best friend of fucking years wouldnt stop comparing me to one of his close friends, and how similar we are, and i found out the reason why he kept saying that is becaue his friend got called out for shipping and roleplaying underaged incest (he kept saying we both got called out for 'pointless internet drama' where as my pointless internet drama was being a 'fake' jew and the others was actively advocating for incest) and would compare us for years and years and years and finally got us to talk and meet and become "Friends" and the friendship lasted 6 months and it was 6 whole months of this random ass guy i didnt know sexually harrassing me, calling me retarded, talking about how much he hated women and then implying that i had slept with or was "groping/feeling up" my grandma (simply because i said i liked to headcanon jade english, jakes grandma, as trans) and also tried to get me to hook up with his terf girlfriend over and over and over because he had a cucking fetish despite me telling him that i actively fucking did not like her and wanted nothing to do with her and wanted her to stay far far far away from me. and then wehn this guy and his girlfriend orchestrated a "fake multiple personality" incident and she started pretending to be a dirk fictive that he had JUST met and was introducing me to because "dirk was lonely and needed more friends" knowing i at the time had a delusional obsession with dirk strider. and then immediately revealed after talking about how badly he wants to see me and this "dirk kin" hook up and "be happy" for once, that the dirk kin was actually a brand new alter his girlfriend just developed. after i told him that i never ever wanted to talk to her or see her again because of the sexual harrassment.

and then my best friend acted like this wasnt that big of a deal, didnt protect me, and didnt give a fuck after the falling out happened, staying friends with the guy for years after until they eventually drifted apart. i fucking hate my stupid ass life

[i-like-giving-orders]

[ID: 2 dialogue bubbles. The first one on the left says "If you didn't have your body..." The second one picks it up where the last one left off. It says "...you would definitely be like me." /End ID.]

i know that daniel will probably be haunted by these words and wonder whether there's some truth to them but imo while jiho is right that daniel only got better as a consequence of having 2 bodies, jiho and daniel are very different people

jiho is right that they suffered similarly by being bullied for their looks and he is also right that daniel was able to escape that when he switched, but the things that sets them apart are 2 things imo: kindness and a fighting spirit.

you see, when given the opportunity, daniel chooses kindness. jiho has to be grudgingly coaxed into it. when daniel got his second body, he decided to use his privilege to stop jiho and duke from being bullied. he gave duke a nudge and duke ran with it. he tried to do the same with jiho and jiho got entitled. truthfully, if jiho had gotten a second body, i cannot imagine he would have done similarly. he simply would not have become the handsome and strong saviour of the weak. if anything, he probably would have cozied up to vin jin and become a bully himself.

i dont think daniel would have improved without the confidence his second body gave him and the opportunities it opened to him, but the thing with people is that most don't improve without some kind of support. while his mom tried his best, we see him hiding stuff from her since the beginning as to not worry her, so there's only so much she can do. once he got support tho, just a little, he thrived. jiho, well, is not the same way. he got it, but he focused on the wrong things, and, as the last chapter of his arc pointed out, his schizophrenia didn't help his situation and overall personality.

now, im not sure fighting spirit is the correct term, but english is not my first language so i hope i will be able to make clear what i mean.

so at the beginning of the story neither daniel nor jiho fight. they don't have the confidence, the strength, the technique, etc. they both learn to fight in different parts of their lives: daniel with his friends in an attempt to become better and jiho in prison in an attempt to survive. since they are in such different places for this, we cannot compare them. however, we can compare their spirit.

at every opportunity, daniel is trying to do good. when daniel has to make a tough choice, he doesn't shy away from it. he's making mistakes, and he doesn't let people stop him, but because he cannot conceive giving up now that he knows what he is capable of. on the other hand, jiho fought, sure, and we see he is taking decisive action, but all with the intention of getting a second body so he can escape. daniel even offers him a second chance, despite everything he did, which includes but it is not limited to trying to kill him, and he turns him away to try to kill him again. why? perhaps because it's difficult. it's easier to think you can't change. that way, you can't disappoint yourself. despite what he said, we know it's not because he actually thinks people dont change. his mind didn't conjure an image of his past self trailing after him like a spectre, like a whole ass different person, for nothing. in the end, when refused the chance to escape and fearing betrayal from jake, he committed suicide. jiho didn't sit on the edge the building by mistake. although he didn't know it yet, the moment he had stepped foot on the roof, he had given up.

tldr: despite their similarities, when given a little help, daniel chooses to be better, helps others, and offers second chances. jiho, on the other hand, doesn't.

[davekat-sucks]

Read your rewrite of homestuck and I loved it. I love that it is still true to what Act 6 was but greatly improved. John really did have the ability to get rings for all the characters or I don't know a dead/ doomed godteir feferi could probably have raised the dead. It's stupid to introduce that plot point of her saving someone only for the mayor, who was a mascot character that was never that interesting. The sprites in act 6 were pointless to the point of being stupid. Davesprite and Jadesprite were good but only because this was a plot device used on the main four kids. Rose, Dave, John and Jade deserved special treatment.

Only thing I would change from your rewrite is that the dancestors are still kinda a thing ish. Here's my idea, Aranea is still a ghost. The rest were all destroyed by Lord English or were lost to time. Who cares which. Hell, Maybe the dancestors just had their soul's crushed recently at the amusement of Damara and Aranea is the only one to escape.

When Aranea shows up in the story she talks to Rose alone. Maybe around the time Rose decides to start on her 12 step journey to sobriety. Aranea gives a short explanation of how she survived and then a recap of her friends' story in the same way that Scratch originally talked about ancestors. Quicker, to the point. Everything we got out of the dancestor's life stories, interests, relationships could have been said in one paragraph at most.

Aranea could still have an interest in Jake for his power, but she needed a better more clear motivation. I think Jake needed to work with her of his own free will but he isn't good enough for her liking and then she starts to manipulate him and brainwash him out of desperation. Maybe she is a victory at all cost kind of character? Maybe the years of isolation in space took a toll on her mind? She was by far the worst antagonist and shouldn't have been treated as one, just like she's a threat. Dirk should have actually used his power at some point to destroy a soul, heres a great opportunity to do just that. He could have actually killed her, and not as a manifestation of Jake's imagination, as himself. I still think Meenah is a fun character but she derails the story and her romance with Vriska was a joke when it happened and their breakup was the only payoff. Damara would be an interesting character to fit into the story but she would still just be another servant to Lord English and the empress was enough to fit that bill.

Maybe the dancestors could have still be a thing but as a side comic, not a part of the actual story. I recall a lot of fans enjoying them even though I did not. I feel the same way I do about them as I do all the new trolls in the new media homestuck has. Horuss is cute though.

I think Wayward Vagabond is interesting as a character, since he was the one to lead the revolution to go against his own Black Kingdom. But sadly after his revival, the writers don't write him as an individual and treats him like pet. It shows more with how Dave and Karkat treat him too. They don't see him as a person person. They see him as an object. And the worst part is that they desecrate his grave by keeping Kingdoms despite they had played with him for Can Town to being democratic. Did Karkat and Dave play along as a means to playcate his delusional fantasy? Was it in a mocking way because they will take over Earth C as Kingdoms later on in the future? Either way, they had fun with their toy and were ready to discard his dreams for their own. The only sprite that wasn't useless is ARquiusprite, but only because he is technically an extension of being parts of Lord English. So plot favors him more compared to the other sprites. As well as a joke that even if Equius is fused with AR/Lil HAL, the focus is more on the AI than the troll because the AI overshadows his personality for the most part and Equius being a Void player, his existence is barely there. The only Void player to have acknowledgement from the narrative is Roxy Lalonde. That could work, but confused on parts like how did Aradia became a ghost again if we see that she's become God Tier upon Derse being destroyed? Sure God Tier beings as ghosts is not uncommon as we see in the Dream Bubbles, but how would it get Aradia motivated to speak with the others when she is adamant on staying alive? Not only that, but I still feel miffed about her being the keeper and watcher of Dream Bubbles, when it was technically Feferi Peixies who made it happen. She was nice to her lusus, who was part of the horrorterrors, and it was her kindness that granted her wish to create an afterlife purgatory for her friends. Aradia taking it away because fan favoritism feels wrong. Worse is Meenah Peixies being created as a means to apologize to Feferi fans too. But would have really liked that actual real life Dirk destroys Aranea's soul. Let's kill da hoe! 8iiiiiiiitch! I also wouldn't mind if Dancestors' story is a separate story. Have it really called Openbound.

[brograndpa]

also whos your favorite character compared to the characters you liked going into it? did you expect to like dirkjake from the start? /gen

To answer the second part of your question first, yeah I was pretty sure I'd like them. My girlfriend and I have pretty similar tastes when it comes to ships, so even though it took me a bit to get into them, I was more than willing to enjoy their dynamic. My girlfriend compared them to a crackship we used to fiendishly enjoy together, and I have to say, they really lived up to the hype once I started fixating on them.

First part of your question below because I went off.

I was absolutely not expecting to like John so much. It cannot be overstated how watching John evolve over the course of the earlier acts is what really drove me to see what happened next. Obviously I was interested in the other kids too, but there were lots of points where I was waiting for us to see John advance his own journey.

John's depression is such a natural continuation of his character arc for a boy who mostly went through his young adult life trusting other people to guide him on the right path, and how the retcon ended up affecting his sense of self in the way only Roxy can understand, especially ever since Davepeta fucked off.

From my perspective, I see him as this person who never really had the chance to recognizes the changes happening within him, even though he could tell he was changing. I think it's clear that in post-game, he starts to get this sense that everyone around him is "ahead," while he's still lagging behind. Even his birthday is behind everyone else's.

So to tie this together, a lot of my fascination with John comes from the fact that he feels like a stand-out main character who has a lot of agency in the story, but when you look back, he's only ever been used as a vehicle to direct the story for where it's supposed to be. He is very much a reactive character masquerading as an active one, and I think the epilogues genuinely do a good job of revealing why that fucking sucks for him.

Thanks for letting me use your ask as a vehicle to spout my thoughts on him. And yes, I do love June, I mostly just consider her as characterization that hasn't actually had the chance to be explored proper in canon, but I do see it. It's kind of hard to compete with transfem Jake English drinking all the estrogen in the water supply, but windicuffs moirails can share!

