#we dont talk about patton enough honestly

[babysizedfics]

virgil virtually never gets rid of any gifts ever, but especially not gifts he receives when he's little. which leads to a bunch of random piles in his room like: here are all of the pretty rocks ro-ro has given him. and here are all of the flowers that daddy has tucked behind his ear. and here are all of the pen caps that vee pulled off of mama's pens bc it was a pretty color. and sometimes he just picks one item from a pile and just holds it with him the whole time he's little bc he Loves them

combinging both of these concepts because i have an IDEA

patton keeps a scrapbook for the family and takes a ton of pictures, roman keeps all of his drawings and stuff from when he is little, logan likes to keep records of notes about virgil's regression and some on roman's littlespace too purely for research purposes although not really because aometimes when he's not feeling very happy but is too shy to ask his family for affection he will read back through his reports to remind himself of how much love they all share

but virgil doesnt keep anything from when he's regressed, he doesn't like to identify with his baby things, he never used to keep colouring books he used to just print colouring oages then throw them out straight away once he was big again because he struggled so much with accepting his regression that he just wanted to forget about it

and he insists that he doesnt like keeping things from his little time and the family is a bit disappointed but won't push his boundaries, if he wants to throw away the drawings that patton hasnt stuck in the scrapbook then thats his decision

until one day patton is looking for something in virgils room and finds a big cardboard box under his bed that's incredibly heavy

he opens it, seeing as it was labelled 'spare clothes' and patton was searching for a sweatshirt that he suspected virgil had stolen (he wouldn't have taken it back in all honesty, he just wanted to know where it was)

and he finds a massive collection of memorabilia from virgil's regression

there's a big messy stack of paper which patton flicks through, realising it is literally every single colouring and drawing virgil has ever done, including some that roman had done but deemed unworthy of his own collection

and theres one of romans toy cars, the purple one that he had 'lost' but that he had quickly forgotten about because honestly he had about thirty

and there are so many pen lids, mostly purple, some pink, a few dark blues and reds, which makes patton giggle at the amount of times he had been looking around the floor trying to find pen lids and having to make ones out of tin foil until they could get more pens

and a little bag of random puzzle pieces (patton snickers a bit because logan had been convinced that people were breaking the summoning rule and thats why his puzzle pieces were going missing) most of which had some kind of images on them that baby vee had liked such as little bunnies from a woodland scene puzzle and a piece with a black kitten from a city at night puzzle

and there's dried daisies from the time patton tried to teach him how to make a flower crown, which didnt go amazingly so just ended in baby vee throwing daisies into the air like confetti with light giggles

theres the pretty smooth rocks that roman gave to baby vee to help calm him down when he accidentally touched a yucky texture

and there's the cards that they all made for virgil for his first birthday celebration with him (which they made sure was the first birthday he actually enjoyed)

and theres a broken crayon from the time roman accidentally stepped on a bunch and patton kissed his aching foot better with raspberries that made roman squeal with laughter

and theres the lid from the crofters loganberry jam patton had used to bake logan's birthday jam cookies while his little ones helped (roman) and watched (virgil)

and there's a decorative bookmark logan had been using for the space book he read to vee that had mysteriously gone missing when the book was finished

patton takes an hour or so to quietly rifle through the box

he knows he shouldnt have been doing it but he couldnt help himself from diving headfirst into all of the memories that he thought virgil had forgotten, since his regression is so all encompassing he can hardly ever recall what happened

but here was proof that virgil kept the memories safely stored in this box, close to him

patton wipes away his tears, his cheeks aching from smiling so much and slides the box carefully back to its hiding spot

and, of course, patton finds his hoodie peaking out from under virgils pillow (and he just smiles and leaves it there, happy that it could clearly bring comfort to virgil)

he didnt tell virgil that he found his little collection, he knew that if his baby wanted to tell him about it then he would in his own time

it actually takes nearly a year for virgil to do so, and by then there's three boxes and so many more memories, and the whole family sit together and go through them and nostalgise together one night

and even though virgil is mostly grownup during the evening, patton doesnt let him off of his lap and doesnt stop kissing his cheek and tearing up everytime he thinks about how many memories theyve all made together and how many many many more will come

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Black

Prompts: After POF, Roman takes over the abandoned color black. He becomes the hated side that Virgil used to be. By most, anyway. Janus and Virgil are concered. Patton chooses to ignore it. Romans room is really cold? and boy is he touch starved - anon

(Sanders sides Prompt) Any one of the sides is touch starved. fluff. (You dont have to do this just thought I might ask) - anon

Hello there!! I just wanna say that I love your work and I think you’re such a talented writer. Idk if this is a weird ask but would you consider writing Roman angst with the song “it’s OK I wouldn’t remember me either” by crywank as like inspiration? Thank you so much <3 -anon

buckel up babes this one's a doozy

Read on Ao3

Warnings: implied/reference self-harm by way of self-negligence, pretty intense self-hatred and neglect that could verge on suicidal, but NO ONE DIES, everyone's fine at the end, we don't break shit and not fix it in my house

Pairings: it is platonic found family hours

Word Count: 5697

Do you know what no one ever tells you about the color black?

It’s seamless.

There are no cracks, no tears, no imperfections, because everything’s so dark you can’t tell what’s a trick of the light and what isn’t. Everything blends together. At first, second, even third glance, it’s perfect. Pristine, even. It hides absolutely everything. It’s intimidating, honestly, that level of deception. The way it can make anything look like it’s meant to be there, as if to live the colorless and lightless life is all it was ever destined for.

Darkness has always found a way of feeling like home, even to the ones who are afraid of it.

You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Roman hadn’t wanted to go to the wedding. He didn’t want to go, but it’s what Patton wanted. It’s what Thomas would’ve wanted. If Roman hadn’t been so loud. But it hurt, it did, when they said that they shouldn’t go to the callback because there was such a slim likelihood of Thomas winning. Because Roman couldn’t win. But Roman wasn’t supposed to be the villain and do something bad so he sent Thomas to the wedding.

Bruises were supposed to be yellow, or green, or purple, not black.

But if he had yellow, green, or purple bruises, he would’ve blamed a yellow, green, or purple Side. And that was bad.

So he hid them, because as he learned, no one was looking for them anyway. Patton cared when he didn’t show up to the video and then he was there and oh, having someone there, even if they only cared a little, was like rainfall in a desert, it was wonderful, Roman would’ve sung if he thought it wouldn’t make everything worse. But Roman was good, so he never complained, and he did his job to the best of his ability.

But what if his job was bad?

But there are two Creativities, a Roman and a Remus. And no one else liked Remus, because Remus was bad and Roman was good. But Remus isn’t bad, he’s just the opposite of Roman. And Roman didn’t want to be Remus because Remus was bad. But Remus isn’t bad.

Creativity isn’t bad.

Bruises aren’t supposed to be black but they can’t be red.

Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain but what else do you call someone who laughs at vulnerability, who scorns people’s earnest attempts to help, who single-handedly ruins someone’s life?

Roman isn’t supposed to be the villain, but bruises aren’t supposed to cover every inch of his skin unless he deserves it.

His skin burns. It crawls and aches and screams and darkens into bruises. His throat aches from the wordless screams and the horrible things he’s said to everyone. He’s been so selfish, he’s tried to make everything go his way, tried to make it about him, not about Thomas, because everything they do is supposed to help Thomas, help Thomas, that’s what they’re supposed to do, they’re supposed to help Thomas, not themselves, why is he doing this, why is he doing this?

Because he’s the villain.

Roman cries.

What else is he supposed to do?

He cries until the tears grow thick, sluggish, oozing out of his eyes until he can’t see anything but them, until his breath grows thick and his chest heavy. He cries until he has to struggle to open his eyes because of how swollen they are, how globulous the tears have become on the ends of his lashes. He cries until his head splits and his chest wails from the pain he isn’t supposed to have but deserves, deserves every little bit. He cries until his body is consumed by the bruises.

His costume is a straightjacket. He needs it off. The white hurts now, it burns his arms and cuffs his wrists. He doesn’t deserve it so he rips it off. Every seam that he ruins is another bruise. The rips are so loud they burrow into some soft part of his brain and live there. The white is still imperfect because it’s on him.

Only when his costume lies in tatters around him, his sash torn off and thrown away, far away, does the white look pure.

He cries himself to sleep with a smile on his face.

Far, far away, a black hoodie is tugged back into the Conscious Mindscape.

When Roman wakes, his head is full of static.

His lungs inflate and collapse on autopilot, driven by the merciless pump of some distant machine, turning the crank to draw air in and out, in and out.

His hands are numb, fingertips rubbed raw and inflamed from tearing relentlessly at fabric. He turns them slowly and it’s like watching himself in a video game.

His face is cold. He paws at his cheeks and feels sticky residue, etched into his skin. His eyes stick slightly when he blinks and he doesn’t know if that’s just his face or if there’s something else.

He is swathed in black fabric, an old threadbare hoodie that has gone years unloved, untouched, unseen. It’s selfishness that makes him tug it closer, feel a faint bubble of pressure on his screaming body.

He should get up, he should go make sure he hasn’t hurt anyone else with his tantrum again, he should apologize.

But…what would be the point?

Like Patton asked, does there come a point when someone keeps apologizing so much that you just have to admit they’re bad?

Roman isn’t good. Has he ever been?

Something interrupts the pleasant numbness and it shoots from his chest to the soft points at the base of his wrists, making his hands tingle. He decides he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want it. He wants everything to stop.

He’s selfish, they all know that, he’s just going to end up hurting them anyway, so why bother trying to fix it?

Apathy, his tired brain supplies when he lies there, unmoving, on the ground, for hours and hours and hours, unwilling and uncaring to fix things.

But that can’t be right. Roman is here because he cared too much, he did too much, he was too much. How can he now be the epitome of not caring at all?

If only he never cared, if only he wasn’t so attached, if only.

If only he had been Apathy, maybe he wouldn’t have been so hurt.

His pride got him here. His pride, his wants, his his his. He wanted everything and burned down the things that would’ve helped him get there because he couldn’t do it right. He is the villain and villains always have too much pride.

Pride. Apathy.

Prapathy.

Apride.

I’m not Creativity anymore, he thinks to himself as he lies there, still on the floor as his chest aches and his eyes sting and the sticky residue drips down his cheeks onto the bruises. He stares and stares and stares at the wall and a faint part of his mind that exists outside of the static realizes he never did get around to fixing that crack in the baseboard.

Pride, apathy. It doesn’t matter. There’s a much easier word that he can use to describe both of them.

Wrong.

—————————————————————

“I don’t know, Thomas,” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t think that’s a valid solution either.”

“But it makes sense,” Virgil protests, shoving his hands into his pockets, “all we have to do is not talk to anybody else—“

“But that will hurt their feelings!”

“But we won’t hurt ourselves.”

Janus and Patton look at each other for a moment before Patton sighs and scratches the back of his head.

“I—I don’t know, this…this feels weird.”

“None of us are happy about this, Padre,” Virgil mutters, “but it’s the best solution we’ve got.”

“Real high bar we’re setting there, isn’t it?”

“Listen, Snake Face, if you’ve got a better idea—“

“Virgil, enough.” Logan shakes his head. “We need to keep thinking.”

“We’ve been at this for an hour, Logan,” Thomas says cautiously, “I don’t know what else you think we’re gonna get to.”

“We’ve already passed the optimal point for productivity, yes.”

“Oh, well, we can’t just give up now!” Patton puts his hands on his hips. “I’m sure if we just keep at it for a little longer—“

“You said that half an hour ago, Patton.”

“And I’ll say it again!”

“Because that’s going to make everything go much easier.”

Thomas sighs as the Sides fall back into bickering. Normally, this wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary—pretty much all they do is argue back and forth—but Logan’s right. They’ve made almost no progress. He finds himself staring at the TV.

Why is he staring at the TV?

He frowns, tilting his head. It’s literally just his TV. Why is he so fixated on it right now? It’s not like it’s gone anywhere, it’s sitting right where it always is. He stares at it most of the day, why is it so weird that he’s looking at it now?

Wait—

“Guys,” he interrupts, still staring at the thing he’s not supposed to be able to see like this, “where’s Roman?”

The room pauses. Then Logan sighs.

“Oh, of course, that’s why we’ve been having such a hard time coming up with solutions, we don’t have Roman.”

At Virgil’s side-eye, he glances around to see similar looks of disbelief on the other’s faces.

“What?”

“Did you…did you just admit we need Roman?”

“He is Creativity, it makes sense that if we are struggling to be creative, he isn’t here.”

“Okay, that makes more sense.” Virgil shakes his head. “Thought you were admitting he was important or something.”

“Please, his head is big enough as it is.”

Janus hides a snort.

“Why didn’t he show up earlier,” Thomas asks, “he’s normally one of the first of you to get here.”

Virgil shrugs. “I dunno, I haven’t seen that much of him lately.”

“Is he…okay?”

“Who the hell knows, he’s Roman.”

“My guess is he’s been in his room,” Logan says, glancing at Roman’s usual spot, “I haven’t seen him either.”

Thomas doesn’t miss the way Janus and Patton glance at each other. “If you two have information now might be the time to share it.”

“Roman…hasn’t come out of his room,” Patton says after a beat, “not since…”

“Wait, he hasn’t come out since the wedding?”

Janus shakes his head. “I’ve barely seen him open his door.”

“That doesn’t…normally happen, does it?”

“No,” Patton says, “and, uh, he doesn’t normally ignore us either.”

“Ignore you?”

“We’ve tried knocking. It doesn’t work.”

“Perhaps Thomas can summon him,” Logan offers, “you have more power than any of us do, he’d have to answer you.”

“Well, here goes nothing. Creativity!”

Someone pops up in front of the TV.

Someone in a white costume with green embellishments and a mustache.

“Remus?”

Remus glares at them, his Morningstar at his side, his costume white, pristine, and light.

“What the fuck have you done with my brother?”

—————————————————————

It’s been weeks.

The fans have accepted Remus as Creativity. They think that the videos are better than ever. They think this was Thomas’s plan from the beginning.

There is one end card where the Sides are watching a movie and some of them spot a dark figure in the corner. Who could this be? Is this the mysterious orange Side everyone has been waiting for? Is this the Side that’s been hurting Thomas so much?

Zoom and enhance. It’s Virgil’s old hoodie. They’re sitting where Remus used to sit. They’re not staring at the screen, they’re looking at the others. What could this mean?

Someone spots the faint outline of a tiny crown perched atop the figure’s head.

And then, well, then it all makes sense.

There was always one Side that messed up everything, that made everything more complicated. There was always one Side that, if you thought about it, you could trace everything back to. There was always one Side that was told he was making the bad choice and yet, never seemed to learn.

They start to put together timelines, evidence, essay-length meta posts on how of course, this is the plan, why didn’t they see it before? Those that had disliked him from the start crow about how they were right, how everyone doubted them but look who’s laughing now. They point out how he’s become a Dark Side, maybe he was always a Dark Side, and how incredible would that storytelling be? To warn against the pressures of society’s expectations, the idea of good versus bad, or authentic versus forced. How of course, they’re wearing Virgil’s old hoodie because they’re the hated Side now. How they’re not looking at the screen because that’s not what they want, they want to be a part of the famILY.

Vitriolic rants. Accusations. Vent fics. The unsympathetic tag is overflowing.

Because who else could the villain be?

