#we could have gone full socialist... we could have stopped participating in wars......

[faunandfloraas]

Listening to a podcast about pine gap aka the us spy base in alice springs and even though I already knew about it, still it really just galls me

[xaz-fr]

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Set in a fantasy world of the semi socialist society Fey Alliance with magic, dick head dragon riders, benevolent necromancer, and even bigger dick head gods of mischief. The Zealous Servant is the story about a guy named Spayar who, basically, has to keep his crown prince of a bff from being murdered by his entire family by murdering them first. Honestly though Spayar just wants to take a nap and find a cute boy to kiss and not have to worry about his corpse potentially being dragged through the street after a war. Better win that shit then.

@barkingjester @golden-lionsnake @deadpool-scar-bro @bromeliadgoingdragon

So a thing of note here. There is zero alcohol drinking in the Alliance. It's got a lot of history in their culture as being a beverage of slave owners and the Alliance is SUPER anti slavery so in turn they don't drink except for some small areas. Instead most citizens of the Alliance do recreational drugs similar to weed or mushrooms or other opiates for the same reason they're anti alcohol. Plant based drugs was seen as a thing only slaves did and was very low class so because the Alliance is literally a country founded by freed slaves they kept their drug use roots. Not being able to handle your smoke has the same sort of social stigma in our culture as not being able to hold your drink and being an annoying/violent drunk. So if you want to smoke, you better keep your suit together and know when enough is enough or be labeled a high menace.

Also formatting is trash because Tumblr on iPad is also trash

Chapter 5: A Well Behaved Man

The day of Paja’s naming day it was like a switch had been flipped in the Garden. One day it looked as it had when Spayar had arrived save for a bit of construction and then he woke up and the entire Garden was different. Garlands covered nearly every plant, lights inside paper cups lined every pathway, every tree and bush had been forced into bloom by a faunamacer and all work had been suspended. The grounds of the Garden had been turned into a festival with cute animals to be pet by the children and games had been set up to participate in. A faunamacer had even been employed to make a living jungle-gym for people to climb on that would probably be gone in the morning. Several stages had been set up overnight for gymnastic displays and various rituals and bands.

And there was food everywhere. Pasta in more shapes than Spayar could comprehend covered in dozens of different sauces. Various roasted vegetables on sticks and mountains of fruit some he recognized and some he didn’t. But no meat. The only animals in the Garden were at the little petting station for the children. 

Spayar saw the food and all he could think was that the Nedalians must have been fairing better harvest wise than other parts of the Alliance. That or they had been stocking up specifically for this. He tried not to let that ruin the mood for him.

Von didn’t even seem to notice any of that and all he saw were the festivities. “I wasn’t expecting an actual party,” Von admitted.

“They just worship Lemp, they aren’t somber,” Spayar said.

A smile pulled its way across Von’s face. “This is cool. Let’s go see,” and he grabbed Spayar’s hand to go have breakfast. Spayar had no choice but to follow. He wasn't exactly happy about it. Von had decided that while he was in the Garden he was going to dress like a Nedalian man. Traditionally, because they lived in such a warm climate, Nedalians wore only what absolutely necessary to preserve their cultural modesty. That meant covering the chest, stomach, and back for women and the no shirts for the men but full pants.

Usually Spayar had no problem seeing men shirtless. The Nedalians who dressed like that didn't bother him at all. It was just Von. Standinh or walking around looking half dressed without a shirt. He looked almost at home in the Garden too with his summer bronze skin and sun bleached hair. He was doing it to make Helida like him more, and it was working. It also had the side effect of making Spayar forget what he was even thinking and sometimes even what he was saying. He was trying not to be miserable about it but when he had to worry about a coming Conflict being distracted by Von's abs was not exactly helpful.

Food for the entire day was already out in the morning as Von dragged him to the big paved courtyards for breakfast, being kept cool or hot by the appropriate elementally aligned warlock. They gladly picked at the offerings. Von was fond of the sweet pickles and honey glazed breakfast tarts made of custard and topped with berries. Spayar made sure he ate things other than sweets but he didn't know why he bothered. Von always pouted at him when he reminded him to eat properly and Spayar wasn't as immune to him as he thought he was. 

Before long the sun started to rise and they sought the shade of strategically placed awnings all over the Garden along with other Gardiens seeking their own respite from the heat.