[oceanblueeyes03]

lol

I went to that blog about lean and more attractive L&A. Than N&J.

Luke N more attractive than Nicola. Please the guy with hit tweets how bad he looked compared to the hot Bridgerton stars.. and Luke N get singled out as Nosferatu among them Bridgerton sexy leads with 30,000 likes, the Luke mommies were mad as hell on X.

We know it’s a yucky 🧙Luke grannies who sent it this anon ask, who would like 💩 next to Nicola themselves. They feed off Luke so much the only reason they think and post that A is “hot” is because she is lean.

btw Luke is regularly get big tweets from the get go as not being as attractive as all the other men, not by “shipper” but by the general population of viewers and s2 / s3 leads.

The Luke N grannies see a tall man basic English man and think everyone needs to think he is hot.

And yes I will wait too to see the desperation of the Luke grannies who will go into credit card debt over going to see him. Majority (I’m not saying all) but majority are actual grannies who could be Luke’s mother. 👵👵

They literally Stan a man who is a dumb as a bag of rocks.. and it’s hilarious to see them try to insult Nicola. When we know they sit on socials all day gagging over a man who would laugh in their faces, Luke grannies their husbands if they even have a husband. Probably don’t even fu** them anymore. That’s why they camp online all to defend Luke from any little thing.

😂 these mommies will go crazy for this play.

They all called the Brazilian girlie a stalker for going to jakes play twice. The Luke mommies will go 5 times

[pesterloglog]

Caliborn, Jake English

Act 6, page 5669-5682

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering golgothasTerror [GT]

uu: DON'T DO IT.

GT: Do what now?

uu: WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THAT BITCH.

uu: YOU SHOULD THANK ME FOR DISTRACTING YOU. FROM INITIATING A POINTLESS CONVERSATION.

uu: WITH AN UGLY HOT WOMAN.

GT: Hey take that back roxys my good friend!

GT: Well ok take back all the parts that werent a compliment.

GT: Or wait. Is calling her hot a compliment or is that creepy?

GT: She is certainly pretty. But hearing it come from you sounds lecherous and dastardly!

uu: OH MY FUCK.

uu: SHUT UP.

GT: Heh. Its probably just my instincts as a brave boy kicking in.

GT: The old chivalry bone acting up you know? When i hear a ladys good name getting besmirched i just start seeing red!!!

uu: WOW.

uu: EVEN I THINK YOU SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE RIGHT NOW.

uu: BUT LOOK. JAKE HUMAN.

uu: I DIDN'T COME TO JEER YOU. UNTIL YOU DRIP THE WEIRD FACE WATER OUT OF YOUR SOCKETS.

uu: EVEN THOUGH IT SAYS I'M JEERING YOU AT THE TOP. JUST IGNORE THAT.

GT: Errr.

GT: Alright?

uu: I'M HERE ON A DIFFERENT KIND OF BUSINESS.

uu: I WAS HOPING WE COULD BE MORE "GENTLEMANLY" WITH EACH OTHER.

GT: Gentlemanly you say?

uu: YES.

uu: I EVEN LOOKED IT UP IN ONE OF YOUR EARTH DICTIONARIES TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE I WAS USING THE WORD RIGHT.

uu: DID YOU KNOW. THERE DOES NOT EXIST A FEMALE EQUIVALENT OF THAT WORD?

uu: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING "GENTLEWOMANLY". I LOOKED THAT UP TOO. IT ISN'T THERE.

GT: It isnt?

uu: WELL OK.

uu: IT IS.

uu: BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT'S A REAL WORD.

uu: IT'S TOTALLY MADE UP. AND DOESN'T BELONG THERE.

uu: YOU KNOW WHY IT'S PROBABLY IN THERE?

GT: Um...

uu: BECAUSE SOME SILLY BITCH PUT IT THERE.

uu: TRUST ME. THIS IS NOT A NOTION WHICH APPLIES TO THAT AWFUL GENDER.

uu: FEMALES ARE NOT BIOLOGICALLY EQUIPPED TO BEHAVE REASONABLY. AS PROVEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. BY EMPIRICAL ASSERTION.

uu: THEY ARE VERY SHRILL AND INSANE AND DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THEIR EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL AND THEIR FEELINGS NEVER SHUT UP.

uu: AND WORST OF ALL. GIRLS ARE VERY TRENCHANT TOWARD BOYS WHO WOULD KINDLY INFORM THEM OF THE WAY REALITY FUCKING WORKS.

uu: TALK ABOUT UNGRATEFUL. NO. THERE IS NOTHING WORTHWHILE TO BE GAINED. FROM CHATTING UP THE BITCHES.

uu: AS SUCH. IT IS MY SOLEMN BOYPLEDGE. THAT I WILL NEVER BOTHER SPEAKING WITH YOUR FOUL HUMAN STRUMPETS AGAIN.

GT: Your...

GT: Boypledge?

uu: THROUGH CAREFUL OBSERVATION OF YOUR PARTY. I HAVE DETERMINED THEY ARE BOTH USELESS. AND HOLDING YOU ALL BACK.

uu: ON THE OTHER HAND. BOTH OF YOUR MALE PLAYERS ARE PRETTY GOOD. THE OTHER GUY, AND HIS RED FLOATING MALE GHOST? THEY'RE SO STRONG. IT'S SO GREAT.

uu: I REALLY RESPECT THAT.

GT: Yeah. Dirk is a pretty tough cookie alright...

uu: YOU'RE NOT AS STRONG. BUT WHATEVER. YOU'RE ALRIGHT ANYWAY.

uu: LET'S FACE IT. COMPARED TO THE FECKLESS HOES. YOU'RE IN A CLASS OF YOUR OWN.

GT: But i thought you hated me!

GT: At least thats how i remember it when we last talked.

GT: Which was admittedly a while ago.

GT: Ive never been accused of having a photographic memory but i dont recall you typing in green either.

GT: Are you ripping me off bro??

uu: NO YOU FUCKING MORON.

uu: IF I STOOPED TO YOUR LEVEL. AND DECIDED TO JACK *ANY* PORTION OF YOUR SWAGGER.

uu: DON'T YOU THINK. YOU'D NEED TO EARN MY RESPECT FIRST???

GT: I dont think I understand.

uu: YES. EXACTLY.

uu: UNDERSTANDING IS WHAT I NOTICE YOU DON'T DO. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

uu: THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT JAKE.

uu: IT IS WHY I HAVE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN YOU.

GT: Whys that?

uu: BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB AS A BAG OF TEETH.

uu: I'VE CHECKED YOU OUT. FROM MANY DIFFERENT MONITORS.

uu: YOU ARE JUST. SPECTACULARLY UNINTELLIGENT.

GT: Hey!

uu: SETTLE DOWN. I WAS TRYING TO PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT.

GT: Oh. Whoops.

GT: Go on then.

uu: WHILE TO CASUAL OBSERVERS YOU MIGHT APPEAR. TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW FAR PANTS ARE SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN YOUR LEGS.

uu: I KNOW THAT IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE. YOU ARE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD.

uu: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU JUST HAVE A SPECIAL MIND.

uu: LIKE ME.

GT: You think so?

GT: Not to sound too self obsessed or anything but ive given that some thought.

GT: That maybe there is something special about me that nobody can understand. And maybe thats why i always seem to be botching things up the wazoo with my pals.

GT: Maybe thats why i feel like such a loner. I dunno. Im rambling and ive been thinking about it a lot lately. What about you?

GT: Does being special make you screw the pooch with your friends like it does for me?

uu: UGH. NO. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

uu: FOR MY PEOPLE. THE WORD FOR FRIENDS. IS FLAWS.

GT: Wow really?

uu: PROBABLY NOT? BUT. IT SHOULD BE.

uu: BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. AS A MATTER OF MY PERFECT PHILOSOPHY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

uu: BUT THE FACT THAT YOU CLEARLY HATE YOUR FRIENDS. AND ARE READY TO SHED THEM LIKE THE DRY SKIN OF A SERPENT.

uu: INDICATES THAT WE SHARE A VERY SPECIAL QUALITY AMONG BROTHERLY BROS. WHO MUST WORK HARDER WITH OUR BRAINS THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

uu: SO WE MAY ACHIEVE BRUTAL SUPREMACY OVER THEM ALL.

GT: Haha. Well i wouldnt go that far. I love my friends!

GT: But i was once told i had a lot of potential.

GT: Supposedly thats how all pages are and it takes them for frickin EVER to reach it.

GT: And funnily enough it was a figment of my own subconscious that told me this. A part of my untapped potential itself! But disguised as my best bro which was...

GT: Peculiar to say the least.

GT: Is that your situation? Are you a page too?

uu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

uu: HELL NO. BUT THANKS FOR THE LAUGH.

uu: MY CLASS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS. IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. EVEN THOUGH I JUST LAUGHED.

uu: MINE IS THE BEST OF ALL. WHILE YOURS IS FUCKING TRASH.

GT: Oh? Whats yours then?

uu: LORD.

GT: Fine then jeez.

GT: Sorry for asking!

uu: WHAT?

uu: NO.

uu: THAT WAS NOT A SHORT REMARK OF FRUSTRATION.

uu: IT WAS THE ANSWER DUMBASS.

GT: Oh.

uu: IT'S THE MASTER CLASS.

uu: DON'T YOU LOSERS DO ANY HOMEWORK ON THIS GAME.

uu: YOU'D THINK YOU WOULD ALL BE EXPERTS. WITH HOW MUCH MY SISTER HARANGUED YOU ON THIS TEDIOUS SHIT.

uu: SINCE I HAVE HAD GREAT SUCCESS SO FAR. IN PROGRESSING THROUGH THIS DEAD SESSION. I DECIDED. IT WAS TIME TO BITE THAT BULLET.

uu: AND RETURN HOME. TO RETRIEVE ALL OF HER TERRIBLE TEXTS ON THE SUBJECT OF THIS GAME. AND OF YOUR STORY.

uu: I HAVE PORED OVER EVERY NAUSEATING VERSE. IT HAS BEEN A TRUE EXERCISE IN AGONY. FEW COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY SUFFERING.

uu: BUT THAT'S OK.

uu: BECAUSE I'M NOT THE IDIOT KID I USED TO BE. NOW I KNOW. THAT WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME TO LEARN AND GROW STRONGER.

uu: IS EXCRUCIATING EFFORT.

uu: SO I HAVE A CHOICE. WHICH IS TO EITHER BE WEAK.

uu: WHEN WEAKNESS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

uu: OR TO SUFFER. FOREVER. UNTIL NO ONE ELSE EXISTS.

uu: WHO IS STRONGER THAN ME.

uu: AND THAT'S YOUR CHOICE TOO.

uu: PAGE HUMAN ENGLISH.

