#we both went our own way and pretended it didn’t happen

[theunsinkableship1]

Things are not always what they seem...

⚠️Disclaimer: This is Lukolaland only. If you don't believe you should skip. No harm intended and no hard feelings. Only strong feelings here.

Dear Lukola Shippers,

I hope this message finds you well, no matter where in the world you are. Though I’ve been mostly quiet recently, I want you to know I’m still firmly aboard this ship, and the waters have felt calmer of late. We are witnessing great waves of success coming to our Lukola. Watching them thrive individually and achieve such success is a joy, it’s wonderful to see them striving and thriving in their unique journeys.

Today, I’d like to open up about something personal. It’s a topic that requires sensitivity but resonates deeply with what we often discuss as a community. Appearances can be deceiving.

Humans are complex beings, and we can never be entirely certain of what’s happening behind closed doors. Even when all signs seem to point in one direction, the reality could be something entirely different.

When I was younger, I was in relationships that seemed one way from the outside but were very different beneath the surface. Back then, I was seen as someone confident and put-together a "popular girl," if you will. But inside, I felt like a wallflower. People were drawn to the version of me they saw, not the person I truly was.

In one relationship, I fell deeply in love. To the outside world, we looked like the perfect couple. But the reality was far from that. I was shy and cautious, but I fell for one of the hit boys. I was deeply in love, but he wasn’t. I became more of a mix between a prop and a seat filler in his life. While I was publicly acknowledged, I wasn’t truly valued in his heart. Being young and in love, I sometimes acted jealous and irrationally, making poor decisions in my attempt to hold on to the relationship. While I gave my all, I never was someone that he truly cherished. I was young and blinded by my feelings, so I clung tightly to the relationship, convincing myself and others that everything was fine. Looking back, I realize that what people saw from the outside, the smiles, the handholding, was a façade for a connection that didn’t exist in his heart. His attention was always somewhere else.

Later, I entered another relationship. I was tired of being alone. All my friends were in relationships, and I found myself longing for one too. This time, it was with someone I became very close to through mutual friends. Though we had a strong bond, we quickly realized we weren’t a romantic match. Yet, for two years, we stayed in a "relationship" because it worked for both of us at that time, he was coming to terms with his own identity, and I was healing and waiting for the right person. To the outside world, we were a couple. We even lived together and shared milestones. But in reality, we were best friends who blurred the lines of companionship. Only our close friends knew the truth: to the outside world, we appeared to be a couple, but in reality, we were just best friends. Sometimes, things can get messy, and lines blur. While I was in this pretend relationship, someone from my past reentered my life, wanting to marry me. Things moved quickly, and even though my friend knew our arrangement was temporary and understood the situation, there might have been some emotional complexity. Perhaps I was ready to move on before he was, or maybe it was because we were emotionally intertwined in many ways. Societal perceptions could have played a role as well. I’m still not entirely sure. After my wedding, we went our separate ways. Though we remain on friendly terms, we are no longer close, and I haven’t heard from him in years.

Life is full of such complexities. For example, I have a chronic hormonal condition that, at times, makes me appear pregnant when I’m not. Years ago, this led to assumptions and speculation, especially early in my marriage. People congratulated me on pregnancies that didn’t exist, which was deeply painful as I faced uncertainty about whether I could have children. It taught me how much appearances can mislead even well-meaning people.

So, why share all this? Because as fans, it’s easy to speculate about the lives of people we admire. But the truth is, only they know what’s happening behind closed doors. I’ve noticed many people dismiss or deny the bond between them, but I believe we can’t be doubtful of its existence. I’m confident they are also aware of what they share. What we’re speculating about is what’s truly happening behind the scenes and why things are unfolding the way they are.

It all comes down to perception and observation. There’s something peculiar about this situation, too many coincidences for certain things to be purely incidental. Patterns emerge that can be explained rationally, and those who pay close attention recognize the mixed messages that make a straightforward narrative unlikely. Occam’s razor doesn’t apply neatly here.

Moreover, we have public evidence, not just imagined scenarios, that suggests there’s been something deeper between them at some point. The idea that 'there’s nothing more' doesn’t hold water because, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Appearances, whether on red carpets, social media, or interviews can only tell part of the story. And while our love for Luke and Nicola is real and rooted in admiration for their talent and chemistry, we must tread lightly.

I adore Luke’s subtle and nuanced acting and his incredible singing voice, which has a charm that captivates. Nicola’s range as an actress is extraordinary, and her vibrant personality shines through in everything she does. I support them both as individuals and as a couple because they make me believe in their connection.

I remain here because I believe in the love they seem to share, whether it’s in a glance, a gesture, or an unspoken understanding. Until the day there’s unequivocal proof otherwise, I’ll keep believing because they make me feel the love.

With love and hope,

The unsinkable ship 🚢

[ghost-bxrd]

I’m back! I’m gonna be working a little on catching up on all the stuff and asks I missed. But I’m also actively working on fics again, so, yay? 💚✨

[maxsimagination]

would you write more for kim little please? maybe her dating someone younger on the team and the rest of the girls find out? <3

𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 - 𝙠.𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚

summary: kim is dating a controversially younger teammate and the team finds out

-> kim is 34 and reader is 22

𖦹 masterlist

“𝗞𝗜𝗠, 𝗡𝗢 𝗜 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗔 sleep in. pleaseeee.”

i groaned as kim pulled the curtains to our shared apartment. i wanted to enjoy the last moments with her until we had to go to training and pretend we weren’t dating.

it wasn’t because we didn’t think they’d accept us, it was more because kim was 34 and i was only 22.

the team might not think that was bad, but if they knew then it was only a matter of time before the media knew, and it would blow up indefinitely once they knew. we just weren’t willing to risk it right now.

i ended up being dragged out of bed by kim, the scot managing to haul me to the bathroom. i was half asleep but went through my morning routine like clockwork.

we rocked up at the training fields within the next hour, but kim walked in first. we drove there in the same car but walked in separately so people didn’t suspect anything.

“yn!”

“leah!”

i greeted the blonde when i walked in, levelling her excitement with my own. she jumped onto me in a hug, before slipping back onto the floor.

we walked into the dining hall where the rest of the team and staff were, picking up our designated plates and electing to sit at katie’s table. which also happened to have kim at it.

i, obviously, chose to sit next to kim but thankfully no one picked up on that.

we were allocated an hour to eat breakfast before everyone had to actually start working for the day. all the players filed out to the changing rooms where we changed into our boots, and i slipped my hoodie off while i had the chance.

i caught kim’s gaze as i jogged out to meet leah, throwing a cheeky grin at her expression.

leah was up with katie and cait, talking about god knows what. i joined in, but then jonas cut everyone’s conversations short with his yell for attention.

“girls! let’s get started please. we’re doing a jogging warmup lap, then weights.

find a partner once you’ve finished the lap, use each other for spotting. we don’t need any injuries.”

there was collective murmurs of agreement, and we started jogging around the field. i naturally found myself jogging next to kim, as if a magnet pulled us together.

“gym partners?”

i questioned, she nodded.

we made our way to the weights section of the gym arsenal had.

“we are so doing legs first.”

i all but dragged kim over to the leg press to kickstart our session. kim did not want to do legs, she was into training arms, which was very visible from the bicep muscles that she sported.

one of the many things i drooled over.

i had shoved at least 250lbs onto the leg press machine and watched as kim’s eyes bulge at the amount of plates.

“you’re telling me you can safely lift that?”

“nope. but i’m gonna.”

i ended up doing two reps of fifteen, before upping the weight to 300lbs. kim may have had an aneurysm at the amount of weight i was pushing, and making it look like it was nothing. but she still stood behind me, watching, spotting, and dancing her fingertips over my shoulder blades.

it gave me tingles, and was slightly ticklish. what we didn’t know was that leah was looking from across the room, and she knew that something was up.

when the gym session was over and we started actual drills, leah was quick to pin me as her partner for anything. i thought it was weird but didn’t question it.

when we had a break leah took my hand and walked past kim, beckoning her to follow us. leah walked us away from the groups of girls, so we were out of earshot.

“there’s something going on between you two. spill.”

both of us were quick to sputter out some form of excuse.

“no, what do you mean.”

“don’t know what you’re talking about, lee.”

leah gave us both one of her stares.

“cut the crap. i see the way you look at each other, the little touches. not to mention you both come into practice within minutes of each other, every morning.”

i exchanged a look with kim, there was no point in hiding this from leah. she was like the fbi, she knew everything.

“okay. we’re dating. we have been for a year.”

something settled in leah’s expression, now she knew what was going on.

“i knew it.

kimmy, going for the young ones are we?”

leah poked at kim’s side, grinning at the skipper. there was an eleven year gap between us, hence why we had kept it secret for a while.

“shut it, lee. do we need to tell the whole team?”

“it would make things easier. for you that is. but only if you want.”

i look over at kim. she looks over at me. i shrug, i never had a problem with telling everyone, kim was the logic one who knew the ins and outs of the media.

“fuck it why not. they’ll figure out eventually.”

“we don’t have to say anything, we can just walk out there and start acting like a couple. see how long it takes them.”

i throw out the idea with a grin. why not have a little fun with it.

we end up agreeing on my idea. training still had a couple of hours left and jonas gave us a few more drills to do, so me and kim forgot all about keeping the secret and just had fun training with each other for once.

surprisingly, none of the girls, not even the staff, said anything. not even kyra or alessia, of all people.

you’d think that the two most gossipy youngsters on the team would say something. but by the end of training, no one was any wiser. so leah told them all.

kyra let out a very loud, ‘oh my god!’ which caught the attention of alessia, who told lotte, so on and so on. soon the whole team knew and it was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders.

“kimmy, i didn’t know you were into the young ones.”

katie’s irish accent was unmistakable as she caught up with us to poke fun at the skipper. cait walked alongside me, she didn’t tease neither me nor kim, simply said she was happy for us.

you could tell she was true with her words, she was in a very similar situation, when her and katie first got together.

“a proper cougar then, our skipper.”

lotte and alessia laughed as they walked past.

it was funny, all the jokes they threw around, but most of all i was happy that they accepted us.

[solxamber]

Date(?) Night- Rook Hunt x reader

Rook is convinced that you have feelings for him after your "date". You have no idea what he's talking about, considering you never went on a date

You’re minding your own business in the tranquil courtyard, taking in the morning sun, when suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a familiar figure approaching—Rook Hunt. His feathered hat tips with the breeze, his eyes twinkling with mischief. You've come to learn that when Rook has that look in his eyes, it means he’s up to something. Something involving you, most likely.

"Ah, ma chérie, the morning sun pales in comparison to your beauty today!" Rook announces as he strides over, his voice dripping with theatrical flair.

You sigh but can’t help a small smile creeping up your lips. “Rook, it’s too early for this.”

“Non, non!” He gasps dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest as if wounded. “It is never too early to admire the exquisite masterpiece that is before me.”

It’s his usual routine, something you’ve gotten used to over time, though it never ceases to catch you off guard when he throws in a new metaphor or an unexpected compliment. Today, however, there’s an extra glint of mischief in his eye, and you know he’s building up to something.

“And yet,” he says, his tone dropping as he leans a bit closer, “how can you sit here and pretend that last night was nothing?”

Your brows knit together in confusion. “What are you talking about, Rook?”

“Ah! You play coy!” He grins, crossing his arms, clearly delighting in your perplexed expression. “How can you tell me you don’t have feelings for me when we went for a long, romantic walk together last night?”

You blink at him, stunned. “Wait…what?”

“Oui, oui!” he nods enthusiastically, his smile wide and radiant. “The moonlit path, the rustling leaves, the gentle wind carrying the scent of flowers… Surely, you remember our intimate stroll under the stars.”

“We never went for a walk together, I walked home alone last night” you say slowly, trying to decipher whatever strange game he’s playing at.

“Ah, but we did,” Rook insists, eyes sparkling like he’s revealing the grandest secret. “I was there too! Behind the the trees. How could you not notice me?!”

You gape at him, mouth slightly open. He says it so casually, so cheerfully, as if his behavior was completely normal. And of course, with Rook, it kind of is.

“You were... hiding?” you ask, half-laughing in disbelief. “Stalking me from the trees?”

“Stalking?” He looks scandalized, shaking his head dramatically. “Non, non, non! I was merely observing! Like a hunter admires the grace of a deer as it glides through the forest. Every movement, every glance—it was all so enchanting! How could I resist?”

“Rook,” you say, rubbing your temples, “you can’t just follow people from the shadows and call it a romantic walk. That’s not how this works.”

“But of course it is!” He steps closer, eyes gleaming with intensity. “I was there, every step of the way. Witnessing your grace, your every thought etched upon your face as you gazed at the stars. How could that not be a shared moment?”

You let out a disbelieving laugh, crossing your arms. “A shared moment usually involves, you know, both people being aware that it’s happening.”

Rook simply smiles, unfazed. “Details, details. The heart understands what the mind does not.”

“I’m pretty sure my mind understands that I was alone,” you reply, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably.

“And yet,” Rook continues, undeterred, “your heart knew I was there. It called out to me through the night. Even in your solitude, you must have felt my presence, my devotion.”

You shake your head, though you’re smiling now. "I didn’t feel anything, except maybe the wind. Are you sure it wasn’t just your imagination?"

Rook places a hand over his heart, his voice taking on a more somber tone. "Ah, mon trésor, do not wound me so. My feelings are as real as the stars we gazed upon—albeit, from different vantage points."

You can't help but laugh at his earnestness. Only Rook could make something so absurd sound so heartfelt. He’s watching you now, eyes still twinkling, clearly waiting for you to respond in kind.

“All right,” you say, crossing your arms, “so let me get this straight—you think I have feelings for you because you stalked me during a walk I took by myself?”

Rook gasps again, this time more softly. “Mon amour, you wound me with such harsh terms. I was merely accompanying you, albeit from a respectable distance. It’s not my fault you didn’t notice the hunter in the shadows.”

“Uh-huh,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “So, what now? Are you going to follow me on all my walks and claim we're having romantic dates?”

“Only if you wish,” he says brightly, as though it were a reasonable offer.

You blink at him, taken aback. “Wait… you’re serious?”

“Why not?” Rook grins, stepping closer, his presence almost overwhelming as he peers down at you. “But! If it would please you more to be aware of my presence—”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” you interrupt, chuckling. “How about you actually ask me on a date next time instead of lurking in the trees like some kind of... I don’t know, cryptid?”

Rook’s face lights up with a dazzling smile. “Ah! A formal invitation, then! Très bien, ma douce! Consider this my official request—will you grace me with your presence on a proper date, where we both walk together, side by side, beneath the moonlight?”

His eyes are so full of sincerity that it takes you a moment to respond. You weren’t expecting this to go anywhere serious, but Rook has a way of making the ridiculous seem… oddly romantic.

“Fine,” you say, smirking as you hold out your hand. “But only if you promise not to hide behind trees this time.”

Rook beams, clasping your hand in his and bringing it to his lips with a soft, gallant kiss. “You have my word, mon trésor. From this moment on, I shall walk beside you, in full view, where you can witness my admiration in all its glory.”

You can’t help but laugh, but there’s a warmth spreading in your chest as he continues to hold your hand, his gaze never leaving yours. For all his theatrics, Rook’s affection is genuine. He’s not just playing a part—he truly does admire you, even if his methods are a little… unconventional.

“Okay, then,” you say, squeezing his hand before letting go. “Tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night,” he repeats, his voice soft but full of excitement.

You shake your head, unable to wipe the smile off your face as you turn to leave. But before you take more than a few steps, Rook calls out to you.

“Ah, but wait! One more thing!”

You stop, turning back to him with a curious look. “What now?”

Rook places a hand over his heart, bowing slightly as he gazes up at you with that intense, adoring expression of his. “How shall I dress for our moonlit rendezvous? Shall I wear the colors of the night, to blend in with the shadows, or shall I shine like the stars themselves, to match the radiance of your beauty?”

You roll your eyes but can't help the chuckle that escapes. “Just… wear something comfortable. We’re going for a walk, not a runway show.”

Rook gasps as though you’ve said something scandalous. “Comfortable? Ah, ma chère, there is no such thing as comfort when in the presence of such beauty. I must be at my most elegant, my most refined, my—”

“Rook,” you interrupt, laughing. “Just wear something normal, okay?”

He grins, eyes glinting with amusement. “As you wish, mon trésor. I shall endeavor to be ‘normal’ for you.”

With a shake of your head, you turn to walk away, this time managing to get a little further. But even as you leave him behind, you can still hear the faint sound of his voice, calling after you one last time.

“Tomorrow night, my dear! And this time, I promise—I’ll be right beside you!”

Masterlist

[wagconts]

𝐒econd 𝐂hance | Charles Leclerc

summary :: where you and Charles come to an agreement to get back together

word count :: 1.014 words

It was just another night in São Paulo, after the GP, and the whole crew was hanging out at the hotel bar to wrap up the weekend. Laughter and the clinking of glasses filled the room, and you were trying to blend in, avoiding any glances that might lead you to Charles Leclerc. Not that it was easy, of course. Ever since you guys broke up, working side by side with him had been tough. There were still feelings hanging in the air, unresolved, and the night’s celebration just made it even more obvious.

Before you knew it, he was next to you, with that familiar laid-back smile and a glint in his eyes that you knew all too well.

— Thought you were avoiding me — he teased, his voice low and a little rough.

— Of course not — you laughed, trying to play it cool. — We’re all here to celebrate.

He chuckled but stepped in a little closer, and the scent of his cologne mixed with the party sounds brought back memories that felt way too recent. Then he started talking.

— Funny, isn’t it? — he looked at you. — Us here, acting like nothing ever happened.

You tried to brush it off.

— Charles, how many drinks have you had? — you murmured, trying to keep it light.

But he didn’t stop, a bit more serious now.

— Maybe four or five. Or maybe eight, who’s counting? But honestly, I’m tired of pretending everything’s fine. — He laughed, but his smile had a bit of an edge. — Because it’s not, and you know that.

That caught you off guard, and before you could even think of what to say, he gave a slight shake of his head and threw you a wink before walking off, leaving you there, processing what you’d just heard. The party went on, but your mind was far off, wondering if it was the alcohol or his heart doing the talking.

