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firstofficerwiggles · 4 years ago

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Chapter 8: Desperately Seeking Mandos

Link to Chpt. 7, Link to Masterlist

Pairing: The Mandalorian x female reader

Rating: M/E, 18+ only

Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (F and M receiving), explicit description of sex (still romantic smut though), canonical violence

Word count: ~11K

Author’s Note: This chapter took a bit longer than I originally planned, but my semester has reached its busiest time and it’s harder to carve out as much time as I’d like to write. So, thank you for being patient with me. Also, I would like to send a special thank you to @imthemandalornow for being an excellent source of inspiration -- you’re the best, darling. As always, thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

You sit in the passenger seat of the Razor Crest as you stare out at the blue glow of hyperspace, normally you find it pretty and rather peaceful, but today you’re sitting tense and fraught with worry. Din monitors the scanners regularly and it appears as if you have avoided detection by any Imperial vessels. Still, the feeling of unease stays with you. Din talks to you about some possible planets you could try to avoid detection, but neither of you seem very sure about what your next move should be. You’re distracted from having to decide when the comm dings with an incoming transmission.

“Princess and Mando, are you there? It’s Mistress Eira.” Her image comes in over the holo and she looks distressed.

“We’re here, Eira,” Din replies. You come over to stand close to him so you can see the holo better.

“I’m so glad to hear your voice, Mando, I was so worried for you both, something terrible has happened here,” she tells you in a serious voice. “There were ex-Imperial officers here; they killed Mistress Sigrid.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Eira,” you tell her with a heavy heart, “Was anyone else hurt?”

“No, but, honestly you shouldn’t shed any tears over Sigrid,” Eira sounds angry now, “She had some type of deal with them, apparently she was helping them find you. I’m calling to warn you.” You gasp at this news, you didn’t expect such treachery from Sigrid.

“Eira, do you know who any of the Imperials were?” You feel like you already know what her answer will be.

“Yes, the man that killed Sigrid is a Commander Kerrick Hoven, we have security footage of their interaction and then the shooting,” Eira confirms your worst fear, “I have to tell you, Princess, the man seems obsessed with you, the footage of him is unsettling, he was… talking to you, well, an image of you.”

“I’m sorry, Eira, I had no idea he was looking for me, I haven’t seen him in years and I never would have thought that I was putting anyone in danger,” Ok, technically you did know there were Imps after Din and the baby, but not you too. But who could have predicted that they’d find you on Angel One of all places?

“It isn’t your fault,” she says, “We’ve discovered that Sigrid has been in contact with the Empire for years making many underhanded backdoor deals.” Eira pauses for a moment and then says, “Listen, I’m going to send you the security footage, I think you should see what I mean about this man, you need to know what he’s like.”

“Alright, thank you, Eira, any information we can get about him will be helpful,” you say.

“Do you have any information about their ship?” Din asks Eira.

“Oh yes, I’ll send all that we have to you now,” she replies.

“Eira, thank you for helping us, you’re a true friend,” you tell her before she ends the holo.

A few minutes later, the files she promised come through. Din reviews the information for Kerrick’s light cruiser and confirms that it was the one the scanners detected as you were leaving Angel One. After he’s stored all the pertinent details about the ship, you know it’s time to see the second file.

As the holovid begins to play, you watch as Kerrick goes from an icy calm officer, to an angry bully, and then to a disturbing ex-lover. You clutch Din’s hand as you watch and you cringe in horror, as it continually gets worse. When Kerrick finishes his creepy soliloquy to your image, you feel ill.

“Oh, cyar’ika, come here,” Din stands and pulls you into his arms, “Don’t cry, my love, you’re safe here with me.”

You didn’t even realize there were tears streaming down your cheeks until he says that. You let your arms come around him tightly and you try to even out your breathing. Din rubs your back and murmurs soothing words to you and slowly you feel yourself calm down. With your face still pressed against him, you say,

“I had no idea Kerrick still thought about me, let alone that his feelings for me have become so twisted, ugh and he still calls me his ‘doll’, I always hated that, even when we were a couple… I can’t believe we ever were,” your voice shows your disgust.

“I’ll do everything in my power to keep him from you,” Din pledges to you.

“I know that you will, Din,” you murmur against his chest. You hear a sad little coo and look over to the child who is looking back at you with teary eyes.

“Oh sweetie,” you say, and you go over to him, pick him up, and hold him tight to your chest, “I’ll be alright,” you look back to Din, “We’re all going to be alright,” you promise.

“Maybe you should take him downstairs and try to get some more rest?” Din suggests his voice full of concern, “I’ll reach out to my contacts and work on finding us our next destination.”

You’re feeling exhausted and so you pull Din into a hug with you and the little one, before heading down the ladder and crawling into your bed. You don’t bother to put the child in his hammock and instead let him cuddle up next to you. You rub his back as you watch his tiny face and see as he slowly drifts off to sleep. Eventually your own eyes start to feel heavy and you fall asleep too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frustrated, Din ends another holocall without much to show for it. He’s been at this for almost two hours now and he still has no idea where to go, or what the best course of action will be. He knows he needs to be more patient, he’s made the calls for assistance and now he has to see what comes from them. Still though, the churning in his gut keeps him far from patience and instead brings him doubt and worry. It doesn’t help that he can still hear Kerrick’s disgusting words in his ear, calling you his ‘doll’ and promising to rid you of the ‘vile Mandalorian’. He’d never wanted to shoot someone through a holopad before, but as he watched that holovid his fingers were itching to pull out his blaster. When you first told him about Kerrick, Din had thought about tracking the man down, thinking maybe he’d help you get a little revenge on the man who broke your heart and betrayed you. Later, he realized that was just a silly fantasy to make himself feel important to you, but once Din understood how much you’d come to care for him, he had stopped thinking about your ex-lover altogether.

Din sighs, rolling his neck and stretching the muscles there. He’s wishing he could go down and join you in some sleep for a few hours, when the holo dings.

“Din Djarin, I hope you are well,” he hears as the Armorer’s image glimmers into view, “Word has reached me that you are being pursued once again by Imperial forces.”

“Yes, that is correct, I am seeking shelter for a few days to formulate a plan,” Din replies.

“The Covert has regrouped and joined with another,” the Armorer tells him, “You will join us here and we will assist you in your strategy.”

“I- I do not wish to endanger the Covert, I should not come to you,” Din responds, his tone regretful as he remembers all that the Covert has sacrificed already on his behalf.

“By its very nature the Covert is always in danger, it is a fact that we accept,” she states calmly, “We are gar vode, your brethren, and we welcome you in your time of need. We are always here for you. This is the way.”

“This is the way.” Din responds and he enters the coordinates she gives him into the nav. As he does this, he tells her about you and the latest trouble that has managed to find you both. Din feels comforted by the Armorer’s genuine interest in you as he tells the story, and he greatly appreciates her willingness to help you.

Feeling a sense of relief Din after his conversation with the Armorer ends, he switches on the autopilot and heads downstairs. When he sees you and the child sleeping so soundly, Din feels a sense of contentment wash over him. As he snuggles up next to you in the bed, he knows that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you both safe and that it will be worth it no matter the cost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Din explains that you’re heading to his Covert, you feel reassured at first because you know how formidable your Mandalorian is and you can’t think of safer place to be than surrounded by a whole group of them. Nonetheless, it dawns on you that this is Din’s family that you’ll be meeting and you find yourself wishing that you were getting to meet them under better circumstances. You also start to feel a tad nervous about making a good first impression.

The Covert is currently located on Dol’har Hyde, a planet almost entirely covered in dense forests. When you land in a clearing that is just large enough for the Razor Crest, you wonder if the coordinates were correct because you can’t see any type of settlement or structures of any kind. You follow Din down a narrow forest path listening to the birds singing and enjoying the natural beauty of the place. It’s soothing and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think the planet was uninhabited. The further you go down the path, the thicker the forest becomes and it seems as if you are walking in twilight as the multitude of leaves above you block out more and more of the sun’s rays. Finally, the path appears to end and you see the opening of a cave.

“This is it,” Din says, and you look up to see a small carving of a mythosaur in the stone entrance. You get no more than five steps into the dark cavern when two Mandalorians appear out of nowhere asking you to identify yourselves with blasters raised. Different from Din, their armor is decorated with paint, one in orange and the other in blue. Once they recognize Din, they lower their weapons and greet you.

“Welcome home, Djarin,” the Mando in blue says as he thumps Din’s pauldron in greeting, “Still getting into trouble I see.”

“Vizsla, still a pain in the ass I see,” Din replies curtly.

“I’m afraid the trouble is my fault,” you speak up, not wanting Din to take the blame for your past catching up to you.

“Well hello,” Blue Mando welcomes you with a pleasant tone, “The Armorer mentioned Djarin was bringing someone with him, who knew you’d be so pretty.”

His compliment surprises you, and you stutter out, “O-Oh, thank you.”

Din makes a grunting sound as he places his hand on your lower back and steers you past the two guards, “We’re going to see the Armorer now,” he informs them.

“I’ll take you to see her,” Orange Mando offers.

“Thank you,” Din responds.

“I guess I’ll see you later then, pretty one, you too, Djarin,” the Blue Mando chuckles as you walk deeper into the cave.

As your eyes adjust to the dimmer lighting of the cave’s passageway you can see that there are drawings on the walls, many featuring Mandalorian helmets. They look like they could be children’s sketches given the simplicity and the height of most of them. It makes you smile, knowing that you’ll be somewhere with families, maybe your own little one will be able to make a few friends while you’re here. Eventually, you can hear the sounds of other people and when the passage opens up to a large room in the cave you see a comforting and homey site.

This part of the cavern has a small pool in the middle and it creates a beautiful soft glow as the water reflects back the artificial lights that have been arranged throughout the space. Around the room, there are small groups of people chatting with each other, playing sabacc, helping children with schoolwork, polishing armor, and performing all sorts of small domestic tasks. It makes you smile to yourself. Everyone here wears helmets, including the children, and all of the adults wear armor too. You notice a few helmets turning towards you as you move past the groups and you wonder if you must seem odd to them with your face uncovered.

There is a second passageway on the other side of the room and you follow Orange Mando down this next path. As you walk, you can feel a hot wind run through the tunnel and you hear a metallic clanking in an almost rhythmic pattern. The noise grows louder and soon you reach a warm room where the Armorer is working. You are mesmerized by her striking golden helmet and the graceful but powerful movements she makes as she forges a piece of beskar armor. When she sees Din, the child, and you, she pauses in her work and nods in your direction. Din motions for you to sit on a stone bench and the three of you sit patiently as she finishes her work.

“I see your foundling is doing well,” the Armorer comments, “And this is the caregiver.” She looks over at you and you offer her a smile and a nod. She rests her tools on her workbench and comes over to you. Din stands and you mirror his movement. The Armorer offers you her hand and welcomes you to the Covert.

“Din Djarin tells me that you are a very special woman, it is clear you have been a positive influence in his life.” The Armorer speaks in such a deliberate way that you feel honored to hear such praise from her.

“Thank you, I’ve tried to do my best to help him and we’ve grown very close, but I feel such regret that it’s my fault we’re in trouble now,” you admit to her and you know your face shows the guilt you’re feeling.

“It isn’t your fault,” Din corrects you, “You have no control over Kerrick’s actions.”

“Din is correct,” the Armorer affirms his statement, “You are not responsible for the actions of an evil man who seeks to control you. We will do all that we can to assist you. This is the way.”

“This is the way,” Din repeats.

“Thank you, I am beyond grateful for your help, and for making me welcome with your tribe,” you tell her.

“You are welcome,” she responds, “I must ask now though to speak to Din alone with the other members of our tribe, if you do not mind.”

“Of course.”

You hear footsteps behind you and you see that several other Mandalorians have joined you. Several of them give you a nod in greeting in your direction and a woman with purple armor steps forward.

“I can take you and the child to the place where you’ll be staying while you’re here,” she offers. You turn to follow her, but before you can, Din reaches out to give your hand a squeeze and says, “I’ll find you later, cyar’ika.”

Din watches you leave and then turns back to the Armorer, feeling a little nervous now that he is alone with her and those who remain in their tribe. His own feelings of guilt rise within him as he looks around the room and realizes how few their numbers have become.

In a low voice full of shame and remorse he says, “I am sorry for Nevarro. I can never thank you enough for helping me and the child, but I--”

“Have nothing to apologize for,” Paz interrupts him in a gravelly voice laden with emotion. Din turns his head toward him in surprise.

“We were honored to help you and we would make the same choice again,” a female member of the tribe speaks up.

“It was our duty and our privilege to fight alongside of you in Nevarro,” another tribe member says.

“You are ner vod, an important member of our tribe and we are here for you,” yet another person tells him.

One by one each tribe member speaks up to reassure Din of his place in the tribe and to express that none of them hold him responsible for the attack on the Covert in Nevarro. His eyes fill with tears and he can feel them slowly gliding down his face in response to their acceptance and love for him. He’s felt so disconnected from the tribe since being forced to flee but being with them here now, and hearing their words of support makes him feel like part of a family again. It is so much more than he could have asked for and it means everything to him.

“Th-thank you,” Din chokes out when the last person has spoken, he wants to say more but his emotions are causing a tightness in his throat and it’s all he can get out now.

“Now, let us discuss the threat against your companion,” the Armorer says.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Purple Mando leads you to a small room with modest furnishings where you are able to stow your bag of belongings. She asks if you want to rest, but you tell her that you’d rather spend time with the others if that’s alright.

“I know that little one would love a chance to run around a bit too and maybe play with some other children, if he can,” you suggest.

“That sounds like a nice idea, and you can meet some of my tribe members.” Her voice has a pleasant tone and her friendly demeanor puts you at ease.

When you’re back in the larger cavern that seems to serve as the common room for the Covert, she introduces you to a group of her friends.

“Look at your little foundling, what a cutie he is,” one of the women coos at the kiddo.

“He’s a sweetie,” another one says, “He’s welcome to go play with the other children, here, I’ll introduce him to my two boys.”

“Thank you,” you reply and you put the child down so he can toddle over to the other little children who are playing with blocks. “Be sure to share, buddy,” you call after him.

“Oh, is he in the ‘mine’ phase?” Purple Mando asks you.

“It’s hard to tell really, it’s more that he doesn’t have much time to spend with other children so he’s used to all the toys being his,” you explain.

“Ah, I see, well I’m sure he’ll be just fine,” she says in a reassuring manner.

“So, will you tell me a little about your tribe? I’ve only ever met the one Mandalorian.” You’re really curious to know more about their way of life.

“Sure, we’re happy to tell you anything you want to know.” Her friends make positive sounds and nod their heads in agreement. “But you also have to be sure to tell us all about you and your Mandalorian,” she says with a small chuckle.

You agree with a smile, and the women proceed to tell you about the tribe. They’ve been here in this Covert for quite some time now. On the other side of the cavern system there is a settlement where they can go for various necessities. Unlike Nevarro, there is less threat here so they are able to leave the Covert in small groups. The adults in the tribe have one of four principle jobs. The protectors assist with guarding the Covert and training the others in fighting techniques. The hunters are responsible for bringing in fresh meat from the surrounding forest. The crafters make weapons, vibroblades and other knives in particular, that they sell to help earn income for the tribe. Finally, the caregivers are responsible for the domestic tasks including maintaining a large garden to grow food for the tribe. There are also a few members who have special jobs like the tribe’s two healers, the Armorer, and the beroya, a bounty hunter, like Din.

“Although we hear your beroya is more skilled than ours,” one of the women says, hinting a little at the subject of Din.

“Well, he isn’t one to brag, but he always seems to be successful in catching his quarry, at least as far as I’ve seen,” you explain but you can’t keep a note of pride out of your voice.

“His tribe has only been with us for a few months, but we have heard stories about him,” Purple Mando tells you, “And they were very pleased to hear that you were coming to stay with him for a bit.”

“Really?” This surprises you because you wouldn’t have believe that Din’s tribe would give too much thought to you seeing as they’ve never met you.

“Mmhmm, yes, apparently he’s never been serious about a woman before, so they’re all wondering if he’s finally ready to settle down,” she laughs lightly as she says this and tips her helmet in your direction.

“Oh I- I don’t know about that,” you stumble over your words a bit, feeling flustered at the implication, “He um hasn’t said… I mean, I wouldn’t assume anything… I-”

“Don’t let her tease you,” another woman pipes up, “She’s a hopeless matchmaker.”

“Oh c’mon, what can I say, I just adore love and a riduurok,” Purple Mando giggles.

“What’s a riduurok?” you ask.

“A marriage ceremony,” she tells you, “When two people become each other’s riduur, or spouse.”

“Well, I appreciate learning new words in Mando’a,” you say with a chuckle, “But I don’t think there’s going to be a riduurok any time soon, unless one of you are getting married this week?”

The women laugh with you and you feel a contentment that you haven’t felt in days, it feels like you can let your guard down with them. As much as you enjoy spending time with Din, you’ve missed having friends. The afternoon passes quickly as the women fill you in on the gossip in the tribe and you watch the child playing happily with the other kids.

When Din returns to your side with several members of his tribe, he introduces you to many of them although all without names as per their tradition so you continue to refer to them in your mind by the colors of their armor. Even though some of the colors are repeated, the patterns of the paint vary sufficiently that you can easily tell everyone apart.

One woman with pink armor seems very chatty and interested in you. She asks you all about your work with languages.

“Oh, how did you know about that?” you ask surprised.

“Din told us of course,” she says pleasantly, “He’s very sweet on you and talked at length about your many accomplishments while we were catching up.” As she comments on Din’s affectionate side, she nudges him slightly with her elbow and it’s clear she’s teasing him. It’s cute and it reminds you of the way you used to tease your brother about girls.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” you whisper conspiratorially to her, “I’m sweet on him too.” You hear Din let out a chuckle at that and he rests his hand on your knee. He’s relaxed here in a way you’ve not seen before and it’s nice.

“Oh, but yes, languages have always intrigued me, I love figuring out how they work and learning about new ones,” you explain, “I’ve even learned several words in Mando’a today.”

“Which ones?” Pink is curious to know.

“Well, beroya, talking about Din, of course,” you say with a smile, “And then a few related to families, ad’ika, aliit, and buir, oh and then riduur and riduurok too.” You’re just happy you remembered all the new words.

“Hmm, riduur and riduurok, talking more about Din, I suppose?” she giggles.

“Oh! No! I- I didn’t mean in reference to him, it- it just came up…” you trail off embarrassed to have implied such a thing. You’re thankful that Din is deep in conversation with one of the other men and doesn’t appear to have heard that.

“Don’t worry, I’m only playing,” Pink reassures you, “I’m just so happy with my own riduur. It’s only been eight months and I’m already expecting.” She tells you this excitedly and places a hand on her lower abdomen tenderly where you can see a small baby bump.

“Congratulations!” you beam at her with delight, “That’s so exciting.” You ponder her news for a moment and then ask, “What’s it like? Being pregnant, I mean? I’ve always been curious.”

“Well, at first I just felt really tired and I could throw up at a moment’s notice,” she explains, “But now, I’m further along and I just feel really happy and excited. Plus my riduur is just so proud and happy too.” She points to a man in black armor. Then she leans in closer to you and drops her voice low as she whispers, “And honestly, the sex has never been better. You’d think he was trying to get me pregnant twice.”

You laugh merrily along with her, not realizing that you’re drawing Din’s attention back to you when you pipe up to say, “I’ve always fantasized about being pregnant, it seems like such a special time, knowing that a new life is growing within you.” Your face takes on a dreamy, wistful look as you say this to her. But then thinking about your reality, you say, “I guess it’s just a far-off wish, but it’s fun to dream about it.”

Din’s helmet snaps to look directly at you when you say this, and, as it turns out, so do several other curious helmets. Something deep inside Din’s chest pulses with a desire to make your wish come true. Suddenly he can see what you would look like round and swollen with his child, the beautiful glow you would have, the tender way you would look at him when he’d caress your belly, and so much more. He wants to say something, anything to you, but he can’t think of the right words, especially not in front of so many people. Happy giggles from you and your new friend distract him from these thoughts.

Pink giggles at your statement and then leans in to stage whisper, “You should be careful saying that around a bunch of Mandalorians, one of them might take you up on it and put a baby in you tonight.”

Her statement is rather blunt, but it just makes you laugh along with her. After the stress you’ve been under all day, you’re enjoying making a new friend and just giggling along with her. As nervous as you were about meeting Din’s tribe, you are so thankful to be here now.

“So Djarin, your woman wants a baby,” Paz ribs Din, “You know if you’re not up to the task, I’d be more than happy to oblige her.”

“Shut up, di’kut,” Din mutters at him.