GT: Sakes alive.

GT: That is a bit extreme no?

uu: FOR YOU. PROBABLY EVEN MORE SO.

uu: BECAUSE AS A LOWLY PAGE. AND AS AN EVEN LOWLIER HUMAN. YOU ARE UTTERLY WORTHLESS.

uu: AND SO YOUR TRIALS I BELIEVE MUST INCLUDE. PROVING TO PARADOX SPACE THAT YOU EVEN DESERVE TO EXIST. IN THE FIRST PLACE.

uu: AND WHILE MY TRIALS WILL BE SIMILARLY GRUELING. A LORD'S WORTHINESS IS AT NO POINT EVER IN DOUBT.

uu: HIS NOBILITY IS MANIFEST. SUPREME MASTERY WAITS FOR HIM PATIENTLY. LIKE AN EMPTY THRONE UNDER HEAVY GUARD.

uu: REALITY ALREADY KNOWS I WILL PREVAIL. JUST AS IT KNEW I WOULD PREDOMINATE.

uu: AND SO INEVITABILITY IS ALWAYS ON MY SIDE.

uu: IT IS MY. WHAT DO YOU CALL IT.

uu: BORTHRIGHT?

uu: BORTHRIGHT.

GT: I dont think thats a word.

GT: But hey you are the lord and i am the lowly page.

uu: DAMN STRAIGHT.

uu: NEVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO SERVE.

GT: Now just a minute buddy. Lets not get carried away.

GT: I have no intention of serving you. In fact im not even sure why im still talking to you!

GT: Youre lucky that my manners are impeccable otherwise i would have blocked you already, what with the scandalous way you have characterized my ladyfriends alone.

GT: Its all well and good you think we have some things in common but i wont fall for it!

GT: Maybe its true at times i can be a little slow on the uptake but i will not be sweet talked into doing the bidding for a silver tongued cur!!!

GT: So to you sir lord i must say GOOD DAY.

uu: JAKE.

uu: YOU STUPID SHIT.

uu: HOW CAN YOU BE THIS DUMB.

uu: ALRIGHT. FIRST OF ALL. MY TONGUE IS NOT SILVER. THAT'S VERY CLOSE TO BEING INSULTING TO ME.

GT: Whatever! Look i know you are not the most quickwitted fella either, so i must inform you this is what we call a "figure of speech."

GT: You know. Like if i said you speak with a forked tongue. Not unlike LUCIFER HIMSELF!!!

uu: BUT. I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A FORKED TONGUE.

GT: Oh...

GT: Really?

uu: WAIT IS THAT SERIOUSLY AN INSULT IN YOUR CULTURE? HOW IS THAT INSULTING??

GT: It just means you arent trustworthy, and i should not be lulled by your false promises.

uu: WOW. OK. WOW.

uu: FIRST. NOT ONLY ARE YOU AN IMBECILE. YOU'RE A FUCKING RACIST TOO.

GT: No im not!

uu: JAKE. YOU JUST SAID SOME RACIST SHIT. END OF STORY.

uu: SECOND OF ALL. I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR A DAMN THING.

uu: AS IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER ME AT ALL.

uu: THE VERY IDEA THAT YOU COULD IN ANY WAY IMPROVE MY EXISTENCE. IS ALMOST AS OFFENSIVE AS. YOUR FLAGRANT RACISM.

uu: THERE'S NO "DEAL WITH THE DEVIL" BULLSHIT GOING ON HERE.

uu: I'M OFFERING TO HELP YOU. STRICTLY AS A PRO BONO ARRANGEMENT.

uu: MY ASSISTANCE WILL BE. AN UNCONDITIONAL ACT OF BENEVIOLENCE.

GT: Dont you mean benevolence?

uu: NO.

GT: Um. Ok then.

GT: But why do you want to help me?

GT: Is it really just because you relate to me and therefore want me to succeed?

uu: LET'S NOT BE TOO SENTIMENTAL HERE. I MEAN. YEAH. I GUESS THERE'S OUR COMMON GROUND.

uu: BUT WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO DO. IS GROOM A WORTHY ADVERSARY.

uu: IF I HELP YOU REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL. AS A PAGE OF HOPE. YOU COULD BECOME EXTREMELY POWERFUL SOME DAY.

uu: MAYBE EVEN POWERFUL ENOUGH TO POSE A CHALLENGE TO ME. OR MAYBE EVEN ENOUGH TO BEAT ME.

uu: WHEN I SAID "MEANT TO SERVE". SERVE MEANT MORE THAN ONE THING. YOU KNOW. LIKE KICK MY ASS??

uu: WOULDN'T YOU LIKE THAT JAKE? DON'T YOU LIKE TO ROUGHHOUSE?

uu: OR MAYBE I HAD YOU WRONG. MAYBE YOU ARE IN FACT A GIRLY MAN. WHO DOES NOT LIKE TO ROUGHHOUSE.

GT: Hey watch it now. Youre DARN TOOTIN i love to roughhouse!!!

uu: EXCELLENT.

uu: THEN OUR COMMITMENT IS SEALED. I WILL HELP YOU REACH YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

uu: LET US MARK THIS PLEDGE. WITH A SPECIAL NEW DESKTOP WALLPAPER I HAVE DRAWN FOR YOU.

GT: Huh??

uu: IT IS HOW I ENVISION THE IDEALIZED DEPICTION. OF OUR COLLABORATIVE BROSMANSHIP.

uu: I HAVE BEEN GETTING SO MUCH BETTER LATELY. WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK AS USUAL.

uu: I AM ABLE TO BRING THE MANY SMALL ANGLES MOSTLY UNDER CONTROL. TO SIMULATE THE ILLUSION. OF PHOTO REALISTIC FORMS OF COLOR AND LIGHT.

uu: JAKE. I GIVE YOU.

uu: THE FINE ARTS:

uu: http://tinyurl.com/JAKETHISISUS

GT: Whoa.

GT: Thats uh.

GT: Mighty special.

uu: GO ON. APPLY IT TO YOUR DEVICE.

uu: I WILL WAIT.

GT: Yeah um.

GT: Maybe later?

uu: NO. DO IT NOW.

GT: I dont think i want it to be honest.

GT: No offense its actually just really shitty.

uu: APPLY THE WALLPAPER THIS FUCKING INSTANT YOU CRETINOUS PHILISTINE. OR THE DEAL'S OFF.

GT: Ok fine!

GT: Gad freaking zooks. Just what i need another pushy bro in my life.

GT: This secret training of yours better be worth it!

uu: IT'S NOT TRAINING.

uu: IT'S JUST SOME GUIDANCE FROM A FAR AWAY ALIEN.

uu: I WILL BE YOUR PATRON TROLL. THAT'S LIKE THIS WHOLE THING IN YOUR STORY. HAVING A PATRON TROLL.

GT: But i thought you werent a troll.

uu: OF COURSE I'M NOT A TROLL. TROLLS ARE A KIND OF PESTILENT VERMIN AND THEY SHOULD ALL SUFFER AND DIE.

uu: "PATRON TROLL" IS JUST A PHRASE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND.

GT: Its not helping me understand though.

GT: Shoudlnt you be a patron cherub if anything?

uu: NO. GOD. DON'T MAKE UP TERMS FOR WHAT I AM. I WILL DO THAT.

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE.

uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO.

GT: Sounds pretty gay.

uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

GT: Whats what?

uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK.

GT: Oh right.

GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo.

GT: Its like...

GT: How do i explain.

GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together.

GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay."

uu: I SEE.

uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT.

uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL.

GT: Oh goody. Just the way i like my hijinks!

GT: So how do we start.

uu: THERE'S NOT MUCH TO THIS.

uu: I JUST TELL YOU SOME SHIT TO DO. AND THEN YOU DO IT.

uu: AND THE ULTIMATE DUMBNESS OF IT ALL IS. YOU PROBABLY WERE GOING TO DO A LOT OF IT ANYWAY.

GT: I was?

GT: How was i going to do the stuff if you didnt tell me to?

GT: You mean i was going to do it like on accident?

uu: NO. THE THING IS. I THINK I WAS ALWAYS GOING TO TELL YOU.

GT: I dont understand.

uu: NEITHER DO I.

GT: Ok then.

GT: Im glad we settled that.

uu: BUT I KIND OF GET IT ON SOME LEVEL.

uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS.

uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE.

uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY.

uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY.

uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING.

uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER.

uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR.

uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS.

uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE.

uu: RETROACTIVELY.

GT: Hmmmmm...

GT: Nope!

GT: Dont reckon i understand much of that either.

GT: But i guess im not supposed to. Me not being a time maestro or what have you.

GT: I guess i should be boning up on hope though. What can you tell me about that?

uu: I DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT HOPE.

uu: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FORCE OF "UNPARALLELED POWER". BUT REALLY. IT SOUNDS SO LAME.

uu: BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHY IT MAKES SENSE THAT IT'S YOUR ASPECT.

uu: YOU STRIKE ME AS A GUY WHO IS LAME ENOUGH. TO HOPE SOMEONE TO DEATH. SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL *ME* ABOUT IT??

GT: Tell you about hope?

GT: Um well its something i think everyone should have in their hearts.

uu: I KNEW IT. YOU JUST SAID.

uu: THE LAMEST POSSIBLE THING.

GT: But i wasnt finished!

uu: FUCK.

GT: Hope to me is all about believing in stuff.

GT: If you believe in stuff then everything feels like its going to turn out ok.

GT: And if you believe in stuff with enough gusto i dare say it imbues that stuff with a pinch more chutzpah. Even the fake stuff!

GT: And then if you keep an open mind and adventurous spirit, that chutzpah flows directly into your heart, and thats when YOU have the power.

GT: So i think if hope grants one the power to smite villainy and vanquish hooligans thats probably where it comes from!

uu: NO.

uu: OH GOD. NO.

uu: THAT IS ACTUALLY THE WORST THING I'VE EVER READ.

uu: THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT.