The next week kicked off with race mode again, this time in Vegas. You were doing your best to stay focused on work, but Charles’s words from the last party kept creeping into your mind. And, of course, he seemed to know exactly where to find you.

— Can we talk? — he asked, popping up beside you in a quieter moment in the paddock.

You took a deep breath; you knew he wanted to clear things up, maybe get an answer you weren’t even sure you could give.

— This is about the party… — he started to say more, but you cut him off.

— You were drunk; I get it.

— What? No, no! — he shook his head. — I remember exactly what I said, or at least enough. I didn’t plan on saying anything then, but I’ve been holding this in for too long.

You stayed silent, surprised by how honest he was being. You were so used to the smooth, playful Charles that his sincerity threw you off a bit.

— I… I didn’t want us to end like that — he admitted. — I know you thought it was for the best too, but I never fully moved on.

— Charles… — you started. — We tried. And with our jobs, the travel, everything… it just didn’t work.

He nodded, but his eyes never left yours.

— Maybe I didn’t try hard enough, or maybe you were right. But that doesn’t mean my feelings for you changed. It wasn’t a lie then, and it’s not now.

You fell silent, feeling the weight of his words. He seemed more determined than ever.

— Charles, you know how hard it is to keep this up — you murmured, unsure of your own words. — We’ve been through this before…

He let out a small laugh, but there was a seriousness in his eyes you weren’t used to seeing.

— I know. But honestly, I don’t want to just give up without a fight. I want to try again, even if it’s hard.

His sincerity was almost tangible, and you realized that, despite the fear, you wanted this as much as he did.

Charles had his way; he knew both of you had your methods and tried to hold on as much as possible. A small silence hung in the air until you finally settled your own thoughts.

— Okay… let’s give it a shot.

That night, you went out together, taking it easy. Dinner was relaxed, a mix of laughter and little confessions about what each of you had felt while apart. Charles, always the charmer, had you laughing with stories from the track, but there were quiet moments too, where your hands found each other on the table, like just the touch was enough.

— You know, I’ve never told you this… — he started, somewhere between glasses of wine, looking at you as if he wanted to memorize every little detail. — But the first time you came to work here, I thought you were just another new hire. Until I realized I was thinking about you more than anything else.

You laughed, surprised by the confession.

— And you never thought of telling me?

He shrugged, a shy smile.

— I thought you’d never take me seriously. Me, with this crazy life as a driver… I didn’t even take myself seriously.

You both laughed, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his gaze, something you didn’t see often.

At the end of dinner, he walked you back to the hotel. As you walked down the hall to your room, Charles stopped and held your hand, pulling you closer.

— So… are we really giving this another shot? — he asked, his smile soft but his eyes holding an intensity that made your heart race.

— Yeah, I think we are, Charles. — You smiled, feeling a mix of relief and excitement.

He leaned in to kiss you, a soft touch, but full of promises for what was yet to come. It was like all the fears and doubts melted away right there, and in that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you.

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - part 14.1

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 3.5k | previous part | masterlist

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: okay babes I’m desperate to get this out bc this part is going to be so fucking long I had to break it up into parts

“Rhys, stop!”

Feyre’s shriek of annoyance draws your attention to the front, your eyes watching Feyre chastise Rhysand for driving almost 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. You and Azriel were in the backseat of Rhys’s car (“It’s a Tesla,” Rhys would correct), Feyre in the front seat making several comments about the way Rhys drives as if he is attempting to murder all of you.

Mor and Cassian drove separately in Cassian’s truck - you and Azriel snickered at their less than covert attempts to be alone in the apartment. The six of you had been about to hit the road when Cassian had ‘forgotten his driving sunglasses’ and Mor had immediately offered to help. Rhys had rolled his eyes, telling Cassian the four of you were going to head off instead of waiting for them.

Rhys’s lake house was about an hour and a half away, so you and Azriel had spent that time in the back mindlessly chatting, showing each other silly videos of mostly cats. Feyre sat in the passenger seat, deeming herself in charge of the music, the three of you not caring what she put on.

Whenever Rhys and Feyre were too preoccupied in their own conversation to notice the two of you, you would slip your hand into one of Azriel’s, playing with his fingers or just squeezing lightly before pulling away.

“When do we think Cassian will show up?” You ask, making eye contact with Rhys in the rearview mirror. He scoffs, turning his eyes back to the road, “no telling. He’ll get hungry eventually, so he’ll probably show up around dinner.”

The six of you met up around two, you and Azriel almost arriving late because of your lunch date taking too long. Neither of you wanted to pretend there wasn’t something between you two, but both of you wanted to wait a bit before telling everyone, causing the two of you to linger in the parking lot for far too long, neither of you wanting to keep up the charade.

The impending deadline didn’t stop him from kissing you as if he were going off to war in the parking lot of the cafe you two went to, though. You could still taste the coffee he had on your tongue.

Feyre sighed, looking out the window, “maybe I shouldn’t have put my bag in his truck.”

You laughed, partly at her melodramatics, partly at how foolish she was to leave her bag in Cassian’s truck, “I don’t think you’re seeing that bag for a while, Fey.”

She turns her head to look at you, a scowl on her face, “you make it sound like this is my fault.”

“Well, we did put Cassian and Mor in a car together, so maybe the group is at fault. Just be thankful they didn’t pull over and have sex on top of your bag.”

Her scowl deepened, a look of disgust on her features, “my poor bag would never be the same. I would never be the same.”

“You’d have Cassian butt sweat on it.”

“Ewww, stop.”

“Or worse, his butt hair.”

You laugh as Feyre whips her head to scowl at Rhys, “and how do you know about his hairy butt?”

“Cassian spent our teenage years with a new approach to life - he was determined to be naked at any and every opportunity.” You giggle at Azriel’s words, his ears reddening a bit at the attention you were giving him.

“My mother considered kicking him out because he kept walking around naked and standing in the windows.”

You and Feyre giggled at the image, but Rhys continued. “Our neighbors kept calling and complaining. I’m actually not sure how she got him to stop.”

“She probably bribed him. It’s the only way with him.” You quirk an eyebrow at Azriel before he continues, “nothing ever got to him as a kid - yelling, getting in trouble, praising him. But bribery always worked on him.”

You turn to Azriel, pointing your head in the direction of the front seat, “what was Rhys like as a kid.”

Az huffs, “same as now. Spoiled and annoying.”

Rhys glares at him through the rearview mirror, but Az continues. “He was a bit pompous, always talking about how rich his family was.”

You watch Az try to keep from smiling as Feyre laughs, before reaching a hand out to pinch Rhys’s cheek. The movement pings something in your mind, telling you to ask about it later.

“I did not.”

“You once came to school in a helicopter.”

Rhys sinks a bit in his seat, but you file this whole conversation away in a folder of your brain titled ‘ask again later’. You had a vague sense of things you had picked up over time - Rhys’ parents were technically married, but his dad would travel a lot. Rhys’ mother and sister died at some point. Somehow Azriel and Cassian came into the picture.

It was a bit fuzzy, and you never found out why Cassian lived on his own away from Rhys and Az. You had little pieces, but you needed some way to connect the. You filed it away, just allowing yourself to enjoy the car ride.

The ride eventually reached a lull where the two of you sat in the backseat texting each other while Feyre and Rhys talked mindlessly about goats, maybe. You really weren’t sure what was going on up there.

Azriel: did you know all the guys in this town are riddled with disease

Azriel: so you shouldn’t get anywhere near them

Azriel: just to be safe

You: I like disease-riddled men

Azriel: is now a good time to tell you I had chicken pox as a kid

You: oh really?

You: Mmm itchy men

Azriel: I regret this

You: do you have any scars from it?

Azriel: that’s classified

You: I’ll just have to go around searching for them from other men

Azriel: wait no

Azriel: no no no no no

Azriel: this is a joke right

His eyes snap up to you after you refuse to respond to him, and you have to stifle a giggle at the way he’s looking at you.

You: I’m a changed woman. I prefer disease free men now

Azriel: thank god you’ll stay away from Cassian now

You look up at him with wide eyes before you type back furiously.

You: Azriel we share an apartment what do you mean

You: I let him drink my coffee the other day

You: Azzy please tell me you’re joking

You huff as each of your texts is met back with the three dots indicating he was typing. You looked over at him to find him typing random letters before backspacing to allow the dots to stay up.

You: meanie head

Azriel: you’re the one who said you preferred disease riddled men

You: they wouldn’t treat me like this

You: I would be a queen to them

You: me and my disease riddled king

Azriel: that implies you are their diseased queen

The two of you continue trying to stifle giggles as Rhys drives, Az’s hand moving to squeeze your thigh. You’re so distracted by texting him and his hand on your thigh you don’t notice where you are until the car is pulling into a neighborhood of massive houses that could likely fit multiple families with room to spare. You sit up straighter, looking out the window at these multi-dollar houses and wonder if this was a vacation home, what did Rhys’ house look like growing up?

You knew Rhys’s dad’s lake house was going to be a ridiculously large house. You knew that before, you knew that as the car drove through the neighborhood, but pulling up into the driveway it was as if you had completely forgotten. The house was massive - it had to be at least three floors above ground, and the property it was on was large too.

Rhys’ car slows across the long driveway, no other cars around. You have to strain your neck to look at the house in its entirety - it was beautiful - three or four floors, large windows showing off spacious areas on the second and third floors. It was a mix of the classic lakehouse look, but with slightly modern twists to it. All you could think about while looking at it was how long it would take to clean it. Most of your squabbles with Cassian were over whose turn it was to do dishes, and you knew this place would really test your friendship with him if you lived here.

Or maybe he’d just be able to better hide his messes in this house.

“How long would this take to clean?”

Your voice comes out a bit squeaky before you clear your throat, looking over at Az.

“You think Rhys’s dad does his own cleaning?”

Rhys parks his car in the garage, the four of you getting out. Rhys opens the trunk, and you reach out to grab your bags but Azriel beats you to it, slinging your duffle bag over his shoulder. He crinkles his nose at your pout, sticking his tongue out as he walks into the house. You follow after him, taking in how nice his back looked through his shirt.

Azriel heads to the stairs, taking Feyre to her room, but you fall back to take in the living room. You could host a house party in this living room and fit a hundred people easily. You siddle next to Rhys, watching him play with the lid of his coffee in one hand, his phone lit up in the other.

“Are you worried at all about your dad showing up?”

Rhys sips his coffee before answering, “I’d be more shocked than anyone if he showed up here. Az, Cass, and I once spent an entire summer camped out here. Didn’t even catch a glimpse of him.” He shrugs, his face looking indifferent as his phone screen displays the ‘find my friends’ app, and he looks quizzically at the screen, trying to figure out where Cassian was, you presume.

He blows out a breath, “I’m gonna call him.”

You walk away, opting to look at the photos that decorated the walls. The living room is covered in them, all shapes and sizes of frames littered the yellow wall. You see photos of younger versions of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys, photos from when they were about ten or so until pretty recently, if you had to guess. You can watch them grow, the three of them looking so unsure of themselves at various stages.

The young photos of Azriel are littered with an air of sadness to them, his eyes not quite as bright as they are now, bandages still lingering on his hands for a long time. Azriel’s the smallest in what you think is the first photo, not much more than skin and bones, his now tan skin had a sickly pale hue to it. A woman and a young girl are in the photos with them, the five of them all looking remarkably similar - it’d be very easy to convince others that the two boys were Rhys’s brothers. The photos are all tan skin, dark curls limp in some photos from the ocean water. They are scattered across the wall, no chronological order to them, but if you lined them up you could watch the three of them grow.

The photos made you feel a well of emotion - how someone could be so cruel to someone so small, so defenseless. But as the photos continued and Azriel blended in more with this family, it made you feel so proud of him for opening himself up like that, when all he knew was pain.

He hadn’t told you the extent of his childhood - just that his family was awful, he hadn't seen or spoken to them in a decade, and his step brothers burned his hands. But the pictures of this small, helpless boy looking so lost at the lake spoke volumes for him.

Rhys put the phone down from his ear as he hung up. “They’ll meet us at the restaurant for dinner. He muttered something about a pit stop before hanging up on me.”

He gazes at the photos as he stands next to you, his eyes landing on the one you’ve been staring at. It involved a very young Azriel, fresh bandages adorning his hands. The striking woman was holding him so delicately, as if her arms squeezed him too hard he’d burst in her hold.

“That’s my mom.”

His voice catches you off guard, not expecting much of anything from him. He points at the photo, his finger tapping slightly on the glass.

“She’s beautiful.”

He hums in agreement, “she loved Az. She fought so hard for him. First person to fight for him, really. Spent a shit ton of money getting custody of him.”

That surprises you, but you leave it there for now, keeping your eyes on her smiling face. His gaze lingers on her soft smile, “she loved all of us, but boy did she love Az.”

You watch his mind go somewhere, not wanting to intrude, about to step away when he speaks up again. “That’s my sister. Kaylah.”

His finger moves to a photo nearby, landing on the young girl that Cassian had hoisted on his shoulders.

“She’s cute.”

“She loved bothering Cassian. The two of them butted heads more than any of us combined.” His voice was full of love and nostalgia. “She once got so mad at him she pulled her shoe off and threw it at his head. He was so chuffed he didn’t notice her throw the other, both of them hitting his eyes. He had a black eye for weeks.”

You laugh, “oh my gods, what happened?”

“What happened?” He turned to you, a wide grin on his face, “we got kicked out of the restaurant we were in, and she had the audacity to ask for her shoes back because they landed at another table.” He laughs, a twinkle in his eye you had never seen before. “Oh, Kaylah was something. She always made us laugh.”

“What happened to her?”

Rhys looks down, the twinkle immediately leaving his eye, “she and my mom were hit by a drunk driver when we started school. We- it was a hard time.”

You look over at him, tentatively moving your arms around his waist and hugging him to you.

“I’m sorry.”

He squeezes you back, his citrusy scent filling your nose. “Me too.”

The two of you gaze at the photos, at a time long gone, standing in silence as if an embrace could change the ending for the subjects of the photos.

The moment’s broken by Feyre’s voice, “what’s going on here?”

You turn your face to look at her, head still against Rhys’s chest, “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. We’re in love. He’s having my baby.”

She gasps overdramatically, clutching her chest as she puts on a ridiculous voice, “oh my stars! The scandal!”

You giggle as Rhys unwraps himself from you, “we were going to tell everyone while we were here, but it’s true. We’re naming the baby Cassian Junior.”

Feyre breaks her resolve, giggling, “how is it Cassian Junior?”

“Cassian’s adopting him, of course.”

Feyre giggles before coming to the wall of photos, looking too. “Wow, you guys were so little!”

You laugh, “yeah now we have proof Cassian wasn’t born with a six pack.”

“A six pack of beer, maybe.”

Azriel’s voice startled you. How a man so large was so adept at sneaking up on you unaware was impressive. He stopped behind you, but you could feel his warmth through your back.

“That would explain a lot,” Rhys mutters, turning away from the photos and sitting onto the couch. He stretched out his long legs, propping them on the ottoman before him. “That drive took a lot out of me.”

“It was two hours,” you scoff, sitting on a nearby chair. Azriel followed you, sitting in the chair next to you.

“Two hours is a long time.”

“Maybe for a baby,” Feyre coos, sitting next to Rhysand, pinching his cheeks. His hands swat at hers, pushing her away with very little effort. The four of you mindlessly chatter away, Feyre telling you all about something one of her sisters recently did, until Rhys’s phone buzzed again, Mor texting him that they were half an hour away.

The four of you jump back into Rhys’ Tesla, and he rolls down the windows as he drives you all to some restaurant called ‘Mama’s’.

“But ‘Mama’s’ what?” You had asked, to which Rhys and Az shrugged.

“Just ‘Mama’s’.”

You had huffed, accepting the nonanswer for the time being. The windows give you a glimpse of the tax brackets you drove through - starting the journey in multi-million dollar homes occupied during the warm months, the landscape quickly changes to lower and middle class homes for the people who live here year round.

Rhys pulls the car into a small restaurant, fitted with outdoor lighting and seating. It was so homey - a dozen or so people stood around outside, playing some variety of games like checkers and cornhole. A couple dozen more sat at tables, eating what smelled to be the most enticing food ever created. Your stomach rumbles at the smell, and Feyre laughs at you before you poke her in the stomach with an elbow.

You spot Cassian leaning against his car, Mor standing next to him on her phone. He stretches his arms out, huffing, “finally, we’ve been waiting for you!”

Rhys promptly pushes him as he walks past, and Mor giggles as he falters a bit and she falls in line with you and Feyre and you gag at her. “You smell like sex.”

She gasps, “no I do not,” before discreetly smelling her shirt.

“No, you don’t. Made you sniff.”

She rolls her eyes, copying your words in an exaggerated voice.

The six of you find a table, and you’re seated in the middle of the booth with Feyre and Rhys next to you. Azriel sits on the end of the other booth, and you make brief eye contact across the table, sending him a soft smile.

The waitress comes up to your table, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, her black clothes making her eyes pop, her name tag reading ‘Steph’. She looked at all of you, but her eyes stopped on Azriel, her smile growing wider at the sight of him.

“Hi everybody, what can I get you all to drink?”

She takes your drinks orders, rubbing Azriel’s shoulder as she walks away. Cassian laughs at Azriel’s grimace, “I think she likes you, Azzy.”

“Shut up, Cass.”

Azriel looked to you as your friends kept talking, and you offered him a smile back. His face was hard to read, but his eyes looked so sad. You cock your head to the side, trying to figure out what the problem was, but he turned his head away.

Dinner goes by in a blur, the food was delicious, the six of you spent the evening joking around, except for Azriel, who spent most of the meal quiet. The waitress came by to check on you all several times, and her blatant efforts at flirting would have been amusing if it wasn’t completely obvious how uncomfortable it made Azriel. Each time she returned to your table, you would watch him tense up as she approached, her hands always finding their way to his shoulders. On her third stop at your table, she began calling him Muffin.

Rhys paid the check, handing over the receipt to Azriel.

“For you, Muffin.”