“Vizsla has a point; she is a beauty, I’m surprised you’re not trying harder,” another guy sitting next to him gets in on the teasing.

“Not you too,” Din replies and gives the guy a shove.

“Maybe we should introduce ourselves, get to know her,” Paz says cheekily, then walks over closer to where you’re seated. “Hey, mesh’la, how are you doing this evening?” he nods his helmet in your direction.

“I’m pretty sure he means you,” Pink snickers.

Not wanting to be impolite, you smile kindly as you answer, “I’m having a nice time; everyone has been so welcoming.”

“That’s good; we all want you to feel welcome.” He props his knee up on a rock formation and then leans his arm down on it so he can be closer to where you are. “Maybe later you’d like a nice tour of the caverns? I know some really nice spots.”

Din stands up at this and positions himself between you and Blue Mando, “You want to ask her that again, Vizsla?”

“I dunno, maybe she’d rather see some Mandalorian sparring? Let her see how a real man fights,” Paz jeers at Din.

“Why not? I’m sure she’d enjoy watching me kick your ass.” Din taunts back.

“Whoa, guys, there’s no need for this,” you try to interrupt, but the air is thick with tension and testosterone. This seems to be an older dispute, and you’re just a convenient spark to reignite the flames of the argument. You’re worried that they might actually start fighting when the child comes to your rescue.

The little guy toddles over carrying a big piece of paper in his claws. He wants to show Din and you a picture that he’s drawn.

“Hi, buddy!” You purposely step between Din and Blue Mando to reach down and pick him up. “What do you have here?”

It’s a drawing of a stick figure family with flowers and what looks to be frogs surrounding them. One of the figures has a helmet-shaped head, another has hair that looks a lot like yours, and the third little figure has big green ears, so it’s clear that he’s drawn his own little family of Din, you, and himself.

“This is so good, buddy,” Din tells him and then he leans over to pat the kid on the head.

“You did so great, kiddo!” You say enthusiastically, feeling a bit relieved too. You lean in and kiss the child on the forehead, and then whisper, “Good job calming down your papa too.” He coos at you in his happy way and you could swear he understands everything you say to him.

Just then, a soft gonging sound rings out across the cave. You watch as the other children scramble back towards their parents and little groups begin to funnel out of the room.

“What’s happening?” you ask Pink.

“It’s time for the evening meal. The food is prepared collectively, and each family goes to collect their portion before heading to their private quarters to eat. Follow me and we’ll get you three all set up.”

You follow her and the rest of the Mandalorians towards another large room with a buffet of food. It all smells delicious and you didn’t realize how hungry you’d become. The child starts wiggling in anticipation when he sees the feast before him. He starts making little whiny sounds and grabby hands towards the dishes.

“It’s ok, sweetie,” you tell him, “We’ll get our food very soon, I promise.”

Din moves forward to begin collecting your dinner and he quickly scoops up a bun that had started to mysteriously float upward and hands it to the child so he won’t get too fussy. “Don’t get too impatient, kiddo,” he says gently reproaching the child.

You retreat to your appointed room with your meal and once you make sure the child can’t peek over at Din, you’re able to enjoy the food. For a while, you simply eat in a comfortable silence. There’s been so much going on today, it’s nice to be here where it’s more tranquil and you have a moment to yourselves that doesn’t feel as stressful as early in the day.

“I’ve really enjoyed meeting everyone here, they’re so caring and nice,” you tell Din, “Pink and Purple did a great job of introducing me to lots of people and teaching me about the Covert.”

“Pink and Purple?” He asks, confused.

“Oh, well, I don’t know anyone’s names so I’ve just been referring to them by the color of their armor in my head, Pink, Purple, Orange, Blue, you know?”

Din laughs at this and says, “You’re so adorable, cyar’ika.”

“Thanks, darling,” you say laughing a little with him, it is rather funny, “Seriously, I’ve felt so safe and at home here, even though it’s only been a few hours.”

“It makes me happy to hear you say that, cyar’ika,” he responds, “I hope you don’t mind but I told my tribe a lot about you, I wanted them to know how hard you’ve worked to take care of the child and keep him safe.”

You feel a fluttery sensation in your chest at his words, “I’m honored that you wanted to tell them about me.”

“Of course I wanted to,” Din says, “You’re very important to me.”

“You’re important to me too, Din,” you admit softly, trying not to get too choked up as you share your feelings with him. You hear him come closer to you and then he’s placing his arms around you, hugging you to his chest. His helmet is still off and you can feel him nuzzle his face into your neck and hair.

You sit like that for a while, just enjoying the closeness; you’re holding the child in your arms and Din is holding you in his. After a bit, you start to rock the child a little and hum a little song to him. He’s had a long day after running around with the other children and now that his belly is full, you can see he’s getting drowsy. As his big eyes start to blink longer and longer, you get up to put him in his little pod for the night. When you close it, you can feel Din has followed you and is standing right behind you.

“I have something for you,” he says, his voice a little gruff, but modulated so you know he’s wearing the helmet again. You turn and face him and you see he’s holding out a small leather pouch for you to take.

You smile broadly at him, “A gift for me?”

“Yes,” he confirms.

You untie the strings of the pouch and reach inside to pull out a necklace with a heart pendant made of beskar. It glimmers in the light and you can see there is a mythosaur skull imprinted on the heart. You hold it up and smile, touched by the gesture.

“Oh, it’s beautiful, Din,” you breathe out in delight, “Thank you so much. Will you help me put it on?”

You hand him the necklace and then turn away so he can clasp it at the nape of your neck. He tries to do it first with his gloves on, but then you hear him mutter, “Kriffing gloves,” followed by some shuffling before you feel his bare fingers against your skin as he finally secures the clasp for you.

“How does it look?” You ask him.

“Beautiful, just like you,” he says, before adding, “It’s made from a piece of my armor.”

“It is?” you gasp a little, “So it’s like I’m wearing a little piece of you?”

“Mmhmm,” he nods.

“Then I love it even more,” you tell him truthfully. “If I close my eyes, can I thank you with a kiss?”

“Absolutely,” Din says. You let your eyes flutter closed and then you feel his lips on yours, kissing you softly and slowly. It’s so sweet and romantic, you feel like you want to swoon. His tongue comes out to brush lightly against your bottom lip and you open your mouth letting him deepen the kiss. You pull him closer to you, running your hand up into his hair as you tug lightly and shift against him to position yourself to an even better angle. This rouses something in Din and he kisses you more passionately as his hands run down your back to your hips before pulling you flush to his body. After a bit he breaks away from your lips, only so he can trail kisses down your neck and throat, traveling further down until he kisses your chest right above the pendant.

“I’m glad you love the necklace,” Din says and you can feel his breath on your chest as his fingers lightly play with the pendant, “It… it means a lot to me, giving this to you means I feel attached to you… it means that you have my heart.”

“Oh, Din,” your voice fills with emotion, “You have my heart too.”

“Then I don’t need anything else in the galaxy, cyar’ika.” After those sweet words, Din moves back up to give you another scorching kiss.

When he pulls away this time, he rests his forehead on yours and asks, “Did you think to grab the sleep mask before we left?”

You giggle a little at that and say, “Yes, I did. It’s in the outside pouch of my bag.”

He kisses you again, “Can I get it?”

“Yes, but, do you think it will be ok with the little one right in the room with us? I mean I know he’s in his pod…” you trail off, really wanting things to continue but a little torn given the sleeping accommodations tonight.

“His pod is soundproofed, but I’m sure we can be quieter if we try,” Din replies, “But if you’re not comfortable with that, we can just sleep.”

“Well, if you think we can be quieter,” you reply honestly, “I’d rather keep going.”

“Me too,” Din says and in almost an instant, he’s back by your side slipping the mask over your eyes and kissing you soundly again.

“Cyar’ika, can I undress you?” he asks.

“Yes, please,” you respond. Gently, Din removes each piece of your clothing. He is unhurried as he reveals more of you to him, almost as if you’re a present and he’s savoring the unwrapping. When he reveals a patch of skin, he pauses to kiss you there, sometimes letting his hot tongue slip out and taste you. Each time he does it, you melt a little more into his touch. When you’re completely naked, he guides you to the bed so you can lie back. He kisses your lips one more time before telling you, “Let me remove my clothing now, I’ll be just a bit.”

You wait in anticipation, and when you hear him moving closer to the bed again, you’re surprised when you feel him kissing your toes.

“Din!” you yelp in surprise.

“Shh, cyar’ika,” he murmurs, “We’re supposed to be quieter.”

“You surprised me,” you explain, but in a softer voice this time.

You feel his lips again on your feet as he starts to kiss his way to your ankle and then up your calf. He’s gradually parting your legs as he works his way up higher and higher. You can guess his destination as he places a kiss high up on your inner thigh, but then you’re surprised again when he pulls away. When you feel him kissing your other foot, you realize he’s repeating the whole process on the other leg this time. He’s taking his time kissing and tasting your skin, and it feels so good that it’s turning you on more than you can believe. This time when Din gets to your inner thigh, you’re trembling in anticipation. As he lingers, you can’t take it anymore and you start to beg him.

“Din, please,” you whine out so softly it’s almost a whimper.

“Do you want more, cyar’ika?” he says against your skin and he lets his tongue caress the very top of your thigh. It’s so good, but it’s still too far away.

“Yes, please, higher.” This time it is a whimper and you don’t even care just so long as it gets him to finally kiss and lick where you need him most.

“Well, when you ask so nicely…” Din finally brings his tongue to your pussy and licks a path from the bottom all the way up to the very top where he places a kiss directly on your clit.

You let out a soft mewling sound and he says, “Was that better?”

“Please, more,” you manage to get out in a breathy voice.

“Anything for you, cyar’ika,” Din says before licking you again in the same deliberate manner. He keeps this up, licking in long strokes but very slowly, driving you completely crazy with desire. You start to try to grind your hips against his tongue but his hands come up to hold you still.

“You’re so eager,” he chuckles, “But be patient, my love; I’ll make it good for you.” With that comment, he pushes his tongue inside you as his fingers come up to draw light circles around your clit. It feels incredible and you let out a shaky moan as he finally starts to give you more. His tongue and his lips start to explore you in earnest, tasting and sucking on your most sensitive parts, turning you into a moaning mess. It an attempt to be quieter, you hold your hand up to your mouth to muffle the sounds because you just can’t stop making them.

“Mmm, that’s a sound I like to hear,” Din says between licks, “Reminds me of when you were first on the ship with me, late at night, I’d hear you trying to be quiet as you touched yourself.”

“You heard that?” you manage to gasp out, you’d be a little embarrassed but considering where his head is now, you don’t care.

“Yes, and I lived for it,” he tells you before diving back in and picking up his pace. You keen up into his mouth as he sucks hard on your clit, like it’s the last thing he’ll ever taste, and you feel your thighs starting to quake. When he pushes two fingers deep inside you, you can feel yourself starting to tighten around them. Your pleasure builds and just when it seems like you can’t take anymore, you feel yourself coming apart all over his face and hand.

You’re still panting when he makes his way up your body and then pulls you into another passionate kiss. His enthusiasm for you is humbling, but truthfully, you feel the same way, like you can never get enough of him. You break the kiss to move down his body now; you place hot, open-mouthed kisses all down his torso. You stop at both of his nipples to tease them with your tongue and nip at them lightly. Now it’s his turn to moan as you let your hands and mouth guide you lower and lower.

“Where are you g-going, cyar’ika?” Din grounds out, his voice stuttering as your tongue delves into his navel.

“Mmmm, can’t you guess, my love?” And with that, you let your mouth envelope the head of his cock and swirl your tongue all around it. Din lets out a loud groan that is almost a whine and you smile to yourself.

“Now who needs to be quiet?” you tease before returning to let your tongue caress his shaft all over with long, wet licks.

“Aaaahhh, just feels so fucking good,” Din breathes out, his voice low.

“I’m going to make you feel amazing,” you promise, and you return to the head, rubbing your tongue across the sensitive spot just underneath before sucking him into your mouth. You go about halfway down this time before pulling off him again. You return to taunting him with licks, this time running your tongue over his balls before you resume sucking him. You repeat this teasing process, each time sucking him deeper into your mouth until you start to hum to open your throat as you begin to reach his base. When you finally take all of him, he’s practically shuddering at the sensation. You take pity on him and instead of continuing to tease, you hollow your cheeks and begin to glide up and down, showing him how much you want to please him, wanting to give him the same intense pleasure he brought you a few moments ago. You can hear him doing his best to muffle his moans as he shakes and writhes underneath you. You can tell he’s trying not to thrust into your mouth, but he can’t help bucking his hips a little and when he does, it causes your throat to constrict around him increasing his enjoyment. You can tell he’s starting to get very close, but before you can get him there, he’s pushing you away.

“No, no, wait, I… I don’t want to yet…” Din gasps.

“Are you sure? I wanted you to finish in my mouth,” you explain, still eager to resume.

Din groans a little, but moves to haul you back up against him, “If I do that right now, I don’t think I’ll be able to make love to you anymore tonight, and I want that more.”

“Oh, Din,” your voice catches a little, “I do want you to keep making love to me, but sometime, I want you to let me finish you with my mouth.”

“Yes, sometime,” he kisses you to seal the promise. Din rolls you onto your side so that your back is flush against his chest, “I want to take you like this, cyar’ika,” he says. His hands are already maneuvering your legs so he can slide himself between them, and then you feel his steely erection rubbing deliciously between your folds.

“Yes, Din… aaah, like this is perfect.” Your breath hitches in your chest as he positions himself to enter you.

“Tell me,” he says.

You reach back to cradle his head with your hand and bring him closer to you, “Take me like this, Din, I want you… I need you.”

With that, he thrusts into you in one swift motion causing all the breath in your body to push out in a gasp. As he moves within you, he winds his arm around you tight holding you close against his chest. It’s like there’s no space between you at all. His mouth attaches itself to your neck where he’s biting and sucking a new mark into your skin. You can feel him everywhere and it’s overwhelming in the best way. It doesn’t take long for you to feel the stirring of your climax again and you start to struggle to stay quiet. In this position, every thrust hits on your most pleasurable spot deep inside you and it’s taking all that you have not to scream out Din’s name. You know he must be getting closer to his peak too, as he’s also starting to groan and grunt more.

“Are you close, cyar’ika?” Din asks you desperately and he drops his hand to your clit to rub fast circles there. All you can get out is a whimper and a shaky breath, as you start to feel the waves of your orgasm lapping at you. Din doubles his efforts and starts to beg you, “Please, cyar’ika, please… I’m so close… want you to come first… need you to… oooh, please.”

Hearing him plead with you like that is all you need to send you over the edge and almost as soon as your inner muscles begin to flutter around him, Din is following right along with you. He holds you as tight as he possibly can as he pumps himself into you and bites down on your shoulder to keep himself from crying out. You’re so stunned by the sensation you feel like you might black out from the pleasure. You’re shuddering from little aftershocks of bliss when Din starts to speak to you again but he’s speaking in Mando’a and you can’t fully understand what he’s saying.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum, ner cyar’ika,” he says reverently and turns you towards him so he can kiss you fully.

When he breaks the kiss, he speaks again, only this time in Basic, “I love you, my sweetheart.”

Your heart skips a beat and then you tell him, “I love you too, Din.” His lips find yours again in the sweetest, most tender kiss.

When you break apart the next time, you ask him, “Will you say it in Mando’a again?” He does and you carefully repeat it back to him. You barely get the last syllable out and he’s kissing you again, as if he can never kiss you enough. You kiss him back fervently trying to pour all of your love into it, wanting him to understand just how much you love him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next two days pass pleasantly in the Covert. Din feels pleased that you fit in so well with everyone and it warms his heart to see how eager you are to learn more about his culture. It fills him with a new hope for the future, and he lets himself daydream about being able to return to the tribe permanently with you. Still though, Din can’t ignore the danger that you’re in and each hour that passes makes him anxious that the Imps could be headed here right now. In discussing the predicament with his tribe, Din was able to come up with a plan to keep you on the move and, hopefully, to find a stronger Covert that could help you defeat Kerrick. While his tribe and the others in this new Covert offered up their fighters, Din refused to accept based on their already reduced numbers. Now each moment that passes, his unease at being caught builds. It’s on this third evening, that he brings up his worries with you.

“I think we should leave tomorrow,” Din suggests, and you can hear the concern in his voice.

“You don’t think we’re safe here?” You’d been feeling so much better since arriving, that you’d hoped you’d be able to stay longer.

“It isn’t that-- I… I don’t think we’re safe anywhere, really,” he pauses and looks down at the ground when he says, “I’m worried that if we stay any longer, I’m endangering the Covert again, like Nevarro.”

You know all about Nevarro now as the other night the Armorer and the rest of Din’s tribe spoke about it, wanting both you and the other Mandalorians to understand more about that part of their history, and as a way of honoring those who lost their lives during the battle. Din was very quiet though as the story was being told, opting to simply grip your hand tightly and listen. You could tell that he still felt responsible for the loss of the Nevarro Covert, despite his tribe’s endeavors to show everyone that only the Imperial forces were to blame.

“I understand,” you reassure Din, “We can leave tonight if you think we should, it won’t take long to get our things together.”

“Can we? I think it would be the best option.” You can hear a note of relief in his voice as you agree with him and let him know that you’ll start packing right away.

“I just need to speak to the Armorer again,” Din tells you, “I shouldn’t be too long.”

When he finds the Armorer at her forge, she appears to have been expecting him. He doesn’t know how she does it, but it’s almost as if she can anticipate his thoughts, it’s always been that way with her. He wonders for a moment if she might share some of the child’s powers.

“Din Djarin, I have the pieces you have requested,” she speaks in her carefully measured voice.

“Thank you, I appreciate that you’ve worked to complete them so quickly for me,” he responds and watches as she moves to collect two small leather pouches. When he opens the first, he pulls out another beskar pendant; this time it is a mudhorn, the exact match to the one on his pauldron. The second pouch contains three rings, one is a ring of yours that Din swiped from your jewelry collection, and the other two are matching bands of beskar, one in the same size as your ring and the other sized to fit his own finger.

“I see that she wears the heart pendant with joy,” the Armorer tells him, and then asks, “When will you ask her to join your clan?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Din admits a bit bashfully, “But I want to be prepared to ask her when the time is right.”

“You have the blessing of the tribe, if you should want it,” she declares to him, “Your woman has mandokarla and we will always welcome her.”

“Thank you, that means so much to me,” Din replies gratefully.

“You have decided to leave us,” the Armorer states, again already seeming to know his thoughts before he shares them.

“Yes, I think it is for the best.” His voice can’t contain its concern, but he knows she understands as she nods to him.

“You must do what is best for your clan. This is the way,” she confirms.

“This is the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later and you’re back in hyperspace. You’ve been following the plan that Din’s tribe helped him design, stopping at some remote outposts in hopes of finding other Mandalorians. So far, the information the Covert shared with Din has been reliable and you both feel confident in your efforts. A sudden pinging on the dash draws Din’s attention and he sees that a transmission is coming in.

“Brother, we heard you are seeking assistance,” a strong voice speaks out into the cockpit, but no holo accompanies it.

“That depends on who’s offering,” Din responds carefully.

“Our Covert has heard that you need warriors to battle against some Imps,” the voice says, “We are willing to help you in that endeavor.”

“How did you come to hear that?” Din questions the voice.

“We are in communication with many other Coverts, and heard of your needs through our contacts,” the voice explains.

Din stays quiet as he thinks; the caller’s explanation seems logical but trusting a disembodied voice also seems a bit naïve. He continues to hesitate in his response when the voice speaks again.

“We also have information about where you can find the Jedi.”

“What are your coordinates?” Din asks, his mind made up. If they know about the Imperials and the Jedi, then they must have spoken to his Covert.

“We’re transmitting them now,” the voice informs him.

“Thank you, for being willing to help us,” Din says graciously.

“Ibic mando’kar,” the voice states.

“This is the way,” Din replies before ending the call.

As soon as the transmission is cut off, you speak up, “Do you think they’re the Mandalorians we’ve been searching for?”

“They must be, I know they’re an older sect and it makes sense that they’d say ‘Ibic mando’kar’ for ‘This is the way’,” he explains to you, “I think they can help us.”

You’re about to ask him more about these Mandalorians and what he knows, but you’re stopped by the child who has started fussing and crying. You go over to pick him up, but he’s worked himself up into a real tantrum, and no matter how much you try to soothe him, he won’t calm down.