GT: Well THERES your problem dude. You dont want to BELIEVE!

GT: Just let go and believe in things. Then youll find you had the power in you all along.

uu: YOU ARE SO DUMB. I JUST KEEP CAN'T BELIEVING IT. HOW TRULY STUPID YOU ARE.

uu: WHATEVER. FORGET I ASKED.

uu: I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND OUT WHAT HOPE IS REALLY ABOUT. INSTEAD OF THAT INSIPID BULLSHIT.

uu: ONCE YOU BECOME A GOD TIER.

GT: How do i do that?

uu: YOU GO TO PROSPIT. GET ON YOUR QUEST SARSWAPAGUS. AND FUCKING DIE.

GT: Die???

uu: YEAH. YOU OFF YOURSELF WITHOUT HESITATION.

uu: OR FAILING THAT. DUE TO PATHETIC COWARDICE.

uu: YOU WAIT AROUND TO BE SLAIN SERENDIPITOUSLY.

uu: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I HAVE ALL THIS UNDER CONTROL.

uu: IT'S ONE OF THE WAYS I'M HELPING YOU TO THE TOP.

GT: Ok then. I will choose to believe you.

GT: See what i did there? I just scored a few more hope points!

GT: By strengthening my trust in you as well as our burgeoning friendship.

GT: Oh also, friendship is a HUGE key to being good at hope. I forgot to mention that.

uu: GROAN.

uu: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU CHALLENGE ME.

uu: SO I CAN BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH MY CANE.

GT: Me neither!

GT: So you say you will help me be a god tier...

GT: But there are other ways you will help too?

uu: YES.

uu: I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A GIFT.

uu: IT IS MY JUJU.

GT: Neat!

GT: But what the bejesus is a juju?

uu: I REALLY FIND IT HARD. TO COMPREHEND WHAT SORT OF ASSHOLE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A JUJU IS.

uu: BUT SINCE I AM YOUR PATRON MANBRO. I WILL PUT ASIDE THOSE FEELINGS. AND ATTEMPT TO BE A LITTLE MORE GAY.

GT: That would be hunky dory.

GT: In my view distinguished gentlemen should always strive to be as gay as possible with each other.

uu: AMEN TO FUCKING THAT.

uu: ANYWAY. A JUJU IS A MAGICAL THING. IT HAS NO REAL BEGINNING OR END.

uu: THEY'RE JUST ALWAYS AROUND. THERE FOR YOU.

uu: YOU GROW UP WITH THEM. AND THEY BRING YOU COMFORT. AND YOU NEVER QUESTION THEIR EXISTENCE.

uu: IT'S LIKE SOME OF THE SHIT YOU HAD IN YOUR ROOM AS A KID. EXCEPT NOT USELESS GARBAGE. AND MORE MAGICAL.

uu: THEY ALWAYS HAVE RULES. AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE OWNERS.

uu: YOU CAN TAKE SOMEONE'S JUJU. IF THE OWNER WAS KILLED.

uu: OR IF HE GIVES IT TO YOU FREELY. LIKE I'M DOING.

uu: SO I WILL GIVE YOU THE CODE TO MAKE IT YOURSELF.

uu: ONCE YOU DO. IT SHOULD DISAPPEAR FROM MY CHEST. AND IT WILL NO LONGER BE MINE.

GT: Sounds straight forward enough.

GT: Whats the code?

uu: IT IS:

uu: uROBuROS

uu: BE CAREFUL. THAT IS CASE SENSITIVE.

GT: Ok.

uu: I WOULD TELL YOU THE CODE FOR MY SISTER'S JUJU. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

uu: A WHILE AGO I WENT TO GET HER JUJU. BUT THE FUCKING THING WAS GONE ALREADY.

uu: I THINK THE CRAFTY BITCH ALREADY GAVE IT AWAY.

GT: Hmm.

GT: We could try to guess it maybe?

uu: FORGET IT. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE PROBABLY INFINITE.

GT: Yeah. Youre probably right.

GT: So what sort of magical properties does your juju have?

uu: I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT DOES.

uu: I HAVE NEVER TRIED IT. BECAUSE IT WAS TOO PRECIOUS TO ME.

uu: WHATEVER MINE DOES. MY SISTER'S PROBABLY DOES THE OPPOSITE THING.

uu: BUT WHAT THEY DO INDIVIDUALLY. PALES IN COMPARISON TO WHAT THEY CAN DO TOGETHER.

uu: WHEN COMBINED. THE JUJUS BECOME THE MOST MAGIC THING EVER.

uu: THEY CAN MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. AND EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. WILL MAGICALLY FALL INTO PLACE.

GT: Really?

GT: That sounds almost too good to be true.

GT: If you dont even know what your juju does by itself why do you think they do that together?

uu: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT WITH ALL MY FUCKING HEART. YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.

GT: Oh why didnt you say so! Thats all i needed to hear!!!

GT: See youre getting the hang of hope already.

uu: YEAH. I GUESS.

uu: THE BOTTOM LINE IS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

uu: JUST TAKE MY JUJU. HAVE FAITH IN YOUR PATRON DUDE. AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME.

GT: Roger that mr lord.

GT: Say. Dont you have a name? We know your sisters name... cant we know yours now too?

uu: NO.

uu: THERE ARE MANY THINGS YOU SHOULDNT KNOW ABOUT ME. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

uu: IF YOU KNEW THEM. IF YOU EVEN KNEW MY NAME.

uu: YOU WOULD SHIT YOUR PANTS HARDER THAN ANY HUMAN EVER HAS.

uu: SO YOU MAY CONTINUE REFERRING TO ME AS YOUR LORD.

GT: Well i surely dont want to spoil any clean trousers.

GT: Even though your warning sounds a little hyperbolic i will trust you.

GT: Um. My lord.

GT: Heheheh when i call you that people could mistake our conversation for a nefarious and underhanded collusion among felons!

uu: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GT: As you wish... MY LORD.

GT: HEHEHEHEHEH!

uu: UGH.

GT: So lord. May i ask...

GT: Why are you giving me your juju if it is so dear to you?

GT: Is your commitment to this manbro boypledge of yours really that strong?

GT: If so im really impressed. I would have a really hard time giving my favorite stuff away to a total stranger.

uu: DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.

uu: THE GESTURE IS RELATIVELY MEANINGLESS. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS.

uu: I HAVE FOUND A NEW JUJU. A MUCH BETTER JUJU.

uu: A JUJU THAT MAKES ALL OTHER JUJUS LOOK LIKE FRIVOLOUS CHILDISH NONSENSE IN COMPARISON.

GT: Yeah? Then that is quite a treasure you found.

GT: Where did you get it? Did you plunder a tomb or such?

uu: SORT OF.

uu: IT WAS EXCAVATED FROM THIS PLANET'S SOIL.

uu: ALONG WITH SOME OTHER ARTIFACTS.

uu: AND GIVEN TO ME.

uu: BY MY INFURIATING ASSHOLE MENTOR.

uu: A MAN WHO IS AN INVINCIBLE CLOWN.

GT: Well that sounds nice of him. He cant be that much of an asshole if he gave you such a nice present can he?

uu: NO, BELIEVE ME. HE CAN.

GT: I had a clown give me a nice present once too. I would never have met my good friend mr erisol without the kindness of that clown.

uu: YEAH. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING CLOWN SOMEHOW.

uu: I'M TELLING YOU. THIS ASSHOLE IS ETERNAL. AND THE BEINGS HE CREATES FOR YOUR PARTY ARE DISGUSTING ABOMINATIONS.

uu: BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO? NOTHING, I HAVE LEARNED. HE'S A CLOWN. THE RULES ARE. CLOWNS CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. BECAUSE OF MIRACLES. AND HOLD NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR DEEDS.

uu: I DON'T LIKE IT. BUT THOSE ARE THE RULES.

GT: So whats this juju he gave you?

uu: SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.

uu: A WONDERFUL LITTLE FALSE MAN.

uu: AND THE IRONY IS. I HAVE SEEN HIM BEFORE.

uu: BUT I REGARDED HIM WITH SUSPICION AND FEAR.

uu: I WAS A FOOL THOUGH. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SPECIAL BOND WITH HIM THAT I HAD.

uu: BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE. TO GAZE SOULFULLY INTO HIS BEAUTIFUL EYES.

uu: AND COMMUNE WITH THE DOLL. IN A PERSONAL AND INTIMATE WAY.

GT: Gosh...

GT: That might just be the gayest thing ive ever heard.

uu: THANK YOU.

uu: YOUR HUMAN CONCEPT OF GAYNESS. ADEQUATELY DESCRIBES THE FEELINGS I HAVE. WHEN I EMBRACE MY PERFECT FLOPPY LITTLE MAN.

uu: THE THING IS. I UNDERSTAND HIM MORE NOW.

uu: BEFORE I THOUGHT HE WAS A CURSED VESSEL OF MISFORTUNE. WHICH SEEMED EERILY EMPTY TO ME.

uu: HE WAS HOLLOW. NOT YET FILLED WITH BAD JUJU.

uu: AND LOOKING IN HIS EYES NOW. I SEE. THAT I WAS RIGHT. ALMOST.

uu: HE IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW. BUT A JUJU FOLLOWS A LONG AND WINDING PATH ON ITS ETERNAL JOURNEY.

uu: AND HE WILL NOT BE EMPTY FOREVER.

uu: SOMEWHERE ALONG HIS JOURNEY.

uu: IN SOME WAY I DON'T UNDERSTAND YET.

uu: HE WILL STOP BEING EMPTY.

uu: AND HIS CURSE WILL COME TO LIFE.

uu: AND WHEREVER HE GOES. TO WHATEVER UNIVERSE OR PLANE OF REALITY.

uu: ALL WHO EXIST THERE. WILL EXPERIENCE NOTHING BUT MISERY AND DEATH.

uu: YOU SEE. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A CURSED JUJU.

uu: WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT HIM BEFORE.

uu: BUT ALL ALONG. THERE WAS NOTHING FOR ME TO FEAR.

uu: BECAUSE NOW I KNOW. THROUGH INTENSIVE COMMUNION WITH THIS PRECIOUS MYSTICAL PUPPET.

uu: THAT THE CURSE WHICH WILL BLOSSOM IN HIS FLUFFY HEART. WILL DO SO.

uu: BECAUSE OF ME!

uu: I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.

uu: BUT WHEN I LOOK DEEP INTO HIS EYES.

uu: I CAN FEEL HIM OUT THERE.

uu: IN LATER STAGES OF HIS LIFE.

uu: BY WHICH I MEAN.

uu: I CAN FEEL *MYSELF*.

uu: THROUGH HIM SOMEHOW.

uu: AS IF MY ESSENCE WILL ONE DAY BECOME.

uu: ENTANGLED WITH THE VOID.

uu: AND THEN MYSTERIOUSLY ACCESSIBLE.

uu: THROUGH MY SOFT HAPPY PAL.

uu: AND ALL THOSE ALONG THE WAY.

uu: WHO HE DEEMS WORTHY.

uu: OF ACCEPTING INTO HIS CUSTODY.

uu: IF THEY SHOULD DARE TO FONDLY GAZE.

uu: INTO HIS SPARKLING BABY BLUES.

uu: THEY WILL BE PEERING THROUGH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WINDOWS.

uu: INTO MY HIDEOUS SOUL.