Azriel takes it, and from next to him you can see the phone number written beneath the total. His hands crumple it, discarding it before you all made it to the parking lot. He opens your door before heading to the other side of the car after you slide into your seat. You immediately pull out your phone, your texts with Azriel lighting up the backseat.

You: hi Muffin

Azriel: I’m so sorry

You: why? Did you do something?

Azriel: for the waitress?

You: did you do something with the waitress?

You: I did go to the bathroom, maybe you slipped out and made out with her?

You can hear Azriel furiously typing on his phone.

Azriel: no no no no

Azriel: I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t do that. I’m sorry she was hitting on me.

Azriel: I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to tell her I had a girlfriend

You: you have a girlfriend?

You: and you’ve been making out with me?

You: you dog

You peak over at him and his face is a deep red. You want to laugh but you feel a little bad about your teasing once you see his fingers shaking, having to backspace several times over misspelled words.

Azriel: I think so

Azriel: I didn’t mean to imply anything

You: so, you don’t have a girlfriend?

Azriel: I don’t know

Azriel: maybe?

You: do you want one?

You: a girlfriend, that is

Azriel: god yes

Azriel: but it has to be a specific girl

You: anyone in mind?

Azriel: I have my eye on someone

Series taglist: @anotherbook-obsessedhoe @impossibelle @hayrunnwr @just-a-social-casualty-1 @thisisew @brieflyclassymortal @glitterypirateduck @marshmummy @bookishbroadwaybish @azsteris @doriansgf @footyandformula @od-anon @judig92 @luvmoo @marina468 @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @acotarobsessed @maryssong23 @acourtofbatboydreams @herondale-lightworm @azrielover @carnelshephard

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-smut @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke @prythianpages @itsswritten @acotarxreader

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin

Thanks for reading ❣️

[tmwcs]

"Turn Around..."

One shot fic. (Not relating to any of the established series.) This is a bit different from what I normally draft up, kind of like the Robin Hood one shot, which is also a non-yandere fic like this one. Pls enjoy.

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories and drabbles. To show your support, please consider donating into my ko-fi account ♥️

Warnings: Unprotected smut, breakup, lovers reunited, makeup sex, rough sex, a little bit of angst, taken for granted, apologetic make lead, regretful male lead, and drama. "Dont know what you got till it's gone" type vibe. not proofread but figured i'd get this out to keep yall busy until i get the next chapter of TO out 😉

Summary: You and Heeseung had a break up, despite all that has happened, you find out that you weren't the only one hurting.

“Hey.” he stands calmly at the door. You avoid making eye contact, too nervous and shy on what to say. A bit of a ridiculous notion considering you knew the man very well, dated for quite some time in fact, yet the lack of his efforts drove you to the point where you had to kill off the relationship, for our own happiness. The only issue was, that you’re not sure if you’re any happier now than you were when dating him. Nodding, you respond back with a soft “hey…” 

Walking in, his initiative causes you to walk back. He lets himself in and gently shuts the door behind, never breaking his sight away from you. You kept shifting your sight from one area on the floor, to another. He continues to take his steps forward, and you keep taking them back. Soon, he has you pinned against the wall. Palming the wall, one hand off to each side, he traps you in his arms and leans in, wanting to get closer. You dip down and swoop under his arm to get away freely into the open space, walking over to the living room, much to his grimace dismay. 

Sitting on one end of the couch, you cross your legs and prop your hands up to rest your chin. Intent on avoiding eye contact, you look away and kept your face in the opposite direction. He walks over calmly and sits next to you. 

“Y/n….”

“Heeseung stop. Could you please just get your things and go? I’m not in the mood to talk.” you snap, rubbing your temples as you adjust your body to shift up and away, standing before the tall window, waiting for him to move along and to get out. But he doesn't. 

Looking up from where you were just sitting, he remains on the couch wide eyed and slightly appalled. Sure, he went along with the break up, even dabbled and went on some dates even though you both had just broken up merely two weeks ago. However, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurting either. He only went and saw other girls just to try and take his mind off of you, but how are you supposed to know? He left you no choice, you didn’t ever see your relationship coming to an end. You worked and tried to get through to him, but he never listened, so then you were left with no choice but to break things off, yet you couldn’t help but feel stabbed when his nonchalant attitude and response to your initiation was given, almost too easily, as if he was thinking about breaking up himself. 

Seeing you standing in that silk camisole dress, lazily covered with the matching satin short robe over it, had him feeling some type of way. How long has it been since he saw you like this? No makeup, hair laying freely and barely dressed. You looked so beautiful, stunning in fact, and yet your body language and attitude made you achievable for him to grab hold on. Did he really lose you for good?

“Y/N…” he tries once more, keeping a respectable distance away, so as to not add any fuel to the fire. “Can’t we just talk?”

That did it for you. NOW, he wants to talk? Now? After seeing a handful of girls, pretending like you no longer mattered after you presented him with the words “I’m not sure if this is working out…I wished you would just be more considerate, yet you just always put me off to the side. Maybe we should consider a brea–” 

Remember the tone he had in his voice, he cut you off and finished your sentence, almost as if he was eager and looking forward to the word…as if he was taking your initiation as an opportunity to end everything without having to do the dirty work himself. “Break? Yeah sure, I think that would be good for us.” he told you. Never once trying to figure out the meaning behind your initiative, nor did he ever try to fight for you. But now, it seems he had a change of heart, but you weren’t wanting to hear any of it. Not after having a string of girls by his side the last few nights. What were you? A rebound? Were you just a safety net since it didn’t work out with those girls? What is this? 

Turning away, you snapped in a harsh tone. “No!”

“What?” His voice was a little more firm, and he seemed a bit irritated by your attitude. 

“I said no. I don't want to talk.” 

“Why are you–” he pauses. “Y/n…you act like you’re the only one that is affected by all this. You’re not. I’m struggling too, you know.” 

“Yeah, I can tell. You’re hurting so much, how many girls did you seek out for comfort? Five? We’ve only broken up two weeks ago and you never once wanted to talk, until now.” 

Standing from his seat, he grew offended by your words and replaced his soft and gentle gaze with a more stern and harsh one. Walking over to you, he nearly traps you in as he breaches your personal space and begins to walk you back to the wall, again. 

“What? You think those girls meant something? Seriously?”

“Are you kidding me? Don’t pretend you’re hurting, you nearly jumped for joy when I brought up the idea of taking a break. You think I don’t know? Get over yourself Heeseung!” Turning sharply, you try to get away from him, but his movements are quick and he restricts your fleeing attempts by hugging you from behind. You struggle and try to break free, yet the moment he pushes forward with you grasped in his arms, shoving you up against the wall chest first and his chin resting on your shoulder, burying his face in your neck, you begin to falter, but mentally maintain your resistance. Taming you, he senses your physical strength decreasing front he struggles, and continues to push you in, resting you on the flat surface as he closes the distance between your backside and his chest. Stroking his thumb, he caresses your waist as he hugs tightly. With small brush strokes of his lip, he softly pecks on the soft area of your neckline. 

“Stop…” You whimper out, trying to ignore the beautiful sensation of how his lips felt gently kissing, and sucking on your skin. “Stop…please….get away…”

“You really want me to get away?” he mumbles, with a mouth full of your delicate skin in his mouth. “Then say it. Tell me in all sincerity that you want me to stop and I’ll leave.” 

With your arms pinned to your body by his embrace, you reach up and lean your palms against the wall, pressing your body against his. You tilt your head back, resting it against his shoulder, you didn’t want him to stop, nor did you want him to leave. But you had to be strong, for the sake of mending your broken heart. So, with a shaky breath, you whined out. 

“Get away…” you nearly whispered, your hair draping over your face and your robe coming undone, bearing the nakedness of your shoulders and cleavage. “Just…get away…”

A slight pause was present, before he leans in and resumes his efforts as he takes in a mouthful of your soft skin, just below your ear, this time he was less gentle and more rough in his manners. 

“I said no….” you whimpered. His arms tightened around your arms and waist, and he slightly lifts you before shoving you further up against the wall, pressing your cheek to rest against the surface before whispering in your ear…

“I don't believe you.” 

Shooting his hand around, he lifts the hem of your camisole up and fingers his way through panties. He called you out on your bluff and you didn’t seem to mind, because now you get to show how much you missed him, that you didn’t want to leave. You get to show him that you were hurting, and that he left you without any options or hope to continue forward, that you were just at the lowest part of your life. He knew it too. He wasn’t being his best self with you, in fact he was selfish and led you with so many false promises, it’s no wonder you proposed a break up. It didn’t hit him until you started to usher out those words, but before you could finish, he beat you to the punch, all because he saved himself from the heartbreak of hearing you say it, so he had to say it first. Figuring he would save himself by hurting you, then to be hurt directly, he found that it was all for nothing. Right after walking away and leaving you to go on your own, a sharp pain hits him inside, and he immediately regrets it. He regretted going with the flow, and letting you go so easily. Fact is, he turned around, wanting to run back after you, but seeing your backside facing him, walking in the opposite direction without so much as a glance back over to him, compelled him to look the other way and to move forward, after all, it seemed you had no trouble doing just that. 

Taking your hand, he intertwined his fingers with your own, his kisses became more passionate and his embrace became tighter as his hands roamed. God he missed you. He missed how your body felt against his, and how your skin tasted. He missed how you sounded when he kissed that one little spot on your neck, and how your body shakes when he touches you. He missed you too much. 

“Tell me you don’t want me to leave this time….tell me we belong…tell me…so I can do what I’ve really been wanting to do for the last two weeks…with the one woman I’ve been wanting. Tell me baby…”

Softly sobbing, you whimpered and gasped out, immediately trying to catch your breath as you cried out your words. 

“I never wanted it to end in the first place…” 

Peeling his head back, he stood slightly shocked at your words. Before he could ask questions, you finally let it all out. It was long overdue, and the most painful sense of release you ever felt. 

“Why couldn’t you just have turned around?....I stood…watching you walk away. I mentally begged for you to turn around and come back…but you just kept moving on…you left me crying….and I just had no choice but to finally do the same….you didn’t come back. What was I supposed to do? Stand and wait in that spot forever? And those girls?....I just knew…you didn’t care….” 

Your words hit deep and cut a wound that may never heal. He had no idea that you waited. He did turn back but he was too late…probably by mere seconds. The image he recalls of you walking away, was imagined with you displaying a calm and tranquil look on your face. Now, he understands that you made your way back home in tears that night, and longed for him to come back to you. 

He gulps. In a single brief moment, your entire relationship flashes before his eyes, and he realizes that not only did he not give you his best during, but he didn’t give it to you after. Yeah, he tried to get his mind off you by going on dates, but how were you supposed to know that? He started to think how his behavior must have looked to you…how hurtful it must have been to hear about his rendezvous while you were sitting here longing for him to come back. But what killed him in all of this was that, had he just been less attentive towards his friends and set his priorities straight, none of this would have happened. How many times did he come home and skip eating the dinner you prepared, all because he decided to eat with the guys after work. Or whenever you asked to spend time with him, and he promised you he would have another day, one where he didn’t have plans, yet that day never came. How many times did he wake up, shower, and quickly breezed through the kitchen and sees that you prepared breakfast for him, yet instead of sitting and eating with you, thanking you for taking the time to feed him, he picks bits and pieces off his plate and heads out while jutting out the words “see ya!” and quickly leaves so he could be the first in line at the coffee shop…that coffee shop…the coffee shop you loved yet he never took you with. He knew your favorite order yet never brought you back anything. He was always so focused in grabbing his drink and heading to work, where he could spend nearly the entire day chilling out with the guys doing what they love, spending a great deal of overtime, before finally calling it a night. How many times did he have the opportunity to come back home, especially after seeing all his friends dipping out to go back to their loved ones that were waiting for them…and yet he stayed back, opting to hit up buddies who were single and could spare the time, instead of coming back home to you. How many times did he come back home so late at night, finding you already asleep. How many times did he crawl into bed with you, and instead of hugging you and kissing you, he turns the opposite direction and falls asleep, leaving you to not only feel lonesome during the day when you’re awake, but at night when you’re asleep too. Just how many times…did he take you for granted? 

He didn’t have any words. He felt hurt…he felt a great deal of pain, and it was nothing that you did, you were great…you were perfect in fact. The one that hurt him was himself.

Remaining silent, he leans back into your neck. Shoving his lips against your ear, feeling the shrug of your shoulders as the oversensitive sensation of feeling his lips pressed against you was immense and triggered potent arousal. Whispering, he merely tells you “I’m sorry…” 

His soft whisper made you cry even more. Feeling you shake as you sobbed harder, he holds on tightly and kisses you on that soft spot again…and again….and again. Until your sobs turned into moans. Sucking on your neck, he reaches up and grabs onto your throat, gently but firmly holding on as he pulls your hips back. His free arm hugs your waist and tugs onto you, while his grab around your neck keeps your face and chest close to the wall. Pressing his groin against your derriere, he takes in a large whiff of your scent, that subtly sweet perfume that he liked so much…he missed it. The one thing he grew complacent in taking in daily, yet the moment he thought he lost it forever, he realized it was the most beloved scent produced in this world. The feel of your touch, your skin, hair, and your soft lips, was something he didn’t realize how much he loved. It had been longer than two weeks since he last felt you, growing too comfortable and spending more time away from you throughout the course of your relationship, it had been a while since you both were last intimate. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or cared, he just didn't have his priorities straight. He just always thought that no matter what, you were always going to be around for whenever he needed or wanted you. But when was that? When did he express how much he needed or wanted you? When did he last make you feel appreciated and desired? More importantly, when was the last time he made himself available to you? Knowing that you wanted and needed him, yet he never was there for you. 

“God…I’m such a fucking idiot…” he hums out with a mouthful of your skin sucked in to his mouth. Lifting you once more, he flings you over and softly lands you on the couch, laying atop your backside as you rest on your stomach and chest. “He–Heeseung…”

“Why was I so fucking blind…” his words gasped out in a near whisper, it was gentle and calm, yet the manner of his physical touch was the exact opposite. Nearly ripping off your dress, the straps snap loose as he roughly pulls it down, and tears your panties off. Hanging by the bits of thread and pieces of fabric, it loosely hangs on your thigh while he smooths his hands over the softness of your smooth skin, grabbing onto your cheeks firmly as he squeezes your derriere. 

“Why did I not see what was in front of me?” Leaning forward, he places his lips on your back shoulder, and sucks on various regions. Firmly holding onto your waist, he fishes out his stiff member and rides it in between your cheeks, squeezing it to nestle in between as he strokes it up and down. “How could I not see that I had the best thing that’s ever happened to me?” Taking a hold on the back of your neck, he slowly feeds himself inside your cavity, pressing in. You weren’t entirely ready, and the lack of prepping made it hard for you to take him in, not to mention it had been so long. Yet his eager desire to have you made him impatient, he needed you now…he wanted you…he wanted to please himself but also, to please his queen. 

“Why did I not show you just how much you mean to me….why didn’t i do it sooner?” Thrusting in hard, his groin smacks against the soft plumpness of your cheeks, you screamed out as he rams himself in, reaching the depths of your gut as he pushes through all of your stagnant walls. Fully in, he pauses before continuing. He had to take a moment to enjoy the feeling of burying his cock deep inside you….after missing out for so long. 

“Why wasn’t I better for you?” Sliding out, his tip breaches its exit, providing you with some relief as you catch your breath, only for him to shove it back in with fierce momentum. “He–Heeseung!” Gripping onto the sofa cushion, you brace through the pressure of pain and pleasure as he roughs up your womanhood. He was being so demanding with the way he was thrusting, yet his words were so beautifully spoken with genuine sincerity and sympathy. He truly was sorry, and now, he wanted to show it, even if it meant he had to mix his love with fucking you into pieces. 

“Why didn’t I tell you how I’ve felt all this time?” Thrusting, he jolts forward and bucks his hips, causing your body to rumble and shoot forward, only to be retracted back as he pulls you in, all to repeat his performance in jutting his cock back into you deeply, shiting your body forward. 

“Why wasn’t I home often?” Thrusting and pumping his cock fiercely, you felt the sting of his thickness tearing you open. It had been too long, your body nearly forgot what it felt like to have someone, much less him, pelting you with their girth. Even though you were devotedly waiting for him, and yearned for him, he left you empty and unfulfilled so many nights, and you spent each evening alone and drifting off into a dream where you weren’t sleeping lonesomely on an empty bed. Now, he was here, and for the first time in so long, he was not only making love, but he was fucking you like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to take it easy, or slow, he wanted to go in deep and hard. He wanted his performance to match the ferocity of his love and yearning for you. 

“Why did I let you sleep alone all those nights? I should have been there to kiss you to sleep.” Deepening his thrust, the curved edge of his lengthy member hits your sweet spot. Soon, there was no pain, only the pressure of pleasure and ecstasy. 

“I should have touched you more.” increasing speed, he forces the moisture of your secreted fluids to squelch in and out. Your body gushes out, you could feel yourself releasing the warm liquid your body was producing, seeping out, and glazing his cock as he continues to fuck you. 

“I should have loved you harder.” Grabbing onto both sides of your waist, he pumps his cock in and out, faster and faster as he holds you steady. 

“I should have been better. I should have been so much better.” Slapping into you, his groin and thighs stains your skin red as he continues to slam himself in, going deeper and deeper. 

“I should have….fuck….baby you feel so good…I should have…I should have….” 

“Heeseung!! Ugh!” He continues with his pace as you reach behind and smack your hands over his, digging your fingers onto his wrists as you feel the snap in your gut release the high of your orgasm. 

“Fuck baby….you’re making me cum…..” 

Your body shakes uncontrollably and you scream out his name, which transitions into tiresome whimpers as you catch your breath. All the while he slows down, going in deep and slow, passionately slow. Admiring the view of his length smoothing in and out of your womanhood, he savors the feeling of releasing every bit of love, anger, sadness, and regret into you. Still thrusting, his thumbs stroke your skin and he bids you to answer. 

“Tell me you missed me…”

“....I missed you…” 

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you…”

“Tell me you need me.”

“I need you.”

“Now tell me you love me….”

“....I love you….”