“Are you hungry already, buddy?” You pull out some snacks from your pocket for him, but he shoves them away and cries harder. You know Din needs to focus on piloting the ship to the new coordinates so you descend to the hull with the poor little guy. You try rocking him, singing to him, even a warm bath, but nothing seems to help. He doesn’t seem to be in any visible discomfort so you simply sit and hold him hoping that ultimately your presence will show him that everything is ok. Eventually, he’s exhausted himself and falls asleep. You clean the tears off his little face, and although it’s finally quiet on the ship, you can’t shake a feeling of unease after how upset the child has been. However, you’re exhausted too after trying to care for him and you find yourself curling up on your bed your own eyes closing shortly afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You reach the coordinates provided to you by the Covert on a remote planet whose name you don’t know. The scenery does nothing to lift your mood, as the place appears to be an old industrial center and now looks run-down and abandoned. Although, given what you know about the need for the Mandalorian Coverts to remain secretive, you suppose that makes sense. You follow Din off the Crest with the child’s pod floating right beside you. As you walk to the designated meeting point, a large warehouse building, the child begins to whine again. You see the familiar sight of a mythosaur skull painted above the doorway to the warehouse and you breathe a sigh of relief, that this must be the correct place. You enter the building, but everything is dark and dusty inside and it doesn’t look like anyone is around. Thinking back to Din’s Covert, you expect that some guards will probably appear like before. When you see a helmeted figure in the shadows, you think you must be right, that is until the person turns to reveal the stark white helmet and armor of a storm trooper.

“You found us!” An eerily cheery voice trills out, making your blood run cold. It’s Kerrick.

Din instantly moves to shield you behind him, but you know it’s in vain, as now you can see an entire squadron of troopers moving out of the shadows to surround you. Even with Din’s impeccable skills as a gunslinger, there’s no way you could take on this many troopers, you are hopelessly outgunned.

“Come now, my little doll, don’t be shy,” Kerrick’s voice is almost sing-songy in his joy at trapping you, “I’ve missed you so very much, baby doll.”

Your heart is lurching in your chest and you feel sick to your stomach. You’re running through all the possible scenarios in your head, but there’s only one that you can think of which will keep Din and the child from being hurt.

“I’ve missed you too, Kerrick,” you call out, stepping out from behind Din.

Din’s hand reaches out to pull you back, but you gently shake your head and pull away. Before you do, you try to look into his visor with all the love you can and silently try to tell him that everything you’re about to say is a lie, but you have no idea if he can understand that.

“My sweet baby doll, come here and give your man a kiss,” Kerrick leers at you with a wide grin.

You raise your hands up as you walk slowly towards him, and you make your voice high pitched and girly, the way he used to like when you were in bed together, as you say, “Kerrick, all these guns are scaring me, can’t you have them put the blasters away?”

“Oh, my little doll, those are for your protection,” Kerrick explains condescendingly.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I can come any closer, I’m too scared,” you tell him.

“Alright, my doll, for you,” and he motions for the troopers to lower their blasters.

You feel a tiny sense of victory as you can tell you still have some power over Kerrick even with how twisted and vile he’s become. You move closer to him and when you’re within arm’s reach, he becomes impatient and he reaches out to grab you. Din’s instincts kick in and he draws his blaster without thinking and aims directly for Kerrick.

“Uh, uh, uh, Mandalorian, she just said she’s scared of blasters,” Kerrick admonishes, “You don’t want to scare my doll any more than you already have, do you?”

Oh no, you need to salvage this and quickly, “It’s not like that, Kerrick, he’s been trying to help me find you,” you lie, “I’ve been so lonely and sad without you, and he’s been protecting me until I could get back to you.”

“Is that true?” Kerrick asks, skeptical, “From our visit to Angel One, I was under the impression that you’ve been acting like a little whore for him.”

You want to die as you say these next words, but you know you need to convince Kerrick to let Din and the child go, “I was just using him, so he’d keep helping me, but it was just so I could find you again, Kerrick, after all, I’m still your doll.” Your hand comes up to your chest to sit over Din’s heart pendant hidden under your tunic and you hate yourself for having to put Din through this.

Din’s blood is boiling and he feels heartsick as he hears you lie to Kerrick. He knows you must be lying in an attempt to save him and the child. But he can’t ignore how much your words hurt, even if they’re not true. Hearing you call yourself “doll” though and seeing you grip your pendant, he tells himself that you don’t mean what you’re saying, that you do really love him, and that you’re prepared to sacrifice yourself to save him. He’s so angry with himself for leading you into this trap and he’s desperate to find another solution, but like you, he’s out of options. He has to do all he can right now to reign in his desire to start shooting.

Kerrick’s arms are wrapping tighter around your waist, and you know you’re going to have to muster up every acting skill you have if you’re going to convince him of your falsehood. You bring a hand up to caress his face, and he nuzzles into your touch. You thought he was handsome once, but his years with the Empire have changed him and his smug, pretty boy face holds no attraction for you now. You push these thoughts deep down though, and close your eyes as you bring him closer to you for a kiss. It takes everything you have not to shove him away in disgust. As Kerrick forces his tongue into your mouth, you tell yourself to be calm and then you pretend you’re kissing Din. It’s a struggle, but you manage to fool Kerrick enough that when he pulls away he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“Let’s go, doll,” he says and he starts to tug you away.

“Wait, Kerrick, will you do something for me, please?” You do your best to make yourself look as sweet and innocent as you can and you use the girly voice again.

“What can I do for you, baby doll?” He looks at you like you’re a child asking for a treat.

“Will you let the Mandalorian go back to his ship? He really did help me find you, and if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have this wonderful reunion.” You pray Kerrick won’t see through your ploy.

“You always were so softhearted,” Kerrick says as he pats you on the ass.

“Please, for me? Please, Kerrick,” It’s soul crushing to have to beg him like this, but if it can help Din even a little you have to do it.

“Oh alright, I don’t want you to be sad or distracted all night. I have much better plans for us,” Kerrick tells you suggestively. You do your best not to throw up right then, but plan to save it as an escape for later.

“You six, take the Mandalorian back to his ship,” Kerrick motions to a group of troopers. Ok, six is still kind of a lot, but if feels like a number Din can probably handle. You don’t believe for a second that Kerrick is actually going to let Din go without a fight, but at least now he’s not facing an entire squadron.

“Can I say goodbye?” You know you’re pushing it, so you add, “To the child.”

“Fine, but make it quick,” Kerrick pats you on the ass again and you run back over to Din and the child. You scoop the baby up in your arms, but you look directly at Din and mouth, “I love you, I’m sorry.” He inclines his head in the slightest of nods and you know he understands. It doesn’t stop your heart from breaking in two though and you know tears are threatening to spill from your eyes.

“That’s enough!” Kerrick’s sharp voice calls out and you place the baby back in his pod before fixing a fake smile on your face and turning back to Kerrick. It’s shaky at best and you know you can’t hide your teary eyes so you throw yourself back into Kerrick’s arms hoping that a seemingly enthusiastic hug will mask your true feelings.

He chuckles, pats your head, and says, “Don’t worry, doll, I’ve got you now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The troopers lead Din out of the warehouse and each step feels painful, as he knows it’s taking him further away from you. All he wants to do is run back into that warehouse and fight for you, but he knows a deathtrap when he sees one. He doesn’t believe for one second that the troopers are going to let him leave, but he’s pretty sure he can take them out and get to the ship fast enough to get away. If he can make the jump to hyperspace before Kerrick’s cruiser can realize what’s happening he should be able to escape with his life.

“Be sure to get the asset,” one of the troopers is muttering to another, and Din knows it’s time. He charges and fires his whistling birds taking out four of the troopers at once and as he turns to fire at the other two, he sees their bodies being slammed together forcefully. Despite the terrible situation, he smiles to himself as he sees the child’s hands raised, helping him defeat the Imps. He quickly dispatches the last two troopers and then dashes to the Razor Crest.

He takes off as quickly as he knows how and, risking everything, makes the jump to hyperspace while he’s still in the planet’s atmosphere. It’s incredibly dangerous but it pays off and thankfully, the Crest manages to get away.

As hyperspace glows blue around him, Din plots in a course back to his Covert. He needs reinforcements and this time he can’t let the past hold him back from accepting help.

“We’re going to get her back, buddy,” Din vows looking at the child, “Don’t you worry.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter. Link to Chapter 9: Not Without My Cyar’ika

Mando’a glossary:

gar vode = your brethren, your brothers

ner vod = my brother

beroya = bounty hunter

riduurok = marriage, wedding ceremony

riduur = spouse

ad’ika = little one (affectionate)

aliit = family

buir = parent

di’kut = idiot

mesh’la = beautiful

Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum = I love you (literally, I know you forever)

mandokarla = having the right stuff, the epitome of Mandalorian spirit

Ibic mando’kar =This is the way (there is some debate about how to say it)

Tag list: @grogusmum @wellofeternalthirst @idreamofboobear @theamuz @fangirlalexia @callmekane @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @theravenreads @nicotinebirds @boomtownboy @nova646 @wandering-storm-lost-shadow @becks-things @sleepwithacommunist @mackycat11 @som3thingcr3ative @punkdalek @pinkninja200 @s-unflowxr @ladyjenny19 @peppywitch @haley7242 @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @hotsauceonabiscuit @asta-lily

#the mandalorian #din djarin #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian x female reader #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian smut #din djarin smut

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ushiwakatrash · 4 years ago

Text

On your knees, King!

Bakugou x reader, Todoroki x reader

Fantasy AU

!Warnings!: Swearing, betrayal, lil dash of angst, shitty writing

Synopsis:

Bakugou is the esteemed King of the Kingdom of Barbarians and because he succeeded in ruling the lands that were once governed by the Yuuei Kingdom, an offering must be made for the peace of the people. As the so-called ‘black sheep’ of the royal family, the King of Yuuei a.k.a. your father, offered you--naming you the most precious thing he could give; but you know the truth behind his words.

PART I

Part 2 →

“All hail the Barbarian king!”

Chants roared throughout the fallen kingdom as the last palace on the hunt list fell to the hands of the barbarians. The leader of their army, along with his trusted dragon, stood tall as they basked in their hard-earned victory.

The dragon who could shapeshift into human form kneeled at the foot of his master. “At long last my king, Yuuei is ours. This glory is because of you.”

“There, you are wrong, Kirishima. This victory is ours. TO THE BARBARIANS!” the king cheered. His soldiers followed suit with their own cheers of victory but in the castle of Yuuei, a family shuddered in fear.

Since the king couldn’t govern all of the kingdoms he had conquered all at once, he usually appointed the royal family to do it for him but one wrong move may cost their heads.

That fear was enough for the other kingdoms to pledge loyalty, knowing how the Barbarian king would definitely hang their heads on the palace gates if they ever displeased him.

The same feeling emanated in the walls of Yuuei. They knew of the new King’s ways and now they were the newest set of prisoners of the Barbarians. The king however needs a token, one of the most worth in the former king’s possession.

Other nations brought forth their best quality gold, finest jewels, the smoothest cloths of silk, but only this kingdom had a princess--and that was worth more than any of those other gifts combined.

(Y/n) was called a weight on the family name by her own kin. She was far from what you would call an elegant lady. During the daytime you would see her sparring with the knights. Other times she would go hunting with her commoner friends.

She knew her way with swords and weapons. She is also very skilled with the bow. One of their best knights, Iida Tenya, taught her to wield these things even if it was against his will at first.

She was the princess of the people and all the commoners adored her. Her family on the other hand frowned upon her actions calling it ‘unfit for a lady and a princess’ but she could care less.

Raw strength was not a problem for this princess and accompanied by her smarts, everyone looked up to her. The royal family could careless for their people but the heart of (Y/n) was just like that of a commoner.

She knew of their struggles and accepted criticism they had which earned her the respect of almost all of the people. She sometimes would sneak out of the castle to give food to those who have nothing on their plates or give medicine to the sick.

The only person who knew this was her childhood friend, Prince Shouto. They were introduced to each other when they were young as political marriages often happened between royal families; they were engaged.

And because their kingdom had also fallen in the hands of the great King Bakugou, their engagement had been called of because even if they remained in their respective palaces and continued to govern their own land, they were royals no more.

She lacked finesse and grace but she never lacked in heart and compassion. She was the only princess born in a royal family and because of her attitude and crass behavior, the King found her useless and an embarrassment.

What other way to get rid of her than to give her as an offering? Surely she would refuse the offer so the king had to plan on how to break the news on his only daughter.

The queen refused to give her daughter away but if they did not comply, all three of their heads will be chopped off from their body. It was the only way to survive in their lost kingdom.

The only lucky thing that they could happen to have right now is that their daughter would be at the age to marry. She was.

The sun was out and the weather was nice--the perfect time to catch a wild boar. The town folks will surely enjoy the meals that could be made with it. She reached for the red tooth that was attached to a slim piece of rope wrapped around her neck and touched it for good luck before hunting.

When she was only starting to get into hunting as a young girl, she wandered off to the woods by herself. That’s when she met a blonde with piercing red eyes. At fist he was hostile towards her but after a few more visits, they became friends.

He taught her how to skillfully shoot a pigeon with a bow, and they would have that bird for lunch. He taught her how to climb trees and distinguish poisonous berries from edible ones.

One time, after they had finish catching fishes in the river to roast, he shyly handed her the necklace, telling the princess that it was a price from defeating a beast of the forest. In her state of happiness, she tackled the young boy into the hug and unknown to her, it was the first time he had felt affection.

She had no idea what was going on in the palace. She was busy finding food for the poor families she had recently talked to. A knight from the castle rushed to her, scaring the animals away.

“Why would you make so much racket in the middle of our hunt?! This better new you have better be worthwhile or I’ll have you running laps around the town!” the princess complained.

“I am truly sorry, your highness but his majesty has summoned you in the throne room right this instant so we better get a move on and not let the king wait.” the knight swiftly said.

“My daughter, I have some important news for you. For all of our sakes and for our people’s sake, you are to be given as the token of our loyalty to the Barbarians.” the king stated with no emotions.

You scoffed at this. “Why me? You have tons of gold and brilliant stones! I do not get why it must be me that is given. How about what I want?! How about my say in all of this?!”

“You will obey your father whether you like it or not! For once be useful to this family you ungrateful child! You will be given to King Bakugou and you will be taken as his wife. Resistance is futile because I have already sent the signed papers” the king stated, more aggressively this time.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Is my freedom and happiness too much to ask from you? A loveless marriage for the sake of who, yourselves?! I doubt this is for the sake of the people. I’d rather die!” her voice started to shake.

“You will do no such thing as to kill yourself. Your wedding to King Bakugou is absolute and I will hear no further complains. Please my loyal men, escort the princess out of here.”

“You fucking old man! Mark my words I will come back for you, not in joy, but to have you punished!” She screeched.

The night was quiet for the sulking princess and no other thing could lift her spirits up other than to visit Prince Shouto. She snuk out of the castle once more and was warmly greeted by the guards in the Endeavor Palace.

The ruler there, Enji, took care of business outside the town so only the princes and princess Fuyumi were in the castle.

She was quickly escorted to Prince Shouto’s headquarters and she flung the door open and hugged the prince, finally letting the tears fall. “Shouto I am getting married to a man I don’t love! My father is the worst I fucking hate him. He is always against me!”

Shouto understood the feeling of resent towards their father. That was the thing they both strongly had in common, dealing with the fathers they wish weren’t theirs.

“It cant be that bad (Y/n)” Shouto said while trying to wipe her tears away. He cupped her face and asked “To whom are you to be wed anyway?”

The prince’s world stopped when he heard her answer.

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julieloveupstead · 3 years ago

Text

"So Happy and So Grateful and in Love" - Part 2

Decription: The best day in their lifes.

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Prov Hailey:

We decided to get married on the Greek island of Zakynthos because of my background. Jay is very interested in Greek history and even asks me to learn the language, which is sweet of him. This is one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him. The fact that he wanted to learn every little detail about me and now the place where I was born is amazing. Even just thinking about those tiny details in which pure love from his side spoke, tears come to my eyes. I closed my eyes for the hundredth time not to spoil the makeup that Stella put on me a few minutes ago and breathed in the fresh Mediterranean air. I was thankful that we weren't getting married in a church in Chicago with lots of guests, but with some of the closest people in our lives in Greece outside in front of such a beautiful view of the sea. I can't believe this is actually happening, that in a few minutes I will stand in front of the man who is my everything, my anchor, my rock, my peace and my soulmate and vow to love him to the grave.

- Are you all right Goldilocks? - I heard the question, so I opened my eyes and met the brown eyes of desk Serge

desk who has always been a role model for me for so many years and was like a mom to me. I owed so many things to Trudy Platt and I could not even imagine missing her on the most important day of my life. I gave her a sincere and grateful smile and she returned the favor which is something very special about her and something that doesn't happen very often which makes me feel even more special that I am one of the few who can see the other side of her.

- It's all right Serge - I wiped a tear that ran down my cheek. - Stella is going to murder me, this is the fourth time she has to fix my make up. - I joked and we both laughed.

- It's true - admitted Platt. We stood in silence for a moment, staring at the view in front of us. - Hailey, I know I'm not always nice and pleasant, and I'm not often complimentary, but I'm very proud of you as a beautiful, confident woman. I am happy to be a part of your transformation. - She looked at me with tear-stained eyes. Damn, this is the first time I've seen our sergeant like this. - Hailey you know I never had the chance to have a child, but I wish I had a daughter like you - unfortunately Kidd is going to kill me because I cried again, damn. I didn't know what to say to those words so I just decided to give a big hug to the woman who saved my life many years ago, who gave me purpose in life.

- Serge, you don't even know how much your words mean to me," my voice was breaking, but I kept talking. - I love my mother, but many events in the past have made my relationship with her far from a mother-daughter relationship and I have come to terms with that, but then you came along and you are not very patient - I prefer not to risk her anger even on my wedding day. - but I feel like I have a better relationship with you than I did with my birth mother. I am grateful to you for so many things. I wish my mother was like you, Trudy, and you don't know how much it means to me that you're here. Platt pulled me close, and I snuggled into her. I don't know how long we stood there, but we only pulled away when we heard a quiet grunt from somewhere on the side. I looked in that direction and saw Will standing there with a big smile and Vi standing to the side of him with a bouquet of flowers for me.

- Hailey remember that if you tell anyone about this I will deny everything - I looked at the Sergeant, who was deadly serious.

- Copy you - I nodded, and in a moment she was no longer with me.

- Are you ready? - asked Vi coming up to me together with Will. I nodded as a sign that I was ready. - Here - she handed me a bouquet of white and pale pink roses. I took it and leaned over to smell it.

- Well good, because I can hear the bells starting to ring already - Vanessa said with a smile, gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away leaving me with Jay's brother.

- Hailey

- Will

we said at the same time and burst out laughing.

- Speak first - he showed me to start.

- Okay, so I wanted to thank you for trusting me with Jay, I promise I'll never hurt him and thank you for accepting me into your family - I wanted to say something else but my voice started to break again. Damn this was supposed to be my happiest day ever and I wasn't supposed to cry and today I'm doing nothing but crying. Ehh.

- Oh Hailey it is my honor to have you become a member of our family of two. - He laughed confidently at the memory - For many years me and Jay didn't have a good relationship. We both did a lot of stupid things. Jay changed completely after his mom died, he and his dad got along badly, I left them both, and most of all what happened in Afghanistan, the thing with Erin and everything else caused Jay to come to darkness. I was afraid of losing him, another family member, my only family - I could see how much it was costing Will to revisit those bad memories. I didn't feel any better. Every time I recall the moment I meet his little brother. I realize how little we would have missed having Jay with us. - Ehh - Will wiped a quick tear running down his cheek. My eyes welled up with tears too, once again. Damn, how much can you cry? - And then you showed up and everything changed. My brother finally saw that there was something to fight for. I got my brother back. Smiling, full of life, and it's all because of you, Hailey. - I tried really hard to keep the tears from flowing, but I couldn't. All I could do was hug Will tightly. - We have to go now," I pulled away from him when I heard the wedding music play. I hurriedly wiped away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks and nodded because that was all I could say. Will gave me his arm, which I accepted, and we both walked slowly down the aisle.

As I walked I loved the smiling faces of not friends, but family. And never before have I been so grateful for them as I am now. Being here I realized how lucky I was and that after all the years of hell I had been through fate was finally smiling down on me and something inside me told me that this was just the beginning. When I stood next to Jay and looked into his eyes I saw glassy green eyes and in them was infinite love.

- Are you okay? - I read the question from his gaze and nodded in response. Even after six years, I can't get over how much he cares about my well-being, my opinion. I'm not exaggerating here to say that he treats me like a princess. How did I ever deserve this man?