—————————————————————

Roman lives in the cold now.

His fireplace isn’t lit anymore. The door to the Imagination doesn’t work anymore. The blankets on his bed aren’t thick enough anymore. He drifts through a haze where only the emergency systems in his brain are online, where only the awareness needed to sleep, breathe, and move the little bits he needs to move are present.

He doesn’t know that there’s nothing behind the red door anymore, that when Janus and Virgil come to knock on it, worried, or when Remus storms through the Imagination and tries to knock it down by force, there’s nothing for them to find.

He doesn’t know that a new door, a black door, leads from his room to the hallway, far away from any of the other rooms. He doesn’t know that it’s so dark back here that no one would be able to tell there was a door if they didn’t put their nose right up against it.

He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care.

A new kind of ache settles in his bones now. Pain is an old friend, but he’s yet to give suffering a proper handshake.

He misses when he could go and ask someone for help.

He misses when Patton would turn to him without any judgment in his eyes, without any ‘well, you know, kiddo—‘, without any ‘let’s start off with—‘, just the soft words of I’m here, I’ll help you. He misses being able to walk up to Patton’s door and knock on it and know that he would be safe on the other side.

Patton would open the door and soften, his mouth curling up into a small smile as he says hey, kiddo, come in. He would sit Roman down on the bed and press a glass of water into his hands. He would rub his back as he drank, taking the empty glass gently and cupping Roman’s face in his hands. He would ask what’s wrong, sweetheart, what can I do? And Roman would say he just wants a hug, he just wants to not be alone for a bit. And Patton would smile and coo about how Roman was always welcome here, sweetheart, I’m right here, I’ll take care of you. And Roman could fall asleep with his head on Patton’s chest and believe that everything was okay.

He misses when he could walk up to Logan and ask for help and he wouldn’t be scoffed at or turned away, he wouldn’t be looked at suspiciously and asked what he really wanted. He misses when Logan could come to him too and just spend time together.

Logan would knock on his door and ask if you have a moment, would you like to walk with me? And Roman would smile and say, of course, he always has time for Logan, and they could go somewhere in the Imagination and just talk. And Logan would say that’s an interesting idea, I wonder if—and they would walk and talk for hours. And Roman could bustle up to Logan’s door and say I’ve just thought of something, and Logan would open his door and be happy to talk with Roman and it would be okay.

Roman curls up tighter and feels nothing.

He wishes he could have something to miss for Virgil. He wishes they could have bonded over their love of Disney, their want to talk about the things they’re interested in, or even the need to just have someone else in the room with them for a bit. He wishes their relationship wasn’t just spitting barbs at each other, each hoping to hit the bullseye first and knock the other one out of the race. He wishes he could’ve done better.

He wishes he could have something to miss for Janus. He wishes they could’ve done this right, that they could’ve bonded over the want to keep Thomas safe but also have him be himself. He wishes that he hadn’t laughed, hadn’t scorned, hadn’t fallen back on his pride to keep himself safe at the expense of Thomas. He wishes that maybe, just maybe, if he had been a better puppet, then he wouldn’t have been dropped so suddenly.

But as it stands now, more than anything he wishes he could hear them when they say the things they say about him because then he could figure out which bruises were theirs and take comfort in knowing that they still touch him in some way.

The bruises are a constant now. From the online hate to the casual remarks from the others to the way that Patton hasn’t even tried to come find him anymore—he can hear that, you know—he can’t turn over without landing on a new smattering of bruises. The hoodie helps to cushion the blow a little bit.

He misses Remus.

Remus was…

…Remus was everything.

Roman misses his other half. Roman misses his brother. Roman misses his Creativity.

When they were small they would curl around each other as if they could fuse if they focused hard enough. They would wrap their arms around each other so tightly that it would be a pleasant ache when they woke, never minding because they were tighter. Remus was always so warm and Roman hoarded every single bit he could get.

Roman was cruel to push his brother away and now he understands how it feels.

He misses Thomas.

He misses when he was allowed to go and see Thomas. When he could talk to Thomas. When his presence was celebrated or at the very least, tolerated. He misses it. He misses helping.

But he’s helping now, by staying away.

He’s cold.

He’s so cold.

—————————————————————

do you remember what it felt like

to be touched?

press of fingertips against shoulders

bump of a forehead against yours

palms meeting and parting a mere second later

in days gone by

do you remember

warm?

humans thrive off physical contact,

we’re not built to hold each other

at arms’ length.

infants will die

if they aren’t held enough.

and I am so

so

cold

—————————————————————

Something is wrong and even Patton can’t ignore it anymore.

The Sides shuffle uneasily in front of the red door until Remus raises his hand to knock against it.

“Roman?”

Silence.

“Roman, please, please, just—just say something.”

Silence.

“Where the fuck are you, Roman?”

“Don’t yell,” Logan mumbles, “you’ll make him think we’re angry at him.”

Remus takes a deep breath.

“We’re not angry, Ro-bro, we’re just—just please make some noise.”

Silence.

“…we’re coming in, Roman.”

But they can’t. Because as Remus turns the knob on the door, it falls forward. The entire door comes off just to reveal—

A blank wall. With no sign that there was ever a room behind it.

Thomas can hear the scream.

—————————————————————

Roman hears the scream and can’t move. But he can close his eyes and reach out and see what’s going on. After all, he hasn’t done anything, so something must be wrong if someone else is screaming.

He feels something in his chest twist and snap.

“Re?”

Across the Mindscape, Remus’s head jerks up.

“Ro,” he breathes, getting to his feet and rushing off down the hall as the others hurry after him, “Ro!”

“Remus, what’s going on?”

“Why isn’t Roman’s room there anymore?”

“Where are you going?”

They barrel into the hallway and smack into a black door. Logan’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happened.

“Roman’s become a Dark Side,” he says, fingers scrabbling where the door meets the wall, “he’s—he’s really hurt, we have to help—“

“Move, L, I’m gonna break the door down.”

“You’re not gonna do it without me.”

“Roman!”

Roman turns his head to look at the door. Are they…here? The hoodie rasps against his undead skin and he winces. There are still bruises.

“Roman!”

The door shudders its frame. He could open it. He could. He just has to reach out and—

“Ro!”

Remus.

The door unlatches and his brother pours into the room, letting out a wail when he spots Roman in the bed.

Janus hisses as soon as he crosses the threshold, this room is freezing. It feels as if no one’s moved for years inside, as if the heat has been sucked out entirely. His gaze flies to Remus, who’s over on the bed, his hands scrabbling at something in black material.

Roman.

“Oh, little prince,” he whispers, horrified, “no, no, no—“

“We have to get him out,” Logan orders, startling Remus into action as he scoops Roman into his arms, “we have to get him warm. His core temperature is too low.”

“Shower? Bath?”

“No, if we shock his system we could make it worse. Janus, I need your heating pads, Patton, something warm to drink.”

Janus and Patton vanish.

“Virgil, weighted blankets, Remus—“

“I’m here.” As Virgil ducks away as well, Remus helps Logan cradle the limp and freezing form of his brother in their arms as they begin to rush out of that horrible, horrible room. “You thinking bathroom?”

“Get him to Janus’s, that’ll be the safest place.”

“Got it.”

Sure enough, Janus has no objection and sweeps them inside, setting down the heating pads as Patton bustles in with two thermos flasks and a mug. Virgil pops back with thick blankets as they lay the cold form on the ground. Roman’s eyes blink sluggishly as he stares up at Remus.

“...Re?”

“Yeah, Roro, it’s me, I’m right here, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here faster.”

“What’s…wha’s going on?”

“You’re too cold, Roman,” Logan says gently, “we need to get you warmed up.”

“Oh…”

“It will be easier if we take a few of the layers off,” he explains, still careful to keep his voice low and even as the others scurry around, “is that alright?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to unzip the hoodie.” Logan works slowly, patiently, stopping when any flicker crosses Roman’s face. “That’s it, you’re doing very well, I’m almost done.”

By the time he’s coaxed the hoodie off of Roman’s shoulders, there’s a little bit of color back in his cheeks.

“Very good, Roman, you did well. Virgil’s brought a few warm blankets and Janus has heating pads for you, do you think you can sit up?”

“Don’t know.”

“That’s alright, you’re doing alright.” Logan glances up at Janus.

“Little prince,” Janus murmurs, sitting by Roman’s head, “if you can sit up, I can sit behind you and help warm you up, does that sound alright?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you, sweetie, we’re going to sit you up now.”

Logan and Janus sit Roman up slowly, only to pause when the long sleeves of his shirt fall down.

“Roman,” Logan asks, trying frantically to keep his voice calm, “are you hurt?”

“Mhm.”

He bites back the fearful response and patiently asks where, how bad, can he see?

“Everywhere.” Roman lifts his arms weakly. “’S all bruises.”

“…can we see?”

“Okay.”

Logan’s hands begin to tremble as he works the shirt over Roman’s head. He wasn’t kidding when he said everywhere.

There’s barely an inch of skin that doesn’t look bruised black and blue. Patton stifles a cry as he drops to his knees next to them, looking at Roman like he’s never seen it this bad before.

Oh, Roman, how did they not know? How could he just ignore him like that?

“Get him covered,” comes Virgil’s voice, “he’s still too cold.”

Janus grabs one of the blankets and wraps it carefully around Roman’s form. It should help distribute whatever pressure they apply so it won’t aggravate his injuries too severely. He takes one heating pad and scoots forward, bracketing Roman’s legs with his own and wrapping one pair of arms around him to press the pad to his chest.

“Can you feel that, sweetie,” he asks softly, “is that too warm?”

“No.”

“Good, good, little prince, you’re being very brave.” He turns away to reach for another and so misses the little shudder that goes through Roman. “Do you think you can handle another if I press it to the back of your neck?”

“Mm.”

“Let’s try, little prince, and if it’s too much, I’ll stop.”

“Okay.”

“Here we go, sweetie—“ Janus presses it carefully to the base of Roman’s skull, just at the edge of the blanket— “there, does that feel okay?”

“Mm.”

“Good, sweetie, you’re doing so well, so good for us, that’s it, you relax now.”

Roman starts to tremble.

“That’s alright,” Logan soothes, “you’re warming up, it means you’re going to shiver a little more, you’re alright, Roman, you’re safe. You’re doing well.”

It certainly doesn’t seem that way once Roman’s breath starts to come in gasps. Virgil nudges Patton out of the way and sits, gently calling Roman’s name until his gaze snaps to Virgil’s.

“Hey, Princey,” Virgil says slowly, “you gotta stay with me now, okay? We’re right here, no one’s angry, nothing’s going to hurt you. Just focus on me.”

He ignores the startled noises when Roman starts to cry thick, black tears.

“Eyes on me, Princey, that’s it, stay here. We’re just gonna sit here and breathe for a moment, okay?” Roman nods and Virgil starts to take big, exaggerated breaths. “Good. That’s it, Princey, you focus on me and you breathe. It’s okay. You’re doing great. Just stay here.”

When the viscous black liquid slows, Virgil reaches out and begins to tuck Roman’s hair back. A moment longer and he pauses, noting how the scratch on Roman’s face is covered in the thick black tears.

“Princey, can I clean your face off for you? You’re doing really well at breathing, I’m proud of you. Can I help you with the rest of it?”

“O-okay.”

There’s a bottle of micellar water and a pack of cotton circles pressed into his hands. He moves in slow, careful strokes, changing out the circles as often as he needs to. A pile of them grows beside him as he works, doing his best to get all the black off of Roman’s face. Roman just cries.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Patton murmurs when Roman’s cry gives way to a wail, “it’s okay, you cry all you need to, we’re not going anywhere, it’ll be alright.”

“We have you, sweetie,” Janus says against Roman’s neck, “we’re here.”

Remus lets out a broken noise.

“Oh, Roman, you didn’t…”

Logan’s head whips sharply around to scold Remus only for his mouth to fall open in shock.

Remus’s costume is bleeding too. The same black that drips down Roman’s face is slowly coloring Remus’s costume again, back to what it normally looks like. Remus’s mouth is agape, staring horrified at Roman.

“Oh, Ro—“

“What’s going on?”

“Check the bruises on his neck,” Remus orders as Janus pulls back the blanket, “are they still there?”

“They’re here, but they’re…lighter, how is that—?”

“Roman is the Ego,” Patton mumbles, “he gets bruised when—when—“

“Oh, shit,” Virgil curses, before quickly hushing Roman’s discontented mumble, “and with all the hate that’s been gunning for him—“

“Oh, sweetheart—“

Roman lets out another sob and the tears run clear.

“The Ego is kept healthy by positive attention,” Logan says softly, scooting closer and rubbing Roman’s shoulder through the blanket, “you’ve been starving, haven’t you?”

“He’s not cold because he’s hypothermic,” Remus blusters, “he’s touch starved.”

“It’s still not safe to introduce him to direct contact all at once,” Logan warns when Patton and Remus look like they want to rip the blanket off, “we have to take it slow.”

“So what do we do?”

Janus just leans down and presses a kiss to Roman’s temple. “You’re so brave, sweetie, you’ve been so strong.”

They watch as Roman’s tears begin to wash away the black.

“We love you, sweetheart, you’re so important to us.”

“Stay with us, Princey, we need you.”

“You’re doing very well, Roman, we’re very proud of you.”

Roman cries, ducking his head into Virgil’s waiting hands as Remus’s costume colors itself black again.

After a long while, when Remus looks like he normally does, Roman shakes his head and looks up at them.

“Where am I,” and he sounds like Roman again, “what’s happened?”

“You were starving, sweetheart,” Patton mumbles, “and we didn’t notice until it was too late.”

“O-oh,” Roman blinks, “is that…is that why I’m so cold?”

“You’re touch starved too,” Virgil adds, “and we, uh, L said it wasn’t a good idea to try and shock you out of it.”

“Try and drink something,” Logan says quickly as Patton reaches for the mug, “you’ve been crying for a while and you’re dehydrated.”

“Is that…hot chocolate?”

“Your favorite, kiddo.”

Remus sits down at Roman’s side as he drinks, staring at him like he’s not seen him in ages. Which, well, none of them have, really.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Roman repeats, looking sheepishly at all of them, “I, uh, well, the last video I messed up a lot. I, uh, I shouldn’t have laughed at your name, Jan—where are you?”

“Right here,” Janus mumbles, giving him a gentle squeeze, “and you’re forgiven.”

“Oh. Uh, that was easy…are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Yes, it wasn’t great of you to do, but I’m not exactly blameless either and…”

He squeezes him again.

“…you’ve been hurting enough.”

“Logan, you too, I—I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Roman, but I agree. It’s alright.”

“Why are you all forgiving me so fast?”

“Because,” Remus mumbles, cupping Roman’s head and resting their foreheads together, “this happened.”

They all watch as Roman shudders as Remus shows him what happened.

“Oh—oh—I—oh no—“

“It’s over now, sweetie,” Janus reassures, “we’ve got you. You’re okay, you’re safe.”

“C-can I have a hug?”

“Of course, honey, come here—“

“Let’s get the blanket out of the way, L, is he—“

“It should be safe now, yes.”

“Remus, I—oof!”

“I gotcha, Ro-Bro.”

“It’s still—I’m still—“

“Patton, grab that end of the blanket.”

“This one?”

“That’s it, yes.”

