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mabelstone · 7 months ago

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I Could Be Yours

hozier x f!reader

part one of lullabies <3

hi i have risen from the dead... new matt stone will be coming soon i promise!! i've just become infatuated with hozier recently so i had no choice but to devote a new fic to him <3

i didn't proof read because it's bedtime, i will fix tomorrow if there's any errors!! soz

cw: none really... just a shitty boyfriend and drinking. still 18+

word count: 3.5k

“That’s your man, ‘uh?” The deep voice behind me made me jump, forcing me to peel my eyes from Joe and the leggy blonde he was laughing with.

“Stop doing that!” I gasp, clutching a hand over my chest, jokingly punching Andrew in the arm. “But yes. That’s him,” I sigh, wanting to cut the conversation before it had a chance to start. Andrew was far too friendly to be talking to my walking storm cloud of a boyfriend.

“I didn’t know his sister was playing tonight,” he confessed casually, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. “Which one is she?”

“He doesn’t have a sister,” I shake my head, quirking an eyebrow at the human tower before me. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Huh?” He played dumb, though a soft pink blush tinted his cheeks, looking like he wished he could eat his words.

“Where did you hear that?” I repeated, the room suddenly too hot for comfort, despite Joe's protests that I was dressed like a 'tart,' in his words.

“I’m sure I misheard, hearing’s a bit shot,” he lied through his teeth, and he must be a fool to believed I'd let him play it off.

“Andy," I faced him now, trying to force him to meet my eyes he was so desperately avoiding. "Who did he say that to?”

“That woman,” his voice sounded pained, as if he were almost ashamed to tell me. He was too smart, he could read me, and if anyone could read the room, it was him. I just went quiet, his warm calloused hand placed on my shoulder, feeling like it might burn a hole in my dress. “You deserve better,” he professed sincerely, pulling that horrid face at me, the type you pull when you feel really sorry for someone.

I huffed some pathetic excuse of a response, forcing my eyes to the ground. There seemed to be a magnetic pull, forcing my eyes back to Joe, hurting my own feelings again and again. I can’t recall a time he’d ever looked that interested in me. Not unless he was trying to bed me, which was usually after a stressful day at work or after a massive fight.

“If you were my girl, every man and their dog would know. You’re too good for him,” his voice was warm, like being pulled from a frozen over lake and straight into an oven. His Irish brogue more apparent than ever, and I cursed myself for the way my heart leapt in my chest.

He just slipped past me onto the stage for his set, unaware that he just made me feel nearly every emotion in the span of two minutes.

“That’s not even a real job,” Joe scoffed, shaking his head indignantly like he always did, as if everyone were beneath him. He’s always looked down at others for as long as I’ve known him. His Napoleon Complex makes him feel like he’s six foot eleven, when in reality, I barely have to tilt my head to kiss him.

I bit my cheek to suppress an angry concoction of insults, swallowing it down and opting for, “so my job isn’t a real job?”

“Babe,” he groaned, one soft hand slipping off the steering wheel onto my thigh. “You know that’s not what I meant. It’s just not very manly, is all. He should be doing something that’s not just for chicks.”

“He’s a carpenter, actually,” I lied, arms barricaded across my chest as I tried to focus on the London Bridge we were rolling over. “Manly enough for you?”

“Could you relax? Jesus Christ…” he pulled his hand from me quicker than he placed it there, sighing emphatically. “You gettin’ your period or something?”

“No!” It was my turn to scoff now, turning to face him. His stupid face was contorted like it always was, as if he’d smelt something rotten. “You’ve hurt my feelings, Joe.”

“Oh, everything hurts your fucking feelings,” he seethed, hooking a turn so sharp I just about fell into the driver’s side. I muttered under my breath, gripping onto the handle at the top of my door, as it was highly likely I was going to need it for the rest of the trip. That’s my Joe. Sickly sweet when you first meet him, then cold and sharp when he drops the act. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this shit.”

“Excuse me?” I straightened up, my stomach twisting in that familiar nauseating knot.

“You. Your shit,” he rolled his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time, turning his head to me, deadpan. “Constantly starting arguments, whining about everything. You’re exhausting me.”

Then the rest of the entourage strides in on cue. The searing pain in my throat, the tears prickling into my eyes. The shame and embarrassment that pummel me like waves in a storm. Oh, God, the embarrassment. I feel my cheeks glow red, and suddenly the chill of late Autumn is comparable to a sauna, and there’s not enough air in the passenger side to satiate my lungs.

“Don’t cry,” he groans again, refusing to look at me again. And suddenly, I’m twelve again, trying to cry silently in my father’s car. Sigmund Freud would be laughing in his grave right now. “I’m sorry," he sighs, reaching for my leg again. I jerk away. "Shouldn’t have taken it so far.”

Though his apologies are just words at this point. I’ve walked this road too many times to not know any better. The rest of the ride home is silent, my knees pressed into the passenger door, trying to focus on anything but the fact that I will probably never leave. I will board this train wreck until he beats me down to nothing.

"He just has this weird infatuation for you. A blind man could see it," he tsked, shaking his head as if it were my fault. "And you just egg him on. He's a proper knob."

"He's the knob? What'd you think of your sister's set, hm?" I seethed, silently letting the tears fall as if I were in some sappy drama.

We didn't speak for the rest of the night, Joe slamming his car door, storming inside to lock himself in our bedroom. I washed my face in the kitchen sink and fell asleep on the couch in the small hours of the morning.

Joe didn't come to my show tonight, opting for the local pub with his work mates. I can't lie and say I was upset about it. Another thing I couldn't lie about is how Andrew's words played on a loop in my head for the rest of that night and all day today. I know he was just saying it to comfort me, but is it sad that I've never been so flattered?

"Hey," I smiled, the condensation from my breath hanging between us as I walked up to Andy. “Thought you were quitting.”

He was leaning against the brick wall outside the bar, a halfway smoked cigarette to his lips. He looked nice tonight. His usual unruly curls framing his face so perfectly, two layers under his dark denim jacket. He grinned infectiously as always, never once tearing his eyes from mine as he shrugged, “I’m no quitter.”

“Shut up,” I groaned, finding my spot beside him, now pressing my back to the cold bricks.

“So, where’s Jake tonight?” Now his eyes were fixed on the busy street before us, his arm brushing mine each time he’d put the cigarette to his lips.

“It’s Joe,” I corrected with an eye roll, though there was no malice in my expression. “And he’s watching the game with his mates. We’ve barely spoken since last night.” My heart ached a bit at the reminder of what he’d said to me on the drive home. You’re exhausting me. If his wish was for me to rethink the past five years, he certainly got it.

He gave me that pathetic poor you look again. "Come on. I'll buy ya' a drink. I insist."

"Who am I to deny you?" I grinned, following close behind him as he stubbed his cigarette out under his boot, holding the bar door open for me.

He ordered himself a whiskey on the rocks, a coconut margarita for me. We slid into a small booth at the back, the walls practically vibrating from the drunken chatter and the obnoxious drum solo on the stage.

"She's busy tonight, eh?" He half shouted across to me, leaning over his drink.

"I know, right? I've never seen the place like this," I agreed, taking in just how alive the atmosphere was tonight. "Remember me when you're famous."

"You're not easy to forget. You remember me!" He grinned at me, taking a large swig of his drink. I couldn't tear my eyes from his Adam's apple bobbing with each sip, his eyes dark in the dim lighting. I felt extreme guilt, forcing my eyes anywhere but his direction.

He must've sensed it. This man could read me like a book. Thankfully, he steered the conversation smoothly, "what're you playing tonight?"

"Oh, no. I'm not singing tonight," I shook my head, polishing off my drink in a sip a little bit too big for my mouth. "Want another drink? My shout."

"Why aren't you singing?" He ignored me, pulling a face that screamed, are you mad? "If there's any night for it, it's tonight."

"Honestly, I just want to get pissed and be the observer for once." I smiled sweetly, hoping he couldn't see through the facade. "What're you singing then?"

"An original," he smiled coyly, eyes faltering.

"Oh, Andy! How exciting," I cheered, genuinely happy for him. He'd shown me some of his poetry, and with such a beautiful voice, there's no possibility he could go wrong. "You're going to blow the roof off. This calls for another drink."

"As you wish," he grinned, holding eye contact as he finished off his glass, the faintest pink tinge to his cheeks.

When I made my way back to the table, my heart sunk a bit when I saw a girl leaning against our table giggling, tucking thick red locks behind her ears. He was laughing too, body language practically begging for more. I might be exaggerating. Why did I even care? I am in a committed relationship.

Funny, he looks just as amused as Joe did last night.

I made my way to the table, sliding his drink to him.

"Hi, I'm Harper," she smiled wide, a beautiful array of pearly teeth on full display.

"Lovely to meet you. Y/N," I smiled back, unable to look at Andrew. "I'm gonna go watch the show. I'll leave you to it."

I turned my back just as he was about to protest, sipping at my drink as I kept my word, finding a seat before the stage. I couldn't really focus on the music though, my mind reeling over what Joe was up to. He hadn't even texted or calls. His location was off too. I grabbed another couple drinks, bumping into Andrew when I made my way back to the stage.

"Y/N," he reached for my arm, a sincerely apologetic tone to his voice. "I'm sorry for earlier, that was rude."

"No it wasn't," I replied a bit too quick, brushing off the apology. "You're single, you can do whatever."

"I meant having someone at our table," shit. Was that the wrong thing to say? Their margaritas are always too strong. "I was enjoying just having you and I time."

"No worries, there's always next time," I smiled sweetly, though really, I just wanted to get in the nearest cab, pack all my shit at home and move back to Bristol. "You're nearly on! I'll be front row." I turned away again, finding my way back to the nice girls I made small talk with earlier.

Sure enough, Andrew was up within the next fifteen minutes. The announcer, somewhere hidden backstage spoke, "please give your warmest welcome to our absolute favourite, Andrew Hozier-Byrne!"

He walked onto the stage, acoustic guitar hanging from his neck as he awkwardly made his way onto the stage, adjusting the microphone to his height as he did each night.

"Ehm, this song is called I Could Be Yours," he offered a tight lipped smile to the crowd, a few cheers heard here and there. "Thanks guys."

I couldn't help but grin at his shyness, the complete opposite of how he was with me.

I could be soft and sweet, I could be hard and loud.

I could be everything you'd ever need somehow.

Why don't you hear me sing out from the lost and found,

I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

He seemed to be scanning the crowd, probably for Harper, meanwhile all eyes were on him, basking in his glory. As if he were rain in a drought, not a single soul in the audience not mesmerised by his syrupy voice. Myself included, wide eyed, the epitome of awe.

Why don't you try on me? Why don't you take me home?

I'll match the colour scheme of your bedroom walls.

Oh, take a dose of me, it doesn't hurt at all.

I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

His skilled fingers danced along the strings, his eyes, when not scanning the crowd focused on his measured movements. To say I was moved was an understatement. His voice thick and sweet as honey, his eyes shining under the stage lights, the hypnotic effect he had on the crowd. Unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Then his eyes found mine. It was almost like nothing existed in the same realm as him and I. Just us.

Oh God, I'd benefit from your sweet tenderness.

Oh, thank God, it could've been, 'cause nothing comes from it.

That'd be a helpful thought if I could remember it,

but I could be yours, I could be yours, I could be yours.

"Thanks," he nodded awkwardly to the crowd, eyes leaving mine as he did the stage, the audience cheering and clapping.

I couldn't put into words the feelings I felt if you held a gun to my head. No doubt my eyes glistened back at his, tears of joy swimming at my waterline, completely estranged from last nights'.

"He was looking right at you!" One of the women I'd met shouted over the cheers, shaking me by the shoulder. I just hummed some response, smiling and beelining for the exit.

The bite of the outdoors was a stark comparison to the warmth of the bar, my nervous system seeming to reset instantaneously. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 8:45pm. I told Joe I wouldn't be home til midnight and not to wait up for me.

It was wrong to feel this way about Andrew. He was my friend. I had Joe. Even if we had our rough patches.

My phone buzzed wildly in my hand, and when I checked the caller ID, I nearly didn't pick up.

I sighed. "Hello?"

"Hey," Andrew spoke loudly over the drunken chatter, a few good one mate, and, good on ya's here and there. "Where'd you run off to?"

"I, uh, had too much to drink," I lied through my teeth, kicking at the gravel beneath my feet. "I'm just heading home."

"Oh..."

"I'm out the front," I piped up, not wanting him to think he caused this. Or that I was running away. Because I was not. Right?

He hung up and shortly after, his tall figure emerged, his shadow reaching me before he did.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "Great song, Andy. Really beautiful." I meant it.

"Oh, yeah. Thank you," he smiled, looking down at his boots. "How're you getting home?"

"I was gonna get a cab, or an Uber, or something." I shrugged, acutely aware of how breathy I sounded. Beyond tired. I wasn't lying when I said I'd had too much to drink.

"No need, I'll take you." He offered, digging his hands into his pockets and gesturing with his head for me to follow.

"It's okay, Andy, really," I countered, giving him my must sincere smile I could muster. I was too confused right now. Nobody had ever made me feel this way while I've been with Joe. "Get in there and mingle. They loved you."

"I'd rather know you're safe."

I ended up in the passenger seat of his car. He'd kindly put the heater on full blast, though no doubt, he'd be sweating under all those layers. I protested, but he kept fretting about how red my nose was from the cold.

"You alright?" He asked, my head leaned against his window.

"Yeah," I breathed, struggling to keep my eyes open, though my mind was very much awake and racing.

"You've been acting funny, did I upset you?" He glanced over at me, concern written all over his features. Had he always been this handsome?