- Well," began the priest, to whom I turned my attention. - We have come here to witness these two people in love pledging their love to each other until the grave. Looking at them, I don't need to know them personally to know that the feeling they have for each other is unique and unprecedented. You, since you are here, probably feel the same way, and since you know them better than I do, you will agree that they love each other very much, and today's ceremony is just the icing on the cake of their relationship. - He paused so the guests could nod their heads in agreement. - Now it was time for the bride and groom to take the floor. Hailey will you begin?

Oh my gosh, I can feel my throat tightening and now all the guests have gone quiet, even though the ceremony is outdoors, I can't hear anything but the sound of the sea behind me. I breathed deeply a few times to calm down my thoughts and to be able to form coherent sentences. I would like to say so much to him, to express how much I love him, but I am afraid that I will not find the words to express how much I love him and how much he means to me. I hope that what I say now will be enough.

- Where do I begin here? Ehh. When we first met in that bank we were at a completely different stage of life, but by some miracle we caught a connection. I immediately noticed that underneath the mask of a closed off, uncompromising, former wtereran, cold and withdrawn was hiding a kind-hearted, sparring and sensitive man who had lost his way a bit and was broken by demons from his past. It was hard to get through your barriers and get you to trust me, but when it finally happened I was overjoyed. There were times I was scared for you and then my heart would break into little pieces because for some reason you were already close to me then. I, on the other hand, was no better. I didn't tell you much of my demons, but I always knew that if I had to share my story with anyone it would be you and only you. Because there's no one I trust more than you. From the first day I met you. And maybe it took four years, two gunshots, a kidnapping and my move to New York for us to understand, for me to understand that you are more than a work partner to me, more than a friend. So that I would have the courage to be in tune with my feelings, because our job really, I don't know when it could be our last day. When you met me I was, in fact I tried to be tough, strong, withdrawn and above it all. Life has thwarted me many times, since I was a child I had to learn to hold my head high and fight, I was broken, I healed many wounds, some new ones appeared but in the end thanks to your help I got back on my feet, wounds heal, although I still have a lot of work to do to fully recover but with you all the stages, this war for myself is easier. For years I did not allow myself to think that I could fall in love, that I would be standing in a wedding dress in front of a man whom I love, with whom I want to live my life and the thought of starting a family will germinate in my head. And this prospect, which only 6 years ago scared me, now I look forward to what the future will bring with you. - I finished. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I had been holding in. I was so offered by my monologue that I forgot about the presence of those gathered. I wiped away the tears streaming down my cheeks and looked at Jay, who had a look of boundless love in his eyes, and the tears streaming down his cheeks were going into oblivion. I can't ever get over how much love this boy has for me. It's impossible to comprehend how special it makes me feel.

- Okay, now it's my turn," he grunted, his smile always reserved for me, full of love and something I couldn't name until now. - I've never been good at saying what I feel, but I'll try now - he joked - You came into my life unexpectedly, at the worst time of my life, when I didn't care about anything. I was falling into a black abyss, but every day I came out of it. At first I didn't know why your opinion mattered the most to me, why every thought was about you, why everything I did was with you in mind. I'm a veteran of the military for me jumping into the fire of bullets, entering into different dangerous situations was not a problem before, I did it with my eyes closed, but since the battle in that tunnel those 4 years ago after my death, when I saw your face, scared and broken, something changed in me. I wasn't so willing to risk anymore, in some strange way you made me want to be more careful, but then this thing with Angela came up and then I realized I had to fight just for you, I wanted so much to see your beautiful ocean blue eyes, a smile that is the most beautiful and wonderful I have ever seen and heard. You are the first thought and the last. I'm in love with you like crazy, I can't think, sleep, eat and function normally and only when you left for New York it came to me that I can't and don't want to lose you. Everyone but you. You don't even know how much it means to me and maybe it's selfish of me, but I'm overjoyed that you chose me, that you honored me with the chance to get close to you and I promise that you will never regret it. I will spend every hour, minute and second to bring a smile to your face, tears, but only those of happiness and I will do everything to make you happy, because only you matter to me. I love no one more in my life than I love you and our baby - his gaze fell on my belly. That's how I took the test yesterday and it turned out that under my heart is the fruit of our, my and Jay's love. He was by my side every step of the way from buying the test to the result. He was so happy and I was with him. Now we are going to be a real family. The three of us. - The two of you are my world and will be my world to the end of my life," he finished.

My heart stopped with love, I've never heard such beautiful words and every time I think I can't love him more it always turns out how wrong I was. Jay let go of my hand that he had been holding and used his thumb to gently wipe away the tears from my cheek. At this gesture I closed my eyes to completely surrender to the feel of his warm skin on my cheek.

- Now it's time for the bride and groom to exchange their wedding rings," said the priest, who I had forgotten about a few minutes before, just like the rest of the people in the church. - I'll ask the best man to give them to me. - Mouse took a small maroon square box from his jacket pocket and handed it to the clergyman, who took it. - Please - he opened the item and waited for us to take one each. I turned the ring over and noticed that they were engraved with "I'll folow you anywhere" our password in Jay's handwriting. I looked at Jay' who just smiled widely at me which I reciprocated. I shook Jay's hand, he caught it gently as if I was made of the most fragile piece of glass. Little gestures like that make me smile all the time.

- I'll folow you anywhere - he said, slipping the ring onto my ring finger.

- I'll folow you anywhere - I repeated after him.

- Now the bride and groom can kiss each other - and without any delay we both joined our lips in a kiss and even though we have exchanged these kisses from millions each one was special and so is this time.

- I love you Jay - I said as I pulled away from him.

- I love you Hailey - he said and kissed me again.

Nothing else mattered, just him, me, and this little life that was beginning to grow inside me. Whatever the future held for us it would always be me, him and our baby until the end of the world and one day more.

#upstead fic #upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #jay x hailey

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aesthbaby · 4 years ago

Text

Because I Love You

Summary: Angst/comfort story. Check out the request for an actual summary

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x gender neutral reader

Request: This one

Warnings: Cursing | fighting

Word count: 2k

Masterlist

She didn’t come home.

She left you a voicemail saying she was sorry but she didn’t come home.

Rationally, you called Penelope and she didn’t really tell you much except that this case really got to Emily. She didn’t say anything on the jet back but everyone knew it really got to her. They had a rule, never take your work home with you. After everything that’s happened with Morgan, Hotch, and JJ the team had made a promise to never take your work home with you. You and Emily don’t have children like they do but it was the same principle, the best way to keep their loved ones safe is to keep them away from their work. You didn’t know that was a rule they made; all you knew was the Emily hardly ever talked about her job and just chalked it up to her being closed off.

You had to hear about the rule from Penelope when you called her all flustered and worried. Apparently Em stayed later than everyone to finish her reports but since she was silent throughout the whole thing everyone was worried. Penelope volunteered to stay behind and keep an eye on her but eventually Emily convinced her she was fine.

So when you called and asked where your girlfriend was, she didn’t know what to say.

“Emily, baby, please pick up. I know you’re not okay, I mean I know you’re physically fine. I didn’t ask Pen to ping your phone because I know that’s an invasion of privacy but don’t underestimate me Emily Prentiss.”

That’s the 6th voice mail you’ve left for her and now its two in the morning. You’re on the couch eating Twizzlers (mostly just chewing on them because it calms your nerves) while some trashy reality show is playing in the background. When you first moved in together you couldn’t sleep without her next to you. It took some time for you to get used to the empty space in your bed and being woken up by her crawling into bed at late hours. She would snuggle herself under your arm and just listen to your heartbeat after a long day. She always thought you were asleep so you’d play along while she would tell you about her day. Its the most vulnerable she’ll let herself be; although you’d prefer it if she talked to you awake, you’ll take what you can get. Just when it felt like you were settling into a routine, she up and does this. You’d finally gotten her to agree to do an emotion chart with you. As ridiculous as it sounds it was something you used to write in your bullet journal years ago, you bought Emily one so she could do the same. She resisted at first but now she likes doing it (but she’d never admit that). Writing her emotions down has helped her be more open with you.

“I’m sorry y/n but the last time I saw Emily was on my way out of the bullpen, hours ago.” JJ sleepily tells you over the phone. “But I’m sure she’s fine, probably just needed some space after today.”

“Right...well, sorry for waking you up JJ.”

“Oh no, don’t worry its fine. I’m still finishing up some paper work for Henry’s new school. Who knew getting into a private school would take so much work out of you?” She laughs.

“The uhm...The Merit School?” I doubt I’d ever send my child to a school THAT expensive but who knows.

“Yeah, its going to cost us an arm and a leg but its a really great school.”

“I wish you guys the best of luck, and I’m sorry for bothering you so late.”

“Anytime,” Right when you’re about to hang up you hear her call your name. “Take care of Emily for me--for all of us.”

“I will JJ.”

Then you texted Garcia but never hit send because you already feel bad for bugging her earlier.

So you bothered Reid instead. You two have never been close but you do bond over vintage movies every now and then. You practically beg him to break this rule the BAU team has put into effect. The doctor was hesitant to tell you anything but eventually he did after rambling on about something that didn’t make any sense he gave you a brief summary on why he thinks this case may be hitting Emily so hard. “The unsub was the lieutenant for the local cartel who had been killing off his lovers. Those being undercover detectives who he would nicknames his wives. They would have to feign loyalty to him no matter what he did and by the time we arrived he had already executed three of them.”

“Why did he kill them?” You ask not really wanting to know the answer.

“There was a mole in the department. When he found out about them he...uhm...”

“Its okay Spencer, I get it.”

After a moment of silence he says, “Emily’s going to come home to you y/n. She loves you, we can all see it.”

“Thank you Spencer.”

Your concern is slowly morphing into frustration. How could she do this? She knows how worried I get if she simply leaves me on read. If I did something like this, Emily would have my head! Oh and what happened to aLwAyS teLLiNg eAcH oTheR tHe TrUtH?? Guess that doesn’t apply to her huh.

You get up to take a shower but instead you run smack dead into the coffee table. You’ve got to be fu-

“Oh hi Sergio.” The black cat dances around your legs. I think this cat senses my impending anxiety. “At least you’re here, your mommy is going to be in trouble when I see her.”

Where the hell are you Emily Prentiss? And like magic you hear the door unlock and open. I’m going to kill her. No no, I am going to give her a stern talking to. You know what? I don’t even feel like arguing--actually I do. “Sergio, hold me back.” Y/n, breathe, you need to empathize and sympathize with her. Or else this could get real ugly, real fast.

So, you sit down in the plush arm chair you begged Emily for when you first got here. She thinks its ugly but eventually she stopped trying to fight you. “Emily. Elizabeth. Prentiss.” You pronunciate each word slowly.

And there she is, white button up shirt tucked into her hundred dollar Express slacks with a double breasted blazer over the whole thing. My baby looks good but I will show no mercy for this behavior. “Hey.” She says casually, like she hasn’t been MIA for hours. “I brought Pad Thai.” She dangles the brown bag while locking all the locks on the door. A total of four, five if you count the alarm system. She goes straight for the kitchen without looking your way. No doubt that’s suspicious. “I couldn’t decide between cheese rangoons or egg rolls so I got us both.” You hear the fridge open and close but you still haven’t seen your girlfriend’s face. “Sorry for not picking up earlier. I needed time to get my head together.”

“Emily.” You almost growl the name. “Please, come and sit down.”

“You know at first I thought I’d get something from that fancy Slovakian place you like but then I remembered how sick I got last time.” She walks straight past you without a glance, into your shared bedroom.

This is unbelievable. “If I have to call your name one more time, Emily there will be hell to pay.” That seems to get her attention. She walks back into the living room but her back is to you and her head is low. Emily’s head never hangs low. “Look at me, Em.” When you’re met with nothing you stand, “Meet me half way Emily. Look me in the eyes.” You walk up to her and gently turn her by her shoulder. Her eyes have a sheer layer of pink over them, she’s not crying but she wants to. “Em...” You let out a brief sigh.

She walks out from under your grasp and heads toward the kitchen again. “Y/n...can we just go to bed? Eat trashy Chinese food like we always do and watch, I don’t know? The Bachelor?”

“You hate that show.”

“I know...”

“But you need something to take your mind off of today...” You nod, you know her too well. She’s silent in that moment. “Em I know this is about Ian Doyle.” Her eyes shoot up to yours. “Don’t be mad but I made Spencer tell me.” She turns to walk away but you grasp her hand, firmly. “You have no right to be upset about that Emily!” You and her hardly argue so the shout that came from your mouth was shocking. “I had to hear from your friend what was going on with you because you tell me nothing!” You’re in tears and it looks as if she feels some level of guilt. “Nothing Emily! I respect your privacy to the best of my abilities but this is where I draw the line.”

“Why do you care?” You look at her in complete disbelief. “Y/n why do you care so much?”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me?” You don’t curse much around her (away from her is a different story) so this is how she could tell when you’re really upset. “Are you serious Emily? Why can’t you just open your heart to me? Is it honestly that hard to sit down and have a decent conversation with me?”

“Y/n,” She pauses. “Why do you care about me? Why do you care about any of this?”

“Because I love you! Do you not understand that? I’m constantly worried about you and the main reason has nothing to do with your job. Its because you compartmentalize so well that it feels like I don’t even know you sometimes. I never know if you’re actually okay because you don’t tell me anything! Not knowing what you’re going through hurts like hell.”

“Y/n...Its not what you think. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Emily,” You take both of her hands in yours. “I’m not the one that’s hurt, you are. I know you don’t like to talk about him but baby if you keep this shit bottled up it will destroy you.” Her mouth opens and closes like she wants to say something but nothing comes out. “The victims reminded you of yourself, didn’t they?”

“What? No,” She tries to shrug off your question. “They were detectives. They were young, blonde, and sporty types. That’s not me.”

“They had to pretend to be in love with a drug lord.

“No...”

“They had to pledge allegiance to a man who didn’t think twice about killing them.”

“No.” She shakes her head.

“Someone from their own department exposed them and for that they were executed.”

“Stop!” She doesn’t shout. She doesn’t scream. Her voice is broken by the tears welling up in her eyes.

You lay your palm on her cheek and look deep into her brown eyes. “These women were betrayed by the people sworn to protect them. Their lives were taken by a man who called himself their lover.” She starts to cry a little more and you feel bad but this has to come out.

“Stop. Please.” She chokes.

You wrap her in your arms, with her head on your shoulder. “It could have been you...”

“It could have been me...” She repeats after a beat of silence.

“But it wasn’t you.” You just hold onto her until she pulls away.

“Y/n...I’m sorry.” She takes your other hand in hers.

“Its okay.” You just hold your love like this is the last time you’ll ever meet. She deserves so much more than what this world has given her. She’s worth more than she’ll ever know. “He will never lay a hand on you ever again.”

She looks at you with the saddest eyes, it reminds you of the childhood pictures she’s shown you. “Never.”

“Never.” You repeat. You sniffle a little while wiping your eyes. “Now, did I hear you say you brought Cheese Rangoons?”

She laughs a little at that. “Yeah...about that...”

“What?” Your eyes narrow on her.

“There’s only one left.” You playfully punch her shoulder. “I ate like three in the car.” Its good to hear her laugh after the day she’s had.

“Its okay.” You grab the bag from the fridge and two bottles of water. “Now, you and I are going to eat in bed and talk about your day while Keeping up with the Kardashians plays in the background.”

“But I hate that show.” She wines.

You steal a quick kiss before heading to the bedroom. “I know, we’re just using it as background noise.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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dettiot · 4 years ago

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Fic: For Want of a Lightsaber 1/?

For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

For want of a lightsaber, the galaxy is saved.

XXX

Hello! So earlier today, I saw a piece of fanart by @squishbaebae that gave me all the feels--and ideas! So I worked backwards from Anakin and Obi-Wan being involved in the Rebellion during RoTJ to come up with this story that takes a different twist on RotS.

Dialogue taken from RotS.

I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I hope you enjoy reading this!

You can also read this on AO3.

XXX

Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight, breathed hard as he held his sparking, damaged lightsaber in his hand. He felt the power coursing through his veins, a dark command ringing in his ears, as he watched Master Windu fall into the depths of Coruscant.

And at the same time . . . he felt the call of the Light Side. He could feel his bond with Obi-Wan, could feel his master’s tired satisfaction at defeating General Grievous, thinking about the end of the war. He could sense Padmé, nearby in her Senate office. And the baby cradled inside her, so bright and strong with the Force.

“What have I done?” he said, unable to stay upright. He fell to his knees, his head hanging low, as he struggled.

He couldn’t lose Padmé. He would not lose her. Not like he had lost his mother. Nothing else mattered except Padmé and their baby.

Even though he was turning his back on everyone and everything else . . . but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t fair, how the Jedi treated him. It wasn’t fair that they wanted to take away the one thing he needed in the entire galaxy!

“You are fulfilling your destiny, Anakin,” the Chancellor said, still so calm, so certain, even after what had just happened. “Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force.”

Would the Dark Side give him what he needed? Not just Padmé, but . . . the certainty that the Chancellor had? That Padmé had? Would the struggle be over?

Anakin didn’t know. But--but he had to try.

“I will do whatever you ask,” he said, lifting his head to look at the Chancellor, to see his face wrinkled and aged, his eyes gleaming yellow.

“Good!” The Chancellor’s voice was full of approval, of triumph.

“Just help me save Padmé’s life,” Anakin said quickly, needing the Chancellor to know how important this was. “I can’t live without her.”

The Chancellor nodded. “To cheat death is the power only one has achieved. But if we work together, I know we can discover the secret.”

A voice in the back of Anakin’s head, a voice that sounded like Obi-Wan and infuriated him, quietly nudged him. He doesn’t know? How will that help Padmé, when she dies in childbirth in your dreams? She’s so close to the end of her pregnancy . . .

He pushed away the voice, feeling his anger grow. If the Chancellor said they could do it, they would do it. They could get started right now!

“I pledge myself to your teachings,” Anakin said, bowing his head again. “To . . . to the ways of the Sith.”

The Jedi were so stubborn and righteous. They had lost their way. He was the Chosen One. He could learn from Darth Sidious, save Padmé, and then--then he’d figure out the rest. Just as long as he had Padmé.

“Good. Good!” the Chancellor said, his praise a balm on Anakin’s soul. “The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Anakin Skywalker, you are one with the Order of the Sith Lords. Henceforth, you will be known as Darth . . . Vader.”

Darth Vader? That--that wasn’t--was it supposed to sound scary?. It sounded . . . kinda lame. Like something he might have come up with as a kid.

Anakin--no, he was Darth Vader now--shook off the irrelevant thought. “Thank you . . . my Master.”

His skin crawled a little. It didn’t feel right to call the Chancellor ‘master’. It felt . . . dangerous.

The anger inside him roared and howled at the word. He tried to reason with himself, but--but then he realized he didn’t have to. He could be angry. As angry as he wanted!

“Rise,” the Chancellor said regally. “We have much to do.”

Standing up, Anakin nodded. “We have to begin our research.”

“Research?” the Chancellor said, some of the wrinkles shifting in a motion that reminded Anakin of someone quirking an eyebrow.

Frowning, Anakin said, “To save Padmé.”

“Of course, my young apprentice, of course,” the Chancellor said, patting his shoulder. “But first, we must secure ourselves. The Jedi must be eliminated. They are too dangerous. You must lead the 501st against the Temple. You know what you must do. Leave no one alive.”

The 501st? His legion? They were good men . . . would they follow his order to attack?

“How?” Anakin asked. “They’ll argue--”

“They will follow my order,” the Chancellor said, waving a hand in the air as if Anakin’s objection was a mote of dust.

Why was he arguing with his master? He had to stop--he couldn’t risk Padmé’s life like this!

But there was one more problem . . .

“Master,” Anakin said, holding up his lightsaber. A stray blast of electricity from the Chancellor’s attack on Master Windu had caught the lightsaber. The crystal inside was dead, utterly destroyed.

The Chancellor sighed heavily. “Oh, my. Do you have a spare lightsaber?”

“No, Master. And no spare kyber crystals, either.”

The Force stirred around him and Anakin felt annoyed. It was like someone tapping you on the shoulder when you were trying to ignore them.

“I must go to Ilum,” Anakin said. “The 501st are good soldiers. They will follow orders.”

“Yes, they will,” the Chancellor said, sounding dissatisfied. “And I suppose younglings and elderly Jedi will pose no challenge to the finest men of the Grand Army. Very well, Lord Vader. You will go to Ilum and then await further instructions.”

“Yes, my master,” Anakin said, bowing his head.

He turned to leave, only to stop when his master spoke. “Lord Vader?”

“Yes?” he asked, turning to look at him.

“I am no longer the Chancellor. I am your master, Lord Sidious. The ruler of my Galactic Empire.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was cold and hard and . . . terrifying. “Remember that.”