They sat on the grass in front of a stage where a band was playing. Three wind players and a percussion person with a pair of hand drums. They were seated in the shade but playing to liven the mood. Around them the Garden was alive with people but most had done the same as them and were resting in the shade. Or the adults were. The children didn’t care about the heat and were still running around, playing the games, yelling happily or bothering the animals.

Spayar started when a man came and sat down next to them. Most of the locals save Helida ignored the two of them and everyone knew they were ’royal envoys’ with only the governing family knowing who they actually were. He was black like Spayar but not nearly as dark but from across the Sea. Most dark skinned people in the Alliance and the east had curly, kinky, wirey hair that could be brushed out into magnificent afro halos of hair. Typically west coast Shard peoples and beyond had wavy hair or greater loose curls. It was a way to spot a foreigner at a glance if they were darker skinned and didn't have proper peaked Feylon ears like this man didn't. He wore his hair close to his scalp and had a full beard dotted with traditional flower adornment of married men with children. If Spayar recalled it was two varieties for two children. “Prince,” he grunted with all the casualty of someone who wasn't afraid of someone of nobility. Spayar was mostly annoyed he didn't recognize them. He liked to think he knew everyone of the governing families but it was so easy to overlook the men of the Rosalia. They had little to no power or authority in matters of state and rarely made any waves because of it. That didn't make Spayar any less annoyed.

“You might have me confused with someone else, friend,” Von said with a joviel smile.

“Pretty sure I don't. Unless you're here calling my wife a liar?” he said mildly and gave Von a cool look with his pale gray eyes.

Von looked confused, “Not at all, Lord Necromonger, we just didn't recognize you,” Spayar said quickly. At least now he could place the man and also knew why he didn't know him.

“Funny that,” Ilnta Rosalia said and picked up a pipe from his side. “Care to share?” he asked with the same casual familiarity he'd been using all along.

“Depends,” Von said slowly. “What’s in it?”

“Just storm weed, mixed with some perfumes,” Ilnta said and leaned back on one arm. Spayar had a type but that didn't stop him from thinking Helida’s husband was a beautiful man. Maybe the Nedalians had the right idea with having them men folk go around without shirts on all the time.

“It’s like a mild version of modica,” Spayar told Von who looked confused. Storm weed was only smoked along the gut and Western provinces while modica, a smaller and hardier plant was used in the central Alliance to achieve the same effect. It was a fairly mild drug, easy to think through but lifted your mood pleasantly. Spayar had only heard of storm weed while serving time but the westerners always compared it to the more centrally popular modica.

“Then yes,” Von said with a smile. “Allow me,” and he reached a hand out. With a delicate twist of his fingers a spark jumped into the pipe and the weed started smoking gently. Ilnta took the first pull before handing it across Spayar to Von.

As Von politely took a pull he gave Spayar a look. He had no idea who this guy was despite Spayar naming his title. “What brings you here, Lord Ilnta?” Spayar asked when Von handed the curled pipe to him next.

“I like knowing what's happening in my Garden,” Ilnta said and rubbed one of his wide bangles. “Especially you two.”

“We’re just here for the party,” Von assured him. Spayar handed Ilnta the pipe back, his lungs full of smoke. 

Ilnta took a small hit and looked them both over. “No one comes to the Garden for parties. Come up with a better lie, your highness,” he said.

“You are,” Von said like a jackass and Spayar wanted to smack his hand across his face but knew that wouldn't help.

Ilnta looked from Von to Spayar and gave him a sympathic look. Why, Spayar had no idea. Was it all over his face? Great. “I live here,” he said. “My Governor asked me to make sure you were enjoying yourselves, and staying out of trouble.”

“The Governor is very hospitable,” Von said.

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” Ilnta asked Spayar.

”I keep business and pleasure separate,” was all he said.

Ilnta’s lip curled up at one side. “Very well d’aelar,” he said so respectfully that it made Spayar nervous. “We’ll see if we can't do something about that,” he handed the pipe back to Spayar. He didn't much like the sound of that. That sounded a lot like what Von said before they and their other friends had ended up stoned dancing on tables at a bar in Smoker’s Den. It had been fun but Spayar had been so burned out the next morning and in some strange man’s bed. It had turned out to be the son of Baron Hothrod, which hadn't been at all a pleasant morning leaving the manor in Assarus and had to walk all the way home from Fey’s Shadow to Bellringer in his clothes from the night before. Spayar tried to temper his ’fun’ after that. He cautiously took a drag of the pipe and Ilnta got to his feet.