Leaning in, he rests his weight on top of you as he tenderly kisses your cheek. His cock remains buried in, and goes in deeper as he propels forward and lays atop your body. “Then turn around…and don’t let me go. I’ll do the same.” 

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

And then they were… lovers Wait really?

And they were….

Part 1: And they were roommates

Part 2: And they were strangers

Summary: Wanda wakes from a dream and needs to make a decision, she hopes she makes the right one

Words: 3K +

“Y/n?” Wanda walked through her house entering the kitchen and seeing you cooking her favourite meal

“Is that paprikash? She asked and you jumped spinning around “hey baby you snuck up on me, but yeah it’s your favourite, I’ll be honest it’s my 4th attempt but I think it’s okay”

Wanda wrapped her arms around your body placing a kiss on the back of your neck “I like this”

“Me sucking at trying to cook?” You chuckled and Wanda laughed with you “just me and you, here, in our little home and no ex boyfriends no weird demons or devils, just the two of us”

Turning around in her hold you held her face in your hands kissing her softly “I love you”

“I love you too”

Wanda shot up in the strange bed looking around and seeing you sat in a chair asleep, or pretending to sleep since demons don’t sleep

“Y/n?”

You opened your eyes standing up and walking to her “do you feel okay now?”

She nodded and stood up from the bed hugging you tight surprising you “I’m breaking up with Vision”

You sighed but Wanda continued “I’m breaking up with him as soon as I get back I don’t need him anymore I only want you, I want to sleep in your bed and not panic about Vision walking in and catching us, I want to go on real dates and want to go to build a bear because I know you really wanted to go that day but thought it was childish and left it, I just want to do so much with you, please please don’t leave me alone”

Through her own tears Wanda couldn’t see the tears running down your face as well, but she did feel you tighten your grip

“I do really want that unicorn” you whispered and Wanda smiled against you “call him”

Wanda pulled away from you and you used your thumbs to wipe her stray tears away “I need to do it in person, will you come with me?”

“Damn right, I want to see his face when it happens”

You went to kiss Wanda but she stopped you confusing you “oh?”

“I need to break up with him now then I’ll kiss you all day”

“Okay, let’s go then”

****************************************************

Arriving at the house you held onto Wanda’s hand entering the house standing over the few drunk and knocked out bodies

“Wanda! I’m so glad you’re okay” Vision appeared dragging Wanda into him into a hug which she quickly pulled away from “vision we need to talk”

“Okay…should we go to your room?”

Wanda shook her head “no it’s okay we can do this here it’ll be quick” she stepped back into you and you automatically wrapped your arms around her glaring at the man

“What’s going on?” Vision had his suspicions but didn’t want to believe them

“I’m sorry Vision I’m breaking up with you, I can’t keep-

“What? Why?! What have I done?” He scrambled and you just laughed “she wants me douchebag, told you my dick was bigger than yours”

Vision saw red marching towards you and you quickly pushed Wanda out of the way before he punched you on one you off balance and to the floor

“Fucking bitch, how dare you steal my girlfriend!”

You jumped up wiping your blood away and spat in his face “you don’t deserve her, she’s better off with me” you remained calm not wanting to blow up while Wanda was here

Wanda come back to you checking your nose “oh honey that looks broken”

You shrugged “it’ll be fine in a few minutes, maybe best to check on the increasing volcano over there”

Wanda looked back at Vision and took in a deep breath “Vision, please leave our house, I’m sorry about it being so sudden but I can’t have you in here anymore”

As her voice wobbled on the last few words the man still couldn’t understand what was going on so he did leave, not without a warning “you both enjoy being toxic bitches together”

He slammed the door waking up a few people who left silently after, you took Wanda into her room and lay her on the bed “you’re mine”

“I’m all yours baby” you straddled Wanda on the bed kissing her deeply and roaming your hands around her body “wait” Wanda breathed out as you started kissing down her chest

You looked up quickly “you okay? Did I do something?”

Wanda soothed your fears with a kiss to your cheek “no it’s okay but…but I think build a bear is open now” your head fell into her neck and you started laughing “you’re so ridiculous, but sure, let’s have a shower and go and get buddy”

Remixing yourself from Wanda you pulled her up giving her a final kiss “buddy? Is that the name of your unicorn you’re gonna get?”

“….maybe”

“That’s adorable, demons are adorable” Wanda giggled kissing you softly and tapping you on the nose “only me, I’m the only adorable demon in the world, rest of them are bastards”

**************************************************

“I’m not sure about this anymore Wands, it’s so busy”

Wanda shrugged tugging you along into the store “so? It’s fine see there’s a few adults in there, come on my love”

“My love?” You paused and Wanda worried she’d upset you

“Is my love okay?”

You wanted to shout yes! But you tried holding in your excitement “sure sure it’s cool, I er yeah it’s great….can I call you my love?”

Wanda lent up kissing you on the cheek “of course my love”

Your ent to kiss her again but Wanda pulled you into store and to the unicorn you really wanted “what about this one?” Wanda picked up a unicorn and handed it to you “yeah he’s cute, I like his rainbow mane and tail”

“Come on then let’s get him!” She excitedly dragged you to the stuffing section but you stopped her “hold on, we could get him a sound or voice”

Your eyes racked over the choices and landed on a cute heart with a heartbeat

“I like this heart” Wanda picked up the heart and smiled “it says on the back it’s got a heartbeat when you press the leg”

You took the heart back and smiled “I really want this, I don’t have a heartbeat…I like listening to yours because it makes me feel human, and you’ll finally have a heartbeat to keep you calm when you get overwhelmed”

When you looked back to Wanda and saw the tears welling upon her eyes you panicked “are you okay???” She kissed you as her response calming you down “I’m perfectly fine, that’s just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said, let’s get you your unicorn”

Besides the teenage employee giving you strange looks as he helped you with the unicorn, you and Wanda had a great time in the store “can we go home now and show you how much I love you by marking every inch of your body”

Wanda gasped holding Buddy the unicorn’s ears “Our son is too young to be hearing such inappropriate things!”

You rolled your eyes but took your new ‘son’ from Wanda and placed him on your shoulders “there you go Buddy, your mommy and daddy want you to see the world from a tall height, you won’t get that from Wanda”

You laughed to yourself not seeing Wanda blush slightly at the moniker ‘mommy’ for her

“So, we’re parents now? Even for gays I think we’re moving very quick”

You shrugged “we already live together so it’s fine, we’re one big happy family”

Wanda stopped and you immediately turned to her looking her over “Wanda? You have to keep stopping or you’re going to give me a horrible heartless heart attack”

“A happy family? Can we have that?”

You calmed your imagined breathing and kissed her softly “of course my love, I mean sure I can’t give you kids but little buddy here will be enough for now right?”

Wanda wondered how many times you were gonna make her cry today, she was counting 3 now?

“I’m so mad I wasted all my time with Vision, you’re the most amazing person ever, even if you are a demon”

Chucking, you gave her a kiss on the forehead “a murderous demon I’ll have you know, and I’ll kill anyone that upsets you, you know that?”

“Is it strange I find that really arousing?” She laughed at your expression “you’re full of surprises, how long have we been living together? A year? I’m learning so much”

“We have so much more time now to get to know each other properly”

************************************************

Wanda’s alarm blared through the room and you reached over her sleeping form to switch it off and nuzzled back into her body kissing the back of her neck to wake her up “wake up princess, you’ve got classes”

While her eyes didn’t open her body Wanda’s body twisted around so she was now facing you and his her face in your neck “no” it was a small but firm whisper and it made you laugh

“We can cuddle later, you’ve got a 2 hour lunch, I’ll bring you home and we can eat then sleep”

Wanda’s eyes opened and stared at you “you know my schedule?”

You nodded “of course, I’ve always known it, that’s why I always picked you up after classes at the correct time”

Wanda thought about it, you were always right there outside the university or in the cafeteria eating for her, that was sweet “okay I’d like that, can we have those sandwiches you made one time that looked like the ones off of Scooby doo?”

“Damn right we can, those are my specialty”

***********************************************

“Natasha!” Wanda finally found her friend just before lunch and hugged her tight “I’ve not seen you all morning where have you been?”

“Hey Wands yeah sorry I just-

“Well well well, if it isn’t the dyke, how’s the whore’s nose? Vision told us he hit her pretty hard” Bucky approached the two of them with Steve

“Shove off assholes” Wanda tried pulling Nat away with her but Bucky grabbed a hold of her arm “hold on red we wanna know something”

“What” she replied still trying to get out of his grasp “why did you dump Vision for her? He’s a man and she’s in need of anger management, has she hit you yet? I bet she’s got some hook on her”

The two started laughing until a hand pulled Bucky around “why don’t you tell me how my right hook is”

Punching him hard enough Bucky was knocked to the floor and Steve scrambled to pick him up running away from you “fucking bitch!” You heard one of them shout not caring who as you looked over where he’d gripped Wanda making sure she was okay

“Did he hurt you?”

Wanda shook her head “no, no I’m okay thanks babe”

“You okay Wanda?” Nat hugged her best friend sparing you a small smile “hey Y/n”

“Hey sweet girl, I see you recovered from the party”

Nat nodded “yeah I did”

You sensed some tension and took Nat’s hand forcing her to look at you “honey, I know you think it’s awkward but it’s not, you’re a great kisser and you’ll make some girl very happy one day, okay? We good?”

Nat nodded “yeah sorry I didn’t want to be weird about it”

You agreed and kissed her on the cheek “you’re still my favourite princess, you know that right?”

Wanda jabbed you in the back “hey, what am I?”

You straightened and turned around to Wanda “you, you are my perfect little girl, the love of my life and the only one who can deal with me”

You went to kiss her but a voice stopped you both

“Excuse me but we don’t tolerate public displays of affection in this university”

You looked at the man and smiled “sorry Dr Pym but I thought you’d be okay with kissing since you certainly enjoy trying to kiss our dancers, poor ladies, the amount of time security had to try and pry you away-

“Thank you miss L/n just try to restrain yourself in public”

The man quickly scurried off and you all burst out laughing “does he really do that?”

“Yeah, he’s a creep at the club, but I like to keep him in line, a few punches here or there and he behaves”

“That’s really hot baby” Wanda kissed you hard meeting her hand wander down to your ass making you pull away suddenly “some really weird things turn you on and I can’t wait to discover them all”

Nat rolled her eyes “anyway before you two have sex against the wall I’m going to lunch, are you guys coming?”

“Actually I’m taking Wanda home and we’ll have lunch there, you’ve got the rest of the day off right?”

Wanda nodded “yeah, the professor is sick so we don’t have to come back”

“Perfect! Come on darling let’s go, see you later Nat”

You both waved Nat off and headed back to your car “so what’s for lunch?” Wanda asked and you shrugged “we could get burgers, I’ll be honest I didn’t make anything”

She laughed “forget the food let’s just go home and sleep, it’s been a long few days and I think it’s catching up to me”

You surprised her picking her up bridal style “Y/n!”

You chuckled holding her close so she doesn’t fall “I don’t want you collapsing from exhaustion princess”

“You’re amazing” she breathed out kissing you softly

“Thank you, now come on, I need to cuddle my girl”

*********************************************

When you both arrived home and settled in Wanda’s bedroom you gave her your hoodie to be comfortable in which she greedily took and put on enjoying the warmth, she watched you get ready for bed refusing to take her eyes off of you even as you got into bed and curled up with her and buddy

“Stop watching me Wanda, go to sleep, I promise I’ll be here when you wake up”

“Promise?” She giggled and you kissed her on the nose “I promise and so does our son”

*************************************************

When Wanda awoke you weren’t there, nor was the unicorn, in fact she wasn’t in her bedroom, wait was she still-

“Oh good you’re awake Wanda, douchebag has been calling you all morning so you need to tell him I haven’t killed you”

Wanda couldn’t believe it, had it all been a lie? It felt so real, a full 3 days and they weren’t real?

You clicking your fingers got Wanda’s attention “you good Wanda?”

“It was all a dream…”

You eyed her curiously “what was a dream? Not like I’ve had any of them in a while, a whole lot of nightmares though”

Wanda looked at you and considered telling you but decided against it “it was nothing, I’m feeling a lot better so just take me home please”

You agreed “alright, I’ll just tidy the place up a bit, and let you get ready” you left leaving Wanda in quiet room thinking about everything, the best 3 days of her life and they all turned out to be fake, just a really good and vivid dream?

She felt some shifting on the bed and sat up suddenly seeing Loki “did you enjoy my work? It was quite a lot to put into a few hours but I think I made it work”

Her eyes widened “it was you? You made that dream? Why?”

The man shrugged “to get you to see what you really want, I don’t mean to meddle in the affairs of demon/human relations but seeing a powerful demon be brought down by a little redhead human was getting to me, you needed to realise the error of your ways, I hope I did that”

He disappeared as quickly as he left and Wanda was left feeling empty yet again “he’s right” she whispered, “I need to fix this”

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - Home Alone

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested✨ - a while ago by somebody who wanted the Quinn fic of being home alone, but with Jack!

Word Count: 2.2k

Warning(s): Making out, handsy Jack. Other than that, just fluff. Oh! And the insinuation that Quinn has cooties.

—————————————

“Hurry up!” I gave Jack a gentle shove as I followed him up the steps of his own home.

We had gone out for lunch together, but Jack had invited me over after informing me his family was out for the evening. I pretended to ponder on that idea far longer than I needed to. The second he asked me to come over, I knew my answer was a yes.

“I’m moving! Oh my god. You’re worse than my dad!” Jack complained as he fished his front door key out of his pocket. He was swift to unlock it, and we both went tumbling inside one right after the other.

Jack and I both kicked our shoes off, leaving them in a heap on the floor as I shoved the door shut and locked it.

“It’s fucking freezing out there!” My arms flew around my shoulders, rubbing myself to warm up. Jack was busy shedding the heavy winter coat he didn’t think to offer. I couldn’t blame him. Sometimes he just didn’t think.

“We need something warm.” I spoke as Jack hung his coat on the rack and reached for my hand.

“Relax, relax. Hot chocolate?” He led me into the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” I glanced out the big widows in the dining room. I wondered how Jack’s family would get home from the city in a blizzard. I hoped they’d be fine. The heavy snowfall hadn’t begun yet, but it was supposed to within the hour.

Jack filled a tea kettle with water before he set it on the stovetop and turned the burner on. My eyes eventually returned to him as he approached. He wrapped his arms around my body, and I was quick to return the hug, my hands clasping together behind his back.

“You’re freezing.” Jack mumbled, I shot him a glare.

“Screw you, Hughes.” I mumbled as I turned and pulled away from him. Jack was swift to grab my wrist and pull me back against his chest. His arms now resting on my stomach. I sighed as his chin was placed on my shoulder. I reached behind myself to run my hand through his hair.

“Might be a nice way to warm up.” Jack’s words had been accompanied by his two hands drifting to squeeze my hips. I laughed softly at him.

“In your dreams, Buddy.” I pulled away again, this time escaping his grabby hands.

“I always dream about you.” He teased dramatically through a quiet laugh.

“You’re so weird.” I gave a gentle push to his shoulder.

“Yeah yeah.. I’ve been told that a few times.” Jack peeked back at the kettle.

“So how are you keeping me entertained, Hughes? What’s your grand plan?” I leaned back against the counter, and folded my arms across my chest.

Jack looked back at me and pursed his lips. It didn’t take him long to think of an answer.

“First we’re gonna make this hot chocolate. Then we’re gonna have to wait for it to cool off. So I was thinking we watch a movie? And after that, I say we sneak on down to the basement.” Despite how comfortable we had grown with one another, Jack still couldn’t be bothered to make eye contact with me when he was insinuating a little more than a little cuddling.

“Oh wow.. seems like a pretty good plan to me.” I reached out to gently grab his jaw, turning his head to face my own. “Might have to get a head start on that last one.” My other hand gently poked at his belly with my knuckles, pulling quiet giggles from the ticklish boy.

“Stop,” Jack was gentle when he pushed my hand away, ridding of one unwanted touch to focus on the one he did want. Which just so happened to be my lips against his own.

Jack’s hands settled on my hips while my arms wrapped around his shoulders. We lost ourselves fairly quickly in the mess of lips and tongues- and the occasional unnerving scrape of teeth. Considering we were both still learning the ropes.

When the tea kettle began to whistle, I gently moved my hands to Jack’s chest, pushing him off.

“I’ll be in on the couch. Yeah?” He nodded, and I slipped out of the kitchen to grab a few blankets.

Jack came in not long after, two mugs in hand and a bright smile on his lips.

“What do you wanna watch?” He asked as he set the mugs down on the coffee table. He looked toward me as he grabbed the remote, and I watched his face screw up in displeasure.

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s Quinn’s blanket.” Jack reached out to pull the baby blue fuzzy blanket right off of me. He tossed it toward the love seat before he made his way across the room to the basket full of blankets. He dug through them before he pulled out a red one that was silk on one side and a patchwork texture on the other. An old gift from his grandmother.

“You’re so picky,” I teased as Jack walked back over and sat down on the couch. He unfolded the blanket and draped it over our legs.

“No, I just don’t want Quinn’s stuff all over you.”

“His stuff?”

“Ya know… his cooties?”

I had to turn away and clasp a hand over my mouth to muffle my inevitable laughter.

“Whatever.” He grumbled. “What do you wanna watch?”

I looked back at Jack before I directed my attention to the tv.

“Whatever you can find.”

What Jack did find, was Twilight. I’d seen them all. He had not. Jack wasn’t into the whole vampire thing, and I knew Ellen didn’t necessarily want her boys watching it anyway. Because if they liked one they’d have to watch them all, and she was not ready to knowingly let her kids watch the first Breaking Dawn movie. Quinn, yes. Jack and Luke? No.

But we were home alone, so Jack and I left it on anyway.

It got boring pretty quickly. A half an hour in, and we were already sipping on hot cocoa and giggling like idiots. At some point, Jack put his mug down and leaned closer to me. His hand rested on my thigh. I glanced up at him.

“As entertaining as this is-“

“Not.” I corrected.

“Yeah.. it’s really not.” Jack and I both laughed. “Maybe we can just skip the movie and take this party downstairs?”