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [6]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, barely proofread, i lowkey don't like this chap but it's cute, fluff and angst, silly siblings, sad Jake.

Word count: 3,1k

previous chapter

next chapter

Your flight back to high camp was amazing. Walking through the forest was something enchanting, out of a fairy tale, but the view from above was something so unrealistic. Colors of green, pink, and blue covered the ground beneath you, and the way the animals climbed the trees or flew just under you. You still couldn't believe where you were. You let go of the reins Neteyam told you to hold and you slightly get up from your seat, holding your body up as you tried to get a better view of everything around you. Neteyam frantically holds onto your arm, "sit down! You're going to fall!"

"As if you would let me fall, who will take care of my younger brother then?" You playfully hit him in the chest with your elbow. Lo'ak then came gliding next to the two of you, "bro! Did you already think of the excuse you're giving mom and dad by being late and bringing (Y/N) with us?" Neteyam groans in response, "I will think of something as an excuse. We are going to hide her in high camp until tomorrow morning by then." You huffed at his words, "hide me in high camp? What are you going to put me in? In a fucking woven bag?!" Lo'ak answered your question as a matter of fact, "I mean, you would easily fit in the bag?" You were ready to jump from Neteyam's Ikran right onto Loak's Ikran, ready to pounce on him. He might be your much younger brother, but you weren't afraid to fight the Na'vi right there and then. "Sis please!" Neteyam wraps his arm around your waist to pull you down, keeping you in place. Even though you were older than them, you had childish traits he thought you wouldn't have. Is this the effect of growing up early and finally feeling free? Would he get to experience that too one day?

As they approached high camp, the horns were heard through the night skies to notify the clan of a return, their return. Kiri facepalmed and looked at Neteyam, "well, there goes your plan. Ready to face the wrath?" His spine shuddered at the question, imagining the wrath of his mother if they took their sister to the clan, but they didn't have another choice now, did they? They couldn't leave you alone out in the open and you were supposed to get here tomorrow anyway, so might as well make you settle down, right? The three Ikrans land right at the opening of the mountains and your four Na'vi siblings climb off it with ease, meanwhile you struggle to get off the animal. You never rode a horse before, imagine a banshee ten times the size. Alright, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the banshees were huge compared to your human self. You huffed in embarrassment as you had a hard time getting off. You were one of the finest warriors and embarrassing yourself in front of a whole clan wasn't on your bucket list, definitely not. Neteyam held your legs as helped you down and you silently thanked him for doing so. The clan surrounded the five of you, standing in a half circle as they stared at you, either with curiosity or weariness. You felt watched, but not in a good way. You were a sky human after all, demon blood in their eyes. Neteyam stepped in front of you, half-shielding you from the prying eyes of his clan, "mawey Na'vi, mawey!" His chest puffed out as he spoke, shoulders broad. You watched him in awe. He was still a child, yet a fine warrior and respected by all. He would be such a good Olo'eyktan. The Na'vi made way as the Tsahik and her daughter passed through, moving to the front with ease as the clan parted like the red sea. You moved away from behind Neteyam, now standing right next to him as you brought your hand to your forehead, "Oel Ngati Kameie." You greeted Mo'at and Neytiri with respect once they were right in front of the crowd.

"I already expected your arrival, (Y/N) Sully." You're shocked that the Tsahik herself announced the news, just like that. The clan started whispering amongst themselves at the mention of the Olo'eyktan's last name and you felt yourself crumbling through the ground. Even Neytiri, your stepmother (?), looked surprised. You didn't know if that surprised expression was meant for the fact her mother announced it or the fact you're her mate's daughter. "I'm- thank you for having me." You bowed your head to show your gratitude, then your gaze traveled to Neytiri. She was already looking at you with those yellow eyes that had so much emotion hidden in them. You felt like she had a lot to say and you felt the same. "My people, mawey. Welcome (Y/N) Sully, daughter of the Olo'eyktan like she's one of our people. She's here to protect us from the dangerous sky demons." Mo'at had her back turned to you as she spoke to her people, emphasizing the fact that you're Jake Sully's child. If she did this to keep you safe, you are in debt to her. Yet, wouldn't something like this make it more complicated? Since you emotionally disowned him as your father? You did, right? You're getting pulled out of your thoughts by a hand harshly wrapping around your wrist. Your head turned to the person in front of you, it was Neytiri. She didn't say anything as she pulled you away from the crowd. Your breath hitched in your mask as you grew nervous, but you didn't complain. She didn't rip your head off, so she wanted to talk to you, right? Tuk looked after you as her mother pulled you away. She looked over at her big brother as she tugged his loincloth, "what is happening?" Tuk was still young, she didn't understand anything that was happening. "It's okay, Tuk! Let's get some food" Lo'ak patted her head, his hands running through her locks. Kiri nodded in agreement, taking Tuk's hand and pulling her to the fire to get their dinner. Neteyam looked after you as his mom and his sister entered their pod, hoping things wouldn't turn more complicated for you.

"Ma'am, what did you want to talk about?" You asked politely once you entered the pod, yet still tried to push her to get to the point. You still remembered how she acted when you taunted your father for questioning his parenting. Neytiri closed the flap of the entrance as she turned to you, cautiously walking over to you. Once she was close enough, she got on her knees for the height difference to not be too intimidating as she spoke, "You're my mate's daughter." You didn't know if it was a question or an extra form of confirmation, but you nodded your head yes. "And you're human." You nodded your head again. "I don't like you, you reek of demon blood." You rolled your eyes. You had to see that one coming."But tell me, child." Your head tilted to the side as you watched her in confusion. Tell her? Tell her what exactly? Neytiri could sense your confusion, so she continued explaining, "what happened, child. Tell your part." You knew it was a demand, yet you couldn't sense a lot of grudges. Her tone was stern and demanding, but not hateful. It was the voice of a wise woman, a wise mother. You decided to make yourself comfortable: taking a seat, sitting your butt on the soft woven carpets as you leaned against the wooden wall. "He was an amazing dad. He didn't see himself as it, but he tried. He tried for me and that's what made him amazing." You fiddled with your mask as you didn't know where to keep your hands, obviously nervous about telling Neytiri about all this. She nodded in understanding, taking a seat as well as she kept quiet to let you continue at your own pace. "Then he left so suddenly and he never returned. I had to hear from the people around me where he went. I waited for years and eventually gave up." Your hands were now lying in your lap as you moved your legs in a cross-legged position, much more comfortable than your last one, "until this day, I hold a grudge against him. He abandoned me, so I am giving him a taste of his own medicine." You didn't notice that your eyes were once again welling up with tears. Your left hand moved towards your mask to try and push it closer towards your face in an attempt to hide. Thank Eywa the mask wasn't transparent. Neytiri leaned towards you, even though she was very weary of you, she awkwardly extended her arm towards you to wipe your tears. Only for a few seconds as she pulled her hand away quickly, but your eyes still widened at the gesture, not knowing how to feel about all this, "you're a strong child with a strong heart, for a sky demon." She then got up and out of the pod. Now that you were finally alone, you once again got lost in your thoughts as you thought about your father.

Once Jake left to Eywa-knows-where, she turned to the backdoor of the pod, "I know you're there. All of you." Neteyam was the first to walk out with his ears flat against his head, followed by Lo'ak, Kiri and Tuk. She looked at her children with a sigh as they all held a guilty yet innocent facade up. "If she's dad's daughter, our sister.. would you hate her?" Lo'ak was the first to speak up. Neteyam wanted to honestly hit him on the back of his head for asking questions like that, but he continued, "she's putting her life in danger for us, therefore she's not so bad right? Dad would have wanted you to try if she's his." Those words hit Neytiri like a truck. Even if she hated sky demons, her mate used to be one and he changed a lot in just a few weeks. Why not her? Being the adorable girl that Tuk is, she chimed into the conversation, "Mom I want to meet her! Can I meet her? Another sibling yay!" Neytiri's canines pierced through her bottom lip as she thought. She still disliked you, also because you were a sky demon. She was conflicted with her feelings, but then she thought about Jake's sad expression. She would be willing to try, for him. Just like how he always tried for her.

From the corner of his eye, Lo'ak noticed how his mother left the pod, meaning you were alone now. At the same time, a horn went off, indicating an arrival. All their heads turned to the opening of the mountain, noticing a familiar ikran about to land. Their father. The four siblings exchanged a look and Neteyam spoke up, "Kiri get some fruits for her and get her away from there. Tuk, Lo'ak, and I will take care of dad. Go!" Kiri followed his orders as she ran to get some leftovers for you to eat, meanwhile, Neteyam immediately went to his father. Lo'ak crouched down to his youngest sibling, "Okay, so don't say anything about sis (Y/N) alright? Dad can't know yet, alright?" Tuk didn't really understand what he meant, but she just nodded as a response, "yes!"

"Sister (Y/N)?" You removed your face from your knees as you were sitting with your knees to your chest, "Oh Kiri, what's wrong?" She walked towards you with a bunch of fruits in her arms, "I got these for you." You chuckled at the small gesture, "thank you so much, but I hope you know I can't eat all that." She looked at the fruits in her arms, "I mean, rather too much than not enough, right? Come on, let's go to the Tsahik." It looked like she was in a rush and you raised your eyebrows at her, "Kiri, what's up? You look tense?" You got up from the ground. "Just follow me!" She already walked out before you could answer her, leaving you all confused and lost. But you obeyed her and followed suit after her.