The Sides end up swaddled in the blanket, their heads poking out, as each of them pulls a little bit of Roman into their arms to warm up. Janus and Remus wrap around his upper body, mindful of the few bruises that haven’t been healed yet. His legs are in Patton’s lap, as Logan and Virgil each hold on to his hands. The poor thing is still shivering, still shaking, still a little overwhelmed.

But Janus coos into his ear as his head lolls back, Remus holding him tightly. Logan’s thumb strokes over his palm as Virgil lets him squeeze as tight as he needs to. Patton makes sure he’s off the cold tile and he’s warm.

They’re going to have to work out what to do about the fans, about the videos, but right now they need to worry about Roman.

Speaking of Roman—

“I—I need to apologize to Thomas.”

A cry goes up as he says so, Patton reaching up to pat his knee. “You don’t have to do that right now, sweetheart, rest, it’s okay—“

“I won’t—he won’t be able to rest until he knows what’s happened.”

As if he can hear them, they feel the familiar tug of one of them being summoned. A quick glance around shows that if one of them is going, all of them are, so they appear on the floor of the living room, swaddled in the blanket.

Thomas’s mouth drops open and he rushes to their side.

“I was gonna ask if you found Roman, but I—Roman, buddy, are you okay?”

“I…I don’t know,” Roman mumbles, “but I’m sorry.”

“For what, buddy?”

As Roman begins to apologize, for being away, for hurting Thomas, for being selfish, Thomas just shakes his head.

“No, buddy, that’s not all on you. You—yeah, okay, some things happened, but it’s not entirely your fault. You don’t need to think of it like that.”

“Well said,” Logan mutters, “now help us get Roman to rest.”

“So what Disney movie are we watching and how many pillows do we need?”

A lot, as it turns out, is the answer. And they have to bite back laughs at the way Thomas makes a noise when he’s swept into the blanket too. But Thomas is warm and Roman is still cold and the movie plays on the screen.

“Hey, Roman?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re my hero.”

General Taglist:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees

if you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[warnadudenexttime]

Ok so swap aus, love them whole lot!!

Like personality swaps are interesting but the thing that gives sanders sides an edge to swap aus is the idea of the sides swapping traits!

Obvs dark side light side swaps are neat as well but that’s a whole other discussion so

Because I am a hoe for my ships ( that being moceit, analogical, Platonic/brotherly creativitwins ) let’s start off with the concept of

Logan - anxiety

Virgil - logic

Patton - deception

Janus - morality

Remus - light creativity

Roman - dark creativity

Now it’s important to note that listen you rarely see this type of swap, I’ve never seen it atleast??

It’s mostly logicality prinxiety swaps and I get the appeal they’re opposites, so it causes conflict, Same with Logince and moxiety is also a common swap

However!! I do have some ideas :D it’s not a fully fleshed out idea but still a concept!!

Commonly enough when people switch traits for the sides they honestly dont keep a lot of what that side was. For example patton is a hyper, kind hearted sad dad when anxiety he just loses that and just acts like a droopy Virgil yk yk?

So we are gonna try and preserve those personalities without making them not fit for the trait entirely, meaning we may have to exaggerate some details about them

For example:

Canonly, Patton can sometimes be manipulative so we may have to heighten that up a bit, stuff like that

So back on topic

I think we should still keep C!thomas the same, atleast in the beginning of me writing this, we work around the idea of him staying the same as canon and from there we can change him as needed

—————

Logan as anxiety

- a bit more confident as hes listened too more than logic!logan sadly enough

- I’d say hes a lot more open about his more negative emotions, while he does try and to still not show them his anger does slip out a bit much whenever he feels like his points are gonna get thomas killed, lmao insert tempest tongue falsehood joke here

- he’d have the look more that of a tired professor

- wrinkled black button up, he’d have a purple tie. Instead of just like makeup eye shadow, he’d have actual eye bags

- probably kept C!thomas up through many college and school nights for studying

- is always anxious YouTube is gonna fail and regrets not putting up more effort for Thomas to go into his chemical engineering degree

- obvs cause I’m an analogical hoe I’ll sneak this in, Logan really does like virgil as virgil too values thomas’ education and just kinda sits there while Logan angrily rants every single possibility of what could go wrong today

- “and there’s a highly probable statistic that we could end up dying participating in this activity! 75%, virgil!!”

- I think when overwhelmed with his mind racing through probabilities he’d end up messing with or loosening his tie, cleaning his glasses a lot, or chewing on the end of his sleeves

- I think he accidentally blurts out a lot of words especially when he’s trying to hold in his anger, like “THATS A BAD IDEA” then slaps his hands over his mouth and just kinda says, “apologies... I need to stop my sudden outbursts as they’re becoming a frequent problem” and hey the outbursts getting even more worse and uncontrollable could lead to Logan doing an ol duck like in AA

—————

patton as deception

- I think I myself would love a dark side who comes in sickeningly sweet but has “darker” intentions I suppose?

- I think Janus wouldn’t like Patton in the start because he knows how easily manipulated C!thomas can be and to see a seemingly innocent dad try and push some morals on you, he’s cautious

- so Patton when he first appears doesn’t hide himself like Janus did behind a disguise... well sort of?

- he comes in dressed as his outfit in the series, maybe throughout the whole time he’s redirecting the conversation in his favor so no one reveals him, which we’ve seen canon Patton do a good job of being able to distract the sides from fighting so we can say he has that ability himself as well

- maybe like Janus he can stop people from saying words he doesn’t want thomas to know, or well thomas himself doesn’t wanna know

- but instead of the obvious slams hand over mouth it’s more like, Virgil speaks up saying “Thomas, It would probably help you to know that, Patton isn’t exactly-“ and maybe either he tries to finish his sentence and can’t speak, he just lets out air instead of a noise. Or forgets what he was talking about all together, another form of misdirection?

- patton’s whole thing is he came up here, dressed in his lil innocent dad outfit, being sweet as all hell “kiddo, I heard about a certain show you messed of Joan’s? Now we don’t joan hating us do we? We love Joan to death and we wouldn’t wanna hurt them! Can you imagine the look on their face?” Which Janus just says, “are you asking him to lie? You and I both have the understanding that Joan hates being lied to.”

- patton’s like “ehhh I know, but I think saving the relationship is more important! We don’t know if telling the truth could end up hurting Joan more then just a small fib?”

- so blah blah Patton is revealed

- his cardigan is back to his cat hoodie which is the black variety, instead maybe tied around his waist? He could have fingerless gloves that kinda look like cat

- paws? Like, he’s the unlucky black cat. He doesn’t have snake makeup but maybe he has sharps canines/fangs like cats do. And maybe we could keep the polo just make it yellow? Not sure though, but I do wanna have his lil logo go from just a blue heart when first shown to a yellow one with it like, being broken with a claw mark, like someone tore through it

- and why he chose to come in blue in the first place maybe he wanted to show thomas he was similar to Janus or maybe he has a crush on Janus? 👀👀 who’s to say

- but he’s revealed and just ahHhwhaj OH NO THE CAT PUNS, “apawogies Thomas for deceiving you a bit there, I was just trying to help make sure joan is feline good in the end! I do think you should really reconsider- meow I better get on my way then ol’ creativity needs some pasta. Keep my ideas in mind kiddo!” Then leaves lmao

- and that could be a solid set up for Thomas to be like- wait is there two creativities? Yk yk

- I do have some ideas for how svs and svs redux could go but yeah

- overall Janus, not really that known for having an animal trait as much as Patton and Roman but Janus could turn into a snake for svs redux-

I’m getting a head of myself lol

- point is, lmao- Patton’s animal trait is a cat

- he’s still kind? He can be a bit more pushy then canon Patton. But his first method is always just a gentle nudge and, “oh come on kiddo, I think your father would probably agree with me on this one”

- he’s not so much for thomas’ self  preservation as more so he pushes thomas to help his friends and because he wants to make sure thomas looks good enough for them so they’ll stay he ends up pushing for lying

I have some more ideas for the other sides as well but just wanted to see what some thoughts are before I keep on developing this :D

[hetacon]

Stick Up For Me and We’ll See Where That Gets You

Word Count; 1,400

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warning: Swearing, crying, slight reference to Virgil and Janus not having the best relationship, Roman is insecure

______________________________

Summary: Roman can’t help but notice as Virgil has started to look out for him more. He’s not quite sure but he intends to find out.

______________________________

Note: This story takes place after “Flirting With Anxiety” and follows my main thoughts and overall analysis of the episode which you can find here!

______________________________

Roman was extremely confused on what had been happening with Virgil lately.

Sure, Virgil was a pretty decent guy and he was much easier to get along with than he had been a while ago (granted that Roman himself had stopped critiquing him so harshly) but this was insanely bizarre.

Virgil, for some reason, had been giving Roman a lot of his attention since one of their most recent trips to the mall. Normally the anxious side wouldn’t have so much as left his room unless they needed his input on something or were doing their scheduling for the week (per Logan’s request as no one else really remembered to do so) but he was just... around more.

Whenever Roman would be out and about, he started noticing Virgil tucked into the couch in the living room, listening to his music. The stranger thing was that he had one of his earbuds out. Roman supposed it was due to wanting to stay vigilant and prepared but he never knew. They actually started to hang out more as a result and rather than stay cooped up in his room alone, Roman would sometimes bring his work to the couch. He sat a fairly comfortable distance from Virgil, making sure to give him room but still provide him company. Roman assumed he wasn’t supposed to see it but every time he worked down there, Virgil always smiled to himself as he looked at his phone.

Another thing Roman definitely started to notice was Virgil making a point that they needed to listen to Roman more. Sure, it felt really nice and Roman always had to try and hide a smile but Virgil never used to do this. He never really tried to steer them in any one direction since they’d accepted him. They’d always run into difficulties before Virgil had ducked out, he had been trying to get their attention beforehand, but it was never on the behalf of one of the others. Roman really failed to see why Virgil singled him out specifically though. Even if they were on better terms, Virgil really didn’t need to, he honestly seemed to be going out of his way to do it.

“Guys, you literally just interrupted Roman for the third time today,” Virgil grumbled out, blowing some of his bangs out of his face.

Roman looked over to Virgil with a confused look before laughing a little. “Oh, it’s alright, I didn’t have much to say Virgil! It’s ok,” he said with a slightly awkward smile. He wasn’t quite willing to admit that his cheeks flushed pink in that moment though at Virgil’s gesture.

After the meeting that day was over and another dilemma solved, Roman was about ready to start up a bath for himself and sing out the entirety of the Disney anthology. He stopped himself as Virgil cast him a subtle glance.

“Er.. Virge? Can I talk to you for a second? It’s nothing bad per say or anything! Just so you know, I know that phrasing is troublesome, oh anxious one,” he chuckled, glad to see as Virgil’s shoulders relaxed.

Virgil sat down on the couch and nodded. “What’s up?”

Roman sat down next to him and awkwardly fiddled with his hands for a moment, thinking about how to word this. “I guess I wanted to ask why you’ve been sticking up for me..? Like with today’s meeting and when you pushed a Thomas to talk to Nico and just... I dont know, you’ve been doing it a lot. I’m just not exactly a damsel in distress, I’m doing alright. You don’t need to stress over how I’m feeling so much,” he tried, trying to sift through Virgil’s expressions but not finding much.

“You’re not weak if you think that that’s what I’m thinking,” Virgil told him.

“No no, it’s not anything like that!” Roman exclaimed before pausing. “Ok, maybe a little. But I know that’s not your fault and it’s not your intention either because I trust you! I just wanted to know, it’s a bit of a ridiculous thing to worry about!”

Virgil took a deep breath, thinking for a moment. “I hate seeing you sad,” he started, looking across the room, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What?” Roman asked after a moment, blinking.

“Mhm, that’s what I said Princey, you struggling to keep up today?” Virgil chuckled a little. “Though really, I know sadness is a part of life and shit and you’re not going to feel happy all the time but the others haven’t been listening to you enough. You need to know you have someone who’s got your back, it’s terrifying being on your own.”

Roman slowly nodded. Virgil did have a point there and his implication that he was trying to support Roman really did things with his heart but he tried to push them back. He still didn’t see the full picture of why Virgil would be doing this.

Sensing Roman’s confusion, Virgil kept talking. “I just know that things since the wedding have been bad. I have no idea what the actual fuck happened after we got back from it but Jesus Christ cause it been suffocating. I just wanted to give you something to hold on and let you know that you can have your own goddamn opinions. Patton and.. Janus-“ Virgil made a face at the name as if it felt weird to say. “Have been seeing more eye-to-eye than I thought was actually possible but they’re ignoring you and holy shit am I tired of it. I just want you to argue with me again. It’s frustrating not having you fight with me, you making jabs at me when we met Nico felt normal. I just want that Roman back, the Roman who has an idea of what he means to people. Oh god, that was sappy, sorry to dump all that on you.”

Roman nodded, taking a few deep breaths. Virgil really felt this way about him?

“Well, I suppose that makes sense... But still, I know you don’t like confrontation, this means you’re dealing with more of it aren’t you? I refuse to let you do so if it causes you distress!” Roman told his anxious companion.

Virgil leaned his head against Roman’s shoulder and Roman felt his heart stop for a single moment.

“I love you more than I’m afraid of sticking up for you, it’s worth a little panic to me,” Virgil muttered out softly.

Something in Roman broke and he felt tears streaming down his cheeks at that. He quickly tried to cover up his face but Virgil just put a hand on Roman’s lap, an offer for Roman to take it if he wanted. Roman instead opted for pulling Virgil into a tight hug, burying his face into Virgil’s hoodie.

Virgil just stayed like that with him for a while, hugging back as tight as he could. It felt nice to have Virgil holding on as if he’d disappear at any moment. Virgil wanted him there. While Roman would’ve immediately shut down that train of thought, he couldn’t avoid that Virgil was literally bypassing all his worst fears just to help Roman out. Roman cried harder.

“We’re gonna figure it out ok? Even though I’m literally a nervous wreck, we’re gonna figure out how to help Thomas. We’re gonna figure out how to help you too, Roman,” Virgil said lowly, holding on to him a bit longer. Roman was almost sad when the hug was over but he was just happy Virgil was there.

“Thank you,” he chuckled out, wiping away tears. Virgil got him a tissue and Roman laughed, crying more at the gesture before kissing Virgil’s cheek without a second thought, Virgil’s only reaction being an undignified squeak as Roman practically threw both of them further into the couch cushions.

Virgil ran a hand through his hair before clearing his throat, looking more flustered than Roman had ever seen him. “You uh... You missed,” Virgil muttered as he looked off to the side.

Roman smiled widely as he cupped Virgil’s cheeks, causing the anxious side to look back at him, a small sheepish smile overtaking his own features. As Virgil smiled, Roman leaned in and kissed him giddily.

______________________________

Taglist: @spookijam, @its-the-cat-queen, @virgils-paranoia, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog

[cheseyre]

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

[rrandomtthings]

Judging you based on your Sanders Sides kin(s):

Hey guys!! Just a quick message to say that there are dark themes ahead (i.e. what the sides are going through and how that may reflect on you). Please be cautious going forward. Please read the message after each individual character (especially if you kin that character) as those messages are to spread positivity and love. Also, please note that points that are made may not apply to you and that’s okay. These are just assumptions, which also means that not every one of them is true. Love you all and stay safe <33

Virgil:

You probably really like MCR and maybe Greenday. You also probably tend to really like the emo characters from different TV shows and you also really like Disney but don’t really talk about it too much. Along with that, you feel like you can’t always be yourself. That, if you express how you really feel, you’ll only end up hurt. You feel that you have to hide apart of you because you’re either too ashamed or too afraid to express it. You also may or may not have a huge secret that has been on your mind as of recent.