“What was that about?” Von asked, lookimg after him as Ilnta walked off.

“I’m sort of afraid to find out,” Spayar said slowly.

“Let me have the last one,” Von said, holding out his hand for the pipe. Spayar gladly gave it to him as he kept his eyes trained on Ilnta where he was talking with a group of men.

“Try not to get too stoned tonight,” Spayar said, looking away from the group to Von. 

“Why not?”

“I don't think we really want to party like some Lemp worshippers.”

“You’re the one who keeps saying they're just people.”

“Yes, but first hand experience from serving time tells me that when people who live a regimented life style are allowed off their chain it can easily get out of hand,” he looked back at Ilnta.

“Don’t have fun on a naming day, got it,” Von said.

“That isn't what I meant-

Ilnta came back over with two men. One was older and clean shaven with features similar to Helida. Brother? Spayar knew she had one but not much beyond that. The other was bearded with a shaved head and a single red poppy woven into his beard. Spayar wasn't sure what was about to happen and it made him nervous. “Can we help you, gentlemen?” Von asked as he tapped the ashes of the pipe onto the ground.

“I heard you weren't here to have fun on my neice’s naming day,”said the clean shaven man with a full wide smile full of white teeth, arms spread. He had mischief in his dark eyes and Spayar was going to live to regret this. He already saw that in his future.

“Nonsense,” Von insisted. “We just… don't know how you do it out here.” Spayar knew that was the exact wrong thing to say when Ilnta and the man with the poppy also smiled the same smile Helida’s brother did.

“Well come then, we'll show you,” he offered a dark hand to Von. Von glanced at Spayar before taking it and was hauled to his feet. “There’s a exhibition starting real soon. It's better on this,” he handed Von a glass of bubbling liquid the poppy man had produced.

“Uh… I know you necromongers aren't warlocks but I can't drink,” Von said apologetically, ready to gracefully bow out of whatever nonsense this was. Thank the gods.

“It isn't alcohol, don't think we'd insult you like that,” he said nicely. “It’s dissolved.”

“You can do that?” Von asked, blue eyes wide.

“Won’t know if you don't try,” Ilnta said encouragingly.

Spayar got to his feet, took the drink out of Von's hand and knocked in back in two gulps. “I would prefer if you didn't hand him something we don't know.” He wasn't going to let his prince drink some mysterious liquid with who knew what actually in it. That and Ilnta seemed like the same sort of annoying guy as himself who refused to accept no as an answer and knew he could get away with anything as the husband of the Governor and High Necromonger. What a jackass. No wonder people said Spayar was annoying sometimes. 

“You drank it,” Helida’s brother said.

“I’m expendable, he's not,” Spayar said casually. “Let’s keep it familiar.”

“Hmm, I think that can be arranged.”

“Well we are here, we might as well do as the Nedalians do,” Von said helpfully.

“That’s the spirit,” Helida’s brother said and clapped an arm around Von's shoulder. Von just gave him an uneasy smile. “You stick with Od and we'll have a good time!”

“What’s this exhibition?” Spayar asked. He was already starting to feel whatever it was he'd drunk. It wasn't alcohol, he'd had that just to see what it felt like. This was more like mallium as a drink. Meaning he couldn't let Von anywhere near it. Von's favorite was mallium and he didn't need to be stoned and chasing after an equally stoned prince. That always led to disaster.

“Ever seen a contortionist?”

“A whats-onist?” Von asked.

“Someone who can contort their bodies into crazy positions,” Od explained. “That’s why it's better high,” he grinned.

“If you say so,” Von said slowly.

“Moddi, Ilnta, let's find something else for our guest since his friend was so eager to try it first.”

Spayar didn't like any of this. He also knew better than to stop any of it. If Helida had sent Ilnta to see how they were doing it meant she would approve of this. And that she expected her guests and perhaps future allies to participate in the way her own people did. That didn't make him feel much better. He went over to Ilnta’s side when Od led Von over to where adults were smoking and casually keeping children from getting their hands on the substances despite them just wanting to mimic the adults.