"It's not you. I'm sorry," I lifted my head to look at him. Tequila and I are not friends. I flipped down the visor mirror to see a tiny it of smudged mascara under my eyes. I wiped it away, sighing for the hundredth time. "Joe just... things aren't going well. I slept on the couch last night. Well, barely. He's just so mean, you know?" I babbled drunkenly, a huge weight lifting after finally telling someone. "He always picks at everything I do. You complain all the time. You put too much salt in this. That isn't a real sustainable job, babe. We never shag anymore... Shag? Isn't that disgusting, Andy?"

I continued my drunken spiel, probably including more details than I should have. Andrew just kept his eyes on the road, sharing glances here and there to let me know he was listening.

The grande finale, "why can't all men just be like you? You would make a wonderful husband, you know. You wouldn't tell your girlfriend she's too lively in bed, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't," he laughed, shaking his head. He looked at me fondly. For once, it wasn't a look of sympathy. It was kind of sad, almost.

"I've said too much, haven't I?" I probably looked like a kicked puppy at the realisation, but one smile from him eased any disconcertion I had.

"Not at all," he sighed, staring at his hands on the wheel. "I have a lot to say. I just don't think I should be the one saying it."

"Well, now you have to tell me," I countered, lolling my head to the side to face him.

"He's a fuckwit," he shook his head, his grip on the wheel tightening. "He doesn't deserve you. Not even a little bit. He's going to fuck it up and won't realise what he's lost until it's too late. And you know what? Good."

He pulled onto the road before my house with perfect timing, getting out of the car to open my door for me. He took my hand in his, helping me out, and thank goodness he did, because I still nearly rolled my ankle. I laughed and let myself fall into his chest, steadying myself after a hearty, obnoxious laugh.

"Oh my God, I've made a complete fool of myself tonight," I sighed, this time it felt like a release, not a breath weighing me down. "Thank you for taking care of me, Andy."

"Anytime at all," he grinned leaning against his car. I couldn't help myself, lurching forward at him, wrapping my arms around his torso. My head barely reached his shoulder, even when standing on the curb.

"I loved your song," I murmured against his chest, pulling back to grab his face. He turned ghost white. "You are my favourite singer. Ever."

His cheeks darkened as he looked away, chuckling softly with the shake of his head.

"Drink lots of water for me tonight. That's an order as your favourite singer."

"Yes, Mr. Hozier-Byrne," I grinned, turning on my heels and heading for the door. The garage door was 1/4 open. Joe must be home early.

I fumbled through my purse for my keys, finding them after what felt like an eternity of great difficulty. I was going in with a good attitude. I was going to sit him down and hash this out. We can fix this. We've been together nearly 6 years, this is just a rough patch.

I walked up to my bedroom, sure my ears were deceiving me. When I opened my bedroom door, I saw red.

omg angst... just hear me out i have good direction for this one. i hope u enjoyed <3

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #hozier x reader #hozier smut #andrew hozier

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mr-ys-phantasma · 26 days ago

Text

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader

Chapter 1. - Chapter 2. - Chapter 3

Chapter 4. - Chapter 5. - Chapter 6

Chapter 7. - Chapter 8. - Chapter 9

Chapter 10. - Chapter 11. - Chapter 12

Chapter 13. - Chapter 14. - Chapter 15

Chapter 16. - Chapter 17. - Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Word Count: 1162

Chapter 19:

"If you two are the same, then I should be concerned," Agatha said, eyes narrowed at the two of you.

"Agatha," you exclaimed in shock, taking a step back.

Surprisingly, Rio's grip was loosened; though you swore, you felt the slightest of resistance coming from her fingers.

"Came to join the party, sweetheart?" Rio asked with a smirk, clearly not caring how intimately was caressing and looking at you just a moment ago.

She even dared to draw you back towards her, trying to place her hand around your shoulders, but you resisted; any influence she might have on you was long gone.

"There is no party," you argued, fearing Agatha might get the wrong impression.

After all, she didn't know you knew Rio already, and you were not sure how she would react. Judging by the glare in her blue eyes, you started to suspect she was connecting the dots and was not happy with it.

"Return to the others, Y/N," Agatha said, nicknames and sweet tones long gone; something that only existed when things were serious.

When she was serious.

Instead of sweet and teasing words or remarks, there was this hidden warning buried beneath layers and layers of ice but still visible to anyone paying even the slightly of attention to it.

You felt the need to say something, to argue she could not order you around; you were an adult and a powerful witch, not that young, shy girl she had met during a full moon ritual.

Your lips parted, and yet Agatha stopped you from uttering a single word. "Now,"

It felt as if you were standing on thin ice, carrying yourself above a frozen vast lake. Cracks had formed on it, cracks that threatened to break the ice beneath your feet and let you sink into the cold dark waters beneath.

You would think someone of your status would have no fear of such things, but even the wisest of beings knew when to step back.

You knew there was no place for argument, and even if you tried to make any, the cracks would grow and multiply as Agatha's anger would rise.

In the end, you would fall into the cold waters, and you might lose what you had built so far with Agatha.

Defeated, you walked towards her and noticed how intensely she was staring at Rio as if waiting for her to make a move.

She didn't do anything, not even tried to hold you back and simply watched you walk the same way Agtha had come; not once looking away from her lover... and yours.

Once you were far away, Rio rolled her eyes at the drama. "Come on, Agatha. We were just having fun. " she placed one hand in her waist.

Agatha took a few steps closer. "There is no fun there, Rio," she corrected her former lover. "Y/N is off the limits,"

This intrigued Rio. "Is that jealousy I peeked up, sweetheart?" She asked mockingly. "Didn't expect you to be so possessive of your little toy."

Rio knew that Agatha did not like how she called you, referring to you as a lifeless item to be passed around.

"She is not a toy, and she is not part in any of this. So leave her out, " she hissed faintly.

Yet she could not keep that intense stare and angry attitude for long. The trial, the almost loss of the boy... they had mentally drained her. Rio could see it in her blue eyes, feeling this need to hug and comfort her for a change.

Then she could go back in teasing, annoying and even trying to kill her.

"What do you fear, Agatha?" She asked as she started to slowly walk around the magicless witch. "Think of what we could do if she were to join us," she continued, one hand gently being carried across her back as her tone was a taunting whisper in her ear. "Three is the magic number, and we all remember what happened to the last three witches that paired together."

Agatha would lie if she said she didn't think about it carefully for a moment.

Three was a powerful number in magic.

Three faces of the goddess

Three fates

Three moon phases

Three basic elements

Three rings to the Ballad

The number three was everywhere, amplifying powers with its multiples. Hence why covens aimed to have member numbers equals multiples of three.

And, of course, there were the rumours of a triple witch bond.

Three witches bound together by more than just coven rues. Three witches amplifying one another, making them a very high-level threat when serious.

"It is a cursed idea," Agatha managed to say, though even Rio saw right through it.

"Come on, sweetheart." She said as she stood now in front of her. "We both know those are the words of old hags, too afraid of change,"

Agatha continued to stand her ground against the idea. "It would never work. She is not that kind of witch. "

Rio smiked. "Are you sure about that?" She asked, making Agatha arch an eyebrow. "I believe we both know what kind of witch she can be. You know when the... moon is just right," she whispered the last few words and chuckled before walking away. "Think about it, love. It is never too late"

Agatha did not even turn to look at her, those last phrases having gotten stuck in her head and were being repeated like a broken record.

"You know when the... moon is just right."

Something didn't click right there with Agatha, for one simple reason... how did Rio know?

No matter her role, no matter her 'skills'; this was of something she could not know. Unless she had witnessed it first hand. Unless she had been more preset in your life than you let others know.

A frustrated sound left her lips, and Agatha rubbed her hands against her face; trying to regain her composure.

The Road, the Boy, the fact that she was powerless and that Rio was present; did not help with her mentality or her sanity.

Having this new riddle into the puzzle... it was simply becoming too much.

Agatha pinched the bridge of her nose and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. She had to think of this through, and most specifically, she had to prioritise stuff.

Any questions she had about you and Rio had to wait until you were off the Road. Then, she would sit you down and tie you if she had to until you would spill everything and then apologise for hiding it.

Left with no choice, she started to walk back to the others; taking notice of the warm pyre they had built and how cosily they had sat around it. Even Teen had joined, looking as if he was never in front of Rio's door.

Chapter 20

#agatha all along #jealous agatha #flirty rio #agatha harkness #agatha spoilers #agatha fanfic #agatha x reader #agatha harkness x reader #moon phases fanfic #marvel #kathryn hahn #aubrey plaza #rio vidal

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crossfandomslut · 5 months ago

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At Peace in your Fire (Pt 4)

part 1 part 2 part 3

Summary: the after math of the meeting in Hewn City

Pairing: Eris x Archeron!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: out of character Feyre (Keeping secrets from Rhys) slight angst, fluff 😊

Notes: Ahhhhhhhh !! Thank you everyone who is reading, liking, commenting, reblogging and asking to be on the taglist I love each and every one of you ! This chapter is a little short, but I really hope you like it ! I wanted to get something out this weekend, and cant wait to work on the next part this week !

Eris’ POV

Eris has experienced a lot of fear in his life. Plenty of terrifying moments to plague his nightmares every century of his life. But this- Y/n falling unconscious before them, crying out in agony before the darkness took her- he thought he had suffered all his worst fears by now. He was so devastatingly wrong.

He moved so fast he didn’t have time to think about what he was doing. He was to her before her head could hit the ground. But before he could pull her into his arms, Cassian grabbed her and Azriel yanked Eris back.

“Don’t you touch her.” Azriel growled.

“You’re lucky I moved as quickly as I did! None of you sprang to action and a head wound is the last thing she needs in this state!” Eris defended.

“Why do you even care?” Mor snapped.

“Okay, that’s enough. We need to get Y/n to Madja. This meeting is over.” Rhys started to walk toward Cassian where he still held Y/n’s unconscious figure.

All Eris could do was stand there dumbly and watch as they all prepared to winnow her away, and he would have no way to know how she was or what was wrong. He hadn’t felt so helpless in so long and it felt like a punch to the gut. Only Nesta threw him a look that he couldn’t quite decipher, but it wasn’t nearly as cold as she had looked at him before.

And then they were gone. And Eris had to sit down, or he may have thrown up. He was shaking with pent up energy and emotions. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her at all during the meeting, not when she has been looking at him with soft eyes that expected a good male to be standing before her. He was not good. He was tortured and twisted and wrong. He knew if he had looked into her eyes he would have fallen apart and gotten to his knees before her to ask for her forgiveness for what had happened with Mor, and even with Lucien. He usually brushed off the comments about those events, any event where his morals are questioned. But with Y/n standing there he felt such a need to defend himself- to explain. But he couldn’t. Not fully. And now Y/n will know he is a monster, and she will never again touch his hands with softness, never again look into his eyes with hopeful caution. Gods. All it took was one damn dance and Eris was a fool for her.

He had to see her again. Had to know if she was okay. For now, though, all he can do is go home to the Autumn Court, and pray his father remained unaware of his absence.

Y/n’s POV

Amber eyes, freckled skin, sharp cheekbones, and the softest red hair. Y/n had been dreaming of this face for weeks, but now, instead of a frozen lake with pain and fear in his eyes, they were on the dancefloor. He still looked at her with fear in those beautiful eyes, but this was a much more vulnerable kind of fear. Not fear of her power, but fear of her looking too closely at him. Fear of being seen. In this dream, he doesn’t turn and run away. In this dream he stays, and they stare into each other’s souls for a long while. Then, she leans into him and rests her head on his chest, and he continues to sway her back and forth until the song comes to an end.

When she looks back up at him, his face is cold. His gaze harsh and unforgiving as he pushes her away. She stumbles, but her family rushes in behind her. Eris, who was soft and warm moments ago, was now distant and cruel as he sneers and looks you up and down before exiting the dancehall.

Y/n jolted awake gasping for air. Feyre was immediately by her side, holding her hand. When Y/n catches her breath, Feyre cups her cheek and wipes away the stray tears that Y/n hadn’t noticed falling. Feyre climbs into the bed next to her. The small bed was set up right next to the fireplace, and Y/n crooned toward the heat and golden glow on her face. It was nighttime, or maybe the early hours of the morning. Feyre laid on the side furthest from the fire, her head propped up on her hand and reached the other out to comb Y/n’s hair with her fingers.

“How are you feeling?” Feyre whispered.

Y/n motioned to her throat in a request for water and Feyre jumped up to get it for her. After a few large, unladylike gulps, she set the glass down on her bedside table. “Thank you. I’m okay. What happened?”

“We were in the meeting with Eris,” Y/n’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name and tried to not make it obvious she had just been dreaming about him, “when all of a sudden you cried out in pain and fell unconscious.” Feyre finished.

“My head had been hurting throughout the meeting. I don’t know what was wrong, I’m sorry. That must have been so embarrassing and unprofessional. Is Rhys upset?”

“Rhys? Oh Y/n, of course not! He’s been worried sick about you. Like a mother hen. He’s terrible, honestly,” Feyre chuckled softly. It made Y/n feel more at ease.

“But we didn’t get the information from Eris about the Spring Court. I messed up the whole meeting because of a silly headache- “

“Y/n, stop, it’s really okay. Eris was being an ass anyway and- “ Feyre halted as Y/n groaned and held her head in her hands. “Y/n? Y/n what can I do?” Feyre sat helpless as her twin’s face contorted in pain. Y/n swung her legs over the side of the bed to fully face the fire raging in the hearth and she felt the pressure in her head lighten.

Feyre came to sit beside her again, and when she could think again, Y/n started to remember what happened at the meeting. She remembered being confused the whole meeting. By Eris refusing to look at her, by the history with Mor and with his brother, and the rising tension in the room and the distain that her family held for Eris. She remembered the pain in Eris’ voice that no one else could bother to hear, when he said, “not all of us were as lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.” And that was when the pain in her head escalated to a point that she could not handle. Then she comes to now, when Feyre started to insult him, and the pain came back. The only to help, being the fire… Her twin wasn’t stupid. Y/n knew she had pieced it together too before even looking at her. And it wasn’t her daemati power. Y/n had worked tirelessly on her mental shield.