I took another sip of my hot chocolate before I set it down next to his own.

“I think that can be arranged. Only if I get carried though.”

“Which way?”

I considered my options.

“Piggy back ride.” Jack was quick to spring up, holding his arms out for me while I stood on the couch and climbed onto his back.

“Ready?” Jack checked.

“Full speed ahead, Rowdy Airlines.”

I knew he hated his middle name, but I absolutely loved it.

Jack made sure he had a good grip on my legs before he went off down the hall, opening the basement door and asking me to pull it shut behind us before he walked down the steps.

The basement was nothing particularly fancy. A couch, a tv, mini fridge, and an empty area that Ellen once informed me used to be full of all the boys’ toys and kids hockey nets.

Jack stopped in front of the couch and let me down. I climbed off of his back and slipped my hand in his back pocket, stepping out of the way as I pulled him by his jeans, only removing my hand when he fell back into the couch.

“You want music, lover boy?” I teased.

“The stereo has some good stuff sometimes.”

I swiftly slipped off the couch and made my way over to the stereo by the tv. I turned it on, flipping through endless static before I found a station. Then it cut out.

“Jack, it’s all messed up.”

Jack got up and joined me by the stereo. Within seconds he had it back on. He adjusted the volume and gave me a pointed look.

“Can’t trust you with anything.” His words made me smile out of embarrassment. Jack’s hands slipped around my hips and pulled me in. Our eyes locked, expressions softening into admiration and adoration combined. Somewhere in the midst was a mutual feeling of want.

“You’re so cute.” I whispered as I leaned up onto my toes to connect our lips again.

This kiss didn’t last as long. We broke apart to find the couch again, falling onto it, our bodies turned to face one another, and our knees brought up onto the couch in an awkward way. I had a knee on top of Jack’s, and our other two were pressed together.

We were awkward teenagers. No other explanation needed.

Our lips locked not long after. Jack had a hand on my hip and the other on my cheek. My hands were busy at the nape of his neck, gently fidgeting with his hair.

Occasionally one of us would lean forward into the other, but hesitance and uncertainty kept us from pushing one or the other back to lay down. Breaks for air didn’t last long. As they never did with Jack.

It wasn’t until I decided to slip a hand beneath his shirt, that he pulled away to assess the situation.

“You don’t like that?” I asked breathlessly.

“No.. no it’s okay.”

“I’m gonna take it off.” I gave him a warning, and when he didn’t decline, I swiftly slipped his shirt off. It ended up on the floor somewhere.

Jack moved his hand, placing it on my wrist and slowly allowing his hand to travel the expanse of my arm until he found the collar of my shirt. He pulled it aside and leaned in again to kiss my neck. I chuckled softly. He started to shift onto his knees, and I wrapped my hand around his back. Starting to pull him into me. Myself leaning back, Jack moving forward. Starting to get somewhere-

“Jack! What the hell are you doing?”

We tore apart faster than a flash of lightning. Jack looked like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I peered over the top of the couch to see Quinn standing there with his hockey bag over his shoulder. All three sets of our eyes were huge.

“Quinn! Language!” I heard Ellen shout from upstairs.

“Quinn- Quinn please.” Jack slowly sunk to sit down, sliding off the couch and standing up.

“Mom!”

Sometimes I hated how petty these two could be. My face flushed, and I could only imagine how much more embarrassing it was about to get.

“What, honey?”

“Nothing!” Jack immediately shouted.

“Mom you have to-“

“It’s nothing!” Jack shouted over his brother more forcefully. Their disagreement beckoned Ellen to the top of the stairs.

“What is your guys’ problem?” She snapped.

“Jack’s sucking face with his girlfriend down here.”

I shot Quinn a dirty glare.

The silence that followed was deafening.

“Jack’s doing what?” I heard Jim’s voice at the top of the stairs, and soon I heard his heavy steps descending.

“Getting his Love Shack on, apparently.” Quinn’s prideful smile made my glare ten times harder.

“Quintin, quit that.” Ellen scolded, though she sounded concerned.

“Jack.” Jim paused the second he made it to the bottom of the steps. He examined the crime scene. Somehow the music made it all the more humiliating.

“She just came over because of the storm-“

“I’m sure she did.” Jim shook his head in disapproval. “Do you have a ride home?” He directed his attention to me.

“I drove here, sir.” I had only ever called Jim sir the day we met.

“It’s fine.. really it’s fine.” Jim assured me. “I mean it’s not fine.. but Jim is- it’s not bad enough to not be called Jim.” His words confused both Hughes brothers, and myself. “We just- you should probably go home.” I slowly stood up. “Drive safe, yeah? I know you’re only a block away, but still.”

“Thank you.” I cast Jack a nervous glance before I slipped off toward the steps. I spared Quinn a harsh hit to the shoulder before I escaped up the stairs, offering Ellen an apologetic look.

Somehow I knew the making out wasn’t necessarily the issue. The Hughes’ were never that strict of a family. But I knew I broke a rule coming over when nobody was home.

“I’m sorry, Ellen.” She held a hand up and shook her head.

“It won’t happen again, I’m sure of it,” was all she said. She offered me a gentle smile. “Just promise me you’ll be patient with Jack while he’s grounded.” I managed a quiet chuckle.

“I can wait for him.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[sungiejpg]

WHY ME?; na jaemin [smau]

17. the worst nightmare + written (after each 3 photos!)

𓂃⊹pairing: jaemin x f!reader

𓂃⊹tags: college au, enemies to lovers, smau, humour, reversed trope

𓂃⊹synopsis: he is known as the nicest guy on the faculty who gets along with everyone, well…maybe not everyone

𓂃⊹warnings: suggestive messages/topics

ignore how bad the narration might be 😭 I didn’t have enough time.

“So, Jaemin,” Y/n and Jisung’s mother called him while he was finishing preparing the table with Jisung’s help, he already had a bad feeling regarding the conversation. “Did you see that my big baby finally got a boyfriend?” She said smiling, Jaemin already knew their mother always wanted Y/n to get into a relationship. Bingo.

“Oh, they are not dating,” Jaemin clarified while trying not to sound pissed off about the topic. Although, why would he get pissed off, it’s not like he cares.

“Not yet,” their mother replied, still smiling. Jaemin loved that woman, she always treated him like a son, but this exact day he wasn’t that fond of her.

“Mom! Please don’t say that when Y/n comes,” Jisung jumped in the conversation trying to shush his own mother, something that made Jaemin appreciate him even more.

“I know I know”, she repeated, “but wouldn’t that be cute?” she asked while looking at Jaemin and completely ignoring her own son, who was pretending to vomit.

“Haechan is not cute,” Jaemin replied, trying to maintain his composure. But again, he doesn’t care if they date, does he?

“Aw, our Jaeminnie,” she screamed. “Always taking care of my kids,” their mom said while pinching his cheeks. He just smiled awkwardly.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom then,” Jaemin said, exiting the room as a way to end the conversation and forget about it forever if possible.

No later than 4 mins you came, not without praying internally Jisung wasn’t already dead because of a spider or something, since you took longer than intended.

“Mom?” you asked when you saw your mother smiling standing in your kitchen and a kinda scared Jisung next to her. Well, not more than yourself, you could already tell what the topic of the night was going to be. “What are you doing here?”

“Aw my baby! I missed you so much” she screamed, running to hug you, which you reciprocated. “I came here since it’s been long since I last saw you and I wanted to have dinner with my two babies”.

“And?” You asked, already sensing what she was going to say.

“and I also invited someone special for dinner too,” she finally said after breaking the hug, Jisung smiling awkwardly, or scared, next to her. Kill me now, you thought, knowing it was going to be your biggest nightmare these days.

“Mom, don’t tell my is Jaemin, please.” Although you could already tell it was going to be him.

“He is already here, he went to the bathroom,” Jisung replied instead, still maintaining a nervous smile, which made you even more nervous.

“But I meant someone special for you,” your mom answered. Oh yeah, exactly, why would Jaemin be special to you. Wait, you thought, no way.

“Don’t tell me is…” But you weren’t able to finish your sentence since your doorbell rang, showing your biggest nightmare, fuckass Lee Haechan. Jisung is so dead, you thought.

“Hi family!” Haechan greeted everyone, not without smirking when he saw your face. And if things couldn’t get worse, it was at that moment when Jaemin came back from the bathroom and looked confused at you two. Jisung is so so so so dead.

“Well,” you said while putting your phone down after your mother and jisung left, not without her pinching Jaemin’s cheeks and saying he should go see her soon. You still don’t know how that even happened, since when was he that close?

“It’s been long since we last talked properly, only both of us,” Jaemin said, trying to make the situation less awkward. Who would have told you two months ago that you would be awkward with Jaemin, not because you hated him, but because you wanted him…

“I don’t think this counts,” definitely not awkward at all. Both of you were still in the corridor next to the door.

“So Haechan and you, huh?” he said while getting a bit closer to you, sounding a bit pissed off. Why would he? Maybe because Haechan was his friend?

“Not you too, I would rather light myself on fire than date him” quite literally. You even thought about doing it while your mom was trying to set both of you up during the dinner. Also poor Jisung, who had to listen to all of that.

“Hey, he’s still my friend,” Jaemin joked while smirking and still getting closer to you. If he kept doing that you would jump on him and bite his head off, out of excitement, not hatred. “Is he that bad?”

“Well, he isn’t I guess” you sincerely replied, “but I don’t like him, romantically I mean.” That coming off way more awkward than you intended since Jaemin was way closer than before.

“Romantically? So,” he said still getting closer, he smelled like vanilla, of course he did. “So do you like someone?”

“Maybe?”

One second he is smirking and the next second his tongue is tangled with yours, making your heart rate increase. Maybe this is where you die. After what felt like an eternity, he pulling back from the kiss and looking at you confused, as if he wasn’t the one initiating it. However, both of you heard the sound of keys.

“Well, bye,” he blurted out as soon as he heard Jisung out of the flat, opening the door.

“What do you mean by well bye?” You screamed, but he already left half running, leaving Jisung and you confused. What the fuck just happened.

“What’s going on? He didn’t even take his jacket with him,” Jisung mumbled, but you didn’t listen to that, too busy trying to grasp the situation.

𓂃before | 𓂃next

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 2)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

(Part 1) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Warnings: Mature themes, depression, sadness, angst, fluff

Bucky woke up facing the wall. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know that if he turned around you wouldn't be there. He couldn't smell your perfume or hear your soft breath. He internally grimaced. So it would be like old times. They would pretend like nothing happened. 

He rolled over staring at the ceiling, images flashing of last nights events. Please don't leave me. Over and over in his brain. He bunched his fists and rubbed his face. 

Over in y/n's room she was doing the same thing. Staring at the ceiling wondering why she was so pathetic. She had totally freaked him out. What am I doing?

She sat up and pulled at her hair.

"Fuck" Today was going to be awkward. After her realization last night she wanted to die. 

"What am I even doing?" She threw the covers off and stood up when she heard a knock. She froze. I can't do this right now.

Someone knocked again. 

“Y/n, are you coming to train? I thought I was supposed to meet you down there.” Steve said. Oh thank god. 

“Yes. I’m sorry I overslept, give me five minutes, I’ll meet you down there.” You winced. 

“Sounds like a plan.” He laughed. 

You threw her clothes on and looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked rough. Eyes were a little swollen and blotchy, lines from the crinkled sheets were left on your forehead and cheek. 

“Just go train and come back. You won’t see him. He definitely doesn’t wanna see you-” Another knock sounded on the door. It had only been two minutes. Steve needed to chill.

“Doll.” Again, you froze. You held your breath and hoped the person on the other side wouldn't know you were there. 

“I know you’re in there. We need to talk.” Bucky said, he seemed exhausted. You closed your eyes and said nothing. 

“Don’t make me break down this door. Tony is gonna bitch at me if he has to fix another one” His joke was laced with a serious tone. You contemplated it and before you knew what you were doing you whipped open the door. He looked shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. 

“Stop. I don’t need your help. I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you last night but I promise it won’t happen again. Let’s pretend this never happened and we can go our separate ways.” You said cold and detached. 

“Y/n I can’t do tha-”

“I can’t do this.” 

“Do what?” You knew what he meant. He was asking if this meant talk or us. You both just stared at each other.

“Steve’s waiting for me.” You brushed past him and walked down the hall. As soon as you made it past him your facade broke. 

You sparred with Steve and he certainly didn’t go easy on you. Bruises littered your body from head to toe. A cut sliced through your eyebrow. You needed it though. You needed to feel strong. Taking on the super soldier was therapeutic. You knew you couldn’t beat him but you could hold your own. You headed to the kitchen grabbing the pitcher of orange juice and sat on the counter. Minding your own you just drank and swished it around your mouth. No thoughts plaguing your mind. Then Bucky walked in. He didn’t even look your way. He walked straight past, opening the fridge. You watched him waiting for him to pester you but it never came. 

He went to walk out of the kitchen and you thought you were in the clear until he stopped at the edge of the island. For some reason you wanted him to speak, you wanted him to tell you that it was okay. That you were going to be okay and whisper the sweet nothings you couldn't stop thinking about. You needed to feel his breath on your hair and the hum of his chest. 

You knew he was about to walk away. 

“Don’t.” you said and he turned his head the slightest bit just so you could make out the outline of his lips.  He waited for you to say more. 

“Don’t what?” Still not turning around. You sucked in the remaining air in the room and put down the pitcher. 

“Don’t leave me.” you whispered. You knew he could hear it when he turned around completely. 

“Please. Please don’t leave me.” Your eyes started to glaze over. Your voice cracking. He made long strides over to you and gathered you in his arms, standing between your legs. 

“Doll, I would never. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” He mumbled into your hair as he leld the back of your head. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said. Please, forgive me. I know you’re only trying to help me. I was awf-”

“Y/n stop. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled apart placing his hands on your shoulders. Your went to argue and he stopped you.

“I mean it. I’ll never leave you. Nothing you could do or say would make me leave you.” He put his metal fingers through his hair, raking it back. 

“God, y/n, don’t you see what you do to me. I physically can’t leave you. Every part of me belongs to you. My body is your body. Your mind is my mind. You are seared into my soul. If you leave me I think everything I have, everything I am would break.” His breath was ragged now. His chest falling and rising quickly. He stood only a few feet from you. 

“James.” 

“I’m sorry I had to tell you. Actually I’m not sorry-”

“Kiss me.” He froze. 

“James, kiss me.” He didn’t waste another second. He grabbed your face and crashed his lips on to your own. You wrapped your arms around him and hooked your legs around his waist. His hands found your neck and the other grabbed under your thigh pulling you closer. You grabbed the hair on the back of his neck and rested your forehead against his. Tears pricked in your eyes. 

“Tell me this is forever. Tell me you feel the same way. Tell me you need me like I need you.” He spoke softly. 

“I don’t” You looked him in the eyes. His face crumbled. You grabbed his chin.

“I need you so much more. I need you so much that I can’t breathe. I need you so much that when we are apart my heart physically hurts. I can’t think. I can’t eat.  I need you more than I need water. I need you so much that…” You trail off. It’s his turn to grab your hands on his face. 

“So much that what?” He urges you to go on.

“So much that I break down” You let a tear slip down your cheek. A look of anguish crosses his face. 

“You will never have to feel like that again. Doll, you scared me last night. I hated seeing you like that. In that moment I knew I would hurt anyone who dared hurt you. I would fight every monster in your dreams. I would kill for you” You knew that he wasn't lying. 

“So I beg you y/n. Please, god, please. Please don't leave me” 

Let me know what you think! This is my first time writing. Should I turn this into a series and add everything that led up to this?

[marlynnofmany]

Shore Leave

I didn’t think I was homesick until I caught the unexpected sound of a toddler’s wild laughter from the spaceship bridge. Out in the hall, I whipped around to stick my head through the door with some very unprofessional curiosity. That hadn’t been an alien noise.

Up on screen was our new client who the captain was negotiating with, and also the client’s young daughter. She’d apparently come into Daddy’s room to show the nice aliens on the video call her favorite noisemaker.

“Okay honey, they think it’s great. Go on back to—” the patient father was interrupted by an electronic fart sound on high volume, and even louder peals of laughter from his child. “I’m sorry,” he said to the captain as he scooped up the wiggly youngster and carried her out of frame.

Captain Sunlight waited patiently, every inch the dignified yellow lizard alien who wasn’t about to let someone’s gleeful offspring ruffle her calm.

The human came back, minus the child but with a new food smear on the shoulder of his crisp uniform shirt. Nobody told him. The conversation resumed with nary a giggle, and with me waiting in the hall.

“…By that timeframe or sooner,” Captain Sunlight concluded. “We can’t have your colony going without the comforts of home for long! Farewell.” She held her position as Wio flicked a button with one blue-ringed tentacle, and the screen clicked off.

“I volunteer,” I said.

A lesser captain might have twitched, but she probably knew I was there. “That saves me the trouble of finding you to ask,” she said smoothly, turning her chair. “It’s a big delivery, with multiple cases, so we’ll get a couple others to go along too.”

“Sure, sure,” I said. “I’m sure they’ll love to visit a human colony.”

“Though we won’t need too much lifting power,” she continued, “Because it’s a lower-gravity world.”

“Yay!” I said with an honest grin. “That’s even better.”

***

Getting the shipment down the ramp was surprisingly difficult, because the hoversled was calibrated for the artificial gravity inside our ship. Even with Mimi clinging to the control panel as it passed the barrier, the dang thing bounced.

I leaped to pull it down; Paint shrieked and leapt out of the way; Zhee yelled at both of us; Mimi cranked the controls and overcorrected, almost crushing my feet. I leapt back next to Paint, who had already stumbled in the low gravity and fallen on orange sand that was actually a decent match for her scales. I managed not to land on top of her.

“Got it,” Mimi grumbled in that rough voice that always seemed out of place on a guy who looked like an octopus the color of mint chip ice cream. He scrambled off the back of the sled. “Don’t touch the controls until you get back.”

“Understood,” Zhee said, clicking forward to follow the sled. He made the best exit of all of us, only springing upward a little. All those legs probably helped. Bug aliens weren’t known for tripping over their own feet — something that Zhee was insufferably smug about, and something that I would never let him live down if it actually happened. Not today, though.