*** Don’t be ashamed or afraid, as long as it isn’t anything that would potentially harm someone, express yourself. We would all love to see the real you, not the you that you’re making yourself out to be. The secret part at the end was more of a joke, but it could still really apply to Virgil kinnies. If this secret has been something on your mind, talk to someone who you really trust about it. It could be someone with no involvement at all so you could get an outside percpective. It’s better to let out those inner feelings before it’s too late. Remember that you have this and I’m proud of you :)) love ya!

Patton:

You’re the parent of your friend group. You are the friend that helps your friend(s) when they’re injured. You are the medic on scene, the one who truly thinks about whether this option is the best option. You are also super extroverted and love to chat around with others and make sure that everyone feels atleast a little bit of love. However, you also put others before you put yourself. You tend to put their priorities over your priorities. You also probably have high expectations for yourself.

*** Just remember that you should put yourself over others. Yes, it is important to be selfless when you can rather than when you want. Everyone always wants to be selfless, but there is a distinct line between when you should and shouldn’t. Also, don’t set yourself to these high standards. Yes, you should always try to achieve bigger and better things, but not if it’ll lead to harm. Please, just, put yourself first and ask for help when you need it. We are all here with you and love you kiddos !! You go take that second cookie and enjoy it <3

Logan:

You’re honestly just kind of done with everyone’s bullshit. You probably wish that people would pay more attention to you and stop portraying you as this one individual thing. You are also probably scared to express your emotions. Probably thinking that others are gonna cast your emotions aside and/or you feel like you’re not wanted so your emotions aren’t either. You’re also probably sick of everyone assuming that you’re super smart because you’re a Logan kinnie. That’s not to say that you aren’t, but that assumption probably gets on your nerve after a while.

*** Just remember, don’t be afraid to talk to people about your feelings. You are not a burden. You are wanted. We all love you so, so much. Please realize that you are needed and your feelings do indeed matter. Talk to someone when you need it and remember that there is more to you then what others see. Don’t be afraid to express that you <3

Remus:

You probably really like rewatching old vine compilations on YouTube and laugh even though you’ve probably watched that vine atleast 15 times. Youre also probably super into horror movies. You dont give two shits about what others think about you and you just kind of do your own thing. However, you also probably view yourself as second best and always in someone’s shadow.

*** Please remember that you are important. You are not second best. Despite what anyone says, you are needed. You are just as important as anyone else and we all really appreciate and love you all :)))

Janus:

You’re super into politics and probably think that Trump is awful (rightfully so). For real, you’re probably gonna be the next president one day, I swear. However, you’re also always so mistreated. No one allows you to speak your mind without bashing you. However, you still are vocal. Others may have a hard time letting you speak, but you don’t let that hold you back. You also only want the best for others.

*** Remember that your opinion does matter. Like I said, one of y’all are probably gonna be the president one day. You are just as important as anyone else. We need you and appreciate you so much. Thank you for looking out for others even when they may not be looking out for you. Love you <33

Orange side:

You’re honestly just kind of thriving rn and, quite honestly, can’t blame you. Probably just sitting in the back with some tea watching everything go down. You probably have a twitter account and are just keeping up with all the drama. You’re doing great sweetie, love ya :D

Roman:

No doubt, you are 100% a theatre nerd/ and or love Disney. Spotify? Full of Hamilton, Wicked, Newsies, Falsettos, Moana, etc. However, even though you may be really loud and seem really confident, you are super insecure. You hate being compared to others— if anything you fear it. You feel like your opinions don’t matter and that you’re better off just standing to the side sometimes. You feel like sometimes you can be super mean and it’s something that bothers you like no tomorrow. However, you are super apologetic. You realize the wrong in your actions and do your very best to correct it, no matter how little or big it is, you own up to your mistakes.

*** Please, just, talk to someone. Insecurities are not something that should be held in. You need to talk to someone about those insecurities, let other people know how you’re feeling rather than keeping it all in. Also, your opinion matters. You matter. Please, don’t stand off to the side because we need you. You are our hero. Love you guys so much, remember we are always there for you <33

Oh gosh, this was supposed to be like two sentences per character,, but I don’t regret it. These characters have so much depth to them that I wouldn’t be doing them or their kins justice by putting two or so sentences. Kinning a TSS character at the moment probably isn’t only for the sunshine and rainbows. Also, please let me know if I missed tagging anything. I love you all so much, please don’t forget that. You all matter. You are all needed. I love every single one of you (I really can’t emphasize that enough) have a good day/night <33

[ask-us-sanderssides]

Virge is gonna lose it... :( I’m gonna cry that episode was so emotional please give your thoughts on it I need to knowwwww

// I just rewatched it, so I can give my thoughts about it!!! And turns out I had a lot of thoughts lol

- love the 8bit intro

- patton is honestly trying to not control thomas anymore and I think thats great!

- The new song is a fucking bop, one of my new faves!!!

- Thomas: "I could have just told them everything before the wedding!" UM DUHHH???

- "A BAGEL??" "No what? maybe? no, it's nothing!" "AUUGHHH"

- video game thomas is adorable

- i love patton, but it was very difficult to get behind his arguments

- I HOPE YOUR READ LOGANS LOWDOWN BECAUSE THIS BOI EDUCATES

- I read all of them, but i missed some stuff the other characters said. it kinda took out the flow of the video

- why shouldnt you do good things because it makes you feel good? it makes others feel good and you too. isnt that enough?

- this video is so confusing i need subs

- im kinda upset that thomas was more worried about his blinds than patton ):

- i love logans german accent

- patton dont just ignore the truuuuuuuth

- THE SKIP BUTTON WAS YELLOW AND BLACK UGGHH IT WAS DECEIT

- ROMAN NOOOOO YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN THE WAY WE ALL NEED YOU

- I really wish thomas would drop a link to all the background music i love it so much

- deceit really nails acting as logan this time. he even used the right tie, and no one noticed it wasnt logan

- deceit is so smart and educated i love him sm

- patton honey it's gonna be okay....

- at first i thought logan was being a little harsh towards patton, but now it turns out it was deceit the whole time

- uggh deceit was way too cool during the video game sequence.... his deep voice is so sexy

- they way he protects thomas ahhh

- i rewatched this scene 100 times it's so good

-hhhh roman why are you being so much against deceit, he's on YOUR side in the whole argument

- roman loves patton too much.... he should listen to deceit a bit more

- deceit is so chaotic, even tho we think he's so smooth and collected

- YASSS LOGAN BACK OUR SNEK UP, loceit shippers are crawling out of their holes

- DECEIT SAID MENTAL HEALTH RIGHTS

- "well when is it enough??" .... trees?

- roman calm your tits deceit wants to HELP

- ROMAN HAVENT YOU LEARNED ANYTHING FROM YOUR MISTAKES WITH VIRGIL???

- ill be honest, deceit hit home but he had all reason to lash out, roman laughing at his name was bullshit

- also i did so not expect a name reveal

- WHO EVER SAID DECEIT'S EVIL???

- i squealed so much when roman sank out noooooo

- deceit was so soft when he saw that patton was upset

- the way patton said "im sorry.... heh, again!" he sounded so sad ahhh its okay hun

- i kinda dont like that they talk about deceit being a part of thomas imperfection, like we learned in this episode that he's so much more than just deceit

- I LOVE THE ENDCARD THEY ARE SO SOFT NGGHHHHH PATTON AND JANUS ARE BECOMING FRIENDS

- patton trusting janus enough to let him take care of thomas hnngnghgh moceit is thriving

- i also loved that as soon as he gave them his name, patton only called him janus and not deceit anymore

- my god deceit literally came when thomas said he's right, seems like he has the same fetish as logan lololol

[wallypollyanna]

Waltz De Chocobo

Moxiety, background logince, hurt/comfort, soulmate au

The basic idea of soulmates was a common mystery to scientists, one that was often studied.

There had yet to be a reason, or theory as to how they worked. No soundwaves, no emission, nothing explained how a person a there soulmate can hear the same music.

All that, however, didn't really matter to Patton Hart. He didn't need to know why and how he and his soulmate were connected, just that they were!

And he knew his soulmate was out there, because it was really common for him to hear soft music coming from no where.

A good chunk of the time, it's loud, hard music that's right up in his face.

(Roman labeled it "pg-13" music, and told him that his soulmate was some sort of emo edge Lord)

And while Patton didn't really mind it when his soulmate listened to that kind of music (Even though it really wasn't his type), he absolutely adored it when they played a different type.

He didn't really know how to explain it. Despite having no words, the music felt very emotional and powerful. Some of it was light hearted, that made Patton excited to go around and do meaningless things with the jolly tune, some of them making him feel very strong, helping h.be ready to face whatever awaited him.

However, there were certain songs that his soulmate would play, that really got to him, tugging on his heartstrings. 

These songs were slower, and more intentional, mostly. When his soulmate played them, he always tried to settle down and get ready to some hours of thoughtful sadness, or melancholy. They all just felt very personal.

That's why Patton really didn't mind when they played those songs. They actually we're some of his favorites. He couldn't help but feel close to his soulmate when they did, and he couldn't wait for the day they got to listen to them together.

For Patton, today was a good day.

He woke up pretty easily and well rested, his morning playlist (Him and his soulmate had ended up taking turns with the morning music, to keep it from sounded up gurgled up) consistened of the happier tunes he had, adding a pep in his step when he walked into school.

After that, his day continued to go like normal, going from classes to class and trying to pretend he was full paying attention, of only to keep his brother Logan from scolding him about daydreaming again.

When he was walking to free period, he heard music start playing, and recognized it as his soulmates. He smiled at it, and hummed along to the happy tune.

Only to hear fast footsteps behind him.

"Hey! I'm sorry, but is that "Waltz de Chocobo your humming? From Final fantasy?" The boy asked, who had run up to him from behind.

Patton tilted his head. "I'm actually not sure. My soulmate plays it a lot, so I don't really know what it is." He smiled again, "But I know it's really catchy!"

The other boys smile seemed to change slightly. "Soulmate, eh? Well, I know a friend of mine happens to really like that soundtrack, and I believe may even listen to it a lot."

Patrons felt his excitement go from 10-100 in a split second.

"Really? Does his listen to music like it a lot? Oh!! What's his favorite?? Oh, actually why-"

"-dont you ask him yourself?"

He stopped abruptly.

The boy looked at him. "I'm sure he'd like to meet you! I can you give his number, if you'd want?"

And the dial turned back to 100.

"Yes!! I'm Patton, by the way."

"Emile!"

The next day was a different kind of day the yesterday.

Yesterday, everything had worked out well for him to have a good day, he was happy and bubbly, and he loved to be.

But today he felt different.

And, annoyingly enough, it was a day where there was nothing to make him feel off!! He should feel happy, he was going to get to met his soulmate!

But no, instead he felt all sad, and, due to his brother and father's insistence, was gonna stay home from school. 

"You shouldn't push yourself, you know." Logan told him. "Some time alone may help you back to optimal performance"

"Yeah yeah,and I know your just happy because it means you get to make out with Roman with me interrupting."

Logan, In all his eloquence, responded with "Die", before finally leaving the house.

Not long after, Patton heard the morning music start. But, weirdly enough, it wasn't the more "punk" stuff they played in the morning.

No, it was the same song from yesterday that Emile had recognized. As it came to a close, Patton figured out that they were going to be playing this music all day.

He quickly took out his phone, and texted them, telling them to meet him after school.

After sending the text and getting confirmation, he quickly fell back asleep.

Which resulted in him completely oversleeping.

What he had planned to do was to wake up early enough to shower, find a cute outfit, and have some time to make himself look nice.

No, instead he only had 10 minutes to get himself together before he had to hurry himself out the door.

He barely had time to brush his teeth, try and tame his mop of hair, and get dressed in his only clean pants (the black one he hardly wore) and an overly large sweater, that made him look much smaller.  

By the time he got outside and on his way to met his soulmate (He was meeting his soulmate looking like this???), He realized it was starting to rain.

And he hadn't even thought to grab an umbrella.

So by the time he got to the coffee shop they agreed to meet in, he was soaking wet, exhausted, and honestly still kinda sad.

He sat his stuff done, and went in line to order himself something warm to drink. 

While doing so, he passed by some sort of reflective decoration, and got a good look at himself.

He was pale from the cold, and still wet. The area around his eyes were dark, and his large round glasses showed off just how exhausted he looked. His hair wasn't in any better condition, laying flat, In a way Patton knew it wouldn't stay for long, since it would dry and just pop back up poofier then before.

He had to stop himself from tearing up at that, not wanting to be too much to soon for his soulmate to deal with. He quickly got his drink, and went back to sit at his table to wait for them.

He considered turning on some music to help distract him from his thoughts ( why today of all days do I have to feel like this? Why do I have to look like that today of all days? Why couldn't have for once i-), but decided against it, not knowing what his soulmate would want.

He had only been sitting down, drinking his coco, long enough for his hair to dry partly, before he heard the music.

And he started crying instantly.

Because no, it couldn't have been just any music, no, it had to be the sad piano one that they hardly ever played. Patton couldn't figure out why, but hearing it just made him feel such longing, like he was chasing something he could never hope to catch.

Patton took one more look at himself through his reflection in his phone, before shaking his head, much more violently then intended.

no,.nonononomonono. I can't meant them like this, they can't see me like this. They can't, they can't

He grabbed his things, and practically tried to run out of the doors of the shop back into the streets, where the rain was starting to fall heavier.

But, before he could get back out to it and proceed to get himself completely soaked again, and probably end up being sick, he ran face first into the chest of some stranger.

Which did absolutely nothing to stop the water works.

Patton couldn't even bring himself to look up at the poor soul he had run into, before he felt himself be gently guided back to a table and sat down. He realized that during all of this, his soulmate turned off they're music, and that almost made him cry harder.

After a minute, he had finally calmed down enough to look at the person he had knocked into .

He was a scrawny man, looking at him with with scared,mix matched eyes. His hair was dyed a vibrant purple, which matched well with his patched hoodie.

Patton wiped his eyes. "I-im sorry, I'll just be going-"

"Are you Patton?" The other boy blurted out.

Patton just stared at him.

"Yes?"

Suddenly, the boy seemed like he could look anywhere, but at Patton. "Well, it's just that, y'know, my friendmentionedthattheymetsomeonetheythoughtwasmysoulmateandyoumatchthedescriotionprettywell"

That got Patton flustered, blushing and coughing into his tissue.

"W-well? Should we test it?" He asked.

The other boy took out his phone, headphones, and after a brief moment of pause of hesitation, pressed play."

Patton heard the soft begining of one of his favorite songs his soulmate would play.

And he looked up at the other boy, nodding slowly, before he started going quicker, before he stood and took the seat next to the boy, rather then across him.

"Your my soulmate!" He caught site of his reflection "I'm, uh, sorry you didn't get to meet me on one of my better days. But that doesn't matter right now! Who are you? What's your name? What's all the music you listen to from? Emile said something about fantasy, but I doubt that's where all of its from. What's your favorite song younplay? Ohhhh, you can show me the names!! And-"

"Hey, hey Pat. Slow down. I'm not going anywhere"

Patton blinked at him. "So?"