“Why are you doing this?” he quietly asked Ilnta.

“Doing what?” Ilnga asked casually.

“You know what I mean.”

Ilnta looked at Spayar, “You really must relax, friend. Your hair will go gray,” and he mimicked Od’s position on Von with him. “It’s my daughter's naming day. You think I care what you're doing here? About a petty royal dispute? Not even in the slightest. You two just look out of place. Sober, dressed up,” he glanced up a day down at Spayar’s clothes. Spayar rolled his eyes. Ilnta leaned in close to whisper into his ear, the sound of his voice making his ear tingle, “You’re not the only ones here.” Spayar didn't react. “So relax,” he squeezed Spayar's shoulder.

“That is the last thing I'm doing now,” Spayar said, giving him an exasperated look and trying his best to stay focused. “What was in that drink?”

“Calshoi oil from the south. Nice right?”

Spayar stared at Ilnta for several seconds. “I severely underestimated you.”

Ilnta grinned, his teeth a thin white slice against his dark lips, “Don’t feel bad kid,” he said, clapping Spayar firmly on the shoulder. “Everyome does. You'll be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Just relax. That's what she wants.”

“You must not know him because Spayar never relaxes,” Von declared, standing before them again with Od.

“Sounds like a challenge,” Ilnta said, squeezed his shoulder again and before Spayar could complain was directed across the field. Od spoke with Von the entire way but Spayar couldn't focus on what was being said. The calshoi was hitting him hard and so was whatever Von had taken. As the hottest part of the day broke people came out from there shelters where they'd been relaxing, smoking, and socializing, going to find more food, drugs, or some exhibition or band to loiter in front of. 

That made the rest of them in good company as Spayar and Von were led over to a low stage where two Nedalians, but not native to the Garden, were seated on impossibly thin stools wearing skin tight clothing covered I'm vibrant geometric patterns. What wasn't covered in fabric was painted in the same style. They waited until they'd gathered a crowd before a string player Spayar couldn't see started to play a quick bouncing beat. Spayar stood, unimpressed, as the women got off their stools, bowed to the small crowd and Spayar wasn't even sure. It looked like they folded themselves over each other and around in a way he could only describe as snake like. 

He ended up staring open mouthed at the way their bodies bent and twisted, limbs looking broken as they took impossible poses. They used each other and the stools as props and moved only to the poppy beat of the music. The longer he watched the more the calshoi took effect and their geometrically patterned clothes and painted bodies became even more exaggerated and impossible. He couldn't look away and now he was very glad he'd taken that drink from Von because Od was right. This show was way better on it.

Then almost as soon as it started it was over. Spayar was aware that it was the drugs distorting his feeling of time but he didn't mind. He clapped with the rest of the crowd and the contortionists bowed one more time to them before climbing back onto their stools to wait for the crowd to change to do it all over again.

“That was so cool,” Von said. “I’ve never seen anything like them.”

“Yes well the rest of the Alliance doesn't have the same good tastes as us,” Od said and was steering Von away. Spayar followed and grabbed the back of his belt just so they didn't get separated. Von didn't notice and was talking to Od. They arrived at another stage, this one with a full band of bright horn players and three sets of huge drums, all played by shirtless men. Spayar just stared and forgot what was going on. While in the shade it was still warm and they were playing high tempo music and jumping and stomping their feet so their skin glistened with sweat in the bright coastal sunlight.

“You alright there, friend?” Ilnta asked him when he stood, stupified.

The next words out of his mouth were only because he was high and only Von laughed at first, “Are any of them single?” Once it registered with their hosts they snorted.

“Afraid not. They're all married,” Od said teasingly.

“What a waste,” Spayar said which earned him more snickering. Even though it was true. What a waste of good looking men to be married.

“Do you dance?” Od asked Von.

“Not to this? I don't think. Spayar, do I know any eastern dances?” he poked Spayar in the shoulder, distracting him.

Spayar blinked at him. “Von, I don't know anything. I'm really high right now,” he said right to his face which just made Von erupt into a giggling fit so hard it got the others going and after a few moments the entire area of people around them were laughing for no reason other than they were all the same level of stoned and laughing sounded like a great idea. Spayar didn't understand what was so funny. He'd just said the truth.

