#we cant make it THAT EASY for europe to laugh at us

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter eleven !

“I would’ve much preferred to have your brother here instead.” God, he’s starting wonderfully. You and your father never had that good of a relationship, he has always liked your older brother more than you, only because he is a man. “But i feel like you’re going to be useful to catch some attention.”

Useful. Of course he’s talking about you as a tool. You know you’re pretty, you did grew as a beautiful woman and that’s probably the only thing he is proud of you for. “Is your dress different from the one i gave you?” You’re surprised he noticed, but its probably nothing good.

“I did alter it a bit.” These are the first words that come out of your mouth after minutes of silence in the car. Your dad takes a better look at your dress, he sighs right after, starting to walk towards the entrance of the huge mansion the gala is taking place at. “What a shame. Such talent wasted in woman. You know this can only be a hobby for you, right?”

“Yes.” You follow behind, your voice monotone, you’ve gotten used to these kind of comments in the twenty years of your life. You hate this, you hate being here, you hate being showed off, you hate having to smile at whoever he introduces you to and not being able to talk freely.

“Mr. Choi! Isnt it delightful to see you?” You turn around as you hear a woman call your father. She is definitely a beautiful, beautiful woman, and she kind of looks familiar, but you cant really tell why.

“Y/n, why dont you introduce yourself to the lovely Mrs Yang?” You smile at the woman in front of you. “Its a pleasure to meet you, i love the dress you’re wearing sweatheart.”

That honestly makes you want to cry. She’s complimenting your dress? The dress you spent a whole night on? “Thank you so much, i actually altered it myself and-“ You stop when your father puts a hand on your back to stop you. You fucked up. The woman looks at you with a smile on her face, then looks at your father.

“I didn’t even know you had a daughter. Where did you hide such a gem?” You bite your inner cheek, your father is not going to like this. A woman thinking good of you? This couldn’t go worse. You’ve heard of Mrs Yang here and there during dinner, and you know he despises her and only sees her company as competition.

Your father laughs at the woman’s words, and pats your back roughly, it may seem innocent from the eyes of someone else but you know all these pats are gonna leave a mark at the end of the night if you keep fucking up like this. “I usually bring my oldest son, he is the real gem of the family, he is now in New York to close a deal. Don’t you have a son too?”

“Oh yes! He’s finally back from the boarding school he went to in Europe. Where is he…” The woman looks around until she smiles, probably finding her son and calling him towards us. “Here he is, Jungwon is a really hardworking young man.” You freeze when you see Jungwon in front of you. Looking at them side by side.. they look identical, no wonder you found the woman familiar.

Jungwon smiles at you and then introduces himself to your father. You’re about to panic, Jungwon is the son of your father’s rival. This couldn’t go worse, you take a deep breath, your mind starts to get foggy, fuck fuck fuck fuck why did this had to happen to you? Jungwon is about to say something to you when suddenly Sunghoon appears, he puts an arm around the younger.

“Jungwon! My friend! Its been so long, should we catch up?” The woman smiles, probably thinking Jungwon has a good friend with him so Sunghoon doesnt think twice before taking him outside. You honestly feel like throwing up, this night couldn’t go worse. Your father pats your back one more time, in the same rough way as before. “Why dont you also catch up with your friends? Mrs Yang and I have some business to talk about.”

You nod and say a polite bye to the woman. You honestly dont know what to do, your head is spinning and your stomach has never hurt more. You look around for Wonyoung, but she is also busy talking with some other parents, you could go to Jay, but if your father saw you with a man it would probably make things even worse.

The best thing to do right now is just go to the bathroom and wait for all of this to end. So you walk outside, deciding that the farthest bathroom is the safest choice. Once out, you notice Sunghoon and Jungwon fighting, they’re still not throwing hands but its obvious they’re mad. You dont want to get too close, but you need to hear in case this turns out badly.

“I told you, you need to leave her alone. You’re just going to bring her more troubles, you don’t know Y/N. You dont know anything about how things work here.” “I dont care about how things work or how you built your fucking spoiled kids empire.” You sigh, thats enough, you dont need to hear more, you just need to be alone for a second.

You keep walking towards the bathroom, knowing damn well that they could see you, but its not like your care anymore. “Yn” you hear Jay call you, but you just shake your head, not wanting to talk with them. “Yn where are you going?” Jungwon takes you by your wrist, but you immediately get off of his grip, the fear of your father seeing this making you panic even more.

“Leave me alone!” You blurt out quite loudly, your legs are definitely shaking by now. “All of you, i need you to leave me alone, dont speak to me, dont get near me, and don’t touch me!” You take another deep breath, walking a few steps back. “Y/n…” “If you want to help just call Wonyoung.”

And that said you finally reach the bathroom, barely being able to breathe. You try to calm yourself down putting water on your wrists and neck. Maybe you really need to just get away from Jungwon. First it was Minji’s threat, now you just found your father despises his mother to death, this couldn’t get worse.

The second you start crying is when Wonyoung opens the door of the bathroom, the panic taking full control of your body as you sit on the floor. Your friend rushes to you. “I fucked up, Wony i fucked up so hard.” “Calm down, calm down yn its fine. Just tell me what happened, okay?” She sits in front of you, taking your hands in hers.

You take deep breaths, wanting this excruciating pain in your chest to finally end. You let the tears fall freely, not caring about your friend seeing you like this. “I think my father is mad at me and… and Jungwon, fuck. Everything surrounding him is so damn wrong i.. i don’t know what to do..”

“You dont have to do anything, Y/n. Right now lets just calm down, mh?” I nod, resting my head on the wall and closing my eyes. I’m glad Wonyoung is here, i’m sure she is the only one who can calm you down so easily. She sits next to you, letting you rest your head on her shoulder.

“And its not like you need Jungwon. I’m sure you’ll know what to do.”

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[sapphicfolch]

about rayden's song I must say: it's not bad, but we can't let the rest of europe find out that it's like 80% twitter references or they'll have a field day laughing at us

[stxrrywildflower]

six feet under

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - instead of ian doyle being after emily, he was after you. once being forced into faking your death without anyone on your team knowing, you’re ‘back from the dead’

warning - angst, blood, injuries, fighting, cursing, fluff at end

word count - ?

you chased ian doyle through the abandoned warehouse. that man had terrorized you for the greater part of your life. and now, it was down to the final moments.

“i know you’re in here doyle!” you shouted, gun drawn.

“i always knew you find me,” that voice sent chills down your spine as you spun around to see doyle standing in the flesh.

thoughts in your mind about what was going to happen sent chills down your spine. it was never supposed to be like this but here you were.

two weeks prior.

you stepped into the bau office, hands shaking. you had received yet another note from ian doyle, the man who had been trying to kill you since forever. however, there was nothing you could do about it. hotch had everyone looking into his whereabouts. but deep down, you know he wouldn’t be caught.

you couldn’t have sat down at your desk for more than five minutes before another agent came over to you. you recognized her from working closely with strauss. you were then inflated that you she requested to see you.

walking in, the first thing that you noticed was that there was no one else in the room besides you and strauss. ‘this cant be good’ you thought to yourself.

“have a seat agent y/n,” strauss said as she motioned to the seat across from her.

you sat down, desperate to get your shaking hands under control. “i know about doyle,” was all she said causing you to panic even more. “i have a solution. it’s not going to be pretty or easy but it can save your life.” you looked up at strauss who almost had a sympathetic look.

“alright, what is it,” you replied.

present.

you and doyle stood feet apart from each other, each with a gun in hand. “one of us has to make a move,” you spat. doyle grinned at you.

“blackout,” was all he said.

suddenly, the lights in the warehouse went out, leaving you in total darkness. sirens were heard in the distance. you needed to act fast if the plan strauss had given you would work.

the next moment, all you felt was pain. doyle’s hand rested on your shoulder as he plunged a knife deep into your abdomen. he realeased it, the knife clattering to the ground, as he let out a loud laugh and exited the warehouse.

‘stick to the plan’ you thought to yourself.

you wanted to cry to your team for help but the pain was becoming to much. you noticed two figures running towards your weak figure. once in view, you noticed it was spencer and derek. your head was moved into spencer’s lap as you glanced up into his eyes.

orders were shouted from morgan at both spencer and into his communication system. “hey spence,” you greeted, blood slowly begining to trickle out of your mouth.

“shh, save your strength,” he replies, brushing your hair out of your face.

“can’t. need to tell you how much i love you.” spencer’s smile he put on faltered for a moment. “i love you too.”

seconds after that, the paramedics arrived. you were lifted onto the stretcher and other of the warehouse into the ambulance. you looked at your team on the way out, knowing that this would be the last time you saw them for awhile.

before you passed out in the ambulence, you could only think of one thing; ‘this is only step one.’

at the hospital, the two surgeons had successfully repaired you before the head surgeon had wheeled you down to your secret room while the other went out to talk to your team.

once seeing the doctor, everyone stood up. “we’re sorry,” was all he said. from that point on, everyone’s worlds shattered. they had just lost one of their own. hotch said nothing but kept his stone facial expression and walked out with the intent of making a phone call. rossi sat in his chair in obvious shock. you had been like a niece to him. emily, garcia, and j.j. all round comfort in one another, hugging each other tightly.

that left derek and spencer. spencer stood up, hands shaking. he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. derek was trying to keep his emotions as hidden as possible but once he pulled reid into a tight hug, both let loose.

derek hugged spencer tighter as the younger agent cried harder into his shoulder. he pressed his lips together and blinked back tears. he didn’t know how the team would get past this.

two days later, you woke up. the people in your room were the surgeon from before and strauss. they were two of the only people to know you were actually alive.

strauss didn’t say much but instead handed you a passport and a paper with different bank accounts on it. the plan was fairly simple you were to hide in europe until doyle was captured. strauss would then notify you and you could return home.

four days later, you were on a plane to london, ready to start a new life.

two months later.

ian doyle was just caught earlier in the week. other agents would be taking the interrogation process. however, that was only the surface of it. doyle’s son, declan, has been captured by international criminals. the only way to get him back was to work with the man they had tried so hard to capture.

the team had walked into the bau, fully expecting to see a flood of different branches of the fbi in their office. instead, it was earily quite. the only other person in the office was director strauss.

“bau team, a word,” she spoke before moving into the conference room.

the various team members glanced at each other before following the director into the room.

“first off, i wanted to apologize. what is about to occur was something that i had decided needed to be done to ensure the safety of the team as a whole. second, i would like to welcome back agent y/n,” strauss revealed. at that moment you walked into the conference room, stone-faced.

you kept your focus on strauss, not daring to look at your team. however, you were sure their emotions ranged from shock to even scared.

��you’re alive?” was all hotch said.

you nodded slightly. he then took in your appearance. you looked incredibly different from the last time they saw you. sure, you had been bleeding out but still. your hair was a lot longer, and darker too. your normal bright energy was gone and instead replaced with an unwelcoming and cold demeaner.

“now i know this is a lot to take in. but please have an open mind about it,” strauss spoke one last time before going to exit the room. you went to follow but a hand holding your arm prevented you from doing so.

for the first time, you looked up to see your team. the one holding your arm was hotch. “let go of me,” you demanded. morgan moved to shut the door. he know the team wanted answers and they wanted them now.

“you have a minute to explain yourself to me, agent,” hotch said to you.

you suddenly grew angry. “explain myself to you? what is there to explain? faking my own death and fleeing to europe in an effort to escape doyle and protect you guys was not my decision. i do not owe you any fucking explanation of my actions,” you yelled.

the teams expressions were varied. hotch was calm, as was rossi. j.j. and emily had their mouth open slightly. garcia had tears in her eyes while morgan just looked angry. you didn’t bother looking at spencer.

“you left this team in the dust,” was all hotch replied.

you were now furious. “i left you in the dust? would you rather have a bullet in your chest from doyle right now? because it would have happened. it was not my choice to fake my death because let me tell you, if i had the option, i would much rather be six feet under for good than where i am. don’t question my allegiance to the team again,” you practically growled, a murderous edge to your voice, leaving everyone terrified.

with that, you walked out of the room and followed strauss back to her office.

“i can’t take this, i need some air,” spencer rushed out. derek went to go after him but emily stopped him with the shake of her head. hotch went to his office where he put his head in his hands, not sure how he felt about the whole thing.

meanwhile, strauss had dismissed you, encouraging you to make amends with your team or get some air. you chose the latter option. as you stepped into the quartyard our back, you noticed a familiar figure.

you sat down next to him and sighed quietly. “i hate this,” was all you said. after a few moments, spencer turned to you.

“what?” he asked.

“i should be dead. i honestly wish i was dead,” you revealed.

spencer looked at at you. you, however, kept your face straight and emotionless while you just kept looking forward. “strauss told me that it was the only way for me to keep myself and the team safe. i had no other choice.” spencer noticed you had more to say and remained silent.

“i really fucked up my relationship with the team. i forced you all to live with me dying and here i was, alive in europe. i’m sorry,” you added. with that, you finally turned to look at your boyfriend. or ex-boyfriend, you weren’t really sure where the two of you stood.

“we mourned you. i carries your casket and morgan had to deal with the fact that you died in his arms,” was all spencer said back to you.

you nodded your head, “i know. and i’m not asking for your forgiveness. but i wanted to at least try and make amends with one person. figured it would be easiest to start with you.”

with that you stood up, grabbing your bag which you slung on your back. you wanted to go back inside and sit at your desk for the first time and actually do some work.

as you began to walk away, you heard the grass crunch from behind you. “y/n,” you heard spencer call. you turned around to see him, tears slowly flowing down his face. all you wanted to do was reach up and wipe them away but you knew you couldn’t.

spencer walked to you and pulled you into a tight hug. he burried his head into your shoulder. you moved your hand up to run through his hair.

you knew that you still had a lot of work to do with fixing you relationships with your teammates. but in that moment, everything felt like it would be okay.

[blissfulparker]

Not another trick→p.p.

Parings: peter Parker x Stark!reader

Warnings: ⚠️FFH SPOILERS⚠️, angst, fluff at the end

Summary: when peter calls and ask you and Happy to come pick him up. You don’t know how broken he is until he breaks down hoping for you to save him

A/n: so an anon sent in this concept and it was super cute that I got their permission to write it into a fic so thank you anon for your permission. Also this has been tagged as ffh spoilers and under the keep reading are spoilers! I gave you all the warnings so you can’t get upset!

After one distress call from one distraught peter in god knows where Europe, you fly over with happy to save him. He was supposed to be in Rome, maybe Italy, you had no idea since the last time he called was on the plane saying how it’d charge him for the minutes he used to talk. You told him it was okay, to enjoy his vacation while you fix up your still broken family after your father had passed.

He was scared, hurt, confused, upset, you understood how scared he was and you wanted to help him, he was your boyfriend after all.

“Uhh, are you sure this is it?” You look at Happy seeing how you’re landing in a tulip field in a small town.

“This is the where he said and I traced the call and it’s here.” Happy shrugged as he landed in the field.

You are quick to hop out of your seat and look for peter but he’s standing in front of the plane. His hair a mess, face cut up, he’s limping, looks cold, as if he was on the verge of dying. A look you never had seen on peter before.

“Tell me something only you and I would know!” He shouted with his hands out and you give a confused look.

“What?” You call out and he backs up when you try and come closer.

“I said, tell me something only you and I would know!” He was serious. Happy gave you a look telling you that you need to say something, do something to get him on the plane and some help.

“Uhh...once we were making out in my room and my dad walked in and instead of hiding you in my closet I threw you on the ceiling—” before you could finish the story he sighs and runs over to you pulling you into him tightly.

He was cold, loosing blood is what you thought. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and getting beaten up. You felt horrible, like you should’ve known sooner.

“Tell me something else.” He mumbled into your shoulder. He didn’t need reassurance anymore, he just wanted to listen to you talk. He missed the sound of your voice so much.

“You sold your Star Wars toys to take me on our first date, we saw a scary movie and my dad had Bucky Barnes come spy on us.” You laugh and so does he remembering the first date, the two of you saw the movie IT and your dad sent the super solider to come spy on you two. The date didn’t end well although you did sneak peter a kiss.

And he did, he sold most of his Star Wars toys to get the tickets and snacks. He wanted to impress you the most. Although at the time you didn’t care about a movie or snacks, peter was the first boy to muster up courage to ask you on a date. That impressed you the most.

“What happened to my boy?” You look at his broken face and he sighs. He looks over at Happy who gives him a sorry look.

“Everything.” He whimpered letting a couple of hot tears fall and you look over to Happy and the two of you are quick get peter back up into the plane.

Once he got seated and you got him some water and fruit from the back to make sure he gets fluids and food in his system. Happy got busy with working on the gash on Peter’s back, the huge gash needed attention but peter needed you.

“Why aren’t you in Paris? Or London? Or wherever you were supposed to be?” You ask holding his cold, beaten up hands. He cringed at the feeling but then relaxed knowing you were trying to help.

“Mysterio? Have you heard of him yet? The guy who’s been saving the earth?” Peter said the last part as a joke. You could tell he was mad at something, more sounded mad at himself.

“Yes, I know of him.” You encourage him to speak.

“He’s a liar, everything that’s been happening is a fraud. He faked the weather things, he faked being a superhero, everything was a lie—ouch!” Peter cried as happy stitched up his back. “I gave him the only thing Mr. Stark gave to me.” He said the last part quietly with tears running down his face.

“Peter, we’ll get everything under control I promise. I understand—” you start and he scoffs and shakes his head.

“Happy! Please!” He snaps a bit and then looks at you. “That’s the thing, (y/n), you don’t understand! I wanted to have a peaceful summer and hang out with my friends in Europe and not have to deal with any superhero stuff! But I did! And where does that get me? In a stupid town I cant even pronounce with god knows how many miles away from my class and I got here by getting hit by a freaking train! It’s easy for you to be relaxed about this because you get the ‘my dad just died I can’t be a superhero right now’ card!” He snapped, his face beet red and his eyes spilling tears. Too many tears he can barely see. you look at Happy shocked, shocked that this is what peters been boiling up inside of him.

You were upset too, still grieving over your dead father who died from saving the world. But understood, no one expected anything from the starks right now. In fact, no one expected anything from any sort of avenger right now.

You more understood peter. Everyone turned to him after almost all of the avengers shut down. Nat was gone, Tony was gone, Steve is old, hulk doesn’t fight anymore, Clint went home to his family, Wanda is taking the break she deserves, Bucky and Sam we’re doing their own thing, gaurdins were off world just like Carol. No one was here expect Spider-Man. Spider-Man was the worlds last hope in case anything happened.