The minor excitement had made it obvious that the air on this low-grav world was indeed as thin as the scans had said, and there was no point in toughing it out until we got indoors. The three of us got our feet under us and put on the vaguely-uncomfortable breathing masks, then began maneuvering the sled as a team. Really Zhee was doing all of the work while Paint and I held onto the sides and calibrated our own relationships with gravity, but we could pretend. And the long walk across the landing pad gave me a chance to take in the sights.

The landing pad itself was pretty boring; a couple silver-gray ships on one side and a wide stone building on the other. No sign of our contact yet, but the instructions had been to meet at the sun-shelter. So that’s where we went. At a hoppity-bouncy pace that probably would have looked very silly to any local humans if they were out to see us yet.

As we got closer to the big sun-shelter, I could better appreciate the way its shape seemed built to funnel cool air in and warm air out. Also the view off the cliff. I got a good look at that too, over the edges of the flat hilltop that the landing pad covered.

My first impression was: weird desert. Sandy hillsides in reds and oranges, with a sun that was just above those hills, and already hot. A bunch of alien trees scattered around that looked like they wanted to be cacti. They were almost familiar, as if they’d been designed by someone who only had third-hand descriptions of Earth plants to work with.

The low gravity let them get wild in ways that would collapse back home. The tallest ones spread up into the sky in cylinders that bent and quested out in every direction like curious snakes, but at a vast scale. Others spiraled straight up like unicorn horns, or twisted together like lumpy brains the size of a house, or feathered out like thick fan blades with fractal patterns. A couple were probably star-shaped if you cut a cross section, and the sides reached out to make dividers that were probably handy to hide behind in a sandstorm.

I was so busy looking at the cactus trees and trying to decide if they had spines or not that I was surprised when the hoversled stopped. We’d reached the shelter.

Zhee rapped on the door with his pincher arm. It was stone too, and would have hurt my knuckles.

Where is everybody? I thought, looking around at the sun-bright area. It sure is getting hot out.

The door slid wide to the welcome sight of another human, who immediately ushered us inside.

“Come come, bring it in!” she said, waving both hands and bounding aside. Her skin was dark and her clothes were drapey, and she seemed to consider the matter urgent. Given how much the top of my head was starting to cook, I didn’t blame her.

The door wasn’t big enough for the sled. So we unloaded it through the doorway, as quickly as possible, with me sliding close to the human and Zhee standing on the sled and Paint standing behind it to push boxes forward and comment that the extreme heat was kind of nice, actually.

But even she, coldblooded though she was, had to admit that shade was nicer by the time we got everything unloaded. She helped turn the hoversled on its side at the recommendation of the human, who still hadn’t introduced herself. Flipping it around was weirdly easy in the low-grav. Once we got even the sled inside the room — very spacious, that — the human closed the door and greeted us properly.

Yes, she was the contact we were supposed to meet. Taeya, how-do-you-do. Yes, the weather here did get shockingly hot quickly. No, it wouldn’t be pleasant to go back out into that, even for the short jaunt to the ship. Did we have to rush off, or was there time for a cooling beverage or two?

“There is!” I told her. “The captain said we have two hours of wiggle room in our schedule — usually there’s more, but we have some urgent deliveries — anyway, two hours, three tops, because she wanted to, uh, ‘give me time among my own herd.’” I made finger quotes.

Taeya beamed. “Then let me give you a tour! This stuff will keep; the people coming to unpack it won’t need any help from me. C’mon downstairs.”

“Downstairs?” I asked.

She hopped behind the boxes and disappeared, waving a hand to follow. “Downstairs!”

With a glance at the others, I moved forward and floated down the red stone stairs, one hopping step at a time.

And there I found civilization.

Stairs led to streets and storefronts and vast, cavernous halls, all carved out of the rock. It was built mostly around the edges of the mesa from what I could tell, a curving, circular city with lots of air flow that left the central core solid and untouched. It didn’t quite feel like home to me, but it was so impressive that I didn’t mind.

Every boulevard had high ceilings, and even high benches, out of the way of foot traffic. Most of the surfaces were either painted or carved. And everywhere I looked, humans bounced instead of walking — which did look silly no matter how they approached it.

With the drapey, flowing, colorful clothes that everyone wore, it all looked like a society of cheerful wizards. I laughed behind my breathing mask, then asked Taeya if she thought I could take it off. She wasn’t wearing one, but then her lungs were used to thin air.

“Oh yes, I should have said,” she told me with a wave of gold-and-red sleeves. “We have oxygen generators lower down, to keep things comfortable. Along with the top-notch medical suites for keeping an eye on any low-grav degradation. Offworlders tend to ask about that.” She had a distinct twinkle in her eye as she said it.

“How handy,” I said.

Zhee peered judgmentally at the lightfooted humans. “Is that how you handle muscle atrophy? With medical adjustments?”

“Partly,” Taeya said.

“Mushers!” Paint exclaimed at the same time, pointing.

I turned, looking for sled dogs and thinking back to the time Paint had gotten to ride a hoversled while I pulled. I saw no dogs now, but a cluster of rickshaws pulled by people huffing like suburban joggers. They didn’t bounce, weighted down as they were. And their passengers looked like workout buddies urging them on until they got their own turns.

“Partly things like that,” Taeya finished smoothly.

I removed my breathing mask, eyeing a nearby restaurant and a closer flower display, then took a deep lungful of body odor and broke up laughing. When the nearest passersby had moved on, hopefully toward showers, I explained to my nonhuman crewmates that sometimes our own natural smell was unpleasant to us, with insufficient hygiene. Surely I’d told them that before.

“Right, you did,” Zhee said. “I still say it’s a deeply maladaptive trait.”

“I won’t argue with you on that count,” I told him, trying to fan the air casually.

Thankfully the rest of the crowd sported a more pleasant range of scents, and we hopped on down the road.

Taeya had something else to show us before nightfall.

“Nightfall?” I asked with some concern. “We’ve only got two hours, less now. Probably closer to one.”

Taeya responded by making a sharp turn toward a row of window slits, just a few inches wide by several times my height. Outside, the sun was already getting low.

“Oh,” I said eloquently.

“It’s the perfect time to see the flitters come out,” Taeya said with another hand wave. “Come on.”

More bouncing steps, another beautiful hallway full of murals, and another curving stairway down. Then we were, surprisingly, outside.

A sprawling garden of alien succulents covered the ground, with low burrows that I noticed moments before brilliantly-colored creatures began scampering out of them. These took to the sky in flashes of movement, flitting about as the name suggested, for all the world like tiny flying carpets that had been ferrets once.

Paint wanted to know if they bit. Zhee asked if they were food. I shook my head while Taeya told them both no. They were a lovely sight, and that’s all they needed to be. Plus they ate some local pests. Always a bonus.

The air was getting chilly already, to my surprise. Taeya did something deft with her clothes, pinning the drapey bits in a way that looked suddenly much warmer, with all that cloth wrapped around her.

“If you were staying longer, I’d suggest you get a local outfit,” she told me.

I nodded. “If I was staying longer, I’d take you up on that. Looks like a good design.” Clever and foreign, in a way that looked like several familiar things at once while managing to be none of them. And certainly nothing I’d ever worn.

Staring up at the whirling flitters as the light left the sky, I felt oddly sad. So much of this was halfway familiar, not the whole-hearted taste of home that I’d hoped for. But before I could get too maudlin, Taeya waved us back toward the carved-out city.

“C’mon, back into the good air,” she said. “One last thing before we get you back up to your ship.”

I hopped quietly after her. Zhee muttered about the theoretical taste of flitter meat while Paint made stiff-legged lizard hops out of the nighttime chill.

We were only a little ways down this new hallway before I heard music.

I bounded faster.

The great hall that Taeya led us into was lined with people around the edges, standing in rows and sitting on ledges, their voices echoing as they sang toward the center. I spotted instruments at some of the higher seats. People at the bottom swayed in time.

I didn’t know the words. But I knew the sound. A crowd of humans singing together; it was a glorious thing.

This is what I’ve been missing, I thought, breathing deeply. The air here smelled like flowers and spices and laundry detergent, and it was full of the sound of home. A vast roomful of people singing the same song, voices rebounding off the walls and bodies moving in joy.

I glanced back at Zhee and Paint. They both looked a little baffled. I asked over the music, “Do your people do much singing?”

“A bit? I guess?” Paint said. “But not all together like this.”

Zhee shook his head. “Why would you use your voice for music?” he asked. “How barbaric.”

I laughed and turned to Taeya, who was happy to teach me the words. There was even a bit of dancing with the next song, and that was an adventure in low gravity. So was the next. Zhee and Paint patiently observed from the doorway.

Then when one song ended, and a fast drumbeat paved the way for the next, I was surprised to see a number of people vacate the dance floor. I started to do the same, ready to say something about getting to the ship on time.

I didn’t realize that Taeya had left until she returned. She appeared at my elbow with two padded helmets and a smile.

“We’ve moved on to quick-beat time!” she told me over the rising music. “Does your captain need you back right now, or can you stay long enough to try a low-grav mosh pit?”

Our two hours were up and I knew it. I looked to Zhee and Paint, who were close enough to hear the conversation. Paint was sitting on one of the head-height benches. She looked down at Zhee.

He turned his head away, which meant nothing with his range of vision. He harrumphed. “Don’t break anything the medsystem can’t fix.”  

“I’ll do my best!” I told him with a grin as I accepted a helmet. “Besides, I hear they have good ones here.”

Surrounded by a mix of old and new, I joined my people in the time-honored tradition of dancing more far vigorously than common sense dictated. The captain had said three hours tops. 

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

[hxney-lemcn]

Is This Really Fake? — Fern Mertens x gn! reader

summary: Fern and reader fake date so Finn will stop bothering Fern. Only, it becomes a lot more real between the two behind closed doors.

tw: slightly suggestive at the end...but not really at the same time lol

a/n: Fake dating trope!!!!! Heavy inspiration from this post! Go check it out.

wc: 1.2k

Master List

“Please,” Fern pleaded. “Just until Finn gets off my back.”

I squinted at him, but his tired gaze finally convinced me.

“Fine,” I huffed. 

In reality, I was ecstatic. I’ve had the fattest crush on Fern for as long as I could remember. And although I was a bit bummed he didn’t actually ask me out, I’d take what I could get. 

It was game night at Finn and Jake’s place, and Fern’s plan was going to be set in motion. I felt nervous about what may happen tonight…

“Can you put on a smile?” Fern asked after he knocked on the door. “You look like you’re ready to dig your own grave.”

“For a matter of fact, I am,” I replied back with a fake glare. 

When the sound of feet shuffling got close, I straightened my posture, quickly grabbing Fern's hand. He jumped slightly at the contact, but we quickly both threw on smiles when Finn opened the door.

“Hey guys! Come on in,” Finn invited. When we entered, climbing up to the living room, Jake waved us over to the couch.

This isn't your regular game night. This was video game night. Since there were only two controllers, we’d pass it on to the next person each round. Fern and I sat next to each other on the couch, closer than usual that is. The entire encounter was quite awkward. Perhaps pretending to be a couple wasn’t gonna work.

“So,” Jake spoke up, a cheesy smile on his face. “What’s going on with you two?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, playing coy. I glanced over to Fern whose face had been a dark shade of green ever since I grabbed his hand earlier. 

“Yeah,” Finn added. “You two have been acting differently all night.”

“Uhm,” Fern mumbled, glancing to his side. “I mean…I guess we started dating-”

“WHAT!” Finn shouted, hands on the side of his head. “How long?”

“A week?” I asked more than stated. We went over our cover story, but being interrogated by Finn and Jake was slightly nerve wracking. 

“A week!” Finn continued to exclaim. “Why didn’t you tell us man!”

“I…uh…didn’t think it was a big deal,” Fern shrugged. 

“Calm down man,” Jake chuckled when Finn seemed like he was going to continue to explode. “We’re happy for you two. Now let's keep playing!”

The lie became more comfortable for Fern and I. An example being the new years party Marceline was holding. There were a lot of people, but Fern and I were chilling in a corner. We each held a red solo cup, his holding water and mine holding some punch. We were talking about whatever came to mind, just enjoying each other's company. 

“Yeah, and Finn totally freaked out,” Fern chuckled, leaning against the wall. 

“You two lovebirds having fun?” Marcy asked while approaching us. 

“Totally,” I grinned at her from my place next to Fern. The teasing comments from our friends had become a norm we’ve grown used to. Not helped by the fact that Fern and I hung out a ton. 

“Just a reminder,” Marcy grinned deviously. “It’s said if a couple doesn’t kiss at midnight, their bond weakens.”

I felt my face flush, and glancing at Fern revealed he was feeling the same way. Marcy only cackled as she floated away. 

“You don’t gotta kiss me,” Fern spoke up after a few seconds of awkward silence. “Just a peck is fine…”

I smiled shyly, looking down at the drink in my hands, “It’s cool. As long as you’re okay with it.”

“Y-yeah!” Fern exclaimed before clearing his throat. “I mean, yeah. I don’t care.”

A small chuckle left me at his enthusiasm, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Shuffling a bit, I found myself scooting closer to Fern, who smiled at me sheepishly. Suddenly, the entire room had people counting down.

“10!” People said in chorus. I tensed, not realizing how late it’s already gotten. 

9

I looked over to Fern whose whole face turned a slightly darker shade of green.

8

My eyes swept across the whole room, landing on Marcy and Bonnibel who were cheering loudly together.

7

Taking a deep breath, I face Fern once more.

6

We shuffled closer together. “You’re really okay with this?”

5

“Yeah,” I replied breathlessly, in awe that this was actually happening. 

4

Our faces inch closer.

3

I looked into his green eyes, afraid about how real this feels.

2

My heart twisted, hoping that this felt just as real for him.

1

Our lips connected in a light kiss. Neither one is sure how far to take it. I pushed a little more, not satisfied with just merely brushing our lips. Fern seemed to agree, as he raised a hand to rest on my arm. 

We pulled apart after a few seconds, our faces both on fire. I looked off to the side, taking a small step back. I just kissed my best friend who I was pretending to date. Did I just reveal my feelings? Does Fern know that my feelings in this relationship aren’t as fake as they’re supposed to be?

After that night, things had taken a turn for the better. We were currently hanging out, just watching a show. My head rested on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. We both had become accustomed to each other's touch. In fact, I felt like I couldn’t imagine a world without it. 

It was late, and my eyes kept fluttering close every so often. Fern rested his head against mine. He was so soft to lay against, not to mention warm. Like resting on freshly cut grass on a nice summer day. 

“Could…could you kiss me?” Fern asked quietly, almost like he didn’t want me to hear.

“What?” I questioned, pulling away slowly to meet his eyes. “We don’t have to pretend right now.”

“I know,” Fern replied awkwardly, not able to meet my eyes. “But…I could use one right now.”

My heart rate accelerated. Perhaps, this was real for him too. These feelings that I felt were reciprocated. I felt like mush at the fact that Fern is asking me to kiss him, not somebody else. 

“Of course,” I agreed. This was our second kiss, and it felt just as amazing, if not better than our previous one. Still a bit awkward, but it held a passion that threatened to take my breath away. His hands held my face softly as he angled his own to better match me. My fingers brushed through his hair, enjoying how soft it felt under my finger tips. 

When we pulled away, Fern still held his face close to mine. My eyes fluttered open, drinking in his flustered expression. His cheeks were a deep green, eyes half lidded, mouth open as he tried to catch his breath. 

“C-could we do that again?” I couldn’t help but ask, already missing the feeling of his lips on mine. 

“Please,” Fern begged, meeting my lips once more without missing a beat. I let out a delightful hum, he tasted slightly sweet. It felt so intoxicating, I can only hope this means we’re official now. I pushed myself closer into his figure, and he wrapped his arms around me. I pulled away to take a breath, only for Fern to chase my lips.

I let out a soft chuckle, putting my hand against his chest, “I need to breathe.”

“Do you?” Fern replied stubbornly, eyes filled with such a strong want I felt myself melting against him. 

“Kinda,” I muttered with a sly grin. I decided to snuggle up against him, laying my head in the crook of his neck, “...does this mean we’re actually dating now?”

“Yeah…I think so.”

"We better be," I grumbled.

[starogeorgina]

Violent delights

Warnings: Swearing, character death

Pairings: Jacaerys Velaryon x oc

1.10

Notes: For the sake of fanfiction, let's pretend it only takes a few days to travel north 🤣

“Men like Aegon never change. They will always be monsters.”

“Precisely, that is why this plan will work.”

You twiddle with the ring that sits on your middle finger, a gift from your husband not long after you got married. The only time you’d taken it off was when your fingers swelled so much during your pregnancy with Rhaenys; they had become so puffy that the ring had begun to cut into your finger. You remember how happy you were when it finally fit on again because of how sentimental it was. Now, looking at it, you feel nothing but guilt.

Teary-eyed, you look at your stepfather and ask, “What if it goes wrong? What if I don’t ever get to see my children, mother, or Jace again?”

Daemon pinches the bridge of his nose. Lucery's death has affected him just as much as the rest of you. He loved Luke as if he were his own, but you feared his thirst for revenge was preventing him from thinking clearly. “I love Jacaerys too much to risk leaving him to raise our five children alone. I will help you seek justice any other way I can, but I cannot do what you are asking. I’m not strong enough to do what you are asking on my own. I’m sorry.”

Daemon places both hands on your shoulders and gives them a comforting squeeze. “My sweet Lyarra, don’t ever apologize for putting your family first.”

Although they aren’t unkind, his words upset you further. It was hard for you to process that, Lucerys was your family.

You awaken to the sound of your son's soft voice. You open your eyes to see him pointing out the carriage window excitedly, “Muña look, it’s Vermax.”

Groggily, you lean forward and see your husband’s dragon, Vermax, curled up into a ball on top of a small hill. A knot forms in your stomach. In different circumstances, seeing Jacery after spending time apart would have set your heart ablaze, but you felt dread. Lucerys wasn’t only his brother but Jace’s best friend, and telling him what happened would break his heart.

“Do you think we will be well received, princess?” Clara asks. “It’s known that northerners are suspicious of outsiders.”