"My children please just let me be for tonight, I'm tired." Jake wanted to be alone right now. His heart ached in his chest and his eyes were bloodshot red as his tears were drying up. He wanted to find Mo'at and talk to her. "We want to show you something, you must come!" Neteyam never asked something like this of his dad, not since he was ten years old. So this made him feel suspicious. "Yes! Tuk made something so beautiful and she wants to show it, right Tuk!" Lo'ak made up the quickest thing he could think of, eyes gazing down at Tuk who didn't know what to say. She glanced at Neteyam who nodded, so she looked into his eyes with determination, "Yes! You must follow us!"

You sat in Mo'at's tent as Kiri cut up some fruit for you. The moment the two of you entered the tent, she knew that you needed a moment for yourself and left the tent in your hands. You sat on one of the mats as Kiri sat next to you, cutting the fruits up for you to eat. You inhaled into your oxygen mask, letting the oxygen flow through your lungs before you removed the mask, took a piece of freshly cut fruit and popped it in your mouth, reattaching the mask to your mouth to gasp. Kiri watched you in awe as you chewed your food, "that's honestly so cool." She quickly finished up and put her hunter's knife back on her hip. "Eat well and rest up, alright? You got a long day ahead of you tomorrow." "Goodnight and thank you" the two of you exchanged a smile as she left the tent. You continued eating your pieces of fruit in peace, listening to the sound of the clan talking as their laughs filled the air. You popped a fruit in your mouth before reattaching your mask, smiling as you knew you made a good decision. They deserved to be protected.

"What is up with the three of you?" Jake grew frustrated at his children. They were standing in the pod for at least twenty minutes as the three rambled about the most bullshit subjects. "Do you know that I made this flower crown?" "Yes, you told me last week, Tuk." He tried once again to exit the pod, but Neteyam jumped in front of it as he scratched the back of his head, looking at Lo'ak for any other excuse. He was the best at pulling bullshit out of his ass after all. But also Lo'ak was quiet as his ears were pressed firmly against his head. "Well then, if you have nothing to say anymore. I have somewhere to be." His two sons stood there in defeat as they let their dad through, but then Tuk grabbed onto her father's hand, "no you can't!! (Y/N) will be upset if we let you go to her!!" Lo'ak immediately put his hand over Tuk's mouth as Neteyam coughed through that sentence, but unfortunately for them Jake already heard it. To check if he indeed heard that correctly, he crouched down to meet Tuk's gaze, "Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, remove that hand from your sister. Tuk, what did you say?" Her eyes were now also pressed against her head, knowing she said the wrong thing while trying to help her brothers, "uhm.. I said.." she felt overwhelmed as her dad continued to pressure her into telling, making her lips quiver. That was the point when Lo'ak had enough, "you are a terrible father you know that?!" The young Na'vi exploded as he yelled into his father's face. "You abandoned (Y/N) in the most terrible way possible! And now you suddenly crave forgiveness?! You need to earn that! You can't just go around yelling your 'sorries' while sobbing and not do anything?!" His fists were balled as his ears perked up, his tail standing tall, "she has a right to be upset and instead of sulking around you need to talk to her without the need to use your excuses!" And off he went. If he was a cartoon, the steam would have been leaving his ears. He needed to cool off. Neteyam watched his dad's expression falter, knowing Lo'ak was right with every word he said. He silently told Tuk to come with him, as he raised Tuk in his arms, holding her against his hip. "Did I do something wrong?" "No sweetheart, this needed to be done." And the two left the pod, leaving Jake all on his own as he stood still like a statue, painful breaths leaving his lips. He thought it was impossible, but more tears rolled down. Then he remembered Tuk's words. You're here, his daughter is here.

And he knew exactly where to check.

Jake moved from healer's tent to healer's tent. He knew that if you were hiding somewhere, it was somewhere in this area, the healing tents. He swiftly moved from tent to tent in search of your small frame. He eventually got to the biggest tent right in the middle, Mo'ats tent. He ripped the flap open and there you were, sleeping peacefully with the mask on your face to keep you alive. The skin under your eyes were stained with dried tears and a sob left his lips. "My baby.." he moved inside and closed to flap. He knew you didn't want to see him, especially if you woke up, but Lo'ak was right. He needed to try with all his might now, not with only his excuses and words, but also with his actions to show you that he cared for you, like a father. He quietly sat down next you, taking your small hand in his. You moved a bit in your sleep, making Jake tense in his movements, but then you stopped as you rolled a bit closer towards him, towards the warmth you felt. A genuine smile finally plastered his face, he felt at peace.

For now, he decided to enjoy this moment,

not knowing if it would be the last or not.

A/N: another update!! Hope you enjoyed!! And thank you so much for the followers, almost at 2k is a huge achievement! Tell me what you thought of this part. <3 now I'm gonna go ahead and work on my novella fr.

Taglist in the comments!!

[vivalarevolution]

𝓜𝓮𝓵𝓸𝓭𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓪

Jake Sully x Avatar Reader

A/N: This is not part on any request. I just had sudden wave of inspiration and decided to write something short for Avatar. Hope that ones who will read it have fun with it.

Please remember english is not my native language , so be aware of any mistakes. Work contains smut , minors do not interact.

Part 2

He didn't know when everything around him fell quiet.

His thoughts focused on the woman in front of him. The way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she smiled.

He wasn't even sure when she stopped in place, only turning her head towards him to see why he suddenly fell silent.

-Are you okay Jake? - she asked looking at him carefully - Have you been blinded by my beauty so much? - she asked after a while with a malicious smile, tickling his leg with her tail.

Yes, he wanted to say. But at the last moment he stopped himself, lowering his head slightly downwards.

-You wish - he said as he walked past her.

Y/n followed him with her eyes, cautiously following his movements before moving herself, going past the man to go first again.

-I’m not the one who has been looking at me for a long time - she noticed softly, giggling after a while when her golden irises noticed the embarrassment on Sully's face - Don't worry, I won't tell anyone - she added, mimicking a locking motion on her mouth.

-I honestly don't care if you tell anyone - he confessed, imperceptibly approaching her.

-Oh, and why? Aren't you afraid that after this no woman from the tribe will want you? - she asked, teasingly - Now that we can choose a mate, I wouldn't jump from one flower to another if I were in your place.

-I already know which woman I want - he said without breaking their eye contact even for a moment.

-And does she know it? - Y/n wondered, tilting her head up to get a full look at the avatar's face.

-I believe so, but she loves to make my life difficult - he replied, hesitantly brushing away a lost strand of her hair with his hand.

-We can't Jake - she stated, turning her head away from him.

-And why not? - he asked, placing his hands on her neck so he could guide her jaw with his fingers, which he pointed back at him. - We have the right to do this, so why not Y/n? Explain this to me.

-We're not Na'vi, Jake - she began, frowning in irritation - Feelings are something more powerful here. They're important, they're long-lasting. What happens when we get back to our bodies, what then, hmm? We'll act like nothing happened while in Omaticay's eyes we'll be a married couple, one body and one soul - she explained, touching the skin under which his heart was.

The man took her hand and, lifting it, he kissed her knuckles.

-Is it really that bad? - he asked tenderly - Here or there, my decision will be the same - he announced, looking for hesitation in her eyes - What is yours?

-My mind tells me it's going to end badly - she replied, looking down.

-And what your heart says? - he asked.

-My heart...my heart says I need you. I need you by my side - she confessed.

-You have me - Jake replied almost immediately, his lips gliding over her blue face, marking with kisses every patch of skin exposed to him.

Y/n closed her eyes allowing the man to make every move, running her hands through his body herself, stopping at the nape of his neck at the border of his hair, which she caught between her slender fingers, pulling again and again as his mouth got closer to hers.

Finally Sully connected their lips in a slow and sensual kiss, so gentle that the young woman could compare the feeling to the touch of butterfly wings.

Her legs finally gave out, causing the avatar to grab her around the waist, carefully sinking to the ground with her, not interrupting their shared caress.

Every touch, every kiss and every embrace was like hot metal, leaving its mark on their bodies. However, when Y/n felt the touch on her braid, her intoxication faded. Opening her eyes, she watched Jake lift it up, guiding it towards him with the other hand taking his and binding them together.

Y/n's entire body trembled, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her insides were overcome by an uncontrollable wave of warmth and pleasure and before she had time to think she was rubbing against the black-haired man like a cat, and when he moved her body, placing her on his lap, she began to moan softly, clinging to his arms like a last resort, too absorbed to noticing Sully marking her neck with wet kisses.

The next feeling the avatar experienced was the feeling of wet earth beneath her back. The man laid her down, slowly straightening up so he could look at the woman beneath him. She lay with her palms up while the violet light from the trees fell on her beautiful face. Her hair was scattered like halo around her head, and her yellow eyes were clouded with lust.

Unable to stop himself, Jake went back to molting her smooth body, tracing his way from the hollow of her neck, through her bare shoulders, the valley between her breasts, and her belly, feeling the Y/n muscles tense and unclench under his tongue. With a large hand, he grabbed the small fabric that covered her breasts, attacking them when his hand showed only a small piece of newly discovered skin.

She grabbed his hair, making sure the braids didn't separate under the sudden movements she made, writhing under Sully's body like a possessed woman. But when she spread her legs, pushing her pelvis into him in a suggestive way, he stopped again, looking at her with a question in his eyes.

-Are you sure? - he asked in a low voice full of the desire he was holding back.

-We've already done something that is considered sacred - she noted - Might as well go all the way - she admitted, her thumbs stroking his cheekbones - Unless you don't want to.

Jake wanted to laugh. How could he not want it when the woman he loved so much lay beneath him, moaning and whimpering, demanding his attention.

-There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you - he replied, lifting her body up so that she was sitting comfortably on his thighs, and she spread her legs so that her knees lay on either side of his hips.

-That doesn't answer my question - she muttered like a spoiled child, leaning against the man's torso.

-I know it do, you just want to finish me off - he said, kissing her forehead.

-Hmm...- she whispered, after a while moaning loudly, feeling how he enters her slowly, stretching her from the inside.