“You don’t understand, I—i—can’t be what everyone wants me to be. And I miss him okay? I messed up and he wanted me to be the new him and I-I can’t do that.” Peter let’s the last of it out and you joined him on the couch.

“He didn’t want that, do you really think my dad wanted to put all the pressure and stress of being him on a 16 year old kid? No. He knew you were the only person with a pure enough heart to take over, and he knows it’s going to take time.” You let your hand find his. He takes it and squeezes it to remember you’re real and not another trick.

You let him just hold your hand. You’re lost for words since you’ve never seen anything like this. Yes, there was Dr. Strange but he didn’t do stuff like this. This man was much worse and was fooling the whole world. No one knew If he had more people helping him or what his intentions, he was brand new and dangerous.

“Tell me one more thing so I know you’re real?” He mumbled and you pull his head to rest on his shoulder.

“My mothers greatest failures in life was to get my dad to take a break. When he did he saved the world but it costed him his life. Nothing has to cost you your life, you can rest, the world doesn’t need you all the time.” It was true, he knew that all tony did was work and never slept. You always complained about it and now you’re at peace knowing he doesn’t have the world to carry on his back. But peter doesn’t have the world to carry on his back either.

“Also, you’re allergic to short haired dogs and cats and not long haired ones. Because when Morgan brought home a short haired dog you couldn’t stop sneezing and I had to take you to the doctor.” You tell him and he smiles truly knowing it’s you.

“I missed you.” He cries into your shoulder and you pet his messy brown curls. You give him a kiss on the top of his head to let him know you’re here for him.

“I missed you too.” You tell him and look over at happy asking for him to give you a few seconds alone.

“Now look at me,” You wait until Happy is gone to talk. “I don’t really know what to say to someone who just got manipulated so badly the walked in front of a train and got hit by it. But I do know one thing, you’re not the next iron man, you’re not the worlds next leading avenger, you’re not the next anything! You’re just a kid from midtown who collects Star Wars LEGO toys and lives with his aunt. That’s it. That’s who you are. So stop listening to what people are telling you.” You tell him and he stops for just a second to hear the sound of your beating heart, when he was stressed you would let him lay on your chest and listen to the sound of your heart. With being bitten by the spider it had enhanced his hearing and he loved to hear the thumps your heart made.

“Please...please never leave me.” His voice breaks and he let’s a few tears fall onto your shirt and you hold him tighter. Your heart hurt at hearing the sound of peter break.

“I would never leave you.” You whisper letting a few tears fall yourself knowing how all the stress affected him, it affected you as well.

“Now,” You sniffle and wipe your tears before peter can see. “Go Get a suit, kill Mysterio, and send me a postcard from France.” You hold his face and let your thumb graze his dirty cheeks. He press his lips into a thin line and smiled.

You don’t hesitate to kiss your boyfriends lips that you missed ever since he left. He winced a bit in the kiss as his lip was still cut and his whole body still ached. But he relaxed, something he hasn’t felt in ages. You made him feel relaxed and he couldn’t wait until he got home and just fell into your embrace and do nothing.

“I love you.” He whispered loud enough for only you to hear. You smile and kiss the part of his cheek that wasn’t cut up.

“I know.” You nod and let him go.

He takes a deep breath. Knowing everything he’s going to take on he’s going to need it. He reminds himself that everything will be okay in the end, because in the end he has You.

[calleo-bricriu]

work

(( I feel like doing drabbles. Still accepting these despite only having done two of like...five more. ))

Working at the Ministry for several years had, if nothing else, only allowed Calleo to practise an already innate skill at somehow hearing everything being said in a bunch of noise: Ministry meetings often went that way.

Nobody else present found it odd that he was quiet; he often was, especially if they were discussing topics or tactics in which he had no experience and the fact that he wasn't reading something told them he was paying attention and could be asked, at any point, for his input.

The trouble at the moment was that none of them wanted it. It was more familiar and somehow comforting to argue--it had ceased to be a discussion or exchange of ideas and compromise some time go--with each other and they'd fallen back to a very incorrect assumption that when the one at the wheel had had enough of listening to it, he'd simply tell them what they were doing.

Felix typically sat closest to Calleo and he noticed when Calleo reached into that obnoxious bag covered in brightly coloured cartoon parrots. He knew (or at least thought) that Calleo didn't keep wands in there, so it was likely nothing more dangerous than a cigarette or flask of something that was being reached for.

Everyone else noticed, however, what Calleo did was pull out a round, black, plastic ball with a small flat area on the bottom and set it on the table with a loud enough clack to catch their attention. He didn't appear to be angry, or even annoyed, just sort of entertained, somehow.

Felix was close enough to see the white circle and number 8 at the top and buried his face in his hands, muttering something about taking things seriously in Calleo's direction.

"I don't see why I should!" Calleo shrugged lazily and laid a hand on top of the plastic 8 ball. "You all stopped taking it seriously in favour of alternating between arguing and name calling two hours ago, that's hardly taking anything seriously."

"Right!" He picked up the ball. "Since none of you can make a decision, I'm going to ask a completely neutral in the sense that it's not alive and is, in fact, a Muggle toy, what it thinks and go from there."

Ordinarily, someone might have laughed or made a remark or simply asked him what the hell he was talking about but most of them had no idea what had just happening apart from the fact that it wasn't somehow dangerous and that Felix looked like a very tired grandparent of a child with endless energy.

"So!" He tapped the ball, "What do we think of using Felix's intelligence to make inroads in the more remote or difficult to get to Northern Unseen Market routes? Good idea?" After he'd finished the question, he gave the thing a few good shakes then flipped it over so the flat side was facing him before showing it to the group.

"Oh, hm, well, that's unfortunate; is it because there's a higher chance of interference from behind the crumbled remains of that Iron Curtain that still have strong ties to the Russian Unseen Market?" Another shake.

"Figured."

"Calleo--" Felix began, only to be cut off.

"Felix, look, you lot have been all but shouting insults back and forth and I've sat here quietly and listened to it--clearly, I've listened to it--if I had to put up with you acting like overtired children you get to put up with me acting like a garden variety children--child--you know what I mean."

A few glances were exchanged but nothing else was said and now, for however briefly, Calleo had a captive audience courtesy of a Muggle toy.

"So, there are two ways to go with that; could give up on it for now and focus on securing the more southern and central Unseen Markets as Geiss suggested."

"And once we've got a good lock on those, push further East, per Schlei and Zeiger's suggestions, then swing North and push back West to lock the Northern routes."

"Mm, yeah, that probably was a bit ambitious. Push East, per Shlei and Zeiger, then redouble back West to make sure those routes stay secure go due North, only veering slightly east to make sure Finland's chunk of the Unseen Market isn't an easy entry point maybe?"

"Right, yeah--" by now it was Calleo making all the noise in the room with a group staring at him in silence as he discussed tactics with a plastic ball.

"Finland does get a bit too close, doesn't it? Let the dragon handle Finland?"

"Brilliant! So, from all the jumbled mess that was thrown around the last two hours here's what I've got: For now, ignore the North; still too much influence strength there to make any real headway. It'd be a mess right now, so keep focus on the Southern and Central European Unseen Markets and their routes in and out of Europe per Geiss' suggestion, follow Shlei and Zeiger's suggestion to push East--but not too far East, get too close to the Russian boarder and it's likely to cause problems, then redouble back to make sure the lines taken remain secure."

Calleo rolled the plastic 8 ball idly between his hands on the table, "Once those are secure to the point that they don't need constant watching, move out of central Europe--or the central parts of countries who are in Southern, Central, and also possibly in sort-of-Northern Europe--that should net the rest of the continent from roughly Warsaw West and into Norway and Sweden and we'll let Hebridean Black handle getting at least the relevant parts of Finland's Unseen Market into line. Wouldn't look to moving into that area for another two or three years though."

Silence.

Calleo canted his head slightly, "Was that not what you were all almost shouting about, only with a hell of a lot more profanity for the last two hours? And were just arguing about where to start?"

"It was." Felix was, as he usually was, the first to speak when Calleo managed to cause awkward silences. "You could do with being a bit more diplomatic about it in future and perhaps not use Muggle Divination toys."

"Why?"

"It gives the impression," this time it was Zeiger who spoke up, "that you take nothing seriously."

"Results, I think," now he was spinning the ball like a top, "prove that things are being taken seriously, as does the ability I have to listen to two hours of disjointed, insult peppered, argumentative, nearly coming to blows sniping back and forth from a table full of an assortment of strange mustaches with matching accents, take it, and turn it into something coherent and likely to see at least some measure of success within five minutes."

"The fact that you think a silly little water filled toy with what amounts to a dice with words floating in it was any factor--" Calleo laughed and shook his head, "I plan out loud all the time, hearing it outside my own head lets me think more clearly."

"The eight ball is just a bit of fun." (And that entire meeting ended up, hours later, being delivered to Professor Dumbledore ( @messianique ) as a vial to viewed along with a short invitation to recommend any fine tuning or changes to ensure it was still easy for him to do his own work unimpeded.)

[curiosity-killed]

reunion

@littlewhitetie​ I may have gotten a little carried away ^^’

Word Count: 2312

send me a ship + a number and I’ll write a short fic

40. exes meeting again after not speaking for years au

She should’ve known he’d be here. She would have, if only she’d thought at all. It is the anniversary celebration, after all – ten years since the multiverse was mended and balance returned. Ten years – a blink in the whole of her life – and yet it feels even longer than her 10,000-year sleep. The life she lives, the world she knows, is all so different than it once had been. So different from where she’d expected to be.

His mouth is curved up in a smile before he sees her, and it crinkles the skin by his eyes. The scar remains, but it’s faded now, softened. Perhaps time has been kind to him in this way, at least. She stops herself before she can form an opinion on that; his eyes have widened in surprise, that bright smile gone a little slack. “Allura. Princess,” he says. His eyes track across her face as if searching for something. He closes them as he gives a little shake of his head, and when he opens them, the smile has returned. “I didn’t expect to bump into you.” Before she can help it, she raises her chin slightly, defensive. “The rest of Team Voltron is here, aren’t they?” she says. If it comes out like a challenge, he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah,” he says. “A real reunion. It’s good to have everyone together again.” He looks out over the crowd as he speaks, and Allura doesn’t need to follow his gaze to remember this pattern. She does anyway. First Keith, leaning against the wall with his mother; then Pidge, bent over a datapad one of the former Blades holds; Lance, his arm looped around Coran’s shoulders like old friends; and Hunk, dwarfed by Shay and some other Balmerans. Shiro turns back to her. “It has been a long time,” she concedes. He breathes out a little laugh. There’s something too gentle in his gaze, too soft and open. Meeting it directly makes her heart give a painful thud. No more, no more, it says. It’s too similar to what she’s already lost twice before. “How have you been? And your husband?” she asks for a distraction. The question borders on the masochistic. The invitation is still tucked away somewhere in Atlas’ files, read once and hidden. She’d had Coran send a gift instead. Responding herself had hurt too much. It had made sense, in a way – or, no. It hadn’t made sense, but nothing really had then. It had shared in the reasonless rhythm of everything else. They had faced the apocalypse, and in its world-shaking wake, everyone had grabbed hold of whatever stability they found. The Garrison had been desperate for Shiro to stay, and Voltron was in low demand. Black had seemed content to wait in the desert with her paladin for whenever, if ever, the call came again. “Curtis? Oh.” Shiro laughs and rubs the back of his neck. He looks a little abashed. “We’re not together.” “Oh!” Allura says. Once again, she stamps out the start of some unwelcome feeling. “I am sorry; I didn’t know.” He waves the apology away, nearly careless. “It wasn’t anything bad,” he explains. “We’re still friends. I think we were both just – looking for something to hold onto. Some kind of home.” For the first time, that unnamable emotion bucks Allura’s grip. What about your home here? it wails. What about your home with — She throttles it calmly. “Anyway, he’s been helping with the rebuilding efforts in Europe these last couple years,” Shiro continues. “He’s pretty happy, has a new boyfriend who’s super into green ag.” There’s no resentment in his voice, and his small smile is genuine. “And you?” Allura asks. “Oh, no. Nah, my work with the Garrison keeps me pretty busy. And you know how jealous Black can get.” He adds the last in a clear attempt at a diversion, and Allura arches an eyebrow, unimpressed. “What happened to getting rest? Taking care of yourself?” she prompts. Now, he arches an eyebrow. There’s a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips, as if he’s trying to press it down. “You’re one to talk – leading the Intergalactic Alliance and spearheading revitalization efforts across systems?” he points out. Allura flushes a little. She hadn’t realized he had paid attention to what she was doing. “Just because I do it doesn’t mean you should,” she grumbles. “Alright, Ms. Pot,” he teases. Over the years, she’s become familiar enough with Earth’s idioms to recognize this one. She rolls her eyes, but there’s an irrepressible smile curling her lips. The banter feels easy, comfortable. It’s been so long since she’s had this: the ease of understanding each other, the inside joke of their own burdens. It’s a small club, one they alone formed when they led Voltron together. At the time, they hadn’t needed many words to share a comforting sort of solidarity over their shared responsibility. She almost says something. The words are already breath when they’re interrupted. “Family photo time!” Lance cheers. His intrusion startles her, breaks the soft-edged bubble that had formed around them. Allura laughs, looks down at her hands, and the words slip back into silence. They’re shuffled together before the big banner, and Allura winds up between Shiro and Coran. The photographer insists they move closer – and closer – to fit in the frame, until Allura is pressed against Shiro from shoulder to leg. He radiates warmth. “Say ‘Voltron’!” It comes out laughing. How absurd to call it out in such a carefree manner. For so long, it was a war cry. Now, they are safe and smiling and free. “Now a silly one,” Lance declares. Allura’s eyebrows raise, though it’s not in real surprise. As much as he’s matured and grown since she first met him, Lance retains his childlike enthusiasm. It’s good, she thinks. She’s glad. She couldn’t bear to see him solemn and silent, that intrinsic delight burnt out. Shiro turns to her, a little helpless. “Any ideas?” he asks. On his other side, Lance and Hunk are posing together with pouty lips, and on hers, Coran has pulled up into an overly regal stance. Beside him, Keith and Pidge make absurd faces. She turns back to Shiro. “I can pick you up?” she offers. He laughs, and nods, and in moments, she holds him bridal-style in her arms. His laughter is contagious. She’s grinning as the camera goes off, Shiro’s prosthesis folded gently over her shoulders. She sets him down gently, still smiling. The cool detachment she’d enforced at the start of the reunion has thawed and melted away. For the first time in a long time, she feels young. Free. She’d known she missed them, of course, but she’s startled by the force of it. By the powerful relief and joy she feels at being back with her team, her friends. Shiro hadn’t been wrong about her work keeping her busy, but perhaps she could make some time to see them more often. The universe won’t fall apart if she takes a brief break every now and then. Her work has ensured that. Shiro watches her, head canted to the side just-so. Vestiges of his laughter linger in the smile on his lips and the soft look in his eyes. This time, she smiles back. “I’ve missed you,” she says. She means to continue, to say “I’ve missed you all,” but her words stop there, and they’re still true. For too long, she's told herself that the past was the past and there was no changing it nor living in it. The walls she'd placed around it had been meant to protect her, to guard her heart from the thorns of regret. In blocking all light to it, though, she'd cut off any possibilities that might bud from it, too. Shiro's expression softens. Gentles. Turns to something achingly intimate. “I’ve missed you, too,” he says. He pauses, lips slightly parted as if about to say something. He takes a breath instead and furrows his brow, a little quizzical. “Do you want to get some air?” he asks. Atlas’ air circulation keeps the room from being stuffy or too hot even with the room filled to the brim. Still, Allura nods and lets Shiro lead her out onto one of the balconies. Stars stretch overhead, and the closest galaxy spins in imperceptible cycles, feathered with pink and blue. Atlas’ shield is barely a shimmer between them and the eternal night. Shiro takes a deep breath, tilting his head back as if to better see. Cool light falls on his face, on the planes of his cheeks and nose and in the dark depths of his eyes, but the warm light of the interior of the ship paints his edges in honeyed gold. “I’ll never get used to this,” he admits. Allura smiles and leans against the balcony rail. He glances to her with a little smile and moves to join her. “It’s beautiful,” she agrees. He hums in affirmation, but she can still feel his gaze on the side of her face. She can’t quite suppress the smile the pulls on her lips. “Do you miss it?” she asks. “Voltron? Being in space?” “Yeah,” Shiro admits with a quickness that makes her turn to him in surprise. “I like my work at the Garrison, but it’s nothing like being among the stars. I’ve been – restless, I guess. I’m trying to figure out a way to get more air time in while still being helpful. Useful.” He sighs and rubs at his right arm, where she knows the prosthesis meets his skin. “I know it’s selfish,” he says. Allura frowns. She turns to face him now, arms folding together. “Don’t be absurd, Takashi,” she says. He looks up. “You’ve sacrificed more than anyone could ask of another for the wellbeing of the universe. You’ve given more than you ever owed. The last thing you are is selfish.” He tilts his head with a little smile. “I’m selfish about some things,” he says, meeting her gaze. They stand suspended for a moment before she leans in, relenting. He meets her halfway. Despite all her heart’s earlier protests, it offers no objections now. It only settles into a contented rhythm, appeased at last. Shiro’s hands, mismatched are gentle where they cup her head. Her own fall to his waist, pulling him close. It’s a brief kiss, chaste, but they linger in each other’s space when they part. They’re near enough for her to see the reflections of stars in his eyes. “I hope I didn’t read that wrong,” he breathes out. She laughs, shoulders shaking. “Not in any universe,” she promises. He smiles, beautiful, helpless, happy. Her heart beats against her chest, all this tumultuous joy rising up in her throat. “There’s a position in the Alliance that needs filled,” she says. He raises an eyebrow and waits for her explanation. “The liaison to Earth. Based off the Atlas but with planetary missions. Still helping.” “I imagine they want a diplomat for that,” he objects gently. “Someone with experience.” She tilts her head, cocking an eyebrow. “And what would you call the Black Paladin, Leader of Voltron?” He starts to reply only to visibly rethink it and nod in concession instead. He pauses, studying her. “You would really want me there?” he asks. There’s a guarded vulnerability in his voice that nearly makes her want to reach up and cradle his jaw in her hand, remind him how dear he is to her. She resists for the moment. Right now, he needs to hear something surer than what he might think is only infatuation. “Shiro, there is no one I trust more in all the universe,” she says. “You are exceptional at all you do, and your sense of duty is unparalleled. I could not believe more firmly in your fit for the position.” The corner of his mouth curves up in a little smile, and she pauses before giving in to her stubborn heart. “And, selfishly,” she says with a wry smile, “I want you here. I’ve always wanted you here.” It’s a tender spot she’s bared, but she isn’t scared. If she is to leave her heart in someone’s hands, she could pick no one better. His hands have always been kind to her. When they kiss this time, there’s an edge of desperation to it, as if they’re both trying to catch up on all the time they’ve missed. It’s been years since they kissed like this, but they find each other as if no time has passed at all. They still fit in all the familiar places. They part only for breath, and stay a moment with their foreheads pressed together. Shiro watches her with wonder, and Allura’s chest is tight with joy. She’s undone with it, all her walls gently unraveled. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long,” he says. “I’ve been an idiot.” “Me, too,” she admits. “I thought I could run away and forget but – I don’t want to. I never want to forget you.” His eyes widen just-so, before his expression softens and he leans in to press a gentle kiss to her lips. “I’ve never stopped loving you,” he says. “I don’t think I can. I don’t think I can want to.” There’s a rawness to his voice that gives her heart a painful squeeze. “I love you, Allura,” he continues. “I’ve loved you from across the universe. But…it would be nice to be at your side again.” She bites her bottom lip before her smile grows too wide to permit it. Happiness is a physical force in her chest, a joyous pressure against her ribs. Finally, she releases her hand to cup his cheek and draw him back down to her. “Welcome back, Takashi,” she says against his lips.