Y/n slowly turned to lock eyes with Feyre and was met with a knowing but weary gaze. “So… Eris, huh?”

“Ugh, Feyre!” Y/n groaned and threw her pillow at her head. Easily grabbing the pillow, Feyre and Y/n burst out into laughter. They hadn’t laughed like this together in so long. They had been so close until Feyre came to Prythian, and Y/n hadn’t noticed how much she had been missing her sister.

When their breathing slowed and they could once again keep a straight face, Y/n looked back to her sister. “I don’t know. I feel this pull to him, but I also know how much everyone hates him. I mean her tried to take you from us on that damned lake, he apparently has hurt Mor, and I don’t even know what to think about what happened to poor Lucien. And at the same time, I think I see him in a way that not even he can. He is the embodiment of fire, Fey. How could I not be drawn to him like a moth to a flame? I think… I think he might be a good male deep down. But I’m so confused.” Y/n sighed and put her head in her hands again.

Feyre rubbed her sister’s back in an attempt to soothe her. It makes sense, she thinks, for her sister to be intrigued by Eris. But she was in the same boat with their family’s animosity toward the male, it would be difficult to work around centuries of hurt, even if they were misunderstandings. “We’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

When Y/n woke the next morning, it was close to noon and Feyre was gone. Likely off performing her duties as High Lady to get ready for the High Lords meeting, they were planning. As she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, she noticed a quill and parchment sat out on her desk across the room. Having learned how to read and write not long ago, she thought it might be a sign to practice. She had already missed her usual lesson with Rhys or Amren, so this would have to do.

She wrapped the plush green robe tighter around her shivering frame and sat in the large desk chair with her knees to her chest, her head resting atop them. The desk was a beautiful cherry oak wood, stained to deepen the natural red tint of the wood. The complexity of the color and the grain of the wood had Y/n’s mind wandering to a certain male who was just as complex and had hair a similar shade of red. Thinking of the way his hand felt on her waist as they danced, how warm he was, and the moment of vulnerability he showed during the meeting. She felt her heart crack slightly as she recounted the look on his face and the way his voice broke imperceptibly when he said, “not all of us were as lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.”

The memories had her picking up the quill, dipping it into some ink, and pressing to the page.

She folded the parchment into a triangle shape that could be carried by the wind, and with all her power, willed the wind to carry it to the Autumn Court. Hoping and praying to whatever gods may listen, that no one else finds it.

Eris’ POV

The minute he arrived back in the Autumn Court, Eris was so exhausted that he could have wept when he saw his horse standing there waiting for him. The chestnut stallion was a clear mirror of himself. Tall, deceivingly strong with his lean frame, and a coat the color red that could only be found in his home court. A striking white blaze ran down his long face onto his soft muzzle. As Eris approached him, Ignatius lifted his head in greeting and let out a low nicker. Eris approached him with tired eyes and a small, fond smile. “Hello, friend. Let’s go home, shall we?” Stroking his neck in a few long, slow movements, Eris mounted his steed and they started on their way back to the Forest House.

When they made it back to the stable, Eris took Ignatius’ saddle and bridle off, put him in his stall and made sure he had extra gain for the night. Giving his friend a final brushing, Eris bid him goodnight- although it was likely closer to morning by now.

As soon as his head hit the pillow, sleep embraced him in a tight hold and dragged him to a land of dreams. Dreams of Y/n and her shining y/h/c hair, her soft but calloused hands in his, and her stunning y/e/c eyes staring straight into his soul. He could stay in this dream forever he thinks. Hearing her soft voice say far too kind things to him.

Eris finally awoke when a maid opened his door and startled him from sleep. She squealed and jumped when Eris shot up from his bed, and profusely apologized as she scurries away, closing the door behind her. He rubbed his eyes and rolled out of bed, making his way over to his balcony where the first maid must have come in and set out his tea for the morning. The pot was cold by now, but that was no issue for a fire wielder. Quickly, his tea was hot once again as he sat and looked out upon the grounds of his house. House, not home. As he sat and breathed in the early afternoon air, something caught his attention. It looked like a piece of parchment floating on the breeze. It couldn’t be- but it kept getting closer to him and suddenly in was within his reach. He snatched the paper from the sky and looked at it with wide eyes. He could smell her. Y/n’s scent of cashmere and cinnamon, all things warm and comforting. He closed his eyes for a long moment, just breathing her in. when he regained his composure, he sat down and unfolded the letter.

Dear Eris,

I am fine, in case you were wondering. Truthfully… I’ve been wondering about you. Maybe that isn’t appropriate to say, but I’ve already written it and I simply can’t waste good parchment to not say what I mean and what I feel. I’m confused and I want to talk to you. I don’t believe there is ever only one side to a story and I’d very much like to hear yours.

Y/n

Eris choked out a laugh and had to cover his mouth with a hand to keep himself from breaking out into a fit. He knew she was bold, but this was something he could not have anticipated. She was thinking about him. Eris shook his head to clear his thoughts and rushed back inside to his large mahogany desk. The drawers painted the shade of green of the forest after a heavy rain. After he thought through what he wanted to say, he put ink to paper and wrote out his response. He hoped he didn’t seem desperate by responding with such haste, but he too was wondering about her and wanted to know her. So, he held the letter in the palm of his hand and set it alight.

Y/n’s POV

Despite the late start to her day, she tried to regain some sense of control by tracking down Cassian for a training session, eating lunch and doing some studying that Amren assigned her in the library. By the time she got back to her room, the sun was setting, and she asked the house to bring her dinner to her room.

With her eyes half closed from exhaustion, she plopped down on her couch in front of the already lit fire. When she peeled her eyes open, she noticed a small, folded paper sitting in front of the hearth. She felt her heart jump to her throat as she scrambled to reach for it on the ground. Holding her breath, she unfolded the paper delicately. As if it might turn to ash in her hands.

Dearest Y/n,

I am glad to know you are alright. I was… worried. About you. I am also happy to see your boldness knows no bounds. You fascinate me and I find myself wanting to know you. But it seems you have questions for me too, so let us make a deal. A question for a question. What do you say, little dove?

I eagerly await your response,

Eris

Taglist: @abysshaven @myromanempiree @lilah-asteria @96jnie

@ivy-34 @minaethrym @nebarious @anxious-study @slytherintaco @talesofadragon @paleidiot @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @tenebrisirae

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #autumn court #eris acotar #eris vandaddy #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris x y/n

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witchlingcirce · 2 months ago

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I’m so bored rn so I want to overanalyse Cassandra Clare’s recent post about her in Sweden and what that could mean for TWP!!!.

And two quick side notes before we begin: I don’t know a lot about Sweden, so if anyone wants to add onto too any of my points please do!! Or correct me, all is welcome <3!! ALSO, I’m sure 99% of these photos are just nice pictures from her holiday trip :), I am just bored and deciding to look far too into it!!

FIRST OFF IS THIS LAKE, now this one kind of confirmed to have something to do with kit & Ty:

Okay so obviously Kit & Ty need to get past this river, so this leads me to wonder why: either A: there running from someone/something, B: there’s an objective at the end of the lake.

The phrasing of “Could Ty & Kit cross that river” leads me believe that they will probably spend a bit of time figuring out how 👀, my theory is that Kit may use his magic and find a way to have them both cross the river, OR maybe Ty will make something for them to cross the river???

Now onto the bit I feel like I DONT SEE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT is the “will they survive”. Now maybe there being chased down by something and maybe the thing being chased down Knicks one of them, and they don’t realise until there over lake 👀 or maybe something malfunctions while there going over the lake???

I stated before that maybe Kit uses his powers, and maybe by doing so, he hurts himself… OR HE HURTS TY (the angst…)

Another possibility, which I’m 100% pulling out my ass rn that relies on whatever season Sweden is in during TWP but maybeee the lake is frozen over and while walking on it, one of them falls in and the other has to save them (this trope always remind me of little woman).

I don’t really have any particular theories about said Cabin, but I do believe that it will be in TWP- so I decided to include it!!!

I feel like the cabin will definitely have some veryyyy romantic moments idk, I mean… a blackthorn loves a good cabin *cough* mark *cough* Julian *cough*

I have a feeling we will see some fun tropes play out in said cabin, one I’ve seen before is the “one bed trope” which I love, and can see happening !! I can imagine maybe some personal moments between the two, talking about certain things ie: what’s happened over the last three years (again this depends on when this takes place during the story)

I also have a feeling that the cabin may be near the lake, so I feel like this kind of relates to my above points!!!

Now… THIS!! I don’t actually know what kind of building this is, so I will not comment on that or anything as such… but the architecture is SO COOL

I feel like this would probably be a destination where they meet someone. Maybe a warlock and or Faerie. The sticks around the structure itself kind of gives me fae vibes, so maybe mother Hawthorne??? Or a new character haven’t seen… but it’s soooo cool and the fog makes it ohhh soooo mysterious

And on a final, and more happy note…. What if Kit & Ty go on a waterfall date :,()

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fixfoxnox · 11 months ago

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Ice Skating is Romantic (NikPrice) (Day 3 of COD-mas)

Description: Nikolai finds out that his husband doesn't know how to skate. He takes it upon himself to fix that.

Warnings: Mentions of death

“You don’t know how to skate?” Nikolai sounded shocked and more than a little bothered by the confession that Price had just made while leaning against his chest. Price hadn’t known that he was making a confession, or that the casual words he’d spoken would cause Nik to react so violently, but it was certainly too late to take them back now.

Price gave an unbothered shrug and continued glaring over the reports in front of him. His boys had certainly caused a bit of a mess on their last mission and he was the one stuck writing everything up. He was going to have to make sure to never make the mistake of putting Gaz, Roach, and Soap on a team together. It was far too destructive apparently. “Never learned, not many opportunities around being shipped out to fuck all by the military.”

Nikolai gave a few shocked sounds for a moment, stumbling over his words as he tried to find something to say. Price couldn’t understand why Nikolai was so bothered. His husband had never said anything about skating before and it wasn’t that big of a deal that they wouldn’t be able to go skating for their weekly date like Nikolai suggested.

“Have I never asked you to go skating before?” Nik sounded horrified by himself, his accent growing stronger with his clear upset at himself. Price caught a few words in Russian mumbled under the other’s breath, though they were far too quick for him to figure out what they meant, even with his years of learning the language and deciphering Nikolai’s little phrases.

He shook his head, “I think it came up as a possibility once while we were in Russia. We were on a mission though, and you know how conversations on a mission go.” He shook his head again and clicked his pen rapidly, trying not to grow anxious at the line of dialogue. “What’s the issue with me not knowing how to skate?” He nudged at Nik’s arm before playfully adding, “Don’t tell me this is divorce worthy?” It was a quick joke, one meant to diffuse his own nerves.

Nik cracked a slight smile at that and turned to gaze down at Price properly, “John, how long will it take you to realize that there isn’t a thing in this world that would make me want to divorce you? You’re stuck with me remember?” The words pulled a bit of a laugh from Price’s chest, reminding him pleasantly of the early moments of their relationship when Nikolai had sworn the same thing, albeit with a less romantic meaning behind it.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Price snuggled closer to Nik, pressing a short kiss to his clothed shoulder. He thought perhaps that might have ended the discussion of ice skating, but it seemed that he couldn’t be so lucky.

Nik tugged him closer to his chest, tucking him just under his chin. There were a quiet few moments before he spoke again, “I will have to teach you to skate.” Price gave a short groan at the words, but Nik seemed unbothered by his unwillingness. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Will I?” Price gave a short grumble, abandoning his reports in favor of pressing his face into Nik’s chest, “Because I adore falling and busting my ass over and over in front of my husband.”

He couldn’t see Nik’s face, but he could feel as the man’s body shook with amused laughter.

“What if I fall and cut my leg open with the blade,” Price’s voice shook with worry as he spoke, his eyes trailing down to look at the ice skates that Nik was lacing up tight for him. He thought it would be better to call the things on his feet knife shoes rather than anything, he’d nearly cut himself on the blade at the bottom just while walking to find a place to put them on.

He wouldn’t admit that he was anxious about the entire thing. He didn’t even know why he was anxious. All that he knew was that the entire drive to the little frozen lake where they’d be skating, all he could do was bounce his knee and pray that the ice wasn’t thick enough for them to skate on. It was and he was forced to put on the pair of pristine white skates that Nik had gifted to him.

Nikolai gave a small chuckle at the words. “You doubt yourself, John. And worry yourself.” He leaned forward, bullying his way between Price’s legs to place a short kiss on his lips. “I promise that you will enjoy this,” he spoke with such softness that Price could only nod along and agree with him, even if he didn’t particularly think it was true.

The two held there for a short moment, just holding the other's hand and taking comfort in their shared warmth. Nik was the first to move, rising to his feet and easily hoisting Price up to join him, a joyous grin on his face. He didn’t let go of Price’s hands as he led them over to where the ice of the lake began. Price couldn’t help but wonder if Nik just wanted to hold his hand or if the man was doing it simply so that Price wouldn’t try to take off.

“I’m going to twist an ankle,” Price’s voice broke a bit as they stepped toward the ice, “or break a hip. Do you know how much shit the team is going to give me if I break a hip?”

Nikolai only chuckled at the concerned tone of his husband, showing no signs of hesitation as he easily stepped onto the ice. He was surprisingly graceful with the movement, stepping onto the frozen lake before spinning in place to face Price and join both of their hands together instead of just the one. “Come now, Captain, have a bit of fun.”