Their heads began to rub against each other as the feeling of euphoria flooded them harder and harder as their bodies merged into one. One they both realized. Now they were one body, one heart, one mind, one soul.

-Jake - Y/n whimpered into his ear, pulling his body as close as possible, even though there was no space between them.

-I'm here, I am - he whispered into her hair, moving his loins with her.

The couple sank into each other even more if that was possible. Every touch, kiss, or tighter grip of the skin they felt on each other and it was the best feeling imaginable. Neither wanted the moment to end, desperately trying to prolong it with each thrust and each clench.

Everything around them lost its importance, even when nature itself, seeing their actions, surrounded them with a safe coat, allowing the lovers to fully devote themselves to their feelings.

They made love for hours, never feeling the need to stop. Their hands, tongues and mouths wandered as their hips moved in an intimate dance.

Only the bright light falling on their faces and the unexpected fatigue coming in huge amounts made the two bodies separate from each other. However, not souls, not hearts, no ,these were connected. Now and forever.

[malarign]

butterflies (pt. 2)

(how they would get butterflies)

contains: bf!hyungline x fem!reader (individually) | genre: fluff | tw! mentions of making out and other intimate situations (nothing serious and explicit though!) | wc: 0,6k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: this is somehow part two of Butterflies (how they would give you butterflies), be sure to check it out!

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

➶ when you compliment him *ೃ༄

it could be something short like “you look good today”

or “you smell really nice”

or maybe something longer, almost like a confession

all he knows is that he has to cover his ears bc they’re totally red right now

idk what he expects though?? man is good at everything he does

so you tend to remind him about that once in a while

his response to that is always the same

which is looking down at the floor or his shoes and smiling shyly

please he’s so cute

➶ when you play with his hair *ೃ༄

or any head-related touch like head pats

scratching or massaging his scalp

brushing through his locks

or tangling your fingers in them while you two make out

it’s basic, it’s cliche but man,,, how it makes him feel

the moment your hand lands on his head he’s on cloud nine

Park Jongseong | 박종성

➶ when you whisper into his ear *ೃ༄

idk it’s just something about him

i feel that soft sound like your whisper makes his body tingle

the place doesn’t matter tbh

it could be you whispering while he has a break in his practice

or when you’re alone and you just tell him sweet nothings

he just sits and listens to your sweet voice with his eyes closed

feels dazed whenever your hot breath hits his skin

➶ when you grab his arm *ೃ༄

okay specifically not hand, hand is too basic for this man

but when you hold his arm

please he’s lost, doesn’t know what’s going on

add a little squeeze on his bicep and not only his heart jumps out of his chest

but also his ego is bigger than ever

innocent acts like this just make him want to protect you (i’m not crying)

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

➶ when you initiate any form of intimacy *ೃ༄

usually, it’s he who starts any make-out and cuddling sessions

so he’s just stunned whenever you initiate it

bonus points if you take initiative by sitting on his lap and holding him in one place by doing that

so what if he could easily take it away from you

but why would he?

plus he would be so giggly, humming in content at the smallest contact

➶ when you address him by his name *ೃ༄

i mean it’s jake, of course he is master in making weird but cute nicknames to you

but whenever he hears his name coming out of your lips?

he’s gone

he just thinks that the way you say it is the most adorable thing you do

especially when you call him a cute form of his name, either english or korean one

he would anything and everything for you as soon as he hears “yunie” or “jakey”

probably would get teased by others, but doesn’t really care ✋

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

➶ when you pay attention to him *ೃ༄

this man would be just as whipped for you as jake, but silently

he can swear his heart jumps out of his chest whenever you attently listen to him and his worries

especially that he is always the one to notice small details about his close ones

like the sight of you nodding looking straight into his eyes makes him kinda intimidated

whenever you remembered a small fact about him, like his new favorite ice cream flavour

or his new favorite movie

just show interest in any detail about him and he’s gone

our big boy just loves small gestures

➶ holding eye contact with him *ೃ༄

we all know he’s really bad at holding eye contact

likes to think he’s the one who’s more intimidating

but honestly whenever you look straight into his eyes for a little longer than usually

he can’t help but look away pursing his lips together into a thin line

even when it’s been a while of your relationship

he smiles whenever you’re staring at him, feeling a little less shy comparing to the beggining

but still blush tints his cheek tying a knot in his stomach

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

[asimpwithfreetime]

Mr. Steal your girl (Tsu’tey x fem!reader / Jake Sully x Neytiri)

Summary: Tsu’tey tries to make Jake mad by dating his mate (He doesn’t know that you are not Jake’s human mate but his sister)

This fic is way looooonger than I expected.

Kind of a fluffy one-shot

Warnings: none I could think of.

Let’s pretend that Tsu’tey didn’t die, okay?

Also, I wrote this at 6 am in the morning and I have to wake up at seven, this might be the longest sleep deprived rant I’ve done.

English is not my first language

[ Reader’s POV ]

Jake has been acting strange since he became an avatar user, he barely sleeps o eats. He is always with Dr. Grace talking about Na’vis and their culture. I’ve also heard him talk about a woman, Neytiri I think.

Sometimes I wish I could go have adventures with him, running around Pandora freely. Not being small enough to be eaten by almost EVERYTHING.

Once the war with the sky people, no longer our workmates, started, I chose to fight on the side of the Na’vis, even though, none of them knew me.

I got injured during the battle. My brother, in his avatar form, picked me up, biding goodbye to his mate and bringing me back to our base to let Norm patch me up. I almost didn’t notice the freezing cold gaze that fell upon me.

[ Tsu’tey’s POV ]

So the demon with a fake body already had a mate with the sky people. She looks extremely weak. And he just PICKED HER UP in such a loving and caring way!? In front of Neytiri, as if nothing was wrong.

I walked towards Neytiri, but she didn’t seem upset. Okay, I’ll need to figure this out.

[ Few days after ]

[ Y/n’ POV ]

I was almost cured enough to go outside again. Even if I needed an oxygen mask to breath outside, it felt so freeing to see Pandora.

I didn’t want to wait any longer, so when Jake and Norm were distracted, I went out, into the forest. At first, I felt lost, but soon I found my way around it. Nature was beautiful here and we had stopped its destruction.

Stepping though the forest, I found a small lake and I walked up to it to see my reflexion. Standing closely to it I could see myself, but when I looked closely I could see the tree branches. In one of them there was a Na’vi, his bow was prepared to shoot me and he didn’t seem very happy.

[ Tsu’tey’s POV ]

I thought all humans were forced to leave the other day, except for some of Jakesully’s friends. I didn’t see any human women between them. I MUST kill her.

I followed her around the forest, I tried to be as silent as possible. She looked weak. Suddenly I remembered myself thinking the exact same thing. THIS IS JAKESULLY’S MATE. He didn’t show her to us because he wanted her all for himself while still having Neytiri. That bastard!

If I killed her, Jakesully would have to tell the truth right? Or maybe he would get so mad he would go back to his stupid dying planet.

I prepared my bow, pointing the arrow directly at her. She was so relaxed here, she wouldn’t expect this. But, she was looking into a lake, I couldn’t see it properly but I knew something was up when she tensed up. She turned around looking directly at me. For a split of a second I felt bad. I looked at her, her face soft and beautiful. Wait! Did I just though this human piece of meat was beautiful?

I tensed my bow a little bit more to scare her. She pulled her hands up in the air and said “Don’t kill me please!”. I thought about it. She was so weak she didn’t seem like a problem. But she was still Jakesully’s mate.

My mind raced, maybe Jake was being unfaithful to both of them and she wasn’t the one to fault. I brought my bow down and jumped from the tree. She was so small compared to me. From up close I could she her poor body shaking while she looked at me with a pleading look en her eyes.

When we were close enough I said, trying to sound strong even though my accent was not very good. “I am not going to kill you, sky demon”. She looked at me, still doubting it. I was about to tell her to go off to her base and never come back here, but an idea crossed my mind. What if I steal Jakesully’s mate?

Mine died, then her parents promised me Neytiri, I did like her, even though she wasn’t my real mate. Then Jakesully had to come and ruin it, once again sky people broke my chances of being happy. I almost died in the fight and lost all my privileges I would get for being the clan’s chief. I was degraded just for a sky demon in a Na’vi flesh disguise.

I waited for three and a half years, Jakesully did it in one week. I looked at her when my idea seemed perfect. If a human stole my Na’vi mate, a Na’vi will steal his human mate. Perfect.

Just as I was thinking that, a woodsprite fell onto her head. Was Eywa saying that I should do it? Was Ewya giving me back what’s fair?

I smiled mischievously. The woman looked terrified.

[ Y/n’s POV ]

He was smiling at me just right after he was aiming at me with a bow and arrow. “Are you okay?”

He seemed to snap out if his trance. He pulled his bow and arrow to his side, not shooting it. “Who are you? Why are you here? You weren’t with the scientists that would stay here” his words were accusing, but his accent was adorable, I couldn’t help but giggle to myself.

“I am Y/n. Y/n Sully” his face darkened at the saying of my surname.

[ Tsu’tey’s POV ]

I knew she was his mate. Humans give each other their supernames? Subnames? Sournames? Whatever!

I knew she had to be with him.

[ 3rd Person POV ]

For the next couple of days, Tsu’tey began the Na’vi courting with Y/n. Sometimes she blushed at his advances, something that made him really proud. But other times she was oblivious to them.

Once he was close enough he kissed her, copying how Jake kissed Neytiri. Just with a smaller figure. He had taken off her mask for a second, kissing her roughly. She was red as a tomato.

Tsu’tey should admit that he began doing that to annoy Jakesully and to steal his mate as a revenge. But now he did want to steal her.

[ A month later or so ]

Tsu’tey felt nervous, he didn’t know how the mating would go as they would need help of the Tsa’hìk. He went to look for Jake. “Jake I am going to mate your human mate” he said, in English.

“Tsu’tey, brother, I think you might have messed up the sentence” Jake thought that the Na’vi had said something wrong because of the language.

He repeated the same words, now in Na’vi and Jake was as dumbfounded as before.

“Y/n, I am talking about Y/n” Tsu’tey explained. Jake started laughing. “What’s so funny? I courted her better than you could every imagine” Tsu’tey felt that laugh as a taunt to his pride.