[lotus-0398]

A/N:Hello! Im back with a new one. Ive been busy but hope you huys like it!

You can ask me anything and request anything if you like! ✨

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You and Jin met in middle school. You were two years younger then him. He was your senpai in a way. He was alone and you sat by his side to make him company and thats where all started. You two love food, animals, coffee and other stuff. You two began to hang out and even though he graduated and moved to another school for high school. You two would still be in contact. You guys would hang out in arcades, at the pool, having picnic or just a sleep over in his house or yours. You guys were having the best days.

One day he came to you and told you he was a trainee at Big Hit. You were so excited and hugged him. You fully knew that was his dream and you were gonna be there to support him. Also you were beginning to have feelings for him. You dont want to be away from him, you want him to know that youll be there for him, that you care for him, you loved him and that he was everything to you. You didnt dare to tell him yet.

Months have passed, days, hours and you were close to all the members. You brought them food almost every day made by you so they will eat well. Also they debuted and they were being successful. You were happy to see Jins dream coming true, for you studying was hard but it was all worth it to have a future. Thank God you took clases online because you couldnt stand being in a room full of people and having to dress all days just to go to college was something you didnt want. But you could dress up all days for Jin. Yes you love him and still you havent confessed to him. You began to be very shy around him again and talking more to the others. Jin noticed this and one day he took you out of the practice room and placed you to the wall.

“Jin.. wh-whats wrong?”you stuttered. And looked down.

He looked at you and sighed” Why dont you talk to me so much? We used to talk a lot non stop.. did i did something wrong?” He said sad and you grabbed his hand

“No.. you havent done anything bad.. i just...”you kept silent. Thinking if you should tell him.

“Y/N... whats wrong? Is something bothering you?..i would do anything for you to be confortable you know?.. and i have something to tell you.. im gonna explode if i dont tell you.. i.”he bit his lips and looked at you in the eyes” i like you.. like a lot..and i cant stand you talking more with the others than me.. i know we dont like go together because now im a singer.. and having this life is difficult.. plus having someone its even more harder..i..”he kept silent. You looked at him.. you began to tear up and hugged him

“We can work this out.. i like you too.. Jinnie.. i.. ive fallen for you.. but i didnt know how yo say it to you. “You said all shy and he smiled widely.

“So.. you are telling me that.. like a year ago i could have tell you how i felt and we would be Girlfriend and boyfriend by now?”he got closer to you. You blushed immediately and nodded. He chuckled and placed a finger on your chin to make you look at him. He slowly got closer to you and your lips met. It was a sweet and tender kiss. It was better than you expected, he hugged you by the waist still kissing you gently and softly. After a few 5 minutes you two parted and immediately you hide your face in his chest. He laughed at your action and placed a kiss on your head.

“I have to go back sweetie.. ill text you or call you later okay? I love you..”he smiled and walked away waving at you. You only looked at him blushing and waving back at him.

Day by day your relationship was great, amazing, he was lovely, caring, made food for you and had the best dates. But there were times when you two fought because of his work. You knew it would be difficult but its more difficult when you see him on TV flirting with other women because thats his charm. You miss him so much, everyday. And the calls and text are less and less each day since they got even more famous. Going to USA, Japan, Europe and winning the billboard for the first time. You began to feel lonely in your home, you just wanted him to be there by your side. But even though distance is hard between a couple you knew he would never hurt you or chest on you. Besides his members wouldnt let him in any way.

4 years have passed already, four years of relationship, of good and bad moments. But you werent feeling good one day. You felt sick, your hair was falling constantly. You didnt know what was going on but you thought it was something you ate. So you didnt bother to go to a hospital. You told Jin and he immediately got home.

“Babe are you okay?? How do you feel?”he says softly.

“Im better.. but i still very sick..”you said softly..”can we cuddle? Ive missed you a lot... i feel lonely..”you said with tears and he hugged you.

“Im sorry... i know.. but bare with me babe.. im here.. imma do all i can to be here more often or bring you with me..”he says and you smiled softly.

You two cuddle until you fell asleep in his arms. He just admired you and brushed your hair when he noticed he had brought a lot of your hair in his hand. He was in shock. You were losing hair, this wasnt normal. Usually you dont lose that many hair when brushing it. He began to worry even more. He sighed and kissed your cheeks. “I love you..”he said softly..

“I love you too...”you said in your sleep and he giggled.

Three months have passed and you felt even more sick than ever. But you didnt tell anything to Jin. You just pretended to be okay for him. Today you were gonna have a date with him. He sent you a box with all you should wear today. You were very excited so you prepared yourself for today, doing makeup, hair and everything. Jin knocked on the door and you went to open it up and there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolate. He looked so good in that pink button up shirt and black pants.

“Hello beautiful. How are you today? You look stunning..”he smirked and gave you the flowers.

You giggled and smiled”Thank you handsome. You look amazing, that color suits you..”you gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Mm thanks. Shall we go princess?”he smiled and you nodded.

Both of you went out of the house. It was a very romantic and planned date, he was like a prince and taking good care of you. You loved him and that wasnt a doubt. You two had so much fun talking about everything, eating, drinking and suddenly the other members, your family and his got there. You frowned and looked at him quickly. He was on his knees and you gasped placing your hands on your mouth to hide it. You didnt expect this, you teared up and he began saying:

“Y/N.. we met in middle school in the cafeteria. You sat by my side and talked to me. You were my first friend and only one since then. We fell in love and began our love story 4 years ago. I cant imagine living without you. I promis to take care of you, to make you happy and be there for you always.. i knew from that start that i wanted to be with you forever. That you are the perfect one for me even thought we dont always match or get along in something’s. I love you and.. Y/N would you marry me?”he said wit the biggest smile. You looked at everyone around with tears in your eyes, you looked at him again and nodded non stop. He stood up placed the ring on your finger and hugged you. “I love you princess..” he said and you started crying even harder.

“Also babe.. i want to plan our wedding for the next month. I want to be your husband immediately. “He smiled and you laughed.

“Hahaha really? I mean if you want me that badly why not do it in two weeks?” You said joking

“Thats not bad! Lets do it! I already have things that i want. Lets discuss it later okay?” He said.

You blinked a few times and smiled.”okay..”

He kissed you again softly and you responded. After the dinner and date, he took you home and he made love to you.

Two weeks have passed and today was the day were you and Jin were getting married, everything was planned, it was gonna look beautiful and it was a simple wedding. The most expensive of it all would be the honeymoon and both of your dresses and his. Your friends were helping you get ready. One did your makeup, the other your hair, other helped you put on the dress. You looked perfect, like a princess thats gonna get married to her prince charming. You smiled widely looking at yourself in the mirror.. You still felt very sick but you did all you could to be fine today in your wedding. The girls told you to go since it was time and off you go.

Everything went perfectly and now you were at the reception to dance, eat and have a good time. You were in your second dress, more light and easy to walk. You were looking at Jin dancing with his band mates. You smiled widely but suddenly you felt dizzy, sick, headache, and you passed out.

Jin noticed quickly and went to you. Trying to wake you up but nothing helped. He quickly carried you and went off to the hospital.

*FlashBack to one week ago*

You went to the doctor to get a check up. Because you were still very sick and your hair lose was worrying you too. So you went, waited to be checked. When you went inside and they checked you, gave you a paper to do all the exams and test. You went that same day.. and in a matter of 30 minutes your resulta were available. You went to the doctor again and he gave you the news that you had Cancer. You looked at the doctor in shock at first, but you slowly came to realize what he just said. Tears started to fall, silence among the office and you cried hard. But the worst thing is that the cancer is very advanced and its taking over your body. You cried even more. You stood up and went out, you paid and got to your car. You cried non stop on the way home and you didnt tell anything to Jin. You want him to be happy, you would do anything in your hands for him..

*End of the Flashback*

When he arrived at the hospital, they immediately took you. They did blood test and everything. After a few hours they came to him and said the news that you had terminal cancer. He kneeled down and cried hysterically. His band mates came in that exact moment and hugged him.

“Jin Hyung.. whats wrong?”said JK

“Tell us.. we are here for you..” said RM..

“Y/N...Y/N has terminal cancer “ he cried out loud and they all looked at each other.

“You need to be strong for her Jin hyung..she needs you now more than ever..”Suga said and brushed his hair.

“Suga is right Hyung” said Taehyung.”Its gonna be tough.. but we are with you too Hyung..”he said softly.

Jin stopped crying loud and tried to calm down. He nodded and hugged them.”Thank you guys.. thank you..” he sat down and sighed hiding his face crying again in silence. He felt useless as if he didnt do anything for you. He wasnt home often, the fights, he remembered them all. “i need to do something for her.. i feel like an idiot..i need to show her how much i love her!..”he said softly to his band mates. They all looked at one another and RM smiled.

“I know what you can do.. write your feelings.. what you want to let her know..”RM said softly

“Yeah! Thats a great idea..”said suga”I can help you with the beat.”

Jin looked at them and thought about it” i think is the best way to express my feelings for her.. i love my wife.. i love her.. i.. cant live without her..”he says softly”She is everything to me.. she has been in all stages of my life.. “

Suddenly the doctors came and spoke to Jin. They told him everything and let him go see you. He quickly went and opened the door to see you with the oxygen tubes on your nose, your hair still on fleak, he approached to you and kissed your forehead. “Jagi im here.. i love you..”he said..

You opened your eyes and looked at him smiling softly”Hey honey.. i love you..more.. im sorry i didnt say anything to you..”you teared up and he hugged you.

“Shh.. its okay.. its okay.. im gonna make you more happy.. im gonna do everything for you.. we will go through this until the end.. i love you so much “he kissed you softly and you kissed back with tears. You really love this man very much. He is everything to you.

After two weeks you were released from the hospital. You guys went to have a dinner, then to the park and went home.

“Honey... i want to watch a movie and cuddle up with you...”you said with a low voice.

“What do you want to watch? Something romantic or something funny?”he smiled at you.

“Hmm... lets watch comedy. I want to hear your laughter. “You said with a smile and his heart broke. Why? Because he forgot how to laugh ever since he found out about your cancer. He wasnt himself and he would only pleased you. He looked at you and nodded

“Okay Jagi! Go to bed and ill be right there with the movie alright?”he went to look up a movie and you went to the bedroom. After a few minutes he went up and saw you on the bed all dressed up in a sexy silk short bed dress. He smiled widely. “Wow.. baby... you look amazing!”he hugged you tight and kissed your forehead.”so sexy.. you know how much that dress drives me crazy..”he smirk and you blushed.

“Haha.. it wasnt my intention..or maybe it was” you winked and he laughed hard. You smiled and hugged him. You loved and missed his laughter.. “i like it when you laugh... i know that you are trying to make everything for me.. to make me more happy.. to be with me and pleased me... but lets be happy together.. lets be pleased together.. yeah? It makes me happy seeing you laugh.. lets go normal again? Yeah? Lets just live the moment. Can you do that for me?”you grabbed his face and looked at him with teary eyes and he looked at you with teary eyes too. Jin just nodded and kissed you softly. But that kissed became a needy one and hungry. That ended up in bed making love to one another.

The next morning he had to work so he left you a letter, he made you breakfast and did everything before work. When he got to the company the guys were waiting for him.

“Jin hyung!”said suga very cutely for some reason.

“Oh.. hey Suga.. whats up?”he said relaxed.

“I fixed a bit the song you composed and its great. I cried so much just so you know”he smiled with his gummy smile.

“Really?? Wow.. thank you!”said Jin happy.

“Now you need to go to RM”suga said and Jin did as he said. He knocked on the door of his studio.

“Namjoon? Are you here? Its me..” said Jin

“Jin Hyung! Come on in.. Jhope just picked the beat and now we need to record” Rm looked at him.”You okay?”

“Yeah im okay. And thank you for helping me.”he smiled .

“Anything for you and your wife Hyung”Rm smiled”Now lets work”he giggled and Jin nodded.

They began the recording process, they record plenty more to make sure he was doing it right. Then the hearing if its okay, fixing mistakes, etc. After 9hr working and doing everything they finished it and it was done and good to go. He smiled and went home. When he arrived you were in the bathroom vomiting blood. You didnt felt good. Your cancer was killing you, it was advancing.

“Jagi? Are you here love?”he said softly. You didnt respond. “Baby? “He ran quickly to your bedroom, you werent there, he went to the bathroom and there you were sitting, looking all weak and pale. He bit his lips trying not to cry and sat down by your side rubbing your back.”You okay? Need to go to the hospital?”he said softly and you said no with your head. He picked you up and hugged you. He walked to the bedroom and laid you there softly, then he cuddle you up to his chest.”Jagi... i want you to hear me.. can you?”he saids with a smile and kissed your forehead. You just nodded weakly.

He began to sing softly.

‘We're too different

You know that well

We aren't able to embrace

Each other's realities

 "I don't understand"

"I don't remember"

Words that will always just be words

I don't expect them

 I love you (x5)

To your warm touch...

 I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

 To your warm touch...

 Please hold me

Please catch me’

You were crying softly and he felt your tear since the were falling on to his shirt.

“Dont cry Jagi.. i love you”he kissed you softly and you responded the same way. You loved this man so much. He was everything to you and you are everything to him. After a while both of you went to sleep. It was a peaceful night until you got up and ran to the bathroom. You were feeling more ill than ever and began to vomit and fell on the floor of the bathroom. “Agh... mm...”you tried to get up but you didnt have strength, hou felt your vision getting more blurry and blurry until you passed out. Jin immediately heard something hit the floor and ran to the bathroom. There you were all weak and unconscious. He panicked but tried to relax. He picked you up and soon he was driving to the hospital crying non stop. He texted his band mates. He got to the hospital and they took you. He just sat in the waiting room and cried in silence. The boys got there as soon as possible, saw him and hugged him tight, all of them and Jin broke crying out loud. “I dont want to lose her... i cant lose her please...”he said with a crack on his voice.

“Shhh she will get better hyung”said Jimin.

“Try to stay calm okay?”said Namjoon.

After a few hours the doctors came and talked to Jin. You were in a room but they said you wont make it. He froze and bit his lips. They had you in intensive care but you were no longer in the body. You were not gonna wake up. He immediately went to see you. He grabbed you hand softly, kissed it, kiss your forehead and your lips.”Jagi... i dont know if youll hear me but.. here i go.. i love you with all my heart... the day i first met you was.. like magic.. i fell in love with you in an instant. Youre my everything... with you i have it all.. without you. Im empty... i love you so damn much.. if i lose you ill lose my mind but... dont fight if you cant no more... if you have to leave me do it.. i know youll take care of me from heaven.. i know youll be watching me and supporting me.. i.”he broke crying but tried to finish” im so glad i met you and have you as my wife.. youre the love of my life forever and ever. Ill miss you..”he kissed your lips softly and when he finished kissing you.... you passed away. He could hear the machines going blank. He bit his lips hard and cried softly, he hugged you one last time. He went out the room and the boys were there outside.

“Hyung! What happened?”said Jungkook.

“She... she is not with us anymore..she passed.. away..”his lips trembled and tears were falling down his cheeks. Everyone gasped and their eyes went wide. They immediately hugged him.

Months have passed since you passed away, Jin was okay but he was missing his other part: you. They were on tour and nobody knew you passes away. Only Bighit employees and the guys. He misses you so much. When they went up stage and sang all of the song in this new comeback and stuff. They got to the end were they all thank and say how much they love ARMY. Bow it was Seokjins turn.

“Armyyyyyyyyyy!!!”he said with a smile. “Aaaaarrrrmyyyyyyy”he said playing.” Um.. i wanted to thank all of you and the staff for everything. Army is the reason why i wake up.. and keep going.. because..”he started to tear up.” As you all knew i got married.. and my Jagi is everything to me... i loved that woman with all my heart. But for the past few months ago she got ill and.. she died three month ago..”his voiced cracked and cried in silent ,the others cried too.”she was everything to me.. i feel empty but.. im glad im here today in front of you Army.. and sing this special song that.. is dedicated to my wife..”he smiled with tears and he began to sing ‘I love you’.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! 😭💜

[bobowhooo]

Potent Savages

Genre : Thriller/Angst/Trigger Warningssss/smutty/Exo, oc, and blackpink gang au.

Summary : Not everyone is cut out for this kind of fast paced lifestyle, but for these young, rich savages, it’s second nature.

Chapter 6 : Operation - beguile and debauch

    It’s not that we’re sad, It’s that we think we should be.

“What a night to be alive.” suho said as he sipped on whiskey he only breaks out when it’s a special occasion. “Everything is in place.”

I pouted and looked away from him and to the mirror in front of me. Tonight we set the plan in motion, which means i have to watch my little queen entertain Mr.angelos all night, and i won’t be able to do shit about it. But to keep me from losing control tonight, suho told me to focus on park si-yeon the ceo of a company that helps failing businesses. She sounds like a nice person right? she’s not, she’s basically a lion in the pouncing position to her clients. But so am i. And tonight im supposed to start the process of basically using her own tricks against her. But she deserves it. 

Hm, it does feel like we are getting pimped out though.Then again, i can’t help but think, if not me then who? and don’t get me wrong, this is much easier than selling, so im not complaining.

“Ready man?” chanyeol put his hand on my shoulder as he looked in the mirror at me.

“Nah, im not.” 

“Dude.”

“What? i can’t help it.” i said still looking at the pout that makes aya want to kiss me in the mirror. “But im chill, don’t worry about me.”