Nik gave a beaming smile before pushing himself back further onto the lake and tugging Price with him. The result was a distracted Price who was so busy admiring his husband that the sudden movement sent him stumbling forward on the ice.

He could feel his feet slip out from under him even as he tried to catch himself. A flash of panic ran through him and he gave a frightened yelp as he was sent sprawling forward, doomed to hit the ice. Except he didn’t.

Instead, he found himself saved by his husband’s arms.

Nik had caught him just before he could go all the way down and hauled him against his chest, allowing Price to use him to catch his balance. Price felt out of breath from the near fall and he looked up to Nik, ready to spill apologies and pleas to just leave from his lips. Those died on his tongue as he met the adoring gaze of his husband.

“Thank you,” he managed, his voice shaking just a bit. Nik didn’t say anything for a moment, he just continued smiling at Price and gazing at him with those adoring eyes as he helped him right himself on the ice.

The moment was quiet between them, Nikolai helping Price to balance and Price doing his damnest not to melt a hole in the ice from both embarrassment and the heat he felt for his husband. He couldn’t help it, he loved it when Nikolai got like this.

It made it harder to focus on the task at hand, something that was both a blessing and a curse. It meant that Price was no longer so focused on the skating aspect. No longer so worried about falling and breaking something or dying a horrible embarrassing death at the hands of an ice skate. It did, however, mean that he was really struggling to pay attention to Nikolai’s directions. Nik seemed to recognize as much.

“Focus, John.” Nik gave him a soft smile and started to skate backward a bit, pulling Price with him by his hands. Price nearly fell again, but managed to find his footing before his husband was forced to save him. He had to force himself to pay attention to the movement of his feet rather than Nikolai skating right in front of him, looking so charming in his winter wear and being so charming while guiding him over the ice.

“Sorry, Kolen’ka,” he muttered under his breath, his mind trying to focus on the task at hand. Despite that, his mind wasn’t so focused that he didn’t notice the quick twitch of Nik’s hands at the use of the diminutive. He laughed internally at that, knowing that the name that had just slipped off of his lips had likely driven his husband wild. Even if it was for only a moment.

There were several long moments of the two just skating around the little lake like that. Price had a death grip on his husband’s hands, frightened of falling again and Nikolai just let him hold on and get used to the feeling of gliding around on the ice. It was terrifying to Price but exhilarating all the same. The movement was so fluid and everywhere they went they left little tracks behind them, lines in the ice that showed their paths.

There was something else about it. The trust involved, Price was sure. He trusted that Nik knew what he was doing, that his husband wouldn’t let him fall and wouldn’t let him skate over a part of the lake where the ice was too thin. Too dangerous. He trusted Nikolai to ensure his safety, to make sure that he didn’t have to worry. That, in itself, was more romantic than he’d expected.

“Ready to try on your own?”

Price gave a nervous laugh and gripped tighter to Nikolai’s arms, “Do you really think that's necessary?” He pulled himself closer to the other man, as though afraid that he might be left on his own if he didn’t. “I’m enjoying myself just fine like this.”

“It’s more enjoyable to do it on your own,” Nik’s voice was laced with amusement and he managed to give Price a grin even as Price tugged him closer, intent on not giving Nikolai even a chance to release him.

“I disagree.” Price glanced up to give him a smile of his own when he suddenly found his supports taken out from under him. Nikolai had pulled away from him in a flash, leaving him practically shaking like a leaf on the ice. All on his own. “Nik,” he gave a warning call, panic flooding him.

“Calm down, dusha moya.” Nik wasn’t too far, only about five feet in front of him. He had his hands placed on his hips and a shit-eating grin etched across his face. “Don’t panic, just do what we’ve been doing and come to me.”

“I’ve been doing everything with you,” Price complained. He looked down at his shaky feet and, for a moment, he felt dizzy.

“Look at me,” Nik’s voice cut through his panic. Price didn’t even think before taking his eyes off the ground and looking up to meet Nik’s eyes. “Trust me. Just come to me.” A short moment passed before Nik gave him an encouraging nod.

Price held still for a few moments, trying not to seem as annoyed as he felt at his husband. He reminded himself that it was only a few feet and that he would be more than able to give his husband a good smack for leaving him on his own the second that he crossed that distance.

He said nothing, instead, he clenched his jaw and began to move his feet like he’d been doing while holding on to Nik. It was odd and he clearly didn’t have the movement down yet as it took him a long moment to even get himself started, but he was able to get started. He found himself inching forward across the ice. Little by little, the distance between him and Nik closed.

When he finally found himself face to face with his husband, all thoughts of hitting him were gone from his mind. Now, he only took a shaky breath before tugging the other man down for a harsh kiss. The warmth in his chest and the feeling of success rushing through him had left him feeling airy and all too light on his feet. The kiss managed to ground him.

It was a press of cold lips and warm breath, perfect pressure, and adoring attention. Hands finding one another, neither of them could be bothered to do anything other than wrap the other in their arms and hold close, warming each other from the cold.

“Never make me do that again,” Price muttered the words against Nikolai’s lips, pulling a short laugh from the other man.

“Whatever the Captain orders,” Nik responded playfully, tugging Price with him across the ice even as he pressed their lips back together. Whatever fear that Price felt at the move melted away with the kiss, leaving him feeling light on his feet and filled with such adoration that even he had to begrudgingly admit that his husband had been right.

Ice skating was quite romantic.

#call of duty #captain john price #cod nikolai #nikolai cod #price x nikolai #nikprice #call of duty fanfiction #cod fanfic

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yenqa · 2 years ago

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how you would spend a snow day with enhypen!

pairing : enha x reader :)

warnings : kissing, mentions of being sick, destroying things, mentions of eating/food

wc : 0.7k again 😭😭

a/n : another one bc my last one did well :)

heeseung - as soon as he sees the snow he fr RUNS out there with you ofc. but he’s so excited and then you’re like “babe we have to put on warmer clothes we’re going to get sick!” and as much as he does want to be sick so he could be pampered by you, he decides a snow day is much more fun. together you build a snowman and he pushes you down a hill with a sled :)). and you like insists on pushing him down but he’s like no bc he doesn’t want you to do the work for him :( and when you get inside he makes ramen and hot chocolate 😭😭 </3

jay - he wakes you up bc he’s made soup and hot chocolate to contrast the cold day :( and when you’re about to go outside to play in the snow he literally puts every single jacket on you known to mankind 😭😭 and you’re like “jay that’s too many jackets! i’m sweating right now!! 😠😠” and he’s like “hun i can’t have you being sick :(“ but in the end, he makes you wear three layers plus snow pants and a hat that covers your ears :). together you make snow angels and (try to) build a snowman ☹️

jake - actually drags you out of bed to play in the snow. and like jake i feel like is the kind of guy to make tiktoks of you two dancing in the snow if your relationship was out he would post it on the enhypen acc but if it wasn’t he probably has a private account he would post it on. but you guys literally spend like an hour making that video because one of you two keeps messing up. then when you get back inside you watch corny christmas movies together and cuddle :)

sunghoon - he’ll take you to a frozen lake and he’s so happy bc he bought skates for the both of you and he like teaches you how to skate properly :((. hes like “y/n-ah you’re so bad at this” and you’re like “i know 😒😒”. and eventually you give up so you both make snow angels and he turns it into competition obvi “y/n my snow angel is way better then yours!” “no sunghoon yours has your boot prints in the legs mine don’t so mine is better 😒😒” and you keep arguing and you know he’ll never give up so you give up and gives you his lil gummy smile ☹️☹️ guys im crying

sunoo - he would get a driver to drive you guys to the city so you can see all like the tree’s with the lights and snow on them 😣😣 and he like writes on the sidewalk “y/n <3 sunoo!” but he know’s it won’t be there for long so he takes a picture of it :((. when you’re admiring the scene he secretly takes a photo of you bc you’re so cute and he wants to remember this moment forever :(. and he asks a random person walking on the street to take a photo of you two and you both make it your wallpapers 😖😖

jungwon - would make hot chocolate for you guys and add like whipped cream and peppermint bits to make it all fancy and things :(( and once you finish it you has to make sure you’re warm by putting you in his jackets 😏😏 and when you’re outside you have a little walk stopping sometimes to throw snowballs at eachother :(. then when you get back inside you two would make gingerbread houses and eat them (maybe idk i find them gross)

niki - he literally doesn’t care about getting sick so he puts on a jacket but you its different he puts you in his warmest jacket! and a sweater underneath obvi. and the whole time you’re throwing snowballs at eachother and running away from eachother and you make a life sized snowman which takes sooo long and when you make the head he has to put it on and he teases you for it obvi “y/n aish you’re so short, here i’ll put it on for you like the best boyfriend i am.” and you’re like whatever 😒 and when you add all the decorations to the snowman he gets a tripod and takes a picture of you two :( then he try’s to knock down the snowman by running into it which fails terribly.

tysm for reading! i appreciate likes, comments, and reposts! have a great day!

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 8 months ago

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I’m back on this bullshit again. I could write essays about this song and different BBC Merlin characters.

But to save a long ass, word count of 20k, rant and character analysis for each character in the show, specifically in relation to Hozier’s music, here’s what lyrics I’d give to each character and who I think they’d say it to or about with little to no explanation.

(I’ll elaborate if asked, a few of these have other characters they could be about, these are just my personal favourites.)

Lancelot or Elyan about Gwen depending if you take it as romantic or platonic - You know the distance never made a difference to me

Merlin about Arthur - I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea //Ignored the vastness between all that can be seen // And all that we believe

Arthur about Merlin - So I thought you were like an angel to me

Lancelot about Merlin - Funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy

Gwen about Morgana - If there were scarlet flags // They washed out in the mind of me

Merlin about S2/3 Morgana - Where a blinding light shone on you every night // And either side of my sleep

Merlin about Arthur - Where you were held frozen like an angel to me

Morgana - It ain't the being alone Sha-la-la // It ain't the empty home, baby Sha-la-la // You know I'm good on my own Sha-la-la

Arthur to Merlin - Sha-la-la, baby, you know it's more the being unknown // So much of the living, love, is the being unknown

Merlin to Arthur in the finale - You called me angel for the first time, my heart leapt from me

Arthur about Merlin in the finale - You smile now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth

Gwen about Arthur in the finale - And what's left of it, I listen to it tick

Gwen about Merlin in the finale - Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me

Arthur about Morgana and Merlin - Do you know, I could break beneath the weight // Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?

Merlin about Arthur - That I'd walk so far just to take // The injury of finally knowing you

Future Merlin - It ain't the being alone Sha-la-la // It ain't the empty home, baby Sha-la-la // You know I'm good on my own Sha-la-la

Merlin to Arthur - Sha-la-la, baby You know it's more the being unknown // And there are some people, love, who are better unknown

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unicyclehippo · 2 years ago

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for your one word prompts, trust? <3

it's been building for a little while now, the unease, the confusion, the hurt every time beatrice takes a call and walks out of the apartment or sends a coded message on the burner she hides in the salt tin on top of the fridge or sidesteps questions, and ava has been meaning to talk to her about it, sit them both down on the couch with a nice soothing cup of tea and the frankly painful and painstaking list she's written out of Things I've Noticed You Not Telling Me. she meant to, she really did. but today has just been. bad. from start to end.

beatrice wakes her before six with a nudge and they dress silently, slipping out into the grey morning and down to the lake to train. pretty soon, the clouds split and ava spends her morning mostly flat on her back. over and over and over and over and over again. beatrice is impassive and challenging in turns, a good teacher but cold, calm, and by the end of their sparring ava feels half-dead again.

the rain doesn't help. it's cold and slow, half-frozen to a sludge and it stings when it hits. drips off the end of her nose, her chin, the ends of her fingers when she stands in it, panting.

'h-how'd i do, coach?' ava jokes, teeth chattering. 'too impressive, right? gotta rein it in?'

beatrice smirks, just a little. she's always happier when she's been training and ava hasn't quite figured out whether it's because of the exercise or because she likes to win. 'you did well,' she says. ava starts to deflate, when she adds, 'it's important to train in all different...terrains.'

'ooh.' ava closes her eyes. savours it. 'that was so bad.'

she gets about half a second of beatrice laughing when there's a single buzz from the picnic table where they've stashed their things. a few long strides gets beatrice there in mere moments, before ava can even start to think to do the same, and then beatrice calls back to her,

'time to test your endurance, ava. we're jogging back to the apartment,'

and sets off without another word, slinging her waterproofed backpack over her shoulder.

the grey swallows her up. ava swallows down a mutinous thought—to stay, to ignore beatrice's instruction—and stumbles forward to her own pack, her jacket which has remained thankfully dry beneath the picnic table roof. her fingers catch, numb, on the zipper. the teeth tug closed, all the way up to her neck.

there's a good reason that beatrice isn't telling her about these messages, these secret phone calls. ava is pretty sure they're from camila, or mother superion, based on the timing and the secretive way beatrice sends messages back. there's a good reason, she just knows it.

by the time ava makes it to the apartment, beatrice has already showered and dressed. heat billows out from their tiny bathroom in a white cloud; the steam stings her frozen nose a little, smells hot and a little like the shampoo they both use, something flowery. ava's never bothered to check what it was, just enjoys pouring it into her hands - it comes out of the bottle pink, which always makes her smile - and sudsing it up, the scent slightly chemical and overpowering but it lasts the whole day. ava knows because she can always tell when beatrice has just left a room at work, the smell lingering, and it clings to their pillows too, much gentler by the time they get to bed but still there.

'i have work today,' beatrice says, tugging on her boots. 'hans and i are going over the inventory, nine to twelve. it might run late, depending.' on what, she doesn't elaborate.

'i could come with -'

'it'll be boring and cold,' beatrice denies with a shake of her head. 'please, stay here, stay warm. we can't afford for you to get sick.'