He shifted nervously. "Well, my name's Virgil, I guess by "music", you mean the game ost's, and yeah, a lot of it is from final fantasy 7, and probably anxious heart, which was the one I just played."

Patton felt himself grin. "That's one of my favorites!" 

Virgil felt a small matching grin grow into his face.  

They talked, and as the rain let up slightly, Patton offered to let Virgil come over for a while.

That's how Patton found himself curled up with his newly found soulmate, with Virgil showing the game he had heard so much of. He was making slow progress have Weber, since he kept getting distracted by the music.

Once Logan got home, he was a bit shocked to not only see him in his home unexpectedly, but also curled up with his brother.

"What are you doing here?" They said In sync.

Logan huffed, and adjusted his bag. "Well i live here, thank you very much. Now, may I properly know what you are doing here?"

Patton looked over at Logan. "He's my soulmate, Lolo! Do you know him?"

Logan glanced at him again. "I do, actually. He is my science partner. But I seem to remember that he discussed with me being quite infactuated with a someone he wouldnt disclose to me."

Virgil seemed to react to that very quickly. "That's not important right now! Logan, how about you go find some formulas to solve?" 

Logan rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room. "Just thinking about how much simpler it would have been if you had admitted to having a crush on my younger brother" he yelled on his way out.

Patton cooed at Virgil as he tries to his his face, curling into him more, turning up the volume, finally able to enjoy the music with his soulmate.

[exhaustedarts]

Spreading Like Poison Ch.2

Ch. 1  Ch. 3  Ch. 4

Virgil and Janus have been dating for over a year now, and the fans were demanding a Q&A after it finally was announced. 

Janus had gotten a spot near the beanbag chair, which was opposite of Virgil. There was one question for the ‘Anxceit ship,’ as the fanders called it. It was directed at Virgil.

Thomas asked, “Is Deceit a shitty boyfriend to have?” He looked up at Virgil, surprised.

Janus had stood there in shock, his mouth gaping open. The others were put off by it too, but Virgil didn’t skip a beat. 

“I mean, I wouldnt say shitty, but he isn't a great one, either… He lies duh, he'siterally the personification of deception, but he also doesn't listen to me.  I make a point, he doesnt like it. I don't really get why he always contradicts me, though. Its kind of.. Well, illogical. And I know logic isn’t his forte, so..”

Janus sputtered. “Wh- b- I-”

Patton frowned. “You do do that. I mean the contradiction. Well, I assume also the lying. Maybe you should try to agree with each other more! Agreement is the key to a healthy relationship.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, his hand sliding to his katana. “What do you lie about, Janus?”

Janus felt his sasy, sarcastic video persona crumble. “I- I try not to,” He said, looking around the room nervously. “I’ve been trying not to mess up, honest!”

Virgil shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me.”

Logan had adjusted his glasses in that, ‘I’m about to spout a few facts,’ way. “It seemed to me that it did seem to bother you, at least a little. In fact, according to recent psychologists, lying in a relationship destroys self esteem, and it develops trust issues between people. As humans, we need to be able to trust someone, and usually someone who is deceptive is someone we don’t need to trust. Perhaps Janus is not the best partner.”

Janus felt absolutely sick. Thomas’s Logic had proved that he was a bad boyfriend. “I- I- I-” He couldn’t force a proper sentence out. After a couple failed attempts, fully aware of the others watching him, he forced out some kind of sentence. “I don’t want to be, I don’t mean to,” He hiccuped. “I’m- I’m so sorry,” he said, and with a choked off sob, he sunk out before he could hear a reply. 

The room was silent for a moment. 

“He seemed genuinely upset,” Thomas said, shocked. “That wasn’t his lying tone, I think that he really didn’t know he was hurting Virgil like that.”

"The poor kiddo.." Patton said. "I'm gonna go check on him." 

"He actually kinda likes to deal with things alone.. learned that the hard way." Virgil chuckled. 

"The hard way?" 

"Yeah, he hisses at me then ignores me. It's fine though."

Patton made a concerned nose at the back of his throat. "Kiddo, it sounds like a bad relationship. Maybe you guys should break up?"

Virgil shrugged. "Maybe." 

Janus sighed heavily. He was looking back at the footage in the present, and he honestly couldn't care less at this point. Virgil had made it evident that he'd fucked up everything. But he loved Virgil! He didnt want to break up with him, and he hadn't brought it up.

At this point, he was just feeling depressed.  He didnt really want to do anything anymore unless it was sitting on the couch taking up as little room as possible. 

After he had heard Virgil say how he lies and how it made a bad relationship, to ensure he didnt lie, he talked as little as possible. 

He had even given up his self care days. Those were the days where he sat in his room in a Scooby Doo onesie, binged all of the What's New Scooby Doo's, and ate an entire pot of Mac n' cheese. Logan highly protested those days, since they were bad for his health, so he just quit them to avoid discourse. 

Earlier in the week, he had taken his box of 'special' memories and given them back. Logans old tie, Roman's old sash, and one of Patton's stuffed animals. He remembered presenting them to the sides with a look of shame on his face. 

The hardest to return was Virgil's old hoodie. He had been nervous about it for an hour before he had finally worked up the courage. He had said, “I.. I kept this after you changed your style. I know it was weird, but you hated me and.. I didnt know what to do.”

Virgil was silent for a full minute before answering. “Creep,” he said, and hung the hoodie in his closet.

So here Janus was now, laying on his bed and watching the latest Sides episode for the eighth time in a row.

He felt a tug on his navel and he flinched. Someone was lying. 

He sighed again, putting his phone away. He needed to get some food, he knew that. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care. So he just laid there, staring at the ceiling. 

Someone knocked on the door and Janus groaned. “Come on in,” He said, rolling over.

Virgil opened the door. “Yo, snakeface. Haven’t seen you in a while, so get your ass downstairs before I drag you down.”

“I don't really want to..” Janus’s bed was soft, and he was comfortable and warm. 

“I know that we dont need to eat or do anything, but stop being lazy. Its really not the good kind of selfish.” Virgil said pointedly, sitting down on Janus’s bed. 

Janus sighed. “But-”

“Just come down before everyone is more stressed out. Remus had a whole cake for breakfast, now hes chasing down the others going, ‘IMMA FUCK YOU’ and you know how to deal with it. Also you should eat something otherwise Patton’ll die from the stress.”

Janus twisted the sheets. “Okay. Um, who let him have a whole cake?”

“He got up and made one at 3 in the morning. It actually looked edible. Then he just started ripping out chunks of it and eating it. Theres frosting everywhere.”

Janus chuckled. Virgil was just sitting there with him for once, and he felt content to just stay like this, with Virgil and his snake plushes. But he had to go downstairs. 

“Hey Virgil?” He said, sitting up. “Do you hate me?” He lifted his eyes to Virgils.

“Why do you ask?” 

“Well, I was rewatching the QnA thing, and- and the one question about if I’m a shitty boyfriend.. And I was just wondering if you.. if you hate me.” Janus stared into his lap. 

Virgil scooched closer, putting his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “Is it because I dont hug you enough? I can be more affectionate!”

Janus’s skin was lit on fire and he smiled softly. “Yeah… this is nice..” 

Virgil gave him a light squeeze and stood up. “We can cuddle later. Right now, lets go downstairs.”

Janus groaned and pushed himself off the bed. “Remind me again, why do I have to go?"

"You know how to calm Remus down. Now come onnnn," He tugged on Janus arm like a child, smiling.

Janus laughed. "Okay, okay!" He grabbed his hat and allowed Virgil to drag him out.

[babysizedfics]

Roman involuntarily going into littlespace because he's repressing it, cgs comfort him that its ok to be little

so on saturday roman became upset by something, and usually he can cope. but the thing is, in the last few weeks he has been repressing his littlespace A LOT because he felt like he just got his adult life back, and he throws himself 100% into things

he threw himself into littlespace at first and now he threw himself into adult life and ignored his age dreaming. even when he wanted to he forced himself to keep being grownup - or in his teen headspace if he needed to get out frustration

but this time he couldnt actually help it, he accidentally started feeling really little to cope with his negative emotions. it wasnt even that bad what happened, but its the stick that broke the camels back yknow - basically he had to feed vee at snacktime and she got messy and roman complained she was gross then ppl on the blog called him mean for saying it

so roman was suddenly little, and went to sit with his family bc he didnt want to be alone but he still hid being little. he just stayed silent, even while internally he just kept thinking i want daddy i want my daddy i wanna be held i want mommy to say its all okay

then vee fell asleep in mamas lap and logan took her up to bed, and when he returned to the living room with patton and roman he jokingly asked "so i take it snacktime went well going by the applesauce all over her clothes?"

and romans face immediately crumpled and he started crying

it was so sudden and unexpected and out of character, the caregivers were frozen for a moment as roman desperately hid his face in his hands and folded into himself on the couch

when roman cries its very quiet too, so even though he was close to sobbing he bit his lip hard so he didnt make a sound and was just sniffling and tiny whimpers kept escaping

the caregivers hearts broke a little

logan immediately crouched in front of ro asking "roman what happened? why are you upset sweetheart?"

meanwhile patton jumped up from his chair and quickly scooched over on the couch to be right next to ro and put an arm around him "honey, can you tell us what you need?"

and at that roman just whimpered "daddy" in his super little voice, strained from holding back his cries

"oh little prince" patton cooed sounding heartbroken, he wiggled his free arm under romans legs and shuffled him into his lap in seconds. "shh, it's okay, daddys got you baby"

roman tensed and logan gave patton a stern look at the nickname slip, and patton hurriedly apologized - its just natural for him to use that word

usually roman is a tad insecure about the fact that hes taller than patton when hes in psttons lap bc hes worried it looks weird, but he didnt have the energy to worry this time and just lets his daddy cradle his head to his shoulder and rock him as romans cries got harder to hold back. it felt such a relief to finally be little and let his daddy take care of him, but it was v overwhelming since it was basically involuntary

logan swiftly joined them on the couch, pressing himself right up against patton and rubbing his hand firmly over romans back and shushing him gently and reassuring "good boy. it's okay, let it out. its okay to cry little one" because he knows how embarrassed roman gets about crying, especially when little

but then roman choked through his tears "n-not sposed to be - be l-little!" then sniffled and whimperd again and buried a sob in pattons shoukder

and logan calmly managed to coax him to talk about why, in the same way he coaxed vee into evaluating why she thought diapers werent for her in labd. lots of gentle prodding into why roman answers the way he does, why is he supposed to be big, why is being little bad

patton knew to stay quiet during this process, just squeezing roman to encourage him to answer, and kissing his wet cheek when he says something that makes pattons heart ache

then eventually logan got roman to admit that hes been forcing himself to be bigger because he thought he should be big to not bother the caregivers and to help look after vee and so he is "more of a real grownup" when hes with his friends

the thing is once you manage to break into that well of emotion that romans been repressing, he cant stop it from flowing. so once they reached that conclusion roman just kepts rambling (all while little and stumbling over his words)

"i i been tryna be a big big boy and big brother for vee vee cos shes a baby and needs a big brother... b-but i dont wanna be that big all the time, its too big, i wanna be a little big brother again. too much big"

then patton sighed "oh sweetheart, we know youve been much more grownup recently but we thought it's because you wanted to be big"

" i do!" roman argued loudly, more tears building "b-but little too a-and... and i dunno" he finished in a sob, and patton quickly pulled him closer to his chest and rocked him

logan realised roman is too little to have such a complex discussion about tricky emotions, so he promised that the following day they would all have a big grownup talk about how to help roman find a better balance.

"but for tonight" logan whispered, leaning down and kissing romans head and cupping his jaw gently and looking at him gently "mommy and daddy are going to take care of our sweet little prince. how does that sound, little one?"

romans lip wobbled and he nodded and launched himself into mommy lap to give him a tight hug

so that night logan and patton gave their full attention to taking care of roman and helping him be extra little - they watched disney movies and held their little prince and encouraged his headspace, singing along to the songs and poking roman playfully to get him to giggle and sing along too but much quieter than usual.

patton even reminded roman when to go use the potty, not because roman would ever have an accident but because its another way of showing roman that daddy is taking care of him and to reinforce that younger headspace that ro so clearly needed that night

they were all squished onto the one couch - its big enough for them to spread out but logan and patton sat shoulder to shoulder, with roman laid across pattons lap and his head on logans shoulder. with daddy letting roman play with his fingers as a fidget and logan scritching his nails gently at the base of romans neck which makes him sleepy

and every once in a while, logan would lean down and kiss romans temple so gentle, seemingly randomly but actually its that logan kept thinking about how little he knows about romans mental state recently. and whenever he thought "god i wish i knew what was going on in his head", he would lean down and kiss it in the hopes it plants the thought in romans mind that his parents love him

roman was actually very low energy - usually his littlespace is defined by playfulness and loudness and running and jumping and dancing, but on that specific night he was very quiet, very sleepy, and very very cuddly. he really just needed to feel protected because it was such a vulnerable state for him, being involuntarily little, so just letting his caregivers take full control and take care of him and look after him was exactly what he needed

he would never ever say this to anyone and the caregivers agreed to not tell vee or anyone else, but i think they actually had snacks at one point and roman was just so muted and sleepy and clingy that he didnt wanna let go of daddys hand to get some popcorn even though when patton asked roman admitted he was hungry... so logan offered to feed him, and roman very shyly accepted and let logan put lil pieces of popcorn in his mouth

he thought it was embarrassing, but it actually gave him more energy both because popcorn is yummy and because he found it fun and got kindve giggly - to which patton of course told him he was adorable

after the first movie though vee actually woke up from her nap regressed and the caregivers took it in turns looking after her while the other stayed and cuddled roman extra tight

but soon vee was put in bed for good for the night - roman actually got a little upset again because he assumed since mommy was putting the baby to bed, that meant it was romans bedtime too and he would have to be all alone in his room.

but then logan returned to the living room with the baby monitor in hand and immediately asked "so what movie next, sweetheart?"

bedtime be damned, the caregivers stayed up watching disney films with their little one until he fell asleep snuggled in his mommys lap

just imagine those really gentle vibes when you fall asleep on the couch as a kid and your parent gently wakes you up and leads you up to bed. Exactly like that, patton very gently woke roman up once the credits were rolling like an hour after roman dropped off to sleep

"mmh... daddy.. wha?" roman mumbled sleepily

and patton smiled, happy that roman was still letting himself be little. and of course in that moment he decided there was no way roman was going to sleep alone that night.