Once their direct area of people had settled down a bit Od said, “Well show you one you don't know then,” with one of his big white smiles. Von just smiled and nodded and allowed Od to pull him to where people who hadn't been infected by Von's giggling were dancing to the rowdy music. 

“And what about you?” Ilnta asked him.

“What about me what?” 

Ilnta snorted, “Do you dance, d'aelar?”

“I do but I'm not nearly high enough for you to get to see,” Spayar said.

“That’s a challenge you don't want to give me, friend,” Ilnta said.

“No. I don't dance,” he changed his mind. “You’re not cute enough got that,” he added because if there was a cute boy around who wanted to dance with him he'd dance with them. But he'd already made up his mind that all the men in the Garden weren't attractive enough for him. Sober Spayar knew that was a lie. Sober Spayar had also made up his mind about that so that high Spayar wouldn't end up in some random guy’s bed. If he found a cute boy that is exactly what would happen and he needed to keep an eye on Von. He looked around. “Where’s Vondugard?” 

“Just there,” Ilnta grabbed her shoulder and pointed to where Od and Moddi were having the best time ever being high and attempting to show a high Von how to do what they were doing. Western dances were a lot more foot work than central or southern dances Von was practiced in. “Feeling relaxed?”

“Against my will, but yes,” Spauar grumbled.

“Good enough!”

Spayar ended up sitting on a bench and watching while the others of their group danced to the banging drums and wailing metal horns. He tapped his foot, bobbing his head to the beat but didn't participate other than that. Only when the band was done to take a break did Von stumble over to where he was. His eyes were a bit less shiny than before, more focused. “Were you over here the entire time, Spayar?” Von asked.

“Maybe,” Spayar said. While Von was coming down from whatever he'd taken Spayar was still up.

“That was fun but I really need to lay down,” Von complained.

“Of course, of course,” Od said. He was still up too. Spayar wasn't sure Ilnta had ever taken anything other than initial storm weed he'd shared with the two of them. “It’s chems so perfect for a break. After was when the Governor planned to host the gift opening,” he added. Then he looked at Ilnta, “It is chems now, right?”

“It is,” Ilnta said with a chuckle.

“Perfect. Let's go.” 

They were marched off to the buffet which had been refilled to some degree. Von just ate whatever was handed to him Od insisted he needed to try. It took Od exactly five seconds to discover Von's sweet tooth and Spayar watched with a sigh as Von ate a chems that was mostly sugar. Spayar just found some partially frozen fruit to help cool him down some more since he was wearing a shirt.

In the few seconds he looked away Od had given Von a suspicious pink cookie that when Spayar got one and smelled knew it wasn't just a sweet. He managed to grab the other half away from Von before he could eat the entire thing. “Hey! Spayar,” he complained.

“Just be sober for the gift opening,” Spayar ate the rest of his just so Von couldn't take it back and it was usually bad form to eat more than one of any laced food at a time. Either it was rude to take more than one or people thought you had a problem. It would keep Von fairly sober to pay attention to the gift opening. Wasn't good for Spayar's state but he'd rather be high than Von be high for this. 

“Fine,” was all Von said.

They picked at the buffet a bit more before adults started gathering up the children and taking them to a central location under a pavilion. That seemed as good an indication that something was going on. Ilnta directed them to where it was happening and left them to find a place to sit or stand. Spayar had to sit. Whatever he'd taken was not mixing well with the calshoi and he really wasn't happy about being vertical.

There was a mountain of presents for little Paja’s naming day. All shapes and sizes. Most in colored boxes but others in silk or painted canvas bags. Paja was only three with an afro held back by a jeweled head band and looked about to crawl out of her mother's arms to get at the gifts. Ilnta stood next to Helida with his hand on a young boy’s head who was the spitting image of him down to his storm gray eyes.

Helida said something about thanking everyone for coming and for the gifts for her daughter before putting her down. The little girl, with the help of her big brother and several of her friends, started opening all the boxes and bags. There was polite clapping or a little cheer each time she got something open. A collection of dolls soon formed an army off to the side and animal shaped toys and there was over a dozen potted plants that were either flowering or were decorative shrubs. There was also a fair amount of jewelry, all of made of wood or stone and brightly colored for a child’s taste. Spayar stopped paying attention somewhere around the twelfth doll and his attention was caught by a sheep shaped rocking horse he was sure was giving him a funny look.