'can i get sick? or would the halo heal that too?'

'i'm - not sure.' beatrice pauses, reaching for her coat. her fingers close around empty air as she thinks about it. shakes her head. 'better not test it.' her eyes narrow when ava just hums. 'ava. please don't test it.'

'fine. buzzkill.'

'i'm not a buzz-'

'i'm teasing, bea.' ava glances to the bathroom - warm, inviting - and back to beatrice. 'hey,' she says, effortlessly casual. rainwater drips down to her soggy, muddy trainers. 'who was the message from?'

'message?'

'yeah. down by the lake? you got a message.'

'ah. it was from hans, like i said.' beatrice doesn't meet her eyes when she says it, stooping to collect her keys and wallet from the coffee table. 'right. i'll be back around midday, maybe one. i'll bring lunch. any preferences?'

the truth, ava wants to say, but it feels a bit dramatic. and she kinda just wants to shuffle into the bathroom and defrost, so she says, 'curry. nice and hot.'

'alright. i'll see what i can do. and ava?'

was this it? was she going to tell her? ava perks up, smiles.

'i know this is unfair but - the rain, could you...?'

ava slumps. waves her away. 'i'll mop. don't worry about it.'

'thank you. truly.'

beatrice is late. she comes through the door at twenty past one, wind-swept, cheeks flushed with the cold. it's not raining anymore but the chill lingers and she has mud splattered on her boots and the cuffs of her dark jeans, which she changes for black sweatpants and thick woolen socks.

'how was inventory?' ava asks, turning away from the sink where she's finally got around to washing up their coffee cups—okay, mostly her own, which she's left scattered around the apartment—and pulls bowls up from the cupboard, dishes up their curries. she sticks a finger into the centre of her own and frowns, slides it into the microwave. weird. it's not a long walk from the store but either it's colder outside than ava thinks or beatrice took the long way home because the food is barely warm anymore.

the suspicion stings and before she can think it through totally, she's reaching for the crumpled up receipt, plastic bag rustling under her fingers. it is soft and creased, made of that thin, cheap paper in off-grey; someone, maybe beatrice, has touched it with a wet hand and the blue ink of their order has spilled, bled across the page. where it is water-spotted, the paper is soft and easily torn and it rips a little when ava smooths it out but even so, the collection time is legible in the bottom corner.

twelve forty-three.

'—doesn't have what it takes to be manager, i fear. the entire procedure could do with an overhaul for improved efficiency, which i suggested to the owner—'

'why did it take you forty minutes to get home?'

beatrice pauses. takes her time to roll the second sock onto her foot, tucking the end of her sweatpant neatly over it.

'who messaged you this morning? who really messaged you? and don't tell me it was hans because i know he wouldn't be up before nine. ever.'

'the road was slippery. and it was hans.'

'oh it was hans?' ava crosses the kitchen, grabs her own phone out of the pocket. she holds it up. 'i'll text him then, huh? maybe call him and ask - hey, did you call beatrice at the ass crack of dawn this morning?'

'you're being childish.'

ava sucks in a sharp breath, recoils. 'childish? are you for real?' beatrice grimaces, apologetic, but it's not enough. 'me asking questions is - is not me throwing a fucking tantrum.'

'i shouldn't have -'

'no! don't fucking bother!' she says, and it comes out rough and too-loud. heat prickles across her skin - embarrassed, humiliated - because she's pretty sure she's being loud enough that their neighbours can hear, if they're home, if they're listening, and what they'll hear is that beatrice thinks she's a child. what they'll hear is ava's voice cracking with some awful mixture of hurt and anger. 'i'm not being childish. i'm - i'm being scared,' she spits. 'scared and confused and alone because the one person who is supposed to be helping me keeps lying to me!'

beatrice's eyes go wide, flicker over to the fridge and her stupid salt container on top.

'do you think i'm - i'm stupid? huh?' the idea hurts but the heat flares and stings and ava feels like she's on fire so the hurt isn't hurt, it's just fuel. 'you think i don't notice when you sneak off? when you take calls and messages all the time and pretend like they're about something else? when you stay late at work?' she says with a mocking edge, because beatrice has told her exactly that three times in the last two weeks and it's getting stale.

'it's the busy season -'

'are you serious!'

the halo flares and the water in the sink overflows with the force of it, displaced, slops down to the tiles and splashes all over. mugs knock together with dull clacks beneath the water, the sound deadened, drowned. 'stop lying to me. you keep telling me to trust my team but what the fuck does that mean? do you even know?'

beatrice has no answer. she stands in the living room, empty-handed. offers ava nothing in return for her questions.

something cracks in ava's chest and an awful thought bubbles out, filling her chest until she can't breathe. beatrice doesn't care, she doesn't care, she's just standing there and ava has spent too many years begging people to care, to help, to go through it all over again. especially with someone who took her face between her hands, who spoke into her ear as she was passing through pain and stone, and promised to care. promised to remain.

ava drags in a shuddering breath, turns sharply away. she plunges her hands into the sink to rescue the mugs from beneath the water, beneath the waves her halo flung into motion.

'i don't have a team,' ava tells her, voice dull. 'the only person here with me is you and if you don't - if you don't talk to me or - or trust me then we're not a team. you get that, right? it's not about following orders anymore, beatrice. there is no order anymore. not when things are fucked up like this. so it's gotta be about figuring it out together, that's what a team is, isn't it? and even if i can't help, even if i'm - s-slowing us down or doing it all wrong, you're not helping by lying to me.'

the apartment is so quiet now that ava isn't yelling but her head is ringing and she nearly misses it when beatrice starts to talk, so quiet is her voice.

'i shouldn't have lied.' ava snorts. flings the sponge onto the side. 'i didn't want to trouble you with -'

one of the mug cracks in her hand. ava hisses under her breath, spins back around to jab a finger at beatrice. a blod of suds, barely red, lands on the kitchen table between them.

'you didn't want to tell me anything because you thought i'd run again.'

'no.'

beatrice steps forward, into the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes wide. 'ava, no, i never thought that! i -'

for a moment, a very un-beatrice like strain is evident on her face and the part of ava that is hurt and on fire wants to take it as proof, as some desperate scrambling to put together a better lie. the hurt is potent, sick and harsh like a knife in guts, twisted. but there is a much bigger part of ava that likes beatrice—hates to see her hurting, struggling—and so she waits and watches as the strain breaks, as beatrice pushes past it. sees, for the first time since they barricaded themselves here in this nowhere town, the boundless care that beatrice had offered so freely to ava back in a room full of concrete and chrome.

'i am so truly sorry,' beatrice murmurs, takes another step closer around the table. reaches for ava in one moment before she folds her hands behind her back in the next. a different strain, much more completely conquered. 'i'm sorry, ava, that my actions led you to that conclusion. i know you've changed. i know your dedication, your focus. your - desire to see this through. i see it,' beatrice insists, raw and honest.

with each word, ava feels herself calm. the electric sting of the halo settles.

'it was never a question in my mind that you would run again.'

'then...why? why hide -' ava gestures to the salt container, to beatrice. 'whatever it is?'

beatrice looks ashamed. even when she explains, there's still something missing, something just out of reach that ava cannot hear and beatrice cannot - will not? - say.

'you are working hard. and making vast improvements in everything you do. and so,' beatrice says, and moves to the fridge, pulling out her burner phone, 'when camila began to send me updates and it was all bad news - all of it - i asked her to send it only to me in, what i see now,' she says, tone wry, 'was a misguided attempt to help you. i didn't want to add anything more to your plate - you're dealing with so much already, ava, i only wanted to...spare you that,' she confesses, words barely more than a breath by the end.

ava frowns, not with the weight of anger, only attention. she nods, slowly. 'okay. i - can understand that, i guess.' she huffs. leans her head back, stares at the light on the ceiling.

it's glowing bright. beatrice must have changed it at some point, ava swears it was flickering yesterday.

reaching behind her, ava pulls the plug from the sink. it gurgles as it drains. she peeks over at the braced beatrice.

'so. you do trust me, then?'

a smile, achingly sweet. 'yes, ava, i trust you.'

'oh.' ava pushes her fingers through her hair, forgetting suds and sink water and the little bit of blood. she wipes her hand dry on her shirt, ignoring beatrice's grunt of dismay, or maybe disgust. 'sorry for yelling at you.'

'and i am sorry. for lying. and calling you childish. that was uncalled for.'

they stand together, a few paces apart, just staring at one another. ava is the first to move, exhausted, swaying forward into beatrice. she drops her head heavily onto the other girl's shoulder, curls her arms around her in a way she hasn't dared to do for days. beatrice exhales shakily, breath hot against ava's hair, her ear, and brings her hands up as precisely as she always does. right hand to the back of ava's neck, fingers pressed to her hairline and no lower. left hand against ava's right shoulder blade. then, the tiniest shift. beatrice's littlest finger lifts from its place on ava's hairline; it touches back down, cold, against the agonisingly bare skin of ava's neck.

'do you - can you forgive me?' beatrice asks, very very quietly. 'can we try again?'

there's not much space between them but ava finds it and banishes it, moves closer, hugs beatrice a little tighter. turns her head, nose to neck. 'yes,' she mumbles. 'yeah. i do. we can.'

beatrice nods against her. 'thank you.'

#tagging my stories #prompt fill #warrior nun #avatrice #set in oh the first couple weeks of the switzerland arc somewhere around there #the FIGHTS are DELICIOUS i wanted to try my hand at one

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misguidedasgardian · 7 months ago

Text

The Lifeaters (III.6)

VI. The shrieking shack

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: Christmas Holidays prove to be quite illuminating

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia, classism, charms and curses, might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3 k

Notes: Anyways… I’ll keep this party going… I’m so excited about the future of this story, and lack of readers is not going to deter me jkajaja “Somos pocos pero buenos”, that’s what I say

“One last trip to Hogsmeade before the term ends!”, said Pansy, “I’m going to get my parents presents there”

“That’s actually a great idea”, you said with a wide smile, “I’ll get my aunt something there as well, something she can’t find anywhere else”, you said excitedly. There was snow on the ground, so you and Pansy were actually excited to wear your matching hats, scarfs and mittens

You gathered with the rest of the Girls, Mili, Daph and Tray, and you went together, arm in arm, barely letting anyone through your wall of girlies, it was so fun.

You picked presents for your aunt, and some interesting artifacts for yourself, as the girls picked some things for themselves and their loved ones, you also thought about buying something for Draco, but you had never been much creative regarding gifts, so you bought many little things that you’d think he’d enjoy, his favorite sweets from Honeydukes, a couple of pranks from Zonko’s, this year’s figurine album from his favorite quidditch team, and many packages of figurines.

You were happy with your purchases, and you couldn’t wait to go home for the winter break.

School was going great… but… you wanted to go back home to rest, and see your aunt, and just be home for a bit. Classes were tiring

You were walking back from the town, reaching the crossing that lead to the shrieking shack, when Draco, followed closely by Vince and Greg ran so fast they barely missed

“Wow!”, you exclaimed, “Draco! what is going on!”

He could barely speak, he mumbled something about the shrieking shack and about Weasley and he kept running like the devil was chasing him

You saw odd things everyday at Hogwarts

. . .

You were watching seven year students playing races on the frozen lake as you had prepared to depart Hogwarts for the Holidays

You wondered what Bubbles did in the winter, when the lake was frozen

Bubbles was the giant squid that lived in the lake, you named him

Did he hibernate? Curious things Squids

You didn't want to take your whole trunk with you, for that, you had bought a bag, and there you took with you your favorite pieces of clothing, and some personal things, and your gifts. Draco grabbed your shoulder and signaled for you to keep walking to the carriages that were waiting for you.

“Are you going to France for the winter break?”, he asked, and even though you might think that is a good idea, you shook your head

“No, I’m staying here”, you said, as you had exchanged letters with your aunt

“I though your aunt would want to… leave here”, you frowned when you heard him, and you were going to ask him why, but you were interrupted by Pansy and Matthew

“Ready to go?”, she asked excitedly

“Sure”

It was hard to find a moment to talk to Draco where Pansy or Matthew weren’t there, you couldn’t even talk to him about what happened near the shrieking shack, and he wouldn't talk about it in front of others either. You got inside the open carriage, and you were thankful you were wearing your wool hat and scarf.

Umbra hooted in her cage, as she was fuzzy, it was cold out and she was idle for most of the semester, so you opened her cage mid ride in the carriage

“Go home”, you commanded, she seemed happy to be let out, she opened her huge wings and flied away from you

“This year's Christmas ball is going to be magnificent”, Draco muttered, “since last year it was a small affair, this year, we are going all out!”, your friend told the group as you were seated on the train back to King’s Cross station

And you were kind of excited for the Malfoy’s activities, even though you had noticed your aunt pulling out of their invitations

The ride was quicker than you remembered it, and in less than five hours, you were being hugged tightly by your aunt

“Tu m’as manqué, mon amour”, she whispered in your ear

“tu m'as manqué aussi”, you answered back

As you turned to the side, the Malfoys were there, greeting Draco of course, they turned to you

“Cercille… Little one”, Lucius greeted, Narcissa hugged you tightly, “we will see you in the manor soon I hope”

“Yes Lucius”, my aunt answered quickly, placing her hands on your shoulders, “see you in a couple of days, alright? I will this this lady home first”, she said happily

And you left before the other parents, the Notts, or Parkinsons… and all the rest joined in

You found yourself happy to be home as you crossed the threshold, you greeted Jolie, you aunt’s familiar, a beautiful long-haired siamese cat, and kept going down the hall to your room

“Hello mom”, you greeted your mother’s portrait, which was hanging on the wall next to your bedroom door. She smiled and nodded, she was so beautiful, only seventeen when that portrait was painted, she never said anything, she only smiled at you calmly

And over an early dinner, just the two of you, she was filling you in on her last trip to France, and that you may go in the summer

“We have been invited to the Malfoy’s for the entire Christmas week, and I said yes”, your aunt informed you

“Really?”, since you had remembered your aunt had been attached to the Malfoys, but since you started Hogwarts you had gotten the impression that she wanted to draw a line between both families, but this year… spending the entire week at Malfoy manor… your aunt’s face? something was off, something felt weird, like you were taking a preventive measure or something

You didn’t know anything -yet-, about protective spells, but the ones around the house felt more… thick… more powerful, you didn’t even know how to explain it, but they felt different

Your aunt was nervous, you could see it, was she concerned?