Anakin felt himself swallow. “Yes, Lord Sidious.”

And just like that, his old friend returned. “Very good. Hurry along, Lord Vader.”

His anger sparked. He wasn’t some child! He--he was Sidious’ chosen apprentice, strong in the Force!

Sidious closed his eyes. “Oh, your anger is powerful! Give in to it and feel your strength increase!”

That little Obi-Wan voice piped up again. Well, this is disturbing .

Too confused and angry and worried, Anakin ignored it all and stormed out of the Chancellor--the Emperor’s--office.

XXX

Oh, how he hated Ilum. It was always so kriffing cold.

But he had his crystals, and he had built a new lightsaber, so he was ready to get back to Coruscant. To check on Padmé, to find out if his master had found any information on how to save her.

He knew he was supposed to wait for instructions, but--but he couldn’t just sit in orbit around Ilum! It was too far away. He needed to be close to Padmé--it was nearly her time.

So he set course for Coruscant.

Only six parsecs from the planet, the holo chimed. Anakin quickly answered it, feeling a sense of anticipation in the Force.

His spirits plummeted when he beheld his master’s face.

“You were supposed to wait for further instructions,” Lord Sidious said darkly.

“I know, my master, but I thought--”

“You do not disobey my orders!”

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but--but he couldn’t breathe--

Putting his hand to his throat, he felt an invisible hand clutch around his neck, cutting off his air. He stared at his master, who looked back at him with anger and glee.

Just as suddenly as it started, the pressure was gone. Anakin gasped, leaning forward in his seat.

“Foolish boy,” Sidious spat out. “Your ineptitude has already cost me plenty. The Jedi in the Temple were able to fight back and several escaped. I can have no resistance to my rule. But first, you must go to Mustafar. Eliminate the Separatists. I have need for them no longer.”

“The Separatists?” Anakin asked in a raspy voice, feeling a wave of anger. “You--you controlled them?”

“A simple matter,” his master said. “I do not like these continued questions, Lord Vader. I see now that part of your training will require reinforcement of my orders.”

He tilted his head. “Or perhaps you require a reason to comply. I should visit your lovely wife. In her hour of need, she must be fearful--”

“No!” Anakin said, leaning forward, his chest aching. “No, I’ll do it, I promise!”

His master tutted. “Your promises mean nothing to me. I require your unhesitating obedience. Do you understand?”

Of course he understood! He wasn’t dumb. He was powerful and strong--Sidious had said so himself. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this! He wasn’t some slave to be ordered around!

Anakin’s blood ran cold. Was that what he was now? A slave? Again?

The pressure was back on his windpipe--not so strong as before, but enough to make his breaths come short. He nodded and wheezed, “Yes, Master.”

“Go to Mustafar. Do not delay,” Sidious ordered before ending the comm.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Anakin leaned his head forward. He was so tired . . . the lack of oxygen made his exhaustion feel even heavier. He just wanted Padmé.

Without conscious thought, he reached for the comm and keyed in Padmé’s personal frequency. Only a few people had this frequency and she always answered it, no matter what.

But this time, she didn’t. Anakin felt his fears grow. “Padmé? Padmé, please call me back as soon as you can. I--I . . .”

He let his voice trail off as he tried to think of what to say. How could he explain what he had done? She would be so disappointed . . .

But it wasn’t his fault! He was doing this for her! Why couldn’t she understand that? He did everything for her!

“I need you to come to Mustafar,” he said. “I’ll send you my coordinates. Just--just meet me there, as soon as you can. Please, Padmé.”

If he could just see her, things would be better. They could figure things out. Padmé--Padmé would forgive him, once he explained everything.

Nothing made sense right now. Padmé would fix that. He just had to take care of the Separatists first.

She would be happy about that. After all, the Trade Federation was part of the Separatists. With them gone, Padmé would be safe. No more attacks on her life. No more danger for the baby.

This was good, Anakin told himself as he changed course. Once he took care of the Separatists and got Padmé, they could go back to Coruscant. He would take Padmé to meet with the Emperor and they would all work together to save Padmé’s life.

You’re lying to yourself.

“Shut up, Obi-Wan,” Anakin muttered.

You know I’m not Obi-Wan.

“Shut up!”

The voice fell silent, leaving Anakin alone.

Alone and wondering what the voice meant when it denied being Obi-Wan. Because . . . it was so like his master--his former master--but, wait, hearing voices?

Was he going insane?

Anakin shook his head and focused on the blue swirl of hyperspace through the viewscreen. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t going to lose Padmé. He wasn’t--he wasn’t--

Sleep.

Even though it felt weird, listening to some strange voice in his head, Anakin closed his eyes. And the next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes, hearing the proximity alarm, and seeing a planet covered in red through the viewscreen.

He had arrived on Mustafar.

XXX

This--this was something he knew how to do.

His lightsaber flashing, the blade bright and blue, Anakin cut through the Separatist leaders. Without Dooku and Grievous, they were all cowering, their pleas for mercy as annoying as the cackles of a Kowakian monkey-lizard.

He left Nute Gunray for last. He advanced towards the Neimoidian, watching as his green skin went pale and his already-big eyes widened.

“No--no, Skywalker!” he said, huddled in a corner. “I beg you!”

Anakin twirled his lightsaber, standing tall in front of Gunray. “This is for my wife,” he said, before plunging the lightsaber through his chest and into the stone wall behind him.

The gasp he let out, the way he slumped down as Anakin pulled his blade free--Anakin felt a ripple of pleasure at his death. He would never harm Padmé again. He would never hurt innocent people in his pursuit of money and power.

Nute Gunray had discovered, the hard way, what true power was.

He held power in his hands and it was . . . it was so good. He could do anything with the Force. He could punish the wicked, kill those who deserved it, bring peace and order to the galaxy.

And he would. He, Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader, would fix the galaxy. He would make Padmé see how much better it was. How much happier she would be if she listened to him.

With his robes fluttering around him as he stalked away, Anakin went to the landing platform. He could feel Padmé approaching.

There was something else--some flicker of a presence, too faint and gone too quickly for him to register. But it didn’t matter. Anakin was stronger than any other Jedi. And if Padmé had betrayed him, he would show her the error of her ways.

And he would forgive her, of course.

Padmé’s ship landed and within moments, she was coming down the landing ramp towards him. She had a hand tucked under her stomach, so pronounced in the tunic she wore, and all Anakin wanted to do was step forward and touch their child and her.

But the expression on her face--she was scared . Of him .

“Anakin,” she said, her voice so sweet and so worried. “I was so worried about you! Obi-Wan--he told me--”

So this was what his old master was doing? He must have felt Anakin’s fall--and instead of coming to him, instead of helping him, he had immediately gone to Padmé! To fill her head with lies, obviously.

To make her stop loving him. So he would give her up.

Anakin clenched his fists, feeling his metal hand creak. He would never give up Padmé!

“Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.” The words felt odd in his mouth, but they were true--they were the truth! Obi-Wan had always been fearful of his power. It must have come from jealousy--the knowledge he would always be lesser than Anakin. A jealousy born from the moment his master had given him up and chosen Anakin.

Padmé shook her head, her long braid swishing a little. “No, Anakin, no--he wants to help us.”

“Us?” he asked, staring at her, unable to believe that--

“He knows,” Padmé said, confirming his worst fear. The fear that had driven him to do anything to protect Padmé, to protect himself.

“He wants to help you--Anakin, all I want is your love,” Padmé said, reaching out for him.

It was all he ever wanted: Padmé, with him, the two of them free to live together in happiness. But if Obi-Wan knew, there could be no happiness. And if he didn’t serve Sidious, he wouldn’t have the power to save Padmé.

“Love won’t save you, Padmé,” he said, trying to make her understand. Hoping for a moment that he could just convince her to listen to him. “Only my new powers can do that.”

She shook her head, getting that stubborn, determined look on her face, even as her eyes looked glassy. “But at what cost? You’re a good person--don’t do this!”

He was ready to tear his own hair out at her blindness. How could she be so cavalier with her life? With the life of their child?

And he felt so kriffing angry at her, for not caring enough about him to protect herself. Didn’t she understand that?

“I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother,” he said, not caring if he was scaring her more. Because he would save her. “I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of, and I’m doing it for you--to protect you!”

To his surprise, Padmé stepped close to him, bringing her hands up to cup his face. “Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can!”

Did she really mean that? Anakin searched her face, hoping he would see something to prove that she wanted to do that. To be with him, safe and happy, with their baby and their love. No more Senate, no more Jedi--just them.

He blinked and shook his head, trying to read her. But all he could feel was anger and fear and darkness.

No--no, she wouldn’t give up her career in the Senate. Not for him--not for anything. She was lying to him!

And why should they run? The Sith didn’t have any stupid rules about attachment--he could have Padmé at his side and still use all the power he had!

“Don’t you see?” he asked, bending close to her. “We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic.”

Padmé was shaking her head, but Anakin couldn’t stop talking. Even as that Obi-Wan voice started spouting its shavit again, telling him that he needed to stop. That he was losing Padmé.

The voice was wrong.

“I’m more powerful than the Chancellor--the Emperor. I--I can overthrow him. And together, you and I can rule the galaxy--make things the way we want them to be!” Anakin finished, feeling breathless and alive like he never had before.

And powerful. Even though Padmé was edging back from him, looking scared and horrified and destroyed.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” he asked, prodding her, wanting her to say the words so he could prove just how wrong she was.

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing!” she cried out. “Obi-Wan was right--you’ve changed!”

Like Obi-Wan would know anything! He hadn’t been here--he had never been here when Anakin needed him! Always spouting about duty and the Code. He had let the woman he loved die for his duty.

Obi-Wan might be the perfect Jedi, but he was a failure of a man. And Anakin would be a better man and a stronger Jedi than Obi-Wan had ever been!

“I don’t want to hear anymore about Obi-Wan,” Anakin warned Padmé. “The Jedi turned against me--the Republic turned against me. Don’t you turn against me, too!”

He would never hurt her--but he would not let her abandon him. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t lose her. Even if it meant he had to force his way into her mind and show her how wrong she was. To blot out Obi-Wan’s voice from her head.

She’s crying. You’ve hurt her.

Anakin used his metal hand to pinch his outer thigh, hard enough to nearly rip out a piece of his flesh. It blotted out the voice of Obi-Wan in his head.

“I don’t know you anymore. Anakin--you’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I can’t follow,” Padmé sobbed.

“You can,” he said, standing over her. “You will come with me. I will save you, and then, we’ll be together and happy--that’s our path, Padmé!”

She was crying too hard to respond other than by shaking her head.

“Padmé, don’t you understand?” he said, gripping her upper arms. “Losing you--I’ll lose myself! I love you!”

“But--but that’s not love!” she said, looking up at him, tears pouring down her face, gasps punctuating her words. “You don’t care about what I want--just what you want! We’re having a baby--you’re about to be a father--you have to care about more than yourself! Please, Ani--stop this now!”

How . . . how dare she! Anakin felt the very air around him snap and crackle with his anger. He took a step back from her, watching as Padmé’s body slumped, barely staying upright.

“Stop, Anakin--please stop,” Padmé whispered, looking up at him with big, lying brown eyes.

But he couldn’t stop. Extending one hand, he started looking for an entrance to her mind. A way to make her see.

Even if it took rearranging her whole mind, he would prove to her how much he loved her.

“Anakin, stop!”

For a moment, he thought it was the voice in his head. But then a powerful Force push moved him away from Padmé, who slumped to the ground. And Obi-Wan was there, striding towards him, looking tired and worried and scared.

But it must all be an act--Obi-Wan didn’t care about him--he had never cared! He just wanted to keep him from his power.

“Don’t do this, my friend--my brother,” Obi-Wan said, his voice breaking.

“You turned her against me!” Anakin said, his anger hotter than the fields of lava surrounding them.

Obi-Wan shook his head and spoke regretfully. “You have done that yourself.”

No--no--no--he hadn’t, he wasn’t. It was all Obi-Wan’s fault!

“You will not take her from me!” He moved to stand between Obi-Wan and Padmé, keeping his old master away from her.

For a long moment, Obi-Wan looked at him. Then he slid off his robes, letting them fall to the landing platform. “Your anger and lust for power have already done that.”

“No!” he screamed, grabbing his lightsaber and igniting it.

Unhindered by his robes, Obi-Wan easily blocked Anakin’s attack. He didn’t care. He didn’t care that Padmé was lying unconscious on the landing platform, that his new lightsaber felt hot in his hand--why was it hot?--that Obi-Wan was fighting him like he never had before, giving so much ground, like he didn’t want to win.

If Obi-Wan didn’t want to win, Anakin wasn’t about to let himself lose in order to give Obi-Wan a hollow victory.

Into every blow and strike, Anakin poured his anger. His frustration. His confusion. His doubt. He pushed Obi-Wan back, back into the complex, past the bodies of the dead Separatists. Let Obi-Wan see what he was capable of!

He would kill Obi-Wan if he tried to stop him.

The heat from the lava, so close underneath their feet, didn’t scare him. He could win this fight. He would win and prove to Obi-Wan how much more powerful he was.

Scrambling, jumping, searching for an opening, a way to land the final blow on Obi-Wan . . . he had to do this. For himself, for Padmé.

Anakin leapt for the platform Obi-Wan was riding through the river of lava. A spark landed on his robes and he shrugged it off, unable to get it all the way off before Obi-Wan attacked him. He shifted his lightsaber into his mech hand, the sudden absence of heat in his right hand making him realize that something must be wrong with his new lightsaber.

He wrapped the Force around Obi-Wan, holding him away as he got his robe the rest of the way off. And Obi-Wan, the karking bastard , smiled.

“Remember the first time we sparred? You forgot to take off your robes then, too.”

How--how could he talk like that? Like they were just having fun, instead of fighting each other for their lives?

“Remember all the times you saved me? All ten times, like on Cato Nemoidia?” Obi-Wan said, his voice hoarse. “Anakin, you need to be saved from yourself.”

Saved? From himself? What kind of poodoo was this? He was strong and powerful! He was going to change the galaxy!

You are destroying the galaxy.

Anakin whirled around, bringing a hand to his head. “Stop!” he yelled, not sure whether he was talking to the voice in his head or to Obi-Wan.

“We don’t have to do this!” Obi-Wan said. “We can leave with Padmé, we can get you help--you don’t want to do this!”

“Yes, I do!” Anakin screamed, his whole body shaking. He brought his lightsaber up in a wide swing, his anger and fear making him sloppy--Obi-Wan would see right through this move--

But Obi-Wan didn’t. Or did he, and he just didn’t move? Anakin didn’t know. But as the lightsaber came closer and closer to his old master, ready to slice him in two at the waist, Anakin felt his heart clutch in his chest as he realized he was going to kill--

And then, just before the blade made contact, it vanished.

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin. Anakin stared at his lightsaber, then pulled it towards him and pressed on the button. Nothing happened.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to Obi-Wan. Wondering what he was going to do. He was unarmed--technically defenseless. Would Obi-Wan continue the fight? Could Anakin win a fight without a lightsaber?

They stared at each other for a moment and Anakin felt his hand ball into a fist. He could still win! He would!

But before he could throw his punch, Obi-Wan shut down his lightsaber. “This ends now, Anakin.”

“No!” he yelled, feeling so tired, so angry, just so done --

Darkness overwhelmed him.

XXX

His head was throbbing. The air was cool. A soft bed cradled his body. A gentle hum filled the air.

And when he opened his eyes, he only saw a dimly-lit white room.

Sitting up slowly, Anakin looked around. It appeared like a medical suite, but unlike any med room he had ever been in. Where were the machines? Where were the healers?

Why was he here?

His clothes were gone and he was dressed in a white gown. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and ran a hand through his hair, finding no lumps or other signs of concussion. Other than the pounding headache, he felt all right.

Anakin frowned. Actually--he felt good . Like he had slept for a year and finally eased his exhaustion, like he had been eating real food for three meals a day instead of ration bars, like he had finally received medical care for all the small, insignificant injuries that had added up over three years of war.

It was like he could actually think clearly, for the first time in so long.

A soft creak made him whip his head around, wincing even as he saw the door to the room open, revealing Obi-Wan.

“Good morning,” he said quietly, stepping into the room. His eyes were steady but opaque as he looked at Anakin.

“Um, hi,” he said, looking around. “Where--where is this?”

“Takodana,” Obi-Wan said, taking a seat on a metal stool a few feet from Anakin’s bed.

The name sounded familiar, but his head hurt too much for him to try and place the planet within the galaxy. So he simply nodded.

“Padmé is safe,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “I thought you’d like to know that first.”

An intense feeling of relief swept through him, almost overwhelming him with its power. “Thank Force,” Anakin said, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. He sighed and looked back at his old master. “And . . . and the baby?”

“Safe as well,” Obi-Wan said, but with a flicker in his Force presence that told Anakin there was more to that. He opened his mouth to press him, but Obi-Wan held up a hand.

“I have a message from her that you can listen after we talk.”

Anakin frowned, starting to rise to his feet. “Obi-Wan, Padmé needs me--”

“No, she doesn’t.”

The bluntness of Obi-Wan’s words, the complete lack of sympathy or kindness in them, made Anakin stare at him. And when he saw how very serious Obi-Wan was, how much he meant those words, he found himself sitting back down.

“What have I done?” Anakin asked, hanging his head. Hearing the echo of the same words, spoken in the Chancellor’s office, when he had Fallen.

He had Fallen. He--he was a Sith.

And the Chancellor--the Emperor--his master, Darth Sidious--he would know how Anakin had failed. Failed as a Jedi, failed as a Sith--now he wouldn’t be able to protect Padmé, to save her--and their baby--

“Anakin, stop it.” Obi-Wan’s voice was firm. “Be mindful of your feelings.”

“Mindful?” he said, glaring at Obi-Wan. “Mindful?!? All I know are my feelings!”

“And you let each and every one sweep you up, like a leaf in a river,” Obi-Wan retorted. “You must learn control if you are to heal.”

Scoffing, Anakin rose to his feet and started looking for clothes. “Heal? Heal from what--falling to the Dark Side? No one can do that. I’m gone, Obi-Wan--just let me go and I’ll--”

“What? Work at the side of the greatest evil the galaxy has ever known?” Obi-Wan asked, standing up and advancing towards him. “Never see your wife again, never meet your children? Because I guarantee, Anakin, that is your fate if you don’t listen to what I have to say.”

Anakin stared at Obi-Wan. “What?”

Folding his arms over his chest, Obi-Wan nodded to the bed. “Sit.”

As directed, Anakin sank down onto the bed, frowning. It seemed like Obi-Wan thought that Anakin could . . . come back? Not be a Sith? But that was impossible. Master Yoda always said that any action that came from the Dark Side was unforgivable, unerasable. That the stain on your soul would never go away.

It was too late for him. And Obi-Wan should be the first one to know that.

“After I defeated Darth Maul on Naboo, the Council investigated me,” Obi-Wan said, sitting back down on his stool. “To fight a Sith, to defeat one, they believed I must have touched the Dark Side.”

Anakin blinked. “You? Go to the Dark Side?”

“I appreciate your belief,” Obi-Wan said, a bit dryly, but with a smile, too. “The Council finally determined I had not. But they were very cautious during the early years of your Padawan training. You might feel like they were watching you--but they were also watching me.”

“Oh,” he said quietly.

Obi-Wan looked at him for a few long moments. Long enough that Anakin wanted to squirm. To ask questions like where was Obi-Wan going with this and did he really think Anakin could come back and why was the anger so much more bearable now?

It was still there. He could feel it, churning and burning. But he didn’t feel like lashing out at Obi-Wan. He didn’t feel that drive to leave, to find Padmé, to protect her.

Nothing made sense right now.

“What happened, Anakin?”

He shifted. “What do you mean?”

“I’d like to hear, in your own words, why you Fell,” Obi-Wan said, unfolding his crossed arms and resting his hands on his knees. “Start at the beginning.”

“The beginning?” Anakin huffed. “I have no idea where the beginning is, Obi-Wan. And--and why you’re doing this.”

“I think the answer will come to you,” Obi-Wan said. “Just start talking.”

Heaving a sigh, Anakin rubbed at his temples. “Okay. Um . . . I guess--I guess it started when Padmé told me she was pregnant.”

In slow, halting words, Anakin began talking. He doubled back, jumped ahead, ran his hands through his hair, paced, fidgeted, shifted.

He talked about the dreams he’d had. He talked about what the Chancellor told him. He talked about having a secret marriage. He talked about watching Ashoka walk away.

And he found himself telling Obi-Wan about how he had slaughtered that village of Tusken Raiders who had tortured his mother. He talked about all the times he came too close to vengeance when fighting. He talked about the anger he felt whenever Padmé was threatened.