It had crossed your mind how the north would accept a Targaryen when Jacaerys first left, given your very different customs, but the Starks were known for their loyalty, and since they had already sworn to your mother, you didn’t think they would break faith. However, you also didn't think they would understand siblings marrying each other.

“Our banners the right colours,” you say. Trying to lighten the tension, you add, “Cregan Stark isn’t much older than Prince Jacaerys, so I imagine they will have bonded already.”

Vermax suddenly lets out a loud screech while looking up at the sky; perhaps the dragon had spotted Viserion. It seems as if Viserion could sense your worry about being spotted, so he flew so high up into the sky that no human could see him from the ground. You had remained in disguise throughout your journey, which hadn’t been easy given that you had five children with you. There had been many stops and carriage changes along the way, and only when Winterfell came into sight did you allow for your house banners to be lowered to one side of the carriages.

Under different circumstances, you would have loved to travel to Winterfell and experience seeing your children walk in the snow for the first time. Or flying on your dragon and seeing how beautiful it looked from above, but that wasn’t how things worked out. For the only thing that mattered was finding jacery, then somewhere safe for your children to stay while you went back and fought for your mother's birth right.

—

Soon as you arrived within the gates of Winterfell, you were greeted by many lords and ladies who were fascinated by your appearances, mainly because the dye in your hair was wearing off, giving the illusion that you and your children had multi-coloured hair along with your unusual eye colour. Lady Gilliane, Cregan’s mother, escorted you inside immediately and had hot meals brought for you all while you waited for rooms to be ready for you as Jacery's belongings were being moved. The good lady had informed you that most hunts lasted a few days.

You sit across from Lady Gilliane, with Clara beside you, while the children sit at the table behind you. The three of you make small talk; you were intrigued by the stories of the north, mainly the one including direwolves. During mid-conversation, Clara whispers into your ear, “Princess, your milk is coming through.”

You glance down at your chest and see dark spots. Mortified, you hand Clara Daemon and put the thick, large cloak back on before taking him back into your arms.

“Would you like for me to send for a wet nurse?” Lady Gillian asks quietly. “You must be tired after all that traveling, and the nights are long here.”

At first, you were hesitant to accept, but given how kind she has been, you accepted. “Thank you, Lady Gilliane; you have been most kind to us.”

—

The quarters you were staying in had connecting rooms, which was quite pleasant. It meant you could keep an eye on your children without disturbing their sleep. All of your sons and Rhaenys were exhausted and had fallen asleep not long after they lay down. Rhaenys was currently snuggling into the middle of the bed you’d be sleeping in peacefully.

Your eldest daughter remains awake. You sit on the floor, feeling the soft fur beneath you as you braid Aemma’s hair. “You’ve been awfully quiet; is something wrong? Do you feel well?”

Slowly, she nods.

The last few days had been hard on your children; they weren’t used to being crammed together in such a small space, and it was difficult trying to explain why you had to go. You told them their Kepa had missed them so much that they were going to surprise him, which seemed to please them, but Aemma had hardly spoken since you left Dragonstone. Something else was going on with her; you knew she was deeply troubled by something but was too afraid to say what it was.

Perhaps she had learned of Lucery's death, which you had chosen not to tell them. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell them they had lost their beloved uncle and then drag them around while trying to find safety for them. “My sweet,” you say, finishing the braid. “There’s nothing you can’t tell me; you know that I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

Not answering you, she toys with threads of fur.

“Aemma, I cannot fix things if I don’t know what’s wrong,” you say softly.

Sighing, Aemma shuffles around so she’s facing you. Her eyes are wide and full of worry. “I don’t want to live in the red keep.”

You let out a loud gasp. “What?”

“I heard you and grandsire talking. You were crying, and he said Aegon would come to claim me. I'm a bastard, and people would say Aegon is my father.”

You watch as tears build in her eyes. You feel absolutely awful that she has overheard you and Daemon talking. She must have snuck out of her bedchambers and into yours and only picked up part of the conversation. You needed to now have a conversation that she was far too young for, but your daughter needed to know the truth, at least some of it.

“I don’t want to go with him,” she cries. “I want to stay with you on Dragonstone. Please don’t give me away, muña.”

You struggle to hold your own tears back. “Do you remember I told you that I lived in the red keep when you were born?”

“Yes,” she answers, cuddling by your side.

“When I was younger, it was arranged that I’d marry Aegon for political purposes. I lived in the red keep at the time, and then I fell pregnant with you.”

“And Rhaegar.”

“And Rhaegar,” you say, smiling before kissing the side of her head. Thinking about your son always hurt, but even more so now seeing how big his twin was. “I was very unhappy living in the keep and didn’t want you to feel the same way, so not long after you were born, I returned home to Dragonstone. But that meant I had to divorce Aegon.”

“So Aegon is my father?”

“Biologically, yes, but Jacaerys has loved you from the moment he held you in his arms and always considered you his daughter. And I promise he would never ever let anyone take you from us.”

“Would he frighten them away on Vermax?”

“He would burn the whole world to the ground if it meant you were safe.”

“So he won’t ever let Aegon take me?”

“No, sweet girl, he wouldn’t. You and your siblings are our whole being. Me and Jacaerys both share the blood of the dragon with our Velaryon and Targaryen heritage, which we share with you. You are our daughter, and you are so loved and that’s the only thing that truly matters.”

She wraps her arms around your neck and hugs you. You stay like that until the door slowly opens and your husband walks into the bedchamber. Aemma remains still in your arms for a moment before letting go of you and running to him and loudly yelling , “Kepa.”

You feel a wave of relief hearing her call him that. “Jace,” you wince, feeling pain in your stomach as you stand again. You suddenly notice the person standing behind him and assume it’s Cregan. “Lord Stark. I didn’t think you would be back for a few days.”

“When a dragon landed on our campsite, we decided it was time to head back,” Cregan chuckles.

Since Vermax was already at Winterfell when you arrived, you knew it was your own dragon who had ruined their hunt. Viserion definitely knew how to make an entrance.

“It’s an honor to meet you, princess. Prince Jacaerys has talked about you nonstop.”

“It’s an honor to be here. The stories I’ve heard don’t do Winterfell justice; your home is beautiful.”

“Thank you, princess.” He smiles watching as Jace picks your daughter up for a hug. “I shall leave you to rest; I only came to show the prince how to find his new quarters.”

As soon as Cregan is out of the room, Jace asks. “Lyarra, why is Aemma’s hair dark?”

You can see the fury in Jace’s eyes. He knew something was seriously wrong. You clear your threats. “Aemma, can you please go through to your bed?”

Aemma kisses Jace on the cheek before going through to the room she would be sharing with her brothers.

Jacaerys stares at you, waiting for you to answer; his eyes are wide and wild-like. You are glad your other daughter's snores alert him to her presence, so he lowers his voice. You lead him into another part of the quarts, where you begin to tell him but struggle to get the words out. “We dyed our hair so it was safer for us to travel without being spotted. The war has gotten worse and—”

“I knew from the moment I saw Viserion something was wrong. Is it our mother?”

You step closer to him and place your hand on his chest. Struggling to hold back tears, you say, “I’m so sorry, Jace, but Lucerys is gone. Aemond killed him.”

He steps back and begins frantically shaking his head. “No, no, he can’t be dead.”

“When Luke arrived at Storm’s end, Aemond was already there. Aemond threatened Luke, and Lord Borros did nothing to protect our brother—Luke fled and tried to come home,” you sob. “He tried to come home, but Aemond caught up to him on Vhagar.”

Jace stumbles back against the wall, as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. He remains silent for some time, then eventually says, “That doesn’t explain why you came here.”

Seeing the pain in his face, you try to spare him from it anymore. “It can wait till morning, my love.”

“Tell me why you came here.”

“It won’t—”

“Just tell me!” Tears stream from his bloodshot eyes. Jacaerys sinks further to the floor, crying and mourning in a way you’ve never seen from him before. “Please, just tell me.”

“The greens are coming for Aemma.”

In a blink of an eye, Jacaerys is out of the room, and you’re left on your own.

—

You are still sobbing into the pillow you’re holding close to your chest to muffle your tears when Jacaerys returns. The candles have burned out, so it’s difficult for you to see him, but you can hear him undressing before feeling the dip in the bed beside you.

“I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you,” he whispers. He feels for the bed to make sure he doesn’t crush your daughter before crawling in beside you. “And I’m sorry for leaving; I just needed a moment to get my head around...” You feel his wet cheek press against your shoulder. “I can’t believe he is gone.”

You understood Jace’s anger wasn’t directed at you; he was just torn up over Luke’s death. “Where did you go?”

“I went and spoke to Cregan. He has agreed to send an army south to fight for our mother.”

At least something had gone right.

“He had also agreed for our children to stay in Winterfell while we returned home to deal with the usurper. And in returning; I have betrothed Rhaenys to his son Rickon.”

You swallow thickly and say, “Oh.”

“I know you wanted to wait until they were older, but this could not wait. I needed to secure their safety.”

“I understand, my prince,” you say, kissing the back of his hand. “I’m just surprised; usually it’s the firstborn's hand that’s asked for.”

“I told him Aemma was already betrothed.”

Being careful not to wake your sleeping daughter; you spin around so you can face your husband. Even though it was dark, you were still trying to study his facial expression. “She is?”

“She will be betrothed to Aethan, our firstborn son. That way, nobody will ever try to usurp her for being a woman or question that she’s my rightful heir.”

You kiss him on the forehead. “When are we returning home?”

“I think we should wait a couple of days; make sure the children have settled and you have rested well.”

Jacaerys voice cracks as he talks; he rests his head against your chest, and you can feel him shaking. You stroke his hair as tears fall from his eyes. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through this.”

[samkerrworshipper]

the call up

leah williamson x reader

please keep sending requests in i need some fuel!

angst, panic attacks, pain, mentions of abuse of power, mentions of abuse, a short 4000 words im posting this at 2am so sorry for any typos or little things i might have missed x

my heart breaks for the espwnt as they navigate their current situation and i’ve been thinking a lot about it so here’s this little fic ❤️

blurb: you got the news notification, not a text, not a call, a fucking new notification that had broken your heart into a million different pieces

———————————————————————

I was consciously ignoring the sound of furious knocking against the bathroom door, but not on purpose. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I’d felt that way ever since I’d gotten the news notification and then the follow up text from Alexia asking if I was okay. No I wasn’t okay, but I’d told her I was fine anyway. It was a blur to me what had happened after that, I’d thrown my phone at a wall, knowing that my phone was probably 30 seconds off of lighting up furiously with more notifications. How could they do this to us? How could they do it to me? After that I’d stumbled my way into my ensuite, finding it hard to see properly with the tears that were crowding my eyes. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think beyond the thought of how this was actually happening.

I’d staggered my way into the shower, cranking the water to its highest point and sitting myself down on the floor. I was bawling my eyes out but I couldn’t really feel it, all I felt was numbness, overwhelmingly numb. The shower water was boiling hot but the searing liquid felt perfect against my skin, it did wonders to comfort the iciness inside of me. It also drowned out the neverending sound of me sobbing furiously into my own skin. I was still wearing my clothes, still dressed in the same t-shirt and shorts that I’d been wearing when I’d gotten the notification. I was scratching furiously at my legs, seeking out the relief that the mixture of pain and burning gave me.

How was this the world that we were living in? How was it that in the current world that we lived in I didn’t even have a basic human right? I was a sobbing, trembling mess just thinking about it all.

How was I supposed to go there and pretend that everything was fine, that I didn’t want to claw my throat out just at the thought of being in the presence of some of those people. It was insanity, pure insanity. I was a fucking world champion, one of the best players in the world and yet here I was, back to square one. What was the point in us even signing a treaty if they were just going to flat out ignore it anyways. It made me sick to my stomach, in what world was this okay, in what world was this how we lived?

Leah would probably hate me, hate me for being ungrateful for the opportunity, hate me for not taking a chance to play when she couldn’t. I was being fucking childish, it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, shouldn’t have been that upsetting. I was being given the opportunity to play the sport I loved for my country, so why did everything about it feel so wrong? Why couldn’t I find a part of my heart that was happy that I’d been called up, happy about the prospect of playing for my country. I should have been happy, should have been excited, should have been bewildered that they were asking for me to come back even after I’d told the press about all the abuse, it was a miracle really. My heart went out to Mapi, my best friend who I knew would be absolutely devastated that she’d been called up, she’d rejected a call-up to the world cup because of her views and now that was invalidated, everything she’d stood for was going out the window, much like the rest of us.

It was the knocking that brought me out of my spiral, it was non-stop, loud and furious.

“Y/n, I’m coming in sweetheart.”

It was Leah’s voice, both so gentle and stern at the same time. I didn’t take my head out of my knees as I heard the door to our ensuite open, I must have forgotten to lock it in the flurry of emotions that had gotten me to the shower floor. I heard Leah step cautiously into the room, probably taking in her surroundings and the state I was in. Then I heard the door to the shower opening and I couldn’t help but pull my head out of the spot in between my legs to look at her. She looked flustered, her hair and clothes dishevelled and nothing like what they’d looked like when she’d left this morning to take our dogs on a walk and meet up with Keira for coffee.

“Oh darling.”

I knew I probably looked like a mess, mascara smudged all over my red eyes. She reached out to comfort me but immediately recoiled when her skin made contact with the water, letting out a string of profanities towards the water,

“Fuck, you’re burning yourself,” She said, her eyes flashing with fear as she reached towards the temperature dial, immediately turning it down to a more luke warm temperature.

“No, I need to feel clean,” I reached up to turn the water controls back to my previous temperature btu Leah’s hand stopped me, her hands gently gathering my own in hers.

“You are clean y/n,” Her voice was a mere whisper, her voice hoarse as she hurriedly slipped off her shirt and shorts before climbing into the shower with me, just left in her sports bra and boxer shorts.

“Dirty,” I choked out, flinching away from her as she snaked an arm around my body.

“You are not dirty y/n/n,” her voice was stern, she was speaking to me with the intention to get past my internalised barriers that were trying to block her out, trying to block out her attempts to convince me that my self deprecating thoughts were wrong.

As soon as she noticed my hands falling down to my legs to continue scratching at them to get some release she put a stop to it, her own hands intertwining with mine and bringing them to her chest.

“I know there are a lot of twisted thoughts going through your head right now sweetheart, I know that this whole situation is so fucked up, beyond it being okay but I’m here for you.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like every breath that I was taking in was lacking in oxygen and everything I needed to be able to fucking breathe.

“How can they do this? How can they make us do this?”

Leah just shook her head at me, because we both knew she didn’t have an answer, that as much as I leaned on her to give me an answer for everything she just couldn’t in this situation.

“I don’t know.”

Her words were rocky, splotchy, it reflected everything that I was feeling in that moment.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m being ungrateful, I mean you can’t even play and I’m sitting her complaining about the fact I’m being given the opportunity to play,”

“You aren’t being given an opportunity, you are being forced to play. You are allowed to be annoyed about that, it’s not being ungrateful. We live in a world where as women we are supposed to be grateful about every single fucking opportunity we are given but this isn’t a opportunity my love, it’s fucking abuse, especially after what those men did to you.”

I shivered at Leah’s words, just thinking about everything that I’d given to that team just to be fucking abused and assaulted, it had taken so much therapy for me to acknowledge that it had been abuse, that it hadn’t been deserved, that I deserved better.

“I can’t go back, I can’t do it,” Leah nodded at me, pressing her lips to my forehead under the spray of the shower and nodding against my skin.

“That’s okay, we’ll sort it out, I’ll call Ale and we’ll figure it out. If you don’t want to go you don’t have to, we can't risk your mental health for fucking soccer.”

“They’ll take my licence, they’ll fine me, I’ll never be allowed back, they’ll find a way to invalidate my passport and I’ll never get to see my family again,”

“That’s a bridge we can cross, we’ll figure it out, what matters most is that you are okay.”

I didn’t feel okay, I felt like I was tearing at the seams, like seeing that news notification pop up on my screen as I’d been catching up on the most recent episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was probably the worst moment of my life.

“You do feel safe, y/n?”

I shook my head, burying deep into Leah’s neck, trying to get as far away from the world as I could.

“I love you y/n, I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens, you are stuck with me, so even if thats hard to believe I need you to know that, I need you to think about that. Let’s get you out of the shower, yeah?”

She was right, I didn’t believe her. I kept my cheek pressed into her neck as she lifted me up off of the floor and out of the shower, stripping off my layers and wrapping me in a towel, I refused to face her though, refused to look into those eyes.

“Can I carry you?” Her voice was so hesitant and before I could gather my thoughts, the ones that told me to push Leah away I found myself nodding.

She engulfed me in her arms so quickly it was as if she knew I was on the cusp of changing my mind, I still hadn’t stopped crying, my sobs had just quietened down into numb, soundless tears that somehow burned my cheeks as they dripped down my skin. My chest pressed against her own as she lifted me up and walked us into our room, our bedroom. I squeezed my eyes, trying my hardest to ignore how perfect it felt in that moment to be pressed against her, to be in her arms, how perfect it felt to be held by her.

She gently placed me down on our bed and I tried my hardest not to whimper at the loss of contact, she dashed off into our wardrobe, stumbling around in there for a few seconds before returning with a fresh matching bra and boxer set on herself and a sports bra and pair of boxer shorts for me. I didn’t even flinch as she pulled the items of clothing over my body, just went limp in her arms. Once she was done dressing me she climbed onto the bed beside me.

“Can I hold you?”

I nodded at her with tears in my eyes and she’d immediately wrapped both of her arms around me. She rested herself against the head of the bed and brought me into her lap so my back was pressed against her chest, it was the skin to skin contact that made me start to sob unapologetically and furiously. Leah was quick to tighten her grip on me and start to rock me back and forth in her arms.

“I’m so sorry this is happening to you sweetheart, I’ll do anything I can to fix it.”

Leah was a problem solver, furiously dedicated to helping out anyone that she could. In this instance though I couldn’t find anything that she could actually help with, what was there for her to do? No one could do anything, any effort, any attempt to try and make a change, for Jenni, for us all, was over.