Has this had to do with… Sirius Black? Because what else? He was the only thing different this year… you remembered from the summer… the way she reacted when she heard he had escaped? he was only a few years older than her… so, maybe they knew each other from school?

How to approach the subject with her?

You told her about everything, about how Defense against the dark arts was finally being what it should be, about how Quidditch was being great, about your friends, about how beautiful Hogsmeade was… all of it, even Pansy and Draco, and how uncomfortable you felt, but you didn’t want to ruin either friendship

The very next day you were getting ready to go to Malfoy Manor, for a fancy dinner, and then to stay there for the rest of the week.

So when you were already dressed in your more… fancy clothes, to get ready to go to the Malfoys, you went to her room to raid her jewelry box for that floating diamond necklace you liked so much, you catched her putting her earrings on

“Did you know Sirius Black?”, you asked her bluntly, she was so surprised by your question she dropped one, which you easily picked up for her

“Wha- Why…? Why would you ask me that?”, she asked quickly

“Because you have been like this since the summer!”, you said, “and I know you did something to the protections around the house”

“How can you know?”, she asked

“I don’t know, but it feels… strong…”, you said dismissively, “Don’t change the subject”, you demanded, and she thought about it, looking straight into your eyes

“Yes, of course, he is only three years older than me”, she said finally, “so we shared like… four years in Hogwarts, and he had a reputation of course, everyone knew who he was”, she said, turning to the mirror and starting on her makeup, “and of course we all knew his group of friends”, she said, “James Potter, Remus Lupin…”

“My professor against the dark arts?”, you asked

“And another… smaller… pathetic little fellow”, she muttered dismissively, “Can’t remember his name, anyways, everyone knew who they were, they were inseparable”, she kept speaking, “jokers, troublemakers, they were brutally mean to Severus Snape”

“My potions professor?”, you asked

“The abuse was brutal”, she kept it going, “So they weren’t friends with the Slytherins, and after they got out of school, the first wizarding world broke out”, she said more slowly, carefully, “they were some sort of revolutionaries, they were the opposition, it was a shock to everyone what happened, turns out, Sirius black was a spy for Voldemort all that time! He betrayed his friends!”, she told you, scandalized, “and he told "You know who” where they were hiding…”

“Who?”

“The Potters”, she said slowly

“Harry Potter’s parents?”

“Yes”

“Why do they say he is the chosen one?”, you asked her

“That night, when You know who went to their house to murder them… they say he tried to kill Harry too, but failed, the spell seemed to have rebounded, and he was cast away”

“Is he dead?”, you asked him

“No one knows”, she said back

“But why would “You know who” would bother to kill a family of 21 year olds?”, you asked

“It is said it was a prophecy, that a boy born at the end of july would be the one to end the dark lord forever or something like that, prophecies are a dangerous thing…”

“So, Potter was born at the end of July, so he might be the boy who was promised, to end the dark lord, he goes to murder them, tries to, but his curse rebounds and he gets wiped out instead”, you said

“Yes”, she said

“And that is why they call him “the boy who lived”?”

“Indeed”, she said

“And Sirius black wants to kill Potter…. why?”, she seemed to think about it, really think about it

“I’m not sure, maybe he wants his old job back”, she said dismissively

“But “you know who” is gone!”, you muttered

“He might return”, she said, very seriously

“So why are you so nervous about Black?”, you had never heard your aunt take any side on the first wizarding world, and she was in the thick of it, being friends with the followers of the dark wizard, but you had never heard her speak in his favor, or against him

She looked at you through the mirror

“It's just, it brings back a lot of memories”, she said, “I want us to be safe”, she muttered

“But why would he come here? if that’s what you fear?”, you insisted

“I’m just guessing, that… with everybody looking for him, you know? Is not that crazy to think… he would look for someone… familiar, to help him”, you stared at her… there was something else… something more, and then you giggled

“You just said he was no friend of Slytherin…”, you gasped, scandalized, “DID YOU FANCY HIM IN SCHOOL?”, you teased, and she blushed scandalously

“NO!”, she said

“YOU DID!”, You teased back, “I mean, I don’t blame you, you didn’t know it back then, were you his friend in school?”, you asked her

“NO I WASN’T!”, she said quickly, with a comical face

It was fun to tease her

. . .

“Stop it!”, she snapped, as you were looking up at her and only smiling, as you were in the front of Malfoy Manor

“You know, without all the crazy, I can see the appeal”, you teased

“Enough”, she said with a playful smile

You were received by their house elf, and led to the dining room. You were embarrassed to admit that you were late, your line of questions had made it so.

The table was set, and you were not the only ones attending the meal

Matthew was there, in the company of a young man, there was also Theo, accompanied by his father, Gregory with his mother, Vincent by his parents, you were the only girl, at least of your classmates.

“Please sit”, signaled Lucius, they were barely on the appetizers, so that was good

“Sorry for the delay”, she said apologetically, taking your seats right next to the Malfoy family

“It was my fault”, you murmured

“Its of no consequence”, you could see the familiar longing in Narcissa’s face when she patted the seat next to her for you to occupy, she was always so kind to you, so tender, and you appreciated it, she was like your second mom

“For those who don’t know, this is Cercille Basilik, accompanied by her niece, my goddaughter, (y/n) Basilik”, presented Lucius

“Daughter of the mythical… Guillaume Basilik” muttered the man seated next to Matthew

“That’s the one”, your aunt said uncomfortably

“What brings you here? so far from your Father's empire?”, he asked next, your aunt was having such an interesting day with all those questions

“Well…”, she started, it was a complicated story, “My mother’s family was from Britain, and when my parents decided to separate, she brought us here to live”, she tried to explain it as easily as she could, of course it was severely more complicated than that

“I didn’t know Guillaume had a son…”, and he then looked at you, he was a very handsome man, with sharp features, piercing green eyes. Of course, since you carried your aunt’s last name, he would have thought you were the daughter of a “son”

“He doesn’t”, she said, starting to get angry

“So she must be Aminthe’s daughter”, he said now looking at you, you felt all the looks of the table on you, you didn’t like it at all

“Yes”, you said firmly

“Narcissa, this soup is just to die for”, commented Vince’s mother, and you all quickly changed the subject

Who was that guy? uncle Lucius didn’t even introduce him.

It was an uncomfortable dinner, to say the least

That very night, you snuck into your aunt’s room

“What are you doing darling?”, she asked

“Couldn’t sleep”, you whispered

“Come here”, she invited you to join her, and you did

“Why did you decide to accept their invitation?”, you asked, she cuddled you near her, kissing the top of your head

“Do you trust me?”, she asked, you nodded, “you’ll just have to know, this was the best thing”, she said

“There is not going to be a Yule Log, or our pajama morning”, you whined

“Don’t be a brat now, we can have those things next year”, she said simply

The Christmass ball, a few days later, was, as promised, exquisite.

Narcissa decided to go for more of a classic look this year, so mistletoe arrangements were hanging from the ceiling and between the chandeliers, with beautiful red fruits, and everywhere you could see there was green, crimson red and gold

You wore a shimmering red dress, matching with your aunt

“Like the blood I now shed”, you had say making her laugh

You were wearing matching mistletoe crows, like you used to do when you spend Christmas together at home.

As you were now thirteen, you were made to… “participate” more of the ball, you were forced to be there, mingle, and even dance

Dances were pretty natural for you, but you were always allowed to, “excuse yourself”

You looked at your aunt, and she was being questioned again by that mysterious man, she looked incredibly uncomfortable

“He is my uncle”, Matthew was by your side in a second, “Morfin Gaunt”

“Is he?”, you asked

“My tutor, legal guardian”, he completed, and you were thankful, that after three years, you finally knew something about Matthew’s family

“What happened to your parents?”, you asked bluntly

“They died”, he said simply, “what happened to your dad?”

“I don’t know who he is, nobody can or will tell me”, you said

“Hum, curious thing, I bet anybody in this room filled with people knows who he is”

“Are you suggesting I just start randomly asking?”, you said back

“How else are you going to know?”

“My aunt told me she was going to tell me when I’m ready, and I believe her”, you said defensively

“Maybe he was one of the Dark Lord’s faithful servants, and he is in Azkaban”, he teased

“Wouldn’t that be something”, you mumbled under your breath

“Want to dance?”, he asked bluntly. You looked at the dancefloor and Draco was dancing with Pansy very comfortably

“No, not really”, you whispered, you looked back and gasped when Theo’s father invited your aunt to dance.

He was very handsome, now you understand where Theo got it from, he had deep blue eyes, and chestnut colored hair a bit faded because of age, but his face even though it looked severe, it was still sharp. He was a real silver fox

“You seemed uncomfortable of my uncle’s line of questioning”, he kept going

“Well, with the people we surround ourselves with… one would think they wouldn’t take kindly to an illegitimate daughter, am I correct?”

“I’m an illegitimate son”, he said dismissively, “nobody asks many questions”

“I guess not”, you said, deflated

“Trelawney said you were going to know your other half…”, he said, “perhaps you are near to discover who he is…”

“I might”, you said

Were you right in waiting? Why would they keep this information from you? You were certain the Malfoys knew who your father was

He must have done something… maybe something terrible? was he a murderer? You grew up with this… but now… the uncertainty was pulling from your chest, a need to know was growing strongly and steadily inside of you.

Why would they keep it a secret?

You knew your parents had you very young, almost in school… So maybe… his family disapproved? maybe they disowned him, casted him away, maybe they were awful, and your aunt didn’t want you to meet them until you were indeed ready, what other reason could there be?

But still, you wanted to know so badly.

#misguidedlifeaters #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #slytherin!reader #slytherin #slytherin house #draco malfoy #matthew gaunt #mattheo riddle #mattheo x you #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n

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vibratingskull · 1 year ago

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The Trial part 2 : Don't turn your back

Part1, 2, 3, 4

Thrawn x f!reader

The trial continues and everything go south when you fall for the enemy's strategy...

The morning temperature is suffocating. You didn’t do a thing and you already want to run naked to the lake.

You open the tent and crawl out grunting, what a way to start the day. You observe the landscape at your feet, you don't hear Thrawn coming behind you; You nearly jump out of your skin.

“Maker! Sir, please make a sound next time. You will kill someone one day!”

He doesn’t answer, instead fixing the tent squinting.

“This is not your tent?” He asks, sounding a bit lost.

“I slept with Eli last night.”

Cosblo whistle in your back. You roll your eyes.

“You're a dunce, Cosblo.”

“Each group needs one” He shoots without missing a beat, it takes a smile off your face.

You turn back to a Thrawn staring at you with brows frowned. You’re taken aback. What did you do to deserve the cold shoulder like that? You didn’t…

Oh no.

Did he notice you last night?

You’re frozen in place under his gaze, you wish the earth could swallow you right here and now.

But he just closes his eyes and passes you. You release your breath.

“I am not sure this is the correct circumstance for a display of such behaviors, but I understand stress gets the best of us.”

What? Did he just insinuate…

“What does that mean exactly?”

“That I hope your… relationship will not interfere with the mission.” He warns with a cool tone.

What is going on here?

Eli took this moment to appear.

“ ‘Morning everyone.” He yawns.

“Good morning, Casanova!” Cosblo high fives Eli who blinks in confusion while you spat out your caf. This is ridiculous!

Thrawn takes the floor before you could interject.

“Once you have eaten, we will continue north until we reach the cliff I found yesterday.”

“Shouldn't we head west?” Cosblo intervenes “We won’t cross a cliff but a plateau, like on the map.”

“Well observed cadet, but it would take us a day or more to walk up there. I suggest we go for the shorter road.”Since nobody objected, you all rolled with it. “And while I am at it: Vanto, (y/l/n)? This is the last time this happened.” Eli's still lost and looks at you in hope to have some explanation, on your hand you're out of your mind. What the hell? You bare your teeth but don't answer anything. Keep calm,J. C.,keep calm.

You swallow what’s supposed to be a breakfast and your protests, pack your stuff and on the road again. It takes you a solid hour to attain the said cliff and once here you're stopped by the breathtaking view of the region.

A wow escapes you as you try to take a better view of the panorama.

“I regret I don’t have my imager to take a picture.” You say.

“Interesting to hear.” Thrawn slides beside you.

“Yes, I take a lot of…” You stop mid sentence “I will never let you see my collection.”

“Why not?” He asks genuinely surprised.

“You will psychoanalyze me over my dead body.”

“I did not have ulterior motives.” He simply responds.

You shake your head as you approach the edge. A fall would be extremely brutal at this height, surely some broken bones and if you're unlucky a broken spine you estimate.

You walk back to the group who’s taking out the climbing gear.

“Who’s going first ?” Ask Eli, leaning slightly to the edge of the void.

“I will.” You decide.

You drop your pack off the cliff and take the rope and the grip to start your descent carefully, one step after the other, trying your best not looking down. The stone is sharp and scorching hot, slashing the palms of your hands. You clench your jaw and push down. You plant the grip and pass the rope through it, checking if it’s secure and continue down below. You breathe out counting in your head to forget the height below you until your feet touch the ground and you can breathe correctly once more. You wipe your sweat off of your forehead and signify to the group that they could come down too.