Through it all, Obi-Wan stayed silent, just listening. Taking it all in.

When Anakin finished, reduced to a voice barely above a whisper, Obi-Wan looked at him. “I’m sorry, Anakin.”

He hung his head. Of course he was. Hearing all that, Obi-Wan must have realized there was no saving him. He would--he would have to kill him. And then he’d go back to the Council and tell them . . .

Wait. The Council. Was there a Council anymore?

Sidious wanted all the Jedi wiped out. He said some had escaped from the Temple, and Master Windu had been killed, but--but who else? Who else had died?

Died because of him, Anakin?

“Just--just do it quickly, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said. “And--and please tell Padmé I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Anakin, what are you saying?”

“You . . . you have to kill me,” he said, swallowing hard.

There was a deep sigh, and then the bed next to him shifted as Obi-Wan sat down beside him. “You have Fallen. You have committed evil acts. You have lost your way.”

There was a long pause. “But I believe I should help you find your way back, not strike you down.”

Anakin’s head jerked up and he stared at Obi-Wan. “What?”

Obi-Wan looked grave. “Anakin, the clone troopers wiped out most of the Jedi. Master Yoda was able to escape, as was I. The Temple was attacked, and it is unknown how many might have evaded the clone troopers sent to slaughter them.”

His mind reeled as he took all this in. The clone troopers, killing their Jedi? Force, he couldn’t imagine . . .

“The Emperor,” Obi-Wan said, disgust lacing his voice, “have declared the Jedi traitors. We are at the point of extinction.”

So . . . this was more about preserving the Jedi? Even though he had betrayed so much of what the Jedi Order stood for?

The confusion must have shown in his face, because Obi-Wan shook his head. “Although truly, all of that is merely my reasoning to Master Yoda to keep you alive. Which he knew. But he allowed me to take this position--that we should allow you to attempt redemption, if you choose.”

“Then what do you want, Obi-Wan? I mean, why do you even care?” Anakin asked dully.

For a long moment, there was nothing. It was like that moment before you jumped off a cliff or while you waited for a podrace to begin. You drew in a breath, waiting to exhale, waiting for release.

“I want my brother back. I want him to be happy.”

Two simple sentences. Only a few words each, spoke with such gentleness . . . but with a raging inferno of emotion behind them.

Just like the emotion sweeping over Anakin.

“So, Anakin Skywalker, do you choose redemption for your acts of evil?”

Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet and controlled. But there was so much hope in his eyes. He couldn’t let him down again.

“Yes,” Anakin said firmly.

“It will not be easy,” Obi-Wan warned.

“I want to do this,” Anakin said. “I . . . I want to have the chance to apologize to Padmé in person. And make up for what I caused, what I did.”

With a nod, Obi-Wan stood up. “We have much work to do, then. I’ll get your clothes and we can begin.”

“All right,” Anakin said, standing up as well. He stretched a little, savoring how good he felt. “Hey, this planet--Takodana--does it have some kind of weird regenerative property? I feel better than I have in years.”

“Oh, no--you’ve been asleep for a week,” Obi-Wan said as he left the room.

Anakin stared after his former master. “A week?!?”

End, Chapter 1

#anidala #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obi-wan kenobi #sheev palpatine #star wars #my fic

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padfootagain · 5 years ago

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The King And You (XI)

Part 11: What To Do Now?

Here comes the next chapter for my Caspian fic. After the last chapter, I felt like I had to update this story again, because we left our lovebirds… hmm hmm, well, you know where we left them, and it was cute af!!

I hope you like this new chapter. This is a bit… emotional, so get ready! Took a bit of inspiration from the Korean show Crash Landing on you for the end of this chapter.

Word Count: 4358

It had been hours, and Caspian could still not believe it.

He stared at the ceiling in his room, his eyes barely discerning any detail in the dark. The lamppost outside shed a yellowish light in the room, piercing through the white curtains, that made almost no effect on chasing the dark away.

You had kissed him.

Or… perhaps he had kissed you? He wasn't sure who it was who actually made the first step, it had no real importance, he reckoned. All that mattered was that… the two of you had kissed.

He played for what seemed to be the thousandth time the scene in his head. The lights on the rooftop, the music, how you danced together… he smiled at the thought of how clumsy you were at first.

But then he saw your joined hands again, and how the lights played in your eyes and…

And then the kiss…

By Aslan's name, he didn't know that something so wonderful could exist.

What was to happen now though?

You had barely ended the kiss, had just a few seconds to stare at each other, before a pair of drunk men would burst out of the building and onto the rooftop. You had gone home soon after, and none of you had dared raise the question that was on your tongues.

What to do now?

He closed his eyes, tighter and tighter as the thoughts formed in his mind.

He had to go. What now? He thought the question as if there were several answers possible. But there weren't. There was only one thing to do, because no matter how he felt, no matter how you felt, he was King. A vow he had taken and would never break. He repeated the pledge in his silence, his lips moving to let out no sound.

He would do anything for his people, sacrifice whatever needed to be sacrificed.

He had to go back to Narnia and leave you behind.

When he opened his eyes again, there were tiny white spots dancing before him.

What to do now?

Now, he had to let you go, before things could get worse.

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One last day.

That was what he had decided. He would spend one last day with you, and never see you again. He couldn't take the risk of hurting you by letting you imagine that he could stay. He knew, despite your interest for his stories, that deep down, you still didn't fully believe that Narnia was real. How could you see then that when he would cross the door back to his realm, it would be to never return.

Before, he thought he would take every moment he could with you. Cherish them to live the rest of his life. But things had changed with that kiss, and he couldn't take the risk to have you feeling for him the kind of feelings he had for you.

It wouldn't be fair of him to let you fall like he had fallen. You didn't know how this would end. But he did. He couldn't take the risk.

He would have less memories to carry with him back home, but it was okay. He had kissed you once, that was the best memory he would ever remember.

He spent the rest of the night deciding how to tell you about this. Maybe you would tell him it was a mistake, and he wouldn't have to go through it all, and a part of him longed for this to happen. You had been drinking a little, and even if he didn't believe you were drunk, maybe it was enough to blur your judgement. You would apologize. Tell him it was a mistake and it would be better if you just forgot what had happened, and remained friends. Would he take the risk to see you again then? No, or at least not the way he did now. Only with Agatha. He had but a few days left to spend in New York, so it didn't really matter anyway… or at least, that was the thought he was trying to fool himself at believing into.

His thoughts went on throughout morning too, and Agatha obviously noticed his strange behaviour. He was too quiet, too distant, too sad. After a couple of hours, she couldn't help but ask.

"Caspian, what's wrong with you this morning?"

He shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Now, after all that we are doing together, I reckon you can at least tell me the truth. You owe me that much."

He opened his mouth to try to argue his way out of the conversation, but he couldn't. She was right. He owed it to her.

He heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry, you are right."

"I know I'm right, now, tell me everything."

She sat beside him on the couch, with a cup of warm tea in her hand, eager to hear what could possibly be such an issue in the King's life now.

Caspian took a deep breath, but didn't know how to tell her what had happened between you and him.

"You… you must promise me to not tell anyone," he asked Agatha, who gave him her word without a hesitation.

After another quiet moment, Caspian finally gathered his courage.

"I… Last night, Y/N and I went to her friend's birthday party and… something… happened…"

Agatha's eyes narrowed, but a smile was already creeping up her lips.

"Something? What do you mean? Between… you and Y/N?"

Caspian struggled to swallow, but nodded.

Agatha let out an excited cry.

"What happened? Tell me everything."

But before Caspian's puzzled expression, she calmed down.

"It is not a good thing, Agatha," Caspian clarified. "We are leaving for London in a few days, and if everything goes as planned, I will never come back to this world. We… we can never be together. This kiss was a mistake. It has to be. Because I can't stay here. Sooner or later, I'll have to leave, and there is nothing I can do about it. The doorways are not easy to find, and too much of a risk anyway. I will not come back. I… it's better if we simply… accept it and do not try to… make it more difficult than what it needs to be."

Agatha slowly nodded.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I… I'm going to tell her that this was a mistake, and that we should part now."

"So… you're going to break the poor thing's heart."

"On the contrary, I am protecting her."

"Protecting her? Really?"

"Of course. Before she might… feel… before she starts caring for me."

Agatha shook her head this time.

"My dear… after all the time she has spent with you, and everything she has done for you, don't you think that she cares already?"

"But as a friend, not as… more."

"You should talk about it with her."

"That's what I am planning on doing."

"I mean talk with her, not announce her your decision."

"But Agatha, there is no other solution. Nothing to discuss, really. I have to leave, and we will never see each other again."

"Have you thought about her possibly wanting to leave?"

But Caspian shook his head frantically, and a colder expression settled on his features.

"Her life is here. She cannot leave. Just like my life is in Narnia, and I cannot stay."

"Are you leaving because your life is there, or because you have people depending on you there?"

"Both."

He seemed to believe in his answer, and so she chose to change her argument.

"You cannot take a decision in her stead."

"I am taking my end of the decision."

"But for the wrong reason. Maybe, even though you will leave, she would prefer to spend as much time with you as she can. Have you thought about that?"

Caspian didn't answer.

"Of course, you have. Are you sure who you are doing this for? Is it to protect her, or yourself?"

"Both of us, I guess. It'll be easier when I leave."

"The easy path is rarely the right one. You're probably right, it might give both of you less pain to part if you choose to stop everything now. But what about the happiness you would have found by embracing every single moment you could get? What about these memories you will get to hold onto? Take it from an old lady, who has her fair share of regrets. All the moments I would change, if I could, wouldn't be about money, about choosing another path. It would be to spend more time with the people I can't see anymore. These are my regrets. Not seizing the occasion to love them more. To spend more time with the people who made me happy. And you will find out that, after a while, when you lose someone you love dearly, you remember the good times more than the pain, and these make it all worthwhile. Always."

The King took a moment to weight Agatha's words. He looked in his heart to see if she was right. He thought about the Pevensies. About all the friends he had lost along the years.

First, he remembered their faces, and their laughs.

Then, he remembered the good moments. The Pevensies bickering. Edmund beating him at chess. Peter and him talking about Narnia. Susan showing off her skills at archery. Lucy running on the beach and laughing. Eustace's stupid talks with Reepicheep…

Indeed, he had to go much, much deeper to see the bad times. And if he felt sad at the thought that he would not see them again, he found out that he wouldn't have done anything differently. His memories were worth the pain of missing them.

Maybe Agatha was right…

"It's not only your choice to make. She has her say in this too. And you can't decide for her. You don't know how she feels. Or has she told you?"

Caspian shook his head.

"Then ask her. Ask her what she wants. Tell her the risks. Tell her how it will end. And if she still wants to stay by your side until you have to leave, then you have no rights to dismiss her."

"What if I don't want to have her by my side until this is over?"

But Agatha gave her a look that showed him that she was not to be fooled.

"We both know that it is not what your heart longs for. You wouldn’t be sitting on this couch looking so miserable if it were."

Agatha got up to put her teacup in the kitchen, and Caspian focused on the outside world instead. It was raining, and the water clung to the windowsill.

But Caspian shook his head. No, it wasn't the wisest thing to do. He had… he had to protect you, whatever the cost. He would not let you get heartbroken because of him. He would not let you ache the way he did. He would not let you suffer the way he knew he would when he would leave.

No, he had to stop it all. And he had to do it today.

He would spend one afternoon with you, and then it would be time for him to wake up from the sweet dream he had made for the two of you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You went to Central Park again, and simply walked through the park. The weather was cold but sunny, blue sky above orange leaves and bare branches replacing the clouds of the morning. There were so many skeleton leaves all around that some of the ponds seemed to have disappeared altogether, hidden under the dead foliage.

Children were feeding ducks a few meters away, you were walking in silence down the main path, the rain from the morning having turned the grass into muddy grounds.

You had tried to delay the inevitable question for as long as you could, but knew you needed to bring it up now. Caspian hadn't mentioned your kiss either, maybe he was waiting for you just like you were waiting for him. But there was something different about him too. Something… that made him look sad.

A part of you wanted to wait to see if he would eventually bring it up, but you decided that the game had lasted long enough.

"Caspian?"

He turned to you, humming to let you know that he was paying attention to your words.

"About last night…"

You studied his reaction, but you couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

"About… what happened on the rooftop…" you went on. "I… I reckon we should talk about it."

Caspian slowly nodded, his steps slowing down without him noticing.

"Of course. I… I do think we should talk about it as well."

You struggled to swallow the lump in your throat. He was acting strangely cautious and cold. But maybe it was simply because he wasn't sure of what you were about to say. A simple defence mechanism?

"I… what do you think we should do about it?"

He had to say it. He had spent the night and most of his morning thinking about what he had to say, and it was the right thing to do.

"I think we should forget about it."

Caspian's voice was firm and certain, a perfect opposite to the way his heart was breaking behind the protection of his ribcage, words reaching the beating organ like flights of arrows breaking through an armour.

He noticed the way you clenched your jaw, how your head bent a little more towards the ground.

"Okay," was all you could muster the strength to breath out.

"I am but a passing dream, Y/N. Soon, I'll be gone. It's better to remain friends. Don't you agree?"

You nodded.

"Wise words," you replied in a bitter tone.

"Last night was… surreal," Caspian went on, feeling the need to fill up any silence that could settle between the two of you. Silence would let his pain scream way too loudly for him to handle, so he chased it away instead. "The music, and the dance… we got carried away by the scenery. And… you were intoxicated…"

"I had one drink, I wasn't even tipsy," you replied with some outrage in your tone, looking up at him again. "Besides, if I remember well, you were kissing me just as much as I was kissing you!"

"That… is not what I meant…"

"What do you mean, then?"

"Simply that… last night was… a particular atmosphere. And that on other circumstances, things would have been different, and this kiss wouldn't have happened. Do you deny that? That you would have never wanted to kiss me in any other circumstances?"

"I don't deny that last night was… a moment. Doesn't mean that I didn't know what I was doing."

"Y/N… You wouldn't have acted this way under any other circumstances."

"What about you?"

He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you say that if I had not been… shaken by my surroundings last night, I would have never wanted to kiss you. But what about you? Would you ever want me to kiss me without the dancing and the music and the lights from last night? Or are you talking about yourself not wanting me? Because I reckon that you talk a lot about how I feel and how I would act when, last time I checked, you had no access to my thoughts at all. So? What about you?"

If he were to be honest, he would have answered that the scenery had simply given the push to actually take the first step. He would have told you that he was dreaming about you every night. He would have told you that he wished he could kiss you now. He would have told you that he had stayed awake at night imagining what your lips would feel like against his.

But if he said these words he meant, it would make things more difficult. And he knew what he had to do. It was easier to lie. Easier to pretend that last night was nothing when it meant everything. He had promised you to tell you the truth once, and it was not one of his habits to break a vow, but this time, he would have to make an exception.

Because he couldn't let you hurt the way he was getting shattered now.

"It's just a dream, Y/N. It was a mistake. We are just friends, nothing more. And if yesterday was a moment… then that is all it was. A moment. And the moment passed. Reality is thriving again, and in reality, this kiss was a mistake we ought to make only once."

He fell silent. He felt exhausted. He knew that the second he would be alone, he would fall to his knees and cry all the tears his body could form. But he wasn't alone for now, you were standing there, motionless by his side, staring at him, and he had to keep his mask on for now.

And he did.

He looked calm and cold and distant, and it was hurting you so much…

Because after the previous night, there was no doubt left in your mind.

You were in love with him.

You always had been. And maybe that was why you couldn't stay away for long despite all the warning signs. Maybe that was why he made you happier than you had ever been. Maybe that was why your world was brighter now that he was in it.

But clearly, he didn't feel the same, and if you had thought before that your heart had been broken, it seemed that he was proving you wrong.

You wanted to fight back. Say something mean. Something that would hurt. Or perhaps you could agree. Hide that you were in pain. Hide that he was breaking your heart. Instead, you could nod and tell him that he was right, that this kiss didn't mean anything to you either anyway, that you didn't care, that you ought to move on indeed. You would be just friends, and that would be all. You didn't care. Would never care for him that way.

But there were lies too big to pass your throat, and this one was, without a doubt, the biggest lie you had ever wished to speak. And you couldn't say it.

Instead, tears blurred Caspian's features stinging and sour, and you looked away to hide them.

You tried to speak, but couldn't. You managed to force your head to move into a nod, and that was about all that you could muster for now. You wanted to run away, so you started to walk again.

And Caspian didn't understand.

Because of course, he saw that you were starting to cry. And he couldn't understand, because you weren't supposed to be crying. Maybe you would be a little disappointed? Even that reaction, he wasn't expecting. No, it was all going wrong. Why were you leaving now?

He didn't mean to hurt you. He never did. He was protecting you, that was what he was doing… right?

He thought again of Agatha's words, and maybe… maybe she was right…

"Y/N!"

But you didn't stop, you kept on walking, going faster even.

"Y/N, wait!"

He ran after you, taking your arm in a gentle and yet firm hold to force you to turn to him.

When he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

He was hurting you. You were crying because of him… That was not what he wanted.

"I… don't cry," he let out in a trembling voice, all piece of armour or masquerade broken, and when you looked up to look into his dark brown eyes, you could see nothing but worry and pain in these irises you adored. "Don't cry, please. I'm sorry. Don't be sad. I… I don't want you to be sad, I'm sorry."

You shook your head. You wanted to be strong, and stubborn, and proud, and you wanted to get a clever remark out. But you were crying already, revealing your heart on a silver platter, so what was the point in playing it tough when you were one the verge of breaking altogether?

"It's okay. I just… I guess I just hoped for you to feel… a certain way, and you don't. But that's okay. I can't force you to feel like that."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay."

"No, no it's not okay. Please, I'm begging you, stop crying."

His large, calloused hands came to gently cup your face, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. His touch was so soothing, you soon calmed down.

"I'll be fine, Caspian."

But he wasn't blind. It was written all over your features that you would not be fine. The damage was already done. He had made you suffer, and he hated himself for that.

Agatha's words came ringing in his ears once more, and maybe she was right. Maybe you cared about him already. He couldn't imagine that you loved him the way he loved you, but maybe you cared enough to be hurt by him all the same. Perhaps Agatha was right, and it wasn't fair of him to not give you the chance to choose what you wanted to do next.

If he could, he would seize all the moments he had the chance to share with you. And maybe you would want to do the same, after all.

That wasn't fair to lie then, was it? Besides, you were crying again, eyes reddened and puffy already, and by Aslan's name, Caspian had never hated himself as much as he did now, for being the cause behind your tears.

"I lied."

He struggled to swallow while your eyes were suddenly full of hope. He didn't notice that his eyes too were filling up with tears before he felt them wetting his eyelashes.

"I… I'm sorry," he went on, voice unsure and low. "But… I'll be leaving soon, and I thought… I thought you didn't mean it, and then it would have been so much easier to just act like it had never happened. I didn't want you to care about me the way I care about you. Because it… it hurts then to know that I'm going to leave. It hurts to know that this won't last, and I thought… I thought I could save you from that pain, and I… I'm sorry. Please, don't cry. Don't cry. I can't see you cry. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you so badly…"

His voice broke, and he let out a shaky sigh, trying to muster the strength to go on. But speaking his heart was so hard. He felt so fragile now. As if he were handing you his soul and heart… but then, that was exactly what he was doing.

"I'm sorry. I… I wish there would be another way, but there isn't. I have to leave. And I didn't want you to miss me the way that I'm going to miss you. I wanted you to forget all about me as soon as I would be out of your life. I don’t want you to think about me. I don't want you to miss me. I… I want you to be able to do what I won't be capable of. I want you to live without me and be happy. When I… I won't be able to do that now. It's too late for me. I won't forget you. I will never forget you. And when I think about what happiness means, it is your name I will speak. I… I shouldn't have said all that… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, please, don't cry. Don't cry…"

Before he could let out another sound, you were leaning to press your lips to his. And he was surprised, and it took him a few seconds to kiss you back, but he did. He let his fingers slide to rest in your hair, and you held on his long black coat like it was a safe line.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and resting your forehead against his, your voice was hoarse as you spoke again.

"I think it's too late for me too, to be fair. And what if… what if I really don't want to forget you? What if I don't want to forget anything about you?"

He let out a shaky breath, and closed his eyes tighter to stop himself from crying.

"I have to leave. This can't work."

"But for now, you're here. Can't it be enough for now?"

"I don't want you to be hurt because of me."

"I'm going to England with you."

He finally moved his head back to look at you.

"What?"

"I'm going with you," you repeated. "Agatha has already bought the tickets and planned everything for me to come as well. I'll go with you there."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. For now, I want to be with you, and that's enough for me. What do you want?"