“How am I supposed to go there and act all happy and grateful when all I want to do is tell them all fuck you, fuck you for doing this to me, fuck you for condoning the abuse for years, fuck you for covering it all up.”

My words came out in hiccups between the sobs, Leah waited for a few minutes before answering me, it got to the point where I was worried she wasn’t going to answer me at all.

“If you don’t want to stay and play you won’t have to, it’s against your rights and the FIFA code says so, fuck there bullshit law that says you have to go. We’ll talk with our lawyers, talk with Ale and Mapi and we’ll find a solution. If they make you play then you can sit on the field, you can fake an injury, get yourself red carded. We’ll find a solution, we’ll work it out.”

Everything Leah said made sense but it also didn’t, how was I supposed to go there, how was I supposed to walk in a building and try and reason with people I was terrified of, people that I now needed anti anxiety medication for, people that had given me years of trauma and PTSD.

It was then that we were both shaken by a furious banging from our front door, my mind went to the worst place possible. What if it was reporters, or people from fifa, or people from the Spanish federation? What if they’d come to take me, what if they were already here to take my licence or take me to jail?”

Leah sensed my distress and slid herself out from behind me.

“I’ll go take a look, stay here, it’ll be fine.”

Even her voice was unsure, like she didn’t even know if it was actually okay. She darted out of our room, I heard her thudding down the stairs and then making it to our front door. I heard her open it, which indicated to me it had to be someone we knew because if it was someone she didn’t want to see she would have looked through the peephole and left them. I heard the hushed voices of two people, maybe? Then the furiously fast footsteps of an amount of people I couldn’t make out. Within a few second though all was revealed to me as Alexia, Mapi, Lucy and Keira bursted into my room, Leah chasing after them. One look at them all had me sobbing again. Alexia and Mapi were quick to jump onto the bed beside me, I noticed the the tear tracks that were painting Mapi’s face as well and the red rims around her eyes. Mapi was my best friend in the entire world, we’d played with each other since we were kids. Alexia was like my older sister, she’d taken me under my wing as soon as I’d joined Barca as a rookie and she’d treated me like her own ever since. The two women meant more to me than anybody else, bar Leah and I knew that they both knew how much this would be tearing me up.

“How can they do this to us? After everything they’ve done?”

“Lo se mi amor, lo siento mucho.” (I know my love, I’m so sorry)

Ale’s voice didn’t do much to comfort me, if anything her familiar words that were spoken in our mother tongue just made it all pour out of me more.

The two english women in the room were lead out by Leah, the three of them sensing that this was a moment that us Spaniards needed to have on our own.

“No puedo hacerlo Ale lo siento pero no puedo hacerlo.” (I can’t do it Ale, I’m so sorry but I can’t do it.)

“It’s okay Mi amor, I understand. We are going to sort it out for you and Mapi, we’ll figure it out, you don’t have to be there if you don’t want to, they can’t force you.”

“Can’t they?”

It was the first time Mapi had gotten a word into the conversation and Alexia’s eyes immediately met hers in a glare, she was trying to stop me from working myself up even further and Mapi’s words weren’t helping.

“No they can’t María, we’ll work it out, I’ll sort it out for my girls, I’ll keep you protected, te prometo que.” (I promise you)

“You can’t make that promise, you didn’t protect us last time.”

The tension between the two was thickening and it was making me feel even smaller.

“I can try my hardest, last time it was different and you know it, this time we have an audience, we have people that we can trust to help us, we don’t have to be scared anymore, I am going to protect you, lo juro.”

I pressed myself further into Ale’s arms, finding solace and comfort in the older woman's arms.

“I’m scared, Ale.”

I felt Ale’s head nod against my own from its position balancing on top of mine, her head burrowing into my semi wet hair that Leah had partly dried with a towel.

“I know pequeño, you have every right to be scared, but I’ll keep you safe and if you want to go home after we negotiate with them then you can, no one is going to make you play.”

I nodded into Ale’s body, searching for Mapi’s hand and when I found it tangling it in my own, finding warmth and steadiness in her hand.

I could feel my body relaxing into Ale’s, the emotions of the last hour starting to hit me and affect my energy level.

“Go to sleep, cariño, rest, you need it.”

I’d nodded sleepily into Alexia’s body and let myself relax fully against her, letting all of the stress, fear and anxieties leave my body as the feeling of sleep started to overcome my senses.

When I woke up it was no longer light outside. I shot up in bed, realising I was alone and immediately clutching at my chest as I felt the anxiety overcome my body, I’d been deserted, because of my stupid fears about being called up, I deserved it, I was so weak, so stupid, so fucking unworthy of love and attention. It all came crashing down on me, like a massive wave, all of the feelings crashing down on top of me in an overwhelming cascade. I was gasping for air, frantically clawing the sheets of the bed off of my body, suddenly feeling overwhelmed, overheated and sweaty. I’d left a cold sweat patch on our bed sheets but it didn’t really bother me, I was so hot and it was so hard to breathe and I just couldn’t think.

The next thing I knew Leah was walking into our room with a cup of tea that she’d almost immediately dropped when her eyes had met mine, forgetting the cup and liquid and jumping directly onto the bed, her mind immediately reeling.

“Y/n/n, you're having a panic attack, I need you to breathe for me, how we’ve practised, you’re going to be okay, take some deep breaths for me.”

I’d gulped and nodded at Leah, we had practised it quite a bit, it didn’t make it any easier when this happened but it did reassure me that I knew how to do it.

Her hand had almost immediately found its way to my hunched over back, rubbing circles into the muscles along my back as I struggled to take in any oxygen.

“You’ve got it my love, deep breaths, in and out, it’s going to be okay, I’m right here.”

Leah’s voice was so soft, so comforting, like it was made of cotton and teddy bear fur.

“I thought I was alone and I-I thought you’d left me.”

My voice was so unsteady, so unlike me.

“I’m never leaving you honey, not if I can help it, I’m here for you, always by your side.”

She solidified her statement by pressing a gentle kiss to the side of my temple, I relaxed my scrunched up face against her mouth, trying to enjoy the feeling of it as much as possible.

“Good girl, keep taking those deep breaths for me, you're doing so well mi amor.”

Leah knew very little Spanish, I’d tried my hardest to teach her some, especially when she’d stayed with me in Barca but it just never stuck, she didn’t practise enough for it to stick, not that I minded, my mum was english so I’d spoken both since I was a child, my English was just as good as my Spanish so it wasn’t hard for me to converse with my partner.

Leah’s voice kept rubbing against my back, helping to guide me back down to earth from the panic induced cloud that I’d sent myself to. When I did finally come back down I started to take in my surroundings, the damp sheet below me, Leah’s breath against my neck, our dog and cat sitting on the edge of our bed, cuddled up together asleep.

“Hey angel, you back with me?”

Her voice was so gentle, so patient. Leah’s hand found its way to my face, brushing the loose brunette strands from my face and pushing them behind my ear. I felt shameful, I couldn’t handle looking into those eyes, those eyes that held a world's worth of care in them, the eyes that I knew could break me down into tears on their own accord.

“M’ sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

Her reassurance was what I needed, I craved that reassurance, craved her approval.

“I just want this all to go away, I just want to be able to me be, just live how I want to.”

Leah pushed herself back against our pillows and pulled me with her, wrapping her arms around me and bringing me to her chest, her lips fell to my forehead out of habit, it was one of her favourite things to do, I loved the connection.

“You can be you, you are allowed to be upset about this, there is nothing wrong about being angry about what is happening to you.”

I let my head find a nook in Leah’s body and relax into it properly, finding so much peace in her.

“I just want this to all be over, better yet, never have happened.”

“Fair enough, you’ve dealt with enough bullshit to last you the rest of your life, you are allowed to be angry about that, anything you feel is valid, your life has been turned upside down by a bunch of old white men who don’t care about anybody besides themselves and it sucks, it sucks that most of the men in power across our world are the same and that we can’t really do anything to change that. I’m here for you though, so is Ale and Mapi and everyone else that cares about you. It sucks, but that's what we have and maybe it’s enough, maybe it’s all we really need.”

I nodded along with Leah’s words, she was so wise, so smart considering her age. It was one of the things I admired her so much for, how she knew so much but was also prepared to educate herself on something that she wasn’t sure about. She was always wanting to be better, to learn more, it was jarring for me when I’d met her, having come from a very traditional family and set of views.

“Go back to sleep my love, we’ll work this all out in the morning, I promise.”

“Pinky swear?”

She’d rolled her eyes at me but nodded regardlessly, knowing that if she didn’t my anxieties would creep up and I’d probably send myself into another fit.

“I pinky swear.”

[elisysd]

15. Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'cause I've built my life around you

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

You were a bundle of nerves, barely able to sleep that night, too busy mentally preparing scenarios about all the ways meeting Charles’ family could go wrong. You hadn’t even dared to move during the night, scared of waking up your boyfriend who was sound asleep by your side. He needed every bit of sleep he could get. So, as soon as the sun had started to rise, you had left the bed and gone on a run along the harbor, enjoying the peace and quiet there.

It  felt nice to be able to sort out your thoughts on your own, trying to find a sense of belonging, a new purpose in life, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of failure. It was a tough pill to swallow. You knew it was your fault, you knew that you shouldn’t have told your boss about your affair with Charles as soon as the first sparks started to ignite between the both of you. You had been a coward, you had been scared to lose everything but in the end, it had happened. Now, you didn’t know where life would take you but also, for the first time in your life you had the opportunity to do things for yourself without the pressure of a lingering promise or without feeling the need to make your parents proud. You could do something for you. You just needed to find what it would be.

When you came back home an hour later, you were surprised to see Charles attempting to prepare breakfast even if the kitchen was looking like a warfield. Pancakes’ batter was spread on the counter but it didn’t prevent Charles to casually smile at you, unbothered by the mess around him.

“I missed you in bed this morning.”

“I woke up early and decided to go on a run.” you explained as you poured yourself a glass of water.

“We could have gone together.”

“I needed to clear my mind. Between my job, or more the lack of, and our relationship made public and now how I’m going to meet your family in less than two hours… It's a lot.” you sighed, sitting on a chair as he handed you a plate of fluffy pancakes, something you weren’t expecting considering the mess in the kitchen, a cup of fruit and a freshly brewed coffee. “I’m scared. I’m terrified, even.”

“Why?”

“What if your mom doesn’t like me? What if your family doesn’t accept me? Because after all, why would they when my own family is rejecting me and pretending I don’t exist….” you gulped, feeling tears prickling behind your eyelids, making you look away. It hurt to admit it out loud and you suddenly felt very stupid.

“Y/N…” he kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. “My family is not like yours, thankfully. They just want to see me happy and guess what? You make me very happy. That’s all that matters to them.”

You nodded, unable to find the right words to express how much you needed to hear these words. But still, you were barely able to eat anything and when you finally left for the yacht, your legs were nothing but jelly.

Charles briefly stopped at a grocery store to pick up some food while you were waiting for him in the car. You quickly noticed the army of fans who were waiting for him and you watched him taking his time to sign caps and take pictures with everyone. You gulped. How could you have ever thought he was not genuine? You barely noticed people taking pictures of you inside the car, too focused on your boyfriend. 

“Hey, mister popular.” you smiled when he came back inside the car, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Sorry… I didn’t think we would get noticed so easily.”

“I suppose I have to get used to that.”

“I’m sorry.” he linked his fingers to yours and drove away from the crowd.

When you arrived at his yacht, you were glad to notice you were the only ones. You helped Charles prepare everything until Charles saw his older brother and his girlfriend arriving, followed by Arthur and Carla as well as Pascale, Charles’ mom. Charles went to greet them, not noticing how your body froze and your breathing became more and more shallow. You gripped to the first chair you found, trying to calm yourself down and praying to not faint in front of them. You closed your eyes, your ears ringing and gulped. It was hot outside, too hot and you barely heard Charles’ voice calling for you before you felt your eyes rolling backwards, your body doing the same.

Waking up, you expected to see the worried face of your boyfriend but instead, it was his mom who was looking at you, a towel soaked in icy water on your forehead. You were inside the yacht, away from the sun and the noise. You could hear muffled voices on the outside. You didn’t know what to say, words begging to come out of your mouth but you didn’t know where to begin. What an amazing first impression you had made. Sensing your distress, pascale put her hand on yours, squeezing it gently.

“You scared everyone out there, darling. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? My son?” she smiled.

“This is not how I planned to meet you…” you stuttered, your voice sore.

“It’s a first meeting to remember for sure. I’m glad you’re okay. Charles told me a lot of things about you.”

“I’m sorry.” you apologized, thinking about how you had treated Charles at first and being sure that his mom knew. “I wasn’t the nicest with your son.”

“Don’t apologize. It makes me happy that not everyone treats him like a god. It’s good for his ego.” she winked. “Of course when he told me you were a journalist I got scared but I'm not one to judge without getting to know you first. and I trust my son… he loves you a lot. ”

“I love him a lot too.”

“I know. No one would make the choice of putting their career at risk for someone if they had no real feelings for them. That's how I know Charles is between good hands, in a happy, loving and healthy relationship. That’s all I want for him.”

She put her hand on your cheek, removing a strand of hair and putting it behind your ear. It wasn’t much, but it had been so long since someone had acted so motherly around you that it was enough to make you cry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to overstep.”

“You didn’t.” you quickly reassured her. “It’s just… I’m not used to people being affectionate around me.” you briefly explained.

Pascale gave you a tender smile before leaving you to rest. You felt bad about sleeping for a good part of the afternoon while Charles was having fun with his family but around dinner you were feeling much better. You took a deep breath and went out seeing Lorenzo and Pascale preparing the table. You slowly approached as the mother saw you and gave you a big smile.

“Can I do something?” you asked.

“You can sit, we’re done with it.” Pascale replied.

“And I don’t think my brother would appreciate us making you work. I’m Lorenzo, by the way. We didn’t have time to meet.” you saw a glimpse of playfulness in his eyes that made you blush.

Thankfully you didn’t have time to add anything as Charles was walking to you, embracing you, a hand on your cheek, checking for the slightest sign of you being weak or in pain.

“Im’ okay, Charles.” you smiled.

“You sure? How is your head? You tell me if you don't feel good, alright?”

You nodded before kissing him as Arthur, Carla and Charlotte were coming in your directions. As dinner progressed and laughter filled the table, you couldn’t help but notice how they were all close to each other. There was so much love there that it made you think about your own family. You looked down on your fingers and apologized, pretending to need to go to the bathroom. You locked yourself in and looked at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t help but feeling like an intruder in this family, you weren’t fitting. And that hurt you so much. You heard a few knocks and Charles’ voice outside. You sprayed some water on your face, to try to make you feel more alive and opened the door.

“You’ve been in there for the past fifteen minutes… I was starting to get worried.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

It’s just… It’s very stupid. I wasn’t expecting your family to be this… family oriented? It just showed me what a family is supposed to look like and it hit home a bit too close. And it’s not your fault. It’s just a reminder of what I will never have and I wasn’t ready to face it. Luc's death broke my family apart when your dad’s death only brought yours closer. I guess… I’m jealous and sad.”

“I understand you and I didn’t think you could feel like that. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn't expected it either.”

“You know… we can be your new family. I you want.”

Your ride back to the apartment was made in silence. You were tired and despite your little fainting, you had a nice evening. Your conversation with Charles had helped you making you feel less awkward and more at ease around his brothers and mother. You had fun. You even exchanged phone numbers with Carla and Charlotte promising to meet someday soon for a coffee or a shopping session. When Charles finally parked his car and as you were about to leave, he stopped you.

“Do you want to come to Zandvoort with me?” he blurted out, avoiding your gaze and you were almost sure he was blushing.

You bit your lower lip, hesitating.

“It’s going to be weird for me to be in the paddock without a media badge… And that would mean that it would be our first official outing as a couple. It would make things really official.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No… it’s just scary. But at the same time, it would be wrong of me to say that I don’t want to have access to the Ferrari’s hospitality and garage the way I want to.” you cheekily added, making him laugh.

“As long as you promise me to not snoop around.”

“You are asking a lot from me.” 

Being on a race weekend without your team, without any interviews to prepare, without your laptop was a foreign feeling, something you were not used to anymore. It was also making you vulnerable, you were not in control of the situation anymore, you had to match your pace to Charles’. You didn’t want to be considered as Charles’ puppy who would follow him around because you had nothing better to do. You were scared to feel bored and out of place, you didn’t want to sit around and wait for him. You wanted to feel useful.

“I promise you, we will find you something to do. Meanwhile, I have a gift for you.” he said, awkwardly standing in front of you.

“Charles… why?”

“Because I wanted to. And because I know that these past few weeks have been tough on you and I just want you to feel loved and cared for…”

“You don’t need to give me anything, I know you love me, you don’t need to prove to me anything.”

“I want to.” he replied, fumbling in his pocket to retrieve a jewelry box and handing it to you. You took it, noticing the blush on his face spreading to his neck. Opening it you almost gasped. It was a thin silver necklace, delicate and simple with the number sixteen made of tiny little diamonds. 

“Charles… gosh, it’s beautiful. But… you really shouldn't have…”

“I know but…I wanted you to have something from me when I wasn’t around, so you know that even if I am not right next to you, I’m still with you. It’s cheesy…”

“It’s not. It’s sweet. Can you put it on me?”

You felt his hands shaking around your neck as he placed the jewel around you.

“It’s really beautiful.” you said as he kissed the back of your head, telling you they had to go for the first free practice of the session.

She could see the crowd waiting for Charles to get out of the car, making her gulp and second guessing her decision to follow him.

“I can come back later if you don’t want to attract the attention more than necessary…”

“I don’t want to hide you. Not anymore.” he simply said. “Do you trust me?”

“More than anyone else.”

He nodded and got out of the car before quickly coming to your door to open it and handed his hand for you to take. His grip was firm and you knew that you didn’t have to worry. So, you took a deep breath and you chin high, you walked right next to him as flashes from cameras almost blinded you and screams from the fans were almost making you deaf. But you wouldn’t back down. You were ready. 

Author's note: What a pole, what a qualifying session it has been! I'm so happy so let's celerate with this chapter! Daghe Charles!

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