Cosblo goes first, you hold the rope letting it slide as he descends. It went smoothly, and he reached the ground without problems.

“I will signal the next one, survey the surroundings.” He tells you.

You take your gun off your back and observe the vicinity, concentrating on sounds and visual cues. An animal flees in the bosques with a rustling sound but you don’t locate anything else.

You hear a thud and a cry of pain.

You go back running and find Eli on the ground holding his leg with Cosblo kneeled next to him.

“What happened?!” You shout.

Eli grimaces in pain, unable to respond. Cosblo begins to give way to panic.

“I… I don’t know. I was holding the rope then something hit my head and…”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“You dropped him?!” You fume.

Cosblo doesn't respond, looking everywhere frantically like a solution was under a random rock. Eli tries to spread his legs and lets out a whine of pain from his mouth. You kneel next to him to support him.

You knew you couldn’t trust this guy! He took it at the first occasion he got and now Eli is hurt with a cracked bone or worse. You feel rage growing in you.

Thrawn appears next to you out of fine air.

“What happened?” He asks way calmer than you.

“Cosblo dropped Eli!” You spit.

“Something hit my head!” He pleads.

“Bullshit!”

“Quiet, both of you!” Thrawn cuts off.

He helps Eli take off his boot to observe his leg, he wrinkles his nose as it’s already starting to swell. Eli winces as he manipulates his limb.

“He will need bacta treatment and perhaps a splint.” He diagnoses.

“What?” Eli is incredulous.

You look daggers at Cosblo who’s defeated, you don’t buy his little scheme even if he plays it well. You put your hand on Eli’s shoulder in a recomforting gesture.

“That’s your fault Jamwest!”

“I told you something hit me. Someone is here looking at us right this moment!” He says with a rock in his hand.

Thrawn raises his hand to shush everyone.

“Silence! What is done, is done. Now-”

He stops and fixes a point behind him. He quickly turns back.

“Help him on his feet.” He orders, “We need to move.”

You and Cosblo put your arms under Eli's shoulder and rise like one man. You follow Thrawn laboriously in the tall grass and bushes, adrenaline through your veins, until he stops with his fist in the air. He listens and points to a small cavern well hidden under the vegetation.

You crawl inside with Eli and Cosblo as Thrawn walks out the trail and starts climbing an enormous tree on the other side. You all wait in complete silence, barely daring to breathe, that something happens. Finally, after a minute, you can hear the sound of a little group emerging from where you come from.

“They went that way.” One whispers,“Let's go!”

You squint as a dispatched group appears behind the foliage, with great strides.They are five. The first one waves at the others to advance, their rifles in hand. They are clearly on the hunt.

One stops a little ahead of Thrawn, they are sandwiched between you. He flattens himself against the wood and points you as he takes out his gun. You frown, what does he mean?

“Are you sure you didn’t lose them? We can’t see them anymore.”

You suddenly remember you have the sniper rifle, you detach it off your bag and posture yourself. You will need to be quick, you don’t know what kind of sound it will produce.

You inhale and exhale several times, emptying your head and aim.

One loud clack echoes in the jungle and one person collapses. You don’t take the time to savor your victory and pass to the next. Alerted, they all stopped and regrouped with their weapons drowned, ready to shoot anything in sight. Impossible to have a clear shot with all this movement.

“They’re here! Regroup! Regroup!”

Back to back they form a circle to cover every possible direction, they well learned their lessons. You choose your next victim in this commotion and aim. She flashes red and collapses before you could pull the trigger, Thrawn was more rapid than you on this one.

“They are dispatched! Search!”

Thrawn takes a second one, but betrays his position by doing so.

“Up! They’re in the-” You shoot this one up. Silence!

The last one realizes he is alone and starts searching frantically, spinning again and again. You put him out of his misery with a well placed shoot in the chip. All his body turns red and he falls down silently.

You sigh with relief, not bad for a first encounter. You crawl back out and help Eli as Thrawn already starts to investigate their package without regard for one adversary whining right next to him.

“Bastards! You-”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” You shoot her in the chip too. She makes a strangled noise and blacks out.

“That was uncalled for…” Cosblo starts, supporting Eli.

“Shut the fuck up Jamwest Cosbblo.” You articulate every word. “You’re not in any position to comment on my behavior.” You slide the cannon of your rifle towards his chest. The ire you felt was far from down.

He stares at you wide-eyed, taken aback.

“I have found the cylinder.” Thrawn notes on a conversational tone.

You turn your head, approaching him, or rather moving away from Cosblo. He had already taken out the datapad to plug it.

“Is it the B team?” You ask over his shoulder.

“No, but I am curious about that data.” He starts to analyze.

It takes a minute once again and the results appear on the screen.

“So?” You try to unclench your jaw.

“It is just auto generated text and numbers.” He pouts. His shoulders seem to lower a bit.

“Perfect! Are we going?” You ask with a false enthusiasm.

You don’t wait for any answer and start walking straight forward.

A deeply irritating calm voice stops you on your tracks.

“Cadet (y/f/n), it is useless to go this fast. We have a wounded comrade on our arms.”

“I’m not a dead weight either.” Eli speaks, a bit annoyed.

You take a deep breath through your nose.

“Sure. How insensitive of me.”

And you go back.

The group walk in silence, safe for an occasional whine of pain from Eli and the encouraging words from Thrawn. You lead them with angry steps, well ahead, ruminating on what happened, playing the scene again and again. Imagining Cosblo letting go of the rope and letting Eli fall from this height. That bastard. You couldn't believe it, but here you are.

You try to calm down, but you know that once you started it, it takes you time to go down again. You hear Cosblo whispering to Eli.

“Your girlfriend has some serious anger issues, dude.” You swear you’re gonna punch this guy.

You choose a plateau covered by foliage to drop your bag and let Eli rest. They sat him down on a rock while you're circling aimlesslyl, trying to put your mind at ease. But to no avail. Everything gets on your nerves at this moment, the precarious situation, the pained expression of Cosblo, the whines of pain of Eli, the orders of Thrawn, the heat, the trial…

You need to isolate yourself.

To clear your mind.

You put your rifle on your back and start walking again in a random direction.

You hear Thrawn calling you back but you choose to ignore it, going deeper in the unfamiliar jungle. The more distant the better.

He calls you once more and you accelerate. What do you need to do to get one minute of tranquility?

You hear steps behind you, you start to run.

The steps go after you. You hear your name again.

You run without thinking right in front of you, blinded by anger and frustration. You hear them getting closer but you don’t slow down.

You reach a large clearing and you stop to catch your breath. The steps stop and you're greeted with an icy cold voice.

“Cadet (y/n) (y/l/n)!”

You frown. You’re in no mood to take the beat without shouting back.

“Sir, I assure you this is not the right time.”

“Cadet, you will come back to the camp right this instant.”

You turn to face him.

“No.”

“No?” He squints.

“No.” You insist

“I am your Lieutenant and you will follow my orders.” He detaches every single word.

This is the only language he understands, the hierarchy.

“Oh really? I thought we were comrades earlier?” You frown.

“This trial doesn’t erase the hierarchy.”

You snarl.

“We’ll see that. If I’m really insubordinate as you claim, then the instructor would surely have struck me down by now.”

It’s his turn to frown.

“Perhaps.” His voice is warmer but the menace is undoubtedly here. “But you’re making a mistake.”

He takes one step towards you like a predator, by reflex you draw your weapon. His eyes widened an instant but went back to his imperturbable mask of stoicism just as quick. You blink, torn between anger and a growing fear, but you muffle this last one. You’re really flirting with the red line.

“Cadet…” He warns “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

“If I’ve learned anything about you, it's that you like to play this game yourself.” You retort. “You wanna bet who’s gonna win this round?”

You draw your rifle closer to your face, aiming at his chest. He surely thinks you’re bluffing but you’re dead serious. You know you can be a real hazard when you’re pushed to your limit, that’s why you wanted some space to calm yourself in the first place but he doesn’t facilitate the task.

He takes one more step.

You shoot between his feet.

A loud clack rings in the clearing. Some birds fly away. You look at each other in silence. You feel yourself trembling with rage and tension.

He raises an open hand as an appeasing gesture.

“Cadet, let’s get back to the camp if you please.” The voice is soft but the tone is commanding.

You shake your head. You feel this weird tension from those three last months bubbling out to the surface and you’re afraid of the explosion.

“No. Listen, I just need some space to breathe, can you understand that?”

“I am afraid not, it would be playing in the hands of the adversary team.”

“The one we just beat?” You snigger.

“We may have just defeated them, but their initial plan is still unfolding at this very moment and it will be profitable to the others very soon.”

“What plan?” You’re losing patience.

“Creating dissension in the group by striking Cosblo.”

“Don’t tell me you believe this jackass?”

“I do.”

Once again you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“I asked you to be a reasonable person, you remember? Eli is mature enough to not let it get to him, I trust you can do the same, cadet.” He is trying the diplomacy tactic now.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but not at the moment! Taking the risk to repeat myself but I need-”

A clac rings in the clearing but none of you shooted.

You feel a burning sensation and compression on your side as you lower your gaze. You see red slowly spreading on your hip.

You’ve been hit.

You’ve been hit!

You freeze in disbelief, you don’t see Thrawn sprinting towards you and hitting you with all his weight.

“Dive!”

You hit the floor with such impact it forces the air out of your lungs. As you cough you hear people shouting and running towards you. You’ve got company!

But you don’t care. You barely register what’s happening.

You’ve been hit.

lt hurts.

There is so much red…

Blood.

You’re bleeding.

A breath gets caught in your throat as you go into panic. You’re bleeding!

“Bleeding… I’m bleeding!” You croak.

“Calm down cadet (y/l/n).” Thrawn’s voice barely reaches you.

“I’m bleeding! I’m bleeding!”

You go into a frenzy, crying and clawing at your wound. You will bleed to death if you don’t receive treatment, maybe the corvette won’t be fast enough.

“Everything is okay Cadet! You are in shock...”

“I’m bleeding! I’m gonna die!”

You start crying, scratching your face, drawing blood, screeching.

Suddenly a pair of strong hands seize your shoulder and shake you one rough time.

“Cadet (y/n)!”

You look at Thrawn wide eyed and mouth agape, impossible to make a single sound as they all get stuck in your throat. Thrawn’s looking at you, jaw clenched and brows frown with an intense stare. You feel a tear rolling down your cheek as you try to speak but just open your mouth slightly more.

Thrawn visibly relaxes and his tone soothes as you stop screaming.

“Everything is good cadet, you are not wounded.”

A hiccup escapes you as you start sobbing.

He sighs and his hands pass behind your neck, bringing your head to his chest. The rhythmic sound of a steady heart reaches you and lulls you.

You're frozen in place, unmoving, eyes wide open and silent under the warm body of Thrawn. Eyes fixed on a point away, you’re pressed against his chest where you can hear his steady heartbeat and your heart could sing if only you were fully aware of your surroundings and not terrified at the same time. You start contemplating on how you ended up in this position…

You can feel him cradling you gently.

“Everything is fine. Nothing can reach you here.” He murmurs.

You blink slowly, starting to come back to your senses, still shaking with sobs. You realize you’re not in the clearing anymore but on your knees in a dark cavern only illuminated by luminescent mushrooms. How did you get here?

You take a deep breath to stop the hiccup and you pull apart from one another, you nod as a thank you and get back on your feet.

“Where are we?” You ask with a shaky voice.

“We are in a cavern as you can see.” He responds. “I managed to drag us here while you were in shock.”

You nod. You look around but don’t manage to find any daylight. How deep are you?

“The other team…?” You begin.

“Will not be a problem for now, but we should refrain from retracing our steps back.”

He wedges his gun on his back and takes out his comlink.

“Cadet Vanto, can you hear me?”

Static noises ring to give place to a relieved voice.

“Thrawn? Thank maker, I tried to join you several times! Is (y/n) with you?”

“She is. We ran into an ambush.”

“You’re okay?”

“Everything is fine, we escaped them through a network of caverns. It will take us a day to get out, we will need to regroup. Can you see a tall reddish tree?”

“A tall red tree… Yes!”

“We will come and meet you there in one day. Do not stay where you are, they must certainly scavenge in your zone.”

“Understood. Over.”

He puts back his comlink and invites you to walk deeper in this cavern. He explains as you look uncertain.

“There is a web of caverns but they all lead to the outside. I have studied them on the datapad earlier, I can guide us through it.”

You’re not even surprised anymore.

You nod once again and he takes the lead in those sinuous ways.

You walk in silence. With the fallout of earlier all your fear and anger has dropped, you just feel a nagging fatigue but you focus on the present moment. You travel side by side, helping each other with the different obstacles. It is especially difficult with your locked suit that hinders your movements in addition to being painful. But you manage to walk past it and your progress is relatively uneventful.

At some point Thrawn stops.

“No need to go further for now. Resting would be best, we should go back for the first hours.”

Without some real choice you stop and head towards those shiny mushrooms.

“We should test it first for poisoning.” You hear behind you.

“Ha yesh’, thatch a goo’ ideach.” You respond, the mouth already full of those goodies.

Oops.

He looks at you and shakes his head with a tired expression.

“Forget what I said.”

You swallow, discreetly, and shoot a smile. It’s really sour. Guess you will know if they're poisonous soon enough.

You gather some woodish plants that are sneaking around the wall of the cave and Thrawn starts the fire with a good old method: two stones.

You sit and look at him through the flames, contemplating your situation. It upsets you, but you owe him excuses, to the whole team.

“Thrawn I…”

His flaming gaze darts on you, letting you know you have his attention despite is mute behavior. You swallow your pride.

“... I’m… sorry… for what happened.”

He remains silent, inviting you to continue with one gesture of the hand. He really wants you to go all the way, huh?