He didn't answer, hesitating.

What he wanted more than anything, he knew he could never keep…

"Forget about Narnia for a second. Because you're not in Narnia right now. Just… what do you want, now? Because I want to go to London with you. I know what I want. I understand what you're saying. I understand you're going to leave. And I want to help, I want to stay with you, for as long as you'll be here. What about you? Don't you want me to stay with you?"

And as he looked into your eyes, he knew then, that Agatha was right.

It was your life, your heart, your choice. And maybe it would just make things worth to lie now. So, he didn't.

Instead, he pressed his lips to yours again, and you remained there, under falling red leaves, for an awfully long time that seemed too short still.

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Tag list : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony

@geeksareunique @giggleberts @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @wearetalkingtoyou @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse @cutie-bug @purplocity @rockintensse @newtstarmander @shinebrightlikeafanbase

@millionsleeplessnights @goldenor5 @raquelbc2003 @marvelcapsicle @carolinesbookworld @roses-in-your-country-house @mcrmarvelloki

#Caspian #Caspian X #caspian x reader #caspian fanfic #caspian imagine #King Caspian #narnia #narnia fanfiction #narnia imagine #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine

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ariella884 · 5 years ago

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Voyager Book Club - February Favorite Fics

So I put forth a challenge of sorts to our Voyager Book Club. I asked everyone to pick ONE Voyager fic that they consider to be their favorite. Now, you can imagine, this is pretty freaking hard! There are so many incredible fics out there. I didn’t say it had to be the best written, or the most in character. I gave examples such as: the one you read over and over or your go-to fic, however you want to phrase it. It was pointed out that a favorite fic can change every hour based on your frame of mind and what you are in the mood to read at any one moment. I get it. Even so....I challenged everyone to only pick ONE. And they did it! Or most of them! I got around 20 different favorites picked! So here is the list of our Favorite Voyager Fics, why they were chosen and by whom. Happy Reading!!

Note: Click on the name of the fic for a link to it! Also, this list is in no particular order.

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@curator-on-ao3: ‘Fragile Things’ by @mia-cooper

“Fanfic is about exploring possibilities. That’s what put this fic over the top to be my favorite. In Fragile Things, MiaCooper examines multiple versions of one relationship, pulling different threads to see how things unravel or knit together. It’s thoughtful, it’s meta, it’s realistic as hell, it’s damn good writing — it’s MiaCooper and it’s excellent.”

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@ariella884(yep, that’s me!): ‘2013′ by PCBW (@pcbw)

“I had a hard time choosing my favorite (like most people here), mostly because as i was gathering them all from everyone else I kept seeing ones and going, ‘Oh! I love that one!’. I also didn’t want to have any duplicates so I had to change mine a couple times, that being said, 2013 is easily one of my top three (which of themselves is almost impossible to pick just one. I’m lucky that my other two were chosen already and I didn’t have to!). I love 2013 because it is a modern AU, without being a completely modern AU. No, that doesn’t make sense. But you get our Janeway and Chakotay, Starfleet officers and all, and you get them in the modern world. It’s incredible! We see the challenges they go through of being taken from everything they know and put into a world that is pretty much unknown to them. Add to that the personal differences they have to work out together. Splash in the normal challenges that we all go through when trying to live a life in this day and age (jobs, house, money, love, family, etc). This is just an incredibly beautiful story that I have read many times and will continue to read over and over. It’s also a long fic and those are my favorite because I like to get completely involved in stories!”

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@mia-cooper: ‘Deceiving’ by QuantumSilver

“Because it starts with a canon event that is absolutely devastating and shows just how devastated Janeway and Chakotay are by it (and Tuvok and Ayala as well, though they only make a brief appearance). It shows Janeway at her absolute best - every last inch the captain, going above and beyond for her crew not just physically but emotionally in spite of the absolutely gut-wrenching cost to her - and it really kicks off with one of my absolute favourite tropes: mutual pining to the Nth Fucking Degree.

It has Chakotay being every bit the commander, backing her up even though he's dying inside, and REFUSING to let her shut herself away even though he KNOWS she's going to want to murder him for pushing and pushing and pushing at her.

And then OH MY GOD, he's deliberately getting on her every last nerve just so he can wrench honesty from her because he knows if she doesn't tell him how badly he's hurt her, how she's absolutely bottomed out because of him, she will never open up to him or anyone else again.

AND THEY DRINK WHISKEY OMG GIVE ME KJ AND C UTTERLY MISERABLE AND DRINKING WHISKEY LIKE IT'S WATER AND PINING LIKE FUCK AND NOT SAYING A WORD BUT BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM THE HEART AND I WILL DIE HAPPY FOREVERRRRRRR

I'm sorry for yelling but this fic makes me want to rip off my clothes and run up and down the street screeching how everybody should read it and they are just BRUTAL with each other and they STILL do not understand, refuse to, CANNOT understand, that the other would not just die for them but MURDER WHOLE FUCKING ARMIES FOR THEM and it's tragic and devastating but then oH MY GOoOoOODDDDD

So that is my favourite fic and the one i read approximately every two months or more if i really hate my writing that day and want to torture myself with How It Should Be Done.”

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@bizships: ‘Fealty’ by MsDisdain

“My favorite story. I honestly don’t have to think about it. It’s one I always go back to.

I love the way the crew pledges their loyalty to her and the way subtle way they tell her that it’s okay that she’s happy too in that they effectively give her Chakotay for her birthday, by way of him “fighting” Tuvok(Starfleet) for her hand.”

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@arcadia1995: ‘The Space Between’ by lauawill ( @joyful-voyager)

“The Space Between is a story I return to time and time again when I'm feeling down. I like that it realistically portrays what might have happened between Janeway and Chakotay right after the returned home in Endgame. I like that no one in the J/C/7 triangle ends up being a bad guy. I like the hopeful ending and imaging what might have happened after the fade to black (lots of sex!!!)“

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@wishful-thinker-87 : ‘if you came this way’ by tree

“It’s always a go to for me, even though I don’t usually like AUs. The sex is intense and emotional. The characterization is pot on. And we get Phoebe being an awesome sister and some Chakotay/Molly bonding too. What’s not to love?!”

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BlackVelvet: ‘Bluffing the Crowd’ by @ralkana

“Even after years since i read this, just thinking about this story brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart and a huge silly grin to my face. I simply love it.”

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@purpledog47: ‘The Future is Ours’ by Dawn

“My favorite is most definitely Dawn’s ‘The Future is Ours. This is my one fic. It’s super long and it tells us what happened after Endgame and it has a little bit of everything in it: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, Q, babyfic, romance.”

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@amoderngirl: ‘Time and Distance’ by northernexposure

“If I am ever loosing the thread with J/C, I can always read this and I am immediately in love again.”

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@coffeeblack75: ‘Soft Light’ by northernexposure

“There are so many reasons why I love it that I can't even, haha. I'll start with: it was the first piece of fanfic smut I read, so I love it for that reason - my first time haha. More importantly, it is just beautifully, beautifully written - it's plotted beautifully, it flows beautifully and the pacing is spot on. The author has complete control over all of that & over the language, which is just used masterfully. There's so much subtley going on in this story too - the author doesn't spell everything out for us and instead draws us to the details that reveal what is important - the beginnings of these two getting to know each other. Gosh, it's so hard to articulate haha! But lines like this just make me shiver in delight for their beauty and what they reveal: "he was kissing her, with a lot more sweetness than was wise. Ah god, I could go on and on but perhaps I'll finish with my favourite bit, which is when C feels that first stab of lust & realises she might too & tests his theory by blowing softly on the back of her neck. This moment, omg, the moment is just so beautiful, so quiet, so pointed and private and intimate. You really feel that moment as if you are there. Ahhhhh :)

Also….there are two sequels to it that are equally as wonderful ;)

Oh and one more thing I adore about this story is the way that the C thinks he is lusting after KJ but it is quite obvious he loves her - even before they come together - but he hasn’t realized it yet. The way the author does this is just incredible - so deft! Everything for C is about taking care of KJ … it’s just beautiful.”

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@caladeniablue: ‘Lifeline’ by helenagray ( @picking-daisies-in-the-outfield)

“Why do I like that fic? An unfinished WIP at that (Started in 2013; last update in Jan 2019. No indication how many chapters to go.) The perfect serial story and that's part of the attraction for me.

The first chapter sets the scene: raw Janeway, alone, without the backup of her ship, her crew or Chakotay. Bare of essentials and with only her courage and intelligence and sheer determination to help her survive, and even she wonders how long those will last her.

And while we learn about Chakotay and how he seeks her while the crew has to move on, I am drawn to Janeway most of all.

The fic jumps back and forth across locations and in time from that first chapter to catch up with it again some 20 chapters later, but there is no jarring. The reader knows immediately what KJ is experiencing , but the past events that led to that situation are as important, and that's one of the many attractions of this story. No overlong flashbacks, no tedious info dump. It's all layered, making one wait for the next chapter and the next one, while knowing all the time where KJ has ended up.

The writing is gorgeous, which is a bonus. And it is pure J/C, distilled to its purest by separation. Perfect.”

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@keiraniels: ‘Bad Ensign’ (Series) by @curator-on-ao3

“Ok so I chose Curator’s ‘Bad Ensign’ because I come back to it often - - it’s such a freaking brilliant idea that I can 100% imagine being canon, and it inspired so many Voyager Bookclubbers to write Bad Ensign stories”

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@cnrothtrek: ‘War Torn’ by @curator-on-ao3

“Why? I had the pleasure of beta reading this story, and I am so glad that I did. It has a great plot, is well-written and perfectly paced, and is hard to put down. The way it pulls together two pieces of canon backstories for Miles O’Brien and Kathryn Janeway is genius. The characters feel so real and their voices can be clearly heard in the text. And the supporting characters of Captain Benjamin Maxwell, Will “Stompie” Kayden, and Molly Walsh are incredible. The story is intense, absorbing, and emotional. I just can’t say enough good things about it.”

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@theshortywrites: ‘The Dragonfly Oath’ by Koneia

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@emmikamikatze: ‘All the Good Things We Never Did’ by northernexposure

“This story brings me to tears, makes me smile and shiver and fear and worry. It's given me phrases that won't leave me, that keep repeating itself in my head even months (years) after first reading it. There's just the right amount of show trivia to make it a fanfiction, but little enough to make it a unique and original story. ne makes me fall in love with these characters all over again as if I didn't know them beforehand.

This story is special and precious and it speaks to me on so many levels I can hardly comprehend how genius it is. It's a literary masterpiece of fanfic if there ever was one.”

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@missmil: ‘Here I Stand’ by lauawill

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@manalyzer13: ‘Gravitation’ by northernexposure

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@grace-among-the-stars: ‘Filling the Void’ by Spiletta42

“Filling the Void is the one fic I always return to. It has my fave ships, JC, PT and D7. Minor characters play major parts and it is just funny. It makes me laugh every time.

JC’s relationship is really explored from all angles, this is not just your average, ‘the crew get them together fics’, it is so much more. It has sexual tension, smut, humour, sadness and is pure JC BLISS. It always cheers me up and I was so happy when Spiletta42 added it to Ao3 because this meant so many more people would find it.”

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Anonymous: ‘Bent, Not Broken’ by @killermanatee

“This is an incredible hurt/comfort Janeway/Chakotay fic. The story is painfully written from both characters' perspectives, showing how each is suffering in a different way from the traumatic event that has occurred. In the end, their love for each other will help them come together and they will both be able to heal with time, comfort, and support from one another. This is a beautifully told, emotionally heavy story of one couple's love overcoming tragedy. It is my favorite Janeway/Chakotay fic, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a heartbreaking yet fulfilling story.”

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@minakotenjou: ‘Mysterious and Curious’ by @h4t08

“It was so hard to choose - there are a lot of incredible fanfics out there. This was one of the first...shall we say spicier J/C fics I read and for some reason I still think of it often. It's great smut for sure, but I think it stuck with me because of how it all gets tied together at the end.”

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@leisylaura: ‘The Bitter End’ by @mia-cooper

“We have post endgame books but not one about the original timeline, I remember reading “The bitter end” and thinking “this is it, this is what happened”. I cried from beginning to end.”

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@killermanatee: ‘The Dying of the Light’ by @cnrothtrek

"This fic is such a gorgeous piece of art. I hadn't seen the TNG episode before reading it and when I did watch it I was very disappointed because this fic is just on such a completely different level. The storytelling is so delicate and intriguing, that combined with the poignant and elegant writing style, so that it was impossible to put my phone down. I can't recommend this fic highly enough."

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@cheile: ‘Marooned’ by Soliquilii9 (aka Running Horse)

“I love how she makes the story unfold in slow steady measures. Also, she filled in the gaps left by the writers in regards to his heritage by using information from her own Cherokee background and it is done naturally (not in an info dump type manner). “

__________

What do you think of our list of Voyager favorites? Do you have a favorite that isn’t on this list? Reply to this post with your favorite!! And if you haven’t read ALL of these fics yet, I strongly suggest you get started!! Have fun and enjoy!!

#voyager #star trek voyager #voyager fic #voyager book club #Voyager Favorite Fics

218 notes · View notes

gucciwins · 5 years ago

Text

Redemption

Harry is a fool and Y/N has a strong punch

Word count: 6586

A/N: Happy Halloween! (early/belated who knows when you’re reading) I love this month and I am very happy to share this with you. It was a true struggle to find time to write but here she is. AU’s are fun to explore so here is Frat! Harry. Please let me know what you think!

Hope you enjoy !

> > > > >

October 31st

Looking in the mirror, the only thing you can do is smile. The black lipstick looks foreign on your usual plain lips but you are proud in saying it looks nice on you. The dark eye shadow makes your eyes look a bit darker adding to the aura of the outfit you have. It all seems to fit together well. You here all the ruckus down stairs and know you don’t have much time left. You grab your flowery credit card holder and slip it into the front of your pants because if the worst were to ever happen at least you would have identification on you.

You hear Nick and Carmen arguing over who was the best dressed. Nick was saying how it was him because he looked good with a red bandanna tied around his neck. Carmen response to him was that at least she was able to rock a safari hat. You didn’t want to hear any more arguing so you finally let your room.

“The pumpkin queen finally decided to grace us with her presence.” Nick yells with a big grin.

“It’s King still, doesn’t change just because I’m a woman.” You responded to him.

You looked down at your costume and were damn proud of it. The items were not at all easy to find but damn were you grateful you did. The white and black striped pants made your legs appear much longer and not to brag made your ass look real nice. Guess, the squat workout Nick makes you do does work. You got a white button up shirt tucked into your pants and it is covered by the matching blazer with two white buttons. It fits you perfect, well at least now it does after Carmen was kind enough to get her younger sister to do it for you. At no cost, but that didn’t seem fair to you so you gave her a thirty dollar gift card to Starbucks because that is what Annie seemed to live by. Your favorite piece that you were happy you were able to make was the beautiful bow tie. The famous bat bow ties fits perfectly and the long wings make it look even more elegant. A true Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington would be proud. Carmen even let you borrow her black ankle heeled boots and honestly you’re not sure your friend will see them again.

You give them a nice twirl making sure to strike a dramatic pose as you stop. It makes them laugh which makes you laugh as well. You look over at your two friends and honestly can’t decide who looks better and they both can see that.

“You’re really going to tell us, we both look equally hot.” Carmen whines not even caring what you want to say.

Nick interrupts before you even have a chance to answer. “Obviously, it’s me. I have always been the favorite.”

Your best friends have decided to dress up as Dr. Alan Grant, the most famous paleontologist to ever exist or so they like to say but only in the world of Jurassic Park. The blue wrangler long sleeve shirt is folded to their elbows, both wear loose fitting khakis. They both wear light brown timberland boots that they both somehow already owned. Aviator sunglasses hanging from their shirt adding a sexy element to the look. An old watch is found on Carmen’s left wrist but none is to be seen on Nick. Nick has the leather dress belt and that is what Carmen is missing. Red bandannas on as well as their safari’s hat and if you really had to choose it would be Nick because you like to think the belt complete the look.

“Where’s the belt?” You question.

Both look down immediately and Carmen is the one who lets out a small curse word you couldn’t quite make out. Carmen storms off into her room but is back in seconds now with a secured belt.

“The good thing is that this isn’t as contest so there is no winner but if there was it would be me for originality.”

You pick up your keys from the cat shaped bowl by the door and finally walk out of the apartment.

“You’re a bitch” Nick yells full of fake anger.

“You don’t even look good.” Carmen yells but you all know that’s a lie.

“I swear I’ll leave you both.” You threaten as the elevator door closes behind you. As you begin to descend you hear the grumbling as they rush down the stairs to meet you.

> > > > >

Sigma Pi

The big name of the fraternity stared down at you as you make your way to the front door. This was one of the nicer known ones but just as everyone it holds its own reputation. The president is a friend of yours, Mitch Rowland. You had him for a psychology class and got paired to work together. He’s a quiet guy but well respected. He’s big on giving back to the university as well as the community. These guys have to do a minimum of twenty hours of community service a month which says a lot seeing as you’ve never seen any of the others do that. Mitch runs a tight ship but the same cannot be said about their vice president.

Harry Styles, known player who takes girls on dates only to never call them back. He is the one to organize these big parties but also an Orientation leader. The first time you met Harry he was a sweetheart not one to fit into to frats, you would have gone on a date with him if only the second time you met him didn’t ruin that.

It was the start of the year party and Nick dragged you along because he was thinking of pledging. You let yourself get wrapped up in that mess. At the party you spotted Harry and wanted to make your way over to him but stopped when you saw him with his tongue down a girls throat. You turned away and thought to approach him later except every time you saw him after he was kissing a new girl. As the night came to a close it was announced by their then president that Harry has passed his initiation by successfully kissing twenty different girls. Everyone cheered, but what surprised you was that each girl that kissed Harry was just as proud. Just you were leaving when Harry found you and asked you if you wanted to be lucky 21. Your response to this day cracked up your two friends. You told him, “Eat shit Harold, I don’t do sloppy seconds or in your case sloppy twenty.”

Carter was a terrible president and it did not surprise you when the fraternity got better with Mitch in charge in fact it is a big reason you started going to their parties more but it also reintroduced you to Harry.

As you entered the house your eyes spotted one to many angles and devils. It’s really funny because each person you saw the costume just seemed to be getting shorter and shorter. Although as your eyes scanned the room you eyes caught sight of Sarah and Mitch who were dressed as Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega paying tribute to Sarah’s favorite film Pulp Fiction. Mitch caught your eye and you gave them a big smile and two thumbs up. He raised his red cup as a thank you.

Carmen left your side as soon as you entered when she heard the shitty music that was being played. She always made playlists for them and got mad because they never asked her to DJ when they all know she saves their party each time. Within seconds the dance floor was full and all the grinding started which opened up a pathway to the kitchen. Nick left to go chat with a friend he saw sitting alone.

You had to admit the decoration they had around the house was real nice. The stairs had bat stickers big and small looking as if they were going up. Then on the handrail orange lights were wrapped around. The couch had a white drape with red hand prints that made it look like blood which you thought was a smart idea. As you stood in the entryway of the kitchen leaf garland was hanging down and it looked very pretty. You wanted to take a picture with it behind you. Maybe later when you were with one of your friends who was able to take the picture.

As you are serving yourself a drink some behind you calls out your name. You turn to the backdoor and there looking as handsome as ever is Harry. Gosh, that man always manages to look good without effort but you can tell today he did.

“Where’s Sparky?” Harry questions you.

You sigh hopping he is just messing with you. “His name is Zero, thought a film snob would know that.”

“Now, now just because I’m a double major doesn’t mean I should be seen as only one of them.” He lectures you.

“Sure Harry, we would love to hear you brag about English and Film but save it for another time.” Adam says as he puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry finally looks away and you take that as your cue to leave.

“Hey wait, so where is Zero?” He pauses not wanting to make this weird. “You’re a perfectionist you wouldn’t go out with an incomplete outfit.”

“Don’t worry your pretty head, Zero is safe and very much present.”

Harry nods and begins looking around hoping to find the person.

“Don’t waste your time searching you’ll find him only if I want you to.” With that you send him a wink and leaving Harry desperate for more conversation with you.

Little while later you’re leaning against the wall arms crossed defensively in hopes no one will approach you to bad some people don’t know how to read body language. Harry slides up right next to you. Right shoulder resting on the wall so he is able to have all eyes on you.

“Hi Pumpkin!” He shouts due to the music being a bit loud.