“Then stop pouting already, damn.” chanyeol said. Easier said then done. Literally.

“Guys, let’s go!” suho yelled as he walked passed me and held his whiskey happily. Me and chanyeol left first, mostly because i wasn’t in the mood to be in the car with everyone all at once. 

Not much conversation goes on during this drive to the goutter night club, since im too in my head tonight. But then again, that’s always better than being out of it. 

“Tonight kind of reminds me of old times.” chanyeol spoke suddenly as he turned the car in the left direction. 

“Yeah, i guess i can see why you would say that. Driving an expensive car to begauile an expensive woman.”

“Yeah, just like back then, when things were a bit harder to come by.”

I smiled. “Fuck yeah they were, for a car like this i had to at least fuck 20 times.” chanyeol busted out laughing at my man hoe statement. “Seriously, and run through like 10 bottles of lube.” i cringed at the thought of lube, I think im traumatized. 

“Dude, chill out, it wasn’t that bad, our job was easy as hell, we literally were spoiled for giving good head.” 

“Uhmm what? i never gave head to those old hags. D-did you?” i asked, scared for my answer.

“I mean yeah, but i needed too, a trip to europe is expensive, okay!?”

“Dude! i cant believe you!” i was laughing so hard at the thought of him not wanting to but doing it for trip money.

“Yah! don’t shame me! at least i went to europe!” chanyeol stopped at a red light and looked at me like a maniac.

“I went with you! and i didn’t have to violate my own mouth.” i said looking out of the window feeling pretty proud of myself.

“Whatever man, i always had more money than you because of that one reason, even though the experience is nothing to brag about.” he cringed a little and i shook my head at him. Poor guy. 

“No you didn’t, my dick was always more enough.” he made a mocking face as he looked at the road after my sentence and I turned to the window again.

“I have only done that to my little queen.” i said to him.

“I can see why, she’s one of those girls that make you want to do it.” chanyeol said with a casual tone as i scowled at him.

“Shut the fuck up.” i hit him on the arm. “And you better not be fantasizing about going down on her.” i looked at him and my scowl came back. I can’t help but feel a little something when he says stuff like that, i mean i know he would never do anything to break us up, but i also know he has feelings for her. I should just be happy he was honest, because if he hid the fact, then it would have been worse. Right?

“I wasn’t, but i am now, try and stop me bitch.” chanyeol teased as he stepped on the gas and sped up, leaving the car that was about to pass us in the dust. I saw the the limo the guys decided to drive there in behind us and laughed.

“I swear our driver thinks he’s a fucking nascar racer.” chanyeol said smiling.

I rolled down the window and showed them my middle finger, which made our driver speed up the limo. Chanyeol slowed down the car on the almost empty high way until the limo was right next to us and chen rolled down the window laughing with his mouth wide open. 

“I bet you the thousand on my wrist, we make it there faster!” i yelled at chen and he shook his head still laughing while his hair flopped in the wind. It’s a fair fight since the bugatti limo could go the same miles per hour as our two seated bugatti.

“Hyung! my hair! what the fuck!” i saw sehun yell from behind chen and i snorted a laugh.

“Okay, bet!” chen yelled back at me. “I bet sehun’s wrist.” 

“Fuck that! im not giving baekhyun my watch!” sehun yelled. 

“Damn, giving up already!?” chanyeol yelled from the drivers seat and i shook my head. 

“Yah get back in this car! and roll up the damn window!” minseok was yelling and i only heard the last part before a car honked at us since we were driving slowly and yelling at each other. 

Chen and i flipped the car off and i showed chen my wrist to make sure he was ready for our bet. He nodded while sehun shook his head in disagreement.

I sat down and rolled up my window fixing my hair a bit and chen did the same with an angry sehun on the side of him.

The cars came to equal levels and chanyeol looked at our driver to see if he was ready to start. Our driver nodded at chanyeol, showing that he was ready and the chanyeol smirked.

Look’s like sehun is going to need a new watch.

“Fuck you guys.” sehun said as he handed me his large and expensive watch. Chanyeol jumped at him as if he was going to hit him and sehun scowled even more. I passed chanyeol the watch and he gave it back to sehun as i walked away. 

Finally i wasn’t feeling like punching a wall out frustration, which is a good thing i suppose. 

I entered the club first, looking around for aya before suho hit my shoulder as a sign to follow him. We all walked through the crowd of people dressed to impress towards the vip room, where the girls are, im guessing.

“Wow!” i heard what sounded like jennie and one of my eyebrows quirked in curiosity. Suho moved the thick red velvet and silk curtain out of the way as we entered the room. My head started to spin as i got hotter when i saw aya for the first time tonight. She was wearing a tiny plaid skirt with black suspenders, and a crop top dress shirt that has a big tie bow at the top, her hair in a loose ponytail, her legs covered in fishnet and ankle high heeled boots, as expensive jewelry adorned her perfectly. She good enough to eat, and it took everything in me not to do just that at the moment. I realized all the girls were matching, wearing basically the same thing as aya when the boys spread out towards them. And Mr.angelos seemed to be having the time of his life while he laughed at what ever aya was saying. 

I made a face at the man before suho slapped my back. “Baekhyun, stop.”

“Im not doing shit.”

“Yet,” he said slapping my back again. “i was telling you to stop in advance.”

“Alright, damn.” 

We both went to take a seat next to Mr. angelos on the leather couch. Me on his right, where aya is, and suho on his left. 

“Suho! baekhyun! im so glad you all are finally here, parties are never the same without you.” Mr.angelos smiled at us and i sent a fake one back in his direction. 

“Hi guys!” aya yelled in excitement over the music. She’s not drunk, but she’s acting like she is. Any other time she would have flipped us a bird for being late.

I sent a sweet smile her way and she did the same while biting her lips. The temptation to devour her is creeping closer, i might do something reckless soon. I took a deep breath and poured myself a drink. Let’s hope i can down this without tasting it too much.

“This was a big score, Mr.angelos! this place is really profitable! i was looking at it myself, but you got your gri- i mean golden hands on it first, you filthy rich man, you!” suho spoke trying to beat the music like everyone else. It was funny seeing him have actual jealous feelings towards Mr.angelos, even though suho is so much better than this fuckass, i get why he feels that way. If i was suho i would act and feel the same way towards the man. Aya turned away from their conversation and watched me down my second cup of tequila ley. I caught her looking at my exposed chest and i accidentally swallowed the wrong way, causing me to cough uncontrollably for second. Her hand flew to my back and she rubbed it sweetly.

No fair.

Without thinking i put my hand on her thigh and rubbed the fishnet that was practically begging to be ripped off. She looked at me with her eyes spelling out the words “it’s dangerous” and i smirked. I guess she’s right, if Mr.angelos caught me feeling up the girl he likes, it could ruin this whole thing. My hand crept higher towards her little skirt as she bit her lip. I hope the temptation eats her alive so i can do the same. Just give into it. She quickly stood up smacking my hand away in the process. 

“I’ll go get more bottles.” she blurted out. My head tilted watching her skirt sway with her hips as she walked out, pushing the curtain out of her way in the process. That’s all mine. I looked at Mr.angelos again and thought i should go get aya while they are separated. Before i could get up out of my seat though, my phone buzzed meaning it’s time. I took a look at the notification and my thought was confirmed. 

Si-yeon park :

    im here! Where r u cutie??

Damn it.

I got up giving suho the signal that she’s here. He nodded and continued his conversation with Mr.angelos and i walked out. 

The place was still loud with rap music and chatter as i walked through the crowd to the door. I spotted aya with two new bottles of tequila ley.

Tequila ley. The best dri- 

just kidding, this isn’t an ad.

“Baekhyun!” si-yeon jumped on me and swung her arms around my neck in excitement and i coughed a little. 

It’s always sad to think about the fact that the only thing that can break people like her, is love. But i wouldn’t say she’s in love with me. Yet. She’s just sprung. 

“Hey.” i said letting my eyes wander to aya as she talked to lisa on the dance floor with the expensive liquor in her hands.

“I missed you......baekhyun.” she was looking at me pouting a little after she realized i wasn’t really paying attention. “Baekhyun!”

“Yes babe?” i said finally looking a her and no where else.

“She’s here isn’t she, the bitch that kissed you at the dinner party.” she asked like i don’t remember that. That night was so hot. 

I pouted back at her. This lady stands no chance. Don’t forget, i used to do this for a living.

“Babe, it really hurts me when you stoop to her level, don’t think about her, You’re too perfect.” I said looking in her eyes to make her feel as if im genuine, even though every word is a lie. She’s smarter than that though, those words weren’t enough, i know that for a fact. But for now it’s enough. 

She put her forehead on mine and smiled.

“Okayy, i won’t think about it anymore, but is she here or not?”

“Yeah, she is, as arm candy for Mr.angelos.” i said looking at her hair as i stroked it gently.

“Oh, okay.” she replied.

“Aye baekhyun, who is this? your girl?” aya walked up to us and pushed herself into our conversation. 

“Yeah it is.” i said back to her with a smile on my face. That was it, that killed most of the suspicions and jealous feelings si-yeon was feeling. Even though it probably annoyed the shit out of aya. 

“Hi, im par-”

“Park si yeon, omg shut up! im such a fan! you’re like the smartest business women in the game right now!” aya yelled excitedly at her as she slowly pushed me away from the woman. 

“Oh. geez, thanks.” she said back to her with less excitement as she looked at her up and down, checking aya out and probably trying to find flaws in her appearance. Good luck with that.

“Sincerely, im so sorry for kissing him, i was tipsy and i didn’t know he was with you like that.” i watched aya lie through her white teeth as she started to flatter si yeon, who was falling for it. As you can see flattery charges those batteries of hers. I laughed a little and folded my arms, watching my queen charm the lady. 

“I love your shoes.” si yeon said as her guard has been successfully taken down.

Aya talked her up for a few more minutes before the three of us made our way back to the vip room. Aya went back to Mr.angelos and i sat down on the couch watching her. Si yeon poured herself a drink with a smile on her face before plopping down on my lap without permission. She tilted her drink towards me and i shook my head not being able to take anymore alcohol tonight. If only i didn’t sound like such a little bitch asking for soda at the bar, i would have got one. I snapped out of my thoughts when si yeon started talking to Mr.angelos and his hand slid to the skin aya left exposed due to her crop top. 

I licked my lips as i try hard not to be effected by the movement. I caught aya looking at my face, probably thinking i look funny when im annoyed. I looked at her in the eyes with a pout. Asking her with my eyes to stop his advances. Or i just might have to. She giggled at me probably getting the message loud and clear. Mr.angelos looked at her and whispered something in her ear before she got up and sat on his lap, ignoring my earlier plea. A scowl made it’s way on my face as she sat there. She flashed me a teasing smile when her arms swung around his neck and his arm flew to her waist in reaction. 

Game on.

My arm went to the waist of the girl on my lap and she looked at me with a small smile before returning to her conversation, Aya pouted at me leaning her head on shoulder of the man i was having thoughts of socking. My eyebrows lifted silently asking if she really wanted to play this game. She bit her lip and nodded. Swiftly my hands flew to the thighs of si yeon and i gripped hard like i do with aya. But in that moment i realized how much i wanted si yeon’s thighs to be aya’s and my grip tighten out of annoyance as si yeon winced and whipped her head, looking at me furrowed eyebrows, I didn’t really look at her confused expression since aya was staring at me with that devilish kind of lust that makes my fire for her her burn brighter, and brighter, until it sets my whole body on fire, burning me into flames. Fuck. Aya spread her legs as she put one leg over the other and gripped on the tie of the man she is sitting on. Si yeon kissed me on cheek and smiled, giving me the attention i didn’t need at all, but she obviously thought i did. I smiled back at her a little annoyed that she is blocking my view of aya. 

“You look so cute when you’re jealous.” she said her hand making circles on my exposed chest. “You have all my attention, no more Mr.angelos, just you and me.” 

I pouted at the fact that she said exactly what i wanted to hear from aya right now. 

What a night to be alive.

The night is still kind of young when Taeyeon and siwon barge into the vip room as baekhyun and si yeon left to get him a soda at the bar. 

Just the people i didn’t want to see, i thought, as i looked at the two people in the entrance way.

I jumped off the lap of Mr.angelos and ran toward taeyeon hugging her and acting like the perfect fake friend that i am. Siwon looked at me as if i was going to hug him and i held my hand out, he politely took it while i smiled. 

“Let’s get this party started!” siwon yelled while walking past me and taeyeon.

“I didn’t expect to see you here aya!” taeyeon yelled at me. 

“Your father invited me!” i yelled back at her, not really trying to beat the music but just being petty.

“Oh!? that makes since, he really likes you!” she smacked my arm and nodded at her own comment. 

“I can tell!” I swung my arm around her shoulder to lead her to the other girls as she continued to talk about stuff i didn’t care about. Right now im focused on passing her to lisa and finishing my job up. The two of us walked out to the dance floor and pushed through the crowd when we spotted two familiar hair colors.

“Hey girls!” i yelled at rose and lisa so happy to have found them. Taeyeon jumped on them and kissed their cheeks all while screeching louder than the music because of her excitement.  

I walked away more than done with her loud ass and made my way to the vip room. 

When i lifted the curtain the room was filled a bit more than before with random girls im guessing siwon invited. I looked at jennie as she sat next to chanyeol looking uncomfortable and annoyed, and then looked at jisoo who was talking to suho and smiling completely ignoring the girls that just came in. Mr.angelos made a motion telling me to come over to him. i passed by siwon and made a face at him before mr.angelo pulled me down onto his lap and smiled. He’s handsome, but he’s not baekhyun, and that’s the reason im not interested. I pretend to like his action though and smile back. 

“Im worried about you.” Mr.angelos said as i bit my lips and fixed my position on his lap.

“And why is that Mr.angelos?” i replied sweetly.

“Call me carmelo honey, and, Well, you seem to keep your eye on that baekhyun guy a lot. And i have to admit it makes me jealous.” he looked at me and played with my ponytail. “You should know im not looking for a fling, im looking for a wife. I want someone to fill the gap in my heart. I want you.” Mr.angelos spoke as he got closer to my lips. 

Of course you want me.

I backed away a bit looking into his eyes cutely. “Well carmelo, i think i can do that.”

He laughed at me a bit. “Aya angelos, it has an amazing ring to it.” he caressed my hands in his and smiled more. “Wait, is aya your real name?”

Well played.

“No, it isn’t carmelo.” i played with his tie. “Do you want to know my real name?”

“Yes, please.” he said staring at my lips.

“Marry me first bitch.”

He erupted in laughter as i smiled at him and my perfect answer to his personal question. 

“I really like you aya.” he said grabbing me passionately after he was done laughing. i kept a safe distance from his lips as i smiled. We stayed like that looking at each other until siwon reached for a girl that was right by us. He grabbed her roughly bringing her over to him and she bumped into my back pushing my mouth into the man im sitting on. 

My eyes widened and he melted into the kiss probably thinking it was a passionate, heat of the moment, on purpose one.

“Wow.” i heard a voice that sounded like baekhyun’s at the entrance and detached myself from mr.angelo quickly. I looked over to him and his eyes were dark with anger and jealousy. Everyone looked at me then him as Mr.angelos started to kiss my neck, obviously thinking that kiss was the start of something more. I silently pleaded him to understand it wasn’t on purpose but he looked away. Suho didn’t pay us any attention still talking to jisoo like they were the only two in the room. Baekhyun grabbed si yeon and sat her on his lap when he took a seat himself. 

Then he Quickly and roughly grabbed her hair and kissed her sloppily. 

So this is what it feels like to like someone. To be hurt by someone you like. To hurt someone you like. I bit my lip. This feeling is why i always promised not to fall for anyone. 

Too late though.

“Aya?” mr.angelos called out to me in my dumbfounded state.

When i turned to him he smashed his lips into mine. Kissing me hard and not letting go. I mumbled his name as he kissed me and he let go a bit.

“Carmelo, please.”

All of a sudden he picked me up and carried me out of the room as my eyes widened. 

That’s not what i meant carmelo! 

I screamed in my head because everything else was completely blank and immobile.

I watched baekhyun’s hurt eyes as i was carried away and thought, Is this operation worth all this suho?

Mr.angelos carried me to another vip room as i just limply stayed in his arms and I finally let it sink in that i hurt someone i love. 

i hurt him.

He told a guy to watch the entrance as we went inside. I was thrown on the leather couch and he took his shit off while staring at my skirt that was now revealing my panties. 

I hurt him.

Carmelo got on top of me kissing my neck as i stared into space.

It wasn’t my fault though.

My hands flew to his arms pushing him a bit but not enough because i was still feeling limp.

“Have you ever been to europe, hm? sweetheart.” he asked randomly as he bit on my chin.

“No.” i said breathlessly. 

Come on! Snap out of it aya!

“Well i own banks there too honey, i can take you there for the first time, and spoil the shit out of you. Do you want that honey?” 

“I....”

You hurt him! So snap out of it and go apologize! 

“Yes.”

“Yes? you want that?” he continued to suck and bite my skin harshly as my mind started to come back.

That’s it, get out of default mode! go find baekhyun!

“Yes.”

Because you love him!

“Stop.” i pushed his arms again. 

Still too weak though.

“Aya? what are you doing?”

I looked at him when he lifted his head up and looked at me.

“Aya, what’s wrong? where are those fiery eyes i adore so much?”

“I...”

“I get it.” he said as he took my arms and held them above my held. “You’re scared to show me your true self because you like me too much. But it’s okay, that’s why i like you, you’re ruthless, a killer with the most beautiful smile in the world. I like you because of these things, because you’re crazy.”

My mind started to race with his words as i screamed at myself to snap out of my dumbfounded and limp state.

“You know what? it kind of turns me on when i watch you kill people.” carmelo said as he licked my cheek dirtily.

Watch you?

“W-watch me?” i asked feeling less out of it after everything he said.

“Well, if im being honest, i have been watching you for little while,” he said finally looking me in the eyes. “Siwon boasted about you so much, i just had to see what the hype was about.” siwon? “So i had one of my men follow you. For a month to be exact. And everything that was reported back to me made me like you so much.” he spoke more as he started to rip my fishnet stockings.

I sat up quickly “A month!?”

“Yes, now,” he pulled a gun out of his waistband and handed it to me. “Show me the murderer you keep hidden, and kill the guy guarding the entrance.”

My eyes were wide in shock.

“Now!”

I grabbed the gun and whipped him across the face. He laughed and held his temple. 

“That’s it! go crazy!”

I ran out of the room and saw the guy standing there like he was waiting for something. He looked at me in the eyes coldly as i eyed him from his feet up.

It’s him. The guy from my date with baekhyun. The rude guy that smelled like chicken. 