“I shouldn’t have run this way and left the team vulnerable, but I was in a bad headspace and did what I thought was the right course of action. In insight, it was a terrible idea.”

You manage to finish. He slowly nods.

“I hear what you say, and I thank you for honesty.” He murmurs. “Can I ask you where those bursts of anger come from?”

You frown at him.

“From what I have seen… and comprehend, I suspect them to be the symptom of ptsd for your case. I was wondering if you had the chance to talk about it to someone.” He says, thoughtfully.

“I…” You commence, gathering your thoughts, wondering if you wanted to share this story.

Your gaze travels through the interior of the cavern, ending once again on the eyes of Thrawn. You’re enthralled by them, getting the courage to continue.

“I hate when we let each other down because… because when I was a child I…” You gulp, eyes fixated on your fidgeting hands. “I saw… one of my cousins got slain by a rival family. And we weren’t there to help him. We were hiding in the bushes with some of my siblings and cousins and we saw him get shot in the head by them.” Your lips tremble, you fight back tears.

“You were a child, you could hardly do anything else other than hiding.” He says softly.

You nod.

“Yes, it was logical. The only logical thing for a child to do.” Your voice breaks. “Only he was fourteen. We should have… we should have gone get an adult.” You feel a tear traveling down your cheek. “Do something…”

You wipe the tears with the back of your hand.

“You must take me for a hypocrite,” You smile without joy ”I say I hate when people let each other down and I did it the first chance I got.”

“I think we all grief our own ways, your own manifested in an unfortunate way today.” He states pensively.

You don’t respond, relieved that he doesn’t bury you with reproaches yet.

You rub your hands and expose them to the fire. This cave is freezing cold.

You slide yourself way closer to Thrawn.

“If I may, it’s to warm up.” You smile timidly.

He doesn't respond, letting you bring yourself closer to his warmer body and the fire.

You clear your throat, desperate for a conversation subject.

“But… I suppose… I mean I guess, you also had some terrible ideas in the past?” You try, murmuring too.

His gaze travels from you to the fire, contemplating his thoughts.

“I did.”

“No really? I wasn’t serious, what kind of terrible ideas a tactical genius like you can have?” You laugh, your eyes still moist.

“My brother died because of one of my plans.” He whispers.

Your laugh dies immediately.

“We were fighting pirates, and he met his demise in the crash of his ship under my commandment.” He said, his gaze fixated on the fire like the face of his brother was in it.

You’re struck by lightning, don’t know what to say. So you remain silent.

“Sometimes I wonder what if I had done things differently, would he still be here?”

“That is the best way to go mad, trust me. I did the same thing.”

“I know,” he breathes, “But the mind wanders without reason or guidance…”

Your mouth is dry, what could you possibly say to alleviate his pain? You clear your throat.

“Don’t dwell on the past, you should just… Be grateful to have known your brother.”

This is surely the cheesiest response possible, but you don’t have better for now. Comforting is not one of your fortes, much to your regret.

He doesn’t answer, nodding pensively still fixated on the fire.

Silence settles again.

You try something to lighten the atmosphere.

“You wanna know a secret?”

He looks at you, head resting on his hand.

“Cosblo and I, well… We’re exes.”

He frowns, staring at you head to toe, visibly surprised.

“You didn’t expect this one, didn’t you?’

“I must admit, I did not.” He looks like he’s trying to digest the info or to glue back two incompatible pieces.

“Well, not a lot of people are aware of that. It’s a secret we share and hide from the rest of the galaxy.”

You really want to pry on his love life but it might wake up some pain, and you figure you both had your dose for the night.

You continue.

“It dates back to high school, he reminded me of one of my star crushes that I saw on the posters of the Empire. It ended the day I tried to introduce him to my family, they didn’t try too hard to present like… “respectable” people and he ran away. He has given me a bad reputation since.”

“Without passing judgment, you seem to be doing just fine now.”

You frown, what does he mean?

You recall this morning conversation.

“Oh, you mean with… Eli?”

He blinks affirmatively.

“No!” You laugh in embarrassment. “No, no. Eli is a sweet guy, but he’s… I am… He’s not my type.” You try to explain “He’s like my little bro’ at the Academy.”

He pouts.

“A pity.”

“You are judging now.” You warn.

“My apologies.”

You continue to discuss this way until late in the night, about everything and nothing. Or rather you’re the one talking, Thrawn only nods or answers with evasive sentences, you thought he was a bit bored but he was always reactive in the discussion, his attention fully on you. But the opening of vulnerability you saw earlier is clearly sealed. And like that you fall asleep next to one another, searching each other’s body for warmth now that the fire had extinguished, and in spite of your suit that makes every possible position uncomfortable and a bit painful.

At some point a little regular sound gets you out of sleep, you blink trying to remember where you are and realize you were sleeping on Thrawn’s shoulder, his head resting on yours. You move away carefully not to wake him up, and you actually take the time to detail his resting face. The last time you got to see him sleeping you were tempted to kiss him. You berate yourself at the thought of this childish display of want. Now that you take the time to think about it, you would want nothing more than to embrace him with all your might and him embracing you back with enthusiasm, to hear his heartbeat again and feel his hand caressing your hair softly. You still want to kiss him you confess, oh gods you do, but this wish subside in front of the desire to make one with him, one heartbeat.

You gently trace the contours of his cheek with your finger, dreaming your fantasies while admitting to yourself, finally, that you were falling in love.

The regular sound gets you back to reality and you realize it’s your comlink once again. You rise up on your feet and move away to another chamber for privacy. You open the transmission and a screeching sound with static assaults your ears. You flinch, it’s terribly disagreeable. But you can still hear a discordant voice in this cacophony, a voice that you guess is of one of your cousins in “the business”, but impossible to say which one. The audio is horrifyingly chopped, but you manage to take out some words.

“Hello?”

“... hear me…”

“What? I can barely hear you.”

“... careful… … new meat… market… … governing…”

And it cuts.

What?

You don’t understand.

You gather your thoughts, trying to make the most of it. Apparently there is a new “product” on the black market, but “new meat”? You don’t get it.

And why warn you? You’re no more part of the business of your family. It doesn’t make sense.

Lost in your thought you don’t hear Thrawn walking away from your hiding place. You decide you will have the mind clearer once in the morning and get back in the chamber where you left Thrawn. You found him in the same position as you left him. You smile interiorly, placing yourself back, your head on his shoulder. You deeply inhale his scent, and close your eyes.

The morning comes way too quickly to your taste, waking up is proven difficult and the prospect of breakfast with those mushrooms doesn’t help. You eat reluctantly and go back on the road soon after.

Once again you progress uneventfully. Until you found something at a turning point.

“What the…?” You start.

You open your eyes wide at the sight of a 74-Z speeder bike laying there.

“What is it doing here?”

“They mentioned vehicles if I recall. They must have scattered them through the region for the teams to find.” He supposes.

“Wonderful! We can join Eli and Jamwest way faster now!” You cheered, jumping right on the seat.

You work the gear but nothing happens.

“It doesn't work.” You lament disappointedly.

Thrawn kneels next to the speeder, eyeballing the transport.

“I see. It is a test to evaluate our mechanics abilities.”

You sigh, not another test. Can nothing work like it is supposed to just for once? You get off the speeder and kneel in front of Thrawn.

“Alright, so what do we got?”

“Hold this.”

It takes you two hours with bare hands to work on the bike, a lot of things were plugged and turned and your skin was pinched to blood more than once, but finally, after several fruitless tries you turn the gear and a rumble echoes between the stone walls of the cavern.

You can’t refrain from a cry of joy.

“Hell yeah! Give me five!”

But Thrawn just squints at you with a confused expression.

“Here, that’s how you do it!”

You take his arm and top his hand with yours with a broad smile. He looks at his hand with a raised eyebrow but doesn’t comment anything.

Sometimes humans really puzzle him.

He takes place in the driver seat and you take place behind him, a little disappointed to not drive, but you soon forget it as you get to take him in your arms. You press yourself gleefully against his broad back, your cheek resting against his warm body. His scent fills up your nose again, and you breathe it joyously.

He makes the motor roar.

“Hang on!”

No need to tell you twice.

You flinch as he starts the engine and picks up speed instantly. You see the walls pass before your eyes at high speed as you fly like the wind. The road is uneven and bumpy, forcing you to snuggle yourself against him tighter, it’s a good excuse and you take full advantage of it, feeling your heart beat faster against him. Flying like that makes you feel like you weigh like a feather and everything is lighter. You feel your ponytail flowing behind you, even your suit seems to less compress you.

Soon you can catch sight of sunshine.

The exit. Finally

You burst out of the cave at full speed, it takes off the ground and you yelp in surprise. You drift on the tall grass and almost plummet off the bike but you’re holding on.

His driving is clearly not the most agile you got to see but it does the job, you close your eyes as low branches come scratch your face. At this moment a shadow passes between the trees next to you. You blink. Did you really see that? You squint and focus. But you see noth- Here! It disappears as quickly it appeared, but you clearly see it this time!

“Thrawn!”

“I know. They are just behind us.”

You hear them more than you see them now, but you’re unmistakably followed by other bikers. You come out on a plateau without forest and three rivals appear behind you with the urge to fight. You gulp at their expressions, they are determined and seem prone to violence.

They’re riding a 74-Z similar to yours, at the difference that they’re faster. You clench your jaw as you realize that you’re technically a dead weight behind Thrawn and you slow him down considerably.

Despite that you feel him accelerate and start zigzagging between the trees and the boulders, they follow without too much difficulty, and get some terrain over you. You hear them laugh as they harass you.

“They are still following us!” You shout over the noise.

He tacks fully to the right, almost throwing you out off the bike, and rushes into a trench. You‘re taken off your seat for seconds until the hard landing, you bang your head against his back.

They’re right on you but are limited by the width of the trench at least.

You shot a glare behind you.

“Dive!” Thrawn warns.

You have just the time to hunch, you pass under a massive trunk. You feel the drought as it grazes your hair. The second pursuer didn’t see it tough and you hear a dull sound as he rushes into it at full speed. You feel for him on this one, he will be very lucky if he doesn’t have the jaw broken.

“Shit!” You hear his teammate swear.

The nice side effect is that his fall slowed down the third one dramatically, the less nice side effect is that the first one is still on your heels and she’s really, really angry now.

She extends her hand, trying to grasp your ponytail. You sweep it away with a large gesture of the arm, throwing both of you off balance. Thrawn rectifies the best he could, but the weight doesn’t help. You emerge from the trench into a plateau in a cacophony of noisy engines and bended sheets of metal.

“Come back here freak! I know you have it!” She screams.

Anger rises at this nickname, you suddenly really want to punch her in the face. Well, you can’t, but you just thought about something almost as satisfying.

“Keep a straight line and let her get closer.” You enjoin Thrawn.

He complies and you see her smile enlarging as she gets on you.

“You’re about to get what you truly deserve, blueface!” She yells.

She acts like she already won. Good, she will be less cautious. You wait for her to get next to you and in a smooth motion you pivot on your seat and jump off.

You land off behind her. You didn’t hit her with your knee as you wanted, but that’s okay. You pick up your gun from your back and slide it under her throat while she tries to maintain the balance of the vehicle, you violently bring your arms back and pull her off the controls, she lets a strangled noise escape her as she tries to ease the pressure on her throat. You spin and let her fall almost carelessly. You look at her rolling in the dirt with a satisfied grin.

You dive onward and take control of the handlebars before you collide with something.

“Two for the price of one!” You shout gleefully to Thrawn.

He nods and slows down at the limit where the jungle starts again, you both stop and look behind. Away you see the third one, stopped too, looking back at you like he is trying to make a decision. You give him a dark look, fully prepared to bring it on if he’s starting again. He stares at you both and turns, retracing his steps towards his fallen comrades.

You observe him pick up the girl when Thrawn speaks.

“It appears I have made a miscalculation.”

You turn back to him in surprise.

“I’m sorry?”

He reaches into his pocket and takes out the cylinders.

“I wanted to take care of it because I am confident in my abilities, but it appears in insight that as the odd one out, I am an obvious target.”

He holds out the cylinder to you. You look without understanding.

“They expect me to have it, we should contradict those expectations.”

You nod, taking the cylinder and putting it in your pocket.

“Let’s go.” Thrawn simply says.

You follow, with the engines at the bare minimum to minimize the noise and you travel for an hour in silence, until you finally see the red tree Thrawn talked about. At last.

Tree grants you shadows but, once again, the temperature is merciless. You raise your hand to shield your eyes and see Eli waving at you. He looks already in a better state than when you left him. You feel a pinch of guilt at his smile.

“What do you got there?” He asks.

“Two brand new 74-Z speeder bike.” You announce proudly.

“I can see that, but where do they come from?”

Thrawn explains to Eli all of the situation while you look over his shoulder. Cosblo stands slightly set back with a closed expression. You both cross-eyes. You offer a contrite smile. He nods.

“What happened (y/n)?” Eli finally asks.

You sigh and decide to put all your cards on the table.

“I needed some time alone to take stock of the situation and I put the team at risk by my sole selfishness. I want to say I’m sorry.”

Eli put his arm around your shoulder.

“And you’re pardoned. Don’t cause us another fright like that again.”

You laugh alongside one another.

“But tell me, you’re radiant. How’s your leg?”

He stretches it in front of you. It got a splint.

“Brand new like your bike! Jamwest did the splint.” They use each other’s name now?

“Did you know he got medical skills thanks to his mother who is an apothecary?”

Yeah, it reminds you of something.

“Now that you're here, we got good news.” Cosblo announces.

Everyone turns towards him.

“We’ve located the B team.”

@bluechiss

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn x y/n #thrawn x you #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #jaw crusher #fanfic #vibratingskull

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