“Y/n isn’t my mate” Jake hollered between laughs. “But she has your sourname!” Tsu’tey said.

“She is my sister!” Jake began laughing again. Tsu’tey felt his face loosing color. He looked dumbfounded. He still loved Y/n but now he felt like a fool.

[wonipeun]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤ

༉‧₊˚ things enhypen do that makes you blush !

pairing: bf!enhypen x gn!reader | genre: fluff!!!!!! warnings: none ? (please lmk is there's any)

a/n: omg,,, my first post ever, i hope you like it! (apologizes in advance for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language).

ㅤ

ㅤ

이희승 · lee heeseung ‧₊˚

the way he talks to you. for some reason, heeseung's voice always softens when he's talking to you. the best example i can imagine is when you come home after a long day, he's talking to someone else but the moment his gaze turns to you a smile creeps onto his lips and he greets you with a "y/n, you're here!" in the sweetest voice you've ever heard. always get your heart racing!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

ㅤ

박종성 · park jongseong ೀ

cliché dates. now hear me out, jay is a romantic. his dates with you will always be full of details and beautiful places. you're going to a restaurant for dinner? he'll pick the table with the most beautiful view so you both can enjoy it together. a date at the movies? he'll order a single drink and put two straws so you can share it. and of course, he'll drop you off at home every. single. time. (anything to spend more time with you).

ㅤ

심재윤 · sim jaeyun ˖ ࣪ ⭑

remembers the little things. do you remember that one time you told jake how much you liked some flowers you saw one day when walking together? no? well, he does, so expect a big bouquet of those flowers for your next anniversary!! jake always remembers the things you like, the things you don't like and the things you love (besides him, of course). sometimes he even writes it down on his phone because nothing makes him as happy as seeing your reaction when he gives you that thing you "wanted for so long". ꒰ っ◡ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝꒱

ㅤ

박성훈 · park sunghoon ⊹ ࣪

sudden physical affection. dating sunghoon means that most of the time you will have to initiate the physical affection. it's not that he doesn't like to do it, it's just that it's too hard for him to do it without getting nervous… that's why he always prefers you to be the one to start it. however, there are some times when he just can't help but get close to you: back hugs, holding your hand and sometimes he even manages to leave a little kiss on your lips!!!! there are very few moments in your relationship where sunghoon is the one who gets close to you, but that just makes them much more special.

ㅤ

김선우 · kim sunoo ౨ৎㅤ۫ ㅤ֪

daily good morning and good night texts. yes, daily. and i don't mean a simple "good morning" and "good night", of course not (please, we are talking about the kim sunoo). when you wake up you will receive a selca plus a message of at least 5 lines where your beloved boyfriend tells you how much he loves you and how much he is looking forward to seeing you, while at night he will remind you how much he misses you and how he wishes you were there with him. and somehow, he always manages to write you such beautiful texts that you end up rereading them an embarrassing number of times with the biggest smile on your face (๑>ᴗ<๑).

ㅤ

양정원 · yang jungwon ׅ ࣪ ✧

looks for excuses to make physical contact with you. "hey y/n let's compare the size of our hands", "y/n you got something on your cheek, let me wipe it off for you", "i'm very cold, hug me, quick!". of course he doesn't need any excuse to approach you, but the fact that he always manages to come up with one just because he is too shy to ask for a hug directly makes him twice as adorable!!

ㅤ

にしむら りき · nishimura riki ♡   ֺ  ׅ

simping for you... in secret. when ni-ki's friends told you he was a simp for you, you didn't believe them. i mean, were you talking about the same person? your boyfriend ni-ki who loves to tease you and make fun of you? "impossible" you thought. until one day they showed you pictures and videos of him talking about you, looking at you and showing them something you had gifted him. he was literally the definition of heart eyes. "look what y/n gave me, i have the best girlfriend in the world!" omg, you couldn't even believe it was him talking in the video. and as much as you would have liked to tease him about "how in love he was with you" (just like he always did), you preferred not to say anything and know that, as hard as it was for him to show it sometimes, your boyfriend was deeply in love with you.

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ©wonipeun 2022 | ㅤall rights reserved.

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Just Not Enough For You-Part 1

Warning: friends with benefits, angst (reader is insecure about her appearance and personality, jealous, comparison, drinking) this was inspired by the song Nada Contra by Clarissa (it's a Brazilian song, I know that most here speak English, but I still recommend listening to it, it's very good).

A/N: To be honest this idea seemed better in my head and didn't come out exactly as I wanted, but I still liked the final result so I decided to post it. Part two will probably be posted early next week. Hope you like it💗

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Your mind kept repeating the word as you went outside the Hard Deck with the excuse of getting some air, not that it was a lie, it was actually quite hard to breathe in the same environment as Jake and the miss perfect.

Of course you wanted him to be happy, that's why you broke the deal with Jake, to set him free so that he could find someone better to love, someone as perfect as he was, someone who certainly wasn't you.

Why were you so sad? It was all your fault, he was only with her because you let him go, so why are you so sad?

"I think this better be the last time" you say picking your clothes up quickly from the floor.

  "Wait, what?" Jake asked so confused, he thought everything was going so well, and it was true "I thought you liked this, what about our deal?"

   The damn deal, friends with benefits, how to continue with the deal when you had broken the biggest rule of it, no falling in love, just fuck, get something out of your system and enough is enough. Jake made it very clear he wasn't after a relationship, and you thought the same until that stupid smile captured your heart and you realized you were totally in love with him.

   "I like it, but we can't go through with it."

   "Why?" he asked still so confused as he watched you put on your clothes instead of his shirt and lay down to sleep next to him like you always did on the nights you had sex (and even on the ones you did nothing).

  "I...I just think that we should be sleeping with other people, I mean of course we should, meeting new people and not getting stuck in this bullshit" you say as if it doesn't hurt.

  "Are you sure this is what you want?"

  "Yes, I'm sure" big liar.

  You start to retreat from the room, ready to leave when you hear him calling your name, almost like a broken whisper.

   "We're still friends, right?" you could swear you saw pain flash through his eyes, but it should be something from your imagination.

   "Yes, friends" you smile and hope he doesn't realize it's fake, and finally walk away.

   This couldn't go on, not when you knew he didn't want anything serious, not with you, not when he can get something better, it was better to end it now and hope the pain was less.

But wasn't, was tearful.

It didn't even take a month before there was another girl in your place, the beautiful and gorgeous Jude, they were already on their third date and God she was pretty and a wonderful person which only made it even worse.

  You didn't want to compare yourself, but it was impossible to stop the negative thoughts about yourself when she was around.

  That's why you left the bar, not being able to take it anymore but still unable to avoid watching them from the window outside.

  You see Jake put his arm around her shoulders and whisper something in her ear that makes she laugh.

Why did they have to look so perfect together?

   The smile on his face slowly disappears as his gaze crosses yours on the other side of the window.

  "Shit" you say to yourself as you look away and take a long sip of your drink trying to erase the shame of being caught in the act.

  "Are you feeling okay?" Jake asks a few minutes later standing next to you.

   "Yeah, I just needed to take a breather, the bar seemed pretty crowded tonight" was a great excuse, Jake knew you hated crowds.

  The two of you stare at each other for a long minute, not knowing how to continue that conversation, drowning in those unspoken words and undisclosed feelings.

  "You look beautiful" he finally says and he sounded so sincere.

   You wondered if he noticed that that was his favorite dress, the same one he would always gently pull off your body, the one he said made you look like an angel.

  "My beautiful angel" was what he said before he kissed you for the first time that night on the beach.

"my angel" whispered between your thighs before finally making you his, Just his.

The silence hangs again, he couldn't look away, but he quickly shakes his head, drawing from it whatever thought was making him confused at that moment.

  "Well, I have to go, I promised to take Jude home so..." He leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

   "Okay," is all you can say without bursting into tears.

   "I...take care and be well okay?"

  You nod and watch him leave with Jude at his side.

   It was their third date, you knew they would probably be doing more than kissing that night, the mere thought of him touching her made your stomach churn, giving her the pleasure that only a few weeks ago he was giving only to you.

  You get back inside the bar as quickly as possible.

  "Penny" you catch the attention of the woman behind the counter "Give me a glass of the strongest drink you have."

  "Are you sure dear?"

  "Yes, please."

  "Are you okay?" Phoenix asks sitting down next to you already knowing everything that had happened to you and Hangman.

  "Fine" you say before turning the entire shot over in one go once Penny has placed it on the counter "Everything is wonderfully fine, one more shot please."

━─┈✩☽🌑☾✩┈─━

Hello" Jake speaks with his voice still hoarse from sleep.

"Bangman" he hears your inebriated voice on the other end of the line and it is enough for him to wake up automatically getting worried about you "My favorite pilot, my Jake" you give a short chuckle.

"Are you okay? Where are you?" he quickly gets out of bed ready to pick you up no matter where you are.

"My Jake...but you're not mine are you? And it's all my fault" by the tone of your voice you make it clear that you were crying.

"Honey what are you talking about? Please tell me where you are."

"It's all my fault" you repeat "Jude is beautiful, you really did well to choose her, the two of you are perfect together, it even annoys me."

"I... What's going on angel, please, I'm getting worried" Jake says.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against her, the truth is I wish I was in her place, the truth is I am dying of jealousy here" you laugh again, but there was no amusement there, just pain "I know I was the one who ended our arrangement, but the truth is I couldn't go on, I couldn't because I love you, I love you so much it hurts, I ended it all because I knew you would never love me back, why would you love me? I can spend hours here talking about all your qualities and I'm just me, you can have models, beautiful and funny girls, and I know I'm good enough to be a casual fuck but never good enough to be a girlfriend, I'm easy to forget, easy to replace, it wouldn't be any different this time right, that's why I let you go" Jake only realizes he was crying now, with the excruciating pain of hearing the woman he love talking so badly about herself.

"Angel, please listen to me, this is not true, none of this is..."

"My God, what are you doing? No calling guys when you're drunk" he hears Phoenix's voice on the other end of the line before can continue speaking "Jake, I'm sorry about that" he is a little more relieved to know you had someone with you.

"Natasha, where are you guys? I'm going to go get her right now."

"Nat, give me back my phone, I need to tell Jakey that I love him even if I am insufficient to him" you speak in the background.

"We are at The Hard Deck, I can take care of her, but Jake...she needs you."