#we are very different ppl when it comes to handling obstacles but man I really do not Get It

[blacksails2017]

roomie is being such a karen to the construction contract companies i am going to LOSE it 

[jonathanlejonhjarta]

Hey dude! What are your thoughts on the Helvar/Brekker ship? I'd never considered it but I recently saw an edit for it and I do like it! I really like the way you look at fictional characters and kind of do your own thing with them while also understanding the source material very well. So I'm interested to hear your opinion! Have a nice day!

hello pal !! ahhhh ok so, i saw that post and i was like FINALLY someone else than me is thinking about it ! because yes, of course i have thought about it. matthias is my beautiful scandinavian boyfriend representation so of course i have wanted him to relieve that he likes ppl of all genders because then i’d have a chance with him ;–) nina/matthias is a super good ship though, but i would so break them up if that meant nina&inej became girlfriends in canon

i find it super difficult when it comes to shipping kaz with people (for example, i am not a fan of the canon ship kaz is involved in, to the extent that i actually have it blacklisted) because of kaz’s trauma, him being in that kind of relationship is so difficult, which we are shown in the book, which is probably one of the reasons why he and inej didn’t become involved in the end. 

BUT if kaz and matthias was to be in a romantic relationship these are my thoughts: 

in the book, it looks like matthias comes from a strictly (binary and cis-) heteronormative patriarchal culture, where the main point of relationships is, in the end, to conceive children. men and women have different roles in society and duties toward the other gender. i’d say that the fjerdan culture we are shown in the duology inherently homophobic and misogynistic. (basing this on how when nina and matthias discusses his previous romantic and sexual relationships and how matthias comments that women shouldn’t act the way nina does) 

so the internalised homophobia would be the main obstacle matthias would have to overcome when realising he was attracted to kaz, but also him admitting that all of the men in the world he could like, kaz is the one.

while kaz’s main obstacle is his trauma and the fear of letting people close, mentally and physically.  

matthias is also pretty prude (it is possible that this has to do with the cultural climate he is raised in) and therefore, what i’ve interpreted, respectful of personal boundaries. and that’s great because he needs to be that around kaz to not give kaz a panic attack and/or get murdered

we know from canon how kaz handles liking people: he accidentally insults them, he lets them see him vulnerable, he challenges his skin against skin repulsion when he touches their neck, helping them changing their bandages after they’ve non fatally gotten shot in the chest. 

matthias and kaz’s relationship would be kaz letting matthias hand brush against the bare skin of the back of his hand without flinching, standing side by side, almost/maybe shoulders touching while they wait in the harbour for inej to dock, kaz fiddling with matthias’ blonde hair when it has grown out, them locking eyes during events and matthias giving kaz a little smile, kaz answering with a scowl to surpress his own smile which just makes matthias’ smile widen. it would be matthias asking for permission before touching kaz’s face to wipe away tears after a nightmare. it would be kaz making himself as tiny as possible and then leaning forward, burying his face against matthias’ shoulder and let the nightshirt the other man is wearing absorb tears. it would be kaz nodding into mattihas’ shoulder when the latter asks him if it is okay if he puts his arms around kaz.

it’d be kaz promising matthias to protect him from the drüskelle, since he is a deserter and they want him dead. it’d be matthias having second thoughts of joining the dregs and being with kaz brekker, because he is a traitor who deserves death. matthias panicking and kaz snapping at him to pull him together because if fate wanted him dead, he would’ve died when shot in the chest. that hadn’t been the plan for matthias helvar. and if it had been, surprise, kaz had changed the plan to something he thought fitting his and the world’s needs. 

this may seem small things, but for kaz, it is a step on the way to let people close again. he’d never call matthias his partner publicly. this is not because matthias is a man. it has to do with they liking each other is their sake and him knowing their romantic involvement will not last forever. but instead of worrying about them in the future, he tries to focus the present.

the present where they all sit around the table in the van eck manison, matthias with his fork frozen on the way to his mouth while listening to jesper and wylan bickering about which month during the year is the ultimate time for planting those new flowers in wylan’s mother’s garden (wylan says april, jesper says august) and both nina and inej taking wylan’s side, making jesper complain about how everyone always is against him and kaz commenting that jesper shouldn’t say anything about gardering when he has no idea what he is talking about. 

(does kaz know anything about gardering??? what is this man that matthias likes??? how come he knows everything?? matthias is staring at his boyfriend, the fork stil in the air, not having reached it’s goal)