My heart beat sped up along with my thoughts, doubting every encounter i have had for the past month. I pushed him aside and ran to the vip room with everyone in it. 

I pushed the curtain roughly and looked around for baekhyun. 

“Where is he!?” I yelled at everyone as they all looked at me and the gun in my hand. 

Siwon smirked as got up and walked towards me, pushing the girl dancing on him out of his way in the process.

“Im afraid he left with si yeon-ah.” he bent down so that his eyes were leveled with mines. “She’s into threesomes.”

Feelings i haven’t felt in a long time crept up on me. I knew things were too good to be true lately. Good things are always temporary for people like me. Why did i think something different this time. Im so stupid.

“What’s wrong aya? do you like him? you shouldn’t. Your with carmelo remember?” siwon taunted still invading my personal space.

“Shut up.” i spoke through my teeth angrily.

“What are you going to do? shoot me?” 

“Shut. up.”

“Give me this.” he grabbed at the gun in my hand.

His hand twisted my wrist and i quickly pulled my arm closer before kicking him with all my strength and force.

He fell back into the table breaking the expensive glass cups and bottles and all the girls screamed. One by one the unknown girls ran out of the room as i stood there watching siwon bleed on top of broken glass. 

“Pussy.” i turned around swinging my gun to let the girls know it’s time to go.

What a night to be alive.

“baekhyun will be here any minute i promise.”

I sat on the couch of the exo mansion holding the same gun that no one dared to take out of my hands as everyone awkwardly stared around the room or at me or at the gun in my hand.

“You know, i just think it’s funny that none of you bitch ass bitches even tried to help the situation. I guess money really does come first with you all.” I spoke into the awkward silence, wanting everyone to know just how pissed i am.

“Aya, look-” suho started but the door opening interrupted him.

I stood up abruptly, running to the front door.

“Baekhyun!” i yelled when i saw him come through the door. His shirt is all the way opened and his hair is messier than before. 

I bit my lip. Damn this sight hurts me. My eyes stung at the thought of him doing everything he does to me to someone else. 

No, he didn’t, he couldn’t have.

He walked straight past me ignoring me completely. 

I ran in front of him.

“Baekhyun, come on don’t be like this. I swear it was an accident, the girl pushed me into him. I swear.” i said grabbing onto his shirt. The gun in my hands dug in his torso as i gripped and he looked at it. His face void of emotion. 

He took my hand and removed the gun from it.

Suddenly he thew it to the side of us angrily, The gun landed harshly and shot off a bullet breaking an expensive vase that was placed on a glass table.

I turned my head to him quickly. “What the hell is your problem damn it!”

“You are! I should have listened to suho when he told me not to fall for you!”

“Me! I didn’t do anything! the kiss was an accident! the second one was forced! And i pistol whipped the guy before he could even touch my underwear!”

“OH? You expect me to believe that!? With the way you begged him for it!? The way you just looked at me as he carried you away!? I hope you gave him the fuck of his life aya!”

“I didn’t fuck him!”

“I don’t believe you! And i won’t continue to fool myself into thinking this will work out! Look at us! We aren’t supposed to be happy! Just give it up! this wasn’t meant to be, so stop acting like it!”

My mouth shut. 

What is happening right now.

“And you know what else i fucked si yeon. Hard.”

“Baekhyun. Stop.”

“Stop what? the truth?”

My eyes started to burn, a feeling of hurt i haven’t felt in awhile coursed through my heart liked alcohol. 

Maybe he’s right. This isn’t meant to be. Why am i forcing what i know shouldn’t happen?

“Now go fuck him again, because i don’t want you back.” baekhyun said coldly as he walked pass me. And for some reason it felt like he was never here.

This is it huh? this is how reality decided to kick me in the balls? If i was getting to ahead of myself, a shot in the arm would have been better. Like last time. 

These kind of thoughts filled my head as i let my default mindset kick in without putting up a fight this time. 

That’s right. All that matters is my girls, me, and money. Why did i ever think anything would change. Why did i let myself think different.

I turned around and saw all the girls looking at me with worried eyes and i just silently turned again this time to walk away, finding my way out of the house and breathing in the fresh air.

What a night a to be alive indeed.

AUTHORS NOTE : Haii! Whaaaa that chapter was fun to write! and easier than the one before it! lol. im really happy to have finished another chapter so soon. I have been feeling really inspired lately so thats prolly why it was so easy and soon. Anyways shit they broke up guys whats going to happen to them now!? lol. Alexa play hann by g idle. JKJKJK, Anywayss thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed and if you did dont be afraid to show it lol. Just kidding you dont have to.

Kisses <3 ~ lailaaaa

[travelgal94-blog]

Amsterdam

Amsterdam. It’s strange to think that only an hour’s flight away transports you to the land of coffee shops. And no I don’t mean going to Starbucks and ordering a venti, double shot, extra wet (yes I have heard someone order that before), hot mocha choca something or other. We all know what their coffee shops are famous for but, for those of you that don’t know, it’s a chance to do what most university students are doing each night of the week. Marijuana. Being an Art Gradute I would love to tell you that I went to the land of Van Gogh and Anne Frank because I’m a cultural person who took great pride in their studies. That’s almost true. But in reality I wanted to ‘live like a local’, if you catch my drift. With the full support of my parents to “explore the world” I packed a bag, jumped on a flight and was on my way.

Amsterdam, like most of Europe, is really easy to get around. I waked virtually everywhere as the city itself was smaller than I had anticipated. Naturally I paid my cultural dues by visiting the local market stalls selling Tulips and the Van Gogh museum. Despite being an Art Graduate I think it’s safe to say that most people have head of Van Gogh or would recognise at least one of his paintings. However, if you want to get away from the typical Sunflower and Potato Eater scenes, the Van Gogh museum is definitely worth a visit. I have studied Art throughout my life and even I was surprised by some of the work in there, discovering my new favourite Van Gogh painting; a charming little image of a skeleton smoking a cigarette. And even if you don’t enjoy the artwork, there is a lovely little vintage cafe called Small Talk just round the corner - though beware when crossing the road. More than once I checked before I stepped out only to realise I was looking the wrong way, considering they drive on the opposite side to us in the UK.

Next stop, a ‘proper’ coffee shop. If, like me, you’re not a smoker I would highly recommend a baked goods alternative. They’re yummy, but I would urge you to eat something beforehand. This was my downfall. I had a rather impressive onset of the munchies, closely followed by slight paranoia that had me absolutely convinced I was being followed by a ‘Where’s Wally’ lookalike. The situation was not helped having watched Hostel not long before this trip so I was too afraid to go back to my hotel room. So for all you worldly travellers EAT FIRST.

Of course the other big attraction in Amsterdam is, *drum roll*, the naked ladies. I strongly recommend you first visit the Museum of Prostitution which highlightd the lay of the land for the women working in the Red Light District. It also features a few fun ‘interactive’ elements. I will say nothing more than that, just be sure to visit. I also urge you to visit the Sex Museum. Easily the best €3 I’ve ever spent. There are about 3 floors full of sexual memorabilia from times past, present and future, featuring the infamous penis chairs. Definitely worth a visit if you fancy a cheeky giggle. Then, finally, of course you have to visit the Red Light District itself. Originally, I thought maybe it would be a dingy little side road that looked like it ought to be avoided by travelling tourists. How wrong I was! I was staying at the Hilton Doubltree, (excellent location by the way, it’s virtually next door to the central train station), and on their map of the city they highlight the Red Ligh District as a place of interest for tourists. The area itself is actually rather beautiful, there’s a canal running through the main strip with decorative bridges and trees all around. But of course we’re there to see the naked ladies. I have to mention the obvious. The girls are there to do a job, if you’ll pardon the pun, so I urge you not to stand around and stare for too long unless you’re willing to pay them. They are also people, not objects. I saw a few lads who got the two confused and were quickly escorted away, after trying to take pictures, by a rather beefy gentleman in a suit. I myself had a rather close encounter. I was so busy looking around me, not quite believing that everything I was witnessing was legal, that I didn’t notice the young lady hanging out of her window to have a cigarette and walked face first into her chest. In my naive panic I thought she’d try to charge me, but fortunately she smiled and laughed it off.

I cant imagine Britain ever being quite so ‘free thinking’ as Amsterdam anytime soon, but that’s what makes it such a special city. I know the general stereotype it’s that it’s a blokes paradise city break but it has so much more to offer, and being so close it seems daft not to go over and explore!

[geminimoonbeamx]

Naive: Part 1

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the intro, I wrote this and a few other “chapters” up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story😭💛

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. The stirrings of sexual tension. The big stuffs coming next time though you guys I promise lol

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye.

💘💘💘💘💘

You and Pepper sit in the back of a sleek black Mercedes as it winds through the city, towards Manhattan and the Tower.

It had only been a few years since you’d been in New York but damn, had your forgotten how small this city made you feel. You stare out of the window, your eyes tilted up at many sky scrapers, the sun glaring through your oversized sunglasses as you look at the sky.

It reminds you of a canopy, the way the buildings seem to box you in. An urban jungle that smelled like human pee and chronic exhaustion.

“Are you excited for the internship?” Pepper asks you with a grin and you nod enthusiastically, biting your bottom lip.

What she was talking about was the internship you’d managed to score at the American Museum of Natural History.

“So fucking excited. I mean- I know they’re going to have me doing chump work. Since I only just got my bachelors degree, but the boost that it’s giving my career is insane. Like, I’ll be working on my graduates degree at the same time so I’m hoping if I can make a good impression they’ll refer me to the Smithsonian”

You cant help but babble, your mouth going a mile a minute.

School had always been important to you. It’d been drilled into you by your scientist of a mother, and your college professor of a grandmother that education was the most valuable thing in this world. You’d luckily inherited your moms bright nature, and had graduated high school as the Valedictorian…

Which always made you laugh because you’d ditched more then a third of your senior year to smoke pot with your friends in your car and had still managed to pass top of your class.

College was harder, just like you knew it was going to be. But you still goverened a high grade point average. Double majoring in Sociology and History and minoring in Art Forensics.

Because you’d known, ever since you’d watched Indiana Jones when you we’re six, that all you wanted to do was work in Museums. You wanted to be surrounded by ancient scrolls and mystical tombs. You wanted your life to be the adventure you’d mapped it out to be in your head.

Plus the ide of your fat ass swinging around on vines and running from giant rolling death balls made you smile.

“That’s a lot to have on your plate at once. But if anyone can do it, it’s you. But just know if you neglect your flower girl duties, you will be replaced” Pepper jokes and you giver her a “har har”

“You mean maid of honor duties” You verify.

“What? You cant be both? We also we’re thinking of having you be the ring bearer” You roll your eyes at the strawberry blonde who’s typing away at her blackberry. It’s such a familiar sight, a wave of nostalgia washes over you.

You’d spent a good chunk of your childhood looking up to her.

When the car pulls into the garage of what used to be Stark, but what was now Avengers tower you cant help but feel like you’re ten years olf again. Going to spend two weeks in the summertime with your “Tony Tino”

“So they should be out of their meeting in about twenty minutes, your bags are being brought to your room and the boxes got here a few days ago” Pepper confirms the plans to me as we make our way through the lush waiting room and into one of the many elevators.

“Okay, cool. I’ll just go start unpacking then-”

“Nope” She interjects and I shoot her a “why the hell not?” look.

“Tony said you should get something in your stomach. He know’s you never eat on planes” Pepper covers for herself quickly, not wanting you to see through her lie and ruin Tony’s surprise.

“Okay I guess. I’m not really hungry but you can show me the new kitchens. All he’s been talking about is how the upgrades we’re way cool” You seem to be tottaly oblivious wich makes her let out a metaphorical sigh of relief.

The kitchens are even more wicked then what Tony had told you and your eyes light up as you asses the huge room. The stainless steel and clean white walls making it look like something out of Star Trek.

“Hello Ms. Y/L/N” Fridays sing song robotic voice chimes from nowhere and you grin.

“Friday! How have you been?” You know she’s just a computer, just a hard drive, but you talk to her like she’s a real person.

Just like you used to do with Jarvis who, now, actually was a real person.

“I’ve been well, Ms. Y/L/N. Tony has missed you very much. He’s been very busy preparing for your stay. He’s instructed me to make sure you are fed because he knows you “barf” on airplanes. What can I have made for you? The chef’s specialty is French cusine”

You quirk your mouth at the word barf.

That was one time and you we’re fourteen. Would he ever let you forget it?

“Umm, just a bowl of fruit sounds good” You instruct her rolling your eyes at Pepper who insists you eat a more well rounded diet.

“Fine- and a yogurt”

You sit across Pepper, at one of the glass dining tables. You’d been hungrier then you’d realized and had eaten the entirety of the mixed fruit and yogurt happily. Your chatting about the NYU admissions when the door to the kitchens opens and people flooded in.

Those people being the Avengers- sans a couple members, but still, a decent(menacing) group. With Tony at the front.

The grin on his face is big- his eyes crinkling with crows feet as he approaches you, his arms dramatically open wide.

“Hey Tino!” You laugh as you hop down from the stool and walk over, giving him a tight squeeze. He wasn’t the tallest men, but was still much taller then you so you wrap your arms around his middle as he squeezes the life out of your head.

“Hey kiddo” He lets you go after a moment, putting a hand on your shoulder “How are you doing? Are you feeling better? Did you eat?” He looks you over as he speaks.

You look…different. Your hair is different, you’d cut at least a four or so inches off and it now sat just past your shoulders. It was lighter too.

“Yes god father, I ate. Chill out” You shake your head.

“You dyed your hair” It almost sounds like an accusation and you fight the urge to run your fingers through it self consciously.

Your hair had always reminded him so much of your moms…“It looks nice kid! Makes you look like you’re about thirty though”

“Don’t be mean to me!”

“I’m not- I’m not. I said it looks nice. Right Pepper, you heard that?” Tony looks to Pepper who’s still at the table, she just snorts at her fiancée.

“I think it brings out your eyes” Natasha pipes up as she comes up and gives you a short hug.

“Well thanks. At least someone here actually loves me. I missed you Nat, how have you been?”

And that’s how it goes, you making the rounds, reuniting with the people all around you.

Bruce blushes when you hug him tightly and ask him how things we’re hanging in the lab. Thor picks you up, as he always had, and told you how he missed his little lady. You think you hug Wanda the tightest. You’d kept in touch with her the most, you guys were close in age and you just clicked with her. You knew all about her little romance with Vision who you still had the urge to call Jarvis.

“You’ll always be Jarvis to me” You tell him. He, like Pepper, had watched you grow up.

Clint ruffles your hair in a way that makes you swat his hands away furiously. “How’ve you been, squirt?” Before Sam tells you you’d gotten a nice tan in Europe to which you cant help but bark a laugh at. “Okay creep” you punch his shoulder affectionately.

“Hey Steve” You beam at him reaching on the very tip of your toes to wrap him in a quick hug.

God, he’s still hot.

You’d had a thing for him back a few years ago. He was going through a rough patch and needed a friend and you had this inviting way about you that he’d melted into. It never got serious- you hadn’t even really kissed the guy but you’d been close.

You thought it would have been weirder seeing him again. Especially after the whole scene Tony had caused between the both of you but it wasn’t.

He still looked something akin to sunshine. His aura bright and golden.

And he was standing next to someone you’d never met- in person. But you knew exactly who the guy was.

You we’re a history major for fucks sake. Of course you knew who James Buchannan Barnes was.

“How’ve you been, Y/N? It’s been a while” Steve grins down at you.

“It really has, stranger. Thanks for keeping in contact. You know, I didn’t teach you how to properly text for nothing" You shoot at him, with no malice but it makes him shift uncomfortably on his feet.

“Yeah- I’m sorry. I should have checked in more it’s just been really hectic-” You watch him with a satisfied leer. You’d always loved making him squirm, and he just made it all too easy.

“You’re fine Steve” You wave him off “I get it. You’re still all technologically impaired. Guess I’m just not important enough for you”

You use that tone- the one that had always got him so worked up and he just puffs out a breath, shaking his head.

“That’s not- your messing with me” He catches on and you giggle and roll your eyes.

Oh, your sweet 40’s child.

“Always” You inform him before turning your attention to the man you hadn’t been formally introduced to yet and giving him a smile. That smile.

Bucky can see why you we’re known for being a flirt.

He’d just watched you work a room full of people, watched the way that the team reacted to your warmth. The way you seemed to have your own unique bond with everyone and he couldn’t lie- it was intriguing.

You’re pretty- in a way that he didn’t see a lot. Yeah, your bigger then he’d been expecting; all hips and thighs and a large bussom but there’s something eye catching about you. Maybe it’s the way your eyes are lined with sharp cat eye liner or the way your eyebrows arch. It reminds him of home, of the women that he’d grown up around.

“Hi, I’m Y/N” You hold your hand out to his. Your eyes are sparking with curiosity as he reaches down to take it.

“I’m-” He starts and you cut him off, your playful nature coming out.

“ Sargent James Buchannan Barnes? I’ve been learning about you since like kindergarten!”

“That so? You can call me Bucky” he drawls out.

“Bucky. It’s really nice to meet you. Any friend of Splangles here is a friend of mine. I mean unless you’re as boring as he is”

You really we’re a charmer. And he thought he’d been charming back in the day. You could run circles around him.

He can’t help the smooth chuckle that leaves his throat as Steve protests with an half offended “hey!”

“I’m just kidding, Steve. You know I love you!” You pinch his cheek, your nose scrunching before turning away from them and back to Tony.

Not before telling Bucky you were “Excited to pick his brain sometime”

Bucky’s gaze is focused on your retreating figure. He feels a little…dizzy. The way you feel when you get off a ride at Luna Park.

He doesn’t think he’s felt like this anytime this decade.

Steve shoots him a knowing look.

The Y/N effect.

“Told ya’ jerk” Steve pushes Bucky’s shoulder in a friendly manner as he passes him and Bucky shakes him, and the weird head high off with a quick “Punk”.

Tony hasn’t stopped talking since that first moment you’d been reunited and you hang onto every word. You’d always loved this about him; that he’d talk to you. And like, really conversation. Not just treat you like your were some dumb kid who couldn’t keep up.

You end up leaving the rest of the “Scooby gang” and you follow him to where you’re assuming is his office.

“Okay but how are they going to try and pass Government restrictions on you? It doesn’t make any sense? If they had half a brain they’d label you an international task force- but I mean then you’d have to deal with the UN more I guess. And aren’t they still super salty about the accords?…”

Tony’s over being impressed with the way your brain works. He’s been over it since you were eight and you’d called your teacher a facist.