"c'mon honey, up up"

roman whined as logan helped push him off his lap and stand up

"i know sweetie. but you can sleep in my bed tonight, isn't that exciting?"

as soon as roman heard that it gave him more motivation to let his daddy hold his hand and carefully lead him upstairs to pattons room while roman is just blinking sleepily and letting his cg take full control and take care of him

logan helps to set up romans njghtlight in pattons room while patton helps roman brush his teeth, and then gives roman one last hug and big soft kiss on his head. "we can talk about it when youre big, but i promise you can be little for as long as you want, ok?"

roman sighed sleepily "ok mommy"

"good night little one, i love you" another forehead kiss

"love you mommy"

and then logan went off to his own bed while patton got him and roman settled in his bed for the night. logan honestly knew he wasnt the best person to take care of roman overnight because he really isnt a cuddly sleeper but roman really is, so he trusted pstton to be the primary caregiver and cuddle roman in bed

meanwhile logan kept vees baby monitor in his room which isnt how it usually goes. usually its in patton room bc patton is a light sleeper and likes to be the one to take care of his baby if she wakes up in the night, but logan took on that job for that night so that patton could focus fully on roman

...

the next day roman was still little but in the playful bouncy way again almost instantly! then when he grew up later in the day the three of them had a serious talk about how to help roman feel better about his littlespace/grownup life balance

logan broke it down into exact hours for roman - they realised that there was 20-25 hours every week where roman had to be grownup for various commitments and responsibilitiea. and the other 148 hours? (ish bc i cant remember the maths lol) logan and patton assured roman he could be little for all of those other hours if he really wanted to be and they would be completely okay with it

and seeing it broken down into numbers and basic stuff really helped roman , he is still going to struggle a little with letting himself be extra little when he needs it, and itll be tricky for him to find a good balance of little vs big because he gets so invested in one headspace so easily, but its backed up by those numbers and by the knowledge that his caregivers really do love to take care of him

[trashfroggie]

Paternal Instincts (Part 2)

Words: 1470

Pairings: Platonic Moxiety

Warnings: Heavy embarrassment

Patton has parental instincts and treats Virgil like a baby. Virgil doesn’t know what’s going on.

While Patton was cooking he constantly made sure that Virgil had everything that he needed. He had already set him up with a blanket around his shoulders and chocolate milk even though he knew that Virgil usually drank coffee. Logan hadn't said anything about it but did give Virgil a knowing look that he didn't return.

Virgil looked down into the milk and sucked on the straw in thought. He must have done something that made Patton concerned. That was why Logan knew what was happening and Roman was sent to his room. He guessed he would just have to bring it up to Patton when they were in private. 

A plate of scrambled eggs and bacon were put in front of him with a smile, but Logan was allowed to get his own food. Virgil looked up to thank him but was met with the sight of a spoonful of eggs. "Patton..?" He questioned.

Patton kept on smiling. "I just wanna make sure that you're eating enough! Now say ahh." He said, prompting the spoon closer.

Virgil shook his head,"No, no..I'm eating enough, Patton. I don't need you to do this.." he averted his eyes.

"Awe, there's no reason to be embarrassed, honey! It's just you and me."

Virgil shook his head again. "No..Logans here and- and I just want to do it myself, okay?" He said softly.

"Well, if that's what you want." Patton said and set the spoon down for him. "Now eat up." He said, lifting a piece of his own bacon and pretending to eat it like Virgil didn't know what he meant by telling him to eat.

Was this mocking? That wasn't in Patton's nature. He started to eat anyway and refrained from making eye contact. Patton ate his own food, too, but would wipe Virgil's mouth if he got any spots.

Logan still didn't say anything. He had honestly thought that Virgil knew what was happening, so he didn't explain it to him. When Logan was done he got up and left to his room with a thank you to Patton.

Seeing the opportunity, Virgil thought of how to phrase his asking,"I- Patton..are you okay?" He asked.

Patton smiled,"I'm great. You don't need to worry about me. Even though it is sweet of you." He poked his nose again.

Virgil huffed a bit in frustration,"Well, it's just that you're acting a lot different than you usually do..Im feeling just fine, too, you know?"

"Oh, that?" Patton giggled,"I just love you so much, Virgey. And I want to make sure that you have everything you need." Patton assumed that Virgil was done eating and scooted over to pat his back. Virgil felt a little guilty. "Oh..well..I guess..you can do that..'' he said softly. Who would he be to deny Patton's affection?

"That's great to hear." Patton said and kept feeding himself with his free hand. "I have to take Romans food to him in a minute, but then I can go and run your bath for you." 

Virgil was going to say that Patton didn't have to do that, but he felt a burp bubble up in his chest and he muffled it the best he could with his hand. He didn't get a chance to excuse himself before Patton was clapping happily,"That was a good one!" And he stopped patting his back.

Virgils face redenned. Patton had been trying to burp him that entire time! And it worked! Virgil hid his face in his sleeve and Patton giggled. "You can go and watch TV now until your bath is ready. I'll take care of everything."

Virgil could only nod, being overwhelmed with embarrassment. His cool, mysterious  aesthetic was being thrown out the window and he didn't know what to do about it...but Patton does seem happy doing this. And it was out of love. He thought about it while sitting on the couch even though he knew he should probably go to Logan to get it explained to him. He didn't want to risk being embarrassed in front of the others, though. He could practically feel the other dark sides smirk at all of this. They could appear at any moment and just laugh at him. 

But he couldn't help but feel ungrateful at the same time. He groaned and laid back on the couch, curling up in thought.

-----------------

Patton brought the plate of food up to Romans room and knocked in his own rhythm. Each of them had their own unique way of knocking so that everyone knew who was asking to come in. "Roman? You can come out now. I've got breakfast for you." 

Roman opened the door but was still pouty, crossing his arms but taking the plate. "Well, I could have left any time I wanted. I just didn't feel like it." He said stubbornly. Patton smiled softly at him,"Of course. I might have overreacted. It's just that I love Virgil so much and I don't like people talking bad about him...you know that."

"Yes yes, I understand. But I wasn't saying anything behind his back, I assure you. Virgil was watching you and Logan in the kitchen while you were making breakfast. I was just being...teasing. I thought he might come out." He started to eat while standing. Patton tilted his head.

"Aw. You think he was too nervous to go into the kitchen? He was kinda tense.. I think I might've made him worry about me. I dont know what I did, but I think we mightve solved it..I dunno. My mind gets so clouded when I'm around him today."

Roman raised an eyebrow, thinking he might've understood what was happening. "Pat...is this about when we went to get ice cream with our friends and we bought that kid another ice cream after they dropped theirs? That shy teenager?" 

Patton smiled at the memory,"Oh they were so precious. And I could tell we made them happy. I've been thinking about that a lot, yeah, but I don't see what it has to do with this."

Roman contemplated telling Patton that it was just his instinct kicking in with Virgil, but wasn't too sure about it. He knew that he should tell Virgil, though. "Oh, nothing. Just go on with you, I have to do something." Patton giggled,"Okay." And he went to the bathroom to run the bath for Virgil.

Roman went downstairs to see Virgil in the position that he had known himself, being confidence and all. The curl of humiliation. It was kind of funny to think of what must have happened before in order for Virgil to get to this state.

"Hey, Virgil."

Virgil startled and sat up,”Oh, Princey, yeah, what?” he tried to rub the blush off of his face.

“I’m not going to make fun of you. First of all, I didn’t even see anything to make fun of, unfortunately, and secondly you need to bear through this.”

“Through what?”

“Through Patton.” 

Virgil obviously looked confused and sputtered a bit but Roman interrupted. “It’s his instinct, V. Like whenever you grow bigger during big worry time, or when Logan pulses during a headache. This is what Patton does.” he tried to explain.

“He...what exactly is it that he’s doing?”

“Parenting. And I think I figured out that it’s not so random who he chooses after all. Remember the ice cream teen?”

Virgil nodded,”Yeah, I remember. So he chose to do this to me for his instinct?”

“Oh don’t get too excited. My theory is that it depends on the type of kid that he sees. He doesn’t consciously do any of this. But you do have to deal with it, now.”

Virgil stiffened,”Wh-Why do I have to deal with it?! Can’t his instincts go pick someone else?! I’m not...I don’t..”

“You don’t what?” 

Virgil took a deep breath. It sounded stupid and childish,”...feel...cool.”

  Roman just laughed,”Oh, Virgil. Of course you don’t feel dignified. Usually this passes in a day or two. Just deal with it until it’s over and try not to upset him. Then you can go back to being as edgy as your heart desires! But right now our heart desires you. And you have to take it for the team. After all, you wouldn’t want to be the reason for Patton's tears, would you?”

Virgil sighed,”No..” He thought about it and hummed,”Fine. Just as long as you and Logan stay in your rooms while all this is happening. And try to keep you brother and his friend away for me.”

Roman hummed,”Okay. And I’ll find a way that you can pay me back later.”

Virgil rolled his eyes.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

So tumblr ate the ask of course, but @multi-fandom-remy (I hope this was you that requested this my memory is not good and if it wasnt I'm sorry) sent a fic request where Janus has alexithymia and Remy falls for him regardless. Gonna just post it this way, suck it hell site!

I had to do some research for this as I dont know anyone who has this and I dont personally experience it. I tried to write it as accurately and respectfully as possible but please let me know if you feel I wrote it wrong or in a way that's offensive.

Three Times Janus Didn't Understand and The One Time Remy Did

Summary: Janus has alexithymia and doesnt understand what hes falling for; Remy is perfectly content to teach him.

Warnings: none really. Just not understanding ones own emotions. Ts spoilers if you havent watched the most recent Sanders Sides episode

Ship: Remy (sleep) x Janus (Deciet)

WC: 1, 505

Remy's head snapped up as the bell above the door chimed loudly, letting in a rather peculiar character. Dressed in black save for bright yellow gloves, their long trench coat swept around their ankles as they turned to make sure the door was shut. Truly curious now, Remy leaned forward eagerly, excitement thankfully hidden by his dark sunglasses.

The glasses did little to hide his reddening cheeks however as the newcomer swept off his hat and turned fully to face the cashier.

Oh. Remy leaned forward casually trying to hide the flood of oh-I-am-most-definitely-gay panic rising up through his chest. Sharp eyes breifly met his before darting back down as they made their ways towards the counter. Thanking every god that could possibly be real that the shop was empty at this time of day, he smiled easily as they came to a stop in front of the counter.

"Morning coffee. What babe will it be?"

The stranger snapped their head up in confusion, giving Remy only a split second to retain that their eyes were very pretty, one a pale brown and the other almost gold before his brain caught up with what his mouth had just uttered. Red cheeks reddening even further he closed his eyes and mentally slapped himself over the head with an industrial bag of coffee grounds.

Opening his eyes once again, he chuckled. "You'll find me dont discriminate here. We got flat white, Irish cream, long black." He cupped his cheek and smirked. "Or maybe you're the shy, straight vanilla kind of guy?"

The stranger, to his credit, was unimpressed, almost making Remy pout if it weren't for the fact he was still trying to scrape his pride up off the ground. "A mocha with five espresso shots please."

Whistling low, he turned to complete the order. "I'm assuming to go?"

"Yes."

"Late night?" He grabbed a cup and fiddled with the machine a bit, turning to grab the pump for the espresso as it began to run.

"In a sense."

Snorting, Remy turned to look again at the stranger. Through his obvious good looks there were eye bags that could rival his room mates', slumped posture and rather ratty shoes completing the picture for him. "I always hated college exams. Theres never enough time to cram."

"We've all bean there."

Pausing in applying the lid to the cup, Remy smirked and turned. "Did you just-?"

Seeming uncomfortable, the stranger shrugged, taking the drink and handing over the money. Offering a quiet thank you they left quickly, coat flying out like a cape behind them.

---------

Janus shoved his hands deeper in his pockets on the way to his favorite coffee shop. He had only been going there for a week now, but the coffee was amazing, and the cashier/coffee maker was...interesting. Janus' cheeks still burned in what he now realized was second hand embarrassment at the way the other had flirted? with him the first day. Patton said he had been flirting so he'd have to trust his friend knew what he was talking about. His stomach gave another uncomfortable flip as the shop came into view, making him grit his teeth in annoyance. Everytime he came here the same thing happened with his intestines, like they were too tight and too loose at the same time, flipping his stomach around in a way that felt like the flu...but better? Regardless it hadnt started until he had begun coming to the little shop and Janus was determined to pinpoint the cause. That was why he kept coming back.

No other reason.

His stomach flipped again as he shoved the door open, grimacing as he made up his mind to buy some kind of pastry with his usual coffee to try to quiet down what he was now going to assume were hunger pangs. This early in the morning the shop was blessedly empty, allowing him and the cashier to have their odd conversations in relative peace.

"Morning babes!"

He glanced up and tried for a smile, letting the odd movement drop after only a couple seconds. Remy smiled and smirked enough for the both of them anyway.

He made his way up to the counter, startling as a to-go cup was pushed his way.

"Regulars get the Remy special. Their usual cup of hot coffee ready before they even come through the door." He winked as he leaned against the counter, hitting Janus with the realization that the man had apparently forgone his sunglasses for the day. Deep brown eyes stared back at him before he broke eye contact, snapping his gaze to the cup in front of him.

"I'd like a muffin with it today as well, if you would."

"Sure. What kind?"

Janus looked up hopefully. "Banana nut?"

Remy bit back a laugh, muttering 'nut' under his breath while retrieving the requested pastry. Rolling his eyes Janus dug out the cash; he was learning Remy was fond of unintentional innuendos, Patton pointing out that that had been what he was insinuating in their first meeting. He tried for a polite smile again as he grabbed his items after paying, stomach going it's odd flip again as the other man smiled back.

Maybe it was the air.

------

Remy perked up as the door chimed, smiling as his favorite regular made his way through the door right before closing time. He had somehow gotten the rather shy man to agree to a date (an outing the other had insisted) taking place after his shift had ended. He seemed tense and Remy was determined to take his mind off whatever it was that kept his shoulders up and head down. He grabbed up his sunglasses as he hopped over the counter, earning a confused smirk for his effort. Smiling easily, he readjusted his bag and whipped out the store key to swing around his finger.

"Ready to go, tall, dark and snarky?"

The man merely ducked his head and shoved his hands further in his pockets, strolling quickly out the door for Remy to follow.

"So I realized we're going on this date-"

"Outing."

"Alright babes. So we're going out and I still don't know what to call you?"

The man stared blankly. "You call me things all the time?"

Sighing in exasperation as the Prompt went completely over the man's head he gestured them forward. "I meant your name hon."

"Oh! My name is Janus."

Tilting his head in surprise, Remy regarded him for a moment. "Janus. I like it. Really suits your aesthetic."

Janus seemed unsure of how to respond, scuffing his toes along the sidewalk rhythmically. "My aesthetic?"

"Yeah. Janus is a Roman god right? I can see it."

Offering up a blank look, the other man pursed his lips in thought. "No one...well usually people say that Janus is...an odd name."

Remy shrugged. "I took some course or other in high school that taught about ancient gods or whatever. People are bitches."

Moving away slightly, Janus nodded. "Undoubtably."

-----

Alexithymia.

Janus watched as everything seemed to click into place for his companion. This was always the tipping point in every relationship, friend or otherwise. Patton had been the only exception thus far that accepted the fact that Janus was a lost cause when it came to emotions.

No, that wasnt fair to himself. There was nothing wrong with him, he knew that. It was only the fact that he couldn't understand the emotions being processed. He knew he had them, he just could never quite pinpoint which ones, at any given time and what the reasons for them were. Sure it made socializing difficult, people often labeling him as awkward or withdrawn in any given situation; when in reality he just was rarely given enough time to try and pinpoint what one emotion was before being put in a situation where a different response was needed. It was honestly exhausting.

He bit his lip as he looked back over to Remy, seeing that same smile he always gave him that made his stomach flip every time. He tried offering one of his awkward smiles, feeling that that was the most appropriate for the situation.

Remy softened as he took off his glasses, turning to face him fully. "You dont have to do that around me, it's okay. Just be yourself, and tell me if and when you get uncomfortable yeah?"