Von nudged him and he started. What was he supposed to pay attention to? His eyes darted across the assembled faces to where Helida was crouched next to Paja and making her stand still long enough to pull her hair back some and pin it into place. When Paja could finally go back to her gifts Spayar squinted at the ornament and saw it was the pretty hair comb Von had bought at Tassa’s suggestion.

He patted the back of Von's knee to get his attention and offered a slightly raised hand. Von smacked the bottom of his fingers against Spayar's in a little moment of triumph. 

Spayar spaced out the rest of the gift opening but he did get startled into clapping with the rest of the crowd once the last gift had been opened. Von helped drag him to his feet. “How you feeling?”

Spayar blinked at him a few times. “Better than you.”

“Thats for sure!” he looked around. “Od, Od,” he waved at Od who was standing a bit away. “My babysitter has divined that I'm allowed to party again.”

Od turned his focus back on the both of them from here he was talking with a scary blonde woman with a red eye. “Oh yeah? Great!” No not great. So not great. “You still up, young man?” he asked Spayar.

“I think the calshoi might finally be wearing off. Don't give us that.”

“Awww, no fun. Very well,” he came around behind them both and looped his arms around both of their shoulders. “We’ll just have to find something else,” and he guided them away from the opened gifts back to the bar. 

The rest of the day passed in a haze of loud music, more food, and Od getting way more stoned than either of them. As night came lamps were lit, the children sent to bed, and harder stuff was brought out. Spayar had sobered up by then and had to stop Von from being convinced by Moddie to try slate. All their new necromonger friends did it instead. It didn't take longer after that for a good natured fight to break out. Said fight ended in three broken arms and a healer being called. Not a single man seemed to mind the broken bones either and just called each other school yard names.

Before it grew too late and who knew what else Od would convince the two of them to take Spayar begged off saying they were tired and needed to go to sleep. A sober woman waved Od away and let them leave. Spayar had to pull Von away.

They made it back to their guest rooms in one piece. Von was practically laid across Spayar's entire side babbling highishly about nothing. Or if Spayar cared to pay attention he was saying stuff about how great it was the Rosalia were going to help him kill his family.

Spayar dumped Von onto his bed once they got inside, still dressed as he was. Once there Von kicked off his boots but didn't even make it to the pillow and it was much too warm for a blanket.

"Goodnight Spayar," Von sighed contently, eyes closed, still high as could be.

"The stuff I put up with because of you," Spayar grumbled.

"I know," Von said dreamily, "but you love it," and he yawned thickly.

Spayar looked down at Von. By the deep, even, rise and fall of his chest Spayar could tell he was already asleep. No shirt and his skin still warm and glowing from the day in the sun. "Why Quen?" he asked the goddess of desire because in that moment he felt so weak looking down at Von laying sprawled out on the bed. Spayar could see his tan line between the deeply tanned, nearly golden, skin, and the pale shade of skin like that started at his pant line. "Why must you do this to me?" he looked up at the ceiling like she was looking down at him from there mockingly.

It'd be so easy to just do something. It was so tempting. So damn tempting. Curse Can'dhe for putting his fate in line with Von's. He had to have a strong will to be Von's friend and not just go crazy because yes, he did want his prince. In his current state he wasn't as strong as he normally was. It wasn't so easy to look past how wonderful he was, how adult he'd become while Spayar had been serving time. He knew he was better than this. Better than allow drugs to take advantage of his state of mind like this.

“I’m not doing it, Quen. Find someone else to ruin,” he mumbled and managed to stumble away from Von's bed. He squeezed his eyes shut as he did so he couldn't see him.

He made his way to the door and paused when he heard Von roll over. He did the stupid thing of looking back. Von was more laid out and Spayar could see the curve of his hips and spine, the softly defined shape of his hip bone pressing against flesh. He closed his eyes again. “Go away Quen,” he whispered even as he could practically feel her hovering over his shoulder, whispering in his ear. It was like he could feel her long nails dragging across his chest, tempting him. He wasn't sure what she was tempting him to do but that didn't matter to the goddess of desire. Spayar’s pain was enough of a necter for her.

He took a breath and walked out of the room. He locked the door behind him and went to his own room. He hated being in love.