“Super salty” Tony affirms with a sigh “But at least we have SHEILD backing us now. And there’s some new members. Oh yeah and Thors phycotic brother promised he won’t try to invade earth anymore”

You snort “Well that’s a relief I guess. He’s finally getting his younger sibling syndrome in check”

“I think Bruce scarred him for life”

“Good. He needed it. Where’s Rhodey? I noticed that he wasn’t down stairs” you ask the question that been bugging you.

“Oh yeah. He had a physical therapy appointment but he’ll be gracing us with his presence for dinner”

“How’s he doing?”

“You know Rhodey. He’s kicking PTs ass. He should be able to get back in the suit in a few months”

That makes you happy. Like genuinely so happy and relieved because you loved the shit out of Rohdey and you’d been really worried about him after the…accident.

“Yeah. He’s such a bad ass- uh hey Tino, where are we going? I thought your office was on the 47th floor?” You watch as the light around the 15 lights up, announcing your stop.

“I thought we’d make a detour. So I know you wanted to get your own apartment- but rent in the city is outrageous and you decided to humor your dear old god dad… So I improvised” Tony explains and your whole face is twisted up in confusion because what is he even talking about?

“What?” You hiss as the elevator doors ding open.

The room that’s revealed has your jaw dropping and harsh gasp ripping itself from your throat.

“Think of it as a graduation present” Tony’s happy- your reaction is just what he’d wanted.

You looked childlike as you took in the space. There were large, floor length windows that lined the furthest wall- the natural lighting was something out of a dream. The couches were plush and charcoal colored, an array of throw pillows lining them. There were white furry rugs and marble accents and gold lining to everything. The color scheme you were obsessed with.

“Tony oh my god! I love it!” You squeak. How had he gotten your tastes so well? “This is why pepper started following all my Pinterest boards huh?”

“We wanted it to feel like your own place. There’s a bed room and a bathroom back down that hall”

You turn to him, your bottom lip jutting out.

“Don’t cry!” He protests and you sniffle dramatically.

“I just- I can’t believe you had the time to do all of this. Thank you so so so so much, Tino. I love it. Best graduation gift ever”

He’d always spoiled you, a fact that you weren’t ignorant to but this… It almost felt like too much.

“I’m just happy you’re staying here. I think NYU and the internship will be really good for you. And Pepper needs someone to talk wedding plans with cause she’s staring to make my ears bleed with that shit-”

“And you want to keep an eye on me while I withdrawal?” You guess, saying what he hadn’t.

The atmosphere in the room seems to suddenly shift.

He chomps his teeth together with an audible snap and nods.

“We don’t know the entirety of side effects from coming off that drug so yes. I want you here while you do it. Even though I still don’t think it’s the best idea” Tony uses that parental voice you hate on you and you sigh and walk over to one of the Windows. Staring down bustling streets below you.

“I know, I don’t know if it’s the best idea either but somethings gotta’ give. I’m willing to try anything at this point…I don’t want to feel like this anymore” you whisper the last part.

Tony watches you, his arms folded over his chest as he deflates.

“Okay- just like I told you over the phone we’ll try it. Ween you off slowly. But if it gets too intense we’re starting them back up again”

I’m not gonna lose you too, is what he doesn’t say.

No matter how bad the idea of it scares you, you know it’s the best route. The only one you’ve got left.

—–

Dun dun dunnnnn. Y/N’s on drugs say what?! Trust me, it’s not what your thinking. Unless you’s a mind reader- then it’s exactly what your thinking. I’m thinking? We’re thinking?😂

Ps. My laptops acting super wonky so the tags should be up later! I promise I’ve got you guys lol! And continue to ask if you want to be tagged in upcoming parts.

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166595772104/naive-part-2 PART TWO

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166629591854/naive-part-3 PART THREE

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166664664834/naive-part-4 PART FOUR

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166703266654/naive-part-5 PART FIVE

[chogisad]

A Prayer For the Storm, a Shot of Vodka For the Fire | PT. 1

SUMMARY: The night the tank room collapses, everything changes. Some are searching for forgiveness, and some are searching for each other.

GENRE: Angst. POWERS AU. (WARNING: Brief mention of character deaths.)

Length: 3K.

TRAILER HERE

------ PART ONE  ------

Monday

Maracaibo is quiet for a Monday afternoon. The lights around the town begin to spring to life and Jongdae tells himself to enjoy the tranquility while it lasts. When summer starts, the streets will line with tourists and researchers, all hoping to experience Lake Maracaibo's "eternal storm."

On some days, Jongdae can see the lightning from his apartment's balcony. Its been months but every time, he becomes transfixed by the luminescent rays. They envelop the sky, over and over again, and on the bad days, when his own powers flare inside of him like thunder in the dead of night, they also help hide the way he loses control. On the bad days, when the electricity bursts out of him, Jongdae wishes he could be like Maracaibo; a sight to behold rather than terror and tragedy.

He walks the aging streets of his make-shift home. He's grateful for the Venezuelan color that helps him repress memories of ashen training rooms and botched simulations, of fires and flying, of telling Minseok to go on without him. It's all different here. It's quieter, so much that on the good days, Jongdae pretends he's safe. On the good days, Jongdae enjoys the persistent heat of Venezuela and forgets about how much he loved the frost of winter, and how beautiful Minseok looked with snow in his hair.

He finds a seat at one of the local bars and keeps his eyes down as he orders his drink.

"Quien estas tratando de olvidar?"

Jongdae stiffens at the sudden question, his heart clenching in cold fear. The glass is frozen midair as he gets caught under the gaze of the timeworn bartender, and Jongdae's vision blurs with panic.

"Estas tomando a las 7 de la tarde. Qual chica te daño?"

Jongdae almost cries with relief. The old man is simply making conversation, asking about the possible flame that broke his heart, rather than the stormy past he ran fast and far from. He smiles, hoping the other man did not register his overt alarm.

"La chica es la vida. Ya sabe como es," Jongdae replies, hoping he didn't trip over his gender pronouns too badly. The bartender nods solemnly but gives him an encouraging smile before placing another glass of whiskey in front of him.

"A la vida, mi chavo. Que un día nos sepa amar."

Jongdae drinks to that-- "to life, who may one day learn to love us."

Tuesday

Sehun checks his rearview mirror once, twice, three times in the course of five minutes. He takes a detour home, a different one every night, and parks down the street instead of in front of his building.

He takes the stairs instead of the lift. He checks to make sure the thin, unnoticeable ribbon is still in the door before he opens it. This is how he survives.

He only turns one light on at a time. The wooden floors of his flat creak under his weight; he likes it this way. Every step reminds him that he's still standing.

Sehun makes tea--three sugars-- and two slices of toast. He wanders alone in the darkness of his apartment until he reaches the right room. There's only a chair and a desk and the walls are papered with newspaper clippings and red marks, each pin pointing someone Sehun is trying to find.

He opens his laptop and stays illuminated in the fluorescent light of the screen.

"EUROPE - frost." He types into the search bar.

"NORTH AMERICA - floods."

"NORTH AMERICA - fires."

"ASIA - lightning."

Sehun takes notes in a worn journal. It's the eclectic collection of sketched dates and throwaway coordinates. Most of them are useless; only a few of them give him hope that one day he'll find his family.

Sehun showers and sits in the empty ringing of his living room. There's no furniture, only a blanket and a sheetless pillow. He tucks his knees under his chin and stares out the only window he left without a curtain. The blue haze from the city around him filters through the open blinds, and Sehun remembers nights they'd sit together in the dark, after a successful training session, and contain their powers to the palms of their hands.

Sehun loved the way lightning would dance across Jongdae's fingers. He remembers when they were younger, Jongdae would touch one of them and they'd all laugh as Minseok's or Yixing's or Jongin's long hair would stand on end.

Baekhyun knew how much they all hated the dark. He'd illuminate their dorm with orbs of light that'd twinkle brighter every time he laughed. Sehun remembers how Chanyeol would keep the room warm, and Baekhyun would keep it vibrant.

As they grew older and their powers strengthened, became more volatile, they became more weary of their abilities. After the fire, Jongdae stopped touching people. Minseok stopped making snowflakes. And Chanyeol was sent to sleep in his own room. After that, Baekhyun could never hold the light for very long outside of training rooms. The orbs would illuminate the space for a few minutes, but then they'd flicker and die out. They all grew accustomed to the darkness like that.

Before going to sleep, he fills a glass with water, and leaves it next to his makeshift bed, just like Junmyeon used to do. Sehun lays down on the hard floor. He tucks a tired arm under a tired head and tries to hold on to the memory of Junmyeon singing him to sleep. Sehun is afraid of all the people hunting him down. He's afraid of the things he's done, of everything he could still do. But despite the tragedy in his wake, Sehun is terrified he'll never find the people who learned to love a tempest storm.

Wednesday

Minseok often only remembers running. He remembers the tank room collapsing. He remembers the way pine needles raked at his skin and how he could count the sharp rocks embedding themselves further into his bare feet. The earth trembled underneath them; somewhere, Kyungsoo was determined to die before they took any of them again. He remembers tugging on Baekhyun so forcefully, remembers how the wind howled in his ears louder and louder as Sehun panicked someplace else in the forest.

Minseok comes home with groceries that night. Baekhyun is asleep on the couch and Minseok can't help but tuck the worn blanket tighter around the younger boy's shoulders. Baekhyun can't seem to ever get warm enough. He shivers on sunny days, and Minseok always feels like he isn't doing enough. He knows before, Baekhyun always had someone as warm as fire to go back to.

He tries to measure his steps as he makes dinner but Baekhyun wakes up eventually. He's ruffled hair and blanket around the shoulders and Minseok's heart softens. He makes Baekhyun tea and tells him about his day, about the new drink he tried at the coffee shop, about the little old lady he helped across the street. He keeps talking, forcing himself to fill the empty spaces Minseok created when he ran through the woods and away from the sounds of rushing water, away from the echoes of thunder.

He steps away from the stove, stops to take a breath, and meets Baekhyun's nervous smile. Before he can say anything else, Baekhyun's voice cuts across the kitchen counter; shaky but determined.

"There was another dust storm in Edinburgh." Baekhyun says, and Minseok's jaw clenches.

"Another earthquake in Colorado. And people are--"

"People are what, Baekhyun?" Minseok interjects, feeling the clench of his heart, knowing he always has to play the villain in these conversations. "Seeing a disappearing man in London? Another fire in Arizona? I don't know what you want me to--"

"I want you to help me fi--"

"Baekhyun, please--"

"These aren't coincidences! Minseok--"

"Look-- we just cant--"

"They could be waiting for--"

"There's other natural disasters out there besides us, Baekhyun!" Minseok snaps, too loud, too harsh, regretting it as soon as Baekhyun flinches and goes quiet.

"I need you to let me mourn them," Minseok mutters. He turns off the stove and retreats into the silence of his bedroom. He lays in the dark, his stomach twisting with guilt, and he falls asleep as the tears begin to dry on his pillow.

Hours later, he jolts awake to the first crack of thunder.

It sends him spiraling. He fists the bed sheets as his mind flickers through memories and he becomes entrapped to his own recollections.

Brown eyes and easy smile.

"Hi-- I'm Jongdae."

Static.

"I'm sorry."

Static.

"I can't always control it."

Static.

"Min, are we gonna die here?"

Static.

Junmyeon couldn't control the water and Luhan was drowning; they were all drowning. A gentle hand in his, shocking life back into his fading heart. The walls of the tank trembling.

''JONGDAE! JONGDAE!"

"GO! TAKE BAEKHYUN AND GO!"

"It's okay. It's okay. It'll pass." Baekhyun's gentle voice soothes him back to the present. Minseok clutches Baekhyun's hand under the covers, and squeezes his eyes shut as the entire room blazes with the first bolt of lightning. These storms always trigger memories Minseok tries to let go of; they trigger his remorse, calling for penitence. Its unspoken, the way Baekhyun finds his way into Minseok's room to ease him out of his nightmares. This is not the first storm they've weathered together, and Minseok knows it is not the last.

Thursday

Yixing knows he shouldn't but he can't help it. He can feel the small child hurting. He can feel the pain, sharp and hot, radiating off of his skin as his energy wanes out. Its like watching a camp fire die down; this small boy is nothing but smoke and embers, and Yixing knows he's not going to make it.

Yixing knows his parents are in the lobby, praying, unaware that their child is on the brink of nothingness, fate sealed long before they brought him into the emergency room. He knows he shouldn't draw more attention to himself but the boy, with his short hair and lanky figure, reminds him of another boy, who couldn't always time his landing and had the record for most broken bones amongst them.

Yixing remembers the night the proctors forced Yifan to fly higher, forced all of them to watch. Sehun was barely four, and shaking with fear, his own powers agitating the sky until Yifan fell. None of them reacted in time and in his nightmares, Yixing can sometimes hear the shattering bones he was not strong enough to heal.

He places gentle fingers over the boy's cold hand and focuses. He was not able to save Yifan, but maybe he can save someone else instead. The room hums suddenly with warm energy, and Yixing can feel the young boy absorb his power, can feel his heart strengthening, can see the color returning to his skin. The boy takes in a gulping breath of air, and the monitors around him being to keep loudly. Yixing leaves the room quietly. Like on so many occasions, he makes his way to the camera room and erases the tapes from that room, on that day. The people of this hospital will accredit another miracle to God, and Yixing will sleep with a sounder conscience.

Friday

Junmyeon finds it ironic that the darkness feels like drowning. It sits heavy on his heart, reminding him of everything he's lost.

Once upon a time, he was rather good at isolation.  He was born in the institute. He had no family to be ripped away from. He jumped when they said jump, he ate when they decided he'd earned it, and he spent his first few years of life thinking the world was made up of their commands and his submission.

Sehun and the others changed that. The institute wanted them to be weapons; they tried to teach them to kill and maim, but in their hearts, they taught themselves otherwise. The deaths they encountered were always accidents, always the consequence to losing control. They never blamed each other. But whether it was the smoke, or the fall, or the tank, someone always felt at fault. Someone would always carry a single name on their conscience.

Junmyeon thinks of this, of his family, as he suspends two tons of water in the air. He remembers the tank room, the way the walls stood like gravestones, and the way he could not get them out. With a flick of his wrist, the water propels as a jet into the wall of the empty pool, cracking the concrete. He does it again, stepping back as giant shards of rubble twist through the air. If only he could've been strong enough to save Luhan.

He fills the pool and walks on water. This too is ironic. The Professor once told him he and the others would be like gods amongst men. Junmyeon knows these gods are vengeful, and one day, the people who hurt him will pay for their sins.

Saturday

"Energy cannot be created or destroyed; that is the basic law of the universe." The physics professor instructs from the front of the lecture hall. Jongin writes down information from the powerpoint. He takes careful notes despite knowing that the universe sometimes has loopholes; he's proof of that.

The lecture ends and the stooped hall begins to empty.  Jongin gathers his belongings and makes his way to the courtyard. He pulls his peacoat tighter around himself as the frosty England air stirs the leaves, and his eyes wander over the Oxford cobblestones; all mismatched, all placed around each other to create something coherent.

"Hey," Kyungsoo brings him out of his reverie. He holds a paper cup out to him, and Jongin scrunches his nose.

"I don't drink--"

"I know," Kyungsoo sighs. "Its peppermint tea."

Jongin smiles, adding a little bow of gratitude. He makes space for Kyungsoo on the wooden bench, and they sip their drinks in the silence. They watch other students pass them by; Jongin feels out of place amongst people who are so paradoxically ordinary.

"How was your lesson?" He asks Kyungsoo, who takes a comtimplary drink before answering.

"The professor read medieval lit again. It was interesting." Kyungsoo shrugs. "Yours?"

"She talked about the laws of the universe; said matter can't be created. I thought about Jun and Minseok. They created a type of matter, right?"

Kyungsoo looks at the sky. He avoids Jongin's questioning gaze.

"Logic doesn't really apply to us. I think we'd be considered anomalies."

Jongin only nods.

"Lets go home," Kyungsoo says and they make their way to the main street in a pensative quiet. They take a cab home; Kyungsoo never teleports with Kai. They both know it reminds him too much of the last time it happened.

The night the tank room collapsed, Jongin made one choice to change everything. The others laid around him, sputtering, trying to swallow down as much air as humanly possible when the alarms started blaring.

"The-- the fence! Jongdae! Short circuit the fence!" Minseok yelled, helping a shaking Junmyeon to his feet.

They'd all looked, panicked, at the fence that was on the verge of collapse but still humming with electricity. They'd talked about escaping. They'd all fantasized about living different lives where their gifts were not weapons. Each of them had dreamt a version of life where they could be normal, and this was their one chance.

The forest around them was illuminated by Jongdae's lightning but Jongin's gaze was focused on Luhan. His eyes were closed, his wet hair matted on his forehead, as he lay amongst the rubble; dead.

"They're coming! RUN!" Junmyeon ordered, and Chanyeol was the first to turn his power against the men clad in white security gear. The trees came toppling down, giant flares of fire consuming their old trunks, and the entire forest became a war zone.

The wind howled, loud, angry and frightened, and slabs of steel flew through the air with it. Jongin could see his breath as razor sharp icicles cut through their surroundings, embedding themselves in the guards firing their weapons.

Jongin was immobile, his ears ringing with white noise as the entire world shook.

Yifan. Luhan. Tao.

He couldn't fathom watching someone else he loved die. Not like this. Not again.

"JONGDAE! JONGDAE!"

"GO! TAKE BAEKHYUN AND GO!"

The earth trembled beneath him. Someone screamed in pain. The air was cloying with dirt and dust and the smell of sulfur.

"SEHUN! WE'LL FIND YOU. GO." Junmyeon ordered and Jongin was choking on his desperation, useless as the legions of men clad in white came closer and closer.

Not again.

Jongin made his choice. He prayed they would forgive him. He prayed one day he'd get the chance to apologize.

Jongin reached out and placed his hand firm on Kyungsoo's shoulder. The universe went black and dry and Jongin felt a familiar compression on his lungs before their feet were touching solid concrete.

"YIXI-" Kyungsoo's shout died in his throat. He whipped around, eyes wide and furious.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" He snarled, rounding on Jongin.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, feeling the ground beneath him vibrate dangerously.

"TAKE US BACK. TAKE US BACK, NOW." Kyungsoo demanded, grabbing Jongin by the white collar of his uniform.

"I'm sorry." Jongin repeated, letting Kyungsoo shake him.

"HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU?" Kyungsoo screamed, and Jongin braced himself. He would take the brunt of Kyungsoo's fury, would take every angry hit, if it meant Kyungsoo was alive.

Instead, Kyungsoo fell to his knees. The sobs that raked through his entire body echoed down the empty street and Jongin only stood motionless. He prayed they would forgive him. He prayed one day Kyungsoo would forgive him.