You shoot him a grin hoping it will get him to stop talking because truth is as much as you may act like you don’t like Harry it is the complete opposite you know it and so does Harry. You just never know how he feels, which is a big reason on why you never take his advances seriously. Although, he does go the extra mile to seek you out at events or even when running into you around campus. Who knows, today may be the day.

You hope it will be with Harry dressed looking like that is making you feel too many emotions. One’s that make you want to explore everything with him. You turn to face him but that is when one of Harry’s frat brother comes up to him to discuss something which allows you to check him out shamelessly. He’s wearing a blue sheer sparking top only buttoned half way exposing his beautiful butterfly tattoo you want to ask him about. But what captures your attention are the two swallows resting on his collarbone with a cross necklace sitting perfectly in the center. It’s no lie that Harry has always been attractive but is seems that this summer Harry worked on getting bigger because he looks broad and it’s making you sweat. The matching suspenders are a nice touch to his look but the matching wide leg trousers make his butt look bigger and juicier than before. You really needed to ask Harry for his squat routine because obviously it was working better than Nick’s.

Harry has felt you checking him out for the past few minutes but didn’t want to embarrass you in case you left running from him all over again which is why he dragged his conversation with the freshman. He’s finally able to turn all his attention back to you and he smiles when he sees you eyeing his untamed hair.

“I see you like my costume.” He smirks.

You decide not to answer and look away from Harry.

“Oh come on pumpkin, I’m Jack Dawson.” He laughs “Well the more modern version.”

You nod, “Well if you were going for modern slutty Jack I definitely see it.”

Harry is shocked at your response. You always leave him surprised.

You smirk. “Bye Harry.”

> > > > >

It’s eleven and the party's still going hard. You’re sitting on a piece of haystack that has a yellow blanket on top to stop the hay from getting on the clothing thankfully the fire pit is helping you keep warm. You drop your head to hide the smile growing on your face when you feel someone take a seat to the left of you.

“Pumpkin, you got to stop running away from me.” He’s pouting and you just want to lean over and kiss him to make him give you that charming dimpled smile.

“Where’s the fun if I make everything easy for you.” You look over at him the fire making his green eyes brighter and you lean in closer wanting a better look.

“Are you trying to kiss me?” Harry gasps. “I always thought I would make the first move.”

You pull away and give him a good shove making him tip to the side and fall. He lets out a small yelp but one look your way and you both start laughing.

Some time later it quiets down and it’s just you and Harry until a drunken couple makes their way outside. Harry stands and offers his hand to you. Without a second thought you take it and he’s leading you through the house and up the stairs. There’s four doors and his is the second on the left. He opens the door and lets you walk in first. His room is surprisingly clean but as expected he has a bookshelf filled with movies and books.

Harry stands back and lets you admire his room. He wants you to feel comfortable. You run a single fingers across all the movies and stop when one catches your eye. The Shawshank Redemption.

“Some movies come out before their time and this one was one of them. I remember finding out on opening weekend in didn’t come close to reaching one million and I was shocked. Thankfully, people redeemed themselves and now tops all lists as one of the best movies around even to this day.” You were just rambling on a movie you loved and you weren’t sure if Harry was even listening. You look over at him only to see him staring at you with a wide smile.

“Embarrassed to say I haven’t seen it. I got it on sale and just never got around to watching it.” He rubs the back of his neck to calm himself.

“Well if you ever get the chance to watch it let me know what you think about it. Would love to discuss it with a professional but just so you know I took my fair share of film and production courses during my summers in high school. I know enough to sound smart in conversations as well as understand.” You told him proudly.

“You continue to surprise me.” He chuckles. “Guess I’m not the only film snob.”

You crinkle your nose at name he called you. “Promise to never call you that ever again, sounds awful.”

You quiet down and sit on his bed. You look over at him and patted the spot next to you. He walks over slowly and sits close enough that your thighs are touching. He lays back and you follow after him. Little noise is heard from outside and you’re thankful for that because laying here in the dark the moon your only source of light is comforting.

“Harry.”

He hums in response.

“I like you.” You let out a shaky breath after finally saying it out loud.

He turns on his side to face you and you do the same even though you’re nervous.

“Pumpkin, you don’t know how happy that makes me.” He brings his hand to rest on your cheek and just holds you so gently as if you’d break if he touched any harder. “I like you too. So much.”

You’re nose to nose now, eyes flickering to each other’s lips each time.

“May I please kiss you?” He asks eyes meeting yours.

“Please.” You let out in a low voice.

He looks into your eyes one more time before closing the gap. It feels like magical. You have never felt someone kiss you with so much emotion. You tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Harry doesn’t even want to think about pulling away because now that he has a taste of you he never wants to stop.

You are the first to pull away to get air in your lungs. You lips brush each other softly as you try to think of something to say. But honestly you think your smile says it all.

“You are always worth the wait.” Harry says his breath tickling your lips having you let out a small laugh.

“Can we do it again, H?”

“‘Course we can. Don’t ever want to stop now.” He sighs into your mouth.

Each kiss keeps getting hotter and you do nothing to stop it. Harry pulls of your blazer as well as your pretty bow tie. He gives it a small kiss before throwing it to the side. He’s trailing kisses all over you neck but not leaving any bruises not knowing how you feel about it. He loves feeling your heart rate speed up, the breathy moans you let out encouraging him to keep going. You run your fingers through his tangled hair and tug on it because you miss the feel of his lips on yours.

“You sure about this?” He asks pulling away to look you in the eyes.

“Yes. I give you my consent. Didn’t have a lick of alcohol.” You tell him proudly. “Can’t say the same about you. Will you remember this in the morning, Sparky?” Harry grins at the dumb nickname you used on him.

“Only had one.” He grins at his next words. “Can’t be chasing you if I’m all boozed up.”

You melt at his words but don’t let him see it. You trail your hands up his open chest. Harry sees how hesitant you are to undress him so he begins to help you out. He takes off his suspenders rather quickly and unbutton the last few keeping the shirt together. You can’t help but lay back and admire Harry. He has so many tattoos but not one of them seems out of place it is as if each one has always lived on him. Harry isn’t one to shy away from what he wants. He brings his hands to rest on your waist. Squeezing hard enough to get your attention. Although you have a hard time focusing when his lips look so inviting.

“Pumpkin, mind if I take off the button up it would only seem fair.” You smirk up at Harry as if thinking it over but give him a soft nod and that gets him going.

You wait with your arms to your side and face tilted up to catch Harry’s expression. Once the shirt and wide open Harry takes in a sharp breath. This is not what he was expecting. A beautiful swallow tattoo is what he sees. It lies over your heart. He wants to compliment its beauty on your skin but his body has a mind of it’s own and he gives is soft kiss. It was so gentle it sent shivers down your back.

“Matching tattoos, doesn’t that scream soulmates to you” Harry jokes but looking in his eyes you see a bit of hope in there.

“Should have known you were a hopeless romantic.” You begin unbuttoning your pants when you stop realizing you have to take off your boots. “H, take my boots of please.” You give him a small smile feigning innocence.

Harry shakes his head at you but proceeds to do as you asked. Once he sets them at the edge of the bed he grabs a hold of your jeans and yanked them down. You’re shocked when you realized he took your panties with them. You’re laying there exposed to him bra removed and thrown across the room. Harry was about to crawl up to you but something caught his eye. Hi grabbed your right ankle and turned it a little he chuckled at what he saw. “Guess I finally found Zero.” Harry leans down and gives Zero a small kiss before claiming your lips once again.

Harry kisses you possessively, one hand sliding under your ass to pull your bodies close. You’re getting desperate you want his hands everywhere. You tangled your fingers in his hair and give it a sharp tug. Harry breaks the kiss letting out a deep moan. Harry’s lips drift down your neck leaving a trail until he reaches your breasts. He gives them quick kisses before making his way down to where you need him most. He pulled you legs over his shoulder his breath hitting the side of your thigh making you whine in need. Harry doesn’t need any encouragement because he dives right in. His tongue darting out to lick along your soft folds. You gasp and tighten the hold you have on his hair, your hips rising to meet his mouth. Harry moaned enjoying how sweet you taste. He sucks your clit into his mouth, slowly slipping a finger inside of you, pumping in and out enjoying the moans you keep letting out.

“Harry” You moan. “Please” You don’t want him to ever stop.

Harry had you begging for more as he kept tasting, sucking, and licking you, content with his place between your thighs until he brings you to your orgasm. His tongue sliding deep inside you alongside his fingers, his thumb pressed against your clit, moving it in slow circles. You felt yourself shattering to pieces, the orgasm leaving you seeing stars, your heart pounding but a smile present on your face. You’d never felt anything that good.

Harry places a gentle kiss on each of your thigh before locking eyes with you. “That was…” You stop to catch your breath. “Impressive.”

Harry chuckles cheeks going red. You’re not sure when he got rid of his pants but he sits there bare. He strokes himself several times before grabbing a condom by the side table, opening it, and sliding it on. He leans over you, his mouth on yours, his kisses getting needy for more.

His cock was hard and you were eager to feel him. You pushed a hand between your bodies and took him in your hand, stroking him. He moaned as you raised your hips to meet his and he slowly eased into you, his hand sliding under your ass to keep a firm grip on you.

You let out a sigh as Harry filled you, it felt right. You felt as if you weren’t meant to be anywhere else but in his arms. The two of you moved in perfect sync. Each knowing what touch the other needed. The moans and groans filled the room. It felt right.

You wrapped an arm around Harry’s neck and brought him in for a kiss, you felt like it had been too long since you felt your lips on his. You wrapped your legs around the back of his thighs, pulling him into you, your hips rising to meet his as each of his thrusts became harder, deeper, longer. This orgasm was better than the first, you felt as if your heart might burst. Harry groaned as your walls clamped down on him. His thrusts becoming more erratic as he chased his own releases. He holds you tighter, his body tightening as he came with a low moan of your name.

He keeps his arm wrapped around you, his face resting on your neck as he catches his breath. A smile on his face as he feels you shower him in kisses all around his face well as much as he lets you. You sigh and close your eyes as he kisses you neck leaving three consecutive pecks.

> > > > >

Harry came back with a wet cloth to help clean you clean up. He was gentle different to how this night started. You find yourself wanting to spend more time with him and you hoped he wanted the same. You’re getting settled in bed together you in your matching black lace bra and undies. Harry stays in the nude letting you know he sleeps like this most of the time.

Harry decides the break the silence.

“It doesn’t take much to get you into bed.” He chuckles.

You are taken back. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“What?”

Harry hears the change in your tone. “Relax, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

You are quick to jump out of bed and throw on your pants, top and blazer in under a minute. All while Harry is staring at you dumbfounded. “No, but you did just want to get in my pants.”

Harry doesn’t know what to do. He never meant to upset her. He isn’t even sure why he said that. He has never felt this way about a girl and he just ruined it.

“I was dumb enough to think you actually liked me.” You finish putting on your boots and make your way towards his door not sparing him another glance.

“I did.” He corrects himself. “I do. I do.” He’s getting desperate.

“No need to feed me lies. I’ll make this easy for you and leave.” Your throat is closing up but you don’t want to cry over him.

“Don’t leave!” He glances at the clock and pauses. “Give it a few minutes they’ll say something if you walk out now.”

You start seeing red. “What!” You turn to him and he sees the anger and hurt in your eyes and he hates it because he caused this. “If I walk out that door will one of your stupid friends be there.”

Harry doesn’t know what to respond they could be but no one saw them go up so you should be safe. At least he hopes. “No.” He knows half these guys suck but Mitch and him have told them they don’t take terrible behavior especially towards women. “They may be jerks but they aren’t disrespectful.”

Your stare is cold as you take one final look at Harry. You’re out the door in the next second. Harry stands at the door when a yell snaps both your gazes to someone at the bottom of the stairs.

Jed, the jerk no one likes, including Harry shouts, “Looks like Harry got the girl.” Cheers erupt right after. You’re not exactly sure what Jed tells the friend next to him but by the way he’s eyeing you it’s not something you want repeated.

You stand there shocked not knowing if you want to cry or punch someone. You turn to look at Harry to see if he’ll do anything but what he does next breaks your heart. He shuts the door in your face. You scoff wanting to go in and punch him but ultimately decide he isn’t the one who deserves it right now.

You walk down the stairs head held high and at this point no one is staring at you anymore. Jed has his back turned to you so you tap his shoulder he turns and looks at you with a smug smile. Not for long you tell yourself. Right fist is shut tight but not enough to cut off the circulation. You bring it up quickly and swing. All that can be heard is high pitch scream, music and conversations fall dead.

Jed falls to the ground and looks up at you in a daze not believing what just happened. You have nothing to add and walk out the front door. You slam the door closed just as Harry slams his door open. You’re in your car in seconds shaking from the adrenaline, you take a few deep breaths and check your phone to see your friends have already left. You’re thankful but not at all excited to explain this story tomorrow.

> > > > >

November 2nd

You had the morning shift at the bookstore and you are thankful to finally be leaving. It’s awful having a shift where no one walks in, especially when you’re working alone having no one to talk to. During the shift your friends came in for a quick chat just to make sure you were really fine. Nick brought you a muffin and a coffee while Carmen went on a rant letting you know she’d beat up anyone who spoke a word about you. None of you mentioned Harry. You could tell they wanted to but you were sure you’d cry if you said his name. As annoying as he could be he was sweetheart around you. Too bad it’s over.

Amy walked in at twelve for the shift change. You clocked out and grabbed your bag from the small lockers in the back room. Amy was quick to grab a book and was sitting in the red chair next to the register.

“Jed totally had that coming. Glad you and Harry gave him a lesson.” Amy starts talking as you almost made it to the door. You turn around hoping she’ll continue and she does. “ Harry came down in shoes and sweats ready to attack but stopped when he saw Jed holding his jaw his lip bleeding. You could tell he was upset someone beat him to the punch.”

You’re shocked no one had told you that Harry actually made it out of his room. “What happened next.” You’re shocked at how much you care.

Amy shot you a smile. “Jed was about to start bitching when Harry punched him then kneed him in the balls but didn’t do more as Mitch finally showed up. He kicked Jed out and the other boys threw his clothes out the window. It was epic.” You laughed as she finished the story. “Have you talked to Harry.?”

You sign and shake your head no. “I don’t know how to go about this. I’ve never felt this strongly about a guy and then have it all ruined.”

Amy shoots you a comforting smile. “If there’s anything my girl has taught me is that hearing them out is important and how you feel after that is how you should go about it. You alone with your head may ruin a beautiful connection that not many are lucky to have.”

You lean down and give her a tight hug. “I might not say this enough but I love you. I’ll reach out to him and let you know how it goes.”

As you’re walking out the door you can’t help the smile on your face. Maybe, just maybe Harry was different.

> > > > >

Walking into the apartment you know something is wrong. You can feel it and that worries you because you’re supposed to be alone for the day. Carmen is out with her family celebrating her sister’s birthday. You pick up the baseball bat that lays behind the front door that Nick gifted you as a housewarming present (honestly you know he got it from goodwill). As you approach the hallway you hold the baseball hat in one hand and call Carmen hoping she will answer you. She answers after two rings and you don’t let her get a word in.

“I think someone broke in.” You whisper steps light. “I am ready to swing, looks like they are in my room.”

Your door is shut but you hear the sound of your desk chair creaking.You’re about to open the door forgetting you’re still on the phone. A scream is what stops you from opening the door. “DROP THE BASEBALL BAT PLEASE!!!!” Carmen sounds exhausted. “IT'S HARRY.”

You pause and open the door quickly startling Harry making him stand from the chair he was sitting in. A plush Zero resting in his large hands making the stuffed present look smaller than it actually is. Harry is standing shocked green eyes on the baseball bat which you drop just as quickly. It lands with a thud. You bring your phone to your ear and continue looking at Harry.

“Can I punch him?” You ask Carmen in a sweet voice trying your best not to laugh because you want to get a reaction out of Harry.

“No.” She pauses. “I would have said yes if he hadn’t explained so do us a favor and hear him out. We wouldn’t have let him in if we knew he was going to cause more trouble. Love you.” Carmen doesn’t give you a chance to answer back and hangs up.

You throw your phone to your bed and that is when you take a look around your room. It’s different, it’s decorated for Halloween even though you remember you didn’t do that this year which means Harry did it for you.

Orange pumpkin lights hang above your head giving it a nice glow. Scattered around on your once empty wall are bats of all sizes. Your window has hanging leaves falling and it looks beautiful. Your old bean bag is covered in a pumpkin blanket with all kinds of candies spread over it. You spot Oreos in the mix and that is what brings the first smile to your face. Finally, you look over at Harry who looks nervous, it looks like he’s sweating.

Shit.

Guess he really is suffering a bit. You’re about to finally say something but your attention is on his chest specifically his pecs that have a ghost with bee’s bottoms on them. It says boo bees. This causes you to start laughing and you take a seat on your bed. Once you calm down you look over at Harry and give him a small smile which he happily returns.

“You went to the Target sale for me?”

Harry is surprised that’s your first question but answers it nonetheless. “Figured I deserved a bit of chaos in my life.”

You nod and look at your TV that is set up to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas realizing Harry wants to hang out with you and this is his way of apologizing or well half apologizing.

“This was very kind of you.” You grab the box of Oreos and grab one splitting it in half. “You can see yourself out. Seeing as you found your way in.”

Harry is not surprised your kicking him out but you didn’t even bother to hear his apology. Heck, you didn’t even ask about it. Harry doesn’t fight you on it and walks out quickly not wanting you to see his tears.

Your room door shuts and you feel bad. Harry was sweet but he did hurt you. Letting him suffer is the right choice, right? As you’re finishing your first oreo, your phone rings.

“Did you kick him out?”

“Yup” You reply.

“It’s not nice letting him suffer.” She sighs, you know she’s fed up with you.

“I suffered.” You remind her.

“He’s going to cry. He is probably crying.”

“I’m on my way. I’ll fix it, let him break my heart again.” You’re giggling as you say this.

“Dramatic bitch.” She yells and hangs up.

You hurry out your door just as you hear the front door closing and move even quicker. He’s waiting for the elevator that takes too long to come up.

“Hey sparky,” His head snaps quickly to look at you. “You’re really going to leave me to eat all this candy on my own.” You shake your head at him but you’re smiling and now so is he. He takes small steps towards you. “Who will take care of me when I crash from all the sugar?”

“You want me to stay?” Harry questions wanting to make sure he is understanding what you’re saying.

“I do believe you owe my some cuddles.”

He’s standing in front of you now. “Can I kiss you?”

You’re shocked at the question but shake your head no. “If we make it through a movie and I decide I like your cuddling then you can give me as many kisses and i-” he cuts you off.

“Get ready for the world’s best cuddles.” Harry leads the way back to your room.

You’re getting settled in your bed with Harry to your right. You decide since you’re doing cuddles might as well go all in which is why your head is laying on his firm pecs. You’re thankful for the short sleeve shirt because you get to admire his tattoos a bit more.

“Why aren’t you letting me apologize?” Harry questions his hand rubs up and down your back softly.

“I already know what happened after I left and that’s enough for me.” You sit up to look at him. You bring your left hand to cup his cheek and he leans into you. “This is a fresh start. No, annoying Harry and no sassy reply from me.” You lean in and give his forehead a soft kiss.

You settle back down and let out a small giggle when Harry gives you a sweet forehead kiss.

“Now Sparky, press play.”

Surprisingly, you and Harry spend the whole time watching the movie. Sharing your snacks equally. More like you moving the oreos every time Harry’s hand made its way to the box. Harry singing along with Jack that made you laugh so loud that Harry couldn’t help but join you. He was making this whole waiting to kiss so much harder. You’ve watched this movie many times so you know the end is near and so does Harry as he seems to tighten his hold on your waist. It feels nice, like he was always meant to be holding you.

The finale is starting and that is when you have enough and sit up but you move so quickly that the next thing you know you’re on Harry’s lap and connecting your lips to his.

Harry hums in appreciation. His left hand on your cheek and right hand on your waist. This is perfect.

You pull away and laugh when Harry chases your lips. He slowly opens his eyes looking up at you. Your lips wet and plump all by his doing. You’re beautiful and he’s lucky enough to be here with you in his arms.

“There’s not much left in the movie, let’s finish it.” You make to turn around but Harry tightens his hold on you.

“No” Harry pouts. “Lets kiss some more”

“Harry,” You start but he interrupts you.

“Pumpkin, this more fun.”

“Eh” you fake looking at your nails.

“That’s it.”

Harry flips you over so your laying on your back and he’s straddling you. He begins kissing you everywhere. Your cheeks, nose, neck, nowhere is left untouched.

The room is filled with love and laughter. Each kiss getting deeper and deeper. After each kiss falling deeper in love with one another.

For it is plain as anyone can see, we’re simply meant to be.

> > > > >

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