Janus' eyes filled with tears as he twisted his fingers in his jeans. An intense wave of emotions came over him, making him choke slightly as he tried in vain to process everything. He felt Remy take his hands gently and squeeze them, tugging slightly as he unconsciously leaned towards the other.

Just two people sitting on a park bench in the late evening, with about 15 shots of espresso between them holding each other with a confused understanding. Janjs smiled, a very tiny one, but the first genuine one in a long time.

Despite everything, he had Remy. He knew he'd be okay.

This work is also available on AO3!

[jasondoescosplays-blog]

THE VIDEO

My sanders sides peeps know

what is up

That video was so freaking good!!!

Virgil was being himself and the other sides were helping him out instead of telling him to 'not worry about it' (okay maybe they told him something along the lines of dont worry about it but they are improving!)

Patton provided so much cuteness it made my shitty day better honestly that boy could bring about world peace I stfg-

Like Roman was on FLEAK!!! And he was contributing loads to the video, and wasn't 'disney is the best' bias the entire video(also legs!)

Logan, my cool teach, has leaRNED THAT WE All THINK HE IS SUPER COOL AND SAYS IT WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING HIM FIRST OH MY GOD AH-

Seeing Deceit for the first time in a couple of episodes made me happy because I really like sympathetic Deceit. Also, he doesn't seem to terribly mad that Roman took his hat,(I totally freaking ship it) a little annoyed, sure, but not mad.

Then my stinky garbage man, Remus(obviously) in his bedtime clothes like the others; actually watching a disney movie. And while his contributions aren't the best, they are still there(also Thomas is confident enough to be in a video without his shirt on and that makes me happy)

And Thomas communicating so well with the sides, by at least listening to them and contributing to the more serious matter at hand(THAT WAS A QUAINT LITTLE REVEIW OF THINGS THAT WE ALREADY KNEW. NOW CAN OUR DISCORSE RESUME THERE'S PRESSING MATTERS AT HAND) Or at least listening to the main sides. He mainly rolls his eyes at Remus, which is a huge freaking step. And he also admits to himself that we might have been wring with how extreme he got with his friend, Rico as he said.

I just-

Everybody in this video was so great.

As a reward for reading this entire thing, here's a picture of me as Remus for Halloween and my BFF as Coraline.

(In the second one i was putting on my ded lookin make-up while talking and so my caught this beauty)(and y'all, do you SEE how cute my friend is???? Cuz they are so freaking cuuuuuuuute)

@thatsthat24

[anxiously-unsatisfied-world]

It Takes Two to Tango - Ch. 2

Pairing: eventual Prinxiety & Logicality Word Count: 1113 Warnings: mild worrying/anxiety? I think that’s it

A/N: I’m glad everyone’s liking this so far! Yet another chapter without Virgil showing up but don’t worry, he’ll soon appear <3 Hope you all enjoy and see you for the next update on Thursday!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week seems to drag on and fly by at the same time. Through it all, Roman has been practicing his technique and getting tips on how to improve, wanting to be a worthy dance partner for his idol.

When Roman wakes up on the chosen day, he wakes to a ball of nervous excitement in the pit of his stomach. This is it. This is the day that he’s been waiting for. Honestly, without Logan, it never would have been possible and Roman feels intensely grateful for his older brother’s help.

Roman arrives at Logan’s doorstep nearly half an hour early, unable to simply sit and wait for the time to pass. His hand shakes a bit as he knocks twice on the door then uses his key to enter.

“Roman. You’re here early.” Logan comments, looking up from his book. His eyes narrow when he sees the restless energy causing Roman to fidget slightly and he swiftly shuts his book, crooking a finger at Roman.

Roman approaches slowly and Logan has him sit down beside him, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Roman, everything is going to go fine. You will be in full contact with me the entire time and everything should go smoothly. You have nothing to worry about.”

Logan’s expression is so sincere and caring that Roman has no choice but to give a smile (no matter how shaky) in return. “Thanks, Logan. I… I’m just a bit worried. There are so many things that could go wrong…”

“I know.” Logan says, squeezing Roman’s shoulder softly, “But we’ve accounted for a multitude of possibilities. The chances of something going wrong today are infinitesimal.”

Roman snorts at the word usage, remembering back when his brother hadn’t quite known what it meant. Logan rolls his eyes but relaxes at seeing some of the nervous energy fades away.

“Now, if you are ready, we can go,” Logan suggests and Roman takes a deep breath, meeting his brother’s eyes.

“I’m ready,” Roman says, his voice full of conviction. Logan simply nods and gathers a few things before the two of them head to the time travel facility.

As they walk through the halls, Roman is struck by the atmosphere of the place. He had expected something out of a sci-fi film but this… This looks completely normal, like an office or something.

Occasionally, one of Logan’s coworkers will greet them, usually getting a return greeting and a nod from Logan. When they reach a set of doors, Logan pauses to straighten his tie and square his shoulders before walking in, Roman at his heels.

“Hiya, Lo! Today’s the day, isn’t it?” A warm, bubbly voice calls out and Logan’s lips quirk up, causing Roman’s eyes to widen and a grin to slowly appear on his face. Is this?

“Indeed it is,” Logan says. “Is everything ready, Patton?”

It is! Roman raises an eyebrow at his brother, smirking when Logan briefly glares at him. Logan had talked at length about this Patton, enough that Roman feels like he already knows the man!

Patton turns and presents them both with a smile that could rival the sun. “Yup! If you wanna double-check, then go ahead! But I did everything you asked!”

Logan nods, “I do trust you, Patton, but I am going to look over everything. It is imperative that this goes as smoothly as possible.”

Patton nods and gestures for Logan to go ahead before approaching Roman. “Hi! You must be Roman. Logan’s told me so much about you!” Patton greets with a warm smile.

“All good things I hope?” Roman chuckles, “Either way, it is a pleasure to meet you, Patton.” Roman looks over at Logan to make sure he’s not paying attention before leaning in and whispering, “Logan talks a lot about you. He seems rather fond of you.”

Patton’s eyes go wide and he blushes, a soft smile gracing his lips. “Really?! That’s so sweet!” Patton clutches his hands to his chest and Roman grins at the lovestruck look on his face.

“It really is,” Roman says and is about to say something else when Logan strides over to them.

“Everything seems to be in order.” He glances between the two, “Ah. It seems you’ve met. Well, there’ll be time to talk later, but for now, let us continue. Patton, would you take Roman to change into the clothes we’ve prepared for him? I will get his communication device and money.”

“Yes, of course!” Patton says, “Follow me, Ro!” Roman follows Patton a short distance into a room where he is given a set of clothes.

“You can change in there,” Patton says, sitting down to wait for Roman to finish.

Roman utters a quick thanks before going into the room and quickly changing into the European style outfit. Afterward, he looks in the mirror and gives a rather theatrical smile to himself. “I look good!”

Roman then whirls around and leaves the room, grinning at Patton. “Ooh! You look great!” Patton compliments him and Roman smiles, preening a bit at the praise.

“Thank you! Red is my color, isn’t it?” Roman asks, straightening the dark red jacket he’s wearing, thankful that Logan managed to get him something in his favorite color.

“Definitely! Come on, Logan’s probably ready!” Patton says. Roman nods and Patton leads him back to the first room.

“Ah, good.” Logan says, “You look good. You’ll definitely fit right in. Now, here.” Logan presses something resembling a phone into Roman’s hand along with a small bag. “You should have enough to pay for a week’s worth of food and board, should you need it.”

Roman takes the items and puts them into his pockets. “Thank you, Logan.” He says earnestly, unable to say exactly how grateful he is for this opportunity.

However, Logan is able to read him like one of the books he’s so fond of reading. Thus, a smile graces his face and he nods, “You’re welcome. Now, are you ready?”

Roman takes a deep breath, focusing on calming some of his nerves. “I think so.”

Logan gives a single nod and turns to read a nearby screen. “Alright. Do not forget to contact us if anything happens. If the need arises, we will send someone in to help you.”

“I will, Logan,” Roman says.

“Then, go stand over there.” Logan points at an inlet of the wall and Roman walks over, turning to face them. Logan huffs out a breath before hitting start on the machine.

Roman waves at them and Patton waves back, “Good luck, Roman! Have fun!”

Roman laughs and says, “I will. Thank you both!”

Roman disappears from the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist for this fic: @goondis-and-the-plupples, @ccecode, @dead4sevenyears, @the-crazed-band-kid, @zamoradraw, @lunatherumba, @life-dont-just-exist @sanders-sides-rebloger @thesynysterunknown @soul-of-a-vixen​ @smolvessel @grapeofsoda @ncity21 @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjhhhhh @ash-marrie @4evermarvelfan @the-fandoms-are-takin-over @bookworm85blr @statsvitenskap @flutie40 @gatekeeper1010 @gaylotusthatexists @pankiddo @somethingoffandoms @flowersheep @littleladynightshade

General TS Taglist: @anuninspiredpoet, @echomist13, @theresneverenoughfandoms @fiive-second-cookies @sevencrashing, @virgil-is-verge @fandermom @evilmuffin @fairytailtwists

(let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from either of those)

[plantcore-posterboy]

75 reasons we love you

Here ya go, baby. @your-friendly-neighborhood-enby

(Credits to Me for these)

1. You're kind, its something I love about you, even on your darkest days, you can make someone else happy.

2. Your interests. You can go on rants about things, and honestly, it's amazing, because once you're interested in something, you're interested in it.

3. You let me rant to you. You can be having a really bad day, but you'll always listen to me.

4. You're an amazing writer. I've read your work for a long time, and you never cease to amaze me.

5. You're adorable. I love your smile, and no matter how much you disagree, you really are adorable.

6. You may not always know how to respond to something, but you always respond, so I know that you're still there.

7. You are a good singer. Your voice is calming and easy to listen too.

8. No matter what you see about yourself as a flaw, you can always see the good things about people.

9. You put others before yourself no matter what it does to you, you just genuinely care about other people.

10. You've managed to survive, yeah it gets rough sometimes. But guess what? You've made it.

11. Nicknames. You're just really good at using nicknames, which is honestly a skill.

12. Common interests! We have quite a few, which honestly I find amazing.

13. You deal with me no matter what stupid crap I do, and I admire you for that.

14. You're accepting, you've never judged me, and I appreciate that.

15. You always know how to calm me down. A skill I both admire and adore about you.

16. You put effort into everything you do.

17. You are always willing to fight people with love.

18. You mean what you say, as far as I can tell. Honesty is good.

19. You've always been nice, which is why I got along with you so easily in the beginning, there's so much more now.

20. You have the ability to easily make friends. I mean, so many people on here love and adore you, including me.

21. You've always been there for me when I've needed it.

22. Your personality is amazing, you're sweet and loyal and I love it.

23. Your smile. Its adorable and I wish I could see it more.

(Credit to @thelonelycreature for the next ones)

24. SMOL SOFT CHILD!

25. SUPPORTIVE!

(Credits to @ihavenoclueanymore for these ones)

26. They are smart

27. They are themselves and unique (which is a good thing because they aren't fake! Which happens a lot)

28. They are very into musicals

29. They are are very easy to fluster and make blush

30. They have great writing

31. They are super adorable no matter how much they think they aren't

32. They have a very great dream and is good at musicals (and singing)

33. We have a bunch of stuff in common (we will probably find more as we get to know each other better!)

34. They have a cute smile

35. They are very cool person who deserves lots of love

36. They are an amazing arospec and enby who cares for others and isn't mean.

TOP 10 REASONS @nonbinaryroyaltylove LOVES LO!!!

(37) Reason #1: Lo is the most caring person on this planet and will listen to me rant my little heart out about something that they don’t even know about but they will make an effort to understand it anyway.

(38) Reason#2: Lo makes me smile whenever im down and they always know the right thing to say when im angry or sad.

(39) Reason #3: Lo is so so so so so so so so smart, they always come up with little jokes on the spot or things in their stories that i love.

Reason#4: speaking of Lo’s stories, don’t even get me started!!! Weather it’s late at night or early morning or anytime, I love reading their one shots and all their stories. They are so creative with their content and they are so friendly to their followers. (No wonder everyone wants to be their friend)

(40) Reason #5 Lo is really good at listening and when i say really good i mean REALLY GOOD. When I feel really down i know that they will always be there with a virtual hug and some yeeted love in my direction. The best part is, even if your an anon and they don’t know you they will still give you all the love in the world.

(41) Reason #6: you can count on Lo to never tell anyone your secrets and insecurities. Lo knows a lot of things in my life and only one other person i know knows as much about me as they do. If you tell Lo something they will take it to their grave.

(42) Reason #7: they deal with all the sap juice that we all give each other everyday and even through the shitty times they help others and honestly they handle the sap so well and its great.

(43) Reason #8 Lo is really good at just being a friend no matter what you need they will provide it. If you need love they will yeet it at your face and if you ask for space they will respect it, they are very patient always.

(44) Reason #10: lastly is that Lo will make sure you are ok. I was recently in a very dark place and Lo helped take me off the edge I was standing on. Lo will rant to you and make sure you eat and sleep even if it means sacrificing their own. (Which we will all rant back to them that they need)

(45) Reason #11 Lo is the actual fucking imbodyment of a hufflepuff!!!!!!!!! That in its self should be reason enough to love them

(Credits to @lovelylogicality for these)

(46) 1. They inspire me to write, and actually help me feel proud of my work

(47) 2. They make me feel important, like something really special instead of just boring.

(48) 3. Lo makes me feel better about myself (especially my weird eyes)

(49) 4. They’re kind and sweet and always try to make me feel better.

(50) 5. Always there with encouragement

(51) 6. Lo writes amazing little fics and I always love seeing their stunning work on my dashboard

(52) 7. THEYRE JUST AS SAPPY AS US

(Credits to me, again, for these)

53. You always know how to make me smile, whether its intentional or not.

54. Honestly, I smile anytime I see something that reminds me of you.

(Credits to @ihavenoclueanymore , again)

(55) 1. calls everyone a sap even tho we are all just telling truths

(56) 2. knows (with me telling) just what pet names to use to make me heart completely melt and my brain short circuit

(57) 3. very loveable human!

(58) 4. prefers to read the book (best type of human)

(59) 5. is poly! (Us polys need to stand together!)

(60) 6. makes nonhuman noises when flustered (need to hear these)

(61) 7. is very precious baby (in a non weird way)

(62) 8. very kind to everyone!

(63) 9. introvert (we also have this in common and need to stan together!)

(64) 10. favorite side is virgil (best side besides patton)

(65) 11. is legit the only human I've seen use greetings and salutations and it's awesome

(Credits to @lovesupportandcookies for these)

(66) 1. Heccin adorable

(67) 2. Does their best to be nice even in hardship

(68) 3. Incredibly sweet in general (all the sap)

(69) 4. Oh! And very trustworthy!

(Credits, again, to @nonbinaryroyaltylove )

(70) Reason #12: when Lo send out ask requests on their blog they actually do them and answer everything with the upmost importance. Lo puts their people before everything and will take time out of their precious day to care for them. Weather it be answering a simple and silly ask or responding to a more personal problem and he treats them all with importance.

(71) Reason #13: Lo is so accepting, you could tell them anything and no matter how messed up or strange you might think it is, they will embrace it and love you for you, which in my book makes them of the best people I have met.

(72) Reason #14: They know musical theater just like any lord should, you can talk to them about any and all musical theater and on the rare occasion that they dont know what it is they will make an effort to listen to and/or watch it so they talk about it with you.

