#we can pretend that wouldn’t have any ramifications tho :)

[thefirstpaleontologist]

new au 🦌

[masterthespianduchovny]

Something that has always bothered me, why didn’t Mulder and Scully talk about their shared abduction experiences???

How they felt like life moved on without them, that they can’t remember much, being violated, not knowing where they fit in, the nightmares, the paranoia, the powerlessness.

Mulder gets to know about Scully’s experience in a way he never would’ve before nor would he have understood at the time. And Scully could’ve been this support for Mulder. He wouldn’t have felt alone.

I can imagine them talking into the night. Scully holding Mulder in her arms or staying up with him, and then falling asleep on accident.

Mulder apologizing if he was ever insensitive to her experience and Scully telling him not to worry about it, but Mulder’s like, “no, i have you, so I never have to go through this alone. but, you didn’t have anyone for years. I can’t imagine how alone you felt.”

Scully cups his face, “even though you didn’t always understand, I had you, I always had you.”

Scully tells Mulder about her coping techniques and Mulder shares with her the new things he’s learned.

God, we could’ve had that.

Instead we got two people who pretended as if they didn’t have this shared trauma in common. As if Scully wasn’t abducted and wasn’t still dealing with the ramifications of that INCLUDING her miracle pregnancy. And Mulder doesn’t seem aware that Scully has this experience even tho he was there.

Like, how does this not come up when Mulder returned.

How do we not get intimate moments of the conversing about their experience.

Mulder, “did everything taste different to you when you returned.”

Scully nods. “Yeah, it took a while to get my sense of taste back. Everything tasted off. When it finally returned, I don’t know...I guess my relationship with food had changed.

“Before I was...taken, I’d started stress eating. I never expected things to get intense, especially as quickly as they had. Suddenly, there were informants, coverups, and that’s not including the paranormal cases. Food was something I found support in. Then, deep throat was murdered and my eating spiraled. I don’t know if you noticed or just didn’t say anything.”

Mulder’s smiles. “I noticed. I sensed how stressed you were. I guess I was happy you stayed and didn’t decide to leave like anyone else would have.”

Looking down, Scully chuckles. “You know, Mulder, leaving never occurred to me. During the entire first year of our partnership, I never considered it. It wasn’t an option for me. I told you that I joined the fbi to make a difference and, after our first case together, I felt the x files was where I could do that.”

“And after our first year...”

Scully shakes her head. “Not even then. I mean, superficially, yes. But, it wasn’t a real thought, you know? My mom, my brother, just everyone kept asking me to transfer or leave altogether, but it became personal for me by then.

“If kersh allowed you to come back, would you?”

For a moment, Mulder considers her words. “No.” Scully is surprised by his answer. “If I had been taken instead of you back then or if this had happened years ago, it wouldn’t even be a question about my return.

“But, I think after we took down the consortium, I was afraid to want more—I thought I didn’t deserve it. I still enjoyed investigating the x files with you, but I was afraid that if that wasn’t uniting us then we’d go our separate ways. I wanted to keep you in my life as long as you’d have me. Then, we got together, I found out the truth about Samantha, and now...” he rubs her stomach. “We’re going to have a little one together. Although I’ve always been committed to the x files, after a while, it became a crutch. I have everything I want and more, I don’t need the x files to be fulfilled. I guess getting out of the car isn’t so bad after all.”

Scully is overwhelmed. “You know, you could always consult for the bureau.”

“I know. I’ve considered it.”

“And even teach if you’re open to it,” she suggests, eyeing him. “You have a remarkable mind, Mulder, and any future agents would be lucky to have you as their instructor.”

“Did you run a long game on me, Scully?”

Scully quirks an eyebrow.

“You were trying to get me to work at Quantico with you when we were split up the first time.”

Scully slaps her forehead. “Oh my god. I remember that. That feels like forever ago, Mulder. Despite our differences, I enjoyed you and I felt that that would end if you left the bureau. I figured that if you liked working with me as much as I did with you, I could get you to stay that way.”

Mulder laughs. “Even if I left back then, I would’ve never stayed away from you, Scully.”

“It gets better,” she says. “The nightmares subside eventually. You stop feeling alien. And, if you have a good partner, you don’t feel alone anymore.”

Scully grabs Mulder’s hand and their fingers interlace.

Mulder kisses the back of her hand. “I’m not alone.”

🥺

@baronessblixen