Sunday

The room is black with smoke. Somewhere, someone is screaming for help but Chanyeol can't see anything, can't hear through the panic pulsing hot and red in his ears. The flames don't stop coming. They lick at his palms, set more of the world ablaze and he tries to close his fists but that only makes them stronger.

The curtains, the bed sheets-- everything around him is fire. He stumbles toward Baekhyun's bed, toward Jongin's bed; empty.

The dream shifts violently and Yixing is crouching next to Tao's body. Chanyeol wills himself to wake up; he's lived this too many times. Yixing concentrates and the room buzzes with a warm energy but as soon as it starts, it goes cold, like a graveyard, like a coffin, like wilted flowers in the middle of a winter freeze. The colors are draining fast from the world, turning sleep into nightmare. Yixing's voice echoes with familiarity, sometimes angry, sometimes disbelieving, sometimes full of so much grief Chanyeol wishes the fire were corporeal enough to scorch the memory away; "He's dead. It--it was the smoke..."

The real walls of his real life come into focus. Chanyeol tries to lie very still, but it feels like the shadows are crawling, unearthing a culpability he tried so hard to forget. He reaches over and turns on his bedside lamp; it's been two years and he isn't accustomed to darkness. He always had someone made out of pure light sleeping next to him. Chanyeol stares at the ceiling and wipes the sweat from his forehead. He ignores the taste of salt on his lips, the dry tear streaks on his cheeks.

"It wasn't your fault. We know you can't control it."

His movements are robotic, a monotonous whir of motion that barely get him through the day. Chanyeol never feels the cold of the tile floor, never even notices that the hot water stopped working in his shower weeks ago. He dresses in dry colors that never attract attention and makes his way to his small kitchen.

"Took you a while to wake up."

Chanyeol almost screams, his fists instantly sparking with orbs of flames as years of training kick into overdrive.

"Woah-- woah!" Sehun shoots up from the couch, his hands up in surrender. "Its just me!"

The air in Chanyeol's apartment stales and he drops to his knees, shaking his head in disbelief. The flames are extinguished. He's imagining this. He must be imagining this.

"Hyung?" Sehun whispers, frightened, the excitement in his heart deflating more and more with each second.

"This isn't real. This isn't real." Chanyeol whimpers, digging his nails into his palms. He spent weeks imagining Tao after the fire, all sad smile and empty eyes. Tao would never say anything, never throw blame, he'd just observe Chanyeol's life from the shadows, not letting Chanyeol forget.

"Hyung-- Its just me." Sehun tries again. He steps forward, kneels in front of his friend, and places a trembling hand on Chanyeol's shoulder.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to find you." His voice is an unsteady murmur, heavy with the sudden realization that they were together, after two years, Sehun wasn't alone anymore.

"Sehun?" Chanyeol's voice is quieter than a gust of wind, afraid, already broken.

"Yeah, its m--oomph!" Chanyeol doesn't let him finish. He launches himself at the younger boy and squeezes him in his arms. Sehun holds Chanyeol tightly, buries his face in the crook of Chanyeol's neck and half giggles and half sobs; relieved, ecstatic, and terrified all at once.

They both cry into the embrace, hearts swelling with unimaginable hope as the seconds tick by. Chanyeol's mind is buzzing, and he holds fistfuls of Sehun's shirt in his hands, pulling him even closer. Chanyeol wonders if this is what it feels like to be saved from drowning.

"Hyung," Sehun pulls away. Chanyeol runs his eyes over every aspect of Sehun's features, trying to memorize him, never wanting to forget any detail of this single moment.

"How did you find me?" Chanyeol whispers and Sehun gives him a tear stained smile.

"Google." He answers, before he's helping Chanyeol back on his feet.

"Hyung, the others. I know where they are."

Chanyeol takes a deep breath, deeper than any he's been able to manage in the past few years.

"Together-- we'll find them together."

© Chogisad

MASTERLIST

[fuckdavestriderheistheworst-blog]

you too buddy all the SO questions

ugh why damn it i did not ask to be punished by means of talkin about vantas until my fingertips bleed

but fine

Significant Other Asks

1. Tell the story about how you met.

it was over the summer about three years ago and tumblr kept pushing a certain blog at me and upon checking it out i decided to give him some troll asks (which looking back upon now were lame as fuck? what was i thinking honestly)

anyway that became me revealing my blog over tumblr and then lo and behold we had a college class together and we realized we were sitting beside each other and i told him that his major was an “easy major” or something and basically he hated me for a while there 

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for sure i went from picking on him to agreein to let him tutor me in english to craving his friendship and then falling in love with him without even realizing

before i knew it i was head over heels and here i am, happy as fuck that im dating my best friend

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes go from being like cinnamon to being like hot chocolate, in color accordin to lighting and in mood, his hands are warm and comforting to hold and are quick as all hell on a keyboard, and his laugh is rare but memorable, like its dusty from misuse and drizzled over with the annoyance i usually provide him

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

i had to google what my zodiac was because i think both of those things are bullshit but im a saggitarius and an isfp (or was it istp i dont remember its been years)

vantas is a gemini and...

i dont think he ever tested for it because he isnt internet quiz garbage but hey what does it matter without knowing his results i know that we are a fine match

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

no, yes, and probably this evening when i bring back dinner

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

something that makes me feel really happy to remember is the new years eve after he got those color correcting glasses and i took him to watch the fireworks and he was so happy and amazed at the color and the show and i was so proud that i could do that for him

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

one time i groaned into his ear and called him daddy to test and see if he had a daddy kink or not and he was SO into it so now im waiting to call him daddy again when he least expects it

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

yeah as far as i know both sides are

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

we sort of have pets together but theyre also just kinda our own pets but with shared care 

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

i dont really want kids and i dont think vantas does either like ever we arent even married and also having kids would be a hassle

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

i usually just sit and talk to him and support him like a friend and boyfriend should do its not really anything special but it works every time

sometimes i surprise him with relatively cheap gifts or food too but he doesnt like me splurgin so i try not to make him uncomfortable

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

same thing really hes always there for me to make me feel better and talk things through 

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

scolding me like he is a third parent, somehow its endearing when he does it

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

yeah weve gone on a few sort of technically 

that one road trip to texas we took and spent a while on

the trip to malibu

were planning (or i am) for a trip to europe this summer if its at all possible with our schedules

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

that im enough just being who i am and that i can have a relationship without cash at the forefront

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you?

you dont have to bend over backwards for somebody to please them or make them like you just be yourself

not the exact wording but that is the moral

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

we take turns but i dont like to kill them unless theyre wasps or venomous spiders id prefer to catch and release

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

neither of us can cook for shit so other people prepare our meals for us always

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

i like taco bell and pizza hut, yes, and i dont think weve ever done either

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly.

we used to get aggressive over gay chicken sometimes early on in our friendship that was always fucking ridiculous

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

one time vantas said he was disappointed in me and i took it hard and im pretty sure it ended with him leaving but i dont remember what brought it on or how serious vantas had been or how sensitive i had been

we got over it. not sure i learned any super moral from that but it did help me learn about him better in the long run and vice versa

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner?

will and jada pickett smith

24. Do you have a shipname?

vantder i dont know 

maybe film boyfriends because he writes and i sort of direct

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa?

we sort of click here and there but mostly our interests are different 

i know he isnt super into art but he shows up to support me like he went to the award event with me and said he was proud of me and i like to offer up romcoms and movies akin to his interests when we settle in for date nights

he is supportive as hell but i dont think either of us have ever made a point of saying we arent interested in the other’s interests

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

he helped me to be better about takin school seriously so id say yes 

he has also changed my opinion about myself almost completely

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them.

when he got that book deal i was so happy i felt like huggin on him for days

i knew he could do it and it made me real proud to know that he did it and i am STILL proud of him

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled?

yeah both are heavily involved and fuck i hope so im not sure how much more i can step up my game

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk all the goddamn time and basically never leave each others side

i know i regularly stay up hells of late talking to him because i like it so much

talks get so much deeper at night when youre curled up next to somebody you love

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

were both assholes with sarcasm as our main crutch and im pretty sure we have both laughed at the others expense at one point or another but i would have to say that we are damn near a tie because both of us have a pretty deplorable sense of humor stand up comedy will not be in our futures any time soon

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

no i cant think of anybody who is against our relationship

nobody that matters anyway

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

i mean i hit my head and got retrograde amnesia and still had feelings for him so i think that eliminated any doubt i developed feelings just because of sex

i didnt remember it and i still loved him

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

vantas

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

vantas has stamina when it comes to running and shit for DAYS i thought id die the first time i went running with him

hes also a really great writer and im not just saying that to be supportive i think if he sat down and wrote a book itd get a film adaptation nigh instantaneously

steven spielberg would shit himself

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

god i just fucking love his eyes and his lips and his hair and the way that he scoffs over dumb “rich guy” things and how good his coffee is when he makes it and how i can NEVER replicate it that good even when he guides me through makin it. i love the sound of his voice in the mornings and late at night when i should be asleep but am clinging onto him and talkin about nothing in particular. i love how he says my name and i especially love that hes the only one who really calls me by my last name so affectionately. i love the way he reads and i love the way he still looks a little too long at colorful things sometimes when we are outside and walking. i love the way his hand fits with mine and i love that we can reassure each other through anything, that we will be there for each other through anything. i can easily see myself spendin the rest of my life with him and if not as a boyfriend then as a best friend 

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

weve talked about moving in together or gettin a house but our careers are pretty up in the air right now except for vantas’ teaching job. i think we make a fuckin great team and id love to spend the rest of my life with him in any way shape or form

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple?

pick your best friend to fall in love with because youll never have a better love than that

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@crimsongenetics hey vantas sorry for gettin all gushy here i hope i dont make you throw up at school i love you

[ravenmorganleigh]

Whenever I go back and forth between Europe and the States, a curious set of facts strikes me.

In London, Paris, Berlin, I hop on the train, head to the cafe — it’s the afternoon, and nobody’s gotten to work until 9am, and even then, maybe not until 10 — order a carefully made coffee and a newly baked croissant, do some writing, pick up some fresh groceries, maybe a meal or two, head home — now it’s 6 or 7, and everyone else has already gone home around 5 — and watch something interesting, maybe a documentary by an academic, the BBC’s Blue Planet, or a Swedish crime-noir. I think back on my day and remember the people smiling and laughing at the pubs and cafes.

In New York, Washington, Philadelphia, I do the same thing, but it is not the same experience at all. I take broken down public transport to the cafe — everybody’s been at work since 6 or 7 or 8, so they already look half-dead — order coffee and a croissant, both of which are fairly tasteless, do some writing, pick up some mass-produced groceries, full of toxins and colourings and GMOs, even if they are labelled “organic” and “fresh”, all forbidden in Europe, head home — people are still at work, though it’s 7 or 8 — and watch something bland and forgettable, reality porn, decline porn, police-state TV. I think back on my day and remember how I didn’t see a single genuine smile — only hard, grim faces, set against despair, like imagine living in Soviet Leningrad.

Everything I consume in the States is of a vastly, abysmally lower quality. Every single thing. The food, the media, little things like fashion, art, public spaces, the emotional context, the work environment, and life in general make me less sane, happy, alive. I feel a little depressed, insecure, precarious, anxious, worried, angry — just like most Americans do these day. So my quality of life — despite all my privileges — is much worse in America than it is anywhere else in the rich world. Do you feel that I exaggerate unfairly?

It’s not just an anecdote, of course. Americans enjoy lower qualities of life on every single indicator that you can possibly think of. Life expectancy in France and Spain is 83 years, but in America it’s only 78 years — that’s half a decade of life, folks. The same is true for things like maternal mortality, stress, work and leisure, press freedom, quality of democracy — every single thing you can think of that impacts how well, happily, meaningfully, and sanely you live is worse in America, by a very long way. These are forms of impoverishment, of deprivation — as is every form of not realizing potential that could be.

But I don’t wish to write a jeremiad, for I am not a pundit. The question is this: why don’t Americans understand how poor their lives have become? Is it even a fair question to ask?

Of course, one can speak of capitalism and false consciousness and class war, of technology hypnotizing people with outrage. But I think there is a deeper truth here. There is a myth of exceptionalism in America that prevents it from looking outward, and learning from the world. It is made up of littler myths about greed being good, the weak deserving nothing, society being an arena, not a lever, for the survival of the fittest — and America is busy recounting those myths, not learning from the world, in slightly weaker (Democrats) or stronger (Republicans) forms. Still, the myths stay the same — and the debate is only really about whether a lightning bolt or a thunderstorm is the just punishment from the gods for the fallen, and a palace or a kingdom is the just reward for the cunning.

Hence, I have never once sees in America a leader saying, “hey! See that British healthcare system? That German union and pension system? Why don’t we propose that? They work!!” Instead, the whole American debate is self-referential — pundits debating Andrew Jackson (LOL) instead of, say, what the rest of the world does today in 2017. How can a broken society grow only by looking inwards? If you are a desperate, heart-broken addict, what can you learn from yourself? Won’t you only, recounting your pain, reach for the needle quicker? So we must look outwards, always, to learn best and truest — but I will return to that.

Still, though, “why don’t Americans get it!” is an unfair question unless we ask it for both sides. So let us look at the picture from the opposite side, to see if our question is worth asking.

Do Europeans “get it” — how good their lives are, relatively speaking? Well, in Europe, regressive forces are at work, too — not as badly as in America, but rising, to be sure, in every single nation. So Europeans, too, at least enough to seat extremist parties in parliaments, take their quality of life for granted a little. Why would that be? Probably because they have now grown up with the gift their grandfathers and grandmothers gave them — constitutions in which healthcare, education, dignity, and so on, are essential rights — which are what underpin Europe’s stunningly high quality of life. Hence, regressive forces in Europe say “these people must not have rights!”, not understanding that those very rights, enshrined in rewritten constitutions, are exactly how Europe rose in a generation from the ruins of war, to the highest living standards ever, period — and to take them away is to begin erasing history.

So just as Americans don’t get how bad their lives really are, comparatively speaking — which is to say how good they could be — so too Europeans don’t fully understand how good their lives are — and how bad, if they continue to follow in America’s footsteps, austerity by austerity, they could be. Both appear to be blind to one another’s mistakes and successes.

Now. What does that really mean? We are living in a world unable to learn from itself. What would sane societies do, watching each other, watching each other’s fortunes rise and fall? A sane America would look at Europe, see it’s tremendously higher quality of life in every possible regard, and say, “My God! That is what we should reach for, too!”. And a sane Europe would look at America, see it’s falling life expectancy and imploding middle class, and say, “My God! We must never become that!” But you see, the irony is this: both are doing precisely the opposite. Europe is fighting against becoming more American, and America is not fighting to become more European. (Of course, I don’t mean culturally — I mean in terms of constitutions, institutions, economy, polity, and social contracts).

History teaches us tragedy with irony. And this to me is the greatest irony of now. We are making three great mistakes in this age. The first is that we cannot learn from modern history — which is the story of Trump and America and tyranny. The second is that we cannot learn from deep history — that the whole story of human progress has been written by lifting one another up, not keeping anyone else down, and so the seductive ur-myth of the fascist, that I rise by pulling you down, right down into the abyss, is mesmerizing societies whole.

The third mistake we are making, though, is more invisible, and perhaps the greatest of all — what this essay is about: we cannot learn from one another anymore. How do we learn things? We can learn only in these three ways: from our own mistakes, from the mistakes all people have made, or from the fortunes and misfortunes of our peers. And of those three, the swiftest way to learn is to simply look at what others are doing, that work, and copy it.

Mimicry, of course, is how babies learn the most basic things — yet we cannot seem to even handle that much. So here is the unforgiving truth. We, in this age, this time, have regressed to something past an infantile state: we cannot even manage the mimicry that babies perform happily, the most basic form of learning that exists. We have regressed beyond regression itself.

And so we live in an age that feels paralyzed, stuck, unable to even grow like a baby does. It is failing the most basic test of all: the test of ignorance, of folly, of being unable to see, hold, mature, develop, grow. History is easy to forget — and it’s easiest of all to take it for granted when you are the one who has not learned from it yet. What do you call a world that can’t learn from itself? It is not even a baby. It is something more like an old man, on the edge of darkness.

Umair December 2017

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A Brother’s promise pt.1; Bucky x teen reader

Okay now that I’ve gotten up all my Peter Quill oneshots for Chris Pratt’s bday, I can now go back and finish up my Bucky masterlist and once that is all done, MY MASTERLIST WILL BE COMPLETELY UPDATES WOOOOOO!! Now be prepared for some brotherly feels but at the end it ends with angst but don’t worry I’ll post up pt. 2 immediately after this. I hope you guys enjoy it. Warnings for assault and swearing but other than that FEELS AND FLUFF.

Taglist:

@evyiione

______________________________________________________

*1943*

It was just your average Spring day up here in Brooklyn, NY.  Except that we were on the brink of war with Germany.  Able-bodied young men or veterans from the last World war signed up to join the allies and fight off Germany and the Axis powers and my brother was fortunately one of the men who had passed his physical exams and now was waiting for his orders to come in.  It was fortunate for them because my brother was probably the best man they could have, but unfortunate for me personally because he's the only family I've got left, well except for Steve but let's face it I'm looking after him more than him for me *but poor sweetie he does try to defend me as best he can when it comes to boys wanting me for my body when my brother isn't around*. 

I decided to go see a movie today after waking up to find the house empty, probably because Buck may have been called in to receive his orders.  So since I had no responsibilities to do today I thought eh why not go see what cartoon's are showing in the cinemas today.  I purchased my ticket and got a small candy bar to snack on during the movie.  I managed to find a seat in the crowd and the lights dimmed ready for the movie to start. But just before the film started, an advertisement promoting what is happening over seas at the war and what we as fellow citizens can do to help the soldiers that are fighting to protect us.  I began to think that maybe I could be a nurse since I am in a nursing program at school studying to become one after I graduate from High school.  

But of course Big Brother Best Friend disagrees.

He thinks I should collect scrap metal and work in the factory or sew up uniforms, anything to stay here on American soil.

But it was then a male's voice cried out.

"Who cares! Would you just play the movie!" Very loudly and obnoxiously I might point out.

"Show some respect you asshole" I muttered as the ad continued to roll on how we as citizens can help.

"Come on! Let's go! Hey just start the cartoon!" The boy said again.  He was even starting to make some people in the theater cry, angry, annoyed, even insulted at what he was saying because most of them had family members (like me) who were already in Europe fighting in the war some even had received word that either husbands, brothers or sons have been either Killed or Missing in action.  My hands were shaking with rage at this asshole's mockery.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BASTARD!!!!" I exclaimed in rage as the male now stood up and turned around to face me. My eyes narrowed viciously.