(73) Reason #15 Lo is the most adorable lord you will ever see on earth, their smile is infectious and whenever they look at you, or if they are online, text they have the ability to make you feel safe and its like they are giving you a huge hug in a blanket of safety and trust. So yeah Lo will instantly make you feel safe and loved whenever they talk to you.

(Credits to @marshmallowmischief for this one)

(74) they're so valid in everything they do

(Credits to me for this last one)

(75) You give the absolute best virtual hugs.

Lo, this is for you. We thought you could use some love, so I asked some people to help and we put this together. Sorry it's a bit of a mess, but it's made with love

Overall credits to:

Me

@thelonelycreature

@marshmallowmischief

@lovesupportandcookies

@ihavenoclueanymore

@nonbinaryroyaltylove

@lovelylogicality

[fan-dumb-trash]

REMILE PART TWOOOOOOOOO

Part One! Part Three! Part Four

*confetti canon* YASSSS FINALLYYYY I HAVE FINISHED THIS!

Sorry for the wait! And also sorry if this isn’t as good as the first one... but I needed to establish some things in order to make Remiles relationship make sense ya know? I’m planning on making at least one, maybe more of these so buckle up sis! Thank you guys for your reblogs and comments and stuff it’s really sweet XD I’m glad to provide some decent Remile content.

Now without further ado, lets get the gay going!

Warnings: Unhealthy Household mention, Kissing, Crying. Violence mention- or lack theorf. Some self deprecation in Remys part. If I missed anything let me know!

Kay so we left off with the boys at the start of their sophomore year oh yeah boi.

I forgot to tell you everyone's ages so HERE WE GO

Patton and Roman are juniors now and Virgil Logan Emile and Remy are the same age. Sloane and Corbin are seniors and Kai and Elliot are freshmen.

Remy has accumulated a girlfriend named Clarimonde whos a badass and we love her she's really cool actually. Her and Roman have spanish together and they are both fluent so they chat to their teachers delight

Once her and Patton saw Elliot getting bullied and she scared the living heck out of those neanderthals without punching and Patton was impressed

Everyone likes her- so Emilie tells himself he has no reason to dislike her because he doesn't have feelings for Remy anymore. No sir.

Now it isn't difficult for Remy and Emile to pass each other in the halls. When Clarimonde chats with Roman, Emile can make small talk Remy without dying inside, but he's slightly more quiet.

Remy still doesn't understand the pang he gets in his chest whenever someone mentions cartoons.

Clarimonde starts to pay attention the Emile because “hey he seems like a sweetheart! how did you meet him Rem?”

Remy tells her that they were close in middle school and left it at that. She stayed suspicious but dropped it after two days.

As I mentioned before, Emilie is a total mom friend even to the seniors and juniors. He notices Logan perk up whent Patton makes a dad joke or laughs. He notices Patton stare a bit too much at Logan's subtle freckles or his electric blue eyes as he rants about biology and chemistry.

He notices Roman and Virgil warm up to each other finally (they didn’t get along much. Romans a bit of an airhead and said some not nice things to Virgil in middle school)

They find out they actually have common interests! They talk about music and writing amd smile because someone finally understands!!! Wow!!!

Emilie promises himself he's going to try to help his friends be happy together. because he feels a bit better when he sees his friends happy in love. And in good mental health (which leads into his counseling career!!! Wohooo!!!)

AND NOW- INTRODUCINGGGGG *drum roll* MR THOMAS SANDERS *confetti cannon* and his assistants Joan and Talyn who are lit college students trying to get degrees in the arts. they need to community service so (plus they love Thomas and the kids like aww their babies)

Thomas is the theater teacher/director of the arts department. Roman took all the theater classes available because he’s an extra boi. so he hung out in Mr Sanders class and soon it became the hangout spot for the gang!

Emile saw Roman and Patton in the school play last year. Most of the cast were seniors and now all the thespians are gone and nobody wants to do the shows and take the classes (minus the loot of kids who need their arts requirement to graduate) and it's a PROBLEM

Remy takes Mr Sanders drama class for the arts requirement in order to graduate! But he has a D… Honestly he thought the class would be easier than ceramics because he could just doze off as Thomas rambled about shakespeare but NOPE they have to do pair scenes and monologues and Remy IS NOT HAVING IT LET ME TELL YAH

He thinks acting is stupid (ironic because his personality at school is mostly to mask his pain so TEA) and that there's no point in trying.

this attitude carries over to a lot of his other classes because it's not like his family can afford sending him off to college anyways and it's not like he's smart or worth teaching anyways right?

And Thomas notices Remy walk home alone and take off his shades and stare at the sky a bit longer than usual. Thomas sees Remy's smile fade as people talk about their parents and siblings and he sees Remy's grades slip.

Thomas pulls Remy says something like “Sup Mr Sanders. Did somebody fail their test because they spent the class period staring at me instead of their answer sheet?” And Thomas would usually laugh at this but he's stern

“I'm going to give it to you straight. You're failing almost all your classes and i've talked to your teachers and they know you have potential but you don't try. I don't understand why, but i'm sure you have your reasons but i just wanted to tell you… You're enough, Remy. Just being you. Just because you dont think youll be perfect or good enough doesn't mean you have to turn you back on the world. There's people who will care if you let them in and-”

Remy begins to cry because nobody has told him that in a year and a half. And Thomas gives him tissues and pats him on the shoulder.

Remy agrees to participate in the after school show for extra credit to raise his grade. The credits will carry over to the monologue and pair scene he did poorly on and count for the history of plays unit test which he bombed.

Remy is grateful, but asks how all those assignments fit in on play if he's just gonna do tec??? Or say a shakespearean monologue and be done.

Thomas smiles and says “Well Remy, we are doing Rent- a musical. And Joan and Talyn handle the tec stuff just fine.”

AND BOOM THEY'RE DOING RENT NOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ACKKKKKKKKK SO THEY AUDITION! THE GANG AND REMY AND CLARIMONDE AND TOBY AND ITS WONDERFUL

Patton convinces Logan to do the show (puppy dog eyes owo) and it's all set. Clarimonde joins because why not. Emilie was hesitant at first- but Dot and Larry told him it would be a good way to break out of his shell because Emilie is a bit awkward around people he doesn’t know well…

Auditions go good! Virgil, Roman, Elliot, and Emilie are the best singers while Clarimonde,Remy, Logan, and Patton are dorky/sassy/and confident actors.

Thomas had them all sing Seasons Of Love and then he just puts them in scenes with each other as characters he wanted to see them as! After the first round he moved people around accordingly. It’s an unorthodox way of doing things but it’s such a smol group it wasn’t a hassle to do.

Remy and Emile weren’t really considered for any of the leads because Thomas wasn’t sure of their acting ability… so just to give them something to do, he had them do dialogue when Angel and Collins first meet! Remy is Angel and Emile is Collins cause why not!

For those of you who don’t know much about Rent, basically what happens in that scene is that Collins gets mugged and beat up and he’s bleeding in an alleyway and then Angel finds him and they talk a bit.

Of course it was awkward at first because why wouldn’t it be… but Remy said “You know Em, this is just a giant case of Deja Vu… remember when I found you in the field after you gots scraped up from climbing up that tree? Your glasses were broken and everythin’. And you wanted to act all tough but you were crying and I didn’t know what to do-“ and Emile laughed because yes, he remembers. They got ice cream after and it was one of the best days of his childhood.

And it gets better from there. And it’s like they get to meet again for the first time- but Emile is the broken one and Remy is lending a hand. They have really good chemistry and the scene is actually really genuine!

They do the scene for Thomas and he’s intrigued! He writes notes with a small smile on his face.

But the spell is broken after that for a while...

but when the cast list is posted there's some issues cause uhm

Mimi is Roman- Rodger is Virgil

Mark is Patton, and Benny is Logan

Joanne is Elliot and Maureen is Clarimonde!

BUT THE TEA IS THE CASTING CHOICE OF EMILIE PLAYING COLLINS AND REMY PLAYING ANGEL!!! Romans a little salty because he wanted to be a cool drag queen who played drums but he got over it.

BUT SWEET REMY DIDN'T GOOGLE THE SYNOPSIS BEFORE HE AUDITIONED! BUT WHEN HE DID HE THE NIGHT AFTER, HE REALIZED HE DIGS ANGEL LIKE HELL YEAH HE’LL DO THAT SHIT IN A HEARTBEAT BUT EMILIE IS HIS BOYFRIEND?????

Same issue for Roman and Virgil because I have to be in love with my crush/ex enemy? Oh nooooooooooo.

The whole situation is wild and I love it.

But yeah that’s how the fake dating and stage kids element come into play if you were here from the VERY VERY beginning when I was bored out of my mind and made some weird prompts for people to choose.

BUT YEAH ROMAN AND EMILE ARE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE.OLD FEELINGS ARE RESURFACING AND THEY ARE TEMPTED TO MARCH UP TO THOMAS AND DEMAND HE EXPLAIN WHY HE DID THIS BUT THEY DON'T AND POOR PATTON HAS TO CALM TWO ANXIOUS BOYS AND VIRGIL IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE WANTED RODGER BUT LIKE NOW SHITS GETTING GAY AND HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HIS CRUSH ON ROMAN IS GONNA START GETTING OBVIOUS OR NOT AND LOGAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO

Patton and Logan start to talk even more to help their bffs Roman and Virgil get their shit together and then Patton and Logan start to get close in the process and it's amazing.

But rehearsal happens and Emile and Remy are really awkward at first. And Emilie wants to slap Remy because weren’t they They don't talk about the abrupt and unexplained ending of their friendship and Emile doesn't explain how Remy broke his heart. But the eyes are the window to the soul and they both know there's words that need to be said that aren't being said…

But communication? In my christian household? Neverrrrrrrrrr

So it continues. And life goes on.

Virgil and Roman start dating because when Virgil was over at Romans house “rehearsing lines”, Roman got a bit too close when he sang “oh won't you light my candle~” and whoops know they're making out

Oh well life happens i guess

But back to Remile. It's about 2 weeks into rehearsal and they're starting blocking of Act 1 and it's going as one expects. Smooth and Rocky and back and forth and SLOW.

Most people are fitting into their roles pretty normally except for two people- you can guess who.

For the life of them, Remy and Emile can't get it together. Remy can dance and sing like nobody's business and he's been practicing in heels and it literally is giving Emilie a heart attack cause HOT DAMN IM GAY AS FUCK BUT I GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER REEEEE

But the second Remy makes eye contact with Emile he drops character. Emile is chill and fun like Collins. His scenes with Patton and Virgil? Gold. The second Angel comes on stage he gets more tense.

And Thomas doesnt say anything because its not the end of the first month but he notes it.

Emile is obviously upset. It’s kinda draining him being dragged around emotionally by Remy and Patton Roman and Dot and Larry are starting to get worried… it’s like the mental state he had in the summer is coming back and he’s closing himself off.

Clarimonde notices these things too because she’s not stupid… she asks Roman about it during Spanish. He says it isn’t his place because he knows Emilie's Side of the story- but not Remy's. and he doesn’t want to say anything he isn’t supposed to.

His answer gives Clarimonde all the clarification she needs because obviously Roman knows something big and it has to be that Emilie had feelings for Remy at some point and Remy cut their friendship and broke his heart.

But she doesn’t know what to do so she keeps her relationship with Remy because it’s not like he likes Emilie back. Right?

But deep down she knows he’s just scared of commitment because he never wants to go to her house and meet her parents. She barely knows anything about Remy's family or hopes and dreams. But what can she do but wait for him to open up? But he never does. And it nags at her.

I realize that I haven’t really talked to much about Remy… So here we go.

It’s complicated. Remy got scared. Of trusting one person so much that it could hurt him. Divorces can jack kids up especially if they go down ugly like it did for Remy's parents. He didn’t really believe in love. He didn’t believe in trust that didn’t come without a price.

But he forgot those worries when he was with Emile years before. He felt loved and cared for and he felt he could be himself.

But over the summer when Emile and Remy stopped hanging out… it’s because things got worse. Remy's mom started to blame the divorce on him. She said her father left because she couldn’t handle Remy and his lil brother Ethan who screamed and cried all the time. She started to go out for long points of time and come home with bloodshot eyes. She would scream at tell Remy that love never lasted and he needed to grow up and stop crying cause his dad never called.

And Remy was beside himself.Because seeing Emile just reminded him of all the stuff he couldn’t have. The carefree normal life he would never have.

So Remy threw up his walls and stopped talking to Emile. He shoved down his guilt and left him alone because Remy felt he didn’t need Emile or his warm light.

Remy wanted to grow up so he wouldn’t feel this pain and yearning for a childhood he’d never receive.

And that’s why he and Emile stopped being friends. That’s why Remy is fake.

Remy can’t pinpoint when it happened… but

as Angel he can be confident but it doesn’t feel like an act. He can dance around with a purpose. And when he sings his duet with Emile for the first time, and they hold hands, he feels a bit like the kid he was in elementary school again.

And he becomes thankful Thomas gave him the chance to do this show because it’s showing off. He’s coming out of his shell. And Emilie notices it and smiles more.

Because Emile feels happy when Remy can talk to him and not look like his walking on crackling ice.

Emile had time to mature and heal while Remy was out of his life but now he feels secure because he doesn’t have to be attached to his romantic feelings and they can just be friends. They do their scenes and it’s great. Remy can hold his hand on stage and dance and Emilie is accomplished because Remy looks so… free. Not holding anything back. Not being fake. He’s being his authentic self through Angel and he finds that beautiful.

Thomas smiles when the duo are onstage and realizes he made the right casting choice.

But one day Remy and Clarimonde walked out hand and hand after practice as Emilie waited for his parents to pick him up. Remy was smiling but then Remy was kissing her and there were hands and hair and Emile felt like he was on fire and ran. Because he can't handle this.

Remy has to pretend to be in love with him and it's going to destroy Emilie because ITS NOT REAL.

Clarimonde opens her eye for a split second and damn. She knows. She sees Emile run.

A part of her feels sad, because she has feelings for Remy, but she feels like she’s in the way of Emile and Remy. So she lets go. She breaks up with him because shes “not feeling the relationship anymore”, but she still wants to be friends. And yeah, Clarimonde hurts- but she smiles through it and knows its for the best. Even if it ain’t fair.

And Emile is calling Patton crying, curled up in a ball, wanting to rip his heart out. He can’t take it anymore and says so over and over. It’s Friday so Dot and Larry drive him over to Patton’s. Roman comes over and brings ice cream and they watch Adventure Time but then Marceline shows up and Emile starts crying because REMY BAGAHAHAHAS sO they switch to avatar.

And they all cuddle and are buried under tons of blankets and it’s great.

Roman offers to punch Remy and Patton whacks him upside the head. It’s funny.

And Emile still feels like crap but at least he knows he has good friends. He isn’t alone this time.

Taglist:

@mmd-ask-italy

@thestrangedino

@dreams-palette

@unring-this-bell

@nerdqueenkat

@iloveeverytjing123

@superwholocked-for-life

@ab-artist

@spaceless-void

@sevencrashing

@i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing

@absolutesandersidestrash

@geronimo-scamander-spd

@romansleftshoulderpad

@prplzorua

@patchworkofstars

If you don’t want to be added- please let me know! If you DO want to be added- go ahead and leave a comment because that’s easiest for me!