I punched him across the face as we were now in an alleyway and kicked him in the balls making him cringe and fall to the ground.

"Maybe next time you'll have some respect for the men in the uniform! Especially towards their family members!" I was mainly speaking about Bucky and how anyone who disrespects the soldiers disrespects him personally and I HATE when people talk about my brother in a negative or cruel way behind his back. I adjusted my purse and walked away from the alleyway but then the next thing I knew I was tackled from behind and pushed up against the wall with my arms pinned to my side and my chin being grasped in this scum's free hand.

"You know, I like a woman with fire in her. You'd make a pretty cute doll".  He forced his lips on mine making me scream and try to push him off me but he made sure to keep my hands pinned and my legs immobile by pinning his whole body on top of mine.

"HEY!!" The boy was soon pulled away from me and standing protectively in front of me now was my Brother Bucky Barnes. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to treat women nicely, especially girls that are younger than you!" He snarled protectively.  The bully tried to throw a weak punch at my brother but he dodged it and sucker punched the bully across the jaw before literally kicking him in the butt towards the wall and pinning him against it while taking his wrists and pulling his arms behind him.  The bully cried out in pain as my brother sneered, "now you apologize to my sister or you'll have to find a way to walk without your arms OR your legs!" Bucky pulled the bully's arms back further making him cry out in agony. "APOLOGIZE!"

"OKAY MAN OKAY!! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! UNCLE MAN UNCLE!!"

"Now get out of here!" Bucky tossed him aside and kicked him in the butt again and this time the bully ran as fast as his legs could carry him.  Bucky turned towards me and said."Sometimes I think I should just put a leash on you so you don't go running into trouble".

"Like that would honestly work Buck, besides I managed to beat him up a bit before the bastard took me by surprise".

"Uh-huh".

"I did! I kicked him in the balls!"

"Alright now watch your language young lady, what would mom say if she could hear you talk like this?"

"She'd make me wash my mouth off with soap over ten times".  Bucky then grabbed my purse from the floor just a bit away from where I was tackled and handed it back to me which I accepted and finally took notice of his uniform. "You got your orders?" Bucky looked down at himself and said.

"The 107th, Sargent James Barnes, and shipping out for England first thing tomorrow".  My heart dropped.  Tomorrow? He was leaving so soon? This early after being drafted for only a few weeks. I clenched the handle of my purse and said solemnly.

"Guess we should go home and pack your stuff".  I didn't want him to leave this early, truthfully I didn't want him to leave at all. I know it sounds selfish of me but hey I'm his little sister so I've gotta be selfish at least once or twice right?

Bucky smiled softly and wrapped his arm around my shoulder bringing me close and noogied me softly,

"Hey come on sis, it's my last night. Don't make me remember my baby sister with a frown on her face".

"I'm not a baby!" I retorted.

"Yes you are, you're my wittle baby-waby sister!" Bucky teased.

"Shut up jerk-face!" I pushed on his chest freeing myself from his grip and adjusted my hair from his brotherly noogies.  I grinned back at him and exclaimed "race yah home!" Bucky then ran after me and the two of us raced back to our apartment.

Just when I was about to win by reaching the stairs, I was picked up and placed at the side of the stairs by Bucky allowing him to run up the stairs first.

"Hey! No fair! Cheater!" 

"All's fair in love and war sister dear! Besides you never established ground rules!" I raced after him and then he reached the door first and a few seconds later I got to the door. "What took you so long slow-poke?"

"You cheated and you know it. I feel sorry for the 107th division knowing that they'll have a cheater on board their unit".

"Wanna repeat that?" As I unlocked the door then as soon as I got it open, he head-locked me and dragged me inside as the two of us playfully growled and cried out battle cries and sounds as we wrestled until he had me pinned on the couch.

"Get off me you goober!"

"Sorry what was that?"

"Oh I know you can hear me jerk-face!"

"Come again. I can't hear over the sounds of how awesome I am".

"Oh that's really mature Buck, now get off me pretty please?" I then busted out my secret weapon.

The triple decker, sweet and adorable bunny face *with nose twitch*. I leaned up against his face allowing my nose to twitch against his cheek as he exclaimed in a playfully dying tone.

"Oh no, not that! No please stop it, I can't take it. It's too much, Oh God no I cant--I......" He then fell to the ground "dead" with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

"Take that Sargent, not even a hard core soldier can withstand the power of the Bunny face!" It was then Bucky suddenly tackled me back onto the couch making the two of us laugh.  As we began to settle down, my sadness soon started coming back to me.  My eyes lost their happy sparkle and my lips formed into a frown.

"Hey, come here you," Bucky lifted me up and held me close to his chest allowing me to cry into his shoulder.  "Shhh, easy girl, easy, easy now. Shhh, it's okay, okay it's okay shh".

"I'm gonna miss you Buck, I wish you didn't have to go".

"And believe me when I say that I wish I didn't either. But we need all the soldiers we can get, I have to go, besides they'll need a little class with me over there".  We both softly laughed then Bucky raised my chin up to look me in the eyes and said as he wiped away my tears, "but please (y/n), don't let my last memory of you be you crying for me, I want to see that beautiful smile on your face can you show me that smile now?" With my tears and broken heart I couldn't quite give him that 'ray of sunshine' smile he says I have, but my lips did twitch a bit in a lope-sided smile.  "Now that wasn't it, I deserve to see that smile, even if I have to force it outta yah".  He then began tickling my sides.

I thrashed and tried to escape his tickly hands but he had me trapped against the couch and him but each time I tried to push him away, he would move onto the next available open space to tickle me.  After awhile of begging, he finally stopped and allowed me to breathe.

"And I even got to hear that beautiful laugh too, a bonus for Big Brother".

"Yeah--right...... you nearly tickled me to death you jerk!" Bucky grinned smugly but then his face softened as he stroked my hair out of my eyes and tucked them behind my ear. "Oh God, I soaked your uniform with my stupid tears".

"Hey, don't worry about that that'll dry quick no one will notice, but you however are a different story (n/n)" he wiped my tears away with his thumb and continued, "I'll make sure to write as much as I can, and if that knucklehead Steve stays here, he'll be here to take care of you. I won't let myself be killed that easily because I have something else important worth fighting for besides freedom".  He smiled at me and I smiled back at him.  "There it is, there's that smile I've been waiting for" he kissed my forehead, cheeks, and nose before Eskimo kissing me making me softly laugh.

"Promise you'll come back home safe and sound?" He stroked my cheek and said.

"I'll promise this; when and if I come back from the war, as soon as we're back together. You. Me. The old cabin in the woods, just like when we were kids. We'll take the trail that mom and dad took us on every year we went there, and it'll just be the two of us together camping the whole time for 3 months, how's that sound sis?" The old cabin just my Big brother and I? Catching fireflies, watching the stars and making pictures with them, roasting marshmallows making s'mores, doing everything we use to do when we were kids? 

Heck yeah that sounded good.

I sniffled and nodded with a smile on my face.  Bucky smiled back and embraced me back as he kissed my head softly as he stroked my hair.

"I love you baby sis".

"Love you too Big Brother Best Friend".

*FF TWO YEARS LATER*

Hoping to have my brother back soon with news of the allies winning gave me hope that that camping trip was still on.  But it wasn't until I heard a knock at the door.  I opened the door revealing a group of men, one of them actually being the famous Howard Stark, and a woman.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes are you Miss (y/n) Barnes?" The woman asked.

"Yes I am, why?"

"Miss Barnes my name is Agent Peggy Carter, your brother and friend Steve Rogers fought along side us, Howard Stark helped design Captain Roger's weapons and these other gentlemen were apart of the Howling Commandos alongside your brother, there was to be a telegram to be sent to you but we felt like you should receive the news in person," Peggy then began to tell me how my brother fell off a movie train during a mission defending Steve, and how Steve saved the city of New York by putting the ship in the water.

My heart stopped and my body froze.

Next thing I remember, I'm leaning against Miss Carter crying as I fell to my knees.  My brother and best friend whom I've considered another big brother are both dead. But that wasn't the worse thing, as crazy as it sounds it wasn't the worst thing.

The worst thing was that Bucky broke his BBBFF promise to me.

[imperfectfools]

Everybody Leaves

(( sb: dont u have replies to do?? me: i cant hear u over the sound of my daughter crying ))

The badge had long since left the podium, but Franziska stared at the spot where it used to be. It was easy enough to imagine it still there, after all, the image of it just sitting there had burned itself into her retinas.

“...Consider this my resignation. I am… no longer a prosecutor.”

Her ears were still ringing as if it hadn’t been a small pin tapping the hardwood, but instead a bomb going off. It’d felt like a bomb after all.

“You, you’re running away from the von Karma… from me?!”

They were supposed to be a pair. That time...

“Today, you chased after me, after I had left you behind all these years. And that's why we're standing here now, side by side. But I have no intention of stopping. If you say you are going to quit your walk down the prosecutor's path…. Then, this is where we part ways, Franziska von Karma.”

“You’re a liar, Miles Edgeworth.” Side by side? What a farce. He’d always run, probably to some greener, better pasture. He ran to California. He ran back to Europe, but not to her. He ran to Wright. He ran and ran and ran.

And now he was running away from her once again. And it was somehow more painful that he was still alive and doing the running - that he was doing this rationally. That she knew her brother well enough that her words would’ve meant nothing.

“Uh, sir?”

Franziska blinked and shifted her gaze away from the empty podium to detective Gumshoe. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, then again, most things he did were done so sheepishly.

“You think of somethin’? You got this look in your eyes like Mr. Edgeworth gets sometimes.”

She grit her teeth together. “Don’t you have a thief to be chasing after?”

“No way, sir! You don’t really think Kay did it, do you?! She’d never-!”

She knew. And, honestly, she didn’t think Kay was a murderer, but apparently her value judgments were off - especially, it seemed, when she was trying to judge those closest to her. Kay truly being the culprit almost felt like it’d be par for the course.

“She’s a suspect, Scruffy, and, as far as I can tell, you work under Mr. Sebastian Debeste now. Why are you still loafing around?”

Franziska’s hand curled around her whip, but the threat was an empty one. She felt too hollow to lash out.

“A-alright, sir!” He hesitated and she hoped her eyes were harsh enough to get him to keep moving. Apparently they weren’t because Gumshoe kept talking. “I… uh… I wouldn’t worry about Mr. Edgeworth. He’s gotta come back, right? This’ll get solved and he’ll… he’ll pick up his badge again!”

How naive. It was almost enough to get her angry.

Gumshoe chuckled, though a nervousness tinged it. “After all, he’d never work with that Raymond Shields guy as a defense attorney!”

...Defense… attorney….

“GET OUT!” And he scuttled quickly away. Franziska turned her attention back to the empty podium. So her brother truly was leaving her. To go follow in his own father’s footsteps. She tried to muster up a laugh at it all. What she wouldn’t give to have a father worth emulating. What she wouldn’t give to just be able to walk away from her name.

But she’d learned two main things over her nineteen years of life.

She could never walk away. She could never make Miles stay.

...She could never make anyone stay.

[tkmedia]

Will England have failed if they lose to Denmark?

It’s England v Denmark time. And the mailbox is here to ask whether defeat would be seen as failure. Send your mails to theeditor@football365.com Forza Italia Itza coming Rome! Calvino …Cometh the hour, cometh the Mancini. Chris Hardy (sorry, not sorry) …What a game. Was watching thinking England are going to struggle against either of these if we make it to the final. I expect Italy to win now to be honest. So looking forward to thisevening. I really hope we make it to the final. Also to the guy who was talking about co-commentators… I much prefer Jenas to Murphy. I really can’t stand listening to him. James EFC …Credit to Italy for making it to the final. They gave up so much of the ball in the first half but barely gave up chances on goal. I think it was always their intention to let Spain have the hall and I think they had the confidence that they could contain whatever came their way. In some respects they possibly should’ve done better because Spain should be knackered having already played 120 minutes twice in the past week. I actually thought Italy would look much worse without Spinazola and Emerson definitely took away some of their flexibility in terms of what positions he took up when Italy were on the ball but they were still threatening. Chiesa and Barella are stand out players. Unai Simon clearly hadn’t done his homework for the shoot out because he fell for Jorginho’s hop thing. I’ve literally never seen a keeper fall for that and the only explanation is that he didn’t know it was coming. Italy are probably the worst opponent for England to face in the final, should England qualify. Tactically so astute, some wise old heads and some really attacking quality. Minty, LFC Scouting report Just on my way back from the match; we can take ‘em! Come on England! Andrew, Banbury If we lose to Denmark… If we lose to Denmark tonight, would it be seen as a failure? When we went out of the World Cup to Croatia in the semi-finals of the World Cup three years ago we missed a great chance to get to our first final since 1966 but it wasn’t viewed as a failure because we had gotten further in the tournament than we were expected to and done better than fans and pundits thought we would. But this time with ‘home advantage’ at Wembley and playing a team we are apparently fancied to beat if we were to lose in a semi-final would it be seen as a failure? Dan Factor, London Fanmail for Andy Andy starts his dismal grunt of an email by claiming he doesn’t want to piss on anyone’s chips. Andy, why lie? The only thing you set out to do was exactly that, I’m not sure why you want to pretend otherwise. However if you genuinely do not want to soak the collective tatties may I suggest you f**k off with your rubbish opinions and keep them to your grim self? Thanks. Jesus, I thought I was a miserable c**t. Well, I know I am. I just didn’t realise that I’m also a ray of sunshine piercing through the grey world of Andy. thayden Fanmail for Paul I read your e-mail regarding the Euros and England. Its true you must be Irish because that e-mail was dripping the colour green. I was going to write some classy comeback but then I thought, why bother. Instead… GO F*** YOURSELF!!! Paul Norris …Paul (Dublin) in the afternoon mailbox is just one of many who has made the claim that England have had the easiest run to the semi-finals. Is this really true? For starters Spain had an easier group – Sweden, Slovakia and Poland is a much easier set of opponents than England had in their group and then had Croatia and Switzerland to dispatch on their way to the semi-finals. Am I going crazy or is that a much easier route to the semi-final? Denmark had a group with one titan but also had Finland and Russia and then faced Wales and Czech Republic in the knockout stages- is that really a tougher set of fixtures than England have had? Italy did have a tough quarter-final but had an easier set of opponents in the group stages and had Austria in the round of 16 while England was facing Germany. Hmm, I wonder which team had a tougher assignment. What am I missing here? Turiyo Damascene (PS: I hate the use of the word ‘easy’ in this context but it’s the only way I can properly engage with the people making this argument), Kigali, Rwanda Easy draw? Really? Mailers are consistently using the ‘easiest draw ever’ argument to quash any shred of optimism around the England team’s route to the semi-finals – but I have to wonder the point of this criticism. In sports like football, once you’ve actually won something people – specifically fans – rarely seem to linger much on how you’ve done it. In this spirit – are any tournament wins generally rated above others due to the quality of opposition faced? In Euro 2016, Portugal surely had an unbelievably easy run until meeting France in the final – with group stage draws against Hungary, Austria and Iceland, then knockout games against Croatia, Poland and Wales. All teams that, on paper, they should have beaten easily – and only scraped by in the majority. Not sure if they care. The ‘easiest draw ever’ argument is proactively critical of England in case they do win the Euros. It seems based on the expectation that people will assume that a team that wins a tournament is the best team at that tournament. This is of course not always the case. From my perspective football is as much a celebration of luck as it is of prowess – about narrative and emotion rather than a process to find out the objectively best team in the tournament. CR7 would probably punch me in the head for saying this but maybe winning isn’t necessarily about being the best. Portugal could barely beat a team in Euro 2016 and would unlikely be considered a particularly good side from that era. Wigan wasn’t the best team in England because of their FA Cup win – playing Bournemouth/Macclesfield/Huddersfield/Everton and Millwall on the way to the final. These wins are more about things going right at the right moments – quality and fortune in the right measure. Celebration of victory isn’t necessarily celebration of dominance/prowess – it’s just about being happy to be there at the end with a nice shiny bit of metal to take home with you. Basically, if England lose to Denmark these criticisms don’t matter – because they lost anyway – if they win the tournament then who cares – because they’ve won. I don’t know if I’d prefer England to win by steamrollering the seven top-ranked teams in the tournament 5-0 each (I definitely would) – but there’s something about that which seems a bit joyless.

I don’t consume a massive array of media but the sense I get is that not much of the optimism around England’s performance in this tournament is based on them being objectively the best team in Europe. Hoping you can win a tournament and liking a team isn’t necessarily the same as thinking you’re better than everyone else. I get how pretty harmless things like the emotion around winning a football match can be used/exploited by more nefarious forces – and would cringe at the prospect of a gloating British establishment on the off chance that England does go all the way. But it seems pretty innocuous at this point. (Anon) Just chill out F365 weirdos Wow some of the recent mailboxes have been strange. From being torn about wanting England to win in case Boris does something annoying, to the group of people complaining about English arrogance, it’s all very weird. Aside from the fact that people are just having a laugh as our team is performing vaguely well for once, have these people considered that the fans chanting might not actually think it’s necessarily coming home, but they actually just enjoy singing the song? Nobody was complaining at fans claiming Will Grigg was on fire and I’m pretty sure about 20 different clubs sing ‘we’re by far the greatest team the world has ever seen’. Just chill out and enjoy the scintillating show of attacking football England are providing us all… Louis (I thought football was meant to be fun?) A message from Germany My name is Nik and I am writing to you all to say, just enjoy it. The negativity, as well as the positivity have both been brought to the fore, but it is now time to just enjoy yourselves. A semi-final of a European Championship or a World Cup does not come around too often. Take it from a German who before 2018 and 2021 thought a semi-final was more of a formality, it is not. I am already looking forward to our next (whenever that may be). Southgate, the Players, the media, everyone just needs to enjoy this game. Win or lose. No one is to blame for failure. Everyone to laude for success. Enjoy it. Us Germans have not been able to enjoy one for five years. Nik (Hansi Flick is going to win in Qatar though isn’t he? won everything else…), Munich Spotting the w**kers You know that action film you really like, that one someone told you was crap and not as good as the 1970s black and white French masterpiece they liked? You know that album you said you like but someone insisted you were an idiot because it wasn’t as good as their first one when only they liked them? You know when you thought that someone was a wanker? They are the same people who are trying to argue that England aren’t any good and cant be enjoyed because they aren’t 1970s Brazil. And you were right, they were a wanker then and they still are now and you can enjoy this England, this manager and this team as you please. Sykes Read the full article